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page-doctor-bekker · 3 years

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First Encounter - Lymphoblastic!au

(A/N) First fic for my lymphoblastic!au! Enjoy! This is really just setting up for the rest of the fic, so it's not the most interesting thing ever. It sets up the dynamic though!

"So here's my digs right now," Ava chuckled, showing the FaceTime camera the full span of the room, "This is my first time in the new Oncology ward, the room is nice, the view is shit, and everything..." She pointed and zoomed in at the door handle, then at an unstable chair, "Is suicide proof."

Connor laughed, "Well, you can't say it's for no reason!"

Ava's brief stint in the psych ward at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center was proof of that.

"Well, yeah, it's nice that they thought of that," She rolled her eyes, and sat back down on her bed, "The new mattresses are comfy."

"They're some fancy memory foam or something," Connor shrugged, sipping his coffee, "They splashed out on them. I guess a chief complaint of Oncology patients is lack of sleep."

"Maybe that would improve if they didn't shine flashlights in our faces all the time. I would like to die in peace."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"It's a joke, Connor," She said, weakly, "Laugh."

Connor gave a forced laugh, and Ava started to laugh herself. Connor's laugh grew harder, and more real.

"Hey, I've gotta get to work," Connor said, through his laughter, "I'll pop up and say hello when I get the chance."

Ava glanced out the window, "Alright," She said after awhile, "I'll see you then."

They hung up soon after, and Ava was alone with her thoughts, and her seemingly endless headache. She pulled off her wig, something she hadn't had the chance to do since she got to the hospital. She peeled each piece of wig tape off, wincing as it pulled at her skin. She never bothered wearing a wig in the hospital, even as a young teenager.

She collapsed into bed, pulling her weighted blanket over her and sighing.

Any time she was admitted she always brought her own blankets and pillows. They helped her feel at home. And every admission brought a significant risk of death, and if she was dying, she was going to die under the comfort of her own blankets.

Call it childish, but she brought her own stuffed animal too. A bear her mom bought her when she was first diagnosed.

She hugged the bear close to her chest, and curled around it. Her head pounded, and she felt a pang of... Something, an emotion, deep in her chest.

There was a knock on her door, and it was opened seconds later. Ava never understood why doctors knocked if they were just going to open the door anyways.

"Hey, you're going to have a roommate in the next few hours," A nurse that Ava recognized from a few admissions ago, spoke, "Please, please be nice. I obviously can't tell you anything, but just keep in mind what your first admission was like for you."

That stuck with Ava.

"Mama," Ava's voice shook. She widened the bathroom door, letting light spill into the room. Her now-bloody hospital gown hung off of her, and the light jolted her mom awake.

"Avie? What happened?"

"I don't know," Her voice heightened in fear, holding the blood-soaked tissue to her nose, "Can you call the doctor please."

Ava's mom put her glasses on and looked around, "Moeder van God, what happened to you?"

"My nose," Ava sniffled, spitting out blood from her mouth. There was blood everywhere - Her gown, her hands, her face, the floor, her bed...

"We need a doctor!" Ava's mom called out, pushing the call button on the wall and rushing to her daughter, "Quickly!"

A nurse came in a few minutes later, "Page Dr. Sal," The nurse yelled out into the hall and flicked the overhead light on, "It's okay sweetie, we're going to get you cleaned up."

Ava was sobbing at this point, shaking at the sight of her own blood, "Why isn't it stopping?"

Sarah was wheeled into the room at around lunch time, at the same time that the meal cart came around. The meal cart nurse set Ava's lunch down on her bed tray, and set Sarah's lunch on her side table.

Sarah looked pale, and thin. She had a big, ugly bruise on one of her arms, and a second smaller bruise on her opposite hand. They had her IV line on the thumb-side of her forearm, and a saline infusion running into it.

"Ava, your chemotherapy will be set up in..." The nurse bringing Sarah glanced at the clock, "Half an hour? Probably as soon as you're done eating. I'll come back in just a minute to give you your pre-medication, and then we'll start once those meds kick in."

Ava nodded, opening her food. Ah, breakfast for lunch. Two mildly soggy pieces of french toast with strawberries, a little cup of syrup, a cup of apple juice with a foil lid creatively labeled "Apple Juice", and about half a cup of scrambled eggs.

One thing she'll reluctantly compliment Gaffney on is the food. Reluctantly. Very reluctantly. For the most part this hospital frustrated her to no end and if she never came here again she would be thrilled, but the food was not terrible. Which was a glowing review, as far as Ava was concerned.

Ava snapped a picture and sent it to Connor's Snapchat. A tradition, to send him her hospital meals before eating and then send him a rating when she finished.

"Is the food here okay?"

Ava looked up at Sarah, who was now inspecting her food.

"Ah, it's not terrible, but hospital food is never great."

"I wouldn't know," She laughed weakly, "I've never even been to a hospital before," She confessed.

"Lucky you," Ava announced, "The french toast is easily the best out of all of the meals. I think I've tried almost all of them," She paused for a moment, poking her straw through the foil lid of her apple juice, "I've also tried the nearby restaurants that deliver here. Some of them throw in free delivery if you tell them you're in the oncology ward. Cancer kid perks," She joked, and Sarah sat in uncomfortable silence.

They ate quietly.

The nurse showed back up a few minutes later with several syringes in hand, "Ready Ava?"

Ava nodded, and fished her brand-new triple-lumen PICC line (the doctors really hooked her up with the good line) out of her blankets, "Ready as I'll ever be."

The nurse pushed Benadryl first, which made Ava's head feel heavy. She always felt like she had to consciously remember to breathe when she had IV Benadryl - It hit so much harder than oral Benadryl.

Zofran came next. She felt tired, but she really wouldn't be able to gauge the effects until her infusion started.

"We'll run the antibiotics through the port so they hit the bacteria directly, and we'll run your chemo and anything other than the antibiotics through your PICC," The nurse explained, "We want to eradicate this bug but we're concerned about the mass in your brain... We don't want to stop chemo and give it a chance to grow bigger."

Ava nodded, watching the nurse finish off her line, "When will my infusion start?"

The nurse looked at the clock, "Probably about one o' clock, about half an hour from now."

Ava nodded, and continued to eat after the nurse finished using her line.

She finished right before the nurse came back in to start her infusion, a clear bag with a bright yellow label, "CHEMOTHERAPY DRUGS", with a radioactivity symbol. Out of the corner of her eye, Ava saw Sarah pale at the scary label.

"Have fun," The nurse joked, and Ava rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, I'll try."

Sarah watched the medicine flow into Ava's line, and almost felt an urge to cry.

"Would you stop gawking at me?" Ava snapped.

"Sorry, sorry," Sarah squeaked, moving her eyes back to her phone.

"What's your diagnosis?" Ava pried, curious as ever.

"Leukemia."

Ava sighed, annoyed at the lack of specificity, "What kind?"

"I don't know, does it matter?"

Ava huffed, "Of course it matters. They're different."

"What are all the types? Maybe I'd recognize it when I hear it?"

"I can't list every single type of Leukemia," Ava rolled her eyes, "Is it acute or chronic?"

"What's the difference?"

"Nevermind," Ava muttered.

"I'm sorry that I'm not a doctor," Sarah replied, sarcastically, "I mean, what do you want me to do? I was diagnosed yesterday. I spent the night in the emergency room. Do you want me to become a doctor while I'm laying in a pool of my own blood?"

Ava felt a pang of guilt.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Bekker, your daughter has Acute Myeloid Leukemia, a type of blood cancer."

"Sorry I just..." Ava's voice grew small, "I didn't know."

"Yeah, whatever. It's fine. I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay."

#lymphoblastic!au #ava bekker #sarah reese #reesker #ava bekker x sarah reese #chicago med #chicago med writing #usercj #crockettstiddies #purple-dahlias

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leechonspeeddial · 3 years

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Midnight Shift: Party On Chuck E. Cheese

word count: 1,757 Read on ao3

The sunset gave the – for lack of a better word – restaurant an ethereal glow. The sticky layer that covered the tables shimmered and the soda puddles on the tiles reflected the pissiest of yellows as the sun rays hit at the perfect angle. The quiet hum of the appliances and the sizzling of hot oil complimented the soft rock that played from the ancient speakers.

This was as peaceful a moment could get here.

I took out my iPhone and ignored the combined 37 messages from Bedward – it was worth noting, only two of them were from my mother. Instead, I took a picture of one of the puddles for my Insta-story and then scrolled through my contacts; there was a birthday boy that needed to accept my face time request. I waited patiently as the phone rang.

In the meanwhile, I dipped two of my French toast sticks into the sweet golden syrup and shoved them in my mouth. Chewing thoughtfully, I watched as Gay Kevin swept the floor and Straight Kevin wiped down the counters. Jeremiah had been gone all week; a friend of his had roped him into offering ice fishing lessons across town.

“Hey, Nessie,” the warmth in his voice made me smile, as did the tiny messy braids in his long dark hair.

“Happy birthday, Jake!” His eyes twinkled when he mirrored my smile. He looked older, which I knew logically was a thing that happened – people grew older as time passed, duh. I knew that, but I rarely knew anyone long enough to see any meaningful results from aging.

“Here I thought you had forgotten. Nice hair by the way – distressingly orange,” I scoffed but he had a point. It was excessively orange, almost violently so. When Alice saw it on me for the first time, she told me she wished she were physically capable of crying.

“Nah, I’m too pretty to forget anything. I was on my shift and couldn’t call earlier”

“Shift? Wait a second, is that…Burger King?” There was more than a hint of incredulousness in his tone.

“Yup. Dropped out and got a job here” he laughed so hard that both Kevins stopped their cleaning and stared at me. I waved them off. Straight Kevin went back to work, but I could tell Gay Kevin was trying to eavesdrop.

“You’re kidding. This is a prank”

“Nope. Dead serious,” I smirked and ate more of my French toast sticks.

“There is no way Edward ‘chronic boundary stomper’ Cullen would let that happen”

“Hey, Kevin?” When both responded, I amended, “Assistant Manager Kevin”

He approached my table and tried to appear aloof, but I could tell he was invested. Despite how hard he tried to project a strictly professional persona; the man was a still a journalism major living in a town with a population of about three thousand. He was starved for anything that could be interpreted as remotely interesting – nearly had an aneurism when he found out he missed the incest baby scandal.

“Could you confirm that I work at this Burger King?” Jake looked amused and I assumed he waited to see how this would play out.

“If by work you mean eat a ridiculous amount of our inventory and consistently insult our few customers, then yes. You work here,” it was blatantly obvious how much he wanted to figure out the story.

“And I’ll be glad to return to my duties once my break is done in 15 minutes”

“Ten, but nice try”

We waited in silence until Gay Kevin took the hint and walked away from my table. He was still within hearing range, which he knew that I knew, but it was the thought that counted. Living with mind reader – and owning a smartphone – meant acknowledging there was no such thing as privacy, simply the illusion of it.

“I can’t say I fully believe this,” I simply shrugged. “But the mental images of how your parasitic relatives are dealing with this, makes me not care about silly things like the truth”

I grimaced. The damn family meeting that was called because of this had been a fucking nightmare. There had been so much yelling, and I had to promise Alice I would let her throw a shitty ‘Congrats on the new job’ party in order to get her on my side. In the end, Esme was the deciding vote, and I was sure she voted in my favour only because she wanted to feed my new coworkers.

“Enough about the leeches. How are you?” I used my French toast to gesture vaguely at the braids “Is sweet Sarah around?”

“Just put her down for a nap, she was getting cranky,” I pouted. Not only was Sarah the cutest kid ever, she also said the most insane things – once she talked to me for over 45 minutes about how you shouldn’t feed rocks dry grass because it makes the moon princess very mad, and that’s bad because then the moon princess has to bury you in sugar dirt.

I still didn’t know if I should be worried about the sugar dirt.

“Tell her aunt Nessie says hi,” he rolled his eyes.

An idea suddenly hit me.

“Hey! Let me give you a tour of the place. You’ll love it,” Gay Kevin snorted a bit too loudly for someone pretending not to listen.

“You sure?” I nodded eagerly and shoved the remaining toast into my mouth, drinking up the syrup to wash it down. Definitely ignored the looks of disgust being thrown my way.

“Ok, so this is where our customers, if we had any, would sit. And that table over there –” I pointed to the table near the heater “– is where Jeremiah sets up camp. He’s not here today though,” I hoped he was ok, it had been a cold week for humans.

Jake listened as I showed him all over the establishment, making sure not to miss the weirdest and grossest parts.

“Ok, but why do the stalls have no doors?” it was a common question.

“We were tired of teenagers hooking up in there –”

“In there!?!” I shrugged. While gross, it was far from the grossest or most unhygienic thing that happened in there. I could still remember how shell-shocked Straight Kevin looked while he recounted the tale of the Red Tuesday.

“So, we decided to take them down for a bit”

“How haven’t you gotten shut down”

“I’m pretty sure there is this whole conspiracy going on with health inspectors and the franchise owner”

Almost as if on cue, a giant fucking rat sped past me and into the kitchen.

“Holy F –” Straight Kevin’s screech cut me off, and the sounds of things being thrown could be heard.

“Jake, you just missed like the biggest rat I’ve ever seen”

“Seriously, how are you not shut down”

“Let me see if we can catch it. God, I wish I could livestream it right now”

The kitchen was a mess, Straight Kevin was scrambling on top of the counters and Gay Kevin was waving the broom in the general direction of the rat. I made sure to point my phone in a way so that Jake could see the chaos.

“Don’t just stand there!” Gay Kevin yelled, his voice a few octaves higher than usual.

“I’m still on a break though,” Gay Kevin spluttered while Straight Kevin threw whatever was available to him at the rat – in this case, it was napkins.

“Ugh fine, I’ll help with the little rat” I groaned and propped up my phone on the deep fryer ledge. No way I was going to deprive Jake of this.

I tried looking for something to catch the rat with and then spotted our big carry out bags, they looked like they could fit the fat rodent. I went to reach for one, but ended up knocking down a big tower of cups. Straight Kevin and I had made it while waiting for customers to arrive for the non-existent rush hour.

“Dude! That’s not a normal rat. It’s frigging huge,” Straight Kevin squeaked and continued his assault, now having moved on to cups.

“Calm down Kevin, stop wasting our resources!”

One Kevin glared a the other, and soon the Kevins got into an argument about what was the appropriate response for dealing with a rat of this size. I ignored them and grabbed a patty and threw it into a carry out bag, I approached the rat’s hiding place and presented my offering. I knelt down to wait and I could see its beady little eyes staring back at me.

“I don’t want to interrupt, but I think there is another rat by the back door”

All three of us Burger King employees turned to look at Jake. He tried to point to where he meant, and all three of us looked back.

Indeed, almost as if it knew we were watching, the rat stopped mid-step and stared back.

“Fuck! Me!” Gay Kevin moaned. As assistant manager, this was definitely a him problem. His outburst seemed to snap the rat out of its trance, and it scurried somewhere deeper into the kitchen.

“I want to go home!” Straight Kevin cried; he was not having a very punk rock time right now.

I looked back at phone!Jake and he looked deeply concerned.

Me? Well, I sort of wanted to take a picture of the rat and send it to the Cullen group chat. I could tell them I was bringing home a snack.

“Nessie, Watch out!” Jake’s voice made me aware of my surroundings again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a blur and quickly snapped my head to the side. It was yet another rat – one that was jumping directly at my face. My eyes widened and I swatted at the rodent…maybe a little too hard because it went flying across the kitchen. It hit the fryer ledge with a crack and I gasped.

Thankfully, the rodent didn’t fall into the hot oil, though I don’t think it survived the trip. Un-thankfully, my phone did fall into the hot oil and I was certain it didn’t survive the swim.

Fucking Fuck. Now, I wasn’t having a good time.

And this is how None of Your Fucking Business Kevin found us; A 22-year-old crying on a counter and praying, an assistant manager desperately flipping through the phone book trying to find an exterminator, and a high school drop out fishing a phone from an industrial fryer.

#twilight fanfiction #twilight renaissance #my writing #resentment cullen #midnight shift #renesmee cullen #jacob black

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satorisa · 7 years

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Lift the Veil - Chapter 3

Lift the Veil - Chapter 3: What is a Youth?

Rating: T

Summary: After living in Tokyo for the past six years, she decides to head back to Azumano to escape the big city. However, she now has to face everything that she tried to flee from all those years ago. How exactly will she fare when the pages of a long forgotten book start turning once more?

Read On: FanFiction.Net, Archive of Our Own

Warning: Risa curses twice and this is, somehow, still a SatoRisa fic. Because I need to constantly remind myself that it is.

What Is a Youth?

A rose will bloom. It then will fade…so does a youth.

I found myself sitting on a bench under the cherry blossoms, wholly disconnected from the hubbub surrounding me. With my diploma resting on my lap, I watched my peers say their farewells at this branching point towards our own futures.

Later that day, I had a one-way train ticket to Tokyo without the comforting presence of family and friends. I already had my living arrangement and furnishing set up in advance, so all I had to bring were suitcases stuffed with clothes and other miscellaneous necessities.

Behind a crowd of crying girls, I spotted the Niwa family laughing and chatting with my parents as they watched Riku and Daisuke interact in their little microcosm. Hiwatari stood in the midst of the elderly fray, with his light-blue hair standing out amongst the peppered-blacks and varying shades of red and brown, looking upon the blushing duo with that serious expression of his. He then stared through me—not at me, through me—before returning to the scene in front of him.

If the last month didn’t unravel as horribly as it did, I would’ve been with the group, most likely standing next Hiwatari and still living in blissful denial. But reality ruined that ignorance, leaving me in that same, pathetic state I was after Dark disappeared four years ago.

Knowing that my parents and their company would stay under the cherry blossoms a little longer before heading out to eat somewhere, I left, disgusted with the happiness that unfolded before me. Once home, I turned off my phone and grabbed my luggage before marching towards the train station, finally escaping this stifling town.

I walked into the police station the next morning, greeted by Hiwatari and Saehara chatting about…society’s odd fascination with romance, and the difficult quest to find our soulmates and other halves? Seeing me enter, Saehara shot up a hand in greeting. Hiwatari, on the other hand, grabbed his coffee and slightly bowed to me before disappearing into his office

“What’s in the tote?” Saehara asked, eyeing the bag hanging off the crook of my arm.

“Patience, my young grasshopper.”

He frowned, leaving his spot to roam around the station. I grabbed a protein shake out of my bag, sipping on it as I read through the stories for today’s broadcasts.

The morning went by quickly, characterized by Saehara’s coming and going with food, drinks, or his trusty steno pad. Sometimes, Hiwatari would emerge from his burrow, passing by with his trademark expression before slinking back to his office looking slightly fatigued and irritated. The lengthy social interactions he had with his force probably bogged him down. Pair that with Saehara’s constant pestering, and the Commissioner, who needed alone time to recover his energy just as much as he needed caffeine to ward off his chronic migraines, had more than enough stress piling on his already overflowing plate.

After spending so many hours studying with Hiwatari as he worked on his case reports, I became acquainted with his habits fairly quickly.

When lunch came around, and Saehara returned with a renewed interest in my tote bag, I pulled out a bento and handed it to him. “In thanks for yesterday,” I said, opening the lid to my own.

“Harada-imouto, I don’t want to die prematurely.”

“You wound me, Saehara. I’ve become a pretty good cook after living alone for a couple of years.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He took a bite, slowly nodding his head. “Not as delicious as my honey’s, but it’s better that anything you could’ve ever attempted in high school.”

“Thanks for the biased compliment,” I muttered, eliciting a laugh from him.

We talked about Akane, saying that I had to try her food at least once in my life. He called her up right there, luckily during her lunch break, and he promised me a homemade bento courtesy of his lovely honey tomorrow. Once Saehara finished his bento, he jumped up from the sofa and rushed over to Hiwatari’s office to squeeze whatever stories he could.

I returned to my laptop, passing the afternoon by skimming through stories and snacking. Eventually, Saehara left for the day and I, deciding not to risk having another encounter with Hiwatari, packed up and followed suit.

The cool evening, accompanied by a light breeze, was a nice change from the stuffy, air-conditioned inside of the police station. The setting sun dyed everything around me a subtle orange, and the tension I had unconsciously bottled up slowly dissipated with each passing step.

When I reached the news station, I expected the pre-broadcast rush that stressed me out so much back at NHK. However, the station still held the lazy atmosphere from yesterday morning even with the encroaching deadline.

I settled into my cubicle, half-focused on my work and half-listening to my coworkers whispering about me. Some of them wondered why someone as accomplished as me would work in some uneventful small town on Hokkaido’s northern shores. Others wondered if a pretty lady like me really was as “accomplished” as I claimed to be or why I exerted so much effort into such menial work.

Back in Tokyo, it took me a while to overcome by shock at how shamelessly ruthless people could be in front of the people they were gossiping about. After leaving my sheltered life in Azumano, reality slapped me until I could no longer feel my face and, as a result, I had to whip myself into shape just to cope with the cruelty of the competitive, working world.

Once I finished, stretching my legs and arms after another productive day, Riku texted me saying that we had company over for dinner. I wished she told me who exactly they were so I could present myself accordingly, but I decided not to ruin the evening-after-work and bought a small cake from a bakery on the way home. If no one dug into it, I would just have more to enjoy whenever I had a sleepless night or wanted to gorge on sweets to brighten up my day.

After work shaped my life into a relatively monotonous routine, I finally came to appreciate the small things here and there.

When I got home, I headed towards the kitchen, seeing Daisuke talking to Riku with flutes of white wine in their hands. Next to them, unfortunately, stood Hiwatari, current bane of my existence, shuffling around with his hands in his pockets.

The appetite I worked up on the way home, especially after forcing myself to refrain from buying some freshly-baked bread, disappeared, and I could feel the fatigue from the long workday settle in too quickly for my tastes. All I had to do was place the cake in fridge. After that, I could excuse myself by saying that I wasn’t feeling well, avoiding the added stress from interacting with Hiwatari and getting some well-deserved rest.

“Hey, Risa,” Daisuke greeted. “How was work?”

“Tiring,” I briefly replied, leaving the bag of empty bento boxes next to the sink before putting the cake in the fridge. “What about you? How’s work at the museum?”

“Interesting.” He laughed. “It reminds me of the good old days.”

“Ready for dinner?” Riku asked.

“Not really,” I told her. “I’m not feeling well, so I was planning on getting some rest. I’ll probably eat later.”

“And miss the lovely meal I prepared for you with wine? And your dessert with tea?”

“At least eat a little to put something in your stomach,” Hiwatari advised with his lips pursed in concern.

“I’m fine,” I grumbled harshly, leaving the trio in the kitchen.

Slamming my bedroom door closed, I collapsed on my bed, blankly staring at the photos plastered on my way, illuminated by the slivers of streetlight filtering through the lights.

Damn bastard.

I spent the past couple of hours in the dark, browsing available apartments near work. They were relatively cheap and not too far from both the news and police stations, but their layouts were boring, and I could care less about the view of rectangular, concrete buildings. I wanted a nice place, maybe close to that café, with a wonderful view of the ocean and the sunlight constantly filtering in throughout the day. It’d be worth the commute to work, but the price…

I heard a knock on my door and before I could even react, it swung open. My body tensed up, afraid that Hiwatari would come in, but the lights turned on, and Riku stood at the doorway holding a tray of food.

“You’re going to go blind doing that,” she scolded.

I shrugged. “Didn’t stop me throughout college.”

She placed the tray in front of me, playfully shoving me before sitting down on my bed. “What were you doing?”

“Looking for apartments to move into ASAP.”

Riku gasped. “I didn’t realize you hated me that much!”

I laughed before eating a forkful of her lemon-buttered fish complemented with a squash medley. Basking in my sister’s cooking, I downed the bite with some white wine, feeling my energy slowly coming back to me.

“I don’t know. I guess I feel out of place living here.”

“How could you?”

I shook my head. “You wouldn’t understand since you spent college with Daisuke practically by your side. And Hiwatari-san, Mom, and Dad were less than an hour away.”

Riku raised an eyebrow, slowly leaning towards me with a mischievous smile. Shit, what’s she going to ask me about?

“Hiwatari-san? What happened to those nicknames you guys called each other? What were they again…oh yeah! S—”

“Don’t you dare!” I interrupted, lightly slapping her shoulder for bringing that up. She grinned. “But you’ve just make my point: things have changed since I left.”

“Of course they have! Did you think everything would be the same when you’ve been gone for six years?”

“Of course not! I’m not that dumb.” I pouted from Riku’s lack of faith in me, but she just laughed. I waited for the jovial mood to die down before continuing, staring at my hands that lightly grasped the silverware. “But I can’t stay in this house, in this room: it’s dysphoric. It feels like I’ve come back to that life I shed when I headed off to college, picking up exactly where I left off. God, Riku, it’s sickening.”

I finished my food in silence, not bothering to stare at Riku. I didn’t want to see the pity on her face or the pain from trying to understand a sister that had literally dropped off the face of her world six years ago without even a simple goodbye. The photos in my room haunted me with happy memories that only worsened my return; it was a stark reminder of what I no longer had.

“Is this why you left for Tokyo as soon as you could?” she asked, with an uncanny shakiness in her tone. “So that you could run away from that life?

“Sure. We can go with that.”

“Risa, what exactly happened during that last month of school? You— ”

“Please, let’s keep the past in the past, okay?”

It was hypocritical for me to say that considering the past still had me in its vice grip to this day, but I couldn’t bear to talk to Riku about it. I looked at her, remembering that this was the exact same expression she had when she found me in the shower, curled up in fetal position while trying to wail the pain away. If she kept that on her face for any longer, I knew I would’ve started crying. Riku looked like she was on the verge of tears too and, somehow pulling through for both of us, shot me a smile before rubbing my arm in comfort.

“Well, whenever you want to tackle that past, remember that you don’t have to do it alone, okay? We’re all here for you.” She hugged me before leaving my room with my empty tray.

Feeling a tug at my heart, I knew that she was crying downstairs. Just the image of her, with tears silently running down her face while washing the dishes, hurt so much. Despite the six years away from Azumano, I found solace in knowing that not much has changed between me and Riku, but that familiarity was too weak to keep me sane in this mansion.

Trying to get my mind off that and keep the creeping sadness at bay, I returned to my phone, browsing to find what would be my new home.

2 AM.

I had work in a couple of hours, yet I found myself wide awake. I even tried reading some tanka, trying to calm my mind with the succinct poems filled with descriptions of nature that lent to their usually romantic tone but even that didn’t work.

Leaving my room, I headed to the kitchen in hopes of leftover cake in the fridge. Not that I should be snacking this late/early, but maybe the cold dessert could lull me into lethargy.

Back in high school, while I struggled to study for tests or entrance exams through the dead hours of night, I always found myself on the kitchen floor, snacking while I stayed on the phone. I would weave in and out of periods of conversational chatter and silence accompanied by the background noise of my study music playlist of instrumental music that somehow helped me stay awake instead of putting me to sleep.

Sometimes, Riku would find me in the morning, cradling my phone in the middle of a mess of snacks and paper. Other times, usually on weekends, my parents would find me at the dining table, pulling an all-nighter after spending so much time chatting with the person on the other end of the line. They thought I was crazy; looking back on it now, I regretted the amount of sleep I sacrificed for something so pointless, but I was a stupid teenager who didn’t know any better.

Six years later, I still think that I really didn’t know any better coming back here.

Opening the fridge, I saw a slice of cake cradled in its bubble of saran wrap and settled onto the dining table ready to dig in. After one spoonful, I was convinced that this was a worthwhile decision.

For a second, I imagined it: eating my cake at 2 AM with three other conspirers, sneaking out of our respective rooms to chat the night away. My parents let Hiwatari and Daisuke sleep here, but rules were rules, and after lights out, the boys and girls were to retreat into their own rooms. Yet, being young and rebellious, we’d wreck quiet havoc in the wee hours of the night.

Finishing my cake, and knowing that there was no way I would be able to get back to sleep, I cleaned up after myself, sat on the floor, and turned on that same study playlist, daydreaming the night away until the sun peaked over the clouds, greeting me with a good morning.

#dnangel #satorisa #satoshi hiwatari #risa harada #lift the veil #my writing #fanfiction #uh...it's an alright chapter #you got your daily dose of saehara #some quiet risa time at the end #all the tellings of a satorisa fic #because seriously most of them involve some type of melodrama and angst #and it only gets worse from here #and editing it is getting worse from here too #;;

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lavieboheme930 · 6 years

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What is the easiest website to pass time on? None really. I usually read on my Kindle to pass my time What’s the last place you left early, and what was your reason? Murr’s party back in June because I had some stomach bug Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? No Would you rather visit London or Paris? London.

Have you ever bought a youtuber’s merch? No

Pick a flavor: pumpkin or apple? Ohhh I can’t choose. I love them both Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? water What kind of milk do you usually use? soy What is the best type of donut? Whatever I’m in the mood for. What was your last great garage sale find? I don’t go to garage sales. Do you like thrift stores? I don’t go to any. When was the last time you ran into someone that you didn’t want to see? Last weekend. Was anyone rude to you today? No. What is your town known for? It’s NYC...it’s known for many things lol Who is your favorite set of twins on youtube? I don’t watch youtubers. Do you like to watch DIY craft videos? No. What are you regretting right now? Something I don’t want to talk to. Who was the last person who was rude to you? Ugh Would you ever let the barista at Starbucks make a random drink for you? I used to when I worked at Starbucks and my friends who worked bar during the day would do that all the time. Have you ever used a fake name at Starbucks? No. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? At night. What is the worst job you’ve ever had? Starbucks What is the best job you’ve ever had?

-The one I have now. Working from home as a freelance writer What job do you want to have? The one I have now What are you passionate about? Standup comedy. I’m starting to do it. Have you ever tried vlogging, and if yes, did you stick with it? No ^Same question with blogging. Have you? Yes. I have one for my poetry and one for my book reviews.

Do you have to alter a lot of your clothes? No What country do you most want to visit? Scotland. Do you have chronic pain? No If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? How caring everyone is there ^and what is your least favorite thing about it?

-Nothing. I love it. Did you go to church this week?

-I did What is something that’s bothering you right now? This cold I can’t get rid of Are you happy right this instant? Yes. What’s your favorite fall beverage? Pumpkin spice of course

Do you exercise daily? No What do you do for exercise? Walk around Is your room/house cluttered? No. Do you live in a house, condo, apartment, or dorm? apartment Were your college years the best years of your life? They were ok. Made many great friends there What was your favorite class in high school? None. Hated high school Which class in high school did you hate the most? read above Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Nope What color is your lava lamp? i don’t have one. Do you have an inspiration board? No. Where do you store old photos? Albums Do you have photos on the wall in your bedroom? Yes. Favorite scent for a candle? None. Hate candles Would you ever film a youtube video with no make-up on and messy hair? No

What is the most comfortable type of pants, in your opinion? Leggings Do you cry a lot? Yes Do you keep up to date with the latest technology? Try to LOL Would you ever want to live in a big city, like New York or Chicago? I live in NYC and love it What about a big city sounds appealing to you? Everything!!! I’d never live anywhere else. Do you wish you had more money to do the things you want to do? Yes. Do you prefer college-ruled or wide-ruled? college ruled Pencils or pens? Pens. Favorite ink pen color? any What are you craving right now? Nothing Do you have a sweet tooth? Sometimes Do you need to lose weight? No. Do you need to gain weight? Yes. Who is your favorite Lisa Frank character? No favorite Have you ever won a prize at the age guessing booth? Never tried.

What’s your favorite movie that you remember seeing in the theater? Way too many. What was the name of your very first imaginary friend? Matt Do you know anyone who has ten cats? No. Have you ever had a cat? No. Have you ever had a dog? Yes Have you ever any other kind of animal? Fish, hamsters, parakeets, and guinea pigs Have you ever had a pet rock? No Which Olympic sport would you most like to be a pro in? Have you ever played this sport? Figure skating because I am a retired figure skater What were you voted in the senior class polls? I was home schooled Who was your favorite teacher in high school? N/A Do you own a bobblehead? No What’s on your desk? my computer Do you love someone who treats you like a piece of shit? No. Isn’t loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way horrible? Yes What’s your favorite DIY Halloween costume that you’ve seen? I always DIY my costumes. This year I’m doing Flatfoot the Pirate from Impractical Jokers What is your favorite gender-neutral name? Taylor. Do you want to give your kids common names or unique names? A mixture I guess What is your favorite type of braid? No favorite What is your favorite spice? None Favorite Spice Girl? Baby Spice. Favorite Cheetah Girl? I wasn’t a fan at all. Backstreet Boys or *N Sync? Ok...I love BSB. Always will. But of course after meeting Joey Fatone in June, I have to like *NSYNC too HAHA Were you a boy band fan? Yep. What decade were you born in? 80′s baby!!! What is your favorite coffee shop? Any independent ones in Manhattan and of course, Dunkin. What is your favorite tattoo that you’ve seen? None What is something you have too many of? Pens LOL What collection are you thinking of starting? None Do you collect anything now? If so, what? No When was the last time you painted something? 2005, senior year of college Do you have any disabilities? No. Do you have any unique or hidden talents? I’m a former figure skater Do people call you gifted? Sometimes I guess. Do people call you unique? Yes. Get called that a lot Do you get bullied? Not as much but I have in the past Do you own a dreamcatcher? I think so What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? None When was the last time you went to Michael’s? Ages ago. I gotta go back Do you knit or crochet? No. Do you enter craft projects in your county’s fair? No. What modes of transportation do you use? subway What is your least favorite chore? All HAHA What is the best gift you have ever given someone? I think the 2 sets of bow ties I sent Murr in May What is the best gift you have ever received? Phone call from John Schneider still tops everything. And also Murr just wishing me a Happy Birthday Have you ever made a decision that you regret? Yes Do you make your own greeting cards? No. What color feather boas do you own? None. Do you use colored hangers? Yes. Do you organize your clothes by color? No. What time does your alarm go off in the morning? 9am. What was your favorite toy as a child? My NKOTB dolls What do you want to name your first child? Salvatore James List ten favorite girls names. No List ten favorite boys names. No What season do you want to get married in? Whatever Is your Pinterest cluttered? I don’t even use it Are you a trendsetter? Not even close Do you want to be a trendsetter? Hell no. I hate trends What was the last great book you read? Awakened by Murr Are you a free spirit? Yes Has anyone called you a free spirit? Yes Do you get more compliments or insults? Compliments Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. All jealous bitches What is your favorite insect? None. What bugs scare you? All of them. What was your favorite vacation? Washington DC Who picked your name, your mom or your dad? Mom What is your first and middle name? I ain’t telling What were some other names your parents were considering when they had you? None What are your siblings’ names? Only child!! Do you own any Lularoe leggings? Nope. What was the last thing you bought online? movie tickets Do you enjoy public speaking? I don’t hate it.

#surveys

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