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monsterenergysimp · 4 years

Text

Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats super cool actually

i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

[link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x y/n #youtubers #caffeinated ramblings

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4dtk · 4 years

Text

b’day boy

anon: “hi hi hi hi!!! how’re you!! idk if you’re requests are on but!!! can i request smth where jaehyun thinks the reader forgot abt this bday bc she didn’t text him all day but she actually flys to seoul to see him?? basically johnny helped surprise him!!” quick pretend johnny is living on the same floor as jaehyun for this fic. enjoy anon! :-)

“hey! happy birthday, man,” johnny greets jaehyun, slapping him on the back as the birthday boy answers with a nod and a tired smile.

the dorm’s still quiet in the morning, save for the boiling water and the white noise from beyond the flat. the taller male doesn’t miss the way jaehyun’s smile drops, eyeing his phone a meter away from him in case the plan’s busted.

“hm… hyung, have you heard from (y/n) lately? i haven’t gotten her breakfast text, which is weird…”

jaehyun exits the messaging app for the umpteenth time, seeing if there was anything wrong with the internet or with his phone itself.

johnny shakes his head at the question, going back to prepare his coffee as he struggles to hold back a smile.

“sorry, jae, i’m not so sure about that.”

he saves his phone as it lit up right as you messaged, spamming to the poor guy about nerves and bizarre situations due to your overthinking mind.

(y/n) the homie: ?????? what ???? the hell do i wear!!!!!!!!

(y/n) the homie is typing…

(y/n) the homie: i’m trying to hard rn not to click on jaehyun’s name lol

(y/n) the homie: unnnnf i feel so bad johnny

johnny 🔥🥱🕴: u know for someone that has my contact name in wack ass emojis, i’m not gonna help you fashion-wise

johnny 🔥🥱🕴: don’t worry k, plus it was ur idea!!!! how’s the packing coming along

(y/n) the homie: haha very funny, i am already on the plane mf

“john, hyung, you already made the reservation for tonight yea?” jaehyun asks sleepily, getting up from his comfy position on the table solely to get a chance at johnny’s coffee.

the other hums, having had made reservations for 12 people. sicheng was joining the boys for dinner tonight and taeyong was bringing his girlfriend as well, leaving one last seat for you.

one last text catches johnny’s attention, hoping all will turn out well tonight.

(y/n) the homie: i’m taking off rn, pls follow the plan or i think i’ll actually cry

johnny 🔥🥱🕴: is typing…

johnny 🔥🥱🕴: overdramatic. i will, just focus on getting to korea safe yea

you leave it as that, buckling in and settled in quick well once the plane had reached a certain altitude.

the present you prepared couldn’t leave your mind, debating here and there whether jaehyun would like it or not.

would something go wrong? we didn’t fight before this, did we?

your thoughts travel everywhere, trying your best to relax while you find a film to distract you. soon, you ease into the movie and then, into a comfortable sleep.

it’s almost evening when the captain announces the landing in a few more minutes, bringing you to open the window.

although the clouds seemed to dance around the plane and the deep blue of the sky takes over the day, the sight provides little comfort as you practice your korean in the plane.

you repeat the restaurant’s address in your head even through immigration, steps unknowingly speeding up at how excited you were.

on the other hand, jaehyun gets more and more worried at the lack of texts, eyeing the single one sent early in the morning at 3am, while you bid each other goodbye on facetime. nothing seems to get him out of his daze, having been reminded several times of the car that was waiting for him.

as the manager wishes him a happy birthday, jaehyun could only thank him half-heartedly, staring down at his phone with a frown.

johnny 🔥🥱🕴: oh man you gotta have like a full on dance number when u enter or something. your mans can’t stop sighing at his phone like it’s a magic mirror

(y/n) the homie: oh nooo, crap, i feel so bad. i’m omw, gotta thank u for going over my korean before this flight

johnny 🔥🥱🕴: you learnt it from the best

(y/n) the homie: 🙄🙄🙄

your eyes pass through many different shops and districts, observing the busy streets of korea and it’s liveliness and wondering if you will ever be up to living in such an exciting country.

it was a long drive, your feet unable to stop moving while you kept yourself calm by counting the exchanged money over and over. a notification from @johnnyjsuh lights up your phone and brings you out of your anxiety for a bit, the instagram story filling up the screen as he records the grand restaurant that they would be dining in.

johnny 🔥🥱🕴: you here?

(y/n) the homie: yes, almost. this person right here is very jumpy and tense

johnny 🔥🥱🕴: breathe, i’ll give u the green light soon

(y/n) the homie: kk

with one foot out the cab, you find yourself needing to calm your heart, feeling the familiar heat and adrenaline rush through your body at seeing your boyfriend.

you eye your phone for the last time, entering on johnny’s cue to surprise jaehyun. with his back turned to the event room, your lips naturally curl into a smile as you watch him through the glass panel.

the gentle jazz pouring from the speakers give the atmosphere its intended ambience, as the boys catch up with sicheng and others converse with each other. they keep their cool according to plan as you enter silently, the gift clutched under your arm tightly.

“guess who?”

with your hands over his eyes, you can almost feel his shock.

“what... no way,” jaehyun’s jaw drops, gaining some laughs from the members as he turns around rapidly. his latches onto your smile, the corners of his lips slowly stretching into a grin before you stumble back at his embrace.

jaehyun holds you tight, as if you’d vanish once you left this room. his arms were wound around you all the way by the next minute, leaving you with no opportunity to breathe.

“babe, i can’t breathe,” you blurt out, making the male release you almost immediately before you attack with your own hug, loving how you could feel the rumble of his chest as he giggled.

“was everyone in on this?” you nodded as he turned to his members, most of them donning bright, sly smiles and jungwoo even winking when he met his eyes.

“y’all are incredible,” jaehyun throws his head back in laughter, an arm naturally encircling your waist as you pile your present with the other’s, making your way to your seat after.

dinner is filled with joviality and loud conversation, even coaxing johnny into revealing that he was the ringleader of the plan. the birthday boy applauds his subtlety, bringing the night to a close an hour or two later as each member finishes their share of the cake.

“i’ll come in later, you guys should head back first,” jaehyun states, pressing a kiss to your temple as the others bid you goodbye.

the lean into your boyfriend feels natural, the cool breeze brushing past your face as he interrogates you about you ghosting him.

“i was so worried, i honestly thought you forgot about me.”

you chuckle, “do you think i really could? when there’s valentine decorations everywhere? i wouldn’t forget it even if it wasn’t valentine’s,” you mused, matching up with jaehyun’s steps.

“it would be sad if my own girlfriend couldn’t remember when i was born.”

the two of you fall quiet, enjoying each other’s company as you stroll around the park near the restaurant.

“say, did you like the surprise?”

“like? baby, i loved it,” jaehyun pulls you in, the walk stopped short while he holds your freezing fingers, “thank you.”

you answer in the form of a smile, tippy-toeing to reach his lips halfway as the moon shines on. it settles your heart in familiarity and warmness, never losing that giddy fondness whenever you were with jaehyun.

“i’d travel anywhere to be where you are, jung jaehyun.”

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permanentconundrum · 3 years

Text

9/26/21

8:31am Woke up after a couple dreams. I’m going to watch church from home this morning, I’m still not ready to go in person. Feeling a little anxious about just watching online but still looking forward to it. I did the quick breathing exercise through Headspace this morning and it was alright. I also watched the beginning of the video called the wake up and it was about mindfully using technology. The action I made after watching was to turn off notifications for some apps, like Facebook. I’ll look forward to their Sunday Scaries podcast today.

8:38am I’ve been enjoying and seeing benefits from breathing exercises. I think it helps me relax and practice mindfulness. Mindfulness can help me manage stress and anxiety and learn self awareness about how I think. I’m learning to study how it feels to breathe. I might come back to thinking about this

8:43 am going to turn on Sirius XMU. Tenderness by Jay Som was on when I turned on the radio. I find this radio station to be nice to listen to because the DJs are chill and interesting and know their music. Don’t mean to turn this into an ad, but it’s ok, this is just a journal entry. Calling this an ad is a bit excessive, just noting that I found a radio station I like.

8:50am Kind of looking forward to the day. Momentarily felt a bit stressed out. Journaling does help. I kind of want to learn more about the benefits of journaling so I can better make use of the practice. I currently mainly use it to catalog my thoughts, but it would be nice to dig deeper into stuff and maybe find some material for art.

8:55am I can tell I’m conscious that I’ll be posting this online. I kind of wish that wasn’t the case and I could just share my thoughts but it’s ok, it’s a learning experience to share like this. Anyway, it’s time to get set up for church online.

12:05pm Ate some leftover pizza this noon, I was hungry but now I feel better. Bible class after church should be interesting this year, about the book of Revelation. I’ll be interested to learn about it.

Started listening to XMU again just now, a good Sunday activity. I’m going to try reading Refuse by Julian Randall. I’ve been looking forward to reading it but expect it to be kind of intense. Thinking about going to get a coffee in Minneapolis before the Vikings game. We’ll see what happens, I have chores to do too.

12:44pm Read a few poems from the beginning of the book. I put it down and am still listening to the radio. Clairo is on, the song Sophia. It’s kind of an intense book and I wasn’t really feeling affected by it very fully, but maybe I don’t have to in the first reading. Yeah, I really like listening to the radio as a Sunday activity, I find it relaxing. Texting my mom now. She’s preparing for teachers conference today and going to watch the Vikings play. She reminded me of exercise and going to the gym. That would be a good self-care practice too. Maybe I’ll go for a walk. I think I’ve decided I’ll go into Minneapolis for that coffee before the game. Now listening to Rae Street by Courtney Barnett. I like the song.

3:55pm watching the Vikings game and it’s on commercial. I did end up getting coffee in Minneapolis. Feeling a little tired. I should do some chores while I watch.

7:23pm While watching the game, I did a few chores which was productive. I also went on my phone during the game and explored the Headspace app. One thing I did was learn about chronotypes. It is defined in your DNA and determines your best schedule for productivity throughout the day. I am a bear which is the most common of four types. I could still learn more about what it actually means. It is mainly related to a sleeping and eating schedule. I’ll get the name of the guy who talked about this in a book I haven’t read called the Power of When. The guy is Dr. Michael Breus for what it’s worth. Kind of interesting to me. Related is my experience trying to be more mindful about how I have settings in my phone. I took off notifications for a few apps including Facebook which has been nice. I haven’t cared about Facebook alerts in quite a while. Related to Headspace, I also listened to the Sunday Scaries podcast episode from today. It’s a short podcast with a short breathing exercise and helpful tips for the coming week. This time was an introduction basically to the work I’ve been doing using the app for working through anxiety. It’s just the start, but it’s encouraging to think about how far I’ve come in that Headspace program. I still have a ways to go to get mindfulness to help even more with anxiety, and using breathing exercises as well.

One other thing I did during the game was start shopping for a car which is not a task I enjoy really. It’ll be fun to update my ride lol but also used car prices have risen and it’s uncertain if they’ll go back down. I’ll try to keep looking regularly for several weeks.

Listening to the radio again while journaling. That thought interrupted my line of thinking about the Headspace app, and I’m trying to navigate how much of this journaling will be stream of consciousness. Sometimes my thoughts can get somewhat scatterbrained which isn’t helpful for a blog. Normally in my private journal I let the thoughts be scatterbrained because that is true stream of consciousness and it’s fun to see how the stream of consciousness works. I think I’ll experiment with and without editing related thoughts together in different posts and see what feels better. I found the need to organize placement of topics here a bit, while maintaining integrity of the writing for the most part.

Lying in my bed rn and journaling on my phone. That’s my normal setup. This song by PJ Harvey is kind of hot lol. It’s called Rid of Me. Self conscious that I’m basically an ad for this radio station but also the songs in this blog post could be a decent playlist so there’s that. On that note I’m excited to listen to the new collaborative album between Sufjan Stevens and Angelo de Augustine. I like what I’ve heard by way of introduction so far.

I went for a walk after the Vikings’ win. It was nice getting outside. I momentarily felt anxious about the coming week, but remembered to return my focus to the present moment which helped. It is now 8:00 so I’ve been at this a while.

8:50 My phone died so I took the opportunity to watch CNBC Street Signs (Asia) and fold clothes, I was surprised by my energy to do a chore. After I finished that, I realized it wouldn’t take long to clean the bathroom so I did most of that quickly too. Quite pleased I could get those things done. I also got laundry done today too, so pretty productive. Cleaning your space can be part of self care, so it’s good to do that. Exercise is part of it as well, so it’s good I got a walk.

9:02pm I should do the next Headspace exercise. They have been relaxing this past week.

9:24pm I finished the tenth and last session in part two of the course on managing anxiety. I do feel a sense of accomplishment even though it took a while to get through it. I was consistent in the last week or so and the sessions went well. I’m looking forward to the next ten sessions. They’ll talk about framing the exercise to get the most out of it.I think I’m going to leave it here and watch some of the Circle on Netflix which is a show that makes me laugh. I didn’t do much more with art/poetry today but I managed to stay in the present moment pretty well and not worry about the coming week. I hope any readers have a good night and start to the week.

#mindfulness #breathing exercises #journal #journaling #journal entry #weekend #courtney barnett #stream of consciousness

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ababybiter · 4 years

Text

jungkook x y/n, besties to besties with benefits, a lot of texting, smut, fluff and college life, oh and lets pretend V wasn’t born in the christmas holidays

part 1/??

[00:19am] jungkook: please help me

{00:19am} jungkook: i don’t know what to get tae for his birthday

{00:23am} jungkook: Y/N!!!!!!!!!!

{00:25am} y/n: jungkook

{00:25am} y/n: his birthday is literally 5 days away

{00:26am} y/n: why are u like this

Truth be told, you weren't that surprised. Your best friend Jungkook was a novice at putting in effort for his friends birthdays and you were wholeheartedly used to that fact. The stress of finding something for your other best friend’s birthday on Friday was stressful enough for you, let alone the inevitable pleas of Jungkook’s text messages on Sunday evening coming through were enough to send you over the edge.

{00:28am} jungkook: TECHNICALLY it’s 6 days away...

You roll your eyes as you lay on your back, snuggled up under your duvet. You glance at your bedroom door, thinking of your roommate and close friend Nina. As Taehyung’s girlfriend, you wondered what sort of gift she bought for him.

{00:29am} y/n: You know I struggled myself! Have you asked Nina?

{00:29am} jungkook: NO she’ll hate me for leaving it so late D:

{00:29am} jungkook: I’ve been at my computer for ages. mY desperation has led me to WISH.COM

{00:30am} y/n: no she won’t but i get you

{00:30am] y/n: get off wish u idiot

{00:30am} y/n: shall we go shopping on wednesday? I’ll help you find something

You rub your eyes, unable to even pretend to think of gift ideas right now. You turn off your bedside lamp, your eyes straining in the dark as you thank the lords for your 1pm lecture tomorrow. It’s then that you remember Jungkook has an early morning class.

{00:35am} jungkook: YOU’RE THE BEST!!!!

{00:36am} y/n: you should be asleep kook

{00:37am} jungkook: i know i’ll get there

{00:37am} jungkook: can’t sleep rn

{00:37am} y/n: why? gift stress?

{00:38am} jungkook: lol, idk just can’t

{00:38am} jungkook:

You?

You roll over in the dark, trying to ignore the weird feeling in your stomach.

{00:39am} y/n: I have a late class tomorrow

{00:39am} y/n: YOU however sir do not

{00:39am} y/n: plus you’ve not been getting enough sleep lately, you need to sort out your pattern or you’ll be grumpy for V’s birthday :)

{00:40am} jungkook: i got it covered, just wanted to sort out a gift plan first

{00:40am} y/n: got it covered?

{00:41am} jungkook: I can make myself tired lol, dw <3

{00:42am} y/n: you gonna knock yourself out? LOOOL :(

{00:43am} jungkook: no y/n

{00:43am} jungkook: 0.o

Oh. Oh.

You clench your thighs together, suddenly in the mood to do that too.

No, what the fuck, no. That would be weird...touching yourself knowing that your best friend was doing the same. It would be weird...right?

Although it was Jeon Jungkook, you can’t deny that you’ve thought about him, accidentally of course, during your alone times. It was a secret you wouldn’t even admit to yourself let alone him or anyone else.

It was clearly just the dry spell talking. Your last boyfriend was well over a year ago and Jungkook was a guy. A hot guy. It’s probably normal to fantasise about him.

Except you didn’t fantasise about Tae, or Yoongi, or any of your other male friends. The thought alone sent a different feeling to your stomach, these were your FRIENDS. Practically your brothers.

So why was Jungkook any different?

{00:47am} jungkook: you still there?

{00:49am} jungkook: don’t pretend like you don’t do it too.

Was this still friendly territory? The full stop in his last text did something to your lower stomach.

Okay, now you’re being weird. You start typing tentatively.

{00:50am} y/n: I mean yeah, who doesn’t?

{00:51am} jungkook: Do you miss sex?

{00:51am} y/n: amongst other things, yes

{00:52am} jungkook: Such as?

Butterflies dance in your stomach as you type your next words, this was brand new territory for you and Jungkook. You wouldn’t even talk about this stuff with Nina...

{00:53am} y/n: I miss being eaten out

Your fingers dance over the screen as you wait for his response. You close and shut the app quickly before reopening it.

{00:53am} jungkook: mhm

That’s it? Your cheeks redden in the darkness of your room as you shuffle your legs under the covers.

{00:54am} y/n: I should sleep, it’s getting pretty late for me now

{00:55am} jungkook: okay, yeah sure

You’re about to lock your phone and throw it to the other side of your bed when it buzzes one more time.

{00:57am} jungkook: But are you tired?

{00:59am} y/n: I...am getting there. Why?

{1:00am} jungkook: we could help each other out?

{1:00am} y/n: how?

Jeez, how are you already wet? The excitement of talking to Jungkook like this was too much, clearly. You were 99% sure he was insinuating what you thought he was. But it had been a long time since you sexted, it also wasn’t something you and your ex had done much throughout the relationship.

{1:02am} jungkook: I like talking to you like this. I want to hear what else you like.

{1:02am} jungkook: let’s make each other tired

{1:02am} y/n: jeon!!!! you wanna sext?

{1:02am} jungkook: you made me horny y/n!

{1:03am} y/n: that was alllllll you jk! horny mf

Jungkook reads your message. The absence of the speech bubble appearing makes you stomach twist. Your phone goes dark waiting for it to appear. As much as you reprimanded him for his boyish behaviour, something in you wanted it to continue. But you probably blew it by being so whiney. Fuck. You didn’t know you wanted to sext Jungkook so bad.

And then.

{jungkook: Attachment 1 image}

You hesitate, before sliding open the chat. He’s laying in bed, the phone angled down at this legs in his black sweat pants. His thighs pressed close together in the tight yet stretchy material, his dick protrudes up from under the trousers, casting a dark shadow over his stomach. You know right there and then that this boy’s nudes would look like art.

{1:08am} jungkook: let’s help each other out

{1:08am} jungkook: this is what thinking about you did to me

{1:09am} jungkook: tell me if you want me to stop

You stare at the messages on your phone, fingers hovering over the keys, your instinct to explode your feelings into capital letters and ask him what’s happening. Because that’s how honest you too are...so I guess it’s normal to be this honest too.

You fling the duvet off and swing your legs out of bed. Your heart hammers in your chest as you kneel in front of the mirror, not really thinking with your brain right now. You pull off the baggy t-shirt that floats around your torso, leaving you in your underwear. You place a hand over your breasts, hiding your nipples in a seductive fashion, before using your other hand to snap a photo, hiding half of your heated face with the phone.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you press send.

You squeal, throwing your phone face down on bed, hoping you didn’t wake Nina up. The last thing you needed was for her to come bursting in to your room right now.

{1:13am} jungkook: holy shit

{1:13am} jungkook: you’re so hot

{1:13am} jungkook: i’m so hard for you

{1:13am} jungkook: wow

You climb quickly back into bed, his words sending electric waves to your core.

{1:14am} y/n: shall I touch myself?

{1:14am} jungkook: fuk yes

{1:14am} jungkook: i can use this picture right?

{1:14am} y/n: that's why i sent it kook :’)

{1:15am} jungkook: right okay haa good

{1:15am} jungkook

: holy wow

You try not to giggle at his cuteness, when his next message makes you gasp.

{1:16am} jungkook: god i wanna taste you

That was all it took to get your hand to work. More dirty words are exchanged, both of you sweating and misspelling, as you both get yourselves off to each other.

{1:26am} y/n: jungkook i’m gonna cum

{1:27am} jungkook: shit y/n me too

{1:27am} jungkook: fucck

Your orgasm washes over you. Your eyes flutter shut as you imagine Jungkook’s lips on your pussy, his body on top of you, the look on his face as he comes. You wonder if he’s loud in bed. If he’s moaning right now.

{1:30am} y/n: That was so fun.

{1:30am} jungkook: jesus. yes it was

{1:31am} y/n: maybe we can do it in person some time?

{1:37am} jungkook: yeah?

{1:37am} y/n: yeah, i guess i really have missed this stuff

{1:37am} y/n: wanna be friends with benefits?

{1:40am} jungkook: Is that what you want?

{1:40am} y/n: i think it sounds fun, what about you? are you down?

{1:41am} jungkook: mhm yes i’m down :)

Your newly found post orgasm confidence delegated some rules over text to Jungkook, which he easily agreed on. The main one being that should the opportunity arise to be physically imitate with each other, the two of you would be exclusive, and let the other person know if they were interested in being sexual with someone else. To which the arrangement would stop.

And under no circumstances, would it come between your friendship.

The two of you had been best friends for over 2 years now, meeting through Taehyung at college party. You didn’t even think about seeing him face to face after the occurrences of last night and what the ‘vibe’ would be, as Nina might say. In fact, it still hadn’t fully settled in that you had sexted Jungkook last night. As you left your apartment just after 12 to get some lunch before your lecture, it had felt like a hazy hot dream.

{GROUPCHAT: 1 new message}

{12:14am} V: anyone on campus ??? I bought too much food from the cafe. Need to share. Heading to the field if anyone wants to eat with me!

You type with two hands as you walk quickly onto campus.

{12:14am}: y/n: I’m almost at the field!

{12:14am} jungkook: I’m at the field now, just finished my jog

You stare at the message that popped up at the same time as yours. Butterflies fill your stomach again at the thought of seeing Jungkook in the flesh after the filthy wishes that were shared between the two of you less than 12 hours ago.

You look up as you reach the grass. Laying down on the green, propped up on his lower arms is the man is your best friend and new sexting buddy Jeon Jungkook. His fluffy black hair is pushed back with a sweat band that you’re sure belongs to Yoongi. The arms of his long sleeved black sweat shirt is rolled up to his elbows, and your eyes fall to his black jogging bottoms. You’re sure they’re a different pair, but the photo he sent you last night burns in your mind and you feel a familiar warmth down below.

Before you reach him, Taehyung appears, slinging down a grocery bag on the grass to which Jungkook leans forward and peers into, flicking his sweaty hair out of his eyes.

“Hey, Y/N!” Tae lifts a hand. “You know you two were the ones I was expecting to accept free food at the speed of light.”

“Hi guys.” You fall to your knees on the soft grass, dropping your bag beside you.

Jungkook’s eyes flicker over you before he meets your gaze. “Hey.” A shy smile ghosts his lips before he opens a packet of Doritos.

“Do you know if Nina got up in time for work?” Tae asks.

“Yeah, she was gone long before me.” You smile, focusing your attention on V.

“So is she not quitting the barista job then?” Jungkook sits up, shoving crisps into his mouth.

“No, she there’s no where else she can work where they’ll let her do the hours she wants.” V explains.

“Yeah, lucky bitch only has classes two days a week.” You scoff. “I should have taken politics.”

“Except one of those days is Friday.” He sighs, pulling out a sandwich and passing it to you. “Guess I’ll be high and dry on my birthday.”

“She’s not coming to your party Friday night?” Jungkook scrunches up the crisp packet noisily.

“Oh yeah she is, but I won’t see her until then, and if I’m not smashed, Nina will be, so...no birthday fuck for me.” He sighs wistfully. “Not one I’d remember anyway.”

Usually this sort of statement from Tae would breeze over you, but your hands become hot and you notice Jungkook swallow and cough. You wonder if he regrets the arrangement you agreed upon last night. You desperately needed to talk about this in person.

“So, um, why do you have so much food?” You open the packet, shoving the bread into your mouth.

“They were doing some deals at the cafe.” V munches. “Oh, to be a student.”

Suddenly, Jungkook stands.

“I’m gonna go get cleaned up, enjoy your lunch guys.” He pats you on the head as he goes. “See you Wednesday, Y/N.”

You bristle at the friendly gesture, again something you wouldn’t have previously batted an eye at, but given the nature of your current situation it seemed...unnatural.

“What you doing Wednesday?” Taehyung asks through a mouthful of baguette.

“Oh, uh, just...meeting up.” You stammer, your eyes following Jungkook’s legs as they head towards the path.

“Hmm.” Taehyung smirks, drinking from his water bottle. “Just meeting up, huh.”

“What?” You snap your head towards him.

“You can’t fool me, Y/N.”

Oh god, you couldn’t be talking about this with Tae before you’d even had a chance to talk about it with Jungkook. How did he know anyway? Were the two of you really being that awkward?

“How-...what?” You blush.

“It’s something to do with my birthday isn’t it?” He grins.

You desperately try to hide your expression of relief and replace it with playfulness. You force yourself to roll your eyes. “Brat.”

After a day and a half of classes, you’re glad to have your mind preoccupied with no more awkward run ins with Jungkook, since your classes were held on opposite sides of the campus. Wednesday morning rolls around, and you’re surprised that he texts you first.

{10:54am} jungkook: Heeey my favourite creative gift giver

You blink at his confidence, baring in mind the previous conversation of your ‘benefit’s’ were floating above his latest text.

You walk into the kitchen, a smile on your face as you type out a reply.

{10:55am} y/n: You’re lucky you get me to leave the house on my day off :P

“Morning!” Nina beams at you, shoving fruit into her smoothie maker. You smile back at her, wishing you were as put together as she was. It makes sense she had a bunch of guys fawning for her attention before she and V got together. It’s even cuter knowing that she dodged them all to be with our lovely Taehyung.

{10:56am} jungkook: you can’t resist the kook ;)

Your bite on your fingernails, staring bewildered at the boy texting you. It felt like someone else was using Jungkook’s phone, his flirtation over text confusing you to no end, whilst his shy demeanour in person suggested he had a split personality. And still, how this was all wrapped up in your best friend of over 2 years you’ll never be able to believe it.

Still, ignoring your nerves, you were looking forward to seeing him properly. To shake off this high school cyber flirt situation.

“Who’s the guy?” Nina slams her hands down on the counter separating the two of you.

“What?” You jump.

“Who’s the guy that’s got you blushing and smiling at your phone like a love sick puppy?” Nina’s eyes sparkle.

You sigh. Since dating Taehyung, Nina had become more interested in your love life, constantly wanting you on the same level as her. She’d also become much more intuitive, to your dismay.

But this was Nina, and you couldn’t hide anything from her. Plus, you needed her deep and thoughtful opinions.

“Wait, so, you haven’t even SPOKEN about it yet?” Nina looks gobsmacked as she keeps missing her mouth with her smoothie straw.

“No! It happened on Sunday night, and we’ve both had classes.” You glance down at your phone, the latest message from Jungkook on the screen, saying he’ll meet you outside your apartment at 12:30.

“Damn...you and jungkook...who’d have thought.” Nina taps her glass.

“He’s seen my boobs Nina!” You exclaim, shoving a left over banana from Nina’s smoothie making into your mouth.

“I bet he’d love to see that.” Nina makes a square with both her thumbs and forefingers, capturing the erotic display in front of her.

“God, you’re spending too much time with V.” You roll your eyes, chomping loudly.

“And you’re spending too much time with Jungkook!” Nina points. “Close your mouth!”

You pout chewing quietly, as you pick up your phone.

“Shit! Nina, how long have we been sitting here, I have to get ready.”

“Wow!” Nina laughs as you leap away from the counter to your bedroom. “Anyone would think you’re going on a date!”

She ducks, missing the banana skin as it hurls over her head.

Nina’s words get to you. Why did you care what you looked like? It’s not like you’ve never hung out with your best friend before. No. You knew why. It’s because it wasn’t just Nina’s words that got to you.

‘You’re so hot.’

You hadn’t even thought if Jungkook had ever found you attractive or not. It was a low grade compliment that you so guilty enjoyed. You wonder if he found you hot every day, when you ate together, played video games together, when you attended the same parties did he ever look at you in your short skirts and think...

“Hey, Y/N.”

Your weird and wild thoughts are cut short by the man himself. Jungkook approaches you as you lean against the wall of your accommodation building. He stops in front of you, his eyes scanning your previously distracted face. Did he always stand this close?

“Ready to go?”

Together you drive the short journey to the mall. You discuss gift ideas as Jungkook watches the road, whilst you try not to watch his hands.

He parks the car in the underground parking lot and unbuckles his belt quickly. You sigh. Unlike him, YOU can’t go the whole day without talking about IT.

“Jungkook.” You start, your voice dropping an octave.

He freezes like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “Y/N.”

“Do you still...about the other night, um...” You mentally kick yourself, wishing you’d prepared what you were going to say before you said it. “I had fun...is what I’m trying to say.”

“So did I.” He smiles. “A lot of fun.”

“Good. Me too. Are you still...down?” You meet his gaze, wishing you weren't having this conversation at such a close proximity.

“Yeah.” He catches his lip for a moment in between his teeth and you swear you almost stop breathing. He glances over your face. “Sorry, down to...?”

You smack his arm lightly. “You know...down to get down.” You wiggle your eyebrows before regretting it instantly. “Ahem, down to be friends with benefits.”

He gazes at you, his eyes darkening. “Is that what you want?”

Why does he keep asking that? Of course you want it! You wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise.

“Yeah.” You tell him. “I don’t wanna be one of those crazy uptight people that need to get laid.”

He breathes air out of his nose. “We wouldn’t want that would we?” He smirks, leaning closer to you until his breath is fanning your lips. “I think we know our first order of business.”

“Mhm?” You mumble, trying to still calm your breathing as you stare at his wet lips that he just licked, purposefully. His hand slides around to your back.

Suddenly there’s a click as he undoes your seatbelt.

“Find a birthday present for Taehyung!” He pulls away and opens his car door.

You let out a breath. Jeon Jungkook.

Shopping was taking longer than expected. It was hard to find something that didn’t scream ‘happy birthday, I just bought this from the mall 2 days ago!’. Jungkook wasn’t making it any easier, he was more interested embracing the role of the best friend with benefits.

“Hey, wanna take a look in here?” He throws an arm around you, nudging you towards the lingerie store.

“Jungkook I’m here to help you find a present for Taehyung. Have you forgotten that I’ve already got something to give him?”

“Okay okay, I’m just saying. I’d definitely want to see you in that.” He points to a black lace plunge bodysuit worn by mannequin.

“Mhm, yeah?” You lower your voice, drawing his attention back to you. “Well, you said first order of business was to find a birthday present for Tae, so that’s what we’re doing right now.”

He smirks down at you. “Fine. What do you suggest?”

“I have an idea.” You tug on his hand a few stores down. “You should get him a whole new outfit. He’s always telling you how much he loves your style!”

“Yeah, that would be cool.” He smiles. “See, this is why I needed your help! You’re good with this stuff!”

“Come on!”

Excitedly, the two of you begin picking out clothes you both like and that you think V will love. Eventually you come up with a handful of shirts, trousers, jackets and shoes.

“Okay, now we gotta put them into outfits and choose which one we like the best.” Jungkook dumps the clothes on a seating area, the mall is quiet today. Most people are at work or college on a weekday, leaving the seating areas open to have clothes dumped upon.

“Kook, you can’t choose like this. You need to try them on. You guys are like the same size.”

“Ah, really?” He groans. “I’m too hungry for this.”

“We’ll get food after this.” You pick up the clothes and shove them into his chest. “Go.” You nod to the changing rooms.

He carries the items to the changing rooms, you follow along behind, letting your hand feel the mens clothes hung up on the racks as you pass.

“Hey, uh, got a few items here.” Jungkook shrugs to the college aged boy behind the changing room desk.

The guy barely looks up from his phone as he nods Jungkook down the hallway to the changing rooms. You stay behind, pulling out your phone.

{13:23pm} nina bean!: Hey?! How’s it going ;) x

{13:35pm} y/n: Fine lol, I don’t know what you think is happening at the MALL x

You wait for her reply, your eyes falling to the ground by the desk, where a crumpled up t-shirt lies. You stoop forward to pick it up, and it’s only your favourite choice out of all the options. There’s no way he’s not trying this one on. The man behind the counter pays no attention as you start down the hallway, the t-shirt in your grasp.

“Jungkook.” You whisper.

Finally, he answers you from the end of the corridor. “Yeah?”

You pull open the curtain and gasp.

“Jesus, Y/N!” Jungkook scrambles to pull any pair of trousers over his bare legs as he stands in his boxers.

“You said yeah!” You step inside the changing cubicle with him, for a reason you can’t think of, closing the curtain behind you from the inside.

“Yeah doesn’t mean ‘whip open the curtain for anyone to see!’” He sits down on the small bench.

“Oh chill out, there’s literally no one here today.” You hold up the shirt, standing in front of him. “You dropped this.”

He takes the shirt, opening it up to inspect it with large curiosity. His cheeks crimson. You chuckle quietly. “You know, you’ll have to get used to me seeing you naked right?”

His eyebrows flick upwards as he hides a shy smile. “Right.”

It seems awkward Jungkook has returned. Unbeknownst to you, the idea of being intimate with you already sent his heart rate through the roof. Realising the idea goes beyond hypothetical advances and flirtatious jokes was enough give Jungkook a heart attack.

It was only then that the thought occurred to you, maybe you had wanted this kind of relationship with him for a long time, and maybe he had too.

As you ponder this revelation, your eyes drop to a new piece of art on his shoulder.

“Hey.” Your fingers reach out before you can stop them, brushing the inked skin. “You got a new tattoo?”

He shivers under your touch, staring up at you, as if he doesn’t know what you’ll do next. His fingers reach out, before he can stop them, and pull you closer by your jean belt hoop. “Like it?”

“Love it.” You whisper, drawing around the outline with your nail. He hisses.

You clear your throat and back off. “I’ll be outside when you’re done.”

Jungkook stands up, keeping the close proximity as he backs you into the wall of the cubicle. “Promise me something, Y/N.” He murmurs, tracing your jawline with his finger.

“What, kook?”

“I’ll always have you. No matter what.”

“Of course cringe ball.” You whisper.

He smiles then, relieving some of the tension in the air. His smile is infectious, you giggle back at him. When he looks at your lips, his smile fades, and your heart pounds in your ears. You can hear his shaky breath as he leans in, so slowly that it’s almost unnoticeable. Painfully slow. He stops, a hair away from your lips as they part.

“Kook-” You murmur.

At the sound of his nickname he wastes no more time. Bringing his lips to yours eagerly, one hand caressing your jaw whilst other rests above your hip. The kiss is passionate, his thigh pokes in between yours in an attempt to get as close to you as possible. You grant access to his tongue as it shyly asks for permission against your teeth. The feeling of your tongue against his seems to spur him on. He whimpers into your mouth, pressing his crotch against yours. You catch your breath as his mouth leaves yours, only to trail kisses along your jaw and down your neck. “Kook...” You moan softly as he moves your top strap and sucks on your collarbone.

“Mmm?” He moves back to your mouth, kissing you deeply.

“We have to...choose...an outfit...” You breath in between kisses.

“Mmm, I know.” He pulls away from your lips, touching them with his finger. Then he steps back and grabs an outfit, including the t-shirt you chose. “I’ve chosen.”

“Did you try them on?”

“All except this.” He pulls the shirt over his head and looks in the mirror. “It’s fine. It’ll fit.” He pulls it back off and smirks when he catches you staring. He leans forward and kisses you on the nose. “Let’s go eat.”

You pick up the discarded clothes to return and he starts to help you. “That was hot.” He throws a smile in your direction.

“Don’t tell me you’ve got a kink for public places I didn’t know about?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I guess you’ll find out all about my kinks.” He winks, pulling open the curtain.

As you both leave the store with outfit for Taehyung, you check your phone.

{13:40pm} nina bean!: You tell me ;) x

Something tells you, you will.

After a full day of classes on Thursday, you and Nina meet and walk home together. She’s completely invested in your friendly sexual adventures, but decides to broach a different type of question.

“Did you always know you wanted Jungkook?”

“I didn’t always want him.” You correct her. “I always knew he was cute...well, more than cute, but who didn't? He’s been a great friend to me since we met...we’re just helping each other out.”

“Y/N, you just made out with your best friend, who was TOPLESS, let’s not forget. IN A CHANGING ROOM STALL. You’re telling me there was no spark? No passion? No...”

“I didn’t say that.” You hide a smirk as Nina squeals beside you, tugging your arm.

“Oh yes! I can’t wait till you start dating. I can FINALLY double date with my bestie. There’s so many couples date ideas I want to try out with the four of us-”

“Who said I want to be in a couple?!” You gesture wildly.

“Well what DO you say, Y/N? You just admitted that there was a spark.”

“There can be a spark in my situation.” You protest. “It passionate because it’s fun. I think he’s hot, he thinks I’m hot. We’re already comfortable with each other. It’s the perfect match.”

“Perfect match.” Nina pokes you.

“Nina! Are you not familiar with the term ‘FRIENDS with benefits’?”

“Yes, I am familiar.” Nina snaps. “Very familiar, actually.”

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow. It was a rare occurrence that you found something out about Nina that you didn’t already know.

“Oh, indeed.” She nods. “It was a disaster. I fell for him stupidly fast, and then he told me he was getting back with his ex and that was that. He’d been thinking of HER the entire time. Point is, it’s better to stick to the generic way of dating in this day and age, so you KNOW where his head is at. Trust me.”

“Yeah well, Jungkook is my best friend, he’s not thinking of anyone.” You tell her.

“I know!” She nods. “Sorry. I don’t want to worry you. I just want you to be happy, like I am.”

“I am perfectly happy with my current relationship with Jungkook.” You reassure her.

She smiles, her eyes lighting up once the two of you reach your accommodation. “V!” She exclaims.

“Hey!” V holds a small bunch of flowers as he wraps his arms around his girlfriend.

“What’s this? I thought I wasn’t seeing you until your party.” Nina blinks up at him.

“Yeah, about that. I wanted an afternoon with my girl before we get shit faced drunk with our friends. I’m taking you out to dinner.”

“V, you’re so cute!” Nina gasps. “I’m suppose to be spoiling you this week!”

“Hey, Y/N!” V ruffles your hair. “Mind if I steal your roommate?”

“Not at all.” You laugh.

“Oh, V, I’m not exactly ready for a dinner date.” Nina cups her own cheeks self consciously.

“You’re gorgeous.” He taps her nose. “Don’t be silly.”

Nina turns to you with the flowers in her grasp. “Can you put these in some water for me?”

“Sure.” You smile.

You watch them skip away, thoughts swirling. You couldn’t imagine Jungkook making a gesture like that. To another girl, yes, but to you?

Who knows what you wanted anymore.

After dropping your bag on your bedroom floor, you decide to take a long hot shower. You step out to see a flash on your phone. 4 memes from Jungkook.

{16:44} y/n: thanks for the meme spam :’)

{16:45} jungkook: I should probably stop sitting in my towel scrolling through memes and get dressed lol I'm so relatable

{16:45} y/n: LMAO I’M DOING THE SAME THING RN

{16:45} jungkook: proof

Here comes that excitement in your stomach again, who cares if you weren’t in a proper relationship? Who cares if Jungkook’s feelings weren’t as intense as yours? Your relationship now was exhilarating.

You let the towel drop from your body and glance at the mirror, your figure blurry with steam from the glass, but there’s enough to see what he wants to see, whilst leaving more to the imagination.

Snap.

You send the photo and put on a pair of shorts and t-shirt, climbing into bed. The exhaustion of a day full of absorbing information comes crashing down.

{16:48} jungkook: fuck that’s sexy

{16:48} jungkook: wanna see me?

{16:48} y/n: yes please

{jungkook: Attachment 1 image}

You were right. This boy knows how to take nudes. He holds his dick in one hand, the camera settled into selfie mode to show his v line and tense stomach. You gasp quietly at how big he is. He sits on the side of the bath, his towel discarded beside him.

You move your panties aside and start rubbing in slow circles at the sight of him.

{16:50} y/n: i’m touching myself

{16:50} y/n: wow you’re so hard already

{16:50} jungkook: that’s what you do to me baby

{16:51} y/n: i want to send you something else

{16:51} jungkook: ?

You video yourself, sliding your finger up and down your clit, drawing the slick up to your stomach. You send it to him, giddy as a school girl.

{16:52} jungkook: fuck

{16:52} jungkook: stop y/n

You feel your face heat up at his request. Was it too much? You look down at your pussy self consciously.

{16:53} jungkook: Can I come over?

You say yes.

Jungkook’s accommodation is a ten to fifteen walk away. You change into a thin vest top and sexier gym shorts despite the cold weather. You stand in front of the mirror, overthinking as per usual. Was it too try hard? He’s seen you in what you normally wear to chill and snack in after a day of classes, this was clearly for him.

But you kind of liked that.

hi!!!! this is my first time writing in about 5 years o.O thanks for reading!!! i’m weak for best friend jungkook imagines so I thought i’d try and make one. LEMME KNOW IF YOU WANT A PART 2.

#jungkook imagine #BTS imagine #jungkook drabble #jungkook reaction #BTS reaction #BTS drabble #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fic #jungkook fwb #jungkook best friend au #jungkook au #bts au #jungkook #jeon jungkook

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poloniumicecream · 3 years

Text

i was tagged by @starryeyedagony and @hashbrownteamcobrakai for this absurdly long list of personal questions <3 no one could possibly need to know this much about me, but let’s go

 1. what is the color of your hairbrush? i just... use my hand.... i keep my hair short, it curls and does its own thing

2. name a food you never eat:  idk i’ll eat what’s offered to me?? i buy what’s easy?? i have no strong food opinions at the moment

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? i have this bird bone body like an ailing victorian child, anything under 70º and i’m freezing

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? was trying to be productive but instead found a good link to the blue lick horror house🙏 idk what’s so fascinating about this thing, but i can’t let it go. maybe bc i have nightmares that resemble this space?? anyway i live here now

5. what’s your favorite candy bar? reeses never lets me down

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game?  memories blocked, sports too boring to think about

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? i regret to admit i am reading this out loud as i go

8. what is your favorite ice cream? idk but the worst i ever had was peanut butter

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? some faintly bleachy tap water, delicious

10. do you like your wallet? i use a coin purse to hold cards and cash - it's a pretty recognizable bright colored mass produced one. a while back there was a popular celebrity on the periphery of my friend group (don’t ask pls) and one time at a bar or something i had my "wallet" out and from across the room they locked eyes with me and pulled the Same One out of their pocket. pretty sure it was weed tho. but imagine carrying ur weed in a normal bill-fold wallet. that would have been funnier :/

11. what is the last thing you ate?  lost in the turbine of my memory

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i did not but i just got a new desk lamp, genuinely v excited for that to arrive

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched?  i don't think this question applies to my experiences

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? popcorn smells are compelling but if i eat things that stick in my teeth i'll lose my entire mind. wait this is it, the answer to number 2

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? close inner circle group chat planning our surprise private island getaway. no but we’re making (safe!) halloween plans

16. ever been camping? not as often as usual this year but yes! see above

17. do you take vitamins?  those gummy ones like fruit snacks

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship?  nah

19. do you have a tan? i'm ghostly

20. do you prefer Chinese or pizza? i'm pickier about pizza. u can't go wrong with chinese

21. do you drink your soda through a straw? no...?

22. what color socks do you usually wear? mostly dark but i have some fluffy pastel ones specifically bc the contrast in my laundry is funny to me

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? i'm gay i don't drive

24. what terrifies you?  third date kind of question!

25. look to your left, what do you see? dying jade plants and beyond these, a cat's loving gaze

26. what chore do you hate most?  vacuuming. loud

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?  family

28. what’s your favorite soda?  dr pepper only. i don't really drink soda tho. i was raised by the kind of parents who put fruit juice in seltzer and sold me that lie. i guess it stuck

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? there are so many food questions in this list pls

30. what’s your favorite number?  secret information

31. who’s the last person you talked to?  my father. probably the person i've spoken with out loud the most this year

32. favorite meat? i no longer eat meat

33. last song you listened to? it’s been a war on drugs kind of week

34. last book you read?  i can't read

35. favorite day of the week?  something cool about a thursday, i can't explain it

36. can you say the alphabet backwards?  feeling very interrogated rn

37. how do you like your coffee? however it wants to be. i for real cannot supply food or beverage opinions like this on demand PLS

38. favorite pair of shoes?  generic black leather lace up boots

39. time you normally get up? i'm drawing my shades and peering suspiciously outside through a crack rn

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? ok when ur out somewhere with no artificial light and it makes the sky more dramatic and cool, either one is good

41. how many blankets are on your bed? not enough, season transitions are rough

42. describe your kitchen plates? ... grandma is that u?

43. describe your kitchen at the moment:  it's clean, it's fine, grandma get out of here

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?  among the friends i drink with, one is a skilled bartender and we let him surprise us with whatever obscure drink he thinks each person should have that night. i would trust him with my life. conversely i just remembered my very best friend is also a bartender but him i wouldn’t let serve me anything except straight from the bottle. hm. what i’m trying to say is, the company i keep is more important to me than what's in the glass. should i also clarify i made these friends before they pursued this work and i’m not, like, frequenting bars to harass the staff? this answer is a mess lol

45. do you play cards?  i don’t have a great attention span for learning or enduring things like that

46. what color is your car?  u know what's funny is how much junk mail i get with car insurance offers. i wonder what color they think the car i've never had is

47. can you change a tire? 100% no and that would not stop me trying. it won’t be my car so i have nothing to lose and all of myself (also nothing) to give

48. your favorite state or province? idk i feel like a stranger everywhere i go except nyc

49. favorite job you’ve had? ok, mr. fbi i think that's enough

😔 i have not kept track of who’s been tagged or done this already, and the links will kill my tags anyway. do u have shit u need help procrastinating on? here, try this

#yes i am avoiding tasks #come join #tag game #...formatting text is my passion🐸

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mars-barssss · 4 years

Note

Hi! For the whump bingo ask, can I ask for "Apologizing right before they pass out" with Patton? Thank you.

//I’m really sorry about this being so late! Also, sorry to the two other asks for a while ago, I’m gonna finish these up before continuing. Life got a bit hectic but I’ll get back on it!

An Illogical Feeling

Pairing: Logicality

TW: Blood, Near Character Death (But not actual character death!), Stab Wounds

Type: ANGST

//College!Au and Human!Au, to let you know!

Summary: Logan gets a call from his best, no, a really close friend. He learns something new about himself.

—

Ring…! Ring…!

The ringing of the phone mixed with the loud movie that was blasting on the TV. Roman didn’t pay any mind to it, as his eyes were trained on whatever action movie they happened to be watching.

Logan himself was reading a book, however. He was paying no mind to the movie. He had no interest in it, anyways.

Roman had invited him to watch a movie over in his dorm, and he didn’t really care for the choice of movie that he chose. Truthfully, Logan just was tired of waiting for his own roommates to come home, and although he wouldn’t admit it, he didn’t want to be alone.

There was something so suffocating about being alone. It was illogical at best, he should be fine with that. But he had gotten used to the conversations and sounds that dulled the silence, that he couldn’t just avoid it! He didn’t know if that meant he was getting weak, or otherwise. Either way, he simply had told Roman he’d be over, but not to watch. Roman didn’t get much of a response to his next text, before said friend arrived at his door.

And the moment that Logan stepped inside showed just how lonely Roman was too. Or at least, bored. Pillows and blankets coated the couches and a bean bag chair was pulled up in the living room. The movie was looping on the menu screen, and there were some blankets specifically placed as like a cover. A true… pillow fort.

When questioned, Roman had shrugged it off, mumbling something about how his emo roommate not being home for the next two hours and his other being at a debate competition for the weekend.

As Logan recalled this, a loud shout pulled him out of his thoughts. The scene kid continued to shout as a lion, apparently, was hanging by the edge of a cliff, and screaming for help from the other lion.

“Mufasa, you could just like, I don’t know, climb to the left slightly, there’s a branch right there-!”

Roman continued to argue nonsensically at these characters, who Logan didn’t even know the names of, and who would also not hear Roman’s arguments, until eventually the lion fell off of the cliff. That left Roman with a loud irritated shout.

Logan scoffed slightly, smiling. He returned to his book.

Ring…! Ring…!

Oh. Right. The phone. The phone that was still ringing.

It was Roman’s phone, so obviously, he should answer it. It wasn’t in Logan’s place to answer it. It could be personal. But his that dumb drama student just wouldn’t stop whining the screen. Honestly, Logan didn’t know why it bugged him so much. Maybe because it didn’t merge with the background sound of the movie.

Maybe it was because of a strange feeling in his stomach. He didn’t even know why it was there, but earlier when it first started, he nearly wanted to take some medicine. He was probably just getting sick, to be honest. It was winter, after all.

Speaking of winter, Logan glimpsed out of Roman’s dorm window. It had actually began to snow, after Logan arrived. Something about it excited him, because he hadn’t seen snow in so long. That however, didn’t last long. The snow also made him worry for Roman’s roommates, as well as his home. The roads would be slippery, and honestly his roommate should have been home a while ago. Anxiously, Logan checked his phone, tapping his foot lightly on the carpet.

6:48 PM

Ring…! Ring…!

Logan shuffled slightly, getting to messaging app to try to contact him again. Logan did not like the idea of spamming people, it was rude. Honestly, they’d respond back when they did get the chance, but this time, his stomach was almost doing figurative flips. His stomach was figuratively flipping?

He didn’t really pay too much mind to the half-cooked metaphor as he scrolled through today’s messages and typed a new message.

___

Today

1:30 AM Patty-Cake: GO TO BED

1:30 AM Patty-Cake: I can c ur light on

Patty-Cake changed Crofters’s nickname to hey.

Patty-Cake changed hey’s nickname to LogAN gET SoME FLIpPiNG sLEEP.

1:37 AM LogAN gET SoME FLIpPiNG sLEEP: I need to get this essay done.

1:38 AM Patty-Cake: u got that essay last night, it’s due in two weeks

1:40 AM LogAN gET SoME FLIpPiNG sLEEP: Better to get it done early.

1:43 AM Patty-Cake: Comin to ur room rn

1:43 AM LogAN gET SoME FLIpPiNG sLEEP: What?

2:11 AM Patty-Cake: ILY nightt

Patty-Cake changed LogAN gET SoME FLIpPiNG sLEEP’s nickname to Stargazer.

12:34 PM Patty-Cake: Lo!!! I got a role!! SO EXCITED!!! :D

12:34 PM Patty-Cake: Ro’s gonna be so happy! He’s been trying to get me into the play for weeeeeeeeks

Patty-Cake changed Patty-Cake’s nickname to AAAAAAAA.

12:36 PM Stargazer: That’s nice. Congratulations.

12:36 PM AAAAAAAA: Emile’s calling! C u at home im gonna be making cookies

2:03 PM AAAAAAAA : Do u want burgers tonite?

AAAAAAAA changed AAAAAAAA’s nickname to Patty-Cake

2:03 PM Patty-Cake: Gotta fix my name one sec

5:30 PM Stargazer: Patton, please respond. Where are you? You should have been home a half an hour ago.

6:48 PM Stargazer: Patton, are you home yet? If you are not, it is snowing outside, please drive carefully.

Patty-Cake didn’t pick up. 0:03

6:50 PM Stargazer: You’re worrying me, please call back.

___

“Get off your electronics, Microsoft Nerd!” Ahead of him, Roman was a leaning backwards, giving him a pointed stare. His lips were pouting as he pointed at his phone. The movie was paused. “Thought you were gonna be on your book, not your phone!”

“I was reading my book. I only went to go check the time on here.” Logan deadpanned, pocketing his phone. A small glance to Roman’s home phone made Roman shout at him again.

…

“Really? I could heard you typing! You aren’t even paying attention to me right now!” He huffed, sitting up in the chair, still staring at Logan. “See you’re just staring at my phone for some odd reason, at least give me a straight answer.”

Turning back to Roman, Logan’s expression was dulled out, kind of a tired ‘what are you even going on about’ face. “Just unpause the movie, Roman.”

“Alright, whatever, just don’t text during the movie! Puh-lease!” The movie was unpaused, and the volume replaced the silence immediately. It blasted through Logan’s ears the moment it came back on, the stark difference surprising the engineering major. He didn’t realize that the phone stopped ringing.

Everything continued as normal.

Only until a few minutes later.

Ding!…

___

6:58 PM Patty-Cake: l

6:58 PM Patty-Cake: logan

___

Logan quickly grabbed his phone, his hands shaking slightly as he scrambled for the messaging app. Oh, he was going to rip Patton a new one for scaring him.

___

6:59 PM Stargazer: Patton, why didn’t you respond to me all afternoon?

6:59 PM Stargazer: Patton

7:01 PM Patty-Cake: hlp me pls

7:01 PM Stargazer: What’s wrong?

Patty-Cake didn’t pick up. 0:01

7:03 PM Patty-Cake: guy cme up behnd me

___

By now, Logan has stood up, staring down his phone. This felt wrong, this felt so, so wrong. Glancing away for a brief moment, Roman had also gotten up from his beanbag, although his intention was different.

“Hey pocket protector! What in the world are you doing?!” Roman nudged his shoulder, although not unkindly. “You’re panicking dude, come on, breathe.” A hand landed on his shoulder, but Logan didn’t acknowledge it. He was on the screen to call Patton, consistently trying to call the other.

Roman looked at Logan’s phone nervously, before tightening his grip on the other’s shoulder.

___

Patty-Cake didn’t pick up. 0:02

Patty-Cake didn’t pick up. 0:01

7:05 PM Patty-Cake: over by th aprtmns alleyway

7:05 PM Stargazer: Why aren’t you answering?!

7:05 PM Stargazer: Why aren’t you calling the police?

7:06 PM Stargazer: Patton

You called Patty-Cake.

___

Finally one of the calls went through. As Logan looked at the video on the call, there was just black, and all he heard at first was gasps, and clearly a choking sound. The phone moved from what sounded like the ground, into the air, slightly. The phone was shaking from the place it was held, showing only concrete.

“Patton-?! Patton, are you there?”

The phone jolted again, as it sounded like he was trying to sit up. “L…Logan?…”

“Yeah, Patton, it’s me. Where are you?! Tell me where you are!” The phone uneasily shakes in Logan’s hands. He’s already walking towards the apartment door, keeping his eyes on the call desperately. As the door opened, he winced at the choke-like gasps coming from the other end of the call. Roman quickly followed after him as he rushed down the staircase, not waiting for the elevator.

“Logan… L… I…” Several more coughs came through as the phone was pulled back towards Patton. The camera jolted as he coughed. His hand came into view of the camera for a moment, and Logan stopped breathing for a moment as he stood in the front door of the dorm.

Dark red blood stained his hands and the snow around him. The arm itself was shaking either from fear, or the cold winds. Another wheeze came through, before Logan saw that Patton was beginning to drop the phone, falling forward in the process.

“Patton, don’t fall asleep! Please! Tell us where you-!”

All of a sudden, a loud thump was heard on the call, as the camera went dark. The call was still on, but Patton must have passed out on it. Soft uneven breathing came through the speaker.

“P-Patton!”

His head turned up sharply as he could hear just how much he was hyperventilating. He stared at Roman, his eyes watering from his fear how tired he was. “R-Roman.”

Roman touched his shoulder, his words fumbling right out of his mouth with how quickly he spoke. “He stayed late at the theater, and he said he was near the dorms in an alleyway, he’s probably that way-” Roman gestures to Logan’s left. “I’ll call the police to this area, call me when you find him- I’ll lead the ambulance there, okay?! You just focus on finding him!” He shoves Logan to the left, as he pulls out his own phone quickly, his boots stomping through the now-thicker snow.

Logan briefly nods before running off to the left. If you asked Roman, Logan never runs for anything, unless he is genuinely scared, which is rare. Nothing could ever get him to run, but now, he was going as fast as he could on the slippery ice and snow.

“PATTON-!”

Glancing down every alleyway there was, he held the phone close, listening to the soft, weakened breathing, to make sure he was alive. After a few moments, Logan stumbles after hearing a hitch in the other student’s breathing, before he couldn’t hear it anymore! His own breathing hitches, as tears spill down his eyes.

“PATTON!”

He sprints off again, desperately looking down every alleyway and corner, until finally, he spots Patton’s cardigan down one of them, abandoned.

Turning sharply into it, he reached the cardigan, picking it up shakily, and holding it close. A small whimper snaps his head towards the right, where Patton was laying, a few feet away. Logan stumbles forward desperately, falling to his knees beside Patton, who’s eyes were closed with a light layer of ice on them, and breathing that was barely heard.

“Patton, can you hear me?!”

He pulled the other into his lap, trying to warm him up. The moment he saw his stomach, where a stab wound festered, he shoved his hand on it, giving it pressure, despite all of the blood that surrounded them. His other hand grasped at his phone, dialing Roman’s number, the other continuing to hold the unresponsive student in his lap. Once the call went through, he quickly blurted out the area they were in, and set his phone the ground without a care. The now empty hand hesitated, before taking one of Patton’s in his own.

“Patton, wake up! Please, wake up!”

Patton didn’t know who was speaking, but someone was speaking.

He didn’t know who was shaking him, but someone was shaking him.

He didn’t know who was saving him, but someone was-

He opened his eyes to see a blurry mess of blues and blacks. A small groan forced it’s way out of him as he struggled to move, only realize the hand that pushed down on his stomach. A whimper was heard as he felt the pain that grew from the pressure, before he felt himself get moved around slightly, his back against the wall of a dorm.

His eyelids drooped slowly, as his whole body longed to be on the floor again, as he longed to sleep. Suddenly, his hearing came back and-

“-tton! Stay awake! Don’t fall asleep!”

Logan’s voice blasted throughout his whole body, it just felt so loud. Everything suddenly felt so loud, and his stomach hurt so badly. The rocks beneath him felt so cold, so very cold, and… sticky. Why… Why was it sticky?

“Pa-” His hearing went out again as he blinked over and over, trying to get a better view. Eventually, he can see who the figure above him was. Logan.

Some fellow student. Some nerd. A stoic acquaintance, who hid his emotions. A person who helped him with math homework, who didn’t care how dumb he was. A childhood friend, who tried to avoid him. A stargazing dork, who stayed late up until four in the morning to see a comet. A friend, who didn’t leave him, even if it meant he got bullied by the same kids that bullied him. His partner in crime, who begrudgingly joined him with a prank on the bullies. His only friend, who would let him ramble listlessly all night. His best friend, who took care of him when he was bedridden, and called for Roman to bring blankets and watch movies with them until he was better.

One of the most important people in the world to him, who was slowly fading away into the darkness that clouded Patton’s vision.

“Lo…” Patton’s voice whimper out through the pain, his hand squeezing Logan’s, as strong as he could. Which wasn’t that strong, but it was something. Logan’s eyes darted right back to Patton’s, and for the first time that Patton ever knew, he was crying. A sudden shiver wracked Patton’s body, and he tore his gaze away from the other to try to contain heat.

Some of Logan’s tears hit Patton in the cheek, sliding down his face. Logan’s breathing rose again as he watched Patton carefully, and held him away from all of the snow that had gathered around him. Quickly shifting his jacket off of him, he wrapped it around Patton, and held it closer once more. “Patton, stay awake for me, okay? You can hear me, right?”

Patton stiffly nodded, as another shiver made him shrink into Logan’s jacket. He looked so… small. His voice wasn’t much bigger than how he looked, rasping at the edges. “Y-Y-Y-Ye-eah. I-I can he-ear you.”

“G-Good, you’re okay, you’re gonna be fine.” Logan muttered those reassurances under his breath as he looked back at the main road, waiting. Waiting for the inevitable sirens to come down it. At any time now. “You’ll be fine.”

“Logan…” Patton felt it inside of him. Something inside of him was wilting, like a dying rose. He didn’t know if it was because of all of the red around him, or the frost that nipped at his wrists. His body felt like it falling apart, one thing at a time. His fingers, then his wrists, then his arms. Something deep down in him was fading, and he was scared, because his eyes won’t stay open, they won’t stay open, oh god, he’s falling he’s falling he’s falling-

But he’d always be there to catch him.

“Patton, come on. I’m going t-to pick you up now, is that okay?” The sound of sirens suddenly filled the absence of sound. Logan’s voice barely wavered, his ability to hold in his emotions from the outside was something Patton wished he was better at to be honest. But right now, Patton was sure his expression was only either pained, or nothing. He didn’t feel much of anything. Not emotionally, but neither the cold that tore at his limbs.

He was so tired. He was so… so cold.

He couldn’t even nod his head to let Logan know he heard him.

“Patton, can you hear me? We have to go!” Logan’s voice cracked. It was a little detail, but Patton knew just how much it meant. Logan was scared. But Patton couldn’t reach for him anymore, he was too numb. His head rolled to the side, looking at the pavement as Logan tried to move him. “Pat!”

Pat. That’s a nickname that Patton hadn’t heard for years. At least, not from Logan.

Maybe he should change his nickname to it again.

“Patton, please, don’t close your eyes, the ambulance is here! I’m sorry if you don’t want to be picked up, but I have to move you.” Logan shook him slightly, the movement only rolling his limp head around more. When he looked at Logan, he could only see beauty. He could only see his best friend, as if the whole world didn’t exist at that moment. The world faded into the background, grays and blues and whites. Snow flew around them as Logan carried him. It was a wonderful world.

Where he had no wounds and wasn’t dying right now.

He didn’t feel any pain, he could only see his best friend holding him close. And perhaps it was just the blood-loss speaking, but he knew at that moment just how much he did love the man who was saving him. The world shifted around him, and he didn’t care. He didn’t notice. His head rolling slightly, but his eyes were trained on Logan.

He looked so sad. Why was he so sad? Scared too. He didn’t like Logan when he was scared. He didn’t want him to be sad. He wanted him to be happy!

He kept looking sadder whenever he faced him as they walked forward, with snow fluttering around him. Did he do something wrong?…

If he did, he was so sorry. He felt so guilty. He felt sore, but he didn’t care. He’d feel sore all day if it meant he wasn’t sad. He had to say something, to apologize for… whatever he did. He just had to get that sad face off of him. He didn’t care about what it was, he just wanted him to be happy.

With the last of his strength, he reached up towards Logan’s face, and in return Logan’s face snapped towards Patton. His thumb weekly traced a tear as his hand shook and fell to his chest.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Lo.”

It was clear, if not raspy. And as he uttered it, he heard Logan. Not really though, the words were so muffled and quiet, it was if he had whispered it, and Patton wasn’t close enough. But he heard him speak, whatever he was saying, as his head rolled back limply against Logan’s arm, and his eyelids fluttered shut.

And they didn’t open back up.

Logan didn’t know he could cry, but almost losing his best friend taught him that.

___

//There we go! Let me know if you want a sequel to it! And I’m gonna get to work with the other asks! Have a great day!

#sandersides #sanders sides #roman #patton #logicality #logan

41 notes · View notes

sleepymarmot · 4 years

Text

The Untamed liveblog, eps. 8-15

The rabbit scene was already in the previous episode! What is this editing? Are these episodes from different cuts of the show or something?

Why is it unmanly to hold rabbits? Also DON'T THROW SMALL ANIMALS LIKE INANIMATE OBJECTS FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Ok but I'm getting concerned for these rabbits. Did Yi feed them before? Has WWX been feeding them since then? Are they gonna be alright? This is very important!

Does the phrase that LWJ keeps really mean "How boring"? That doesn't make much sense.

Oh so that's the name of the guy who hangs out with WWX... I've been wondering for several episodes

wtf is happening in the falling petal scene

I'm getting the feeling that a full-sized adventure got condensed into two scenes. WTF does "The Yin Iron deprived the peony, the leading flower, and the true Lady Florist was held in captivity" mean???

Anyway why are you sharing this top-secret info, that even your siblings aren't allowed to know, with a buddy from your class?

Clever trick, Wen Qing!

Am I finally getting a back-to-back fight?..

So, if the statues steals people's "spiritual cognition" (=souls?), and the Wen guy making them into puppets was a separate thing, then why did their spiritual cognition return not when the statue was subdued, but when Wen's bird was killed?

Wait, since when does Jiang Cheng know about the Yin Iron?

WWX is SO offended someone wants to be more smug and insolent than him

So now they're talking openly about the Yin Iron right in front of those two strangers...

How did they start the conversation at night in one location and continue at daytime at a different location, and not the one where the characters were heading

Seriously who tf calls their castle "The Unclean Realm"

Does Xue Yang's face not get tired from non-stop smirking? Is it frozen like this? Is he this world's Joker?

omg did LWJ just smile at hearing WWX's voice

Alright, when 10 minutes ago I thought "Meng Yao, sweetie, kill that clown", this is not what I had in mind

SOMEBODY GIVE MENG YAO A HUG (after some emergency medical care) HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE. Can Xichen adopt him now?

Wow, the Jiangs seem to have an actually healthy family relationsh-- *the mother shows up* Uh, nevermind

Why is the Lan Grand Master suddenly dying?

LWJ gave up himself and the Iron shard just to save one traitor?!

I hope everyone enjoys their time in Morrowind! (They obviously won't)

*insert a quarantine joke here*

Wow, LWJ switched to the protective mode very unexpectedly (Is that because he just lost his entire clan and therefore the primary subject of his loyalty? and the next in line, to everyone’s surprise, was WWX?)

this beast is the least convincing special effect I've ever seen, including 60s Doctor Who

"stranded together and tending to each other's wounds while trying to repress your feelings" in a TV show instead of AO3 makes me feel like I'm in a parallel dimension

for a few wild moments I thought he was going to suck infected blood out of his leg

Just! Do! It! The long fucking stare where he's Considering killed me.

"Let's trigger your crush's PTSD to make him talk about it" and other useful therapy tricks

I really didn't get what LWJ was doing in the fight scene. He was describing a technique of killing with strings physically, right, not with the sound they produce? Which made me think he had a spare set of strings on his person, which would have been a refreshing change from all other fictional battle musicians who never carry backup, but from the montage sequence it was pretty clear he just collected bowstrings, and also iirc he summons his guqin anyway. But also it really doesn't look like he accomplished much behind injuring his own hand.

you can have hurt/comfort in both directions, as a treat

dude, just relax and don't try to make it less awkward

a whole-ass flashback to their Meet Cute, no less!

please do not flash back to That One Scene like it was something cute and ruin the whole montage

so he knew the main group escaped, then?

What's the cave timeline? Did it take the two of them several days to prepare the attack on the monster, and after WWX passed out, he hasn't awoken until the rescue, as the editing suggests? Or was there an unseen period of time where WWX and LWJ sat together in a cave, slowly dying from hunger and having no interesting conversations to show whatsoever? The former sounds a ton more convincing, but gathering arrows and bowstrings is a job for several hours, not several days...

I have already written a post about having mixed feelings in response to female characters written in a misogynistic way; here is just another example. Lady Jiang's shrill insults make me want to curl up, cover my ears and close my eyes to hide, or to shout back to chase her away. And at the same time I hate that someone deliberately presented a woman speaking her mind and reasserting her right as a co-lead of the household in an offputting way, to show how she's ruining the family by not being docile and submissive enough. And -- I still don't have anything to like in her to spite the misogynistic writing; should I invent something out of principle, or should I play along with the misogyny game?

As someone more familiar with Japan than China (fantasy or not), it breaks my brain every time I notice people wearing shoes inside lmao

For the first time in this show, after I thought "give him a hug already", a character actually did it on screen

After watching 7 episodes in one day, I am finally skipping the opening sequence for the first time

even when the mother fights the bad guys, she somehow does it in a shitty classist way. the purple whip and the combat handmaidens are cool tho

the trio screaming for their father departing to certain death was the first thing in the show to make me cry

kinda wild how the show fluctuates between: 20%: a compilation of time-tested relationship tropes :) 80%: well that was nice while it lasted but back to the plot. HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN IT'S PARENT DEATH AND CLAN DESTRUCTION TIME

Unrelated to anything above, I'm still hoping for a scene (maybe near the end of the flashback for maximum dramatic irony) where WWX says jokingly to LWJ "Whose funeral have you been dressing for?", with the answer hanging in the air but remaining unsaid: "Yours, Wei Wuxian" (wouldn’t work at the point I’m at rn, for example, because he’s currently mourning his entire clan)

#the untamed #blah blah blah

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steve0discusses · 5 years

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Yugioh S4 Episode 2: Rebecca...She’s back, I guess?

So I got hella sick this week so it’s...just one update this weekend. The rest of the next update has the caps done but then the copy I was putting together got very distracted about which Founding Father was the hottest and I think that was the Dayquil? I barely know what day of the week it is rn. I think it’s Saturday, is it Saturday?

Anyway, we’re battling that Monocle guy. Gurimo? Yeah his name is Gurimo. I honestly can’t remember him saying his name even once, so thanks Google for the help.

It’s a new season so not only did we suck all the power out of God Cards but now you can’t use them anymore with the new glowing green mechanic. The writers really did just...a lot to make it so God Cards are no longer relevant. Like they buried them so far.

This guy repeats himself quite a lot about being soul hungry? Yeah I watched all of Sailor Moon so like, I’m super up to date on my soul energy anime. I’ve walked this path before I know it well.

(read more under the cut)

Such a shame we can’t read those stats which may just be Hebrew letters in lorem ipsum (note that when Pegasus makes you a card, you don’t get to have stats) but it’s nice to know that, if you wanted to, you could play Rex and Weevil in universe of the show and something would happen.

Anyway, Gurimo lost, his eyes went all glowy red at some point, and decided to go out throwing stuff because it’s Yugioh and you have to throw cards at least 3 times a season, its in the contract.

Don’t think about physics guys, just trust that cards can do this on a roof where there’s no wind for some reason.

And then he went up in a green ball of glory. It was nice of the green beam of soul energy to wait until the impossible card toss was over.

Lol this show and how it just kills people on screen just...all the time. All the freakin time. Can’t show a gun, but murder as many people as you like. It’s OK, his soul is in a paper card so he’s not *really* dead. That won’t terrify children under the age of 10.

So Pharaoh decides to do the tactic of telling a bunch of motorcycle gang edgy kids (adults? not sure about those three) that stealing is Wrong.

They also, youknow, are implicit in murdering Rex and Weevil but youknow, stealing is wrong and the God Cards don’t belong to them and Pharaoh is shook that these kids won’t keep their end of their bargain that whoever wins the card fight keeps the cards.

So basically Gurimo died for freakin nothing.

Welcome back to the fold, Rex and Weevil, apparently this show isn’t done with you yet. I was pretty much done with both of you 3 seasons ago but alas, you will be back, with your raspy as hell voice acting, at the beginning of S5. I am sure of it.

(PS I just noticed I spelled resurrect wrong and I know I should go back into photoshop but like...I’m too sick to care at this moment so maybe I’ll change it in the next week or so I dunno, I’m just gonna post this thing so I can feel like I did something productive today.)

And so these kids decide the police are never going to freakin show up to the rooftop brawl where a guy super died and several children were endangered and a huge beam of light you can see from space went out like a bat signal to the rest of the city of “ps, something bad is happening over here, if any of you adults feel like helping out these four high school drop outs? Nobody?”

First, they decide to keep this horrible thing:

(which second thought is not SO surprising, because Yugi clearly loves hoarding dead people)

And then this other horrible thing:

Why would you keep these? Why would you do this?

I mean Yugi’s got such specific dark tastes that I wouldn’t be half surprised if his closet is filled with dozens and dozens of rat skulls he collected from the subway station.

And then the next day, Yugi decided to just like watch Joey and Tristan dangle Rex and Weevil like puppets. It just seemed super unnecessary.

Like Yugi isn’t even Pharaoh right now but he’s absolutely fine with these guys getting shook around. Yugi is all sorts of gray area in this show and I’m glad that’s never changed although sometimes it’s like “Is Yugi slowly turning into a mob boss? Because I’m down, but also somewhat concerned?”

Anyway, the God Cards aren’t even here anymore so we say farewell to Rex and Weevil who seem just as confused at how the hell you can steal a God Card as we are.

*not entirely sure where Rex and Weevil are from. I’ve been assuming the UK or the US but like...maybe they live here? I don’t even know.

And then Chibiusa--I mean Rebecca showed up.

Ah, remember this plot point from S1? What if she shows up and (according to Bro) Just never leaves?

I’m coming to terms with this. Anyway, Rebecca’s only purpose seems to be as a part of a (love????) triangle (square????) between Yugi and Tea but like...

And maybe this is the Dayquil speaking but...

Is this even weird?

Seriously, they’re family friends, why is this weird? Maybe it’s because one of Rebecca’s core traits is that she’s American and I’m also an American so I don’t even see a problem with Rebecca and how she acts (since she’s a freakin child with a crush on a card-famous person) but like what small child see her friend she hasn’t seen in 2 years and is not going to hug him?

Anyway, Yugi was the worst to not remember this chick. Maybe his brain looks like a box of loose packing peanuts (I say as a metaphor remembering that his brain literally looks like an Escher painting screensaver), but he can’t remember this chick from just 2 years ago that he gave his rarest card to? The chick who’s grandfather had that blue-eyes he gave to Yugi’s Grandfather? The chick who’s grandfather helped his grandfather get that necklace around Yugi’s neck? The necklace he wears every single day and is super cursed by?

How do you forget the Hawkins when they are part of the reason everyone thinks you’re losing your mind?

But I guess she looks older now and got a pair of glasses (bifocals????). She No longer has her hair in pigtails but, I dunno, she looks basically the same to me since she’s still about the same size as Yugi but wtv.

And then Yugioh was like “Listen everyone, we’re very tired of all of your angry reviews, and I see y’all are saying we never do romance, well get ready, we know how to do romance really well, get ready for it, we can make things move faster than a snail in wet cement, just watch.”

Because somehow, after Yugi was the biggest asshole ever to Rebeca, I guess she figured like “well, at least you’re still card famous”

You know what? I have several girlfriends who I am not dating, but, if it’s been a couple weeks since they’ve seen me last, will give me a huge as drunk hug on my arm and go “MY LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND MARRY ME” and like...Again I’m American so maybe this is just my culture here in California?

I’d like to believe that Rebecca is just messing with these people because she can.

Ps I’m pretty sure this girl was 6 last time we saw her but they decided...we better age her up if it’s gonna be a romance but they only made her 12. OK show. Yugi’s pushing 17 at this point so like...barely even logical. I’d say legal but I’m thinking more of just logic at this point because the last time we saw this girl she was holding a teddy bear (which we can guarantee is probably still shoved into her luggage)

...OK, show...

Now listen listen listen. All ships are fine here. I’m not gonna go after shipping because like, c’mon, it’s 2019. If you stan Rebecca and Yugi, go for it, why not? I’ve said it before, and my feelings haven’t really changed, I’m immune to shipping, so I feel absolutely no different with Rebecca and Yugi than I do with Tea and Yugi. I think Tea makes more sense, but that’s not saying very much because literally anyone else on this cast who isn’t related to him could probably work. Go ahead and bring back Mako Tsunami. There’d be a fun pair.

Bro got very excited when I mentioned a MakoxYugi pairing just now ps.

But it really does feel like this ship has the dynamic of the Usagi/Chibiusa/Mamaru ship from Sailor Moon where Usagi was always jealous of small little Chibiusa spending time with Mamaru who was her OWN DAD. Why would you EVER be jealous of a 12 year old girl hanging with your boy...friend? Tea is a 17ish year old ballerina who never, ever wears full pants. She’d have this in the bag if she ever decided to like...do anything with...this. And I don’t blame Tea for never doing anything with “this” because like...look at “this.”

I just don’t think the writing team knows how to write a competent love triangle (square) but...this exists now. They even had Rebecca decide to dress nearly identically to Tea as a demonstration of her devotion but like...it honestly comes off more that this small child just admires Tea. Because she’s 12.

Yugi is just babysitting this girl for his Grandfather and it feels like the writing team just had to have the girls be all catty at eachother. Because it’s a kids show. Gotta have those girls all catty. Can’t let them be friends.

Anyway, back at this museum that these kids visit so freakin often, you’d think they’d change their home address, we meet up with the granddads in question.

Ah, now Ishizu is no longer with us, Exposition Grandpa is here to take the torch. Can’t wait for that.

And I made his font gray because I freakin give up. Grandpa Hawkins might change his font color every episode. I...I’m figuring it out.

And then, every helicopter in Domino shed a single tear.

Wow. I’ve been so mad for so many seasons that they never use a freakin seaplane to cross the ocean that when they actually do I’m like...kind of disappointed?

I mean it’s not shaped like a dragon, but I will take this perfectly acceptable seaplane.

I can’t believe they drew a normal ass plane. on this show.

*Waits patiently for it to turn into a blimp next episode*

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read all the caps in chrono order. There’s over 3 seasons of this. Y’all I’ve done over 100 episodes.

#Yugioh #Ygo #episode recap #photo recap #Yugi Muto #Rebecca Hawkins #Tea Gardner #Joey Wheeler #Gurimo #The biker guys I think one is called valon or something #tristan taylor #grandpa muto #grandpa hawkins #so I found out only the first 5 tags are searchable so I don't know why Im bothering writing so many tags other than it's fun #S4 #Ep2

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jestbee · 6 years

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THE FINAL GOOGLE FEUD - timestamps

That video was one of my favourites in a while so here are some timestamps under the cut

They’re quite Phil heavy... for some reason.

00:20 Dan advises we shouldn’t get up to anything we wouldn’t tweet. Phil disagrees and saying you ‘get up to a lot when you aren’t tweeting’ um... what things, Phil?

00:29 they’ve tucked their webcam on the tv away - They’re so into privacy. Not that they’re shouldn’t be, of course, it’s just an observation.

00:43 Phil sometimes runs through the lounge naked when he forgets a towel. I mean the bathroom is on another floor entirely Phil but... good to know.

01:00 Dan says “people aren’t going to delete their hard drives so what are they going to do with these recordings...” I mean, I know he’s talking about the recordings from Siri etc but I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of recordings Dan has on his hard drive he doesn’t want someone getting a hold of

01:22 Crazy eyes Phil is in full effect in this video. They’re both a mess. I love them.

01:31 not too crazy to forget getting that spon in though, are you Phil?

01:45 Phil’s northern ‘where my bloody phone’ is just lovely

01:49 Phil’s voice is a lil bit off-camera and I like it

02:03 Dan used to have dry skin, now it’s oily. I think it might be just age mate, mine used to be oily now it’s dry... these things happen.

02:07 you ‘forgot’ did you Dan? Or maybe you’re not as up on your memes as your purport to be and had to look that one up

02:23 the ice cap was better. Thank you for an opinion, Phil.

02:38 Dan doesn’t want one of the Try New Things t-shirts. I am disappoint.

02:42 garbled amazingphilshop.com spon

02:46 I love it when they instantly know which song the other is going to sing and join in. Synchronised

02:54 Phil back with his nipple obssession

02:55 do they call it a Prince Albert in other countries? Do people outside the UK get that joke?

03:00 Phil is offended nipple isn’t included

03:10 “the dirty place” Oh, Phil. Come on.

03:16 Ladydoor, really? I thought we got past this

03:27 Dan’s whiny little “you don’t deserve it” nice.

03:34 Phil dreams some weird stuff, and Dan is sceptical because he knows all of Phil’s family

03:52 Phil thinks eyebrow piercings look pretty cool

03:57 Phil is offended at the idea of people getting BOTH nipples pierced. apparently his nipple obsession only extends to one nipple at a time.

04:20 Phil calls Dan out for not being cultured.

04:29 synchronised rocking starts

04:36 synchronised rocking stops

04:49 The phone rings - Phil’s phone voice is adorable

05:53 This entire section is pure GOLD - Why is Phil so flirty?

05:03 Phil’s “No I can’t, I don’t have legs” reminds me of interactions between @ineverhadmyinternetphase and @charlottekath for some reason. I am surrounded by adorkable nerds who are too cute for this world.

05:13 them unspokenly knowing they’re doing best of 3 in rock paper scissors... just that long standing tradition going strong to this day. beautiful.

05:19 Phil: Shall we do a mukbang instead of this video? (Not that I’m not enjoying this video, Phil. But Yes please eat your pizza and 10 thousand dips with us!)

05:32 How Phil managed to keep that white tshirt clean while eating pizza is beyond me.

05:58 Phil: Men can be milked Dan: *oh-my-god-why-is-he-like-this expression*

06:14 Phil almost does that shoulder punchy thing he does to Dan

06:21 Phil back with the nipple talk - this time it’s about whales

06:27 Dan makes bull semen joke, Phil explains it away to simple kicking

06:54 no Capita£ester jokes because they are getting tired but, like.. Phil you are a millionaire.

07:05 I’m not sure what Dan is really trying to say here but lol for the extra spinning tour spon.

07:09 Dan guesses dog AGAIN. Also, ‘Same’ suddenly those pet play fics aren’t that far fetched huh?

07:29 Dan is so done with this game

07:41 Phil is starting to get annoyed - cute lil neck grab

07:49 Phil has told the whole kid-drawing-hands story before, I’m pretty sure

08:08 Dan guessing dog pays off - Phil is not amused

08:25 even less amused that cat doesn’t work

08:40 - 08:58 Phil debates on whether to put sharks as an answer

09:12 Phil: “A tampon, see I said!” When? What did they cut out?

09:18 Why the eyebrows over shingles... what do you think shingles are, Dan?

09:28 Dan is done with this game again because it isn’t relatable to him specifically

09:31 Phil gets it wrong again and head desks for the first time

09:36 I can’t help but think the Jestina thing started as something a little closer to home and Phil is in on the joke. Idk. Does Dan have an Aunt Jess or something? Also, why Peru? idgi

09:52 Phil’s expression on the “what?” is... idk. I liked it.

10:02 finally Phil gets one right - Dan isn’t impressed

10:07 Dan, wtf is this accent?

10:14 Phil attempts to skip the question and cut it from the video. Didn’t work, did it?

10:20 Phil forgets the category they picked

10:28 Phil is surprised he is the only one in the world that hates cheese - hands in hair and on the back of his neck... I’m not ashamed to say I rewound this little bit.

10:36 Phil is concerned this will be a bad video because they aren’t winning. Oh Phil, do you think people come here for the gameplay?

10:40 Lean in further Dan, I dare you

10:45 Dan intensely wants to know who this person is. Who is the person I don’t know Phil? Have you been speaking to other people without me there Phil? Who is it who is it who is it? Oh wait... someone hates Christmas?

10:51 Dan with the accent again

10:56 please stop dabbing. it wasn’t funny when you started and it still isn’t. sometimes I wish they wouldn’t latch on to every internet meme that children find funny tbh

11:04 I know that in your household spoon is used as a term of endearment and that has therefore left you a little confused but here in not-dnp land, people aren’t generally confused as to why they’re called spoons enough to google it.

11:10 Phil is really losing the plot rn. More head-desk hide-in-tshirt combos

11:12 attempts to put his head directly in Dan’s lap

11:20 Phil writes ‘Dan sucks’ as an answer - why is this so cute?

11:26 Don’t pretend you didn’t linger on that arm touch there

11:28 Dan being loud and Phil telling him to shush is my favourite. Also Dan actually looking chided and listening? Amazing.

11:42 I’m going to kill you to death

11:53 Phil’s face at getting the answer wrong looks so done. Why do I like this? Why... I have issues.

12:10 I will never forgive them for the jump cut before Phil booping Dan’s face softly with his fist. never.

12:16 They didn’t used to roughhouse this much did they? I’m almost used to it except that I’m not

12:22 Dan... why the accent? I know you’re trying to suggest the common google user is stupid and this is the voice you are using to express that but just... stop. I just realised... it’s Jessica. He thinks the general google user is Jessica.

12:31 Phil asking the questions we’re all thinking

12:44 Phil throws down the gauntlet

12:49 Phil knows what he’s done

13:04 Phil is mad and I am... into that? apparently? - at least he’s courteous enough to be quiet about it unlike Daniel

13:13 Why would I want to make someone cry? Jealous. Um, Phil, why would you want to make someone jealous? And why is that where your mind went first?

13:23 they mock all of the vaguely sentimental answers just in case we think they might have googled them at some point. Protest too much boys?

13:37 Phil is intense while Dan sings us a song from the ii playlist

13:41 you are children.

14:00 smug Dan is smug

14:08 More angry Phil and I need a minute

14:20 Srs bsnss Phil is concentrating with everything he has

14:30 Yeah, I don’t really get that either, Dan

14:42 Phil loses. No more Google Feud.

14:49 Phil stops the end screen to propose something crazier

15:10 Dan tries to wheel Phil out of shot again as is his go to move. But... I mean, did you notice he isn’t pushing on the chair? That’s just Phil’s knee. I felt like you needed to be made aware of that fact. Just... for reasons.

15:20 Phil attempts to continue his all or nothing with a forfeit of licking something and looks around the room for something that he could lick as punishment... I could suggest something if you like, Phil.

(At this point this video might have driven me a bit crazy)

15:27 Phil head desks right on to Dan’s arm

Blah blah blah end screen.

#timestamps #dan and phil #dnp #I'm ill today and this is the first thing I've done that isn't laying still in the dark so apologies for the incoherency #also the times may be one or two seconds out

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spacefuneral · 6 years

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rules: tag 15 people you want to know better

I was tagged by @marshcrone (,: thank uuuuu~

Relationship status: not 2 be gay but i luv my girlf

Favorite colors: uhhh purple, mint green, soft pink, like... tangerine orange

Lipstick or chapstick: chapstick i Guess

Favorite food: uhhh hmmm i feel my favorite Meal is beef roast w/ mashed potatoes and broccoli, but it’s probably pork bc I’m a pork fiend and will eat it without anything else. Eggs and pasta are also good options.

Song stuck in my head: Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second by STRFKR. My art professor is a cutie and plays a looot of music I like, and she was playing STRFKR the other day.

Last movie i watched: LOL I THINK IT WAS SLENDER MAN THAT’S TRAGIC

Top 3 tv shows: uhh i don’t watch a lot of tv but uh. I like Stranger Things, Adventure Time, Bob’s Burgers, Chopped, Great British Bake Off... I like Letterkenny even if I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone I know? Over The Garden Wall is another and I recommend it to Everyone. Uhhh. Idk. Idk what would be my fave either. Maybe Adventure Time?

Books i’m currently reading: I ordered The Secret History and I’m waiting on it. I started Great Expectations but it made me sad for personal reasons, but it’s pretty delightful. I’m supposed to be reading The Odyssey but fuck that.

Last thing i googled: lmao... “degrees of murder” because i was wondering why Robert Pickton was considered a second degree murderer. Before that, I had googled “Steel Magnolias Armadillo Cake.” lMao.....

Time: 12:07 AM

How many blankets do you sleep in: one!

Dream trip: I actually don’t really have much of a wanderlust, which tends to surprise people. I do really want to visit Oregon and Washington, though! I want to see........ Big.......... Tree......

Anything you really want: clear skin

Age: 23, turning 24 in October~

Birthplace: Maine

Drink you had last: coked cola

Easiest person to talk to: Like, in my life? I can talk to my girlfriend about literally everything and always have, she is A Blessing. My friend group is also extremely easy to talk to because we’ve been friends for like practically a decade almost, but I feel bad when I joke about my abuse because it’s really only funny to me and probably Vi because we can laugh about those things together. Sometimes You Gotta Laugh 2 Cope.

Favorite song: I feel like it’s technically Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears. I tend to have current favorites, though, and mine is definitely Nobody by Mitski rn.

Grossest memory: Well. Like. In a funny sense? It was probably when Leigh and I made a trash smoothie out of everything liquid in their fridge and then took turns sipping it. I spat it out as soon at it touched my tongue.

Or maybe the time Vi and I found her mom’s potatoes rotting in the cupboard, which was soaked with a weird liquid coming from them, and it smelled like rotten fish.

Hogwarts house: Slytherin

In love?: yah duh

Jealous of people?: not really

Killed someone?: imagine casually mentioning you killed someone in a survey thing like this

Love at first sight or walk by again?: nobody says it like that but uh. i don’t know shit, dude. i think emotions are more complicated than that, but what do i know?

Middle name: fish

Number of siblings: two

One wish: tuition money

Person you last called: the bank i think?

Questions you’re asked the most: um i can’t think of this off the top of my head but i get “you like cats?” a lot because im always covered in cat related shit

Reasons to smile: i’m tired so i can’t be cute and creative, but i’d say my stupid cats are a fantastic reason. My brother sent me a message telling me his favorite Animal Crossing song unprompted today. Bergs @’s me in so many things that I lose track of it--and when I check the group blog, I find 23423 cat things Vann reblogged. Vi and I have so many inside jokes at this point that I feel like we don’t even say them out loud half the time anymore. Just, something happens that reminds us and we exchange a look and laugh. Also, the fact that my friends trust me and come to me about their personal issues is very touching and I’m happy I can be that person.

Song you last sang: lmfao Vi and I sang parts of Motion City Soundtrack’s The Future Freaks Me Out to each other in the car and I hella overcompensated for how high he says “betty won’t stop listening to modern rock”

Time you woke up: Ummmm. I woke up at 5 AM and couldn’t sleep but I officially got out of bed at 7:30 AM. Then I fell asleep again when I got home for, like, 8 hours, because I’m kinda sick lately.

Vacation destination: I like visiting my family in Maine. It’s a really lovely place and my heart is buried there for all eternity.

Zodiac sign: Libra!

Worst habit: mmmmmm............... humble 2 a fault. Or, maybe, uh. Perfectionist? I’m never really happy with anything I do.

Tagging: @i-say-spooky-you-say-scary @daaraen @wubby-desu @webkitten @estrangedlabor i just noticed it says 15 people wtf i don’t even know -2 people

also, if you wanna do this, i can tag you~

#me #survey #idk if i have a tag for this shit #fish gets emotional

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survivorgalaxysedge · 3 years

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Episode 5 | Forgive Me Cowtown For I Have Sinned - Ari

ohhhhh i found something JUICY tonight!!! so yesterday the hosts got tired of me constantly asking how many fuel i have and gave me the command to view it, and i knew i was outta points so i was like ok cool we'll check it out tomorrow. TURNS OUT the scorekeeper bot shows you not just your personal points.... but the points of everyone in the game.... and WHOM is number two on that list with 36 entire points? that's right. my best friend keegan. my first thought was wtf ew how did he already recover from my sabotage, i feel zero percent guilty about doing that now! and then my second thought was WAIT...... this is PERFECT. so you can bet i ran right to all three of my allies to be like "hey omg i found something shady :0 didn't keegan say all his fuel got blown up the other day? well i pulled some receipts and it turns out he still has all of it! why would he lie about that??? so sus!" and now i'm laughing because there could not be a more perfect excuse to get him gone!!! i'm not gonna push it any more than that right now - for all i know, we'll prob win the next challenge again - but i've tucked the ammo away in my pocket, planted the ari seed in jonathan and zoe's heads, and i'll let it sit pretty there until i need it. also, i ended up telling ali what i did to keegan simply because he is 100% not going against me and i needed someone to tell me i'm funny, so i also let him know about this plan o mine and that we could use this against sir keegan, which he's so down for. god. i cannot wait to tell mj about all this shit.

Jacob being voted out of NuTrian is the second best thing that could have happened. Preferably Nathan but my OG Andro and Jessie are safe so that’s very good. Now we’ve got a Guess Who challenge which is okay. I don’t care if we get first or second, I just really really don’t want to get last. Let’s keep the good vibes going and be safe for a fifth straight tribal council. Ali told me he scored 11 points, I scored 10. I hope Zoe can whip out her survivor magic with a score of 8 or 9. And then hopefully Jonathan can pull out a good score as well. Nathan and Zach have both scored 12 on this challenge before, so I can only hope they keep up with that and score high again. Gotta make sure those other tribes flop. I’m still incredibly uncertain about how to play this steal a player advantage. It’s possible we ride this 3 tribe split all the way to merge. My guess is merge at 11 or 10. That would be quite a few tribals to go without another swap but it’s certainly possible. Though I could absolutely see a swap now at 12. Two tribes of six, and then merge at 10. A final 3 with 7 jurors perhaps? Either way, I think I’ll hold on to this advantage until it seems likely that I’ll need it. No sense in causing some chaos if it isn’t necessary.

ok so i'm doing well in challenges rn, as best as i can at least, and i feel like that's the only thing keeping me alive bc.... nobody talks to me. i feel like i'm starting every one on one conversation and desperately trying to keep it alive and not be left on read. idk if they're like this with each other or if its just me but !!!!!! it doesnt make me feel good abt potentially losing a challenge. so i will just keep carrying my weight and keeping my cute little head down and pray im just being paranoid<3

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WELL We lost the immunity challenge which is the first loss after four straight immunity wins. That was a nice little break while it lasted. The obvious choice right off the bat is to vote for Ali. Keeps the OG Andro tribe fully intact, and avoids the most possible drama. However, I worry he might have found the Circi idol from his original tribe. Plus whatever advantage he may have gotten from the first challenge of the season. So the alternate thought is to maybe vote for Jonathan or Zoe. I adore Ari would not want to vote them out. It's tempting to throw a vote on one of them in the event of Ali playing an idol, just to keep myself safe. But if Ali doesn't have an idol, that could cause a whole world of issues. On the flip side, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if some or any of my tribe mates decided to throw my name under the bus. I haven't been the most social person and while I have definitely pulled my weight in the challenges, I could see them having their own little group that's willing to throw my under the bus and make things as painless as possible for the rest of them, especially considering they've all said they like Ali a lot. Ahhh this is all so much worse considering I have the hidden immunity idol. I don't want to waste it, but I also don't want to pull a Kellee Kim and go home with it in my pocket.

youtube

it's kind of ridiculous how well this is all going???? why havent they voted me out yet i am running this shit -talked to ali, told him he's gonna be fine we just need to get people to vote for keegan -talked to jonathan, convinced him keegan is the most logical vote "because he's shady" and because it also means we can vote ali easily next time (versus going down to andro 4 and having it get much more messy) -jonathan was like "should we tell ali right before the vote?" and i was like i think you should call him and see where his head is at and we can go from there, jonathan said ok good point, if he says he wants to vote keegan and he also tells you that without any prompting from either of us we know he's real about it -yeeted myself into ali's dms the very second jonathan hung up like OK LISTEN HERE IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY WHEN HE CALLS YOU, HE CANT KNOW I TOLD YOU ANY OF THIS -ali called me half an hour later like "omg we had such a good talk i love jonathan now deadass, i told him exactly what you said to say and he's so down" -presumably in the morning jonathan will call me and say "wow had a great talk with ali he seems cool and great and he said he'd vote keegan, what did he tell you?" and i can say "yeah same he mentioned keegan so i think we're good!" and jonathan will feel like we Did This Together and ali will feel like i Did This For Him and everyone will be in love with me -all i have to do tomorrow is make sure zoe is on board & that she doesn't feel pushed, and prob call keegan and make him some vague promises about working together long term, and then cross my fingers that i don't get blindsided during my editorial meeting at 9pm est i am having so much fun

i just keep thinking about how funny it’s gonna be when we get to merge and mj tells me to vote out all these people i’ve been making f2s with and i’ll be like “okay!!!!<3”

youtube

Not to go back to INV this round, but not much has been going on. I've been keeping up socializing but since we're not going to tribal it's been more quiet than it has been last round. I'm really glad we won though bc I feel vulnerable if we go to tribal again. Cindi seems close to Nathan, and Nathan and Jessie seem closer to each other than they will be to me so I'm worried I'd be an easy vote. So I'm really hoping for a swap or merge tonight, or at least a challenge we can excel in. Don't want it to come down to one point again.

^_^ Okay, so no important updates with this tribe! It's freaking QUIET. I haven't talked to Zach or Silver at ALL since being with this tribe. I've talked to Jules a lot and Asya some, though. I'd like to work with the two of them if possible and if we ever go to tribal here, which I don't want to do because uhhh it's worrisome! Anyway, the only actual update I have is that I found the legacy advantage!!! Randomly at like 2AM I found it. I don't remember what I was doing exactly... I think I just went to watch the Circi round 3 tribal and then the Trian round 4 tribal... and then I think I went to watch the Tribe Swap video to see if there was some sort of announcement made regarded the Oxygen Tank amounts because I was confused why that number was changed more than double. I guess I was also thinking that since the hosts didn't make an announcement that the adventure was resetting at the swap then MAYBE there would be a new twist/advantage inserted elsewhere for this next phase of the game? Now, being the crackhead that I am, of course back on original tribes, I SEARCHED everywhere on the blog that I could think of. Extenders URLs, the source code, hidden hyperlinks - everything. Nothing was there. But in this case, my brain said, hmm, let's just scroll down and see if there's anything in the description of the Tribe Swap Youtube video...and... there was!! I didn't really know what it was at first but when I opened it everything CLICKED! Finally the Reem Cameo from launch night serving a bigger purpose made total sense. After seeing this link in the description though and realizing it was calling back to something we were told about night one, I went back and checked to see if this had been hidden all along, and of course it's literally in the description of the Cast Reveal video!!! and every other video after that!!! Keeping in mind that I found this 11 days into the game, I was like, oh there's definitely some nerd that found this instantly on night 1 so I'm probably just gonna get a message saying nothing here or something like that. Obviously that wasn't the case though. I think nobody found this because I lot of people operate via mobile in these, and Youtube descriptions require an addition click to reveal what's there. Alternatively, for desktop users, who the hell is scrolling down for any reason while you're watching videos from your ORG?? It's nothing something anyone does naturally. So that explains that. Anyway, I'm happy I found it even though it has absolutely no use until Day 39. I will say though that having this and knowing that, it has really motivated me to get to the end of this game. Coincidentally, HOURS before I found this, I had a conversation with Jules about how quiet this tribe has been and that I'd like to start working towards bettering our positions moving forward seeing as there are people here with more/stronger connections than either of us. I just love that I found an advantage that motivates me to start playing this game, exactly how I'd voiced to Jules about feeling a desire to start doing SOMETHING. We love a live narrative!!!! Anyway, I'm not gonna tell Jules about the legacy advantage because it's an advantage that incentivizes people to vote out the owner and have it passed on. I trust Jules, we go YEARS back and have to successful runs as allies under our belts, but this is just something I'd like to keep to myself. Earlier today I also decided that I'm probably never gonna tell Ari about it either if our paths ever (hopefully) cross in this game. I wanna surprise my bestie! At any rate, Jules did tell me that Zach and Asya seem like the type of players that only play on tribal days (at least in this case of this game) which is fine, but I've played a few super intense, intimate, and high-stakes ORGs in the past couple of years which has made me prioritize personal relationships with people over barebones game relationships. This makes dealing with people who aren't that interested in getting to know me or revealing themselves to me a SUPER off-putting experience and a drastic change of pace from what I've become accustomed to. But I'm totally capable of adapting to this environment... I just don't necessarily prefer it. I feel like I have room to connect with Asya on a personal level if given the chance. Zach and Silver I don't know. Although, I do think that if we ever lose immunity here I could for sure spit some game to Silver that would make him believe I want to work with him. I already have an idea of how that conversation goes, and the potential negative consequence of it is practically non-existent on this swap tribe, whereas it could have backfired on me if original Trian lost that third challenge. Anyway, I'll get into that whenever we lose or if I get bored and initiate that chat just to feel something lol

No tribal ever again until merge or swap please. Jessie would be the one I'd want out and I assume Jay would as well but she has Nathan's shard so, like, he'd lose that and then I lose my hope of getting both their shards and misplaying my first idol because I'm not good at survivor

Yayyyy we won immunity. Idk what much else to say except that I got 40 fuel tanks

today i am mad and sad. lost the challenge, was my fault bc purple not pink. no i will not elaborate. now ari jonathan and i have decided to save ali and vote out keegan. i hope it goes well. i am filled with anxiety. i don’t even want keegan to go, we just have to make the decision based on the fact that we don’t want to be seen as a tight alliance going into merge, and keegan can make it look like there was a crack therefore not making us look strong. but he is just sacrificial unfortunately. but we’ll see how it goes. i’m still anxious

Wow we won what a concept See what happens when we don’t throw comps ? Anyways yeah that’s it I guess lol

Honestly I I'm done with these hoes I'm ready to vote off Keegan

This is definitely a very stressful and emotional tribal. I hate that we’re voting for Ali because he is a genuinely fantastic person and under different circumstances I think we could have worked really well together in this game. But when there’s a 4-1 tribe swap and the four of us have absolutely no beef with each other, there’s not a whole lot that can be done. None of my other 3 OG Andro players come across as big move players either. So unless I’m being straight up lied to and am about to get completely blindsided, it’s looking like a unanimous Ali boot. Which is incredibly sad. I really wanted us to win out until merge so we wouldn’t have to vote him out. But such is the game. Keegan signing off (hopefully not for the last time)

#toinfinityandsurvive

0 notes

survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years

Text

Ep. 8: “The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers.” - Najwah

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/OSh0mvYBSwo

James Hayden

We just got back from tribal and Ryan was blindsided 3-1. I feel bad for the guy because he had no idea this was going to happen, but that' Survivor for you. I thought there'd be a merge at 13, but Jay's questions at tribal put some doubt in my mind. If it's not a merge, then I think I'm an ok spot if my tribe has to go back to tribal. I'm just praying to the Survivor ORG gods for a merge today or tomorrow.

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/sg4qe6MUjJU

James Hayden

https://youtu.be/oGcQdHpBzhY

Zack M

i don't know how they did it but let's take a moment to shout out james and najwah making it through tribal! no idol needed. im so proud of them. i feel like james will gladly come back to our original alliance once we merge but najwah's commentary always leaves me feeling uneasy. no offense but like do you want to play with anyone, najwah? lol. you have to somewhat trust someone at some point in this game. i would love to work with najwah for as long as possible if she is still around after the merge but unfortunately all of the comments that have been made throughout the game will keep me from promising her anything longterm out of fear that she will run around like a crazy person at merge. also, i believe that she will be the first person to mention my name from hanuha in hopes of it becoming a big move that she could put on her resume. maola doesn't know me yet. i guess they could see me as a threat because of being picked as a captain but like i don't consider maddison a threat. lol. pedro and kalle seem to want revenge. i think it would be fun to get her out first at merge. i'm just rambling now. i'm hungry. we got the new challenge. it's some mini online games or something like that. idk. i'm not a gamer so i was like i have therapy and can't do this bye. i wonder if they think i'm making up my therapy sometimes but like if you guys have ever questioned it i promise i'm not. i have it monday, wednesday, and fridays lol. anyways, cody pedro and kalle are playing. i really only trust me and ben so like fml. hopefully pedro and kalle understand that they are playing for their lives and we win again. fingers crossed. ok i'm going to get chicken tenders. bye.

James Hayden

Things post tribal did not go according to plan. I would've put money on us merging tonight, but instead we have another tribe challenge. There's a small part of me that thinks Edge of Extinction is play in this season. After this challenge, we will be down to 12 people and seasons post 30 that have a 20 person cast merge at 13. I think there's a chance we do merge at 13, but the 13th person is the Edge returnee.

As far as this challenge is concerned, video games aren't my strong point. I'm not a gamer, but these games are pretty straight forward. If we have to go back to tribal I'm voting Amy. Voting out Najwah would hurt my game because it would show the rest of Hanuha that I'm not #Hanuhastrong and it would tie us back up at 6 original Hanuha and 6 original Maola. Voting out Amy gives us a 7-5 advantage heading into a potential merge, shows I'm #Hanuhastrong, and weakens Maddison who I think was the ringleader of Maola 1.0.

Najwah

Last night's tribal was interesting and actually the hardest tribal council. Ryan started a group with James and I 7 minutes after Palena was formed which already made us weary of him. He then tried to blindside me and made me believe he's blindsiding Amy and asked me about James and his previous alliance and it was just a mess. He's an awesome person and great team player but it was just too much scrambling and we all feared he'd flip flop throughout the game, which is dangerous. I'm trying not to use this space as therapy sessions lmao so I'll keep it short. Uhm, I think i have a good thing going with Amy and James. I just really hope we win this challenge, or rather, don't come last so that I can work with them going forward. Amy let me know she has a steal a vote and I told her about my fake idol and we'd like to work together. I really like these two people. A LOT. I lied in tribal when I said I didn't want to keep things Hanúha strong going forward. I can't believe I have to lie and blindside now lmao its becoming HECTIC. I'm really hoping we did enough to at least place second in this challenge. 🤞🏽🤞🏽

Olivia A

I’m doing so bad at all of these games rn and I feel so bad bc I asked specifically to not sit out of this challenge. I play little phone games and stuff literally all the time and am really good at them and for some reason am just doing so so bad today. If we lose then it’s probably my fault but also my alliance of 3 is really solid rn so I’m not actually worried about getting voted off. I still feel so bad I hate this so much.

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/8QZTwYzVqVI

Pedro A

if tomorrow is the merge IMMM GONNA DIEEEEE...we won once again..cause we the baddest.....honestly how am i still alive?...LIKE HOW??....chilllleeee

Olivia A.

Okay woah I’m so happy about this win I was so nervous. I feel like we’re in a really good place going into the merge I’m excited :)

Pedro A

i was about to write my pled for help to the 3 hanuha original members..so they could keep me over kalle...but now who cares...i will throw anyone hunder the bus ....to get to that final

Cody A.

Coming into this game being the competitor that I am, I never imagined even entertaining the idea of throwing a challenge.... BUT when Ben came to me with the idea of making a big move on Zack, I’d be lying If I said I didn’t think about it.. That being said however, I didn’t throw it, but I also did not try as hard as I could have.... I’m very surprised we are not talking to Jay at tribal right now.. Moving forward though, we need Zack.. I need Zack.. If we are merging tonight it is strictly a numbers game from here. I am ready to get my hands dirty, make big moves, and WIN THIS DAMN GAME!!!

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXbaQPdhQw0&feature=youtu.be

Najwah

After that whole challenge experience and this entire week, I don't even know what to say. It's been a tiring experience. Being on a tribe where no one really connects is the worst. I tried telling James that the other tribes were highly competitive but for some reason he was okay with his scores? This entire week I've barely had any sleep. Even now, it's almost 5am and people are just on our tribe, OKAY with low scores? We were doomed from the beginning. The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers. Honestly, it messes with you psychologically too. I'm tired of scrambling and relying on tribemates to make an effort. I wanted to work with Amy but she's so difficult to get hold of/unresponsive even though we are on similar timezones. James is hellbent on keeping it Hanúha strong and really, hope he isn't playing me. My heart honestly cannot deal any betrayal so close to merge, I'd also like to just enjoy my Saturday. I deserve to be on the merge tribe. Will most likely be at the bottom ass of the tribe but I want to be in it, nonetheless. I worked for it. And right now, I'm exhausted. Annoyed. Frustrated. Fucking mad. This tribe swap has honestly been DRAINING. Everyone is too nice and meek and people just don't care about winning lol. I hate the anxiety and sleeplessness of these past few days. I forgot what life was like before this ORG lol what did I do? I miss Leanne, still. The best person in this game. I hate it here. I just want to get to merge and be able to breathe again.

Sarah

Ahhhhh I can’t believe our tribe, Maola, won the challenge by so much. I legit thought we were going to lose and didn’t have high enough scores. Aimee freaking killed it on her scores, wow. I have been telling Aimee how to buy the small perfume bottles that give you advantages and where to get coins to buy them. She used FIVE on that challenge yesterday (I wouldn’t have used all five butttt). Part of my strategy during this tribe swap has been buying/playing advantages so we don’t have to go to tribal because I still don’t know who is close to who, and the more I’m with this tribe the more I feel like they really just don’t talk to each other and there’s not much gameplay happening. Part of my strategy with convincing Aimee to buy and use advantages was also so I know how many coins she has because that can come in handy at Merge. I also wanted to give her information about the idol hunt (which I got from others— I’ve never actually idol hunted not knowing where or what I was getting) so she could trust me. I FREAKING hope tomorrow is the Merge! How awesome would it be for our original tribe to have the majority and for me to still have an idol. I feel like after this tribe swap, Cody and I will be in the best position in the game when it comes to all of our connections with people. We have our group with Zack and Ben, I feel close with James and now Aimee, and Cody feels close with Najwah. So we really are kind of in the middle and as long as people don’t find out about how close we are, we can just get all the information from others and share with each other. I guess I won’t stop posting a brick.... sorry.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjWjJwew7rc

Zack M

welp. i think this is it. could we finally be merging tonight after tribal? or are we swapping to two tribes of 6? that would be super lame. all i know is something is happening and i'm glad because i've been so bored in this tribe. we keep winning. there's no reason to play. i need action. the third tribe that starts with a p is going to tribal again. i don't remember the name. hopefully james and najwah stay hanuha strong so we can go into the merge 7 / 5. if najwah turns she will be my #1 target. she's too dangerous for my game to allow her to run around. other than that ... we came in second during the last competition. we were so lucky. the maola tribe killed it. i wish i would have played because our teams scores were low key pathetic. the p tribe could have beat us if all their players had participated. like is kalle even playing the game? is she here? i talked to her once. i know i should reach out in case it is the merge but it almost feels pointless. i'm sure she will run back to the 3 girls in maola. pedro seems to legit want revenge for john and is open to work together. i hope he isn't lying because i truly do want to take him as far as i can. look, i know i'm talking kind of cocky but i believe in acting in the way you want things to go. i'll be a clown if i'm blindsided. i don't mind. i like clowns. however, this is the way i see it going down in my head ... - we stay hanuha strong - we get out the 3 girls from maola - we get out kalle - we take out aimee and kalle - we take out pedro and james - we then take out sarah - then we have ben cody and i at finale 3 just how we planned it it could honestly work. we just have to figure out idols and make sure no one plays them correctly. and that's where i'm at right now. wish me luck.

Aimee

http://rebloggy.com/post/gif-pokemon-cute-anime-kawaii-charmander-s01e01/106470386286 Happy dance! I’m all for keeping this tribe together. Haha I may have gone a little over board on making sure I did my best on the flash games, but you really never know what the other tribe is going to be doing or getting on these challenges. I hope this doesn’t make me look like a challenge threat if I make it to merge. Sarah has really helped me with idol hunting and finding coins and where to find the advantages. This is great trust building! Thanks Hanuha for the free coins I yoinked from one of your bags at your camp.😏 After everything that happened in the last tribe and despite me voting for her, Sarah and I have really come a long way! I truly had the wrong read on her before. She is actually now someone I am very close with and get along well! Last night after we won immunity she told me she really wants to work with me moving forward in the game! Let’s do it girl! I really enjoy talking to Grae. They seem really genuine and such a kind-hearted person. They keep giving me little messages that seem to hint at wanting to work together. I think at this point it’s unspoken but we both know we would love to. We just get along so well. I also vibe really well with Maddison and I know she could be a very good ally in the future in this game. Olivia proved she is a total team player on this tribe and listened to our advice during the immunity challenge and really stepped up her scores! I am having such a much better time on this tribe and am really enjoying myself. These relationships feel WAY more organic. I will do what I can to help keep this going! I would love to see all of us make it to merge. I’m also so so happy Najwah is still in the game after her last tribal and hopes she makes it through the next tribal!

James Hayden

We are 45 minutes away from tribal and Najwah messaged me saying Amy is ok. We were worried about her because she's been MIA over the past couple days. Per Najwah, Amy will not play her vote steal. It sounds like Amy wants out of the game and if this is what she wants, I will oblige. There's a small part of me that thinks Amy is playing us, but I don't think that's the case.

Maddison

Everyone is expecting a merge tonight, and original Maola is down in numbers. Hoping I can find cracks and worm my way in.

Pedro A

SO i told everything to zack......he seems to rule that allience....so he will 100% tell the others....and will try to take grae and maddison out...

Pedro A

Grae and Maddison just create fake alliences.so people dont write their name down....and make people feel safe... AND im here to make justice for john PERIODTTTT.... #justiceforjohn

Ben Kessler

I hope we are merging. Pedro is out for revenge against his former alliance. Zack is a threat and I need it to be known. Cody and I are hopefully solidified. If we merge, grae and maddison are apparently big threats according to Pedro. So that is fine with me. Just gotta keep making sure the people I'm closest with stay in.

Kalle N

hey I'm super high rn and I don't remember if I did this already or not so her I go. I hope we merge soon so I can vote people out that have wronged me. can't believe we won the last challenge even after I did basically nothing. ok gtg ily bye

Amy A

So this round has been tough. My Internet issues were definitely the reason my tribe lost and I wanted to quit cos I felt so terrible but I think Najwah and I can do something with my steal a vote. I’ll steal hers and vote James so no one will suspect we’re working together and then go into the merge with our little secret alliance. Bliss

Olivia A

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Najwah

All I know is that shit is going to hit the fan at this tribal and I'm scared as hell. Only three of us. You'd think it would be easier but it's terrifying.

Cody A

https://youtu.be/QM4CiTbrjgw

Pedro A

im scared of the merge...scared of the girls allience...scared of me being a target...for being a wild card ...and scared of maddison and graeee.....kill me at this point

#episodes

0 notes

daylighteclipsed · 7 years

Text

tagged by @xxfrenchpineapplesxx. buckle up, kids, this is long

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: no 3. Text message: sometimes 4. Song you listen to: the one i have on repeat right now is 8teen by Khalid 5. Time you cried: i can honestly, happily say i haven't cried in a while

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: I'm only on #1 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: i mean...sorta 10. Been depressed: buddy i still am 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No and i never plan to

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: pink, blue, gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: not close friends but yeah! 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: haha yeah 18. Found out someone was talking about you: nope. even if someone was i probably wouldn't find out. i don't pay much attention to social stuff 19. Met someone who changed you: this past year? no 20. Found out who your friends are: i found that out years ago 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: whats a Facebook list

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: a good majority of them 23. Do you have any pets: a dog and two cats 24. Do you want to change your name: nah i really like my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went to classes like any normal day. then my bf surprised me at my dorm room later with a star. the sweetest birthday i’ve ever had. 26. What time do you wake up: around 8. sometimes a little earlier or a little later, just depends 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: getting home from work 28. Name something you can’t wait for: vacation at the beach on friday 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like an hour ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: umm...honestly? i’m pretty content with the way things are. but i guess i could do without being mentally ill. 31. What are you listening to right now: a box fan blowing in my room. its starting to lull me to sleep 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah i have an uncle tom 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: all i feel is sleepy rn idk 34. Most visited website: this one

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: i have a couple small ones all over and one bigger one on my lower back 36. Mark/s: i have a birthmark by my hip 37. Childhood dream: I vaguely remember wanting to be a veterinarian but that changed drastically 38. Hair color: dark brown 39. Long or short hair: Long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: my bf who is soft sunshine personified 41. What do you like about yourself: i will always stand up for who or what i believe in, even if I'm standing alone 42. Piercings: tried to pierce my ears before but that didn't go well 43. Blood type: yeah idk 44. Nickname: Gi 45. Relationship status: taken 46. Zodiac: aries 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Gravity Falls, Trollhunters, Parks and Rec, the Office,

49. Tattoos: kinda wanna get one, kinda don't wanna go through the pain of getting one 50. Right or left hand: both technically 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: I’ve got caramel highlights right now...ive always wanted to dye my hair a fun color, but the place where i work won't allow that and my hair’s not in the best shape as it is 53. Sport: used to play them in grade school, don't care for them much now 55. Vacation: the beach. any beach where its hot. preferably alone with luke without the rest of my family coming along. though we both need money to do that 56. Pair of trainers: tennies? i need new ones

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: saltine crackers 58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: go to bed probably. luke’s falling asleep in my lap :’) 61. Waiting for: once again, vacation 62. Want: For myself to maybe do a big thing this coming school year to benefit mentally ill kids like myself. but it requires a lot of energy and commitment and idk if i can give all that...i wish i wasn't so anxious and tired 63. Get married: someday 64. Career: author

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: around the same age? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I don't care tbh 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: god no 75. Drank hard liquor: no. stuff’s hard enough to drink even mixed with other things 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i break them more than i lose them 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: NO 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah... 80. Had your heart broken: by friends 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: oh yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: more than i used to i guess 85. Miracles: sometimes 86. Love at first sight: i believe in the idea of meeting someone and sorta knowing you’re going to care about this person, because that happened to me, but i don't call that love 87. Santa Claus: i wish 88. Kiss on the first date: if it feels right

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Luke 91. Eye color: Brown 92. Favorite movie: i can't choose one idk man

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: Of course you guys don’t have to do this because there are just so many questions omg

@diabeticjimlake @endae @imacreepygirl @australet789 @gettin-schwifty @lukersea @bulbas4ur @eztria @lunaparr @billycipher @ericbittlle and anyone else who wants to do it!

#lord this is a long one #but thanks for the tag my friend #:)#about me

11 notes · View notes

chelsanitys · 7 years

Text

anon post

for all 3 of my fans

i live for ur wit and sass

thx n same

Dont fuck with the best! Kate works hard to get the craziest anons to post in her yard, and I've got nothing but respect. There's no fan in the fandom as genuine and earnest as she is. Wishing her and her cats a long and healthy life!

lmao yall need to quit

you've probably answered this already but what do you think will give vm the best shot at the OG?

a good short dance + a good free dance + gui missing the catch-foot on his twizzle again

Are you taking the bar exam this summer?

no i just finished my first yr

I will cry if T&S end up together, They would be a horrible match. Surely I'm not the only one who sees this??

i am ashamed that this is the level of trollin i get. step up ur game!!

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" Poor Alex! Marrying him would probably restore his self confidence and prompt a return to the cfl! Still holding out hope!

honestly alex was the hottest of all her bfs. fedor is balding, has a dad bod n is wearing khakis on the beach now. and semple was always fug. also rl talk i didnt know canada had its own football league until this guy came around. thats so cute for canada

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" I want her with the Bitove guy. His family looks like the type that will post tons about them on sm afterward.

lmao yall know his grandfather started the toronto raptors?? i knew this brodie’s last name sounded familiar. also apparenty he and his fam golf at trump’s resort @ mar-a-lago VOM. tessa is 500% going to end up with a smarmy, filthy rich trust fund kid like him like its not even a question

Hey now. I want shippers to get overthemselves, too, but Tessa marrying Semple, god no. Basically, Tessa, open your eyes and save yourself.

lol i actually wish she was still dating him so all this mindless speculation rn would stop

Bitter and hateful is what I come here for. Anons should just fuck off and go to the Disney website if that's what they want.

vm fans are so damn soft n sensitive about everything lol, i rly wish some of yall would stop taking everything i say so seriously

Please come back, without your snark the fandom is controlled by the most delusional shippers.

i’ll post more when there r actually things 2 talk about. being around here when nothing is happening and ur all screaming into a vacuum about the same things over and over is like being institutionalized in a loony bin

why are you always up so late?

nhf for this east coast bias, it is a perfectly reasonable time in california

Which of the current/rising juniors do you see making tbe most impact next quad?

carreira/ponomarenko are going to win a olympic medal in 2022. even if the shibs, h/d and bock don’t retire, i see them easily rising through the pack - they just have the Look and aren’t without talent. i’m iffy on the rest - mcnamara/carpenter are too creepy and weird, parsons have no height difference and are siblings, both are coached by an unproven staff, everyone else are varying levels of mediocre. hawayek/baker will go to worlds 2018 if they’re lucky and prob never again if no one else retires.

i wouldn't take h/d's music choices as an indicator of what vm will have. they are the c team and vm are the a team in that camp. look at last season... h/d got stuck with marie-france's lame ass idea of the evolution of music and vm got prince.

true..... altho i think personal taste is important too. tessa would die b4 she ever approved an ‘evolution of dance’ sd

I want Tessa to steal Fedor back from Meryl. All that drama would be hilarious. Fedor lost his looks and is butt ugly now so he is exactly Tessa's type, even more so than in 2009.

i nvr thought he was that cute but he literally looks like he goes door to door selling pool cleaner now

I noticed that when Tessa shakes hands or kisses someone on the cheek (like during medal ceremony or interviews) Scott often puts a hand on her lower back even though there had not been any physical contact between the two of them before said handshake or kiss. It just always surprises me and I'm not sure I understand why he'd do this. What's your take on it ?

lmao ik u want me 2 say its bc his subconscious is screaming out in jealousy and he wants to covertly claim her and show the world she still belongs to him but i rly think they r just touchy ppl who like to touch. or hes makin sure she doesnt lose balance and fall off the podium as she’s leanin over

moulin rouge would've been a much cooler choice in 11/12 for their musical fd instead of funny face, but i don't see them doing it for their olympic fd. it's a bit tacky and overdone. i figure they'd want to do something that's a little bit more special and unique then that.

ia it wouldnt have been a bad filler fd for an off year. i just dont see it doing it for their Last Ever and for the olympics. its such a warhorse - what could they possibly say with it thats original? and its such a character piece - they r such overly emo, earnest ppl, i dont think they’d want to do something that different from themselves for their Last Ever.

huh what, vm don't stand a chance against moonlight sonata?? Pls... that would be a flop, such an overused piece of music everywhere, it's like Für Elise - hearing the first notes of it makes me vomit in my mouth a little

ya bc no one’s ever won a gold medal skating to a warhorse before

it sounds more believable to me than vm and moulin rouge tho

What interpretation? PC will just float around. They can do that in any key and judges will eat it up.

true, gui gui is a demon

No way. The judges will think they're watching Gordeeva/Grinkov again and just hand the gold to them immediately.

remember when pc said they didnt even know who torvill and dean and g/g were lmao

If scott doesn't cut his disgusting gutter frat boy hair I'm renouncing my Canadian citizenship and moving 2 Peru

was legit lookin @ pics from autumn classic n skate canada and i cant believe how short his hair was then, i can not believe i was complainin so much. i am honestly such a whiny bitch lmao this is my punishment

i have mixed feelings because Prince is the best short dance of VM's career so far but then Latch was one of the worst lol. It dragged in a lot of areas, especially the middle, and it never felt complete. I don't hate it by any means but considering we only had 2 free dances left and that was one of them... :| so I'm torn between trusting MF, and then thinking she's one misguided song choice away from ruining VM's swan song.

the thought of mf picking out the music for vm’s last ever fd makes me kind of sad. like yall have no ideas? at all?? ur relying on instagram suggestions and mf’s adult lite fm spotify playlists for inspiration? im surprised n disappointed tbh, like they arent kids anymore, i thought they would take more ownership of their careers.

but idk we’ll see. whenever i complain a lot, i usually like their material later lol

why do i feel like vm are gonna come out in their sd with despacito... the justin bieber version...

ok who is this person who keeps sending me despacito questions?? you sound like you want it to happen more than anyone else and are trying to will it into existence

It's funny because Tessa is SO cautious about everything she/they say, that she comes off/is rehearsed--I don't understand why she cares so much. They are not politicians or even super famous. Plus most people who watch (excluding Tumblr fans bc they're all extra) watch during high times like Worlds and Olympics. Most people don't watch interviews and press conferences. If they do watch one, it's usually only the fun "game" interviews or the mainstream ones like etalk which they are not tons of

idk what this is in reference to but ok lol. it prob matters to her bc its her life and she cares bc its happening to her? just spitballin here

Oh no what has Max Trankov said I'm scared to know now. If he's a Trump fan I might have to #nopeout lol he’s russian and a male chauvinist pig. he once said he wouldnt do a quad with tati until she had a baby for him...”and then maybe we try”

still gonna stan his trash ass to the end of time tho

Speaking of bad music cuts I could not stand the way HD's music was cut this year. Like I like all the songs they used individually but it just felt so weirdly put together like the songs didn't flow well into the next. The only part I liked was the last part with earned it.

really? i thought earned it was the part that seemed completely out of step with the first 2 pieces of music. the transition was way off and the tempo was so much faster than the other 2

The Facebook q&a is the first time I felt vm are actually compatible enough to be a couple.

should’ve published this steaming hot take when u sent it a month ago bc i have no idea what this is in reference to now

what do you look like?

tired mostly

haha funny how we went from vm are in a relationship to they hate each other.

dont ‘we’ me bitch i have nothing to do with this fandom’s daily emotional yo-yo-ing

Can you explain the Tessa/Kaitlyn Weaver friendship? Are they really friends? Kaitlyn seems like the kind of girl Tessa would make fun of behind her back.

more like kaitlyn weaver is tracy flick and is trying to bring down everyone in her path tbh

I get a bit of a superiority, cold vibe with Tessa, don't you?

no but i dont have self esteem issues

I think people who find Tessa cold and snobby do not get her at all. Yes, she is far from perfect and her feminism is all (...) but to call her cold and unfeeling means you haven't been paying attention at all. Like get off her dick and/or stop following her career.

i dont think shes cold either. standoffish maybe, but i dont feel like thats from superiority or aloofness. some ppl just want to mind their own business and chill?? not everyone’s a chatty cathy like scott

Music stresses me out. The only thing I've gathered from all of the various discussions is they should be exciting but not too exciting because it's an Olympic season. But they shouldn't also be too safe. Like I know you have mentioned various choices that would be good but what would be in your mind the ideal program, both SD and FD. It's their third Olympics, so how do they build on the past while still being fresh but also them. Or do they just not and give the audience what they want?

something original thats not a warhorse but is also audience friendly and is instantly musically palatable to a lot of ppl

so basically mahler

Which songs from moulin rouge should they use?

if they were doing mr (which i doubt), the orchestral score is 500x better than the cheesy ass nonsense from the soundtrack. like come what may with nicole kidman’s tremulous bird vocals and ewan mcgregor literally straining not to pop a vein would almost be too dramatic and Too Much. i think that kind of thing only works for a v specific kitschy, performative kind of team (a la russians) and wouldnt vibe with vm’s super earnest approach at all. but the orchestral score is genuinely moving and effective in a less garish way

but i dont think they’re doing moulin rouge lol

"the movies honestly made it hard 4 me to interpret hermione’s undying loyalty and devotion to harry as anything other than latent sexual attraction tbh lmao" Hahaha, pretty much. Plus, the whole Harry and Ginny thing, even more so in the movies, seemed to come out of nowhere and was cliche as fuck.

is bonnie wright still acting? i’ve seen dead fish more alive than her on screen

LMAO someone posted a clip from VM's show when they were having dinner with WP and they were talking about how WP live together and they ask VM how they deal with one another and LOL I stg I started loling cause their reactions were #priceless. S literally just had a WTF look on his face while he said something hella awkward & T looked like she wanted to slap him. Her follow up that she doesn't think they could ever spend all their time together just cements why they'll never date for me.

lmao that whole scene is so stupid. kaitlyn n andrew r such good friends i swear

Thanks for setting that anon straight. Set some boundaries so that they don't egg on shippers?? WTF. They're fine with doing what they're doing, and if they're dating others, those others are obviously fine with it too. Besides, it's not like they're filming porn or something. If you can't handle it, stop watching them.

idek what these r in reference to anymore but it sounds dumb as hell lmao

Wow I cannot believe that people actually think VM owe fans any explanation for their relationship/partnership. Like we don't know them, we're never going to know them or be friends with them? Why the fuck do they owe fans a detailed explanation of their personal business? I stg these shippers have lost their damn minds. As long as VM continue to put out good programs and do well I couldn't care less what they're doing off ice. Whatever it is it's clearly working for them. You do you VM.

the entitlement of some fans is insane. its STILL happening now with tessa’s ig now too. why dont yall just let her live n let her white-girl post to her hearts content. she is literally doing nothing differently to what every other skater does, idg this absurd criticism

Fr tho both of them have such nice teeth and I've never seen pics of them with braces, like how??!?!

tessa’s r so nice i cant believe she’s never had braces. and they r such a natural white? like u can tell w most skaters that they get it professionally whitened but hers dont have that artificial look at all

Are you in college? Your bio says 23 but it said that last year too.

i actually turned 24 a while ago im just 2 lazy to change it. im in law school currently

I just read an ancient interview with vm where they said Mahler was about getting married or something... WHAT

ya i cant remember if it was them that said or marina that said it tho. i remember a story about a guy who wrote them saying he and his gf were watching mahler at the olympics and once it was over, he was so moved he got down on one knee and proposed to her and marina was like ‘thats what that program is meant to do’ lol

Do you think Zach is a good skater and partner? I keep changing my mind on him.....

he is such a bland, wet noodle - no taste, no flavor, just empty white carbs. its up to madi to add any spark to the team bc she’s the real star, he just stands there and is tall and can lift her

Why the fuck are so many people freaking out because Tessa did not attend a wedding with Scott. 1. They are not dating so there are no reason for Scott to bring her. 2. She has people visiting 3. I bet they don't even hang out off ice 4. I think Scott has a secret girl in Ilderton. 5. TS not dating. I wish people would claim down.

this is so far back in my inbox i have no idea whats happening

I love it that whenever Tessa posts an IG story the fandom goes crazy analyzing and speculating about Scott what there even when he is clearly not Then there there are talks about TS wedding. WTF Soon it will be TS having babies. I am wondering if maybe the fandom (new fans) are mixing reality with those fanfics.

honestly no clue

I know this has been discussed before but I don't get how Scott and Jess even communicated. Jess could barely seem to understand English back then and Scott couldn't speak French. I wonder if them not being able to speak to each other is part of why they lasted so long actually

lol bryce davison actually learned french so he could communicate w/ her. not scott tho lol

I don't think T cares too much about fs friendships the way other skaters do. Of course she's friendly with a lot of them but she's not really close with anyone except her partner, which doesn't really count lol. She has her own friend group outside of skating and that's what she seems to stick to. It's funny you mention Meryl, Brooke, Tanith, and Lauren because they're all still really good friends.

honestly i think skating stressed (stresses?) her out so much back then that she really hated being in that world for too long. i dont blame her for wanting to disconnect and not having to hang out with skaters who just talk about other skaters and skating 24/7

I don't mean this in a mean way. Watching Avatar. If you paint Meryl's face blue she could be in the movie

it kills me when ppl say she looks like a disney princess? ya the ant queen from a bugs life maybe

I think Tessa sometimes forget that Scott is a huge part of why they are successful and she wouldn't have all of these deals w amazing brands if they weren't so strong+didn't win everything. it's easy to put her on the pedestal bc she's gorg and can dance, but he should get/deserves just as much credit-- i mean he is the one lifting her and she could not do any of this by herself. sometimes i get the vibe that she thinks she's too good for him. maybe he's not as fancy, but he has a heart of gold

i’ve literally never gotten that she thinks she’s too good for him...? they go out of their way to pay each other compliments all the time and dont even jokingly diss on each other. its actually kind of weird that after knowing each other so long their relationship isnt just one long roast section where they talk shit about each other bc thats what my relationship w/ all my lifelong friends r like....but then again im a flinty bitch and they’re super earnest and emo like all the time. like i bet they both cry during sex

i find it kinda gross, disturbing and a bit pathetic that so many people feel the need to write erotic fan fiction about Tessa and Scott--like they are real people not characters, and it's kinda creepy that people spend so much time writing and reading them. Also, i would pay a million dollars to have someone show TS what people write about them--they would literally die and so would i--some fans are kinda extreme crazy

u know how on graham norton when he’s always showing celebs really erotic fanfic and fanart of themselves and they’re just dying of embarrassment?? i would literally pay everything in my bank account (so like....twenty dollars) for someone to do that to vm

omg it's gonna be so awk when tessa and scott have to see klawes...poor klawes, she just could not hold a candle to tessa. still don't know why klawes still follows tessa's insta--like i would unfollow and would not wanna see some of the pics t posts of TS giving each other lovey looks/touchy regardless of whether ts are together or not. also, it's never like t and klawes would actually be friends bc they're polar opposites

v disappointed that the olympic summit did not deliver on this #drama

tessa and kl were real friends tho, i think its sweet. and its nice they still keep in touch even tho scott is a dog

Are you a fan of tessa's style? She wears so much expensive yet ugly shit in my opinion.

lmao no. i think some of her casual wear is cute, but she wears some of the most hideous high fashion shit ever when she’s going out. like that blue carpet jumpsuit? yall know wht im talking about. those hideous trousers??? also she wears an unbelievable amount of boring black dresses

also gf needs to do smth with her hair. tired of her high bun and slick pony. she looks way cuter w/ her hair down imo

Do you think Tessa pays for all the Adidas stuff she wears?

no she def gets it for free. i was a walk-on my freshman yr of college for half a second and even i got a bunch of free shit from nike

How do u as an ed sheeran unstanner feel about ts doing these songs their obviously using him for the sd next season and i wouldnt be suprised if they use him for the fd as well

reading this made my cholesterol go up

really hope they're exhausting all the ed sheeran options now so they won't actually use it for comps lol

ngl i do kind of dig that embarrassing white boy rapping galway girl song but that cld prob just be my girl saorise ronan hypnotizing me like she always does

Minus the horrific man bun, do you think Scott's hot? Also, do you think Tessa finds him attractive?

no and probably yes now that hes so fug

Do you think Scott's attractive?? Also, do you think Tessa being told she's beautiful constantly on sm has made her get a big head--she often comes across as a bit cold and stuck up prancing around in her $1000 + outfits? Love her and she's gorgeous but...

some of yall need to stop projecting your shit onto tessa for real

Power plays of the figure skating journalists. Inside Skating does a very literal interview and article with P/C which blows up and then they go to Jackie Wong so he can basically write up a damage control press release. Kind of fascinating to see both journalists doing their thing with the same content. Hard to believe Inside Skating didn't think their article would create a storm. Interesting.

speaking of jackie, skaters r really going to him for their exclusives now huh? dying that ashley gave him her big la la land fluff piece instead of tsl. pays 2 be nice and kiss ass

Doesn't look like KH/JLB will have much of a chance to advance cuzis so crowded with the current seniors not retiring and juniors moving up. KH/JLB needs to work on their twizzles, thier lines, skating skills, chemistry looks promising. Some of those junior and senior teams should consider representingif they want a chance at aCanada doesn't have any promising teams once VM-WP retire. I feel like CB, SS, HD ain't retiring till they win Wch or OG which may never with PC around.

hawayek/baker could prob skate for gb because jean-luc has citizenship and carreira/ponomarenko could prob skate for canada bc she’s from montreal but i doubt the us fed is letting either of them go. they’ve invested way too much at this point. i don’t think c/p need to move tho, i think they’re talented to rise organically through the ranks. i think they’re more likely to be us #1 instead of not tbh

I don't understand the whole David and Tessa affair; like some people say it happened after he was separated and others talk like it was a full blown affair. The only thing I do know is that her being called a "homewrecker" or anything else of that nature makes me want to punch something because it's disgusting, and it's society go-to response. Be cruel to the woman and basically give the man a free pass. But maybe he received shit, too? I just never heard about it.

i think he was basically separated but not divorced when it happened

Do you think if TS and Cappelini and Lanotte switched partners they would be a good team?

lol no. anna’s not a great skater and luca looks like he’s shorter than tessa

Wait is that Tessa's ex Semple in that photo you posted of her pre and post nose job? Cause if so damn does she lowball herself. Like she could have such better looking guys I do not understand. Girl is very pretty she needs someone to help her pick better guys.

~we accept the love we think we deserve~~

I think T is cringeworthy as a speaker bc she's sooo gd rehearsed. Not a things she says comes across like she didn't practice it in the bathroom mirror 75 times that morning. She would be pretty good if she could lose even half the pretension in her delivery and tossed out the eye rolly words she keeps littering the sentences with like privilege and journey.

they honestly both suck. she’s worse than he is, but they’re both super stiff. and they always do this forced banter bit at the start which just seems so awkward lol

That one anon pointing that some have denied the nose surgery - this is exactly what annoys me about those shipper blogs, not that they are shippers (you can want them two to be together- that by itself doesn't bother me), but their ways and how they always have to insist on vm's perfect image - they all get so upset and aggressive when you point some issue out, like why would you deny Tessa has done a nose job... so out of touch! vm are interesting exactly cause they're real people with flaws

i can not believe ppl r denying her nose job. like yo its right there. it does lend credence to my theory that all shipprs r just hallucinating n seeing things that arent there tho

If Tessa and Scott did hook up while officially with SOs I have a feeling they wouldn't consider it cheating.

ok lmao??? im sure something extremely profound i said provoked this

how rich do u think scott and tessa are???

prob millionaires by the time 2018 comes around if they get their sponsorships

i might do part 2 later if i can be bothered... but nothing really makes sense out of context lol, its like watching charlie kaufman do slam poetry

#Anonymous #vm #fs

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squaredancing-weston · 7 years

Text

para || Romancing the Cards

Time: Saturday night, 18 February 2017

Setting: Online

Summary: On the heels of Valentine’s Day, the staff decides to play up their less-than-romantic side with a new game of Cards Against Humanity…

Part 2 (End)

[6:42:52 PM] <Kurt> next game... fewer rounds [6:42:59 PM] <Marley> Yeah agreed [6:43:03 PM] <Brody> I'm thinking ten? [6:43:13 PM] <Blaine2> That sounds better, yeah [6:43:17 PM] <Brody> with blanks [6:43:19 PM] <Kurt> and some blank cards [6:43:26 PM] <Marley> yeahhh and like expansion packs? [6:43:30 PM] <Kurt> Sure [6:43:42 PM] <Brody> we already have them [6:43:49 PM] <Marley> I didn't see them I guess lmao. [6:43:57 PM] <Marley> I was gone half the day XD [6:44:35 PM] <Blaine2> I gotta use the little boy's room. Brb [6:44:49 PM] <Brody> ...and my sane friend left [6:44:50 PM] <Brody> and my son [6:45:05 PM] <Brody> well, at least I still have pizza [6:45:18 PM] <Marley> Ohh. I have Chinese [6:45:21 PM] <Sebastian> Lily grow tired of your company? [6:45:26 PM] <Kurt> Blank card surfaces round one [6:45:29 PM] <Kurt> nice [6:45:37 PM] <Brody> I only told one story! [6:45:37 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:45:50 PM] <Marley> I've heard others ;) [6:45:50 PM] <Sebastian> I've heard plenty. [6:47:21 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:48:22 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:49:07 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:50:54 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:51:38 PM] <Blaine2> Well, this got quiet [6:51:53 PM] Sebastian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:52:09 PM] <Sebastian> A little. [6:52:12 PM] <Kurt> Sorry I'm multitasking [6:52:17 PM] <Kurt> (i.e. i've got hw due in a few hours) [6:52:19 PM] <Marley> Sorry! [6:52:27 PM] <Blaine2> For real, Bas, how are you feeling? [6:53:05 PM] <Blaine2> I just realized that sound accusatory, I'm just legitimately asking [6:53:26 PM] <Sebastian> I'm fine, Killer. Stop fussing. Or bring your ass over here and I can prove it. [6:53:27 PM] Brittany wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:53:30 PM] <Brody> he's on his feet, at least [6:53:36 PM] <Brody> and snarky [6:53:53 PM] <Blaine2> I'm not fussing, I'm just asking, S :P [6:54:49 PM] <Brody> don't let him guilt you SB-- he just wants your ass [6:55:30 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:55:48 PM] <Sebastian> Damn right I do. [6:55:53 PM] <Sebastian> Bring it to me. [6:55:59 PM] <Blaine2> Okay [6:56:15 PM] <Brody> sorry say huh? [6:56:24 PM] <Brody> be strong, Son! [6:56:48 PM] <Brody> hold out against the Corruptive Mentor and his evil ways [6:56:51 PM] <Sebastian> He's doing the smart thing. [6:57:19 PM] <Sebastian> Come on - you wanted him to get a favourite sex position. [6:57:33 PM] Brittany has left the game. [6:57:33 PM] <Blaine2> ^ [6:57:36 PM] <Brody> he doesn't want //your// favorite sex position [6:57:38 PM] <Sebastian> I'm just being a good samaritan [6:57:48 PM] <Sebastian> Hey, I'm willing to switch it up. [6:57:48 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:57:55 PM] <Marley> Aww Brittany left. [6:57:58 PM] <Sebastian> He can decide for himself. [6:58:04 PM] <Marley> She left me alone with all of you :P [6:58:13 PM] <Sebastian> Lucky you [6:58:31 PM] <Brody> he's obviously lost his mental facilities and can not be allowed to make his own decisions [6:58:37 PM] <Brody> you'd be taking advantage, Bas [6:58:53 PM] <Blaine2> I'm completely sane, thank you [6:58:55 PM] Sebastian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [6:59:11 PM] <Brody> well, okay-- glove up [6:59:17 PM] <Brody> obviously [6:59:42 PM] <Blaine2> Obviously. Don't wanna catch that mono STD [7:00:05 PM] <Brody> good point [7:00:14 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:00:19 PM] <Sebastian> You guys need to stop listening to Spencer. [7:00:31 PM] <Kurt> Where is he anyways? I thought he was joining [7:00:32 PM] <Brody> (low blow Blaine) [7:00:53 PM] <Blaine2> (he's talking about himself shhh) [7:00:55 PM] <Marley> Damn I should have saved mine for another round, but I couldn't help it >.> [7:01:43 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:01:51 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:01:53 PM] <Marley> See should have saved it :P [7:02:50 PM] <Sebastian> What? [7:03:36 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:04:39 PM] <Sebastian> Shit. [7:04:42 PM] <Blaine2> Shiiit [7:04:48 PM] <Blaine2> I thought I had that shit in the bag [7:04:54 PM] <Kurt> Ahahaha [7:05:01 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:05:04 PM] <Brody> YES! [7:05:05 PM] <Blaine2> DAMN [7:05:09 PM] <Marley> That was a blank card, wasn't it? :P [7:05:13 PM] <Sebastian> That was close. [7:05:18 PM] <Sebastian> Not gonna lie. [7:05:25 PM] <Brody> not surprised [7:05:37 PM] <Brody> I bet it wouldn't have been if I'd added David too [7:05:52 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:05:58 PM] <Marley> Way to play dirty ;) [7:05:59 PM] <Sebastian> That'd do it. [7:06:01 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:06:36 PM] <Sebastian> ((fuckfuck if this was OOC i'd have the perfect one for this)) [7:08:16 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:10:10 PM] Finn wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:10:26 PM] <Kurt> (HAHAHAHA NOW KURT'S IN LAST) [7:10:42 PM] <Kurt> (i was secretly hoping for this the moment seb went up 2) [7:11:03 PM] <Sebastian> (Sebastian is POINTEDLY not saying anything XD) [7:11:28 PM] <Blaine2> (Cause that's a good way to make Blaine /not/ come over lmao) [7:11:46 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:11:54 PM] <Sebastian> ((Also in a way, he's like, now I look like a better person)) [7:12:54 PM] <Finn> [I am going to have to go now. Its gone 3am here] [7:13:11 PM] <Blaine2> [Damn! Okay, goodnight! [7:13:14 PM] <Sebastian> (Are you in the UK too??) [7:13:16 PM] <Marley> (Night) [7:13:19 PM] Finn wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:13:23 PM] <Brody> (night) [7:13:25 PM] <Sebastian> (I mean it's the same for me, but my sleeping pattern suckssss) [7:13:28 PM] <Kurt> (onen last win before youre out! night!) [7:13:31 PM] <Finn> [I am. ] [7:13:41 PM] <Finn> [Night night] [7:13:47 PM] <Sebastian> (Morning :P) [7:13:49 PM] Finn has left the game. [7:15:01 PM] <Blaine2> Sorry, I'm hella distracted rn [7:15:47 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:15:55 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:17:43 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:18:37 PM] <Blaine2> Oh my god [7:18:46 PM] Sebastian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:18:52 PM] <Brody> yeah, sorry SB [7:18:53 PM] <Brody> no choice [7:18:58 PM] <Kurt> . . . [7:18:58 PM] <Sebastian> The clear winner. [7:19:00 PM] <Brody> I even knew it was a trap [7:19:02 PM] <Blaine2> Are you the chief, Bas? [7:19:21 PM] <Blaine2> Does the position come with a badge? [7:19:28 PM] <Sebastian> You know it ;) [7:19:31 PM] <Brody> he does need a badge [7:19:42 PM] <Brody> we were supposed to have a ceremony, Blaine [7:20:01 PM] <Blaine2> Apparently we have to now [7:20:05 PM] San has joined the game. [7:20:14 PM] <Blaine2> Should my ass require blood sacrifices? [7:20:15 PM] <Brody> you have your Worship by Primitives Badge [7:20:22 PM] <Kurt> Glitched on me... it's frozen on the one I picked last time and won't let me pick a new one. :/ [7:20:35 PM] <Marley> Hey, Santana! [7:20:37 PM] <Brody> it'll let you go next round [7:20:54 PM] Kurt was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [7:21:03 PM] Sebastian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:21:11 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:21:24 PM] <Sebastian> Going for fashionably late, San? [7:22:14 PM] <San> Don't I always? [7:23:05 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:23:28 PM] <Kurt> I feel like I've consistently chosen Marley as of late... Ryan Gosling was pretty much an instant-win NGL [7:24:15 PM] <Blaine2> Yeah, I've been reexamining our friendship and wondering where I went wrong [7:24:26 PM] <Marley> I target them just for you ;) [7:24:31 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:24:32 PM] <Marley> Not really though, but you have, and I thank you :D [7:25:08 PM] <Kurt> oh no! i keep breaking the game trying to select a card it says I dont have [7:25:13 PM] <Sebastian> ((that was my weakness for My Immortal shining through ngl)) [7:25:16 PM] <Kurt> dang it! [7:25:26 PM] <Kurt> it doesn't let me pick a card then to play :< [7:25:47 PM] <Kurt> hmmm refresh has fixed it [7:25:54 PM] <Kurt> nevermind all is good :) [7:26:06 PM] Kurt wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:27:29 PM] Marley wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:27:42 PM] <San> That was a hot card, Marls. [7:27:53 PM] <Marley> Thanks, San. I thought you'd like it ;) [7:28:34 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:28:45 PM] <Blaine2> Aww thanks, Brodes [7:28:53 PM] <Brody> Son, did you have that left over from you Chiefton days? [7:29:08 PM] <Blaine2> I did, yeah. Saving it for something special [7:29:20 PM] San wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:29:24 PM] <Brody> glad that worked out for you [7:29:28 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:29:29 PM] <Brody> And San--so right on [7:29:33 PM] <Brody> I heartily approve [7:29:46 PM] <Sebastian> Shame Spence isn't here. He could've learned from that round. [7:30:06 PM] <San> Isn't it the worst? [7:30:12 PM] <Brody> Really is [7:31:04 PM] <Brody> I mean, you gotta be willing to put your money where your mouth is [7:31:21 PM] <Brody> or some more literal variant of that idea [7:31:53 PM] <San> I haven't had to worry about it lately. [7:31:56 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:31:57 PM] <Sebastian> Finally we agree on something. [7:32:04 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:33:29 PM] <Brody> (Brody is staying quiet) [7:33:59 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:35:33 PM] Blaine2 wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:35:41 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:35:46 PM] <Blaine2> Brody, were you the Florida one? [7:36:36 PM] <Brody> there was a florida one? [7:36:57 PM] <Blaine2> I [7:36:59 PM] <Blaine2> I [7:37:04 PM] <Blaine2> I'll take that as a no [7:37:12 PM] <Brody> sorry-- it's getting late [7:37:20 PM] <Brody> I'm still recovering from yesterday [7:37:21 PM] <Marley> Bed time? [7:37:47 PM] <Blaine2> It's fine, it is getting a little late. Especially if you're an old timer, I suppose [7:37:54 PM] <Brody> exactly [7:38:59 PM] Brody wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:39:14 PM] <Marley> Look at that! Even sleepy you win! [7:39:20 PM] <Blaine2> Congrats, Dad. For winning again. [7:39:29 PM] <Brody> thank you, thank you [7:39:48 PM] <Brody> I would like to thank all of the Little People, who stayed off my Lawn so I could be here [7:39:53 PM] <Kurt> Congrats again, Brody [7:39:57 PM] <Kurt> I'm off to bed now I think.. Long day tomorrow. [7:40:03 PM] <Brody> ditto [7:40:11 PM] <Marley> Night guys! [7:40:15 PM] <Brody> Apparently we're introducing a dog and a horse [7:40:18 PM] <Blaine2> I'm getting off, too, yeah [7:40:19 PM] <Brody> it sounds like a movie [7:40:21 PM] <Kurt> Have fun [7:40:35 PM] <Sebastian> It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. [7:40:36 PM] <Blaine2> Bas, can I actually come over or are you tired? [7:40:36 PM] <Sebastian> But good luck with that. [7:40:51 PM] <Kurt> 'night [7:40:51 PM] <Blaine2> I should probably specify that it's just to hang out [7:40:51 PM] <Blaine2> .. [7:41:28 PM] Error: Error communicating with server. Will try again in 0.5 seconds. [7:41:29 PM] <Blaine2> because I'm bored. [7:41:29 PM] <Marley> You can come hang with me :D [7:41:29 PM] <Sebastian> Of course, B. Because you're bored ;) [7:41:48 PM] <San> Gnight, party people. [7:41:53 PM] <Blaine2> Oh shut up :P [7:41:56 PM] <Blaine2> I'll be over soon [7:42:10 PM] <Marley> Awesome Sauce! See you soon! [7:42:13 PM] Kurt has left the game. [7:42:13 PM] <Sebastian> I'll be waiting. Night everyone but Kurt. [7:42:27 PM] <Blaine2> I'm glad he left before he saw that, Bas [7:42:28 PM] <Marley> If that was to me [7:42:31 PM] <Marley> lol [7:42:31 PM] <Marley> I'm tired [7:42:41 PM] <Sebastian> He was talking to me, Marls. [7:42:45 PM] <Marley> Damn :P [7:42:47 PM] <Marley> Yall suck [7:42:47 PM] <Sebastian> Night. [7:42:51 PM] Sebastian has left the game. [7:42:52 PM] <Marley> Night [7:43:13 PM] <Blaine2> Lol, I love you, Marls <3 get some sleep [7:44:08 PM] San has left the game. [7:44:28 PM] Marley has left the game.

#ttl #Cards Against Humanity #para #Romancing the Cards #Brody Weston #Blaine Anderson #Kurt Hummel #Sebastian Smythe #Brittany Pierce #Marley Rose #Finn Hudson #Santana Lopez #p. Blaine #p. Kurt #p. Sebastian #p. Brittany #p. Marley #p. Finn #p. Santana

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