#I’m in pain that we didn’t get this

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]

Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.

I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.

Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise karai #rise leo #rottmnt karai #rottmnt leo #I think a lot about these two in particular #and how that dynamic could have flourished #the way it was depicted in the finale is so purposefully unique and painful like #that hug man #can you imagine how much more heartbreaking that would have been if we knew her longer #not that it wasn’t already sad but we just simply didn’t know her long enough to be completely attached #also imo having more episodes with her and in general would have presented something I’ve been thinking about since the finale #so like - I like to think each bro kinda immediately leans more toward certain family members #Mikey has Draxum #Donnie has April #Raph has Splinter because this is another one that would be SO GOOD and make the finale moment where Raph sees his memories hit harder #if they had an ep or two more of Splinter and Raph together bc I really do feel like Raph respects Splinter most of the four #and finally- Leo has Karai #and then he loses her #imo? this would align with the movie even more #because it was the act of heroism that kinda killed her in a way - makes sense that Leo would initially be leaning away from that #and yet he ends up exactly like her anyway #haha sorry for rambling I just really love the interesting dynamic these two tend to have #and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it really explored in rise #but yeah make no mistake while I’m focusing on Leo here I wanted more for all the boys and karai #Mikey’s little moments with her were so sweet and we already know how much he yearns for more family #Karai being from an age long gone would mean she’d be super impressed by literally any invention Donnie has (adult validation!!) #and could you imagine her training with Raph - with this training being referenced in the finale?

[edelbleu]

I can’t stop thinking about the guilt Reo feels towards his own despair and sadness.

It’s not just that he’s a sheltered kid who’s always had everything he wanted at his reach; he’s also incredibly self-aware and holds himself to impossibly high standards.

He’s so ashamed of everything that can be perceived as “ugly” about him: his selfishness, his misplaced pride. These are things that he’s never really had to face before, but being abandoned by Nagi has served as a wake-up call of sorts and suddenly he can’t see anything BUT that.

The way he keeps blaming himself for wanting to hold Nagi back, keep him in a cage the same way his parents wanted for him… AND YET. and yet he’s still unable to wave Nagi off with a smile, he’s unable to let go because Nagi has become so inherently intertwined with his dream that he can no longer conceive one without the other

#nagireo #reonagi #epinagi #episode nagi #epinagi spoilers #edel talks #mygod #i’m lowkey annoyed we didn’t get the you’re a pain scene here bc #it’s been two months of edging #but #reo’s character is so well written #and i find his feelings so real and relatable #now if we don’t get Nagi’s pov in the next chapter i WILL riot #i need to see nagi’s pain for a change

[completeoveranalysis]

[2]

Oh no Syaoran never learned to never give out free feet pics!

Syaoran no! People will pay good money for that!!

Though I will say, boi knows how to pose!

#While you were busy having a soul I was studying the blade etc etc #But I DO love how well it fits #That Lava Lamp is just getting his ass completely kicked by HIMSELF #Couldn’t get more appropriate #This is the version of himself completely dedicated to a higher goal with no distraction #Just like he wants! #And THIS is how powerful he could get if he wasn’t weighed down by silly things #Like morals and love and caring about people etc #Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 208 #Syaoran #Lava Lamp Guy #Syaoran vs Syaoran #Evil Wolverine #Fai #We Love Fai calling out in concern #Every time Lava Lamp takes a very painful L #We dont love Evil Wolverine calling in more clones to keep him busy #I’m only surprised Evil Wolverine didn’t give us a speech as he did it

[simcardiac-arrested]

#i wouldnt usually care about stuff like this. but every month or so i get two or three asks like this and i just got one earlier today #and look. i’m not saying u can’t hate ns or dislike them. feel free to send me asks that are like ‘ns you are stupid and you suck and i hate #you’ he IS stupid and he DOES suck and he is quite hateable. that’s fine #it’s just when you start sending me wholeass paragraphs explaining every single detail you hate about ns and how they deserve a slow and #painful death that i think two things: 1. you are finite waves reincarnated 2. you are weird! and strange even! #what are you on about! ns absolutely does NOT deserve a slow and painful death! and you absolutely do Not have to be so hostile and #aggressive towards them as a character! like Please relax. we serve bullshit here sir #most anti-ns asks i get are funny and are light hearted because it’s just people messing with ns on purpose or mocking him and making him #mad because he easily gets mad and it’s funny. Like those asks are fine. it’s another deal entirely when you send me this detailed and— #honestly—really mean message. I guess i am not surprised considering how similar ns and pebbles are in terms of personality #(and circumstances somewhat) and we all know how the fandom treats pebbles. even worse than ns. but yeah anyway #they are not an irredeemable unforgivable monster and they do not deserve to die. Hope this helps #to me even calling them a Bad Person is kind of a stretch. let alone the shit some of you are saying about them #we have to get normal about mentally ill and traumatized and autistic characters gang! #crammerposting #i also do not appreciate when people insuniate that ns is stupid for overworking himself and damaging his structure and so on and so forth #yes it is his fault but that didn’t mean he deserved what he had coming to him or anything like that. be nice to him

[bonafidehero]

Photos I took of my pets as a child in the 90s

#it’s so hard to look at these photos #I’m hoping maybe putting them here will help me face the pain and trauma associated with them #I think it’s especially painful because they were all such sweethearts #actual angels who were so gentle and patient with baby me #if i could go back in time and save all of them I fucking would 😭 #max the malamute 🖤 #best boy in the world he was such a good dog #my cousins family gave me him as a puppy #the torties were named Romeo and Juliet (even tho they were both boys 🤣) #(yeah boy torties are from the same litter! idk what happened! 🤣) #Garfield was the orange cat (and mama to the torties) #best girl in the world so sweet. she was almost completely deaf and blind #German shepherd was buddy #sweet playful boy 🖤 #I didn’t get to know him very well because he (all my pets did) lived with my dad and at that point I stopped going to his house a lot #bear was the rottie #sweet boy he died really tragically my dad loved animals but was fucking stupid sometimes #and the black puppy… also died really tragically. never even lived long enough to get a name. #some of these might be pushing into 00-4 maybe #the ones of buddy are probably from then because I’m pretty sure we got him while I was in middle school #I drafted this post a few months ago and honestly doing this + writing about them really did help me process my feelings towards them #so now I’m ready to share :) #I just love the idea of seeing the world through a child’s eyes #this is what little me thought was important! lol

[akkivee]

genuinely asking: where tf did saburo get this picture from

#vee queued to fill the void #i was in my drafts thinking i should delete unused drafts (this did not happen lmao) #and bumped into my bbmtc monster post i never published because i mean it’s a MONSTER post lmao #but i had some Points lol i think is sad that i didn’t bring up by proxy of not posting lol and this is one of them lol #like there’s only two answers i can think of and one is significantly more painful than the other lol like #i HOPE that’s not a pic taken from their old orphanage 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i know ichiro was a baby when we see him getting left behind by rei but i mean 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #the timeline said rei left the military when saburo was one iirc #which is when i’m assuming mama yamada ‘died’ and i think maybe based on that assumption that’s when jiro and saburo got their scars #uhhhhhhhhh i wouldn’t say saburo is one in that pic??? but he don’t look too much older tbh lol #*scrunches face* when did you leave with your brothers ichiro???? huh?????? when????????

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time

#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start #I wanna get in his head more ok sue me #Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits #Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts #Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever #That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak #Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it #Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom #I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍 #Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue #Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house #Grace post #this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things #Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho #Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain #Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark #Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries #This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts #In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh #Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be #But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc) #So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now #Shrugs #maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno #Ok yapping over byeeeeee

[boomerang109]

i came home, panicked about one thing, and my toilet was leaking. bathroom floor is covered in water and brown particles. oddly, this has not improved my mood

#i just want to be a child again. i understand being a child was also miserable I am not glorifying my childhood #i was in pain and sad and lonely #BUT I WAS SAFE AND CARED FOR AND I NEVER QUESTIONED THAT no matter how much pain I was in #what I wouldn’t give for everything to hurt because I was so overstimulated by school and being bullied #being a kid had such clear cause and effect. being an adult is just…I am guilty and I want to cry everytime I think about the fact that I’m #here. i miss something that never existed and I’m the only one who is trying to remember a person who never existed but is important to me #(cause it’s me—I’m the only one who cares about preserving my childhood. my parents don’t give a damn. they were so busy surviving they #don’t remember it or care either) #why the fuck am I getting emails about a pizza party we didn’t ask for were an actual club now we don’t need your planned events fuck off #the way I was about to brag about our club name by just name dropping my school which would then make it so easy to find me holy shit my #internet safety is getting lax 🙈 #boom’s bad days #omg I just got reccommended ‘boom blogs high’ what if I got high I would feel so much better #i keep just coping sober cause like. not relying on substances. but I don’t actually have skills rn to improve my issues so like. substances #are more helpful tbh 🙈

[juhotonin]

You know I try not to think about it too much because honestly I kinda expected that even when he’s the same guy who tried to manage his timeline to reunite and promote with his members… but what makes me angry is that no mention of his members in his letter…

#like Idk how to feel. I’m happy for him that he finally decided something. I’m sad that we didn’t get a full comeback. #I’m sad that we don’t see idol!rowoon anymore WITH his members. (don’t let me start on the whole fnc kingdom thing) #I’m angry that everyone tried even tho if they had solo schedules they tried for sf9 since binseong left #but rowoon’s schedule was so packed that he didn’t had the time except for the puzzle cb #I’m happy for him like truly that he focuses more on his self now bc he still deals with his back pain but nonetheless I’m sad. angry. empty #I have so many emotions and the fact that I’m not surprised #I’m thinking about the members at this moment and miss youngbin’s lives where I could calm myself #his words are always so calming and reassuring that you feel at ease #like I should be happy inseong is coming back to us tomorrow and youngbin is following. their anniversary is coming up yet… #I’m in this sf9 hole forever. the first group who made me feel something and is so special to me. #I’d still support them but for now thank you for letting us feel how we feel #fun fact trauma was the comeback with all the nine members and we’re literally living the title rn 😅 #zey.txt

[enigma-absolute]

…

#rough day today with an emotional mess at the end #rough as in it wasn’t BAD just… I had low energy the entire time and lost the day really #I don’t know how my mom does it. she has it worse than me and she expects me to be more bounding and alive and USING my energy #buddy. pal. I got rude and angry because I was LOW and I DO NOT HAVE YOUR PAIN TOLERANCE THRESHOLD #on MULTIPLE levels. physical and emotional #you went to dental school in Otago in the 90’s. I did animation school 2019-2023. #you escaped communism and were a stranger in a strange land and married my father who became a bat from hell and you had to escape him #AND keep the kids in good schools and in God. #I didn’t. I was the child who had it worst on the spectrum and had the PTSD to crawl out of during high school. #of course THAT put a dampener on me growing up in several ways (and uh. being on this hellsite in 2014 didn’t help either) #mom I love you and you love me. we are clearly NOT the same ever #I’m a little over the age dad married you at first now. I do not have the same threshold nor tolerance as you. I AM more sensitive yeah #and I’m trying to work through it but damn it it is hard trying to stay soft in a world getting crueller. #and yet! I have my father’s face and eyes in anger! I wish I could be more kind and loving on low energy and I’m sorry! #I am genuinely an ass when I’m tired and ticked off and want none of your help and I wish I wasn’t! alas! #I do not! have! your threshold nor tolerance! #when I finally get myself together and have a full place to call my own. with bills and all to pay. #I will finally allow myself the relief of lying down onto the kitchen floor and sobbing. #in the knowledge and safety of solitude. #Chris rambles #AUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #vent

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way. #so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

[flamingsemi]

If you or a loved one was emotionally traumatized by episode 6 of Good Omens Season 2, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

@neil-gaiman my man, my guy, nothing could have prepared me for that. Not even the Gazebo scene last season

#good omens #good omens season two #neil gaiman #crowley #aziraphale #i’m dying #how could this happen to me #I didn’t think we’d get something more painful than the gazebo scene but here we are boys

[danielnelsen]

there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon #although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great #whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time #kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’ #or at least triggers that i can plan around #the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one #the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni #and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis? #but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal #i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months #so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically) #so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point #obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again #i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time #BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT #‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately #personal #but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12 #so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’ #and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes #wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health #and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder #so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test #i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing #might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained