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akko-kagori · 1 month

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DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT DILUC IS IN THE NEW EVENT

#You don't understand I'm STARVED for Diluc content #I'VE MISSED HIM SO MUCH #YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND #I'VE BEEN ON MY KNEES B E G G I N G FOR DILUC CRUMBS

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polaroidcats · 8 months

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I just wrote a very long rant and deleted it again but!! if any of you EVER have even a tiny bit of imposter syndrome when it comes to academic writing I am very happy to inform you that you absolutely do not need any of that, because as I've witnessed countless times by now, even some professors (especially professors) do not know how to use citation software but will also refuse to put any bibliographic information into the WIP document, and instead rely on their asistant's psychic powers to figure out what needs to go into the bibliography of their texts.

#rant #ramblings #like i'M BEGGING YOU AT LEAST GIVE ME THE TITLE OF THE TEXT OR THE PLACE OF PUBLICATION #just the author's name and a year is NOT ENOUGH with most authors 😭#i'm so fucking frustrated like why why WHY WOULD YOU NOT JUST COPY PASTE THE INFO INTO THE DOC #you must have had the info at one point when u looked the reference text up???#just copy it into the doc #and what makes it even worse is that we all have access to a citation software that I KNOW she sometimes uses #but not consistently and then it's just pure chaos #how does she expect me to do my job of editing the bibliography when T h e r e I s N o F u c k i n g B i b l i o g r a p h y #life in academia

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impossibletruths · 9 months

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folk in the tags of this post like "the stroke should have killed him" are you forreal

#I am b e g g i n g you to get offline oh my god #tbd #sorry sorry I shouldn't read the discourse I'm just. holy shit.

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legendary-cookies · 2 years

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To be fair

They did give him a legendary costume

And also treasure which is neat I guess

Not too much to complain about there

But

You can't just deprive my boy of his combi pet Devsisters

Where is Magma Stone Devsisters

#velvet speaks #fire spirit cookie #immortal cataclysm #is it the next update #it better be the next update guys #he needs his p e t #maybe i'm being picky #sorry #but i'm w a t c h i n g you #my prediction is that the story ends on them finding fire spirit and or his bead #or possibly magma stone appears and leads them to fire spirit or something #and then transition into the next update and fire gets his pet a buff and more lore #b o o m #or they just give him a buff because of theming #they gave moon a legendary costume because of theming #or the next update is completely unrelated

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smouldring · 1 year

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@fellomenking unparalleled rage.

#✢ miss merri crack crack crack.#fellomenking #|| yOU WILL GET YOUR REAL STARTED MOMENTARILY MY LOVE.#|| I JUST SAW HIM AND IT BLASTED ME BACK TO THAT DAMN BRIDGE.#|| MERRI VC IT'S BC YOU'RE ON THAT D A M N B R I D G E .#|| i'm moving this started to leyndell i'm releasing them.

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raichoose-gone · 2 years

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His phone is set to record, and now he’s pouring syrup all over the kitchen to demonstrate how he eats waffles. “SYYYRRRRUUUP -”

“How do you feel ten seconds after recording that video? When the cameras aren’t rolling, when it's just you, alone, surrounded by syrup? And who cleans all that, is it you? Do you wipe the countertop - scrub it hard, I presume? And all that on the floor ... Do you get on your hands and knees, on all fours, and wipe endlessly? Bow down, like you’re worshipping some god? One who certainly doesn’t look kindly on you? And when you try to get up, from those impossibly sticky floors, does your body stay, as if trapped in Hell?

I hope so.”

“There’s something wrong with both these dudes, but what’s wrong with the second dude is much more interesting.”

#okay it's FUNNIER as a video but i can't draw so -#no one knows what it's like to be the bad man ; to be the sad man. ( G U Z M A )#the first step of the cure. ( K A B U T O )#so i'm putting my defenses up. ( O C T A V I A )#(and im not using her human FC buuuut)#you found your place in the world tonight at the rock show. ( V )#but in rome do as the romans do. ( V )#you take the skyway. ( V )#welcome to the show. ( I C )#backwoods lullabies. ( A U D I O )#you make me smile. ( I C . S H E N A N I G A N S )

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halinski · 2 years

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koushirouizumi · 5 months

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{My Fam}

{DO NOT COPY} {DO NOT RE-POST} {DO NOT RE-PRODUCE WITHOUT PERMISSION FOR ANY USAGE WHATSOEVER}

If you want to use for referring to, PLEASE ASK ME PRIVATELY FIRST OR I WILL REFUSE.

#koushirouizumi fam #koushirouizumi ny #koushirouizumi personal #(YOU WERE NOT OWED THIS)#(YOU WERE NOT OWED THIS YOU WERE *NOT* OWED THIS *YOU!!! WERE!!! NOT!!! EVER!!! *OWED* THIS {JUST Saying})#(I'm posting these for MYSELF and because most of these come *direct* from our home fam album and to my knowledge)#(we HADNT put these anywhere else online but Y E A HHHH anyway 1st one here is my Grandma younger!!)#(ANYWAY when I talk about my fam end that is J E W I S H *these all* are *also* whom I'm referring to)#(THIS IS *NOT ALL OF THEM* THIS IS MAINLY *Great Grandma R*s {Grandmas mother's} {*MATRILINEAL*} J e w i s h line and those above her)#(Im leaving out Great Grandpa A. for now for privacy reasons but Great Grandpa A was married to Great Grandma Y. seen HERE)#(For the record Great Grandpa A. was 'a tailor' AND 'a dress maker' according to my Grandmas notes...)#(Grandmas fam + etc alive never received any hand me downs of any of these outfits so I can only assume they were either a. lost to time)#(or b. donated because my fam is big on donating in the modern era especially Grandma + Ethel + Mil were)#(Great Aunts Ethel and Mil were the ones I GREW UP KNOWING as Young Me before both passed away I HAVE PIC'S OF TINY ME W THEM)#(Mil lived to 90+ and passed away in her sleep when I was like 6~ or so so ever since then I was very aware of what death was)#(But like at least she passed WITHOUT {SUFFERING} and also Ethel is the one who was able to donate organs in her old age {also at 80~90s+})#(The elderly man holding my Grandma {who is a TODDLER whos barely walking here} is her Great Grandpa H. who got the WHOLE FAM OUT)#(OF THE AUSTRO-H U N G A R I A N controlled + related regions '''IN TIMETM''' pre *1899* and if it wasnt for this {J E W I S H}) man)#(I WOULDNT *BE ALIVE* MY DAD *WOULDNT HAVE MET MY MOM* I WOULDNT BE ON THIS PAGE MAKING *LITERALLY ANYTHING*)#(So before you open your mouth again to tell us 'gO BACK TO 1948 {AREA}' maybe ACKNOWLEDGE THEY LIVED ELSEWHERE TOO **BEFORE 1948**)#('But it should be SOOOO EASY to show us ALL the pic's of your fam theres NO WAY they could be in conditions like tHI--')#(LIKE IDEK HOW TO EXPLAIN THESE PICS ARE *LITERALLY PEELING OFF THE PAGE* {AND ALSO SURVIVED THE *CAT 5 HURRICANE*})#(In reality I REALLY wanted to post these at some point because I'm honestly amazed at some of these outfits)#(Basically I suspect Great Grandpa A. must have contributed a little with the {tailor} + 'dress making' 'career' but . . .)#(I also censored {most} faces for now but when I actually feel comfortable again I might go back and lift these)#(FOR NOW I am making this no rb but later I want to archive these elsewhere Anyway reminder this is 1 LINE of Grandmas 4 LINES)#(Basically that region 'Galicia' I was rbng refs for in relation? YEAH we LITERALLY have 'Galicia' marked on some of oldest documents AS It #(At one point fam also lived in il. and I assume the bottom right is from N.Y or there but I'm having trouble identifying sign + that area)#(So if someone can identify it and actually let me know PLS do so {also YES thats my Grandma too as baby})#(I did make one mistake labelling this H. is basically Grandmas Great?-Grandpa but I'm too lazy to fix how many 'great's for me)

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anqelbean · 8 months

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R-E-V-E-N-G-E is SUCH a good song I SWEAR if Taylor doesn't release it as a vault track for Debut (TV) imma RIOT.

#BUT I'M DRESSED TO KILL #AND TONIGHT I'M GOING OUT ON A DAAATE #WITH YOUR *BEST FRIEND*#HE ALWAYS LIKED ME ANYYWAYYYYY #R-E-V-E-N-G-E #MY LIST OF THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK #JEALOSY MISERY #WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU GAVE TO ME #MAKE YOU FEEL SO B-A-D #BREAK YOU MAKE YOU SO-O-RRY #I HOPE YOU CRY! I'M GETTING MY! R-E-V-E-N-G-E!#anqels ramblings #eva.txt #theo's going insane over taylor swift

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spring-lxcked · 8 months

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@muutos ( continued from here )

He had done it all—taken everything from Henry. Some parts intentional, most parts not. Like that rainy night outside the restaurant. Right place, right time. Just the right amount of resentment coating every thought of Henry. A rare decision made without much thought. But despite it all, he didn't even have the decency to tote around some smugness about it. ( Not yet. Not until his life was fully falling down around his head. ) It was simply a fact, a past action that would haunt their every interaction.

He was leaning back against the table, mouth pressed into a thin line. Sort of seriousness he rarely carried around Henry, certainly not when they were talking about them. Them—vague and complicated, and yet oh-so simple to William. Henry was his, he was Henry's. Didn't want it any other way, yet felt strangely that even now Henry held all the power over what they were.

He watched with heavy gaze, none of his incessant pushing making way yet. Watching Henry flounder and not stepping in. "I wasn't exactly an innocent party in all of it, Henry." Needless to say. But even that aside, he had had little issue charming his way under Henry's hands, married or not. Toying with emotions, lust, and anything he could get a tight enough grip on. "We both knew exactly what we were doing. I never needed any convincing."

He pushed off the table, stepping just close enough to reach out, to take Henry's face in hand and brush a thumb across his cheekbone. Gentle. No need to invade Henry's space anymore. He had a feeling he could coax Henry right into his arms if he was careful. "Well, I don't intend to leave you to go through it alone, if that's what you're asking." And the strangest part was how sincerely he meant it. I've put you in this place, and now I'll be the one to pull you out. Poetic, in a sense.

Ghost of a smile touched his lips. "So, if there's no getting rid of me, what's the point in denying how we feel?" Even if only in private.

#—— ✧ rp »#☆ —— verse ↳ s p r i n g b o n n i e.#muutos #˖ ✧ won't let you go » ( will/henry | muutos )#implied child death tw #implied murder tw #((let's pretend i didn't go crazy and have to IMMEDIATELY reply to this okay? okay))#((sorry this is so fucked and i'm. they're. help me))#((me @ william's thought process like what the FUCK are you talking about))

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yourgirlsfriday · 1 year

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#( I am many things; but I will not be the mother you were to me | Morrigan )#( it always ends in a f i g h t | james buchanan barnes )#( i was never my b r o t h e r' s keeper; only because he wouldn't let me p r o t e c t him | Edwardine Edy Munson )#( shining so b r i g h t l y even heaven can see my light | ellanora 'ella' lopez )#( books and cleverness; there are more i m p o r t a n t things like friendship; and bravery; and love | hermione adaeze granger )#( i'm clara oswald; i am the i m p o s s i b l e girl | clara oswin oswald )#( strong enough to do this on my o w n | jemma hayley rogers wilson )#( she was not fragile like a flower; she was fragile like a b o m b | petra beatrice parker )

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its-a-gold-song · 5 months

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fav npmd line deliveries

tehe yEAH

don't frighten them pokey you 𝔫𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔶 𝔟𝔬𝔶

what is she sayyingg...what the fUCK IS SHE SAYING

and his name. is Jee-Sus Christ.

oh shit! oh fuck!! i didn't think there'd be a skele'un here!!! I'm so fucking scared of skele'uns!!!

does it Feel like I Lost my Power??

it's a story of luhv......ffAMalehh......pAyushun.....bEEtrAyyall.

and with my luck no one will even B O T H E R making me their bitch...

fuckin' traanscendent

heahs the thing about a bãrbĕqüe

it brings folks together...from awl woaks of laif...there's a storé behand everyh burrghurr...everyh kahbahb...

but jesus never threw a football like yoou, mǍX

W E D O N T G I V E A S H I T A B O U T Y O U R P H O N E

for the first time... *insert a full minute of him flopping the zeke costume off* ...I feel like I belong :)

that ain't good news for youuYA BITCH.

this project is on thermodynamics. what the fûck are you talking about.

you're Killing Me is What you're Doing

naNI?!

any time jon says stÊF-A-nee

:(( had to sell your bowtie to feeed your fuckin' famly??

i love....jeEsus!

and of course:

ma'bAHBakew

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd #starkid #hatchetverse #starkid npmd #team starkid #bbq monologues #barbecue monologues

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fangirl-dot-com · 4 months

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Incorrect Quotes

all of these were from Pinterest - cause I'm not this funny (I also couldn't wait for the next chapter to come out so here :D)

Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated <3

TAG LIST IS OPEN! - 26 spots still open! (please send me a direct message to be added!)

Y/n: I’m cool Oscar Y/n: I’m THEE coolest Y/n: In fact, I was once arrested for being too cool *puts on sunglasses* Oscar: The charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence. Also, your glasses are upside down.

Y/n: I have a very specific type Max: Oh yeah? Like what? Y/n: Y’know…polite, handsome, athletic…that sort of thing Arthur (on his fourth energy drink of the day) tripping over camera wires and holding his mic upside down: you little shit eating, damned pathetic piece of shit – now you listen here Y/n: *heart eyes* that one. I want that one. Max: *flabbergasted*

Lando: bet you’re standing in the corner because you’re scared that you’ll get turned down if you talk to anyone Y/n: please, I could fluster near everyone at this party if I chose to Oscar: oh yeah? Prove it. Go for someone borderline impossible and I’ll believe you Y/n, approaching Arthur: hey dumbass, hoodie looks kind of cute on you, wanna get out of here? Arthur: WH- I MEAN- UHHHH YEAH SURE Y/n: perfect Oscar and Lando:

Y/n: I brought a red bull Max: I don’t want a red bull Y/n: I didn’t bring this for you. This is my red bull. Max: then why are you telling me? Y/n: It’s a conversation starter. Max: That’s a lousy conversation starter Y/n: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate *sips red bull*

Y/n: *gently taps table* Logan: *taps back* Alex: what are they doing? George: morse code Y/n: *aggressively taps table* Logan: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Lewis: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated Y/n: Killed without hesitation Lewis: nO!

Y/n: Is stabbing someone immoral? Mitch: Not if they consent to it. Max: Depends on who you’re stabbing. Christian: YES?!

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Y/n: Shit Logan: Wait, three? Cop: yeah? Lando: OH MY GOSH OSCAR FELL OFF!!

Max: Time for plan G. Liam: Don’t you mean plan B? Daniel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Y/n: What about plan D? Daniel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Max: What about plan E? Liam: I’m hoping not to use it. I die in plan E Yuki: I like plan E.

Christian: Did none of you think this was a bad idea? *Y/n, Max, Charles, and Arthur covered in navy and red paint* Y/n: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway.

George: (in sunglasses and newest Tommy Hilfiger jumpsuit) *in the most posh accent* I’m too good for revenge Logan: (covered in bug spray, cowboy hat and overalls on, pumped full of Bang energy drink and high on freedom) *cocks shotgun* Well, I’m not. Give me the name.

Arthur: So what’s your type? Y/n: Kinda long blond hair, green eyes, dumb, dimples, funny, really thin waist Arthur: Huh, that kind of sounds like me! Too bad its not me! Y/n: did I mention dumb? Arthur: yeah, why? Y/n: just making sure

*Over Text*

Y/n: Hey pretty boy, what’re you up to? :) Arthur: Eating cereal in bed Y/n: And what would you be doing if I was in bed with you? Arthur:…I would still be eating my cereal?

Waitress: And what would you like to eat? Y/n: I wish to devour the unborn Fernando: Eggs, she would like eggs

Y/n: Do you think that when sheep go to sleep they count themselves? Lando: Or do they count humans? Y/n: Ooo, that’s a good question Oscar: GO TO SLEEP

Y/n to Max: because I am a mature adult *turns to see Mitch, Christian, and Vito shake their heads* *turns back to Max* Y/n: I am an adult

*Dinner with Max, Y/n, Charles, and Arthur*

Y/n: The food is too cute, I can’t eat it! Max: Charles: Arthur: You’re cute, but I’d still eat y- Max: ONE DINNER Charles: *sighs* here we go again Max: ONE NORMAL DINNER IS ALL I ASK Y/n: Charles, this pasta is also crunchy, I truly can’t eat this

Ollie: Good night everyone Arthur: Good night Lando: Good night Oscar: Good night Y/n: good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Tonight, imma fight until we see the sunlight. Tik tok on the clock, but the party don’t stop Oscar: I’M DONE

George (t-posing in the doorway): Greetings, parental figures and sister figure *Y/n, Lewis, and Toto walking past* Toto (not looking up from his coffee): Good morning, problem child

Christian: You see, Fernando, Y/n is at the age where she only has one thing on her mind Fernando (noticeably excited): Oh! Oh! Oh! Boys? Max (looking over at the dead tired rookie with revenge in her eyes as she looks at Esteban): No. Murder.

Y/n: Hey Liam, want some of this food? Liam: Sure, thanks! Yuki (storming in with the anger of the gods): WHO TF ATE MY LEFTOVERS THAT CLEARLY HAD MY NAME ON IT Y/n: WE did Liam: You surprisingly smart little mf

Y/n: Never have I ever…Been grounded by my parents! Arthur (exasperated): Every time. She makes disownment jokes every time and she always wins Max: Good one Kid. I always go for the ‘never had a dad who supported me.’ Charles: *stands up and walks away*

Y/n: I’ve only said I love you to four people. Christian, Vito, Arthur, and Max when I thought he died after he wouldn’t respond after a DNF. I only regret one of those Lando: Which one? Y/n: Max. He was just pressing the wrong button and walked out a few minutes later. He made me look like an idiot. Max: I let you win next race Y/n: still

(Y/n, Logan, Lando, and George trying to sneak into RB for more energy drinks after being banned from drinking more)

Logan: So what do you think Y/n will do as a distraction? Lando: She’ll probably, like, make a noise George: Or throw a rock. That’s what I would do *The door flings open and smoke follows. Screams of mechanics fill the air as they try to extinguish a small fire* Logan:…Or she could do that.

Y/n: When I die, donate my entire body to science Y/n: Except my middle finger, give that to Esteban

(max and y/n in a horror movie)

Max: QUICK YOU’RE LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? Y/n (bleeding out): tall, male, brown hair, dimples, caring, supportive, Monegasque Max: BLOOD TYPE DUMBASS Y/n: oh Y/n: (looks down at wound) Y/n: red

Lando: I wish we could block people in real life. Oscar: Restraining order Y/n: Murder

Christian: Y/n, we need to talk about your professionalism for media days Y/n (and a lot of media personelle she rounded up, all standing on chairs): those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava

Y/n (to Max while hiding behind some tires – regretting everything): and then I called him dad Christian (to Geri – trying not to cry while cameras are everywhere): and then she called me dad

Max: Christian, look what Y/n got me for father’s day *holds up generic #1 dad mug* Christian (glaring silently while sipping from his own #1 dad mug) Max: that lying rookie Vito (holding a worn down #1 dad mug): you guys are late to the party suckers

Criminals: We have your daughter and son Toto: I don’t have a daughter and Jack is right here Criminals: then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwiches? Christian: dear God, you have Y/n and George

Mitch: So Christian, you and Geri want to be a parents again someday? Christian: Someday? We’re parents right now. Mitch: Y/n is your employee Geri: She is our BLOOD

Christian: Max is late again Kelly: I woke him up at 8 and pretended it was 11 Y/n: I wrote a fake schedule saying we were starting at 9 instead of 12 Lando: I changed his clock from AM to PM Christian: I think you may have overdone it Max (bursting into the garage): WHAT YEAR IS IT?

Y/n: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an energy smoothie...would it kill me? Logan: *shrugs* only if you die Y/n (getting out the blender): you're so smart Logan Max (running into the room): y/N STOP!

Lance: I got Netflix like you asked! Y/n: OH that's amazing! I've been mooching off Max's and Arthur's accounts for a while. This will be nice! Lance: Wait, what do you mean accounts? Y/n: Their Netflix accounts? Lance: Y/n: Like their profiles? I wanted one of my own, they're like $12 Lance: Lance:....Oh....You meant the account on the service... Y/n: Yeah, what did you think I meant? Wait...What did you buy? Lance: Lance:....Netflix...

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12

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yzashaven · 7 months

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2023 KINKTOBER︰10﹒01 / 10﹒02

꒰ —♡ B R E E D I N G ﹒ PART 1 ꒱

EVENT MASTERLIST !

FEATURING ! ayato, xiao, diluc, kuronushi x fem!reader

WARNINGS ! breeding obviously, shibari, some anal, cum overflow :0, overstimulation, praising, think that's all + VERY SHORT HELP

NOTE ! like only one of these were proofread LMAO anyway~ splitting this into 2 because i couldn't make the time to finish all 8 of the characters 😭 + THANK YOU FOR 700?!?!?! + sorry to those i couldn't tag :( and for posting this late omg

event taglist— @yukiitaooo @scara6 @peakalatus @kanaedd @returningluv @im-the-ruler-here @scarafixation @kateybuggi @hanni7 @asimpforpeople @ju1yyyzzz @saturnsapothecary @alexiassleeping @cheeze-noo @supercoolusernameomg @shining_dhei @uchihaeirin @black-rxse @3herri-berri @anon-eu @gojoswife201 @abeitriz @chlebek1 @mechanical-lily @breadybuu @dawning-bliss @poisonedmoonl1ght @scaraismybbgreal @nothingfuninthislife @hellithides @eunchaeluvr @doumastip @pandash @cuntz0ne @zomzomb1e @bitchylillyrose @apocalypticchimera @wolfiafan10 @zxdksimpo

—KAMISATO AYATO

he's a very family oriented man, you're well aware of that, so of course it's no surprise that breeding is one of the commissioner's top kinks. even just the mere thought of filling up your cute little cunt with his seed is enough to drive him insane.

"you're gonna give me an heir, yeah? right, my love?" ayato seductively whispered into your ear as you tiredly nod your head in approval. he has been pounding into you nonstop for the past 2 hours or so, filling you up with his cum over and over again, making sure that it'll reach your womb. "you feel so good~ this is your reward for being such a good girl for me, so take it. take it all~" his thrusts begin to quicken, urging yet another orgasm for him and yourself before grabbing your ankles to bring your legs over onto his shoulders; allowing him to push his dick even deeper than it was already reaching previously.

"fuck—i'm sorry for pushing your limits, sweetheart, but i won't waste my chance in finally getting to breed you real nice~"

—XIAO

him being a yaksha and practically spending his whole life fighting; xiao never really got to know or experience much when it comes to intimacy. but god, the moment you stepped into his life, it became the thing he couldn't live without.

"o-one more, please..." he groans out, thrusting deep into you at a slow pace, his tip kissing at your cervix ever so slightly. your whimpers and pleas falling onto deaf ears as his gaze was fixated on the way your thighs trembled under his touch as his hands kept your legs spread wide just for him, drunk on the sight of his cock disappearing within your warmth with each buck of his hips. an obvious squelching sound could be heard along with the mix of your fluids overflowing from the sides, "if i pull out, it'll all go to waste, won't it?" xiao mutters out, pulling back until only the head of his cum coated cock remained, just to slam back inside and have you scream his name for the nth time that evening.

"this won't be enough, baby... need to fill you up some more~"

—DILUC RAGNVINDR

trust me when i say that breeding is one of his top kinks, probably around the top 3, i'm sure of it :3 he just adores how pretty you look taking every single drop of his seed; the way you look so perfectly fucked out is enough to bring another feeling of euphoria to him.

"m-my love, so pretty~" diluc's eyes were focused on your trembling figure beneath him, cunt already completely full of his cum yet he's still pumping more and more inside for 'good measure' as per his words. "i know you're tired, i'm sorry—you feel too good for me to... pull out-ah~" the sensitive head of his cock kissed all the deepest parts of you with ease; giving you so much more pleasure, along with the way he was constantly pushing his cum back inside further.

"...so perfect for me, my good girl~"

—KURONUSHI

shibari. his specialty, his favorite. he decided to try a new position instead of the usual mating press you two did; having you situated on the bed with your ass up and face buried in the pillows while your wrists were bound by a red ribbon behind your back.

"that's it, keep moaning for me like that~" kuronushi coos, hips slamming against your body as his cock thrusted in and out of your ass at a steady rhythm, fingers rubbing roughly at your swollen clit, continuing to drive you over the edge. "fuck—your voice truly is the best instrument~ and your moans... the most majestic melody i've ever heard~" he says in between uneven breaths before finally cumming inside you, abruptly pulling out and pushing into your already filled to the brim cunt, a dark chuckle escaping his lips upon hearing you moan at the sudden entrance.

"just made sure to fill up both of your holes, love~"

#♡.･ signed by yza ✰°｡⋆#♡.･ occasions ✰°｡⋆#genshin smut #genshin x reader #scaramouche smut #scaramouche x reader #kuronushi smut #kuronushi x reader #ayato smut #ayato x reader #xiao smut #xiao x reader #diluc smut #diluc x reader

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fontvine · 8 months

Note

nsfw alphabet for neuvillette?

￫ NEUVILLETTE NSFW ALPHABET !

A = aftercare (what they're like after sex)

very tender and intricate lover after sex - neuvillette overlooks your body to make sure he hadn’t left any marks that you’d find distasteful or painful

B = body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

on himself, he’d have to choose his neck - while it may sound odd, he has yet to find a part of himself as sensitive at it, so he takes pride in the feelings you can draw out of him with a simple nip or kiss against his throat

on you, neuvillette loves your hands - how dainty they look pressed against his chest or compared to his own, and the feeling of them tangled in his long locks or lightly trailing over the tendrils of blue within the sea of white

C = cum (anything to do with cum basically... i'm a disgusting person)

with the limited knowledge he has on humans and their sexual tendencies, he does know of procreation, so his favourite thing to do is fill you up until your stomach bloats

D = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he gets off on tears - he himself knows how many emotions can cause tears; sadness, anger, happiness… and pleasure, and he wants to see you sob for him

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

little to no experience - neuvillette hadn’t truly indulged in mortal endeavours until he had met you; you had introduced him to romance, love, and all the intimate parts that come with it

F = favourite position (this goes without saying)

neuvillette loves cowgirl since while you’re still on top of him, he controls the pace - not only that but it gives the both of you something to grasp and hold onto (your ass/hips, his shoulders, etc.)

G = goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

emotions are still complex to him and so far he’s only learned how to express passion and desire during your bedroom escapades, so “goofiness” in the bedroom is beyond a foreign concept to him

H = hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

neuvillette has quite the head of hair on him so he grooms often - he prefers to be clean shaven or at least with limited hair on his pelvic area

I = intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

serious yet delicate - neuvillette takes sex with you as a moment for him and you to be completely open to one another and to feel the other for what they are truly (aka he’s a passionate and loving man)

J = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

nope, never, will not - neuvillette feels guilty for touching you in a sexual way in general, so touching himself to bring himself pleasure in any capacity makes his head spin and cheeks burn with guilt

K = kink (one or more of their kinks)

marking, breeding, hair pulling - while a gentle lover, he likes to indulge in his more monstrous desires and encourages you to do the same with him

L= location (favourite places to do the deed)

bedroom first and foremost since there he can rest assured that both of you are comfortable, but he has fucked you over the desk in his office as well as over the railing in the opera epiclese

M = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

letting himself be completely open is what drives him the most - he, in general, is not the most open person in teyvat, but when he fucks you, he is able to show parts of him only reserved for you to see

N = NO (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

hurt you physically and or emotionally - while the former’s boundaries can be pushed the slightest bit, neuvillette takes no pleasure or satisfaction from bringing you pain, so it’s a hard no from him

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

isn’t the best at giving (he’s learning though), but adores when you give him head - it was a shock to his system at first at the new information regarding sexual activities between mortals, but he’s come to love it to the point where he requests it when he’s feeling needy

P = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

his pace is slower but his thrusts are deep and hard - cock stroking your gummy walls and nearly kissing your cervix with every movement of his hips

Q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

he hates quickies - he’s rather be able to enjoy you to the full extent of the moment (he however is not opposed to a quick blow or him going down on you when the moment calls for sexual gratification)

R = risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks?)

not one for experimenting unless you suggest it and tries to stay away from risks (however, he hates to admit the two of you have been caught by furina more than once from the small risks you have taken together)

S = stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long?)

he can go for round upon round, but stops when he senses you’re at your limit - he, after all, is not mortal so his stamina is seemingly endless compared to you own

T = toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

very foreign concept to him that he honestly does not want to delve into - he wants to be the sole bringer of pleasure to you and would like if you do the same to him

U = unfair (how much they like to tease)

not a very teasing lover - unless you ask for him to drag out your climax, neuvillette prefers to stick with the more simplistic and kind side of himself in bed

V = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

he’s a loud grunter - neuvillette rarely gets too vocal with you and even keeps most words to himself aside from the light praise and loving words

W = wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

bathtub / shower sex is a hit with him - and if he has a secluded place outside of the walls of your home, he’d fuck you when it’s raining upon the two of you (his overwhelming pleasure only making the downpour all the more intense)

X= x-ray (let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

neuvillette has quite a long and girthy cock - i’d say around 8-9 inches with thick veins running along the underside of it

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he lies to himself and says he only desires sex when you do, but the thought of having you wrapped around him or having the taste of you on his tongue runs through his mind on the daily, even during court trials

Z = ZZZ (…. how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

as a being that doesn’t require much sleep, neuvillette holds you until you fall asleep and will sometimes pretend to fall asleep so you feel content enough to fall asleep yourself

#⌕ ⋮ alphabet.#genshin x reader #genshin imagine #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact smut #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette imagine #neuvillette smut #genshin impact #neuvillette

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absurduty · 2 months

Text

SAINTLIKE | AEMOND TARGARYEN X READER

a b r i d g e m e n t : when you, now a Lannister, return to King’s Landing, Aemond ensures you won’t leave.

TW: smut, groping, mentions of anal, penetration, oral (fem receiving), degradation mixed with praise???, creampie, breeding, slight cum eating

CREDITS FOR THE AEMOND PICTURE TO ultravi0l3t on Pinterest!

TAGLIST: @toodlesxcuddles , @imsoshygirl

“Gods, Helaena,” you sigh softly, spraying your perfume on your dress. your slender fingers continue to spray it on your neck, behind your ears and the inside of your wrists. “It feels strangely comforting to get away from all that gold up in Casterly Rock.”

“I’ve missed you, sister.” she said in response, sitting on your bed with her eyes focused on her sewing. "But Aemond missed you more.”

“I'm sure he did,” you say softly, biting your cheek to prevent a smile from spreading. your eyes flickered to the bed Helaena was sitting on. the chambers Aemond had snuck a thousand times in to get some comfort to sleep. “Do you have any-"

“The dragon eats the lion,” your little sister suddenly interrupted you, looking up from her sewings. “The lion is blinded by pride, but the dragon is blinded by rage.”

you dropped the perfume on the floor, dumbfounded by Helaena's interruption.

“Come again?” you asked softly, careful as to not undermine her. you knew better than to undermine her sayings after the time she proclaimed Aemond had to close an eye. “What are you talking about, sweet sister?”

she only hummed, and sprayed some perfume to the back of your knees as you lifted up your dress.

"I will see you at supper, sister." she dismissed your question with a gentle tone, standing up.

you bid her goodbye, your confusion present to what it meant. However, you shook it off. Your boys were with the Septa, Aemond was practicing his swordsmanship, Aegon was doing god knows what...

you readied your hair again, making certain the curls at the bottom were luscious enough. you then headed out to the halls, your flat flootwear tapping against the ground with each step you take.

“Aunt y/n!” you heard a masculine voice call out, causing you to turn your head at the voice. you recognised the two brown-haired princes instantly.

“Nephews,” you smile warmly, embracing Lucerys first. you rubbed his back and asked him how he was doing, to which he delightfully replied that he’s officially betrothed to Rhaena.

you rise up again and turn to the eldest, Jacaerys. you could have sworn you saw him blush, but you knew better than to act as if you know the truth. you engulfed him into a hug, your scent rubbing off on him. “How have you been?”

he blinked twice, his mouth slightly parted at seeing you again. “Good, auntie.” he said softly, attempting to stand tall and noble.

“Good.” you nodded respectfully, trying to brush them off politely. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some urgent business with your mother.”

they both nodded, and scurried off to the courtyard, you knew that if you mentioned you’d be visiting your dear brother’s chamber, all you’d hear are subtle sighs of annoyance and whines disguised as uncertainty.

you treated down the grand halls again, finally reaching his chambers. there were no guards, strangely enough, and you took the liberty of opening the door, entering, and shutting it behind you.

“Sister.” his voice startles you, causing you to turn around. “What brings you here?”

“Aemond,” you smiled, trying not to let your eyes flicker to his tunic less form, stepping a few steps closer to look him up in the eyes. “You are attending supper, are you not?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked gravelly, his hands sliding down to the small of your back. you tried to avoid it, but you felt a small sense of arousal affecting your thoughts. “After all, nothing more than a supper with… family.”

“Aemond,” you whisper, as if he had just said a sentence condemning the gods. “No matter how you think about it they are still Rhaenyra’s. Half Targaryen.”

“Is that what she told you after you confronted her?” he asked huskily, his hands sliding down to your hips. “That her fucking a strong was just, and that they’re still half-fucking-Valyrian?”

“Aemond, stop,” you say in a hushed tone, feeling his other hand run across your stomach area, covered by the dress, unable to feel your full breasts due to the material of your dress. “We shouldn’t. My lord husband-”

he broke off your sentence by pressing his lips upon yours, his tall figure looking over you as if it was a shadow, your face in his hands as if it were a precious gem needing to be cradled.

“Your craven of a husband is out fucking whores, not seeing the absolute fucking beauty he has in front of him,” he murmured between kisses, his slender hands working to unbutton your dress. “But it’s fine, I suppose. You were meant to be mine anyways. Meant to be carrying my children.”

you tried not to kiss back, you really did, but his hand crept up the second your dress was dropped, and kneaded your breasts. then he took advantage of your little gasp as to slip his tongue inside. you let out soft moans, your hand flying to his hair.

“Perfect, rōva mandia,” he coos, his hand once again switching positions to rub at your asscheeks and hips. “After 4 sons, you've remained sensitive. That cunt of a Lannister must have not pleased you enough, has he?”

the only thing you could do was shake your head, placing little kisses on his neck and face which in all honesty, were adorable to him. your eyes looked at him so purely, yet he couldn’t see you as anything other than a vixen born to seduce him.

“Be a dear and show your little brother what he has missed,” he whispered in your ear, and you obliged rather quickly, crawling onto the bed, your tight little back-hole showing for him.

“Hm,” was all he said as he took his time stepping, coming to rub one of your ass cheeks as he took a look at your tight asshole. “We'll have countless nights to do that.”

you were about to open your mouth, before he tenderly turned your body over, leaning in to lick the corners of your lips, purposely drooling some of his saliva into your mouth.

“The gods have made us be together, for they know how we belong.” he murmured in between planting kisses on your jaw and throat. “You belong in black and red. I’ll give you the gold anytime you desire it.”

you grow even wetter at his words, pushing your hips up to rub yourself against his already rock-hard cock prominent through his breeches. the feeling did not last long, as one of his hands moved from gripping the sheet next to your head, to pinning your hips down.

“Oh, do you desire me now, rōva mandia?” he whispered, brushing your nose against his. “I’ve grown, sister. I am a man now. A man worthy of you.”

his lips kissed the top of your breasts, before latching onto your nipple, swirling his tongue around it while he kneaded and pinched the other with his hand.

“Ae-aemond,” you whine, your eyes trained on his bulge. you looked up at him and you couldn’t look more possibly beautiful than now. “Fuck me, please.”

“Patience, sister,” he rubbed your stomach, his other kneading your tits. you whined but quickly stopped once he brushed some hair out of your face. “You’ll be given my cock, but beforehand I'll have to taste your sweet essence I’ve been thinking about for years.”

“Aemond, I need it,” you begged him, rubbing your foot all over his crotch to rile him up. “I need you.”

he only let out a satisfied hum, kissing each toe and trailing up to your calves, knees, thighs up until his big hands spread them apart.

you remained too aroused to properly function, letting out a deep breath when his tongue only took one lick of your folds. what followed after was his thumb rubbing your sensitive pussy, having you let out fast breaths.

“Are you not used to having anything other than your husband’s cock touching your cunny?” he asked mockingly, placing a kiss on your wet folds. “Of course not, my sweet sister deserves to get fucked like a whore, and treated like a princess.”

you let out a whine at his words, practically thrusting your hips into his face. he licked at your folds and used the muscles of his tongue to fuck into you pleasurably. he let out a few grunts himself as if he was tasting the sweetest essence ever known. his hand rubbed up and down your thigh as you wrapped them around his head.

he continued tongue-fucking you, occasionally stopping to suck on your sensitive bud, his big hand continued to caress and massage your thighs, slurping up your sweet taste. you let out the most melodious moans he has ever known.

“Valonqar,” you moaned out, thrusting your hips against his face. he sucked and swirled his tongue against your clit. your muscles clench around him tighter and tighter, feeling something build up in your stomach. your body tensed up as his tongue gave his final thrusts.

“Come for me, rōva mandia, come hard for your brother,” he murmured, his tongue making his final trust on your stimulated clit. “Scream my name.”

you finally bursted, your orgasm washing over your. half of the juice shot down Aemond's throat and the other half drooled down his chin. he eagerly slurped up your juices, before rubbing his cum-covered chin against your breasts, rubbing the cum off on your breasts.

“My sister, my love,” he coos, kissing the shell of your ear. “The best woman to give my cock to.”

he got rid of his breeches and pulled out his hardened member, throbbing with pre-cum. he let out a soft hiss as it rubbed against your entrance, teasing you endlessly.

“We should stop,” you say softly. “Anyone could come i- ah!”

you let out a gasp as he began to began to circle your sensitive button with the tip of his erection. his hands were placed on your waist, pinning you down.

“Let them,” he murmured close to your lips, his unoccupied hand coming up to trace his thumb over your bottom lip. “Let them see how a dragon has claimed another dragon. As it should be.”

you moan loudly, feeling him push his fat head into your throbbing pussy. his cock was much better than your lord husband’s, thrusting slowly into your tight heat. his face cane close again to plant suck and kiss on your jawline, holding your face to the side.

“My sister is too beautiful,” he murmured in between occasional quiet grunts, feeling you deeper with each trust. “The only cunt that’s perfect for me.”

he could feel you tightening around him, your sweet eyes looking up at him. his one eye met yours, locking eyes intensely. your gasps and moans, accompanied by clapping sounds lingered around the room. his hand creeped down to knead your breasts, brushing a thumb over your hard nipple. his hips went upwards to thrust deeper. he could hear those telltale cries of ecstasy, and basked in it.

“You wish for me to put a babe inside of you?” he asks mockingly, rubbing your cheek against his hand. “Of course you do. You’re mine, and once that husband of yours knows his place, we will be wed.”

you clenched around him, juices already wetting his cock inside of you. your eyes roll to the back of your head as his hand rubbed your clit. you looked up at him once again, and he looked majestic and vulgarly gorgeous. his hair sticking to his forehead, not as straight anymore now that it’s wet. you were a sight for sore eyes to him as well, your dark hair messy and disheveled, your cheeks red and your neck scattered in hickeys.

after a few moments, you came undone, spilling against his cock. not soon after, he slowed his thrust and shot his load inside of you, a part of him forever embedded within your womb.

“Too beautiful,” he murmured, planting kisses all over your breasts and collarbone. “You have been mine since we were children. You were meant to be my betrothed. Tis I who has always loved you.”

you only smiled, but even that made his heart flutter and his cock twitch. he slowly engulfed you into a kiss, slipping his cock outside of you.

“My children have taken a liking to you,” you smile, rubbing your nose against his. “I’d love for you to stay by our side.”

“Which I will do,” he replied, his big hand rubbing your stomach. “After all, they ought to meet one of their own.”

you were about to attempt to stand up on shaky legs, but his veined hands cupped your face and slowly pinned you back down.

“Do not clean yourself up, rōva mandia,” his melodic voice ringed. “Let us depart to supper with my seed, deep inside of you. The bastard might realise how little chance he makes with you.”

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