#I'd really hoped to finally have a proper job - or any job

[hugemilkshake]

.....like can I send in a cookie run kingdom prompt thing? If so here is one...and I'd like this to be a one-shot plz! Also your writing with your other stories are good so don't stress too much about this! I'm sure you'll be fine! And if ya want feel free to ignore it.

So I got this idea while reading some self aware au fics...where reader is taken from the human world and brought into the cookie world.

The reader, a selfless workaholic, was working like always but then gets taken into the world of cookies! They were surprised they ended up in the cookie run world and decide to try their best in this amazing new world they loved, ready to work hard for the cookies to keep em happy and so on....buuuut that's when they discover how much the cookies love em. They start doing everything for y/n so that way y/n could finally rest and relax. You can go crazy with whatever scenarios you want of y/n trying to do stuff for the cookies buuut cookies stop y/n so y/n stops working or of cookies spoiling the hell out of y/n. Like cookies do their best to make sure y/n is happy, safe and relaxed. Also throw in whatever cookies encounters and stuff you want!

Hope you have fun with it and feel free if you don't feel up to it!

I hope you enjoy the milkshake! Now I might not be the best at writing self aware stuff since this is my first time writing it

Just relax

-self aware AU-

-platonic-

Part 2, part 3

Another long day of work… you rested your head before feeling a vibration from your phone. It was a coworker… asking if you could take their shift…. Again…

Ugh… did they not see that you were tired? But you couldn’t say no… you just couldn’t…

You had some time before having to return to work so you scrolled through the App Store until you came across a cute game franchise called Cookie Run. You decided to buy three of the games, the one that caught your attention was Cookie Run: Kingdom.

It was so charming, the way you could interact with the cookies and decorate your own kingdom was so nice, and in over a month you had gotten all the cookies and decors, which sounds a little crazy but this game was kinda like your escape from your job.

But with this you had gotten very very fatigued. You couldn’t remember when the last time you had a proper meal… or a full night of sleep… or when you saw your family last… or when you didn’t have to work… or when your friends talked to you last…

You were practically on the verge of breaking down, the only thing’s keeping you from going insane was the silly cookie games on your phone.

Now… you might’ve been going crazy but you swear that the cookies were talking to… like directly. It could be sleep deprivation making you hear things but it was still very odd.

But you might’ve hit a breaking point. You finally passed out. You had just gotten a notice that you were getting evicted from your apartment and you didn’t really have anything so all you did was clean up any trash that was left around, and by the time you were done it was midnight and your boss had the AUDACITY to ask you to do even more work… at that point you passed out. Either from exhaustion or stress it was probably both tbh

…

But when you woke up you weren’t in your apartment.. you were in a comfortable bed.. that had… candy like details…? You tried to get up and out of the bed but someone quickly jumped up and had you lay back down.

“Please son’t sit up too fast! You’re exhausted. You shouldn’t be moving too much, here let me get you some food, just wait here…” A gentle voice told you…. It was also familiar…

The person returned and set a tray right next to the bed, you saw that they looked familiar…

“I hope your not in any pain… I’m Strawberry Cookie by the way…” Strawberry Cookie spoke “Please just try to relax…”

You tried to speak but your throat hurt a lot… like to an unnatural degree.. but you were quite hungry so you decided to take a bite out of one the the star jellies i front of you. Now when you took a bite… something clicked in your head.

You thought you were dreaming but this felt way to real… the bed.. the food.. everything was too real.

And the realized you felt sore.. not just your throat hurt, everything hurt. You went to rub your temples but your skin felt less oily and more… doughy..?

You wanted answers and Strawberry Cookie was aware of this, so she started to speak once more.

“…I know your probably really confused about what’s happening and I am too… but it’s important for you to not get up and move around… your dough is still getting used to the temperature..”

Dough… what…? What was happening…?

“Just… please don’t stress to much… try to relax… please..?”

…

So you were a cookie now..

Interesting

Well it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be

I mean- you can’t walk and talking is a little difficult but you’re treated like royalty

Like you try to get up and do something and Strawberry Cookie has to guilt trip ask you to lay back down

But Strawberry Cookie wasn’t the only one who visited you

Gingerbrave, Wizard Cookie and Custard Cookie the lll visited you the most

Strawberry Cookie try’s to make sure your feeling alright and gets you food

Gingerbrave tells you what’s currently happening in EarthBread and, you kinda knew what was happening but hearing it more in detail was a little frightening

Wizard Cookie tries to understand how someone your age could have dough as soft as your- and by soft I mean dough like.

And Custard Cookie the lll just talks about how he’s going to be a great prince king and how fun some of the adventures he’s been on!

But out of all of them, the one thing they had in common was making sure you didn’t get up to do anything

You physically cannot do anything without someone making a fuss over it

It was actually kinda nice…

#crk #cookie run #crk x reader #crk self aware

[squippy360]

Just wanted to request Yandere Dark Dom Natasha with Depressed male reader because I'm fucking depressed right now. With fluff at then end (if you're okay with that and sorry if I bother you) I also can't figure out how it starts and how it end 😐

Natasha Romanoff x Depressed!Male Reader

Cw:(workplace harassment, sexual harassment, fluff, smut, praise, strap on, I hope you like it!)

You were just minding your own business at your workplace. It was your lunch break so, for once, you happily marched down to the break room. You had just got done with a whole bunch of work you had been procrastinating about and finally got it done so you could move on to all the easy stuff. You were actually enjoying your job for once…until a certain someone appeared. 

Another co-worker and my boss came into the break room. I happily took out my lunch and ate it. My boss came over and sat with me. We began to talk about small things as my boss waited for their coffee to finish making. He soon left after the beeping from the machine rang loudly in the air. They got their stuff and made their way to the door. The co-worker from earlier came over and sat near me. She struck up a conversation that started out talking about pets and animals, to our love life. 

"So, are you with anyone?" She asked. I smiled and stared down at my cup of juice/coffee/ect. "Yeah. I have a loving girlfriend." I said, daydreaming a bit. "Oh really? What's she like?" She said, scooting just a bit closer. I nervously squirmed a bit. "Uh…she's really nice and she takes care of me a lot. I really love her." I smiled a bit. She leaned over with a smirk and put a hand on my thigh, slowly moving it up. "I bet I could take care of you better~" She purred in my ear. 

I shivered and went to stand up. N-No thanks. I-I'm a l-loyal good boyfriend." I nervously said. She stood up and pinned me to the wall. "I want to make you my little lover~" she purred and bit my earlobe. I whimpered and tried to push her off of me but she was taller. "C'mon~ I'm sure I can get y-you to scream for me~" She teased. I flinched and broke away, running to the bathroom.  

I locked myself in and shakily got out my phone. I put a hand over my mouth and tried to steady my breathing.

"M/n? You usually don't call at this hour…" She said. "I-I know I don't get off for another 2 hours b-but I really need you right now…!" I sobbed out. "Hey, What happened? Are you hurt? Who did it? Please talk to me." She began. 

"A co-worker got to touchy with me…I wanna come home…" I whimpered. "Oh love, who is it?" She asked sweetly. "It's (C/w/n). The one who's married to Sammy…" I whispered. "Oh I see. Try and hold out for me, Love. I promise as soon as you get off, I'll be there for you, don't worry. You can talk to me until then." She said. "Ok…thank you…" I whispered. 

"So, what are you doing?" I asked as I stood back up to wash my face. "I missed you so much that I attached one of your shirts to my pillow and held it. You're just too cute. I couldn't help it. Everything reminds me of you." She admitted. I smiled sheepishly and blushed. "I just hope you won't mistake me for a pillow." I joked. "I would never." She chuckled. I heard shuffling on the other side of the line before I heard a door slam. "What was that?" I asked. "I'm going out to get some stuff." She answered. I pulled out my earbuds. I stuffed the wire in my shirt and stuck one bud in. "I'm going back to work but please keep talking to me. I feel like I'm going to pass out…" I breathed out. "Of course, Love. I'd love to hear your voice right now~" She hummed. 

I made my way out the door but stopped when I saw my boss. "Oh! S-Sorry boss. I-I was just heading back to my desk-" I got cut off by their hand. "Please. Take the rest of the day off. I saw what happened and I will make sure they deserve proper punishment and get fired. I have connections so they won't be working any time soon." The boss said with a smirk. "T-Thank you so much…!" I cried. They hugged me tightly and reassured me that this will never happen again. We went our separate ways and I got my stuff to head back home.

"So how are you feeling? Milk chocolate, Dark, or Milk and caramel?" She suddenly. I realized where she was now. "(Your option) please." I said and began my journey while partially listening to her tell me about her day and recent missions. We got 20 minutes into the call when I could hear her voice go lower and she started praising me quietly in my ear. 

"I wanna hold you so bad right now~ I wanna run my fingers through your hair. I want everybody to fucking know how much of a good boy you are for me~ All cuddled into me so comfortably." She whispered. I shivered and shakily got my keys and opened the door. I stumbled inside and took off my jacket, going straight upstairs to hop into bed. "Please get home soon…" I whimpered as I shoved all my clothes off and quickly hopped into my pajamas. I cuddled up in bed surrounded by soft pillows and blankets. 

"I'm 5 minutes away…I can see you all cute and curled up in bed for me~" She hummed. I blushed and hid in the mountain of softness. "I can see the pillow you are talking about." I giggled and poked at the pillow with my shirt on it. "What? You're telling me you don't have a pillow of me?" She teased. "Well…sometimes…" I mumbled. We soon hung up since Natasha was almost home and my phone needed to charge. I frowned as I held a pillow. It started out as small sniffling and quickly evolved into loud sobbing. 

"Love? I'm home!" She said. I sobbed louder and buried my face in the pillows. I heard her walk upstairs and open the bedroom door. "Oh Love…" She whispered and I heard her come over to the bed. I felt the bed dip in front of me and her arms wrapped around me. 

"Why do you even bother with me?! I-I'm practically useless and I-I can't even defend myself! You deserve someone way better and not someone as needy as me!" I cried. She pulled the blanket away from my face and made me look at her. "You have no idea how much I love you. I've always loved you. Even before we met. I've always loved you~ You were meant for me and me only. You are mine and I am yours. I don't care about other people. I can take care of them. I just want you. You're everything I need and more and I'm about to show you. " She whispered lovingly to me. I was about to ask what she meant by that but then she pinned me down to the bed. "I'll have you crying tears of pleasure in a few minutes." She promised. I shivered and put a hand over my mouth when she yanked my shorts off and licked her lips. 

I shivered and whined when her warm mouth engulfed my cock. "N-Nat…ngh. O-Oh…! P-Please, you know h-how fast I cum…!" I whined and gripped the bedsheets. "I know baby~ Cum then~ i'm not stopping anytime soon." She growled and pulled it something out from under the pillows. I looked within hazy eyes at the strap- on she had on. I squirmed in pleasure and whined softly. "Please Mommy…please fuck me with your cock!" I begged, knowing she couldn't resist me begging her with the puppy eyes. 

She smirked and lightly smacked my thigh. "Good boy~" She purred. I moaned at the praise and lifted my legs up. "Please~" I begged as she quickly put the strap-on on. I saw her put a vibrator inside her and she handed me the remote. "I know how much you love to please Mommy as well~" She growled and poured a lot of lube on the strap and my hole. I shivered at the wetness. "Mommy! Please! I- NGH!" I let out a sudden keen when she thrusted inside.  "Keep fucking moaning~ Your voice is so pretty~" She praised and slapped my ass. I turned the vibrator up a quarter and she let out loud moans. Her forehead rested on my shoulder and her hands intertwined with mine. 

I arched my back and screamed out when she bit down on my shoulder. "Everyones going to know that you belong to me~ I love you~ No one else is going to ever see you like this but me." She growled and marked up another part of my neck. "CUMMING♡" I screamed and creamed all over my tummy. She didn't stop at all and instead sped up. I screamed out loudly. 

"NATASHA! NATASHA! NATASHA! NATASHA!" I cried out with every thrust. I accidentally turned the vibrator all the way up and she moaned loudly in my ear. I gasped when I felt her cum drip down onto my body. My eyes rolled back and I couldn't help but cry. This time, it was from too much pleasure. My whole body spasmed when her hand touched my cock and jerked it hard. 

"N-NO! I-I'M GONNA CUM AGAIN! I-I'TS SO MU-MUCH!" I sobbed. "IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouILOVEYOU!"  She moaned and gripped my hand hard before cumming again. I was shaking and crying into a pillow when she flipped me on my knees and fucked into me hard. "OH!!! OH!!! OH♡" I screamed. She didn't stop at all. "God I'm so fucking horny for you right now. I can't stop." She purred and bit down on my neck more. 

I shook my head, trying to signal that I can't do it anymore. "P-PLEASE! CAN'T CUM ANYMORE! I-I CAN'T!" I begged. She slammed into me one more time and bit down on my neck hard as she came. I fumbled for the vibrator and turned it off. She fell on the bed and I collapsed In on myself. My eyes betrayed me and the last thing I saw before I passed out was Natasha moving my hair out the way before cleaning me up. 

Next up: HYDRA Steve x Male Reader Final

#natasha romanoff x male reader #avengers x male reader #x male reader #male reader #marvel #marvel fic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #black widow x male reader

[the-teapot-hatter]

Off Script | The MC and Grimm

So, I figured I'd go ahead and explain the MC/Y/n/Yuu more. I touched on it in an ask, but I figured I'd explain a bit more. As well as elaborate on Grimm.

So, the MC doesn't live in a dumpster. (Though all of the boys and the transmigrated heroine's assume that they do.)

But they are a dumpster diver. The MC is actually a bit of a hoarder and is Kleptomaniac. (This being because the MC is based off of one of my Oc's that obsessively collects random things.)

The MC actually has a proper home. They mainly go around the village fixing things and anytime someone needs something, they go to the MC since they know the MC probably has it. It's just that everyone also avoids the MC like the plague, because who would want to interact with someone that dumpster dives for absolutely no reason?

The MC is literally that raccoon that rummages around through people's garbage for things it doesn't even need to take home. Their scruffy, feral, and will fight anyone who tries to take what they have decided is their trash.

Grimm is actually a monster that they found in the trash and just took home with them one day. He's theirs now. And no one is going to take him from them.

When the MC encourages Grimm to get things from the boys, it's mostly them hoping they can get stuff to add to their collection. To their dismay, it never is.

However, with this said, the MC's home isn't a mess. It's organized and everything has a clear place. They specifically set up a large shed to put their stuff in because they didn't want to clutter the house with their stuff when they're raising Grimm in it.

Grimm is just as bad as the MC. But worse, because he actually wants valuable stuff like jewels. While the MC wants stuff like a broken key that no longer has any value.

The MC's main odd jobs come from someone named Dire Crowley. He typically requests odd items here and there and has them do odd jobs. It's nothing illegal, so the MC doesn't really mind. It's how they get most of their money, even if they've never actually seen the man.

Honestly, part of how the MC meets some of the boys is that the boys are carrying around or picked up something they deemed as theirs and the MC just about fights the boys for it. Even though its trash. And the boys are so confused? Like, why on earth would you want this??? Why would you need this???

And when the MC finally gets it, they never elaborate and just leave. Like, what they did is perfectly normal. And the boys are just left confused, concerned, and a little intrigued.

#au concept #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #disney twst #disney twst wonderland

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

My review of Hilda season 3

A proper review. One without spoilers. I've been thinking about making this today. I'm still going to not tweet or post a lot; I want to keep my word on that. I'd rather retweet some important stuff. But I want to make a review on the entire season and give out more reasonable thoughts.

Yesterday, after two years of waiting. The third and final season of Hilda finally premiered on Netflix. And I have some stuff to say about this final season. Including as someone who's been following this show for five years.

I'm going to be honest, despite this final season only being shortened to 8 episodes. With 7 regular ones to the finale being legit movie length in a way. And whatever issues I and others may have with it. The final season of Hilda delivers an emotional final chapter for this show. Including this time, focusing more on Hilda's family which also introduces a new character by the name of Great Aunt Astrid.

And what makes this season interesting is that compared to the other seasons and the movie. This is not based upon any books. This is all new territory that surely still surprise a lot of people.

I want to admit something. And again, I am not trying to spoil anything huge. But considering the season is shortened. I was hoping that certain characters would get expanded upon or well, we get to see them one last time before the show ends. Mainly where they are now after the events of The Mountain King. I'm talking about characters like Erik Ahlberg, the Bellkeeper, the Marra and some others.

It's disappointing we don't see more of them. But to be honest, in exchange for that, we get a final season focuses more on the two characters I consider the heart of the show. And that's Hilda and Johanna, who is also possibly in her biggest role in the show yet considering she gets a lot more focus this time around. And to be honest, with how the story goes throughout the season. I actually prefer that much more than whatever else.

Would I have liked it if they did 13 episodes again? I wouldn't mind. But I still loved what we got. And honestly, I think some people are merely disappointed that this season, we get answers to some things to stuff people didn't want answered. But to me, I try to keep my expectations in check, and I rather see what the writers want to showcase to us. And honestly, the fans like me can explore some "Loose ends" in our own stories. And to be honest, it's not like this stuff is eating away at us. The Mountain King felt like a fitting closure to the show. But I'm so glad season 3 exists because of what it decides to explore and ending the show on such a beautiful note.

All the actors do a fantastic job as always. Such as Bella Ramsey, Daisy Haggard and everyone else. Especially with the time skip they decided to do. Having these characters grow up a little bit to me is a good decision. To showcase these characters are still growing. Yes, I'm one of the people who didn't mind Hilda growing a few more inches.

The show still has its very funny moments. But what was surprising about season 3 is how well...this is possibly the darkest the show has gotten. And somehow the scariest. Which may sound really stupid. But I swear to God as the show goes on. With the unraveling mystery about these "Two hooded" figures. There are times I legit worried for these characters.

I even felt like there was a contrast in tone between chapters 1 and 2. With chapter 1 feeling like a fantastical return to this world I've loved watching. And chapter 2 I swear, I feel like I'm watching something akin to Silent Hill. Which sounds like a very stupid comparison. And then there's chapter 6 where I am scared for these characters I have cared about for so long. It really says a lot even in a show like this, and the fact this isn't based upon any existing material. It gives you a feeling when you've grown attach to these characters and seeing them in some of these situations. Whether harmless or not.

I swear, I felt uneasy during certain moments. Because I now understand a certain friend of mine and whoever else. I just felt even more genuinely worried for these characters. In fact, there is a scene that I told my best friend RySenkari, "I HATE THAT F***IN SCENE!" not because it was bad or anything. But because let's say my...the show really tugged at my heartstrings or something. Because there was no way they were going to do that, you don't do that to me.

In a funny yet sick way of looking at it. I think I went through my "Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good." moment because again, I hate that scene in the finale.

Yet that also grows into how far these characters have grown since the first season. How much they have changed since we first met them. And it's a beautiful thing when see them succeed.

The soundtrack by I think it's still Ryan Carlson is still powerful as always. That I want this soundtrack to be released on YT and Amazon Music soon. It's likely the best the score for this show has ever been. Also, the main theme by Grimes is beautiful as always.

Also, I've been wondering about changing my header/background images again. The ones you see on my Tumblr and Twitter accounts. I'll even do the same for my PlayStation profile's background.

The animation is fantastic as always. The scenery is beautiful as always. I feel like I have nothing else much to say. But it's merely me just loving this season. Yet compared to the earlier ones, I feel...hesitant to rewatch it. Again, this may sound stupid. This is the tensest the show has been. And the writers somehow made this more intense than some things they pulled in season 2 and The Mountain King. Those mad geniuses. And this is a show that's geared towards kid but everyone in general. That speaks volumes of how good the writers are.

And while there were some reveals that I feel little bothered by. But I still liked what they delivered. Again, that finale...that finale is something.

Again, despite it being only 8 episodes. Season 3 is pretty an emotional final journey for the fans of this show. A humorous, yet pretty scary at times adventure that pretty much makes you cry over these characters if you've become attached to them. It had that effect on that. I talked about my reaction. I'll admit, I do think maybe my...Autism might've had an effect of how I reacted. It likely did, but I'm not going to bring that up again. It's something I just wanted to mention.

I'm wondering if I should say anything else. But I want to be done with this review. I don't think I have nothing else to add other than the fact if you've haven't watched Hilda yet. I highly recommend watching seasons 1, 2, The Mountain King and season 3 right now. If you have time that is. December is the perfect time to watch this show. I talked about how this show feels kind of perfect to watch it during this time of year. I assure you; you will not be disappointed. And hopefully, if you've read my reaction to season 3, you'll understand how I felt.

And especially with how stressful the last few weeks have been. Watching Hilda again is always a great thing. I'm still not leaving this fandom. I will always love this show. But right now, I'm going to take it easy a bit. I'm not going to post a lot, make any manips and whatever else. I'm going to try to relax a bit. It's weird this time around I have a job now in the morning and I couldn't or well...I didn't want to lay in bed after I finished the show. I stood up all night after finishing it. Luckily, I took a 5-hour nap before that.

Again, thank you Luke Pearson and everyone who has worked on bringing this beautiful show to life. I'll never forget this. I'm always going to cherish what you all made. You made me and others so happy with what you've made.

#geekgem rambles #hilda the series

[abybweisse]

Hi, I love your posts especially the Undertaker ones!He has been absent from the manga for months And reading your blog somehow makes up it for me😍

My question is, is it possible that Tanaka is not human?! It seems that he is aware of Sebastian's nature. He is also shown to be strong in the manga .For example, when he protected Earl from an attack by his guest in the book of murder arc And was the only survivor of the attack on the mansion on the night of vincest's murder

I might be crazy, but I think it might be something (something other than demon or Shinigami)

I'm glad my blog helps you deal with Undertaker's hiatus in the manga!

What is Tanaka?

Tanaka might realize something is off about Sebastian, but I think that's simply the fact that he is very perceptive... and while Sebastian is around, Tanaka has time to sit back, sip his tea, and observe.

I don't think Tanaka is non-human. Sebastian doesn't even seem to notice there's anything particularly off about him, and he typically leaves Tanaka to his own devices. And even his strength might have more to do with decades of honing his fighting skills. In some martial arts, it's not about size or even brute strength; speed, agility, good timing, and proper aim can be mistaken for physical strength. That's not to say there are no mysteries about him, though.

Usually when I'm talking about Tanaka, it's about his parallel to Leder in Mother3. Leder stands out in a crowd, but he's quiet (he literally only speaks in one scene in the entire game) and unassuming and pretty smart. He's the only one with the background information that Lucas needs, so that Lucas will understand his own role in saving Nowhere Islands... even though it ultimately requires the destruction of his older mirror twin brother, Claus. Leder was the only villager to keep his memories preserved when they started their new lives in Tazmily Village on Nowhere Islands.

I see Tanaka very similarly. He stands out because 1. he's the only Japanese character we've met (so far), and 2. because he was depicted early-on in a super-deformed style. He's very observant while saying very little. When he does speak, he typically gives words of advice or displays humility as the humble servant he's supposed to be. Unlike the newer servants that have been hired-on, he's highly capable of his job (steward) and seems to have played that role since the time that Cloudia/Claudia was the queen's watchdog. (Or at least butler back then.) He's already been the one to explain about the birth of the twins, and I'm hoping he will fulfill his role as the parallel to Leder by giving our earl the knowledge he needs to destroy his own older mirror twin brother, the real Ciel. He is the only person (besides the twins) who survived the attack and fire... that we know of. However, it must be said he claims he didn't recognize any of the attackers, and he doesn't seem to have given our earl any useful information about the attack and fire. At least not yet. I'm still holding out for him to finally give our earl and Sebastian useful information about that day. Perhaps he hopes our earl isn't really seeking revenge; eventually he should realize that's what our earl needs to do.

But I have doubts about him, too, even now. Not that he's something other than human... but about where his true loyalty lies. I think he's sticking around with real Ciel to gather intel on how to defeat him, but we have yet to see him pass along any information since our earl and the others left the manor.

There's also the fact that (when they are reunited at the hospital) our earl asks him if he recognizes any of the attackers, and he says he doesn't. But I'm not entirely convinced he's telling the truth. Somehow, a number of things managed to survive the fire that probably shouldn't have, like the signet ring that Madam Red hands to our earl. Idk if she found it there or if Tanaka did, but I'd have expected the golden ring to melt, particularly if it was on Vincent's finger or in his office (where attackers might have also wanted to destroy evidence to cover up the reason for the attack). Then there's the huge ledger of employees from Vincent's time, as well as a family collection of recipes. I suspect that Tanaka somehow kept a lot of things safe, hidden away somewhere the attackers didn't look and the fire didn't reach. In the anime, Tanaka presents Vincent's personal diary to "Ciel", and I think it has an entry where Vincent says he expects an attack. How he's entrusting Tanaka to keep certain things safe. Well, Tanaka hasn't whipped out any diaries (yet), but so far this is all in keeping with the whole Leder parallel.

Even for real Ciel, he's been the one to pull out that ledger and explain to him (and us) more about Vincent's time as watchdog, even if it's just about the servants. But I believe that to be important! Because I theorize that Polaris is one of the butlers shown in various chapters, like ch133, ch134, and ch151. Tanaka, therefore, likely would have trained him.

What surprises me is that Tanaka worked quite closely with Vincent, and it feels odd (because of that fact) that he wouldn't recognize any of the attackers. Hired thugs, perhaps? Idk. But here he is -- the one survivor who should have a pretty clear memory of the attack -- and he doesn't seem to have any useful information about it. That's fishy to me. Perhaps his recollections are fuzzy because he was stabbed? Maybe he's lying because he doesn't want for his young master to seek revenge? Like... it's a waste of his life to try? Assuming Tanaka doesn't know that Sebastian is a demon contracted specifically to help our earl seek that very thing.

The crackiest theory I have seen (and have had to consider myself) about Tanaka is that he's in league with the queen. There's a joke scene in an OVA for s2 of the anime, where he gets into one of those giant mobile robot suits... along with the queen and Lord Randall. It's absurd! But... what if he was planted with the Phantomhive family two generations ago, and he's been keeping tabs on them the entire time? What if he's only sticking around with real Ciel to report back to the queen how she could possibly control real Ciel -- to finally have a bizarre doll as an "ally"? Either way, he does seem to be genuinely disturbed by real Ciel as a bizarre doll who is so unkind to the servants.

Yana-san once tweeted that our earl is so twisted because he has largely been raised by Sebastian, and she goes on to say how Vincent had quite the evil streak (as Phantomhives are expected to have) and vaguely suggests that some of its expression comes from being largely raised by Tanaka. She cuts herself off from telling us what that means about Tanaka. We can infer that he's also got quite the evil streak. But what does that possibly mean regarding his loyalty? 🤔

TL/DR: I think he's human, but his loyalty is up for debate.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #tanaka #theories #mother3 #leder #anon asks #i answer #answered asks #ch133 #ch134 #ch151 #phantomhive servants #former butler #mar 3 2023 #long post #long reads

[purekwon]

reasons why episode 6 of the eclipse series should not have been shown to me: a very serious, very rational, write up

[THE ECLIPSE SERIES EP 6 SPOILERS!]

so far, we've seen many tension-filled akkayan moments - whenever they get a whiff of that locker room air, or a feel of each other on the crash mat - but EPSIODE 6??!!?!!! i'd like to say i have no words but i'm afraid i cant hold my thoughts in any longer or i'll literally exothermic-reaction combust. let us begin...

the all-revealing scene

even tho this scene is a lead on from ep 5, it still made me sit up with shock. the anticipation and the tense atmosphere when aye discovers the truth behind so many happenings and akk's visible panic to find out he's been uncovered is just the perfect combo in this scene. and even tho aye has just found out damaging information, instead of throwing akk under the bus, he helps him hide from teacher sani. it's the way he constantly protects akk, despite the circumstances, that never fails to make me giggle and kick my feet. and omg the tension?? through the roof. I WAS SO HAPPY AYE WAS THE ONE TO FIND AKK (but also anxious)

2. the firepit scene

"akk! look into my eyes. nothing is the best. you can't carry all the school problems on your shoulder. do you get it?" "but i must do it! if i can't, everyone will be disappointed in me." "screw those people!"

now this pushed me to my limit. we hoped for affection and we got emotional vulnerability, on both sides. akk with his hero complex, breaking down in tears before aye (aka the only person i've seen him be this unguarded around), and ayan crying after seeing akk so tormented by the good-boy persona he's trying to maintain. honestly, tears rimmed my eyes bc i FELT for both of them during the peak of this scene. aye holding akk's face to calm him and akk just allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of him.. it just UGH

3. their quiet yet LOUD moment

this scene bro. when i tell you i squealed when aye got all flirty n shit and the way akk was just LETTING him do this until they got caught (eyeroll). we see a clear change from the first episodes where akk would immediately push aye away or escape the situation where as now, he seems to accept and almost.. yearn for it? wtv it was, it made want to push their heads together and give us all what we've been ever so patiently waiting for. the way aye has the ability to be flirty while being accusing of akk is genuinely attractive. idc.

4. my final effing straw

THE NIGHTMARE TROPPEEE HELLL YEAAHHHH best trope going i swear. the way akk instantly comforted aye with a hug and was the first to lean in for a kiss for once??? the way they've become so fond of one another is just entirely tender and warm and i so thoroughly enjoyed this scene that i replayed it at least 3 times. he didn't hesitate to make sure ayan felt safe during the nightmare and neither did he pull away when aye leant in for the kiss.

the safe aura this scene encapsulates is just immaculate and first and khaotung couldn't have done a better job at executing it. akk finally caved and wasn't forced into doing so, he did it voluntarily, of his own free will. he wanted to kiss aye. he wanted to make him feel safe in his arms and protect him from his nightmare. i love them. i really do. i'm happy this was the way they shared their first proper kiss, with mutual pining after a long day and in the comforts of akk's dorm bed. so homely it gives me butterflies DKDJHDJKS

this scene reminds me of leith ross' - We'll Never Have Sex "Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me Not to take me home It was simple, it was sweetness It was good to know"

but anyways.. that concludes this vent for now. in short, this episode should've been kept from my view because idk how im gonna cope when the series ends! 😃

#the eclipse #i want to scream #they are so special to me #I WANT EPISODE 6 ENGRAVED INTO MY MIND FOREVER #first khaotung #akk aye #akk ayan #thai bl #im too soft for this #nightmare trope #idk how tags work #the eclipse series #ayanakk #the eclipse meta #the eclipse episode 6 #the eclipse series spoilers #eclipse series

[mtreebeardiles]

WIP Whenever

Got tagged by @solstheimtxt -- many thanks! Gonna tag let's see @theoriginalladya @tiny-banana-time annnnd @bluerose5 -- only if ya'll want to, of course!

Gonna slap this very, very rough draft under a cut since it's Baldur's Gate 3 and idk who's played or how far along etc etc

Some general voice testing that i'd like to turn into a proper one-shot eventually. My Bard, Bellamy, and our resident adorable queen of adorableness, Karlach ~

She was always aware of him. 

The kind-eyed stranger she met on the river, flanked by the one who would have hunted her down, would've finished the job if he hadn't stepped between them. A lilt in his voice, an accent carrying traces of home -- real home, Baldur's Gate home, not the living nightmare she'd finally escaped. He saw her, heard her, listened when so many others couldn't be bothered, and something like hope caught hold in her chest when he held out a hand to her. 

Proverbial hand, anyway. 

It wasn't like they could touch one another. 

But she could look -- and look she did, any chance she got. It'd been so long since she'd enjoyed the natural beauties of this plane, and there was little doubt that he was one of them -- eyes that danced, lips that looked so touchable and soft, contrasted by the close cut of his full beard. A half-elf, wearing the evidence of his mixed heritage proudly, unbowed before those who mistook themselves for his betters. There was a confidence in him that she found compelling, tempered through with an unabashed playfulness that was a breath of fresh air somehow better, sweeter than the actual fresh air she was inhaling these days. 

Then there was his voice. 

That lilt deepened when he shifted from speaking to singing, weaving together harmonies that resonated in the chest and got caught between the ears. Melodies she'd find herself humming for days after, earning her a shared glance and a shared smile that left her blood buzzing in her veins. A giddiness in his proximity, a remembrance for how good, how incredibly good it was to laugh again, to partake in experiences so far removed from blood and gore and unbearable heat. His voice washed it away, creating a bubble in time and space where she could just breathe, and breathe, and breathe, just be. 

It was hardly a surprise to her, then, to learn music was his means to magic. 

Nimble fingers moving with ease on the neck of his violin as his other hand drew the bow across its strings, and it had startled her the first time she heard it in the midst of battle. Their eyes had met across the clash and the clamor, the ethereal glow of the Weave glinting in the air around him, and she felt his chords as much as she'd heard them. Felt them ripple in the air, felt them reverberate in her chest, felt the surge, the strength, the faith he seemed to be imparting -- directly to her. 

She felt like she could do anything. 

It didn't take her long, over the course of skirmishes and outright battles, to pick out that he had a unique song for each of them. Something hauntingly beautiful, for Shadowheart; something bracing for Lae'zel. Gale's was steadying; Astarion's strangely melancholic. 

Hers was invigorating, something that stirred and uplifted and left her blood humming well after the fighting was done. It was an exquisite sort of torture, really, settling in camp hours later and wanting to hear it again, wanting to feel it again, that want jumping to desire to touch, touch, touch -- to trace his cheekbones, to run fingertips along the fine bones of his elegant hands. To lie beside him, close, close, and count each and every freckle scattered thickly across his nose. 

"I wish I could touch you," she confessed one night, the words falling from her mouth unbidden. "Erm, that is, you know, I haven't, uh, had the, um, you know -- can't really touch anyone, really, with ol' rusty here." Babbling, she was certain, was not particularly attractive, but she couldn't seem to stop.

Proximity to him seemed to remove what few filters she really had. 

But he smiled, that easy, unruffled smile, and there was warm in those pale green eyes. 

"I wish I could touch you, too," he admitted, to her jaw-dropping surprise. 

"You -- you do? Like…"

"I seem to recall you mentioning a particular yearning for a hug."

Oh. 

"Oh. Right, yes, a…hug. Yes. Definitely hug-starved, that's…that's me."

His head tilted, and if she weren't already burning hot by default she was certain the look he gave her then would have warmed her through and through. 

"Hugs are a wonderful starting point, at least."

"…starting?"

"But so is getting to know one another, I think, and there's no reason we can't do that. C'mon," he nodded towards the path she knew led down to the small lake not far from where they'd set up camp. He turned, flashing her one last encouraging smile over his shoulder, and she found herself smiling back. 

#my writing #tag meme #my ocs #Bellamy the Bard

[asterlizard]

2023

I have kinda mixed feelings about this year. There were some low points, but then there were some high points too.

I was mostly busy with almost nonstop dogsitting sessions and zine work, but they really ate away at my personal time, especially during the middle of the year. On top of that, I kept job hunting for the first half of the year but it was going nowhere. It really broke my spirit, to the point where just thinking about job hunting made me feel depressed, and I needed to step away from it. All of this combined, I dealt with burnout, discouragement, feeling lost, and stressed to the point of developing a excessive hand-washing compulsion during the summer, which I'm still trying to shake off. I wonder if I also lost a bit of myself along the way, often not feeling absorbed in the moment.

And yeah, this low period also showed in my art summary for the year. I only published a few sketches if they weren't zine works.

That being said!

It wasn't until December that things felt like they were starting to get back on track. I finally got a chance to draw for myself again, and I think the interest I had in this showed in these last few pieces. I felt a lot more comfortable drawing these pieces. I was also finishing tasks in December when I wanted to finish them, and I'm now feeling more accomplished and less ashamed of myself.

On another note, we had great weather this year! There were no wildfires to watch out for (at least, that I was aware of), no nearby smoke or really bad air quality, and not much hot weather! Also lots of rain and cool weather in the first half of the year, it was really pleasant! It really helped with our drought crisis!

As for other accomplishments:

I went travelling for the first time since lockdown! (though even with official safety precautions being relaxed, I still continued to be careful)

I finished pieces for 5 zines: -DanganParty: A Birthday Party zine -Fly!!: A Haikyuu zine -Tsukuyomi: A Tokoyami zine -Celestial Night: A Sailor Moon zine -Wintertide: A BNHA zine

Started some serious cleanup, both at home and on the computer

Going to the cinema again for the first time since lockdown!

I turned 30, which does feel kinda weird because I certainly don't feel like I'm that age. I spent some time while I was 29 kinda fretting about it, but if it makes me feel a bit better, 30 is technically the last year of the 20s. I felt like more could have been done in my 20s that I would look more fondly on like I would for my first two decades, but then again I was dealing with hardship and then healing during my 20s (though it wasn't all bad) I can only hope that I can make my 30s more what I want.

Now then, onto the resolutions:

Image descriptions: Because my mind was preoccupied due to working on other things, I never got around to making any image descriptions this year. On top of that, I ran into a dilemma on where to put these descriptions (do I use alt text? or do I keep writing it in the text box because I hear the alt text can be buggy?) Hopefully I can find a solution and make good progress this year.

Language learning: I think I progressed well in my Japanese learning this year (I watched a video of a N5 test review, and I only got a couple of mistakes, so I think I qualify? Not a huge accomplishment, but it still feels good to pass some kind of level) I'd like to add another resource that involves writing or speaking, if not communicating with someone (that'd be a difficult goal, since I'd need to figure out where to find a conversation partner)

Storywriting: I'm in the middle of writing my next chapter for KalChi, though burnout created a roadblock for me. The chapter after that should be a bit easier though, so I'd like to get more than one chapter published this year. Also… I have another story I'd like to get started on soon (hopefully I'll have news about this in the 4th quarter of the year) I'd also like to try and find a proper website to put my stories on, such as Wordpress. I'm open to suggestions!

Other fun things: Find more things to do outside of what I normally do. It got a bit monotonous for me this year, and I was really itching to see some local stuff again.

Relax: This is the most important! I made this my resolution last year, but I didn't follow it at all, and I think I did worse this year in regards to self care. I really want to plan out my personal time better so I'm not either rushing to get a lot done at once or feeling bored out of my mind.

I also want to continue to keep up with friends! I think I did a little better this year, but our main issue was schedule coordination. But I feel like my ability to communicate has suffered a bit, so I need to keep that up too.

I want to remind myself that making an effort can make a positive difference and not to give up, so I'm once again adding a link to some good things that happened in the world this year: [link]

I have a feeling 2024 is going to be a big year, at least in the world. Maybe the same will be true for me as well, at least in a positive way (though I won't push myself too hard) So I also hope that you stay safe and take care of yourself too. I wish the best for you 💕

#my posts

[inlocusmads]

The Eleventh Hour

Ethan wallows in his sorrows. Hope eventually arrives in the form of a pajama-wearing, file-bearing, frantically-running Jane.

Featuring: Ethan Ramsey, Jane Fletcher from Open Heart.

Word Count: 1.9k | No Warnings/General | Post Book 3: In The Future

Tropes: Proposal / Humour

A/N : This is the proposal fic. Yes. You heard that right. No I am not kidding. Yes, it is heartwarming. No, I don't guarantee fluff. Yes, fluff has various interpretations and is left up to the reader to view it whatever way they see fit.

"Marriage isn't really in the cards for me."

"Children? Nah."

"I doubt I'd be a good family person, to say the least. I don't believe I can raise a child or take them to school or – anything of that sort."

"Honestly I'm much better off alone."

It was eleven at night and the doctor was alone, with some nightly patrons at Pauling's Bistro and Bar. 

Ethan wanted to be wrong. He desperately wanted to be. Except it wasn't simple, wasn't it? His friends were all settled and happy. Tobias had a girlfriend now and if trends run smoothly, perhaps he could finally settle down. Ines and Angie were considering sperm donors and everyone was ready. Almost as if they'd had their life sorted out from the very beginning. 

It went Birth. School. Work. Marriage. Death. In that order. Kids were optional, but a wedding! People loved weddings and his father was no exception to it. 

They had a thing going on in his class in the late 80s. The kids there all wanted what their parents had - a great house, a job that paid well, endless candy. They'd all written up their wishes and had read it out to the class. When it has been Ethan's turn, he'd taken his itty project to the front and used his sharp voice to read out his essay. 

"I would love to be a dragon when I grow up!"

Ethan was, safe to say, a bit sad. Pauling's Bistro was quiet that night and he'd been served a sandwich and a tall glass of lemonade. He wasn't quite in the mood for anything strong or anything too fancy, because he believed in not giving into his depressive symptoms, such as impulse buying and keeping quiet to himself in a corner. 

A good cry would do it. 

"Over sandwiches? Really? God, I'm pathetic." Ethan spoke out loud. He massaged his eyes in agony. 

Ethan didn't need kids or a family to be complete. After all, Baz Mirani, a dear friend of his, had come out as asexual and aromatic and he'd mentioned he didn't need a partner or anyone to make his life happy and prosperous. He'd had a plan too - extend the lifespan of his career, travel the world a bit and he'd also mentioned something about garlic bread and cake that he didn't quite understand. 

Unfortunately Ethan wasn't a person on the Ace Spectrum, rather he was actually in a committed relationship. 

For three and a half years to be precise. 

Jane had been his partner for a couple of years and neither had any idea on how to take their relationship. Jane still lived with the Roommates in her Boston flat and occasionally popped by Ethan's for a chat, sometimes. It felt like they were longtime friends who decided to just date out of convenience, peer pressure and boredom. Neither of them were remotely interested in romantic things and often got together for lunch, to talk about dragons and the general way of life. 

So no. They were friends, but now they dated. They're one ring away from getting married, one hyperactive bridesmaid and best man away from a lavish wedding and one paper away from getting a house and starting a proper family. 

Many had already joked. They'd said stuff like, "Oh, you two don't need marriage! You're already together for a really long time!" - a cheeky way of guilting them into throwing a huge inconvenient party, with a cake and a dance. His friends weren't of help either. They'd all subtly hinted that Ethan was not the same, doe-eyed boy he used to be, playing with dragons and tidying up his office. He was growing old and that meant he'd have to get settled down quickly. 

A clap of thunder jolted him awake. He took a small bite of his jalapeno and cheese sandwich, before downing the lemonade in one single go. 

"I didn't ask to be an adult." he mumbled, hazily. "I – just sort of minded my own business and then – these people walk in with their obscure demands and hey, "Look at that" they'd say, "Let's make a mockery of him! He looks like an old lean fellow, someone with nobody to take care of him!" – and the next thing I know, I'm jumping down this – cliff of dread and absolute shame because of course, it's always the fellow who's got everything who can't get it. It's poetic cinema. Writes itself, practically. Three years and a book later, it becomes a movie –"

Another clap of thunder. The people serving him drinks and the patrons threw him concerned looks, as if he's gone loopy in the head. 

"-- annnd it's always me! The miserable loner who can't be bothered to have a good wedding because God forbid him go against his – stupid little feeling policies. Who even – who even made up stuff like that? Was it Mom? Louise? Did Dad have a say in it? Did they – sort of genetically code me into being this – kind of person?"

He'd always blamed Louise for his lack of empathy, but someday he was going to have to fight back. Unfortunately for him, Ethan was more than comfortable to give up and address it slowly. And it was valid, really. Recovering from trauma took time and Ethan should've been a bit more pardoning with himself.

And yet, he subjected himself to torture. He watched his friends post pictures on social media - their "happy lives, happy wives" memes and so on, that it didn't just annoy him. It made him green with envy and blue with sorrow.

He was tired of making excuses.  He was tired of missing out on a life he knew for certain he wasn't going to enjoy.

"Wha' am I suppos'd to do, anyway? Get engaged? Would that please these – Gods of Marriage then?"

The rain poured like hellfire. And suddenly, Ethan spotted a figure running across the street to the Bistro. The figure wore a coat, a pair of sandshoes and was tall enough to stick out like a sore thumb. The figure also had something tucked in their cloak and their steps, though steadfast, weren't very graceful.

"Jane."

She motioned for him to come out. Or maybe she'd gestured at something else. Either way, he complied instantly and abandoned his sandwich; ducking through the door and into the cold night where the storm raged on and on. Jane was dripping wet.

"Jane? Is this you?"

"Certainly haven't done this before – I might've just made a huge mess."

"The pyjamas–"

"Ah yes. Pardon me. They are not an artistic choice." - she adjusted the collars of her shirt. "Anyway – I was about to go to bed a couple of minutes ago, when I realised there was something terribly important I was forgetting. Something so important you could start a war and it's still be even more important than defending the country."

"No, I understand, what is it? An emergency? And how on earth did you find me here?"

"Trial and error." She panted and puffed. "You weren't at the public library or Donahue's. You weren't inside any of the supply closets. So you had to be here."

The rain ravaged. Ethan shrugged off his coat and draped it over Jane, shushing her as she tried to protest. 

"Anyway, it took a while, but I know how much you want the package."

"The what?"

"Kids. A life. An awesome car or something."

"I never said that."

"Ah, but you wouldn't stop complaining and it kind of was annoying. You didn't want the package but at the same time you were envious of the people who had it. So it was paradoxical and I didn't know what I should be doing about it. And then I had this brilliant plan. To you know, make you a little less upset with life."

"I'm not upset with anything! Jane, you need to know that all of this is just–"

"I've known you for eight years. I highly doubt you'd want your cribbings to be ignored. Anyway –"

Jane got down on one knee. Ethan stared; his eyes fixated on her, as she tried to carefully remove the documents under her cloak. 

"This contains two things. An instructional page to become a Canadian citizen and a second page that has everything you need to know about registering yourself as my common-law partner, application, paperwork, blah blah. You get the point."

She looked up at him, cleared her throat and held the manila folder as if it were a velvet box with a delicate ring inside. 

"So – Ethan. Ramsey. Whatever your middle name is. Will you be my common-law partner?"

Ethan paused; his breath hitched and he was certain he couldn't think properly. 

"I really need an answer now because I've badly hurt my knee and it hurts to do anything."

Ethan let out a chuckle, followed by a deep, hearty laugh that stemmed from his stomach. He continued - chuckling, laughing and just in the throes of this euphoric feeling of happiness that he didn't bother paying Jane any attention or her poor scraped knee. 

"Yes." - He smiled. 

"Is that a yes or a "I'll think about it" yes?"

"An actual YES." he screamed a little. 

"You know my middle name is Jonah, right?" Ethan said, as he cut up a piece of the sandwich for both of them to share. Outside, the storm stopped but the rain continued in partial drizzles; probably in tandem with the emotional highs and lows Ethan had faced that day. 

"Yeah, well, I forgot, okay? You can't expect me to remember everything."

"Considering you actually proposed, I think it'd have been nice if you went, Ethan Jonah Ramsey, will you marry me?"

"I thought it would somewhat be the opposite instead." Jane shrugged. "Like, Jantje Claude Fletcher, will you marry me? I thought you were in a rat race or a hamster wheel - or well, whatever - getting a ring, planning a wedding, conspiring with my friends, breaking open a champagne bottle like we're people inaugurating a ship like in those old cartoons."

"Like I said, it isn't in the cards for me. But common-law partnership might be."

"So it isn't a yes yes, then?" Jane raised her brow. 

"No, it is a yes. But I'd like to go through these and do some research."

"So you'd blindly jump in, before reading the manual? That's it. I'm finding a better partner. Goodbye."

"So you're saying this was a test? That there's probably an actual ring hidden inside your pocket right now? And you've got people hidden under the chairs and tables, waiting to yell, Surprise!"

"No. But it is implied." Jane shook her head. "Only joking, but if you desperately want a ring, I can make arrangements."

There was a pause. The two exchanged smiles; several inside jokes shoved up their sleeve, waiting to break out like a dam. But it didn't. Jane sighed, as Ethan dug into his sandwich. 

"This isn't a traditional arrangement, you know, so it did take me by surprise; the swiftness in which you said yes. Are you really sure?"

"Vw--ory sho--re." Ethan spoke, between mouthfuls of food. "I've never been sure ever before. This. It makes sense to me. I have to go through it to thoroughly understand it, but nothing has to change and I'm comfortable with that. Besides it's – it's you isn't it? It's you. Then there's me. And we're – well, we're happy. And I'd rather see you happy than make you hunt for a ring."

"Ah, so you would like a ring." Jane thumped her fist against the table. Ethan smiled a toothy grin. 

"There's this one black ring that I've got my eyes on. It's splendid, okay? It's got a nice engraving of a haiku. And I like haikus."

"Fine. You get your black ring. I'll get a sandwich, but you're paying this time. This is frickin good!"

"Indeed it is! Pauling's never disappoints."

Ethan looked back on the moment. The proposal at Pauling's Bistro. The rain. The storm. It felt like something out of a romance movie when the protagonists finally acknowledged the fact that things have changed. Things are now turning out to be better looking. Except Ethan didn't need a positive change in his life to be hopeful about things. Jane had taught him that even the simplest of crossword puzzles in a Sunday newspaper carried the largest of answers that unlocked the entire universe. Nothing had to change, because everything was great just the way it was.

At least for a while, because the storm didn't end there. It got worse.

"Yeah we're stuck here." Jane remarked. "Want to share some funny work stories?"

"Let's see. There was this man - no, this intern - wait, he could be a surgical one – no, probably from the anaesthetics department – anyway, he ended up doing something so hilarious and so incorrect that…"

Tag List:

Perma: @tessa-liam @peonierose @quixoticdreamer16

OH only: @cariantha @trappedinfanfiction @jerzwriter

#open heart #ethan ramsey x jane fletcher #w:inlocusmads

[a-s-levynn]

15, 30, and 44 for the nosy anon questions! Hope you're having a good day ❤

🫶🏻 Thank you for indulging me to spend time on the train! It got long because 30 kinda turned into oversharey bitching at the end but i had to get it out while i was at it, sorry 😅

Under the cut: fav movie, what i hate about school/work and a random fact about anything.

15: Favorite movie

This is a two answer question depending on how we measure favourite. Do we see the emotional impact or which movie i've seen the most?

If the first, it's definitely Naked (1993, by Mike Leigh). I've only seen it 3 times but boy did it unlock something. I'm not sure what exactly but it had an effect. It's not an easy watchfor sure, but it definitely worth a shot if you are not the 'i only watch light-hearted comedies' type.

On the other hand the movie i've seen the most is either Drive or Blade Runner. Probably Blade Runner wins the numbers but not by much. I love cyberpunk as a genre and after my favourite novel this is what i love about the genre at the core.

30: What I hate the most about work/school

Now i have a bit of a perspective on both, let's talk both.

Mind you this is my perspective on the country i grew up and live, this is not a general opinion.

What i hated about school the most was the fact that we learned a lot of unnecessary things. We accumulate such a large amount of lexical/encyclopedical knowledge that offers next to nothing in a practical sense. And that is by how we measure knowledge. So in an academic sense i'm considered dumb because i can't pull out 50 historical dates out of my arse. Which i can found in any chronological works or somesuch. It's equivalent to saying a fish is stupid 'cause it cannot climb a tree like a cat. I always despised the fact that we never really learned anything with practical application. Like how to prepare an envelope for postage? How to read a proper map? How to fill out a check for bills. Fuckin' how the rules of the road works. And then uni is a whole another beast on it's own because there are no real seminars anymore and it is basically a self-teaching club in most cases.

With work, i find it inherently stupid that the younger you are the less off days you have. You hear from everywhere that 'go travel when you are still young' like no shit, i'd love to but i have 23 off days per year and 19 of them is fixed so that leaves me with 4 fucking days to use at my leasure. Otherwise i can on unpaid vacations but then i have no money and i'll get fired because i'm not working. Retirement age is so high at this point that i either not gonna live long enough or be in no condition to finally go see the world. I despise the 40 hours (5days, 8hours) work weeks. I know that's the standard. I knkw there are jobs that are worse (which is borders on inhuman in my eyes but that's an other can of worms) As someone who lives alone, 2 days of weekend is so fucking short. When am i supposed to do anything? One day taken up by the housework and the other is either for friends which leaves me with no resting time or i rest and ignore my friends. I know i know many fi d it enough but i'm neurodivergent. I have exectuive dysfunction. I have trouble sleeping so i'm constantly tired. I know it's a me problem but like.. i know a lot of people who are in the same shoes. (This also applies to school btw. It's fucking horrid that you are in there for at least 8 hours a day and you have addition homework and than extra curricular shit and then you are left there withouth time for friends basically.) This is the general qualms of my life regarding my work.

A more immediate one is the fact that i work at a religious organization's library and i'm not religious. I'm not straight and definitely left leaning. So i mostly just keep to myself and do my job. Which is at least appreciated but still the crap i hear sometimes is.. Let's just say i kinda have an existential crisis every three days just by overhearing conversations on the hallways. But it pays the bills better than any other alternative and i really needed to start to work after uni and there wasn't many options during covid. (Not that i make good money in general, i'm only managing to live comfortably because i live in my friend's smaller room and she doesn't ask market price for it. When i have to move out i have no idea what i'm gonna do..) Not that there is many options right now especially with all the crap happaning in the family.. But at least both my bosses are nice and nobody tried to convert me yet. That day would be the one when i hand in my resignation even if it makes me homless i think. But so far it's fine. But i'm definitely not making friends over there.

44: A random fact about anything

Uuhhh my favourite random fact is actually is pretty well known i think, but it never fails to amuse me that wombat poop is square. Look i'm a simple person with childbrain. I find these kinda stupid things fun and interesting just as much as deeper discussions and any kind of wonders and inventions and whatnot. So my random fact is wombat poop. It is square. 😌

#levynn answers #reveries-of-my-mind #levynn tries to think

[fe-fictions]

sorry for the slow going over here! it's been a bit of a whirlwind this month - i'm unemployed at the moment, trying to find a job since july (over 100 applications and no offers i am sobbingggg)

bonus is that i got all four wisdom teeth taken out yesterday and i am in immense pain = v =

AND i'm moving out on the 20th, next week to a new apartment! so,,,, yeah

it's been a very busy, very expensive time for me that's made worse because i haven't got a job. and when i tried to open art commissions i didn't get any offers > V >'''' so it's been a little touch n go, not a lot of time for stories.

BUT the good news is, i finally had two opportunities open up for proper jobs, i'm working part-time at my old college spot (GAMESTOP LETS GOOOO) to try and recoup some money, and i'm really, really excited to move into a new apartment with not one but two roomies and my two kitties!

one of my roomies will also be bringing along three leopard geckos, which is gonna be super cool bc they're huge and super sweet and adorable (named Lilo, Gravy and Charizard dsjfkSDFKSDJF)

so i hope to have all this sorted out soon, but as things are starting to calm down (and i'm attached to my bed for the next couple days), i figured i'd be able to squeeze in a little writing!

pls do send in all the prompts you want; help me escape my IRL struggles and tooth pains U V U'''

#not related #news and updates #lots going on #LOTS to talk about #sdlkfjlkfJSDKFjdsf #i rly just wanna write a bunch of stories now that i finally have some time to do so #it would rly make me feel better negl

[deepspacedukat]

hey there, i'm a 'long time listener, first time caller' just wanting to send some love and appreciation your way. i really enjoy reading your fics and look forward to all your updates! you sure know how to set a proper thirst trap <3

you actually gave me the kick i needed to binge babylon 5 because it was on my radar for some time. i had just finished ds9 a while back (not my first watch), and i was still jones-ing for some sci-fi. you made some posts about the show and the rest is history lol

after finishing the series a couple of weeks ago, my 'b5 blorbos' are bester, neroon, and g'kar. i have some very specific scenarios that currently play in my head that i'd love for someone as skilled as you to put out into the world. i can't wait until you open fic requests again! ;)

but in the meantime, i'm thoroughly enjoying all the other fics in your impressive catalogue. i came for the garak/reader stories (no pun intended!), but i stayed for the likes of koval, letant, vreenak, solok, vorik, and dukat.

again, kudos on continuing to post these fics, they're really well-written. some explicit material can be very tiresome and/or juvenile, but it's clear you have quality writing experience to back you up, and you have great instincts as to what works and what doesn't. keep up the fantastic work! <3

Aww, thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you like my stories! I'm just gonna come out and say it: I've been hoarding this ask in my inbox and re-reading it every time I needed a pick-me-up, so uh...I apologize for being so late to respond. This ask has just been giving me the very good brain chemicals. 😅

First off, thank you so so much for your kind words and for taking the time to jump into my ask box to say something about it! I really do appreciate your support! 💖

Second, omg you are (I think) the third person I have managed to convince that Babylon 5 is worth a watch! I'm so honored that I was able to give you the lil push you needed to finally try it out. (I'm still on Season 3, because I've been trying to savor new shows instead of unhealthily binging things to the point of sleep deprivation like I've done in the past lol.) I'm so glad you enjoyed the show and have new blorbos!! Bester is very intriguing to me. Neroon is Very Yes™. And G'Kar...OMG G'KAR. 😍 He's my main B5 blorbo, if I'm gonna be completely honest and truthful about the situation. (Hence the lorge, semi-elaborate fic that "Who Reads The Mind-Reader?" is about to become once the SoC challenge is over. 🙈) Andreas Katsulas did such an amazing job in that role that it's almost impossible not to like G'Kar.

As for my requests, when I do eventually re-open them, I will for sure be adding characters from B5 to my list of people I'm willing to write for, so I'm totally open to writing those for you! I'm so glad that you've been enjoying my other fics in the meantime! I've had a lot of fun writing all of them, so I'm always glad to hear that people are still enjoying them!

Thank you again for your super sweet words, my friend! 💖 I may not have any professional writing experience under my belt (yet), but I do have a couple of actual novels I'm working on, so at some point in the future when I've figured out the whole process of becoming a published author, that will hopefully change! Until then, I hope you continue to enjoy my humble little fanfics! 🙏💖 Happy reading!! Feel free to drop by any time!

#deepspacedukat asks #mugglebornprincess

[undertheknightwing]

Hi Cody! I really like your blog and now I officially ship Gar/Jon! Would their ship name be GarJon or JonGar?

And your pfp is so cool! I haven't seen any bisexual representation for S&L's Jon, so seeing it automatically made me happy!!

I also adore Gar and Jon as characters! I definitely relate to Gar a lot (I hope something cool happens to him in season 4, same thing with Jon) ((although I haven't seen season 2 of Superman & Lois, yet)). Jon is my favorite because he seemed like the nice popular kid (which reminded me of the popular girls I went to high school with), plus he seems so sweet and fun to hang around! (((I adore it when characters are close to their parents)))

(I wanna be their lesbian aunt, like, I'd be Jon's adopted lesbian aunt, then when Jon and Gar get together, I could be his lesbian aunt-in-law) i have no idea if that's an actual thing or what

Oh and one more thing, I'm gonna start reading Escapism soon! I love the premise so much!

Hi!! I'm so glad you like my blog!! 😁❤❤

I've called their ship many things.. sunshineshipping, multiverse boyfriends, green kryptonite, but I stuck with the simple GarJon just because it sounded the best in my head. But you’re allowed to call their ship JonGar, GarJon, whatever you want!

Thank you! I made a bi Jon icon and a bi/trans Gar icon for pride month since those are my headcanons. (Bi Gar is canon though,, thank you Ryan!) I wish Jon was bi like he is in the comics but this is The CW we're talking about, making Jon bi would mean they'd have to write him a proper storyline and they would never do that 🙄

Jon and Gar are the definitions of "best boys". Jordan and Ryan do an incredible job bringing the characters to life despite having barely anything to work with. Their acting always leaves me with stars in my eyes because it's just so full of emotion and has a powerful impact especially if they're angry and get a rare chance to express that anger.

Gar yelling at Dick in the batcave after being shot and Jon yelling at Jordan for spying on him with super hearing are scenes that will permanently live rent free in my brain. There's something satisfying about seeing the character who's expected to be a doormat and apologize for everything finally explode and say what's on their mind. Because if any characters in both shows deserve to blow up, it's Gar and Jon. Gar's treatment wasn't good from the beginning, no spoilers since you haven't watched the season yet but Jon's treatment has gotten so much worse in season 2.

Honestly, they both need to take a long vacation together to a beach to relax and forget about all the shit they’re put through. Let them go on evening walks on the beach, play mini golf, get a nice dinner, and crash in a comfy condo.

I hope you like Escapism!! It's my pride and joy!! 🧡💚🧡💚

Thank you for the lovely ask! It made my day!

#cods.talkin #asks and answers #gar logan #jonathan kent #titans #superman and lois #titans/superman and lois #garjon

[pilvimarja]

Cobra Kai episodes 8 and 9

I still have the final episode left, but I figured I'd write some thoughts about episodes 8 and 9 before they all blur together in my mind.

Soooo there's now a super duper mega tournament that's so much bigger and more badass than the All Valley. Lol of course there is. I totally understand that all shows have to raise the stakes as the story grows bigger or they risk becoming stale. Cobra Kai has done an exceptionally good job with this in its five seasons and I'm honestly a little surprised that they still manage to make this karate war feel as engaging and fresh as it does! But at the same time, bigger isn't always better and the All Valley will always feel much more special and important than some global tournament.

Oh, Tory, how I love her. Peyton is getting so much good stuff to work with and she's become such a deep, complex, tragic and heroic character that I think she's surpassed a lot of the original favorites (not naming any names). My heart broke when she went to Sam to tell the truth and Sam reacted with anger, but then my heart absolutely soared when Sam went to Tory and now my girls are joining forces!

I've also loved Sam this season. She's had a great little journey and I'm so happy that she's found peace within herself and a proper reason to fight. Not really a fan of the way they still keep forcing her into those romance plots, though. The whole thing with Miguel and her is getting really old.

It feels incredibly good to see Johnny and Daniel finally working together for real. This season is feeding the Lawrusso fandom well, even if it's dampened by the shadow of Johnny's partial character assassination. I think this is what a lot of people expected and wanted to see in season 4, but we only got a taste of it back then. And I honestly don't think Johnny and Daniel were ready for this kind of a relationship until now. And there's still some hesitation, like did you notice the look on Johnny's face when Miyagi-Do made it to the big tournament? It was such an obvious "gimme a hug" moment, but he and Daniel just fist-bumped even though Johnny hugged Chozen a second later. I think a hug between him and Daniel is still too intimate unless they're drunk lol.

I also think that if Johnny had had even half of the rushed character development they've given him this season back in season 4, a lot of his character arc would feel more earned and organic. Now they're basically just speeding through his journey from emotionally stunted manbaby to a somewhat functioning adult in the span of ten episodes and it's giving me serious whiplash. Well, actually it's more like six episodes because those first four episodes were just a rehash of what we've already seen in previous seasons. I suspect they were written to appease the dudebro fans, but I don't know if even the dudebros enjoyed that shit. It stuck out like a sore thumb.

The adults going clubbing was so CRINGE!!!! But I also kind of loved it haha. I dig how episode 9 has now become the Lawrusso Date Episode in each season. Also, Chozen's crane shirt was gorgeous and he's so freaking funny and endearing when he's drunk! And as much as I hate the overflowing heterosexuality (seriously, what the fuck is up with the overflowing heterosexuality and traditional family values this season??? Who is responsible for this odd shift?), I think it's sweet that Chozen loves Kumiko and I hope the two of them can make it work.

Oh! I almost blocked it out of my mind, but the scene where Master Kim made Tory break her hand on the training dummy was HORRIFYING! I felt sick to my stomach watching it. And you know, Tory could now basically shut down the entire Cobra Kai enterprise just by going to the police and telling them what their senseis do to minors! Though I guess Terry would just buy his way out of any legal trouble...

#cobra kai #cobra kai season 5 spoilers

[moveslikeanape]

hey! i'm sorry you've been so busy lately, i hope things calm down for you soon. though i know the holiday season can be a busy time for a lot of people. also, i agree that it's really surprising to me that there's no little mermaid art book. several other films have gotten either brand new books or rereleases of their existing ones to coincide with live action remakes or anniversaries, for example i was finally able to buy the mulan book when they rereleased it because of the remake in 2020, and i have the snow white one that was released in 2012 for that film's 75th anniversary! but there's nothing for the movie that started the disney renaissance and basically saved the company back then.

i actually did recently buy the book "the little mermaid: the full film script", and it has some interesting production notes and concept art... however it's only 150 pages or so, and they're small pages. the actual dimensions of the book are much smaller than any other disney/pixar art book i own, so it's not as easy to see the details in the art and its 150 pages contain nowhere near the same level of information and artwork as the art of frozen's 160 pages do, if that makes sense. not to mention that the reason it's called "the full film script" is, of course, that the script of the movie is also printed throughout the book, taking up space on the pages. it only cost me $15, so i ended up considering it worth it for the price, but i really wish there was a full art of book for the little mermaid in the same vein as the others!!

do you own the tarzan chronicles book? and if so, i'd be curious to know what you think of it! i saw a review of it that made it sound fascinating to read, and mentioned that it had a section detailing the research trip the creators took to africa while working on the film. the art of mulan also had a section about that that i loved reading.

-🌟

Thank you so much! It's mostly just work being crazy and way to many projects at home on the go, lol.

You're lucky with the Mulan one! I bought the first edition maybe 6 or 7 months before they rereleased it. Oh well, it's so worth it!

I have the TLM Full Film Script too. What's in there is nice, but I completely agree with you it's no match for a proper art book. Hopefully someday Disney will give that movie the art book it deserves…

I do own it! I bought it back in 1999 (was actually bought with my first paycheck from my first job!) Haven't read through it in ages though, but there's so much brilliant stuff in there. The section on the research trip is wonderful, lots of great photos and sketches too. I've been hoping to find a cheap copy of the book that I can take apart and scan. It's such a big book, and too heavy and awkward to scan… plus I'm worried about damaging my current book. (Also, someday I need to get my hands on the LE signed version, but it's always way too expensive!)

Will definitely give you a heads up if I ever find a decently priced copy!

#strangers like me

[tropicalrpg]

13 just came back from the only creative writing class i'll probably ever take

i have an american friend to whom i've described redação class as essay-writing. that's not quite it; i didn't write an essay until, well, i wouldn't say i have. i was supposed to write an essay last year and one a couple weeks ago, but none of them are proper essays, like i'm writing now and would like to write more. (i tried to write an essay last year that i have yet to finish. i think it would be really interesting, even if i turned into an article.)

redações, especially in the enem model (and maybe i'm being a little bitch for writing about something like this in english, but consider this an introduction to the brazilian school system) (consider; you: consider this; you: my nonexistent reader, my guinea pig, my english-speaking pet), are anything but creative writing. here's the basic idea: you get a prompt upon which you have to build an argument. you get 30 handwritten lines. you have to reference another field of study, and in the last paragraph you have to propose a solution to the prompt's problem that fulfills a series of criteria (deed, agent, means, finality, details). you have to write this in up to a couple hours but ideally less than one, with no access to any type of resources to do research or base your argument on.

i hope it comes across, in the instructions given to write a redação enem, that it's just ridiculous. it does not build better students, better writers, or better citizens. you have to excell at writing redações enem in order to get into university, and that's basically all you need to know how to write them for; how do they make you better scholars? in what way do they prepare you for higher education? i study "letters", or what would be the equivalent to an english degree except it's not a portuguese degree but instead a languages, literature or linguistics degree; the second i got into uni, the only thing i would ever use a redação enem for would be to get a job. and that job is correcting redações enem; i have never, and know that i will never, have to write any sort of text anything like those ever again.

that class was not essay-writing. i described it as such because going over the details like i went here would have been wasted time, and it's a lot easier to work with approximations, like how american high schoolers have to write essays, we have to write redações. it's a similar exercise in practising textual skills, how to write, how to argue. it doesn't work the same, however, and perhaps the one thing i'd say the american education system has over ours (theoretically, not in practice) is the presence of essays from a young age.

essays are great. this creative writing class, which is not a creative writing class because that's not a thing teachers can offer as a class, but it is largely a class about producing each a singular essay (nonacademic, thank the lord; i've written academic essays already, but it's the still scholarly but truly creative pieces that i'm fascinated by) that has all the freedom in the world to be creative — this creative writing class is quite simply and quite literally a class on essays. reading and writing them. i have never read so many essays and learned so much, and i've never appreciated a literary genre more. this feels like true literature. the peak of nonfiction and fiction alike. i don't know; it's hard to find the words for it.

this is all to say that on monday, i think, my professor talked about writing with limitations. he asked if any of us had tried that (i could not allow myself to mentions things such as, i've written for fanzines that required certain lengths; required me to rewrite certain scenes; i've participates in ship week events that had me writing different stories of thousands of words day after day; i won nanowrimo in 2018, at fourteen fucking years old) and then mentioned how we are always writing with limitations, and, as an example, he cited writing tweets. i use twitter a lot, i always have and it might forever be my primary social medium, but i don't feel limited there. i feel more limited here, not only on this blog because i put a pressure on myself to write posts as long as i can make them but also because originally i wanted to write every day. i failed both ways.

i also failed if we look at my unnamed inspiration. they're so fucking poetic. to be frank, these days i hate their poetry, but their prose, good god. i hate their poetry and i hate their plot and i hate the characterisation they give to characters i love, but i adore their prose. and when they wrote every day for a couple months, they didn't push out blog posts that read like linear essays, not like i do. i start on a subject and get right to it, or even if not right to it i follow a line of thought. is that because i've grown up writing these disgusting, succint argumentative texts? i cannot say. but i can't suddenly write maybe two thousand words about swans in love. if i can get myself to be honest about my past and my present, i'm already doing more than i ever have. my writing has never been about me. maybe that's why i find essays so liberating.

2023.04.26

#essay #essaywriting #nonfiction #anonymous #personal essay #essay writing #creative writing