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#I’m sorry I don’t know how to properly tag trigger warnings
jagibee · 1 year
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Call Me Luna Info
Hello dear readers, Mari speaking!
I just wanted to lay down some basic info about my story so that things are clear
- This story will probably not include super explicit smut unless or until I become more comfortable writing it, but due to heavy discussion of sex and suggestive scenes, this is an 18+ work, so it please respect that and MDNI
- The reader has an AFAB body and uses she/her pronouns and I think at some point I will have her wear skirts/dresses, and I decided to divide SKZ in half in regards to how old everyone is compared to the reader for the purpose of honorifics, but I looped Hyunjin in with the younger half since they were born in the same year. I also might have a background for character motivation purposes, so just oc family members and their secondary genders. Other than that, I try to keep it pretty neutral including race, religion, etc. Unfortunately I am limited to my own experiences, so if you feel like I’m not keeping it neutral or I am portraying something incorrectly or problematically, feel free to say something!
- I have ADHD and will deadass forget this story exists unless I have people interacting with me, so please do!
- My chapters will probably be over 1,000 words but I’m really inconsistent other than that so good luck
- This isn’t meant to be an exact biography of Stray Kids obviously so I’m not putting pressure on them or forcing them to be together or anything, also they have less managers and choreographers and sound people just because I don’t really feel like including all of that
- I’ll update when I want
- This is my story, so if you don’t like it, you can just leave without reading anymore!
- This story will deal with physical, verbal, and psychological abuse, as well as slight substance abuse, eating disorders, and mental health issues so please don’t read this if any of these affect you negatively
- Again, I can only go off of my experience so the way the characters in this story deal with things is not meant to be the “correct way” and it may not be relatable to everyone
- If you guys have any theories or ideas for what will happen next, let me know! It’s fun to see how people interpret writing (and maybe I’ll get my next plot point idea😁)
- I really don’t know what direction this will take so I’ll be adding trigger warnings as needed for individual chapters, and if there’s something that I haven’t tagged properly, please tell me! I want everyone to have a good experience with this story
- This story will have cursing, that’s just the way I think and write (and I think we all know the kids curse off camera)
- When any character uses English, I’ll show it like “‘“this”’”
- I’m shit at titles so….. we’re doing chapter numbers, but I might add chapter names later
- Tag list is open! You can send in an ask or message me if you want in! My tumblr is a bit fucked up so I can’t really respond to replies, but I always add you even if I don’t answer
- However, being on my taglist and being able to read my work is ultimately up to me, so if you do or say something that I dislike, I have no problem with blocking you
- I am fine with comments like “can’t wait for the next chapter!” but if it’s something more like “when’s the next part😡” consider it an automatic block, sorry not sorry!
- Liking and reblogging are always appreciated!
- Really, just have fun, stay positive, and (hopefully) enjoy the ride!
Info Regarding ABO
- omegas have heats three times a year for 7-10 days
- alphas have ruts twice a year for 3-6 days
- betas have slips once a year for 4-5 days
- heats include abdomen cramping, change of the omega’s scent, a need to nest, slick, and horniness for most
- heat suppressants are common, they don’t completely take away everything, there is still usually mild cramping, change of the omega’s scent and a need to nest, though they are pretty moderate
- ruts include a stronger scent of the alpha, possessiveness, need to mark their partner or partners, aggression, headaches, and horniness for most
- rut suppressants aren’t nearly as common as heat suppressants but they can tone down a rut to only include headaches, slightly stronger scent, and a bit of aggression
- slips include betas getting a stronger sense of smell and touch and they become very sensitive both physically and emotionally
- slip suppressants are very rare and only tone down a slip by about 20% while making the beta emotionally numb so many don’t like taking suppressants even when they have access
- there are no specific alpha scents or beta scents or omega scents, but in this universe, people can still identify someone’s secondary gender based on their scent
- scent glands are on the wrists and neck but if you put blockers on the neck, the body automatically stops releasing scents from the wrist gland
- scent blockers also lessen the wearer’s sense of smell
- wrist to wrist scentings are for acquaintances, neck to wrists are for good friends, and neck to necks are basically the equivalent of saying “I want you in my life forever” which can be platonic, familial, or romantic
And now onto the masterlist!
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littlexscarletxwitch · 11 months
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── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗷𝗼𝗯, 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹
paring: yelena belova x fem!reader
tag(s): fluff, short blurb, sfw (despite the second intentions of the title lol)
warning(s): yelena being a hottie (?), mentions of using a gun, mentions of using a knife (nothing explicit tho), not proofread, unedited.
word count: 0.3k
note: HELLO, LITTLE STARSHINES. I'm sooo sorry I haven't been posting anything at all. And I'm also sorry that this is not the fic that I was supposed to post, but lately I've been lacking motivation to write and then this little fic came to my brain and it just happened. Also, for the russian words, I used google translator and my knowledge from reading fanfiction, so please correct me if I'm wrong. (I wanna learn russian so bad). Hopefully y'all will like it. I'm not an english native speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake <3
requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3
⇨ Detka: baby - Moya lyubov: my love - Malyshka: little girl
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You felt your fingers wrapped tightly around the cold metal, sending shivers down your spine. 
“Okay, that’s good. Just relax a bit, detka,” you felt Yelena’s hot breath in your ear. 
You shook your head, trying to shake all the butterflies away in your stomach because of her closeness. She was right behind you, her head on your shoulder, her hands on top of yours adjusting them properly around the gun you were holding. 
“The trick for a perfect aim is practice, of course. But it also helps if you imagine someone you strongly dislike as the bullseye,” you chuckled, feeling your body relaxing a bit. “I’m serious, Y/n. It really helps.”
“But I don’t hate anyone.”
“Yeah, I figure. You are way too pure to hate anyone,” she kissed your left cheek, you felt your skin getting warmer under her soft lips. “Okay, just take a deep breath,” you did as you were told. “Close your eyes and let your body relax, focus on your breathing.”
You breathed in through your nose and out through your mouth, feeling your heartbeat getting back to its regular rate. 
“Okay, that’s good, moya lyubov',” you felt her hands on your stomach as she felt your breathing. “Once you are ready, just take the shot.”
You opened your eyes, determined for the bullet to hit the tin a few meters away from you. You closed your right eye, trying to aim for it, and pulled the trigger. 
“Wow, that’s impressive,” you heard Yelena chuckling behind you as she looked at the hole in the tin. “Good job, pretty girl,” she took the gun from your hands and placed a kiss on your forehead. You closed your eyes, and leaned into her touch, wrapping your arms around her. 
You rested your head on her chest, breathing in her scent, feeling comfort in it. She smelled like fresh rain and the woods around the two of you, you could also smell the faint bourbon on her lips. 
“Can you teach me how to use a knife next?” you looked up at her, mischief filling your eyes. 
“Yeah, sure. Anything you want, malyshka.”
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Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3
-M
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pandoraslxna · 1 year
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Aging up characters and questionable content
Theres a lot of drama going on in the avatar fandom and I just wanted to elaborate my opinion on this, since it affects me and my works too.
I‘m trying to be as respectful as possible and chose my words wisely because I really don’t want to get canceled or upset people.
First of all, I just want to make it clear that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, especially about sensitive topics like these and I fully respect that!
I have a few mutuals and I also follow a handful of other great authors who consider aging up minor characters as questionable and that’s absolutely fine with me. As long as you don’t treat me as less than a human, you will always have my full respect. I‘m always trying to be friendly to everyone and I obviously still support your works, even if we don’t share the same opinion on this.
I also don’t force them or literally anyone to consume my content and I know that some of my mutuals (probably most) only follow me for my fics about characters that are canonly adults (Jake, Quaritch, Tonowari, etc…) and I don’t mind that either.
I do my best to make sure that my fics are tagged properly, that I use the correct content warnings and also the 'read more' option, so everyone who’s not interested in certain posts can simply ignore them. I’m also always up for constructive criticism and please don’t hesitate to let me know if I didn’t include any important warnings on my fics or if there are any triggers that I forgot to mention.
What I’m trying to say is: I appreciate if people just scroll past content they’re not interested in. If I can do it, you can do too. No matter how questionable some fics may be, nobody is forcing you to consume them. As long as the author tags their fics properly, of course!
Which is why I‘m also speaking up to every author out there: tag your fic properly! Make sure people can avoid your works if they contain anything that could be triggering– that goes from soft to explicit smut, to non-con, to dub-con and to literally any kinks, AU’s and tropes there are. Give your readers a warning beforehand, so they know what they’re about to consume. And please, please, please make sure to use the 'read more' option on tumblr (this is very important to me personally too)! And if someone points out that there are warnings or tags missing on your fics, please appreciate that they’re reaching out to you, I‘m sure their intentions were good. It really doesn’t hurt to include some more tags, even if they seem 'unnecessary' to you -> better safe than sorry!
Just be mindful of each other and treat everyone with respect, so we can all avoid any unwanted and most of all unnecessary drama and enjoy this fandom together.
Now, back to the main topic of this post:
I personally don’t view this type of content (or myself) as predatory or necessarily wrong, just because the characters are aged up. I‘m fully aware that sexualizing minors is wrong and it’s not my intention to create sexual scenarios about underage characters! To me, this is all just fiction. They’re not real. They’re literally blue aliens lol. I also consume and produce dark content like non-con and even stepcest au‘s, but that is something I would never ever support or want to experience in real life!!! I really can’t stress this enough, this is just fictional to me. And just because I age up characters or think they’re attractive in the movie, doesn’t mean I’m attracted to minors in real life. (I‘m not even attracted to guys that are only a year younger than me…)
I‘m also not aging them up to make myself feel better or because I think it makes the whole situation morally right, I’m aging them up because I’m only attracted to guys that are my age (or even older), which is basically the complete opposite of a pedophile as far as I know (?). I really hope that somehow makes sense and I’m not digging my own grave here…
However, I really can’t say this enough: I am absolutely fine that people have different opinions about that and if you’re following me and I ever post something that makes you uncomfortable, even if we’re mutuals/friends, you can unfollow or block me! I just want people to be comfortable on my blog and don’t force anyone to see content that is triggering to them or goes against their believes.
What I don’t support however, is people making fun of others publicly. Talk however you want about my work in private, idc. You can send me a DM if you want to say something, but please don’t encourage others to make fun of me, my works or others.
If you ever accidentally read something, because let’s say the author didn’t mention certain kinks / tropes or literal anything that’s triggering to you beforehand— reach out to them in private. And authors on the other hand, should be mindful of the content that they create and give people the option to avoid them. But please don’t cause public drama, don’t cause a literal witch-hunt. Online bullying can really fuck up peoples lives and mental health.
I think most drama could’ve been avoided if people were just more respectful towards one another and would handle things in private.
I really really hope that I chose the right words for this, as someone who’s not fluent in english it can be so hard to defend myself or get my point across lol
Last but not least, I just want to say thank you, especially to all my mutuals who continue to be respectful towards me, even if they have other opinions regarding the aging up of characters and all that. I‘m just glad that you’re here and chose to enjoy my other works instead. ❤️
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littlespacereader · 2 months
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@dino-boyo-agere gave me such a wonderful Supernatural request that I literally had to break it up into two parts because I realized I was writing such a long story!😂 I promise your request is going to be the part 2 of this story because I feel the questions you asked in your request are better answered in the second part.
I decided to write something a little different for me. It’s not my standard comfort agere fic but I’m really proud of the interesting story that plays out here. There some LGBTQ+ acceptance, there’s some fun dialogue and there’s even a cliffhanger! You don’t need to read the other fics to understand this one, but if you’d like to here’s the first one in my mini series, and here’s the second one.
Please everyone enjoy the part one of this adorable Supernatural Age Regression fic! But please be warned with the trigger warnings below!
The Little Hunt Begins
(Part 1)
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Little!Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
TW - the reason why there is no SFW tag is because of usual supernatural violence, language & kidnapping at the end. (Don’t worry this is resolved in part 2) Please be warned if this isn’t your speed!
Tags - hiding regression, diapers, thumb sucking, CG Castiel, LGBTQ+ confessions, brotherly acceptance!, cliffhanger ending, sorry not sorry, told by Dean’s POV,
Nickname - Sammy, ‘ammy
Click here for Part 2
The past few months have been the most peaceful months Dean’s had in years. With Castiel as his Caregiver, he’s been regressing regularly in the bunker with Castiel watching over him.
His peace would’ve continued if it hadn’t been for Sam finding a new hunt for the two of them. He doesn’t blame his brother, they have been inching to get out of the bunker for a while now.
But the thing is, it’s been a while since they had a hunt with Dean’s new regression schedule. The whole idea made him nervous, very nervous.
Dean paced back and forth in his room while Castiel sat on his bed.
“Why can’t you just let me ask Sam to join?” Cas asked.
“Because it will look suspicious! He’s already been questioning why the two of us are always together. I just…” Dean sat on the bed beside Cas, “I just don’t want him to know.”
Cas sighed, wrapping his arm around Dean, “You know, Sam might understand if you just take the time to explain it to him. With everything you’ve been through he might understand your need for regression.”
“No, NO! He can’t know Cas. He can’t.” Dean shook his head. “He wouldn’t understand.”
“I don’t think you’re giving Sam enough credit. I think if you took the time to properly explain it he would understand.” Cas countered but Dean wasn’t listening.
He turned his body towards Cas, hiding his face in his shoulder. His arms wrapped Castiel’s neck. “He can’t know…I don’t want him to.”
Castiel sighed but nodded his head. His arms wrapped around Dean, holding his Little close. “Then he won’t know.”
“I’m just…scared. I don’t want to regress around him.” It was hard for Dean to admit it. After all, how many hunts has be done before Castiel found out about his regression? But now, without Castiel joining him, he felt vulnerable.
“You know that just in case you do all you have to do is call on me and I’ll be right there.” Cas started to explain, “But, I do have a plan that’s going to help you through this hunt.”
That got Dean to lift his head off Cas’ shoulder and look at him intrigued.
~~~
With a long goodbye to Cas, Dean joined Sam in the garage and the two took off to their hunt, miles away.
The car ride was quiet for the most part. Dean blasted his music while Sam played on his phone. But then the silence was broken.
“What’s been going on with you and Cas?”
Dean almost swerved the car.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re always hanging out together. Like more than usual. Are you guys…um…”
“What Sammy? Spit it out.” Dean sighed.
“Are you guys a couple?” Sam asked.
Now that short circuited Dean’s brain all together. Here’s him worried about Sam finding out about his regression that the thought of this looking as if they were dating didn’t even cross his mind.
But now that he was thinking about it, he did like Cas. He’s a great Caregiver and he’s always been so kind to Dean even outside his regression. What if they were something more than just Caregiver and Regressor?
These are thoughts for another day when he isn’t so stressed about this stupid hunt!
A small blush started to creep onto Dean’s cheeks at the thoughts circling his brain.
“What? No. No we aren’t a couple.” Dean tried to say as cool as usual.
“Really? Because you seen all flustered at the thought of it.” Sam chuckled.
“No we aren’t dating Sammy. I would’ve told you if we were.”
There was silence in the car again until another question popped up.
“But you like Castiel?”
Dean’s heart dropped. Of course he liked Castiel. He meant everything to his little side. But he always meant everything to him outside of his regression. But this question wasn’t meant for that answer…but Dean still answered it.
“I mean…I don’t know, maybe. Would that be so wrong?” Dean asked with s pounding heart.
Sam shook his head, “No dude that wouldn’t be wrong at all. I mean if you like Cas that much maybe you should ask him.”
Relief filled Dean’s soul. Even though it wasn’t relief to his stresses about his regression, it was relief that his brother, despite everything, still loved and accepted Dean for who he was.
“Maybe I will, maybe I will.” Dean smirked. “What about you? Anyone on your radar?”
Now it was Sam’s turn to turn pink, “What? No. No, there’s no one on my radar.”
“I don’t know, I hear you always on the phone with someone. Maybe they’re a special someone?”
“Yeah you wish.” Sam chuckled.
“More like you wish.” Dean chuckled back. “Come oooooooooonnnnnnnnn, who are they?”
Sam smiled as his face got more pink. But he looked a little nervous at the admission, “He’s…um…he’s unexpectedly really kind.”
“He?” Dean laughed, “Would you look at us Sammy?” He laughed. Sam laughed too. Would you look at them. Both perfectly accepted for who they were.
“Just make sure whoever this he is knows that if he hurts you I’ll kill him.”
Sam chuckled, “Yeah? Okay Dean.” He rolled his eyes playfully.
“I’m not kidding I will! This guy better watch out.” Dean added trying his best to be intimidating.
~~~
Castiel’s plan was simply yet perfect for Dean. Dean’s biggest fear is regressing in his sleep and waking up to a wet bed. The solution? He secretly wears his usual diapers to bed.
But how will he get around Sam seeing?
Well every night he’ll take a shower and hide the diaper his pajamas. After he’s showered he’ll change into a diaper and just hop into bed, go straight under the covers and avoiding Sam’s detection all together.
Then in the morning he’ll wake up early, get changed while Sam sleeps and throw the wet diaper away.
It’s a fool proof plan Cas came up with!
They traveled all day and settled into their hotel for the night. Sam sat at the hotel’s table and researched away the case.
“Apparently there’s been a lot of mysteries happening to couples in the area dating back to the 1600s. Most called it witchcraft.” Sam explained.
Dean sighed, “So we’re dealing with witches?”
“Sounds like it.” Sam sighed back closing his computer before getting up to flop into his hotel bed.
Dean took it as his que to get ready for bed. With shaking hands he grabbed his pajamas with the diaper hidden inside and stood up.
“You need the bathroom before I shower?”
“Ummmm, no. No, you’re all good. Thanks.” Sam replied before turned his attention back to his phone.
Dean nodded before slipping inside. With the door shut behind him, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
After a shower and a quick change, Dean was shaking from nerves…again. With his diaper on under his clothes he feared the couple of steps from bathroom to bed would scream to Sam that he was wearing a diaper.
But it didn’t. Dean carefully made his way back to his bed and under the covers before Sam has even realized he left the bathroom.
When he did realize, Sam got up to use the bathroom himself. When he returned he turned off the light and wish his brother a good night before heading off to bed himself.
The plan worked!! Dean turned to his side and closed his eyes. Castiel’s plan had worked! Sam never said or suspected a thing!
“Thank you Cas.” Dean called out silently to the Angel.
A warm and calm presence wrapped around Dean, causing him to know the Angel got his message. His eyes slipped close as he felt safe enough to fall asleep.
~~~
The plan was fool proof. As the next day arrived Sam never got suspicious of Dean and his diaper.
They went out and talked to the police as they began their investigation of the murders. Then spent the rest of the day in the local library looking into the historical records.
“There,” Sam pointed out, “There’s a florist down the road from here that used to be the home of a famous witch’s house before she was evicted and well…” he trailed off.
“My guess is if they’re here, that’s where they would be hiding out.”
Dean yawned before patting Sam back, “Good work Sammy!”
He looked up at the clock in the library. It was too late to go today, this would have to be a mission for tomorrow. “Come on, let’s call it a day. We’ll go tomorrow.”
Sam nodded, rubbing his tired eyes, “Yeah that’s a good idea.”
~~~
After eating some take out, both Winchester were exhausted after a long day of working and researching. Both laid on their respective beds absolutely tired.
Dean didn’t feel like a shower tonight, too exhausted to pull himself into the shower and back into bed. But he did need to get changed discreetly. So he grabbed his pajamas, hidden diaper and tooth brush and went into the bathroom.
Dean changed for the night and was beginning to brush his teeth. He wasn’t in there long, maybe about 10 minutes when there was a frantic knock at the bathroom door.
“Dean…a-are you going to be long?” Sam asked with a worried tone to his voice.
“No, why what’s the-.” Dean opened the bathroom door, tooth brush still in mouth when he was ripped out of the bathroom by Sam. He promptly slammed the door in Dean’s face.
Dean stood there, a bit taken back. A thousand thoughts ran through his head as to what happened to his brother, but one image stayed in his mind. Sam was holding himself, as if he was about to have an accident.
Dean was sure he saw it, a move he himself had done on occasion when he was so deep into his little headspace he almost forgot to go potty. Could Sam be…What?! No. No! Well…maybe?
With a thousand thoughts running through his head, Dean took a seat on his bed and continued to brush his teeth. Eventually Sam walked out of the bathroom, face red as an apple and avoiding Dean’s eyes.
Dean went to the bathroom himself, spit out his tooth paste and slipped back into his bed. Sam seemed as though he wanted to go right back to bed and avoid everything all together, but Dean on the other hand want to ask him questions.
“You okay Sammy?”
“Yeah! Yeah, I just…I just really needed to go pot-…really needed to go pee. That’s all.” Sam explained, face red as ever. “You were in there forever!”
“I was not!”
“You were too!”
“I was maybe in there for 5 minutes!” Dean complained.
“No! You were in there for wayyyyy longer. I was dying out here.”
Dean wanted to ask and say so much more, but he could see the topic easy really starting to get to Sam who was gripping his blanket to the point of almost ripping it.
“Alright, alright maybe I was in there for too long. I’m sorry. I just…I just wanted to ask because I’m was worried maybe you were feeling sick or something.” Dean asked, starting to sound sincere.
Sam’s grip on the blanket ceased when he heard Dean’s honest answer. “I’m fine Dean. Like I said…just had to go pee.”
“Okay, I was just worried. Good night Sammy. Sleep well.”
“You too Dean.” Sam added before turning over and going to sleep.
Dean turns over as well and tried to go to sleep but his mind races with a thousand possibilities, one of them being Sam as another Little just like him.
~~~
Dean slept past his alarm and woke up a lot later than he wanted. He remembered hearing Sam on the phone with someone then the sound of the hotel room door closing.
His eyes fluttered open as he moved his thumb from his mouth to rub his tired eyes. WAIT. Dean sat up and moved his thumb far away from his mouth, wiping his face on his sleeve of any remaining drool.
He looked around frantically but thankfully his brother was out. He didn’t see Sam meaning Sam maybe didn’t see him sucking his thumb.
Dean sighed. He just wanted this case to be over so he could just go back to cuddling with Castiel and watch Scooby Doo.
But maybe they could wrap this case up today or tomorrow, then the idea of being with his Caregiver wasn’t such a far off idea.
Dean pulled himself out of bed and quickly got changed before Sam came back to the hotel room. In his hands were two plastic bags from the supermarket.
“Where have you been?” Dean asked.
“Good morning to you to sleeping beauty.” Sam joked quickly stashing one of the bags by his stuff before setting the other on the table. “I just had to grab something at the store for myself but I was kind enough to get us breakfast too.”
Sam threw Dean a box onto the bed he was sitting on. Dean leaned forward and grabbed the box, looking back up at Sam like he was crazy.
“What hell is this?”
“What do you mean?”
Dean help up the box of granola bars, “This is breakfast?”
“What? I always eat those for breakfast?”
“That’s because you’re 80. I can’t eat this! I need a real breakfast!” Dean could hear the twinge of his littler self in his voice.
“Come on dude, really?” Sam sighed.
Dean crossed his arms, “Really. I don’t want to eat this…this healthy stuff.” He felt the urge to stomp his foot but quickly stopped himself.
He uncrossed his arms and cleared his throat and tried to push his little headspace down, “Come on, let’s go get some real food. My treat.”
“I’ll umm….I’ll meet you there, I just need to go to the bathroom real fast and get changed…into my suit! For the case of course.” Sam tried to right away convince. But Dean could sense there was something more.
But he didn’t question it. He just took the que right away, “Don’t take too long, I’m starving. Meet you at the car.” He smile to try and reassure his brother before grabbing his keys and exiting the hotel room.
~~~
They never talked about it. Not at the breakfast diner nor at the drive to the florist. It didn’t stop Dean from having a million thoughts about what was happening.
It wasn’t his business, he knew it wasn’t. He asked Sam if he was okay, and he said he was. That was as far as he wanted to get into. But it was hard to stop himself from the thousand of possibilities running through his mind, mostly his brother being a Regressor like him.
But they had a case to get back to! So with stomachs full of pancakes they were in search of the witch florist! There was just one issue…the address they had was wrong.
So they drove, and drove, and drove around the town in search of this damn florist! Finally after a hour of driving around this stupid town they found the florist hidden away off the main road.
When the two walked through the door, the smell of the flowers practically smacked them in the face. Immediately both were taken back by the intensity.
“Boys! Welcome!” A woman at the counter welcomed them. “What brings you in today? Looking to get something for your girlfriends?” She should only know.
Sam walked around the flower shop while Dean walked to the counter, “I’m agent Graham and he’s agent Mobius. We’re investigating the murders of Julia and Andrews. The police told us they visited here before they were found well…”
“I heard. Oh it was terrible what happened to that lovely couple. They were so young and vibrant. It’s a shame really.”
“What were they in for?”
“Well, they seemed to be having some relationship issues. Apparently he never bought her any flowers. So she dragged him in here to get her some.”
“What flowers did they get?”
“Oh they got these ones over here.” The older woman led the way through the florist shop. Dean nodded his head to Sam to check the back while he walked with the older woman to another part of the story. He nodded back and went to it.
Dean followed the older woman as she made her way through the store. The store was loaded with different flowers, all different colors, sizes and scents. It was starting to get to him a bit. He felt dizzy.
“How long have you guys been here?” He asked.
“Oh, for many many years child.”
Child? That’s a strange nickname. But she’s old…old people have strange nicknames he guesses.
“Here we are. They ordered these.” She pulled a white flower out from a bundle and handed it to him. “They’re in season right now, take a whiff.”
Dean looked at the flower then looked at her. He needed to buy Sam some time anyway, plus what was one extra flower when he was smelling all of them since he entered the damn place. He brought the flower close and took a whiff.
Suddenly it was as if smell had punched him in the gut. He gasped and dropped the flower as he felt himself quickly being thrown into his little headspace without any control.
“What the hell was that?!” He backed up.
“Such big language for such a young boy like yourself. You hunters really should be more careful considering your headspaces.”
Dean could feel himself not only regressing but getting really tired really fast. He needed to get Sam and they needed to get out of here NOW.
He started to backtrack but he wasn’t as coordinated as he was before. He swayed from one wall to the other, trying to get to where Sam was.
“Sammy!!”
“Oh I’m sure your brother is being taken good care of.” He heard the older woman call out from behind.
He was moving more slowly, his eyes drooping and his regression taking hold. Tears fell from his eyes. “S-S- ‘ammy!” He wanted his brother! He would protect him. He would save him from this lady! He’s always so smart and he always has a good plan!
But before Dean could reach him fell to the ground, his head swirling. He look to the side and there was his brother, sound asleep on the floor just a little away from him.
“ ‘ammy.” Dean muttered, reaching his arm out to his brother before his eyes rolled back. He fell into a deep sleep as he longed for his stuffies, his toys, his sippy cup and most of all his Angel.
(AN- Oh no! Our boys are in peril! Don’t worry I’m currently writing part 2 while you’re reading this. Let me know how you enjoyed this change of fic writing. It’s a little darker than what I normally write but I kind of like the change a bit! I’ve got a darker moon knight fic in mind too. Let me know if you’d read something like that too. But back to this fic…what’s going on with Sam👀 Who’s he on the phone with all the time?👀 What’s up with that? All shall be revealed in part 2 with is from Sam’s POV. Stay tuned!)
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kpopimaginings · 2 years
Text
Stray Kids Reaction (Hyung Line) - Finding you after/during an attempt
TRIGGER WARNING: Do not read any further if you may be triggered by stories about suicide, mental health, depression, anxiety. (If there are any TW tags that you have blocked and I haven’t used, tell me! I will add them)
I would also like to make it clear that in none of scenarios is what happens actually because of the members. It is written from their perspectives where they may blame themselves, but that is not how depression normally works.
A/N: Me and my friend wrote this as a sort of therapy for ourselves. I had a panic attack and was then crying to which they responded ‘What would Bang Chan do if he saw you like this?’ (guess who my bias is) and from there things spiralled!
Hyung line: Part 1 - Part 2
Maknae line: Part 1 - Part 2
There will be a part two (which could also stand alone) of the super fluff that happens when he can properly talk to you/take care of you after.
Bang Chan
Chan was in his studio getting ready to go live for his Stays when he noticed his phone ping.
Will you be long? read the text you had sent.
He was quick to respond, I'll be as quick as I can for you 😘
With Chan's busy idol schedule it felt like you two hadn't seen each other in ages and were definitely due a catch up.
Sticking his phone on silent so it wouldn't interrupt his stream he turned on his camera.
Things were going as normal, him happily joking around with Stay and them recommending songs for each other, when about halfway through Chan noticed a worrying comment from one of the fans watching. He was quick to pick up on it and check in, asking if they were ok and ending up hosting an impromptu group therapy session for himself and Stay.
It wasn't until he had finished hugging Stay goodbye that he realised just how long he had actually been live for. His next thought was of you and the text you had sent, prompting him to pull out his phone and give you a call. A call that went unanswered.
He quickly dashed about gathering everything he needed to head to yours, trying you again as he left the door. Again, there was no response. He could feel himself starting to panic now. You were the one who had initiated things before his live, so he really didn't think you would have plans, but why else wouldn't you be answering? As he drove over, he kept trying to convince himself you were either asleep or mad at him for over running his live. Surely, he was going to arrive to your pouty face complaining that it had taken him so long to get to you. Right?
Fumbling with the key as he tried to slot it into the lock on your door he cursed himself under his breath.
"She'll be fine," he muttered. "You're overreacting. She'll be fine." He repeated the last sentence as a mantra in his mind as if saying it enough times would make it true.
Once he'd finally gained enough physical control to open your door, he rushed in, calling out your name as he tripped over the step of your threshold.
Silence.
"Baby?" he called out reaching the stairs. "I'm sorry I was late. I know I'm a terrible boyfriend, please don't give me the silent treatment."
It was suspiciously dark upstairs, the only light coming from underneath the bathroom door. Without thinking, he swung open the door.
"Baby, why-" Bang Chan cut himself off as he noticed the half-consumed pill bottle in your hand, realising what must have happened.
You froze, staring at your boyfriend's terrified expression. Realisation spread across your face as Bang Chan's presence pulled you back to reality. As tears started to pool in your eyes, you tried to form the words for an apology.
Before you can actually say anything, Chan is right beside you, knocking the remaining pills from your hand to clatter on the tiled floor.
In one swift movement, one arm is around your shoulders, causing you to hunch over as he proceeded to jam the fingers of his other hand into your mouth and down your throat, forcing you to bring up the pills you had tried to overdose on. Once he felt you had brought up enough, he sunk to the floor with you in his arms.
He continued to hold you close with one arm while pulling out his phone to call for an ambulance. As you sat in the bathroom together waiting for the ambulance to arrive, his grip on you only tightened. With one hand running through your hair and the other keeping you cradled into his chest he muttered apologies and affirmations of love to you over and over, barely audible over the tears you were now both shedding.
If only he could turn back time and finish that damn live sooner. You needed him, he wasn't there for you, and he nearly lost you.
Lee Know
Lee Know had recently got a copy of your key and was super excited to get to use it and surprise you with a visit. It had been a while since the two of you had properly spent time together, so he was looking forward to spending a calm evening in with you between his hectic idol schedule.
Happy with how easily he got through your front door, he neatly left his shoes in the entryway before venturing through to the living room.
"Surprise," he called as he approached. "Y/N?" he added when there was no response. "It's your wonderful, amazing boyfriend."
Swinging the door open, the wide smile was wiped from his face in an instant.
Before he had consciously registered the scene in front of him, he was beside you, ripping a hole in the plastic bag covering your face. Once you were free of the obstruction, he leant in close to check if you were breathing. When there was no sign of life, he wasted no time in moving you into the correct position for CPR, thanking God that he had paid attention to all those first aid videos Chan was always getting him to watch. Whipping his phone out, he called 112 leaving it beside him on speaker as he started chest compressions.
As the operator answered all they heard was Lee Know counting to himself.
"6, 7, 8," he continued, not realising the call had been answered.
"112, what's the nature of your emergency?" the voice at the other end asked.
Surprising himself with how calmly he responded he gave your address, informing them that you were not breathing when he found you.
"Ok, there's an ambulance 5 minutes from your location," the equally calm operator informed him, before praising him and helping him count through the compressions.
Once they got to 30, he was instructed to stop, tilt your head back and pinch your nose as he administered 2 rescue breaths. However, he barely registered the instructions, watching for your chest to rise with each of his breaths.
Returning to chest compressions, he'd counted as far as five when a crack from your side made him wince, his heart dropping as he forced himself to keep counting.
"It's ok," came a reassuring voice from the phone lying beside you. "Good compressions can do that, you're doing an amazing job for them. Keep it up, the ambulance is 3 minutes out."
Time slipped away from him as he continued counting out 30 compressions followed by two rescue breaths repeatedly. His voice fading out as he tired, putting all of his energy towards saving you.
A sudden banging at the front door momentarily pulled his undivided attention from you. "Shibal," he muttered, remembering that the door will have locked itself behind him.
"The ambulance has arrived," the operator spoke. "Is there someone who can open the door?"
"Just me," he lamented. "Ah, the spare key! It's in the hanging basket. Please hurry.
"I'm so sorry," he muttered to you as regret over the wasted time filled his eyes with tears. Lee Know could tell he was at the end of his tether as everything caught up to him, both the physical exertion of administering CPR and the mental trauma of finding the love of his life in this position.
Continued praise and assurance came through the phone until the paramedics were beside him. One knelt immediately, moving their hands towards your chest.
"Great job, I've got it from here," they assured your exhausted boyfriend.
It took a gentle tap from the paramedic to snap Lee Know out of his focussed state, at which point he slumped backwards, his eyes never leaving you. Panting for breath, he could only watch helplessly as an oxygen mask was placed over your face and the other paramedic began attaching the defibrillator to your chest.
No longer able to actively help you, the stress and panic caught up to him and the tears began to pour from Lee Know's eyes. All he could do now was sit and pray for the moment the machine would declare a stable heartbeat. Terrified he hadn't done enough to save you.
(A/N: In case you ever need to use it, this was written by two trained First Aiders, the CPR technique here is what First Aid and Paramedics here in the UK are taught. If you don’t want to administer rescue breaths, you can just do compressions, but chance of survival is higher with the breaths.)
Changbin
​It had been the most perfect day. When Changbin had told you he was going to cheer you up he had really meant it. Being aware of your diagnosis, and having sensed a recent dip in your mood, he had pulled out all the stops to give you at least one day's respite from the relentless torment you brain was putting you through.
The perfection began with a ring of your doorbell. Pulling the door open, you were greeted by your boyfriend's pouty smile shining through a bunch of your favourite flowers.
"Huh, I was expecting my boyfriend, but all I see is some floating flowers."
Binnie flushed, dropping the aegyo slightly as he glanced down at your compliment before confidently puffing out his chest.
"Suprise, he's right here," he said, lowering the flowers as he pecked your cheek. "You look even more beautiful than this measly bunch though."
It was your turn to be flustered now, taking the opportunity to hide by putting on your shoes.
"Where are we going then?" you say in an attempt to change the subject.
"Everywhere," Changbin announced with a cheeky grin.
You sighed and rolled your eyes, before quickly grabbing the flowers from him and running to pop them in water.
"You're really not going to tell me?" you called out as he waited for you by the door.
"You'll see when we get there."
"Stating the obvious, but ok," you sassed as you returned to him.
"Ready?" he asked, offering you his arm.
"Of course," you replied, hooking your arm through his.
As the two of ventured out, you remembered thinking to yourself that by now you really should have known better than to underestimate your boyfriend. When he said you were going everywhere he really meant it. You started at the aquarium, the pair of you naming some of the fish and inventing little sitcom-esque scenarios for them.
From there he led you to the bubble tea place you'd been talking about visiting for ages. Then round the corner to your favourite food stall, where you delighted in feeding each other ssambap.
"Yah," he shouted at you when you began to close a meatless wrap.
"What?" you asked, innocently.
"Surely I've not fallen in love with someone as cruel as Han!"
You froze for a moment. "Fallen in love?"
"I thought you knew that," he replied. "I don't plan elaborate dates for just anyone."
You couldn't help but smile at his words, before adding some meat to the food parcel in your hands and feeding it to your boyfriend.
He then took you shopping, eventually confiscating your card when you tried to pay for your own things one too many times. Complaining that all he wanted to do was treat his partner and you were making it much harder than it should be. You could tell he was so proud to be able buy whatever you wanted so you conceded, starting to deliberately pick up cheaper items. Until he led you to a very expensive jewellery store.
"Binnie, don't waste your money on me," you pleaded.
He stopped, turning to you and taking your face in his hands. "You are not a waste of money," he told you, carefully and deliberately.
You just nodded and allowed him to disappear for a moment, presumably to pick something out for you. When he returned, apparently empty handed, you dropped the subject and allowed him to take you home.
As you entered your house, you turned to your boyfriend.
"Thank you, Binnie," you told him, smiling a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.
"Hey, you ok?" he asked.
"Yeah, this was perfect, I just don't want it to end."
"Me neither," he agreed, leaning into kiss you.
You placed a hand on the back of his neck, holding him close for a moment longer, savouring the love you felt in his touch.
"See you soon," he smiled pulling away.
"I love you," you replied with a little wave slowly closing the door.
"Love you, too," Changbin replied, refusing to turn away until the door had closed completely.
Binnie was halfway back to his place when he realised his mistake. The surprise gift he bought you.
"Yah pabo," he mumbled to himself, "You forgot the highlight of the day!"
He turned around and rushed back to yours, today had to be completely perfect and, of course, he'd mess up the best part. At least it meant he'd get to see you again today. He chuckled to himself. How did he miss you already? It had only been around 10 minutes since he said goodbye, but he was overjoyed at the thought of seeing you again. Imagining how your face would light up when you saw his gift, that complete smile he hadn't seen in a while, had his heart racing.
He let himself in this time, wanting it to be a total surprise for you, but before he could call out your name, he heard a loud thud upstairs. Worried you could have tripped and hurt yourself he ran upstairs calling out for you. As he rounded the top of your stairs he could see in through your open doorway. His world stopped.
It was as your eyes met his that the regret kicked in. You began to struggle, clawing at the rope around your neck as your legs helplessly flailed around. He could see the panic in your eyes. His body then kicked into gear, running towards you. One arm wrapped around the top of your legs, supporting your waist as his free hand helped you pull the rope away from your neck.
He shifted your weight so that you would fall against your bed, cushioning the landing as much as he could with his arms around you.
"Why?" was the first thing he said. "Jagi, why?"
You couldn't answer as you simply curled up against him, sobbing into his chest. As you fell apart in his arms, he managed to pull out his phone to call an ambulance. During the wait, he couldn't stop the thoughts circling his mind.
Why? Was his love not enough? After this perfect day... Was he not enough?
Hyunjin
"Jinnie, come on, it's not going anywhere, just come home and sleep on it," you begged as your boyfriend insisted on running his routine again.
"No, I can fix this one bit."
"It doesn't need fixing, you're just being a perfectionist," you continued.
"Of course, you don't think it needs fixing," Hyunjin bit back. "It's not like you know anything about dance."
Instead of rising to his comment, you simply started to gather your things and head out.
"Jagi?" Hyunjin questioned harshly as you reached the door.
"Just fix your stupid dance if it's that important to you," you sighed, exasperated as you left the room.
"Fine, I will," he called after you, turning back to the mirror as the door slammed shut behind you.
The longer he spent practicing the more he felt his frustration ebb away. After the 5th run through, he finally felt ready for a rational conversation with you. Just as he was turning off the music he heard the door to the practice room swing open.
"Ah, jagi, I'm sorry," he said without turning.
"It's ok, yeobo, I forgive you."
Hyunjin straightened suddenly, turning to see Lee Know stood in the doorway. "I thought you were Y/N," he blushed, sighing at his hyung.
"Being a petty boyfriend again?" Lee Know teased.
Hyunjin just pouted and rolled his eyes as he finished clearing up.
"Just thought I'd make sure you weren't working yourself to death in here," the older boy commented. "Pleased you're packing up, now go apologise, pabo."
Hyunjin scoffed, shoulder checking Lee Know on the way out. "You're the only member of paboracha here," he muttered under his breath, before disappearing down the corridor.
"Update me when you've fixed things... PABO," Lee Know shouted after him.
Almost automatically Hyunjin headed to yours, knocking a few times on the front door. When there was no answer, he sighed dramatically as he bent to grab your spare key from its hiding place.
"Jagi, I'm home!" Hyunjin called out as he came through the door. "And I'm sorry," he added as adorably as he possibly could.
He carefully toed off his shoes before padding through the house in search of signs of life. When he reached the landing and heard water running in the bathroom, he wasn't at all surprised. A bath always was one of your favourite ways to relax.
"Jagi," he said softly, tapping on the door. "I know I was blunt with you back there, but I'm sorry."
He waited for a reply, but none came.
"Yah, jagi! Come on," he whined. "You don't have to shut me out. I'm apologising."
Your persistent silence had the frustration building within him again.
"I just want a conversation with you," he tried, rapping on the door again. "Yah, why are you always like this? One little thing doesn't go your way and you get so annoying."
His forehead slumped against the door as he waited for you to rise to the bait.
As time went on, he realised the only sound was of running water. He hadn't even noticed any signs of movement beyond the door. Listening closer he realised something about the water didn't sound right. Was it flowing onto the floor?
"Jagi?" he called again, more urgency in his voice now. He turned the door handle, so expecting it to be unlocked that he almost walked into it when it didn't budge.
He frantically rattled the handle some more.
"Y/N?" he called again, desperately trying to get in.
He barely felt the pain in his shoulder as he repeatedly threw his full body weight into the door while screaming out your name. With a dull thud he fell through on to the bathroom floor. As he began to fully register his surroundings, he quickly realised the water he was kneeling in did not look how he expected, it was swirled with red.
A desperate hope flashed through his mind as he prayed that you had simply fallen asleep with a bath bomb. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but to Hyunjin,  he had been frozen on that floor for hours, willing himself to look up, to reach you, to help.
Once his body began moving again, it went into autopilot, pulling you from the bathtub. His heart shattered as you both landed on the floor, your body limp on top of him. As he fumbled, grabbing for the closest towel he noticed a flutter of your eyelids, prompting him to speak.
"I'm so sorry," he mumbled through his tears. "I love you, you're not annoying. You're mine and I love you and I'm sorry," he began to ramble wrapping towels around your wrists as best he could before reaching for his phone.
It didn't take long for the ambulance to reach you, but the whole time he was waiting he continued to ramble sweet nothings, desperate that, if this was the end, the last things you heard were not going to be his harsh words. He needed you to know, you were loved.
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NAVIGATION |  STRAY KIDS MASTERLIST
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trans-luis-serra · 5 months
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TELL ME ABOUT TRANS LUIS!!! I WANT HIM TO BE TRANS SO BAD! (Also he has a giant neon sign over his head that says gay, this man reeks of homosexual)
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE OMG HEYYYYY HIIIIIII HELLOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I’m SOOOOOO sorry this took so long I had SO MANY THOUGHTS!!!!! I plan on SOMEDAY Doing Like. A properly credited and researched document on why I think Luis is trans so this post is more or less kind of a tl;dr rather than a super proper read?????????? And ofc obligatory ‘this is just my own reading and personal interpretation if you disagree please just keep your opinion to yourself!!!!!’
Also this isn’t proofread like. At ALL so please ignore any sentences that seem wonky or weird HDBEHENDUDJX
ALSO also I do NOT give permission for this post to be screenshotted or reposted ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!! No part of this!! Don’t steal!!
Trigger warning for just general mentions of transphobia, religious transphobia and also I talk the death statistics for trans people near the end, so please keep that in mind when reading!!
Ok so, I’m gonna try and put this as chronologically as possible BXBSHDNSHDND but starting at the beginning from when Luis was little there’s already a few things we can pick up on
Luis has a pretty unorthodox family; his mum died when he was little and his dad left so he had to be raised by his Grandfather, and, ask any Trans person around you and they’ll tell you it’s oftentimes the people in their lives who weren’t their direct parents who decided to pick them up and raise them and accept them as they truly are- I feel like you could probably read this with Luis’ grandfather if you really wanted to, too. From what we can TEEEEEEELLL Luis held his grandfather and the memory of him very near and dear to his heart (ie referencing him in conversation, saying ‘not again’ when the medicine burns in seperate ways etc) so you could probably guess that maybe Luis’ grandfather was a surprisingly accepting figure in Luis’ life!!!!!
Which would also line up with the little we know about him- their house was somewhat far away from the rest of the village and from what the notes about him read, his grandfather was a bit of an outcast????? It seemed like the only person who checked in on him regularly was Bitorez- once again, another positive male figure in Luis’ life that he could theoretically look up to and admire.
AND we know that Luis’ grandfather encouraged his love for science and biology- something that prooooobably would’ve been frowned upon in a super conservative catholic glorified cult. So already, Luis and his Grandfather are a bit unorthodox in the setting they live in.
Then we cut to Don Quixote; obviously there’s a LOT to dissect about Luis and his love for that book, and it’s pretty common knowledge how,,,,,,,,, g a y that book is HXNEHENEUDIX like MAAAAAANY-a historians have already pointed that out I don’t need to beat a dead horse but ask literally any trans person around you and they’ll tell you about how they had a fascination with like,, Warrior Cats or Animorphs or Percy Jackson or Peter Pan growing up only to find out they were trans later. Trans kids are pretty drawn to books with unlikely protagonists who don’t fit the usual stereotypes and go on adventures with a whacky misfit family they formed by themselves- and Don Quixote kiiiiiiiiiiiinda falls under that pattern????? It’s a REALLY weird book and I wanna get into why later but it wouldn’t be shocking to assume that Luis probably grasped onto that idea of finding love and acceptance even though he was weird and unusual and he too could go on chivalrous adventures and do good in the world and be loved for who he is (I’ve kinda gone into this before and I plan on going into it again I’ll tag you in that post!!!!)
There’s also something to note about the fact that none of the village notes reference Luis by his first name. Luis is apparently a very “strong and masculine” name so if we ARE going off of the assumption that Luis is trans (which like,,. Duh HDNEHENDHS) then we can probably assume he picked that name for himself
It’s also pretty notable to note (hah) that like,,,,,, just in general, a lot of kids who grow up in a super religious environment just. Turn out gay and trans. I dunno why. I dunno what’s the exact statistic for that but like. Cmon. We’ve all seen it. We all know it right
Then huzzah! Luis’ Grabdfather dies!!! How sweet of him!!!!! /s obviously but Luis takes his death as an opportunity to run from home- again, something that’s sadly quite common amongst younger trans people it seems. When you loose your only support at home, and suddenly that home becomes unsafe, oftentimes the only solution is to run.
Now I’ve talked MUUUUUUCH more in depth about it in this post but considering the fact that Luis was probably a young teenager, an immigrant from the middle of nowhere, and had zero family or support- there’s a less than zero chance that he probably would have stumbled across the queer community one way or another. See, all throughout the 20th century, the queer and poc/immigrant communities were VERY intertwined- now I am WHITE AS ALL HELL so their history isn’t something I’m able to speak on with any amount of grace as actual people of colour could, so I’ll keep this breif and also if I’ve misrepresented anything PLEEEEAAASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME
Basically, like I said- the communities were very intertwined. They’d help each other and were sometimes seen as like the same circle of people when it came to what they were fighting for. All throughout history, this comes up time and time again- which is why I can only assume that Luis, a young person of colour having come from basically the middle of nowhere, would most likely find solace and a place in both communities- and would ABSOLUTELY have explored his gender and sexuality because of it. Even if he WAS cis there’s no way he wouldn’t have at least dabbled in a bit of the ol gender exploration every now and then
((Also, VEEEERY important to note that yes although trans and poc history are very intertwined they are still very seperate histories. It’s VERY IMPORTANT to not erase poc voices from this discussion when talking about this aspect of history- listen to your poc friends first and foremost before all else))
It’s also probably good to note that a few universities around that time were pretty notoriously open about being queer-friendly but we have no clue what exact university in Europe Luis would have gone to but idk we can probably guess he fooled around with some men and women HANSYWNEYENDUCJX
Then we cut to umbrella. I and a few other people have gone into how umbrella would have most likely groomed a young Luis into being excited to work with them and willing via offering him a place to stay, a college degree, a stable life etc etc but there’s also a sense of horror there when you take into account they could’ve offered him the ability to medically transition. Something that was NOT easy or very safe to do at the time. And plus this is resident evil so we can only guess what magical hoodicky they would’ve gotten to do that GDBEYWNDYDJ
From what we can tell, luis honestly enjoyed his time with umbrella!!!! He seemed to be friends with his coworkers and he was proud of the work he was doing (Yknow, before he would have found out it was all a lie and was going to kill millions HXBEHENEH) and honestly isn’t that every trans persons dream????? To have a job where you’re accepted and can feel safe at??????? To have friends who can accept you???????? It just makes what all went down all the more heartbreaking to me if we DO view him in the lens of being a trans character!!!!!!!!!
And then, of course, for the second time in his life; everything comes crumbling down. I’ve done seperate analysis on this and I plan on doing another cuz what I’m about to mention just hits,,,,,,,, S O O O O close to home to me, but when everything in his life gets destroyed AGAIN;
Luis chooses to go back to Valdelobos.
And isn’t that just so devastating?????? Because we as humans ALL do that- when life gets so bad and so intense we have no clue what to do, we all wanna turn to our parents or our childhood homes and get a hug and that feeling of nostalgia and safety from when we were kids that we missed.
But ask any other trans person and they’ll tell you that a lot of the time, that’s not what you’re gonna get; and that’s what happened to Luis. He went home, hoping- BEGGING- for some kind of support from the nightmares he just went through, only to be thrown straight into another one. Los Illuminados had been taken over and reverted his childhood home into something totally unrecognisable and forced him to work for them or else he’d literally be tortured. And isn’t that just,,,,, made all the more depressing when you look at it from a trans angle????
In this case scenario, when a lot of Trans people are forced to return to unsafe homes- they’re forced to push down their identity for their own safety. And reading that in Luis is just all the more devastating
And then there’s the whole thing where Luis literally SELF SURGICALLY REMOVED THE LAS PLAGAS FROM HIMSELF????????? WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE TALK ABT HOW TRAUMATISING THAT MUSTVE BEEN????????????? I know @/katabay made an INCREDIBLE post going into a religious reading on this and how I’m Don Quixote Alonso himself preforms an excorsism on himself and it’s weirdly erotic?????? And how that translates to Luis’ Plagas removal- they also made INCREDIBLE art go check it out- but throughout history there are a LOT of poems made by “”””women who want to be men”””” (aka trans men) who were religious at some point and describe the sensation of binding or getting top surgery to that of having an exorcism (this was mostly done to convince local churches that Hey no it was totally cool actually just let us get gender affirming care pretty pretty please) so, y’know,,,, maybe that meme that Luis showing Leon is scar was actually him coming out as trans wasn’t that far off HEBWYENXUXJXJDNC
And there’s also just the whole fact that he was a scientist that plays into this, too- Catholicism, specifically the hardcore Catholicism that Luis grew up with, absolutely HATES science. And the fact that Valdelobos seemed to be permanantly stuck in this 18th century cult-like state only confirms that they probably would have been anti-medicine, too; not only adding onto Luis’ guilt but also making him a prestigious scientist all the more impressive. Imagery that Luis is shown with (like that lil casket he carried around in seperate ways filled with the suppressants Ada needed) is often used by people in cults similar to Valdelobos to prove that ‘oh science is the devil!!!’ Etc, and y’know what else is related to science????
Medically transitioning babey!!!!!! A lot of the times hardcore religious people, again in similar cults to Valdelobos, use terms like ‘mutulating’ to describe medically transitioning and use already devil-associated imagery like science and modern medicine to hammer home that hatred of trans people (also obligatory not all religious people are like this in fact MOST religious people aren’t like this I’m talking specifically situations like the Gloriavale cult etc etc)
So like,,,,, again, that whole meme that Luis made his own testosterone wouldn’t be too far off BXNSHENDHDNX
But then we get some light at the end of this very depressing tunnel HXNSHENDUJ;
Leon, Ada and Ashley
Now from here on out I’m gonna get into some more like,,, CHARACTER dissection so I figured here would be the best place to put this HDBEYENEUS; Luis fits ALL the stereotypes of a stealth queer person during his time period. Like,, you know the song Gay or European????? Yeah that isn’t a joke that’s a real rhing European queer and trans men did to basically hide the fact that they were queer. It’s like. The oldest trick in the book. Which is why it’s SOOOOOO funny to me when I see Reddit dudebros going “errrrrmm actually Luis isn’t gay it’s just his Spanish charm!!” LIKE DUDE. YOUVE FALLEN FOR T H E TRICK. THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF A BIRD USING THEIR TAIL FEATHERS TO DISTRACT A PREDATOR.
And also Spain in general just has a very long and very beautiful Queer and Trans history- obviously it’d be way too much to fit into this one post but I highly reccomend just,,,, looking it up for yourself. Queer people have always been around :))
Ok ok, back to Leon- I plan on someday taking apart and dissecting EEEEEEEEEVERY interaction between them cuz it’s just. It’s all SO GAY. But in general, Luis treats Leon SO much differently than Ashley and Ada but in a good way!!!!!
Luis isn’t afraid to be open around Leon. He isn’t afraid to be flamboyant and jokey and flirt with him- and hell, he probably did enjoy that chain scene HXNEHENEUDJDJ he isn’t afraid to be more vulnerable and just generally what you wouldn’t consider a stereotypical “manly-man;” he doesn’t conform to western societies of stereotypical masculinity, and he isn’t afraid to show that around Leon.
He’s open with Leon- he’s vulnerable and he very openly CARES about Leon. He truly wears his heart on his sleeve and this is for a MULTITUDE of different reasons but I think a big part of it is not just because he’s genuienly attracted to Leon but because leon is a shining example of a chivalrous knight to him
I and many others have gone into this further; but when Luis first met Leon in that body bag, it probably honestly WAS like he was meeting his very own Don Quixote for the first time. He was probably a shining example of everything he wanted to be; brave, kind, never makes mistakes- and again I’ve gone into this further but this truly does play into his character and his very noble quest for redemption and forgiveness a lot and viewing this from a Trans angle just gives that quest SO much more power
Capcom does their best to make Leon out to be a super strong manly-man and @highball66 has gone into some of Leon’s own queer coding, but I think Luis also sees through this. He sees through his macho dudebro masculinity and he sees a genuine and kind human being underneath; just as Leon had done for him. Leon is everything Luis wants to be in a man- just like his grandfather and probably countless male figures in his life before him. So he’s not afraid to open up to Leon; he isn’t held back by that expectation of toxic masculinity because he wasn’t raised that way.
And he’s the EXACT SAME with Ada and Ashley too!!!!!!!! He CARES about Ada! He’s CONSTANTLY looking out for her and giving her the benefit of the doubt and he’s always so polite and kind around her!!!!!!!! Like yeah he puts on the front of being a ladies-man but again like SOOO many others before me have mentioned that’s probably just a safety front!!!!!! He wears his heart on his sleeve around Ada and Ashley, too- he’s always SO polite around her I feel like not enough people point that out????? He offered his hand out for her to take before inspecting the blood, he’s always asking for permission before he touches her etc he’s so nice people don’t give him enough credit for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And theeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnn it aaaaaaaaalll comes crashing down when he diiiiiieeeeeeessss,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
It’s pretty important to note that Luis is killed by Krauser; and again, other people have gone into Leon and Krausers queer relationship coding a lot better than I have, but it’s pretty interesting to note that Luis was killed by the guy who pretty much encapsulates all forms of toxic masculinity (again, that meme that everyone jokes about that Krauser killed Luis cuz he was jealous of Leon’s new boyfriend might not be far off HXHWHDUXHSH)
Luis uses his final breath to save Leon- to save the man who has shown him forgiveness and empathy and love for the first time in god knows how long. He opens his heart up to Leon in his final moments; he does one last ‘such a loss to the ladies of the world eh?’ As a last-ditch effort to try and convince Leon that he tooooooootally isn’t queer you guys and to try and hold onto that sense of normality; but he drops that act immedietly after Leon shows him that he’s taking this seriously
He opens up to Leon and admits that he led a pretty shitty life. He spills his heart out to Leon and asks him if people can change. And I’ve said rhis before and I’ll say it again; this is Luis looking for some kind of confirmation. Some kind of forgiveness and some way of saying that Yes his life DID mean something- that people CAN change and CAN be loved like he loved Leon and Leon loved him. And, hell, if we’re REEEEEAALY tryna stretch here (which I mean this whole post is tbh HXBSHSNEHDNSHD) you could even read this as Luis asking for somebody to accept him as he truly is, and see past the facade of a super flamboyant cis straight man. It’s not a stretch to say this moment is him looking and hoping that Leon can see through his past actions and see the beautiful human being underneath- so it wouldn’t be crazy to view it under a queer light either
Then, of course, Leon says that iconic line; you were a fine knight, Don Quixote. Confirming to Luis that he WAS like the chivalrous knight he always looked up to when he was little. Not just for his bravery and confidence; but also for his exploration of gender and non conformity in his sexuality. Leon confirms that for him in his final moments.
Then of course there’s the nature of his death; the fact that he dies below his childhood village is pretty telling to me.
Now this is where I’m gonna get into some depressing statistics, so readers beware, but unfortunately, there is a good chunk of trans people who will die in their childhood homes for many reasons. There’s been a good chunk of trans people all throughout history who have lived long, full lives but still were buried in their childhood homes and towns under their dead name or under the gender they were assigned to at birth. It’s depressing and there really is no making light of it- which is why Luis dying in the village he grew up in and tried so desperately to escape from hits so hard to me.
• Now HOPEFULLY obviously I am N O T comparing Luis’ death to actual real trans people’s deaths. But as somebody who HAS lost trans friends to suicide, the manner of his death absolutely REMINDS me of that and thus hits home harder for me. Go give your trans friends a hug, basically
But on the bright side, at least he didn’t die alone. He had Leon; he had somebody who could, theoretically, show the world who he truly was and remember him by his true name and nature. Luis won’t be totally forgotten underground; he’ll have Leon and Ashley and Ada ro remember the man he truly was just like how many, many trans people who have passed away will have friends and loved ones who will remember them for who they truly are.
Now I don’t wanna end this whole analysis on such a depressing note so I’ll add this at the end; I genuienly think that even if you DONT headcannon Luis as Trans, adding that element to his character not only enriches his already INCREDIBLY well written story but also just generally means the world to trans people in real life, too
Like,,,,, I’ve mentioned this before but I’ll say it again; seeing a character who is so genuinely confident in themselves, so open about their emotions and their identity and who holds themselves in a way that isn’t stereotypically “masculine”- that honestly hits so much closer to home than any other trans headcannon ever has. I’ve gone into detail about how much Luis as a character means to me, but seriously, reading him from this angle lowkey makes me want to cry with how much it means to me HDBEHENEHDJX
Luis is a Beautifully written character who shows the best and worst in all of us humans- who shows that we all just want to love and be loved and be forgiven and given the opportunity to change. All trans people deserve that, too; we all deserve the opportunity to live our lives to the fullest.
Even if you want to comment ‘ErM weLl CapCoM woUlD nEVeR hAvE a TrAns ChaRaCTeR-“ does it really matter???? Does it matter if a character has a canon label slapped onto them, if people can already analyse that character from their own perspective and find deep meaning in that themselves????? Is a character who is canonically queer any more meaningful than a character who isn’t????? I don’t think so, cuz clearly, myself and many, many others find solace and comfort and relatability in the fine knight that is Luis Serra
And finally; André Peña, Luis Serra’s voice actor, has been VERY vocal about his support for trans people and has even said he absolutely 100% believes that Luis would believe in trans rights- so suck it transphobes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luis is for US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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j-nipper-95 · 8 months
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Fic Rec (plus late Six Sentence Sunday) Monday!
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Ok, so I’m late posting this, but oh well. It’s being posted!
I’m not sure if my tumblr notifications are working properly at the moment (I know I missed at least one tag last week, so if I’ve missed your tags the last couple of weeks I’m sorry, I’m not ignoring you, tumblr is acting up!) but I’m still alive. I’m back, and I have words to share!
July’s Camp NaNoWriMo has been amazing for getting words down for COTTA, and I am finally back on track with following the El Dorado plot line again! I managed to double the word count goal I had by 1am this morning, so all in all, a very productive month. So without further ado, here’s six(teen) sentences from that! Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy @theearlgreymage and @hushed-chorus (and anyone else if I’ve missed your posts!!)
Baz POV
“Get in the back,” he grunts, nodding at the truck. “I’ll cover you.”
“With what, Snow?”
“Just do it.”
No. I won’t leave him.
“They’ll shoot you on sight,” I say (I plead, I almost beg. Don’t make me face the thought of losing you, Simon). “I can’t get over there without your help,” I add. If there’s one thing I can count on right now, it’ll be Simon’s inner heroism.
“Bet you can,” he says, without thinking.
“Two shillings say I can’t.”
The challenge in my voice is enough to make him turn to glare at me. And knowing how much it irritates him, I cock an eyebrow and tilt my chin up to look down my nose at him.
Snow opens his mouth to argue but snaps it shut when we hear the Now Next almost at the corner we’ve just run around.
“You’re on.”
And then Jas also tagged me in a fic rec post, so here’s a few I’ve been enjoying recently!
Someone Wicked by @artsyunderstudy ([E, 53.9k, Carry On, complete]
I had the chance to beta read this fic with @cutestkilla and oh my God it was a rollercoaster of emotions and tender smut and I loved every single second of it!
Normal AU, complicated family relationships, religious guilt, chronic pain rep, escort Simon, this fic had me hooked from the second Ashton pitched it to me! It’s angsty and soft and emotional in all of the ways we’ve come to expect from her fics, and it ticks all of the boxes.
Ashton managed to tackle some really tough emotions and relationship dynamics in this one, and I don’t really want to say any more and risk spoiling any of it.
Check it out if you haven’t yet, but just remember it is explicit with plenty of on page smut/sex scenes!
More Than Friends by @fatalfangirl [E, 19.9k, Carry On, incomplete]
This fic updated today. It was a good day!
Simon and Baz are roommates, and having survived lockdown together their feelings are becoming much more than platonic. Both of them like the other, but neither is willing to compromise their friendship.
Another Normal AU, this time ‘friends with benefits’, featuring lots of unhealthy coping mechanisms, a sexually promiscuous Simon (which I for one am loving!), Baz as a writer, and some new tags that were added today (trigger warnings for mentions of past ab*se and panic attacks).
This fic is updating currently, and I cannot wait to see what Stacy has in store for the boys! (Again, it’s explicit, so minors begone!)
What Remains After the Storm by @hushed-chorus [M, 86.3k, Carry On, complete]
When I tell you this fic had (and still has) me in a fricken chokehold, that’s an understatement! I still think about this fic on a daily basis, and Demi’s writing is simply stunning.
A fantasy/historical fiction(ish) AU, with fae, curses, much pining, and plenty of cute goats.
Simon is a goatherd on the edge of a fishing town, and while he’s not entirely trusted by the townsfolk, he’s not outright despised either. He works the land, and always pays his tithe to the fae. Until he pulls something from the ocean. Or rather, someone. When Baz flees his fae captors and returns home, he and Simon have to work together to help him remember his humanity.
This fic. Oh. My. GOD! Every update had me on the edge of my seat. Do yourself a favour, and go and read this fic. Especially as Demi is considering writing more in the same AU!
Strictly Professional by @palimpsessed [E, 38.5k, Carry On, complete]
This fic completed a couple of days ago, and I didn’t have time to finish reading it until this morning, and my god was it worth the wait!
Simon is a new recruit at Baz’s firm, and he’s joined the company just in time for the professional conference. But not in time to get his own hotel room. Cue only one bed forced proximity fast burn get together!
This fic pays off so quickly in the best way possible! The emotions Pal has managed to get into such a short space of time for the boys is incredible, and had me so invested in this relationship! Baz trying to remain professional, Simon’s unabashed flirting, neither of them managing to keep their hands off each other. Again, every single box ticked!
The Selkie and his Boy by @hushed-chorus [T, 21.8k, Carry On, complete]
It’s very rare that I pick up a T or G rated SnowBaz fic. I usually go for M and above, but once again, Demi had me hook line and sinker with this one.
Every year, Baz and his family holiday in Cornwall (can I just say how much I love Demi’s writing about Cornwall? It’s so nice to see the South West represented in fic!! As a Dorset girl who holidayed a lot in Cornwall as a kid, I love this so much!). Everything goes to plan … most of the time. One year, he meets a boy with bronze hair and blue eyes that utterly captivates him, and who he expects to spend the whole summer getting to know.
But the boy never shows up the next day. Or the next. Or indeed for the next several years.
Flash forward seven years, and an embittered Baz finally meets Simon again, and finds out why Simon never came back all those years ago.
An AU where Simon is a selkie, Baz is still a vampire, and Mordelia is unabashedly sassy!
Tagging (for both SSS and fic recs): @artsyunderstudy @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @aristocratic-otter @palimpsessed @larkral @orange-peony @dragoneggos @prettylightsbigcity @stardustasincocaine @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ebbpettier @martsonmars @erzbethluna @hushed-chorus
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satocidal · 7 months
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𖥔 ִ ་ ، ˖ ࣪ ་ ˖𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐞 𖥔 ִ ་ ، ˖ ࣪ ་ ˖
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— 𝐴𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑅𝑜𝑚𝑒<3
(factual speed run!): Rome is — 18, South Asian, entp (7w8), favourite colour? Red and Gold but what’ll you do anyways…she/her, a full-time-student—STEM, raging bisexual, bilingual. This is, as per my indecisiveness, a multi fandom blog now hehe
˚ ༘💭⋆。˚ — (what’s goin’ on in that gorgeous brain of yours?): Rome is thinking — of her husbands and wives<3 especially of Suguru Geto because just about men who hate your guts and will also rearrange them for you makes me horny. In an eternal poly relationship with SatoSugu and honourable mentions to my side bae Shoko.
(music that is blessed!): Rome Listens to — Hozier, Mitski, Cavetown, Artic Monkeys, Lost Stories, Zeph, Nanku, The Yellow Diaries, Neighbourhood, Young The Giants, Catfish and the bottlemen, Hoosiers, pat!d, lumineers, one direction, Lorde, Mother Mother, Wallows, Girl in Red, Marina, Alec Benjamin
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— 𝑅𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝐿𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑠:
—my general likes: coffee and tea, vanilla scented things, sour candies, psychological thriller, mangas, maths and physics and classic literature, drama, random silly little debates on mundane topics, star-gazing, watching sun-rise, organised phones, raspberries, men who are smarter than, women who are stronger than me, late night walks, hot showers, watching people do makeup (because I can’t), doing my hair, dancing, silly little skirts, caramel flavoured things, pasta, baking, a lot- like a lot of academic validation&lt;3
—my general dislikes: conservatives(or that’s still ok but don’t come @ me with your views),furries, chemistry, people who shove their opinions into others, misogynists, rad fems, gabi haters, sadly- eren💀; incels, homophobes and islamophobes; any sort of discrimination
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— 𝑅𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑊𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠:-
—What I will write:
most genres at any given time- angst, fluff, smut. I do accept requests and will write anything ranging from drabbles and Headcanons to longer fics (+2k words); I do age up all my characters (given I mostly write for adults anyways) even if there’s no smut; I am fine with most kinks too, just check what I don’t write for a heads up.
It may that you sent a request and I never worked on it or maybe even said I would and then nothing ever happened, I’m sorry but sometimes that’s how it is. Often I don’t have enough motivation and I’m an ask-hoarder so even as I write, I have month old asks stored in—it’s nothing personal at all in fact I may just corporate your ask/request/thirst in a longer fic as I please (sorry not sorry my love)
I’m fine with writing angsty stuff too, blood and gore, character deaths, polyamory, character x reader x character or character x reader; I usually write Fem! Reader unless requested otherwise (I’m not experienced much with Male! Reader though);
my reader inserts are always fem! Bodied and devoid of any other particular physical features (may sometimes be defined as chubby but yes); dub-con; concept of physical/mental abuse (works will be properly tagged or trigger warned)
—What I won’t write: water sports; monster fucking(may hold exceptions); omegaverse; indulgence in bodily fluids (except blood and cum); rape; non-con; pedophilia; incest, any kind of discrimination; scat; lolli-con
—What fandoms I work on: Shinjeki no Kyojin; Boku no hero piko; Jujutsu kaisen; Haikyuu!!; Tokyo Revengers; Bungo Stray Dogs
“Rules”:
i love terms of endearment and use them indiscriminately so if there’s an issue, do lemme know and I do talk a lot in general but don’t barge into my inbox with slurs or “bitch/slut/whore” when and if we don’t know each other)
Do not, I repeat, do NOT bring discourse to my blog <3 about other writers, my mutuals or anything
It may be that I make you uncomfortable or vice versa, in which case I do encourage talking it out and voicing your issue but if you’re not big on that, soft-block and hard-blocks are ok with no hard feelings because I’m huge on curating your own experience
If you wanting to hard-block/soft-block me, it’s ok but please by all accords don’t leave me following you because that’s just weird
don’t send hate because 1. It doesn’t matter to me 2. I’ve better things to deal with and you look stupid
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𝑅𝑜𝑚𝑒’𝑠 𝐻𝑢𝑠𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠:-
— Geto Suguru, Satoru Gojo, Hanma Shuji, Rindou Haitani, Kokonoi Hajime, Jean Kirsten, Erwin Smith, Nanami Kento, Oikawa, Kuroo, Chuuya and Fukuzawa + I’ll find more <3
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katherineholmes · 4 months
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So, I got this question a while back, and I’ve spent some time thinking about this now that I’m a little free.
There are just a few things I want to say here :
1. Yes, Elena has lost a lot of people. She knows grief really well. But I can't see her becoming as emotionally manipulative as Esther. I agree that Elena would do anything to save any potential kids she has, but that's where the similarities between her and Esther end. I don't think Elena would ever stand by and watch any child of hers get physically abused, especially if she had the power to stop it.
I also don't think Elena would take a chance like Esther did - because that's what the spell for vampirism was - a chance, there was no way of knowing if the spell would work and Elena wouldn't do that unless there was literally no other option available. If Elena was in a position like Esther's, she'd simply leave the village - an option that was available to Esther and Mikael, but one they never picked, owing to their egos (or rather, Mikael’s).
2. To be very honest with you, I have explicitly stated that Elena wants to have the baby in both fics. In Irresistible, she makes a conscious choice to both keep the babies and tell Klaus about it. It is her choice. She goes to a doctor. She refuses the idea of abortion that is presented to her. In Baby It’s Cold Outside, she tells Elijah explicitly that she is having the baby because she wants to. She thinks about having an abortion for a long time and then dismisses that idea. Hell, she even acknowledges that different people are trying to control her and are infringing on her bodily autonomy and decides that she won’t do what they want. That she’ll do what she wants. And Elijah is extremely clear that he will support whatever decision she makes.
Elena’s eighteen and pregnant, she’s not going to jump for joy at an unexpected pregnancy. She has depression and PTSD at the very least, and she’s in flux, deciding what she wants from her life. And she’s taking these decisions on her own merit. Without external pressure/influence. I’m sorry if it feels like she doesn’t love the baby, she does, it’s just buried under a multitude of mental health issues, and how she deals with it all is a part of her character arc.
3. I want to be extremely clear when I say this, I have never, nor will I ever write forced pregnancy within a fic without tagging it. It is extremely insulting of you to imply that I would. It is also extremely offensive of you to imply that I’m writing something which is compromising on a character’s bodily autonomy, when I am a huge proponent of both - proper tagging and consent (even when my characters don’t understand the intricacies of consent - I will tag it properly). If I were writing about a forced pregnancy, that fic would have about five trigger warnings regarding said forced pregnancy.
I’m extremely sorry if you find this rude or if it wasn’t your intention, but your question honestly came off as a little underhanded to me, and it seems a bit rude. Just to be clear, Elena will not be having an abortion in either fic, so if you’re expecting that, then maybe my fics aren’t for you.
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quinloki · 7 months
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hello, sorry if this is too real of an ask if you're not feeling too well recently, but I've been meaning to ask if you have any advice when it comes to tackling really dark topics in fanfics?? I've been meaning to write a darkfic with the Kid pirates main 4 as slasher movie villains (think Jason Voorhees vibes) with a touch of yandere tendencies, so there's not gonna be a lot of comfort/fluff in this fic. this is naturally gonna be hard to write especially when it comes to wanting to write dark and disturbing scenes without wanting to glorify or romanticise abusive behavior or stockholm syndrome, not to mention not wanting to upset or trigger survivors, especially as one myself, so any advice would be lovely. thank you ^-^
I’m going to start this off with what I think should be your most important takeaway from this:
It’s okay to romanticize abuse in fiction.
It’s okay to romanticize horror, murder, etc. etc. in fiction.
Fiction is where we can do the really uncomfortable stuff. Where we can explore the darks part of existing, because it’s good to be able to go “I connect with this and I should consider why.” Or “this brings me comfort, how can I break that down?” Stuff like that.
Sometimes it helps us realize a view or understanding we had that we thought was good is inherently flawed. (I am reminded of viewers being very angry when they realized the character in The Boys they connected with was *not* a good guy and did not get redeemed.)
What we have to be careful about is not condoning such themes in reality.
Horror movies and books go into deep dark territory all the time, but often hobby writers can be held to odd standards by comparison, which gets a bit frustrating at times.
How to avoid that AND present dark fic properly?
On Ao3 and tumblr just tag your story - character death, gore, stalking, Stockholm syndrome, abuse, toxic relationship, dubcon, noncon as applicable, excessive descriptions of blood and gore, etc.
You don’t have to get specific - you don’t have to say who dies/survives. You can admit to “this has a bad end” if you want - I had a webcomic warn me about that and it was NOT kidding.
Some responsibility is on the writer for dark fic, yes, but honestly that’s just in terms of being sure you label it well. Avoiding and heeding those tags is solely on the reader - as long as you didn’t, say, write about disarticulation in exacting detail without warning “excessive descriptions of blood and gore”.
You can put additional warnings in the summary, or even as a heads up before a particularly intense chapter.
And, you’re not going to be perfect. If someone says “hey can you add [x] tag?” Be open to it - but don’t add any and every tag requested - sometimes people can be demanding in tag requests and you have the right to decide where the line really is.
For example someone might ask that you add a tag involving eye-trauma. It’s a squick of mine, people getting injured on, in, around their eyes, and I wouldn’t be upset with a heads up - but I also think it’s covered under warnings of gore.
Someone might ask that you tag a specific character’s death - personally? I wouldn’t. “Character death” is enough. “Slasher/horror” honestly should really be enough cause even though I don’t watch horror movies I have a keen understanding that you do not get attached to characters in a horror story.
As long as you hit the broad strokes, I think that’s enough. The idea is that no one wants to walk into a slasher when they were expecting fluff.
As for taking care of ourselves as writers while we write dark content, that’s harder to give advice on. I really have to be in a steady frame of mind to write dark stuff, but if I know there’s vindication in there somewhere it’s much easier. (There’s a stalker in A Light Touch that gets his due and as someone who has had more than 6, it was cathartic to write.)
But sometimes there’s catharsis in the bad guy winning too. You’ve got to understand those lines for yourself - I can’t really give you advice cause it’s so different for everyone. But listen to yourself.
If it feels like a slog, leave it.
If it’s not getting out of your mind, write it.
You’re not “weird” if you write your darkest shit when you’re happiest, or vice versa. What you need to do is just keep an eye on yourself - there is no world in which you should suffer in order to write “good dark content”.
For better or worse, that’s the best advice I have - I hope it’s helped ^_^
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From Blood Love and Courage - Chapter Eight.
So... apart from my usual lovely people (you know who you are) I’ve noticed interest dwindling over the last few chapters. Sigh. Can I prompt a few more of you to interact if you’re enjoying this? I’m kinda feeling like I suck. Again :( 
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Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven
Words - 4,195
Tag list - In the comments, please message to be added/removed
Warnings - Mentions of rape and the associated trauma of such to come in future chapters. While I do not plan on detailing these overtly graphically, there will be detailing of such and conversations surrounding the subject, so if this is a trigger for you, you’d be best not to begin reading the story. 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!
When she awoke the next morning, Lily felt something sharp ping at her insides at remembering the day before. She didn’t want it to be difficult to move past, Angel’s behaviour spurred by his jealousy, but she knew it likely would be. Turning over, she saw him still sleeping beside her, reaching to stroke his face.
She loved him so much.
In dealing with it, she knew too that his behaviour wasn’t indicative of him loving her any less, there was no lack of sincerity on his part; it was because he loved her so much that he’d lost his mind out of jealousy and tried to sabotage them, all out of fear that he was going to lose her to another. She’d done the same, except without the vindictiveness, and his ease and swiftness to resort to such was a worry, she couldn’t deny that it was. His love didn’t make what he’d done right, it didn’t excuse it.  
Sliding from her bed, she went about getting ready for her early training session, leaving him to sleep. With her match the following day, she couldn’t worry about Angel, or whether he’d freak out like that and do it again in the future. She just had to hope that he wouldn’t, because it was a side of him she really did not care for.  
It was a side of him that if she saw again, there would be no him and her.  
She felt it begin to piss her off, despite what they’d discussed, or the resolve they’d come to, because she knew for a fact she would never, ever have used another man to make him feel like shit, knowing his issues with rejection. He knew hers, and had done so anyway. Okay, so he didn’t have sex with the other girl, but seeing him kissing her had been bad enough.  
What could she do, though? She’d said all she needed to, vented her anger, punched him in the eye for it as well. All she could do now was sit tight and see if he truly did intend on changing his ways. The man he’d been, the Angel she had seen prior to his falter was very much worth it, she couldn’t deny.  
“Hey, sleepy,” she spoke softly as she sat down on the bed, bending to kiss his chest. “You have to take me back to get my car, remember?” He stirred, reaching for her, pulling her into a hug.  
“I do, yeah,” he grunted, still half asleep. “Is that coffee I smell?”  
She sat up, flicking the large mug on the nightstand she’d brought in for him with her fingernail. “Sure is.”  
He stretched, sitting up properly, reaching for the mug and taking a swig. “You’re too good to me, mamacita. I don’t deserve you, especially after yesterday. Again, I’m so sorry. All I dreamed of last night was you walking out on me, and it sucked, even if it wasn’t real.”  
She sighed softly, drawing her knees up to hug them. “That all depends on how you act, going forward.”
He acknowledged that. “I know. I mean, even just doing what you did with Sofia and having a little temperamental meltdown would have been preferrable, but I really hate myself for trying to hurt you and push you away. Everything has been going so great, and then I go act like a child and fucking wreck it all!” The fact that he could see how wrong he’d been and honestly was ashamed of himself went a long way for Lily, it really did. “I get it, that in light of all this you’re gonna have issues trusting me. I understand, sweet pea.”
Again, it was reassuring that he did.  
After he’d gotten ready, they headed back to Santo Padre, Lily hopping off his bike in the quiet scrapyard, not a soul around given that it was still only 6:30am.  
“So, I’ll meet you at your place at six tonight, then?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist. He hated it, seeing how her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. Oh, if he’d fucked all this up, he wouldn’t easily forgive himself. His timing was awful, too, with her fight the following day. God, what an idiot he was!  
“You will, yeah.”
“Want me to bring dinner?”  
She brightened a little at his suggestion, but not by much. “Yeah, can you get Chinese so I can have brown rice, chicken and broccoli, please?”
“Yeah, no problem, baby. See you later, love you.”
“Love you, too.” The lack of enthusiasm in her speaking those words made his stomach drop, Angel sighing as she walked to her car, heading for the office and opening up to grab his work shirt. He might as well make an early start. There were several old cars that required crushing and heaping before the wagon arrived to take them away later that morning, so he got on it, admonishing himself with every moment that passed. He internally kicked himself, repeatedly, furious over what a fuck up he’d been.  
He had a wonderful girl, and what had he done? Almost blown it. That’s what he’d done.  
Hell, she might even turn around at some point soon and decide that no, she actually was worth more than an emotional headcase like him, and who’s fault would that be? His. Once the cars had been sorted, he turned his attention to a large container full of copper that needed sorting, jumping in over the side of the big, metal crate that had been lifted via crane into the yard, beginning to pull pieces of copper out from the mixture of steel, hearing footsteps approach.  
“Feel like taking a break?” EZ asked, holding up the breakfast items he’d been to fetch in his hands. Coffee and a breakfast burrito; he could definitely do with such sustenance.  
“Yeah, hold on.” Hauling himself up, he jumped down, removing his thick work gloves and jerking his head in the direction of the clubhouse, the brothers seating themselves on one of the old, battered couches out front on the porch. “Thanks for this, I appreciate it.”
EZ nodded, sipping his coffee. “What I really wish you’d appreciate is how much I care about you, and because of that, how I’d never make the moves on Lily.”  
Angel laughed softly though his nose, closing his eyes for a moment. “You mad at me too?”
“A little,” he confirmed. “But I know it’s not really anything to do with me. It’s your toxic shit, biting you in the ass. It does bear me mentioning, though, that I wouldn’t ever do that to you. Look, Lily is great, and yeah, she’s beautiful as well, but we were just having fun, hanging out, pursuing a mutual interest in fitness and getting to know one another better. I thought it was important I do that, since I sense she’s gonna be around for the foreseeable. Unless you fuck it all up by acting like you did last night. I heard all about it, by the way. Taza filled me in.”
Of course, he had. Angel saw it quite clearly, the fatherly eye Taza watched over Lily with. “Then I extend an apology to you as well.”
“Appreciated,” EZ interjected with.  
“And you’re right, it is my shit. I got so damned lucky with her; I really did. Anyone else would have just screamed at me and then told me to go fuck myself, but she didn’t, because she believes I’m capable of better. I know I am, too, I just gotta... ahh, you know.”
He did. “Not be all up in your head about everything?”
Angel fiddled with the lid on his coffee, his mouth tightening a little. “Yeah, exactly that.”
“It’s all that stands in the way of everything you want, and what I think you need,” EZ continued, Angel making an inquiring face as he bit into the burrito. “You need a steady girl in your life, someone you can start building a life with, have a family with eventually, too. Because that’s your goal, isn’t it? You wanna be a dad.”
It was true, Angel had to somewhat concede. “Maybe not yet, but yeah, eventually I’d love to have kids, see how much I fuck that up, too.”  
Angel and his self-deprecation; that’s when EZ knew his elder brother was under no illusion of his wrong doings. “You won’t. Whether it’s with Lily or not – and that’s way too soon to even consider – you'll be great. Just maybe get the whole not fucking up being a good boyfriend bit out of the way first, huh?”  
While Angel was beginning to feel a little better, Lily was in the ring, having a tap around with David, a young guy also coached by Larry, who looked on proudly from the floor.  
“Hands up, pivot, great block, yes!” She had the speed, she had the power, and by god, she had an extra measure of ferocity, too. She was ready. “Okay, Lily. We’re calling it a day there. Cool down and relax, you’re looking perfect. The nemesis ain’t gonna know what’s hit her.”  
With the fire in her belly at seeing the man she loved kissing another woman burning away savagely, Lily finally felt confident that Gabriella Martinez truly wouldn’t, either. Hell, something good had to come from the utter clusterfuck that was the previous evening. With her mind on her fight as well as all things coffee and light snack related while she worked her shift, she managed to keep her thoughts steered away from Angel for a few hours, returning home to let Charlie out onto her shoulder, feeding him his snacks and placing him on his perch, quickly tidying her apartment a little bit before crashing down and listening to music while she waited for him to arrive. For the first time since meeting him, she wasn’t really looking forward to it either.  
After eating dinner in what was predominantly silence only punctuated by stunted conversation, Angel was glad in that moment that Lily didn’t smoke inside her apartment, letting himself out on the balcony and lighting up, blowing a plume of smoke down his nostrils as he scratched his forehead, contemplative. He hated that she was still angry at him, but completely understood. He didn’t expect immediate forgiveness, but the more immature side of him just wanted to smooth it all out, the uneasiness not sitting well within him. The grown man in him knew it was his punishment for acting like a complete asshole.  
He also knew that Lily likely needed to vent a little more about it, that there was probably another talk they needed to have, and time to pass before she began to feel more secure in their relationship once more, but there was no way he wanted to rock the boat on the eve of her match; it was too important a fight to her for him to possibly unsettle her more than his actions already had. This left him between a rock and a hard place, and he knew he deserved to be there, too.  
“It’s your learning curve, man,” he muttered, taking another long drag on his cigarette. “If you don’t want to feel like this again, then don’t fucking do what leads to it, you stupid fuck.” Groaning, it then hit him; he’d reverted to thinking of himself first, not her, or her hurt in the wake of it all. One learning curve after another, and he knew he had to continue going through them this time, because Lily was worth it. More than worth it. And, it was about time he started behaving like someone who was close to thirty-three years old.
The way he felt about her dictated he should feel like shit for as long as it took for her to feel comfortable and trusting of him again, while he’d learn each lesson as it came, rather than avoiding it via methods of sabotage, only destined to repeat his mistakes all over again with the next woman. He didn’t want there to be a next woman. Angel only wanted the woman who barely spoke more than a few words to him for the rest of the night, sitting lost in her phone, watching videos of her opponent’s fights on YouTube, studying her hard. He might as well have not been there, but he wasn’t about to bolt on her. That wouldn’t be an action befitting of his proving that she could rely on him.  
His feelings of awkwardness were eased a little when they went to bed, Lily curling into a ball next to him to begin with, before relaxing, her hand moving to stroke his chest.  
“You okay, mamacita?”  
She hummed, sinking a little deeper into her pillow. “Yeah, just nervous about tomorrow.”  
His hand covered hers, fingertips stroking the soft skin. “You’re gonna do great. Just look how well you did in your last fight, a knockout in less than a minute. I get that they’re different fighters, but you’re the same absolute savage. You’ll knock her flat, I believe in your capability to do just that.”  
She smiled into the darkness, kissing his shoulder and settling, asleep much sooner than she expected to be with everything floating around in her mind. The next morning, she wasn’t quite as serene, doing a quick workout at home before hitting the shower, Angel sitting chatting with Diego, who was house sitting so Charlie had someone to care for him who he actually liked (Angie would have done it, but she and Ernesto were away in Cancun on vacation) while she got ready.  
While drying off and applying her lotion, she noticed how chatty Angel was, knowing exactly why, too. Someone was there who he could actually talk to, because she knew why he wasn’t with her; he knew she was still stewing at him, and didn’t know how to handle that, likely didn’t want to piss her off any more than he already had either, so hadn’t wanted to stir things. How right she was in her guess, feeling a little bad for him sitting out there talking Diego’s ear off, knowing how gregarious he was with people whom he liked, probably relieved he was in the company of someone who talked back with more than five words.  
She knew he was sorry, genuinely remorseful over his actions, but it still didn’t sit well with her, wishing she could hit the fast forward button to a time where she’d feel confident that he wasn’t about to get jealous, freak out and do it all over again. That wasn’t possible, though, so she just had to ride out the uncomfortableness, because she knew he was worth it. At that immediate time, though, she was keeping him somewhat at arm's length, because she knew if she engaged with him too much, she’d lose her focus on the fight, and she needed the tunnel vision. Gabriella Martinez had to be where her mind was one hundred percent, or as close to it as she could get.  
However, in light of the fact she knew he was trying hard to do what he thought was right, she did let him know of her appreciation. “Thank you for this, for coming with me when things between us aren’t quite right,” she spoke, about halfway through the journey up to Anaheim.  
It was small, but her recognition of that did go a way to make him feel a little more comfortable, in a situation where he felt anything but. “Of course, baby. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He wouldn’t have either, although he found himself in the background a lot to her duties once they’d checked in at the hotel and arrived at the venue, Lily offering him an official introduction to Larry before she was absconded in her world, pre-fight prep and the like. Before Angel knew it, the venue had filled up, the first two fights had been and gone, and Lily was deep in focus mode as Larry wrapped her hands, turning into the girl who’d first barked at him on her way from the ring. Her focus was completely polarised.  
Standing in the tunnel as she was announced, her entrance music beginning to filter through the speakers, Lily stared ahead unflinchingly, feeling Angel’s hand on her shoulder. “Go get her, tough girl.” Oh, she would. Confidence radiated through her, channelling her usual anger, this time adding to her normal mental repertoire by replaying the moment she’d watched Angel kissing the other girl, her fury burning as she strode for the octagon with fire in her heels, rage in her heart and determination pulsating through each and every muscle, entering the black cage with Larry, Angel waiting at the side, readying his phone so he could record her fight.  
“Remember, she’ll strike strong to weaken, don’t give her the opportunity. Pull back, let her surge and then strike hard, catch her off guard. You got this, Lil.” Larry advised, slipping her tooth guard into her mouth before squeezing her shoulders, leaving the octagon, Lily pacing from foot to foot as she circled her neck, staring at Gabriella with the same venom filtered back in return from her opponent, the ref calling them to the centre as the crowd cheered.  
Everything seemed to quieten as she reached out to touch mitts, the bell ringing, her guard going up immediately as the women began to circle one another. She moved forward, goading Gabriella to hit out, Lily leaning back and then ducking and elbow, her first shooting out to strike hard against her solar plexus, Gabriella countering with a fist to the side of her head. Fuck. She’d forgotten how hard she punched, her left leg immediately coming up, Lily blocking, seeing Angel kissing the girl in her mind’s eye, steaming in with four sharp punches, two hooks, a body shot and an uppercut that sent her backwards, but not to the canvas.  
It was enough to rock her confidence a little, though, Lily blocking her next punch before steaming in to rain blows upon her face, push kicking her backwards, Gabriella growling in frustration before coming back with a kick that hit her shoulder hard, a fist catching her cheekbone, Lily side stepping neatly before turning, locking her arm and striking her in a spinning back fist that hit her hard, hard enough for Gabriella to stumble, Lily on her, her first hitting her nose so hard, blood spurted out as the bone broke, the ref dragging her back when she continued to thrash brutality upon her, her rage pumping like wildfire.  
That was it, job done. Nemesis defeated in two minutes and forty-eight seconds, Lily ecstatic as she heard the bell ring, Larry charging into the octagon to bundle her into a huge hug, Angel cheering her from the floor, immensely proud. Her arm was raised in indication of her win, the crowd cheering, Gabriella looking absolutely destroyed, her nose dented and pouring, her coach attending to her with a cloth. After, and much to Lily’s surprise, she offered her hand to her in congratulations with a curt nod.  
Exiting the octagon, she had her mitts removed by Larry, tooth guard too, turning to Angel and receiving a hug and kiss before quickly turning back to Larry and whispering something to him, her coach nodding. She then took her boyfriend by the hand and walked back up to the locker rooms, entering her designated space and locking the door behind them, hastily unwrapping her hands before drinking back a litre of water.  
“Okay, so now I’ve gotten that done with, I can concentrate on this thing with you and me,” she began, Angel leaning back against the door, hooking his thumbs into his belt as he prepared himself for the likely tirade he expected. “I want to be alright with you, I do, but fuck, I’m so angry at you for daring use another woman against me. I thought I could just carry on, but I can’t just yet.”  
She walked towards him with purpose, getting right in his face, adrenaline still rushing wildly through her, post-fight mode still in full swing. “I’m not going to labour the point about it, I won’t. But you’re going to show me whose man you are, Angel. You’re going to fuck me like you’re mine, and you’re not going to stop until I know for damned sure there’s no other woman in your mind other than me. Got it?”
Oh yes. He got it. He knew what this was, he knew it with every fibre of his being as he grasped her waist and launched himself forwards, kissing her with feverish intent. Lily needed to reclaim what was hers, mark her territory, and by all the stars in the damned sky, he’d let her. She needed him to show her that he belonged to no other than her, and the need to do such took over him completely as they pulled at each other’s clothes, bodies revealed as Lily dragged him back towards the shower, entering the block tiled construction and pulling the lever, cold water raining down over them before it finally turned warm.
It was all pawing hands and needy, messy kisses as the water soaked them, Angel pulling away from her for a moment, resting his forehead to hers. “I don’t wanna break you apart any more than life already has. All I want to do is mend all your broken pieces.” Her heart somersaulted in her chest at such a profound statement, her sore fingers from bruised knuckles that had shattered bone not ten minutes previously now gentle as they stroked at the neck of the man she was in love with. “I love you so much, Lily.”
She leaned forward, fingertips chasing water trails that ran in tiny currents down his chest. “Then show me.” The need to do it burned through him, his mouth on hers as he held her face in his hands, thumbs stroking over sore, bruised flesh, kissing her as if nothing else mattered, like his life depended on it, hands reaching for her legs and grasping, Lily jumping, locking her thighs as she gripped on around his waist, breaking their kiss with a gasp as he dropped her down onto his cock. It stoked the embers within her, the glow spreading as the feel of him back inside of her reignited the flames, his body the agent that set about the fire beginning to roar through her.  
He paused, fighting through each of her legs to hold her spread on his forearms, fucking up into her hard, Lily biting his lower lip with a little cry that daggered right to the soft of his insides, nuzzling her nose, watching as water glittered on her long eyelashes. “I love you.” With that whisper, tenderness was cast aside as he began to drive into her furiously, teeth set in a carnivorous bite upon her jaw, her neck, her shoulder, her nails clawing through his hair and down his back, red marks left behind in their torrid wake. Yes, Lily would definitely let it be shown whose man he was.  
It was just them, the outlaw and his fighter, bodies sliding together, earthy brown meeting glacial blue in a gaze of complete adoration and a raw flow of uncontained lust as he fucked her hard against the tiles, their moans rising along with the steam, the drag of rigidity against her soaking walls making her glimmer, pleasure winding tightly. A bonfire of lust to ravaged her senses, his hands gripping at her thighs roughly, body pounding against hers as he used it to tell her, to show her, how every last inch it was all hers.  
She fizzed with the ecstasy of each deep, unfettered thrust right down to her very marrow, crying out as she clung to him, her cunt clenching onto him in a greedy grasp as he rutted her deeply, kissing her with blinding, hungry need. The undulatory motion of his hips began to lose their deep set, rolling rhythm, replaced by something much more staccato, but every last bit as brutal, Lily feeling herself pulse and throb as he chased cool fire through her, panting hard against her neck as they both rose on the huge wave that crested and then crashed, dragging them under, pleasure soaring through their bodies.  
“Yeah,” she began in gasp, Angel moving to kiss her, his chest heaving against hers. “That’ll do it.”  
He laughed in reply of those words, cock still gently trawling her, the little flutters around him feeling amazing. “Just you wait until I get you back to the hotel. That is, if I actually let you out of here any time soon.”
“Oh, you wanna go again?” she questioned as he placed her down. He smiled, kissing his way down her body until he was crouched before her, lifting her leg over his shoulder, tongue running a slow, firm drag over her clit.  
And there she had her answer.  
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comforterslut · 4 months
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18+ only, minors/ageless blogs following this sideblog will be hardblocked w/o warning (I AM 18)
if you know me IRL and try to interact with this blog i may just explode you with my mind beams (unless given explicit permission before)
you can call me chii / angel / box on this blog! body is 18, autistic, and tme (he/it). i am a lesbian and this blog is for me & my soulmate only 🩷
though that’s the case i’ll follow + like posts and such, i like having mutuals! i mainly reblog things for me & my bf, however ^_^
for mobile users you can click my bio link to see some extra stuff or just click the read more
if i follow you or like your posts it is from @splatoondyke. don’t be alarmed.
idk how to disclaim this but i belong to someone & don’t appreciate flirting, /j or not. this blog is to unabashedly reblog a bunch of horny shit so i can leave it all here … probably
———-
things i may post about or reblog… (wip??)
biting, bondage, praise & degradation, switch4switch / sub4sub, light intox (i tag this as #intox)
i’m new to certain kink communities and terms, and i’m very protective of my boyfriend (it goes both ways :3), so i probably won’t tag her in any posts here / talk about our experiences much. sorry. 🖤
anything i reblog that has #ask to tag on it is mainly for my bf, if something i post makes them upset, so i can remove or tag it properly. i can trigger tag if we’re mutuals but i have a very shoddy memory, so if i forget please forgive me
anything i reblog as #fav don’t worry abt it…
anything i do post will maybe be tagged and queued under #❤️ otherwise i don’t tag my original posts
spam reblog/liking makes me a little bit uncomfortable, though i’m guilty of it as well so
i also sometimes just reblog things that fit my aesthetic or clothes i’d love to wear here. regular stuff ^_^ thank you for reading!
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vadersaber · 10 months
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I think what kinda bothers me is.. I get that people write noncon themes as a way to cope with their traumas. And if they wanna do that, that’s totally up to them. But when they post this on a very public website, and sometimes not even tagged correctly, they are hurting and triggering other people. I have noncon blocked too but somehow, I still see these kind of stories.
Like you say, Joel is generally a very safe character. He’s the protector. So going into his tags, you just wouldn’t expect that kinda stuff because it’s so completely the opposite of who Joel is.
Like I said, he’s one of my comfort characters and has been for years. And now I feel uncomfortable going into his x reader tag because I’m actually scared of what people are posting.
Also I agree, if someone loves Joel, why would they read something about him doing that to you/someone?
Thanks for not just ignoring the asks because I know it’s a sensitive topic and I definitely don’t want you to get any shit for this but I’m glad I got to talk to someone about this 💕💕
I completely understand and share your opinion. that's just the thing, people will have different opinions and preferences, and if those writers want to dwelve into Joel's character this way, that is their business. it does become a problem, however, as you said, when fics aren't properly tagged. even if you blacklist a word and they still appear, maybe something's amiss. and again, warnings aren't a must, they're usually given as a "by the way, here's what this includes" but in my opinion, if we're talkin about sensitive topics such as mental health or in this case SA/dub-con etc., these things always should be tagged.
and again I reiterate, this is just my - and your - personal opinion, not telling anyone what or how to do things. it's just very concerning that unproper tagging and some of the ideas some people have can cause someone to be genuinely afraid to go into the tags for their comfort character. I'm really sorry you feel this way darling. it shouldn't be this way. and certainly not with a character as comforting and pretty heroic as Joel, who is probably one of the most protective and kind-hearted characters ever.
but as I said before, I aim to have this blog as a safe and open space! I hope you find some comfort in the fics I reblog here because yes, some are smut, but you won't ever find triggering topics here (hopefully) ❤️
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pickledworms · 5 months
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That one time Oliver died (or how Oliver got his ghost powers)
Written: October 25 & 26th
Trigger warnings: Brief death of minor, disturbing descriptions of the afterlife, claustrophobia & overall dark themes. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!
Also also sorry if the writing is wonky at parts lol
For a moment, everything just stopped. It wasn’t like time froze or was going slower, it just didn’t exist. He didn’t like falling or drowning really, he couldn’t even feel at all. It wasn’t even like numbness, or just a lack of feeling. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t even scream if he wanted to. Hell, he couldn’t even think nor want. He couldn’t even see color or even black. He wasn’t even a thing, not an animal, human, not a boy, not a man. For a brief moment Oliver was nothing at all.
Then, in the blink of an eye, it quickly all came back and Oliver woke up. He was freed from the nothing and became as he was, a human boy. He blinked his eyes for a moment before darting them around. The nothing now surrounded him, it was just all black, like a dark room where you can’t make out anything. Yet it wasn’t a finite space, just an ending void of darkness. What Oliver didn’t notice right away was that he was actually falling, he felt his stomach drop. Before he could do anything else he smashed into some sort of metal thing he couldn’t make out.
“FUCK-“ He finally screamed out as his body tensed up. It echoed across the darkness. The pain was immensely horrible and unbearable, almost like he was about to die. It was only for a brief moment however. He was able to quickly get up, and tripped onto what felt like some sort of ground. He couldn’t even make it out properly, it welp, like everything else, looked like nothing. Oliver stumbled up and turned around. He squinted a little, making out of some of train tracks but it was too dark to see them clearly.
“HELLO…? HELLLOOOOO…?” Oliver tried to call out, his words just echoed. “IS ANYBODY HERE?” He cried out again, only for his words to just echo at him again.
Suddenly flashes of light bursted all at once, Oliver covered his eyes for a moment, shutting them tight. Before he slowly uncovered them and reopened them back up- to see a bunch of street lights (looking from the 1880s of sorts) lining up next to the train tracks, which both the train tracks and lights seemed to unending. Oliver finally looked around to see that in the middle of this darkness was some sort of train station. Right behind him was a waiting area and there was a ticket booth right beside him. Everything looked ripped out of the 1880s, it was quite eerie.
Oliver walked over to the ticket both, only to see it was closed up. “Holy shit, I know my dreams are weird, but this has got to take the cake..” he mumbled to himself. “Okay, think, how do I get out of here..” He peered over at the unending train tracks, they have to lead to somewhere.. right? “Maybe if just follow them I’ll wake up-“ He told himself.
“Don’t waste your energy..” A deep voice suddenly spoke. Oliver jumped a bit, nervously half turning around, he looked up, seeing a lanky figure about to enter the ticket booth. His face was skeletal, and wore a long black cloak over his body. The figure held a long scythe over his back as well. “It’s unending, you’ll just return back here if you’re running on foot.” The cloaked figure continued.
“Are… Are you-“
“Yes.” The figure interrupted. “I’m a grim reaper, no there is not one grim reaper, there is multiple, and no this is not a dream, you’re dead. You died. OH- and my name is Paul.” The reaper named Paul boredly spoke, adjusting his sliver name tag.
“Wh-… what- WAIT I’M DEAD?!”
“YES, I just said that you died.”
“Yes, sorry- but what did I die from though?? Did someone kill me? Did I die in accident-OH GOD please don’t tell me I died in a stupid way that would be really embarrassing-“
“COOL IT.” Paul shoved his head in front of Oliver, giving him that “talk to the hand” signal. “I need to get out my paperwork to find that out okay? Just try to think back to how you died though.”
Oliver shoved Paul’s hand away in annoyance and looked to the abyss looking ground. He pondered, trying to dig through his day so far from what he could remember while Paul just looked through his paperwork in annoyance.
“So…” Oliver thought to himself.
“I woke up,
Skateboarded to school,
Slept through math class,
Then a bunch of other classes happened I guess,
Lunch
I skipped 7th period by hiding in the boys bathroom
And I Skateboarded home.”
Pretty normal day so far, so where do you fit literally dying in the equation? He tried to remember what happened afterward, but it was all just blurry. He was skateboarding across the crosswalk… but then red… Red? Like blood red? No.. a red light… and a blue car?
And the blue car didn’t stop, it was going fast and faster. Oliver was just paying attention to the crosswalk and red light, he had his headphones in. Oliver was looking at his phone. By the time he looked up it was at the last minute and-
“It says right in my paperwork you got hit by a Blue pickup truck, it was supposed to stop at a red light but it didn’t. YIKES, that sucks man.”
Oliver just stared at Paul, as he lifelessly looked back at him. Oliver’s eyes began to water. This can’t be how it happens. He can’t really be dead.. He has his life ahead of him, he had a family, he has friends. They’re going to miss him if he leaves, he’s only sixteen, he can’t go now. It’s not his time yet! It can’t be!
“It’s not fair.. this.. this isn’t fair.”
“Look kid, like life, death isn’t fair, once you get into whatever afterlife you end up in, you can lament on how unfair your life was. I don’t get payed to do this and I don’t got all da-“
“RECHECK YOUR ALL PAPERWORK-“
“IT SAYS YOUR CAUSE OF DEATH, if you were alive, you wouldn’t be he-”
“I DON’T BELONG IN WHATEVER THIS IS OKAY-“
“PLEASE DON’T INTERRUPT ME-“
“Sorry guy-“
“P A U L, my name is PAUL!”
“Yes sorry PAUL, can you please just recheck them, I swear there’s a mistake.”
Paul sighed to himself, looking down in annoyance at the distressed Oliver. “If it’ll shut you up, then fine. I don’t have all day though…”
“Thank you…” Oliver whispered.
“Oliver Makris…” Paul read aloud from his paperwork. “Born May 14th, 2007- sixteen years of age, transgender male… DIED by getting hit of a car… placement:… the nothing?”
“The nothing?”
“Where we’re in right now is the nothing…”
“But how can it be nothing when there’s a whole train station here..?”
“Because everything that surrounds it is nothing-“
“And I’m supposed to be in the nothing?”
“No.. I mean yes, you’re supposed to be placed somewhere, like heaven, hell or limbo.. but you’re not. Your placement is here… do you have a ticket on you?”
“A ticket on me..? Why would I have a ticket on me?”
“If you’re dead, you’d have a ticket to where you’re supposed to be, whether it be heaven, hell or limbo. It should be in your pockets.”
Oliver scrambled a bit, quickly checking his jacket pockets. Nothing. He tried each of his many pockets on his cargo pants. Also nothing.
“Ah shit…” Paul muttered.
“Does this mean I’m alive??”
“No this means you’re dead but you weren’t supposed to die, there’s been a mistake of sorts..”
“A mistake… how?!”
“Beats me.” Paul sighed to himself and rubbed his tired eyes. “GREAT, this is going to be a pain in the ass to deal with..”
“Well, can’t you just send me back to the living realm?”
“It’s not THAT easy, I can send you on the limbo train with the other earthly ghosts but that doesn’t mean you’re going to end up.. welp, alive again. People who come here are dead, if there ever even was the chance that you could go back to the proper living realm- it’s highly likely you wouldn’t be fully alive..”
“Fully alive? So, I would be.. half dead?”
“Basically, in a nutshell, once you’re here, you can’t un-do the damage. But if you’re not meant to be here and leave… either you’re a ghost because the universe doesn’t realize it’s mistake or the universe does realize its mistake and leaves you half dead instead as compensation. The ladder doesn’t happen very often.”
“Well, even if it’s rare being half dead doesn’t sound TOO bad, it’s better than being dead entirely! I mean, unless it’s like emotions, feelings or morals, a part of me dying doesn’t sound too bad.”
Paul gave Oliver the most annoyed glare, and just pinched the sides of his non existent nose as he let out a hefty sigh. “Lemme explain this in a way you’ll understand: You won’t be fully human anymore, you wouldn’t be a fully living being. You’ll be a ghost-human, you’ll be part ghost. You’ll have to be in a ghost form along with your human form. Being part ghost usually sucks.”
“I.don’t.CARE. I would rather be half dead then not alive, what are we going to do at this point? If I wasn’t to return would I just stay here?! IN THE NOTHING??”
“Probably..”
“PROBABLY??”
“Look I’ve never dealt with this before okay…”
“Clearly you don’t like your job and you don’t have ALL day, wouldn’t it be easier if you just sent me on a limbo train? I mean, I shouldn’t be here- wouldn’t you get in trouble if I did stay here?”
Paul pondered to himself for a moment, as Oliver nervously looked back at him, as he fiddled his hands around. Paul sighed again.
“I mean you are right… and You don’t care about the risks clearly.. and I mean there’s only two ways this could go. Fine. I’ll send on the limbo train..”
Oliver’s eyes lighted up. “YES YES YES! THANK THANK YOU SO MUCH!” He cheered. “I COULD KISS YOU RIGHT NOW BUT THAT FEELS A BIT WEIRD TO DO SO I WON’T!”
“O k a y then- well, now you just need to find a way to sneak you onto the train now.”
Oliver immediately just froze and stared at him. “what?”
“What? You thought you were getting on there ticketless? If you don’t have a ticket, then I need to sneak you on.”
“Won’t you… well, WE, get in trouble?”
“If we don’t get caught we won’t get in trouble. Really I’ll get in more trouble if you’re here, and it should be easy to sneak you on.”
“And I would do so how?”
“Luggage.” Paul went into his ticket booth and rolled out a large suitcase. He unzipped it revealing the inside. Oliver just stared at the suitcase and up at Paul. “Won’t I suffocate in there?”
“For the millionth time, YOU ARE DEAD. Dead people do not SUFFOCATE OLIVER-”
“Okay okay GEEZ- well, is there at least a plan-“
“You get in and I zipper it halfway. The limbo train will come soon along with the ghosts that need get tickets for their proper afterlives. I throw the suitcase in the luggage department, then once the train gets going you leave the suitcase. There’s an emergency door to get out the train, when the train comes to a stop, you immediately sneak out the department using the emergency door and leave. And hopefully you’ll either wake up or you might just turn into a ghost.”
“Okay… but isn’t there another opti-“
“No, now get in.” Paul immediately shoved Oliver into the suitcase. Oliver yelped being shoved in. “You sure this will work?”
“I mean it worked for other situations?”
“There were OTHER situations?”
“Yeah, we don’t really talk about those… - anyway the limbo train is probably going to be here in a couple minutes.”
Suddenly the sound of a train horned boomed and echoed in the air.
“Scratch that, it’s coming RIGHT now-“
“OH- oh geez, wow this is going fast- well thank you for helping me Paul, you’re a pretty neat guy and I hope one da-“ Oliver anxiously sputtered out as he watched the train make its way in the distance. Everything was going so fast now, or at least it felt that way.
“Okay- wonderful- thanks, BYEEEE-“ Paul quickly interrupted as he zippered up the suitcase and carried it over his hands.
He watched as the train made its way to their station and stopped. A horde of ghosts came out of the train, waiting patiently in a single file line by the ticket stop.
Everything was completely dark again, yet this time Oliver wasn’t part of the nothing. He felt trapped in the suitcase, even if he could peek through the little unzipped area. He couldn’t hear what Paul said to the train conductor, he was too terrified to try to listen, besides everything sounded like muffles. After hearing that muffles of a conversation that sounded like it was taking forever, he felt the suitcase be given. to a train work before suddenly felt the suitcase being violently thrown in the pile of other suitcases.
Oliver loudly yelped before covering his mouth. “The hell?” A voice spoke. Oliver froze up, his stomach felt like it was violently twisting and the walls in the suitcase were getting smaller and smaller. “Huh, must be me” the voice spoke again, before a couple of footsteps and a loud slamming of a door was heard. Oliver still froze there, not trusting leaving the department just yet. Everything was silent for a moment
Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, all of the suitcases (including Oliver’s) began to violently shuffle around the room. The train was finally moving. Oliver began to breathe heavily, he desperately tried to kick himself out of the suitcase but that wasn’t working well.
Oliver stuck his arm out of the opener area of his suitcase, he felt himself being thrown around more and more. He desperately tried to pull on the open area, desperately trying to open it up. Oliver felt like he couldn’t breathe, like everything was closing in on him. The room began to spin around and around, his stomach began to twist more violently.
Oliver closed his eyes tightly. “Don’t panic, do not panic, it just makes it worse” he whispered to himself. “I should probably also try to actually unzipper but I can’t really reach the zipper lying on my back. I need to get back on my feet.” He thought to himself. He took a deep breath, held it in and violently kicked the the top of the suitcase. He saw the opening slightly get a bit bigger just a smidge, he quickly put his out of the opening again and tried to reach around for the zipper.
Oliver felt the suitcase being thrown around again, as it smacked around into the walls. Suddenly he felt the suitcase go up midair, and slammed up against the walls. He quickly leaned back against the wall, and grab the zipper. He desperately began to pull out, slowly it unzipped, the suitcase opening getting larger and larger.
“YES! YES YES YES!” He quietly cheered to himself. Oliver began to climb his way out, head and arms sticking out. Suddenly, the train came to a halting stop, and Oliver fell face first again. “NO NO NO NO” he stuttered to himself. Oh god, is this stop for real? Oh god he didn’t think it would go by that fast, he needs to get outta here. They might come back soon. Oliver pulled the zipper back, listening as he heard the footsteps of someone coming by. “Come on, come on!” Oliver cried out as he tried to unzip and shove himself out.
He heard the door unlocking when finally the opening was big enough. He quickly crawled out and tried to get up, but fell to the ground again. He looked up, to see the the unlocked door that connected to the train, and standing above him, an annoyed skeletal train worker. “WHAT THE HELL?? WHO ARE YOU?”
Oliver slowly got up and stared at him for a moment. “Umm. Umm, ugh-“ he slurred out, he turned around to see that emergency door, waiting there for him. His ticket to freedom. “BYE!” Oliver quickly ran away, shoving out the emergency door. “WAIT WAIT, SHIT FUCK, COME BACK-“ the skeletal man cried out as he tried to follow him.
Oliver fell right into some grass, he couldn’t process what location he was in, he just kept running and running, not looking back. But he felt himself slowly fading away, like he was disappearing. Before the skeletal worker could get close enough to grab him, Oliver was gone.
Everything was dark again, but only for a moment. Then it was just a blur.
“Oliver?!”
“Is he dead?? He looks dead-“
“Shut up- you’re not helping! Just check his pulse again.”
“OH WAIT HE’S WAKING UP-“
Oliver eyes slowly fell open. Everything was incredibly blurry at first before he rubbed his eyes, slowly sitting up from the park bench. Oliver stared up at his friends.
“Holy shit Dude, we thought you were a goner.” Noah spoke in awe, helping him get off the bench and get back on his feet.
“NO- NOAH thought you were a goner” Finn groaned, also helping Oliver up. “I’m just glad you’re okay, you really took a tumble there.”
“What the hell happened?” Oliver mumbled, rubbing at his head.
“Some asshole in an ugly ass blue pick up truck decided to ignore a red light and he umm… well he HIT you.” Noah awkwardly spoke. “I mean I don’t think it was too bad, it’s not like you went flying… not that it was good either-“
“Does anything hurt?” Finn asked, examining Oliver.
Oliver just shook his head and dusted himself off. “It better not- I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I BROKE SOMETHING I’M GONNA GET AUNT MATILDA TO SUE HIS ASS. I’M GONNA DRAG HIS ASS STRAIGHT TO HELL- That stupid FUCKER- GODDAMN IT.” He shouted, enraged as he began to rant, waving his arms around manicly.
“Okay, yeah, you’re probably fine- let’s get you to your Aunt though, we shouldn’t be too far from the cake shop… OH and you DEFINITELY should see a doctor.” Finn sighed. Oliver quietly nodded as Finn picked up their skate boards and the three began to walk home.
“How long was I out for?” Oliver asked as he looked around.
“Like… about 5 minutes?” Noah guessed.
“Damn, It felt a lot longer… I think?” Oliver asked. Oliver felt like he had went somewhere while he was knocked out, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. All he could remember was all black. Oh well, it probably wasn’t too important, besides he bigger worries, like if he got a concussion or sprained something. Although, strangely enough, he felt completely fine. Must be the adrenaline.
The end
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phecdasolar · 3 years
Text
Dream is immortal. He’s lived for a very long time already and will continue to live far past the limits of everyone else alive now. Once upon a time, Dream wasn’t Dream. Dream was Cornelius, and Cornelius was happy. He had a husband and together they adopted a son. Things were alright for the three of them, they lived their lives peacefully.
However,
Good things don’t always last.
Their cozy village turned into that of a breeding ground for madness itself and Cornelius fell as it’s first victim.
Or so everyone else thought.
Back to the other two, a distraught cat man held the bloodied body of his love close and wept, as the broken child stood behind him, muffling sobs that refused to quiet. Like this they were found by the villagers, those puppets of chaos and wrath, muddled with madness. They sought not logic but craved instead vengeance and bloodshed so it was that the grieving family of now two was put on trial, the child being spared but forced into a grief so violent those earlier sobs he could not muffle were silenced for good as he watched the one he called father plummet and burn.
The orphan was an orphan once more.
And so it was that the next day passed and the dreary toys of insanity’s cruel meddling struck the shattered boy down as well, him unable to defend himself but at the same not wanting to.
They had taken all he had, stripped him of all that he had loved and so the lonely orphan had no one nor nothing left to live for.
He walked into the cell and for the first time since death had claimed his father he smiled.
Robin was going home.
A week later a man dressed in green and white with tattered cloaks and a cracked mask burst through the tree line, arriving upon the village he shouted in joy yet was silenced by the sight he found.
No longer was this village a place of hope but of death and madness. Blood coated the ground, bodies lay draped across the square and in his horror ran to the house that he once called home.
It was empty.
Cornelius was alone.
And so the god who could topple mountains with a single word and lay waste to an empire with a mere flick of his wrist wept, for he could not bring back a life.
In his grief he knew could not bring back a life but oh, how desperately he craved to take one.
And so he tried.
(Tw for mentions of attempted s*icide)
He sat in the well and stayed there long after his lungs should’ve failed to function and yet he did not die. He traipsed to the top of the tallest mountain he could find and let himself plummet and yet when he hit the ground he laid there, unscathed and did not die.
He ran himself through with his sword, wrapped a rope ‘round his neck and swung from the tallest branch he could find and yet he still did not die.
(End tw)
The gift he had that seemed like a blessing to anyone was not that but a curse.
He could do nothing to relieve his pain, the crippling agony of once again being alone, he realized.
So he picked himself up and cleaned up his home. He dug graves and laid the bodies down to rest as there was no one left to do it themselves. He found large stones and carved into them the names of the fallen. He emptied the village of the blood that littered it and burnt the jail cell to the ground.
A distance from the village, into a little clearing he knew well was where he laid two headstones, carved with more care than the others. This was their meadow, the place where he sat with his head on Kat’s shoulder, hands intertwined as they smiled and watched Robin play amongst the flowers, giggling to himself and making flower crowns.
Cornelius sat in the middle of the clearing, now devoid of any laughter, facing the headstones. He sat and he bowed his head and he did not move as tears fell from emerald eyes and drenched the grass below and he did not move as the day turned to night and the night turned to day or as the grass grew and flowers wilted and sprung anew and time passed.
Cornelius did not move but instead dreamed.
He dreamed of better days and a better time where he was happy and loved and loved back just as strongly. And so when enough time had passed for the seasons to turn anew, he got up, and after placing two flowers on the headstones belonging to the dead pieces of his heart, Dream walked away.
For Cornelius was happy, but Dream only had just that: his dreams.
————————
I made my discord cry with this so imma make you guys cry too :)
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yankpop · 2 years
Text
Yandere Johnny (NCT) - You try to break up
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Summary: Your attempt of breaking up with your boyfriend doesn't go so well.
DISCLAIMER: This is a FICTION work only made for entertainment purposes so please don’t take any of this seriously. I do not support or encourage any type of abusive behaviour. Please, be 18+ to read this, no minors are allowed. Make sure to read the trigger warnings before you get started, but almost everything is yandere and includes toxic behaviours.
All copyrights belong to @yankpop (aka me) so do not post/translate my works on any other platforms without my consent/knowledge.
Check more: Masterlist.
Female reader
WARNINGS: Physical violence (chocking); toxic relation.
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“What did you just say?” Johnny questions you, his figure getting bigger as he slowly approaches, causing your heart to beat faster as you’re unable to back out, already pressed against the wall.
“You want to break up, uh? Well, I'm not sure that’s a great idea.” his face holds a neutral expression, appearing calm yet his tightly closed fist gives him up. You nervously gulp, pressing yourself harder on the wall, hoping to just disappear into thin air. The tall man inevitably comes closer to you, leaning onto you and placing his forearms on the wall, supporting his weight onto them. You shock your eyes close, not daring to face him with such intense proximity.
“I think you’re just very confused, babe.” his warm breath brushes against your ear, his dangerous low tone sending shivers through your spine. So many thoughts run through your head: why did you think it was a good idea to confront him about breaking up? Why didn’t you just leave and not look back? Why did you ever date him? You start regretting every action of yours as fear runs through your veins.
“Johnny, I-I’m really sorry, I-” you gag on your own words, unable to think properly. How the hell were you going to get out of this mess? “I didn’t mean-” his hand roughly rounds your neck making you gasp, your eyes flashing open at his action. The cold rings hurt the sensitive skin as he tightens his hold on you, leaving you breathless. Your own hand desperately grasps his, in a weak attempt to free yourself yet you’re no match for his strength.
Johnny lowers himself until his face is at the same level as yours, his sinister dark eyes piercing right through you as your life is literally in his hands. A sadistic smirk on his face as he watches you struggle to breathe. “Hurts doesn’t it? When you need something so desperately yet you can’t have it?” your foggy mind barely registers his words, your body starting to lose its strength. Black dots emerging in your vision as you gradually start losing consciousness, feeling the life slowly slip from you.
Suddenly Johnny lets you go, causing you to painfully fall on your knees. You violently cough, your hands on the ground as you try to calm yourself.
“Now you know how it feels.” he whispers, kneeling in front of you, a satisfied expression on his face. His hand reaches for you, and you flinch, tensing up at the thought of him doing it again. Johnny lets out an amused chuckle at your reaction, his long fingers softly caressing your hair.
“It’s best if you don’t test my patience again. It’s not like I enjoy hurting you but sometimes you need to be taught a lesson. But you learned your lesson and won’t do that again, right?” you frantically nod, not daring to say a word. Johnny flashes you an appreciative smile and kisses the top of your head in a loving manner, like the past 5 minutes had ever happened.
“How about we grab some lunch now?”
-
Tags:
@mwitsmejk
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