#I’ve been tagged for a selfie by a billion people

[turtlethon]

"Return of the Shredder"

Season 2, Episode 1

First US Airdate: November 26, 1988 First UK Airdate (Hero Turtles version): January 3, 1990

Shredder re-emerges from Dimension X with a plan to frame the Turtles.

Turtlethon continues with a look at "Return of the Shredder", the first episode of season 2 of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987). A memorable and historic episode in many ways, so apologies in advance if I go on a bit! This one is a story by season one's writers David Wise and Patti Howeth, but with a writing credit for Christy Marx.

"Return of the Shredder" is the first episode to air on the BBC in the UK as Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles at the beginning of 1990, opposite Mr Majeika on ITV; The TV scheduling equivalent of being the first jobber to lose to Goldberg.

For most UK kids, this would have been the first piece of Turtles media they'd ever seen. And without any knowledge of S1, it raises a lot of questions. As mentioned in the "Turtle Tracks" recap, things like the comic adaptation and trading cards would do a lot of heavy lifting to fill in the gaps. The other notable thing is there's STILL a lot of ninja content in this episode, and some weapons use. It was largely edited out of the Hero Turtles version but the BBC took it upon themselves to make at least one additional edit.

2021 UPDATE: When I first revisited this episode in January 2020, I only had access to a German dub of the Hero Turtles version for comparison purposes. Since then I’ve been able to acquire multiple English language VHS releases of the TMHT edit of Return of the Shredder, so I’ll discuss the changes made in a separate post.

This episode opens with Michelangelo and Leonardo witnessing a robbery while shopping for groceries. They make short work of the crooks and after making their escape, April interviews the cashier about the incident for the Happy Hour News.

The German dubbers took some interesting liberties when they adapted the above interaction between April and Burne Thompson.

USA version

APRIL: They're heroes, I tell you!

BURNE: Bushwa!

German dub

APRIL: They're heroes, I tell you!

BURNE: BULLSHIT!

This episode includes the first appearance of Burne's girlfriend Tiffany, whose shtick is that she finds turtles disgusting. She considers anyone that defends them a "lousy turtle lover".

(Tiffany definitely went on to become one of those MAGA blondes that has a selfie of themselves in the car wearing giant shades as their userpic)

We then get a scene where the Turtles explain at length their connections to Splinter and Shredder, no doubt much to the relief of anyone watching the Hero Turtles run.

One of the first major turtle mix-ups here, where Raph is depicted talking at length but has Leo's voice. There's a way better one later on in this ep though.

Splinter has a vision that Shredder is about to return. I'd forgotten about this aspect of his character, where he has some vague mystical sixth sense about things and isn't just a wise old man that got turned into a rat. I kinda hate it to be honest.

Krang teleports Shredder to Central Park(?) where he's approached by two knife-wielding muggers, all of which remains intact in Hero Turtles. Why are nunchucks verboten and knives aren't? Your guess is as good as mine...

Shredder sees off the muggers by chopping a branch off a tree that kinda falls in front of them. They're so impressed that they give all THEIR money to HIM and run away.

This isn't even the only time in this episode that he gets people on-board by just wrecking up the place.

At the Slash-For-Cash Dojo, Shredder encounters Smash, voiced by Peter Cullen in sadly his only TMNT '87 appearance.

Ironically, Smash looks nothing like Smash from famous WWF tag team Demolition (Barry Darsow) but kinda does resemble his partner Ax (Bill Eadie).

Persuasion, the Shredder Way:

1) Walk in to someone's place of business and announce you're in charge now

2) When they object, destroy their property

3) Everyone will be so impressed they'll immediately fall in line

London, Tokyo, Paris, Washington. I'm impressed that Channel 6 is apparently so well-connected, considering we typically only ever see about four people working there

Over an unspecified amount of time Shredder turns Smash's useless students into super ninjas. They're all presented with spiffy turtle shell tunics.

WHO MADE THESE? Was Shredder up all night on the sewing machine meticulously crafting turtle outfits for the entire class?

The fake turtles go on a crime spree that mostly involves Smash karate-chopping cash registers and kicking bank vaults while the others watch, making the time Shredder spent training his pupils seem completely worthless. This soon makes the news, and the Turtles end up being blamed.

Shredder breaks into the asylum where Baxter is being held and they escape. They don't take the guy who thinks he's Napoleon with them, and frankly the rest of the series will be a little worse off as a result.

April's Turtlecom has a tiny satellite sticking out of the side of it.

Not a satellite dish, an actual satellite, the kind that orbits the Earth from space.

Donatello what are you doing

I love this scene where the animation just flakes out.  

Raphael = Leonardo

Leonardo = Leonardo

"Something strange has happened, now there are TWO Optimus Primes!"

5.1 billion people on Earth in 1988, and only two of them could teach a person this very nuanced method of kicking a door in.

Bizarrely, these lines of dialogue from Burne and April were sampled in Turtle Rhapsody Remix (from the 1990 TMNT movie soundtrack).

A recurring theme of the series later on will be that Shredder doesn’t know where the Turtle Lair is located, but Baxter just found it six episodes in. I guess they had to relocate after this.  

Our heroes soundly defeat Smash’s minions and grill him for info. He tells them where Shredder is, and they’re on their way.

The whole thing ends with the Turtles tracking down a kidnapped Splinter, some convoluted hi-jinks involving Baxter's rat-catcher and a battering ram, and the bad guys getting away. Pretty standard stuff.

April exposes the Crooked Turtle Gang as imposters. An infuriated Tiffany demands Burnsie debate her in the free marketplace of ideas.

The show ends with the turtles arguing about who April was winking at in her news report, only for her to break reality by responding from within the TV that it was intended for Splinter.

“Return of the Shredder” is a notable outing in a number of ways, particularly given that it ended up being the de facto first episode of Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Putting that aside, it also expands on some ideas developed in the first season about the media shaping the public perception of the Turtles, something that we’ll see more of in the future (in “Turtles on Trial” next season, for example). The idea of the team being framed for crimes committed by someone else will pop up again even sooner, in “Invasion of the Punk Frogs”.

Sadly, neither Peter Cullen nor Smash will appear in TMNT after this. Other Transformers alumni will appear in guest roles throughout the series though. One character introduced here who will return is Tiffany, who we’ll see again next season.

As I alluded to previously, this episode was heavily edited to bring it in line with the BBC’s broadcast standards, in fact it might actually be the most censored in the entire run. Some of the changes made are downright ridiculous, and I’ll cover them in a future post.

#TMNT #TMNT 1987 #Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #Turtlethon #ninja turtles #Return of the Shredder #1988

[angelicthor]

billion dollar man - part 11

pairing: tony stark x reader

summary: after mounting bills and debt cause you to look at alternative means of making money, you’re thrown into a whole different kind of life when one of the most famous billionaires on the block offers to be your sugar daddy, of course in exchange for a different from of payment. non-superhero au.

warnings/genre: +18 only, sugarbaby/daddy relationship, slightly nat-centric chapter, FLUFF

masterlist | billion dollar man masterlist

a/n: this is the last of the reuploads! the next chapter is gonna be brand spanking new (and its super long oops), as always please let me know what you think! 

Staying up with Tony in his lab become routine for you after that night, whether it be going down with him knowing he couldn’t sleep or waking up to an empty bed and seeking him out, Tony’s lab soon became a familiar place to you. Sometimes Tony would work and talk to you as he did and others you simply went down there to sleep, curling up with a blanket on an empty workbench wanting him to know that he wasn’t alone, and you were happy to see that little by little Tony was indeed joining you to sleep more and more.

He still didn’t sleep enough but it was a start and one you would happily take.

Nat’s birthday was fast approaching, and you had helped everywhere you could with the planning, the moulin rouge themed party bigger than anything you had ever seen before in your life. Nat sure as hell had gone the full mile for this and nearly everything was ready, the both of you were shopping for your outfits today but there was one thing you had yet to do: get her a birthday present.

I mean, what do you buy for someone who has everything?

You had racked your brain for days and the closer her birthday got the more you began to panic. You were meeting up with Nat later and you wanted to have some sort of idea before you did so you could drop some subtle hints and test for a reaction before you actually bought anything.

The paper with ‘Nat’s present ideas’ scribbled at the top was void of any other writing – the same as it had been for the past 5 days – and with a huff you jumped from the couch, dropping the pen you were twiddling in your hands as you went off in search of Tony.

Tony was sitting in his office, eyes mulling over the papers in front of him when you sat yourself on his lap, arms wrapping around his neck as you nuzzled into his neck. Although his eyes never left the papers on the desk, a ghost of a smile played at his lips at the feeling of you pressed tightly against him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be meeting Nat soon?” Tony murmured, pressing a kiss against your forehead as his hand gripped your waist keeping you close to him.

“I am but I have a problem.”

Tony’s eyes snapped up to yours, worry filling them instantly at your words as his gaze washed over you, searching for any signs of injury or distress. Unable to find any, Tony quirked a brow at you, leaning back in his chair as he gave you his full attention, “What’s wrong?”

“I have zero ideas on what to get Nat for her birthday and I don’t have long left! What if I can’t find anything in time and then I’m the only one that hasn’t got her anything and then I’ve hurt her-”

“Wait, wait; that’s what’s bothering you?” Tony asked you incredulously, staring at you with a slack jaw before he started to chuckle at your expense, “Y/N, baby, you don’t have to worry about that. Presents aren’t really a thing in this world, presents are pre-bought and delivered to parties by the host. It’s a little redundant to ask people to get you stuff when you already know exactly what you want and can afford it easily, this way there’s no disappointment or drama of ‘oh they never bought me anything’, you know?”

“Wait so no one gets anyone any presents? Ever? That seems really… cold. I mean, for me, presents were never about how much money someone spent or if it was something I really wanted, the best presents were those personal things that only that person could have thought to have got you. You know, the inside jokes and the special memories that only you have together.”

Tony watched you with a fond expression as your teeth worried at your bottom lip, troubled that gift giving simply wasn’t a custom here, one side of his mouth curling in an adoring smirk. “You’re something else, you know that?” He murmured, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, finger grazing your cheek before he gently pulled you into a sweet kiss, “Don’t worry about Nat beautiful, she’s just happy to have you as a friend, trust me there’s not much out there that she doesn’t already own anyway.”

The sound of your ringtone cut through the room, Tony pressing one final lingering kiss to your lips before he let you go, watching as you pulled the phone from your pocket and saw the photo of you and Nat lighting up the screen. You smiled at the picture before you swiped to answer it, leaving Tony’s office as you headed to fetch your jacket, the phone pressed to your ear as you listened to Nat eagerly tell you how excited she was.

“Anyway, I’m sitting outside waiting for you to make an appearance so hurry the fuck up!” Nat cut the phone off without so much as letting you say ‘bye’ and you could only chuckle at her impatience. 

You stared at the photo of the two of you once more before it faded from the screen, the cogs in your brain starting to slowly turn as an idea began to form for her present. Clicking on your photos you scrolled through the many pictures you had stored there of you, Nat, and the rest of the gang – the silly selfies and off-guard shots brought a smile to your face and you remember the look Nat had when she saw your first photo together, the naturalness of it was something she was unfamiliar with, telling you that the only real photos she had where from professional photographers or paparazzi and she had practically begged you to send it to her.

That’s when it hit you like a tonne of bricks, the perfect present for Nat; a photo album filled with personal photos of her and Sam and her friends. Grinning to yourself, you pocketed the phone and dashed out the front door to meet with Nat, practically flinging yourself into her car as she laughed at your enthusiasm.

“Wow Y/N, keep this up and people might thing you actually missed me,” Nat teased as the car pulled off towards the designer stores Nat had requested you go to.

Given that Nat was throwing a Moulin Rouge themed party, it was no surprise she was requesting that people dress appropriately and when Natasha Romanoff requested something only a fool would say no. She had asked you to come shopping with her for her outfit, wanting your opinion before she purchased something and giving you the opportunity to get yours as well.

Entering the store, you were blown away by the various outfits on display; beautiful corsets embedded with diamonds on mannequins in the window whilst luxurious feather fans and headdresses lined the shelves. One thing you did notice however, was that the store was near empty, the only other people in it bar you and Nat seemed to work there but before you could question it, one of the women were approaching you with a wide grin.

“Miss Romanoff! We’re so glad to see you; per your request this is completely private so feel free to browse at your leisure and myself and Mary-Anne are here to help you with anything you need,” The woman - who’s name tag read Julianne - informed you, holding her arms out wide to gesture to the empty store.

You arched a brow at Nat in disbelief and she only gave you a sly smirk in response before dragging you over to look through everything in the store. Mary-Anne brought you both a glass of champagne as you surveyed everything in the store, Nat holding things against her body for some idea of how it would look, adding the one’s she liked to her every growing pile to try on later.

Nat also forced you to pick out the ones you liked, adding them to your own pile but you were far more reluctant than her, the idea of wearing something so form-fitting and revealing in front of so many people making you apprehensive.

Heading to the back where the changing rooms were you both tried outfits on for the other, leaving your favourites until last of course, and giving each other opinions on what looked good and what you could pair it with.

Whilst you changed into your final outfits, you called out to Nat through the wall of the dressing room; “Hey Nat, once we’re done here do you want to get a massage? My back is killing me.”

“Yeah of course, what did you do?”

Unable to think of an excuse you tried to brush of Nat’s concern, but you should have known by now that it wouldn’t have been that easy, “Oh, it’s nothing, just a little stiff is all.”

“Y/N.”

You could hear the warning tone in Nat’s voice as you finished adjusting your corset, cringing before you slowly opened the door and saw her standing there with her arms crossed and brow raised like a disappointed mother.

Glancing behind you at Julianne and Mary-Anne you made sure they were occupied and not eavesdropping, grabbing Nat’s arm and moving her further away from the two just to be safe before you told her the truth.

“It’s just, Tony’s being doing really well with therapy and he is sleeping more but he still spends a lot of time in the lab, so I started going down there with him; sometimes I can stay awake but sometimes I sleep on one of the work benches down there and it’s not exactly been great for my back.”

Nat’s expression morphed into one of concern, moving closer to reassuringly grip your forearms, “Why are you sleeping in the lab, why are you even down there to begin with when Tony has a perfectly good mattress to sleep on upstairs? Is he making you do this because I-”

“No! Nat, god no he doesn’t ask me to do it it’s just – I just don’t want him to feel alone you know? I think that’s always been part of the problem for him,” You mused, Nat nodding her head slowly in understanding, “Please don’t tell Tony Nat, he’ll only feel guilty and it’s not his fault I promise, besides it’s nothing a little massage therapy won’t fix.”

“Hey, you never have to worry about me telling anybody anything ok? You’re my best friend, your trust means everything to me, I’ll take it to the grave I promise but I do have one question; are you sure that what you feel for Tony is just ‘friendship’ or whatever bullshit you said this arrangement is?”

You froze at Nat’s question; you knew that you were worried about Tony, who wouldn’t be? And you’d do anything to help him. But you’d do the same for any of your friends. Wouldn’t you?

You did have to admit that whatever lines you did have were beginning to become blurred but whether it was extending past platonic at this point you couldn’t decipher and you knew it was dangerous territory to try to at this point.

Swallowing against the dryness in your throat, you shook your head of the dazed feeling that had come over you, giving Nat a soft smile in reassurance. “We’re just friends Nat, I promise.”

Nat hesitated for a moment and you panicked thinking she was going to question you more but to your relief she simply grinned and took your hand in hers, leading you to the huge mirror so you could appreciate what you and she were wearing.

“Wow, you look good,” You complimented, eyes wandering over her very eye-catching outfit. Nat’s outfit consisted of a corseted bodysuit and was completely embellished in tiny silver diamonds with black diamond detailing that caught every ounce of light, making her shimmer with every slight movement. The outfit was finished off with fishnet tights that had diamonds sown into them and black silk gloves that ended at her wrists, a black top hat with a diamond completed the ensemble and if you didn’t know any better you would think she was off to perform any second now.

Nat could sure as hell rock this look that was for sure.

“Correction; WE look fucking amazing,” Nat said with a pointed look, linking her arm through yours as you smiled at her reflection.

You did have to admit that you liked what you saw, the idea of wearing to Nat’s birthday party seemed less daunting then it did half an hour ago and you sure as hell couldn’t wait for a certain billionaire philanthropist to see you in it.

Unlike Nat’s outfit, yours came in two separate pieces, a blush pink satin corset and a matching pair of panties, the corset had minor diamond detailing on it - compared to Nat’s which was covered completely in them - but it did have a diamond fringe that followed the along the bottom of the corset, creating a V shape on your front and behind. There was a diamond embellished garter strap that came down from the corset and attached to the matching pink hold-ups you were wearing. Your white silk gloves reached your elbow and you had a white and pink feather piece clipped into your hair.

You both admired each other in the mirror some more before your eyes met Nat’s in the reflection, smiling at her as you linked your hands together, “You’re my best friend too ya know, well, you and Wanda.”

Much to your surprise Nat pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and you froze at the unexpected gesture before you melted into her touch, wrapping your arms firmly around her as you returned the embrace.

The two of you were pulled apart when Julianne asked if everything was ok or if there was anything else that you needed.

“Everything’s great: we’re definitely gonna be taking these.” Nat answered, the both of you heading back into the dressing rooms to quickly change back into your clothes.

Nat finished everything with the order and even paid for your outfit even though you told her not to and Mary-Anne arranged the delivery to be sent to Tony’s apartment given that you would be getting ready there. You didn’t understand why you couldn’t just take the one you had tried on home, but Nat explained that they were only for show, not for sale, the ones you both would be wearing would be made to order and delivered to you.

After a successful day of shopping together, you went out for lunch at Nat’s favourite bistro chatting more about her upcoming party and what she had planned, both of you laughing over the boys’ latest shenanigans before she asked you if she could meet Wanda. The request took you by surprise but what shocked you more was the fact that the Natasha Romanoff looked nervous, your wide eyes and slack jaw morphed into a warm smile as you reached across the table and took her hand in yours, telling her that you’d love for her to get to know Wanda at which a relieved smile played at her lips.

The conversation soon returned to the usual and you and Nat headed off to get massages, having the kinks and knots in your back worked out felt heavenly and the day you two had spent together had put you in amazing spirits so much so that as soon as Nat had dropped you back off at Tony’s you had headed back out to gather everything you needed to make Nat’s birthday present.

And that’s how Tony found you, sitting on the floor of his living room, an open scrap book in front of you and a stack of photos to your left, scissors, glitter, glue, and stickers surrounding you as you decorated the pages surrounding the photos you had glued to the center.  

Tony simply allowed himself to watch you unnoticed for a minute longer, allowing himself to take in the enthusiasm you crafted the book together with, the sparkle in your eyes and pleased grin on your lips causing him to smile too, your happiness far too contagious to be ignored.

He couldn’t quite place what it was about you that made you so damn special; your kind heart, your selflessness, your loyalty and dedication, the fact that you could – not matter the situation – get him to laugh, the way you had taken every single one of his problems in your stride, he honestly didn’t know. Tony was beginning to suspect that he would never understand how anyone could be so astounding without even realising but as he watched you carefully add glitter to the page you were working on, tongue poking slightly out as you concentrated on your design, he knew that he had never made a greater choice then when he chose you.

a/n: i don’t have a tag list but if you want alerts please follow @angelicthorwrites and turn on notifications

#tony stark x reader #tony x reader #tony stark x you #tony x you #tony stark series #angelicthorwrites

[margaretsmedia]

Prompt #15: Free Choice - The Backstory of an Instagram Post

On February 17, I celebrated my fifteenth birthday. That must have been a happy, carefree day, you might think. However, I’ve realized that where my birthdays used to be more intimate and focused on time spent with loved ones, my attention is now more fixated on my online presence during the occasion. This is incredibly stressful to manage, yet I do it anyway because social media has taught me to value the shallow, empty birthday wishes from distant acquaintances more than the real-life messages from the people I’m closest to. 

I always feel the need to put an Instagram post up on the morning of my birthday. This is because if I don’t do it really quickly the moment that I wake up, I’ll miss the opportunity for people to wish me a happy birthday online. If I were to put something on my 24-hour story instead of a post, people would see it for a brief period and possibly message me. If my first action is to put out a post, their birthday message will be permanently in my comments section for me to look back on. I must make sure to respond to each and every ‘Happy birthday’ comment so that people know I’m appreciative. So by doing this, I am constructing the way everyone else - as well as I - will remember my birthday on social media. 

About a week before my birthday I began thinking about how I should gather everything I needed for the birthday post. I began by planning an outfit and a background for my picture. I needed to take it in the morning, when the sun shines through my window and provides good lighting. I needed to tidy up anything that might be in the way of the shot. When my background was perfect, I then spent twenty minutes taking about a billion pictures.

Even though they may all look the same to you, I spent an hour meticulously picking through these photos and choosing just the one I looked the best in. This is an example of how media is a construction, because I am choosing to only let my followers see me the way I want them to. 

I then put the picture into multiple editing apps to enhance it further.

I used one app called VSCO to lighten the exposure, increase the saturation and add filters. Then I used an app called Facetune to edit the way I looked in the photo. The app lets me correct small things about my appearance, like making my teeth whiter and concealing blemishes, to generally make myself look more polished. It also has a ‘reshape’ option which lets you change the size and shape of your features. However I have to be careful editing my photo too much or else it will be obvious to my followers. This is the before and after of my selfie

After my picture was ready I uploaded it to my Instagram app. You may think this was the end, but I still had plenty more to do. The hardest part was for me to think of a caption that sounds artsy, but not like I was trying too hard. 

Finally, I had to plan out the tags in my photo. I spent a while tagging all my closest friends and making sure I didn’t forget anyone because I know it would hurt their feelings if they weren’t included (trust me, I’ve been in that position before). This is an example of how Instagram follows concept question #5 which states that form and content are closely related in media. By making this feature, the creators know that we will feel obligated to include all of our friends in the tags list, as we are hardwired to want to feel like we are surrounded by people. They have shaped the app so that we can “express ourselves” by showing people who our friends are. (This also allows Instagram to make money out of knowing exactly who our friends are. 

After the long process of constructing what my followers will see when they open my post, this is the finished product. 

After reading about how much I constructed my post to be ready for my feed, it must seem surprising that people still think it’s just a spontaneous picture. However, I know people fall for it, because I fall for the exact same thing every single time I look at my feed. Everyone follows the same process of posting, but somehow when we see other people’s pictures, we forget all of this. But why do we forget that it is a construction? Is it human nature (and Instagram’s algorithm) to get lulled into the beauty of the images? Or are we just willing to put the skeptic thoughts away in order to be entertained? 

After all, Instagram is full of perfect, professionally photographed photos of Instagram influencers, celebrities and singers like Billie Eilish, Ariana Grande, and Jeffree Star - that attract us with their stunning pictures in order to get people to buy their sponsored product, putting more money into their pockets.

 They are a perfect example of key concept #3, because all media have commercial implications. Despite the fact that these posts are shot and edited in order to look pretty and make money, I somehow feel the need to look just as good with my selfies.

Even though I recognized the stress that I put myself under in order to create the “perfect” Instagram post, all the hardships felt worth it when I saw the floods of comments wishing me a happy birthday, even from people I barely knew. Why? Because my desire to be recognized for my birthday on social media felt more important than my actual birthday. 

#please give me a good grade Mr. Light

[rosyyeols]

helloooo @sweet-teeth-mfs tagged me a while ago to answer some q’s!

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Studying probably, also the 10 billion films I’m trying to watch

2. What makes your day better?

A hug from my best friend

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

My final was EASY. Easy peasy. Got it in the bag

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Edie said the smut world, which is absolutely ingenious and incredible, so I’ll take two of those

5. Are you good at giving advice?

No, not really :/

6. Do you have any mental illness?

I’ve never been officially diagnosed with anything so I’m gonna say no but I underwent a really rough patch a couple of years ago that involved undergoing testing for anxiety, and that’s all I really want to say about that.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

A couple of times I think

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Tchaikovsky and Shostakovich! They’re really incredible musicians

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yeah and it was really unfortunate

10. What’s your dream date?

Oh god I have three.

1. A day at the amusement park, riding all the rollercoasters and feeding each other cotton candy, maybe kissing by the pier (there’s a very specific amusement park I have in mind for this)

2. A night stroll down a really nice square or an old-town kind of place, just window shopping and holding hands and chatting.

3. Movie night with tons of blankets, complete with multiple lazy makeout sessions and falling asleep on the couch.

11. What do others notice about you?

Uhhh probably my weird ass teeth or my acne. Or probably my laugh because it’s super loud

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I’m kind of a flake. I’ve been getting a lot better about it but my social anxiety used to be super super bad and I wouldn’t go anywhere or cancel at the last second

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No because I don’t waste my time on assholes

14. How many exes do you have?

5

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Oh god. I have very many little playlists but my whole library is probably 12+ hours

16. What instruments can you play?

Violin and ukulele, and a teensy bit of piano

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Screenshots and quick pics of my notes LOL other than that probably selfies

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Paris! And I’m probably going to in the next few years because my best friend in moving there in December

19. What is your zodiac?

Gemini

20. Do you relate to it?

No. I connect more with Cancer

21. What is happiness to you?

Wanting to wake up in the morning

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Just exams, really. Had a bit of a falling out with a friend but whatever/

23 What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Genuinely believe it’s taking a certain class that I have a final project due for next week. Barely started. :)

24. What’s your favorite store?

This boba place (instagram peeps know it as my sadness cafe)

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I will never have one but the act of having one is a choice that only the woman can make and should be respected and carried out safely

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I do one year to year, but not really a huge “Before I Die” list.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Atlas: Space by Sleeping at Last is my alltime

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A new laptop pls this one is taking its dying breaths

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

A lot of people think I’m really shy and once I talk a lot of people think I’m super kind. Which is like... not entirely untrue but I say ‘fuck’ a lot and talk about sex and I’m not sure how synonymous those traits are with ‘kind’

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I’ve heard 18-20, which is about right

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

Literally right next to me

32. What word do you say the most?

Probably... fuck. Or ‘like’.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

Uh to be honest like 10 years older than me

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

One year younger than me is the furthest I’ll go

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

I’ve always been told something in the general therapy area or a writer

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Definitely pop or r&b

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I’ve been in the US my whole life and can’t imagine being anywhere else, but France is looking like a nice option right about now

38. What is your current favorite song?

I’d have to say the whole new Billie Eilish album, ‘The Killing Kind’ by Marianas Trench, and ‘In Case You Don’t Live Forever’ by Ben Platt

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since December

40. What are you excited for?

Summer and writing smut again!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener definitely

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Study

43. What do you want for Christmas?

Is money an acceptable answer?

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Anything having to do with English and History

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

5

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

God I hope I’m a psychiatrist and I’m having sex on the regular

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

I was fourteen

48. What age do you want to get married?

God, I don’t know. Late 20s?

29. What career did you want to have as a child?

Actress

50. What do you crave right now?

Sleep. And a movie.

Not sure who’s done it but I’ll tag @junemyeon @yeoldontknow @whitenoise-exo @suhoerections and anyone who’s followed me within the past month! I wanna get to know yall, sorry I’ve been absent.

#tag game

[clubdolan]

Noah + Youtuber

Just like Noah dating a youtuber and being used to her vlogging. There’s pictures in here too.

“This is a vlog, I am Lucy and this week I am doing things.” The video went to an intro screen, a black and white sketch of her popped up and winked as -VlogLucyVlog- was written at the bottom.

“Hello everyone, it’s Lucy, I am power walking through LAX because I just got back from Fiji and I have to get ready, film with someone and get to Noah’s movie premiere in four hours so I am stressed.” She took off running as the camera and her camera person (her editor/assistant, Kelsey) chased her.

Two people stopped her as she rushed out, she took quick pictures and ran around the luggage carousel to find her bright red polka dot bags and wait on her uber.

“James said it’s fine to go to his apartment now, he’s set up to film.” Lucy kept tapping on her phone, “And Brandon is bringing my dress choices there to pick from.”

“Do you want any food? I’ll post mates.” Kelsey offered waving down the SUV that came towards them. 

-

“I can’t believe it’s time for his movie to come out, I think I’m freaking out more than him.” Lucy said, sipping on a  drink while James did her eye makeup. 

“Have you seen it?”

“Yes! I also read the books once he got the role. It’s the cutest and everyone will fall in love with the characters. And everyone will love Lana who plays Lara Jean, she is the sweetest and funniest person. Ugh, I love her.”

James and Lucy kept talking as he painted her face. A simple eye with a glossy, light brown lip. He ended his video thanking Lucy for coming over which she thanked him back for even offering. They were good friends, they hadn’t collabed in a while and she didn’t want to be stressed doing her own makeup in a  rush.

Her stylist, Brandon, had outfits laying out down James’ couch and Lucy scanned them, picking two to try on. She held up the mirror selfie Noah had taken of himself; navy suit and different muted greens on the shirt underneath. She scanned the outfits again and put one down and grabbed another.

Lucy shook out the bottom of her hair that Kelsey had helped put half up before straightening up her appearance in the mirror and taking a picture.

Lucy: TATBILB READY 🤗

Noah: Wooooahh woahh WOAH 😍 

Lucy: Also not wearing heels, prepare to look two feet taller than me.

Lucy: AND I’m 20 minutes away from your hotel.

A twenty minute Uber drive (that should normally take three minutes) and she practically ran into the hotel towards a group of familiar people with Kelsey filming on her heels.

“Peter Kavinsky, is that you? THE Peter K?” She laughed, wrapping her arms around Noah. “Are you excited?”

“Ahhh, babe. I’m so excited. I’m so happy you could make it.” He turned around and squeezed her to his chest, her head just touching his chin. “You’re so tan, I’m so jealous about Fiji.”

His hands traveled down her arms and grabbed onto hers, “You’re so pretty.” He smiled, looking her up and down again. “I really like you. Like a lot.” His face scrunched as he spoke in his baby voice. “Hi Kelsey.” Noah smiled at the camera that was popped over his shoulder. “Hi vlog!” He took the camera from her, “Today is the premier of the movie and I’m super psyched. Look how gorgeous Lucy looks. Give us your ootd.” 

Noah wasn’t a stranger to the vlogs. He hadn’t been since Lucy and him had met. This was her life, making beauty videos, making vlogs, instagramming her outfits, collaborating with brands and other influencers; doing anything to entertain her fan base of three million and growing.

Boyfriend Tag, Boyfriend Does my Makeup, on set with him, a day at the beach, a vacation to Greece; she had it all on their channel for the last seven months they had been dating.

The red carpet was packed, waiting on the main cast to arrive. She said her hellos to the director, the writer of the book and other actors before getting yelled at by fans for pictures. 

Lucy let Noah go ahead, he was with the cast taking pictures, doing interviews and continuously smiling for everyone. She was stopped for a few interviews, “It’s so good to see you again, we saw you were just in Fiji, how was that?”

“Yeah, Dote Shopping sent us to Fiji and it was honestly one of the prettiest places and I had a blast with all of my friends and made so many new friends and I didn’t want to leave but I did; I had to be back here for this.” Lucy smiled, listening to questions.

“I’m nervous for some reason even though I have nothing to do with the film. Noah is excited, he just wants everyone to see the movie and finally be able to talk about it. That whole cast is so talented and they were hilarious to watch. It’s a cute movie, everyone will love it.”

Kelsey still filmed, walking around the red carpet behind Lucy who randomly would talk to the camera, “I am absolutely starving.” She whispered to the camera, “I know Kelsey has snacks in her camera bag--

“LUCY!” It seemed like the whole population of the red carpet yelled at her. She turned around and saw Noah standing alone near the back drop, waving for her to come over.

She skipped her way over, wrapping her arms around him. The photographers had a hay-day as they smiled at each other, Noah held her in front of him, she pulled him down to kiss his cheek and they stood next to each other smiling for a few normal pictures.

Her cheek muscles were about to cramp from smiling so much when his publicists said they needed to get inside.

“I honestly don’t even know what happened, I think I blacked out that whole thing.” Lucy said to the camera, “Hopefully I didn’t say anything stupid.”

“You probably did.” Noah said, pulling her along by her hand. “I know I did.”

“You always say stupid stuff.” She laughed, leaning up to kiss him. “Hold on.” Lucy stopped him, using her thumb to wipe a little bit of lipstick off his cheek. She kept his face squished in her hand and looked at him, “Wow you’re cute.”

“Stahhhhp.” He laughed, walking away from her.

“A rare Noah Centineo, blushing?” She questioned, following him inside. “His cheeks turned a light pink from a compliment. This is a rarity. Usually it’s him making people blush.”

-

The premier was over and two SUV’s of them went to the Taco Bell drive-thru before crashing in one of their hotel rooms, reading up reviews of the movie as people watched it.

“Babe..” Lucy tapped on Noah’s shoulder as he slept with his head on her lap, “Noah..”

“Yeah?” He was the only one who immediately fell asleep after eating, no surprise to anyone.

“You had like eight hundred thousand instagram followers, right?” He nodded, his eyes still closed, “You’re almost at two million...”

He quickly sat up and pulled his phone from the charger on the table, “What?”

“You’re a trending topic and top on Social Blade and-- I got like two hundred thousand new followers....” She checked her apps, her statistics she tracked and was also texting her manager about it.

“This is .. insane.” He scrolled through instagram as his follower count grew.

“Aww, baby No is a lil heart throb.” She joked, poking his cheek, “These comments are.. intense.”

“Shove your--- I want to have you choke--- Run me over--- Jesus Christ these are like twelve year olds.” His eyes widened as he kept reading, “Oh someone here asked you how good the D was.”

“I should go reply.” She joked, getting her camera out to vlog. “So it’s been...” Lucy checked her wrist where no watch was, “It’s been two hours since the movie came out and someone has become Mr. Popular.” She scanned the camera to him and he grinned back, “He’s gotten like two million followers since it came out, it’s insane.”

“I don’t understand it.”

“You’re soooo cute everyone’s gotta follow you.” She teased, “It’s good, that means people are watching the movie and liking it! Let me know in the comments below if you have watched it.”

“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, on Netflix now.” Noah said, “And in two weeks Sierra Burgess is a Loser comes out.”

“Have you said what else you’re filming?”

“Oh, the Fosters spin-off Good Trouble. I get to come back in one episode.” He danced a little as he sat. “And The Stand In has a release date soon.”

“Geez, after all this I’ll have to fight twenty billion people off of you.”

“You’ll never have to fight people off of me.” He wrapped his arms around her, “You’ll have to fight me off of you.” Noah squeezed her and kissed the top of her head, “Because I think you’re really cool. I like you a lot. Maybe we can .. go out or something.” He quoted a vine, like they always did with each other. Their own personal inside joke that some people caught onto.

“I dunno, maybe.” Lucy shrugged, getting a pillow shoved over her face as she laughed, “Noah! Noah let me see---- thanks.” She pushed her now messy hair from her face, “That’s it, that’s today, we did today, we finished today. Noah’s a movie star so go watch To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before on Netflix! See you tomorrow.” 

#me #mine #noah #noah centineo #noah centineo imagine #youtuber #dating noah #to all the boys i've loved before #tatbilb #to all the boys #peter kavinsky #sierra burgess is a loser #jamey #writing #fanfic

[transastarion]

So now from the mobile app, all of my top surgery pics are not even visible in my selfie tag. Even the ones that were not previously flagged. I could view them yesterday before I emailed tumblr. There is something seriously wrong with this.

@staff is blocking “top surgery” pictures for no apparent reason. Not only is their algorithm terrible, but now they are directly ignoring complaints from trans people.

I noticed that one version of my post surgery pics (all healed, with no comparison “before” pics) was flagged. I appealed that decision. My appeal was denied. I emailed support, they told me that their “expert team” determined that my photos were indeed nsfw. I emailed them back, explaining in detail what the situation is. They haven’t emailed me back.

Honestly I’m at a loss. I’ve emailed support again, but I doubt they’ll do anything. I’ve been thinking of a billion reasons that they could have been denied twice, and the best case is that humans aren’t looking at these pics at all. Worst case: they have a team of badly trained people determining case by case which trans man looks “masculine” enough to not count as NSFW, regardless of if he’s had gender conforming surgery or not.

If this doesn’t get fixed I think I’m gonna be done with this site.

#x #transphobia #i dont even know what to tag this as #feel free to rb

[vampireloreskill]

Get To Know Me 

tagged by @fourfinefreshfishforyou a billion years ago, thank you so much!! i actually Did have fun filling this out even if it took me forever 

 anyone who still wants to do this can say i tagged them!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Who wrote this? A fed??

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Kris

3. BIRTHDAY? This year

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Would you believe me if I said Warriors

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Ghosts no, aliens sort of... I’m not sure I buy into whole other civilizations but I find it hard to believe that there isn’t some kind of life outside of our planet even if it’s just bacteria 

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Rick Riordan is pretty cool

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Christmas

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Strawberry or peach 

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? Amazing

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG?  Your Type - Carly Rae Jepson

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I’m a big fan of defenestration

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  Your Type - Carly Rae Jepson

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? I don’t like to blanket recommend shows because everyone has such different tastes

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? Tbh I just mope around until I either feel better or give up and go to sleep

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? This is an Assassin’s Creed and Sims zone ONLY

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Strangers on the internet knowing my second biggest fear

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Objectively it’s probably my ability to see things from other people’s perspective but TBH I much prefer my sense of humor and ability to laugh at my own jokes whether or not anyone else finds them funny 

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? My inability to self moderate

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? I want to say neither,, but I may be leaning towards dogs in recent years :/

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Winter, but lately Autumn has been sneaking up on it

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Nah

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? Being small... I loved hiding in tiny spaces and being picked up

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? *cowboy voice* Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time...

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? At this point it’s basically black but I still like to say dark brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? God, my family, probably a lot of people idk I catch feelings easily

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Literally no one but God 

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? A lot of seemingly random celebrities, if you count constantly reciting names in specific patterns as thinking 

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? Yes, lots of things! 

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? lmao

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? REDWALLLLL

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? I’m not sure what the opposite of shrug emoji is but the answer is still no one

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? I’m not, but someone needs to tell me that

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? I’m not sure I have any phobias? Irrational fears, Sure

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Behind it!

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? I REALLY want to get into dollhousing

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? I know I said Les Misérables in a previous tag meme but I now remember that I actually read the first book in C.S. Lewis’s space trilogy a while back more recently

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Spider-man: Into The Spiderverse which was........ AMAZING 

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? When I was younger I had a lap harp but that’s about it

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Opossums

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? I’m not a fan of naming names in this context sorry!

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? A lot, but I’ve concluded that for any powers gained I would inevitably just end up becoming a super villain and/or batman so hard pass

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? When I first wake up, and just lie there trying to hold on to what I was just dreaming about

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? It’s basically physically impossible for me not to grin like a fool watching Wander Over Yonder

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? Does Wii Bowling count

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Apple cider

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I don’t know? Probably when I wanted to wake up at a certain time

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Sometimes? Depends on how possible it is that I could fall

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? Dry skin currently 

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? I was going to say no but I have the distinct feeling that I have even though I didn’t remember absolutely anything about it except maybe the auditorium?

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? No

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Zookeeper

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? Um. Eternia?? ajfghdk 

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Not growing as a person

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? Not really, but I do like the ability to turn on lights if I need to

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? My vocal cords were made for Christmas carols and little else. But yeah, sometimes.

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? I’m not... sure?

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? I’ll let you know when I’ve found it

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Where I already do

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Yes

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Night owl

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? I feel like I could make an educated guess in an emergency

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Headphones

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? No

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I feel like it’s probably pop or disco tbh

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Jesus 

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Here and there, the only series I’ve actually read all the way through is Cable & Deadpool (2004) but I want to get into Venom

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? Not to be cliche but injustice of any kind

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Real book, I like turning pages and the way the cover fits into my hands. Can’t say I’m a fan of the smell though.

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? Vocabulary

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? Yes

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Sims 4 packs

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′2 or so

75. CAN YOU COOK? If it involves anything other than a microwave or a toaster then,,, no

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? Vampires, villains in love, wood paneling 

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Intrusive thoughts, Marius Pontmercy, mint flavored toothpaste

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? I... Have more female mutuals

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? Bisexual but like it’s Complicated. Also this is the first time I’ve ever actually said that directly so ✌️🎉

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? A fed wrote this

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? My mom

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Earlier this month

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? I don’t really follow any, but I used to be obsessed with the videos of this one guy who acted out crossovers of DC/Marvel characters with action figures and had a really great voice

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? I do! I just never do anything with them once I’ve taken them lol

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? I don’t have one right now, but I adore choose your own adventure ones

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? Pretty good with my adoptive parents. I want to be closer with my birth mom but I don’t... really know how to go about that without being a disappointment. Never met my birth dad which has been eating at me somewhat lately.

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Uhh Australian maybe??

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Mexico

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 6

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Do you take me for a clown

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes, I’m a nondenominational christian 

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? The ocean, it’s teeming with life and I find it bafflingly fascinating how there’s still so much we don’t know about it

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? Absolutely not

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? Almost every single time we go shopping in Sam’s Club I get inexplicably feverish and nauseous and feel like I’ve thrown out my back until we get to the check out. That and I may have a dairy allergy? But honestly my stomach is acting out every other day so who knows really.  

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Ye

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? No

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Not as often as I should

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Aesthetically, the beach, but forests are less sandy

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? Pat, don’t rub (When drying your hands)

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR?  mmMM I don’t really lie, like, seriously about stuff that I can recall? I’ll jokingly say stuff that blatantly isn’t true and even then I sometimes feel guilty and confess seconds later. Unless you count lying by omission? Or saying stuff like “I’m fine” LMAO. The World May Never Know

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? We Don’t Discuss Harry Potter On This Blog, but ravenclaw all the way and any test that tries to sort me into hufflepuff isn’t Valid 

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Generally just when I’m alone

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? I’ve tried, but I just don’t have the attention span for it asdfgh. Sometimes I write down my dreams though.

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? Yes

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Convince someone else to pick it up and check for ID

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? Yes

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? That’s a personal question

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? No

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Count Dracula from Monster Family (2017) ok so,,, i know he tried to freeze the entire world because a married woman rejected him but LISTEN

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? No

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Following Jesus

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? Mm, not karma per say, but I do generally think that what goes around often comes around in way or another

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? No

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? NO

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Idk! there a lot different types of smart people

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Nice try, but someone might actually read this

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? I’m basically nocturnal so... yeah

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? Various jewel tones

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Ehhhhhhh

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Not that I know of

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? I can’t really think of one right now

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Whichever I’m in the mood for!

#tag meme

[outrotearbias]

@mccnhild tagged me in a few tags and 1) thank you!!! 2) since i’m apparently incapable of not talking abt myself on all platforms including what was meant to be a thirst blog for bts, but i haven’t actually like. said any concrete facts about myself lmao i figured i should actually talk about myself on here?? so this is a good opportunity to do that

uh well the first one is the bias selfie tag and everyone else might be cute enough to do that but i would honestly rather swallow a bee whole than directly compare myself to yoongi LIKE. i just. no. so i’ll just post a selfie. i almost never take pictures of myself so i really did not have much to choose from, ignore the janky lipstick and extremely yellow light lmao. i took these on the night that i went to go see burn the stage and YES i looked and felt extremely out of place #armysneedgothrepresentation

hate that these are so large but idk how to work tumblr despite having it since 2010

“get to know me” tag:

Nicknames/Pet names:  literally so boring lmfao, just em or emmy (although if you do call me emmy and you’re not a close family member i will be legally obliged to murder you). my grandma calls me milunia sometimes which is like a polish nickname for emily i think? that’s probably my only nickname that i actually like the sound of

Zodiac: this might get me killed for admitting this on tumblr dot com but i could literally care less about astrology. i’m a taurus but i don’t rly identify w it or care

Height: like 5′3.75 and yes i’m pretentious for not just saying 5′4 but that’s my truth

Last Movie: i literally never watch movies uhhh i think the last one was venom? i hate marvel movies normally but i will literally endure anything for tom hardy

Last Thing I Googled: "movies 2018″ bc i knew the last movie i watched was pretty recent but i couldn’t remember it lmfao

Favorite musician: radiohead, city and colour, alexisonfire, daughter, and this group that’s called bts i think??? 

Songs Stuck In My Head: desire by ateez, their new album BANGS and this song in particularly is so catchy 

Other Blogs: @thedalishelves is my main and @calebandnott is my semi/mostly-inactive critical role blog. i’ve had like a billion others but those are the ones that are (ostensibly) active

Do I Get Asks?: i used to a lot but all of the blogs i got a lot of asks on are either deleted or i don’t use them much anymore. i do kinda miss it sometimes but also now no one asks me to diagnose them or tells me their trauma in detail so it’s a toss up really

Dream Trip: i have a phobia of traveling lmfao so it’s more about who i’m with rather than the destination? like i don’t really care at all about seeing new places, more about just being with someone that i like away from daily life for a bit. that being said i do wanna go to paris before i die. also italy and poland to like. connect w my ancestry or w/e lmfao

Amount of Sleep: when i just let my body do its thing (which has been almost all the time lately as i don’t have classes any more and my job has irregular hours) i naturally sleep for abt 9-10 hours. and yes that’s a lot and YES it sucks

Lucky Number: i mean it’s not lucky but i have a Thing abt the number 3 in certain situations

What I’m Wearing: sweats and hoodie bc i’m at home and if u wear anything other than comfy clothes at home. i have nothing to say to u

Favorite food: don’t rly have one atm

Dream job: english professor!!! i’m nearly half way through my phd so. almost there! (if any jobs ever open up 💀💀💀 might get to fulfill this dream in about 40 years or so)

Play any instruments:  i used to play the piano and the baritone (lmfao) but i’ve long abandoned them

Languages: obvs english, EXTREMELY bad french that i can passably read, sort of write, almost completely cannot speak and definitely cannot understand. also i took a year of arabic during my undergrad but i only remember how to kind of read the alphabet. and i have a pretty sizable polish vocabulary (considering i don’t speak it) but absolutely do not know ANY grammar, so the best i could do is throwing random polish words into english sentences. so. basically just english and reading in french

Random fact: *vegan voice* HI I’M A VEGAN

15 questions tag:

Are You Named After Someone: yeah emily brontë bc my mom loved wuthering heights lmfao. in hindsight.. really indicative of how my life would turn out (both in the whole ‘i love reading and i’m doing an english phd’ thing and also the gothic tragic horror lmfao)

When was the last time you cried: yesterday about 461 times. sometimes it be like that

Do You Have Kids: yes one beautiful little tabby cat named faye, i adopted her in august and she’s 3 years old now and extremely annoying and also perfect

Do You Use Sarcasm A Lot: i used to a lot more but now i’m too paranoid abt people hating me and thinking i’m negative so i try not to

What’s the First Thing You Notice About Someone: if they’re a threat or not (either in the immediate physical sense, like seeing someone walking down the street towards me, or in the more complicated sense that i can’t be bothered getting into now and yes i’m aware this is a depressing answer)

Eye Color: dark green

Scary Movie or Happy Ending:  what a weird thing to juxtapose lmfao ig i’m a bit too much of a wimp to watch scary movies often so happy ending? i’m really not one to need happy endings in a movie/story though

Any Special Talents: I Cannot Stress Enough How Untalented I Am. anything that i’m good at is due to dedicating A LOT of time and practice to it.

Where Were You Born: toronto

Hobbies: video games are definitely my main hobby. other than like, listening to music and indulging in whatever obsession i currently have (like bts for instance) all i do is play video games. reading isn’t a hobby anymore, bc even though it occupies most of my time, it’s all for school

Pets: seems pretty redundant to ask about children and pets in one tag. but in addition to my own cat, my family also has a cat named chloe who is super gross but also i love her to death and i think she might actually be an angel. if you could not tell i am completely a cat person and plan on adopting 300

How Tall Are You: let’s go w the less pretentious answer of 5′4 this time even if it’s 0.25″ short of the truth

What Sports Do You Play/Have You Played: LMMMMAAAAOOOOOOOOOO DO I LOOK LIKE

Favorite Subject: i mean. english. obviously

Dream Job: since i already answered this let’s really get wild w the “dream” part of dream job. i would absolutely love to somehow become extremely rich through no work of my own, move to an isolated castle w a really big library, wifi, and like. idk an archery range and some stables w horses and a lot of cats and an incredibly hot gameskeeper that i have a passionate but somewhat detached love affair with. like i’m tryna live like a combination of enya and lady chatterley from lady chatterley’s lover except w/out the shitty husband and class critiques and soul-destroying ennui

HOO BOY i really wrote way too much huh. i’m too avoidant to tag ppl but if u read that whole mess i owe u my whole life thank u

#i don't think i've posted selfies on this blog and i probably shouldn't be worried abt it bc whatever everyone has a face but u know #i really do love tags though i like talking about myself way too much to be healthy 💀 #so thank u for tagging me marylet i enjoyed it!! i liked your answers too also absolutely buckwild learning ppl's heights you're so small!!! #granted i am only 2.75 inches taller as i mention multiple times in this tag haha

[suepixels]

Get to Know Me

Make a simself and add traits if you like but you don’t need to! “Me with my most important men Nero Valcari on the right and Levithian Cavallo on the left - Pixelthirst is real, you guys!” The peeps I met here who encouraged me to start my story? Yeah, I’m freakin’ grateful! Thank youu..! Aspiration: Soulmate + Bonus trait “Romantic” Traits: Creative, Active, Cheerful

I was tagged by the wonderful lady @cillaben and @awolzai is the one who created this tag. So if you wanna read all that shizzle about me. Go ahead and read, I’m not gonna stop you - Oh Gosh! Thanks a bunch, sweet Cilla, you are just wonderful the way you are to me and also for being a fab friend, I 💛  you , obviously you not gonna be tagged for this! Hehe - just messing around... 😉

I’m tagging following simmers because welp I don’t know much about them but I truly 💛 their blog and their stories and personality and would 💛  to know them better. @beverlyallitsims  @josiesimblr @tigerellasims , @tangandzing   @keysims , @skellysim @shysimblr , @weicyn, @glovely1simmer, @ktosiksims @fabflubs , @cayrees , @shespeakssimlish

Guys you don’t need to do this but it would be dope! There are loads of questions here. So you don’t have to answer all of them if you don’t feel like it. Even if I didn’t tag you feel free to do it - it’s fun!

WARNING: Answers to 125 questions are under the cut.

What is your name? Suzana

What is your nickname? Sue

🎂? May 11th

What is your favorite 📓 series?  Um, the last I read as a series was “The Lord of the rings” (A throwback to childhood, damm I was 13 when I read it the first time, hehe) I rather read single books 📚, seldom series

Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Ghosts? Dunno I’m not sure, never met one but don’t want either if they exist! LOL. Aliens? Wait a billion of galaxies with trillion of stars and I should believe that we are the only living creatures in the universe? Naah we are not alone - E.T. is out there. Does it answer your question? LOL

Who is your favorite author? Ugh... The ones I can think of right now? goshI have a bunch... um... Robert Greene, Marion Zimmer Bradley (all Avalon books) Patrice Leovold who’s book taught me that Eleanor of Aquitaine used to be a strong woman and queen of two countries in Europe! I love history stuff so I read a bunch of German authors who write historical novels.

What is your favorite radio station? If I listen to any it would be JAM FM from Berlin (Hip-Hop, RnB, Soul etc) Haven’t heard it in years... but Youtube is my main source for music, hehe

What is your favorite flavor of anything? If it’s not spicy go home and try it again, okay? It has to be spicy... yeah I’m used to it. A day without my Latte Macchiato is a no-no! (80% creamy milk with 1 cup of espresso, only the real deal for me, capeesh? Hehe! 

What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Dope!

What is your current favorite song? 💛 Stuck in my head this one arrrgh gosh: Blindness by Justin Timberlake

What is your favorite word? Welp? LOL 😆

What was the last song you listened to? I will wait for you by Nicky Parrott

What 📺 show would you recommend for everybody to watch? The Originals, Vampire Diaries (isn’t it obvious?) Lucifer (love the sarcasm) The Good Doctor, This is Us and heck, yeah Game of Thrones agree with @cillaben

What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Any good sci-fi, fantasy movie “Just let me escape this world for a second or two”

Do you play video games? Yup, as an addict I play only Sims 4, 3 & 2 😲

What is your biggest fear? To die, too early before I could do all the things I desire to do.

What is your best quality, in your opinion? I’ve been told be caring, dunno!

What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I can be stubborn but hey someone told me I’m just persistent in all the things I do, you know... 😁

Do you like cats or dogs better? I used to love cats more but since my sis has a Malinois. I love both.. Guys, Stella is the best craziest dog I’ve seen!

What is your favorite season? Summer

Are you in a relationship? Neep, bloody single...welp =D

What is something you miss from your childhood?  My love for ballet? I did yesterday the first time after 15 yrs some exercises on a bar at the gym and the belief that anything is possible - still hoping!

Who is your best friend? Currently, run out of “best friends” shizzle

What is your eye color? Green-yellowish - yup like a cat  😁

What is your hair color? By nature? Ash blonde but I love brown!

Who is someone you 💛? My sister and my nephews

Who is someone you trust? Only my big sis

Who is someone you think about often? My ex, who I still love. I know I should drop it but when your heart says something else and your mind reminds you NOPE - Game over! Dang, it! Can someone press the restart button for me, please? LOL Naaah, don’t worry I’m fine but you know sometimes you think too much about could have, would have blah, blah...

Are you currently 🙌 about/for something? I’m 🙌 about to go to bed!

What is your biggest obsession? Fitness (again), Dancing, being creative, TV series, Cooking, Web surfing, Gaming, Traveling geez I can’t name them all I have many obsessions. LOL 

What was your favorite 📺 show as a 👶? As a child, I wasn’t allowed to watch TV but what I remember is that I liked “Once Upon a Time... Life” a European/Asien cartoon about how the human's body system works (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY11Hu_ju5M&list=PLtAciEfQHAwvs1hIkWN_YNpD8E4sno--C)

Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? Nobody. I’m too open-minded and a bunch of peeps are simply sick in their head and interpret shizzle just because I say “Live your life your way - it’s not my business” So I keep it private.

Are you superstitious? Nope, not that I’m aware of =D

Do you have any unusual phobias? Darkness, if the light goes suddenly off and I see nothing? Yeah, it creeps the heck out of me. A childhood trauma - my mother did scare to death!

Do you prefer to be in front of the door or behind it? In front!

What is your favorite hobby? Fitness, surfing, 👀 movies and playing sims of course.

What was the last 📓 you read? The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

What was the last movie you 👀? The new Fantastic Beasts movie

What musical instruments do you play, if any? None =( wish to play piano, tho - need to check Google Play for an app - LOL

What is your favorite animal?  Birds

What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?  I have quite a bunch I check daily like a stalker - all wonderful human beings =) 

What superpower do you wish you had? The ability to be immortal

When and where do you feel most at ✌️? Sweet Home

What makes you 😁? Sarcastic Humor, it goes deep under your skin

What sports do you play, if any? Naah, I do Functional Fitness and soon Breakletics but I don’t play sports.

What is your favorite drink?  Latte Macchiato and Raspberry Mojito

When was the last time you wrote a ✋-written letter or note to somebody? A goodbye letter to my ex-boyfriend when I canceled to continue to be just friends with him. Well because of the feels I still have him...even after 5 yrs...still unforgotten!

Are you 😨 of heights? Depends...

What is your biggest pet peeve? Fake people, superficial characters

Have you ever been to a concert? Yes, quite a lot...

Are you vegan/vegetarian? Never ever - I need meat!

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A ballet dancer or an artist in general.

 What fictional place would you like to live in? Atlantis - Undersea Waterworld

What is something you worry about? Yes, I worry all the time

Are you 😨 of the dark? Depends, if there is no light, yes!

Do you like to sing? Yes!

Have you ever skipped school? Never. I was a proud nerd!

What is your favorite place on the 🌍? Home

Where would you like to live? Atlanta, USA or UK - London

Do you have any pets? Neep, not allowed by the landlord

Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Night Owl

Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunrise - A new day to start fresh!

Do you know how to drive? I know, but I don’t have a license - hihi

Do you prefer earbuds or 🎧? Earbuds

Have you ever had braces? Neep, lucky me

What is your favorite genre of 🎶? RnB, Soul, Hip Hop, “German Hip Hop”, Classic, Jazz, Blues, Bossa Nova, Dancehall, Reggaeton, Twerk - actually all kind of genres, always depends on the song! 🎶

Who is your hero? Hero? Ugh... Dunno to be honest...

Do you read comic 📚? I used to, not anymore

What makes you the most 😠? Rudeness, Racism in general, Lies, and Betrayal

Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real 📓? I need a real book, okay? As much as I ’m a lover of newest technologies but some stuff are simply gold when it’s the “real deal”.

What was your favorite subject in school? Languages ( I speak 3 fluid English, German, Serbian somewhat a little French), Informatics, Art, Music, and History

Do you have any siblings? A sister and a brother

What was the last thing you bought? Meat

How tall are you? 5′3 or about 164 cms

Can you cook? Yeees, herbs? Spices? Experimenting? All that jazz, yes

What are three things that you 💛? My sis, Fitness and writing my story here.

What are three things that you hate? Racists, Betrayal and when people lie about their feelings.

Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Male, most women never liked me... dunno... why! 

What is your sexual orientation? Straight

Where do you currently live? Germany

Who was the last person you texted? My sister

When was the last time you 😢? On 3rd of Nov. because I saw my brother - we don’t talk

Who is your favorite YouTuber? Xurbansimsx (Sims) that’s it!

Do you like to take selfies? Neep, not currently... I gained too much... due to my illness but working it off now that I’m feeling better.

What is your favorite app? Tumblr and Pinterest

What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?  My dad passed away. Broken, dramatic family war! No, contact with my brother because of my mother this binch. My sister is my everything  💛 💛 💛

What is your favorite foreign accent? French and when American speak German, aaah I love it!.

What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? New York, South Africa, New Zeeland and Australia

What is your favorite number? 5

Can you juggle? Naaah

Are you religious? Nope

Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Both

Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Sometimes, a little naughty, hehe

Are you allergic to anything? Cat hair :(

Can you curl your tongue? Yips

Can you wiggle your ears? Nooope

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? When I’m wrong I do apologize but it happens seldom

Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Beach, babe!

What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Who has told you that life is fair?

Are you a good liar? I guess I can be if I have to!

What is your Hogwarts 🏠? Hufflepuff

Do you talk to yourself? Yeah, I do so what? I just maintain a relationship with myself, okay  😂 Call me crazy, I don’t care..hehe 😜

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? extrovert

Do you keep a journal/diary? I used to but stopped, have 5 books

Do you believe in second chances? Yes

If you found a wallet full of 💰 on the ground, what would you do? Tbh? Currently, I would keep it.

Do you believe that people are capable of change? Difficult, it depends on the character. 

Are you ticklish? Some secrets areas - yeas!

Have you ever been on a ✈️? Heck yeah, quite a lot - I’m a “Fernweh” Girl and a traveler!

Do you have any piercings? Ears, Belly and I used to have my nose pierced, too but business sucks so I had to take it out! LOL

What fictional character do you wish was real? Mr. Darcy from ‘Pride and Prejudice’

Do you have any tattoos? Yes, one on my back and I want more!

What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Running away from home, living my own life and not allowing anyone to tell me how I should live my life - I have one life to live, so my rules apply!

Do you believe in karma? Yes

Do you wear glasses or contacts? Contacts during daytime at night glasses

Do you want children? Yes, at least one - hopefully!

Who is the smartest person you know? My ex-boyfriend

What is your most embarrassing memory? When a friend of mine showed via an accident how fake she truly was. She lost her fake hair and her nails got broken and all this in public on a dancefloor in front of my friends. (We were teens, LOL)

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Almost but not really so, naah

What color are most of your clothes? Black, mint, turquoise and darker versions of green, blue, brown and red.

Do you like adventures? Depends on adventure

Have you ever been on 📺? Almost as a TV-host for a German music channel! Had a casting back in my teenhood! 

How old are you? 35+ I look younger than I really am and I don’t feel like it. Nope, not gonna say it publicly. I would feel instantly older.. LOL but I tell in private!

What is your favorite movie quote? “He is your first love. I intend to be your last” - The Originals by Klaus Mikelson

Sweet or savory? Sweet

Yeah, you may notice I like to add videos =) that’s the song which spins around in my head currently... Love the beat!

#tagged #nonsims #private #ignore it you don't need to read it #it's a lot #sue babbles #simedit #ts4 edit

[cynicallystiles]

Beach Sunrises: Why

Author: @cynicallystiles

Warning: Cursing, drama, fluff, and a whole lotta angst. I tried to tag all the mature themes in this chapter as not to spoil the whole thing. So, read at your own discretion!

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Summary: While on tour one day, Shawn sees a woman watching the sunrise by herself. Thinking that he’ll never see her again, he tries to forget as he goes on with the rest of his day. But, serendipity seems to have other ideas…

Notes: Yo, sorry this is late!!! But, it’s hella long. I apologize deeply if this sucks. I had to end it in a weird spot because if not it would we a billion pages long. PLEASE REBLOG OR COMMENT if you like it! I always welcome messages and asks about my work! Enjoy!

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 6 Part 8

Words: 10,485…YIKES

First P.O.V.

I wake up to a soft alarm coming from the nightstand. As I force my eyes open, my groggy brain reminds me that I'm in Shawn's bed instead of mine. I look over my shoulder and see his muscular back moving in rhythm to his breathing. We must've separated during the night.

Nonetheless, last night was the best I've slept in a long time. Usually, I have trouble and can't even think about going to sleep until the sun rises. I reach over and shut off the alarm coming from Shawn's phone. I smile to myself as I turn over and scoot up behind him.

"Shawn..." I whisper softly as to wake him up gently on his big day. The light comes through the window, looking like it's mid-morning.

When he doesn't stir, I run my fingers through his disheveled curls and slightly raise my voice. "Shawn. Up and at 'em! It's Grammy day!" I giggle as his shoulder falls back toward me and his eyes are looking at me sleepily.

"Five more minutes, mom," he teases with a wry smirk.

My mouth falls open with a scoff into an annoyed smile. "Oh, you're gonna regret that," I declare as I quickly press my fingers rapidly into the sensitive skin around his ribs.

He immediately wakes up further as he falls into a fit of laughter forced by me tickling him. I sit up further to get a better angle at both of his sides to continue torturing him and he tries desperately to get me to stop.

"I'm sorry! Ah! I didn't-I didn't mean it-" his sentence is broken up by his beautiful giggles and I pause for a moment to admire it.

He takes that opening to capture my wrists in his large hands before rolling me over onto my back and pinning me down. "Aha! Got you," he says from above me with a confident grin.

"Sure you did," I say sarcastically as my teeth find my bottom lip. I notice as his eyes keep moving from my amused stare to my sarcastic grin. He breathes heavily, still coming down from all the laughter and it's hard for my body to stay cool.

I clear my throat as I shift to get up, and he lets me. "So...big day today! Are you nervous?" I tease as I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"Am I nervous? Please! I've done this a thousand times...the question is whether you're nervous for your red carpet debut," he calls from the other room.

His voice sounds off and I return from the bathroom to look into his eyes intently. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah..." he nods, his eyes refusing to find mine.

I instantly cross the room and my hands cup his jaw. "Hey, look at me," I say softly as he finally matches my stare. It's then that I see the anxiety building up in his dark honey eyes. "Tell me what's going on, okay?"

"Y/n, I'm fine-" He chuckles nervously before I cut him off.

"Shawn...it's me. I know what anxiety looks like. Let's just...sit down and talk it out. All right?" He nods and I watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows.

I perch myself next to him on the edge of the bed, our bodies facing each other. He looks at the floor with a concentrated stare as he purses his lips. "The truth is that I wanted you to be my date because I'm nervous about performing the new song and about the award," he confesses.

"Well, I gathered that much," I smile gently at him. The corner of his mouth twitches up ever so slightly. I pause, waiting for him to elaborate.

"I really want this award, y/n. Do you know how amazing it would be for me to get an award this huge?" He takes a breath and I nod. "I just...I think I'll actually be devastated if I don't win this one..."

I place my hand carefully on his bare shoulder, my fingers kneading gently into the tense muscles. He closes his eyes and visibly relaxes. "It's understandable that you want this. All great musicians want validation on this level. And I'm here to tell you that if you don't win this one...there's always next year. And the year after that...and the year after that..."

"This is why I wanted you here. You just...understand better than most people for some reason," he says incredulously as he grins at me.

"And why are you nervous about the song? Is it as raw as In My Blood? Or something similar?" I say as I clear my throat. I've listened to most of his songs but there are a select few that he said I'd have to wait to hear when the album drops.

He shakes his head as he looks at me. "No, I'm just always nervous when I release a new song. I have this incessant need to please everyone..." he chuckles softly.

"Well, I already know it's gonna be amazing," I say with a soft closed-lipped smile. "Everything you write is."

I stand up and hold my hands out to him. He takes them and stands with me. "I guess we should get ready to leave," he says as he looks down at me.

"I guess," I shrug and giggle as he pulls me in for a hug against his bare, toned chest. My fingertips press into the soft muscles on his back. One of his hands reaches to press into the small of my back and the other grips my shoulder gently.

We stand like that for a few minutes before we reluctantly release each other and bustle about getting ready for tonight.

A few hours before we have to leave, the people from yesterday come back to put me into my clothes to make sure everything is still perfect. A hair stylist and makeup artist show up as well to fix Shawn and me up. My hair is beautifully done. But, I had to convince the makeup artist to tone down the look she was going for.

With as much black eyeshadow as she was using, I could've ended up looking like a super villain. Instead, I asked her to go for a more glowing, golden look with very little black. I wanted it to look less scary, and more like me.

Once she was finished, I walked out of the bathroom to find Shawn adjusting his watch. When he looks up, his mouth immediately drops open. "Wow...y/n..."

"Is it too much?" I say as I smooth down the skirt of the ball gown.

"No! No, uh," he clears his throat as he puts one hand in his pocket and gestures to me with the other. "You look, uh, you look insanely gorgeous."

I feel my cheeks heat up and I take a deep breath. "Not so bad yourself, Mendes," I giggle and I see his cheeks tint pink.

In a whirlwind of rushing around, we finally find ourselves at the entrance of the red carpet. I hold onto Shawn's bicep as he prepares to escort me down the carpet. He must feel how tight my grip has gotten because he turns to me.

"Hey, it's okay. I've got you," he says reassuringly. I nod as I breathe in deeply and we begin walking out in front of the hoard of cameras.

Nothing could have prepared me for how bright and loud everything became all at once. I had to squint my eyes to see anything other than stars blurring my vision. Shawn handles everything like a pro, though.

He waves and smiles and stops at all the right places. He answers what questions he can hear with just enough to please them but not enough that he's given anything away. Out of nowhere, I suddenly relax. I'm here with Shawn and he said he's got me.

My eyes have finally adjusted to all the flashes and the sounds in my ears have suddenly become less muffled. I smile nervously and give a small wave. Shawn looks down at me. Yes, I'm wearing heels that are probably at least six inches and he still towers over me. He looks at me and smiles.

His smile causes butterflies in my stomach and my cheeks flush. I can't help but grin as he goes back to milking the crowd.

"Shawn! Shawn!"

"What can you tell us about the album?!"

"What song will you be singing tonight?"

"Why did you bring y/n as your date instead of a fellow celebrity?!"

"Are you two an item now??"

The questions hurl so fast that I can barely catch any of it. Shawn leans down and whispers to me, "Vultures. Every single one of them." He chuckles and so do I before he addresses the paparazzi. "I brought y/n because she's quickly become one of my closest friends. She's amazingly supportive and encouraging and I couldn't ask for anyone better to be here on this night."

Taking me by surprise, he holds my hand above my head and gestures for me to twirl around. Laughing, I do so and my dress fans out like a Disney princess' would. Clicks of cameras and more questions fly at us.

Instead of answering, he puts his hand on the small of my back and ushers me off the red carpet and eventually to our seats. Somehow, we've been seated relatively close to the stage and that makes me very anxious. The ones up front are always on the cameras more.

We take our seats and wait while everyone else is being seated. Deciding I'm too antsy to just sit here, I take out my phone and open my new Snapchat account. I hold it out in front of me and Shawn and he leans into my shoulder with a broad smile. I save the picture before putting a Grammys filter on it and send it to Anna and Xander.

The rest of the night goes like that. I take several videos and selfies of me and Shawn watching the other performances and awards being handed out. I take some of him by himself and he pulls out his phone to do the same but I hold my hand in front of it, giggling.

"It's time for me to go get ready for my song," he says into my ear after someone is gifted a golden gramophone award.

I look over at him beaming and nod. "You're gonna knock us all dead!" He squeezes my hand briefly before heading off and I'm left alone, surrounded by celebrity faces.

Some eye me with indecipherable looks and others smile warmly at me. I breathe deeply as I settle into my seat, waiting for Shawn to appear onstage. Someone sits down in Shawn's empty seat, startling me slightly.

My eyes widen as I look at the smiling face next to me. My mouth falls slightly open. The gorgeous blond man speaks with a thick Irish accent. "You must be y/n, yeah?"

"Yeah...how do you know that exactly?" I ask amazed that I'm speaking with him.

"Shawn got a hold of me a little while ago. Wanted me ta keep ya company while he performed."

I smile a little bit. "That was very sweet of him," I admit.

"Yeah, he also wanted me ta make sure that no one else made ya uncomfortable with anythin'."

I turn in my seat a little with an amused grin. "Uncomfortable as in mean to me or uncomfortable as in hitting on me?"

He shrugs. "Either, I guess. 'S understandable. If I had a date as pretty as ya I'd be protective as well," he smiles genuinely.

"And what if I said that you were making me uncomfortable?" I tease.

He looks at me with an impressed smirk. "Well, I guess I'd have ta tattle on maself then. In all honesty, am I though?"

"No, Niall," I chuckle. "Unless you're hitting on me. Then I'd have to question whether you're really his good friend or not." I smirk back.

He chuckles deeply and it's a gorgeous sound. "Wouldn't dream of it. I'd never go after someone he's so inta."

My cheeks heat up and someone announces that Shawn is about to begin singing. I clear my throat and turn back toward the stage as the lights come up on Shawn sitting on a stool with his guitar. A woman sits across from him at a very close proximity and a mic is positioned in front of his face while she holds hers.

I furrow my eyebrows as a familiar pang of something surges through my veins. Shaking it off, I clap with the rest of the crowd as Shawn begins to strum his guitar. It's a beautiful song, just like I knew it'd be. When she starts singing, I realize who she is. It's Julia Michaels. I absolutely love her songs and her voice.

The further into the song they go, the more he starts to smile and so does she. They never break eye contact, and my body is giving me confusing feelings. My heart is pounding rapidly and my stomach feels like it's in knots. I bite the inside of my cheek to distract myself.

When the song comes to an end, everyone stands up to clap. I do the same, swallowing the feeling of cement in my throat. Coughing into my hand I turn to Niall.

"When is the award Shawn's up for announced?" I ask over the noise.

He continues clapping while he answers. "Oh...not fer another half hour or so."

"Okay. I'm gonna try and find a bathroom."

He looks at me as his eyebrow quirks for half a second. "Uh, okay. One of the fellas at the entrance can give ya directions to it."

"Thanks!" I say as I pick up my skirt with both hands and walk off to a side entrance discreetly.

Sure enough, the guy at the door gives me perfect directions to where a bathroom is. I walk in and close the door, leaning against the wall. I begin taking deep breaths until I can get my heart rate to go back to normal and my hands to stop shaking.

Third P.O.V.

Adrenaline is pumping through Shawn's veins as he and Julia close out the song. He pulls her in for a hug with a bright smile before his eyes immediately find y/n in the front row. She's clapping happily for him as Niall stands next to her. Thank god he actually sat there with her.

He turns back to Julia for the briefest of moments as they share another smile. When he turns back to look at her in the front row, she's gone. Frantically, his eyes search everywhere they can see but there's no sign of her. They hurry backstage as the crew clears the stage to continue the awards.

Shawn hands his guitar to someone and rushes back out to where Niall is sitting and waiting. He sits down quickly in y/n's seat as he leans over and whispers to Niall. "Where's y/n?? You were supposed to keep an eye on her!"

"Relax, brother," he says in a chill tone. "She just went ta the bathroom."

Shawn rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Niall, I wanted you to watch out for her," he says urgently. Niall just looks at him like he isn't understanding why it's such a big deal. "Ugh! Niall, she's a flight risk! Okay?? I wanted you to sit with her in case she got anxious and wanted to bolt!"

"How was I s'posed ta know that? 'Sides, she's a grown woman and yer not the boss of 'er." He rolls his eyes playfully.

Shawn sighs. "No...I know I'm not. But, I really wanted her here if I get this Grammy," he says sadly.

"I do believe that's my seat you're sitting in," a sarcastic voice says and Shawn's eyes fly up to see the source.

A grin splits his face as he stands up and lets her sit down. He and Niall share a handshake and a hug before he returns to his seat. "Where'd you go? I looked out and you were gone," he says worriedly as he takes his seat, still sweaty from the stage lights.

"I went to the bathroom," she says as she shrugs her shoulders and scrunches her face in a frown.

His smile immediately falls away. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is great," she says with an inflection of the last word to signal a cheery tone. But, Shawn knows better than that fake tone. Plus, she hasn't looked at him since she sat down. Her eyes remained trained on the stage.

"You're lying," he says flatly. Honestly, he thought she was past all the fake feelings around him.

She turns to him with a displeased look. When she sees how concerned he is, her expression softens. "Sorry," she sighs. "I just needed a minute to breathe."

"You could've waited for me. I would've gon-" he begins to offer.

"Alone, Shawn." Her tone is final and he knows that she's not going to say any more about it.

An awkward silence settles over the two of them while they wait for Shawn's category. As the announcer finally begins it, she looks over at Shawn's anxious state. His leg is shaking uncontrollably and he keeps running a hand through his curls.

As the nominees are announced, she takes his hand and interlocks their fingers. He looks over at her with a grateful smile, squeezing her hand. Her heart melts for him, all of her feelings from earlier forgotten. The audience goes silent as the presenter opens the envelope.

"And the winner is...In My Blood by Shawn Mendes!!"

The two of them shoot up out of their chairs turning to each other excitedly. She giggles ecstatically as he laughs disbelievingly. Without a second thought, he circles his arms around her waist and lifts her up in a tight hug. Her arms rest around the back of his neck and one hand grips the curls on his head.

He sets her down and caught up in the moment, he grips her by her cheeks and pulls her in for a quick kiss. She freezes, too surprised to react or reciprocate it before he pulls away. Her eyes widen and she swallows hard. Shaking herself out of it, she claps and shoos him off to the stage to accept it, ignoring the looks of everyone in the audience.

The next few hours are a flash as the Grammys end and she's escorted to the airport for her flight home. Shawn goes with her to say goodbye before he returns to the city for afterparties and such. They arrive at the gate and she stops, turning to Shawn.

Her hair is loose around her shoulders, still curled from her updo. But, she wears comfortable sweats and a sweatshirt with tennis shoes. Shawn thinks she still looks as amazing as she did in her dress.

"So..." she says awkwardly.

He steps closer to her, hand finding her waist to pull her into him. "So?"

She sighs, stepping back from him. "You broke the rules, Shawn," she says quietly.

"What do you mean?" He says as his smile falters.

"You kissed me in front of everyone. There are sure to be more rumors now."

He rolls his eyes, still high off of winning his award. "Are they rumors if they're true?" He asks with a grin as he shrugs. He doesn't get what the big deal is. They've become so close in the past weekend by opening up to each other. He didn't think she'd actually make him wait until after his next world tour is over with.

He regrets being so cocky with that statement as her soft features twist into a scowl. "They're not true, Shawn! We talked about this last night. This just goes to show that you don't listen to anything I say!"

"I listen, y/n," he says shaking his head with a frown as he steps closer.

She stays where she is, holding her ground. "No, you don't. I don't think this is a good idea anymore," she spits out.

"What? No... no, no, no. Y/n, what are you saying," he whispers as he hovers over her.

She sighs. "I still want to be friends with you. But, I can't do couple-y stuff with you anymore. Not even in private. It's giving you the wrong idea," she states tiredly.

"I won't do it again. I promise! Just..." he looks into her pleading eyes with his own. He sees that this is a struggle for her to do and he hates himself for giving her so much to be conflicted over. "I'm sorry. I understand. No more couple stuff," he mumbles.

She clears her throat nervously. "I have to go...my flight is leaving soon. I'll see you for your album release party?"

"Yeah," he says with a nod and forces a smile onto his face. "Yeah, I can't wait to show you Toronto."

She gives a small smile as well. "Me either."

The two hug briefly, Shawn being careful not to linger too much. Then, she disappears behind the gate and he sulks back to the city where he enjoys absolutely none of the afterparties.

Before the Grammys, Shawn had made arrangements to have his release party be the same week of her Spring Break in early April so that she could spend more time with him in Toronto. She was gonna spend the whole week with him at his condo and he was so ecstatic that they'd be able to act like regular young adults for a little bit.

He waited anxiously at the gate where she was supposed to arrive. They didn't exactly leave on good terms in New York. Even though they texted and called in the meantime, Shawn still felt like there was something wrong. It was eating him alive.

"Excuse me? I'm supposed to meet my friend here, and you're just so tall I can't seem to find him."

Shawn's snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the familiar and teasing voice. "Y/n!" He breathes out before picking her up in a hug.

She giggles as he sets her down. "No, seriously have you seen him? He's about yay high," she stretches her hand up while standing on her tiptoes, "plays guitar...has a cute lil’ lazy eye...Oh! And he sings. Like a lot."

"You're hilarious," he grins with a roll of his eyes and she shrugs smugly. She seems okay. A lot less hostile than last time. He looks over her current state.

She's wearing a pair of basketball shorts, a simple fitted tee, and high-top converses on her feet. There's a sweater tied around her hips and her carry-on bag is hanging off her shoulder. Her long wavy hair is thrown up in a messy bun. Shawn looks at her the same way he looked at her the night of the Grammys when she was all dressed up. It's also the same way he looked at her on the beach that morning several months ago.

"And...you're staring, Shawn," she giggles as she tilts her head to the side, shifting the bun on her head.

He realizes he hasn't said anything as he's been thinking about how beautiful she is. "Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking about...the party," he lies.

"Ahuh," she nods her head as she begins walking past him. "Well, I still have to pick up my suitcase from baggage claim. Coming?" She turns back around several feet away and gestures her head toward where she's going before continuing on her way.

Shawn walks quickly to catch up with her small but determined steps. "So, uh," he clears his throat, "how's school going?"

"Well, I've got a project and an essay or two to finish before finals. The only thing getting me through it is knowing that after that I'll be a senior and I'm excited about that," she informs him as she stands next to the conveyer belt.

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and nods. "I just realized that I've never actually asked what you're majoring in," he laughs nervously. The way she's acting so calm and put together is making him anxious. Like he's waiting for something to set her off and yell at him again.

"Uh..." she clears her throat as she sees her bag and lifts it off the belt by the handle and begins rolling it towards the exit. "I'm actually a double-major."

Shawn raises his eyebrows, impressed by her dedication. "Really? So what are your majors, then?"

"Commercial Multimedia...Computer Multimedia Graphics and Photography," she says like it's no big deal.

"Wait, what?" He stops in his tracks, perplexed. She turns around and gives him a questioning look.

"What?"

"Why are you majoring in those? I mean...what's the job you want to get?"

She shifts her weight to one foot, jutting her hip out as she rolls her head back. "Can we talk about it later? I smell like airplane and I really want to shower," she says with a playful smile.

"Sorry, yeah. Uh, car's this way," he says leading her out of there.

The ride to his condo his kind of quiet. She's too busy looking at everything through the window. Shawn just watches her with a small smile as she points things out, amazed at tiny differences from the States.

As soon as they get to his condo, Shawn shows her where to put her stuff and then the bathroom. She'll be using his room and he'll be sleeping on the couch while she's there. After fifteen minutes, she emerges in new clothes and her damp hair is pulled over one shoulder.

"Fancy digs," she says as she saunters into the kitchen and sits on a stool at the bar.

He looks up from where he's making some snacks and smiles. "If you say so," he says humbly. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Watchya got?" She says as she rests her chin on her hands.

Opening the fridge, he rummages around. "Got some juice...some tea...couple of beers...milk...no, wait, that's expired."

She laughs as he seemingly reacquaints himself with his own house. "Um...tea is fine," she says sitting up and scratching the back of her neck.

"Would you mind if I had a beer?" He asks casually.

She scrunches her features for a brief second. "It's your place. Go nuts," she laughs and it sounds kind of sad.

He sits down across from her at the bar and slides a glass of tea to her. "You okay? You seem tense." He smiles genuinely at her and she sighs.

"Yeah," she takes a sip of her drink to soothe her nerves. "It's just weird being in a different country with someone I've known for less than a year." She shrugs.

He slightly chuckles. "Well, at least you don't have to worry about me being some weird murderer. I'm Canadian, so being shady isn't..."

"In your blood?" She smirks before cracking a full smile. He nods, trying to hold back his amusement at her terrible joke.

"So, tell me about what you want to do with your degrees." He takes a sip of his beer and leans forward a little bit.

She looks up at the ceiling, a small smile playing at her lips. When she looks back at him, there's a mix of something he can see in her eyes. Hope, fear, determination...and so many other things.

"I want to, uh," she clears her throat. "I want to be a film editor. Maybe eventually a director." She shrugs as she takes another sip.

"What made you want to do that?"

She shrugs again. "I just like telling stories. Putting things together in beautiful ways."

He furrows his brows at her. "You don't seem very enthusiastic about it," he says with a chuckle.

"I am," she laughs and her eyes crinkle at the edges. "It's just depressing to think that by the time I make anything...my Nana won't be around to see it." She smiles sadly as she looks down at the counter.

Silently, Shawn reaches over and takes her hand in his. "Hey, you can't think like that."

She nods, blinking back the tears brimming in her eyes. She clears her throat and stands up. "Let's go do something! Show me all the sights. We've got like three days before the party."

"Your wish is my command," he says smoothly before grabbing his keys.

"Ah! I'll take those," she says holding out her hand.

"But I only had one sip," he chuckles.

"I don't care, you can give me directions everywhere."

Shawn spent the next few days showing her everything he could in Toronto. All the sights and restaurants he's been becoming familiar with himself. She took tons of pictures and videos of them and their adventures. Her favorites are the ones of Shawn being silly and singing along to the radio. Shawn's favorites were the ones he took of her when she was admiring the scenery or eating something new. He'd never tell her, or she'd force him to delete them all and he can't have that.

The day of the album release party rolls around and it's around 4 o'clock when y/n walks into the bedroom in capris and a baggy shirt.

Shawn looks her over while he arranges his outfit on the bed. "Hey, not to be all bossy or anything but you should start getting ready if we're gonna make it to the venue on time."

"What do you mean?" She says as she leans against the doorframe with her hair pulled up in a large clip.

He stops and gestures at her. "I mean doing your hair and makeup and getting dressed and all that. Whatever girls have to do," he says with a chuckle.

She furrows her brows at him confusedly. "But, I am ready. This is what I'm wearing," she says seriously.

"Huh? Y/n," he begins frustratedly.

She stands up straight and begins to look discouraged. "You don't like it?"

"What? No! No. You look great. I'll be ready in like an hour and a half-" he stops speaking when she starts laughing uncontrollably. And it's the real laugh that he loves so much.

She clutches her side as she points at him. "Oh my god! You were really gonna let me wear this?"

"Let you is a very strong term," he smiles despite himself.

She shakes her head as she turns on her heel to leave. "I would never do that to you. I'll be ready to go in like, two hours."

"Okay!" He calls after her.

Two hours later, Shawn is sitting on his couch shaking his leg anxiously. He sports black dress pants and a dark green button up with the sleeves rolled. The clicking of heels draws his attention to the hallway. Y/n is clicking her clutch closed as she looks up and her eyes find Shawn's.

Shawn wonders how many more times she can surprise him with how amazing she looks. Not to mention that she can wear so many different outfits and still have the same beauty. His eyes wander from her feet to the top of her head. She wears black strappy wedges and a black cocktail dress that flows from the thigh on one leg to mid-calf on the other. It has a strap over one shoulder and she wears dangly emerald earrings. Her hair is sleek and straight and falls down around her shoulders. He's never seen her hair that way before. The red lipstick she wears is a stark contrast from her neutral eyeshadow.

"You ready?" She asks nonchalantly as she adjusts one of her earrings. He swallows the lump in his throat and nods.

At the venue, Shawn leads her inside with his hand on the small of her back. Unbeknownst to him, every time he puts his hand there it drives her crazy. He leads her toward a table next to a small stage as people mill around chatting. She takes a sip of the water at her seat and he gets up on stage to kick the party off.

"Thanks for waiting, everyone. I know it's been a long time coming but the album is finally finished and it's the perfect night to share it with you all. Enjoy!" He raises his glass of champagne and sits back down while the album begins to play.

She's already heard a majority of the songs. Mostly upbeat and very well written. Each made her dance a little in her seat. So, she's very caught off guard when the slower songs start playing. She sits still, listening concentratedly to the lyrics. Shawn sits with his hand on his chin, anxiously still.

One song, in particular, makes her sit back in her seat after taking a sip of her water. The lyrics having the same impact as if someone had struck her in the face. It's clear that this is one of the songs that he wrote about her and her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. The name of the song is Why it's about him and a girl who are in love with each other but refuse to do anything about it.

She clears her throat quietly. "Excuse me," she addresses the table as she takes her clutch and walks out into the hall. She paces as she clenches and unclenches her fists. How dare he be so passive aggressive about this when he knew from the beginning she wasn't looking for a relationship.

"Y/n."

Her head turns to the sound of her name and Shawn is closing the door to the private room to follow her. "Is everything okay?"

"Is everything okay?" She hisses quietly. "What the fuck, Shawn?" She shakes her head disbelievingly, her eyes glistening with water.

He looks at her confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that song! You wrote that about me," she whispers.

His shoulders raise up defensively. "I don't see what the big deal is. I told you at the diner-"

"That half the songs were gonna be about me. I know. But, you were joking. And now! Now, everyone is gonna see me as the heartless bitch that's playing with your emotions," she says with a wavering voice.

His expression softens. "No one is gonn-"

He stops speaking when her clutch starts vibrating. Unlatching it,  she reaches in and takes out her phone. She reads the id and eyes Shawn irritatedly as she puts it to her ear.

"Is everything okay?" She sighs into the phone.

Her expression changes into shocked and then unreadable. "No. No, I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm leaving right now."

She hangs up the phone and puts it back in her clutch as she walks toward the exit of the building. Shawn grabs her elbow gently to stop her.

"What's going on?"

She has an incredulous look on her face and gives a small laugh. "It's my Nana. That was the caretaker. She's asking for me," she smiles but her eyes don't seem happy.

"That's good right?" Shawn says with an excited tone and grabs her other elbow to face her.

She nods, swallowing hard. "Yeah, but I don't know how long it's gonna last so I gotta go."

"I'll come with you," he offers.

She shakes her head. "No, it's okay. You finish the party and I'll call you when I land." She stretches up to kiss him on the cheek and disappears.

Shawn heads back to the party, the uneasiness in her eyes eating at the back of his mind. A few hours later, Andrew makes his way over to Shawn and claps him on the shoulder.

"Where'd y/n go?" He asks with a smile. He had become more fond of her over the course of time because of how well Shawn has been doing thanks to her.

He clears his throat. "She had to go home. Her Nana was asking for her," he says with a small smile.

"She left your release party for that?" Andrew furrows his eyebrows confusedly.

Shawn shrugs. "Well, I don't think I'm supposed to tell. But, her Nana has Alzheimer's. She hasn't remembered her for a while..." he trails off.

"Oh, uh," Andrew clears his throat. "I think you should probably go see her."

"What do you mean? I'm sure she wants to spend time with her alone."

"Maybe," Andrew refuses to meet his eyes. "But, I think she could use your support after."

"After what?"

"She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" He asks growing concerned.

"Well, Shawn," he pauses trying to find the words. "Sometimes, when someone with Alzheimer's suddenly remembers everything...it's kind of known as the final burst of clarity before passing."

"Passing...as in..." Shawn's face turns pale.

Andrew just nods, confirming his train of thought. "Go on. I'll close this thing out."

Shawn doesn't need to be told twice before he races home to gather some things and then to the airport.

First P.O.V.

I stand in the open doorway to her room. Having discarded my shoes at the door, the carpet muffles my footsteps and she doesn't know I'm here yet. She looks so...small. I saw her over winter break, but she just looks even more fragile.

She sits propped up by pillows, reading an unfolded paper with slightly shaking hands. I smile to myself as at the glasses that sit on her nose. They are like comically large, with very thin frames.

I guess I must've been so lost seeing her look like her that I didn't notice her finally look up. "Y/n, sweetie. Is that you?"

"Yeah, Nana. I'm here," I say with a sad smile as I wipe at my now wet cheeks. I enter slowly and pull up a comfortable sitting chair next to her bed. My smile grows when I see the piles of letters strewn about her.

She holds her hand out and I take it, squeezing gently with a mix of emotions. "I've missed so much according to these letters," she says softly.

I shake my head as I kiss her hand. "You didn't miss anything spectacular."

"What about this boy in the recent ones?" She says with that all-knowing grin of hers.

I rest my head on the bed in embarrassment. "What about him?" I say, my voice muffled by the mattress.

"Tell me more about him! Is he your one?" She asks conspiratorially.

I lift my head up, a bemused look on my face. "You know I don't believe in that stuff," I chuckle.

"Well, you don't have to believe in it to just like him," she laughs. It warms my heart, but also sends an ache through my veins.

"I do like him. As a friend," I say not convincingly.

She squints her eyes knowingly. "Why not as more?"

"We argue too much and we're just really different. I don't think our goals for life align," I sigh.

She laughs to herself. "Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into why it won't work out."

"Nana..." I roll my eyes.

"You were always a cynical one, y/n."

"I prefer realistic."

"Either way...tell me what he's like. The letters don't say much," she insists.

I sigh, a smile playing at my lips. "Well..."

I tell her all about all the things I didn't say in the letters. I don't know how long I talked for before I started drifting off into sleep. Exhausted from the plane, I lay my head down on the mattress and sleep like that.

A pressure on my shoulder shakes me gently awake. "Wha...hm?" I ask still disoriented from sleep.

"Someone's at the door, sweetie," she whispers.

I look around and see that it's light outside. "I'll get it," I say as I shuffle to the door.

Opening it, I squint at the sudden burst of light. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust and see who's there. My chest constricts and my heart begins beating wildly.

"Shawn," I breathe out. "What...uh...what are you doing here?"

He looks at me sadly. "You need to stop doing that," he says with an unreadable tone.

"Stop doing what?" I ask as I step aside and he enters slowly.

He takes his hands from his pockets and grips my cheeks suddenly, forcing me to look at him. I instinctively suck in a breath and meet his eyes. They are full of worry and sympathy.

"Stop lying about what's going on in your life because you don't want to burden me. You don't have to push me away. You don't have to deal with everything on your own," he says passionately.

My emotional defenses kick in. "So, did you write that down first or was it off the top of your head?" I give a short chuckle.

"Y/n," he says his brows furrowing almost angrily at the fact that I'm joking right now. "Did you really just quote a Captain America movie? Seriously?"

I shrug, my facade starting to wear off as my face scrunches up and my lip quivers. "Sorry," I whimper.

He says nothing as he pulls me into him tightly. I finally release the breath I've been holding since I got here. My body shakes as silent tears trail down my cheeks and my fingertips claw at the fabric on his back.

"Y/n? Who was it?" I hear from the other room.

Immediately, I straighten up and wipe at my face. Breathing deeply, I steady myself. "C'mon. I want you to meet her," I nod toward the hall.

I walk back into her room with Shawn trailing behind me. She immediately notices and smiles.

"Who's this?"

"This is the boy, Nana," I say quietly with a blush on my cheeks.

"Oh! He's so tall," she giggles.

I snort and cover my mouth. "Yes, he is. What are you, like over six feet?" I say addressing him.

He steps from the doorway into the room, startled. "Uh...yeah. Hi, I'm Shawn," he says reaching his hand out to her and shaking her tiny one.

"Y/n, honey. Why don't you get changed? You've been wearing that dress since last night," she suggests.

I agree, saying I'll make her some breakfast when I'm finished. Once changed, I head into the kitchen to make something while I listen to laughter drift down the hallway. I smile to myself, turning on some music. I wish I could explain the feeling in my chest hearing them getting along.

Two days.

The next two days were as blissful as that moment. Just like that, I'm standing in the corner of the room while the caretaker covers her with a sheet. Shawn stands behind me, holding me tightly in a hug to keep me from collapsing on the floor. I can't. I can't keep going like this.

She had already made the arrangements for everything after that so I could grieve instead of stressing about flower arrangements. But, I don't want to grieve. I want her back. I can't even process all the emotions going through my body. Everything blurs together in my worn out and numb state.

The only thing getting me from one moment to the next is Shawn. I never thought I'd need someone so much in my life. I never thought I'd want someone there to witness all the bad shit. He just somehow knows all the right things to do and say. Just his presence is comforting.

As soon as the funeral is over, and she's laid to rest next to Papa, I begin packing up our small house. I save her room for last because I know it'll be hard to go through everything. With help from Shawn, I manage to get through it in a day.

I had already emailed all my professors at college saying I'd be missing the week after Spring Break is over. Her funeral was on Thursday. Now, it's Saturday and I'm sitting on the floor of an empty house.

Shawn sits down across from me. "You doing okay?" I shrug. "Are you just gonna leave that here?" He gestures to the small rectangular piano against the far wall from the entrance.

"I have nowhere to put it, now do I?" I smile sadly, standing up and walking over to it. I run my fingers along the worn out wood before sitting on the bench.

He joins me on my left as I tap some keys mindlessly. "You play?"

"Nah. I took a couple lessons as a kid...Nana always meant to teach me," I grin as I place my fingers on what I think are the correct starting keys. "We got as far as the basic keys..."

I feel his hand slip over mine and move one of my fingers over. "I could teach you if you want," he offers and his voice reminds me of drinking hot chocolate on a cold day.

"You have time for that?" I ask, looking at him briefly before tapping them again.

He bumps his shoulder into mine. "I'd make time." He smiles as he turns his head towards me, hand still on top of mine. Every nerve tingles and I can't help myself.

I quickly lean up and press my lips to his hastily. To my surprise and my disappointment, he pulls away. "What's wrong?" I say furrowing my brows as I look from his lips to his eyes.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now," he says cautiously. "I mean the circumstances...you're mourning..." he struggles to explain.

I stand up abruptly. "No. Yeah. You're right," I say scratching my head as embarrassment floods my body. "Uh...I think I'm actually gonna go ahead and go back to college. You know, since everything is done early."

I head to the door and out to the car. He catches up with me on the sidewalk. "Y/n, wait!"

"I'm okay, Shawn. We're cool. I get it," I say biting the inside of my cheek as I put one hand in my back pocket. "Uh, thanks for bringing all my stuff back. It saves me another long trip."

He steps toward me and his hand brushes my elbow. I shy away from it and he sighs. "Yeah. Anytime. We should leave. It's a couple hours to the airport."

"Yep."

The tension in the car was suffocating. Parting ways at the airport didn't make it easier to breathe. Arriving at the terminal, I grab my things and head back to the hotel. I'm greeted by sympathetic hugs from Xander and Anna.

Life went on. I showed up to class, I did my project and essays and studied for finals. I worked at my job every single day just so I didn't have to stop and think about anything. Anna was great about occupying my time.

She made sure I didn't stay locked in my room too much. Made sure that I was eating enough and that I wasn't sinking into the bad place. I still think about her almost every minute of the day. But, I'm starting to feel like myself again.

Finals went over smoothly. Nana always said I was a natural scholar. It's about mid-May and I'm tanning on the beach when my phone goes off. I pick it up and answer with a carefree tone.

"'Sup?" I say my eyes still closed.

There's a pause on the other end before someone clears their throat. "Y/n? Is this a bad time?" The familiar and soothing voice asks.

"Nope. Always got time for my favorite Canadian," I chirp as the sun warms my skin.

He chuckles. "You sound good. You been doing okay?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "Passed my finals. Work is great. Getting my tan on," I giggle.

Another gorgeous laugh from his end. "That's good to hear," he pauses uncertainly.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice?"

"I just wanted to hear your opinion on the video that went up yesterday," he laughs.

I furrow my brows, turning over to tan my back. "Video?"

"Yeah, the video for Nervous is on my YouTube page. I just assumed you would've seen it by now," he says in a strange voice.

I put him on speaker and open the app on my phone. "Uh...it's not like you told me it was coming out. I used to be the first to know everything. You're slacking, Mendes," I chuckle as the video begins.

My happy mood is instantly replaced with irritation. The vertical video is him sitting on something, playing his guitar. That's cool. That I can deal with. It's the girl running her hands all over him that sends a fire coursing through my blood.

I shut it off before watching the entire thing. "Yeah...it looks great. You look like you're having fun."

"Did you just watch it?"

I hum. "Like half. I get the gist."

"You didn't watch the whole thing?"

I scoff. "Why would I? It's just some girl running her hands all over you repeatedly. It's a cool video. It's gonna get a lot of buzz from all the fans."

"But, you don't like it?" He questions me.

I shrug even though he can't see. "I have no reason not to like it," I lie.

Ever since Spring Break, I've wanted to tell him the truth about how I feel. It was literally my Nana's last wish for me. To stop being so jaded and accept the good things when they come my way. And Shawn was a good thing. An amazing thing. But, the way he's been acting lately makes it seem like I've ruined my one chance.

I don't want to confess all this to him if he's just gonna reject me like back then. It's like we can't get on the same page.

"Just because you don't have a reason...that doesn't mean that you still don't," he reasons. I roll my eyes. "I heard that."

I chuckle. He knows me too damn well. "Hundred percent honesty?"

"Please."

"It's not that I don't like the video. It's a cute concept. I just don't like the random girl's hands touching all over you part," I say bluntly.

There's a long pause. "Y/n..." I close my eyes, preparing for some form of rejection. "If I had known it would bother you, I would've just asked you to do it."

I laugh out loud. "Oh, no. I prefer to stay behind the camera."

"Why? You look perfect on it."

I blush wildly. "Whatever."

He clears his throat. "Anyway, what are your plans for the rest of the summer?"

"Working and...a lot of chilling on the beach," I giggle. There's another long pause. "Your pausing gives me anxiety," I admit.

"Oh, sorry," he clears his throat. "What would you say to coming on my festival tour with me?"

I bite my lip. "I would say that it sounds awesome...but I have a job and I can't leave it for that long."

"Xander said you have all your vacation days to cash in," he answers immediately.

An annoyed grin splits my face. "I'm gonna kill him. I thought he was done meddling."

"So why do you really not wanna go?"

"I dunno..."

"Y/n."

"I do wanna go," I admit with a happy sigh.

He chuckles. "Then come with me. Seeing the world...watching amazing performances...spending a lot more time together than we've ever gotten" he entices me.

"Well...I guess when you put it that way...how could I say no?" I hear him cheer in victory to himself on the other end and I laugh. "When do I have to meet you to leave?"

"Two weeks," he says happily.

I'm a ball of energy for those two weeks before I fly to Toronto to meet Shawn and kick off the festival tour. Xander is obviously ecstatic for me as him and Anna drive me to the airport. Anna is in one of her moods.

"I just don't think it's a good idea for you to go traveling around the world with a guy you barely know," she says with her arms crossed from the backseat.

I sigh as I look at her in the rearview mirror. "Anna we've been over this. I'll be fine. And he's not some stranger I just met."

"He might as well be," she pouts.

I shake my head knowing there's no getting through to her. "I'll send you guys lots of selfies," I promise.

Xander helps me carry all my stuff to the luggage check. We hug and I thank him for being the meddling best friend that he is. I wish Anna would be as supportive as him. If I'm happy, shouldn't she be too?

I manage to finish half of one of the books I brought on the plane to Toronto. When I touch down, a man in a suit is waiting for me at the gate.

"Hey, Andrew. Where are we headed?" I ask as I approach and he turns to lead me somewhere.

"We are headed to the private section. Your bags are being routed there as we speak," he says in a business-like tone. After a beat he continues, "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too," I say honestly.

He frowns for a moment. "I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother..."

I inhale for a second. "Thank you."

With that, we walk in silence to the private terminal. I've never been on a private plane, so this should be fun.

Third P.O.V.

Shawn bustles about the cabin of the private airplane making sure that he had everything and that y/n would be comfortable. He made sure there were snacks that she'd like and an assortment of drinks.

What if she gets bored on the flight?

How could he have forgotten about entertainment?? Shawn was just about ready to pull his gorgeous brown locks out when Andrew entered from the outside.

"I found y-" He stops when he sees Shawn's panicked state. "What the hell happened to you?"

His eyes widen and he looks so defeated and ashamed. "Entertainment. I made sure the stupid plane had everything...snacks, drinks, comfortable blankets, and pillows...but no. I had to forget one important thing."

All Andrew can do is stand there and watch as Shawn has a meltdown over not having in-flight movies or something for y/n. She was talking to a luggage attendant to make sure all of her bags had arrived and were being put in the underside of the plane.

Footsteps can be heard ascending the steps and Shawn leans against a seat, trying to act normal. When y/n enters through the door, her eyes widen. It was way fancier than she thought it was going to be.

Her eyes landed on Shawn, and she could feel his anxiety from the distance between them. Her face falls. "Oh, god. What happened?" She asks concernedly as she sets her stuff in a seat and immediately walks right up to Shawn.

She places her hands on either side of his face to force him to look at her. "Iforgottomakesuretherewasentertainment..." he mumbled through his mushed cheeks.

"What?" She asks before her brain figured out what he said and she continued. "Well, I can't fly around the world without entertainment on this private plane!! That'd be outrageous! This is seriously the worst service I've ever had. I'll be taking my business elsewhere..." she says dramatically as she pretends to leave.

He grabs her by the wrists and pulls her back into him for a hug while chuckling at his own silliness. She giggles as her hands find his back and she squeezes. "You seriously need to chill a little, Shawn," she mumbles into his chest before letting go.

He just rolls his eyes. Once the plane takes off, he finds that she brought her own entertainment. Books, sudoku puzzles, and even her laptop.

"Why'd you bring your laptop?" He asks from under his fuzzy blanket and pulls one headphone off of his ear.

She continues clicking and typing on it as she shrugs. "Not telling. It's a surprise," she smirks to herself. He returns the gesture and settles back in to go to sleep.

The next time he wakes, it's her that's asleep and there are still a few hours left before they land. He figures he should wake her so she can adjust to the time difference. But, she just looks so peaceful. He takes a picture of her instead.

"Quit being creepy," she suddenly mumbles sleepily, startling Shawn.

He clutches his chest as it thumps. "I'm not."

"Taking pictures of me while I'm sleeping?" She smiles with her eyes still closed. She laughs a little. "'S okay. I do it too. You just look so cute..." she trails off back to sleep.

Wait. What the hell? Did he dream that? Is he still asleep? Shawn shakes off the weirdness of her confession and waits for the plane to reach their destination. Just before the plane descends, Shawn gently wakes her up so she can look out the window.

Her eyes light up as she sees the foreign land for the first time and while she's distracted, he takes another picture. She doesn't seem to notice this time, or if she does she doesn't say anything.

So for the first night, they'll be staying in a hotel and then they'll be taking a tour bus around the festival route. They unpack some of their things in a weird silence. Shawn isn't sure if the tension is bad or if it's comfortable.

She answers his question when she speaks. "So...how was the Met Gala?" She clears her throat slightly and keeps her back to him. He looks at her posture and can see that her motions are tight and her breathing is deep.

"It was...good," he says cautiously.

She turns around with a small smile on her face. "Yeah? Did you have fun?"

"Yeah. I did, actually. I'm glad Hailey came with me. She's a pro at that stuff," he chatters happily, his cautiousness evaporating thinking that y/n was fine.

Her smile dulls and her eyes look at the floor while she inhaled again. "Oh. That's nice," she says quietly as she takes her bag to the bathroom to lay out some things.

Shawn closes his eyes tight as he sighs. What the hell is up with the two of them? It's like they're walking on eggshells around each other but neither can say why. Shawn knows why he is.

She kissed him after her grandmother's funeral and he pushed her away. Even though he wanted to kiss her back and make her his. He didn't. Instead, he did the mature thing and stopped it. Knowing that she was just confused. Now, he's being punished for it because she was embarrassed.

But, if she was confused...then why was she jealous of the Nervous video? He opens his eyes at the sound of her reentering the room. Come on, Shawn. No one ever got anywhere by beating around the bush.

"Is everything okay?" He ventures, not wanting to get immediately to what's on his mind.

She looks at him and fake smiles before sighing. "Why wouldn't I be?" She shrugs.

"Y/n," he scrunches his eyebrows at her deflective answer. "You got all quiet and left the room when I brought up Hailey."

Her jaw clenches and she swallows. She looks at his concerned expression and she knows he's not done asking questions. This is what she wanted right? She brought up the Met Gala to ask about why he didn't want to take her. Honestly it hurt her feelings that not only did he not take her, he took a model.

"Why'd you take her?" She asks with a confused expression as she stands extremely still.

He's confused by the question. "I didn't take her necessarily, we just went together," he explains.

"Why didn't you ask me?" Her stone cold expression softens around the eyes.

"I figured you had school and work and...you know you were still grieving...plus you didn't really like being dressed like a doll last time. It wasn't like the release party where you could dress yourself, it was more sophisticated," he offers. And those were the real reasons he didn't take you. He didn't want to stress you out.

Her stare turns blank as her heart sinks in her chest. She blinks slowly to make sure she's not creating any tears. There's no reason to cry. She wanted honesty and he gave it to her. She scrunches her nose briefly as she sniffs and licks her lips, pulling her lip between her teeth.

She nods slowly. "So...now I'm not sophisticated enough for you?"

His eyes widen. "What? No! I didn't say that, y/n."

"God. Nothing I do is good enough..." she mumbles under her breath. What is she doing wrong? She dresses up in fancy clothes, he doesn't like it. She doesn't dress up in fancy enough clothes, he doesn't like it.

He squints and steps closer. "What'd you just say?"

"Never mind," she sighs and shakes her head, pulling back the covers to her bed.

He sighs while he rolls his eyes exasperatedly. "Y/n-"

"No. I'm serious. It's fine. I don't have to go to every important thing in your life. It's cool," she says as she lays down facing away from him and pulls the covers up to her chin.

He sits on the edge of the bed. She's pouting and he knows it. What he doesn't know is how to fix it. Suddenly, he smiles to himself as he places a hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't take you to the Met Gala..." he starts and she turns to look at him, her face taking on an annoyed expression. "I'm sorry I didn't at least ask you. But, I did ask you to come on this tour with me. Because I do want you to be at every important thing in my life."

She looks at him contemplatively. Her eyes twinkle and she grins to herself as she turns back over without saying anything. Shawn chuckles to himself. That must've worked. For now.

#shawn #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn x reader #shawn x y/n #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes fluff #shawn fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn angst #why #shawn mendes the album #shawn mendes songs #fluff imagine #angst imagine #skinny love #death #character death #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn being an adorable fuck #shawn peter raul mendes #drama #shawn mendes drama #beach sunrises #beach sunrises series #alzheimers

[regulusarcblack]

ok so i was tagged in a bunch of shit and didn’t reply them so the time is now

imma do the last line challenge and the wip challenge tagged by @twoghostsacoustic underneath and also the selfie challenge tagged by @finck-you-freeky and a tag game by @1diamondinthesun

it’s under the cut so it doesn’t clog yalls dash, cheers

last line challenge:

ok last line i actually wrote of a fic was:

Louis whimpered again, moving his hips up and towards his when he leaned down to mark him up on his neck, his collarbones, his nipples, wherever he could reach.

it’s from my abo au and since i’m writing it all wrong it’s not really the last line written but the one i last wrote (does this make sense? no? yea)

wip challenge:

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are

bold of you to assume i’m organized enough to actually use my wip folder~~ and not to have my masters stuff my personal stuff and my wips all in one huge mess lmao but anyway my wips are:

the storyteller: based off HS1, it’s like halfway done, i don’t even know what’s this supposed to be tbh

something you’d be good at: it’s the abo au from the last line challenge above. it’s a huge mess, 95% done 

a bunch of docs of u#28 aka batman au

ruby twoo aka part 2 of my ruby woo porn

prompts marcel exchange from a billion years ago when i entered the exchange and ended up writing another fic different from the original one i was supposed to write/seculo xiii which is research for the original fic and the fic itself

Disney AU which is basically a bunch of 1d disney aus that me and steph thought about writing lol along with the first one aka snow white and the seven dwarves

and then the beatles meet 1d which is a super cute idea i don’t think i’ll ever even try to write considering i totally had forgotten about it lmao

oh yeah there’s also steph’s bday surprise which god knows when will ever happen

tbh god fucking knows when i will ever write or finish all of these so if anyone actually reads this and wants to see wtf i’m talking about feel free to ask me to read anything

except you steph cuz i know you wanna read your gift so don’t even try

tag game:

Rules are 15 Qs, 15 mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone? no

2. When was the last time you cried? yesterday

3. Do you have any kids? fuck no, but i do have a cat

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? ye

5. What’s the first thing you notice about a person? ??? if they’re hot?? tf i dont know mate

6. What’s your eye color? Brown

7. Scary movies or Happy endings? dumbass question aren’t like a bunch of scary movies with a happy ending???? cuz someone survives?? but happy endings ok no OPEN ENDINGS I LOVE OPEN ENDINGS OK fuck me up 

8. Any special talents? None unles you count being annoying

9. Where were you born? brazil

10. What are your hobbies? mate... i’m unemployed, everything i do is a hobbie but talking shit is something i do love to do and am good at

11. Do you have any pets? Yes

12. What sports have you played/ do you play? volleyball

13. How tall are you? not very

14. What’s your favourite subject at school? listen. listen. i’ve been studying nonstop for 21 years of my life. i don’t have a favourite anything at school besides not being in school.

15. What’s your dream job? being rich

last but not least selfie challenge

coolest fucking selfie i ever took mate

anyway i’m supposed to tag people so @accio-slash @thiccstan @smellofsunshine @thepachanga i think i never saw one of your selfies?? and yea

#tag games

[6-v-6]

tagged by @artfulkey and @ringdingdongenthusiast  🦄✨

How much sleep do you get? What do you do when you can’t sleep? I get around 7 hours of sleep, but if I’m not doing anything the next day I’ll sleep for like 10... when I can’t sleep I just lie in bed with my eyes closed contemplating the cruelties of life. Or go on my phone

What’s your best feature (physical or mental)? nothin?? Okay uh I’m pretty loyal. Like I don’t make friends easily and I’m terrible at social situations and talking to people so I have like 3 friends but if I consider you a friend I’m ride or die

What are the top 3 things you admire about your bias and why? Taemin’s drive. He’s like me in that he’s on the quieter side and more reserved with his physical affections so I relate to him a lot and I often wish that I could be so driven to achieve the heights he has. If Taemin wants something, he’s very much willing to put in the blood, sweat, and tears to get it. Number two is his dancing skills. I love dance and he is phenomenal, and what initially drew me to shinee in the first place. Lastly his perseverance. When he started off he was ridiculed and essentially laughed at for being tone deaf and instead of let that crush him he turned it into his motivation. I wish I could do that lol. 

If you could tell your bias anything what would you say? I hope you know that your voice and your dancing has touched so many people. That it’s become a strength for a lot of people who have no one else. I hope that you’re happy with the person you’ve become, and if you aren’t yet I hope you will be one day

What an album that you haven’t listened to for a while but will always hold a special place in your heart? uhh I’ve never been big on albums. Maybe the Eyes of Tomorrow album by Broken Iris. I haven’t listened to that in a few years but it... got me through a lot. Before shinee or any kpop group, that was the band I listened to that helped me through some tough times

Why do you study/work in the area that you do? cuz it’s the only thing I’m relatively good at. But I also genuinely enjoy the aspect of writing that involves world-building, and I like to create characters and build them up from nothing into diverse individuals with complex relationships

If someone wanted to befriend you, what should they do/say? ah, like I mentioned it’s kind of hard, I think, to be friends with me? Because I’m so horribly awkward. Usually if you want to be friends with me, you have to put in a lot of effort ;;; to maintain contact or reach out to me first ;; because I’ll always feel annoying or unimportant so I hardly ever reach out to people first. And most people don’t want to put in the effort to be friends with me so I’m #alone. Seriously lol in all 4 years of college I’ve made 0 friends.

Out of the people that you know irl or online, who is the most similar to your bias and why? no one??? Okay maybe my best friend angelie @silverznight is similar to taemin in that she works super hard towards her goals and she’s done a lot and gone through a lot to get there

If you could drastically change one thing about your life with no negative consequences what would you change? lmao. can i change the gender i was born as?? My appearance? My height? My career? My personality? 

You have the opportunity to spend the day with your bias in your hometown. What do you do/where do you go with them? god... what does taemin like to do.. I’d take him to a billiards hall. Maybe Dave & Busters which is this giant arcade place. There’s billiards there. We’d just play around and chat over some drinks

Post a selfie (of yourself or your bias) that you love. I copied lou and put it up above ^ I don’t love any selfie so those are just the most recent from this morning

Okay now on to Lou’s questions!

1. Post one of your most loved pictures of your bias and say what you like about the picture. 

what is there not to love about this pic.... that’s the true question 2. What is something that you think people admire about yourself? legitimately nothing my dude 3. Is there something that you believe you and your bias have in common?  yeah!! Like I mentioned earlier, Taemin and I are similar in that we’re both on the quieter side in social situations. Awkward. Yet super comfortable and loud and goofy with close friends. Also we both are more averted to initiating physical contact, but fine with it when others initiate it 4. What is a food that you hated as a kid but actually enjoy now? I don’t think there is one? I still hate the foods that I hated as a kid 5. Which country would you choose to be born in, if not your home country? uhhhhhh I’m not sure. Sometimes I wonder about if my mom hadn’t been adopted though, and if I had been born in Korea, how things would be different.  6. What’s your favourite dance practice video? FUCK....... YOU CANT PULL THIS ON ME. Kay no it’s the War of Hormone bts one because it’s absolutely adorable and silly and one of the first ones I watched back when I was just discovering them 7. Is there a song that always gets stuck in your head when you hear it? hmm songs in general all tend to get stuck in my head. Can’t think of one that stands out 8. What’s an album that you haven’t listened to for a while but means a lot to you? Answered above in Bella’s question! 9. If you had the choice, as well as your mother tongue, what language would you choose to be fluent in? Japanese? Because I’ve spent 9 billions years trying to learn it and its so hard?? Let me be fluent already?? Or maybe Vietnamese so that I could talk to my bestie in her mother language 10. What are the qualities that you admire most about your bias? I feel like I answered this in bella’s third question so ^^ 11. What is a feature that you like about yourself? Nothing my dude 

My questions:

Would you rather be a leader or a follower?

If you could go anywhere in the world right at this moment, where would you choose to go?

What aspect of your bias would you want to steal for your own? (singing talent, dancing talent, etc)

Do you follow strict routines or do you let the wind take you where it will?

Which do you prefer: familiar places or unfamiliar places?

If you could travel anywhere in the world with anyone you wanted, where would you go and who would you take?

Describe one strange/unique quirk of yours

What’s an impulse you’ve always wanted to follow but never have? (cutting your hair, moving, switching careers, etc)

What’s your personal aesthetic?

Where do you go when you want to be alone?

You woke up with a superpower! What is it?

tagging

@blingjonghyun @tofnew @sataeminism @choiminoh @silverznight @leejinklies @sluthyun only if u want to ofc

#THIS IS LONG AS HEK........... #if i tagged u pls dont read that all u can skip right on down to my own questions #mobile users im .... so sorry #THANKS FOR Q'S THO BELLA AND LOU #they were fun #time to sleep and not think abt my final tomorrow #tag games #mine #🦊

[sweetseda]

The Influencer Economy Hurtles Toward Its First Recession | WIRED

The first signs of distress came not with panic, but positivity. “Hope you all are feeling safe and at peace hunkered down with your family,” one influencer wrote, paired with a selfie featuring her adorable children in pajamas. Another posted a photo of her “mini oasis,” a selection of well-kempt houseplants, along with the caption #stayhome. The new coronavirus provided an opportunity to reflect, to reset, to use code RACHEL for 30 percent off on home fitness classes. The influencers carried on in loungewear, sipping whipped coffee, modeling a sense of ease in the face of calamity.

Privately, though, some influencers have watched with a growing sense of dread as the world collapses, taking their earning potential with it. Brand deals have dried up; sponsored posts have been delayed. The great reckoning is unlikely to topple the influencer industry—by now, it’s already too big—but the business of influence is going to change. “If you think about the way an economic recession works, some companies survive and some companies don’t,” says Angela Seits, the director of influencer and branded content at the digital agency PMG. “I think that could be the same thing that happens in the influencer industry.”

For years, the influencer economy has operated in boom times. Flush marketing budgets funded closets full of expensive clothes and paid vacations to exotic locales. With more Americans taking cues from social media about where and what to buy, brands had started to go all in; a survey by Mediakix, an influencer marketing agency, found that 17 percent of companies spent over half their marketing budget on influencers in 2019. As recently as six weeks ago, one report estimated that influencer marketing would grow to $9.7 billion in 2020.

It’s not all mega-influencers, either. Micro-influencers, who have targeted followings under 100,000, make up the backbone of the industry. Even people with just a few thousand followers can earn hundreds of dollars for a single sponsored post. It’s not hard to earn an income this way. Eight-year-olds can do it, provided some adult supervision.

Everything you need to know about engagement, power likes, sponcon, and trust. 

By Paris Martineau

As the new coronavirus sends the world hurtling toward a recession, though, more glamorous trappings of the influencer lifestyle have come to a halt. Paid trips have no place amid lockdowns, nor do street-style photoshoots to model #sponsored clothes. And it’s not clear that those opportunities will reappear in the future—at least, not for everyone. “The pandemic is having a major impact on the overall influence industry, and it’ll likely have lasting effects,” says Seits.

For one thing, there’s just less money to go around. As of March, the market research firm eMarketer found that about a third of influencers were already seeing fewer collaborations. Some of those may return as the economy rebounds, but other brands will sever ties with influencers who haven’t shown they can drive sales. Even before the pandemic, “brands were already starting to prioritize longer-term collaborations with influencers versus one-off partnerships,” says Jasmine Enberg, a senior analyst at eMarketer. Now, Enberg expects that trend to accelerate.

Besides the shrinking budgets, it’s also an awkward time to advertise. “In the first few weeks of quarantine, we saw a decline in sponsored posts,” says Seits, whose agency brokers deals for brands like Sephora and Beats By Dre. There’s an unsavoriness in hawking a product while a record number of people are unemployed, or facing life-threatening illness, and brands don’t want to risk the wrong messaging.

“I had a lot of brand campaigns that were set to go live in March and even early April, and those have all been postponed,” says Lauren Elyce, a micro-influencer with 32,000 Instagram followers. One of them, for a beer company, decided against a sponsored post for fear of alienating viewers. “My income has definitely gone down.”

Elyce is still able to make some money. Like many influencers, she tags her clothes and beauty products on LikeToKnowIt, a platform that connects her followers to the online retailers where they can shop her lifestyle. Each time one of her followers buys a product linked there, Elyce earns a small commission. Lately, the revenue has remained steady. “I haven’t changed the cadence of tagging and linking, and I haven’t seen a drop,” she says. “I’ve also done little pushes for workout clothes and workout equipment. Tailoring that strategy to what people are looking for has been useful.”

Affiliate commission gives influencers like Elyce a way to suggest products more organically than, say, writing #sponsored captions for something they wouldn’t actually use. (WIRED also earns affiliate commission from retail links; read about our policy here.) It seems to be driving sales, at least for now. On LikeToKnowIt, shopping sessions were up 75 percent in March according to the company—surpassing the traffic from November, when shopping is normally at its peak. That stands in stark contrast to the overall shopping landscape: On Wednesday, the Commerce Department announced that total retail sales for March fell by 8.7 percent from the previous month.

LikeToKnowIt and other online retailers have fared better, but that might not last, especially if unemployment in the US continues to grow and people tighten their discretionary spending. Categories like fashion, beauty, and luxury will likely suffer first, and hardest. Influencers feel the uncertainty, too. “I’m not trying to push buy-buy-buy,” says Elyce. “A lot of my audience is in the same position that I am: We don’t know what the next few months are going to be like.”

Read all of our coronavirus coverage here.

If a recession brings shopping to a halt, marketers are unlikely to return to the type of broad branding campaign that’s come to define the influencer world. Seits believes that brands will demand more evidence that their marketing dollars are being put to good use, and that influencers give them sales, not just exposure. “Brands are going to be a lot more cautious about how they approach their marketing spend and their collaborations with influencers,” she says. “Now, we're seeing more of an emphasis on performance.”

This content was originally published here.

[cobwebsaint]

all 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 asks 👏🏻

1. Song of the year? I’m gonna keep to it released this year and say The Preferred by DREAMCAR

2. Album of the year? God, this is hard though!! It’s been a really good year for music, but I want to give this one to Science Fiction by Brand New or maybe The Rabbit Hole by The Great Discord.

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? Uhhh honestly Harry Styles’ solo stuff.

4. Movie of the year? I wanted to say The Bye Bye Man because it was so fucking ridiculous but in actuality for me it was probably Get Out.

5. TV show of the year? I finally gave in and started watching It’s Always Sunny this year so that’ll be what takes it for me.

6. Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you? Every episode of The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo tbh.

7. Favorite actor of the year?I have a reawakened love for Tom Hiddleston

8. Game of the year? Dream Daddy.

9. Best month for you this year? August thanks to @dirt-mccracken

10. Something that made you cry this year? @dirt-mccracken and @nikkihorrorxx for being the best friends a miserable gay man such as myself could ever ask for in a billion years and honestly that’s… about it.

11. Something you want to do again next year? See 👏 my 👏 boys 👏 David 👏 and 👏 Jade 👏

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year Uhhh I’d just like to take a moment to appreciate all the lovely people I’ve met since I dedicated my blog to the demon band that is AFI @crhiscornell @nikkihorrorxx @all-of-the-dead-girls you’re all wonderful

13. How was your birthday this year? I honestly don’t remember, all I know is that Blood came out 10 days before and I was probably laying in bed listening to She Speaks all day trying not to die

14. Favorite book you read this year? The only actual fucking book I read this year is Pop Kids so

15. What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? Becoming Davey.

16. Post a picture from the beginning of the yearTumblr won’t let me so uhhh go in my selfie tag ig

17. Post a picture from the end of the year^^

18. A memorable meal this year? Ohh on Valentine’s Day I created this pasta dish that has become A Staple for me.

19. What’re you excited about for next year? This year being over with honestly.

20. What’s something you learned this year? God I honestly just learned a lot of negative things about myself this year

21. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? Well, I moved to Florida. Twice.

22. Favorite place you visited this year? Seattle was nice.

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? “A lot’s about to change and there’s nothing you can do about it. Accept it and move forward. There’s better to come.”

24. Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I don’t even make them anymore.

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one. God uhh yeah I created a lot but most notably would be the characters in my fic For The Workforce, Drowning. They’re sweet and awful all at the same time and I love them.

#sorry this took two days whoops #nikkihorrorxx #answered

[growinstablog]

11 Ways to Get More Followers on Instagram in 2020

It’s no wonder brands and influencers are interested in the latest tips on how to get more followers on Instagram in 2020. Instagram recently reached 1 billion active monthly users, with over 500 million users on the platform daily!

What are the 500 million active DAILY users doing on Instagram? Sure, we’re posting myriads of selfies, following Insta-celebrities and crazy-talented photographers.

But, we’re also engaging with businesses.

That’s a fact that Instagram’s two million advertisers can attest to. According to advertising statistics, each of the one million advertisers (at the time) got an average of 120 engagements. Those came in the form of:

Website visits

Requests for directions

Phone calls

Emails

Direct messages

It’s clear to see – Instagrammers are open to engaging with the brands they follow!

So, how’s a brand get more Instagram followers?

Our most successful members use several techniques to grow Instagram followers organically.

Some methods involve building engagement, and others involve specific ways to get discovered.

Find the ones that make the most sense for you and give them a try!

Want to grow your Instagram followers faster? Get this free checklist for 16 quick, easy wins you can immediately use to build an audience.

Contents: How to Get More Followers on Instagram in 11 Steps hide

1. Increase Engagement to Gain Followers on Instagram

2. Become So Irresistible on Instagram They Have to Follow

3. Follow Other Instagram Accounts – with Purpose

4. Share Your Instagram Account Everywhere

5. Use Advertising to Get More Instagram Followers

6. Use Geotagging to Attract Local Followers on Instagram

7. Partner with Influencers or Complementary Businesses to Get More Instagram Followers

8. Tag (Relevant) People to Get More Instagram Followers

9. Launch Account Takeovers to Gain Followers

10. Encourage Existing Followers to Help

11. Post More Often!

1. Increase Engagement to Gain Followers on Instagram

What’s that? You came here to get Instagram followers and not engagement, you say?

Increasing your Instagram engagement can take you a long way towards reaching the goal of getting more followers. See, more engagement equals more exposure – even to people who don’t yet follow you.

Meri Geraldine is an Etsy seller who grew her Instagram account by 19,379 followers in three months, (that’s a 66% increase). She says,

“The main thing I’ve been seeing is that increased engagement leads to more engagement.

Instagram will show your most liked and commented on posts to more of your Instagram followers, and they may even bump you to the explore page of people who follow similar pages to yours.

You want the engagement in the first hour or so of posting for it to keep boosting.”

Meri Geraldine

How to Get More Instagram Followers with Bigger Engagement

We have a whole post full of techniques to boost Instagram engagement,  but here are a few ways raising your engagement can help your profile increase in Instagram followers.

Get Your Posts Into the “Top Posts” on Hashtag Searches

The “Top Results” spots for hashtag searches are determined by engagement.

Instead of being pushed out of the “Most Recent” tab in a few minutes or hours, your image will get some quality exposure right at the top of the feed.

This added exposure leads to, of course, more followers on Instagram!

To see the top results for a hashtag search, tap the “search” icon and enter your hashtag on the “Tags” tab.

Tailwind for Instagram helps you find and select hashtags that can get you here. Choose a good mix of niche, competitive, better, and best for your best chances of being found in a hashtag search.

Tailwind’s Instagram Hashtag Finder in action

Get Instagram to Feature You on “Search and Explore”

Tap on the Search icon from Instagram and you’ll land on the Search & Explore tab.

Here you’ll see Stories, videos, and images – from accounts you are not following!

If you can get your posts here, more people will find and follow you!

According to Instagram, “Posts are selected automatically based on things like the people you follow or the posts you like.”

Instagram has hinted that context matters when using a hashtag when it comes to the Explore page.

But engagement is a top algorithm factor in general.

While we can’t be dogmatic here, the selection of these results seems to be highly influenced by engagement. If you look at your “Search and Explore” results you’ll probably notice something similar to what I found:

Posts in Search and Explore have TONS of engagement or,

They were liked or otherwise engaged with by people you follow already.

In both cases, the reason the posts ended up in my Search and Explore tab was engagement!

Get Discovered in Instagram Comments

When people see your thoughtful comments on the photos of those they follow, they may be inclined to check out your feed and follow you.

You’re probably already doing this with brands and friends you like. But think about what other accounts your potential followers engage with!

Commenting on these accounts is an effective way to get followers on Instagram who are likely to engage with your content.

2. Become So Irresistible on Instagram They Have to Follow

Becoming irresistible will grow your engagement.

But it will do even more than that!

Think about what you do when you discover a new Instagram account.

You probably check out their bio (so make sure your Instagram profile is great with these ideas) and then take in the overall look of the feed.

Accounts we choose to follow tend to be:

Run by those we know or admire

Accounts sharing subject matter we cannot do without

Sharing authentic video, or

Full of images so beautiful that we want them in our lives every day.

The best accounts deliver all three. And guess what? You can make your grid look gorgeous all the time just like them with Tailwind’s 9-grid preview!

In fact, grab a free trial and then learn how to rock your grid and FORCE people to follow you!

3. Follow Other Instagram Accounts – with Purpose

Don’t play the follow/unfollow game. We want real followers who are interested in our content and who will engage with it.

In fact, using a bot to follow accounts in Instagram followers has been shown to be a losing strategy in more ways than one.

Instead, follow some people who follow your competitors. Engage with their posts to get their attention.

Beware of leaving comments that make you look like a bot, (“Nice feed!”), like you’re a bit too enthusiastic (#instastalker), or like you’re trying to sell.

Being supportive and helpful will help you grow Instagram followers organically.

4. Share Your Instagram Account Everywhere

People who follow your blog or Facebook page may not even know you are on Instagram.

Tell them! Better yet, give them a reason to follow you there.

Does your Instagram account include behind-the-scenes glimpses into your creative process, announce sales, or share local landscapes?

These are things you’re unlikely to share anywhere else – and could be just the right tactic to get real Instagram followers to your feed.

Some blogs share their Instagram feeds right on the home page or sidebar to increase Instagram followers.

This is a great way to provide a preview of what they’ll get when they follow your Instagram account!

@cynthianyongesa, The African Unicorn, includes this Instagram feed on her website’s home page.

Do you have a brick and mortar business? A simple “we’re on Instagram” sticker could be all it takes to gain followers from store traffic!

If you advertise on print, TV, or even billboards, include your Instagram handle there as well.

Making good use of email marketing? Every once in awhile, remind subscribers of what they’re missing if they don’t follow you on Instagram.

5. Use Advertising to Get More Instagram Followers

With Instagram advertising, you can target the perfect audience of potential followers. Target those who like your competitors, are interested in products like yours, people who visit your site, or those on your email list.

Your marketing objective here is Reach – getting in front of as many people as possible.

Learn more about advertising on Instagram and how you can use the right targeting to get real Instagram followers.

6. Use Geotagging to Attract Local Followers on Instagram

Does your business have any kind of local component at all?

When you add your geotag, people searching your location will spot your posts and may follow you.

Or, they may just stop by your store!

Learn how to effectively use geotagging on Instagram.

Want to effortlessly brainstorm hundreds (and even thousands) of share-worthy posts to grow a massive Instagram following? Watch this 100% free webinar to learn all our secrets!

7. Partner with Influencers or Complementary Businesses to Get More Instagram Followers

View this post on Instagram

TFW you’re havin’ an AH-mazing hair day. 🙋😊 #R29xSebastianTwistedCurls #CurlPower Photo: @cassidyturner

A post shared by Refinery29 (@refinery29) on Sep 21, 2017 at 5:02pm PDT

Who is the person or business that all your customers look to for advice?

Could you work with them to get your Instagram account in front of their followers? It could be as simple as asking them to regram one of your posts with a mention and a tag.

These partnerships are viable ways to get followers on Instagram and build relationships with other creators in your space.

Why would they want to do that for you? Well, unless they offer to share it with their audience out of the goodness of their hearts, you’ll need to sweeten the deal.

After all, they’ve spent years building up their influence!

If you have a similar following on Instagram, it may be enough to simply exchange regrams and gain followers that way.

Otherwise, you could offer to share their posts several times in exchange for their one share or vice versa. You could also approach them with a strictly monetary offer as well.

If an influencer or company shares your post or otherwise promotes your content, product, or service in exchange for money or other material gain, they must disclose that the post is an #ad.

8. Tag (Relevant) People to Get More Instagram Followers

Have you ever shared a quote from an influencer on Instagram? I know I have!

When you do, make sure you tag the influencer. Not only does this give them the credit they deserve, but they may notice, follow you, and then people who are interested in them may follow you as well!

Don’t do this JUST for an excuse to tag, though.

If you’re looking to get real Instagram followers, your approach should be authentic as well. Make sure your post is well thought out, puts the influencer in a good light, and is relevant to your account.

9. Launch Account Takeovers to Gain Followers

Is there an influencer you trust enough to let them take over your account for a day? Creating posts, videos, stories, and live video to share with your followers will not only grow your engagement, but the influencer is likely to bring some of their own followers to the takeover.

Many of them are likely to follow you, too!

This strategy to get more Instagram followers works best for those with whom you’re partnering.

Ideally, the takeover benefits them as well – or there’s always the option to pay! Again, they need to make it clear that they are being compensated for their participation.

10. Encourage Existing Followers to Help

Your followers might be more than willing to tag a friend in a comment, thereby drawing their attention to your profile.

Sometimes they just need to be reminded to do so! This can be as simple as adding “Tag a friend who needs this in their lives!” to your caption.

Your current following may be the perfect advocates to grow Instagram followers organically!

According to a study by CoSchedule, 49% of people share social content because it’s useful or entertaining.

Further, “… they say sharing allows them to inform others of products they care about and potentially change opinions or encourage action.”

When a follower tags a friend, that’s an Instagram social share. So make sure your content fits that description – useful or entertaining.

One of THE most useful and entertaining types of Instagram posts are contest posts!

In fact, our study showed that those who use contests increase in Instagram followers 70% faster than those who do not. One reason for the accelerated growth is that you can require entrants to tag a friend to enter. Get more ideas on using contests to grow your Instagram following.

View this post on Instagram

Want to win a StrongBoard Balance? 💪🏼 Enter the @jillianmichaelsworkoutjunkies giveaway! ・・・ 1️⃣ Follow us. 2️⃣ Follow @jillianmichaelsworkoutjunkies. 3️⃣ Tag a friend in the comments below for one entry. **Tag 3 or more friends for 10 entries. 4️⃣ Like this post ❤️ ・・・ The winner will be selected randomly from ours and Jillian Michaels Workout Junkies Instagram and Facebook comments, so make sure you can see yours below! ・・・ **Contest ends September 30th at midnight, & the winner will be announced the following week after confirming they meet the entry requirements. Good Luck! ・・・ This contest is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by or associated with Instagram or Facebook. Anyone can enter!

A post shared by StrongBoard🔺Balance Board (@strongboardbalance) on Sep 26, 2017 at 10:25am PDT

This contest post gives entrants more entries for more tags! Remember to make your prize relevant to your product or service to attract the right audience.

11. Post More Often!

Among all of our recommendations on how to get more followers on Instagram for free, this one is a big one.

An original study by Tailwind analyzed over 100 thousand Instagram posts from a three-month period so see how posting frequency affected Instagram success.

We found that you can nearly double your follower growth rate by moving from less than one post per week to 1-6 posts a week. You can more than double your follower growth rate again by moving from posting 1-6 times per week to once or more per day.

It can be tough to come up with ideas and images for every day of the week, so we created our 30-day Instagram Jumpstart Challenge. Thirty days of Inspiration will get you in the habit and help you gain followers fast!

Join in today!

Tailwind Makes Posting Daily Easy!

Don’t have time to jump into Instagram to prep and plan your posts every day? That’s where Tailwind comes in.

Our Instagram scheduler makes it easy to visually plan out weeks of posts in just one sitting.

It also tells you the best times to post on Instagram and suggests the perfect hashtags to complement your post. Give Tailwind a try today and experience the impact of auto posting!

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What’s Next in Your Plan to Get Followers on Instagram?

Growing your Instagram following is a great way to connect and build relationships with customers, potential customers, and influencers in your industry.

We’re excited for you to test one of our tips on how to gain followers on Instagram. Which will you try first??

📌 Pin Me:

Alisa Meredith

Alisa Meredith is Pinterest Product Specialist at Tailwind – a Pinterest and Instagram scheduler and analytics platform. She is a sought-after speaker and teacher on Pinterest and Promoted Pins in particular, having spoken at Social Media Marketing World, Agents of Change and appearing on The Art of Paid Traffic and Social Pros podcasts. Alisa has invested heavily in becoming an expert in her craft – realizing (and loving) the fact that the learning never ends!  She lives in coastal North Carolina with her pampered pets Pepe the couch potato Cavapoo, and more cats than she’d like to admit to.

https://growinsta.xyz/11-ways-to-get-more-followers-on-instagram-in-2020/

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[lakesandquarries]

do ALL OF THE NEW YEARS ASKS

First things first, did you have a good year?All in all, yeah. Been a stressful one, but I’d like to think the good outweighs the bad!

How old did you turn this year?21 🍸🍷

Do you feel your age?i feel kinda old.....i can’t join a lot of discords now b/c they have specific age ranges lmao

Did your appearance change in anyway?uhhhh well my hair was purple for a while and then i cut it SUPER short and i’ve been slowly growing it back out. other than that, been getting way better at makeup!!Post your favorite selfie.they’re all good so here’s my selfie tagIf you traveled, where did you go?i didn’t rly travel rip...Which fashion trends did you love?uhhhh idk if i pay much attention to trends?? i like the concept of millenial pinkWhich fashion trends did you hate?again....idfk trendsWhat was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?uhhhh hm. i go thru phases with articles of clothing. currently it’s the rose lalonde dress harley bought me, which i’ll post pics of it!!What song sums up this year for you?two: 100 Letters (which is, uh, _extremely_ applicable to my breakup at the beginning of the year, and I Think I’m In Love, which i feel fits my relationship with Harley pretty well. What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey, i listened to it for like a month on repeatWhat was your favorite movie of the year?Wonder Woman, which....may have been the only movie i saw in theatersDid an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?Gal Gadot!Favorite new TV show?Brooklyn 99. which isn’t new but i only saw it this yearWhich new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?taz and sanders sidesWhat food did you try for the first time?fuck idk.....Did you make any big permanent changes this year?i made a few, moving out being the big oneWhat was one nice thing you did for someone else?idk remembering that shit is hard....i bought harley like 50 billion presents over the yearWhat was one nice thing you did for yourself?i regularly buy myself bath bombs at lush and make sure to #treatmyself regularly!Did you develop a new obsession?i mean. fandom stuff. also been getting super into making playlists and makeupDid you vote?yep!Did you move?ye and i might be moving againDid you get a job?two!! Did you get a pet?yes, we got The Boy! technically he’s my mom’s thoDo you regret not doing anything?....>_>Do you regret doing something?lowkey moving

Have you done anything that scared you?i went on a roller coaster at great america!! it was just psycho mouse but i’ve always been terrified of roller coasters so it was a big deal for meDid anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?ohhhh yeah. namely like. everything my ex didDid you lose anyone close to you?no one like, died, but yeah, in a way.Did you fall in love?yes!!! and they’re sitting right next to me rn 💖💖💖Did you fall out of love?big time. went from desperately in love with someone to realizing they’d been abusing meDid you start a new relationship?kinda??? i restarted oneDid you go through a break up?YEP a pretty big oneDid you have to cut ties to someone?yeah. it was probably the hardest thing i’ve ever done and.....i’m on the path to doing it again.Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?last year my ex had me convinced harley was terrible and now i’m daydreaming about spending the rest of my life with themWho wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?my ex! last year i was desperate for their love and attention and now i have realized they sucked!If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?....maybe. i wish i’d brought up shit with my roommate sooner.What was the best moment of the year for you?i think....the first time i talked to harley again, and we clicked just as well as we had before, and i realized i could have people who made me happy without also treating me like shit? that was a really, really good moment.What was the worst?my ex breaking up with me. while i’m glad it happened, it was completely emotionally devastating at the time.Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?i’m honestly not sure? i always assume things will change me. fuck, a really good movie can change me as a person.Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did?again, i’m easily affected.What are you most proud of accomplishing?cutting my ex out of my life and never looking back.What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?i might be a very soft person, but i can stand up for myself.Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?yet again, harley. i love them so much?Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?my ex.If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?i did not make resolutions!If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?look out for myself. stop putting literally everyone else first.If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this?idk, disneyland? that’s like my ideal vacation, go to disneyland with harley.What do you wish for others for the coming year?happiness and love.What do you wish for yourself?a place where i can really feel safe and comfortable.

#cora responds #twin ace #basically this year really boils down to the Big Shit of leaving my ex and getting back together with harley