#I’ve just hit chapter 14

[rorywritesjunk]

No longer locked upon the land but free on the rolling waves

You and Buggy come face to face with himself from the past, and while you’re fully accepting that this is your husband as a child, Buggy doesn’t want to accept it.

Rating: PG-13ish, but just due to some swearing.

Warning: Upset kid, upset husband. Reader is way too nice, doesn’t necessarily take husband’s feelings into account as well.

A/N: A combined request. I did a few versions of this story before feeling like it hit the marks I was wanting to hit. Also, I’m just trying to vibe off what I’ve seen of Kid Buggy. I’m no expert. I’d protect that kid with my life. He’s so adorable. I also like the trope of “Meeting your self from another time” and “gets turned back into kid-self”. This is the former, and I know shit about time travel but I just kind of made something up.

This is the last chapter with the epilogue at the end. This has been a lot of fun to write and I've enjoyed it so much, thank you all for reading it and replying! I've loved responding to you all. So thank you thank you thank you. I liked how this chapter wrapped things up. Moments go a little quick but that was the intention. Nothing was to really be drawn out.

Title comes from “Sailing Song” by S.J. Tucker.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6/Epilogue

TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @misadventures0fdes @sylum @valen-yamyam16 @dohkyu @fluffybunnyu @skyofsteel @lavalampskyy @gingernut1314 @ane5e @madam-o @the-angriest-angel

Chapter Six

Your husband decided to stay back on the ship while you and the kid went into the town. His excuse was he needed to get the crew ready or something, but you didn’t push him for a real reason. Part of you wanted him with you when you went into town because you didn’t know what to expect. Would some kind of portal open up and tear the kid away from you, kicking and screaming, or would it happen in an instant, like when he first appeared? You were going to cry either way, you just wish you had some kind of idea of what to expect. 

But you also didn't want Buggy coming because again, what if some portal opened up and tore your husband away from you as well as the kid? You didn't want him disappearing on you at all so you just gave him a kiss on the cheek before heading off the ship with the kid.

“I think that the table was over here.” Kid Buggy said as he held your hand, leading you down a street. You knew what he was looking for but you let him take charge, wondering if he knew here to look. The table wouldn’t be there anymore, it hadn’t been since you turned 14 and left to start your apprenticeship and your parents moved elsewhere. They still made jewelry and sold it, but in another town on another island. 

It was hard not to tell him everything, because even though Buggy said he doesn’t remember anything about this whole ordeal, what if this was different? What if something was triggered that changed the course of the kid’s life from this moment forward? You didn’t want to take the risk. You loved your life, your husband, and the life you two had together. Nothing could change that, so you never told Kid Buggy that he stole from your parents, or that he would become a Devil Fruit user at a young age (he never questioned Buggy’s head popping off his body during their first meeting), nor did Buggy ever tell him what happened between him and Shanks. 

“You think so?” You replied as you followed after, smiling down at him as he turned his head in every direction, a look of concentration on his cute face as he tried to remember where to go. He stopped a few times, looking around, wondering where to turn. You were patient, giving his hand a squeeze whenever he’d start walking again.

“I’d bring you back with me if I could, y’know.” Buggy said as he looked up at you. “Introduce you to everyone. They’d think you were great.” He then looked away, searching for the table of merchandise that no longer existed. “But I know you wouldn’t wanna come with…”

“If I could come back to my husband in the end, I would.” You assured him with a smile. “But you’ve seen how you are as an adult, you can’t survive ten minutes without me, so I have to stay back with him.” Truthfully, if you met the crew, you would have brought hell down upon them. While your husband would speak highly of being an apprentice under Gold Roger, you had other opinions, ones that you wouldn’t share because you didn’t want to upset Buggy. There was always something under the surface whenever you listened to your husband speak about it. The self-doubt, fear of failure, everything, and one time when he was drunk he cried about Shanks, often feeling lesser than his friend, but then the next morning as he sobered up he would curse the same man. 

“Yea?” He grinned. “Really? I think you’d like it. You could even meet Shanks, since you said you never got to meet him.”

“Maybe something will happen and I can someday, Buggy.” You steered him out of the main walkway, letting people pass as you knelt down in front of him. “I want you to know that I have loved spending time with you, sweetie. It’s been one of the best things ever.”

He blushed at that, avoiding your gaze as he looked away. “Are you saying goodbye to me?”

“No! Not yet, just…” You hesitated. He wasn’t used to this kind of attention, the praise, compliments, affection even. You wanted to give him as much as you gave your husband because you saw the way he would brighten up when you’d tell Adult Buggy how handsome he looked in his coat while you’d straighten his cravat, or when you’d let him know how much you loved him every night before going to bed. You meant every word you spoke to Buggy as an adult, and you wanted him to know the same as a kid. “I want you to know you’re a wonderful kid, Buggy.”

He was still red in the face but he allowed you to wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hug. He mumbled something in response and you didn’t quite hear it, because he suddenly pulled away from you, his eyes lighting up in excitement.

“I can hear Shanks!” He said as he looked over your shoulder. “I think he’s calling for me!”

You turned in the same direction but didn’t see or hear anything. What was going on? He grinned at you before he suddenly took off running in the direction he was looking. You got to your feet and started after him, but he was fast. He turned down an alleyway, calling for Shanks, and when you finally caught up to him your heart dropped. It was a dead end and he was nowhere in sight. 

So this is how it ended then.

~

You came back to the ship an hour later and went right to your room, ignoring the looks of the crew and even your husband. He noticed you were alone, so he told the first mate to keep an eye on things while he went after you. Buggy wasn't sure how upset you would be, because even after ten years of marriage he wasn't sure how to handle it.

He found you sitting on the bed, leaning back against the headboard with something in your hand. Buggy hung his coat and hat up before taking his boots off and climbing into bed next to you. You immediately leaned into him, curling up against his side as he put his arm around you.

“I'm going to miss seeing you as a kid.” You sniffled, looking at the once stolen pendant in your hand. “You were so sweet, Buggy.”

“I was a little shit.” He rolled his eyes, clearly having a different opinion on the whole matter. You looked up at him with watery eyes and he sighed. “Fine, yes, I was a sweet little shit.”

“I just wanted you to feel safe and loved, Buggy.” You wiped at the tears as they rolled down your cheeks. “And you're not going to remember any of it.  What was the point of any of this?”

He just shrugged, pulling you closer as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He wasn't really good at using words to comfort you. He was used to actions like giving you gifts or finding ways to make you laugh instead. He hated seeing you so upset, but he knew better than to tell you to suck it up and move on. The one time he said that to you ended up with you giving him the cold shoulder for a week and he couldn't deal with that again.

“I just wanted you to be okay, Buggy.” You mumbled as you tucked the pendant away in your pocket. “I hate you went through so much before we met.” You rubbed your eyes. “And…and you're not going to remember any of this.”

“Yea, well…” He hated saying sappy things, like something out of a silly romance novel. He sighed and gritted his teeth. “If I didn't become an apprentice and continue being a pirate, we wouldn't have met.” You glanced up at him and his cheeks started to turn red. “The kid will be fine, because he will meet some way too nice tailor, fall madly in love with her and be an idiot about it, and she will show him all the love he will ever need.” He huffed and pulled his arm away from you, crossing them over his chest as he looked away. He felt a little uncomfortable but he knew you needed to hear this. “And when they hug for the first time he'll remember a moment of feeling safe as a kid but he won't know why, and when they kiss for the first time it will make him realize how much he wants her in his life.” He took a deep breath and exhaled before scowling. “Okay? So… so the kid won't remember what you did for him but he'll have a sense of familiarity when he meets his future wife, because she treats him with kindness and never asks for anything in return, and he really doesn't deserve someone like her.”

When he was finished with his rant he looked down at you, only to be horrified when he saw new tears streaming down your cheeks. Oh shit. He didn't mean to make you cry.

“S-Sorry, I didn't mean to-” He was at a loss for words. “Why are you-”

“R-Really?” You whimpered. “You felt that way when we met?”

He turned even redder if possible, unsure if he should keep talking or not, but you were almost smiling now as the tears rolled down your cheeks so he sighed and nodded.

“Y-Yes.” He said, looking away from you once more. “I… I knew the moment you gave me a hug that you and I were meant to be, because I felt safe in your arms and… and you took good care of me even before we started our relationship.” He scratched his cheek, looking so very uncomfortable to be carrying on like this, but your crying was letting up and you were looking at him with such love in your eyes that he thought he was going to literally fall to pieces in front of you. “Fixing my coat, clothes, even my gloves. It… it was nice and you didn't have to do that because I wasn't the nicest person to you at times, y’know.”

“I fixed your gloves just to spend extra time talking to you.” You said, giggling as you wiped your eyes with the hem of your shirt. He looked at you in confusion. “I made it up that your gloves needed fixing. I just… wanted to spend time with you after fixing other things, and you didn't know what I was talking about so you let me.” You smiled brightly at him. “I lied because I liked you, Buggy.”

His jaw dropped, a look of betrayal on his face. “What?! You lied?!”

You laughed. “What? I liked seeing your hands without them, honey, because you always wore them. That was the first time I felt your hands without gloves on, you know.”

“I can’t believe you lied!” He wouldn’t drop that tiny detail. “After all this time you lied about my gloves needing to be fixed?”

You knew what he was doing, trying to distract you from being upset, and you appreciated it. It still hurt having the kid disappear so quickly out of your sight but it was a comfort to hear from your husband the little bits he could recall, even if it wasn’t exact moments of his time with you. You didn’t want him to be hurt, or go through the heartaches of growing up, but if it meant the two of you meeting and falling in love, then maybe you could accept that you couldn’t fix everything.

“I love you, Buggy.” You told him as you leaned over to kiss his cheek. He turned red and looked away again but he put his arm back around you, pulling you closer to him before he looked back at you. 

“Yea, yea.” He kissed you on the forehead and sighed. “I love you too.”

~*~*~

“Buggy! Where’ve ya been?” One of the older crewmen asked. Buggy didn’t turn around, instead looking at his now empty hands. Where did the pendant go? He just snatched it off that table and he had it in his hands just moments ago, but now it was missing. Did he somehow drop it? “It’s been twenty minutes, kid! Don’t take off like that!”

He glared up at the man. “Not my fault you can’t keep up with me!”

The man just laughed and patted him on the head; the kid immediately swatted at his hand, trying to get him to stop. He didn’t take off running, he had just been with the crew and then it seemed like everything went still for a moment. He didn’t want to say anything so he kept quiet, trailing after the adult as they went to join up with the others. 

“We weren’t too worried, y’know. Figured you’d turn up once you got hungry.” 

Buggy just nodded, glaring at the ground as he walked along. It’s not like he disappeared or anything. He was just out of sight for a few minutes. Shanks and him did it all the time. 

They were walking down the street that the vendor was on where he took the pendant from. Did they somehow get it back? He hesitated but risked taking a look as they walked by. The adults were talking to a customer, showing off pieces while a girl around Buggy’s age sat nearby, looking completely bored. When their eyes met she perked up a bit and gave him a big smile. Buggy made a face and looked away  but the adult he was with noticed the exchange and laughed.

“Flirtin’ with the local girls, Buggy?”

“Shut up!” He snapped. “Let’s get back to the ship!”

“Don’t you want to say bye to your girlfriend?” He teased as Buggy glared at him, his face red. He was about to say something else when something tugged on his sleeve. He spun around, ready to fight, but froze when he saw the girl standing there, holding a flower in her hand with a big smile on her face. 

“The red flower looks like your nose.” She told him as she took his hand and placed the flower in it. “I like it.”

Buggy didn’t say anything as his hand closed around the flower. He was frozen where he stood, not sure how to respond to that, but the moment didn’t last because she turned and went back to her parents, taking her seat near the table once more. He didn’t know what to say or do next, but the adult grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him along, laughing and joking about young love and other stupid shit Buggy didn’t care about. He stuck the flower in his pocket and looked back at her once more, his face still as red as his nose. She was watching him leave and gave him a smile and wave as he left. 

Yea, okay, he decided she was kind of nice, but he wouldn’t see her again so there was no point in saying hi to her or asking her name.

 It was just a one time meeting by chance.

#buggy the clown #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown x you #opla buggy x you #buggy x oc #buggy the clown x oc #opla buggy x oc #opla buggy the clown x oc #sunny x buggy #one piece #one piece oc #one piece fanfiction

[lnfours]

inclinations (seven) | l.n

summary: a story told in two parts: summer and autumn. summer held the whirlwind romance that came crashing down too soon. autumn brought the repercussions of young love and learning how to fall in love all over again.

au: childhood friends to lovers, uni!au

warnings: WE’RE BACK!! something’s cooking w flo 🫣, loads of fluff, not so secret pining, anticipation and being unsure of how to tell someone to stay without actually saying it.

masterlist | prev chapter | next chapter | listen

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

the sun was officially set now, the sky dark as you sat in the passenger seat of the mclaren. the windows were down, the night breeze whisking your hair around as the music played softly through the speakers.

you had missed this, missed this part of summer. it was like something had been missing the past couple of years, but in reality, it was just him. he was the one who had been missing.

your phone buzzed in your lap, reading the text as it popped up on your lockscreen.

flo

sos!! need ur help!!

you furrowed your eyebrows, typing back a response.

y/n

with…?

flo

i have a boy coming over and i need you to keep lando out

y/n

and how do you expect me to do that?

flo

literally just make something up. you know he’d do anything for you

he’d do anything for you.

y/n

okay, okay. for how long?

flo

an hour… or two 🫣

y/n

FLO

flo

PLEASE

y/n

fine. you owe me

you locked your phone, chuckling softly to yourself and shaking your head.

“what’s up?” lando asked, stopping at the red light. you turned to look over at him.

“nothing,” you said, “uhm, do you wanna go back to mine for a little while? watch a movie or something?”

he nodded and sent you a smile, “sounds good, yeah.”

you smiled back over at him as he made the left hand turn onto your street. he parked the car outside, the both of you getting out as he followed you inside.

you unlocked the door and pushed it open, “my parents are probably out with yours.”

he chuckled, “yeah, they mentioned something about a winery to me earlier. guess they’re still there.”

you jogged up the stairs, him following behind you, “wouldn’t be surprised, honestly,” you chuckled, “do you remember that night they spent, like, 7 hours at the bar?”

his eyebrows rose, “oh my god, yeah! i forgot about that!” he laughed softly, “they didn’t even drink the whole time, they just spent time catching up and talking.”

you nodded, “i think we were 13? 14? something like that,”

“yeah, something like that,” he sat down on the bed as you kicked off your shoes, grabbing a pair of sweatpants to change into. he looked around the room, smiling as he grabbed the picture from your nightstand, “you still have this?”

you spun around to look at what he was talking about, seeing the picture of the two of you together from years ago. the both of you were dressed in your graduation caps and gowns, smiling for the picture.

“yeah,” you breathed out, “the year my mom made me bring my cap and gown so we could get pictures with you guys.”

“and because you were doing it, my mom made us do it,” he laughed softly, “i’m glad i’ve hit puberty since then.”

you snorted softly, “yeah, now you’ve probably got models tripping and falling into your dms.”

he shrugged, putting the picture back down, “not really what i’m looking for, anyway.”

you squealed internally as you searched your closet, pulling out a hoodie and another pair of sweatpants for him. you tossed them his way, “if you wanna change.”

he nodded, “thanks,” he examined the hoodie, the color being a little too familiar for him. upon further examination, he smiled, “you still have this, too?”

you turned back from the doorway to your bathroom, him holding up an old hoodie of his you had snagged off of him during one of the beach bonfires.

“guess so,” you smiled, “might still smell like bonfire.”

he laughed, bringing it to his nose. instead of the bonfire smell, he was introduced to the smell of your laundry detergent and your perfume. his heart clenched, shaking his head before speaking, “nah, smells good.”

you chuckled softly, closing the door to the bathroom before changing into the sweatpants and hoodie you had grabbed for yourself. you checked over your reflection in the mirror, fixing your hair and checking yourself over. once you were satisfied, you opened the door.

he was in the hoodie and sweatpants now, folding his clothes over the desk chair that sat in the corner of the room. you made your way over to the bed, sitting down and grabbing the remote before he joined you.

“what kind of movie do you want to watch?” you asked, hugging your left knee to your chest. he laid on his side, head resting on his hand as he shrugged.

“anything new you recommend?”

you hummed, “not really,” you made the mistake of looking over at him, your eyes meeting his. the same shades of blue with specks of green you had fallen for years ago. he was so close to you that you could almost feel the warm breath fanning your face. you swallowed, breathing out a soft response, “you?”

his head shook, his eyes dancing across your face as he took in the facial features you had grown into. you had always been beautiful to him. in the setting sun, when you just wake up, when your hairs a mess of because of the ocean. even when your cheeks are littered with tears and he’s thinking about punching the guy who upset you, he still thinks you’re beautiful.

“nothing interesting, anyway.”

you licked your lips nervously, trying to fight the urge to lean in and press your lips against his. you wanted him to make the first move, wanted him to want you just as much as you wanted him.

“y/n,” he mumbled your name, pulling you back down to earth, “i have something to tell you-“

you were anxiously awaiting was he was going to say before the sound of your phone buzzing interrupted. you sighed, leaning over and checking the notification on the lockscreen.

flo

okay you’re good now

i owe you!

you locked your phone, turning back to the man sitting next to you. you smiled softly in an apologetic way, “sorry,”

he shook his head, a smile on his face letting you know it was okay, “‘s okay. anything important?”

you shook your head, “‘s just flo, she can wait,” you said, “what were you saying?”

“no, it’s okay,” he said, “should probably get back before she thinks i’m missing.”

you nodded, mentally cursing your best friend as you watched him sit up off the bed. you were so close. so close to something you’ve been dreaming about since you were a kid, so close to having everything you wanted.

as you watched him grab the clothes off the desk chair, you held the mental debate with yourself. was it a good idea? probably not. did you really want this? absolutely.

he reached the door to your bedroom, but you caused him to freeze when you said his name, “lando, wait,”

he turned back around and you caught the little glimmer of hope in his eyes. or that’s what you thought it was anyway as you approached him.

“i, uhm,” you couldn’t back out now, “i had a really good time tonight.”

he smiled softly, “me too.”

you didn’t know what to say now, nerves washing over your body as you met his eyes, “good,”

he chuckled, “you alright? you look nervous.”

little did you know he was nervous, too. he just had a better front put up than you, “yeah, no, i’m okay, just tired.”

he nodded, “i’ll give you back your clothes after i run them through the wash.”

you shook your head, “keep ‘em, they’re yours, anyway.”

you didn’t want him to leave, but you didn’t know how to get him to stay.

“i’ll see you tomorrow? for brunch?” he asked, the annual brunch between your families totally escaping your mind until now.

you nodded, “see you tomorrow.”

“good night, y/n.” he smiled once again.

“good night, lando.”

he walked out the room, his footsteps echoing down the hall as he got further and further. you sighed, running your hands through your hair as you turned away from the door. you were so close. why couldn’t you have just told him?

you didn’t hear him turn around in the hallway, didn’t hear him toss the clothes on your bed. you jumped when he grabbed your arm, turning you towards him.

“fuck this,” he mumbled, pulling you into him as he cupped your face with his hand. your heart was beating so fast it was a shocker he couldn’t hear it as he pressed his lips to yours. you kissed him back quickly, your lips moving in sync. your hands had found their way to his hair, fingers tangling in his curls.

he pulled away from you, resting his forehead against yours, “this is a bad idea, isn’t it?”

“probably,” you breathed, “but i’ve wanted this for too long to care.”

“glad we’re on the same page,” he said, kissing your lips again. you smiled into the kiss, his teeth gently nibbling at your lower lip before his tongue slipped in.

you giggled softly when his head dipped to the space between your collarbone and jaw, curls tickling your cheek as he peppered kisses against the skin.

“lando,” you breathlessly said his name as he backed you up against the bed, your back hitting the mattress as you pulled him down with you. he hummed against your skin before you continued, “you’re all i ever wanted.”

he smiled, love filled eyes meeting yours, “you’re all i ever wanted, too.”

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris series #lando norris x reader series #lando norris fluff #friends to lovers #university au #friends to lovers au #inclinations series #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #ln4 fluff #ln4 fic #ln4 x you #lando norris x childhood friend!reader #childhood friends to lovers au

[ladykailitha]

Not All That Glitters is Gold Part 14

I'm thinking about writing an epilogue/sequel to this because after reading the ending, I feel like I've cheated you out of something special, but the story feels like it should have ended after the rut. So let me know in the comments if you would like see the bonding and birth of their first child.

First of two chapters being posted today.

The after party. Tommy makes an appearance and Chrissy comes to rescue...well so do everyone in Stevie's corner, but especially her.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

The after party was buzzing with the who’s who of the industry. Producers and artists mingled with label execs and the best escorts Starcourt had to offer.

Steve had been invited to a couple of these in his time and always had fun.

Eddie was talking to this beautiful actress in a long purple and black gown. She had song on the soundtrack of her latest movie, surprising a lot of people with her vocal talents in addition to her acting.

Steve gulped down a bit of champagne to chase the bile of jealousy that he had forced back down.

“Well if it isn’t, Steve Harrington,” a cool voice said behind him.

Steve schooled his expression and turned around.

There was Tommy Hagan.

It had been a lovely couple of months where they hadn’t run into each at an event at all.

Steve smiled. “Hey, Tommy, you working a client or just the room tonight?”

When Starcourt supplied omegas to after parties like this one, they were allowed to network to get new clients. So not only were they paid well, they could bring in even more money by picking up new clients.

“He doesn’t love you, you know,” Tommy sneered. “This is all stunt to take the attention off of the fact that he fucked up with two omegas and nearly caused a scandal for the label both times.”

Steve knew that was the reason for the ‘fake dating’ contract. It was his business to know. “What’s the matter, Tommy? Upset that I get to fuck your favorite rockstar? You must have been so livid when you found out that I got invited to their charity gala and you didn’t.”

“You think you’re so special getting a million dollar cherry pop price,” Tommy snapped. “But that just means that you had to stay longer to pay it off, stupid.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yes, and I made that my first year. I didn’t have to stay, but I know my worth, sweetie. And it is a hell of a lot more than a million dollars.”

“You’ve got your claws in him now,” Tommy hissed, “but he’ll figure out that you’re as shallow as your intelligence.”

Steve flushed and Tommy smirked, knowing he hit the mark. The one thing that Steve was always worried about and that was coming across as the dumb bunny.

“I’m not stupid,” he whispered harshly. “Just because I haven’t gone to fancy schools doesn’t mean I’m dumb.”

Tommy laughed cruelly. “Look around you, Steve. This is all you’ll ever have. All you’ll know. You’re only worth is what’s between your legs, not what’s between your ears.”

Tears stung at the corner of Steve’s eyes.

Then there was a warm arm that slid around his waist and Steve leaned into the embrace.

“You okay, baby?” Eddie murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Much better now that you’re here,” Steve whispered back, nuzzling the under side of his throat.

“Stevie and I were just having a little chat,” Tommy said all false smiles, “weren’t we?”

Steve pressed further into Eddie’s side.

Eddie scoffed. “I heard what you were saying, it’s why I came over.”

Tommy blanched. “What?”

“And I did not like what you said at all.” He kissed Steve soundly on the lips. “Troy and Robin are waiting for you, babe. They’ll take you somewhere where you can calm down and I’ll be right behind you, okay?”

Steve nodded and went right into the waiting arms of Robin, Troy covering Steve from behind so no one could see how upset he was.

“You’re Tommy Hagan, right?” Eddie asked, low and menacing.

Tommy nodded.

“I’ve been hearing about your supposed rivalry with Steve from a couple different people tonight.” Eddie’s tone grew even darker.

Tommy opened his mouth, but Eddie held up his hand to stop him, “And no, Steve was not one of them. From other handlers and escorts. From what I could gather, you’re pissed because he rose to the top of the company faster than you did. He’s prettier, more charming, and better at his job.”

“Think whatever you like,” Tommy scoffed. But the red flush to his cheeks belied his statement.

“And now he’s dating the lead singer of your favorite band and you are just eaten up with envy and jealousy,” Eddie continued. “So you decided to go after Steve’s intelligence knowing it was a soft spot for him. But there are different kinds of intelligence and Steve’s is all emotional. And that’s what makes him brilliant at what he does.”

“Still makes him as dumb as a rock,” Tommy hissed.

Eddie just shook his head. “I’m making a complaint against you with the agency. This is really bad behavior for a Starcourt omega and doesn’t reflect well on them.”

Then Tommy really did pale. All color drained from his face, leaving his freckles more pronounced in the absence of color on his cheeks.

Eddie just shook his head and went in search of Steve.

Troy spotted him first and waved him over to a small alcove where Robin was rubbing Steve’s back as he struggled to calm down.

Eddie knelt in front of him and began rubbing his arms. “Hey, sweetheart. Do you need to leave?”

Steve took in a deep shuddering breath and held in his a moment. “No. Tommy is an ass but I can handle it.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Eddie murmured, caressing Steve’s cheek with his thumb. “With the horrible questions, the sexist alpha, and now this asshole. You admit it affected you and we can go home.”

Steve’s lip quivered. “But what about you, don’t you have to be here?”

“Sweetheart,” Eddie said, cupping his cheeks, “I have been here. I could duck out. The rest of the band is still here as well as Benny and our producer Alexi. They could hold court if you really needed us to go right now.”

“Tommy’s already been reported to management,” Troy said, cradling his ear. “They still want Eddie to make a formal complaint, but they’re pulling Tommy out and replacing him with Chrissy Cunningham.”

Robin nodded. “Elinor and a couple other omegas who were here with actual clients had run afoul of him as well.”

Steve raised his head. “Wait, really? He’s pissed that he was only here to work the room as opposed to being with a client? Is he stupid?”

Troy raised his hand and rocked his fingers back and forth. “The jury is still out on that one.”

Eddie looked back between Troy and Steve in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“It depends on the client,” Steve said, “but an escort can make $1000-5000 a night. But working a room, you’re paid an five grand plus the chance to pick up future clients. Alphas that aren’t there with anyone who might have an event coming up that would be improved by having an escort. Maybe their rut is coming up soon. Working a room can net an escort closer to ten to fifteen grand.”

Eddie blinked. “Holy shit. Now, I’m wondering how he could be so stupid.”

“I could answer that,” a warm female voice said behind them.

Steve looked up and grinned. “Chrissy!”

Eddie stood up and turned around to see one of the prettiest female omegas he ever seen. Her strawberry blonde hair was artfully pulled back in a wavy bun, highlighting her green eyes and dazzling smile. She wore a pink mermaid tail dress that had feathers on her hips and on the train. She held a matching clutch.

She gave Steve a hug. “I’m sorry Tommy was an douchebag tonight, cher. But I’m here now.”

Steve relaxed, the last bit of tension bleeding from his frame with her casual support.

“So why would d-bag want a client over working the room if the gains are greater working the room?” Eddie asked, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

He had changed, too. The tuxedo pants had been replaced by leather ones, and he wore a band tee under a leather jacket. His knee high boots gave him a little extra height on Steve even in his own heels.

Chrissy smiled up at him. “Because if you’re working the room, that means you weren’t good enough to get a client going to the Grammy’s. It’s about the prestige of being with a big name artist. And that clout can’t be bought. Steve here is going to get more requests being at Eddie’s side, then I will from working the room.”

Robin snorted. “Only because Steve’s that hot.”

Steve ducked his head to hide his blush. He really did have the best of friends.

Chrissy giggled. “There’s a little bit to that, sure. But the salient point is that Tommy is jealous because he knows that even with Eddie courting Steve, Steve is going to make a hell of a lot more money than Tommy could hope to dream of in just this year.”

“He was trying to upset the escorts on jobs so that they would leave,” Troy said, “which would free up the clients for those only working the room.”

Steve and Chrissy gave Troy an appraising eyebrow, impressed.

“Sounds about right,” Steve said. “Which means leaving would be giving in to his schemes. Plus, Chrissy is here now. That makes the party way more fun.”

Eddie held out his hand and helped Steve to his feet. “Whatever you want, princess. I am but yours to command.”

Steve wagged his eyebrows. “Something I’ll consider for tonight.”

Robin and Chrissy wolf whistled.

Troy just shook his head. With Robin in tow, Troy melded back into the crowds to keep an eye on Steve from a distance.

Chrissy was introduced to the band. Jeff was immediately smitten by her charms.

He was falling over his feet to impress her.

“Jeffy here writes our music,” Eddie told her and Steve. “I write the lyrics and he turns them into songs. Really I have the easy part. He does all the heavy lifting.”

Gareth, immediately picking up on where Eddie was going with this followed that up with, “Yeah. Which considering he boxes to stay in shape it’s really easy for him.”

“You box?” Chrissy asked, all interest. “Do you actually get in the ring or do you just go up against punching bags to prevent ruining the prettiest face of the band?”

Steve hissed at her, “You take that back! Eddie is the hottest member of the band.”

“Hottest guitarist, maybe,” Elinor huffed. “Hottest member is clearly Gareth.”

The three alphas were starting to growl when Brian stepped in. “Guys, guys. You’re all very pretty. The prettiest. Now can we move on?”

Just when everyone had calmed down, he said, “Besides we all know the best looking one in the band is me!”

His friends dogpiled him and wrestled him to the ground.

Chrissy leaned over to Steve as the four of the tussled. “Do they do this often?”

Steve just shrugged. He hadn’t had the chance to hang out with band yet.

Elinor rolled her eyes. “They are like this all the time. In a minute or so, they’ll get tired, give up and move on like nothing has happened. They’ll straighten their clothes and hair, all the better for it.”

Sure enough they did just that.

Brian looked the worst for wear considering he had been the one under attack, but nothing was torn or out of place and quite quickly they were looking like nothing had happened.

“I love these dorks,” Eddie murmured. “So, so much.”

Steve kissed his cheek. “That’s good, because I think you’re stuck with them, being in a band and all.”

Jeff giggled. “Is he stuck in here with us, or are we stuck in here with him?”

Steve tapped his lips thoughtfully. “Oh, definitely the latter.”

“Hey!” Eddie protested.

Gareth shook his head. “No, no. I’m with Steve on this one. We are definitely stuck in here with you.”

“Traitors,” he muttered darkly.

Steve nuzzled his scent gland and Eddie’s alpha purred. It took every ounce of Steve’s professionalism he had to keep the replying chirp quiet enough that only Eddie could hear.

Eddie grinned. “Just let me make the rounds one more time and then you and I will get out of here.”

Steve nodded and then watched him go. He grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing waiter and downed in one gulp.

Chrissy’s eyes went wide and she slipped her arm through his and murmured, “Come on, cher. Let’s talk, you look like you need it.”

Steve nodded and followed her outside to get some fresh air. Once there he told her all about his night and not just the Tommy fuckery.

“I was standing there already feeling jealous about the gorgeous female omega actress that he was talking to and then Tommy came in and poked at my other biggest insecurity and I just crumpled...”

Chrissy put her arm around his shoulder and laid her head on his chest.

“You’re going to have to decide if that side of his job is going to be worth it, because if you’re freaking out over him just talking to an actress,” she said gently, “how are you going to fare when he goes on tour?”

Steve sighed. It was one of the reasons that Neil never requested to court him. Being on tour all the time, the constantly being away from Steve who was very much of fixture of LA.

“I don’t know,” he admitted softly. “But he stirs something inside me that I have never felt before and it’s addicting. It feels like flying and I worry that I’ll fly too close to the sun and fall.”

“Soar anyway, Steve,” she advised him. “It’s scary and it’s new. But soar anyway. You deserve a chance at happiness, just be sure to tell Eddie when you feel this way. Because he’s not a mind reader. He can’t see what’s happening behind his back.”

Steve frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Eddie was told Tommy was harassing you,” Chrissy said. She held up her hand before Steve could say anything. “Now before you get all in your head thinking that he had to be told to come to your rescue, we both know that’s not true. But he had to be told you were in danger. Because it was happening where he couldn’t see. So you have to tell him when you’re feeling left out or jealous, because if it’s happening where he can’t see, he can’t fix it.”

Steve let out a long sigh. “Yeah, I see what you mean. If I had been more honest about the actress, Eddie would have already been by my side and maybe Tommy would have still approached or not, but probably not.”

She nodded. She turned around and saw Eddie looking for Steve. She spun Steve around and pushed him toward Eddie.

“Now go get your man.”

Steve stumbled into the venue and began moving quickly so he could reach Eddie faster.

Suddenly Eddie had an armful of soft omega.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he murmured into Steve’s ear, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. “You ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Steve said softly. “Take me home, Eds.”

Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

The confrontation with Tommy had been stewing in my head since I first starting writing the story, originally it was going to be with the Nancy and Billy at New Yorker party but there was already too much going on in that chapter so it got moved here.

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#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #omegaverse #alpha eddie munson #rockstar eddie munson #omega steve harrington

[superprincesspea]

Courted by the Dragon

Chapter 14 - Secrets and Sapphires

Aemond Targaryen is both the cause and witness to the greatest humiliation of your life. You would rather die than see him again. Yet summer at court and the precipice of civil war have other ideas.

Masterlist

~~~

Maris’ anger had not diminished in your absence, and she was certainly glad of the thunderous scolding you received from your father.

His finger pointing, his voice booming so loudly you imagine half the keep can hear it.

Stupid, careless, girl.

He was right, you had been careless. You’d lost yourself in Aemond’s company and what could be more careless than that?  

Except, that wasn’t why he was angry. You'd gone missing for hours and your mothers' cheeks were still stained with tears. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, and you mean it, “I won’t let it happen again.” 

“You shouldn’t even let her join us in the hall tonight!” Maris pipes in when the shouting has dwindled down to a halt, her eyes narrowed and vengeful.  

But her attempt at siding with your father is soon thwarted because Borros Baratheon doles out the punishments, not his daughters, and a fresh wave of anger washes over him. 

“Quiet girl!” he snaps, before returning his attention back to you, his voice booming again, “you’ll get changed and you’ll do it quickly or so help me!”  

You don't need to be told twice, and rush to your room, pulling a yellow gown from your armoire before thinking better of it.  

Maris already thought you were trying to steal Aemond and, in her mind, yellow was the colour to do it in. So, you reach for the sapphire blue, making tonight its third outing of the summer and perhaps its final one too.   

You’re still fiddling with the tiny buttons when Cassandra sneaks into your room with a pitying look.  

She sits patiently on the bed, waiting for you to finish before picking up your brush and nudging you onto the stool next to your vanity. 

“We can’t have you looking like this,” she says, her voice cheerful as she gently pulls the brush through all the knots which had formed in the rain. 

Trying not to wince each time she hits a snag, you sit quietly, miserably , worrying the skirt of your dress and wishing your father had forced you to stay behind.  

You're still shaken from the way his voice had boomed in your ears, and you’d rather curl up in a ball and cry, instead of facing an evening of polite conversation and Maris’ seemingly endless supply of anger.  

“She’ll get over it,” Cassandra says, and you know she’s right but that doesn’t make it any easier. If you could skip forward to a place where Maris didn’t hate you, you would, but there was no quick fix, only time.  

“And...” she begins, waiting for you to meet her eye in the mirror, “ I think we both know she never had a chance.”  

Heart suddenly in your throat, you look at your hands, hoping to hide any of the thoughts which may have escaped onto your face.  

But Cassandra doesn’t need any confirmation of what she already knows to be true. 

“I do not believe I’ve ever seen Prince Aemond look at Maris the way he looks at you,” she says, and you stiffen, it was exactly what the Queen had said at the tourney. 

“If you knew why , you would be ashamed to have me as your sister.” 

You look up from your hands just in time to see Cassandra’s eyes widen with horror, the brush stopping its progress.  

“Do not tell me you have given him your virtue?”   

“No! ” you say quickly, surprised by her suggestion.  

Though, for one brief moment, you can’t help but imagine what that would be like.  

High Valyrian rolling from his tongue, long fingers wrapping around your waist instead of books. Would his kiss be gentle, hesitant even? Just a soft, momentary press of lips to test your willing.  

Or would it be certain? Urgent? Would he push you up against the bookcases, hard and feverish, his lips devouring yours before finding the racing pulse at your neck, his hands moving from your waist, hitching up the skirts of your dress and-  

Clearing your throat, you banish the thought away, but not quickly enough. Your cheeks are more than a little flushed when you admit, “I met him before we came to court.”  

“Where ?” 

“On the beach below the keep.”  

She laughs, her brow knitted with confusion, “why didn’t you tell anyone?” 

“Because I was alone… and I was…” you hold your tongue, could you really tell her the truth?  

“I was swimming ,” you whisper, and it feels both cathartic and terrifying at the same time.  

Cassandra’s fingers fall from your hair altogether and you dare not look at her in the mirror. Instead, you turn to meet her, face to face, your heart pounding harder than before, your palms slick with sickening nerves. 

Yet, instead of shame you find anger, an emotion which barely ever registers on her face, and her voice is low, tense .  

“Did he hurt you?” she demands in a hushed whisper which is no less powerful than your fathers bellowing. 

“No ,” you gasp, knowing precisely what she is thinking as you reach to touch her arm and reassure her, “he only looked, but he has teased me about it all summer.” 

She laughs then, relieved , her hands returning to your hair. “No wonder he looks at you like that .” 

“Like what?” 

“Like he is constantly on the brink of kissing you.” 

Your cheeks flush yet again, but Cassandra’s tone hardens, scolding you. “You know you really should have told me this months ago. And Maris. How could she ever stand a chance when Prince Aemond had already fallen in love with you?” 

“He loves tormenting me, nothing more.”  

“If you say so,” Cassandra teases before shaking her head, “I still cannot believe you thought you could keep this a secret. Heavens, you can be so wilful sometimes.” 

“But you’ll promise not to tell anyone?” you say, desperately, and by ‘anyone’, you mean Maris. 

“We are sisters, your secrets are mine to keep, not to share,” she reassures, sliding the last pin into your hair and you relax, turning on the stool to hug her tightly.  

It was strange, but despite all your torment, you hadn’t realised just how much you’d needed such comfort until her arms were wrapping around your shoulders and she was kissing the top of your head.  

It was no secret that you and Cassandra had never been as close as you and Maris, who were like partners in crime compared to your perfect, angelic, older sister. But her embrace is so steadfast, that it seems impossible to imagine you could have any better friend or sister than her. 

“You know...” she starts, as you pull away from the embrace, “we never did get to the bottom of who sent us these gowns...” 

You look down at your dress, the sapphire bodice glimmering with gems, and she was right. After trying to thank Tyland Lannister, you hadn’t really wanted to think who could have bought them. Or why. 

“Helaena told me that when Aemond lost his eye, they offered to replace it with gold,” she pauses for dramatic effect, “he chose a sapphire instead.” 

“A sapphire?” you choke, picturing the way it might glitter beneath the patch across his eye. So beautiful, so radiant.  Just like your gown.  

Then you think of the times you’d wore the dress in front of him and feel as though you might be sick. From nerves, from anger, from the sheer audacity of the knowing smiles you’d seen on his face each time. 

Were you really wearing something he’d picked out?   

You didn’t want to believe it, but who else could afford such a thing?  

Who else would choose this exact shade of sapphire blue?  

Hurrying towards your armoire, you reach for the yellow gown once again but it's too late. Your father's voice is booming into your room and it's time to leave, whether you’re ready or not. 

Cursing the entire situation, you trail behind your family all the way to the hall, wondering how long it would take them to notice if you decided to slip away. If you hadn’t gone missing this afternoon, you would chance it, but you’re not sure you can withstand any more of your father's anger. 

Instead, you think, so what if Aemond chose your dress? It didn’t mean anything .  

Except, you can’t even hold that lie in your brain for more than a moment before it falls apart.  Because it did mean something. Everything he’d done meant something . 

He’d met you on the beach in spring and thought of you often enough to invite you here for summer, to choose the books on your nightstand, and purchase the most beautiful gown you’d ever seen, for no other purpose than to see you standing in a room wearing the exact shade of his eye.  

Yet, the same man who’d done all those things, had also stolen more than one look at your naked body, threatened all your suitors, toyed with Maris, told everyone you couldn’t dance, embarrassed you in front of his mother, and killed Ser Glover in cold blood. 

He was impulsive, arrogant and completely ignorant to anyone’s feelings but his own. You still hated him, a few hours in the library couldn’t change that.  

You could only pray that he would not be in the hall tonight because hating him and facing him were too very different things.  

Yet there he was. Across the room. A dark line of fine black leather, his eye meeting with yours, holding all your attention before it slowly sinks to your dress.  

The slightest twitch of a smile quivers at his lips, and you know, beyond any doubt, that he was the mysterious secret admirer who’d sent three gowns to the Baratheon sisters. One pink, one lilac and one sapphire blue. 

You swallow hard and he begins to move, abandoning the people he was in conversation with, his usual cocky gait carrying him quickly across the room and, more importantly, directly towards you.  

He’s already made it halfway before you jump into action. 

Seven hells!  

What was he thinking?  

He was Aemond Targaryen. When he walked, people watched.  

Maris watched.  

He couldn’t just walk right up to you like this. He wasn’t the kind of man who walked right up to anyone- unless he was threatening them.  

Breaking away from your family, you skirt around the edge of the room, and he changes direction. Another smile twitching at his lips, as though he’s enjoying the chase. But you’re not going far, just far enough so Maris cannot see past the crowds. 

You wait for Aemond by a thick stone column and, when he’s close enough, you push him behind it, so you can be hidden from all the prying eyes that might be watching.  

“We can find more privacy than this if you wish to have me alone, issa jorrāelagon,” he says, a devilish smirk now filling his cheeks entirely. 

You sigh sharply, “that is the last thing I want!”  

“Are you certain?” his gaze scrapes down, to where the tips of your fingers are still pressed against his chest, “then why are you pinning me against a wall?” 

Embarrassed , you snatch your hands away, knotting them behind your back, your heart thumping as he laughs, enjoying every ounce of your torment as per usual. 

Then you let out an exasperated sigh, wondering, yet again, how you’d spent so many hours with this man.  

“You cannot just walk right up to me in front of the entire room,” you warn and, though a small frown creases into his brow, amusement still holds sway over his face.  

“How else am I to ask you to dance?”  

“You cannot!” you exclaim tartly, appalled to think that was what he was planning on doing. “You cannot even speak to me in front of them. I forbid it .” 

“You forbid your prince?” 

“Yes , Maris hates me enough as it is and, if you consider yourself my friend , you will do no more harm between us.” 

At that, you try to leave, feeling you have already spent far too long with the most conspicuous man in the room, but his hand slides to your waist, holding you still. 

“Do you consider yourself my friend?” he asks, and you cannot think of anything more dangerous than friendship with a dragon, but you’d say anything to placate him. 

“We can be friends if you stay away from me.”  

He snorts, “that's a strange recipe for friendship, would you not say?” 

“Not if the friendship is already strange,” you retort before pulling away from his grasp and heading straight towards your family, only to be intercepted by Lord Boremund before you can even make it five paces. 

“Little cousin,” he says, taking your hand, “please allow me the honour of your first dance this evening.” 

You accept, glad to be away from Maris for as long as possible and surprised when Ser Robin asks for your next dance, then Lord Thorne for your third.  

It seemed Aemond had not only allowed Tyland Lannister to resume the pursuit of your hand, but half of court too. Yet, like Tyland Lannister, it only made these men seem both spineless and fickle. 

Were they all afraid of a dragon?   

So, instead of feeling pleased to be dancing with them, you find yourself feeling increasingly annoyed, and you’re not the only one. 

Throughout every turn you make around the floor, you see Aemond pacing the edges like a caged animal and three dances is all it takes before he breaks. 

He strides fast, unconcerned by the movement swirling to avoid him, and you watch his every step with both heart pounding surprise and gut-wrenching exasperation, as he sweeps into Lord Thorne’s place and steals your hand without a single word to the other man.  

“What are you doing?” You hiss under your breath, extremely conscious of the scene he is creating.  

“It seems I cannot be your friend, ” he retorts, but you hardly hear him, you’re too busy looking around. Pleased to see that people are not pointing or staring, and the dance is continuing as though nothing is amiss.  

It’s only Lord Thorne who looks out of place, his cheeks flushed with anger, his steps faltering as he tries to move around the other couples.  

At this point, you think it might actually draw more attention if you stop dancing, but that doesn’t mean you have to be happy about the situation. You’re so mad at Aemond, you could stamp on his stupid foot. 

“You could have at least waited for the next dance,” you scold, knowing you would have rejected his offer, if he had actually asked.  

“I want all your dances, including this one,” he says, leading you into a turn and when you’re facing him again, you glare, ensuring he knows that, despite your current actions, you’re still very much annoyed. 

“And you think nothing of what I want?” you say. It was not half an hour since you’d told him not to speak with you, let alone dance with you. Yet here you were, in his arms. 

“Would you rather dance with them instead of me ?” 

Words stick on your tongue, and you're glad for another turn, so you can think of an answer, because you can’t exactly tell him ‘no’ .  

You wouldn’t rather dance with them.  

Lord Boremund was your cousin, Ser Robin was far too tall, and Lord Thorne was perfectly fine and perfectly handsome, except his touch did not set your skin ablaze as Aemond’s did.  

You face him again, and you must say something, so you think of propriety and all the rules which had been drummed into your head since you were old enough to walk. “As an unmarried lady, I shall not be obliged to give special treatment to anyone, even his grace.” 

“Then marry me.” 

What?  

You’re so surprised, you can’t help but laugh, your mind spinning, your cheeks heating beyond reason. “ Be serious, ” you say, almost choking on the words as they splutter from your lips. 

“I am,” he replies with a low voice, and he isn’t joking. He’s waiting, wanting, but you cannot possibly give him the answer he craves. 

You cannot even speak as he draws you in, holding you far closer than any man should in a room full of people. One hand on your lower back, the other brushing the length of your arm before he curls his fingers into yours.  

If there had been butterflies in the library, there are dragons now. Hatching carelessly in the pit of your stomach. Hot and dangerous, long wings reaching to the very tips of your toes until you feel flimsy in his sturdy embrace. 

You open your mouth, but there are no words, and what’s left is far worse than any words could ever be. You hate the sound which pants breathlessly from your lips, soft, submissive , welcoming his advances wholeheartedly.  

If you didn’t know any better, you’d say you were enjoying this. But you’re not. You don’t want him. Not as a friend, not as a husband.  

Yet your eyes still graze his lips, and you find yourself wondering, for the second time in a single evening, what it would be like to be kissed by him. 

"Marry me, Lady Baratheon,” he says again, and you both miss a step in the dance, almost colliding with another couple, before you regain control of your senses and wedge your free hand between your chest and his. 

Gods. You cannot meet his eye.  

“You do not dance well enough for me to condemn myself to marriage,” you whisper, your voice strained, before you force another laugh to break the tension. 

If he’s disappointed, he doesn’t show it, his tone is still light, playful even. “Is it marriage you disapprove of, or your prince?”  

You breathe out another shaky breath, but your voice is a little stronger when you say, “I do not disapprove of marriage. ” Only dragons.  

Aemond’s huff of amusement is light, meant only for your ears, and you’re grateful when the dance requires you to break from his arms and weave between the other partners. 

Inhaling a lung full of air, you’re certain not to let him reel you in again. Instead, you hold yourself rigid, your palm pressed against his chest to prevent any further encroachment into the battlements you’re trying desperately to defend. 

“Now behave yourself or I shall be forced to return to my room, for yet another evening,” you warn, daring to meet his eye. 

“Good ,” he smiles triumphantly, seeming to enjoy the way you’re struggling to hold him at bay, “I shall meet you there.” 

“With the guard outside the door?” you say hotly, imagining the look on Ser Maurin’s face if Aemond tried to waltz into your room without a chaperone. 

He leans in harder, forcing your arm to cave against his strength, “I shall climb in through the window.” 

When you turn again, you jab his rib, not too hard but hard enough to make him wince and remind him how difficult climbing would be with such an injury, “I think not , and in any case, I shall bolt it to be certain.” 

He chuckles and, though you’re not looking at him, you can picture just how smug his smile must be as he says, “you imagine a bolt across a window could stop me?” 

“No ,” you glance back to meet his eye, “but I’d hope his grace would not force himself into someone’s company if they had asked him to stop .” 

The music finishes before he can reply, and all the other couples break away with bows and curtsies to find someone new. 

But not you and Aemond. Aemond wants all your dances, and he does not relinquish control of your hand despite your efforts. He holds it tight, possessive, and you can feel as people begin to stare.  

“I shall scream if you do not let me go this instant,” you hiss under your breath, trying to remain composed. 

His jaw tightens, frustration seeming to cling to every muscle in his body just as he loosens his grip, sliding his hand behind his back so his stance is as formal as it is unyielding. 

When you turn to leave, you notice Maris who’s been staring at the whole scene with daggers instead of eyes.  

“If you truly care about me at all,” you begin, purposely avoiding his gaze, “you will ask someone else to dance this instant or I fear Maris will never forgive me.” 

Aemond snorts, “when you are here and she is in Storms End, it will not matter what she thinks.” 

“It matters to me!” you say, a little too loudly, but you’re so painfully annoyed with him that you can hardly be expected to contain your temper, “not that you seem to think of anything but your own selfish desires.” 

When you walk away, you feel him step to follow before he hesitates and turns on his heel to walk in the opposite direction.  

Not that you dare to look back or feel any relief that he has not followed you, you’re too anxious for that.  

Instead, you make it to where your sisters are standing with Belis, and Maris laughs as she says, “it seems Prince Aemond is pitying all the wallflowers with a dance this evening.” 

Then you do look at him and, just as you’d asked, he’s escorting another to the floor. Lady Staunten, who’d not danced all summer and seemed more terrified than pleased to be in his company. 

“Shall we take a turn of the room?” Cassandra offers with a warm smile and you’re grateful for another opportunity to leave Maris’ bad mood behind. 

“Did you ask him about the dress?” she says, when you are far enough away from the others and, quite honestly, you’d forgotten about the dress altogether.  

But you don’t say that, or anything, you’re too distracted, craning your neck to watch Aemond as he moves methodically across the floor, as though the dance holds no joy, only steps.  

Did he really just ask you to marry him?  

It was such a surprise, it felt like you could have imagined the whole thing. In fact, you wish you had imagined it. Then you wouldn’t have to think about it, and you were quite certain you could think of little else. 

It wasn’t every day a man asked you such a question- o r ever. But you couldn’t be entirely sure of Aemond’s motives. Did he truly want marriage and all that it entailed, or was it just another hot-headed impulse?  

Though you suppose none of that really mattered, since there were no circumstances in which you would agree to be his wife. Even if he wasn’t the most arrogant man in the world, he was still a Targaryen, and they were a strange family with even stranger proclivities.  

Yet, by the time you’ve walked an entire circle of the room, he’s asking another wallflower to dance, and you feel the unmistakable claw of envy, scratching at your skin. 

You turn away, wanting to forget about him but there was really no forgetting Aemond Targaryen. 

There wasn’t even safety in the bosom of your family. There was Alicent, talking to your mother with a coy smile and, for one heart stopping moment, you wonder if she knows . If they both know. 

Because marriage would not be a choice if your mother was involved. There would be no question about it, you’d be given to the crown without a single thought for your wishes, and that would be that .  

“Ah, Lady Baratheon,” Alicent says, noticing the way you’re lingering in her periphery.  

You curtsy politely, heart pounding as she waves her hand to beckon you closer.   

“We were just discussing how pleasant it would be to enjoy the last days of summer with a picnic in the Kingswood. Do you ride?”  

“Yes ." You even enjoyed it under usual circumstances.  

"Good,” she laughs, the curls in her hair bouncing with the movement, “there is not much room in the wheelhouse for so many ladies and the fresh air will give you vigour.”  

You start, thinking your mother might have something to say about the suggestion but she’s nodding along with the Queen. “You mean for me to ride all the way to the Kingswood?” you confirm, thinking it an unlikely ask for a high borne lady. 

“I’m sure one of the men will keep you company,” Alicent says as though it's the most natural thing in the world. But what she means is, Aemond will keep you company . 

Without thinking, you turn to look at him, annoyed that you cannot seem to retain autonomy over your own gaze, which seems intent to seek him out despite your wishes. 

When you turn back to look at Alicent, her smile reminds you so much of her son that you almost tell her to hell with the Kingswood and to hell with Aemond. But you’re sure your mother would have some choice words if you humiliated her in front of the Queen. 

So, you return her smile, thanking The Seven that Alicent has no idea her son just asked you to marry him. But she’s expecting it, you can see it on her face.  

What had Aemond said in the library? 

That she would finally think he was consenting to giving her a grandchild. Well, you aren’t consenting. As far as you were concerned, you had two older sisters and it was only proper that they should marry first. 

~~~

Thank you for reading!

#aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond fanfiction #aemond one eye #hotd aemond #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon #ewan mitchell #romance #female reader #enemies to lovers #aemond targaryen x oc #prince aemond #slow burn

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet p.6 (ellie’s journals)

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: a significantly different writing voice! this is going to be a very different vibe from the other chapters since i had to write it as i imagine ellie would (which is a lot different than i do). slight nsfw content (mdni), language, mentions of violence/gore, angst, ellie’s pov is actually really depressing

a/n: soooo i know it’s been almost 3 months...and i’m really sorry about that! a lot of stuff happened in my life and i kind of fell off writing for quite some time. but i finish series, so i’m going to get through exoplanet in its entirety so i can finally give you all closure. some preliminary notes: know that these are modeled after how i imagine ellie would journal if she did journal this much. canonically she didn’t do that much writing that follows a narrative like it does here. i think it’s honestly a little ooc for her to be emotionally responsible enough to talk out her feelings, but given that there’s no other way to tell her side of the story (save for legit rewriting it from her perspective, which would take another 6 months or so and be horrifically repetitive), i decided to just suck it up and write it. i’m sorry if it sounds awkward, since she definitely doesn’t write in a voice that i have much experience with. the next chapter will be better!

word count: 5.5k

tags~ @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl​ @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28

(i haven’t updated this yet bc my tags aren’t working)

a special special SPECIAL thanks to both @roarriita and @elliesflower​ for being soooo sexy and betaing for me. you both are so wonderful and helped me sm in feeling good enough to post this :)

without further ado, enjoy ellie’s journals!

January 20th, 2038

Today’s been…fucking…

I don’t even know where to start. I don’t get why this sort of shit always happens to me. First it was being bit and somehow surviving. Then it was getting carted off across the country. And now some girl basically falls out of the sky, claiming that she comes from some sort of paradise up North?

I’ll spare the immediate details. I don’t think I’ll forget the basic stuff—her name, the way she looked clutching at her knees in the clearing and shaking. That stupid shirt she had on and that expensive scarf.

I still want to believe that she’s just a liar who happened to get lucky with running into us, but even without Joel vouching for her story, I don’t think I’d ever be able to buy that she’d been living in the same world as us. I’ve never met someone without scars before. I didn’t know that there were people out there who didn’t have marked up arms and faces. Or people without calluses. Did you know that hands can be totally smooth?

Anyway. Tommy says that he’ll try and reach out across the contacts he has. Joel has her living right down the hall from me in the meantime, so now I have to share my bathroom. Hopefully the Terranovan authorities are good at finding people. She takes so fucking long to shower. It’s a wonder the whole compound still has hot water.

[One page of drawings follows: Dina smiling in the snow on her horse, Joel playing his guitar]

January 25th, 2038

Maria says that they’re thinking about breeding Shimmer soon. I know she told me because that means I’ll need to ride another horse for a little until she recovers and I know that we need another generation of foals, but it still made me cringe for Shimmer’s sake. She’s too free-spirited to be a mother. She doesn’t deserve that.

I went stargazing last night. It was pretty. Lots of shooting stars. I ran into the girl while I was coming back from the meadow. She gave me a weird look, and I could tell she wanted to ask me where I’d been but kept her mouth shut. Sometimes I regret dropping off that bag of clothes. I really fucking liked that gray sweatshirt, actually. I’m not even joking. It looks weird to see it on someone else.

[Half a page of drawing follows of the night sky with labeled constellations]

February 5th, 2038

Long time no see. I’ve been pretty busy with patrols and helping Maria with securing the walls. Joel made me try some of that coffee that our new house guest brought. It was just as awful as I remembered, but he seemed happy. So one point for the space girl. I guess.

Dina’s been hanging around more. She just broke up with Jessie (yes, again). She swears that it’s for good this time, but I’m not so sure. She also talks a lot about Y/N and what little detail she’s gathered about her life back in Terranova. I thought teasing her by asking her if she had a crush on Y/N would make her talk less about it, but it just made things worse.

I miss when things were normal.

[One page of drawings follows: one of Shimmer in cross-ties, another of a girl’s face, half-finished with the face scribbled out]

February 12th, 2038

Today I’m sad. I’m in bed with that book about astronomy that Joel nabbed for me on patrol a while ago and there’s a section I wanted to read that’s completely waterlogged. It shouldn't be a surprise. It’s decades old and has survived through an apocalypse. Normally things like this don’t bug me much because I’m so used to it. Half of my Savage Starlight collection is damaged. I don’t think I’ll ever find the first book to actually complete the series, and that’s okay, because I’ve never expected anything more. But now that I know that there’s a world out there where I’d never have problems like this, stuff like this hurts. It’s so stupid. I’m lucky to be alive. Compared to what’s left of the world population, I live a much cushier life than most. But for the first time in a while, I’m wishing for more.  

“Greed is the enemy of happiness” is what Maria would say if I ever said this kind of shit out loud. But is it really? Or is it just realizing what life can be?

[Half a page of a drawing of the solar system, with each planet labeled]

February 22nd, 2038

Maria let me pick the sire for Shimmer’s foal. It felt kind of gross, to be honest. I asked Maria if there was any way for Shimmer to choose and I was only sort of joking, but she just laughed anyway and patted my back. I won’t have to worry about finding a new horse for another two seasons or so, she told me. It’ll be weird not having her for a little.

She also told me that there was still no word from anyone who knew anything about Terranova. She said this to me in this placating voice, like she thought that I was going to punch a hole in the wall or something after hearing it. That seems to be common when it comes to people talking about Y/N and me. I don’t know why so many people think I don’t like her staying with us.

I don’t, by the way. Let me be clear. But I mostly feel indifferent about her now. She doesn’t bother me as much anymore, not since she started getting out of the house. I think she might be helping in the gardens, but I’ve never actually asked. We don’t talk a whole ton. I don’t think she likes me all that much.

[A drawing of Shimmer’s head poking over her stall door that takes up one page]

March 2nd, 2038

Today was finally our first nice day of the year. I would’ve enjoyed it more if the bird that lives in the tree outside my window hadn’t blown me out of bed at 4 in the fucking morning. I’m exhausted now. It’s been a long day. Joel says I need to take Y/N out on patrol soon. Why, I have no idea. Maybe he just wants me to actually befriend her or something, and I do nothing but patrols now. He can’t possibly expect her to be a good patrol partner.

Thankfully, I checked the logs when I came back. The route he wants me to cover with her has been the quietest all season. I doubt we’ll run into anything. If we do, I’ll probably be able to handle it. Hopefully.

[Half a page of doodles, mostly of nature and wildlife with the exception of a half-finished doodle of an arm clad in a fabric that drapes like silk and a hand with polished nails]

March 3rd, 2038

Many surprising things were learned today. I can’t believe it’s illegal to be gay in Terranova. Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. It’s just—out of all the things they could be bothered by, it’s that? Really?

March 12th, 2038

I haven’t been good at journaling recently. I don’t really want to talk about why. You know why.

[Six pages of drawings, with many unfinished doodles of Y/N—including but not limited to her on her horse, her reading on the couch, and one with her sitting in what is a very loose interpretation of a classroom, taking notes]

March 13th, 2038

I will feel more normal tomorrow. Hopefully.

[Two pages of drawings, all of Y/N. One is her bent over a book, the other is her smiling up at you]

March 14th, 2038

I did something really stupid. I think I should probably just document this here so I don’t accidentally drunkenly spill it all out to Dina at the next bonfire. This is so embarrassing. I don’t get why I feel this way. It’s so stupid, you know? To feel anything towards someone who’s so…I don’t know. Different.

She gives me the weirdest looks sometimes. I can’t tell what they mean. It feels like she’s judging me. And why wouldn’t she be? I bet all the girls she spends her time around back home are just like her—perfect, orderly, pretty, proper. The day before I took her patrolling she gawked at the shorts I was wearing. It was borderline offensive. Actually, fuck that. It wasn’t borderline. It was offensive. You don’t just stare at people like that. She should know that.

Anyway, I invited her over to my room last night. Normal, right? Because we’ve been doing that a little since I took her on patrol, by the way. I’m not sure if I mentioned that before. But this time I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m…I don’t know. Creepy? Strange? Scary? She told me that she thought I was intimidating. And then I called her “untouched”, like how some old-timer devout Christian wackjob or whatever would describe virginity. It was so fucking weird of me. I don’t know what got into me, but she kept doing this thing where she kicked my foot with hers or touched my knee and it just threw me off. It took me forever to fall asleep last night—I kept replaying what I’d said to her, especially how I’d told her that she wouldn’t have made it if she were me like I was some sort of hardcore survivalist. I think I embarrassed her. I’m never doing anything like this again. I’m going to be dead sober every time I see her from now on.

I’ll stop talking about that. Y/N did come back after I’d made a fool of myself and showed me her collection of movies, so maybe it wasn’t so bad. I haven’t watched any movies since I was with Cat. When we first started dating, I’d invite her over and she’d sit right where Y/N did last night. I’m trying to not think of the implications, because it’s space girl, and she’s going home sometime soon.

[Three pages of drawings follow—some nature drawings of ferns and moths, others of Y/N with wet hair, her knees tucked up to her chin like she’d been in Ellie’s bed that night]

March 19th, 2038

It’s the Spring Equinox. That’s the first thing Y/N told me this morning when she saw me in the kitchen this morning. She gave me a mini lecture on what that meant for the planet’s axis tilt and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I already knew, since she seemed really excited to tell me.

I made a horrible discovery yesterday, by the way. Maria came up to me and told me that Tommy had decided to reach out to some of his other buddies up North to see if they had any connections to Terranova, and for the first time, I felt myself hoping that it wouldn’t work.

It’s awful. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Even in Jackson, where things are comparatively much better than the rest of the world, there’s risk. Just this winter, one family had to be kicked out when they were found hiding an infected son. No one here is completely safe, just safer. I shouldn’t be selfish. Y/N needs to go where she’s meant to be, where there’s no chance of infection or invasion. I’ll be fine. I just need to get over whatever this is.

Speaking of her, I need to go get her to tell her that we’re heading out on patrol in just a few minutes. Fingers crossed she doesn’t accidentally shoot me, but Joel swore up and down that she knows how to handle a gun now. Sure. Haha.

I’m back. It’s the middle of the night and she only just left my room. I don’t know how much detail I need to go into—chances are I won’t forget this. But for bookkeeping purposes: patrol did not go so hot. I had to give her stitches without any local anesthesia. I’ve never given stitches to anyone nearly in my lap before. I was really nervous, too. I don’t think I’ve ever had to focus so much on keeping my hands steady when it came to stitching someone up before, not even with Joel.

I’m starting to think that maybe I was wrong about thinking that she didn’t like me. I still can’t tell exactly what she thinks of me, and I know that it’s a really bad fucking idea to be entertaining thoughts like these, but tonight she did something that made me reconsider. She got under the covers with me, and instead of moving away to keep us from touching, she rested her head next to mine on the pillow.

I hope she couldn’t hear how much my heart was racing. People can’t hear that kind of stuff, right? Even if they’re close?

I’m being ridiculous. There’s no way she—No. She doesn’t see me like that.

March 21st, 2038

She rested her head on my shoulder today. I don’t know what to think of it. If she was normal and grew up like the rest of us did, I would know exactly what to think. But she’s not normal, and it’s not fair of me to treat her like she is. Maybe this is, like, a culturally acceptable thing back from where she grew up. Maybe rich people just cuddle each other all the time. I wouldn’t fucking know, and unfortunately no one in this godforsaken town can help, because there’s a distinct lack of what Maria calls the “bourgeoisie”. They’re all either dead or back where Y/N grew up, doing whatever rich snobs do.

Even if it is normal for her, I feel like I can’t stop analyzing everything she does. She seems more nervous around me than she does anyone else, but she lingers like she can’t help herself. I’ve noticed that she stumbles over her words and touches me much more than is really necessary. Or at least I think she does—maybe I’m just imagining things.

But even if it means what I think it does, I can’t let myself think like this. It’s not fair to her. No one deserves to live here if they have the choice. At least the people out here know how to handle it. She doesn’t, and I don’t want her to turn into the type of person who does.

When I stitched her up and teased her about being weak and sensitive, I think she thought I was insulting her. I try not to think about it, but if I let myself wallow too much, I’ll wonder what kind of person I’d be if I wasn’t so jaded. Maybe I’d draw more, or read more, or write more. Maybe I’d be an easier person to love. I didn’t get to choose how I turned out. It just happened to me.

So if she has the choice, I’m going to do everything I can to help her make the right one. I don’t want her to be like this.

March 29th, 2038

I had a dream about Riley last night. I haven’t had one of those in years, not since I was traveling with Joel. We were back in the mall, and Riley had just turned the lights on as a surprise. I had this feeling then, like I was being given a second chance. That I could set things straight and do what was right. I woke up before I could insist that we leave.

[A drawing takes up half of the next page. It’s a crude depiction of the mall Riley turned in.]

April 4th, 2038

It’s the middle of the night again. I can’t sleep. I’m so disappointed with myself about what I did tonight with Y/N. At the time, it seemed like a really good idea. She likes me back, apparently. I was right about everything that I wrote about earlier, I guess. But it certainly doesn’t feel like I thought it would.

It’s not like there’s no part of me that isn’t thrilled that she feels the same way. That’s why I gave in and slept with her. But even when she told me how she felt, even before I completely lost my self-control, something heavy was already hanging over me. Regret, maybe. Or guilt. I don’t know. What I do know is that this can’t last. I can’t make this good for her like I want to. She needs to go back, and she needs to be able to feel like she can make that choice without feeling like she’s leaving anything good behind.

I’m not a spiritual person. but even so, I can’t help but feel like that dream of Riley was a sign. This is my second chance. I’m not going to fuck it up this time. I’ve already been an accomplice of so much suffering. Y/N is going home, and I’ll never see her again when she does. That’s that.

It took all I had left in me in the end to kick her out. She looked so hurt, and the fact that she tried to hide it made it even worse. I wish I could tell her why this can’t work, but I don’t think she’d understand.

[A drawing of Y/N kissing Ellie’s palm follows, her hair slightly mussed]

April 6th, 2038

I need to stop making rash decisions like knocking on her door late at night and asking her to come over. I really don’t know what’s gotten into me, because whenever I see her now, I can’t help but freeze up. Like last night, when she kissed me and touched my face and told me she thought I was a good person. I panicked and told her—well, nevermind. I don’t really want to repeat it here. It was mean, but I didn’t know what else I could do to get her to stop.

She was already tearing up by the time she left. I had to sit down and breathe deeply for a few minutes before I was sure I wasn’t going to be sick. I don’t really think I want to write more about this right now. It just makes me sad how unfair this all is. Of course the one time after Cat that I meet someone I really like it just has to be in one of the cruelest scenarios possible. I just have no idea what to do.

[Five pages of drawings follow of Y/N in bed, her head tilted back against the pillow, her eye’s half lidded, and her mouth slightly agape. Ellie redraws this multiple times, x-ing out parts that don’t seem quite right]

April 10th, 2038

I know this is none of my business, but she’s been spending a lot of time with Dina lately. She nearly got herself killed getting a gift for me with Dina yesterday, which feels like some sort of especially cruel joke. The universe isn’t being very fucking subtle right now.

If what I’m worried about is right, at least Dina has the option to come with her up North. She’d test negative.

April 20th, 2038

I would really like it if I could have one short break from the misery that’s my life right now. I turned 20 yesterday, accidentally introduced Y/N to my ex, proceeded to get much drunker than I meant to, completely fell off my rocker and asked Y/N to stay the night, and then discovered this morning that not only has Terranova found Y/N but that my strategy of keeping Y/N at arm’s length completely failed.

She wants me to come with her, and she’s threatening to stay here otherwise. I did the only thing that I could think to do and snapped at her.

I’m so tired of this. I hate having to act like I don’t care. This is the third time now that I’ve had to say something nasty to her to keep her from getting too close. I just want to get in bed and sleep until she leaves and I can pretend like nothing ever happened and that everything is normal.

[One page of drawings of Y/N passed out in her bed and Y/N grinning while holding a lopsided cake]

April 28th, 2038

I know I haven’t been writing much again. Sorry about that. I just can’t bear to think about my life right now. I know I should be relieved—this is what I wanted. I wanted her to go where it’s best for her.

But there’s still that selfish part of me that keeps me up at night. Y/N is going to leave this place never knowing how I feel about her. Logically, that should be what I want. This way I won’t need to say a real goodbye. I know I won’t need to now, since she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. It’s really fucking immature of me to be so hurt by what she must think of me now, but I can’t stop.

I wonder how long it will take for me to stop feeling sad about this. I’ve never had to process anything like this where there’s nothing I can do. With Riley and Sam, I at least got to heal from the knowledge that I was going to help make the vaccine to save the world. But losing Y/N just because of where we come from is totally meaningless. I can go forward knowing that I made it easy for her to make the right decision, but that only goes so far.

I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. I’m going to practically live with Dina so I don’t need to be alone for the first few weeks.

I wish May 8th would just come already so she can go away and I can get on with my life.

May 1st, 2038

Things have changed some. Joel cornered me in the kitchen last night and told me that I needed to grow up and just appreciate the rest of the time I had left with Y/N. I was going to agree and try to walk past him, but he stopped me and told me that he needed me to escort Y/N. I guess he’s right. She can’t go alone, and Joel and Tommy are getting a little too old for week-long expeditions into the wilderness.

He also told me that I need to apologize to her and make things right, saying shit like I’d regret it forever if things ended between us like this. I don’t want to admit it, but I think he’s right. When I told him that she’d originally threatened to stay if I didn’t go with her, he blinked, hard. Then he told me that he had an idea.

I’m faking it. I’m telling her that I’m going, even though I’m going to leave her when she gets picked up. I don’t know how I’m going to pull it off. When I told her in the meadow last night, she was so happy. I know it’s really sappy and cliche to say this, but I felt my heart shatter, bit by bit. I’m not a very good liar, not to people who are important to me. But I suppose I’ve been lying to her all this time, kicking her out of my room and telling her that I didn’t want anything more with her.

I can do this, I think. I have to do this, or else she might threaten to stay, and I don’t think I have it in me to be cruel again. Not to her. I guess I’ll just trick myself into feeling like I’m actually coming with her, like we have a chance of actually being together. I don’t know. We’ll see.

[One drawing of Y/N laying down in the meadow that takes up half a page]

May 3rd, 2038

It’s easier than I expected. Y/N sleeps over in my room at night, and if I don’t think too hard about it, I can pretend like things will always be like this.

I’m getting to be such a sap, though. I almost broke down in the bathroom today while I was getting ready. It was over the stupidest thing—a toothpaste bottle. Y/N always folds it so neatly, making a perfect, tight spiral of plastic near the end. It used to really bother me when I first had to share with her (because who does that—it’s weird and doesn’t do anything since she doesn’t manage to squeeze out the extra in the bottom anyways), but the thought of throwing it out when it finally emptied and having to find another one that’ll never be folded again hit me and suddenly I was counting my inhales and exhales. I don’t really give a shit about toothpaste. It’s just that it was the moment that I realized that she’s really going to be gone soon, you know? Slowly but surely, the evidence of her stay here will be wiped away and replaced. Someday I’ll forget all the little details about her.

She’s knocking on my door. I need to stop being so depressed and go see her before she picks up that something’s wrong.

[One small doodle of Y/N smiling and rolling her eyes while brushing her teeth]

May 6th, 2038

Dina’s coming now. Y/N told me this morning after she went to say goodbye. I feel really shitty about this. I guess I should tell her that I’m not going now, because this way Y/N needs to go home to get Dina the help she needs, but I just can’t bring myself to. I’ll have to escort both of them to the pickup spot anyway since Dina’s weaker now that she’s pregnant, and the thought of having to spend a full week with Y/N after she knew I lied to her makes my skin crawl. I can’t tell who I’m trying to protect by doing this—me or her. Maybe both.

I’m losing my two favorite people here, and they don’t even know it yet. But this is the best option. This is my chance to finally do some good in the world.

May 7th, 2038

I’m about to go stargazing with Y/N for the last time. I don’t think I’ll be writing in here again until I get back. I don’t want to risk losing this while I’m out in case something crazy happens. Which it probably will, but I canonically happen to be really good at living when shit hits the fan. Also—I don’t imagine Y/N to be a particularly nosy person, but if she ever came across this and thought it was a book or something, it would make things really awkward. So, you’re staying tucked carefully under my bed until I come back later this month.

I don’t know how to handle this sort of goodbye. I don’t really know how to handle any sort of goodbye, I guess, but at least I’ve been through them before. I may not do it well, but I know how to live when people I love die. But this isn’t like that. No one is dying (hopefully), and more importantly, I know it’s a goodbye this time. I see it coming on the horizon and I can’t even tell anyone about it. How does anyone deal with that? How does anyone cope?

Y/N’s knocking on my door now. I need to go before I start thinking even more and do something stupid like start crying or whatever.

I’ll be back in about two weeks.

June 1st, 2038

Sorry for not writing. It’s been pretty shitty, actually. It took me 5 extra days to get home because some scavengers gave me trouble. I hardly slept for most of them. I ran out of ammo about 4 days out and had to use my knife for everything I ran into until I was able to raid the cabinets of this abandoned cabin. Nearly got taken out by a clicker, too. It was not fun. It was especially not fun because I was not feeling super great to begin with, for obvious reasons.

Things haven’t gotten any better since getting back to Jackson. Y/N didn’t take her stupid Exoplanetary Systems textbook and now I’m struggling with whether or not I should throw it out. The rational side of me says to keep it because it was published after the outbreak and probably contains updated information that isn’t anywhere else. The rest of me doesn’t even want to look at the stars anymore because it reminds me of her.

It’s really hard not to blame her for ruining everything. I can’t go out and ride my own horse without thinking about the first time we went on patrol together and she dropped my gun and nearly killed one of us. And I can’t even relax in my own home, because I’ve spent almost every night with her since March in my bed. Sometimes when I hear a creak in the middle of the night I assume it’s her walking down to the bathroom or getting water until it hits me again that she’s never coming back.

I know I’m being melodramatic. There are many other worse problems I could be having right now. But I don’t even have my best friend anymore. I wonder if Dina and Y/N are angry with me for lying. I wonder if they’re settling in okay. I hope that Y/N manages to fix whatever her research was and that Dina gets better.

[Twenty pages of drawings of Y/N and Dina together. Some are snippets of them on their expedition to the pickup site. Others are pictures of Y/N and Dina walking around with smiles on their faces in what looks to be a city]

June 21st, 2038

It’s been over a month since I’ve last seen her. I had a breakdown while getting ready for bed when I realized that I didn’t remember what her voice sounded like anymore.

[Ten pages of half-finished drawings, each with its face scribbled over]

June 28th, 2038

I don’t think I really remember what she looks like—not exactly. I’ve been trying to draw her because I’m still in the habit of making decisions that are definitely not good for my mental state. I just can’t do it, and it isn’t for the lack of trying. Every time I get to her eyes I keep drawing something that looks wrong, but I can never tell why. I compare it to my earlier drawings of her from when we first met and it feels like meeting her for the first time again.

Joel says it’ll pass and that he’s proud of me for doing the right thing. Jessie and I have been hanging out more. Even if he won’t admit it, I can tell he’s miserable without Dina. But he understands why she had to go—just like how I feel about Y/N. And Dina too, of course. Jackson feels like a ghost town without her.

July 17th, 2038

I haven’t been writing or drawing in here for a while, I know. I was going to just go ahead and start a new journal—you know the one that Maria gave me for Christmas with the dark blue cover—but it didn’t feel right to just stop without explaining. Otherwise I’ll feel like an asshole for wasting so much paper.

I don’t want to move on from what happened with Y/N and Dina. I really don’t, but I don't think I have a choice. If I keep going on like this, I’ll never be able to live normally again. I’m just sick and tired of being sad all of the time. So I’m not going to write here anymore. I don’t think it’s realistic for me to forget all about it, because I don’t want to forget her. Not really. But I guess if I want to get better, I’ll need something different. So, here’s that. The beginning of my fresh start. “Fresh start” and you call me overdramatic!! haha. Y/N was here!

(You left this on your nightstand. I promise I didn’t read too much. I opened it because I thought it was your sketchbook. I’m going to put this back since I hear you walking down the hall now.)

ok as an aside my blog is broken so my stuff isn’t notifying people when i tag/showing up on dashes or in tags. please reblog if you’re comfortable so people can actually find this! thank you!

final a/n: i totally get it if this wasn’t quite your cup of tea this time—i just really wanted to iron out ellie’s pov before their reunion in the end. which is happening and not a spoiler because i have always promised a hea! this was a change in pace for the story and i promise you that the next chapter will be more normal/align more with my normal writing style. i have also changed my mind (probably) and have decided to stick with writing an epilogue! so two more chapters are coming before this is totally over. thank you so much for waiting and being so patient! i love you all dearly ok bye bye now

#ellie williams x reader #exoplanet #not adding tags because i’ll eventually repost #this is just for people who want to read!

[beansterpie]

K I threw together a translation for the new es21 anniversary chapter! There's probably mistakes and some awkward phrasing because I always end up prioritizing accuracy over flow rip. Hopefully the way I've formatted this isn't a total pain to read. I recommend looking at the page first, and then referring to the translation when you can't read something. I skipped any panels that don't have dialogue/text so just reading the translations might be confusing. Anyway it's under the cut!

(Lol sorry I didn't bother translating character blurbs on the right)

Page 1 Panel 1: Announcer: “Noooooww, there’s barely any time left on the clock! This final play will decide the outcome of the match!!” Panel 2: “One of these teams will command the University American Football World!! Panel 3: Which one will it be!? Panel 4: Two star players who once fought together now face off— Panel 5: in this Final Decisive Match”

Page 2-3 Panel 1: Eyeshield 21 aka: Kobayakawa Sena!! VS. The Commander from Hell: Hiruma Yoichi!! Panel 2: Set, Hut!!!

Cover page (4-5): Their First Collision!! Sena [Eyeshield 21] and Hiruma [the one who named him (literally the ‘parent’ who named him)]—

Page 6 Panel 1: [Some months earlier—] Panel 3: DEVILBAT GHOST!!

Page 7 Panel 1: TRIDENT TACKLE!!!

Page 8-9 Panel 1: The ball was fumbled!! Whichever team manages to claim it will win….!! Panel 2: [An American Football rule you can understand in 1 SECOND] Devilbat: YA—HA— It’s stupidly simple! Carry the ball to the enemy line and score (a touchdown)! DB jr.: You can get around 7 points! Panel 4: Monta: CATCH MAX!!! Panel 5: Suzuna: YA—!!! Panel 6: Announcer: The Kanto representatives for the Japanese National American Football University Championships is the team lead by Eyeshield 21 aka. Kobayakawa Sena— the Enma Fires…..!!!!

Page 10 Panel 1: Sakuraba: You really got revenge on us this year. It’s frustrating but it was our total defeat….! Panel 2: Sena: Though, one-on-one, for the most part I couldn’t really get past you (Shin-san) until the very end… Panel 4: Shin: undecipherable Panel 6: Ootawara: OOOOHHHHH MAKE SURE YOU HIT THEM HARD ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US, KURITA—!! Panel 7: Takami: Finally, you’ve earned the right to challenge the undefeated champions Page 11 Panel 1 & 2: Takami: The championship finals against the team lead by Hiruma, the Saikyodai Wizards— at the Koushien Bowl….!!! Panel 3: Sena: Yes….!!

Page 12 Panel 4: Monta: Mukya! What the hell, we can’t get into the club room! Riku: Looks like we have a few visitors— Panel 5: Crowd: The United States President’s son?? Even SP (I believe this is a tv channel) is here… Page 13 Panel 3: Sena: T-this is way too crazy… Kurita: To clear away people like this…..

Page 14 Panel…2?: Hiruma: Kekekekeke, you’re late fucking Fatty and fucking Shrimps Panel 3: Kurita: HIRUMA! Sena: —san!! Monta: And that guy’s from the American Match, the ultimate boss… wait actually, he’s a NFL player now! Page 15 Panel 1: It’s the President’s Junior, Mr. Don….!! Panel 2: Don: An ordinary person goes to a foreign country to run rampant for their own entertainment. A champion (or king lol) goes to a foreign country to express his respect. Panel 3: Don: In this country, it seems excessive meddling from pros in the affairs of amateurs isn’t appreciated, so I’ll get straight to the heart of the matter. Panel 4: Don: Together we will fight and acquire the throne. I’ve come to welcome/receive one hero. Panel 6: Kurita: ?? Monta: What does that mean? Sena: Isn’t this excessive meddling…..

Page 16 Panel 1: Crack! Panel 2: Sena: ….?? Inside my shoulder pad… Panel 3: Sena: What is this, it’s tiny… A white chip? Monta: Ooh, it’s in our shoulder pads too!! Riku: Since when… Panel 4: Hiruma: It’s called an RFID (radio frequency identification (apparently lol)) chip. When you have this on— Panel 5: Glasses: The current location of each player can be determined and measured by inches. Stats like speed and acceleration, it can analyze all data in real time. Enma Babes (presumably): A SCI-FI MACHINE LIKE THAT EXISTS!? Page 17 Panel 1: Don: There’s nothing Sci-Fi about it. Within the NFL world, all players have been using this for a number of years now. Sena & Monta: REALLY!!? Hiruma: They even have them inside the balls. Since you can measure the rotations that way Devibat: It’s true!! DB jr.: The actual pro sports world sure is turning into something amazing! Panel 2: Riku: So, this data analysis chip… Panel 3: Riku: Why are they in our protective equipment…?? Sena: I mean, there’s only one person in this world who would be devilish enough to quietly do something like that… Panel 4: Glasses: With this hoard of collected data, and by using the help of something like Google Brain, we can rely on machine learning to— Sena: Goo… what? Machine…?? Panel 5: Don: How sad~ Oohh, AI, AI! Civilization has simply taken the human privilege of ‘thinking’, and given it up to machines.

Page 18 Panel 1: Don: Most of all, humanity’s been dulled by favoritism, politics and social correctness. Well, compared to a slow/primitive ruler, it’s (AI) infinitely more reliable. Panel 2: [For our team to reach victory, what kind of player is indispensable? The answer provided by the AI was—] Panel 3: A running back with the speed of light! Or— A phantasmagoric (look it up) quarterback! Panel 5: Glasses: International Player Pass Way Program. In short, there is one slot available for a foreign student trainee as the Japanese representative. Don: Which means that we would be receiving you into our team. Page 19 Panel 1: Kobayakawa Sena, Hiruma Yoichi: between the two of you, only one—

Page 20 Panel 3: (I believe this is some sort of form that Sena filled out about what he wants to pursue after graduation— he says after graduation he wants to become a pro American Football athlete) Panel 4: Hiruma: With my physical abilities, I won’t be able to get into the NFL the usual way. Panel 5: Hiruma: Obviously, I’ll struggle for the top even if it kills me. That’s the thing that makes it fun….! Page 21 Panel 1: Don: When I consulted the man at the top, Panther, about which one to pick— he gave me a truly straightforward answer. Panel 2: Panther: Hm? Well they’re going to have a confrontation directly in the Koshien Bowl, aren’t they? Panel 3: Panther: Sena VS. Hiruma!! We’ll just take whoever wins. Because, isn’t that American Football…!!

Page 22 Panel 1: Sena: …… this contest against Hiruma-san, I’m glad that it’s an American football match. Panel 2: Sena: If it wasn’t, there’s no way I could win against Hiruma-san, you’d bring out your blackmail book and in an instant…. Hiruma: Kekeke, seems like you understand the situation reeeeal well Panel 3: Sena: I mean, whether it’s Don-san’s AI verdict or the pro tryouts— if you put your mind to it, you could use your blackmail book to get whatever you wanted. But, Hiruma-san, when it comes to American football, you’ve always…. you’ve always— Panel 5: Toss~ Panel 6: Hiruma: Well, since I’m going to win against you and become a top pro, I don’t need this thing. Page 23 Panel 5: Sena: But, the one who’ll win is me

Page 24 Sena: I’ll go to defeat you with all my strength. So, Hiruma-san, you also— Hiruma: Kekeke, naturally Page 25 Panel 1: HANSHIN KOSHIEN STADIUM Panel 3: Kurita: Truthfully, I want to root for both of their dreams— For Sena-kun, and for Hiruma. But if I really can’t choose both—

Page 26-27 Panel 1: Kurita: FUNNURABAAA!!!!! Panel 2: Kurita: For the sake of my team, and for Sena-kun’s sake, I’ll defeat Hiruma…..!!! Panel 3: Announcer: Koshien Bowl, the final, decisive match! Against the Saikyodai Wizards, made up of all star members throughout the country— Panel 4: Announcer: Somehow!! The Enma Fires are just slightly in the lead!! Panel 5: Gaou: Fuh… Half of American football is decided by the power of the line. This is the unmatched power of Kurita when he has something to protect….!!!

Page 28 Panel 1: Announcer: Noooooww, there’s barely any time left on the clock! This final play will decide the outcome of the match!! Panel 2: Announcer: Two star players who once fought together now face off— Panel 3: Announcer: In this Final Decisive Match!! Panel 4: Announcer: Eyeshield 21 aka. Kobayakawa Sena!! Vs. The Commander from Hell, Hiruma Yoichi!! Page 29 Panel 1: Hiruma: KILL! KILL! Panel 2: Suzuna: K.I.L.L…..to kill? What’s it mean? Doburoku: In American football, it’s a sign that’s given by the pitcher. It means to completely kill the strategy that had been agreed upon. To put it simply, it’s a signal to hurriedly reset the strategy of the play. Panel 3: Mizumachi: After seeing our defense formation, looks like they want to change things up! Panel 4: Sena: Hiruma-san’s— that ever-changing adaptability’s strength—

Page 30 Panel 1: Hiruma: Kill— Panel 4: Unsui: NO!! THERE HASN’T BEEN ANY CHANGE IN HIS PLAN!! Page 31 Panel 1: Hiruma (I think): This was just a snap counter from the get go— A signal to start the play after the 4th KILL…!!! Panel 2: Enma player: Shit, even though we know what kind of guy he is! Enma player 2: He’s gonna throw a pass— Enma player 3: No, don’t let Hiruma trick you! He’s not throwing— he’s still holding it!! Panel 3: This is a run….!! Panel 5: Shit, that’s wrong, it’s a pass after all….!!!

Page 32 TOUCHDOOOOWN!!! Page 33 Panel 1: Hiruma: YA— HA—!!! Panel 2: Announcer: The final decisive battle was completely controlled by the sorcerer of the field-- Hiruma Yoichi! (there's actually a word in this line I don't understand lol, but this should be the general gist) Panel 3: Announcer: In a sudden turnabout victory, the Saikyodai Wizards win the championship—

Page 34 Panel 1: Announcer: —No, the remaining time on the clock is 1 second!! Panel 2: Hiruma: !! Taka: That was my bad. Panel 3: Taka: On the ground was Sena-kun with his light speed, and in the air Monta was closing in. I had no choice but to catch the ball one second earlier than planned. Panel 5: Unsui (presumably): — 1 second left. Whether we laugh or cry about it, this will be the final play— Page 35 Panel 1: Sena: These sort of seriously close calls… I dunno if you’d call it deja vu or— Panel 2: Monta: That’s right! This is the kind of cliff’s edge that we’ve run along a bunch of times! Panel 3: Agon: Aaaahhh? Ain’t this match already certain victory— Panel 4: Agon: —If we weren’t up against the tiny trash brigade, that is. Hiruma: Kekeke yo~~~ You also know what’s up huh, fucking dreads. Panel 6: Yamato: That’s right, all of us should know by now well enough that it hurts. Panel 7: Yamato: That there are demon-like men out there whose power explodes during dire straits like this.

Page 36 Panel 1: That there was once a miraculous team called the Devilbats— Panel 2: Hiruma: The last play will be Eyeshield 21! They’ll 100,000,000,000% comes at us with Sena’s run!! Anything else is a ruse, completely ignore it, don’t even think 1mm that it’ll be anything else!! Panel 3: Unsui: There’s only one way to go: Sena’s run. All of us will open a path!! Page 37 Panel 1 & 2: Sena’s Run, Complete Specialized All Star Team!! VS. Anti-Sena formation, Complete Specialized All Star Team!!

Page 38: — DON! Page 39 Panel 1: Announcer: Remaining time: 0 seconds! Panel 2: Announcer: With this last play, it’s game set! Panel 4: Yamabushi: Rodio Drive!! Are they coming with Riku!? Taka: No— Panel 6: Riku: Sena…!!

Page 40 Panel 3: IKKYUU…!! Panel 4: How can he reach it, to go into a cut from such a distance…..

Page 42 Panel 1: Sena: UUOOOOOOOOHH!! Panel 2: Mamori: Sena…! Panel 3: Ikkyuu: That guy’s too damn fast— I already knew that but…..!! Panel 4: Announcer: Sure enough, in the end they went with the light speed running back, Eyeshield 21!!! Page 43 Panel 1: Mizumachi: Uha! I said make way! Panel 3: Chuubou: A path for Sena-senpai….!!!

Page 44-45 Panel 3: Announcer: He’s passed everyone! At this rate it’s a touchdown—!!! Panel 4: Hiruma: Kekeke, dig out your eyeballs and give them a good wash— take another look. It’s not over. Panel 5: Kid: He’ll stand in the way— in the end, the ultimate opponent—

Page 46 Panel 1: AGON!!! Page 47 Panel 2: Shin: Sena’s Devilbat Ghost has been fully realized. Panel 3: Shin: It’s a perfect technique for a runner to get past his opponent. The Optimal Technique/Solution.

Page 48 Panel 2: vvrrrrr (vibration sounds) Panel 3: Glasses: The Optimal Solution for this situation is none other than the Devilbat Ghost. But even then, Agon who possesses inherent superhuman reaction speed will likely stop him. Panel 4: [That is the judgement the machine learning system has made based on the real time analysis from the RFID chip] Page 49 Panel 3: Shin: The essential thing you need to reach new heights, is to surpass your Optimal Technique/Solution™— with Courage™ Panel 5: Sena: That’s right— my road isn’t limited only to the two directions that I can dodge Panel 6: Shin: It relies on his light speed cuts. A third option, much like a trident. In a manner of speaking—

Page 50 Panel 1: DEVILBAT TRIDENT!!! Page 51 Panel 1: Mizumachi: You mean he might not dodge!? Riku: A headlong collision!! There’s no way… Panel 2: Glasses: It’s absolutely impossible, how reckless. There’s no chance of winning. The AI declares that this is at most a feint. In the end, Sena will definitely move to evade him! Panel 3: Hiruma: Kekeke, you’re wrong. It’s a hundred billion years too early to try getting past using that hand. Panel 4: Hiruma: But that’s why you’ll go for it. Isn’t that right, Sena. Panel 5: Agon: Aaahhh~~ Hiruma, I’ve fought with you so many times it makes me sick, so I already know all of that….!!!

Page 52 Panel 1: Hiruma ??: The Human brain hasn’t been able to compete with semiconductors for a long time. I’m sure it’ll aaaalll become like that in the future. Panel 2: Hiruma: When it comes to searching for Optimal Solutions™, no one can compete against Sir AI anymore. But— Panel 3: Shin: Beyond the Optimal Solution™ Panel 4: Beyond even the very summit— you continue to struggle with only courage at your back. Page 53 Panel 1: THAT IS WHAT AN ATHLETE IS Panel 3: ??: I’LL GO PRO AND KILL EVERYONE!! Panel 4: ??: I’LL SURPASS THE TOP!!! Panel 5: ??: That athlete will be—

Page 54-55 Panel 1: Hiruma: ME Panel 2: Sena: ME Panel 3: [He surpasses theory, with his light speed courage—!!]

#eyeshield 21 #es21 #es21 anniversary chapter #translations #my translations #?? #idk lmfao #anyway this chapter was! #i mean it sure was #there are things i like about it but also a lot of things i'm very apathetic on hfhfhff #a lot of it feels very rushed due to it just being 55 pages lol #the main matches in the series last -volumes- #AND ALSO #WHERE TF IS MUSASHI??? #WHERE IS MUSASHIII???? UH HELLO?? #high key kind of mad about it

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

On thin ice (Hockey player! Miguel O’Hara x Figure skater! Fem! Reader)

Y’all… this word count… I’m was almost gonna slept it up but decided not too. Anyways hehe. Also the last chapter is gonna be posted on Halloween at the witching hour in PST, cause Halloween chapter! so I’m excited about that lol. The usual, not proofread, Miguel might be ooc.

(Y/F/N)- Your full name.

Not much Miguel and reader interaction but what is there is worth it. Me attempting to write about sports stuff I don’t know anything about even though I promise I did attempt research. Cursing (I think tbh I can’t even remember but probably), fluff (if you squint?????), I’m giving up on these tags lmao.

Word count: 2.8k

Series Masterlist

Chapter 14: Ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? ‘Cause I always do.

—

It wasn’t entirely surprising how quickly you got everyone in your group to agree to go to the game later, although you were expecting Logan to be against the idea since he hates the sport, but apparently his want to see you and Miguel get together was stronger than his hate for hockey since he immediately agreed.

You were currently in your 4-way shared Airbnb getting ready for the hockey game, having already been kicked out of the dorms by the university despite there being a game tonight, which didn’t make sense in your opinion, but that’s neither here nor there. Usually you would usually travel back home during the breaks, but due to you and Logan participating in regionals this year, you had to stay in Nueva York, you had both decided to stay in one rather than a regular hotel since it would be cheaper, Kate and Xavier tagged along for emotional support.

“I’ve never actually attended a hockey game, what do you wear? Probably a crew neck or a hoodie right? It’s still an ice rink. Maybe I should wear school merch, ugh but the only school related jacket I have is our skating team varsity jackets.” Kate, Logan and Xavier just stayed silent as they watched you rambled on, their faces full of amusement (and from Logan just the slightest bit of annoyance) as they watched you freak out , glancing at you every once and a while as you kept pacing between the hallway bathroom and your room as you attempted to get ready for the game despite it not starting for another 3 and a half hours.

“You should have asked Miguel for one of his spare jerseys.” Logan teased as he wandered towards your doorframe and leaned against it as he watched you dump your suitcase over your bed. How the hell do you not have a red or blue jacket??

“Shut up Logan.”

“You’re overthinking this, you know.”

“What? No I’m not.” Oh, you totally overthinking this.

“He’s got you whipped.” Logan snickered, shaking his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. You in response threw a pillow in his direction, which he hit to dodge.

“You’re not funny Logan. Do you have a school sweatshirt I can borrow?” You said, releasing a deep exhale through your nose as you turn to look at him.

“I think I think I have a spear.” He replied as he picked up the pillow off the floor and tossed it on your bed. “I just don’t want Miguel trying to beat me up over you wearing my jacket.” He added as he walked over to where you were standing, stopping once he was right next to you.

“He wouldn’t, I promise. I won’t let him.”

—

“This is actually kinda fun to watch.” Xavier said to Kate, as she glanced over to you before back at the rink. The spiders were currently in the lead 2 to 1 and it was about to be the end of the first period, a little less than 6 minutes before the timer reaches zero.

“It’s totally scary though.” Kate said as she took a sip of her soda, you nodding in agreement.

“So glad I went into figure skating…” Logan muttered as his eyes widened, an almost horrified look spreading on his face, but he couldn’t look away. You would have giggled at his reaction if you didn’t feel the same way. Both sports are dangerous just in their own ways.

You turned your head as you saw Peter pass the punk to Miguel, who you believed was playing center, (you watched one of those 10 minute crash course videos on how hockey works before you came to the show because whether if you were aware of it or not, Logan was right about you being whipped already) as he was making his way closer to the goal, when one of the players on the opposite team came crashing into him back first. The other player’s elbow “accidentally” hit Miguel’s face, and Miguel was knocked back, landing against the wall as the player on the opposite side took the puck.

“What the fuck-.” You muttered under your breath in shock, cringing slightly as you watched Miguel’s hand going up to cover his mouth, his face wincing in pain, your hands going up to mirror his actions. As soon as Miguel’s hand made contact with his mouth, a timeout was called. The spider's couch went up to Miguel first, talked to him for a bit before walking over to where the referee was. You couldn’t hear anything from either interaction, so you just watched silently, ignoring your friends glances towards you, keeping your eyes on Miguel, worried written on your face. Miguel’s eyes shift around the arena, before finding yours, you can tell he’s trying not to cringe as much as soon as your eyes meet, as if he didn’t want you to see him in pain.

Once you two were looking at each other, you took your hand off your face and mouthed an “are you okay?” to which Miguel took his hand off his mouth and gave you a thumbs up and a smile, but his smile didn’t free you of your worries, in fact, it made it worse, before you could stop your body, you let out a gasp as your eyes widened. His mouth was bleeding, and it was bleeding a lot.

His expression seemed to falter a bit upon seeing your reaction, to what though you couldn’t really tell. Panic? Worry? You don’t know. Other then the initial pain he felt when the elbow made contact with his face, Miguel wasn’t really worried about his injury despite the metallic taste filling his mouth, he didn’t feel anything break or a tooth fall out, sure he’ll probably be sore from a few hours and will have to clean his mouth guard, maybe think about getting a cage instead (this wasn’t the first time someone has elbowed him in the face during a game) but he knows it’s a part of the sport, that’s what he signed up for when he started playing. So why was it that seeing the concern on your face made his chest tighten with guilt? Miguel didn’t have another time to dwell on his thoughts before his coach sent him to the locker room to clean up.

—

Miguel felt like he was going to go insane if he didn’t get the taste of blood out of his mouth. He’s already gone through 4 sticks of gum and had to refill his water bottle twice in an attempt to flesh out the coppery taste from his senses. He let out a frustrated huff of annoyance as he spat out another piece of gum and brought his water up to his mouth and took a big swig, gargling it a bit before spitting it out in a sink and finally started to make his way out, his bag with his gear slung over his shoulder as he exited the locker room. They had won the game luckily, but Miguel wasn’t as happy as he wanted to be about the victory, maybe it was because he was still mad about getting elbowed in the mouth, maybe it was because he had to be benched due to him getting injured so early in the game or maybe it’s because out of all the games he played this season, of course he got injured at the one you were attending.

Most of the team has gone home already, some stragglers were left, two of those being Miguel and Peter, and Miguel wouldn’t be surprised if you had left already, he probably would have if he was in your shoes. Maybe you got the ick from him now after watching him get hit in the face, and he would be back in square one all over again, the thought was more painful then the hit to his mouth. His mind was running a mile a minute as we made his way down the hall and towards the main exit to head to his car where Peter was most likely already waiting for him. As he walked, he was trying to keep his thoughts on his sore jaw and about the game, trying to to not think about how you saw him get hit, or how your face twisted in disgust at the sight of his bloody smile after you asked him if he alright, the embarrassment and angry he felt when after he came back from the locker room Coach Turner benched him, how-

Is that you talking to Peter in the parking lot???

“I should turn around and wait till she leaves…” he told himself under his breath, but his feet continued to move him closer to where both of you stood near Miguel’s car. Once he was a big closer Peter noticed him first, since your back was facing him, talking to him about something he couldn’t quite pick up on.

“Ah speak of the devil.” Peter said with a smirk, one you would haven’t thought much of, but Miguel knew that there was a smug undertone to it, as if he was right about something. “Sup Mig, we were just talking about you.” He continued as you turned to face him, your eyes widened for a split second as they scanned Miguel’s face, as if checking for more injuries, before you took a step closer to him, you hand instantly going to rest gently on his arm.

“Hey! Oh my god, are you okay? That hit looked brutal, god that jerk.” Miguel didn’t know if it was the way your tone and face went from concerned to annoyed as you spoke, or the way you hand went traveled from his arm to his chin, lightly gripping it and moving his face from side to side gently, mirroring his actions earlier in the day when he did the same to you after he bumped into you at lunch, but god did you make his heart burst with warmth.

“I’m okay ice princess, calm down.” Miguel assured you with a small smile, a chuckle escaping his swollen lips as he took your hand and brought it down away from his face, giving it a light squeeze as he did so. Neither of you have realized that Peter had slipped away into Miguel's car.

“Okay, okay good.” You sighed and nodded, glad to know he was relatively okay.

“Didn’t mean to get you all worried Princesa.”

You scoff, taking your hand away from him and lightly hit his chest.

“God, you always gonna say something stupid, huh?” You rolled your eyes, but your tone couldn’t hide the smile forming on your face.

“Of course I do, ice princess, how else am I supposed to annoy you?”

—

To say you were nervous was a complete understatement, you have never been more terrified for a skating performance in your life. It was your first time performing for regionals after all.

You had barely gotten a wink of sleep, a few hours at most, but you mostly spent the night twisting and turning, glancing at your phone to look at the time, before letting out a frustrated groan and pulling your sheets up a bit higher in an attempt to get yourself to finally sleep. But your attempts were mostly futile, finally throwing in the towel around 5:00 in the morning, deciding it would be better to spend your time Getting ready for the day you’ve been anticipating rather then attempting to get another hour of sleep you know you won’t get.

By the time the clock had struck 5:30, you'd already packed your equipment in your bag, and had loaded it in Logan’s car, not surprised when you saw his back already packed, before making your way to the kitchen to make yourself breakfast, something light but enough to keep you full till lunch.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” Logan asked when you saw him enter the kitchen, two Starbucks cups hand, passing you one as he took a sip of his, his voice low as to not wake up Kate or Xavier. You let out a hum and nodded your head as you took the one he handed you and took a sip, the caffeine making you wince as you feel it try to wake your body up a bit.

“We should hit the road soon, coach Kavinsky said we should be at the rink by 6 so we can make it in time for check in and make it for our off ice warm up.” You said as you stood up from your seat, putting your dishes in the sink.

—

“God, I didn't know our short program would take so long…” Logan huffed as you both threw your figure skating jackets over your performance outfits for the first half of the competition, as you both rushed down the arenas long hallway being careful to avoid running into some of the other pairs as you made your way back to the locker rooms to change.

“Did you see Kate and her boyfriend?”

“No. Did you see Miguel and his friend?”

“No. I didn’t get enough time to look around the seats to find them.”

“Same.”

You both dropped the conversation once you both reached your respective locker rooms. Quickly changing out of the first dress and slipped the second one on, it was a full black dress with long mesh sleeves and smoke black mesh on your sides, being sure to be careful with the gemstones that were placed around the waistline and the chest, and the black feathers that accented the back in order to look like a pair of small wings as you slip your jacket back on, before going to change your lip color and eye makeup.

You were stressing hard, hell, you were surprised you were able to apply your eyeliner with a steady hand. You didn’t need to rush, since you and Logan weren’t going back on the ice for a while since they still had a few short programs to go through before you were supposed to go back on, but you tended to rush when you were nervous. Once you finished fixing your makeup you went to touch up your hair, placing two feathered wing hair clips that pinned flat against your head to match the ones of your costume, one of each side of your head. As you were placing some more bobby pins in your hair to help keep the small wings in place you heard your phone ding next to where you had placed it next to all your supplies. Once placing the last bobby pin in your hair, you grabbed your phone to open it and look at the notification.

Hey, you did amazing, can’t wait to watch your other dance. -unknown number

Fuck how your heart skipped a beat.

You didn’t even need to ask who it was to know it was Miguel, although you never gave him your phone number, so you were a bit curious as to who he had asked for it, but for now you’d have to push that to the back of your mind and focus at the more important upcoming task at hand.

—

“Next skaters going for the free skate, (Y/F/N) and Logan Martinez.”

A pause as the two go into their starting positions before Swan Lake by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky begins to fill the arena, the two skaters cladded in black, the gemstones on their costumes, despite their small size, shimmered brightly from the lights. No sounds other than the music filling the rink and the occasional swish from the skates slashing the ice.

You might be representing the black swan but you’ve never looked more like an angel in Miguel’s eyes. Despite the tragic atmosphere that the performance was depicting, you looked absolutely heavenly to him, he shouldn’t be surprised, this is what you love to do, what you wanted to do for a living. But he’s never got the chance, no starch that, the privilege of watching you do a routine in all of your full glory. He’s caught glimpses of you and Logan doing both routines during practices, but that was different, you wouldn’t portraying the emotions like you were right now, you wouldn’t wear the performance outfit like you were now, and the energy you were putting into the routine was far more grand than when you would practice back on the uni’s arena. He could already see himself watching from home as you and Logan were representing the country in the Olympics, but then again, maybe it was just his heart talking,being overzealous. He didn’t know if it was the performance or just your presence that he couldn’t tear his gaze from, but he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to look away in the first place.

You and Logan were selected to advance to sectionals.

—

Taglist: @tayleighuh @cowboylikeevie @coralineyouareinterribledanger @jukioku @loser-alert @miguel-ohara-eater @serpentstarr @littlexscarletxwitch @darksidescorner @sukioyakio @minimari415

#miguel o hara fanfic #miguel o'hara x reader #on thin ice fanfic #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 x reader #astv miguel #astv spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara au #figure skating au #hockey au #miguel spiderverse #spiderman 2099 fanfic #spiderman 2099

[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

Never Say Never

Chapter 16

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 7.9K

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Two weeks later found you at the baseball diamond for the boys first game of the season. Your group took up an entire section of the bleachers, everyone had showed up to cheer the kids on. You were squeezed between Robin and Janice, Matt on Janice’s other side. In front of you were Dustin, Lucas, Max, Nancy, and Jonathan. Behind you was El, Mike, Will, Nolan, Joyce, Karen, and Hopper. Jeremiah had a literal cheering section that was there for him and it hit you that now, so did Eli. Somehow, the two of you were not only lucky enough to get Steve, but also the entire family that came along with him. 

You caught sight of Judith out of the corner of your eye, walking up, looking more out of place than a string quartet at a toddler’s birthday party. Who showed up to a baseball game in heels and a pantsuit? Judith did. You fought the urge to roll your eyes or hide. Judith’s eyes darted over the bleachers, looking for you, wincing at the raucous ruckus the dad she was standing next to was making as he loudly bragged about his son. 

“Uh-oh…the she-beast has arrived,” muttered Janice, nodding in your mother-in-law’s direction.

“I saw,” you sighed, rising to your feet, waving your hand to make it easier for Judith to find you. There would be no hiding. Sometimes being the responsible adult sucked.

Judith somehow managed to look both annoyed and relieved at the sight of you. Sending one last scathing look toward the oblivious father, she made her way to your section of the bleachers. 

“Judith!” exclaimed Karen, climbing carefully down, opening her arms in welcome. “You’re Eli’s grandmother. I’m Jeremiah’s grandmother. And so is Joyce.” She pointed to the petite woman who was currently holding onto Jonathan’s head to step down.

“So you’re Steve’s mom or are you Steve’s mom?” questioned Judith, her eyes roaming over the two, judgement evident in her eyes. You didn’t have to try too hard to imagine what she must be thinking. Joyce standing there in her baggy jeans and oversized sweatshirt and Karen all done up with bright makeup and a dress that, gasp, stopped above her knees and even showed some cleavage. Oh, the horror. 

Karen laughed, her hand coming to her breast, Judith’s eyes about popping out of her head at the amount of bosom on display. Because heaven forbid a woman had the audacity to dress however she wanted, to be proud of her own body. And honestly, Karen had every right to show off. The woman was stunning. 

“Oh no. Neither of us are. Steve’s parents aren’t really in the picture sadly. I’m Nancy’s mom.” She turned, pointing to the petite brunette who waved with a smile. “Nancy is Jeremiah’s mom.”

“And I’m actually Jonathan’s mom,” Joyce explained, pointing to her son who simply lifted his hand. “He’s Jeremiah’s stepdad but I’ve known Steve since he was just a young kid in high school and he’s practically a son to me. So it feels like I’m his mom, too.”

“Yeah, and I’ve known him just as long because him and Nance met in high school so he kind of feels like a son to me too. The poor boy went from having no mom to multiple moms who are always in his business whether he wants us there or not.”

Joyce shrugged, “Honestly, everyone here is family. Everyone you see behind you are Jere’s aunts and uncles.” They all waved, Dustin and Max a bit more obnoxiously than the rest. “Well, except for Hop. He’s my husband. So I guess he’s kind of like Steve’s dad for all intents and purposes.”

Hopper snorted and then shrugged, “I’ll guess I’ll claim Harrington if I have to.”

“How…unconventional of all of you,” Judith managed, her teeth gritted in a tight smile.

Your eyes slipped closed in frustration. Of course this woman had to show up and ruin what was looking to be a perfect day. She couldn’t fathom something like found family. She believed blood came before everything else. The very idea that all of these people could come together and be more important to each other than the family genetics had stuck them with was inconceivable for a brain like hers. 

“Well, come on up,” Karen invited, giving her a wave. “We can all scooch and make room for you with the grandparents.”

“Oh, that’s alright. There will be no need for any…scooching. I’ll just…” Her eyes quickly scanned the bleachers. “I’ll sit right here. I’ll be fine.” Before anyone could argue with her, she dropped down in front of Max who turned, giving you a, can you believe this woman, look. 

You rolled her eyes, letting Max silently know you could not believe her but honestly, you could. You'd learned to expect nothing less than constant judgement and absolute disdain from that woman. No one was ever good enough in her eyes. Judith raised her bar so high that no one, who wasn’t Justin, could ever manage to leap over it. And even he’d struggled to make that jump sometimes.

You zoned out as the boys began talking about their latest D&D campaign in front of you, your eyes drawn to the sight of Steve out on the field with the team. He stood, surrounded by boys in baseball pants and white shirts with green stripes. And god he looked good, fitted jeans that showed off the muscles in his strong thighs, a moss green short sleeved shirt, his rounded biceps peeking out from the hem as he leaned forward, hands on his knees to talk to the kids. A baseball cap sat on his head and she didn’t know what it was but you loved him in a ballcap, all those beautiful locks spilling out from underneath. 

It was difficult to wrap your head around the fact that it had only been two weeks since you'd both been brave to utter those three little words, three little words with an impact big enough to change the trajectory of your lives. Two weeks of you feeling like you were walking on air, like nothing could possibly go wrong, floating in your own little bubble of bliss. It felt like so much longer. You couldn’t even remember what your life had been like before Steve had become a part of it, the endless days of just trying to make it through, and you didn’t want to. 

The two of you had spent nearly every night together since that moment on the beach, much to the boy’s excitement. Not sleeping over, that was still something you were trying to move slowly with for the boys’ sake, particularly Eli. Steve had been incredibly understanding about you wanting to wait a bit before you took that step. But almost every evening the four of you ate dinner together, sometimes at your house, sometimes at his. You played board games, watched movies, went for a walk down to the local ice cream place or rode your bikes over to the park for the boys to play. 

Steve had surprised you twice at work, showing up with lunch for the two of you. Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will had invited the boys over one night for D&D last week and Robin had offered to take them to a movie last night to allow Steve and you some alone time. It was incredible. You hadn’t just gained Steve but an entire village of people who just showed up and were there, ready to help at a moment’s notice, and you were so thankful for every single one of them. You'd never had anyone but Janice and Matt and having so many people who were willing to pitch in, who enjoyed your kid enough to want to spend time with him, well it meant more to you than you could possibly express to them. 

Your attention on Steve broke with an elbow to your side. Looking over, you found Janice grinning wickedly at you, “What were you thinking about, huh?”

“Probably last night,” teased Robin. “I took the boys to a movie so she and Steve were all alone. Replaying the highlight reel of naked time in your mind?”

“Eww! Can we not?” Mike asked. 

“Oh please.” Robin rolled her eyes. “Maybe I had to censor myself when you were thirteen but you’re twenty-six now. I think you can handle knowing how babies are made.”

“Babies? I didn’t know we were talking about babies.” El’s face lit up. “Are you going to have a baby? Oh, I miss babies. Jeremiah was such a cute little baby.”

“No one is talking about babies,” you replied, noticing how stiff Judith’s posture had suddenly gotten. She was only sitting a couple rows in front of you and there was no doubt she was listening to every word being spoken, stocking up ammunition for later. You did not need that woman to have one more reason to come at you. “Jeez. You guys are being ridiculous.”

“Not yet anyway,” teased Nancy, turning around. “But I heard the ‘l’ word has been spoken so you never know…”

“Oh my god!” Max shrieked, spinning completely around in her seat, Judith doing the same, her eyes shooting daggers at you. You braced yourself but Judith quickly spun back around as Max continued gushing. “Are you serious? You’re using the love word? I knew you were in love. You got all red faced at the coffee shop that night when the word was even mentioned.”

“When’s the wedding?” Lucas wiggled his eyebrows. “Because I look like a million bucks in a tux and the way Dustin is going, I might never get to be in another wedding if you two don’t tie the knot.”

“Hey! I will have you know that Heather and I are going on our third date tomorrow night,” Dustin stated, folding his arms. 

“Ohhh…” Will crooned. “You convinced her to go out with you a third time? What’d you bribe her with? Oh, or is it blackmail? You got something juicy on her that she doesn’t want revealed?”

Dustin chucked a piece of popcorn at him and Will caught it in his mouth, grinning triumphantly as he chewed. Dustin shook his head in disgust.

“I don’t think Dustin needs bribery or blackmail. Heather has been talking about him nonstop at the office,” you told them, sending a wink Dustin’s way. “She really likes you. She said she had a blast at the Science Museum with you last week.”

“Oh yeah? I had a lot of fun too. What else has she said about me?”

“Hmm. Let me think,” you taunted, tapping your finger against your chin, relieved to be talking about someone that wasn’t you with Judith sitting and listening like a hawk. “That you’re adorable and funny. She thinks you have the best smile. She told me you’re one of the nicest guys she’s ever met and that you’re super smart. She says your big brain is one of the sexiest things about you.”

Mike, Lucas, and Will began gagging on cue, perfectly synced as if they’d rehearsed it first. Dustin glared at them all but you could see how pleased he was at the information you'd just relayed to him. And it was all true. You'd been teasing Heather all week about what a smitten little kitten she was. They were awfully cute together.

“And speaking of new romance,” you sang, bopping your elbow into Robin’s side. “How goes it with the lovely June?”

Robin’s face flushed a brilliant shade of scarlett. She grabbed onto a piece of her hair, toying with it, a coy smile lifting the corners of her mouth. Clearly Heather wasn’t the only smitten kitten around here.

“June?” came Judith’s voice loudly. “That’s a very strange name for a man.”

“Well, that would be because June is, in fact, a woman,” Dustin stated.

Judith made a sound like a throttled gasp, her eyes going wide, “A woman? So…you’re…one of those…?”

“One of what exactly?” challenged Max, leaning forward, elbows on her knees. “A human? A woman? An American? An Earthling? What exactlt are you asking, Judith?”

Your hands clenched at your sides, bracing yourself for an ugly scene. A scene that could destroy this beautiful thing that had been building around you. Why would any of them want you to be a part of their lives when that would mean this awful woman would be a part of it too? Judith’s mouth went tight at Max’s confrontation and you braced yourself, waiting for the nasty thing that was about to come out of her mouth. 

But Judith simply stated, “Never mind. It’s none of my concern,” and turned back around. Huh. She must have realized she was outnumbered and didn’t like her odds. 

“So anyway, back to the matter at hand,” Max said loudly, turning to Robin. 

“Yes, we’re all dying to know,” Karen exclaimed, leaning into Robin. “Are there sparks?”

“I wouldn’t say sparks…” Robin began and when they all looked crestfallen, she grinned. “More like massive explosions that could level an entire city.” She giggled. “She’s amazing. I mean, we went to the movies and it was fun, but you can’t really talk much at the movies.”

Nolan snorted, “You? You talk through movies all the time.”

“With you guys,” she huffed. “But she doesn't even know me yet. Not really. I didn’t want to give her the full dose of how neurotic I am right out of the gate. I have to give her small doses until she’s just acclimated to it and doesn’t realize the extent of my craziness. Anyway, I thought that would be the end of it. You know? I told you guys it went well but I didn’t really expect anything to come of it. Then she called and asked if I wanted to go to dinner. So we went out Tuesday night again and we were sitting in the restaurant for six hours! Six hours! Can you believe it?”

“What in the hell do you do in a restaurant for six hours?” Hopper huffed. “I mean, after you eat what else is there?” Joyce swatted him and he looked over at her, bewildered. “What?”

“Just because you have no conversational skills doesn’t mean others don’t. They were obviously talking.”

“I have conversational skills. I am very eloquent with my words, thank you very much.” He grinned when you all laughed because nothing about this bear of a man screamed eloquent. “But six hours? What could you possibly have to talk about for six hours?”

“Everything,” Robin sighed dreamily. “She was asking me all kinds of questions and she didn’t even seem to mind when I rambled. She said she thought it was cute! Can you believe it? And I learned so much about her. She loves cats. She has two of them, Hoggle and Ludo.”

“What kinds of names are those?” Judith piped up and you fought the urge to throw one of your M&Ms at the back of her head. Hadn’t the woman said enough already? Why couldn’t she just shut up?

“She’s a Labyrinth fan!” you squealed, choosing to ignore your mother-in-law completely instead. “Great taste in movies.”

“Yes! And music…she loves Blondie, Bowie, the Beatles…”

“All solid choices,” Joyce replied. 

“I don’t know,” Hopper mused. “I didn’t hear any Zeppelin or Stones mentioned.”

“You’re showing your age, Hop,” Will teased.

“The game is starting,” Judith interrupted loudly. “So maybe the inappropriate talk about love lives could finish now.”

“Damn, she’s really not any fun is she?” Robin hissed in your ear. 

“You have no idea,” you mumbled back with a groan. You had to keep reminding yourself that Judith was Eli’s grandmother. No matter how frustrating she was, you were going to have to deal with her but only as much as absolutely necessary. Hopefully she would just head home after the game and save you all from her unwanted presence any longer.

The game went far better than you had expected for it being the boys’ first time. Eli actually managed to hit the ball and made it all the way to third before the other team’s player managed to throw it in. Matt may have cheered the loudest, jumping out of his seat, proud of the kid he’d spent so much time in the batting cages with. 

Matt’s cheering had not come as a surprise but the way the rest of them all cheered for your son did. It wasn’t just a casual, yay Eli, an obligatory cheer because their friend was dating the kid’s mom. They seemed genuinely excited, celebrating his moments of glory just as loudly and proudly as they did Jeremiah’s. When Jeremiah ran into home, breaking the tie and winning the game, you leapt from your seat, you and Nancy high fiving and hugging, two moms sharing your pride in your boys. 

Both boys came racing off the field, their cheeks bright red, flushed from both the excitement and the exertion. They were swept up in a flurry of hugs and high fives from the crowd of people who had shown up just for them. 

“You boys were amazing!” Hopper yelled, pulling both boys in for a bear hug. Yeah, you could definitely see where Dustin got Smokey the Bear from this guy. 

“Did you see me slide right into home, grandpa? I saw that kid grab it but I just knew I had time! Daddy says to take chances!” Jeremiah beamed, the smile on his face so wide it looked painful. 

“I saw it, kid. You did real good. You took the chance and it paid off. You’re going to be the next Barry Bonds, just watch. And you!” He turned his attention to Eli, his massive hand ruffling her son’s hair. “That was a hell of a hit, kid. Making it all the way to third before they could get it. You gave them a run for their money. They were scrambling after that ball.”

Eli looked so proud that your heart could burst. Judith stepped forward. She’d been keeping to the outside of the group, clearly uncomfortable, uncertain how to make herself known. You had no doubt it was killing her to see Eli receiving so much positive attention from so many people that were not her. To see that he had other people in his life that were important to him, to not be the first person that had congratulated him on his game. 

Just as she stepped forward and Eli spotted her, running into her arms for a hug, Steve was making his way over from the diamond, a large bag slung over his shoulder. When his eyes found yours, he gave you one of those smiles that came with a side of a very flirty wink that he seemed to reserve just for you.

“Good game, huh?” he commented, a quick kiss planted on your lips. “The boys did a great job.”

“That’s because they have a great coach,” you replied, your arms slipping around his stomach, smiling up at this man who always had you in a state of complete awe. 

“Everybody still up for burgers and shakes at Benny’s?” Hopper boomed out over the cacophony of noise. 

You glanced over to Judith who was purposefully keeping her eyes off of you and Steve. You really didn’t want to invite her but it would be the right thing to do. She’d driven all this way for the game. 

“Judith, would you like to join us?” you asked, keeping your arms firmly locked around Steve because who cared what Judith thought. You had made it clear to her that this new future with Steve did not erase your past with Justin. The woman was just going to have to get used to it.

“Oh. I…no, I don’t think so.” She shook her head. “Henry is supposed to be getting back this evening and he’ll need dinner.” She looked around to the others, feeling the need to explain, “Work trip.”

Yeah. Henry had an awful lot of work trips. Justin had confided in you that he wasn’t so sure they were all for work but he could never prove it. And Judith chose to go through life blissfully unaware. As far as you knew, you'd never confronted him or questioned him. But the two of them had never exactly been the warm and fuzzy couple. There weren’t those moments of tender touches or warm glances ever. Their relationship seemed more like a business transaction, something that was mutually beneficial to them both. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah grandma. Benny’s has the best shakes!”

Jeremiah nodded his agreement. “Eli and I both love strawberry! And Benny always brings me ranch to dip my fries in.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” Judith smiled down at the boy, seeming surprised that he was taking the time to talk to her. She jumped when Joyce came up next to her, placing an arm around her shoulders. 

“Come on Judes.” You brought your hand to your mouth to cover the snort that had slipped out at Joyce’s choice of nickname. Robin clearly found it just as amusing as she shoved her face into El’s shoulder, her body shaking with laughter. “It’ll be fun. And if these two crazy kids are going to be doing the family thing, then that means we all need to do the family thing, right?”

“Yeah, Judes,” Max agreed, grinning as if this were the best moment of her life. “We’re all one big happy family now. We all love Eli and he loves us. Right, kid?”

Eli leapt from the ground as he proudly exclaimed, “Yeah!” He turned to Judith. “Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas all play this really cool game called Dungeons and Dragons and they’re teaching me all about it. And Robin took us to see this movie, First Kid. It’s about this kid who is the president’s son and he has a bodyguard. It’s so funny and she got us popcorn and Skittles because she says Skittles are the superior candy. And Max is teaching me how to skateboard! I fell off a couple times but I’m starting to get the hang of it. She says I’ll be a pro by the end of summer. And El came over and helped us make slime when we spent the night with Nancy and Jonathan. They let us stay up until midnight and we got to do s’mores over the fire in their backyard. It was so cool. And Hopper let us ride in his police car! He even turned on the lights and the siren for us and he brought us one of those pads to do fingerprints! And Joyce makes the best spaghetti. We went to her house for dinner and Will is an artist and he showed us all these cool things he drew when he was just our age!”

Judith looked a bit taken aback as Eli kept rambling, caught off guard at how large a part of his life each of these people were now. You almost felt sorry for her, the sadness in her eyes, knowing how she wished she was closer so she could be a bigger part of Eli’s life. Almost but not quite because the woman was her own worst enemy. 

“I don’t know. Henry…”

“Is a grown man who can fend for himself,” you reminded her. “He’s fifty-six Judith. The man should know how to at least make a sandwich.”

Judith’s hands wrung together, an internal battle playing over her face. Damn. Was she really that programmed by that man or was her uncertainty coming from all the new people, the fact that she would be the one outside looking in instead of at the center of it all?

“Come on. It will be fun,” Karen urged. “My husband, Tedd, isn't here either. We’ll be two crazy ladies without their husbands. I mean, who needs them anyway, right?”

Judith laughed, her hand flying to her mouth, eyes going wide as if she couldn’t believe she’d just done that. You pressed your lips together in amusement. So there was a woman desperate for fun in there just waiting to break free. You could see it in the sparkle of those ocean blue eyes, so much like her son’s. 

“Are you sure you want me to come?” she asked, the question directed at you. 

You smiled, stepping forward, placing your arm around Judith’s shoulders, “Of course I do.”

Maybe this could work out after all. Maybe Judith wasn’t as awful as she seemed. Perhaps all that bluster and rudeness came from a place of deep fear. Fear not that her son would be forgotten, but that she would. Fear that you would move on and in turn, so would Eli, and she would be left with nothing after losing her only child besides a husband that was more boring than watching paint dry. Perhaps all of this had simply been because no one but Justin had ever really thought she mattered.

Judith’s mouth lifted at the corners, her entire demeanor changing with that subtle smile. It made her appear far more approachable and soft. She nodded. 

“Okay. I haven’t had a milkshake in years. Do they have malts? Oh, malts were my favorite.”

“Mine too!” Hopper bellowed. “And you won’t find a better malt than Benny’s. Come on. You can ride with us old folks.” He pulled his keys from his pocket. 

“Oh! That's quite alright. I don’t want to inconvenience you. Then you would have to bring me back here. I have my own car if you just want to tell me how to get there.”

“Nonsense!” Joyce looped her arm in Judith’s, tossing you a wink. “You are not an inconvenience. Us grandmas have to stick together. Come on. We’ll let the young ones be. We’ll have plenty of time to tell you all sorts of juicy stories about Steve this way.”

Steve groaned, his head rolling around his shoulders, “Or not!”

“You’ll love this one, Judith,” Karen laughed, taking her other arm as they led her toward the parking lot. “One time I found Steve climbing up the trellis of our house to sneak and see Nancy…”

“Great,” muttered Steve as their words faded, shaking his head. “Your mother-in-law is never going to like me once those three fill her head with every screw up I’ve ever made.”

“It doesn’t matter if she likes you,” you reminded him, rising up to your tiptoes to press your lips to his. “Because I do.”

“Besides, she’ll figure out for herself what a dingus you are before too long,” Robin snorted, yelping when Steve shoved her backward. 

“So, how do you think this is going to go?” asked Janice who had always chosen to keep her distance. After one meeting with Judith, Janice preferred to not deal with her at all if she could, always saying she was going to open her mouth and piss the woman off if she said one more negative thing about you in front of her. 

“With Judith…who knows…”

___________________________________________________________

But it went far better than Steve could have possibly imagined. He’d pictured Judith sitting there stiffly, staring them all down as she judged every single word they said. Or possibly offending every single person at the table with her words at some point. Or announcing to the entire table why Steve shouldn’t be with you. However, none of that happened. 

Sitting between Karen and Joyce, the woman had loosened. As if the two others had slowly unraveled the strings that had been knotting her up for years and she could finally breathe. She smiled. She even laughed. And even though he’d only known her a very short time, it had even shocked him to see. He hadn’t been sure the woman was capable of frivolity of any kind. Forget actually enjoying anything. 

And the best part of it was that you seemed to finally be relaxed. You sat at the other end of the table, Steve on one side of you and Janice on the other, keeping your distance from Judith. But every now and then you would look down at the woman and smile. Your two worlds were coming together and it wasn’t the horrendous clash you’d expected. They were actually appearing to meld quite seamlessly. 

By the time dinner was over, everyone was heading out full and in good spirits. Judith had even smiled politely when Robin asked if Steve and you would want to double date with her and June soon. She swallowed down any bullshit bias she had. If she was going to be ignorant, at least she was following the golden rule and keeping her damn mouth shut if she had nothing nice to say. 

After saying your goodbyes, Steve drove you and the boys back to his house. You fed Miles while Steve headed out back to get a fire going. The boys raced upstairs to play on the Nintendo 64 for a while. You stepped onto the back deck, sliding the door shut after Miles raced out behind her, instantly doing zoomies throughout the yard. 

God, you were pretty. Even weeks after meeting, he still found himself in awe of you. Jeans that wrapped around each and every curve in a way that had his hands twitching at his sides, wanting to follow those familiar hills and valleys. You hated shoes and socks, lost them as soon as you could, something he’d learned about you over the past weeks, so bare pink toes peeked out from beneath the flared denim. The Bowie shirt you wore was cropped, a sliver of your soft stomach exposed. Your hair was up in a high ponytail, only accentuating your neck which was just calling to his mouth.

You tilted your head, those perfectly pink cotton candy lips pursing in a way that had him thinking so many thoughts that were not anywhere near the ballpark of holy. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen and he fought the urge to pinch himself, to prove these last weeks weren’t some fever dream that he was going to wake from. 

“See something you like?” Your tone was light, playful, as he slowly made his way up onto the deck until he stood right in front of you. 

“I most certainly do.” Fingers gripped your hips, tugging you into him until you could feel just how much he liked what he was seeing. “You have no idea the effect you have on me.”

“Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea right now,” you chuckled, hands tracing over his chest and shoulders to loop around his neck. “But sadly for you, there are children afoot so there is not much I can do about that at the moment.”

“You simply existing does it for me. You don’t have to do anything but appear, honey. That’s it. You laugh. You smile. You cross your legs. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You take a sip of coffee. It all does it for me.”

“Yeah? Well, same for me. I swear I dreamed you into existence, Steve Harrington. I didn’t believe guys like you existed. I thought they were meant for storybooks and movies.”

Heat rushed over his cheeks at your compliment. “I’m no fairytale prince, honey but I promise to try to give you a happily ever after.”

Your teeth pulled at your bottom lip, your eyes widening just slightly at his words and he was doubting himself all over again. Should he not have said that? Was that pushy? But hadn’t you said forever? Hadn’t you said it just a couple weeks ago? That if you both were all in then you had to be planning on forever?

“Happily ever after? That sounds nice,” you murmured, pulling him in until your lips met, all his doubt vanishing like vapor on the air with your words. 

His arms wound around you, lifting you up onto your toes, crushing your bodies together. You moaned softly, the sound swallowed by his lips, and his jeans felt painfully tight. You tasted just as sweet as you looked, chocolate milkshake met with cherry lip balm, a combination that had his head spinning.  

Everything else ceased to exist for him when your lips were on his. Your tongue parted his lips, slipping along his own, and he couldn’t have told you what color the sky was or what month of the year it was. There was only you and him, locked in this moment that he wanted to make last until eternity. If this was how he would spend the rest of his days on this Earth, he could be okay with that. 

But you did manage to think, pulling back, your lips now slick, curved into the prettiest smile, your eyes heavy with the desire that was racing under his skin. He wanted you. He always wanted you and with the boys, he never had you nearly enough. But the boys were right upstairs and he knew you couldn’t risk it. Those kids could be down and out the door before they even heard a sound. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, your questioning barreling through his brain fog. “You don’t have to thank me. I’ll kiss you anytime you want.”

“No,” you chuckled, swatting at him. “Thank you for today, for dealing with Judith. I know she’s…difficult. But I don’t know. She seemed a little different today. I have hope. It's a very small hope but hope that maybe she’s coming around. But I know she wasn’t very nice to you and the fact that you are willing to put up with her…I’m just really grateful because you don’t have to, you know.”

“Of course I do.” Steve slid his hand down your arm, locking your fingers together. He led you to the lounger, sitting and pulling you down in his lap. His nose traced your jaw, nuzzled into your hair. “She’s a part of your life and she’s a part of Eli’s life. If I want to be a part of your life then that means she’s part of mine too.”

“That’s…very kind of you.”

“No. It’s not.” He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning your face to his. “Look. When I said I was all in, I meant it. I don’t get to be all in and then pick and choose what I am willing to handle. Anything that comes your way comes my way now too. Anything that’s heavy for you, you got me to help you carry it. Anything that’s hurting you, I will step in front of. That’s the deal. It’s not just you anymore. It’s us. We’re a team.”

“Okay coach,” you beamed, teasing but your eyes betrayed your lighthearted tone, shimmering with emotion at his words. 

Wasn’t that what a relationship was supposed to be? Two people against the world? He loved this woman. He wanted to be in your life. He wanted to crawl inside your skin and live there the way you did in his. You had managed to slither your way inside. You were in the blood that ran through his veins, in every single beat of his heart, in the very cells that made up his skin. 

Yeah. You came with baggage but who didn't? And he was more than willing to help you carry that load because you were more than worth it. You were everything he hadn’t even known he’d been searching for. He’d looked for so long, in all the wrong places, never knowing that the one that would finally fill in all those hollow places inside him already existed in the same town as him. 

Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was an awful thing to think, but it felt like fate had brought you together. He was so sorry that your husband had died but maybe this was the course your lives had to take for you to find one another. He’d thought about what if he’d been first. What if he’d stumbled across you when you were out with your friends thirteen years ago? It had made him feel like an absolute piece of shit, but he couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like if he’d been the one.

But then there would be no Jeremiah. There would be no Eli. You wouldn’t have known the love she already had with your husband. He wouldn’t have gotten the thump on his head that he needed for him to see you, truly see you, to understand how lucky he was to have you. Maybe the two of you had to go through all that heartache and disappointment to come to this place, where you could truly appreciate what you had. So you would never take it for granted, never throw it away, or treat it carelessly. 

So yeah. Maybe Steve hadn’t been your first but he had every intention of being your last. Your last boyfriend, your last love, your last kiss, your last everything. Because he’d chosen wrong so many times before, yes, but he hadn’t this time. He knew it like he knew his own name, like he knew the sun would rise tomorrow, like he knew the beat of his son's heart. He’d chosen right this time and there was nothing that would make him walk away. He would spend the rest of his life showing you just how much you meant to him. He would never take for granted this amazing gift that had somehow walked right onto his baseball field and into his life. 

“So, can I ask…I think you were going to tell me that day at the lake but we got a little sidetracked. What is the deal with you and Judith?”

Your head tipped back, eyes tracking the stars as you inhaled deeply, “I don’t know. There was never a specific moment or an event. It’s not like we had a falling out. She’s just always been like that with me. From the moment Justin introduced me to her, she treated me like I just wasn’t good enough. I was never enough for her precious son, you know?”

Steve snorted, “She’s nuts. Has she met you?”

“You’re sweet but I don’t think there’s anything I could ever do that would be enough for her. She always wanted to be the most important to him and I feel like she saw me as a threat. I mean, it’s insane. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work? You raise your son to be a good man. You hope they find someone who will see that and love them. They choose their person and that person should come first. I mean, it’s the logical order of things. But she never saw it like that. It was like she always had to find a flaw in me to prove that she was better, that she loved Justin more, that his love for her outshone his love for me.”

“Did he…”

“No.” You cut him off, shaking your head. “No. Absolutely not. He took off as soon as he could. That’s why he joined the Marines, to get away from her. He told me he felt like she was smothering him and he couldn't breathe in that house anymore. He also didn’t have the best relationship with his dad. I think Henry cheats on Judith all the time. I’m pretty sure that’s why he goes on so many ‘business trips…’” You air quoted the words. “I think they’re far more pleasure than business. Justin thought so too. He just had to get away from it.”

“Well, I understand the need to get away from toxic parents. Mine weren’t smothering…quite the opposite actually. They just were indifferent unless I was disappointing them. Did you two even see her very much if their relationship wasn’t the best?”

“Not really.” Your fingers trailed along his hand, running over his knuckles. “Holidays, birthdays…you know, the required stuff. But she would be Judith and Henry, well, when he was actually there, he would pick apart Justin. He thought he was a waste, going into the military instead of going to college. Justin was always in a horrible mood when we left. He would put off seeing them for as long as he could.”

“What about Eli? Did they want to be around when he came along?”

“Oh yeah. Well, Judith did anyway. Saw him as her second chance at getting someone to love her best. But Justin kept her at arm’s length as much as he could. He hated seeing what having her around did to me. She questioned everything I did, judged me, picked me apart. She always made me feel like an awful mother. When Eli was first learning to walk, he fell. You know how they are at that age. Their heads are too big for their bodies and they’re like a weeble wobble. He fell and smashed his forehead into the corner of the wall. He had a huge goose egg and I was panicked that he had a serious brain injury. We took him to the E.R. Judith showed up and immediately started telling me what an incompetent mother I was, questioning what I’d been doing when he fell, why I wasn’t watching him. Justin lost it. He blew up at her right in the middle of the hospital. That was the moment he told her that if she couldn’t respect his wife and the mother of his child, then she was no longer welcome to be a part of our lives. I’ve never seen her so put in her place. She had no idea how to respond. Anyway, we didn’t hear from her for about a month after that. It was a bit better then but things with her and I have always been a bit…precarious.”

“Jesus. She sounds awful. And she’s clearly no fan of mine but that’s alright. I don’t need to impress her. The only person I care about impressing is you.” He wiggled his eyebrows, planting a soft kiss on your lips. 

“Oh, I am very impressed Mr. Harrington. Very impressed,” you mused, your arms winding around his neck, nose nuzzling gently over his own. 

Steve was overcome with the desire to keep you there, to never let you go. Every night, when he would have to gather his things or watch you gather yours, it left him with a hollow ache. Maybe it was soon but who decided how soon was too soon? Was it too soon when all he could think about when you weren't around was seeing you again? Was it too soon when he laid in bed, inhaling the scent of vanilla and pear that you left behind, craving the warmth of your body curled into his?

“Stay,” he whispered, a plea sent on his breath to your skin, his nose tracing your cheek. 

“What?”

“Stay. Stay the night with me.” His fingers wrapped around your biceps, holding you against him, willing you to agree. “I know why you’ve wanted to wait. I understand your reasons but your reasons aren’t really reasons anymore.”

“Steve…”

He was losing you. You were going to rationalize your way out of this and he couldn’t let you. He was overcome with an irrational need to get you to stay, to sleep curled up in his arms, to cement the decision that you were real, that this was it. That he was enough for you. That you wanted this as much as he did. He was pushing and he knew it but he couldn’t stop himself. He needed to know. He was in so deep here. He needed to know that you were in it too, barely keeping your head above water, sinking into the depths with him.

“No. Look, the whole reason you wanted to wait was because you didn’t want Eli getting his hopes up just for this to all end. You didn’t want him to see this as serious with him already assuming things. But this is serious and this isn’t ending. Right?”

“I mean, I don’t plan on it but…”

“No. No buts,” he insisted, hands sliding down your arms to wrap around your hands, holding them against him. Bowing his head, he brought your knuckles to his lips, brushing a kiss over them. “This isn’t ending. I’m not going anywhere. Do you plan on going anywhere?”

“Well no…”

“So then why not?”

“I don’t know. I mean, do you really think it’s appropriate for us to share a bed with the boys in the house?”

“Did you share a bed with your husband when Eli was home?”

“That’s different and you know it.”

“Why? Because we’re not married? Marriage is a piece of paper, honey. It’s a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything because it can be torn in half and discarded so easily. I love you. You love me. The boys want this to happen. I’m not saying let’s get down and dirty.” He grinned devilishly, his cheek running over yours. “Not that I don’t want to. But would it really be inappropriate to sleep in the same bed? When we move in together, we’ll be sharing a bed, right?”

You pulled back, a look of sheer anxiety across your face, “When we…when we move in together?”

“I mean, eventually, right? That would be the logical next step. It’s silly to keep two houses when we spend most of our time together. I mean, whenever we’re apart all I can think about is the next time I get to have you in my arms. I know it may seem soon but really, we’re the only ones who get to decide what soon is. And the way I feel about you, I know it got intense pretty fast but…”

His word died in his throat as he felt the shift in you. Your chest rose and fell rapidly against his, your heart beating a rapid tempo against his skin. Releasing your hands, he grabbed your face, attempting to get your eyes to focus on him. But they were glazed, wide, staring off into nothing as you descended into a full blown attack, an attack he’d caused.

“Hey, hey…you’re okay, baby. Look at me. Come on. Just breathe with me, honey,” he urged. 

You were gasping, small little squeaking sounds emitting as you struggled to take in air. Jesus Christ. What had he done? Exactly what he’d sworn he wouldn’t do. He’d pushed you, ran up behind you and shoved you off the ledge before you were ready. And now you w were free falling as he ran underneath you, trying to catch you but failing. 

“Shit! Baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You don’t have to spend the night. We’re not moving in together. It’s okay. I’m moving too fast. I do it all the time and I’m sorry. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Just breathe for me, please.”

But you wouldn’t. You couldn’t. He grabbed onto your hands again. They were ice cold. Your skin was damp, clammy, a sheen of sweat coating your forehead and upper lip. And then you were shaking, trembling and he grasped your arms, pulling your body against his but it wouldn’t stop as you wheezed. 

This had gone on for too long. It wasn’t stopping. You weren't coming back down. Your breathing was only getting worse if that was even possible. He had to do something. 

“Boys!” he screamed as he cradled your quivering body against him. “Call 911!”

Chapter 17

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[peachyjinx]

On The Edge- Ch 2: Stormy Weather

Word count: 4.4k

Summary: You ask for advice on your situation. Loki insists on flirting with you, and you're no closer to finding your orgasm (this chapter is all plot).

Warnings: Just mentions of masturbation and sex

After a few more moments of sitting in silence with Loki, you decided you were going to go for it. Either tell him how you feel or just kiss him. What’s the worst that could happen- Loki would say no? He’s right here, his hand on your knee, and he just came on to you, so of course he wouldn’t say no!

Just as you worked up your courage, you and Loki’s phones went off with a notification. You groaned and pulled out your phone begrudgingly, knowing it’s probably a mission.

Meet at the Tower at 0900.

Great, today was just starting off so well. It’s as if your bosses are deliberately cockblocking you. 

“Well, should we go then?,” Loki stood, holding out his hand for you to take it as you got up. 

“I was really enjoying the peace, this is bullshit,” you muttered under your breath as you walked alongside Loki towards the tower.

“Ah, such is the life of a superhero, Darling,” Loki smirked, and you tried not to melt at the pet name he called you. 

~~~~~~

Day 14

You audibly moaned as the hot water hit your back in your own shower, comforting you. The mission had taken you to Winnipeg of all places, where it was still mostly frozen over. It had been a tough infiltration of a Hydra compound to retrieve the Talisman of Power from them, but the team was successful. While you and Cap provided the brawn (both being super soldiers), Loki and Wanda provided the magic. Despite your strong team, this was still a tougher battle than any others you had been in. Of course Loki saved the day, his magic was stronger than any magic that the henchmen had used against your team.

You could feel the tension in your muscles softening, and you thought of Loki- who was now constantly on your mind. The day in the park was both pure bliss and pure torture. All you wanted was to crawl into his lap, grind on him and possibly fuck him on the very public park bench. Yet he didn’t make a move- he just sat there and tried to chat with you as though everything were completely platonic. 

But you noticed in Winnipeg how he looked concerned when you were thrown against that wall. And that you were the only teammate he checked in on on the flight back in the Quinjet. Why did it seem like he wanted you but wasn’t making a move?  

You felt your hand wander down in between your thighs, feeling yourself get moist thinking about him again. 

~~~~~~ 

Unsuccessful again. This is ridiculous. 

You thought you could ignore the issue of the missing orgasm, but that didn’t last long- you had to talk to someone. You’ve masturbated a dozen times and nothing. Your impatience with your body was wearing thin, and you needed to talk to someone. 

You’d texted your friends back home for advice, but they were swamped with work, or kids, or just haven’t had a moment for a quick call. You decided it’s time to talk to a coworker about it. That’s totally normal, right? 

You’d sat on your couch, feeling anxious as you texted Wanda. She had always been kind, and your bond over the last year had grown increasingly stronger, especially recently.

Hey, want to grab a bite to eat? I’ve got something going on that I could really use your advice on.

Sure, meet you downstairs at noon?

Relief flooded you that you could actually talk to someone about this. You smiled and headed to your bathroom to get ready. 

~~~~~~

You tentatively looked at Wanda as her eyes widened watching the large BLTs being set down in front of the two of you. Your friendship was still new, but now was the time to take it to the next level. 

“Ok this is super awkward, I have to talk to you about something,” you looked into her large green eyes, concern showing there now at your words. 

“Of course, you can talk to me about anything,” she encouraged, setting down her sandwich and reaching her hand across the table to gently squeeze yours.  

Your eyes focused on the diner window next to you, embarrassed to have to say this out loud to Wanda, sitting across the booth from you. 

“Ok, here goes. So…I haven’t been able to orgasm in like two weeks. And, like, that’s not normal for me. At all. And I’m kinda freaked out and just needed to talk to someone about it,” your eyes flicked back to hers. Her face showed no judgment, only worry.

“I am so sorry, that sounds rough-,” her eyebrows tilted towards each other. 

“It’s like I’m blocked up,” you interrupted her, the past couple week’s frustration boiling over. 

“I’ve tried everything, and different things, and just nothing. And there’s this guy…,” you stop yourself before divulging your crush. But what does it matter at this point? You’ve already told her an incredibly intimate detail of your personal life. 

You pick up your sandwich, taking a huge bite to stop yourself from going on about how much you want to fuck Loki. 

Wanda cocked her head to the side, studying you for a moment, a small smile on her lips. 

“Well, first of all, I would not be too concerned. Stranger things have happened to all of us, right?,” she joked, making you smile a little. 

“...and who is this guy you mentioned, is he on the team?”, she inquired gently as she looked at you with thoughtful eyes. 

You chewed slowly, wondering if you should tell her about your full blown obsession. This felt like high school again, when you whispered who you “like liked” to your girlfriends at the lunch table. You swallowed and took a deep breath. 

Fuck it. 

“Okay, but please do not tell ANYONE. I swear, if it gets out, I’m coming for you,” you faux threatened her, pointing at her with your fork. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t even tell Vis. But I may be able to help you if you give me the full story!”, she cheerfully encouraged you. 

“It’s Loki…,” you paused for a moment after saying his name. You rarely said it outside of missions or the Tower, and it carried a heavier weight now. 

“Wanda…I’ve got it bad,” you looked at her hopelessly, trying to gauge her reaction.

A large smile spread across her face as she nodded knowingly as she started to eat her lunch. You read her body language, mortified. She knew.

“Oh NO could you tell?!,” you brought your hands to your face, trying to hide.

“Well I’m not around the two of you much. But I definitely sensed your nerves around him the last few days. I thought it may just be that he puts everyone on a slight edge,” she replied nonchalantly. 

“No, my nerves are for different reasons,” you whined, feeling embarrassed that you were so readable. 

“Because you want to fuck him,” she teased with a smirk. You felt blush all over your face, embarrassed hearing the truth spoken out loud by your teammate.

“Yes, desperately,” you sighed, looking back out the window at nothing in particular.

“I don’t blame you, he is quite attractive. Not my type, but I get it. Well, at least you know someone you could sleep with to test out if you have the same problem with a man!”, she joked as she ate her chips. 

“Oh I want to, I almost tried to hit on him- but I shouldn’t. I work with him. And he would just be so SMUG about it. He might not even be interested and then he’ll reject me, and he’ll just taunt me in front of everyone. Besides, I’m sure he goes out and gets laid all the time, right?”, you asked, hoping the answer was no, but knowing he did. 

“Oh yes, there are definitely rumors, he’s been out all night and comes back the next day. We’ve all assumed that was what was going on, and he doesn’t try to deny it. I’m sure if we asked, he’d tell us all about what he’s been up to. And the way he shamelessly flirts when we’re out…”.

You felt your smile fade as you thought about all the men and women he’s been with. Wanda quickly picked up on your disappointment and tried to lift your spirits.

“....BUT I will say he’s never brought anyone to the tower. And I think you two would be a good match. If that’s what you’re interested in. Are you interested in him romantically?,” she gently prodded more.

You sighed, nodding.There was no denying it, you weren’t just in lust with him- there was affection, too. Damn him. 

You reached your arm out to the server walking by, “Excuse me, I’m going to need a milkshake over here!”.

Wanda chuckled and gave you another all-knowing smile, “It will be okay, I promise.”

Even if she couldn’t guarantee that, it still made you feel better. 

~~~~~~

Day 15

Thunder clapped loudly outside, making you jump awake. Your eyes flew open and you quickly assessed your surroundings. You felt your heart racing as the sound of rain came crashing against your windows. This was something you didn’t like about living in the tower- harsh thunderstorms were much louder. It was the kind of thunderstorm that only came at the changing of the season- loud and violent, as if Thor was battling outside your window. 

You laid in bed, trying to get back to sleep, but the loud claps and flashing behind your eyelids made it impossible.

You groaned and rolled out of bed, deciding to venture downstairs for a snack- there was no way you were going to sleep until it was over.

As you sleepily yawned, you walked to the kitchen and your eyes scanned the living area next to it. 

Loki sat in the corner on a large couch, quietly thumbing through a book. This was the first time you had seen him since Winnipeg. It’s so strange how much he keeps to himself, often lingering quietly in the background. You wondered if he really wanted to be here- sometimes he acted like he was a prisoner. 

“Can’t sleep either, huh?”, you quietly kid with him as you opened the fridge door. 

“No, Gods don’t require as much sleep as a human. Thor and I are often up while you and the others sleep,” Loki remarked as he closed his book with a soft thud, getting off the couch to saunter towards you. 

“Huh, I didn’t know that,” you set the bread and jelly on the counter, looking for the peanut butter in the cabinet. 

You could hear him approaching from behind you, but focused on your sandwich plans. You were not going to let him get to you right now. 

“And why are you up at this hour? Something bothering you?,” his dulcet tone made you quiver as you tried to ignore your body’s reaction.

Loki stopped directly behind you, only a few inches of space between the two of you. 

“Is there something else I can help you with? Are you quite parched, Darling?”, his deep voice tempting you as he stood close to you. 

You felt your body charged with heat, the sexual tension palpable because of his body’s closeness to yours. What did he mean by you being parched? Thirsty? What is he up to?

“No…I just…,” you stuttered and turned your head to look into his eyes- his gaze was intense and a smirk played at the corner of his lip. You need him. Like, yesterday. 

You felt your body acting on its own as you turned to face him, your instincts to close the gap and kiss him raging in your body. He looked down at you, smirking as if he knew exactly what you needed. 

“Hey, what’s going on?,” Thor grinned as he walked into the kitchen, hair wet from his post workout shower.  He looked between the two of you, confused about you standing so close in the kitchen and staring into each other’s eyes. 

Loki quietly chuckled, slowly wetting his lips with his tongue. Your eyes darted to Thor, suddenly feeling embarrassed as cleared your throat.

 “Nothing of interest,” Loki replied as he stepped away from you with a nod to his brother. 

What was that? You realized now your heart was racing, your body yearning for you and Loki to finish what you started. You eyed Loki suspiciously as he walked back towards his couch. He must’ve heard Thor coming- what was he doing? Teasing you on purpose? He always flirted, but this was next level.

You quickly spoke to Thor to fill the air that felt so tense from your moment with Loki. 

“Well I couldn’t sleep, this thunderstorm is loud. So, yea- I couldn’t sleep, was hungry, so I came down to make a snack,” you gestured at the half made PB&J. You returned to your task, messily putting it together. 

“Oh yea? I hadn’t noticed. Would you like me to stop it?,” Thor asked as he casually lifted his gallon jug of water like it weighed nothing, drinking out of it. 

“Wait, can you just stop this storm?,” you looked at him, puzzled as you walked toward him with your sandwich in hand. 

“Oh sure!,” he grinned widely. Out of the side of your eye, you saw Loki sit back down and return to his book. 

Thor pointed towards the ceiling, squinting for a moment. You listened and then walked over to the windows, gazing over the city. The rain had stopped. The sky was now clear, and you could faintly see the stars now. 

“Wow… you guys really are Gods, huh?,” you muttered in awe as you looked back at him.

“Yup! One of the many bonuses,” Thor smiled and winked at you while he pointed finger guns in your direction, and you felt a blush on your cheek. Those Odinsons were very full of themselves. 

Thor plopped down next to his brother, “Loki, what do you think of going out for a bit? I’ve heard there’s this new club-”

“Not interested,” Loki cut his brother off, licked his finger and turned a page, clearly annoyed at Thor’s boisterous presence.

You stood there another moment, replaying the last few minutes as you looked out the window. You and Loki had just been about to…something. And then nothing. Again. Loki definitely made his intention clear. But there’s nothing that can be done now that Thor’s here. 

You felt relief that there was definitely something between you, and you had to suppress the overjoyed smile creeping across your lips.

“Well, thanks Thor. I really appreciate it!,” you nodded and gave him a friendly wave as you decided to go back to your room. 

“Sweet dreams, Darling,” Loki cooed to you without looking up from his book. You felt a pang of need, briefly thinking of inviting him back to your room. Nope, bad idea- not in front of Thor, he was a total gossip.

“You too, Loki,” you shot back with flirty confidence, turning to hide the beaming smile you couldn’t contain any longer. 

~~~~~~

Day 17

You and Wanda meandered through the crowd, taking in the sights and sounds of the street fair. The storms had passed (thanks to Thor), and the weather was clear and bright. You felt great except for one thing…

“Any news? How is it going with your elusive orgasm?”, Wanda casually asked before taking a sip of her smoothie. 

“Ugh, still absent. I dunno, maybe it’s forever,” you dryly joked, hoping that wasn’t the case. 

“Hm…I think it’s time you had sex, instead of just masturbation. When are you going to ask for Loki’s help?,” she teased you, giving you a gentle nudge with her shoulder. 

“I don’t know what the hell he’s doing. He came up behind me the other night, like inches behind me, and was asking if there was ‘anything else he could help me with’,” you mocked Loki’s tone.

“What do you think he meant by that? Was he offering to fuck you?,” Wanda seemed as perplexed as you. 

 “It sure felt like it, I was about to jump his bones but then Thor walked in. But it’s like he’s deliberately torturing me- he immediately dropped it. It’s starting to piss me off. I haven’t seen him since that night, it’s almost as if he’s avoiding me. I’ve been intentionally in the common rooms more than normal, but Loki’s nowhere to be found!,” you shook your head, annoyed. 

“Why don’t you go to him, then? Just go to his room, make a move!,” Wanda encouraged as she smiled at a group of teens giggling as they walked by the two of you. 

“I don’t know, we keep getting interrupted. I really think it’s the universe telling me to back off. Plus, he's not exactly shy- if he wanted me, he'd just go for it,” you replied, feeling a bit dejected.

The two of you headed towards a jewelry stand, smiling politely at the woman who stood behind the table while the two of you perused her wares. 

“Hmm, perhaps you’re right. It is strange that he hits on you, but then doesn’t follow through. Maybe Loki isn’t the answer. What about Bruce? I bet he can keep a secret”, she asked thoughtfully, while looking at a necklace. 

“No way! I mean, he’s nice and all but not the kinda thing I’m into,” you replied with a shrug.

“Steve?”

You couldn’t hold back your look of distaste as you scrunched up your nose, making Wanda chuckle. 

“Don’t get me wrong, Steve is hot. And he’s a really nice, kind man…,” you walked back your immediate reaction, pondering the suggestion. 

“...But you prefer an asshole,” Wanda finished your thought. 

You laughed, maybe she was onto something.

“I hear Logan is joining the team next week,” she suggested as the two of you left the tent back into the street. 

“Too hairy, not really my type.” You shook your head adamantly. 

“I think the problem is that you’re too picky. And you’re fixated on a certain man. You should just show up at his door, and ask him to fuck you already. And if you’re not going to do that, move on,” a bit of frustration filled Wanda’s voice. 

“Yea, maybe you’re right. I’m going to have to make a decision one way or another, because I think this pent up horniness is messing with my mind- I’m going crazy!,” you said with an exasperated tone. 

As the two of you continued to explore, you glanced around the fair, looking for Loki. You knew he was here somewhere, Thor had talked about the two of them joining the rest of your team after their sparring time.

Your eyes found Loki across the street as you scanned the crowd. His outfit was impeccable as always- a tight emerald green sweater and black slacks that hugged his sculpted body perfectly. He always looked effortlessly cool and put together, and it drove you crazy. You felt an intense need to mess him up, ripping his clothes off of his body as the two of you devoured each other like animals. 

 Loki stood smiling his perfect smile as he took selfies with people- a group of women and men were slowly gathering around him. Others on the street started to gather around Thor and Steve, as well. The team didn’t normally all go out together, and now people were picking up on who you were. 

“Excuse me, you’re on the Avengers, right?”, a deep voice questioned from behind the two of you, breaking your concentration on Loki. You and Wanda turned around, realizing that crowds were not just forming around your teammates, but you two as well.

“Uh, yes,” you smiled hesitantly at the handsome man. He was tall, broad shouldered, and you could see his large chest muscles under his tight black t-shirt. His tanned skin complimented his chestnut wavy hair with blonde highlights. You had to stop yourself from undressing him with your eyes, your wanton desperation seeming to take over as you felt your heart race.

Wanda noticed your immediate reaction, and gently pushed you on your back, moving you closer to him. You shot her a look. 

“Wow, I just want to thank you, you know, for everything. Could I get a selfie?”, he smiled with attentive eyes. 

You suddenly felt flustered- nobody typically noticed you amongst the others, but it felt great. 

“Yea, of course,” you beamed, feeling your cheeks get hot as you posed. You noticed Wanda was also posing for a selfie, and a line had begun to form by her. You scanned the crowd again, realizing what was going on- crowds were forming around the Avengers, wanting autographs and selfies. 

“Thanks again for, you know, saving the world and all that…I live in the Village and once saw you and the others beating up some guys…,” the man shyly smiled at you, and you found yourself taken aback by how sweet he was despite his very buff exterior. 

“Oh, you know, just part of the job…,” you acted nonchalant, playing it cool as you flirtatiously pulled a strand of hair behind your ear and flashed him a smirk.

Suddenly, a shove from behind pushed your elbow, knocking your coffee out of your hand as you gasped. 

“Sorry!,” a teen yelled as he ran towards Tony for an autograph. You rolled your eyes at Tony, who could’ve stayed behind in the tower, but couldn’t help himself as he showed off his new suit to the forming crowds. 

“Oh no! Are you okay? Can I buy you another coffee?,” the handsome man next to you offered. He seemed very gentle and kind. You were wary, but in the back of your mind you thought that maybe this was exactly what you needed. 

“Yea I’m fine…but sure, I’ll take another coffee,” you smiled at him, as he took your hand and led you away from the crowd, towards a vendor stall. 

“My name’s Eric, by the way,” he nodded to you and gestured for you to order your replacement brew. You ordered and briefly wondered how you should play this. Was he being friendly or flirty? He’s cute, and you desperately needed to be fucked. You decided to go for it.

“Nice to meet you, Eric. Thanks for getting me another coffee, you didn’t have to. Are you sure your girlfriend wouldn’t mind?,” you smiled coyly.

You forgot how nice it was to flirt outside the tower. There was a whole city of available men and you’d been pining over a snobby prince with an attitude.

A snobby prince who was headed towards you. You caught a glimpse of Loki walking to the vendor where you and Eric stood. His face was placid, no strong emotions as he slowly strolled forward.

Eric laughed at your brazen flirtation, “No girlfriend. So would it be too forward of me to ask for your number?.” You looked into his hazel eyes, not seeing any malice, only warmth. Just what you needed- someone who was nice and direct, no more head games. 

“No, not too forward at all, I’d love to give you my number!”, you couldn’t help but blush and grin as you tried to continue your breezy facade. 

“Are you alright? I saw that man run into you,” Loki asked as he arrived next to the two of you, showing more concern for your well being than was necessary. Not even Steve rushed to your aid- because it wasn’t needed, it was just a spilled coffee and you’re a super soldier.

You decided to dismiss whatever Loki was up to.

“Oh yea, I’m fine, it wasn’t a big deal!,” you hand waved him away, hoping he’d take the hint. He’s done nothing but toy with you for the last couple of weeks, you’re not about to let him stop you from this.  

“Hi, I’m Eric, nice to meet you!,” Eric extended a hand to Loki, who immediately took it firmly. 

“Loki, God of Mischief, Prince of Asgard,” he said in a tone that could be easily considered condescending. You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. 

“Oh yea! Nice to meet you man, you’re Thor’s brother, right?,” Eric asked genuinely, not having a clue how incendiary that question was. Loki hated to only be known as "Thor's brother". You internally screamed and looked at him, praying he wouldn't make a scene. He gave a big smile, stepping away from Eric and closer to you.

“Yes.”

Loki didn’t elaborate, he just stood next to the two of you, lingering while you looked at Eric. A brief moment passed as the three of you stood silently, and you and Eric exchanged confused looks. Loki had managed to make this encounter incredibly awkward. Bastard.

Eric finally cleared his throat , “so…your number?”, he handed his phone to you. 

“Yes! Of course!,” you took his phone and put your number in, as Loki continued to stand there, watching quietly, his hands in his pockets and standing confidently reserved.

“Maybe we could grab dinner? I’m out of town for work the next few days, but we could go out when I get back?,” Eric asked hopefully, ignoring Loki like you were. 

“Sounds perfect,” you replied happily as you heard the notification of his test text coming through your phone. 

“Cool, it was great to meet you, text me!,” he smiled, waving to you as he walked back towards his friends in the crowd.

You watched him walk away for a moment, then remembered who was standing right next to you. You suddenly felt very angry. 

“What the hell was that, Loki?!,” you asked, smacking him on the arm. He just smirked down at you. Again, no sign of any affection towards you, Loki simply stood next to you.  

“Just a concerned teammate,” he casually replied, now turning his attention back to the crowds thinning out. 

“Why are you so concerned that I’m talking to another man?! What’s the matter- jealous??,” you remarked in a mocking tone, as you headed back towards Wanda. 

Loki laughed and turned to walk in the opposite direction of you, uninterested in continuing the conversation. You watched as he sauntered away, his regal, confident stride irritating you more. 

You threw your arms up, frustrated at his intrusion on your moment with Eric. This was deliberate now. He’s just trying to prevent you from being with someone else, but he doesn’t want you either. What a dick. 

Wanda flagged you down as she and Vision made their way towards you, the crowds thinning. 

“Well that guy was super cute! Do you think he has what it takes to cure you?,” Wanda cheerfully teased as she hooked arms with yours.

“Are you sick?,” Vision asked, sounding as concerned as an android could.

“Something like that,” you chuckled. The three of you continued to walk through the crowd, and you noticed Loki get swarmed again by a group of men and women. 

----

On the Edge Chapter List

Peachyjinx Masterlist

#loki smut #loki x reader #dom!loki x sub!reader #dom!loki smut #loki #loki series #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki show

[personasintro]

So, I started out a silent reader for MH. It’s now evolved to where I’ve read anything I can put my hands on that you’ve written. MH will always be my comfort story, but the latest chapter of Mono 🤌🤌

Mono hits differently for me. It was hard to read at first, purely because I’ve always had my own fertility issues. Being told since I was 14 (I’m 26 now) that I’d never be able to carry or have kids.. it stings when seeing it happen to so many other people. My best friend is the one who recommended your fics to me, and she gave me warning of Mono because of how hard it’s been for me. I can say now, that I’m glad I took the chance.

After a history of m*scarr*ages, I’m finally getting my rainbow. I found out early this year, and I’m due in October. And ironically, I’m having a little girl, too. She’s been active for a long, long while. I couldn’t help but laugh at seeing how OC was talking about how baby was moving. And then I imagined my own husband as Yoongi, with what his reaction was and still currently is. The shock, the anxiety, all of it. My husband and I have an open marriage, so even the part of how this started is somewhat relatable. Even if Yoongi wasn’t supposed to stick around at first. My husband still can’t believe it, and we’ve been married for almost 6 years.

I just want to say thank you. For someone who has always had a negative impact when it comes to fertility, seeing it in one of your stories makes it a little less painful. A little more seen. Especially as someone who has always wanted to be a mama, since a really young age. Thank you for writing something that not everyone sees or knows about, the impact it can cause on two people.

I can’t wait to see how this story progresses, along with everyone else. I’m so thankful for you. I’m so proud of you. Thank you, Mimi.

Awwww I’m gonna cry 🥹 congratulations bub!! 🌈 I’m so happy for you and the little angel you’re carrying! I wish you all the happiness and health 🫂 and shoutout to your best friend!! Thank you for this beautiful message 🩵 I’m the one completely thanking you!

#💜

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 12

chapter 22:

1. 😟😟 all james wants is for sirius to be there for james the way james ALWAYS was for sirius

2. 😟 james wished hodge happy birthday even though hodge died yesterday. i- i am not okay

3. “Regulus never fails to look up. Evan would be proud of him for that, he thinks.” 😧 that was vile to put in there

4. james has resorted to BEGGING for medicine from sirius and can’t understand why sirius won’t send any. this hurts so bad

5. nope. i’m done. i can’t read any more. james started looking forward to death cause he would be out of this arena and out of pain. jfc i’m done

6. anyways. i’m back cause i couldn’t stop reading.

7. REGULUS AND JAMES ARE REUNITED!!! THANK GOD!!! 😊

8. 😧 wait nevermind. james just mistook regulus for sirius. “James has never, not once in his life under any circumstances, mistaken Regulus for Sirius”

9. james is delulu from medicine and reg just found out that the plan has always been to get reg home. this hits like a motherfucking truck

10. james is high as a fucking kite, can’t figure out why “sirius” is being mean to him, cause he’s never been mean to him. and is also wondering why “sirius” is oddly attractive for being mean

11. it takes james half a chapter, and reg cutting his shirt for james to realize it’s not sirius. cause sirius has different scars. i love james sm 😭😭

12. “What was Sirius thinking? Drugging James? In the middle of the fucking hunger games? That might be the most idiotic thing Regulus has ever known his brother to do, and this is Sirius he's talking about, so that's saying a lot. Sirius once flipped a cigarette in the air and tried to catch it with his mouth while it was lit, and kept doing it until he could actually consistently manage it, no matter how much it burned him. Though, in fairness, he can still do that trick to this day.”

LMAO WHAT??? that’s so random and i love it

13. 😧 legit sobbing. reg says that james lost the spark in his eyes. and he’s the one person he expected to never lose his spark

14. reg reveals that they both can go home. james’ spark is back. i’m sobbing harder now. they’re so in love

15. i eat, breathe, and dream those author end notes. bizzarestars writes their end notes the way my brain processes the fic. <33

chapter 23:

1. starting the chapter off with pain, i see. losing vanity changed james. like. horribly changed him.

2. “What Regulus hates more than James is his suffering.” jfc he’s so emotionally constipated

3. james is sad and all reg can think is hmmmm i want him to start flirting with me again, because it meant he was happy bitch wtf

4. awww they’re cuddling and just got a package! my babies are gonna make it out!

5. reg realizes he has to put on a show, so he offers to feed james. and wants to gouge his eyeballs out for offering that. 😭😭😭😭

6. i’m dying from embarrassment but this is also so fucking funny. reg is like. let’s talk about our feelings. for each other. and james is just like *head tilt* ???

7. “"You weren't my first crush, James," Regulus whispers. "You were my first love."”

james didn’t just make reg feel good, he made reg feel and i am NOT okay.

8. “This whole time, Regulus has been steady on the fact that he wouldn't kiss James to save his own life, but he's apparently willing to do it to save James'.”

JFC why is he so emotionally constipated???

9. THEY KISS????? james is gonna be heartbroken when he realizes it was all an act

10. oh thank god james realized. at least it broke his heart now and not in two weeks

11. *squints* now reg has never wanted anything more than this kiss. girl. please. realize.

12. god, i’ve never read a kiss more beautifully and emotionally desperate written.

13. 😏 reg called him baby again!

14. oh god, maybe i’m just as bad as everyone in the hallow. maybe i’m just as bad as them. cause i enjoy their romance. i enjoy it so much. maybe i’m just as bad as the hallow for that. i- i think this every time i read the hunger games.

15. “James wants to sink his teeth into Regulus and leave the deep imprints of his teeth from one jutting hip bone to the other.” sometimes i forget that jegulus is a little unhinged in ways like this. and every time i’m reminded, I LOVE IT

16. “"You treat me like I'm stupid for daring to see good in people, but if there's no good in anyone, then what's the fucking point?"”

this entire section. this. this is what james is all about

17. 😟 authors note just told me i’m no better than a hallow. for my excitement over jegulus. and- yeah. i guess so. i’m so sorry y’all

#marauders #regulus black #james potter #jegulus #fanfic #sirius black #sunseeker #starchaser #crimson rivers

[elisysd]

Gold Rush Masterlist

Sequel to Cruel Summer (Charles Leclerc x OC), can be read independently

Prologue

1.Guess my childhood is over

2.Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

3.We are invincible, we are unstoppable

4.Vultures spinning up above for what's left of me

5.They say it's bad karma being such a heartbreaker

6.If you fail to plan, you plan to fail

7.Maybe together we can get somewhere

8.I've got memories and travel like gypsies in the night

9.Personally, I think you'd be better with somebody like me

10.Way down we go

11.That's why I'm lying to my therapist

12.You could be my luck even if the sky is falling down

13.Lately you've been searching for a darker place to hide

14.I could be so sweet if only I were naive

15.Burn, crash, romance, I’ll take what I can get from you

16.And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright

17.I’ve been thinking way too loud, I wish that I could block me out

18.And if the storm is hitting I'll try to keep you steady

19.Ask me what I earned from all those tears

20.All I know is this could either break my heat or bring it back to life

21.Sleeping's so tough you're burning up my mind

22.It's a love story baby just say yes

23.Cause space is just a word made up by someone who's araid to get too close

24.But there's a shining in the shadows

25.I'll be there till it all feels so big, till it all feels so small

26.I’ve been feeling everything from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth

27.Take the moment and taste it, you’ve got no reason to be afraid.

28.You've got a friend in me

29.Why don't you let me down, I'll let you do it again

30.Can you make it feel like home if I tell you you’re mine?

31.I know heaven’s a thing, I go there when you touch me

32.Maybe there's nothing after midnight that could make you stay

33.You're scared of love, well, aren't we all?

34.Don't get too close, it's dark inside, it's where my demons hide

35.Fear or love, baby? Don't say the answer

36.And what hurts the most is people can go from people you know to people you don't

37.Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?

38.What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around?

39.And I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you

40.You know I'm afraid of change, guess that's why we stay the same

41.How long can we be a sad son 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

42.If to change is what you need you can change right next to me

43.I tell myself I'm good, but I'm falling apart

44.Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?

45.Lean on me when you're not strong and I'll be your friend

46.I'll be late, but I could make it all up to you

47.I wanna be better, I wanna be new but I can’t be those things next to you

48.Knew we would crash at the speed that we were going

49.You said that you needed space, go on then, astronaut

50.I trace the evidence, make it make some sense, why the wound is still bleedin'

51. Heaven knows I should let go, it’s nothing that I don’t already know

52. Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned

53. You’re blowing through my mind like the hurricane

54. Did some force take you because I didn't pray?

55. Take a heart and take a hand, like an ocean takes the dirty sand

56. I know you're scared and your pain is imperfect but don't you give up on yourself

57. Lately she's been dressing for revenge

58. Hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end

59. I don't ask for much, gimme love

60. But I promise you this I'll always look out for you

Epilogue

BONUS CHAPTERS

Our first christmas

A trip to Bali

My place is yours 

We want you to be their godparents

Double trouble

Marry me?

A bold move

My favorite enemy

It’s not you and I anymore

Not this fucking family

#writing #fiction #charles leclerc #max verstappen #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen fanfic #f1 story #f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

[abiiors]

1. she's american // george daniel x oc

a/n: erratic is literally the only word i have to describe it. like i don't have a posting schedule, i don't have a masterlist for it yet (i'll add the link when i have one). idk how many chapters. this literally doesn't even have a canon-accurate timeline!! but i wrote something and i wanted to publish it so i did. hope you enjoy! discussions about it in my asks are always welcome hehe <3 cw: arguments and yelling?? can't really think of any hard warnings wc: 3.2k masterlist

it is a truth universally acknowledged that something must go wrong every time i land in london. this time, it’s matty texting me that he can’t come pick me up from the airport. 

soz, mate. his text reads, really urgent work came up. i’m sending a friend to pick u up tho. i’ll make it up to u tonight. xx. to compound the annoyance of it, a blast of july heat hits me square in the face when i step off the plane and onto the tarmac. 

“make it up” i lightly scoff to myself; make it up is code-word for plying my with cheap beer, greasy pizza and, sure, great weed. i have this routine rehearsed—it’s the same thing we’ve been doing since the age of 14. 

friend? i text back and start making my way towards immigration and the luggage carousels. heathrow is just as big as i remember—massive and winding and really fucking beige for some reason. stepping onto the escalator, i take another peek at my phone and at the three dots bouncing in place, waiting for him to finish typing his message. 

yeah. george. he responds.

george… i try to conjure up a face for the name. somewhere in the back of my mind, i know it’s familiar. george…matty’s friend george. my phone dings again. 

[attachment: 1 image]

it’s a photo of a man, a boy really… he looks like he’s matty’s age and it clicks in my head. this is george and i have most definitely seen him before. his wavy, dirty blond hair is piled on top of his head haphazardly, like he couldn’t be bothered with them at all. the dark roots peek from underneath. george stares directly at the camera, a straight face—straight nose and straight full lips. everything about him screams cool nonchalance. right down to the nondescript white t-shirt he’s wearing. 

and this boy is coming to pick me up after i’ve just travelled for eight hours all the way from new york. 

subconsciously, i sniff at my t-shirt. yep, the sweat combined with the general stink of the airport clings to me like cobwebs. what i really need is a long, cold shower followed by an even longer nap. what i get, however, is a long line at the immigration counter. 

passport clutched in my hand, i look around the area. behind me, an american couple chatters excitedly and plans their itinerary. ahead of me, a british mother reprimands her child for biting his nails. it’s jarring that the american couple’s accents are more familiar to me than the mother and her child’s. 

it’s jarring that despite being gone only four years, everything about london already feels foreign. 

“next please,” the immigration officer calls out, jerking me out of my thoughts. it’s a simple process really. once he sees my british passport, all he has to do is match my face to it and stamp it. 

“thanks,” i mumble when he hands it back to me. 

“welcome home,” he responds and smiles that kind, old man smile.

my heart snags on the word. home. and my life back in new york briefly flashes in front of my eyes; a quick montage of tall skyscrapers and glittery new york nights—but i shake my head and clear the thoughts away. 

yep, home is here now. and that’s all that matters.

bags in my hand, i make my way to the exit, craning my neck and looking all around me for any sign of the dirty blond hair from the photo. 

this is not how i had imagined it would be. i had imagined running into matty’s arms and breathing in his familiar scent, shoving each other playfully until we dissolved into fits of giggles. i had imagined familiarity and comfort; not having to find a practically unknown man in a sea of other unknown people. and even though i had his picture on my phone, i had no way of—

“cleo?”

i turn mid-thought at the sound of my name. the voice that speaks it is rich and deep, gravelly even. yet it’s not a voice i recognise. and then i spot him standing about ten feet away from me. george. 

he stares at me in a scrutinising way, then looks at the phone in his hand and looks back up at me. looks like i’m not the only one with a stranger’s picture in my phone. 

“george?” i raise my hand in greeting and smile slightly. there’s no doubt it’s a tired, pathetic smile but it will have to do. 

this is the first time i’m seeing him properly. and wow, he’s tall. all my life i’ve been used to matty and his almost six feet (the thought makes me smile, i know how mad he gets at the “almost”) but george is so much taller, with broad shoulders and toned arms that are littered with tattoos; colourful tattoos that i try not to gawk at but fail anyway. 

he nods once and starts walking in my direction; long graceful steps that should not belong to someone so huge. and yet in five long strides, he’s covered the entire distance between us. 

subconsciously, i lose a sigh. after the last 24 hours, all i want is for someone to carry my bags for me and preferably gently manhandle me so i won’t have to do the laborious task of walking. 

george does no such thing. 

he walks towards me and right past. and then, while i stand there gaping slightly, he turns around. “the car is parked this way.”

translation: are you an idiot? 

that’s what his tone screams anyway, and confusion along with annoyance washes over me. what the fuck is his problem? i get that he probably got saddled with the task of picking me up on a hot summer day but taking it out on me is hardly the fair thing to do. i roll my eyes and follow him out of the airport and towards the car park. 

dragging my two large trolley bags behind me and trying to keep up with his long strides is no easy task. by the time the entrance to the car park comes into view, i’m jogging lightly and panting to keep up with him. sweat rolls down my back in rivulets while the sun blazes overhead. it’s only 10 am but i am ready to go back to bed for six hours preferably. 

fuck george and fuck his long legs. i refuse to ask him to slow down. 

a mildly beaten-down ford focus comes into view and george opens the trunk before motioning at my bags. i resist the urge to baulk at him—so now he wants to help? wordlessly, i hand the luggage to him and mumble a quick thanks. 

then i turn around and make my way to the passenger side door. 

i realise my mistake far too late. or rather as soon as our hands brush, attempting to open the same door and i jerk mine away like i’ve just touched a live wire. george looms behind me, quiet judgement radiating off of him, probably wondering why i’m on his side of the car. 

i turn around, face burning with embarrassment and something unexplained, only to come face to face—face to chest, rather—with a very unimpressed george. heat radiates off his body this close, heat and an earthy, sweet perfume that i’ve never smelled on anyone else before. 

“sorry,” i back away, “american habits.” but his face remains passive and his eyes trained on the door handle. 

“right. sorry,” i squeak and practically run back to the right door this time. 

i curse softly, at the wind, this entire day. this city and this entire fucking island. but mostly i curse at stupid american habits and stupid british girls who get used to them.

london is crowded as always; at least, that part is similar to new york. except here i see red double-deckers crawling along leisurely instead of yellow cabs zooming by, waiting for no one. in the twenty minutes, we’ve been on the road, the sun has disappeared giving way to grey clouds. the only sound in the car is the whirr of the aircon and the radio playing some old 80s hits at a low volume. everything else is an awkward silence. 

“so matty’s not free today?” i ask. well, i try but all i get from him is a shake of the head before he angrily overtakes the car in front of us. 

“and he’s not going to be free all day?”

“dunno. later maybe, in the evening.”

that’s the most words he’s said to me at one go. and it’s also a pretty clear indicator that he’s done with this conversation—well, ‘conversation’ is pushing it anyway. i just look out the window and at the taxi next to us. 

it’s the american couple from before; excitedly looking out their windows and pointing at all the buildings. i imagine it’s their first time, they certainly have the ‘americans in europe’ air about them. i imagine their day is going leagues better than mine is; i imagine them going back to their hotel room, spending their day being loved up and excited about their holiday. they’ll take photos, eat nice food. they’ll laugh around being silly and saying exaggerated british slang in exaggerated english accents. and then they’ll go home, back to some place that is theirs. 

i snap my gaze back to my lap. 

london is not so bad. matty is here. if i could make a life in new york from scratch then i can do it again. besides i already have friends here, it can’t be that difficult. right?

my phone buzzes in my hands bringing me out of my thoughts. 

nate. 

i have the sudden and violent urge to be carsick. nate, after everything, he has the nerve to try to call me. with more force than necessary, i stab the red button and close my eyes. if george has noticed any of this, he doesn’t react. 

images flash in front of my eyes in a dizzying blur after that—nate. new york. nights that used to blend into dawns. nate. champagne that flowed freely. laughter. friends. happiness. nate. heartbreak. and quite possibly utter ruin, if i want to be dramatic about it.

my phone buzzes again and this time i don’t even pay attention to it. 

george, however, side-eyes it and then shakes his head. “are you gonna get that?” 

i whip my head to look at him, riffling through several responses in my head to politely tell him that this is none of his business. 

half an hour of knowing him and i can already feel annoyance settling between us. george stares at me while we wait for the light to turn green. one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows is raised high, his mouth twisted in almost a grimace. what the fuck is his deal? has he never heard a phone buzzing before?

“no,” i reply curtly and go back to staring straight ahead, glaring at the double decker blocking my view of anything else. 

half a minute later, the phone buzzes again. and george stares. again. 

“for fuck sake,” he grumbles to himself, looking like he’d rather run us straight into the bus than sitting here with me for two more minutes. 

“have i done something to you?” i turn to face him fully, eyes trained on him as he shifts the gear and starts driving again. 

his jaw ticks at my question. i imagine his molars grinding down hard against each other in frustration as his fingers drum restlessly on the steering wheel. 

“no,” he grits out in the same tone i had before. 

“then what the f–then what is your problem with me?” i ask, controlling myself last minute. there’s no need to get rude just yet. 

george, obviously, ignores that and continues to mutter something to himself that i can’t quite clearly make out. 

fuck this and fuck him.

i think back to the last 24 hours i’ve had. i think back to packing my bags while sobbing so hard that i couldn’t see two inches in front of me. of having to figure out a way to get to the airport without nate. of having no one to say goodbye to, no one to tell me that they will miss me. i think back to four years in new york and how by the end of it i was almost back to square one. 

“it’s distracting,” he replies and i resist the urge to scoff. it’s hardly that bad. it’s literally just a phone buzzing. “if you don’t want to get it then turn it off.”

i’m almost certain that by now my jaw is on the floor of his messy car—no, seriously. i don’t know how someone would want to have that many receipts and empty beer cans in their backseat—but george has some nerve!

“what the fuck!?” i glare at him, not even bothering to conceal my irritation now and i have no doubt that if it weren’t for the busy road, he would be glaring right back at me. his hands grip the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white. 

“listen,” i continue, “i know you’re mad that matty made you come pick me up—”

“oh you think you know why i’m pissed off?” he retorts, cutting me off halfway. strike fucking two. 

“but i’m not going to sit here and take your shit.” i finish, ignoring him entirely. almost as if the universe were on my side, george turns onto a familiar street. extremely familiar, in fact. i know where i am, i know matty’s house is a five minute walk from here. internally i whoop with joy. 

“in fact,” i continue, mustering up all my snark, “i am not going to sit here at all.” then like a maniac, i put one hand on the door handle and jut my chin up in defiance. “stop the car right now and open the trunk.”

predictably, george stares at me like i’ve lost my mind. and maybe i really have because the next thing i’m doing is unbuckling my seatbelt and tightening my hold on the door handle. 

“stop the car right now, george or i swear to god, i’ll start screaming for help.”

if i weren't so pissed off, it'd be funny how his eyes go as wide as saucers in the span of half a second, how fast his head whips to me.

“you are fucking INSANE!” he yells and pulls over as fast as he can, “fuck, i don’t know what matty sees in you,” he spits and yanks his door open. 

i sit there frozen for a second, all the anger and snark almost leaving my body at his words. almost. but then i hear the trunk opening and the sound of two bags being harshly thrown onto the pavement. 

letting out a string of curses that are aimed at him, his family and at least ten generations of his ancestors, i stomp over to where he’s thrown my bags casually. i don’t stop there. i march up to him, staring him right in the face until i am on the curb and tall enough to reach his chin. 

“you!” i stab my finger in his chest, “don’t get to say that about me.”

george rolls his eyes looking down at me as if i were about as threatening as a baby penguin. and i have the sudden and insane urge to climb on his car so i would finally be tall enough to look down my nose at him. 

“i don’t know what matty sees in you!” i continue the finger-stabbing, just once more to drive the point home but the insufferable man in front of me only scoffs lightly. 

“very original of you,” he drawls, “now if you’re done…” he trails off before his massive hand wraps around my wrist and pushes my hand away. his fingers are warm and rough. calloused hands. 

someone who’s used to being rough with everything he touches. 

and just like that, he’s walking away and back into his car while i’m left fuming on the pavement. honestly fuck george and fuck everything else, i’m just ready to write this entire day off and rot in bed. 

with more force than necessary, i start yanking my bags behind me, practically stomping till the end of the lane where matty’s house stands. george and his car don’t move. 

i imagine him in there fuming like i am right now and then scream out in frustration. a bird in a nearby tree flies away in panic. 

i should not be thinking about that dickhead at all. 

when i’m halfway through the lane, the car starts back up. driving behind me, following like a creep. well, that’s an exaggeration—i imagine he has to report back to matty that i made it to the house safe. still, i want to turn around and yell at him to fuck off. 

between planning his evil demise and chanting all my angry thoughts, i finally reach the house at the end of the lane and freeze. because i realise i don’t have his keys, matty’s not home and i have no way of getting in. and the only person who probably has said keys is currently sitting in his car right behind me. 

slowly, like in one of those cheesy horror movies, i turn around and look in the direction of the car. through the window, i see george rhythmically tapping on the steering wheel, glancing at me while a slow smirk curls onto his face. i can feel the smugness radiating off of him all the way to where i’m standing. 

evil little shit. 

he takes his sweet little time, getting out the car and sauntering toward the front door. before he gets to the door, he stops in front of me, face carefully blank once again with only a hint of arrogance in his eyes. 

“need my help again?” george asks and my god does it take all my restraint not to punch him right in the face. 

“just give me the bloody keys and leave, george,” i spit at him and watch his face morph into confusion. 

he stares at me for a second longer than he should, eyebrows creasing and eyes hardening as wariness creeps in. “why would i give you my keys?”

“so i can get in, you idiot—wait your keys?”

i open and close my mouth like a fish, trying to make sense of his words. he doesn’t mean what i think he means, right? this is all just a stupid misunderstanding? 

“my keys,” he confirms and dangles them right in front of my face so that a tiny metal g smacks me in the nose. 

my throat feels drier than the nevada desert. beads of sweat roll down the back of my neck. and it’s not just sweat from the humidity—no, this is a cold sweat. impending doom and bad omens and whatnot. 

trying to clear my throat, i speak again in a rough, whispery voice, “why do you have keys to matty’s house?” 

but even i know how stupid that sounds before it’s even left my mouth. because why would he have keys to matty’s house. unless…

unless it’s not just his house. and george is not just his best friend. no, george, stupid and utterly infuriating george is also his housemate. 

and now he’s about to be mine too. 

lemme know what you think <33

taglist: @scooby-doodoo, @partoftheairforce, @justgoatsbreakinghearts0855 @beachesgetpeaches, @you-muppet, @mcabister, @alexmarie29, @at-her-very-foreign, @hfkait, @squishysoupy @sierraeslaprincesa @harrie-fic-center @alien-girl-violet @thereisaplaceintheheart @kennedy-brooke @lolidontknowanymore @theoriginalwhatsername @celestcies

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#the 1975 #george daniel #george daniel x oc #george daniel x reader #george daniel x you #matty healy #ross macdonald #adam hann #the 1975 fic #the 1975 fanfic #enemies to lovers #george x oc #george x reader #george x you #george daniel fanfiction #george daniel fanfic #keep your enemies closer

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain Part 23

Hey, guys! This story is back, baby! And is the start of the four chapters that are all one run on chapter basically. You'll see why at the end of this chapter I held off until I got the resolution written.

I still have some room on the tag list but not much, only six slots. So once it fills up, that's it, I will take no more requests for the list once it hits fifty.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22

****

There wasn’t time for Eddie to see Steve and Wayne before the show, well for any of them to see their loved ones before the show, really.

Eddie’s knee was bouncing as hard as it was when he played in front of Steve for the first time.

They had all met Metallica at the sound check and had hit off, much to everyone’s surprise. But they had their own pre-show rituals and Corroded Coffin had theirs.

“Fuck,” Jeff said, coming back from the bathroom. “I think I’ve thrown up more times tonight than I did that time we all thought it would fun to main line tequila shots for two hours straight.”

Everyone winced in sympathy. That was a bad time for everyone all around.

“Who would have thought that after years of hard work,” Brian said, “that we would be opening for Metallica? Holy shit, this is our lives!”

Jeff smiled, looking a little less green around the gills. “Mandy said that if I waited for us to be ready, we would never take that chance,” he said, rubbing his hands on his pants. “And she’s right. We’ll never get a chance like this ever again.”

Gareth chewed on his thumb, gnawing at it worryingly. Eddie got up and put his arm around their youngest member. “Hey, this isn’t us selling out. This isn’t us giving up our dedicated following. This is us testing the waters to see if this is something we would enjoy doing.” He kissed the top of Gareth’s head. “We won’t know if we prefer smalls gigs at the Nightmare Hole over stadiums, if we haven’t played stadiums, okay?”

Gareth nodded. “I’m just being ridiculous.”

Jeff came over sat down on the other side of him. “No you’re not. It’s a valid concern. But Eddie’s right, too. How do you know you prefer intimate sessions over roaring crowds if you’ve never played to those roaring crowds?”

Gareth sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

Brian tilted his head. “It’s the sound, isn’t it?”

All three other members turned to him. Gareth’s jaw dropped. He opened and closed his mouth several times trying to refute Brian’s claim, but found he couldn’t.

Jeff twisted in his seat to look at Gareth a little better. “Loud noises bother you?”

“Gare-bear...” Eddie said softly. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Gareth blushed and looked at his hands, picking at the skin around his nails. He shrugged. “I never thought about it. Until Bri said something, I didn’t even realize that might be why.”

Brian had been digging in his bag while they talked and chose that moment to brandish his find. “Tada!” He waved the noise canceling headphones around like a flag. “Wear these!”

Gareth stood up and gingerly took them from Brian and help them tenderly. He looked up Brian like he was a god damned hero.

Brian tapped on them. “Just plug them into little sound device they gave us and bam! No more sound. Or at least very little.”

Gareth fell on his friend giving him the biggest hug. Brian hugged him back fiercely.

“I just want to make sure you have fun out there, okay?” he whispered.

Gareth nodded.

There was a knock on the door and a stage manager poked his head in.

“Five minutes guys.”

Gareth straightened up and composed himself as his friends strapped on their instruments.

They all filed out but Gareth hung back for a moment. Eddie turned and smiled at him.

“Come on,” he said fondly, holding out his hand. “Let’s go make some noise.”

Gareth laughed. “Hell yeah!”

*

Steve was showed to the VIP box where a lot of people were already there. Some of them he knew like Gethin and Miranda. Wayne, too. Most of them were complete strangers and suddenly he felt like he didn’t belong here.

Everyone else here was family. Steve wasn’t even a boyfriend. Not yet anyway. They had barely kissed the once before this landed on their laps. Eddie even had to cancel his tattoo appointment for today. That’s how new this all was.

He took a step back. Then two. He was about to turn and run when Miranda spotted him.

“Steve!” she called out, making every head turn his direction.

Which did not help his feelings inadequacy in the slightest.

She leapt to her feet and dragged him over to sit between her and Wayne.

“I’ll introduce you all after,” she said. “So glad you could make it. Jeff was saying he was worried you wouldn’t be able to because of work.”

Steve blushed. Which meant Eddie had been terrified. “I wouldn’t have missed this for anything.”

She raised an eyebrow and twisted around to look him in the eye. “You sure? Because it looked like you were going to bolt to me.”

Steve shook his head. “I would have found somewhere else to watch them. But I don’t belong here with family and the significant others. I’m just...me.”

Miranda slumped down in her seat with a sigh. “Steve, of course you belong here. Eddie only had two people in the whole world he wanted to see him open for one of the biggest metal bands in the world. And you’re sitting next to other one.”

Steve looked over at Wayne who chuckled.

“Do we have to tie you down, Steve?” he asked fondly.

Steve shook his head. “No, sir. I’ll be good.”

Wayne hummed. “Glad to hear it. Now quiet down. My boy is about to play.”

Steve smiled for the first time since arriving at the arena.

The house lights went down and the stage lights went up. Steve leaned forward, elbows on his knees, chin propped up on his fists. Eddie was always beautiful to behold, but fuck. Like this, under the spotlights? He was incandescent.

Eddie leaned into the microphone and introduced his band to the audience.

“We don’t usually play other people’s music, but we got permission to do this one,” Eddie said. He nodded to Brian, who grinned.

Corroded Coffin’s bassist began to play, the first few notes in and the crowd went apeshit. Completely crazy. Steve turned to Miranda. “Shit. I think I know this one. It’s Master of Puppets, right? From Metallica?”

Miranda nodded. “Damn straight it is.”

Steve was on his feet screaming in an instant. Everyone was cheering and having a good time. Maybe he shouldn’t be here, but until someone said something, he was going to cheer Eddie on the loudest. He loved his metal boyfriend with all his heart.

*

Eddie stumbled off the stage covered in sweat and higher then he’d ever been on weed. The rest of the band was jumping and screaming too. There was no greater feeling in the world.

They got better than front row seats to Metallica as they watched from backstage.

Even after thirty-five years they still knew how to bring the house to their knees.

They celebrated with the band for a bit before their families were ushered in. Eddie had even cleared it with the band for Dustin and his friends to come meet them but only for five minutes.

Dustin and Mike were freaking out, but Will hung back, still shy. But Lars came over and talked to him for a minute and that really made Will’s day. Hell, his entire year if he was being honest.

They all filed out leaving the ten family members alone with the boys of Corroded Coffin. Gareth’s parents and twin were fawning over him calling him brave and saying how proud they were of him breaking out of his comfort zone.

Jeff’s dad and Mandy’s mom were huddled over in the corner with the couple, just hugging each other tight. No words needed.

Brian had his sister and Cecil and his sister chatting excitedly, hands waving about as they broke down their favorite moments of the concert.

Eddie picked Steve up and whirled him around kissing him soundly on the lips. “Baby, did you see us out there?”

Wayne chuckled. “Oh just him and about thirty thousand other people.”

Eddie kissed him on the cheek fiercely. “I’ve never felt anything like it! It was so amazing.”

“You were amazing, Eds,” Steve said. “All of you were. It’s you guys were made for that stage.”

Eddie kissed him again. “I’m so glad you were able to make it! I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to come.”

Steve kissed the side of Eddie’s mouth tenderly. “Well you see I had a cancellation this afternoon, so I was able to shift my schedule to accommodate my boyfriend opening for Metallica.”

Eddie blushed. “I’m sorry I had to cancel, baby.”

“I’m not mad, sunshine,” Steve assured him. “I’m happy for you.”

They kissed again.

Wayne waved Steve off so that he could hug Eddie. “I’m proud of you. Now don’t be getting too famous to see me, you hear?”

Eddie’s eyes welled up and his pressed his lips together. “I would never. I promise. I’ll always come to you, I swear it.”

Soon it was time to pack it all up and hit the road for home.

Everyone said their goodbyes and they all parted ways. With Eddie promising to stop by the shop tomorrow to reschedule his appointment.

Steve was beaming. High off the euphoria of watching Eddie live out his dream. He had never felt like this about anyone before and he couldn’t wait to tell everyone about how awesome Eddie did and how the crowd went wild for their music.

*

He really should have seen it coming. He should have been prepared. But he wasn’t.

Eddie didn’t come into the shop that day, because he called instead. Metallica had offered to let them opening for them for the rest of their tour. For the next two weeks, Corroded Coffin would be going on the road with one the world’s biggest metal bands.

And leaving Steve behind.

He fought hard to be happy for his boyfriend. But everything between them was too new. Too tender.

They didn’t even get to say goodbye in person and Steve was left with that feeling of not being good enough.

For anyone.

****

Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

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#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #tattoo artist steve #autistic gareth

[bobohu4eva]

Good to You - Part 2

Characters: Idol Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Maid AU, fluff, smut

Warnings for this chapter: drugs kinda?

WC: 6.5k

Tag list: @scentlacigarette

Masterlist

Baekhyun was a singer. Even if you’d known nothing of him and his work, you would’ve found this out regardless, because the man was always singing. Baekhyun was many things, but he was not a quiet person by any means. Which is why when he was silent for a whole day, you knew something was wrong. He had been home all day, but the only thing you heard was the sound of his TV through his bedroom door. 

You weren’t sure if it was really your place to say anything, but by now you cared for him too much not to worry. So, at the end of your shift, you knocked lightly on his bedroom door until you heard a quiet ‘come in.’ 

Baekhyun was sitting in bed, red nosed, with a box of tissues on his lap and a bottle of pain reliever on his nightstand. 

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, you’ve been so quiet all day.” You spoke softly, taking in the image of the man before you. 

He smiled, realizing how much he liked the idea of you worrying about him. How cute. 

“I’m okay, it’s just a cold. Are you done for the day?” He asked, and you nodded. 

“Are you sure there isn’t anything you want me to grab for you before I go? A glass of water? Some tea?” 

He chuckled and shook his head, “I’m fine, thank you though.” You nodded again and gave him a smile and you were about to close the door when you saw him start to get up out of bed, and you almost had the door shut when you heard a loud thud. When you opened it again to see what had happened, you saw Baekhyun groaning, laying at the side of his bed, slowly starting to sit himself up. 

He said he was fine but if he passed out just from standing up, he definitely was not, at least in your eyes. You rushed over to help him back into bed. 

“Oh my god are you okay?” 

He was rubbing the side of his head with his eyes squeezed shut. He must've hit it on something when he passed out. 

“Fuck..” He mumbled, trying to get a grip and come back to his senses although his vision was still blurry and his head was still pounding. 

You were crouched down next to him but you quickly realized that you had no idea what to do and the idea of helping him up or touching him in any way really was too intimidating. You’d never gotten that close before and you weren’t sure if that was appropriate. 

He was still trying to reorient himself and when he finally realized that you were right next to him, wide eyed, trying to help him up, he couldn’t help but let out a disappointed groan. He was embarrassed. The last thing he wanted was for you to see him like this. 

“Are you okay?” You asked him again, now that his eyes were open and he seemed a bit more aware of his surroundings. 

He nodded and you felt his hand on your shoulder, and you helped him get back up and into bed. You could tell how embarrassed he still was. You didn’t want to make matters even more uncomfortable for him so you quickly excused yourself. 

“I’m going to grab you some tea and something to eat.” You said before heading to the kitchen.

You made some tea and heated up some soup and soon you were knocking on the door to his room again.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly as you sat the tray with the food down on the bed next to him. He looked so tired and defeated, you could only think about how badly you wanted to help him feel better. 

“No need to apologize, everyone gets sick sometimes. Just don’t strain yourself too much, alright?” 

“I have 14 hours of back to back schedules tomorrow.” He sighed. 

“What? Are you serious? Can’t you call in sick or something?” You asked, slightly shocked, as you sat down on the edge of his bed. 

“That’s not really how that works unfortunately. I’ve had to deal with this a few times before and it sucks, but I’ll live.” 

“Do you get sick a lot?” 

“Yeah, kind of. But I’m a big boy, I can handle myself. No need to worry about me, I hate when people pity me like that.” 

You frowned. “It’s okay to take a break and let people help you. Especially when you’re sick.” 

He sighed. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm okay, really. Just go home and get some rest.” 

It felt wrong to leave him there like that, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome either. 

“You're sure you don’t need anything else?” 

He nodded and you supposed you did all you could and went home. You just hoped he would be okay at work the next day. 

It wasn’t that Baekhyun didn’t want you to stay or didn’t want your help, he just felt bad asking you to stay so long. It was already late in the evening, and you had your own life. He didn’t want to keep you from that. 

Some time had passed and he was starting to feel thirsty, and he needed water anyway if he was going to take some medicine to help him sleep. His whole body ached and he knew it would be a struggle even just getting to the kitchen and back, but he wanted to get it over with. He moved slowly, trying not to overexert himself, but as soon as he started to stand up his vision started to go black again so he quickly sat back down. He hadn’t felt this terrible in ages and the more he thought about the day he was going to have to have tomorrow, the more he regretted sending you home. It felt selfish to ask you to come back, but he didn’t know what else to do and was only feeling worse as the evening drew on. 

You had gotten comfortable on your couch when your phone lit up and you saw a text from him. 

“You were right. I feel like absolute shit, I can’t even get out of bed. I’ll pay double if you can stay here for the next few days until I’m back to normal. I’m really sorry.”

You smiled at the message, and got up to grab some of your belongings before heading back to his apartment. It was going to be a long night, but you were just glad he was accepting some kind of help.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m on my way.”  

On the way over you grabbed some medicine and when you arrived you made some more tea for him to take it with. 

He looked like hell. You weren’t surprised that he called for you back with the state he was in. When you brought him his tea he was shivering, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and all the color in his face was gone. 

“I’m sorry again, and thank you so much.” He said as he held the warm mug, enjoying how it heated up his cold hands. 

“Are you cold?” You asked. 

He nodded, so you went to grab some more blankets from the living room and gently laid them over him. 

“You really don’t have to thank me, or feel bad. Just get some rest okay? If you need anything you can text me.” 

He nodded weakly and with that you left the room. 

It felt odd sleeping in his spare bedroom that first night. The bed was much bigger than yours at home, and the sheets were softer. You liked how the sheets smelled like him since they’d been washed with the same detergent he used. It was unbelievably cozy, but unfortunately you still wouldn’t be getting much sleep. Now that he knew you were there and he’d finally let himself accept your help, he was texting you every couple hours for something. First he got too hot, then too cold, then he was thirsty, and so on. But you didn’t mind. You were just glad you could be there for him. 

The next day you kept yourself busy getting groceries and preparing food for the upcoming week. You weren’t usually there that much so you weren’t sure what to do but you still wanted to make yourself useful somehow. All day you hoped that Baekhyun was doing alright. But based on how the night before had gone, you weren’t optimistic. Having to work such long hours when you're that sick just seemed awful. 

You had passed out watching a drama when you heard the front door open, waking you up. You got up and shimmied into some sweatpants to go check on him but by the time you made it to the living room he was already asleep on the couch, still fully dressed and made up from what you assumed must’ve been a photoshoot. He had probably been too tired to even bother making it to his room. 

You knew he would regret it in the morning if he slept with all that makeup still on, so you went to the bathroom to find a makeup wipe. When you returned you got to work wiping the makeup off his face. As the makeup came off you were greeted with the same pale, tired face from the night before, yet you still found him beautiful. He was just a gorgeous man, and no sickness could ever hide that. You wished he could get a break, to rest and heal. He was overexerting himself so much and as someone who really cared for him, it hurt to see.  

His sleeping face looked so peaceful and content, you felt relieved that he was finally able to rest. You might’ve been enjoying yourself too much, grinning at how lovely his cheeks felt under your hands. Everything about him just seemed so soft and beautiful and welcoming, you felt obsessed. 

The more you found yourself taking care of him the more you felt the pangs in your heart at how much you liked him. How was it possible for anyone to be around him regularly and not fall in love? Somehow he seemed to be completely without flaws, aside from how reluctant he was to accept help from others or take a break for a while.  

You also didn’t understand how it was possible for him not to have some beautiful wife or girlfriend. During your time working for him he’d never mentioned a girlfriend, and you never found anything that would suggest anyone staying over. He had to have a long line of women, just from his day to day life that would love to have him but he didn’t seem to even entertain the idea for some reason. 

It wasn’t that you thought all idols were assholes, you just assumed that with how many women basically worshiped men like him that many would take advantage of it and sleep around, often treating the girls very poorly in the process. You’d had some unpleasant breakups yourself that left you guarded and skeptical of men who seemed too good to be true. At first you’d been skeptical of Baekhyun too, but eventually you realized that you really had no reason to doubt his sincerity. You were in his home all the time, yet you had never seen or experienced anything that would suggest he had something to hide. He was just a genuinely good person and it was almost confusing to you.  

You weren’t sure if this was even okay, to be wiping the makeup off his sleeping face, but for some reason you didn’t care. You knew that he wouldn’t be angry with you for it. Such a thing was difficult to even imagine. He never seemed to get angry really, or at least if he did he did a very good job of keeping it to himself. You shuddered at the thought of him ever getting mad and yelling at you. You hoped you’d never have to experience that. 

Once you’d done your best to get the makeup off his face you let him be, setting a glass of water on the coffee table for him when he woke up. You went back to the guest room and quickly dozed off as well.

You woke up to your phone buzzing, and when you picked it up to check you saw a text from Baekhyun. He must’ve woken up at some point and gone to his room. He was hungry. 

It was 3 in the morning but you still found yourself getting up and heating up some food for him. When you knocked on his door and let yourself into his room you were greeted by a big goofy smile and a small squeal of excitement. He must be doing better then, you thought, as you set his food down in front of him. You also couldn’t help but be extremely aware of how very shirtless he was.

“Y/n,” He drew it out, before stopping to let out a giggle. “ Thank youuu.” 

You couldn’t help but smile at his silly antics. “You seem to be doing better.” 

He nodded. “Chanyeollie made me go to a doctor and I got medicine and now everything feels so nice and warm and cozy.” 

“Ahh,” You responded, quickly realizing that it was his medicine making him like this. “Well, is there anything else you need?” 

He pouted at your words. “You’re leaving?” 

“Baekhyun, it’s three in the morning.” 

“But I’m lonely.” He complained, giving you his best puppy eyes, and you knew you were fucked. “Stay, please?” 

You knew this was a terrible idea but you couldn’t say no to him when he asked you so sweetly. You sighed, and closed the door behind you standing awkwardly at the other end of his bedroom. There wasn’t really any furniture other than his bed, but the idea of sitting next to him there made you blush. What on earth was he thinking asking you to stay with him there? 

“Come hereee.” He whined again, doing grabby hands at you, and reluctantly you sat down on the opposite end of the bed. He picked up the TV remote and put on a movie and you sat there and watched it with him while he ate. When he was finished he put the empty plate aside and before you could protest he was cuddling up next to you, resting his head on your lap and wrapping his arms around you. 

“Thank you for everything. I really love having you here. You take such good care of me.” 

You stayed frozen, not sure what to do or say. Baekhyun was not supposed to be touching you this much, and his words also felt too intimate. He was playing a dangerous game, acting like this towards you when you already had such strong feelings for him. You so badly wanted to reciprocate it all but you knew that wasn’t right either. He was your boss, and he was only acting this way because his medicine was making him loopy. 

You thought about moving away or even leaving the room all together but when you looked down at him he looked so peaceful and happy that you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. You wondered how long it had been since he’d been held like this, but with how tightly he kept his arms around your waist and the look of content clear on his face, it must’ve been a while. So you stayed there like that, letting him do as he pleased, and you even let yourself enjoy the feeling a little. Of course it was only because of the medicine, but you still cherished the feeling of holding him close. 

He shifted and you let out a surprised gasp when his cold hands pushed under your shirt, resting over the bare skin of your waist as his hold around you tightened. 

“You’re so warm.” He mumbled, eyes still shut with a lopsided smile on his lips. “And soft…” His hands were moving on your waist now, and you felt your whole body burning with embarrassment as he kept running his hands along your bare skin. 

His eyes opened and they found yours and he was once again wearing a silly looking smile, eyes tired and heavy as he kept looking at you. 

“And pretty.” 

Somehow you managed to blush even harder than you already were. Byun Baekhyun had just called you pretty. Of course you didn’t think you were terrible looking or anything, you thought you were okay, but to hear him of all people tell you that you looked pretty had your chest tightening and heart racing.

When you woke up the next morning you were afraid to go check on him. You didn’t know if you had it in you to repeat everything from last night. Your thoughts had kept you up nearly all night, even after Baekhyun had fallen asleep and you went back to the other room. But you knew that he was still sick and still needed your aid, so you dragged yourself up out of bed and knocked lightly on his door. 

When he invited you in he wasn’t smiling like he had been the night before, and his face was once again void of any color. The medicine must’ve worn off, and he was back to being his usual self, although he also seemed to be quite weak again. 

“How are you feeling?” You asked. 

“Tired.” He replied. “That medicine Chanyeol’s doctor gave me messed me up. I hardly even remember how I got to bed after taking it.” 

“You don’t remember any of last night?” 

“I just know I woke up on the couch and then went to the bathroom to wash up and take that medicine, and then everything went black.”

“Oh..” 

He didn’t remember any of it. He must’ve been so high off whatever those pills were that he had no idea what he’d been saying or doing. You suddenly felt gross for how much you’d let him touch you when he obviously didn’t mean any of it. 

Of course he didn’t mean it. Of course he didn’t actually find you attractive. He was so far out of reach, you cursed yourself for even letting yourself get caught up in such a silly fantasy. 

“Thank you by the way.” 

“Huh? For what?” You asked. 

“For taking my makeup off for me after I fell asleep out there, I hate falling asleep with all that stuff still on my face, it always feels so gross to wake up to later.” 

“Oh, it’s no problem.” You felt yourself blushing again. “You really don’t remember anything from last night?”

“Just taking that medicine and going back to my room, I guess I probably fell asleep. Did anything happen?” 

“No, nothing happened.” You replied. “Just wondering.”

That day, to your relief, Baekhyun didn’t have quite as busy a schedule. He took his medicine again before getting picked up to leave for work and you wondered how he would be able to function on that stuff, but at least it seemed to ease his pain. 

You spent most of the day on random mundane chores, but you didn’t mind, you actually found this part of the job to be relaxing. You could just put on some music or a podcast and tune everything else out. It was almost therapeutic. 

You were surprised when you heard the door open in the middle of the afternoon. He wasn’t supposed to be done with work until later in the evening. You walked out into the living room to see what was going on and saw Baekhyun standing in the doorway with his arm around another, taller man's shoulders. He looked familiar. He must’ve been another member of the group. 

He was giving you a bit of an odd look and you wondered if Baekhyun had told anyone that he’d hired you. This man didn’t seem to be expecting you there at all. 

“Hii y/n!” You heard Baekhyun slur, once again high off his medicine. “Sehun this is y/n she’s my housekeeper isn’t she cute?” 

You saw the other man's eyes widen and you felt your face become bright red. Not to mention how you were definitely not dressed like a hired professional, you were only wearing a tank top and pajama shorts. 

The two of you exchanged another odd glance as Baekhyun giggled to himself about nothing, and then the man spoke. 

“He misunderstood the doctor when they told him how much to take. He’s accidentally been taking way too much, he’ll be fine he just can’t work like this so…” 

You quickly nodded and made your way over to the two men, removing his arm from around Sehun and helping him to sit on the couch. 

“You work for him?” The taller man asked you. 

You bowed slightly and nodded. His eyes traveled down to your clothes and you felt yourself turning red again. 

“I didn’t realize he was coming home so early.” You mumbled softly. 

He nodded politely and excused himself, leaving you there with Baekhyun. You were right back where you’d been the night before. 

This time you tried to keep your distance. You didn’t want a repeat of the previous night, you just didn’t have that in you. There was only so much a girl’s heart could handle. 

However Baekhyun had other plans. After you'd made him some tea and set it down on the coffee table for him he started whining. 

“The couch isn’t comfy anymore, can you help me to bed?” 

You really didn’t want to do this. You didn’t want to be touching him, you knew you wanted too much. But he was sick and uncomfortable and you still wanted to help him too. In the end it was impossible for you to say no to him and you reluctantly let him throw an arm around your shoulders to help him get to his bed. 

You could feel how warm he was, and you felt guilty for getting any pleasure out of this when he was hurting, and he wouldn’t even remember it the next day. But he still felt so nice and firm and strong beneath your hands, you wanted nothing more than to wrap yourself around him completely. 

As you helped him get to his room you were far too aware of the closeness of your bodies and you were thankful the moment you reached his bed and could let him go, however Baekhyun did not want to let go of you yet. When you reached the edge of his bed his arms wrapped themselves firmly around your waist and as he fell back onto the mattress, you fell with him. You landed on top of him on his bed, chest to chest. You felt your heart hammering in your chest at the unexpected contact. 

Baekhyun was just humming contently, keeping his arms locked firmly around you. You pushed yourself up the best you could and when your eyes met his face they found him with a dopey smile, eyes half closed in the haze of the drug. 

This was not right. You needed to get up. You tried to pry an arm off you but he just whined and held on tighter, rolling over so the both of you were now laying on your side, and your face was buried in his chest. 

Once you were both situated you were able to hear the rapid pounding of his heart and feel how hard he was breathing. It had to be the medicine, you told yourself. You so dearly hoped that he wouldn’t remember this either, to spare himself the embarrassment. Everything about this was so wrong, yet it felt so damn good too, because now, somehow, you knew what it felt like to be held by him. 

As the seconds passed however, you realized you couldn’t do it. This was wrong, he shouldn’t be doing this with you, and for you to allow it to happen was also wrong. You wiggled an arm out from under you, and with one hand firmly on his chest, you pushed yourself away from him and out of his grasp. You heard his whining at the loss of contact but you couldn’t let that distract you as you quickly walked out of the room, closing the door behind you. 

When you were back in the guest room, you had to take a minute just to breathe and calm yourself down. It felt like torture. Your painfully attractive boss was being so flirty and touchy with you, but none of it was even real. 

It was so frustrating, and after about a minute of letting it all sink in the tears started coming. It felt like your heart was being toyed with, tested almost. You somehow crossed paths with this incredible guy and the universe was pushing you, seeing how much it could mess with your emotions, because no matter how bad you tried you couldn’t help but want him. 

You jumped when you heard your phone vibrate next to you. It was him. 

“Why’d you go :(”

You cleared the notification and found something else to keep yourself occupied with. You knew you’d have to check on him again eventually, but for now you’d distract yourself best you could. 

After a couple hours you started heating up his dinner, already dreading having to bring it to him. 

When you knocked on his door he didn’t respond. You tried again, and still nothing. Rather than letting his dinner get cold, you slowly opened the door, finding Baekhyun fast asleep. 

You set down his food next to the bed and gently shook him awake. 

“Sorry to wake you up, you should really eat something.” 

He still looked a bit dazed as he was slowly waking back up. He looked at you, and then the food and when his eyes met the clock on his nightstand you saw him tense up.

“What the hell, why am I here? I still have two more hours of-” 

“Baekhyun, you've been taking twice as much medicine as the doctor said. Your friend Sehun took you home a few hours ago since you were too messed up in the head to work.”  

He let out a disappointed groan, covering his face with his hands. You set his food down next to him and you heard him sigh. 

“I’m a goddamn idiot.” He whispered. 

You frowned. “Don’t say that.” 

He sighed. “I never miss work.” 

“Baekhyun it’s okay to take some time to rest, please don’t feel bad. Just eat this and try to get some more sleep, yeah?” 

He nodded solemnly, grabbing the tray with his dinner. “Do you mind hanging out for a bit? It feels a little depressing to eat alone right now.” 

You agreed, and once again found yourself sitting in bed with him as he put something on for you to watch. Now that he wasn’t all drugged up and trying to touch you it was actually nice, just getting to spend time with him, sober. 

Once he’d finished eating you noticed him scrolling on his phone and something had him looking confused. 

“Did I fall asleep again earlier when Sehun brought me here? Or did I do or say anything?” 

You weren’t quite sure what to say or why he was asking, but you definitely didn’t want to recant all of his earlier actions to him so you shook your head. 

“Why are you lying? I just saw that I texted you earlier, and last night too. You said nothing happened and I was asleep.” 

You felt your stomach drop and your face start to burn. He didn’t sound like he was angry, but his tone of voice and the way he was looking at you still made you wish you could disappear. His eyes were focused and his face stern as he looked at you with confusion.

It surprised you how intimidating he became in those few short seconds. The way his eyes bore into you made you want to run and hide. He usually expresses a kind of warmth that made people feel at ease with him, but that had disappeared completely. 

You couldn’t tell him what happened. You just couldn’t stomach that. 

“I- I’m sorry.” You eventually whispered, and although you tried to keep it in a tear soon escaped too. 

His demeanor changed as soon as he saw that you were crying, his gaze softening and he moved closer, his hand finding your cheek and you felt his thumb wiping away the wetness. 

“Please don’t cry, I'm not mad at you, but why didn’t you tell me? What happened that you feel like you have to lie about? I wish I could at least remember something but I really can’t and I’m sorry if I said something that upset you but please just tell me.” 

Now that he was closer and he was touching you, you lost it completely, sobbing and shaking your head. You couldn’t tell him. 

He was growing more and more worried as you cried and he had a tendency to ramble when he was freaking out. Baekhyun was growing increasingly concerned that he’d done or said something that had really hurt you. He hadn’t meant to at all but now you were crying because of him and he felt like he had to try and fix it. 

He was still rambling, moving closer and closer to you, trying to wipe away your tears. He really was trying to help, but the more he did the harder you cried and the more you tried to escape him, which wasn’t easy when both of his hands were on your face desperately trying to both wipe away your tears and keep your attention on him. 

Every time you’d try to back away from him he’d move closer and eventually with one last movement you felt yourself falling off of the edge of his bed flat onto the hardwood floor. 

You could hear him apologizing and asking if you were alright but you didn’t respond, and when you felt his hand on your arm trying to pull you back up towards him you finally lost it, pushing yourself up and away from him and once you were on your feet you quickly ran out of his room into the guest room, locking the door behind you. 

Baekhyun sat there stunned for a moment, and you broke down completely once you were by yourself again. He could hear you crying from his room. He felt absolutely terrible. 

He didn’t understand at all why you were crying so hard, when he made it clear that he wasn’t mad at you. It wasn’t like he’d yelled at you or anything, it all came from a place of concern. In hindsight he probably could’ve asked you a bit more gently rather than just calling out your lie like that, but he had a feeling that that wasn’t really what had made you cry like that. 

He tried his best to remember at least something from when he was on that medicine, but it just wasn’t happening. There must’ve been something he said or did that had really affected you, and he was still going to try to figure out what it was before the guilt ate him alive. 

Luckily he was starting to feel a bit better now that he was taking his medicine correctly, and the next morning during a group schedule he went to Sehun to try to get some answers. However before he could ask him anything, he was being questioned himself. 

“What the hell is going on with that girl that was at your apartment yesterday?” 

Baekhyun gave his friend a questioning look. “What do you mean? My housekeeper?” 

Sehun raised an eyebrow. “The housekeeper who apparently sleeps over there with you and who you called cute. I’m not trying to tell you what you can and can’t do but do you really think this is a good idea?”  

“I said that? When?”

“Baekhyun be honest are you fucking your maid?” 

He looked at Sehun like he was completely insane.“No, of course not! She’s just been staying over to help out while I’m sick is all. And you didn’t answer my question.”

“When I dropped you off yesterday you said something like ‘this is my housekeeper she’s so cute.’ She seemed really embarrassed by it.” 

At that, Baekhyun felt his heart drop. “Was I talking a lot..?” 

“Yeah it was kind of annoying you were just saying whatever the hell popped into your head it seemed.You were also being super touchy.” 

He felt his stomach twist and when he thought back on how upset you were the evening before it almost made him want to throw up. He very well could’ve done something completely inappropriate and he suddenly didn’t blame you at all for not wanting to tell him. In fact he wouldn’t blame you if you and all your things were gone when he got home later. 

“Baekhyun?” 

He had always been a very physically affectionate guy, and he was quite fond of you, but he knew that it still wasn’t appropriate for him to touch you at all. 

“If I was acting that strange, why did you leave me there with her?! Did you at least warn her or something? I was wondering why she’d lied and told me I was asleep the whole time but no fucking wonder I probably scared the shit out of her and did something completely inappropriate!” 

“What was I supposed to do?! I was just there to drop you off and I had no idea you even had a housekeeper.“ 

Baekhyun’s eyes squeezed shut and he felt his frustration rising. Of course it wasn’t really Sehun’s fault either but it was still upsetting to him. 

“She’s probably already gone now, after how upset she got yesterday.” Baekhyun mumbled, his throat growing tight at the thought of not having you around anymore. If he messed this up he’d have a hard time forgiving himself.

“What does she even do?” Sehun asked. 

“Cook, clean, laundry, groceries, that kind of stuff. It was really nice having someone to help with all that.” 

Sehun chuckled, “So you bought yourself a housewife?” 

“First of all, that's sexist, and I told you it’s not like that! When I first met her she was sent by some big company. It wasn't until later that I decided to hire her privately. I didn’t know they’d send someone young and pretty, for all I knew it could’ve been an old man who showed up that day.” 

“Baekhyun I know what you mean but come on I know the kinds of girls you go for and she’s totally your type. I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to have someone like that as your housekeeper.” 

“Well I doubt she even wants to work for me anymore.” Baekhyun muttered before walking away. He knew that Sehun was right about that stuff, but he still didn’t want to hear it. 

All day he worried that you’d be gone by the time he’d get home, that you didn’t want to work for him after whatever he’d done. He was still sick too, and the hours seemed to drag on for ages. Luckily it wasn’t so bad anymore but he could tell that he still wasn’t back at his normal strength. 

When he finally got home he was anxious to see if you were still there or not. He couldn’t tell any difference in the common space when he first walked in, so he went over to the door of the guest room, knocking lightly. 

He didn’t expect an answer, so he was surprised to hear your quiet “come in.” 

He opened the door and you were sitting in bed on your phone, and he watched as you put it down and wrapped your arms around your legs, bringing your knees to your chest. 

You looked up at him, waiting for whatever he had to say. 

“I’m sorry.” He said. “I talked to Sehun and I understand why you didn’t want to tell me, I was not acting right. Whatever I said or did, I’m so, so sorry and I hope you can forgive me.” 

You let your arms fall and stretched your legs out in front of you, and Baekhyun was moving towards you until he sat at the edge of the bed.

“I honestly didn’t even think you would still be here after everything. You seemed really upset, I feel terrible. I shouldn’t have pressed you to tell me like that either. I’m really so sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” You eventually whispered in response. “Thank you.” 

He was looking at you with that slight pout and furrowing of his brows that told you he was still worried. 

“Is there anything I can do to help make it up to you?” 

You smiled a little and shook your head. “You don’t have to keep apologizing, I know you didn’t mean any harm.” More than anything you were relieved that he wasn’t still trying to get you to tell him what happened. 

“I just don’t want you to hate working here.” 

“I don’t hate working here, I actually really like it. I promise.” 

The look on his face was one of relief, he was thankful to still have you there. He was still going to try and make it up to you though. 

“I thought since you’ve already been here so long and I'm starting to feel a bit better, you could take a few days off to relax. I know you probably miss sleeping in your own bed.” 

You frowned and Baekhyun looked confused. He was wrong of course, but he was still just trying to be nice. 

“I really don’t mind staying here, and you’re still sick.” You said. 

“Would you like to stay then?” 

You shrugged and nodded. His guest bed was more comfortable than yours, his apartment was much bigger and nicer, and above all, he was there. 

Baekhyun grinned and thanked you before going back to his room and you got started on dinner. 

The next several days were nice. Baekhyun didn’t have as much going on at work so he was home a lot more and you continued to do your best to nurse him back to health. The two of you talked more and you could tell that Baekhyun was putting a lot of effort into making you feel at home there. He made you laugh a lot and he loved to see how you were starting to open up to him.

It was funny to both of you how awkward things had been the first few days, as compared to now. He hardly felt like your boss at all, he’d become a real friend. 

Next Chapter

#baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun x reader #exo fanfic #exo baekhyun #exo fluff #baekhyun #exo #baekhyun fic #baekhyun ff #exo fic

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Darkness Declares Glory | Chapter 14 | S.R

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A/N - this fic deals with some very dark themes such as drug use, self-harm and suicidal ideation. Please proceed with caution and Minors DNI. There is a reader insert but it is very Spencer-centric.

Chapter Summary - Spencer makes a decision regarding Cat. But before he has a chance to follow through he makes a startling realisation that could very well be his undoing.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | eventual happy ending.

Warnings - mentions of Cat Adam’s, talk of death penalty, therapy, brief mention of masturbation, swearing.

WC - 4.7k

Chapter 14 - Sympathy for the Devil

Another few days passed and there was still no sign of you. Either this really was all in his head or you were avoiding him. But honestly, Spencer didn’t have any free brain capacity to think about it. 

His every waking thought revolved around Cat Adam’s and her death sentence and whether or not he had the strength to see her one last time. He wrote about it extensively in his journal, hoping getting it out of his head and onto paper would help him make sense of it all, but it didn’t. 

If I see her then I’m basically admitting defeat, I’m playing my hand and letting her have a front row seat to the destruction she’s caused. There’s no hiding what I am. I can put on a smart suit and wear my best poker face but she’ll see right through me. 

Cat always does. 

She’ll see it in my eyes, the way she’s broken me beyond repair. She’ll be able to tell the full extent of the damage she’s done to me and I don’t want her to have the satisfaction. 

But on the other hand, I’m still alive. I may be barely hanging on by a thread but I am alive. And she’ll be dead soon and a part of me wants her to see that she didn’t ruin me completely.

Just mostly. 

One thing I do know absolutely is that this is the most I’ve wanted to relapse in weeks. I would kill a man right now for one more hit, one more shot of dilaudid. 

I would wrap my hand around someone’s throat, squeezing until their pulse became thready beneath my fingers and watch as the life drained from their eyes. All for one more release. 

That fucking bitch shattered me into so many pieces that I’m not sure I’ll ever be whole again. Yet I’m still thinking about seeing her because for whatever reason, I feel bound to her. 

She wasn’t wrong when she said we were the same, prison showed me that I am more like her than I could have ever dreamed. When I hurt those men, when I poisoned the drug supply, I became bound to her in ways I never believed possible. 

Maybe because she’s the only one who would understand. She’s the only person who could identify with the fact I liked hurting those men. And somehow that enslaved us. It bonded us in ways deeper than if her baby had been mine. 

Don’t get me wrong, I hate her more than I ever thought it possible to hate another human being. I would have killed her with my bare hands if JJ hadn’t stopped me and I would have slept well. But her dying doesn’t change anything. Her dying doesn’t suddenly make me a better person. It won’t change the fact I was in prison, it won’t change the fact I am a drug addict. 

Her death won’t make my life better or worse. The damage is already done, there’s no way to change that. But at least if she’s dead she might stop haunting my every dream, worming her way into every facet of my life. 

Still, the question remains: am I strong enough to see her one last time before she’s put to death? 

Maggie glanced up from the journal in her lap to Spencer who was fiddling with his sleeves and chewing on the inside of his cheek. He’d barely spoken in their sessions for days and he still didn’t want to talk about Cat, but reading his journal would help her get an insight. 

“Who is Cat?” She asked placing her hands on the pages as if to absorb more information. 

“She’s the reason I went to prison. She was a hitwoman. I outsmarted and arrested her so in return she had me arrested.” Spencer didn’t look at her. 

“You know I have more questions, right?”

“I assumed as much. Go ahead.” He grazed his slowly growing nails over the back of his hand, able to scratch himself lightly now. 

“You wrote about poisoning a drug supply and hurting people? What happened?” Her fingers drummed lightly on the page. 

“I was being threatened in prison. If I didn’t help them move these drugs they would have killed me. I needed to buy myself some time. A lot of men ended up really sick, and I didn’t feel bad for it.” He scuffed his shoe on the carpet, watching the way his foot moved back and forth.

“I imagine it was dog eat dog. You had to look out for yourself.” 

Spencer suddenly looked up at her, an almost dangerous look in his eyes. 

“You don’t understand.” He frowned. “I wanted to kill those men. And not just for self preservation. I wanted them dead because I wanted to see how it would feel. I only felt bad that they didn’t die.” 

He saw Maggie swallow before she tore her eyes off of him and looked back at his journal. 

“And you mentioned a baby?” She changed the subject. “A baby that wasn’t yours but it could have been?” 

“We never had sex.” He was quick to say. “She uh…she claimed to have me sexually assaulted by her partner but I never believed that was true.” 

“Burying your head in the sand?” Maggie narrowed her eyes on him. 

“No. The science doesn’t add up. The drugs she used to make me hallucinate flood the brain with serotonin. Its effects are similar to MDMA in that it’s nearly impossible to…uh…” he averted his gaze as his cheeks started to burn. “It’s difficult to get an erection.” 

“I see.” Maggie was, as usual, unphased. “So this woman had you arrested and then pretended to be pregnant with your child. It all sounds like a power play.”

“Oh it is. Everything is a game to her. And I’m her pawn.” 

“Why are you showing me this?” Maggie closed the journal and focused on him. 

He thought it was fairly obvious. 

“I need you to tell me what to do. She’s being executed in two weeks and I need to know if I should see her or not.” He continued scratching at the back of his hand. It wasn’t anywhere near as satisfying as when his nails were longer but it helped.

“I can’t tell you what to do, Spencer. That’s a decision you need to make on your own. You say you’re already struggling with your sobriety just thinking about her?”

“Yes.” He grinded his teeth. “Very much so.”

“Well then seeing her will only make that worse, surely?” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“But if I don’t see her, she’ll think she’s won. I can’t have her going to her grave thinking she beat me.” 

“So maybe you should see her.” 

“You’re no help.” He growled. 

“I told you, I can’t make this decision for you. Only you can decide if you’re strong enough to handle seeing her.” She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. 

“I don’t think I am.” Spencer huffed. “But I won’t ever get another chance.” 

“Think about it. You don’t need to make any rash decisions.” 

But Spencer was the king of rash decisions. And so no sooner was he done with his therapy session he found himself at the bank of phones patients were allowed to use, dialling a familiar number. Luke answered on the second ring. 

“Luke Alvez.” 

“Hi, it’s me. Spencer.” Spencer leant against the wall, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder. 

“Hey, is everything ok?” Luke sounded concerned. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” He took a breath and closed his eyes. “I want to do it.” 

“To do it?” Luke’s frown could be heard down the phone. 

“Yes. I want to see Cat before she’s executed.” Even as the words left his lips he wasn’t sure about them. 

But he didn’t think he’d ever be sure. He could sit and think about it until he was blue in the face but he’d never be sure what to do either way. He’d regret seeing her and he’d regret not seeing her. 

It was a catch twenty-two with no possible good outcome. So ultimately he just had to go with his gut. And his gut told him he needed to see her one last time. Saying it out loud made him instantly wish he had a needle of dilaudid waiting for him. 

“You…seriously?” Luke swallowed.

“Yes. I need to prove to her she didn’t break me. I need her to see I’m still standing.” Barely, but I am. 

“Ok. If you’re sure.” 

He wasn’t sure, not in the slightest. But he was doing it regardless. 

“Will you go with me?” Spencer suddenly sounded small and scared. 

“Of course I will. We’re away on a case right now but we can do it as soon as I’m back.” 

“Thanks Luke. And uh…don’t tell the others. They won’t understand.” Spencer opened his eyes and pushed himself away from the wall. 

“I promise. Talk to you soon.” 

“Bye.” Spencer hung up the phone, his hand shaking as he did so. 

No good could come of him seeing Cat again. He just hoped it wasn’t the final nail in his coffin. 

***

Spencer quite often found himself feeling as though he was drowning. Most of the time he barely kept himself afloat, sinking in a pool of his own misery. But actually drowning was a whole other thing. 

“Keep kicking! Come on, you can do it!” Nick cheered him on while Spencer frantically waved his arms and tried to keep himself above water.

Now his walking was getting better Nick had suggested swimming to build up his strength. Spencer had never been a fantastic swimmer, but he was ok. He could at the very least stay adrift. 

But with his injury, drowning seemed inevitable. 

“Kick! Come on Spencer. You’re almost there!” 

Spencer flailed his arms hoping he could reach the other side without using his legs too much but it only made his lower half sink and when his lower half sank he started to panic. 

His t-shirt clung to his body, the water sodden fabric making him feel heavier. Nick had tried to get him to remove it but Spencer refused. It was bad enough not having trousers and his sweater on. 

He needed to regroup. He needed just a second to fail before he could continue. He stilled his movements and let the water encompass him, rising over his head until he was completely submerged. 

He told himself he could do this. It was only a few more metres and then he was done. He wasn’t giving up, no matter how much it hurt. He pushed himself back to the surface and inhaled deeply before forcing his legs to kick in time with his arm movements. 

He blocked everything else out that didn’t strictly relate to kicking his legs. The side of the pool was getting closer and the burn spread down his thigh but it was a good kind of pain. It was the kind of pain that told him he was achieving something, he would make it to the other side both physically and mentally. 

“Come on Spencer! You can do it!” A voice goaded him but it didn’t belong to Nick this time. 

He frowned to himself as he pushed himself the last few feet and grasped the wall for dear life. When he wiped the water out of his eyes and the hair back off his face he looked up. You sat on the edge of the pool right in front of him, legs crossed and a proud smile on your face. 

“You did it!” You cheered as Spencer just stared at you dumbly. 

Soon Nick was by your side, helping Spencer out of the pool. 

“That was great!” Nick grinned, helping Spencer sit up as he caught his breath. 

He blinked a few times, briefly wondering what it was about Nick he’d thought so similar to Morgan. Sure they looked kinda alike, but not enough for Spencer to have made that connection. He shook his head and looked between you and Nick. 

“Uh…you can see her right?” He frowned as he focused on Nick. 

“Is that a trick question?” Nick asked in confusion. 

“He thinks he’s imagining me.” You spoke with an amused smile. “Tell him he’s not crazy.” 

“You’re not crazy.” Nick chuckled, squeezing Spencer’s shoulder. “I’ll leave you two to it.” 

His parting gift was to toss a towel at Spencer which he wrapped around his shoulders and obscured himself with. You kicked off your shoes and rolled your jeans up to your calves before dipping your feet in the water. 

“So, are you going to stop doubting yourself now?” You smiled while Spencer continued to stare at you. 

“Never.” He scoffed, with a roll of his eyes which made you giggle. “I wish it were that simple.” 

You stopped giggling at the change in his tone and narrowed your eyes on him. He hugged the towel close to him as though it was a security blanket. His wet hair fell on his forehead and small beads of water rolled down his face. His eyes were full of nerves the way they always seemed to be around you. 

“The paranoia that comes with heavy drug use takes a while to kick.” You shuffled a little closer to him and you practically saw the beat his heart skipped. 

“The thing is,” he chewed on his lip. “I don’t want you to be real.” 

“Uh…wow thanks.” Your eyebrows knitted together.

“I don’t mean it how it sounds.” He was quick to counter. “It’s just…if you’re real…you’re not who I thought you were.” 

You mused over his words for a moment knowing he wasn’t about to say anymore on the matter. 

“You’re very cryptic sometimes, you know that?” Your lip up tugged at the corner. 

“It’s all part of my mysterious charm.” He chuckled lightly. 

You couldn’t agree more. There was something about him. Something you couldn’t put your finger on. Something that made you want to succumb to him, let him consume you. 

You shuffled even closer and leant forward, placing your hands on his wet thighs. You saw his breath catch in his throat as you edged closer to him. Goosebumps flared on his flesh as you ghosted your fingertips over his skin. 

He let go of the towel and his hands settled onto your waist but his eyes never left yours. You moved closer still, until your noses were brushing against one another’s. 

He swallowed hard, completely engulfed in you. He could see every little freckle, every little blemish that graced your beautiful face and he tried to memorise every single one of them. He could feel the heat emanating from you and it wrapped around him, comforting him in ways he’d never felt before. 

Your eyes fell to his lips and he instinctively ran his tongue along them. Your hands moved up his sides and your arms wrapped around his neck. He wanted to get lost in you. He wanted to throw caution to the wind and let you devour him. He wanted to belong to you again in the ways he’d missed so much. 

Even if you weren’t real. Even if none of this was real. It was even more reason to take the plunge wasn’t it? But for some reason he couldn’t. He let his hands drop to his sides and his back straightened a little but you stayed close, clearly not sensing his hesitation. 

“W-what are you doing?” He whispered, his breath fanning across your face. 

“I don’t know.” You giggled lightly. 

“You said…recovery. Your recovery comes first.” His breathing was heightened and he could so easily crash his lips against yours. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he surprised you both when he sat back and shuffled away. 

“It does.” You frowned. “But I…well now I just feel stupid.” 

Spencer sighed and wrapped the towel around himself again. 

“I didn’t mean to make you feel stupid. I just…you have no idea how badly I want to kiss you, Y/N. But you and I both know it’s not a good idea. Not like this.” 

You chewed on your bottom lip and nodded  although you weren’t sure you agreed. 

“I’m scared too.” You blurted out, averting your gaze. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You said you were scared that this isn’t real, but I’m scared that it is.” You glanced back at him and he saw the tears behind your eyes. “In my experience fantasies last. Realities don’t.” 

“Agreed.” He gave you a tight lip smile. “Maybe it’s better we just keep the fantasy a little while longer then.” 

You nodded before pushing yourself up to your feet and then helped Spencer stand too. The sparks you felt when you took hold of his hands was undeniable, and judging by the way he looked at you, he felt them too. 

You stayed in silence as you walked back towards your rooms but it was a heavy, palpable kind of silence. When you reached Spencer’s room you stopped and smiled softly at him. 

“So do I get to see you flail about like a dying fish again tomorrow?” You teased him but Spencer didn’t seem in the least bit amused. 

His back straightened and he tugged the towel tighter around his body. 

“Uh…I’ve actually got a thing tomorrow.” 

“A thing?” You frowned a little. 

“Day release.” He sighed as he spoke. 

“You got some big fancy plans?” You chuckled but he shook his head sadly. 

“No.” He ran his fingers through his wet hair. “I need to visit someone.” 

“Someone? Someone important?” 

“I wouldn’t say that.” He sighed again, louder than before. “I’m visiting a prison inmate before their execution. I’m visiting the woman who ruined my life.” 

You didn’t know what to say to that. Clearly he didn’t want to elaborate and it wasn’t your place to make him. 

“Right. Ok.” You nodded, not wanting to pry. 

“It’s a really long and messy story I don’t want to get into right now.” 

“Fair enough.” You smiled a little as you stepped backwards. “I hope it goes…well? Not really sure what to say.” 

“Me too.” He half-smiled, reaching for his door handle. “I’ll see you soon?”

“You surely will.” You smiled one last time before turning on your heels and continuing down the corridor. 

Spencer heaved a sigh as he let himself into his room and collapsed on his bed. Tomorrow was going to be his hardest challenge yet. Coming face to face with Cat again would either make or break his recovery. 

Although he already had a pretty good idea which one it would be. 

***

He was silent for the entire car ride from PIW to Mount Pleasant. Luke tried making small talk but after getting nothing in return he gave up. 

Luke had brought him a suit from his apartment along with a white shirt and red tie. It had been weeks since Spencer had dressed so well and admittedly he missed his comfy clothes he’d grown so accustomed to. The shirt felt scratchy against his still healing wounds. The tie felt like a noose around his neck. 

He stared out the car window and scratched the back of his palm willing his nails to grow so he could pick at his skin. His chest was tight as though someone were sitting on it, like the weight of the situation was physical and pressing down on him. 

He came close to several panic attacks, only just managing to pull himself back from the brink in time. Diverting from his scratching his fingers nimbly shimmied up his shirt sleeve and gripped the crook of his arm. The track marks had all but faded by now but he could feel the heavy pulse of his vein beneath his fingertips.

He pressed against it, wishing more than anything else that it was a needle and not his fingers. He squeezed against his vein in the hopes it would alleviate some of his cravings. 

Maggie would tell him to masturbate. But even if he weren’t in a car with Luke in a completely inappropriate environment, he was sure his thoughts of his impending meeting would not allow for him to get it up. Instead he pressed harder against his vein, closing his eyes and imagining the dilaudid coursing its way through his body. 

He envisioned the feeling of euphoria that flooded over him when he shot up. He remembered the sensation so well.With his eyes closed he didn’t realise Luke was watching him out of the corner of his eye. And when he felt a hand on his leg he jumped and his eyes darted open. 

“We can still turn back. If this is too much for you?” Luke spoke softly. 

Spencer recoiled his hand back out of his sleeve and shook his head. He had to do this. There was no turning back. 

***

A shiver passed down Spencer’s spine as they stepped inside the women's correctional facility. His temperature plummeted the second the doors were closed behind them. He glanced at Luke who didn’t seem to notice, telling Spencer it was all in his head. Most things these days were, why should this be any different? 

They were checked in and scanned by a metal detector where Luke had to hand over his service weapon and cell phone. Spencer remembered it well. He recalled coming here that day he was released from Milburn as though it was yesterday. 

He recognised the long, dimly lit halls as they followed the guard to an interrogation room. The air was as thick and heavy as it had been the last time he was here. The last time he was here when Cat made him believe she was pregnant with his child. The last time when she’d made him think she’d had his mother killed. 

The last time when he’d thrown a table across the room and shoved Cat against a wall by her throat. The last time when he’d growled at her that he was going to kill her while JJ tried to pull him off of her. 

The guard silently led them to the small viewing room where Luke was supposed to wait while Spencer came face to face with the devil. The guard left them alone and Spencer kept his eyes trained on the floor, refusing to look at her through the two way glass. Luke was at his side and he soon felt the other man’s hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s ok, I’ll be right here the whole time.” Luke whispered but Spencer shook his head. 

“I need you to leave.” Spencer croaked out the first words he’d spoken since leaving the institute. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Well I don’t very much care what you think, Luke.” Spencer looked at him, eyes filled with anger. “I need you to leave. Go get a coffee or something but I do not want you witnessing this.”

“Witnessing what, exactly?” Luke raised an eyebrow at him. “You going to finish the job you started last time? Choke her to death?” 

“I don’t need to, do I? She’s going to be put to death soon. I just need you to trust me and I need you to leave. Please?” Spencer grinded his teeth. 

A small part of Luke worried what might happen if he left. A tiny piece of him actually believed Spencer might kill her. And as much as Luke wouldn’t blame him for doing so, he didn’t want his friend going back to prison. Spencer couldn’t handle prison again. 

“Promise me you won’t murder her?” 

“I promise.” Spencer rolled his eyes. 

“Fine. Come find me when you’re done.” Luke patted his back before skeptically leaving the room. 

Once alone, Spencer took several deep breaths whilst rolling the purple and gold bracelet around his wrist. He kept his eyes trained on the floor the whole while, scared that he might break the second he saw her. 

His heart beat furiously against his chest making him feel a little nauseous. His vein in his left arm felt like it was pulsating, begging for drugs. He was five weeks sober. This would not be the thing that pushed him over the edge. She couldn’t turn his life upside down again. He had to be stronger. He had to survive this. He had to prove to her that she hadn’t destroyed his life. 

Taking one last deep breath he forced his eyes up and through the glass. The breath got caught in his chest as he laid eyes on her for the first time in over two years. She looked much the same, haggard and tired; fed up and frustrated. 

She crossed one leg over the other and picked at a thread on her orange jumpsuit much like he did when he was uncomfortable. He gave a thought to what might have happened to her baby, the baby that wasn’t his but he had wished was. 

“You’re not pregnant with my baby. That isn’t the secret. It’s too easy.” He slid the chair back out and sat down opposite her again. 

“You think getting pregnant with your baby was easy?” She clicked her tongue. 

“It’s not my baby.” He shook his head, leaning forward on the table closer to her. “But I wish it were. It should be mine. Because the truth is you and I probably belong together.” 

A sentimental smile plastered across her face but he knew it wasn’t genuine. Sociopaths didn’t feel sentiment. 

“You think so?” 

He leaned even closer to her, not wanting JJ to overhear what he was going to say and hardly believing what he was saying himself. 

“I do.” He confessed. “You’re the only person who really gets me. You’re the only person who understands that I liked hurting those men. So yes, I think you and I belong together. In some fucked up, twisted way, you and I are perfect for each other. 

And I wish your baby was mine but it isn’t. I wish it were mine so I had something tying us together. And that fucking terrifies me to admit because for the most part, I hate you. For the most part I want you dead. But there is a small part of me that truly believes we are perfect for each other.” 

He sat back, straightening his tie while Cat looked at him amusement. 

“You’ll always be tied to me, Spencie. Baby or no baby. We’re bound to each other. We’re the same.” 

He rubbed his eyes with his palms trying to rid himself of the memory of the last time he’d seen her. It didn’t do him any good to dwell on that now. 

Only he couldn’t help himself. 

Had he been thinking of you when he’d said those things to her? As much he wanted to deny it, he’d meant those things he’d said. 

But what about you? You were who he belonged with. How could he have said those things to Cat and meant them while you were…

…while you were, what? 

It all hit Spencer at lightning speed. The puzzle pieces that were his life started slotting into place right in front of his eyes. Everything became clear with startling clarity and suddenly Cat Adam’s was the last thing on his mind. 

He quickly darted from the room, heart racing more fiercely than it ever had before. It all made sense yet nothing made sense. And there was only one goddamn person who was going to be able to provide clarity on the situation. 

He was hyperventilating by the time he found Luke, sweating and shaking and barely able to breath. Luke was quick to his side, wrapping an arm around him and stroking his back.

“Reid, what’s wrong? What happened?” Luke panicked, eyes wide in fear. 

“Need…need to…” Spencer choked out through ragged breaths. 

“Just breath, Spencer. Don’t try and talk.” Luke tried to calm him but Spencer pushed him away. 

“No.” He shook his head, forcing himself to focus on his words. “I need to speak to Emily right now. You get her here Luke. Get her here right fucking now!” 

“Spencer, calm down. Take deep breaths.”

“No!” Spencer raised his voice. “Call Emily and tell her to come here. NOW!”

“Spencer, what’s going on? What happened?” Luke reached for him but Spencer batted him away. 

“It’s time Emily and I had a talk.” He panted. “It’s time for her to tell me the truth about Y/N.”

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