#I’m up and ready to shitpost | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jhuzen · 1 year

Text

a what? [m.reader]

this… idk what this is. it’s very indulgent so excuse the very chill grammar. my head is hammered by all the hot men in hsr. so here. yes, they won me over (jfc how could they not my god, i’ve been waiting on them for months) ☠️ so here’s a self-indulgent cat-boy alignment from some tall men in hsr. i’ve been playing since the release and i’m already just a few exps away from level 40 send help.

𖦹 nsfw/suggestive contents, hcs ig, i use the speculative name for the trailblazer hehe, top reader :’D, this is basically a shitpost but also not LMAO.

GEPARD LANDAU — official dogboy, a lapdog too if you will

is this even a question at this point?

he’s your little pup (maybe not so little), and he radiates that golden retriever vibes. he’s a little more serious than that, sure, but rest assured, he’s always on you when you need him and he’s not particularly swamped with his guard duties as the captain.

he never fails to light up every time you pass by him when he’s out on patrol. he appreciates your little visits of course, sometimes even stopping by to bring him some food when you can. but there’s always something so magical whenever he sees you around the city, just minding your own business, not really aware that he can see you from his post.

and there’s just a spike of serotonin in gepard’s brain every time he ‘bumps’ into you in one of your personal excursions, romancing you with such subtlety (it’s really not much subtle, everyone and their mother in belobog knows you and him are together).

he thinks he’s so slick, trying to smooth talk you, when really, the tips of his ears are bright red, while you, completely unfazed only tried to hold in a laughter. what a trooper your boyfriend truly is!

serval thinks she should be getting second hand embarrassment from her brother’s actions towards you, but you both just looked so sweet that she just had to enjoy the view of you humoring her stiff as hell brother. he’s way too serious on the field (rightfully so), but it was all the more endearing to see a bit of that innocent glee that gepard somehow manages to manifest with you around.

he’s your good dogboy bro, always ready to serve you. though that doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate getting spoiled. your massages, especially your back rubs, are the highlight of his day after a grueling training — after his nice hot shower, with you guiding him all the way to your shared bedroom to give him a nice massage, it’s absolute bliss for him.

the cute sighs and the way his face becomes scrunched up as you worked the knots away from his muscles was adorable.

and if… the mood provides it, often times it leads to something a little bit more intimate than your wholesome little act of service.

gepard is a babygirl through and through man. he takes everything that you give him like a champ — extremely cooperative and will do anything as you say. maybe it’s because he likes being ordered around for once, maybe it’s because he finds it incredibly attractive to see you take charge… it could go either way and it drives him nuts.

he’s very loud, so you will be entertained at the plethora of ways gepard has to come up with just so he can’t be heard by the other neighbors while you completely wreck him.

handle with care after, please, he has to go to work the next day! we can’t have the famed captain of the silvermane guards limping around >:((

𐂂

SAMPO KOSKI — absolute mid with the way he’s a dog for seeking attention and a cat for being such a little bitch

congrats! you have a weird man for a boyfriend. the man that roams the streets of belobog be it in the underworld or overworld.

you vaguely recall the first time you and him met was when he was trying to persuade an overworld citizen in buying something, and you, as shameless as you are, moved towards him and squeezed the skin of his exposed waist, making the poor man yelp.

you gave him one questionable look before slut-shaming him with that getup, but not before buying your much needed supplies and leaving a sack of belobog currency.

admittedly, your relationship with sampo began as a transactional one. you buy stuff from him and he rewards you with a relatively risqué entertainment that your old folks would certainly faint from if they knew in the first place. but, as it turns out, even such a peculiar relationship can grow an oasis of genuine fondness for each other.

your dates before were just you and him meeting up in his place, hanging out, and then both of you just go on your separate ways. nowadays, it’s him that comes inside your house, incredibly woeful and in need of your attention and you oblige him regardless of how whiny he is.

oh, right, yes. sampo is whiny, have you seen him around his comrades? the man has the ‘woe is me’ attitude every now and then, and more often than not, you instigate that form of reaction whenever you tease him with a grin on your face.

there’s reasonable (or so i hope) amount of you calling out his outfit and why he feels the need to expose his waist only. sampo said it’s to attract customers like you, and you gotta hand the win on him on that one. though, it was becoming far more evident that you no longer see him as just an entertainment value and you as his source of income.

so. bloody. needy. it’s like he can’t live without your attention — thank the stars that the ban between the overworld and the underworld was lifted eventually so he can visit you more on the surface. one minute he skirts out of your home after some good fucking and then the next, he crawls back to you pathetically like a kicked puppy.

though, that is only to say that you got sampo absolutely hooked with your touches that he feels still lingering on his skin — you had an affinity for just harassing his poor waist while you call him names. he loves it anyway.

his clinginess comes with merit though, he appreciates the skin contact and you appreciate that chest of his to lay on. absolute king. if you tell him that his tits are the only selling point of why you finally fell for him, he will sulk and just sigh all day, looking at you with such disappointment.

“so i’m just a slab of meat to you, huh?” — sampo koski, xxxx

“pretty sure what’s in here are fats.” — you, nuzzling your face in his chest, xxxx

honestly, dating sampo feels like a one night stand, considering that he’s willing to limp away from your home in the crack of dawn, but it also feels just as endearing when he seeks you out or if you do the seeking, you could see how genuinely delighted sampo is to have you near him.

𐂂

JING YUAN — certified cat boy that’s just too good at fucking [with] you

mercilessly sly and an absolute mastermind, jing yuan has his fair share of mischief in the first place and you aren’t one he can spare despite having the honor of being the famed general’s partner.

you’re not so much of a fighter, you’re just a humble assistant to fu xuan (she disapproves of your poor taste in men though), but you learned to sleep with one eye open at the cost of you getting completely mauled to death by a general in need of his lover’s touch. he jumps at you with little to no warning, and you’re not certain if you should be proud of his stealth skills or just straight up be terrified lest you wake up to a succubus sucking you dry.

all that aside though, jing yuan is a passionate partner behind closed doors. he might look passive, but he’s sure to constantly be listening to your mumbling, even down to you just listing down what you need to buy for your home. he loves every part of you undoubtedly.

though, he likes to randomly charge you these fees wherein the currency is your warm hug. he could be a lot taller than you and still drape himself to your side while you hold him with one arm all the while cooking with the other.

a big, biiiiig cat, that’s for sure. and he accepts it, but on the account that you use it to tease lil ol’ him, get ready to be milked dry or at the very least, deprived of any form of affection from your cat.

he’s got a bit of an attitude too. he dreads the fact that you have a far more gentle disposition to his subordinates compared to him. you’re always so hard on him on work days, it makes him feel so lonely.

alas he has a remedy for that, particularly something you didn’t like at all.

mischief and a bored jing yuan on slow days are days you reminded yourself not to enter his office on, just to be safe and not get lured into his silly tricks. it always somehow fails, considering that he still is the general, and even though you are acting as fu xuan’s guide/assistant more than the general’s right hand man, you can’t refuse his calls because it’s still one of your responsibilities.

your cunning partner made sure to take advantage of that and cue… you writhing and breathless on his seat while he helped himself to your… offering from under the table. he promises he will be quick, but jing yuan is insatiable. for every time this happens, once or twice, a cloud knight would walk in to look for their general, and you had to talk to them without even giving away the embarrassing position you’re in.

hands down, a pillow princess if he’s not riding you to death. he’s the dozing general, but when the mood calls for it, he can take charge and just… leave you dry. so good luck with that.

cherishes the aftercare, he loves the slow intimate moments between you and him after. and if you’re a god at it, you can’t ever make him leave the bed, ever.

you once said, “oooh big stretch” when your beloved general did so one morning. that was the first and quite possibly the last time that you had him completely speechless for a good second. and that was saying a lot, considering that he always has the last word in your conversations. it became a core memory lmao.

𐂂

BLADE — another ultra catboy… except it’s the kind of cat that demands a lot from you after scratching your face

how in the many worlds did you ever pull this tormented man and his big sword? it’s concerning, really. kafka finds it amusing though that you even managed to make a space for yourself in blade’s little emo heart.

just laying it out there, you and blade babysit silver wolf and there’s no getting out of it apparently. kafka already placed you as the voice of reason when the one time she sent out only blade to look after silver wolf while you were off stalking the astral express gang, he dressed like a hobo, so much that he became extremely suspicious in sight more than he ever could dressed as just himself.

that aside, blade is probably one of the most demanding lovers you have dated (threateningly jealous at times too). no one can top him (but you ehe), he’s like a grumpy cat, literally swiping at you on the first few months before suddenly caving and asking you for almost everything.

really he just misses you, but he’s not into admitting such a fact. for the years that he’s gone through, whatever it may have been, you who did not care about who he was before was something that drew him in even more, you went at your own pace and it was no different when you became his. there was a sense of comfort that you brought to him.

so anyway, demanding partner that wants nothing but you. he’s extremely protective, which you found endearing, until you realized he will point a sword even to a little kid who so much as insults your face. not really good when you’re gathering intel when elio asks you both to do so.

dates with blade either includes the stellaron hunters because they are very fond of your relationship and are very nosy… or just you and him cooped up in your room, sleeping together, or ‘sleeping together’. not all too grand, but on missions that elio sends you both out on, you take the time to indulge your beloved and eat on different places, trying out delicacies of every particular world you visited in. blade doesn’t say much, but with the way his hand grips onto yours tightly already says a lot.

just throwing it out there, he is… quiet in bed. a grunter or a gasper, but if you really, really hit the right spot, he gives the deepest whine that leaves him shaking.

you either handle him with care or if he asks for it, go rough on him. like what was said, blade knows what he wants and will demand it from you all the same, no exceptions. and if you fail to live up to his expectations, he will move himself all the while glaring at you with so much disappointment.

he has… insane stamina, and if you can’t keep up, you better start working on that. the last thing that you want is to disappoint your vengeful boyfriend that has a lot of issues on his back. and while it’s not too bad of a sight to see your beloved imitate a sulking cat, it’s not so good when he ignores you. it’s not just about sex, if you so much as get that disappointing stare, best make it up to him and treat him like he’s your everything (as you should).

you once saw kafka and silver wolf planning out wedding destinations for you and blade at some point. you are unsure how to feel about your comrade’s deep involvement in your relationship — even more so when elio suggested the big wedding after you lot have accomplished your mission to the universe.

anyway, to say the least, your catboy is overly possessive and knows what he wants and can and will demand it from you. but even with such an overbearing personality and a terrifying look on his pretty face, you were already well versed in the blade language.

he thanks you on nights when you’re just out cold, probably tired from a mission, pressing a soft kiss on the side of your head. this man may have already considered elio’s proposal of the wedding date (jk).

𐂂

DAN HENG — third cat in a row. are all xianzhou men cats? but he’s the cat that’s quietly watching you, always listening

what do you mean he’s a [redacted for spoilers]? absolutely not. this man is a cat through and through.

the cat that silently watches you from afar while you do your own work. perhaps it’s because you always offer a sense of tranquility that dan heng found himself deeply enamored with you. you were just… so peaceful. it helped a lot, your presence soothed his deeply rooted anxieties born from his past. it’s as simple as you just shrugging and telling him, “why bother with anything else when i am alright where i am right now,” and dan heng fell hard.

you are as expressive as you can get, and can even get on the trailblazer and march’s antics. but the fact that you were mature enough to let yourself be resigned to the fate of time, that you were able to accept things as they are far better than anyone could, it was something your dearly beloved dan heng admired. in a sense, he also wanted to emulate whatever you’ve got going on.

bettering himself even more just because he loves you? goals. you changed this man and that was a sworn promise that he will never ever leave you from then on. always prowling around you, babysitting march 7th with you, reluctantly holding the trash the trailblazer rummages through with you, teaching old man welt how to use his beacon with you, etc.

that’s it, you can never pry dan heng out of your life anymore (unless you ask him to, in which case, please don’t, the man already has a lot to carry, how do you expect him to bear the weight of a broken heart from someone he thought he found happiness in?).

this catboy definitely lacks the expressiveness that you have, but just like any other stoic cat owner out there, you’ve basically read him well at that point. it’s almost as if you have the urge to make a guidebook about your boyfriend, and the aeons know that everyone in the astral express will eat it up.

he’s a little hard to coax at first to be more open in the beginning parts, but give him some time and he will be quicker to pry open than any other food that has an equally hard shell.

same thing in your more… intimate moments. give him some time to get used to things, especially if you’ve got far more experience at this sort of activity. go gentle, he loves the cradling embrace every time you ease yourself into him. he gets shy randomly out of nowhere in the middle of your little session, so do be patient.

though rest assured, he will grow bolder, eventually asking you to do all sorts of things that even you weren’t aware he knows about. he’s very eager to learn from you all the more, not just about the things that he prefers but what you also want! he’s extremely observant with your reactions, where you like to be touched.

let him take control every once in awhile, let him know that even in something as intimate as this, he can have a say. let him ride you until whenever, let him go at his own pace and he absolutely will lose his mind over that. the feeling of your arms around him, securing him in a tight hug while he drapes himself over you? dan heng will go nuts.

he’s also… very vocal. but he tries his best to keep it to a minimum lest you both let everyone in the express know what’s happening. usually though, you two only get frisky when everyone’s off the train and the only left are you, him, and dear ol’ pom-pom.

aftercares are everything to him, there’s something so touching at the fact that you are more than willing to still get up after being so spent just to make sure he’s comfortable after. you’re making this man cry, damnit! too good, too good.

never underestimate the tight grip he has on you — he’s usually the big spoon and he never hesitates to cling onto you. you’re like the safety that he finally found after running away from the things that trouble him. and every day with you is a day he always looked forward in waking up to.

𐂂

CAELUS — what the fuck is this? it’s not a dog or a cat. it’s a fucking trash panda.

ah yes, a raccoon with rabies (see: stellaron)

honestly, there’s no telling what is wrong with your boyfriend. it is… terrifying tbh. but you promised to be a supportive partner no matter how unnerving it is to see your beloved rummage through myriads of trash cans around belobog. more than once or twice, he has come up to you with a trash bag and even brought you a golden one.

you once asked what their use would be, and caelus just gave you a carefree smile while saying “we eat them to have better and stronger attacks against the enemy!” you quickly called dan heng and march to restrain him.

he texts you at the most ungodly hours. you don’t normally sleep at the same time as the other trailblazers since you took up the mantel in keeping watch of the express with pom-pom while the lot of you traversed through the heavenly galaxies of the universe. and because of that, your boyfriend just texts you until he falls asleep.

and when you are asleep in the day, before he heads out, he makes sure to tuck you in real good with a kiss for extra measure. seriously, he’s way too sweet for his own good. once or twice, you’ve caught him while you’re barely awake and he still manages to leave you flustered.

missions in different worlds means having to taste the myriad of delicacies a certain nation in a world has to offer. you both once ended up in a remote broken up island when the express made a quick stop in this one particular world that has… what do they call those again? archons? and you and caelus went ham on the dango milk (there was a distinct lack of trash cans around and everyone was safe from his addiction).

he loves you all too much, to the point where he’s attached to your hip, going wherever you go. getting all sulky when someone had your eye for a little bit longer. in that same nation in a world you stopped over, your eyes just happened to gaze a second longer at this young man with long braided blonde hair. though you were more interested in the tiny floating thing beside him, your raccoon was not able to inhale some copium and went all pouty at you.

either he ignores you, or he sends you a batch of sad pom-pom stickers in your beacon.

just wrap him in a blanket and fuck him silly, it can make him forget about the tiny things he was mad at you for. and just like dan heng, he can be very loud. so you kinda have to keep shushed up, a kiss usually does the trick however, so it shouldn’t be too hard to manage your little rowdy trailblazer.

he’s willing to take charge every now and then, he also still wants to make you feel good, after all! but he’s more of a pillow princess too, fuck him sideways and that gets him going, it makes him cry actual tears and alas, it was a blessing in your eyes to see him plead for you all the while trying to muffle his own sobs.

and after doing his head in, it is a must to spoon him after you clean him up. and maybe formulate a half-assed response when march comes knocking on your door, asking if you both fought or… let her come to an impending realization and just… make her not look at the both of you for a good week straight.

either way though, caelus is your pretty boy, always armed with witty teasing remarks and shitposts and a lot more stickers of pom-pom ready to flood your private messages with him.

10/10 -5 for the trash can obsession. ehe.

2K notes · View notes

tartigglez · 11 months

Text

"would you?" pt.1

zhongli x f!reader

・❥・smut with plot, mostly

・❥・1.8k

・❥・16+ light yandere!zhongli, reader is called princess, light brat taming, reader gets picked up, hickeys, aftercare, reader turned adpetus i guess, they get engaged lol, reader gets sick at one point, flashbacks in orange, cliffhanger bc pt.2 will come soon.

・❥・hi folks! new theme, things are gonna be a lot tidier around here from now on, and hopefully a little more serious, i'll be making a new blog for shitposting methinks, enjoy the fic! (ps. sorry celeste, i love you really <3)

rex lapis was not allowed to fall in love with mortals. the laws of the land, of celestia itself, forbade it. but then again, who has ever had the courage to tell the rex lapis that he couldn’t do something? when he has the ability to end them right then and there, who would ever say no to him?

the prime of adepti has, of course, never once doubted his capability to share his power and transform a mortal into an adeptus, but this wouldn’t be right, it wouldn't be proper, now would it?

would it?

if the power of love had blinded even the very strongest of the archons, how could there possibly be any hope for anyone else?

and so, these circumstances resulted in rex lapis, the god of contracts, doing what he does best, writing up a contract. a contract which was not really a contract, one which he knew didn’t have any real value, because it didn’t matter if you signed it or not, he was still going to carry out his end of the bargain. he would change the form of your body, because he knew that he never wanted to let you go. he wanted to become one with you, to merge with you. he never wanted you to leave…

it started with the basics, sharing his power, his authority. he had to consider how to alter your very being, to change you. then it came to him, he needed to ask you something important, something so crucial to his plan that it couldn’t be avoided, something he had wanted to ask you ever since the moment you both met, but he knew he had to restrict himself, to hold himself back. archons, he was so done with holding himself back.

it was on a late night stroll in liyue harbour when he asked you, when he took your hand in his, when he pulled out a small box from his jacket, and dropped down, on to one knee…

was he seriously doing this? was this actually happening? you never would’ve expected it to be right now but…

“darling, will you marry me…?”

you suddenly felt… lightheaded. not because you wanted to say no, simply because you loved him so much, and he was finally ready for the contract.

“y-yes… yes! i will! i will!”

after giving you a gentle kiss on the back of your hand and putting the ring onto your finger, he stood up from his kneeling position. he then grabbed you by the waist, pressed your lips together, and kissed you, to seal your promise to each other.

his plan was finally in action.

when the pair of you finally got home from your walk, the first thing you did was pin him against the front door, pressing your lips upon his, so desperate for his attention, despite the fact that you already knew he rarely ever paid any to things that weren’t you. he gripped your wrists and rapidly pulled them together in order to wrap one of his hands around them, flipping you over and trapping you against the door, and you quickly realised how this was going to go.

“already in need, princess? how lovely” gosh he was a tease. for someone who was normally so reserved and calm, he certainly changed his tune when he wanted you, when he needed you.

you could feel your cheeks heating up when having to admit to your longing for him, “jus’ want you,”

“well i’m right here, aren't i?” the mock fell straight from his lips, dark, lustful, needy.

he tilted his head to the side, closing the gap between you both to breathe hot air near your lips, slowly moving closer, and closer, and closer, until your lips met his, gently locking together as he kissed you. at first he was soft, longing, simply showing his love for you. but, of course, it mustn't be forgotten that zhongli, rather, rex lapis, will always have dragonic instincts, and of course they were going to take over…

still pinned against the door, he became more harsh and needy in his kiss, leaning into you, as you began to feel his fangs brush against your tongue. upon letting go of your hands, he gripped onto your waist with one hand, staring you in the eyes, serious, but loving.

“is this okay, my love?”

“more than okay, ‘li”

“good.”

he quickly viced his lips on your neck, moving his large, veiny hands down your body slowly, listening for your pretty little breaths, until one reached your thigh, the other resting on your ass. he quickly picked you up, moving your legs to encircle his waist, still kissing and biting your neck rapidly, never staying in one place for more than a few seconds. as you wrapped your arms around his neck, sweetly playing with the little curl that sits at the back of his neck, he began manoeuvring you, slowly walking up the stairs to your bedroom.

fuck, it was going to be a long night…

the first thing you felt as you woke up was zhongli’s hands -now larger than usual, having large black and gold talons at the end- carding through the hair on one side of your head, gently massaging your scalp. you were both completely naked, the warm, soft skin of his chest against your cheek as you rested your head upon him. you moved slightly, feeling the sweaty, sticky air between the two of you. truly, whilst zhongli was normally a kind and caring lover, who only ever wanted to make you feel good, this would sometimes prove to be at your own expense later. you were exhausted, and in pain, not horribly, but it was undoubtedly noticeable.

“darling, you're awake” his dark, mahogany voice echoed through your ears, reminding you of the sweet, yet vicious praises it whispered against your neck the night before.

“are you okay?” this time, his tone had changed. he was nothing but sweet, loving, kind. he seemed genuinely worried about you. he always was, after things like this happened between the two of you. he was always so frightened that he would hurt your soft, frail mortal body. he was afraid that he would inflict pain on you when being caught up in the moment.

“i’m okay, just… sore”

you moved slightly, attempting to roll off him, and onto your back upon the mattress. however, this failed, the aching in your muscles taking over as you collapsed back on to him, feeling a sticky fluid near your crotch, and starting to recall the events of last night…

“c’mon pretty girl, you can take it. just one more, hm? just one more. you can do that for me princess, can’t you?” he was thrusting into you at insane, unnatural speeds, hitting the very deepest points inside, teasing you with his words, but giving you everything with his body..

you gently mewled into his shoulder, trying desperately to take his cock, but it was so much, so, so, much. “i can take it ‘li, have to take it fo-”

“i told you, that’s not my name, princess. behave.”

“m’sorry, m-morax. so s-sorry”

just hearing the whisper of the name he had only been called so many moons ago coming from you was enough to send him over the edge, enough to send him spiralling, enough for him to spill globs of sweet, sticky cu-

“should i run you a bath sweetheart? perhaps it would help relieve some of the aching, hm?” his gentle voice interrupted your train of thought, as the pads of his fingers drifted ever so lightly over your back, providing comfort and warmth.

“yeah, yeah that’d be nice, ‘li,” you softened your voice as he gently pulled the duvet off the two of you, sitting up slowly, and helping you move your form off his body, softly placing you on the mattress. you pulled the duvet up over you again, as he made his way to the chest of drawers next to your bed, grabbing a pair of boxer briefs, and putting them on, despite the fact that he was still covered in both your release, and his own.

“i’ll be back soon, darling,”

placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, he left the room, making his way to the bathroom. the acoustics there echoed the sound of water running out of the baths tap, as well as zhongli… lighting candles? he wanted everything to be perfect for you, because although his immediate primal instinct was to mate, the one that came right after was to look after you.

in all truth, he knew that you enjoyed this, of course he did, but there was some part of him that would always feel a pang of culpability deep within his chest. like a warning to himself. he was going to hurt you if he didn’t change you, so changing you was what he had to do…

it happened on an afternoon a few weeks later. zhongli was taking care of you, because you were sick. nothing serious, just a cold, but knowing him, you would be in bed for a week. under normal circumstances he was protective over you, so when you were ill, this was of course going to be extremely amplified.

it would be a lie if zhongli said he understood mortal sickness, but he tried his hardest to, and knew that rest would help. still, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for you, sick and weak. he also couldn’t help but feel that now would be an appropriate time to ask you the question hes been intending to for a very, very long time.

“my darling,” he seated himself on the bed next to you, allowing you to drop your head onto his shoulder, still sniffling, nose red from the silk handkerchiefs he insisted you use, as opposed to tissues, which would be rougher. “i have something to ask you, and i’m not sure how you’ll react,”

“what’s up ‘li?” you move to sit up straight, crossing your legs and looking him in the eye.

“i’ve been thinking…” he trailed off. zhongli only ever trails off when he doesn’t know how to phrase something, when he’s afraid he’s going to say something wrong.

“what is it? y’know nothing you say can ever affect me that badly, right? i mean, i’m literally engaged to an archo-”

“what if i turned you into an adeptus?”

“w-what?”

“what if i could make you stay with me, by my side forever…? would you do it?”

would you?

#cael writes #genshin x reader #zhongli x reader #rex lapis #zhongli #genshin impact #zhongli x you #morax x reader #morax #morax x y/n #here you go celeste #a meal

358 notes · View notes

piived · 3 months

Text

Justice is Swift (Vengeance is Sweet) — Ch.2 Shitposts/Teasers

master post || <- ch.1 memes || ch.2

ch.2 memes without context in honor of the upcoming update of jisvis ;)

Bernard: Yeah we have another boyfriend, he’s the best and we love him very much! :D

Danny, very used to poly trios and the chaos they bring: Well fuck.

Tim and Bernerd, distraught but ready to throw hands: How the fuck is the cute twink homophobic this is such a tragedy

Danny, finally realizing what he said: WAIT NO IM GAY TOO AND MY FRIENDS ARE POLY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IM JUST INSANELY SINGLE AND LONELY IM NOT AN ASSHOLE I PROMISE LOOK AT THEM THEYRE MY PRIDE AND JOY IM SO SO CHILL WITH YOU HAVING ANOTHER BOYFRIEND AND WHEN CAN I MEET HIM—

Bernard and Tim: Oh he’s just a dumbass that’s fine

—

Danny: Yeah you guys would love my friends! I’ll have to introduce you all when they visit!

Danny, thinking about Tucker and Tim in the same room with unlimited access to Wayne Tech: … Wait.

Danny, realizing that Conner and Sam would find a way to start a campus wide protest over something despite neither being students: ACtually—

Danny, realizing that Bernard and Val would be no help because they are enablers and enjoy seeing their partners cause chaos: Fuck.

Danny: Yeah, I take it back, you guys are never allowed to meet. Ever.

—

Danny: sends selfie with tim drake to tucker lol he’s going to shit himself

Tucker, receiving said message: Oh my God I just shit myself

—

Tim: What the fuck is that?

Danny: My phone?

Tim *grabby hands*: Please I must see

Danny: Oh Tucker is going to be so fucking happy

—

Bruce, seeing a black haired blue eyed child with parental issues and a heroic drive: Alfred get the adoption papers ready please

Jazz, getting ready to start biting: Hands off you bastard I raised that child and I will shove those papers so far up your ass—

—

Sam: Look what you did, Danny.

Sam, gesturing to Tucker catatonic on the ground: You fucked up a perfectly good nerd.

Danny: He was like that when you got him.

—

Tim: If you’re going to crash my interrogation at least stay quiet?

Jason: Can we do it in his apartment?

Tim: Why?

Jason: hiding the takeout container behind his back Uh, less chance of him running?

Tim: … Fine.

Jason, excited to have a reason to be at his crush’s apartment: *fist pumping*

—

Jason: Blatantly flirting with Danny in the middle of Tim’s very important investigation

Tim: No! He was my friend first, back off!

Jason: But he’s cute!

Danny: You think I’m cute? :’D

Tim: Fuck, he’s fallen for the trap already.

#i’m so stoked for this chapter yall #i’ll update with the shitposts when the chapter comes out bc ~spoilers~ but they’ll be in the end notes as always #jisvis #jisvis ch.2 shitposts #vee creates #dpxdc

58 notes · View notes

cyberphuck · 2 months

Text

ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PART ONE My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about Robin Hobb’s Farseer Trilogy, but they don’t want to actually have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them (and you)! When we last left Fitzy-Fitz, it was a really fucking long time ago, sorry, I stopped going to church and learned to chainsmoke (and this book is LONG, I mean it’s LOOOOOOONG, so I kept avoiding getting started on Abridging it, lmao). You can brush up on the frankly insane amount of different characters here at the Royal Assassin Cast of Characters post, or find the links to the rest of the Farseer Trilogy Abridged series here at this link here.

- Fitz awakens one fine October morning in a bed at Jhaampe hospital, where he's been recovering from being poisoned and poisoned and bludgeoned and kicked and drowned. At first he was having eighty seizures a day, but now that it's down to only twenty-five seizures a day, he and Burrich figure it's high time for the two of them to skedaddle before they get snowed in.

Then, exactly like that scene in Attack on Titan where Eren reaches for a spoon and accidentally turns into a Titan, Fitz drops a spoon and accidentally turns into a seizure. It's a lot less cool. He wakes up hours later back in the same damn hospital bed with Jonqui the King's Sister and now healer sitting beside him.

"This sucks," he whines.

"Time heals all wounds, Pull-Out Fail," Jonqui says sagely.

"Shut the fuck up. I'm fifteen and obviously know a lot more than you about healing, and I've decided I'm never going to get better."

Burrich strides healthily into the room with a swanky new skunk stripe in his hair where his skull was recently cracked open. "What-ho, Lil Accident, are you ready to go back to Buckkeep?"

"No. Everybody's gonna make fun of me. You go back without me."

"So long as you wear that collar," Burrich says solemnly, "I must follow you."

Fitz touches the black collar with the word DADDY on it in gold letters. "The way you followed my father?"

"Yes."

"Was it like, a sex thing?"

Burrich, who has enough hidden piercings to set off a metal detector at twenty paces, asks, "Are we going back to Buckkeep or what? I'm getting kind of bored sitting here watching you do the Harlem Shake."

"Also, I heard that Molly's candle shop was foreclosed on and she had to go live with relatives in a town that's about to be raided by Vikings," The Fool says from under the bed.

"Gosh, I wish I could talk to King Shrewd or the Fool or find out what's happening to Molly," Fitz sighs, then sits up as the room fills with the wavy lines and harp glissando of a dream sequence.

"Wake up, King Shrewd," the Fool says. He's sitting on a chair, not under the bed or in a hay bale for once, and Fitz finds it extremely disturbing.

"Fool? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, King Shrewd and not Fitz, I have to be here because you're sick and old," the Fool fools. "Here, let me fluff your pillows and feed you soup."

"This is so weird," Shrewd-Fitz says. "I feel like... oh, the Skill line is ringing. What? Vikings are viking Siltbay so late in the fall?"

"You know, it's creepy when you talk to yourself like that," the Fool mutters.

But Shitz (Shrewd-Fitz) is already on a Skill video call, watching the Red-Ship Raiders pulling up onto the coast. Vikings run through the town, viking everything in sight. The raiders are wading through blood up to their knees, people are running around headless and on fire, it's awful. The raiders aren't even stealing anything-- they're just wrecking stuff, which anyone who's been to a Raiders game can attest to (go Cowboys).

"Fool," Shitz says. "You can see the future, right?"

"This is a weird time to reveal that particular nugget of information, but sure. Let's see... ah, yes. I see a bard who can't fucking read the room trying to find a rhyme for 'dismembered child.' That is not something Jaydee made up, it's a real line from the book."

"Thank you, Fool, that's extremely fucked up," Shitz says. "Oh wait, who's this on the video call... It's Molly! Oh SHIT, it's Molly and Vikings are going to vike her!"

But Molly wasn't called Molly Nosebleed as a kid because she's a trembling little violet. A Viking tries to vike her and she stabs him to death, whirls around and shouts "WHO WANTS SOME, MOTHERFUCKERS?!"

Then a house falls on her.

"Oh god, oh fuck," Shitz says, panicking. "Fool, use your future vision and tell me if Molly's okay!"

"A bunch of women died in a bunch of horrible ways," the Fool says. "Do you want me to list them?"

"No," Shitz says, and so the Fool doesn't spend two pages describing the graphic sexual assault, murder, and maiming of a bunch of townsfolk. Shitz sits back in his bed. "Run off and let Verity know Siltbay is being viked."

Ever loyal, the Fool cartwheels down the stairs. Then Shitz sighs and says, "Man, being old sucks."

"Yes it does, so quit your fucking whining about your little seizures and come home," Shrewd says, and ends the Skill call.

The next morning, Fitz-Fitz packs up his stuff and heads out with Burrich and Hands to make the long boring trip back to Buckkeep.

The return to Buckkeep sucks especially hard because they have to take the 99 instead of the I-5 like last time, and Fitz is getting carsick. Along the way they keep having to stay in incredibly sketch Super 8s, which wouldn't be that bad (free soap and free weird smells!) but Burrich and Hands overhear someone standing out in the hallway talking loudly on their phone about how much King Shrewd fucking sucks.

"Yeah he keeps raising taxes to 'defend our country' or whatever but Vikings are still viking the beach towns as much as they want," had said the Buckboi in the hallway. "You know who rules, though, Prince Regal!"

"What towns did Buckboi say were viked?" Fitz asks.

"A town no one cares about," Hands answers solemnly, "and the one where Molly had a house fall on her."

After that incident, Burrich decides that they're gonna make the rest of the trip using surface streets and driving through people's yards. "If Regal finds out you're out here, he'll send someone to kill you," Burrich explains. "Verity's definitely not gonna protect you."

"Is that because he consistently sees me as a tool first and a family member and human being second?"

"Look," Hands interrupts. "I see Buckkeep-shaped lights in the distance." They ride up to the gates, which are guarded by a kid who was born a thousand years too early to be the squeaky-voiced teen working at the drive-thru. “Halt,” he squeaks. “Who the fuck are you?“

Burrich scoffs. ”Who the fuck are YOU?“

”I asked you first!“

”I asked you sec—“

”All right, all right, who's holding up the line?“ The last book had a rich and exhausting cast of random extras murmuring in the background, but this one used all of their budget on talking CGI wolves, so they had to fire most of them and give almost all of their lines to Blade, The Guard Captain. His job is to appear at important moments and say things like 'hear, hear!' and 'how big WAS she?' “Holy shit, it's Burrich! Twitter said you and Chivalry's Post Nut Regret were dead!”

“It's called X now,” Fitz says, emerging dramatically from the shadows.

“Oh.” Blade says, while four of the other guards die of secondhand embarrassment. “H-hi, Chivalry's Pos... I mean... Fitz. You uh. Did you have a nice trip? Hey, you... did something with your hair, it looks... it looks good!”

“Prince Regal was going around telling everyone I was dead, wasn't he,” Fitz says flatly.

“Sometimes I can still hear his voice,“ Regal sighs from somewhere in the castle.

”What? No. What?? No! What?! No!“ Blade laughs as six more guards thud to the ground. ”No, of course not! It was just, you know, like, you know. YOU know. You know. I didn't really believe you were dead, I did retweet the link Regal posted but I commented with 'big if true,' so it wasn't really...”

Fitz smiles. “Ho ho ho, Captain, don't worry your sweet little tits about it. Everyone falls victim to misinformation from time to time, and I accept the apology I assume you were about to provide me. Do carry about your business.”

Halfway up to the stables, Burrich pulls Fitz aside. “Listen, Lil Accident, we're not at Grandma's house anymore,” he hisses. “You can't talk to people like you matter or Regal's gonna get his panties in a knot about it.”

“And then he'll choke me,” Fitz agrees.

“What?”

“With his knotted up panties.“

”I'm also still alive,“ Hands offers after a long silence. ”Fitz, you're too weak and pathetic to wax your own horse, let me do it.“

”But...“

”Come on, Fitz, let Hands, my new favorite child, take care of the important work.“ Burrich takes Fitz's arm. ”Now go on up to the castle, that collar is making everybody question their sexuality.“

”What's a sexuality?“ Fitz asks, just before he's shoved into the castle, screen door banging behind him.

Inside, Fitz looks around and notices that the place looks cleaner than it had before he'd left on the world's worst road trip. All the beer cans and ash trays have been cleaned up, someone's taken down the band posters and put up tasteful watercolors of succulents, and the 'NICE COCK' that had been scrawled above the toilet has been replaced with 'live laugh love.'

”Wrow,“ muses Fitz as he passes a sign on Verity's door that reads 'IF THE WARSHIP'S A-ROCKIN', DON'T COME A-KNOCKIN'. ”I'm kinda gonna miss the crusty sock smell. Good thing my room still reeks like teenaged boy.“

#rote #robin hobb #fitzchivalry farseer #ra abridged #this one's a little rough but I promise I'll warm up

44 notes · View notes

bakubunny · 6 months

Text

thirsty aizawa shitpost bc why not

i just want a pretty, long haired man (aizawa) to make me suck his dick before he splits me the fuck open and breeds me until i’m ready to pass out. like i’m not rly into that but i’d nut if he told me he was gonna knock me the fuck up.

fellow shitposters: @dcsiremc @bookcluberror @i-literally-cant-with-this @r4td0lll @zazter-den

#also geto #pls and ty #and yes i did say aizawa is pretty #fight me #bnha thirst #jjk thirst #geto thirsts #aizawa thirst #x reader #bunny talks #shitpost

65 notes · View notes

scottappreciation · 10 months

Text

Thank you to everyone that participated in Scott McCall Week 2023!! We received over 40 entries this year and have been so delighted to see the amazing works you’ve created to celebrate Scott. 😁 Below is a round up of all of the contributions—days 3-7 and alt prompts are under the cut! For more Scott-centric works, including ones from previous events, we’d encourage you to check out scottappreciation’s collection of Scott-centric works.

If we’ve missed a post by you, please send us an ask, and we’ll add it.

Thank you again for helping make this event so successful, and we look forward to hosting more events in the future!

Day One - You’re an Omega / Traits

s1/2 moodboard and fic by @jjsstars

scott in s2 + soap fanvid by @bericas

what beautiful eyes you have fanart by @toastybugguy

an alpha of your own pack gifset by @momentofmemory

traits graphic by @seemebaremyteethforyou

s2 fic by @kitkatwinchester

scott + traits gifset by @letthestorieslive

Day Two - That’s All I Got / Quotes & Lyrics

scott & parental figures moodboard and fic by @jjsstars

sciles fanart by @slumop

ocean vuong gifset by @bericas

battle born gifset by @seemebaremyteethforyou

inheritance gifset by @momentofmemory

you’re not a monster fanart by @toastybugguy

think of everything you’ve got fic by @smile667

Day Three - I’m Not Ready to Die Yet / Fight Scene or Romance Scene

fight scene graphic by @seemebaremyteethforyou

healing/processing moodboard and fic by @jjsstars

brothers, bitch! fanart by @toastybugguy

it’s just something i traced with my fingers graphic by @scribeoffate

miriam kramer gifset by @bericas

Day Four - The Shape You Take / Relationships

once i had a child fanart by @toastybugguy

identity moodboard and fic by @jjsstars

scott + hayden graphic by @seemebaremyteethforyou

Day Five - I’m Going to Tell You a Story / Aesthetics & Colors

scott + colors gifset by @letthestorieslive

that fearful sound of fire fanart by @slumop

that’s what he wants fanvid by @momentofmemory

scira canon divergence moodboard and fic by @jjsstars

haunting memories fanart by @toastybugguy

s2 scackson canon divergence fanvid by @domesticated-feral

Day Six - Trust Me, I Restrained Myself / Close-ups

e.d. smith gifset by @momentofmemory

the colors in your eyes captivate my mind fanart by @slumop

rage moodboard and fic by @jjsstars

pantone colors + closeups graphic by @seemebaremyteethforyou

rubble and dust fic by @princeescaluswords

Day Seven - Dealer’s choice

conversations with a future veterinarian shitposts by @spikeface

you stopped to bake it in a little werewolf oven fanart by @nacreousgore

scackson brokeback mountain au fanvid by @domesticated-feral

after hours sceo fic by @wolfboy88

raymond carver gifset by @momentofmemory

talking to allison moodboard and fic by @jjsstars

language of flowers graphic by @seemebaremyteethforyou

lay your gun down sceo fic by @shinigamimailjeevas

scott week pride month fanart by @toastybugguy

Alt 2: Lil Shit Scott

scott + (◡‿◡✿) (ʘ‿ʘ✿) (ʘ‿ʘ)／✿ gifset by @momentofmemory

#scott mccall #tyler posey #teen wolf #sciles #scallison #sceo #scira #scisaac #scackson #teen wolf event #scottmcallweek23

44 notes · View notes

nothingleftinmylungsforyou · 24 days

Text

So nervous to release new music ~ I feel like the last four years for me were never ending pain lol but ya girl is here and ready to experience all the things that life has to offer. Took a slight social media hiatus outside of shitposting about mugs — I lost myself a lot and I am so sensitive I have developed a huge fear of being seen and because of that I also stopped posting

It makes me so sad because social media used to be my favorite thing ever and I’m trying so hard to get back into it but I’ve been struggling with extreme body dysmorphia over the last few years so it’s been hard to want to show up when I feel like I don’t have any idea what I look like

Not that it should matter anyways

Idk why I’m trauma dumping on the timeline but

Why not

Sometimes I like knowing that someone could find my virtual diary 100 years from now

That is

If this web page doesn’t cease to exist

It’s a full moon tonight so this is me finally letting go of my fear of being seen

#poetry #spilled ink #nostalgiacore #echos #alt girl #alt aesthetic #alt model #gloomcore #art #music

7 notes · View notes

para-socialist · 2 months

Text

The first Bright Eyes show I went to was in July 2021. I flew into Philadelphia and met up with someone I knew from Tumblr. We drove for two hours during a tornado warning for the area while it rained so hard we couldn’t see the road. Since then, I’ve seen them 7 more times, and my love for this band has led to:

overnight drives to Pennsylvania and 11 hour train rides to Milwaukee;

an Airbnb in Omaha during the worst era of my life when I was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling everything would be okay;

countless conversations with strangers outside venues: fans who wouldn’t be alive without Bright Eyes, fans who named their kids after Conor, fans whose faces I don’t remember but shared a profound connection with for a few hours;

and some of the most wonderful friendships I’ve ever had.

In April, it’s leading me to New York. I met Conor in November 2022. I didn’t want to put the emotional burden of “I have nothing left and your music is the only thing that makes me feel happy anymore” on him, so I just said thank you. He said “of course babe!” and offered me a hug. As emotional as it is to be hugged by a man you’ve considered your hero for 5 years, there was another fact that completely overwhelmed me: this guy is a complete stranger to me, and he is offering me kindness for no reason other than to be kind. He is not obligated to, and I didn’t deserve it, but he did anyway. I don’t remember crying, but I definitely am in the photos I took with him. It’s also the first photos of me in years where I’m genuinely happy. I feel like there’s so much more to say, but I’m not ready to be that vulnerable on a blog that’s been mostly shitposts up to this point.

Keep on going like it ain’t the end.

Happy birthday, Conor.

pic by me; please don't repost. more pics i've taken of him here

#parasocial.txt #bright eyes #conor oberst

17 notes · View notes

bittersweetcanary · 4 months

Text

A Little Prank

[12/30/23]

*promptly shitposts a funky thought from my funky brain*

Written with my own Queer Head cannons of the cast in mind, so to clarify to those who don’t know, Spica will be referred to with she/her pronouns and Sirius with mirrored pronouns.

+This is a little side story for my Artw OC Benate

Summoner Benate: “Sirius… Do yooooooou want to prank Spica with me?”

Sirius: “... A Prank you say? Summoner, what has gotten into you!” *They chuckled.*

Summoner Benate: “Mhm! I have this sticker here…”

*Benate holds up a sticker that, in big bold letters, spells out “egghead”* “... I’m going to stick it to Spica’s forehead, I need you to be ready to take a photo of his reaction on my cue.”

Sirius: *WHEEZE-* “... Of course Summoner, I’d LOVE to.”

And so they both searched for Spica… It wasn’t hard, all the Summoner had to do was ask him via chat then head to the library where she is studying… …

Spica: *With a big smile, wondering what the Summoner wanted to see her for. She gingerly placed a bookmark in the book she was studying and closed it before turning her attention to the Summoner as she stood from her seat.*

“Hello, Summoner Benate, did you need something..?”

Summoner Benate: “Mhm! But first, could you lean down a bit..?” *They asked, being too short to reach her forehead. Then as Spica nodded, a slight flush on her cheeks, she leaned down to eye level with Benate- then Benate took their chance and quickly pressed the sticky side of the sticker to her forehead and spoke through giggles.* “SIRIUS TAKE THE PICTURE”

And Sirius did just that as Spica looked up, right into the camera of Sirius’s stella taB as she snapped the pic! Then… Spica’s face grew red, and they could almost see the smoke coming from her ears- THEN IT WAS TIME TO RUN- and so they did! As a very angry, and rightfully so, Spica chased them down the halls of Contell Academia.

#arcana twilight #artw #arcana twilight sirius #arcana twilight spica #arcana twilight summoner #artw oc #arcana twilight shit post #HAVE OC LORE #*SLAMS DOWN LORE*#PRANKSTERS #SIRIUS PRANKS SPICA #SPICA IS PISSED #RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES

19 notes · View notes

rikitachiquita · 6 months

Text

one more pear 🍐 || p. sunghoon

• synopsis: something really weird happens to y/n one day. it involved park sunghoon, her brother and weirdly enough... pears

• genre: shitposting, one shot, crack, sunghoon x bestfriend y/n, literally the dream i had last night made into a one shot

(1k words)

y/n was in her kitchen, eating some good old peaches in the middle of the afternoon. she had been studying all day so a healthy snack was what she needed.

that’s when a person came into her kitchen: it was sunghoon, her good friend.

“what are you eating?” he asked

“peaches with lemon, why?” she replied, a bit weirded out that he was in her house.

who invited him? she then started guessing who it could have been, since it wasn’t her. maybe it was her mum, since she LOVED him. to be fair, who wouldn’t? he was very funny when he tried. she instantly checked her dad out of the list: he couldn’t remember the names of her friends even if his life depended on it. and she has had the same groups of friends for years. maybe her brother? yeah no. fun fact, sunghoon and her brother HATED each other. the reason why? still unknown. anyways she always had to be ready to hide the man when he was around her house, in case her brother came around unexpectedly.

“i want some pears” he said.

was he ok? why did he want pears all of the sudden??

“take one, it’s no big deal” she said, ignoring the weird situation. maybe he was on drugs??? or maybe he was just a freak.

“thank you!” he said giggling and taking a pear.

then he took another one

and another one

and one more

a fifth one

and the last remaining pear.

y/n looked at him. stunned. what was going on? why did he take six pears? why was he being like this. sunghoon was a bit strange at times, but not THAT strange.

maybe he was trying to be more healthy? he was an athlete at the end of the da-

“BYE Y/N” she heard and then the loud sound of her front door closing (it needed some fixing but her brother and dad were way too lazy to do that)

he had left. ok. it’s sunghoon. it’s normal behavior for him. he would just forget it and live her life like that didn’t happen.

it was the next day. she had a biology presentation in a few minutes , so she was a bit anxious. i mean, dna wasn’t a simple subject to tackle.

all her classmates were there, just one was missing: sunhoon.

maybe he was finally put in a mental hospital. after the stunt he pulled the day before, he better be locked up.

she started giving her presentation and everything was going well. the slide had turned out perfect and the speech was going smoothly.

but then her brother came in. (an: wtf my brother just texted me im actually freaked out)

why was he in her school?

he didn’t even go to her school. their schools weren’t even close. actually it took over an hour by bus to get from y/n’s school to her brother's school.

“where are the pears?” he asked.

why was everyone obsessed with pears? they were nasty anyways.

“i don’t know? why are you in my school?” she was confused to say the least.

“i need them, i know you have them”

“i don’t even like pears! oh my god why are you here?”

“ok, i’m leaving for now, but be sure to have them later”

and he did left, slamming the door on his way out.

“you can go on” said her teacher. no one wondered what had just happened.

so she just did. she went on with her presentation.

it was the next period now and she was in german. y/n hated that subject with her whole heart. why did she even choose to take it? it was her worst subject and she barely passed it.

another knock on the door was heard and sunghoon came in. he had escaped the clinic then, it was the only explanation.

“sorry, i had a doctor appointment, here is my pass” he said, handing the teacher a paper and sitting down at his designated seat at the back of the class.

another knock. again. why was everyone knocking today?

“do you have my pears now?” her brother was back, bothering her.

“i already told you, i don’t have your pears”

“just admit that you ate them yesterday”

“but i didn’t!”

“yes you did!” he was starting to raise his voice.

“i don’t like pears, why would I eat them!”

“i don’t know, maybe cause you are crazy?”

she was so embarrassed. the whole class was looking at her. and not even just her class, but janitors and random students from other classes were gathering outside the door and they were looking at the scene.

“ I AM the crazy one? not you? the one who came all the way to my school to scream to me about some pears on the loose? and you came in twice! do you realize how out of your mind you must look? and in front of my whole class and the teachers! can’t you just leave?”

“not unless you tell me where my pears are!”

“i don’t know were your pears are!!!”

“then who has them?”

“i don’t know”

oh when she would get her hands on sunghoon. he just waits. oh he will get what he deserves for making this happen. just cause he craved pears.

but weirdly enough , she couldn’t feel the man’s eyes on her. weird very weird.

“on that’s enough, you leave now and you try calming yourself down” the teacher finally did what she was paid for: doing her job.

finally her brother left. finally she could find peace. well, she was still at school so peace was not an option at all.

when she finally relaxed, she turned around to look at the man in question.

and he was not there. sunghoon had left. and the pears. they were all gone with him.

author note: basically i had this dream last night. so i made a one shot out of it cause it was very funny to me. also, i might just make one shots about fruits at this point and become a greengrocer (check out my first ever fic, sweet like mango!!).

CHECK OUT LI AND I'S SIDE BLOG!!!! we talk about enhypen if they were italian and it's very funny to me ( and to li ok yes, we enjoy stuff like this)

new chapter of come back be here coming tonight/tomorrow night!!!

ok bye i'm done with the advertisment

#｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆ ray writes #enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader #sunghoon #park sunghoon #sunghoon fic #one shot #enhypen au #enhypen oneshots #shitpost

8 notes · View notes

thetechypurpletwin · 8 months

Text

★EVERYTHING TO KNOW ABOUT US!!★

WELCOME TO MY BLOG extremely nice to meet you!

I am an alter in a system, so everything I post here will be mostly based on source memories but improv/fictional/rp stuff might be involved :D

ASK BOX IS OPEN!!! SEND US ASKS PLEASE WE LOVE THEM

I decided to make this blog because I wanted my own place separate from our host account to just do my own little thing. Decided to organize some stuff just in case with tags:

ALTERS:

While I may be the sole owner of this blog, there are three other alters who are in our system as well, Mikey, Leo and Raph! They're too lazy to make a blog for themselves. There are other alters as well and you may see them from time to time but this is mostly turtle blog.

I am still the “main owner” of this blog though so let’s start with me!

#donnie txt: all posts that feature me, Donnie, speaking

Donnie Info: any pronouns, bisexual/demiromantic

A tech genius who spends way too much time online and needs reminders on stuff like eating and sleeping. Favorite game is ace attorney but keeps on forgetting to play it

Nicknames: Cosmos, Don, DonTron

#mikey txt: all posts that feature lil bro Mikey speaking (<3)

Mikey Info: he/she, pansexual

Artist who is a shining light in this world. May or may not be slightly unhinged. Favorite game is Splatoon.

(author note: wtf I can hear him giggling im scared)

Nicknames: micheal, angelo, annoying little shit /j

#leo txt: all posts that feature my twin Leo speaking (unfortunately :p /j)

Leo Info: @theprettybluetwin he/they, gay (hehe that rhymes)

the man, the myth, the legend and is also bald. wears a bow with long tails cause he’s just that cool

nicknames: fizzy, nardo, leon, neonleon

(Donnie note: Leo’s a bit of a gacha addict so ask him about project seki or Honkai star rail or CRK they’ll be happy to answer)

#raph txt: all posts that feature our biggest brother Raphie :D speaking Raph Info: he/she/any, demiromantic animal lover and plays stardew valley in her free time

I’m finally here so I can put my own description: hi i’m raph and i like cute things like my melody :) i love wearing bows and obviously my fav color is red :D I don’t front as much as the others but i’m still here watchin

OTHER TAGS:

#donnie ramblings: where I infodump/ramble about random things I'm interested in

#donnie art: whenever I feel like posting my art, it will be here! might also double as "selfie time" so I can draw what I look like compared to my source

#ask a donnie: all posts that are me answering asks/asking for asks (lol) you can ask about our system, my favorite stuff, even ask for story prompts i love story prompts

#mikey art: mikey’s art, I forgot to make her an art tag

#ask a mikey: asks answered by mikey!

#leo ramblings: he’s up and awake and ready to talk your head off about a character they like. Brace yourself (aka Leo shitpost corner)

#ask a leo: asks answered by leo!

#leo gaymes: im gaming gamer boi gayming

#ask a raph: asks answered by raph!

#raph corner: raph’s corner where she talks about cute things and games

#arc: crystallized: :) (TBD)

And more to be determined(?)!

BOUNDARIES:

★We are all under the age of 18, including the body! So please don't send asks or posts asking to date us, even if you are the "same age". Compliments like "you are so pretty/handsome" are welcomed though!

★NO NSFW/T//EST

★No venting in ask boxes please! I don't mind giving comfort to my close friends but if I don't know you its extremely uncomfortable :c

★ Please refrain from talking about the kraang as much as possible. We’re willing to answer some questions but the memories we have are painful :)

★please don’t ask me about usagi. he seems like a pretty cool dude but I’ve never known him. that also goes for any other characters that get shipped with my brothers, none of us remember dating anyone

If we want to add any boundaries in the future, I will do my best to edit this post!

And yes, I was inspired by other rottmnt ask blogs but I do not wish to copy off of them! Like I said, we just want to be able to interact through the world feeling like ourselves, and if you say our personalities are fake or copied it will make us feel sad :c

#donnie txt #donnie rottmnt #rise tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #unpause rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt mikey #leo rottmnt #raph rottmnt #ask box open #ask blog

10 notes · View notes