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sarcasrnspasrn · 5 years

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the homestuck epilogues are a big mess: a masterpost of what the fuckery

I read the epilogues all in one day and here I am three days later someone who is two seconds away from becoming an ex-homestuck fan because.... yikes. I recently reblogged two other posts calling out most other homestuck things. Some I agree with, some I think are more “sometimes characters are problematic” but you can’t really ignore how fucked up everything is a whole. And nobody seems to want to unpack the epilogue which i understand because guess what every single tag listed in the prologue happens which is pretty sucky.

Anyways I’m gonna go tag-by-tag to talk about the things and then talk about other general shitty stuff about the epilogue. Here we go lads.

Oh boy here come some disclaimers - I’m white and I’m cis and also I was an active editor at the MSPA wiki! I’m going to retire soonish, probably. If I can. I don’t know if you can self-retire from a leadership role on a wiki. Which means I might have missed some things that weren’t obvious to the me who is white and cist.

The Tags

Graphic Depictions of Violence – The Meat route features the fight with Lord English and definitely has a lot of beatups. We then see John slowly succumb to his injuries over time and eventually die. The descriptions are definitely very very graphic.

Major Character Death – As mentioned above, John in the Meat route. Some characters get sucked into a black hole in the Meat route, though in Candy route it’s revealed they just ended up in Candy’s timeline. John meets up with younger versions of the Beta kids, and they all die by Lord English’s hands. Davepetasprite^2 sacrifices themselves to drag Lord English into the black hole, and Meat Rose’s body ends up in a sorta-dead state where her soul is now in a robot forever as her physical body sleeps. In Candy, Dirk graphically hangs himself, and Vriska chokes Gamzee to death.

Rape – In the Candy route Jane gets drunk and has intercourse with an equally if not more drunk Jake, resulting in her pregnancy.

The Economy – Throughout the Meat route, Dave works to try and get Karkat to be president specifically due to the other candidate’s (Jane) questionable economic opinions. Neither run in Candy route, but Jane ends up influencing the presidency behind the scenes and Dave discusses similar themes, often through Obama.

Xenophobia – The main conflict in Jane’s candidacy is her xenophobia, as she wishes to restrict troll reproduction, eventually leading to complete oppression of the troll race by the end of the Candy route.

Pregnancy – Jane and Roxy get pregnant with Jake and John’s kids, respectively, in the Candy route.

Alternate Universe – The whole fic seems to be vaguely non-canon, particularly the Candy route.

Mind Control – Dirk takes over the narrative in Meat route and uses it to influence the other characters’ motives and thoughts.

Non-Con – See Rape.

Breastfeeding – Roxy is shown breastfeeding her and John’s son (Harry Anderson Egbert. I’m not joking.)

Misogyny – Gamzee is basically awful.

Sexism – See Misogyny

Transphobia – Roxy and Calliope begin transitioning (but only in the Meat route), where they both start using they/them and Roxy eventually begins using he/him at the end. As the narrator, Dirk frequently refers to transitioned Roxy with she/her pronouns.

Misgendering – See Transphobia.

Canon Compliant – The meat timeline, arguably.

Canon Divergent – The candy timeline, arguably.

Redemption – The candy timeline starts of with Calliope insisting it’s time for “Gamzee’s redemption arc”, so John pulls him out of the fridge and he becomes this weird messiah. It’s not really much redemption though and he’s still a creepy fucking clown.

Dubious Consent – See Rape.

Mind Break – Meat Rose slowly becomes overwhelmed by all of her alternate timeline selves and suffers from headaches. She eventually becomes persuaded by Dirk to completely let go, and she gets her consciousness transferred into a robot body.

World War – Jane’s xenophobic actions against trolls eventually lead to a world war between her faction and Karkat’s faction.

Political Intrigue – Meat route focuses a lot on Jane and Karkat’s political campaigns for president, and Candy route features Jane’s meddling in government affairs that eventually leads to Karkat and others to lead a rebellion.

Robots – Dirk and Jake fight robots on reality TV in Meat, and Dirk later transfers Rose’s consciousness into a robotic body in Meat’s postscript. Dave similarly gets transferred into a robot body in Candy by Obama. (I’m still not joking.)

Child Abuse – Jane and Jake’s son, Tavros Crocker (I’m not joking) is implied to be heavily mistreated and neglected by Jane, as well as their third partner, Gamzee, who is also somehow in the mix.

Rough Sex –

Child Neglect – Tavros is seemingly largely ignored by his parents, and John leaves Roxy and Harry Anderson for most of his adolescence.

Alcohol Use – Jane and Jake get heavily inebriated in the candy route, resulting in pregnancy and marriage.

Breastmilk – Gamzee utilizes breastmilk throughout the Candy route as some way of baptizing people and completing their redemption arcs.

Death – Other than those mentioned in Major Character Death, many other side characters are also mentioned to die during the Candy route’s oppressive regime.

Incestuous Undertones – Briefly discussed by a group during the Meat route while considering the implications of Dirk and Rose flying off from Earth C.

Mental Illness – Rose struggles with visions during Meat, and John questions if he has depression in both routes.

Suicide – Dirk hangs himself in Candy.

Polyamory – Gamzee somehow joins the relationship between Jane and Jake in Candy, eventually resulting in Gamzee auspisticing the two.

Clown Dynamics – Gamzee fucking Makara.

Meta – I think it happens a lot in general.

Abuse – Jane’s relationships with Jake, baby Tavros, and Gamzee are not anywhere near healthy.

Fridging – Dirk’s death sort of helps kick off the plot in Candy.

Genocide – Discussed as a possible outcome of Jane’s presidency, specifically to the trolls.

Diapers – For some reason on Jake’s reality TV show, it’s a thing to throw diapers on the stage.

Murder – Vriska kills Gamzee in Candy.

Honk – Gamzee.

Children – Jane and Jake have Tavros Crocker, John and Roxy have Harry Anderson Egbert, and Kanaya and Rose adopt a Vriska descendant.

Gender Transition – Roxy and Calliope question their gender identities in Meat, leading to Roxy using he/him and changing his hairstyle, and Calliope using they/them. This does not happen in the Candy route.

Depression – John questions if he suffers from this throughout Candy as he continues to feel estranged from his friends.

Toxic Masculinity – I guess Dirk in general?

Sexual Abuse – Whatever was going on in Jake Jane and Gamzee’s relationship in Candy isn’t healthy.

Friends to Lovers – Roxy and John as well as Jane and Jake.

Speciesism – See Xenophobia.

Babies – See Children.

Manipulation – See Dirk.

Gore – See Graphic Depictions of Violence.

Infidelity – Jane starts a relationship with Gamzee while married to Jake.

Marriage – Jane and Jake marry, as well as John and Roxy.

Nonbinary Character(s) – See Gender Transition.

Milking – See uh, Breast Milk and Breastfeeding?

Identity Questioning – See Gender Transition.

Feet – After arriving in Candy route, Vriska finds Gamzee and in her rage, kicks him to the ground. Gamzee starts licking Vriska’s foot. This eventually leads to some sort of weird hate makeout/sex.

Political Rebellion – See Political Intrigue.

Fascism – See Political Intrigue.

Rapping – Dirk and Jake’s TV show in Meat features the two performing rap battles at each other, among other things.

Drug Use – Jane and Jake get drunk in Candy, and Jane starts utilizing the Trickster Lollipop in Meat.

Funerals – In Candy, funerals are held both for Dirk and for a dead Jade from Meat that falls out of the sky.

Religion – Gamzee’s weird cult to help give dead trolls redemption arcs.

Eating – I don’t know why this is on the list.

Food – This is just a thing.

Aliens – Sure are trolls and cherubs here.

Possession – Alternate Calliope uses Jade’s alive body in Meat and an alternate Jade’s dead body in Candy to control the narrative.

Light BDSM – I guess this is whatever is going on in Candy Jake, Jane, and Gamzee’s relationship. As well as the apparently rough sex Terezi and John had in Meat.

Theft – Meenah steals an extra Ring of Life John pilfered in Meat.

Furry – Jade, who is heavily implied to have gained some of Bec’s, um, biology after the sprite merge, which was. Information nobody needed to know.

Anthropomorphic Characters – Jade and Davepetasprite^2.

Power Imbalances – Candy Jane/Jake/Gamzee’s relationship.

Blood – Extreme violence tends to result in this.

Trickster Mode – Jane starts utilizing it in Meat in an attempt to help her campaign.

Body Horror – See Graphic Depictions of Violence.

Gerrymandering – Mentioned by Dave as a tactic utilized by previous presidents in regards to the consorts voting power.

Starvation – Meat John finds Terezi by the black hole, slowly starving to death.

Cuckolding – Candy Gamzee basically cuckolds Jane and Jake.

Interspecies Relationships – Kanaya and Rose, as well as Meat Gamzee/Jane/Jake.

Guns – Jake sure has that.

Vore – I think this is mentioned as a joke somewhere.

Assassination – Dirk pretends to attempt to assassinate Jake in Meat timeline, only to tranquilize the Alternate Calliope-possessed Jade.

Alien Biology – A joke is made about how trolls apparently do not have two dicks.

Detransitioning – Roxy and Calliope are implied to have begun their gender exploration in Candy route, similarly to Meat, but stick to using she/hers throughout the route.

Chronic Illness – Rose is suffering from mental illness that is giving her headaches.

Vomit – After the battle with Lord English in Meat, John barfs all over himself. It’s gross.

Drugging – In Meat, Dirk slips Rose drugs in a drink to induce her into a sleep. He uses a similar drug on the Alternate Calliope-possesed Jade.

Cannibalism – During Candy’s postscript, The Alternate Calliope-possessed Jade devours Lord English’s body.

Unhealthy Relationships – John and Roxy have tensions in their relationship during Candy, as well as the weird cuckolding situation with Candy Jane/Jake/Gamzee.

Capitalism – See Economy.

Eggs – In Candy we see the Mother Grub release eggs that later give birth to baby trolls.

Slut Shaming – In both timelines, Dave and Karkat do not approve of Jade’s apparent promiscuity.

Black Romance – Candy Jane and Jake seem to settle into a kismessitude auspisticed by Gamzee, and Vriska also has a hatemakeout with Gamzee in the same timeline. It’s not clear where Terezi and John’s relationship in Meat laid.

Kidnapping – John attempts to kidnap Tavros Crocker from his abusive parents, eventually leading to a broken relationship with his wife and friends.

Faygo – Gamzee continues to drink the soda and seems to also give some to baby Tavros.

Bimboification – Throughout the Candy arc, everyone seems to slowly lose their character development.

Poisoning – See Drugging.

Teenagers – See Children.

Domestic Abuse – Candy Jane/Jake/Gamzee.

Reality Television – Jake continuously stars in ridiculous reality TV programs in both timelines.

Ovipositioning – See Eggs. I promise it’s not sexual.

Ghosts – The ghost army is seen fighting Lord English in Meat only to be sucked into the black hole, and these ghosts later start dropping out of the sky in the Candy timeline.

Revolutionary Rhetoric – See Political Intrigue.

Self-Sacrifice – Davepetasprite^2 sacrifices themselves to trap Lord English inside the black hole.

Propaganda – Candy Jane pushes propaganda material through the government.

Super PACs – Candy Jane is mentioned to utilize these to influence the government.

Pica – Meat Terezi in her starvation begins eating tobacco and shaving cream.

Early 20th Century Dance Movements – Jake does some of these for some reason.

Prison Camps – In Candy, captured members of the rebellion are mentioned to be sent there.

Existential Crisis – Candy John has one throughout the story, thinking that his reality seems fake.

Xenophilia – See Interspecies Relationships.

Daddy Issues – Tavros Crocker, presumably, and Candy Dave talks about his adoptive dad/bro at Dirk’s funeral.

Bad Parenting – See Child Abuse.

Addiction – Meat Jane appears to develop one to the Trickster Lollipop.

Clown – Gamzee.

I might have missed some on this list because my brain is fuzzy but that’s the general gist.

The Other Things Not Mentioned In The Tags That Are Also Bad

Remember how I mentioned how Gamzee’s back in Candy? While he’s apparently “not sixteen” when he shows up to meet the rest of the gang who is 23, it’s still iffy on what’s going on. And sixteen years later, when he is definitely an adult, he meets up with the definitely 16 year old Vriska, where the two begin some weird blackrom courtship, before she murders the clown. Any way you look at it, Gamzee’s at least twice Vriska’s age. Yuck. Similarly, the dying 23 year old John meets Terezi in the Furthest Ring, where she is apparently also “not 16″ but it’s not really specified how long it’s been from her perspective. And then the two end up having sex. Another notable mention to Candy Karkat and Meenah, who end up in a relationship when Karkat is into his late 20s and Meenah is only 19.

Speaking of sex, in general there’s just a lot of smutty things described in the epilogue. And while all of the characters sans the exceptions mentioned above are 23 or older, it’s still vastly uncomfortable to see characters getting their sex on when we first met them at thirteen.

There’s also all the transitioning tags up there because Roxy and Calliope transition - but only in the Meat timeline. While we only see like one year of Meat, we see sixteen of Candy. I’m not really qualified to comment more about the awkward implications of all this as a cis girl, so I’ll end this segment here.

The thing I think I am qualified to talk about was the furry tag up there. There’s a conversation where Candy Jade is talking to Karkat and Dave (the three vaguely have some sort of polyamory going on, maybe) and talks about having a baby. Jade reveals that she can’t get pregnant due to “biological reasons” and that the possible father of their surrogate baby won’t be Dave, so uh. It’s pretty easy to connect the awful dots. Which is just. What the fuck.

And here’s a whollop. In the characters, Barack Obama was tagged. At first I thought it was because of all of Dave’s references to him, but nope it turns out Dave actually has a conversation with Barack Obama. Basically Dave goes into what was once the white house and finds his way to some sort of weird bunker where he meets Magic Ghost Obama who tells Dave about various things. The worst part is definitely where Obama says he seemed to end up in some sort of relationship with Dirk Strider at one point. He also references things that were first mentioned in the Skaianet Systems Incorporated leaks, you know the ones where Hussie made it Einstein’s fault the holocaust happened? So like, oof. And I’m not sure I can construct a logical timeline in my head based on the information said in the Epilogues and in the leaks to when Obama and Dirk could have met at an equivalent age rather than Obama being an adult and Dirk... not being one. So uh. Yay.

I can’t think of anything else, but I almost definitely missed some stuff since it’s been days since I read those cursed epilogues and I might not pick up on more nuanced things. Basically the epilogues are bad!! And that’s why I’m probably gonna bow out of the Homestuck fandom soon. The comic has not aged well and this was just the icing on the shitty cake.

And if you’re still a Homestuck may I recommend not doing that. Find something else to invest your time into. Please. I know it might have been a big part of your childhood (it was a big part of mine), but it’s time to realize that maybe we’ve been looking through rose-tinted shades for longer than we should have and it’s time to put shitty things in the crapper.

#txt #ylimespam #homestuck #homestuck epilogues #andrew hussie #im not good at tagging things #im looking forward to angry homestucks entering my askbox

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nacsygen · 5 years

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i mean, if there's anywhere to suffer about gender, why not tumblr, amirite?

i've known for like at least five years now i'm...not cis. i've never been able to properly explain it, to myself or to others, but the fact that it sticks around so long tells me that, like and as unlike as my brain has tried to tell me many times before about being bi ("not gay enough") and mentally ill ("not mentally ill enough") like yeah, this is clearly a part of my identity, not just a phase or me, idk, trying to be cool or fit in among all the cool non-cis people i know, i guess???

i think what confuses me is that i don't really have much dysphoria about my physical form, really. not in my own sense of it. not without the input of other people. i'm a very small person and this has informed a lot of my life, yes. i am well below average height and have never been possessed of strength or grip to speak of (i'm the sheepish one who has to ask the girl working at the pizza place, after five minutes of trying at a booth, to open my bottle of water because my hands are just too small to have a proper adult grip). but my body is my own, and i've long since learned to live with it, and be comfortable in it. i got no complaints.

but then, people comment without any sort of prompting on aspects of my physicality, strangers, in public, all the time - whether it's the older lady at the bus stop asking how old i am and what i do to diet because i'm Just So Small! (ma'am, this is just how i am - no, i don't diet - if i stood up you could see my gut - being southern and polite is alas also a large part of my identity -), or the threateningly verbally abusive loud misogynist at the bus stop yelling at my turned back about my "skinny ass white girl legs! get some sun, bitch!", or just today, an older cracker (here in florida that is a descriptor of a culture, not a "slur") who i've ridden the same bus with many times with he and his lady friend, coming up to me while i'm standing waiting (again) for the bus and said "hello ma'am, i was just wondering, are you from The North? where are you from?" and i looked up from my book, bc again southern politeness, and said "nah, i'm from here" and pointed at the ground. "you're really not From The North? i'm sorry, i don't mean to be impolite, it's just because of your legs. they're so skinny and pale, we thought you was From The North." "No sir, I'm from right here in Florida. I just don't tan easy." "well, that was a bet I had going with that girl over there that I just lost." "yeah, sorry, sir, I'm southern born and raised." we ended up on the same bus when it got there, and as i was getting ready to disembark he said "you have a good night there, sweetie! enjoy your book!" "oh, i will." realizing the awkwardness as the bus slowly got to a stop, "sorry, i'm nice, it's all i know how to be." "alright, well, you have a good one!" (i'm pretty sure that last that i didn't even think about said more about how Southern i am than anything else i could have said.)

i know that last was a tangent, but that's the thing - i don't even think about my body as Representing Femininity until other people treat me in a different way because of it. it happens over and over, all the time, and it's the primary cause of what i've come to recognize as dysphoria. if i was a boy, if my hair was tucked up in my hat and my chest flattened, would these and many others over the years feel free to comment so freely about my body to me? i really don't think so. and that shit sucks.

to me, my body is not a Female Body, despite its resemblance to the Traditional Female Body in its curves and shapes - it is not a Female Body, it is My Body. my breasts are not female breasts, they are my thiddies and i'm really fond of how they look and like to show them off. like, artistically, they are a gift to the world. my long wavy curls are not Female Hair, they're Rockstar Hair, Fuck You, like i grew up with the old-school and grunge male rockstars i always saw as style icons (and the female rock stars too - huge long hair is a great look for everyone!). idk if it's because i'm really Just That Pansexual that i can look at my societally-hyper-feminized form - extremely petit, pale, significant boobs but no ass, skinny arms and legs - and say, you know, that could be a cute guy, right there.

i've more recently in the past few years experimented now and then more towards as gender-neutral a presentation as i can, even though that just means people see me at a distance and think i'm a pre-teen boy. and yet, people treat pre-teen boys much better than they do almost-30 petit women, is the depressing lesson i've learned from that.

I hate how much of my questioning of my gender identity is tied into negative experiences with other people and their relationships as strangers to my perceived femaleness. like, i live in a pretty nice neighborhood now, but i hate going to the local gas station bc the block around it is just...holla bingo time. last time i walked there by myself i wore knee-length loose shorts and an oversized men's plain t-shirt to go with my walking nikes and baseball cap, and i STILL got hollered at. "hey, sweetheart! you need help carrying that? hey! hey, young lady!" i did not turn - i hate acknowledging men who holler. "hey, baby, let me give you a ride to wherever you're goin! no one's gonna bother you!" i wanted to yell back "YOU. YOU'RE BOTHERING ME." but then, he was being significantly more polite than many of the people who've hollered at me over the years, so no point in engaging and hurting anybody's feelings or enduring the "i was just trying to be nice" conversation.

and that's the thing, like. i never feel bad about being percieved as female unless people are doing it in a hurtful way. matter of fact, i have no particular relationship to being female except in hurtful ways from other peoples' perceptions. my body is genderless, as i am genderless, and it is my body. it does what it's supposed to do and has treated me well for how i've treated it over the years. i'm not mad at my body about it. i'm mad at the people who think my form gives them a right to treat me in unacceptable ways for what should be a polite society. i get dysphoria from the man yelling from a work truck passing by when i'm just trying to get home from my work, "HEEEEY, LIL MAMA~!" I get dysphoria from being wished "happy mother's day!", or did back in 2014, when on break at work, and a significantly older lesbian gestured at me and said to the man in question, " does she LOOK like a mother to you??"

like listen, i like wearing cute little sundresses, or skin-tight tank tops and short-shorts. you know why? because i live in florida and it's FUCKING HOT. they are comfortable. they are easy. they are simple choices, that i am allowed to make because i am afab and present femme, and i like the way they look on me and like that i'm allowed this comfort in the heat.

i hate that wearing that for my own comfort gives people a seeming license to comment freely on my body. i hate that presenting as a woman, a "woman", means people treat me this way. i hate the bus driver that always says "hello there, little lady" when i board his bus, and i hate that he means well by it. i hate that even when i dress in my loose, masculine, don't-get-hollered-at clothes, i still get hollered at. and i find myself wondering, if i had short hair and no boobs, if i was just a 4'11" young teenage boy, would i get hollered at like this? and no. of course not.

but i don't want my gender identity to be the opposition of a negative in favor of a positive. this has gone into a series about street harrassment when in reality there are many reasons i identify more as male or non-female than because of this. i really don't feel much reason to identify as female other than solidarity with female victims of gendered and sexualized violence. which, alright, that's probably not the most positive way to feel. or reproductive health stuff. alright, that's just the body i was born with, and i don't feel much connection to it otherwise. i don't want to medically transition, i don't want to change my body, but like...

i don't really know what dysphoria actually is. is it the feeling of displacement in one's own home of self? is it feeling like everything about how everyone else views you is somehow shifted two wrong lenses over at the optometrist's office? is it just feeling like something...something's really wrong here? if so, i think i’m definitely experiencing dysphoria,.

hey, i'm maria/aril, and i'm trans. i don't know how, exactly, but i am. and here we are.

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thestuckylibrary · 7 years

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The straight writers + mlm fic thing. I'm totally bummed that sounded like a dig at cis straight fans for being into + supportng m/m ships. Why s it bad for us to support slash ships just cause we're straight? LGBTQ writers matter + we need more of them, y'all! just why does our work mean less when we're here for and supprt those LGBTQ people and writiers? an I'm writing for everyone y'all, not just straight gals. We should support each other equally + not put others down dude

No one is putting you down, or saying you shouldn’t support or create content for slash ships. We’re just saying as fans writing about queer people, specifically mlm, we shouldn’t treat straightness and cisness as neutral or the simple fact that we are writing slash as allyship. We’re talking about queer issues, specifically mlm issues in fandom, and by sending an ask like this you are placing yourself in the role of a victim, which you are not. While I’m not mlm, I am queer. disclaimer that I’m not mlm I’m just a queer woman whos trying to show some solidarity. I’m not an authority by any means, I’m just riled and trying to put forth opinions Ive seen mlm give and you know, not hide from the fact that fandom isn’t perfect. but do note that I’m a cis, albeit queer, woman writing this, not mlm.

We’re not saying your work is less or that you shouldn’t be here, we’re just saying, hey maybe engage with what you’re writing a little more critically and don’t act as though your writing is for everyone unless you are actively listening to mlm about problems that show up when women, particularly straight cis women, write about mlm.

As usual I could not keep it brief for the life of me so I put most of my queer rage under the cut

Ok so first off you have the whole side of fandom (once again, not mlm, but women, in my experience mostly cis straight women) that like calls bucky their “sad gay baby” or “smol sad gay” and calls m/m erotic fic things along the lines of “filthy sinful gay smut”. I can totally understand why this makes mlm uncomfortable, I mean like who wants their non heterosexuality to be the defining trait that makes them appealing to straight people, who would want their love to be routinely called sinful and filthy by a community that claims to love them? Seriously guys take a step back and think about how it would feel to have someone talk about you like that.

I read a huge wonderful post by a bunch of mlm in fandom a while ago and I’ll sum up a little of it here. Basically it’s absolutely wonderful to have a huge community devoted to create content about lgbt+ characters. It’s amazing to have a space where people can come together and create content where queer people get happy endings and we can explore all sorts of themes all with lgbt characters. But since slash has a huge number of women, cishet or lgbt+, writing about lgbt+ men, stuff can get a not great.

For example, its really, really common to see top/bottom debates among fans. It’s one thing for mlm to identify as a top or bottom, it’s a whole other for women to sit there and debate which character fits in which static role. The whole thing reeks of deciding whos the “man” and whos the “woman” all to appease (usually and I am speaking from experience, not statistics or anything) straight cis women. We used to have a mod here who was a sex therapist and she talked a lot about how top/bottom debates are a really stereotypical way to look at queer mens relationships and as they are now its basically all about perceived gender roles and fetishization which like, is one of those things that should be putting up a red flag. She also talked a bit about how statistically it’s pretty likely that most gay couples don’t even really have penetrative sex and stick to mostly oral, intercural and hand stuff. And I’ve seen like so many mlm say that the whole top/bottom debate in fandom is homophobic as fuck time and time again and people just keep on going. Randos (especailly straight people) debating whos penetrating and whos being penetrated in a gay relationship as static roles is really. hoo. yikes. You also see things like only trans writers writing trans men who top, which speaks volumes. While what you read and write is up to you, it’s a good idea to look at why these trends happen and how they happen and what they do.

You also see a lot, like A LOT of unsafe sex practices because they’re “not hot otherwise” Just to start, me, a bi ace woman, cringes when I’m reading a fic and someone just shoves their dick into an asshole with like only some kissing as warm up. No. If you did that in real life, it would straight up just be painful and cause anal tearing. Also: rimming with no cleaning first? Like ok if you really think its hot to plunge a tongue into a dirty asshole, go for it but like, really? It takes literally one sentences to add in like “oh hey I did an enema and cleaned up before you got here” before delving into sex. It takes one sentence to do the same for lube oh my god seriously unlubed anal sex no matter the gender is just gonna lead to either 1. dick or toy stuck in asshole, 2. severe anal tearing, 3. both and even more delicate skin and tissue related injuries. While I’m on it if you are a vagina owner, or a penis owner or somewhere in between and are interested in playing with genitals, you should be using lube if you aren’t already. lube is your friend.

While it’s not content creators duty to make sure people know how to have safe sex, it’s pretty troubling that unsafe m/m sex is looked at as being “hot” in a very particular way. From what I understand, proper prep is a vital, vital part of gay sex and woman saying fics that show proper prep aren’t “”hot”” and fics that don’t show it are, that speaks to a broader problem.

Anyways this is me, a womans thoughts on the matter synthesized from reading a bunch of posts by mlm discussing the way them and stories about them are treated in fandom and it’s honestly better to just like, read their opinions. I tried my best here but I am still a woman and therefore don’t fully understand mlm experience (not that there is a single mlm experience)

Please do continue writing and creating and reading and making headcannons! No one is saying you shouldn’t be here or you shouldn’t wrote m/m! All that’s being asked is for women, especially straight women who read and write and create m/m fanworks, to engage with it mindfully and like, at least make your best effort to not to fetishize mlm, to treat them as people rather than objects, which I really don’t think is asking too much.