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#I’m so lucky to have this family
Answer
KAM. THANK YOU. I adore you too, my favourite Kiwi ❤️ seriously, this little cult has been a blessing to introduce us and it’s been so wonderful to be around you and listen to your amazing ideas and to find out how kind and sweet you are! I’m so happy we’re friends ❤️
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Answer
NIKKI I CANNOT. You are so kind and talented yourself my friend and even though it’s only been a month, maybe two, it’s been so wonderful getting to know you and messaging you and having a new member of our chaos family. I stan a fellow creator WHO IS SO TALENTED. ❤️❤️
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#vent time because i’m watching the snow fall and thinking a lot of thoughts#but also thinking nothing at all#i just wish universities would remember that we’re people#yeah like we’re students and we signed up for this blah blah but we’re also people and we’re also living through the pandemic#doing absolutely everything online is draining at the end of every day my eyes and head hurt#like we don’t get a break from it we can’t do anything to get a break from it we can’t do normal social activities or play sports to cope#with the stress and stuff ... and they still expect us to be 100% and have shown absolutely no compassion#i cant even physically go to uni i was supposed to go back this friday but more people keep getting covid in my accom so i can’t right go#back right now because my flat is gonna have to isolate#it’s just so draining#my mental health has been particularly suffering this lockdown#because well it’s winter and it’s also lockdown no.3#and it sucks and what makes it worse is that it sucks for everyone so it’s not like i can even be sad about it#i’m still very lucky and blessed that my family are okay and they’ve all had the vaccine#idk where i was going with this#i’m taking a mental health day tomorrow i mean i don’t have anything anyway so i was gonna just chill but i’m gonna try and take care of#myself so i can feel a bit more balanced#.txt
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#if the vaccine doesnt come asap for sure someone’s gonna get covid in my house lmao#we got lucky that everything was online in 2020 but just in february my mom and stepdad have to go full time back to work with these people#who travel by plane constantly. my brother will go abck to school and i’ll start school which means we went from full quarantine to full#contamination possibly 🤩#also my mom will definitely refuse to not let our close family come visit 24/7 so i’m def scared we’re contaminating everyone else.. so cool#anyways i think the first person to take the vaccine took it yesterday so. praying and hoping tht in a month we get it bc hoooo boy
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fun times
#ignore this i need to rant#i’m so fucking pissed and tired rn#so i tested positive for covid on monday but started getting symptoms last sunday (jan 3rd) and basically haven’t left my house since#have barely left my room in over a week only to go to the bathroom and get something to eat#i mean this was bound to happen sooner or later since my sister works with covid patients#and really i’m super lucky and *shouldn’t complain* since me and my family are all fine considering the circumstances#and i feel super grateful for that really i’m just so tired of being stuck in my room which is my least favourite place on earth#and here when you test positive a doctor will call you to tell you how long you have to be quarantined but it’s been almost 3 days and they#still haven’t called me and now it’s been 12 days since my symptoms started and like they are pretty much gone completely#so according to the government/ national institution that handles these things website i technically am free from covid#and allowed to leave quarantine but because they still haven’t called me i can’t to that#and i know it’s not the doctors fault but i’m just so tired of this and i can’t call the national health guidance number cus then i have to#stand in queue for forever and might miss my call from the doctor#i just want to buy groceries for my family and go for a walk with my friends but no i can’t to that even though i’m not sick anymore#and i know i sound like an ungrateful whiny brat but i’m just so sick of this#thank god i have bts music though i’ve gone through all of their like 15 korean albums multiple times these past 3 days while waiting for#the call
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I’m anxious *drinks an energy drink and coffee back to back and doesn’t get enough sleep*
#my family has like 0.42 cents in the bank#and I have so many things I need to do#but I literally am never home#I have deadlines#but every single fucking day this week I’ve been babysitting from 7 to 6#I’m home from like 7 pm to 6 am#that’s if I’m lucky#welcome to the shitshow
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Just finished binge watching Tiny Pretty Things and it wasn’t even good, I just needed to know who pushed her and now that I know, I’m left with who stabbed him and maybe I’ll get an answer in 2022? 😡
#I’m so mad at myself#but I’m also so bored#my family is quarantined yet again and this time I feel we might not be so lucky#everyone around us is getting sick#and we have been so careful#but still not enough#happy New Years I am so far not impressed
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Happy new year to you all ❤️❤️ in 2020 I got my mental health and self esteem back and I’ve been Depression Free™️ for the past 6 months and I’m improving everyday and that is what I wish to all of you struggling with a mental disorder, I hope 2021 is the year you finally heal and unlearn to hate yourself ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#yes it is possible#I feel like a coach lmfao but I promise it gets sooo much better#as long as you treat your mental illness as it is and go through with the treatment#obv not just that#I was very lucky to have a supporting family that knew what was better for me in a time I was clearly insane#so I know it’s way harder when you’re alone and have no one to care enough to take care of you#as it is when you have an illness and need help except that when it comes to a mental illness cos you think there’s no way out and no point#but keep in mind it is an illness and it is possible to cure yourself#anyway I’m rambling lol I just wish you guys find the strength to go through with your treatment and heal from your traumas#I’m rooting for you all ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Can’t wait to not get a stimulus check again 😍
#this country is garbage#one $1200 at the beginning of the pandemic and millions including me didn’t even get it when they were supposed to#disgusting#I’m lucky to have family support and be able to move back home#if I hadn’t tho I would have probably been houseless so that’s cool
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Some character comparisons
#synaelia and raelin: ?????? gender#sean and syl: healing people to their own detriment but trying not to let the other person know#raelin and lucky: fuck I’ve got so much magic and so little to do with it#Dravik and Rei: polite but also will stab you#barrow and will: big+strong+sweet+a little awkward and close to but not quite a parent friend#pom and valre: hm. I could do this facechanger thing with my family... or I could go do my own thing instead#Rij and lucky: short hair and >:3 but much more aggressive and they’re loud and their eyes are red (full or part time) and they like breakin#shit just for the hell of it and having a prosthetic eye and wlw and-#syn and pb and derrek: maybe if I just ignore this problem for long enough... it will go away...#Derrek and lucky: hm I’m distressed. time to go get into a fight#also Derrek and lucky: Fuck yeah! A bruise/scar!!!#pb and corvina: I think I’m going to ruin things on purpose and maybe improve some lives but be rude enough that they don’t realize I helped#karen and Ves: oops I adopted several people. this was not what I planned#Ves and Derrek and Geryon and Jon: please don’t call me a parent#Delila and gisli: I’m gonna heal you but you’re not gonna like me#character rambles#elysur#there’s more certainly but I only have so many tags and am worried I’m starting to run out lol
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It seems like for a lot of people and in media and such being closeted is constantly having to lie about being LGBT+ but like. If someone actually cared and was woke enough to ask me what my sexual/romantic/gender orientation was, I think it would end in me spilling every part of my questioning guts on the floor before them.
#I know I’m really lucky#To have a family and community that would accept this#So many people don’t have that#And I’m so so sorry
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god I love my mom. i was telling her how I didn’t vibe with my name anymore because its p feminine and she immediately started trying to rename me
#she suggested corduroy which i wasn’t expecting at all but DOES have energy#the rest of my family: smiles politely in the hopes I stop talking about being Queer#mom: do you want me to call your corduroy around the house to see if you like it?#i just. got so lucky#anyway if you see the name in my bio change its because I’m Indecisive#gator.txt
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