#I’m so hungry all the time and now I’m gaining weight because I’m only eating carbs and my mom implies that I’m fat when she won’t even do
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I'm going to outlive my son. It's the saddest realization for any parent, but it's one I can't deny anymore. See, my son is fat. No really, faaaaaat. Take whatever you're thinking in your head and double it, heck triple it even and you're probably still thinking too small.
His mother and I tried for years to get him active, to get him interested in the outdoors, sports, heck any physical activity, but the only physical activity he cared about were ones that ended in food.
We tried at first to guide him into making better decisions. Surely as he matured he'd realize that all the food and all the weight wasn't worth it, but the gentle treatment didn't work. We never wanted to be strict parents, but we decided that drastic measures had to be taken when he reached his teens with his weight still climbing. We rid the house of anything unhealthy and kept an eye on his eating like a hawk and he finally started dropping weight to our slight comfort.
Looking back now I see how short-sighted we were. It's one thing to control your kid, but he won't be a kid forever. At some point he's going to need independence, a job, a car, all the facets of a normal adult life and hopefully someone to share it with. Out on his own he could eat as much as he wanted, when he wanted, especially once we found out his first job was not what he originally told us, but a job at one of the local fast food joints.
Slowly at first, but surely his weight started creeping up again. He'd bounce around between jobs depending on what cuisine he was especially feeling and how long they'd keep him on before realizing how much he was literally eating into their profits. We'd failed. Just like his youth anything he did was motivated by food. We were all out of ideas. Time passed by in this stalemate, the only needle moving faster being the one on our bathroom scale.
We had thought about kicking him out, but at this point I don't think he could even live on his own. He had every weight-related medical condition in the book, every one a missed wake up call to turn back. Things that people in their 50s would start worrying about, not someone less than half their age.
Getting on disability took away the last reason for him to ever get off his copious ass, so it's no surprise that his mobility vaporized shortly thereafter. Some days I wonder if he'll see 30. It'll surely be a miracle of medical science if he does.
I couldn't tell if it was a blessing or a curse the day I found his online persona, through the further I looked, the more I gravitated towards the latter. It finally made everything make quasi-sense, a reason for the way he lived his life, if you can even call it that, but it did so in such a disgusting, heartbreaking way. He catalogues his gains to a sadistic audience hungry to watch him blow up. He talks about how much he loves his weight, shockingly especially its side-effects, reveling in being out of breath simply from rolling over in bed. The post where he declared himself immobile is proudly pinned to the top of his page, racking up comments of support and congratulations from the people feeding into his addiction, both figuratively and literally with constant food deliveries I had long-assumed he had ordered for himself. It's all so fucking disgusting, and it's something I will never tell my wife, something I will take to my grave long after his.
As far as I'm concerned, he's already gone. He was lost 100s of pounds ago. There's no son in that void of a room, just a mound of flesh, endlessly growing until the day it doesn't. Goodbye, son. I hope you really love all your flab like you say you do, because it's all you got, and there's a ton of it.
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3:00 am
Beelzebub- fluff
MC: Beel…
Beel: Yes Mc?
MC: Are you hungry?
Beel: Always.
MC: Meet me in the kitchen.
~
You wasted no time to jump out of bed and grab the wrapped box on your nightstand heading down towards the kitchen careful to not wake anyone up. After taking slow quiet steps down the hall you finally made it and could already see the fridge light on and Beel was eating away. You wondered how he made it there before you but it’s Beel, and he was hungry so there’s no question.
“Beel.” you spoke softly behind him, he flinched and turned around smiling as he went back to eating some more food. You set the box down and hopped onto the counter putting one leg over the other, you sat there admiring how beautiful the back of your boyfriends back was. And as an added bonus he only sleeps with sweats on so you get to admire his bare body for yourself whenever you two slept together.
You always wondered how he ate that much but never really gained weight. Yeah he works out a lot and plays sports but that still doesn’t account for the large amounts of food he eats every couple of hours. You sat there staring out the window lost in thought thinking back on when you first got here to now. Especially about how everything’s changed, you creating pacts with all the boys. Belphie almost killing you, you dating Beel. Finding out your a descendant to a very special person in their life.
Do all of them see you as a Lilith replacement? Does Beel see you that way? No, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t be dating you if he did, you wouldn’t be able to call him your boyfriend if he did.
He noticed you weren’t saying anything and closed the fridge setting down whatever he had in his arms onto the counter next to you. He pulled your legs apart and stood in between them quickly grabbing a thing of pudding and starting eating it. “Beel, have I told you how much I like you?” He nodded at your question and picked up the next thing to eat.
“I like you too MC.” He responded again stuffing his mouth, you used your thumb to clean off the corner of his mouth teasingly sticking your thumb in your mouth to taste whatever he ate. He paused and his face started heating up, he set down the container and pressed his lips onto yours. His arm wrapped around your waist stabilizing himself while his other hand ran through your hair gently massaging the back of your neck.
You wrapped your arms around his neck arching your body against his tasting the pudding he was eating each time his tongue went into your mouth exploring what he could. “I have a gift for you.” You said pulling away from him, he looked upset from the loss of contact but resumed his feasting while waiting for you to get situated.
You grabbed the box and pushed it against his chest watching him grab it with curiosity. You begged Solomon to do something for you as a favor because you wanted to give Beel a gift. Beel always said he loved your natural scent, that’s one of his favorite things about you. So you grabbed his favorite flower and had Solomon create a spray that was infused with your scent. The flower itself was embedded with it, creating tag a scented flower.
You can get the weirdest things here in Devildom.
“Smell it.” He did what you said and his eyes visibly lit up. “It smells like you. Is this for me?” He asked leaning against your chest, his head laid in the crook of your neck sniffing between the flower and you. “I’m going back to the human world soon and I didn’t want to leave you without anything B-Beel.”
He stiffened at your stuttering, sitting up his shoulders along with his face dropped seeing you cover your face. You were crying clearly and it was hard for you to open up about how you were feeling. Without saying anything he pulled you in for a hug and held you there until you calmed down. “Leaving you has had to be probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do here.” He kissed your forehead and rubbed your back as you sniffled and talked into his neck.
“You haven’t left yet.” He said kissing your forehead again, you sighed agreeing with him but sooner or later you were bound to leave and it was going to be hard. You found someone who you truly fell in love with and he see you for you. “We have a pact, our souls are connected. Anytime you need me I’m there. Always. Even if it’s for something stupid like helping you pick out what clothes to wear. Whenever you miss me just call for me, I’ll come. I promise.” His words made you start crying again but this time tears of happiness.
He wiped away your tears while peppering kisses on your lips and cheeks. You smiled giving him small kisses back, he suddenly stopped and picked up the flower. He placed it behind your ear and gave it one big sniff then playfully sniffed your forehead all the way down to your feet. “I have to embed everything about you into my brain.” You laughed at his comment and cooed for him to come back up so that you could kiss him again.
This kiss was soft and reassuring, he wanted you to know that he was there and that you didn’t have to worry anymore. “Want me to sleep in your room tonight?” He asked in between each peck he pressed on your lips, “Yes please.” He smiled and picked you up walking the both of you back to your room as you hugged him thanking him for this precious memory you would never forget.
#beelzebub avatar of gluttony#obey me beel x mc#shall we date beelzebub#beelzebub smut#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub x mc#swd beelzebub#beelzebub fanart#beelzebub art#beelzebub x you#om! beelzebub#obey me#obey me beel x reader#obey me beel fluff#obey me beel headcanons#obey me beel fanart#obey me beel x you#obey me beel smut#obey me Beelzebub avatar of gluttony#obey me shall we date#obey me one master to rule them all#good omens beelzebub#beelzebub x reader#beelzebub x y/n#beelzebub x gender neutral reader
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What are your thoughts on Steve’s chronic migraines getting worse so Eddie and Robin convince him to go to the doctor. The medication he is given helps but perhaps it starts to cause weight gain #chubby Steve Harrington
To be honest, I don’t know if I know enough about migraines to go too deeply into that part of it. My brother gets them, and I briefly thought I was getting them in college but that turned out to be just my sinuses trying very hard to murder me on a seasonal basis. The campus health center had me keep a food journal for a while in case it was a dietary trigger, though, which I kind of want to foist on Steve. Like, what if…
(This got away from me, what else is new, please either enjoy or suffer for the next 3k words. The meds definitely kicked off Steve’s weight gain, partly because meds do that and partly because he doesn’t end up puking his guts out as often anymore, but the combo of the food journal and the stress reduction of he finds in eating definitely awakens something that keeps it going.)
Hawkins Memorial Hospital and all its patient records were obliterated over the course of defeating Vecna. So now that the Upside Down is gone and the older teens have moved out of Hawkins, Robin and Steve got into college somewhere (Steve by the skin of his teeth, if only because I’m not sure if community colleges have health services for their students), and Eddie lives with them too while he works at an auto shop and tries to scrape a new band together.
Between the migraines and the campus nurse “what if”ing him about shit, because he no longer has the medical history on his whopping total of four concussions in three years, Steve has very little patience for being instructed to write down everything he eats for a week or two on the off chance his headaches are triggered by something he’s eating. He’s sure that’s not it. Robin and Eddie bully him into actually doing it, basically resulting in a communal journal where they all take notes on Steve’s meals.
So Eddie is uniquely tuned in to Steve’s eating habits, even for a trauma-bonded roommate with a big gay crush. He doesn’t think much of it, but does have a lot of fun being all “You deserve a treat for finishing that homework on time, I’ll pencil you in for a donut and we’ll hit the corner market!” and whatever. Just a little bit of friendly teasing on the days Steve decides to be lazy and eats mostly junk.
By the time Steve finally gets medication and a routine that actually helps keep the migraines at bay more often than not, the food journal is long done but Eddie still notices that stuff and is vaguely aware that Steve has started snacking more often, taking a little extra at dinner, doubling up on his usual bowl of cereal for breakfast. He also notices the way all of his jeans start to hug his ass more, the faintest suggestion of a future muffin top starting to bunch over waistbands when his shirts are tucked in, how he starts moving a little slower when taking the stairs up to their apartment two at a time (or, eventually, one at a time like what Eddie considers a normal person).
He casually brings it up at one point, something offhand like, “Extra hungry today, Harrington? Or are you carb loading before a hot date, or whatever it is you jocks get up to before strenuous activity?” But Steve just laughs and helps himself to more pasta or whatever’s for dinner, his third serving, and says he’s pretty sure it’s the new meds are doing something to his appetite. So no, not just today.
And Eddie doesn’t push, because Steve seems fine with it. The extra weight looks good on him, in Eddie’s opinion—anything would look good on Steve, but especially the contentment that comes with indulging the whims of his appetite. He’s quickly developing a snacking-while-studying habit, and Eddie learns that when Steve gets frustrated and tries to blow off doing the work, he can be both placated and bribed to continue with donuts. His grades are steadily improving, and that’s not the only thing on the upswing; he eventually consults both Robin and Eddie on how to size up his closet on a budget, too.
The only thing Steve complains about is the dating dry spell he’s on, grumbling about shallow girls who don’t want to take the time to get to know him. Robin comments that he’s like a broken record, she heard all of this before when his parents cut him off and he didn’t have the money to plan lavish dates anymore… and Eddie feels like he’s been knocked over the head by the comparison. He can’t imagine not wanting to date Steve just because his money doesn’t grow on trees or he’s put on weight, what is wrong with those women?!
Because, call a spade a spade: if Steve were into guys, Eddie would ask him out in a heartbeat. Even if it could potentially torpedo their friendship. He puts so much energy every day into not flirting with Steve, and to be honest these days he’s mostly redirecting it towards bringing him treats. Steve has this unfortunate habit of licking his fingers (even when it doesn’t seem like he should need to!); Eddie is developing a staring problem. A worse staring problem. Whatever.
Sometimes the three of them smoke up on Friday and Saturday nights when they have nothing better to do. (Read: don’t have dates. Eddie is used to being a dateless loser, but he feels bad for Steve and Robin. Indignant on their behalf. Secretly pleased whenever Robin has plans and relieved when Steve doesn’t, and guilty about both.) They pick out a tub each of ice cream in advance and order too much pizza and watch movies they barely pay attention to while bickering and giggling like idiots, and if it’s a double lame day weekend none of them bat an eye when Steve starts getting two tubs for himself so he doesn’t run out part way through. Goads one or both of them to bet on whether he can finish it in one sitting before it completely melts, leaving Eddie to have to hide a boner whenever the challenge devolves into messily slurping of whatever’s left at the bottom.
It’s at the end of one of those nights where it’s just Steve and Eddie; they turn in for the night (or the pre-dawn hours at least), Steve taking a little longer to shuffle into his room because he offered to put the leftovers in the fridge. Eddie gets back up because his mouth is dry as hell, and opens the fridge for light while he hunts for a clean cup… only to realize the leftovers aren’t there. He checks the freezer, and his own mostly empty ice cream carton is missing too. Turns out, they’re in the trash, scraped clean. Steve must have finished everything. When he goes back to his room he can hear Steve moving restlessly through the thin shared wall, soft grunts and moans and muffled burps and—
Usually, Eddie tries to be a good roommate and put his headphones on when he realizes that Steve is having some alone time. But he’s sleepy and still stoned and doesn’t feel like getting up again, so he stays prone and closes his eyes, telling himself that he’s not listening, really he’s not, he’s just trying to sleep. The hand he’s palming himself through his pajama pants begs to differ, though. And if he thinks he hears choked moans of “more, give me more” and “please, I need it” and “yeah, give it to me, Eddie,” no he absolutely does not. He obviously just nodded off into a wet dream, because while Steve often joins him at Robin at the local gay establishments for nights on the town, he only ever hooks up with girls.
The next weekend it happens again. Eddie has no idea if Steve is eating up all the extras in the kitchen or taking some of it back to his room, but it’s obvious where it’s all going. And either way the end result always seems to be the same: Steve eats and jerks off afterwards, and Eddie listens in and does the same. He feels like a creep for doing it, but the shame doesn’t hit until after he’s done biting his pillow to keep quiet and pumping into his fist until his toes feel permanently curled.
But, he rationalizes, it’s not that weird that they each have their own guilty pleasures. Everybody’s got to have something at the end of the day, right? And at least pinning after Steve this way keeps him from doing anything stupid, like spending his weekend cruising for one night stands and STDs. It happens enough already on the rare occasions that Steve does have a date, he doesn’t need to up his risk factor for catching anything.
This goes on until Robin and Steve graduate. Like, actual years. Eddie would feel like a monk by now if he wasn’t secretly indulging himself while imagining Steve on a regular basis, which is… it’s fine. At least it goes a long way towards keeping lingering nightmares about demon bats and evil veiny wizards at bay.
They have two different ‘Congrats Grads’ parties in their cramped apartments, one with all their friends from school and around the city, and one for everyone who knows about the Upside Down. Eddie buys two huge sheet cakes for both, but is puzzled when there’s way too much left—and Steve doesn’t seem to have touched them.
After the last round of guests has gone, including Robin who had announced out of nowhere that she was going to crash with Nancy in the latter’s hotel room and wake up early to do touristy things in the city while Nancy is visiting from Boston, Steve calmly gets both platters of remaining cake out. Without explaining himself, he also produces a gallon tub of ice cream and lays everything out on the coffee table in front of their second hand couch. His thighs and arms have grown thicker over the years, cheeks fuller, jawline softer. His belly rounds out before him, spilling over in front and a litte to either side even while empty, and he has this way of kind of holding it as he shifts further back on the couch to get comfortable, like he doesn’t want to jostle it or maybe, maybe just needs it a little out of the way to better move around.
Eddie pretends not to watch but the second he glances up realizes he’s been caught out, because Steve meets his gaze, staring right back.
“I wanted to show you something,” Steve says, and holds out the old food journal, abandoned many semesters and a whole diploma ago once it had been determined that Steve’s triggers were mostly bright lights and stress-related.
Except… it wasn’t abandoned, apparently. Notes fill it up from cover to cover, post-its sticking out more and more towards the back pages where Steve’s increasingly squashed handwriting had run out of space for that day. Everything Steve had eaten, carefully recorded quantities. Some entries, Eddie notices, have a small ‘e’ written and circled next to them, and he’s about to ask when Steve sees where he’s looking and says, “That’s all the food you gave me.”
And Eddie hadn’t even realized how much he’d been doing that, because Steve had always just taken everything he’d offered without comment. It had become normal, like a reflex. And, okay, maybe he’d noticed that on days Steve ate more he tended to be a little more audible through the wall at night as he worked his way to completion, and maybe it had become Eddie’s favorite soundtrack to fall asleep too.
He doesn’t realize that his jaw has dropped until Steve sits forward with a grunt—a series of them really, because Eddie is on the bean bag chair on the other side of the coffee table and that was a bit of a reach even before Steve had started adding pound after pound to his own frame—and nudges it closed with a finger under his chin. Your move, Steve’s eyes seem to say as he sits back, resettles his ass and then his belly all over again.
“I’m bisexual,” Steve announces bluntly. “Figured I should just come out and say it, since I’m either really bad at hinting or you haven’t picked up on the fact I’ve been trying to for… a while now. Robin says it’s pretty painful to watch me fail so hard and you still act so oblivious. I think she’s sad for both of us. And,” he adds, laying a hand over the crest of his belly, “while I’m doing the open and honest communication thing—I like this. I like to eat, and I like how I look. And either you like it too or you’ve got this… codependent blind spot, Robin called it? Which I guess means you just give me things that you know I want without really thinking about it. But she also said that you might just think of me as off limits because we’re friends and we live together and I’ve never actually, like, told you that I like both, which… I don’t really have a good excuse for, other than being kind of a moron. So.” He gives his belly a double pat, which Eddie’s dazed brain can only liken to a judge banging a gavel, but whatever it’s supposed to mean is kind of drowned out by the way it wobbles and fills said brain with silent fizz. “This is me telling you. And asking, uh, if you’ve noticed, or have… any interest in me at all. If giving me food means anything, because—at the risk of making things incredibly weird between us—it makes me feel really good when you do.”
For a moment Eddie just gapes at him. He doesn’t even know when his mouth fell back open. His brain is still the equivalent of a shaken can of Coke that Steve’s just popped the top of, metaphorically foaming out his goddamn ears. And then when he tries to say something, it’s too many different sentences at once and just comes out as as a garbled, “Stehuhyuhwha…?”
Steve just huffs and says, “Stop trying to cheat at Scrabble, Eds.” Which is what Robin always says when Steve’s dyslexia or Eddie’s abuse of creativity in regards to spelling rears up during important moments. Like when she’s tricked them into playing Scrabble.
Eddie tries again. “Steve, what are you talking about? What do you mean you’ve been trying, to… to what? Both? Picked up on—What?!”
Immediately, Steve’s face flushes. “Shit, you really didn’t know? Any of it?”
“I knew about the eating,” Eddie says, and he feels like his voice has gone unusually high but can’t focus enough on that to decide if it’s actually true. “I mean, I knew you seemed okay with it, but you said your meds make you hungrier or something—How like is much, I mean, is like, I mean—” He slaps a hand over his own mouth to stop that runaway train of a sentence before it goes over a cliff any more than it already has, then tries to rephrase. “What do you mean by you like it?”
“Eddie. Have you noticed how often I put my fingers in my mouth when you’re around? Haven’t you heard me through the wall?”
Eddie’s face feels hotter than the sun. “Y-yeah…” He wonders if it’s really possible to die of spontaneous combustion, but confronted directly like this he can’t find it in himself to lie. “You… you touch yourself after you…”
“Eat a lot,” Steve finishes. “It feels good, getting so full like that. I sleep better after, especially if I, uh, come.” He flushes a little at the admission, too, so at least Eddie isn’t completely alone. “I say things sometimes, hoping you’ll hear.”
“I thought I was dreaming most of that,” Eddie admits, which makes Steve perk up a little.
“You dream about me?”
“I…” Letting out an embarrassed whine, Eddie brings a hand to his hair, dragging a clump of it down over his mouth in a ludicrous attempt to hide. “Shit, yeah. I do. I…” And, okay, if he’s going to admit this he’s not going to do it by halves, because if Steve can just say things that would get him labeled a freak in most circles, then so can Eddie, the official Freak of Hawkins, Indiana. “I listen and I picture what you might be doing in there, and I get off to it, man. I thought I was being a huge creep for doing that, but I couldn’t help it because it’s you, alright? At the risk of making things incredibly weird between us, Steve, I’ve been fucking gone on you for a mortifyingly long time and it’s only ever gotten worse, and I’m pretty sure that you saying any of what you’re saying now means I’ve finally lost my mind and I want you to be my padded cell. I don’t even know what that means, Steve, but I want it.”
Steve tilts his head slightly. “It’s gotten worse? In a bad way?”
“Oh my god,” Eddie groans, and drops his flaming face into his sweaty palms. “It’s gotten bigger. It’s gotten… more. What do you want from m—”
“Eddie,” Steve interrupts, cutting through his Freudian slips like a knife through butter. “Come here.”
When Eddie lifts his head, he sees that Steve is patting the section of couch next to him. Feeling dazed and like this might as well happen, Eddie climbs his feet and ambles around the laden coffee table on rickety Bambi legs. Jesus H Christ, is this what having a stroke feels like?
He sits. Steve lays a hand on his thigh and Eddie feels like it’s leaving a mark straight through the ripped denim.
“I want to show you something,” Steve says. “Try something, I guess. You can say no, but… I’m hoping you won’t. Because I’ve been thinking about this ever since you started writing things in that stupid journal for me. I want you to feed me cake and ice cream, and when the cake runs out I want you to pour the melted ice cream down my throat. Okay?”
“Should,” Eddie starts, and then has to clear his throat a few times because holy shit, his voice is rough and all the blood in his body just rushed south. “Should we do this on a communal couch, or… your room…?”
Steve’s eyes go hooded and dark, bedroom eyes if Eddie’s ever seen them. The goddamn Harrington Charm. “You wanna see where all the magic happens, baby? Finally get the visual to go with the audio?”
And well, that kind of answers the question of whether Steve was wolfing down leftovers in the kitchen or in bed, doesn’t it?
The next day, Robin gravely thanks them for not doing “hungry penis stuff” on shared furniture, a phrase which they vehemently beg her never to use again with varying degrees of dismayed wailing and hysterical laughter. And then she whacks them both upside their heads with a heartfelt, “Took you long enough, you dingi!”
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I’ve been living with my boyfriend and his family for a while. Now I’ve haven’t really stuffed myself like before but these people.. they eat a LOT
So here’s a little feedee story from me to you ❤️
We were about to eat one day, and we got called to the table. As soon as I looked around, I saw on everyone’s seat, a massive ducking steak with potatoes, Caesar salad, the steak was medium rare, seasoned and there were ribs as well 😳 I don’t know how I did it but I managed to cram everything in my stomach
However, I was bloated, so much so that my shirt actually rolled up and I was trying hard to pull it down to avoid any awkward situations 😅 I am not joking when I say I felt PREGNANT. And looked it as well. I’ve always been told I look a couple of months along but this time? Like you could’ve swore I was at least on my third trimester
Anyways my mind started to race, and eventually because the struggle was too real, my shirt wouldn’t cover my belly button anymore, letting my piercing to be on display, I tried hiding under the table. At this point I’m red as a tomato. I had to say I needed the bathroom because I’m turned on, and I need to get something bigger to hide my food baby anyways. I got a hoodie, but this wasn’t even enough, it was still showing even under the hoodie!
Needless to say, when I say I’m being well fed, I mean WELL FED
Like these pictures right here, they’re tonight! I haven’t even eaten in a bit and i can already tell I’ve gained weight. So that 220 lbs on my profile is no longer accurate
The best part of it all is that I’m about to start hrt, and if you’re a trans woman you know that taking estrogen makes you ravenous, and I mean hungry 24/7. This means I’ll gain even more and probably a bit faster too. Not only on my belly but also around my body like hips, butt, chest. So I think I’m about to become a fully fledged fatty 🥰
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endeavors #12 - insecurities
Summary: Grace is a little insecure after some comments, however August is right there.
August Walker x Grace Stanford (asian ofc)
Wordcount: 1.4k
Warning: Weight/weight loss mention, minuscule spanking, boob play, mention of making love - this is quite the tame chapter.
A/N: These two are so fucking blind, it's actually hilarious
Masterlist // endeavors masterlist
August and I have this new arrangement, where I don’t wear my underwear in the house and only very short skirts or dresses. That last part we already did, but no underwear? I feel like my permanent state of mind is now… excited. Ready for him. Hungry. Horny. Desperate to be fucked.
I love taking him every second of the day. It doesn’t matter when or how and with me being unemployed again, I have a lot of time.
And on top of that, August praises me for how well I take him, no matter when, no matter where. And that has impact on me. If I wasn’t addicted to him already, I certainly am now, constantly craving him and the way he manhandles me.
We’re now wandering through the grocery store, deciding what to buy for the next few days. August nonchalantly pushes the cart in front of him, leaning with his elbows on it. But I can feel his eyes roaming over my body. I’m wearing a skirt and tank top combo—we’re outside and I am therefore wearing underwear—but this is one of his favorite outfits, especially because the jeans skirt is on the tighter side, just like the top.
Yes, I dress for him now too. Call me awful, but I like the compliments.
‘Okay,’ I say, as I skip the chips aisle. ‘Next up is some broccoli from the freezer.’
‘Where are you going?’ August asks me. ‘Come on, we always eat chips with a movie.’
I shake my head. ’No, I’m watching my weight a little.’
He glares at me. ‘Why are you watching your weight?’ August asks me. He then narrows his eyes. ‘Who said what?’
I walk back to the cart and I lower my voice as I tell him about what I overheard some of my family members say when I visited them the other day.
‘Is this so-called weight gain an issue for you?’ August asks.
I shrug. ‘Well, they are right. I kind of have a tummy and quite the love handles now and I can feel it a bit in my jeans.’
He scoffs. ‘Who needs to wear jeans when you can wear dresses?’ August asks. ‘It’s easy access.’
I smack his stomach. ‘I’m serious, August. I’m just going to watch what I eat for a few weeks and then I’m back in shape again.’
‘I think you look beautiful,’ August admits. ‘If you want to lose weight for yourself, then I am all in, but if you do it because relatives have the audacity to talk about your weight behind your back… Please reconsider and know that you are beautiful, Grace.’
I nod, my stomach turning because of his sweet words. ‘Can we go to the freezer?’
August places his hand on my lower back and whispers: ‘We can, but please Grace, don’t let their words get to you, okay?’
I almost melt into him, especially when his hands descend a little to the curve of my ass. But I don’t, fighting every cell in the process.
‘Promise me,’ he then says, his voice a few tones deeper and more demanding.
I smile sadly. ‘I promise.’
﹌﹌
In the car August had his hand placed on my leg and I kept thinking about what he said in the store. We still skipped on the chips and other things I shouldn’t eat, but I couldn’t shake off what he told me. I hadn’t noticed any weight gain either, but once I heard my relatives talk about it, I took a good look in the mirror and saw the imperfections immediately.
When I was with August, he made me feel confident and thanks to him I feel good in my skin. I don’t think I have ever looked better, so maybe I was being an idiot for listening to them.
We’re experiencing some traffic jam and I look to the side. I lean over to press a kiss on his cheek. I normally don’t do that, but before he can think anything of it, I say: ‘Thank you, for the pep talk.’
‘Of course,’ he says. ‘For fuck’s sake, what an idiots. Talking about you like that. The audacity.’ He gives my thigh a squeeze and says: ‘I’ll go back later to grab some snacks.’
I chuckle, placing my hand on his. We look like a couple, I saw us in the reflection of the store, but it’s talks like this that make my feelings go into overdrive. It’s moments like this where I wonder if we would make a good couple.
By the time we get home and are safe and sound in our hallway, August holds out his hand and I know what to do. I step out of my underwear, before I slip out my bra. After placing it in his hand, he chuckles and together we walk towards the kitchen. We put away the groceries, however I could’ve and should’ve known that August would make it perverted instantly.
I mean, he did make me hand over my underwear.
He smacked my ass a few times and when I stood on a stool to put the groceries away, he placed his hand on my inner thigh, his thumb dangerously close to my already aching center.
Once everything is stored away, August stands behind me as I prepare the coffee. His bulge presses against my behind and I’m honestly getting way too excited. My nipple harden and August kneads my breasts through the thin fabric of my tank top. ‘You know,’ he whispers, his lips close to my ear, ‘I like these tight clothes on you. Show off all your perfections and your curves. What I don’t like is all those slimy bastards staring at you when you walk by.’
I lean against his chest and he nips my neck.
‘But little do they know that I am the one to make you scream, make you cum and begging.’
August has taken off my shirt a little quicker than necessary and turns me around. The coffee is long forgotten, as he leans forward and presses a kiss in between my breasts. ‘I love these,’ he admits.
‘What?’ I ask him, not knowing if I heard him right.
He smirks. ‘I love your breasts. They are really distracting when we’re out and about.’
His tongue teases my nipple and I gasp when he sinks his teeth it. I allow him manhandling my breasts in only a way he can, however I reach a limit. ‘Stop teasing me.’
‘Tell me, Grace, what do you want me to do?’
That is a first. He never asks me that.
Words are nowhere to be found.
‘You know what you want,’ August pushes.
I take a deep breath, because I do. ‘Can you make love to me?’
‘Make love?’ he parrots.
‘Or don’t you know how to do that?’ I joke.
He rolls his eyes with a smirk.
‘It’s just that… I never really properly made love with someone before and… I think you can show me how.’
He nods. ‘I can do that, Grace.’
﹌﹌
I knew August did sex. I suspected he also made love, though I was never on the receiving end of it. Sure, it was sensual from times of times, but there was always this roughness attached to it. However my stomach turns thinking back about what just happened. Deep kisses, softer touches and the everlasting eye contact.
I know there is no turning back now.
I am falling deeply for him.
August gets back in the bed again, holding a glass of water for me. I gulp it all down and he takes the glass from my hands once I am done. He smiles and asks: ‘What?’
‘August Walker is capable of making love.’
‘Of course I am.’ He tugs me closer. ‘Not with everybody though. I don’t let my guard down like that with everyone.’
I turn on my side and he does the same thing. ‘So, I should feel special?’
‘Well, most of the times women just ask me to fuck them, not make love to them. You were the first who asked.’ He places his hand on my cheek. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘I feel good.’ I smile and whisper: ‘I feel beautiful.’
‘You should,’ he says. ‘You are absolutely breathtaking. You know… Ever since we started this, you have become more confident. You have blossomed. Despite losing your jobs, you bounced back from it and have only grown from that. From a shy lady to a confident woman.’
I curl up against his body, unable to say something.
‘Besides, you’re quite the slut being able to take me so well. I sure am a lucky guy.’
I pinch his nipple. He lets out a chuckle and I laugh as well.
‘Thank you, Grace.’
‘For what?’
‘For always trusting me.’
﹌﹌
endeavors taglist: @diegos-butt // @thelastsock // @liecastillo // @mis-lil-red // @sofiebstar // @abschaffer2 // @crazybutconfidentaf // @summersong69 // @gearhead66 // @xobriellaxo24 // @kebabgirl67 // @eldarwen333 // @kingliam2019 // @cherry-gemz // @sillyrabbit81 // @enchantedbytomandhenry // @lyrarodriguez // @islacharlotte // @sunshine96love // @oddsnendsfanfics // @xuxszx // @omgkatinka // @pterodactylterrace / @peaches1958 // @pandaxnienke // @teamfan7asy // @raccoon-eyed-rebel // @geralts-yenn
#august walker#august walker fanfiction#august walker x ofc#august walker x asian ofc#august walker x grace stanford#august walker smut#henry cavill fandom#henry cavill#asian ofc#grace stanford#endeavors
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Did you ever notice any sign of feederism-related behavior on your social circles? Like girls talking about that they don't care anymore about their weights and just enjoy eating
So not really in any of my friend groups or anything like that. HOWEVER, my bakery coworkers?!? Omg 😵💫😵💫😵💫
So like it’s crazy. I won’t go into too much detail because I feel that’s not my place but my one coworker won’t stop talking about how the freshman 15 should be called the freshman 30 and the way she’s talking about it I don’t think she minds.
The other coworker is normally very health oriented and such but she told me that she started some new medication and it just makes her super hungry all the time, so much so she has to eat on every break now.
It’s just crazy and low key kinda love it that I’m not the only one gaining weight. Makes it easier if I blend in. They say 3’s a crowd after all 🤭
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New Year, Bigger me!
As a conclusion to my 2 week long weight gain challenge, where I gorged myself into being 10 pounds heavier than when I started, I decided that I would eat 5,000 calories on New Years Eve.
My day started around 7:00 am, when my tummy woke me up absolutely starving! Before the challenge began I never ate breakfast, but the massive amount of food I was eating every day for the challenge made my body absolutely ravenous all the time, meaning midnight snacks and early breakfasts were a must. Before my parents were even awake, I was in my car driving to a convenient store to buy food. Knowing how much I was going to be eating today, I went light on the breakfast, only getting an apple danish and a coffee, coming out to only 600 calories.
At around 10:00 am, I was once again absolutely ravenous, so I went out and grabbed my first lunch for the day. Eating two lunches had become pretty normal at this point, and was needed to keep me full all day.
My first lunch was a 12 inch Italian sub from Firehouse. This may have been the best sub I’ve ever had. The saltiness of the salami, sweetness of the ham, fatty goodness of the mayo, and the crispy fresh bread left me moaning as I ate. After only around 8 minutes, all 1400 calories were in by belly. The sub was gone and the container it came in was licked clean. At this point, I was neither full, nor satisfied.
Only a few hours later at 1:00 pm, I ate my second lunch. I was amazed that I was already hungry again, and it just felt so hot!
I decided that I was going to feast in public today. Grabbing my car keys, I drove straight to Taco Bell. Once inside, I proceeded to order enough to feed a family. Two tacos, two burritos, and fiesta potatoes. The food was handed to me in a large travel bag, but I could tell the employees were a bit concerned when I opened the bag and emptied it onto a table in the middle of the restaurant. I then sat down and absolutely feasted. I was focused on nothing but forcing more food into my gut. I knew others were watching and judging me, but I just continued to eat. Before I could register it, the food was gone. I only now realized just how stuffed I was, taking 5 minutes to just sit and take struggled breaths. Once I decided it was time to leave, I slowly stood up, and waddled over to throw away my trash. At this point I was embarrassed, and had to waddle out of the packed restaurant all the way to my car. I then drove home, and proceeded to take a nice long nap before work.
Because it was New Year’s Eve, I was only working for four hours, meaning all I was really doing was closing the store. This little bit of work left me hungry once again, but luckily someone brought in a cake to celebrate! I ate about a quarter of the cake, since most of my coworkers didn’t want any.
Once I clocked out, I went next door a grabbed a chicken quesadilla with chips and queso from chipotle. I then went home and ate, finishing the food around 10:00 pm. After the cake, I was pretty full, and my tummy was definitely gurgling.
Finally, at the end of the night I decided to eat some of my parents baked ziti. I wanted to be as full as possible for the New Year, so I ate as much as I could even though it was pretty bland.
As my fork scraped the bottom of the bowl, I looked down and it was 11:58. With all this food inside me, I had to waddle out to the living room, unimaginably turned on by the food sloshing around in my tummy.
Then, It was finally 2023. I barely had time to celebrate, wanting to take some picture then fall into a food coma.
I’m extremely proud of what I accomplished that day, having eaten 5,894 calories, and am even more proud of my massive gut in these pictures!
#feederist#so stuffed#chubby#feedee belly#feeding kink#inflated belly#fat belly#belly expansion#fat piggy#sexy belly#fatboy
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"Safe" (Pt. 4)
Masterpost:
It was getting colder by the day.
It wasn’t a surprise. He’d always known that when the first raindrops fell, they’d turn into snow soon after. For a brief few days, it would be a marvel, a new sensation to touch and taste and explore. After that, he’d awaken buried up to his ears and choking for air as he struggled to dig himself out. The humans that walked the street would grow few and far between, hurrying on their way to get out of the cold in their long jackets and furry hats pulled down to their ears. If they bought themselves any food, they’d eat it inside, rather than walk out in the cold, damp streets. Instead of throwing their trash out in the street or in an easily accessible bin, their leftovers were tossed into dumpsters too heavy for his weakened body to lift. Yes, winter was the worst.
And it was coming far too early.
Already he could tell that the crowds were getting smaller. The wind had flipped too many umbrellas inside out for people to bother coming out. When he fell asleep, he awoke to sharp bristles of frost and tiny icicles dripping off of the sides of his cardboard shelter. He hadn’t even had time to prepare anything, and yet it was here.
And now, there was nothing he could do but try and survive.
He should’ve been preparing better. He should’ve pounced on every scrap of food that had been available to him in the hotter months in order to gain enough weight. His mouth watered now at the thought of all the meals he’d missed. Sugary doughnuts, cold potato salad, sausage links, pecan pie. She would almost never feed him the same thing twice. And he’d ignored it, turned up his nose like he actually had a better choice. Why? For what?! So he could prove he was free? Independent?
Then yes, yes he was. And for that he was going to die cold, alone, and hungry. His cough was getting worse. It was only a matter of time.
And ever since the first snowflake fell, he hadn’t seen her once.
Where once she looked for him, he now looked for her. Now he roamed the streets, trying to catch a glimpse of her big scarf and puffy jacket. He waited every night at a different spot, all the hiding places he knew she’d found out. Still, nothing. Always, always nothing.
Maybe it was all his fault. Maybe he’d scampered away one too many times and she didn’t think it was worth it anymore. Maybe he’d wasted so much food she couldn’t afford any more. Maybe he deserved to die, because even though he’d tried so so hard, he was dependent on her now. He couldn’t survive on his own anymore. He was completely at her mercy.
I’m safe.
I’m safe, I’m safe, I’m safe…
But it was getting harder and harder to pretend, especially as the snow began to pile up. There wasn’t enough cardboard in the world to keep him dry, and there wasn’t anything he could do. When he wasn’t sick, he was hungry, and when he wasn’t hungry, which was rare, he was so tired he couldn’t bear to take another step. When he finally collapsed into a large box outside the supermarket, he already knew he wasn’t getting out. What was the point? He’d already given up. He’d already known that the second someone picked him up, and he hadn’t tried to run away.
He just closed his eyes, and waited to die.
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Jordan has stomach bug + the girls (and Oliver) caretakers
BTW, Oliver is absolutely one of the girls. Also, I want to do more stories with him so plz suggest any ideas if you have any.
Also, I realize now that I should probably put emeto warnings at the beginnings of my stories, so. . .
!emeto warning!
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It was a girls’ day (plus Oliver). No Isaac or Keiko. They all decided to enjoy their Saturday at the mall together. All of them were having a blast. Except for Jordan.
The Chick-fil-a in front of Jordan would’ve looked appetizing to her on any other day, but today was just not that day.
She stared at her nuggets with a frown as she nibbled on a waffle fry. She wasn’t hungry at all, which was shocking since Jordan was always hungry.
In the mall food court, there were so many different smells making Jordan’s stomach turn and her head spin.
Suddenly, a hand took one of her fries and she looked up at her girlfriend. Eliana smiled and ate the fry. Jordan smiled weakly back and looked back down again, making Eliana frown. Normally, Jordan would’ve said ‘hey!’ and taken one of Eliana’s chips from Subway. Saying nothing was widely out of character for her.
“Hey, babe,” Eliana said, making Jordan look back up at her. “You feeling okay?”
Jordan smiled tiredly again and nodded. Eliana wasn’t convinced.
But just as Eliana was about to say something else, Oliver and Amberlynn came to the table.
“Jeez, the line for the pizza place is long,” Amberlynn sighed, sitting and setting a tray with three giant slices of pizza in front of her. Amberlynn, all of them were convinced, was some kind of mystical being that had a magical void in her stomach that never filled. She ate like her life depended on it, but she never gained weight!
Oliver sat down, too, but he just had one slice of pizza and a little chocolate chip cookie. “Where’s Spirit and Birdie?” he asked.
“Chinese food line,” Eliana said. “There’s a long line there, too.”
It was a busy day at the mall. So many people everywhere, and the building’s poor AC made a hot, sticky feeling spread over Jordan’s skin. She felt so gross.
Her girlfriend and friends chatted, but Jordan (who usually talked the most) stayed silent.
Eliana was getting more and more worried about Jordan by the second. Oliver and Amberlynn started to notice Jordan’s strange behavior too but didn’t say anything.
When Spirit and Birdie arrived, it wasn’t long before Spirit noticed something off about Jordan, too. And if Birdie noticed also, she said nothing and didn’t show it.
When they all were done eating, they resumed shopping. Eliana, Amberlynn and Birdie all had a lot of bags already. Oliver had two, Spirit was wearing the too-big jean jacket she bought, and Jordan had nothing, much to all of their shock since Jordan was a shopping queen.
Spirit groaned and whined as Birdie dragged her to a ceramic store for the third time that day, and Amberlynn walked off to Hot Topic on her own. Suddenly, it was only Jordan, Eliana and Oliver.
Jordan was walking with her hand in Eliana’s while her girlfriend and Oliver chatted. Her mind drifted off, and suddenly she was only focused on the noise around her and the churning in her stomach. In the back of her throat, she could taste the tiny bit of her fries and nuggets she ate.
Suddenly, Eliana said something to her, and she looked up, coming back to reality. “Hm?” Jordan hadn’t even realized that the three of them had stopped walking.
“I asked if you’re feeling okay,” Eliana said, a worried frown on. Oliver had on a similar look behind her. “You’re so quiet and you look greyish.”
Swallowing the water flooding her mouth, Jordan shrugged. “I’m fine,” she mumbled. “Just a little dizzy, that’s all.”
Eliana’s frown deepened. “You wanna sit?”
“I have Tylenol if you want some,” Oliver offered, taking a small container of pills out of his pocket.
Jordan shook her head. That was a mistake, because the room was getting warmer by the second and her head was already spinning, and suddenly Jordan felt like she was tilting and tilting and tipping forward and. . .
She doubled over and sick splatted all over her shoes, Eliana’s shoes, and the ground. Eliana stepped back a bit, startled, but didn’t let go of Jordan’s hand. Then she moved forward, cupping her girlfriends forehead. “Shit. . you’re okay, babe. Just get it up.” Beneath Eliana’s hand, Jordan’s skin was burning.
Each retch was painful. Jordan’s stomach felt like it was on fire and the sticky feeling got worse as sweat drenched her.
She could hear Eliana and Oliver saying something. Then she heard Oliver leave.
Jordan was feeling too horrible to be embarrassed by all of the people watching the scene. When her legs gave out, she was caught not only by her girlfriend, but also by a set of firmer, slightly larger hands.
“Holy shit,” she heard Spirit say.
“Amber,” Eliana said, her voice shockingly calm, “get my keys out of my pocket and bring my car up front.”
Jordan heard a jingle of keys and the sound of footsteps running away. Birdie and Oliver stood behind Jordan, watching as she trembled with every breath.
“Jor?” Oliver said. “You good.”
She vomited in response.
Spirit shot a deadpan look at him. “Does that answer your question?”
Oliver blushed a bit, embarrassed. “Yeah, that was a pretty dumb question.”
After a few minutes, Jordan spat into her puddle of sick and mumbled, “‘mmmm done.”
Eliana cooed her as she and Spirit helped her up. As they walked off, Birdie got a look at the sick puddle and gagged. Oliver sighed and covered her eyes with his hand and guided her past the puddle, following the others. He felt bad for whoever was gonna have to clean up that mess.
Amberlynn had brought Eliana’s car to the front of the mall and was leaning against it, waiting. She opened the passenger door and Eliana helped Jordan inside.
Eliana shut the door and looked at her friends. “You all should keep shopping. Enjoy your Saturday—I’ll take her home.”
Spirit raised a skeptical brow. “You sure?”
Eliana nodded. After a bit of protesting from her friends, they finally agreed to keep enjoying their Saturday after she promised she’d text them later and assured them that she’d call Keiko if she needed help.
Once the others had gone inside, Eliana got into the driver seat and looked at Jordan who had her eyes closed and was hunched over in her seat, clutching her aching stomach.
“Oh, babe,” Eliana cooed. “What’s hurting? Just your stomach?”
Jordan shook her head. “My head,” she said in a small voice. Tears were forming between her closed eyes. “I really don’t feel good.”
Eliana rubbed her back softly as she pulled out of the mall parking lot. “I know, babe. I promise, we’ll be home soon. You have a fever, which is probably why your head is hurting."
The drive felt too long, but Jordan thankfully didn’t throw up until the car was parked and she could puke out the door while Eliana held her hair. After a few minutes of puking and dry heaving, they managed to get inside and up to the top floor where Jordan lived. Jordan was so tempted to just flop on the couch, but Eliana brought her to the bathroom and positioned her in front of a toilet. Jordan’s hair was soon tied up in a scrunchy, and she felt so good to have it off of her sweaty neck.
“I’m gonna run a cool bath for you and get you some meds. Okay?” Eliana asked. Jordan just nodded, and Eliana stood, turning on the water in Jordan’s luxury triangular bathtub and leaving the bathroom to grab some medicine and a bucket.
When she came back, there was more puke in the toilet, and Eliana was genuinely shocked that her girlfriend had anything left in her.
Eliana helped Jordan undress and get in the bath. She hissed at the cold, but eventually relaxed and shut her eyes.
Eliana went back to the bedroom to make the bed and get some clothes for Jordan. When she got back to the bathroom, her sick girlfriend was asleep. She woke her up and wet her hands with the water, rubbing them on Jordan’s feverish face. She had Jordan take the meds and drink some water. She was glad when her girlfriend managed to keep it down.
Several minutes later, she got Jordan out of the bath, dried her, and got her in the soft PJs. “C’mon,” she said to the taller girl. “You need some sleep.”
Jordan literally face-planted onto the soft bed. Eliana joined her, sitting with her back against the headboard, and Jordan moved, placing her head on Eliana’s lap. Eliana smiled, stroking loose strands of coal-black hair away from Jordan’s face.
Eliana scrolled on her phone for a while before she got a text from Amberlynn asking, ‘Hey, how’s Jor? Is she okay?’
Eliana smiled and texted all of the girls (and Oliver) that Jordan was fine now. Suddenly, the sick girl made a sleepy sound and moved, blinking a bit.
“Hey,” Eliana said softly. “You okay?”
Jordan smiled too, closing her eyes again and snuggling closer to Eliana, burying her face in her stomach. “I love you,” she sighed sleepily.
Eliana sighed and said, “I love you too.” She paused for a minute before smirking and saying, “We’ll go shopping next weekend. Thanks to you, we both need new shoes.”
#whump#thebrilliantidiots#Jordan#eliana#JxE#why is it so entertaining to make your characters suffer? I know it's not just me
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Dear P.O.T.S.,
I have a confession to make that I’m going to regret putting out into the world. If anyone sees this, I’m in trouble but if no one sees this then I’m still in trouble.
I just don’t know which trouble is worse.
Well, let’s get right into it.
I’ve been skipping meals.
Now, before anyone panics, I’m still eating snacks. But the only real meal I have typically is lunch. During the week I don’t have breakfast if I can help it and I don’t have dinner if I think no one will notice I’ve skipped it. I hate eating by myself but I also hate eating with people. All that plays in my head is Are they seeing how much I’m eating? Am I eating too much? Will they judge me if I have take this, if I have more of that?
It’s a miserable way to think, and I try to stop it when it happens because I’m aware that it doesn’t matter what people think of my eating habits, as long as I’m eating something, that’s better than nothing and I should be proud of myself for that. But I’ve gained a lot of weight. My belly flaps over my jeans no matter what I do. I suck it in and nothing changes. I have a double chin - that’s not really new, I’ve always had that, but it’s worse now. I can’t look in the mirror without seeing the outline of the waist I used to have, and it’s truly upsetting when I see old pictures of me having the body I want now. I was lucky to have it when I did and now I’ll never get it back.
I’ve gained probably close to 50 pounds since I started taking my medication for my depression and anxiety. I don’t fit into my nice clothes and I’ve had to buy entirely new things for the second time. I’m tired of being this heavy. And I don’t have the energy to exercise so I guess the only other answer I could come up with was skipping meals.
But I still eat sweats when they’re there.
It’s just meals that I’m skipping. Going to bed hungry isn’t a big deal anymore. It feels good to know that maybe being a little hungry will help me lose some weight.
I have stretch marks on my body from where the weight has settled. I see them every day and I try to ignore it but it’s impossible. They’re there. And if I wear shorts or short sleeves or crop tops you can see them. And it makes me hate myself a little bit more every day.
The mirror, which I never used to shy away from, I now see as an enemy.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Exercise would probably fix my situation better than skipping meals. But I’ve tried exercising in the past and I haven’t lost weight. So maybe skipping meals will help. Or maybe it won’t because I do eat sweats and snacks when I think my parents won’t notice.
I don’t know.
I just don’t know.
Love,
Potsie
#tw disordered eating#I think that’s what it’s called anyway#lovepotise#chronic illness#postural orthostatic tachycardia symdrome#potsie#spoonie#i have more to say but I think it’s more harmful to say it than it is to keep it in
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Hi.
This is my first post on here.
I’ve decided I needed to put my thoughts somewhere and I feel like this is the safest place to do it.
I want to write about my self loathing, my struggle with weight, all that stuff.
About two years ago, I was living in a dorm and suddenly got a bed bug infestation. I decided I had to leave to escape it. I was “homeless” for six months, so I had to live with my best friend who lived far away from my university. I have a very intense fear of trains because of social anxiety and the general fear of men and being attacked, so I completely stopped going to university for an entire semester. Her and I both struggle with going out, so we survived off of ordering food. It was both incredibly costly, thus making me waste almost all my savings on food, and also a huge issue for my weight. After I finally got a studio, I continued putting on the weight. In total, I put on around 10 kgs. I am about 167 cm tall (around 5’6-7) and weigh 79kgs. I am overweight.
Since then, it has been completely impossible for me to lose the weight for multiple reasons:
- I struggled with finding a way to eat balanced meals as I really don’t enjoy cooking.
- As I mentioned before, I struggle with going out because of social anxiety and other fears, so getting groceries and fresh produce regularly is impossible for me, and ordering groceries is not an option because it’s very expensive.
- I tried fasting, and I will continue to try because it seems like the only option, but it’s a slow process.
- Calorie counting proved to be incredibly anxiety inducing and restrictive, so I kind of gave up after two weeks, it was very difficult to keep up.
- Now, my biggest issue. I DESPISE working out. I cannot, physically, make myself to do. It induces such an indescribably violent rage in me and I don’t know what to do about it. It is the most unpleasant, downright painful, infuriating activity. I want to go to the gym to just walk on the treadmill but I simply cannot because of the previously mentioned issues. There is basically nobody I can go with either, so I am very lost. Walking outside it out of the question, again, same issues, but I also live in a very dangerous city so it makes it a billion times worse.
At this point, I don’t know if this is an issue I need to resolve in therapy, because I don’t go so I wouldn’t know.
I am completely hopeless. It’s unbearable to be this overweight and not know what to do. I feel powerless. It feels completely impossible. It’s simply not going to happen, and I don’t know if I should just accept I will never lose this weight.
It’s all I think about. Every waking second I think about how much I hate the way I look. Every time I see anyone whether online or in person, my immediate reaction is to look at their body and compare it to mine. It’s like a biological response. I don’t think to do it, it just happens unprompted. I’m conditioned to do that. All I think about is food, whether because I’m hungry or because I don’t know what to eat next that won’t make me gain weight. Food is my biggest enemy, I despise it with every fiber of my being. I wish so badly I didn’t need to eat at all, I can’t stand it. It’s the worse thing about this stupid life. I desperately want to get rid of it.
I don’t care if anyone read this, I just needed to write my thoughts somewhere. But if you did, thank you. I truly appreciate it.
If you feel the same, well, I wish you all the best. Maybe we can do something about this. I don’t know.
#weight loss#i wanna lose weight#i need to lose this weight#tw weight#weight#gaining fat#hopelessness#i don’t know what to do#desperate#blogging#blog#my diary#dear diary#tumblr diary
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Projections.
Cali has dreams of her partner, Jannah, getting fat. Jannah begins to notice that her appetite has grown and soon Cali’s dreams become a reality.
Cali’s perspective: 🧡
Jannah’s perspective: 💚
~🧡
You run your fingertips over the hump of her gut. You press down lightly and she hums.
“Trying to find space?” She coos. “There’s no more.”
You smooth your hand flat against her stomach and caress it, reaching up with your other hand to her face. You tilt her face towards you and kiss her sweetly.
Pulling away, you smile at her. “For now.”
-
The alarm screeches at you but you want to go back to sleep. You had one of those dreams again. It seems like they are happening more often lately, it’s almost every night.
You turn off your alarm and roll over. There she is, the woman of your dreams, only in real life she appears far different. Her hair’s a mess, with one arm awkwardly laid over her head. You slide your fingers underneath the covers and touch her stomach, flat and not soft. You stroke it and she stirs.
“Cal,” Jannah mumbles. “You’re tickling me.”
You pull your hand away and give her a kiss.
“Time to get up.” And time for you to head back to reality.
-
~💚
You sigh and push yourself up and out of bed. Your stomach growls louder than you’re used to. Cali is already in the kitchen making breakfast when you go in.
“I am famished.” You express in a slightly confused tone.
Cali blinks and furrows her brow. “Why d’you think?”
“I don’t know, just please feed me something before I perish.” You reply.
“Don’t be overdramatic.” Cali chuckles.
~💚
Something had to be going on because you are just so hungry all the time. What has it been, not even a week? You and Cali had to go get extra groceries because you just about cleared out everything in the house.
“Do you need seconds?” Cali asks as you clear your plate of ravioli.
“Mmm,” you say, still chewing. “Yeah, yes please.
-
~🧡
She was hovering over you in a haze. Soft light gathered all around her, her hair perfectly framing her soft face. Slowly she descended until she was on top of you. Her weight took the breath out of you, and her fatty flesh engulfed you. She wrapped her arms around you and you lean into her. You kiss her soft jaw and neck, sucking gently. She moans and grips you tighter…
~
The harsh sound of your alarm just about cracks your skull open. You jump and push yourself up slightly.
“Hey, Cal.” Jannah says. “What’s wrong?”
You slam your alarm off, physically tense. “Nothing, just got surprised by the alarm.”
The dreams you’re having are more intense, they feel clearer. They happen every night now. You keep debating whether or not to tell Jannah. The fact that she’s eating so much so suddenly isn’t helping either. Or… is it? You turn to her, creeping your fingers under the covers. You place your hand on her stomach. You think it feels the same but the idea, the dreams that she could be bigger.
Her stomach growls and she lets out a mock whimper.
“Great, I’m hungry again ‘cause you woke me up.” She mumbles.
You flush and remove your hand. “Oops.”
-
~💚
Your pants would be the death of you, you swear.
You didn’t particularly care about waistline fluctuations that occurred after eating. The problem was that you were just so hungry you had to eat until your pants needed to be shimmied off.
You decided to get some protein shakes to help you feel full, downing them one after the other like an Olympic champ. Eventually you’d very suddenly feel overfull. Starving or stuffed and no in between.
Luckily for you Cali was a champ about the whole thing.
~💚
“Hmm. Hmmmm.” You kept rubbing your hands over your stomach. Today you woke up not absolutely starving, a change from the last week and a half. However that wasn’t the only change.
You turn sideways, examining yourself in the mirror. Yep, you’ve definitely gotten wider. You look down and pinch around your belly button. Squish. You dig your fingers in deeper. Squish. There’s technically not a lot there, but you have gained fat and- squish, it’s… nice.
You blush but can’t take your hands off. It’s soft, it’s comforting.
“Damn.” You hear Cali whisper and you whip around to see her stand in the open doorway.
Oh god, you think, what is she going to say, what is she-
“That’s a hot tum you got there, babe.” She says.
-
~🧡
That night your dream is more vivid, and extreme. Jannah is settling into a chair. She’s thin like she is when you’re awake. Your hands guide a nozzle into her mouth and she begins to swallow. One, two, three, four, her eyes start to glaze over before they close, her hands gripping the seat of the chair. Her stomach is rounding, becoming taut with whatever dream elixir is being pumping into her mouth. However, her stomach begins to soften, and you realize that the contents of this liquid are already turning into fat. It seems like it’s happening solely around her stomach.
You stand, stuck in place as you watch her stomach evolve into a gut that rests on her thighs, before it spills over her legs and nears her knees. You hear a snap and watch and she falls to the floor. You rush over, hand on her shoulder.
“Are you alright?” You say.
But Jannah is not listening to you, the nozzle is still happily stuck between her lips. Her arms are pressed against the sides of her gut. You reach out…
-
You moan as your alarm screeches. Goddammit.
-
~💚
You put your phone away and turn towards Cali, sitting to your left on the couch watching television.
“Twenty-five minutes.” You say. That’s how long it will take for the food you ordered to arrive. “Are you excited?”
Cali blushes. “I just want to make sure you are okay with all this.” She gestures. “You can stop whenever you want.”
“I am perfectly capable of making my own choices and this is one of them.” You smile and turn to watch the TV.
You had gained almost fifteen pounds, but you weren’t concerned. It gave you an excuse to eat all the time, and you loved it. Even if you wanted to stop, you’re not sure you could. Food was always on your mind.
-
~🧡
“So, how long have you been having these dreams?” Jannah inquires, her head tilted.
“About weight gain in general or about…” You trail off. You had gotten a lot better with sharing with Jannah, but things had opened up between you so quickly you were still trying to get used to it.
“Me.” She smiles mischievously.
“I think it was only about a month before I basically blurted out my attraction to your waistline.” You answer.
“Tum? This tum?” She pats her stomach. According to Jannah, she had gained 20 pounds, but she was still wearing most of her old clothes.
You laugh, “Yes.”
“Care to divulge the specifics?” She leans forwards, resting her head on her hand.
“Well, they are dreams, so a lot of it was, unrealistic fantasy stuff. You were floating in one.”
“Well, no offence but that’s not very interesting.” Jannah chides. “If you won’t tell me your specifics then I’ll tell you mine.
You feel a tingling sensation. “Oh?”
“There’s this one where I’m at an airport, I go through all these corridors. I’m not lost though, I eventually arrive at plain looking door and inside is a small, dim room.” She readjusts and clears her throat.
“There are a couple of people in there, and they ask me questions, and hand me a clipboard and lead me throw a curtain. Past the curtain is a huge table.” Jannah stretches her arms out wide. “It’s covered in all sorts of food, fried chicken, fries, pizza, souvlaki, sliders and burgers, loads of stuff. It’s all neatly lined up so that you can only eat one thing at a time. So if you start on the fries, you have to eat all the fries before you can eat a different food. Oh, and there’s water and pop on the side.”
“Is that all?” You tease.
“If there’s more I can’t remember, anyway,” She continues. “I always start on the pizza.”
“Figures.” You laugh. That girl loved her pizza.
“Then, the order of things changes.” Jannah explains. “As I keep eating, my whole body gets softer. It gets to the point where I’m reaching over to the far side of the table and tum is so much in the way I can’t reach the food on the other side! And then one of the faceless airport people need to push it towards me. Like, can you imagine?” She looks you in the eyes.
You are sitting there blushing and squirming in your seat. Jannah quickly looks you up and down and smirks. She knows you can imagine.
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DESIRED BODY (tips + success story) TW: slight eating disorder
Okay, so for a long time I had a horrible self concept of my body and manifesting my dream body was extremely complicated and difficult. BUT one day I realized what I was doing wrong and I was able to slowly change my self concept and achieve the body I want.
A big part of my body manifestation was my stomach area and slimming my body. I would read different manifestation blogs and they would say “pretend that you have the body that you want and walk around pretending that you already look the way you do”. I tried to do this but it didn’t really work because my self-concept was extremely skewed. I would affirm that “I’m so grateful for my skinny body” but then I would look in the mirror and be so disgusted with myself. I also stopped dieting but I started to notice my body wasn’t getting to the place I wanted it to be. This was due to the fact that even though I was eating whatever I wanted to eat I was having really bad and guilty feelings about the food that I ate, but then I would try to affirm that I am skinny. I also went through a period of time where I would starve myself and then binge at night because I was so hungry. I thought that if I only ate one meal a day or if I only ate less than 1000 calories a day I could stay / be skinny…. Boy was I wrong.
Although I was affirming, I wasn’t feeling good about myself. I would place such negative emotions on my eating that it would hinder my manifestations. I stopped manifesting all together and just gave up. Fast forward 2 months later, I injure both of my knees and couldn’t exercise anymore. This made me worry that I would gain weight. At this point I was on a strict vegan diet and exercising almost 2 hours a day. This injury made me feel so much anxiety I didn’t know what to do, but the same day I hurt my knees I started scrolling randomly on tumblr and redound LOA material. I read a few of them and thought to myself “I should try it. What could go wrong?”
From this point forward I stopped my strict vegan diet, and ate the foods I used to restrictmyself from eating. After I ate if a bad thought came in I would flip it and say, “doesn’t matter. I already have my dream body.” When I would feel even a small inkling of doubt of insecurity I would tell myself “I already have my dream body”. Whenever I looked in the mirror and felt bad about how I looked I would immediately close my eyes and imagine myself slim and in a bikini until I felt good. 2 months later, my knees are completely healed and I haven’t gained a single pound. In fact I lost a lot of weight. Jeans and shorts I couldn’t fit into became TOO big even though I wasn’t exercising and I was eating everything and anything my heart desired.
I sort of plateaued after that BUT I realized it was because of my thoughts. Whenever I put on clothes I would assume my stomach would touch the fabric or that the jeans would feel tight. So I started to assume and imagine anytime I put on my clothes that they felt so loose and huge. And anytime I sat down my stomach was flat and didn’t roll over. This really helped speed up my manifestations and voila. Here I am, with my dream body and such a good self concept.
I hope my story and tips can help you achieve this as well. And I also want to say that don’t worry about time. Be patient. We spent so much time being mean to ourselves / talking badly about ourselves it’s time to be nice to ourselves and realize that we can truly change ourselves with our thoughts. Don’t worry if it’s difficult at first. Change is hard. But please persist in the change. It will be worth it and I know you can do it. If you need help my ask is always open!
Now let me give a few tips that helped me and might help you!
-when I wasn’t in my dream body I used to try on clothing in my closet to see if I lost any weight. DONT DO THIS!! If you were at your dream body would you constantly be checking to see if you fit in your clothes? No!! That’s silly.
-wear the first outfit you pick. A lot of the time I would change my outfits because I thought I looked fat. Would dream body me do this? Nope! I wear the first outfit I pick because I know I’m hot af and my body is perfect. Don’t worry yourself over “my rolls are showing” or “I look so wide”. My sweet Angel you looks stunning and drop dead gorgeous. Your mirror is a lie!!
-stop weighing and measuring yourself! Dream body you would not be doing that. You already know you got the goods so why keep checking??
-don’t keep checking mirrors. When I would walk by stores with reflective windows / mirrors I would always check my side to see if I looked thin. Stop! You are thin. Fuck them windows and mirrors. We don’t need them!!!
-eat what you want. Seriously eat whatever the hell you want (unless it will kill you). If you want pizza? Eat it. If you want pasta? Eat it. Carbs are your friends. Idgaf what anyone says. Eat whatever you want. Now it may take a while to get to this point and that’s okay. Food relationships can be a tough one to change, and I realize and recognize that. But we need to recognize and realize food is NOT our enemy. Food loves us. It nourishes us and keeps us going. Somebody put love and effort into the food we ate. Its not our enemy it’s our friend.
-assume your clothes fit even if 3D tells you they are too tight. Just feel that and assume that it fits. Something that helped me was closing my eyes and imagining they fit.
-whenever you see something you don’t like in the mirror close your eyes and imagine yourself perfect in the mirror. Imagine you in your perfect body. Imagine your looking at that same exact mirror but with the body you want.
-it’s okay to have bad days. When this happens self care to the max. Make your favorite tea / drink, lay in bed all day, watch a movie, cry, journal… anything to make yourself feel SAFE and COMFORTABLE. YOU are so important. Take care of yourself.
-whenever you feel like saying bad thoughts about/to yourself, think about someone you love. It could be a pet, a family member or a friend, anybody! Now… would you say these things to that person? Would you tell them that they are ugly or they are fat or their body is disgusting? What would you say to that person if they were saying that about themselves? Now apply this to you and stop yourself from those thoughts. Learn to love yourself to then point you recognize bad thoughts are not needed.
Happy manifesting my beautiful angels. ❤️
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i don’t know how to cope with my weight gain. I’ve gained so much weight and i feel like im constantly gaining more. Clothes from two summers ago don’t fit anymore. A pair of jeans that were loose on me fit now. I’m afraid it’s not going to stop. Im afraid I’ll just keep gaining weight. Im afraid im eating too much. Im afraid im doing something wrong by eating at all. Im afraid to stop exercising because it makes me feel worse about food. Im afraid im never going to get better and im afraid I don’t deserve to get better and im afraid im doing it wrong and I feel disgusting and uncomfortable and I don’t like feeling hungry and i don’t like feeling full and I don’t know how much I’m supposed to eat in a day and no one listens to me when I say im afraid im eating too much because they all think I’m still under eating but what if they’re wrong because they don’t know what I eat in a day and what if I keep gaining weight and it doesn’t stop I don’t want to have to replace my clothes im sorry for the rant Im having a hard time
I'm just now seeing this ask, and I'm so, so sorry! I hope you're okay, anon. Please forgive me <3
I know exactly how you feel, I really do. Here is a gentle reminder that we are not meant to fit into the clothes, they are meant to fit us. Something that helps me with these thoughts is this: I started my eating disorder when I was 16 years old. I'm 19 now, and my body is no longer the same as it was when I was 16. I look back on myself before my ed, and wish that I hadn't done what I did, but I wouldn't look like that regardless. I'm not sure how old you are, but our bodies change naturally as we get older. Even if you were only in your ed for a few months, your body could have possibly changed anyways. 14/15 year old me would not have looked the same as I do now, even without the ed, because that's how our bodies work. I won't look the same in my mid 20s, either, and that's okay.
It seems like you're still practicing some ed behaviors out of fear, and let me tell you (as someone who did the exact same thing), it won't make anything better for you. Exercise in itself is beneficial to your body, but not when you're doing it in the way we do. Not eating enough and working out is only going to delay your recovery. If you can, maybe try to limit your exercise until you can practice it in a healthy way.
I know it's hard, but if I were you, I'd listen to the people around you, especially if they don't have eds or disordered eating. If they have a healthy relationship with food, they can look at you (like they're doing) and be able to tell you honestly that you're not eating enough. Try to trust them. Your eating disorder will tell you they're lying, but they're not. You can eat freely.
Unfortunately, sometimes feeling uncomfortable and disgusting is part of recovery. We've gotten used to the way our body looks when we're hurting it, and now that we're trying to get better, we may not look the same. I felt so hideous and gross for so long, but it does get better. This ask was sent a few months ago (and again, I'm so sorry), so I hope you're doing better now.
Your weight gain will eventually come to an end, once your body can trust you again and can hold on to the weight.
And again, unfortunately, you may have to replace your clothes. But as I mentioned earlier, they're just clothes. Even if they're some of your favorite things you own, you'll find new favorites. Please don't try to maintain your lower weight to fit into your clothes. It's just fabric, and the sizes are all a joke anyways.
I really hope you're doing well, and I apologize again for taking so long to answer this. Wishing you the best of luck in your recovery, anon. You can do this. <3
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! TW drug misuse, bad eating habits, disordered eating, body image, and weight mention under the read more !
i’m back to taking more than my prescribed dose of ativan again… i’m taking 5-7mg a day when i’m normally taking 1mg a day and then an extra as needed for anxiety. it’s not as bad as it has been before, last time i was taking 10-12mg a day and was completely out of it 24/7. i’m trying not to take more, and luckily i may be able to ride out this wave and slowly taper down again because i have a back up supply from after i got down to my prescription amount last time. my doctor prescribes me about three times the amount of a daily amount because it’s also for my anxiety attacks so i need my daily dose and extra for when i have an anxiety or panic attack.
i’m kinda lucky that i’m also on antibiotics right now because i got pretty sick recently and after two weeks i went to urgent care and they prescribed some for me and antibiotics tend to upset people’s stomachs so i can get around the fact that i lose my appetite when i take a lot of ativan by saying it’s just the antibiotics. i also don’t really mind that i’m not hungry because i’ve gained back 20lbs that i lost a couple months ago because we increased two of my antipsychotics recently. and those antipsychotics are seroquel and zyprexa which are BOTH known for weight gain and so much weight gain that they’re rarely prescribed together and the only reason i’m on both is because i’ve tried 9 different antipsychotics and a bunch more combinations of those 9 and this is the best solution for my symptoms.
so i gained a bunch of weight back that i tried really hard to lose and i’m also super hungry all the time. i don’t want to get bad with my ativan again, it got kinda scary last time it happened. i was so out of it that i walked into a wall and hurt my nose (fortunately didn’t break it) and i barely even registered the pain until i came down. but also i like that i’m not feeling hungry and maybe i can wait until i lose some of the weight before i go back to my prescription amount.
anyways just needed to get that off my chest without bothering anyone irl because the idea of telling my parents and having to go cold turkey on the ativan is terrifying and id rather just ride this wave until i’m able to go back down. i was able to last time and i think i can do it again. i don’t want to tell my psychiatrist because i have a week before thanksgiving break and then three weeks of school after that and then i’m done for the semester and will be on winter break and i DO NOT have time to do a PHP or IOP like my psychiatrist will probably want me to do so that my meds are monitored. i can do a three week PHP in december but until then i’m just gonna try and get through this on my own i guess
#drug tw#drugs tw#weight tw#weight talk#drug misuse tw#drug abuse tw#overdose tw#disordered eating tw#body image tw#meds tw#vent#- r
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CONTENT WARNING: this piece is about disordered eating [nothing very graphic, but mentions of some of the milder side effects of not eating well for a somewhat extended period of time] so please please take caution in reading
I honestly think Taichi may struggle with eating properly. Like, I can see him feeling super nervous during the middle of spring, because ‘oh jeez, summer is coming and I totally gained weight, I know I did, ah shit.,,’. He’d get worried about how he has a smaller frame compared to the other guys in Mankai, and especially the guys in his troupe. Like, Omi is huge. When he’s in a bad headspace, just standing up near Omi makes him feel so scrawny and pathetic. So he starts eating in a very unbalanced manner. While simultaneously trying to lose his ‘winter weight’ and gain muscle, Taichi starts skipping meals and doing strenuous workouts way more often than his body can handle. He starts sneaking into the kitchen late at night, trying to find something to stave off his hunger so he can sleep. He starts feeling dizzy and lightheaded multiple times a day. He can barely help Yuki sew anymore because his seams keep going crooked and he’s just too woozy and ‘God it's warm in here’ ‘Shit I'm freezing’ ‘Dude I’m fine I swear! (I feel sick)’ and he can't keep track of where the needle is going. Two and a half weeks of this. He feels terrible. Not only is his body struggling to keep up with his activities and schoolwork, he feels incredibly guilty for lying to everyone. Because, let's be real, some of the older members of Mankai know something is up with Taichi. Izumi can see that something is wrong, but she can't pinpoint exactly what. Kazu is worried about his peppy little bro seeming so wiped out at 3 in the afternoon. And Omi. Shit. It feels horrible lying to him. And smiling while lying to his face? Taichi feels nauseated every time he does it.
“I ate already!!”
“Oh don't worry, I had a big lunch, I’m just not hungry for dinner!”
“Haha, I’ll tell ya if I’m hungry Omimiiii!”
Three weeks. Three weeks of this. And Taichi is in the kitchen at 2 in the morning, with a sad little sandwich in his cold hand. And he stubs his toe.
And apparently that was the last fucking straw.
And he slides down the side of the countertop to curl up into himself on the floor. And he cries. And he cries. Juza was the first one who found Taichi curled up on the floor and got scared. Unsure of how to proceed, he gently laid his hand on the little boy’s shaking back. Opening his arms, allowing Taichi to lean in and be held, asked who he would be comfortable talking with. And now we have Omi and Izumi sitting on the couch with Taichi, comforting him and listening attentively as he tells them everything. No more lying. Never again. I promise. I'm so sorry. Omi and Izumi glanced at each other for a moment, and the two minds as one body, proceeded to reassure this kid in front of them. “Taichi, its ok”
“...what?”
“Listen to me, hey hey, look at me please? Taichi, listen please.”
“It's okay Nanao. I promise. We love you.”
“We care about you. I promise.”
“It’s alright.”
“It's okay.”
“We love you”
All Taichi can do is cry harder, cradled in Izumi and Omi’s arms, surrounded by the warmest reassurance he’s felt in a while. Omi and Izumi spend the next few hours calming Taichi down, re-assuring him that they’re here for him, that they still love him, that they’ll always love him. that they could never be mad at him for something like this. And Izumi chokes a little bit between ‘like’ and ‘this’. Someone in her care, god, a child in her care was hurting so bad and she couldn't help sooner? She could have helped with this one. She knew what it felt like to…no, she knows what it feels like, she, oh god, she knows and it’s bad. She’s tensed up to hell and back, she will not cry right now, this is not about her. but of course, Taichi notices. And he silently leans his forehead against her shoulder in assumed understanding. Omi notices and he keeps one hand on Taichi’s knee and one hand slides to the middle of Izumi’s back. Warm. Solid. Safe.
Tucked up on the couch like this, Taichi falls asleep first. Omi and Izumi can’t bring themselves to sleep yet though, and they both sit there for a little over an hour, in rapt contemplation of the boy between him, and the way he looked younger when he was asleep. There was a quiet comfort in how they both laid a hand each on Taichi’s back, in how Izumi’s hand tentatively searches for Omi’s behind the cushion between them, and how Omi gently catches it, and holds on to her, absolutely swept with a sense of fierce protectiveness, of reverence, and a sickening twist of fear and deep seated care for the two sleeping bodies next to him.
Misumi just so happened to wake up earliest that morning, having planned to cut up some triangle shaped fruits for Natsugumi’s picnic later that day. Yawing and wrapping his crochet blanket [courtesy of Yuki] to bunch up on his shoulders, he sleepily shuffled into the living room, walking to pull aside the curtains to let in some sunlight almost on autopilot, when he stopped in the middle of the carpet, standing stock still. Oh boy. Something deeeefinitely happened here. Something not very nice at all. As quiet as he could, Misumi tip-toed over to the couch, gently laying his blanket over Taichi and Omi, and slid off his hoodie to cover up Izumi. As darling as they looked, all cuddled up, Misumi’s heart absolutely ached seeing how desperately it seemed Taichi was clutching onto the hem of Omi’s shirt, how protectively the two adults had been sitting around Taichi. Putting aside the fruit for now, Misumi thought it best to put on a pot of water to make some black tea for the little group when they woke up. It’s what his grandfather did whenever Misumi was feeling all sad and run-down. While the water boiled he snuck around to the rooms of anyone he guessed could have been awake that early, Chikage and Itaru, Tasuku, Kazunari and Kumon, he even flagged down Kamekichi and asked him to keep the living room clear of any visitors till the trio woke up. Bustling around the kitchen, he couldnt help but softly giggle as he heard Taichi yawn and stretch out, one arm hanging off of the couch, and Misumi caught himself blushing a little as he turned around to see Omi [still half asleep], pulling Izumi closer, who, in turn, snuggled in, with her hand resting on the back of Taichi’s head. Pretty cute.
#THIS TOOK A WHILEEEEEE#this felt right to put down in text uk?#healing for my bones#i'm much much better w this stuff now tho!!!! its great :")#loving reminder to you all that eating is good and ok to do!!!! snacking is ok!!!!#have something to drink too while you're at it!!! hydration!!#anywayysssss tag time!#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#taichi nanao#a3! taichi nanao#a3! taichi#a3! izumi#izumi tachibana#a3! omi#omi fushimi#a3! misumi#misumi ikaruga#a3! mankai#cw disordered eating#[please please let me know if you want me to add a tag to this so you can filter it out if needed!!!!]#a3! hcs#akigumi
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