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#I’ve never known I needed this in my life xD

lychniis · 2 months

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⚘ ― EVENFALL ! ( valentines day event ).

( # )ㅤ evenfallㅤ —ㅤ twilight ; dusk. the period or the light from the sky between full night and sunrise or between sunset and full night.

syn. a valentines day / white day event inspired by hozier lyrics ( and also seconding as my 1000 follower event i suppose XD ). feel free to drop by and select a prompt from the list below alongside a flower / genre. you could always opt for more flowers. however please note that minors are not allowed to request for / interact with nsfw works. please note that the maximum character limit is three.

this was more of a last minute bout of silliness, but i'd love to write some requests for you guys after supporting me and my bs for nearly two years now XD. so hey hey, my inbox is open to be raided! i'm currently taking this event for genshin impact and honkai star rail!

prompts. the prompts and flowers available are listed below. you can request a single prompt + one of more flowers of your choice! you could also add some additional suggestions if you'd like, say a setting or an au or a scenario! requests close by the 20th of febuary. i'll start posting on white day, march 14th.

daisy — fluff.

hyacinth — angst.

tulip — crack / humor.

orchid — smut.

i. ❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜

ii. ❛ no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her. ❜

iii. ❛ you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you. ❜

iv. ❛ some like to imagine. the dark caress of someone else. i guess any thrill will do. ❜

v. ❛ honey, when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes. i feel like a person for a moment of my life. ❜

vi. ❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

vii. ❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜

viii. ❛ know that i would gladly be the icarus to your certainty, oh my sunlight. ❜

ix. ❛ you don’t understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need. ❜

x. ❛ idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on his sword. ❜

xi. ❛ honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips. ❜

xii. ❛ i'm so full of love I could barely eat. ❜

xiii. ❛ honey you're familiar, like my mirror years ago. ❜

xiv. ❛ i know who i am when i’m alone. i’m something else when i see you. ❜

xv. ❛ there’s something tragic about you. ❜

xvi. ❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜

xvii. ❛ still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man’s beliefs. ❜

xviii. ❛ i’ve known the warmth of your doorways. through the cold, i’ll find my way back to you. ❜

xix. ❛ screaming the name of a foreigner's god, the purest expression of grief. ❜

xx. ❛ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now.

xxi. ❛ the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you. ❜

xxii. ❛ i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. ❜

xxiii. ❛ i have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me. ❜

xxiv. ❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜

xxv. ❛ i had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you. ❜

xxvi. ❛ it’s not my arms that will fail me, but this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❜

xxvii. ❛ i need you to run to me, run until you feel your lungs bleeding. ❜

xxviii. ❛ i will not ask where you came from. i will not ask and neither should you. ❜

xxix. ❛ be still, my foolish heart. don't ruin this on me. ❜

xxx. ❛ honey, i wanna race you to the table, if you hesitate, the getting is gone. ❜

( all the dialog prompts presented here are taken from songs by hozier. i own none of them. )

EVENT WORKSㅤ •ㅤ ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

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adastra121 · 2 months

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Touchstarved Romance Themes (Musical Version)

I like musicals, so I paired each Touchstarved LI x MC pairing with songs from musicals! These will probably be inaccurate since I'm going off of vibes from the demo. If you guys have other musical songs that you think would fit, please feel free to reblog or comment (I always like to find new musical songs!).

Kuras x MC

“All I’ve Ever Known” (Hadestown) — I associate Kuras with sunlight and devotion, and this song has both. There are a lot of lyrics that remind me of his path in the demo.

"I was alone so long I didn't even know that I was lonely. Out in the cold so long, I didn't even know that I was cold."

"You take me in your arms And suddenly there's sunlight all around me Everything bright and warm And shining like it never did before And for a moment I forget Just how dark and cold it gets."

"I don't know how or why Who am I that I should get to hold you?"

"Suddenly the sunlight, bright and warm Suddenly I'm holding the world in my arms."

“No Good Deed” (Wicked) — Can you imagine Kuras healing us to this?

"Let their flesh not be torn Let their blood leave no stain Though they're beaten, Let them feel no pain. Let their bones never break And however they try to destroy them, Let them never die."

"My road of good intentions Led where such roads always lead No good deed Goes unpunished."

“The Hill” (Once) — I think it would be interesting if, as a foil to Vere, one of his flaws is that he doesn't actually see us as a person? MC is either a path to redemption or another tragedy.

"But where are you my angel now? Don't you see me crying?"

"I'm on my knees in front of him But he doesn't seem to see me. With all his troubles on his mind, He's looking right through me."

Leander x MC (sidenote, there are so many musical songs that fit this guy why is he so musical-coded, also why are so many musical songs terrifying when you imagine it with Leander? XD)

“All I Ask of You” (Phantom of the Opera) — To be fair, I guess this song is also still unsettling in its actual context, too, if you know the story. XD

"Let me be your shelter, Let me be your light. You're safe, no one will find you, Your fears are far behind you."

“Something Wonderful” (The King and I) — From MC's perspective, Leander being toxic af.

"The thoughtless things he'll do Will hurt and worry you Then all at once he'll do Something wonderful."

"He has a thousand dreams That won't come true You know that he believes in them And that's enough for you."

“Only Us” (Dear Evan Hansen) — This is the sweet song that is mildly concerning when you pair it with him.

"What if it's you And what if it's me And what if that's all that we need it to be And the rest of the world falls away?"

"I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me. So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go."

"We can just watch the whole world disappear. 'Til you're the only one I still know how to see. It's just you and me."

“Our Love is God” (Heathers) — The Heathers songs are here because I cannot listen to these without imagining Leander anymore.

"They died because God said they must The new world needed room For me and you."

"I worship you. I'd trade my life for yours They all will disappear. We'll plant our garden here. Our love is God."

“Meant to Be Yours” (Heathers) — Leander outside the room he gave us.

"Those assholes are the key! They're keeping you away from me! They made you blind, messed up your mind But I can set you free!"

"You were meant to be mine. I am all that you need. You carved open my heart, Can't just leave me to bleed!"

Vere x MC

“Natasha & Anatole” (Natasha, Pierre, & The Great Comet of 1812) — This song is unsettling but there are so many lyrics that remind me of Vere. And I guess the unsettling vibe suits him well, it does feel like he's putting you in a trance before he devours you.

"And I never remove my smiling eyes From your face, your neck, your bare arms."

"And looking into his eyes, I am frightened There's not that barrier of modesty I've always felt with men I feel so terribly near I fear that he may seize me from behind And kiss me on the neck."

"Look straight into my eyes Nearness Tenderness Smile at me Gaze straight into my eyes There is no barrier between us There is nothing between us."

“Take Me or Leave Me” (Rent) — A more lighthearted song, and I think it suits his unapologetic attitude.

"Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be."

"A tiger in a cage Can never see the sun This diva needs her stage baby, let's have fun!"

"You are the one I choose Folks would kill to fill your shoes You love the limelight too now baby So be mine, And don’t waste my time."

Ais x MC

“You Matter to Me” (Waitress) — This song feels very straightforward and true and quietly comforting, like companionable silence. So it feels a bit like Ais's path in the demo.

"Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you And I'll stay there as long as you let me."

"You matter to me, Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody."

“Sunrise” (In the Heights) — Since one of his likes is learning new languages, I thought this would be a cute song with him and an MC who knows another language teaching him a few words. The lyric "promise me you'll stay" makes me think of the end of the demo where Ais asks MC not to choose the Seaspring so quickly.

"Calor. Heat. Anoche. Last night. Dolor. Pain."

"Promise me you'll stay beyond the sunrise I don't care at all what people say beyond the sunrise."

Mhin x MC

“Falling Slowly” (Once) — It seems to have a lot of yearning and a bittersweet ending, which I got from their demo path.

"I don't know you, but I want you All the more for that."

"Falling slowly, eyes that know me And I can't go back And moods that take me and erase me And I'm painted black."

"You have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won."

“What You Mean to Me” (Finding Neverland) — To be honest, I put this here mostly because they like stargazing. But I think it does fit Mhin when they don't have the words to express their feelings.

"I won't lie I'm a little bit frightened."

"Every star that's ever fallen Knows the way to where we're going Now I really know just what you mean to me."

Elyon x MC

"Epic III" (Hadestown) — I'm basing this off of the short description of him searching for the one thing money can't buy.

"What has become of the heart of that man Now that he has everything? The more he has, the more he holds The greater the weight of the world on his shoulders."

"He's grown so afraid that he'll lose what he owns But what he doesn't know is that what he's defending Is already gone."

Sen x MC

"The Next Ten Minutes" (The Last Five Years) — I feel like her ultimate goal being her own death adds another layer to this song, making it less about a proposal and more about treasuring the time you have together.

"Will you share your life with me For the next ten minutes? For the next ten minutes, We can handle that. We could watch the waves, We could watch the sky, Or just sit and wait As the time ticks by, And if we make it 'til then, Could I ask you again For another ten?"

"There are so many dreams I need to see with you. There are so many years I need to be with you."

*******Bonus********** I'm sorry

Ocudeus x MC

“Hey, Little Songbird” (Hadestown) — Okay. So, in all honesty, I think this could fit Elyon, too, but I thought this was funnier. Also Ocudeus using bird nicknames because Ais does that, like a petty eldritch horror. XD So. Ocudeus trying to convince MC to drink from the Seaspring.

"You'd shine like a diamond down in the mine. And the choice is yours, if you're willing to choose, Seeing as you've got nothing to lose, And I could use a canary."

"Strange is the call of this stranger I wanna fly down and feed at its hand. I want a nice soft place to land. I want to lie down forever."

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yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt · 4 months

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Hi! I am fond of your fics, ty for blessing the fandom with such content :D /pos

As for the request... How about a short&sweet movie!goldenheart thingy with precanon transgender Ballister being a bit self-conscious abt his body and Ambrosius reassuring him (goes perfect with your body worship hc tbh)

Might be T, might be E, it's all up to you XD

(Should have I really turned the anonymous option on? I feel like it's really obvious who I am atp)

Anyway I hope you're having a great day and you get paid a lot of money B)

Hi hi yes finally finished this one, stranger!!! I am so glad you enjoy my work and I hope you enjoy this one!!! Ambrosius loves his man so much stg

Cw: referenced sex, some gender dysphoria (obviously) and minor internalized transphobia

Ballister admired his facial hair in the mirror. He'd been terribly proud ever since it had started growing in, and he'd cut his hair. He was grateful for the resources available to him that he never before would have been able to access as a kid on the street. Yes, his face was finally molding into a shape he liked to see.

His body was a bit of a different story. He was elated, of course, when he got approved for top surgery, but the scars were still very visible against his skin, they hadn't faded yet. He hoped that his chest hair would make them harder to see. And all that's not even mentioning that he'd not been able to get bottom surgery yet. The damn Institution said it would interrupt his training too long because of the recovery time.

It's not like it would matter. Ballister could avoid mirrors for the rest of his life if he needed. He'd never had to deal with his own body much. He was very good at distancing himself from it. That is, until, his best friend turned into his boyfriend and that relationship turned from innocent to sexual very fast.

It was hot, and fun, but honestly a bit awkward and miserable at first. Ballister thought Ambrosius was straight at one point. If a straight man liked him, what did that mean? Did the person he trusted most in the world see him as something other than who he really was? Then he found out that Ambrosius was gay and that was somehow just as stressful because what if he wasn't enough? What if his partner was biding his time until Ballister got surgery? What if he didn't like him as he was? What if he never did?

Ballister startled when Ambrosius entered the room, his lover's eyes immediately widened and he bit his lip. “Hey, sexy.” He slinked his way over and nibbled Ballister's neck, slinking his arms around his waist. “How lucky do I have to be to come home to the hottest man in the world topless in my dorm?”

Ballister snorted, as if it wasn't practically their dorm. He slept here and half his stuff was here, because this dorm was much nicer than his. They used his dorm as storage and a hangout to play video games in. They actually lived here.

“I'm happy I can be topless in your dorm, finally.” Ballister chuckled with awkward intonation, and Ambrosius kissed his shoulder. “I'm happy too, that you feel comfortable doing so. But you always could if you'd wanted, your body was never and could never be a problem for me. I just want you to be happy!”

Ballister smiled. “Really? Even if– Even without– I don't know. I'm masculine enough for you? I mean, you're gay, and you've known me since we were kids.”

Ambrosius gave him a look and caressed the stubble on his cheek. “I’ve always liked you. Gave me a whole crisis about my sexuality before you came out, because I exclusively liked men except for, I thought, you. Turns out my gay ass knew something about you before you told me.” He chuckled. “You've only gotten hotter, but you've always been perfect, and you'll always be more than man enough for me. Plus, no offense, Bal, I don't think you've got quite enough in the way of feminine wiles to drive my man-loving ass away.”

Ballister glanced at the mirror and burst out laughing at the sight of his muscular, bulky, hairy body contrasted with the phrase "feminine wiles". It wasn't that those things couldn't be feminine, but they certainly weren't in his case, and the idea of anyone seeing, let alone being attracted to him as a straight woman seemed a bit ridiculous upon reflection. “Alright, alright. Thanks.”

Ambrosius grinned and kissed him, fingers fiddling with the waistband of his shorts. “Now that that's settled, would you be interested in me sucking your dick and fingering you? I've got a couple hours before my next class.”

Ballister smirked, “Only if I can suck your dick and finger you.”

Ambrosius pretended to be contemplative for a moment despite the excitement that flashed behind his eyes. “Hm, yeah, I suppose I'd be amenable to that.” He grinned and in another instant, their bodies were melded together, just two young men in love.

#nimona #ambrosius goldenloin #goldenheart #ballister boldheart #ballister x ambrosius #nimona 2023 #nimona fanfic #fic request #yywihh fics

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heymeowmao · 6 months

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2023.10.12 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324956083041992822

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. Long time no see!

C: You haven’t streamed in so long I almost left the fandom. LYN: Is our friendship so thin, now? They all say that “君子之交淡如水” (a gentleman’s friendship, insipid as water), but this is too bland. I’ve only not streamed for about a month and you want to leave?? It’s not worth it, is it? C: If you didn’t stream I would have deactivated my weibo. LYN: Are you threatening me, or weibo? If you’re threatening weibo, then there’s really no need. They’re such a big platform, they won’t miss a single consumer in you. But if you were threatening me- see, I’m here now, right? I came obediently to stream. I got off work today, came home, didn’t even wash my face, and started streaming. Because I don’t have very many fans lately, so each one of you is very important to me. C: I’m with you for life. LYN: Thank you. Thanks for giving me a sense of security.

LYN: It’s just been a long time since I streamed last. Someone told me it’s been 32 days. That’s nearing a record-high for me- consecutive days without streaming. That’s rare. Some of you who have lots of talents have already made videos and such- I’m sure you’ve already seen them, I have. I have to give you a thumbs up for your talents. I think you’re really great! LYN: I was planning on resting for a few days. This drama is about ready to wrap up- at least my parts. I’m sure you have spies or whatever, and you all know what time I get off of work every day. So you’ve known that I’ve been busy lately, and sometimes I leave in the middle of the night. I really haven’t had any time to stream. I hope you can understand.

LYN: There are also some other friends who have said, “It’s been a month since I started liking LYN. I’ve never seen a live stream.” I might have some new fans, who came in the past month, and it’s just bad timing that I haven’t been streaming. Don’t worry though, I’ll make it all up later. I’ll do my best to stream more- as long as I’m not busy. But if my drama schedule is tight, then there’s no need- as a singer or an actor, the more important thing is to have works to show. C: You’ve started making pies again. LYN: I’m not!

LYN: But I’m really curious- where have my new fans come from? I haven’t had any works or new songs out- just some OSTs. I didn’t have stage performances, or dramas out either. How did you start liking me? By what method- scalping? XD I don’t really get it. Maybe through the beads? You may have seen that I’m playing with beads in some leaks, and you also like to play? C: Your countenance. LYN: “Countenance”? I don’t think so. In this industry there are plenty of people whose countenance far surpasses mine. If I were to compete with others on my appearance, then it’d be a loss for me.

C: Height. LYN: It’s not like the entertainment industry is some sort of sports activity and whoever’s taller is more impressive. That’s not it. If it were though… Gao Weiguang is still taller than I am. C: Ning-ge, how tall ARE you? LYN: My real height is 189cm. /plays the laugh track/ Oh? Why laugh? // I’m 189cm. But maybe it’s because I’ve adjusted my posture so now I gained a little bit I’m probably 190.6cm, now.

C: I’m a new fan. It’s my first time catching a stream. LYN: Nice, nice. Welcome to all my new friends. I inexplicably gained new fans. I’m not sure how, though, because there have been so many comments online lately cursing me to high heaven. Maybe you’re curious about what type of person I am, to be cursed at so miserably? “Why are people shitting on this guy? I need to see how terrible he is.” But you’ll find out that the more you hate me, the more you love me.

C: I’m a passerby and I just came to check out the mess. LYN: Grab a handful of guazi. A lot of people watching my stream aren’t my fans, but passersby. Grab a handful of guazi. Don’t be shy. Start snacking. C: I never hated you. I have nothing against you. LYN: Right?! It’s not like I did anything to anyone, why are so many people online not letting me go?? Why do they insist on doing it? Oh, my goodness. It’s not worth it.

C: I finally caught a live stream. You cannot even begin to comprehend how I feel right now. LYN: Why do I need to comprehend it? I watch every single one of LYN’s streams. I haven’t missed any. When LYN streams, I’ve always been there- I haven’t missed one. So… it’s not that precious a thing. Also, I always post the playback. If you’re busy right now, you can always come back to watch it later. It’s all the same. You don’t necessarily HAVE to catch me live. LYN: The charm of a live stream is- well, it’s not that “charming”. The nice thing about it is there is a sense of interaction. If you’re typing right now and I see it, I could chat with you. If there’s a topic you want to know about, you can ask me. It’s more interactive, but that’s about it. C: But I want to watch a “hot” (in temperature, as in: just out of the oven) stream. LYN: That’s why you have to subscribe to my weibo. If you haven’t yet, pelase do so. That way you’re less likely to miss it the next time I stream. Alright?

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bgm: 遥远的相似 (Distant Resemblance) [South Wind Knows OST]

LYN: In the next few minutes I have to update you on a few dramas. First of all, there’s one called “South Wind Knows (南风知我意)”. Friends, are you watching it? It’s very good. I’ve sung a song for it called “遥远的相似 (Distant Resemblance)”. One day a producer that I’ve worked with before sent me a message and told me that this drama was going to air. I was like, “Right! What song did I sing??” It’s been SO SO long since I sang this song. Finally, it’s out. I’ve sung so many OSTs, but since the dramas have not aired it’s been a while. I forgot I even sang this song. They sent it to me and I thought it was.. Familiar? // Has it been three years? I don’t know. It felt like a long time, to me.

C: Ning-ge, I’ve watched every drama you sang an OST for. LYN: ;) Thumbs up. That’s amazing. Even if you didn’t but are just saying that, if there are any producers in the stream right now they’re going to look for me to sing their next drama’s OST. I’d have work! LYN: I saw a comment that I thought was amusing. Someone wrote, “If you want to know what dramas have aired lately, just look up what songs LYN has released lately.” That’s one way to do it. Thank you. I consider that as your acknowledgement of me.

C: Ning-ge, I’m so sad that you’ve never read any of my comments. LYN: What’s there to be sad about? You’re in my stream right now, and what I say is to everyone. There’s no way I can talk to you one on one because if I did that, I would have to collect 50RMB/hour. I have a side-gig which is a paid 1:1 conversation. As long as you transfer me 50RMB, I’ll chat with you for an hour. C: Ning-ge, if you’re going to say that then I want to reserve you for a day. LYN: /laughs/ There’s a rich lady here who wants to reserve me! 50RMB for 1 hour… so for one day that means… My working hours are at a max of 12. So… 6000RMB for a day! Right? I could make some money. C: Ning-ge, your math… LYN: It’s on purpose! I know I learned how to be a cook, but I’m not an idiot, right? There are some of you commenting, “Ning-ge, it’s 600! Let’s not have anyone say you’re uneducated because you’re bad at math!” Look at how nervous you’ve gotten. “Ning-ge, its 600, not 6000. If this gets out people will start to call you a fool!” C: Deal, 6000RMB. LYN: Who’s the fool here, exactly?

-----

LYN: I have another drama to promote, and it’s called “Bright Eyes in the Dark (他從火光中走來).” It’s another great drama. Friends, you can check it out. One of the actors is from my hometown (HJY), so please show him some support.

bgm: Fated (命中注定) [Bright Eyes in the Dark OST]

C: Music is a man’s cosmetic medicine. LYN: What do you mean? That before, when I hadn’t sung I looked very bad, but after singing a few lines you now think that I gained a few degrees of handsomeness? Is that what you mean? When you said that music is cosmetic medicine, to a man? You’re right. I think I get what you mean. - /demonstrates by singing/ LYN: Friends, after singing this song I think I can make a confession - I’ve gotten something done. Music is a man’s cosmetic medicine, right? So singing these few lines means that I’ve gotten some work done. I saved some money. I feel like my face looks a lot better now, even. Thank you, friend. C: Overboard. LYN: You mean that I’m so handsome it’s overboard, now? Now it looks unnatural, right? I look stiff?

-----

LYN: I have another drama… Let me recommend you another one! This one is a very good watch- it’s called Tiger and Crane (虎鶴妖師錄). This drama has recently started airing and it’s very hot. I actually watched it. This song is called “Don’t Be Sad” Song (莫悲歌)

bgm: “Don’t Be Sad” Song (莫悲歌) [Tiger and Crane OST]

C: Is that today’s “theme word”? LYN: There is no “theme word”. Whatever you say just becomes the theme. Today’s theme is “cosmetic medicine”. No, our theme today is “Music is a man’s greatest cosmetic medicine.”

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C: Ge, I saw you on the boat. LYN: The fun thing about being an actor is that you can experience so many different lives and feelings. For example, normally I’m not the type of person to be on a boat. I don’t ever get the feeling of wanting to go for a boat ride on a lake, it’s not worth it. But when you’re acting, sometimes you may encounter these situations. /sigh/ It’s nice. LYN: I don’t really like activities on water, because I’m afraid. That’s the first thing, and second- I can’t swim. Rather, I don’t really know how, not that I can’t at all. Even though I’m 1.89m tall, a 1.5m deep pool can drown me. For people who can’t swim, it doesn’t matter how shallow or deep the water is. When you’re in the water you’ll feel fear and be unable to make sense of directions. It’s possible that we would not even be able to stand up. It’s that type of feeling.

C: Ning-ge, I’ll teach you how to swim? LYN: Do you sincerely want to teach me how to swim, or do you just want to see me in swim trunks? I’ll pass- I don’t really need to know how to swim just yet. // For the friends who “really” want to teach me how to swim, let me recommend a show for you. It’s called the Hai’er Brothers- you can look it up and watch that. All they wear is small swim trunks. You can check it out. I think the content would suit you. C: But are you in it? If you are, I’ll watch it. LYN: Are you not going to watch things if I’m not in it??

- /promotes the three mentioned dramas again/ C: What about West Out of the Yumen? LYN: I promoted that in my last stream. I also watched some. It was good! Also- it’s finished airing now, hasn’t it?

C: Ning-ge, you’re so busy. Do you even have the time to watch dramas? LYN: I heard two things from this comment. First- “If you have the time to watch dramas, why aren’t you using that time to stream instead?” and second, “... I suspect you didn’t actually watch the drama, and are just SAYING that you have.” You have to look at a problem from multiple angles. The first I won’t reply to, since I’m streaming right now and I have nothing else to say. As for the second, what’s it to you whether I watched the drama or not??

LYN: I levelled up in title for Pomellato. (Brand Spokesperson > Ambassador) I saw that a lot of you were happy for me and some of you who are better off went to support me, for which I am thankful for. Thank you for supporting the brand I am working with.

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LYN: It really has been a long time since I have streamed.. You all know it’s been long. So… the next part of the stream might be a bit negative so if you don’t think you can handle that, you should leave and go play. Now that I’ve gotten my promotions out of the way, I have to talk a little about something more negative. It’s been 30+ days since I last streamed. It’s not about anything in particular, I just need to discuss. But also, my stream is not a press conference and I’m not trying to announce anything. Streaming is an emotional outlet for me, and a place I can chat with my fans. Here, about 90% of you are my fans, and the remaining 10% are passersby or people who clicked in accidentally. Mostly I’m just chatting with my fans.

bgm: I Only Wish to Face the Light (我只願朝著光) [Be Your Own Light OST]

LYN: This song is from the drama that came out recently that I was in with Tao-jie and Hai Lu-jie. I really enjoyed the role of Jiang Junhao. I don’t know how many of you have watched it? If you haven’t, you can check it out. C: Say what you need to, I’m dying here. LYN: It’s nothing urgent. I just saw a bunch of things online that I feel I need to talk about. It’s not that I don’t care at all about the things I saw, I just thought they were ok at the time. I wanted to collect a bunch of news and use it as my streaming content, and that it would be fun.

LYN: I saw someone say, “LYN… LYN’s face is so BIG. His face is really big. When he was promoting BYOL, he went around everywhere saying that Tao-jie was the one who recommended him for the role. What? I guess he’s a big-shot, then? For Tao-jie to recommend you? How is LYN so shameless?!” LYN: This came up because I did an interview with Tao-jie, and in it I had said in passing, “I want to thank Tao-jie for recommending me” to which she replied, “I’m not qualified to recommend you!” Meaning, “she is not qualified, because she doesn’t have the right to recommend ANYONE.” You’ve got to read between the lines. But this was captured by some people. LYN: “LYN- look at this. You go around bragging that Tao-jie recommended you for this role, and now she’s denied doing that. Who do you think you are?? You must have been cast because you have resources.” LYN: If they had kept watching after that line, you would have heard what she said next. She mentioned that when she saw the script, she asked the writer if the character was based off of me. It’s in the interview! Why didn’t you capture that clip and post it everywhere?? She asked Su-laoshi if the character was based off of me, and Su-laoshi said, “Who’s LYN?” Then, they looked up who I was and THEN found me. I knew about the process. But because it was Tao-jie who read the script and mentioned me to the writer, that they even found me in the first place. So when I said “Tao-jie” recommended me, it’s not to mean that "I am so amazing", I just wanted to tell you how the job came to me. It was supposed to be words of gratitude, to thank her. I couldn’t just accept the role and then never acknowledge how I got it- I’d be crazy. If she hadn’t told them my name, they would never known I even existed. This platform had never worked with me before, either. So is there anything wrong with saying that Tao-jie recommended me for the role?? Tao-jie is a senior actress, and it’s not as if she would try to burn bridges by trying to make demands of the production company. But the truth is that she DID mention my name to Su-laoshi. You can watch the rest of the interview. But you just took that clip to try to bring me down?? LYN: If you want to curse me out so badly, just do it directly. Don’t drag Tao-jie into this! It makes me sad. Tao-jie is a very nice person, she’s very nice to me! She saw a bunch of people cursing me out and she even sent me a message to try to comfort me. She’s a very good jiejie. Stop trying to stir shit up.

LYN: I also saw a screenshot- it was from a post Sichuan Satellite TV had uploaded with a cut from the show. It was probably the station’s official account or something- since BYOL aired on the channel. They posted a cut from the drama, and the words, “BYOL featuring LYN, LT, QHL is currently airing on Sichuan Satellite TV.” And this was screenshot by people. Their point was: “LYN is just someone who steals rank. Look at this. He was able to use tricks to get his name in front of Tao-jie and Qin Hailu-jie’s. And he says he doesn’t care about rank??” LYN: /sigh/ LYN: After I saw that I was extremely speechless. I used “tricks”? Do you mean that I gave the broadcast company a call and said, “When you post things, you have to put my name in front of LT and QHL’s. I want the first rank, or else! Make me first in the lineup!” /laughs/ Is that what you meant, friend? I feel like a villain. LYN: It’s amazing how they can use this to hate on me. Also- it would have been fine if a single person posted it. But the worse thing is that a bunch of other people believed it! Saying, “Oh? It turns out LYN was this type of person.” “How shameless! How could he steal rank from LT?” “He’s trying to steal rank from QHL? He’s nothing. Who does he think he is?? Shameless.” They all came for me.

LYN: /takes a breath/ First of all- from my perspective… I don’t think that when the account made that post they thought much about or knew that there are so many complicated rules of the entertainment industry. They probably didn’t think too much about it before posting. Secondly, friends. Do you really think I would call up Sichuan Satellite TV, just to tell them to put my name in front of LT’s? EVEN IF I DID, what would be the point? What’s my goal in doing that? Am I trying to tell the whole industry that I am better than LT and QHL? Is that what I mean? What would I gain from having my name be put in front of theirs? Three new scripts? Eight new spokesmanship's? Ten brand deals? What do you think I would gain from doing that?? I just want to know. Why would I do it? Every action has a motive. What would be the motive for arranging this post to happen? What is it? LYN: If I really were the one behind the post, the only thing I would gain is the label of “Does Not Respect His Elders.” I’m more than thirty years old, do you think I don’t understand even this basic principle? What would be the my point in doing this? Friends, could you please tell me.

LYN: It just doesn’t make sense. After I work with them, my relationship with those I’ve worked with is very good! They look out for me. When the drama first started airing and we did that stream, you could see for yourself. Our relationship is very good and we’re close. Even after the drama has ended, we still message each other and chat. It’s all good. But now you’re trying to make it seem as if I think I’m better than them?? I would be crazy to do that.

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LYN: I just- I just saw a comment that’s a little hurtful, I didn’t want to read it out loud. But now I think, it’s okay if I read it, too. Someone had said, “Please leave from 珠帘玉幕 (ZLYM/The Legend of Jewelry).” LYN: /laughing but crying on the inside/ /plays sad bgm and makes it sound like he’s crying/ LYN: To this friend, I want to say, “I’m sorry.” If you had said, “Ning-ge, I want hear a song, please sing something for me.” or “It’s my birthday, please wish me a Happy Birthday.” I could do either of those for you. But for you to say, “Ning-ge, don’t act in this drama” I can only say, “Sorry. I can’t promise you this.” C: They’re not a fan. LYN: They weren’t one to begin with. This isn’t my fan. This is… a passerby. LYN: Alright, let’s stop playing this hurtful music.

C: Lao-da, going to kindergarten school is really tiring. LYN: Dont pretend to be young. The other time I lectured someone who told me that they were going to college and they were tired and wanted to stop. You’re going to KINDERGARTEN, and you think you’re tired?? You must be a teacher. In that case, it must be hard. Children are difficult to care for, so it must be hard on you. But since you chose that job, you have to do it well. Jiayou. LYN: I think it’s quite nice, working in that environment. When you’re working around children all the time, you can maintain a youthful mentality. Other than the fact that the work is a little tiring and a little annoying, you’re a lot better off than those working under pressure in a company. Children are more innocent/simple.

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LYN: /sigh/ I really want to talk about a controversial topic: Resource Card. There’s some noise going around… where a lot of people are saying I’m of the “Resource Card” category. At first I didn’t think much of it- you could think whatever you wanted of me and I was fine with it. Because I didn’t particularly care. If you’re not from this industry you wouldn’t know, but if you ARE you can ask anyone if they know if LYN has resources or not. But here’s another problem: some people say I have resources, but my fans say I am lacking resources. What’s going on here? Let me take you into the world of someone with resources, friends. C: “Please see the following vcr.” LYN: I don’t have one at this time. But it’s like this: From the start people were saying I have very good resources. They wonder why I’m showing up everywhere they turn. I didn’t think anything of it at first, I thought it was fine for them to talk. But then, it started causing problems in that since they believed that I had resources, it added fuel for them to make up content and say that I am able to move mountains with a wave of my hand. I feel like I can control the world- this industry. I can let whoever come, and make whoever go. As if I have that ability. Now that’s a little terrifying. You can label me as a “resource card”, but somehow you’ve also given me all these abilities?? That’s scary. It’s too amazing. I feel like the Entertainment Industry’s Devil King. I can do whatever I want.

LYN: But really, if you are someone in this industry you can ask anyone- LYN is nothing. I’m only a small actor. If someone needs me, I’ll be there; but if they don’t, I’m gone. It’s that simple. If someone gives me work, I do it. If they give me face, I take it. It’s simple logic. I’m someone with an overactive imagination and I think too much. I keep wondering why these people keep thinking that I have resources. Why? There has to be a reason. Maybe- it’s possible- that the groups/dramas/actors I’ve worked with are all very outstanding. So now people are thinking that I’m not worthy enough to work with this group/script/project/actor, and the fact that I AM able to work with them proves that I have resources and that a secret boss investing in me. Right? In the end, it’s this logic that makes the most sense. People don’t think I’m worthy of such projects, so they think that I have resources.

- /reminds people not to mention other artists’ names in his stream/ LYN: It’s no use and I’m not trying to start trouble. I just want to chat with you.

LYN: I think I can understand why people say these things about me. Honestly, it’s for those two reasons. They came to this conclusion because they don’t think I’m worthy of working with the drama/project/actor/director- so they think that I must have resources or someone pushing their support for me. But! Have you thought about the reason how I can accomplish all that I have when the fact is that I really don’t have anyone backing me? You think I’m not worthy, so I need someone to help me. But if I don’t have anyone helping me, can you come up with any other excuses? LYN: No? You can’t. You don’t believe me, and I must have someone backing me. Fine, okay. Let’s go another route. Let’s say that I really am the villain of the entertainment industry like everyone says, and that I have resources to back me. Let’s say that I do. Let me ask you, though, WHY? Why would they back me? What’s the reason. When people do anything, the main goal is to reach a certain result. So, what is the result that people who are backing me want to see? Let’s pretend you are all passersby. Think from their perspective- why would someone want to indulge me, LYN, a 30+ year old man? Can you think of a reason? C: Because you’re amazing. LYN: 去你的! Don’t flatter me. Even if it were a company with their own artist- they arrange for their artist to join a drama crew. Why? Because they’re going to take a percentage of their actor’s salary. Right? Pretty much all companies to this, whether it’s 6:4 or 3:7 split. The company, depending on their closeness/familiarity with the project, will arrange for their artist into the crew as 1ml/fl, or 2ml/fl. That’s normal. In turn, the company will take a percentage of the actor’s commission. That’s how it goes, right? But friends, I don’t have a company…

LYN: You can look up what my previous company was. I used to be with YY- do you know it? If any of you play games, you would know. It’s a company that makes livestreams. I ended my contract with them two years ago; I used to be a streamer. The only reason a company would invest in me is if they want to make money. To put it frankly- they want me to make money for them. Or there is something I can bring to the table. The main thing would be to make them money- but first of all, I don’t have a company. Secondly, if they really wanted to make money off of me- I only have so many endorsements. If I didn’t have enough, they would tell me to take business deals. They would say, “LYN, go sing at this platform’s concert. When you’re done, we’re going to “skin you”. We’ll take 30-40%.” Singers can go take jobs like that, for example, for a grand opening for a shop or restaurant, or promotion for a grocery store, etc. From my debut until now, I have not taken any such business deal.

LYN: So- LYN: If you’re going to curse at people, then get out of my stream. Don’t yell at people, here. No one is allowed to. You must be crazy. If you keep cursing, I’ll stop streaming. I’m being serious.

LYN: Anyway- you have to wonder WHY anyone would want to give me resources. This, I still don’t understand myself. LYN: I’d have to make them money. Also, honestly, if I were an investor I’d look for someone in their late teens or early twenties and they can probably actually make me some profit. I’m already very close to middle-aged, how many more years do you think I can continue in this industry. Why would anyone be invested in me?

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C: Drinking culture. LYN: I don’t know from when it started, but at some point I got the “drinks with people for jobs” label attached to me. This is just because of that CLJ donghua. I remember during that stream I told you in a joking way that I went to have a meal with a producer and mentioned that I wanted to try voice acting for a cartoon, and they let me give it a try. I didn’t accept any more, nor did I ask for any. At that time someone labelled me as “a person who stole work from a professional voice actor.” I don’t want to lecture you on what the truth is, but you can look it up later and get the full picture. But the label stuck. Now it’s going around the industry that I can hold my liquor. That all of the jobs I’ve gotten are a result from me drinking with others. Am I a god of wine??

LYN: Let’s not talk about whether I CAN drink or not- I want to tell you something first. If you don’t have the ability to pull off the project in the first place, it doesn’t matter how much you can drink, you’ll never get it. It’s that simple. Don’t even consider saying, “I don’t want to fight for what I want anymore. Starting from today I’ll be like LYN. If I gain an alcohol tolerance, then I’ll be rich! As long as I can hold my liquor, I’ll be successful at work.” Don’t- Don’t even think about it. There’s absolutely no way it’s true. LYN: Second, if you really don’t believe me and think that I have a good tolerance, then one day let’s drink together. You can see for yourself how good my tolerance is. We’ll go one glass at a time and you can count the of number glasses before I throw up or pass out. There’s nothing to say- my tolerance is really bad! When I go out to eat with the actors or directors I’ve worked with, they all think my tolerance is high because I’m from the Northeast. But I really can’t drink. I really can’t. Yet inexplicably I am now known for being able to hold my liquor and that all of my jobs I’ve gotten from drinking with others. Either I have resources or I drank to get my jobs- I’m too amazing.

LYN: I’ll need to look into whether or not weibo allows drinking on stream or not. If I can then one day, let’s have a competition through this screen. Alright? Let’s do it.

LYN: It’s really hard to say. Friends, you can see my daily schedule, right? When do you think I have the time to go out and drink or eat with others? If I had the time, I’d be using it to stream. I’d rather spend a good time with my fans and in return they won’t leave me for someone else. LYN: You can ask around the industry about me. Most of the time I don’t care about what people online are saying about me. Because none of it can affect my work. Everyone in this industry already knows what’s up. Sometimes seeing what people say about me is like looking at a joke. It’s funny. It seems like the whole industry is some sort of fantasy and some people have the ability to split the skies. LYN went from a street busker to an actor/singer and now he controls everything. LYN: I started as a busker, went viral, established myself as a singer after singing some OSTs, transitioned into acting, and now all of a sudden I’m the tyrant of the entertainment industry. Now I can choose to replace whichever actor I want to? I’m too amazing. I’m so amazing, and you still dare to curse at me? You’re not even afraid of me?

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LYN: I know a lot of this started because of the news about ZLYM project. At first I really didn’t want to come online to respond to these jabs, because I didn’t think there was a need. It’s all classified information, so why would I need to respond? But then I figured that if I didn’t respond, there would be no end to it. There were even some of you @-ing me. “LYN, aren’t you a real person? Come and refute these rumors. Say something. Once you start streaming, you can talk a lot, can’t you. Come and say something.” I don’t even need to see their face, just from their words alone I can tell how much ill-intent they were writing with. How much does this person hate me? How much loathing? C: Ignore them. LYN: It doesn’t matter. The majority of people, we all know, are just going with the flow. Even some of my friends- they sent me messages asking, “You’re going to this project?” “Are you… okay?” I’m a grown man, so of course I responded, “Why wouldn’t I be? It doesn’t matter to me. It’s not “good” or “bad”- either way is fine.” It’s just work. Just a drama. What else can I say?

LYN: There are so many layers to this. I’ll tell you one by one.

1. “LYN posted in his fan-chat that he would have a surprise. It turns out it was ZLYM.” LYN: This is not my first time being an actor. From the start until now, I’ve done my fair share of dramas and they’ve all aired pretty well. My very first drama was with HZT… ZXY, then QJJ- all amazing actors. All of my projects were great, so to me, dramas are not a surprise. Why would it be? Everyone knows I’m going to pick up a drama eventually. But people were saying that the “surprise” I referenced was being in ZLYM and a bunch of other nonsense, I forget. Why would that be a surprise? I still have to work, and the dramas I have lined up after that are- I think- will be better and better. So it’s not a surprise- and I enjoy working with each project I get. I don’t consider a drama announcement to be a surprise, but an article came out about me anyway.

2. “LYN first encountered this project in June, but at the time he didn’t accept it.” LYN: Some say June, some say July, or even earlier. Some say August- in any case, I supposedly knew about this project very early. Let me tell you- I swear on heaven- I hadn’t even heard of this project before September. No one came to ask me about it, either. I never even knew about it, truly. Usually casting directors will give you a call, to see if you’re interested before contacting the producers. I hadn’t even heard of this project before September. You don’t need to create rumors that someone contacted me as early as June/July. There was no such thing. LYN: I received this script at around the end of September. They sent me the script to see if I was interested. At the time I- /cuts himself off/ How should I say this? The more I say the worse it sounds. I’m afraid it will negatively influence others.

C: What’s “casting”? LYN: “Casting” is picking the actors. Let’s say I am the drama production- let’s use The Long Ballad, for example. Right now I want to find actors to fill my roles. I want LYN, AAA, BBB, etc. If I were the production crew, I would not call LYN up myself. Usually not, unless you’ve worked together before. We’ll find a middleman- this is “Casting” and they’ll help you find/contact the actors and ask their interest in the project. LYN: I heard about this project on 9/19. I have a screenshot on my phone. They asked me to take a look at the script, so I looked at it. There aren’t really secrets in this industry, so as soon as the production contacted me, the news would have already spread on the internet. There are so many people in the drama crew itself, in production, and in casting- nothing is a secret. Whatever actor you’ve contacted will be exposed instantaneously. They contacted me, but at that time I hadn’t signed a contract yet. I only just got the script to look over. I was busy with other filming, so only had time to look over a couple episodes before it started again. Some really fascinating rumors.

2A. “LYN replaced AAA. He used his resources to replace them.” LYN: I- I had never even heard of this project before. When would I even?? I wouldn’t have considered it something I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED to take, enough that I would get someone replaced for it. It’s not true. I didn’t even fully understand the project yet. I swear.

2B. “LYN started changing the script as soon as he was fixed.” LYN: They said that I boarded the project, combined the roles of the second and third male leads, then started going for the female lead’s scenes. That I brought my own scriptwriter. /sigh/ /pained/ It’s really only a drama to me, why would I need to get so invested that I even hire my own scriptwriter to change the script??? Am I crazy?? At most it would take up four months of my time before I leave for another crew. I have other dramas to film for. I “brought a scriptwriter”- If I REALLY had a scriptwriter, I could make MY OWN project, couldn’t I?

LYN: You think I’d take advantage of the platform, bring my own scriptwriter to change the drama script, and make myself into some super main lead that oppresses the original work?? This is just very strange. What era are we living in, where there are still actors who dare to change the script? And ESPECIALLY someone like me, a young actor? You’d shake the industry. Do you think that this industry is so dark, that someone can enter into a crew and say,” I don’t like this. Change it. I only have 100 scenes. Make it 800.” ??? How do you think that’s possible? There’s no way. No one would let you enter a crew with your own scriptwriter, consolidate the second and third lead roles’ scenes, then aim to steal the limelight and add scenes. Oh- I have another label: “Add Scenes Card”. LYN: Unless you are the top of the top- I’m talking our senior actors, whom we must respect. // Young actors like me are at the lowest level in a crew. Don’t think that all these actors and celebrities are living the good life- in a crew they’re at one of the lowest levels. Well, I don’t know if others are, but at the very least I am lowlier. There’s absolutely no way I would come in and edit the script. I didn’t even know I had that ability- to turn the industry on its head and snatch the script and change. /shaking his head/

LYN: At the time I asked the production who I would be playing and they told me I would be acting as Yan Zijing. So I told them I would do some homework to understand the role, because I had no idea. They told me that in the original source, this character was the second male lead but they changed him to the male lead for the drama adaptation. I was thinking, “He’s that amazing?” He is- I looked at the script and it’s great. But not more than two days later the rumors started going around, “2ML and 3ML were consolidated and became 1ML.” I saw that and I “???” I was dumfounded. LYN: Because when I first got the script and only started to understand the project, one of the first things they told me was that the original- in the novel- second male lead was changed to the male lead in the adaptation, since it felt like more of a complete character. I thought it was amazing, but didn’t think much of it because I hadn’t even started looking through the whole script yet. I didn’t have time to read it yet! They just told me that fact and left me to it. But then not two days later a rumor came out that /I/ went in with my own scriptwriter and changed the 2ML to the 1ML. ?! I was dumbfounded. How did it just happen to match up like that?? I told my studio- even if Sherlock came there’s no way he would be able to make sense of it. I can’t believe it matched up so perfectly. You can say LYN is in the project, and it’s true. You can say that the 2ML was changed to the 1ML, and that’s true too! Now, if you add that LYN brought his own scriptwriter…! I was dazed. Should I- at this point should I even still consider doing the project? I’d be cursed to death. If I don’t go, would all the troubles go away? I hadn’t even signed the contract yet...

LYN: But then two days later, something else happened- the costume director got switched out. I didn’t recognize them, but I saw that they did post something about “due to lack of resources..” or something like that, I don’t know. AND THEN, after that post was made, later that day came the headlines, “LYN..” ! “... used his hidden power to change the costume director.” LYN: /headache/ LYN: Why- why does everything that happens to the drama crew have to be turned into a rumor that I was the one behind it?? First of all, regarding the script, I don’t think anyone can figure it out at this point. One day, you will know the truth. But in regard to the costume director being changed out I need to say something- the rumor is that I used some hidden resources to get the costume director changed. The question here is: WHY WOULD I WANT TO?? And even if I did, wouldn’t I change it to someone who I’m familiar with?? The current laoshi, I honestly don’t know their name. I don’t know them and I don’t think I’ve seen their work. I don’t really have a good understanding because once I enter a crew, I just wear what they want me to wear. But if it really were the case that I had changed the old costume director, wouldn’t it be more realistic if I changed it to someone I’ve worked with before? Like Fang Sizhe-laoshi?? He did two of my dramas (CGX, YNGS). Ai Lun-laoshi did three (ALZ, BYOL, ZY). Wouldn’t I recommend someone I’m familiar with, because I know what they can do? I don’t even KNOW the new costume director, how can I say they’re good?! I’m so confused. - /rants a little bit more/

LYN: I’m not even familiar with the new costume director- I’ve never worked with them before, and I barely even know who they are! Of course, I respect them in any case. But the logic is unreasonable- “LYN joined the crew and changed the costume director.”?? It’s all a trap. But I don’t know how, it all lined up perfectly.

LYN: When I was shooting second/third/fourth male lead roles, these things weren’t so complicated. I just went to work, and if I was released early, I’d spend some time to stream. But ever since I started taking lead roles I feel like I’ve switched into a different environment entirely. Everything’s changed, and I don’t know why. LYN: I asked my studio members if they’re seeing these articles- they must be. They told me, “Laoban, maybe we shouldn’t take this job? If we go, then it will make everything seem true. If you go, everything lines up.” If I go, one after another all the rumors about me and this drama will seem true. LYN: /sigh/

LYN: I waited until the end of the month. This drama was announced on 10/2, right? I hadn’t even signed the contract until 10/30. I acknowledge the production company and everything, but I was thinking it was a bit troublesome because I hadn’t even started filming it yet and there were already so many issues. All the communications between the production and the platform were smooth and they’re both very professional. So- C: 9/30. LYN: ? 9/30! I said it wrong. Yes, it was Sep 30th, because the announcement was made on Oct 2. I didn’t even sign the contract until that late. I was conflicted for days. As soon as I met up with my studio members in the morning there would just be a back and forth of, “Should I go?” LYN: /trying to convince himself/ After looking at the script, I think it’s a goo- that is- I thought it was okay. And then- whether I should go or not- I thought it was a nice opportunity. The role is… not bad. Um. Even if…(I don't accept, I’d be okay) right? I would just have more time to stream! If I didn’t accept, I could just shoot a variety or two instead! It’s all the same. A variety show would be… but a variety show is not a “product”, so the drama would be better… If I do the drama, I’d be familiar with the crew anyway, and… But if I went, I don’t think I’d ever hear the end of this. It would continue to follow me for life.

LYN: My studio and I agonized over this for three days. I started getting hives. One night when I was trying to sleep I just kept tossing and turning, wondering if I should accept or not. I’m not how this industry thinks of me- able to make decisions with the wave of my hand. I actually have very little choice. You may think that I am very outstanding, and anything I acknowledge or think is good should belong to me, but it’s not like that. I don’t have a lot of choice. I only just started acting as a male lead, and not one of them has aired yet. Oh! One has- BYOL. I’ve been shooting dramas for three years until this day, when I can finally accept leading roles. Three years of supporting roles, lurking around Hengdian. I don’t have as much of a standing in this industry as you might think.

LYN: Later after thinking it through, I thought, “I don’t want to be influenced by all these outside noises.” I started from the project itself. Do I think it’s good or not? It’s good. So I’ll go. If I don’t go, then I would have been cursed at for nothing. I’m sure that even if I didn’t sign the contract and apologized to the production, they wouldn’t blame me for it. But there’s a problem: all of the people who have been yelling at me until now will not apologize to me. So I figure, I’ve already been yelled at, what else can they do to me? I’ll go.

LYN: I’ve been tortured this half-month… ever since the project came to me on the 19th. I was originally planning to- this is not convenient to say… The drama that I’m currently shooting… No, forget it. LYN: I’m thankful for the fact that my fans are so supportive of me. There were many of you who were saying, “We stand by any decision LYN makes” and posting that you believe in me and stuff like that. My fans are great. So that helped me be sure of myself. I feel like I often encounter situations that I think are wrong, but as soon as I overcome them I find that I’ve gain something instead. On the other hand things that I think will go smoothly, often don’t. That’s what I keep reminding myself. There’s a saying, isn’t there- “The road to happiness is paved with hardships.” I believe that everything I go through will always have a good ending, whether that’s something I’ve gained in the process or as the outcome. It’s all gains.

C: 车到山前必有路. (When faced with a mountain, the car will find a way through.) LYN: No, I only believe 船到桥头自然直 (When faced with the pier-head, the boat will go with the current) [*two parts of an idiom that means: “Everything will turn out for the best.”]

---------- Break #1 (new video!)

LYN: I don’t even believe that’s actually me. After watching that I’ve now realized that my streams are so embarrassing. C: Is this [ OG video editor fan’s name] new product? LYN: No- I’ll play theirs later. - (the neighbors aren’t fighting, they’re just watching Tiger and Crane really loudly XD)

C: OMG! Am I really seeing LYN? LYN: Um… what did you expect? Who are you seeing now? An AI?

C: Liu-ge, why aren’y you playing with the beads? LYN: I’m streaming, how could I be playing with the beads?! I need to focus on streaming. Otherwise what if I slip and say something I’m not supposed to that could be used against me? Even though there are a lot of things already. But I don’t care anymore. I’m going to say what I want to.

C: Ge, do you stream every day? LYN: Yes, I’m viral. All I do is sit around and livestream. If you haven’t subscribed to my weibo, you can do so. It will alert you. I stream every day.

C: When’s your concert? LYN: We’re predicting June 2024. But we’ll see. It depends on the progress of my album. I’m missing three songs and I can’t find them anywhere. It’s agonizing. Extremely. - /starts singing: ~ The sun always comes after the storm. Behind dark clouds is the clear sky. Treasure all your feelings. All your wishes are within your grasp. ~

C: Will there be news of entering a crew soon? LYN: Yes. The current drama is going to wrap up soon and then I’ll rest at home for a month before entering the new crew. /thinking/ ! There are rumors online that the drama is waiting until I have time. !! That has nothing to do with me! I forgot to refute this earlier. There’s a rumor that my next drama is starting late because they are waiting until I am free. NO. After my current drama finishes I’ll be idling at home for a month with nothing to do. C: While you’re idling, can you stream more often? LYN: Yeah, I’ll idle and stream at the same time. While I have the time today, I have to get out everything that I need to. I’m NOT going to wrap with this drama today and then immediately jump into the next drama tomorrow. I have to idle at home for a month. I’ll have nothing to do, so I’ll stream every day. C: Really? LYN: I already said earlier when someone asked me if I stream every day. How could I?? I’m still a singer and an actor. Just keep the notifications on. When I have time I’ll come stream. C: Stream. I love to see it. LYN: Okay, I’ll try my best.

C: I miss your stages, ge. LYN: Ge is… busy. You might have to wait for… oh- there’s something in a few days- after that it’s New Year. Wait for my New Year’s stage, ge. Or, meimei.

C: When will YNGS air? LYN: Soon. It’ll be soon.

-----

C: The media accounts are posting about you. LYN: Are they hating on me, or is it about something more public / official? Are they saying something nice, mean, or making fun of me? C: All. LYN: A mixture of black and white, I guess? There’s good and there’s bad. C: They’re complimenting you. LYN: Ok. If they’re complimenting me, later I’ll contact them add transfer them 50RMB. To express my thanks. Everyone dissing me gets blocked, though.

LYN: I’ve seen so many people come in here to beg me not to act in ZLYM. I’m sorry- I can’t promise you that. Alright? Wish for something else. I’M begging YOU. Okay? If it’s financial, I can grant your wish. For example, if you want to eat takeout. I’ll order something for you and make sure you’re full. But you must be full already. Because in order for you to come here and make that request of me means that you have nothing better to do. (“吃饱撑着”) In that case, I won’t order takeout for you. Is there anything else that you might need, that I would be able to fulfill? LYN: Everyone has their own plan for life and their own choices. If there’s something I hope you understand it’s that you can’t change what other people do or the choices they make. You can only choose not to watch or pay attention yourself. But you can’t influence their choices. That’s none of your business.

LYN: Another thing that I don’t particularly like is- everyone online says that I’m ugly, right? I’ll admit that I am not very handsome. Honestly, I look average. But I don’t think its worth the term “ugly”; I’m just basic. Very basic. My fans all love me very much and they have affection for me, since they’ve been with me so long. It’s like a tortoise looking at a mung bean. It suits the eye. Therefore my fans all think I’m very cool. But then there are some people who have to question it, and say, “Are all of LYN’s fans blind? Why do they think he looks handsome?” That’s their own freedom! What do you care what someone’s fans think? Does it have anything to do with you?? What do you care what my fans are saying, you’re just looking for something to pick on. LYN: For example, let’s say you don’t like to go fishing and think that everyone who does are idiots. What gives you the right? You can’t say that just because you don’t like something, everything else who does like it is wrong. Who do you think you are? Why does everyone have to follow your will? LYN: You can simply say that I’m ugly. You could make fun of me, I don’t care. But don’t ever call my fans foolish. No one is dumb. They’re all smarter than you. LYN: I hope that one day you understand that the world doesn’t revolve around one person. There are plenty of things you won’t like. If you don’t like someone- if you say, “LYN, I don’t like you. Go die.” Do you think I would? No way. I have to stay alive. I have to work. I have to fight for the things I like and want to do. I can’t stop because of you.

-----

LYN: There are always these things online that say “LYN is trying to steal ranking”. This industry is so malicious. I can’t change the industry or the world, I just want to say my thoughts. Some time ago, I had already said that I don’t really care about position/ranking. Whatever space the platform gives me, I accept. I go wherever they want me to. But there are a group of people who think: X: “No. LYN, you’re just stealing rank.” LYN: I tell them, “No, I’m not” X: “You are!” LYN: “I’m really not!!” X: “That’s because you aren’t qualified.” LYN: “You’re right. I’m not qualified, so I’m not trying to fight for it.” X: “No, you are.” LYN: ???? LYN: It’s like this. One day- since I chat a lot with people in the industry- I asked someone, “How exactly are the ranks determined? What measure do you use to align people?” Is it that whoever’s popular is in front? Who’s more well-known? Who has the most fans?? It’s actually very simple- I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, but I’ll share anyway. It’s based on the script. It’s not because you’re popular, so you get arranged in the front. There are a few rules, based on the script:

1. Whose point of view is it? For example, if the drama is about the female lead, and we’re seeing from her perspective, then the female lead will be in front.

2. Based on the number of scenes. If you have 200 scenes and someone else has 800 and you want your name to come first, there’s no way to explain why you deserve it.

3. Let’s say the drama is called “Chang Ge Xing”, and I- as Hao Du- want my name to come first. No way. Because it’s a story about Chang Ge.

LYN: The rankings/placement is based on these things, not because of how popular you are or aren’t, or how many fans you have. There’s nothing to fight about. It’s about the drama and the story as the main focus. That’s it.

-----

LYN: There are some friends who keep posting asking about a certain drama that I’ve shot and what the status of it it. (ZY) I won’t mention it because… If I say too much it will affect the end result. So we’re just going to silently acknowledge that it’s a thing. Stop bringing it up. I don’t want to cause any trouble. We’ll just- yeah. Stop mentioning it. LYN: I know you’re looking forward to it. We all are. So let’s just look forward to it together.

C: I waited so long and you’re finally streaming! LYN: Right? I know it’s been a long time. Today was a bit of a coincidence because lately we’ve been wrapping up late- at around 12a. It's not as if I could have started streaming the middle of the night at 12:30a. I wouldn’t have been able to stay up, either. Shooting the drama is a bit more important, so it was better for me to maintain a good condition (and sleep instead).

-----

LYN: ! There’s another rumor, that says “LYN is relatively popular in the industry because: 1. He’s priced low and 2. He’ll sing OSTs for his dramas for free. The producers can save money, so they always decide to choose him.” LYN: … :-( LYN: First of all, it’s true that I am not as good as other people, so- let’s not say that I am cheap- but I am priced fairly. Secondly, I want to clarify- the OSTs are not free. They have never been free. I want to repeat myself today- those watching my stream right now are all witness- When I sing OSTs, it has never been for free. At the most, I’ll give my own dramas a discount. But I have never sung one for free. NEVER. LYN: It’s so unreasonable. Think about it- in a multi-billion dollar investment to produce a drama, do you think they would be lacking the funds to pay an OST singer?? They’re not lacking. At the most I give a discount, or otherwise promote the song. There’s no way I would sing an OST for free. Remember these words: There’s no such thing as a free OST. At least, not here with me. LYN: Who even spread this rumor? How could I sing OSTs for free? This is in direct conflict with my value as a singer.

LYN: Not only are they not free, I consider them as an extra source of income. If it’s a drama that I am acting in, honestly without me even needing to say anything, the producers will ask me if I want to sing a song for the drama. To which I agree. Since it’s a drama I’ve acted in, I feel like I would be able to put more emotion into the song since I have more of an understanding of what’s going on in the story. LYN: Also, in this industry it’s always better to have more skills (艺多不压身). Many of you know that I learned how to cook, right? I’m a professional cook. I spent two years in culinary school, and worked in a restaurant for over a year. Sometimes when I am in discussions to enter a drama crew, the producers ask me if I want to take care of the crew’s meals, too. /joking/ “Can you cover the cooking for lunch for the crew? Two meals a day- lunch and dinner. For breakfast we’ll order takeout. But how about you cook us lunch? There’s only 300 or so people, not much.” XD I really do think of accepting the extra commission, but honestly if I did I’d be too busy to do my main job. Acting - OSTs - AND cooking?? So I decided to let the cooking go for now. I can’t make other people lose work just because I’ve entered a drama crew. That’s no good. I still have to leave a path for survival for people in all the other industries.

LYN: But there is one thing I do for free when I’m acting- that is, being the host for a cast livestream. For example if the drama is expected to do a livestream to greet the audience, I’ll be the host. That’s for free. I can only say that… I have the ability/talent for it. But whether they actually use me for it or not is the producer’s choice. If they need me, I would certainly stream for them for free. Maybe on this front, I could be considered slightly “cheaper” than others.

C: I’ll give you 800RMB, what do you think? LYN: That- I was just joking about it. When have I ever really accepted someone’s money? The only exception is that I have accepted my Sponsor Brother’s (ZSX). I accept money from him, but not from anyone else. C: Who’s the Sponsor Brother? LYN: You should go Baidu it. “Who is the “Sponsor Brother” that LYN mentions in his streams?” Go ask.

-----

C: Are you in a better mood now? LYN: I was never in a bad mood. I’m normal. It’s all alright. LYN: I’ve been really rushed in my schedule lately and it’s true that it’s been a long time since my last one. So I just decided to come stream a little.

LYN: I can’t manage anyone else, but for my fans at least I hope you can treat those you’ve worked with- or anyone, really- nicely. Don’t attack anyone, okay? Control your own emotions. Let’s not get involved with other business, and just play nicely amongst ourselves. LYN: Honestly you should understand that this concepts applies to your everyday life. Let’s say for example you’re walking down the street and someone comes up and punches you. If you don’t retaliate, you can sue or report them. But as soon as you retaliate, even if they started it, you’ll just be beating each other up. Do you get it? Now it’s hard to tell who is in the wrong and who is in the right. So I hope that we can try not to partake in inflicting mutual harm.

C: Ning-ge, sue the antis. LYN: I am, don’t worry. I am the type of person who, before doing anything else, must get all the proof and evidence complete and together first. There’s no need to release a statement that only serves to scare the offender. I need to make sure that I will succeed, before I try to sue. I don’t want to fail, because then it would be meaningless- that’d be like slapping myself in the face. I have a professional legal team working on it. If anything, we just wait for the results. There’s no need to release a statement- let’s skip straight to the results. LYN: Everyone has eyes on public figures, and I think that’s fine and proper. But the problem is you can’t start rumors, you can’t spew nonsense. Once it has an impact on the other party, then you’re about to face some consequences.

- /reading comments, sees something/ LYN: Who.. who is this? Are you crazy?? LYN: Let me tell you- it doesn’t matter whose fan they are- some are just crazy. I don’t deny that some of my own fans are crazy. I met some so-called fans who are not normal. It’s too scary. I’m afraid that one day of one you might come with a knife and try to stab me to death. Purely mentally unstable. It’s not like I am insulting or joking around. There are some who are really just crazy. Friends, I’m not kidding you. This is really dangerous. LYN: You’re still laughing. This is scary stuff! C: Don’t say any more. It’s not worth it. LYN: You don’t know what I’ve been through, so you think it’s not worth it. If you haven’t seen my hardships, then don't try to advise me to be kind. I really have met people who were mentally unstable, and it’s terrifying. Even as a man, I still find it scary. If it were you, you’d probably be scared to death. C: If it’s not happening to you, it will never hurt. LYN: You’re right. This is very normal. If you don’t experience something for yourself, you will never be able to empathize. It’s a hard thing to have, empathy. Of course, I hope that everyone who is watching my stream will always be healthy and happy. Have smooth days and always do better and better.

-----

C: The song you sang for Love You Seven Times was very good. Can you play it? -- Until The End of Time (直到時間盡頭) LYN: After you mentioned YCY, I thought of something else. I’m going crazy. It said, “LYN is suddenly breaking up a CP because he wants to create one with YCY, because his drama with her will be airing.” But the problem is that in the drama I was in with her, we weren’t even a couple. We were like siblings. She and my Sponsor Bro were the couple. But the rumor said that I was trying to tear them apart because I wanted to be in a CP with her. Amazing. It was so unreasonable it started to even make a perverse kind of sense. For a period of time there CY and I stopped all contact with one another. I didn’t want to be the cause of any negative influence for her. Like, who did she offend? It’s fine if you’re just cursing me out, but lumping her in with me was unwarranted. I’m just speechless. LYN: Another article said that YCY and I went to play an escape room together. ZSX was there, too! ZKY was there, too! And LM! I’ve really got to hand it to them.

-----

C: What do you think of the “1.9m tall Sweet-dol”? LYN: … I’m… not very happy to see myself trending for that, but I am also not the type of person to take something for granted. I’m happy to be trending but I think the label might be a problem. It wasn’t made out of ill-intent, to make fun of me, but you really didn’t need to make it. You might think that I am so cute. “1.9m tall and wow, so cute! Ning-ge is cool but cute!” But other people don’t think so. It’s like this- say you’re walking down the street and you see a couple, and the boyfriend keeps calling his girlfriend…- how does it go?- he keeps calling her his “sweet pea”. “What do you want to eat, Sweet Pea?” “You’re so cute, Sweet Pea.” “Sweet Pea, you’re so pretty.” As a passerby, just walking down the street, how would you feel upon seeing them? Tell me. Let’s say this guy looks just average- how would you feel? Do you get what I’m trying to say? You can think that I am a “sweet pea”, a “foolish bean”, whatever- “green bean” is okay, too. But as someone who is just passing by, they might not feel the same way. They might even feel the slightest bit… disgusted. Do you get what I’m saying, friends? LYN: In your hearts I hope that I am more manly of a person. I’m a man, but you’re making me out as a “sweet pea.” At most, I’m a “strange flavored bean”. For this type of thing, I can’t accept the trending topic but also complain about it- so I’m thankful for the trending topic. But in the future, please don’t continue in this direction. You can have your own likes and hobbies, but don’t make other people annoyed because of them. That’s my standpoint.

---------- Break #2

- /comes back, realizes he didn’t get water like he said he would, leaves again/ LYN: Friends- we’re all about the 出其不意 (do something when least expected, here)- C: You drink water right after going to the restroom? LYN: Well-

LYN: Friends- I just saw an yxh post something- “LYN streams and exposes many rumors about ZLYM. He’s really too good. It seems that he may think the drama is beneath him.” I’d like to make myself clear- I very much think highly of the drama. I extremely like the script, otherwise I wound’t have accepted it, right? It’s great, and I know that, therefore I accepted the job. Don’t say any nonsense here, saying that I think the drama is beneath me- I don’t. I love the drama. Okay? I’m telling you directly. LYN: We’re all about eating things “hot”. C: You did so many things while using the restroom. LYN: What does that mean??

C: MUST you drink your water that way? LYN: No, but we want to have little joys in life. First of all, I have to drink the water. But if I don’t drink it out of this cup, wouldn’t I have bought it for nothing? I have to make use of it. I keep drinking water because I don’t want to have bought my toilet for nothing. I have to make use of it, too.

C: Ning-ge, you’re trending at #6. Watch what you’re saying. LYN: Really? I’m worthy enough to have a topic trending in the top 10? This is unbelievable. Now someone has told me to watch what I say because I’m at #4. Em… do you think my makeup today looks okay? Do you think it will effect anyone who is coming in right now’s viewing experience? LYN: I’m at #4?? Should I change into something more formal? I didn’t think I would be trending so high, today. I only wore something casual. Maybe it’s disappointing to people who are watching now because of the trending topic? How about this- wait for me a second while I go put on what I perceive to be the coolest article of clothing in my life. So that I can formally face all the viewers tonight. Okay? I’ll take my coolest piece of clothing- the one I was planning to wear for the New Year. I’ll change into it and then come back to greet you all. Is that okay? The most important piece of clothing in my life. Wait for me.

LYN: Friends, from this moment on, these clothes are the most important clothes of my life. I was planning to wear this for New Year’s, but I’m wearing it today because I made it to trending topic #4. Why is this outfit meaningful? Because it was gifted to me by my good friend HZT. These clothes- let me do an ad while I’m at it- is from the brand YKYB. It’s very important to me. C: There’s no difference. LYN: There is, a big one. While I’m trending, I decided to do an advertisement. Now HZT’s brand can sell well. C: I see. LYN: Later I’ll send this part of my stream to him and he’ll send me 200 RMB, at the very least. Friends, there are plenty of ways to make money in life, you just have to work your brain to figure out how. - C: You’ve pulled the sleeves up? LYN: It’s too hot. I was in a rush to change clothes and now I’m a little warm. - C: It wouldn’t be good to send it to him yourself, would it? LYN: I’m kidding! A mere 200RMB between friends is nothing. C: Straighten your hair. LYN: /pats his hair down/ /laughs foolishly/

C: Ning-ge, you’re hot? There’s such a thing in this world called an “air conditioner.” LYN: You’re returning my words back to me, I see.

LYN: Thank you to everyone who is watching my stream. Sometimes when I start trending, a lot of new friends show up. If you have not yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning.

C: My husband says your hairstyle looks very nice! LYN: Your husband thinks my hair looks good? He has good taste. I’m sure you are also very pretty, and that’s why your husband chose you. The two of you are great.

-/starts singing along to Fall in Love/ LYN: They say that music is a man’s best cosmetic medicine. Here, it’s time for my medicine.

C: Ning-ge, how are you so young today? LYN: Which means to say that usually I look very haggard? I look young today because I’ve turned on the beauty filters. /laughs/

C: Is there anything else hot? LYN: What do you mean? Is the only reason you’ve clicked into my stream because I was trending and you wanted to see me fired up? I don’t know why, but I don’t feel good about that. Am I only here for your entertainment? Okay, fine. C: Ning-ge, you’re at #1. LYN: No, I’m not. I know there’s no way I can ever get that high.

C: Ning-ge, you’re so thin you look like a monkey. [t/n: ???] LYN: Look at this! This is a prime example of “when you’re popular, you’ll see all kinds of bs.” When I’m streaming the rest of the time, no one ever comes in here and tells me I look like a monkey. But now that I’m trending and a bunch of passersby are filtering in, the mood becomes chaotic and people start to deliver personal attacks. They said I looked like a monkey. … I’ve been cyberbullied, friends. Why do I feel like I’ve been cyberbullied?

-----

LYN: Let me take a look. I don’t believe this- /checks the trending topics/ !! What an extra topic! I thought it was just “LYN Livestream” and was confused how it could get so high. There’s no way, because I always stream and that’s not a new thing. It turns out they added a whole bunch of suffixes! I’m sorry, friend! That one who asked me if there was anything else “hot”- I’ve misjudged you. You DID come in exactly for that. I’m sorry. I thought the topic only read “LYN Livestream”, but it reads: “LYN Livestream_Replies to AAA, ETC.” After adding all the stuff behind it, I can see now that you came in precisely to hear the tea. C: You only just noticed? LYN: I just found out. I just thought it was “LYN Livestream”, because that’s usually what I always trend under. I didn’t know there was something tacked on this time. LYN: Well- I guess I have to reply. LYN: It’s like this, friend- for a period of time there was a bunch of news about me that entertained the masses, right? C: I was entertained. LYN: 去你的. In your heart, am I merely a joke? I thought I was important to you, but it turns out that to you I am only a joke?? I’m here for your entertainment?!

C: He’s flustered. LYN: Anyone would be. Friends, this is a livestream. It’s not pre-recorded and I can’t go back and censor myself to see if there are any holes in what I say. Even if there were, there should only be a few. But this is a stream, so every word I say is being recorded by media accounts just waiting to be posted in real-time. I’m just a laughingstock to you.

C: It’s too early to be called a laughingstock. LYN: Are you trying to tell me I’m very precious? Not only am I a laughingstock, you’re also trying to appease me by saying I’m precious because this happens rarely? “You’re a laughingstock, but you’re still precious. Use that to comfort yourself.”

LYN: It’s like this- let me tell you again. Regarding this project, I am very much in favor of it. This is not because I have the power to change things to my own whim. I really just think that it is a great project. As soon as I saw the script I thought it was ok, and I wanted to take it on. I wanted to go, therefore I accepted the job. Otherwise, why would I accept it? I think highly of this drama. LYN: There are a lot of rumors surrounding this drama that I feel I need to let my fans and those who do not know the truth know. I thought I should say what I want to say. I’m not trying to offend any person or platform. I just need to give clarification on the rumors. If can believe me, please do. If you can’t, then that’s your loss. You can also consider it entertainment. It’s just that simple. This doesn’t need too much explanation. LYN: Many of you probably don’t know me, and could think that I am being blunt/harsh with my words. I’ve always been like this. When there are problems, I come online and chat about it to my fans. I don’t like holding it back, because I can’t keep my mouth shut anyway. I just come on here to chat about it. It is not in an effort to attack or offend anyone. I only want to give an explanation to things I’ve seen or rumors that are being discussed. Very simple.

C: You really can’t hold it. LYN: /sigh/ Do you think I can’t sense that you’re being sarcastic? Friends- very early on I learned how to be a cook, and after that I worked in a restaurant as a waiter. I was a waiter bussing tables for 2-3/3-4 years. Later I went to a bar to be a singer, and did that for 5-6 years. I am very good at hearing the tone of people’s voices. If you want to survive in this world, if you can’t hear what people are saying you are not likely to make it very far. You’re not going to survive. You know? So I can tell how many layers of hidden meanings are behind the words you say. That friend who said I “can’t hold it”, what you’re trying to say is that I… my body’s not very healthy, right? I meant that I have something I need to say, and I can’t hold it back. But your “You’re right. You can’t hold it”- There’s two different meanings there. My body’s fine. I can hold it. I can prove it, because I just had my physical and have the paperwork. I’m fine except for the fact that I’m a bit lacking in calcium, so I’ve been taking supplements lately to make up for that.

-----

C: When you’re done with this drama and idling at home, can you stream 28 days of the month? LYN: I- let’s not. I have other things to do. I have to make preparations for my next drama. Like getting Thermage treatment, working out, do some running, look at the script, etc. - C: Is it really you? LYN: /laughs/ What do you mean? Is it really me? …It is. - C: Don’t do Thermage, it doesn’t work. Trust me. LYN: … Reality can’t deter my will to improve. I’ll do it anyway!

C: Ning-ge, go look, quick. There are three topics trending right now that are dissing you. LYN: Let me go take a look, friends. What does it mean, “diss topics”? LYN: /looks/ /gulps/

C: Quickly, refute the rumors. LYN: ?! What are you talking about?? What should I be refuting? Seriously, what are you talking about. I really don’t know. I saw something.. One about one drama, the other about another drama… and a “LYN Livestream.” What else is there? There’s nothing to refute. It doesn’t say anything. LYN: Oh, are those two words about me, too? Let me click in and take a look. /reading the comments/ ? I see a lot of comments complimenting me, though. A lot of them are laughing so much their heads are about to fall off. We can’t just look at the bad ones without looking at the good ones, right? We’ve got to be fair.

C: Ning-ge, can you focus on streaming? LYN: What is my content supposed to be? I just think the charm of a livestream is that there is interaction. We’re interacting in real-time- all the topics and posts you’re seeing, I can see too. So now this serves as a reaction video.

-----

C: I came without reason. LYN: There’s no need for that. I’m not trending for anything good, anyway. If I were trending for something good or if the noodles I made were delicious, so you came without reason- those would be fine. Right now I’m just a laughingstock.

C: I came because of the trending topic. LYN: See? Weibo is a great platform to publicize for artists. A lot of people didn’t know who I was, but because of this trending topic today, they’ve come into my stream, and now they’ve gotten to know me a little. After they encounter me more, bit by bit, they might come to have an understanding of me and start liking me. It’s possible that they could become my anti-fan, too. That’s always a possibility. But even if I only gain ten fans with this stream, that still means I will sell ten more concert tickets. It’s all good. LYN: Anyway, weibo is a great help to artists, so I want to take this time to thank them. Thank you, Weibo. Thank you to all the people who made it into my stream today.

LYN: Friends- many of you may think of me as a laughingstock, but I want to introduce myself. I am a singer. Right now I’m- someone’s saying I’m giving weibo a backhanded compliment?? What do you mean?! Look at this- another rumor. I just finished saying that weibo is a great help to artists, and now you’re saying that I’m actually dissing weibo?? What the f- Oh my god.

LYN: Anyway- I’m a singer. Right now I’m also acting. Many of you might not know me. So I’d like to sing a nice song for everyone, okay? -- 我是一只小小鸟 (A Tiny Bird) [t/n: some fitting lyrics. XD] ~ Sometimes I feel like I’m just a small bird. I want to fly, but can’t fly high no matter what I do. Maybe one day I will be sitting on a branch, and become the target of hunters. I’ll fly into the sky, but only then realize that know I am helpless with nothing to rely on. Every night in the middle of the night, I can’t sleep. The world is so small, and there is nowhere to escape. ~ LYN: /bites his nails/ C: There are no lyrics. LYN: It’s not important. I don’t think this song fits my mood. Let me think of something more fitting to represent my mood. Erm… Uh… Um…. Eh...

C: Tank. LYN: I don’t get what you mean. C: 爷们要战斗 (Men Fight). LYN: /revs up/ /thinking/ C: 我爱这个世界 (I Love this World) LYN: No- What do you mean? Why do you want me to sing a song called “I Love this World”? Am I going to be saying goodbye to it or??? No, right? Why does that seem like someone’s last words?

-- 阳光开朗大男孩 (Sunny and Cheerful Boy) LYN: I just wanted to be a sunny and cheerful boy! W- wearing these glasses I feel like the only thing I’m missing is a swimming cap. I feel like I’m about to go swimming.

C: Remember to turn on the mic. LYN: What do you mean by that? It’s on. The sound is on.

-----

C: Are there really antis in your stream? LYN: There are. I can’t really call them “antis.” But the stream is public. Weibo livestreams are a bit like that- they allow all heroes from under the sky to come. All the heroes under the world pass by this place and have to curse at me a few times before they go. They feel like spitting out a word or two would gain them a peanut. Usually when I stream not many people are watching/paying attention. It’s only like this today because… I have too many trending topics. Maybe it’s because I’ve been holding it in for 32 days and so I’ve said too much this stream. Maybe those people didn’t have an outlet before, but now I’m here to release the flood. I’ll make it thrilling, so people can be happy. I’m just a laughingstock, after all.

C: Why did you tell the fans you were going to stream today? LYN: I called you all here so that you can hold up the stream. I was afraid that after I said what I needed to say today, I would be cursed out so badly it all turns to shambles. But now my friends are here, so we’ll see who dares to make a move against me.

C: Ning-ge, then this group of friends of yours have supported you enough to have five trending topics. Aren’t we reliable? LYN: Let me tell you- I think these of five trending topics… most of the work was not done by you, actually. There’s a saying that goes, “Good things never leave the house, but bad things are known across a thousand miles.” You’re all here to protect me and be positive. No one likes to hear the positive things. C: Then should you be happy or should you cry? LYN: There’s something called 悲喜交集 (having mixed feelings of grief and joy). With some proverbs, you might spend your whole life never understanding. But then, at some moment in time, you’ll find that you didn’t even know that you have understood it. At this very moment I have understood the proverb “悲喜交集”. I’m sure that people who are watching my stream and know me, and have experienced this along with me, also understand this proverb. The intersection of laughing and crying. Mixed feelings of grief and joy. LYN: Where does the “grief” come from? It comes from me not wanting to click into the trending topic because I’m sure all the comments are bad. There are of course, the compliments, but also the ones cursing at me. The majority is probably bad. Otherwise the topic wouldn’t be trending. This is the first point. It makes me sad because it’s all about people cursing at me. /fake cries/ Where does the “joy” come from? It comes from the fact that a lot more people are getting to know me, now. C: You’re at #1 now. LYN: Why don’t I just stop streaming now?? How about I stop? LYN: … LYN: Let me stop streaming. I’m sure- /sigh/ LYN: Hold on, let me use the restroom quickly. Wait for me a sec.

---------- Break #3

LYN: I don’t have any works out right now, but you’ve gotten me trending at #1. I’m a little out of wits. C: What are you afraid of. LYN: Nothing! I just wanted to take a look. I want to see what they’re saying; I’m fine. Why don’t I sing a song, then? Show my talents to the masses?

C: Promote the previous dramas again. LYN: Which actor’s fan are you, tell me. Tiger & Crane’s? Bright Eyes in the Dark? Or The South Wind Knows? You saw that there are a lot of people in the stream, so you want me to advertise the dramas again. XD C: All of them. LYN: You sure are a fan of a lot of people.

LYN: Could you please not start spamming with other artists’ names, though? Because I really can’t afford to take any more heat. They’re all people I respect a lot. Don’t get them involved.

LYN: Let me sing something. What should I sing…? C: 江湖之上 (Above the Jianghu) LYN: You want me to sing this? Ok, let’s do it. -- 就在江湖之 (Above the Jianghu) [Mysterious Lotus Casebook OST] - LYN: Someone keeps telling me, “Ning-ge, don’t get flustered!” I’m not. It’s not worth it. - C: You killed it better than the original singer. LYN: That’s not necessary. You don’t need to rag on the original singer like that. Four words: Noone has it easy.

LYN: The four most terrifying words I can see right now are: I came without reason. What does that even mean? As if you even wanted to be here in the first place? Aren’t you just here to see the excitement? C: My roommate forced me here. LYN: What a good roommate.

C: You’re on fire now, ge. LYN: /laughs/

C: Ning-ge, you gained fans. LYN: If you haven’t yet subscribed to my weibo, please do so. Who would have thought that I only wrapped up with work early and came to stream today, and it would all turn out like this? - C: Can you take AAA to do Thermage? LYN: You- you must be crazy. Do you think I’m actually in the cosmetic medicine industry? - LYN: Anyway, my stream is mostly for my own fans. I just came here today to chat, but who knew it’d be like this… C: Just enjoy it.

C: You sound so strange. LYN: I sound strange? My voice sounds strange?? Are you being serious? LYN: /uses his acting voice/ You say I sound strange? Nonsense! I was only not using Standard Mandarin, is all. How about now? Do you still think I sound strange? It’s because when I stream, I’m used to using my Northeastern accent because it feels more familiar/close. But really, I can speak Standard Mandarin. Okay? I know how. C: It wasn’t strange before, but it is now. LYN: /laughs/ How strange!

LYN: Someone’s trying to test me! They want me to say a tongue-twister. LYN: /clears his throat/ /gets ready/ /bursts out laughing/ LYN: I was seriously preparing to say one! I think I’m starting to fall for your tactics.

C: I want to hear the bubble sound. LYN: Ah? What.. what is the bubble sound? I don’t understand. I just wanted to sharreeeee a fuunnnnn thingggg. To this day I still don’t understandddd what the “bubble sound” isssss. /giggles/

C: Ge, I ate and came back and you’re still streaming. LYN: … What do you want me to do about it? Is it my fault or?? Did you eat too fast, or did I stream too long? It’s honestly been a long time since I last did a stream- about 32 days. My fans couldn’t hold out for much longer.

C: Do you have the “loli”-sound? [t/n: ??] LYN: You demands are too high! /puts on a sound effect/ What do you mean? What is the “loli”-sound? /adjusts the sound/ Is it like this?

LYN: Yeah, I couldn’t hold out either. We wrapped early today so I came to stream for a bit. I was planning to stay for a bit longer.

C: Is this a livestream? LYN: It is. I am currently streaming, friends.

C: Ning-ge, since you’re trending, you have to spend the new year with us. LYN: You mean stream past 12a? There’s no need. It’s about time. Let me see how long I’ve been on for. It’s been three hours already. Three hours, so it’s about time.

C: 8 trending topics, I’m laughing to death. LYN: Is that very funny? It’s not funny.

C: Talk about your beads. LYN: There’s nothing to say, really. I’ve just taken a liking to the beads. They’re mostly wooden. If I fidget with them it’s stress relieving. A few days ago my friend saw me and asked why I started playing with them, and was there anything worrying me? I told them no, I’m purely playing with them for fun. LYN: I think many people in the stream might also like to play with them. It brings you a sense of accomplishment. You start with something more wood colored, and as you play with them you can cause a change in color, texture, etc. They slowly transform into a color and shape that you like. If you also add some accessories, you’ll find a sense of accomplishment. If you like bracelets, it’s something you can keep for a long time. It’s a personal hobby. Just like how some people like to play on their phones. It’s just a matter of habit.

----- Daimi time!

C: Can we see Daimi? LYN: Daimi! She hadn’t had a wash lately. Daimi, come here. // I was planning on getting her washed and trimmed, but I think the groomer’s was closed or something. I can’t remember. She hasn’t had a grooming, so she’s all lumpy.

C: She looks thinner? LYN: No, she just got her hair trimmed. She actually got fatter by 2lbs. LYN: Alright. You can go. They’ve seen you, and that’s enough.

LYN: Look at this back! Look at this back, and tell me if you really think she’s gotten thinner or not! There’s no way she’s getting thinner. She just eats sausages all day. She’s gotten a bit fat.

-----

C: I’ve had night full of melon, hahaha. LYN: /gives the camera a stare/

LYN: Friends, I’ll be leaving first, alright? I want to thank you for your company and support. If you still have not subscribed to my weibo, please do so. I hope everyone who came to my stream tonight has had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope you had fun. I’ll see you again in the next stream. C: When’s the next time? LYN: That’s why you have to subscribe and turn on notifications to my weibo. When the time comes it will alert you that I’m streaming. Please subscribe. But I’ll be finishing up in the drama crew, so the time is not determined.

LYN: Alright, that’s about enough. Goodnight, everyone. Goodnight.

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(3:18:48)#topics:#promos!#& having a bone to pick with all the antis #he's just going off on all the rumors lmao #and made it multiple times in the trending topics bc of this stream

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animeomegas · 2 years

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Okay, I’ve been having so much fun with your guys’ ex prompts! I thought I’d share a few of my own little prompts too!

I’ve done Neji, Asra, Midoriya and the Obey me! brothers.

Neji:

Imagine an ex of yours turning up in Konoha. You bump into him by accident and he’s obviously heavily pregnant. He says he’s only in a big village because it’s the safest place to give birth and he doesn’t intend to butt in on your life or anything, you don’t have to worry.

Unfortunately, all the hotels are booked full for a festival he didn’t know about, and that’s why he was wondering around Konoha in the brutal summer heat. Ex or not, you couldn’t leave him like that, so you offered to get him some water and a place to rest for a while.

You get to talking while he rests. You ask him what he’s been up to and he says he’s been traveling, that some stuff changed in his life, and he’s been dealing with it by finding new meaning and wondering around all the countries. You make a joke about the baby being the biggest life change, and how does he plan on wondering around with a newborn?

He doesn’t laugh and instead gets quiet. He admits that he doesn’t plan on leaving with the pup, but leaving them at the Konoha orphanage. He says that’s the main reason he picked Konoha over other big villages; the orphanage is better here.

Oh, is the only thing you can think to say.

He tears up a bit and just says he doesn’t want to talk about it, but he can’t keep the baby, there’s no way.

He’s leaving them at the orphanage and that’s final. Unless, he jokes, you want to have them.

You freeze because you and Neji have been trying unsuccessfully for your own pups going on two years, and were starting to look into adoption. You were struggling a little, because while you and Neji were happy taking in an older child, Neji wants at least one full baby to adult raising experience, but babies were hard to come by.

You ex notices your face and is like... do you want them? You can have them if you want? It’d make me feel better to know they’re loved and happy and you’ll be a great appa.

Your brain makes an error noise and you stutter out that you need to talk to your mate.

Speak of the devil, Neji gets home just at that moments. He asks who this is? And you awkwardly say that it’s your ex and then ask to talk to him in private.

You tell him your ex’s offer. Neji is shocked and a little hesitant. What if your ex changes his mind last minute or they come back into your life later and try to claim parenthood.

You say you’ll get it done properly so you’re both the parents and that you’ve known your ex for a long time and they’re definitely leaving without this pup.

Neji is still in shock but he says yes. You talk to your ex and offer to put him up for free until he gives birth in exchange. You weren’t going to throw him back out into the sun without a place to stay anyway, but doubly if he’s now carrying your pup.

Neji has a major freak out when he realises your ex is due in a week and you have no supplies and no nursery. He works round the clock to get it all set up, which is probably the main reason why he has no problem with you spending most of your time looking after your ex XD

When the baby comes, your ex follows through, signs away their rights and leave Konoha as soon as they’re cleared to leave the hospital. He doesn’t even hold the pup, he lets Neji be the first one to hold them.

But he does make you both to promise to love them like your own.

Neji says they are his own.

And your ex leaves and you never hear from them again.

...

Midoriya:

This one is more light hearted.

So, you and Midoriya are both in the top ten, working your ways up and building your relationship at the same time, each from different hero schools, but successful nonetheless. Things are great!

Until you get a call from your PR team telling you to look up a certain tiktok account.

A tiktok account where your ex from high school has been posting a bunch of variations on the ‘famous relative check’ and memes about dating such a famous hero as a teen.

All the posts contain embarrassing teen shenanigans caught on camera, cringe kissing pics and even a pic of a poem you’d written for them while drunk.

And of course it’s already gone viral.

You tell Midoriya, worried he might be uncomfortable by all of this, but the little shit just saves all the funny videos and giggles at them for hours. He claims to need them because you didn’t get to meet at school together and he doesn’t know what you were like then.

But you know he’s just doing this for his own pleasure 😒

Your PR team issues cease and desist letters, but the damage has been done and you’re too scared to the tweets that are under your trending hashtag.

And Midoriya made his screensaver a picture of teenage you in McDonalds with straws in your lips like walrus teeth because of course he did.

The final straw was when he made his twitter profile pic that photo and all your fans took that as a sign to do the same. You couldn’t escape that photo for months.

Your ex was such a bitch.

...

Asra:

Reader doesn’t remember much, right? so when they find a small wooden box at the back of their wardrobe, they have no idea what it is, but it must be theirs right?

They open it and it’s full of love letters and poems and drawings of hearts. After reading all of them, you realise you wrote them, but to who you can’t remember.

You take them to Asra and ask if you ever had a lover before?

Asra reads the first one and his hands are shaking. He realises that you wrote these for him but never gave them to him.

He stutters out something about not being sure and then flees to his room to cry. He sneaks the rest of the letters from you when you’re asleep that night and makes copies of them so he can read them over and over again.

...

Obey me! Non-romantic/ implied romance with all like in canon:

So, this MC is not one who is so ignorant about demons. I mean sure, they don’t know much, but they now something.

The brothers don’t think it’s too weird how accepting you are to be in the Devildom, I mean Solomon seemed incredibly excited, so maybe you were just a strange human like him.

But you always seem to know just a little bit too much on some topics. Mainly summoning and demon anatomy and demon courting rituals.

Asmo is the person you tell all this stuff to, but he doesn’t realise anything is weird about you knowing that until he mentions it to Satan who is like... how does a human know that???

And Asmo’s like huh, I didn’t think about that. (Because he was distracted talking about gossip.)

All the brothers eventually start to figure out that something is a bit weird with you, and one night at one of Diavolo’s parties, something happens.

You’re chatting with them all when you spot something over Lucifer’s shoulder. Your face drains of colour and you say ‘shit, hide me!’ and immediately dive behind Mammon.

The brothers are hella confused and start asking questions. Frustrated, you just say, look he’s my ex okay, just hide me please!’

They’re all silent until Lucifer asks if you really used to date Behemoth. Like, the demon Behemoth.

And you’re like yeah, lol, summoned him by accident once, but he got way too clingy... which btw I’m starting to think is a demon thing in general, but whatever. He fully cried when I asked him to stop reverse summoning himself into my living room at random moments, so I don’t want to talk to him. Rumour has it he’s been looking for me since he heard I’m here.

Just saying that is enough to have all the demon brothers on the defensive, circling around you like a pack of wolves. It works to hide you, in their defence, but it’s not exactly as subtle as you’d have liked...

#hcs #headcanons #asra #obey me #a/b/o #omegaverse #x reader #neji #naruto #asmo #bnha #mha #midoriya #reader insert

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boringbones · 11 months

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Tag 9 People You Want to Know Better

Very kind of you @missy-hissy ! I think it's one of my first times in a tag like this. As someone who has never been to a 15th birthday party before, I feel lucky to be able to participate in this xD

Last Song: Not definitely the last song I listened to, but I've been frequently listening to Beyoncé's new album. It has a great beat, and I broke my record by running 5 kilometers in 23 minutes while listening to it. It's my go-to workout song from now on. Apart from that, the soundtrack of The Sims 1 and 2 is constantly on my daily playlist.

Last Show: I haven't finished watching it yet, but I'm definitely a fan of Marie Forleo. She has a fascinating program on YouTube, and she herself is a fascinating woman, with captivating guests. The last show I watched was this one with Seth Godin

Currently Watching: Young Sheldon. We finished watching all six seasons yesterday, my girlfriend and I. I laughed a lot, and I loved that the sixth season gave more prominence to the other members of Sheldon's family. They are as fascinating as Sheldon himself, and I can see a bit of myself in each of them. Even in Sheldon himself. Haha ( I love his grandma too! That woman is the part of me that would break any rule simply because she can and because she wants to.)

Currently Reading: The last book I read (although it's been a while since I read) was this incredible book by Marie Forleo: Everything is Figureoutable. However, a book that changed my life and the way I perceive God/Religion and connected me to real-life experiences was "Conversations with God." These authors not only inspire me daily, but here's a little-known fact: I'm also a writer, and it was through this connection that I published my book “Tomando um chá com o universo / Having Tea with the Universe - The path from non-religion to living the life of your dreams and finding happiness" In it, I share the process I underwent to rid myself of "information overload" and find a path where I no longer let myself be guided solely by the pursuit of purpose, but instead embrace the fascinating art of being alive and present each day. In other words, finding meaning and joy in all things, rather than being consumed by the constant search for "purpose," which is often more of an ideal than a reality.

A book that I recommend to all artists who are reading this: "The War of Art." Once you read this book, your creative process will never be the same. If you can't find it, any other book by Steven Pressfield should be on your reading list as soon as possible! It offers valuable insights and strategies to overcome creative blocks and resistance.

Current Obsession: My current obsession has been finding ways to make The Sims 3 even more fascinating! I've been doing this for the past three years, mostly through visual enhancements. However, this year I started delving into tuning mods and XML, and it's fascinating how many behaviors and mechanics can be improved just by tweaking a few lines! I'm definitely enabling a series of autonomous behaviors and seeking ways to make them smarter and more methodical. My ideal for The Sims 3 is not to have full control over everything but rather to be an observer who influences certain moments in my Sims' lives. To achieve that, I need to ensure that they can do EVERYTHING possible on their own to explore their lives to the fullest. I want to guarantee surprises and unpredictability, with my presence there only to support and occasionally influence them. Apart from that, I'm also fascinated by Life By You and how I can migrate all these enhancements to it when it's released.

So I’ll tag: @math-blogging, @grandelama, @thesims1master, @microscotch, @pixelated-sim, @itssimplythesims, @simsi45, @kevinvoncrastenburg, @landgraabsims

Naturally, feel free to ignore if you don’t fancy doing this and above all, have a terrific day!

#text post #non-sims

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dirty-bosmer · 1 year

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Me again lol. don't know why I asked the last q on anon. I just made a new blog for fandom stuff and am self conscious cause I don't have much on it. Didn't want you thinking I was a bot! Anywho, I've calmed down and actually have another question re: fic writing. I'm considering writing an Oblivion fic (thank you SO MUCH for the insp, fell in love with fic again while reading yours) and am wondering : What was your inspiration for Lucien and his relationship with Nim? It's so deliciously twisted, and I have only read one other fic that braves the territory you do (have you read Love and Blood on FF? also themes of obsession and the author's Lucien is VILE). Kinda rare to see a story that's not afraid of making him actually villainous, wicked, and believably the murderous lunatic he is in game (I dont want prince charming anymore!!!) I mean hear me out, the fanon is fun too and I got a kick out of it for years, but it's SO refreshing to read something beyond another iteration of the smooth, suave, reticent but romantic characterization in dozens of Lucien/Silencer fics.

Got any book recs for characters or relationships like the ones you write about? (hope this okay. I'm srsly just so excited rn like u kno the feeling when you finally get a fic that does it the way you see in your head and are like YES THAT LET ME CONSUME IT anywho here i'm rambling again good day)

My kind of people lmao. First of all, goodness, thank you again! I don’t know what I’m going to do with all these compliments besides become a puddle on the floor.

That is seriously so sweet of you (despite the morbid nature of the content you are complimenting). And yeah, look, it's a story about two murderers and their descent into madness. The companionship forged between them is obviously not going to be pretty, heh. For a long while, however, I was worried no one would like it cause I gleaned that fanon Lucien is a little more... tame? Or he’s sexy XD Anyway, I've had people comment on how much of a sicko edgelord he is in the fic (both positively and negatively lol). I really appreciate that you love what I’ve done with him but just want to say there is no right or wrong way to do it! There’s stuff out there for everyone’s taste, and I am not and never will write with the intention of making the story palatable to everyone. I decided to give it my all writing him menacing and icky and pyscho cause that’s what intrigued me,. I'm happy with it! And I am Infinitely more happy that you like it too 🥰

And yeah, it makes me feel weird to say aloud that I love all that dark, twisted stuff in fiction, but the heart wants what it wants 🤷‍♀️ I just love a “romance” story that's not actually a romance at all but rather a work of horror— an exploration of the dark recesses of the human psyche that breed obsession and the all-consuming need to devour. I got a healthy, fulfilling relationship irl. I want my fictional characters to squirm a bit, and damn but I want to be equally uncomfortable when I indulge, ya know??

Gonna put the rest under a cut here:

As for inspiration regarding the relationship/Lucien, this is gonna sound so weird lol but Griffith and Guts from Berserk, Hannibal the TV show, the band Deftones (hit me up for song recs). Some creepy uncomfy books that explore similar dark themes: Damage by Justine Hart, The Vegetarian by Han Kang, Lolita by Vladimir Nabakov, You by Caroline Kepnes, Boy Parts by Eliza Clark. Also soooo many movies. There are too many to name (hit me up again hehe).

For Lucien, p much anytime I read/watch a character being a sick little freak I take note of it (see above). I’ve also listened to Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s podcasts about narcissism (she is a doctor of psychology and a leading expert in the field who was studying narcissism loooong before it became a commonly known personality trait). It really helped me understand the human capacity for manipulation and cruelty, how someone can go through life working to get what they want while only being capable of loving themselves.

Oh, and you know, I looked it up and think I started Love or Blood a really long time ago but haven’t read any fic on FF in years cause the site is p much unusable to me. Was it about Janus Hassildor? I don’t think I ever got to the Lucien bits. Maybe I’ll pick it up again. I’ve read so many Lucien fics, I can surely read another, and if it’s similar tropes, I’ll probably enjoy it.

While I have your attention, I would be remiss to not mention some other DB/Lucien fics that I enjoy. Next of Kin features a younger Lucien, and he and Tal (the MC) are delightful and dirty and so real. They have a great dynamic. The relationship feels earned. Also Lucien is believably a career assassin and rotten at the core while also retaining his humanity and the capacity for tenderness. I’m picky with romance in general. I can't do heavy handedness and often times I find the characterization of a loving Lucien kind of contrived or saccharine or just not for me (and that’s okay! It wasn’t written for me. We all have our preferences and mine do not skew tender D:), but this is flawlessly executed, lemme tell you. The writing is PHENOMENAL. Truly some of the best I’ve read among fic. I’ve raved about it on my blog, as it’s quite rare to find a story that balances its themes as well as this does. Also Fortune’s Favorite is very dear to me. It features another monstrous Lucien who is undeniably gross and predatory. He’s not the main focus, but the story is otherwise full of angst and sadness. So too light and love and oof, I got misty eyed at several parts. There are multiple relationships in this fic, each of them juicy, but Lucien’s relationship with the MC is a horrific descent, quite a disaster (in the best of ways) and truly so entertaining to read.

So yeah that was... a lot lol. Hope it helps. Also please tag me in anything you write! I get so excited to see new Oblivion fics and would love to talk shop and writing. It’s how we learn knew things and improve :))

#asks #The Illusionist #Lucien Lachance #Lucien/Nim #fanfic recs

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hyacinthquetzal · 6 months

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Just saw the FNAF movie, and I can already see myself talking about it to new, younger kids in the future like, yeah, that came out when I was 16, it was so long ago 😂 It’s so fascinating and cool and borderline fever-dream-ish to see it on a theatre screen when you’ve known it as games and art your whole life— especially with the visual references and the sound design. I can see this becoming nostalgic reaaally quick— and with so many people cosplaying at the theaters as well, maybe including myself? I mean, I was a bit disappointed by the lack of sudden jumpscares, as that is what the games use as their mane scare tactic. Also the random change of lore a tad? I’ll uhhhh. Vibe with it.

It was crazy to see everyone absolutely going hard XD I went low key, but I still got recognized a few times, it was pretty awesome! It was so cool to see everyone excited and coming together over a shared interest. It’s like going to a football game and finding someone wearing the same jersey as your own, I suppose! I’ve never been super hardcore in the fandom, but seeing the community in person and the excitement and creativity and the dedication— it’s something I respect. Y’all go and be awesome, guys.

Also spoilers below here for a single sentence about something I noticed —————

Micheal getting yeeted and having a short-lived toss-across-a-table throw-down match with Peepaw Willy was 100% something I did not expect, but 100% something I needed to see, regardless if I knew it or not 😂 also that design and literally every small detail. I can tell you that me and my friend were death gripping each other and they were digging their nails into my arm in excitement, my gosh XD It was a super great experience, even if I’m not one for horror. I’m glad I went!

#fnaf #fnaf movie #review?#that was actually pretty good #I just absolutely loved when little balloon boy scared the crap out of the driver #peak comedy I tell you #I like to imagine he had to throw himself at the car three times very fast because he’s so small #little short film about how he reaches things #also PG-13??? haha doesn’t that mean implied death. that was very obviously implied 😂#also my gosh #the end credits made everyone in the theatre scream I was so proud of them in that moment #that movie was definition of edge-on-your-seat #everyone was basically strangling the person next to them to see what would happen next #and HELLO #VANESSA????#I’m just stunned honestly #I did not expect it to be such a rich experience #not even from the movie but from the fans #that was lit my guy #I just really like how close the anamatronics looked to how they are in the games #I was proud of that #and yet they were still scary and not a bit silly #like they didn’t change pretty much anything #it was so great man

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painted-fanbird · 11 months

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Still thinking about Kelsier because when am I not honestly XD

This time it’s how I’m choosing to characterize Rewrite Kelsier, because I crave a very specific flavor of Kelsier that seems pretty different from the general perception of him I’ve gleaned from scrolling through his tag lol

My Kelsier is many things, much like he is in canon. A drama queen, a dreamer, a man who can’t stay away from a challenge, he’s cunning, he ruthless

But at his core? He is kind, and he loves so, so deeply.

He’s also traumatized and suicidal.

Because to me, it is love that drives Kelsier’s actions within The Final Empire. It’s love that drives the Rebellion, that has him looking after the skaa when he can because they are hurt and traumatized and they need someone to inspire hope. It’s love and kindness that has him plucking Vin off the streets, teaching her allomancy and friendship, and it’s of course love that has him looking at Vin like the daughter he never had with Mare. Then there’s the crew, who you can’t tell me he doesn’t love. Because I think he does, deeply. These are his friends and he cares so much about them.

Kelsier’s methods for change are violent yes, but Scadrial is a violent world. Don’t forget, this is the world where it was codified into law that you are allowed to rape a skaa woman, as long as you killed her after so she couldn’t bear any bastard children. This is the world that held an executioners axe over his, Marsh’s, the crew’s, and Vin’s heads because of the very nature of what they are. He is merely matching what he’s being given.

But then there’s the lynchpin of his entire plan with the Rebellion. To die and mythologize himself as a martyr. That is not an act of selfless love. That is an act of hurt, coming from a man who doesn’t think he has anything to live for once the Rebellion is done. Kelsier is traumatized by Hathsin, Mare is dead, the society he lives in is callous and cruel and uncaring. The fight is all he has left, once that’s done his purpose will be fulfilled. So he makes it a last, brilliant hurrah, so that even if he fails the world might be a better place.

He dies in the best way he could have hoped. Fighting for the people he loves.

Then he doesn’t. Suddenly he’s alive and he’s not supposed to be. The Rebellion succeeded! The Lord Ruler is dead! He realized Mare’s dream!

And he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

So Kelsier throws himself into researching the missing Atium cache, into researching the secrets Rashek kept on Allomancy, both because he is truly curious about the answers to both things, but also so he doesn’t have to look in the eye the fact he wishes he didn’t wake up. The fight is over. What’s left for him?

That’s the crux of his arc in my rewrite. Kelsier has to learn how to live after spending so long trying to be dead. Which he does, ultimately. It’s two books worth of arc, but he realizes that he’s hurt and traumatized, but he loves and is loved. He has the whole crew, he has the kids, and life will get better. You can heal from that hurt. But you have to give it time. It does help that the man causing most of the problems is dead now, so the world is literally a better place to live, but my point still stands lol.

It’s better to live than it is to die, and ultimately Kelsier is a good man. Truly, one of the best the crew has ever known <3

#bird caws #mistborn #mistborn rewrite #kelsier #I am not mentally well about this man #can you tell?#anyway if I actually see anyone claiming Kelsier is cruel or a bad person #I’m going to rip them apart with my teeth

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lilyminer · 2 years

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Headcanon Time

I’m once again in dsmp pantheon headcanon hell, I have a lot more to say about it now. So first of all what sent me down my little rabbit hole is this comment left on one of my previous dsmp pantheon headcanon posts:

So yes, this exactly. You’re explaining my headcanon for me thank you, lol.

Foolish as the god of life is more connected to the physically plane then the spiritual one. But that made me consider the other differences between him and the other deities, another way he differs is unlike most of his fellow deities he does not have an immortal follower that speaks for him.

He has never appointed a special follower like Kristin with Phil or XD with Dream, and I’ve decided that has a similar reason to it as why he’s physically present in the world full time. Its because he doesn’t need some mediary spokespersons, he is close enough with humanoid species that they can work with him far more directly then other gods. I also have a mini headcanon that his name, Foolish, comes from how much of a handful humanoids have come to be for the gods. So he’s a fool for creating such troublesome creatures, but he’s grown so fond of his creations he’s decided to embrace that title.

Now for the next headcanon I came up with in that train of thought. In my big overarching headcanon Herobrian used to be a god himself but was banished, part of the reason that happened was because he was teaching mortals to build withers. Which is such a destructive act it has long been solely for the divine to know. But as you all probably know we’ve seen withers over the course of the story of the smp. But when you think about it (and god help me if I’m wrong cuz then this idea falls apart) it’s only the powerful individual tied to deities that have spawned withers in the main story, Techno, Phil and Dream(?) I don’t really know what he was doing during doomsday but it works out either way. So yeah, kinda a dick move to start creating horrifying, destructive, and incredibly dangerous creatures that no one has even heard of before to prove a point but immortals gotta have fun somehow I suppose. Those three only known how to spawn withers because of their ties to the divine.

Finally and very simply, since Herobrian was the god of peace and he is no longer overseeing his divine domain the world has fallen into an age of war. Obviously every conflict has its reasons and wars aren’t happening for no reason, but that’s why no one on this damn smp has any chill whatsoever.

#dsmp pantheon headcanons #mcyt #dream smp #dsmp #foolish gamers #c!foolish #mumza goddess of death #philza #technoblade #headcanons #dsmp headcanons #dsmp foolish headcanons #my headcanons #long post

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thisisatesttai · 2 years

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How Bleach (2022) can Shake Things Up

So I wrote my “Ichihime is canon” version of what I think the final season of Bleach needs to do to fix the manga’s rushed finale. It basically tied up the loose ends of the Orihime/Ichigo/Rukia love triangle in a way that jutsified the epilogue. However, there’s one crucial bit of information that I left out that changes everything.

This is the perfect time to kill Renji.

If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times more, Renji should have died in the Soul Society arc. That being said, in the outline I gave for the final battle with Yhwach, we need a reason for Rukia to replace Renji in the final battle against Yhwach. We also need to establish some stakes for this battle, because as many people have pointed out, Yhwach is kind of a lackluster final boss for the series. This could be solved by having him kill off a beloved character--like Renji. We even get a moment where Renji thanks Ichigo for giving him a chance to make a move on Rukia, which can now be a tragic “what could have been” scenario. How does Yhwach do it? I dunno, Renji’s just bad at fighting XD Maybe Yhwach has some kind of instant-kill technique, or we get an episode or two of a fight between Ichigo, Renji, and Yhwach, but at a low point, Ichigo sees Renji go down. Rukia, from where she is, would feel Renji die and can dash over and join him, but now we've raised the stakes, as we've seen that Yhwach has the power to kill either of our two heroes.

And so, they defeat Yhwach. All is well, but now the epilogue has to change. Most obviously, Rukia cannot go on to have a family with Renji, though I think she would still return to the Soul Society and become Captain of the 13th Guard. This could be the only change that ripples out from Renji’s death, but for the sake of argument, let’s address the rest of the epilogue.

What would Ichigo’s happy ending be? Personally, I never bought that Ichigo would want to grow up to run his father’s clinic and raise a family. These are not thing that Ichigo has ever shown any interest in. What we know he enjoys is fighting to protect people. Which he could do by joining the Soul Society. Maybe after this final battle at Rukia’s side, Ichigo will decide that his life in the world of the living has ended, and he’ll go with Rukia to the Soul Society, which has always been an option quietly but pointedly ignored by the series, to the point where you’re aware it’s there but no one’s willing to talk about it. Now, this doesn’t have to be a romantic thing, in fact I would expect that Ichigo and Rukia would be played as fully platonically living together in the Seireitei as professional partners--but don’t expect that to stop the shippers ; )

But then what about poor Orihime? Well, I have an answer for this too. You see, she still gets her speech from Rukia about how she needs to just be herself rather than trying to become what she thinks Ichigo wants, but when Renji dies, Rukia needs to leave. This is where Uryu comes in; we already know he’s in the area, given how the manga ended, but if Rukia is going to join Ichigo, Uryu makes sense as who Rukia could leave the injured Orihime behind with. And we’ve always known Uryu had a crush on Orihime...

That should be self-explanatory, but I decided I’m not gonna leave that point hanging, actually. The reason Ishida works as a romantic interest for Orihime and Ichigo doesn’t is because Ishida has always appreciated Orihime for who she is, and in many ways he fits Orihime’s image of Ichigo better than Ichigo does. If, at this moment, Orihime and Uryu had a minute alone together, I can see Orihime making some realizations and tying up both characters’ respective romantic arcs.

Also also, I think we lose the weird ominous way that Yhwach is defeated this way? I’ve never understood why Bleach chose to end on a non-ending where Yhwach is explicitly said to be coming back someday, but if the ending is changed for the anime, it all makes sense. Now the heroes can defeat Yhwach definitively, and the manga shows us how things could have gone worse if they’d made some different choices leading up to it. It kind of implies that Ichigo and Rukia’s bond is just that potent, too, which I like (because it ties into the themes of Bleach--not [just] for shipping reasons!)

And so that’s my definitely-not-gonna-happen-even-if-it’s-better-than-what-we-get pitch for Bleach’s ending. Renji dies, as he was always intended to, Ichigo ascends to the Soul Society so he can spend the rest of his existence with his totally-platonic-friend Rukia, and Uryu and Orihime find in each other the acceptance they need to settle down and start a family, and everyone, (except Renji) lives happily ever after.

Also Chad doesn’t get into boxing, wtf that’s the literal opposite of what he’s always been about XD

#bleach #thousand year blood war #tybw #bleach tybw #ichiruki #ichihime #abarai renji #kuchiki rukia #kurosaki ichigo #inoue orihime #ishida uryu #uryu ishida #orihime inoue #ichigo kurosaki #rukia kuchiki #renji abarai #ending #fanfiction #fanon

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anerol152 · 1 year

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Hello! This is anon #2, back with another essay, LOL. I figured I’d try to submit a post instead because tumblr asks have a character limit and it’s such a pain trying to avoid blowing up your notifications. xD

only got a few friends to talk about it that I won’t spoil or bore after half an hour and is nice to have a way to discuss it.

Same here! I don’t know anyone else who’s just as invested so I’ve been doing my best to pretend like I’m having a normal amount of thoughts about this which, HA. HAHAHA. I really wish there was a Discord server, but I get the feeling it’d just get lumped in with all the other RE things and my brain is just like NO, ETHAN AND ROSE. xD

Also you two are really good at making Rose’s childhood even more tragic and I both thank you for that and am in a ;_; mood of my own

Misery loves company. I need someone to suffer with me because I’ve just been completely plagued with thoughts of what kind of life Rose has had and how heartbroken Ethan would be to learn about it.

Though, if I have any gripe with SoR it’s that I wish they spent a little more time with ‘Michael’ and Rose before the big reveal. Just have some scenes where they’re just trading stories about who they are! Give Rose a chance to piece together who Michael really is and Ethan to learn who his daughter is now. (On the other hand, I do love how Rose has known Ethan for all of a few hours and she’s still ready to to completely put down a smackdown when something happens to him. Ethan being like that for Rose is a given, but it was amazing to see Rose turn around and do the same. She threw away a normal life to protect him and didn’t even regret it! MY HEART.)

[…] Which is why I’m afraid she kept her mindset of 'scientist first, mother/wife second’ after Rose was born. Plus the trauma. Even if she was stone cold cruel like some fans believe (think they might be mixing her up with Miranda tho -_-“) she would have had some trauma from it still.

Yeah, sadly, I’m feeling this as well. RE8 never made her seem like a bad parent, but they definitely planted the seed for being a secretive, distant one. Especially considering Mia is still keeping secrets and who knows if she ever told Ethan about her involvement with The Connection.

SoR just kept hitting me over the head with that too. It’s possible it’s just because SoR was about Ethan-Rose, but I kept noticing that Mia was completely absent from all of the memories he shows Rose. It makes me think that Ethan was the one usually the one doing the childcare and the memories were of Ethan maybe telling Mia about their day.

On top of that, the Mia mannequin was in an area where Eveline was preying on Rose’s fears so wtf happened to cause Rose to have anxiety about her mother catching her? W H A T.

Also Rose was… way too trusting of what 'K’ wanted her to do. Going about it in secret like that? Was just odd from the start.

Oh yeah, I think it was a combo of Miranda preying on Rose’s desperation and also using someone Rose would trust completely to lure her in. I also side eye Chris here because it wasn’t him either so jfc, everyone Rose was left with failed her.

Yes Ethan justice!

He really is just a guy. A random dude. A dad. But he is a good dad. Man him cradling baby Rose at the end of RE8 plus saving her in the DLC made me cry so much (first part more but man would it have been very emotionally effective if both came out at the same time)

Oh my fucking god, yes. I was exposed to things a bit backwards because I saw SoR before I watched the ending of RE8. Even knowing what would happen, it completely broke me. Ethan’s voice throughout the entire thing as he struggled to keep going just a little longer and the "Goodbye, Rosemary” just akgjhajf. ;__;

They did such a fantastic job with him - Ethan is my absolute favorite now Rose in second and it absolutely cracks me up that all it took to wreck everyone’s shit was one very upset father-daughter duo (and how it kept going even beyond the grave.) Miranda really messed with the wrong people. I seriously wish RE7 could have given him the same depth and didn’t just have him as a placeholder for the player.

Knowing what I know about his personality now, I can fill in the gaps on how he would have reacted to things like, idk, killing his wife repeatedly, but his character really could have used some love back then. :( I don’t think people would have thought he was boring if he had been given the same treatment.

But yeah, the DLC really does hit you in the feels with the what ifs of Ethan taking care of Rose. Saw a… comic? Animatic? Not sure which; of Ethan taking care of Rose through her life, being there for her. Man. Really gets you feeling ;_;

;_; It does. Both of them deserve to have a family with unconditional love and support. Though, I absolutely adore how self-confident Rose is by the end of the DLC knowing that her dad is proud of her no matter what.

There’s a little easter egg at the very end of RE8/SoR with Ethan’s character model and I’m really hoping it’s a hint he’ll be back (maybe as just a side character to cheer on his daughter or give her ammunition). Like, ffs, Capcom. They’ve both been through enough, let Ethan stay with his daughter! Though… if this happens, it will still make me sad knowing he missed 16 years of her life. You know that’s going to hurt for him.

#RE 8 #re 8 village #ethan winters #rosemary winters #tumblr submission #never posted one of those before #will reply after #I guess??#Loved this tho

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gold-eye · 2 years

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another gold-eye analysis: wither roses

finals have ended, and hence my analysis resumes. obligatory prefaces: spoilers for Dream SMP lore, and I’m referring Only to characters.

okay, I've been thinking about this for about a year now. let’s talk about wither roses. of course, there’s its obvious ties to the wither, which in turn links it to so much other violence - certainly, we’re all aware of the role withers have played throughout the lore. but i want to look specifically at the wither rose.

Roses, in general, are linked to love - be it the scarlet rose for passionate love, a white rose for innocent love, or a blush pink rose for blossoming love. When we turn to a black rose, things get a bit more complex. Depending on the period when the flower appears, it represents birth and renewal or death and tragedy. The simplest combination of those two is change, be it positive or negative. Referring back to the rose’s origin of love, it could be turned into “a love of that which changes” or “a love for change itself.”

Within the scope of Minecraft mechanics, the wither rose gives the withering effect. It drains one’s life, making it difficult (if not impossible) to know how much health you have left. In the simplest of terms, it is a corruption of the life that players have come to know.

Knowing that there is also a regular rose, one can’t help but wonder what must have happened to create the wither rose. Perhaps it was once a rose as we would recognize it, but something must have changed. The wither rose is a twisting of life until it is almost unrecognizable, save by name.

What catches my eye is Kate Greenaway’s Language of Flowers, wherein she refers to white withered roses as “transient impressions.” Greenaway doesn’t mention black roses at all - the above definitions are pulled from other references - so we are left to make our own conjectures. personally, i take interest in the black withered roses being the inverse. the white withered rose indicating a lack of permanence would imply that the black withered rose indicates a damning permanence. factoring in the black rose’s symbolism of death, it becomes an extended death that never leaves you. as the name implies, it could simply be death with reference to losing all canon lives - or it could be a state of limbo. not quite dead, not quite alive. continually in the process of dying.

Now, you may be asking - where do wither roses tie into the lore?

We don’t see wither roses often on the DSMP, and when we do, they seem to be intentionally placed. Here are some brief initial thoughts, from which I invite you to make your own hypotheses.

Dream XD’s lore video: In the background of the room where Punz and Dream stand, we see a handful of wither roses. From my perspective, this hardly needs more explanation: Dream keeps Lazar and Vikkstarr in a perpetual state of undying - reviving them over and over. I’ve already talked a bit about this - you can see my post about the deaths in Dream XD’s lore video for more.

One more thing of note on this: there’s a distinct camera shift in the video from Dream and Punz to focus on a wither skull in the background. It takes three wither skulls to spawn the beast: Dream and Punz make two, with the third in the background. Driving the wither symbolism home, aren’t we?

The Banquet: Wither roses appeared on the table of the Red Banquet, just a few blocks away from the Egg itself. The Egg is another marked instance of a corruption of power. Hell, the Egg is known for making its way into people’s minds and corrupting them. In my mind, the presence of wither roses marks the Egg’s corruption as something greater. From the Red Banquet stream, we know that the Egg requires energy from deaths to hatch. Perhaps some of that energy is taken from BadBoyHalo and Antfrost, as well as other members of the Eggpire, but the Egg still needs them to further its own goals. So it leaves them in a state in between - their life being drained away, but their death is unreachable until they are no longer of use to the Egg.

Later on, Tubbo and Ranboo return to the banquet room. Tubbo takes a wither rose from the table. I haven’t had the chance to watch the VOD to know exactly where it goes, but it does suggest the potential for a darker path in Tubbo. Personally, I think Tubbo deserves the chance to move past any previous inhibitions and fucking assassinate someone - Sam would be my choice, given his recent actions. (Edit: I mean, he did a little bit. But still. Let Tubbo go batshit. He deserves it.)

Tales from the SMP - The Maze: Everyone received a wither rose at the start, and they played a prominent role throughout the stream. When they’re sent back to the beginning, and the gamemaster reveals what happened, the meaning of the wither roses becomes clear. Life in the maze is a rose - it has an ending, even if it has thorns. When the gamemaster sends them back to the end, it transforms and reveals itself as a wither rose. It’s not a life, nor is it a death, and the harm is real and painful.

The Inbetween: (Written before The Maze.) This one ties in almost directly to the idea of the wither rose being an extension of death or something in between. The Inbetween is exactly that - it’s not quite death, nor is it life. When we finally see Karl make it to the Other Side, he is greeted by a white tulip, which often symbolize forgiveness. It’s almost sweet, in its juxtaposition: the Other Side greets him immediately with forgiveness after the In Between spent so long threatening Karl and the people he cared about if he strayed even slightly.

The Syndicate: This one will depend on how you feel about the Syndicate. Some will say that the syndicate is corrupt - they’ve taken power on their own terms. Personally, I prefer to think of it this way: by the very nature of the Dream SMP, their work will never be done. Destruction will follow in their wake for as long as the server exists, because the very evils that they seek to destroy are what make the server what it is.

Hannahxxrose: Hannah has always been connected to nature. Hannah’s house used to be surrounded by roses. Over the course of many lore streams, we see wither roses begin to appear amidst them, harvested during a time of peace. This is strange, in many ways - why would she intentionally surround herself with roses that give her a weakening effect? The answer lies in her potential. Perhaps she is beginning a route down a darker path. Perhaps she is still suffering at the hands of someone else who has twisted power for their own means. Or perhaps she has grown tired of her passive growth and has decided to wield her roses - red and withered alike - for her own means.

The commonality between all of these instances: power. These are instances where people have taken power into their own hands. One could argue that this is a corruption of the game itself - Minecraft is designed to allow the player freedom in what they choose to do, from speedrunning to storytelling. When certain players take such power into their own hands, it changes the way that the game is played, and over time, it can change the player as well.

Only time will tell where the next wither rose will put down its roots.

#dream smp #dream smp lore #tales from the smp #dsmp lore #lore #c!karl #c!hannah #c!techno #c!dream #c!badboyhalo #3am analyses

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red-akara · 2 years

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youtube

Song Share #38: If (P.S.S Symphony in C minor) - Clibbus

I…don’t know if I have the words to describe this chaotic cesspool of absurdity. But a weird part of me loves it though xD

Clibbus is both the real band name and the enigmatic persona of Joywave’s band technician. He has been known to occasionally do pre shows before Joywave gets on stage to play. Which normally consist of music that makes no sonic sense, passionate surreal ramblings about nothing, throwing random things into the crowd, and many other wild antics.

I have never seen him appear before a Joywave show, but he’s shown up a few times during Welcome to Hellvetica. I’ve seen some of the clips and wow…I kinda need this experience at least once in my life.

Anyway, enjoy his most recent single. ;)

#song shares #if (pss symphony in c minor)#clibbus #joywave #can you even quantify this into a genre?#experimental i guess lol #it’s a trip #for sure #;)#Youtube

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theinvisibledoodlewizard · 2 years

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Not all anxieties need be social. It is certainly not helpful for others to always assume it is, especially experts intent upon helping. Your anxiety is not any less worth dealing with how possible than social anxiety is.

Iiiits a little worse than social anxiety around me, though that is a piece.

I had two family members with OCD. Well…. Grandma wasn’t diagnosed… but when we started talking about it she did the “that’s what everyone does” thing my dad did when they said I had something akin to adhd. She died in August, so down to only one.

But OCD, in my family anyway, tends to present itself with massive worry constantly. Nightmares, needing things to be in control, jumpy, the works. And of course the stuff OCD is known for, although my grandma didn’t have that side as bad as the other person in my family. That person gets stuck for hours sometimes… and I can’t help much.

It also doesn’t help I have the practical opposite of OCD. I’m just gonna call it adhd, cause I have enough of the symptoms that it’s a good enough model, but in reality it’s only something similar to that and I forgot the name. I mean… I was 6 when they told me it XD

But yeah, I got the “we’ll just get over it” treatment, cause that’s what dad got. No one in his family had it, so they had no clue. And it works! Never been on meds or therapy for it! Either of us! Sure it’s hard, but you just have to be stronger. Get get over it, and move on with your life.

But….. that doesn’t work for OCD. You get stuck that way. We tried…… so now it’s all hands on deck to try and help… along with everyone’s problems they already had.

Now… I’ve been careful not to say who the second person is… but you’ll probably guess it after this. Being the older child SUCKS! I’m the only eldest in my family! Both my parents were younger of two, and obviously with me being the eldest in my family, my sibling wouldn’t get it. There is just a piece of “the baby gets everything” going on…. But also some other things I won’t get into here.

But yeah…… it’s not really social anxiety happening here. Honestly that’s the lesser evil of it all, it is present but we have far greater problems.

I try not to get mad…. Cause I know that the OCD is just a harder problem in general. But at some point… it’s still a “you have to get over it” scenario. No one else can for you…..

But with all this going on…. I’m kinda left to the side. The phrase “So I’m chopped liver” comes to mind. Heh. It stings….. but you get over that. That’s what I’ve always been told anyway. Heh.

#asks #augh #bleh #sorry for getting ranty on ya #😅😅😅#didn’t mean to #I’m just used to being told to get over it #I actually tend to jump into scary situations as practice to calm down if I feel myself spiraling #but that scares everyone else so I can’t…..#*sigh*

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babovens · 4 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

EEEEEEE thanks for the tag @toastytoaster22!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Five! All one-shots (because multi chapter scares me)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

23,559 (wooo!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Mob Psycho 100 (at least that’s what I post).

I’ve got WIPs for Mother 3, Persona 5, Breaking Bad, The Avengers, Pokemon, Danny Phantom, and Super Mario Galaxy.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Let Go (which I wrote in a day lol)

Philophobia (the fic that was free therapy)

Yoroshiku Matsuoka San (the first I posted!)

Off Button (another wrote it a day)

It Should Have Been Me (my one Mother 3 fic because that fandom is tinyyyyyyyyy haha)

5. Do you respond to comments?

YES! Or I try to anyways haha. I’m so thankful when people not only read my story and kudos it, but then take the time to WRITE A COMMENT?!?

Y’all are doing God’s work out there.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

“It Should Have Been Me” for sure, though none of my fics have straight up “bad” endings. There’s at least a little hope in each one. But with Mother 3 having the whole “Tanetane Island” business, it’s a rough night for all the kiddos after that 🫠

“Philophobia” and “Let Go” are close seconds with hopeful endings.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

“Yoroshiku Matsuoka-san”, the fic based off of the one and only “Issho” by Toasty! It’s still the longest fic I’ve ever written, sitting at almost 12k, and it’s still my fave I’ve posted. It’s all kinds of fluff (with only one angst scene) and ends with Reigen tucking Teru into bed and then giving him the safest, warmest hug 🥺

8. Do you get hate on fics?

LOL I’m not known enough in the fandom to get hate, and I hope I never am 🤣

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, but I keep those fics to myself. Even then, I wouldn’t consider them “smut,” and more like “graphic sex is present in this story, but it’s less about the sex and more about the emotions the characters are feeling.”

Most of them are safe ways for me to explore any type of sexual feelings I have while also sorting out what exactly it is I’m feeling. Because of this, most of them center around asexuality and kinks I’m curious about.

10. Do you write crossovers?

YEEEEES! Yes yes yes! I haven’t posted any, but I have WIPs of:

Super Mario Galaxy x Mother 3 (because Lucas needs a mom and that mom is Rosalina)

Earthbound x Mob Psycho 100 (Psychic kiddo meets psychic kiddo)

Danny Phantom x The Avengers (because I think science obsessed Danny and Bruce Banner would get along preeetty well.)

Breaking Bad x Mov Psycho 100 x The Avenegers (I’m not gonna explain this one. It’s for one of my best friend’s eyes only XD)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of (please don’t 😢)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of (please do 🤩)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nah, not a fanfiction. Ngl, that sounds like a nightmare.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh Terumob no question XD

Well, I say that, but I have The Big Three which I like all for different reasons.

Ash x Misty (Pokeshipping) for being my very first ship, and it will always have a special place in my heart. (The fluff ship, if you will.)

Bruce Banner x Natasha Romanov (Brutasha) because there is SOOOOOO much potential with these two that the MCU just threw in the garbage and I’m MAD ABOUT IT! I’m writing and drawing what I WANT TO SEEEEEEE!!! (Aka, the angst ship)

And then Terumob, which has been the source of some of the best, most heartbreaking fics I’ve ever read. Get these kids some love. (The perfect blend between angst and fluff).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmmmm not doubt I will, but it’ll take me years XD

It’s “Adrift,” which is my love letter to my favorite fairy tales, musicals, romance tropes, and just life itself.

I can’t see myself finishing it until I’m older though. Simply because the ending is supposed to represent how everything in life will work out in the end, and that there is a plan for each and every everyone of us in life…

… but I don’t know how that ends. I don’t know how my own life story ends, so how am I supposed to know how this one does?

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’m not sure if it’s my strength, but I love writing dialogue!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ahdkfhsldjf The process of actually writing and not just daydreaming 🤣

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Well, since most of my fave shows are from Japan, that would be wild to write all the dialogue in Japanese haha. I’m similar to what Toasty said, where if there isn’t a translation for the word in English, I use the Japanese word with Romaji. I also try to use Japanese Honorifics to the best of my ability.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Super Mario Galaxy! I wrote it for a project in 5th grade lol.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmmm… finished fic would be “Yoroshiku Matsuoka-san” because I love that it made so many people smile!

But my favorite WIP is both the BB X MP100 x Marvel crossover and “Adrift”. Both fics fit into the category of “I’m writing what I’ve always wanted to read.”

#babs babbles #reblog game #I love writing and miss it so much 😞#my brain is just mush

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