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luci-in-trenchcoats · 1 year

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Since I’ve Been Loving You

Summary: A few months after helping the reader get out of an abusive relationship, Dean and she are ready to shift their relationship to more than being just friends. But when Dean goes missing and the reader is forced to leave him in a moment of need to get help, it’ll send them down a path exploring Dean’s past neither one of them could have seen coming...

Pairing: Cop!Dean x Cop!reader

Word Count: 18,000ish

Warnings: language, kidnapping, injuries, past abusive partner, murder, whole lot of creepiness

A/N: Hi there! If the title and first few scenes of this story seem familiar, you’re not wrong! I originally wrote this story way back in 2017 and at the time felt it was too “dark” to share, hence why I only used the first bit as part of a collab experiment (which can be found here). However it’s been awhile and I’m a lot more confident with what I share (and to be honest, I’ve put out worse stuff than this). Rather than letting it sit in my drafts forever, I’ve decided to share the original story I wrote myself! Enjoy! Also shoutout to @campingmonkey for reading some of my stuff I considered not fit for posting and encouraging me to put it out there!

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“I’m home,” you said, smelling something tasty from the kitchen. You kicked off your boots and wandered into into the back of the house where Dean was stirring a pot, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “Dude, you’re not on dinner duty tonight.”

“How was work?” asked Dean, stifling a sniffle as he spun around a ladle in the stew he’d put on.

“Fine. You’re supposed to be resting Winchester,” you said, bumping him to go sit down. “I told you last night-”

“I’m relieved of my chores this week, I know,” he said, pulling the blanket tighter. “I’m lucky I’ve got such a nice roommate.”

“You’re the one that let me stay here after Redge,” you said. “I really should be making you dinner every night after everything.”

“No, that’s not how it works around here. We’re a team and besides, you’re awful at washing the cars,” he said, a tired smirk on his face. “How was work?”

“Redge was an ass but he’s always been that way. You get some sleep today? Go to the doctor like I told you?” you asked, Dean rolling his eyes at you. You crossed your arms and huffed. “Go tomorrow. I don’t want to have to drive you to a hospital over the weekend.”

“It’s a cold, Y/N,” he said. You dished up a bowl for him and yourself, not expecting him to eat much but he was still grumpy when you sat across from him. “I’m fine.”

“Alright, don’t bite my head off because I care about you,” you said, standing and grabbing him a glass of water. “Need anything?”

“No. Thanks,” he said, starting to pick at his food. You ate in silence apart from Dean coughing or sneezing a few times. He shifted in his seat more than once and you knew he was going to ask about work again. “You okay, Y/N? You’re never this quiet during dinner.”

“I got partnered with Redge today. I wasn’t a fan,” you said, playing with a carrot to avoid seeing Dean’s face. “I got used to working with you and being around Redge all day like that again with you not there just…I don’t know. I told chief I want to work with someone different tomorrow.”

“He still thinks you and Redge just had a bad break up, huh?” asked Dean. “It’s not like you tried to tell them about what he used to do when no one was around or anything. Although I guess it would look pretty bad to have the chief arrest one of his own.”

“Like I said, I owe you for getting me out of that,” you said, Dean shaking his head. “Still not biting on that offer yet?”

“You’re happy and safe, that’s all I could ever want from you,” said Dean, putting his spoon down, about half of his bowl left.

“You want to go up to bed or watch some TV with me for a while?” you asked, Dean nodding towards the family room. You cleaned up and shook off his offers to help, coming into the living room to find him curled up on the couch, his blanket still all around him.

“How you holding up?” you asked, taking a spot at the end of the couch, throwing your feet up on the ottoman. You put a pillow down so Dean could rest his head against your leg comfortably in case he decided to go to sleep. You put a hand on his forehead and saw him curl into the touch.

“S’just a cold,” he said, turning on the TV. You ran your fingers through his hair, knowing on the rare occasion Dean was up for a cuddle, he liked to have it played with. But even in those moments where he let his walls down all the way, he didn’t talk about certain things. He barely spoke of when he was little. You knew his parents got divorced when he wasn’t very old and that he felt like it was his fault just from the way he talked but that’s who Dean was. A hard man that could be softer and sweeter than any you’d ever met.

“I think I’m ready,” you said, Dean humming before turning his head up to yours.

“Ready for what?” he asked, giving you a sleepy smile.

“It’s been almost four months since I left Redge. You got me back to normal again, feeling safe and strong and like I have a home here with my friend. But I’m ready to try something new if you get what I’m saying,” you said, Dean’s face turning sad.

“You want to move out? Did I do something wrong?” he asked. You shook your head and gave him a smile. “Was it because I told you I liked you back-”

“Dean, I like you too is what I’m trying to say. As in, I’m ready to try dating again…try dating you,” you said, ruffling his head. “We’ve been flirting for weeks. Want to actually give this a go?”

“Why would you ever want to date me?” he asked. God, he could be thick-headed sometimes.

“I like your sense of humor, your kindness, the way you help people. You got some comfy flannels too,” you said, Dean’s face softening. “I like you Dean.”

“Want to go on a date when I’m feeling better?” he asked. You nodded and bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek, Dean pushing you away. “I don’t want you to get sick too.”

“It’s just a cold I’ve been told,” you said, Dean laughing before pulling one of his arms free of his blanket and reaching over to hold yours. “I love when you’re all cuddly.”

“As your new boyfriend I’m going to start getting very cuddly,” he teased, letting out a big stretch and a yawn. “On second thought…”

“Bedtime?” you asked, helping him up. “You need anything come get me. I’ll be quiet and let you sleep in. There’s leftover stew in the fridge but I’ll come home at lunch and make you something to eat.”

“I’m a grown man, I can make myself lunch,” he said, standing up as you grabbed his blanket for him. “I should really go to work.”

“You’ve got a ton of sick time built up. Take the day off and recover,” you said, patting him on the back as you got him upstairs.

“Night,” he said once you got him tucked into bed.

“Night Dean. See you at lunch.”

“Dean, I’m home,” you said, tossing your keys on the front table, expecting to find him in front of the TV but instead he was nowhere in sight. “Dean, I got hot soup and fresh bread from that place with the pies.”

The house was quiet and you sat the food down on the table, hoping he was passed out in bed. When you got up there the sheets were messy but his blanket was still there which struck you as odd. He hadn’t gone anywhere without it for two days, almost childlike with the way he carried it around.

His phone was near the bed and it wasn’t until you’d wandered around the house twice before you called Sam.

“Is Dean with you?” you asked, hoping for some odd reason Sam decided to drop by town this week and hang out with his brother.

“Hey, Y/N. No, I haven’t heard from Dean since the beginning of the week. What’s up?” he asked.

“Nothing, he’s just not home. He’s been sick and I thought maybe you took him to the doctor since Baby’s still here. Maybe he got a ride from someone else,” you said, stuffing lunch in the fridge and heading back outside.

“He didn’t leave a note? That’s not like him,” said Sam, his voice concerned now.

“Yeah. He probably got a neighbor or something to do it,” you said, Sam obviously hearing the worry in your own.

“Give me a call when you find him,” he said. “I’d appreciate it.”

“Will do Sammy,” you said, hanging up.

When the sun was starting to set though as you were leaving the station hours and hours later, you were starting to go out of your mind that no one had seen or heard from Dean since you checked on him before going to work. Your one thought was it had to have been Redge. Who else but your ex would want to screw over the guy that gave you the courage to leave in the first place?

So that’s when you started to think like him, think of the places Redge used to take the two of you, when things got too messy for home. It was another hour before you were parking your car and slipping out of it, a backpack on your shoulders and the satellite phone you’d stolen from Dean’s camping gear in your coat pocket.

It was dark and the terrain was a bit dangerous and it had decided to storm out, making it almost impossible to see. You went in the woods a short ways on the path before veering off, heading west and deciding you weren’t stopping until you were forced to. After an hour you saw the abandoned ranger’s station and broke inside, taking a short reprieve from the weather. You were gazing at a map when you nearly slipped, the floor wet from your boots but you spotted a patch of dried blood on the ground that made your stomach churn. You looked back at a map and saw that there were a pair of mines about five miles out.

“Please tell me I’m overreacting,” you said, heading back out, eventually coming across the boarded up mine, a plank missing that was big enough to get even Dean and Redge through. “Overreacting is all. Just overreacting.”

You aimed your flashlight inside and saw nothing at first glance, then a pair of ruts in the ground where someone had been dragged. You shuddered and followed it down the mine, eventually turning right and left, your flashlight falling on a bare foot and then up to the slouched over man it belonged to.

“Dean,” you said, rushing over, shoving against him as you spotted the dried blood on his stomach, the dark patch and belt around his leg. A flannel that wasn’t his was balled up against it, his own shirt held in place over his bare stomach by his crossed arms. He didn’t even look alive. “Dean,” you said shaking him again, his skin sweaty and icy cold. “Dean.”

You heard a faint grumble that was music to your ears as you shook him again, getting a louder one this time.

“Back for more?” he asked, fluttering open his eyes, watching them go wide at the sight of you. “What are you…”

“I’m going to get you out of here, okay? Then I’m going to kick Redge’s ass,” you said, figuring out what he needed first.

“Wasn’t him. Bad guy,” mumbled Dean with a sniffle, trying to go back to sleep.

“No, you got to stay awake babe,” you said, grabbing your water from your pack and lifting it to his lips, Dean sucking it down fast. You tossed a space blanket you had over him and he looked like he wanted to cry. You put a hand on his forehead and it was burning up. “Shit, you’re worse.”

“S’just a cold,” he said, getting some sense back. “You got to go. Go away before he comes back.”

“Redge can’t hurt you anymore, Dean, I’m going to-”

“Not Redge, someone else,” said Dean with a shudder. “You think I’d be fucking scared of that pile of crap?”

“Dean what’s…” you said, Dean nodding his head and shoving the bottle and blanket back in your bag. “Dean, no.”

“He’s coming back,” whispered Dean. “Go hide and then get out. Don’t come back.”

“Dean,” you said, his hands using most of his strength to give you a light shove.

“Please, do what I said,” said Dean quietly, your bag shoved in your arms as you spotted a flashlight down a different tunnel. “Please.”

It hurt to leave him but the look on Dean’s face made you do as asked. You took off and hid around a different corner a ways down, listening as footsteps walked towards Dean and stopped.

“Screw you,” you heard Dean say before he started to mumble and then take a big choking gasp of air. “What’d you just give me?”

“Medicine. You’re welcome,” said the voice, definitely not Redge and not one you recognized. “You going to behave this time?”

“Give me back my gun and we’ll-” Dean said before it sounded like something smacked him in the face.

“I stitched you up and everything. Couldn’t have let my new toy bleed out,” said the person, a man, his voice deep and harsh.

“I am not your new toy,” said Dean, spitting blood out of his mouth from the sound of it and coughing up a storm before breathing raggedly.

“No, you’re right. You’re my old one, aren’t you Dean?” said the man, Dean hissing as you tried to make out what he was doing. “Took a long time to find you, boy. Too bad Daddy’s not around anymore to come and save you.”

“Well I’m flattered but why don’t-” said Dean before you heard his head hit against the rough wall, a tiny whimper of pain coming out of Dean.

“Just as mouthy as you were back then. You don’t even remember me,” said the man.

“No but my dad sure as hell told me what happened when I was old enough. You took me right off the front porch, psycho,” said Dean. “You’re the reason they-”

“Your mom had a nice right hook,” the man said, Dean sucking in a gasp as he grunted. “Too bad she ain’t around anymore either. Been waiting a long time for this.”

“For what you freak?” asked Dean weakly, his mouth mumbling again as he huffed.

“It’s duct tape you big baby,” he said, Dean grunting more now as you heard him struggle, breathing in hard. “God, you’re going to take some breaking in.”

Whatever was going on, you knew that you needed backup and that you’d beat yourself up about not bringing your gun with you later. You got out of there as quietly as you could and radio’d the station, keeping an eye on the entrance as you hid. But neither one of them ever came out.

You stayed there for another hour or so, the rest of the station showing up finally, the chief waving you over to talk when they came out of the mine empty handed.

“What-”

“The mine is empty. There’s multiple ways in there. You’re sure this guy knows Dean from when he was a kid? There’s no report of anything ever happening to him,” said the chief.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if they made the whole thing up just to screw with me some more,” said Redge.

“For fucks sake, Redge, I just want you to not be an abusive dick, not go to jail for shooting and kidnapping my boyfriend,” you said, puffing out your chest. “So they’re gone? Dean’s just gone and we have no idea where he is? He’s hurt and sick and-”

“How did you find him?” asked the chief. “This isn’t exactly my first thought for a search.”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe Redge would like to share how I know about secluded places where people can hurt other people?” you said, crossing your arms at him.

“If she thought…I took Dean she would have gone to the old ranger’s station,” said Redge, kicking his boot on the ground. “Probably saw a map and figured if he wasn’t there he had a shot at being in the mines.”

“You two need to work on whatever issues you’ve got,” said the chief, giving you a hard glare.

“Can we focus on Dean? They can’t have gone far right?” you asked.

“Let’s hope not.”

“Coffee?” asked Redge, poking his head into the conference room you were using as a base in your search for Dean. You shook your head, holding up your cup. “How’s it going today?”

“Redge, don’t pretend to play nice,” you said, looking back over your shoulder. “We both know you don’t give two shits about Dean.”

“He’s a cop. We got each other’s backs and all that...whatever,” he said with a shrug, trying to take a step in the room before catching your glare. “You too, I mean if you ever need a friend, shoulder to cry on you can always-”

“He’s only been missing two weeks and you already think I’m just going to come crawling into your arms? Get lost,” you said. “You aren’t even working this case.”

“Okay, I’ll just go do my job and Dean’s then,” he said, slapping the door frame hard on the way out.

Another week went by of nothing and then another and another. After missing for two months and Sam coming to stay with you to help out, the case officially went cold.

Another month and Sam had to leave town a few days, tidy up some things at home before officially making the move there but he swore he’d be back as soon as he could.

The chief told you to take a few days off and give yourself a break. You took the excuse with Sam gone to get out of town yourself, drive and drive until you were exhausted and crashing at some cheap motel a few states over. You’d spent the day in a bar and your head in a bottle and tried to forget about how he had saved you way back when and you couldn’t do it back.

“Another one,” you heard a guy farther down the bar say, your head whipping up. You didn’t stare as you heard him flirt with the bartender. He sounded like the man from the mines but you were drunk and couldn’t be positive. Still though, you jotted down his license plate when he finally left and got a cab back to your room. When you’d sobered up enough in your motel to figure out who it belonged to, you had a spark of an idea. The guy only had a few drunken misdemeanors but he owned a large lot of acreage with plenty of buildings on it.

The next morning you got up early and you threw on your boots and backpack, and headed out on the property. You checked every tiny ass shed, every big ass garage, every out building, every rusted old car until it was night and you were ready to curl up on the ground and go to sleep.

You only had a few more buildings though so you kept going, ready to hit the bottle of bourbon you took from Dean’s house the second you were in your room. It looked like every other shed you’d been in, pieces of junk and metal lying around. This one had a door hatch to a cellar like most of the others and the second you threw it open, you saw more of the same. You went down the steps, barely keeping your eyes open as you swung the flashlight around and your eyes went wide.

There was light down here and a sink and a tiny mattress and a whole slew of other crap that would have drawn your attention if not for the scruffy, green eyed man who was looking at you like you weren’t real.

“Dean?” you asked, watching him shake his head at you, your gaze finally looking over his body as you took in a sharp breath. “Dean it’s okay,” you said, pulling a knife out of your bag and walking over, his body backing up against the wall so fast as he sat down, giving you a hard glare. “I’m just going to cut you loose.”

“You’re a trick,” he said, looking around and you carefully took a step forward. “Don’t touch me.”

“I won’t touch you,” you said, holding up your hands. “But you want that cuff off your ankle? I have to come closer.”

“Give me the knife,” he said. You bent over and slid it to him, watching him grab hold of the thing tethering him to the back half of the room and cutting it free. He stood up and you smiled.

“Dean are you-Dean!” you yelled at him when he backed you up against the wall, holding the knife out, way too close for comfort.

“You’re drugging me again, aren’t you? This probably isn’t even real. Y/N would never be here. She just wouldn’t. You’re just making me think what I want again, aren’t you?” asked Dean, his face fuming under that beard as you tried to think of a way to calm him down. “You’re just-”

“I brought your shirt. The one you gave me that first day I moved in,” you said, slowing taking your pack off and handing it to him. He was only in the tee and pair of flannels you’d last seen him in, the clothes ratty and practically falling apart now. “The red and-”

“Black one,” said Dean quietly, giving you a long stare before backing up and ripping open the bag, the flannel right on top.

“It really helps when you’re feeling crappy,” you said, his hand holding the knife dropping it completely. He pulled the flannel out and you saw a flicker of relief on his face.

“Real?” he asked running his hand over it, looking at you and the open door behind you.

“You want to come home? We’re kind of overdue for our date,” you said, Dean giving you a head nod. He carefully put the flannel on as you pulled a pair of his sneakers out, glad you’d brought them on the off chance he didn’t have any footwear. You picked up the knife and stuffed your bag closed, Dean standing quietly in the middle of the room with his head down. “Dean?”

“What?” he asked, your hand taking hold of his, feeling so much rougher than you remembered.

“Come on,” you said, giving him a little tug so he took a step. He was okay for a minute until you got close to the stairs and you saw how pale he’d gotten, how nervous he was to walk farther than he’d been allowed to go for so long. “Nice romantic starlit walk,” you said, taking a step up, going one at a time with him as he looked around when you were in the shed.

“I don’t remember this,” he said. “I don’t remember after the mines until I woke up here.”

“We got a little walk to get to my car,” you said, stopping when the two of you stood outside and he looked up, taking a deep breath.

“Okay,” he said, spinning around happily before it all faded away. “Wait what time is it?”

“About 10, why?” you asked, hearing a truck off in the distance.

“We have to go,” said Dean, letting you take the lead as you tried to run, Dean a bit slower than you’d seen him before. “He drops off food at night.”

“It’s only a couple miles to the car,” you said, slowing to a jog so he could keep up, his hand shaking the whole damn time until you had him shoved in the passenger seat and you were driving away, calling the local cops. Dean was quiet apart from saying he was hungry and even after you swung through a drive thru fast for him, he was quiet, looking around like he didn’t quite believe everything.

By the time you’d gotten to the local hospital, a few officers were there to let you know they’d got the guy but Dean seemed more interested in arguing with the doctors.

“If he doesn’t calm down, we’re going to have to restrain him,” said the doctor, as you heard Dean yelling in his room.

“Dean,” you said, brushing inside past a group of bodies as Dean glanced around the room angrily. “Dean, none of these people are going to hurt you.”

“Tell that to the one that stabbed me with a needle,” said Dean, rubbing at his arm where his IV was and giving a nurse a glare.

“Dean. Check?” you asked, hoping he’d remember what that meant. You’d never done it on him and you honestly weren’t sure how he’d come up with the little daily check in’s after you left Redge but they’d always made you feel better that cared like that. He glanced around for a second and back down at himself in a hospital gown, all the marks on him proving life had been awful the past few months.

“Yellow,” he said quietly, willing himself to calm down. “Just tell them to stop poking me and touching me and…” he said as he looked around at the room full of people, rubbing his arms like he was trying to hold himself. “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay babe,” you said, holding his hand, nodding for the doctor to go back to whatever he was doing. Dean hissed a little when the doctor lifted up his arm.

“His shoulder is likely dislocated,” said the doctor to you. “Do you know if this is recent?”

“Dean?” you asked.

“Last week,” said Dean, ducking his head down. “I got in…trouble.”

“Let’s x-ray and see if we’ve got any nerve damage,” said the doctor to a nurse.

“Dean, you tell the doctor and nurses what they need to know. I promise nobody’s going to hurt you. I’ll be right here when you get back, okay?” you said, Dean nodding his head as he relaxed around the people trying to treat him.

“Alright,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze before you were forced to go. “Don’t go too far.”

It took them two days before they released him, a whole slew of nutritional issues not to mention everything they warned you about. Apparently Dean was prone to sudden, potentially violent, outbursts now and your history of abuse didn’t make for a great combination.

It was fine the first night back at home with Sam helping out until you dropped the syrup on the floor after putting some on Dean’s plate.

“What are you a klutz!” shouted Dean, waving his hands everywhere. “You don’t drop things, got it?”

“Dean,” said Sam, watching his brother carefully. “That’s Y/N. She’s not going to hurt you for not making your room spotless.”

“I used to get hurt,” said Dean glaring down at you as you wiped up the little bit that had actually spilled on the floor.

“So did Y/N. You got to let us help you,” said Sam, guilt washing over Dean’s face as he realized he’d snapped.

“I’m as bad as Redge,” said Dean, running a hand over his face before bending down to help clean up, even if you were finished.

“Check?” you asked Dean, his head shaking. “Check?”

“Orange,” he said, glancing at his lap.

“Why are you orange, Dean?” you asked, running a hand over his head, Dean seeming to be most responsive to soft touches like that lately.

“I yelled at you for no reason and what happened with me is no excuse for treating you like that,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, helping Dean sit up again back in his chair. “I want you to try something. Whenever you feel like getting mad, think about if it’s because you’re mad or if because it’s something you used to get in trouble with him for. If you want to get mad because I toss dishes in the sink and forget to put them in the dishwasher, get mad. If you want to get mad because my covers are crooked when I make my bed, maybe you aren’t really mad but you’re tired of being scared so it’s coming out that way instead. So if it’s the later and you’re scared, you just come find me or Sam and give us both a big hug okay?” you said. “We’ll give it right back until you’re not scared anymore.”

“Are you serious?” asked Dean, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t need a…what are you doing.”

“I’m giving you a hug,” you said, bending down and wrapping your arms around him. “You’re scared so it’s hug time.”

“This is a monumentally stupid idea,” said Dean, looking to Sam for help.

“I don’t think so,” said Sam, standing up and walking over to your side of the table. He bent over and gave Dean one too, the older Winchester groaning as he was trapped between the two of you.

“You two are annoying,” said Dean, letting his head lean against yours.

“Check?” you asked, Dean giving you a tiny smile.

“Yellow green,” said Dean, watching neither you or Sam pull away. “I don’t get out of this until I’m green, huh.”

“Now you’re getting it,” you said, kissing the top of his head. After a few minutes of you and Sam straining your backs you heard Dean chuckle that he was green.

“I guess you have a point,” said Dean, Sam ruffling the top of his head as he returned to his seat.

“You gave me lots of hugs when I first started staying with you,” you said to Dean. “Made me feel safe. I get what’s going on in your head, trust me.”

“Some random psychopath kidnapped you and you have no idea why too?” asked Dean, a teasing smile on his face. “I just want to know what he had planned.”

“You want to talk about it?” asked Sam, Dean shaking his head. “You focus on getting back to your old self and let the police figure out the rest. Y/N’ll probably take a crack at it and she’ll figure it out in a few hours I bet.”

“Months of nothing and when I snuck off to get drunk I got lucky Sam,” you said, Dean flinching a little in his seat. “I’m just glad work will get back to normal.”

“How was Redge?” asked Dean, his face looking very much like the old Dean. “Don’t tell me he’s tried anything or I swear…”

“Redge is more indifferent of Y/N than anything at this point,” said Sam. “She may have thought he took you at first. She’s scary when she’s pissed off.”

“I don’t like you near him all day, not after what he did to you,” said Dean. “I thought he was on a different shift than us anyways, only came in because I was sick a while back.”

“They were down an officer and I made sure he knew he was on a short leash,” you said, shoving the last of your dinner in your mouth. “A very short leash.”

“Remember when he was our biggest problem?” asked Dean, running a hand over his torso, his fingers tracing over a spot through his shirt. “Getting shot sucks.”

“Y/N, do you want to clean up and I’ll help Dean with a shower?” asked Sam, Dean’s face a mixture of embarrassment and content. “Oh come on, like I’ve never seen you without pants on.”

“Shower sounds good,” said Dean, parts of him still filthy where he didn’t get a good scrubbing at the hospital. “Then I want to pass out in an adult sized bed again.”

Sam helped Dean up but let him walk on his own, the two of them up in Dean’s bathroom for awhile until you heard the water turn off and Sam shouted for you to come in. Dean was sitting on his bed in a tee and boxers, looking pretty tired but his eyes had a spark back in them.

“How’d we do?” asked Sam, ruffling a towel in Dean’s hair, getting a laugh out of his brother. “We can’t do anything about him being horrendous unfortunately.”

“Oh shut up,” said Dean, pushing Sam away with a smile. It got even bigger when he saw what you were holding, his blanket he’d been using before he was taken.

“Alright, get in,” you said, Dean shifting around so he was under the covers, Sam helping you spread the blanket out over top of him. “Do you need anything…and he fell asleep already.”

“Huh,” said Sam, Dean passed out the second his head hit the pillow. “He wasn’t joking about wanting a real bed again.”

“Should we stay?” you asked, Sam shrugging. “The doc said we shouldn’t coddle him.”

“He was cracking jokes in the shower,” said Sam. “You’re his girlfriend though so I’m sure you can-”

“Sam, we dated for all of four hours before this happened. We’ve never even been on a date,” you said. “You stay. I got to go check out a few things.”

“Y/N, it’s late, where-”

“I want to know what that guy was up to,” you said, walking out. “I’ll be downstairs. I promise I’ll come up in a couple of hours.”

“Y/N, he’s home and safe again. Take the night off,” said Sam, that slightly older brother tone coming out. “You need rest too.”

“You didn’t see him in that basement, Sam, or the mines. I want Dean to know this guy is never coming near him ever again,” you said. “I’ll log on quick and see what the prelim file says. Then I’ll be back, I promise.”

“Fine,” said Sam, taking a seat in a soft chair in the room and kicking his feet up on the bed, shutting his eyes.

“Thanks for everything,” you said, Sam keeping his eyes closed but giving you a smile.

“Family doesn’t have to thank each other,” said Sam, nestling down into his chair. “Don’t work too long.”

“I won’t,” you said, heading downstairs to the office, figuring it’d take you five minutes tops to read over the early report. You were logging in when you heard a car out front and saw the blue and red lights through the window. You growled and stormed to the door before they had a chance to ruin Dean’s sleep. Art and Charlie were giving you careful stares as you squinted at them on the front path. “What do you guys want?”

“Is Dean okay?” asked Art. You looked between them both and then saw another car come up.

“Don’t tell me the guy got loose,” you said, the officers looking at each other before at you. “How hard is it to-”

“Where’s Dean?” asked Art. “Now, Y/N.”

“In bed asleep. Recovering. Don’t you two dare go and wake him up with what’s probably going to be the most restful night’s sleep he’s had in months,” you said, two more officers, one of them Redge coming into view. “Well, let’s have a party in the front yard why don’t we? Not like-”

“Is he alone?” asked Charlie, taking a step forward. You scoffed and he shook his head. “Is he?”

“No, he’s with Sam and-Hey!” you said, watching all four of them rush inside. They only sounded like a freight train going up the stairs like that as you stormed after. “Dean’s fine alright? You can visit in the morning.”

You heard groaning from Dean’s room and wondered how pissed he’d be that Redge was in his house. The sheets were messy and thrown back as you looked around for the source of it but instead saw Sam holding his head in his hands.

“Looks like he got him,” said Charlie, moving with Redge out of the room and down the hall. “Art, new guy, stay with those two.”

“It’s Jimmy. Again,” said the black haired man that was helping Sam sit upright. You flicked on the light and saw the spot of blood on his head.

“Dean, he…ow,” said Sam. You walked over and rubbed on his back, ready to kill whoever it was that let Dean’s creepy stalker take him again.

“House is clear, set up a perimeter in the neighborhood. Art, help outside,” said Charlie as you glanced around.

“How did he even break in?” you asked, only the bathroom window open from the looks of it and there was no way up. “We’re up on the second floor.”

“Y/N,” said Jimmy with a cock of his head. “Dean’s kidnapper is still in custody.”

“Then who-”

“Dean just…” grunted Sam. “He sat up and clocked me way harder than he ever has in his life, grabbed a bag from the closet and sounded like he threw on his shoes and bolted out the window.”

“What…” you said, starting to move for the bathroom but Jimmy catching your arm. “Why would he do that?”

“There’s evidence that Dean wasn’t always in that basement,” said Jimmy.

“What does that mean exactly?” you asked, squinting at him. He sighed and looked away.

“It means that Dean very likely did what he had to in order to survive and at some point, it broke him,” said Jimmy.

“He’s scared and has PTSD, he’s not broken,” you said, shrugging out of his hold.

“The kidnapper had an alias, multiple aliases. Multiple plots of land and a couple other basements, just like that,” said Jimmy. You opened your mouth to argue but Jimmy shook his head. “Dean’s DNA is all over those places, those crime scenes. Three other men, all Dean’s age, some looking like they’ve been there a long time. All three were murdered. By Dean.”

“You’re being insane right now, I mean-”

“Dean kept a journal. We found it in the basement. They had to fight, they had go against each other to live and at a certain point, Dean started hurting them because he liked-”

“Stop. Talking,” you said. Sam looked ready to throw up but this guy didn’t know Dean and he didn’t know you. He was the rookie meant to replace him until Dean got on his feet, a quiet gig where he could probably do the mundane small town crap with his eyes closed. But this guy was a stranger and frankly he was the only cop in town you remotely trusted after everything with Redge. “Officer…”

“James Novak,” he said. “People call me Jimmy.”

“Jimmy, I used to be in an abusive relationship with Redge, you know, a cop? Dean, your ‘murderer’ saved me from it, gave me a home and a friend and a safe place to stay. He would not do those things to those other people. He’d try to save them. Dean is really smart. He would probably make the guy think he likes it to get more freedom and work on getting back at him. When I found him, he wanted to kill the guy. Dean doesn’t-”

“You’re talking in theory. You can’t know-”

“Dean has been alone with Sam and me for the past twelve hours. If he’s so bad, why didn’t he rip us to shreds then?” you asked. “I don’t know what he’s doing but he’s trying to protect us because that’s who he is.”

The officer didn’t say anything but he looked at you and Sam, knowing Dean would have had to give his own brother that hard of a hit in order to have enough time to get away.

“He didn’t do it. Give me a chance to prove it before you write him off too,” you said, Jimmy’s gaze flickering down and back up.

“You have no way to prove his innocence. Even if it was under duress, it still…” he trailed off, moving behind you as he stared at the wall. “Why would Dean have a teddy bear on his dresser?”

You spun around and saw the brown stuff bear on the other side of the room.

“I don’t know, I thought it was supposed to be a present or something,” you said, Jimmy picking it up and practically ripping it in half. “Hey that’s…what the fuck is that?”

“A hidden camera,” said Jimmy, holding up the lens and the wire that was tucked safely behind the dresser and probably into the wall, out of view. “Who put this here?”

“We both just assumed Dean was going to give it to Y/N on a date or something,” said Sam, glancing around.

“Has anyone else been in his house since Dean was taken?” asked Jimmy, glancing around.

“The internet guy, roof repair, the…” you trailed off, looking over at Sam.

“The mold guy,” said Sam, turning to Jimmy. “We were booted out of the house for three days.”

“The house is bugged?” you asked. You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. “It would keep Dean in line, show him we weren’t safe here.”

“It certainly helps but it’s not proof enough that Dean-”

“Then help us get it, Jimmy,” you said. “Please.”

“Running makes him look guilty,” said Jimmy. “But he might have run if he thought you were safer without him.”

“How would we be safer?” you asked, Jimmy shaking his head.

“I don’t know. But something is going on around here and we’re going to get to the bottom of it.”

“Sammy, I miss Dean,” you said, plopping down on the couch after work, throwing your legs over his lap as you stared at the ceiling. “He’s gone from person of interest to don’t be hesitant to use force on him.”

“I want him back too,” said Sam, letting out a sigh. It’d been almost a month since Dean took off and you weren’t all that surprised when his kidnapper was let loose after a failure to gather evidence on him. He played the part of dumb and innocent well, avoiding the alias thing when his lawyer explained that your guy never technically owned the land from those other lots. Sam called bullshit on it but there wasn’t enough there. You’d never technically seen the guy with Dean and your relationship with him left you more liability than help at this point.

“You think Dean’s hiding from him? What if he got ahold of Dean again, no one would have any idea where to look, let alone we’re the only two people that care at this point,” you said. A knock at the open screen door made you sit upright as Jimmy came in with some takeout.

“Glad to know I’m valued so highly around here,” said Jimmy, taking off his shoes and heading for the kitchen.

“Three people care,” said Sam, hopping up as you sat down for dinner. “Anything at all today Jimmy?”

“Not on the Dean front,” he said, giving you a sad smile.

“I know you’re trying when you really don’t have to. We appreciate it Jimmy,” you said, watching him shrug.

“I never even met Dean and I like him more than any of the other people we work with. I do have some other not so great news, chief mentioned after you left,” said Jimmy. You waited for him to continue as he pulled out a few boxes, sliding them over to you and Sam.

“We’re waiting in suspense,” said Sam, Jimmy taking a deep breath.

“Y/N, you’re being…reassigned to patrol 8,” said Jimmy. “Chief is sticking you back-”

“Redge is my partner! Come on. I don’t want to drive around with him all day,” you said, Jimmy sighing.

“I tried to tell chief that it wasn’t a good idea but everyone looks at you all shady now and Redge is the new golden boy since Dean’s been gone. He thinks Redge will figure out if you’re really up to something with Dean,” said Jimmy.

“Thanks for dinner, Jimmy,” you said, grabbing your box and your car keys, both guys grunting from the kitchen. “I want to be alone right now. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

They continued to grumble but let you be. You drove past the edge of town and parked in a field you used to go to when you wanted to get away from Redge. You sat on the hood of your car and pulled out your burger, taking a big bite and wondering if transferring would make you look guilty too.

You finished fast and were positive the guys were talking about you as much as they were Dean tonight. He’d vanished into thin air and you always wondered if he went back to where his kidnapper was from, if there was some reason he would go looking for something else.

You glanced at your phone and it was only seven. If you drove all night you could make it there by the morning and spend the weekend looking for him. Sam told you not to do that more than once though. Last thing you needed was you going missing too.

“Where are you, Dean?” you said quietly after finishing, laying back and closing your eyes.

About three seconds later something hit you hard in the hand and you whacked at whatever bug just stung you. Glancing down there weren’t any bug guts, just a blue paintball splatter. You spun your head around to the right, nothing but tall grass in that direction. Teenagers ran around out here a lot and you wouldn’t be surprised if you took a stray-

“Ow!” you said, waving your hand as it got hit in the same spot twice. “Knock it off!”

When it happened one more time though and your face was scrunched up in pain, you had to wonder what kid had a shot that accurate. You slid off your hood and walked to the right, the shooting seeming to stop now but you heard a rustling that made you jog after. You couldn’t keep up in the dense terrain but there was an obvious path to follow. By the time you got through, the sun was set and you were using your phone for light. There was a run down farm house in front of you, no lights on inside but the door was open.

“Call it in,” you muttered. It very well could have been the kidnapper but if it was Dean, they’d whisk him off to prison and not think twice. “I better not end up in some lifetime movie.”

You grabbed a sturdy looking branch and made your way inside slowly, trash everywhere but a few paint ball pellets leading a path for you down a hall and to a flight of stairs to a basement.

“Not a horror movie, not a horror movie,” you mumbled, taking as silent a step as possibly onto the first step. Halfway down they started to creak and you knew your cover was blown if you had one in the first place. It was dimly lit and you’d only scanned half the area before your makeshift weapon and phone were snatched away from behind, a shove pushing you forward against a wall. You spun around, ready to knee the person but stopped when you saw Dean staring back with a dark hoodie and jeans on.

“You need to stop trying to find me,” he said, tossing the stick to the side, turning off your phone and throwing it on the ground.

“Looks like I did and that was expensive you know,” you said, Dean’s face showing no amusement. “I know you didn’t-”

“You don’t know what I did,” said Dean. “What I can do when I get pushed far enough. This is your warning to stop looking for me and get on with your life.”

“Dean, I’m not scared of you,” you said. He stepped forward so your back was pressed up against the wall, his arms on either side of you as he leaned down.

“You should be,” he said, his face hard and dark.

“They’re forcing me to take Redge as my partner,” you said, Dean’s face holding strong but his eyes flickered for a few seconds, concern darting all over the place. “You can’t fool me, Winchester. You’re not the bad guy.”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m not, Y/N,” he said, leaning back and moving his hood back to run his hand through his hair. “It’s the part I have to play from now on.”

“Why? Let Sam and me and Jimmy help,” you said, Dean raising an eyebrow. “New cop meant to come in to replace you. He doesn’t believe you did that stuff.”

“The guy is out there. He only wants me so I have to stay away from you and Sam so that he leaves you alone,” said Dean.

“He’s not a cop, he can’t-”

“This guy took me as a kid, Y/N. I was too little, way too little to even remember but he had me for a few days. I always thought it was random but I knew dad left something out of the story. I was a cop’s kid and it wasn’t hard to figure out dad screwed somebody over and they wanted to get back at him,” said Dean.

“Why’d he come back Dean? This seems personal but the stuff with your dad is done with, isn’t it?” you asked, Dean shaking his head.

“I’m not telling you,” said Dean. You crossed your arms and he crossed his. “I’m not telling you.”

“Dean, please, give me something,” you said. “I’m trying to prove you’re innocent and it was a set up but-”

“Y/N, just stop. It’ll never happen. I’ll always be on the run. There’s too many things to this. You have to get on with your life. You’ve spent the past half year looking for me and you got to move on,” he said. “Sam too. Tell him to go back home. Maybe you can go with him, get out of this town, find another nice guy. There’s more than one of us out there.”

“I want you,” you said, stepping forward to try and hug him, Dean stepping away. “We never even went on a date.”

“I guess I don’t really have to break up with you then,” said Dean, kicking it the ground. “We never even had a chance to try.”

“Why did you bring me here, to tell me to go away?” you asked. Dean nodded and shrugged.

“Basically. I wanted you to know I was okay and that-”

“You are not okay,” you said, looking him up and down. “You’re more scared than when I found you in that basement. You’re angry and cold and you think this would all be easier if I turned my back on you and let you live the rest of your life in some kind of on the run Hell or in prison. Guess what? I used to be that way until you told me I could never push you away from helping me. You made me furious because you wouldn’t understand that I was a lost cause. You know what? I wasn’t and neither are you. If you don’t tell me what’s going on right now I swear I’ll find a way to force you to tell the truth.”

“This is different, sweetheart,” said Dean, a sliver of warmth in his voice again. “It’s too late and you’re forgetting I made you a promise that’d I’d keep you safe. You have to do what I tell you and forget about me.”

“Make me,” you said. Dean sighed and cocked his head over to the side, a bottle and a rag on top of a shelf. “What is that?”

“I want you to leave now. Tell Sam the house is his if it’s not already in his name. Sell it and get out of this place,” said Dean.

“No. You’re not letting me help you and I can and…” you said, Dean grabbing the rag and tilting the bottle over it for a second.

“You’ll wake up in your car in a few hours,” he said, glancing down. “I wish I could-”

Dean was strong enough to pull the rag away after you’d pressed it against his mouth but the fumes left him weak and it made the rest of the job easy until he was slumped over on the floor.

“What the fuck is going on with you, Dean?” you asked, looking at him like he’d passed out on the couch, so much softer when he wasn’t clenching his jaw at you. You grabbed your phone and thankfully it turned on even if it was cracked. Thirty minutes later Sam and Jimmy were there, throwing a blanket over an out cold Dean in the back of Jimmy’s car.

“Now what do we do?” asked Sam.

“I think we’re going to have to interrogate your brother.”

Dean was not all that happy to wake up and find his wrist cuffed to a chair at the small, out of the way house Jimmy was staying in. The three of you were in the kitchen trying to figure out how to keep Dean safe and get him to open up when he started yelling at the top of his lungs.

“Dean, calm down,” you said, flinging open the door to the back room he was in, Sam and Jimmy right behind you. “No one is-”

“Let me out, now,” he said, trying his best to dislocate his thumb to get it off but you’d made the cuffs too tight on purpose, Dean grunting when he saw it was no use. “I swear-”

“Check?” asked Sam, Dean blinking a few times. “Do you remember check, Dean?”

“I’ll check you into the wall if you don’t let me leave right now,” said Dean, fuming at the both of you, his gaze landing on Jimmy. “You must be the new guy, huh? Do me a favor and cut me loose.”

Jimmy stepped inside and grabbed a chair, placing it across from Dean and taking a seat.

“Oh come on, I-” Dean got out before Jimmy slapped a hand over Dean’s mouth and Dean’s free hand shot up to tug on his wrist. To your surprise, it didn’t move and Dean started to dig his fingers into Jimmy’s flesh hard.

“You’re being very stupid Dean,” said Jimmy. “Or would you remember me better if I told you my name was Cas?”

There was a slight pause on Dean’s part as his eyes looked over Jimmy, dropping his hand away the same time Jimmy moved his.

“You do remember me,” said Jimmy, giving Dean short smile.

“I always thought…” said Dean, smiling a little at him, giving you and Sam both a look. “This is...Cas.”

“So your name isn’t Jimmy Novak?” asked Sam, Jimmy, or better yet Cas, giving a shrug as you took a seat nearby.

“My cover name is. I’m a special agent,” said Cas, turning his attention towards Dean. “I met Dean a long time ago.”

“You were the older boy there,” said Dean quietly, still looking incredulously at the black haired man. “How are you not dead?”

“You really have a hard time remembering those couple of days huh? You were only a little squirt then I suppose,” said Cas, looking over at you and Sam. “My dad used to be your dad’s partner. Only difference was I was old enough to remember getting taken. Dean’s a little fuzzy on the details but I’d expect that.”

For some reason Dean got all kinds of relaxed and stopped trying to find a way out of his chair, perfectly content to sit there now. You went and grabbed a bandage for him to come back and saw the cuff was gone now, Dean avoiding your gaze.

“Can I patch that up?” you asked, the red mark on his wrist bloody in a few spots. He nodded but wouldn’t look, a slight shake to his arm.

“Want to tell these guys what I know Dean? What you remembered when you were taken a few months ago?” asked Cas, Dean holding his hand in his lap when you finished. He was quiet and Cas sighed. “You were more of a fighter as a two year old, come on man.”

“You were an annoying six year old,” said Dean, glancing up at Cas. He found Sam’s gaze before yours, upset with himself some about trying to force you to stay away. “I don’t want Y/N to-”

“This girl has spent so many hours trying to find you, Dean. She gets to know the truth too,” said Cas. Dean looked ready to argue before the fight went out of him and he slumped into his chair.

“There was another boy, older than me. He had a weird name,” said Dean. “Redge.”

“Before you go feeling soft for him, Redge is this nutjob’s son. When he found out Dean of all people was the reason you broke it off with Redge-”

“I broke up with Redge and his psychopath dad does all that to Dean as revenge? Redge plants evidence to incriminate Dean? What are we in, a horror movie?” you asked, throwing up your hands.

“Pretty much,” said Cas with a shrug.

“I need a drink,” you said, heading over for the kitchen, finding a bottle of old bourbon in a cupboard, taking a long sip.

“I knew she’d think this is her fault, I didn’t want to tell her for this exact reason,” said Dean, following Cas into the kitchen, Sam on his tail and stealing the bottle from you and putting it up high where you couldn’t reach.

“It explains how Dean’s DNA got all over crime scenes he never visited, why he was forced to keep a journal, it explains a lot really,” said Sam, sitting up on the counter, keeping an eye on Dean who looked on the verge of bolting. “Hey, I asked you check and you didn’t say anything.”

“What difference does it make how I’m feeling? I’m used to it by now,” said Dean, rolling his eyes. “None of this makes any difference. I’m still royally screwed and he’s still out there and it sounds like Redge is in on it. I can’t do anything so the reunion was great and everything but leave me alone for all our benefits.”

Dean stood up to head for the door but Cas caught him by the hood and shoved him into a seat at the kitchen table.

“Dude, back off or-”

“I’m working a case and until I have solved it and got my guy, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you, all of you will,” said Cas, letting Dean go, pushing on his shoulder when he went to stand. “I wouldn’t let this slide even if it was as simple as a little revenge case but it’s not and we both know it.”

“It’s not?” the three of you asked, Cas running a hand through his hair.

“Oh my god, did you never once look at the files our dads were working on around that time? Investigating a serial killer? Never?” asked Cas. Dean looked like a deer in the headlights, staring up at Cas towering over him. “You’re lucky he likes you better as a pet than a victim or you’d have been killed a long time ago.”

“Cas, go take a walk,” you said, Sam standing to go with him as he saw you were getting ready to make Cas a victim himself. When they were both outside Dean had dropped the hardness and had that sad look on his face again, the one when you drove him away from that basement and to the hospital. “Dean?”

“Cas is right. I am lucky,” said Dean. “Everybody else he kills but I pissed off his son so lucky me got to stick around.”

“You never told me what he did to you,” you said, walking to stand by his side, taking his hand in yours. “You only ever said you got in trouble.”

“I’ll tell you someday, I promise but right now can we not fight? I really don’t want to fight anymore,” he said, voicing barely cracking at the end. You sat next to him and wrapped him into a hug, Dean welcoming it as you wondered when the last time he had any sort of touch at all in his life. “Why didn’t you give up on me?”

“You don’t give up on people you care about,” you said, running a hand over his head. “I always wanted to repay you but I never thought it’d be like this.”

“I would have done with a pie,” said Dean, a tiny chuckle from him doing wonders for your own nerves.

“We’ll figure out some place safe for you while Cas investigates. A place like this maybe where you won’t have to run or worry about getting caught by the cops or our guy,” you said.

“That sounds much better than that tent I’ve been staying in,” said Dean. “Anything sounds much better now.”

“You tried to not let me help. Over and over again,” you said, Dean resting his head in the crook of your neck.

“I know. I barely let you take care of me when I had that cold. This was too much to put on you,” said Dean.

“Me showing up at your door with a duffel bag and begging you to let me crash with you for the night, promising I’d be gone in the morning felt like too much. It always felt like too much when you made me breakfast or brought home surprises for me or complimented me or did a thousand other things. One day I realized I’d never convince you of that. It was so much easier when I let it all go. You’ll let it all go too Dean. You’ll get there,” you said.

He shrugged and took a deep breath. He almost started to relax before he pulled his head up and looked back at the door. You wondered if he wanted Sam when he bolted up and ran for it.

“Dean! What the-” you got out before he stopped and looked at you, rushing back over and taking hold of your hand.

“Don’t leave my side,” said Dean, pulling you along after him and out the door. He glanced around the small clearing before there was nothing but woods and the small dirt path that would eventually lead to the road.

“What’s-” you said before he threw a hand over your mouth, spinning the two of you around, spotting Jimmy’s car and rushing over. He flung open the door and shoved you in over to the passenger side before he started to rip open the dash with his bare hands.

You watched him wide eyed as he pulled on some wires, face smashed against the steering wheel until he got a spark and the engine came on, tugging you back into the driver’s side.

“Get out of here. Get out of town, just get as far away as you can and hide,” said Dean, panting as he pulled your seatbelt on.

“Dean, I don’t-”

“I remember and Cas...Cas was a nice kid. He took care of me. But I don’t remember him ever leaving with me,” said Dean, shaking his head. “Sometimes I swore I heard another set of boots wandering around in that shed too.”

“Dean, Cas has helped us, stood up for you, he’s-”

“Y/N,” you heard Cas say, both your and Dean’s head’s whipping to the front of the car where he was walking around. “Where are you going? We need to figure out a plan.”

“Stay the hell away from her,” said Dean, standing up and slamming your door shut. You weren’t in the car for more than a few more seconds before the lights flickered and went out.

“I always have problems with that freaking battery,” said Cas, rubbing a hand over his face. You climbed out and Dean stood in front of you, Cas cocking his head. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

“I know who you are you son of a-”

“I am trying to help you, Dean. Is he having some kind of meltdown?” asked Cas to you. Dean had been overreactive since the moment you saw him, not thinking clearly and assuming the worst scenario would happen every single time. Cas had been calm and collected apart from his small outburst at Dean.

“Where’s Sam?” you asked. Cas practically growled and you took another step behind Dean.

“I have no issue with Y/N,” said Cas. “Hell, she knows what a dick Redge can be first hand. She can go.”

“Where’s Sam, Cas?” asked Dean. Cas shrugged and held up his hands.

“Like I said, Y/N can go and I highly advise you do and forget all about this before you get dragged in. My issue is only with the Winchesters,” said Cas.

“Go,” said Dean, pushing you backwards with one hand. “Now.”

You didn’t argue it and went off down the path, Dean glancing over his shoulder to give you the smallest of smiles, a quiet thank you. You went down the road until you were out of view, going a little further before ducking into the woods and carefully making your way back to the house, Cas now holding a gun in his hands as Dean sat on the hood of the car, his hands cuffed behind his back.

You figured you had a couple options. Sneak up on Cas and get his gun to save Dean. Stay hidden and hope Cas brought Dean to wherever Sam was and sneak them both out later. Or call for backup from your completely un-trustable department and hope whoever showed up didn’t make you another victim.

You didn’t have enough time to think of your fourth one before a hand shot out over your mouth and a cold muzzle pressed against the back of your neck.

“Don’t move.”

The hand around you made you backup slowly, going with them even if you knew it was likely to certain death. You walked with them for a while before they spun you around and led you forward, walking on and on until you were well out of shouting distance of Dean.

“Hands behind your back,” he said, your body only doing so when he pressed the gun harder against your skin. You quickly felt a pair of department issue zipties around your wrists, his hand pushing you down to the ground. You expected a bullet but the gun moved away and he walked in front of you, staring you down. “What the hell are you involved in, Y/N?”

“Redge, if you’re going to kill me just do it,” you said, his gun staying by his side a good sign you told yourself. “If you’re not going to do that then what-”

“Saving your ass. Cas plays games. Letting the girl go is one of his favorites. Two months from now when Dean hasn’t broken yet, he’ll pull you out of whatever hole your in and kill you in front of him, then threaten the same with Sam if he doesn’t get with the program. I don’t know where Cas put him. You’ll thank me when you’re still alive,” said Redge, fiddling around in his backpack, grabbing you by the arm and walking again.

“Redge what the fuck are you-” you got out before he slapped a hand over your mouth, a piece of duct tape over it.

“Shut up until I can explain,” he said, dragging you along until you came to the edge of the road, Redge shoving you in the backseat of his car and driving away, back towards town. You kicked his seat and he growled, getting louder when you didn’t stop. Eventually he pulled into his garage of your old home, shutting the door and taking you out, pushing you down on the couch as he made sure all the blinds were shut. When he ripped the duct tape off fast you nearly bit his hand off but his hands in tight fists made you think twice.

“Explain before I kick your ass for kidnapping a cop,” you said, Redge’s eyes rolling hard. He sat down on the ottoman and leered at you, cocking his head. “What?”

“If you had just stayed with me, none of his would have happened. Sam and Dean would be fine. You’d be fine. It would be okay, you know that?” he asked.

“You used to hurt me and that wasn’t okay, Redge,” you spat out. “Stop talking out of your ass and pretend for two seconds you’re not a piece of crap and maybe I’ll not ruin your life for stopping me from saving my guys.”

“You can’t save them. It’s too late. Grab your stuff and go,” said Redge. “Cas’ll give up trying to catch you pretty fast. He knows you won’t say anything.”

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s only…oh, I don’t know a complete and total liar,” you said, your shoulders starting to ache. “Would you cut me loose? You’re not exactly screaming trustworthy right now.”

“You’re the one being investigated by internal affairs, Y/N. For all I know, you’re another one of dad’s star students,” said Redge. You cocked your head and Redge took a deep breath. “Six months of your record is missing when you were twenty. Why?”

“I was in school which you’d know if you ever listened to me. I did study abroad but you wouldn’t know anything about that considering you tuned out everything I said unless it was yes sir,” you said, Redge looking you over. “What do you mean students?”

“I’m a saint compared to dad. He really just…gets the urge to kill people and does it I guess. I never saw it but I mean, he slipped it into asking about how school was and all that,” said Redge.

“You never told anyone anything? Never another adult or-”

“One day, when I was five, I came home and there were these two boys in the basement. Dad told me to play with them, take care of them, keep them under control. He said I’d get a big reward if I did. It wasn’t hard with the little boy, Dean, but the older one was bigger than me and he shoved me around so I shoved back. I thought we were playing like at recess or something. That’s all I did was play with them. After a couple days, the little boy went away but that other one…he didn’t. I got a new brother I was told,” said Redge.

“Cas,” you said, Redge nodding his head. “Oh, why didn’t you say something Redge?”

“Because I’m not a good guy. You know that,” said Redge, looking you up and down, all too aware that you were still restrained. “The more Cas gave in, the more I liked it until a couple months later and we were in a new town and Jimmy was my older brother at school. The longer he stayed with us, the more he got to be like dad until eventually Jimmy was the one going into the family business. Sometimes I wish dad hadn’t kept him. It sounds bad but Jimmy, Cas I guess…he’s ruthless and cunning. Dad was always happy with the quick and dirty but Jimmy likes the slow burn,” said Redge, his face dropping as he thought of something.

“Redge, work with me. It doesn’t sound like you guys are on the best terms,” you said, Redge laughing at you and crossing his arms.

“He’s worse than me, worse than dad, but that don’t make me the golden boy,” said Redge. “Cas has his toys to play with. I only ever wanted you back and here you are. You can be safe here from him, safe from dad too. I’ll be better this time.”

“Are you asking me to stay or telling me I am,” you said, Redge’s gaze on the floor in front of him. His hesitancy made you braver and you tapped his leg with your foot. “Redge.”

He stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a knife as you swallowed hard. He put on a hand on your arm and spun you around, cutting through the zip tie and picking up the pieces, tossing them in the trash on the way back to the kitchen. He pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to you, taking a seat back down.

“You were my first long term girlfriend. The first time I ever lived with someone else. That control was something I lived with for years, it’s what I thought love was and how to get respect and all that. As much as I want you back, I know I’m not good. Dean’s always been the guy for you and I took you because he was too shy at first, even if I knew he wanted you. You’re not mine but you got to stay away from Cas. He’s going to call my dad and they’re going to go to town on him, Y/N,” said Redge. “Sam too. You just got to move on.”

“I’m being investigated because of my relationship with Dean, right? They think I potentially knew he committed those crimes or set all this up?” you asked, Redge nodding his head. “Go with me to the station and vouch for me. Tell them all that. Tell them the truth and help me save them. Sam is a civilian, Dean is another cop and you’ve got some penance to serve, Redge,” you said.

“It’s my family. My literal psycho murdering family,” he said. “I go against them-”

“Your family is hurting my family. Family has your back and all that but yours is built on fear and pain, not love. That’s not a real family. Your family would hurt you for trying to stop them. Dean and Sam, I’m sure I’ll get an earful from them but I’ll get a crap ton of hugs too. Give me a shot, please,” you said, Redge sighing heavily.

“Y/N, odds are we’ll never find them,” said Redge, a tiny smile on your face. “But we could try.”

Two Months Later

Redge hadn’t checked in with the station in a few days and the looks you were starting to get made you nervous. Sam had vanished but Cas…Cas showed up for work the next day a few months back like nothing more had gone on that night than having an easy dinner and watching some TV. Redge stayed quiet when he saw Cas back, never saying a word to anyone about all he’d told you. You didn’t know who or what to believe anymore. The investigation on you was proving nothing you figured but you knew they believed you were the one who took Sam and was involved with all the rest.

“Hey,” said Cas, knocking on your desk as you looked into the old files on Redge’s dad. “You’re riding with me today.”

“Shocking,” you said, grabbing your winter coat, hoping wherever the boys were they weren’t freezing to death. You’d kept your distance from Cas since that night, occasionally trying to track him but Cas always one step ahead of you, no thanks to help from Redge you guessed.

“Coffee run?” Cas asked when you climbed in the passenger side of his cruiser, shaking your head. “This doesn’t have to be as bad as you make it out to be. I’ll buy.”

“A cup of coffee? Well I guess we can be besties forever now, huh,” you said, Cas pulling out of the lot for your four hour patrol around town.

“I let you go. Someone in my line of work doesn’t really do that,” said Cas, looking over at you. “You’re a good cop. Once the investigation clears up, maybe you’ll think about moving on to a bigger town, work some bigger cases than the run of the mill crap we do all day.”

“Do you have a point at all? Otherwise you can shut it for the rest of today,” you said, crossing your arms, wishing you’d get a call to give you something else to think about.

“Playing nice with me makes life easier for them,” said Cas. “Perk up. You’re prettier when you smile.”

“Whatever you say boss.”

Three Days Later

You were at a motel room in a random town that only took cash. You used a rented car to take to “borrow” another one, promising yourself you’d return it to the owner before they got back from their vacation. You left your phone behind and your computer, no credit cards, anything Cas could use to figure out where you were. When it was almost two thirty in the morning, you slipped out of your room and walked down a few blocks, hood up as you scanned the alleys for the one you were looking for.

Right on the dot, you saw a man leaning against the brick wall of one, his head curling towards yours when he must have noticed your gazing. He gave a tiny nod you returned and he waved you down.

“You’re less intimidating than I expected,” said the playful voice, standing up straight, his height rivaling Sam’s almost.

“Nick,” you said, pulling your hood down, the man doing the same. He was a bit older than Cas, around ten years maybe but even in the dim alley, you could see the familiarity. “I know where your baby brother is.”

“See, you kept saying that on the phone but Cas is dead. I haven’t seen him since he went to go play in the yard. It’s been over thirty years, kid. If you found his body, that’s great but I made my peace with what happened a long-”

“Look,” you said, shoving a hand into your pocket and pulling out the picture of Cas in uniform, Nick’s face going blank. “He’s alive.”

“He’s okay. Little guy became a cop,” said Nick, not exactly a smile on his face but as close as you were going to get for a harsh guy like him. “Why didn’t he…what…why did you find me, have us meet like this?”

“You’re a criminal and I’m so far in this thing I’ll work with bad guys to stop even worse ones,” you said. Nick handed the picture back before you shook your head that he could have it.

“You’re a cop,” he said. “Internal affairs, some law and order crap like that?”

“Your brother took two people very important to me. I will explain everything I can to you but I’ll be upfront about this. You’re not getting the happy ending with your brother you want. It’s not going to happen,” you said, Nick looking over your head.

“Inside,” he said, pushing open a back door to the bar you were outside of. “You look like you need a drink.”

Nick quietly sipped on his beer as you told him everything you knew. When you’d finished, you didn’t get any denial or shock or any of the other reactions you were expecting. Just a small chuckle that made you wonder if you’d only added one more crazy person in all this.

“To think I was the bad son,” said Nick. “Dad and his stupid pride, wouldn’t do something bad to save his own kid.”

“I read through the old files of Chuck’s, the ones in the storage shed in Toledo,” you said, Nick’s head popping up. “I’ve broken a few laws trying to get my boys back, I’m not a saint either. But your dad tried to get Cas back. It was one or the other and Dean was younger so-”

“So Cas got the shaft. Wow, way to go dad,” said Nick, standing and grabbing a bottle of some hard liquor, pouring it straight into his empty glass, enough to knock out a horse if he finished it all.

“He tried after that and that’s why he got killed. This guy Chuck and John Winchester were investigating is bad news. Ruthless and he made Cas just like him,” you said, Nick seeming unfazed.

“This is my problem how?” he asked, taking a long drag, scrunching his face up at the burn of it. “You’re the cop, that’s your job to fix crap like this.”

“You were supposed to watch him and you let your kid brother go play outside by himself when you were told to not let him out of your sight. How’s that for your problem?” you spat back, Nick’s face going cold, downright scary.

“You sure you aren’t the bad one? You sure know how to rip open old wounds,” he said, taking another swallow.

“This was a waste of time,” you said, standing up, heading for the back door until Nick’s hand caught your arm.

“You said this guy Redge, that you breaking up with him is what started all of this, right?” asked Nick. You felt his hand get loose and you moved it away, looking down at Nick in the booth.

“It got Dean involved and it made Redge’s dad go after him again and it brought all of this up so yeah, it’s pretty much all my fault,” you said.

“If I’d watched Cas like I was supposed to, Cas wouldn’t have gone that route and maybe that Redge guy would have turned out different and maybe a lot of things would be different so if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” he said.

“You don’t know that,” you said.

“You don’t know that you and Redge had anything to do with Dean. They all knew each other before you came along. This could have been in the making long before you showed up,” said Nick.

“If you say you’re going to help, are you going to turn around the next day and pretend that didn’t happen? I’m running out of people to turn to, Nick,” you said.

“I think I should have a talk with my brother. On one condition,” he said, your head dropping.

“I can’t promise any clearing of your record or any of that. I’m on the outs. I can’t even promise you’ll live through this,” you said.

“One condition,” said Nick, standing up. “We’re going to need backup and I know the guys for the job.”

“Nick, this-”

“Kid, I wasn’t asking. You want to find Dean and Sam? Trust me.”

On Monday morning the chief called you into his office to tell you Cas was your new partner, Redge back at work as you figured he didn’t turn up anything concrete, not that he was ever really investigating you. You were stopped at the diner for lunch with Cas a few days later, silently eating together when Cas kicked you under the table.

“What?” you asked, mouth full of salad, Cas giving you a hard glare. “Don’t tell me the place is getting robbed,” you said, spinning in your seat to see nothing going on.

“What is that?” he asked, pointing outside at a man outside playing on his phone.

“A guy on his phone?” you asked, not sure what was going on with him. Cas studied your face and relaxed. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re not arguing with me as much lately. I was suspicious,” said Cas.

“Well you said it yourself. I’m free and alive. I need to start looking out for myself,” you said, Cas raising an eyebrow. “I’m smart enough to admit defeat. I need to move on, get out of this town and forget this all ever happened right? Let you have your…extra curricular activities.”

“You’re giving up just like that,” said Cas. You shrugged, playing around with your fork.

“I never even went on a date with the guy. I’m loyal but I’m not a dumbass,” you said. “Maybe I’ll go somewhere warmer, where it doesn’t snow in the winter.”

“Oh you’re cruel. You ever want a date, give me a call,” said Cas with a wink.

“I do have a slight favor to ask,” you said, Cas’ smile falling away. “A letter of recommendation would help with a transfer considering everything I went through. I’m not sure they’ll take me with that on my record if I don’t have someone to-”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” said Cas, easing up again. “I’ll make you sound good and all that.”

“Thanks,” you said, Cas going back to his sandwich until you were climbing in the cruiser, back on your patrol for the second half of your shift.

“You’re really giving up on them. They’ve been so adamant that you’d stay away and do what asked. I guess you’re finally getting with the program huh?” asked Cas.

“I have one other favor to ask,” you said, turning to Cas. “You and your family stay away from me, they don’t come after me. I don’t want to look over my shoulder the rest of my life.”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” said Cas. “You’ve kept your mouth shut and been good. You’ll keep it shut too. No one will bother you.”

“Alright then,” you said, holding out a hand, Cas shaking it with an amused look on his face. “I’ll start looking for new positions tonight.”

It was nearly three in the morning when you got a call on your burner phone from Nick.

“Did Gabe get it?” you asked.

“Oh, he got more than that alright,” said Nick. “Somebody wants to say hi.”

“Hey Y/N,” a tired Sam said on the other end. “You working with a bunch of convicts now?”

“Well I sit next to a serial killer at work. Thievery isn’t so bad compared to that,” you said, hearing a tiny laugh from Sam. He sounded in good spirits but you could only imagine how wrecked he was. “Are you okay?”

“Oh it’s like Christmas morning,” he said with a chuckle. “It’s not Christmas is it?”

“Not for a few more weeks,” you said, sitting up with a big smile on your face. “We got to go pick out a tree.”

“Yeah, we’ll get right on that,” said Sam. “You got Dean back yet?”

“No, we agreed getting at least one of you out was worth the risk,” you said, standing and heading over to your closet to get dressed.

“I haven’t seen him since I saw you last. I don’t know where-”

“It’s okay Sammy. Nick’s brothers are going to stay with you and make sure you get to a hospital and get better,” you said, pulling out some clothes and tossing them on fast.

“I’m honestly okay. Cas never did anything so I assumed Dean’s been playing along. What are you going to do?” asked Sam.

“I’m going to Cas’ house. He’s going to want a new way of keeping Dean in line,” you said.

“Y/N, you can’t-”

“Nick, you know where to meet me. Let’s go have a chat with your little brother.”

“Nick, you ready?” you asked, stepping out of the car parked around the bend, just out of view from Cas’ house. Nick looked down the dirt path, giving you a nod. “Want to give me a heads up of what you’re planning on saying?”

“I’ll let you know when I figure that out myself,” he said, taking a step forward. “You sure you want to come with me?”

“You need the backup,” you said, pulling out your gun. Nick just nodded and went around to the front door as you went to the back. He knocked like he was dropping off a pizza and you took a deep breath. You heard the front door open and slipped in the back, quietly coming through the hall as you saw Cas take a step back and another. Nick landed a punch square to his face and had him restrained fast as you had to fight the urge to rip his head off. “What happened to talking?”

“He kind of deserves it, don’t you think?” asked Nick as you rolled your eyes. Cas grunted as Nick rolled him up, shutting the door as you saw just how off guard he was. “Cas.”

“Nick?” asked Cas, looking his older brother up and down. “Wh-What...”

“What is wrong with you shortie?” asked Nick, Cas’ face softening at the nickname. “What is going on in that head of yours?”

“Whatever she told you, it’s a lie, it’s all-”

“Cut the crap,” said Nick, Cas dropping his head down to the floor. “You got taller.”

“So did you,” said Cas quietly, turning his attention to you, the softness falling away. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What you just put on my family?”

“Sorry but your dad and Redge aren’t exactly-”

“Not those psychos. Nick and Gabe and Michael. Do you know what you just dragged them into? What I’ve been keeping them safe from for years?” asked Cas, his eyes shooting daggers but flickering with fear for the first time too. “They’re going to go after them finally. After everything I put up with, it’s gone because of you.”

Nick scrunched up his face and raised an eyebrow, probably thinking Cas was nuts.

“Cas,” you said, holding your gun in your hands. “We found Sam. He didn’t exactly sound like someone who’s had a rough go of it lately.”

“Sam played the part he needed to. Dean’s been doing his part too I suppose. I may have exaggerated things a bit,” said Cas, glancing down.

“Exaggerated how?” you asked, your eyes going wide when you saw the chief come in through the front door.

“Stand down officer Y/L/N,” said the chief, your gaze going to Nick who looked like he would try to take him on if you asked. “Stand down.”

“Crowley, I don’t exactly trust-”

“Cas you’re authorized to disclose your case,” said Crowley, Cas breathing a sigh of relief.

“Not like she was only about two seconds away from shooting me, asshole,” said Cas, giving Crowley a hard look before softening his gaze towards you and Nick. “I’m very deep undercover. Very, very, very deep undercover.”

“It all makes perfect sense now!” you said, squinting at him, Crowley rolling his eyes. “You want to explain, get going.”

“The easy version? I got taken as a kid and raised by a not so nice guy and Redge. I figured out how to play along, gain their trust. By the time I was old enough, got more freedom, it was just Nick and my brothers left and there was always this unspoken threat in the air that I couldn’t go back to them. I stayed away and became a cop, try to figure out a way to bring him down and Redge. I was approached at the academy about undercover work. They knew who I really was and who my fake dad was and that I could go under and gather evidence against a guy they’d been tracking for twenty years but couldn’t prove a damn thing about,” said Cas. “I couldn’t hop on board that train fast enough.”

“Wait so you never…” you asked, Cas shaking his head.

“Redge did. I was always going to be his fall guy if it ever came to it so I was told to keep my mouth shut. I’ve made it harder over the years but when you got with Redge and then you two stopped, those two wanted to rip Dean apart. I convinced them to go a different route, screw with you both in a less violent way. It worked and they started to get sloppy for the first time. They actually believed that I’d finally come around to their way of thinking. The evidence we have now though is huge and more than enough to put them both away,” said Cas.

“Awesome, then what’s with the continued charade?” asked Nick, cocking his head.

“We don’t know where Dean is,” said Crowley. You looked at Cas who shook his head.

“Redge called my dad after he found you in the woods,” said Cas, Nick giving him a glare. “Fake dad. Cut me a little slack, I’ve been dealing with this stuff since I was six.”

“Keep going,” you said, throwing Nick a glance to cool it.

“Fake dad showed up and took Dean, not too long after I had a chance to explain myself to him. I don’t know if Dean every truly believed me but I told him I’d keep you and Sam safe until I could get him too,” said Cas. “We just need to find him.”

“Would Redge know?” you asked, looking at the chief who was shaking his head. “I’ll go be bait if I have to. We’re getting Dean back if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

“The guy’s been around the Montana area, sticking to a fifty mile area. Dean’s likely somewhere in there,” said Crowley. “It’s too big of a search area though.”

“When Redge took those few days off earlier in the week, where’d he go?” you asked.

“Montana,” said Crowley. “You think he went to go pay Dean a visit?”

“Check his phone records and we’ll find out.”

The property you were searching was huge and the local police department was even smaller than your own, just four of you out there trying to search 100 acres while you knew your guy was the next town over.

“Y/L/N, sun’s going down and snow’s heading in. We need to call it a night,” said another officer over the radio.

“I’ve got a flashlight and gloves. I’m good,” you said, flicking your light on and continuing your search.

“One more hour, then we need to head in,” said the officer. You clicked off your radio and continued your search, finding a big farmhouse that was a nice break from the cold wind on your face, your cheeks and nose hurting from the icy air. You kicked around the straw on the floor, finding only solid dirt beneath it, taking a short breather behind a bale of hay. It was warmer there and you took a deep breath, glancing around to see a pipe sweating nearby. You hopped up, nothing at all seeming to require heat in the open barn unless of course there was someone living under it. You started kicking the straw again, spending most of your hour picking through every inch of the space.

You yelled when you found nothing, kicking at a bale of hay. You huffed and figure you’d start looking around outside when you spun back around.

“Wait,” you said to yourself, looking around the whole barn, noticing there was only the one bale in the whole place. You bent down and shoved with your shoulder, digging into the ground to get it to budge a little before it slid away. The small cellar door made you smile as you flung it open and hopped down, shooting at a locked door and opening it to find a tiny room warm.

The man on the cot rolled over and wiped at his eyes, yawning as he did so. He blinked the green orbs awake, sitting up fast when he saw you.

“We got to stop meeting like this,” you said, Dean leaning back against the wall in relief. “You’re not going to go all Rambo on me again, are you?”

“You look really cute with a pink nose,” said Dean, waving you over. You bent down to try and cut through his tether again but this one was made of steel cable and you didn’t exactly bring bolt cutters with you. “Try my foot.”

“I’m not cutting your foot off,” you said, Dean rolling his eyes. He put his foot up on the cot and pulled up his pant leg to show the metal cuff on it.

“I meant try picking the lock,” said Dean. “Unless you found the keys.”

“Yeah, right outside the door, didn’t you know?” you joked, the sound of the cellar door slamming shut making your smile fall.

“Tell me that was the wind,” said Dean. You took off back the way you came, going through the door and up the few steps before you pushed on the door. It didn’t budge much and you knew it wasn’t that heavy. You pushed again and again, dropping down and hoping when Dean was free he might have better luck.

“I think it’s just stuck,” you said.

“I don’t think we’re that lucky,” said Dean. “Do you have anything to eat in your bag?”

“Yeah,” you said, slipping it off and digging through to find a few protein bars, Dean barely getting the wrapper off before devouring one. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” he said, halfway through another before he forced himself to stop. “We should save these.”

“It was just the wind Dean. A big storm is coming through,” you said, riffling around in your bag for something to try and get him loose. You took off your hat and shoved it on his head, throwing your scarf on him too.

“How cold out is it exactly? This is Kansas not-”

“We’re not in Kansas anymore,” you said, Dean giving you a bitch face. “Well we’re not, Todo.”

“Awesome,” said Dean as you ran a hand over your head, finding a bobby pin in there. You pulled it out and twisted it, shoving it in the lock and a few moments later, watching it release Dean’s leg.

He sighed when it fell off and he removed the rag he’d shoved there to cushion it, stretching it out as you twisted your bobby pin back in place.

“Let’s work on that door,” said Dean. He stood up with your help but he seemed healthy for the most part and definitely happier than when you’d rescued him the first time. You both had to shove hard but the door flung open eventually, a big gust of wind blowing through the open space that had Dean ducking back down. You gave him your bag with some boots and gloves, Dean throwing his hood up but still cold in his thin hoodie and a pair of jeans.

“Let’s get you home Dean.”

“Alright,” you said, throwing a blanket over Sam on the couch the next day, Dean already bundled up in his own as they both gave you shy smiles. “You’re both fed, Dean got cleared by the hospital, you’re in your warmest pajamas and tucked in. What else do you guys need?”

“You to sit down and take a break, sweetheart,” said Dean, patting the spot between him and Sam. You gladly sat, feeling them share their blankets with you as a holiday movie played quietly on TV in the background.

“Longest year ever,” you said, both of them laughing a little. The doorbell rang and you hopped up, knowing the department wanted to give you all a proper apology but that it could wait for the morning.

“Hi,” said Cas when you opened it, holding a box under his arm, looking down. “Can I come in?”

“Can you look at me?” you asked, Cas slow to lift his head. “You ever hear of a little thing the Winchesters have called ‘Check’?”

He shook his head and you smiled.

“You will,” you said, opening the door for him, his face red from the cold. “Guys, you mind if you have a quick visitor?”

“Cas, our guardian angel,” joked Dean, Cas looking away nervously.

“Dude, relax. You’ve risked a lot to keep us safe,” said Sam. “We’re good with you.”

“Y/N is in need of an apology,” said Dean, not too happy with the way he spoke to you, even if it was to keep up appearances with Redge. “Later though. What’d you bring us?”

“It’s from my brothers and me,” said Cas, putting the box down between them. “For helping bring us together again.”

Sam and Dean shrugged and opened the box up, both of them reaching inside and holding up a leather jacket.

“I guess your dad gave it to our’s once and it got tucked away in storage. It has sentimental value Nick said. John gave it to him as a way of saying our families always have each other’s backs or something like that,” said Cas, rubbing the back of his head.

“You guys want to hang out this weekend?” asked Dean, Sam giving Cas a smile. “Our dad’s were best friends. I think it’s about time the kids were too.”

“Is that okay, Y/N?” asked Cas, the boys looking back over the couch at you. “You’re the one that’s seen everyone go all…”

“I think a big family dinner would be nice,” you said.

A few days later you were sitting on the couch with Dean slouching into your side, talking to Nick and Michael about which Zeppelin album was better, Sam and Gabe and Cas trying to figure out who had the worst pick up line. You didn’t realize you’d fallen asleep until Dean was carrying you upstairs, the guys telling you goodnight as they threw on their coats.

“Didn’t mean to ruin the party,” you said, Dean pausing outside your room before going down to his and putting you on the mattress there.

“It’s your turn to get some overdue rest, Y/N,” said Dean, shutting the door and kicking off his pants, climbing into bed beside you.

“You don’t have to go to bed if you don’t want,” you said, Dean chuckling to himself.

“We’ll see the guys tomorrow. It’s getting late anyways,” said Dean, pulling you in close. “You’re so warm. I’ve wanted to do this forever.”

“Me too,” you said. “You know Nick and Gabe and Michael…they’ve got records,” you said.

“Used to have records. They’ve been expunged thanks to helping catch two serial killers. With Cas back and a family of cops around, I’m pretty sure they’ll get on the straight and narrow soon,” said Dean. “Wouldn’t want to have to arrest our new friends.”

“How are you feeling? After everything I mean. You’ve spent only a handful of nights in this bed over the past ten months,” you said. Dean hummed and you rolled on your side to face him, running a hand through his hair. “You’re not so bad this time.”

“I kind of distracted myself through most of it,” said Dean. “I don’t think anyone’s ever had as much time as me to come up with the perfect first date.”

“I’d rather just stay home with you on the couch and never let you out of my sight if that’s okay with you,” you said, giving him a tired smile.

“You came up Netflix and a pizza too?” he teased, shifting his head closer.

“Check?” you asked, Dean closing his eyes as he tilted his head and gave you a short kiss.

“Green sweetheart,” said Dean, fluttering his eyes open when he moved back. “How about you?”

“I think I’m okay again too,” you said, snuggling into his chest. “This is the weirdest relationship I’ve ever been in.”

“Considering your last boyfriend was a serial killer, I’m not sure how to take that,” he said, chuckle as you gave him a pout. “I really do have to ask though…why’d you never stop trying to save me?”

“You’re my best friend. Maybe we haven’t gotten into the couple stuff yet but you’re my best friend and I love you and you owe me at least two back massages for everything I’ve done,” you said, Dean giving you a big laugh you felt in your chest before he was kissing you again.

“That can be arranged,” he said, closing his eyes. “Thank you for everything sweetheart.”

“Goodnight Dean.”

"Morning,” you said, turning to curl into Dean, your eyes blinking open when you saw him gone. You hopped out of bed and found him staring at the back door in the kitchen, the sun just coming up. “You okay?” you asked, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

“Yeah,” he said, reaching for your hand to hold in his. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“You’re good,” you said, bumping into his arm. “We can go outside if you want.”

“It’s cold out,” he said.

“You have winter clothes,” you said, Dean nodding to himself like he’d forgotten that. “Do you have anything you want to do today?”

Dean shrugged, just looking outside at the snow covered yard. You bumped him again and he looked down, catching your smile.

“When Sam gets up we’ll head into town and grab breakfast. I got a surprise for you,” you said, Dean tilting his head. “It’s a good surprise.”

It was nearly dinner time by the time you three got back, Dean giving Baby a pat and smile at getting to driver her again.

“I can’t believe you convinced us to go sledding,” said Sam, sipping on his leftover hot chocolate. “In Kansas too. How’d you find that place?”

“A super secret place called google,” you said, Sam grabbing a snowball from the front yard and tossing it at you as he went inside to warm up. Dean was smiling as he stood by Baby, his cheeks red from spending most of the day outside. “You have fun today?”

“Yeah,” said Dean, wrapping you up in his arms and holding on tight. “I needed that.”

“I know. Want to go watch a Christmas movie and warm up?” you asked.

“Die Hard?” he asked. You rolled your eyes but shook your head. “What do you want to do for dinner?”

“Speak of the devil,” you said, spotting Cas pull up in his car, his brothers popping out with a few bags. “The boys brought barbecue.”

“Ribs, brisket, pulled pork, chicken, corn bread, mashed potatoes and a whole bunch of other artery clogging goodies...everything a recovering boy needs,” said Gabe, patting Dean on the back as they got the food inside before the cold got to it.

“We’ll have a quiet day tomorrow if you want. You just looked like you needed some fun today,” you said.

“I did. I still do but with you watching my back I’m going to turn out just fine,” he said, leaning down to give you a kiss. “You know I always had the biggest crush on you, from the second we met actually.”

“I thought you were cute in your little uniform and jeans. I wished you’d been my partner from the start,” you said.

“I’m your partner now,” he said, giving you another fast kiss. “In more than one area of your life.”

“You’re much cuddlier than I remember,” you said. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Well see this cute girl told me if I got scared I should get a hug and she’d make me feel better. She’s pretty smart,” said Dean, still holding on tight.

“You remember that?” you asked, Dean humming. “Do you want to go get some warm food in you?”

“Yeah,” said Dean, not moving an inch. He waited a few more seconds, looking up as the sun was setting and fresh snow was coming down. “Alright, let’s go have family dinner.”

“I think we should do it once a week, get everyone together,” you said, Dean smiling wide. “You like the sound of that?”

“Having a big family of full of misfit cops and lawyers and thieves sounds perfect, sweetheart.”

_______

#spn #supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #cop!dean x reader

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love2write2626 · 2 years

Text

I Wouldn’t Be Complete Without You

Summary: Tom and Reader have known each other since high school. Best friends... never anything more... even though in secret he always wished something happened between them. As Tom became more and more famous he was in need of an Assistant so who better than his best friend? 20 years later Tom is married... but separated from his wife Katie Holmes, Trying to fix his marriage, raise a child, and work is becoming a lot.

Reader has known Tom since high school. Best friends never anything else... which is very hard for her, she’s been in love with him forever. Now, still best friends, hiding her love for him has become harder and harder over the years. She’s not an actress after all. Now, Tom needs her more than ever with everything going on in his life.

Read Chapter 2 HERE

Read Chapter 3 HERE

I Wouldn’t Be Complete Without You One-Shot Masterlist HERE

Here is chapter 1: Hope you Enjoy!!!

Chapter 1

Y/N’s P.O.V

“No! No. No. No” I said into the phone walking down the stairs, juggling folders, and my shoes which I still hadn’t had a chance to put on yet. “Jackson. No. You have been telling me for two weeks now, that the article is almost done.” I sighed “Jackson, listen” I groaned this man is being a pain in the ass and it’s much too early for this shit. I walked into the kitchen and saw Tom getting breakfast ready for him, and Suri. When he saw me, he gave me a bright smile.

“Morning” He said

“No. No. I’m tired of this, Jackson I need to have a rough draft of that article by noon today, or you will lose the right to print it at all.” I listened as he tried to babble some threat back to me “Jackson, the article was supposed to be printed a week after the interview, which was 2 months ago”

“Coffee?” Tom asked, I gave him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you, and grabbed the cup walking around the kitchen

“Jackson, I’m done with your excuses noon today, or I will have the whole interview retracted and we will take it to literally any other magazine” I said and hung up the phone. I threw my phone on the counter and let out a groan

“Wow, He must of made you really mad Y/N” Suri said in an adorable voice and I giggled

“Don’t worry I’m not mad Suri”

“Nope, I’ve known Y/N for over 20 years… she’s not mad, you’ll know when she’s mad” Tom said with a chuckle, I threw a towel at him which he easily dodged and went back to making breakfast

“Ready for school?” I asked her, as I took another sip of my coffee

“Yup, I got to take lots, and lots of notes today there’s a math test on Friday and today is the test review”

“You’ll do great sweetheart” Tom said, he placed some eggs on her plate, and kissed the top of her head.

“Y/N?” she asked

“Yes?” I asked with a smile

“Will, you help me study for my test tonight” she said with a pouty face, that was very difficult to say no to.

“Sweetheart I would love to, but I have something to do tonight…” I looked at Tom and I didn’t miss the confusion that crossed his face before he went back to making breakfast for himself.

“Please, please… just a few minutes… you always help me study”

“Ok, fine… but only for a little while” she gave me a hug

“Thank you, thank you” she jumped up and started to run for the door

“Sweetie sit down, you haven’t finished breakfast”

“Dad I’m going to miss the bus” she said

“I was hoping I could take you to school today” he said

“Dad” she gave him a look, and I couldn’t help but giggle. She is only 8 years old, but she is a sassy girl… can’t even imagine what’s she’s going to be like as a teenager.

“Ok, I surrender go on” he said, she ran over and gave him a hug before running out the door. He turned back to the stove grabbed the pan and put some eggs on his plate. “I would offer you some, but I know how you hate eating breakfast” I rolled my eyes

“Someone is grumpy this morning” I said

“I just don’t like the idea of her riding the bus” he said

“Tom…”

“She’s only 8”

“Tom, she’s going to be ok. I know you have security following that bus”

“What?” he asked

“Tom, when are you going to learn I know all” I said with a smirk “I have access to your email, texts, phone calls, bank accounts… I see who you call, email, text, and pay… hell I know your social security number… could have stolen your identity years ago, and be living alone on an island” he rolled his eyes

“Very funny, you would miss me” he said

“No, you would miss me, you might be the extraordinary, bad ass actor/stunt man… but you wouldn’t be able to function day to day without me”

“Please” he said with a scoff

“Ok, what’s your social security number?” I asked with a smirk, he glared at me “I’ll try one easier what’s your phone number?” I continued to smirk as I took a sip of my coffee

“Ok, fine you win… jeez you are on a rampage this morning”

“Ok, save the dramatics for the screen Mr. Reacher” I said with a smile.

“That’s Jack Reacher” he said

“Ok, Jack Reacher get ready to go to work”

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I am sitting in Tom’s chair staring at my lap top going through email after email, making appointments, and working my way through Tom’s schedule when my phone dinged

Can’t wait to see you tonight.

I smiled when I read the message from David. I’ve been seeing David in secret for a few months now… and when I say secret I mean secret to Tom. I know if I told him I was seeing someone he will go into all protective mode. It always annoys the shit out of me.

“What’s got you smiling?” he asked, I looked up I didn’t even realize they cut

“Oh, this pathetic excuse of an article Jackson sent me” I said giggling

“So what are we doing tonight?”

“Huh?” I asked

“You said you couldn’t help Suri tonight because we had plans, I didn’t realize we did”

“No… I said I had plans”

“You have plans?” he asked

“Yeah, isn’t that strange? I have a life outside of you”

“So what are Your plans?” he asked

“My plans are none of your business” I said, he smirked

“I’ll figure out your plans”

“What?”

“By refusing to tell me, you have given me a challenge… I’ll figure it out”

“You’re an idiot, go back to set” he kissed my cheek

“I’ll figure it out” he said walking off, I bit my lip and gently touched where he kissed me… even though we kissed each other on the cheek very often it always made me want to blush whenever he kissed mine. I walked closer to the set, and watched Tom. He is an incredible actor, and no matter how hard I try I can’t help but fall in love with him over and over again. It might sound strange but I have loved him since I was 17, the moment I locked eyes with him… I was done for

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

20 years ago

I am sitting reading my book for English class, as always I am drawn in by the beautiful literature before me. Shakespeare is my favorite author… so far, I know as I get older I will be exposed to more and more authors that are equally as good… maybe even better.

I am currently sitting outside on the bleachers away from everyone, not one you would call popular. I keep to myself that’s how I like it, since I live in a time where liking to read is known as a loser thing to do, I just accepted that fate and stay away from everyone.

“Excuse me” I looked up and locked eyes with Tom Cruise… he’s one of the popular boys in school. I looked around trying to figure out who he was talking to. This gorgeous man can’t be talking to the weirdo who likes to read, and wears glasses.

“Me?” I asked, and he chuckled

“Yeah, I mean there’s no one else here” he said, and I blushed “Y/N, right?” he asked

“Yeah… um that’s my name” I said hesitantly

“Well, we’re in the same English class, and I forgot to write down the assignment I was hoping you could tell me what it is”

“Oh, sure. One second” I put the book down, and reached for my bag to pull out my binder

“Romeo and Juliet?” he asked “Didn’t we read this one already?” he asked

“Um yeah… but the assignment is to pick one of the Shakespeare plays and write about it, and as clique as it is, this is my favorite… I think I’ve read it 10 times” I said, I blushed and reached for my binder again and he chuckled. Great now he’s going to start making fun of me.

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon Who is already sick and pale with grief That thou her maid art far more fair than she.” I looked at him expecting him to be looking at the book but to my surprise we was looking at me

“You know Romeo and Juliet?” I asked

“Yeah, we already read it” he said with a chuckle

“But you know it by memory” I said, he just smirked

“I may have read it a few times myself”

“You like to read?” I asked

“Why do you seem so shocked?” he asked confused

“Well… I mean… um… I’m just going to let you copy the assignment and not say anything else” I said

“Is it because I’m popular?” I shrugged my shoulders

“Well, yeah”

“Eh, it’s not all its cracked up to be… I’m not really sure how I got wrapped up with them. We really don’t have much in common”

“Well, you dating the cheer captain probably has something to do with it… and the fact you are ridiculously good looking”

“Really?” he said smirking

“Did I say that out loud?” I said, and he just kept smirking “Well, now that I just made a complete fool out of myself, I’m going to leave…” I ripped out the paper in my notebook with the assignment. “Take it, I don’t need it”

“Hey, hey… you don’t have to leave… I’m sorry for embarrassing you. It’s ok, many people tell me I’m good looking”

“Now you’re just being arrogant” I said

“Well, I think you’re very beautiful” he said, and I’m sure my heart stopped “I think your glasses are adorable, and your hair is really pretty” suddenly I got angry, this is got to be a joke. One of the popular guys coming over here to complement me?

“You’re just here to make fun of me aren’t you?” I stood up, to walk away but he grabbed my hand

“I’m not making fun of you” he said, but I couldn’t ignore the feeling running through my body as he held onto my hand “I’m not lying, I’m not an asshole”

“Why?” he laughed

“Why, do I think you’re pretty?”

“Why, are you here talking to me? I’m a nobody”

“Everybody is somebody… social status means nothing… and I like you, you seem really nice. You never give me the chance to talk to you, you always run out of class before I can reach you”

“I don’t understand why you want to get to know me”

“Because you don’t care about me”

“What?”

“You are the only person in the school who doesn’t run to my side and want to talk to me”

“So you’re making it your mission to talk to me?”

“Not a mission… I just want to talk to someone who likes things other than popularity” I looked at him confused “I like school, I love reading, history, and drama. I love it all. I want to talk to someone who also like learning things, my favorite thing to do it learn new things” I opened my mouth to speak, when Jessica appeared

“Tom” she said in her annoying voice “Tom, why are you here, you’re supposed to walk me to practice” she said

“I was just talking to Y/N… we were talking about Romeo and Juliet” she looked at me with disgust

“You sit with my boyfriend for 2 minutes, and you already infected him with your nerdiness” she said with disgust “Tom, let’s go before she turns you into a complete nerd” she said giggling

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that”

“What?” she asked him

“You can’t talk to her like that”

“Why not? She’s a loser”

“No, she’s a person like everyone else… and no one deserves to be spoken to like that”

“Tom, let’s go”

“No, I’m going to stay here and talk to my friend, you can take yourself to cheer practice”

“Tom, if you don’t walk me to cheer practice then we are done” she said

“Ok, fine” he said standing up, I sighed he was doing so well then she threatened him with a break up and he followed her. I watched as she leaned in to kiss him, but he stepped back. “Ok, fine I’m breaking up with you.”

“You’re breaking up with me, because of this loser?” she asked

“No, I’m breaking up with you, because I’m tired of you being so controlling, being a bitch to everyone… oh, you having sex with the quarter back in the locker room”

“That only happened one time” she said, wow she wasn’t even going to deny it

“I know for a fact it happened 4 times” she looked shocked “So, goodbye” he said

“You’re going to regret this Tom, no one breaks up with me” she stormed off, and he walked back over to me and sat down.

“Are you ok?” I asked

“Yeah, I honestly feel free” he said with a smile

“So, what do you say… you wanna be my friend? I know for a fact she’s going to turn the whole school against me… I need someone on my side” he said with a chuckle. I smiled

“Sure”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I looked at myself in the mirror, putting the finishing touches on my makeup getting ready for my date.

“So I guess you going to the spa is not your plans for the night” I jumped

“Tom, you can’t just walk in here” I said

“It’s my house” he said

“Yeah, but this is my room. Which I pay you rent for” he rolled his eyes

“Please, that money you give me every month goes into your next paycheck… I would never let you pay me to live here” I groaned

“What, do you want?”

“Where are you going?” he asked, I pushed past him and went downstairs to get my purse

“Tom, you don’t need to know everything I do” I said as he followed behind me

“I don’t need to know, but as your best friend I want to know” I sighed he is never going to give this up

“I’m going on a date” he gave me a blank stare, after a few seconds he finally said “anyone I know?”

“No.”

“How, did you meet?”

“Through a friend” I said

“What’s his name?”

“David”

“David…”

“You don’t get his last name, because I know you’re going to do a back ground check and tell me all the reasons I can’t date him” he looked shocked

“No, I…”

“Tom, you’ve done that for every guy I have ever dated. Trust me, we’ve been seeing each other for a few months… he’s a nice guy” I said with a smile

“I just worry about you, You and Suri are the most important people in my life. If anything happened to you…”

“Tom, I’m going to be fine… now go help Suri study. I’ll see you later” I said walking out the door.

“Wait” I turned around

“He’s um… he’s a lucky guy, you look beautiful” he said. I walked over and kissed his cheek

“Thank you for not being over bearing about this” I said

“Go have fun” he said with a fake smile. as I reached the door, I heard “Just be careful, and be sure he treats you with the respect you deserve”

“I will” I turned around to look at him, but he was already headed up the stairs. David a really nice guy, and I really like him… but why am I so heart broken? When will I stop loving Tom?

So what did you think?

Next Chapter will talk more about Tom’s upcoming divorce.

@luckyladycreator2 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @blue-aconite @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @peaches-1999 @callsign-blue @dempy @roostersforevergirl @allivingstone01 @harper1666

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fandomfluffandfuck · 2 years

Note

Okay so I’ve read almost every single on of your work and dear god. You have a gift 😭. okay so a lot of your tropes are pretty straight forward on the Steve and Bucky dynamics. But have you ever like thought of the trope of nomad style Steve Rogers and winter solider style Bucky (in my opinion the most intimidating looks they had). But the point is I’m a absolute sucker for a subby sensitive Steve Rogers, but he doesn’t realize it himself until Bucky comes around and it’s the first time like in a fight he could actually lose ya know? Then Bucky comes along and it’s all confusing for his poor head he doesn’t understand what’s happening. He’s a grown man, sporting a beard and 7 feet of muscle and he’s being held by the balls by his best guy. The need to fuck Bucky and be fucked by him.

Aw, I'm glad you've enjoyed my fics!!

And yes yes YES

This Stucky-

They give me HUGE two tops with major sexual tension having to figure out who is actually gonna be the top because they both can't be. Kind of like in the fic-

"Stark Naked: Captain XXX and the Soldier" by thepinupchemist

Anyway, fic rec aside, let me tell you, anon, this has been in my drafts forever because 1. I really really like this idea and have been waiting for an actual idea about it to come to me as opposed to just shouting FUCK YEAH I LOVE THIS PAIRING and that being it and 2. I've been busy with school as I'm sure you're all tired of hearing about by now.

But an idea-!

*warning for gun & metal arm kink

Okay, so, I think these two fucking huge hunks would meet in a modern AU.

A modern-ish AU in which Steve isn't Captain America anymore (Sam is instead) but he's not retired either, he's just nomad.

Steve's technically still an Avenger in that he avenges, but he's not really a part of the team anymore (unless Nat or Sam calls him in for back up, he'll follow them both until the day God lets him finally die). He's rough around the edges. He's nomad. Cruising around on a beat up motorcycle, holding onto the thing with bruised knuckles clutching at the handlebar, an ancient, dusty leather jacket is thrown over his broad, intimidating shoulders so long as it's not too hot outside, leaving him in only a t-shirt old enough that the color has worn out and the seams are coming apart and torn up dark denim jeans. He's got a hairy chest and hairy forearms and beard with hair long enough that curls around his ears.

Steve is just fucking done with all the bullshit that's been thrown at him.

He plays by his own rules now, he takes no shit. I mean, his own rules are still moral and pure-hearted but, his body is no longer sanctioned government property.

He is no one's poster child any longer.

No one owns Steve.

James, aka, The Winter Soldier might be able to own him...

James might be able to own him with just a look and a quirk of that smart mouth or, hell, he could own him with even less than that too because James walks into Steve's life with this cocky swagger.

This swagger that drips off of The Winter Soldier intoxicatingly. His hips move sinfully whenever he walks and his thighs look so thick and strong all the time, making Steve impulsively clench his jaw when looking at James as if he can't stand the man.

Either way, Steve always has to tear his eyes away from James and all that black leather, re-calibrating silver metal, and dark hair. It takes so much effort to focus elsewhere and it is made even worse by the way James smirks at him every time he sees Steve glance his way. (Even if it's in the middle of a battle because he's apparently a fucking reckless daredevil with the most handsome face and he wont hold back from flirting as chaos rains around them.) And James always sees his sneaking stares. He sees fucking everything. He's a goddamn sniper.

James is a sniper that was captured as a young military man, trained under HYDRA's control, and then an escaped prisoner turned contract killer. A ghost story no one saw coming; a story is not unlike Natasha's, so it's no wonder they get along. It's no wonder Natasha thinks he's wonderful and smiles at Steve like a fox when asking him if he's finally ready for a little bit of metal? She's not talking about a lip piercing this time. Not a piercing of any kind, or... at least not any Steve can see *gulp*

Overall though, James is a fucking bastard.

He's cocky, brash, and every other word for confident too. Just as he should be because goddamn. James has cheekbones sharp and high. James has a jaw square and somehow always perfectly rough with stubble. And James has eyes like smoke that fall on Steve and seem to smolder even though he never makes an actual move beyond teasing.

The way he talks circles around Steve with that charming, pink mouth makes Steve feel like a mouse being played with by a cat. He feels like he's under a predators paw, being played with in a good way, for the first time in his life.

Steve fucking loves it, or- no.

He hates it.

He-

He isn't sure how he feels about it to be honest. He knows something about James does something to him. It strikes a cord inside of him all of the time, but especially when James licks his lips while staring in his direction. Especially when he asks if he'd like a sparr sometime, cocksure in his drawl, saying Sam hasn't ever won despite what he claims. Especially when... okay, maybe especially everything about the man.

It -all of him - does something to Steve. Something intense and smoldering and whatever it is, it makes Steve glad he doesn't have to see him every day. It'd be bad for Steve, he's sure of it. Steve doesn't know what would happen to him, but he knows it wouldn't be good for his rational thinking.

And, yeah, Steve doesn't often work with James. These days Natasha's path and even Sam's path are both much different to his own. James, as The Winter Soldier, seems to happily follow Natalia into whatever must be done while he outwardly growls and bickers with Sam but goes to save his hide. (Steve gets the impression that Bucky doesn't actually mind Sam that much though somehow. There's something about them. He knows Sam is having a good time, ripping into the stoic sniper and he suspects Bucky feels the same towards Sam even if he'll never tell.) But...

When Steve does have to work with him with Natasha at their side...

Steve is in hell.

He is in fucking hell waiting for Natasha to come back to their safe house after venturing out, covertly (she'll be the best at not blowing their deep cover), because at least then he will have something to focus on but James. Alone with the other man and unable to draw himself away, not that he could get far in the small safe house.

James who had started the evening by showering then showing back up in the communal living space where Steve had been hanging out, pretending to watch TV, in nothing but grey sweatpants. Steve has a heightened metabolism but he could subsist on the feast of James' thighs alone and that's not even to mention the soft yet still heavy dick print in said grey sweats 🥴. James wasn't just in grey sweats though... he also had forced his huge shoulders and thick chest and big arms and abs into an unbearably tight white t-shirt post shower. A white t-shirt that's gone transparent around his shoulders from the dampness of his long hair, left down to air-dry, only pushed back out of his face, not otherwise styled but still showing off his unreal facial structure.

But. Somehow.

Somehow, that's not even the worst of Steve's torture. No. The worst is everything that followed seeing James stripped down, left bare of any tac gear, exposed and vulnerable yet still so... so impressive. Prowling about the safe house like a panther. Stalking off into the bedroom and returning to living room with two bags of supplies and his rifle. One bag he sets aside for now. The other, he grabs and unzips, pulling out various tools that Steve recognizes as used for firearm cleaning. And that's almost the worst part, over seeing James in such... fantastic clothes.

Firearms are too loud for Steve to comfortably use (a downside to super-hearing) but the effect of seeing James begin to unload, disassemble, wipe down, insert brushes into the barrel, wipe down again, lube, then stroke lube and gun oil into the weapon, well, it's not comfortable for Steve either.

But.

It's the opposite kind of uncomfortable that hearing a gun firing is for Steve. It's not blindingly, painfully loud in the room. Instead, it's silent other than the pounding of Steve's heart in his ears. His pants are too tight, restricting the painful swelling of his thick cock. Still, his eyes can't do anything but chase James' hands- inappropriate as it is. Completely enthralled by watching the sniper handle his weapon where he's propped it up between his spread legs.

He's so... graceful.

He's clearly done this a million times. Systematically taking it apart and cleaning all the parts then putting them right back together. The light shines off of the clean metal of the gun as well as off of his metal fingers. His flesh and blood hand has gun oil dripping down his thick, lengthy fingers. Steve inhales sharply, hoping his blush is at least somewhat contained by his beard.

Again though, that's not even the worst thing to happen that night. Just them. Alone in the safe house. A gun, dangerous and imposing between James legs like Steve can only imagine other... things... of his are.

The worst?

Oh, that's easily watching James set aside his weapon and the corresponding tools to clean and maintain it in favor of reaching for the second bag which holds highly specialized brushes, sprays, and towels that are used for cleaning his metal arm. Witnessing the other man clean his arm is horrible.

His eyebrows set into a serious line, his lower lip gets caught between his teeth, and he keeos quietly grunting as he digs into the grooves and flexes his fingers and forces the metal plates to recalibrate.

Steve whimpers. A noise in all his years he's never heard himself make. He can't help it though. Not when the compulsion to melt off the recliner he had been spread out in, his forgotten beer in hand (rather watching James with heavy eyelids), and instead sit at his feet, mouth closed needly around those fingers to lick the wet, glistening oil off of his smooth, heavy, metal fingers is so strong that it feels like a ton of bricks hitting him over the back of the head.

James looks up, shoving a brush a little bit deeper between the groove in his arm at the perfect time to make himself groan and curl his fingers in a seemingly convulsive but no less arousing way than if it'd been practiced. His smoke grey eyes are dark. He raises a confident eyebrow, silently asking a question that raises an answer in Steve he himself wasn't aware of before James forced it out of him.

You finally had enough teasing, Stevie?

Yes.

Bonus: this fucking MOMENT

(Apologies for the shitty gif of said moment I know there are better ones out there, I just couldn't find one right now, so I made one real quick on my phone haha)

#asks #fandomfluffandfuck #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky

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titan-fodder · 2 years

Text

Hey, y’all. Just have a blog announcement.

I’ll start it off by saying I’m not leaving tumblr or this blog. That’s the bottom line, no room for confusion. I wanted to get that out of the way.

And, now I’ll elaborate.

I’m feeling a little burnt out. I’ve been trying and failing to write pieces for months while helping manage a big collab, and I’m just kinda tired. Stuff that used to be fun to write isn’t very enjoyable anymore (I guess that’s what happens when you write explicit smut for two years). I’ve always been of the mind that if you try to force something, it’s not gonna be great quality, and I only wanna put out good quality content.

But, there’s also more.

I’ve been back in therapy for various reasons and recently started seeing a psychiatrist. First visit I was put on Prozac which is cool. I mentioned some other stuff and he made it clear that he also wanted to look into ADHD management—something that flew under the radar and remained undiagnosed for pretty much my entire life.

A couple weeks ago I started on Ritalin, and like… I can’t even explain how much easier life has gotten in such a short amount of time. I don’t live off of energy drinks, I stay focused, I’ve stopped biting my nails (which I’ve done forever), my inner monologue is coherent for the first time ever. It’s incredible. Like, I didn’t even realize how much difficulty I was truly having until I saw what it’s like to have a functioning fucking brain. I’ve had problems with anxiety and depression for most of my life, but already, I feel so much lighter.

Anyway, all of that’s to say that I’m just… in love with the outside world right now. I’m talking with old friends, I am obsessed with my wonderful husband. And, I’m enjoying it. I don’t have the urge to write when everything else is so good.

I still have projects I’d like to keep working on. My Big Bang fic, A Force of Nature, will still be posted mid to late August, but it’s incomplete so far. I adore it, so I have high hopes that I’ll finish it. I still have plans for Find a Way even if it has been sitting in my drafts for months. I want to keep writing them. I just don’t know when the inspiration could strike.

And who knows? I could post this and then come back with a “just kidding lol” in, like, two days. But, I think this mood is here to stay for a while, and I’m okay with it.

I’ll probably post some blurbs here and there, maybe fluffy one shots. Really whatever tickles my fancy. But the updates will be slower than ever before (and that’s really saying something considering how unreliable I already am).

I’m still gonna be around to read and reblog and talk with everyone. This app is almost constantly open on my phone, so this is the same blog it’s always been minus regular-ish content.

Anyway, love y’all! Don’t be afraid to reach out to chat via asks or DMs ‘cause I’d love it 💕

#just a lil psa #wil speaking

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whentherewerebicycles · 11 months

Text

oh i am powerfully grumpy today let me list the reasons why to break their hold over me! and then i will list the substantive good things that will counterbalance the grumpiness.

WHY AM I GRUMPY

didn’t sleep well and got up too early (this, as you will see, is probably the root of all other ills)

was pretty cranky with ruthie at 5am because she wouldn’t poop and wanted to just wander around outside & take a little walk instead. which fine but i was so tired and grumpy already haha. and then i always feel like a CRUEL MONSTER after i have spoken to her a bit sharply because she is a sweet little girl and sometimes you just don’t have to poop ok! also sometimes when i have been short with the dogs i am like oh great this is like a two-second glimpse of the lowest setting of sleep-deprived parenthood i bet i am going to handle that GREAT. (you can see here how i was already in that Mood where your crabbiness starts magnetizing all other free-floating crabbiness in the ether towards it)

got a little cranky on the phone with my mom because it felt like she was taking a liiiittle dig at me about the salary cut i’m taking (i don’t think she intentionally was i was just already kind of grumpy and sensitive)

i am experiencing some lowgrade anxiety about the HSG test tomorrow, partly because i have read that is going to be moderately painful and partly because i am worried it will reveal bigger problems

my lead just straight up stood me up for a meeting today lol... i was on the teams call for 10 min just waiting and then she didn’t respond to any of my messages so i hung up but can’t really wander away from my laptop in case she calls me back... i’ve been just kinda Over It for a while but man it is annoying when she does stuff like this. also lol she did the thing in a meeting yesterday where i offered to review this tiny inconsequential project real quick with my boss and my lead jumped in to be like “to make the best use of [boss]’s time, i think it’s best if i review the content first to ensure everything looks okay” which is code for “i am going to make one formatting change and then schedule a meeting with our boss without inviting you where i imply that your work was so shoddy i had to make MAJOR changes to salvage it.” i was just like sure girl. whatever. enjoy these last few days of getting to powertrip over me. you are so close to being in my rearview mirror forever.

i only have like 1-2 pointless work projects left before my last day (next friday) but they are so pointless and so hazily defined that working on them plunges me into a deep work despair spiral even though i am SO close to being done with this stupid job. i know i need to just pull myself together and finish them but wow. i hate this.

some IRL friend stuff is making me a little bit irritated and i just need to sit down for a minute at some point and decide if/how i want to react to it. it’s genuinely not a big deal it’s just one of those situations where there have been multiple small annoyances that are not exactly anyone’s fault but cumulatively just make me feel a little put-out. however i am aware that if i’d slept 2 more hours last night i might feel totally different about it so i am just bracketing it today.

phew okay. now WHAT ARE SOME OF THE GENUINELY GOOD & MEANINGFUL THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE FILLING ME WITH A SENSE OF GRATITUDE THAT I GET TO BE ALIVE IN THIS WORLD IN THIS MOMENT?

i wrote for 3+ hours this morning and feel really intrigued by the project... not sure if i have a sense of where it’s going yet but it’s been quite a while since i’ve been in that headspace where you wake up and reach blearily for your phone right away because you’re just HUNGRY to review the writing you did the previous night & start working on the new draft. i am very, very much hoping that a change of job and scenery will jumpstart my creativity a bit... i think it’s just challenging to write when literally nothing is happening in your life. you have all this open unstructured time, which means you don’t value any of the time you have (because if you don’t write in THIS empty moment you can always put it off to the next empty moment!), and then you are just sitting at home not experiencing any social or intellectual stimuli so i feel like you don’t get that “lots of ideas sloshing around in my brain... new encounters triggering new ways of looking at or connecting them... back-burner brain stuff simmering while doing other activities” stuff going. ANYWAY this is all to say it feels good to be writing again & feeling excited about writing whether or not this one sticks. i am just happier when i am engaging in the practice of making things even if i am not finishing things.

part of why i started writing again is that i got two extremely long, detailed, thoughtful comments on my last story from another writer that just made me feel so, so good and creatively energized. all comments are soooo good/valued but i feel like there is something extra special about getting that kind of extremely detailed feedback from a talented writer who picks up on why you did certain things and has a very clear sense of the really, really time-intensive revision and redrafting work that goes into weaving multiple layers into a story. i read the comments yesterday and at first was happy but also kind of in a funk about it - like it was SO nice and affirming to receive them but i have also kind of built that story up in my mind to be the best/most fully realized thing i’ve ever written and can sometimes get down on myself feeling like i’ll never be able to top it or even repeat it. but then i read the comments several more times and started thinking about some of the specific scenes or choices the person was highlighting and just remembering how many times i patiently reworked not-great versions of those scenes to just steadily make them better and more effective. and i was just like okay listen. it just takes hard work and time. i have to put in the hard work. i have to invest the time. i have to give up the fantasy that the first version i write (or the second version or the tenth version) is going to be, or should be, perfect. i’m so proud of that polished final work but to get there i had to really keep the draft shitty and unfinished and patchworked-together and rough around the edges so that i could have the flexibility to rearrange things and torpedo what wasn’t working and generate new ideas through new combinations of rough material. so get over yourself and get to work, you idiot, or you really will never make anything again because you’ll have gotten wrapped up in some fantasy of doing things perfectly the very first time. ANYWAY it was a journey haha but those comments got me moving again and it really made me remember again how much i value being part of a creative community where you get to have that kind of engagement with other readers and writers.

i think it’s going to be a stupidly gorgeous day out! and then a stupidly gorgeous next week or two! soooo nice to have nice weather!! spring is here!!! i scrubbed down the deck last night before bed finally and am now just awaiting the delivery of the outdoor rug and side table.

i had a really, really good catch-up call yesterday afternoon with a former mentee i worked closely with for a few years in my last job. i thought she was probably reaching out to ask about a letter of rec or something but it turned out that she actually just wanted to tell me about how this project she started years ago with me has continued to grow/evolve and has led to these pretty major institutional changes around making caste a protected class at our university. she was just like, ‘i’ve been thinking about you so much all year because everything we’ve been doing is rooted in the research ethos you taught me in that program. and then it just occurred to me that instead of just thinking about you i could reach out to tell you about how much you shaped this work.’ it was just so good to hear from her and so amazing to hear about this stuff she and her co-organizers have been able to achieve in the last couple years!! it made me feel really good/happy (for her but also obviously it’s just nice when people say nice things about your teaching impact!) and i also feel like it kinda lit a fire under me a little bit... like this past year has been so isolating and i think one thing i’ve missed is the way that students’ passionate commitments push YOU to be more engaged in your own life/community and more awake in your own life. i feel like this student in particular always pushed me to be more honest you know... she’s one of those people who is continuously pursuing difficult, important work because she believes it’s the right thing to do and she knows she has the skillset to do it. so i just want to hold onto that feeling you know... like as i begin to become more involved in the life of a campus community again and more connected to students i just want to keep pushing myself out of this period of isolation and into the world to do meaningful work.

#teaching #personal

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jensensitive · 1 year

Text

John in buckleming episodes

(just compiled via ctrl-f-ing transcripts, so probably missing something or other)

1x13 Route 666

DEAN

Am I speaking a language you're not getting here? Dad and I were working a job in Ohio, she was finishing up college. We went out for a coupla weeks.

–

DEAN

(Hesitantly) You know, I'm still really involved. With my dad's work.

7x05 Shut Up Dr Phil

7x13 The Slice Girls

7x19 Of Grave Importance

8x03 Heartache

8x15 man’s Best Friend With Benefits

8x19 Taxi Driver

9x03 I’m No Angel

9x09 Holy Terror

9x16 Blade Runners

9x21 King of the Damned

(gavin and crowley)

CROWLEY (answering phone) Squirrel. I hope you were nice to your father.

DEAN (driving, on phone) What? Shut up. Look, we got the Blade.

10x03 Soul Survivor

DEAN: You notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible? Away from your whining, your complaining. I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just … tired of babysitting you. Or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since …

[Dean laughs.]

DEAN: Forever. Or maybe … Maybe it was the fact that my mother would still be alive if it wasn’t for you. That your very existence sucked the life out of my life!

SAM: This isn’t my brother talking.

DEAN: You never had a brother! Just an excuse for not manning up. But guess what: I quit.

SAM: No. No, you don’t. You don’t get to quit. We don’t get to quit in this family! This family is all we have ever had!

DEAN: Well, then, we got nothin’.

SAM: Would you say that to Dad?

DEAN: Dad? Oh, there’s a prize. There’s a man who brainwashed us into wasting our lives fighting his losing battle!

10x10 The Hunter Games

10x16 Paint It Black

10x21 Dark Dynasty

(eldon and his father)

11x03 The Bad Seed

11x09 O Brother Where Art Thou?

Sam: You’re sitting there with the Book of the Damned and the means to read every word, and you think I’m going to set you free? Do I look crazy?

Rowena: Well, you do have unresolved issues with your domineering older brother and the abandonment by your father.

Sam: You know what? Just get back to work! All right.

11x18 Hell’s Angel

11x21 All In the Family

Dean: Here's the thing, um...Chuck... And I mean no disrespect. Um... I'm guessing you came back to help with the Darkness, and that's great. That's, you know – It's fantastic. Um, but you've been gone a – a... long, long time. And there's so much crap that has gone down on the Earth for thousands of years. I mean, plagues and wars, slaughters. And you were, I don't know, writing books, going to fan conventions. Were you even aware, o-or did you just tune it out?

Chuck: I was aware, Dean.

Dean: But you did nothing. And, again, I-I'm not trying to piss you off. You know, I don't want to turn into a pillar of salt.

Chuck: I actually… didn't do that.

Dean: Okay. People – People pray to you. People build churches for you. They fight wars in your name, and you did nothing.

Chuck: You're frustrated. I get it. Believe me, I was hands-on – Real hands-on for, wow, ages. I was so sure if I kept stepping in, teaching, punishing, that these beautiful creatures that I created... would grow up. But it only stayed the same. And I saw that I needed to step away and let my baby find its way. Being overinvolved is no longer parenting. [Sighs] It's enabling.

Dean: But it didn't get better.

Chuck: Well, I've been mulling it over. And from where I sit, I think it has.

Dean: Well, from where I sit, it feels like you left us and you're trying to justify it.

Chuck: I know you had a complicated upbringing, Dean, but don't confuse me with your dad.

12x02 Mamma Mia

(with action lines from production draft)

Dean: Sleep okay?

Mary: I had dreams all night. I haven’t had dreams for… thirty years.

Dean: Good dreams?

Mary: Stuff I’d forgotten about. Funny things your dad did. He was a great father.

Dean considers this. Almost takes up the topic. Thinks better of it. Smiles a vague smile.

–

(transcript)

MARY: Very. The thing is, Hunters... no matter how good they are, they all end up the same way.

DEAN: You know when you died, it changed Dad. I mean, he was Hell-bent on finding out what happened. The Hunter life, it just took him over. I guess I was the same. But Sammy – Sammy, he was different. He wanted out. He went to school. He went to Stanford.

MARY: Sam had a chance to get out? And he came back?

DEAN: When Dad disappeared, Sam and I looked around, and something became very clear. That the only thing we had in this world – the only thing, aside from this car – was each other.

(production draft version)

MARY: Very.

He smiles. But Mary doesn’t– she knows the truth–

Mary: The thing is… Hunters... No matter how good they are? They all end up the same way.

Dean (teasing): Rich and happy?

But Mary’s not in a joking mood–

Mary: I mean, the life… Sometimes it’s exciting… The adrenaline rush. Just wish you and Sam hadn’t signed up.

DEAN (with difficulty): When you… Died… Dad changed. He was Hell-bent on finding out what happened. The Hunter life took him over. I guess I’m a lot like him, if I’m bein’ honest, and I took to it. But Sammy. Different guy. He wanted out. Went to Stanford.

(off her startled look)

I know, right? Dad could never get his head around it.

MARY (incredulous): Sam had a chance to get out? And he… came back?

DEAN: When… Dad disappeared… Sam and I looked around, and things got real clear. The only thing Sam and I had in the world… The only thing. Except for this car… Was… Each other.

She stares, realizing the truth in this, as tears appear.

–

SAM: Dad's journal. His writing, his words. Helped me fill in some blanks, answer some questions I didn't know I had. And, you know, it – it – it keeps him with us, sort of.

MARY: Thank you.

12x08 LOTUS

12x13 Family Feud

ROWENA Uh, to be honest, I'm not sure. I was forced to leave, you see.

GAVIN Oh. That's too bad. L-Left him with his father, did you?

ROWENA Well...

GAVIN You left him alone?!

ROWENA He was eight, he seemed very enterprising.

12x17 The British Invasion

12x21 There’s Something about Mary

(transcript)

TONI: You're being realigned. Soon, you won't differentiate between your thinking and ours.

All of your thoughts and actions will come from us.

MARY: What are you talking about?

TONI: Well, not about this illusion of you that you hold on to. The perfect life. Loving husband and kids. But it never really was perfect, was it? All those secrets you kept from your beloved John – that you were a Hunter. That you invited Azazel to visit when he spared John's life.

MARY: How do you –

TONI: I have sources, Mary. Everywhere. After you died, your beloved John was a man slowly going mad, searching for revenge. What? Your boys didn't tell you? The drunken rages? The weeks of abandonment? Child abuse, really. It's no wonder they're damaged. So enough with the fairy tale. We are returning you to a more pure version of yourself – Mary Campbell, natural born killer.

(production draft version)

Toni: You're being… realigned. Soon, you won't differentiate between your thinking and ours.

All of your thoughts and actions will come from us.

Mary can only stare, stunned.

Toni: In a way, we’re doing you a favor. Putting you back in touch with who you really are.

Mary: What are you talking about?

Toni: Well, not about this illusion of you that you hold on to….the “perfect life,” the “loving husband and kids…”

(then)

But it never really was perfect, was it? The secrets you kept from your beloved John – that you were a Hunter. That you invited Azazel to visit.

Mary: How do you…

Toni: You left your sons without a mother. Without a father, for that matter. You “beloved John” was a man slowly going mad, searching for revenge.

(off Mary’s stare)

Oh, your boys didn't tell you? The drunken rages? The weeks of abandonment? Child abuse, really. No wonder they're… damaged.

Mary stares, stunned, trying to process.

Toni: So enough with the fairy tale. We’re returning you to a more pure version of yourself – Mary Campbell, natural born killer.

13x02 The Rising Son

BARTENDER I hated my old man. I ran away myself. See, my mom would never stick up for me. But… (sighs) you know kids. No matter what, they still want the old man’s approval. Well, that’s how it was with me, just…

DEAN You know, that’s, uh, that’s how it was with me, too.

13x07 War of the Worlds

13x13 Devil’s Bargain

13x18 Bring Em Back Alive

SAM: Gabriel, you have to dig yourself out of this hole. Look, I know you think it's safer inside. No more torture. No more pain. No more expectations. I've been there. You were nothing like your family. You sure as hell weren't like your dad. Me either. And just like you, I got out. Or I-I thought I got out. But then... then my family needed me. And this is my life. No matter how many times I tried to fight it, this is what I was put here to do. This is where I make the world a better place. And sure, yeah, hookers in Monte Carlo sounds great, but your family needs you.

13x22 Exodus

14x02 Gods and Monsters

14x07 Unhuman Nature

Dean: Well, bait and beer. You are a cheap date. This certainly isn't Tahiti.

Jack: You once told me you and your father did the exact same thing. It was your happiest memory of him.

Dean: I didn't say that.

Jack: It was how you said it. I could tell.

14x12 Prophet and Loss

(transcript)

DEAN I know I wasn’t always the greatest brother to you.

SAM Dean, you were the one who was always there for me. The only one. I mean, you practically raised me.

DEAN I know things got dicey… you know, with dad… the way he was. And I just… I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was… when I was away, you know it wasn’t ‘cause I just ran out, right? Dad would… he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that.

(blue pages)

DEAN It’s just that… I know I wasn’t always the greatest big brother.

Sam stares over at him.

SAM Dean, you were the one who was always there for me. You raised me.

DEAN Yeah, well, things could still get dicey…with dad. The way he was. And I didn’t always look out for you like I should’ve. I mean, I had my own stuff goin’ on with him, so to keep the peace I’d– it must’ve looked like I took his side…

SAM I was just a kid…

DEAN And sometimes I wasn’t around at all. You know I didn’t just run out, right? Well, sometimes I did. But Dad would send me away when I really pissed him off; I think you knew that.

14x19 Jack in the Box

(transcript)

Dean: She could handle a machete. She could handle a vampire. She could handle our old man. She couldn't cook worth a damn. Mom, you weren't here long enough. But we're so glad for the time that we had. Goodbye, Mom.

–

(transcript)

Sam: We know that Mom's not sitting on a cloud playing a harp. She's in a good place. Or she's in a great place. She's with Dad.

Dean: Hmm.

(writer’s draft)

Sam: And we know Mom’s not sitting on a cloud with a harp. But she’s in a good place. In her personal heaven with her best memories.

Dean: Fair enough.

15x02 Raising Hell

BELPHEGOR: Yeah, yeah, not gonna happen. Souls cast down to Hell? That's the end of it. Heaven can't take 'em.

SAM: That's not true. Our dad made it to Heaven after he was in Hell.

DEAN: And Bobby Singer.

15x08 Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven

SAM: But if Michael helped Chuck overpower Amara, then maybe he also knows how to lock him up.

CASTIEL: Perhaps, but even if we could get to him, he wouldn't tell us.

DEAN: I don't know. But I mean, if my dad kept me locked up in a cage for 10 years, I might be looking to get some payback. It's worth a shot.

–

ADAM: The point is parents keep secrets, right? Does it hurt to ask the question?

MICHAEL: Yes! It would. It would mean that I doubt him. The good son, the favorite, doubts his father.

ADAM: You still care about that? After he left you in the Cage?

15x13 Destiny’s Child

ALT!DEAN: We actually don't drink much of this stuff.

ALT!SAM: Dad won't keep it in the house. He only likes his "private-label Scotch." He spoils us.

SAM: Wait, your dad is... still around?

DEAN: And he "spoils" you?

(script: Sam and Dean stare.)

ALT!SAM: Well, he did. We don't know where he is now. Uh, we all went through the rift together, but, uh, guess we got separated.

ALT!DEAN: Mm. To Dad.

(Not in script:) ALT!SAM: Best guy ever.

(script: They clink bottles. Sam and Dean are staring, dumbfounded.)

SAM: HunterCorp?

ALT!DEAN: Yeah. Well, got to hand it to the old man, huh? Pretty much built up an entire empire from scratch.

ALT!SAM: To Dad.

(Not in script:) ALT!DEAN: Smartest guy ever.

(script: They clink bottles again. Sam and Dean look at each other.)

(Alt Dean finding Dean’s porn)

ALT!SAM: Can you imagine if Dad caught us with that kind of stuff? Goodbye, trust funds.

15x19 Inherit the Earth

(script and deleted lines)

Sam: To Jack

They touch bottles and drink.

Dean: And Cas. And Mom.

Sam: And Adam.

Dean: And Kelly. And Bobby. And John.

Sam: Dad?

Dean: Yeah.

Sam shrugs; they take long pulls from the beers. Dean sighs wistfully.

Dean: And everyone… we’ve lost along the way.

Drink and silence.

sources:

scripts

transcripts

#brl #dean and john #john and mary #sam and john #i have maybe found what they're best at #masterpost #transcript #john winchester #child abuse #child abandonment #long post

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sparatus · 2 years

Text

wip wednesday

tagged by @korblez ilu

it’s not a lot cause surprise covid so i haven’t gotten a lot of writing done, but this one idea has been what i’ve been chewing on the whole time i’ve been sick and it’s the only thing i can work on until my brain lets me think about other projects again lol

basically! saren and nihlus solve a murder mystery, in which an interspecies summit goes drastically wrong and saren and nihlus, there on what was supposed to be an easy almost-vacation assignment, get drafted to find the killer. drawing a lot from an old love of agatha christie and other classic mystery novels, except this one has gay space birds taking breaks from the investigation to make out because it’s important to the plot i promise. fedorian and benezia and aethyta will also be present, for my own amusement.

tagging whoever sees this and wants to do it because i’m lazy but also specifically dragging in @thetrashbagswasteland cause this is your doing come look at what you’ve wrought

Fic: To Catch a Rabbit (working title) Pairing: Saren Arterius/Nihlus Kryik Rating: M, possibly E we’ll see Current WC: 606

Relay traffic queues were, in Saren's experience, the worst part of travel. They took forever even in remote areas. They wasted fuel. Everywhere other than major hub systems had automated traffic controls, so there was no real person to talk to about where he was in line. Even Spectre privileges didn't get him anywhere fast.

And, most annoyingly of all, the proximity to comm relays meant people could contact him, and he couldn't blame a disconnect on a bad signal.

"Saren, Ierian is calling."

Saren's mandibles flicked hard. "Mm. Tell him I'm so sorry, but I'm not home." He uncrossed and recrossed his legs propped up on the dash, then dug out another spoonful of ice cream from the tub in his lap. Whenever the councilor wanted his attention mid-flight, it was never for anything good or worth pausing his vid over. The old cob could wait.

"One moment... You've received a new text message. Transcription: 'Pick up, smartass, your VI already said you're stuck at the relay.'"

Saren scowled. "And why would you tell him that?" Traitorous computer. He'd opted to camp out in the cockpit to watch vids specifically so they could get moving as soon as they cleared the queue, not so the autopilot could annoy him.

"Patching you through." He could hear the smug amusement in Azö's vocoder. Programming in a personality had been a mistake.

He heaved a sigh, hit pause on the remote, and stuck his spoon into the ice cream as the call connected with a chirp. "So I assume this means the next time you're stuck in traffic, I can feel free to harass you at my leisure."

The heavy, long-suffering sigh he got in return was almost worth having to pause Last of the Legion. Almost. "You do that anyway," the councilor grumbled. "How soon will you be back on the Citadel?"

Saren lifted a brow plate. "That depends entirely on why you're asking me that question," he drawled. His hand inched toward the remote. He had subtitles on, maybe he'd just mute and hit play anyway. Ierian would never know. "If you want to give me medals for being the most specialest boy in all the galaxy, let me check my place in the queue. If you want to give me another mission for the same reason, terribly sorry, I have a dentist appointment on Altakiril, can't be postponed, deepest apologies."

"I hate you so much sometimes, I want you to understand that."

"If you didn't, I'd be concerned." He tipped his head to one side and swivelled his foot out of the way of the nav display. "ETA to the Citadel is about five hours," he reported, readjusting his legs again. One of the perils of long feet was every comfortable sitting position eventually becoming less than such, thanks to everything digging into delicate bone. "I assume this means you want to speak with me in person."

"Please." Ierian's subvocals rang more tired than annoyed; probably the dreaded budget meeting day. "My office, you'll be expected. And do try to be punctual this time, I'm not staying here any later than I have to."

"I'm always punctual, Councilor, you're thinking of my unfortunate choice in students."

"That's a lie, and we both know it, but whatever, fine, I have better things to do than argue with you."

Saren fluttered his mandibles, and he took his spoon again. "In five hours, Ierian. Mind your blood pressure."

A grumbled series of closed-dialect words Saren assumed were curses was the only farewell he got before Ierian hung up with a sharp click. It was the small victories, sometimes.

#wip wednesday #ierian's writing

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linaket · 1 year

Text

Writing Update (2/18/23)

Tinder Saint Progress:

8 / 15 chapters complete

word count: we made it to 20k! (projected: 40k)

Excerpt:

Cathan’s gaze fell to the small flicker she cradled. “I am tired of being afraid.” She wrapped her other hand around the fire, holding it close enough to burn. “I’ve always been afraid. Every day. Look at you, Vahn. Even if I wanted to ask, I can’t. You are bleeding and no one has bothered to say anything about it.”

Vahn lifted a hand to his brow, scraping over the dried flakes of blood and wincing from the bruise. “Not bleeding anymore, technically.”

“There has to be something better than this. I have to believe that. If the wars don’t take us, there is always someone else waiting. ”

Salinae’s heavy, willing hands were a ghost at Vahn’s throat, and Ilye’s too-loud voice bracketed the memory.

“Maybe they're waiting," he said, "but these trials will kill you a lot quicker.”

Cathan’s smile was an elegy that had long been written. “Then I won’t have to be afraid anymore, will I?”

🎵 Music: Eyes On Fire, Hahlweg ft. wayfie

I’m taking it slow Feeding my flame Shuffling the cards of your game And just in time In the right place Suddenly I will play my ace

I've been listening to some version of this song since I first started writing SP, but it is usually a Kanna song (the Blue Foundation, Zed's Dead Remix lives on her playlist).

This one didn't really inform any of the current chapters I worked on. It's actually far more consistent with Vahn in later chapters or even after Tinder Saint closes, but it's been keeping me excited to get these early chapters tightened up so I can show him growing and getting there and have my powerful, confident Vahn come out the other side of all this.

Thoughts:

I'm actually doing this a day early because I start a long stretch of work days tomorrow. I planned to do these on Sundays, but it's probably going to be... around Sunday because I'm very bad at knowing what day of the week it is.

Technically, I only have two scenes left lingering in what I'm considering my "early" section to complete... I had a lot of lingering bits that needed to get edited in and I managed to get that done, so its just those two scenes remaining.

I am getting more excited each day as I get closer to actually hitting the part of this story that I'm dying to write. Somehow, all three of my days off are in a row the week after next (Feb. 27-Mar. 1) and I want to have all this early part cleaned up enough by then that I can marathon through that section. It's hmm... 2-3 chapters and not even the "biggest" reveal, plot wise, it is simply the thing I'm most excited about in terms of being challenging and tricky in the best way.

It feels really strange, though, to think about how little I have left to write? Technically I've already written half of what I projected this novella to end up at and that took forever but... I have a feeling that after I get these last lingering parts from the beginning out of the way, if I had a free week to just write morning to night I'd be able to finish this in that time because its all knocking-down instead of carefully setting up and I tend to wrecking ball through that part of things.

I can probably get pretty close to finishing this draft by end of March... middle of March, depending on how far I can get in those three days that I do have off and if nothing out-of-bounds happens which... it really might, I have a lot of odd things floating around in my life right now that I'm expecting to hit right when I don't want them to.

[prev. week]

#writing update #TSetc #Spotify

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thompsborn · 2 years

Text

find the word tag!

thank you for the tag @sarah-sandwich !!

these are from all over the place. like, half finished one shots i haven’t touched in forever, projects i’ve been slowly and silently working on for months—all across the board. titles will be provided but might not be all that helpful.

leave, found, hurt, light, cup, bleak

leave

from an au that i actually originally wrote as a reddie fic back in like 2018 and recently rediscovered on my laptop and fell in love with all over again and decided to rewrite - this is a rough draft, not touched up at all. the idea behind the fic is completely different from canon, where harley and peter knew each other in high school and weren't friends at all but were like study partners basically because their academic weaknesses were the other persons strengths and they really needed to get scholarships for their own personal reasons that they never shared with one another and etc etc and eight years after graduating they run into each other at a party and shit Happens. that's all i'll say about that for now, but the original fic was called hot chocolate when i wrote it for reddie, so it might stay called that now!

oh, actually another thing about this fic: it’s a christmas themed fic! my hope is to have the rewrite finished by december to post it all then!

After graduation, Harley would occasionally wonder where Peter went, if he was successful, if he was doing well, but he never thought about it too long. There was no point in pondering over it, he always told himself. Now, however, as they maintain a somewhat awkward gaze and struggle to come up with something to say, he can’t help but think he had been wrong, because Peter looks like he’s aged more than ten years. He looks good, sure, but there’s an exhaustion in his features, bags beneath his eyes, small things that give the impression of mid-thirties rather than late twenties. Harley likes to think he isn’t a super nosy person, but he can’t help but be curious as to what could have transpired in the past eight years that could lead to him looking more tired than he should. Then again, Harley can remember looking about a hundred times worse a mere three and a half years ago, so he supposes he shouldn’t be too quick to assume. It’s not really his place to know, anyway, curiosity be damned.

Clearing his throat, Harley withdraws a hand from his pocket and gestures vaguely towards the other side of the room, saying, “I was just trying to find a way outside, if you… I mean, it’s really cool seeing you, and if you want to catch up or something then I’m so down, but I kind of hate parties like this and need to get some air, so…”

“Catching up would be really cool,” Peter agrees with a nod, glancing down at his now empty cup with the slightest of frowns, though he doesn’t actually seem very bothered by it. He looks back up at Harley, scans over the room briefly, then looks at Harley again to tell him, “But I actually need to find someone, so I can’t go outside to catch up right now. Later, maybe? We can swap numbers.”

“That sounds good to me, yeah,” Harley responds, already digging his phone out of his back pockets and quickly unlocking it, bringing up his contacts while Peter does the same. Trading devices, Harley quickly puts in his number, and he briefly considers saving himself under something a little funny or stupid, like he maybe would have before, like he's pretty sure he did when they were in high school, but he opts against it and simply types in Harley Keener before saving the contact and giving Peter his phone back. Peter also hands back Harley’s phone with a slight smile, and Harley gnaws on the inside of his cheek, feeling oddly out of place and unsure of what to do. “So, I can text you after I leave, if that’s okay?”

Peter nods again, glancing to the side, looking as though he’s searching for a specific person. He did say he had to find someone, so Harley isn’t too surprised by that. “Yeah,” he answers quickly. “Yeah, just text me whenever and we can arrange something.” Gaze flickering back to Harley, he widens his smile slightly, lifts a hand in some kind of wave, and adds, “I’ll talk to you then, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Harley agrees dumbly, and he stays rooted to the spot for a moment longer, watching as Peter spins around and pushes through the people surrounding them, disappearing into the crowd. He thinks it’s a little bit stupid, but seeing someone he hasn’t spoken to since high school makes him feel a little bit giddy, a little bit childish, and he still regrets agreeing to come to this party, but he can’t help but muse that at least something good came out of it as he shoulders past meandering people and makes his way to the exit.

found

from the infamous revolution fic that i swear to god i'm going to have finished one day! one day! i swear! it's going to be done eventually!

And then Tony is walking over to them, comes to a stop a few feet away and smiles crookedly, looks to Miles and tilts his head and asks him, “You’re a fan of Iron Man, I’m guessing?”

“I—I, uh—” Miles stammers, stumbles over his words and goes from grabbing at Peter’s shoulder to holding his hand, clutching onto him like a little kid who needs to reminder that they aren’t alone, and only when Peter gently nudges him with his elbow does Miles clear his throat and properly reply with a curt nod and a nervous, “Um, y—yes, sir, I—I am. You saved—New York. All of us.”

“Yeah, that’s a thing that I did,” Tony says, nodding. “Definitely don’t regret it, but I wouldn’t recommend it, either. Aliens, all over the place, and—nightmares. Not a fun time, kid.” He waves a hand through the air, the action almost dismissive, and changes the subject by asking, “So, who are you all? Names? Identities? Fun party tricks that I should know about?”

Peter finds his nose crinkling a bit, not intentional but just as prominent. “Are you seriously asking a nine year old girl about party tricks?”

Tony’s eyes flicker to Peter, then to Lunella, who is looking at Tony with wide eyes while she leans against Peter, and then looks at Peter again, clearly amused. “No,” he says. “I’m asking for names. You know, the thing that people call you, usually given to you at birth? Ringing any bells yet?”

“Uh.” Miles looks back at Peter, glances over to his parents—in that order—and then looks back to Tony. “I’m, um—I’m Miles, sir. Miles Morales. This is Lunella Lafayette, and—”

“Peter Parker,” Peter cuts in.

Tony squints at him, looking contemplative for a moment too long, making Peter shift uncomfortably in his seat, feeling as Miles nervously tightens his hold on his hand and May settles her own hand on his shoulder. Then, suddenly, Tony snaps his fingers together, points at Peter and exclaims, “The spider guy! That was you, right? With the—the, pajama’s or whatever, and the webs? Located in Queens?”

Peter blinks once, eyes going a bit wide. “I—I, uh—”

“It was definitely you,” Tony says, looking a bit smug as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I was in the middle of trying to recruit the guy when the government started working on those anti-enhanced bills and shit. I had it narrowed down to five potential people before I had to drop it, and you were number one on that list. I’m right, aren’t I? You were the spider guy?”

At the time, when Peter gained his abilities and decided to use them to help others—after Ben and realizing that he could have used them then—Peter had been determined to keep his identity away from it. After all, he knew May wouldn’t approve of her nephew swinging around the streets every night, and he knew that, if people knew he was enhanced, if they knew who he was, they could track him down, could find May, could hurt her, hurt his friends, just to get to him. He had only been able to be Spider-Man for a few months before the laws were put in place and he was taken to the containment facility, but during those months, that was rule number one—no one could know who he was. It just wasn’t an option.

However, things are different now. It’s no secret that he’s enhanced—everyone knows, all the people he went to school with, anyone who watched as he was dragged from his apartment and whisked away. May knows, everyone in this room knows, and there’s just no point in hiding it now, is there?

“Yeah,” Peter finally answers, after a long, tense sort of moment, clearing his throat and looking away. “That was—I was Spider-Man. That was me. I was… before I got taken, I mean, I was—yeah. Yeah.”

May squeezes his shoulder lightly, and he can’t tell if it’s a simple, comforting gesture, or a comforting gesture with the underlying message of we’ll talk about that later. Tony’s smug smile drops, a little bit, as if reminded that these aren’t just kids, but kids that had been rescued from a government containment facility four days prior. “Well,” he says, not as uplifted in his tone but not exactly heavy in his words, either. “I have some questions about the spider guy. Who manufactured your webs, kid?”

Peter looks back at Tony with a small frown. “I did.”

Tony’s brows shoot up, looking impressed. “Seriously? How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” Peter answers. “But I made the formula for those webs a couple weeks before my fifteenth birthday.” He shrugs. “Wasn’t really all that hard, honestly. Just some pretty basic chemistry.”

It looks like Tony is somewhat stunned by that response, looking over his shoulder, towards where Bruce is making some kind of tense small talk with an overly excited looking Teddy, before turning back to Peter with lips slightly pursed in thought. “Alright,” he says, nodding once, seemingly to himself. “I’m gonna want to nitpick that brain of yours at some point, Parker, but lab time is gonna have to wait. We’re in the middle of a movement, after all, but after all of this is over, I wanna see how smart you are. If—” he looks to May, brows raised, “—that’s alright with your mother, of course.”

“I’m his Aunt,” May corrects. She says it with a finality that makes it clear that there is no mother, that Tony will have to gain her permission, not that of a parent. Tony sets his jaw and nods his understanding.

Instead of offering a response to that—though, two years ago, he would have been jumping for joy at the thought of being around Tony Stark, let alone having lab time with him—Peter just frowns, turns away and wonders why the idea of it isn’t exciting to him like it should be. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t feel all that smart anymore—if he was, he would have found a way to escape the facility, after all. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t thought of Spider-Man or making those webs or anything like that in about a year and a half, when he had first thought to himself that they may never see the outside world again.

Maybe he stopped believing in heroes to be excited about.

hurt

from a prompt fill i have been slowly writing for like almost a year? i love team red and also mattdad <3

One night, he meets the Devil.

“This isn’t your neighborhood, kid,” he says, sitting heavily next to Peter on a rooftop overlooking a park, the sky pitch black but the city alight with street lamps and headlights from passing cars. “Thought you were all about sticking to Queens and Midtown.”

“New York is New York,” Peter says.

Daredevil huffs a laugh. “I guess that’s fair.”

Peter swings his feet over the ledge of the building. This is one of the harder nights, where being gone feels a lot like being not alive. “We’ve never met,” he says, because talking gives him something to do, and it’s so rare for him to have someone to talk to nowadays.

“No,” Daredevil agrees. “No, we haven’t. Because you’re usually in Queens and Midtown. And I’m usually here.”

“But now I’m here too,” Peter says. “So now we’re meeting. It’s nice to meet you.”

Daredevil waves a hand. “People seem to assume we’ve already met, with the red suits and all,” he states. Then, almost as an afterthought, “Ever come across Deadpool?”

Peter frowns. “I have not.”

“Good,” he says. “You sound young.”

“I’m in my twenties,” Peter defends.

“For how long?”

He doesn’t respond.

Daredevil sounds smug. “Thought so. Wade isn’t the worst, believe me—but he’s inappropriate, and he doesn’t have the no killing policy that you follow, and that I try to go by. He’d protect you, but maybe wait a few years to preserve your young ears. Still, you know—red suits. We all match.”

“How do you know I have a no killing policy?” Peter questions, curious more than anything.

“Everyone knows,” Daredevil tells him. “You know, there are a lot more of us out here than you think, kid—you don’t run around in a group, so you haven’t really met any of us, but there are plenty of small time vigilantes that are working in back alleys just like you do, and all of us hear a lot about you. About how good you are.”

Peter finds that hard to believe. “I’m not all that good,” he says warily. “I wish I was.”

“Then you are,” Daredevil tells him.

“But I’m not.”

Daredevil seems to be looking at him, but Peter can’t quite tell. “Why do you think that?”

And Peter tells him, “People I love have gotten hurt. People I love have died. I could have done something to stop it.” He shakes his head and shrugs. “When I look in the mirror, I want to look away. Or break it.”

“That sounds absolutely fucking tragic,” Daredevil tells him, solemn and shocked.

It’s stupid, but Peter laughs.

light

another one from the revolution fic! i love lunella and miles and peter as the sibling dynamic i have for them i will never get over it ok

He doesn’t notice when there’s light footsteps approaching the two of them, doesn’t remember that they’re in the middle of a cafeteria until another hand settles on his shoulder and Lunella softly asks, “Peter?”

“Nelly,” Miles says, tone gentle and patient, and Peter doesn’t know when either of them came closer but hearing them helps his heart settle in his chest, just a little bit. “Let’s give him a minute, okay?”

“No,” Peter rasps, sucking in another sharp breath that makes his lungs burn, but he pushes through it and lifts his head to meet Lunella’s eyes. She’s looking at him with clear worry, and he tries for a smile that he knows is, at best, wobbly and uneven. “It’s okay. I’m okay, Nel.”

Lunella frowns. “No, you’re not,” she says. “You don’t always have to be okay.”

There’s so much knowledge in her voice, and he knows it’s something he’s told her a hundred times, but hearing her say it makes a fresh wave of tears overwhelm him. “You’re right,” he tells her, wiping at his face with the back of his hands. “I’m not okay, but I’m gonna be, okay?”

Lunella’s frown only seem to deepen, just slightly, but she doesn’t push that subject any further, just looks at May and shuffles her feet and asks, “This is her?”

“Yeah,” Peter nods, sitting up fully and looking at May himself, seeing the soft confusion in her eyes. “May, this is Lunella, and that—” he gestures to Miles, who is standing behind Lunella with his hand on her shoulder, looking wary and unsure, “—is Miles. Looney Tunes, Smiles, this is Aunt May.”

“You two know who I am?” May questions, brows rising, just a bit, in question.

Miles nods, shuffles just a tiny bit closer and looks over his shoulder, at where his parents are lingering just a few feet away, looking just as confused as May does. “Yeah,” he says, clears his throat and wraps his arm around Lunella’s shoulders to pull her into a gentle sort of side hug. “Us three were in a cell together, and he, um—Peter used to tell us a bunch of stories whenever we got really scared and couldn’t sleep. A lot of them were about you and—and Ben, and his friends, and stuff.”

May looks at Peter, her eyes watery and a smile pulling at trembling lips. “Honey...”

Peter shrugs. “It helped me, too,” he says. “Telling those stories, I mean. It—It made it easier, y’know?”

“Oh, I missed you so much,” May whispers, pulling Peter back into a warm hug that he melts into without even meaning to, one of her hands holding him while the other tangles in his hair.

cup + bleak

can you tell i love writing fics where harley works at coffee shops? also i'm a firm believer that peter's metabolism is super tricky with coffee and caffeine in general, so i always write him either getting coffee for the taste alone or getting hot chocolate because he'd have to chug like ten coffees to actually feel the effects of it. which is something i just put in chapter 9 of homeward bound actually!

The first time he sees Peter Parker is on a Tuesday evening.

He’s running on three hours of sleep, two energy drinks, and a ten minute nap that he managed to fit in before having to get ready for work. With his apron thrown on over his clothes and his textbooks already weighing down his backpack, he ducks into the coffee shop with two minutes to spare, and the first person he sees is him—a stranger, at the time, with brown curls falling across his forehead in ringlets and a busted lip that miraculously doesn’t split back open when the guy offers a forced, sheepish smile.

“Sorry,” he says, stepping out of the way and holding his coffee cup against his chest, as if protecting it—which makes sense, considering Harley almost knocked it out of the poor guys hand. “I didn’t—”

“My fault,” Harley cuts in, shaking his head. “I’m running late, wasn’t paying attention. Sorry, man.”

The guy seems conflicted, but ducks his head in a nod and murmurs, “Thanks,” before ducking around Harley and making his way out of the café, head angled down, curls falling in front of his eyes.

Harley stares after him for a moment and tells himself not to dwell on it.

Of course, that means the stranger never leaves his mind.

Two days later, he sees the guy again.

It’s after midnight, and Harley is the only one working because they don’t get many customers after sunset, but it’s a college hotspot and it isn’t far fetched to have the occasional student hole up for an all nighter of studying and assignments, so they’re open twenty four hours, anyway. The only reason Harley even accepted the night shift is because the lack of customers gives him plenty of time to get his own shit done, and since it’s his last year at Empire State, there’s plenty of shit for him to, so. It’s a win-win, really.

The guy comes in—Harley doesn’t know his name just yet, won’t learn it until a couple weeks down the line—and it becomes a win-win-win, because Harley is infatuated with the way the ends of the guys lips twitch up, not really a smile, but something close enough to tease at just how attractive his grin would be. His split lip is completely gone, which shouldn’t be possible, but Harley doesn’t focus on that because the split lip has apparently been replaced by a black eye that’s dark purple and kind of green around the edges. “That’s quite a shiner,” Harley comments without thinking—and then thanks the universe for his manager not being here, because Melissa is nice, but she carries customer service like a badge of honor and refuses to let her employees slack off on being polite. “Walk into a lamp post or somethin’?”

The guy snorts, rubs at the bruise and winces at the ache. “Something,” he says, eyes averted towards the ground and his single shoulder shrug half assed at best. Harley kind of wants to press for more information (because he isn’t stupid and he isn’t going to dismiss the fact that this guy could be in a bad situation) but it’s nearing one in the morning and this guy doesn’t seem to be in the mood, already appears a little bit tired, a little bit on the bleak side, and honestly, Harley isn’t in the mood for that kind of questioning, either, so he lets it slide for now and waits for the guy to order. After a few moments of quiet contemplation, he does, eyes squinting up at the menu before asking, “Can I just, uh—a large hot chocolate, please? With extra whipped cream and some caramel, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah,” Harley says. “’Course. That’ll be three seventy five.”

A handful of quarters are plopped onto the counter and pushed over. “Sorry,” the guy murmurs, looking embarrassed. “I was gonna go to the bank, but… didn’t have time, so I only have change right now.”

“I’ve had to fill the tank of my car with nothin’ but nickels and dimes,” Harley reassures, waving a hand through the air dismissively before picking up the quarters to start counting them. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” The guy still looks sheepishly guilty, but ducks his head in some kind of nod. “Anything else I can get for ya’? Maybe an ice pack, to make sure your eye isn’t gonna fuckin’ fall out, somethin’ like that?”

The twitch of the lips happens—Harley really wants to see this guy smile—but he just shakes his head.

Harley makes the hot chocolate and doesn’t gain the courage to ask for his name.

tags: anyone who wants to do this! your words are:

steal, four, pillow, over, giant, destiny

#my writing #parkner #irondad #revolution fic #the time is now

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lovely-angst · 3 years

Text

break ups and break ins

a/n: i didn't have any motivation to continue writing so it stayed in my drafts for forever. it's a super messy fic im not super proud of tbh i wanted to scrap it but i got so far lol

genre: angst to fluff

pairing: hawks x reader

summary: you and hawks break up, but someone breaks in?

word count: 3.7k+

09.16.21

"come on, stop being so sensitive," hawks groans with an eye roll as you gawk at him. "you think i'm being sensitive because I'm hurt that you're out there flirting with other girls while we are in a relationship?"

you scoff in disbelief before tears form in your eyes, "i can't believe you right now, keigo."

hawks' brows knit as he stares at you bewildered, "i've already told you that it's just an act i have to out up because of the commission. i can't let them figure out i have a romantic relationship with someone. you don't know what they would do or could do."

"but that doesn't mean you can flirt around with no boundaries!" your voice comes out loud as your arms flail out in front of you, tears streaming down your face, "do you know how much it hurts to see you on television sweet-talking every girl out there when you're my boyfriend? i thought you would respect what we have..."

"(name), just admit you're just jealous of the fangirls and leave it at that," hawks closes his eyes, shaking his head in frustration, "honestly, they appreciate me so much more than you do."

your eyes widen in shock as you feel your heart shattering into tiny pieces so small you aren't sure if you could piece it back up.

"keigo, i love you for who you are—not because you're hawks," your voice now small and laced with hurt. "if you can't see the reason why i am so upset, i think it's best if we end it."

hawks' eyes quickly glance to yours before they look away just as quick, "i think that's what's best too," he whispers, causing your brows to furrow in sadness as you purse your lips tightly.

taking a step forward, you wrap your arms around your now ex-boyfriend, taking in his comforting arms and smell, "thanks for everything." a heavy sigh left from his lips before he nuzzled into you, "can i hold you in bed one last time?"

words died in your throat as you felt the tears sting your eyes once more. a nod was your only reply as hawks lifted the two of you up with his large wings, carrying you into the bedroom.

no words were exchanged as the two of you allowed your quiet breaths to mingle together in silence.

your heart was still achey from the fresh break-up as your cries and tears quietly filled the air. your nose and eyes red and raw from all the wiping you had done—the tissues around you as proof.

"hey, come on. you can't keep living like this and expect to get better," mirko says and she stands infront of you with a small smile. "how about we watch something to distract your mind?" she suggests as she turns around to pick up the controller to turn the television screen on.

"hawks, being the number two hero must be so taxing! how do you do it?"

hawks gives that big bright smile you've always loved, "my fans always give me motivation to do my best! i love you my babybirds!"

"oh shit-" mirko quickly turns the television screen off before she turns over to you, watching as your lips quiver before you break out in another crying session.

"rumi," you whine, muffled behind your tissues, "he doesn't care for me at all!" letting out a sigh, she walks over and places a comforting hand on your hair before running her hand through your locks, "hey, don't say that. hawks' cared for you a lot. break-ups happen, but don't let it keep you like this. let's go out and have some fun today, yeah?"

your teary eyes glance up at her before you let out sigh, "okay."

but to your surprise, a quick hour later here you were on a chair getting your makeup done professionally as mirko sat on the couch, munching away on a carrot. "rumi? why am i getting my makeup done professionally?"

"my makeup artist is good at what she does when she beats my face with makeup for those hero galas. i thought it would make you feel better getting your makeup done professionally before we go out and explore the city a bit," she finishes, taking another crunchy bite of her carrot.

a small, "oh" leaves your lips before your attention focuses back on the lipstick that gently glided across your lips. "there, all done. you look great!" the makeup artist cheers as she hands you a mirror.

your eyes sparkled once you saw your reflection—you had never felt so pretty before!

"are you ready to go out now?" mirko asks with a smile as she stands from her seat. you couldn't help the small, yet excited, smile, "yeah."

your words had been on repeat in hawks' mind.

you were upset because of how he was treating his fans—flirting with his fans as you put it. it was a constant argument the two of you had and frankly, he was getting tired of it. why you couldn't understand where he was coming from?

he didn't want to break up because of something so trivial, but it seemed like a break up was the only option. but it was fine, his fans kept him going; or that's what he thought was keeping him going.

"hawks! we love you!" his fans cried as he landed down in front of them, his handsome smile swooning everyone lucky enough to get their eye on him. "thanks birdies! i'm always happy to have your support!"

"can i have a picture?" "sign my shirt for me!" "you're the best hero!"

fans; something he enjoyed about being a hero. everywhere he went, they were there to offer him their love and support which he appreciated and loved!

but there often came days when he just wanted to stay cooped in his apartment. away from the world and away from the hero hawks. he simply wanted to escape and enjoy being keigo for a little while.

maintaining a facade took a lot away from him. it was tiring, exhausting even, trying to keep up with how fast his mind was going. a million different things happening at once and hawks had to be able to solve them. a little much for a single guy, don't 'cha think?

landing in at his balcony, hawks let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with another tiring day of being the number two hero. thankfully, he had the next day off to do, well, nothing.

staring at the dark apartment with a an empty look, hawks let out a groan of exhaustion before unlocking the door and stepping in.

it was quiet, extra quiet these days. since he had gone to living by himself again.

after removing his hero gear, hawks walked into the kitchen and frowned at his lack of food in the fridge. usually, you were always there to greet him with a smile and a hearty dinner after a hard day at work.

well, that didn't matter anymore because you two had broken up, hawks mentally responded to his thoughts.

it seemed like tonight was one of those nights he really missed you.

you made this place feel like home and the more he thought about it, you were his home. he was safe with you and it was okay to let hawks go for the night and just be keigo. you loved him as he came, his flaws and everything. even the emotional baggage!

letting out an exhausted sigh, hawks closed his empty fridge before making his way towards his bed, plopping down with a grunt. "i'll just get a bigger breakfast tomorrow," he noted, pulling out his phone to catch up on his social media for the night.

hawks wasn't expecting to see much on his social media, he's too busy to be checking these sorts of things. today though, he was a little extra bored at home—until he saw a photo of you that mirko shared.

hawks quickly sat up in disbelief. hawks was genuinely confused. you had always been super pretty, but you were extra pretty in this picture. was it because you were no longer his? his eyes glanced over you in the photo for many long minutes as he took in your beauty. you looked so ethereal.

hawks was so thankful for mirko, he would have never stumbled across this photo of you.

the more he smiled at the photo, the more his heart ached. if only he just listened to you more and tried to find a solution to this problem, you would still be with him, in his arms. he was a fool to let you go because he didn't understand your pain. especially when you were always there for him when you couldn't understand his pain.

hawks found himself pulling up that photo of you whenever the days were tough. it never failed to bring a smile to his lips.

until mirko deleted the post.

he should've saved it when he had the chance, hawks thought as he let out a groan upon finding no picture. but, maybe mirko still had it on her phone? thankfully, there was a top five hero meeting that day which meant he could ask mirko about the picture.

hawks sat impatiently in his chair as he drummed his finger against his thigh, counting down the minutes until the meeting would conclude. it must've been distracting, because mirko approached him first after the meeting.

"hey birdbrain, what's up with you? you looked distracted during the meeting," mirko questioned walking up to the winged hero. hawks perked up slightly, before giving her a smile, "hmm? nah, just sick of meetings, wanted to get out." mirko eyed him curiously, "if you say so."

"i saw that picture you posted of (name)," he commented, "you two were hanging out?"

"huh? oh, this picture?" pulling up the picture on her phone, she showed him the photo before pulling away to hawks' dismay. "yeah, we went out. it was about time too! (name) seemed to be enjoying herself, so i'm glad i got to capture that."

hawks couldn't help the smile on his lips knowing that you were happy and could enjoy yourself. he really just wanted you to be happy, even if that wasn't with him.

"if you wanted the photo, you could've just asked," mirko smirks, causing hawks to duck his head down in embarrassment. "but even if you ask, im not giving it to you." Hawks turned his head brows furrowed and confused, slightly offended, "why would you even suggest it then?"

"not sure, maybe it'll be a way to encourage you to find a way to get it."

mirko had an interesting way of talking, hawks thought as he continued on with his patrol. it seemed like she was hinting at more than what she was saying, but he wasn't really interested in solving puzzles when he was busy being the number 2 hero.

and boy, was he busy busy.

it felt as if all the villains knew hawks would be out on patrol today, using that to their advatange by stiring up so much more trouble than on a typical day—not that he couldn't handle it, it was just more work that he would have hoped to do that day.

from the sky, he could see a crowd forming below on the streets as they cheered him on for another successful capture. hawks let out an exhausted sigh, but floated down to greet his fans nonetheless. there even happened to be press.

"hawks! you were amazing out there!" "great work! i can always count on you!" "you looked so attractive fighting those villains!"

hawks lifted up his visor and gave the fans a handsome grin, causing a chorus of squeals. hawks glanced at one of the fans near him lips curled in a smirk, mouth ready to open and say a few lines that would send arrows straight to the heart when he subconsciously stopped himself.

closing his mouth, he gave her a gentle smile before a soft reply came out, "thank you for supporting me."

it was weird of him to respond to fans in such fashion, but your words were stuck in the back of his head. he wished he could have acted this way before you two broke it off, it would have saved a lot of heartache.

hawks hoped you would notice his change. and unbeknownst to him, you had.

your eyes were glued to the television that aired the news that also happened to feature your ex-boyfriend, hawks. your heart felt fuzzy as you watched him, he seemed different...more down to earth?

"your eyes haven't left the tv since hawks appeared," mirko comments causing you to avert your eyes embarrassed. "i was just interested in the news for today, that's all," you tried but knew mirko wouldn't buy into your lie.

"yeah, okay. keep telling yourself that," she chuckles as she she sits down beside you. "so, whats going on in that head of yours now?"

"he's different now, rumi," you state, eyes drifting back to the screen. "he's talking to his fans like they're fans." your shoulders slump sadly, "i wish he was like this when we were together...i guess he really doesn't care about me after all."

mirko lets out a grunt as she listens to your moping. turning towards her, you notice her adjusting her purple thigh high socks to sit snugly against her upper thighs, "you have patrol this evening?"

"yep, my turn for an evening patrol. they're not that bad, more bad guys come out at night," she jokes with chuckle but you don't find it funny. "i know you can easily beat them, but that doesn't mean i worry any less for you," you sigh. "stay safe please."

"will do, cry baby," she jokes once more causing you to angrily pout, "i'm not a cry baby!" "says the one crying over hawks. bye!" and with that she quickly leaves out the door before you could throw a pillow at her.

rolling your eyes playfully, you walk over toward the bedroom you shared with mirko. you had a nice futon on the floor beside of her bed that surprisingly was very comfy. organizing her room a bit and folding her clothes she tossed around, you tried to busy yourself until she came back.

which was surprisingly short.

you heard the main door swing open before hearing her move around the living room and kitchen. she must've forgotten something, you thought to yourself as you made your way toward the bedroom door you had previously closed behind you.

"rumi? did you forget something?" you ask as you open the door, just to find yourself staring at the stranger in the apartment who donned a black ski mask with some sort of weapon in their hand. unfortunately your voice had caught their attention and their head quickly turned toward you before bolting it down the hallway for you.

screaming, you quickly shut the door and locked it before the thief could get in. the rattle of the doorknob causes you to let out another shriek as you looked around for a way to protect yourself and to escape.

the only solution that came to your mind was to block the door with whatever heavy furniture mirko had on her room which consisted of her bed, a desk and her clothes drawers. you did your best to block the door, but it was proving to be not enough.

"open the door and i won't hurt you miss," the voice called out and you felt your stomach twist from their words.

you scurried around to look for your phone and thankfully found it amongst this chaos and your body went on auto-pilot and dialed the first person that came to your mind whenever you were in danger.

your shaky hand brought your phone to your ear as you ran into the furthest corner of her room. your free hand covering your trembling lips. please pick up.

"hello? (name)?"

"keigo please help me," you cried quietly so the person on the other side couldn't hear you, but the desperation in your voice was clear as day for hawks. "(name)? whats happening? where are you?" his voice was now firm and laced with worry as you began to sob in through the phone.

"i'm at mirko's and she just left for patrol but someone broke in and i hid myself in her room. i'm so scared, please come quick." and right after he heard you squeak in fear from the unidentified noises through your phone.

"i'm coming right now," you could hear the power his wings had as he lift himself into the sky, "does she have any windows you can exit from?" glancing behind you, you took a mental note that her windows were large enough for you to escape through—the only problem was mirko lived on the tenth floor.

squeezing your eyes shut, you nodded even though hawks could not see you, "yeah, but she doesn't have any escape ladders and i'm on the tenth floor." hawks cursed under his breath on the other side, "just hold on, i'm almost there."

clutching onto your phone, you jumped when the barricade you made against the door was getting tossed around from the force of the stranger on the other side trying to break in. scrambling around, you quickly unlocked the window before opening it, allowing the wind to flow in.

with another jolt from the door all of your barricades flew from the door, leaving it vulnerable. you knew the door would fall with his next move, so with trembling hands, you maneuvered your body outside the window, letting your bottom sit on the window frame.

from a distance, you could hear someone calling out your name. when you narrowed your eyes to focus, all of the stress left your body as you watched them shoot towards you. hawks had come to your rescue!

but hawks wasn't close enough.

the door behind you broke allowing the stranger into the room and before they could grab a hold of you, you jumped.

"(name)!"

as your body free fell down towards the earth, hawks used his wings to give himself one strong push forward before folding his wings tightly behind his back to gain speed to reach you.

reaching his arms out, he caught you in time before shooting back up towards the sky, "that was so stupid of you!" you shouted loudly against the wind, "what if i wasn't there in time?"

glancing up at him, you gave him a small smile, "i just knew you'd get to me in time ."

"agh, more paperwork i have to fill out!" mirko groans as she walks around her messy apartment after hawks and her had caught the suspect and had cops take care of him. as she walked away into her bedroom with a line of curses, you quietly turned over towards hawks who had his back facing you. he was on call with the commission.

"yep, i'll get that finished tomorrow," ending his call and stuffing his phone in his pocket, he turns around to find you staring at him. his cheeks flush slightly from the sudden eye contact, but he managed to compose himself. "are you doing alright? that must've been quite the terrifying experience."

"yeah, thanks for picking up. you were the first person i thought to call," you confess and he perks up. "oh yeah?"

"you've always kept me safe and i just really needed you when i was in danger. so thanks," giving him a smile he mirrors you. "of course, anything for you."

your heart flutters from his words, but you slightly turn yourself away, glancing down. you two were no longer dating, so there was no need to get butterflies over him again. "well, thanks again. you must have a busy day tomorrow."

"do you buy any chance still have that photo of you when you were out with mirko?" hawks asks suddenly causing you to glance up at him. "you know, when you two went out a couple weeks ago? you were all dolled up and honestly, just super pretty?" hawks says boldly with a sheepish grin.

"why are you asking?"

"send it my way."

you gawked at him, "you want me to send you a picture of me? we're not dating anymore, that would be weird!" hawks could only shrug, "okay, that's simple then. let's go on a date." you gawked even further, "what is going on inside of that bird brain? all this for a photo?"

"i want to be the one who takes those photos of you. i want to be the reason you get all dolled up. i know i messed up, (name). i've been changing the way i talk to my fans because i understand how i hurt you. could you give me another chance to make it better? i promise i will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

this was coming too suddenly, your wounds were just starting to heal.

"you...you don't mean that, hawks," you say dejectedly as you back up to sit on mirko's couch. "i'm scared."

"he means it you know?" mirko pops out of the hallway suddenly and stands with her arms crossed against her chest as she stares at the two of you. "he's been asking me for that picture nonstop since he saw it online."

"but he really does love you still, (name) and i know you still love him too. go ahead and give it another shot, i'll be here to kick him to the curb if he does anything bad to you." she encourages, making you glance back towards hawks.

"promise?" your eyes are sparkly from the tears that had glossed over your eyes and hawks gives you a confident nod, "promise. i'll pick you up at six tomorrow?"

you couldn't help your growing smile, "yeah, i'll be waiting."

- e x t r a -

as hawks flew off towards his apartment, the notification ding of his phone went off causing him to take a look. you had sent him a text!

opening the message his eyes widen from the photo you sent, it was the cute pic of you all dolled up!

"i'm so in love!" he shouts loudly in the sky.

#hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x you #mha x reader #my hero academia x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #keigo x reader #takami keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader

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yandere-sins · 3 years

Text

One More

Genshin makes my imagination vibrate pleasantly. I just want to give Kaeya a reason to make me go “Oh?” cause he’s not even my one of my favs. But the sheer sex appeal coming from that man is dangerous.

Characters: Kaeya Alberich (Genshin Impact) x Reader Warnings: Yandere, Groping, Innuendos, Alcohol, Aphrodisiacs, Insults

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

“Hey there, Sweetheart. What’s bringing you to the tavern so late at night?”

You had barely entered Angel’s Share and sat down at the bar before hearing the ever-so chipper voice of the cavalry captain drawing closer. There was nothing strange about meeting Kaeya here after a long day of work, but you and Charles exchanged a glance, the bartender sighing deeply. “I’ve only served him two drinks so far,” he explained, and you couldn’t help but think that was already one too many.

But who were you to say no to the Kaeya?

Perhaps better than anyone, Kaeya knew about the little game you two were playing. The always so icy shoulder you gave him as he continued to pressure you with his flirts was only making him want you so much more. You couldn’t count the number of times he had stopped you in the headquarters, pinned you between him and the wall - in broad daylight nonetheless - asking how you’re doing and if you need help with anything. You. Were. Sick of it! If he wanted a child to play father for, he could ask Klee to hang out with him! You, on the other hand, were a remarkable knight, trusted enough with complicated orders that - luckily! - kept you out of the city for a prolonged time so you could avoid him.

It only was hard when you weren’t on duty. Or in the city. Or close to him.

That’s when he became frisky, rather needy too.

Kaeya brushed his face from the left side of your head to the right, taking a deep breath. If it wasn’t known that you two reached back all the way to your training days, anyone would have raised an eyebrow. But most of the other guards were able to brush off his weirdness for affectionate friendship. It was almost like only you could see behind the farce, and perhaps his estranged brother. Not like Diluc had been any help to you, though, aside from breaking Kaeya off you once or twice when he was around and noticing your discomfort.

Taking up the stool beside you, there was no prior question if the seat was taken. A rather empty keg arrived with Kaeya at the bar, and he briefly tapped the rim until Charles fished for another bottle of alcohol to fill it up with. One could say Kaeya and a drink were a good mix, but to you, they were a terrible combination. Drinking made him bold. Unrestrained even.

Even though he offered his keg to you, you merely looked away, sipping at your own glass, one you much rather preferred to the brew he drank his night away with. Grinning, he instead took a hearty sip, leaning against the counter leisurely as he watched the bards perform near the entrance, but you didn’t miss even a single glance he sent your way every few seconds.

It was very unfortunate that you liked Angel’s Share for its drinks best; otherwise, you’d have had a good reason to avoid the establishment. But at the same time, you couldn’t let Kaeya direct all of your life. It was no state that you shouldn’t do what you enjoyed just because he could be there, and yet, you considered it.

“So, how was your mission? I’ve been missing your skills at training.”

“It was fine,” you answered curtly, uninterested in the conversation he initiated. There weren’t many people you talked to when you came back to Mondstadt. Somehow… it had always been hard for you to make friends with the other knights. Part of you suspected Kaeya being a reason why no one seemed to want to hang around, forcing you to spend most of your training with him since no one was willing to spar with you. Then again, you never had any evidence to confirm your suspicion, just like with many other phenomena you experienced over the years.

More than once had there been instances where your orders had been withdrawn just when you came close to solving the problems, often with the excuses that you were still too inexperienced or needed somewhere else. It had been so hard to raise in the ranks while Kaeya seemed to make leaps forward without a worry, but at least, you managed to secure your place now--one far away from the cavalry captain.

Sighing, Kaeya turned around to face the counter again, plopping his arm around your shoulders. Uncomfortably, you rolled your joints, but he instead pulled you closer to him, the smell of alcohol drafting off his lips as he spoke. “No need to play coy. You know you can tell me the truth. Didn’t you miss being home? I’m sure cleaning up those camps must have been exhausting!”

Missed being with me? seemed to be the words he wanted to say, but he packaged them in a way he knew they’d actually affect you. Kaeya had always been clever enough to poke the places that hurt. Of course, you missed home. You’d miss it more if not for him, but you had your family here, your siblings and parents that you’d like to see more often. But there was no chance with how much Kaeya liked to interfere in it. As if he was already part of your family, inviting himself and always showing up unannounced to hang out.

“‘Twas okay,” you replied after a moment of thought.

“Well, I missed you,” he chuckled before taking another sip of his keg. “I missed you sooo much!”

That was enough for you, brushing his arm off roughly before turning on your stool to leave. You knew even finding another space to sit wouldn’t spare you from him, and if you ended up in a less crowded area, you didn’t want to imagine what he’d do. “Aw, come on,” you heard behind you as he gripped your arm, making you stop. “I get it, I get it, you’re tired. But you can’t be tired enough not to drink one more with your old pal, right?”

With his voice rising in volume, you two finally gained some attention, and you instantly felt a rush of embarrassment as you stared into quite a few pairs of perplex eyes. Kaeya might have been eccentric, but he was well-liked nonetheless. Causing a scene had never worked well for you, and since you were already deemed an outsider, you’d only catapult yourself more into the shadows if any rumors spread after you left.

Clicking your tongue, you tore yourself out of his grip before sitting back on your chair again, holding up your finger. “One more. Only one more.”

“Of course,” Kaeya grinned, getting his will once again. “Only one.”

»»————— ♡

Hot lips brushing against each other, you had no better way to describe your state of being other than burning. For someone so cool and with an icy skill, Kaeya was not even close to being cold and reserved when it came to touching you. With a smile displayed on his mouth whenever he wasn’t using it to tease you, you could barely remember how you two ended up making out in one of the backstreets of Mondstadt. His hands were seemingly everywhere, and at the same time, lingered at the spots that created an audible cue from you when he squeezed them.

“You’re so sensitive,” he noted as you hung in his arms, hands currently squeezing your ass from your thighs upwards. “That’s good, I like that.”

“Fucker,” you merely cursed back. “You only said one more drink! I feel like shit! What the hell was that?”

“On the contrary, you feel amazing,” he ignored your questions, pushing his leg between yours as he pressed you closer to the cold stone wall behind you. A welcome sensation, giving you back some of your senses as the chill helped to calm your heated body. “I fucking hate you, Kaeya,” you confessed drunkenly, but the time was as good as any to say it.

“Ouch,” he brushed it off with a chuckle. “Are you sure? Your body grinding against mine is giving me very different vibes, Darling.”

Next thing, he was back in your mouth, his tongue roaming and keeping yours busy as you slung your arms around him. “You’re so stupid and mean, always testing everyone. You’re probably the reason everyone is avoiding me too, and you don’t let off no matter how much I tell you to leave me alone!”

“Mhm,” he hummed as his lips wandered down your neck, making you stretch it out for him so he could reach better. “And now... I don’t even know! You drugged me?!”

A soft laugh escaped him before you felt a suck at your collarbone, followed by the wet sensation of a tongue tasting your skin. “Bingo, Baby. Lisa really wanted to know what would happen if someone drank this potion and you were all too eager to get it down your throat-”

“To get away from you!” you interrupted him.

“Whatever.”

Finally, Kaeya came up on eye level again, the two of you staring at each other for a moment in silence.

“Whatever?” you questioned, confused by his reaction.

“Yeah, whatever. I think kissing you made me swallow at least, hm... half of it too. Even if we wanted to, we wouldn’t be able to stop now, don’t you think?”

One of the most disgusting grins you had ever seen on the face of a person played around his lips as he pressed up to you, uniting you two in another kiss. Of course, you could stop it! You could, and you would right now. After all, you had allowed it to go on for far too long now! Pressing your hands into his shoulders, Kaeya let out a soft sigh against your lips, his uncovered eye closed as he enjoyed the affection. “One more,” he mumbled as he kissed you again and again, feverishly and impatiently. “I’ve been waiting forever to do this.”

With the excitement of a teenage boy, his hands roamed your body, pulling out the shirt from your trousers to lodge themselves beneath it. Skillful fingertips drew patterns over your skin, up your spine, and down your sides until you were gasping and shivering in his grasp. “Good,” he sighed against your lips, unbothered by you still trying to push him away, only ever flinching as he groped you. “Don’t you already know it? How much you drive me crazy? It’s only fair I drive you crazy too.”

“What the fuck are you even talking about--” you tried to contradict him. But Kaeya was quick to muffle your voice with another deep kiss. Intentionally or not, he met one of your sensitive spots as he explored you, causing a hitched moan to escape you, followed by a satisfied grunt from him. “I’ve been waiting for so long, I can’t have you take it from me now,” he breathed out huskily.

“I’ll scream!” you threatened him. “Let me go now, Kaeya!”

“Ah-ah,” he rebuked you, one of his hands being freed of groping-duty to cover your mouth. “No one’s going to take you away from me now either. Come one, be good, okay?”

Waiting for the right moment, Kaeya couldn’t endure your angry stare for very long before falling into soft laughter. “All right, all right,” he chuckled before leaning forward brushing his lips against his hand. “One more kiss, okay? I will leave you alone after that.”

Furrowing your brows even more, he interpreted you shaking your head as a ‘no’, letting out a long, “Aww…”

“Only one more, pretty please?”

You had to give it to him: persistency was something he didn’t lack. It felt like shooting into your own foot, but part of you just wanted it to be over. You two had kissed so much up till now; how much worse would one more be? And if he let you go afterwards, you could definitely endure it. Lifting up your hand to yank his from your mouth, Kaeya didn’t expect you to take the initiative, looking at you perplexed as you leaned forward to kiss him. No one ever taught you how to kiss, and without his directions, you weren’t actually sure on how any of it worked, but he didn’t seem to mind, humming a pleased tune before returning your awkward smooches.

When was a kiss one kiss? When the lips parted? After the first initial touch? Kaeya’s definition was two minutes of continuous connection between you two, only briefly drawing back for air but never without upholding the contact by biting and pulling on your lip or having your tongue following his out of your mouth into the cold night. He gripped your head tightly in his palms, not allowing you to get away. Only when he let go did you fall back hard against the wall as you two finally broke apart, and you hadn’t noticed how much he had held you up.

The rich flavor of alcohol on your tongue and his scent in your nose didn’t help with getting a clear mind, but nothing about you made sense anymore. Now that he had let you fall back and away from him, you felt even hotter than before, your body clearly bothered by the lack of stimulation. What part of ‘I wanted none of this’ did you not understand yourself? At least by the throbbing in your abdomen, you could tell that whatever kind of potion he had given to you definitely wasn’t a fun experience, but all the more potent.

“Hurts, huh?” he laughed across from you. “Oh, fuck off,” you mustered to say, but the pain was obvious by your expression. You were barely able to keep yourself up properly.

“I’d offer my help, but you made it clear you didn’t want it.” The situation must have been really funny to him, only agitating you more. If it at least hadn’t been Kaeya, you might have accepted help, but you knew you’d have to get yourself home now all by yourself in a state of constant heat with no way to resolve it.

“You caused all of this! You should at least take responsibility without taking advantage of the situation!”

Pushing yourself away from the wall, you decided it was time to step away. There was no use in talking with Kaeya, but the moment your support dwindled, you noticed how wobbly your legs felt, barely capable of holding you up. What had you trained all these years for if a mere potion could make you so incredibly weak? Before you could get back to the wall, one knee gave away, making you sink to the ground where you could barely catch yourself with your hands.

“It’s really working you hard, isn’t it?” you heard him speak down from above. Squatting to your level, you felt his hand slide through your hair before gripping and lifting your head to face him. “Tell you what: If you ask nicely, I’ll help you. Can’t promise you’ll wake up in your bed tomorrow morning, but a bed nonetheless, wouldn’t that be nice?”

“Fuck you,” you hissed back, and he shook his head, disappointed.

“Try again.”

What choices did you have? Risk the little bit of reputation you still had by being found in the morning, disheveled and drunk from the night before? The knights absolutely hated anything that would ruin their pristine prestige, so much even you knew. You had worked so hard to get where you were, could you really risk all of it? “... please,” escaped you before you could think it through further.

“What was that?” he teased you, and you wondered why he could still be so clear even after drinking much more than you did and having had a taste of the potion from your lips. “Please help me get home.”

This time, he laughed out loud, obviously amused by how pitiful you had to behave to please him. “One more time. Say it one more time, and say it nice.”

Frustrated, you wished you could have punched him in the face, but you only bit your lip, taking a deep breath before complying. “Please, Kaeya. I need your help to get home. Please help me home!”

Embarrassment was all you could think about as he conditioned you to do as he wanted, but finally, after you did what Kaeya demanded, he petted your head, leaning forward to kiss your forehead before reaching under your arms to pull you up. “Look at you, all cute and begging me for help.”

Quickly being lifted from the ground, you found your new halt by gripping into his shoulders tightly and wrapping your legs around his waist as he held you in front of him. “You’re so adorable!” he chuckled as you clung to him much more in fear of him letting you fall than because you wanted it. He seemed to have similar thoughts, giving you a bit of a scare as he let go of you, having you hang from him by only your own strength, which you didn’t trust anymore. But just as quickly, your horrified expression made him laugh, and he gave your rear a teasing slap. Lucky for you, Kaeya didn’t make you fear any longer, embracing you back and allowing you to sink against him more as he started to make his way through the streets of Mondstadt. From an onlooker’s point of view, it might have seemed like you jumped him out of joy, but really, you clung on as if your life depended on it while Kaeya seemingly enjoyed the hug.

“Just get me home, you Asshole,” you grumbled, but your insults didn’t do any damage to his good mood. “Sure, I’ll get you home,” he replied chipper, but you already had bad thoughts as you heard that.

“At least, the place I call ‘home’,” he confirmed your suspicion, and inwardly, you already admitted defeat even as you punched your fist into his shoulder.

“You know how it is,” he brushed it off lightly, patting your backside while he climbed the stairs towards the headquarters with seemingly no effort.

“I can never refuse you or leave you be. I adore you way too much.”

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just-another-author-i-guess · 3 years

Text

The unholy

Also posted on my wattpad account; diontanysus

Warnings: she/her pronounced reader, I think I accidentally gave Jungkook a choking kink ups, needles and stuff, don’t read if you don’t like needles, more making out, everyone’s still horny idk what to tell you, y/n is bi bc I make the rules, dry humping? Almost prison sex?? Also I did not edit it through bc I’m tired

Pairing: bts ot7 x reader, nun! reader, princess! reader, vampire! Jin x reader, hybrid! Namjoon x reader, hybrid! Yoongi x reader, vampire! Hoseok x reader, vampire! Jimin x reader, hybrid! Taehyung x reader, hybrid! Jungkook x reader

Parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 -

Author’s note: tw/mental health stuff: so after a long ass break (what has it been? Almost two years?) I sincerely apologize for not being active at all. My mental health has just continued to go downhill during the pandemic (I hope all of you are healthy and well!) but lately I’ve been gaining some motivation to write back. My mental illness has made me unable to actually enjoy any of my old hobbies so finally starting to enjoy writing again feels amazing. However, I’m really sorry to say that this series probably won’t be continued for that much longer bc tbh I have no idea where I’m going with it. I’ll try to update when I can, but don’t expect much haha. High school is extremely draining rn, I have sm homework I need to do. Also sorry for the short chapter- this has been in my drafts for like 2 years and I finally decided to finish it. Also I feel like I should apologize for not answering my dm’s. So to everyone who has sent me something I’ll start to look at it now that I’m back, I’m really sorry for the long waiting time <3 anyways, here’s the chapter I’ve been owing you guys for like forever. I hope you enjoy! (:

(Updates; very unreliable, I’ll try to write more when I have time!)

Taglist:

(please let me know if you want to be tagged!)

(i’m so sorry if I missed someone, it’s been such a long time since I’ve last updated this)

(Hi again I’m super sorry if I tagged someone twice, once again it’s been ages since I’ve done this so it’s a bit messy)

@joonsroses @boononx @i-am-supermerwholoked221b @karissassirak @bvblackarmy @queenbianca-7 @someslightobsessions @d-noona @oii-f-eli-x @dapppphhhhh @heranimesupermanopera @jkoojeon @iloverubberduckiez-blog @btsenchanting @tryintolive33 @multifandomgirl29 @kpopfictrash @serious-addiction @http-lovelyknow @hazeljrz @hauntedpeesha @heranimesupermanopera @manjirodni @softieforeveryone @creativecookiecrumb

The intensity in Jeongguk’s kiss was unreal, it was almost like he could swallow you whole through it. His hands had snaked out through the bars, wrapping around your smaller body and pulling you flush against them.

Strangely, Jeongguk was not cold like the rest of them, he seemed so warm and inviting, you couldn’t help but blindly obligate when he gently squeezed around your throat, positioning it how he wanted it.

Before long, his mouth started to slip from your mouth, parting with a sigh as he kissed down your cheek and neck, licking stripes as he went along.

When he found the spot he wanted, his grip around you neck tightened, cutting off enough air to have you slightly panting in his ear, as he began to encircle the spot with his tongue before sucking purple and blue bruises into your skin.

You couldn’t help but let out a small, shaky moan at the sensations Jeongguk’s mouth created on your skin, and it wasn’t long before you were desperately gripping his collar trying to pull him even closer, cursing the cool bars between you.

Jeongguk adjusted your head, a little more rough this time, his patience was running out and by now you could feel the two sharp fangs poking at your skin.

With a low whine, you turned your neck, blotting it even more for him, and you felt chills run through you as he deeply moaned into you neck.

“Shit,” he groaned, when your scent hit him, even stronger than before.

Without warning, he let his fangs sink into your skin, enjoying the small noises you made, as his one hand came down to grip at you hips, pressing them up against his own.

Blood flowed from your new wounds, painting his mouth, your clothes and your dress with crimson, as you felt him gulp it down, gripping you harder and harder with each gulp, as he began slowly rutting his hips forward and into yours.

The friction, made a shaky whine slip out of your lips, as he pressed you harder against the bars, thrusting harder forward as he drank, until his thrusts had become so violent that the whole cage he was trapped in began to rock along.

You felt his bulge grow harder and much larger than you would expect, as you felt yourself simultaneously grow hotter and fog began to clout your mind, as more and more blood left your body.

Your eyes slipped close, the warm feelings consuming you, as your lower half did it’s best to keep up with Jeongguk’s almost animalistic thrusts, when suddenly in the midsts of your euphoria the sound of a door being ripped open caught you ears, and Jeongguk tore his mouth from your neck, your body falling forwards and slumping against the bars.

“Jeongguk! Jeongguk, I swear if you just as much as touched her I will rip your fangs out a shove them up your ass-“ the gruff voice was cut off, as the person behind it came to a stop.

“Y-Yoongi hyung,” Jeongguk rasped, clutching your body, as you fought to stay awake just a little longer, blood leaking from your fresh bite wound in violent streams.

You were ripped from the warmth that was Jeongguk, colliding with a stone hard, cold chest. Even in your weak state, you struggled to get out of his grip, how his fingers tightened around your arms when the smell of blood and arousal hit his nose. His fingers were slender and his nails dug into your skin, carving out flesh and leaving moon-shaped nail prints behind.

He was cold and almost repellent, but he was still the one thing keeping you from tumbling to the floor, even when your legs gave out and you were just hanging loosely in his grip.

Once again your body had become that of a ragdoll, as your thought process slowed and you had to blink a couple of times to clear your head and vision, for the cloudiness creeping in the corners of it.

“As soon as we leave you alone! Unbelievable! Jin-hyung is gonna have a fucking aneurysm because of you!”

Jeongguk’s head bowed down, seemingly in false shame as his elder scolded him, becoming increasingly more worried as the situation got more time to sink in.

You know you should have been ashamed as well, throwing yourself at a man you barely met a couple hours ago, but still the only feeling you were able to dig up was annoyance.

Who was he, to stand there and scold Jeongguk? Acting so self righteous, like he wouldn’t do the same if he had the chance. It made you want to roll your eyes, like some spoiled teenager.

You noticed a chance in Yoongi’s grip, when he started to turn around, hoisting you up by holding you underneath your arms and legs, and even if you didn’t want to be picked up, you knew better than to struggle more in the cold vampires grip.

A chill shot through you, the feeling of being completely surrounded by his cold aura so much more different than the warm, almost sweet fragrance that Jeongguk carried around.

You looked back over his shoulder, as he started to walk, catching a glimpse of Jeongguk standing still pressed up against the cage. His head was hanging low, as if he was affected by the scolding, but his lips bore a smirk proving that he wasn’t. He was satiated. For now.

Your eyes locked with his, just as Yoongi slammed the door shut with the back of his foot, and continued up the stairs, carelessly holding you like you were a pillow, or something meant to toss around.

“I can walk,” Your mouth moved on it’s own accord, but you meant the words nonetheless.

To your surprise, Yoongi let out a snort. Apparently, your words were the funniest thing he had heard all day.

“The second I let you down, you’re gonna run right back down in that cellar,” he spoke calmly, but he had a way of pronouncing every word that made it clear he was angry with you still.

You furrowed your brows, angrily kicking your legs in the air, demanding to be let down.

“How could you possibly know that?” You huffed, as you struggled in his grip.

The corners of his mouth moved up, just the slightest, but enough for you to notice and question what exactly he found so funny about this whole situation.

He stopped walking, suddenly, making your head bump against his chest rather harshly.

“You have no idea how stupid you sound, do you?”

“What do you mean-“ your traitorous mouth, spoke up again, ignoring the fact that it was the sole reason you were landed in this mess to behind with.

He shot you a sharp glare, forcing you to stop mid sentence, as you looked up at him, expecting some kind of scolding, like the one he’d given Jeongguk.

“You have no idea how dangerous that situation was, stop thinking I just ruined your little romantic moment when I saved your life. If it weren’t for my interference, your head would be rolling around on the floor right now. Is that what you want, huh?”

Even though your mind actively fought against his words, you knew they were right.

What were you thinking?

If it weren’t for Jeongguk, and his stupidly enchanting voice you would never normally have gotten yourself into a situation like that. These creatures were so powerful, and yet you acted so carelessly around them.

“Are you going to stop fighting me now?” His voice was back to the tired, monotone state you had heard him speak in before.

It took you a minute or so, but finally you nodded and Yoongi let out a sigh, satisfied with his own doing.

He carried you through the halls of the castle, for what felt like forever. Your head lolled back into his chest as you let yourself relax, just taking in the magnificent interior of their home.

He finally stopped, when he was just outside the room you’d first met Jeongguk. Without lifting a single finger from you, he concentrated deeply on a little mark on the door. It looked to be scratched into the wood, probably by a knife, but the details in it was what really caught your attention.

It glowed a faint purple, letting you see all the small intricate designs that adored it. You were surprised something so small could have so much detail, it would take someone with expert eyes to carve it. But then again, all the house residents seemed to inhabit some sort of magic. Their eyes probably worked a thousand times better than yours.

Suddenly the door flung open, making you jump a little in Yoongi’s grip. You looked up at him startled, noticing how his eyes glowed the same faint purple. You blinked to make sure what you saw was true, but as soon as your eyes opened again, the purple was gone and his irises was back to the same warm brown they had always been.

You looked at him intently, as he stepped into the room. You knew he could feel you looking at him but chose to ignore it, he probably knew you saw his eyes change color too. You wanted to ask into it more than anything, but your mouth was dry and you couldn’t find the right words. You opened your mouth to speak, but closed it again and decided to let the case rest until later.

You heard the door slam shut behind him as he gently dumped you on a hospital bed, standing in a corner of the room.

“And why exactly am I here?” You scoffed. “Am I going to take part in another messed up experiment?”

Yoongi shook his head. “Stop talking. It’s annoying.” He said, back turned to you as he fumbled with some glasses on a small table with wheels.

“Aw, Yoongi-hyung! Don’t be such a bore, tell this lovely little thing why she’s here. She’s just dying to know,” a voice came from behind you, you shrieked and swiftly turned around to face whoever was hiding in the shadows, almost falling off the side of the hospital bed in the process.

Yoongi hummed, still not turning around. “Oh. When did you get back, Jiminnie?” He said, trying to conceal how funny he found your scared shriek.

The so called Jiminnie, stepped out of the shadows, finally allowing you to see him in the industrial lights that was hanging in the ceiling.

Your mouth opened. He was absolutely gorgeous, they all were, but this one had an entirely new aura to him. His features were sharp, and slightly feline-like. He held his head high, making it seem like he was the most important person in the room (and he probably was) but also allowing you a good view of his sharp jawline. A jawline you could cut yourself on, you were sure. His hair, was what puzzled you the most. It fell just over his eyes, grazing his high cheekbones. It was longer in the front and shorter in the back, looking soft to the touch. If he shook his head, maybe you would be able to smell the hair rinse he used. But it was blonde l, unnaturally so. You could just barely see his dark roots. Never had you heard of extracting color from ones hair, not without magic at least. A flush rose to your cheeks, when you realized he must have been a very trained magician.

“Precisely an hour ago. The Darklands were nice, but when I heard about all the ruckus Jin-hyung had started I needed to see it for myself,” He stepped closer to you, you scooted back but he was quicker. With inhuman speed he grabbed your chin between his pointer and thumb, holding it with just enough force to let you know not to move.

He examined you closely, you stared back at him like a deer caught in headlights, taking mental notice of the blue and golden rings that swirled around inside his otherwise brown eyes. “He sure has taste, the old man. She’s pretty, but did she really cause such a big fuss? I can’t imagine something so fragile.. so cute, could do any harm? Hm?”

He looked at you as he spoke, but his words were directed at Yoongi. You furrowed your eyebrows, not quite fond of the way he treated you like some sort of animal.

You put your hand on his, noticing how it was cold like Yoongi’s. “Who even are you?” You said, eyeing him suspiciously. You tried to pry his hand off, but it didn’t budge. He watched you struggle for a bit, before chuckling and finally letting go.

“My apologies, darling. I’m Jimin, at your service,” he bowed deeply, almost mockingly, the wide grin never leaving his lips.

“U-uh, (y/n) at yours,” you said, not used to such formal greetings.

Jimin winked at you as he stood up, before walking over to Yoongi and slinging an arm around him.

Yoongi let out an irritated huff. “Watch it. I can’t get this stuff anywhere, it stains like crazy.”

Jimin tsk’d. “Yoongi-hyung. Always so serious,” he drawled, fake pouting. “

“Someone has to keep it together around here, Jin brings in one simple human and everyone loses their damn sanity. It’s like working with a bunch of children.. very stupid children,” you couldn’t help the pout that spread over your lips, when he referred to you as a “simple human”.

Jimin threw his head back in laughter, a rather lovely sound that made you think of strawberries and sweet tea on a hot summer day.

Yoongi turned around to face you, holding a vile of some strange looking purple-ish liquid. “It is actually good you’re here though, Jin-hyung asked me to conduct the experiment again when you came. And since you’re here, sit down, next to (y/n) and I’ll make this as quick as possible.”

Jimin hummed in agreement and sat down next to you, you felt the mattress dip slightly beneath him.

Yoongi reached behind him and grabbed a syringe, also filled with the purple liquid but something seemed slightly off about it. The syringe seemed to have a purple glow that the vile didn’t have, not to mention the blue ropes of whatever swirling around inside it.

You held your breath as he approached, eyes trained on the syringe. You closed your eyes tightly, as he approached you first, waiting to feel the pain of the syringe penetrating your skin.

When you felt the cold glass of the vile press against your lips, you let out a small relieved sigh. “Open.” Yoongi instructed, and you did as told.

The liquid inside was cold as well, it tasted a bit like candle wax but you swallowed it anyways, scrunching up your nose in the process.

You opened your eyes when you felt Yoongi move, removing the vile from you and moving on the Jimin. He was already holding his forearm out to Yoongi, having rolled up his white sleeve. You looked on curiously as Yoongi quickly stuck the needle into his skin, directly into a vein. Jimin tensed up, letting out a strained groan as the liquid filled his veins. He pressed a hand to his forearm, long nails digging into his own skin and leaving deep marks that would heal just a moment after.

“Don’t worry, doll-face. It doesn’t even hurt,” he grunted as Yoongi emptied the syringe and pulled it out.

Yoongi shook his head. “Don’t lie to yourself, Jiminnie. Here, drink this,” he said and handed Jimin your vile, barely any purple liquid left in it.

He quickly grabbed it and downed the rest, the unmistakeable clinking of sharp fangs against glass filled the room. He slurped loudly when the vile was empty and turned to you. His eyes were now almost consumed by the blue and gold, fangs protruding from his lip.

You felt a tingling sensation all around your body, your brain turned to static as you stared into the reflection of yourself in Jimin’s colorful eyes. You felt the hair on the back of your neck rise, you blinked a couple times but the world seemed to be in slow motion. You reached for Jimin, your hand feeling heavy just to lift.

“Do it. Now,” You faintly heard Yoongi in the background and suddenly Jimin was grabbing you by the waist and hoisting you up on his lap. He tilted you backwards and used one of his hands to move your head to get as much access to your neck as he could.

You whined, not really sure if it was out of disagreement or contentment. You felt his cold breath on your neck, his wet tongue licking a long, thick stripe up your neck before his fangs graced your skin. He didn’t hesitate further, letting his fangs sink into your putty-like skin with a content moan.

He held you closely to him as you laid spread out over his lap, you closed your eyes as your head lolled back. You felt the blood pumping in your veins and leaving your body, you felt his icy hands grasping your side and your jaw.

A new, cold feeling spread from his fangs and through your body and suddenly your consciousness was back. You sat up a bit more, grasping his shoulders with a gasp as you felt the familiar pleasure of being bitten but just as you started to enjoy yourself, he pulled away with a long moan. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he dried the corners of his mouth with his sleeve.

“Hm, thank you, pretty one. You are absolutely exquisite,” he panted, looking down at you with doe eyes. They were back to their normal color, or what could be considered a normal color for a wizard-vampire creature you assumed.

You let out a disappointing huff, cheeks tinted red from the compliment. “Oh? Are you not satisfied, dear?” He asked smugly, a mischievous shine in his eyes.

“Oh no, she’s had more than enough already. You did well, Jimin.” Yoongi cut in, handing you a plate of clementines that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

You gingerly took the plate from him, immediately popping a slice of clementine in your mouth, smiling to yourself as the sweet juices filled your mouth.

Jimin hummed at Yoongi’s compliment and gently ushered you from his lap, onto the bed again.

“This is the first experiment that went genuinely well, or without our subject passing out,” Yoongi said, furiously writing down in a notebook.

“Oh?” Jimin said, quickly jumping off the bed and moving behind Yoongi to see his notes. He snorted, rather loudly. “Jeongguk almost ate her alive, I see. Rather bold of you to conduct an experiment with him in the first place,”

Yoongi elbowed him and swiftly closed the notebook. “Shut up.” He muttered.

You stared at the two as they bickered, Jimin catching your eyes and winking again. “Eat up, dearie. You need the strength,” he said in a singsong voice, fingers drumming on Yoongi’s shoulder.

You nodded, a little embarrassed at getting caught staring and went back to your clementines.

“So. Jimin is a warlock?”

“Mhm.” Namjoon nodded, eyes not leaving his book. The two of you were spread across a couch in front of the fireplace. You had been a bit weary about turning it on, fearing that it would somehow interfere wrongly with Namjoon’s icy body temperature but he assured you it made no different.

Your head was in his lap as you stared up at the backside of the book he was reading; Anatomicum: a guide to resurrection and the art of the human viscera.

“Actually, Jimin is older than a lot of us. On the inside at least, physically not so much,” Namjoon said, licking his finger as he turned a page. “He was one of Jin’s first experiments, of course with consent, he wanted to temper with warlock DNA and as you probably have noticed, Jimin is indeed also a creature of the night,” Namjoon smiled. “A vampire, as you put it.”

You snuggled further into his lap, your back completely turned to the hot fire. “Is Yoongi also one then? A warlock?” You mumbled tiredly, knowing Namjoon’s inhumanely good ears would pick up on it wether you spoke a bit quieter or not.

Namjoon opened his mouth, but closed it again. He let out a breath through his nose, before he spoke. “No. Yoongi is.. special in his own way.”

You huffed at his vague answer. “That certainly clears things up, thank you, Joon.” You said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Namjoon chuckled. “He will tell you, if you survive long enough that is.” He said jokingly, closing his book.

You shut up, almost banging your head on his book. “I’m so tired!” You whined. “No one here tells me anything! First I get kidnapped, then I get almost killed on multiple occasions, the least I deserve is an answer, don’t you think?!” You raised your voice as you spoke, dramatically throwing yourself across the couch, away from Namjoon.

“I-I get pushed around, I have no idea what’s going on, I’m hungry, I’m scared and every time one of you do something to me it’s my fault?! I can’t- I won’t just sit by forever while you conduct your vile experiments on me!” You felt the tears well up in your eyes, the more you thought about it, until you were violently sobbing.

You sat up and pulled your knees to your chest, burying your face in them in the process. Hot, warm tears streamed down your face as the reality finally sunk in.

Surely, you were gonna die here. You couldn’t even go back home with everyone thinking you killed the high priestess, but right now you wanted nothing more than to bury yourself under the covers of your bed back at the monastery. You missed your roommates too, they had been kind to you even though you initially had expressed no interest in the church.

You even missed your parents who sent you away to that awful monastery to begin with.

The thoughts only made you cry harder, until your body was shaking and you struggled to breathe. Your cheeks were red in embarrassment, but you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing over, your loud wailing echoing in the room.

He calmly looked on as you threw your fit. “Curious things, humans, aren’t they?” He said, mostly to himself. “Alright, ask me a question and I will answer as truthfully as I’m allowed.”

You sniffled, lifting your tear stained face from your knees. A bit of snot was hanging from your nose and quickly you wiped it away, an embarrassed laughed leaving your lips once you finally stopped crying.

“Well..” you pretended to think deeply for a moment. “I wanna know what Yoongi did to me down in the lap, it seems to be the first time my life having been hanging by a thread.” You said, wiping your eyes with your sleeves.

Namjoon smiled, dimples wide on display. “This, I can answer!” He clapped his hands together, excited to talk about his favorite subject; potions.

“I’m guessing Yoongi gave you the purple colored liquid?” Namjoon asked, tilting his head as he scooted closer to you.

You nodded, looking up at him with big doe eyes.

“Alright, well, I told you about the poisons, yeah? Of course I did. So, the purple liquid was actually another sample of Jeongguk’s venom, you know the one that makes you really tired? Yoongi probably mixed it with herbs, since the raw stuff would be way too strong for you, and that’s why it’s purple. The injections he gave Jimin, was simply to boost is fangs and blood hunger to make the experiment quicker. If I know Yoongi well, and I do, he probably gave Jimin a sample of the venom too, to see if it has any affects on the process-“

You put a gently hand on his cheek, cutting off his rambling. He looked at you, confused. “But why? What was the point of this experiment?” You asked, voice a bit raw from crying.

“Oh,” Namjoon chuckled. “You see, Jimin’s poison has a cancelling effect on other poisons, without other poisons in your system it could be extremely dangerous as it will also cancel out your blood flow amongst other things, but as a cure for a larger number of other poisons it works quite well. The experiment was simply to test if he could drain Jeongguk’s poison from you. It seems the experiment was quite successful,” he tilted his head. “How are you feeling?”

You closed your eyes for a moment, leaning back on the couch as you tried to connect with your body. “Tired. But not in a poisonous way, I guess. Just tired as in its-late-and-I-should-sleep kinda way.”

“That’s good. Means Jin’s theory’s were right, they have never been wrong though. I mean, they are always mostly right,” he chuckled.

“Hm,” you hummed, leaning your head on his shoulder. You stayed like that, watching the fire with heavy eyelids, just enjoying the quiet.

You were almost asleep, when the door was swung open. Swift steps made their way over to the couch and you recognized a familiar smell of iron.

“Lady (y/n)!” Aera beamed, standing over you.

You sad up and looked around groggily, realizing that Namjoon was no longer with you but someone, you suspected him as the culprit, had placed a blanket over you.

“Ohh you look so cute when you’re tired! I could just about eat you whole!” She giggled and you looked at her startled, not quite sure if she was joking or not.

She pinched your red cheeks, running her other hand down your neck. “No time to sleep! The night is still young and you have a dinner to get ready for,” she said, tone slightly scolding.

In your tired state, you leaned your head on her hand, making her smile appear even wider. “Come now, plaything, we have much to do to get you looking presentable,” she teased and pulled you up by the hands, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Dinner?” You asked as she guided you our the doors of the library and down the hall.

“A dinner, yes! Ohh! I’m just so excited to see the other lords react to you, little bunny!” She giggled, taking quickly off down the hall with you safely fastened in her arms.

To be continued..

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