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#I’m not engaging with you anymore anon
blindmagdalena · 2 months
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Im very sorry for your loss 💔 sending love and peace to you and your spouse
thank you so much, darling. and thank you to everyone who’s been sending their love and kindness! i can’t tell you all how much i appreciate the support. this is one of the sweetest communities i’ve ever been a part of, and i’m so excited for s4 and all the stories we’re going to share. 🖤🖤🖤
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sailor-aviator · 5 months
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Y’all get real bold when you can hide behind the anonymous feature.
Too much of a coward to say it to me with your name visible?
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dancingisdangerouss · 2 years
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got my first commit die comment the other day ✌️🤪🤪
people going wild condemning grabber simps and we are just minding our own business liiikeee--
Aww I’m so sorry! It still baffles me that people think it’s okay to tell other people to kill themselves for liking a fictional character.
I don’t know how many more ways I can make my content clearer than:
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notjustjavierpena · 2 months
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drabble idea - javi and reader at some family/friends party before the kids, maybe engaged already and reader is holding a cousins baby or something. Javi isn’t with her and when he enters the room he’s awestruck. He already knew he wanted kids with her and a family but just seeing her bouncing the baby while laughing at something someone is saying just completely takes his breath away.
Baby (Drabble)
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost
A/N: This is so incredibly adorable, and of course, I will make this come true for you, Anon. I hope you enjoy 💖🫶
Summary: Javier spots you at a party with a baby in your arms. Suddenly, he knows what he wants.
Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader/You (No y/n)
Tags: Tooth-rotting fluff, baby fever, lovelovelove.
Word count: 1k
Baby
Amidst the lively chatter of a family gathering, Javier looks for you in the living room after having had a beer with his father outside on the terrace.
He passes by several tías who pinch his cheeks and compliment his choice of shirt to which he gives you the credit. They call him handsome, and he charms them back as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“No wonder you ended up with such a catch, Javi,” one of them says, referring to you. She nods in your direction but he still cannot see you for all the people having gathered in the tiny house, can’t hear your voice either in between bursts of laughter and screen doors opening and closing. 
He starts to make his way in your direction, craving your gentle touch when he starts to feel overwhelmed by these kinds of things. On his way, he ruffles the hair of one of his nephews who shows him a stack of colorful football cards. 
“Very cool,” he says genuinely as he looks over the boy’s shoulder. He hasn’t been home in so long that he isn’t up to date with the local team anymore, otherwise he would have mentioned that. 
“I’m only missing a few of my favorite team,” his nephew replies excitedly and it earns him another hair ruffle. Javier continues through the crowd afterward. 
There you are, he thinks to himself, and just when he is about to approach you, all the wind is knocked out of him because you are in the middle of a conversation, laughing at something that is being said, and you have Sofía, his cousin’s daughter, on your hip. 
He stops in his tracks, freezing to the spot to watch you. At that moment, he knows that he wants to build a family with you. It becomes so clear as he observes you naturally talk to the baby on your arm, smiling widely down at her only to giggle when you receive a grin right back. He catches a glimpse of the future and the incredible mother you could be and on top of that, the incredible mother that he wants to make you. 
It isn’t that he has never had the thought of starting a family with you before but seeing you navigate having a child in your arms so effortlessly makes him grasp how real and possible it is that it’ll one day be his child you are holding.
A few children run past him, shouting loudly as they chase each other and the noise pulls him out of his trance. All the other grownups have faded into the background, and it seems that his brain can only think of kids, bedtime stories, coloring books, and parent-teacher conferences. His head swims.
Even more so when the noise also makes you look up and catch his eye. You smile at him and it tugs at something in his chest. He needs to be close to you, taking longer steps than normal to get to you quicker.
“Hello fiancée,” he says when he approaches and kisses you softly. You say hello back but seem busy staring down at the baby in your arms. He turns his attention to the little bundle of joy, reaching out to twist the soft hairs on top of her head until it is standing up in a spiral, “Y hola a tí, Sofía, ¿Cómo estás? (And hello to you, Sofía. How are you?)” 
Sofía gurgles at getting further attention. She swings her little fists. 
“Your cousin just asked me if I could take her for a moment,” you explain with a shy smile, bouncing Sofía on your hip. She smiles widely up at you, squealing with delight as you make a face at her, “And you are so cute, aren’t you? Oh, look at her little tuft of hair.”
Javier adores you. He watches Sofía reach out for your earring, trying to yank on it and you grab her little hand but never once look irritated. Instead, you let her hold onto your fingers instead and say something gentle again. 
“We should make one,” he announces quietly so only you can hear it, leaning closer to you to keep the conversation private. You look up immediately but still tickle at Sofía’s tiny palm. 
“A baby?” You ask with wide eyes. It’s a little louder than you intended, and a few heads turn to look at you. You lower your voice, clearing your throat at first, “A baby?”
“Sí, mi amor (yes, my love),” he snakes an arm around your back to rest his hand on your hip, “A dozen of them actually.”
“We’re getting married next year,” you tut, shaking your head as if he is being ridiculous, “I’m not looking like someone who swallowed a soccer ball in my wedding dress.”
“You could wear an old football jersey and I would still marry you,” he kisses the side of your head, “¿Pero qué no (but why not)?” 
“One thing at a time,” you say with a nervous chuckle. Then you shift Sofía in your arms, “Can you take her? I am so damn thirsty.”
“Sure, bring her here,” he holds out his arms, “C’mere, Princesa (princess).”
The transfer is so smooth that one would think you have done it before. He gets a tiny hand in his face, Sofía feeling his cheek. 
“Be right back,” you say with a sweet smile, “Both of you.”
One thing at a time, you said. However, with the way you turn back to watch him with Sofía in his arms as you head for the drinks table, he knows that this is what you want too.
.
.
.
FOLLOW @notjustjavierpena-fics AND TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS 💖❤️💖❤️
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sprout-fics · 10 months
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dunno if imissed thurs thots bc time zone is an arse but i pilled an allnighter and needed some smit to keep going bc coffeee aint doing it job anymore so heres a copy paste of my idea from when i was actuallyawake
hallo! so taking a page from the spider verse movie, what if reader did yell out a safeword? there is an “aftercare for a red moment” hole in the fic community (or im just blinded by the algorithm who knows)
So this is a really interesting concept, and also a good way to discuss proper sex practices, so thank you anon!
For those unaware, the color system (Green, yellow, red) is typically associated with BDSM practices. Green is all clear, yellow is slow down/change tactics, and red is full stop, change into aftercare mode. However this system is not exclusively designed for kink related practices, it can be a useful tool for even vanilla sex. Please remember to always check in with your partners and obtain enthusiastic consent before engaging in sexual activities. I am not an expert in this area, so please remember to do your own independent research if you are curious about this topic.
(Warning: Uncomfortable sexual scenarios and use of safe words, please read at your own discretion)
The Color Red
(TF 141 reacting to you using a safe word during sex)
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Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish
You’re not really sure what does it, but something inside you drops abruptly, without warning as Soap’s hand wraps around your throat. 
There’s not even any pressure, just a heavy grasp that circles under your jaw but it’s enough to make something in you rise in panic, blood chilling and breath seizing inside your chest
He’s still hunches over you, your legs wrapped around his hips, brow scrunched in pleasure, voice dragging as he tries to angle himself just right to graze against the soft spongy part of you he knows will make you go boneless in his arms
Whatever pleasure was tightening low across your hips dies as a cold, fearful wash of dread takes its place, the world spinning as you drop fast.
“Red.” You croak, voice trembling, abruptly, entire body going rigid with panic.
It’s over in an instant. Soap knows what the word means, is trained to respond at the first instinct of discomfort, and within a blink his hand is gone, his weight off of you
You curl over onto your side, eyes wide and shoulders trembling, wetness still on the inside of your thighs but air rising sharply as hyperventilation threatens to take over
Soap’s weight is off the bed, giving you space, but when he notices your breathing he kneels beside you at once, eyes brimming with worry
“Hen, sweetheart, it’s alright.” He coos softly, words echoing as a steady stream, a reminder to his nearby presence. “You’re safe, we’re done. Breathe for me, You’re alright.”
“Johnny.” You gasp, reaching for him, and he obliges instantly, maneuvering you both so he sits against the headboard and puts your head into his lap, positioning a pillow underneath it. 
“I’m here.” He reminds you, a hand stroking along your shoulder in soothing circles as you try to control your breathing, listening to him breathe alongside you. Deep inhale, hold for 4, out for 7. Repeat.
“What do you need, hen?” He asks after a few minutes, after the panic has faded to a dull bite, once you stop shuddering and instead curl into an exhausted heap at his side.
You sigh out a shuddering exhale, feel his thumb graze across the top of your shoulder. Gentle, patient, devoted.
“You, Johnny.” You tell him at last. “Just you.”
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Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick
“Red.”
You gasp it out unexpectedly in Gaz’s bed, hands secured above your head as he bends over you, three fingers curling inside you, smug smile plastered over his face as he tries to wring another orgasm from you despite you telling him you can’t, and him finding another, another anyways
Now, however, it’s finally too much, and when he presses just right the sensation it summons is less pleasurable and more aching, stretching an overworn muscle that leaves something twisting unpleasantly inside you
“Oh shit, doll.” He gasps at the word, and slowly withdraws his fingers to not cause you additional discomfort. You whine, but the sound catches in your throat, pleading and tender. “I’m sorry, shh, take a breath for me.”
He reaches up above you, pulls at the rope and it comes loose easily, allows your hands to sink into the pillows and reduces the strain on your shoulders. 
“Hey, hey, I got you.” He murmurs as you shudder, face contorting at the unpleasant ache inside you
He drags you into his arms, and you don’t complain at all, curling into his steady frame as he tucks you against his chest
“You did good.” He tells you at once, reassuring, gentle. “Promise you did good. Just take your time.”
You nuzzle against the coarse, curly hair of his chest, feel him stroke a hand against your back as the ache inside you dies to a low murmur
“I’m okay.” You tell him after a few minutes, taking all the time you need to fully relax into his embrace “It just…it was so much.”
Kyle exhales then, a breath you didn’t realize had been holding. His form goes a little lax against you, relieved by your words
“I’m sorry, doll.” He tells you at once. “I should have stopped sooner.”
You shake your head a little, remind him gently “That’s what the colors are for. I’m alright, just-” and you wince. “Tender.”
You feel him smile into your hair, mouth tugging just an inch, his body warm, solid, reaffirming against yours
“We can fix that.” He tells you softly. “How about I run you a bath and get you cleaned up, hmm?”
You nod, pause, and then crane your head up to plant a kiss against his lips
“Sounds wonderful.”
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Simon 'Ghost' Riley
Sex with Simon can usually be an intense, emotional affair, an experience where you try and carve space within each other through touch, seeking a balm to the brokenness, soothing to the fear and hurt 
Yet there are also times when you both just need release
Which is where you are now, face down, his hands hauling yours behind your back, hips slapping against your pelvis with a rapid, brutal intensity that’s going to leave you pleasantly sore for days
His voice is a grinding, rumbling presence that doesn’t allow you to drift entirely off, forcing you back into the presence of him. A hand tangles in your hair, presses you down into the sheets as he growls lewd, filthy praise down at you
Yet there’s a hint of malice to it, and normally you’d welcome it, send it right back to him, teeth bared and spirit a bright flame that burns against his darkness
Now, however, each word seems to puncture through you, as he hisses ‘Slut. Pretty little whore.’ down at you
You want to take it, want it to feed the coiling need as he buries himself inside you, but tonight it sounds almost like Simon means it.
It hurts.
It forces you to drop so fast it gives you whiplash, mind reeling and you have to remind yourself to say the word that bleeds across your tongue.
“Red.”
Simon stops instantly, removes his hand from your hair like he’s been burned.
You barely even notice, caught in your own turmoil of thoughts, trying to find your way out of the labyrinth. You don’t even notice as he pulls out from you, but the sudden emptiness only feeds the fall, makes a sob curl in your throat as you try and fail to swallow it down
He’s gone from the bed, you notice, and if anything it makes you panic more.
“S-Simon.” He try, voice wavering, and as if you’ve summoned him he appears back at your side, his voice gentler now but strained, guilty
“Here, pet.” A hand against your spine, a feathering touch given only as a mild offering before you give him permission to touch you, to which you gasp “Please.”
The touch becomes firmer, fingers pulling at the rigidness coiled in your frame, and after a moment there’s the cool touch of a washcloth that wipes the sweat from your skin.
“Y-you didn’t mean it, did you?” You try at last, not moving yet, knowing he’d only hush you back into stillness, make sure you didn’t push yourself too fast too soon
Simon takes a moment to process, realization washing over him at why you invoked your color.
“No, never.” He tells you, voice a little distant, and you know the faint unhappiness that colors his own voice isn’t for you but for him, tearing at himself for causing you hurt
You take care of him too, knot your fingers between his in tender reassurance, reminding him that even as he hovers at your side, you stay beside him too
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Captain John Price
You’re trying to soldier through it, the pain that wraps around your thigh as he hauls it over his shoulder, braces it on the broad planes of his frame
Your hands are fisted in the sheets, chest heaving as Price forces his tongue into your cunt, fingers digging red marks into your opposite leg. There’s pleasure coiling n your core with every stripe of his tongue, dragging whimpering moans from your throat
It’s soured, however, by the wrapping on your thigh, the stitched bullet hole radiating pain. The sharp ache drowns any potential pleasure that rises inside you and you try to grit your teeth against it, force it down in pursuit of the warmth of price’s breath against your folds
You can’t. You can’t do it, not with tears beginning to well in your eyes and the sounds coming from transitioning into whimpers of pain. 
“John.” You manage, strained, and for a moment Price is so absorbed in his task he almost doesn’t hear you. “J-John, red. Red.”
Price’s head shoots up, his ears attuned to that word specifically, and when he does you see slick coating his chin, his eyes flickering brightly in worry.
A sob bursts from your chest at the sight, dragging with pain, eyes hot and wet as you press a hand to the red blossoming bandage. 
He surmises the situation quickly, and instantly he’s rising off you, nearly vanishing from you entirely, giving you a bit of space before sitting back down beside you and gently bending your leg onto his lap
“Shh, it’s alright love.” He reassures you, a hand reaching up to stroke at your sweaty forehead, against your brow bunched in worry. “I’ve got you, you’re alright.”
“I’m sorry.” You blurt out even as his fingers knead into your calf. “I didn’t- it hurts.”
“Never apologize for using your colors.” The captain tells you sternly, and he holds your eyes on him, levying you with a disciplining stare that ensures your compliance. You nod, sniffling, and it makes some of the grimness melt from his eyes, tendered with affection
“Where are your pain meds?” He asks then, a hand gently tracing over the bloodied bandage, and you nod to the bedside drawer.
He nods absently, one hand still braced on your leg, the other reaching past you to withdraw the bottle from the assembly of items there
“You’re going to take these.” He tells you without question, drawing your gaze back to him once more. “We’ll get you cleaned up, and then get something warm in your stomach so they go down sunny, yes?”
You sniffle and nod at him, still feeling a little embarrassed, still in pain. Yet it’s softer now with his touch as his eyes turn to you fondly.
“Might even get you some hair of the dog for good measure.” He offers, and it at last summons a shy but warm smile from you
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Again, if your partner every signals they are uncomfortable during sex, stop, talk, and proceed as needed. If anyone ever disrespects you signaling you are uncomfortable or blatantly ignores your safeword, do not engage with them further. Stay safe, stay sane, and stay consensual
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harmonysanreads · 9 months
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giving many kisses to 🕯️anon for their neuvillette masterpiece xx If 🕯️anon has anymore thoughts on yan!neuvillette, I’m begging for more. please allow me to add my own brainrots in the conversation <3
Imagine if neuvillette put on trial someone from a foreign nation. Maybe a sumeru scholar traveling to fontaine for their thesis or a liyuean opera trope performer recently gifted a trip to fontaine. someone deeply engrained with their nation’s culture.
Only to be imprisoned under false charges all under neuvillette’s direction. Once under false charges, they’ll never be allowed to leave fontaine again, either imprisoned and under guard or in debt in neuvillette and reliant on his word to maintain their innocence.
Imagine being forced into a perpetual cycle of Fontaine’s latest fashion trends, their old thin silky robes being traded for layers and layers of billowy skirts. To engage in daily rigid suffocating etiquette every second rather than the causal and loose atmosphere of their home. Listening to fontaine’s ballet and opera rather than Nilou’s free spirited dancing or traditional Liyuean opera.
All the cultural whiplash and rigid etiquette of both neuvillette and the public watching their every move with no support, no family would break anyone.
Perhaps while they feel as if they are alone, burning the midnight oil to polish over a mistake neuvillette harshly critiqued earlier, they hum a little melody. Something reminiscent of their homeland, a lullaby passed down from parent to child. Humming turns into small sobs until their tune is a cohesion of broken choking and nostalgic memories, crumbling under the weight of neuvillette’s now very present shadow next to their desk.
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They say, home is where the heart is and you've never resonated with a sentence more in your life.
Before, the meaning of home used to be simple, mundane, something you wouldn't even consider that gravely. Home used to be the buzzing of the busy populace at the ports and streets, it used to be dishes dashed with spices of all kinds, it used to be the reassurance of familiar faces. These blurs of happenstances once made your heart flutter with solace, solace that home was at your fingertips. Now, they only torment you with regret for not cherishing them more — because as it is, humans only understand the value of something once that has been snatched away.
Your ears almost don't pick up the soothing hushes leaving Neuvillette's lips, his arms pressing you further in his embrace. Your tears stain his night-robe but he doesn't seem to mind. You allow it as well, your mind too broken to think, your body too numb to push and your being too desperate to let go of this gesture of affection. You should be furious at him for the things he's done, you should scream, kick, curse, hit —and he'd agree that you wouldn't be guilty of that. Normally, he'd take initiatives to harshly criticize this ungraceful behavior and then the lengthy programs to correct it and it'd go on and on til one of you broke (it's always you).
Even when Neuvillette initiates affection, it's never to actually comfort you. They're delivered as rewards because you followed his wishes. But at this night while the rest of Fontaine slumbers and you break, his arms feel secure for once. So you don't struggle and let him coo and hold you tight, you wonder if he adjusts his intentions precisely because you offer no resistance.
Your words sink in his clothes, only a ‘I want to go home’ escapes with enough coherence for it to catch the judge's attention. He lifts your face up to meet his gaze, fingers brushing away stray tears.
“You are at home, this is your home now.” you expected the words to be plain and stern, but they come off as whispers as well. You would've known even if he didn't bother to say, because he's inscribed them in your heart time and time again and tonight, at last, you've accepted it.
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sturnioloshacker · 5 months
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fight reconciliation - a matt sturniolo short 
a/n: requested by anon; lowercase intended
cw: angst with a fluffy ending
summary: a heated fight between you and matt gets even more heated when the youngest gets involved until the oldest steps in to resolve everything
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tension hung thick and low in the air as matt and his girlfriend y/n engaged in a heated argument, where harsh words were exchanged, cutting deeper than they intended. matt, adding a bit more fuel to the fire, which was caused by his anger, lashed out at his girlfriend with hurtful remarks that left her stunned and heartbroken.
“matthew? do you really mean that?”, the poor girl whispered, unable to move an inch without collapsing in tears.
chris, unable to stand by any longer, clenched his fists, ready to intervene.
“matt, what is wrong with you? that’s your girlfriend, you idiot! you just broke your girl’s heart and you think i’m going to accept that?! well think again, buddy!” chris yells at his older brother who’s just standing there like nothing even happened. 
chris is about to swing at matt’s head when nick steps in between his two younger brothers, shoving them away from each other so that they’re on two different sides of the room. meanwhile, y/n is nowhere to be found. instead, she’s upstairs, crying her eyes out over her boyfriend’s hateful words that he had no remorse over. 
“guys, let’s cool off before things escalate.” nick demands.
the two brothers go their separate ways, but not before chris attempts to swing at matt again, hoping to knock some sense into his older brother’s brain. nick screams in fear and firmly grips chris’s fist with his hand, pushing him back onto the couch, letting matt go upstairs.
“this isn’t the way to solve things around here! chris, you stay here. matt, you better go and find your girl and apologise to her for your words because i’m not losing my best friend because of you, you fucking asshole!” nick yells to the two of them.
matt trudges upstairs, his head hanging down in shame. he finally came to the realisation that he potentially lose the love of his life and the love and support of his older brother. knocking on every door of the house, matt tries to find y/n. hearing a broken sob from his room, he heads upstairs and knocks on the door.
“come in, nick.” she softly says through sniffles. 
matt walks in and y/n immediately turns away from him. 
“oh, it’s you. i thought you said you don’t love me anymore and that you don’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore.”
“sweetheart, i’m so fucking sorry, okay? it was in the heat of the moment. i don’t even know why we were arguing in the first place. i didn’t mean for those words to leave my mouth. it was stupid of me and i’m so, so, so fucking sorry. i understand if you need some space and some time to think so i’ll leave you alone.” matt explains, tears threatening to fall from his bright blue eyes.
“matt, wait. i forgive you. now please stay, i need you.”
“oh thank god, cause i need you too.”
the two lovers both wrap up in each other’s arms, tears falling down their cheeks and onto their shirts. they stay like this for a while before matt cups y/n’s cheeks and bringing her in for a sweet, loving and tender kiss that sends the girl into more tears. the kiss lasts for a good while as they make up, matt’s arms wrapped around his girl’s waist and y/n’s arms wrapped around the boy’s neck, fingers dancing through his luscious locks.
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florence-nomachine · 3 months
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Howdy , I have An idea ♥️
Afab reader in their late 20's ,You work in Freddy fazbear and William is your boss , after closing hours It's only you and him , and you talk about how much you love children and wanna have one in the future. I think William is a generous boss enough to help ya! ✌️Keep written godine we love you
A/N: Hi Anon, thanks for being so patient with this ask, I’ve been in a bit of an informal hiatus… Enjoy!  :) 
Warning: Obvious themes of breeding + pregnancy. Minors DNI.
“So, let me get this straight. You get engaged to a guy, start planning a wedding, and then he suddenly changed his mind and decides that he doesn’t want children anymore? What an asshole,”
“Yup,” you sighed sadly, sweeping up the final few bits of dirt off of the floor. Your ex had wasted your time and money, almost extinguishing your idea of having a child entirely. “His loss. I think I’d make a great mom, I love kids!”
“I can tell,” William said lazily, and you couldn’t place the exact emotion in his voice. It was almost telling, yet quietly alluring. You didn’t want to think about it too hard, though, considering he was your boss and things may be considered inappropriate.
You were interrupted from your thoughts when he cleared his throat.
“Forgive me if this is too forward, but…I’d be more than happy to give you one,”
“What?” you gasped, but you couldn’t deny the tingling feeling in your loins.
“What can I say? I’m a generous guy. I hate to see you so down,” he shrugged, cocking his head at you, clearing speed running through a flurry of emotions.
You couldn’t have fallen into his arms any quicker, and he wasted no time in guiding you to his office, his lips greedily devouring your own as his hands roamed your body. He lay you flat atop his desk, taking charge as he began to unbutton your shirt, exposing your chest and stomach. 
Gently, he ran his fingers over your skin, a smirk appearing on either side of his lips.
“I’m gonna fill you up real good, sweetheart,” he lulled, beginning to palm himself through his pants. 
“This belly…All swollen for me…I’m gonna take such good care of you…” he whispered, pulling his cock out from the zipper of his pants. You glanced down, eyes wide as you took in the sight of him. He was primed and ready to go, cock leaking a little bit of precum as he lazily jerked himself off.
“Fuck me, Mr Afton,” you begged. “Give me your baby,”
You needn’t tell him twice as he pushed himself into you, cock slowly stretching your walls apart. The ache was unlike one you’d ever felt before, body desperate and needy to reach that oh so sacred moment of fertilisation. He groaned, and you clamped a hand down over your mouth as he began to fuck you. William didn’t take too kindly to this, and took the hand in his own, removing it from your lips.
“I wanna hear your pretty moans, sweetheart,” he insisted, and you nodded, eyes rolling to the back of your skull at the rhythmic sensation of the man’s hips drilling against your own. William was hungry; groping at your nipples and gripping tightly on your hips as he held you in place, watching your thighs tremble as you became closer to your own orgasm.
“Shit,” he growled. “It’s been a while. I’m not gonna last any longer, love. You want me to fill you up, hm?”
You nodded, bottom lip clenched between your teeth.
“Say it, baby,” he said breathlessly. “Say how much you want me to knock you up, to make you a Mommy once and for all…”
“I want you to cum in me,” you begged. “Fill me up, Daddy…”
The words sent him over the edge, and the last thing you saw was white; his heavy load painting your insides as your cunt greedily took him in, pulsing and twitching as he writhed in you, riding off his high. As of this moment, you belonged to him.
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tkaulitzlvr · 7 months
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Can I please request tom overworking a bit and distancing himself from his girlfriend (reader) and then she kind of goes to him while he's busy and has a breakdown and its comfort and fluff?
TIRED - T. KAULITZ
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synopsis: tom has been more busy than usual with the band, not realising that by doing this, he has distanced himself from you. when you try talk to him, he finally breaks down.
content: fluff.
a/n: i wasn’t sure if u wanted tom or reader to have the breakdown, but i assumed tom, if u meant the reader i’m so sorry anon, but nonetheless thank you so much for the request!!
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“hey my love, how was work?” i ask as tom trudges through the door, closing it with a loud thud. i don’t know why i bother asking him, i know that i’ll get minimal response, exactly as i have the past couple of weeks. yet he has acted like everything is fine, brushing me off when i ask what’s going on, so i have given up trying, slowly coming to the conclusion that it is something to do with me. perhaps he is becoming tired of me, and doesn’t want to be with me anymore - and that thought completely terrifies me. so i stay quiet, deciding that being with a distant tom who doesn’t feel the same about me is better than losing him altogether.
“fine.” he mutters, walking into the living room and seeing me sat on the couch, bending down to place a quick kiss on my forehead before leaving the room, going god knows where. this had become routine now - he would briefly let me know he was home, either giving me a quick hug or kissing me on my forehead, instead of the extreme levels of affection he would usually show. that was how my suspicions started. normally, he would come home, showering me with kisses, touching me in some way whilst letting me know how his day was, then ask how mine was, listening intently to every word that i would say. but, that all came to an end as i would be lucky to get a kiss on the lips before he would go to the kitchen or straight to bed, the most affection i receive being when he loosely wraps his arm around my waist whilst he sleeps every night.
i exit the living room, looking for tom and, staying true to that routine, i find him laid down in bed, his eyes empty and tired as he stares at the ceiling, his hoodie now off as he lays in some oversized basketball shorts.
he is aware of my presence, yet stays silent, refusing to even look at me as i stand in the door frame, watching him intently, wondering what went wrong, or, what i had done wrong to make him fall out of love with me - my mind now set on that idea as it is the only logical explanation it can come up with for his stand-offishness.
“do you still love me?” i speak into the silence, tom’s head shooting up as i say the words, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
“what? of course i love you. why would you think that i don’t?” his voice is calm, laced with bewilderment, clearly wondering how i could ask such a question.
i can tell that he is sincere, meaning everything that he says, making me doubt my initial reasoning for his distance as i begin to feel a little stupid for thinking that he had fallen out of love with me. though the confirmation that i hadn’t done anything wrong only puzzled me more, making tom’s coldness towards me even more of a mystery.
i realise that i have been quiet for a little too long, tom’s eyes still looking into mine, his head raised from the pillow as he awaits my answer. i shake my head, forcing a small smile. “nothing. it’s just me being paranoid, sorry.”
he tilts his head to the side, not convinced at all.
“you sure?” he asks, this being the longest conversation we had in days, tom never wanting to engage in anything, instead offering short, one word answers. he still seems distant, but i can tell that my question clearly came as a surprise, this reassuring me a little.
i nod my head, walking to the bed and climbing in beside him, a strange tension between us as we lay in silence.
“goodnight.” he mutters, draping his arm over my stomach, still remaining a little far from me instead of his whole body being against me as it usually would be, my mind searching for answers as i am left completely confused, nothing adding up. i try to shake it off, hearing tom’s breathing slow from behind me, indicating that he has fallen asleep as i try to do the same, knowing that i am determined to get something out of him, even if it is the smallest detail that would help me piece together why he has started to act like this - now able to rule out it being my fault.
the door opens and closes, slamming a little louder than it usually does as the noise sounds throughout the house. i expect tom to show his face, come into the living room and give me a small reminder of his affection, before trudging off again. but, much to my surprise, he doesn’t even do that, marching straight up the stairs as a frustrated huff escapes his mouth, his steps loud and exaggerated, telling me that whatever is going on in his life certainly isn’t getting any easier. he had never gotten this angry, always making sure he said hey, even if it was just for a second, but i didn’t even see his face this time, letting me know that he is much more upset than usual.
although i can’t ignore the slight pang of fear from within me as i walk up the stairs to talk to him, i stay strong, just about done with his unexplained distance, wanting to get to the bottom of it. i hear the sound of his guitar from our bedroom, the door fully shut as his cursing momentarily shouts over the melody. my hand reaches for the door, hesitating a little as it hovers over the wood, before pressing my knuckles against it a few times.
my fingers clasp around the handle, turning it and pulling the door open. tom looks up for a second, seeing me standing there, before turning his attention back to the guitar, roughly strumming the strings.
“you okay?” i softly ask, slightly hurt at his ignorance, but this is about him not me, so i brush it off, accepting it as a small burst of his frustration. whilst he shouldn’t take it out on me, i know that the last thing he needs is me scolding him.
“great.” he mutters sarcastically, not looking up from the guitar that rests on his lap as he continues to fiddle with the strings, groaning with frustration as he throws his head back, his jaw clenched. he notices me still standing by the door, rolling his eyes slightly, visibly irritated by my presence.
“do you need something?” he sighs, aggravation plastered on his face as he stares at me, eyes cold and strangely foreign, no care within them as it is suddenly obvious he wants nothing more than for me to leave him alone.
i am slightly hurt at his words, the harshness of them stinging my chest as my expression softens, eyes becoming glossy. i look to the floor, not liking the idea of him to see me become so easily upset from his outburst, wanting to appear stronger, but i know that my sadness is evident.
his face softens as he puts his guitar to the side of him on the bed, finally feeling guilty for taking out his frustration on me.
“god i’m sorry- i didn’t mean it like that.” he begins, his voice much softer than before.
my sadness soon turns to anger as i am now completely tired of the way he has treated me, not able to handle his coldness any longer.
“then how did you mean it tom? ‘cause these past few weeks all you’ve done is shut me out! i’ve asked you what’s wrong so many times, and you lie to me over and over again. can you please just talk to me? i’m tired of feeling like i’m fighting just to have a conversation with you.” i pour my heart out, noticing the way his expression falters, eyes darting around the room as tears begin to form a glassy blanket over them.
he looks down into his lap, playing with the material of his hoodie, bouncing his leg up and down against the floor, this something he does whenever he is anxious.
“well? you know i’m here for you, so why are you leaving me in the dark? this isn’t fair tom, i want to help you but you won’t let me in.” i continue, yet his eyes remain fixed on the floor, his body tensed up.
“i’m sorry.” he mumbles, his voice shaky as i soon realise that he is crying. his quiet sniffles escape his mouth after he has uttered those two words, his shoulders shaking as he sobs.
my heart clenches at the sight, wishing i could somehow take away his pain and make it my own, hating to see him upset. i rush over to him, sitting beside him on the bed and quickly pulling him into me as he sobs into my shoulder. his arms wrap around my back, clutching onto me so tightly it is hard to breathe, but right now, the only thing on my mind is comforting him, and i will do anything to be there for him.
“talk to me baby. what’s going on with you?” i whisper gently, my fingers playing with the end of his cornrows as his breathing speeds up, his tears falling onto my t-shirt.
he tries to speak, but his words are masked by his sobs, completely incoherent.
“shhh, just calm down first, we’ll talk once you’re settled, mhm?” i say, moving backwards so that i am laying flat against the bed, tom wrapping both arms around my waist as he continues to cry into my shoulder. my nails run up and down his back, this something i would do when he couldn’t sleep to relax him, but right now it seems to be working as his cries begin to slow, his breathing returning to it’s normal rate.
“you ready to talk?” i ask, looking downwards at him as he removes his head from my shoulder for the first time, his eyes red and bloodshot, lips curved into a slight frown.
he nods, sitting up a little, his arms still securely around my waist.
“it’s just- work has been so stressful. tour is coming up so soon, and rehearsals are just so tiring, and i keep fucking it up!” he sighs, his voice wavering as he comes to the end of his speech, taking a deep breath before continuing. “i don’t want to let the guys down, they’ve worked so hard and i’m just ruining it all. maybe i should just quit, i’m clearly not good-”
“woah, hey, slow down a little. you know none of that’s true. you’re the most talented person i know, stop doubting yourself. you’re human, you’re going to make mistakes. but that doesn’t mean you should stop doing what you love. you know that i’ll always believe in you.” i say, looking into his eyes as his thumb begins to move in small circles on my stomach.
“you’re just saying that ‘cause you’re my girlfriend and you have to.” he sighs.
“i’m saying this because i love you and i hate it when you doubt yourself so much. it should matter more coming from me, because i know you better than all of the people that doubt you.” i remind him, a little hurt at the fact that he thinks i’m lying.
“what if i fuck up and make us lose our rhythm? it’ll ruin an entire concert, and then it’s all on me.” he says, maintaining eye contact as i sigh, in complete disbelief of how someone so talented can have so little faith in their own ability.
“has that ever happened before?” i ask, already knowing the answer, needing to hear him admit it.
he shakes his head slowly.
“exactly. so what’s overworking yourself and getting stressed out going to achieve? you’re only gonna make it worse. you need to take a break.” i reply, seeing the way that he is tearing himself apart, hating himself for making the smallest of mistakes. “besides, i think i deserve to have you to myself for a couple days. i’ve missed you a lot you know.”
a small smile tugs on his lips as he reaches upwards, planting a gentle kiss on my lips. pulling back to rest his forehead against mine, one hand cupping my cheek.
“you’re right schatz.” he begins. “i’m really sorry for how distant i’ve been. none of this is your fault, i just shut myself off and that isn’t fair on you.”
he kisses my lips again, tightening his hold on me before moving back, a soft smile on his face as he pulls me onto his lap, his arms securely around my waist.
“this weekend…” he trains off, a suggestive grin playing on his lips as he gives my waist a gentle squeeze. “just me and you. we’ll do whatever you want. how’s that sound?”
“anything?” i tease, looking into his eyes playfully as he lets out a small laugh.
“anything.” he repeats, seeing the way my face lights up in excitement. “but…i want just one thing in return.”
he says the last part slowly, and the way his eyes narrow, a playful look of lust present within them, i know exactly what he means, hitting his arm and shaking my head, glad to finally have my boyfriend back, loving every part of him - even the sex obsessed, overly horny side, not wanting to trade any of it for the world.
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requests are open! keep sending them in!!
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steddieunderdogfics · 3 months
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what is even the point of this page if ur going to feature some of the most popular authors in the fandom that have stories with 200k hits. change your name or actually rec underdogs
I rec fics that I’m given! If you know of an amazing author who isn’t getting attention, then rec them!!! Want to see an author for writers Wednesday? Then nominate them!!!
There are about 60 asks from the other day that I’m still working through plus theme weekend and next challenge Monday! Hopefully there’s a lot of variety coming up.
But since you brought this up… I’m not responding to asks like this anymore. Ever. They’re getting deleted immediately and I refuse to engage with more negative anons unless you have an actual concern.
Managing this page takes a lot as is, plus I work a full time job and have my own stories to write (which for the record, I will never rec my own work due to bias, even if it’s recommended by others) so I’m not reading as much as I would like. Most of my latest reads have been recs from this page!
So yes, we’ve gotten a lot of popular fics but an underdog means something different to everyone. If the same handful of people are reccing fics, then you’re probably going to see common names.
Bottom line, if you’re not willing to rec fics yourself, then fuck off with the negativity.
Thanks for the “support” though.
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specialagentlokitty · 2 months
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Eggsy x reader - crush at first sight
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Hello! Could I request an Eggsy from Kingsman x reader with this dialogue "You come here often?" "Well, I work here. So I think I would have to say yes"?Only if you want to of course! 😄 - Anon💜
Walking down the hallways, you glanced at your watch as you picked up your pace a little bit to try and make it in time for your meeting.
You were running late as it was, and you didn’t want to be anymore late than necessary.
You turned the corner, all but crashing into somebody who was heading in the same direction and he grabbed your arms, spinning you around so you landed on him.
He let out a grunt of pain as he hit the floor, and you rolled off him, standing up as you held out your hand to him.
“I’m terribly sorry!”
The man grinned at you a little bit, and he took your hand to stand up, brushing down his suit.
He wore a cocky smirk on his face as he glanced you up and down.
“Are you lost?”
“Nope, I know exactly where I’m going.”
You offered him a smile and carried on your path, and he jogged after you, falling in line with your steps.
“What’s your name?”
“Need to know basis.”
“Okay, what if I told you mine?”
You glanced at the man next to you, you recognised him immediately, he was the recruit your uncle had brought in not long ago.
“You come here often?”
You glanced at him as you stopped outside the door you needed, and you smirked a little, looking him up and down like he had done to you.
“Well, I work here. So I think I would have to say yes.”
With that, you pushed open the door and walked inside, and he trailed behind you.
“I see you finally met Eggsy.” Merlin said.
You nodded, walking over to stand next to him.
Merlin placed his hand on your shoulder, handing you a paper file.
“This is of the upmost importance, we cannot leave any digital trace, will you read this while I get Eggsy up to date on everything?” He asked.
You looked up at him, smiling softly.
“Of course.”
You sat down, opening the file to go through everything that had been collected and put together for you.
You set the file down, picking up a few of the photos of the targets you had been given.
You could hear Merlin and Eggsy talking by the doorway, having a hushed conversation and the whole time Eggsy’s eyes were on you.
You heard the sound of somebody being smacked, and a yelp of pain.
“If you know what’s good for you Eggsy I know suggest that you stop looking at (Y/N) like that.”
“Like what?! I wasn’t looking at her any way!” Eggsy complained.
Merlin walked over, taking a seat next to you, picking up one of the photos.
“It will be a simple recon mission, you are not to engage, do you understand me?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“Look at me.”
You turned to Merlin, and he furrowed his brows a little bit.
“Promise me you will not engage the target.”
“I promise.”
He nodded his head.
“You’ll be working with Eggsy.”
Eggsy walked over, taking the file he was handed so he could go through it as well.
You spent the next hour talking about plans of action, what to do in an emergency, if you’ve been made as agents.
You covered every possible worst case scenario and finally you stood up.
“Eggsy get ready, meet me in an hour.”
“Wait, I thought we took orders from Merlin?”
“Aw how cute you’re so stupid.”
You walked across the room to grab Merlin’s laptop and walked back over with it, setting it down.
“(Y/N) outranks you by many years Eggsy.”
“Seriously? Aren’t we the same age?”
“You could call it the family business.” You shrugged.
You went to grab your travel bag, and you made your way back to the room to wait for the other agent who came through not long later.
He set his bag next to yours and stood in front of you and Merlin.
“Be safe, both of you.”
“We will.” You both said.
You turned around to check your bag over once more.
“Oh, and Eggsy?”
The man hummed a little bit.
“If you try make a move on my daughter I will know and it will end badly for you.”
“Daughter?!”
You laughed loudly, walking over to Merlin and you wrapped him in a hug.
“Love you dad, thanks for that. I’m going to put up with this now.”
“Love you too, and I know, it’s punishment for putting salt in my tea last week. Now go, before you miss your train.”
You nodded, grabbing your bag as you walked into the hallway and Eggsy was already running after you asking as many questions as he possible could
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thehighladywrites · 3 months
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I had to come off of anon to say this bc I’m so angry so for every hateful anon out there here’s what CANONICALLY happened between Eris and Mor as far as we know in a little bulleted list so everyone can understand-
-Eris and Mor are engaged to be married (Mor is unwilling we have no idea if Eris wanted/didn’t want the marriage)
-Mor not wanting this marriage CONSENSUALLY sleeps with Cassian to get rid of her virginity so Eris calls of the marriage bc “she holds no value to him anymore” shitty thing to say but again it’s stated that Eris has to put on a mask in his court (kinda like someone else we know *cough* Rhysand *cough*)
-Keir finds out Mor did this and KEIR drives the stake into her stomach/womb saying that she was Eris’s problem
-Eris sees her bleeding with a group of soldiers at the border and leaves her there claiming that they can’t touch her
-We get a small snippet of what happened in ACOFAS from MOR’S Pov
Here are some quotes for that:
-“Don’t touch her.” Those steps stopped. It was not a warning to protect her. Defend her.
“No one touches her,” he said. Eris. “The moment we do, she’s our responsibility.”
- “I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.”
He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.”
Also about the situation in ACOWAR (quotes from Eris from Feyre’s Pov)
-Eris looked between them, smiling faintly. Secretly. As if he knew something that Azriel didn’t. “I wouldn’t have touched you,” he said to Mor, who blanched again. “But when you fucked that other bastard—” A snarl ripped from Rhys’s throat at that. And my own. “I knew why you did it.” Again that secret smile that had Mor shrinking. Shrinking. “So I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms.”
“And what happened next,” Azriel growled.
A shadow crossed Eris’s face. “There are few things I regret. That is one of them. But … perhaps one day, now that we are allies, I shall tell you why. What it cost me.”
-So basically none of the IC was there to witness what actually happened. Azriel rescued Mor from autumn a few days later, and that’s all we know about the situation.
Eris never RAPED anyone, he shouldn’t have left Mor in the woods, but my literary analysis (this is just my opinion) is that if Eris would have helped Mor she would’ve had to have married him and been trapped in Autumn. I’m not saying what Eris did is excusable-it was awful but
THIS IS THE CANONICAL EVIDENCE WE HAVE OF THE SITUATION
could Eris have alerted Tamlin or Rhys or someone? yes but it’s heavily implied throughout the series that Eris has to play by the rules of his court and if we can all forgive Rhys for that then I don’t see why Eris can’t be extended the same courtesy.
Anyway I’m sorry this is long but I feel like it needed to be said because there’s so much hate going around and I’m not here for it so I’m bringing in the receipts❤️
I hope you have a great day love and keep writing professor Eris bc I know I go feral for it ❤️‍🔥
phoenix you’re so right, i literally have nothing else to add, this is perfection thank you babes!!
also professor eris is coming out tomorrow 👀👀
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lightlycareless · 3 months
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What would say would be the easiest and fastest way to fluster Naoya? I was reading your work on the one with having an s/o who’s to shy to ask for anything(it was something along those lines but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about :D) and he was such a tease so I’m curious to how Y/N could get her revenge lol
Hello!!
For anyone wondering btw, this is the ask anon was referring to ❤️
Aww this was kinda cute ngl but it also got me thinking, how do you even get back to someone as Naoya??? that man is like, idk, prank proof and such? Like I feel you'd need to go to extremes in order to really hit him where it hurts, but even then...
Luckily, there is one way :> and it's all detailed right below hehe.
Warnings: none. it's fluff. Naoya is slightly miserable, good. shouldn't mess with his wife that much.
Happy reading!
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So, first things first, do not try to out-tease him.
You will not win against Naoya, because no matter how much you try, or the lengths you go to fluster him back, you’re quickly reminded that he excels in just about anything he puts his mind to…
Thus, the best way for you to get your revenge, and perhaps the only that works, is to simply…
Ignore him.
Don’t see him, don’t talk to him, don’t engage with him—nothing. You are to be ice cold with everything that pertains to him, and soon, you begin to see how easy it is to make him regret his decisions. (a bit)
It starts quite simply: by not giving him his usual good morning kiss.
Naoya immediately notices there’s something amiss, and when he eventually finds out what it is, he doesn’t say anything, hoping to see if you notice it too…  
Until he becomes desperate and takes the initiative.
He initially thought you had simply forgotten, an innocent accident; but when you don’t respond to his “good morning”, even going as far glance away when he tries to kiss you, Naoya immediately knows it was intentional.
Your husband is going to be in a terrible mood from that point forward, evident by the way murmurs sprouted amongst the staff of his highly irritable (yet gloomy) attitude—yet, this does not sway him from trying to get your attention.
“Well, guess I won’t be buying your favorite sweets if you’re going to keep avoiding me.” Is one of the many ways he tries to coerce you into speaking to him. Surprisingly, it doesn’t work. However, he is not out of ideas just yet.
“You know what? I’ve been wanting to go to this amusement park now that I have a few days off… but I don’t know, I still have to think about it. See who I’ll take with me and all that…” He’d say, his ace up his sleeve, while discreetly looking over to you as to catch your reaction, since he knows you’ve been dying to travel for months now.
Yet, nothing. Not even batting an eye, going on with whatever activity you were doing at the moment instead of acknowledging him.
And that’s when he knows it’s something serious.
“Y/N, talk to me.” He’d finally insist after a long, silent, but heavily uncomfortable dinner.
“Why are you upset now?” Naoya asks.
Silence.
“Is that’s how it’s going to be? You’re not going to talk to me anymore?”
“…Can I at least know why?”
That would be the only instance you’d react, with a look on your face that lets him know there is a reason for your behavior, but most importantly, that he should know about it. But you continue to refuse to tell him, extending what he considered to be his punishment, even after he tried to force you to do so.
“Stop avoiding me!” Naoya says, grabbing your face and forcing you to see him—he thinks this way you won’t be able to do anything else but talk to him, and yet, your eyes are literally anywhere else but on him. “Seriously?!
And you were determined to remain oblivious of him…
Until Naoya begins to tease you yet again, by using his fingers to purse your lips up to a smile.
“Aw, don’t be like that, Y/N—give me that cute smile you always do.” He chuckles, hoping to ease this situation, with the same technique he’d used in the past. “See? Just like that, come on now, I know you want to laugh too—”
But you weren’t having any of it, not when he still took you as a joke, swiftly freeing your face from his hands and taking a step away from him, all with a frown that makes his heart sink to his stomach.
“Stop making fun of me!” you cry. “Seriously, that’s all you ever do…”
“That’s not true!” he immediately responds, attempting to defend himself. “I’m nothing but nice with you!”
Nothing of what you wanted to hear. So, after realizing he has yet to give you want you need, you decided to leave him alone, yet again, to either cool down or hope he’ll get the memo by this point, much to his remorseful solitude.
Naoya wouldn’t let this situation die, of course, not when your words still resonated inside his mind, quickly identifying there was a much bigger problem at hand and going off to figure out what you meant, what is it that you needed, and maybe vent as well, with the one person he knew he could always count on.
Receiving a reality check he didn’t precisely like, but indeed much needed, because after a few moments of reflection alongside Ranta, Naoya finds that indeed he hasn’t been as nice as he proclaimed, if anything, his behavior had gotten a bit worse these past few days, seemingly out of personal enjoyment to seeing you all flustered—careless of how you might perceive this, or how tiring and awkward it had become for you… and the rest.
“I obviously didn’t do it to make Y/N angry, I was just joking!” Naoya would say.
“Don’t tell me that, tell her!” Ranta responds—he guessed it was only a matter of time before you snapped.
And so, that’s what he mentally prepares himself to do at the end of the day, when alone in the confines of their shared bedroom, deep into the night.
Naoya is happy that even through all this commotion, the two still sleep in the same bed. Although the thought of you avoiding him even there is one that occasionally creeps in the back of his mind… fearing that this might be the next step if he doesn’t mend his mistakes.
“Y/N.” He eventually begins, sitting by the edge of the futon. You don’t respond, as expected.
It’s always hard for him to place his heart on his sleeve and admit that he was wrong, given his… background.
But he’s long learned that he loves you far more than anyone and anything in this world, and for you, he’d go to the end of the time just to see you happy. Something so redundant as shame would never stop him from doing what he needed to do.
“I brought you something.” He says, and through the corner of your eye, you manage to see there was indeed something in his hands. “I saw it the other day at a store, and it reminded me of you…”
Naoya then hands you a plushie, a white chubby duck—something you would’ve normally seen as adorable, but after all the things that have been happening, all you could do is frown as you look away.
“If you’re here to still make fun—”
“I’m not.” Naoya sternly responds. “…I thought you knew I would never do anything to upset you.”
“… but you did.”
“When I tease you, it’s only because I want to make you… blush, or laugh, nothing else.” He explains. “But, if you don’t want me to do it anymore, then I’ll stop.”
“That’s not the problem—I really don’t mind when you act that way.” You say. “It’s more that I don’t like it when you do that with important things. I don’t enjoy having to repeat myself a thousand times for you to do what I want you to…”
“Does it make you feel I wouldn’t do it?”
“No. It makes me feel like you’re not taking me seriously, at least to do it by the first time.”
Naoya presses his lips together, feeling enormously regretful for having planted those doubts onto you.
There’s nothing, no one, not a single person in this world, more important to him than you; and while it was always in his nature to react so… sardonically, he always complied when needed, especially with you.
But now that you mention it, he understands that perhaps he might’ve abused your willingness to take whatever he gives you—because more than his friend, you’re his wife, the woman of his dreams, and should treat you as such.
“I’m sorry.” He says. “I love you too much to ever want to make you feel that way, and it pains me to know that I have. …Will you ever forgive me?”
Your lips tremble slightly as you slowly turn around to see him, with teary eyes telling him that you didn’t like being away from him like this, but you didn’t know what to do in order for him to understand how unhappy you were.
Naoya surprises you yet again how different he’s become from the man you met all those years ago. Reminding you how much he’s grown, matured, done his part to make this relationship work…
And why you loved him so much in the first place.
“…With one condition” you begin, taking the plushie from his hands. “… if you promise me to stop being so playful with serious things, and… if you take me to the amusement park you were saying—it’s been a while since we went out on a date—…. I’ll forgive you.”
“Consider it done.” He says, leaning closer to you, intending to place a kiss on your lips, but you stop him by placing the ducky in-between the two, he raises an eyebrow. “Hmm?”
“And if you give me all the kisses I was supposed to get these days.” You murmur, a slight pout on your lips. He chuckles.
“You really are a spoiled princess, did you know that?”
You blush at the nickname, Naoya smirks.
“Ah, so you do like it when I tease you!”
“What? No!” you gasp. “I mean… maybe, when you don’t use the weird ones…”
“Weird ones? What are you even talking about?” he laughs, wrapping his arms around you and snuggling his face against yours, giving you a kiss, and another, and another, and another. “Little ducky”
“There you go again, naming me everything that crosses your sight!” you giggle, ticklish by his kisses.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, mochi.”
“Naoya!”
“Really? I didn’t even notice, pumpkin.”
“Stop it…” you whine, hiding your face against his chest out of embarrassment, he just continues laughing before placing a kiss on top of your head.
Naoya certainly tries his best to not tease you as much, however, he does fall back into old habits from time to time—but could he be blamed? It’s not his fault that he loved so much just how flustered you got… Or how easy you made it for him.
Sometimes you even wonder how you could tolerate him; one of the many mysteries of your relationship with him.
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now add to that 5 kids. y/n has the patience of a saint. DaMN.
Anyways, thank you for sending in this ask!! it's the small things that develop naoya's and y/n's relationship more and more :') kajfhjaghfjka we need more domestic fluff ngl 😭 luckily, I have two more things in mind hehe + pending asks 😏
I hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!
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e-vay · 4 months
Text
Evay QA Bulk Post 3
Here’s the latest assembly of asks, assorted by topics so you can browse only what interests you. Also, some questions refer to the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure game I made, so to avoid spoilers for those of you who haven't played it, I put those asks all the way at the bottom. If you haven't played my game yet, please go play it!
PERSONAL ASKS
Anon asked: E-vay may i ask which tablet mark do you use for your drawings?
And dreamylumi-art asked: Was wondering what is your favorite brushes In Procreate? Your drawings look so fun and bouncy that I’m interested in your process!
A: I use an iPad and I do all my drawings in Procreate now. I like to experiment with brushes, but the primary brushes I use come standard with Procreate. I use the "Procreate Pencil" for my sketches and the "Technical Pen" for linework :)
Anon asked: How are u and ur family doing? ❤️
A: You are so very sweet for asking ❤️ We're all doing really good right now. My dad's surgery went great and he's cancer free and fully healed. My mom is on medication that's helped her a lot. Things are also looking up for my younger sister (she even got engaged this Christmas!). I'm stressed but for good reasons hahaha I'm very thankful and counting my blessings right now.
twistedchaos101 asked: Hey, what’s your MBTI?
A: I just retook the test and I got "INFJ-T Advocate" for myself :)
karura-senpai asked: Have u ever heard of these new bollywood movies like Animal and Dunki which are popular rn around the world because of instagram reels and tiktok videos...
A: I can't say that I have, I'm sorry! My Tiktok FYP is very niche so I don't see many things about movies on there.
edwinflores428 asked: E-vay, since you're also a Beatles enjoyer, did you hear the new Beatles song 'Now and Then'?
A: I had not known about this before you told me! I just listened to it and I really loved it. It has that beautiful, 60's-Beatles feel to me. Thank you so much for point it out to me!
Anon asked: What's your creative process when going into writing / planning for a comic? Apologies if this has been asked before.
A: I normally start by just jotting down any super rough concepts/quotes in my notes app. If the piece I'm doing involves stuff I don't know by heart (renaissance clothing or certain landscapes or anything like that) I'll work on gathering a TON of resource images. That way I'm not interrupting my drawing process by repeatedly stopping to look up references. I try to do it all up front and have it saved somewhere I can easily access.
Once I have more time, I'll write out the script in a Google Doc. I break up the script by each panel. I won't always have all the elements ready in my head, and sometimes I'll combine panels or separate them more, but I can always adjust:
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Once I have a basic script, I can start to rough out the drawings/panels. These are just gestural drawings; I'm not looking to do anything too detailed here. I'm trying to figure out what best captures the emotions/energy of the scene and determine the natural flow of where your eyes will want to read the art and word bubbles:
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Then I move on to the "pencils." This is my opportunity to nail down the expressions and flow. Sometimes I'll realize the page is imbalanced so I will redesign the panels so it has more even weight distribution or make it more dynamic/emotional. I always draw the characters in different colors so it can help me make sure I know what lines belong to which character:
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Then it's on to all the fun stuff: Lines, coloring, shading and adding text!
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I hope this answered your question! It's pretty straight forward :)
Anon asked: have you ever watched the anime fairy tail? if no i think sonamy fits the main couple NaLu (natsu x lucy) really well, like as if they’re similar 🫶🏻
A: I'm sorry, I've never seen it! I don't watch much anime anymore.
Anon asked: Can you make different characters(aka people sonic characters/oc) in your own style
A: When I'm open for commissions, yes! I am not open for commissions at the moment but I plan on doing that this year.
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MISC SONIC ASKS
chrismantike asked: What’re your thoughts on longclaw (the owl from the sonic movie) does she exist in your AU as Sonic’s mom?
A: I liked the relationship we saw between Longclaw and baby Sonic in the movie, but I consider the movie as something entirely separate from the game/comic canon. I don't include any of the movie elements as part of my AU.
essycogany asked: What do you like most about Prime!Sonic?
A: Hmm, I think my favorite thing about him is how open he is with his emotions. In this show, he's very verbal about how much he cares about his friends and he doesn't hide it when he's sad or upset about something. In other media, Sonic has a habit of masking his emotions. I get that that's part of his personality, but it's nice to see this different side of him. (I also like how he showed more emotions in Frontiers, too!)
juli071023 asked: e-vay, what motivates you a lot about Sonic these years, why do you love it a lot, what motivates you about that character?
A: In the words of Young Neil, 'that's kind of a big question' haha. Simply put, the franchise just fuels me with excitement and joy and love! The character Sonic represents happiness and freedom and living in the moment and loving life to the fullest and I think that's such a great outlook to have. From a meta standpoint, I love how good the Sonic Team is to us fans. They engage with us regularly and put out SO MUCH CONTENT for us, more than any other franchise I'm aware of! I mean there are plenty of other great IPs out there, but you don't get the bombardment of games and shows and comics and social media engagement (etc) that you get with Sonic. I just think that's so cool! The fans love Sonic so much and the creators know that and reward us for our commitment. It's awesome.
Anon asked: So who do you think would win in a fight between Mario and Sonic
A: I gotta go with my boy Sonic! But of course it's better when they team up :D
Anon asked: How do you feel about the Dadow theory/au? As in Shadow being Silvers Dad. I honestly like it a lot.
A: If they're related, I think it makes more sense for Shadow to be Silver's grandpa or great grandparent. I think there are plot holes to say that he's directly his dad but I'm definitely open to them being related. Plus I think people can headcanon/au just about whatever they want, so I'm not against that theory :)
Anon asked: Hi e-vay, I hope you’re having a great day!! My question is: if there were to be a Sonic movie that’s only about Sonic and the guys but they were all being played by human actors, which actors do you think would suit them best?
A: Thank you so much, I hope you are too! Oh man this was so difficult but I put a ton of thought into it. And I'm sure there are still tons of actors I'm not thinking of who would be better, but here's what my gut tells me: Older Sonic: Max Greenfield [x] [x] or Jack Quaid [x] [x]. They're so witty and handsome and are built like runners! Younger Sonic: Jack Dylan Grazer Older Amy: Alison Brie. Even if it wasn't a live action movie, I so desperately wish that Alison Brie could be Amy's voice actor. I'm actually working on an animation where Amy is paired with some Alison Brie lines because I think it's such a perfect fit. She's sweet and funny and strong and sexy. She's on the petite side but she has that confidence that just commands a room. Ugh, Amy and Alison are my dream women 💖 Younger Amy: McKenna Grace Older Tails: Justice Smith or Cole Sprouse Younger Tails: Noah Jupe or Jacob Tremblay. Sorry, I don't know many young actors but I think they're both great! Older Knuckles: Terry Crews or Jason Momoa Younger Knuckles: Tyler James Williams [x] [x] Shadow: Jensen Ackles or Michael B Jordan 💖Swoon💖 Older Rouge: Ana de Armas or Charlize Theron Younger Rouge: Jenna Ortega or Sophie Turner
Anon asked: How old are the sonic boom characters in your opinion?
A: Firstly, I've said this before but I don't think Mobian age works the same as human age. I consider the Sonic Boom characters as all being what we'd consider as late teens or young adults. They all act like me and my friends did when were were college age haha
Anon asked: What do u think tails looked/acted during puberty🙂
A: That's what Tall!Tails is all about! I think he shot up in height and outgrew Sonic immediately. Maybe he got a bit more snarky and might mutter about how annoying it is that Sonic doesn't think things through before acting, but Tails is a sweetheart and I think he'd overall still be nice even while he's in that awkward stage of life.
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MY OCs/AU ASKS
@redbirduniverse13 asked: Hi i love your art 💖 My question is, are your characters aware that other versions of them exist?
A: Thank you so much! No, they aren't aware of any other versions of them out there. Ruff would probably be most hopeful to meet other versions of himself since he's into comic books and would love the concept of the multiverse.
twistedchaos101 asked: What's your ocs MBTI?
A: I have too many OCs to do all of them lol But I'll do it for Aurora and CC. As Aurora, the results from the test were: "ENFP-T Campaigner" As CC, the results from the test were: "INTJ-A Architect"
Anon asked: Question, how is Aurora able to glow ?
A: Aurora has photokinesis, which gives her the ability to manipulate light. This results in a lot of things she's able to do that involve light, but glowing is the easiest thing for her to do (and is the hardest for her to suppress lol). She was born with these abilities but they didn't manifest until she was about preteen age.
charlieangel345 asked: You know everytime I saw Aurora glow up, her photokinesis power changes color. It made me wonder if she feel happy, angry, or sad, her light power might change colors. I can imagine she can create rainbow light.
A: Absolutely! Her powers are severely influenced by her emotions, so the color of her glow would definitely change based on her feelings. I have her inhibitors glow green naturally, but she could do any color under the light spectrum.
freshcreationgarden asked: I like to think Aurora's favorite fairytale growing up was beauty and the beast. Something about a handsome prince who hides beneath a rough exterior who believes they are not worthy of love who is bound to a "Rose"
A: Oh that is just too sweet! That metaphor is very perfect for what I write for her romantic future ;) I have said in a previous ask that Thumbelina is her favorite fairytale, but I like your headcanon too!
Anon asked: Hi, something randomly popped in my head about like the comics of aurora and I wondered, has aurora ever gotten sick?
A: Of course! She's just a regularly lady so she gets sick like average people do. I see her as the type that doesn't get sick often, but when she does it LAAAASTS. (That's how I am and it sucks!)
Anon asked: I know this might be a weird question, but can it be possible if Aurora can do chaos control with a chaos emerald like Sonic and Shadow.
A: I'll be honest, because we don't know much about Chaos Emeralds, I don't know who is capable of using them or not. But because Sonic is capable of using Chaos Control, I'm going to say yes Aurora should be able to as well. I don't think it's a technique either of them can master like Shadow does. Chaos Control seems second nature to Shadow.
Anon asked: if we go by sonic underground lore imagine Aurora finding out that she's technically a princess/duchess. Like sonic always call her princess because that's what dad's typically call their daughters, but then she finds out and her mind just explodes.
A: Honestly, I'm not a Sonic Underground fan. I know a lot of people love it for the nostalgia, but I didn't watch it growing up so I don't have any ties to it and I am not a fan of the story. I'm okay if people want to headcanon tying it in, but it's not for me.
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don't like Shadora*
Anon said: Hi, so glad you’re back! Just reread Boom!Baby where Rouge mentions how hedgehogs have a lot of babies and I think it’s kinda funny in the future Shadow and Aurora have eight
A: Thank you so much, I'm so happy to be back! Yeah, Rouge really knew what she was talking about 😆 I bet she told Shadow the same thing when they were expecting!
Anon asked: Does aroura ever run into her ex again?
A: Aurora spends most of her life in a small bubble, rarely leaving her home town, so she would have run into him now and then. Again though, they were kids when they were "boyfriend/girlfriend" and you can hardly even call them that (Imagine like in the Barbie movie, how Ken and Barbie don't know what it means to be Girlfriend-Boyfriend) so it's not awkward running into each other. It's more of a "Hey there's that person I used to know"
prophecyhyper asked: When Aurora was born and Amy said "She's more perfect than I imagined" What did she imagine of Aurora looking like?
A: She didn't have an exact image in mind when she said that. It was more like an amorphous concept. You know somehow the baby will look like you and your partner, but there are so many different outcomes. So she would have daydreamed about all the possibilities: the baby looking more like Sonic, the baby looking more like her, maybe the baby having elements of their grandparents.
Anon asked: Will Sage exist in your AU?
A: Yes! I adore Sage!
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don't like Shadora*
Anon asked: Hey Evay, I’ve been thinking about this lately. It’s kind of silly question. If there is a naughty and nice list, which of Shadora Kids is naughty or nice.
A: This was a great question and I'm so sorry I missed it before the holidays! This is all in fun, none of them got punished: Piper: Nice but ONLY after Santa had to give her a lecture on how she needs to not be a smartass and boss around her siblings Zane: Naughty (He did too many stunts indoors!) Nova: Nice Aster: Naughty (He and Blitz plotted to kidnap Santa) Blitz: Naughty (She finds it a point of pride) Diamond: Nice Cinder: Nice (He's scared of Santa) Boon: NICE! (He doesn't know the meaning of the word naughty!)
Anon asked: haven’t seen CC in a while, could we have more CC please
A: There will be more CC, I promise! :)
kbluetoons asked: Say, after reading your spindash lesson comic (which was really cute by the way), what if Aurora showed her kids how to spindash like how Sonic showed her?
A: Aw I'm so happy you liked it! Yes, learning to spin dash is vital to a hedgehog's upbringing ;) She'd teach them very young but then immediately regret it because they'd be spindashing all over the house. Now she knows why Sonic was so hesitant to teach her when she was little!
mod-bubamon asked: I know spooky season is over but how do cc and tails handle horror movies? Does cc Criticize every litter thing the protagonist do? Does tails even get scared after all he's been through? IF CC GETS SCARED DOES SHE HUGS TAILS TAILS FOR COMFORT??? THIS IS IMPORTANT
A: Hahaha I loved this question! First of all, Spooky Season is never over for me! ↜(ˈ╰ •ω•)╯ψ So bring on all your Halloweeny ideas! CC would not be fun to watch horror movies with. She would be overly analytical, not only of the actions that the victims are doing but how unrealistic the injuries/gore/battles are haha. I see Tails as someone who originally was afraid of scary movies, but watching them with CC has actually helped him to be less afraid of them. Now he spots the same flaws she does and they like to roast them together! Just to clarify -- CC does get scared of things, just not horror movies.
Anon asked: Hey, I rediscovered your art recently and almost forgot how much I loved it! I love CC and was wondering if you had any small head cannon kinda things you have for her and Tails you would share that you haven't already?
A: Well welcome back and thank you so very much! This question was not related to the previous question, but the previous question sparked an idea for me so I'm going to expand on it here. When Tails and CC first started watching horror movies together, CC noticed that Tails was super on edge. To help relax him, she'd take his tails into her lap and pet them to calm him down. He's not as scared of movies anymore, but he always has her stroke his tails while they watch shows together now :) Also, CC is still getting used to Mobian mannerisms and nuances. They've made a nightly routine where during dinner, she debriefs Tails on all the new conversations and interactions she's had with people and Tails scores her on how well she's adjusting. She likes the challenge and strives for a better "score" every day!
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SHIPPING ASKS
essycogany asked: How are you feeling about the new Sonamy material from this and last year? Things are really starting to become more obvious as the years go on.
A: It does my shriveled little heart so much good! I don't know that they'll ever cross that line in canon, but I love how much their relationship has evolved compared to years ago. It means the world to me that Sonic considers Amy as one of his best friends and as someone he can depend on (and is even willing to think about dating ((in reference to that cut dialog line from Frontiers)). And I love that Amy has proven that her feelings for Sonic are more than just a fan-crush; she genuinely loves him for who he is and will always be there for him. UGH IT MAKES ME FEEL SO ALIVE!
Anon asked: I just wanted to say that I love love love your sonamy works! :D Absolutely adorable (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ Also, only if you want to answer ofc, what are your thoughts on the ship Metamy (Metal Sonic and Amy)? Thank you for the lovely food you bring and have a wonderful day!
A: Oh gosh, thank you so much! You just made my day wonderful by this sweet message! I do ship Metamy! After all, I believe in my heart of hearts that Sonic has feelings for Amy and Metal Sonic is supposed to be the same as him... ^_~ I think despite his transgressions, Amy has a special place in her heart for Metal. He's one of the reasons she even met Sonic in the first place! But what I'd prefer most is for Metal Sonic to have a Metal Amy. That way everybody wins 💕
Anon asked: Hi e-vay I love ur dr who art!! Question, do tenrose remind you of sonamy? Or do any characters or couples from the whoverse remind you of any sonic character or couples?
A: Ahhh thank you so much! I always thought my Doctor Who art got lost in the void so I'm so glad you found it! TenRose is my favorite DoctorWho ship, so I think by law I have to relate them to sonamy haha. But honestly I think RoryXAmyPond suits sonamy more if you reverse the roles. Rory's absolute dedication to AmyPond--regardless of death--was the definition of love, and that's how I feel Amy Rose is for Sonic. I can't think of any other ships that are good parallels. River Song reminds me of Rouge just that she's savvy and flirty. Forgive me, I stopped watching after Eleven regenerated so I'm not up to date on anything. If you don't like the Shadora ship then don't click this link, but I have drawn Aurora and Shadow as Ten and Rose before :)
Anon asked: Werehog Sonic and Werehog Amy kiss meme or a mini comic about both kissing in their werehog forms?
A: I kind of already drew that :) It's the 10th drawing in this post.
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don't like Shadora*
penguin-evere asked: hello! this is my first time doing something like this. i've loved your art for a while now (probably since 2017-2018), and i love the new style you have! anyways, i wanted to ask if you've seen the frontiers twitter takeover, and the newfound information about shadow's secret like of some good ol' t. swizzle music, and was curious if aurora would be a fan too, and if they would go to a concert together! i think it'd be really cute.
A: Thank you so much! And I'm so relieved you still like my stuff even after all this time :) Aurora loves pop music and so yeah I could see her being a Taylor fan for sure. Although I don't take Swifty!Shadow as canon (lol) it is still fun to think they could bond over that music together!
*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don't like Shadora*
Anon asked: what was the shadora confession like? Cause I like to imagine that it was shadow who confessed and that he did it in the most dramatic way possible, cause he's our drama king.
A: I don't want to reveal too much until I've properly drawn it, but yes for my stories Shadow would confess his love first. He's technically loved her longer since he met her when she traveled back in time to save him so once they've "re-met" I don't think he'd be willing to hide his feelings too long. It's Shadow so of course it has to be so romantic and dreamy~!
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ASKS RE: MY GAME
Anon asked: How did you make the Trick Or Sweet Halloween Game, can you show me what you used or did to make it? If you can do a step by step that would be helpful or just tell me how you did it that would be helpful:))
A: Oh man... Honestly, it was way too complicated of a project to explain in just one answer. And I won't be able to explain any of the technical/coding side. I watched so many tutorials but I just couldn't grasp it, so my husband had to code it for me and I have no idea how he managed it. From a non-technical standpoint, I had to first write out the script for it. That means writing out all the dialog and also writing out every option possible. Even though my game was fairly linear, this was still complicated to write. What helped me was using icons and colors to help me know which actions would lead to which outcomes:
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Then came the longest part, the drawing! I had to draw a variety of sprites and backgrounds and objects. Also, some of the actions you take make certain items go away, so I had to remember to hide them depending on the path you took. Once I had all the elements, I assembled them in a Slides presentation to test it out. If you're not doing anything too complicated, you could probably get away with making your game entirely in Google Slides. Mine was too complicated and I wouldn't be able to publish it to my website but it was good for testing. When it was ready for build, I had to make a comprehensive guide for Ryan showing what clicks lead to where, what sound effects should be played when, when the music tracks should switch, etc:
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He programmed it in Adobe Animate. I don't know how he did it, other than he's just a brilliant babe and I thank god for him lol
Anon asked: Just at a curiosity though, whatever happened to everyone (especially Sonic & Amy) AFTER your truth serum wore off from your ‘Trick or Sweet Adventure’? Also how about Shadow & Rouge? Did they get affected as well?
A: They lived happily ever after, of course! If the two just told each other how they felt then they'd be happy (in my opinion) so they just needed a little magical kick in the butt haha. I didn't have any plans for Shadow or Rouge, but if I could cast a spell to make them happy then I would give Rouge a throne of diamonds and Shadow the chance to ease the pain in his heart (T▽T)
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Thank you all for the questions!
Evay QA Bulk Post 1
Evay QA Bulk Post 2
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writingjourney · 3 days
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I’m in need of some advice and kind words. As a fellow writer I’m really struggling to believe people will and want to read my stuff. There’s no real engagement anymore and I’m worried that if I post my long-form fic that no one will give it a chance. It’s really bringing me down because I love it so much but it feels like no matter what I try to do my stuff just doesn’t get seen or liked? I’ve even thought about changing my entire way of how I do things since I don’t think the way I write is working for the masses. How do you keep up the motivation as a popular writer and do you have an advice?
Hello anon!! I feel like this is something many of us currently deal with. And first of all I seriously hope that you do share your story!! ♡
To be completely honest with you the lack of engagement in the fandom has for sure impacted my own motivation which is why I haven't been putting as much time into longer fics (nor the Friday Nights series or IKNBS, I do write but I refuse to force myself). I don't feel any urgency because uploading fics hasn't made me as happy as it used to. It feels like only other active writers are reading fic atm and it creates a lot of pressure on creatives to stay super active.
I'm aware that I'm insanely privileged to have the engagement that I do have, that the type of stories I want to write are also the type of stories that generally seem to appeal. However, engagement tells you NOTHING about the quality of your work, only how many people are active in a fandom or like a specific pairing/character/trope. Your own unique voice matters more than numbers.
I also notice that a lot of people who used to read my works have disappeared which I completely understand. The fixation can ebb away during times of inactivity or when a certain hype dies down. People just don't get that dopamine hit anymore and move on. It's also entirely possible they get tired of a certain style of writing and prefer other writers at times, what do I know. I definitely don't blame anyone for that. First and foremost people should read for their own enjoyment and engage with fandom in a way that makes them happy. It makes no sense to pressure people into engaging. A huge issue right now is people overthinking these things which makes support transactional instead of genuine.
I don't care much about notes but I REALLY miss the feeling of sharing a fic with people who are excited for it, that sense of an active community. BUT the activity will come back – the movie will come out, new music and videos, heck even a whole new Papa!!! That's the natural flow of things. We can't be excited and super active all the time, we need phases of calmness as well (which is an act of rebellion in the capitalist hellscape of overproduction and churned out content. I am honestly glad Ghost is taking it easy).
Now, I recommend you write your story exactly how you want to!!! do NOT change it for the sake of popularity because it will lose its very soul and you will struggle to be happy with it by the end. You know how you want to tell your story and nothing else matters. It will find its readers or you can wait and share it at a later point. I recommend that you approach other writers and readers and intensify that contact, make friends and talk to them about your stories, hype each other up, share snippets. It's even more meaningful to know people you like enjoy what you do. I am currently working on super niche fics for non-Ghost characters and I'm honestly having a great time chasing that dopamine by just writing what I'm really into and sharing it with friends. Fandom is community, fandom is fun and we can work to make it better for everyone.
A few general tips when it comes to making stories accessible: Format them to be readable (paragraphs!!), add a "read more" break, add proper content information and a nice summary to draw people in, add some visual appeal like a banners or stock image edits (like i do for IKNBS) and then tag the fics with relevant tags (and only those). Also make sure to tag the OG post, tags on reblogs do nothing for reach. Engage with the community when you feel like it and it's likely that the community will engage back. Being supportive is worth it, being kind is always worth it even if it amounts to nothing.
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boxofbonesfic · 2 months
Note
"why am i even bothering to write and post anything at all?"
"ngl that makes me not want to post anymore lmfao"
Because you have people reading???? Like tf? I'm not trying to be rude, but while you are lamenting over racist people not reading your work (as are other writers that I follow) don't forget about the people who do engage, read, comment, send ask, gently requesting updates to stories because writers get pissed off if updates are demanded, and champion your writing. Some of us actively searched for black writers and stories.
I understand wanting a lot of engagements, I do, but I'm starting to feel shafted as a reader who is doing all the things these writers ask for and yet read these posts in which the writers threatened to quit writing fics because there's only 100 notes. Have you looked through the notes? Do you not see familiar usernames over and over again? So it's not many of us, and that is truly unfortunate, but the group is loyal. Stray words and so many others have already left.
Just like you're feeling unappreciated as a writer, I'm feeling unappreciated as a reader because yall (poc writers) essentially tell me there is nothing more that I can do to make you feel wanted enough to stay.
I'm sorry you feel like this, but the reality is that we're black. Whether in real life or digital, this is how the world treats us. We will have to work harder for less. It shouldn't be like this, but life aint been fair to us for centuries now. I do what you ask, so I ask that you focus on the small group of us that follow your writing through.
…i’m sorry that people sending me racist asks effects me? i’m human, too? i’m a person too? like i’m not made of stone, people being cruel to me does hurt me, it does leave lasting effects on my mental health? i didn’t threaten to quit writing, i talked about how that ask, combined with my ever decreasing engagement made me feel.
of course i look through my notes. conversely, do you see me responding to comments? asks? i’ve posted several times now about trying to commit to a more regular update schedule, about finishing my outstanding work. have you not seen any of that? i’m not leaving, but am i not allowed to speak on my experience? i’ve been back a week, and i’m already getting racist anons.
chastising me for being human and feeling a way when people are cruel to me is not how you get consistent updates, nor is it how you encourage me to stick it out. just because that’s the reality doesn’t make it right, and it doesn’t make it easier as a black content creator. i’m trying to be here, to update consistently, to be the change i want to see, but it is fucking hard, it is painful, and i’m sorry that you don’t like hearing that. feel free to follow my library blog to avoid it, i only reblog updates and new work there.
we have a saying in Jamaica: “pressure bust pipe”. i’m sorry black authors have been dropping like flies, but we are people. how much are we supposed to take without saying anything? i really don’t know what else to say other than that i’m trying.
sorry.
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