#I’m the WRONG type of ADHD for this lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honest-moth-of-silver-grove · 6 months

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Hello!! I saw you were doing match ups and that's so cool! I was hoping to participate if that's okay! Could I possibly get both male and female matchup? No poly please !

I'm nonbinary but i am physically fem, 5'5, with a bright red mullet that's like sorta grown out? Soft looking. My fashion sense tends to vary depending on my mood. Goth one day, cottagecore the next type of thing. One thing that's always a constant is my spiky earrings, kinda like the Fangs preset from the game! Necklace and my two bracelets. If I ever take them off I feel disgusting and off

Positive personality traits wise, I'm caring and selfless. I tend to be pretty cheerful and optimistic, goofing off. I think I'm smart? The most basic things tend to confuse me but then I'll bust out some complex knowledge lmao. I'm pretty creative too! I create stuff out of basically trash lol. I made a whole shield and sword sheath from recycled cardboard once.

Negative traits wise, I'm overly selfless, tending to put others before me. I'm very forgetful but thats cause of adhd. I can be messy and far too loud. Oblivious to a lot of things. I'm a big scaredy cat too which makes it hard to enjoy some stuff. I also tend to hide my negative emotions

My love language is definitely quality time and gift giving. Heavy on gift giving.

I have all kinds of hobbies but I'm not particularly good at any of them. Like video games, writing, arts and crafts, painting. And active stuff too like skateboarding. But uh. To be completely honest my main hobby is just sleeping forever lmfao

Likes: savory foods, coffee, aesthetic stuff, all kinds of animals, dressing up, reading, anything adrenaline inducing like rollercoasters, rainstorms

Dislikes: i cant eat any kind of fish/seafood I will gag, spiders, snakes, being vulnerable, people being mean (I seriously don't understand how people can be mean), the dark especially if I'm alone

Thank you so much! I hope that wasn't too much- or that I missed any requirements lol. Have a great week!!

A/N: Okay, for you @lord-westley … I’m thinking for romantic matchups your best bets would be… Gale (Male) and Karlach (Female)!

Gale is a great match for you, as he’s quite similar personality wise. He’s kind and selfless; smart but also somehow clueless? He’s got a good spirit, and an old soul. He wants someone he can share his life with, and thinks you’re just the person to do that with.

He thinks you look fierce, for real, he’s almost intimidated by how good you look, especially your hair. It’s bright and bold and something he’d never have the courage to try. It suits you, and it makes him feel all the more special for being with you.

His style is fairly consistent, and he’s not the most fashion savvy, but he does appreciate a good look when he sees one. Be prepared for a bunch of horrible puns, and awkward attempts at flirtatious compliments. He wants to tell you how much he loves your look, it’s just that it comes off wrong more often than not. Please don’t be mistaken- he really does think you look great. It’s just that loving words aren't his strong suit.

He loves how caring and selfless you are. He quite admires your capacity for compassion. He likes to think of himself as selfless, but he’s also aware that’s not the truth. But for you, it is. And he’s so honored someone as pure and kind hearted as you would choose him as your partner.

He’s also very grateful you’re smart. At least, that you’re smart enough to sort of get some of what he says about magic. He has a tendency to infodump, and he really likes it when you make comments or ask questions that let him know you’re listening. And your creativity, good heavens! He’s so impressed. He thought as a wizard, he’d be able to think outside of the box, but his imagination is no match for yours. Thanks to your builds and use of garbage, he’s starting to rethink the way he goes about spell casting and brewing potions. Your perspectives are actually helping make him a better wizard.

He does worry that you’re too selfless, though. He’s been used by powerful beings before, and he’d hate to see you get hurt similarly. If he thinks someone is taking advantage of your kindness, he won’t hesitate to bring it up to you. He just wants you to know your time and effort has value, and it should never be taken for granted.

He’s understanding when it comes to your fear. He thinks it's rather healthy to be afraid, especially of death. It shows you have a lust and respect for life. He’s glad you understand the enormity of what it means to live, because he wants you to protect your life so that the two of you can grow old and gray together.

He will give you gifts! A lot of them are favors done via spells, but a good amount of them are physical presents. (Many of which may have previously been magic items that have since had their magic drained, but hey! It’s the thought that counts, right?!)

He loves savory foods! He can’t wait to show you his extensive wine cellar and kitchen in his tower in Waterdeep, and feed you his especially _ sauce. It’s full of flavor, it’ll knock your socks right off!

He may not be a huge fan of adrenaline inducing activities: he much prefers the safe mental exercise of a good book. But he will join you on occasion, so long as you promise him it’s mostly safe. (He may or may not ask Shadowheart to cast Guidance on the two of you before you leave, but then again, he’s just covering his bases!)

Thanks to his arcane knowledge, you’ll never be in the dark. He can conjure light to ensure you’re not afraid. And he vows to always be by your side, so long as you’ll have him, protecting you, just as you protect him.

Karlach is also a great match for you! She’s a very upbeat person, and she loves your loud and creative energy, it makes her feel like you can keep up with her and match her own outgoing personality.

She loves your style, especially the bright red hair. That is her color after all. And she’s obsessed with all the new looks you combine and create. Everyday she’s basically shouting at the other members of your party, ‘Come look at how hot/cute my partner looks!’. It’s a bit over the top and embarrassing at first, but she means it in the best, most sincere way. If you ask her to stop, she’ll stop. But otherwise, be prepared for compliments, like ALL of the time.

She loves goofing off with you, pulling pranks and just having a little fun in between missions. She’s a firm believer in taking breaks- it keeps you sane. She’s fairly intelligent too, I mean, she’s not a scholar or anything, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders and so do you.

She thinks it’s incredible how you can make something totally new out of garbage, or old unwanted scraps. It’s both your resourcefulness and creativity she finds impressive.

She has no problems with your being messy or loud, even if other people might. If they have an issue with it, she’ll join in, and make it a point to be messier and louder than you. And if anyone still has a problem, she’ll take care of it for you. She’s a big strong woman, and she understands how scary confirmation can be. She does her best to make the world around you a little less frightening.

Kalrach strikes me as someone who would enjoy doing almost any hobby outside of being forced to fight. I mean, she also really loves a good battle, but she’s down for basically whatever. She’s so ready to try everything- to make up for all the time she missed down in Avernus. She’ll do anything or go anywhere with you. She’s especially excited for any adrenaline inducing activities. As a Barbarian, she is 100% there. No questions asked. Also the idea of skateboarding blows her mind. (Pretty sure that doesn’t exactly translate to DND, but if there was anyway in Faerun willing to ride a board with little wheels up and down steep hills or ramps, she’d be your girl.)

Even though she’s adventurous, she’s also cool with just chilling- taking some time to enjoy your company. She thinks you’re adorable when you sleep, and can’t help but want to take naps with you, so long as her engine is fixed enough, and you don’t mind being warm.

She’s fine with you not eating seafood, it’s not that big of a deal to her. You like what you like, right? And she gets that spiders can be pretty creepy- especially the ones in the Underdark. She promises to never make you visit there, and should any of those creatures try and get you topside, don’t worry, she won't let them lay a hand on you.

Despite being a fierce fighter, she’s got a heart of gold. She hates bullies, and people who abuse others. She knows what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that, and it feels awful. She’d never want you to feel that way. So gods help anyone in Baldur’s Gate who tries and bullies you for whatever reason. They’ve just got themselves a _ tiefling to answer to.

Karalch thinks you’re wonderful, and so sweet. You’re precious to her and she promises to protect you. You make her so happy. She’s so glad she’s met you.

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I hope you like it!

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Please Like & Reblog!!!

Happy Halloween!!!

#gale x reader #karlach x reader #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate x reader #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 imagine #baldurs gate imagine #baldurs gate 3 imagine #bg3 matchups #matchups #bg3 #baldurs gate matchups

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2kmps · 17 days

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I’m curious about your writing. Do you have a background with it somehow? Or are you just naturally gifted? And don’t get me wrong, I believe you when you say you’ve worked hard to reach the level you’re at rn (at least I think you mentioned it before) but what how was it like at your starting point? What made you start writing?

Hopefully this doesn’t sound weird or offensive, I’m just genuinely interested bc I really like your writing style!

aside from basic academic stuff, I have no formal education in writing. i've never been naturally gifted; it's because i've been writing for twenty years. my earliest memories were short story assignments in primary/elementary school, that graduated to asking my parents for those plastic cartons of colorful floppy disks that I dedicated specifically to all of my little writing projects (this should really indicate how old I am 💀). they were about as good as you'd expect a 8-10y/o to write lmao

started writing fanfiction around 10-11y/o because I really liked final fantasy 7 and kingdom hearts 2 at the time. and it's just sort of been something I've stuck with ever since.

fun fact: my first fictional crushes were tuxedo mask from sailor moon, piccolo from dragonball-z, and cloud strife from ffvii.

writing has been my only consistent hobby throughout life, and as i've gotten older, I've dedicated a lot of time to improving (mainly bc I am insanely self-critical and nothing I write will ever be good enough), listening to constructive feedback, reading a lot of other works, and just trying to find a style and a tone that I liked most.

for me, I am a heavily detail-oriented and type-a person irl, so that reflects quite a bit in my writing with my prose, descriptions, world building, and character studies. I just like to feel immersed in the stories I create, the stories I read, the games I play, the things I do.

uhhhhh, however, to be completely real-real a lot of my skill comes from the fact I have a severely traumatic childhood that socially isolated me in my most formative years, SO writing was my only real outlet and connection to the world at all, essentially

I'm also pretty intensely adhd and have obsessive tendencies, hence me going absolutely fucking insane when I take on writing projects like OPAQUE and PERSIMMON & INK.

there are a lot of reasons why I write the way I do, but it all comes down to: one day I started writing and I just never stopped.

#.02

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supervillainny · 2 years

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Now I have a diagnosis I feel more confident in making this kind of post. For the record, I have combined type ADHD, I have been diagnosed as an adult, and I have a messy heap of issues and hang-ups and coping strategies propping me up.

In the past two years, though, I’ve been fiercely pursuing a diagnosis, learning everything I can, and watching a load of HowToADHD on YouTube, so here are a few of the ways I’ve made my living environment a little more ADHD friendly.

Note: I share a house, but it belongs to my housemate, and I don’t really have much control over space outside my bedroom so this is limited. 😁

A wall planner! The highlighted bits are the holidays I’ve booked in so far, and stars are birthdays so I can see them coming a MILE away and at some point I might just remember to buy a present. Not pictured: the see through tub under my desk full of Just In Case presents, and the drawer in my chest of drawers full of Just In Case cards. I’m aware of my failings. 😁

A visible clock! Crucially, a visible SILENT clock. I am quite sensitive to sound that I can’t control, and ticking clocks make me slowly ratchet tighter and tighter until I explode. I don’t use this as my main timepiece, that’s obviously my phone, but it’s a good reassurance if my phone is already in my bag and ready to go. I’m horrendous at timekeeping, and as a result I arrive everywhere up to an hour early Just In Case.

A repurposed pencil case for my crochet hooks, scissors and pin cushion, and my pill box! Currently I’m taking antidepressants but I think a lot of it is ADHD self-flagellation, so at some time when the NHS get back to me I’m going to give ADHD meds a try. Either way, the box is essential to keep me on track. (Not just remembering to take them, but remembering if I’ve had today’s dose.) the crochet case is so I don’t lose everything AGAIN. We won’t mention how long it took me to find the pin cushion for this photo. 😅

Lmao this is an excellent photo. For the record - I am not great at remembering that I have things or where they are, so I have sticky labels on my drawers to help me stay organised and use the things I own. I don’t keep clothes in my drawers because I’d spend hours searching them and then leaving clean clothes all over the floor; my drawers are (from the top) toiletries and meds, yarn and embroidery thread (not all of it unfortunately), cards and address book and present wrapping supplies and stamps, and random craft things.

Pinboard of earrings and jewellery! Everything is visible, everything is easily found. I also have two dishes on my chest of drawers to hold stuff I’ve just removed (in like the last… three weeks…) but eventually it’ll all be paired and sorted and not lost or tangled.

Huge wardrobe without doors! I need to see stuff or I lose it. Sometimes I still lose it, even when I see it everyday, but at least I have a vague idea of where it’s likely to be.

Don’t get me wrong, my living space is still a mess, I still regularly lose things and I still have to cease all activity about an hour before an event out of paranoia that I’ll miss it, but at least I’ve got some stuff that helps. 😁

#adhd #actually adhd #adhd advice #things about me

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enrapture · 1 year

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I know ur bi & since ur single whats ur type in men specifically?

I'll make a list! but go in depth. sorry this is a lil long.

-I struggle w/ certain things like adhd, anxiety and trauma so they gotta understand that and accept that and if they still like me afterwards then there ya go lol

-I like depth, fuck the small talk. be different. for ex: lets talk paranormal stories.

-if you’re too distant I’m uninterested lmao

-someone who takes care of themselves. (eats their veggies/a decent amount right, their vitamins, drinks water, works out kinda is just generally in shape. etc)

-men that don't make fun of my likes/hobbies/special interests but try to understand them whether they dislike them or not maybe do research/ get into them bc they know i like them and like seeing me happy.or at least make the effort to hear me boast about them idk fuck. just general understanding would be fuckin cool.

-effort effort effort that shit is fucking sexy as shit to me.

-don't waste my time and i won't waste yours. Be direct with that you want.

-compliment meeeee, I like someone protective. If we can be weirdos together then that’s a match.

-when their words MATCH their actions.

-I'm expecting / used to people treating me like shit. surprise me and be a GOOD PERSON to me in my life lmfao.

-good at communication and know how to healthy communicate their thoughts and feelings, wants and needs no matter how difficult

-men who don't fucking lie. worst thing you could ever do to me is lie, make fun of my interests, talk shit about me, be toxic and manipulate me and use me among gaslight me etc etc. 100pts. I'm very selective with who I let into my life, I have trust issues due to trusting the wrong people and got burned for it many times. scarcity is value. Don't make me regret my decision. men who don't hurt my feelings!!!

-men who like me for more than just my body. who like my personality and shit so much more. 1000pts

-i don't like clingy but i also like the healthy amount of quality time spent together so. I don't need to talk 24/7 i guess but we do gotta see one another a few times or make lil dates or something in order for it to work. it can't be constant to nothing at all. healthy balance???

-I avoid fuckboys like the plague but i can't help but fall (emos, musicians, skaters, skinny, fit, nerds, the funny weirdos LOL. that sorta vibe. etc)

-men who are genuine. gentle. yet aggressive (when its the right time to be) who care about me, support me (call me out on my shit if its not healthy or if im just misinformed and will KINDLY inform me and help me understand/enlighten my way of thinking. Intelligence is soooo incredibly attractive to me, if you can teach me something in some form Its 50pts in my book.

-men who send me stuff like "this reminded me of you, I know youd like this" etc who get my sense of humor and make me laugh. Who try to cheer me up if I'm sad. Men who are open minded, loving, sweet, mean well. caring mmmm

-men who realize mistakes happen and that growing is a process, healing isnt linear as I would with them. Growing out of unhealthy habits and changing for the better:) there is always room for growth.

-if you tease me / are playful / bully me kinda I'll probably end up crushing on you. I like me that are smooth talkers.

-connection is cool, men who have similar hobbies or interests (I like anime, cinephile, video games, reading, art, concerts, exploring, hiking, camping, writing sometimes, music, content creating sometimes, social media stuffs, baking once in a while, photography...) etc. you dont have to have the same exact interests I would prefer you to have your own set to show me that would be cool. but I do like having interests to bond over specifically though lol.

-i guess for an example of men (their body types / personalities) I like are: timothee chalamet, awsten knight, ryan gosling. (abs, arms, hands, eyes, mouths) hnnnnnng everything so sexy FUCK.

-I like men who arent egotistical dickheads. confidence is nice, but if you think you're the shit and are entirely full of yourself youre absolutely disgusting.

-men who are respectful, hold the door, arent afraid to call / video chat. upfront and straight forward, who don't play mind games. direct. sometimes buy me gifts or surprise me with them (I've never had anyone do that. my last relationship they only cared about trips.) nothing wrong with that I liked the trips we went on but i like feeling appreciated idk physical shit is nice too. call me shallow. I like gift giving/ receiving. I do like going on trips but we hardly went on any lol. living is expensive.

-idc how you dress, what you do with your body. don't tell me what i should be doing with mine.

-be my best friend first I don't like rushing. get to know me as i will you slowly over time. lets take our time and feel it out. Who knows it may not be what we want later on. some people like jumping into something immediate. I have to write it out lmfao. that i do not want that or am looking for that. idc if we have "history" or not.

-everyone has things deemed as red flags, struggles, issues, immaturities etc. Lets not be assholes and judgmental pussies. but lets understand and try to grow past them and become healthier better versions of ourselves after all our inner child would want that. change is necessary don't stick to negative habits. be fluid.

phew, I think thats all I can think of at the top of my head atm.

#anon

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tiredarts-main · 1 year

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bored, brain spew time- my experiences with gender are Weird.

born AFAB in the US south, several forms of neurodivergence (Autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, possible BPD but that one’s just a theory), mom was/is very open about gender and whatnot, dad didn’t/doesn’t like talking about it

went to a private Christian school for grades K-3, very “tomboy” like for those years. sometimes asked to be referred to by my middle name because it was more neutral than my first one- not knowingly for gender reasons at the time but looking back that was not cis behavior lmao

never really processed what it *meant* to be perceived as fem/masc/nb until middle/high school years, existed Purely On Vibes until then

Socially awkward disaster for almost my entire schooling time. Had trouble understanding conversation rules (thanks, mostly-unmedicated Autism /s), but with extensive training I eventually just ended up as a robot, silent for fear of overstepping and being rude

did a lot of reading about LGBTQ+ identities in the hopes of being considerate to my classmates

brain clicked with demigirl and/or genderfae for almost all of middle school

quarantine hits and most of my interactions shift to being online. internet kinda defaults to he/him when talking about randos in game lobbies… matter of time until I get referred to as such… and it isn’t uncomfortable? kinda vibe with it??

start experimenting with various labels:

agender didn’t work because I still was okay with being perceived as she/they/he;

bi-gender didn’t feel right either;

stuck with genderfluid for a while but it felt a bit too rigid- like I had to pick which mode I was in constantly to fit the description;

knew it was SOME kind of non-binary but I didn’t know much about the various umbrella and sub-type terms

‘bout a year into quarantine, still in school, making pride pins because I wanted to sell them and make money somehow, did some more research, learned about genderqueer.

and then the lightbulb finally stopped flickering and stayed on.

as of late, I’ve done more reading because a lot of the folks I talk to in Tavern-Frontiers and the surrounding groups are also LGBTQ+. found a label called “gendervague”- gender perception impacted by neurodivergence. while I’m personally not gonna use it as a main label, it definitely fits as a description of the clusterfuck that is my experience with identity

best way I can describe how I identify is “fuck if I know, call me whatever makes it easier.” General vibes I feel with different sets below:

she/her- born with it, used to it, okay with it

he/him- still feels new but I can work with it (I mostly use this when I refer to myself online, to help get used to it)

they/them- good default, not as natural as she/her but also not as exciting as he/him

it/its- :pensive_robot: yeah (nothing really wrong with it, but I’d rather call myself it than be called it)

neopronouns- never tried before, funky and new! (good funky, like a new genre of music- not bad funky, like socks)

#irl shit #textpost #tired talks #long post #random brain spewing #i know this is random #and completely out of the blue- especially for me #but brain go brrrr and since this hellsite is slowly drawing in new blood #I figured I’d ramble and watch the funny numbers do their funny number things #*vague ‘I dunno’ noises*#gender talk #idk how to tag this #I talk about so many identities here #tagging them all feels like spam #genderqueer #nonbinary #tw religion mention

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twothirdsgenius · 1 year

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Tell me about love! Are you in love? Do you want to be? Could you live a life without romantic love? Is unrequited love real love?

oh FUCK yeah we’re starting right out the gate babeyyy. warning, I am going to trauma dump here but in my defense this is all shit I’ve worked through in therapy and so it will be a healthy, polished dump of trauma.

I used to be really nervous about the idea of romantic love? Not opposed but literally terrified of it? I grew up in a house with parents who didn’t love each other, and the frequent arguing and fighting I had to listen to at night when they’d thought I was asleep was just the norm, and I didn’t want that at all.

I’m on the ace spectrum somewhere, but I’m still down 100% with being in love with someone who I consider a partner in the romantic sense. I’m accepting applications now, mutuals hmu 🤙🏻

I think there are many types of love we experience through life and that none of them are inherently superior to the other. The only important thing to me is that love exists in some capacity and for that reason, I do think I would be able to live a life without romantic love but I would prefer not to? I think friendship, loyalty, and companionship are what I desire the most out of a romantic relationship, and that can be experienced with or without romance. Deadass, that’s one of the reasons why I latched onto dnp like one of those filter feeding fish who go for rides with sharks and haven’t let go since. My fourteen year old self was like oh shit it’s possible to actually like your significant other and enjoy spending time with them?

Oh boy. Unrequited love. I don’t have any experience with that as a real adult (yet) but I carried a torch for someone for like four years and it was the most cliche fucking thing in the entire world because he was (and still is) one of my best friends. It was the messiest fucking love triangle you’ve ever seen in your entire life but it was also a raging inferno of teenage hormones and our collective untreated mental illnesses and my chaotic messy home life that ended in? Apologies and forgiveness and acceptance and a very kind, easy let-down that hurt a lot less than I expected it to. Was it real love or just infatuation? I honestly still can’t say lmao but whether or not unrequited love is real love or not, it taught me a lot of important lessons about basing my own self-worth on the opinions of other people and we still do very much love and care about each other to this day. It could have been “real” love, but it was super fucking unhealthy and codependent and it almost killed me in a very real, non-metaphorical sense. That isn’t what constitutes real love to me. Real love to me is a choice you make every day and that feels like the right choice every time. It takes effort and things won’t always be 50/50 because we are flawed human beings with our own individual needs and not machines but it shouldn’t feel scary. I don’t want to have to be scared that my partner will punch a hole through the drywall if I say the wrong thing, because that wasn’t an irregular occurrence in my house. As soon as I got my driver’s license, I was as relieved because it meant I could take my brother and sister out of the house and go to Taco Bell or something while we waited for the worst of the fight to be over. I was always scared that I would come home to see either of my parents packing a bag or something even worse. I think with real love, whether it’s romantic or not, it should always feel safe and not used as a weapon.

Shit this got LONG thank you for indulging me and my adhd meds induced talkativeness anon ❤️❤️❤️ lub you

#ask game #tw domestic violence

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soapiemomorphine · 1 year

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Ok, tumblr hear me out;

Alexander Hamilton may have not been neurotypical???

Like ok, since it was thanksgiving last night it meant it was family movie night; and since we have D!sney + or whatever my sister put on Hamilton bc yeah ig that’s a thing D!sney owns

And? Omigosh?? The musical along with the lil tidbit of Drunk History that I watched with Hamilton(le musical) in it makes me think that he’s a lil neurodivergent???

(This is pure speculation he’s been rotting for a while and these are obvs not primary sources) but his actions being very idk 🤷 based on a logical thought process that is not easily understood by others

His morals and what he thinks is important are different from the majority of people as seen in the publication of the Reynolds’s Pamphlet; and like being able to recall every disagreement you’ve had with a person for over the span of 30 years as seen with his disagreements with Monroe and Burr; and the need to make every disagreement like a contract seems very not neurotypical to me

And correct me if I’m wrong, bc im probably wrong; I mean I only got adhd(combined type) so like executive function isn’t a thing I can rlly do lmao and I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast this morning or any day rlly (but I did just over analyze the actions of a man whose been dead for centuries so 💀) and Idk if it’s like universally accepted either; which is why im asking tumblr (yay!)

So tumblr; was Hamilton neurodivergent or will we never know?

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its-inevitable-lupe · 1 year

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sometimes I don’t even know myself. Like not at all. But I know myself extremely too much that I analyze all details and habits and all I do. I learn so much about myself every month… it would be such a bad sign if you never learn anything about you. I get upset, my mood changes so much. Im a very distracted person. Idk what my intentions are with people. I say yes but I leave everyone. I act like I’m good but then I’m playing you. I sugarcoat my lies, my habits because why? I can’t focus on one thing. I’m very narcissistic.. I’m so selfish at times and I use to think I wasn’t.. but I am. I want to be pleased. I want it my way. I overspeak.. i overthink. I go in circles. I talk so fucking much. I listen but then i dont. Literally I don’t listen as much as I thought I did… I study my ways. I use people so much and before her I would drag them along.. but people use me? Or all along I been using everyone. I crave for love when I don’t give….. I crave for things and I don’t give. I expect everything. I’m the warmest person you can meet… and be outgoing… give you the best version of me. Talk, be there…. But then I completely shut down in such a drastic way. One snap and my mood changes in unhealthy ways. I have never learn to fix it completely but there have been times I been so mad at people that I had to leave the area…. I use to think that I would hide certain parts of me but I’m too open that I will act … I hold grudges to the grave. I haven’t had someone actually break up with me. I have been told and done sooooo many things that I just never really let it hit me or feel on me the hurt. I have used self harm, alcohol that now I think I can potentially be an alcoholic, I even crave it now but I have self control… I used people.. distractions. Maybe why I can’t finish anything.. maybe why I can’t be still… because I just have to keep my mind going a million miles. I use to think I didn’t care enough because I would compare them to me… and dude it’s actually who I really am. I don’t let love in my heart…. I’m scared of loosing something I try to death for. I couldn’t even try with the one I actually wanted because I was distracted and all over the place in my personal live. The only way I noticed the type of person I really was were people who like me and still wanted me with my flaws… and that’s how I’m like tf is wrong with you … I’m such a disaster. I ignore people and they want to still. I kiss and go. I do the bare minimum and gosh…….whaaaaaaat is it that I seem to be doing ok to get them to think I’m worth it? Or are they all sick people wanted to fix a fucked up complicated person…. And the last girl I told her dude I was the PROBLEM.. I’m complicated. I don’t like affection and I can be there and all but I won’t stay and THEY DONT GIVE AF. My crush at work, Two… they really like talking to me. One even after I interrupt her and I’m like omg do I.. and I’m like it’s me ADHD lmao and she’s like it’s okay, it’s not annoying like other people but you do that lol . I don’t know how to erase parts of me and the bad things when it’s me…….. and I hate that people tolerate me. I look thru old things and how can anyone like me years ago. Sometimes I wonder damn that was a real deal relationship because no sane person both would be in something like that and especially long distance????? For years….. there is no way anyone could ever be the same after it. It changed me completely. Nooo medicines to make my head slow… to change me… I want to know a life where I’m myself without needing substances. I’m a hopeless romantic person afraid to be committed and really give and settle for love. Crazy huh

#my thoughts

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sodacowboy · 3 years

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Love feeling like adhd doesn’t fit me and that I might actually be autistic while also feeling like autism doesn’t fit me and that I actually just have adhd

#actually adhd #like I’ve literally been both self and professional diagnosed with adhd so I know that that’s the case #but like it doesn’t completely add up and autism seems to fill the gap really well #idk though because I hear about the common things autistic people experience me I’m just like???#I didn’t do that though so I can’t have autism #but how would I remember if I did that?? my memory is shit and I don’t ask about my past either #one of the biggest things is my sensory issues!#like with autism someone said autistic people experience sensory input in a way that makes it feel viscerally wrong #and adhd people experience sensory input in a way that’s normal but you’re only able to focus on the one thing or are unable to tune it out #IM BOTH Of those things!!!!!#sometimes more one than the other but I definitely experience both #and there’s a bunch of other things too but I don’t wanna type anymore lmao

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reluctanx · 3 years

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𝘽𝙉𝙃𝘼 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉 >> CLASS 1-B. || Fem!s/o

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘿𝙀𝘿: neito monoma, itsuka kendo, sen kaibara, ibara shiozaki, tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, reiko yanagi, setsuna tokage

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 (𝙎) : n/a [?]

-Neito Monoma

!! 🧺 | he’s actually very sweet, just a bit playful with you

!! 🧺 | he cracks joke just to make you laugh because your smile means EVERYTHING to him

!! 🧺 | i’m pretty sure he’s a nerd at color theory and would ALWAYS point out how beautiful your eyes are. even if it has a darker shade, he just knows that it’s a beautiful color that he loves so much

!! 🧺 | he doesn’t let other people touch his bunnies besides kendo, you may also be the exception

!! 🧺 | overly dramatic because he knows you can’t possibly, truly handle his bullshit

!! 🧺 | his teenager crush on you is so adorable, because he’s always in denial. or refuses to admit he have a crush on you

!! 🧺 | seeing that you’re not comparing him to a villain because of his quirk, wether it’s a joke or not. you automatically gain a part of his trust and respect. deadass

!! 🧺 | he bullies people for a reason, and you better deal with that

!! 🧺 | very argumentative, trying to fight with him with controversial topics is useless

!! 🧺 | LET. HIM. TOUCH. YO. HAIR………. pls

!! 🧺 | even if he tries, he can’t keep up late at night. HE WILL fall asleep, so sometimes you’ll be left on read accidentally-

!! 🧺 | when texting… he’s a total different person omg

!! 🧺 | no because if your seat is next to his, he will pass you the answers for the math exam.. (don’t lie, i know you’re a total dogshit at this subject. )

!! 🧺 | he’s a real big fan of Vlad king so you better be prepared seeing some of his merch in his closet

!! 🧺 | seeing you in his clothes makes him feel weird. he’ll try to make fun of you but he’s just really flustered to look at cha’ i swear

!! 🧺 | it’s rare to see him swear, so when he do so.. dear god..

!! 🧺 | HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BODY SHAPE, SIZE OR WHATEVER, HE LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND HE WILL REMIND YOU THAT

!! 🧺 | “you love me o’ sooo much it makes you look stupid.”

!! 🧺 | “don’t tell kendo about this, but i like you. for real.”

!! 🧺 | pronouns first with this man, pronouns = priority, pronouns respected. period.

!! 🧺 | he would be such a simp for you..

!! 🧺 | not obsessive or possesive, per se just jealous in a healthy way

!! 🧺 | “i’m literally a low quality version of bakugo.”

!! 🧺 | THEATRICAL, AS FUCK.

-Itsuka Kendo

!! 🧸 | SHE’S LITERALLY A SWEET HEART *SOBS SOBS*

!! 🧸 | she acts like your big sister sometimes.

!! 🧸 | she’s so shy and intimidated when she gets to date you bro..

!! 🧸 | your hero name? your hero costume? gives no shit, she find everything about you AMAZING.

!! 🧸 | you’re the little spoon, don’t prove me wrong, you’re the little spoon

!! 🧸 | she finds you so cute (especially if you have chubby cheeks, cause like uuuUhhh…)

!! 🧸 | she dresses you up when ya’ll get a girl days

!! 🧸 | she doesn’t know how to cook, depending on your cooking skills; either you get to cook or ya’ll order sum shit idk

!! 🧸 | she have a whole romantic cottagecore playlist dedicated for you whenever she thinks about you i swear.

!! 🧸 | you participates in her activity of : “knocking-down-neito-whenever-hes-been-an-ass”

!! 🧸 | can’t even afford to scold you the first time ya’ll meet, you’re so beautiful *sob sob*

!! 🧸 | if you’re in a social group space, you’re her favourite person, ya’ll are the duo of the friend group

!! 🧸 | “can’t sleep? that’s okay me too.”

!! 🧸 | picky, very picky eater. ya’ll may have trouble ordering something.

!! 🧸 | you’re the ticklish person, she’s the tickler. if you’re not, she’ll helplessly try to tickle you..-

!! 🧸 | “SPIDER, SPIDER!!”

!! 🧸 | your luck booster, i stg

!! 🧸 | she likes seeing you with fake cat ears, you look so adorable in her perspective

!! 🧸 | “LET’S WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE!!”

!! 🧸 | fast typer when texting.

!! 🧸 | you’re her angel, you are.

!! 🧸 | wants to be a make-up artist somedays.. so you better be ready and prepare to be a mannequin.

!! 🧸 | “you’re so weird *faces you* you’re so weird.”

!! 🧸 | 256 HOURS LONG OF TALK AND CHATS WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A LONG TIME FRIEND AT THE MALL

!! 🧸 | she wants to be a princess, your princess

!! 🧸 | SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER HAIR AND SHE WILL FLUSH

!! 🧸 | “why are you so pretty 🥺’

!! 🧸 | cottagecore lesbians :)

!! 🧸 | holding your hands + kisses + pecks on the lips, physical affection <<<<<<<<

!! 🧸 | gives you her stuffies, trust me she have LOADS of stuffies

!! 🧸 | BLUSHES SO HARD WHEN YOU WEAR HER CLOTHES

Sen Kaibara

!! 📢 | you don’t understand, the amount of love he holds for you is HUGE!

!! 📢 | fairly confident when he’s fighting by your side, you give him confidence..

!! 📢 | bad habits to compare your beauty with his

!! 📢 | trying to make him blush? oh honey, you don’t have to try once you have a relationship with him..

!! 📢 | his smile <<<<<<<<<<<<<

!! 📢 | usually quiet but tends to be talkative ONLY to you

!! 📢 | his heart beats faster and faster when you get close to him, but his face says 😐

!! 📢 | “kiss me already, dummy”

!! 📢 | really likes anime actually, ya’ll watch animes or read mangas sometimes :)

!! 📢 | *strokes strokes, scrubs scrubs your hair gently*

!! 📢 | thinks you look so cute in his clothes but doesn’t mention it

!! 📢 | secretly tries to get one of the things you crave for (an item, celebrity’s autograph idk sum shit)

!! 📢 | mockery against you? not on his watch.

!! 📢 | his love language is physical touch *sobs sobs*

!! 📢 | rubs your hand gently to calm you down when you feel anxious

!! 📢 | old times french love songs of edith piaf is his jam..

!! 📢 | hopeless romantic :c

!! 📢 | insecure? not on his watch,

!! 📢 | gives you his juice box to you and only to you

!! 📢 | you’re his first kiss

!! 📢 | BEST HUG GIVER

!! 📢 | the type to put your hair behind your ears

!! 📢 | “you’re my everything..”

!! 📢 | KISSES YOUR CHEEKS INTENSIVELY

!! 📢 | loves to feel euphoric, you make him euphoric

!! 📢 | you get the blower during summer lmao

!! 📢 | buys you loads of icecreams during summer

!! 📢 | go to the heater side during winter, right now, right here.

!! 📢 | everything you ask somethinh, he’ll answer instantly

!! 📢 | want something? dont worry, sen gotchu’

!! 📢 | SIMP

!! 📢 | wants to be someone truly meaningful to you

!! 📢 | you make him feel special for doing literally nothing

!! 📢 | he loves you, so so much.

Ibara Shiozaki

!! 🌱| literally the momo yaoyorazu of class 1-b but more theatrical

!! 🌱| you kinda just already knew that she have a preference for girls

!! 🌱| “mo- mother nature? what kind of silly things are you spouting out of that mouth of yours…”

!! 🌱| you are literally babied by her

!! 🌱| good baker and easily make your favorite dish/dessert

!! 🌱| you’re her top priority, and she carefully pays attention to you. deadass, she’s the type to wipe your mouth with her favorite tissue while she’s talking about a serious matter with her teamates bro

!! 🌱| she’s such a nerd in the rom-com industry, and gets pretty shy when you proceed to do something that is similar to a scene about one of her few rom-com movies. (ex: kadebon)

!! 🌱| she laughs so easily..

!! 🌱| “you’re so precious.”

!! 🌱| she showed all the symptoms of “crushing” back then, and you already knew that.

!! 🌱| everytime you hype her up, she smiles widely

!! 🌱| she’s so gift giving, she can’t leave you without giving you a gift first

!! 🌱| all the gifts you gave her stays safe and sound in her room

!! 🌱| “i might never be your hero, but i’ll be the winner of your heart.”

!! 🌱| she wants you to wear her clothes so ya’ll can match :)

!! 🌱| she’s quite wealthy, so she buys you some expensive gifts that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| always wrap her arms around you everywhere

!! 🌱| teases you but a lot

!! 🌱| she likes to do gardening stuff with you

!! 🌱| full knowledge on plants, every flowers she offers you was because of a characteristic that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| her efforts to be committed in your relationship is so visible

!! 🌱| always slips a little ‘I love you” everydays

!! 🌱| your love, affection and attention is enough to repay her for her consistent efforts.

!! 🌱| gets easily jealous but tries to hide it, but you obviously can tell due to her uncontrollable blush

!! 🌱| as she is so gift giving, you’ll try to argue with her saying she doesn’t need to give her this much gifts

!! 🌱| she gets overwhelmed when you make out of an exam/mission

!! 🌱| loves to give you a head massage while reading a book

!! 🌱| come and stargaze with her >:|

!! 🌱| kisses the back of your hand

!! 🌱| show you off when she have the chance to

!! 🌱| compared to what you may have assumed, she puts a lot of trust in her words when showin’ you off.

!! 🌱| “everyday and everynight, you make me happy just by thinking of your silly little face.”

!! 🌱| HELPS YOU WITH HOMEWORK

!! 🌱| SLEEPOVERS!!

!! 🌱| she felt insecure about her hair, so the fact that you had he audacity to pet her head made her fall inlove with you.

!! 🌱| gets genuinely confused when you laugh at her dramatic behavior

!! 🌱| her humor is kinda bad, so she may laugh at the stupidest thing ever

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

!! 🦈| oh boy, everything would be so wild with him

!! 🦈| you cannot leave the room without giving him a hug first

!! 🦈| awkward, like really

!! 🦈| “you’re the most coolest— beautifulest—…uuh.. person!”

!! 🦈| doesn’t academically succeed a lot, but puts a lot of efforts in his works. every praises you give him makes him smile

!! 🦈| makes you laugh without him knowing

!! 🦈| please, he probably starts to laugh when you start talking too fast because he doesn’t understand-

!! 🦈| in summer, he turns his arms into steel so you can grip against it (since steel is usually cold)

!! 🦈| probably have adhd

!! 🦈| loves to caress your cheeks

!! 🦈| sometimes kisses your little fingers for fun

!! 🦈| buddies to lover trope :D

!! 🦈| uses kaomoji than emojis

!! 🦈| his favorite song is teenage dirtbag

!! 🦈| he requires a good listener as his s/o, because he is a very talkative person and bring numerous topics and persons at the same time when talking to him

!! 🦈| “you’re extra-beautiful..”

!! 🦈| offers a fish related plushie

!! 🦈| shows off his abs for you

!! 🦈| two dumb hoes doing shit trope

!! 🦈| “you kinda remind me of an otter..?

!! 🦈| “wanna be a teenage dirtbag with me?”

!! 🦈| he calls you the popular girl of the school for a reason.. 😭

!! 🦈| calls you tetsutetsu junior when you wear his clothes

!! 🦈| openly admit that ya’ll are in a relationship to everyone

!! 🦈| is actually ticklish himself-

!! 🦈| loves to kiss your forehead

!! 🦈| loves to point out how cute you are

!! 🦈| definitely introduces you to fatgum and kirishima

!! 🦈| he can’t really came up with a petname.. so he’ll give you stupid ones

!! 🦈| as you can tell, he’s clearly not experienced but he tries, for you :)

!! 🦈| okay but power couple

!! 🦈| “if you steal the blankets, i am about to put my cold feets on you.”

!! 🦈| gets out of hands when he’s too excited

!! 🦈| gives you back hugs when you’re not feeling well

!! 🦈| best caregiver 🥺

!! 🦈| adores you

!! 🦈| play games with you :)

!! 🦈| sends you stupid note under the door whenever you’re taking a shit-

Reiko Yanagi

!! 👻|| you managed to get on her soft side when you told her that she wasn’t weird in any ways

!! 👻|| very quiet and patient with you

!! 👻|| really doesn’t wish to disturb or scare you, but she can’t let go of you — you were so nice

!! 👻|| when you tease her.. she’s a blushing mess

!! 👻|| you’re the only person she hangs most of her time with

!! 👻||she thinks that you’re so, so cool.

!! 👻|| doesn’t know how to react to all of your compliments, just knows how to cuddle

!! 👻|| she makes you listen to her favorite genre of music

!! 👻|| she tries her best to make your relationship with her dynamic as possible!

!! 👻|| with that say, praising is one of her top quality

!! 👻|| as much as she doesn’t know how to handle your praise, she can slap you back with her

!! 👻||”hey.. how abour we kiss? uh- um.. if- if you want to.”

!! 👻|| is actually a good kisser-

!! 👻|| her only way to calm you down was to kiss you when you get overwhelmed

!! 👻|| reiko is a really good listener and would literally listen to your 5 hours long story as she stare at you the whole time

!! 👻|| when you mention that her bags were really cool… good job bro, now she loves you

!! 👻|| SHE’S SO CLINGY, LIKE REALLY CLINGY

!! 👻|| unexpectedly good in video games

!! 👻|| “w-whoa.. i didn’t expected you to wear my clothes..you look adorable..”

!! 👻|| gets truly passionate when talking about paranormal facts

!! 👻|| she loves to play with the strands of your hair

!! 👻|| quality time <<<<<<<<

!! 👻|| would always remind you how beautiful you are

!! 👻|| once you have her sweater wrapped around your body, it’s officially yours now because she says so

!! 👻|| soft spokesperson with you bro..

!! 👻|| seems more confident when texting

!! 👻|| she loves taking pictures of you

!! 👻|| she probably wanted to make you visit the beach during the sunset

!! 👻|| she’s so proud of you..

!! 👻|| “oh, you deserve all of the praises of the world.”

!! 👻|| can’t even look at you in the eyes,, you’re so CUTE!!

!! 👻|| never leave you alone, never will or would

!! 👻|| always grips on your shirt so that you don’t get to be lost in a mission

!! 👻|| regularly checks up on you

!! 👻|| gives you LOADS of snacks during lunch

Setsuna Tokage

!! 🐊| COMMITTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP

!! 🐊| literally takes you out everywhere on ya’ll date

!! 🐊| don’t be shy, skateboard with her

!! 🐊| literally asks to be partnered up with you during the sport festivals

!! 🐊| will do everything for you

!! 🐊| have a reptile pet, you’re the only person knowing about that

!! 🐊| CHERISH YOU UNTIL SHE DIES

!! 🐊| “my sweet sweet pumpkin pie!”

!! 🐊| “let me kiss you until you can’t handle me anymore, darling.”

!! 🐊| she loves snuggling to your neck and leave soft kisses

!! 🐊| eyes contact is important

!! 🐊| you’re her favourite person

!! 🐊| ya’ll be ruining your sleep schedule for each other

!! 🐊| you guys always wear something that matches with the other (a hat, item, shirt.. etc.)

!! 🐊| setsuna announces her relationship with you to the class as if she proposed to you in a mariage

aight ya’ll, bye!

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icouldntfindquiet · 3 years

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Van’s personality based on observation only

Feel free to agree, disagree, or add to this post. I want to know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don’t know him personally so take this with a grain of salt. I’m just an obsessed observant fan. 😆

Putting my rambling below the cut because it’s long!

Van is not shy. He’s extroverted and enjoys entertaining people. He’s not afraid to approach strangers and make them feel like they’ve been best mates all their life. Though he is extroverted, I do think he’s introverted as well. I believe entertaining people exhausts him so he needs time to himself to recover. When not on tour or making music, he likes to keep to himself and do his own thing. He’s very passionate about music so he gets lost in that head of his.

I still stand by the fact he has ADHD or ADD. I’m no doctor so I’m not diagnosing him but he does show traits that make me think that. First off, he can’t keep still. He’s always fidgeting...his hands have to be doing something. He also mentioned in an interview that he’s dyslexic and that he’s only read one book in his entire life. On that note, I think he’s exaggerating but maybe the Mike Skinner book is the only “real” book he’s ever read. Also, he says what’s on his mind without realizing that that’s not okay to say (think the tweet to the girl he would’ve fucked).

Van gives me chaotic vibes. He seems like the person to start many projects but not finish them, although he has good intentions! He can’t maintain focus. But once he does find something he’s passionate about—you better watch out! He’s very driven! For example: music. He’s very passionate about music and that’s all he thinks about whether he knows it or not. Going off of passion, I feel like he gets obsessed with things easily and he’ll chase it. For example, if there’s a girl he fancies, he will fucking chase that poor girl until he gets what he wants or is turned down. Like you will definitely know if Van fancies you, haha. But the thing is I feel like he doesn’t know he’s obsessed until he goes too far. I’m sure that’s gotten him in trouble in the past.

Van is very confident. He doesn’t mind being the center of attention but I also think he’s insecure. He says he’s “terrible in bed” and that he’s “not good looking enough” for pictures. I think there have been people in his past that used him or hurt him. This man is like a dog. He’s very loyal to his friends. He will bend over backwards for them but that has hurt him! People have taken advantage of him and I feel like he keeps coming back to these people (because he’s forgiving) but he’s getting better at cutting them off.

Van isn’t an emotional person on the outside (I’ve yet to see him cry or lose his shit) but he’s sensitive on the inside. I think it’s hard for him to express his true emotions unless he trusts you but he will always turn to songwriting which is his diary/therapy. I personally don’t think he has many friends. Only a few he can really trust.

Van loves a challenge. He enjoys pushing people’s buttons to get a reaction out of them, whether it’s to annoy or embarrass them. If you tell him no or to not do something, he will do it (if it’s safe) just to annoy you and he’ll enjoy ruffling your feathers! He’s very stubborn and stuck in his ways. He will argue with you and put up a good fight. Again...he doesn’t know if he’s going too far until he fucks up.

He’s a naturally affectionate person. He loves being close to someone. He’s big on touch! You can see how cuddly he gets with his bandmates. He craves companionship and attention, but mostly he needs someone who understands him because only a select few people in his life have the patience to really get to know him for who he is.

He’s a very honest person. If you need help, he will do what it takes to help you. He’s also blunt and truthful as well. “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” Sometimes he doesn’t know being straightforward can hurt people’s feelings which causes him to take a step back. But he’ll definitely tell you the truth if you’ve got a terrible singing voice! He seems like a give and take kind of person. He’ll listen and give advice but he also expects that in return.

Van is also a humorous person...it’s that entertainer in him wanting to make people laugh. But it’s also a tactic he uses to avoid questions he doesn’t want to answer. I’ve seen SO many interviews where he jokes around and doesn’t answer the damn question! Going off that, he likes to exaggerate the truth and he’s such a liar! Not the bad kind of liar but the type to avoid answering the question or he’s just messing with you. I’ve heard so many reiterations of how the band met that I don’t believe everything that comes out of his mouth anymore.

And here’s the controversial part...I think since it’s hard for Van to maintain focus that it’s hard for him to settle down with one person. I’m not suggesting anything but he seems like the type to chase something when interested, but once he’s got it, he gets bored if ya know what I mean? Unless he’s found someone that keeps him on his toes all the time! He needs to constantly be stimulated. I like to joke he needs to find a female version of Bondy or marry Bondy—either way!

Overall, he’s a difficult person to deal with and you need to be very patient and understanding with him. But once you get past that, you’ll find a person with so much love to give!

Lmao, did you make it to the end? Now tell me what you think! And please have mercy on me! Don’t believe everything I wrote. I’m sure I got some things wrong.

#van mccann #personality analysis #discussion #made by me

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years

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asmr i psychoanalyze hide for fun

a lot of these are just stupid headcanons but a lot are also how i feel that’s just the way he is so

I know no one will read this it’s so very long but hello he’s my comfort character

(the words are under the cut bc THERE ARE SO MANY WORDS)

thoughts: It’s funny because most of the characters that I really love are just fucking idiots. So stupid. No thoughts head empty. And like at first glance you’d think the same with Hide, he’s got the look of a real dumbass, but he’s actually a really smart person? He just kind of, hides it. He did say he was like allergic to books once (it’s the adhd, king) but that doesn’t change the fact that he emotionally is actually a very intelligent person. It’s something he’s humble about because I don’t believe he really identifies with the intellectual crowd or sees himself as particularly above average, he just finds it easy to understand things. And he doesn’t ever use it for his own advantage even when it would be totally fine to do so, he pretty much always uses it to help other people and I think he believes if he used his strengths to help himself it would be, like, selfish. Which is a problem of his.

gemder n brand of gay: A lot of people in yonder Fandom like to see kaneki as bi and hide as gay but nah fam you’re off. Honestly I do not care about his Date With Rize in the slightest, that man is a homosexual. Hide is the bi one. (it’s not like this is a requirement or anything lmao i am just Saying also i’m bi and i’m projecting) I can also say with confidence that date with Rize was the only date Kaneki’s ever been on and he was definitely lying to himself. (i just, don’t know how you could look at Haise specifically and for one second think he has ever seen a boob) Hide’s the one who’s probably dated people before and he actually knows what’s attractive, he probably just doesn’t discuss that a lot with Kaneki since the bitch is Closeted and hide knows this. It’s funny because Hide canonically has two dads. Like I think that kind of explains him tbh. Bitch has good parents??? He’s the only one but we love him for it. U know Kaneki spent more of his life at Hide’s house than his own.

And as to gender, like obviously hide’s a guy, but i think he’s one of the few cisgenders who could like... tell you why. He’s well versed in those kinds of issues and has just thought about it a lot I guess? He’s comfortable in his skin and with a conventionally masculine appearance but he could tell you what Boy TM means other than yo macho man dude bro guy

personality type- ENFP-T: I took the fucking test for him and it was like... so easy. Took me ten minutes.

basically what this means is it just calls him out as a fucken loud ass sunshine boy who has very many emotion and cares way too much about his friend

love how this part of the description describes kaneki and hide perfectly

biggest strength: he’s so good at helping people?? Like I can honestly say if some random person started rambling about their relationship issues to him I’d give him 10 minutes before he had a perfect solution, he had the person crying and being comforted in just the right way. He’s the perfect medium of confident and caring and he’s not just a fucking ray of sunshine on accident, he’s like, mob psycho 100 style actively working to be nice and compassionate. He’s very aware of how his actions affect people and he always knows just the right thing to say, what to do, when to just let things go or when to say them. And Hide will forgive, literally anything, even if someone does something really shitty to him he’ll realize it’s the product of like, unresolved mental issues or something and seek to fix it instead of cutting the person off. It’s... really good for everyone around him. But well,,, not great for him, see below.

biggest weakness: bitch does nOT leave room for himself. Although he is generally a confident person and isn’t very insecure, he knows he’s giving too much of himself and simply ‘pretend i do not see it but in reality i do’. He’s never put himself first and feels more worthy when he makes someone else happy, and it’s really not that visible but it can take a pretty big toll on him. He’ll feel anger and frustration for his problems but eventually he will end up blaming himself for anything that goes wrong and will just resolve to Try Harder. (which, mood) He does problem solve well and he tries to come up with the best solutions to issues but the fact is he just does not prioritize his own happiness within those solutions. He gives too much and it’s fucking killing him.

what he likes most about himself: Although he does have issues obviously, I don’t see Hide as someone who has particularly low esteem of himself. I think he pretty much thinks he has himself figured out and therefore other people’s problems come first. He generally does, think fondly of himself, because most of the time he can fix people’s problems so he’s yknow, a good person. I think he likes his ability to enjoy life and live in the moment, and he likes his connections and friendships with other people. He values emotional connection and he likes that he can easily create and enjoy good vibes. He loves being the one who everyone just... goes to for a good time.

favorite things: I think I heard somewhere that he enjoys dumb american bands without really understanding what they’re saying which seems very on brand for him, but I’m gonna perscribe him some other stuff too. Obviously he likes bright colors and comic books, and places where he can have fun with other people. He generally likes college, even though it’s like, school, and unlike kaneki he actually had a good childhood and he enjoys the places he spent time and formed good memories, he has Nostalgia TM (see unbelievable by owl city hmmm he vibes to that he was born in 1996 or something right i can’t google things) he also just really likes to just, fix other people’s problems but we’ve covered that.

what he’s doing right and what he’s doing wrong: Hide is doing his best. He’s no less flawed than any of the other characters in tokyo ghoul, it’s just that his strategies tend to involve 100% less murder. Ok no, let me rephrase that, Hide is flawed, but i meant like emotionally, he’s not a war criminal like everyone else. He may seem at first glance like, just, perfect? Sorry for being a simp lmao but I feel like from the outside he’s just got it all together right? He knows what he’s doing and he’s super nice and helpful and smart and humble and just doesn’t have any visible flaws? He... tends to hide any evidence that he would ever be struggling. And that’s not very sexy of him. He feels it would be a burden on others to show pain or ever say he can’t take something on (if someone asked him to do something he’d do it even if he was already mentally at capacity etc) and that’s something he needs to work on. The good thing is that if they got to a point where after Kaneki’s Character Development they got to just... like, be happy and not be separated and everything Kaneki would be good for him because he compliments that. Hide helps him because he needs a lot of like, mental counseling lmao but now that Kaneki’s gone through a lot of that his eyes have been opened more to the fact that Hide hides his problems from Kaneki so if they could just bE HAPPY this is an issue that could be resolved

insecurities: I think Hide kind of believes he’s not allowed to be sad. Cause it’s like, not his job. He’s the source of happiness for everyone else, supposed to have everything together so he can fix everyone else’s problems. he’s not allowed to be in pain or feel bad for himself even though he knows “Boys Can Cry” it’s like, yes boys can cry, not me tho haha lmao it’s not about his masculinity it’s just he’s like “yeah but kaneki’s had it worse” so like if he finds himself in a bad place, he feels inadequate and like... fundametally broken. and it’s. Like. I felt that but also like king that’s not how it works

goal in life: I think he wouldn’t really be able to answer that question. What the truth would be is that he probably wants to do something grand and important that helps a lot of people and kind of changes the world. But he might not really think of it that way, since he’s usually focused more on smaller more isolated issues and he has no idea what he wants to do as a career. He admires activists and people who put themselves at risk but it probably makes him feel inferior that someone else is Doing Something About This Big Problem and he’s just sitting there riding around on his bisexual bike and being in college. (I’d like to say he’s probably changed majors at least a few times,,, that man was like “oh yeah lmao i’m gonna be a comic book artist” but someone said something about how he’s a good therapist and he’s like “brb kinshift i am now a psychology major” lmao.) (hello i am projecting but i’m right) He sees a tumblr post about some issue somewhere and he hyperfixates on it for days until he sees another post about something worse it’s an issue. But I think what he ended up doing was what he wanted to, even if he never recieved any recognition for it the internal sense that he was doing something Right TM in the eyes of history would probably make him cry

how he was raised: I can’t really say much to this because there’s barely any canon on this and the canon that does exist I have completely ignored other than the fact that he has two dads. Bro tbh? He didn’t need any tragic emo backstory I think he had a great childhood. Honestly he’s probably a rich kid. Not super rich but he’s not struggling man. Not gonna lie to you I think the only reason he went to Kamii was because he wanted to be at the same college as Kaneki who probably got a scholarship. Hide, didn’t. (it’s not like he’s not intelligent but I don’t really think that his grades are his biggest priority, the only time he ever pays attention in class is to give kaneki the answers when he’s gone)

What irks me about the random lore drop in the last chapter about him having a CCG dad that died or whatever- it kind of ruins the whole point for me. Personally I choose to believe he had nothing whatsoever to do with ghouls or the ccg before all that happened to Kaneki. He probably had correct opinions on them, but only like, in theory, it’s like straight people that are like “yeah ofc gay ppl valid” but they’ve never really had any personal experience with any. So when he gets involved in that- the fact is that the only reason he was... was bc of kaneki. It was never more complicated than that to me. YKNOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST, NICE, OK?

And I think for me that the fact that he could actively choose to be nice and be aware of all these problems when he’s practically got every advantage in life is a lot more important. He didn’t have to be poor or have a dead parent or have a shitty childhood for him to be really genuinely good. I don’t think he’s ever been bullied or anything, but he can still be aware that it sucks to be bullied. I think he was just... raised right. I think his dads are probably pretty fucking baller for him to be such a bro. They taught him the right shit.

General philosophy: Hide is one of the only people in the series for whom the dynamics of right and wrong are not hard to understand. He’s never been required to pick up a weapon or actually truly fight in the CCG, he’s never been really mean to anyone. Of course I can say he’s probably decked a few ppl that made fun of Kaneki in middle school, but haven’t we all. The thing is that though he’s never suffered at the hands of others, everything that’s hurt him he’s gone in fully consenting to it- he can still understand and forgive what everyone else has done. Like bro he’s the literal only one around who’s not like a literal war criminal, but he’s not going to think he’s better because of it, because he understands that if he had been in their circumstances he couldn’t say how he would have turned out.

That’s why I think it’s so important that he never really had a bad childhood- he’s not better than them for turning out without any blood on his hands, because he was never required to. And he knows that and he goes through every day with all these people who have and is conscious of it. He can’t ever say he’s incapable of hurting other people, because he would have said that about Kaneki before all of it happened. So he’s quite politically correct compared to Kaneki and the others but he doesn’t see things that way.

relationship bullshit: i mean bro i know this is a serious post about like psychological and emotional things but i felt the need to discuss whY does everyone write hide as a bottom I mean like sure he’d bottom if his partner was a top but this is simply not the case with kaneki look at him. Hide. Service top. I rest my case. The man’s the biggest switch ever but when he’s a top he’s a nice top. I think Kaneki needs that to be perfectly honest. He really likes to take care of people. Also kind of off topic but his love language is quality time he just wants to play video games wit da homies and he might fall in love a bit

I find it genuinely funny how much i cannot get away from the tentacle porn on the god forsaken archive of our own just looking at the tags i already know it’s so out of character haitoheoihesdsdsa and don’t get me started on the vore

how kaneki sees him vs how he actually is: One of the biggest problems in kaneki and hide’s relationship is how in the beginning, Kaneki didn’t really understand at all that Hide could be hiding anything from him. Kaneki’s not good at picking up clues like that in general, but the fact that he was hiding so much himself didn’t help at all. Hide gives off the vibe of someone who has no inhibitions and shows every side of himself without hesitation, and Kaneki really does idolize that. He didn’t realize that Hide could possibly be suffering or imperfect compared to his vision. He sees Hide as practically an angel, and that’s exactly how Hide wants Kaneki to see him, because he doesn’t want to burden Kaneki with his own problems since he believes they’re not as important and they would make Kaneki sad. Kaneki knew Hide wasn’t as oblivious as he seemed, but he didn’t really understand what that meant until too late. The good thing about Kaneki’s character development though is that it then helps Kaneki understand that Hide was suffering because of him and he didn’t want Hide to hide it anymore (lmao). If they’d only executed that point well that could have been really good but well that’s what fanfic is for

how he sees kaneki vs how kaneki actually is: This one’s a lot more difficult, because well. Hide’s very good at knowing exactly how people are in their hearts, compared to Kaneki. But there are definitely some things that he’s not super up on. He wasn’t around for a lot of Kaneki’s development, so most of the time I think he still believes Kaneki doesn’t want to see his pain, which is, simply incorrect, Kaneki would obviously not be happy to hear it but it would tear him up inside to realize he’s been oblivious to it the whole time. He’s grown a lot more mature since he spent most of his time with Hide, and I really think Hide could benefit from being able to open up to Kaneki the way he is now. And well. I think his biggest misconception has to be that Kaneki enjoyed women lmao

the most him thing i’ve ever done: listening to a happy upbeat song and visibly bopping while also uncontrollably sobbing

miscellaneous headcanons:

-he’s a morning person lmao. Motherfucker gets up at 6 AM and Kaneki is like PL EA SE NO

-what he finds attractive is like. twinks and girls with hair in colors that don’t exist and ppl who don’t know what gender is

-He likes Imagine Dragons lmao you can see by the next point

-his coping mechanisms are mostly music and other people tbh he’s like “oh i am having emotions? disgusting” *goes to a party*

-he plays dnd and he mains a warlock i don’t make the rules

-he doesn’t look like someone who would do that shit but he probably knows how to use tarot cards

-idk how but that motherfucker is so neurodivergent i can smell the hyperempathy on him look at that man he has so much adhd

-he’s fully aware that his fashion sense is terrible and continues to wear more and more ridiculous clothes to piss kaneki off

-this man has tungle dot fuck. Look at him. His url is probably something along the lines of my ao3 username lmao

-he can see the forbidden shrimp colors smh

-this bitch likes mob psycho 100 and the promised neverland, kaneki keeps telling him to watch death note and he’s just like n o hhsdfhhfdshdfshdfs he probably kins tpn emma

-he doesn’t know how to drive lmao he bikes everywhere and he lives in tokyo

-i am once again thinking about how he was in a play with kaneki and kaneki was the main character and he was the spicy side character that’s not a headcanon just. that

songs that are, him:

-Stand By You (Rachel Platten)

-Luck (American Authors)

-Love (Imagine Dragons)

-If I Lose Myself (One Republic)

-Stardust (New Politics)

-Secrets (also one republic)

-Flaws (Bastille)

-100 Bad Days (AJR)

-I Lived (another one republic lmao)

-Battle Scars (Paradise Fears)

-Rise Up (Imagine Dragons)

yeah he definitely listens to this shit lmao

#tokyo ghoul #hideyoshi nagachika #hidekane #kanehide #jesus christ i am hyperfixated #rowan's hyperfixation essays

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shameless-fujoshi · 3 years

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I actually have a first draft outline complete 😭😭

I’ve been working on a YA fantasy series since March 2020 (because this is my first ever novel I had no idea what the fuck I was doing, lmao) and I finally, FINALLY now have a first outline that has a solid foundation.

Now I actually know what to write.

If you’re a plotter like me, and you feel like you need a foundation before you can start writing, don’t let ANYONE tell you that you’re just procrastinating!

Everyone needs to discover their process for themself without judgement.

I’ve been to so many writing webinars over the past two years where there have been “motivational speakers” saying to “get out of your own way” and “just write it already” and while that may be helpful to some writers (probably neurotypicals) for me, I just felt like I was doing something wrong, and ended up beating myself up about it.

Well I was doing something wrong: I listened to them and believed that I must’ve been procrastinating.

Lol, there was even one lady who said “If you claim to have writer’s block, maybe it’s your subconscious saying you don’t want to actually write.”

Suffice it to say, she pissed me off.

Not only had I not yet found my process, but I have ADHD (inattentive type) and I’ve heard that ableist bullshit rhetoric my whole life.

But then I attended another seminar, totally on a whim. It was in this one that I found my process.

I found the missing key that has finally unlocked the story I’ve been searching for the past two years.

I found the missing puzzle piece the “writing experts” told me was just in my mind.

Will this process work for everyone? Nope! But I guess I’m writing this to say that if what you’re doing now doesn’t work, and you have that gut feeling that something is missing, keep searching! You WILL find your process!

In the meantime, don’t let ANYONE, no matter who they are, tell you that if you’re stuck, you must not want it bad enough. That’s bullshit and you deserve better!

#writeblr #writing #adhd writer #adhd #my post

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

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so this morning, while scrolling through my fb feed, i came across an nyt opinion/advice piece from a 27yo (ie basically me lmao) who is obviously lucky, in a sense, to finally land their “dream job using my (their) skills” etc. like obvs i can’t read it bc of the stupid “you get one free article a month if you either don’t have an account or subscription” (my one free article was used up reading an article about adult adhd like last week)….. thing that nyt does.

but anyway. back on topic lol. the crux of the article in both the headline and the quote snippet was that the advice asker was really dissatisfied with the 40 hour work week that came with her “dream job”. with how having this 40hr workweek gave her no time to do her busy chores like house cleaning or laundry or didn’t even give her time to let her have her hobbies/creative pursuits (whatever they were/are).

however, in the comments on the article (and apparently from those who read the article on the comments, the advice/opinion column writer) a good bunch of like gen Xer’s and baby boomers (im assuming) were ganging up on the asker like “suck it up princess, it’s what life is!!! i work 70+ hours a week and LOVE IT and have just resigned myself to the fact that i have NO time left over to do my “chores”! learn to O U T S O U R C E these life admin tasks to someone else!!! everyone MUST LEARN this in america!!! it makes life so much easier ☺️” and such.

of course, there were plenty of the same bs comments that you see on anything about careers or home ownership towards millennials/gen Z’ers about “learn to go WITHOUT and save save save and squander your time so that you NEVER live and HAVE FUN or TIME FOR HOBBIES! my bet is that your parents did that and they survived just fine while also raising your ungrateful spiteful ass (not including any type of health issues they might have picked up from such long hours/shitty working conditions) so why can’t you just L E A R N to do the same you precious spoilt brat!!! because the reality of Real Life™️ is that you can’t have it both ways!!! then you’ll have early retirement guaranteed, hopefully!!! and know that hobbies really are time wasters most of the time ☺️ or at least they were for me!!! and your precious so-called “creative pursuits” most definitely are time wasters. no one needs THOSE.” and so on so forth.

they also had jibes for her bc the asker wanted to start a family at some point apparently… and apparently it’s “much worse” once you have kids. like. thanks geraldine and henry. you’ve just told us how much you’ve resented having your kids/family in one fell swoop. your opinion which you’ve framed as unhelpful, condescending advice is now voided.

like. i don’t know how rhonda or paul or deandra or philip could miss the point so fucking entirely. why the fuck should anyone- nay everyone (bc that’s what they make it sound like)- learn to outsource their busy chores like laundry/house cleaning/grocery shopping or god knows what else- to someone else???? why is that apparently a standard expected to be learnt in the US???

like why the fuck are you so desperate for people not to have free time to do these things (unless of course they live in some of those shitty nyc or other big city apartment blocks that don’t come with individual private laundries in the self-contained flats or a communal laundry on like the bottom floor or w/e for example) frank????

deidre why the hell are you so bitterly hankering about “be grateful that you have it easier than most and learn that hobbies mean jackshit and just sell your soul and time to your boss!!! when will the generation stopping being “me me me!!!” and “work life balance!” and think about the company’s bottom line!! learn that “work life balance” is never important! work like a slave for 50 years and see if your valuable experience is needed then! that’s when you’ll learn that those hours where you were never being lazy, instead of just expecting life to be handed to you, will have paid off!” or whatever other ridiculously toxic capitalist bullshit they were spitting out.

obviously there were FAR MORE people actually supporting the question asker and echoing the idea that the 40hr workweek is now redundant. they were also putting down the opinion/advice piece writer’s advice to the asker….. that was apparently similar to the all the bitter people on the comments saying that the 27yo was just “asking for too much” and had to “learn to suck it up instead of being a petulant and overly selfish dick!!” etc etc etc. we all know the spiel as thoroughly as the macarena now.

because whats so fucking wrong with wanting time to yourself and wanting time to do your busy chores??? why the fuck should i be outsourcing these to other people (unless of course you’re still living at home and your parents are still like “hey what clothes do you need washed i’m doing a load rn” or you have a partner that works from home or has some type of parental leave etc)???? i want to do my own laundry. i want to do my own gardening (ok lawn mowing or tree lopping (if needed) i’d actually outsource bc i can’t lift or push lawn mowers bc they’re heavy af for me or and i obvs can’t use a chainsaw)… but i want to do my own grocery shopping. i want to do my own cooking (although i would consider the meal kit services once i had job that allowed me to afford like $50 a month for one of those meal kits sub services) i want to do my own cleaning.

why, if i lived in the US and not australia, am i just expected to learn to outsource all of these tasks even if i don’t have the money for it??? like why the actual fuck are so many of you so fucking weirdly proud of being absolutely worked into the fucking ground for your “great country” (although this is actually bleeding through to australia too and i hate it); working like literally close to 100 hours a week???

because i wasn’t aware you had to be whatever the fuck his name is from 127 hours and cut your fucking limbs off just to fucking survive a job in either corporate america or just let alone any goddamned job in america….. all so they can supposedly “learn to like working for free and devaluing your worth even more to your employer through overworking yourself and always being available!!! mental health is for those who aren’t built for the Real Adult World™️!!! this person is a prime example of the younger generations being weak and dissatisfied with life so often because of their “oh poor little me!!! care for me!!” act. NO ONE CARES FOR YOU today. stop being so over-expectant/demanding and juvenile!!! only YOU care yourself and you should NEVER expect someone else to pick you up from YOUR bootstraps!!! you’re fucking whiny and conceited babies. the lot of you!!!”

because i honestly don’t know who the fuck would enjoy working 70+ hours week with no time to themselves to do what they enjoy doing…. or enjoy having zilch time to catch up on errands and life admin duties or just general house chores; especially if you’ve moved cities or an entire fucking state/s away from your family and support network. let alone doing the same thing on 40 hours a week.

and on top of everything, let’s not even get started on the time spent commuting to and from work or even commuting for life errands/tasks etc etc- especially if you’re like me and you’re nowhere near the capital city’s centre (ie sydney australia for me) for there to be reliable enough public transport and longer commute times to certain places in those cities (that i’ve bitched about plenty before on other posts on here about work/jobs).

get your head out of your asses warren and viola et al and realise that work life balance is literally NOT ASKING FOR MUCH and is asking employers to just have basic respect for their employees time if they work fulltime. it’s literally detrimental to ones health if they have to sacrifice what feels like (or what is literally like) their entire fucking existence to their employer just for meagre pay and just to fucking survive.

because i read a heart-breaking article last night from huffpost (posted by buzzfeed on fb) about a woman in the US who literally hid her having a second baby from her employer for an entire fucking year (literally the entire pregnancy and birth of the baby and the first 6 months post pushing the baby out) during the pandemic all because she was scared she would get demoted or lose her leading of a project and lose her bs “temp” job which had really turned into full time work although the employer never said anything about it being actually full time hours or whatever…. and plus the lady herself was apparently to scared to ask to be put on the books fulltime too for some weird reason.

like honestly. fuck capitalism. fuck thinking that “work life balance is just too hard for employers to add and regulate. it’s an excuse and ploy for workers to be unprofessional, unproductive and lazy!” or whatever the fuck. everyone deserves time to themselves to pursue their interests/hobbies and busy chores/life admin. no one deserves to waste their entire life working 70+ work weeks for those employers who literally have no respect for their employees personal lives and time.

and particularly during the time that is the pandemic as we’ve seen so many companies having to learn to wholeheartedly embrace working from home and more flexible schedules for their workers. worklife balance is absolutely fucking beneficial for everyone involved.

america fix your bullshit work ethic right now lmao.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona’s job hunting thoughts and woes lmao

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