#I'M FUCKING SCREAMING ARE YOU JOKING

[theminecraftbee]

okay so. hear me out. but. au concept--

joel is one of many people affected by a Vanishing. its a phenomenon sweeping the country--people simply not showing up for work, school, life one day, as though they've vanished from the face of the earth. it's almost possible to mistake for normal missing persons cases, if it weren't for the way a few of the higher-profile Vanishings have happened to people who shouldn't have been able to vanish at all, let alone in a way that wouldn't be noticed until too late. look at joel's hometown. the people monitoring the dam were supposed to be redundant, and yet--

anyway. not like he cares or anything, except for the fact this stupid disaster or whatever has left him without anywhere to live or anyone to live with, and he still has a year of high school left, so he can't just do whatever he wants. luckily there's this school in a town called new hermiton that agreed to give him a scholarship to finish his education in the name of recovery and solidarity or whatever, and it's kind of a shwankier school than he'd normally go for, but it's free and, more importantly, they're willing to pay for his lodging, and he can't really turn that down. and it's not like he has a choice but to upend his entire life now. so packing what few of his belongings survived into a bag and getting on a train and moving across the country to a new school it is, he guesses.

(he's been having nightmares that inexplicably feature swarms of blue butterflies. last time he checked, lakes don't have butterflies in them. although maybe it's a metaphor or something, on account of the butterflies saying stupid stuff about how people who are remembered can't disappear, and even a false world cannot be erased if it's watched over, and how fate depends on him holding people in his heart. thanks for saying the same stupid shitty platitudes his social worker told him, just more cryptically, butterflies. real cool.)

new hermiton, it turns out, is a small city. while new hermiton academy is a newer school, much of the city is older. he's moved into a nice enough flat in an older apartment building. he has another cryptic butterfly dream. he thinks he remembers someone trying to urgently warn him of something, but it's all... shaky. that morning, he goes to the school for the first time. he's greeted by a fellow transfer student, skizzleman, although apparently he already knows some of the other folks in town, and transferred here so he could stay with them. but it's at least someone else in a similar enough situation to joel, especially since joel can just tell by the way people are looking at him that skizz didn't have much of a choice but to be here, either, and best friends with impulse or not, he's on his own too.

so. a friend. maybe this school won't be that bad, even if joel keeps having nightmares, and even if the weather here is weirdly cold for july, and even if his new homeroom professor keeps on looking at him really weirdly. (aren't professors supposed to be better about stupid rumors anyway? what's that mr. hills's deal?)

and then, two days later, he waves skizz off at the end of the school day, and gets skizz's friend, impulse, at his door, desperate to hear that skizz had just come to stay the night in joel's shitty lonely apartment, because otherwise it looks like--come on man. joel's already having a shit time. the universe deciding to go after his one existing friend too? he promises impulse to help investigate that night, in the vain hope that Skizz isn't one of the Vanished. joel gets a splitting migraine trying to follow their path back, though, and they have to stop for the night.

skizz is reported missing the next morning. joel resigns himself to cutting himself off from the people around him, as per usual. then, strangely, mr. hills corners him as he goes home.

"you'll need this," he says, and shoves what feels like a cheap butterfly knife into joel's hands. "uh, remember, trust your heart! you'll know how to use it."

"what," joel says. "hold on. you're supposed to be a teacher. why are you giving me this. i know for a fact my file says i have like, ptsd or whatever, which is stupid, but you definitely aren't supposed to be giving me a knife, you weirdo?"

"you'll know how to use it," joe hills says again. "goodbye! believe in yourself!"

mr. hills sprints behind a building before he has to explain anything else. joel is left standing on the sidewalk holding a knife, staring after him.

so. that's weird as hell. joel shivers in the cold and continues on his way home. the butterfly knife feels heavy in his pockets. he should probably report that guy to his social worker or something, but actually talking to his social worker feels like conceding defeat. joel can take care of himself. he can prove he can take care of himself. just watch him. step one: go out to get ramen because he forgot to buy any food for his apartment.

he sees impulse putting up signs as he eats. impulse looks miserable. joel thinks about how skizz, just in the short time he'd known him, had sort of unintentionally given away that he felt isolated after his mother Vanished. that impulse was a great friend, but impulse didn't understand what it was like. he never really SAID as much, but--

it's not fair to impulse, for that to be the last thing impulse remembered of what was apparently a friend since childhood. and joel doesn't care about any of these guys, but he can still pay his check and go out and help impulse go looking. he's no good at comforting people and doesn't know this guy, but joel had been alone too, sitting on the roof and crying, when the helicopters came.

except when they go back to the path by the school, joel's head starts to hurt again.

he looks up and there's a butterfly.

"hey, impulse, are butterflies common here?" he asks, a little desperately.

"i mean, not really, why?" impulse says.

"uh," joel says, and gestures. the two of them stare as the strange yellow butterfly circles in place.

"okay, so that is kind of weird," impulse admits.

"right?" joel says. "the only way it would be weirder is if it were blue." impulse gives him a look. joel does not explain.

it starts to fly away.

"we should follow it," impulse says, his voice getting a little dull. "yeah. we should follow it."

"what? no! no we should not follow the haunted butterfly, are you nuts?" joel says, but it's a bit too late. (maybe this is what the knife is for: stabbing impulse. it would be an effective method of stopping him!) he chases impulse down, down to the river, where yellow butterflies are swarming. impulse, as though possessed, simply steps into the swarm and falls through them to the water.

joel's, uh, freaking out more than a little bit? he'll admit he's freaking out. he dives forward to try to grab him, only to realize that he doesn't see impulse anywhere.

a single blue butterfly lands on joel's shoulder. "do you hold his heart next to yours?"

"i'm going insane," joel says.

"no heart is meant to be completely alone. do you hold his next to yours?"

"this isn't happening," joel says. "this is like a stupid manga or something. it's not happening."

"there is still time to save them; you must hold your heart strong, or the consequences will be dire. i believe in you."

the butterfly vanishes.

"fuck it," joel says. "if i drown then it's nothing people haven't expected of me anyway."

he steps through the swarm of butterflies.

that night, he drags both impulse and skizz out of the river. they're all freezing cold. shadows and strange, yellowy liquid still cling to all of their skin. also, joel stabbed himself, which like, glad to know that's what the knife was for, apparently, and the scar is warm and comforting. he can feel his--persona, and don't ask him how he knows that--shifting under his skin, under the mark on his hand. it said its name is pygmalion; it says it is a piece of joel's soul.

this is all patently insane. but skizz and impulse are alive and NOT eaten by shadow monsters, so even if they're both a little unconscious, joel takes that as a win.

they lie on the ground outside the river. someone stumbles across them. "well give me some teeth and call me an alligator. you got out on your own," breathes a fellow student clutching a dagger. joel thinks he's in the class across the hall. also--

"what are you talking about," joel wheezes.

"you found it on your own. you can find them?" the student says. his eyes are wide. something in joel's soul recognizes something in the student's. something in joel's BRAIN puts two and two together and realizes why mr. hills gave him a knife.

"no. no, go away, i don't want to be involved in this," joel says.

"well, don't you think it's too late for that?" the student says, and joel passes out. he's pretty sure the butterflies have to be laughing at him. in fact, as though to mock him further, after passing out, he doesn't even get to avoid it forever, because he wakes up in a glowing blue boat. there is a man with white-blonde hair, blue eyes, and a blue outfit leaning over him, poking him.

joel takes no responsibility for punching him. he'd do it again, too, as the long-nosed man sitting next to the unmanned steering wheel welcomes him to the velvet room.

(this, joel realizes later, all rather sets the tone for what the next year of his life is about to become.)

#hermitcraft #joel smallishbeans #smallishsona au #THAT'S RIGHT BABY ITS THE PERSONA AU I WAS WAFFLING ABOUT #because i'm playing p3re right now this is pretty p3 inspired but also expect elements of p4 (my fav) and p5 #i. do not know enough about p1 and p2 to be using all these butterflies but FUCK IT WE BALL. #a bee fic #KIND OF I GUESS I'LL PUT THIS THERE. #anyway the idea is that this au is half a crack au and half DEEPLY SINCERE #because the JOKE is that joel hates every minute of being a persona protagonist #but the OTHER bit is that joel is genuinely an extremely loyal guy who would do VERY WELL as a persona protagonist #you just have to drag him there kicking and screaming #(sort of in a very. p3-esque way)

[shima-draws]

Listen I love Pokemon so so SO much. Like so much. But I do want to say in terms of design it’s REALLY gone downhill;;

There’s definitely a lot of really sick designs in Gen 9 that I can’t really nitpick at too much because compared to what we could have had they did a good job with them.

But then we have Dunsparce.

I want to talk about Dunsparce in particular because of its evolution. I know a good handful of people have wanted to see a Dunsparce evolution for YEARS now, and for good reason: It’s a very forgettable Pokemon. A normal type one stage that shows up briefly in Generation 2 (which, sadly, is a generation full of forgettable Pokemon) and barely anywhere else. SO if we take that and look at some other really neat Gen 2 evos we got in Legends Arceus and SV--like Wyrdeer and Farigiraf, for example--you’d THINK that they’d come up with something equally as creative and unique, right?

NO.

LOOK AT THIS.

THIS IS DUNSPARCE.

NOW LOOK AT THIS.

THIS IS DUDUNSPARCE.

WHAT THE FUCK.

It looks the same. IT LOOKS THE EXACT SAME. It just has another segment and a thing on the tip of its tail. You could mistake this for a powered up Dunsparce or a shitty take at a regional form. What the ever loving christ is this???

THERE WAS SO MUCH ROOM FOR POTENTIAL HERE. Instead they just said ah yeah let’s just slap some extra stripes on it and maybe give it a cool wingdrilll thing and move on. LIKE. BRO. THIS IS THE LAZIEST POKEMON EVOLUTION DESIGN I’VE EVER SEEN. THIS IS FUCKING INSULTING.

If you Google Dunsparce evolution, you’ll find WAY better designs made by creators not currently employed by Nintendo:

(@/woodenplank on Twt)

(@/mykemon_regions on IG)

(@/trainer_matz on IG)

THESE ARE SO MUCH COOLER??? Some of them even have an ouroboros theme which is SO sick and such a clever idea for a Dunsparce evo.

I’m just. I’m so salty. We could have had a sickass evolution but we were ROBBED

Anyway Nintendo shape up and hire these people to do your designs instead of whoever you have on staff right now that designed THAT abomination of an evolution

#[[ #EDIT: To everyone saying 'You're missing the joke! It's a joke!' #I KNOW it's a joke. I'm not stupid lmao #Doesn't mean I have to like it!! I paid $60 for this game and got this. I'm allowed to dislike it #]] #I'M SO ANGRY #WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT. #THAT IS THE SADDEST EXCUSE OF A POKEMON EVOLUTION I'VE EVER SEEN #GRABS A PILLOW WITH MY TEETH AND SHAKES MY HEAD LIKE A DOG #I'm so insulted by this. Who the FUCK designed that evo #It's so bad. It's SO bad #Pokemon #Pokemon SV #Pokemon Scarlet and Violet #AND WHAT KIND OF NAME IS DUDUNSPARCE. FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT ACTUALLY #SCREAMS INTO THE VOID #Nintendo you better shape up. This is garbage. I'm SO. AHGHHDSHFHGHH. #Dunsparce #Pokemon SV spoilers #Shima speaks #Okay rant over move along everyone

[pumpkinrootbeer]

Eugene was truly the best boyfriend. saw his girlfriend get broken up with, and immediately had a revenge glow up. Imagine being Cassandra seeing your ex girlfriend's boyfriend and he's wearing a golden choker with the just deepest v neck known to man, the world's sluttiest gloves, and a thigh garter. I'd have to give up then and there.

#Eugenes season 3 outfit you will always be famous #eugene fitzherbert #tangled the series #:v #He saw cass's hot catsuit and knew what he had to do #Also just to scream abt the series bc I just finished #absolutely crazy to me that they have set up since s1 that Eugene has pretty strong identity issues and it's never really addressed? #like s3 was low-key a mess I wish they just let cass be a villain don't have her be manipulated the entire time let her choose it at least #or like I'm fine with her being manipulated but I just felt like they didn't want to go to far with her character #and it made her feel kinda weak narratively #a lot just felt rushed #and I think we should have gotten a biiit more with eugenes identity issues #bc a lot of it in that episode was just a running joke #will say. #euegene/Rapunzel really carried that series they're relationship was the best written part #I would like cass more if they let her be a bit more unhinged #Her best moment was ''will you fight for him?'' #Like yess queen expand on that more #Need a whole episode of her kidnapping Eugene to fuck with Rapunzel #Also sorry you were worth fighting for is downright one of the most romantic lines in the whole show #Also it's so funny to me bc Rapunzel is so protective over Eugene like cass touches him and she's just #SHES MIIINE GET AWAY FROM HER IT'S NOT HER TIIIIME

[sandwichmustbetasty]

I should be writting my thesis, but I am once again plagued with Dragon Age brainrot.

VARRIC/HAWKE OH MY GOD. The sheer potential for angst, the longing the pining and the ever present question of Bianca. Blue Hawke would be a mess. He would totally stay in the fade - he already lost his family, Carver's doing good with Wardens, his friends have their own life, and Varric? Varric's fine. He always is. He always has Bianca after all.

And Varric's complicated and repressed feelings would just hit him straight in the gut the moment the first shock would fade. He's in love with Hawke, has been for so long.

And now Hawke is dead. And now there is nothing to be done about this stupid stupid feeling he cradled so close to his chest he didn't even realise it was there. Varric would not be doing fine. Oh he would repress everything again and try to be his old self, but he'd rather avoid Cole, thank you very much.

And without Hawke there would be no-one to call him out on his bullshit. Not that they were ever any good about talking about feelings.

But Varric would stay up in his room, staring at the wall, haunted by the memories of Hawke's smiling face, of all the late evening where they would stay up, snuggled close somewhere in Hanged Man, drunk and too tired to move, laughing at some stupid hardly funny jokes. He would realise with a stark clarity that there was nothing of Hawke in his possesion but those sweet, painful memories. There was no memento, no trinket, nothing. You bet he would find his pack (if he left anything in Skyhold or in the camp) and pull out some tattered red shirt and hold on to that for the rest of his life.

welp, now i'm gonna cry.

#no but i do believe in flemeth's 'prophercy' about taking a leap into the abyss #hawke lives #varric just hold on garrett will come back to you #just so you can be stupid and not talk about your feelings AGAIN 💀 #they will get it resolved or the others will take pity on them and just lock them in the closet or something #either way i'm living on few songs that are extremely varric/hawke coded and very not writting my thesis due 2 weeks from now #anyway #i love them your honor #varric tethras #dragon age 2 #hawke #garrett hawke #blue-purple hawke #varric/hawke #blue hawke #but purple hawke fits also #he would be making these terrible jokes how he just loves Varric and how Varric can't live without him #and they would both laugh and be like 'ah yeah good one buddy' and internally screaming 💀 #they're a fucking mess your honor

[queenofbaws]

i will not stand here and say the quarry's writing is perfect by any means, but man. that moment. in the beginning. when chris absolutely loses his shit and you see every last one of the hacketteers freeze..............shocked, wide-eyed, so taken aback they don't move even to look at each other.............

and then, realizing what just happened, chris scrambles frantically to grab hold of the situation again. he tries to grin at ryan ("tries" being the keyword), he tosses him the keys like nothing's wrong. he tries to go back to being mr. h - he does, he tries so hard - and finally when ryan talks to him, there's what waver in his voice. that absolute lack of understanding in his eyes. ryan's not just surprised, he's not just shocked......for a second there, he is scared, and chris sees that, realizes it, and peels out of there before anyone can say anything else. just.....

JUST............

i think that moment is 100% the moment i realized UH OH I THINK I LOVE CHRIS HACKETT because that's when we see the counselors have been around this guy for two whole months (some of them even longer, possibly), and not once. not once!!!!!!!!!!! had they realized who he really was.

ugh. UGH. i LOVE IT.

#queenie rambles about supermassive #dont even get me started on the flashback with him and travis in the station either #we as the audience like. ONLY see chris at his worst. from the beginning he's grumpy. he's vaguely suspicious. he's screaming into a car. #but the hacketteers SO CLEARLY have not seen him like that. not even once. even when dylan jokes about the sex dungeon... #you know it's tongue in cheek on his part - trying to get a response from ryan #i just. gfdi i know i always end up feeling the most attached to the characters with literally the least screentime of all but i love chris #i really really ReaLLY love the idea of this guy who puts on the happy wholesome corny dad face #only to turn around and be eeeeevery bit as unpleasant as the rest of the family turns out to be #AGAIN! THE SCENE WITH TRAVIS IN THE FUCKING STATION!!! #this is probably just because im replaying tq and getting back into writing #the hacketts #but fuck me. FUCK ME. the thought of mr. h and chris hackett being two very separate characters is just. so. good. #anyway i'm in a totally normal place re: my mental health lately. how about you guys.

[gregoftom]

i’m speechless

#WELL. I MADE IT TO THE SCENE. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. #tomgreg #succession #i actually am speechless like i had to keep pausing and taking breaths. #WHO SAYS THIS. WHO. UNLESS ITS A LOVE CONFESSION??? IT FEELS LIKE A LOVE CONFESSION. #A SORT OF LAST HURRAH BEFORE HIS LIFE IS OVER???? TOM????????????????? LOOK AT ME #LOOK AT ME. THIS IS??? LIKE. MY LIFE IS OVER SO I MIGHT AS WELL CONFESS I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR GIANT ASS???? SPEAK UP #screaming crying shitting pissing throwing up shovelling sand into my mouth in the hopes i suffocate on it #and the fighting after. is it. is he. is this how he thinks love has to be??? like. he's used to fighting with shiv so now #he thinks that if he's in love they have to fight?? i have too much to say and talk about i really. ugh. #and when greg says he doesn't want to tom gets upset #like it's a rejection #i honestly hate this so much #COUNTRY BOYYYYYYY I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUEEEGUhgnrgv #AND THEN I DONT WANNA EITHER IT WAS A JOKE!!!!!!!!! yeah. uhuh okay. #ik the nero sporus stuff is wack BUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER HELLO?????? HELLO. #but ''i'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat'' then do it pussy #sorry ik this is a novel in the tags but holy fuck. i gotta sit down seeya

[thepetesimp]

To be honest, seeing the audience's live reaction for the last BostonNick scene tells me everything I need to know about why their story ended up like it did.

#They were fucking CHEERING when he got dumped by Nick #Full on screams of joy #If I were Neo I'd be a little offended ngl #But he's a good kid and took it as a joke most likely #Idk I'm so upset still and it's been hours from the finale #Whatever I'll get over it #Justice for Boston #and justice for me who loves Nick and saw his character assassination on screen and lost it #That was NOT the same character who cried his eyes out over a simple “I missed you” #and I will never stop believing that #only friends the series #bostonnick #boston only friends #nick only friends

[yoinkschief]

ffuuCCKK my hyperfixations are hyperfixating again and it's that time where I get violently "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY INTERESTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" again

This is literally me right now, had to quickly whip out MSPaint to visualize my crippling feelings

I swear the next time one of my interests is brought up I'm making a youtube video essay script about it I need to get it out before I [REDACTED]

#y'ever get so violently autistic about your interests #like I'm gonna scream and climb the walls like a feral cat if I can't rant to you for the next 5 1/2 hours abut the Markiplier timeline #there is no need for that man to have made an edgy internet joke into an ENTIRE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE #AND NOW HE'S ONE UPPING EVERYONE BY MAKING A WHOLE ASS FAN MOVIE #Eddsworld should be ashamed of itself because this bastard pulled an entire professionally done movie out of his ass #while we sit here with a barely finished fan movie #no hate to the people who worked on it and put their heart and soul into it #animation is hard #but FUCKKK HE TOTALLY JUST SHIT IN OUR CHEERIOS #first the FNaF movie NOW THIS #He knows what he's doing #jay talk #fuck talk jay rants in the tags cause he treats it as a P.S. #not even P.S. #a whole seperate paragraph for a college style essay #I'm not kidding about the "making my autism + ADHD (AuDHD? Is that it?) hyperfixations into a YT video essay #I'm already making one about a show that doesn't deserve it

[orzaika]

My friend got me hooked on @exilethegame and I’ve played it so many times just to keep playing my Phoenix commander Emil Ryder :) he is so fucked up and broken and my whole experience has been “how can i make it evident that this poor man has been emptied out and broken beyond repair” and then the author ENABLES ME it’s the best thing i’ve ever encountered

#exile the game #the painted phoenix #my art #artists on tumblr #oc #i love my fucking guy so much #also being able to make him trans? i owe the author my life #he's just so fucked up <3 #and that one line about the commander's mother wondering how long it is until they're completely lost #shoveling this into my mouth #biting and screaming in a good way #he has more scars under his shirt btw i just didn't really include them #also lemme infodump about him a bit okay so he used to be full of life and joked around #but i'm playing him as presently being empty and just wanting to throw himself on a sword #like being able to tell Syfyn that he's tired and to just end it? THANKING HER?? #i'm insane. i'm biting him. i'm crying over him #the only thing he's living for at this point is the Main Group and his sister #and that's only until his mission is over (CURRENTLY!!!) #because by god i am going to make this about how life is hard and suffering exists at every corner but you have to keep going anyway #because life- and love- is worth it i'm #biting

[toomanywordsnllines]

What if Ghost wears his mask because, after all the torment his father rained on him... he got the nervous tic of smiling AND laughing...

He starts getting nervous and his lips start to twitch up into a smile.... He can't stop it. It just... happens

Someone can be brutality killed in front of him but because of his father, his lips just twitch into a smile instead of a frown or grimace. It doesn't reach his eyes so no one really knows it, but he feels disgusted with himself anyway. Smiling and laughing at someone suffering? "What kind of monster are you Simon?"

#like taking in count what i know of the comic his father does make him laugh at a dead lady #i also think he probably laughed too when nervous but he trained really hard out of it after... one quite terrible encounter #everyone likes to imagine he has gasglow smile scars right? #so what if he gained them because he was smilling uncontrolably while being tortured so they were just like: #'why not make it permanent' #hello hi yes :D i love making the blorbos suffer #am i projecting? a little #i do laugh/smile when I'm nervous sometimes #and it's the worst fucking feeling cus... you can't control like your face It acts before you think and it's hard to put it back to 'normal #BUT GOD #GHOST ASSOCIATES SMILLING TO ONLY TERRIBLE FEEELINGS/SITUATIONS #SO IMAGINE WHEN HE MEETS JOHN SOAP MCTAVISH #THE PERSONIFICATION OF A SMILE #imagine ghost learning through soap that it's alright that HE'S alright because he can't control it #and imagine that because of soap he starts smilling besides when he's nervous #he starts getting genuine ones at Soaps stupid jokes #and the day he laughs??? he hasn't laughed in so long he subconsciously stops himself #but soap is just looking at him stars in his eyes 'please do that again' #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH screams into the voide the things these two make me think about #cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty ghost #call of duty soap #(he's in the tags BUT HE'S HERE) #simon ghost riley #john soap mctavish #ghoap implied in the tags #manyrambles

[running-in-the-dark]

just now realising that it's kinda weird that every damn thing I did as a kid, even accidentally, still gets dragged out all the time as proof of how mean and bossy I was.

meanwhile one of my brothers stabbed my other brother with a screwdriver and it's just so funny. one of them jumped on my back when we were fighting and hurt me so bad that I couldn't get up for an hour (and I got yelled at). one of them broke someone else's property on purpose and it's just a funny anecdote about how he and his friend had to pay for the damage. they stole cash and very expensive alcohol, so funny and cute. they got drunk all the time and started smoking at 12.

which is all fine. people do stupid things as kids. but it sucks that I'm always the difficult one, the one that causes trouble, the mean one. the worst thing I ever did was drop out of school because I was too terrified and depressed to keep going. this is somehow proof that I was such a difficult child to raise, so hard to be around. not that my parents completely failed me in every way, or anything like that.

my brother attacked me this year. but that's totally excusable because surely he had his reasons (yeah, I disagreed with him and wouldn't back down. great.) and I probably just misunderstood (how?!) and anyway it wasn't really that bad. he yelled at me for daring to disagree with him, insulted me and then grabbed me when I told him to get out. but he's just having a hard time and can't express his feelings well and can't I just forgive him?

but I'm bad for things I did when I was 15 or 10 or 5 or literally a baby. I'm bad for things that never happened. I'm bad for things that other people did. I'm just bad.

#yes I am still bitter about this stuff #I wouldn't be. but they keep bringing it up #I'm so tired of not being able to do anything right #I've been so nice and patient and always friendly for literally. 10 years. a third of my life. I try so hard to not upset them or do #anything wrong #but my mother still says my brothers are scared of me #and uses things against me that I did in primary school #ugh #anyway #I'm having a hard time and keep thinking about this today #I'm just so tired of it #I can't even defend myself #because that gets turned into you can't take a joke and we're just joking around and why are you so angry #I raise my voice slightly to be fucking HEARD and I'm hysterical #my brother screams at me and he's just not good at talking about his feelings #it all feels so unfair #it doesn't matter what I do or who I am. I've been the bad one since my brother was born and I'm so tired #personal

[raylex]

I'm so sorry y'all have to put up with my larryposting but I swear this feels like I'm living through the first time I got a crush on him all over again 😭😭😭 I DON'T KNOW. WHERE THIS CAME FROM! I JUST

#I MUST SCREAM INTO THE VOID #yesterday I joked like I HATE LARRY and my friend said why would you lie to us. you adore that mf :) #AND IISDISDKSDKSDSNDAS NSABBDSDB (CLENCHES MY TEETH) #FUCK DUDE!!!! I *DO* DON'T I. #this world is so cruel cause NOW I'M SITTING HERE WITH A BIG STUPID SMILE ON MY FACE THINKING ABOUT HIM #self ship #mine #💚🪨 you're my rock! 🪨💚

[zincbot]

no fucking way

#scavengers reign #scavengers reign spoilers #(in the tags) #LEVI?!? LEVI?!? I'M GONNA SCREAM #i was like wtf are all these creatures doing with all these scraps #and then i saw the mold!! I'M SO HAPPY #i wanna see them... levi i love you #i was 100% sure they were dead for good i'm not even joking. like after seeing the arm get reattached i was like #'okay maybe the mold can rebuild them' #but then after pieces got washed away and 4 episodes passed i was like: okay yeah levi is dead dead #WE CAN REBUILD THEM. WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY #(the technology is mold) #also azi lesbianism win i fucking love women

[pa-pa-plasma]

i'm going to fucking kill someone. i got screamed at & called selfish & stupid for telling my mom to wear a mask. she gave me covid

#& you wanna know the kicker? she's going on a vacation. yeah. she's going on a plane right now while badly sick with covid #how do i communicate with people who are literally missing their brain? #it was my sister who screamed at me btw. she feels the need to play devil's advocate whenever i open my mouth #my mom did what she always does & coughed 17 times without covering her mouth & then sat down in the livingroom to doomscroll for 7 hours #what the actual fuck is it with parents & not covering their mouths when they cough or sneeze? they straight up just spray people with covi #& then laugh about it when you point it out as if spreading the fucking plague is funny #best part is that we're pretty sure her getting covid 5 times a year because she refuses to wear masks killed her husband #not joking about that btw. all she had to say oh ''ooh yeah that would explain it'' #like ?????????????????????? #i didn't get the chance to go grocery shopping either so now i dont have any fresh food #if i have to eat one more frozen or processed meal i'm gonna fucking kill someone. & now i cant do that because i have basic empathy #i don't even feel right ordering food cuz like. i have to interact with someone to do that (can't pay online) #i avoid covid for this long & then get it because ''people look at you weird if you wear masks. you wouldn't get it'' #bitch i'm queer. i wear queer pins. i wear a queer jacket. you're telling ME i wouldn't get receiving weird looks??? #god my sister wants to be oppressed so fucking bad. i'm sorry but bitch isn't a slur & you're a fucking coward for not wearing masks #i hope you cant fucking work for weeks because of this bullshit. bitch

[cruell-summers]

mexico city night 3 WON the surprise song race of the entire international leg. idc what happens next I can sleep peacefully every night knowing I was in the crowd when Cornelia Street/YOYOK happened. I'm never getting over this wtf

#taylor swift we forgive you for your sins (rwylm in santa clara) #IT'S JUST. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. #I HAD COMPLETELY GIVEN UP ON YOYOK #the first time she sang it i held hope bc she could repeat it #but when she sang it in LA i just knew it would be a while before she did it again #me and my uncle had an entire joke about how CORNELIA STREET was pretty much all we had left #all the time we were waiting to get in we were joking with other ppl about how we had to get cornelia street tonight #heck my grandma even prayed we would get it (i'm not even joking and the fact it worked is lowkey making me think there is a bigger force) #AND WE ACTUALLY GOT IT. AND YOYOK LIKE HOW TF DID WE GET YOYOK JUST. WHAT. #I GOT TO SCREAM 'I GAVE MY BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS FOR THIS' #IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I WAS BAWLING MY EYES OYT #I don't remember anything between yoyok and anti-hero bc I was crying so fucking much it was that bad #this was the best concert ever i don't think anything will top it #i'm gonna need like 9 years to process it #📀: lover #📀: midnights #🎤: taylor swift #cornelia street #you're on your own kid #yoyok #lover #midnights #taylor swift #the eras tour #the eras tour latam #swifties #cee speaks into the void #cee goes to the eras tour