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cloveroctobers · 3 years

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• JENIFER “JEN” MARLOWE •

IG Info/bio: @/justjenw1n | 220k followers | Fashion | just a LUVer who owns a lovely blog that you’re more than welcome to check out here... astoldbyjenmarlowe.co.uk 🪞🛍🪄

22 (24) (25 in 2021) years of age

From London, England

Her family has French origins

Tends to visit once a year mainly with her family

For her 18th bday, her parents also sent her to Paris with her bf that she’s been dating since she was 14

they broke up since he wanted to stay in Paris to pursue his dreams and she felt like she needed to be back home...which she felt Paris was not

Extremely close to her parents, some may say a little TOO close...

See, I feel like jen comes from a family that spoils her where her parents did everything and took care of everything for her. She had the privilege and didn’t have to work too hard to get things she wanted so that made her a little bit different than a few of her friends, hell—even her bf

Didn’t have to work until she reached her twenties

She also didn’t have too many friends because her parents felt like her cousins and/or her sibs were really only allowed to hold that title

However her parents had some sort of a soft spot for her when they allowed her to date her bf at 14 since he came from a nice background...

And to have at least 1-2 best friends...

I can’t decide if I see her having 3 other sibs with her being the second eldest, or her being the eldest with a younger sister? I can also see her being a only child too? Idk y’all can decide

Because her family is a tight knit one, she values everything they say and do...which is canon/evident

She got her thigh tattoo in Paris and even thought about asking her parents permission but her bf talked her out of it

she later showed them that night while he was in the shower. Her mother openly disapproved saying it was, “unladylike or unclean” while her father was more lenient towards it

Her mother even scheduled her for laser appointments but this was one of the things jen was sure of, she loved her tattoo and she didn’t want to erase it from her body which led to her mother not speaking to her for about a month—even tho they live in the same household

I feel like she looks more like her dad with her mom’s hair and smile

Got into fashion due to her maternal grandmother who seemed to live a extravagant life as a old time actress, she always had and owned the finest of things

Jen loved having sleepovers there, it felt like she had her own personal Liz Taylor inside of her nan...but better!

Definitely found inspiration through Liz Taylor, Kate Moss, Victoria Beckham, and Naomi Campbell

she had no clue what she wanted to do in life (she never had to think too hard about it until now, it’s true what they say about your twenties) and she made the choice not to continue thru with uni & I’m not going to make her out to be the stereotypical “dumb blonde” I think she did well in school—so she kinda just chilled after it was all over

Her first job at 20 was probably working in retail where she learned all about the bs you put up with but she loved clothes! That never changed

So she decided 6 months into her job that she was going to make a fashion blog

she made one separate from her tumblr but kept it under construction since she needed to brain storm what exactly this blog would entail

It didn’t take too long to her to figure it out by how she wanted the blog to look then discussing pieces from celebs/models then slowly discussing her own wardrobe + advice

She didn’t immediately gain success for it —altho she did have a good 1k people follow her thru her tumblr where she also provided the link to her separate blog... but she worked/works hard at it, hoping one day it’ll get her somewhere and that maybe she can get paid for it too?

Retail fucking sucks and people are horrible twats so when she was approaching 21 she deff quit with her parents still hammering...more so her dad on what she needs to do with her life but she found happiness in her blog and no one was going to take that away from her —not even her parents

‘What’s the use of working if it doesn’t make you happy?’ She thinks but again! she has the privilege of living under her parents roof and not having to pay bills so she didn’t have to worry too much rn she knows they’d never kick her out right?

she has two bunnies named “bugsy” and “Lola”—u know the reference right?

I feel like she values the flinstones & jetsons because it was something her dad loved watching as a kid and still does , probably has the dvds showcased in her room that she watches when she feels sad

Seems like a smiley person but when she’s sad? It kinda sucks to see cause she turns into a whole different person and she always seems happy with a smile so wide that turns her eyes squinty

If she disagrees with something, she’s 100% giving her opinion whether you like it or not? Wrong is wrong. But when the shoe is on the other foot? She hates being wrong LOL or doesn’t view herself being wrong. Doesn’t take accountability well...at all!

She’s also showed her ass by being a gossiper and fake as hell with Allegra about mc with the whole, “let’s pretend like we’re there for her” if you’re not fucking with somebody just say that or SHOW it sis cause that snakey shit will come back to bite you in the ass (I forgot about this lol as I’m replaying)

she’s all “mega resting bitch face” until she breaks out into a large smile

Libra sun? + Virgo moon? + Gemini rising?

I feel like she only knows what she wants when it comes to relationships but not with the rest of life?

Lol she was very determined with levi in the beginning, explored shit with jake, (I can’t remember if that was after you/mc showed a interest in him or not in that route? I’m doing a talia/Rohan route rn But that’s kinda foul if she’s smiling in ur face and then boom goes and does what she wants but hey that’s the game right? Fck that tho) and then stood by Tim after only some time?

She wasn’t feeling him in the beginning either cause he thought she was too posh for him and snakey which he’s right to some degree but she’s also right if she finds him too immature for her liking

To you jim? Ten? Stans— Idk what their ship name is but it probably wouldn’t have worked out in the long run either because I don’t see both of them wanting to change themselves completely to satisfy the other. (Tim tried) Sure if you’re showing unhealthy behaviors and are open to diminishing that for yourself then trying to work on your relationship then that’s great! But they already started from the jump not liking each other’s personalities/characteristics....

And hey! Ofc I know people grow to like things they might have disliked about you in the beginning but you can also find yourself not fully accepting it in a relationship and that doesn’t mean you didn’t try

+ it’s been hinted at that they’re not endgame & if you love yourself some Tim not platonically then this works in ur favor. if not? Then you can keep them endgame by all means! For me? That endgame shit is a no! For those that don’t gaf about either of them that’s fine too lmao

YES I feel like they were both hurt over the breakup and it probably happened right around the holidays or either a couple of months after Christmas/New Years 2019

Jen is probably the type to keep checking up on her ex, not necessarily talking to them but finding out who they’re with now

and if it’s Tim with mc she’s definitely gossiping about the shit with erikah and Allegra or making shady tweets or posts on IG for sure

“5 outfits to wear when you run into your ex” type posts on her blog looool

She hopes if she runs into Tim, she’s looking her best and she would 80% go up to him & mc/his new girl if not mc and be all huggy with him and holding conversation before she even thinks to acknowledge mc/new girl and when she does it’s a shady convo with fake smiles

Absolutely loves watching housewives so she was prepared for that moment if it ever does come

Her parents openly didn’t like Tim which made him feel like shit since it seemed like jen never defended him in front of them but again, she values her parents opinion and always wants their stamp of approval that’s just the way the girl is/ was brought up

She owes them everything but deep down knows that in her relationship with Tim she could have been a little more understanding of his needs like he was with her love for her parents...but she’ll never admit that

Doesn’t get over breakups as easily as it may seem like her exes do in her opinion.

It sure didn’t take long with Tim to date mc/new girl months after they broke up! Which was like a slap in the face

The ex bf she spent time w in Paris who looks like Matthew Noszka is now engaged, lives in AMERICA—& of all places??? California to be exact, and just released his debut album!! She knows which songs are probably about her, it’s a nice album she screamed about it for hours into her pillow and cried for what felt like weeks

Lost her voice over that breakdown too

Her mother even went as far as sending a nasty letter to this ex bf’s new address...since ya know? jen’s dad is a private investigator & all!!! but dad had no knowledge of this being done

She’s still fond of Levi and jake but not like in love with them? Like she thought/felt she was with Tim but she still considers them her mates

Maybe in 2021 she’ll be open to dating again and hopes erikah and Allegra will be her wingwomen when the time comes BUT she’s focusing on her blog rn and it’s the best it’s ever been!

She had the show to thank for that now that she has a manager and is getting paid for running her blog now! That’s right this girl is officially employed!

“At least one good thing came from the show ;) 🧽🥐🥂” type of tweets

There’s never not a moment where she’s not connecting her posts whether thru ig or Twitter to her blog: astoldbyjenmarlowe.co.uk!!!

Both erikah and Allegra talk a little shit about that together...WHEN they DO talk, the pair only really socialize when jen initiates it but if one pisses the other off?? they’re going to gossip about it with the other forsure

She doesn’t look that tall to me? Taller than erikah? 5’2-5’5 the 5 is pushing it for me? Maybe? lol I’m still deciding between her and Allegra far as height and I’m too lazy to go back and see what I put for her

Hates straightening her hair, that pin straight look is not cute to her. She loves having waves and body to her hair

Get her eyebrows micro bladed since she doesn’t have much hair up there to begin with

Adores French cuisine, always has since she was a little girl. Bisque used to be her fav back then and all that she would eat

Loves spring season especially pastel colors when it comes to her wardrobe

The type to say one thing and do the complete opposite

I feel like she probably has a little bit of lisp and it’s not really noticeable until she says some words, she’s insecure about it and thought it had something to do with the structure of her teeth and begged her parents to get them fixed but it literally had nothing to do with them

Yet she still got colorful braces in middle school even tho her teeth were pretty straight. She didn’t have to wear them for a whole year, thank goodness

Went to speech therapy to help

Has stacks of fashion magazines even from the early 90s all over her room: her night stand, her vanity, her closet, underneath her bed etc...

Adores the Hadid sisters, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, & Georgia May Jagger

Makes the best white chocolate chip (that’s right, white not just regular chocolate) banana bread but cooking/baking? Isn’t really her thing

Early riser

Loves yellow: yellow phone case, yellow laptop, yellow room, yellow tulips, yellow shades, etc...

Getting Prada shades was probably one of the best things that happened to her, s/o to her nan for granting her this wish

Words of affirmation is her love lanaguage, this girl is a talker and a bit of a thinker too I mean duh? She runs a blog

Likes bright colors on her toes but nude and clear polish on her hands?

Loves a good mascara but she also loves magnetic lashes but is trying her best to grow her lashes out rn! Thanks to erikah for sending her some good ol’ coconut oil!

Smokey eyes? Set her up

Gets a belly ring, and two more tatts one in between her boobs and the last on her ankle & that one she shed a tear over!

Maybe she’ll start changing her physical attributes more so than the way she carries her life at first? (Or ever) She’ll cut her hair below her collarbone to the top of her chest, and maybe she’ll try a light light LIGHT brunette (she loves being a natural blonde) with blonde highlights? Who knows

loves espadrilles and wedge sandals

Loves going wine tasting and visiting vineyards, if she’s vacationing? You can bet ur ass she’s looking for a vineyard to visit

Deff a lightweight

Here’s her unpopular opinions on s2: Thought Felix was a wannabe Tim and hates the fact that he follows her, thought graham was unattractive and said so to Allegra who snickered, thought marisol’s clothing choices were rather boring,

didn’t feel 100% bad for Hannah but disagrees with the way Gary and noah spoke about her + the way Gary tried to slide back over to Hannah on her comeback episode

but doesn’t feel like Lottie is wrong for choosing Gary after Hannah left

isn’t a fan of priya but is glad she’s doing fashion since jen strongly believes in if something isn’t making u happy then u need to let it go

Thinks Hope should have won and cannot tolerate Bobby. Feels he’s WORSE than Felix,

would be open to dating Ibrahim or Carl from that szn

has spoken to Harry from s3 due to his drunkenness and actually made a friend out of him? But low key wants to get to know seb? Take that info as u will 👀

Her anthem: Michelle — SUNRISE

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lesbian-deadpool · 4 years

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The Assistant

Part Two Of Two: And There Was Funny Business

Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Platonic!Tony Stark x Reader

Words: 3,886

Warnings: I don’t think there is anything. It is mostly dialogue tho.

Request: For the @ryostephi who donated to the Australian Bushfires. (I’m sorry the tag doesn't work)

Summary: When was retirement again?

A/N: I am shocked at how much I got wrong in the first part, after re-watching Iron Man 2 as I wrote this part, and for that, I am so sorry lol. So... I know there’s still a lot of Tony in this... and I have no excuse, other than it’s based in Iron Man 2, and there's not much “Natalie” plot for me to go off of, and have it be all that good (in my opinion). So, I hope you don’t mind lol.

(Not my GIF)

***

“Explain!” Tony practically ordered you, his voice close to a screech, more than anything else.

“I’m an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” you told him blankly.

“Yes, I see that-!”

“How?” Natasha started, “I- I mean you can't be an Agent, I would have seen you.”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. is a big place, Natasha.”

“You always knew who I was.” She leaned back in her seat, beside Fury, regarding you.

You scoffed, shaking your head. “Of course I did.”

“Agent Y/L/N here, has been away for business for a short amount of time now,” Fury informed them, gesturing a hand to you.

“No offence, Nick. But I don’t think eight months, is a short amount of time,” you replied, causing the man to scoff softly at you, his lips quirking in a small smile.

“So, that’s where you’ve been, this whole time?”

You tuned to Tony. “Yeah, that’s why slept so much when I got back.”

“Anyway,” Fury began, drawing everyone’s attention back to him, as he spoke to Tony, “You’ve been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, you’re giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit-”

“Wait. Hold, up,” You paused him, raising a hand, “Rhodey took a suit?”

“He sure as hell did.” Fury said. “Now, if I didn’t know better-”

“You don’t know better. I didn’t give it to him. He took it.”

“Oh, well that's better,” you said offhandedly, as you rested your chin in your hand, watching the conversation go down.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s right.” he pointed at you. “He took it? You’re Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walks in there, kicked your ass and took your suit? Is that possible?” He turned to Natasha.

“Well, according to Mr Starks database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorised usage.”

“Whoa, those were some big words...”

Tony snorted softly at both your words and hers. While Natasha threw you a light glare.

“What do you want from me?”

And that was the hidden queue you were looking for. Knowing what was coming next. You sat up straight in your seat, ready to make the move.

“What do we want from you?” And there Natasha goes, sliding out of her seat. You followed in her lead. Pulling yourself up by the table, and spinning yourself around to sit next to Fury. “Uh-uh. What do you want from me?” He continued, repeatedly pointing to the man, as you wore a shit-eating grin by his side, the scene almost painting out like you were watching your sibling getting chewed out by your parent. “You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the centre of my universe.”

“But I am, right?” He raised a lone finger to you, without even looking, to silence you, as you only smiled harder.

“I have bigger problems than you in the southwest region to deal with.” You rolled your eyes as your boss continued rant, wanting for this to be over. When your eyes spotted Natasha coming back.

Fury snapped his fingers, and told Natasha to, “Hit him.”

Tony let out a startled sound, moving back in pain. “Oh, God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it?” He asked as Natasha checked his neck over, sitting down beside him, and watching the poisoned veins recede, “Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds?”

Turning to you and Fury, he continued to ask, “What she just do to me?”

“What did we just do for you,” Fury corrected him.

“Hey, that cleared up the Matrix puzzle, really well.” You smiled.

“That’s lithium dioxide. It's gonna take the edge off. We’re trying to get you back to work,” The man by your side explained, “You should thank Agent Y/L/N over here, she was the one who requested it, and made our Science Department's lives a living hell, until we got it.”

“Wait. You had something to do with this?” Tony asked, turning to you, notes of touch in his voice, showing you he had just realised how much you truly cared for him.

“Of course I did,” you scoffed, “You really think I was gonna let you die?”

You watched as billionaire’s lips twitched in a smile, before he returned to his stoic, guarded nature.

“Give me a couple boxes of that. I’ll be right as rain.”

“It’s not a cure, it just abates the symptoms.”

“Yeah, what the thesaurus said, over there,” you agreed, gesturing to the red-head. Who in turn kicked you “lightly” in the shin. Making you hiss out a small, “Ow.”

Not paying you mind, Fury continued, studying the other man's neck, “Doesn’t look like it’s gonna be an easy fix.”

“It never is with us,” you said.

“Trust me, I know. I’m good at this stuff.” You could see behind Tony’s eyes just how helpless he was feeling. “I’ve been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I’ve tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.”

“Am I the only one here who didn’t understand a word of that?” you asked the table, “No? Am I being ignored? That’s nice.”

You weren’t being ignored, however. If the smirk, that was quickly wiped away, that Natasha wore was any indication.

“Well, I’m here to tell you, you haven't tried them all.”

“Well... on that note.” You spoke, “I think it’s time I took my leave.”

“I’m still mad at you,” Tony told you childishly.

Well... two could play at that game.

“Yeah, well at least Rhodey and Pepper aren’t mad at me,” you fired back, as you got up from your seat. Practically hearing the man's jaw drop behind you.

***

“Antony Stark!” you yelled, as you strolled through the open door to Pepper’s office.

“What did I do now?”

“What do you mean, ‘what did you do now’?” you seethed at him, coming closer.

“Anything else, boss?” Happy asked.

“I’m good, Hap.”

“No, I’ll be just... another minute,” Tony and Pepper said at the same time.

“Well, that was awkward,” you said.

“I lost all three of the kids in the divorce,” Tony laughed at his own joke. “Nothing?” he asked quietly, glancing over his shoulder at you and The Head Of Security. “No.”

Tony cleared his throat.

Oh, don’t do it.

“Are you blending in well here, Natalie? Here at Stark Enterprises?”

You were so gonna throttle him.

“Your name is Natalie, isn’t it.”

Murder.

That’s what shone in your eyes, as your nostrils flared, just as it did Natasha’s.

“I thought you two didn’t get along,” the billionaire gestured between the two.

He better shut his mouth.

“No. That’s not so,” Pepper told him.

“It’s just me you don’t care for.” Pepper said nothing in reply. “No? Nothing?”

“Actually, while you’re here, maybe you and Natalie could discuss the matter of the personal belongings.”

“Absolutely,” Natasha said.

“Which loosely translates to, ‘get your shit out of my office’,” you informed the man.

“Yes, I got that. Thank you, Y/N.” You nodded your head once at him, with a fake smile plastered upon your face. You were so gonna kick his ass.

Tony watched as Pepper walked away. The blonde giving you a short nod as she passed you, and exited the office with Happy.

“I’m surprised you could keep your mouth shut,” Natasha said, as soon as the coast was clear. Making Tony spin around in the chair once again.

“Boy, you’re good. You are mind-blowingly duplicitous. How do you do it? You just tear things... you’re a triple imposter.” Tony turned to you. “Can you do that?”

“Of course I can, I'm a professional.”

“How did you even get into this business?”

“Later,” you told him.

“I’ve never seen anything like you,” he continued, turning back to Natasha, “Is there anything real about you? Do you even speak Latin?”

“Fallaces sunt rerum species,” Natasha responds immediately, gathering up documents, and beginning to take her leave.

“It turns out she can.” You shrugged.

“Which means? Wait. What? What did you just say?”

“It means you can drive yourself home or I can have you, and Miss Y/L/N, collected.”

“Wait what did I do?” You asked insulted, “Also, that’s not what she said.”

Natasha chose not to answer you. Instead, choosing to say, “Control him.”

“You think I can?” You asked the shorter woman, spinning to watch her walk away as you did.

“Hey!” Tony whined behind you. “You’re good!” he called to the red-head, as she slammed the door.

“Well...” You looked at Tony. “That was a shit-show. What the hell are you doing?” you asked, as he fiddled with one of Pepper’s ornaments. “What? Not talking to me?” Sighing he stood up, taking a bite out of a strawberry, before dumping the rest into the trash. “That’s a waste. And, yeah, no it's fine. I didn’t want any, anyway.”

You sighed, throwing your head back in exasperation, as you watched the man looking at the scale-model up against the wall. Who was currently peering through his hand, as if it was some sort of a telescope.

It really was like having a child dealing with him, sometimes... most times.

“Help me with this.”

“What?”

***

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THIS PLACE?!” you roared, taking in all of the destruction around.

Yep. You were never having kids.

“I made a new element!” Tony told you proudly.

“You. Made. A new. Element.”

“Yes? Why is that so hard to understand?”

“I-... How?!”

“It’s all... science stuff. You really want me to tell you?” Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

“No. Not really.”

You took another look around the place, slowly inhaling and exhaling, as you nodded your head. “Well. Well done.”

“Thanks. It worked,” Tony said, showing you his chest.

“Good, I’m glad.” You smiled. “Now... why are you assembling a suit?”

“Vanko’s still alive.”

You stared blankly at Tony for a moment. Watching him. Making sure that he wasn’t bullshitting you. When you deducted, that he was in fact, telling the truth, you asked, “He’s what?”

***

The absolute deafening cheering going on around you did nothing to drown out the sound of your heartbeat pounding away in your ears, as you were bent over your encased legs, hands on your knees, hoping that you could manage to pant away your incoming panic attack.

You had to.

You had a job to do right now.

Vaguely you registered Tony say, “We got trouble” inside of your metal helmet.

“Tony, there are civilians present,” Rhodey said, as you followed Tony on unsteady legs, “I’m here on orders. Let’s not do this right now.”

“God,” you breathed, “I hated every second of that.”

You mirrored the man you thought of as your brother, on Rhodey’s other side. Waving to the crowd, as Tony told you too.

“All these people are in danger. We gotta get them out of here,” Tony said, “You gotta trust me for the next five minutes.”

“Yeah, I tried that. I got tossed around your house, remember?”

“Listen, I think he’s working with Vanko.”

“Of course the sonofabitch is,” you growled, glaring at the man through the mask of your borrowed suit.

“Vanko’s alive?” Rhodey asked, slightly sceptical. Which he had a right too. God, knows how you didn’t want to belive Tony. But you knew he believed Tony, he would never lie about this.

As Tony squared up to Hammer, asking him about Venko. You scanned the crowd, looking for two people in particular.

“Found Natasha and Pepper,” you notified him.

“Who’s Natasha?” Rhodey asked. You we’re about to answer him, before he continued, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.”

“What’s up-? Holy shit!”

You jumped back in alarm, at the giant mini-gun attached to Rhodey’s back, moved to aim at Tony.

“Is that you?” Tony asked.

“No. That- I’m not doing that. I’m not doing that,” he stuttered, you could hear the panic rising in his voice, “I can’t move. I’m locked up. I’m locked up!”

"Motherfucker!" you hollered, stumbling back, as the military-themed drones pointed their arms towards Tony, too. Getting ready to fire.

"Get out of her. Go! This whole system's been compromised," Rhodey ordered.

"Y/N, with me," Tony said, "Let's take this outside."

"Oh, God, that means I have to fly again."

And with that, he blasted off, with you hot on his trail. As the drones and Rhodey's compromised suit started to rain fire on Tony, and consequently, you... and the glass ceiling. I think Vanko might have taken that phrase a little too seriously.

"Uh-Oh." You wished you hadn't looked down now. "Tony, incoming."

"Jarvis, break-in. I need to own him."

"Weird way to word it there, buddy," you quipped, "Are we really fucking doing this?"

"Yep. We're really fucking doing this."

***

"Tony?" You asked as you landed next to the crashed men, "How good did you say the filtration in the suit was?"

"It's pristine. Why?"

"Because I just pissed myself."

Just then Tony and Rhodey -Or rather, Rhodey's suit- began fighting.

"Oh, shit, Tony! How do you work this hunk of metal?!"

"Just go with your instinct's!"

"Oh, yeah. That helps!" you yelled, looking at your palms, where the repulsers lay. "Come on, you piece of shit! WORK!"

Well, you got it to work. However, the bright light shot out and hit you square in your mask. But, hey! You still got it two work! Silver-lining people!

"Ow," you uttered as you fell, landing on your back in a daze.

To say you were useless with these things, was an understatement.

You finally regained yourself, a few long seconds later. And had seen that Tony had managed to kick Rhodey's ass, as you got up on wobbly legs.

"Hey, guys? Can we not tell Natasha what just happened?"

"Not tell me what?"

You jumped at the sudden sound of her voice. Since when did she have access to talk through the suit?

"Nothing!" you spoke hastily.

Natasha hummed, not believing you, moving on to her next point, "Reboot complete. You got your best friend back."

"Thank you very much, Agent Romanoff."

"Well done with the new chest piece. I am reading significantly higher output and all your vitals look promising."

"Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you."

"This moment better last long," you mumbled.

"What do you mean you're not dying?" Pepper? When did she get here? "Did you say you're dying."

Oh, God. This is awkward. It's so awkward.

"Is that you? No, I'm not. Not anymore."

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I was going to tell you. I didn't want to alarm you."

"You were going to tell me? You really were dying?"

You were glad the suit hid the cringe on your face, as you were trapped here, to bare witness to this, a confession. Your metal hand coming up to scratch, uselessly, at your metal helmet, out of awkward discomfort.

"You didn't let me-"

"Why didn't you tell me that?" Pepper interrupted.

"I was gonna make you an omelette and tell you."

"Yeah, because omelettes make death confessions, so much better," you quipped, only to have it fall on deaf ears.

"Hey, hey. Save it for the honeymoon."

"Yeah, because they're gonna fight on their honeymoon..." You took all of a second to think about it, before changing your statement. "You know what, I don't doubt that."

"You've got incoming guys," Natasha continued. "Looks like the fight's coming to you."

"Awesome," you said sarcastically.

"Try to hit them and not yourself this time," Tony told you.

After this was done... he's a dead man.

"Pepper?"

Oh no, not this again.

"Are you okay now?"

"I'm fine. Don't be mad. I will formally apologize-"

"I am mad!" she yelled, and you sighed, getting into a fighting stance.

"-When I'm not fending off a Hammeroid attack.

"Fine."

"We could have been in Venice."

"And I could have been asleep."

"What is it with you and sleep?" Natasha asked.

"It's sleep!"

***

“She fights like a badass,” Happy breathed, inside you helmets. While you watched as drones landed all around you.

“I know, I’ve seen her.”

“Stalking much?” You could hear the smirk in her voice.

“You say that like you didn’t look me up when you found out I was an Agent.”

“You’re an Agent?!” Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper yelled at the same time.

“Old news guys, however makeshift terminators over here? New news.”

And then the fighting started.

Just like you would be on the field, splatters of battle coted you. But rather than blood, this time it was oil that painted your suit, as you tore, shot, and blew up drones.

Okay. So the suit wasn't all bad.

Tony told you and Rhodes to 'get down'. You watched as bright neon red lasers, chopped through the drones -and trees-, like a hot knife through butter.

"Can you show me how to do that?" you asked.

***

"Heads up. You got one more drone incoming," Natasha said. "This one looks different."

"What?" you asked, "Like it's got a makeover?"

"No," she said clearly, "Like the repulser signature is significantly higher."

"So, it's a boss drone then?"

Any reply Natasha had for you were cut off, thanks to the giant-sized Iron Man suit landing in front of you.

Oh, could this get any worse?

Yes. Yes, it could.

The real-life, yet no way friendly, Iron-Giant's face retracted back. Revealing, Ivan Vanko.

"God, that's not a good makeover."

"I swear to God, Y/N, I will disable your microphone."

"Hey, you two. Stop flirting," Rhodey said.

"Good to be back," Vanko said. Unknown to what you were saying, and, thankfully, to how your cheeks tinted red at Rhodey's words.

"Oh, this ain't gonna be good."

"Yeah, you're telling me," you agreed. "Ah! Whippy-things!" You moved back, startled, at Vankos sudden weapons.

"I got something special for this guy." Rhodey strutted up towards him. "I'm gonna bust his bunker with the Ex-Wife."

"The what now, please?"

"With the what?" You and Tony asked at the same time.

You waited in anticipation, watching as the shoulder of Rhodey's suit opened, and counted down. Blasting off a tiny missile right at Vanko. Which hit him. Then dropped to the ground, and fizzled out.

"Hammer tech?" Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah."

You flew up into the sky, shooting Vanko from above, as the other two fought on the ground. It was gonna take a lot to bring this sonofabitch down. Tony flew up to join you but didn't get far, as two bright blue whips latched themselves onto both you and Tony. Smashing Tony into a rock. And flinging you into a corner of the closed-off park. The last thing you heard before blacking out, was their voices shouting your name.

***

You awoke as you were flying through the air.

No, wait.

You weren't flying.

You were heaved over Rhoedy's shoulder, as he flew.

"What the hell's going on?"

"Hey, glad to see you're awake." Rhodey's smile could be heard in his voice. "The drones are set to self destruct."

"Did we beat him?"

"Yeah, we did," he said, as explosions were heard and seen, all across your view.

"Oh, my God! I can't take this anymore."

Great. Just when you had thought you had finally gained a minute of peace.

"You can't-?"

God, was this just their relationship?

"I can't take this."

"-Look at me."

Yep.

"My body, literally, cannot handle the stress." You peered up at Rhodey, from your seat on the floor, the man only shrugging at your silent question of, 'what the fuck?'. You both turning back to watch the two lovebirds have their spat. "I never know if you're gonna kill yourself or wreck the whole company."

“I think I did okay!” Tony defended himself when there was a sudden explosion far in the background.

“Dumbass,” you mumbled, only the man sitting beside you able to hear what you said. Him chuckling lightly at your words.

"I quit. I'm resigning," Pepper panted, "That's it."

"What did you just say? You're done?"

Did they really have to do this shit in front of you?

Did they really have to be so blind, not to notice you and Rhodey right beside them?

Did you really have to have no popcorn to enjoy, as you watched this?

"That's surprising," Tony said, walking towards her, "No, it's not surprising. I get it. You don't have to make any excuses."

Pepper stuttered. "I'm not making any excuses."

You eyes rolled as far back into your head as they possibly could. Luckily for you, missing some of what the bickering couple said.

"You deserve better."

"Well..."

"You've taken such good care of me." Were those... tears in Tony's voice? "I've been in a tough spot, but you got me through it, so... right?"

They muttered some words that you couldn't hear all that well.

Blah, Blah, Blah.

And then they kissed.

A look of disgust appearing upon your face. And you were thankful that you, in fact, did not have that popcorn, you whished for not long ago.

"I thought it was weird." You snapped back into reality, from your unexpected daze, at Rhodey's words.

Thank, God. They had stopped kissing.

"You guys look like two seals fighting over a grape."

“Hey, hey, now Rhodey." You put your hand up to the man. "That's an insult to seals and grapes."

Rhodey laughed beside you, as the previously kissing couple grew uncomfortable and fidgety.

"Don't even try to make excuses," you told them.

"Yeah, we heard the whole thing."

“You two should get lost,” Tony says to you and Rhodey.

"We were here first," the Colonel defended. "Get a roof."

"Yeah, and I'm fine, by the way. Thank's for asking." You smirked.

"I thought you two were out of one-liners."

"That's the last one."

"Speak for yourself," you said standing up. "Oh, also. I am never getting into one of these flying hell suits ever again.”

“Aww, don't say that. You’ll hurt its feelings.”

"I don't care."

"Oh, yeah? Well, how are you gonna get home then?"

"After I get home," you clarified. "I am never getting into one of these things, ever again."

“Don’t lie. You like the suit. Now,” he said, gesturing his head to the side, “Go get your girl.”

“What? There’s no way I’m going anywhere near one of those things.”

Oh, she was still here, was she?

“Oh, c’mon Romanoff.” You smirked, taking flight, “Fly away with me.”

“Not a chance.”

You landed in front of the red-head, exiting the building. Startling her as you did.

"Agent Romanoff." You smirked, throwing your arms out by your sides. If she didn't know better, Natasha would have assumed you were Tony. "Your ride has arrived."

"Get away from me."

***

“So...” you started, looking towards the red-head standing beside you, looking out onto the ocean below you, “Wanna go out on a date?”

Natasha turned to face you properly, a small smile on her face, “I thought you’d never ask, Y/L/N.” Stepping closer, her hand on your bicep, she continued, “Tonight. We’ll watch a movie in my cabin.”

You smiled.

“Only a movie,” she clarified, “No funny business.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Romanoff.”

#original work #original fanfiction #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark #marvel #MCU

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one-abuse-survivor · 4 years

Note

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken.

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl.

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't.

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph!

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

#Anonymous #Vent #Ask #Abuse tw #Abuse #Abusive parents #Emotional abuse #Long post #Threats #Guilt tripping #guilt tripping tw #Threats tw #therapy mention #christianity mention #neglect mention #(I'm nonbinary btw but it's not like my grandfather knows or would care 🙃)

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radrush · 5 years

Note

JJBA for the meme

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing i think most people know this but each part is really different from the last so even if part one isn’t your thing you might really like the later parts - but you should still watch part one | 5 star recommendation i love it so much tho

fav characters: josuke is probably my favorite jojo i gotta be honest i just like part four a lot in general but i also think josuke is definitely the coolest and funniest and and kindest (healing abilities obviously) jojo, maybe also the cleverest aside from his dad. he also sets rohan’s house on fire so that’s a bonus

i also love rohan even though he sucks and picks fights with kids and licks spiders because he’s such a queen and he spent like 20 grand to recreate a set from Pretty Woman (1990) starring Julia Roberts inside his house

Mista is probably my favorite Passione team member sex pistols are seriously one of my favorite stands they can redirect bullets but Mista still ends up shooting himself all the time when he faces any stand that has any defensive capabilites whatsoever. He’s also the best because he stops at critical moments to feed cured meats to sex pistols

WAMUU

WAMUU best jojo antagonist, best anime antagonist of all time idc he’s the best

Bruno is obviously great but that’s also most of his personality

R.E.O. Speedwagon

least fav characters: jotaro i honestly have kind of a love/hate relationship with because on one hand he sucks as a character but he also has the coolest most overpowered stand and its just stupid satisfying to see some complete bullshit enemy just get ora’d to death. jotaro’s whole thing of being able to overcome basically any obstacle or ability through sheer willpower and like literally bending the laws of the universe feels like the natural culmination of the attitude the early series takes towards the increasingly absurd capabilities of its characters and its ultimate focus on the triumph of the will which is what makes part three and jotaro so important and popular but it’s also kind of lame at the same time. jotaro and star platinum in part three basically just operate under the pretense of “whatever you do i can do better” which is definitely a thing that they and araki explored well but that still feels kinda lame to meand then when he grows up he’s a bit of a better character

but still lame

uh idk who am i supposed to say? Kira? Really liked David Bowie as an anime villain tbh i think he stands out as a main antagonist compared to his predecessors because unlike Dio who had an aggrandizing self interest to gain power over others and make them do his bidding and the Pillar Men who want to rule over all of humanity and even have a sense of warrior’s honor in the case of Wamuu, Kira is just a slippery slimy gross dude who wants to hole up in his house and be a serial killer and put severed hands on sandwiches and go to his job every day and not be bothered by anyone like that’s a normal fucking thing to do. He doesn’t even interact with others enough to force them to work for him like his dad is recruiting the enemy stand users without his knowledge which is maybe why part 4 feels vacant to many people because of who Kira is as a villain. Dio got slimy twisted fucks to work for him, and Kira is basically one of those slimy twisted fucks but who would obviously never work for any one else so he’s stuck on his own. But I think the proportionality of Kira as a lesser villain as part of the overall scaling back in intensity and the stakes of the conflict in part 4 compared to previous parts is something that enamors me of diu. We got a lot of interesting human characters in part 4 because of it and I think it was a good direction for the series to go after part 3

Rohan (again)

fav relationship: okyasu and josugay

josuke has a good dynamic with jotaro his nephew (lol) and I like how his relationship with Rohan progresses as a result of the burning of the Pretty Woman furniture

Polnareff and Kakyoin just for the handshake

Jospeh/Caesar

fav moment:“You can’t pay back what you owe.... with money.”

ROAD ROLLER DA

joseph pretending to be DIO in the ambulance

“I feel completely refreshed”

headcanons/theories: I already wrote a lot about what i think the show is about and where is succeeds but i also know this: my stand would be Kid Charlemagne like the Steely Dan song and it would allow me to manipulate crystals

unpopular opinion: jonathan is boring. this might be a popular opinion but I feel like i’m not supposed to say it lol. part 1 is way more fun because of Dio and speedwagon and zeppeli than it is because of jonathan.

how’d you find it: i’m on the internet

random thoughts: i should buy the bruno vans with the zipppppppppers on them those are dope

#poast #answered #jjba #holamarciano

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metazensae · 7 years

Note

Nadia and Lucio for the arcana asks! (@pocusilla-flanchette)

HI POCUS!!!!! *waves*

Nadia - already answered!! :)

Lucio - what do you think of every character in game? give your honest opinion of each one of them

Under the cut bc spoilers? and also this is LONG

Asra - I love him. I love everything about him. I will fight to protect him. I will marry him. I have such strong feelings for Asra, and it’s DISGUSTING AND HARD TO EXPLAIN. I think he gets unfairly criticized because of his aloofness and vagueness of his answers. Honestly tho, I think people have a right to their own privacy, and if he can’t answer, he can’t.

I have been in love with him from the very first sight of his sprite in the game. My heart LITERALLY ACHED when he goes the “wrong way” in one of those dream visions. I can go on and on and on, but I won’t. Let me just say, he has proven to be exactly the type of character I imagined he was from the beginning and I love him for all his greatness and his flaws. No one is perfect, but he’s pretty damn close to my ideal boyfriend - and the stabby stabby blood mage stuff was RIGHT DOWN MY ALLEY I WAS CHEERING MY BOY ON FUCK HIM UP ASRA YEH YEH YEH

Let me leave you with this (and this was more applicable before what we learned in the most recent update) - I don’t care what Asra did. He could be the personification of red plague itself and I would still protect him. He could hand deliver red plague DIRECTLY INTO MINE EYE and I would love him still. The depths of my love for Asra cannot be measured.

No Asra hate will be tolerated here.

Faust - ADORABLE. WILL PROTECT. It took me a while to like her tho. I didn’t have specific feelings until the latest update when she started talking to me. I will protect Faust with my life now tho. Precious baby.

Julian - Ahhhhhhh JULIAN. JULES. Julian is attractive and sexy af, but I’m not … impressed. He has this really fake playboy exterior and honestly, that’s a huge turn off for me. BUT! He has a good heart. He saved my life! That’s good! BUT! He has a tendency to be overbearing and overprotective, and uh;;;; that’s…. bad! I have such mixed feelings over him right now because he reminds me of a not so good past experience I’ve had. He’s a sweetheart, but I really wish he would move slower and respect my boundaries better.

I don’t think he killed Lucio tho, and I’ll do my best to prove his innocence. He’s just realllly hecking unlucky. And stupid.

He needs to let his heart (or dick??) do less of his decision-making.

Muriel - I don’t know enough about Muriel to have a real opinion about him. He BIG. He THICC. HE HOT. I can say that much. That’s about as far as it goes.

He did show a lot of concern about Asra’s safety, so he gets points for that in my book. I’ll withhold any further evaluation of him until we get more.

Nadia - Well. I don’t have good feelings about Nadia. People gifting me things, ESPECIALLY expensive things, make me feel very uncomfortable. How can I ever repay that? I can’t. So I have to pay in other ways… and I don’t like owing people anything.

I think Nadia is pure tho. I want to believe she is doing what she believes is the right thing, but idk. I never fully trusted her in the beginning, but I pledged to help and all that… but her repeated questioning of my loyalty got me suspicious and anxious.

Worse? I got REAL MAD when she stole the card from me. ALL TRUST VANISHED. I WAS LIVID. I’d have abandoned her immediately if I had gotten the card back right then and there. I was ready to write her off for taking my things, particularly a SPECIAL gift from Asra.

But she apologized and gave her reasons, so I guess we’re ok now. I’m still not cool with that tactic, but I can understand why she did it.

I don’t dislike Nadia, but I don’t like her either. Neutral.

Lucio - Oh man. I love his GHOST - lemme tell you. The scene where you meet the ghost has been my absolute favorite part of the game thus far. The way the ghost pines for the loss of his perfect body, the feeling of heat as he approaches due to his violent death by fire… gosh he’s just so perfect as a ghost??

As a dude? Idk, he’s so far exactly what I pictured too? Like who wouldn’t be yelling on their deathbed about someone’s incompetence at saving your life? Also he’s a ruler? Also he was a merc? Also he’s just.. extra? He was a little bit rougher than I was expecting, but eh. So far so good, I guess.

Also he’s hot. It bothers me how attracted I am to him. And his ghost. And his fucking furry portrait. Someone, help me.

Portia -She’s ok. She’s got a good heart. But I have questions. Why did she go to work at the Palace after her brother was accused for murder? I know she likes to snoop and gossip (who doesn’t), but I don’t think she did it out of concern for Julian. I wonder WHAT IS IN THE PALACE that has made the Devorak siblings stay in this place? Other than that, I don’t really have any feelings for her. I’m honest with her tho bc I’m honest in general.

Valerius lol - Rude exterior bc he’s a hecking noble. I believe his apology, and I trust him. If you can’t tell, I really love characters that are not so… um… obviously good. I trust them a lot more than the ones who seem GOOD/unproblematic bc I feel like they’re more realistic/honest.

*Ahem* Wine papi is welcome to spill on me any day.

Mazelinka - OH GOSH I LOVE HER. SO DONE with Julian’s thirsty ass and bad luck; trying to marry him off so she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. I really love her. I could imagine her irl. I hope we see her again. Precious.

#pocus #the arcana game #Muse-Q&A

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jess-oh · 5 years

Text

Reflection

Hey journal!

Wow, it’s been a while since I actually typed here. And even longer since I wrote “Reflection” with a capital “R”! Weird.

Anyway, I am currently sitting in a Starbucks in Evanston and I am being so much more productive out here than I ever was back in my apartment. It’s just way too hot to do anything! I’m so stressed over my ever increasing electricity bill the longer I keep the AC on and because it’s so hot, I’m too cranky and lazy to actually do anything! I think I’m going to start going out to local coffee shops more often so I can actually get work done and be productive! I don’t usually enjoy staying at school until too late just because it’s such a long way home but I do think getting out of the apartment would be good for me. It’d motivate me to actually do things and because I haven’t been home all day, I’ll also be that much more motivated to actually clean up around the apartment and do things! I’m not used to being home all the time and I just end up feeling unproductive and lazy and restless. I’m going to start getting out more so I can actually do more and be more productive! Maybe I’ll message the Movement summer chat letting them know that I’ll be studying in public throughout the week and that they’re always free to join me! ^_^

I also realized that my meetings with P. Josh and Amanda throughout the week as well as our MAST meeting every other Saturday served as the perfect opportunity for me to be very honest and intentional and vulnerable and rely on them for help and advice or to just vent. Without those sessions, it’s harder to just approach P. Josh for help casually. Unless it’s just us two in a car together or something which hasn’t been happening that often anymore. Especially since I live so much closer to Evanston now. There’s no huge reason for me get a ride anymore because I’m not even on the train for that long anymore. It makes me a little sad and has made me realize that I’m actually not as close to P. Josh as I originally thought. It’s definitely a lot easier for me to suddenly hit up Amanda or meet up with her throughout the week. Suddenly hitting up P. Josh... a part of me always feels bad. He’s already got a lot on his own plate and in having to take care of so many people on MAST now as well as understanding his own currently struggles and battles, I feel bad reaching out to him and just adding more onto his plate. I don’t want him to just respond to me out of obligation and I’m afraid that he would. And plus, I feel like I’ve already bothered him enough recently. Right now, there’s isn’t anything overarching on my heart that I need to bring up to him. Besides, yknow, maybe moving to NorCal in the future. But I also know he wants me to stay in Chicago at Lakeview and grow with the ministry and invest and change the culture. Which, I do honestly want to do now and am hopeful about. I have hope that more people from Movement will start going into Catalyst instead of leaving instead. I do. I do have hope for the future and if I leave Lakeview, it’ll be because I’m leaving Chicago. Not because I just want a different church. I know that Movement will be hard this coming year but am genuinely happy and know that I am well cared for by many adults and other people. I do feel a community at Lakeview. I might not always feel it in Movement, but I do feel it in Lakeview.

And I also don’t want him to freak out or be sad/discouraged when I tell him I’m going to move away.

I also want to bring up what I realized with Amanda to him. When he disagreed with me about what the author was saying, I felt really defensive and offended. And looking back, I was definitely in the wrong and I was just in a bad mood that day anyway. But it is true that I wasn’t upset bc of the actual content or what the author said. I was upset because I wanted P. Josh to support me and tell me that I was right and that the author didn’t understand my personal struggle or how much I had tried. I wanted him to validate my feelings. But I know that if he had told me those things, it wouldn’t have been actually factually correct and his answer was totally justified. But yeah, I just wanted to be validated by him. But because I understand the 100% justifiable and valid reasoning behind the answer he did give me, I don’t feel like there’s any use in bringing it up to him.

Also, when Grace An mentioned that P. Josh and I co-dependent with each other... it really stuck with me because I never thought of it like that before. But I guess we are. And honestly, I know he’s only human and only four years older than me so he’s still learning a lot and not yet totally mature or developed. But it is kind of a burden for me to be with him sometimes. Because I try to take care of him too. In not telling him certain things so as to not stress him out. Or trying to just be there for him through church events or activities. It really breaks my heart to always see him get so discouraged and I want to do my best to make sure he doesn’t feel that way. Whether that’s by offering a different perspective or giving words of encouragement/affirmation or just by showing up physically in person so he knows it isn’t for nothing. And it is kind of burdensome trying to be a good friend to him and doing all these things for him too. Because a part of me just wants to be selfish and rely on him always and look up to him for guidance and to be a constant strong figure in my life that I can always look up to. But he isn’t. Instead, he’s more like a friend. I also noticed that I always call him P. Josh to others but say, “Joshwa” to his face. Because I see him as a friend and an equal when I see him in person. But a part of me also has a lot of respect for him and will always acknowledge his status as pastor. Especially because I see how much work he puts into the ministry.

I really shouldn’t be spending so much money and going to coffee shops so often because my mom gave me $200 to spend for shopping(I ended up only need $2 tho lol). Only $50 of the money I’ve been spending is actually mine! I don’t want to have to owe her so much money once I get paid again T 0 T I’ll just be perpetually broke!

Sidenote: I really hope I can pay off my credit card debt soon T____T

Please pay me back Chalana. Please. I want to have trust and faith in you. Please show me that I was wrong and that you were genuinely just trying to do your best in getting by. That you didn’t just betray me. That it wasn’t all just a lie.

I also feel like I disappointed Jenny in not being able to deliver on the 3k/5k poster. Especially since she already overhyped me to everyone at the VBS dinner, I feel bad not being able to do my part. But I am hoping that I can sometime during this week. I just want to be able to say no when I don’t have time or can’t come up with anything creative. I thought this was in our original agreement. That gives me the freedom to do things as much as I can and help as I please. And she still has the security of getting her projects done by someone even if it isn’t me! But if I always have to do all her projects even when I can’t, it’s more burdensome and draining than anything and I’m just left feeling bad and like a failure and awful that I disappointed her. I don’t want that. I do really value our relationship together and although I am starting to see her more as a human instead of as a mother, I do still perceive her a strong maternal figure in my life. And I don’t want to let her down.

Sigh.

Too late to stop by the Apple store and I’m not really in the mood to stop by Target anymore. I’ll just go tomorrow.

I do, absolutely, need to prepare my curriculum and class for Sunday though!!! D:< We actually had a fun time in class last Sunday. I want to do that again this week. I just need to dedicate the necessary time and energy to the activity and plan out the class well! And also get better at names! = A =

And, I still need to draw my new weeks in my bullet journal! Hopefully I can find the motivation and energy to actually do that when I get home today. Just get it done, Jessica! Don’t procrastinate! You know you’ll regret it later! Just get it done today and now so you don’t have to worry about it later!!!

Anyway, Thank you for listening to my rant journal! I think it was much needed to just get all these thoughts out of my head and onto paper.

Last thing: I can’t tell if I’m annoying Amanda or if she genuinely doesn’t mind my constant texting and she just isn’t gr8 at replying quickly. I’ll try and clear that up with her soon though.

But yeah, thanks journal! Have a good rest of your day~ ^_^

#reflection

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gocasualrunawaycollection-blog · 6 years

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cincinnati car insurance quote

"cincinnati car insurance quote

cincinnati car insurance quote

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I am a healthy 18 year old. Soon to move out of home and onto college. I plan for the future. I know how important it is to pre plan, I myself and going into the funeral business. What Life Insurance company offers affordable and reliable policies of $100,000 for a healthy young 18 year old male? How much would the monthly premium cost?""

Average teen drivers insurance cost?

about how much would it cost to get insurance on a 16 year olds car? does adding it to the parents insurance make it less?

Monthly car insurance?

I need to find the cheapest car insurance for one month of coverage. I am working to get my car re-registered after being salvaged, so I don't have a lot of money to spend on car insurance this month. Since I live in CA and need to drive the car to get inspected, it needs insurance. All of the places I've checked have monthly rates, but I have to put a lot down and I can't afford it. Please advise.""

Speeding Ticket Insurance Rates?

So recently I received a speeding ticket. Because I'm a minor when I went to traffic court the judge told me that if I went to traffic school my ticket would not be reported to the DMV. So I went to traffic school and passed and all that jazz so my question is whether I report this as an incident when I look for insurance (I'm looking at motorcycles for when I go to college) even though it does not appear on my record. Thanks Guys.

Can I have car insurance under my parent's name?

Meaning, I am 17 on a probationary license. My parents and I currently have Allstate Insurance and I'm a part time driver on mom's vehicle. They recently bought me a car from my instructor's daughter. I would like to be an all-by-myself driver under Liberty Mutual, being they've shown me the absolute best rate, hands down. So question is- can I have car insurance under my parent's name with Liberty Mutual, as they keep Allstate? (My policy, just under their name)""

Which cars/models have the lowest insurance rates?

cincinnati car insurance quote

What is the cheapest economical car i can buy in the UK?

i want cheap insurance, tax and fuel consider that i am 18 years old dont want a box under the car""

Question regarding rental car insurance in the US?

Even though I don't live in the US I have a valid credit card issued in the US, I will be traveling to the US and renting a car I have asked and been told by the credit card company that using the credit card provides insurance. I have two questions: 1.- Would the insurance be valid even if I don't have a US driver licence? 2.- Would the car rental agency allow me not to purchase the insurance even though again I don't have a US drivers licence?""

Health Insurance and im currently pregnant?

I live in Orlando, Fl and I'm pregnant, is there any insurance company that i can get a health insurance now?""

Whats cheap car to insure and run?

ive been trying to find cheap cars to insure, and it comes up with 2010 models that the car costs 12,000 i want something old cheap reliable for fuel car cost and insurance, i dont really care what year but im guessing the older cars like 1980s will be cheaper""

Health insurance in California?

My wife and I will be moving to California in December. We've heard that health insurance is more expensive there than in other states. My question is this: If I'm unable to get a job that offers health insurance as a benefit and I'm forced to buy my own policy - about (exact quotes not necessary) how much should I expect to pay monthly? I know there are a lot of different kinds of policies. I am open to any information you may have about whatever kind of policy you are familiar with. Please indicate what kind of policy it is. I'm a 37 year old male (non-smoker, average BMI) My wife is 30 (non-smoker, good BMI) Any information would be appreciated! Thank you!""

What are some cheap to insure (0-1500and cheap to buy (between 0-1000) that don't look like crap ?

i want a car for my 17th birth day to gop to college and work in but all the cars ive looked at are stupid prices to insure, any ideas ?""

Car insurance for a 17?

How do. I'm 17 and have just passed my driving test. I will be buying a 1.2/1.4 Fiat Punto soon on a 56 plate. How much roughly will this cost me on insurance? TY VM

Why are my home insurance premiums so high?

When we bought our house we were paying 350 a year, we have not had any claims at all and insurance kept going up. so we swiched companies and now paying 720 a year, and when im quoted from every other company its anywhere from 700-1000 a year. our house is only worth 70000, my mom pays 350 a year and her house is worth 250000 with outbuildings. Why are my prices so much higher when i have not had any claims? we are in illinois""

How to get car insurance as a self dependent college student in CA?

I need to look for cheap car insurance asap, I am a resident of Callifornia, I will get my drivers licence the 20th of this month and I need the car insurance before the 24th. I figure I have exactly one day and a half to do it so I can finish my car registration before the 24th , when the past registration is due, please help me !""

How much is average tenant insurance?

I'm doing this project for school and I have to pretend I'm renting a house for the first time so i need to figure out all the costs and stuff. What would be the average price/month for tenant insurance? if it helps, i live in BC, Canada.""

6 week car insurance for 18 year old?

I share a car with my twin brother, which means i get the car every other day. My older brother is having a hip replacement so won't be able to drive for 6 weeks. He said i could ...show more""

Ok im 22 years old and i want to buy BMW 3 SERIES 325 Ci 2dr Convertible how much would my insurance cost?

Can I buy a used car without insurance?

I'm only 18 and I got accepted for a car loan. It's about $200 a month but I can afford the car insurance rate now. I'm buying the car from a dealership. Can I buy the car then drive it home and let it sit till I get insurance? Or can they deliver the car? If I drive it home rate away wouldn't it be like a test drive for the used car?

How much does high risk auto insurance cost?

How to select health insurance in the US?

I recently moved back to the states after living overseas for an extended period of time. I've started working as an independent consultant and need to find/sign up for health insurance. I've done a bit of internet research and contacted the groups I'm familiar with in the area I live, but it all seems absurdly expensive. What's the right way to approach finding an affordable plan that suits my budget and lifestyle?""

How should I insure my now deceased father's house?

My father has recently passed and his house is currently vacant. It is a small home only around 1,000 sq. ft. It hasn't been estimated recently but I would guess it's value around $60,000. Homes in the area are going for foreclosure for less than $30,000. My son plans on living in the home a year from now. How should we insure the home in the mean time? If we can find someone we know and trust we may rent it out in the mean time, if not, how should we? The home is currently in my sister and I's name. What do we need to do to keep costs down? I'm talking about insurance and taxes. Thanks for any advice!""

What kind of vehicle would have the cheapest insurance?

I need to buy a new car, and have pretty high insurance. I was wondering what types of vehicles would have the cheapest insurance for a newer car (2000+)""

Temporary Motocycle Insurance?

Does anyone know any insurance company's that can provide cover for 2/3 months? I'm turning 25 in August and can save a few hundred 's by waiting and the bike will be securely locked off the road until then. I know ebike can do it, but I'd like something to compare their quote to. THANKS!!""

Life and Health Insurance Exam- I have taken it like 5 times and not been able to pass it?

I have been doing this online course license2go.com, and it has a lot of good information but it seems like on the test, there is a lot of stuff I didn't ever see when taking the test. Is there any alternative way to getting a license? Like online? If not, what are some other good ways to study for it? Thanks""

How much would insurance cost for a Porsche Boxster 2013?

I'm 18 my mom offered a Porsche boxster 2013 for my first car. She's putting a down payment and co signing it for me. But I was wondering how much the insurance would cost? Please help? And also if I should stick with this car or not?

Which job has cheapest car insurance?

what job do i have to get to get real cheap car insurance

Affordable Health Insurance for a single adult in Minnesota? I need help/advice!!!!?

I just moved to Minnesota and need health insurance but don't even know where to start. I know I dont qualify for Minnesota Care because I make too much. I can't get health insurance through my new job yet because I just started and will qualify for that in 6 months but I need medical help now. Any advice on what I should do?

What are the cheapest cars for car insurance in England?

What are the cheapest cars for car insurance in England? I am just about to pass my test and don't care if the car looks like a piece of ****. I want it to have cheap car insurance. I'm thinking Peugeot 206 or something but I have no idea about cars? Thanks guys.

How can I get cheaper car insurance?

Im 17 and just got my full uk driving licence and got a car it's a Subaru 2.0r sport but insurance is 7-8k for my own policy but 3500 if I am a second driver but is that Ilegal

What is the best car insurance company in NY?

cincinnati car insurance quote

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