I recently saw your post about lgbt+ language with the history of queer and stuff, and is the phrase “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” also a result of a response towards those radical lesbians you were talking about, as well as society as a whole? I have no idea how or where I even saw that phrase and I don’t even think I’ve seen or heard it in over a decade, but it has that prolific sort of protest-y feeling and I’m curious
Ah, no. That one's not from conflict within the LGBTQ+ world, it's from our struggle with the world around us. It's the battle cry of a community trying to convince the world around them that LGBTQ+ people were:
A real and non-trivial part of the population, and could not be made to disappear
Human beings who deserved to live, even if they kept participating in "the homosexual lifestyle"
Dying at horrific rates of a disease nobody understood or had treatments for, and
Going to fight like HELL for their survival.
On a previous post of mine people got talking about the AIDS crisis, and the contributions made it better than anything I could do alone. I think it's very worth reading. But one thing I want to highlight is:
The Die-In. It was a tactic ACT UP (the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) used in the late 1980s and early 1990s to push AIDS into the public consciousness. Activists would rush into a public place like a traffic intersection, a busy train station, or the entrance to a government building, and "die", laying down and bringing things to a grinding halt. They held up signs and tombstones airing their grievances; they chanted slogans aimed to bring about the very particular political point they wanted to drive forward.
[Image description: ACT UP protesters outside the FDA headquarters in Rockville, Maryland on October 11, 1988. They demanded the release of experimental medication for those living with HIV/AIDS with slogans reading: 'Never Had A Chance.' 'I Got the Placebo' and 'I Died for the Sins of the FDA.' Source. End image description.]
AIDS deaths involved so much stigma and isolation. Fear of contamination meant that hospitals were reluctant to treat patients with HIV/AIDS, medical staff hesitant to touch them, and ordinary people afraid of so much as using the same toilet seat or water fountain as them.
And then, like the post I reblogged a couple days ago, severe illness and death meant that many people's estranged families suddenly re-entered their lives, because they were often the only ones with the legal rights to visit them in hospital or dispose of their effects, and wanted to hush up their queerness. Bury trans people under their deadnames, write obituaries of gays and lesbians that failed to mention their significant others or cause of death.
So that's... the context in which Queer Nation arose, and the environment in which "queer" was reclaimed. "Queer" was useful because it was inclusive and easy to put in a chant, and also because straight people did use it as a pejorative.
Mainstream liberals would literaly argue that sure, they guessed gay people had the right to exist, but did they have to be so blatant about it? Did they have to be such fucking queers? And sure, AIDS was terrible, but those activists were so unpleasant, and anyway, it's a totally preventable disease: Just don't have gay sex ever! Problem solved! (Spoiler: Gay people will not stop being gay; nobody deserves to die for having sex; and straight people can get HIV too.)
So ACT UP also staged "kiss-ins", which also involved occupying a public space, but this time to prove that people can be gay in public and the world will not end and society will just have to DEAL with its inherent disgust or moral outrage or whatever.
That's where the chant came from. It's stepping out defiantly into public space in a marginalized position, and warning the world that we are not going away. We refuse to go away. If, as many claimed, God himself designed AIDS as a punishment for the sin of homosexuality, and meant it to wipe gays from the face of the Earth? He must feel pretty sheepish right now, because it didn't work.
We're here. We're queer. Get used to it.
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Holiday Troubles
Characters: Aizawa, trans male reader
Contains: Unsupportive family, transphobia, homophobia, misgendering, mentions of a deadname (D/N), mentions of religion and praying, mentions of dysphoria, angst, hurt/comfort, angst with fluff ending. This was written mainly as a comfort fic during the winter holidays but wanted to post this here (originally posted on AO3). Please read with caution as this content may be triggering for some
Word Count: 2K+
The holidays were always rough for you, being not only gay but transgender as well. There were the off-putting tension and feelings every time you walked in the room, and the side glances and judgemental glares that were shot your way if you were even caught wearing something feminine and not masculine. Mostly from your parents and family, feeling the obligation that you had to follow gender norms in the hope to not only pass but to be taken seriously in your own identity.
The holidays got a little easier once you married your now husband. He made visiting your family a bit easier and made the holidays in general, more enjoyable for you. This year, unfortunately, he had meetings and a nightly patrol that he couldn’t get out of, so you were left to go to the Christmas family gathering by yourself.
The day came, and needless to say, you were a nervous mess. You dressed up in a suit, something masculine of course to appease your family and keep those comments at bay. Though, you knew you weren’t in the clear as there was still a high chance of being deadnamed and misgendered by family who were unsupportive or others who just didn’t try. Your husband, Shouta, let you know before he left early that morning that if you needed anything at all to give him or Hizashi a call and they would come and get you in a heartbeat. He said Hizashi, just in case he couldn’t be reached, which was fine with you, Hizashi had become a close friend to you.
You arrived at your parent's house a little later than they asked, just cause you were nervous and needed more time to prepare for this evening. You knocked on the front door, adjusting your suit as you waited for someone to open the door, only to be greeted by one of your younger siblings. They gave you a big hug, before dragging you inside where you were greeted by family.
Your grandmother was the first to deadname you. She called out as you talked to your uncle, a devious smile on her face as the name rolled off her tongue. You cringed hearing it and so badly wanted to correct her, but if your mother caught wind that you did, who knows what drama may pursue. You endured the conversation with her, as she made sure to drop in your deadname every chance she could get.
“Honestly D/N, you really should stop playing dress up and realize that you are a girl. Your husband would be so much happier to have a wife who knows her place and not some confused girl.”
You took a deep breath and bid your goodbyes to your grandmother as you went to find someone else to talk to. Eventually, dinner was called, and you all gathered around and your grandfather said a prayer. You looked down at your feet the entire time, not really wanting to participate in the prayer. Soon it wrapped up and a line formed into the kitchen to get food. After everyone got food, everyone gathered around and talked, telling stories of things that happened within the past year in their lives, as well as asking questions to others to get the latest scoop. You just decided to eat silently, trying to not participate in the gossip fest happening before you.
“So Y/N, how are you and your husband doing?” Your dad asked before he took a sip of a beer. You held up your pointer finger, signaling that you needed a moment as your finished chewing food before you smiled and spoke.
“Oh, we are doing well! He sends his deepest apologies that he couldn’t make it, hero duties called.” You smiled, taking a quick glance around the room. Some whispers were exchanged, knowing it was about you and Shouta. It was clear that besides your family not supporting your identity, they also did not support your marriage to a hero. Especially a hero who was supportive of you and your identity.
“Honestly, how she manages to keep such a hero man, is insane. Like who would wanna marry some confused lesbian?” One of your aunts spoke out. You gripped your glass tightly, biting your tongue, not wanting to start any issues.
Other family members chimed in to add on to your aunt's comment and soon it became too much. You quickly excused yourself and went to the bathroom farthest away from your family. You pulled out your phone and texted your husband. You told him that you needed him or Hizashi or someone to come to pick you up, as you originally walked, as it was nice earlier prior to the sun setting. You quickly got a reply, saying your husband was on his way, and that he was getting someone to cover the rest of his patrol. You felt a bit bad to interrupt and have him leave his patrol, but god you just needed him right now more than anything.
You hid amongst the rooms as you waited for Shouta to send you a message or signal that he was here. Your mom called out your name, walking down the hall looking for you. The smile on her face dropped as she saw you and grabbed your arm.
“Come on Y/N, we are about to exchange gifts. Stop trying to hide and be nice and spend time with your family. It took a lot of work and effort to get everyone here, like your grandparents who haven’t seen you in ages.” Your mom aggressively whispered at you, as she pulled you towards the living room. You stayed silently, hoping that your husband would be here soon.
Your mom let you go and pointed to a chair near the tree. You sat down and were handed some gifts. You slowly opened them, trying not to draw attention to yourself. The first gift was in a gift bag, and opening it exposed a colorful piece of clothing. You pulled it out and it was a sundress. Although you didn’t mind breaking gender norms, dresses were never your thing, they held too many bad memories and made you dysphoric. You frowned, not having the energy to fake a smile. You felt your mind start to spiral before a voice pulled you out.
“Oh, D/N do you not like it. I made sure to even get the right size and everything. I thought you could put that on and surprise your husband when you go home. Imagine how he would react to see his wife, finally coming to terms with herself.” Your grandmother called out, staring at you the entire time. You went to open your mouth when another voice spoke up.
“Actually, I think my husband looks handsome and perfect just the way he is in the suit he is wearing, but thank you. Maybe we can save the dress and give it to one of my students, I know one of them would get much better use of it.” Shouta’s voice boomed out, making a hush fall across the room. You never heard the front door open, but then again Shouta was very good at staying silent. You looked at your husband, feeling all your emotions and feelings starting to rise to the surface. You caught a dirty look your mother gave you as you stood up and made your way over to Shouta.
He held out his hand as you got closer and held it tightly, quickly bidding goodbye for you both as he quickly led you outside to the car that was waiting outside and still running. “I had Hizashi drive me over, hope that’s okay.” You just nodded at him, not letting go of his hand until you got into the car. As soon as you and Shouta were in the car, Hizashi sped off.
“Heya listener, how did it go?” Hizashi asked out, peeking into the mirror looking back at you.
“I lasted longer than last year, so that’s a new record at least.” You joked, trying not to cry. At least not now, you had to make it until you were home and in bed, with your husband holding you close.
Hizashi talked most of the ride home, while Shouta kept glancing back at you. You tried to listen to what was being said, but you couldn’t focus, so you just looked out the window, slightly dozing off. You woke up to the feeling of being carried, your eyes adjusted as you saw Shouta was carrying you into the house and to the bedroom. On any other occasion, if he was carrying you like this you were bound to tease or crack a joke or something, but in this moment you just stayed in his arms, gripping onto him tightly. Once you both got to the bedroom, he helped you undress and slip on something comfy. After he finished helping you, he quickly changed and climbed into bed, pulling you close to him and holding you tightly.
For a while, you just laid there in his arms, fighting back the urge to scream and cry. Though, after he comforted you and let you know it was okay to be upset and that you could let it all out. In which you did, you sobbed in his chest for what felt like hours. You screamed and sobbed and let out all the feelings you bottled up for the few hours you were at the family gathering. Eventually, you ran out of tears to cry and were only left with your own thoughts. You were overthinking, mostly dwelling on the words your family spoke out to you this evening, and couldn’t help but question if it was true.
“Sho...I’ve got to ask you something, kind of important.” You gently pushed away and sat up in the bed, looking at him. He stared at you, and nodded, letting you know it was okay to continue on. You took a deep breath and went for it, “Am I enough for you? I brought a lot of baggage and trouble into our relationship and I know it can’t be easy for you dating me, specifically with the backlash and comments that get made by my family and others about me transitioning and just. If you were with anyone else, I feel like you won’t get all this drama and I’m sorry I’ve brought so much of it onto you Shouta.”
You watched as his facial expression changed and you quickly looked away, finding interest in anything that wasn’t his face, afraid of what his reaction not only meant but the words that were about to follow. “Y/N, please look at me.” You slowly looked up and he placed a hand on your cheek. “I love you Y/N. I love you for you, you are my husband and I won’t want anyone else besides me. You are more than enough for me. And we both have a lot of baggage but that doesn’t change my feelings for you, we can work through it all together. I meant what I said in my vows and at our wedding and I still stand by it. Forever and always.”
You fiddled with your fingers before speaking up, “I love you Shouta so much, I’m just afraid one day I won’t be enough, cause as silly as it is, I don’t feel masculine or manly enough, that you’ll find more of a ‘real’ man one day and just leave me behind.” Tears filled your eyes and you looked down, just wanting to hide under the blankets.
“Y/N Aizawa, you are absolutely masculine and manly enough. I will never find anyone else or more a man than you. You are all I want, and all I need. I love you so much, don’t ever doubt my love for you, cause it is never-ending sweetheart.” Shouta spoke out, lifting your head up and placing a small kiss on your forehead before pulling you into his arms, holding you close. You just stayed there close, as Shouta whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you drifted off to sleep.
Shouta always made the holidays more bearable, but he also made life in general easier. He made waking up a little easier and helped with your hectic thoughts to calm you down. He truly was the love of your life and the best you could ever ask for. You couldn’t have gotten any luckier to have a husband as sweet and perfect as you. He may not be the number one hero to the rest of the world, but in your eyes and his heart, he was, he was your number one hero.
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Guess the Two of Us
Hey folks! I’ve been watching Cut videos recently to get inspiration for more Lions social media fics and have found several wonderful ideas. This is based on the video where someone has to match up couples from a group people they’ve never met--I love O’Knutzy, but seeing as they’re not out yet, I did not include them in this.
Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Grace is mine! Let me know if you’re still enjoying the social media fics :)
“Do I just talk to the camera?” a young woman in a yellow dress asked. Someone offscreen nodded and she smiled. “Hello, hockey fans! I’m Grace and I’ll be doing a video for the Lion Pride channel today.”
“Grace, do you keep up with the hockey world?” Marlene’s voice was a bit muffled behind the camera.
“Not at all, I’m more into softball, baseball, that kind of thing.”
“Do you live in Gryffindor?”
“Nope! I’m visiting family and I was in the coffee shop across the street when someone offered to have me film a video for the network.”
“We’re going to bring ten people out and you’re going to match the couples. Sound good?”
“Oh, god, this is going to be hard,” Grace laughed. “Sure, I’ll give it a tryrst.”
“Alright, the rest of you can line up behind her. Grace, I’ll tell you when you can turn around and start guessing. You can ask them to hold hands, kiss, dance, whatever will give you a better idea of their relationship.” Ten people walked out from behind the camera into a loose semi-circle. “Ready? Go!”
“Whew, okay, no pressure.” Grace turned to face them. “Okay, first one.” She bit her lip and scanned the group, then pointed to Lily and Natalie hesitantly. “You both look very nice and very intimidating. Could you come here for a second and hold hands?”
“Are you using new moisturizer?” Lily asked as she twined their fingers together; Kasey covered his mouth in the background. “Your hands are so soft.”
Grace looked between them for a moment, narrowing her eyes. “As much as you two would make an absolute power couple, I think you’re just really good friends. Who’s the guy that’s laughing over there?”
“I’m Kasey,” he said around his laughter.
“You’re her boyfriend, aren’t you?” She gestured to Natalie; he didn’t answer the question, but she nodded anyway. “Yeah, I’m calling it.”
“Nat, Kasey, you guys can stand over to the left,” Marlene said.
“I’m feeling a little better now, this is good!” Grace said as she faced the others again, bouncing on her toes a bit. “Tall guy and slightly shorter guy, can you come up?”
“Since when am I ‘slightly shorter guy’?” James grumbled as he walked over with Sirius.
“Since we met! I’ve always been taller than you.”
“The banter is a good sign,” Grace mused. “Hmmm. If you’re comfortable, could you give him a kiss on the cheek?” Sirius leaned down and planted one on James, who grinned. “This is tough. You’re either dating or just, like, peak best friends.”
“You can ask them to say, ‘I love you’,” Marlene suggested out of frame.
Grace turned back to them. “Could you?”
They faced each other and James took Sirius’ hands, looking deep into his eyes. “I love you.”
“Love you, too—” Sirius caught himself at the last second and Grace sighed.
“You were going to finish that with ‘dude’ or something, weren’t you?” she asked; his poker face broke immediately. “Damn it. I thought I had that one.”
“She’s good at this,” Lily commented from the line.
“Can you come to the front for a second? Sirius, you can head back.”
Lily stuck her hands in her pockets as she stood next to James. “I get the slightly shorter guy. Nice.”
Grace paused. “At first I was almost positive you were together, but now I feel like you would step on him. Is that rude?” Everyone else started cheering and she smiled as James flushed. “Sorry, you just have a presence!”
“Thank you!”
“Alright, I can’t decide. You can both go back,” she finally said. Remus gave Lily a nudge as she returned to her place and Grace’s eyebrows rose. “Sweater guy, can you step up to the plate?” Remus obliged and she tilted her head to the side. “So, I was going to say you were Lily’s boyfriend because of the little moment back there, but there is no way you’re heterosexual.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose as the rest of the group burst out laughing. “I mean, you’re right, but holy shit that was fast. Twenty-five years of pretending to be straight, wasted.”
“Hey, same!” They high-fived and she surveyed the other seven people. “Hmmm. Can the guy in the red shirt come over for a minute?” Talker walked over with a wide grin on his face. “Oh, the vibe is definitely there. I feel like he steals your sweaters.” Out of Grace’s sightline, dawning horror overtook Sirius’ face. “Can you hug?”
“Yeah, sure.” Talker held his arms out and Remus settled into them, giving him a tight squeeze around the chest.
“I can see it, I can see it,” Grace said, nodding. “Yeah, I think you two are a couple.”
“Three pairs left,” Marlene said.
“How are all of you so pretty?” Grace sighed as she turned back to the group. “Can the lady in the purple shirt and the one who looks like she could bench-press me come forward? What do you two do for a living?”
“Professional hockey,” Noelle said.
June grinned. “I’m a mechanic.”
“That’s so cool. Hmm. Could you slow dance for a second?” June wrapped her arms around Noelle’s waist, leaving a decent amount of room between them as they swayed. “You’re so cute together, oh my god.”
“Is that a yes?” June asked as they separated.
“Absolutely.” Grace blew out a long breath. Only James, Sirius, Heather, and Lily were left. “This is so difficult. How did it get harder with fewer people? Well, the lovely lady in the jacket has a rainbow pin, so I’m going to say you two are together. I am a hundred percent sure those two guys aren’t dating because of the ‘bro’ thing, but there’s nobody else left.”
“Do you want to do a rematch before your final decision?” Marlene offered.
Grace looked over at the group of already-paired couples on the left. She hesitated, then shook her head. “I know I got at least two wrong, but I don’t want to mess everything else up.”
“In that case, you’re going to face the camera and close your eyes. Everyone, get together with your real partners and put rings on if you have them.”
“Rings?” Her jaw dropped. “Some of them are married?”
“There’s one married couple and two are engaged.”
“If I accidentally ruined someone’s future, please know that I am so sorry.”
“There’s a very low chance of that,” Sirius said as he slid his ring on.
“Okay, Grace, turn around.”
Grace turned and covered her mouth with both hands. “Awww! How many did I get right?”
“One.”
“One?” Kasey and Natalie waved, and she sighed. “Please tell me you’re at least engaged.”
“Nope, sorry.”
“Shit.”
“Let’s start with this end,” Marlene laughed. “Pots, Lils, go ahead.”
“For the record, she could definitely step on me.” James grinned and kissed Lily’s temple. “We’re the married ones.”
“Wait, that’s so cute,” Grace said softly. “I totally see it.”
“So, why didn’t you pair them up?” Marlene asked.
“I don’t know! It seems so obvious now. How long have you been together?”
Lily leaned her head on James’ shoulder. “We met about eight years ago, had a baby last winter, and got married this past summer.”
“Congratulations!” June and Heather walked up next, hand-in-hand. “Well, at least I didn’t put either of you with one of the guys.”
June shrugged. “Noelle’s a cutie. If I wasn’t already engaged to the love of my life, I’d go there.”
“I put you two together because you had the jock-for-jock thing going, but this right here is couple goals.” Grace sniffled slightly. “Is it normal to get emotional about other people’s love?”
“You have three other couples to get through, you can’t cry yet!” Heather teased playfully as they moved to the end of the line.
Natalie winked. “You had us figured out right away.”
“Your boyfriend couldn’t stop laughing!”
Kasey snorted. “Sorry, it’s just that there’s a running joke among our friends that Lily and Nat are the true power couple. Even I didn’t notice the hand lotion, and we live together.”
She gasped as Talker and Noelle took their place. “Wait, what?”
“Surprise, I’m not a lesbian!” Noelle said, doing jazz hands. “Very flattered, though.”
“How do all these make so much sense?” Grace shook her head in disbelief. “At least I wasn’t wrong about the jock-for-jock vibe for one of the couples.”
Marlene stepped slightly into view. “Why didn’t you put Thomas and Noelle with each other?”
Grace shrugged. “They both had such good chemistry with the other people in the group. I’m sure I would’ve paired them up if I had seen them together, though.”
“Alright, final couple.” Talker and Noelle joined the back of the line; Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist as they stepped forward.
“You were right about the jock thing for two of the couples, actually,” Remus said with a grin. “Very impressive.”
“How did I miss this?” Grace looked at the camera crew, then back at them. “How the hell did I miss this?”
“Don’t worry, we were all oblivious for about three and a half months,” James said ruefully.
“Are you all friends?”
“All the guys play for the Lions, Gryffindor’s hockey team,” Marlene explained.
“The hockey questions make a lot more sense now. Does that mean you two play for the same team?”
“Literally or figuratively?” The corners of Sirius’ mouth twitched up as James rolled his eyes. “Yes, and yes. I’m the team captain.”
“I play wing,” Remus said.
“Did you two meet through hockey?”
Remus made a ‘so-so’ motion. “Sort of. I was the Lions’ physical therapist for two years before I was a player. We started spending more time together after Sirius broke his ankle.”
“Are you the other engaged couple?” Sirius beamed and held up his left hand. “Yeah, I thought so. Congrats, you’re both adorable!”
“Merci.”
“Do you want to sign us off, Grace?” Marlene asked as Sirius and Remus rejoined the rest of the group.
She turned to the camera and waved. “Thanks for watching, everyone!”
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If your requests are open - it says they are but I always like to double check- could you do the OM brothers with a F!Mc that starts dating a girl from RAD ? I want pretty demon lady ... please devs make a female option.... 😳😳😳😳😳 if the relationship doesn’t work out that’s fine! I’m just simping for women
Requests will most likely always be open because I can never get enough of reading about these ideas and stuff... IDK I’m obsessed lol.
More lesbian MC stuff.... feeding me lately, Mira. Because I’m impulsive af I am now casually inserting an OC how everyone will eventually get to know better~... DW. She’s mostly nice.
Introducing, The Manipulator! Or as you may call her, Liza!
She has a bit of history with the boys, but nothing intimate. Without further ado, let’s get into the HCs.
F!MC Dates a Demon Girl from RAD
Lucifer is the first one trying to put a stop to this. How the fuck- why the fuck- what the fuck? When did you even get in contact with another demon? You were meant to be monitored 24/7 while out, especially at RAD. Did Mammon or any of his other younger brothers leave you unattended for that long!?
Not only does he, and most of his brothers, not like Liza, but they’re also incredibly jealous. It’s not like they’re owed anything, but...
Really? Of all the demons in this realm you’d pick, it’d be her? Now sure, none of them are perfect... Maybe with exception to Asmo with how often he cries about it, but...
Okay so maybe the pickings aren’t that great. They’re all guys and... maybe you just want to spice things up with a girl? They can understand that. I mean they clearly all like you in some shape or form.
Satan tries to understand her. They both have issues to work through. Serious ones. Ones regarding their situation around birth. He’s meant to be a constantly angry person, but he doesn’t want to seem that way. Liza is seen as someone who only lies, cheats, and manipulates to get what she wants... but Satan can see that’s not all she is. He’s suspicious of her, but doesn’t question it too much.
Belphie, just like Lucifer, is not having it, though. Liza? Really? If he weren’t trying to be respectful of your choices, he’d immediately list every reason why you shouldn’t have picked her. She’s manipulative- worse than him- she’s a liar, and she’s really mean. There were rumors she was created to be the exact opposite of Asmo, even.
But alas, they all keep their mouths shut. Life is good for you here in the Devildom, and who are they to stampede on that?
Things with Liza are actually great too. She takes you out almost daily, and while she can’t spend the night in the HoL for... various reasons... she visits when she can. Usually baring a gift.
She brings food or little plushies most of the time. Eventually she starts upgrading to gifts that last longer in your room. She takes to even bringing over beautiful Galaxy Roses just so you have something to have from her.
Don’t think your clothes are safe either. Nuh-uh. She’s taking your sweatpants, hoodies, jackets- all of it. Sometimes she gives them back. Most of the time she doesn’t. Your stuff is now her stuff. And her stuff is still hers but... she’ll share. :)
Because the guys clearly aren’t a fan of her, you two spend the majority of your time out together. Liza promises Lucifer that she’ll take good care of you. He doesn’t believe it, and thinks she’s plotting something, but realistically, she’s in love. Truly in love. Father may have made her differently from Asmo, but he gave her the ability to love and treat what’s hers properly.
Hell, there was a time when some demon was threatening your life over something. Probably a stupid thing, like bumping into them while walking. Before either of you could even swing, she had the demon in a headlock, threatening to snap their neck if they didn’t get down on their knees and apologize to you. You’d never been so moved in your life.
Speaking of her strength; it is considerable. She catches Beel at the gym often- in fact, he’s caught you both at the gym a few times before. He thinks its... a bit awkward. He and Liza hada few conversations, and she was nothing but considerate to him. But something always felt off. Like she was hiding something.
While respectful and willing to listen, Liza isn’t too keen on being... soft? She doesn’t mind vanilla, but I mean... You’re her little bunny. Are you gonna upgrade to Rope Bunny or what?
She is one of those types of people who are very straight forward. If you have a problem, she works to find a solution instead of outright comforting you right then and there. She often forgets there’s an emotional side to tend to, rather than a logical one. She does try to fit in the comforting afterwards, offering a hug and cradling you in her arms. She shushes you and kisses the top of your head, hoping that she’s doing it right.
As for having space...? Yeah, you can have it. Just ask. She doesn’t mind it. Honestly just tell her anything and she’d be willing tot ry and make an adjustment. Keyword is try.
She’s not really known love for thousands of years. True love anyways. It’s a work in progress, but if you tell her you don’t like one thing, she’ll try to do the exact opposite. If you tell her you need some time alone, she won’t throw a fit. Just huffs a little before leaving.
She’s a biiiig texter. Like... your phone will be blowing up. Morning texts every day without failure. They’re unique too, not a copy/paste. Way too many emojis.
Good🐣morning🌅 My MC💖🔥! I hope 🙏🏿 you had a great 👍🏿 sleep 😴. Here’s to a ✨ really great👌🏿day, 🏞️ my 💗 beautiful❤️incredible🌟love! I left you 🥺 a special bento 🍱 this morning! Please enjoy it! 💝💟
She’s honestly not perfect. She’s sometimes too clingy, and other times she’s a bit aggressive. She’ll ramble on about the guys, forgetting you live with them and know them so well. They’re like family to you, and you’re actively bad-talking some of them. Especially Lucifer. She’s pretty defensive about it too if you try to tell her to cut it out.
“MC... You have no idea how much suffering I’ve been through because of them. They’re cool people and all but... I can’t always been friendly about them, ya’know?”
She tries though. Kind of. The only one she can kind of have a conversation with is Satan. Maybe Beel ona good day.
Oh and competitive... don’t play games with her, please. She’ll get pissed off and sabotage everyone. No one is safe from her when she plays CLUE or Scrabble. She’s a lil’ dorky.
Having a pact with her isn’t that much of a big deal, really? She sort of... offers it to you one day. Like “Hey, so when are we gonna make that pact?” And then cringes at herself because she could have done so much better.
Like she sort of sees pacts as an engagement. Is she moving too fast? That’s up to you. But please make a pact with her. She loves you, MC. She wants to protect and hold and love...
Aside from all this, when you do go back to the human world, she’s right there at the portal giving you a hug and kiss goodbye. She doesn’t shed a single tear. At least not in front of you. When you are gone though, she’s much more angry and irritated. She’s snappy with the people around her, and she’s hurting because she never realized how dependant on you she was.
She needed you to feel like she was normal. Like she was excepted. It’s not like you’re gone forever, but you won’t be back in.... who knows how long?
You’re allowed to summon her whenever, at least. But just... obviously not as often, because getting back home can be annoying. Also because Lucifer is usually there, scolding her about “heading out without letting someone know.” As if she has much of a say. She usually doesn’t, with him talking so much. The bastard.
All in all, with Liza she is a girl who has your back. A bit much at times, but who doesn’t like a bit of excitement in their lives? She wants you to be able to understand her struggles, but it’s not her place to even tell her own story anymore. She just wants to forget, move on, and be with you. So please. Please stay in the Devildom a bit longer, next time...?
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Bring them to your home for the holidays {HCs}
Includes: Oikawa, Akaashi, Noya, Terushima, Kiyoko
THIS IS WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE READER! ALSO, ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!
Author’s note: In my family, thanksgiving means the Christmas stuff is put up after breakfast, so I got this idea ab the holidays and I got v happy. Enjoy!
Warnings: None, fluffy holidays for y’all!
Oikawa
okay mans HATES the cold confirmed
like snow comes he’ll probably hiss
(HISSING AT SNOW ME HONESTLY LMAO)
(Not me seeing a few feet of snow with my sisters and going “wow look at all that cocaine”)
ANYWAY
so y’all met when both of you happened to be in Brazil and he thought you were cute
long story short you had a few dinner dates, even hung out with Hinata!!
you guys hit it off very well :)
so you guys have been together for about 2 years and you’re like ya know what
“Come to my house for the holidays :)”
not only is this man a simp but he loves the warmth so ofc he says yes!!
so while you’ve lived here all your life, only really moving out of Tampa to Miami, you did have to take this tourist him to a basic spot
but you did want to take him to some of your favorite places
after him seeing your family again, you took him to one of your favorite carnivals!
then classic gotta go to the beach I mean
why not go to the ocean!!
issue with December weather in Florida is it changes every second so today was a bit C H I L L E D
(You did have to force him to eat something other than rice tho)
Picky eater kawa confirmed
what better way to spend December 25th than Disney
I mean
Mans whole went “wow 😍” when you told him
Kiyoko
BEST WOMAN I LOVE WOMEN
ahem
you were an exchange student during her whole high school career, turning into best friends and deciding to go to college together
college came along, and with the help of a few friends, parties, and a little too much twister, you realized
you were actually lesbian.
which you know what, we support!
it’s not like you’ve never liked a boy, it just happened to be that women were more your type
oh yeah another thing
Kiyoko is the prettiest thing in your eyes.
OH ANOTHER ANOTHER THING
HAVE I MENTIONED YOU REALIZED THAT YOU’VE ACTUALLY LIKED HER SINCE YOUR 1ST YEAR IN COLLEGE
NO?
OKAY.
so what you DONT know is that Kiyoko has realized she actually feels the same
during your third year in college, she had broken up with her boyfriend of a year, Tanaka, but never told you why
Huh
i wONdEr whY
But, after living in Japan for 7 years, Christmas time is rolling around once again
And you are going home for the holidays!
usually you would go home during summer break, but this time you really wanted to spend Christmas since your older brother had your niece!
and since Kiyo didn’t have any plans you were like
“hey, do you want to come home with me?”
home girl choked on her water 😳
“H-home?”
“Yeah! I’m going back to New Orleans for the holidays.”
cue brain calming down and like sLIGHT disappointment
but
it’s you
and she loves you.
HANGING OUT WITH YOU SORRY
so you guys did presents and stuff
your niece LOVES Kiyoko btw
your dad was like “👀”
I SEE YOU YOU SEE ME MAn
been knew you were 💅AND HE SUPPORTS
so around 4 you’re like let’s go do something!!
and she says okay!!
so one movie Kiyoko really loved was “Princess and the Frog”
Funny enough there’s actually a bakery you’ve gone too growing up
so you get New Orleans’ best beignets!
Ahh, fun times
next, you’ll always hear some type of caroling anywhere you are in the city
which means?
SMALL PARTIES
DANCING
FUN TIMES
you see random groups of people smiling around 7pm, the sun already down
and you’re thinking to yourself
Hey
I want to ask her to dance.
and you do :)
YALL BUST D O W N LIKE YES MAAMS
continuing
Finally at around 10pm you take her to this one street where each place has a bunch of Christmas wonderlands lit up
hile it doesn’t really snow in New Orleans, people used fake snow!!
gotta get that spirit somehow 😗
when I say Kiyoko is a goddess I mean it
the lights bouncing off her face while she’s smiling?
*chefs kiss*
Terushima
ah yes the city that everyone thinks is a state
IM SORRY J
BUT IM NOT EHDJFJHH
So
Chicago!! ✨
Terushima HAS visited Illinois before
However, surprisingly has never been to Chicago
So you were like
I’m born here!! 🥰
Come come!!🥺
And he said
Si si!! 🤪
so y’all flew out on the 20th
while your parents don’t live here, some old friends do
and why not have them meet your amazing boyfriend!
literally all of them were shocked I mean
(Y/N) likes a boy with a tongue piercing?
wack
the amount of BONKERS
but yes you love him very much
and he loves you!!
honestly your friends already fell in love with you two being in love it’s canon
afterwards you guys went too ZooLights
HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU
“YUJI MY PANTS ARE WET”
“IM SORRY PRINCESS IT WAS JUST A GOOD TIMING-“
you threw one at his face
Not y’all fighting like little kids-
n e wayz
best way to end the 24th?
ice skating-
nope.
It’s actually buying late presents because you two actually forgot to get some people presents and Christmas is literally in like 4 hours!!
YOU COULDNT CATCH YUJI IF YOU TRIED😳
MANS WAS ZOOMIN THROUGH EVERY STORE
GRANDMA? GOT IT
UNCLE? SURE
NEPHEW? YOU DONT EVEN GOT A NEPHEW
It was mega fun tho
surprisingly y’all didn’t get kicked out
you almost did when Terushima thought it would be a good idea to ride a skateboard into the electronics section at target 🤡
but we will ignore that for tonight ❤️
Akaashi
A NOTE:
this one will be the longest one with the most detail for certain reasons! also, for akaashi’s you do have a given birthday because Dec 30th is actually my birthday and I wanted to sprinkle in some of that ❤️
alright
best for last :)
So you got to be in an exchange program during college
and that’s when you met akaashi since you guys were in the same classes!
he also showed you around and was very sweet
so you offered to get him coffee
and after a while he confessed by giving you a copy of a book you both really loved
but
you semester was ending
which means home for the holidays
luckily, you guys would only have one more semester away from eachother before you guys graduated
but you did want to spend the holidays together
so you offered for him to come to New York with you
boy got excited so fast my heart-
wOOSH FOR THIS MAN
But like Christmas in New York with your loving boyfriend of 4 years?
Sign me up
So you know that during winter it’s a hit or miss with snow
is it still freezing cold?
Yes.
But can we guarantee 3 feet of snow every December?
No.
But we can guarantee it in like March JEJHRTJ
so
one thing you told him immediately was that you guys will be watching the ball drop from the roof
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to get mugged, shoved, or vomit on my shoes, Keiji.”
Yes ma’am indeed
so you guys had a pretty (quiet?) Christmas
your family?
LOUD AS CAN BE
but
Regarding to going places
You guys chilled all day in pajamas
Like the most y’all did was go to dunkin for hot chocolate
but the days leading to New Years?
GOTTA GO GO GO
Classic tree photo yes ma’am
nut crackers AND THOSE GIANT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND ORNAMENTS ACROSS FROM JIMMY FALLONS STUDIO?
Y’ALL KNOW THE STREET I FORGET THE STREET LMAO
bro side note their kabobs in that one corner
best thing I’ve ever had I stg
I haven’t been to the city since last Christmas wow now I miss it
OKAY NVM SORRY
you wanted to show Keiji so many things
but
You were used to walking like 10 blocks in any shoes as fast as you can
Akaashi was not 😂
So y’all had to take breaks sometimes
get him warmed and fed ya know
give the man smoochies 🥺
id be giving him smoochies 24/7 if I could
so you better for me 😠
His favorite place was the big Macy’s no lie
the perfumes and cologne section on the 2nd floor looked SO WELL PUT TOGETHER
okay nvm scratch that
FAO Schwartz was his favorite place
he loved the trains
you bought him a train as a late present SHH NO ONE SAY NOTHIN
So the 29th you decided to take him to where you were born
Brooklyn!
it was super fun showing him where you lived before you went to college
and before your siblings moved to different parts of the city
It was lovely
But the final thing you wanted to do was December 30th
your birthday :)
and one thing you absolutely love to do is ice skating
now usually you go ice skating at the public rink like a few minutes away from Rockefeller rink
not only was it cheaper, but there was a Panera like 2 blocks away so quick food!
but
you also wanted to give Keiji the experience
so you sucked it up and paid
you guys went at around 8 and had a blast
one of the best birthdays with him honestly
but, you realized people were starting to exit the rink at around 10
“Doesn’t the rink close at midnight?”
“Huh, weird.”
but Keiji kind of starts looking around while you realize you two are the only ones on the ice
So you’re like
I guess we have to get off 😔
But this sly fox
Pulls you to the center of the rink
Now, you were never one for the cliché act
Especially since so many proposals have happened on this rink that you’ve seen
But when you saw Keiji get to one knee
It didn’t even matter that this happened to so many other people
It was happening to you.
And it’s ESPECIALLY CLICHE
THAT IT WAS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY
however
I guess you can just suck it up, cuz at least you have a ring on your finger :)
- Lex 🖤🤍
End note: Let me know if you guys would like a part 2! Also if you have any ideas for a certain character or place, put it in asks!
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character ask: kagami, momoi, alex and himuro 👀👀👀
!!! omg thank u Ceru! u might be one of my favorite mutuals <33 (putting this under a read more just so I can speak at lengths about each individual character)
Why I like Kagami: this is where I sarcastically ask “why DON’T i like him” but that’s literally the next question so; he’s everything i want to be and more. He has the determination and the willpower to make his own dreams come true, he’s gay as shit, he’s tall and buff and well-adjusted, mature enough to live on his own at an annoyingly young age, he’s funny and dumb and a total himbo as well as an excellent advisor bc of how grounded he is.
Why I don’t: I’m... not really good with explosive people. Violent men with loud voices especially scare me, and I’d think I’d flinch around him a lot and that would make me rlly anxious.
Favorite episode: it’s a toss-up between the Seirin fam visiting his place for the first time (is it where Kuroko confesses his love to him and then passes out in his arms? idk), and the onsen episode. I also loved all his plays against Kise and Aomine. AND the training camp w him running a lot in the sand.
Favorite season/movie: season 2 probably because he’s not a jerk anymore, but he’s still on his way to shed off any asshole behavior stuck to him. And I actually liked Last Game?
Favorite line: “There’s no such thing as useless effort.” and “This is our drama and we write the plot.” because he’s so ridiculous.
Favorite outfit: all of his casual fits... comfy but manly is my Jam
OTP: AoKaga....they’re truly soulmates, star-crossed lovers, canonically brought together by fate.
Brotp/otp no. 2: KagaKuro, I love them
Head Canon: I have several collections because I think too much about this boy, but here’s something I think about his family: he doesn’t know what happened to his mom. He never asked, because it wasn’t relevant, and he didn’t want to inconvenience his dad by questioning him. Occasionally, as a kid he felt like he was missing out on something (seeing other kids with their moms, feeling like they’re being treated with much more gentle care because they have moms), but as he grew older he realized that nurturing behavior shouldn’t have been limited to only a mother, and that he was just straight up neglected without any regards to missing a parent in his life.
Unpopular opinion: I never realized this was an unpopular opinion but I’m glad he went back to America at the end of Last Game. Obviously, it’s sad that he had to separate from the others, but I felt like Japanese basketball has always been just a stepping point to him, and now that he’d beat the best of them, it was time to move on. And it also warms my heart that him getting scouted in the US gave Aomine hope to aim big, too. I felt like both of them would’ve felt trapped in Japan with their skill sets.
A wish: I want him to be happy and gay and to confront Himuro and tell him how hurt he was by how he treated him and probably do the same to his dad too
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: ....whatever I’d say Shinsun has probably written it/will write it, but I don’t want him to forget about the GoM just because he becomes a world-famous athlete.
5 words to best describe them: sweet child with anger issues
My nickname for them: not mine (it’s Sypha’s) but “Kags”, Kagami, Tigerboy, Kagababe, Baby
Why I like Momoi: she is SO nurturing and sweet and she cares so much about her boys!! I’m sorry it always turns into “how they remind me of myself” but actually I get feeling like a background character and being the moral/emotional/physical support of those who are more talented or in any way better than you. I feel a strange kind of kinship with her and also,,, feminine girls make my heart stop, and it doesn’t get more feminine than Momoi. Added: Aomine aside, the Touou team wouldn’t worth shit without her skills tbh, and she’s not in any way less than the GoM. Also, I appreciate her being the one person to try to keep their friend group together.
Why I don’t: Analytical People Scare me like!! how do u know stuff people are Unknowable!! I usually am also irked by her pointing out Riko’s breast size but I can just pretend that’s in a gay way (maybe Momoi likes girls with small boobs and she’s just bad at flirting) (also I don’t exactly liked her calling Aomine a “ganguro” but I have too little knowledge on the use of this word to say exactly why)
Favorite episode (scene if movie): uh the one where Aomine made her cry? It really came through how much love she actually has for her friends at that one.
Favorite season/movie: she was great in all of them!!
Favorite line: I can’t remember the exact quote and Google isn’t really helpful either but the one where she made Kuroko promise they’ll always play together or something? Or that they’re gonna beat Aomine?? idk?
Favorite outfit: I like all of them but mostly I just appreciate her wearing so many hoodies, she looks so cute in them
OTP / Brotp: it’s both AoMomo. I feel like the have the most special and strongest bond in the entire series.
Head Canon: She’s never been shown to do, but I feel like she wears Aomine’s clothes a Lot. Also, they definitely have sleepovers To This Day.
Unpopular opinion: Momoi is good at basketball and she loves playing!!! But try being successful in it when ur opponents are Giants and Way More Buff than you are
A wish: I wish people appreciated her more!! Both in fandom and in canon. She’s an amazing person and she has her own skills and strengths that are rarely explored or even mentioned anywhere.
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her falling out with her boys ;-; I do not want that
5 words to best describe them: strawberry sweetheart to steal ur heart
My nickname for them: Satsuki :> I feel like it’s a little too much to call characters on their first names sometimes but hers is so cute I can’t
Why I like Alex: yet again another woman with an extensive skill set. I love her persistence and again I appreciate getting disillusioned and finding your way back to the thing you love. Also it’s just sweet that she did that by teaching (again, something I can relate to)
Why I don’t: the whole “kissing children” thing rubbed me the wrong way but again, just like Momoi’s obsession with comparing breast sizes, it’s just bad/sexist writing from Fujimaki probably
Favorite episode (scene if movie): adshg any and all where she expressed that Himuro and Kagami are equally important to her <33 that shit makes my heart burst
Favorite season/movie: she only appears towards the end of s2 and in s3 so... I guess s3?
Favorite line: its so Bad that u literally can’t find the iconic quotes of these iconic ladies anywhere but... her story on finding her passion again through teaching kids, and anytime she mentions her fondness of Kagami and Himuro.
Favorite outfit: her iconic olive green coat with the short red shorts... wtf was that I loved it.
OTP: she doesn’t really interact with people her age but I’ve heard she’s shipped with Masako Araki and I’ve seen some seriously good fanarts and like... Yes Good I’d Love To See It
Brotp: I feel like her and Himuro would be that sassy pair that Kagami tries and fails to contain and they get into all sorts of weird, absurd situations asdjs what I’m trying to say is Kagami has to bail them out of jail from time to time
Head Canon: fck me if I’m wrong but she’s the lesbian single mom of the two gay kids she reluctantly adopted from the streets
Unpopular opinion: it’s more like another headcanon, but she can dunk and she taught Kagami how to do it.
A wish: I’d love her to coach the Seirin fam more!! Pls let her be part of her children’s lives (she could also judge streetball games between the goms it would be fun)
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: anything about her being romantically involved with her pupils makes me.................no
5 words to best describe them: Beautiful Beach Blonde Basketball....goddess
My nickname for them: Alex!! sometimes An Icon
Why I like Himuro: em dash Asdgsdj I’m joking, I’m becoming more and more fond of the boy. Once I realized that he shouldn’t have been the “bigger person” in that situation and one year doesn’t really mean much when you’re that young and that hurt, I realized he’s actually a good and hard-working kid and I’m sorry for giving him so much shade. Also I really like his snark and sass, but that might not even be canon at this point tbh
Why I don’t: I’m still sort of irked by him beating down on Kagami because he was envious/mad, but I realized the aspect of that situation that Really got to me was how devoted Kagami still was to him after all that. That devotion was what felt toxic, nothing that Himuro actually did to him.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): the time they met up w Kagami just to exchange a dramatic socially distancing bro fist and a few encouraging words.... gays be Like That
Favorite season/movie: I really didn’t mind s3 Himuro
Favorite line: apparently he’s said some iconic stuff that I don’t remember (and my sources don’t seem really legit) but I’m gonna say “let’s see you become number 1, bro” because again, that’s just so ridiculous and endearing. On one hand he really went from loathing Kagami to rooting for him and wanting him to reach his full potential and on the other, honey ur like 17 stop speaking like That
Favorite outfit: his knitted V-neck sweaters and the black coat with the white fur.... boy’s got all the fashion sense that’s missing from Kagami
OTP: can I say.....AoHimu asdfh I ship 3/4 of these characters with Aomine what does that say about me
Brotp: KagaHimu. They can be sweet, but I’ve only ever seen Jake write them really well
Head Canon: I’ve been entertaining the idea of....trans Himuro.....
Unpopular opinion: everyone thinks that Kagami is the violent kid and Himuro is the chill, sweet child who’s somehow wound up with this mess of a fiery tiger, but it’s actually Himuro who taught Kagami how to fight and Kagami learned quite a lot of aggression from him
A wish: I feel like Himuro should’ve gotten a separate episode to explore his thoughts, feelings and past. He had so much potential as a character Is2g
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: him quitting basketball would fucking destroy me. I’d be devastated for others too, but it would really pull on my heartstrings if he just dropped the only thing he’s been so passionate about.
5 words to best describe them: gender-non-conforming emo child
My nickname for them: Himu, Tatsuya, Tatsu
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No Happy Endings
The oppressive weight of mental isolation never quite goes away when there’s no one who can relate to your issues. If you have a crush or miss your mom, people will listen to you pour your heart out. They’ll sympathize with you as you cry and tell you how to get through it. But when you’re a 20-something bisexual woman in a scarily-perfect relationship with a man who you’ve been with for your entire life but you don’t know how you’ll ever live without experiencing loving and being loved by a woman and fully immersing yourself in your queer identity, you sit in your dark living room at 2 a.m. and cry. There isn’t anyone to talk to. There is no one who will guide you and tell you everything will make sense one day. I suppose you could go to therapy, but that would require money or health insurance, neither of which your entry level 20-something job provides. So it’s back to the crying.
It’s really dark in my small living room. No moonlight is reflected in the clean space. It’s a new moon tonight, and it amplifies the loneliness. Sometimes I imagine the moon knows. She knows the challenges I’m facing and the answers to them. She provides me with the proper reflections that get me to a better mental place. But tonight I sit, cold and truly alone. It’s so quiet, too. I feel like I’m in a sensory deprivation tank. It’s a shitty night to be deep in my gay woes. My brain is the only thing moving.
My only way to cope with these feelings essentially gets me nowhere. I come to no conclusions, but I do escape my intrusive thoughts. It helps me to make a list of everything I feel, starting from the most immediate to the more latent. Right now, I feel sad that I’m never going to be able to touch a woman lovingly. My fingers will never cup a breast or explore another woman sexually. I’ll never kiss a woman. I’ll never have a wife. She’ll never wake me up in the morning with breakfast and I’ll never take her dancing. We won’t start a family or go on picnics or buy a house because she doesn’t exist. That life doesn’t exist for me.
Here is where the crying generally starts. Just a slow tear or two pooling in my eyes, like my body knows to hold back for the heavier stuff. It only gets more complicated from here.
From there I recognize that I feel guilty. The love of my life is upstairs sleeping peacefully. He’s resting in our bed, in our room, in our apartment that we share a lease on. We patiently waited for the day when we would have a home of our own where we could start our lives together. We have that now, and I am so grateful. I am unfathomably thankful for him and our animals and our life. He is truly different from any other man I have ever encountered. He is gentle and warm and loving and soft and caring. He carried me through my worst depression. I would not be here without him. Why should I want any more than this? I love my life! I love him. I’ve seen myself marrying him for ten years, and that has never changed. I hate myself for wanting...not necessarily more. Not more than him. Different than him. Different than what he can give me. He satisfies me in every way that he possibly can in our relationship. I love doing the same for him. And I feel wretched inside knowing that despite all of this perfection, my heart yearns for something else as much as it yearns for what I have. It’s not fair to him.
More tears come, forcing themselves out of the corners of my eyes. They fall quietly down my cheeks. I am still.
I also feel worried that I don’t actually know myself. I’ve only ever been with him. He was my first everything. I’ve only been out of the closet for two years, and I’ve only been with him since. I know that I’m attracted to mostly women. I could never see myself with another man in a serious way. I could only ever imagine sleeping with maybe three or four other men, and all but one of those men is a celebrity. I often wish that I were a lesbian, and then I worry that I am a lesbian. It would make perfect sense, and really the only evidence I have to support the idea that I’m not a lesbian is my current relationship. So I’m worried that I’m misunderstanding my identity because of the love I have for a man I’ve been with since I was 14. I’m worried that if I am a lesbian, twenty years from now I’ll ruin our marriage because I can no longer be fulfilled with what I have.
That thought really gets the tears flowing. The idea that I could ruin everything I’ve ever wanted with him all because I might not understand myself now is excruciating. I don’t make a sound, but I’m having to blink through the tears. I wipe them away a few times, hoping to move on in clarity.
I move on to feeling a fear, however fleeting it may be, that I have invented bisexuality and everyone else is correct. Several people in my life, both gay and straight, invalided my identity when I came out as bi. I was told that such a thing doesn’t exist, that I’d choose eventually. I never thought that was true. But at moments like these their words invade my insecure headspace. I move on from that fear quickly because obviously bisexuality is real and anyone who says otherwise is a biphobic dick, but it’s hard to ignore the idea that perhaps I’m justifying staying in my relationship despite my overwhelming attraction to women by claiming I’m attracted to my gender and other genders. I scoff at myself at this stage.
The tears don’t last very long. I’m not really a crier, and I need to move on to more hidden feelings. I dry my face and relax. My cycle is almost finished.
At this moment, I believe the only other thing I feel is contentment. I have so many things I never dreamed I would have. I share a dwelling with my partner and our pets. I just got a new job with better hours and more money. My mother just came to visit me for a week, and that breathed life into me. I’m healthy and so is my family. My bills are paid and there’s food in the kitchen. Life is more than okay. At this moment, everything is more than okay.
I feel relief.
Until tomorrow.
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fic rec masterpost
I finally have enough fics to start compiling them in one place! Just a few notes before we get started:
This list will be updated in the future! I’m putting everything under a cut, so I can add, edit, and remove things to my liking.
All fics are complete, unless otherwise noted.
Feel free to send in your own suggestions for additions!
Some of these fics didn’t have proper author-ordained summaries, so I wrote some of them up myself, or edited them to be more summary-like.
No matter how good the plot, dialogue, or prose is, no fic containing explicit sexual content (read: smut) will make it onto this list. Sorry! I’m not into that sort of thing.
————
And now: to the fics!
(Re: the “relationship” segment - I’ve taken to using AO3′s tag system here, so a forward slash ( / ) indicates or hints at a romance, while an ampersand ( & ) is meant to be more familial or platonic. And don’t worry - if there’s a slash between two characters who are children, there won’t be anything nasty in there. They’re just kids!)
twilight princess
title: Chiaroscuro
author: Xekstrin
words: 1,861
tags: Post-Canon, Drama, Bittersweet
relationship: Link/Midna, Link/Zelda, Midna/Zelda
summary: Zelda and Link learn how to talk to each other. They paint a picture of someone they miss.
notes: Don’t shy away from that weird title! A beautiful depiction of Link and Zelda’s life after the broken mirror that involves them continuing to live their lives. And not, y’know, wallowing in angst.
————
title: From the Shadows
author: Ophelia_Black
words: 59,438 (**ONGOING**)
tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Ending, Marriage of Convenience
relationship: Midna/Zelda
summary: The Shadow Invasion left wounds across both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm, and neither Zelda nor Midna are eager to face the task of binding them up. Old prejudices and weaknesses are laid bare, and the idea is posed of reuniting the two realms to prosper together. Is their plan a folly born of desperation, or the most revolutionary undertaking either kingdom has seen in centuries?
notes: After putting it off for a long, long while, I finally dipped into this bad boy, and man oh man, I was not disappointed. There is so much attention to detail and care that has gone into breathing life into a world we get such a small glimpse of in the game, and Ophelia kicks ass at writing even the simplest of actions. Did I mention Midna and Zelda are gonna get married?
————
title: Fairytales
author: UnderTwilight
words: 515
tags: Humor, Fluff
relationship: Link/Midna
summary: Link believes he has the solution the imp-sized problem his companion faces.
notes: Short, sweet, and not as incredibly out-of-character as so many other fics like it. Worth a minute of your time.
————
title: not irreversible
author: Elendraug
words: 3,603
tags: Post-Canon, Happy Ending
relationship: Link/Midna
summary: The Mirror’s destruction was not inevitable, but destroyed it very much was. He’ll find his way back to her. No matter how long it takes.
notes: The very first Midlink fic I had the pleasure of reading, and still one of my favorites. As of this writing, the only reunion story I’ve read that didn’t feel cheap and lazy.
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title: Bartending 101
author: khaki knight
words: 2,538
tags: Post-Canon, Drama
relationship: Link/Midna, Link/Ilia (Implied One-Sided)
summary: “A bartender is only ever as content as her customers…” In the aftermath of Twilight, Telma receives an unexpected guest in need of some guidance.
notes: What can I say? I love me some Telma. Is it because she’s a bartender? That’s it, isn’t it? I blame the DnD lover in me.
————
title: Seeing You
author: KaeStela
words: 840
tags: Post-Canon, Bittersweet
relationship: Link/Midna
summary: Maybe "see you later" can happen after all.
notes: Who knew that first-person could be written well after all? This is the kind of stuff I live for. Thematic, succinct, mute Link, happy but not “she found her way back after like a year and they got married and had babies” happy. Simply beautiful.
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title: The Ever Under
author: AzarDarkstar
words: 2,031
tags: Alternate Ending, Drama
relationship: Link/Midna
summary: In a world where Link followed Midna through the Mirror of Twilight, now shattered beyond repair, happy endings are what we make of them.
notes: This one hits hard. That’s all I’ll say.
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title: No Such Counsel
author: Guardian1
words: 2,753
tags: Post-Canon, Drama
relationship: Link/Midna, Link/Zelda (Implied One-Sided)
summary: “Wolf or dog, what does it matter?” “Dogs, Princess–dogs wait forever!”
notes: Admittedly, I don’t much like the way Zelda is characterized here (TP Zelda is obviously a lesbian, and damn, leave poor Ashei alone!), but I’m including it because it’s written fairly well and the ending is humorous and clever.
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title: You
author: godtierGrammarian
words: 4,272
tags: Alternate Universe (Modern), Happy Ending
relationship: Link/Midna
summary: When Link is eight, new neighbors move in across the street, and so begins the greatest adventure of his life.
notes: This fic was so damn good I made a FF.net account right after I read it for the first time just so I could review it. Can you believe that? Making a FF.net account in 2019? I didn’t even think a modern AU could be good!
————
title: no matter how long it takes
author: Elendraug
words: 1,128
tags: Mid-Canon, Fluff
relationship: Colin/Ralis
summary: Colin promises to watch over a sick Prince Ralis after he is brought to Kakariko.
notes: This is one of the first rarepairs I ended up getting swept up into around the time I first started this blog. I am eternally grateful that even a single fic exists, and that is was written but the same person who wrote not irreversible, because that’s just damn good writing. Anyways, Colin is a Young Gay, change my mind.
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majora’s mask
title: King of the Fishing Hole
author: Ibijau
words: 4,281
tags: Alternate Universe, PTSD
relationship: Link & Ganondorf
summary: Ganondorf owns the Swamp Fishing Hole, a good way to stay near his aging mothers. It's quiet work. Until the moon starts falling, and an odd child comes visiting.
notes: Ganondorf is just A Dude in Termina - honestly, this is how the game should have been. A real missed opportunity there. This was such a fun and interesting read, so much so that it earns its spot as the first non-TP fic on this list!
————
minish cap
title: Stoneheart
author: Ophelia_Black
words: 6,675
tags: Canon Compliant, Angst with a Happy Ending
relationship: Link & Zelda
summary: The prophetic visions and blind musings of Princess Zelda as she waits, sealed in stone, for a rescue that might never arrive.
notes: I’ve never given Minish Cap much more than a single playthrough without a spare thought, and this made me cry. You’d think a story told from the point of view of someone who has been turned to stone would be boring. You’d think wrong.
————
other
title: Don’t Say That I Didn’t Love You
author: Ophelia_Black
words: 4,000
tags: Canon Compliant, Angst & Hurt/Comfort
relationship: Midna/Zelda, Link/Midna, Hilda/Zelda, Link/Marin
summary: It’s hard to say goodbye. A series of 500 word drabbles, in which final farewells are said to Fi, Ezlo, Navi, Tatl, Midna, Aryll, Marin, and Princess Hilda.
notes: Like it says on the tin. There’s not much I can say here, except, y’know, read it, because everything Ophelia puts to paper is pure gold. Spoiler alert: the Link’s Awakening one hurts the most.
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A Study in Fate - Chapter 7
Buffy was still shell-shocked in place when Lucy reappeared in front of her.
“C-coffee,” she explained, pointing to the machine.
“I- yeah, of course.” Buffy stepped out of the way. “You said you needed chocolate?”
“Yeah, I did,” Lucy confirmed, smiling at the girl beside her as she slid a five dollar bill into the machine. “TJ wanted it,” she added quickly.
“Okay, then.”
“I’m gonna go get that now,” Lucy stammered, stepping around Buffy and quickly rushing down the hall.
“Wait- Lucy!” Lucy spun on her heel, a confused look on her face. “What… was that?”
“Listen, Buffy. I shouldn’t have done that,” she said, stepping closer to her. “This is so going to sound like a card, but I just got out of a really messed up relationship back home. I think I really need some time on my own, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, seriously. Can I at least get your number?”
“I can do that,” Lucy agreed, holding out a hand for Buffy’s phone. She quickly typed in her number, sending herself a text message. She smiled slightly as she set her contact name to Lucy and handed it back.
“Thanks,” Buffy said, voice clearly several decibels quieter than before.
“Actually… I’ll do you one better.” Lucy pulled Buffy in for a careful, chaste kiss.
“Thank you. Again.”
“I should get back.” Lucy pulled her phone from her pocket to save Buffy’s number, tapping it against her palm. She started to turn away before second-guessing herself and facing Buffy again. “One more.”
“What?” Buffy asked, but Lucy was already moving in to kiss her for a third time.
“Now it’s my turn to thank you,” she said, winking at Buffy. With that, she marched back down the hallway, ponytail swinging behind her.
“Still didn’t get her chocolate,” Buffy grumbled, rounding a corner back into the waiting room.
“There you are!” her mom exclaimed, gesturing for her to come closer. “Where have you been?”
“In that hallway? With Lucy, remember?” Buffy said, glancing at Emily.
“It’s been like 15 minutes,” Pat pointed out. “Don’t know how to find coffee and chocolate in a hospital?”
“No, we found it pretty fast- the coffee, anyway. We never really got around to finding the chocolate.
“We… Ran into Cyrus?” she said slowly, praying they wouldn’t elaborate.
“Yes they did!” A voice rang out behind her, and then Cyrus was slinging an arm around her shoulder. “And we had a lovely conversation about… Boats?”
Note to self: Appreciate Cyrus more.
“Yes, boats,” Buffy said, going along with it to the best of her ability. “We got into a debate about where the Niña, Pinta, and Santa Maria landed.”
“Lucy was right,” Cyrus added.
“How does one get into a debate about boats?”
“Lucy… said something or other like ‘since the Niña, Pinta, and Santa Maria landed on Watling Island’...And we got into a debate.”
“About boats,” Pat said, clearly confused.
“About boats,” Cyrus confirmed.
“Boats,” Buffy repeated.
“And this is where I take my leave,” Emily said, chuckling. “I have to get Lucy and TJ home soon. I’ve been given a very sternly worded warning that visiting hours are ending about three times now.”
“Okay,” Buffy nodded. “Oh, and Emily? Amber’s going to be okay.”
“Thank you,” Emily said, smiling gently.
“I have to run to the restroom,” Pat said, standing up as Emily left. “I’ll be right back.”
“Alright.” Buffy watched her disappear in the opposite direction of Emily, before whirling around to face Cyrus. “Help.”
“With what?” he asked, eyes widening.
“I kissed a girl. Lucy. I kissed Lucy. Well, Lucy kissed me. I don’t even know if that matters. Just- we kissed.”
“You kissed?!”
“Three times.”
“Way to bury the lead!” Cyrus exclaimed.
“What are you talking about? I told you flat out that I kissed her!”
“Not three times,” he pointed out.
“What does that matter?”
“Three times means it meant something.”
“By what rule?”
“Come on, Buff. One could be a fluke, two is a question, three means something.” Cyrus swatted her arm like he was disappointed she didn’t understand.
“What kind of 8-year-old girl code bullshit is that?”
“8-year-old girl code? Wouldn't it just be girl code? Does girl code change?”
“Well yeah,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “When you're little it's like ‘don't date your best friend's exes’. And then you grow up and suddenly it's like ‘if you walk into a party together you walk out together’ and ‘if you're drunk I'm not leaving your side until I get your wasted ass home’.”
“...Huh. But wouldn’t the three kiss rule transcend years?”
“It’s not even a rule!” Buffy protested. “This isn’t baseball, Cyrus. You don’t get three strikes at kissing. Sometimes they matter, sometimes they don’t. Number doesn’t matter. Three kisses didn’t matter in my case.”
“Okay, then.”
They were quiet for a few moments before Cyrus turned to face her.
“Just- one more thing?”
“What, Cyrus?”
“Did you… want it to mean something?” he asked gingerly. “Please don’t kill me or anything, but… You just seem a little shaken up over this. Are you maybe… Do you maybe… have feelings for her?”
“No, of course not. Well, yes. No. Yes? I don’t know yet. Maybe.” Buffy’s eyebrows furrowed as she buried her face in her hands. “I don’t even know if I like girls to begin with, Cy. How am I supposed to figure this out?”
“Hey, hey. Take a deep breath. Do you want to tackle this now? Or would you rather I leave it alone?”
“I want to face this. Not here though, somewhere… private? I don’t know how that’s gonna work out in a hospital…” Buffy looked around nervously, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Would it be weird to do this in the chapel?” Cyrus asked. “It’s private, and it’s that or the bathroom.”
“Yeah, no. We’re just gonna step outside. I’m not gonna kick someone out of the chapel, Cy. They’re probably like, praying for their family. I’m not about to interrupt that for a sexuality crisis.”
“I respect that. Let’s go get some air, yeah?” Buffy nodded, quickly texting her mom and following Cyrus outside. The second they sat down, though, Buffy’s heart started racing, hands trembling against the cool metal of the bench she was sitting on. “Hey, what’s going on, Buff?”
“I don’t- I don’t get it, Cy. Why can’t I just figure all of this out? One second I’m trying to figure out how I feel about Marty, and the next fucking Lucy Kippen waltzes in and changes goddamn everything.”
“Hey hey hey. Let’s start somewhere a little simpler. Do you have feelings for Marty?”
“...No. I don’t.”
“Okay, do you have feelings for boys at all?” Cyrus prodded carefully.
“I don’t- I don’t think so. It’s like- when I was growing up, and imagining my future, it was always with this nameless shadowy guy, because I thought it was supposed to be? But now, I just can’t see myself ever loving a guy, or being with a guy, or marrying one, or any of it.”
“I get it, Buffy. I’ve been there. Like quite literally right there. Except the opposite. Girls, not boys. Or maybe… Boys, not girls?”
“I get the point, dork,” Buffy teased, knocking her shoulder into Cyrus’s.
“Are you… Do you think that maybe you like girls?” Buffy was quiet for a moment, periodically opening and closing her mouth.
“I think that… all of this cliché coming out stuff is kind of overrated for now. I guess I’m a lesbian, or whatever… But for now… I think that maybe all I want is Lucy?”
“Lucy?” Cyrus asked, voice soft.
“Lucy.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Buffy agreed.
“I love you, Buffy. Always.”
“And forever,” she continued, smiling at the habit.
“All the way to Mercury.”
“And all the way back.”
“Until all the stars burn out,” Cyrus promised.
“Until my dying breath,” a voice from behind them finished. “Sorry I’m late to the party.”
“Andi,” Buffy breathed, tumbling around the edge of the bench she and Cyrus were sitting on to hug her.
“So you’re gay, huh?” Andi mumbled into her shoulder. “And you got into a car accident?”
“Yeah,” Buffy laughed, pulling away and grinning at her best friend. “And yes. But I’m totally okay.”
“And you like Lucy?” Andi continued, smiling.
“I- I don’t- holy shit, I can’t like Lucy. She slapped me on the first day we met! We got into a car accident together. She kissed me three times- What the hell am I doing?”
“Hey, calm down, Buffy,” Andi whispered. “I have many many questions, but you’re okay. You’re not the type to panic over anyone. Take a deep breath, and face the music. You like a girl, who no doubt likes you-”
“Why do you think that?”
“Hello? Three kisses?” Andi said.
“What kind of rule is this?!”
“A universal one.”
“Okay, ignoring that… There’s no way she likes me like that.”
“What’d she say after she kissed you?” Andi asked, crossing her arms.
“Um… she said she shouldn’t do this right now, that she’d just gotten out of a really awful relationship and apologized for that sounding like a card. She gave me her number, kissed me a second time, thanked me, started to leave, turned around, kissed me again, and I haven’t seen her since.”
“So she thanks you for a kiss, and you don’t think she likes you?” Cyrus asked.
“It’s was like an inside joke situation- holy shit. Fuck, I have to find her.” Buffy jogged toward the doors they’d come out of, frantically pulling them open and rushing through.
“What? What’s going on?” Andi asked, looking to Cyrus, who simply shrugged.
“I dunno man, she’s been like that all day,” he said, casually making his way to the door. “Lovesick lesbian mode is in full swing.”
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I decided to finally make a part two of this post, it took me half a year longer than I anticipated, but I rushed to finish it at least for June.
🏳️🌈 Happy pride month! 🏳️🌈
The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley – The best kind of subtle romance I have ever read. Includes mysterious pocket watch, solving bomb threats in Victorian London, a lady scientist, changing of future based on occurring events, an adorable clockwork octopus, and so much more! Did I mention the best, most beautiful romance I didn’t even expect to get?? Read it! (mlm main characters)
All out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by multiple authors, edited by Saundra Mitchell – This book was so refreshing to read!!! Retellings of fairy tales but queer and poc and mostly happy. I enjoyed each of the short story so so much, I don’t have words to say how much I loved this book, just, can we please have more stories like that? Thank you.
Radio Silence by Alice Oseman – Ever wanted a book with a main character boy and girl who won’t end up together by the end of the book? Then this is a book for you. Frances and Aled do not only become best friends who won’t end up together, but there’s even more diverse characters than these two main ones. This book even has an ace (demi) sexual representation, which I was very excited about, and the main character is biracial bisexual girl. There is lot of fandom talk and a radio show drama (kind of similar to Welcome to Night Vale). But also talks about other important topics like deciding that college might not be for everyone despite them being a great student in high school.
Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee – It’s a cute and sweet superhero themed futuristic story, first book of a trilogy I think. The main character is Vietnamese American bisexual girl, Jessika Tran, whose parents are both superheroes, but she doesn’t have any powers. She starts working for a company she later discovers belongs to town’s villains, but with time she learns that not everything about superheroes and villains is perfectly black and white. Also she’s working there with her crush, so that’s a bonus. It’s a really great book, there’s wlw romance and lot of diversity, action and silly scenes. The history behind the people’s superpowers and worldbuilding was really interesting too. The sequel is also already out, featuring a poc trans boy as the main character, who is part of Jessika‘s friend squad.
The Gentleman‘s guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee – A book everyone here should read!! A historical roadtrip with lot of angst, fluff and mutual pining of two of the main characters. It takes place in 18th century Europe. Monty is kind of an asshole, some moments you will hate him then you will love him, but as the journey progresses so does he. He travels with his sister, Felicity, and his best friend (and crush!) Percy, to visit few cities in Europe before he has to start work in his fathers company. This book addressed lot of issues, like white privilege and racism in that time period, sexism and ableism. But it’s also an adventurous book that’s funny and charming, and makes you feel really happy one moment and sad the next. There are also pirates!
Dreadnought by April Daniels – This is a first book of a duology about a lesbian trans girl Danny who receives superpowers after witnessing death of the superhero Dreadnought, which means she now has to become the new Dreadnought. But with the powers also becames real the ideal vision of her body, that she always wanted. She is very happy about it, but it also means she has to face her family and best friend and explain why she looks different. On top of that she has to help the other superheroes with stopping the new threat to the city, the villain who killed previous Dreadnought. Trigger warnings for transphobia, but it’s really worth to read.
Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller – I’ve seen mixed reviews of this book but personally I loved it. It’s a fantasy YA with lgbt protagonist, that I don’t have enough of. Sal is a genderfluid, also bi? pan? thief who enters a competition to become one of Queen’s Assassins. Basically the last one standing (or rather living) takes the place. Sal knows how to fight and survive but also needs to learn other things to win this position. Like taking classes of writing/reading which teaches him a lady of court they previously stole something from, whom Sal quickly starts to like more than they should, with the competition at play. For me it was a really great book to read and I can’t wait to read the sequel!
The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli – I had to read this one quickly before Leah on the offbeat came out, and it was a joy to read this one too! Again so much representation, I love Becky’s books and the Simon vs world. This story is about Molly who has had a lot of crushes but never actually dated anyone. She’s jewish, has anxiety, is fat, loves her family, is very creative, and has another crush on a guy who is her coworker. There’s so much cuteness in this book, I was smiling and crying the whole time reading it. More for representation: her sister is gay, she has two moms, a new Korean-American pansexual friend (who her sister totally likes) and more. I need to meantion trigger warnings for fatphobia, because of part there with her relative, it made me cry so much, it was very reletable and I hated it but there was very good closure for it in the end, which I’m happy about. Anyway read this book, overall it’s a cute and happy book with lots of fluff!
Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli – I loved Leah from the Simon vs book, so I was really happy we got more focus on her. She’s fat and funny, unapologetic about who she is, in her words: “basically your resident fat Slytherin Rory Gilmore”. There was mentions she likes boys as well as girls. Because of a tour for her college she goes with Abby to see where she will live the next few years and stuff happens. And then there’s also their high school prom, which she thought she was ready for, but maybe she’s not ready for at all. I’m not even going to write more, it’s an amazing book, I cried so many times.
Timekeeper by Tara Sim – This story takes place in a Victorian era Britain where clock towers are needed for time to flow correctly. Therefore there is lot of mechanics who repair said clock towers, because if the clock stops, the town around it stops in time as well. The main character Danny is one of those mechanics in London, but his father is trapped in a town that Stopped and Danny needs to find a way to save him. But after someone tries to sabotage a clock tower in a small city, Danny is assigned in that town to fix it, and he eventually finds out that the myths he heard – that in clock towers could sometimes be seen beings, spirits of the towers – might actually be true. This book was so nice to read, there was the atmosphere of the Victorian era, mystery, cute mlm romance and awesome female characters.
I’ll give you the sun by Jandy Nelson – I cried a lot reading this book. At first it actually took me few months to read past first two chapters, because the writing style was so different from what I was used to, but after that I got absorbed in it very quickly. It’s a story about two siblings, Noah and Jude Sweetwine, who both go through some difficult times, with family, school and personal stuff, it’s about making mistakes and fixing mistakes. It’s about love, art, sibling struggles and growing up.
Other books that I read and loved and definitely recommend:
Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst (f/f fantasy romance)
We are the Ants – Shaun David Hutchinson (m/m)
In Other Lands - Sarah Rees Brennan (bi mc, m/m)
Release – Patrick Ness (m/m)
Our dark duet – V.E. Schwab (sequel of duology, agender character, not much romance at all in this duology, it‘s one of my favourites)
A Conjuring of Light – V.E. Schwab (a beautiful fantasy, last book of trilogy, happy ending for m/m pairing whose each story is important throughout the whole series. Again, one of my favourite series)
Magnus Chase and the Ship of Dead - Rick Riordan (I don‘t want to spoil here but it‘s good, genderfluid representation since book two, more in this final book)
Ice crypt - Tiana Warner (sequel of the Ice Massacre, wlw romance between mermaid and human girl, who knew each other since childhood, there is third final book, Ice Kingdom, already out, but I still haven‘t read it..)
Happy reading!
(tagging few people who i think might enjoy it ♥♥: @eradne, @poefinn, @twomillionfreckles, @eliotcoldwater, @queen-max, @tsukiyam-a)
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aaaaaa baked potato supreme (1/1)
summary: Chat continued, “I came here to ask out Luka. I like him.”
“What? No, I like him.”
“Two people can like the same person, Bug.”
“Well, I liked him first!”
“I got here first.”
word count: 1539
a/n: thanks @north-star-lesbian and that anon for this lovely title
read it on ao3
Alya assumed that Marinette was staring at Adrien - as she tended to do during their lunch break - when in fact, the only boy she had eyes for that day had dyed blue hair and a leather jacket with a Ladybug patch on the sleeve. She had no idea that Luka was such a big fan of Ladybug, and maybe that meant that he liked her - a version of her, at least - just as much as she liked him. Marinette didn’t have a patrol with Chat Noir scheduled that night, so she decided right then and there that she would pay the guitarist a visit to determine his true feelings.
Little did Marinette know, Adrien got the same thought in his mind when he noticed the Chat Noir patch on Luka’s opposite sleeve.
Adrien had to wait until his father went to bed that night before he risked sneaking out, launching himself out the open window after he transformed. He started along the usual patrol route just in case he stumbled across Ladybug on his way - he couldn’t have his Lady knowing that he was seeing someone behind her back, not that they were together in the first place.
He diverted from the route after a short while, heading toward the Seine instead of drifting further into the city, grinning from ear to ear when he saw the familiar houseboat on the river. Chat leapt down from the roof he was on, landing on the ground right beside a window just as a flash of red shot into his peripheral vision.
“Chat Noir?” Ladybug asked. “What are you doing here?”
He jumped at the sound of her voice, spinning to face his partner as he stumbled over his response: “Uh, n-nothing, My Lady, I was-- What are youdoing here?”
Ladybug crossed her arms defensively. “I’m...visiting a friend.”
“In the middle of the night?” Chat asked. “Bugaboo, are you seeing someone behind my back?” He hoped not, the only person she could be there to see was Luka, unless Juleka was cheating on Rose with her.
“We’re not even together, Chat,” Ladybug said with a roll of her eyes. “And it’s not of your business who I’m seeing.”
Chat felt himself deflate. “Oh. So you’re with Luka, then.”
Ladybug sighed. “No, I’m not. But that is why I came over here.”
“What a coincidence. Same here.” At Ladybug’s look of surprise, Chat continued, “I came here to ask out Luka. I like him.”
“What? No, I like him.”
“Two people can like the same person, Bug.”
“Well, I liked him first!”
“I got here first.”
Beside them, the porthole window swung open and a yawning Luka stuck his head outside. “What’s going on out here?” He had to squint to see the shadowy figures, but once he recognized them, he froze, jaw hanging open.
“Luka!” Ladybug exclaimed, and Chat’s enhanced vision allowed him to see a blush rising underneath the edges of Ladybug’s mask.
“Uh,” Luka’s gaze flickered between the two heroes for a few moments before he finally managed to say, “Would you two like to, uh, come aboard? I’ll meet you on the deck.” Before either of them could accept his offer, he pulled the window shut. From inside, they could hear him shout, “Oh my god!”
He’s cute when he’s flustered, Chat thought, gesturing for his Lady to lead the way onto the deck of the boat.
Luka stepped out the door moments later wearing plaid pajama pants and the same leather jacket he’d been wearing at school that day. He carried a lantern out with him to illuminate a small portion of the deck - just enough that they could all see each other.
“Oh no,” Ladybug whispered, only audible to Chat because of his slightly enhanced hearing. He followed her gaze to Luka, spotting the Chat Noir patch on one sleeve, but also noticing a similar Ladybug patch on the opposite arm.
“Oh,” Chat said, loud enough to draw the attention of the other two. “Sorry, um, I think I made a mistake. Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna--” He extended his staff, preparing to lift himself off the boat.
“Wait! What are you talking about?” Luka asked.
He knew that if he explained, he would end up making a fool of himself in front of the only two people he needed to like him, but he couldn’t just run away.
“I...well. I saw that Chat Noir patch on your jacket,” he said. “I thought, maybe, that meant that you might like me? Like-- God, I’m sorry, I read this wrong, and I’ll leave now, sorry.”
“I think I should leave, too,” Ladybug said, embarrassment clear in her tone. “Sorry for waking you, Luka, we’ll leave you alone.”
“No, wait, hang on!” Luka rushed toward them, close enough that he could grab hold of them in case they tried to leave. “You were right, please don’t be embarrassed. I do like you - both of you. I wanted to tell you, but I never knew how to talk to you about it.” He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket, hunching up his shoulders as if she was trying to hide behind his collar. “You’re both so cool and nice, but you’re always surrounded by so many people - at school and when you’re out saving Paris - so I can never get close enough to talk to either of you.”
“At school…?” Ladybug repeated. “Luka, what are you talking about?”
“You know what I mean, Marinette, you’re class rep, everyone loves you! You’re everyone’s favorite person, you’ve always got a wall of people around you so I could never have a private conversation with you to tell you how I feel,” Luka explained to Ladybug, and then turned to Chat Noir. “And you! I mean, you’re Adrien Agreste, you’re--”
“What?” Ladybug screeched, and Chat was sure that if Luka’s family hadn’t already been woken up by their conversation, then they were definitely awake now. “You’re Adrien Agreste?”
“Marinette,” Chat said softly. “Of course you’re Marinette! How did I not guess that sooner?”
Luka glanced between them. “You mean you didn’t know each other’s identities?”
“No, we didn’t, we’ve never told anyone,” Ladybug said. “How did you know?”
“I thought it was kind of obvious,” Luka said with a shrug. “Adrien, I’ve never seen green eyes as pretty as yours, and even that mask can’t hide them. And Marinette, you’ve got this beautiful smile that I’d recognize anywhere.”
To hide his embarrassment, Chat released his transformation in a flash of green light, and his Lady did the same, hiding her face in her hands once the light had faded. Adrien was sure that his own face was as red as his Lady’s suit, but he couldn’t be sure.
“Is something wrong?” Luka asked cautiously. “I’m sorry, I probably should have kept that to myself, it wasn’t my information to share.”
“No, no, that’s not it,” Marinette said, though she couldn’t seem to make eye contact with either of the boys. “It’s just that...I’ve had a crush on Adrien for a really long time, and I had no idea that he was Chat all along.”
“My Lady sat in front of me during every single class, and I had no idea,” Adrien said with a disbelieving laugh.
“So, let me get this straight,” Luka started, “you both came here because you like me, and you suspected that I might also like you, and you also unknowingly liked each other this whole time.”
“I hope you’ve got a point to this and you aren’t just saying it to make fun of us,” Adrien commented.
“I do, I’m just not sure how either of you will feel about it.” Adrien and Marinette each gave him a concerned look, and Luka rocked back and forth on his feet. “So, we all like each other, that’s been established. But if one of us starts dating another of us, then somebody’s gonna get left out. The only way someone won’t get left out is if we, um, all date each other? If you’re both up for that?”
There was silence between them as Adrien and Marinette exchanged a look, though Luka appeared to take their silence as a no.
“Oh. Okay, I guess not, then. If you two just wanna be together without me, that’s fine too.” He stared down at his feet and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. “I’m just gonna go back to bed.”
“No, wait!” Adrien said. “Uh, I mean, that wasn’t a no. It’s just... I’ve never dating anyone before, let alone two people at once. How does that even work?”
Marinette stepped toward him, taking Adrien’s hand in her own as she said, “We can all figure that out together.”
Luka perked up. “You want to do it?”
“Yeah,” Marinette said with a smile. “Adrien?”
He glanced between them, from Marinette’s bright smile to Luka nervously biting his lip, before finally smiling himself. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
Luka let out a breath, grinning as he walked up to them and grabbed their hands. “Adrien, Marinette. Would you please do me the honor of going on a date with me after school on Friday?”
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Oversharing Time!!!
(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)
Ok so @frogyell tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
1. last drink: Water! off to a great start
2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic
3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”
4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will
5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after
6. dated someone twice? Big No
7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?
8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count
9. lost someone special? yea
10. been depressed? hella
11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no
fave colors
12. Black
13. Lavendar
14. Light blue
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!
16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?
17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely
18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP
19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that
20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story
23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.
24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished
25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day
26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00
27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction
28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration
30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???
32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am
33. most visited website: tungle dot hell
34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.
35. long or short hair: short
36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes
37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times
38. want any piercings? Big No
39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!
40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes
41. relationship status: im married to my laptop
42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo
43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now.
44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY
45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck
46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.
47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{
48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!
49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh
50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco.
51. trainers: h
more general
52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag
53. drinking: I got another cup of water
54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read
55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE
56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it
57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!
58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win
which is better
59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto
60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????
61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner
62. older or younger: i don’t think I care
63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case
64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship
65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: noop
67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me
68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again
69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class
70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d u p
71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?
72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god
73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao
74. cried when someone died: oui
75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood
do you believe in
76. yourself: YA BB
77. miracles: not as such
78. love at first sight: nah
79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad
80. kiss on a first date: ye!
81. angels: big no
other
82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam
83. eye colour: blue/grey
84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up
85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother
WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖
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A Simple Man
AO3
Geoff was a simple man. For as long as he could remember, he lived a modest life on his little farm, tucked far from any city or even small country town. As a child, his father drove him nearly thirty minutes a day to go to the nearest bus stop for him to go to school. The nearest town to their farm was about forty-five minutes away, and that didn’t mean much to him. He enjoyed his life away from anyone and everyone. He liked to be alone. He had his chickens, his plants, his trees, and his old house; that was all that he needed.
He didn’t like to admit it, but he needed Gavin too.
“I got you a new cellphone.” Gavin sat at the old wooden table in Geoff’s kitchen, opening the little white box before him. Gavin had lived with Geoff’s family years ago when he came to the United States on an exchange program- and never left Geoff. He lived in the nearest city now, but visited often. Geoff didn’t admit he enjoyed it.
“What do I need a new phone for? Mine works fine.” Geoff complained, pulling the old flip phone out of his pocket. He’d gotten it when Gavin had convinced him it was more worth it than a landline years ago, and he did admit getting in contact with his buyers was much easier with the thing.
“Geoff, every time we talk you break up like crazy on that thing. I can’t even text you anymore! You need something new. I got a deal when I got my new one. It’s a smartphone.” Gavin plugged the charger into the wall and plugged the new phone in, waiting for it to turn on to start getting it ready for Geoff.
“A smartphone? I don’t need the government watching my every move.” Geoff scoffed, and Gavin rolled his eyes as he took Geoff’s ancient phone and started to transfer the important numbers over for him.
“Your life will be easier. For one, you can use my Amazon Prime account, and that way I don’t have to drive an hour on a Sunday night to bring you fucking toilet paper when your truck breaks down.” Gavin smiled at the memory and so did Geoff.
“You know you enjoyed that. I made you the best dinner you’d ever eaten that night.” Geoff huffed.
“Yeah, but with my new job I can’t be doing that stuff anymore. And Michael would lose his mind.” Gavin replied, and Geoff groaned.
“Right, Michael. I don’t understand how you’re with that annoying kid. You can do so much better than him.” He took a seat opposite to Gavin and watched him work the phone like a pro, no idea what he was doing.
“You just don’t like him because he made fun of your chickens. He’s a sweetheart, you just don’t know it. He cares about me,” Gavin got a stupid smile on his face, “You’ve never dated anyone. You wouldn’t understand.”
“I have too dated!” Geoff gasped, offended, “I was quite the lady-killer in high school, Gavin.”
“Yeah, lady-killer, for other men, because you made them lesbians.” Gavin shot back, and Geoff gave him a hard glare. “And anyway, high school romance that doesn’t last, doesn’t count.”
“You’re annoying.” Geoff muttered, and Gavin gave him a killer grin and waved him closer.
“Look, I’m done. I’ve got all the numbers in. Let me show you what to do, old man.”
---
Geoff couldn’t say he hated the smartphone. It was, as Gavin had promised, very convenient. It was very simple to shoot Gavin a text, or call one of his buyers, without having to fight against what his old phone had become. He liked the options of games right there in his pocket, and he could listen to music out in the field now. Of course, it was a hassle to get used to, but he had to thank Gavin for giving him a new thing to entertain himself with. He could only watch Jeopardy so many times.
He’d honestly forgotten all about the Amazon thing by the very next day; Gavin had made him order some cleaning supplies to learn how to use the app, ‘and to clean this place up!’ It was around noon when he heard the knock at his door and was a bit shocked. Most people just came in, because anyone who knew him knew he always had his door open during the day.
He peaked his head around the corner to see who was there and was greeted by a tall man with a handsome smile. He straightened himself up quickly and made his way to the front door.
“Hi there. I’ve got your Amazon order here.” The man held up the package and Geoff caught a glimpse of his name tag: Ryan.
“Cool. Uh, thanks.” Geoff opened the door up and Ryan shoved a small electronic device into his hands.
“I just need you to sign here.” Ryan pointed, and Geoff nervously used his finger to slide a very sloppy signature on it. Ryan took it back when he was done and handed Geoff the box.
“Thanks?” Geoff said again, feeling beyond awkward. New human interaction was almost a foreign concept to him at this point.
“Not a problem. You sure live far out, you know? I’m the regular guy for Yukon, but I didn’t even know anyone lived out this way. When I got this address, I was shocked. I had to ask in town to make sure I wasn’t being pranked.” Ryan laughed, looking around the vast amount of open land that was Geoff’s property.
“Uh, yeah… I’m a farmer, so… I need the space.” Geoff replied, trying very hard to just be normal. It really didn’t help that he found Ryan very attractive. It’d been a long time since he’d seen anyone he’d consider fucking, but if Ryan shoved his way inside right now, Geoff wouldn’t complain.
Jesus, Geoff. What are you thinking. He couldn’t imagine the last time he’d had a thought like that. Maybe when he got drunk after his father’s passing and fucked some random stranger at that bar. Good memory.
Ryan gave him a warm smile though and said his goodbyes then, leaving the front porch and walking back to his delivery truck. Geoff stared after him, watching his ass in the relatively tight pants he was wearing. This feeling was one he hadn’t felt in such a long time and he quickly closed the front door and sat down, staring at the package in front of him.
The image of Ryan’s buff arms was plastered in his head. How the hell was a regular old delivery driver so ripped, while Geoff, a hardworking farmer, had the most regular arms a guy could have? And his hair. It was so wavy, yet so styled at the same time. Like waves a wheat in the summer sun. Plus, those god damn eyes, sea blue, so deep Geoff could fall right into them.
He could practically feel Ryan shoving him back against the wall and running a hand up his side, under his shirt, sparking every bit of untouched skin with what it really, really needed after far too long…
---
“You met this guy exactly one time and had, what, a half a minute conversation with him, and jerked off over it? You really are ill.” Gavin commented over the phone, and Geoff gave the bathroom mirror a stink eye.
“I was asking you seriously.” Geoff said through a mouthful of toothpaste, spitting afterwards and listening to Gavin ‘hmm’ in contemplation on the other side of the phone.
“You’re not ill. You’re just desperate. Why not call up one of your old fuck buddies?” Gavin suggested, and Geoff cringed at the idea.
“You know I’m not into that anymore. That was just a phase. Gavin, this was… was more than how I felt around those guys. I felt, like, some sort of spark with this guy. It was so weird.” Geoff turned off his bathroom light and stalked to his bedroom, flopping back on the bed as he spoke.
“Just order again. He’s the only delivery guy in Yukon, as far as I know. Which means he’s the only guy who delivers to your shack. You’ve got the app. Just order something you want, he’ll bring it, and just try not to act so pathetic this time.” Gavin suggested, and Geoff… actually found that to be a good idea, despite the insult.
“You know what? You’re right. I think I’ll do that. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Gavin.” Geoff hung up before Gavin could get another word out and quickly pulled open the Amazon app. He dug through it, looking for anything that he wanted or needed, and after picking out a few items, placed his order.
He plugged his phone in on his nightstand and curled up in bed, already anxious for the next day. He wouldn’t mess this up. Ryan was going to come, and Geoff was going to… get his phone number, at least. He was determined. He didn’t know how much sleep he’d get that night with the fear of what the next day would bring.
---
The knock at his front door the next day startled him yet again. It was later this time around, the sun almost setting over the horizon. Geoff was curled up in his reading nook, some old romance classic in his hands. He didn’t even hear the truck pull up, he was so absorbed. He placed the book down and stood himself up, gripping his fists and shoving his phone in his pocket. This was it.
He walked to the door and pulled it open, finding Ryan there with that same customer service smile. He had the box under his one arm and waved at Geoff.
“Back again. I guess you really like Amazon, huh?” Ryan laughed, and Geoff’s heart skipped a beat at how sweet it was. He gave a small chuckle himself.
“Yeah, it’s convenient, you know?” He got out, holding his hand out for the signature device. Ryan’s smile tweaked up into a bit of a smirk then and he grabbed Geoff’s outstretched hand and pulled him close suddenly, pressing his lips against Geoff’s and sending all kind of sparks through his body.
Geoff was in pure shock for a solid thirty seconds, limp against Ryan’s lips, but then he threw himself back at the other man, pressing into the kiss and grasping at Ryan’s shirt in desperation for more of him.
“Please, I know why you ordered this.” Ryan whispered against his lips, a devious smirk now on his face, “I saw you watching me leave yesterday. I saw the way you looked at me. You’re my last delivery, Geoff. Invite me in.”
Geoff’s breathing was pitched, and he nodded his head and stepped back, pulling Ryan inside with him. He was shaking with desire as Ryan closed the front door behind them and kicked his boots off before reaching and undoing each of the buttons on his shirt, revealing his muscular form below. Geoff practically swooned and took a step closer to Ryan to touch his chest.
“Holy fuck. You’re so hot.” Geoff laughed, feeling like a literal teenager for saying such a thing. Ryan smiled at him and picked his chin up to kiss him again, and Geoff opened his mouth to let Ryan’s tongue in. Ryan shoved him back into the wall and ran his hand under Geoff’s shirt, catching the ends with his thumbs and pulling the shirt up and over his head in one motion. Their kiss broke for a few seconds as the shirt was yanked off, but Ryan barely gave Geoff one breath before attacking his mouth again.
Geoff threw his arms around the back of Ryan’s neck and let the stronger man pick him up, their hips pressing together as Geoff’s legs wrapped around Ryan’s waist and they got closer. Their bare skin pressed together and Geoff groaned at the feeling, twisting his hands into Ryan’s perfect hair and kissing him with as much force as he could.
“Ryan, the bedroom is upstairs.” He finally pulled away from the kiss to say, and Ryan let out a chuckle in response before pushing Geoff harder into the wall behind them.
“I don’t need a bed to fuck you, Geoff. I could fuck you right here, against this wall. Or in that cute little reading area of yours over there. Maybe you’d like it over the kitchen table, so every time you ate there you’d remember me taking you.” Ryan purred, taking his kissing skills and moving his lips slowly down Geoff’s neck.
Pure arousal flowed through Geoff at those words and he felt his pants get much tighter as Ryan worked his way around his neck. He could hardly keep himself from shivering at the thought of what was about to come, of what he and Ryan were about to do.
“The kitchen.” He whispered, and Ryan stopped kissing his skin and looked up at him slowly.
“What was that?” Ryan’s lips turned up in that little smirk and Geoff swallowed hard, staring back into his eyes.
“Take me in the kitchen. On the table.” Geoff repeated, and Ryan opened his mouth to respond but all Geoff heard was the roar of an engine in the place of him speaking.
Confusion rippled through Geoff and he opened his eyes to find himself still there in his reading nook, the romance novel on his chest. The sun was glaring right onto his eyes and he sat up and went to close the blind, only to find himself watching as the delivery truck pulled out of his driveway and away from his house.
A dream.
He let out a roar of anger and looked down at his pants in embarrassment, a very noticeable stain on his crotch. How the hell did he let himself sleep through Ryan coming? He had an erotic sex dream, that’s how he did.
You god damn moron. Fucking idiot. Sex addicted loser.
He made his way to the front door and yanked it open to find his package sat on the porch, the ‘sorry we missed you!’ note resting on top of it. With a groan he reached down and picked the whole thing up, tossing it inside and slamming the door behind him. Just his luck. Now if he ordered something, Ryan was going to think he was some sort of absolute moron who couldn’t order all that he needed in one sitting.
He dumped the box on his kitchen table, grumbling at the memory of his dream, and took the sorry card off, going to toss it in the trash. Just as he went to drop it he noticed a writing on the empty back and flipped it over, a deep blush filtering across his face.
‘Sorry I missed you. You must be out working hard. If you want to talk to me, you can just use my own number, instead of ordering junk. Who needs four packs of socks, a gray t-shirt, and the first three seasons of Friends on DVD? Unless you really did need all of that, and I’m just being an ass. Either way, call me. I think you’re cute. -Ryan’
Ryan’s cellphone number was scribbled under his little note with a tiny smiling face next to it. Geoff stared at the number in awe and then smiled so big, digging for his cellphone to call right away. He paused as he typed the number in though, immediate fear rushing over him.
Should he call right away? Ryan assumed he was out doing work, even though he’d got it done long ago. He’d have to explain the reason he didn’t open the door was because he was six-layers deep into an erotic dream about Ryan. Now that would be something truly mortifying. Plus, if he called now he’d seem desperate. He did not want to come off desperate to such a handsome guy that he stood no chance getting with.
He called me cute, though.
He looked at the final line that Ryan wrote and chewed his lip nervously. The more absurd thoughts started to creep into his mind then. What if Ryan was some serial killer, that preyed on pathetic, lonely farmers in middle of nowhere towns? What if Gavin had just set him up with some guy because he was pathetic and desperate. What if this was all just some prank?
He crumpled up the card a bit in his hands at that thought. This isn’t high school anymore, Geoff. Adults don’t do that. He tried to reassure himself, but the night he got purposefully stood up by his crush in high school still haunted him to this day. He was an idiot for ever thinking that the kid he asked out would ever truly like him, and he paid for it the rest of his high school career. For the rest of his life. Trust was something he’d long since thrown out the window.
Ryan couldn’t be like that though. They were adults. Well adults. With jobs and payments and bills. Stupid petty drama was in high school. He was long free of that. His hands relaxed on the card and he finished typing the number in… and saved it. He’d wait a bit, at least, to not make it weird. Shower, get all these thoughts out of his head. Regain some sort of composure. Ryan was probably still at work anyway.
He let out a small sigh and placed both his phone and the card down on the table before heading up to the shower.
---
“How’d you even miss him in the first place? Was Jeopardy on a bit too loud?” Gavin teased; Geoff had decided to give him a call first, before he threw himself blind into the call with Ryan.
“No, I’d fallen asleep reading.” Geoff sighed, glaring at the romance novel where it sat. Curse the thing for throwing him into this.
“Wow, you’re so fucking old.” Michael said then; Gavin had them on speaker phone, as the two of them were doing dishes at their apartment.
“People fall asleep reading all the time, you prick.” Geoff said, letting out a huff of air. Michael laughed and he even heard Gavin let out a bit of a chuckle.
“If you’re so nervous to call him, just send him a text. People text before dating all the time. Me and Michael met on Tinder, you know?” Gavin said.
“Tinder is a dating up.” Michael clarified, and as much as Geoff hated him for it, he was glad he did. He had no idea what a Tinder was, “Gavin’s right. Texting is a lot easier than some awkward phone conversation. Just shoot him a ‘hey’ text and get to know him.”
“I guess you’re right.” Geoff muttered, rubbing his chin in contemplation. A text would be a lot easier than calling Ryan. He didn’t want to wait much longer, so he said his goodbyes to Michael and Gavin and hung up.
The flashing line of the blank text message stared back at him. What should he say to start this off? Michael said ‘hey,’ but that didn’t feel like enough. He wrote and deleted text after text as he tried to figure out just what to send. Each one felt worse than the last and he felt like he was digging his grave deeper and deeper with every passing minute.
He finally settled and sent,
‘Hey Ryan! It’s Geoff Ramsey, the farmer. I got your note. Sorry I couldn’t get to the door today, I was out back with my chickens. I’d call but it’s a little late, and I’m not sure if you’re at work. Thank you for the compliment, by the way. I think you’re pretty handsome yourself. Maybe we should go on a date sometime?’
He forced himself to click send and then tossed his phone away from him and sat biting on his knuckle. He shouldn’t have said the date part, or the handsome part, and he outright lied about being with his chickens. Would Ryan think that was weirder than being asleep? Not weirder than being asleep in the middle of a fucking sex dream, surely. Of course, he never would have told Ryan that. But he felt bad about lying. Would Ryan know? He was always such a bad liar-
His phone’s notification charm yanked him from his words and he dove for his phone faster than he’d ever moved in his life. Ryan had replied.
‘Hey Geoff. I figured you were doing your farm stuff. So I was right, then? I thought I saw you checking out my ass yesterday. I’d love to go on a date with you. In fact, I don’t work tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at six.’
Geoff couldn’t believe this. Was this how dates work? Ryan saw him check his ass out and now he was going to take him on a date? Tomorrow? He didn’t even have any sort of fancy clothes to wear on a date! He couldn’t remember the last time he went on a real date, one that just wasn’t a disguise to fuck in a bathroom. Michael and Gavin had led him to believe he and Ryan were going to exchange messages for a least awhile, and yet here he was, his fingers moving without his consent, saying yes.
‘I’d love that. I’ll see you tomorrow at six. I look forward to it, and seeing your ass out of that delivery uniform.’
What. The. Fuck. Was. That.
He dropped his phone down and stared at the text he’d just sent to Ryan, a guy he barely knew, about his ass. Sure, in his sex dream that would be normal, but this was real fucking life! What made him send such a risqué fucking thing to this man?
Desperation, obviously, you absolute moron.
He slumped to his knees and laid his head on the ground; already sure Ryan was about to call the date off. When his phone went off a few seconds later he lifted his eyes up slowly, sure of the rejection-
‘You’re funny. I’ll see you tomorrow in my best jeans, Geoff.’
Ryan threw in the winking emoji at the end of his text and Geoff let out a tiny laugh. Okay, alright, so maybe he didn’t make such a huge mistake. Maybe… he and Ryan shared the same sense of humor. That would be quite the breath of fresh air, someone he could actually joke with, without offending or turning them off. He picked his phone up and stared at Ryan’s reply before smiling and slipping his phone in his back pocket. He had a date to prepare for.
---
Geoff watched in almost shock the next day as an old, beat up truck, much like his own, pulled into his driveway. He was peeking out the curtains of the front room, trying not to be seen as Ryan got out of his truck. He watched as Ryan shut the front door of the truck and glanced at himself in the rearview mirror. It was kind of a relief to him that Ryan seemed nervous about this as well.
He pulled away from watching Ryan and checked himself once again in the little mirror nearby. He’d found an old black dress shirt tucked away in his closet, his least dirty pair of jeans, and a nice pair of shoes that Gavin had gotten him for his birthday a few years back that he’d never even taken out of the box up to this point. He looked no where as good as Ryan did in the slick gray button up, tight skinny jeans and well-polished dress shoes, but it was at least a start. He tried to do something with his hair one last time, but Ryan’s knock gave him no chance.
He made his way to the door and took a deep breath in before opening it up. Ryan stood, a flower he clearly snagged from the row along Geoff’s driveway extended and a genuine smile on his face as he said, “Hi there. I’ve got your Amazon order.”
Geoff couldn’t help but laugh at the very stupid joke as he took the flower from Ryan and placed it in his dress pocket. He stepped out and closed the door behind him.
“I’ve been waiting all day for it. You’re at least on time.” Geoff smiled at him and Ryan returned it before offering his hand out.
“You ready for our date? Do you want to follow me, so you can check out the ass? I mean, that’s what you really ordered, right?” Ryan asked, and Geoff felt his cheeks flush with pure embarrassment. Ryan laughed and held out his hands in a gesture of surrender.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You look so mad.” Ryan continued to laugh and took Geoff’s hand then, “The date is going to make up for it, I promise. Do you like picnics?”
Geoff was a bit surprised at that. A picnic? He’d never been on one. Sure, he and his parents had eaten on the back dead, or he and his father in the fields, but never had he had a for real, genuine picnic. He was very intrigued at the idea.
“I’ve never been on one.” He replied, and Ryan gave him a shocked look.
“You’ve never- well, then, Geoff Ramsey, I’m going to give you the best first picnic you’ll ever have.” Ryan said, and took Geoff to his truck. He opened the passenger door to let Geoff in, and then got in himself.
“I’m trusting you with a lot here, Ryan.” Geoff smiled at him from across the seat, and Ryan shot him a big smile. Geoff blushed hard at the work of art sitting next to him and glances out the window as they started to drive. Ryan seemed to know the back roads as well as Geoff did, which was surprising.
“You know this area?” He asked, turning back to Ryan with a tilted head. Ryan gave him a tiny smile.
“Uh, yeah. I was raised not too far from here. I was homeschooled though, that’s probably why you don’t know me. I moved into Yukon after my schooling was done and picked up the delivery job to pay for school. I’d like to work with computers.” Ryan gave a lot of information, but Geoff liked it. It made him seem like much more than just the hot delivery driver Geoff had wild sex dreams about.
“I’ve always been on the farm. I mean, I went to school in Yukon, but that’s because my parents were just farmers too. When they passed I took the farm on myself. It’s just me and my chickens now.” Geoff replied, feeling like he had to tell at least something about himself. There wasn’t much, he wasn’t a very interesting person.
He looked at Ryan again and found him smiling and looking quite interested in what Geoff was saying. Geoff was honestly shocked at the look; he couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked so interested in him. It was such a weird feeling he was sitting on.
Ryan pulled over along the side of the road suddenly- Geoff glanced out the window and smiled as he realized where they were at. Not too far down the road from his house was a big hill that overlooked all of Yukon and where you could see all of the sun as it set. He and his mother used to watch the sun set together when he would have a bad day. The fact that Ryan brought him here, off all places, made Geoff’s heart swell.
“Is this good?” Ryan asked, and Geoff turned to him with a beaming smile on his face.
“It’s perfect. You’re doing well so far, this picnic seems wonderful.” Geoff hopped out of the truck and Ryan quickly followed after grabbing a basket and a blanket out of the back seat of his truck. Geoff made his way to the top of the hill before Ryan and stood looking over the view of the tiny town and the setting sun.
Ryan got to the top and laid the blanket out for them and started to unpack his basket.
“Just so you know, I’m no master chef. I’ve done what I’ve can to make a gourmet meal for you though.” Ryan said, and Geoff turned to him and sat down on the blanket, taking the bottle of champagne Ryan had taken out and opening it up. He felt so much more comfortable after their small conversation and the wonderful view.
Ryan laughed as he popped the champagne and handed him a plate of food to pick at. They shared a comfortable silence together as they watched the sunset. Geoff moved and rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder after a while, something about him still craving touch from Ryan.
Ryan shifted then and picked Geoff’s chip up, looking down at him with almost adoring eyes. “The moment I saw you, I knew that I had to have you. You were so stupid beautiful. You were so awkward, but it was in the cutest way possible. Something about you made me… feel so new. I hoped you would order again, and when I didn’t see you that next day my heart broke. I had to leave that note, I had to give myself a chance at snagging a date with you.”
Ryan’s words were so genuine and sweet, Geoff didn’t know what to think. He was such a boring, simple person, and yet Ryan saw him as something so much more than he was. He almost felt like he was cheating Ryan.
Before he could speak, Ryan kissed him. He pressed their lips together in a way that reminded Geoff of his dream, yet so much better. It was the best rush of feeling Geoff had had in the longest time. They pulled apart after a second and Geoff finally spoke.
“Is this a dream?” He asked, and Ryan let out a small chuckle and pulled Geoff into his arms.
“Not a dream. I want to go on a million dates with you, Geoff. And meet your oh so important chickens. And know everything about you and your life.” Ryan rested his head in Geoff’s hair and took in a breath of him. Geoff let out the most content noise and let himself relax against Ryan.
---
“Did Geoff tell you about the time he jacked off to you? The first time you two met?”
They were on a double date. One that Geoff really didn’t want to be on, because it included Michael. He and Ryan had been together for a month; Ryan still made all of Geoff’s deliveries, and they got together as often as possible. It was everything Geoff had dreamed of; his simple life just a little more exciting.
Ryan choked on his drink. He let out a short laugh and looked at Geoff with wide eyes, expecting some explanation or rebuttal to the statement.
“He’s not lying. You are attractive babe, you know how a fawn over you. I wanted you from day one. Maybe different from the way you wanted me, but I wanted you.” Geoff shrugged, and Ryan’s laugh was a little happier the second time around.
Ryan reached his hand over and threaded it into Geoff’s then, smiling at him with loving eyes. Geoff was truly happy for the first time in a very long time. He was a simple man. He had his chickens, his plants, his trees, his old house, Ryan, Gavin, and even Michael. That was all that he needed.
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Day 6 - 3/4/18
I am finally at my parents’ house for Spring Break, which means I’ve been able to do some serious thinking. A Google search on the topic finally, FINALLY found me some authentic, Scripture-based looks into the subject of transgender people and faith (can you tell I’m Lutheran yet?).
What follows the cut is my own interpretation of these verses. PLEASE feel free to debate these interpretations with me if you so desire. Christians are not meant to walk alone.
First, the problem that began this entire debate in the first place: transgender people are not mentioned in the bible. Whatsoever. The gays and the lesbians get to revel in the first part of Romans that condemns their sinful, sinful sex (hell, that’s the only part of Romans many Christians actually care to remember). The only mention that would be even close to our understanding of transgender people relates to eunuchs.
I attempted to look up a definition for those who have not heard the term. According to gotquestions.org, “ The eunuchs of the Bible were usually castrated males or those incapable of reproduction due to a birth defect. A eunuch could also be someone who performed work typical of eunuchs, although he remained perfectly capable of having sex—i.e., “eunuch” in some cases was simply a title. The purpose of intentional castration was to induce impotence and remove sexuality. It was a common practice in ancient times for rulers to castrate some of their servants and/or advisers in order to subdue and pacify them. It was especially common to castrate men who tended the royal harem.” The latter context can be seen in Esther 4:4 - “When Esther’s eunuchs and female attendants came and told her about Mordecai, she was in great distress. She sent clothes for him to put on instead of his sack-cloth, but he would not accept them.”
This kind of castration was often done as a young age, meaning biological gender would probably be severely stunted, if not outright prevented (don’t quote me on that, biologists in the room).
This understanding is important for the verses I am going to highlight, because highlighting these people’s appearances in the Bible is the closest anyone is going to get in regards to transgender people in the Bible. The vocabulary simply wasn’t there yet. As Christians are based primarily on the Good News of the New Testament with a history from the Old, I chose to place the majority of today’s focus on the New, since that is more immediately relevant to most Christians.
For starters, let’s go to Matthew 19.The chapter starts with the religious authorities, as they loved to do, trying to trip up Jesus. In verse 3, they ask, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
For his part, Jesus’s response to the question is relatively clear, despite many conveniently sweeping this rejection of divorce under the table (if you want to debate the destruction of family values, start there). however, he attaches a few points to this condemnation of divorce I never noticed until this very afternoon.
After he says those things about marriage, people start complaining, as they tend to do. Verse 10: “The disciples said to him, ‘If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
What follows blew me away. Verses 11 and 12:
“Jesus replied, ‘Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others -- and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
Jesus seems to make an important distinction here between those who were born that way and those who CHOSE TO BE THIS WAY. Now, I know common language frowns upon “choosing to be transgender,” but the distinction is important enough I am going to ignore that for the sake of this argument (forgive me, Tumblr anons). While this passage seems to refer to marriage specifically, it DOES seem to validate transgender people as whole persons worthy of God’s love. Whether they can marry within the church or not is irrelevant; they are still within God’s plan, no matter how they became eunuchs. If you take the birth defect route, then God’s Word already tells us we are made in HIS image. Therefore, God created these people knowing they would be eunuchs and said “It is good.” Accordign to Matthew’s account, Jesus seems to look at the other two, willing versions of eunuchs and also said “It is good.” This is a rather liberal approach to this verse, but whether they can marry or not is unimportant. Jesus himself says these people exist and others should simply accept it.
The second reading is the one that shattered everything: Acts 8:26-40.
In it, Phillip is visiting Jerusalem in preparation for the yearly Passover celebrations. An angel tells Phillip to to the edge of the city. There he meets “an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of the Kandake.”
Right off the bat, I should highlight the obvious. After describing the person’s nationality, Luke, the author, goes right into the person being a eunuch. According to the author, this is the second-most important thing we should know about this person.
The person is basically trying to read the Old Testament at the edge of the city. They want to participate in Passover, but since they are not allowed into the city, they decided to get as close as possible and hope for the best.
Verses 30-31: “Then Phillip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Phillip asked. “How can I?” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Phillip to come up and sit with him.”
Verses 36-38: “As they traveled along the road, they came to some water, and and the eunuch said,”Look, here is water. What can stand in the way of my being baptized?” Phillip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” The eunuch answered, “I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God.” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Phillip and the eunuch went into the water, and Phillip baptized him.”
It’s something I knew in my head but not my heart: nothing separates me from my faith. Nothing. No force on Earth can block me from my God, if I only believe it to be true. For a eunuch to be accepted in the same way, like any other believer, is pretty telling to me. After all, this is the same Gospel writer who had the proclamation of Jesus’s birth go to random shepherds in the nearby hills. Anyone and everyone can receive God.
This is not the end, of course. To accept I am trans will also mean to accept I am a lesbian, which will carry its own host of difficulties.
But at the end of the day, I can say this with confidence: If I am a man, I am loved by the God who died for me. If I am a trans woman, I am loved by the God who died for me. I have some more thinking and accepting to do, but this I know to be true.
You know what?
I’ll take it.
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Hey, you probably already addressed it but i have no idea where to find it so I'll ask again. How come Santana's grandma doesn't recognize Brittany in season 6? They spent so much time together and maybe even in Alma's house.. Santana's mentions Brittany when she comes out so even if Alma has never seen Brittany which is so unlikely she knows her
Hey!
So the real answer here is “Because Glee wouldn’t know continuity if it bit them in the ass.”
It’s just straight up a mistake on their parts—and one that highlights some of the biggest flaws in the Glee writing process overall.
More jabbering after the cut.
WARNING: Here be criticism and saltiness about Glee’s writing. And lots of it.
_____
On well-written shows, they have what is called a “show bible” that helps them to keep track of past plot points and character details, including logistics like how old any given main character is, where they’re from, what their backstory is, etc.
In the rare event that a character is, like Santana, a minor character who suddenly gets elevated to main character status, then the “bible” is updated to include their information once they’re promoted.
When considering plot points involving the character, the writers consult the “bible” so as to avoid continuity errors.
But that’s not how Glee rolled.
As far as I’m aware, Glee did not have any sort of show bible, and neither did they have anyone on staff whose job it was to keep track of continuity. They basically made up most of their characters’ backstories as they went along—and nowhere is this bad practice more apparent than when it comes to how they bungled the formation of Santana’s family (see here).
On the typical show, a character’s family would be described in the “bible” long before any actors were cast to put those family members on screen. On Glee, they hired the actors first and then tried to fill in details around them—only, in so doing, they forgot that they had already given us SOME details about Santana’s family background in prior episodes, and the fact that they forgot led to blatant contradictions, egregious complications, and just plain embarrassing plot holes in the canon.
For example, in episode 3x07, they listed Alma’s last name as Lopez, implying that she was Santana’s paternal grandmother. However, they later implied—and allowed Ivonne Coll to say in extracanonical promotional materials—that in fact Alma was Maribel’s mother, making her Santana’s maternal grandmother.
This slip raised questions about Santana’s family history.
Did Santana have her mother’s last name and not her father’s? Or was Lopez both her father’s name and her mother’s maiden name?
Later dialogue from episode 6x06 seems to suggest the latter option, as Alma states that not only was her first husband’s surname Lopez, but her second husband’s surname was Lopez, as well, as was (most likely) her maiden name, showing that Glee seems to believe that all Latinx persons who aren’t played by Ricky Martin have the same surname, and that surname is Lopez.
Fuck this racist show.
Glee’s carelessness with Santana’s family canon also raised questions about whether or not the grandmother Santana refers to in episode 3x06, who was apparently verbally and emotionally abusive to her when she was a child, is the same grandmother—Alma—whom we meet in episode 3x07.
If so, then how do we account for the fact that in episode 6x06, Santana tells us that Alma doted on her when she was a kid? While Alma seems strict and no-nonsense, it nevertheless wouldn’t have been in her character to call her beloved six year-old granddaughter “garbage face” (at least in a serioulsy mean-spirited way).
Glee’s slapdash approach to fleshing out Santana’s character also made it hard to tell how Brittany figured into Santana’s family life. Did Alma know Brittany or not? How much time had Brittany spent with the Lopezes over the years?
Whether one is in the “Brittana became friends as children” or “Brittana became friends as teens” camp, the fact is that Alma not knowing who Brittany is in S6 makes no damn sense either way.
Do the Glee writers honestly want us to believe that Brittany was never over at Santana’s house at a time when Alma was visiting, even though we know that both Brittany and Alma are frequent visitors to the Lopez home? Do they seriously think that Alma never attended any of Santana’s cheerleading competitions, where she almost certainly would have met Brittany?
Even if they do want us to believe that, for whatever reason, Alma has never physically been in Brittany’s presence prior to the events of episode 6x06, it still strains credulity to suppose that Alma has never seen photos with Brittany in them. By Santana’s report, the lady has a Facebook, and, before she disowned Santana, they were undoubtedly Facebook friends. She had to have seen pictures of Santana and Brittany together—as part of Cheerios and glee club and just hanging out as “best friends.”
I mean, there’s no way that Brittany Pierce’s likeness hasn’t been all over Santana’s walls, both in real life and on the internet, since at least Santana’s freshman year of high school, if not longer, if indeed Brittana have been friends since childhood, fuck you very much, RIB.
Plus, like you say, Santana name-drops Brittany when she comes out to Alma in episode 3x07, so even if Alma doesn’t recognize Brittany by looks in episode 6x06, the name should still be setting off little alarm bells in her head. Brittany is the girl who “took her little nieta away from her.” That name should be branded into her mind.
Even if she simply plays off the “coincidence”—because, after all, a lot of girls are named Brittany—you would think that she’d still react to the name at least on some level. I mean, unless she has completely psychologically blocked everything having to do with Santana’s lesbianism, you might expect her to maybe wince when Brittany introduces herself or to look away or something.
So.
All of this rambling is to say that, yes, it is a mistake for Alma not to know Brittany when Brittany shows up on her doorstep in episode 6x06. In all likelihood, she should have met Brittany at some point before or at least seen her in pictures or recognized her name. The Glee writers either just plain didn’t think these issues through, or they did think them through but decided to move forward with the plot they wanted to use anyway.
I mean, the idea of Brittany showing up to Alma’s house dressed as a candy striper and trolling the fuck out of her all for the purpose of perhaps reconciling her and Santana in time for the wedding is pure comedy gold, and I’m sure that once it entered the writers’ collective hive mind, they really wanted to use it, and they weren’t going to allow silly little things like canonicity and common sense to stop them from doing so.
—and because they weren’t, that leaves us, as fans who do care about continuity, to try to make sense of their mistake.
To that end, here are some possible scenarios that could maybe—possibly—account for why Alma fails to recognize Brittany:
Maybe we could believe that Alma did not move to Ohio until just prior to the events of episode 3x07. Maybe it was only once she started having health problems that Santana’s parents wanted her closer to them. Santana talks about spending time with Alma when she was little, yes, but that could have been on occasional visits as opposed to on a more regular basis. It also could imply that maybe Santana didn’t always live in Ohio, either. She may have moved at some point during childhood or adolescence, perhaps once her doctor father finished his residency. In any case, if Alma didn’t move to Ohio until Santana was a teenager, then maybe Alma has only seen Brittany in photos prior to the events of episode 6x06—and maybe whatever photos she has seen Brittany in have also included Quinn and a handful of other blonde cheerleaders, who all bleed together in her mind. After all, it would be Santana’s face she was searching out in those photos anyway, and even in pictures from, say, the ninth grade Sadie Hawkins dance, where Santana and Puck double-dated with Brittany and Mike, Alma, with all her heteronormative biases, would pay attention to Santana’s male date, with his arm around her shoulder, not her female best friend, hanging at her side. In a scenario like this one, we could perhaps imagine that Alma feels a flicker of recognition when home health aid Brittany shows up on her doorstep, but she doesn’t put two and two together enough to say, “¡Claro que sí! This is the same Brittany who is Santana’s best friend (and now girlfriend). I’ve seen her before.”
Since I’m clinging to my “Brittana were childhood best friends, and the Glee writers can step to me if they want to make something of it” headcanon, I can also imagine a scenario where Alma lived in Lima (and perhaps even in Lima Heights Adjacent) when Santana was little and knew Brittany as a child, but then she moved elsewhere, meaning that she hasn’t seen Brittany in several years by the time episode 6x06 takes place. (Remember: In episode 6x06, Brittany and Alma take three bus rides to get from Alma’s house to Brittany’s to film Queso por Dos, suggesting that Alma may live very far away from Lima and perhaps even across state lines.) In this scenario, we can imagine that the all-grown-up Brittany Alma opens the door to no longer resembles the freckle-faced little girl Brittany Alma knew back in the day, so, again, Alma doesn’t really put things together. Of course, Brittany does have very distinctive speech patterns, so even if Alma doesn’t recognize her face, one might still expect her to recognize her voice and way of speaking, even after many years. That being the case, in order to make this scenario work, we also have to imagine some willful ignorance on Alma’s part—as in Brittany shows up, and alarm bells start ringing in her head, and she reacts by going, “No, no, no! It’s not. It couldn’t be. This isn’t the girl who stole my granddaughter away from me and is dragging her down to hell. I have never seen her before in my life. I cannot accept that this is the same person,” and her subconscious basically blocks out the possibility that she has ever met Brittany before.
Of course, if we really want to give our imaginations a work out, we could perhaps imagine that even if Alma has always lived in Lima and that she played a regular role in Santana’s life from birth to age sixteen, she somehow, through a series of complete coincidences, has missed out on ever seeing Brittany either in person or in photographs. I guess we could believe that every time Alma attends one of Santana’s cheerleading competitions, Brittany just happens to be out with a sprained ankle. Maybe all of the photos Maribel has ever posted on Facebook with Brittany in them have for some reason been blurry. Perhaps the week that Alma stays with Santana while her parents take that cruise to Jamaica is also by some turn of fate the week that Brittany’s family drives to Arizona to visit her aunts and uncles. Theoretically, it is possible that Brittany always completely coincidentally manages to leave the Lopez residence about ten minutes before Alma shows up there for family dinners. It is likewise possible that Alma has never been able to make it to any of Santana’s birthday parties or glee club performances, or that, even when she does attend them, Brittany is always somehow detained—off talking to another party guest or her own parents or Mr. Schue. We can, I suppose, imagine a Gleeverse full of near misses and missed connections, wherein Alma hears about her granddaughter’s best friend but never lays eyes on the girl. In that case, it would be understandable for her not to recognize Brittany in episode 6x06. As stated above, Brittany is a common enough name. It would be conceivable that Alma might not leap to the conclusion that her new home health aid is also her granddaughter’s fiancée, same name notwithstanding.
As a twist on the idea above, if we want to go for angst, we could perhaps imagine that, prior to episode 3x07, Santana works hard to keep Alma and Brittany from ever coming into contact with each other. I mean, we know that prior to her outing, one of Santana’s biggest fears is that if her family learns she is gay, they will reject her. Perhaps subconsciously, she dreads the possibility of her grandmother meeting the girl she loves, because, even if she introduces Brittany to Alma as “just” her best friend, Alma could still somehow discern the truth and know what is going on between them. Santana has so many tells around Brittany, and Alma knows Santana so well. It would be hard not to accidentally slip and do or say something which revealed the true nature of her feelings. The risk factor would be too great, so maybe Santana would choose to play things safe and just keep Alma and Brittany apart—and especially considering that even if Alma didn’t figure out Santana’s secret, there would still be the possibility that she might not even like Brittany. For as socially savvy as Santana is, she knows: Alma is no nonsense, and Brittany is whimsical, and that could mean that they’ll clash.While she would like to believe that they’d get along, she worries about what will happen if they don’t, because they’re the two people she loves most in the world, and if she has to choose between them, she doesn’t know what she’ll do. Maybe for that reason, Santana always steers Alma clear from Brittany at Cheerios and glee club events and makes sure that they are never at her house at the same time. Maybe she doesn’t even mention Brittany by name to Alma prior to episode 3x07 because she doesn’t want to jinx things. Again, this scenario would require some mental gymnastics on our part, but we could maybe make it work.
In any case, the bottom line is this:
Glee screwed up when it comes to Alma and Brittany. There’s really no 100% solid explanation for why they don’t know each other prior to episode 6x06. No matter how you slice things—whether you think Brittana have been friends with each other forever or for just six or seven years by the time S6 takes place—it strains credulity to think that Santana’s beloved grandmother and Santana’s beloved soulmate never encounter each other either in person or in likeness during all that time.
That being the case, the “Brittany shows up at Santana’s abuela’s house and tricks her into coming to WMHS to listen to Santana sing” storyline is one for which you have to suspend your disbelief in a big way if you want to follow along with it.
As always, this show is full of plot holes, and the only way to fix them is with fanfiction, where the writers are much better at keeping track of continuity than RIB and Co. ever were.
Thanks for the question!
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Thoughts On the Recent CtM News (Actors/Characters Leaving)
So, it’s looking like Patsy, Delia, and Cynthia will not be returning for series 7. This is very sad. I will miss these characters a lot. I’ve seen a lot of the emotional posts about this topic, and I understand the sadness, particularly from the ardent Pupcake fans. I wanted to share a few other thoughts as well. More thoughts follow (this is long and rambling, so be warned):
I think however the show chooses to deal with writing out Patsy and Delia, they need to mention their exit in a way that provides closure. I actually think the show has done this with Cynthia, even though I’ve noticed that some fans disagree. I know some didn’t see it this way, but I saw her 6x06 story as an exit. I wasn’t expecting her to come back to the show—at least not as a regular. I wrote that then as well. For me, her story was given an adequate conclusion, in that we know where Cynthia is and that she is in the right place. The story is somewhat following the real Cynthia’s story as recounted in the book. For me, the show portrayed Cynthia’s exit in a way that will allow for her to return if she ever wants to, but doesn’t require her to come back. If she ever does come back, as a regular or—more likely—for a guest appearance, we will know where she has been and why she was gone. I think that exit was dealt with adequately, at least for me.
As for Patsy and Delia, I think they need to be given an “exit story”. Whether the actresses will be able to appear on screen or not (and that depends on their schedules—I’m sure the show would do an on screen exit for them if it’s possible), the viewers need to be told that they are leaving/have left and be given some explanation for why they left (got new jobs elsewhere, moved to Paris, etc.) Yes, the show has handled some exits awkwardly, but I think that’s more because the actors weren’t available (Jane) or because they weren’t sure if the person was leaving permanently and were really hoping they weren’t (Chummy). When actors have left and given enough advance notice to the creative team, they have been given more elaborate/planned-out exits (Jenny and Sister E, for example, and I would also include Cynthia here).
I think what may have happened in this case is that as of the end of series 6, Emerald Fennell might not have known for sure that she wasn’t going to return, but thought it was a possibility. So they wrote her reunion scene with Delia, gave the couple their long-awaited on-screen kiss, and gave Patsy that line that suggested that if Patsy ever leaves again, Delia will be going with her. That sets up the possibility that she may not return, but if somehow Emerald was able to stay, that line wasn’t an obligation.
Also, as to Kate’s leaving along with Emerald, we don’t know if she has other commitments or not, but even if she doesn’t, the only possibility I can see for keeping Delia on the show long-term while Patsy leaves with no concrete plan of return would be to have the couple break up. As glad as I was to get to know more about Delia during Patsy’s temporary absence from the show, a permanent absence causing the couple to break up is an unpleasant idea to me. I would love to have seen Delia join the Nonnatus staff (and I think that was the original plan), but I think the announcement that Emerald wasn’t coming back for series 7 had to have changed the plan.
The thing about this show and its romantic couples (I’m not counting Trixie and Christopher because their relationship is still new to the point where they could break up without causing too much dramatic upheaval) is that with the committed couples —Pupcake, Turnadette, and I would even put Tom/Barbara and Fred/Violet here—the characters have been established and the couples have become inextricably tied to one another, to the point that in order to split them up there would have to be either a) serious character derailment so they can split up without one of them dying, b) one half of the couple would have to be killed off, or c) if one character leaves, their romantic partner goes with them. Of these four couples, I only see one with whom I think the show could go the “off-screen character” route with one of the partners—and that would be Fred and Violet if Annabelle Apsion ever decided to leave (with Violet becoming an off-screen character who is only referred to occasionally by Fred), but that’s because Violet has only ever been a recurring character on the show. If any of the six performers playing Patsy, Delia, Shelagh, Patrick, Tom, or Barbara decides they want to leave the show, you have to either kill off one of the characters in the couple, break up the couple in a way that wouldn’t be consistent with their already established characters, or send both partners off together into a nebulous but happy future. With Patsy and Delia, killing one of them off is *not* acceptable (because that happens to too many lesbian couples on TV), so you’re left with two options--they break up so one can stay on the show without the other, or you let them leave together and get their off-screen happy ending. I think of these possibilities, the last one, while still sad because both characters are leaving, is the best option because I can’t imagine Patsy and Delia breaking up in a way that doesn’t seem inconsistent with their established characters.
Also in terms of not wanting to watch the show without your favorite characters, this logic applies to me as well because if my favorite character (Shelagh) left without Patrick, she would have to a) die or b) have her (and/or Patrick’s) personality altered in a way that would dramatically explain her leaving Patrick/her family (which is *not* something I could see Shelagh as she is currently portrayed ever wanting to do). So faced with the option of death, drastic character derailment (and I really don’t see CtM doing this), or having the whole family leave the show, I would actually prefer the third option—all of them leaving, because to me this is most consistent with the characters (although I would most prefer if they all stay). I’m not sure I could still watch the show if option a or especially option b happened. The same would apply for Patrick as well, although for some reason I think it makes more dramatic sense for his character to die and leave Shelagh widowed than the other way around (although *neither* is much preferred).
Anyway, back to exits and closure, I think having Patsy and Delia leave together also eliminates another problem, and that’s the “why is X still here if Y isn’t coming back?” problem that they had when they kept Peter on the show for so long without Chummy coming back. In that case, I think they just really wanted Miranda Hart to come back, so they held out hope as long as they could and kept Peter around so that viewers wouldn’t forget that Chummy still existed in the world of the show, and so that they could resume their story together when/if she came back. What they didn’t seem to anticipate was that keeping Peter around actually made Chummy’s absence even *more* glaring, and also diminished Peter’s character so he just became the Designated Police Officer character. With Jane, I think keeping in the line they had originally filmed (about her going to nursing school) would have been an adequate exit, but for Chummy they need to mention something about the family moving away or something now that Peter isn’t coming back. This will leave the door open for any appearances in the future (they could visit or move back), but it would provide some closure in case they never come back. The same needs to happen for Patsy and Delia.
So, for Patsy and Delia, I hope what happens is that in the Christmas special, before new nurse Lucille arrives, the need for a new midwife is explained by saying something about why Patsy and Delia left. Maybe Delia has finished her midwife training and got a job back in Wales, or somewhere else outside of Poplar, and Patsy goes with her. I actually do think their exit will be mentioned (it really should be, anyway), and this is one way I can see how they could do that.
Now, I know this essay is really long now but I wanted to address one more issue, and that’s how actor availability sometimes dictates the plot of a show in ways that may not be easy to explain. This is exemplified by cases that I’ve seen mentioned before by fans, like the question of why Chummy and/or Jenny weren’t at Sister Evangelina’s funeral. Logically, you would think they would be there, but the show can’t show something if they don’t have the actress there for the story. I’m sure the creative team would have loved to have Chummy make an appearance in episode 5x08, but Miranda Hart wasn’t available, so Heidi was left with the only option—not having her there. You can (as I do) choose to headcanon it so that Chummy was actually at the church for the funeral but wasn’t there for the procession for some reason, or you can just assume that for some reason the character wasn’t able to be there at all. No matter how much it seems like something *should* happen, the show can’t *make* it happen if the actors they would need aren’t available. This is relevant to Patsy and Delia’s exit in that if they don’t appear in the Christmas special, I would guess it means that for whatever reason Emerald and Kate weren’t available for filming, which would necessitate an off-screen mention of their exit rather than an on-screen send-off like Jenny’s in 3x08. Or possibly Kate could be there with Emerald absent, and show Delia getting ready to move away and join Patsy wherever she has gone (which will/should be explained).
So, that’s all, I think. I’m sad to see Patsy, Delia, and Cynthia go, and I’m especially sad for the Pupcake shippers who were so invested in this couple and these characters. I hope these characters will be able to appear on the show again sometime in the future!
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