#I’ve already read the az chapter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autumnshighlady · 11 months

Text

I’ve Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 14)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: Reader and Azriel have a talk, Nesta discovers Eris’ secret

warnings: Night Court slander, semi graphic torture, Rhysand is horrible

word count: 7.1k

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: IM BACKKKKKK!!!!!! SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! This is some of my worst writing but I love the concept so here ya go, I hope this was worth the wait! More action coming soon, chapter 16/17 are gonna be HUGE!!!!!! x

feedback is appreciated, just no hate pls! these are just my opinions, i’m more curious to see how you all like the writing and characterization and storylines!

part 1 // part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12 / part 13 / part 14 / part 15 /

read on ao3

Spotify playlist

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

READER POV

You didn’t know how long it had been since Rhysand left you bloody and strung up in the cell. In some ways, you were grateful that the past while had been a blur. Your memory was a haze of flashes of searing pain, Rhysand’s voice in the background demanding you reveal the bond to him and admit the details of your conspiracy against his court. Yet you did not break, even as those tendrils of dark power carved into your already open wounds.

Despite not being able to feel her on the other side of the bond, Nesta was what got you through it. The thought of her in Autumn, far away from the Night Court’s reach, made you grit your teeth and fight the urge to crumble in front of the High Lord. You closed your eyes and pictured the eldest Archeron sister wandering through the paths of the woods, brilliant leaves of red and gold falling around her and landing on the soft grass. Her creamy skin adorned in a soft emerald dress, that golden-brown hair trailing down her back, finally free. You pictured her happy, content in her new environment. With Eris.

Even in your half-conscious state, you wondered how well the two were getting along. While the Inner Circle thought the Autumn heir was a cruel, sadistic bastard, you always knew Eris as your best friend’s older brother… the aloof, sarcastic male who would attempt to charm you to piss off Lucien. You never told Lucien, but every wink Eris had sent your way made butterflies swarm in your stomach. Eris was clever, a good intellectual match for Nesta at least. You had faith in her to be able to navigate the Autumn Court politics. After all, she had been raised to be a perfect courtier. Why the Inner Circle wanted to ignore that and make her into a warrior instead was mind-blowing. Even Lucien, who was incredibly skilled at negotiating and getting along with other courts, was treated like trash by the Inner Circle.

You missed him terribly. It had been months since you had seen Lucien, who was reportedly dwelling in the human lands now. You suspected he was being fed lies by Feyre and Rhys about your involvement in their court. No doubt their version of the story told a tale that painted you as the obedient female who eagerly immersed herself into the Night Court, grateful to be given this chance.

The eerie quiet of the cell was broken by the rush of air in the corner, the soft sound itself deafening against your pounding head. You couldn’t recall the last time you drank water, your throat dry as sandpaper. You didn’t lift your head up, for the weight of it was too much for your neck to bear. You did nothing, just accept the fact that Rhysand had returned for another crack at you.

But it was not Rhysand’s sneering voice that muttered, “Mother above.”

“Az…” Your voice was raspy and almost unrecognisable as you lifted your chin up. The spymaster stood before you, eyes widened slightly. His jaw was tense, and there was something about his expression you couldn’t decipher.

When he didn’t say anything, you tried again. “Please… help….”

“What happened?” He asked coldly, his shadows swirling around him. You flinched as they approached, drifting towards you like Rhysand’s mist had. The action didn’t go unnoticed. Azriel blinked, the only indication of surprise he was likely to give. Still, you could see it in his eyes as he put the pieces together. Not once had you ever flinched from the shadows that hovered around him. Until Rhysand’s own likened darkness had cut through your skin like butter.

“Water…” You mumbled. For a moment, you thought Azriel was going to ignore your request and continue to just stand there staring at you. But after what appeared to be a moment of contemplation, the spymaster pulled out a small canteen and unscrewed the lid. With his scarred hands he lifted it up to your lips. Your entire body sagged in relief as you eagerly drank the water, taking as much as he would give you. After downing about half of the liquid, Azriel stepped back.

“Thank you.” You said, voice clearer this time now that your dry throat had vanished.

“Rhysand did this to you.” Azriel said more as a statement than a question. After training with the spymaster for months, you could read him a bit easier than before. There was something behind his expression, revealed by the widened eyes and tensed jaw, that made you think whatever Azriel had expected his High Lord to do in his interrogation of you, this was not it.

So you nodded, and the tears that had been pooling in your eyes finally spilled down your cheeks. You hated crying in front of Azriel, or anyone really. But you were too tired to hold your tears back. Days in this cell, tortured without food or water… It was too much.

“Gods,” Azriel muttered, running a hand through his tousled locks. “When Rhysand told me he wanted to interrogate you himself, I didn’t expect…. this.”

You choked out a laugh. “Why does it matter to you anyways, Azriel? You were willing to send me to die on an impossible mission. My fate here is really no different.”

Azriel stiffened visibly, brows narrowing. “How did you–”

“Does it matter?” You interrupted bitterly, twisting your wrist around in the chain to try and relax the stiff muscles.

“You know if you want any shot of getting out of here, you’re going to have to tell the truth.” Azriel growled, his voice dropping. “You’ve been hiding things from me this entire time, and I’d like to know what. And why, starting with how you knew about the confidential mission to the continent before I even told you.”

You laughed again, a hollow, bitter sound echoing throughout the cell chamber. You were beyond caring at this point. No matter how you answered their questions, or if you answered them at all, there was no escaping the fact that telling the truth or not, you would not make it out of these dungeons. “You don't understand,” You retorted. “It doesn’t matter how I know. Telling you how will not change the fact that neither you nor Rhys will let me out of here anytime soon.”

The shadowsinger folded his arms, his cold gaze unblinking. “You do realise that if you want me to help, you’re going to have to be straight with me.”

It killed you that you couldn’t tell Azriel what was really going on. Some part of you yearned to, hoping that he’d finally get his head out of his High Lord’s ass. But you couldn’t shake how he just left you in here with Rhysand. Rhys apparently has his claws so deep in every member of the Inner Circle, it would take a lot more than a few months of training one on one with the spymaster for him to change.

“Please, just…” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you hung your head, ashamed. “Kill me. Get it over with.”

You heard him scoff. “I am not going to kill you.”

“You basically were by letting me be sent to die on the continent.”

“Damnit, (Y/N) I was trying to help you!” Azriel snapped, his tone rising.

You froze as you were lifting your head up. “What?”

Azriel rubbed his face with a scarred hand, leaning against one of the rocks that jutted out from the wall. He looked exasperated, the weariness on his face visible even in the dim lighting of the cell. “I was trying to find a way to get you out of the mission.” He said. “I told Rhys it would take months, years even to get you ready for that level of assignment. He did not listen. I spent those four weeks trying to find a way for you to escape, to get out of here.”

Your mind reeled from more than just exhaustion. Azriel had been trying to help you this whole time? He may not be brave enough to put his foot down to Rhysand, but had enough sense to try and get you out of this mess.

He continued. “I was trying to set up refuge for you, in a village far south on the continent. You’d have been safe there, if you laid low. I would have told Rhys that my spies reported you were killed.”

“Why?” You couldn’t help but ask. “Why lie to him for me? He’s your high lord.”

“Yes. And he always will be. But that does not mean I am not allowed to have my opinions on the way he handles some matters. It is unfair to drag someone into this line of work who does not want it, and it is even more unfair to send them on assignments they are not ready for.”

You chose your next words carefully. “You know why he did it, right?”

Azriel only stared at you, saying nothing.

“He wants me dead,” You whispered. “He wants me dead and you know it. That’s why he arranged the mission-”

“No,” Azriel cut you off, his voice sharp. “He was desperate for another spy, and could not send me. Braillyn would have expected that. You were the best one for the job, because they don’t know you. He just didn’t understand that you weren’t ready.”

You shook your head, heart sinking at Azriel’s denial. He wasn’t stupid, some part of him had to know the truth – that Rhysand wanted you dead because your defiance of him could cause unrest, even more so if you were plotting against him. Which you were. The first big step had been a success, getting Nesta out of the Night Court in a way that, by the law, prevented them from coming after her.

There was much more you had in store for the Inner Circle, but only time would tell if you would be able to pull it off. None of which would happen if you did not escape this cell.

“That’s not true, Azriel.” You said. “I wish you would see it. He knew I wasn’t ready, but if I died then he wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore. But if I somehow survived then he’d get the intel he wanted.”

The spymaster’s glare hardened. You shrank back slightly as he propped himself upright once again and stalked towards you. Large wings flared slightly, a menacing sight as he asked you firmly, “I will ask you this one more time. How did you find out about the mission?”

You didn’t answer, wondering if he was going to try and carve answers out of you like Rhysand had. Azriel had likely done such a thing countless times, perhaps in this very cell. Your wounds were crusted over and raw, fae healing abilities diminished in the darkness of the prison.

“It was Eris, wasn’t it?” Azriel said after a few minutes, bitterness and disappointment lacing his voice. “That’s why he proposed to Nesta, and why she insisted on you coming with them. It was part of a plan, wasn’t it? A plan for you and Nesta to escape.”

You did not bother confirming nor denying it, any defiance you had long ago wilted. Half your body had gone numb, and the other half ached beyond belief. You could feel yourself slipping further and further away, a discouragingly slow descent towards death. It was almost worse than the torture itself, being so close to death’s arms embracing you and carrying you to freedom, yet not quite there yet.

“Why?” Azriel asked sternly, taking your silence as an answer in and of itself. “Why would you want so badly to leave? To take Nesta away from her family?”

Bitterness coursed through you, igniting a fire in your voice. “If that is truly how you see it then you won’t even try to understand.” You hissed at him.

Azriel perched himself atop one of the rocks in the corner, those massive wings folding in. He shrugged, arms folded. “Humour me.” He challenged dryly.

These moments were crucial, you knew. It was your chance to either convince Azriel to help you, or to seal your fate and be locked in here forever. The choice weighed upon your already heavy shoulders like a rock. Rhysand would likely return soon and Azriel would disappear again, along with this one chance. And so you chose.

“Nesta will never be part of the Inner Circle, and you know it.” You said. “All you guys have done is try and muzzle her, control her, make her docile enough to sit quietly alongside you at the table but never truly be a part of everything.”

“We were trying to help her–” Azriel interrupted, but you quickly cut him off.

“By forcing her to train? Do something she never wanted? There are many ways to help someone, Azriel. This method may have worked for you and Cassian, but it is not for everyone. Nesta was hurting after the war, and all she received was judgement. You lot consume a bottle of wine every Friday night at Rita’s, but when Nesta does it, suddenly it’s a bad thing? You’ve all slept around, but when Nesta does it, she should be shamed? You have all held her to an impossible standard and refused to give her time to heal. But none of you ever cared about her healing, only how she made you look. You’ve done exactly to her what Tamlin did to your High Lady.”

You expected Azriel to argue, to fight back in defence of his found family. But he merely stared at you, eyes unreadable. You took it as a sign to continue.

“Nesta is drowning in the Night Court.” You said, locking eyes with the shadowsinger. “She will never be accepted here, and being a warrior is not what she wants. You are not stupid, Azriel. You know this. Feyre has found her new family, and that is fine. Let Nesta find her own. Please, just let her go.”

The eerie echoes throughout the cell were the only sound for the next few minutes. Your gut churned at Azriel’s reaction to your rant. He had said nothing, made no defence nor an agreement. That was almost more nerve-wracking to you.

“You see much of yourself in Nesta, do you not?” Azriel finally spoke, unfolding his arms. “That’s why you resorted to involving Eris to help get Nesta out. You have known him for as long as you’ve known his little brother, so you went to him for aid, did you not?”

“Yes.” You muttered. You didn’t have it in you to deny anything anymore. With what you had already admitted, Azriel would figure everything out on his own. You just hoped that Nesta had solidified her position in the Autumn Court quickly enough to prevent a war from breaking out.

“And he was at the meeting where Rhysand discussed sending you to the continent,” The spymaster continued, hazel eyes gleaming in the darkness. “So that’s how you knew. And you came up with the idea of marriage to get Nesta out, did you not?”

“Yes.”

“Here’s what I don’t understand,” Azriel stood up, once again looking down at your withered form. “That plan involved a clean way out for everyone except you. Why? Were you wanting to get sent to the continent to die?”

“It is because she loves Nesta.”

The arrogant voice of the High Lord filled the room, chilling your bones. Your entire body went stiff with panic, and even Azriel’s eyes widened as Rhysand appeared from behind you. Clearly, he hadn’t expected his brother back so soon.

The sound of footsteps and a dark presence was all your senses noted as you closed your eyes, feeling Rhysand walk around you to stand next to Azriel. You couldn’t bring yourself to open them, to look into the face that had sneered as tendrils of dark mist tortured you for hours.

“Good job, Az, you got her to talk!” Rhys clapped Azriel’s stiff shoulder, shock still evident on the spymaster’s face. “She said a hell of a lot more to you than she did to me. But I don’t recall ordering you to interrogate her. Unless my excellent memory is wrong, of course.”

Azriel straightened his spine, glaring at the High Lord. “You didn’t,” He said plainly. “But seeing the results of your last meeting with her and how little information you gathered, I believe it best you leave the rest of it to me.”

You finally opened your eyes, greeted by the practically feline smile of the High Lord. He bore a triumphant look on his face, one that made your body shake with nerves. Somehow, he had heard almost everything – Azriel’s shadows not even detecting his presence. Deep down, you knew that you were never getting out of here now.

“No.” Rhysand said. “You’ve done enough. You can carve her up all you want and nothing will make the magic mark appear, so I don’t need you for this next part. You are dismissed, Azriel.”

Unlike before, Azriel stood his ground. “No,” He growled. “As your spymaster, it is my job to be involved in these things. I am staying.”

Rhysand merely shrugged, showing no signs that he cared about his brother defying him. “Suit yourself. But you are not to intervene, do you understand?”

“Intervene with what?”

Rhysand hummed, taking a step towards you. You flinched as he brought his hand up, taking one of your tangled locks and pushing it behind your ear. An act so seemingly gentle, filling you with more fear than you had ever known.

“You look famished, darling.” He crooned, stroking your ice cold cheek. “If you show me the mark that allows you to communicate with Nesta, we can get you a nice hot plate of food and some water.”

With your mouth no longer dry, you gathered up as much saliva as you could manage and spat in the High Lord’s face. From the corner of your eye, you noticed Azriel’s jaw drop open slightly at the action, and you almost laughed.

But Rhysand only chuckled, wiping your spit off his face before standing back up to his full height. “I may not have been able to get into your head before,” He said. “But now that you are weakened, I will be able to break through your shields.”

Searing pain shot through your skull and you screamed. Those dark tendrils that had sliced your flesh before were now in your head, scraping down your shields like nails on a chalkboard. The pain was unlike anything you had experienced, the worst migraine of your life times a hundred.

Through the screaming, which you weren’t sure if it was in your head or out loud, you could hear Azriel’s muffled voice in the background. “Stop it, Rhys,” He was protesting. “You’ll kill her.”

Rhysand ignored him, continuing to try and force his way into your head. It felt like the entire force of the sea had come crashing down on your skull, pushing and pounding in every direction in search of a crack. Your entire body shook, the pain from your physical wounds nonexistent in comparison.

“This isn’t right.” Azriel was saying. “I will get her to talk, just stop this. She’ll never trust us if you keep doing this.”

“I don’t care about her trust.” You heard Rhysand say, his voice both in your head and echoing throughout the room. “Once I get into her head and get what I need, she will be of no more use to us. Then she’ll be your problem.”

The sensation of white hot needles pricking into your head took over, and you let out a wail. It was a thousand times worse than before, especially in your starved state.

Please, You begged the Mother, or any gods out there. Please kill me. Grant me this mercy and end it.

Amidst the pain and your screams, a warm sensation brushed your shoulder, like someone’s hand was grasping it in reassurance. You can do this. It seemed to say, in a voice so familiar yet like nothing you had ever heard before.

“What are you saying?” Azriel growled.

The High Lord’s next sentence was all you heard before darkness overtook your vision. “When I am done, I need you to kill her, Azriel.”

NESTA POV

The smell of a freshly made breakfast sandwich and tea roused Nesta from her sleep. As her eyes crept open to meet the golden glow of the sunrise, she became rapidly aware of the presence lounging beside her. Nesta’s vision focused after a few blinks, a male with red hair coming into focus.

Instantly, she shot up, wincing as the pounding headache she apparently woke up with protested. “What the fuck, Eris?” She practically yelled, bunching up the bedsheets to cover her nightgown.

“Ah, finally you’re awake!” The prince said casually, as if he was not laying next to her sleeping form with his head propped up against the bed frame. “Half the day has gone by already while you slept.”

“It’s sunrise, asshole.” Nesta hissed furiously, wishing she had a dagger nearby to stab him with. “Were you watching me sleep?”

“Exactly,” Eris quipped, turning to the next page in the book that he was currently reading. “And no, watching you sleep is rather boring. Especially when you snore. Besides, this novel is way more interesting.”

Growling, Nesta snatched the book from him after noting it was a smutty romance one she had snuck from the library and was currently reading. Eris smirked knowingly, making Nesta’s cheeks burn. “I did not take you for a romance novel type of female,” He purred, arrogantly reaching up his arm to rest behind his head. “Especially ones with such erotica.”

Nesta gave him a hard shove, unbalancing him. “Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

Eris chuckled, raising his hands in mock defenselessness. “But I brought you breakfast! Am I really not allowed to bring my loving fiancé breakfast in bed?”

She shot daggers at him with her eyes. “Your loving fiancé is going to murder you before the wedding if you don’t get out within the next fifteen seconds.”

Eris sighed in defeat. “I do not know what I did to deserve this type of treatment from my future wife.” He muttered in obvious sarcastic pity, but climbing off the bed nonetheless. Nesta crossed her arms over her chest, cursing inwardly at the headache that plagued her. If she had better control of her magic, she’d send a stream of silver fire after Eris’ ass on his way out.

It had been one week since the dinner with Beron where she was granted one month to train her powers, and every day had been the same routine. Get woken up before the sun has even risen, ride Diadoro and Calypso to a remote clearing in the forest about an hour away, try over and over again to follow Eris’ instructions only for either nothing to happen or absolute catastrophe. The day usually ended in an argument, either about training, Eris’ progress in finding you, or where he was on his plan to dispose of his father. And then followed by a very silent ride back to the manor.

“Meet me by the lake in 10 minutes.” Eris called out as he shut the door, leaving Nesta to eat the breakfast laid across the tray. She groaned, rubbing her eyes and wishing for just an hour of rest.

Sleep hadn’t been coming easily lately. Every night was the same dream – Nesta running around a dark maze with walls of stone, trying to get to you. She could hear your screams as if they were real, echoing throughout her head whenever she was left alone with her own thoughts. Eris insisted he was doing everything he could to find you, but the more time passed the more worried she got. Every day Nesta woke up, she was plagued by the aching in her chest.

In record time, she managed to consume half of her breakfast and get herself dressed. The outfits Eris had always prepared for her were admittedly perfect, and today was no different. A forest green gown with gold buttons up the front, and a subtle dark pink trim. Nesta had no idea where Eris was pulling these gowns from, but she didn’t complain as she slipped on the comfortable material.

Eris was waiting with Calypso and Diadoro, the creatures tacked up and ready to go. Calypso was pawing at the ground impatiently, as if she had been waiting a while.

“At last she graces us with her presence.” Eris called out as Nesta approached hurriedly. It had taken her an extra few minutes to get ready, as her hair did not cooperate in its usual cornet. For the first time in Autumn, Nesta had simply pulled her golden brown locks back into a simple braid before hurrying out the door.

“You said ten minutes, I took fifteen, get over it.” She snapped, taking Diadoro’s reins from Eris’ outstretched hand. “Besides, I needed a few minutes to recover from the fright of looking at your face the first thing waking up.”

Eris chuckled. “A sight to look forward to after our wedding day, my dear.”

Nesta rolled her eyes, climbing into the saddle as Eris held the stirrup in place for her. He had insisted Nesta get used to riding, something she had protested at first. But admittedly, it was fun, not that she’d ever admit that in front of Eris. As the Prince got on Calypso’s back, the pair and their horses headed off through the path they had taken every day for the last week.

It was a scenic route, the Autumn hues throughout the forest bringing Nesta a sense of calm that she had never quite found at the Night Court. She was no longer always cold, bones chilled by the crisp night air that seemed to somehow be present during the day, even though none of the Inner Circle seemed to feel it. She only wished she could share this stroll with you.

After about twenty minutes of riding, Nesta decided to change things up and break the usual silence that they rode in. “Where are you with your search for her?” She said quietly.

“Well, my spies are convinced she is still somewhere in the Night Court.” Eris responded cautiously, his voice flat.

“So why can’t we go back and get her?” Nesta pressed as they continued to ride through the trees.

“Many, many reasons,” Eris said in a matter-of-fact voice. “Firstly, you know that the High Lord and the brute would snatch you up immediately. You would never get out after that. Secondly, neither of us knows the terrain. The Night Court is large, and she could be anywhere. It is not easy to pinpoint exactly where she is out of the dozens of places she could be.”

“Eris, every night I have the same dream. I’m running through an underground maze of stone, with walls of black rock. And I hear her voice. And you’re saying this doesn’t help at all?”

The Autumn princeling sighed, halting the horses. “Correct. Because the Night Court has hundreds of mountains, all of which could be harbouring some underground dungeon. So no, it doesn’t help.”

Deep down, Nesta knew he was right. She tangled her fingers in Diadoro’s mane to soothe the sea of worry churning within her. “Why did we stop?” She asked after a few moments.

Eris turned to face her, his eyes serious for once. “Nesta, I know how badly you want to find her. I do too. But with how well hidden and warded the Night Court is, not to mention remoteness, it is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. And if the magic from your bond can’t reach her, I’m afraid I’ve done everything I can.”

“No.” Nesta refused to believe it. You had been her anchor to this earth for months, her reason for keeping her chin up and moving through the relentless stormy sea it seemed she was destined to wade through.

Eris’ voice was gentle. “Nesta, you are immortal now. You have a long life ahead of you. Clinging onto this will only hold you back.”

“Easy for you to say,” Nesta shot back, not caring how deep her words cut. “You don’t care about anyone. Must be no problem for you to just drop people once you’ve gotten what you want.”

For the first time since she had known him, Eris’ face fell slightly. Regret washed over Nesta immediately at the hurt flickering in his amber eyes. Insults were part of Nesta and Eris’ routine now, but this…. She knew she had gone too far.

“Do you truly think so little of me?” Eris asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. There was no trace of the arrogant prince she had grown used to.

“I just…” Her voice trailed off. “I don’t know what to think anymore. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

“I know. And I’m doing my best to get things back on track, but it’s proving almost impossible.”

Nesta swallowed the familiar lump in her throat that indicated tears were going to begin welling up soon. “I know.” She said before coughing and regaining her composure. “Anywho, you were the one insisting we were late. Let’s get going.”

Before she could move Diadoro forward, Eris turned Calypso to the right and headed off the path. “We’re doing something else today,” He called out. “Follow me.”

Nesta didn’t have to do anything, as Diadoro was already following the white horse off the path, expertly stepping over roots and branches in his way. “Where are we going?” She demanded.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Tell me.”

“That would ruin the surprise.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do. Keep moving.”

Nesta huffed, but didn’t protest. She had never been on this route before, and the further they got the rockier it was. Trees grew sparser, and the soil became harder. The journey reminded Nesta of something from one of the fantasy books in the library at the House of Wind, and with a pang she thought about Gwyn and Emerie.

She wondered how her disappearance had been explained. Most likely, they had been told that Nesta was kidnapped by Eris or something. Nesta missed them terribly – Emerie’s snorting laughter, the way Gwyn’s eyes would light up as she explained something in her research, how they both took an instant liking to you.

“Eris?” Nesta asked about thirty minutes into their trek.

“Yes, my fearsome goddess?” Eris singsonged over his shoulder in response.

“Can I bring my two friends to Autumn?”

“I did not realise you had friends other than (Y/N) in the Night Court.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, I do. I met them at my training, and…” Her voice trailed off, unsure of how to phrase it without seeming weak. Nesta had never needed anyone before, but the lack of Gwyn and Emerie’s presence in her life lately was beginning to weigh on her.

“You miss them.” Eris finished her sentence for her. “Once I am High Lord, we can invite them to come here.”

“For a visit?”

He shrugged. “Or to stay permanently, if that is what they wish.”

Nesta’s heart fluttered with excitement at the idea. She knew Gwyn would love it here certainly, once she got used to it. Emerie too, who would be relieved at being miles away from her vile family. “I’ll hold you to that, Eris.” She said sternly.

“Consider it one of the many wedding gifts I shall spoil you with.”

Nearly two hours later, Eris finally halted Calypso and got off. It was the longest ride Nesta had been on thus far, and her inner thighs ached. Luckily, the prince was already reaching up to grab her waist, lifting her out of the saddle with an impressive amount of strength.

“Thanks.” She mumbled, cheeks red with embarrassment before asking, “Where are we?”

There was nothing notable in her surroundings, save for a rocky cliff that loomed above them a few metres ahead. Calypso and Diadoro had pressed their noses to the ground in search of grass amidst the sparsity.

“All will be revealed.” Eris winked, then extended his hand. He glanced up at the cliff, and Nesta crossed her arms.

“I am not scaling that cliff.” She said sternly, causing Eris to chuckle.

“I would not make you, certainly in those skirts,” He said. “We’re winnowing up there.”

“You know I hate winnowing.”

“Fine, if you’d like to climb it then I’ll see you in a few hours–”

Nesta quickly grabbed Eris’ hand, cutting him off. It tingled against her own, like electricity in her veins was jumping out to meet his own. She ignored his smirk as the world went askew and the ground fell away underneath her feet.

A split second later, they stood atop the cliff. The wind immediately whipped across Nesta’s cheeks, but it was not cold. Oddly enough, it was warmer up here, like the very rocks they stood on were heated. The colourful forest spanned across the horizon, bright with the now late morning sun. Nesta’s braid whipped in the wind, coming undone within seconds.

“I’ve been keeping this from my father,” Eris said, turning away from the edge of the cliff and walking away, leaving Nesta to follow. “A secret weapon, if you will.”

Nesta hurried to catch up, her long strides matching his own. “A weapon to kill him with? Up here?”

Eris chuckled, shaking his head. “No, between you and me we are perfectly capable of doing it ourselves. This weapon will help solidify me as the High Lord and prevent other courts from going to war with us. And I think it will help you with your magic.”

Nesta halted, dread forming in her stomach as she thought of the last few magical weapons she encountered. The mask, that took away everything she felt and made her raise an army of the dead. The Cauldron, that stole her humanity away from her and turned her into a creature she had grown up learning to hate and fear. The thought of something else like that made her knees go weak.

“It’s nothing like the Cauldron, I swear to you.” Eris said calmly, as if reading her thoughts. “Come, I promise it’s something entirely different.”

After a second of hesitation, Nesta resumed following Eris. They walked further and further, approaching a large mountain with a cave entrance that was bigger than anything she had ever seen.

“Are we seriously going down there?” Nesta gaped. The closer she got, the warmer the air was. It sang to the silver flames within her, and she felt them dance.

“Yes.” Eris said, igniting a flame in his hand in place of a torch before entering the darkness. Not wanting to lose the light and be stranded in the dark, Nesta followed. They walked down the large cavern, and the further they went the more her power begged to be let out.

“You can feel it, can’t you?” Eris asked, pausing at the bottom of the slope they had just crawled down. “Like calls to like, Nesta.”

Eris’ flame didn’t illuminate much, but by the way their footsteps echoed, Nesta could tell whatever chamber they were in was large enough for a small city. “What is this place?” She asked.

As usual, Eris continued his lecture and neglected to answer her question. “You fear your power too much, Nesta, because you haven’t seen anything like it. You are letting your fear control you, and you need confidence if you are to wield your powers in a manner that impresses my father. There are many fire-wielders in this world, Nesta Archeron. Yours may be different, but you can learn from others. And not just me.”

Nesta took in a sharp breath, the taste of smoke and ash on her tongue. “This secret weapon…” She said slowly. “It’s not a ‘what’.... it’s a ‘who’.”

Eris nodded, his pale face a striking gold in the light of the flames. “Do not be afraid.”

Before she could ask what he meant, a low but fierce growl vibrated throughout the chasm. It quaked her bones, and the floor began to tremble with what felt like the footsteps of a large creature. And then another, and another.

Nesta trembled as they grew louder, but refused to shrink back. She would not be a coward, not in front of Eris, even as whatever weapons Eris had approached them. The prince stepped forward, lifting up his flaming hand and illuminating the dark space a bit more to reveal not one, but three massive, scaling heads.

The heads of dragons.

The one in the middle had onyx scales, barely visible within the darkness. Its head was only illuminated by its glowing amber eyes. The one on the right was almost as big, but it had golden scales and larger horns on its head. And the one on the left crawled opposite from Nesta, a shining shade of silver with a longer neck. Each beast exuded sheer power and might, the space in the enormous cavern almost too small for their bodies.

Time seemed to slow down and stop as the three dragons approached, the orange glow from their mouths and bellies lighting the chasm. They were a thousand times bigger than a horse, almost the size of an entire palace.Nesta gawked, and her magic began to thrum excitedly at the beasts. Realistically, her instincts should have screamed at her to run before she was burned to ash, but she felt none. No, Nesta was rooted to the stone in fascination and awe.

Eris approached the black dragon, who lowered its head and growled. For a second, Nesta thought it would simply devour Eris whole. But instead, it let out a crooning noise and pushed its nose into Eris’ flaming palm. He began murmuring to the dragon in a language Nesta didn’t recognize, and the beast purred in response.

Her fixation on Eris with the dragon was broken by a low growl, and she flinched as the silver dragon snaked its head towards her.

“Summon a flame.” Eris instructed, still stroking the snout of the black dragon, despite its head being twenty times his size.

“What?” Nesta said, still frozen in place as the dragon crept towards her.

“Just do it.”

She raised a shaky hand, taking a deep breath. She tried not to think about the size of the dragon’s teeth approaching her as she reached down and grabbed a hold of a silver tendril of her power.

Yes please! It seemed to cry. Let me out to play. Let me make new friends.

Just as Eris had taught her, a ball of silver fire began to dance in the palm of Nesta’s hand. The dragon paused, lowering its head even further towards her hand. Nesta tensed up, but her flames had other plans – they flickered in the direction of the dragon, almost as if they were excited to greet it.

The silver beast made a low rumbling noise in response, and pressed its nose into Nesta’s hand, just as the black dragon did with Eris. She gasped, expecting her flames to burn the creature’s nose and cause a wake of destruction, yet it did not flinch from her fire. Its eyes met Nesta’s, and she felt as if her very soul was being gazed into, as if the dragon could see every raw, vulnerable part of her. The scales were smooth against Nesta’s slightly shaky hand, hotter than the warmest coals yet they did not burn her. Her flames danced along the scales, exploring the dips and horns of the dragons’ head. But it did not seem to mind, only continuing to gaze into Nesta’s eyes.

For a moment, she was overcome with emotion. The sensation of touching a creature so mighty, so powerful, one that she thought only existed in the stories she read. But then she, too, was now a creature that existed in storybooks. One that was admired for its beauty yet feared for its power, much like the very beast before her. It looked at her with such understanding, such intensity Nesta felt like she could both crumble on the spot and conquer the world at the same time.

“Her name is Athariel,” Eris’ voice broke her out of her trance. “I figured you’d like her. The one with me is Morgoth, and the golden one is Zorzimril.”

“I…” Nesta swallowed her emotion, tentatively stroking the dragon’s scales. It made a purring sound, the silver flames dancing around it excitedly.

“I found their eggs here just over a century ago.” Eris explained, his voice echoing in the chamber. “I thought they were rocks. There were rumours of dragons existing at the beginning of the world, but the last rumour comes from the wild hunt. No proof of them existed, until I found the eggs. No amount of research helped me figure out how to un-petrify them, until I felt them call to me. I used my magic and lit the hottest fire I could manage, placing the eggs inside them. A few hours later, they hatched. I’ve been raising them in secret for almost 150 years, training them. They are my secret weapon.”

“Like calls to like…” Nesta murmured, observing how her silver flames played with the dragon, who remained unscathed.

Eris smirked, patting Morgoth on the cheek. “Exactly. I have bonded with Morgoth, and I figured you and Athariel would be a good match. You can learn a lot from her, and she can help you conquer your fear. From everything I’ve learned over the past century, they’re loyal beasts. If you bond with her, she will defend you fiercer than anyone in this realm.”

The thought of this powerful creature looking out for Nesta made her overwhelmed with emotion. Maybe they were both seen as monsters by the rest of the world, but they could face it together, if Athariel let her. Nesta thought back to all the times she felt true fear – at the Hewn City, Illyria, the battlefield, there was no trace of that now. Somehow, she felt safer with this dragon than she had in the Night Court.

Nesta glanced at Zorzimril, the golden beast. “What about her?”

Eris sighed, resting his shoulder against Morgoth’s head. “I had hoped that with (Y/N) here, she would bond with her. It seems like fate, does it not, Nesta Archeron? Three of us, three dragons. I am not particularly religious, but it seems the Mother has set this out for us. Zorzimril is the reason I still have hope that we will find (Y/N).”

taglist (comment if you want to be added): @queercontrarian @kitkat-writes-stuff @moonfawnx @sevikas-whore @weird-and-wise @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet @kingshitonly @ladyofcherries @eerievixen @readingwritingwatching @peacecoffeeandflowers @a-frog-with-a-laptop @shadowqueen25 @lana08 @highladyofillyria @rachelnicolee @ladespedidas @little-darlingo @manonblackbeakquidditchteam13 @demirunner @terorovaerangi @hauntedandhopeful @younxii @microwaveallthedemons @fanfictioniseverything @lovra974 @maddietheshoe @peaceandcrackers @emy1-9 @lostinfantasyworldsbi @issybee0611 @thoughtfulshepherdmongerkid @belledawnidk @whhyyynottt @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @littlebbb @piceous21 @sevendeadlyshins-blog @searchingford @marigold-morelli @thesapphiclibrarian @

146 notes · View notes

bookish-whore · 2 years

Text

Falling Part IV

Azriel x Reader

Words: 4.6k

Warnings: Angst

A/N: This is a rollercoaster of a chapter (so buckle in) and is one of the first big ideas I had for where to take this story and I love how it came out. Thank you all for reading and showing me so much support for this story it means the world. See if you can spot the ToG references. I also feel like I should release some headcannons about this little universe I’ve created. As always requests are open <3

Part I, Part II, Part III,

--------------------------------------------------

Winter Solstice was tonight, and the preparations were in full swing. I had arrived at the River House a few hours early to help with decorating, and because Feyre was anxious, it would be the first solstice party here and she wanted to make sure it was perfect (which was driving Rhysand insane) hence why the high lord had mind spoke to me earlier asking if I could help her delegate tasks and set up for the party. After showing me to the designated dressing room, I quickly stashed my gifts along with my dress for later, I joined Feyre in the kitchen where I found her laughing with Nuala and Cerridwen about pastry fillings as they confirmed the menu. While the three of them spoke, I couldn’t help but be nervous for later, so I let my mind wander into a recent memory.

+++

A few days after my outing with Feyre, I had returned to the Velaris markets to finish my shopping. I needed to pick up gifts for the remaining members of the inner circle and the trip turned out to be successful. I got watercolors for Feyre, a crystal decanter for Rhysand, A mobile for little Nyx, it had stars and wyverns and Illyrians that spun to a lovely melody. I got Lucien a new quiver for his arrows, and I had gotten a selection of Cassian’s favorite sweets, but it was the shadowsingers gift that made me tense. After walking for what seemed like an eternity, I had been ready to give up on a gift for Az. I mean what gift would be suitable for your mate who has no idea you are his mate?

I was ready to call it when I passed this small shop, it was hidden out of the way so much so that you wouldn’t know it was there unless you were seeking it out. For some reason, I felt a pull to enter and found a strange amalgamation of items. The shop was dark, only lit by candles placed on random tables and at the front counter. As I looked around, I could see that there were weapons, jewelry, and books, there were so many stacks of books along the walls and other miscellaneous items. The shopkeeper perked up as I entered giving me a sweet greeting before explaining that most of the items in the shop were charmed and imbued with magic of some kind. I stumbled across a pair of fingerless leather gloves, the shop keeper told me they were that the leather was woven with spidersilk so they couldn't be torn, ripped, or cut with any blade and that they were charmed to fit the wearer and could withstand all of the elements, including fire. I quickly purchased them and left the shop promising to return to peruse the book selection. I also stopped in the Velaris apothecary shop for a backup gift in the event that I lost my nerve in giving him something so personal.

+++

“y/n?” I was quickly pulled out of my thoughts as I registered my name being spoken by the high lady

“Hmmm?” I finally met her gaze “I’m sorry did you ask me something I must have been lost in thought”

“I could tell” she joked “Will you grab these trays and bring them to the sitting room?” she asked

“of course!” I picked up the silver trays of glasses and followed Feyre through the house. When we reached the sitting room, I was surprised to find Cassian and Nesta putting pine garlands decorated with ornaments on the mantle of the fireplace. They both greeted me warmly; Cassian pulling me into a bear hug and spinning me in a circle, while Nesta kissed my cheek pulling me into a sweet embrace. After briefly catching up I decided to tell them, since Feyre, Nesta and Cassian were already here, and they had been such a huge part of my journey so far, I figured they deserved a heads up about what was going to happen at the festivities later.

“So…” they looked at me expectantly “I’m going to tell Az. I’m going to tell him about the bond tonight”

“That’s huge y/n” Nesta says “are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“Absolutely not but…he deserves to know” I said giving Feyre a small smile.

“You owe me 20 gold marks” Cassian says holding his hand out to Feyre, the high lady lets out a hearty laugh as Rhysand walks into the room.

Nesta slaps him on the arm. “What?!” Cassian says “We had a bet, and clearly I know y/n because I just won”

“Technically” the high lord begins “The bet was that she tells him by the end of the year, so if she tells him before midnight then you win… but if it’s after that then we win” he gives his mate a sly wink.

“I cannot believe you are placing bets on this” I say, a smile blooming on my lips as I look at them. “My life could fall apart so if anyone is going to win those marks it is me.” We all look at each other and laugh, it was a nice break from the thoughts that had been eating away at me all day, the rock that had settled in my stomach at the thought of telling Azriel about the bond.

“It will be alright y/n” the high lord says placing a comforting hand on my shoulder “Now, I may not be the best at giving this kind of advice, because well you know.” He smiles looking over at his mate “but if I know anything, it’s that this was the best thing to happen to me. I think Az will feel that way too”

I look around the room and smile at them, my friends who were trying to offer me some kind of comfort, trying to lighten my mood before tonight.

“Now” Feyre says clapping her hands together “It’s time to get ready!”

The high lady led Nesta and I to the designated dressing room to prepare for the evening. She had three soaking tubs placed in the bathing room side by side so we could talk while we took in the sweet smells of the various soaps and oils in the water. Once we were satisfied, and the water had become tepid we put on our robes and moved around the room in tandem; drying our hair, applying simple makeup, and continuing to chat about nothing and about everything. A soft knock at the door halted our conversation; I could tell by the scent that it was Cassian holding Nyx who needed his mother. I opened the door, motioning for the Illyrian general to enter and as he did, I took Nyx from him, cooing to him while I took him to his mothers waiting arms.

Cassian had made his way over to his mate, whispering something in her ear as he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. Based on the quick shift in their scents I gathered that it was all the things he planned to do to her later, when they were alone. Nesta gave him one of her signature smirks as she told him to leave the room, that we would meet them downstairs briefly. Cassian pressed a kiss to her lips, gave Feyre and I a wave and promptly left the room.

After a quick feeding, Feyre handed Nyx to me so she could get dressed and head downstairs to make sure everything was ready for our gathering. The little prince was a dream, he looked up at me with those piercing blue eyes and smiled, before slowly falling asleep as I rocked him in my arms. The high lady emerged in a light blue outfit, it was in signature night court fashion, a pair of high waisted pants loose and billowing with velvet cuffs of silver around her ankles paired with a matching top with long sleeves that were made of sheer material that also featured cuffs of the same silver fabric on her wrists. The top ended just above her navel revealing a sliver of skin as she walked across the room to where I sat with a now sleeping Nyx.

“I’ll take him” Feyre whispered, and I gently shifted the sleeping babe into his mothers’ arms “you two need to finish getting ready and I’ll meet you downstairs” she said walking towards the door, as she opened it, she used her daemati gifts to wish me luck telling Azriel tonight, and that she felt it would all work out in my favor. I smiled at her as she left the room with Nyx.

Nesta and I continued talking, mostly about her sexual endeavors with Cassian. I have to admit I was happy to listen, I was living vicariously through her at this point. I helped her zip up her dress, it was elegant but simple, a floor length A-line black dress with long sleeves, the interesting part being the deep v neckline that I’m sure Cassian would love, while she put on her jewelry I got into my own dress. For tonight I had chosen a long burgundy dress, it was sleeveless and had a high neckline with a keyhole cutout, so I could show a little cleavage. After putting on simple earrings, and a few rings I looked to Nesta who gave me her nod of approval.

“You ready” she asked

“As I’ll ever be” I replied and with that we made our way to the party downstairs.

--------------------------------------------------

The party is in full swing, Amren and Varian were the last to arrive, fashionably late as expected. I managed to get a drink before I made my way around the room and found Lucien who introduced me to Vassa and Jurian or the band of exiles as they call themselves. I also found Helion engaged in conversation with Mor, Emerie, Gwyn, Cassian and Nesta. Helion gave me a wink as I walked past. I also saw Feyre and Rhys on opposite couches talking with Vivienne, her mate Kallias and Tarquin, the high lord of the Summer Court.

I took another look around the room and finally spotted Azriel, who was standing alone in the doorway. I decided to make my way over before I lost my nerve.

“Enjoying the party spymaster?” I say with a sly smile

“Much more now that you’re here” he takes a look at my outfit for the night, raking his eyes from the floor back up to meet my eyes “You look beautiful tonight y/n”

“Stop it” I playfully hit his arm but can’t stop the blush that spreads to my face at the compliment. I see Elain beginning to make her way over and decide now is the time to ask.

“So, I need to talk to you about something, when you have a minute” I managed to say, surprised at myself for how calm and collected I sounded.

“Of course, anything for you” he replies “I’ll find you after gifts and we can go to the roof, away from prying fae ears.” I give him a nod and a smile as Elain makes it to us.

“Enjoying the party y/n?” she asks

“I am so far, and you?” I decide to make polite conversation with the female.

“I prefer the quiet, all the people and the noise. I’m still getting acclimated to having fae senses, so I find it a bit overwhelming to focus” Azriel puts a protective arm around her, and she rests her head against his shoulder.

“There is an apothecary in Velaris and they sell this tonic, usually it’s meant for babes with ear infections but it dulls the sensitivity of your ears. You should try it; you know for events like this” I say

“Thanks for the tip, we should go investigate” she says more to Azriel than myself, he gives her a nod. Pulling her hand to his mouth to press a gentle kiss there. I was proud of myself for remaining there when only a few weeks ago the display of affection would have sent me into an episode.

“Well, you two enjoy your evening” I say scanning the room for Lucien

“You too y/n” they both reply.

I spot the red hair and make my way over; he was now talking with Helion. As I made my way over, I could make out they were planning his move to the Day Court. Since the revelation that Helion was Lucien’s biological father they have been building their relationship and part of that was Lucien learning about the Day Court, since he would one day be its high lord.

“y/n my dear” Helion said grasping my hands in his and making me do a turn “You are an absolute vision”

“And you, are an absolute menace” I say back “But back to the conversation at hand, when am I losing my dear friend to the Day Court”

“I’ll officially be there in a months’ time” Lucien says

“But you my dear, are welcome any time; day or night” the high lord says with a wink

“I may have to take you up on that Helion, I’ll miss my dear Lucien far too much to stay away”

Lucien pulls me into a side hug, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and presses a kiss to my temple “You will be welcome anytime” he says

Our conversation is interrupted as Feyre and Rhysand announce that they will be exchanging gifts for those that wish to. I make my way to the circle forming in the room and seat myself between Mor and Gwyn on one of the sofas as we start passing gifts around. I was overwhelmed at the beautiful gifts I received. I had gotten books from Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie so I could join their smutty book club. Feyre had painted my fondest memory of myself and the Valkyries after the blood rite atop Ramiel. Rhysand had gotten me a gorgeous pair of Illyrian leathers, along that theme Cassian had gotten me a set of throwing knives. Mor got me lingerie “for educational purposes” she claimed, and Lucien gave me a beautiful necklace, it was gold with an emerald set in the center surrounded by smaller stones. I had immediately lifted my hair from my neck and turned around so he could place it on me. Everyone had loved the gifts I had gotten them, all except Azriel because I had opted to give him his privately as he was quite a reserved person. A few people were still exchanging gifts as I got up to go across the room for another drink when I heard Azriel make an announcement.

“I have one more” he says pulling a small box out of his shadows as he makes his way across the room to where Elain is standing.

“Elain Archeron” he says slowly

“These last months with you have been the happiest of my life” he said as he dropped to one knee, and I felt my heart stop and an overwhelming sense of dread settle in my stomach.

“Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife”

Time had slowed. Everything was happening in slow motion. I could hear the applause, and I saw when he slipped that ring onto her finger, and she leapt into his arms their mouths meeting for a hurried kiss. I was vaguely aware of champagne glasses being handed out, but everything seemed like it was happening in slow motion. Was I even breathing? Were my legs still under me? Was my heart still beating? I was aware that the answer to all the above was yes.

Yes.

The thoughts all rushed though my head at once, and I was quickly spiraling; my breathing becoming uneven, my heart beating rapidly.

She had said yes.

They were engaged.

My mate was engaged.

Where was Lucien?

Was he alright?

Was he still breathing?

I was going to tell him.

I can’t tell him now.

They are going to get married.

I felt someone come up behind me, the smell of crackling flames and cinnamon flooding my senses. “breathe” he said softly into my ear. “Take a deep breath, you are going to be alright. I’m here- I am here with you” I feel his hand rubbing small circles on my back. I managed to lock eyes with Feyre who gave me a sad look, the same look was plastered on Nesta’s face, and on Cassian’s and if I looked at Rhysand, I could guarantee that his face would have the same look of sympathy. All I can focus on is the soft presence of Lucien’s hand on my back, and the gentleness of his voice as he attempts to ground me.

“I’m alright” I whisper back to him “I’m okay” I don’t know if it’s to calm Lucien of myself, I grasp his hand in mine a silent offering of support as this must be just as hard for him to witness. Lucien leans in again “I am so sorry y/n, but the bond makes males incredibly territorial, and I can’t watch this without wanting to kill him. I have to go” I give him a solemn nod “I’ll write to you” he promises before disappearing completely.

--------------------------------------------------

I don’t really remember getting up here, I just knew I needed to leave that room. The congratulations and the joy was beginning to suffocate me. I grabbed the small gift I had intended to give him and I made my way to the one place that felt grounding: the roof.

I made my way to the edge, seating myself on the railing as I let the events of the evening replay in my mind. Engaged. Cauldron boil me what was I going to do, if I tell him, he will probably resent me for ruining his happiness with Elain but if I don’t and the bond snaps for him what will he think then? Would he tell me? I am so lost in thought that I don’t notice the swirling darkness making its way to me until I feel the gentle caress of Azriel’s shadows on my arms. Fuck me. In my haste to get away I had completely forgotten about our meeting up here after gifts. I decided I needed to be the first to speak.

“Well, I guess a congratulations are in order” I say plastering a smile on my face and hoping that he can’t tell it doesn’t reach my eyes as I turn to face him.

“Thanks, y/n” he says bringing a hand to rub the back of his neck

“I’m happy for you both Az. Elain is…great”

“I wasn’t expecting this thing between us to become so real, it just came out of nowhere” the smile on his face doesn’t falter once as he talks about her. I can’t help but wonder what that must be like. “I never thought I would marry, unless I found my mate, but after the war and after what almost happened to Feyre with Nyx, I realized that life was meant to be lived, that maybe I was holding back.”

“You deserve all the happiness in the world Az” I say, “but can I ask you something?”

“Anything y/n”

“What if one day you did find your mate? What if one day out of the blue the mating bond just snapped into place? What would you do then?”

“I guess in that scenario, I would want to know her. I think I would owe her at least that. I would hope that she would want to know me before making any decisions. I mean mates are rare to have a mating bond is supposed to be unlike any experience in this world” he said

He had no idea. I thought to myself.

“What about Elain in this hypothetical situation”

“I would tell Elain about her and hope that she would understand and respect my decision. After all, I would never object to her getting to know Lucien and have tried pushing her to spend time with him, to make sure she has explored all her options before just rejecting the bond”

“What happens if the bond is rejected?” I ask

“Why the sudden curiosity about all this y/n?”

“I guess I just never learned about all of this, it’s all still so new to me. I mean I was raised in a temple remember? and while the priestesses were in no means celibate. Mates and mating bonds were not a part of the curriculum.”

“Point taken” he raises his hands in a playful surrender as he continues “Well, from my understanding if the bond is rejected. The male will go mad, and the female doesn’t come out of it unscathed either. There isn’t much known really about rejected bonds because we hold mates to such a high standard. It’s the most precious thing to us besides children. I mean from what I have seen and read about it; mates are your perfect equal in every way. The other half of your soul. Some tales even attribute them to the beginning of time, believing that when the mother spilled the contents of the cauldron to create our world and when she created us, the fae and the Illyrians, she made them of the same soul splitting it in two thus forever giving us the gift of finding our other half.”

“Do you believe that?” I asked

“I did…for a long time.” He replied

“What happened to make you stop believing?”

“I guess it was Cassian and Rhys. Seeing them, my brothers, find their mates who turned out to be sisters was so unbelievable. Then to find out there was a third sister, I must admit I had hoped that Elain would turn out to be my mate. I mean three sisters for three brothers; it made sense to me. I guess the cauldron had other plans.” He took a breath before continuing “When Elain came out of the cauldron in Hybern and Lucien- when Lucien realized that she was his mate. It was when I knew, that finding my mate was never going to happen for me.”

I nodded along as he spoke, suddenly not trusting myself to not reveal the bond. Especially when he was looking at me like that, it was like his hazel eyes were peering into my soul melting me from the inside out.

“By the way, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

I suddenly feel a pang of panic in my chest. “Oh! Right! I just wanted to” I quickly run through the things I can say before settling on “to give you your solstice gift in private. I know how you can be with people” I said summoning the package from behind me.

He gently took it from my hands, tearing the festive paper and opening the box that contained the gloves I had gotten from the strange hidden shop. He gave them a quizzical look for a moment before slowly folding them over in his hands studying the material.

“They are woven with spidersilk” I said, “so they can’t be torn, ripped, or cut with any blade, and they are charmed to not only fit the wearer perfectly but also to withstand the elements.”

He remained silent, just looking at them. I began to feel nauseous the longer he remained quiet. “I know how you feel about your hands, about your- about your scars and I thought that new gloves might help. Also, they would keep you safe because apparently spidersilk is rare and the most protective material in existence and they won’t be slick when it rains, and they are fireproof so-”

“I got you something too” he said cutting off my rambling by summoning a box from his shadows. I was frozen for a moment, before reaching out and delicately taking the box from his hands. I slowly untie the bow closing the box as I remove the decorative paper. I open the box to reveal a dagger. A beautiful dagger. It was simple steel, but the blade seemed to glow like it was made of the moonlight, the pommel had a dark purple crystal set inside of it and the grip felt perfect in my hand like it was made for me. “I had Nesta help as it was being forged, so it is a sister to Ataraxia and imbued with her magic, you’ll have to give it a name all powerful weapons have names” he said as I stared at the gift, silver lining my eyes at the generosity from the male beside me.

“I’ll have to think of one suitable for it” I said softly “Thank you Az, I don’t- I don’t know what to say”

He pulls me into a gentle embrace, I can’t help but feel calm as his familiar scent of night-chilled mist and cedar envelops me. “I should get back downstairs” he says softly “Mor wants to go to Rita’s for celebratory drinks and dancing” I nod at his words “Thank you for the gift y/n, it means more to me than I can express” His shadows envelop him as he winnows back to the party, back to his fiancée.

After taking a moment to compose myself, I make my way back downstairs to the party. As I enter Feyre’s eyes meet mine and I shake my head gesturing “no” to the high lady. She gives me a shallow nod understanding that I couldn’t tell Az. Mor pulls me into an enthusiastic hug and announces they are leaving to Rita’s and invites me along. I gave her a poor excuse that I had too much to drink and had a headache. She gave me a sad look but didn’t push me to join them, perhaps she too knew all about my predicament and like the others was giving me space to process the night.

Once they left and the house was quiet, I returned to my bedroom closing the door softly behind me and press my back against it; my legs gave out and I slide down the door, pulling my knees to my chest and stare at the dagger Az had gifted me.

“What am I going to name you” I mutter to the dagger running through various words in the old language and suddenly remember one that means to be calm and unworried, to have a sense of quietness, and to be still. All things that I need in my life right now.

“Iremia” I say to the dagger, it seems to glow in the light at its new name. “I'll name you Iremia”

Next Chapter ->

--------------------------------------------------

If you want to be added to my taglist let me know!

--------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @moonfawnx @we-were-beautiful @96jnie @frgman-sins @fromdelos @qtljs @goldentournesol @ruler-of-hades @mrs-azriel @feyretopia @starlit-terror @daily-dose-of-sass @mulansaucey @owllover123 @redbleedingrose @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @luna-1-3-5 @marigold-morelli @topaz125 @aelinismyqueen @elizarikaallen @clueless-gold @starrstrucked @em---r @snoopythemaincoon @satellitesunshine @bankerfrog @strawbwebbie @morks-watermelon @kristalhi @lolabell0556 @intrxde @aubreylovesthegames @xxoverthinkerxx @caosfanblr @mis-lil-red @haswellington @wolfyland07 @answer-the-sirens @kaz-2y567 @marsssaturn @judig92

#azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #lucien x reader #cassian x nesta #feyre x rhysand #acotar fanfiction #elain x azriel #acotar fanfic #acotar series #helion #bookish-whore

774 notes · View notes

nikethestatue · 2 months

Note

Spoilers for HOFAS Walmart bonus chapter.

I just finished reading HOFAS and the Walmart bonus chapter, and Az has a specific line:

“Nesta beheaded the King of Hybern herself.”

I’ve seen some anti-elriels using this as proof that Az doesn’t respect Elain. I wanted your perspective on this line (if you’ve read the book/bonus chapter.)

My interpretation was that by saying “Nesta beheaded the King...” Az is actually crediting Elain with the kill while protecting her identity.

Az could have easily said that Nesta “killed the King,” or “slayed the King.” But he says “beheaded.” This word choice seems intentional, to me.

1. We know that Az doesn’t trust Bryce—even though they’re having a fun moment in the bonus chapter. Ultimately though, he considers Bryce a potential enemy who could threaten his planet. And we see throughout the first part of HOFAS that he’s withholding lots of information from Bryce—including all mentions of Elain. And Bryce doesn’t even know Elain exists because she wasn’t at the house at the end of CC2.

2. Az has also learned that the Asteri—the Daglan—are still alive and could prove a threat to Prythian. Elain killed the King of Hybern, and she has powers still unexplored. The Asteri could potentially view her as someone to control and use. Or they might view her as a threat to be killed.

All that to say, I don’t think Az was discrediting Elain. I think he was trying to hide her identity from Bryce since he doesn’t trust her, and he was trying to protect her from unwanted attention, such as attention from the Asteri/Daglan.

Anyway, I was wondering what your interpretation was. :)

I basically agree with you completely.

Throughout their time together, Azriel kept hissing at Nesta, not to divulge unnecessary info. Or any info. I think it's in his nature to not ever speak in general, let alone to someone he considers an enemy. I think Rhys also ordered him not to divulge any info.

He didnt even want Nesta to be talking about the war itself, let alone any of the particulars! It's not like he went 'oh, and then, Feyre and Rhys reforged the cauldron! But then Rhys died. But then he was brought back to life. And then Amren was also dead, but we pulled her out of the Cauldron."

He never mentioned anything even about the people that Bryce met, let alone those she didn't. And yes, Elain is a full-powered, Cauldron Made being--why would he ever mention her to Bryce? She is already annoying him with all the questions.

I mean, he just learned that the Asteri/Daglan are harvesting fae for power. Why would he ever tell anyone about how much power his Court has, and who has that power. Like his Court has 3 Trove Objects, 2 Made sisters, one sister with the powers of all 7 High Lords, and the most powerful High Lord in history, plus two most powerful Illyrians. And then there is also Mor and Amren.

He is not going to fill out a ledger documenting all the powers for Bryce.

I think the fact that he didnt actually mention Elain speaks of him protecting her. Not disclosing anything about her to this stranger.

28 notes · View notes

acourtofthought · 3 months

Note

i used to think elain’s book could be coming next but i don’t see that happening anymore… after hofas (i’ve read it already) and all the bonus scenes, i don’t see her and lucien playing an important role in the foreseeable future. it’s very clear to me that az will be the next protagonist. what do you think?

ps.: i love you blog! thank you for bringing so much joy for us eluciens 💖

And you are not alone as I know many feel that way!

As there will be minor spoilers for HOFAS, I'll add the rest below.

But let me ask you, after reading the crossover and the bonus scenes in HOFAS.....what would Az's story be? What would Gwyn's story be? Outside of what SJM already introduced in SF? (Because we know their story will eventually deal with the Illyrians, the Valkyrie, maybe Merrill).

Because there is nothing that HOFAS really and truly tells us with any sort of certainty what would happen in his book, the details are still a bit fuzzy, a lot less fuzzy than what an Elucien book would handle.

At the end of HOFAS, there were no new pressing threats that we know of that were introduced to the world of Prythian. There could be possible threats.....there's a few loose threads that she could create a storyline out of, but what was really left for Az to resolve?

In the crossover we learned who Truth Teller once belonged to so of course we'll eventually discover how Az came to have it. But is that really any different than us knowing that Elain hasn't full explored her powers or Lucien isn't currently aware that Helion is his father?

In the bonus, we learned that Az likes "club" music. But is that any different than us already knowing Elain and Lucien love being outside in nature, that Lucien once enjoyed reading for pleasure or that Elain loves gardening and baking?

We learned Az feels strongly about his mother but Lucien hasn't been able to see his mother in centuries since book 1.

We learned he was still a bit moody over not having a mating bond but how is that any different from the disappointment and longing Lucien had on his face near the end of SF?

I think there's a chance that SJM will set up the Prison lands to become the lands of the Valkyrie but does that seem realistic that something that major would happen 3 months after SF when Gwyn wasn't sure she'd leave for Nesta's mating ceremony? When the Valkyrie really only consist of three females right now who haven't even had battle training which Cassian said could take years? When setting up the Prison as Valkyrie territory is not necessarily more important than the threats the rest of their world is facing?

So what important role would Az be playing in the very next book when we don't even know exactly what role is needed for the next ACOTAR book as it relates to the crossover? Especially when CC3 is not ACOTAR. On her website, she does not tell readers they need to read CC before reading the ACOTAR series.

Try to pretend that you know nothing of CC3 and focus on where things left off in SF because not every reader is in this fandom and not every reader of ACOTAR will have read CC. I personally only know two people (in my day to day life) who have read the ACOTAR series, one also read TOG but did not read CC and the other has not read either CC or TOG. So they have no idea about bonus chapters or crossovers or anything of the sort.

The problems that were threatening their world at the end of SF were Beron, Koschei, the treaty, Spring being a weakened target and the IC needing the Spring Courts forces, Vassa being called back. The Illyrians weren't even a big deal at the end when you consider Gwyn and Emerie were laughing about them being mad (no one was laughing over Beron, Koschei, Tamlin).

Who is connected to those storylines? I don't think it can be denied that Elain and Lucien were heavily tied to them in SF.

The entirety of CC3 probably took place 3-5 months after the events of SF so how is Lucien not connected to the problems in Prythian when by the end of CC3, as far as we know, the problems in Prythian are still Beron, Koschei, the treaty (and so on)? Koschei and Beron are the current threats, not the threats of the foreseeable future. Eris literally said his father is angry about his ally being killed and wants to ally with Koschei. Cassian tells us that army's usually don't move in winter but now Spring has come to their lands. The IC permanently stationed Lucien in Spring because of their worries about Tamlin's state of mind.

And those problems all exist outside the NC so if Nesta, Az, Rhys, Cassian, etc. were dealing with Bryce once she landed, then isn't it possible they were able to do so because Lucien and Elain are / were already dealing with the rest?

Elain never once showed up in CC3. We even had mentions of Feyre, "when Feyre gets here", "when Feyre hears of this". But nothing of Elain so wouldn't it make more sense for SJM to start the next book filling in the blanks on where she was and why she was completely absent? Why Mor was completely absent (when you consider at the end of SF, Mor had headed back to the continent for the treaty)?

It feels a bit like people are thinking that just because SJM introduced the possibility of new issues for the members of the IC, what happened in SF no longer matters but I feel that couldn't be farther from the truth. The possibility of new issues doesn't erase the issues that were left unresolved in SF and to me, it would make more sense if she began the next ACOTAR book dealing with the issues ACOTAR readers were left with and not jumping right into something she only recently introduced in a different series. Especially when we don't know if the crossover was supposed to set up for the very next ACOTAR book and if SJM plans on tying Koschei into time travel stuff or if it was simply setting up for what comes after Elucien deals with Spring, Beron, Vassa, Koschei and there is going to be a threat from outside their world after his defeat. But.....it's still anyones guess though I think Elucien is still hanging in there for getting the next book.

#elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #pro elucien #pro lucien vanserra #pro elain archeron

24 notes · View notes

wingedblooms · 1 year

Note

First off - I love your blog. The way you connect things for Elain/Elriel is *chef's kiss*. I've been rereading ACOTAR and came across something that might be useful for your theories (or maybe not at all but is, at the very least, interesting or maybe is completely dumb and irrelevant lol). This is also long... so sorry.

In ACOFAS chp. 24, Mor talks about "Rhys's request." She states "her blood called to her" and told her to "Go on the wind." Seems a little witchy to me. Especially because of how she describes witches at the Illyrian war camp.

Now what is VERY interesting happens a few lines down: "She had not mentioned it these past few days in Velaris." At first, it's easy to assume that she's talking about "Rhys's request", but as I'll explain I don't believe this is true. Next: "She knew Azriel would say no, would want her safe. As he had always done." This literally cannot be related to her traveling to the continent for Rhys. In chp. 14 of ACOFAS, we have Rhys's POV and he's talking to Mor. Talking to himself, he says "I debated asking her if she wished to know where AZRIEL AND I THOUGHT she might fo first." Clearly, Azriel is aware of Rhys's plan. This would not be news to Azriel and would not "cast a shadow."

Back to ACOFAS 24, "Cassian would have said yes, Amren with him, and Feyre would have worried but agreed. Az would have been pissed and withdrawn even further into himself. She hadn't wanted to take his joy away from him. Anymore than she already did. "

I think whatever decision she is trying to make has to do with Elain. I don't have a lot to back this up off the top of my head tbh, but Mor's mention of "joy" sticks out to me. We know earlier in ACOFAS, Azriel laughed a very "joyous" laugh. We also know that since that night, he has kept Elain's present to him on his nightstand at the HoW to look at every night. I don't think this is a coincidence. ACOWAR thru ACOSF provides plenty of instances that showcases Azriel's protection of Elain, as you know. Also, the fact that she thinks "Cassian would have said yes" sticks out to me. ACOSF shows that Cassian doesn't want Nesta involved with the trove and goes all alphahole when Azriel says Elain shouldn't mess with it because it would mean Nesta would have to. Cassian agreeing to Elain going with Mor somewhere would mean Nesta wouldn't have to.

What's weird is no mention of Rhys here... which suggests to me that he already knows what's going on with Mor. My thinking is whatever decision she is trying to make has to do with the hissing she shut out a few lines up in the same ACOFAS chapter, as this discussion occurs right after that. It makes me wonder if Elain is somehow involved with that hissing, too...

Finally, "But she'd have to tell them, regardless of what she decided, at some point." This means there are 2 things at work here: 1) the "news" and 2) her decision (which cannot be about going to the continent).

I realize this might make no sense but have you noticed this? Am I overanalyzing? Probably lol. But what could this be about??

Thank you so much for sending this intriguing ask! I’ve been taking a break from tumblr due to a bunch of life stuff, so I greatly appreciate your patience. Your ask inspired me to go back and review these sections before responding and after rereading, I do think the sections you highlighted are focused on Mor and her mission on the continent. BUT, they helped me notice an interesting parallel between Mor and Elain that aligned with something I had in the (at this point, endless) drafts, so please read on.

Warning: spoilers for all three series—TOG, CC, and ACOTAR—are below.

I’ll start with Hewn City, which (in part) seems to motivate Mor to accept Rhys’s request. HC has a different kind of darkness than Velaris. It is described as eternal, rotting, and smothering, and it withers all life. (No wonder those families are eager to get out of there. 😅)

There was no light in this place. There never had been. Even the evergreen garlands, holly wreaths, and crackling birchwood fires in honor of the Solstice couldn’t pierce the eternal darkness that dwelled in the Hewn City.

It was not the sort of darkness that Mor had come to love in Velaris, the sort of darkness that was as much a part of Rhys as his blood.

It was the darkness of rotting things, of decay. The smothering darkness that withered all life. (acofas)

I was struck by this language because it reminded me of Elain’s black dress in HC—the unflattering dress that seems to suck the life from her. But in Velaris? Elain is a curvy, glowing goddess wrapped in amethyst velvet. Is it possible that Elain, like Mor, is bound for adventures beyond HC? Or is Sarah setting us up for one of her infamous contradictions?

With scaled beasts of stone and sneering courtiers, HC is also associated with hissing (we’ll circle back to this when we get to the parts you referred to).

And the golden-haired male standing before her in the throne room, amongst the towering pillars carved with those scaled, slithering beasts—he had been created from it. Thrived in it.

The sneering tone. She could still hear the hissed insults beneath it, whispered long ago in her family’s private suite, whispered at every meeting and gathering when her cousin was not present. Half-breed monstrosity. A disgrace to the bloodline. (acofas)

Even though she was born and raised in this smothering darkness, Mor is eager to escape it. And like everyone else in the IC, she dons a mask of cruelty when she is there. She is never able to be herself there.

The words came out of her without thought. And her voice, the voice she used here … Not her own. Never her own, never down here with them in the darkness. Mor kept her voice just as cold and unforgiving as she corrected, “To what do we owe this pleasure, High Lord.”

This mask is something she is accustomed to now, but we have a hint that it did not come as easily to her as it did for Feyre. The fated High Lady of the Night Court became the mistress of HC with far more ease:

Feyre had fallen into the role of mistress of this horrible city with far more ease than she had. Clad in a sparkling onyx gown, the crescent-moon diadem atop her head, her friend looked every part the imperious ruler. As much a part of this place as the twining, serpentine beasts carved and etched everywhere. What Keir, perhaps, had one day pictured for Mor herself.

It’s also not surprising that Lady Death dominated her first event in the rotting darkness of HC. But the third sister? Like Mor, Cassian indicates that the cruelty of HC bothers Elain. And yet she still insists on going and supporting her family. She dons the equivalent of a black grandma dress and Cassian thinks about how it sucks the light and life out of her…much like the darkness of Hewn City, withering all life.

Mor used to enjoy her role (punishing Rhys’s detractors, especially her family) in HC, but we start to see that change in acowar when her father and Eris grow closer. Then in acofas, their solstice meeting triggers one of her most traumatic memories, possibly because Eris wears the same mask of indifference now as he did then:

Eris wasn’t fazed. Nothing had ever disturbed him, ruffled him. Mor had hated it from the moment she’d met him—that distance, that coldness. That lack of interest or feeling for the world. “Then I would suggest to you, High Lord, that you speak to your dear friend Tamlin about it.”

And like the hissing insults of HC, he is also compared to a serpent.

Eris’s mouth curved in an adder’s smile. “Because Tamlin’s territory is the only one that borders the human lands. I’d think that anyone looking to expand would have to go through the Spring Court first. Or at least obtain his permission.”

While Sarah has hinted that Eris is more complex than what we have been led to believe (we know there is a reason for his behavior), he and his court seem to be as cold and cruel as HC, rotting beneath a beautiful veneer:

Warm, buttery sunlight through the leaves, setting them glowing like rubies and citrines. The damp, earthen scent of rotting things beneath the leaves and roots she lay upon. Had been thrown and left upon.

A pale, beautiful face appeared above her, blocking out the jewel-like leaves above. Unmoved. Impassive. “I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.”

She would rather die here, bleed out here. She would rather die and return—return as something wicked and cruel, and shred them all apart.

He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.”

She wished she could grow claws—grow claws as Rhys could—and rip out that pale throat. But that was not her gift. Her gift…her gift had left her here. Broken and bleeding. (acofas)

Eris’ behavior makes Mor wish to become a monster, like the clawed monsters lurking just beneath the skin of the High Lords. It is also reminiscent of witches, who (as we learned from Cassian) become something other—something cold and wretched. In Erilea, ironteeth witches grow iron teeth and claws, and are known for ripping out throats. Mor specifically wished for claws that can rip out throats…but that was not her gift. Six chapters later, Elain asks about changing form, and in the next book, her sisters note how she seemed to grow claws…

“Look who decided to grow claws after all,” she crooned. “Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.” (acosf)

And showed some teeth…

“Elain showed some teeth,” I observed. “I wasn’t expecting that.” (feysand bonus)

This reference to claws and teeth reminds me of a few things: court inheritance, as that is what Mor specifically compares it to in this scene; shapeshifting (1, 2); and witches (especially ironteeth witches in Erilea). It doesn’t seem to be a coincidence that we first learned about witches in the Illyrian camp, where Mor snorted and stepped aside to reveal Elain after Nesta was accused of being a witch (and of course I’m still hoping something will come of that accusation). Illyrians possess an explosive power (raw killing power that, if not controlled through siphons, can kill the wielder) like ironteeth witches, who have a combination of demon (Valg) and fae heritage. There are theories that Illyrians might have demon and fae heritage as well.

In addition to their solstice experiences in HC, and growing (metaphorical and/or actual) claws, Mor and Elain share other similarities:

golden features and warm eyes

arranged romance with an AC male (via family and/or mating bond)

embodiment of light and color

powers that uncover/verify hidden information (both respond to specific questions and weigh the words of others)

I wouldn’t be surprised if they shared another connection in the future: working as spy and courtier and ambassador to secure peace. The sections you mentioned in your ask seem to refer solely to Rhys’ request for Mor, but the more we learn about the position, the more it seems fitting for Elain as well.

“Az can infiltrate most courts, most lands. But I might need you to win those lands over.” Because the pieces that were now strewn on the table… “Treaty negotiations are dragging on too long.”

“They’re not happening at all.”

“You wouldn’t need to be gone for months. Just visits here and there. Casual.”

“Casual, but make the kingdoms and territories realize that if they push too far or enter into human lands, we’ll obliterate them?”

I huffed a laugh. “Something like that. Az has lists of the kingdoms most likely to cross the line.”

She glanced sidelong at me. “When would I need to leave?”

“Not for another few weeks, maybe a month.”

She nodded, and fell quiet. I debated asking her if she wished to know where Azriel and I thought she might go first, but her silence said enough. She’d go anywhere.

As the spymaster, Azriel gathers intel from multiple sources and uses that information to protect and serve his court. He already has a list of kingdoms on their “watch list,” and this is what Rhys seems to refer to in this scene. While he might be in possession of this list and the general strategy, Rhys often operates alone and keeps secrets from those he claims as family. It sounds like Azriel does not know that Rhys has asked Mor to carry out this mission, which is similar to him asking Cassian to step in and play spy in the Band of Exiles because Azriel is juggling a lot at the moment…but he still has time to train Valkyries? More likely, it’s hard for him to work closely with Lucien at this point given how he feels about Elain, and Rhys knows that because of his conversation about tracking Lucien’s movements in chapter 7.

Rhys offers this position to Mor because they are trying to establish lasting peace.

“You always have a choice. If you don’t want to go, then it’s fine.”

“And who would do it instead? Amren?” A knowing look. I laughed again.

“Certainly not Amren. Not if we want peace.” I added, “Just—do me a favor and take some time to think about it before you say yes. Consider it an offer, not an order.”

This position requires someone who can win others over, someone who is a peacemaker. Later, Mor describes what this position would entail:

How far away the continent seemed, Rhys’s request with it. To go, to play spy and courtier and ambassador, to see those kingdoms long closed, where friends had once dwelled … Yes, her blood called to her. Go as far and wide as you can. Go on the wind.

Mor would be playing spy and courtier and ambassador (and yes, @whysterian, I agree that go on the wind sounds very witchy 😍…it also sounds a lot like an owl). She seems eager to serve her court in this way, but as Mor thinks about the offer, the hissing voices of her past—her family, Eris—start to invade her thoughts and she shuts them out.

But to leave, to let Keir believe he had made her go with his bargain with Eris … Coward. Pathetic coward. She shut out the hissing in her head, running a hand down Ellia’s snowy mane.

We now know that Mor accepted this mission and it is not going well…

“I’ve spent weeks in that blasted court,” Mor said, poking at the flaky pastry beside her teacup, “freezing my ass off, trying to kiss their cold asses, and their king and queen refused the treaty. I came home on the earlier side today because I knew any more last-minute pushing from me would be unwelcome. My time there was supposed to be a friendly visit, after all.”

because of the human queens:

“Why won’t they sign it?”

“Because those stupid human queens are stirring—their army still isn’t disbanded. The Queen of Vallahan even asked me what the point of a peace treaty would be when another war, this time against the humans, might redraw the territory lines far below the wall. I don’t think Vallahan is interested in peace. Or allying with us.”

And who was tasked with monitoring their activities? Azriel.

Az ran a thumb down Truth-Teller’s black hilt, the silver runes on the dark scabbard shimmering in the light. “What about the human queens?”

“We continue to watch. You continue to watch.”

“Vassa knows that the Queens of the Realm will be a threat until they are dealt with,” I said at last. Another tidbit that Lucien had told us. Well, Az and me at least. “But unless the queens step out of line, it’s not for us to face. If we sweep in, even to stop them from triggering another war, we’ll be seen as conquerors, not heroes. We need the humans in other territories to trust us, if we can ever hope to achieve lasting peace.” (acofas)

But they are stirring again and he can’t tackle this issue on his own (or through the source he might usually interact with). Enter, Cassian. Rhys asks him—the last person you’d expect, who also happens to be dismissed as a loyal dog much like Elain—to play spy out in the open. They need information from a trusted source and that is no longer Lucien, their emissary who is becoming increasingly loyal to the Band of Exiles.

“Az and I have good reason to believe that the human queens are scheming again. I need you to look into it. Deal with it.” (acosf)

Rhys went on, “Azriel is juggling more than he’ll admit right now. I’m not dumping another responsibility on him. This task of yours will help him.” Rhys flashed a challenging smile. “And let us all see what you’re really made of.”

“You want me to play spy?”

“There are other ways to glean information, Cass, besides peeking through keyholes. Az isn’t a courtier. He works from the shadows. But I need someone—I need you—standing in the open.

He needs someone who can play spy in the light. Through his spying out in the open, Cassian learns that the three remaining queens have scattered to the winds:

Eris said, “I have it on good authority that the other three queens have scattered to the winds.” Cassian tucked away the information and the questions it raised. How did Eris know that? “Briallyn has been residing alone in their palace for weeks now. Long before my soldiers vanished.” (acosf)

And Koschei, the mastermind whispering on the wind, has been influencing them for quite some time.

“Why was he imprisoned?” Cassian asked. “The story is too long to tell,” she hedged. “But know that Briallyn and the others sold me to him not through their devices, but his. By words he planted in their courts, whispered on the winds.” (acosf)

Most importantly, they are still a concern at the end of Nesta’s story:

But Nesta smoothed his bunched brow, as if she could see those worries there. “Later,” she promised. “We’ll deal with all that later.” Including the remaining queens, Koschei, and a still-looming war. (acosf)

But will Mor and Cassian continue to play spy, ambassador, courtier, etc? Negotiations on the continent are proceeding poorly because of the human queens who have scattered on the winds. What does that mean for the stability of their territories? Someone will need to locate them swiftly and, at some point, convince other leaders not to claim vulnerable territories as their own. Sadly, Cassian’s efforts have yielded little information on the whereabouts of the queens. And Mor can’t seem to leave Vallahan fast enough after her latest attempt to convince their leaders to sign a treaty. Enter, Elain.

Why Elain? We know she wins over others easily (her staff adored her, and everyone and their mom wants to protect her), gets answers to her questions with ease, keeps secrets as well as the spymaster, and routinely surprises others with her stealthy appearance. She can maneuver silently in the light and among the shadows. And unlike her sister, Elain tends to be a calming presence, more of a peacemaker.

“You still can barely talk to Nesta,” I said. “Yet Elain you can talk to nicely.”

“Elain is Elain.”

“If you blame one, you have to blame the other.”

“No, I don’t. Elain is Elain,” he repeated. “Nesta is … she’s Illyrian. I mean that as a compliment, but she’s an Illyrian at heart. So there is no excuse for her behavior.” (acofas)

Illyrians were strong, proud, fearless. But peacemakers, they were not. (acofas)

And Rhys hints that, as a gardener, she is willing to get her hands dirty for a pretty result—like peace.

Cassian will likely be occupied with the Illyrians and the Valkyries. Mor, who can hold her own against any illyrian…

There was a reason she’d held her own in battle, and could hold her own against any Illyrian. My brothers and I had overseen much of the training ourselves, but she’d spent years traveling to other lands, other territories, to learn what they knew. (acofas)

…might return to Prythian and join Valkyrie training in Azriel’s place as @offtorivendell predicted in this post.

Mor grinned. “You mind if I start joining you once this business with Vallahan is over? I never got to train with the Valkyries before the first War, and after it, they were all gone.”

“I think the priestesses would like to see you,” Nesta said, and glanced to Cassian to make sure he didn’t mind. He waved a hand. (acosf)

Elain could use her powers to track down the queens (as she did with the Suriel, who traveled like the wind) in real time and play peacemaker on the continent. Spy and courtier and ambassador. This would also bring her closer to her two love interests—one a spy and the other an emissary—and heighten the tension between them. These tasks are even more important with the looming threat of the Asteri (who may be connected to Koschei, creator of chaos and influencer of human queens). Divided as their world is now, they are an even more vulnerable target.

So while I don’t think those sections are about Elain (yet), @whysterian, I do think they might foreshadow her future as a peacemaker who is more than ready to get her hands dirty.

#elain archeron #mor acotar #spy and ambassador and emissary #maasverse #hosab spoilers #tog spoilers

101 notes · View notes

theladyofbloodshed · 2 years

Text

Chapter 19 - The final chapter! Huge thank you to everybody who has read along with this fic. It's been a joy to write and I appreciate each and every person who has read it. There will be an epilogue coming soon. I hope you enjoy.

‘No.’

Cassian shook his head in disbelief. He made a scoffing noise at the back of his throat.

‘No. Absolutely not. Not fucking happening.’

He started pacing on the roof, head still shaking. His brows raised a couple of times as if talking inside his own head.

‘You love her. She loves you. I don’t understand.’

Azriel wrung his face in his hands. Hearing Cassian say those words was somehow worse. His love hadn’t been enough. He hadn’t been enough.

‘What don’t you fucking understand? All of you have made her feel so bad about herself that she’s leaving this court. She doesn’t want to come back. Whoever went to Nesta today hammered the final nail in the coffin.’ Azriel stood, shaking himself off. He wanted to set fire to Velaris. To destroy it all.

‘Who went?’

Parroting Nesta’s words, Azriel said, ‘Does it matter? You’ve all let her know what a horrible person she is enough times now. Why should she put up with it for me? This was what you wanted.’

His eyes stung from crying. His throat was hoarse. Even if Nesta was leaving, the last thing Azriel wanted now was to play happy families with the people who had broken his relationship apart. He didn’t even want to be in this court. He felt like his head was going to explode.

Cassian sensed his distress. His brother had always been one to lean on. Azriel couldn’t now. Not when it was his fault that all of this was happening.

‘I’m so sorry. Az, I’m sorry.’

The stabbing, Azriel could forgive. He’d provoked his brother, knowing his temper would snap. Wounds healed. He didn’t even remember that pain. This, however, would change Azriel irrevocably. Now he knew what love was – had been given the sweetest taste of it from a female so incredible – he wouldn’t be whole without it.

‘Nesta’s leaving – she’s ended it – because of how we’ve all treated her.’

‘Yes. It is that difficult to comprehend?’

Cassian’s dark brows lowered. The night shadowed most of his face. ‘And that’s it? You two are fine otherwise?’

‘We were perfect,’ he replied, letting out a bitter laugh. How could he forgive his family for this?

‘Let’s go.’

‘What?’

Cassian planted his feet. His wings spread out against the harsh red stone of the House of Wind. ‘To Nesta’s. This isn’t happening. I’m not having this.’

He dived towards him, hauling Azriel off of the roof with him. On instinct, his own wings flapped to right himself in the air, but Cassian was swooping down towards the Sidra. It glittered beneath the street lamps as the water churned.

‘Don’t,’ he yelled. With a struggle, he managed to catch up with Cassian then keep pace. He was flying like a hellion towards the block of apartments on the furthest fringes of the city. ‘She’s made her mind up. I’m not going to beg her.’

‘Well, I will. I’ve got no shame,’ Cassian replied. He gritted his teeth then plummeted downwards, landing with a heavy thump onto the stone.

The general charged up the stairs then knocked on the door with impatience. He rattled the handle.

‘Stop,’ Azriel demanded, pulling him away. ‘You’ll scare her. What are you doing? Leave, Cass.’

‘Where’s the key? Give me the key. That or I’ll knock the door down.’

‘You wouldn’t fucking dare do that in front of me.’

Cassian flashed him a smile but it looked more like a grimace. ‘You wouldn’t risk it.’

Reluctantly, Azriel handed over the key. If anything, it was to stop the noise that would wake the sleeping neighbours. Cassian never did learn how to be quiet.

As the door swung open, he caught sight of Nesta on the edge of her seat in the arm chair. The fire was little more than embers.

In the brief moment that their eyes locked onto each other, Nesta’s tears started up again. Her face was already red and blotchy, her eyes swollen likely from crying since they parted. Azriel couldn’t stand by and see her cry, even if she wanted nothing more to do with him.

He pushed past Cassian’s big frame and went to her, damning the consequences. He wouldn’t have her upset. Wouldn’t let her go without comfort.

Nesta pressed her face into his chest in a futile attempt to muffle her tears. Azriel turned her so his back was to Cassian. She hated anybody seeing her crying.

His hands came around her body, one hand smoothing the hair that had come loose from her braid. Without instructions, shadows twined themselves up her legs too like cats brushing against them for affection. He couldn’t bear to hear her crying. It was the worst sound he’d ever heard. Her body trembled against his.

Cassian’s steps came by as he settled himself onto the low-slung couch observing them.

Azriel readied himself for a battle here that would level the living room. He’d have to be quick to get Nesta to safety - after that, he didn’t care what happened to him.

But Cassian remained simply watching.

Nesta manage to prise her face from Azriel’s chest to look up at him. He used his thumb to wipe away the tears tracking down her cheeks. She was the best thing he’d ever had in his life. Nobody had ever understood him like her; his moods, his quiet temper, his past. He didn’t want it to end. Didn’t want to say goodbye. Azriel could feel his chest caving in as he looked at Nesta. He kissed her forehead knowing it was the last time he’d be allowed to do it.

‘It hurts like hell,’ Cassian said, rubbing a hand across his jaw. ‘But seeing that hurt worse. Seeing you cry.’

His hazel eyes flickered between them taking in their embrace, their ease amongst each other. Nesta’s fingers still clutched to his shirt, twisting the soft material around her fingertips.

‘You’re my mate. Maybe there could have been an us a long time ago if I’d been better to you, done more for you like I should have. But I don’t ever want to be responsible for tears like that, no matter who I am to you.’ His eyes moved to Azriel’s. ‘You’re my brother. How can I not want happiness for you? Worse still, how could I want this pain for both of you?’

He stood then and stretched out his arms, feigning a casual mood.

‘If it’s not me then I’m glad it’s you because you’ll love Nesta like she deserves. And I can see that you are so loved, Az. Don’t let that go – either of you.’

Nesta’s inhale was more of a gasp as she fought through her tears. ‘But I don’t want to drive a wedge between everybody. I don’t want everyone to think I’m just so spiteful that I’m doing this to be horrid. I get the blame for everything. I can’t take it anymore.’

Cassian reached for her hand and she let him have that touch even if it unsettled her. Her own hand was tiny in his. Azriel gripped her tighter, scared he might snatch her away.

‘Nes, how could anybody see you two and think it was from spite? I want your happiness. It’s not with me - and it fucking hurts, I can’t lie. But you deserve somebody like him - and if anybody has a problem with my brother’s happiness then they have to answer to me. I’m so sorry. I cannot ever say sorry enough for all the distress I’ve caused.’

He laughed then. A light thing to deflect how difficult this was for him. ‘What kind of prick would I have to be to see you both miserable and feel glad of it? You don’t want me but it doesn’t mean I have to make you both depressed. I’m not that much of a bastard.’

Nesta looked completely dumbstruck. She blinked a few times then tipped forwards against Azriel so her cheek tucked against his neck. Pain bracketed Cassian’s expression to see it, but then he clapped his hands together.

‘Don’t go to Summer. Stay here. I want you here. Both of you. You’re my brother and I can’t imagine a life without Az. And Nesta, your sisters are here. This is your home. This is our court. We stay together.’

‘We’ll always have to see each other,’ Azriel said, keeping a firm arm around Nesta’s waist to emphasise the point that he was never letting her go again - even if it hurt Cassian, she meant far more.

‘Then we’ll figure it out,’ Cassian said simply. ‘I’ll bring your things back here. I’ll gather the others and lay down the law. They won’t ever intervene again. I promise. None of them will ever make you feel unwelcome. Please don’t let love go. I’ve had to put up with Az’s moping for five hundred years. If you want that, you have him.’

‘Prick.’

Cassian clapped him on the shoulder, a slow smile edging onto his features. ‘I’m sorry I have been a prick for months. What a fucking bastard I’ve been. You should have been the one to stab me.’

‘It was tempting plenty of times.’

‘I agree,’ Nesta piped up.

Cassian sniffed then his brows raised suddenly. ‘You have a cat.’

Devlon was readying himself to pounce onto Cassian’s laces. His tail lashed from side to side and his body seemed to buzz with energy.

‘I’ve always wanted one,’ Nesta said. A weak smile flitted onto her face as the cat collided with Cassian’s shoe.

Cassian let out a gasp and clutched his chest in horror. ‘It would never have worked. I’m allergic. I’ll be sneezing for the next week.’

‘A good deterrent to stop you coming here and eating all of our food like you do at Rhys’ house.’

They stood quietly for a moment with only the sounds of cat attacking Cassian’s shoes filling the silence.

Then, surprising both of them, Nesta embraced Cassian.

‘Thank you.’

He swallowed then let out a breath. ‘I don’t ever want either of you crying again. Ever. Whoever says shit to you can deal with me from now on.’

***

‘There better be a good fucking reason to be dragging us all out of bed as this time,’ Mor grumbled, tightening her dressing gown around her waist.

Cassian had gathered them all in the living room of the River House. A few lamps had been lit but it was the middle of the night so the rest of Velaris was slumbering. He’d nearly kicked in Rhys’ door when he hadn’t answered – and received a full view of the high lord and lady naked in bed, asleep when he pushed it open instead.

Elain patted the space beside her for Mor to settle on. There were bloodshot, tired eyes all round, but this couldn’t wait until morning. Cassian needed to fix this mistake now.

‘Who went to Nesta today?’

Feyre let out a long yawn then burrowed closer to Rhys in the chair.

‘Who went to Nesta today?’ Cassian repeated, voice hard and unyielding.

‘Nobody did, why would I want to have her chasing me with silver fire again?’

Cassian sucked in a breath. ‘Because somebody did. And Nesta decided she couldn’t take being treated poorly anymore. She wants to move to the Summer Court.’

‘Azriel would go with her,’ Mor gasped.

‘No. She knows what it would mean for him to leave us so she broke it off.’ Cassian was utterly ashamed of himself that he’d let this carry on for months. There was no hope in hell for him and Nesta. He’d known all along that he’d blown his chance after the war, but the thought of another male loving her better than he could had incensed him. But Azriel? Azriel never gave his heart away easily. He should have known from the start that Azriel would love Nesta like no other. ‘I’ve just had Azriel sobbing on the roof. I never ever want to see either of them crying like that. We drove them apart. Fucking hell, why wouldn’t we want them to be happy? Az has been through enough. Nesta too.’

‘I did tell you that,’ Rhys drawled.

Cassian took in a steadying breath. ‘I want to sever the bond. I love Azriel more. I want my brother to be loved. If you can’t accept my decision on this then kindly fuck off. We’ve put them through hell for no fucking reason.’ Another breath in. Another breath out. ‘I’ll ask one more time. Who went to Nesta today?’

His gaze fell to Mor who made a noise of outrage and tossed off her blanket. ‘It wasn’t me. Why the fuck do you think I’d seek her out?’

‘It was me,’ Amren declared from the doorway.

Mor said things in passion. Elain did what she thought was for the best, Feyre too. There was a callous, ruthless streak in Amren. Cassian dreaded what she might have said to Nesta. They all awaited her words. She folded her arms then exhaled.

‘I merely reminded Nesta that Azriel would follow her wherever she went and what might happen to him if certain courts got their hands on him.’

‘So, you terrified her?’ Feyre asked incredulously. ‘After Cassian had just stabbed him.’

Cassian burned with chagrin at his mistake.

‘I have this court’s best interests at heart. Without Azriel, Illyria will destabilise. We would be severely disadvantaged without our spy master.’

Elain blinked at Amren. ‘But Nesta wouldn’t want to leave Azriel’s side if she worried about his safety.’

‘What else did you say?’ Mor questioned.

‘The only times you have been apart for Starfall were when you were Under the Mountain, Rhysand, and because of Nesta.’

Feyre’s face went white. ‘Tell me you didn’t.’

Amren held firm, arms crossed and jaw set.

‘You compared me to Tamlin when I wouldn’t use my sisters,’ Feyre said, pointing a shaking finger at Amren. ‘Tell me you did not compare my sister to Amarantha. To the female that killed me.’

‘Both succeeded in tearing apart this court. I hoped Nesta would make the right decision and rectify it.’

A sickness settled in Cassian’s gut. What an unbearably cruel thing to say to anybody, least of all Nesta. Amarantha’s cruelty was well known throughout Prythian before she’d ever seized control of it. The things she did could turn even his stomach. And Rhysand had endured fifty years beside her to protect all of them. Rhys had come over pale in shock.

‘Out.’ The voice was quiet but rang with authority. He rose to his feet, magic swarming his hands, the likes of which threatened to devour galaxies. ‘Get out of my court. Don’t come back. Get out before I kill you.’

Mor scrambled to her feet to winnow Amren away; a small pity she could offer.

Feyre wrapped an arm around Rhys, but he pulled free. ‘Go to bed. I need time.’

The hurt was clear on Feyre’s face, but she obeyed her mate. She tugged Elain to her feet and the sisters headed back to bed though Cassian knew that Feyre would force herself to stay awake until Rhys joined her.

Rhys pushed back his black hair, shaking his head in disbelief. He let out a slow laugh. ‘I’ve always been glad for Amren’s savagery. Not when it hurts me though.’

The few details that Rhys had ever let slip about those terrible fifty years were not good. He guarded that time. They didn’t need to know everything he’d done for them. Like him, Rhys would do whatever he could to keep Velaris safe.

‘I can’t believe she compared Nesta to Amarantha,’ he murmured, rubbing his jaw. ‘Fucking despicable behaviour – and all because Az didn’t come to Starfall. He only ever shows up for an hour or two usually anyway.’

If it wasn’t the middle of the night, Cassian might have invited Rhys to go and spar with him. From the expression of the high lord, Cassian knew whatever occurred Under the Mountain still weighed on Rhys and likely would for a long, long time.

‘I never saw Starfall for fifty years.’

Cassian nodded. ‘I know.’

‘No. She knew what it was. Knew what it meant to me. I had to service her all night. Amren really fucking made Nesta feel like she was that bitch?’

It was all made worse with that knowledge. Amren – like him – wasn’t to know that Rhys’ Starfalls had been that way. But it didn’t make her words any better. She had gone to Nesta with one intention and had succeeded.

Rhys shook himself away from those memories. ‘Az and Nesta?’

‘I dumped his stuff back at her doors and locked them in. I think they’ll be alright.’

‘And you?’

‘About as good as you feel right now.’ Cassian poured them both a drink of whiskey. He’d necked his back before Rhys had even raised his glass. ‘We wouldn’t have worked. I know that. But the thought of Nesta being with another male… It hurts and makes me angry still, but it’s Az, Rhys. I can’t imagine anyone who would love a female like he would. I know that Nesta will be loved and he won’t ever hurt her like another male might. You should have seen him on that roof. It was like when he first came to your house. I couldn't see him like that again.’

‘You’re doing a noble thing, Cass. It’s not easy for you. We all deserve to find our happiness.’

Cassian scratched his neck, wings tucking in tight. ‘Just wish I wasn’t such an asshole and nearly ruined it for both of them.’

***

A different side of Cassian had emerged. Azriel refused to talk about what had happened between them when he’d returned to the House of Wind. Nesta wouldn’t pry. Not everything needed to be shared. Nobody had been bruised or bloodied. Nobody had been stabbed either. She’d leave their conversation in the dark. The general insisted that he wanted to have a conversation with the rest of the inner circle to ensure they were all on the same page. It couldn’t have been easy for him to admit defeat. But he had. He had conceded to Azriel. It had been months of pain and sneaking and light stepping but with Cassian’s approval, everything felt better. They no longer felt like an illicit affair. They walked the streets of Velaris easier without a shadow looming over them.

They vowed to each other that they would not be parted again. The pessure put on Nesta had been to much, but Azriel would help her to carry it. And hopefully, that pressure would never come again.

A dinner had been held on the first good evening of Spring. Not a single person made one derisive comment towards them. Cassian had been cracking jokes endlessly seemingly unbothered by their proximity to him. Out of respect, Nesta and Azriel didn’t put on the same public displays as Feyre and Rhys were fond of doing. It wasn't either of them anyway. They were content with linked fingers in public.

Nobody commented on Amren’s absence except Azriel – from the tight expressions of the others, what she had said to Nesta was known to them. If Azriel knew then Amren would likely be hunted him by him, not just for what those words had done to Nesta but what they had likely done to Feyre and Rhys too. Maybe one day she’d be back, but for now, it seemed that Amren was holed up in the Summer Court with Varian despite her dislike of hot weather.

The dinner was as nice as it could possibly be. Nesta tried as hard as she could to be more than civil with Cassian, exchanging the odd laugh and trying not to argue with him when he made a stupid comment.

Azriel was tense through it all though, on edge that another cruel comment might come their way, but Mor held her tongue throughout. He was reluctant to spend any significant amount of time with his family, still jaded by their behaviour. He did his role still, but socialising was kept to a minimum. Shadows flickered around him during the main course as a sign of his growing anxiety, but they had a brief reprise when Nesta’s nose bled at the dinner table.

‘That’s the second time this week,’ Azriel murmured as he handed her another wad of tissue. He perched on the edge of the bath while she sat on the closed-lidded toilet.

‘You seemed uncomfortable. This was all planned to give you a break.’

Nesta peeled the tissue away but the blood still came.

‘Pinch the bridge harder.’

‘You want to go home?’

It was usually the other way round with Azriel offering Nesta an out. It would take Azriel a long time to forgive them fully – but it was their own mistake that his loyalty had slipped. ‘I can manage another hour.’

‘Ice cream by the Sidra on the way?’

Azriel mussed up her hair. ‘Whatever you want.’

When the day came for the bond to be severed weeks later, nobody tried to talk Nesta out of it. There were no suggestions of Cassian losing his mind or that she was cruel beyond belief. Whatever Cassian had said, made them hold their tongues. It annoyed her that they hadn’t listened to Azriel - or her - but at least they stopped interfering now.

It was a private affair - and remarkably casual. In the large lounge of the House of Wind, Helion had been welcomed in. The wraiths had laid out a spread of food as if it were a party so Nesta nibbled on a wedge of cheese while the high lord explained the process. Cassian sat on her right, his leg jiggling with anticipation. It was an energy that made her nervous as a result. On her left, Azriel held her free hand. The shadow singer remained as a statue, calming and stoic.

Whilst the others had wanted to be present, Cassian had said it wasn’t their business and waved them off. They listened. She was thankful for that. It was a kindness that she would not have asked for.

‘We are certain? I can’t reverse it once I sever it.’

Azriel stiffened beside her. He’d never pushed her into this, had let her lead and choose her own path. Nesta was choosing him. She tightened her grip a fraction of an inch on his fingers. There was no other for her. They would never be parted again.

‘Get it over with Helion and I’ll take you to Rita’s tonight. I’ll be your wing male.’

Helion tossed Cassian a charming wink. He had explained to them that he’d have to tease out the bond in order for it to be broken. They remained frozen while Helion spoke to his magic. It curled around them in a faint wisp like a cloud that grow thicker with each passing second then Nesta felt it. A bond tying her to Cassian. There was no doubt now that they were mates. She could feel him on the other end, his sorrow and distress that it was about to break. Nesta could hardly bear it. She gripped Azriel’s hand tighter, needing to reassure herself that this was the right thing.

And then it was gone.

A strange coldness washed over Nesta. She groped for that bond that had twined between them, finding it completely absent. Not as if it had never been there, but as if there was a hole in the ground where a tree had been ripped free. A missing tooth in a gum that her tongue still searched for. A scale from a fish that had scraped away.

From the corner of her eye, Nesta noticed that Cassian looked pale and drawn. Bonds affected males more for a reason that had never been explained. Nesta knew the others would rally around him at least with a wild night at Rita’s planned to soften the blow. He would be well taken care of.

‘Will you give us a moment?’

The suggestion terrified Azriel. It was a protectiveness that Nesta adored because she knew he would do anything to take care of her. She had never had to doubt his loyalty. In Cassian’s presence, she was too afraid to kiss Azriel so, again, she squeezed his fingers in reassurance.

‘I’ll be outside the room.’

Helion departed with him, slinging a bare, muscled arm around Azriel’s shoulder for good measure.

Nesta held Cassian’s hand. Her own was dwarfed by his. It was rough and calloused.

‘How do you feel?’

It was a terrible question, but Nesta didn’t know what to say otherwise. They had never really had a casual conversation. It had always been sweeping gestures of grandeur or barbed and vicious exchanges as they circled the other. There had been no middle ground for them, never a chance to be friends before anything more.

‘Awful,’ he admitted.

Nesta swallowed. This was only the beginning. In the library, there were accounts of bonds being severed and the males never did fare well - but their story was different. They would still see each other. Still have to interact. Only time would tell how that would be.

‘I’m sorry, Cassian.’

‘I lost my chance.’ His hand slid over hers as his other came to cradle it too. They locked around hers like a clam protecting a pearl. ‘I wish you both happiness. I will try to be better for both of you.’ He gave her a pointed look. ‘For all of you.’

There was a long pause where Nesta stopped breathing.

‘Does he know?’

Nesta felt heat crawl up her chest as she shook her head.

‘I could feel through the bond, Nes. How far along are you?’

‘Nearly two months.’

It was unexpected albeit their own foolish fault. When Azriel had been injured, he hadn’t taken his contraceptive tea. They’d thought nothing of it. Hadn’t realised for days. They just carried on as normal until Nesta had the odd wave of nausea then nosebleeds. She’d sought a healer at Azriel’s insistence who surprised her with the news that she was pregnant. She’d told him it had just been a viral infection, gone in a few days, while she processed it.

‘Congratulations,’ Cassian said with a gentle nudge in the rib. ‘He will be over the moon. You’re happy?’

‘I am, yes.’

Nesta was uncertain how to move forwards. She’d been intent on leaving to the Summer Court so that his family could have Azriel back and things would be good again for them. If she’d have set up a life in Summer then inevitably discovered she was pregnant, Nesta knew she couldn’t raise a child alone. She’d have sought assistance from a healer.

Now, things had shifted. They were building a future together and a baby - though early - was what Nesta had always wanted. If Azriel didn’t feel the same way then she didn’t know what they would do.

‘Please don’t tell him.’

‘Lips are sealed, sweetheart. You might want to tell him before he can scent it though.’

‘Urgh. Faeries and your senses. How long do I have?’

‘By about ten weeks the babe is usually detected.’

Maybe there would still be instincts buried in Cassian that meant he’d want to protect her rather than possess her. Protect her child too.

The idea of a baby both terrified and delighted Nesta. She’d tried not to think too much about it in case she grew attached and it wasn’t supposed to be. But she had wanted to be a mother for so long. Had dreamed of being the mother she never had for herself. Twenty-four was a perfectly acceptable age to be a mother as a mortal; in fact, her mother would be having kittens over the fact Nesta hadn’t yet wed or become a mother.

‘Will you keep it a secret?’

Cassian nodded earnestly. ‘It’s not my news to share. I promise you, I will be better.’

***

Nesta was subdued following the severance of the bond. Azriel wasn’t sure what he’d expected really, perhaps something visual to signify it truly being broken. For him, he’d seen and felt nothing. At one point, Nesta’s hand had gripped his painfully tight and her face had gone slack then minutes later Helion announced it was done.

Did she regret it already? Nesta had chosen him over a bond blessed by the Cauldron. All he could offer was his heart though that wasn’t always good or whole.

Suggestions of visiting the tavern that evening were squashed. Nowhere that he offered did she want to go to – not even to see his mother - so Azriel winnowed into the city to bring back mountains of cake and pastries for Nesta instead. It raised a small smile and she departed the bedroom to join him in the living room. Devlon greeted Nesta with a leap onto her lap, a tail swish in her face, then skittered away after a shadow.

‘Do you want to talk about what happened at the House of Wind?’

‘No.’

He’d offered her the choice and had to respect it even if his own insecurities were catching fire within.

‘You’re not hurt or regretting it?’

Regretting me, he wanted to ask. Cassian had an infectious joy, he was better at getting along with others. There was a confidence to him that put other males to shame. He wasn’t like Azriel with his many issues. He could manage a fire without having to bolster himself up to go near it. Cassian didn’t have a constant fear of not being good enough or not doing enough.

Nesta moved from the chair to him. A thigh came down either side of him as she settled in his lap. Grey eyes searched his face. He felt as if all of his mistakes were under examination.

‘I love you. Don’t ever doubt that.’

The following day, Azriel took Nesta to the furthest edge of the city. He’d hoped to take her after the bond had been severed, but her mood hadn’t allowed it.

A large white house stood alone amongst the trees. The owner had passed away a few years earlier so the house had sat untouched since.

Azriel showed her the garden first that was slowly coming to life in the Spring. It was overgrown in parts with weeds tangling over the path. The Sidra flowed nearby and a stream broke off from it, running through the garden. He held her hand to lead her over the little, stone bridge and show her the boundary of the garden where fruit trees were.

‘This is ours,’ he said gently.

Her mouth dropped open in surprise.

‘I thought here we could build something for you so you can read your books outside near this stream.’

Azriel led Nesta through the rooms of the house, offering his ideas of what they could do with them. The kitchen had a massive stove so they could cook together and there was space in the back door to cut a flap for Devlon to come and go. He’d enjoy terrorising the birds in the garden too.

Much of the paint needed a new coat and there were a few cracks that needed patching. She followed him up the stairs, smiling at the size of the bath that would fit both of them in comfortably.

‘And this would be our room because it’s the biggest. It looks out over the garden and you can see the mountains in the distance. But there’s a room at the front if you wanted to see the city.’

There was another bedroom that he would reserve for his mother. Azriel was certain that with enough pleading from him and Nesta that she would come to visit.

‘This room,’ he said gesturing to the one beside theirs with a curved window and a seat carved beneath it, ‘Could be a nursery in the future. If you wanted. There’s no rush. Just if, one day, we wanted a baby. The sun filters in during the evening so we could have a rocking chair to read to a baby. It’s next to ours. But I’m not hurrying anything along. I just. I know you’ll be a good mother.’

His words had come out rushed and uneven. It was odd to give them a voice. Azriel had never thought any female would want to settle with someone like him. Now it was a reality. A female who loved him, all of him, even his shadows.

‘You didn’t take your tea when you were injured.’

Laughing, he said, ‘Not bleeding out was my priority. It was just a couple of days. I’m back on it so there’s no pressure. I’m not expecting a baby in the next ten years. But one day, I would really like it.’

Nesta had gone pale. He’d thought she would love the house. He had expected an initial reaction of pure excitement that they had a home together. It needed work but that meant they could change it together into the home they wanted. Neither of them had really had a proper home they’d chosen for themselves.

‘You don’t like it?’

His hope was slipping, crashing back to the earth with speed.

The crack in Nesta’s voice killed him. ‘I do like it.’

He drew her to him. She was trembling and he couldn’t figure out why. Maybe the house reminded her of the mortal one she had once lived. Why had he purchased it without consulting Nesta first? It wasn’t like him to rush in without thinking. They should have chosen a house together.

‘What’s wrong? I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s hurting you.’ The fear that always lingered in the back of his mind pushed to the surface. ‘You don’t want me anymore?’

Maybe it was too soon. He knew he could be intense and always wanted more. Maybe he’d scared Nesta with his forwardness and talk of a child. Azriel had never been good at moving slowly. It was everything or nothing.

‘Of course, I do.’ She inhaled deeply, one of her tells that she was anxious. ‘I’m so scared.’

‘Of Cassian? There will be wards and-’

‘No. Azriel.’ Nesta pressed her face into his chest to make a muffled noise of distress. ‘I am pregnant.’

‘Pregnant? With a baby?’

Nesta stared at him with exasperation. ‘What else?’

It took him a moment to process it. His dreams of a child arrived far quicker than he’d imagined. Nesta waited nervously, her hands wringing together in front of her. The faded yellow paint on the wall turned golden in the sunset. They wouldn’t put the crib there. It would need to be on the opposite wall. Girl or boy, it didn’t matter. He found himself liking the yellow paint because it reminded him of sunshine. He thought of all the shells that Nesta had collected in Summer and imagined them around the window frame.

‘Azriel?’

He snapped back to reality. The biggest smile he’d ever worn cracked onto his face. ‘We’re having a baby.’

Reverently, his scarred hand brushed against Nesta’s abdomen. It was flat with no sign of any bump likely to come for a few months, but he was already imagining it. Love swelled within his chest. He had made mistakes. Done things he regretted. But this, this he would do right. Azriel would be the best father he possibly could – the best partner to Nesta.

‘You want this? You’re sure?’

‘I want you most of all.’ Azriel made a noise of pure joy as he lifted Nesta into the air and span her around in the room. His mother would definitely make the trip to Velaris. ‘We’re having a baby,’ he repeated.

Nesta’s smile was real and relieved. His hand stroked against her stomach again. Once without protection would have been incredible luck, but the night after he’d been stabbed, they’d made love over and over brought together by near tragedy. Perhaps it was meant to be. Either way, Azriel didn’t care. His joy could never be tamped down. He had waited a long time for love and found it with the most unexpected person. Azriel and the love of his life would have their golden sky, with their child too.

@misteryhen @wannawriteyouabook @rarephloxes @loysydark @theleafpile @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens

I've griped in the past at how quickly feysand had a baby, but I feel like Nesta always expected to be a mother and a wife quite young and would still want that despite no longer being mortal. I also imagine that Azriel is terrified by fatherhood but it will help him to realise that he is loved and valued. Both of them had poor relationships with their parental figure so will love a baby in the way they were denied. (it's also fan fiction so i love mama nesta). I hope you enjoyed and as I said, an epilogue is coming soon!

#nesta vs the buffer #nezriel

149 notes · View notes

duskandstarlight · 1 year

Text

Embers and Light: Chapter 54 (teaser)

Notes: The longest delay in getting you this chapter but I’m so nearly there! Here’s a snippet to keep you guys warm until I post… 12k. 12! I promised myself I’d never go there again but here we are 🤷🏻‍♀️

“You forget I have seen battle fatigue, sinta,” Mas told Cassian. “I have seen battlegrounds—I’ve been a part of them.”

The skin around Cassian’s mouth tightened, bracketing his mouth like a grim smile. Because Mas was wrong on that count. He would never forget the day of the kerit attacks. He would never forget Mas’s body on the ground, her blood. He would never forget Nesta kneeling beside her, wreathed in the purest of light as she knitted the torn flesh back together. As she healed long brutalised wings.

“Nesta saved me,” Mas continued, her voice resolutely soft in its purpose but determined all the same. “She brought me back for another life and I intend to fight for that life. For you. For Nesta. For everyone who has ever suffered under our own people. For a better life.”

Her words fell away and into more silence. Mas retracted her hands and reached back into the suds, her fingers slipping against cutlery which clattered against the sink. Eventually, she drew out a teaspoon and began to methodically clean it before she extended it out to him without glancing away from her task.

Cassian found that he was relieved. To look at Mas now would mean to memorise every inch of her face, terrified that he’d not have the chance to study it again. He’d already begun to do it with Nesta without meaning to, his mind whispering its own cruel prophecy.

“You saved me, too,” Mas continued into the grim yet resigned silence Cassian had woven himself into. “When we met, I was beaten down. I was so small and insubstantial, the wind could have just tossed me away. Do you remember?”

Now, Cassian forced himself to look at her. He felt his brow collapse in on itself, his eyes felt as if they might melt with the emotion—with the memory. “Of course I do,” he rasped through the chokehold in his throat.

Because of course he did.

Tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @arinbelle @superspiritfestival @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @mylittlebigplanet @biggestwingspan-az @bellsqueen @ekaterinakostrova @bookstantrash @prophecyerised @rainbowcheetah512 @awesomelena555 @wannawriteyouabook @lovelynesta @melphss @laylaameer01 @a-trifling-matter @fanboy7794 @thalia-2-rose @champanheandluxxury @swankii-art-teacher @lavendergoomsltd @princessofmerchants-reads @jeakat @imwritingthesewords @nestable @inejbrekkxr @silvernesta @amelie775 @helen-the-weirdo @pizzaneverdisappoints @wishfulimaginings @trash-for-nessian @my-fan-side @sophilightwood @valkyriesupremacy @vidalinav @onceupona-chaos @inardour @thesunremembersyourface @teagoddess99 @misswonderflower @nessiantrashh @miamorganvel18

#nessian #acotar #acosf #cassian #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #embersandlightfic #duskandstarlightwrites #nessianfic #acotar fanfic #nessian fic #acomaf #acowar #nessian fanfic #a court of silver flames #nesta #sarah j maas #sjm

79 notes · View notes

elrielbaby · 1 year

Text

I’ve been thinking -

It would have been so easy for SJM to reverse the roles of Az & L*cien in ACOWAR. Having Azriel go find Vassa, wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary for him at all, he goes on missions all the time. L*cien had already provided Rhys & Feyre with some pretty solid advice at the HoW when they’d sent out invites for the High Lord Meeting, he could have so easily carried on in that capacity, as well as joining in the battle. She could have so easily made it so L*cien saved Elain, not Az. And we’d still have angst - Elain fighting her feelings for him because he reminded her of one of the most traumatic days of her life. But she didn’t. What she’s done since having L*cien say that Elain’s his mate is continually broaden this gap between them, by keeping them physically apart, by their own choices. By showing how incompatible they are, again they both think this. By how much they just don’t understand each other, how uncomfortable they make each other. The only reason L*cien is trying is because of the mate bond, that he’s been raised to revere, no other reason. Yet you’ve got Elain & Azriel, constantly compared to one another, gravitating towards each other. Almost any time Elain or Azriel is brought up in conversation (particularly in ACOSF) the other is mentioned within the same breath. They can’t stop touching one another in some capacity. They are both hard people to read and yet they seem to read each other perfectly well. Azriel was the one to save Elain. Azriel was the one to figure out Elain was a seer. Azriel was the one who took her into the garden, spent time with her. Azriel is the one who becomes visibly upset (AGAIN, the previously poker faced Azriel?) when he learns Elain was upset after a fight with Nesta. Azriel was the one who didn’t seem to care that he was injured after rescuing Elain, and his first priority was to make sure they knew to get the chains off of her. Azriel is the one who makes her feel at ease. These are all just off the top of my head. ALL of this is shown through out the books (ACOMAF - ACOSF). That’s without going into the bonus chapter. The painful need imagery he painted with his language. Remind you of something? All of this to say - Elriel = endgame.

#pro elriel #anti gwyn #anti gwynriel #anti el*cien #anti elucien

107 notes · View notes

danydragons21 · 1 year

Text

TSTS Chapter 32: The Reins

Please enjoy this plot-light but smut-heavy chapter with a lovely twist ending.

Read it on ao3 here.

Chapter 32: The Reins

The House of Wind looked different. It was nothing incredibly noticeable, but to someone who’d lived there for many years, Azriel could spot the nuances immediately.

The recently-installed bookshelves in the den. The preternatural steel-and-vanilla scent that hung around like smoke. Music playing in a distant room in the house, most likely turned on by Nesta and forgotten afterward, or perhaps she’d done it on purpose, so that it would never be quiet; she did love music after all. The warm, comforting glow of a House that was now a Home.

First Rhys, then Cassian…when would it be his turn? His heart twisted with envy. With pitiful want.

Was this kind of future - this simple, beautiful, vital existence - simply not in the cards for him? Was he truly destined to never find his other half?

His shadows swirled around him angrily at the thought. Azriel knew exactly how they felt; knew exactly what they were thinking.

She already has a mate , he reminded them silently. His shadows buzzed angrily, a feeling which Azriel sympathized with greatly.

It had to be said, though, that while the thought alone used to be enough to make him snarl out loud, for some reason, it had stopped having quite the same effect on him as it used to. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly why the change had occurred - though it seemed to coincide neatly with when he and Elain started fucking like rabbits - but it was significant enough to have caught his notice.

So fucking what if she had a mate? So fucking what? The truth of the matter was that she didn’t like her so-called mate . Well, maybe she liked him fine, as a friend. Whatever. But she didn’t like her mate the way she liked Azriel. Her mate didn’t have her confidence, her secrets, her heart. Her mate didn’t make her scream like Azriel did when he was balls deep inside her.

And no one had ever made him feel the way Elain made him feel. That was the truth. So why the hells shouldn’t she be his? A flare of hope, so bright and foreign, burst inside him. His shadows bobbed excitedly. “Calm down,” Azriel berated them, rolling his eyes, but he didn’t bother hiding his grin.

He finally found Cassian on the rooftop of the House of Wind, running through his usual exercise routine.

“Az!” His brother cried jovially. The massive Illyrian warrior popped up from the one-armed push-up he’d been in, strode over and clapped him on the back. “I’ve missed you, brother.”

“Missed you too,” Azriel murmured, cheeks tinged pink. Cassian’s overt and verbal expression of emotion had always embarrassed him as much as it ingratiated him.

He cleared his throat and straightened his wings. “Where are the Valkyries?” The warriors’ training was normally held at this time.

“Haven’t you heard? They’re assigned to City Guard duty now,” Cassian said proudly. “So we’ve had to move our training to earlier in the day, before their rounds begin.”

“Impressive.”

“Some of the credit goes to you, I suppose. You did train them for a while,” Cas shrugged his wings. “Though more credit goes to me, of course.”

“Of course,” Az echoed, raising an amused brow. For a moment, he rather missed assisting with the Valkyrie training, but…well, his new assignment certainly had its benefits.

Additionally, it didn’t escape his notice that a very important aspect of Velaris security had been amended without his insight, approval or even awareness.

“When did this change go into place?” he asked sharply.

It was Cassian’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Yesterday,” he said. “That’s one of the reasons I asked you here. To tell you.”

Hmm. Maybe he was overreacting.

“So why aren’t you with the Valkyries?” Azriel asked, veering away from the awkward moment.

Cassian scowled. “Because the Overprotective Twins still don’t want me to ‘overexert’ myself.”

“Am I correct in assuming Rhys and Nesta are the Overprotective Twins?”

“You are correct.”

“Will you give me that same pouty face if I tell you that I, too, think it’s best if you take it easy for a few more weeks?”

“Why are you asking questions to things you already know the answer to?” Cassian said. “Anyway, we have more important things to discuss.”

“You’re the one blathering on.”

Cassian glared at him, and Az resisted the urge to grin. It was so easy to mess with his brother.

“Since I’ve been banned from physically exhausting ,” he said, the last phrase spoken with the kind of disdain one would use whilst saying thick mucus , “activity, I’ve been reassigned. I’m coming to stay at the Mortal Manor with you and Elain!”

Azriel’s heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach. “What?” He choked out after an extended beat.

“Well, and Mor too, I guess.”

The shadowsinger froze completely.

“I’m heading over there tonight. Mor should be arriving tomorrow.”

“Great,” Azriel said, doing his best to express some pleasure so as to not hurt his brother’s feelings, though he was pretty sure he just came out looking rather constipated.

In all honesty, the whole scenario sounded utterly dreadful. He was going to be living in a Manor for gods only knew how long with:

A mortal queen who turned into a bird during sunlit hours,

An annoyingly chipper human who never knew when to shut up,

His best friend and adopted brother who also never knew when to shut up,

His other best friend, a blonde he’d loved for centuries, who had once slept with aforementioned brother,

The female he was currently in a - something with, who dominated his thoughts day in and day out, and who was currently hiding some very strong magical powers of her own,

And the male she was eternally bonded to, who just so happened to be the son of not one but two High Lords, and who Azriel could barely look at without feeling like kicking something. Or, sometimes, killing something.

Yeah. This was going to be a blast.

Cassian’s happy smile flickered in uncertainty.

“When was this decided?” Az asked, unable to help himself.

“Last night. That’s why I asked to meet you here. So I could tell you myself.”

Azriel stewed in silence. Despite what Cassian said, he couldn’t help but feel this was a conversation Rhys had purposefully chosen not to have with him.

And he had a shrewd hunch as to why.

“Stop brooding,” Cassian said, cuffing him over the head a little rougher than Azriel thought was entirely necessary. “I thought you’d be excited about this! I figured you were getting bored at the Manor, anyway.”

He frowned, his anger at Rhys momentarily forgotten. “What do you mean, bored?”

“I mean, there isn’t much good company to choose from, is there?” Cas started ticking off his fingers. “First you’ve got the one-eyed mortal who shredded your wings once. Then you have the one-eyed Fae who is related to one of the biggest pieces of shit in Prythian, and I guess also Helion, which we definitely need to discuss more later, because holy shit? Then you have Vassa, who actually seems pretty fun, but she loses points because of the whole bird thing. A friend who can only hang out at night? Nighttime is for my Nesta, not for tittering with pals over a game of cards.”

“Please don’t use the word tittering again,” Azriel said. “You can’t pull it off.”

Cassian continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted whatsoever. “And then there’s Elain. I mean, Elain is the greatest, and I know you two are good friends. But I’m sure all the garden talk gets old.”

“Excuse me?” His voice came out much darker than intended. His shadows were suddenly clinging tight to him.

Cassian blinked. “I just, I meant, you’re probably dying for some guy time, right?” He blinked innocently, clearly confused by Azriel glower.

“Elain is fantastic company,” he said through his teeth.

Cas helped up his hands. “Okay, okay! Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

“It’s not me you offended. It’s your sister-in-law, remember?”

“I know,” Cassian said slowly.

“She is much more than just gardening.”

Cassian shook his head, his eyes widening. “Yeah, you’re right. Of course you’re right. That was rude of me to say.”

Azriel wanted to say something else, but Cassian was looking at him a bit too thoughtfully, a bit too suspiciously, so he got back to the task at hand.

“Why is this change happening?”

“Feyre and Rhys spoke to Lucien recently. Apparently he’s going to be away from the Manor for a while.”

That was odd. Elain hadn’t mentioned anything about Lucien’s new travel plans when she gave him an update barely three days ago. Perhaps she hadn’t known?

He frowned. “Why? And what is he going to be doing?”

“I’m not sure. But without Lucien there, it only leaves you to provide magical protection to the Manor, and you have all your little Spymaster duties to take care of, so you can’t be there all the time. Plus, given Vassa’s recent digression, and since we are getting so close to the ball, it was decided we should bulk up security anyway.”

“Was it?” Azriel said through gritted teeth. “You’d think I would have been asked for my opinion on the subject.”

Cassian looked uncharacteristically serious . “Relax, Az,” he said, not condescendingly. “Like I said - it was decided last night. I still don’t know what exactly has been making you and Rhys behave like fucking idiots, and I certainly don’t understand why it hasn’t been put to bed yet, but don’t let your personal feelings interfere with your professional ones. Rhys would never do anything that puts Velaris - that puts his family - at risk. This change was just made, and you’re finding out shortly after the fact.”

Azriel stood taut for a long moment before relaxing his wings and sighing. “That might have been the most mature thing you’ve ever said.”

“What are you talking about?” Cassian replied, offended. “I’m always mature.”

***

The Queen was avoiding her. Elain was sure of it.

Her first few weeks at the manor, she never went a day without the boisterous, bold red-head seeking her out. Whether it was to walk the grounds or have a glass of wine or sneak up on Jurian and scare him so hard he screamed (this only happened once, but was so hilarious she figured it warranted a mention), Elain spent more time with Vassa than without.

But now, the Queen was unnaturally - and suspiciously - unavailable.

The first night she returned from Velaris, Elain requested a late dinner. “Please tell Queen Vassa that I will wait up to eat with her,” she’d informed one of the servants. Despite Azriel’s advice to the contrary, she was determined to get some answers from Vassa. She figured the best course of action was to simply ply her friend with expensive wine and hope she got drunk enough and spilled whatever it was she so desperately wanted to keep a secret.

Elain waited in the dining room for three hours that night before accepting defeat.

The next evening, she tried a different tactic. The second the sun had set, Elain was at Vassa’s quarters and knocking hard on her door. After several minutes, the door finally opened. But it was another handmaiden, not her friend, who answered.

“She’s not feeling up for company,” the handmaiden said apologetically. Then she lowered her voice and widened her eyes meaningfully. “She’s been doing this a lot lately. Avoiding people.”

It was true that Vassa hadn’t been dealing with the curse’s return well. Understandably, of course. But Elain knew for a fact that Vassa hadn’t been isolating herself entirely - Azriel had said he’d visited her quarters just a few nights before. And her Fae senses could easily detect Jurian’s recent scent clinging to the silk tapestries adorning the queen’s quarters.

Elain was trying not to take it personally, but it was hard. She and Vassa had always confided in each other. They shared a bond that the others didn’t - a bond over similar traumatic experiences. Over situations out of their control that had, quite literally, altered them from the inside out. That had given them strange and uncommon abilities or “gifts” they’d never asked for, never wanted. That had caused them both to resort to hiding secrets in the deepest, darkest crevices of their souls. From the very first day she met Vassa, they had fallen into easy friendship in the simple, lovely way that only women can. No matter her hurt over the secrets Vassa was keeping from her, Elain couldn’t help but trust her.

She and Vassa understood each other, simple as that. And it was because of this innate trust and understanding that she couldn’t help but feel that whatever it was Vassa was afraid to tell her wasn’t quite that bad. Despite the initial anger she’d felt, Elain was having a difficult time imagining the queen actually withholding something dangerous or detrimental from her. She just couldn’t imagine her friend doing that.

But until Vassa told her, Elain was stuck with only her own worries and wonders.

It was also rather inconvenient that her only chance to speak with Vassa was at night, since during the day she was indisposed. Not that she blamed the queen, of course. But it was messing with her sleep schedule all the same. She was almost glad that Azriel had been off on his Spymaster duties the past few days (keyword: almost). His absence had, at least, guaranteed her nights full of uninterrupted sleep.

With nothing else to do during the daytime but stew over the unanswered questions pounding against her skull, she’d taken to practicing her powers. The past few days, she’d spent nearly all her waking hours in the conservatory, testing out different powers, pushing the limit of her magic - and discovering that, so far, the limit did not exist.

Elain was not one to brag, but if she was, she would have boasted loudly for all to hear. She was getting good. Really good.

Not only had she regrown all the flowers, trees and plants back that Koschei had so rudely destroyed - she’d added to the array, using her expert gardener’s eye to create a practical oasis in the middle of the Mortal Manor. A patch of petunias covered the vast majority of the east wing. Troves of wisteria hung over her head. The ground itself was coated with lush, spongy moss that felt like springs beneath her feet. A thick web of ivy crawled up the high stone walls and arching windows alike.

It surprised her as much as it pleased her that the better she got at controlling her magic, the stronger her magic seemed to become. It was an endless loop of buzzing, positive energy, feeding into itself and onto itself and multiplying in turn. It was the kind of power that was intoxicating and terrifying and empowering, all at the same time, and Elain loved it.

She’d just finished growing a patch of incredibly rare camellias when the lovely scent of cedar, wind and smoke engulfed her senses.

“Impressive,” Azriel said. He was standing in the shadows beneath a nearby poplar, watching her with those intense hazel eyes.

She cocked an eyebrow. Then, with a delicate flick of her fingers, a huge, tri-colored orchid appeared directly beside him.

That smug bastard didn’t even bat an eyelash.

“Elain Archeron,” he said, and just like every time he said her full name, she shivered a little bit. “You might just save us all yet.”

Her responding smile may have been light and casual, but the feeling in her chest certainly wasn’t. What was it about this male and his simple, lovely words that made her heart trip over itself?

A coward in denial , she thought to herself. She knew exactly why he affected her so.

“Any updates from Velaris?” Elain asked quickly, wanting to change the subject.

Azriel may have been a pro at masking his emotions, but by now, Elain was a pro at reading him. And she could tell, in the mere second he hesitated to reply, that something of importance had occurred.

“Yes,” he said simply.

“What?”

He regarded her, still wearing a carefully blank expression that didn’t fool her one bit.

“Tell me,” she said. Softly…but also powerfully.

A tendon in his jaw ticked, and something in his energy changed ever so subtly.

“Not here,” he said, and before she could take a proper breath, he was pulling her toward the garden shed that sat at the very back of the conservatory. Elain hadn’t entered the shed in a long time - certainly not since Phillip’s death, she thought sadly - because she had not had any need for gardening tools. Not anymore. The magic in her blood, so easily stirred these days, seemed to tingle at the thought.

Azriel entered the shed first, striding her over the threshold of the shed, his massive wings flexing behind him. He was still giving off a strange aura, though what exactly was different, she couldn’t quite say.

The second the door closed, the story rushed out of him. And with each new word that fell out of Azriel’s mouth, Elain’s face fell a little more.

“When are they coming?” she asked when he’d finished, her voice steady despite the fear evident in her eyes.

He grimaced. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?!” she gasped.

He nodded.

“But we can’t have that!” she cried. “I mean,” she cleared her throat, lowering her voice, “logistically speaking.”

“Logistically speaking?” he raised an eyebrow, causing a blush to immediately dust over her lightly-freckled cheeks.

“Yes.”

He cocked his head to the side. “What logistics are you referring to?”

“Well, I mean, my training, of course,” she said, refusing to meet his gaze. “It’s just, you know, I’m just, I’m still not ready for the others to know about my magic.”

Well, the whole “secret powers'' situation was a can of worms Azriel simply didn’t have the energy - nor the desire - to get into right now. Further than that, though, he could tell that Elain wasn’t telling the truth - or the entire truth, more likely. And it didn’t take a wizard to discern why.

Her wide, worried eyes, the nervous pitter-pattering of her heart, the way her fingers were unconsciously twisting themselves together over and over again…she was afraid. Afraid of what this change meant, not for her training, but for them . Afraid of how Mor and Cassian’s presence would affect what they had.

Azriel, who had thought of practically nothing else since hearing of the new situation himself, completely understood her distress. He’d felt the same way, at first. No, this situation was definitely not ideal. Yes, it was going to be a hell of an adjustment. And yeah, it was going to be difficult. He knew it as well as she, an undeniable fact.

But there was also an unshakeable certainty burning inside him that assuaged all these initial fears. If the last few months had taught him anything, it was that he and Elain were made for the shadows; as an entity, as a couple , they had always been forced to exist only in the dark, liminal slices of time, surviving only because they kept defeating every barrier that stood in their way, lasting only because they did not cower in the darkness but faced it head-on.

This newest obstacle was just another to knock down. It was just going to be a little bit harder now. But he had no doubt that they would find a way to see each other. He would simply not allow anything to the contrary.

He wasn’t ready to give her up yet.

Elain’s anxious face swam back into focus. So he decided to ease her worries - and assuage his own desires - and to have a bit of fun for both of them.

“Oh, your training ,” he said. “Silly me for thinking of another illicit activity entirely.” He smirked.

She narrowed her eyes. “Stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I don’t. I’m not very good at picking up on context clues.”

“Says the Spymaster with supersonic hearing.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

His eyes immediately flicked to her chest.

“Wipe that smirk off your face before I wipe it off for you,” Elain said.

His grin grew wider. She was in a feisty mood today. “Is that a promise?” he purred.

She huffed dramatically. “You’re annoying when you smirk,” she said childishly.

Quick as a snake, he pulled her flush against him.

“You’re annoying when you snore at night,” he said.

Elain’s face went hot. “I do not snore!”

“You do.” He nipped at her nose. “Every night.” His teeth grazed her jaw this time, sending an unwilling rush of heat through her. “Without fail.”

“I do not snore, Azriel,” she repeated hotly, surreptitiously squeezing her thighs together.

“I can’t believe your sisters never told you! Didn’t the three of you share a bed for years?” He laughed at the indignant look on her face, incensing her further.

“I loathe you,” she said crossly.

He ran his hands through her hair, then cupped her face, his thumb lightly tracing her bottom lip. “We both know that’s not true,” he said. “But I did lie. It’s not annoying when you snore.” His mouth was now mere inches from hers, so close she could taste his sweet breath. “It’s fucking adorable .”

When she scowled, he started laughing again.

She shoved at him. Humoring her, he fell back onto the low work table behind him, still chuckling. Then, to his surprise (and, quite honestly, her own), she straddled him, one lithe leg at a time.

***

At the first roll of her hips, his laughter guttered out.

“Am I adorable when I do this?” she asked, studying his face closely.

The muscles in Azriel’s jaw tightened. “Not the word I’d use.”

“No?” She repeated the motion, feeling him harden beneath her. “What word would you use, then?” Leaning forward, she nuzzled his neck with her nose, then replaced the touch with her lips. Softly kissed the knot on his throat. “What about…sweet?”

“No. Though you are very sweet, in every sense of the word.” As if in emphasis, he buried his face in her curls and inhaled deeply.

Elain blushed, grateful that her face was still hidden in the crook of his shoulder. She did not want to display any semblance of embarrassment. Elain wasn’t quite sure what boldness had come over her, but she knew that this was her moment to have him, not the other way around, and she did not want to give him any reason to take back the power. Not when it so rarely belonged to her. Not when he would, inevitably, take control again, and soon. She knew his tells well enough by now, knew that he could only handle someone else holding the reins for a few moments before he took them for himself.

But even if he could never admit it out loud, she also knew how much it turned him on when she took control. Even if just for a little while.

A shudder went through his entire body as she licked up his throat. Her mouth watered at the delectable tang of the thin film of sweat coating his body - and now her tongue - tangible proof of the significant effect she had on him.

“What about…lovely?” she murmured, ghosting her lips over his.

“You are so fucking lovely,” he said, eyes dark and dangerous. “But no. That’s not the word I was thinking of, either.”

Elain frowned. He was still forming complete, coherent sentences. He was still looking at her with clear hazel eyes. Which meant he was nowhere close to where she wanted him to be.

So she tugged at his shirt in a silent request. Watched as he pulled it over those massive, powerful wings and tossed it to the dirt-strewn floor, neither of them caring or even remembering where they were. She ran her hands across his golden, muscled torso the second he yanked it off, her eyes wide. Sidled further down, placing her lips lovingly, adoringly, on each taut ripple of abs. Gods have mercy. His body was a fucking treasure. Sometimes she couldn’t believe how lucky she was to see it, feel it, worship it.

Azriel was heaving in earnest now, his bare chest rising and falling with a cacophonic cadence. When her fingers dipped below the waistband of his pants, he let out a tortured groan.

Better , she thought, grinning to herself. Without letting herself hesitate, she slid to her knees and boldly pulled down both his pants and underwear. Her mouth fell open as his thick length escaped its confines, standing straight to attention and throbbing in anticipation.

She’d seen his cock before, of course. Felt it in her hands. Inside her body. But at this angle, so close, the sheer size of him struck her anew. Gods. He was utterly magnificent.

A bead of liquid formed at the top of his manhood. She eyed it, feeling slightly nervous but mostly greedy. She licked her lips. Then she licked down the center of her palm.

Azriel let out a strangled moan. Flicking her eyes up, she was pleased to see a dizzy, overwhelmed expression on his face. “You don’t have to do this,” he croaked out, and no words had ever sounded more forced.

“But what if I want to?” she asked, widening her eyes innocently before wrapping a hand around him. She clenched her fist a little harder than intended, but Azriel didn’t seem to mind.

“Holy fuck,” he said, throwing his head back against the mattress. His whole body was shaking - with restraint, eagerness, or pure and unadulterated lust, she wasn’t sure. She hoped it was a sinful mixture of the three.

She continued to stroke him, taking her time to admire the gorgeous specimen before her, learning what he liked. The harder she squeezed, the more noises of pleasure he made; when she accidentally scraped her nails down him, his hips thrust up and a choked sound came from his throat. She smiled softly, and the next time her nails grazed him, it was entirely intentional.

“You’re so big,” she mused a few minutes later, mostly to herself. The rock-hard member in her hand twitched in response.

“ Elain ,” he moaned. “Stop torturing me.”

Elain did not deign to reply. Instead she sent him a crooked, wicked smile and leaned forward. Her mouth was now mere inches away from his pulsing length. He growled in anticipation.

“We never came to a decision,” she said.

“What?”

“We never decided what word accurately describes me,” she said, still moving her fist up and down, up and down. “But I think I know.” She leaned forward. “What about…” she poked her tongue out and gently licked the tip. “ Generous ?”

A great shudder worked its way through Azriel’s body, and then he was tugging her forward by the hair. “Fucking gods, Elain,” he said in a dark, grating voice. “Put your mouth on me. Now .”

Elain glanced up at him, a bit of shyness slipping through her otherwise confident exterior for the first time since she’d rolled her hips into his rock-hard lap. “Tell me what feels good, okay?”

Before he could even begin formulating a response, she wrapped her mouth around the tip and sucked. Hard. A deliciously strangled sound crawled from the back of his throat.

“That, honey, that feels so good,” he said.

Slowly but eagerly, she continued sucking him, taking him a little deeper with each new head bob, her hand covering the part of his length that her mouth couldn’t reach.

“Is this your first time doing this?” he asked, panting. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and, without taking her mouth off his cock, nodded.

He groaned. “You’re too much. You’re too perfect.” His hazel eyes gazed fiercely into her own. Long, cool fingers grabbed her hair like reins, urging her forward once again. And this time, she took him as deep as her throat allowed.

She watched as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. As his mouth dropped open in a silent cry of pleasure. Even when she gagged slightly, she didn’t retreat until he guided her backward.

“Fuck,” he growled. Then he got to his feet, those mighty wings of his spanning from one end of the shed to the other. He tugged lightly on her shoulders, beckoning her to stand with him. “Let me taste you, too,” he said.

Mother above, this male was sexier than anyone had a right to be. And though his offer was quite tempting, she wasn’t finished playing with him. Gods, no. She wasn’t even close.

Ignoring him, she moved forward again, putting as much of him inside her mouth as she possibly could. She tightened her fist around the base and pumped in time with the motion of her throat, hard and steady.

Immediately, Azriel abandoned any notion of doing something else; instead, he just abandoned himself to her , wrapping her hair tight around his fist. The thought itself was enough to send a new rush of wetness to slicken her thighs.

For a while, he let her set the pace; she curiously bobbed up and down his length, pausing every once in a while to lick down the shaft or to suck solely on the head. He let her know how he was feeling the entire time.

“Gods, that’s good,” he said, or “You have the sweetest little mouth,” or “That’s my girl.” The more he praised her, the wetter she became, until she was unwittingly grinding her core against his leg, desperate to sate the pulsing ache between her thighs but still determined to bring him to climax with just her mouth.

She let out a moan of her own at how delicious he tasted, at how much she loved making him feel so good. How much she loved stoking the flames burning between them. Loved pushing him to his very limits. Loved looking at him and touching him and being with him, and oh, oh, oh . She just loved him so very, very much.

“I’m close,” he grunted out.

Everything began moving faster - her throat, her hand, her tongue - as she worked to bring him to the edge.

“Elain, if you don’t move soon, I’m going to come in your mouth,” he gritted out. He was unbelievably close; hanging on by a damn thread.

Those big brown eyes blinked up at him. His cock twitched in response. Fuck , what was it about her innocence that turned him on so much?

Then, without breaking eye contact, she nodded once.

Oh gods. He wasn’t going to survive her, was he?

“You don’t have to,” he said for the second time that night, even though his manhood was so hard it hurt. Even though he wanted nothing more than to watch her swallow his seed, watch her try and take everything he gave her.

“I want to,” she murmured, tracing her lips against the tip of his cock as she spoke, and the vibration sent a new rush of pleasure through him. Her eyes were wide and sincere and fucking intoxicating. “I want it all, Az.”

“ Fuck ,” he rasped out. “Beg me.”

She nodded earnestly, lashes fluttering. “ Please .” She gave a particularly hard suck. “Please, please give it to me.”

Azriel’s restrained snapped. Widening his stance slightly, he tightened the grip of his fingers tangled in her hair and, with an almighty thrust, shoved himself down her throat. With nowhere else to go, her hands clutched onto the backs of his thighs, hanging on for dear life. He repeated the motion over and over again, his pace relentless, his force unforgiving, his lust greater than ever before.

“Always so polite,” he said, the words closer to a growl than anything, “always so courteous. Even when you’re choking on my cock. Even when you’re begging me to fill you up with my cum.”

She let out a little whimper at that. The sound vibrated pleasantly against his thick length. He was awestruck at the way she took him down her throat with such adoration; with a reverence he’d never known before, even as he ruthlessly rammed in and out of her mouth.

It seemed a miracle that he was still going, though he knew the end was drawing close, knew it like he knew shadows and darkness and death. “Tell me, Elain,” he said, “Will you use those pretty manners to show your gratitude when I shoot my load down your throat? Will you tell me thank you as my cum is spilling from your perfect little mouth?”

Her answer came as a wicked twist of the lips, and then the lightest scratch of teeth against his rock-hard manhood - and he was absolutely done for. With an almighty roar, he shoved his hips forward one final time and came hard, stars and supernovas and planets exploding behind his eyelids.

It took several moments for him to regain his composure. By the time he did, he was bent over at the waist and breathing embarrassingly hard. He glanced down. Below him, still kneeling between his legs, was Elain. She was looking at him, too. He’d never seen such a gorgeous sight as Elain Archeron on her knees, spit dripping down her chin - or so he thought until a mere moment later when, without blinking, she swallowed, his ample release working its way down her slender, creamy throat.

He growled, low and deep. Despite the earth-shattering and balls-draining orgasm he’d just had, his cock went semi-hard. He wanted her again already, and he would want her after this next time, too, and the time after that; he could see himself wanting her for all of eternity.

Elain licked her lips. Then she smiled as she closed her eyes, as if savoring the taste.

It was the last straw. So quickly she gasped, he tugged her up, not roughly but certainly not gently, and kissed her deeper than the sea. She kissed him back just as eagerly, palming his face between her hands, desperate to get closer to him somehow, even though they were pressed against each other so tightly she did not know where she ended and he began -

The shed door opened with a bang. Azriel and Elain sprung back from each other and whipped around toward the source of the interruption.

There, standing in the doorway, wearing an expression equivalent to that of someone recently hit over the head with a frying pan, was Cassian.

#elriel #acotar #elrielfic #acotarfic #elain #azriel #acotarsmut #elrielsmut #post acosf #elriel interrupted!!!#tsts #danydragons21

36 notes · View notes

tadpolesonalgae · 4 months

Note

I've seen people say that cbmthy is turning into a eris story but i can't help but think it's a bas x reader story or not even that. We don't see reader with the ic and when she is she's miserable. Azriel only treats her like an assignment and even Eris doesn't really show up. Honestly the past 4-5 chapters have felt like fillers and just to show her relationship with the Ic and bas but I think those could have been shown in at least only 2 chapters. I don't want to try to tell you how to write your story but i thought after Azriel found out about her powers that the story would actually move but it just got slower. We don't know anything about her powers still, she's just training by herself or reading by herself even though she's surrounded by family and she hasn't made any improvements on herself either. I feel like we've been getting shown how shitty her mind state is for 10 chapters and gotten basically no plot yet. Azriel found out about her powers and i honestly thought that the week he gave her would go by from one chapter to the other but it's been going for 3 or 4 chapters already. I don't mind bas either because he's really the only character she seems to actually like spending time with but if the story isn't supposed to be about them i don't see the point of that. Her infatuation with Azriel feels like a schoolgirl crush and since there's been no feelings on his side and hers feel superficial because she cant even be herself with him like she is with Bas and I'm guessing she'll actually get some sort of character development eventually i don't see this ending up being a Azriel story. They have no chemistry.

Okay so, admittedly that was difficult for me to read, but I can see your point.

From what you’ve said, I’ve inferred that the pacing seems to be the issue as well as no chemistry or progression with her and Az—which since you’re reading this story because it’s and Azriel fic, I can understand that frustration.

However, I would like to remind you I’m not forcing you to continue reading it.

Under other circumstances I might have tried to convince you to stay since I’ve put a lot of time and effort into this story and mapped out the plot in my free time, but it feels like I’ve lost your interest, and that’s completely fine.

I understand the story is going very slowly at the moment, but that’s the pace I’ve chosen to show how heavy and dragging life can feel when you’re trapped in that headspace, and if that sort of thing isn’t for you, that’s fine, but I am sorry that you’ve ended up reading for so long and finding yourself disappointed with how it’s going. I would suggest taking a step back and considering if you want to continue putting your time into reading cbmthy instead of something else if you aren’t enjoying it—I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

#anons <3 #cbmthy

14 notes · View notes

autumnshighlady · 9 months

Text

I’ve Always Liked to Play With Fire (part 15)

NESTA ARCHERON X ERIS VANSERRA X FEMALE!READER

summary: Azriel has a tough decision to make

warnings: Night Court slander, semi graphic torture, Rhysand is horrible, the usual

word count: 5.8k

DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE

a/n: oh my god i am so so so sorry this took so long! life has been insane lately i havent had the energy to write. Anywho, this chapter is just the start of something super big so buckle up and look for hints hehe alsO PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK ON THIS CHAPTER IM BEGGING

feedback is appreciated, just no hate pls! these are just my opinions, i’m more curious to see how you all like the writing and characterization and storylines!

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // part 8 // part 9 // part 10 // part 11

read on ao3

Spotify playlist

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

AZRIEL POV

Azriel couldn’t help but flinch at the sight of your limp body, arms strung up like you were a piece of meat dangling from the chains. He had thought himself to be good at shutting off his emotions when it came to his line of work, but this felt different. Wrong, even. It confused him – not once had he ever hesitated, ever even considered disobeying his High Lord’s orders down in these dungeons.

Your hair was matted and lifeless around your face, the weak rise and fall of your chest being the only indication that you were even still alive. The beautiful gown that adorned your body at the ball was now tattered and dirty, barely clinging onto your skin in some places. Azriel gulped as he stared at your unconscious form, wiped out from Rhysand’s attempts to penetrate your mind.

Evidently, the High Lord was beyond frustrated, his brow furrowed and sweaty from the efforts. “I’ve never seen this,” He muttered, running a hand through his dark hair. “Not once. I’ve always been able to get inside people’s heads. Why not hers?”

“I don’t know.” Azriel responded. He felt his shadows curl around his scarred fingers. Normally they did so to encourage him to get the job done, but this time felt different. It was as if they wanted him not to end your life, but to reach out and free you from the shackles. But he ignored them.

Rhys slumped against the wall, panting slightly. “I need answers, Az.” He snapped, voice sharp. “How is this girl able to withstand my magic? And how the hell did she access some ancient spell that allowed this bond to form with Nesta? I would prefer to know before I end things, so whatever shit she may have put in motion can be stopped.”

Azriel stiffened. “End things?

The High Lord sighed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Come on, Azriel. You know this is how it has to end. She spent months plotting against our court, and possesses some form of magic within her bond with Nesta. She’s a threat and you know it. And threats like that must be eliminated.”

He spoke with that authoritative voice that Azriel had seen bring so many others to their knees in obedience. He felt it tug at his bones, the instinct to obey his High Lord. Azriel had always considered himself loyal, never needing that extra kick to submit to his superior. Until now. “I disagree.” Azriel said sternly. “(Y/N) has lied, yes. But she has shown no signs of intending to inflict harm upon this court. All she wanted was to get out, and she knew we wouldn’t let her.”

“I don’t recall you being this blind, brother.” Rhysand’s voice was low as his violet eyes sternly stared down his spymaster. “Did she flash you her tits during training sessions? Is that why you’ve suddenly gone soft?”

“No. I think we pushed her too hard, too fast into this job she did not want. She had already lost everything in the Spring Court, and when Lucien brought her here she immediately became a prisoner. Did you expect her to bow at your feet and be eternally grateful for letting her stay here? We should have given her a reason to want to become a part of this court, not force her into it within a span of months.”

Rhysand let out a growl, and Azriel knew he was pushing his limits. “Careful, Az.” He said. But Azriel ignored him.

“Can you blame her for resenting us?” The shadowsinger continued, against his better judgement. “Our High Lady destroyed her court, and when Lucien brought her here she was forced to live indebted to the female who allowed her home to be ruined.”

There was a low rumble within the cell as Rhysand’s dark mist began to creep out from behind him. “Choose your next words wisely, Azriel. Or I’ll begin to think you’ve helped her.”

“I didn’t, and you know it. But your protectiveness for your mate is clouding your judgement as a leader, Rhysand. This girl does not deserve to die for what she has done.”

Before he could breathe another word, a sharp pain cut through his throat as Rhys’ dark power wrapped around it, cutting off his air. Shock flooded through him, hazel eyes bulging as the violet eyed male snarled at him. He didn’t try to fight back. Not once had his brother gone this far – sure, they had their fair share of nasty fights, but never like this. No matter how angry they had gotten with each other, neither had ever threatened the life of the other. Until now.

“That is not your call to make, spymaster.” Rhysand snarled furiously. “I am your High Lord before anything else, and you are sworn to me. My word is law, not yours. You will go and search for more insight into this bond between her and Nesta. Whether you find anything on it or not, (Y/N) will die by your hand at dawn tomorrow. You will not protest, and you will not breathe a word about this to anyone. If I sense even for a second that you will disobey me, I will throw you in a cell beside this scheming whore. Am I understood?”

Azriel nodded as best he could, body still frozen in shock. After a moment, Rhysand’s tendrils finally retreated, leaving the spymaster gasping for air. Despite working alongside him, being the executioner to his master for over 500 years, Azriel had never known what it was to be like on the receiving end of his High Lord’s pure fury until now. He glanced over at your strung-up figure, guilt churning in his gut. You had endured this torture for days, a torture Azriel only received a glimpse of.

As the spymaster inhaled deeply kneeling on the cold floor, his shadows whispered to him. He knew deep down that he had a choice to make, one like never before. 500 years of loyalty to Rhysand was being put to the test, something Azriel never thought would happen. Another glance at how intensely Rhys was staring at your imprisoned, starved form was all he needed to winnow away.

*********************

Azriel’s throat still burned from the pressing of Rhys’ dark mist. He kept his demeanour calm as he approached the doors to the library at the House of Wind, even though his stomach was in a thousand knots. He knew what he was about to do was treason at the highest order, and the second Rhys found out he would be flayed alive. The clenching and unclenching of his scarred fingers was the only indication of his disturbance as the spymaster was met with Clotho. Her pale robes shone in the blue light of the library as she approached him.

Shadowsinger, Her elegant writing appeared on the paper in lieu of her voice. What can I do for you?

“I need to see Gwyneth.” Azriel said, trying to keep the urgency out of his voice to not alarm the priestess.

Gwyn is occupied right now. May I take a message?

He gulped nervously. “I’m really sorry, Clotho. But I need her right now.”

That will not be possible. I suggest you return at another time, Azriel.

“Please.” Azriel hated begging, and hated pushing the priestess even more. But before Clotho could script a reply, a gentle voice sounded from behind the shelves a few metres away.

“Azriel?” Gwyn’s red hair appeared, streaming down her flowing robes as she carried an alarming amount of books. “What are you doing here?”

“Gwyn, I need to speak with you in private. Right now.” He pleaded, hoping Clotho wouldn’t shoo him away.

Gwyn’s teal eyes were puzzled, but she nodded. “It’s alright Clotho.” The priestess merely nodded beneath her hood before turning and disappearing back into the stacks.

Azriel breathed a sigh of relief as Gwyn put down the books. She walked towards one of the offices, and he followed her in silence. The room was tense as she closed the door behind him.

She crossed her arms, which made him halt. Normally his interactions with Gwyn were pleasant, leaving his shadows singing happily afterwards. But the way she was staring at him with a hardened glare made him want to shrink back.

“Where is (Y/N)?” Gwyn said sharply.

Azriel took a deep breath, unsure of how to approach this. He didn’t know what version of that night at the Hewn City had reached the ears of the priestesses. “Gwyn–”

“Don’t bullshit me for one second, Azriel.” The redhead was unyielding, but he could see the anxiousness within her as her throat bobbed with every word. “Nesta left for Autumn with Eris, but (Y/N) never returned from the Hewn City that night. What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything–” He started, but Gwyn cut him off abruptly.

“I said don’t bullshit me, you fucking liar!” Her voice rose, long fingers clenching and trembling with anger. It was enough to make Azriel take a step back, shocked at the fire within her. “I heard you grabbed her and whisked her away that night. What the hell did you do to my friend?”

Azriel leaned against the desk, wiping his face with his hand. His heart cracked a bit, knowing that trust and companionship he had built with Gwyn while training had come crashing down. He hated himself for it, for being so blind in following orders that led him to this place. His loyalty to Rhysand came at a price, one he had always been willing to pay until now. “I’m sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I was following orders.”

“What is wrong with you?” Gwyn hissed, her words cutting him sharper than Rhysand’s magic had. “You took away her one chance of leaving this gods damned court peacefully. You took away her freedom out of stupid, blind loyalty.”

“How did you know what happened that night?”

She snorted. “You and your little circle like to treat us priestesses like we’re these fragile little flowers living in our own little shelter, oblivious to the outside world. But people talk, and word reaches us. We aren’t as ignorant to the court as you think we are.”

“I never said that you were.”

“You basically just did.”

Shame washed over Azriel. He knew she was right, that he was a prick in assuming the priestesses remained clueless to what was happening in the court right now. And that’s why Clotho had been hesitant to let him into the library. “I never meant for any of this to happen.” He muttered, closing his eyes.

“Well, it did. Now tell me where my friend is, and why you’re here.”

Azriel took a breath, preparing to utter the words that would make this decision the point of no return. “I need everything you have on the bond between (Y/N) and Nesta.”

A flicker of worry crossed Gwyn’s teal eyes. “I don’t know anything–”

“Yes, you do.” Azriel interrupted her calmly. “My guess is you knew about their plan as well. Otherwise you’d be a lot more freaked out by Nesta marrying Eris.”

As panic began to set into the priestess’ face, Azriel softened his voice. “It’s ok, I’m not going to tell anyone. It makes sense that any information that Nesta and (Y/N) got on the bond was through you and your work. You are not in trouble, and nobody will hear from me that you helped them. I just need every scrap of information you were able to get your hands on regarding whatever magic they used.”

She narrowed her eyes. “So you can give it to your master like a good dog playing fetch? Not gonna happen. He’ll use it to hurt both of them. I don’t care that he’s the High Lord, I won’t let him do that.”

Azriel stood up and took a step towards Gwyn. She didn’t shrink back, but rather lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “Gwyn,” He began. “That’s not what this is. I’m not retrieving this information for Rhysand.”

The priestess blinked once, as if considering the gravity of his words. He wished he could spill the truth and tell Gwyn what he planned to do, but just uttering those words directly to her would put her at risk. “Then who are you retrieving it for?”

“Look, I am not trying to hide anything from you. But I told you… if you knew the truth, I would be putting you at risk for selfish reasons. And after all I have done, that is something I cannot live with. You just have to trust me when I say that it is for the right reason.”

“After hearing about how you so quickly stole (Y/N) away, I’m not sure if we have the same definition of the right reason, Azriel.” Gwyn’s voice was bitter, but there was a sadness to it that made the guilt churning inside of him threaten to spill over.

“I understand.” He said quietly. “And you have no reason to trust me right now. But please… if you’ve ever had any faith in me at all…just….just know that I’m doing this for (Y/N). And Nesta. If you believe anything I say, believe that.”

Silence overtook the room, the shadowsinger and the priestess standing mere inches from each other. After a long few minutes Gwyn muttered a ‘stay here’ before quickly fleeing the office.

She returned 15 minutes later with a few sheets of parchment paper and several books. They were placed upon the dusty table, and Gwyn took a deep breath. “This is everything I have on the subject,” She said shakily. “It’s not much, but it’s every document that could possibly give anything away about the bond between them.”

Without thinking, Azriel dropped to his knees in relief, bowing his head. “Thank you, Gwyn. Thank you.” His entire body was on the verge of shaking as the weight of what he was about to do began to truly set in. Everything he had known and defended was about to be put on the line.

“Promise me this, Azriel.” Gwyn spoke coldly. “Promise that this information gets into the right hands, not the wrong ones. You do whatever it takes to help my girls. After everything you and your family have done to them, you owe them that much. And more.”

“I swear it.” Azriel said solemnly, still looking at the ground. In a flash, he felt a cold blade pressing against his jaw, tilting his head upwards to gaze at the priestess. She looked like a goddess of justice, staring down at him with icy eyes.

“And I swear this to you,” Gwyn said coldly, a silver dagger in hand. “If you screw this up and they pay the price for it, no power in the world will stop me from hurting you. I don’t care that you trained me, or that you saved me on that day Hybern came. I will cut your throat if anything happens to Nesta or (Y/N) because of you. Understood?”

Azriel was enthralled at her strength. This was not the shy, nervous priestess that he had rescued from Hybern’s soldiers. Gwyn’s bravery had excelled since the second she stepped into the ring, and Azriel had marvelled at her progress during training, how comfortable she became with the outside world. Stupidly, he had credited that to his and Cassian’s training, thinking that it was what Gwyn, Nesta and the others had needed to heal like he and Cassian had. No, this strength had nothing to do with what he taught her. Behind her stern expression, Azriel knew that deep down this strength had come from the friendship formed with you, Nesta, and Emerie. He had been a fool to see it as anything other than that.

“I’m proud of you, Gwyn.” Azriel said softly before his brain could shut him up.

Despite the flicker of surprise across her face, she did not yield. “I do not need your validation. I need you to do the right thing and help my friends. Only after that will your statement be worth anything to me.”

Gwyn removed the blade from the spymaster’s throat and turned on her heel. Like a ghost in the wind, she was gone. Azriel’s chest was tight as he stood up, collecting the documents in his arms and praying that this possibly very stupid decision would be worth it. But after seeing the anger on Gwyn’s face, the hurt he had caused without even realising it…. Azriel knew exactly what he needed to do as he winnowed away.

*********************

The door in front of Azriel opened before he could raise a hand to knock, revealing the redhead male with a golden eye wide with surprise.

“Azriel?” Lucien said in shock. “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk.” Was all he said in response before pushing his way past Lucien into the manor.

“By all means, come in.” The male muttered sarcastically. But Azriel paid it no mind as he scanned the large living room for any sign of Jurian and Vassa.

“I’m alone.” Lucien quipped, settling down on the large brown armchair by the fireplace. “Since that’s what you were trying to figure out. I’m surprised you came by before (Y/N). I thought she’d have visited already, but I guess she’s been enjoying Velaris too much to be slumming it down in the human lands. When you see her next, thank her for the scarf for me, will you?”

Azriel’s heart dropped, head whipping sharply towards Azriel. “What?” He didn’t even bother keeping the surprise out of his voice.

Lucien frowned. “The scarf she gave me for the solstice? Rhys delivered it a day or so after, said she was busy on a new mission and asked him to drop it off for her.”

“Rhys was here?” Dread pooled in Azriel’s stomach. His High Lord was ensuring your disappearance would be quiet, giving him time to create a cover story before eliminating you.

“Yes… Why do you look so concerned? What aren’t you telling me?”

Azriel put his head in his hands, cursing. “You have no idea what’s been going on, have you?”

Lucien was still as a statue as he spoke. “I haven’t heard from (Y/N) since I got to the manor. When Rhysand visited, he said she had picked out a scarf for me as a present, and that she was sorry she hadn’t visited, but that she was loving her life in Velaris. And that she was training under you to work for the Night Court as a spy.”

Any desire to be secretive flew out the window as Azriel explained everything to the Autumn male – how you were not freely living in Velaris, but locked away with Nesta in the House of Wind. Your time spent back at the Spring Court to spy on your own people. Nesta’s engagement to Eris as a cover to escape the Night Court. Lucien was usually a collected male in Azriel’s eyes, but he could see the disbelief and anger in his expression as he told him the truth. When he was done, Lucien leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, speaking in a low voice. “So you’re telling me that you locked away my best friend, and everything I’ve heard about her for these past few months has been a lie.” Lucien said. “Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Azriel said quietly. “And now I’m trying to fix it–”

“Fucking hell!” Lucien exclaimed sharply, standing up abruptly and pacing back and forth. “Your court is a fucking shitshow, you know that? How the fuck can you let this happen, Azriel? You’re so far up Rhysand’s ass you didn’t see any of this coming?”

“I understand you’re angry–”

“Oh angry doesn’t even begin to describe it,” Lucien hissed, his red hair gleaming in the light of the fire. “You played right into Rhys’ hands, and now (Y/N) is being tortured in a cell somewhere because you let it happen instead of growing a fucking spine. And that doesn’t even begin to touch on the fact that Nesta was treated so horribly by you people she was willing to marry ERIS out of all people just to get away from it.”

Azriel had no defence. Defeated, he hung his head. Lucien was right about everything, and it was made worse by the fact Rhysand lied about your status to him knowing that the Autumn male was the only one likely to try and do something to stick up for you.

“Now what I can’t figure out is why you’re telling me this.” Lucien folded his arms, glaring at the spymaster. “You’re either betraying Rhysand and trying to fix this mess, which is brave but incredibly stupid. Or you’ve come here to see if I somehow had anything to do with all this so you can hang me up in a cell next to (Y/N). Which is it, shadowsinger?”

”I need your help.” Azriel admitted, meeting his harsh gaze. “I’m trying to turn this around, but I need to track down Eris. You’re my only shot.”

Lucien let out a harsh, heartless laugh. “I figured. You need my help. If you thought I wasn’t going to be any use to you, I wonder if you’d have even come here and told me the truth. Or would you have just let me live on believing this lie until word got around about (Y/N) meeting her tragic end on some mission.”

Mentally, Azriel was exhausted. Two redheads ripping him a new one was beginning to chip away at him more than he was already crumbling at the weight of his decision. Like Gwyn, Lucien was right. While he respected the male, Azriel doubted he’d have even considered coming just to tell Lucien the truth about what happened if he didn’t think Lucien could help. And his moment of silence told Lucien all he needed to know, for he scoffed again. “Of course not,” He continued. “You people just love exploiting those of us without any other options and then throwing us away like garbage when we’re no longer of any use to you.”

“Then help me make this right.” Azriel pleaded. “Tell me how to get to Eris, discreetly.”

“Can’t you just free her yourself and take her to safety?”

“No, there are ancient wards in that prison. I can pass through quickly and easily, but not so much with another person. Rhys would find us within seconds if she left that cell, and kill us both.”

“Then how do you propose we get her out?”

Azriel frowned. “I’m sorry, we?”

Lucien rolled his eyes, taking a hearty swig from his glass of wine beside him. “I’m going to help you get her out.”

Azriel shook his head, not liking how many people were involved in this already. “I can’t let you.”

“Bullshit. You don’t get to tell me what to do. Not after everything you’ve done to create this mess. I’ll take you to Eris, and besides, I think I know something that can help us.”

*********************

The crisp scents of Autumn flooded Azriel’s senses as he paced the clearing. His mind whirled from his talk with Lucien, even more so at the male’s idea that they had discussed. Lucien had winnowed him here and told him to wait while he discreetly fetched Eris. It was a huge gamble – while you and Nesta had been willing to trust Eris, Azriel was not so keen. His dealings with the prince had always been tense at best, and vicious at worst. He knew he’d have to swallow his pride and put their history aside for this, however hard it may be.

Frankly, Azriel had no idea where in the Autumn Court he was. His shadows sensed nothing, no indication of where they were on the map. It briefly crossed his mind that Lucien could very well have led him into a trap as payback, but deep down Azriel knew Lucien wasn’t that type of male. However angry he might be at Azriel, he would prioritise getting you back. The clearing was massive, which made him feel far too exposed for his liking. There was a thicket of trees in the distance that he considered hiding in, but he owed it to Lucien to do as he was instructed and wait here.

It felt like hours before a strong gust of wind blew his tousled locks out of his forehead, and the presence of something Azriel could only describe as sheer power slammed into him like a wall. A thunderous roar sounded from the skies, unlike anything the shadowsinger had ever heard before. But nothing could have prepared him for the sight before him.

Three large dragons were flying ahead, circling above the clearing. Their wings were like claps of thunder, nearly sending him backwards onto the ground. Upon the back of the large black one was the unmistakable, arrogant figure of Eris Vanserra. He held onto the spikes going down the dragon’s neck as it soared above Azriel, roaring with the ferocity of an ancient battlecry. Azriel’s jaw nearly hit the ground as he spotted none other than Nesta Archeron, riding the elegant silver dragon with her hair blowing in the wind. Her eyes were a lethal glowing silver, resembling the scales of the very beast she was mounted on.

“Mother above…” Azriel whispered, flinching as he felt the ground shake beneath him. He turned around slowly, and was met with the third dragon, a riderless one with gold scales and large horns. It snaked towards him, growling fiercely. For a moment, Azriel thought the beast would open its jaws and roast him alive, but the creature paused, growling as it glanced behind the shadowsinger.

“I must say, you are the last person I expected to come here.” Came Eris’ cocky voice. Azriel turned back around, slightly nervous at the golden dragon breathing down his neck, and was faced with the other two. Ignoring Eris, his gaze landed upon Nesta.

She was perched upon the dragon like it was a horse, or even a throne, chin high like a queen from ancient times. Azriel’s breath left his body at the sight of Nesta with her hair unbound, trailing freely down her back and shining against her blood red dress. Whichever way her gaze shifted, the dragon’s did so too. It was like watching Nesta in a mirror, only her reflection was a dragon. It unnerved Azriel, and he was well aware of his vulnerability in this situation. Not only was he in enemy court, unauthorised at that matter, but three beasts he thought only existed in stories stood beside him, in the flesh.

“Lucien said you wanted to meet.” Eris said coldly. “You have ten seconds to convince us that it’s worth our time.”

“(Y/N) will die at sunrise tomorrow if we do not do something.” Azriel blurted out clumsily.

There was a moment of silence, and Eris looked towards Nesta. Her gaze was fixed on Azriel, and he squirmed underneath it. Her silver mount growled fiercely, as if it was sharing its riders' rage.

“Are we supposed to believe that you’ve suddenly had a change of heart and care about her?”

Azriel gritted his teeth. “I’ve always cared.”

Eris snorted. “No, not truly. If you had, then we wouldn’t be having this meeting. Because you’d have done something by now and grown a spine.”

“Your brother said the same thing.” The spymaster growled, already irked by having to negotiate with the Autumn prince. “I don’t need more reminding that I’ve fucked up, Eris. I just want to save her life, and I can’t do that on my own.”

“And it’s taken you this long to come to this realisation because…” Eris raised an eyebrow, amber gaze merciless. His dragon snarled, baring its teeth menacingly.

“I didn’t know Rhys would take things this far. I thought he’d want to find out everything about the bond before he made a decision on what to do with her. But he doesn’t want to wait, he wants her gone by tomorrow.”

“I assume he ordered you to do the deed?”

Azriel nodded, throat tight. “Yes. He ordered me to collect all information on the magic they used to create the bond before I…. before I kill her. Regardless of whether I came up with anything, he wants her eliminated by sunrise.”

This was probably the stupidest, craziest decision Azriel had ever made. Part of it felt wrong, betraying his found family after 500 years of peace. But when he reflected on those centuries, had he truly been happy? Had he truly felt like he was living a fulfilled life, content with what he was doing? A few weeks ago, Azriel would have been sure of his answer. Now he wasn’t, and that unsettled him.

Regardless, reached into his bag and pulled out the books Gwyn gave him. He took a breath and continued. “Which is why I brought every document the Night Court has on this magic to you. So Rhys wouldn’t get his hands on it.”

“You went to Gwyn?” Nesta burst out, rage dripping from her tongue.

“Yes.” Azriel admitted his guilt for putting Gwyn in this precarious position intensifying.

“You put her in danger by doing that!” The eldest Archeron hissed at him, her dragon responding in a similar tone. “If anything happens to her because of it, I will slaughter you, Azriel.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Gwyn said the same thing to me about you and (Y/N). I swore no matter what happened, nobody would find out I got this through her. She even put a knife to my throat.”

Eris spoke up again. “As much as I would truly love to believe you, if I recall correctly you were perfectly content sending (Y/N) to certain death weeks ago on an impossible mission under Rhysand’s orders.”

“I was trying to find a way out of it for her!” Azriel yelled, patience snapping. “A way for her to quietly flee and go build a life for herself far away from all this shit. I never told her because I didn’t want to scare her, or get her hopes up. I had the chance to explain this to her before…”

His voice trailed off, memories of seeing you strung up like an animal flashing through his mind. Azriel was no stranger to self hatred, but today it was striking him now more than ever.

Nesta’s lethal tone interrupted his thoughts. “Before what?” She demanded.

Azriel gulped, praying that the dragons wouldn’t make him their meal. “Before Rhysand interrupted and… took over.”

“Meaning?” Eris inquired, his dragon inching ever so slightly closer to the Illyrian.

“Meaning he thought I was being too soft, since I gave her water. He stopped the physical torture and spent hours trying to get inside her head until she passed out.”

“And he didn’t manage to do it?” Eris’ voice was laced with surprise, something uncharacteristic for the Autumn prince who always seemed to be two steps ahead of everyone.

“No.”

Eris and Nesta glanced at each other, unreadable expressions crossing their faces. Their dragons continued to stare down Azriel, awaiting whatever command would give them permission to incinerate him where he stood. He had a million questions for them – how the fuck did Eris have dragons? What did Beron say about all of this? Did they still plan on taking him out? But Azriel knew better than to ask them.

Nesta swung her legs to the side and crawled down the dragon’s side. To Azriel’s awe, the beast lowered its shoulder to the ground to make it easier for the female to climb off. Gracefully, Nesta’s feet met the ground and she patted the dragon’s neck. He remained frozen in his place as she stalked towards him. Like Gwyn, there was a new strength to her. This was not the half-starved Nesta who first came to the House of Wind. No, this was the female that stole from the Cauldron itself, whose name was whispered across the moors and valleys of Prythian, associated with pure death and power. Nesta’s steps were sure, silver fire expertly curling around her fingertips like Azriel’s own shadows as she stalked towards him like a lioness seizing up its prey.

“My war is not directly with you, Azriel,” Nesta said slowly. “But make no mistake. You are not innocent here. You may not have inflicted the most damage, but you willingly stood by and let your family tear me and (Y/N) down until they got pure submission. You let Cassian mock and belittle me at my lowest. You forced (Y/M) into a job she did not want to do. You let Cassian force me to train as a warrior when that’s not at all what I wanted or needed. You didn’t do a damn thing to advocate for either of us because you’re so blinded by the sheltered little tower your circle has built over the last 500 years, ignorant to the pain you inflict on anyone who’s not a part of your family. You coming here on your own volition is the only thing in my eyes that could possibly redeem you. You will help us get (Y/N) back at all costs, or you will suffer at my hand more than you have ever suffered before.”

Being threatened for the third time that day, all Azriel could do was bow his head. “I understand.” He said.

“No, I don’t think you do.” Nesta hissed. “For your sake, let’s hope your change of heart isn’t too late.”

Azriel hadn’t even noticed Eris had climbed off his dragon and was walking towards Nesta. He stood beside her, gently resting a hand on her waist. Azriel tensed, half expecting Nesta to slap him away, but she did not. To his surprise, she looked comfortable with Eris. More so than she ever had been with Cassain. When Cassian touched Nesta, there was always some sexual suggestion beneath it. But not with Eris. Eris’ touch was comfort more than ownership, something Azriel did not expect.

In his heart, he realised Cassian and Nesta were not right for each other. It made no sense for them to be mates, and whatever they had going on was purely surface level sexual tension. There was nothing deep about it, no greater understanding of each other. Nesta and Eris seemed like a much more reasonable match, mirroring each other like they did with their dragons. As much as Azriel hated the male, and knew that these thoughts would crush Cassian’s heart, it reassured him that he had made the right choice.

“So, spymaster,” Eris piped up, cocking his head. “How are we doing to do this?”

And so Azriel began explaining.

128 notes · View notes

nitecourtfairytail · 1 year

Text

Heavy Hearts

Y’all. Formatting on tumblr SUUUUUUCKS. Just fyi. So if you wanna read this in slightly prettier format here’s the Ao3 link

Anyway, here’s chapter 9. EXPLICIT CONTENT

Rhysand is a busybody, some background info is given, Gwyn apologizes.

This is my first ever attempt at writing smut, so if it’s bad, tell me 😅

Pronunciation: Aby- AH-bee; Ommi- OH-me (like in German)

Ch. 9 Heavy (POWERS)

Rhysand couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. It had barely been two weeks since the incident at Rita’s. They were all safe and together at the townhouse (minus Mor-she texted last night saying she’d gone to Rita’s and went home with someone ‘Don’t wait up! 😉’). But the revelations from last night had his mind reeling.

He shook his head, finally vacating his cozy fortress of blankets to grab his emergency toiletries from his car. He and Az had taken over Mor’s room and Cass took the pull out couch to himself.

As he skulked down the stairs trying to not wake anyone, he overheard Cassian and Elain talking in the kitchen.

“How much I love him already. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For some kind of sign that this is a dream or a fantasy that I made up to cope with reality.”

He couldn’t help but smile despite her anxieties. He had always hoped his brother would find someone to love him how he deserved to be-plus he and Cass already loved Elain like a sister. Caught up in the moment, he didn’t notice the front door creep open. But then something moved in the shadows out of the corner of his eye. He whipped his head to see Azriel trying to sneak back in the house.

“Where the fuck were YOU?!” He whispered. “I thought you were out back smoking.”

Azriel tried to hide something behind his back, straightening up. “I just ran to your car real quick.”

“What’s behind your back?” Rhys demanded. All pretense of keeping the two in the kitchen from knowing his presence gone.

“What are you talking about?” Azriel asked. His back kept to the wall as he crept sideways along it.

“You’re the one that’s been stealing the mousse out of my car?! I knew it!” Rhysand ran toward him, but Az was able to turn the corner into the kitchen, keeping him at bay behind the table, a wry smile on his face.

“Uh…..morning?” Elain offered, unsure of what to make of the scene unfolding in front of her. “Is this how you two usually wake up?” She asked neither one in particular.

“This bastard has been stealing my mousse and blaming it on Cass for months! I finally caught him in the act!” Rhysand ‘answered.’

“Well to be fair I’ve also been using it.” Cassian shrugged

Rhysand gaped at him. “You’re both bastards! I can’t believe this!”

Elain shook her head, walking toward the door to the back porch with a refilled cup of coffee in hand “it’s too early for this. What I said last night stands. We want our security deposit back, so watch the damages.”

~~~~~~

Ten minutes later Azriel stepped out to join her. He had grabbed a blanket from the living room and wrapped it around her shoulders as he walked up behind her.

She gasped in shock, obviously deep in thought, but quickly melted into his arms.

“You scared me.” She pouted

“I’m sorry. You looked cold out here.” He rested his chin on her shoulder while rubbing her arms through the blanket to relieve any chill.

“I think I might warm up faster if you were under the blanket with me.” Her cheeks flushed when she realized she’d said it out loud.

“Elain…are you flirting with me?” He asked with a wicked grin.

She bit her lip “Maybe”. He motioned for her to stand up, taking the cream blanket with light blue polka dots off of her and draping over himself. He held the corners out wide as he sat down, wrapping around her waist and pulling her to sit on his lap. The both of them giggling like children.

“Better?” He asked, nose rubbing the column of her neck.

“Much.”

They sat together in content quiet. Resting her head on his shoulder and breathing in his scent as he peppered gentle kisses to her own. Her hands on his, rubbing small circles with her thumbs.

Azriel sat forward, wiggling his hand between the edges of the blanket to grab Elain’s cigarettes on the table. Bringing one to his lips, he lit it, inhaling a deep drag. Elain turned her head toward him, slipping her fingers into the short hair at the nape of his neck. She captured his lips in her own- stealing the smoke from his lungs before tilting her head up and blowing it away from them.

“Fuck that was hot.” He whispered as Elain giggled at his wild eyes.

The door to the porch swung open to Rhys, Feyre and the twins filing out.

Az closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Is ten minutes alone really too much to ask?”

“It is when Cassian and Nesta decide to shower together.” Feyre shivered, as if recalling the last time she’d been in the same house as them during one of their escapades. “I swear he sounds like a fucking animal. And not like ‘oh sexy. He’s an animal in bed’ but like ‘that’s an actual wild animal rutting in the forest’. It’s terrifying.”

“No, what’s terrifying is how much we’re going to have to pay to get that bathroom professionally cleaned.” Elain whispered to Azriel who tried to hide his snicker as a cough.

Feyre eyed the giggling couple “So, you never actually told us how you and Az met, Elain.” Feyre asked curiously. “I mean…. Obviously though Rhys and Cassian, but how did this” she waved her hand between the pair “come to be?”

Elain smiled as she recalled their embarrassing meet-cute.

“I did not say ‘beautiful ass’. I was sober enough to remember that I said ‘absolutely spectacular ass that I stopped to bask in the glory of’.” Azriel corrected the first words Elain ever heard him speak regarding herself. “I stand by that statement.”

“You really are an ass man, aren’t you?” Elain teased.

“I told you-I know what I like.” He responded by pinching her bottom under the blanket.

She gasped, staring at him wide eyed. “I can’t believe you did that!” She jutted her bottom lip out, pretending to cry.

“I’m sorry baby. Was it too far?” He kissed her temple, smiling as she melted into him.

“No. Just don’t make a habit of it.” She gave him a playful glare not too secretly hoping he in fact would make a habit of it.

“Don’t you have work today, brother?” Cassian and Nesta finally joined the group outside, the former clapping Azriel on the shoulder as he passed.

“Nah. I’m on paid leave while they investigate the ‘incident’ with Jurian. According to Perry they finished the investigation days ago, but he’s been holding them up to give me a little extra time off.” He tightened his hold on Elain, noticing she’d started dozing off. “So..Come on sleepyhead. I think it’s high time I take you on a real date.”

He slid his arm under her knees, standing up to carry her into the house as she squealed in surprise at the sudden movement.

~~~~~~

She wasn’t sure how to dress for this date. He refused to give her any information on where he was taking her. With autumn fully upon them now, the days we’re getting cooler. If she wore a dress she’d get cold, and while she’d love to be up against him all day, it would be uncomfortable being chilly for so long.

She chose a simple, but cute outfit. Black leggings with a white floral pattern, a simple white v neck and a black knit cardigan. She topped it off with her favorite pair of lace up heeled boots that were comfy enough to walk in for hours, but gave her ‘spectacular ass’ a little extra boost.

She threw on some eyeliner and mascara and plumped up her hair before walking downstairs to meet Azriel at the door. Rhysand gave him one of his ‘emergency’ shirts- a dark blue button down that almost looked like he was sewn into it.

“M’lady” he bowed, holdin out his arm for her. She curtsied, placing her hand on his arm “m’lord. They laughed at their own antics and walked out the door.

“So. Where are you taking me for our first date?” She skipped excitedly beside him.

“To start off, we’ll be taking a walk through the park.” He smiled at her. “Starting simple.”

“I think that sounds perfect.”

~~~~~~

“That spot right there-just past the water fountain” Azriel pointed to the trail across from them. A small playground with a few see saws and various creatures on springs in between the two “that’s where you kissed my cheek that day. I was already crazy about you, you know” he wrapped his arm around her waist, kissing her temple. He’s never been this open about his emotions. It was truly frightening how easily the words came outz

“I had a feeling” she playfully nudged him with her shoulder.

They kept on down the walkway when Elain spied the larger playground. “I’ve always loved swing sets. We didn’t get to play on them much as kids, but once I moved out I’d often find myself at the park in the middle of the night. I’d swing for hours just staring at the stars.”

“Well let’s go then.” He pulled her toward the awaiting play set. The few parents there with their children eyeing them warily.

They sat in the two farthest swings-away from little ears. “What about you? Did you and your brothers go to the playground as kids?”

He twisted back and forth in his swing “Once my parents got me, yeah. But before then..”

She smiled solemnly at him, but couldn’t think of what to say.

“I’ve never told anyone other than my brothers and Mor what happened-my life before this one.”

“You know you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to-“

“But I do want to. I want you to know everything about me. And I wanna know everything about you.” He grabbed her hand as they rocked themselves back and forth on their respective swings.

“What happened? I mean-if you want to talk about it.”

He huffed a laugh as the corners of his lips tilted upward ever so slightly. “I wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise, love.” He teased. She rolled her eyes.

“My mom lived on the continent. She met a guy, fell in love, and a few months in she found out she was pregnant with me…and he freaked. Turns out he was married with two kids already, and mom was his side chick.”

Elain kept silent except for a grunt of disgust.

“He tried to convince mom to abort me, but she refused. So he ended up having to tell his wife and she was obviously livid, but stayed with him for whatever reason-he was well off so it was probably for his money. Anyway, I was born, and mom got sole custody, but my sperm donor would visit occasionally. The last visit, he drugged her-she passed out for HOURS. And when he left he made sure to leave the door open. Apparently I had just learned to crawl and wandered outside. It was the very beginning of spring so there were still little patches of snow and ice; it wasn’t warm enough to melt it all away.”

Elain listened in horror imagining a months old baby alone and cold.

“By the time someone found me, I’d been outside so long I was blue.”

“You poor baby! Why would he do that?!”

“So he could either get rid of me or paint my mother as neglectful and vie for custody. Whether it was true or not that she was neglectful, he had the money to pay for a better lawyer…or pay off the judge I’m not sure which. He won. And I was sent to live with him and his family.”

Elain squeezed his hand, rubbing her thumb over his own.

“I wasn’t wanted by them. His wife hated me. I was kept in the unfinished basement, with a single sheet and a mattress. They gave me just enough food to survive, and that’s it. No lights. No nothing. Just darkness. His other children would come down and “play” with me-poking and prodding and hitting for their own entertainment until one day they decided to play with fire…literally.”

“Oh my gods. No.” Her eyes grew wider with fear.

“Their parents weren’t home, but one of the neighbors heard me screaming. They came running and that was the first time any of them even knew of my existence. They called the cops and took me to the ER..that’s when I met my REAL dad-the one who raised me. He was the cop assigned to my case.”

“He found my birth mom- wanted to give her a chance to redeem herself in the eyes of the court. But when I was taken from her she fell into a deep depression and turned to drugs to cope. So my parents, Drakon and his wife Miryam adopted me. Helped set up my birth mom with a rehab center, and we’re still in contact.” He smiled at the thought “Myriam-Ommi, taught me how to speak, how to read. I was the second to join the family, after Rhys. Aby-dad, transferred here not long after Cass came along to give us a fresh start.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. The rage she felt toward his birth father and his family was getting harder to control. How could someone could be so cruel to their own child?!

“How old were you?” It was all she could think of to ask.

“Six.”

She let out an angry laugh. “I’m glad you had Drakon and Myriam. And even though they’re the result of something horrific, and I know you hate them..I love your hands.”

He tilted his head, a cautiously curious look in his eyes. “No one has ever said that before.”

“They’re all fuckin idiots then. Your hands are beautiful.” She brought the one she was holding to her lips. “They’re gorgeous, and strong, and gentle, and so very sexy. Just like the rest of you.” She emphasized every adjective with a kiss.

“I think we should get out of here.”

“Why?” She asked, furrowing her brow. Had she done something wrong?

He lowered his voice to a raspy whisper, pulling the chains of their swings together “I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to be this turned on in front of innocent eyes.”

She stood up immediately, her cheeks blazing, pulling a chuckling Azriel behind her.

As soon as they were back on the walkway, he grabbed her from behind resting his chin on her shoulder and taking wide strides to not trip her up. Even he had to admit it was disgustingly cute how happy they were together.

~~~~~~

“Are your parents still around?” They were seated at a tiny little hole-in-the-wall pizza place that Azriel claimed was the best in Prythian. Sitting outside waiting for their food to come, Elain decided she wanted to know anything he was willing to tell her.

“Yeah.” He grabbed her hand across the table. “Ommi wants to meet you something fierce. Says she’s never seen me this happy before, and wants to thank the woman responsible.”

“Really?!” She beamed

“Yeah” he smiled to himself for a moment. “Aby too. He’s got a bit of a rough exterior-kinda comes with the job, I guess- but he’s always been kind to me and my brothers.”

“I’d love to meet them.” She told him sincerely. She’d never met Greysons parents. He claimed it was because his mom was agoraphobic and dad was a workaholic, but who knows how true that was. Either way, she was excited that the people who loved Azriel and gave him a better life wanted to meet her.

~~~~~~

“If I know my brother-and trust me, I do-he’ll be showing her his favorite restaurant right about now.” Rhysand whispered to Feyre.

“You know you don’t have to whisper, right? Like, they’re nowhere in sight, and even if they were they’d be across the street from us..” she gave him a look as if to say “there’s no way you’re that cute and that dumb.”

“True, but it adds to the intrigue.” He winked

Feyre rolled her eyes at him, but couldn’t contain her smile. “Why are we spying on them anyway? I don’t understand.”

“Well , Feyre, Darling, I still can’t shake the feeing that something awful is going to happen.”

“So why don’t you just tell them that instead of being weird and watching their date. This feels wrong.” She watched as they laughed and smiled easily across the table from each other. Watched as they tenderly held each other’s hands, resting them next to their plates and napkins. It felt like watching a romantic drama, but she knew the actors.

“I knew it.” Rhysand’s voice pulled her from her haze.

“That’s Gwyn at the table behind them. I recognize her from the police station.” He said flatly

They watched, enraptured by the scene unfolding before them.

~~~~~~

“Az, sweetheart…do you know that woman?” Elain whispered, frightened.

She had been staring at them for several minutes, her large teal eyes unblinking. Her face neutral, but those eyes-they shone with malice.

Azriel turned to see who was making his girlfriend so uneasy- “LOOK OUT!”

Rhysand dashed across the street avoiding vehicles and bikes, Feyre right on his heels.

He tackled Azriel. “What the fuck, man?!” Azriel stood up, pushing his brother in the chest.

“It looked like she was reaching for a weapon!” Az followed his brother’s outstretched arm to finally notice Gwyn standing at the table behind them, her hand reaching inside her coat.

Gwyn’s eyes grew wide “No!” She finished pulling out her wallet to show everyone “I was sitting here long before Az and his girlfriend got here, but I wanted to apologize for the incident at the police station! I was gonna pay their bill!”

“Why did you look so angry, then” Elain asked, checking Azriel for any bumps or bruises from his brother’s tackle.

“I was just deep in thought..I’ve been told I have resting bitch face.” Gwyn glanced around the small group gathered and sighed.“I know you have no reason to trust me or even like me, but, can we please sit down and let me explain?”

Elain placed a gentle hand on Azriel’s arm. “I think we can do that, right?” She looked at him earnestly

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Have a seat.”

Rhysand, Feyre, and Gwyn pulled up chairs for themselves.

“Go on, It’s okay.” She gently said to the redhead.

Gwyn took a deep breath “Alright. Well.. Honestly, it starts when I was a kid. My mom, sister and I were kicked out of our community. Mom grew up sheltered and was very naive, and was taken advantage of-my twin sister, Catrin and I being the outcome..but when the community elders discovered not only were we born out of wedlock, but from a ‘forced joining’ (as they called it), she was considered impure and not allowed back.”

“Mom was lost. She never lived without her community and she longed for that kinship again..and when Cat and I were three, she found it. Unfortunately…it turned out to be a cult. Their teachings really fucked with my head. But what’s worse, mom and my sister..they started doubting the leader. So they were killed. I found them the next morning, and had a full on psychotic break.

I was only sixteen…found alone three days later in nothing but a slip, two hours from where I lived. No car, nothing. I have no clue how I got there to this day. But I received medical care, got on medication, and have been able to live a mostly normal, but quiet life.”

She looked to Azriel, “Our boss-Helion-he’s a good man. A good person, and he gave me a chance at a normal job that I enjoyed. He’s been aware of my mental issues since day one-I’m very open about them on job applications. Anyway, I ran into some financial trouble at home, between my student loans, and some issues at home (that my landlord refuses to fix) and couldn’t afford my meds..and I had another meltdown.”

“So I was just the person you latched on to?” Azriel asked thoughtfully

“Yeah.” She said bashfully “You were always nice to me when you came in the office.” Gwyn looked at Elain “Plus he’s hot, so, there’s that.” Elain nodded profusely while giggling.

Azriel flushed as she continued “I guess in my mixed up head that meant you were my boyfriend, and Jurian, the asshole that he is took advantage of my mental state and goaded me further. I’m so sorry, Azriel. I truly can’t tell you enough how sorry I am.”

“It’s okay, Gwyn. Now that I know what happened, I understand. You’re back on your medication now?” He needed to be sure she was okay.

“Yeah. Helion’s wife, Sergeant Otoño, has been kind enough to make sure I have enough until I’m able to afford them again, and they’ve been helping me with my financial issues.”

“I’m glad” he told her honestly.

Elain piped up “you know” she said more to herself than anyone else “I think you’d fit in with our friends pretty well. We all have tragic backstories-at the very least you’d be able to commiserate.” She gave Gwyn a warm smile. “I have the strangest feeling you and my sister, Nesta, would get along really well.”

The two women smiled fondly at one another before Gwyn stood.

“Thank you so much for your kindness, Azriel, Elain, and I’m sorry again for frightening everyone.” She laid down some cash on the table. “For your dinner. You two look happy together.”

“Keep it.” Az said. You can make it up to us by hanging out sometime. Maybe one of our weekly ‘framily’ dinners.”

“Thanks. I’d like that.” She began walking off, calling over her shoulder “I’ll see you around work sometime. It was nice to meet you all!”

“That was really sweet of you, Az” Elain gazed at him lovingly, leaning closer for a gentle kiss. Without turning her head, she pointed at Feyre and Rhysand who were carefully trying to extract themselves from the situation.

“You two” She growled, startling even Azriel. “I forgive you for the intrusion. I know you were simply worried about us. But next time, for Cauldron’s sake, please just call.”

~~~~~~

No cars were in the driveway, and only the living room lamp beside the couch left on. “I think your guilt trip worked” Azriel mused as they walked into the empty townhouse.

“It wasn’t a guilt trip.” Elain huffed, making her way toward the staircase. “Not intentionally anyway, but..I think you’re right.” Elain suddenly felt very nervous. She’d been wanting this time alone with him for days, but now… now she wasn’t sure.

“Do you-“ she said at the same time as his “what would-“ they both laughed anxiously.

“I feel like I’m sixteen again..bringing a girl home and having no clue what to do.” Az joked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m kind of feeling the same way. I- Azriel, I WANT to be physical with you.” She hadn’t turned around. Too scared that if she saw him she’s lose her nerve to speak.

He stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle. “Anything we do together is on your terms, baby. You tell me to stop, I will. No questions asked.”

“I know…” she fell silent. Enjoying the feel of his arms around her. “I’m just nervous…like a good nervous-for the most part at least..”

“Why don’t we just cuddle up, watch a movie or something, and see where things go naturally? And if it becomes too much, say the word and we’ll go back to cuddling.” He suggested. “Besides. I like holding you.” He smiled against her temple, pressing a gentle kiss to her skin.

A shaky hand held out behind her lead him up the staircase and into her room. It truly was like the first time again. They awkwardly sat next to each other on her bed while she fumbled around for her Roku remote.

It didn’t matter what she put on to watch, that tension filled the air. She settled for Bridgerton.

In an effort to ease some of the tension, Azriel placed his arm around her shoulders, lying back on the pillow with a hand behind his head. In his mind he thought it was silly, they’ve already kissed. He’s seen her topless. They’ve both been with other people before..Why were they acting so unsure of themselves now?

She slowly began to relax into him. First with her head on his shoulder. Her arm slid around his waist a few minutes later with Azriel’s falling from her shoulder to her hip. Not long after that she wasn’t even looking at the tv-her leg between his, halfway on top of him. Peppering small kisses along his jaw and neck drawing ragged breaths from him.

“Elain, love” his voice low and gravelly “you’re making it very hard to watch your show.” He was kneading the plush skin under his hand with every move she made, trying to restrain himself.

“I’m making it hard?” She teased, pulling away to look at him with hooded eyes, a tiny coy smile playing on the edge of her lips.

“Very.” He replied.

“Do you want me to make it harder?” She replied, biting her lip, as she moved to sit atop his lap.

Elain had never gone that far. She’d joke and make silly innuendos but that lust filled gaze and her raspy voice went far beyond kidding around. Azriel had no clue how far she wanted things to go. This was uncharted territory.

Her hands desperately searched for skin contact-reaching for the buttons on his shirt. He sat up and tore it off in one swift motion, tossing it aside. Her eyes grew more molten by the second as they roamed the wide breadth of his torso. Taking in every inch of black ink entwined with pink scars.

“You’re gorgeous.” She told him.

She leaned down pressing light kisses to every scar. Tracing her tongue along the ink. He knew she could feel him growing harder under her. He ached against his jeans, but refused to buck up against her. Not yet.

Elain sat up, pulling her shirt over her head. He reached around her back, undoing the clasp of her bra in one snap. “You’re gonna have to teach me that trick” she giggled as she tossed it in their growing pile of clothing.

He brought her face to his own, erupting in a bruising kiss. In an Instant he had flipped them over, trailing wet kisses along her throat down to her breasts.

“May I?” He asked. She had barely nodded yes before he his mouth was on her. Running his tongue in circles around her soft bud, bringing it to a peak around the steel before gently nipping with his teeth. She bucked against him in response. “You like that baby?” He laughed in surprise

He did the same to the other one-Sucking and licking to make it hard and softly grazing his teeth. She bucked again, letting out a soft moan.

Azriel began kissing down her body once again, stopping just above her leggings with his fingers hooked into the elastic. He looked up at her, her eyes half closed in pleasure. “Remember, my love: say the word and I stop. Don’t force yourself to do anything.”

She pulled him back to her locking him into a fierce, passionate kiss. She pulled away, looking him in the eyes “I trust you. I’ll tell you if we need to change tactics.”

That was all he needed. He returned to his position, pulling her leggings down. His eyes never straying from her own, watching for any indication it was too much. He finally looked down…to see she was bare.

He groaned with need. “No panties, Lain? He asked in disbelief. Her breathing becoming more ragged, her smooth sex glistening with arousal.

“I had hoped this would happen.” She admitted shyly.

“Tell me what you want, love.” He said as he began suckling her thigh, closer and closer to her gleaming center.

“I..I’ve never..” her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

Azriel couldn’t help the slight edge in his voice “You were together for almost two years… and he never tasted you?!“ he asked incredulously. “No one has?”

She shook her head.

“Do you want me to?”

She nodded.

“No. I need to hear it baby.” He needed to be sure.

“Please” her voice barely above a whisper “Please eat my pussy.”

He huffed a laugh to himself, his male pride and desire thrumming through him. Positioning himself between her thighs, he drug his tongue between her folds with a broad stroke “Fuck.” he groaned. She instantly became his favorite drug, her taste intoxicating.

That first taste snapped the last tether of his restraint. He feasted. Lips and tongue working in tandem; He was a man starved, and she his personal buffet.

The sounds coming from her were absolutely sinful-The moans of pleasure, squeals of delight a melody backed by the rhythmic obscene squelches coming from her dripping core. It became a song he longed to hear on repeat. She tangled a brazen hand in his hair, holding him in place as she began writhing against him. He hummed in satisfaction knowing he was the first, the only, man to have her this way-free and unashamed of chasing her release.

Cautiously, he brought a hand up beside his face, wanting to draw every ounce of pleasure from her until she was a boneless heap before him. She felt a digit graze against her passage and her eyes shot open.

“Wait.” He stopped everything, looking up in concern.

“Not there.” She swallowed audibly. “L-lower.” She held her breath as she stared at him anxiously; Clearly anticipating a negative reaction.

“With pleasure.” He felt his cock twitch at her demand, absolutely positive he had never been this hard in his life.

He began working her center again. Taking long stokes further and further down until his tongue grazed her back entrance. He watched her face as she allowed herself to enjoy the sensations of his mouth on her.

He rose back to her pussy, fucking her with his tongue as he slowly eased his finger into her ass, gently loosening the tight hole. Another gush of arousal poured from her as he began fingering her in earnest. Her grip on his hair tightened.

“Az-fuck! M’close” her nonsensical moans grew louder and louder. She began fucking herself on his face and hand, writhing against him. With one last flat stoke against her clit, he felt her begin to clench, screaming out his name as wave after wave wracked through her. He lapped up every bit, unwilling to waste a drop.

He only withdrew his finger once she’d come down from her high eliciting a small whimper. “Holy shit.” Was all she said as she fought to catch her breath.

“Are you okay, Lain?” He asked as he laid down beside her, scooping her into his arms.

“I’ve never cum that hard in my life. I’m fucking amazing.” She turned toward him, kissing him passionately. The taste of herself on his lips sent a new gush of arousal through her core. She pulled back to look him in the eyes, her own gleaming wickedly “And now it’s your turn my love.”

She noticed the apprehension on his face. “Trust me. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t want to do it.” She kissed him again. “Now take off your pants, mister.”

She didn’t have to tell him twice. He stood up, making quick work of his pants and boxer briefs until he stood bare before her.

Her eyes grew wide as they took in his member. Not one to brag, but Azriel knew he was large-All of the women he’d been with found him difficult to take.

“Azriel” his eyes were immediately on hers. “I won’t lie to you and say I’m not nervous. Obviously I haven’t done anything with a partner since..him. But I used to enjoy this and I’d like to try with you..”

“I’m happy to be your test subject” he teased. She rolled her eyes at him. “That’s not-“

“I know that’s not what you meant.” His face softened “Elain. I am yours, completely. In every way imaginable. I want to see you grow stronger and more comfortable in your skin…and sexuality. I want to grow with you; we’re learning together.”

She stood up and kissed him gently. “I love you so much, Azriel.”

“I love you too, Elain.”

She playfully pushed him away from her, a mischievous glint in her eyes. He watched her curiously while she fell to her knees in front of him.

“If I tap your leg once, I want you to take over.” She said matter of factly. He still wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t dreaming.

“If I tap it once again after you take over, I want you to thrust harder. And if I tap twice in a row, I want you to stop.”

She looked up at him, full of trust. She was laying herself a different kind of bare- Allowing him into her wants and needs; learning her rules.

She leaned forward on her knees, grabbing his length by the base. Her small hand courts hardly fit all the way around.

She licked along his shaft, collecting the bead of liquid at the tip. Placing her lips around his glistening head she began bobbing, taking more in her mouth each pass. She looked up at him from under her lashes, catching the glassy eyed look on Azriel’s face.

His head lulled back as she took more of him into her mouth. His eyes closed. A hand gripped her hair to ground himself. The feel of her soft lips around him-the look of her hollowed out cheeks as she sucked was almost more than he could take. She hummed in satisfaction when he hit the back of her throat. “Fuck, baby. You take my cock so fucking good.” He moaned.

It spurred her on more. She pushed past the edge of her throat taking him farther. No one had ever deep throated him. She grabbed the back of his thighs forcing him down further and further until her nose was buried in the patch of hair above the base of his cock.

She tapped his leg. He looked down at her wide eyed. “You’re sure?” She looked up at him nodding as much as she could. “I-I’ll start slow.” He agreed, nervously-terrified of hurting her.

True to his word he started slowly thrusting into her mouth. Keeping about the same pace she had. She tapped him again and he started fucking her throat harder, nerves dissipating watching her cheeks hollow. “Fuck you look gorgeous like this. You like having my cock all the way down your throat?” She hummed in agreement. “I’ve never had anyone able to take me fully. It’s like your body was made for mine.”

She hummed again sending shivers up his spine. He wasn’t going to last much longer. She reached between her legs with one hand, rubbing small circles on her clit. “You like this too, baby? Come for me again. I want you to cum with my cock down your throat.”

With her free hand, she tapped him on the leg once more, urging him to thrust even harder. He held her head in place as he did so. His balls slapping against her chin. “Fuck, Lain. I’m close. I’m-“ she grabbed his ass pushing him as far as he could go until he came down her throat.

She released him with a small pop, falling back on her heels.

He kneeled down in front of her “Is your throat okay, Lain?” Genuine concern on his face.

She smiled lazily, still coming down from her own high. “I’m okay. Just need some water.” She rasped. “Are you? I didn’t hurt you did I?”

This woman. He shook his head, smiling back. “No, baby. Far, far from it.” He kissed her softly “I’ll go get you some water. Let your throat rest, okay? And I’ll ask you about those sexy little requests you made later.” He winked, holding back a chuckle at the sudden flush of embarrassment dusting her cheeks.

@karomdr-blog @mis-lil-red

#elriel #elriel fanfic #heavy hearts

17 notes · View notes