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#I’m learning what I even want to do with my life and time and when I figure that out
scientia-rex · 3 days
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One of my patients used to be a Big Deal Specialist in the city and you can just TELL he’s SEETHING that no one out here is even qualified to understand what he did, much less how important he was. He’s also terrified of death. It’s both annoying and really sad. Like, sir, I hate to break it to you, but no amount of knowledge will protect you from the ravages of time. It’s a special kind of hell to know the stages of various fatal diseases intimately. What is it going to feel like when it’s my turn? How do doctors want to die? Suddenly, quietly. Slip away painlessly in my sleep. But how likely is that? Not very. More likely I’ll get cardiovascular disease or cancer, the greatest killers of our time.
He was so afraid of cancer he had an organ that wasn’t cancerous removed just in case. He talks down to me as if I’m his student, and who knows? Maybe I was. He was in the same city as me, and they were forever dragging Big Name Doctors in to teach us things. Maybe I learned how to elicit Achilles tendon reflexes from him.
But mostly I find myself a little scornful. Who lives without the shadow of death? Who doesn’t think about death all the time? When you die, life is a round thing, finished and whole. What will your life look like when God holds it in the palm of his hand?
Also don’t fucking call me by my first name unless I’ve specifically said you can. I don’t GIVE that permission to patients, except for my mentally ill trans and queer patients. If I wanted to be disrespected by an older man I would have married young.
You do not have time. This important doctor who based his whole life around his importance lived as rich and full a life as anyone. And now he’s clinging to it, leaving fingernail marks on the walls on his way out. No one has time. There will be a moment when you’re dying when you think, I would give anything I have to be back in that moment. Any ordinary moment. Taking the dogs out to go potty. Browsing at the grocery store. When you’re being crucified on a hospital bed, dying and aware of it through the morphine, you would give anything you ever possessed to go back and have one more agony-free afternoon. Sit on a curb or a stoop. Walk through a park. Hug your spouse. These tiny fragmentary moments that we are constantly sliding through, tobogganing past at high speeds, these are what will be our life when our life is over.
I am accountable to that self. To the dying me. What did I do with this gift and curse? I don’t believe in God, but I know that I will die, and I have watched enough dying people by now to know the kinds of things I’ll think about. I want to make that me proud of what I’ve done and how I’ve spent my life. She will be a harder judge than God, and I want her to look at this one little life and think, yes. I did what I meant to.
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dearreader · 19 hours
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k so i made this poll awhile ago to answer my question on if people would rather spend a date with a swiftie or an anti-swiftie (someone who hates her and devotes their life to hating on her). i mentioned i didn’t have the spoons to handle it being longer than a day and know it was going to be biased as it would start in my circle and would work it’s way out, so i wanted to do a longer poll when i had the energy to handle a week long poll like that. (i’m assuming when i post this, as i’m pre making it, i’ll be in recovery from my nose surgery since i’ll be stuck at home a week so i’ll have more time to monitor and look at the tags)
so nows the time, but i’m going to addendum the question a bit:
*some extra things that came up on the original poll i didn’t elaborate on fully that i want to make clear:
- you don’t get a say in what type of swiftie you get. assume that you’re going to be spending the evening with someone who massively loves her and her music and wants to discuss it. they’ll talk about songs, their favorite lines and meanings, symbolism behind the reputation album, etc.
- YOU MUST TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT. even if it’s the anti-swiftie you must talk about her. i understand the sentiment people made on her not coming up, and that’s valid, but that’s not the question i’m asking. YOU HAVE TO SPEND THE EVENING WITH SOMEONE WHOS GOING TO TALK ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT NONSTOP, WILL IT BE THE LOVER OR HATER?
- im just trying to gather a general consensus on this and want to get data from a lot of people which means this is going to end up on people’s blogs who probably hate swifties and are annoyed by them. that’s okay as that’s the point of my question. but if you’re going to go off in the tags about how much you hate her or hate swifties and be an asshole about it im blocking you. you can just simple say “i hate her/i hate swifties” and don’t need to elaborate. you don’t need to sit in the tags going off on how much you hate her and trying to “defend” yourself from swifties. i just want an answer to the question.
- ALSO, this is not an open poll to go harass anyone in general. if you are a swiftie and see an hater in the tags and wanna fight DON’T FUCKING DO IT. just block and go read/watch your favorite media and think of blorbos kissing or whatever, but DO NOT SEND HATE OR HARASS ANYONE.
the hypothesis im trying to prove is that people in general would much rather spend an evening with someone that is going to talk about something they love all night vs someone who will spend the evening talking about something they hate. i want to gather as much data as possible to get a good consensus and if you go and be an asshole to someone because of their tags on this poll, either side of the swiftie to anti-swiftie spectrum, your disproving the point. if you see tags you don’t like just simply block and carry on. understand? k good.
- in general this is not meant to be a very serious or heavy question. it’s meant to just let me pick people’s brains and see what they’d want to do. i just want to get my results and go. just vote, drop your opinion in the tags, and go.
- also, this last part is silly and not at all related to my data, but since i’m forcing you on a dinner date i’ll at least let you pick the restaurant and food you have. so if you could also say what restaurant/food choice you’d want and what you’d want to order i’d love to hear it. sky’s the limit here. go nutz or even very specific on what you’d want to eat. i am trying to learn to cook and don’t know a lot of recipes or different food types, so i’m hoping this will give me a bigger idea of what food is out there to make. (this question is not meant to be a way to stick it to anyone or for you to go “i’ll go to a shitty ass restaurant and take a swiftie/anti-swiftie and make them eat garbage 🤪”, it’s just a fun question to give people something positive to add to the poll if they want. AGAIN IF YOUR GOING TO BE AN ASSHOLE ILL BLOCK YOU.)
- i’m going to be annoying and ask that you reblog for a wider sample size and such, if you don’t want to that’s fine, but i’m going to be polite and ask you nicely.
that should be everything, thank you for reading my long ass list and voting in this poll. i hope you have a good day and such.
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modawg · 2 days
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it’s so sad to me that nico like never learned how much percy tried to help him yk
like percy literally rounded up his closest friends after being the only one to find out nico was the son of hades and decided to at least try to give nico a chance to live his life when the kid literally just tried to kill him, his sister just died, and through everything percy knows hates his guts - like he took all that info and decided to make a suicide pack with his closest friends in order to protect nico when giving nico the prophecy would’ve been the most logical and honestly understandable thing to do
like genuinely do ppl realise how EASY it would’ve been to just give the prophecy to nico his ONLY living relative (other than hades) just DIED they could’ve been like “listen you take this prophecy give it 6 years you’ll be dead with your sister and literally everyone else you know and you’ll be a hero for it” instead even though percy has an entire life, people who love and care for him, and a future wife infront of him he takes it upon himself to DIE in 3-4 years how fucking BONKERS is that
he also almost abandons a WHOLE OTHER QUEST putting himself and annabeth in danger just bc dumbass nico is out doing god knows what in the labyrinth and ends up getting caught (he was doing smth i’m being dramatic but still)
could you imagine being percy your going to war (and from your perspective you’re going to die in the next week or so after methodically doing everything in your power to keep this other random kid who you think hates you from suffering that fate) that kid comes up to you with a plan so you trust him just do be stabbed in the back bc that kids father wants him to be the prophecy child even tho you’ve been mentally preparing yourself to die for the past like 3 years?? id jump that kid too if he randomly came into my deep dark prison cell trying to break me out and then shun him after all that
like i read the way nico talks abt percy and he just seems bitter all the time he’s like “psh percy and his fake friendship what a dweeb can’t believe i had a crush on THAT guy🙄” like you’d be dead if it wasn’t for his friendship gay boy
i want like 5 years into the future annabeth is sitting with nico one day and is like “lol yeah i remember that one time percy made us all pinky promise to keep you safe and we all thought he was dumb bc you hated him sm but he really just wanted you to have a good life and now look at you!! :)” and nico to slow turn to her “…what”
like to this day i get that nico was mad at percy for not protecting bianca and bc of his internalized homophobia or whatever but why not hate on the actual people who sent her on that quest rather than a random kid you just met who said he’d try WHICH HE ACTUALLY DID DO and not idk literally any adult figure who sent her into the fire to begin with
i just want nico to realise that percy is simply just a boy who literally wanted nothing to do with any of this and was trying his best to free nico of that same burden sigh (;_;)
like those two are the fattest example of a miscommunication held together by misunderstood betrayal
disclaimer this is obv dramatic and the prophecy definitely doesn’t work like that but like think abt it ok
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larkspurglove · 1 day
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OH MY GODDD THE NEW TRAILBLAZE MISSION IT’S SO GOOD BUT ALSO NONE OF MY THOUGHTS ARE COHERENT AAAAA
Major spoilers for 2.1 ahead!!!!
So first off to the people that voted for Aventurine and Sunday in this poll how does it feel to be right?
ANYWAY THAT WHOLE ENDING WAS FUCKING INSANEEEE, Aventurine walking INTO the Nihility????? And he might not ever come back???? Acheron showing off the true extent of her emanator powers?????? Gallagher being the twist villain and also somehow in control of Something Unto Death???? What the fuck?!
My brain is a mess right now I’m just rotating all of the story in my brain and a hundred miles a minute. The next stuff is just going to be me word vomiting my reaction to stuff in a vaguely chronological order.
First off I LOVEEE how Aventurine-focused the Trailblaze mission was. I was kind of assuming it would be a 50/50 split between focusing on Acheron and focusing on Aventurine but it seems like they’re saving Acheron’s backstory for 2.2 or 2.3.
The little appearance of Boothill??? And how he immediately threatens violence?????? Just a silly guy I can’t wait for him in 2.2 I wanna see them fight. Also I wonder if Constance is making empty promises because it’s possible.
Back to Aventurine, DAMNNN I knew his backstory would be tragic but it’s even more gut wrenching than I expected. The reference in his achievements too??? ‘What do you want Sibyl?’ ‘I want to die.’ THE PROGRESSION FROM AVENTURINE STICKING WITH THIS UNTIL THE END WHERE EVEN THOUGH HE COULD POSSIBLY DIE FOR REAL YET HE DECIDES FO CONTINUE FORWARD BECAUSE EVEN IF WE’RE BORN TO DIE THERE’S A POINT IN LIVING LIFE AND PREPARING FOR THAT INEVITABILITY???? OH MY GOD.
Sunday’s also a scary dude. Maybe being an emanator does that to people but when he did that Harmony mindfuckery on Aventurine I was almost certain that he was going to die because of that. I was also SO pissed at Ratio for selling Aventurine out only to learn they were actually double crossing SUNDAY was insane. I’m glad he finally got to be angry about Robin’s death towards the end though, most of the downtime between 2.0 and 2.1 has been me wondering ‘man his sister just died why doesn’t he feel more distressed.’
Ngl I’m probably gonna dedicate a whole post to Aventurine in this update because 90% of the time I was playing the quest I was either thirsting over him, internally sobbing for him, thinking he was gonna die, or waiting to get back to his POV.
Gallagher is one hell of an enigma because Sunday implies that he’s made up of different ‘aspects’ of each Family member who’s died over however long the dreamscape deaths have been happening, yet he has a past with Siobhan and apparently knew Mikhail??? Like what the fuck????? How long has this been going on????
I do wish it was foreshadowed slightly better though because the most we get is him being very vaguely sad about his past and also like two people going ‘who the hell is Gallagher.’
One thing I didn’t expect to happen was for a ‘Sam is Firefly’ reveal. Like I had seen the leaks before (not out of my own will sadly) and kind of expected for it to be a 2.2 reveal. Either way yayyyy Firefly is alive!!!
I’m sad that we didn’t really have an Acheron and Welt team up, or at least that we didn’t see more of it. It was kind of hyped up to be a whole B-plot but turned out to only be a few scenes. I’m not complaining because we get a little teeny bit of Welt characterisation but I’m still sad.
I like how Sparkle kind of just shows up to either be a nuisance or a conveniently timed piece to move the plot forward. It’s very fitting with being a Masked Fool.
There’s a lot more I want to scream about but it’s all Aventurine related and I’m gonna save it for its own dedicated post.
2.1 is so fucking good 2.2 and 2.3 better stick the landing.
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xanthippe-writes · 2 days
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Hi hello I know we’re all losing our collective fandom mind over those absolutely precious, heartwarming, world-righting inukagmor panels, but I must also draw your attention to these panels from Chapter 31 because the tears won’t stop flowing.
*I’ve tagged this post as hanyo no yashahime spoilers but still placing the panels under a cut*
Kagome learns through videos saved to Towa’s cellphone that her family celebrates her birthday every year. It’s so incredibly sweet! She sees grown!sota for the first time as well as his wife, Moe, and child, Mei. She seems particularly struck by seeing her grandpa and mom.
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And Mama Higurashi has a special message to share with her time-traveling daughter:
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After this, Towa prattles on about modern supplies she brought back, but Kagome (and me!!) is overcome with emotion and profusely thanks her for this gift. Kagome embraces Towa and I think even bows to her niece, clutching at her while perhaps trembling, to convey her deep and sincere gratitude.
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If I could only use one word to describe kagome here, I’d say “relieved.”
Kagome chose to jump down the bone eaters well that final time - unsure if it would ever reopen, unsure if she’d ever see her family again - in order to spend her life by Inuyasha’s side. I don’t think she has any regrets about that decision; on the contrary, he’s the other half of her soul. Plus, their reunion led to Moroha’s birth, and she is their beautiful gremlin baby angel.
But, I think Kagome still misses her family; it’s natural for her to do so. I think the free-flowing tears are proof enough she worries about them: about their health, their happiness, and how they’re faring day-to-day in her absence.
Such thoughts must cross her mind, maybe as quiet whispers in the night during moments of stillness or when something special happens and she wants to share it with them (Moroha’s birth, as an example). She wonders: are they okay? Do they need help at the shrine? Do they miss her? Do they resent her? Do they know she loves them and misses them? Did they forget her? Perhaps the worst one of all: are they still alive in their time?
In a way only a mother can, Mama Higurashi’s comforting words soothe her daughter’s pent-up anxieties - remember this is a voice she hasn’t heard in idk 10-15 years? I don’t know hny so apologies- and like a dam overcome by torrential waters, she burst. Mama Higurashi liberates Kagome from any burden of guilt and anxiety that she carried by telling her not to worry; rather, be happy, and be happy with Inuyasha.
Mama Higurashi didn’t stop Kagome from making that jump. I’m sure she encouraged Kagome to follow her heart, wherever that led her. And then she let Kagome go. Because that’s what any good mother should want for their child: to give them roots and give them wings, even if one day they fly away with those wings; so they can be happy. *is now ugly crying*
But wait! Back to THAT CARD! I MIGHT BE A GHOST TYPING THIS BC MY HEART STOPPED:
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The cuteness! They’re holding hands! They look so happy! I can’t, I’ve got to go wail and thrash.
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aikastales · 9 hours
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price of freedom (jk)
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↳ synopsis: upon learning that your father had arranged for you to marry kim taehyung, heir to the biggest corporation in asia, to secure his win in the presidential election, you sought the help of det. jeon jungkook of the intelligence unit to take him down and attain your freedom. however, you soon realized that freedom had a price and det. jeon’s was the most expensive and dangerous of it all. 
↳ pairing: detective!jungkook x professor!fem!reader
↳ genres: yandere, heavy angst, dark romance, slow burn, political
↳ warnings: this story is fiction. the characters of the tannies here do not represent who they are in real life. please learn how to discern fiction from reality. as this is a yan-centered au, mature themes are to be expected. hence, readers below 19 are prohibited from reading and/or interacting with this story. please police yourself in consuming fanfics that are not suitable for your age. please expect strong language, corruption, manipulation, gaslighting, graphic depiction of violence, use of cigarette and consumption of alcohol, mentions of s3xual assault, and murder.
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You were on your way out of the classroom when the familiar voice of your father’s right-hand man, Kim Namjoon, stopped you from your tracks. He was standing in the doorway, hands buried deep into the pockets of his black coat. Namjoon sent you a polite smile, but you kept your lips pressed into a thin line, adjusting the strap of your black leather bag which had fallen off your shoulder. You didn’t know what he was doing at your workplace, and frankly, you didn’t really care. Whenever Kim Namjoon showed up unannounced, it was never good news. 
Sensing your displeased aura, Namjoon walked towards you while saying, “It’s no wonder your class is always filled, Y/N. You’re a great teacher.” 
There was, once upon a time, that a compliment from Kim Namjoon would have made you grin widely. He was the person that you looked up to the most while you were growing up because he was incredibly smart and the only person who, despite being young, took your insights with great importance, not dismissing it. But you grew up and developed a mind of your own. Suddenly, Kim Namjoon wasn’t the great adult you looked up to anymore. 
“Does my father want anything, Namjoon? Because you can tell him the same thing I’ve been telling him for years now: no,” you replied with a sigh. “I’m not going to campaign for him or do anything that makes it seem like I’m campaigning for him.”
“I came here without the knowledge of your father, Y/N. I came here to give you a heads up for what he’s about to do that concerns you,” he took another step towards you. Namjoon didn’t seem to age, you pondered. He looked like he was permanently stuck at 25 his whole life. 
You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and perhaps, concern. When it came to your father, everything was unpredictable. “What?” 
Your mind immediately came to the conclusion that your father was going to disown you, publicly, which you really didn’t mind. After the death of your mother, you had been estranged. You couldn’t remember the last time you spoke or even saw each other, in the flesh, at least. Senator Jung Hoseok was always on a television somewhere, for better or for worse.
“He’s arranging your marriage with Kim Taehyung, the heir of V Corporation.” 
It was like your entire body had been washed over by ice-cold water. You felt it freeze and then shake. You knew you and your father didn’t see eye-to-eye in many things but you never expected him to meddle with your life in this way. You didn’t have a reason to expect it because he had been pretty good in letting you do whatever you wanted the past few years. 
“Why the hell would he do that, Namjoon?” you asked, clenching your fists and feeling your entire body getting hot due to the anger that was quickly forming within you. 
“To add machinery in his campaign, to ensure he wins the election. V Corporation is the biggest stockholder in Han Systems, the voting machine that will be used in the election,” Namjoon inhaled deeply then exhaled. “Kim Taehyung marries you and he wins, to put it simply.” 
“What the fuck?” 
You couldn’t believe the words that came out his mouth. Just how deranged your father had become over the past years that he was willing to have some guy marry his only daughter so that he’d win the election? A guy who was a notorious and infamous womanizer and you deeply hated. 
“The marriage is a month away, Y/N. Expect that he’ll have his men take you to the press release of the announcement of your engagement to Kim Taehyung anytime now,” Namjoon said. You glared at him, his gaze softened. “I am sorry, Y/N. Truly. I tried talking him out of it but he was adamant. Kim Taehyung already accepted the proposal.”
You felt your knees getting weak. “This is insane, Namjoon. I’m not going to marry Taehyung or anyone. I won’t marry Taehyung or anyone. There has to be something you can do. Anything.” 
He shook his head. “It’s already sealed, Y/N. It’s out of my hands now. I only came as a courtesy because I care about you. I always did and always will. You are like my daughter too.” 
You felt like you were back to being a helpless teenager once again. Biting your lower lip, you tilted your head to the side as you shook your head. Placing a hand on your waist, you faced Namjoon once again. “Why does he think he can force me to do this? We haven’t talked for years but I’m sure my father still knows me. I’m not someone he can boss around.” 
“Y/N, the freedom he’s given you to do whatever you wanted over the years is not free. He kept his distance from you because he knows, one day, he’ll use it against you. That day has come. You are going to marry Kim Taehyung, one way or another, because if you don’t—he’ll make sure to make your life and those you love suffer,” Namjoon licked his lower lip as he continued. “He knows everything that you’ve been doing. The people you’ve been seeing. The causes you’ve been donating and dedicated to. Everything. What do you think he’s capable of now more than ever? Nothing’s more dangerous than a desperate man.” 
A shiver went down your spine. He knew everything. If Namjoon was telling the truth and he knew everything, you had no choice. Your father was a powerful man, an influential man. Whatever he wanted, he would stop at nothing to have it. You thought of Seokjin and the Moon Orphanage and you thought of Christian Yu, your on-again, off-again boyfriend turned closest friend. They became your family throughout the years. You didn’t even want to imagine what your father would do to them if you refused to marry Kim Taehyung. 
“I don’t have a choice,” you stated, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I never did, didn’t I?” 
Namjoon shook his head solemnly. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” 
And just like that, the illusion was broken. 
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Maybe drinking the pain away was a temporary solution to the aching hole in your chest but right now, you honestly didn’t care. Temporary fixes were sometimes the best fixes. You finished your fifth shot in just half an hour and when you were about to call the bartender to ask for another, a figure sat down on the stool beside you. When you took a glance at them, you couldn’t help but let out a humorless laugh. 
“Hey, just a beer,” he said to the bartender before turning to you. “Evening, Professor Jung,” His voice was enough to annoy the living shit out of you. Or maybe, your day was just spoiled and everything annoyed you. “No ‘evening Detective’? I thought we were finally getting along.” 
You inhaled sharply. “I’m not in the mood, Jeon. So shut up and leave me alone.” 
Jeon Jungkook chuckled. “What got your panties in a twist?” 
“It doesn’t concern you,” you snapped, finally facing him. There was an amused smile plastered on his annoyingly handsome face. “I’m serious, Jungkook. Leave me alone.” 
Upon sensing your disposition, he asked, without a hint of mischief or teasing, “Do you wanna talk about it? We’re not friends but that should make it easier, right?” 
He had a point. Sometimes, it was easier to tell everything to someone that wasn’t your friend. A stranger. But Jeon Jungkook wasn’t exactly a stranger. Not by definition, anyway. He wasn’t an acquaintance either. 
Ever since you moved to Seoul to start your professorship at SNU, Jungkook had been there. He was one of the first people you met because of the bar you two were currently at, The Basement. Your co-faculty brought you along after work one night and he and his co-workers were also there. He tried flirting with you but you were with Christian at that time. Still, even if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have flirted back. Jungkook was handsome, yes, but you disliked cops and he was a proud one. 
Whenever the two of you would be at The Basement at the same time, Jungkook would playfully flirt with you or just make it a point to annoy you at least once the entire night. 
So yes, Jeon Jungkook was not a stranger. He was not a friend. He wasn’t an acquaintance. He was just there. 
“Hey, saw your bust on the evening news. Good job, JK, and to the rest of the Intelligence,” the bartender, Hoshi, said as he brought Jungkook’s beer. “This one’s on the house.” 
“Thanks Hoshi,” Jungkook said. From what you knew from secondary sources, Jeon Jungkook was a detective in Seoul Police Department’s elite team known as Intelligence Unit. He was the youngest in their team of six. 
An idea suddenly popped in your mind. You turned to him. “You work in the Intelligence Unit, correct?” 
Jungkook seemed surprised by your inquiry but nodded, nevertheless. “Yeah. I do. Why?” 
“What type of cases do you work on? Is it always drug cases?” you asked. 
“No. Mostly are drug cases, yes, but it’s usually up to our Sergeant what our next case would be or if we happen to come across one that he approves to take on,” he explained and you nodded slowly. “Why are you suddenly curious about my job, Professor? Don’t you hate what I do?” 
You thought hard about your next choice of words. “What if someone goes to you to look into something illegal? Criminal?” 
He shifted on his seat to face you, tattooed arm resting on the counter beside him. “If the information is credible and actionable then we look into it. They become CIs—confidential informants.” 
“What does that entail? Being a CI?” 
Jungkook raised his eyebrow slightly. “What’s with the questions? Do you have something you wanna tell me, Y/N?” 
It was this or nothing. It was a risk you were willing to take. 
“I have information on the illegal acts of a certain presidential candidate. Can your unit investigate that?” 
You assumed Jungkook wasn’t dumb and he could’ve already guessed who the candidate was but he didn’t show it. His expression remained passive. “What information?” 
You licked your lower lips. “Vote-buying, fraud, intimidation, and so much more.” 
“I’m not sure if my sergeant will take the case, Y/N. The Commission on Elections exists for that purpose. They have jurisdiction.” 
“Then, what about murder?” 
Jungkook pressed his lips tightly. “Not here, Y/N.” 
“I can’t go anywhere with you. I’m being watched,” you told him. “At least that’s what I’ve been told.” 
He nodded. “Okay. Then just act natural, like we’re friends talking.” 
You did your best to do so. “I don’t know the specifics. It was never even confirmed. But there was only one person who could kill Congressman Park Jimin—my father, Senator Jung Hoseok.” 
“We can’t look into it based on a hunch, Y/N. There has to be something actionable like a message ordering the hit.” 
“I can find it,” you told him. “I can find proof that he ordered the murder of Park Jimin.” 
“You wanna wear a wire?” he asked incredulously. “Y/N, I am telling you right now: that’s dangerous.” 
“I don’t care, Jungkook. It’s either I do this or—,” you shut your eyes tightly. 
“Or what?” he asked. 
“Or he wins the election. By then, it’ll be impossible for him to be arrested for any of his crimes.” 
Jungkook sighed. “Why now? You had plenty of chances to do this but you didn’t. Why now?” 
It was the question, wasn’t it? He wasn’t wrong. You had plenty of chances to report your father to the authorities but you didn’t. There was really no other reason why. 
“Because I wasn’t strong back then. I was scared of him,” you scoffed, lowering your gaze. “Maybe I also needed him. He provided me with everything. I was scared that if he went to jail, I’d lose all those luxuries.” 
“And now you’re ready to lose everything?” 
“I already did,” you told him. “Right now, I have nothing else to lose. I also can’t let him do anything he wants so he can get everything that he wants and more. I’m done being his pawn.” 
Jungkook was silent for a while. You didn’t say anything more. When he finished his beer, he stood, and as he slipped on his jacket, he told you, “I’ll see what I can do, Y/N. Good night and take care of yourself.” 
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It was a miracle that you managed to go home despite being hammered. Perhaps, over the years, your alcohol tolerance increased. 
You took off your heels, coat, and bag, discarding them on the floor as you proceeded into your apartment. Throwing yourself on the sofa, you sighed deeply. As you stared at your swirling ceiling, you wondered if Jungkook would actually help you. All the cops that you knew were corrupted. You wondered if he was one of them. 
But you had to try. He was your only option. You had to gamble on the fact that Detective Jeon Jungkook was one of the good ones. 
Then, your mind went to his question: why now? And suddenly, you felt disgusted with yourself. All those years you could’ve spent ensuring your father paid for his crimes but you didn’t. You ignored him. 
Yes, you defied him. But if you were being completely honest with yourself, you only did so because you hated him. It wasn’t because of a moral, virtuous reason. It was self-serving. And now that he had taken your freedom, regardless if it was an illusion, you were defying him again for all the same reasons. 
Did that make you a bad person? You had no idea. Maybe there were who would think so. 
Another sigh escaped your lips and as you closed your eyes, you immediately fell into a deep and troubled slumber. 
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A week had passed since you learned from Namjoon that your father had essentially sold you out to win the upcoming presidential election. Suffice it to say, you were on the edge the entire time. When you were not conducting your lectures at SNU, you were internally dying as you waited for Namjoon or any of your father’s men to pick you up for the press conference. You were also waiting for Kim Taehyung to reach out. But none of them did. 
Instead, it was Jeon Jungkook. 
You were unlocking your car when he appeared seemingly out of nowhere, scaring the living daylights out of you. 
“What the fuck is the matter with you?” you hissed at him as you picked up your key. 
“You said you were being followed? Well, you were right. I found this under your car,” he showed you a small black box. “It’s a tracker. But I already disabled it. I also scouted the university for any undercovers your father might have sent with a couple of my men and we found none. He probably just said that to get into your head.” 
“Wait,” you told him. “What are you saying, Jungkook? Are you going to help me?” 
He nodded. “I already got the greenlight from my Sergeant. He wants to meet with us now.”
For the first time in a week, you felt hope. A sliver of hope. 
“Yeah? Okay. Okay, where do we go?” 
“I’ll take us there,” Jungkook said. “Keys.” 
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Why can’t I drive?” 
“Y/N, if we’re going to do this, you’re gonna need to trust me,” the detective said. He seemed different from the guy who would playfully flirt with you at the bar. Perhaps, this was the Detective persona he had. 
With your lips pressed tightly, you gave him your keys and went around to the passenger seat. Simultaneously, the both of you stepped into your vehicle and once the engine started, Jungkook began to drive. 
You were pretty familiar with the roads within Seoul. One of the hobbies you picked up when you moved to the city was driving aimlessly whenever you couldn’t sleep. You enjoyed the peace and the excitement that came with not knowing where you’d end up. 
“Were you watching me the entire week?” you asked Jungkook after a while. 
“It’s standard procedure, whether you believe it or not. I had to make sure you were being truthful,” he explained. “But I mostly did background check. I didn’t watch you the entire week. My men did.” 
Fair enough, you thought. “How’s your sergeant like?” 
“Hyung is a good cop if that’s what you’re asking,” Jungkook replied, glancing briefly at me. “He taught me how to be one.” 
“That’s not—,” you exhaled deeply. “I meant—is he standoffish? You know… How do I present myself to him?” 
“Just be yourself, Y/N. Just explain everything to him truthfully.” 
“You keep bringing that up—truth,” you said. “You also need to trust me if we’re going to do this, Jungkook.” 
“I know and I do,” he answered. “Because if you don’t, if you cross me and my unit, there will be consequences.” 
About ten more minutes later, they arrived at an abandoned warehouse in the outskirts of the city. Admittedly, you felt nervous but you stepped out of your car and followed Jungkook inside. 
Once inside, he immediately stood out. He wore a black suit, his long jet black hair was gelled away from his face. A cigarette was hanging from his lips but what stood out the most about him was the scar on his left eye. 
“Sarge, this is Jung Y/N. She’s the daughter of presidential candidate, Jung Hoseok. Y/N, this is Sergeant Min Yoongi—he’s the head of the Intelligence Unit.” 
The sergeant blew smoke from his mouth. You extended your hand and he shook it. “Good to meet you, Ms. Jung.” 
“Please, just call me Y/N.” 
He nodded. “So, let’s cut to the chase. You said your father murdered Park Jimin but you have no proof.” 
“I told Jung—detective Jeon that I am willing to be a CI and go undercover to find proof that he did,” you said, licking your lower lip. “I know I can find it.” 
“It’s not going to be easy. I’m sure Det. Jeon made you aware of that,” Yoongi said, nodding at Jungkook’s direction. 
You nodded. “He did. But like I said, I am willing.” 
Yoongi and Jungkook looked at each other. You looked at both of them. Yoongi nodded as he smoked once again. 
“From the background check I conducted on you, you’re pretty much estranged from your father, Y/N. If you suddenly come back into your old life and integrate yourself in it to find proof that your father killed or ordered the hit on Park Jimin, it’ll be suspicious,” Jungkook told you, slipping his hand into the pocket of his leather jacket. 
You took a deep breath. “It won’t be suspicious. Not when I’m going to marry Kim Taehyung. That’s my way in.” 
“Wait—you never said anything about marrying Kim Taehyung. Is he the same Kim Taehyung of the V Corp?” Jungkook asked, eyebrows furrowed deeply. 
“I didn’t think it mattered at the time. But I do now. The marriage is my way in,” you said to him. 
“Sarge?” Jungkook inquired. 
Yoongi blew another smoke from his mouth. “If Y/N’s willing to do it, I don’t see any reason not to do it. It’s the fastest way to infiltrate Jung Hoseok’s inner circle.” 
You nodded. “I am willing to do it, Sgt. Min.” 
“Do you know anything about this arranged marriage?” the sergeant asked. 
“Only that it’s in a month and there will be a press conference about it. Will that be enough time?” 
A lopsided smirk appeared on Min Yoongi’s face. “That depends on you, Y/N and how fast you can acquire evidence that your father is involved in the murder of Park Jimin.” 
What if I can never find proof? Does that mean I’m stuck in a marriage with Kim Taehyung forever? 
I felt a cold shiver down my spine. As if sensing it, Jungkook spoke up. “Look, Y/N, we’ll do everything we can to help you and not to brag, we’re pretty good at our job. That’s why we’re the Intelligence Unit. We make the cases that can’t be made. But if we’re going to take down a man as powerful as your father, whose eyes and ears are everywhere, you have to help us. You have to do everything to help us take him down. It all goes down to you.” 
You nodded. It all goes down to you. 
“We’ll contact you. You don’t contact us. For now, just sit tight and let the arrangement flow. Just act how you normally would. So, if you’re not in favor of this marriage, act like it. Don’t just suddenly act like you’re into it. This is going to be a long game, Y/N. So I ask you this one last time: are you willing to do this?” 
Min Yoongi’s gaze was as sharp as a predator hunting for its prey. It penetrated your soul. 
“I am.”
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↳ author’s note: and i am officially back. i deleted my post pertaining to this one just because lol it is not a big deal, really. i have no set chapters for this story. i just wanna write where it takes me. i am really excited for this one as i have always wanted to write something in a political setting. i hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! let me know what you think by commenting and sending me asks about price of freedom! 💌 ps let me know if you wanna be tagged to the future parts! also, i wanna try this advice a friend of mine told me when i told them i get so burned out quickly writing yan-centered aus. they told me to write something lighthearted every once in a while to get the heaviness of yan stories out of my system so i might take them up on that advice hahaha. expect random jk lighthearted stories!
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nagumoan · 3 days
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SYNOPSIS: How they would react upon learning they're the one that lead to their s/o being badly injured.
CONTENT: established relationships, injuries, hospitals, talks of accidents, food, different kinds of kisses, all of this is SFW!
FEATURED: Natsuki, Nagumo, Shishiba, Heisuke
NOTES: This was a short little thing for a request. I hope you enjoy it! 🖤
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The sounds of a knife cutting through fruit bounce between the white walls of the hospital room. The sweet, slightly sour scent chases away the sterile air that reeks of disinfectant and you're thankful for the little relief it brings.
Natsuki hasn’t said a single thing ever since the doctor has left.
Earlier, he had asked her plenty of questions. How long is the recovery going to take? Will you suffer any long-term repercussions? What should your diet look like? What can he do to help?
He has yet to address you.
Your gaze drifts from his face towards his hands, watching him cut up the apple. Those dexterous, quick hands look so clumsy all of a sudden. He’s shaking, ever so slightly.
“Don’t peel them,” comes your hushed rasp and that finally gets his attention. Dark eyes look up at you and you give him a small smile.
“You might choke on the peel,” your boyfriend mumbles dismissively, causing you to huff and shake your head.
“You’re going overboard. It’s uncomfortable,” you complain. It’s too much. It was an accident and this kind of thing came with the job. You got lucky so there shouldn’t be any reason for him to act so distant and off.
“You nearly died,” Natsuki states firmly, putting the knife down and putting the plate with fruit on the little table next to your bed. “Am I supposed to act like everything is alright when I know it’s my fault to begin with? The least I can do is make sure you’re at least recovering well.”
Reaching out to grab a hold of his sleeve, you hold onto it as you gaze up at him where he is standing next to your bed – avoiding your gaze again. “I’m alright.”
“You almost weren’t.”
His words come out way softer than you had anticipated, the tone of his voice almost sounding like he’s going to cry. “It was my fault.” Taking a deep breath, he tries to tug his sleeve away but he barely puts any strength into it.
“It could have happened the other way around as well,” you reason, your fingers traveling lower to hold his hand. Lacing your fingers between his, you murmur, “You were the one who saved me afterward, no? I owe you my life.”
Dark eyes meet yours through black strands of hair. The way he’s looking at you makes it obvious just how much he has been trying to hold it together, to balance the feelings of guilt with the desire to make sure you’re alright. You pull him a little closer, scrunching up your nose at the way it makes your shoulder hurt. Natsuki sits down on your bed, his hand gently squeezing yours.
“This won’t happen again,” he murmurs, leaning closer to press his lips against your shoulder through the fabric of your hospital gown. “I’ll make sure of it.”
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“Stop it. Hey! There’s not enough-”
“I can squeeze in just fine,” Nagumo mutters, a little too happily, as he forces his way underneath the blanket. A quiet hiss leaves you as you move to make room, your back still in pain. “Oh, sorry.”
His big hand reaches out to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing over the bruise there ever so slightly. The way he’s looking at you is a little odd and you are struggling to pinpoint what it is he is feeling. He doesn’t look sad, nor does he look guilty.
“I heard you,” you murmur softly, “when you talked to me while I was out of it. I don’t remember anything you said but I heard your voice.”
“It was a bit lonely without you answering,” Nagumo confesses. “Next time, push me into harm’s way and we will be even.” The smile on his face is unsettling and you feel your headache returning. This is annoying.
With a huff, you close your eyes, “I couldn’t do that, as much as I want to.”
“Why?”
“I love you too much,” is your simple reply. Nagumo’s thumb stops moving for a moment and his hand travels to your throat, his fingers gently trailing along your skin there. His eyes take in your state. You’ve spent the last few days in this hospital bed, your arm is broken, and your head was injured so badly that you were out of it for a couple of days.
Summarizing the past few days would be a feat he would not be able to achieve. Blurry. That’s how the days passed by since he saw your lifeless form on the ground that day. Whether the days passed quickly or way too slowly, he doesn’t know.
He feels like he’s the one who woke up from a coma.
“Why?”
Your eyes snap open as you look up at him and he’s sporting that smile that you hate to see. “Don’t ask me dumb questions,” you mutter, inching closer and burying your face against his chest. Your hand finds his, holding onto it tightly.
Long fingers rub over the skin on the back of your hand and his thumb settles on your wrist, right where he can feel your pulse – where you’re alive under his touch. “Who else would be able to tolerate your bad jokes?”
An amused chuckle leaves him as he carefully tugs you impossibly close. “That’s true. I wouldn’t have anyone to tease if you weren’t around,” he murmurs, trailing his hands over your spine carefully as if to assess the damage. “So make sure you stay, okay?”
“Of course. Someone’s got to keep you in check,” you reply and you feel him smile against your temple.
You would have to do some emotional labor for sure. Nagumo isn’t one to voice his anxieties openly but you have been together for long enough to at least gauge that he’s been struggling. The dark rings under his eyes tell the entire story by themselves.
“Let’s take a nap,” a soft yawn leaves you before you continue, “since you have already made yourself at home in my bed.”
“If a nurse comes in, I’ll allow you to explain this arrangement,” Nagumo chirps with a bit too much mirth lacing his voice, and the soft laugh that leaves him when you groan makes you believe that you’ll be alright.
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“Sit down,” Shishiba sighs and you follow suit. It’s a little frustrating just how well you listen to him sometimes but up until now, it has always proven to be a good way to walk through life.
Disregarding last week’s incident.
“I feel a lot better,” you argue. It’s weird to be stuck in bed for so long and slowly but surely, you feel like the smell of disinfectant is slowly melting away the mucous membrane of your nose. It’s unpleasant and while that is already a major annoyance, Shishiba waiting on your every step is even more taxing.
You are glad he has been taking it well. Or at least it had seemed that way but now, everything he does for you is clearly not only done out of love but out of guilt as well.
“I can do this myself,” you mumble, as he helps you change your shirt. It’s not as if you feel embarrassed – there’s no place for embarrassment within your relationship after all. The way he is treating you makes you feel useless – as if you’re unable to do the most simple things by yourself.
Shishiba is someone who likes to take things off your plate and usually, you are thankful for it.
But this is too much.
Carefully, he helps you slip on a new shirt. His fingers work to straighten it out and when he looks up, he’s met with your less than happy expression. “What?”
Plainly, you tell him, “I don’t need you to do this for me.”
Frowning, he straightens up and looks down at you. Lifting your chin with one of his fingers, so that you’re looking up at him, he retorts, “I am not doing this because you need me to but because I want to. While I know that things like these tend to happen in our field, that doesn’t make me feel any less bad about being the one at fault.”
He lets go of you. “If it weren’t for my mistake, this would not have happened.”
It doesn’t quell your frustration but you stay quiet when he kneels to tie your shoelaces. You’re finally allowed to leave today and you have been looking forward to it but like this, you still feel babied.
“Let me take care of you until you’re all good again,” Shishiba asks of you quietly, looking up at you as he continues, “If not for you then let me do it for myself. It would ease my anxieties.”
Amused, you reach out to push his hair behind his ear. “You feeling anxious seems impossible.”
With a sigh, he grabs your hand and tugs it to lay over his cheek. Pressing a kiss against your wrist, he replies, “You’d be surprised at all the exceptions I make for you.”
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“Heisuke, it’s over.”
With a relieved sigh, he finally opens his eyes. Pouting, he looks at your arm where you had just gotten a new cannula attached. Piisuke chirps sadly and Heisuke looks equally as crestfallen. Bowing down while the nurse leaves, he only lifts his head once she is gone. “I’m sorry…”
Piisuke begins to peck at his ear and Heisuke flinches, tilting his head to stop his friend from his shenanigans. “Look,” you tell him, “even Piisuke thinks it’s enough. No more apologies.”
When your gaze meets his, your expression softens a little. He is sulking. If you were able to give him a tight hug, you would but your injuries allow you to do one thing and only that – staying in this very position that you are in right now.
Back propped up ever so slightly against a barricade of pillows, your broken leg supported on pillows as well. You are sitting in a pile of pillows and you are sure you must look ridiculous. “I must look like the princess from The Princess and the Pea,” you joke and it works. Heisuke smiles ever so slightly.
“Are you as uncomfortable as she is?” he asks, walking over to you. His hands settle on the frame of the bed, anxiously fiddling with each other. The drastic change in demeanor between when he was on the job versus his behavior in situations like this one right now was still something you had to get used to. It’s a big part of why you love him as much as you do though.
“No way. Not with you here,” you reassure him, and the gentle smile that tugs on his lips causes your heart to feel like it’s going to burst.
“I’ll train even more so that something like that won’t happen,” Heisuke promises, and Piisuke chirps as if in agreement. Sheepishly, he rubs the back of his neck, “I thought you might want to break up, maybe even kill me. I would have let you.”
You look at him in surprise. Quickly, he adds, “Let you kill me. Breaking up just like that would hurt.” The laugh that leaves you is hearty and turns into a little coughing fit quickly. Tears collect at the corners of your eyes.
“Being killed might hurt more,” you tell him, grateful for the tissue he hands you. As you pat away the tears on your cheeks, your boyfriend looks at you stubbornly.
“No way. You’d kill me quickly. Breaking up is… I don’t want to think about it! Don’t break up with me,” he pleads, grabbing a hold of your hand.
This entire situation is ridiculous but it would be hard to get mad at him, no matter what he did. It was a mistake, nothing more. You’re sure he’d make up for it.
“How are you so sure I’d kill you quickly?”
“Eh?”
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floralcyanide · 21 hours
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ʜɪꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴘʀᴏꜰᴇꜱꜱᴏʀ!ᴊᴏʜɴ “ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ” ᴇɢᴀɴ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ
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Today is your first day pursuing your Master of Arts in History, and the first day you meet your advisor, Dr. Egan, Professor of History.
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pairing: professor!john "bucky" egan / fem!reader
warnings: none
author’s note: peep the somewhat grey hair edit of bucky I made lol, this is such s elf indulgent au because I am a history major looking to go into my master's and also I want to be a history professor so yeah ((: I will either write this as an actual fic but idk yet!! enjoy (:
masterlist | divider credit: @cafekitsune
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✦ It’s your first day on your path toward your Master of Arts in History. You’re meeting with your advisor today, who will help you on that very path and hopefully guide you to its end with success.
✦ Apparently, your advisor is prevalent around campus despite you never having a class of his. Your university is quite large, so even though your focus is American History, and so is his, it’s not unheard of to never have met him.
✦ He wasn’t too into social events held by the history department, which is understandable. You loved attending them in your later years of being an underclassmen. But they can be overwhelming at times. 
✦ You wrap your knuckles against the wooden door before you, and before you can finish knocking, a tall, salt-and-pepper man swings the door open with a dazzling smile.
✦ “Welcome, I’m Dr. Egan. I’ll be your advisor for the rest of your time here on campus.” He offers a hand for you to shake, which you happily take. His grip is firm, but so is yours. You were taught to look someone right in the eye while shaking their hand firmly- but not too firmly. Dr. Egan picks up on this.
✦ You’re one of three female history majors in the entire department going toward a Master’s and one of about twenty altogether in the major. So, of course, you’re going to need a firm handshake and steady eye contact to get ahead in your field.
✦ “Quite a handshake you have there,” Dr. Egan says, taking a seat behind his desk. He waves a hand for you to sit in one of the chairs in front of it. “Thank you,” you say, “My grandfather taught me always to have a perfect grip.” “Your grandfather was right,” Dr. Egan nods, “because in this major, being an equal with the males will take you far.”
✦ Your grandfather and father were history buffs and even lived through major historical moments, like the World Wars. So your goal in life is to teach others about what they loved so dearly and went through so harshly.
✦ Your mother had you just a few years before your father was shipped off to England, so you spent the beginning of your school years without him. Your grandfather filled in the gaps you missed from your father, thankfully. Sadly, your grandfather passed just last year, but you aim to carry his legacy and intelligence.
✦ “I’m aware, unfortunately,” you grimace at the thought of the male-dominating discipline, “But I’ve made it this far, and I’m not backing down.” “Great, I’m glad to hear that. Especially since you’re the first student I’ve ever advised for a Masters.” “Really?” you ask, a little surprised, “Then we’ll do this together.”
✦ Dr. Egan winks at that and dives into what research will be required for your first paper. The topic is based on the thesis statement of your final project, a little warm-up, as Dr. Egan called it- to the real deal at the end of your two years of studying. You go on to tell him that you want your thesis to be about the pilots of World War II, but you don’t elaborate on why. 
✦ Dr. Egan tilts his head at you when you don’t explain why you chose that exact topic but let it go. He’s had to learn that everyone has skeletons in their closet, as well as personal things, and not just him.
✦ You can’t help but take in his appearance. His outfit consists of a brown tweed blazer and a white button-up with black slacks. His hair is curly and graying on the sides, and he has a faint stubble with a notable mustache on his upper lip. Dr. Egan held himself carefully but confidently, like he’d been hurt by something but still had an ego of sorts. It reminds you of your father and grandfather. You weren’t sure why.  But you’re going to figure it out.
✦ Dr. Egan is in his 40s now and picked up college again after leaving the military due to PTSD. He eventually got his Ph.D. in History and is now a professor, and has been for a few years now. He enjoys his job. Dr. Egan (or Bucky, as we know him) loves that he can focus on American History without living through it, so he teaches it. Bucky tries to avoid WWII as a topic because he doesn’t want students and staff to know he served. He thinks it will hinder their outlook on him. 
✦ Bucky has only known you through letters and now an hour of talking, but he already expects a lot from you. He knows you are skilled and passionate about history. When you look at him, though, he feels you can see right through him. Bucky doesn’t know how to gauge that quite yet.
✦ You bid farewell to Dr. Egan after about two hours of getting to know each other's basic info as well as what’s expected of your MA in History. You leave, letting out a deep breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding as you walked out of the office. You’re still nervous, but not about your Master’s anymore- it’s about how you’re going to manage the next two years with a man like Dr. Egan.
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tacobellabean · 2 days
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hello this is Anon again. could you please direct me to your favorite Ace Attorney fics? I’ve read pretty much all the popular ones so I’m looking for some more niche ones :) thank you!!
Oh Anon… You sweet, sweet summer child. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.
I was already planning on doing an Ace Attorney fic rec list because I wanted to share some of my favorite ones (A lot of the ones I read aren’t on many of the regular fic rec lists, so I wanted to share some ones that I feel like are really good and maybe don’t get enough recognition) So I am very glad you asked Anon, gives me reason to actually continue on my fic rec list! I love sharing my favorite fics!
Most of them are Narumitsu, couple are Krisnix, and some are both. Also a couple stragglers out there without a ship as well. There will also be some smut ones (Don’t judge please lmao) (Also, just saying. There’s no good Krisnix in this fic list, all of it is seen as toxic, I ship them as Toxic Tragic Yuri and they’re not good as a real relationship. Just a disclaimer)
Some will have big blurbs about them from me explaining their plot a little and what I like about them. For others, I’ll just post them because I don’t really feel like talking about them in detail. But I promise they’re all good!
I’m not going to link them this time, cause I dunno how to do that without making a huge mess cause there’s so many and I don’t want my post to be wonky. And I’m also not going to categorize them because I’m eepy and didn’t get enough sleep last night, so you can figure it out yourself Anon lmao.
(But if you can’t find any, please tell me I’ll help)
So, without further ado… Here are my fic recs!
-
Fics:
Perfect by Sideblog: My absolute, all time favorite AA fic! Ever! Literally ever! I don't really wanna talk about the plot because that basically spoils the whole thing and I don't wanna do that to you, you just gotta read it! It is beautifully written and has an amazing concept that I would never think of in a million years! Seriously, so criminally underrated to the point of I have no idea how it doesn’t have like 15,000 hits on A3O. Even though I didn't explain much of the plot, just know that it is incredible and absolutely worth a read. I come back to it sometimes to read it because IT IS THAT GOOD. When I first saw this fic I didn’t really know what to expect because there weren’t any warnings or practically anything. Very mysterious fic. So glad I read it, though. When you get done reading this Anon, you gotta tell me what you think.
El Capo A Fine by tellezara: There’s something incredible about specialized Au fics in which you can tell that despite whatever the Au fic is about, the writer has an absolute love for the subject. This one is about musical instruments and Ace Attorney characters being part of an orchestra, and you can tell that this person has done orchestra before (Or at least thoroughly researched it and has a love for it) because they put in so many facts and interesting tidbits about instruments and the orchestra world that I never knew about and I loved learning about all of it. Fics like these are very special in my opinion because those people write it out of pure love for whatever the subject is and whatever the fandom is. Anyway, fic good. (Makes me wanna write an Ace Attorney choir fic, that’s my speciality)
The Miraculous Disappearance of Phoenix Wright by JJsADragon: Was on a road trip when I first read this and literally could NOT. STOP. READING. HAD ME GRIPPED. EDGE OF CARSEAT. The whole plot is basically a parody of "It's A Wonderful Life" where Phoenix ends up in a universe where he was never born. Which, as you can guess, causes a myriad of problems for the legal world and world in general. I had no idea where the plot was going, didn't know how it was going to end, and WAS TERRIFIED. But. I kept reading anyway. IT IS THAT GOOD.
Miles Edgeworth: The Ace Attorney by Charybdia: I SPENT AGES. AGES. Looking for a good, finished Ace Attorney roleswap fic. And when I found this one I STRUCK GOLD. SWEAR IT. Amazing, love this one. Still come back to it. IT’S GOT OBNOXIOUS THEATRE KID PHOENIX WRIGHT, HOW CAN I NOT LOVE IT? It also is accompanied by art Also, also, We get good friend Larry Butz. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR?
Carpe Diem (make your lives extraordinary by Elysya): A high school Au featuring theater kid Phoenix, debate kid Miles and third wheel Larry. I loved this one. It’s also just super interesting. The developing relationship between Phoenix and Miles is one that I really like as they’re both messy teenagers and really gotta work out their flaws if they wanna be together.
Begone Dull Care by VivaRockSteady: A good Au fic surrounding patient Miles and nurse Phoenix. Goes into good detail about recovering from suicide and depression, and recovering from other mental health issues. Also check out some of the other fics by this writer. One is an Au of the Truman Show and the other is a Roman/Greek Au that I found incredibly interesting.
if you leave the light on by AngstinSpace: A very good fic. I was reading this one in my study hall and my teacher was playing calming piano music that was kinda sad/melancholic and I started tearing up in class because I was feeling all the emotions. Girl this is good, go read it.
I used to think people were good but now I just think they’re people by thebirdsandtheboxes: SEVERELY UNDERRATED. Super good and goes very in-depth into Phoenix’s disbarment period and how he and his friends and family react. Also has some good Asexual!Miles moments.
This man is not your boyfriend by its_ok_inside: AN AMAZING FIC CENTERING AROUND PHOENIX HAVING AMNESIA AND MILES HELPING HIM DEAL WITH IT. Hilarious. Super funny. I love it. Also is accompanied by some artwork. FUCK YEAH THIS FIC. A classic.
Surviving You by pantswarrior: I’m pretty sure this is an older fic that got moved, and it kinda shows that in its writing (Yk those fics that you can tell were written in the 2000s/early 2010s based on their vocabulary and thoughts on gay relationships? Kinda like that) but it’s good. Very good.
A False Start by theacegrace: A phenomenal fic centered around Bratworth!Miles meeting Feenie!Phoenix and Miles praying that Phoenix doesn’t get accused of murder when he sees Phoenix with Dahlia. Loved this one so much and came back to it a couple times.
Chicago Noel by canonlacrush: A classic. There used to be an Au a while back that everyone was obsessed with and it was a bakery/mafia Au. I wish there were more fics that catered to that Au but they’re hard to find. Anyway, this one is great.
Maybe In Time You’ll Want To Be Mine by YourAverageBystander: A time loop fic that I absolutely adore. Y’all really gotta key in on these Ace Attorney time loop/time travel fics, there’s a couple in here. THEY ARE A TREASURE.
Turnabout Sole by CollaboralDamage: An awesome bodyswap fic. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND BODY SWAP FIC IN THIS FANDOM?! And this one is good. Very good. Liked it a lot.
Shared Work Space by nerdyskeleton: I think the fic’s summary works best here “It was the best of times, it was the worst of time when Miles Edgeworth discovers he likes to be called Daddy”.
Shear Luck by TopazEstrella: One that I didn’t really know what to think of when I first kept seeing it on my search for Narumitsu fics, but I’m very glad I read it. It’s different, but I like it. Has some Krisnix in it.
The Illusion Of Control by Ekat: Amazing. Loved it. Takes place in an alternate universe where Miles died and Gregory didn’t. Has a lot of found family dynamics featuring Mr. Edgeworth, Phoenix and Ray.
Tight Lesh by Ensiy: I come back to this one often. One of the only fics that has good Kristoph and Miles interaction. They’re both catty bitches to each other. Has some Krisnix in it.
Out of Order by canolacrush: A super cute fic where Miles gets a haircut and Phoenix gets a crush. I re-read it a lot because it’s super cute and really fluffy.
With The Phases Of The Moon by Puddor: One I come back to often for a couple of moments. Really love it. One of the good Werewolf!Phoenix and Vampire!Miles fics.
You Ever Been In Love? by hechima: Loved this one a lot. We love the Wright gang trying to matchmake. A classic in terms of AA fics and for good reason.
Observe and Record by MAVEfm: An introspective Miles fic detailing him and his personal journal. I really like this one. Has some Krisnix in it.
Pressing Pursuit ~ Cornered by viviaciousbarkbeast: Love this one. I think this was one of the first AA fics I’ve read. Has some Krisnix in it.
That Man by Sunshine_And_Starlight: A really good fic. It has one of my favorite tropes and I come back to it for certain moments that I really like and wanna read again.
A Badge Of Honor by sunsmasher: Really loved this one. I also come back to re-read it cause it’s just so funny and awkward and hilarious.
Awkward Business by hechima: I’m a sucker for this trope! You’ll see what I mean when you read it. It’s all gold! I still come back to this one.
wait (they don’t love you like I love you) by Samioli: Super good fic detailing Miles finding out about all Phoenix’s past relationships.
parallelogram by zombiekittiez: Such a slay fic, has a strange premise at first BUT we get Shakespeare references so that’s a big plus.
All There Is by sunsmasher: Loved it. A really good look into Krisnix as a relationship and dealing with sexual trauma.
London, 2021 by syailendra: Has a lot of good moments. I come back to this one a lot. Has some Krisnix in it.
Sketched Memories by gen: LOVED THIS ONE. OBSESSED. You just gotta read it. It’s a recent one but VERY GOOD.
Archaeology by sunsmasher: Everyone eats pizza, and truamadumps. Just a typical day at the Wright Anything Agency.
Dancer In The Dark by klaviersimp: Ahhh, I love this fic a lot. It holds a special place in my heart. Little suggestive but I like it.
dig my nails into the wound by gavinnersworldtour: A very good Krisnix fic. Delicious. I love this one.
Temptation by crayoncompanion: An interesting one that I can’t help but really love.
Hot, Sticky, Sweet by mutxnts: A really good fic. I CRAVE a continuation but it’s a one-shot.
Sin. Eater by potatomin: A very good Demon!Miles and Angel!Phoenix fic. Makes you want more.
romance is not dead (if you keep it just yours) by Samioli: This one was just sweet. I liked it a lot.
just desserts by riskphee: YES. YES. Love this one. I still come back to read it.
Thrown Through A Loop by savitaraandsigh: Another time loop fic that I absolutely adore.
From The Top by lazynina: Another Time loop fic that I absolutely adore.
Bespoke by Demus: We love suit kinks.
That Goddamned Idiot That Is Phoenix Wright by fyrebyrd_fta
Kleptomania by Ekat
Working Hazard by lilacSkye
caught in the act by Samioli
I’ll Cover You by nerd4fandoms
my rapt heart by griffonage
Bad dream, good time by notlikelybutpossible
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Series:
7 years under the bridge: A series surrounding Phoenix’s fall and his relationships with Miles and Kristoph respectively.
7 year ache: Another series surrounding Phoenix’s fall and his relationships with Miles and Kristoph respectively.
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And that’s most of them! There’s definately more, but those are the ones that really made an impression on me and that I think about a lot (And also the ones I could find easily without having to check every one of my bookmarks) You can find more that way if you want though! By looking through my bookmarks on A3O that is. That’s what I do sometimes with other A3O members and it’s worked out well (Look for the Buddy Daddies fics in my bookmarks, that’s where most of them start but definitely check my bookmarks, there’s a couple good ones I can’t find at the moment that I know are in there). But I also recommend doing your own research too, it doesn’t seem like fun but when you end up finding one of the hidden gem fics it’s totally worth it.
Here’s some advice, buddy, try to start at the beginning, like go all the way down to the last folder on A3O, but maybe first search for an AA tag that you know will have a smaller fic pool and go from there. And when you find an author you like, try and check out if they have some other AA fics. Most of the writers of the fics I have recommended have more Ace Attorney fics in their arsenal that I’ve read and enjoyed and just didn’t wanna put on here, so check them out!
Btw Anon, if you want the more… Darker fics that I like (There aren’t many, but there’s a couple) DM me because I don’t wanna give those out publicly since it just makes me sorta uncomfy and I don’t want others to be uncomfy. This also goes for smuttier fics that I don’t feel like sharing at the moment.
Sorry if this was a lot Anon, I just love fanfiction, it’s definately one of the more interesting art forms out there, and think a lot of the ones I read deserve to be shared!
(Oh, also, I write fics too Anon. Check out my AA fic if you wanna. Sorry to self-promote but I promise it’s cute!!)
Anyway, that’s all! Goodnight everybody!
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winterwhisperz-blog · 18 hours
Note
Hey i just read your touchstarved headcanons and I LOVE IT!!!
And Here’s my request is that can you do a scenario of TS boys with MC who can speak different languages??? (like Italian or French)
Don’t worry i am a patient person and I won’t rush you. And i hope you’ll make more scenarios of the TS boys in be future.
YES HI HELLO !! I am, SO SO SORRY for taking two thousand centuries to respond to this—I’ve been pretty stressed over work so I haven’t been able to write headcanons as much— BUT TYSM FOR THE ASK !! IM SO HAPPY YOUVE ENJOYED MY HEADCANONS !
I do want to apologize in advance that these are going to be shorter and less one-shot like, than my others. These will be more like my Kuras Headcanons I made awhile ago—(Life has been kicking my butt lately so my motivation has been LOW)
But I hope you still enjoy them !!
Also huuuuge thanks to @danyvhell-writes
For helping me with these ideas !! You’re a saint 🙏
ALR LES GO
Note: gn reader! Fluff
Warnings: PROBABLY OOC PLS DONT HATE ME
Ais
ALR ALR AHAHAHAHA
So, one of my besties would do this A LOT where she would just switch into Spanish and I’d just be there like ???
So I thought it would be funny if you did that with Ais here
Imagine you’re in some kind of argument, a stupid, light one you know— and to annoy him
YOU JUST SWITCH INTO A WHOLE DIFFERENT LANGUAGE
He’s completely stunned, red eyes wide as you just start rambling, (very passionately) in a language he doesn’t understand
As you go on though, he just becomes utterly impressed, watching your mouth as he studies the words coming out of it (and just because he’s flirty LMAOOOO)
After you’ve had your fun, he comments something like “Impressive, Sparrow.” And then asks you, ofc, if you can teach him what you said
To tease him a bit more, you don’t tell him for a bit until he BRINGS OUT THESE GIANT PUPPY EYES
So you do start teaching him, just long evenings hunched over books or a paper as you teach him different phrases and words, the candle light dancing on his focused gaze.
And one day, out of the blue, he starts calling you Sparrow in the language you were speaking(and you also hear him practice words while talking with Princess—AND ITS SO ADORABLE)
After he’s becoming pretty good at it, you then proceed to tease other people(Leander) by randomly switching mid-conversation into a different language <33
Leander
NOW WITH THIS ONE, it reminded me of this really cool video of a guy switching between loads of languages in one song
IMAGINE showing this off to Leander one rowdy night at the Wet Wick
Maybe it’s even one of his favorite songs ??? And hearing you sing it in so many languages would absolutely knock him off his feet.
Another thing I think he’d go CRAZY FOR
Pet names, in whatever language.
Like ?? You call him something like “Mi amor…” for Spanish, or “Tesoruccio.” For Italian ??
He’s done for. Doomed. Dead. Will beg you to repeat it over and over while he showers your hands or arms with kisses.
He’s also one that would definitely be okay with you calling these pet names in public—he wants to be all smug that HES the one called yours.
He probably also learns whatever language you speak as well, might already know it because bro probably had tutors that taught him so many languages man.
In return for the pet names, he probably calls you something like “λατρεία μου” or “latria mu” (My adored !!! 🥹 in greek)
Kuras
NOW, THIS IS INTERESTING
I’m guessing since Kuras is an Angel, he knows like ??? Every language?
So when he finds out you speak others, he’s instantly curious, impressed, and now it’s quiz time.
You pass by a certain object, plant, anything, and he asks you how to say it in your language(s). Even if he may already know, he likes to hear it coming from you, enjoying the glint in your eyes as you explain things.
Another thing he’ll do, is when you’re having a library date, he’ll hand you a book and request you translate it. Either from your language to—whatever language people speak in Eridia ?? Or from that language to yours.
These will turn into nightly strolls with you translating a poem or book as he strides beside you, golden eyes locked on every word.
In return, he’ll translate whatever text into a language you don’t know. (I wonder if angels have a specific language??)
A name for him, I think it’d be cute if you called him 아름다운 천사 (Beautiful Angel in Korean !!)
Whether this is after or before you know he’s an Angel, he finds it both amusing and endearing. (Or painfully ironic if his life as an Angel is a tough subject)
Mhin
OKAY SOSOSOSOSO !! Mhin evidently thirsts for knowledge, they’re a lil nerd and they’re rlly bad at hiding it (A mood really. one of the reasons I love them <3) and my friend mentioned they’re more of a listener? So like I can see them just—paying very close attention to every word you say
At times they may not seem to be listening to you as you ramble, or catch a few words of slang from your language(s). But they’re actually secretly a sponge and soak up every little detail.
And now this may be just me but Mhin gives off such I must impress you with all my random facts vibes.
They ask questions about the languages you speak, the slang, the meanings, how to pronounce things correctly, everything
And then they do their own research, soaking up all they can before appearing to you one day and just starting the conversation in your language(s)
When you show any sign of being impressed, they will look away blushing and try to act cool but nahhh buddy you aren’t fooling anyone we know you spent forever working on that
Similar to Ais, lots of late night lessons where you get to teach Mhin about your language(s)! Just you two looming over an open book, Mhin scribbling down notes, looking so concentrated and you even spot a smile starting to form as they start getting better and better. (I love themmmmm 😭)
Mhin asks you to quiz them a lot, and looks so !! !! Just proud of themself when they pass. (Before realizing it and their self loathing kicks in and they revert back to >:( ) You want to tell them that they don’t need to be quizzed but look at their face !! Let them impress you okay !! They’re top 1 student !!
If you want you can joke about them having to call you Professor(Mc) or something but ur just gonna get a deep frown and glare like 😒 nuh uh AHAHSHS
Vere
Ohhh vere my nemesis. (He’s the toughest for me to write i have to like mentally and physically ambush him in a fast food parking lot before I can get anything outta him)
(I love him so much though so here we go !! Thanks to my friend for giving me a lot of help in this one because otherwise I’d be a doomed woman)
My friend brought up since he’s a fox, he’s very sensitive to sound !! So when you’re speaking in your mother language, he notices how your tone might change, watches as your tongue moves against your teeth or the top of your mouth, idk but he makes it a sensual thing somehow 😭
Definitely flirts with you in your language(s), says the most outrageous thing and watches as you get stunned or flustered by it, absolutely delighted that no one but you (or anyone who’s unfortunately being nosy and can understand) knows what he’s saying.
Okay this may be dumb but it’s so funny to me imagine Vere like putting on his most smooth, seductive tone, convincing the people around that he’s gonna say like the most erotic thing but he ends up just saying something like 💀 “Avocados” in your language(s) or like “Leander looks like a chicken breast” he does it to see you laugh but also because Leander overhears and could tell his name was said and thinks Vere is like— finally coming around but only you two rlly know Vere is just sexily roasting him.
Due to recent lore being dropped, and in his lil character sheet, it says Vere has a huge love for the arts. I think it’d be really neat if you introduced him to things specifically written in your language(s) !! Like books that originated from your country, plays that are only acted in that language(s), just a tour of the language! And if he doesn’t know your languages(s) then teaching him is gonna be like 💀 somehow so flirty
Will definitely call you Professor(Mc) but he makes it sound absolutely horrendous and cringey and you will regret it you probably should turn back
Jokingly will ask if you’ll give him a golden sticker if he behaves—do it, just to humble him.
OKAY WE’VE REACHED THE END WOOOT WOOT !!!! I DIDNT THINK I’D MAKE IT !!! Been stuck in this endless void for ages !!
Hem hem, thanks so much for the ask !!! I’m so so sorry it took forever 😭 writer’s block nearly had my head this time uh oh
Thank you again to my bestie for helping me out !!
Now I hope you see the most beautiful sunset, eat your favorite dessert, learn something new, and have a happy spring !! 🫶🩷✨
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silverflqmes · 21 hours
Note
you are legit my favorite ffvii writer at the moment dude. if you feel like it, do you think you can write smth about being childhood friends w zack and reuniting with him one day? make sure to take care of yourself 💕 :)
໒⦂ 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆.
notes. HELP YOU’RE SO SWEET ANON??? IWOWJDJDK i haven’t written as much yet and i still have lots to learn but that really warmed my heart to hear 🥹🥹🥹 i decided to combine this with another request, i hope that’s okay with you both!<3
genre. fluff + angst
disclaimer. tifa speaking on cloud can either be platonic or romantic — whatever you wanna think just don’t start up a whole ship war bc it’s embarrassing as hell. obviously this is a zack fic so focus on zack smh.
zack fair x gn!reader.
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“you’re.. leaving for SOLDIER?”
you shouldn’t be shocked, that was the last thing you should have been since you had been the one to encourage his decision.
and yet.. why did it hurt? you had known that it would, it was only naturally — but not like this.
zack averted his stare from the star blanketed sky, smiling solemnly. “sure am. you helped me realize that becoming a hero is something that i should do — that the world needed my kind of help.. so that’s,” he paused, allowing the evening breeze to shift his dark bangs. “exactly what i gotta do.”
you fell into silence for a moment, pursing your lips together as you considered his words.
it had been your crush’s dream from young, since seeing sephiroth on propaganda and hearing of his endeavors, to become a hero. the life he’d led in gongaga was wonderful, peaceful.. but you knew, deep down, he’d wanted to make that name for himself. that zack was.. meant for greater things.
and you, torn between your feelings for him and the need to encourage him as his best friend.. had no choice but to put aside what you felt to urge him to embrace his dreams.
when he received no answer, the raven haired teen took it as a sign to continue, leaning back on his elbows. “as of now, you’re the only one i’ve told about my decision — cuz well.. as you know, my parents aren’t super chill with it.” he laughed out, shaking his head. “so i’m gonna leave tomorrow night. got everything packed up already, a letter ready for them to pass on and i’ll be good to go!”
“tomorrow night? so soon?” you nearly interrogated him, only to respond with a slow nod. “you have my word, don’t worry about it.” should you tell on your friend? would that keep him just a little while longer if his parents knew and prevented his departure? would he hate you for it and finally give you a reason to stop feeling this way about him?
no.. you couldn’t live with yourself if he had hated you. that was practically death served on a silver platter, your heart would never start again if zack had expressed contempt for you.
for a second, longing flashed in his eyes before he allowed himself to grin, patting your back gently. “you’re amazing y/n!! i knew i could count on you no matter what! i’ll be sure to bring you something real nice from the big city!! and that’s a promise!”
a smile that didn’t quite meet your gaze etched itself onto your lips as you let out a hum of agreement. “you’re the amazing one, zack. i’ll..” miss you. “..be holding you to that promise, so you better keep it.”
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three years passed and no sign of zack. the promise stood, but remained unfulfilled.
you should have expected it, that becoming a SOLDIER meant never seeing him again. you knew he was alive, a letter would have come if he wasn’t, and his parents kept you posted thankfully.
yet, there was still an emptiness you felt in his absence. every year, you’d told yourself that perhaps maybe, he would come home to visit this time.
now, having turned eighteen, you had decided to leave the comfort of gongaga as zack once had, and journeyed to nibelheim — a village in the mountains. it was small, quaint as your hometown was, perhaps colder, but after being offered a job through your parents, it called to you.
your mother had been from nibelheim and met your father in midgar — who had left gongaga to pursue a career in research as she had.
despite their retirement, they had developed many connections.. one of which, had been in the mountain village.
when you pleaded to leave and join up with your friend in the city he’d left for, your parents had urged you not to, and were strict on it.. as though something had been terribly wrong there.
you’d never asked why they retired so early on, and just assumed they had wanted to settle since they’d made their money.
but it didn’t.. fully seem that way.
“didja hear y/n? there’s a group of SOLDIERS coming down here tonight. ahhh, i hope cloud is there — i haven’t seen him in years.” your companion and guide sighed out, pacing about idly as you jotted down notes on your observations of the terrain.
tifa had been a friend you’d made upon your arrival. she was a year younger, but a real go getter and great help on your expeditions. in the beginning you worried for her safety, stringing her along as you did — only for her to protect you from the perils you feared.
you’d have to ask if that mentor of hers was willing to show you a move or two on self defense.
“cloud, huh? is he in SOLDIER, too?” you had told the girl before you already about your old buddy, as there was no possible way of her exposing your feelings for him.
and honestly, it was comforting to confide in someone for a change.
she nodded eagerly at your question, smiling softly. “he should be, it was his dream to become a SOLDIER, like sephiroth — that’s what he told me one day before he left.. and he’d promised to always protect me, no matter what.”
your writing seemed to pause at her comment, head lowering as you willed yourself to chuckle despite your anguish. “is that so?” zack, as you recalled, had dreamt of the same. “well, i hope he comes home safe if he’s a part of that group.” you smiled a little, closing your notebook before standing up from your crouched position.
“that should be enough for today, thanks for coming along again — i think i’m almost there with reaching my conclusion on this strange increase in mako spillage on the landscape.. but i just- can’t seem to put my finger on it.” you muttered, knitting your brows together before casting a glance over at mt. nibel- the highest point of the area you had moved to. “whatever, they’re keeping in that reactor.. there’s something really off about it.”
the burgundy eyed female followed your gaze before humming absentmindedly. “yeah.. i’m hoping those guys coming today might know or at least clean up over there.. i’d hate to see what might happen if the pollution intensifies down here.” she answered softly, helping you up before looking ahead. “for now, let’s get back — it’s almost sundown.”
at the mention of the visitors on their way from midgar, your thoughts went to your old friend, but you reprimanded yourself quickly. you would not have hopes again — as they only ever existed to get shattered and turn into despair.
and yet.. that one percentage asking but what if, remained.
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the sun had drowned into billowing clouds, a shade of golden casting over the scenery as you walked beside your friend, exhaustion creeping up on you. however, you reminded yourself that the descent was always easier than the ascent.
“and we’re back, thank you for taking the tifa express way~” your travel partner giggled, earning a smile in return from you. she always had a way of brightening the mood with her optimism. kind of like.. nevermind.
the brunette looked around when she found the villagers gathered in the centre, adjusting her hat with a pout. “did we just miss them? i didn’t think we would be this late..”
you copied her actions, letting out a sound of contemplation. “maybe they turned in, midgar is a long way from here.. i’m sure they wanted to just take things easy for the night and start off fresh tomorrow.”
tifa paused for a minute to think before letting out a sigh and nodding. “i guess you have a point — tomorrow, then.” she smiled again, holding out her thumb. “i’m gonna be their guide, i’ll make sure of it!”
you rolled your eyes in amusement before nudging her with your elbow. “whatever helps you sleep at night, tifa.. i’ll catch you in the morning, in that case. i still gotta sort some things with information i picked up today.” a trip to that mako reactor and your research might at last be complete. perhaps.. you could convince the group in bringing you along- especially if your friend would be going.
it was the perfect in!
“mhm, see you in the morning, y/n! don’t be up all night doing that work of yours if you wanna wake up on time!”
with those parting words, followed by a wave, the female dressed in orange walked towards the direction of her home, eagerly greeting her father at the door before joining him inside.
your shoulders fell, a low exhale escaping your lips as you adjusted your backpack. and just like that, she was gone.
you made your way into the inn you’d been staying at for the time being, rubbing your eyes.
it was a temporary arrangement, given you hadn’t fully decided yet if you would be staying permanently in nibelheim. however, the living accommodations worked just fine.
you hadn’t thought yourself difficult to please, anyway. so long as you had the necessary essentials needed to live, all was well. that was what you’d learned growing up in gongaga.
entering the inn, you greeted the host before ascending the steps, pausing when you caught sight of a towering, silver haired.. male? unless a woman could stand at nearly seven feet.. and across from him, stood.. no — had your eyes deceived you?
“z-zack..?”
the conversation between the pair, whatever it had been about, came to a full stop as they turned to face you, shock painting on the face of the SOLDIER with the darker hair.
“y/n..??” he spoke up incredulously, blinking over at you as his jaw fell just slightly. “no way- what’re you doing here.. in nibelheim of all places? i thought you were-”
“in gongaga?” you asked with a small smile before shaking your head. “my parents found me work here, so i moved just a few months ago. never thought i’d see you here, before returning home, no less.”
zack could feel the coldness of your words, piercing through him like icicles tipped in poison. pissed was an understatement.
the taller behind him smiled awkwardly before moving towards his door, not wanting to be muddled into the affairs of his triend. “i believe you both have some catching up to do.. i will see you in the morning, zack.”
the boy in question parted his lips in protest, but the cat-eyed male was gone before he could do so. damn!
awkwardly, he turned to meet your awaiting stare, swallowing thickly.
“sorry, i’ve.. had a lot going on.” he confessed, lowering his head in shame. “i wanted to come home sooner — especially after making first class just recently- but things.. everything that has been going on as of late at shinra, it’s been really messed up.” zack confessed, clenching his fists at his side before letting out a glum chuckle. “and it just keeps getting weirder.. what were the odds i’d find you here of all places?”
you leaned against the window, folding your arms as you gazed out. “close to none. i guess it’s a thing of fate, maybe.” you offered, sliding your eyes back to his zircon ones. “seems my parents were right to not send me to the city with whatever ‘messed up things’ that happened.”
the SOLDIER nodded, allowing a brief silence to pass before smiling. “they probably were, yeah.. don’t think you would have liked midgar much, anyway. it’s all gross and industrial looking.. although!” he blurted suddenly, perking up as though he’d remembered something. “wait right here, i’ve got something i want to give you!”
you rose a brow at his random burst of energy, reminding you that despite the change in his appearance, the development he had gone through.. he was still your zack, and that wouldn’t change.
he disappeared into his room before you could answer, rummaging by the noises you’d made out, which had you shielding your mouth with your hand. “don’t get lost in there, now.”
“like i would!” he laughed before emerging from his quarters, holding out a messily wrapped box for you. “no matter where i went, i always kept this with me, thinking that maybe- just maybe, i would pass through our hometown and find you to hold up that promise i made to you. finally,” the spiky haired SOLDIER paused, grinning brightly. “i was able to fulfill it!”
you blinked in surprise, taking the package into your hand as you felt your face burn despite the coldness provided by the high altitudes of nibelheim. “you.. remembered?”
appalled, zack let out a gasp of offense. “remembered? how could i forget?? a promise is a promise, and i intended on keeping it!” he huffed out before raising his fists before him in excitement. “now come on, open it!!”
overcome with a sudden happiness, to know you hadn’t been forgotten despite the negative thoughts you’d created, you opened up his gift to you with earnest. a glimpse of green entered your vision as you quirked a curious brow. a plant? no.. zack wasn’t the type to keep plants.
finally removing the top completely, you stared down at the present before stifling a laugh into your forearm. “you- you got me a cactuar.. stuffed toy?” you spluttered in surprise.
of course he did — it was zack for goodness sake..
“sure did!! ya like it?? it looked authentic when i saw it in the window!” he answered proudly, placing his hands on his hips.
you continued laughing, unable to contain yourself as you held your stomach. “it’s so random- but that’s.. that’s just like you to get me!” you wiped a tear, allowing a smile nearly as bright as his, or perhaps- even brighter for a change, to replace your initial frown. “i love it a lot, but.. you wanna know what i love more?”
a mixture of interest and excitement sparked in his eyes as he inched closer, eager to hear. “what? what is it??”
having caught your breath, you closed your eyes, holding the plush close to your heart. “being here- reunited with you, again..”
like an invisible string, knots and tangles had appeared in the thread that connected you both. however, it wasn’t impossible to unravel and detangle that which connected you both, to allow an opportunity of reunion.
( even if it was the right place, but sadly.. the wrong time. )
notes. bittersweet open ending cuz well.. it’s nibelheim- anyway, i hope this was okay! i think my writing style kinda changed.. scary. oh well! the support these last few days have been much appreciated<3 tysm you guys, hearts out to you fr<3
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milflewis · 27 days
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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curly-cottage-girl · 1 year
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#just feeling a lot of things and I don’t like them bc they’re kinda ugly#I know this yearning and gaping hole in my chest is ultimately supposed to be filled with God#at least in the sense that I’m not driven to envy over others being loved more than me#but I def have not been good with prayer lately. at all :/#I’m feeling discouraged in many ways too. I want to try to do more hobbies but the learning curve is so steep when i look at them#and I already have almost no motivation anyway so that discourages me even more#I wish I WANTED to do stuff#I wish I had plans and goals in my life bc as I get older it’s more embarrassing when i talk with ppl#had a preliminary meeting with a guy who does financial advising and that kind feel flat bc like#I have no goals I’m working towards#and also I don’t even know how to describe myself and what I like and all#I caved and thought maybe I’ll make a Catholic match profile bc maybe God wants me to be more proactive#even if I don’t think I would ever be able to do anything like online dating at all#bc I can’t even do regular dating irl#I want to have known the person for a long time first#but anyway that’s ANOTHER whole thing#so anyway I stopped making my account when I had to describe myself for the profile and I just drew a blank#like sorry I don’t do or like anything :/#I mean it’s not true but it also kinda is?#but yeah now I get all sorts of emails from catholic match and I can’t unsubscribe bc you have to sign in to unsubscribe#and I technically don’t have an account yet -_- bc I didn’t finish… so stupid#maybe I should go back to therapy….#but I really was feeling like I had hit a plateau. like really it was stuff in my life that needed to change#or spiritual healing and growth#and there was only so much that talking could do by that point after I had done a good amount of growing in self knowledge#not like it ever ends really but also I had to wake up early to have them before work#and also it’s money so yeah I stopped :/#so IDK#idk what to do#either in my life or for my mental/emotional state
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strohller27 · 10 months
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#hoo boy lads I’m going out of my mind I have so much to do and no time to do it#‘you could have planned this out better’ Bitch I am the first person in my immediate family#who has even thought seriously about moving to a different country#and I HAVE ALREADY lived in another country before but it was within the confines of an exchange programme#nobody knows what I’m doing this time around and therefore nobody can help me plan#I’ve been feeling burnt out since Fall of 20-goddamn-22#and last semester I learned that my master’s degree programme cannot accommodate the thesis I want to write#life took my plans and ripped them up into millions of little pieces#and yeah you can say ‘tough shit. that’s life’ but I’m SO TIRED of this happening#because my whole life has been like that#‘you can make your own decisions when you have your own house/apartment/life’#OKAY you’ve been telling me that my whole life BUT WHEN IS IT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?#I am TRYING to take my life by the horns and make things happen but#I can’t help noticing how precarious my position is#I have to drive across country hoping my only form of transportation doesn’t somehow fail me#I have to set up a new life in a new country where I don’t know anyone and I have never lived before#it’s like trying to build a house off the side of a cliff. one wrong move? one really bad day? and I’m toast.#and yeah I signed up for this but it’s because I’M SO TIRED OF WAITING for things to fall into a place that would make this change easier#nothing’s getting easier! everything just keeps getting harder! and no matter how many times I keep beating my head against the wall#hoping I can make things fall into place…nothing seems to change for the better. and I’m sick of it!#they say good things come to those who wait but I’ve been waiting for twenty!! goddamn!! years!! and things are still the same#like standing water it just sits there and festers#I want to stop merely surviving and start LIVING for once#I want to *do* something but I need support and I feel bad asking for it#why is it so hard to make myself believe I’m allowed to take up space? why is it so hard to ask for help??#maybe because I’m worried that I’m not allowed to take up space..and I know that when I ask for help#it’s often met with non-committal sayings and shrugs and ‘well okay. you tell me what you need to do and we’ll figure it out.’#maybe I don’t know what I need to do! maybe I need help figuring that out! it doesn’t help when all I hear is ‘yep. adulting is hard’#LIKE I DIDN’T FUCKEN KNOW THAT. maybe instead of stating the obvious we could FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MOVE FORWARD?!#I’m going absolutely out of my fucken mind
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inkykeiji · 1 year
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so i’ve read rashōmon + in a grove by the real akutagawa, and i’ve begun reading crime and punishment by the real dostoevsky (absolutely loving it so far!!) but i’m kind of terrified to touch any of the real dazai’s work, especially no longer human, because i don’t want to accidentally trigger myself LMAO (*/ω\*)
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duubaloo · 2 years
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just reread one of my favorite fics and I had to hold back tears and compose myself before a meeting lmao
#that fic is so sad#bittersweet actually but mostly sad#because they got what they wanted but not exactly the way they wanted it and got it for such a little time#it is short but it described so well human emotions it just feels so real#and it’s about someone that to survive has to become a robot kind of but the way he loses himself and then has to learn to be human GOD#and the way his friend and the love of his life come to terms with it but still love him every time in every way he is because that is still#him#whatever remains of him is still him so they love him#emotions are cradled so gently in this fic#i am not good with words and I cannot say im good with making art because what’s on my head just won’t come to life the way I want it but I#hope one day my paintings can make people feel the way some fics make me feel#make me feel human and make me think and make me experience emotion and make me relate even when the story has nothing to do with me#but makes me empathize because I am human and emotions are universal#but aaah the beauty in the way that we all experience emotions in a different way right?? like someone else reading this fic won’t feel the#exact same things I felt#maybe some won’t like it … it’s incredible#but if they do connect with the story then that because we can know that aah if I were them I would feel like this too#and maybe I’m not you but I feel your joy and pain and worry#and just by reading!!! incredible#could it be possible that just by looking at a picture you can feel like that?#i know some that do#make me feel longing and sadness#and in a way artist make us feel not so alone in this world thinking that if someone can express this too then they feel it so I’m not the o#only one experiencing this or feeling it
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