#I’ve stopped giving a shit about the fandom and just enjoying myself

[darlingdarkly]

Fates Worse Than Death

A Deimos x f!reader Series

Chapter 1

Word count: 5k

Part: 2

OG A/N: Hey, hi! So, tomorrow is my birthday. And for my birthday I decided to write a hugely self indulgent smutty fic for myself and instead of writing one for cod like I’ve been doing and contributing to an already super saturated fandom I have decided to write it for my r6s fandom, which admittedly keeps looking deader and deader, but I know that if I’m scouring the tags for fics then maybe someone else is too and so I’m gonna share my gift to myself in hopes that someone else who’s desperate for content will find it and be glad it’s there.

Second A/N: Hey! So I decided to make this a series actually. This will stand as chapter 1 💕

Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Listen to me 👁️👁️ I need you to heed the tags. I am going to tag the hell out of this thing and if you don’t read the tags then you’re throwing yourself into a mixed bag of whatever the hell and that’s on you. The tags are there for your benefit. Not mine. You have been warned.

CW: non con elements, dub con elements, interrogation, belt spanking, bondage, unprotected climactic p in v intercourse, oral (f!receiving), abduction, hair pulling, fingering, death, blood, mild game spoilers 🤷‍♀️

This is the point of no return, you click this button and you consent to the content on the other side.

This takes place after Deimos has killed Harry but before Rainbow has captured him, if you give a shit about canon events and timeline. Enjoy 💕

The chilly night wind whipped through the leaves, rattling them noisily and aiding in concealing your stealthy movements. You and three other operatives cut through the wooded terrain like silent wraiths as you sought out the hidden compound due north, said to be home to his lair. The mission was simple, get in, extract Deimos and exfil.

You moved quickly and quietly bringing up the rear of the squad. Rifle locked and loaded, the muzzle pointed out ahead of you, strafing for contact. You heard your squad leader over the comms, gruff and clear as he spoke to your contact back on base.

“Rainbow, this is O1, we are two clicks due south of the compound. ETA 15 for contact, are we a go?”

After a moment of measured silence he got a response. “Rainbow to O1, you’re green lit. Standby for evac.”

O1 came back moments later. “Copy that. Over.” There was an audible cut through the radio before O1 addressed your squad. “Alright, squad. You heard the man. On your toes.” Each of you responded in turn. “O2 copy.” A pause. “O3 copy.” You depressed the button on your headset and responded. “O4 copy.”

Soon after, the four of you crested a hill and fanned out over the top of it, laying eyes upon the brilliant glow cutting through the velvet of night like a knife. O1 came through your ear piece and gave curt instruction. “O2, follow me to the east. O3 and O4 you take west. Stick close to the perimeter, plant the charge and fall back. We detonate on my count and breach simultaneously. Do you understand?”

The three of you responded in unison. “Sir, yes sir.” You saw him motion forward and your group began to move, splitting into your assigned pairs and descending upon the compound. You lost sight of your squad mates in the thick of the trees but kept close to O3 as you neared the far west walls of the hidden base. Just as you made the bottom of the hill there was a panicked cry over the comms from O2. “What the fuck is that? O1 we have a disturbance.” There’s a break in his speech, a long drawn out eerie quiet that unnerves you.

“Sir, we’re not alone! I repeat, not alone.” There was a faint scuffle in the distance and a single gunshot before O1 came over the comms, frantic. “O1 to Rainbow, we’re made! Requesting evac. It’s him.”

You and O3 stopped and turned towards the commotion, unsure of how to proceed. There was a heart stopping, pained scream in the distance and you heard Rainbow call to the pair of you over the comms. “O3, O4, this is Rainbow. Get out of there, you’re compromised. Get to evac. I repeat, Get to evac!”

The pair of you took off in the woods, abandoning mission and headed west towards the evac point. You could feel your heartbeat in your chest and had to focus to calm your breathing. At this point it was about survival as you followed close behind O3 and cut through the woodlands for the helo just eight clicks west.

There’s a flutter in the air, a woosh of displaced air as something whizzes by and you hear O3 ahead of you begin to panic. “Christ it’s him! Run for it, now!” O3 bolts forward and you’re sprinting to catch up but soon he’s lost in the copse of pines and all you have left of him is his panicked yells and heavy breathing over the radio. “O3, where are you? O3!?!” You hear the deafening discharge of a heavy caliber ring out in the still night and it’s too close for comfort.

You veer away from it and towards the evac. Splitting off on your own as the blood of your last remaining squad member drains from the brand new vent hole in his head and begins to quickly cool in the night air. You can hardly hear yourself crash through the woods, boots scaling over rocks and fallen logs as your breath quickens and terror begins to set in.

You miss the whirring of the foreign object the second time around but there’s no mistaking the calm, collected voice in your ear as he hacks through your comms and makes himself known. “There you are. There’s no hiding. Not for you. Not for me.”

Rainbow comes in low and static-y though the comms and you struggle to make him out clearly. “O4 do you… in O4… Get out! I rep-… Deimos is tra-…. On your posit-….” And then everything cuts. Your comms go dark and you’re officially alone, the last of a nearly dead and shattered squad in the dead of night in the thick of the sticks.

Determined not to die in the midst of these pines you beeline for the green blip on your gps. If you could just make it to the helo you’d survive but as you took a final glance at your position a second blip pinged. A dark red skull just twenty meters back. His deathMARK. You felt a lump in your throat as you realized you’d been made and triple timed it, arms pumping at your sides as you tore through the woods in fear. Pure terror coursed through your veins and nipped at your heels, promising death if caught. There was no capture, Deimos wasn’t known for taking prisoners.

You mounted a hill and pushed out between two huge oaks as you practically slid down the other side. You made huge strides, legs driving you towards salvation as you pushed them to the limit in hopes of escape. You were only four clicks out when you tripped, stumbling over something hard and unseen as you crashed ungracefully to the ground and tumbled in the leaf litter. You scrambled to regain your footing, clawing at the earth and struggling to your feet.

You had just made it up when he hit you like a freight train, violently tackling you and knocking you on your back. The pair of you rolled in the foliage, tumbling over one another in the night and sprawling apart as you came to a jolting stop.

This was it, it was fight or die so you grabbed for the push daggers secured to the straps of your tac vest and faced your adversary. He came up ready to fight, charging forward and lunging for you. You drove forward with a fist, spearheaded leathily by the edge of the knife and swung out to bite at his throat. He pulled back and you sliced through air instead, he followed through with an arm on your elbow and brought your arm down over one thick thigh, breaking your hold and successfully disarming you.

With one knife left you pushed back at his chest and swung forward to attack, hoping to aggressively close the distance and quickly end him but he grabbed your arm with his strong gloved hands and twisted it around until your back was socketed into his chest. He pulled on your limb and brought it down hard over his knee, breaking your hold for a second time and disarming you completely.

You struggled out of his grip and tried to make a break for it, a last ditch effort to stay alive and bolt but he caught a grip on your ankle and you once more went sprawling to the ground, ass over teapot. When you turned around to face death you caught sight of his ballistic mask towering over you, he held the magnum in a tight grip in his right hand and you knew it was over. At least you’d die with your squad, knowing you’d done your best and been outplayed.

But instead of staring down the unblinking black eye that was the bore of his barrel you felt the butt of the .44 Vendetta crash down on your temple before the night stole over you and blocked out all thought.

It wasn’t til much later that you awoke, sluggish, confused and in tremendous pain. The room was bright but cold and when you tried to alleviate the pain in your head by bringing your hand up to soothe it you realized you were bound and secured to some kind of padded platform. Your arms were stretched out and down in front of you, bound together by something strong and without give. Your legs were similarly bound but tucked up beneath you on the padded bench. It was then you realized you were also naked from the waist down. Your chest was covered but had been stripped of your tac gear and uniform and replaced with a stark white tee, your bra was also missing.

You weren’t blindfolded or gagged but when you tried to whip your head around you found it hard to maneuver, only about five degrees of field of view to see on either side and all you could see of that was dingy white tile from floor to ceiling. You struggled in your bonds but stopped as you heard the slow, methodical blows of his boots on the concrete steadily drawing nearer. You stiffened and tried not to think about the view he no doubt was privy to from this angle. He broke the silence first.

“Well she’s finally awake. Don’t struggle, the knots won’t give, I tied them myself.” He sounds smug and confident as he strides up behind you, voice low and clear, not quite deep but thoroughly resolute, the draw of a southern twang peeking out subtly but sophisticated. The venom in you begins to well up in your throat, your teeth grit and body tensing as your anger builds and your hate gestates.

You let loose on him, anger burning a hole in your chest as you feel robbed of your rightful death, you shouldn’t be here still breathing, you should be dead in the woods with your squad, not tied up and captured like some kind of prized war spoil. “Fuck you! Kill me, you bastard!” He let himself come into view, circling around you with his arms clasped behind his back. He was still fully clad in his black tac gear and ballistic helmet, the dark, obsidian lenses of his eyes gleamed deviously in the fluorescent light.

“Can’t get information out of you if you’re dead, now can we?” You ground your teeth in your skull, body trembling in half fear, half seething rage. “You won’t get a damn word out of me, motherfucker! You’ll have to kill me, I won’t talk!”

His head tilted slightly as he tisked, chiding you calmly. “Such a nasty mouth.” He disappeared from view, the dark drape of his cape flowing out behind him, returning to his position behind you as you heard a rustle and the soft tink of metal on metal as he lifted something off of a table. “My godfather was a stern but loving man. He taught me at an early age about duty and responsibility. About discipline and respect. I loved and respected him dearly but as all boys are, I had a tendency to be rowdy and disrespectful at times. He taught me these values with a firm and unyielding hand. Something I think you could use a good helping of.”

You heard the crack of the belt as he brought the two looped ends taut in his hands and immediately stiffened, the hairs on the back of your neck standing straight up. “You’re going to tell me everything I want to know, including the details of your mission, the intel you received and who you received it from along with the coordinates of the Rainbow base.” He stopped and waited for your response, you sat still and silent, mentally preparing yourself for the coming onslaught.

“Nothing to share?” You shifted in place but spat out at him, tongue in cheek. “Fuck you.” Shortly after you felt the first lick of the belt as it cut through the air and cracked across your bare ass, making you jump and yelp. It may have been a far cry from conventional interrogation methods but it was still painful and humiliating. You heard the leather slide in his fist before you felt the second blow, just parallel to the first, aimed and executed with precision to land just beside it on the same cheek. “Fuck!”

He hummed contently. “Tell me what your mission objective was.” He languidly paced behind you as he waited for your answer, when none came he brought the belt down on the other cheek twice in rapid succession, giving you no time to recover. You tried shifting away from the blows but had about a half an inch of clearance for wiggle room, there was no evading it.

He kept it up, pausing and then attacking ruthlessly, periodically stopping before doling it out again, fat, opaque lines began to criss cross on the smooth surface, marking his progress. He questioned you again and you held silent, preferring to suffer through the consequences rather than give in and endanger an entire base of your colleagues for the quicker respite of death. He’d kill you in time either way, it was better to hold out and die honorably than relent for a swifter end.

“You’re resilient, tough little spit fire, I’ll give you that. But you should know your silence has consequences.”

You sneered at him where he couldn’t see. “I don’t give a fuck about me. Beat me, torture me, cut my toes off one by one, I don’t care. You’ll kill me when you figure out I’ve got nothing to say to you and I will die honorably.”

He laughs and it makes a sliver of uncertainty worm through you. “I’m not going to kill you, sweetheart.” The pet name makes you queasy but his response only confuses you. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“When our little talk ends, the door closes. If you don’t tell me what I wanna know by the time we’re through here your life as you know it ceases to exist.”

“I already told you to just go ahead and kill me. I’ll die before I tell you anything that would put Rainbow at risk.” Instead of punching you in the ribs or breaking a finger he just leaned in til you could feel the warmth of his chest settle over the top of your bare ass and it felt much more sinister than any strike or blow.

“Oh sweetheart, there are fates much worse than death.” You still don’t quite understand and he senses you struggling to grasp the full scope of the threat so he takes a break from the spanking and explains it to you in full detail.

You hear him set the belt down on something before you feel his gloved hands caressing your ass, running the covered fingertips over his handiwork and down the swell of your cheeks before dipping lower and skimming the slit of your sex. His fingers come away slick and he smirks behind the mask where you can’t see.

“If you don’t tell me what I want to hear then I’m going to take these-“ You hear a jingle from behind you and know they’re your dog tags, probably scalped from your neck as he undressed you no doubt. “-and I’m going to throw them out in the woods with your dead squad mates. They’ll think one of two things. Either you died out there like a good soldier and some animal, pack of coyotes perhaps, carted your body away or, I finally caught up with you, gave you an ultimatum, and you sold them out from under the rug. Either way they’ll come to the conclusion that you’re beyond saving and they’ll bury you in an empty casket and move on.”

You felt it all coming to a head and the audacity of it came to be too much. “You’re wrong! They’ll never stop looking for me! You think they’ll give up so easily! They won’t stop until they find me! Ohhhh and they will find me! You are so fucked! You are sooo-“

The crack of the belt against your ass cut off your angry rant, the words dying in a pained yelp as he brought the leather down on your ass in an angry torrent. SMACK. SMACK. SMACKSMACKSMACK.

You clenched against the pain, trying to curl up on yourself but of course it was no use, you could only sit and take it. When the onslaught ended he continued.

“You didn’t let me finish. Either way… no one is going to come looking for you. And I think I’m starting to like you so instead of killing you, like you’re dying to have me do-“ You feel the return of his fingers, the cool leather of his glove soothing against the heated stinging welts already swelling on your cheeks. Then they glided down and you felt his fingers spread your lips and when he spoke this time he sounded different somehow, louder and clearer.

“-I’m going to keep you all to myself. I’ll house you, clean you, feed you. During the day I’ll keep you tied up in here, my own sweet little stress relief, make the walls of this room echo with screams of a different caliber for a change.”

It wasn’t until you felt the flat of his tongue glide up the length of your sex that you realized why he sounded so much clearer, he’d taken his mask off and now he was casually eating your pussy, tongue dipping in between his fingers spreading you apart so gently, a stark contrast from the harsh belt treatment he’d been afflicting upon you moments before.

He hummed into your pussy and you squirmed against the heat of him, simultaneously freaking out yet undeniably turned on as his tongue probed you and his hands caressed the cheeks of your ass. He pulled away and you weren’t sure if it was a sigh of relief or a whine of protest that built a home in your throat, kept at bay only by the last mustering of your will.

“So sweet. When I was a boy growing up in Birmingham, I used to play in the sugar cane fields for hours. Me and my friends would cut away stalks from the edges of the field for a taste. You taste just like that, fresh cut sugar cane.” You shuddered in his hold and told yourself it was all psychological warfare, it changed nothing. When he had the information he seeked he would cut you down just like he did all the rest.

You felt him step away from behind you and come up to your side, his hands trailing like fire along the length of your body as he did so. He reached under the platform you were tied to and suddenly your arms pulled forward in front of you, forcing your chest to pull forward and press against the bench. Your ass raised up high and unshielded as you felt the collective wetness of his saliva and your slick coating your lips, chilly exposed like this, but it doesn’t take long before he’s resumed the position and you feel his hot breath fanning against it, rewarming his meal.

“We’re gonna have a lot fun, sugar cane.”

“So.” Lick. “Much.” Lick. “Fun.” Lick.

You couldn’t help the moan that escaped, at this new angle he had access to the fulty of you and his tongue dipped down and swiped at your clit on the last lick making you momentarily lose yourself in the white hot pleasure of it. “Fuck!”

“I intend to.” You don’t grasp until much later the meaning of that, lost to the way he eats you so slow and sensual. He chuckles behind you and you know now, without a shadow of a doubt, that he intends to keep true to his word because he’s stopped questioning you, stopped beating you, just content to sample his new toy. Your life is over, because you won’t give up Rainbow and you won’t tell him a goddamn thing and your stubborn honor has damned you in a way that was worse than death and now you’ll spend the rest of your days keeping his cock warm until you’ve gone insane from it.

Taking his time and savoring the taste of you on his tongue, you feel the first press of his padded fingers prodding your entrance. Gently pushing forward til he was in just up to the first knuckle, sawing them in and out slowly and twisting them in your heat as his tongue stayed latched to your clit, suckling it.

“Deimos!” He rewarded you with an open mouthed kiss to your clit as he pushed his gloved fingers further into your depths, exploring them as your back arched nice and pretty for him as far as your binds would allow.

He pulled his tongue away to your dismay but kept his fingers buried in you, stilling their movement but curling them inside you to press teasingly against your sweet spot. “Got some new insights for me, sugar cane?”

Your lips were sealed shut as far as that was concerned but your resolve was waning, you recognized the point of no return you were quickly approaching and despite the horrible implications of your future, there were just too many good men and women with their lives on the line for you to justify the alternative.

So you shifted shamelessly to push back on his fingers, eyes squeezing shut as you tried to focus on the pleasure and not the humiliating position you were quickly failing to resist against. He recognized the move as you made it and gave you what was to be his last warning.

“Let me put it in no uncertain terms for you. When I come right in here-“ He flexed his fingers inside you to demonstrate his point, eliciting a high whine from you. “-your time is up. You can sing all you want but past that point you’re no longer your own woman. You’re mine, do you understand?”

You didn’t even consider your freedom for the briefest of seconds, just nodded solemnly as you accepted his terms, though little they mattered. Although he’d seen your nod it mustn’t have been good enough as you felt the all too familiar crack of the leather, jolting you from your thoughts and bringing you back to the present. You clenched down on his fingers, eyes rolling in their sockets at the euphoric sensation.

“I need a verbal answer.” Your grit your teeth for not the first and certainly not the last time dealing with him. “Screw you!”

He laughed, it was easy and carefree. “All in good time, sweetheart. I’m gonna enjoy my meal first.” With that he seemed to be done speaking, leaving you to stew over a decision you’d already made and ruminate in the consequences of it. He dove eagerly back into the heat of your sex, plunging his fingers enthusiastically in and out of your pussy while his tongue lapped at the juices that seeped out around them.

He watched as your toes curled in on themselves, mouth dropping open where he couldn’t see and expelling breath in a silent moan. He proved to be skillful in a manner of ways and this seemed to be no exception to the rule, making light work of bringing your pleasure to a head and threatening to throw you over the edge quicker than you’d like to admit.

You fought for control of your body but it was a battle you were unavoidably losing as he pulled his fingers free and replaced them with his tongue, pushing it deep into you and occupying his hands by rubbing circles over your clit with his thumb. It was a devastating sensation that pulled your muscles taut, your head raised up off the padding and tipped back as far as your restraints would allow as you suddenly came violently.

He spurred it on, lapping at your sopping wet slit and never ceasing the movements of his thumb, making you shake and really test the strength of your ties. He drove you through your orgasm, not even slowing as you began to plead with him to stop, it was too much. When you thought you’d tumble head first into a second one he finally relented, leaving you gasping and panting as you vaguely heard him shucking his pants behind you.

You felt something hard and blunt at your entrance as he slid his cock up to you and rifled it up and down your slit, wetting the tip and enjoying the light springy jump that coursed through you every time his head hit your clit.

“Last chance, sweetheart. As much as I’d hate to lose your company, you’re running out of chances to secure your freedom.” You could hardly focus on his words, still caught between struggling to catch up from your first mind blowing orgasm and steeling yourself against the promise of a second one if the way your pussy was trying and failing to catch his tip and suck it in was any indicator.

He lined himself up and pushed forward, causing you both to moan out together as he stretched you open on his girth. “Fuck me, you are sweet.” He slid home, hips pushing flush with yours as you adjusted to the way he seemed to fill you out perfectly. Your head dipped as he began a steady, unrushed rhythm, slapping his hips to yours every time he drove it home.

You had stopped breathing since he’d entered you and suddenly took one huge sucking breath in, filling your lungs just to immediately expel it as a broken but pleasured moan. He growled behind you and you could feel it vibrate through you in a whole new sensation, overloading your senses, coursing white and blinding in its intensity.

“Please!” You had no idea what you were begging for but it just felt so right, losing your sense of self, reduced to nothing more than nerve endings. He reached forward and grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling back and taking out the slack as your back arched to accommodate his hold.

“Oh god!” You could hardly imagine how you must look, head cocked back and slack-jawed as he split you open from behind. Each thrust was precise and calculated, wringing you for every last drop of pleasure until your mind went blank and your whole being submitted to the fucking.

He leaned forward, breath hot and heavy right behind your ear as he spoke and he must’ve known you were a goner because instead of trying to extract information he just spoke of the future. All the ways he’d bend you to his will, how he’d break you and build you back better in his image.

“It’s truly a shame we met under these circumstances. Under a different light I’d have enjoyed training you, honing your skills instead of wasting all this potential such as it is. Under me you’d have made an unstoppable operator. Now you’ll never see combat again.”

For some reason this truth had only now dawned on you, some deep part of your brain had held out hope of escape or retaliation or vengeance but cock drunk beneath him you knew it was hopeless, he was absolutely right and you were ultimately fucked.

As if he’d been holding back he renewed his vigor and began to pound into you from behind with abandon. Your mouth was dry and your knees were screeching at you from below, despite the padding, but all you could focus on was the pool of pleasure building heavy in your gut. There was no turning back from this, your mind screamed for you to do something but any other thoughts were beyond you and so you expelled them with the rest and took your fate as it sealed, securing a chokehold around your throat and brought you to heel.

You came around his cock, the second world shattering orgasm of the evening and much more all encompassing in its magnitude. You were certain you felt your heart stop, lungs burning for air as you clenched down around him. Seconds later he followed, coming with a half moan, half growl as you squeezed him for all he was worth. White hot spend filled you from the inside out and it was as blissful as it was damning.

The game was up, you were his. You stayed like that, riding the bliss and eyeing up the defeat that swelled up to take its place as it faded. He pulled out of you slowly and you felt his seed drip from you, slide down your thighs and puddle on the bench below you. You hardly heard him as he cleaned himself up and redressed. There was a click as the door to the room opened for the first time you were aware to hear it and two men stepped into the room.

There was a moment of nothing before you felt two firm hands wrap themselves around your arms and loosen your binds. They held you up til the tips of your feet hardly grazed the cool concrete floor and stationed on either side of you, held you up for inspection. You lifted your head to see him standing before you, dog tags dangling from one fist and the belt folded over on itself held tight in the other.

“I can’t say I’m disappointed in you, soldier. You stood your ground and that commands immense bravery. But you knew the rules and now you’ll reap what you’ve sown. You mustered up enough strength to gather saliva in between your lips and spit at his face. It didn’t quite make it and landed at his feet but you could hear a smile in his voice as he commanded the men at your side to carry you up to his quarters. He’d be seeing you again very soon.

#dead dove do not eat #tw noncon #tw dubcon #dark fic #tw dark content #tw dark themes #r6s #r6s deimos #r6s Deimos smut #r6s Deimos x you #not cod

[longtallglasses]

it’s very interesting to me amongst the different fandoms i’ve been a part of in regards to their attitudes toward nsfw fanworks bc with the marauders those teens are always wildin’ - smoking, drinking, sleeping together - if they’re not i would even say it would be out of character for them? wolfstar is messy and horny and so in love, even if in a lot of fics they won’t admit it to each other. in atyd everyone is shagging up a storm, the girls, the boys, it’s still juvenile of course the way they discuss it and go about it. very little communication, feelings are hurt, they don’t know what they’re doing all the time. and it makes sense, they’re teenagers!

i have never once heard of discussion around it being ‘wrong’ to write them this way. that it’s ‘objectifying’ and if you’re thinking about it you must be weird or unnecessarily sexualizing characters. sexualizing characters? they’re already sexualized wdym? they have a sexuality, everyone has a sexuality, whatever the author/artist wants to give them, whether that’s a sex crazed maniac or the most sex repulsed asexual, they Have a Sexuality! even before the exact moment they turn 18, they have a sexuality. it’s just another facet to explore character through, to understand them more fully, and also sometimes for the author to help understand themselves.

i’m sorry age doesn’t matter when it comes to fictional characters. it just doesn’t. they’re not real you can’t hurt them. if someone wants to write through trauma, something ‘wrong’ and ‘problematic’ let them use fictional people. it may seem gross and you don’t have to read it, but its existence does not mean promotion of harmful behavior. it can mean so many different things to that author but it doesn’t equate to that.

i say this bc i myself have written some horrid things. i’ve never posted them, was not in a place where i wanted to, i wrote it all in a period of my life where i was seriously hurting, and writing fucked up horrific things stopped me from hurting Myself. i’ve read some ‘problematic’ fics that made me feel better, hurt me in a good way, reading comments of people who related and appreciated what was being explored.

most people who write about fucked up shit, SA, or some form of trauma porn or whatever it is have probably gone through something similar in their life. the people who read it and seek it out are usually drawn to it for a reason but we don’t need to know why. there is also just curiosity. and being curious doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t mean you ‘like’ it. you may like the power dynamics at play, you may be intrigued by desires different than your own, you may… ANYTHING what you enjoy to read or write speaks to nothing regarding who you are in your day to day life. your morals, your beliefs, or what you want sexually or otherwise. i say this to a younger me, there’s nothing wrong with you!

with all that being said… there is also porn that is just porn. and that’s perfectly fine and good too. people have always written porn about whatever and whoever they want and they always will. if you don’t want it, scroll pass. you won’t be given a gold star for announcing you think it’s gross or wrong, you just look silly. i’m not saying that you must like it too, but attacking the moral character of those who do partake, shows an immaturity and lack of tack when it comes to these subjects. go out in the world and you will discover just how ‘abnormal’ and ‘depraved’ sexual desire can manifest itself as.

as someone who grew up a Very sexually confused person. not knowing i was queer or on the ace spectrum exploring sexuality through fiction was like my saving grace. and those books and those fics that made me feel seen, made me go huh! woah! ooooh my god that’s me! or made me go … wait why do i kinda like that? more often than not they were written by adults. bc they had made it through to the other side so to speak. and as An Adult now i find the traditional adolescent experience very intriguing as i did not have that growing up. the sexual experiences i’ve had now have shown me so starkly that that feeling which accompanies a new experience never really goes away. people are fumbling well into their 20s and 30s. reading the plight of a young person discovering who they are sexually i don’t think will ever not be relatable or make someone reflect. that includes the sweet and innocent as well as the ‘gross’/depraved horniness. it is not necessarily enjoyed on a basis of attraction to these characters, it is enjoyed on a basis of ‘i know this feeling’ or ‘i also do and have yearned for this kind of intimacy’. and if who you are isn’t represented in those stories, oh well damn, looks like i have to write it now. that’s how we have Are you there God, it’s me Margaret and the edge of 17 (the ‘98 and ‘16 iterations), all these stories written by Adults! that make us all sigh in relief and laugh and cry and aaahhh

fiction is fiction, idek what anti-ship means, let people be freaks in peace, fandom spaces are created to have fun in, let’s pls have Fun!!! explore and write and draw and fantasize whatever your heart desires bc there can be no right or wrong, it is just discovery.

if you feel kinship with characters and it feels natural to extend yourself to them, to take them and make them your own, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful. play dress up with them in all the ways you can, do whatever You Want!!

#i really surprised myself w how much i wanted to say here but #i started writing and just couldn’t stop #byler #marauders #spicy byler #fandom #fandom discourse #fandom discussion #fanfiction #byler fanfic #marauders fanfiction #stranger things #speaking my truth #bc i can’t believe what i see sometimes #gritting my teeth as i post this #i just feel like this message needs to be reiterated #i know there are a lot of young people in this fandom and i find this censored attitude so harmful #longtallglasses

[querenciasturniolo]

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!

2023 was one hell of a year for me, even before i created this blog.

i’ve struggled with a severe anxiety disorder my entire life, and writing has always been such an incredible escape for me. being able to get out of my own head and put every emotion, whether it was beautiful, painful, or embarrassing into a story, felt like such a release.

i’ve written for years, and the fact that this little blog of mine is the place i put my most vulnerable thoughts into is so crazy. my mental health has improved so much in the last five months, and fuck i can’t wait to see what 2024 brings.

i posted my first fic change in july after spending over a week working on it, a few weeks after going through the worst heartache i’ve ever felt in my life. it is still, to this day, my favorite fic that i’ve ever written. it was so incredibly personal to me, and so fucking important to me, and the fact that so many of you read it and enjoyed it warms my heart so much.

since then, i’ve written thirty-six one-shots (holy shit) that so many people have read (which is outrageous that you all read and enjoyed my delusions LMAOOO), and i’m SO EXCITED to write more.

my best friend in the entire world and truly one of my favorite people on the planet, @champangekisses , read so many of the fics that i’d doubted were worth posting, and promptly told me to shut the fuck up and post them, has truly been my biggest support. even with her goofy “requests” in my inbox, trying to throw me off (i always know it’s you, keep trying), she always knows exactly what to say to make me get out of my head and just fucking post something.

val, i love you so much, and thank you for always being there for me.

i’ve met people on this app that i absolutely adore and truly love so fucking much that it’s insane.

@floofparker , you were my first friend on this app, and i love you so fucking much. i’ll truly never stop saying how grateful i am to have met you. you’ve, on countless occasions, told me to post something that i didn’t know how i felt about, and every time, you had the right words to prove to me that it doesn’t matter what other people think about it, and that writing is art, regardless of how i feel the quality is. i love you.

a few weeks ago, i joined a little group chat on instagram, expecting to talk a few times in it and completely forget about it, because that had been the standard for every fandom groupchat i’d joined. what i wasn’t expecting, was to find a group of weirdos that never fail to crack me up, make me grin until my cheeks hurt, and make my heart ache with how much i love them.

ro @bernardenjoyer , mar @mbbsgf , kay @soursturniolo , and finny @ev3rgreenxtrees , i love you guys so fucking much, it’s insane. thank you for accepting me, and being one of my favorite parts of my day when i open my phone.

to the triplets (who will never see this, and if they discover tumblr and do, i still stand by my statement saying i will deactivate my account), thank you for making your content so understandable and relatable. i’ve never watched an influencer, or group of influencers, that i’ve truly felt like i’ve connected with, and for that, i’m incredibly thankful.

and to everyone that has read my fics in the last five months, thank you so much. you’ve all allowed me to express myself in a way that is absolutely mind blowing. i love each and every single one of you so much, thank you all so much for giving me a safe place to put my thoughts and soul into.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

happy fucking new year !!!!!!!!!

#el rambles #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #the sturniolos #the sturniolo triplets #happy new year #querenciasturniolo

[moschiola]

ADHD+feedback=agony

This is going to be a long and possibly boring text post about art and posting art online, with some self-reflection on top. I don’t usually do these and it’s been ages since I’ve actually written any kind of a longer text, but I really need to put these thoughts onto imaginary digital paper. I’d appreciate if you read it through and if you could give me any form of feedback on this! Your own experiences and etc. I do art because it’s a part of my ADHD-ridden personality, this desire to create always buzzing inside, it’s neither and both work and hobby for me, something I love and hate the most in life, because it tortures me as much as it fills me with joy. So if you ask me ‘hey, what’s your purpose for drawing? What’s your goal, your endgame?’ the answer is really ‘there’s none, it’s more of a curse, it’s just something that makes me alive so I can’t help but continue, cause if I stop it feels like I’d vanish or lose myself completely’. I can’t say I’ve done all other forms of media to express myself, but I’ve tried a lot of things (poetry, photography, music, cosplay, crafting and so on and so forth) and nothing comes close to drawing. And I’m not even sure if ‘expressing myself’ is a right way to put it because it’s not that my art is any kind of deep and meaningful, I just illustrate plots and characters I find appealing in some way or another, for the most part. Now, I don’t consider myself to be a professional, but I also have 20+ years of experience at this point so I might as well be, depending on how you look at it. All self-beating aside, I like to think that my art is at somewhat plausible level at the moment? I am proud of how far I’ve come despite everything and I can still see a lot of progress happening, and god knows I work my ass off to continue improving. The main thing I want to address here is how erratic and incomprehensible my online feedback has been recently and how it makes my brain perform loops of dissociation.  I wish I didn’t care for feedback at all, but sadly I do,  it’s what gives me the most dopamine. I’ve recently discovered it’s yet-another ADHD thing. Nothing else in life makes me as fulfilled as seeing other people enjoy my pictures, it’s just pure joy without any downsides to it. It’s really not about financial gain from art or fame and popularity, but just creating something new and then seeing people have a positive emotional response to it is what lights up my life and helps to get through all the shit it throws at me. And considering that my family is mostly completely disinterested in what I create (which has been hurting me more than I can describe since I was a little baby), and my paranoia makes it hard to accept compliments from friends and partners, online feedback has been the best medicine for me. I used to tell myself one day I will get good enough to have some following that would be excited about my art and give me constant feedback in return, because that’s what I always saw happen to other artists. I never aimed to be the most popular or to achieve certain numbers of likes, just being ‘good, on average’ was the ideal for me as long as I’ve had a constant crowd behind. I thought, a lot of musicians of the past don’t really make any more new hit songs, but they still can gather a crowd of long-term fans at a concert, right? Once you make it to some level of popularity you never really go into a complete oblivion, as long as you’re still working your craft and putting it out there? And there have been times in my life where I thought that the moment has finally happened and was now my reality, that my art was finally well enough to climb into ‘popular post’ tiers, and that I have gathered enough audience to have a stable interest in my publications, but it never lasted too long. I understand how social media work, how people change hobbies and fandoms, and how the world around us changes altogether, but recently the ride has been too wild for me to comprehend. Although I have a significant number of followers on all my main social media (tumblr, twitter, IG) (and a lot of those followers are fresh newcomers too), the feedback has just been... all over the place. I understand that I’m dipping into different fandoms here and there (then again, the vast majority of them are extremely popular on their own, so you’d think that should help the situation too?) and I’m experimenting with my art styles, but no matter how hard I try there’s just no consistency. I post something that I’m sure will do well and it does. I post something I’m sure will do well again and it completely flops. I post some scribes for fun and it goes super high. I post another funny thing and there’s no response. One post gets 10k likes, the next one gets 30 likes. Then the next one gets 5k. Then 15. I feel like I have no control over it at all, no understanding. It feels like playing a roulette. Just up to chance every time. It’s the same on all social platforms so I don’t think I could attribute it to algorithms only. How can I ever try to invest time and energy into bigger projects if I can’t even estimate if it has a chance of being any sort of likeable? Is my art just extremely non-consistent on its own and I just don’t notice? What’s going on??? I’m entirely grateful for big numbers but I’d really rather have them spread through most things I post? Of course some publications are going to be more popular than others, it’s perfectly fine, but while 300 likes on some posts and 600 likes on other is understandable, the gaps between 10k+ and less-than-30 are just too extreme? Especially when they happen one after the other? I swear I never see this with other people and it just makes my brain intolerable. For all those of you who have reached the bottom of this rant, thank you! If you have any thoughts to share or similar experiences, please do let me know! My main concern here is how to battle this feeling of am-I-going-insane-or-what, and not the numbers of likes. Finding any way out of this would be good because it has really interfered with my art process lately and I hateeee it!

#big text post

[nightcolorz]

i’m late but for the ask game: armand 6, 8, 25

YIPPIE!! Thank u sm for sending this, I’ve been pretty severely injured lately and I woke up feeling so shit and sad, so getting this notif absolutely made my day. Armand !!! He is my favorite character in anything ever. I have literally never been so insane about a guy before. U picked some great questions so I’m super excited about this.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

I identify strongly with Armand for a lot of weird little reasons. I think the root of it is transgender and autism stuff if I’m honest 😭 Im going to try not to get tooo personal 👍👍 but I will let’s be honest, I will get personal. I can relate to being fetishized and characterized for my sort of androgynous/pretty/boyish appearance while I feel like how I look doesn’t truly reflect who I am as a person. I definitely get the struggle of being demeaned and treated like a child bcus of the juvenile ish appearance transitioning can give you. I also can relate to being demeaned and treated like a child because of my social awkwardness (due to autism) that causes many ppl to assume I’m unintelligent or immature, need to be treated gently or talked to slowly, etc. I see these parts of myself reflected in Armand ofc in different more vampiric ways, and having a character who is infantilized and talked down to while also fetishized and sexually exploited for a perceived innocence that isn’t reflective of who he really is at all, a guy who is also very strange and awkward and doesn’t act right, who is also simultaneously very bad ass (imo lmao) in his shamelessness and his overtly violent and freak of nature attitude, is weirdly very validating and empowering for me, lmao. He is like the weak shameful parts of myself if the weak shameful parts of myself had teeth. 👍👍👍 Yeah 😁😁😁😁 Armand 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

lmfaooo, I’m so happy u picked this one bcus I love complaining and being a hater 😍 I am sorry in advance if I say anything that ruffles any bodies feathers, just bcus I don’t like these things ppl do doesn’t mean I don’t like the ppl who do them, y’all do u I’m not stopping u. Anyways.

I don’t enjoy how a handful of amc exclusive fans characterize Armand, because you can tell they rlly only understand him based on Wikipedia reads and his brief appearance in the show so far, which results in this sort of glaring simplification of his character in fan content. This wouldn’t rlly bother me if not for how prevalent it is 😭 like it’s genuinely difficult for me to find interesting and in character fanfic about Armand bcus so much of it is uniformed. The amc fandom sort of dominates the tvc fandom, it’s just so big. I don’t like when Armand is reduced to Louis’s new scary hot boyfriend/Lestat replacement/potential villain. It feels like he’s often perceived through this lens of a role in the story, like “hm this guy seems like a potential villain”, “no I think he’s a new love interest”, which is a conversation I find no appeal in at all considering you can’t fit the Armand I love into any of these narrative boxes. This isn’t rlly smth I have personal beef with bcus there’s no harm in fans of the show characterizing armand based on there limited knowledge while they wait for the next season, but for me it’s a pet peeve you know, as someone who rlly rlly likes armand a lot 😭.

(This is the exception to my no hate to u if u do this disclaimer btw, all the hate to u). on the subject of amc fans, I also often see this hostility towards fans of book Armand, where I’ll see amc fans talking about how perverse he is conceptually in the books and how gross ppl who like him are, which REALLY makes me very mad, because ok. Listen. Show armand is not a character yet, any and all things you enjoy about armand as of now as someone who hasn’t read the books are 1. How he looks. And 2. Things from the books that you apply to him in a new context. Assad’s performance, the people working on the show, the writers, everything that you base your enjoyment of armand in, is from the books 😭 But god forbid someone enjoy the source material over the hypothetical character who barely exists yet? God forbid someone do the same thing u do (take smth arguably morally dubious and interpret it in a way that u find interesting and compelling while acknowledging the morally dubious source material) just not in the context of an adaption. Ok. God forbid I enjoy and identify with an adult character trapped in the body of a child who is misperceived for his youth and sexually abused, it’s not like this is the same concept of beloved amc Claudia anyway. It’s also not like I am capable of enjoying something while criticizing it and disliking it’s flaws, and coming to conclusions based on critical thinking and analysis of concepts that may have been executed poorly, that I still admire and enjoy, bcus I am capable of complex thinking, and I don’t need to blindly enjoy every part of smth and perceive it as flawless to enjoy it. We all know that’s fake ! Anyways sorry for the angry rant 😭😭😭 moving on.

On a separate note, I also sometimes have beef with how fellow book armand fans portray him. This is small and sort of petty but it bothers me when Armand is drawn as like, very small and skinny. Maybe it’s bcus I head canon him as chubby and sort of cherub-built, maybe it’s bcus in TVA armand describes himself as strong in build and “not waif-ish”, but either or it does feel sort of wrong and off putting when I see Armand drawn as like, so small and petite that it’s emphasized. To me this reads as a missing of the point, if you will. An emphasis on physical qualities representative of innocence and youth that aren’t reflective of Armand’s character, only rlly how some other characters see him. I can often tell when an Armand fan enjoys him for the superficial qualities (eternally young, angelic looking, etc) over who he is, and it always encourages me to steer clear. I hope I’m making sense lol. This is also sometime present in fic but it’s more subtle and difficult to describe. Anyways

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I was thinking about this yesterday! I was first introduced to Armand when I was maybe 11 or 12, my dad put on 94 interview with the vampire for me and my twin sister while he did work around the house etc. he started watching it with us (he loves 94 iwtv) but by the time Armand showed up at the half way point he got up and started doing other things, so my sister and I were alone in front of the screen. For some reason lost to time my sister and I were very excited about seeing Antonio Banderas, maybe because we knew him from Zorro, so in the aftermath of the buffoon scene with Santiago that we found really funny, when Antonio Banderas appeared on screen we were hyped tf up. We were so enthralled in the moment of his cunty ass entrance we started cheering and clapping and screaming 😭 I think shrieking ARMANNNDDD!!!! At the screen (with no knowledge of who armand even was) Till I started laughing to tears is in my top ten formative moments. My first viewing of iwtv was just like that 😭 there was smth in the water that had my sister and I loosing our fucking minds with excitement over that movie. Anyways, I only immersed myself into the fandom and got rlly into tvc just last year, when I read interview with the vampire (smth that’s always been in the back of my mind since my first viewing, I really did love that movie) and then the rest of tvc. When I was reading interview with the vampire I had that subconscious excitement over Armand’s half way point appearance brewing from the get go (every time my sister and I have watched iwtv together since we were 12 we’ve done the same screaming at the screen ritual for armand) so when I was re introduced to him I was instantly attached to him. I very quickly discovered how much I was enthralled by this guy, like by his first appearance and description it went from a weird little nostalgic affection to a “omfg I feel many inexplicably strong feelings for this guy”. He was just so magnetic and weird, I was intrigued by every thing about him, like Louis lol. I started drawing him a bunch b4 I’d even finished the first book, and by the time I was introduced to him in tvl he was my favorite character. Tvl really solidified my armand obsession, and queen of the damned made me the person I am today 😭 insane. I think my impression of him now should be obvious at this point 😔 he is my silliest guy every morning I wake up and he is the first thought in my mind I cry about him daily I worship him like he’s my god sometimes I see a blender and I am so overwhelmed with emotion I want to scream if a professional looked into my brain and saw all the armand in there they’d diagnose me with super mega autism. I like him a lot. 🫶

Thank you sm for sending this ask once again! I’m sorry it’s so long lol, hope my responses were interesting. This is the ask game in question for anyone who may potentially want to send me more asks: https://www.tumblr.com/nightcolorz/734243514562510848?source=share I would cry with joy if so.

#tvc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vc #armand #The vampire armand #interview with the vampire #Iwtv #anne rice #Armand iwtv #armand tvc #armand vc #ask game

[rosiesramblings]

If It Kills You

Fandom: Stranger Things, Steddie (implied romantic but it could be read as just friends)

WC: ~900

A/N: So I finally got a minute to myself and wrote this little thing. It's not my fav but I figure something is better then radio silence lol. I haven't forgotten about the plant prompt from anon, it's coming! But I hope you enjoy this in the meantime.

���I swear to God, Steve, I’m going to raise your self-esteem even if it kills you,” Eddie had said, hands thrown up in the air at Steve’s latest self-deprecating comment.

At this rate, Steve thought, it just might.

Since his dramatic declaration, Eddie had made it his mission to correct Steve’s negative comments about himself in the most Eddie way Steve could imagine: tickling him to death until Steve managed to shout out three nice things about himself instead.

“And they can’t be the same,” Eddie called out over Steve’s laughter as he dug into his underarms the first time. “If I’ve heard them before they don’t count and you keep getting tickled. Got it?”

Somehow, hearing Eddie casually discuss the rules surrounding his demise was even more flustering for Steve. 

The first few times it happened, it was easy enough to come up with things he liked about himself. Steve would yelp and giggle his way through a few general comments about his hair, his smile, etc. As time went on, though, it got harder and harder to think of new things. He started getting more creative, snickering that he was a good friend to Robin or that he enjoyed helping Joyce do the dishes, hands not quite enough to hide his red face.

To Eddie’s credit, Steve did find himself making those types of self-deprecating comments less and less. However, there were still days where he slipped up.

The entire Party was gathered in the Wheeler’s basement, squeezed in together and making use of every available bit of floor space. The members of Hellfire were taking a snack break from their campaign, Robin was learning how to braid Max’s hair under Nancy’s watchful eye, and Jonathan and Argyle were in the midst of a heated discussion of whether water would be poisonous to Martians.

Dustin stepped over various legs and arms to get to where Steve was sitting on the couch. “You know, Eddie’s planning a new campaign for when school starts,” he batted his eyes innocently. “It would be the perfect time to introduce some new players to the game.”

Steve groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Dust, you know that Dangers and Doorknobs stuff goes straight over my head. I’m just too dumb for any of it to ever stick.”

From across the room, Eddie’s head shot up. 

Steve froze. 

Eddie slowly stood up from his chair and stalked toward Steve with a smirk on his face that unfroze Steve and made him start babbling.

“Wait, no, wait wait Eddie I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, please, I promise it was just a force of habit I swear - nononononohohohohohohoho,” Steve immediately started giggling when Eddie wiggled his fingers at him, curling into himself where he sat on the couch. He couldn’t stand up, El was on the floor leaning on his legs, so he resigned himself to his fate, knowing the rest of the Party would never let him live this down.

“You know the rules, Stevie,” Eddie sang as he came to a stop in front of him, towering over Steve as he wrapped his arms around his middle. “Three nice things. Go!”

Eddie’s fingers met both sides of Steve’s neck and he scrunched his shoulders up to his ears, immediately bursting into breathy chuckles. Steve tried to keep as still as possible, he didn’t want to accidentally give anybody a bloody nose, but he couldn’t stop his body from trying to escape the relentless sensation.

“Fuhuhuck! Okahay, Ihihi’m a good drihihiver?” Steve said through his giggles.

Eddie clicked his tongue. “No good, Stevie, you used that one last week. Still owe me three nice things about yourself, sweetheart.”

“Uhuhuhuhum, shit, Ihihihi always mahahake the kids puhuhuhut their seatbelts oN!” Steve started belly laughing as Eddie darted his hands down to his tummy, spidering his fingers rapidly.

“Hm, I’ll allow it. Two more, princess, and you’d better hurry before I go for your thighs.”

“Okayokayokay, shihihihit, I guess I’m, like, gehehehenerous with my tihihime?”

“You guess or you are? You don’t sound so sure, Stevie-boy,” Eddie taunted as he squeezed Steve’s sides.

“FUCK, I ahahahm, Ihihi ahahahaham!”

“Okay, one more, baby. You can do it,” Eddie said, teasing.

Ihihihi’m good at tahahaking cahahare of - EDDIE PLEHEHEASE,” Steve cackled as Eddie suddenly switched tactics and started mercilessly kneading at his thighs.

“What was that, sweetheart? I didn’t quite catch that,” Eddie grinned.

“BAHAHAHASTARD,” Steve threw his head back in mirth, tear tracks on his cheeks.

“So rude,” Eddie said, moving his hands to the muscle right above Steve’s kneecaps.

Steve screeched, folding forward, only succeeding in headbutting Eddie’s shoulder. “Ihihihi’m good ahahat tahahaking CARE OF PEOPLE, SHIHIHIT EDDIE THAHAHAT’S THREE,” Steve shouted.

Eddie stopped his tickling, moving to rub a firm hand up and down Steve’s back soothingly. “Good job, Stevie. I’m sure one of these days the lesson is gonna stick,” he grinned evilly, scuffing up Steve’s hair.

Steve kept hiding his red face in Eddie’s shoulder, willing his blush to go down. The room was quiet.

“Honestly, though, psychologically Eddie’s got the right idea,” Robin broke the silence. Then she tilted her head. “Although, instead of training Steve to be nice to himself, he might just be training him to laugh every time he says something self-deprecating.”

“I am not a dog, Robin,” Steve said into Eddie’s shirt. “Eddie isn’t training me.”

“Oh, aren't I?”

“Shut up, Munson.”

“Careful, Stevie. Next I might start tickling you every time you say something mean to me.”

#tickle fic #tickling #steddie tickling #stranger things #steddie #tfb community #ler!eddie munson #eddie munson #lee!steve #if you say something often enough you start to believe it #so be nice to yourself! #or I will hunt you down

[sunflowerharrington]

Dominating Billy Hargrove

18+ minors, please DNI for your own sake

just the headcanons, kind of. it’s a mix of hc’s and then like actual paragraphs just because

warnings: billy hargrove, this is consensual, being tied down to a bed, overstimulation nation, angry billy, dom!gn!reader, slight mommy kink

taglist: dm, comment or message me to be added/removed <3 @xxlangdon @taecube @quickiesgirl @langdon-cumslut @wzrlds @sympathyforher

why does this man make me kick my legs like i’m at a teenage girl’s sleepover in a disney channel show or a katy perry music video

the answer is very simple:

there’s your answer ⇧

- okay so you gotta do this on a good day to pull it off

- and by a good day i mean when he’s calm

- “but when is he ever calm?” i’ve been asking myself the same question since season two, babes. so scratch what i just said

- tie his wrists and ankles tightly to the bed, because you know that mother fucker (literally, but let’s not remind ourselves about karen) will be able to break free in an instant if you don’t

- yes, to actually pull this off you have to wait until he’s in a deep sleep, and by the time he wakes up youll have tied him down but not too tight

- yeah it’ll be tight enough to mark his wrists a little but not to the point of cutting through his skin

- you had a thought of cuffing him down, but you only had two pairs and there was no way in hell you’d let yourself be caught by billy if you decided to ask someone for a lend of theirs (also totes not sneaking into a store and stealing them. totally not)

- once he wakes up he realizes instantly what you’ve done. and one of two things could happen:

- he could start threatening you

- or he could try to break free, which may result in a broken headboard — since you and him started your situationship that would be probably the fourth or fifth time realistically

- there’s no winning here

- his anger, like always, turned you on a LOT

- you crawl from the foot of the bed up to his hips, straddling his thighs as you played with his hair. something he hated you doing as it “destroyed his masculinity” a little

- he does however consent to this. consent is VERY important !!!

- you decide to overstimulate the heck out of him that night, covering his mouth each and every time you made him come, just to piss him off that little bit more

- “we don’t want poor little maxine hearing that her so-called alpha male brother is whimpering like a pathetic little sub right now, do we?” you would tease him, making him even more frustrated

- don’t even dare try to make him call you mommy

- i mean he probably would, but right now definitely not

- still tries to dominate you

- ✨fails✨

- whining mess after a while, but you love it deep down

- “just shut up and take what i’m giving you or so help me i’ll stop right now and just leave you here!” you’d unintentionally scream at him, slapping him hard in the face like he did to you so many times (during sex though, no matter how much of an asshole billy is he wouldn’t be physically abusive, he would never put his hand on his person)(yes he does beat up steve every waking day but he would never touch you like that)

- thrusts up into you, and even though you love it you won’t let it show. you don’t wanna give him that satisfaction

- will still, however, call you his princess (for all genders, or if you’re not comfortable with that then maybe sweets or toots or something ☺️)

- oh babes, that obviously gets you going because how could it not?

- he looks like he’s enjoying it but there’s still that anger in his eyes

- never takes his eyes off you once but that’s kind of canon now thanks to the fandom, i can’t thank you enough 💕 and that’s not me being sarcastic

- on a very good day he might even let you fuck/peg him ;) but that’s only if he’s in a really good mood slash desperate

- babes if you’re giving him head, deepthroat him (or as much as you can), it’ll drive him crazy that he can’t pull your hair and drive you exactly where he wants you

- tease the shit out of him, it’s probably one of the only times you’ll ever get to do this without being punished immediately

- almost whimpers your name as he comes and the satisfaction you feel during that moment is unmatched to anything you’ve ever felt before or will ever feel again

- after you both come down from your high and as soon as you untie him you have to run away like lightning, godspeed, as if you’re quicksilver on steroids, because you know you won’t be able to walk for a week

- you’re running as fast as you can but billy’s already caught you

- good luck trying to walk after that is all i can say

#okay this was really shit but idc #billy stranger things #billy hargrove #stranger things #stranger things headcanons

[oonajaeadira]

State of the WIP Address

Not much change this week. Still feeling avoidant, behind in just about everything, including a show I'm supposed to be making and things I'm supposed to be writing. I would say it doesn't help that Gordy came home this week, but I spent so much of it at home while he was sleeping that I really should have gotten something done. What really doesn't help is the SO not having enough to keep him busy so he makes me watch TV with him. Then I stay up too late trying to finish things, and then I'm tired the next day and the cycle renews.

I've put borders up around this weekend, and turned down some minor get togethers because I have to get shit done. Priority list right now is:

Scheduling for my winter festival

Prepping for a producer meeting on Monday

Finishing my show research

Secret Santa fic

Finishing a custom scrying mirror commission

Cleaning out my car. And my closet. And the basement.

I expect to get about half of this done this weekend. Which half will be determined by how distracting the dog and SO wanna be.

Really what I've been enjoying lately is just reading, just catching up on fic. I am so lucky to be a part of a fandom that has so many fascinating characters and so many good writers and just a constant feast of noms. Thank you.

State of the Wips is under the cut. There are no updates since last time. I am always trying. <3

STATE OF THE WIPS

I have one million projects happening, but these are the pieces I’m actively thinking about and working on at the moment.

SECRET SANTA Where it’s at: I’m writing for someone I think is a wonderful person and want to do right by them, so the pressure’s on. But at the same time, it’s not. Because I know how accepting and lovely the person is and they gave me a lot of prompts and options and like a lot of the things I do and seem to like a lot of the types of things I like to write. I also know that this doesn’t have to be over-complicated, that I can write my heart and it will please both of us. While I haven’t actually opened up a doc to start, I know that it’s the type of thing that if I have a little uninterrupted block of time, I can just sit down and it will flow. I won’t say much about it here, but I will say that while it can 100% be read as standalone, it hits on a character/series I’m currently writing and acts as a kind of prequel, a reason for loving the reader as he does. It’s something that is kind of missing in the planned series and I think this would be a nice opportunity to explore it before moving forward (and maybe helping propel that series a little) while also touching on one of the characters my giftee likes, a genre they are interested in that I hadn’t considered with this character, and it will have a tone I think they’ll appreciate. So while it’s for them and being written with their likes in mind, I thank them, because it’s also a little gift for me and my yearnings. What’s stopping me: Time constraints and general anxiety.

TROPE FIC: MODERN DOM!PERO Where it’s at: This one got a little sloppy and I’m working on it. I’ve been following @max–phillips’ entries about what defines certain types of kinks and while my thoughts on dom!Pero started as true dom, they swung wrong when I started working on this, and now I’m just thinking myself back to the definition of dominant. And while I may still be missing the mark, it’s helping me to think more about how I want to explore and frame this dynamic. It’s also giving me a little trouble in that it’s not coming out chronologically which causes me to waste time jumping around and retrofitting things. What’s stopping me: I put this one on hold to start prioritizing the Secret Santa piece.

TROPE FIC: SEX POLLEN!OBERYN Where it’s at: This piece is flowing chronologically. It’s going to be longer than I anticipated and the first draft is about 1/3 done. I already know that after the first draft I’ll have to do some shaping and I think maybe I got overwhelmed with the task I set for myself and that triggered my avoidance. I know where it’s going, I’m excited for it, it will flow easily if I let it, I just have to do it! What’s stopping me: I put this one on hold because I got distracted by tasty Pero thoughts. I blame @perotovar for the thots, but not the stopping. That’s all on me.

TROPE FIC: ALPHA!JAVI Where it’s at: I’m about ½ done with the first draft. Again, this one will be longer (and also more angsty) than I anticipated. I love love love where it’s going though and reader and Javi’s history is beautiful and sad and complex; I really love that half. I’m just now switching into the modern day section of it and have to make a few decisions about how I actually want it to go. My mind is over-complicating the story and I’m trying to wrestle it down a softer path. What’s stopping me: I got distracted by the Oberyn story which is why this one’s on hold and now this is all Inceptioning on itself.

GOOD. THINGS. TAKE. TIME. Where it’s at: The asks are all sorted, there are only a few more sessions left before chapter 4. I just have to write it. What’s stopping me: Here’s the thing about PATS. If I was out for notes, I’d be pounding on this series, because it’s my most popular one. But… really, I’m just here to dream up stories I like to tell. I put PATS down not consciously and not because I don’t love him, but I got excited by other ideas. I want to finish it because I don’t like having a bunch of unfinished projects lying around, but I also don’t want that to be my #1 motivator for writing him. I want to enjoy it. I did enjoy putting the latest installment out, but I also don’t feel like I’m letting anyone down if I don’t hurry it, just because engagement is low. Again, I’m not here for the notes, I truly love the connection and the squeeing and sharing a yearn. We’re all so busy now that it’s tough to get to everything and the mutual timing is a bit off. That’s okay. It’s planned out, it’ll get done, I just have to do it when I’m feeling it.

LEAVE OFF YOUR WANDERING: WINTER Where it’s at: Finished plan. Yet to begin writing. What’s stopping me: I was wrestling with this one for a bit because I had two directions it could go–soft and fluffy without much meat, or weaving all the details together and serving a story that gets rather dark, a little sad, and serves as a fix it. On one hand, I felt like I would be betraying readers by not keeping the euphoric escape. But I would also feel like I built this whole backstory that needed to manifest itself in a test for Joel and Meadowlark, as well as the fact that–other than backstories–there hasn’t been any canon hardship or violence displayed. It’s like I’m missing a huge chunk of who Joel and Meadowlark are. In the end, that’s where the story wants to go, so I’m going there. And I have to not think about what anyone else wants, just me. Not just for selfish reasons, but I know that’s when I do my best. It doesn’t mean there won’t still be fluff and a happy ending. It just means I have to write darkness and perhaps it will serve me better to do it in the season in which it takes place.

#state of the wip address

[xxlittle-miss-horrorxx]

I think I may make a side blog just for Helluva Boss

Now it’s not really gonna be so much of a critical blog (even if I may critique things here and there) but idk I still have a very love and hate relationship with said series. It’s actually more of a blog of an AU of how I would change things. Like redesigns and such.

I don’t fully hate it since I had fond memories with season 1 but idk something about season 2 misses the mark for me… the last episode was so bad that even my friends who love the series thought it was too much. (Actually like me, they also can’t stand season 2)

Also, I don’t wanna discuss these spindlehorse allegations. I feel like it’s not fair to jump the gun since there’s more sides to the stories and I keep seeing screenshots that provide no context at all. And just talking about that is super exhausting… like sorry guys, I rather not have people bother me about that.

However, I still like the characters I just wish season 2 didn’t assassinate them. I actually love Blitzo being an cynical asshole and he’s a favorite of mine BUT ahhhh I would prefer if he faced consequences. I’m very mixed with Stolas, I enjoyed him through season 1 since idk the morally grey with him was entertaining but eh…. The woobification happened and once again being neglectful to Octavia :””) so yeah but I had ideas I have in mind.

I think the issue with Helluva Boss, is that it should had stayed as an episodic edgy adult cartoon than forcing it to have a plot driven story. A thing with cynical characters CAN work but you should let them face consequences when they do dumb stuff. It’s kind of why I enjoy MTV’s downtown so much since that show too has cynical characters but don’t always get things easily handed to them. But now it’s like giving me the odd feeling I had with Aggrektsuko and SVTFOE when they force a ship to show that it ruins all logic 🙃🙃🙃

That being said, I have issues with the fandom and hatedom.

I really don’t wanna engage to much with the fandom since holy shit there’s so much toxic positivity there, i remember people getting angry at me for disliking Loona. (When I had my reasons) and I had to give my reasons why the show had a misogyny problem with women. Because god forbid a fan can’t have different opinions.🙄🙄🙄 I am nervous to share self ship art of my oc with Bl*tzo since oooof st*l*tz shippers may take it personal. (Even tho I plan to have blitzo and Stolas be in a friends with benefits relationship since I think that makes more sense with them )

And while I don’t really 100% believe these allegations since I think there’s missing truth, I hate how these Stans would attack Erin and Ken like guys please fucking stop. We need to have innocent until guilty, not just with Viv okay? I’ve detached myself from Viv since I’m not fond of her childish behavior but I don’t wanna jump the gun with her still. (Please don’t bother me about this I’m aware of Ken and I do hope they recover, it’s just that’s so exhausting )

As for the hatedom and antis… oooof I’ve seen antis go too far and would harass Viv and her writers and such because of a bad episode and all of that. Don’t get me wrong, I know Viv enables bad fandom behavior and even shit talks people that review her stuff and I am against that… but sometimes these haters stoop to her level. Hell one “critical” blog even went on how Viv blocked them and was all “suspicious I think not” well when you constantly got o their pages to harass her and her team, well no shit they’ll block you. And idk this person just has a very unhealthy extreme hate for Viv…. They watch her every move and look way too deep into things…

It’s just idk I hate because these people get lumped with criticals. Some critic blogs are fine I just hate they’re now lumped with antis that go too far.

Also maybe it’s me, I’m planning to create an Indie project soon and I just rather make a side blog for this stuff. I think it may be unprofessional for someone like me to dwelve into the hatedom and fandom and it’s better to surround yourself with small friends you trust.

So yeah don’t expect me going anti or Stan, it may be a bit critical but it’s also me doing fun AUs and enjoying things I do like about the show. The more you stay in toxic positivity or toxic negativity, it’s gonna eat you alive.

I’ve been encouraged by friends to just do my own thing you know :3

So I just rather be the casual fan who just forms her opinions on things so I don’t have to interact with fandom as a whole :””)

#helluva boss critical #vivziepop critical #yeah I think I’m general I’m just not gonna go to the anti bandwagon #and I sure as hell don’t wanna surround myself with stans #besides I got my own original project I’m wanting to make into a webtoon #so I can’t really dwelve too much drama

[elowmojo]

I'd like to say a few words about this. It may be prejudicial to me but I don't care. I've been in the fandom since the game came out, I was playing on PS4 before. I didn't have discord. Then I started playing on PC.

I started to realize that this group was toxic when they started recruiting people I liked into their group. I saw them change, become problematic, elitist.

Some of these people even blocked me overnight because I shared a ship with Kerry Eurodyne and my V. And did the same with my friends.

I mean... People like the same characters, instead of blocking, why not share the same interest! They're pixels, NPCs don't belong to anyone. They belong to everyone. Because we all have a different universe! No one has the best ship or the worst ship. Creating competition is not a healthy thing.

It's shameful to put people down, to make groups to define who is validated or not. I've long found myself subjected to their intensive ass-kissing amongst themselves while ignoring others on purpose. Oh well, maybe it's because they've blocked out 80% of the fandom.

Let's stop encouraging them in this toxic circle. They don't deserve all the support you give them. They don't deserve sympathy.

I had problems with one particular person in this cult. I enjoyed his work as a modder. I was often embarrassed to ask him for advice because I'm someone who has trouble understanding things, I don't trust myself. This person clearly humiliated me by calling me a "smooth brain" and that I couldn't string together "2 words in English".

Why? Because he found out I was talking behind his back, because he wasn't doing it maybe? He was lucky enough to learn it from one of his "spies" on Discord. But I'll never know all the crap he threw behind my back. I certainly did go behind his back. But I only do it for people who deserve it and who are not right. Everyone talks behind their backs, even friends talk behind their backs. Let's be realistic. It's human nature! Yeah, I did not leave myself to anyone contrary to what he claimed. His toxic reputation just caught up him. I hate him now. But I didn't used to hate him like he thought I did. Oh and... hiding under rainbow and spitting shit is not good...

Another point. Claiming that I use modders (I exploit them) If a modder doesn't want to help me I'm not going to force them. If you don't want to you don't. But don't let these people call me someone who uses modders as "machine mods" after agreeing to make me a mod. I find it offensive that I'm seen as someone who exploits. I am nobody. No one owes me ANYTHING!

The Cult is nauseating and allows to judge people without knowing them. They get to say who is in and who is out. No! Not here. Do what you like. Don't let ANYONE say if you are in or out. Don't let these people influence you. They may be nice to you but that's not reality. They will end up throwing you away like an old handkerchief.

CDPR should be careful about who they "recruit" and promote.

#Cyberpunk2077 #CP77 Fandom #No More clique #No more Cult #Let's talk

[demonytekav]

thinking of becoming the statistic the h8rs warn everyone about for my 30th this summer & just leaning fully into bkdk \m/ \m/ yolo

🤣 I’m probably going to give you a more serious answer than you wanted. So I’ll just start off by saying DO. IT. We are too old to be told what to do in our personal time 🤣 and to not do the things that makes us happy. If you worry about being ‘seen’ just make a separate account and log in and out of it as you please and indulge in what you like.

A statistic? Eh who gives a shit besides people who can’t just allow others to enjoy themselves with what makes them happy. Shipping fictional characters isn’t hurting anyone. Literally. They aren’t real.

We never know what’s going on behind the scenes of someone’s life. I learned to stop giving a shit about “avoiding” something like shipping characters when I realized how much being a fandom, especially the part I want to be in, seriously helped me out as a person.

I get why people hate bkdk I really do. I have my own reasons as to why I ship it and prefer it and we don’t have to validate ourself to people who can’t just appreciate other people doing something that makes them happy. Simple as that.

I’ve had to hide myself my entire life thanks to my family. I literally am a damn robot. Don’t smile or show emotions whatsoever and somewhere along the way the person I was supposed to be is long gone.

On top of that due to a very abusive relationship that cost me my friends and the family I still live with I spent a long time fully alone. One day I decided to make a bum profile for a fandom and found something that brought color back to my world. I will NOT allow anyone to take that away from me. My personal space is MINE.

I will ALWAYS encourage people to indulge in their interests in regards to fandom. It’s MEANT to be fun. The characters and stories aren’t real and its okay to enjoy them as you see fit. What you indulge in, in regards to fandom, doesn’t sum you up as a person. The shit just tickles your happy bone is all.

While every fandom/ship has their bad apples you don’t have to interact with those people. And can find people who are kind.

Shippers will accept you. There are so many people on this side of the fandom waiting for more people to come in and just be here with us.

While I don’t know you reasons for holding back, don’t. Don’t let anyone tell you what’s right or proper to do in your personal space. Don’t let anyone make you feel like shit for finding joy in something. There are people who are just like you and ready to accept you and get silly and talk about fun stuff with you.

So DO IT. Get in here with the rest of us. Like I said if you aren’t comfortable with your main use a side email and make a new profile and just enjoy yourself. You don’t owe anyone anything and you don’t have to explain yourself.

Come see all the art and fics people have made. Allow yourself to find one more thing that add some extra color to your life.

Haters don’t know me. They don’t know my life. They can go worry about themselves. I’m here for ME.

So you be there for you. Don’t hold back on account of what haters say. Fuck em. You come first to you always. You matter.

#bakudeku #personal #bkdk #Kav answers #nobody asked for a novel Kav

[julymarte]

REPOST CAUSE I MESSED UP THE  TAGS  REAL BAD i apologise for the typos  you might  find in the post too, i’m terrible at  typing  and my  brain is to tired to type  check atm Aside from the mostly exterior  analysis  me and my friends did  for the tweels au  i promised to myself i would have not meddles with the EN fandom but here i am making a post with my 2 cents on the  Jade wish episode..... I’m making this  cause  due to misunderstandings  i’ve seen people on various socials blaming Idia  for  being mean to  Jade when he truly wasn’t, Idia  was righ, he’s  not  bullying Jade not to mention Jade has  said he  doesn’t  care about people’s opinions/judgement so him crying here is clearly crocodilw tears he’s not really offended or  sad cause Idia  let’s  say, “assumed” his wish was insincere....it’s like the situation where bohoo poor  baby everyone mocks his  hobby, he   doesn’t  give a  shit anyways, he  enjoys it  and  will enjoy it  no matter  what. He  doesn’t  care what people think so he’s not sad and miserable about it the  same  way he  doesn’t  care idia  thinks he was being shady...and let me say again, Idia IS right. But  why  was Jade’s  wish ACTUALLY insincere? He might  be sincere in wanting Azul and Floyd’s  wish to come true as he might  as well benefit  from that (not cause he loves and cherishes them) but  the insincerity lies  in  the  fact that that is not his TRUE wish, we may never know his true  wish  cause as he and azul said  at the  beginning of the  event the starsending can be an extremely profitable and   exploitable event where knowing people wishes, desires, needs can be later exploited to bribe and blackmail and if that can be done to others it can be done to you as well... a wish could be a weakness, something that can be taken advantage of and  Jade doesn’t  want to be on that side of the knife, he  wants to be the one in control Idia wasn’t bullying him he was just expressing his opinion out loud,he does have his swings of low confidence and smugness and can come off  as rude sometimes but he’s very observant  and yes often plays on the  defensive stance but  while coming off too straightforward or offensive he does tell the truth most of the times with this i retire back in my  cavern now BEFORE I GO THO I just want to say i respect your  cutie baby jade headcanons, i  don’t  agree with them and sometimes I wonder if  we are reading the same thing, but who am i to stop you? everyone should be free to enjoy things  how they see fit  but it  just  sucks  when mischaracterization of  a characters spreads into other characters putting them in a  negative light  when they did nothing wrong (in this case ofc, most  twst  characters  did  wrong things and  are dysfuctional in their own way), that being said PEACE!

#jade leech #idia shroud #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twsten #wish upon a star #dance and wishes #starsending #drftgyhjukilo #i hate reposting but i hate making typos in the tags #this killed my reach once let's see if it does it again #YOLO

[gothamslostboy]

Hi!! ive always wanted to do a matchmaking request for the lost boys <33

* Physical appearance-

i’ve got wavy blue hair, cut up to my ears, basically brahms hair cut but grown out! i have green/brown eyes, and i have so many beauty marks all over my body. i’m 5’6, and have ear piercing + a septum! i have -5 vision so i need glasses ;-;

* Style-

as of right now i dress like a dad or that one uncle, cargo shorts, over sized tshirt, hawaiian shirts or hoodie, rings and necklaces [lots of thrm] earrings and nose ring!! i always make sure i have cool socks on tho, gotta keep up the style!! i usually carry a canva messenger bag with me. for shoes it’s probably doc martens!

* Favorite food

spinach, pickle flavoured sun flower seeds, ramen, calamari, rice, simple foods mostly

* Gender preference -

any gender works for me! i just tend to lean more towards men <3

* 1-2 hobbies -

i absolutely love crafting, no matter what it is, i want to make stuff! it’s not really a hobbit but i love taxidermy, when i did my first rat i fell in love with it and want to do more, so anything relating to death is a bobbie for me 🫶

* Music tastes-

sad love songs, metal music, fnaf music, french music,, it’s very all over the place right now here are the most listened to songs from me! loosing my mind - dennis domian, atlantis - seafret, ça va - emile bilodeau, we’re not gonna take it - twisted sisters, it’s a little of everything yknoe

* Favorite animal-

i think my favorite animals are between sharks, the stoplight loose jaw fish, frogs, rats and worms!!

* Favorite movie/genre -

For genre it’s horror all the way, but for favorite movies? my favorite movies are the lost boys, scream, labyrinth, 9, ferngully, dead poets society and the last unicorn!

* 1-2 personality traits -

im childish, but gruesome thinking, and i have terrible adhd and can basically remember nothing

* Gender

i have no gender 🫶 but i lean towards male pronouns

* Fandom (max 3) - which movie/tv show

the lost boys please!!

* How many characters?

1. 1 fandom: maximum 2

3. 2-3 fandoms: maximum 3

whoever you see fif

* Zodiac sign

i’m a taurus✋

* 1-2 traits you look for in partner
in a partner i just really want someone who will love me for me, that’s understanding and will get i habe my ups n downs, but also someone who’s down to do stupid stuff when the time comes yknow? i’m a really big person on giving gifts to people, so someone who could possibly match that energy❓

here’s some extra info about me tho

i’m aro-ace! the type of aromatic that’s cupioromantic, and a mostly sex-repulsed asexual. now the sex repulsed part is mostly towards myself, i don’t wanna see other people or myself naked, watchjng sex scenes is less bad, still weird to me tho,, i speak frnech since i learnt it when i was also learning english! so i’m sorry if my spelling is off or there’s mistakes 😭 i have writing issues shsishshs

this is so exciting i hope i gave you enough info!!

Ok before I get into this: YOU ARE SO COOL. YOURE LIKE A COOLER VERSION OF WHO I WANT TO BE. Pickle flavored sunflower seeds are amazing, but I always accidentally eat the shells haha:] don’t worry your spelling is great, also I wish I was taught another language when I was young, my mom hired a Chinese teacher and I remember 1 song, but we stopped when I was 4 (started at 2) and I don’t remember anything else<\\\3

I Ship You With….

Marko! You want someone who also likes giving/receiving gifts? HE IS YOUR MAN!!! Holy shit he’s gonna give you so many gifts you won’t be able to move around your home.

He’s a vampire, so who is he to judge anyone? As long as someone is not a hateful bigot or an asshole, he’ll find a way to vibe. He himself struggles with anger issues, so he understands mental health a bit and does his best. Besides Paul, he’s the boy most likely to do stupid shit with you, mainly bc he enjoys being a gremlin.

Lil personal hc here: Marko is Trans, so when it comes to you not having a gender, it’s the equivalent of someone not having blonde hair to him: he doesn’t care. He’s just happy to have you as a partner

Marko is very used to being around Paul, so ADHD and childish behavior doesn’t bother him, and he’s gonna encourage your gruesome thinking as much as he can.

His favorite things about your style is your hair, socks and piercings, certainly begging to re dye it himself and buying you guys socks. He buys 2 pairs, takes one of each pair, and gives you the remaining two. He loves to do this instead of matching things in the normal way.

He is an artsy dude, focusing mostly on clothes himself. But once you tell him about taxidermy? He’s on his hands and knees asking you to show him how. He obviously knew what it was, just for some reason it never connected in his head that it’s a real thing ppl do.

On dates he takes you to local flee markets/ art shows to get things and make art out of whatever thing inspires you too.

After one of his favorite pigeons passes, he will ask if you could taxidermy it for him and keeps it safely in his room.

#glb match making #matchmaking

[decepti-thots]

Just wanted to say it’s always so freeing when you stop considering the author’s intent or lack there of as the world of god. I’ve been in fandom so long and while it’s refreshing to see interpretations/headcanons even ships validated or acknowledged, taking that feedback as solely the enjoyable or only way to enjoy fandom renders the experience null? Like back in my day fan content was so much about seeing something that doesn’t make sense or underdeveloped characters and going wild with new content… so yeah just. I was just thinking about to your post on ignoring what creators say and that in combination how wildly different aspects of TF lore/characters has made be see an author say something and go “fuck that” and create a shit ton of content for myself

Yeah! Agreed! I think especially that you don't have to think of it as adversarial, too. Like you say, in TF fandom there's so much room for taking a core concept in wildly different directions just... built into the way the franchise works. It's a core part of the appeal for a lot of folks. I think it's less that fandom currently is completely opposed to taking things in a different direction to how the creator(s) intended or their 'word of god', and more that you have to 'justify' doing so. You can do it, the implication often goes, if there's a problem you need to fix. Which I find to be a very limiting approach, personally. (And sometimes also one that encourages completely unnecessary and inane Diskhorse TM, tbh.) Sometimes there's nothing 'wrong' with where an author takes something, or their perspective/stated intent, but you just want to do something different, and that is also a great, creative way to engage with source material! Readings that go "against the grain" of a text on purpose can be deployed to great effect!

Fandom does not exist to grant legitimacy to either works or creators; it exists as an extension of the reader before it exists as an extension of either text or author, is my take. I think starting from that idea gives way to weirder, more interesting stuff than asking permission first ever could. And what's better than weird, interesting stuff?

#i mean not being funny but if tf fandom cared more about what creators think than their own ideas things that would never exist include: #1) cult classic TF comic More Than Meets The Eye #so!

[goatsandgangsters]

shadow and bone episode 6 liveblog: all two minutes of it before I turned off the TV

wow Baghra sure doesn’t…….. give a flying fuck that Alina plans to kill her son. which would be fucked up in a vacuum, but like. in the books, her motivation THE ENTIRE TIME is “saving him.” her ENTIRE THING is that SHE DOES NOT CARE about anything but herself and her son’s survival. EVERYTHING ELSE is expendable, the entire country is expendable, even Alina is expendable. BUT SURE!!! LET’S JUST NOT CARE THAT THE ONLY ONE OF YOUR MANY CHILDREN YOU BOTHERED TO RAISE AND THE ONLY CONSTANT OVER LIKE 800 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE IS GONNA GET MURDERATED

I am paused two minutes into the episode debating if this show is worth finishing

Darkling stans, I’ve always thought our section of the fandom unfairly vilified Baghra. but I am now maintaining that opinion only about book!Baghra. this is extremely cruel writing.

god. even book!darkling—an objectively worse and Deader Inside person than his show counterpart—had the decency to be extremely fucked up over Baghra’s death. and she just isn’t phased by the reverse prospect at all?

how did book!darkling, an objectively worse person who did far worse to everyone around him, get a more sympathetic treatment than what we’re doing now? like, what was the point of all the work they did to humanize the character and make him more three-dimensional, who DOESN’T EVEN DO HALF THE HEINOUS THINGS AS HIS BOOK COUNTERPART, only to turn around and take away sympathy for him that existed in the books

I was already expecting this liveblog would be a big rant about the decision to have baghra HELP alina with the amplifiers even though that is so outrageously counter to Literally Everything She Stands For And Believes In, but this just decked me in the face, so we might not even get far enough for me to do That Particular Rant

I’ve turned off the TV

an hour has passed, I’ve taken a shower, I’ve continued to debate with myself if I should just be done with the entire franchise and care about things that are actually good, instead of caring too much about things because I wish they were good

we’ll see what I decide. I’m gonna sleep on it 

don’t tell me anything / be very vague. I can ask Kara specifics for my mind-making-up-process but I still want to have control over what/how much info I take in to make that decision 

I really……. didn’t foresee a world where I wouldn’t like season 2

because like, I read the books. on the whole, I enjoyed them. even though objectively 5 of them are mediocre at best. I made it through. I had fun. they’re not good, but they’re entertaining, and that has value. and that was always my assurance. “well, if nothing else, the show won’t be WORSE than the books.” and I’m not so sure about that right now.

all things considered, I’m actually the world’s most easy-to-appease Darkling Stan. I don’t want a different ending. I like both deaths, in r&r and row. honestly, all I’ve ever wanted is for the narrative to be less heavy-handed on lecturing the audience, stop telling me how I’m supposed to feel, and respect the tragedy of someone who’s fought so hard and so long that there’s nothing left of him. Respect that that’s tragic.

and based on season 1, I thought, perfect, you’re golden, on the right track, just keep this up. I’m looking forward to that sweet sweet tragedy 

and I do not understand how this version of the character—who is nowhere near as bad as his book counterpart—is being treated with even less sympathy. I don’t understand it. his own mother doesn’t give a shit??? you can’t even give him THAT? there is not a single soul in this whole entire world with even a scrap of sympathy, despite the fact that there are multiple characters in the book who feel that? they trust the audience so little? 

my ask was so minimal. respect the tragedy of the character. and right now, it seems like they’re doing a WORSE job than the book did. 

#episode 6 verdict (minutes 1–2): I made it through rule of wolves but I might not make it through this #don’t tell me anything / be very vague #I can ask kara for specifics for making-up-my-mind but I still wanna have control over what/how much info I take in to make that decision #sab liveblog

[firecrackerhh]

Yknow when I really think about it I don’t really give a shit if someone doesn’t like Viv’s stuff.

Cuz ultimately they can cry and bitch and moan about her all day long, doesn’t change the fact she’s still gonna do what she’s gonna do yknow?

My problem lies where some criticals have this fucking superiority complex where they fucking think they’re better than us fans just because they look at something “critically.” Even though there’s more to critical thinking than constantly fucking bitching about how bad you think something is, something they have yet to figure out.

Frankly, they aren’t better than us, they’re just obnoxious.

All they do is cry about Viv and how terrible her writing is, or how the color palette is bad, or how this or that relationship is toxic, or sometimes they don’t even bother with the show, they just start shit-talking Viv as a person.

I feel like if you have so many complaints about a work to where you want it to be something else, Just write a fucking fanfic and move on, instead of wasting time with something you clearly dislike. Stop lying to yourself about how you want to see it improve when in reality you just want it done your way.

It’s fucking weird, like they expect us to just keep listening to their stupid bullshit with no complaints, yeah you have a right to free speech, so do we, you say something fucking stupid, don’t be surprised when people call you out on it. They act like they get fucking harassed by us when in reality we’re just responding to them normally? Yeah maybe some people in the fandom are passive aggressive or respond with memes or whatever but that’s only because so many antis and criticals are fucking blockheads and nothing we say matters to them anyway so why bother? Can’t argue with a brick wall.

If you think Viv’s writing is so fucking bad, and every episode just keeps reinforcing that opinion, then why keep watching it? Swear to God I legit think some criticals are fucking masochists or something.

I’m not saying you can’t criticize either show at all, but if your criticisms revolve around how her characters “all look the same.” Or how Vivzie portrays demons or angels in an inaccurate way (even though demons and angels don’t fucking exist) then perhaps, I’m sorry to repeat something you’ve heard a million times before, it just isn’t for you.

It isn’t like Viv ever SAID she was aiming for accuracy anyway, if you think that, that’s your fault my dude. You are the idiot here.

I know those aren’t the only examples of course but they’re the ones I thought of off the top of my head.

Look, I don’t think Viv is a fucking goddess among us mere mortals or any of that horseshit, she isn’t infallible, but she’s a fucking human being! She’s a human being who frankly I think does not deserve half of the constant fucking bullshit she probably is forced to bear witness to every time she goes on social media. She doesn’t deserve to get fucking doxxed or get patreon shit leaked or whatever because some of y’all are fucking douchebags who get some fucking thrill out of making shit harder for someone who hasn’t done anything to you. She isn’t the literal devil.

But, though I’m sure she would appreciate the sentiment, I don’t have the energy to waste on debunking obviously bullshit claims about Viv, other people do that shit online as is, I just…it’s exhausting man.

I just like it for what it is. Isn’t perfect, nothing is, but I’m not asking for perfection! What I’m looking for is a good time, and so far? I’ve been enjoying myself, irritated as I can get by hearing stupid people online. Isn’t my fault I’ve been hyperfixated on her shows since 2019.

It for whatever reason has brought me far more joy than I honestly expected. Like I made OCs, I’m almost on 40 chapters of my fanfic I’ve been writing since late 2019, maybe everything I’m writing is garbage but hey, I’m having a fun time, anyone who has a problem with that can suck it.

It isn’t like this is the only thing I’ve liked that gets nothing but constant bullshit online. Sometimes I honestly think it’s best if we just didn’t bother even speaking to critics and antis, it’s obvious they’re as set in their ways as we are, why bother? Unless they say something truly reprehensible in which case we bring the wrath of God (Satan?) upon them.

Well, there’s my 2 cents. Though I think I turned 2 cents into 20 dollars with how long my ramblings tend to go on for.

🔥🧨Firecracker out🔥🧨

#hazbin hotel #helluva boss #tis i the werebitch #long post #vivziepop #this probably came off really obnoxious #but eh #so do criticals when they’re spouting their bullshit