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#I’m just gonna end up deleting it realistically
prettyboyeddiemunson · 5 months
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what’s your favorite scary movie?
summary: porn star eddie is doing a halloween film with his costar, one that involves a certain mask.
pairing: porn star eddie x porn star reader
word count: 5.9k
warnings: being filmed, daddy kink, use of a realistic plastic knife (nothing weird with it, though), unprotected sex, creampies, choking, brief oral sex (m & f receiving), mentions of anal, breast play, anal fingering (f receiving), degradation, rough sex, kinda dubcon
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a/n: im aware halloween is over, but its always Halloween in my mind! also, sorry if anything like this has been done. I just returned to tumblr, and haven’t read many fics here in like 8-9 months.
18+ ONLY. minors do not interact or follow, or you’re getting blocked.
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Ring! Ring!
The phone next to you was ringing its familiar ringtone, and you looked at it with an eye roll. Unknown number, typical. You were acting the part of someone who didn’t like spam calls, but you hated them just as much in real life, too. You turned your attention back to the TV, ready to forget all about it and delete any voice mail they may leave, when it began to ring again. The same number popped up, and you killed the call. They called again, and again, and after the fifth time, you’d finally had enough.
“What do you want?” you asked irritably.
“y/n,” a deep voice came over the phone. “How nice to catch you.”
“Who is this?” you asked. 
“That doesn’t matter,” he said, and you could hear a grin in his voice. “I was lonely, and thought I would give you a call.”
“Very funny,” you said. “Tell me who you are.”
“What’s the fun of that?” he asked. “Isn’t mystery supposed to be more fun?”
“Is it?” you asked. “You’re probably just someone I know, trying to play some kind of weird joke.”
“Am i?” he asked. “I don’t think I know you at all.”
“Then how did you know my name and my number?” you asked. “Answer me that.”
“Maybe I have my own methods,” he said. “Ever think of that?”
“Ha ha,” you said with an eye roll. You hung up, but the same number called again and you picked up. “Yes?”
“That wasn’t very wise of you,” he said dangerously. “You didn’t even let me ask my questions.”
“They’re probably something really fucking gross,” you said. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Now, now,” he said, tsking. “What do you take me for?”
“A pervert,” you said.
“You’re right,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “But that isn’t why I’m calling you.”
“No?” you asked with a chuckle. “Coulda fooled me.” 
“What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asked, and you could almost hear the grin in his voice.
“What the fuck?” you asked, sitting up on the couch. “What kind of question is that?”
“Are you going to answer it?”
“No, now goodbye–”
“Hang up again, and you’ll regret it.”
The threatening tone of his voice gave you pause. “Who is this?”
“What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asked again.
“Whatever,” you said, and dared to hang up. It didn’t last long until he called again, and you rolled your eyes as you answered. “What?!”
“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” he said. “I just wanted to talk to you.”
“I’m not gonna entertain you,” you said. “You’re a fucking creep.”
“Just answer my question and I’ll leave you alone,” he said.
“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “I really like Psycho, Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Exorcist.”
“I know you like Friday the 13th,” he said, and he laughed evilly on the other end. “I can see that you’re watching it right now.”
You froze, sitting bolt upright. “What did you just say?”
“Never mind that,” he said. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No..” you answered automatically, looking around the darkness of your windows for any signs of life. “How do you know what I’m watching…?”
“Just a guess,” he said.
You got up and turned on all the lights, looking around again to see if you could spot someone. “Look, I need to go–”
“Don’t hang up,” he nearly shouted.
“Look, this isn’t funny or cute anymore,” you said. “I’m really uncomfortable, so if you could please–”
“You look really sexy in your pretty lingerie,” he said. “I mean, I think that’s what it is. You’re wearing that pretty pink babydoll with a thong. You like to tease people, y/n? That isn’t very nice.”
“Fuck you, creep,” you said.
“You didn’t ask what my favorite scary movie is,” he said.
“I don’t care!” you cried. “Leave me alone!”
“It’s The Strangers,” he said, and you could swear his voice sounded different now. More echo, closer somehow. “You know, that movie where those people break into that house.”
“I’m–” you began, and your back collided with someone as you backed away. 
You played the part of terrified really well, and you could see the cameraman giving you a thumbs up as you kept the facade. You turned around slowly, shouting in surprise when you came face to face with a man in a mask. He was in all black, and the rest of his mask was black as well, except for the face. It looked like a ghost, its mouth agape in some kind of eternal shock. In his hand was a knife, but you knew it wasn’t a real one. It was plastic that was made to look like the real deal, something the director found at a joke shop for a little bit of nothing. You shrieked and tried to run away, but he grabbed you and held you against his back as he stroked your hair in a near-loving gesture.
“Shh,” he said in your ear, trailing the knife down your arm. “It’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Could have fooled me,” you said, feeling yourself already starting to get wet as you felt him hardening against your ass. “Why are you here, then?”
“I was hoping maybe I’d get lucky,” he purred, moving the knife between your breasts as you shivered. “You’re so much hotter up close.”
“And what do YOU look like under that thing?” you asked, your voice conveying the whole “stall him” vibe that the director wanted you to go for. “It’s not really fair that you see me and I can’t see you. If you’re really not gonna hurt me, then why won’t you show me?”
“I’ll show you,” he said, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. “If you do one thing for me.”
“What?” you asked, turning your head so that you could look at him slightly. 
“Show me those pretty, perfect tits,” he said in your ear, running the knife between them again. “Outside of that baby doll.”
“And what would you do for me in return?” you asked, turning around in his grip and looking into that mask. “Let me live?”
“Maybe,” he said, looking you up and down. “But first, I’ll just show you my face if you do. Let’s start there, yeah?”
You smirked at him, lowering the thin straps of the baby doll and biting your lip. “You’re probably some total asshole under there. I mean, who calls random women at nine on a Friday night, stalks them, then breaks into their house?”
“Keep going,” he said, his eyes on your breasts. “Show me.”
“You’re a real pervert, you know that?” you said.
“And look what you’re doing,” he said smugly. “Giving into me.”
“You came here to kill me,” you said. “I know that to be true, but it seems like you changed your mind. Why?”
“Because why would I waste such a good set of tits?” he asked. “And I know that pussy of yours is also perfect.”
You swallowed, but smirked as you pulled the baby doll down. You exposed your breasts to him, and heard him suck in a breath. That wasn’t scripted; it was his genuine reaction. You bit your lip again, smiling as you stood before him. He took the knife and dragged it over one erect nipple, causing you to shiver and moan slightly. That also wasn’t scripted or an act, and you knew that whatever happened from this point onward, it was going to be genuine. Well, aside from the basic acts they wanted you to perform on each other, but the reactions? It would be all you, and him. 
“Like what you see?” you asked, shaking them a bit as he groaned.
“Fuck yes,” he said, his ringed hands coming up to grope them. You moaned a little, head tipping slightly as he massaged them in his hands. “I guess I need to hold up my end of the bargain, too, huh?”
“Mmm hmm,” you said, mewling as he gave your nipples a soft pinch. “Shit…”
He stepped back, and you whined at the loss of contact. He lifted the mask with one hand, revealing his face underneath. You acted as though you were surprised to see just how sexy he really was, and his pierced tongue came out between his lips with a devils-horn gesture at the top of his head. You smiled, moving closer to him and running your hands down his chest as he looked you up and down again. Soon, he was grabbing your head forcefully, and drawing your lips to his in a passionate, hard kiss. It turned sloppy, your hands wandering and his, too, finding purchase on your hips as he squeezed. Your tongue played with his piercing, and you could feel the presence of the cameraman in front of you both as you made out. One hand tangled in his hair, the other palming the big bulge that was forming in the front of his pants. His hands came up, grabbing your breasts hard as you moaned into his mouth. He tugged your lower lip between his teeth, moving away to start kissing down your neck. 
“You feel so big,” you breathed, mewling as his teeth found your sweet spot. “Fuck…”
“You have no idea,” he said, pulling your body to his before grabbing your ass. “I want you so bad.”
“Come on,” you said, taking his hand and leading him into the living room. You pushed him down on the couch, straddling his lap before grinding against his dick. “You know what I want you to do?”
“What?” he panted. 
“Want you to rip this thing off of me,” you said in his ear, tugging the lobe in your teeth. 
“Oh?” he asked, grabbing the back of it and tearing it down the middle. “Like that?”
“Mmm hmm,” you hummed, kissing his neck as he moaned. “And I want you to put the mask back on.”
“Okay,” he said, smirking before his face disappeared beneath the Ghostface mask again. 
“You know what else I want?” you asked, moaning as you continued to glide along his clothed erection.
“Hm?”
“I want that big, thick cock down my throat.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
You could hear the smirk in his voice, and it would have infuriated you under any other circumstances. Right then, though, you were too turned on to care. You moved from your spot on his lap to slide to your knees, keeping your eyes on him as you did so. You palmed the bulge in his pants again, feeling how hard he was and suppressing a moan. He watched you from beneath the mask, both of his arms stretched along the back of the couch as you pulled his pants down. His breathing picked up a bit as you put your mouth over his cock through his boxers, and soon, you were pulling those down, too. He was exposed to you now, all nine inches of his thick, pierced, flushed erection at your mercy. As per the script, you teased him a little, sucking on his piercing before swirling your tongue around his slit. He mewled, panting as you took the tip in your lips and sucked eagerly. His arms remained on the back of the couch, not moving yet as you started planting messy, noisy, open mouthed kisses all over the entire length of his cock. You moved farther down to take his big balls into your mouth as well, sucking on them with a moan as you jerked him off skillfully. He was panting a little more heavily now, and you traced his large vein with your tongue as you made your way back up his length.
“Don’t fucking tease me,” he growled.
“Sorry, uh…” you said. “I don’t know what to call you.”
“You can call me Daddy,” he said, reaching down with one hand to stroke your cheek. “And what shall I call you, huh?”
“Anything you want,” you said with a wink, spitting on his cock and jerking him off. “Such a big dick, fuck.” 
“What did I say about teasing?” he asked, tilting your chin up with the knife.
“Sorry, Daddy,” you said, opening your mouth and taking his entire cock.
You gagged for a moment until you got your reflex under control, which was something you’d gotten good at in the business. You could feel him in your throat, stretching, his piercing at the back of it as you drug your head up, then back down. He was moaning above you under the mask, his head tipped back as he tangled a hand in your hair. You looked up at him, bobbing your head slowly as you gripped his base in one hand. You began to jerk him off in time with your movements, ignoring the camera man as he came around to get some close up shots. It felt as if he wasn’t even there, that’s how into it you were starting to get. You could feel your pussy throbbing, wetness settling in the thong you still wore as you sucked him off.
“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, tugging on your hair as you hollowed your cheeks. “You’re so fucking good at that. You’re a filthy little cock slut, aren’t you? I mean, who else just gets on her knees for a man she’s just met, especially one who broke into her house to hurt her?”
You responded by twisting your wrist, eyes still on him as you sucked him off messily. Drool cascaded from his dick and onto the floor below, and your throat was starting to hurt a bit from his piercing. But he was so hot, THIS was so hot, and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. His hips bucked upward with a loud moan, and you choked as more of his cock went down your throat again. He stroked your cheek tenderly, before yanking you off of his dick. Spit bridged your lips to the tip, and you looked up at him in surprise. Was this scripted? You couldn’t quite remember, but either way, it sent a fresh wave of arousal to your cunt.
“Rub my dick across your tits,” he said. 
“Those are one of my biggest insecurities,” you replied, but did as he asked as he moaned filthily. “But you like them, huh?”
“Fuck yes,” he panted, watching as you sucked his tip again. “You’re so hot.”
“Thanks,” you said, and you continued to alternate between rubbing his dick over your breasts and sucking him off. After a little while, he forced you to stop by grabbing your jaw. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re gonna make me cum if you keep that up,” he growled. “Did I say I was ready to cum yet?”
“No, Daddy,” you said, reaching out to jerk him off. “But I can’t stop worshipping this huge, perfect dick of yours.”
He grabbed your wrist and pinned it to the couch, causing you to whine. “Let me make you feel good.”
“You already did,” he said, grabbing your spit-soaked chin in one hand and forcing you to look up into his mask. “Now, it’s my turn.”
“What do you mean?” you asked, trying to take him into your mouth again, but you were greeted by a light slap to your cheek. “What?”
“I said stop it,” he said, pushing you away as he got up off the couch. “Sit up here for me.”
You whined, but did as he said. You sat down on the couch, watching as he lifted the mask again. He kissed you hungrily, sloppily, one ringed hand squeezing your jaw before it found your throat. He choked you for a moment, and you moaned as his hands found your breasts. He massaged them skillfully, his rings cold against your heated skin, his fingers rubbing your nipples until they were hard buds. He pinched them, tugged on them, swiped his fingers across them, all while you moaned hotly in his mouth. He grabbed his plastic knife, running it over & between your breasts before dragging it over your waist and stomach. 
“I’m going to show you just what I’m capable of,” he said, kissing down your neck after leaving a series of hickeys in his wake. He nipped at your collarbones, before he found your breasts. “You have the hottest body I’ve ever fucking seen.”
“All the other girls you broke in on weren’t as hot, huh?” you asked.
“Not even close,” he said, pulling one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking generously. “Such an amazing set of tits.”
“Fuck…” you whined, one hand in his hair as he tugged your nipple in his teeth. You knew the cameraman was probably getting a pretty good shot with that; Eddie was skilled, he knew what he was doing and how to work a woman’s body. You were reacting to him, wetness pooling in your thong, and you spread your legs for him as you grabbed one of his hands. “I want you to touch me. Please, I need it.”
“So needy, princess,” he said, giving your other nipple the same treatment as the last. He drug the knife down, running it over your cunt as he smirked. “I’ll bet you’re soaking wet for me, aren’t you? You’re such a depraved fucking slut, you know that? Putting out for me like this, soaking that pretty thong for me.”
“Touch me the right way and find out, asshole,” you challenged, and you could feel him grinning against your breast. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” he said, smiling up at you as he started to kiss his way down your stomach. They weren’t gentle, tender kisses; they were needy, hard, bruising. You knew you’d have some marks there tomorrow. “Just that you think it’s so funny and cute to be calling me names right now, when I’ve got the upper hand.” 
“Who says you’ve got the upper hand?” you asked, and he slapped your thigh hard as you yelped. “You didn’t have to do that!”
“Shut up,” he snarled, kneeling in front of you and spreading your legs as wide as they would go. He peeled off your thong, and the cameraman moved behind him to get a shot of your pussy. “Fuck, look at that. So fucking pretty and so goddamn wet.”
“I can’t help it,” you said, shivering as he ran the knife over your bare cunt. “Daddy…”
“I’m going to make you fucking scream, baby,” he said, and he immediately began to devour you.
You had never been eaten out like that before, either off camera or on. The way his pierced tongue moved through your cunt, so skillful and hungry, had you moaning loudly. You usually had to fake your moans, or at the very least, over exaggerate them. Not now; right now, every single noise that fell from your lips was genuine. He was devouring you, his tongue flicking your clit with every drag upward, his hands gripping your thighs tight enough to leave more bruises. You reached down to grab his hair, and he moaned as you pulled it roughly. His piercing dragged through your saturated folds, slowly and teasingly, before he pressed it tightly against your clit. More wetness soaked his face, and his fingers soon joined the mix. The cameraman was getting some great shots, and Eddie began to fuck you roughly on his fingers while his mouth did its magic.
“Fuck, you’re so good,” you gasped, rutting against his face as you clenched around his fingers. “I need more.”
“More?” he asked, his free hand dragging the knife over your thigh. “How much more? I’m giving you all I can, you greedy whore.”
“I want more,” you insisted, your eyes nearly rolling back as he started sucking on your clit. “Please…”
“Is this what you want?” he asked, gathering some of your wetness on the fingers of his free hand and pushing a finger inside of your ass. “Huh?”
“Yes,” you gasped, looking down into his big brown eyes as he started to eat your pussy again. “Fuck, please…”
He took his fingers out of your cunt, instead focusing on your ass. He shook his head back & forth rapidly, growling, his eyes still trained on your face. You kept looking down at him, playing with your breasts as his tongue swirled your clit. You tugged your nipples, and soon he was slapping your hand away with his free one to take over. He squeezed it, massaging it, pinching the nipple as hard as he could. You cried out, and you could feel the familiar sensation in your lower stomach that indicated an orgasm was imminent. He kept going, lapping at your pussy as if his life depended on it, shaking his head occasionally, using his piercing to his advantage. He began to fuck you on his tongue as he fingered your ass, moaning as more of your taste flooded his tongue.
“So fucking good,” he mumbled, moaning as he reached down to jerk himself off. “I’m going to fucking cum just from eating your pussy.”
“I’d rather you cum inside of me,” you said. “I wanna feel that big dick in my tight, wet pussy right now. Wanna feel you pumping me full of cum, and feel how good you are inside of me. Please.”
“You’d rather cum around my dick?” he asked, raising a brow at you.
“Mmm hmm,” you said. “But you gotta put the mask back on.”
“Tired of my face already?” he teased, pulling his finger out and putting the mask back on. “Alright, have it your way. How do you want me to fuck you?”
“From behind,” you said.
“Just like a disgusting fucking whore, huh?” he asked, slapping your ass as you stood up. “I’m going to make you feel so fucking good, baby.”
“Then do it,” you said. “Stop talking about it and just do it already, asshole.”
He slapped your ass hard, leaving a large red handprint in his wake. You yelped but giggled, wiggling your ass toward him as he spanked it again. He held the knife to your throat, pulling you up by your head as his mouth found your ear. You could feel his giant cock throbbing against your ass, and knew he was close already. But if everything you heard about his reputation was true, you knew that didn’t mean anything. He could apparently hold off for quite awhile, even that close, and you were looking forward to having him inside of you. In fact, you needed it more than you ever needed anything. You were tired of doing films with men who had average or below average dicks; they didn’t do anything for you, and you always had to fake it. But with Eddie? You highly doubted you would have that problem.
“Keep calling me that and I’ll slit your fucking throat,” he said in your ear, pressing the hard plastic a little more firmly to your throat. “You’re in no position right now to be a fucking bitch.”
“I think I am,” you said, grinning smugly at him as you pushed back against his cock. “You’ve got me right where you want me, right? So, instead of making empty threats and being a douchebag, why don’t you just fuck me?”
He slapped your ass hard again, dragging the knife across your throat ever so gently. “You’re fucking lucky I think you’re so hot. Otherwise, I would be ending this right fucking now by cutting you wide open.”
“Fuck me already!” you said. “You’re–”
You were cut off by a loud moan as you felt him pushing inside of you. You cried out as his thick length stretched your pussy, and you could feel his piercing deep inside. He held onto your hips to anchor himself, bending you over the couch as he pushed himself deeper. You nearly screamed as you felt that piercing on your cervix, but it hurt so good. You reached down and squeezed his hand, and you could tell that he was trying hard not to break character to hold your hand. He had to know how it felt, and you could tell that he was holding back, even still. The director seemed not to notice, though; he just instructed his cameraman to get a shot of his cock buried deep inside of your pussy. He was almost fully inside, and it took you a minute to adjust to how it felt. Never had you been this full, never had anything felt so good, and you weren’t sure how long YOU would be able to last. He was moaning behind you, and you felt his dick twitch. That caused you to moan filthily, and you looked behind your shoulder into his masked face, a smirk on your own.
“What are you waiting for, Daddy?” you asked, biting your lip. “Fuck me.”
He started to thrust, keeping them slow and shallow at first. The cameraman looked up questioningly, and the director simply shrugged and instructed him to keep filming. You moaned, feeling that piercing against your cervix again with every movement inward. He kept hold of your hips, and soon, he was fucking you a little harder. You knew that he was making sure you were okay first, something that he seemingly didn’t do with any of his other costars. Maybe he found a soft spot for you, or maybe the rest of them were used to taking dicks his size. Either way, you thought the gesture of going off script was rather touching, and you looked back at him with a smile. You couldn’t tell if he was reciprocating, but the sharp thrust inside of you somehow told you that he was.
“You’re so fucking tight and wet,” he said, starting to absolutely DRILL you as you nearly screamed. “Listen to that, can you hear it?”
You could. As he fucked into you harder, you could hear just how wet you truly were for him. His fingers dug into your skin, his breath in your ear, and you just moaned as you clenched hard around him. That caused him to groan, and you smirked as you did it again. This brought another loud crack to your ass, and you yelped as the knife made another appearance at your throat.
“Stop doing that,” he growled. “You needy bitch.”
“Sorry,” you said, but did it again.
He stopped thrusting, putting the knife down to grab your throat with his hands. He choked you for a moment, chuckling darkly as you kept clenching around him. He began to move again but kept his grip, letting go only when you started clawing at his hands. He reached around to grope your breasts, rubbing the nipples as he absolutely pounded you against the couch. He was panting and groaning, the sounds filling the air as the cameraman got another shot of him fucking into you. You could feel your lower stomach tightening, but you weren’t ready for this to be over yet. Fuck, he felt so goddamn good; you never wanted it to end. You would have been content going on forever just like this, with him inside of you as you whined desperately. He knew you were getting desperate, too; he reached down, rubbing your clit in hard, fast circles as you cried out. You clenched again, his hands now on your shoulders as you braced against the couch. He drilled your needy, soaking cunt, each bump to your cervix causing you to moan even louder.
“Cum for me,” he said. “Show me just how much you fucking love what I’m doing to you. Show me what a greedy whore you are for my cock.”
You moaned, and were shocked to see that he was pulling out of you. The director was about to intervene, but Eddie was pushing you onto your back on the couch. He lifted your legs to his shoulders and pushed inside of you again, causing you to moan hotly as he filled you up again. The director stopped and instructed the cameraman to keep going, and you looked up into his masked face with a look of pleasure on yours. You arched under him, writhing, your hands finding his clothed back and digging your nails into the fabric. He pounded you hard, the new angle causing him to hit into your sweet spot. He didn’t use his entire cock this time; instead, he decided to get creative, and fucked directly into your G-spot. The feel of the piercing against it was so fucking good, and you tore at his dark shirt as he pounded against you.
“That’s it,” he cooed, the strokes of his cock remaining shallow and deep as your mouth fell slack. “Cum around my cock, princess.”
“Fuck,” you whined, your jaw still open as your head tipped back. “I’m gonna cum so hard, Daddy.”
“Cum for me,” he coaxed, his fingers rubbing hard circles on your clit again. “Do it for me. Show me how desperate you are to let some stranger fuck you like this.”
Tears began to leak out of your eyes. They weren’t bad; it was just so much, so overwhelming. You could tell that he was having doubts, so you sat up slightly to bury your face in his neck. He groaned, thrusting harder before pushing you back down. He pinned you to the couch, both of his large hands holding you down as he mercilessly pounded you. More tears leaked from your eyes, and he laughed wickedly under the mask.
“What’s wrong?” he taunted. “Is my dick too big for you, you disgusting slut? Can’t take it all?”
“No, i can,” you said, trying to get out of his grip. 
“Then take it and cum for me,” he coaxed, fucking you as hard as he could. “Go ahead, show me you can do it.”
It didn’t take much more for you to cum. A few more strokes of his cock, a few more swipes with his fingers, and that was it. You screamed in pleasure, and none of that was exaggerated or fake, either. You squirted around him twice, and the director was staring in awe as the cameraman caught everything. You kept arching, moaning, bucking up against him as he continued to pound into you. He was panting above you under the mask, moaning as you felt him twitch inside of you. He was fighting hard to keep going, but you knew he was going to lose that fight very soon. You reached down and took his knife, holding it up with a smirk.
“You wanna hold this to my throat again?” you asked. “Maybe that would get you off.”
He took it and did just that, holding it on your throat as he pounded you. You moaned, clenching around him, bucking your hips up against his thrusts to aid him. He looked down at your breasts, then back to where the knife was held to your throat, and you felt him twitch twice. You knew it was coming and, sure enough, it did a moment later. He came hard inside of you, moaning through it, his head bowed as he allowed his orgasm to take him over. He continued to thrust until it was done, stopping and nearly collapsing on top of you before pulling out. But he wasn’t finished, and you already knew what was coming because of the script. He pulled you to a sitting position and opened your legs, eyeing your dripping cunt as he rubbed the knife between both of his hands. 
“Look at that,” he said, running his fingers through your sensitive pussy before he knelt in front of you. “I made such a mess of you, didn’t I?”
“Mmm hmm,” you said, moaning as he lifted his mask. “What are you gonna do about it?”
“I think you know,” he said, dragging the knife over your thigh again before he started eating you out once more. “I’m nowhere close to being fucking done with you, you fucking slut. If you think that I am, then you’d better think again.”
“So much for scary movies, huh?” you asked, moaning as he began to devour your pussy even more desperately. 
“I think this is much better,” he said, eating you out more feverishly. “You know what we should try? You know, since you’re such a filthy girl.”
“What?” you asked, moaning as he fucked you on his tongue.
“Giving it to you up the ass,” he said. “I think that would be fun, don’t you agree?”
“And cut!” the director called.
You whined as Eddie broke away from you, standing up as he helped you. The director was coming onto the set to talk to the cameraman, both of them seemingly pleased with what they’d gotten. Eddie sat the mask and the knife down on the couch, grabbing a water as someone on set offered one. He handed it to you, and you accepted it with a big smile. You took a drink, and Eddie’s hand was on your shoulder in a comforting gesture. He pulled his pants back up and gestured for someone to bring over your clothes. You slipped them on once they did, and Eddie wrapped your jacket around your shoulders for you with a smile. 
“Are you okay?” he asked. “I mean, I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I? I tried to be as careful–”
“No, I’m okay,” you assured him. “Really. I just wasn’t used to someone that big.”
“A lot of the women aren’t,” he said with an apologetic grin. “I always ask them to let me go in slow and careful, but they never really let me. I guess they don’t want to shatter the illusion. It’s just…you were crying, and i was so scared that i was hurting you.”
“Well, I can promise you that I’m totally fine,” you said, taking another sip of the water. “Do you think we did well enough for them?”
“Oh, I think we did,” he said with a chuckle. 
“Something tells me they’ll be asking us to do another one together very soon,” you said. 
“In that case,” he said, smiling as he leaned closer to you and offered an arm. “How about I buy you dinner? I know I’ve worked up a hell of an appetite tonight.”
You grinned, taking his arm with a nod. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”
____________
taglist: @littledemondani @andvys @wroteclassicaly @succubusmunson @eddieschains @trashmouth-richie @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @reidsbtch @taintedcigs @happylilthought @sunkillerdreamer @battymunson @whore4romance @hallovoid @harrys-housewife14 @alovesongtheywrote @filthy-gorgeous @emmyshortcake @softgoodsstyles @deathlyweird 
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bradshawswife · 2 years
Note
Okay but listen 🌻🙊
Texting Bradley at 2:15 am, thinking he’s asleep, you can’t sleep, and you’ve got too much on your mind. You really don’t expect any response until at least 6:30am.
He calls you because of course he would be awake at that time, you tell him not to worry, that you’ll be okay and that he really should get some more sleep in.
He tells you to shut up and open your door. When you do he’s there with snacks but also makes a meal and a half out of you😍
Also hope you’re doing well babes🌻
YEP YEP YEP!!! thanks bestie for the suggestion, much love 🥰i also hope you’re doing well my luv💕
this is gonna be like a HC or whatever i’m too lazy to write a lot🤫
Lonely nights | B.B
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warning: minor smut towards the end, minors DNI. oral f!receiving. Bradley is a sweet boy as ever, thats a warning in itself.
It was just your average night, you at home, Bradley at base.
You were always lonely when Bradley couldn’t be with you. He had training that’s been super hard lately, so he hasn’t been able to see you late at night.
Deciding to text him at 2:15 was a quick judgement. You had been writing a text for 5 minutes. Deleting and rewriting these words over and over again, just to admit you miss him very much.
You’re a chronic over-thinker. Realistically you know everything’s ok, but you know the way anxiety works.
He’s probably sleeping and you’re being annoying so now you’re stressed about that.
He got your text almost instantly, knew how bad your overthinking gets sometimes, and started driving towards your house.
What you least expect happens — his name, “Roos” lights up on your phone. Oh god you’ve woken him up and he has training and now you’re really upset.
You answer the call and he has a deeper voice, he definitely had to be sleeping. “Hi baby” he says, “Are you okay? Why are you still up?”
“I’m okay, i promise,” you let out a small sniffle, cringing, “Just lonely. Did I wake you up?”
“No honey,” he starts, “I was just getting a glass of water when you texted, are you okay?” he gets out of his car, quietly shutting the door.
“Yes I am, you should go back to sleep.” you cough. He hears your tone of voice and know you’ve been crying. He’s starts walking up to your doorstep.
“I’m sorry baby but i’m going to need you to shut up and answer the door.” he says softly. You have a confused look on your face and start walking towards the front of your house.
You open the door to a grinning Bradley, one hand full of snacks, the other with his phone to his ear. “Hello my love” he says, ending the call and putting his phone in his pocket. He steps towards you and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“What are you doing here,” you question, “I told you I was fine and that you need more sleep.”
You both sit down on the couch and you vent to him. No matter how tired he could be or what he has to do the next day, he’s always there for you. He was the best boyfriend in the entire world.
And of course the night wouldn’t finish off without him making you finish 2 times from him eating you out. He says it was to “calm you down”, which it was, but he also loved eating you out.
“I hope you’re calm now pretty girl” he says, curled up next to you in bed. You’re all glassy eyed after his impeccable head game. “Yes baby.” you choke out.
He has ruined all other men for you, and you pray to your guardian angel you never have to be a day without him being yours.
taglist!
@katiemcrae
@thesewordsareallihavetogive
@vintageobx
@luckyladycreator2
@sadpetalsstuff
@blessupblessup
@gspenc
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preciouslandmermaid · 2 years
Text
nothing’s gonna hurt you baby (carmy x f!reader) - Part 6
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Note: I am thinking about Carmy constantly.  Also, I use some Spanish words within this fic, I am not a Spanish-speaking person, so I did research and I hope that it’s accurate (if not let me know, pls).
Warnings/Tags: Yearning, swearing, smoking, that’s it – I think.
Synopsis: It’s finally happening. You’ve hired a head pastry chef, along with two others, and are preparing for a summer opening in the next two months. You’ve been so busy that you’ve hardly had any time at all to think about Carmy.
Delilah asks you to use her booth space at the annual North River Spring Festival. You should’ve known you’d be next to bunch of other restaurants. However, some are more familiar than others.
(Read on Ao3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dani was your first hire just before the end of March and you hired Leslie and Ted two weeks later. The bakery started to look like a respectable, desirable place of business. Last week, you made another order for furniture while walking through the space. You smiled, feeling proud, and took several steps backward to take a picture.
The front window originally had tall tables and stools, but you replaced them with chocolate brown armchairs and an oval shaped coffee table. You installed a bookshelf into the empty, useless wall. You thought it would be different and cute to have a reading nook within your bakery. Someone could order a cupcake and read a novel at their leisure.
You snapped a few pictures, angling for the best light, even though the empty bookshelf looked…sad. Whatever. You opened your messaging app to send the photos to your mom, your friends, and your thumb hovered over the text thread with Carmy.
His words remained on your screen: ‘I’m glad you’re OK’ and the timestamp read nearly 3 weeks ago. He called twice. That’s what got under your skin whenever you thought about it (which wasn’t often for the record). He was worried about you—well, not you, obviously. He was worried about your business and still took the time to call you twice. You tossed and turned, chalking it up to professional curtesy, and general kindness but your thoughts and feelings lingered. What could’ve happened that night if you picked up the phone? You sighed.
Your heart flipped and you typed a quick message before you could overthink it. You attached the best image of your reading nook with the question: ‘Book suggestions?’
You stared at the screen for longer than you wanted to admit, expecting the bubbles to appear. What were you thinking? Fuck. Okay, be realistic, you couldn’t unsend the message or delete it and it wasn’t like you said anything inappropriate. It was perfectly friendly. You didn’t send him a nude. You sent him a picture of your bakery. A piece of the bakery that was yours and yours alone, separate from the cakes and menus, and from the kitchen equipment. A piece, however small, of yourself.
Is that why it felt like you sent him a nude? Why the fuck were you nervous? Maybe texting him was a mistake. Opening a line of casual communication could possibly get misconstrued as romantic interest. You considered texting again with a ‘that was meant for someone else’ to cover your bases.
“Hey, Boss?” Ted’s voice brought you out of your irresponsible stupor.
You tucked your phone away with a more-chipper than usual, “Yes?”
“We got a problem.” Ted jerked his thumb into the kitchen.
Ted was fresh out of school, rosy-cheeked and bald, with a thick ginger mustache and heavily tattooed forearms. Dani already got into the habit of calling him ‘Teddy bear’ on account of his gentle and warm nature. When he smiled, it crinkled his green eyes and heightened the freckles that bridge across his nose and forehead. You liked Ted. He was the innovator to Dani and Leslie’s traditional ideas.
You shook your head, but a smile lingered on your mouth. “When don’t we?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You stepped off the L with your phone cradled to your cheek. Your arms encircled a heavy paper bag that crinkled with each step you took. It was a precarious ordeal; talking, walking, and carrying groceries but you managed it so far.
“Delilah, I can’t – this is insane.” You said, completely flabbergasted at her idea to have you herald her spot at the North River Spring Festival in three days. “That’s your spot.”
“And half my crew has food poising.” Delilah groaned. “This is a matter of health and safety, hon.”
“We’re not even open yet!”
Delilah argued, “You said you have a menu and you’ve been practicing your bakes.”
You pressed your lips together. It was true. The four of you had some cupcakes and cakes that were going to be essentials, while the rest would be custom orders. You bounced between business and front of house responsibilities and shadowed in the kitchen as much as you could. You wanted to know how to do everything within your bakery. Why own a business and not know how to do it all?
Sure, you were running on three hours of sleep most nights and you’ve accidentally burned yourself more than once. But – God – it was invigorating. It was so much more vibrant than sitting behind a desk or giving a presentation to a board room of executives. Sure, those held their own brand of adrenaline and a rewarding pay-off that usually came in the form of a check with many zeros.
This bakery was you, though. You chose the paint, you picked out the furniture, you built the menu while laughing and trying different cakes and icings with your employees. This entire project was an honest, real challenge. Maybe that’s why your grandfather left it to you. Maybe he knew you were the only one equipped and capable enough to take it on. Your chest warmed with pride.
You wondered if Carmy felt the same way about the Beef or if it was impossible for him after his brother’s death. Granted, you only knew about Mike Berzatto’s passing through the newspaper obituary and you knew Carmy inherited the restaurant. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to connect those threads. But you still wondered. The ghost of your grandfather loomed painfully over your shoulder before you made the decision to turn it into a bakery. You couldn’t imagine how Carmy must feel, working in that space, and knowing his brother stood in front of the same stove.
“I’m assuming your silence is agreement.” Delilah said after you hadn’t responded for a full minute.
“Shit. Sorry.” Your cheeks flushed. “I was – uh – I was lost in my head.”
“Baker’s brain!” Joked Delilah.
You chuckled. “I don’t think that’s a thing.”
“Listen. You can use the Spring Festival to test your bakes and get customer feedback. It’ll be good for exposure.” She sighed. “And I already paid the nonrefundable fee to be there, so you’ll be making my money worthwhile.”
“Fine, fine. Let me run it by my people first, though, okay?” You acquiesced.
Delilah gasped. “You’re an angel.”
You snorted, “Okay, doubt that. I’ll call you in a bit.”
You juggled groceries and struggled with your apartment keys before nudging your door open with the tip of your boot. You focused on one task at a time. First, putting away groceries which consisted mostly of boxed pasta, crackers, and fancy cheese. Afterwards, you pulled open an ongoing group chat with Dani, Ted, and Leslie. You blinked at your messaging screen for a moment.
Carmy’s text message thread remained stagnant. You texted him two days ago after completing your book-nook, but he hadn’t replied. Not that you cared. It didn’t matter. You were the one who pressed for distance. You were the one who set the expectations and boundaries. You were the one who left him on read for almost a month. You weren’t his best friend. You were just someone who happened to see him naked, and you happened to be building a bakery across the street from his sandwich shop. That was it. That was all it would ever be. You chewed the inside of your cheek and shook off the lingering thoughts of him.
‘How do ya’ll feel about testing our bakes at the North River Spring Festival?’
Ted’s response was immediate with a thumbs-up emoji.
Dani’s response came about an hour later while you were re-heating take-out and pacing in front of your microwave. She simply said; ‘I like it. We can try out the carrot-cake-cupcakes.’ That left only Leslie to reply, but you doubted she would go against the majority. However, you didn’t want to make the call to Delilah without having her confirmation.
Leslie replied to the group chat while you were in the shower. Her reply was an enthusiastic yes, followed by several paragraphs of ideas, that Dani and Ted bounced off and expanded. You smiled down at your phone with water droplets dripping off your face and onto the screen.
‘Ok. I’ll call Delilah.’
Your phone buzzed in your hand while you brought it to your ear. You ignored it, assuming it was just the group chat with your bakers and waited for Delilah to answer. To say she was overjoyed would be an understatement. She was ecstatic. She offered up one of her vans to transport your baked goods, which you accepted, because the idea of shoving everything into Dani’s minivan sounded like Hell.
You hung up with Delilah, nervous excitement churning in your stomach, and you laughed with astonishment to yourself. Six months ago, you were getting up at five am to go to the gym before work and getting home past midnight after schmoozing with clients at a hookah bar. Now you were standing in your bathroom with an eager group-chat of pastry chefs texting you and asking if they should make the mini-eclairs for the Festival.
You unlocked your phone and your heart skipped. A missed message from Carmy floated on your notifications screen. You opened it immediately, your heart taking a semi-permanent residence inside your throat. He replied with a photo of his own. No text attached. You squinted at it.
It was multiple towers of stacked books on the floor, and you could see their titles. Every single one was about cooking, from different cuisines, to cooking styles, and techniques. You guffawed. You weren’t even a little surprised. You dried your fingers off on the towel wrapped around your midsection and replied.
‘Nerd.’
‘You’re one to talk,’ He replied. ‘I thought it was going to be a bakery, not a library.’
You rolled your eyes, something slow and sweet loosening inside your chest, and burning low in your stomach. ‘Shut up.’
‘That’s an odd way to say thank you for the book recommendations.’
You caught yourself smiling down at your phone and groaned. You tossed your phone onto your bed, hoping that would dissuade you from replying again, and piecing together a conversation with Carmy. The desire to talk to him burned through your veins. It was the worst kind of cognitive dissonance. You needed to keep focus here – on your bakery – on your bullshit. He needed to keep his focus on his side of the street. He had his problems, you had yours, and they weren’t meant to intersect.
It wouldn’t…hurt…though…to text him the good news, right? You could be friendly and professional. You finished getting dressed into your pajamas, climbed into bed, and pressed your lips tightly together while staring at the screen.
“Nope.” You turned your phone to silent. It started with good news texts, and then next thing you’d know, you’d be telling him about your childhood and your fanciful dreams. You couldn’t risk it. Carmy was an open flame, and you were going to get burned if you kept trying to get close.
You slept like absolute garbage, too hungry with foolish hope that a new message from him would light up your screen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three days of preparation before the Spring Festival were a madhouse. Dani perfected her carrot-cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. Although Easter already passed, you let Dani keep the rabbit-themed design that she enjoyed piping onto the frostings’ surface. Dani loved making faces on all her cupcakes. It was Her Thing. You could have a double dark chocolate cake and Dani would stroll up, smiling and show you, ‘Look, Boss. I have made it into a bear!’
Ted focused all his attention on making vegan, gluten-free cookies to test out. It was a guessing game to try and figure out how many you’d need for the day. You were in new territory and none of Delilah’s past experiences would apply to your menu. Ted worked out a formula to have at least 100 of the vegan and gluten-free option and 200 of the standard chocolate-chip. You suspected Ted’s numbers were too low, but you didn’t have the manpower or transportation to warrant making and bringing 500 cookies.
Leslie couldn’t decide between making a batch of lemon drizzle scones or a blueberry one. After her third visit to your office, for your advice, you pinched the bridge of your nose and said, “Just make both, Leslie! It won’t hurt to have extras, right?”
Leslie’s olive-skinned cheeks pinkened slightly and she nodded.  “R-right. Of course.”
You drummed your pencil against the edge of your desk and tried not to think about Carmy’s weight pressing you into the mahogany. You sighed, got to your feet, and decided to join the others in the kitchen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By some miracle, you made it to the Spring Festival with all your baked goods intact and your staff in an excited, boisterous mood. Ted hung the large banner above the tent and grinned while everyone else set down coolers and draped plastic tablecloths over the tables.
“We should take a picture!” Ted announced.
“Yes!” Dani agreed immediately and grabbed your shoulder, “You will be in the photo as well, yes?”
You blinked at her. “I – I guess?”
You gathered together in front of your booth, arms around each other, and Ted – kind, sweet Ted – asked a passerby to take the photo. It was an older gentleman wearing a black apron (he needed Ted to show him how to take the photo before he confidently held it upright). You smiled with Dani’s arm around your waist and Leslie’s muscled arm around your shoulders.
The older man said, “One, two, three!”
“Bake off!” Ted shouted, making Leslie laugh, and your grin nudged wider. You huddled around the phone screen to see the result. Your face softened at the sight—you looked genuinely happy.
‘The Cookie Rookie’ banner was slightly askew above your heads which made all the more endearing in your eyes. Ted promised to send the photo to everyone.
“Okay, guys, let’s get to work!” You clapped, “We’ve got shit to do.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were absorbed in your element of building display of Ted’s cookies when you heard his voice. You dropped the cookie you were holding onto the sidewalk. Thankfully, no one saw, and you regretfully tossed the cookie into the nearby trashcan. Please don’t be in the empty stall next to ours. Please. You silently prayed.
Dani sounded absolutely pleased, “Tina! What are you doing here?”
“I’m working, Mija.” Their conversation continued into Spanish. You glanced to your left and saw Carmy set a heavy cooler onto the ground. No wonder he had those sinewy biceps. You looked away before he noticed you. Of course. Of course, we’re next to each other. It’s not like there’s several miles of sidewalk realty being used for this festival. You wanted to curse the Universe for this rotten luck, but everything else was going so well, and you didn’t want to jinx it.
You expected the rest of The Beef crew to join Carmy and Tina, but they didn’t. You returned all your focus on setting up. You thought – maybe – you saw Carmy looking at you out of the corner of your eye, but each time you glanced over, he was looking elsewhere, his hands busy and hair falling across his forehead.
The Spring Festival gates opened and you, and your team, got to honest work. Ted left the booth with a box of cookies in hand to walk around the festival and offer samples. You handled the front of house, while Dani and Leslie supported you, though everyone’s role under the tent switched and rotated based on need. Beneath the tent was arranged with three tables in a horseshoe shape and the back remained open to hold your stacked coolers and supplies.
“Cookie Rookie, I like that.” A customer said, his brown hair graying at the temples beneath his Cubs baseball hat.
“Yeah? Thank you.” You smiled easily. “I should’ve kept a list of all the ones we didn’t choose.” This was where you excelled. It was your schooling and professional experience coming into play. You could be charming when you wanted to be. Right now, your business needed the charm to generate enthusiasm and anticipation about your opening. Sure, the baked goods spoke for themselves, but getting to know your clientele was never a bad idea.
He asked, “You know any off-hand?” while peeling the cupcake wrapper off.
“Oh, God – uh - the only one that comes to mind is Oven Lovin’.”
You heard Tina laugh from The Beef’s tent. In your peripheral, Carmy turned his head to you, but you couldn’t discern his expression. You resisted the primal urge to look over at him to discover his reaction. Was he smiling? Impressed? Annoyed? You dug your fingernails into the mounds of your palm.
“I can see why you didn’t go with that one.” The man said while laughing.
“Short & Sweet was the other one.” Leslie said, “I liked that one a lot.”
The next customer was a young blonde girl, perhaps five or six, and her mother. While her mother spoke to Dani and ordered two cupcakes, you leaned across the table to be at eye-level with the quiet child dressed in a dazzling pink, princess gown.
“I love your dress.” You whispered conspicuously.
She performed a little curtesy. “Thank you.”
“Are you having fun at the festival?”
She nodded and on her left cheek someone had painted a rainbow.
“Mommy said these treats are for the ride home.”
You gasped theatrically. “No way! You’re so lucky!”
The little girl giggled and scrunched her nose. You returned to an upright position and waved at her when she walked away with her mother. Dani took over the front and you stepped aside, slipping gloves on your hands, and started folding boxes for orders. This table faced Carmy’s prep-station. You glanced up, half-folded box in hand, and your gaze landed on Carmy chopping onions for their hot dogs.
You watched transfixed for a selfish, singular moment. The afternoon sunlight sparkled on the river behind him, and the air thickened with the scents and sounds of the festival: laughing, conversation, smoked meats and the soft wind cutting through the tents and booths. Rationally, you knew Carmy was a competent and knowledgeable chef. However, knowing versus seeing were entirely two different beasts. He finished chopping the onions and scooped them into a plastic container for serving.
He looked up – toward you. Fuck. You looked back down and pressed the edge of your thumb into the folded line on the box. A quick check-in to your front table revealed that the line for your tent was longer than Carmy���s. You mentally acknowledged that he and Tina worked efficiently.
You clicked your tongue. “Tough day for sandwiches. It looks like everyone prefers cupcakes.”
A smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth, and you met Carmy’s eyes across the narrow, concrete space between your tables. That familiar unravelling transpired in your chest. You felt your lungs expand a little wider and your neck and shoulders softened.
“You sure about that?” Carmy ventured. “I’m sure they won’t enjoy the cavities you’ll give them.” His smile was thin, close-lipped, and brief. Your heart fluttered but you were determined to ignore it and carry on with the conversation.
You narrowed your eyes at him, “Hm. As opposed to the heartburn that your sandwiches provide?”
Tina laughed.
Carmy gave a pointed look to your stockpile of baked goods near the back of your standing tent. You could practically hear the gears turning inside his mind.
He said, “You’re going to run out soon.”
“I can make more.” You shrugged nonchalantly and finally set aside the to-go box you finished. It wasn’t true. The baked goods you brought to the festival were the only ones you had. But you weren’t going tell Carmy that. You’d rather he viewed you as a skilled and prepared business owner.
“Can you?”
There was a touch of challenge in his voice and curiosity. You didn’t have a degree in cooking, or baking, but you were tenacious and figuring out everything by hands-on experience. Did that mean you fucked up a lot? Yes. One time you tried to make a meringue, the oven was too high, and it split terribly. Not the worst disaster. Another time, a mislabel resulted in banana bread being made with salt instead of sugar. It was completely inedible.
“Mhm.” You grabbed another flat box from beneath the table and began folding, “I’ve improved since last time.” The back of your neck flushed with the tempting memory of the last time Carmy was in your kitchen. The carboard bent with more force than you intended and you quickly re-adjusted.
You looked over your shoulder to Dani, “and Dani calls me Jefe in the kitchen.”
Tina appeared at Carmy’s side and used a spoon to drop relish on the hot dog within the red-and-white paper container.
“She’s calling you ‘Boss’.” She explained with a weighted, perceptive glance to Carmy. You didn’t know Tina or her relationship to Carmy well enough to even try and interpret the look. You filed it away to be Thought About Later.
“Huh.” You pursed your lips, finishing the second box quickly now that your attention wasn’t distracted on Carmy’s tattooed hands. “I was hoping for a cuter nickname.”
Tina muttered, “Try loquita.”
A fresh rush of customers brought you away from the folding station to the front table. The hours slipped by like sweet honey. You joked, you flushed and smiled at the compliments, and ran out of business cards. Ted returned for a re-stock on sample cookies and his bald head was shiny and cherry-tomato red from the sunlight.
“Ted, spend some time under the tent.” You said while untying your apron. “Gimme the box.”
“Oh, no! Boss - I got it.”
You pointedly held out your hand, staring at him, and wiggled your fingers. “Not a suggestion, Teddy. Box. Please.”
Ted sighed and reluctantly handed it over. You patted his sweaty cheeky with your hand. “Get some water, too. There’s some in the yellow cooler that Leslie brought.”
“There’s granola bars too.” Leslie added.
“I have my phone. Call me if you need anything.” You said before leaving and you felt like a Mom of Three instead of their boss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carmy watched you go and lost you instantly in the crowds of walking festivalgoers. He slid his fingers through his greasy, mussed hair. You lit up like a fucking Christmas tree today and he couldn’t—legitimately could not—stop staring. You were sincere and attentive to each customer with an openness on your face that he’s rarely seen. He knew you held softer edges, especially after you talked him through a panic attack, but he assumed they weren’t shared with anyone else. Especially not the general public.
You were clever, humorous, and vivacious in every interaction. His ears buzzed with the magnificent sound of your laughter and the lines of your smile burned into the back of his eyes. He scanned the crowd fruitlessly. Wherever you were, it wasn’t here, and you likely wouldn’t return for a while. He slipped a new pair of gloves on his hands and stepped around Tina in the tight space.
“You gonna chase after her or what?” Tina asked with a small, teasing grin.
“W-what? What?” He blinked and averted his gaze, “No.” It boggled his mind why Tina would even ask a question like that. All the vendor and food booths were scheduled to remain open until the festival ended. He couldn’t go anywhere.
“Good.” She sniffed, “I don’t want to work this booth alone.”
She continued, “Not saying I couldn’t, but it’s so much easier with you here, Jeff.”
“Heard, Chef.” Carmy said, distracted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You lifted the cooler into the back of Delilah’s van with a strained, exhausted grunt. You pushed both hands through your hair to move the damp pieces out of your face. You wished you could pull your t-shirt off and twist away the sweat that’s soaked into the cotton. The riverside granted a gracious, lovely breeze but the hot sun reflected off water and the black pavement. It was no wonder Ted returned to the tent sweating like a stuck pig.
From behind you, Carmy said your name.  
He was backlit by the picturesque setting orange and buttery golden sunlight. The light framed him in holy radiance. The clouds were pink-tinged, like cotton candy whisps, and the river glittered with a thousand diamonds across its quiet, mirrored surface. A trail of cigarette smoke snaked upward from Carmy’s fingers, and a flick of ash scattered onto the wind.
You leaned back into the side of Delilah’s pink van and extended your hand with a pointed glance to his cigarette. His blue eyes brightened in wordless reply. He sidled next to you and his shoulder brushed yours. You exhaled smoke and watched it plume and float away like another cloud into the cosmos.
Carmy was the first to break the gentle, comfortable silence. “You were incredible today.”
You smirked around the cigarette filter. Your heart swelled with his praise. You hated to admit that it meant something hearing it from him. He wasn’t being fake or manipulative. Carmy was remarkably honest. It was refreshing after a career of sly, passive-aggressive behavior within offices and the empty sympathy that ran like an artery through your childhood.
“You weren’t so bad yourself.” You passed the cigarette back to him. The dying light cut his profile like a gold-leaf painting of an overwrought Emperor. Your heart squeezed like a fist. “Nothing caught fire.”
“Not yet.”
Leaning side by side, the warm metal of the van pressed against your spine, and the back of his knuckles grazed against yours. If you moved your hand less than an inch then you could hook your index finger around his. (Not that you were going to. But you could). You licked your dry lips and lightly bit your lower lip before releasing it.
He passed the cigarette again. “We still have to make it back to the Beef.”
“I have faith in you.” You said with a slow, careful smile.
You tilted your head, temple pressed into the side of the van and looked up at him. Your heart jumped in surprise. He was looking at you, head leaning against the metal, just like yours. His lips were parted softly, his face flushed and sweaty from the laborious day you both endured. The pockets of blue sky within the pink clouds were sallow and dull compared to the clear, alluring shade of his eyes.
You were trapped like a rabbit in a snare. After the chaos of today and this week, nothing and no one could move you from this spot. This quiet, sacred space of resplendent sunlight with Carmy’s knuckles touching yours and your smile reflecting in the wide, dark pupils of his weary eyes.
His lips quirked into a small, dimpled smile. The flame scalded the tip of your nose. Too close, too close.
“I should get going.” You said quietly as if afraid to break the spell of this moment. Carmy held a magnetic force over you, drawing you into his orbit, and threatening to upset the balance of your entire newly built life.
“Yeah, me too.” His smile lingered, “Tina’s waiting for me.”
“You shouldn’t keep her waiting then.”
He nodded. “Probably not.”
No one moved. Chicago breathed with life around you with cars honking intermittently and the faint, thumping bass of someone showing off their sound system. As you stood here delaying the inevitable farewell, you realized the real problem. Carmy slid into the interlock of this new life like a missing key. You saw an echo of yourself in him. A kinship. Your similarities ran deeper than your differences and you suspected you’d uncover more if you allowed yourself to dig deeper.
You sighed, a delicate exhale, filled with a thousand things you couldn’t say. You wanted to invite him back the bakery. You wanted him to meet everyone – your team, your ragtag little family – and you wanted to grab coffee with him before work. Your fingers twitched, knocking knuckles against his, and Carmy’s eyelashes flutter.
You pushed away from the van, “Night, Carmy.”
“Wait—” He took a half-step forward toward you and a rushing sense of déjà vu hit you. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be here today?”
You turned your face away and focused on the other vendors dismantling and packing away their supplies. You couldn’t tell him the simple, complicated truth: ‘I didn’t tell you because I was afraid of getting close to you and letting you in more than I already have. Because you deserve better than I could ever give you.’
“I don’t know.” You shrugged, “I just didn’t think it mattered.”
He said quickly, “It matters.”
Your brow furrowed and your gaze locked onto his. His raw sincerity threatened to take the breath from your lungs. An ambulance siren cut through the air, sharp and wailing, and a flash of red light danced fleetingly across his face.
“I – I guess I just…” He averted his eyes and scratched his forehead. “I’m always surprised when I see you. You’re never where I – where I expect. It, um, it would be nice to know when you’re gonna be somewhere.”
You swallowed and pressed your lips together. How could you even respond to that? You considered deflecting with humor or being rude and calling him a stalker again. Yet, neither response felt suitable. Carmy blinked a few times and shook his head. He seemed to come to terms with something and you watched it play out across his face.
“You don’t have to tell me, actually.” He began. “I’m glad the bakery thing is working out for you. You seem…I mean…you look good. Y-you look happy.”
“I am.” You admitted, “especially when I need to be.” You added with deep, vulnerable honesty. The sincerity of his nature effortlessly pulled the truth from your lips.
Carmy met your eyes and there—you saw it—the mirror, the echo, the similarity beneath the exhaustion and ambition. You realized with a painful, resounding bang of your heart that the emotion was grief. You clenched your jaw. Silence prolonged, weighted, and poignant, tugging at your heartstrings and begging for a reaction.
A line formed between his brows, “None of that, back there with your customers or – or with your employees, felt fake to me.”
“It’s not fake…it’s…more like…” You rubbed the back of your neck, searching for the right words, “practiced compartmentalizing. I guess.”
He stepped closer and your heart heightened, beating incessantly, and demanding you to feel. A chill flooded the air with the suns’ absence and the sky overhead blossomed like an old bruise.
“And now?”
You peered at him and were a little suspicious of his question. You suspected his question went beyond your happy-go-lucky performance at the festival. “You mean like right now? With you?”
He nodded a little. You inhaled deeply. You weren’t sure what sort of answer Carmy was looking for. Did he want to know if he made you happy? Did he want to know if you compartmentalized your feelings around him? Did any of it actually matter? You knew that you breathed easier around him but telling him would be disastrous. Sort-of-Friends don’t tell each other things like that.
You shrugged. “I don’t know.”
It wasn’t a lie. You weren’t sure how to define your emotions around Carmy. You weren’t sure if you even wanted to. The flames were starting to singe the fine hairs in your nostrils. You were going to burn yourself. If Carmy was the bonfire, then you were reactive gasoline. Everything would blow up in both of your faces if you allowed yourself to pursue this. (Whatever this was. This weird pseudo-friendship that tempted to scrape against the deeper, hidden parts of yourself).
You reached into the pocket of your jeans and the van car keys jingled, “I really have to go. S-sorry.” You took a step backward, “See you in the view across the street.”
“Yeah, I get it.” A muscle in his throat moved. ���See you.”
You climbed into the driver seat with your palms damp and slick against the steering wheel. The van rumbled to life, loud as the heartbeat in your ears. Against your better judgement, you peeked into the review mirror before merging into traffic.
Carmy stood facing the river. The shroud of twilight around him diffused by the orange lamps crowded with moths overhead. You straightened your shoulders and tore your eyes away – forward, through windshield glass, to the busy, frenzied streets.
>>>> (Part 7) >>> 
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Text
Rachel Daly x Reader
Part Eleven - Job Centre/I Didn’t Say That
AN: I have two alternatives to this part and can’t choose which one I prefer, I love the smushy one but can’t bring myself to delete the first, I will rewrite this one day.
“Now tell me about you, not Rachel the footballer, Rachel the person… I want to know everything” you asked as you laid on your side propping your head up with your arm. Rachel spoke about growing up, school, college in America, her family, silly things like her favourite number and colour and old best friends, coming out, exes and why they didn’t work out, her home town.. everything. You listened intently, drawn into every word coming out of her beautiful mouth and then she listened to you and your life.
“So, what’s going to happen when you go away for the World Cup?” you asked intrigued by her answer. You had been wondering if she’d expect you to stay at your mum’s or house sit for her or this is where our journey would end. “Errrr…. You’re coming with me?!” she said in a ‘are you stupid’ kinda voice. “As much as I would love to, I do have a job remember?” knowing realistically, going for the whole tournament would be nye on impossible “why don’t you get a job where you can travel the world with me?” she said surprisingly seriously “Oh yeah, where am I gonna get one of them?” you looked at her with furrowed brows “The job centre?” You both giggled but after giving her a look of seriousness her expression turned to disappointment. “Okay okay… but will you come out for the final if we make it?” she puppy eyed you “If?! If you make the final?! You’re gonna win and you all know it!” You tickled her to bring the smile back to her face “I’d like to see you try and stop me from coming! What date is it, I’ll book my annual leave tomorrow”. She told you the tournament dates then mentioned she’ll be going to camp in a couple months to train before the tournament. All in all she’ll be gone for close to two months - longer than the time you’ve been together. You decided you better make the most of having her close to you and listed off the things you want to do before she leaves. You wanted to see your grandparents and introduce her to the rest of your family. She wanted to go on a night out. You both wanted to go on more dates so you set to work planning adventures before she went away.
You had work the next day and suggested getting Daly Brightness back together “you know, from a fans perspective your content is really lacking, what happened with that?” Rach said it started during lockdown when she was in America but they became too busy to keep it up. Suggesting that now she’s home they should make more videos and build a brand, Rach called her to plan a friend date.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“So, what’s going to happen when you go away for the World Cup?” you asked knowing it was only a few months away “Errrr…. You’re coming with me?!” she said in a ‘are you stupid’ kinda voice. “Babe, I do have a job remember?” replying with seriousness. “Right? It’s only four weeks… oh but camp is first that’s another three weeks” she started working out the maths in her head “over a month without you, how will I cope?!” acting dramatically while laughing. “You could quit..?” she said in a jokey sort of secretly serious kinda way. “Oh yeah, then how will I afford to live?” The edges of her mouth lifted slightly trying to disguise her disappointment “I’m just scared that when I go away, you’ll forget about me” she puppy eyed you with a pouty lip, you laughed so hard you nearly fell off the bed “Rachel Ann Daly! There’s nothing in this world that could make me forget about you! You could forget about me though! How many other girls out there have your shirts from a night with you, I think I’m in more danger of being forgotten here!” You played jokingly. She looked a bit taken back like she was actually trying to work out the numbers then sat up crossed legged to face you looking all serious.
“The numbers don’t matter, there’s been quite a few but that’s because I was sad and fans are easy” you scoffed at her “no hear me out!” You calmed down to listen to her reasoning “I was sad and lost after my dad died and I just wanted to feel something” as she pulled the heart strings “none of them made me feel anything, I literally left as soon as it was over because I felt disgusting” she paused and took your hands in hers “I didn’t leave you, in fact I haven’t let you leave me! That night with you was different, you didn’t just make me feel something, you made me feel everything! You made me vulnerable and treated me like a person not just like a semi famous footballer who wants a quicky. You were gentle and kind and loving and I felt like a magnet was drawing me to you. I’ve never asked anyone to be my girlfriend apart from other footballers and that never works out because we’re always in different places on different schedules. You’re like a breath of fresh air, you don’t treat me like someone who’s on the tv every week or someone who gets asked for autographs and photos, you treat me like a normal person. You’ve met my family, you talked to my dad, you’re supportive and everyone I know loves you. You’re the only name I remember and the only one I have photos of. Don’t you dare think you’re just another hook up! Yeah, there’s a few girls out there who have my shirt after a game but you’re the only person I wanna see wearing it. Our sex is fucking amazing but I don’t love you just because of the sex. You’re the only one that I’ve bought home, you’re the only one that’s met my family, you’re the only one that’s made TikTok’s with my team, you’re the only one I’ve woken up with after, you’re the only one period. Heck I think you’re THE one!”
You were taken aback, you didn’t know what to say you just knew that whatever was happening inside of you right now made you want to cry. “Baby, I knew you were different the moment after our first time - that moment of care and attention changed everything for me”. You were full on crying now. It was the confirmation you had been hoping for. Rachel took you into her arms “I didn’t know if you felt the same way I do and I was so scared of the heartbreak that would come when you were finished with me but I wanted to hold on to you as long as I could until then” you sobbed. “I can never imagine breaking your heart (y/n/n), you’re the purest soul I’ve ever met, you’re perfect for me” she stroked the strands of hair from your damp face. “Going back to the part where you said you loved me…” you said looking up at her batting your eyelashes “I didn’t say..” “I don’t love you just for the sex, is what you said” interrupting her. Rachel’s cheeks started to turn rosy as she searched for a response “shh, pretend you didn’t hear that yet” she said with a cheeky smile making you feel all gooey inside. She pulled you onto her lap and kissed you to stop any more questions being asked.
Part Twelve - Fight Night
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yourqueenb · 3 months
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You have no idea how happy I am to see that other people like you don't like blades 2 as well. Like yes it was decent, but on the same level as book 1 in the LEAST.
And I agree, book 3 seems like an excuse to get fans off of their back about the writing. The finale felt extremely disappointing, compared to the thrill you could feel in book 1 end
Yeah, I’m still gonna play book 3 and (foolishly) hope that it’ll be better. But those hopes aren’t too high because book 2 was not a good set up for book 3 at all in my opinion. There’s so much going on. I don’t like that Valax is a part of our friend group now. However, the group dynamics were off long before that if I’m being real. Mal’s route was ruined for me.
When I was going through and deleting my screenshots the other day, I reread the “You slept through it scene” and just felt a renewed sense of hurt and anger at him and really all of our friends. Mal caught a lot of heat from me specifically because he’s my LI and the one who said such an awful thing. But honestly, the rest of the group essentially agreed with him by expanding on what he said (Imtura and Nia) or not saying anything at all (Tyril) and only getting on one accord to exclude MC.
And then on top of all of that, there are quite a few holes that really should be patched up. The plot was a mess for the majority of the story. Tbh it was almost giving Endless Summer because they were locking important information behind diamond scenes and in the lore tablets.
So all this to say that at this point in time, I no longer have faith that PB can handle complex storytelling. Their parent company and higher ups (unsurprisingly) only care about money. And the writers themselves are too lazy and too biased. Does that mean they can no longer write enjoyable stories? No, of course not. But I do think they need to rein it in and be a bit more realistic about what they can handle right now because there’s nothing wrong with a simpler book/plot that’s aware of what it’s trying to accomplish. And it’s clear that they were far too ambitious with Blades 2
#choices bolas#choices blades#blades of light and shadow#choices stories you play#playchoices#if book 3 is as disappointing as or worse than book 2 I’m just gonna ignore them and only consider book 1 canon#and then just make up my own headcanon for what happened after lol#I think i and quite a few other people have been operating off of the notion that PB could tell great complex stories#but they weren’t because cheap smut is what sells#but now I can’t even believe that anymore#they just don’t have the range#and maybe I should’ve come to this conclusion sooner but 🤷🏽‍♀️#and back to the Mal thing for a second I’m being so serious when I say rereading that scene broke my heart all over again#when I first read it my initial reaction was anger so I couldn’t even really focus on anything immediately after that#but upon rereading my heart just sunk for MC#bc if the writers did one thing well it was making the rift between MC and the rest of the group palpable#and it was also very obvious that she was hurt by that and ended up internalizing Mal’s statement/the group’s sentiments on that year#‘Just a little blood No scars Nothing I was asleep for all of it My body works fine’#so I’ll just close out by saying enjoying the book was a challenge for me#and it shouldn’t have been because I *wanted* to enjoy it#book 1 was so good and it getting greenlit for a book 2 was such an unexpected surprise#plus we waited so long for it but it just did not meet expectations#choices#choices app#choices ask
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hee-pster · 7 months
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Wassupppp hey jan even tho I don’t send ask here often but your blog is my space of comfort and you really don’t need to reply to this if it makes you uncomfortable I understand that being a doctor is a really hard occupation and your doing so well 🤍 it’s just that I need somewhere to rant today ( btw I was the study tips / wannabe doctor anon , idk if u get a lot of those tho ! ) anyways I was told I failed my math exams today which suck because I ended my exams today , and the exams that I sat for also wasn’t going so well so I was just ready to avoid everything and now I need to take a retest , and actually this is my first semester in a pre med course , so it really really sucks , and I was never good at studies but I really do try my best and I’m feeling so drained and I really wanna skip the test but I can’t because it counts in my GPA and I really don’t know what to do , ngl i feel like dropping out LOL but also at the same time many people would kill for a place in my course so I really can’t take things for granted , I know the give up mentality is bad and I’m working on it I swear but I just say I wanna drop out but I’ll never actually do that lol ! Now I just don’t know what I should say to my parents like “ hey lol your eldest daughter is a total failure 😍 she failed maths so she has to retake it 😍 “ I know they are gonna be so disappointed and I just wanna avoid it , I just wanna hide from the world and not come out lol , anyways I know this is long and I’m so so sorry if you felt uncomfortable or irritated by this I never meant for you to feel this way , you could just delete this ask and please please don’t feel bad if you do , it’s really alright !! Anyways I really hope your shifts get better and life just rules for u , love u 🤍
Hi my love and no don’t worry, I’m not at all disturbed by this but my answer might be long so I’m gonna add a read more to not clog up the dash🩶
Firstly the eldest daughter part, I get it so much because I also am one, I’m also the eldest granddaughter and I think there’s pressure on our shoulders made off of everyone’s expectations since the day we were born so, I know the feeling that you feel right now — it’s exhaustion.
You’re just burnt out, you’re not a failure, you’re just tired.
One mistake, or one bad note does not make you a failure, it just simply means that you have been mistaken once, that’s it. Now maybe you’re an over thinker like me so, I know how bad it gets because wanting to be perfect and wanting to be the pride of your parents combined with overthinking makes you be hyperaware of everything you do — good and bad.
But that’s not fair to you because you’re just a girl, you’re a human being just as everybody else and therefore you WILL make mistakes today, you will make mistakes Tomorrow, you made some mistakes yesterday.
You’re gonna get bad test results sometimes and cry because you’re sad which is valid, sometimes you’re gonna have fights w your friends or spouse — what I mean is that “mistakes” and or “difficulties” will always be there in your life so, set your expectations about yourself realistically.
You can not avoid those things till you die, I mean everyone fails at their exams sometimes, everyone gets sick at least once, everyone argues with their parents at least once etc etc , it is not such an abnormal thing to happen so let it flow.
Don’t try to control everything, okay?
You’ve studied for your test, but you failed, it happens, it is heartbreaking but it happens, it is what it is, you can’t possibly control the past after all.
So let go.
Take your retake because maybe that’s life offering you a second chance, I mean why won’t you take a chance that’s already there? There’s nothing you can lose, you’re just taking a test, you’re just trying right now and it is alright.
Don’t drop the course because I mean I don’t mean to come off as bold, but you seem really passionate about it considering how you come to a literal stranger — aka me on the internet to talk about it, which is enough sign that you don’t wanna just quit it like that.
So take that test, and decide regarding the result. You don’t know the results yet so you can’t possibly know what’s the best out of this situation for you. Take the test and whether you fail or not, at least you can say “I tried” at the end, which is always better than sitting there all sad and alone while overthinking the million possible outcomes, because we can never know no matter how much we overthink it.
Stop putting too much thought on it, forget about people and your parents for a second and just breathe, calm down, and just take in the result of your exams, it’s okay to fail it’s just normal, it’s just humane.
And then clear your head and decide, do you wanna see the outcome? Or do you really not wanna do this anymore, from the bottom of your heart?
I’m not talking about you not wanting to do this because you’re stressed about how people might react if you end up failing, I’m talking about deep down, do you really wanna just quit?
Answer that on your own, without the effect of anyone else and that’s my advice to you. Decision making is hard for people like us but though it is hard, you must do it on your own.
And just know whatever you decide, it is okay. Nothing defines you, no grades, no marks, not what others think of you. You’re just you and that is all that is. And for that you’re important, your feelings and thoughts are important, don’t invalidate them for anything else.
I’m happy that you’ve opened up to me about this, and I hope that things I said can help you although you don’t need mine nor no one else’s help. All you need to do is to plug your ears to outside noise, and hear yourself out for once, okay? You’re the only one you should care about the most, so your thoughts aren’t any less important that everyone else’s.
And you’ve been giving their opinion a lot of value which is the main cause of your stress I assume, so give some value to your own feelings and thoughts as well for this time. It’s being a very rough time for you I can see, but this will pass too trust me, and there will be better times and better days <3 so calm down, and give it time, think less and do more, next thing you know you’re done with it, you got this love!
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thunderbottle · 9 months
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what brush do you use for lineart? I’m on the hunt for a new one and I looovvveee the texture of yours :)
it's this brush called "frankenstein" that i honestly have zero clue where i got it from and dont know how to easily put the file on here so im just going to describe how i find my lineart brushes instead. finding a good toothy brush takes a LOT of trial and error and you're probably gonna end up downloading a bunch of brushes that wont work and that youll end up deleting. this is normal. my tips are to look for brushes that are called "realisitic ink pen" or "texture pencil" or stuff like that. realistic texture stuff. this usually gives you a good edge and you can also usually turn the opacity stuff off (so that even if the brush is meant to be feathery you can force it to just be a block of solid color). then again you might know all this stuff already lol. if you have CSP anon i can see if i can give you the file for the brush bc CSP has a brush file type that i dont think is compatible with like. any other drawing program.
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andiitom · 2 years
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tho you a new writer in the twst famdom do u have any relastioship hottakes or any hot takes in gen?? 😳
Yes I do bestie 💙
There is no proofreading i wrote this while otp with sister.
Tbh realistically no I don't think any of them besides Trey, Deuce and Jack are the best for relationships.
*will edit this at a later date*
THESE ARE MY HOT TAKES BLOCK ME IF YOU DON’T LIKE THEM.
(Magior editing)
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Riddle 
He means well but he's always got something to say and he'll have an opinion on anything that's not up to his standards. Yes he said he'll stop being stingy on the rules but you can't just forget how you was raised so it’s going to take awhile for him to get out that mindset. 
You also have to deal with an overbearing mother in law and I'm like 39% sure in one of is event card he said something abt bein in an arranged marriage(dm me if i’m wrong cuz i might be wrong)even so you just gon be the other person cuz his mom defo not ending it cuz he met some some random hussy that’s supposedly from another world.
Trey
You'll probably be second in his life like he seems very family oriented and would drop anything for his family.
He's 100% will be running the bakery so yous probably have to put in some work at the bakery if you want things to last. 
Carter
Man is always on his phone. He's gon have impossible beauty standards for his partner.
He's always online so if you dont want your pictures online he 1) either deletes all the pictures of you off his page and then other bitches in his dm wanting to link cuz they think yall broke up or 2) he doesnt post you and everyone thinks he’s single and he got hoes in his dms wanting to link. 
Deuce
Based on the Deuce you are going for bad boy deuce or good boy deuce.
If bad boy Deuce… he was the leader of a gang so if you down for that life baby better have them hands.
but somewhere down the line he gon probably ghost you when he go to nrc.
Though if you going after good boy Deuce you probably gonna haft to initiate some of the romance cuz while you wondering why he hasnt replied to your text from 3 hrs ago he over here trying to spell gorgus. 
Ace
BRO IT’S IN CANNON HE GHOSTED HIS GIRLFRIEND CUZ SHE WAS BORING..
So besties if you aint some manic pixie dream girl/boy/person you aint worth a damn to him, you just gon be his booty call sorry it’s the truth.
Even if you start dating you gon have to deal wif his gf(he didn’t have the balls to break up with the poor girl) and his old friends cuz they gon have some questions.
Leona
Do you really want that can of worms? You just with him cuz he’s a catboy or because he’s royalty. I’m like 30% sure he also said his brother is trying to set him up with someone so like riddle you gon be the side piece.
I know some yall think you gonna be the one to claim the throne cuz plot reasons he said he’s not well like in the royal court. So for you bestie to come in try to fix almost 20 years of damge.
Yall think he some alpha but if Ruggie 17 year old has to make sure Leona a 20 year old grade repeater eats, has clean clothes and hair his brushed bestie thats some REAL BETA MALE BEHAVIOR
Ruggie 
I can tell some yall never watched NatGeo documentary you aint gon be the housespouce he is.
He’s wearing the pearls and heels you wearing the suit n’ tie, and with that HE A GOLDIGGER he aint messing wif a broke bitch as soon that bank account gets into the red he gone!
But if he do stay with you he just gon financially abuse you.
Jack 
He’s the goodest boy if you into working out, cold weather and large families you good.
but if you don’t you might just want to call it quits cuz he's going to want at least 3 kids bio or not.
He also would want a parner to workout with. He’s also hard headed so he’s gonna mention wanting to work out or the topic of kids a lot and that's gon lead to a blowout fight.
Azul
He’s got a victim complex and you gon have to be the mentally sound one in this relationship.
You also have to be a long distance cuz you gon have to drink a transformation potion daily or a water breathing potion cuz he is not doing that.
The relationship will be 100% contractinal and when you lose your usefulness he dropping you. 
Jade
Same situation as Azul. He can also be violent, he also has his UM and can have you confess your deepest darkest secret and black mail you with that.
We don’t get a lot on him and Flyod’s parents but from what we do get they sound dangerous and if he wants you gone he just gotta make a couple calls. 
Floyd
He’s the poster child for ‘dead: do not eat’. Like the prior two he’ll drop you, like what Woody thought Andy would do to him with Buzz around.
He also violent and will put his hands on you, none that “I can change him” bullshit you will come out that relationship(if you do) with cuts and bruises.
It's giving 'if I can't have no one can'
Kalim
You wildn if you think he not already engaged.
You also gota fight for your life cuz if the favorite or main bitch the others gon be jealous and to get rid of you, you better come with those hands.
Like I said none you(even me 🥲) are the one just cuz he’s nice to doesnt mean he like you. 
Jamil
You gon have to be his ride or die
if does that travling like he said he’ll do when he graduates you gon have to go with him or wait for him.
If he dont do that travling... hope you like working cuz that’s watchu gon be doing..
Aint no big family confrontation dont embarrass yourself and get to work.
Vil
Don’t do that to yourself bestie..
I can’t speak from experience but from what I hear having no social presence at all and dating a celebrity is not easy.
Like Riddle he’s even more critical of what you wear/eat.
just because he say he loves you no matter what you look like(from experience them the type of dudes to cheat with type bitch he say he dont like)
he’s subuly trying to change you. 
Rook
Why?
He radiates “where my hug at?” energy
proceed with caution. Homie liyin to yo ass on the daily he’s they type to tell you stop snooping if you suspect he cheating but if he gets the inkling you seein someone on the side ‘you the lyin ass hoe’ even if you aint.
Dont be surprised to if you find pics or vids of you on some weird website we seen that corner in his dorm room and don forget them thicc ass picture album he just of Neige.
Eple 
Sorry but how he acts throught the story is giving deep south backcountry.
That little talk with Deuce during chap 5 and worth a damn in the long run he just learned to hide his toxicity behind his cuteness.
You will be the monster of every situation even if you move to the city which is most likely not gon happen.
He’s the type to leave you while making dinner cuz his grandma said she making his favorite.
Idia 
Yall can’t fight me on this Idia’s an incel if he not on his games or with Ortho he on them forums talking about his ‘nagging bitch s/o’.
He’s more like a child than a partner idia is what an ipad kid is when they grow up sorry not sorry.
He comparing you to his loli waifu.
i dont want to hear none that ‘I can change him’ no we cannot sit your ass down. 
(the diasomnia group and staff are hard to write cuz their limited screen time my edit this sometime after chap 7)
Malleus
Part of the “you crazy if you don’t think he is already engaged” club even if he aint you buggin if you think yous gonna be accepted into fae culture like that..
It's cannon he gets angry really fast so you walking on eggshells.
He will alienate you from everyone.
You gotta learn the history of the valley of thorns and the different fae’s etiquette.
If you two have kids you gotta be careful cuz they just might end up like Sebek’s dog ass.
and unless it’s confermed otherwise and you are able to have kids laying an egg doesent sound as fun as it does on paper.
Lila
Bro I know he into some weird shit hope you ready to be bound and gagged from the ceiling while molten gold is being poured onto you.
Also just remember you just a blip in his memory even if you do have kids he and them will slowly forget you, you aint his ‘only true love’.
Silver 
You taking care of him more than he is taking care of you.
When he not asleep he working as Malleus knight.
Sebek
The man that needs no introduction.
You at least eighth best in his book, nowhere near the level of Malleus, Lila, his mom, late-grandpa, siblings and (maybe) his dad.
He also a raging rasist and he wants to keep that bloodline pure and if you want that bestie all to you but I am judging you.
Crowley
He the type to go on a ‘business trip’ with that work friend he told you not to worry about.
Which is funny as hell the relationship you have wif him is cuz you was using him cheat on your ex and now he cheatin on you.. take that L cuz that's on you.
Crewel
Yall either fucking for passion or fucking for pleasure aint no in between.
It’s giving you was one of his students then you graduate then got married not long after. 
Trein
AYO!? You that down bad?
Either way his kids hate you cuz you either younger than them by a scary amount or you have 3 year age gap with them.
Vargas 
Ion see shit for him but bestie he’s the one that got you bricked up?
He embodies men with a podcast.
He’ll tell you straight up your fat and don’t get mad cuz he’ll do it again. 
Sam
Ion see that much shit for him either but it’s the right choice, I love you and do you want to be friends?
There's nothing wrong with him but break up with him and he'll askin his friends to make yo life hell.
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thepilotdogee · 1 year
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On Saving Asriel
NOTE: This is a repost of a blog by tumblr user  acerikus, whose blog seems to have been deleted for some reason. Acerikus written this blog post in which i frequently refer to in regards to Asriel and Flowey being one and the same. For the purposes of preservation I am pasting the contents of said blog here. (Unfortunately I didn’t save the pictures from the original blog so I’m just uploading my own to help illustrate the point)
UPDATE: The original blog is back  up. Go see and like that one instead if you havent already!
Link:  https://acerikus.tumblr.com/post/665286668828508160/on-saving-asriel
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I think the thing that gets me the most about the 'ralsei and/or deltarune is a creation that comes from our (as players) desires to save asriel, based on what little we really know of him' theory is like... If we did true pacifist, we already saved Asriel.
Let's talk about the epilogue.
No matter how Asriel spun it at the end of true pacifist, turning back into a flower didn't magically take away everything he learned and felt. He tells us not to reset again and to let frisk live their life, he says he can't go through all of that again.
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And last year, Toby gave us the alarm clock app dialogue, where it was confirmed that Flowey also got to go to the surface. Look at his cute lil bow! He likes it.
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I recommend taking a look through all of his dialogue here, it really shines a light on what he's like on the surface in a way that I think proves something - even if he lost feelings when he originally became a flower, this Flowey? He cares. He doesn't wanna show it, of course. He has a reputation to uphold in this timeline.
But he daydreams about the shiny new bike he wishes he could have for Christmas. He sees his mother passed out in the garage, tuckered out after partying and gets her back home and tucked in, and leaves her a glass of water as overfilled as he and chara always used to do it as kids. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if that bow he's wearing is from papyrus.
Yeah, Flowey doesn't wanna show he cares and hides it behind acting edgy and mean spirited in an almost tsundere fashion, but... Realistically, would a 'saved' Asriel be much different? I think people forget sometimes that Asriel was an asshole for most of his fight - he didn't just magically regain the ability to love and become the Sweet Golden Child we see him as. He wanted to keep killing us, to keep resetting and continuing the 'game'.
What really gave him pause was being reminded of his past, of growing up with chara and the love and kindness of his family. And, after telling himself he didn't feel anything for so long, and that he just wanted chara back because they could 'understand' him like this... Of course it was enough to break the dam. He was overwhelmed - he's not felt like this in so long, and it's so, so much. His capability to love didn't magically return as soon as he became a goat, so I don't think it'd have to immediately fade just bc he became a flower again, either. It's never outright stated as fact that you can't love without a soul, it's just his assumption.
But no matter what - this is a part of him. He's reset countless times, done everything he could think of, became desensitised to anything people would do or say or feel... He's seen it hundreds of times before, and it lost its charm. Flowey was always Asriel, and when he first woke as a flower he was still this scared, crybaby child who wanted his parents.
So let's say we 'saved' him in the undertale universe and he miraculously became a goat again... Then what? You think the twisted sense of humour he's developed over time is vanishing because he's a goat again? That he's gonna instantly unlearn acting like he doesn't care, or easily getting fed up with people are talking? Nah, not when he see settles, and can just be himself. Flowey is Asriel.
Think of the amalgamates. They were all people who fell down, and became victims of a life saving experiment that went horribly, horribly wrong and put them through something truly horrible for who-knows-how-long. But at the end of true pacifist? We welcomed them anyway, and they were accepted by their families even with how much they'd changed. They died and yet they got a second chance with their loved ones. We considered that enough.
Flowey is no different. Asriel died and became an amalgamate (albeit in a different way), but he got his second chance with his family. Sure, he doesn't have arms or legs now and he can't ride that bike, but he's still himself. He's still the kid who overfilled that glass because he was copying his sibling and he's still that little boy who loves his mother very much.
We already saved Asriel, and in a post epilogue world, he's going forth without the threat of resets and time loops, only one life left to enjoy and make the most out of, dialogue and friendships and people being fresh and new and one time only. He's fed up of our influence and wants undertale's world to be left in peace, player-free. He can work through it in his own way, and he will still be who he is, who he's grown up to be.
But bringing this back to deltarune, to the idea of us trying to 'save' him even now, by wanting more... Whatever we'd get back wouldn't be him, not really. We rejected that in persuit of an idealised version of him who never existed. Anything we get back wouldn't truly be the same character we spent so much time with in undertale.
That in itself feels like a tragedy.
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lemonlillybee · 1 year
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B is for Bats
Title: B is for Bats 
@halloweenie-event Prompt: A Swarm of Bats
Summary: Peter runs into a swarm of bats on patrol
Word Count: 657
Read on AO3
“Mr. Stark?”
“Hey, kid. Did you make it home okay?” Tony’s voice is strained on the other end of the call, almost like he’s angry, and Peter’s stomach drops.
“Y-yeah, I’m home. Why?” A million thoughts rush through his mind. Did he do something wrong? Why is Mr. Stark mad at him? Maybe he’d messed up something in the lab last time he was there. 
“Oh, you know. I got a weird notification about your vitals earlier. What was up with that?”
“Uh, nothing, I’m fine.”
“Okay then. I’m just gonna send you a little video I got from Karen tonight,” Tony chuckles, and a second later Peter’s phone buzzes with the notification. 
Peter taps the speakerphone button and pulls the phone from his ear, opening the notification to find a video attachment, and he suddenly realizes exactly what the footage is going to show.   
“Mr. Stark,” he whines, embarrassment heating his cheeks. As much as he doesn’t want to relive the terrible moment, something makes him open the video, and he turns up the volume on his phone as it begins to play. 
At first, it’s just him swinging through the city at dusk, chattering away as skyscrapers whoosh by.
“Do you always talk to yourself like that?” Tony asks, and Peter shrugs even though Tony can’t see him.
“I guess I don’t really notice it,” he mumbles. On the screen, he lands on a fire escape decorated with pumpkins and orange twinkle lights, then climbs up a few more floors, passing two scarecrows and a variety of fake spiderwebs and tombstones. 
When he gets to the top, he does a flip off of the building, then freefalls for so long that Peter can practically hear Tony’s worry through the phone before he lifts his head to spot his next target. His arm stretches out in front of him as he shoots a web, and less than a second later a rapid fluttering noise fills the air as he swings right into a swarm of bats.
The video makes it look like there were only a handful of bats, but Peter’s sure that can’t be right. It was a huge swarm of them, and they had surrounded him so quickly and so completely that he’d almost fallen to his death right there in the streets of New York City. 
“Ouch,” Tony comments out loud when the video shows Peter landing haphazardly on a rooftop and immediately falling to his knees. His panicked screeching rings out and Peter buries his head in his hands as the sound replays.
“This is so embarrassing,” he groans, and he hears Tony laugh.
The recording goes dark for a moment as Peter curls up into a tight ball, the bats still surrounding him if the muffled grunts are anything to go by. Finally, after several minutes, Peter falls onto his back, the view of the darkening sky shaking back and forth as he huffs and puffs. When he hears the sound of his own hysterical laughter, Peter stops the video.
“That sucks,” he grumbles. “Please don’t show that to anyone.” 
“No promises, kid,” Tony replies in that same strained voice as before, only this time Peter realizes it’s because he’s holding in laughter. He sighs and switches his speaker off, tucking his phone between his ear and his shoulder and curling up on his side on his bed. 
“Ughhh.”
“I think I’m going to decorate the Tower for Halloween this year,” Tony teases. “I saw some very realistic bats the other day.”
“Mr. Stark!!” 
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Tony relents. “But seriously, you’re okay, right? You landed pretty hard there.” 
Peter closes his eyes and reaches down to rub his sore knees. “Yep. I’m good. I’d be better if you deleted that video.”
“I’ll think about it,” Tony says. Peter knows it’s a complete lie. “Get some sleep, bud. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow, Mr. Stark. Goodnight.” 
“Goodnight, Roos.”
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mika-you-nerd · 2 years
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Celebrating the delicious last course coming out in a few hours by making a concerning amount of incorrect quotes (ft @ava-ships and @spookysonas lol)
Dolly: Everyone synchronise your watches.  Ollie: don't know how to do that.  Sal: I don't wear a watch.  Chauncey: Time is a construct.
Beppi: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour. 
Goopy: Is this mistletoe?  Val: Uh, no, that's basil.  Goopy: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you.  Val: Yeah, it’s still basil. 
Specter: *slowly pushes a cannon into a 17th century bank* Okay everyone, be cool. This is a robbery.
Devil: Who do we know that has handcuffs?  Tallulah: Well Dice and I-  Dice: *elbows Tallulah*  Tallulah: ...wouldn't know.
Isla: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.  Beppi: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.  Isla: You mean ring bearER, right?  Beppi:.... Isla: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.
Beppi: What’s up with Chauncey? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?  Ollie: He's just a little overwhelmed.  Beppi: Why?  Sal: Dolly smiled at him.
Tallulah: How do you want your coffee?  Dice: Black, like my soul.  Tallulah:  Tallulah: Dice, honey, your soul is a latte. 
Goopy: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.  Dolly: ...We're on the ground floor.  Goopy: I know but I want a dramatic exit.
Luanne: Did it hurt when you fell-  Specter: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-  Luanne: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.  Specter: ...  Luanne: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
Sal: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.  Ollie: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.  Dolly: A realist sees a freight train.  Chauncey: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
Specter, trying to impress Luanne: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.  T-bone: They turned it off and back on again.
Goopy: Don't go to the kitchen.  Val: Why?  Goopy: I saw a spider.  Val: Well, did you kill it?  Goopy: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...
Isla: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.  Dice: Nat 20 Charisma.  Isla: That is NOT how that works-
Beppi: honk.  Sal: WHAT.  Beppi: HONK.  Sal: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????
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asteroiideae · 2 years
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so I finally finished watching Jujutsu Kaisen, and I really wanted to sit down and write out my thoughts about it? because I have quite a few and I just need to purge them before I switch gears to go finish another series lmao two quick things: 1. thoughts are under the read more bc I’m a wordy bitch and you know this isn’t gonna be short. 2. I do not go here. I do not watch shonen anime, typically. I do not like shonen anime, typically. name a beloved big-name shonen series and I either hated it, gave up on it, or never could be bothered to watch it. I do not dislike JJK, but I feel this is an important perspective/bias to know before you read anything else lol
OKAY SO, I started JJK back in the winter, after having swerved it for ages. several of my good friends really liked it, and talked about it a lot, but I was skeptical. shout out to all the AMV makers who got on the Industry Baby hype, though, and made me take a second look at Gojo Satoru. this is not a Gojo thirst trap, sorry! but he did remind me of a beloved TTRPG character I had just said goodbye to, and so I decided to sit down and watch. it took me months. the gore hits several of my squicks and I had to take lots of breaks - but, finally, I have finished JJK!
tbh I’m not sure how I really want to format this, and I may delete or overhaul later, but for now I just want to put thoughts down while they’re fresh, so maybe I’ll just start with the things I liked?
1. The Adults so this is one of those things that just ~bothers me about shonen series. I think a lot of it is that I’ve aged out of the demographic, to be fair! but I just want an actual justifiable reason why these literal children are out here doing the most. JJK actually does that for me? because it gives me: Gojo Satoru and Nanami Kento. I could make a whole-ass post about just this bullet point, tbh. we have adults who want Itadori dead. we have adults who regret that Itadori has to die but who are tied to the system. we have adults who care but have no power. we have adults who do care and try to protect Itadori (Nanami), and we have adults who care but understand that the system itself is fundamentally flawed and needs changing (Gojo). you could make an argument that the adults are more interesting than the kids (more on that later,) but regardless the way the adults are presented to us is just really good, and as an adult myself, feels really realistic.
2. The Trio listen I am old and tired and the whole trio schtick has been over-done imo for awhile. still, I find myself enjoying Megumi, Yuji, and Nobara. I enjoy seeing their friendship as a group develop; and I also enjoy their moments one-on-one. I understand why these three are friends as a collective, but even when just paired off. I think the way their backstories and powers are crafted and presented is really smart. I think the fact that they each have their own clear views and opinions on morality and what it means to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer is really fantastic. if I have to sit through a trio story, JJK knows how to do it.
3. The Characters (collectively) another thing I tend to dislike about shonen series, are the characters themselves. they feel flat, and boring, and under-developed to me. I don’t find myself understanding or caring about their goals and motivations - especially, usually, the protagonists. JJK does a great job of making me like Yuji, and of unfolding his motivations and growth in such a way that (to me) he doesn’t feel overshadowed by his companions - who all, also, have their own motivations and growth. the mangaka and anime adapters really thought about what story they wanted to tell, and which characters could move that story - but also about how that movement would impact each of them, and what would bring them to this place.
4. The Soundtrack idk who was in charge of that shit, but give them a raise. the openings and endings slapped. the quiet songs slapped. the hyped battle and conflict songs slapped. they felt young and fresh and good, though we’ll see how they age. for now, 10/10 on that and seriously give the sound director a raise.
5. The Animation look it’s MAPPA. we all knew it was gonna be pretty as hell and (gasp!) it was pretty as hell. idk what else to say on this point. I’ve got some thoughts on the visuals themselves (more on that later), but I have no complaints about the animation. except maybe that MAPPA sure can make this but I’m still waiting on Ice Adolescence.
okay okay so here’s the part I’m gonna get roasted for, because there are things I dislike about JJK. some of them are not JJK’s fault, it’s just a genre thing, but I felt like they were worth noting regardless.
1. Character Designs I have basically no problems with the sorcerers’ designs (other than a couple of them have the same thick-ass facial scarring,) quite a few are really cool; Gojo is one of the prettiest-eyed anime men out there etc. etc. but listen we need to talk about some of these curses? cursed spirits? curse users? (don’t @ me I’m still working out the distinctions there.) why is there a whole-ass pimple-headed volcano? why does this man have some kind of nipple-covering fetish gear corset? it verges a little One Piece for me at times, and that is very much not a compliment. it was occasionally very difficult for me to take emotional beats seriously. I’m sorry your blobby brother died, fetish harness corset man but I’m distracted by the specific way your pecs are pushed up what am I supposed to take away from this???? and look I get it, I know what a grindhouse the industry is, and I know shonen expects a certain amount of that shit, but it just didn’t fit well with the writing or with the emotions those scenes were trying to convey. it took me right out of it.
2. The Body Horror/The Gore once again, I know. this is a genre thing. I did warn you I don’t like shonen series lmao I knew going in that this was going to be a problem for me. there’s definitely things that made my stomach turn that are well-used (everything about Sukuna’s design is cool as hell) but I need this artist to stop watching pimple popping youtube videos. I also feel like the blood is just....so gratuitous. it’s just everywhere all the time. it made me queasy at first and by the end I was just yawning in boredom. while I don’t enjoy gore or body horror very much, they are good effective tools, but I feel like they became a bit of a crutch in this series.
3. The Pacing listen I know, I know. this is me nit-picking about this genre. the thing is, if you slowed JJK waaaaay down, you have like 8-10 really good character pieces in here. I would watch an entire 13-episode series about Maki and Mai Zenin. I would watch a 3-5 episode arc about Kamo (I think that was his name?) If I could stomach Mahito’s body horror (I cannot) I would have loved to spend more time with the poor bullied kid whose name currently escapes me. JJK’s mangaka is a good writer, and it shows in that I want more. but it’s not that I want more big grand cool disgusting fight scenes? I want more of the emotional meat the mangaka’s hiding behind shitty curse designs and overly-gory fight scenes. basically. I wish this wasn’t a shonen series and that this author could really take their time with the world-building, the magic (more on that later), and the fascinating backstories and politics that shape this story. maybe that happens in the manga, but knowing shonen I doubt it lol
4. The Magic okay, I’m kiiiind-of cheating with this one? I actually really like the magic system in the series, and about 50% of the time it’s very clear and well explained. the other 50% of the time it feels like some kind of word soup and I have no idea what the fuck is going on. this could be a translation issue? it could be an adaptation issue? it could go back to the pacing? in any case, I do wish things were addressed a little more clearly at times like - bro I still don’t know tf was going in in the conversation with Gojo and Megumi in the last episode, or what Megumi’s domain is supposed to be.
ALL OF THAT SAID: I rate JJK a solid (and subjective) 7/10. It’s a fantastic shonen series, but the things that make me dislike shonen crop up underneath the good writing and interesting characters, so it was difficult going at times. I really did waver on bumping it up to an 8 after the last arc of the anime, but I decided I really couldn’t.
I do intend to read the manga, and watch the movie, so it’s possible some of these things will be made more clear or just be better handled once I know more? lol I’m also willing to talk about my points, so long as you don’t start with BRO THAT’S JUST SHONEN, because I know. I do. lmao
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peachy55 · 1 year
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rotting
2023 intro. 
things are moving all toooooo fast, i hate saying this i wish i still was in high school figuring things out when in high school i hated it? (and in another three years or so i’ll be saying i wish i was a freshman in college once again, it’s a perpetual state of not loving where you’re at, something i should fix right?) 
hello. the worst feeling is life is the feeling of rotting and being entrapped in folds of yourself like you can’t mentally handle your mind spiraling. i overthink too much i hate my head space, when you have many moments to yourself you often are entrapped in that oh so overwhelming gut wrenching feeling. then moments later i recover. anyways a lot happened in the those 2 1/2 year time span! I FEEL FUCKING CRAZYYYY! anyways you had your first romantic experience ensue when in reality it was just a figment of your imagination or an idea of a person that is. i think i reached the checkpoint as to where i wanted my relationship would realistically play out, need to end that but then when i finally end things i will feel terribly distraught about it (attachment issues). in my design class i had designed and photographed a cover but then someone who had vaguely similar concept deleted my slide so the professor wouldn’t review it, just for five seconds of fame. can’t believe that person did that, as if i couldn’t figure out two and two together that she deleted it, very upset, but oh well, a lot of things are left unjust and that was one of my first surreal moments of someone just being that shitty. i want to pursue design in college but its competitive, and im one to be disheartened easily but i can’t give up this easily, i need more photography ideas, gonna reach out for help but i overthink and start with the narrative people think i’m weird, or uninteresting i need to get over that hurdle, i hate people yet wanna find people. ugh its all too much. i’ll update and post on this later once ive figured things out, or havent. 
on other things that have made me happy: 
Bee and Puppycat very cute show 10/10 recommend very weird actually but i like it 
kafe neo gyro and greek fries shit SLAAAAAPS
oddly enough white rice, tamale, and srracha, that shit i used to make after school in like sophomore year of high school all so nostalgic
my old small room where i began all my relationships with the folks online
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keefwho · 1 year
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November 05 - 2022
8:17 AM
I keep forgetting to go over the day’s events every night. Yesterday was okay. I got everything done even if it was a little later than I’d like. My tummy wasn’t too happy in the morning or the evening but I got over it both times. I had a nice night drinking with friends.
This morning some GIGA wind gusts woke me up at about 6am. Apparently there’s gonna be really strong wind until this afternoon/evening. I’m not too scared of the power going out but it would be very annoying. Just let me enjoy my Saturday. It would also be very cold and I don’t want to go over to my parent’s because my sister has been sick with something although I haven’t been able to get any details about it for some reason. My dad says she was only nauseas and had a headache but I’d want to confirm that before I go over there. 
I hope to find things to do to distract me from the weather. I want to act like nothing is wrong today since I may not lose power at all, but it seems probably I will. 
9:39 AM
I’m still trying to figure out a way to organize personal projects that works well. It all comes down to making the decision of what to work on as opposed to putting the time in. I have the time and I’m willing to dedicate at least a little bit to something almost every day but I always get stunlocked because I can’t decide what to actually do next. Right now I’m sticking to 1 art idea and 1 3d modelling thing at a time. I can alternate between them until one gets done, then replace it with something new. But on weekends I want to try to free myself of all limitations. Its a hard mindset to adopt but everyone deserves/needs a day or two to relax from everything. 
Maybe it all comes down to thinking less about what might be most important and just picking something instead. Anything. Ideally it’ll all get done eventually so I can’t really pick wrong with that perspective. However, I know that realistically I still can’t get EVERYTHING done eventually. A lot of ideas are on a sort of time limit with how relevant they are. There have been plenty of “good” ideas that I ended up deleting because everything and everyone else moved on from the context it needed. 
11:25 AM
All I want to draw in my free time is either my own OC or my bestie’s. I feel like I’ve always hyperfixated on certain drawing topics but I worry about how that comes off. Is it weird to the other person when I draw for them on a weekly basis? I don’t want to have to worry about that. The plain and simple is that this is how I feel. I don’t want anything to get in the way of my desire to make art of anything. I wanna do what I wanna do. 
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faustocosgrove · 2 years
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a wind named something i forget
oh experimental japanesse anime films, how i do love thee. i love your humans with somewhat realistic body proportions, your detailed mecha and other high tech drawn on 2d animation cells, and i love your philosophical conundrums. this film also comes with the whipped cream and a cherry on top of being 80 minutes of anprim hate. it also features some of the the most highly detailed and least sexy nipples i’ve ever seen in anime.
it’s almost as if someone read my mind to know exactly what kind of movie was gonna tickle my fancy this evening, made it, went back in time 32 years to publish it …then pulled the rug out from under my feet with a sex scene between a 15 year old and an alien. i skipped that scene, so apologies if my review is missing some extra important thing Sophia said while fucking.
to breeze (ba dun tss) through a summary you can also find on wikipedia or IMBD, A Wind Named Amnesia is about a post apocalyptic world where a strange wind blew over the entire planet and gave everybody amnesia. our main character is Wataru, a kid who’s re educated from the ground up by another kid whose memory was intact from a secret government memory experiment that gave him a computer for a brain. fortunately, the film chooses to have Wataru as the MC and not the implant kid because that proves for the rest of film that any other amnesiac can be reeducated. on his way Wataru meet Sophia, the barefoot babe who drops more hints at having magic powers that are not commented on than i’m used to seeing. i mean come on Wataru’s whole schtick is that he likes to learn, at least have him ask why she can fly and have her blow him off.
the duo go on to fight religion, the police state, and the concept of safety when achieved through submission of self. the arc where they fight the concept of safety was giving me huge Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind vibes. which if you haven’t read the manga you SHOULD it’s such a great manga.
we then learn that Sophia is an alien, and her people created the amnesia wind. she has become convinced through her experiences with Wataru that humanity deserves to have their memory back, then they fuck, then she goes off to try to convince the aliens to restore human memory and Wataru goes off to try to educate more people. it’s kind of a fart of an ending, but no matter what happens next it’s looking up from where things are now. again the ambiguous ending is giving me Nausicaa vibes. plus it has a wind wiping everyones memory and wind like nausicaa of the valley of the wind.
y’know the last movie i watched that referenced nausicaa was that piss poor official star wars fanfiction that spawned the infamous reylo fandom. star wars rouge one wasn’t it? that movie was like getting slapped in the face. this one… it’s fine. i’m not pissed off by the nausicaa references. it’s kind of refreshing that it’s nausicaa flavored without being a carbon copy or fucking it up. i feel like an actual brain virus or like, infecting the technology with a program that would delete the memories of people who get near technology would have been a better way to go. would make it less silly than the wind removed memories. honestly without wind in the title and as the magical reason people lost their memories i would probably be gushing about the similarities and differences between the nausicaa scene and this scene. oddly enough there’s another movie called “Memories” that has this as one of it’s storylines, is this just some reflection of what was going on in Japan in the 80s? yeesh, well add Japan in the 1980s to my list of spots to never time travel to. …y’know it’s also the final arc in Naruto too. scratch that, let’s just make that Japan at any time, i’ll just enjoy the anime from afar.
also have i mentioned the anprim hate? well, if you’re blessed to not know anything about anprims, i apologize for the cursed knowledge i’m about to bestow upon you. an anprim (which is short for anarcho primitivist) is someone who believes that everything humanity has done since the discovery of fire is sinful and a mistake and that climate change is going to kill billions of people and those of us left alive after the collapse had better not use any technology at all because that’s what got the human race into this mess. and once billions of people die and the randomly selected chosen ones are living in a way prescribed by them as pure and correct the earth shall be cleansed. and don’t tell any of them that they sound like fascists or catholics, they’ll just feign ignorance at you in an attempt to make you loose hope in humanity’s ability to learn and grow, thus making you one step closer to becoming one of them.
anyway this movie argues that if humanity is reverted to its primitive state tomorrow like the anprims want that you’ll get death and misery and the two MCs spend the entire film wading through the hell that such a prescribed future would bring.
in spite of my humorous review it should be noted that the film doesn’t have a lick of comic relief in it. it’s a good damn movie anyway, so long as you ignore the teenager in a sex scene and the alien’s stupid reason for removing humanity’s memories. but hey, if it had been flawless I would have heard of it before now.
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Hub lives au: I'm just imagining Hub being fasinated by Dark Chips, if only to reverse engineer the programming to power a navi up without the drawbacks of corruption & deletion
Hmmmmm
I’m gonna derail this ask a bit, bear with me
I think the Dark Chip situation in BN4 would be an interesting way to explore Lan and Hub’s personalities
When they first find the chip and learn of its demonic properties, of course they’re both gonna be against it because they’re good bois and they both don’t want anything to happen to their Navis
But then the fight with Shademan happens in the vampire robot…
In the game we aren’t privileged to see both Lan and Mega’s thoughts on seeing the Dark Chip appear in the folder despite just destroying it. We see the aftermath and their thoughts, but not during the battle
As a player you think, “Oh it’s there and nothing else has worked so…”
But in this AU, what if we see Hub and Lan actually discuss it in real time as it happens?
Lan is confused why the Chip is there and is having doubts about it because he’s afraid of how it’ll affect Megaman
Hub on the other hand, sees the Chip and immediately starts thinking realistically. Nothing else has worked, their Navis are at a huge disadvantage, and any more hesitation will end horribly
It’s a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation
But the Dark Chip is powerful…powerful enough to delete Shademan
He convinces Lan that they should use it
Because the benefits outweigh the risks
And Lan agrees because Hub hasn’t steered him wrong before
In the aftermath, I think the continued use of Dark Chips would cause some friction between them
Lan hates them and doesn’t want to continue using them
Hub thinks they can be beneficial if used appropriately
This worries Lan and eventually after some arguments, he finally convinces Hub that they aren’t worth it if Rockman’s soul is destroyed in the process so Hub backs off and stops using them
But he still thinks there could be use to them, if only they could take away the negative affects…
And this conflict could bleed into BN5’s plot if I think about it thoroughly enough
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