#I’m hoping to GOD she gets into the RP I applied to ….

[more-than-a-princess]

@madamhatter​ asked:  For Vampire Sonia, what were her circumstances in becoming a vampire? Was she from a royal family of vampires (considering her lineage)? Or was she converted? For how long has she been roaming the world, and what are her favorite locations across Europe (as if she'll want to step into the U.S.) to stay at?

Unprompted HC asks - Accepting from mutuals!

For Sonia's Vampire AU, much of her origins and lore can be traced back to a part of Novoselic history that historians always get wrong but the story has had an effect on Novosonian society for centuries. To be honest, the important question isn't "How was Sonia turned into a vampire" but "Why was she turned into a vampire?" It's much less about the vampire who turned her and far more about the events that led to why. And that 'why' affects nearly every Sonia verse I've got: canon, modern AU, historical AUs (after a certain point in history), etc.

Note: There are slight deviations of the outcome of this story depending on the verse. For most canon and AU verses, the main story is how it ended. For Sonia's Diabolik Lovers and Vampire AUs (and yes, they are different verses!), there are two twists on the main story ending that apply to those verses.

And before I get started: I may revise this as time goes on. However, I'm not looking for criticism, constructive or otherwise, on this headcanon. It's just for RP, for fun, and I'm not terribly interested as to if it is heavily inspired by another fandom (tbh, I wasn't even thinking about other fandoms when coming up with this) or alters European history a bit. Where the history is concerned, I was mostly trying to have dates line up and have a fictional nation fit in with a continent's real history, while giving the story some legitimacy to explain one of Novoselic's most prominent prejudices that shows up in quite a few threads.

With all that said, this HC isn't just the circumstances of how Vampire Sonia came to be. Instead it answers the following question: Why is Novoselic so against having a female monarch?

That answer, as well as Sonia's vampiric origins, can be found roughly 500 years ago. Sonia, or members of her family or staff, have mentioned in various threads that the last female monarch reigned 5 centuries ago and almost brought about the destruction of the country. And it is her ancestor's story that I'm going to share here.

Princess Alina Fiorella Sonia de Jamais, born 1494, was considered something of a miracle. Five years of marriage and only several miscarriages to show for it, not only the King and Queen, but the entire country, felt her birth was a blessing. The Royal Council had worried that there was something amiss in the royal bloodline as, if no children had come to pass, it would be the first instance in modern Novoselic history that the crown would pass from king to duke instead of king to prince. If one royal child could be born, certainly more would follow.

Except that never came to pass. The Princess became the only child of the King and Queen and, by royal decree and ordained by God, the heir to the throne. No one had expected or planned for it, but the Royal Family and their Court believed it best to raise the Crown Princess as they would any other Princess. The King was still quite young himself and the court had their hopes pinned on the fact the Princess would follow her father's footsteps, marry young, and birth the male heir they wanted, all before the King passed away. Thus, while the Italian Wars emerged around the Novoselic borders, Princess Alina was raised in relative peace and happiness. Her nation was a neutral party and she had her kingdom at her disposal: to love her and to teach her.

Which they did. While she excelled at all of the accomplishments for a Princess, Alina was far more apt to set her drawings, her musical instruments, and dancing aside to explore the breadth of her country. Life at court gave her little amusement but her visits to Novoselic's various cities and towns brought her the joy and fascination she looked for in life. Whether it was how to spin wool into yarn or draw water out of a well, she wanted to learn how it was done and would converse happily with anyone who wanted to speak with her. Her friendliness posed a problem for the Novoselic Court, though: someone's respectability played no part in her willingness to befriend them, so alongside the upstanding citizens, Alina also befriended the outcasts. Those without families, work, or even a home of their own: she often took to spending plenty an afternoon with an older woman who lived alone in a cottage at the very edge of the capital. Unmarried and considered a spinster, she made her way in the world as a healer and taught the young princess plenty about the various properties of herbs, minerals, and methods of healing the sick and wounded. She often gave her gifts as well: a stone to bring about good dreams, a silk-wrapped poultice meant for protection and wishes. Alina was fascinated, and she trusted and believed in it all.

But it wasn't enough to keep Novoselic out of the wars. When Alina was 17, her father decided to ally with the Holy League against France in the conflict that would be known as The War of the League of Cambrai. Worried about France's growing interest in taking over parts of Italy and how they could easily cast their eye on Novoselic, the King supplied Pope Julius II with 6,000 trained Novoselic soldiers and participated in several battles himself. With court life disrupted by war, royal balls, parties, and marriages were set aside to support the efforts.

Until 1513, with the siege of Dijon. While it had been a successful campaign against the French, after several successes the King had finally been wounded on the battlefield and succumbed to septicemia in September 1513. Upon his death, the relatively sheltered, beloved Princess of Novoselic became its first reigning queen. And while she was an accomplished singer, created beautiful embroidery, and was proficient in the modern languages, she was woefully inexperienced in managing a royal court or leading an army. Nervous, she took her rightful place on the throne and insisted tradition and her father's wishes would both continue in the form of both coronation celebrations and continuing their alliance with the Holy League.

The former she excelled at: Queen Alina of Novoselic invited nobles and allies far and wide, if the war could spare them, for the coronation festivities. It had been years since they'd had much in the way of frivolity and she thought it best to boost morale, cost be damned. And wanting to welcome as many as possible, she took the advice of her Royal Council in devising the welcomed nobles from a variety of families. Even if she didn't know them personally yet, she was eager to meet them and believed that forming a positive relationship would ensure both an end of the war and a successful rule. And one such noble family, from Novosonian lands close to the Italian border, arrived with blessings from the second son of an Earl and his retinue. While he'd likely never get the title, for his brother had married and produced a male heir, he was still very welcome at court: he was charming, he was witty, he was very handsome, and he spoke keenly about Queen Alina's interests in the commoners an a yearning to understand how the world worked. Her dancing and singing were lovely, but he was the only one who saw an interest in her beyond her feminine accomplishments. And Queen Alina, for the entirety of her young life, and yet to feel what she thought to be love. Until she met him, that is.

And fall in love she did: insisting he remain as a mainstay at court unless absolutely needed on the battlefield, much of Queen Alina's time was spent in his company. With a council she trusted, she often deferred to them to make decisions regarding the War: where to send troops and aid, and how much of each. When she did step in, it was to insist that all wounded soldiers, no matter their rank in society, be given equal access to treatment and healing, and that their families be looked after in case the worst should happen. Alina was far more familiar with the peasants taking up arms in her name than she was with the nobles who led them, and her compassion meant taking away resources from the nobility in order to help. She ignored the grumblings of her Council in favor of reassurance and compliments from the man she loved.

Until Novoselic's participation in the War began to fail. With the Queen deferring to the Council for strategy, Novoselic's army had a lack of discipline and an inefficient command structure that led to more injuries and more wasted resources. Turning to her Royal Council for support, they advised the young Queen to continue sending reinforcements to the battlefield and, beyond protecting their borders, to consider expanding into French territory. More conquests in France would surely weaken them and push them back away from Italy and Novoselic while giving Novoselic a rare chance to broaden their borders and become more prosperous. It sounded like the best strategic option, and so for the first time, Novoselic attempted not to only defend their borders and the peace but actively set out to conquer another nation.

And they were struck down. Easily. And with soldiers perishing on the battlefield or succumbing to poison disguised as food and medicine, the once-strong borders of Novoselic were beginning to crumble and the people now lived in fear: of invasion, of death, of a Queen who could not protect them, who seemed to curse them, who still visited that old woman on the fringes of the capital. A woman who was, soon enough accused of witchcraft, was tried, and found guilty before she was burned alive. Rumors spread of the Queen's close friendship with her and, due to how much the country had suffered during her rule, that she was a witch as well.

Alina was swiftly and quickly imprisoned in the underground dungeons of Novoselic Castle by order of the Royal Council, and her guards, superstitious men that they were, wholly believed that their Queen had dabbled in witchcraft. Alina was interrogated, abused, and tortured, out of protection of the nation to free it from her spells. Weak, pained, and grasping onto the last slivers of hope she had, she felt that only her lover and her own family would argue for her innocence and she was grateful, then, when her lover and the closest thing she still had to a father, the Duke of Valais and the late King's brother, finally opened her cell.

Unfortunately, Queen Alina would never leave that cell alive. She'd thought they brought word of her release and instead, they'd brought weapons. Words and blades alike, Alina was dismayed to learn that the man she'd loved all along had allied with her uncle to distract her away from royal duties: if he married a Queen he'd simply be a royal spouse with no real power unless they had a child, and quickly. But if Queen Alina was removed from the throne and her uncle became King, he'd promised him one of his daughters as a wife and to make him a Duke, expanding his lands four times over. It was an opportunity he couldn't refuse. Her inefficiency as a ruler had been coupled with deliberate sabotage by the Royal Council: they intercepted the reinforcements and resources they sent, they purposely gave her unwise advice in strategy. Alina's uncle revealed that there was no real vested interest in taking over France: in fact, much of the Italian Wars would change little in redesigning the map of Europe. But war and all of its casualties presented possibilities: the chance for others to gain power and rise above their stations. And while the Royal Decree insisted the throne was Alina's by birthright, the Royal Council did not agree. She was a woman, inexperienced and enamored with frivolities, love, and narrowing the gap between the rich and poor, the nobility and the commoners. She threatened their entire way of life, and they needed a way to get rid of her that challenged her legitimacy to rule.

And thus, with Novoselic's borders beginning to crumble and French troops beginning to invade, the members of the Royal Council surrounded Queen Alina of Novoselic and killed her. Hanging or burning, they insisted, was too good for a witch of royal blood: their fury of having to be led by a young woman insisted she be beaten and stabbed over and over until, at long last, her head was severed from her body and brought to the people as a sign of freedom. The witch's curse was lifted and her uncle, next in line for the throne, was crowned King. Novoselic's borders were rebuilt stronger and, after the Battle of Marignano, Novoselic signed a treaty to remain neutral in future international conflicts. They never sought to expand their borders again.

But Queen Alina's short rule of Novoselic fueled a fear turned into superstition and tradition. The one time Novoselic was nearly invaded, a woman had sat on the throne and succumbed to her heart over logic in the way, according to the men that composed the Royal Council, only a woman could. History remembers her as simpleton of a queen, unfit to rule and prioritized her own heart over that of her country that nearly led to its destruction who, after welcoming enemy troops in disguise, was murdered before the new King brought victory, wealth, and happiness to the Kingdom of Novoselic.

It leaves out, however, the fact that Queen Alina of Novoselic was maneuvered due to her inexperience and was, ultimately, set up to fail simply due to the fact no one wanted a reigning Queen on the throne.

In most verses and AUs, this is why modern day Novosonians are skeptical of Princess Sonia eventually becoming queen: the last and only reigning queen in their history nearly destroyed the country, they're superstitious, and plenty of the older, male members of the Royal Council are just as misogynistic as their ancestors. Her name, selected for her by her father, is in honor of the first Queen of Novoselic. And they are hoping she does not repeat her mistakes.

Diabolik Lovers AU

In this verse, the young noble Alina falls in love with is Karlheinz in disguise. While he's allied with Alina's uncle for a position of power, his intent all along was to decimate the royal family and to use the country as a place to foster the Adam and Eve project. With the intent of seducing Alina and eventually killing her, the next step of his plan would have been to murder the rest of her family and take the nation for his own, hoping to make an entire country of hybrid human-vampire beings one day.

Alina, who had truly fallen in love with a monster who was incapable of it, was heartbroken as Karlheinz betrayed her. With the rest of the Council (and her uncle) on the way to finish her off, she knew that her life was essentially forfeit but still believed in her nation. Reaching for the silk-covered poultice her old friend, an actual witch, had given to her so long ago, she'd thrown it at the vampire and proclaimed two wishes: one, that he could no longer touch any of her bloodline and two, that no reigning King of Novoselic would ever invite or allow any of his brethren into Novoselic's borders again. Vampires would, in Alina's dying wish, be barred from Novoselic forever.

Karlheinz, to put it lightly, was not amused by being out-maneuvered by witches. The spell had taken effect and no longer was he able to sustain himself inside Novoselic's borders. Alina's uncle became King and since then, he's had to wait for what seemed to be impossible: an eventual reigning Queen, one that would hopefully befriend one of his bloodline and invite them into her nation.

This is why he's instructed his sons not to harm her, to get along with her: he's still holding a grudge lasting hundreds of years. He doesn't want Novoselic just to execute the Adam and Eve program anymore, he simply wants to destroy it.

Vampire AU aka. the one you came here for

Queen Alina, still betrayed, imprisoned, tortured, and abused in a cell beneath Novoselic Castle, was near death when the Council is called away with threat of a breach of the Castle walls. She's left to bleed out and, she assumed, to die slowly and painfully without the truth of the situation coming to light.

It is then that a woman, a member of her lover's retinue, slips into her cell with a look of pity. She'd accompanied the man with the promise of war, of soldiers that wouldn't be missed when she needed to feed, of a lively and changing world that would disrupt her boredom and fill her belly. Sonia had invited the woman in alongside the rest of his party but hadn't known that she was an actual vampire. And she was disgusted by how the young Queen had been controlled by those she was supposed to trust, only to betray and leave her to die because they did not wish to answer to a woman.

So she gave her the choice to not end her life in a cold, dirty cell but with the understanding that she could not return to her throne and the old life she once had. She'd lose her country, but she wouldn't lose her life. And, desperate not to perish that way, Alina agreed and was turned into a vampire herself. Leaving her title, throne, and country behind, she took up the name 'Sonia,' one of the lesser-used names she'd been blessed with at birth, and sought to do the one thing she'd never been able to do before being granted eternal life: explore the world beyond Novoselic's borders.

Which she's now done for centuries: across Europe, to Asia and Africa, and small stints in America (she didn't much care for it). She deeply regrets not being proficient in military combat and strategy, and so she took the years given to her with eternal life to learn, to protect herself, to not be commandeered by anyone ever again. She still has a sociable streak and likes to befriend others, but she's reluctant to open her heart again. After all, doing so led to her being turned into a vampire in the first place. But she has various residences throughout the world, and tends to go wherever her interests take her (and where your muse might be).

This also means that Vampire!Sonia and the Sonia usually featured on this blog can both exist at the same time. Naturally, they look very, very similar, though the former Queen Alina has green eyes while Sonia Nevermind has blue. For the human Sonia, it tends to be awkward whenever she's compared to her failing ancestor: Alina's portraits in the Castle and the National Portrait Gallery have a concerning resemblance, with most disparaging her for her failures to serve the nation well followed by 'at least she was beautiful.'

#more-than-a-princess answered #more-than-a-princess headcanons #madamhatter #Non-Despair AU: Vampire verse #Non-Despair AU: Diabolik Lovers verse #(This took the majority of two days to finally write) #(I've lightly edited it but I'm trying not to overthink it) #(and to reiterate the disclaimer: I'm not looking for critique on this. At all.) #(This is just what I've come up with for now and may edit it later on)

[heropaws]

All I know is make giant lady and lie :)

#I’m hoping to GOD she gets into the RP I applied to …. #I already have a playlist and yet it is over 5 hours long #hollowmoon #wc #warriors #warrior cats #warriors cats oc #warriors oc #warriors art #warrior cats art #wc oc #wc art #wc rp #my oc #furry #furry art #feral furry #heropaws #rp

[ruby-whistler]

@justalads hi, hello! made a new post because didn't want to clog up everything with a suuper long string of reblogs, so i hope you don't mind!

also, i'm sorry to ask you this, but i have trouble focusing - in your next reply, would you maybe mind cutting up the big paragraphs into smaller ones? i'm nd and it's extremely difficult to concentrate at long strings of text like that, which is why i usually cut up everything i say into chunks :]

(actually had to have my friend cut up your last reply because he's a v fast reader, shoutout ani lmao)

anyways, let's continue the debate i say because there's a lot to still talk about in my opinion as well

/dsmp /rp, and of course all /lh

as for the whole was manipulated / wasn't manipulated thing, there's pretty much a divide amongst most people i know whether or not to call it that - but since that word's been misused a lot in this fandom, here is the instance most people are referring to, for you to judge for yourself, in this very (in my opinion) well-written analysis!

since i myself am very confused about the subject but i think it'd be better for you to read that first, i'll just move past that for now i think.

i attached a lot more resources this time because i remembered that a lot of people who agree with me on these things are smarter than me so, sorry for the links you'll have to click through this time but i think it could help me articulate what i actually want to say better.

i don't think i entirely get your point about it "making sense for him to progress like this". i don't know what you mean by 'make sense'. it comes off as 'he was always going to become this way because of the kind of person he was in the beginning' which, i don't agree with in general? because no, you don't just become a bad person, and especially with c!dream i find that this ignores a lot of the things that he went through.

also, i wouldn't say everyone had equal hand in what happened. "a product of his environment" means everything sort of mixed together; the way the world works; a cycle of violence, eye for an eye, and no therapy or communication.

dream's spiral isn't a result of any one character's actions. c!wilbur started the whole big wars and animosity thing, but that's only about 50% of what i'd call "the environment". there's also a lot of personal mistakes and miscommunication mixed in.

so no, i'm not saying it was entirely "other characters"' fault, what i mean is more that they contributed by you know, treating him as the incarnation of all evil, breaking his personal boundaries, overall just no one treating him like they should a person (this is overall their attitude over multiple seasons), etc..

and also another thing i meant to say was that he didn't deserve the abandonment. no one deserves to lose half their friends once (l'manberg when they turned against him for literally no good reason in his eyes), and then watch the ones who were the last remaining and the closest ones he had, leave him one by one because of an image of himself he had no control over, which was started by one and then perpetuated until he became a literal hate magnet. people did hurt c!dream, and he didn't deserve that.

all i'm saying is that i see where he is coming from, and that his spiral wasn't a result of powerhungriness, or cruelty, or any other personal flaw, but it was literally someone who cared about people too much getting driven too far by the circumstances he was put into.

and i think that is my overall statement for now.

you said i was "brushing it off as george being a drama queen" for the whole dethronement scene. i read what you said about it, and i'd like to ask you to once again watch the actual stream.

george literally tried to steal the l'mantree and got assassinated by techno beforehand. i don't see why he would be in any way in the wrong for dream taking away his kingship, and i don't think it is reminiscent of a power dynamic or dream having "higher authority".

dream thinking george can't handle himself is completely justified considering what he did and how he didn't even attempt to stay neutral. he was supposed to be a diplomatic figure who would make sure the dream smp doesn't get into wars, that was the point of pretending to be a monarchy (because the dsmp really just isn't, it's anarchy with a diplomatic representative and an army general).

here's a thread which besides other things mentions things dream did for the two of them, and besides fighting with him in one (george) or two (sapnap) wars they really weren't "loyal to him for a long while" compared to the amount of times he sacrificed things for them.

"have an equal say in things" doesn't apply when one of the three is trying to keep peace and the other two instigate conflict left and right. like i'm sorry but i don't see why dream would owe them a say in the faction he's trying to protect.

dream doesn't think of them as lower. that actually just sounds like guilt-tripping your friend to let you take care of a pet you've poisoned before and he had to rush to the hospital. peace is fragile and these two weren't responsible enough to be given the power to break it.

to say "george didn't want" it was an overstatement. he literally did nothing as a king and he had no control in the first place (because the dream smp doesn't have a government in the first place).

the whole thing about him being sad was for show because c!george is a manipulative prick who takes advantage of his friends for fun. and i don't mean this in a bad way, he's not a bad person for it, he's actually a really fun character more than anything, and he doesn't hurt anyone on purpose - but he's a jerk! he's done it before and now he's doing it again, and he continues to do it (dreamxdcoughcough-)

so no dream was. absolutely not in the wrong here, it wasn't even supposed to be public, george just made a big deal out of it.

the last thread i mentioned also talks about the whole "spirit speech" thing and, answer me a question - would you consider it justified for all of tommy's friends (even tubbo who he's been close with for so long) to abandon him just because he's said basically the same thing about the discs - like three times?

that's just the double standards though. phil and techno are still being hated on for "abandoning" a kid they barely know - and meanwhile dream's been given up on by everyone he's ever cared about before being given a chance, but people try to find ways it's his fault, like it matters.

it doesn't matter, because abandonment hurts you, no matter if the people have good reasons for it or not, and in this case they didn't. the point i'm making is this character has been hurt and has been actively hurting and it's been ignored for bias' sake.

i'm not saying they're bad people for it, or responsible for his actions. some of them are bad people independently (/hj). but they still affected him.

“if respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?” yeah? i don't see the point in this either. interesting to point out that dream learned this the hard way with you know, no one having respect for him as a person and only being able to fight for what he cares about via 'an axe and a shield'.

and no, dream didn't have an arising god complex. he was becoming more desperate for control because of his circumstances over the course of s2, but the god complex only happened in the prison because he had all control of everything (who he gets to talk to, what and when he gets to eat) taken away for months before being shown a smidge of power again. that's just a natural reaction to very messed up circumstances that had no buildup other than that.

the no-remorse thing - he could be remorseful and we wouldn't know. that's not even speculation, that's just saying that pretending to know whether or not he regrets things is a weak argument because we have no evidence for or against; we don't see his pov. that he doesn't show it doesn't say anything, it's a vital part of his character that he doesn't show what he's thinking.

"friends support each other" yes, and none of c!dream's "friends" ever did. it's a contrast with how much support for example tommy, tubbo, or wilbur got. not saying they weren't all abandoned as well, but no one has been alone to the point c!dream was or completely emotionally isolated for so long. his experience in this way is unique, and hence it's formed him in a way it hasn't anyone else.

dream didn't hurt george. he did create a place in the vault for his fish (that would be mars, not beckerson though), and he did do bad things to other people. he had reasons to be upset at someone who he didn't expect to do bad things doing them. it doesn't justify the things he said. it's a lot of explanation vs. justification when it comes to this server, and this is an example of this.

it wasn't a reaction to him being directly hurt by him, which is what you had implied (if i remember correctly) in the last post, and it wasn't right of him to do. also i agree he wasn't betraying him with what he said in prison, he'd done that a long time ago anyways.

"puffy does not dismiss people’s trauma just because they are adults, or if she does i haven’t seen strong evidence of it." jack, nikki and in a way the eggpire. dream is not far behind, but not the main example.

"you point out that she’s a guardian figure but from what i remember that lasted for a couple streams and after that wasn’t really mentioned in canon. if she really saw him like that, then maybe she would have checked up on him earlier and maybe would have told him off."

i'm pretty sure it was canonized by cc!puffy saying c!puffy isn't his biological mom, but that she sees herself as his guardian figure. so yes, she really saw him like that, and yeah, she "would've" checked up on him earlier; or rather "should've", but she didn't, and that's precisely what i'm talking about. that's not how you treat someone you allegedly see as being a guardian of. not saying c!puffy's a bad person, but she's another one c!dream was attached to and who failed to ever reach out to him before deeming him deserving of what he's (was, because admittedly it's gotten worse since) going through.

"she said at one point that he didn’t deserve to see her but she still cared about him."

this is what i mean when i say she has a moral superiority problem. like she's doing something extra by being a decent person. i know this might come across as cynical, and i swear i don't hate the character, but that sentence is very hypocritical, you must admit.

"she did try."

nope! she said she was going to try. that's the problem. i'm not talking about intentions here in the slightest, i'm talking about the actual consequences and effect it had on him as a character and why it's just very sad in my opinion that none of the people he thought were close to him stood by his side or even attempted to help him.

the entire original post was very clearly stated as not blaming most of these characters for acting in the way they did. it was "critical" of a lot of them in a way, but i never said anything negative about them other than describing things they did that had a negative effect.

i stand by that, because i truly believe they did all those things, and them having good intentions or personal feelings doesn't change that. it contextualizes them, but doesn't take away from the harm.

saying "it's not her fault" about puffy for example or that "it was just a reaction" is excusing those things, which is what i disagree with.

here is a thread as to why people like puffy or sapnap saying certain things is understandable but still very messed up, please read since it details parts of what i've said here in an arguably better way.

you also phrased the whole "she didn't abandon him either" part like he was the one who cut the ties which is not true. she wasn't there for him, is the point. another person he cared about who didn't prove to care about him enough to stop him from spiralling or try help at all.

if "they don't owe him anything" is your base argument against someone being hurt via being left by people they care about over and over again until they're utterly alone with no support system and unhealthy mindsets, we might have to agree to disagree :) /nm

please clarify if that wasn't the intention, because it sounds like it.

"i think that how people feel about it depends a lot on when they started watching, and who they were watching. the thing you have to take into consideration is that at the start of l’manburg, a lot of the roleplay was not very serious. the sides were messier than they are today. that doesn’t work or make sense for people who want to see it as only one thing, and are fixed in their ways so much that they’ll ignore canon to prove their point."

i've been watching since august and yeah, i agree. i've always seen c!dream as in the right at that point, so it's definitely different for the people who haven't seen that happen.

"you seem to have a very fixed view of wilbur: that he only wanted power, that he enjoyed tearing people apart, that he lied all the time, and that he was attempting to paint dream as something he wasn’t."

to be fair, you seem to have a very fixated view of wilbur too. i do think he wanted power, but also just to revolt for the sake of it - i don't think he straight up enjoyed it but it was a means to his ends, i don't think he lied all the time but he lied much more than people realize, and i don't think he just attempted, i dare to say he was extremely successful.

"you also see him as conscious of what he was doing the entire time, and sort of treating the war like a game."

i'd say a story or narrative is a much more fitting metaphor. also yeah he's so much smarter than people give him credit for, but i guess covering it up was intentional as well, because manipulation ain't meant to be obvious at first sight now is it? like for example c!dream, that man was awful at it. he's just. so bad. unironically. he did cause a lot of harm, not diminishing that, but man. his manipulation is the clumsiest thing i've ever seen, people calling him a puppeteer is such an overstatement, it's really funny to me.

now c!wilbur? he was really good at it. that's what i mean by "you need more than intelligence", because emotions are stronger than critical thinking and can be exploited easier. all the sentimentality around l'manberg is a great example.

"wilbur didn’t go around trying to recruit people by saying “dream is bad”." yeah no he started by straight up lying to fundy when they first met (if you rewatch the hot dog van video, there's really no denying that), then he lied some more to tubbo while praising him every time he followed his orders, i don't completely remember eret's recruitment, and tommy looked up to him since the beginning, and it's very easy to see that c!wil took advantage of that.

he did tell people they needed to revolt against tyranny though, that's precisely what he did and how he got them to side with him in the war. by tyranny he meant everyone in the server who wasn't european, picking dream as the scapegoat since he had the most power (not by establishing it in any way, but simply by being skilled) and it was smart to do that, not gonna lie!

"weak businessman" is just not true. he was planning to "use the tommyinnits of the world" aka, the "young and naive" (his words, not mine) ones whom he could "mold", in order to establish a capitalist empire based on stealing from people while lying to them about saving them from being sick.

this man was planning to take power from the start and he was going to use lies to get what he needed. from the beginning i have no reason to believe why he would change his goals when he proceeded to do that very thing and achieve it, just put "revolution" instead of "business" as a guise of what he was actually doing.

"you quoted revivedbur’s stream as proof it was, which is funny because despite saying wilbur is someone who lies you missed a kind of big one." yeah, as someone who mentioned people ignoring canon earlier you missed kind of a big one.

the only reason people disbelieve this is not because it doesn't align with canon, but because they assume he's lying for the sole reason that it doesn't align with the way they see canon.

the reason i believe it is not because i believe a word c!wilbur says (i never have and never will), but because it aligns with what actual evidence has been saying from the start, as well as the way cc!wilbur talks about the character. it's simply further confirmation of what many people already knew; an extension even, if you will.

people tend to take things characters say at face value and then use it as their only evidence; "if you want to hear why l’manburg was created, you have to listen to wilbur when he created it."

what they actually ignore is you know, the actions, not the words. according to his actions and all known laws of logic, he was lying since the beginning, and that is the point. and it makes sense for him to lie, unlike in alivebur's case.

"i say he cared about l’manburg because it drove him to death."

yeah he did care! cc!wilbur said so! he also said he cared about it in a twisted way and that he had an unhealthy view of possessions. he thought l'manberg his and no one else's, a weapon of power for him to use however he pleases.

unlike dream who destroyed himself bit by bit trying to take back what he cares about, because it was not power, but people - wilbur saw no more worth in it and destroyed it instead. his own death and spiral was a collateral, because that isn't a healthy mindset either.

interesting foils, actually, i didn't notice that before.

"the whole time wilbur was attempting to portray a character who was a chronic liar and manipulator, and it was all planned out from the start. purely because of the chaos of season one i don’t think this is possible."

i reckon you're underestimating cc!wilbur here. that man could play a convincing, complex, morally messed up character while roleplaying with kindergarteners.

"and, you know, if he’s saying “dream is not our enemy” that hardly sounds like forcing a narrative onto him?" i mean i don't think i need to give evidence as to wilbur calling him a tyrant right after. i was just talking about how hypocritical and downright ridiculous his later accusations are, which you didn't address.

"because what he’s saying is that dream’s actions are tyrannical, his rule is tyrannical, not him." no actually, he said right after; 'big words, that's what we use in war', about calling him that, so i don't reckon that is the case. he was calling him that for the sake of it, and later on everyone ended up believing him about that despite there being no evidence. i must admit, the man's very good at what he does. he constantly changes the narrative to whatever benefits him and somehow gets away unnoticed. that was my point.

dream didn't tell sapnap it was a bad idea because it wasn't...? wilbur was going around stealing from people while lying to them. wil was framing himself to be the victim. like the whole "drugs" bit was funny but wilbur was only making drugs to estabilish, once again, a capitalistic empire he would be in charge of, on dream's land, and he was also doing it via dishonest means.

the intentions never changed, it was simply the way it was achieved that did, which switched from just lying to straight up propaganda when people managed to stop him at first.

so yes, wilbur's definition of tyranny very much was being stopped from stealing.

so yeah, even if dream would've done the same to them, he a hundred percent would be in the right, but he didn't even do that much, which makes wil's accusations all the more ridiculous.

just because sapnap was fighting against being stolen from - and others being stolen from - doesn't make him tyrannical or a government. your teacher in school isn't a government just because she has authority of some kind?

"wilbur’s problem was that sapnap could do that and get away with it." well then that's his problem, because people should be able to get away with protecting themselves and others from people trying to rob everyone on the server of a specific item and then gain power from selling rare supplies.

also it was sapnap and tubbo, they both did the same thing, and wilbur didn't seem to have that much of a problem with tubbo, now did he? he accepted him right after he gave them supplies, then rejected sapnap when he did the same. the people he was accusing of being tyrannical were very selective, and he seemed to be also selectively choosing whoever he was "protecting" from said "tyranny". though i guess "using the tommyinnits of the server" also included using tubbo, now didn't it?

"i highly, highly doubt that was what it was written as at the time."

yeah, dream did quote the lion king, but that doesn't change the way that it was anarchy. dream's "no factions" thing he had going on also included no government by default, showcased by him having problems with people starting countries. if it wasn't anarchy, what was it then? because that's literally the only thing that fits. there was no government and even dream described it as a "family" rather than any form of hierarchy, so i don't get your point. some people are going to have better things than others, and they'll be able to protect themselves and others better, but there is no system in place, that's literally how anarchy works. their mock court with no actual laws enforced by no one doesn't count i don't think.

the fact they thought they had a reason to attack her doesn't change the fact that they attacked first, so dream had all the reasons to believe they were aggressive and was fully justified in declaring war. this makes the statement "dream attacked first" untrue as well.

wilbur knew what he was doing, he knew he was going to scam people for power. if he thought he was being mistreated he could just stop trying to mistreat others.

i do agree it became a lot of other things for other people. i think that's one of the reasons wilbur destroyed it though; it was supposed to be his l'manberg.

if the power was supposed to "let him do what he wanted" then that's quite ironic considering what he wanted was power (you know, the reason he started the drug empire in the first place), not because he wanted to "make drugs undisturbed". that is quite literally an obvious lie he used when they first started and somehow people have totally forgotten that was not the truth.

"he didn't want power over others" cc!wilbur said he wanted to have power over l'manberg because he thought it was something worth having power over. if you consider l'manberg the people, then your statement would be untrue. then again, maybe he simply wanted to have something be fully his because of his possessive nature.

"he would lie about his past actions out of a place of self hatred." is just. reaching, with all due respect. this man might be mentally unstable, but that makes literally no sense when the day before he was saying how he had "plans to make". he thinks ahead, always.

"what if one person wants the “freedom” to attack another? it’s still technically allowed, but obviously it’s morally wrong." yeah that's what i mean by not infringing on the rights of others. in that case they shouldn't have that freedom, just like wilbur shouldn't have the freedom to restrict others' freedom.

also i see the whole "words" schtick as manipulation because it was. they said they "fought with words", like that doesn't sound like a peaceful solution, more like a different approach, and it was because that is what they did.

other people believed in the ideals of l'manberg and they protected it for good reasons, but that doesn't change the fact it was build on lies by a liar and it did exactly what it was meant to do - it divided people.

i actually talk about it in this post here!

"wilbur was saying that he wanted to create something important." nope, the quote continues something like "make them think it's important because you want to have power over it, when it's not." here's the link to the whole clip.

"wilbur showed in the first war that that wasn’t his main motive" i've already said why i find this misinformation. he said it, he didn't show it, and that is because it isn't true.

the "something worth" part is just. taking things out of context to the point they're something completely different. yes, it was worth something to wilbur, and that worth was power. that's literally what that means.

the greater smp did represent anarchy and peace. that were the ideals c!dream was fighting for, and still was later on, that much was obvious if you look deeper into his character, so i'm not going to argue, other than that based on the information i have, it's incorrect.

"someone who wanted peace at the start and someone who tried to protect the thing and people he loved." see you tell me you didn't fall for propaganda and then say this. the thing he loved was his own personal power, and that was the end of it. if he wanted peace he wouldn't be starting factions and accusing people of being tyrannical while he himself was trying to estabilish an empire. i'm not saying he's an awful person, they're all morally grey, but that's just what all the actual evidence points to.

"your view shows him as lying about practically everything to everyone all the time, never caring about the citizens, and striving for conflict."

again, i don't believe he liked conflict for its own sake, but he did create division for his own benefit the way i see it.

yeah wilbur said it genuinely to tubbo when he first brought him armor; when the rule was first established. here's the post where i found it.

wilbur was never a dictator because people didn't listen to him, which is why he did the whole election thing, with his other plan than a democratic election with no democracy being this:

Wilbur: “We can either, Tommy, right – we can either become a dictatorship, okay…we can just suddenly decide, ‘right, we’re in charge,’ and we just start – we start asserting our dominance. Now the key thing to being a dictator, is we need to control the center of power…so we get an army going –”

Tommy: “What is the center of power? Is it like some cube, or like an orb?”

Wilbur: “The army! The army! The banks, you know? We take control of those, and then people will do exactly as we say, right? That’s the dictatorship route, right. The other route is the democracy route. Now, this route’s gonna be slightly harder, but I have a plan. So I was thinking…what better way of making people believe that you’re in charge than by having them vote for you, right?”

so uh, i wouldn't be so quick to say he didn't plan on being oppressive to his people. he was literally planning to start an army and take total control of the economy to "assert dominance" over his own people -because he didn't think they respected his authority enough and was irritated by it - but instead defaulted to lies and manipulation of the crowd. you see a pattern already?

"the feelings of l’manburg were more like friends than a hierarchy even though he was technically in charge." this is the thing with dream though, except there was. actually no hierarchy. the original dream smp was this but actually true instead of just being a front. no one actually needed l'manberg, wilbur made them think they did. tubbo and sapnap used to be friends before this. the friendships inside of it could've existed without, and would've probably been better off without being stained by war.

wilbur didn't fear for anyone's safety, and i don't get where you would get that conclusion. the dream smp was already safe, people like dream and sapnap were making it safe.

"people that were already in l’manburg had been affected firsthand by dream. they knew what he was capable of and so were fighting for l’manburg and each other, not because wilbur told them to." i don't find this true at all, please elaborate because i have reasons to believe this is incorrect.

the quote you’ve listed is very interesting to me, because it first of all shows dream’s “ends justify the means” mentality (that is also shown in an explanation of his motives during moments like this, which happened after the war), as well as trying to end the war as soon as he could.

the dream smp was freedom. the freedom wilbur was asking for was the freedom to take the land, take the people dream considered his friends, divide them and create a government.

wilbur was verbally aggressive with dream since the beginning, back when he was cocky. this only shows that dream was one of the few people who didn’t fall for his words. his main point in his motivation during the war was not wanting to give them independence, which would be, well, giving wilbur power over the land *and* the people. so i think from his position this is extremely understandable.

but back to the topic at hand, wilbur’s speech here means literally nothing, because it’s as untrue as everything he’s said before - in both intention and meaning - as well as being a last attempt at turning the situation in his favor using words. he said he was a peaceful businessman back when he was robbing people, and not like that meant anything when his actions said otherwise. both sides had their losses and were ready to harm the other, neither was the victim, no matter how good wil is at playing one.

dream was giving them chances over and over again. you can literally see he wasn’t hurting them because he wanted to, even despite it being war he was willing to step away at any moment should the other side surrender. and, well, of course dream’s perspective wouldn’t mean anything to wilbur, because he had his own, and he knew no one was going to believe dream anyways; he made sure of it.

i’m not saying he wanted violence, but that doesn’t mean he was good or pacifistic. he was *ready* to be violent if needed (see the armor quote again as well as the fact they literally fought), but i too would be happy if i was able to to colonize someone’s land without any resistance or conflict if you know what i mean. guess wilbur realized rather quickly words wouldn’t work on dream, which is why he got verbally violent and didn’t seem opposed to fighting him later on (during the actual war).

reminds me of exile, in a way. can’t get them to listen to you and give you what you want? get them out of the way in a different manner.

either way, point is; i’m sure wilbur didn’t want to fight, i don’t think him a fan of violence *at all* but he was the instigator and was ready to perpetuate war to get what he wanted. (see him also being willing to make an army to control his citizens, but using underhanded tactics instead to make people think they were voting for him.)

the whole “dream attacked the child soldiers and was always the one to start it” is quickly negated by the way dream constantly asked them to give up instead of fighting. it was literally wilbur who pushed them to go on and risk (and lose) their lives. dream’s said later on that he “had to” do what he did (he was being genuine here), which means he, in a way, felt responsible for stopping wilbur & l’manberg. he didn’t want to be violent, but unlike wilbur, he wasn’t going to be able to talk them out of it. it makes sense he would turn to threats and intimidation to try and get them to surrender first, i mean, what other choice was there?

l’manberg weren’t the ones forced to fight, is what i’m getting at.

dream wasn’t any more violent than wilbur, it’s just wil was better at non-violent, but still morally reprehensible, ways of getting his way, and he used them to his full advantage. neither of them wanted violence for the sake of it, and i never said that; i just said wilbur’s “pacifist” schtick was a total ruse, and never meant anything about his actual “peacefulness”, which i still find true.

as for the whole “manipulated or didn’t manipulate” thing with the vassal scene, the first link i sent here i think describes my stance quite well. but it’s very interesting to note that there’s a theory wilbur legitimately thinks dream selfish, which is why he said that - either way, the effect remains, dream was essentially shut down after trying to gain back people’s trust and help out who he considered the “good side”.

dream was very obviously making efforts, giving tommy and techno as well as the pogtopia cause as a whole a whole lot of supplies, including his crossbow which he had a personal attachment to. he expressed outwardly that he was on their side, to the point where he refused to call l’manberg “manberg” and then was caught off-guard when wilbur called it that during the vassal conversation.

dream was attached to tommy, as shown by fighting for him during the eiffel tower conflict, and also helping him overall. their relationship was always very interesting, but after the l’manberg war, their friendship never really changed - tommy scammed the discs back, that had at that point legally belonged to dream, but he didn’t seem to hold even that against him as he tried to help get back l’manberg with him. they were the sort of friends who would tease each other to hell an back and fight on the battlefield each other but still have friendly vibes… you know what i mean?

i think this is why exile hurt so much, to me. that i believe they had genuinely been friends once, before it went downhill at a hella steep inclide. but enough me rambling about what had once been my comfort duo and is now utterly unsalvageable.

either way, he was attached to the people involved, because a lot of the character strongly indicates he has a sense of responsibility (not control) over the people on his smp. it’s the reason he’d always get involved in conflicts other people started, like pogtopia.

his fatal flaw has always been caring too much after all - and not being cared about back, because sometimes, that’s just how life works. that’s what destroyed him. that’s literally the character, so saying he “could’ve just walked away” is dismissing pretty much his entire personality, but hey, i don’t blame you, just pointing it out.

the thing is wilbur did force him to make a terribly hard decision. dream could either give him the tnt, ally with the self-proclaimed bad guys, or let wilbur get back his power and go mad with ambition - not saying it would happen, but it’s what wilbur threatened to do. keep in mind dream’s main concerns about this whole conflict was schlatt going to war with the dream smp, as expressed by himself, and so wilbur saying he would genuinely do the same if he became president again was literally backing dream up into a corner.

“if dream thought wilbur was being a villain”

Wilbur: How much would you say that me and Tommy are kind of the bad guys here? We… We… I mean, we-

Dream: I don’t think you guys are the bad guys.

i… don’t know where you got that from, maybe you misunderstood something i said, but no, he definitely didn’t. until wilbur convinced him, that is.

“i’m also going to say that “villainization” and “calling out someone for hurting you” are not the same thing.”

yeah, they are. and dream was villainized.

so uh, first of all, wilbur literally said he was going to “use the tommyinnits of the world” in order to establish his capitalistic empire, then he called tommy “young”, “naïve”, and said that he likes him because he can build a foundation upon him, after which tommy questioned him and he said not to worry about it.

wilbur proceeded to lie to everyone including tommy about dream, the country he was establishing, to the point where tommy is seen confused in both the vassal scene and the revivedbur scene - asking why he would ally himself with dream both times, because he genuinely thought he was a bad person, a “dictator” they were fighting against.

wilbur didn’t reply either time, because he knew very well what he had done and he intended for tommy to think that.

during the entirely establishment he was exploiting the clingyduo not knowing anything about politics in order to enforce unhealthy patriotism onto them. he forced tommy to give up his hill-house and turn it into an embassy, guilt-tripping him by saying he doesn’t care about the cause (which was a lie) and that he can just leave if he doesn’t intend on being loyal.

and then there’s this scene:

Tommy: “Look at me in the eyes when I’m talking to you – There’s been some proper tyranny.”

[Wilbur pushes Tommy off the wall]

Wilbur: “Don’t tell me what to do, alright? You’re getting out of your comfort zone. Who’s the President? Tommy, who’s the President?”

Tommy: “How dare you, how dare you, you must respect manners, Wilbur! There are manners! There is a common etiquette that everyone must follow, my friend!”

Wilbur: “Tommy, who’s the President?”

Tommy: “…You’re the President.”

Wilbur: “Good lad, now come back.”

Tommy: “I – you’re gonna have to drop down a ladder, I’m not sure how we’re gonna –”

Wilbur: “Walk ‘round, walk ‘round, Mr. Vice President.”

and this is just before pogtopia. after this, wilbur proceeded to continue this kind of behaviour on tommy, with the whole “you’re never gonna be president” schtick - here we can see it actually didn’t start in pogtopia. wilbur had been pushing tommy down before in order to estabilish his own power and demand respect.

basically, tommy has been used by every adult figure he’s ever trusted and looked up to. which is part of why wilbur’s behaviour being ignored irks me so much, besides other things.

“when he was faced with a problem, he went for someone’s attachments as an attempt to get things back, and at this point hadn’t been called a villain. i see this as another precursor to the vault, again, the signs were there. the initial conflict of the disk war ended in general peace, it was the fact that dream never gave up those disks and continued to try and use them against tommy that hurt him.”

i disagree with this analysis of dream. he went for the discs because they were physically valuable at the time - tommy had only two, and he grinded hours for them, much like dream for his tools and armor. tommy formed an attachment to them as a result of the disc war, not the other way around.

he continued to use them for their attachment to get back l’manberg and then forcibly getting them back when the chance was provided.

dream didn’t use them once against c!tommy before he himself multiple times showcased how much he cared about them despite there being other discs at that point. dream only used them as placebo tokens to skeppy in order to get back something he was actually attached to, if i remember correctly.

dream fell deeper into using attachment because it became the only way to control his surroundings. no one had ever actually listened to him, and groups of people that had formed were too powerful for him to simply take on without reprocussions.

not only that, he became to lose control of everything - his friend’s house got burnt down and he wanted the person who did it to be held accountable? the leather of his dead horse got used to blackmail him! he was taught this from experience, not because he was “high on the power” or whatever your are implying was the reason.

“when he had then seen that dream would willingly hurt him, he began to call dream that and mean it.” he was taught dream to call dream a tyrant by wilbur, that’s literally what happened in canon. he did genuinely think he was a villain before the war, because that’s what wilbur told him and he trusted wilbur.

i am not taking everything wilbur says as truth. that man lies his mouth off every time he appears on screen. it’s just a character acknowledging what people who looked deeper into the narrative already knew. i’m not going to assume someone is lying when i logically know what he’s saying matches up with what i know to be true.

either way, here’s some more analyses on the subject you might wanna read to understand my points better and be able to more thoroughly rebut them: (1, 2, 3)

“with the sam thing, i am fairly certain that intentional withholding of food would be considered direct torture, and if that has not been retconned i would be surprised, but i don’t know.”

i… am genuinely sort of baffled at why you would think that? the prison arc is literally made to be about c!sam’s corruption, the mistreatment of dream (including mental and physical abuse) and c!quackity’s manipulation of the situation of his own gain. there is no reason to retcon the torture they put in on purpose? the prison arc is supposed to parallel exile and humanize dream. the people who have been analysing it all agree on that.

here’s a shorter (and outdated) list of the ways in which pandora’s is inhumane and here’s a longer one including things implied and more in-depth about c!sam and c!dream.

“the conditions are harsh and it’s interesting to remember that dream was the one who commissioned them in the first place (not meaning he deserves them, just food for thought)”

no, take your food back, i have heard this as a genuine excuse too many times by now. c!dream didn’t tell c!sam to physically and mentally abuse him. in fact he said that people would only be put in the main cell for 14 days max (the maximum amount of days before it becomes classified as torture by the united nations - man’s did his research), and they would have free reign of the prison. there have even been changes to the way the cell works since he’s been put in. he wasn’t going to subject anyone to the sort of thing he’s going through.

the only reason it’s happening to him is because people hate him and want him to suffer. the people of the server put him there because they thought they could use him later on, it’s a literal vault for a human being to be stored for later use, and it’s disgusting. people didn’t want him in the prison. they didn’t put him there to protect themselves. they were fully willing to kill him, and the only reason he is still alive is that they thought of him as an item and wanted to use his capabilities. (dream also buying into it, as he does with everything this godforsaken narrative enforces upon him, “i am the book”.)

i know it’s roleplay, but i’m emotionally invested in this arc, and it’s just so incredibly dark on purpose which people seem to ignore, so sorry for ranting.

“you say that you never said sam molded him into what he became, but you accuse the people of affecting dream and therefore forcing him into the role of the villain. i feel as if that is a type of molding?”

i’m saying no one molded dream on purpose, but what they all did (or should’ve done but didn’t) affected him in a very negative way nonetheless and should be acknowledged.

also, calling dream a monster or standing by while he gets ruthlessly murdered after following all orders and putting away all his armor and weapons isn’t very helpful of them.

“you saw it as skeppy “twisting his words”. this seems to be an example of someone calling dream on his crap, yeah? just because he’s twisting to defend himself doesn’t mean the other person is trying to make him be something he doesn’t want to be, it means that he’s uncomfortable or unable to deal with confrontation of his own acts and will attempt to justify them.”

no. i made an entire analysis of their interaction. that’s literally what he did, there is no softening that punch.

Dream: Anyway, um - you’re really making me out to be a bad guy! Like-

Dream: Look, we HAD to fight that war, okay? We had to fight that war, it was a necessary evil.

Skeppy: [Wheezes] No, it w- You’re telling me, you started the war too?

Dream: Yes! Because - listen-

Skeppy: You started it? It wasn’t even them, you started it-

Dream: Listen, they - they made a Declaration of Independence-

Skeppy: You one day woke up and said, “they don’t deserve that tiny piece of land”?

Dream: Well no, cause they made, they made a-

Skeppy: That’s literally what happened, one day you woke up and you said-

he continuously cuts him off while dream nervously expresses his discomfort over skeppy making him out to be the villain, and his refusal to listen. here’s my analysis of the interaction if you’d like to read it.

“i think it’s unfair to say that nobody tried to help him. people still treated him with respect and kindness for a long time and with those bonds it was ultimately him that cut them.”

no. name one bond that he cut first. george and sapnap? they left him first. sam, puffy, punz? he wasn’t as close with them, but he didn’t cut any of them off before they showed up during the disc finale ready to kill him. if that doesn’t count as them cutting attachments or abandoning him then i… don’t really know what you would call it?

“it feels a little victim-blamey to say that if only they had treated the guy hurting them better, maybe he wouldn’t have hurt them as much.” “you do say that dream is responsible for his actions, but you place the reason he did his actions on other people, effectively blaming them for how he turned out. this rubs me the wrong way because a lot of the people you accuse of doing this were people directly being harmed by him, and so it ends up sounding like they’re at fault for their own pain.”

well, it’s true, though? he was hurt and abandoned to the point when he didn’t care about hurting others anymore. that’s it. that’s his character arc. it’s not “victim-blamey”, it’s a fact. just because he ended up hurting people doesn’t negate the fact he was hurt himself first. the environment they all were a part of pushed him this far, and that’s just what happened.

the dream smp is a literal cycle of violence perpetuated by each and every one of them, and it’s awful for all of them. the problem is that they refuse to see things from others’ perspective and end up hurting each other as a result, which dream is a prime example of. that’s just the plot of the story, not victim-blaming anyone.

see the second to last line of my original post. “the entire dream smp is absolutely screwed, and every single one of them needs therapy.”

here’s another thread about that, actually!

i’m blaming the environment which includes the actions (which were often - not always - unintentional mistakes) of the individuals, i’m not saying they “brought this upon themselves” or anything of that sort. everyone makes mistakes and those mistakes might affect other people and how they act, but that’s not saying i’m blaming anyone for being hurt?

“sapnap still considered him a good guy up until the moment that he saw the space for beckerson in the vault.”

see you keep bringing this up but that doesn’t make sense at all. sapnap came into the vault before he saw that. he made the conscious decision to ally himself with tommy during doomsday before he saw that. he accused dream of not caring about him and george, and left to make his own country before he saw that. you get the point?

the vault was the direct consequence of the hurt he’d endured, so i don’t see why you would ever list it as a reason for people abandoning him? the prison is just them continuing it, although at this point they might have actual reasons, it doesn’t negate the fact that they ignore his bad conditions and even perpetuate them.

“dream was not alone until he chose to be alone. it was tragic that he chose that, but it was ultimately his choice and this is evidenced by the vault.”

people do not decide to isolate themselves for no reason. people started cutting him off first, they turned against him first, they made him the villain first, they used what he loved against him first, they told him he couldn’t ever achieve peace first. he only cut himself off only after all of that happened, and i would’ve done the same! you would’ve done the same. it was a defence mechanism that only sent him deeper down his mental spiral, but it was a reaction, not a decision he made. the vault is a physical embodiment of how deep down he went and how bad his state of mind had gotten overtime through neglect.

also, you might wanna give the vault vod a rewatch as well, and then tell me the person saying those things is mentally healthy and definitely doesn’t need help.

oh! also, a thread on attachment about dream. worth a read.

just because a response is an overreaction or wrong doesn’t make it any less of a response. nearly all of the things dream did was a reaction of some sort.

he lists his reason for starting the war as them declaring independence, so i don’t think it really matters when the official document was sent.

“he also initiated the final disk conflict, with the clear intention of murdering tubbo and putting tommy in the prison as a sort of thing for his amusement. he said multiple times that he found the struggle with tommy “fun”, and said their fight wasn’t over because he personally found it engaging to torment another person, and that was how he got power.”

oh yeah, that definitely seems like something the guy who’s only ever listed his reasons as being peace and has been mentally declining ever since would be completely honest about in front of his biggest enemy. /s

the thing is, the way dream behaves in front of tommy is starkly different than everyone else. c!dream sees him as the “hero” and himself as the “villain”, which is why the pushing of the narrative on his part is so strong when they interact.

besides, so many things he says simply don’t match up at all.

basically, he is very obviously playing a part when he says things like this. nothing he says like that matches up with anything else about his character, and that’s the only explanation. besides, this man’s evil monologues are straight out of a “how to be a scary villain” book.

no discredit to cc!dream of course, but it’s like that intentionally. cc!dream has said after this that c!dream is “reserved” not only about his feelings but also about his “plans” and “intentions”. that quite doesn’t match up with what he yells at the top of his lungs during that scene, now does it? his mask’s very convincing, to be fair, so i don’t blame you. he’s gotten good at playing his part over the years, which makes sense seeing as it was always expected of him, and other people would talk for him if he didn’t do it himself.

“there are a lot of conflicts that dream has started.”

...alright? list any other ones besides the last one?

“buying his line of “only caring about unity” and “trying to prevent chaos” … he uses this many times as an excuse for his actions, and the fact that he was still excusing and justifying his actions makes me think that he still genuinely believed he was right.”

well yes, because he does believe that. he uses the excuse because it’s true. the justification isn’t right of course, but he is not lying when he says those are his motivations, which is backed up by his prior explanations as well as actions. i am not buying anything, it’s what’s become evident from analysing him that that is what he wants to achieve. it doesn’t excuse anything, but saying that’s truly his end goal isn’t incorrect.

becoming a control freak as a result of feeling the loss of control over your own circumstances isn’t equal to dehumanizing the people you’re trying to control.

he didn’t ever take george’s personal freedom. he didn’t start using attachments because he thought it was convenient. i have literally no idea where you’re getting these claims from.

“dream’s actions during exile and the vault do not look like those of a man who is trying to get better but thinks he “has” to be something. honestly, it looks like a guy on a power trip who thinks he’s god and is going to try and prove it.”

both of those are wild misinterpretation of the character. which is understandable seeing as you’ve said already you never tried to look deeper into him, but it’s incorrect nonetheless.

he was trying to get better up until the 16th, which is when the bad things that happened to him stopped going up and instead went downhill, like, really fast. alright, that metaphor probably makes no sense, but you get the point. he had stopped trying at the point of exile, is the point. but he also does think he has to be something in order to “fix” his home.

he wasn’t on a power trip at all, he didn’t have a god complex up until the prison stripped him of all his dignity and then threw an opportunity at him, and he wasn’t trying to prove anything to anyone. that’s an easily debunkable assumption, but, well, guess it’s easy to make.

“there is a clip in which dream says he doesn’t really care how others see him and he doesn’t care if they think he’s bad.” yeah, i know he said that a couple of times. that’s him going numb after he was affected by how others saw him for way too long, which is completely natural. again, a psychological defence mechanism. him saying that he doesn’t mind others calling him a villain or a monster and even seems to agree that his methods are villainous but has just stopped caring makes the situation all the more messed up. makes the character all the more tragic.

“it requires dream to be lying about how he feels all the time. not technically impossible, because he does not talk about emotions.” he is emotionally repressed. it’s not just “not technically impossible”, it’s likely and fits perfectly into his character arc in canon.

“and if a writer is telling their story in a way that only makes sense if you disregard everything they say, i feel like it’s not very good storytelling, unless that is the entire point and the character is based on that.”

see, you get the point here. cc!wilbur is literally the man with an arg around him that has still not been solved. why would he hand us everything on a silver platter? why would he not force us to dig deeper and look beneath what is widely accepted? he literally talks about unreliable narrators constantly poking fun at how the audience seems to take things the characters say at face value, and i’d say early c!wilbur is a prime example of that. it is good storytelling because cc!wilbur pulls it off brilliantly.

it’s also called “the metanarrative”, which is a giant focus of the dream smp if you look closer, especially during the time cc!wilbur has been writing it, especially the establishment of l’manberg where he constantly talks hypocritically on purpose (he said something along the lines of “dream, you can’t just come onto someone’s land and take it for yourself, are you an idiot?” during the early days along with other things e. g. blatant trump references “we’ll build a wall and make the mexicans pay for it”, which i find hilarious) and you know what, good for him. people not being able to tell things go deeper than their feelings is, you know, valid, but also fun to watch, and cc!wilbur’s a controlled chaotic crimeboy.

“people stood by dream. people helped him.” none of them did that for long. “dream still had a system up until the moment he isolated himself” his main support system left by themselves.

i think you’re sort of purposefully discarding a lot of things and misinterpreting the character. it also seems you’re strongly biased against c!dream, which, to be fair, the majority of the fandom is.

look, i don’t want to attack your feelings about characters. you think what you want. but i’m basing my assumptions on evidence and also try to bring up evidence when i think people are misunderstanding because i believe it’s important to know the full truth. however, i understand the desire to not change your opinions if you feel attached to your current perspective - it's a piece of entertainment, you enjoy it the way you want to. you asked about it first though, so i’m giving you my opinion. we can stop at any time if you feel like we’re not getting anywhere, i’m completely fine with that.

i don’t want to seem aggressive, but i feel like at some points we’re just going in circles. would you consider talking over discord chat (better at writing longer messages than tumblr messages) so we can tackle each problem individually in real-time? no worries if you don’t, just thought it could work rather well to get somewhere in our discussion.

also, sorry for the surely numerous typos in this reply. i didn't have the mental energy to go back and proofread.

either way, have a nice day.

#discourse #long post #c!wilbur critical #c!sam critical

[songsofacagedbird]

you’re something out of a dream

a love letter to luxor’s balo driskell

While I think tissues are needed at this point for all three of these playlists, can I just say with Balo’s I think they’re especially needed? Maybe I’m just extra soft for Balo in general but hers personally made me the most emotional, she definitely went hard with this one. Anyway, it covers the entire Luxor timeline for her just about, major plot points and stuff, but a bit less so the reveal of her main secret that occurred during graduation honestly - as this playlist was made before that and given it took me ages to perfect the end, I’m just going to leave it be. 

Again, there’s references to other muses / plot points littered throughout, as well as references to eating disorders and a couple nicer things like her love for art. I’d also like to thank Lex for her help during these playlists, from the idea itself to helping me test listen yet again, this is going to be a pattern in these descriptions and I’m sorry for anyone who like “Katie stfu” already but genuinely it’s really thanks to her that these even exist and honestly they’re actually some of the playlists I am most proud of to date.

Please keep in mind that the standard Balo triggers apply (mental health, eating disorders, abuse / child abuse). Any additional tws will be noted on their sections if they apply.

in dreams you will lose your heartaches. whatever you wish for, you keep | pre-luxor (aka pre-rp):

balo before luxor, navigating her life

Song of the Caged Bird (Lindsey Stirling) [ instrumental ] // Castle On A Cloud (Isabelle Allen) [ I know a place where no ones lost. I know a place where no one cries. Crying at all is not allowed, not in my castle on a cloud. ] // Paint the Pictures (of Verona) [ I paint the picture of the oceans I'll never see. I hold a candle through the darkness so I believe. ] // almost home (mxmtoon) [ No one ever says all the love you give might not be enough. Broke my heart in two a couple times before it hurt too much. ] // A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes (Lily James) [ Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing the dream that you wish will come true. ]

does it hurt to see how our smiles have changed, my friend? | summer & fall 2019:

the period of time I was playing Balo in Luxor originally, from June 2019 right up until her intervention in October

Friends In The Corner (Foxes) [ Do you need someone? Everybody's looking like they need someone. All of my friends in the corner, everybody's looking like they need someone. Pretending we don't fear the morning. ] // Scars To Your Beautiful (Alessia Cara) [ She says, “beauty is pain and there's beauty in everything. What's a little bit of hunger? I could go a little while longer,” she fades away. ] // Never Gonna Let You Down (Colbie Caillat) [ I'm never gonna let you down, I'm always gonna build you up. When you're feeling lost, I will always find you, love. ] // Running with the Wolves (AURORA) [ There's blood on your lies, the scars open wide. There is nowhere for you to hide, the hunter's moon is shinin'. ] // She Is the Sunlight (Trading Yesterday) [ And it will take this life of regret for my heart to learn to forget. Tomorrow will be as it always has been, and I will fall to her again. ]

you keep trying to get inside my head while i keep trying to lose the words you said | winter 2019 & early Spring 2020:

Balo’s hospitalization, and the time at home following it.

All the King's Horses (Karmina) [ Is it still a home when you're all alone? All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put me back together again. ] // Safe (Britt Nicole) [ Oh no, my walls are gonna break. So close, it's more than I can take. I'm so tired of turning and running away. ] // Lost Boy (Ruth B.) [ There was a time when I was alone, no where to go and no place to call home. My only friend was the man in the moon, and even sometimes he would go away too. ] // Keep Your Head Up (Ben Howard) [ 'Cause I'll always remember you the same, eyes like wild flowers with your demons of change. ] // Wake Me Up (Madilyn Bailey) [ They tell me I'm too young to understand. They say I'm caught up in a dream. My life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes, well that's fine by me. ] // Dance (Foxes) [ I want you, got no shame. This therapy's gone to waste; when the midnight hour comes in vain, you're in my head, you say my name. ]

what the fuck are perfect places anyway? | spring 2020:

Balo’s return to Luxor, leading up to her breakdown at prom additional tws: drugs and alcohol (perfect places)

Good Day for Dreaming (Ruelle) [ There's a hope, there's a spark, there's a fire. There's a light in the dark burning brighter. It's a good day for dreaming. ] // Perfect Places (Lorde) [ All of our heroes fading, now I can't stand to be alone. Let's go to perfect places! ] // prom dress (mxmtoon) [ I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress. I'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest. Makeup is running down, feelings are all around. How did I get here? I need to know... ]

i would sell my sorry soul if i could have it all | summer 2020:

summer camp adventures, and the starts of questioning who she is

Live Life (Zayde Wølf) [ Sometimes I think that I'm the dreamer, the one that's standing all alone. Sometimes it feels like it's forever since I've truly felt at home. ] // Celeste (Ezra Vine) [ You're something out of a dream, messing with my head and I've been looking for you. Are you hiding? ] // The State of Dreaming (MARINA) [ If only you knew my dear, how I live my life in fear. ] // If Only (Dove Cameron) [ If only I knew what my heart was telling me. Don't know what I'm feeling; is this just a dream? If only I could read the signs in front of me, I could find the way to who I'm meant to be. ]

my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with | fall & winter 2020:

balo’s disownment, her breakup with kitty, and coming to terms with them

raindrops {an angel cried} (Ariana Grande) [ The day you left me, an angel cried. ] // Because of You (Kelly Clarkson) [ I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain, and now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing. ] // human (Christina Perri) [ Your words in my head, knives in my heart, you build me up and then I fall apart 'cause I'm only human. ] // Illusion (Zedd feat. Echosmith) [ It feels like the fairytale is over. I really wanted these pages to begin with once upon a time like all those lullabies. I should've known better. ] // Cry (Kelly Clarkson) [ Is this as hard as it gets? Is this what it feels like to really cry? ] // drivers license (Olivia Rodrigo) [ Sidewalks we crossed. I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing over all the noise. God, I'm so blue, know we're through, but I still fuckin' love you. ] // Until The Sun Comes Up (Gabrielle Aplin) [ Do you want to get lost? Go waste our time, lose this city skyline. Be so much better if you're by my side, find myself and lose my mind; think I need a moment to re-align. ] // Part Of Me (Katy Perry) [ Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows but you're not gonna break my soul. ] // Love Not Loving You (Foxes) [ You were always giving me all of your insecurities. How could you do it? You knew what you were doing to me. ] // no tears left to cry (Ariana Grande) [ Right now, I'm in a state of mind I wanna be in like all the time, ain't got no tears left to cry. ]

you forgive, you forget, but you never let it go | spring 2021:

her classmates choice in the gym, and it’s aftermath additional tws: drowning (When the Storm is Over)

Bad Blood (Taylor Swift feat. Kendrick Lamar) [ Remember when you thought I'd take a loss? Don't you remember? You thought that I would need ya, follow procedure, remember? Oh, wait, you got amnesia. ] // Talking to Ghosts (Foxes) [ And I can be your guiding light if you just let me, but I can’t be your guiding light if you have left me. ] // When The Storm Is Over (Sofia Karlberg) [ But when it comes down something in the air says we're 'bout to drown. Baby, we wеren't meant for closure, tеll me when the storm is over. ] // Try (Colbie Caillat) [ You don't have to try so hard, you don't have to give it all away. You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up, you don't have to change a single thing ] // Still Have Me (Demi Lovato) [ So take my faith but 'least I still believe (I still believe, in me), and that's all I need. I don't have much but 'least I still have me. ]

and i don't really care if nobody else believes ‘cause i've still got a lot of fight left in me | early summer 2021:

the story of therapy, the start of recovery, learning to love oneself, and a little bit of romance.

Daisies - Acoustic (Katy Perry) [ They told me I was out there, tried to knock me down. Took those sticks and stones, showed 'em I could build a house. They tell me that I'm crazy, but I'll never let 'em change me 'til they cover me in daisies. ] // Home (Gabrielle Aplin) [ I'm a phoenix in the water, a fish that's learnt to fly. And I've always been a daughter but feathers are meant for the sky. ] // Change (Taylor Swift) [ ’Cause these things will change, can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down. ] // Dear Happy (Gabrielle Aplin) [ Don't you worry, oh no, don't be alarmed. I'm just working it out here, working it out here. I'm somebody with a recovering heart, you've waited there for me, keep waiting there for me. ] // Fight Song (Rachel Platten) [ And all those things I didn't say, wrecking balls inside my brain. I will scream them loud tonight, can you hear my voice this time? ] // Catch My Breath (Kelly Clarkson) [ Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show. Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told what's supposed to be right. ] // Wildflowers (Elle Fanning) [ Wildflowers you brought me are crumbled in my hands. This love that you taught me, I still don't understand. ] // Begin Again (Taylor Swift) [ And for the first time, what's past is past. 'Cause you throw your head back laughing like a little kid, I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did. ] // Let's Sort The Whole Thing Out (Carly Rae Jepsen) [ I love you, this is a new thing. One more drink, let's get to the bottom of it. I love you, let's sort the whole thing out. ] // Youth (Foxes) [ And as we cross the line, these fading beats have all been severed. Don't tell me our youth is running out, it's only just begun. ] // Soft to Be Strong (MARINA) [ I took my bitterness and made it sweet, I took a broken heart and made it beat. ] // Way Less Sad (AJR) [ Don't you love it? Don't you lovе it? No, I ain't happy yet, but I'm way less sad. ]

#musings ( playlists ) #a dream is a wish your heart makes ( musings ) #eating disorder tw #abuse tw #child abuse tw #disownment tw #drugs tw #alcohol tw #drowning tw

[olympusthief]

Luke’s dislike of Apollo has a long history behind it. I wont go into detail here, and I’m sure I’ve made a headcanon about it somewhere previously. But in verses where Luke lives his dislike of Apollo is the one thing that does not go away.

In Luke’s mind Apollo not even apologizing for what happened to May via his Oracle is not okay and it never will be. Luke isn’t stupid he doesn’t think the curse will ever be lifted, but when he went back to May and just sees how much worse she is getting with no help from anyone, it doesn’t put Apollo in a good light.

Before his death this dislike of Apollo did go to his kids, and Rachel. Though Rachel was a bit different in that in her Luke saw the potential that his mother could have had. Then there is the purple hairbrush but that is neither here nor there.

In verses where he lives that dislike does not carry over. He knows he was wrong in how he acted. However he is still a bit icy towards Rachel. Should he come across her or talk about her he might very cold and distant about mentions of her. But he does not dislike her. However, none of that applies to Apollo. Apollo is the only god he dislikes after his death, even he and his father are on better terms. But Apollo can literally eat shit for all Luke cares.

However, Luke has grown if Apollo ever apologized or took the curse off his mother the dislike would disappear, but that is likely never going to happen so Luke does not get his hopes up. However if an Apollo ever wanted to RP that happening let me know.

#headcanon: its journal not a diary

[laimdalen-itellam]

Getting to Know the Inquisitor

Basics

Name: Ma'aravel Lavellan

Age at the start of their game: 24 (Born 12 Bloomingtide, 9:17 Dragon)

Gender: Male

Sexual orientation: Bisexual

Race: Elf

Class: Warrior (temporarily); Rogue

Height: 5'3"

Weight: 118 lbs

Eyes: Hazel

Hair color/texture: Auburn; Straight

Skin tone: Peaches and Cream

Do they tan or freckle?: Tanning? Not so much. But he does have plenty of freckles, mostly bunched up on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose

Any distinctive physical characteristics?: He has a full face of olive green Mythal vallaslin

Personality

Personality type: INFP-T

Optimist, pessimist, or realist?: Probably an optimist, but clueless and naive might be better words for it

Best traits:

Kind

Open-Minded

Pure-Hearted

Loyal

Attentive

Worst flaws:

Impressionable

Naive

Unassertive

Soft-Hearted

Insecure

Tropes that apply to them:

Amnesiac Hero

The Chains of Commanding

Closest Thing We Got

Dream Walker

Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"

Expecting Someone Taller

Frontline General

Go and Sin No More

Hearing Voices

Hope Bringer

Humble Hero

I Am Who?

Manchurian Agent

Messianic Archetype

Nice Guy

Oblivious to Love

The Only One

Power Palms

Red Baron

Reluctant Warrior

Right Man In the Wrong Place

Save the Villain

Sole Survivor

Spanner in the Works

Survivor's Guilt

Touched by Vorlons

Undying Loyalty

Unique Protagonist Asset

Unluckily Lucky

Unwanted False Faith

Weirdness Magnet

Are there any songs that particularly suit them?:

"I Don't Remember" by Peter Gabriel

"Stop This Train" by John Mayer

"Being Good Isn't Good Enough" by Barbara Streisand

"Do Something Good" by Darryl Worley

"With A Little Help From My Friends" by The Beatles

If yes, would they agree with your selections?: I'm not sure he'd know how to answer that, honestly

Preferences

Favorite color: Green

Favorite animal: Halla

Taste in clothing: Whatever's comfortable. He does really like the outfits he's seen Solas and some of the Dalish elves wearing, though

How do they feel about mage rights?: Shouldn't all people at least have the right to freedom? He doesn't understand segregation or prejudice of any kind

How do they feel about the other races of Thedas?: They seem nice enough. There are some humans that don't seem to like him, and that group of Qunari did try to kill him, but he knows better than to think a few individuals are representative of their whole population

Are they religious?: In a way. He definitely was before the Conclave, but then the amnesia hit. Solas retaught him many aspects of his culture and religion (with his own opinions coloring said lessons), and he has come across countless evidence that the Dalish gods exist, so he doesn't see why he shouldn't believe in them again

If they were to find themselves in a modern AU

Favorite food: Ice Cream

Drink order: Mudslide

What would they wear for a night out?: An untucked blouse or button-up, some pants, and a pair of boots

Song(s) that would be sure to get them on the dance floor: None that I can think of

College major: Forestry or Natural Resources Conservation

Ideal date: Getting food, watching a movie, and cuddling

Favorite movie and/or film genre: Maleficent; Fantasy

Family/Friends/Love Life

Relationship with their parents: Lavellan's father was a city elf he never knew, but his mother was more than enough. She was kind and gentle and raised him lovingly until she fell deathly ill. The two of them returned to her clan, so that she knew her son would be cared for once she was gone. Sure enough, the clan kept him safe and healthy, but he was never shown even half the love he'd become accustomed to under his mother's care

Siblings (outside of canon): N/A

Best friend(s): Cole, Iron Bull, and Sera

Companion(s) they get along best with: Dorian, Solas, Varric, Cole, Iron Bull, and Sera

Companion(s) they get along worst with: Vivienne

Companion(s) from other games in the series you wish they could meet, and why: Merrill. They're both adorable sweethearts who were ostracized by their clans, so I feel like they'd get along pretty well

Age of sexual debut: Around 18 or 19

Romanced: Dorian (RPs won't go beyond an awkward date or two with anyone else, and not even that once he's started to date his vhenan)

Relationship status as of the end of Inquisition: Long-distance partners

Are there any songs that particularly suit their romance?:

"Crazy for You" by Madonna

"Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry

"Love Is Beginning" by Imaginary Future

"Your Arms Feel Like Home" by 3 Doors Down

What are they like as a romantic partner?: Eager and willing to please. Also, incredibly cuddly and doting

Do they enjoy cuddling?: As mentioned before, yes! He will take every opportunity to be as close to his vhenan as possible

Do they want children?: He hasn't really thought about it

Do they (now or eventually) have children?: Probably not

Skills

Can they cook?: If asked to. He's made some stews and roasted meats in the past

Can they sing/play an instrument?: No instruments, but he can sing slow songs pretty well. He has a hard time sticking to the beat on faster ones

Are they a good dancer? If not, do they do it anyway?: His only experience dancing was at the Winter Palace. He stumbled a bit at the foreign movements with Florianne, so Dorian let him rest his feet on his own during their later reconnaissance to avoid spoiling the mood

Do they have any creative hobbies?: No

Any martial training beyond their main weapon?: He used to use daggers or a shortbow, and eventually he went back to them, but on his first outing after the Conclave, he just picked up the nearest weapon, which happened to be a longsword he had to hold with both hands. Assuming he didn't know how to fight at all, he was taught the basics of the weapon by a few of his companions

Languages spoken: The common tongue and Elvhen

Any other unique skills they'd like us to know about?: None that he can remember

Template

#info #dragon age rp #dragon age roleplay #da roleplay #da rp #dai rp #dragon age inquistor #inquisitor #inquisitor lavellan #male inquisitor #lavellan #male lavellan #pavellan #dorian x lavellan #dorian x inquisitor #inquisitor x dorian #dragon age #da #dai #dragon age inquisition #da: inquisition #da ocs #dragon age oc #dragon age ocs #inquisitor oc #elf #elf ocs #elf oc #m!lavellan #dalish

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #404

“death doesn’t answer when i cried for help”

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I'd be fucking devastated. It wouldn't feel real. Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? A few things. I'm still on that high of my APAP mask working, like I'm actually getting some fucking quality sleep, and I think I'm noticing the effects of my TMS therapy finally, too. My PTSD has most notably been much more bearable, and my interests are beginning to spread again. Do you want someone dead? No. Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? I mean yeah, I think that's pretty normal, even for someone without my issues. Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? Oh, many times. What is something you tend to worry about? My health and future. What is something you do that is unhealthy? Sit at the computer for way too long. I'm absolutely certain my vision is as poor as it is partially because of me endlessly staring at screens. What is something you do that is good for you? I'm not afraid to prioritize my mental health. What last caused you to force a smile? I was watching a Mark video for the first time in a while and was just reminded of how much I love and appreciate that moron. What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? Because you said "video" game, I guess I'll exclude computer ones, in which case I'm pretty sure it was Silent Hill 2. Given it's one of my all-time favorite games, of course I think it's fun. It's one hell of an emotional ride. What is something not many people know about you? The fact I was a dancer for many years would probably surprise people once they have a good idea of me and what I like. What word describes your basic style? Lazy, honestly. I dress for comfort, and given that's usually just pj pants and a tank top... yeah, I don't put much effort into my clothing when I'm going most places. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? She kinda beat around the bush, but yes. Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? On more than one occasion. If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? Well, I did OD once, but on the other occasions, it was the fear of the unknown that deterred me. Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? Omg no, thank god. I would NOT handle that well. Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? I didn't know 'til a survey question asked it that there are people who don't brush their tongue when brushing their teeth. Like holy shit dude, there are SO many germs on your tongue, clean that shit. Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? Ummmm the nearest that comes to mind is I guess taking my meds? I mean I do that every single day, but it's still a healthy choice for me. The motivation was because I am very serious about doing what I can for my mental wellbeing. What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? I really can't think of something for the first half of the question, but I can tell you that right now I'm attempting to force a routine of applying a therapy technique called "opposite action" into my daily life, where you, well, do the exact opposite of what your depression tells you to not do. It is WAY harder than it sounds, but I'm doing it with reading 30 minutes a day! Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? Not to my recollection, no. Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? The last novel I finished, yes. It wasn't central to the plot. Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? No, except in therapy when different therapists wanted me to experiment with it during a session. They just don't work for me. Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? Yeah. Those are the one I'm especially self-conscious about. there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Watching movies or TV. Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? A makeover would be nice... Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? OKAY SO I actually have seen this custom-made once long after deciding I wanted it, but it was RIDICULOUSLY expensive. There's a location in the Silent Hill games called Heaven's Night, and I'd love love LOVE to commission someone to duplicate the neon pink sign of it to hang in my room. Hopefully one day I could still do it. Who makes you smile the most? Probably my cat, honestly. What piercings do you want/have? I've talked about the piercings I have, but I'll talk about those I want. My #1 is absolutely collarbone dermals, but as I've explained a billion times, I want to lose weight so the bones are more prominent for the sake of contrast; you can't really see my collarbones now, so I just think it'd look pretty dumb and random to just have random piercings somewhere around there with no dimension. I also want way more in my ears, dermals in my back dimples also once I've lost weight, my right nostril for the dozenth time (but this time I'll wear a hoop), and while I'd absolutely adore an undereye microdermal as well, it'd be pointless with glasses. :/ What's your favorite website? KM is my pride and joy and really feels like my online home, so despite using sites like YouTube more, that 'ole RP site has to be my fave. Do you own a fish tank with fish? No. I had fish bowls (AWFUL idea) as a kid, but never tanks Do you like the movie 300? Never seen it. Do you pop your knuckles? NOOOOOOOOOOO. I absolutely hate the sound. It makes me cringe and shiver. Do you have Photoshop? Yes. It comes in the Adobe CC photography bundle I have. Do you use tinypic or photobucket? I used Photobucket back in the day. Now I just upload to imgur. What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? You're talking to someone who adores classic rock/metal, haha. How about the 1990s? There are way too many songs to choose from. Have you won anything recently? No. How often do you make Excel tables? What for? Never. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? There was a poor fawn as roadkill on the highway recently. :/ Are you always available or online? Preeeetty much. Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? I can eat whatever. Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? Steel. I'm allergic to silver, and I think steel is more subtle than gold. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? I do it at a salon. If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? If they had a good reason, no. Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? As a kid I did because I thought Mom was meaner to me than my siblings, lol. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? ........... This question is a setup lmfao. Have you ever grown a berry bush? No. Have you done something new to your hair recently? No. It's been the same for quite a while. I wanna dye it badly. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I'm diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, so yeah. I take Klonopin once and day and Ativan as needed for attacks. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? HA, the first thing to come to mind was being noticed by Mark by making a viral (in the community, anyway) gif of he and his doggy. I shit you not, I couldn't sleep for three days lmfao. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? That I gained fucking seven pounds in two months at my last doctor appointment. I wanted to scream. How often do you have late nights out? Never. I'm a homebody. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No. It would absolutely make me less productive. If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? Cool with a nice breeze, mostly clear skies, crisp air... That'd be nice right now. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? I say it all the time: finish decorating my room. It's funny, because I KNOW I'll feel more at home and cozy with my bedroom more personalized. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Paranormal Entity. The ending was... a lot. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? Not that I can think of. .-. I hope I can achieve some... Have you ever had food poisoning? No, thank God. What are you listening to? "The Man Who Made a Monster" by Dance With the Dead. Do you think there will be a WWIII? I find it inevitable at some point down humanity's future. People are too hateful for it not to eventually. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah. Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? Maybe? Idk. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yes, in some instances. Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? Yes, when I was around 12. And I let it happen. It's one of my biggest regrets. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Of course it is. Emotional abuse can cut just as deep as some physical blows, or even deeper. Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? No. Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm actually not into TLoZ. Do you own a rosary? I did as a kid growing up in a Catholic Sunday school. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I had no loved ones in my life and no sign of things getting better, I'm honestly preeetty sure I'd end my life.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''under the graveyard'' by ozzy osbourne

[hoodoo12]

Private Lesson

Dewey Finn appreciation continues! Based on an rp with the always delightful, insanely talented @beetlebitchywitch. NSFW: Dewey/f!reader. Flirting, Dewey being oblivious, the light comes on, smut! Enjoy!

⁂

“You know, Dewey,” she said, “I'm not in a rock band. But I play piano, so I've got manual dexterity, and I play saxophone so I have pretty good breath control too. I wonder if either of those things interest you at all?”

As always when the discussion of music was even breathed near him, he brightened, “Oh, you looking to join a band? Mine’s kinda just made of kids, but I’m sure they’d love a jam session with you!”

She gave him a bit of a smile, and decided to play along for the moment.

“It'd have to be a jazz band, not rock,” she mused. “I kind of like the big band sound, and some of those male vocalists? Yeah. That’s my preference.”

“I bet you’d do great at that!” he enthused. “Jazz isn’t really my thing, but as long as you’re passionate about it, you’ll make great music.”

He was clueless and adorable. She decided to up the ante. “I think it'd be fun making some music with you, if you're interested . . .”

His brow furrowed. “ . . .wait.”

She raised her eyebrows and her smile widened.

“ . . . I think I get it,” he continued in her silence.

Did he, though? “No kids though. It'd have to be a private lesson.”

“You, uh. You talking about a . . .” He gulped. “ . . .  private lesson?”

“Mmm-hmm,” she agreed.” I don't know anything about guitar, so you'd have to show me the fingerings. You know?

A blush began creeping up his cheeks. “I . . . I do know a thing or two about f-fingering . . .”

“I bet you do, Dewey.” she agreed, licking her lip just to make it shiny. “I know that lots of guitarists have calloused fingers too--I dated a bassist, once--but that's okay. Shows you're dedicated to what you like.”

He was getting more flustered, but instead of shutting down, he choked out, “Did you, uh . . . did you like the callouses?

“Sure did! It's an interesting contrast on . . . softer skin. And since the fingertips lose a little bit of feeling when those callouses are there, a little extra attention, like a little harder suction, is needed. Musicians hands always need some massaging and care.”

He was bright red at this point, gazing at her with wide eyes as if seeing her for the first time. “Would you, um . . . Christ, sorry, forget it . . . ”

“Would I what?” she prompted softly. “It's okay, Dewey. What were you going to ask?”

“Well, I . . . it’s just . . . I’dbetyou’dfeelreallysoft . . .”

His slurred words took a second to decipher, then she grinned. "Come here and feel?"

She held a hand out to him, palm up.

He approached her slowly, his cheeks pleasantly pink as he gazed at her hand.

“O-okay . . .”

He reached out and touched her hand, and oh god, he was right, her skin was so soft. He shuddered as he traced his calloused fingertips in light circles around her palm.

She let him rub circles into her palm, even though it tickled a little and he seemed shy about such innocent contact. Smiling at him, she asked, "Do I get to return the favor?"

His eyes flitted back up to hers and he nodded softly, mirroring her gesture with his palm faced up, his hands trembling slightly.

She took a second to rub her hands briskly, to warm them, then took his hand into hers. Using her thumbs, she pushed into his palm before dragging them out, and repeating the motion. She used more gentle pulling motions on each individual finger, adding minor twists to loosen any stiffness he might have in a joint. She paid special attention to his fingertips, like she'd mentioned, applying slightly harder pressure on the callouses he'd created with the strings of his guitar.

She laced her fingers with his and stretched everything backwards, again to loosen it all, and finished after another quickly rubbing her hand together again, for the heat. She squeezed his hands lightly, when she was done.

"That would've been better with some lotion," she told him sheepishly. "Maybe next time?"

He watched her intently as she massaged his hand, putting so much care into a simple action in a way that just did something to him. God, he felt so pathetic, getting so worked up over someone just touching his hand, but something about the way her soft fingers soothed the overworked muscles sent hot pleasure racing through him. He hated to admit it, but he was getting hard in his pants from the simplest of touches, this gentle, caring gesture that just made him want to fall to his knees and worship her where she stood.

“Y-yeah . . . ” he stammered, his mouth feeling utterly dry. “Next time . . .”

"Well, I'm sure other parts could use a little attention too. I bet you store a lot of tension in that shoulder where your guitar strap digs in, and everybody's back needs some rubbing too . . . of course, it'd be best if you didn't have a shirt on for that . . ."

“Yeah, no, I can do that!” he said hurriedly, fumbling with his shirt as he rushed to take it off. The thought of those soft, warm hands on his back . . . he tried to readjust himself discreetly, not wanting to embarrass himself.

She plucked the shirt out of his hand where he'd balled it up and folded it semi-neatly. Dragging her fingertips across his now bare shoulders, she smiled.

"This might be better if you're laying down," she advised, "but the only place that would be comfortable enough is the bed. Would that be okay?"

He shivered at the light tickle of her fingertips along his shoulder, and with a soft nod, he was laying out across the bed, thankfully on his stomach so to hide his growing arousal.

She hummed her satisfaction and crawled up beside him.

She focused on his left shoulder first. working out the kinks driven into the muscle by that guitar strap. She could feel the knots there, and used heavy pressure to try and loosen them. Worried she'd go overboard, however, she left it be and worked on his right shoulder, as well as his neck.

Quietly she asked him to cross his arms and rest his forehead on them, and when  he complied, she pressed her thumbs into the muscle near the back of his head, on either side of his neck.

Then she moved down the rest of his back, using sweeping motions and moderate pressure to relax him. His back was warm and soft under her hands, and she tried to make sure not to tickle him as she worked her way to his waist.

In his lower back, she traced around the dimples she found there a few times because they were cute, then she once again used moderate pressure on the area. Her fingers dipped under the waistband of his jeans--that was a mistake, she should have had him shed those too, no one could be comfortable getting a massage in jeans!--but she didn't make it awkward.

She finished it all with very light scratches, and impulsively, she pressed a kiss right between his shoulder blades.

Fuck. Her hands were heavenly, her touch just firm enough to loosen his tense muscles. She touched him slowly, softly, and Christ it was driving him fucking wild. When her touch grew slightly more adventurous, he perked up, feeling like there was electricity buzzing under his skin. But God, when she pressed that soft little kiss on his back, that was it. He let out a pathetic, reedy moan of her name, his entire body trembling underneath her.

She laughed a little, not unkindly, at his moan. Her hands tingled. "So you're feeling good, Dewey? Anything else I can do for you?"

Teasingly, she drew one finger down his back again.

“I-I . . . yes,” he sighed, arching up into the teasing touch with a soft moan. “Christ, I’ve been hard this whole fucking time, baby . . .”

Who needed shame when a hot woman was fucking massaging him?

"Oh! Well, that must not've been too comfortable! Why don't you lose those jeans, and I'll see what I can do to make you feel better in the front too."

He perked up, looking over his shoulder at her questioningly, as if to make sure she meant it. When he saw she did, he shuffled out of his jeans as quickly as he could, struggling for a moment before tossing them away. He was left in only his boxer briefs, his cock straining obviously against the fabric.

Her eyes took him in hungrily, and very lightly, she ran her palms up him, from thigh to chest. She grazed over the bulge at his crotch with the softest, most barely-there touch.

"Those have to be tight too . . ." she told him, nodding towards his underwear. "They should probably go."

He met her gaze, his shyness melting away to pure hunger.

“Then take them off,” he said softly.

Biting her lip but smiling through it at his boldness, her fingers hooked into the elastic at his waist. With a little tug to indicate he needed to lift his hips, she shimmied them over his ass, made sure not to get them caught on his cock, and pulled them down his legs in one determined movement. She wrangled one of his feet out, but left his underwear around the other ankle, to tease.

His cock slapped against his stomach, achingly hard and begging to be touched. He stared her down hungrily, his eyes roving her body.

“Shouldn’t I get to see some skin too, babe? I mean, I am naked for you...”

He smiled slyly, his eyes clearly lingering on her breasts.

"Yes, you certainly are," she agreed.

She couldn't help but scratch lightly down his sides, over his stomach. She'd have dragged her finger down the line of hair from his belly button to his pubic bone, but it was covered by his cock and she didn't want to touch him there just yet.

"That's fair. I have a tattoo and piercings. I hope that's okay," she told him, but pulled her t-shirt off over her head before he could agree or disagree. She let her shirt drop beside the bed, and her bra followed it.

“Okay? It’s hot as fuck, babe,” he groaned, finally getting to take in the sight of her without her shirt on. “Christ . . . you’re beautiful . . . ”

His voice and eyes grew soft, taking her in like she was a work of art.

That unsolicited praise made her blush.

She crawled a little further up the bed on her hands and knees. She watched him watch her, and it made her catch her breath.

"It's not really a standard massage move--more of an advanced one--" She chuckled to show it was a joke, "--but to be thorough, I should probably make sure your lips are relaxed too . . ."

She leaned over him, and softly pressed her mouth on his.

He moaned into her lips, wrapping his arms around her waist and spreading his hands out over her back. Christ, her skin was so soft, smooth and wonderful against his calloused fingers. He kissed her back softly, chuckling a bit at her comment.

“You can drop the whole massage shtick, you know,” he said, pulling away with a little wink. “I think we’re past that at this point, right babe?”

She laughed into his mouth, her eyes bright, looking at him in amusement. "Should I go back to calling it a private lesson?"

He laughed, his eyes twinkling with mirth and adoration for the woman above him.

“Let’s call it what it is,” he said softly, leaning in for an equally soft kiss. “Now . . . Christ, please touch me . . . ”

"I thought you'd never ask, lover," she replied, her voice dropping to a husky whisper.

Immediately she lay down beside him, hiked on an elbow, using one hand to scratch and massage down his torso. This time, when she neared his cock, she didn't bypass it.  Wrapping her hand around him, she gave him a tug, then another. She stopped watching her hand to glance at his face for his reaction.

His face crumpled as her hand moved up and down his cock. God, he was so sensitive, having been hard and waiting for so long. He bucked up into her hand with his mouth hung open, little whimpers spilling from his lips.

She liked that he jerked into her and his whimpers were sweet. That was all good, but it could be better. She stroked him with a little more intent, giving him a twist when she reached the head of his cock with each upward pull.

“F-fuck,” he moaned shakily, reaching out to brace his hand on her shoulder. Her hand was so soft, and she was using the perfect amount of pressure as she stroked him, it was driving him fucking crazy.

“Babe . . . fuck, c’mere.” He surged up, pushing her onto her back and moving to hover over her.

"Uh-uh, lover," she protested, and flipped him right back to where he'd been: on his back. "Maybe next time you get to be in charge."

To keep him in place, she quickly shed her pants and panties and then climbed up over him and sat on his upper thighs. She walked her fingers up his stomach to his chest, and she rolled his nipples.

He threw his head back with a desperate moan, bucking up into her touch as the little noises poured from his lips. This was not how he expected this to go, but honestly, he wasn’t complaining in the slightest.

She smiled down at him, loving the moans she dragged out of him. She pinched him again before stretching upward to kiss him, harder this time, slipping her tongue between his lips.

The position had moved her more onto his groin, but she held herself up for the moment. Her belly and chest on his, she wiggled against him, skin on skin.

“B-babe!” he cried out, holding tightly onto her hips as she ground down onto him. Christ, she felt so good, all warm and smooth skin under his hands.

"Mmm--that feels nice," she cooed, even as she sat up a little bit. She pried one of his hands off her hip and transferred it to her right tit. She closed his fingers over the captive bead piercing in her own nipple.

"Be nice," she said, in mock warning.

“Mmf, yes ma’am,” he groaned, kneading her breast in his hand.

He let his fingers play with the bar pierced through her nipple, pinching and twisting her nipple while gazing up at her in adoration.

"Oh, that's fucking good," she moaned.

The sharp pleasure Dewey created with his rough fingertips made her arch her back, which in turn dropped her pussy to his cock. It wasn't the perfect position, his shaft laying the length of her slit, but she ground down on him anyway, continuing to moan and giggle a little.

“Oh god,” he groaned gutturally, bucking his hips to grind the length of his cock along her pussy. Christ, she was fucking wet, all hot and slick against him and it was driving him fucking crazy. He continued playing with her nipple, loving the feeling of the metal inside it.

His movements down below made his cock rub along her clit, and she jerked like it'd been a live wire.

"Fuck--Dewey! Do that again!" she ordered, but it came out more like a plea.

He continued grinding up against her, throwing his head back with a reedy moan at the feeling of her slick warming his cock.

She dropped her head as he complied, and gave a little gaspy moan with each bump of the head of his cock on her clit.

Like before, it was good, but it could be better.

She leaned down again dislodging his hand from her now overstimulated nipple. She kissed him, then dragged her mouth along his jaw till she got to his ear. She nipped the lobe, and rasped.

"I wanna fuck you, Dewey Finn--right now!"

He kissed her back sweetly, burying his fingers in her hair. When she moved to nibble at his ear, he groaned, biting at his lower lip at the sound of her filthy words.

“Then fuck me,” he retorted.

She snorted--like what he'd said was some kind of challenge?--nipped him a little harder on his ear and sat back up. Dragging her fingernails down his chest and belly again, she reached between her legs and grasped his cock. She gave it a twisting pull, like before, then let him go and brought her hand back up to her mouth to lick it. She kept direct eye contact with the man below her as she did, then slipped her hand back down. One last time she wrapped her hand around him, this time wet, and held him steady while she rocked her hips and found exactly where she wanted him to be.

With a little resistance because yes, she'd been turned on while massaging and teasing him but with the exception of a bit of humping not much else had happened between her legs, she arched her back and pushed down onto him. Once he opened her up, her cunt took him fully, and she paused for a moment, seated at his pelvis for a moment, waves of pleasure making her moan long and low.

“Ohhhh fuck,” he groaned while she sank down onto him.

If he thought her just grinding on his cock was incredible, god, the feeling of her tight, wet pussy gripping him was almost too much to handle. He gazed up at her, and Christ was she hot, her tits just begging to be squeezed where they hung above her belly.

She sat upright on him and gently rolled her hips, keeping him deep inside her. She cupped her tits, and seeing him lick his lips as she did she leaned back down for a moment. The positioning wasn't perfect, so she asked him to sit up, and she bunched up and shoved the pillows behind him to keep him angled more upright. It was awkward for a moment, trying to balance with his cock inside her as he settled back, but once he had, her tits were closer to his mouth. She grinned and, tugging just a bit on her piercing to make the nipple stand up again, she cupped it and offered it to him with raised eyebrows.

He looked up at her for a second with eyes full of wonder before he latched on, rolling his tongue around the hardened bud and groaning against the cool metal of the piercing. He wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her as he thrusted up into her, craving the delicious slide of his cock in her pussy.

Like a circuit being completed, bliss arced through her. She wrapped her now free hand around his head, keeping him close. She'd have been happy to keep fucking him, but with his feet planted on the bed he pushed up into her, and it was divine. She cried out in time with his thrusts, his cock creating the most delicious friction even as her pussy grew wetter.

"D-Dewey!" she stuttered. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, please--bite harder, just a little harder, oh fuck fuck fuck--"

Christ, she was fucking incredible. He was in awe of her as she rode him, tits bouncing as he teased her nipple with his tongue before nipping at it, scraping his teeth along the sensitive skin. He pulled away, looking up at her with dark, wild eyes.

“That’s it, baby, Jesus you feel--mmf, fuck--you feel so good!”

"Fuck! You too, you too," she babbled.

Everything was building to a peak. He'd left off her tit but that didn't matter any more, the only thing that existed in the world right now was the man below her, his cock in her pussy, his hands so tight on her skin, his dirty praise. Her throat hurt from the sharp panting and moans he pulled from her, and then it all stilled. In the next moment, she came, hard, his name choked out, every bit of her clenching as euphoria rolled in waves over her. For a millisecond of eternity, it was sublime. It took a bit before she could open her eyes again, and her ears were ringing.

Oh god. Oh god. She was utterly divine, riding him within an inch of his life, hands scrabbling for purchase on his chest and pretty little noises spilling from her lips. And god, when she came, it was all too much. Her pussy clenched around him so fucking tightly and it was all over. He gripped her hips tightly and came with a loud moan, spilling into her as absolute sublime pleasure ripped through his body.

Although there were still residual tremors of pleasure, she wasn't so far gone that she couldn't enjoy the sights and sounds of Dewey coming undone below her.

"Good--oh baby, it's so fucking good--come inside me, oh fuck, Dewey--!" she praised as he tipped over the edge of ecstasy. His hands pinched her, but it was worth the small ache to watch his face as he lost himself.

When he relaxed, she relaxed too, folding over and laying on his chest, but not lifting her hips so he stayed buried in her pussy. With her cheek on his shoulder, she drew abstract designs in the hair on his chest.

He panted softly as he came down, the feeling of his cum dripping from her pussy practically making his head spin. She was so incredibly warm and wet around him, and the pleasurable feeling fizzled out slowly as she shifted to snuggle up to him.

“W-wow . . .”

"Wow yourself," she agreed. "Thanks for all that, Dewey. It was amazing."

“You don’t have to thank me,” he sighed happily, twirling a strand of her hair in his fingers. “The pleasure was all mine . . . well, all ours I suppose.”

She picked up her head to look at him.

"It was amazing," she repeated, and kissed him under the jaw, in his scruff. "I appreciate the private lesson. Maybe next time you could show me some of that fingering you mentioned?"

He grinned, pulling her down into a slow, sweet kiss.

“Anytime, babe,” he said. “Anytime.” fin!

#writing #fanfiction #dewey finn #school of rock #dewey x reader

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, KIERSTEN! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF EPHEMERA.

Admin Rosey: There is something incredibly arresting about Ephemera that I thought would be difficult for someone to capture. There’s something powerful and pivotal that surrounds her - it’s why so many had fallen to their feet in order to worship her. Kiersten, you captured that perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. There line that stuck with me, throughout the application, was this:  Ephemera is, quite simply, a terrible beauty. That is what I always saw Ephemera as - terrible and beautiful. The kind that defines the divinity of angels. I am so incredibly excited to welcome Ephemera to the dash, and you to the group! Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Kiersten

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | she/her/hers

Activity Level | I’m entering my final year of university with the lightest credit load I’ve had since sophomore year, but I’m also in the process of applying to post-grad programs ( :/ ) and co-editing an anthology for one of the departments here on campus. With that being said, I hope to get a reply out every other day, or once every two days. However, I’m chaotic and oftentimes mean to hold and/or queue replies, but end up flooding the dash. If I could give you a number, it’d be 6/10, realistically, but I’m pretty much always around on Discord to plot and/or chat!

Timezone | EST

Triggers | REMOVED.

How did you find the group?  | #thctalk :*

Current/Past RP Accounts | LINK, LINK, LINK

IN CHARACTER

Character | Ephemera - The Virtue of Prudence (with a FC change to Levy Tran, if you please? uwu)

What drew you to this character? | Ephemera is, quite simply, a terrible beauty. I’ve always been enthralled by angels and their place in different aspects of existence--as messengers, saviors, harbingers of punishment, and more--but I never quite thought of there being an angel like Ephemera and I love her all the more for it. She is a true free spirit, she is the best and worst of God; she is the first mortal to be granted wings and instead of crumbling under the weight of the honor, she rose to the occasion and exceeded expectations. She’s a glorious being deserving of adulation… How could I not be drawn to her? 

What future plots do you have in mind for the character? | 

i. Just as it was God’s folly to give His beguiling creation wings, it was His folly to dictate that she be named Ephemera. There is power in a name, and Ephemera’s literally translates to “something that is enjoyed for only a short amount of time.” How, then, is it her fault that longstanding peace knows no home in her celestial frame? Because of this, I can easily see the Virtue as a near vulture of sorts, just waiting to capitalize upon the misfortune of those beneath her. I don’t think it would be out of character for the conqueror of an angel to pick at the fraying tendrils of peace throughout the lands while Michael and his advisors are none the wiser, instigating discord whenever she deemed it politically smart—for herself, that is. 

ii. It is not often that a deity such as herself sees what could be considered an equal in someone else, but such is the fate of Ephemera and DMITRI. He is the Horseman of Conquest and she is conquest’s keeper—she, who’s known nothing but adulation for her victories as both a mortal and an angel; she, who bested her own Creator at the end… And wouldn’t be opposed to besting the Horsemen, either. I would love to explore the dynamic between these two on a micro-level (with Ephemera trying to strategically mold Dmitri into the harbinger of Death that she believes they are to be, for example), but also the dynamic between them on a macro-level that is inclusive as the HORSEMEN as a unit, as well. One of the oldest tactics of war is to divide and conquer, and the idea crosses the strategist’s mind every time she sees the Pale Horseman. What would it take to force one entity into four, all just ripe for her taking? What would Ephemera give to have such power at her fingertips? Further still, what would she do with that sort of power? 

iii. She could have sworn she was careful enough--she disposed of plucked feathers by fire, she made sure to appear wounded when necessary, and more--and still, she was brought to stand trial for her sins against her Creator. Ephemera certainly did not out herself to God, so who did? With this plot, I would love for Ephemera to search for whoever told her Creator (a CHERUBIM, perhaps?) about her stints as a god in her own right. She is haunted by the mistake even though things have turned out well for her because she doesn’t know what she did wrong--and how could she refrain from repeating her mistake if she knows nothing about it? 

iv. Ephemera is all-too aware of BASTIEN’s obsession with her--her battle stories, her military presence, her sharp mind--and is often annoyed by his incessant behavior, as she finds it difficult to believe that the mortal hasn’t yet realized her disinterest in him stems from the fact that she’s deemed him unworthy of her undivided attention. The angel knows that the Avalos man greedily laps at whatever scraps she deigns to toss his way, and, sometimes, the information she tosses his way is rotten; sometimes, she gives half-truths and embellished accounts of her encyclopedic war accounts, or gives withering comments about his militaristic plans even if she agrees with them for two reasons. The first is that she hopes it negatively impacts the whelp of a mortal enough to leave her alone, and the second is that she hopes it also negatively impacts the mortals’ military forces--especially as times become more and more strenuous between demons, angels, and mortals.  

v. Eternity is a long time to exist without amusement and she is so grateful for CADE BEKKER and his utter disdain for everything, for he is her favorite plaything. She knows he sees her as a beast waiting to be befelled, but does he not know that the Virtue evaded and had a hand in the death of God and has no qualms about doing the same to him? She is content to watch him seethe, but she wants more. I love the idea of Ephemera taunting Cade so much that it eventually does end in a fight--but one that he started, one that she can justify to herself and the others. A Virtue versus a Gifted… What a bellicose event that would be!

vi. The GIFTED are the mortals that catch Ephemera’s attention with begrudging ease (even more so than the REINCARNATED), and of the Gifted, she takes most caution around REVNA VOLK. The Virtue’s mind is her prized possession, and Revna’s very existence serves as a threat to it; as such, Ephemera is keen on keeping an eye on the mortal to ensure that she’s not blindsided by anything she does; when she looks at Revna, she feels feelings of bitterness--not because she thinks she’ll ever fall victim to the Daughter of Lies’ tricks, but because God’s divinity makes a mockery out of her as it settles in Revna’s bones. (Even in death, it seems that God intends to taunt her and keep her chained to Him in some way). This one is really open-ended and it can go a couple of ways: with the angel trying to take Revna under her wing in order to keep herself safe (similar to the way in which God brought her closer to Him despite her transgressions against Him), or she could work to make Revna’s life difficult in the Holy Land by advocating for things that would negatively impact her or keep her from gaining any more traction in the political realm. 

vii. They say that like calls to like and that both angels and demons are but two halves of the same coin—and, perhaps, in the rawest of terms, they are correct. Like the demon that she is, SALOME pulls a viciousness from Ephemera that reminds the angel of the Old Testament God—of a God that was divinely terrible and possessed a haughtiness that so often informed the deliverance of punishments to those who couldn’t help but fall short of the expectations placed on their incapable shoulders. God found it easy to lose Himself in His throes of battle and glory and passion, and there’s a part of Ephemera that clings to His likeness despite her repeated successes at besting Him; she, too, finds herself susceptible to His same weakness. 

Most mistakes made by the Virtue of Prudence are never capitalized on, as they’re so few and far between and tend not to be egregious enough to exploit; however, time is as merciless as she, and it exposes what few chinks do exist in Ephemera’s armor while also giving Salome time to start to understand. I’m really excited to play out the relationship between these two beings, especially as Ephemera simultaneously believes she’s better than Salome, but knows Salome can capitalize on her mistakes--and oh, how she detests the way the demon smiles when she knows the angel has made an error! 

viii. Ephemera feels as though she chose MICHAEL as much as he chose her, which is why she feels comfortable enough to lord her part in Caelum’s creation over his head, should he begin to forget that it was her military brainchild that led to God being tossed from Heaven and her battalions that stifled the even the strongest of Heretic strikes. For now, she is content to remain by his side because he affords her freedoms that God was too cowardly to, but ephemera are not meant to be enjoyed for eternity. What would it take to turn the mind against the body, the Virtue against the one who bequeathed her such an honor? How would the King of Caelum react to being extorted, in a sense, by his own military advisor?

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yea! It be like that sometimes but so long as it makes sense, serves the plot, and befits the glorious conqueror that is Ephemera I am down to clown uwu

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation | 

(Ephemera has always been divine, but she’s not always been an angel; as such, her driving motivation has changed with her!)

  As a MORTAL, Ephemera was driven by SUCCESS. Her life was hard-won and something she snatched without so much of a second thought; she wanted to be brilliant, and so she was. She was the first woman to rally her people to prestige and glory and led them to prosperity with her wisdom and iron-clad fist; she made a lover out of Death time and time again, but always evaded both it and God because she is bigger than them both and her successes attest to this. 

As an ANGEL, however, she quickly realized that successes (even awe-inspiring ones like her own) were dimes a dozen and was left wanting more, wanting something of substance in an eternal life rather than worshipping God without end. She found solace in her own FREE WILL and never looked back—but who can blame her, as she is only adhering to God’s wish for His beloved creations? Ephemera values herself and her freedom above all else, but even she knows that the strongest of generals need legions behind them; she stays aligned with Michael and his kingdom because she wants to, not because she must. 

In-Character Para Sample | 

“What do you have to say for yourself, my child?”

She expects nothing less from God, who loves her so that He wishes to give her a chance to explain herself. Fool, she defiantly thinks as she stands at the throne of her Creator, head unbowed and expression unfazed. The angel waits to respond, forcing an uncomfortable silence upon them both--and God, enraptured with His own work, allows her to do so and again bring attention to His folly. He is steadfast in His love and grace with her especially, as she is closer to his truest loves--his mortals--than any of the other celestial beings that gather to watch the sentencing of the woman whom they believed never truly deserved her place among beings as divine as themselves. 

Ephemera knows what is expected of her: utter repentance, a grand show of regret and sorrow, and a promise to never again commit such an offense against her wondrous Maker again. She has seen it before and it only further stoked her ire against the selfish God that holds her here in a farce of a trial in an attempt to break her will and reinstate His place as both the Alpha and Omega. She will now bow nor will she beg for forgiveness; if anything, He should be prostrate at her throne, begging for her forgiveness as it is His wretched desire to keep his favorite mortal in his dominion like she is a pet. She is unapologetic as she responds, voice unwavering: “I have done no different than You have done Yourself.” 

The silence of the throne room shatters. Cherubim cry out in disgust at such blasphemy; Seraphim gasp and whisper, eyes wide with disgust that someone they called a comrade would do something so heinous. God raises a hand and the outcries stop; He looks to his masterpiece expectantly, and Ephemera continues, “In the presence of Your own omniscience, I spent centuries disguising myself as a mortal to once again feel more than loathing.” 

The pain that flashes across His face is genuine and full of agony; it’s an expression Ephemera knows because she’s seen it flit across the visages of others she’s conquered throughout her lifetimes as Athena and Nike, Minerva and Freya. And still, she does not bend at her knees and profess her love; she remains upright and earnest--and how could she not, when she’s done nothing wrong? 

“My creation,” God says, “you know the cost of such transgressions.” 

She does. She’s heard tales of Moloch and Chemosh and Dagon; she knows the penalty of disobedience is the stripping of wings from bodies. She’s been told of the excruciating pain, of the near demonic screams that spilled from the angels’ lips as God punished them enough to traumatize them with pain, but not enough to offer the sweet outlet of ceasing to exist--and yet, she is more bothered by His language. Ephemera can’t help but bristle as He, even when threatening her with a wingless existence, lays claim to her as though she did not mold herself into the wonder that she is.

“Rip my wings off.” It’s a bold challenge that once again riles the watching masses. They call her a heretic, a foolhardy mortal who deserves to return from the same dust from which she came--and God does nothing but drink in the sight of the beguiling creature at His throne that refuses to pledge her loyalty to Him and not herself. 

How can He condemn her to such a painful existence? She is one of his finest creations.

He lifts a mighty hand and she braces herself for pain, but does not balk or cower. His fingertips run down her ivory plumage, paying careful attention to the places she plucked to masquerade as a mortal. Ephemera clenches her jaw and it remains locked even as His touch leaves her wings. 

“How could I, my Ephemera?” And so, He decides to draw her closer to Him still in spite of her blatant sins against him. She is a Seraphim--His Seraphim--and He all but chains her to Him by revoking her privilege to traverse alongside mortals and ordering that she stay close to His side via pretentious titles such as general, His strategist, His masterpiece, and more.

Ephemera loathes Him all the more for it.  

Extras | 

headcanons.

The Virtue’s wings seem to mimic her sword, in the sense that they, too, glisten as though they were cut from unforgiving ice. Ephemera’s lush, ivory plumage is, upon close inspection, flecked with gold; however, the silver tips of her feathers are far more noticeable, allowing for a more ice-like appearance. When she used to parade as a mortal, she would pluck her own feathers to make her wings less full and easier to conceal. It must be God’s favor, then, that still shines on her, as there is no evidence--save for the phantom sensations prickling against her skin--of her past actions. 

Ephemera’s companions throughout her eternal existence have varied, and they are often depicted at her side by the devoted mortals that dubbed her their goddesses--Nike, Athena, Freya, and Minerva--and etched her glorious likeliness into word, gold, and marble. Her companions, too, came from those devoted mortals, and Ephemera strategically chose which animals to accept as gifts and keep at her side. These animals, kept by the angel throughout her stints as different mortal deities, include: a barn owl, a white King Cobra, a wild boar, and a silver dapple Arabian horse. 

No longer needing an animal to symbolize herself to the mortals of the Old World, Ephemera made the decision to stop keeping companions and instead chose to focus on plans to overthrow God. Since then, however, the angel has acquired a red fox companion--but if you ask her, she would assert that the fox chose her, as the animal followed her home from the forest one night. Ephemera ignored the vixen at first, but soon found herself amused by her wit and overall penchant for chaos. Ephemera named the fox Gloria--a nod to the Latin word ‘gloriae’ that is synonymous with immortal glory, fame, renown, praise, and honor.  

The Virtue of Prudence keeps no written records of her strategies, aside from the plans she gave Michael in response to and as a show of her allegiance to the dissatisfaction that led to the usurping of God. 

Ephemera is, in some capacity, always prepared for battle. Conquest and the desire for victory run rampantly through her veins, and growing comfortable in her surroundings is tantamount to accepting defeat and complacency--both of which, of course, are absolutely unacceptable for this divine conqueror. Because of this, the angel is incredibly observant and never leaves without her sword, even though she has rarely used it since the quelling of the God and, subsequently, Heretics. 

personality inventory.

Nine Moral Alignments: Chaotic Neutral - The Free Spirit

+ | opportunistic, adaptable, innovative -  | self-serving, bellicose, disharmonious

MBTI: INTJ - The Architect + | independent, jane-of-all-trades, driven -  | judgemental, blunt, secretive

Four Temperaments: Choleric 

+ | practical, passionate, ambitious -  | cruel, proud, offensive

additional extras. 

PINTEREST: here

MOCK BLOG: here

#accepted #accepted: ephemera

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse  don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

#i do not know how 2 b quiet #long post #personal text #yellowcrumpet

[savysavannah]

Challenge 1

Special thanks to @damian-schreave and @hadleyjaneharper for the rps.

Also the last section is not in fic format because its 2am, im lazy, and you get the gyst from the RP. Apperantly this is too long so part 2 soon.

    The Prince was off in Paloma for a bit so we were of little use in the Palace, no idea why they had us move in so early. Therefore, I’d spent most of the day with some books I’d grabbed from the library. Primarily they were legal books since it never hurts to brush up. But every once in a while, such as now I’d need to go and grab some food. 

I brought my notepad and a book on contract law with me and walked into the kitchen. There was another girl also in the kitchen. We haven't spoken to each other, she didn’t seem unfriendly or particularly awful company, just hadn’t really had the moment to. I grabbed a plate of fruit and wondered if she would say anything. After a moment I sat down and resumed reading. 

Then a small sad sigh came from the young woman who was looking down at her phone with a sad face. It wouldn’t be too bad if I took a break for some conversation. However, the young woman looked troubled, she may not be in the mood. I yawned and stretched then mumbled, but loud enough for her to hear, “God, I could use a drink.” and wondered if the other would take the bait. 

There was a beat before the other spoke, “Long day?”

“More or less. Lots of reading, missing work. How about yourself?”

She shrugged “Its...different than what I’m used to. Lots of sitting still when I’m used to spending my days moving around.” SHe grimaces then sighed, “The adjustment period is always the toughest, though.”

I thought for a moment trying to remember the occupations of the selected, “The dancer?” I asked. 

She grinned “Yeah. Hadley.” She raised an eyebrow, “And you?”

“Lawyer.” I said and stood from the table, walked over to Hadley and held her hand out, “Savannah Mars, Labrador, three.”

She shook my hand, “Nice to meet you.” then thought for a moment, “You said you were missing work? Do you work at a law firm?”

“Kinda. I work for the Illean Civil Liberties Union in their legal division. It's a non-profit which focuses on civil rights and for me civil legal cases. Lgbt+ rights defense, domestic defense, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, that’s really cool.” She said, seeming actually interested in my work. “Are you missing the casework, or something else?”

“It's pretty hard for me to step back from my work. Since I'm kind of left worrying about my clients. A new guy took over my cases but I'm trying to still work in my own way by studying up on some legal sections I work in less frequently but still may come up. Such as contract law.” I explained not fully hearing her other question. 

She nodded, “I understand, sort of. I’m left worrying about how my ballet company is going to perform, with somebody else taking over the role in the Nutcracker that I’ve had the past few years.”

“Yeah the transition really is nerve wracking. Have you seen them perform though?” I asked hoping that could at least provide some solace. 

“I’ve seen pictures on Instagram, but no videos yet. We were just finishing up our performance of Cinderella when I left. Nutcracker rehearsal started a few days after, but it’s a show we do each year, so... “ She sighed “ It /should/ be fine.”

I nodded, “well if they assigned them the role try and have faith in their qualifications. That's what I'm keeping in mind for mine. They did go to law school so it's fine. They got the role so it’s fine.” I said partially for her and partially for me. 

She sighed a little hesitant, “Yeah, you’re probably right. Competition is just gonna be a bitch and a half when I’m sent back.” She chuckled wryly.  

“Well maybe you'll win and then you won't have too. Who’s gonna take a role away from the future queen of Illea.”

“That’s extremely unlikely to happen.” She then almost smirked “What about you? If you win, nobody’s going to tell you no in a courtroom.”

I laughed, “If I win I'll kill myself.” Then I realized how dark that sounded, though it didn’t seem to phase her.

“I hate to say that I feel the same way, but…” She shrugged and nodded, “I feel the same way” For a moment I was confused, why would she join if she felt the same way? Then it clicked, a dancer would be a five, lower class, need the money.

“You're a five right? Did you apply for the money? If you don't mind my asking that is. It would just make sense why you'd dislike to win.” 

“It…” She bit her lip, “Kind of? It’s a long story involving a deadbeat mom, a shitty health care system, two starving artists, and a kid with leukemia.” She said with an apologetic smile. Whatever she’d be apologizing for I can’t say. 

“Well shit man, I'm glad you got in then. Both for the money and for a break from that. I know this society fucking sucks and we've got a likely shit for brains hier, but if you ever need a lawyer I'm here to help. Hopefully, being a three now will provide some help for you too.” I said then caught myself making a mental note to not be so vulgar with my language. 

She gave me a small smile, “Thanks. Now I just have to figure out what I’m doing with the rest of my life, after throwing my career into dance, only to become a Three.” She laughed, “What about you? Why did you enter? It sounds like you had a pretty cushy gig going on.”

It wouldn’t be smart to tell the truth, but lying when Hadley had been so open felt wrong, I sighed and said, “My brother. Basically he forged my entry and I didn't want him to get into legal troubles for that. He's a fucking idiot.” I sighed and let that last cuss word slide as he is a fucking idiot. 

She snorted, “Men really do only have two brain cells.” She gave a small smile, “I’m sorry that you ended up in that situation, though. That’s rough.”

“Yeah. I tried to beat him up but my other brothers stopped me. It was really a mess. Had to find out from a waitress asking for a photo with me.” 

She shook her head, “My best friend told me that he was so upset to see me, “throwing my life away,” as if I hadn’t entered to help him and his brother.” Sounds like an ungrateful ass. She sighed and looked down at her fruit, “When did life get this messed up?”

A question with too big of an answer. A bit panicked and not knowing what to say I took a strawberry off my plate and held it out to her, “Fruit?” 

She chuckled and took the strawberry, “Thanks.” She takes a bit, chews, and then pauses, looking at Savannah, “You know what I could really go for right now, though? A good gin and tonic.”

“God that'd be great. You know what, let's make some. One glass can't hurt.”

She shrugged, “Sure, sounds fun. I’m down.” She looks around, “I know they keep the wine in that cabinet, but I haven’t found the liquor yet.”

After gathering our ingredients we get to work making the glasses, “so, what's your plan in all this?”

“In the selection?” She raises an eyebrow and then shrugs, she starts pouring things into the mixer bottle, “Stay here for as long as I can so I keep making stimulus checks, and then get sent home before I’m stuck spending the rest of my life here.” She finishes pouring and looks at Savannah, “You?”

I sighed, “about the same. Give the money to the non-profit I work for. I was hoping I could root for you to win, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders to influence him, but the more I think about it the more I realize that's like damning to hell.

She snorts, “Well, I still appreciate the compliment, and I would’ve said the same about you.” Then she sighs, “I’ve always known that it’s been like this, though. He gets to squander every penny he has on luxury shit, whereas my paychecks…” another sigh, “But life isn’t fair.”

“Yeah. And then waste the money on useless shit and trying to pass dumb laws like making 'cats' illegal instead of actually fixing the problems in this country.” I said and poured myself a glass of the drink.

She poured some for herself and then shook her head with an eye roll, “Don’t even get me started on that debacle. Why even joke about things like that?”

“Because he doesn't comprehend how the people of his own country are suffering. He's just so blind with privilege. Not that I have much to speak on but at least I freaking try to think about others in the country and their situations.”

She gave me a small smile, “You didn’t seem like the type to blow your money on worthless things to me, at all. I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him when we have that interview in a few days.”

“Yeah I think im just gonna be polite for the sake of not causing a scene that'll haunt me my whole life” I said and took a sip, then clarified, “polite though, not kind.”

She nodded then drank too, “I really went from putting on one type of show for Twos to another.” 

“Any idea what you're gonna do as a three?” I asked.

She pursed her lips and shook her head, “I haven’t taken a science or maths class since I was eleven, and I don’t have the money for university. I guess I could work as a translator, or if that doesn’t work out, marry a five and go back to dancing.” She took another sip of her drink, “Hopefully I’ll be here long enough to figure it out.”

“Do they not have like threes who are dance teachers? I haven't really looked much into the area myself but it may make sense.”

She shook her head, “For me, at least, it was mostly Russian immigrants who were former dancers themselves, so Fives.”

I thought for a moment, “Well if you ever need history lessons, english, or legal aid I'm around. I dug into my pocket and pulled out a business card, since it’s not like either of us plan to be here long,  “Just all the way up in Labrador. Where are you from again?”

“Allens. So, not too far. Thanks.” She replied and looked at the card.

“Welcome.” I replied, finished off my drink then wrote down another idea. 

Hadley narrowed her eyes curiously, “What are you writing?”

“Just an idea for a proposition with the ICLU. There are probably other girls in a similar situation as you being lower caste now upper be it through marriage or selection, it may be helpful to talk about implementing a caste readjustment program.”

She lifted her head, smiling just a little, “That sounds like a great idea.” Then a little quieter she added,  “I'd appreciate it.” 

“Hopefully my boss will agree and pass it onto the innovation department. I'll write a quick memo about it to her later.” I smiled happy to have something to do.

“You really love your job, don't you?” She asked. 

I nodded, “It makes me feel like I have some kinda purpose. As cheesy as that is to say.” Making actual change in Illea instead of just prancing around doing whatever else I could have grown up to do. 

“No, I get that.” She looked down, “As a kid, I never really felt like I belonged, but on the stage, dancing?” She looked a little distant, “Standing out was a good thing.”

I nodded,  “Mhm. Have you thought of ways you could continue working while at the palace?”

She smiled, “Actually, I had a conversation with Prince Eaton about that, and I’ve been able to work out a schedule that allows me to still practice, even though I have to do a little more work to catch up on lessons.”

“That'll be good. If you wanted too you could put on a performance and donate the profits. That way you could be working towards a goal too instead of general practice.”

She tilted her head, “That's an interesting idea. I’ll keep that in mind.”

I nodded, “Well it was nice meeting you, Lady Hadley. But it is probably time for me to get back to work.” Then held out my hand to shake goodbye.

She took it, giving it a shake. “Nice to meet you too.”

It was pretty late in the afternoon by the time I was escorted to the interview room. Damian was in a navy blue suit jacket, dress pants, and a white button up shirt. He smiled at me as I got closer.  His eyes flicker to my nametag for a second before he speaks, “Hello, Lady Savannah. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person.”

I smiled trying to stay polite, then gave a small curtsy, “The same to you, your highness.”

He smiled back, taking a few steps back and gestured for me to go into the interview room. In the room is a sofa, surrounded by stage lights and a few cameras, what a romantic first meeting. There is one camera on a swivel stand, that is currently focused on Damian and I. He starts walking into the room, looking at me as he talks, "How have you found your first few days here, so far?"

I debated giving him a short one word answer of 'fine' but Danny's words of 'don't ruin your own happiness" slipped into my head. "They've been fine. I've enjoyed your library. It's helped me feel like I can in some ways continue working by catching up on legal matters normally outside of my areas of expertise."

He nodded while smiling then took a seat on the sofa, "So you're a lawyer, then? What kind of law do you practice?"

Reluctantly I sat next to him, hopefully I wouldn't catch an STD from proximity alone, "Yes, I practice primarily civil and criminal law with the Illean Civil Librities Union. So primarily defending people who are in bad situations due to outdated laws which need amending." My tone came out more passive aggressive than intended, but it was slightly justified as he should have been working to amend said laws and help people instead of partying.

"That's a great thing, to be doing. What got you into law?"

"Well I was at the University of Labrador. My best friend I'm the sorority I was in decided to go to a protest over women's rights in illea. We went, someone man came and antagonized some women, she defended herself verbally, got arrested, felt up by the officer, then was unable to do anything legally about it. I felt that was unfair so I decided to look into being a lawyer, liked the process, graduated in 2 years, went to Yale and here I am." 

He lets out a low whistle, looking down for a second. I couldn't help but be a but prideful at my accomplishment, then looks back up at me, more serious than before, his jaw tense, "I'm really sorry that happened to your friend." He said and fell silent. What a conversation killer. 

"It's fine." I said trying not to dwell on it, "How was your time in undergrad? Partied a lot, I saw." I said the passive agressiveness coming out again. 

He smiled, a little more relaxed than before, but not as relaxed as he was when he first entered the room, "I enjoyed my last few years of freedom before entering the real world, yes." He then raised his eyebrows, grinning a little wider, kind of teasing, "And what about you? Being in a sorority and all, I doubt you were much of a homebody yourself." 

I couldn't help but completely flush and bit down my urge to absolutely smack him upside the head. "It was a brief phase. It was fun. But also a waste of time." I chuckled a bit remembering my airheaded behavior in that year, "had I already been working harder I may have been able to finish faster and help more people."

He grinned a little at how flustered I was, which just made me want to punch him more, then smiled a little more genuinely towards the end, "We're still young. We have our whole lives to keep fixing things."

i frowned, "That isn't true. We never know when we're going to die. Something could always happen so we should be trying to help as much as we can. Not to mention while we" I paused after my slip of the tongue, but didn't correct it "partied in undergrad people were suffering who could have been helped."

There's a flicker of a frown on his face when I mentioned how short life is, but he lets it go, tilting his head when he looks at me, "We can't save everyone. That's impossible. We can try to do as much as we can, but there will always be more people in need of help.

"Partying isn't trying."

He raised his eyebrows, "You didn't even know you wanted to be a lawyer, back when you were partying in college."

I got kinda flustered again, he's right, there's no logically sound way to win. Yeah but I should have, I wish I had. Would have made the time a lot less regrettable." I said then cleared my throat, "Though, this is a bit of a heavy topic for our first meeting, don't you agree? Your- Damian." I barely corrected myself from saying Your Highness.

He chuckled, "A bit, but it's different from the surface level talk about work and provinces." He inclined his head, "Though, if you think about it, you never would have discovered your passion for law if you hadn't joined your sorority." He shrugged and gave a stupid grin which made me blush even more. 

Finally I snapped and turned to point a finger at him, "You won okay. I can't regret something if I didn't know to do something better, but that doesn't make topless jello shots any less of an embarrassing memory." I exclaimed then heard what I said and wished to curl into a ball and die. 

He chuckled a little, "We all have our moments. It's okay."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door then, and a guard pokes his head in. Damian nods at him, then turns and looks at me, "Unfortunately, we'll have to exchange stories another time. It appears our time today is up."

I sighed in relief at my rescue, then mumbled under my breath, "Thank God." I stood to curtsy, "Your-" I cringed a bit at the error, "Damian."

He chuckled again, "It was a pleasure to meet you Savannah. Until next time." He smiled at me when we got to the door, and stopped in the doorway.

I smiled back politely, "Thank you for the conversation. Till next time." 

*savy was taking a break from her work and decided to out for a walk in the gardens. She had always been a fan of taking runs when stressed snd the gardens were providing a peaceful alternative. She was walking around when she thought she saw a bunny in the bushes. Being the gal she is she wanted to see it closer so she stepped off the path and walked into the gravel. Immediately her heel sank in the gravel. She lost her balance for a moment but didnt fall. Instead she panicked. She debated stepping out of her shoes to get it out but she didnt wanna hurt her skin on the gravel. Instead she tried to wiggle it loose and hopped no one was near*

*rip savannah, but Damian is out distressing by playing basketball at that point in time, and from where he's standing as he shoots this basket, he can see someone clearly struggling with something in the gardens. he can't see who it is, or what the problem is, but he figures he should go check it out. he tucks the basketball under one arm, jogging towards the person he can see, calling out* Hey, everything okay?

*savannah hears him call out an knows immediately it's the last person in the world she'd want to find her like this* Absolutely peachy! *calls back and debates ditching the shoes*

*he slows to a stop when he gets closer, his eyes going from savannah's face to her foot* Mmm, looks like you've got yourself in a bit of a sticky situation, there.

*is extremely flustered* no situation at all. I said I'm fine. *aggressively wiggles the heel and almost trips so she squeaks but manages to catch herself*

*when he sees her almost trip, he lunges forwards to catch her before she hits the ground, but then she catches herself, so he's like "oh was that for nothing?" he looks down at the shoe, furrowing his brows, thinking* Here, let me help with that, before you actually fall.

I'm not going to fall and I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of defeating some gravel on my own

*he takes a step back* Alright... if you insist... *hes not going anywhere, just watching her, waiting to see what she'll do*

*huffs when she doesnt hear him walk away and continues to wiggle then huffs when shes not getting anywhere* Fine. If you're just going to stand there anyways you may as well help.

*he chuckles, setting the basketball down on the ground, kneeling down to look at the gravel and the heel, before beginning to dig the heel out with his fingers* Not the best shoes to walk off the path in.

*rolls her eyes* I didn't think about that. I thought I saw a bunny and got distracted

*he can't help but raise his eyebrows at that, grinning, twisting the heel a little to unscrew it from the gravel* Was it at least a cute bunny?

*his tone is a little teasing*

It was cute, be careful with your tone though when your face is near my foot. *once its free she steps back on the path so she doesn't sink again*

*he chuckles, joking* What, are you planning on giving me a royal nose job with your shoe?

You could probably use one. *offers a hand to help him stand back up*

*he picks up his basketball, taking her hand, still grinning at her, teasing* Maybe it's just the angle you've been looking at it from.

*stands on her tiptoes looking at his nose* Nope. It's a little off. Nose job it is.

*she pinches his nose* its a big flaw. Doubt you'll be able to get a wife like that

*he chuckles* I don’t know, my nose has never gotten in my way before

*considers* You're right, I'm sure that was just your sense of responsibility that got in the way.

*he raises his eyebrows* You know, I’ve never turned in an assignment late, or anything for work late. Never asked for an extension.

I somehow find that doubtful. Your reputation of being a loose partier precedds that of a responsible duitiful person.

Well, it’s the truth. *he shrugs* If you’re really curious, you could email my professors. It’s all about finding a balance. *he smiles*

*grumbles because he seems to be honest about it* What did you even study?

I dual majored in political science and marketing. You?

*sighs in relief* at least you werent a buisness major. Political Science and History for me on a prelaw track.

*he nods, smiling, genuinely curious* Did you prefer one over the other?

Probably political science. I mean I love history it's why I added it. For fun since it's just like learning stories and seeing the modern day impact of said stories. But political science felt more efficient. Like it helped me have a better understanding of the philosophy of political thinking which has helped me a lot in law. Plus I just liked the professors more.

*he smiles* Understandable. Good professors make it so much easier to learn the content

*smiles* yeah and lots and lots of highlighters. Did you have a favorite topic in political science?

*grinning* I took a really cool course on comparative political economies - I really like the economic side of things. That, and the classes I had to take on international politics. *he looks over at savannah* What about you?

Probably civil politics. I've always been a fan of civil work. I honestly thought about working for the AFEI instead of the ICLU but decided I wanted to do more personal legal work than policy legal work. But it's always been the work that has interested me more since it's important to bring up civil conflicts within the country and try to help as much as possible. But learning about where we came from in terms of The United States vs the civil policies of Illea was an interesting course for me, especially because of the overlap of History and Political Science.

*he nods as she talks, thinking that all over* I think work guided what classes I liked as well. Because beyond national politics, I also have to think about international politics, trade agreements, and maintaining Illéa’s position in the world.

*seems slightly surprised* so you actually liked your major? I assumed you just were kinda forced to pick it

I was kind of forced to, but I could still pick the classes that interested me more. *He shrugs* Plus I really enjoyed my marketing major.

*thinks for a moment* Can I ask you something and have an honest answer? No bullshit PR answer. I'm just trying to figure out if we can trust you to be our future king through this, at the very least.

Sure *he nods, pursing his lips a little* Ask away.

Do you actually want to be the king of this country? Like aside from the perks you have from it, do you care about the work?

I do care. *he pauses, swallowing* I really do. It’s just...it’s a lot of pressure to accept from a young age.

*she thinks for a moment* Noted. Thank you for your honesty. *Looks at the basketball* Do you play much?

*he smiles kind of sadly* Not as much as I used to. I’ve gotten a little busy helping to run the country, and such.

*gets an idea* Do you wanna make a bet with me?

*he grins* Depends on what it is

Basketball. I'm working on a program right now with the ICLU, a coworker wants to come visit me and discuss about it but appreantly work visits aren't allowed during this. If I can get more hoops in you'll arrange that?

*he furrows his brows* Better yet, I could just organize for your coworker to visit under the guise of another event going on. Just give me a few weeks to work out the details.

*kinda chuckles because shes competitive* oh? Youre scared you'll lose? But if that's what you prefer

*he laughs* No, I just know I’d win, and I’d hate to deny you the ability to see your coworker

Fine. You'll set up the meeting, then I'll just prove to you that I would win had their beem stakes.

*he narrows his eyes at her, extending a hand to shake, still grinning* Deal

*shakes it firmly then kicks off her heels planning to walk to the court barefoot.* Would be an unfair advantage for me to still be in them

*he raises his eyebrows* Why, they helped square up the height difference between us, at the very least *he chuckles*

*almost elbows him over that but barely stops herself* I don't need that help. I'm perfectly capable of crushing you independent of my shoes

*he laughs* I played basketball in uni, you know?

As did I. Well- not in a club. A guy who I was *ponders for a moment* acquainted with, played it therefore I played with him and his friends fairly often

*he raises his eyebrows* And how tall was your acquaintance? Because I’m used to playing with people my height, but also my mom and sister, who are - *he puts his hand somewhere around his shoulder because they’re 5’4” and 5’5”* - about this tall

He was around 6'3. His friends the same or more. Don't worry I'm well aware of the disadvantage of my height and very prepared to utilize it

*he chuckles* Oh, I’ve got to see this. *when they get to the court he starts dribbling the ball casually, walking towards the middle of the court* Do you want to start with the ball, or should I?

*thinks for a moment and puts her shoes down on the edge of the court and rolls up the bottoms of her dress pants a bit* You can start with it.

*he raises his eyebrows at her rolling up her dress pants, but he nods* Okay, if you insist. *he waits until he’s ready before starting the play*

*she walks up prepared to steal since she cant block*

*he starts dribbling more seriously, quickly maneuvering around her, taking three large steps with the ball, and then shoots a basket, and it goes in*

*she kinda huffs about that dislikes. But once he has the ball again she tries again, this time getting it and doing her UNDER THE LEGS MOVE AND SHOOTS*

*he turns around, a little in shock* That is not a legal move!

Hmmm *puts her finger to her chin very smug* I dont think it explicitly says in the rules that you're not allowed too. You use your height I'll use mine *VERY SMUG*

*he narrows his eyes* Fine, best 2 out of 3? Whoever gets this next shot wins, then

*SHES BEING COCKY NOW* Aw is the wittle princey calling it quits so soon? His fragile ego damaged? *bats her eyes teasingly*

*he narrows his eyes* Fine, best three out of five, then. *he starts dribbling the ball right from here he is, and it’s a long shot to his basket from there, but he’s pretty confident, so he goes for it, and somehow it actually goes in. he raises his eyebrows at her* Still think you’re gonna win?

*crosses her arms* That was luck. *goes to get the ball since shes closer*

Or just sheer skill. *he smirks a little*

*turns to face him just to roll her eyes and gets the ball. She then dribbles it back to the middle or something idk how basketball works*

*he follows her to the middle, standing in front of her, knees bent in that “ready” position idk wtf it’s called lmao*

*that position makes knees wide so she dribbles and goes to do her fast under the leg move again*

*he sees it coming this time, and takes a few steps back, keeps his arm in front of him to reach for the ball, which he gets, and then dribbles across to the the hoop he has to score in, taking the shot, and watching it go in again. he grabs the ball as it bounces back up, raising his brows at savannah* One more, or are you good? *he grins a little*

*huffs again and crosses her arm* Fine we'll call it at 3 to 1. But in my defense it's been awhile.

*he grins* Well, you’re always welcome to practice out here with me, if you want.

I can't tell if you're being taunting or not *rolls her eyes and walks up to him then holds out her hand to shake for the end of the game*

*he takes her hand and shakes, then gives her a genuine smile* No taunting. I mean it. I’d love to have someone new to play with.

I'll consider it then. I am getting slightly bored of your homes running path for exercise.

*smiles back even tho she doesnt wanna because it was a nice offer*

*he tilts his head from side to side* Yeah, the running trail through the gardens is kind of short. There are better ones /in/ Angeles, if you ever want to check them out

Not sure I'm allowed to just waltz on out of here, but I'd love the names of any you know. My grandmother lives near her so I'm sure I'll be visiting soon enough after this if not immediately so.

*he shrugs* I could also drive you sometime, if you want. I /do/ have a car.

*seems a bit surprised* You know how to drive?

*he furrows his brows* Of course! I got my license as soon as I was legally allowed to.

But its not like you need too? Don't you have like drivers?

*he looks a little confused and taken aback* I’m sure some exist, but why would I want someone else to drive me when I could be free and drive myself?

I'm not sure. I just know rich people, like for example my cousin *mumbles for a moment to find the phrasing* So my grandmother is in charge of the Mars Candy Corporation. My mom's older brother Nathaniel will be taking over it, his kids also my cousins all have drivers. They're like twenty something now but Jackson is always bragging about how he doesn't have to take the effort to drive himself places. I just assumed other people who could afford them would have them, especially busy people who could work instead of drive.

*he blinks* Wow, I never even would have considered that. *he shakes his head* No, I like driving. Being able to roll the windows down and blast the music...it’s like a few moments of freedom. *he shrugs, smiling a little sadly*

*she noticed the smile then something clicks* so freedom is your vice. You act out to feel free, thus the partying. You mentioned earlier the responsibility of being a prince being am influence on the partying. A lack of freedom makes sense. *she knows shes getting too personal but her curiosity and worry for the future gets the best of her* But what does that mean you're going to do when you're king? You'll have even less. How do you plan to maintain that restriction without bursting and needing freedom?

*he stiffens a little at her analysis because damn it’s spot on, but sighs towards the end* Getting as much out of life as I can now. I always knew what my future held for me. So I can plan accordingly. *he forces a small grin, trying to joke* Besides, with any luck, I’ll be old and almost out of energy by the time I’m king.

*furrows her eyebrows concerned* That doesn't work. *sighs* Believe me I'd know. But we aren't wired to run off memories. Instead we develop habits and coping mechanisms. Everyone snaps from time to time, you'll go back to what made you happy last. For you I assume that'll be partying. Which is something you can't do as king, and assuming it wont be till your old isn't right either, regardless of if that was a joke it's not something that you can lean on since millions of people could be relying on you and you'd be unprepared. You are going to be king, You are not going to have freedom, you are going to be under immense pressure and responsibility, honest answer, what are you going to do when you need to snap?

*he narrows his eyes at her, this time more out of irritation than anything else, and he’s a little sarcastic* Gee, thanks for the reminder. Though, for the record, I /haven’t/ partied since uni, and I have no plans to in the near future. So perhaps I’ll rely on my other coping mechanism, such as basketball, or taking a drive.

Yeah well it's the truth and uni wasn't that long ago. It's hard to break habits. I mean I partied like 4 times a month in undergrad and I still use it. That was forever ago but that's not how humans work. You're gonna lean on what you've leaned on. You're going to get shitfaced, you're going to want what you used to have, you're gonna idolize those times in uni and want them back. But you're not going to have it and it's going to be hard and shitty but you have to tough it out because of the country that relies on you and this is proving to me that you're not going to be a reliable King for the people who need you.  

[alchemicalterror]

Self-implemented Parole

[ Below is a transcript of an RP between @askanarky​ and ol’ Jonny boy, involving Anarky’s breakout and aftermath. WIth special guest @riddlesandqueries​ and @echoandquery​

Trigger warnings: Adolescent Homelessness, swearing. ]

Fuck. Shit. God dammit. Fuck, Lonnie swears to himself, couldn’t stay hidden for two days, could he?

Here he is, leaning against the wall of the dentist’s-office-turned-failed-comedy-club-turned-pirate-radio-station-slash-hideout he’d been spending the day at. Beside him’s a wooden baseball bat, blood-red paint dripping down the business end, three posters, and an overfilled olive drab backpack absolutely covered in patches and safety pins. In his hands, a box of old clothes and records.

Bitterly, Lonnie wonders how much weight he’d lost. Six and a half months was a lot longer- or maybe shorter?- than he’d fully realized.

God, why’s he even humoring the old man? Ten bucks and he could already be gone. He’d find another shitty landlord to blackmail for an equally shitty studio apartment, and life’d go on like he never left.

...But then again, that wasn’t him. And plus, he owes Jon a lot and did kinda call him ‘dad,' and plus, he couldn’t feasibly cut him out entirely unless he left Gotham for good, and why would he do that, he’s got work to continue-

”Fuck.” Lonnie mutters under his breath, shifting his weight to his other leg.

"Fuck." Jon mutters, pulling his coat in tighter. He doesn't know jack shit about hijacked radio towers, and while his car is an unremarkable, beat-up old junker that he's had for years - it runs fine, there's no noises or weird smells, but the body has seen better days - why run into a headache with traffic, gas mileage, potentially being seen at an intersection with a recently escaped convict...?

'Course, nothing could hide how tall he is. And god damn it, it's April, it's supposed to be warm....

Jonathan mutters against the cold in vague irritation, gravitating towards the next set of charity drop-off boxes in vain hopes of actually tracking down the runt. Jesus, he should've asked for directions. At least he's in good shape.

"Me an' my motherfuckin' ide--" Pause. Squint, at someone who fits the stature in a beat up black hoodie, with a box.

"....Kid?"

The good thing about oversized hoodies is that, if you’re drowning in them enough, it can almost conceal how high you jump when something calls an epithet that can apply to you. Immediately, Lonnie crouches to quickly, but gently place his box down and grab his baseball bat in his place, then raises himself up into half of a batter’s stance at the source of the-

Wait. Tall man, absolutely orange hair, in a thrift-store jacket and blue jeans. Of fucking course.

”Jesus Christ,” he half-mouths. He lets his stance relax and his arms hang limply down in an exaggerated 'I-don’t-wanna-be-here' stance. “‘Ay.” Lonnie’s stage voice is remarkable, if a bit higher than his normal growl.

Jonathan grins, a bit, despite himself. Baseball bat? Good lad.

He lifts a hand in a wave, chuckling. "Nice to see you ain't without means, boy." Jon murmurs, nodding at the weapon. "Half kickin' myself I didn't get directions when abouts I could, I been walking around back alleys all afternoon."

"Legs could use a break, and I saw a beaten-down dive up the block some, folks don't glance at your face even when you're ordering in places like that. You wanna coffee or somethin' before we ship out?"

“....” Lonnie turns away for half a second, letting a puff of air escape his clenched teeth. “Hey, you said you didn’t need them.”

Hypocritical, coming from him. He’s at least trying to be a little friendly, through the obvious voice crack and the constantly-correcting tone. “...Fine, I guess? I mean, I’ve got what...” He backs away and unzips the front pocket of the backpack on the ground. A cheap leather wallet spills out (along with six separate embroidered circle-As in various shades of crimson.) He unfolds it and squints between the pockets, “....twelve...? Dollars on me? That’s enough for, like, a sandwich.”

"Come off it kid, I got paid yesterday, you ain't gotta spend what little you got on a sandwich. Save it, s'good to have bus money." And with that Jon turns, and waves Lonnie follow him. Tall as he is, he's long ago adopted a sort of ambling gait to make it easier for other people to keep up with his long stride.

The diner is, as estimated, utterly apathetic to the arrival of both Jonathan and Lonnie, save for the motions of seating them both. No odd looks are given to Lonnie's box of things, nor -- if he brought it along -- his bat. He was half-heartedly offered the opportunity to drop it in the umbrella rack, if he wanted to.

Jon takes a booth with a high back, and turns his attention toward the menu.

Lonnie, in fact, does put his baseball bat in the umbrella rack (only in Gotham,) and swings himself up onto the booth, squishing himself into the corner and placing his box under the table. His backpack’s placed right beside him.

He’s already small- especially compared to Jonathan- but he seems determined to make himself even smaller. Lonnie hunches over the table and scrutinizes the menu with one exposed eye, rapping his free hand on the table. Jonathan receives the occasional upwards glance from him.

Coffee. And a sandwich. Jon picks both, mentally placing his order, and sets the menu down.

"...After we order, I got some things to ask, arright?" He murmurs, keeping his voice low; the staff might not care, but patrons could. Best keep mumbly.

"Dinner's on me whatever you got to say, upfront. Ain't contingent on you givin' me answers you think I'm gonna wanna hear."

(The waitress does drift by, uninterested and unimpressed, to take their orders.)

Watching the waitress approach means Lonnie didn’t have the space to answer Jon in full; Instead, he flashes a thumbs up his way.

BLT, cherry Coke. Lonnie deserved something sweet, he thought. His menu comes down after Jon’s, and he doesn’t fully turn to place his order. He does, however, have the common sense for manners; “I’d like an egg BLT and a cherry Coke, please.”

"And I'd like a tuna sub and a black coffee, please, miss. Thank you kindly."

Their orders are noted down, and she drifts on to her next engagement - and Jon leans on the table, looking Lonnie over. Where to start. "....You got a place to stay?"

“I’ll get one.” Lonnie murmurs, implying that the answer’s actually no. “Old landlord probably won’t let me back in, not like I was actually paying for my old apartment anyway...” He murmurs as he passes the saltshaker between his hands. "...Right." Jonathan says, nodding slowly. "...If you need a place to crash a li'l while while you work him over, y'know - I got a guest room. Ain't got much more than a bed and a couple boxes and a desk, but it's dry an' the door locks." "...And like, if puttin' out on your own for a place don't work, I don't mind if you stay, right?" .... Hm. The saltshaker rests in his left hand.

“...You’re serious? C’mon, your job’s probably already batter-fried as is, if anyone finds out-”

Lonnie doesn’t trail off, per se, more than he just lets his throat close a little. “...Really? You really don’t-“

He’d be an absolute idiot to decline, but there had to be some kind of catch - ? - but Jon’s not that much of a jerkass.... "Kid, much as I'm sure you could find someone whose arm you could twist for a place, it don't sit right with me to just leave you in an alley to do that. I got the room, and - well, Arkham can just deal." Jonathan’s tone is flat.

"What they don't know ain't gonna hurt my career." Lonnie puts a fist to his rapidly-splitting mouth and exhales sharply. “‘Guess that is true,” he answers, then shakes two fingers at Jon. 

“...Shit, thanks, I guess? I didn’t... really expect you to show real concern, holy shit...” "What, you think it was just for appearances?"  Jon chuckles, genial. "Naw, son, I try to actually care 'bout the folks I work with, didn't get into this business on accounta I don't care about people."

"Look, after Dinner I'll help you carry shit, since I left the car at home." “Okay.” Lonnie doesn’t particularly feel like pushing it any more, so he doesn’t. 

“...How’d I not notice this place before?” He asks, mostly to himself. Or maybe he had, and he’d forgotten about it. Was it even worth forgetting?  Ech, everything was so overwhelming. As their food and coffee comes around, Jonathan turns his attention to the rogue chat, securing something, before starting to eat. Tuna melts are truly the mac and cheese of the sandwich world, and hard to get wrong.

[ Dr_J_C ] - Hey, Eddie, you on. [ E?Nygma ] - Yes? [ Dr_J_C ]  - You got a cab company you trust to keep their yaps shut [ E?Nygma ] - My henchwomen. [ Dr_J_C ]  - ...Think they'd be willing to come pick up me and a runaway? Wound up cross town and the kid's got luggage [ E?Nygma ] - Only one way to find out, really.

[ DM: E?Nygma to E&Q: Ladies? ] [ DM  E&Q to E?Nygma: [Q] You need something, Ed? ] [ DM: E?Nygma to E&Q: Yes, if you have the time tonight. Dr Crane is asking me about securing private transit that doesn't talk too much, if you catch my drift. Since you're both the pair I trust most on the matter, I thought I'd ask if you'd be willing to go fetch him and cart him wherever he needs to go. He's not in a stabbing mood, so it shouldn't be risky. ] [ DM  E&Q to E?Nygma: [Q] Not in a stabbing mood? Color me surprised.. but sure thing, Boss! [E] Dr. Crane requires transit? We aren’t busy, so we’ll be glad to pick him up, when needed. Anything that’s said will stay in the car, don’t you worry. ] [ DM: E?Nygma to E&Q: Peachy. Make him buy you dinner, huh? I'll forward the address: you know what to do if he starts giving you trouble, and where to send the bill. Thanks so much. ]

[ E?Nygma ] - Good news, Jonny, they'll do it. Have an address? [ Dr_J_C ]  - Yeah, hangon.... Down town, Eighth and Tuppence. The shitty diner.

[ DM: E?Nygma to E&Q: : Eighth and Tuppence, the "shitty diner", as he put it. ]

[ E?Nygma ] - I told them to make you buy them dinner. 

[ Dr_J_C ]  -  Yeah, sure, doesn't have to be from here. We just got our food, so - give it an hour? [ DM: E?Nygma to E&Q: He's asked for you to come in an hour, so you have time to get ready. ]

[ E?Nygma ] - Done and done, don't leave them waiting.

Before eating, Lonnie removes the top slice of bread from each sandwich half and salts the (perfectly over-medium) egg on top, then slides the salt to the other side of the table. He almost chokes on his first bite. God, he missed real food. "...Arkham food, huh." Jonathan chuckles, humorlessly. "Shit, every time I've gotten outta there, pizza boxes have looked appetizing."

"Eddie's henches are gonna be givin' us a ride. They ain't snitches, and I fancy our chances in one'a their cars than on foot."

“...Tall punk one n’ a short one?” Lonnie clarifies through a mouthful of BLT. Gulp. “Nice.”

“...Spent his ketchup money on Walgreens eyeliner and a burger. Should probably get online and tell ‘im once I get home, huh.” He pauses, putting down his sandwich for a second. “I told you the ketchup thing, right?”

Jonathan grins, lifting his coffee in a weird sort of salute. "Sure did. Bet you made with Eddie, right? Eyeliner and a bite's a good cause, then. He chomps down half his sandwich before turning his attention properly to coffee.

"...Good-ish news, the Asylum is pretty sure I didn't help you break out." "So they prob'ly ain't gonna assume I came got you, neither."

“Thank god,” Lonnie comments. “Like, not just ‘cuz your job’s still safe, that’s great, but god, I didn’t spend three weeks figuring out like, 80 million people’s schedules for a friend in a high place to get the stick, it’s my damn credit.” He pauses for a sip of soda. “...Is that the right metaphor? Doesn’t matter. ‘S.... nice y’aint in that deep shit.”

Another pause. “Jesus Christ, I just said ‘y’ain’t’ in complete earnest, what the fuck are you doing to me?” Lonnie laughs, leaning his head back and pulling down one eyelid. Jonathan barks a cheerful laugh, and even that is ignored by the utter apathy that is a back-street diner in Gotham. He shakes his head until it trickles down to a snicker and, grinning, drains the rest of his coffee before his attention returns to the perfectly adequate tuna melt.

"Naww, they had me doin' damage control, after talkin' to me a bit and nosing some at my notes. Shit, I didn't know a damn thing about your plans, and it showed, son, so oughta be fine."

"New's being shitty about it anyways, though, m'sorry about that." “I~’m aware,” Lonnie chimes rather sardonically, waiting to swallow this time. “Eh, GCN’s a bunch of corporatist bullcrap anyway. They don’t think I’m a real dude, I know they aren’t a real news station, cancels out.” It really doesn’t cancel out, but the shrug indicates either he’s actually fine or he doesn’t particularly want to talk about it.

Jonathan slowly nods, and makes a mental tick to get a tee-shirt made inviting people to physically fight him if they want to call Lonnie a girl. That's a dadly thing to do, right?

"...So,” Jon starts, slowly, “Y'all called me dad."

Groan. “Uh, I’m sorry?” Lonnie shrugs to accompany the nonapology— not like it was worth applogizing for. “Slip of the tongue, like callin’ a teacher ‘mom,’ y’know?”

He sucks the rest of his Coke down and sets the tall plastic glass back on the table. Jon laughs, sitting back himself and uncrossing his arms. "Dunno where all I said I was upset about it, son." His grin is lazy and easy, and he just shrugs.

"Y'all see me as a father figure?" ... Does he? ... “I mean— you’re what, two and a half times my age n I’ve seen more of you  in the, what, three-ish months since you took my case than anyone else, not to mention you’re like...” Lonnie cycles through various expressions as he speaks, apparently directing his explanation at his fingernails. (Note the lack of a solid answer.) 

He doesn’t mention what Jon’s like. Soon, he throws his forehead into one hand, rubbing his temples.

“I mean—- no, but also not no?” "...So, solid maybe." Jon suggests, wiping crumbs off his hands with a chuckle. "Right, well that ain't somethin' you gotta come up with an answer to today, son. Right now, priority's makin' sure you don't get picked up by the cops two days after a breakout."

"And,” he adds, “Not leavin' you to find a half-comfortable Alley to try an' make a sleeping spot from."

“Mmh,” Lonnie affirms through his last bite of BLT (emphasis on the L.) “In my defense, I spent like... the first third’a my sophomore year doin’ that, I’ve got practice.” He jokes, sending finger-guns Jon’s way. “But yeah, let’s leave that for later, ‘kay?”

"Sounds good." Jonathan pulls out his wallet, leafing through it and leaving the bill in cash, with a generous tip. No, the bill hasn't actually arrived yet, but he's pretty good at math. Something about being a Chemist, maybe. 

"Ed's girls oughta be here in a nother couple minutes, so - you wanna hit the washroom or anything 'fore we head outside?"

#Jonathan Crane #Regarding Lonnie Machin #Askanarky #RP Log #Long Post #Plot #with Digital Cameos by: #Edward Nygma #Nina 'Echo' Damfino #Diedre 'Query' Vance

[sebastianshaw]

@cadreformed here are some pros and cons of RP boards! Posted in case it’s helpful to others or they have something to add: CONS - Picking a board in the first place. With Tumblr you don’t need to choose what kind of place is going to be a good fit or looks promising, you just make a damn blog. With boards, you might care about how it’s organized, what the plot is, what the rules are, and if it’s a newer or older board. Some people prefer newer boards because they don’t like having to be the new person amidst a bunch of people who have a ton of established stuff between them. Some people like older boards because they know they won’t close in a week due to inactivity or people losing interest. I prefer newer boards myself. - Committing. You theoretically can just board-hop and drop boards but it’s like...kinda rude, imo? Also there are activity requirements at most about how much you have to post per month to keep your characters. You can take breaks of course but you have to give notice, not just disappear, or your characters might be deleted or go up for grabs, and you will miss stuff (plot events, etc) and risk getting left behind if you’re gone long enough. The boards I’m at just require two posts a month per character but many are more stringent. - Everything takes place in one shared universe. It’s not like Tumblr where every interaction is in its own verse. So like you can’t have a Brotherhood, X-Men, and Hellfire verse, you gotta pick a faction, your stuff will all take place in a linear timeline, etc. - You also generally need more justification for interaction on board threads, it’s not like Tumblr where you can just have your two characters randomly in the same space like with asks and one-liners. So the posts are typically longer and take more thought/commitment to throw two people together if they’re not, say, living in the same base or something. -Everyone who is at the board, is at the board. So if you don’t like someone you just have to put up with them being there, no just unfollowing like with Tumblr. If they’re actually awful/do something that breaks the rules (boards always have rules against harassment, bigotry, etc) of course you can report them but if they just like bug you or you don’t like how they write...unfortunately you just gotta endure it. You don’t HAVE to thread with anyone you don’t want to, but you do take the chance that they will respond to your opens if you make them and that you may have to put up with them during group threads (which are common during board plot events that everyone joins in on) - You need to apply to play, they have an application form for your character. Some are longer and more intense than others, some are almost just writing their names and grabbing an FC. Your character will need to fit the setting, timeline, etc of the board, but most admins in my experience are glad to help with that. You will usually need to be fairly specific about the abilities and limitations your character’s powers have, make sure the character makes sense to the admin’s standards, and some sites will have banned characters or banned concepts. Banned characters usually include “god” type characters (ex: Galactacus) or other “board-breakers” who are just too OP, reality warpers, and banned concepts are typically things like, sorry, OC children of canons. - You can’t always just...do what you want. Like if I wanted to say “Anne Marie is in space this week” I would have to justify it to the admins of how the fuck this happened, why it is happening, etc. You don’t just get to do anything crazy you want like with Tumblr, where you answer only to you. On the plus side though, no one else gets to pull off ridiculous shit out of nowhere on you either like “oh my character is ACTUALLY the god emperor of the universe” PROS - Plots provided! Most boards have an overarching plot and many will do new miniplots per month. Both the X-Men boards I’m at do that and it’s good fun, always something fresh! It also means you don’t always have to think up shit that’s happening because the admins have done it for you, all you have to do is have your muse participate and react to what they throw at you. It can make for some really fun unexpected situations that bring out stuff in your muse you never accounted for! - No hunting for partners, they’re all right there! You instantly have an RP group upon being accepted. There may still be people who just choose not to thread with you, hell there are people at the boards I’m at who I prefer not to write with and people I absolutely LOVE writing with, but it’s not like Tumblr where you have to LOOK for folks and hope your little blog gets noticed, everyone at the board knows you are there. Most will be happy to do stuff with you too. You will often make friends this way and it’s pretty great, much like with Tumblr friendships <3 - Linear progression can make for more clear character development? Like because most boards move in real time (like from month to month) and have dated threads (ex: “Sept 13, 2020, 6 PM”) you can have much more clear character arcs, and because it all takes place in one universe, what’s going on in ALL your threads will affect your character, unlike on Tumblr where the multiversal nature means that like...if Shaw gets a ton of development but just with ONE person in ONE verse, it doesn’t affect him with anyone else. Admittedly this can also be a con cuz like, if you want Tova to be grievously injured in a thread, that means all her threads AFTER that will have her in recovery until she heals. Stuff like that. - Because everything is in one universe with established rules and admins to moderate things, everyone’s canon lines up with each other. There’s no hassle with trying to make an X-Men universe character mesh with a DnD universe character. It also means everyone is running on the same power system (like, Sailor Moon and DBZ have very different systems) and it’s clear who is at what level. Admins will also try to mitigate to make sure no one is too OP, and will have your back if someone godmods. - Admins in general are a good thing to have because they are who steps in if someone is metagaming, harassing you, etc. It’s not just you on your own. You shouldn’t call on them to work out every personal issue you have with someone, but most have a zero tolerance policy for bullying, bigotry, etc. TL;DR There are more rules and less freedom, and you are making a bigger commitment. The payoff is you get a lot of things provided to you---plots to participate in, a pre-made setting, a pool of waiting partners---that you would have to make/find yourself on Tumblr. I personally have very much enjoyed the structure and plots of boards, but also recommend being very choosy too.

#out of shirt

[nxtehqs]

hiii, everyone !! i’m lacey. i’m 22 years old in the gmt+1 tmz with she/her pronouns. i am beyond excited to get into this rp !! i’m so glad you all decided to apply and fulfill my dreams. this is a really old muse of mine that i’m really excited to get to play once again. i hope you all hate love him just as much as i do !! excuse how terribly rushed this intro is, but i’m lazy and i gotta help my paps with something real quick. enjooyyyy.

[ harry styles, cismale, 21 ] did you see NATHAN ‘NATE’ SINCLAIR ? looking as broke as ever. rumor has it HE is usually -CYNICAL and -OBSTINATE but is also known to be +PLACID and +DEBONAIR. we’ll see about that. they kind of remind me of DEEP FROWN CREASES, RESTLESS NIGHTS, MORNING AFTER HAIR. maybe because they’re a SCORPIO. they’ve been living around here for 7 YEARS. i wonder when they’ll make it out…

**please feel free to read up on nate’s statistics HERE !!

nathan ‘nate’ sinclair was born on november 7th, 1998 to christopher and amelia sinclair. he was the middle child of three.

and as the stereotype goes, the middle child is the forgotten child. which was definite for nate. he always got his older brothers hand me downs. for christmas, he got toys that his older brother had gotten before that he was now bored of

the sinclair family were originally born and raised in a small village known as lacock, wiltshire in england. 

christopher and amelia sinclair were two extremely religious parents who devoted their lives to the church and and spoke highly of the bible. nate’s father would read a passage before each meal they shared together.

money was always an issue for the sinclair family. they were almost only going to send the eldest brother to school because they couldn’t afford it. but christopher prayed every day for a better life for their family

and that was when christopher was offered a huge job opportunity across the globe in south carolina, usa. he was convinced that this was as a result of the workings of god. 

not too long later, their home in lacock was sold and the family got the most affordable flight to south carolina.

they moved to crawford when nate was fourteen years old

nate immediately took a liking to the states. previously, he had always struggled to make friends because he wasn’t one to talk much. he’d always been socially awkward. but living here, he made a friend in his neighborhood quite quickly ( AVAILABLE PLOT ? )

his siblings were his friends before but when they moved to the usa, his brother and sister found their own friends and quickly, they drifted apart. what was once endless laughter and cheers quickly turned into yelling and constant arguing.

when nate was 17, he was around that age when he was beginning to explore his sexuality. the worst mistake he ever made was doing just that but at his own home. that night when his dad walked in on his son straddling the lap of some boy was by far the worst night of his life. ( AVAILABLE PLOT ? )

he grabbed his arm and pulled him off the other, and yelled ‘how could you?!’ over and over, as if nate had done something wrong. 

for months, christopher didn’t speak to his son. he watched him with disapproving stares, eyes of pure disgust. the tension at the dinner table was awful. and nate noticed how his dad always make sure to quote particular passages in the bible. every night.

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her,” or  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh,”

Nate tried to explain to his father that he did love women. but he loved men too. and that wasn’t a bad thing. christopher didn’t want to hear a word of it, and insisted that there was something wrong with nate for him to think like that.

not even half a year later, nate’s dad lost his job. the only source of income was nate’s mother, amelia, on minimum wage at the local cafe. immediately, christopher took it out on nate. he blamed it on him, insisting that it was god punishing them for nate’s sins.

the constant mental abuse from his father left nate in a way that could be described in no other way then sad, lonely, and insecure. he felt as if the whole world was against him. any friends he had, he slowly drifted from and struggled to make anymore. 

he spent almost every day in his room, keeping to himself and perhaps reading or learning something new. something nate prided himself in was his intelligence. he was always top of the class, and had never in his life failed a test. he actually enjoyed studying, because it was one of the few things that distracted his mind. his dream was to some day be able to afford college, or get a scholarship somewhere.

as nate got older, he found that it actually wasn’t as scary walking into the local pub and ordering yourself a drink underage. the first few times, he was rejected because the bar tender knew his family. but when the gossip spread that the owner of the pub had passed away, and someone else had bought it, nate found himself as a regular customer. a whole year passed, and he wasn’t asked for id.

now that he’s 21, he wished he was because he could now show off his age card.

since he started going out more, going to the pub or the few take aways around town, nate discovered a new way to distract his mind. a way almost as enjoyable as studying. sex. is he really kinky ? that’s a secret he’d never tell. xoxo

was he embarrassed that he quickly became known as one of the biggest fuck boys around the village ? not at all. nate stopped caring a long time ago. what was the point?

besides, he didn’t understand why people were so mad. all he wanted was a quick hook up with no strings attached. it wasn’t his fault that some people just didn’t understand that. 

nate wasn’t the greatest flirt but with a smirk and some showing off of his dimples, he could get his way. 

but nate hated people who played hard to get. if you’re going to drag it on, then he didn’t have time for you. why? because nate knows he has a tendency to fall for anyone who’s nice to him. 

last time someone was all cute, and nice and kind and adorable and teased him and played hard to get and was all annoying but beautiful...nate spent a good week crying because they didn’t like him back. ( AVAILABLE PLOT ? )

he swore to never embarrass himself like that again but it was only a matter of time.

because he’s a crier and he hates that.

nate tries to act like he doesn’t care but he so cares. in reality, he’s quite the softy. he cries reading books or watching sad movies, he falls weak when people kiss his forehead, he loves cuddling. he’ll never admit it but he’d actually like to get married and have kids some day. but not for a long time.

for now, his dream is college and to make enough money to travel the world and prove his parents wrong. or to just move out and away from his god awful family.

he may come across as rude or standoffish or like an asshole but it’s all an act, do not be fooled. he will start fights to seem cool but end up getting his ass beat. 

he does love gossip and drama but hates being involved. if he hears about something happening, he needs to know about it. 

okay that’s all i can think of for now i’ll add more later xoxoxoxoxoo

#crawford:intro #intro

[ladymelissaduthe]

Challenge #2.5

Aka The Greenhouse RP with Jackson (Night Mode)

a/n: hello, this is probs going to be my last fic for a while but it’s my last deliverable in my pending RPs BJKSNJBDBKSJDKSD 

this now is my fav fic so far and I hope you can pick up why AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA (also the secret ™™™ is kind of explored a little more here... hehe) Thank you Bri @jackson-graham for this RP, and for Jackson being the sweetest, most patient person... EVER BJSKDKSJD I LOVE HIM. Okay, I hope you enjoy JKSKJDNKJD (3457 words)

I really love plants.

Plants didn’t hurt your feelings when you ask them if they’re doing okay.

Plants don’t make you cry.

Plants don’t curb your enthusiasm about finding love again. They just mind their own little business and make you smile with how pretty they are.

I wish the plants could give me a hug right now.

Oh gosh I was going to ruin this gown with all the tear stains. Not that anyone was going to see me in it anyway. I’ve been alone in this greenhouse for hours. If I was going to be sad over my hopes getting crushed, might as well be sad in the middle of a beautiful greenhouse in a pretty dress. I liked the quiet here more than being left alone in my room. The sun had set hours ago, leaving the greenhouse to look pretty in the moonlight, and moonlight alone.

It’s been a couple of hours since Arin had brought us back to dock close to the palace. I’m not sure if going back to my room alone was a blessing or a curse. I think that’s when that overwhelming feeling of dread started to loom over me.

No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop the sinking feeling I got when I thought about my date earlier with Arin today. I couldn’t stop myself from letting the tears fall. I bend over the bench and bury my face in my hands. Grammy said that it was okay to cry at the end of a long tiring day.

How could someone be so…

“Missy?”

I hear someone call my name from behind me, it was a soft sound.

I immediately sit up, and look over to find the source of it. Surprised that someone would be here at this time. The greenhouse wasn’t the most well-lit at night, but the moonlight was enough to see who called out my name.

Dark hair, nice brows, warm eyes.

“Jackson,” I say in recognition. This is the first time I’ve heard my voice in hours. It was hoarse. Oh god, if I sounded that bad I must look even worse right now. I push some of my hair behind my shoulder. I didn’t want him, anyone, see me like this. “Hi.”

Hi? Is that all I could really say?

“What happened?” Jackson takes a step closer to the bench I was sitting on, a look of visible concern on his face.

Did I look that miserable?

I reach up to rub my eyes, looking down to my skirt. My gut tells me to keep on crying and just not answer the question. I couldn’t even bring myself to call my Grammy and tell her what happened today. Still, I take a breath, I don’t think I could take another moment of keeping this to myself.

“My date with Arin happened.”

“This bad?” his voice was calm as he approaches and kneels in front of me around my eye level, his hand on the seat of the bench to brace himself.

“It was terrible.” I sigh in frustration as I feel some more tears fall from my eyes. Jackson didn’t look too comfortable kneeling. There was plenty of space on the bench anyway.

I let myself slide down the side bench, making sure that the skirt of my dress took as little space as possible. “Can I offer you a seat?”

It was the least I could for someone who seemed willing to listen to my woes.

There’s a beat before Jackson moves to sit next to me on the bench, his arm resting on the bench, his eyes not once leaving me. His free hand quickly pats the pockets of his jacket over his t-shirt. I watch curiously as he digs into his pocket and brings out a pale blue, cloth napkin. The nice kind, the fancy kind. He was offering it to me.

“It’s no handkerchief, but it’s what I have at the moment.”

I eye the napkin for a moment. It was more than enough. I thought as I took the napkin.

“Thank you.” I give Jackson a small smile of appreciation before I start dabbing my eyes. Thank God I wore waterproof mascara today. I don’t know why I wasn’t smart enough to bring a handkerchief for my tears with me here. I sigh. “I—uh…”

As much as I wanted to air and let out everything that was weighing me down right now, I remembered that Jackson was a family friend of Arin’s. What would Jackson think of me if I started dragging his friend’s name in the mud? What if he told Arin after?

“You can tell me if you’d like.” He tilts his head with a kind gaze. “I  won’t… who I am doesn’t matter right now.”

I shlump into the bench, wiping my eyes again with the napkin. Jackson’s been nothing but kind to me, he wouldn’t do that.

“It started out alright,” I try to recount and summarize the date to make the long story short. “but it seemed like there was something bothering him… so I asked if he was alright or if he needed to talk like a normal person would.”

Do you need to get something off your chest? Someone to talk to?

I glance back to Jackson, “and…”

A sardonic chuckle.

Missy, all I need right now is for us to get this date over with. I don’t need a babysitter.

“…he snapped at me.”

“He was angry?” Jackson raises his brows, looking like he was trying to understand the situation.

I blink, shaking my head. “I’m not quite sure but it seemed like he was.”

If there was one thing I learned from that date about Arin, it was that boy had one boulder sized chip on his shoulder.

My hands start fidgeting again. I hate when I did that but it was comforting. I feel for my ring on my right, I look down at my hands. . There was no need for him to be so pointed all the time. “Every time I asked him a question about himself, he seemed off… and he was like… dismissing every suggestion I made after that.”

Are you gonna try to dismiss every single thing I try to suggest to you?

What do you want from me Melissa?

I sigh, feeling another tear fall.

“Oh,” Jackson mumbles. He sighs and glances away. “I don’t think that’s exclusive to you, Missy.” He brings his gaze back to me. “I’ve been hearing a lot of things about his dates.”

I think my concern just multiplied at that last sentence. God, I can’t imagine how the other girls’ dates went.

“The first time we met, you told me that he was kind.” I feel my brows knit remembering how I tried to remind myself that throughout the whole afternoon, every time I felt horrible while talking to Arin.

“I remembered that above all things that happened, but…” I shake my head, my hands fidgeting with each other more now. “… there was nothing kind in what he said to me.”

I watch as a grimace forms on Jackson’s usually calm face, I didn’t mean to drag him into this. He hangs his head for a moment with a sigh.

“I’m so sorry that I was wrong. I didn’t… I didn’t think it would result in this.” He makes a light gesture towards me, looking guilty.  

I felt horrible looking at him now, I didn’t mean to make him feel guilty. He meant the best when he told me that. I’ve made this even worse. I feel my eyes water some more at that, tears falling again onto my dress.

“I don’t think anyone would have expected that my date would have resulted in the way it did.” I try to take the blame away from Jackson. He had nothing to do with it. I shut my eyes and try to compose myself. I shouldn’t be blaming anyone else other than myself and Arin. Even with my eyes closed, I feel the tears fall.

“Sorry. You probably think I’m being over dramatic.”

“No, of course not.” He shakes his head. “The last thing you expected was for Arin to be like this.” A deep, deep frown forms on his face. “And you certainly didn’t deserve it.”

“It’s just... Oh gosh, I had a feeling that he had some chip on his shoulder, what with that broken off engagement but—” I stop myself when I look at Jackson, then at my ring.

But Arin had no right to be such an asshole with his broken engagement. I mean… look at me. I’ve tried to stay positive despite the fact that the only person I loved for seven years left me on our wedding day.

I couldn’t say that to Jackson, or anyone here really. What would everyone think if they knew? Not entirely good for my image.

I huff out a breath, feeling my heart get heavy at that. “I’m just… disappointed.”

Disappointed by another man, what’s new? Was it always going to be this way for me?

“I don’t have any more defense for him if it resulted in you disappointed, crying with me. I’m sorry.” The sincerity in Jackson’s voice made me want to cry.

Breathe. I let myself huff out a breath before sobering up, trying to stop myself from crying even more. This was a mess. This was my mess.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this.” My eyes look down onto the napkin. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else to come here, I mean… I didn’t want to bother anyone with… the crying and all…”

I look back up, eyeing him curiously. “Why are you here? If you don’t mind me asking… of course.”

“I couldn’t find these for a week.” He gestures to the sunglasses hanging from his shirt. “Turns out they were here,” he smiles a bit, “And you’re not bothering me. Not at all.”

A small smile tugs on my lips at that last thing he said.

“Oh, you must have left those when you came here for your mom’s bouquet.” Couldn’t quite believe that was a week ago. Which reminds me… “How’d your mom like the flowers, by the way?”

Jackson’s smile widens a fraction, “She thought they were beautiful. You have quite the talent.”

That was one piece of good news I was happy to hear.

“It was nothing,” I shake my head, clasping my hands together on my lap. “I was just happy to help you out.”

“Can I do something to help you? Right now?”

I can’t believe how genuinely kind Jackson was.

“Well from the way things turned out today… got a time turner with you?” I laugh in frustration, the sad kind. Deep down, a part of me regretted applying for all of this. “I’m pretty sure Arin’s gonna send me home any time soon.”

A quiet chuckle from Jackson, “If he sends you home, he’s going to have to send every Selected home. You’re not alone in this.”

It felt like I was alone though.

I close my eyes at that thought, throwing my head back with a sigh.

“I can’t imagine everyone else’s date going the same way mine did.” I turn to Jackson, managing out a smile for the experience. “This was all fun while it lasted.”

“There wasn’t one good moment? At all?”

“During the date?” I let myself think, trying to grasp for something that I could maybe share with my future children 10 years from now when they ask about this whole experience and my one date with the prince. “Well... he made a boat joke that was... slightly funny. Kind of sad for the two of us but... funny.”

Well, then at least we’re in the same boat.

In more ways than one, I suppose.

That statement was more ironic than Arin probably knew.

Jackson slumps back into the bench a bit with a sigh, his arm still resting on top of its back.

“If slightly funny is the best he can do… It’s at least a start.”

That’s what I thought too.

I slump back against the bench too.

“It wasn’t the best first date experience…” I chuckle to myself, genuinely laughing at a thought “but I barely have the experience for more than one comparison.”

And the memory was still one of the happiest moments of my life.

“Haven’t dated much?” his tone was casual, conversational—breaking my train of thought.

“Just one person.” I reply, giving an explanation I’ve given a hundred times whenever someone asked me what happened between me and Daniel. “Stayed together for a couple of years until... he ended it a few years back. Been on my own since then.”

I clench my right fist. I stopped being angry and sad about him a long time ago.

“I’m not much different.” Jackson says, holding one finger up.

Oh. It was hard to imagine that for Jackson… someone ending things with someone so genuine and kind. Not sure why, but… it was difficult to imagine it.

“You know I was hoping this time it was going to be different. Well, it was definitely different alright.” I manage a self-deprecating laugh.

“Would it be insensitive of me to tell you to not lose all hope yet?”

“The only thing I’ve got left to lose is a little piece of hope.” I don’t even know where that piece of hope came from, but it was there. I sigh, “It wouldn’t be insensitive at all, more comforting really.”

I reach up to wipe my eyes, realizing that I’ve actually stopped crying. I look around, realizing I was sitting in the spot Jackson had told me about the last time we were here together. I had to give it to Jackson’s suggestion, this part of the greenhouse had a great view.

Still a great view couldn’t erase what happened during my date or the impending sense of doom of me leaving. I look over to Jackson, wondering what was going on in his head. Finding me here… when all he was supposed to find were his sunglasses.

“This is going to sound weird but, what’s working in an animal shelter like?” I ask out of the blue, but knowing full well that I wanted to talk about something, anything, other than what happened today.

As I expected, Jackson looks surprised at my question before saying with slightly raised brows. “Honest answer?”

“Sure.” It was nice to not be dismissed every time I asked a question unlike earlier. Sure meant, yes please I needed a normal conversation not about this Selection.

“It’s hard.” He says, his eyes looking forward. “Lots of animals, easy to love, but not easy to see what’s been done to them. Or witness how plenty of them are looked over for other animals.” Suddenly, a small smile lights up his face.

“Still. I love them all, which I can only hope is enough.”

I didn’t quite realize that aspect of working with animals or at a shelter but…

“I’ve always… wondered how those animals could go through what they’ve been through; but still end up loving their owner above it all.” I say before feeling the corners of my lips tilt up, Jackson’s smile infectious. “I’m sure you loving them all is more than enough.”

Jackson then turns to me, “They know when they’re loved and valued. Much like people.”

But even people can’t tell when they’ve stopped being loved.

“Nothing more pure than that.” A thought runs through my mind, one that I thought about earlier during my date with Arin too.

“I suppose the happiest businesses come with a couple of not so happy strings attached, huh?”

Weddings, working at an animal shelter… Work like that always requires a level of generosity, expecting nothing in return other than people’s happiness.

A soft laugh comes from Jackson as he looks down for a moment before looking back up to me, “It only makes you value that happiness more. That way…” he lifts a shoulder, “you know what you’re missing out on.”

I liked conversations like these… the kind where you realize certain things that you weren’t afraid to think out loud.

“I never want to miss out… on the happiness I mean.” I say, shifting to prop my head on my arm up on the back of the bench, but accidentally hitting the arm Jackson was resting on the back of the bench. “Oh, sorry.”

“Oh, it’s my bad.” He says, pulling his arm away, suddenly feeling his hand bump the side of my head.

Ouch. I wince on the impact, not expecting it. I reach up to the spot he bumped.

“Oh jeez, I’m sorry.” he seems to wince too, reaching out to my head. “Did that hurt?”

I shake my head. I was just surprised.

“No, no, it’s alright.” I try to give him a reassuring smile, using my free hand to gently bring down the hand he had reached out to me. “I’m fine. It was just a small bump.”

Jackson still looks concerned despite my reassurance, glancing to my head. “The last thing you needed was someone to hit you on the head after crying.”

Of all things that happened to me today, he was concerned with a little bump.

“It was an accident. Nothing I can’t handle.” I try to laugh it off, looking down to his arm. I had hit his arm first.

I turn his hand over gently, making sure there wasn’t any damage from my end.

“Anyway, I accidentally hit your arm first. Is your arm okay?”

Um…wow, his hand was warm.

He just blinks for a moment, then softening on sight before saying, “Yeah. Yeah it’s… fine.”

“That’s good to hear.” I say before letting go of his hand, and tucking my hands on my lap, shifting forward so I could avoid anymore bumping into him. “Sorry again about that and uh… for crying…”

Jackson takes his back, still staring at me when he replies. “I hope that besides my… violence” he sounds embarrassed about that, “you feel a little better.”

“Well talking to you has helped me a lot.” I wipe my eyes, proving a point. “See? No tears left.”

A smile tugs at his lips. “I hope that lasts. Finding you crying is not something I’d like to make a regular occurrence.”

“Well it’s not gonna happen again if your friend sends me home after today.” I remark, pushing some of my hair behind my shoulder with a sigh.

“Hey,” he says gently and I turn my head to him, “you came to this palace for a wonderful opportunity. It can still turn out to be that way even with some,” he pauses, “obstacles in the way.”

“I can only hope something good can come out of this.” I say before a yawn escapes me. I look back at Jackson, feeling embarrassed at that. “Sorry.”

I suppose crying…. really tired me out.

He maintains his smile, “Would you like me to walk you back? It’s late already.”

I shake my head, knowing full well that Jackson’s done more than enough for me.

“I’d like to walk back to my room alone, if that’s alright. A little time to think after everything that happened today.”

“I understand.” He says nodding before leaning back. “I um… I hope tomorrow is better for you.”

“Thank you… for the talk,” I look down, searching for the napkin Jackson had given me earlier and holding it up. “and this napkin.”

I push myself up and off the bench, careful not to fall despite just wearing flats. “I really needed it.” This time, I feel myself smile brightly. “I’ll hopefully see you around again.”

It was odd how I always bumped into Jackson.

Jackson stands with me and I realize something. He was taller than me when I wasn’t wearing heels. An inch I suppose.

“It was my pleasure, Missy. Hopefully is right,” he says with a soft boyish smile, stepping backwards. “Have a good night, okay?”

“I’ll try to.” I nod once, my smile softening. “Have a good night, Jackson.”

I wave lightly as I take a step back and watch as he makes his way down to the closest exit. I take it as my cue to head to the main exit, but before I leave, I catch him look over his shoulder once, and he smiles over to me—just before he’s fully gone from my sight.

I look up, and thank whoever I could thank for sending Jackson and that conversation my way.

The sinking feeling was gone from my chest.

#selectionoc #selection oc #melissa duthe #missy fics #~jackson tag #((yieeeeeeeeeee)) #((hand bumping made me sCREECH))

[blooming5th]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Pretty strictly, I think? I mean... I do always try my best to stick to canon events because although I am a big fan of AUs, I absolutely suck at writing canon-divergent characters. I also look out for possible dialectisms that come from Hinamori & put some work towards Hinamori’s personal development; all of this according to whatever has happened to her in canon / is shown by her in canon.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  There’s an entire world waiting beyond Hinamori’s pretty face? She’s still pretty much just a baby when in comparison to many other Lieutenants (being the second youngest, right after lil Yachiru), which makes her super innocent and funny. She’s also very upbeat, easy-going, and friendly! She’s such a devoted Lieutenant and honestly a great worker? Super strong with her kido spells, too! A great student?! A very, very good girl, honestly! She’s the greatest person you will ever meet, I swear to GOD !!

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  Most of the people, from what I can perceive from reading different opinions and have read through my years in Bleach forums and such, is that she’s pretty mentally weak. Hinamori seems to be extremely unbalanced and the previously mentioned devotion actually becomes... a weakness? Although I don’t agree with it ( mostly because I do believe her devotion towards Aizen was induced and not... something natural ), I can understand what people mean by this. Also, she mostly uses magic spells and keeps herself at a certain distance when in combat;; which people might easily perceive as her being weak when it’s just... her fighting style and body stature.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  I have roleplayed Hinamori for over 6 years now? almost 7, actually. I made this blog in 2014, however, I was supposed to be writing Hitsugaya. I ended up changing my entire blog’s aesthetics, not even a week later, to match Hinamori and decided to try her out. Why? Well... long story short... the fandom was full of Hitsugaya blogs. asjhdfasjdhfg I didn’t want simply be just one more in the ocean of amazing Hitsugaya writers;; so I decided to write someone who gave me access to heavy development ( because there was so little content back then ) and fun times ! lil peach was the obvious answer!

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  Most of the time its music? Whenever I decide to focus on an rp blog, I create a go-to playlist that helps me channel the muse’s traits and helps me write with more ease! That... and re-reading manga pages that might make me come up with headcanons, which I, later, always tend to apply to threads. Oh yeah, uh... LMAO! How could I forget? Talking to friends and discussing things with them, also often lets my creativity soar and helps me channel my muse’s persona. uwu

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. 

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. 

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Honestly, yes? I am a person that needs to receive constant criticism & is very open about it, too. I often find myself asking for criticism & find myself craving for bigger improvement.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  HELLS TO THE YES !! But then again... who doesn’t? It makes me so so happy whenever I receive a question or a simple message that might help me develop Hinamori’s character traits or behaviours? I love my girl so much;; knowing that others want me to gush about her amazingness & make her grow even more is nothing but an honour to me, tbh.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Well... yeah? But not in a bad way, of course! I absolutely love discussing headcanons and getting different points of view from things ( such as headcanons, in this specific topic ) so I can center myself and find a clearer way to analyze things! Discussing headcanons is dope, man!

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  This is going to be a pretty short response cause ;; I don’t care? I’m not here to really... please others. I’m here to have fun for my own self and to enjoy writing with other amazing fellas. Ain’t nobody gonna rain on my parade with unnecessary negativity;;

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  I haven’t ever seen many people hate Hinamori’s character? However, I do have seen quite the few people disregard her as the important character she is, or reduce her to a level that doesn’t... entirely fit the reason why she was created. Still, it’s none of my business. I don’t let it get to me or feel... the need to do anything about it? Or even talk about it? I can’t really change people’s views, so I often would just rather love my baby peach and let others do as they please.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  ABSOLUTELY? It’s even part of my rules like ;; please tell me if you ever find a grammatical error ANYWHERE in my blog. English isn’t my mother tongue and thus it can be very difficult for me to keep up with fancy writing while also sticking to correct grammar? idk if this makes sense but... yknow.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I do think I am very easy going kind of fella? Sometimes it takes me forever go get to messages ( both through discord & IMS ), but I think that’s because lately I’ve been feeling super emotionally drained ;; I haven’t been out of my goddamn house for three months and I sincerely miss seeing faces that aren’t my parents. I did take a drive the other day but... sobs... it left such a bittersweet taste. ANYWAY !! Yes. I’m very easy going and talkative. Also a big, big enthusiastic? And positivist! I am someone who always prefers to stick to the bright side of life and ignore anything that might be the least problematic so yeah ~ I am uwu. Come meet me. I’m cool. I swear.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @hirako5hinji​   ( aka the greatest taichō ever. uwu go to bed harder next time, Anna. ♡ ) Tagging: ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT !! just steal it from me. be gay. do crimes.

#🌺 ✖ ✖ 𝕗𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕙'𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 — ♡ ic challenges // #🌺 ✖ ✖ 𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕟'𝕤 𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 — ♡ ooc challenges // #( this was so much fuuuuuuuuuuuuun omg I'm cryin #but it took me forever to get to ?? so OOF )