#I'll reconsider judgment then!

[its-all-stardust]

Sugar || 5

Masterlist || Part Four || Part Six

Steven Grant/Sugar Mommy!Reader

Word count: 3.2k

Series Summary: You meet Steven in a museum gift shop and feel an instant connection. Before you walk out the door you decide, perhaps against your better judgment, that you need him to be your sugar baby. Now you just need him to let you treat him right.

Notes: I'll admit, this chapter isn't my favorite but it works lol. it's mainly here to establish certain things to make it easier for me in the future, so sorry if it's not as good as the others!

You call Steven immediately, but he doesn’t answer. Hanging up without leaving a message, you text him.

Is everything okay? You quickly type. You don’t want to immediately ask why he left. Maybe he was uncomfortable staying the night but didn’t want to say anything.

But then, why did he ask to kiss you again before you left him for the night?

As frustrating as it is for Steven to pull such a vanishing act, it hurts worse. You’re so attached to him already, and the thought that you might have done something to upset him or that he might not want to be around you is crushing.

There’s no immediate response to your text, and you try not to let this minor hiccup affect you. Surely something must have happened for Steven—sweet Steven, who apologizes for not responding to a message within a few minutes—not to have gotten back to you yet.

You’re left standing in the middle of your apartment, lost.

With a shake of your head, you try to put the worst from your mind. For all you know, he could have gotten called into work early and forgot to let you know on his rush out the door. You open your banking app and pay Steven for the night, making sure to deduct whatever you were planning to pay for the pleasure of waking up to him in your home. You also make a mental note to give Steven a firm talking to when you next see each other.

You didn’t hear from Steven for the rest of the weekend.

You’re reminded of one of your babies from a few years ago—the one who ghosted you after one date—and like a parasite, the idea that Steven might have done the same thing latches onto you and refuses to let go.

Monday morning, you’re determined not to let a mere sugar baby distract you—even though you don’t think of Steven as a “mere” anything—and steel yourself for what could be the inevitable end to a short-lived relationship. Steven taking two weeks to talk to you before agreeing to be your baby was one thing. It was another to agree to follow your rules, only to disregard them entirely. If Steven can’t commit to you the way you want him to, or if he decides that this isn’t for him, then you aren’t going to keep him.

It could even be a good thing, you try to convince yourself.

Maybe this could all be a lesson you need to learn about picking babies off the street.

You shake your head to rid yourself of the thought. You’re catastrophizing again. You’re making this personal, a reflection of yourself and your abilities. At the end of the day, Steven is an employee you hired because you thought he could do the job. After seeing some trouble from him, you’re merely reconsidering his position with you.

You ignore how much your stomach roils at the thought of letting him go.

At lunch, your phone vibrates in your purse—where you had tossed it earlier when you couldn’t stop staring at it from its usual place on your desk.

The sound makes you pause, questioning if someone is really calling you.

It might not be Steven, you tell yourself as you slowly, calmly reach into your bag and pull out your phone.

But it is him, and the weight in your stomach eases a little.

You stare at the phone, at Steven’s name on the screen, until it goes dark and stops vibrating. Then, a moment later, a notification pops up, announcing a voicemail.

Still, you wait. It’s only fair, after all.

Immediately, your phone starts buzzing again, Steven’s name displaying again. This time, you answer.

“Steven,” you say, your voice low. Although you’re glad he called and persisted with the voicemail and a second call, you’re still upset with him. He better have a good reason for disappearing.

“I am so sorry,” Steven says after a moment, perhaps registering your tone and knowing how upset you are. “I think…I think something’s wrong with me.”

“Why do you say that?” Despite your confusion, you keep your tone even, neither believing nor disbelieving him until you have more information.

Steven hesitates. “You’ll think I’m mad,” he mumbles, seemingly more to himself than to you.

That’s what hits you: your baby is going through something he’s afraid you’ll reject him for, that you won’t be there for him. And right now, regardless of how you feel, he needs you.

“Steven,” you say, softening your voice and letting a hint of worry peak through. “What’s wrong? Explain it to me.”

“I don’t remember this weekend,” Steven quietly admits, deepening your worry. “I mean, I remember staying at yours, but then suddenly I’m home, standing in the bathroom, and it’s Monday. And I know you’re mad at me, I know. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what’s going on.” Steven finishes, sounding on the verge of tears if a few haven’t slipped out already.

“Baby, hush,” you soothe. “I’m not mad at you.” Not anymore, though you are…concerned.

“You’re not?” Steven asks, hopeful.

“No, I’m not. But what happened? Are you not feeling well? Did you hit your head?”

You want to ask if he took anything, but hold off. It doesn’t feel like the right time, and it could potentially make him defensive and resistant to help if you do.

“Nothing like that. Mainly tired, like I haven’t slept in days, but nothing else.”

Strange, to say the least.

“Have you gone to the doctor?”

“N-no, I haven’t. I wasn’t sure…Since nothing’s wrong—”

“Steven, you blacked out for an entire day. That’s not normal,” you insist. Steven goes quiet. “Go. For me. I need to know you’re okay.”

“Okay,” he agrees softly.

“You’ll go today,” you order.

“Yes. Today.”

You think for a moment, biting your lip. “You’ll come to my place later. Meet me there when I get off work.”

You don’t know if inviting him back to your place is a good idea. There could genuinely be something wrong with Steven, something happening to him. But there’s also a chance he’s keeping something, some bad habit or another, from you.

You briefly rethink your decision to forgo a background check on him, but even still, you don’t make plans to follow through with it.

Despite the warning signs, you still want to see him, need to see him. You need to know he’s okay and be there for him. It takes everything in you not to go and be with him now, your anger forgotten and your worry about what he may have gotten himself into ignored.

He’s yours, and you want to take care of him. It’s almost as if, in the short time you’ve known him, he’s done something to you.

“I’ll be there,” Steven says, sounding more sure than anything else he’s said so far. “I…I need to see you.”

You try to ignore the warmth that floods through you.

Steven looks lost as he stands outside your door. He hesitates when he sees you, unsure whether to go to you or wait for you to reach him and unlock the door.

He looks tired, like he indeed hasn’t slept since he was here on Saturday, and his clothes are disheveled, more so than usual. You’ve yet to hear what happened to him over the weekend, what caused his blackout, but you already have a half-formed plan to keep him here tonight and put him to bed as soon as possible.

When you get close, you say his name softly and hold out your arms.

Steven looks relieved as he steps into you, his arms tucking under yours as he buries his face in your neck. He melts into you, and the two of you stand outside your door, each drawing some comfort from the other.

One of your hands goes to his head, threading your fingers through his curl and holding him tight. You kiss the side of his head and wait, letting him hold onto you for as long as he needs.

He clings to you so desperately it makes you wonder if he has anyone else.

Why is it that you, his sugar mommy, are the first person he came to? Regardless of your feelings toward him, surely he has family or friends he could turn to in a moment like this.

You don’t recall him mentioning anyone, except his mother, off-handedly. From how he made it sound, you don’t think she’s even in London.

Maybe you’re all he has.

The thought makes you cling to him as much as he is to you. With Steven in your arms, it’s easy to decide that no matter what’s wrong, you’ll help him. Maybe it’s something where it wouldn’t be right for him to keep being your sugar baby, but you won’t abandon him.

When Steven shows no sign of letting you go, you whisper, “Let’s go inside.”

He reluctantly pulls away and nods, though his hand quickly finds yours.

Once you’re through the door, you kick off your shoes and lead Steven to the couch. You’re a little surprised he doesn’t immediately curl up to your side, but he seems to realize the two of you still need to talk. And whatever he has to say must be serious.

“Did you go to the doctor like I said?” you ask when Steven doesn’t speak.

Instead, he deflates, falling back against the couch, tossing his head back, and staring up at the vaulted ceiling.

“She’s as stumped as I am, I think. Couldn’t find anything without running tests and…” he trails off, sounding defeated.

“And?” you prompt, squeezing his hand. He still hasn’t let go.

“She said it could just be sleepwalking or something like that. But for a whole day?” Steven lifts his head up, staring at you in confusion. “How can I have been asleep for a whole day? Not to mention getting from your flat to mine. Ugh, and then Donna.” Steven falls back and rubs his free hand down his face.

You had forgotten he was scheduled to work today. “You went in?”

“I was supposed to. Supposed to be there at nine, but came to staring at myself in the bathroom mirror with my phone ringing in the other room.”

“I take it Donna didn’t handle your absence well.”

“Oh, perfectly well, actually, if you don’t count the, you know, yelling and threatening to fire me. Had to tell her it was an emergency and promise that it won’t happen again to get her to stop. I don’t think she even believed me.”

You can practically see the weight of it all resting on Steven’s shoulders. Waking up after a blackout, knowing something is wrong, and then having your manager chewing you out immediately after? It would be horrible.

“Oh, Steven,” you soothe, pulling him to you so you can hug him again. “What about those tests the doctor mentioned? Are you going to take them? I could pull some strings and get you in to see a specialist sooner.”

“You don’t have to,” Steven insists as he wraps his arms around your waist. “There’s a chance it’s nothing… Just wait and see and hope it doesn’t happen again.”

You have to bite your tongue to keep from arguing. You’ve never had to worry about a baby’s health before, and you’re not sure if insisting that he seek treatment goes beyond the bounds you set for the relationship or if Steven would even appreciate you inserting yourself into that part of his life. You don’t want to tell him what to do regarding certain aspects of his personal life, but you still worry.

“Did you tell your family about what happened?” you ask instead. If you can’t tell him what to do about his health, maybe they can.

“It’s just my mum,” Steven says quietly, as if unsure what he wants to tell you. “I left her a message. She’s always traveling, so it’s hard to catch her. She’ll listen to it when she can, though. She always does.”

Something about his tone is slightly off, making you wonder who he’s trying to convince.

“Can we just…go back to normal?” Steven asks, sounding exhausted. “I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“Normal, huh?” you concede, running your fingers through his hair. You’ll play everything by ear for now, and Steven seems well enough that you’re willing to drop the topic for tonight.

“Please?” he mumbles into your neck.

“Well, it just so happens that I got something in the mail for you today.”

Steven lifts his head, brow furrowed. “What’s that?”

You start pulling away, preparing to stand. “I’m going to need you to sound more enthusiastic than that, baby,” you say, kissing Steven’s cheek.

“Right, sorry,” he says, his face flushing like he’s already forgotten your roles. “I love it already. Thank you.”

You can’t help but laugh as you walk over to the front door where you left your bag. Grabbing the card you had safely tucked away earlier when it arrived at the office, you walk back to the living room and stand directly in front of Steven.

You flash the card at him, showing off his name and making Steven’s eyes widen in surprise.

“There’s no limit; you can use it to buy anything and everything. It’s already activated, and I have notifications set up on my phone, so I’ll know when you use it.” Your eyes narrow as you watch Steven visibly swallow, nervous. “And when you don’t.”

“I-I…” Steven stammers but doesn’t quite finish whatever he’s trying to get out.

You watch him closely, looking for any sign that he isn’t interested in this kind of play, the slightest hint that he’s uncomfortable.

Something dark shifts across his features then, twisting his expression toward a scowl. But then it’s gone in an instant, Steven’s expression returning to what it was, his soft brown eyes so trusting. You have no idea what to make of it.

Though it leaves you confused, you decide to continue but are mindful of any other signs that you’ll need to stop what you’re doing. What you have in mind isn’t intense, but some of your babies found it degrading and didn’t like doing it.

“Tell me why I should give you this card,” you say.

Steven shakes his head automatically. “I don’t deserve it.”

You raise an eyebrow. “No? But aren’t you doing this for the money? And all the other things I can give you?”

He looks away briefly before meeting your eyes again. Even though he’s hesitating, nothing about him says he doesn’t want to be doing this.

“Yes? But you already—”

“Steven.” His mouth snaps shut at your tone. “Repeat after me: I deserve an unlimited credit card.”

He flushes again and mumbles, “I deserve an unlimited credit card.”

“Louder.”

Steven repeats himself, only slightly louder than the first time.

“Again,” you order, still not satisfied.

When Steven repeats the words this time, he does so at a normal speaking volume—not too loud, but perfect for you.

“Good boy,” you praise, reaching out to hold his face with your free hand. You can tell this was hard for Steven, and you hope, one day, asking for the things he wants will be easier for him.

Steven closes his eyes with a contented sigh and nuzzles your palm. You can’t help but smile adoringly at him.

“Do you know why you deserve it?” you ask, keeping your voice low, soft.

He opens his eyes and shakes his head slightly, careful not to knock your hand away. “Because you’re my baby, and you’re special. Say it.”

Steven lets out a shaky breath against your palm. “Because I’m yours, and I’m special.” He doesn’t mumble or stumble over the words. His voice is clear and even, making you let out a pleased hum. You’re a little proud of him.

“Since you want it so much, beg for the card,” you say, watching him carefully.

Steven seems a little taken aback, and you drop your hand from his face.

“You can always say no,” you remind him. “This doesn’t have to be something we do. No hard feelings.”

When he doesn’t immediately respond, you take a step back and go to hand him the card. He’s done so well already, and you won’t push him into something he doesn’t want to do. Just because he’s your sugar baby doesn’t mean he’s a toy to toss around as you please.

But then Steven’s hands are on your hips, holding you in place.

“Please,” he whispers, staring up at you beseechingly from his place on the couch. Your heart starts to pound, elated.

“Please, what? What do you want?” You need him to say the words; you need to know that he wants to do this, too.

“Please give me the card,” he says, his voice still so quiet.

“You don’t sound like you want it bad enough.”

Steven shifts on the couch, moving close to the edge. His hands on your hips tighten ever so slightly. He licks his lips and says, “Please, can I have it? I promise I’ll use it. I’ll-I’ll buy so much stuff. Please?” He sounds happy to play along but isn’t sure quite what to say. You’re pleased, though, that he’s trying.

“Please what?” you prompt, hoping he’ll get the message, that he’ll like that part of the relationship too.

Steven stares at you for a moment. Then, “Please, mummy,” said in a breathless whisper.

Smiling brightly at him, you lean down and kiss him. Steven eagerly returns it, gripping your hips tighter and trying to pull you closer even though his head is already tilted back at a slightly awkward angle.

“You did so well, baby,” you say when you pull away. During the kiss, your hand somehow found its way into Steven’s hair, gripping it just enough to move his head how you wanted. You slide your hand back down to his cheek, brushing your thumb against the flush you find there. His pupils are blown wide, and his mouth is slightly open as he lets out shallow pants.

Standing up straight, you hold the credit card out for Steven. “Buy whatever you want, and you’re not getting off this couch until you do.”

“Right now?” Steven asks, sounding a little dazed. He reluctantly releases your hips to take the card, allowing you to sit beside him.

“Yes, right now. Pull out your phone.” You settle in against his side, throwing an arm on the back of the couch, around his shoulders when he settles back, so you can hover over him. “Do you want one of those giant TVs? A gaming system or a computer? What about getting the fixings for a saltwater tank and getting Gus an exotic friend?”

“I… don’t know,” Steven says, taking his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it. He still seems overwhelmed by the whole idea of having such an outrageous amount of money to spend. You affectionately brush one of his curls away from his face.

“Don’t worry, we have all night to figure it out.”

Series taglist: @multific @uncle-eggy @kezibear @local-mr-frog @peachyrue-777 @kpopslur @tejasvkris @thewinterv

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#moon knight x reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #moon knight fanfic #x reader #sugar series

[ggomos-maribat]

3 | in which Jason Todd is saved from a catfish

Part 3 of No Mr. Wayne You Can't Adopt Me! | Masterlist

Jason didn't visit the WE building often and he preferred not to anyway. But he had to drop off case files in Bruce's office and receive a lead from the Replacement. He had his phone on one hand, and envelopes in another as he entered the lavish room. Upon finding the space empty, he dropped the files on the desk and ventured outside to ask the assistant.

"Where's Bruce?" His eyes landed on the petite girl, hair neatly tucked in a ponytail and face curled up in concentration.

"Bathroom." Not once did she unglue her gaze from the monitor. "You're chatting with a catfish by the way."

"What?"

"Your phone. Tinder? That match of yours is a catfish."

Jason looked at his phone and then back at her. When did she even see? He'd heard about the girl, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Personal assistant to Bruce for nearly five months already. The Replacement described her as a miracle worker. Dick liked her because she was good with kids. The demon child said she was eccentric. And Bruce? Every time he talked about her, Jason sensed that he had a new potential adoptive sister.

Though witnessing her behavior firsthand . . . Jason wasn't sure what to think.

"How'd you know?" Jason checked his screen—Gail, a stranger he managed to chat up so he could go undercover during their scheduled dinner date. Partly a cover, but partly just to meet someone new.

"It's obvious by how she replies and that profile photo is clearly fake." She shrugged.

"It's not." Jason was starting to have doubts. Was he a 'boomer' with technology after all, because of his death and revival?

She finally looked at him properly, though bearing a very very judgmental gaze that almost made him squirm. "A catfish is—"

"I know what a catfish is," Jason grumbled a bit too hastily.

"I really advise you to reconsider, Mr. Todd. Sooner or later, this possible middle-aged scammer will try to rob you of your money." Marinette lent her attention back to the computer. "Then ghost you."

"What, like you can find me a better partner?"

"For fun or for long-term commitment?"

Jason opened his mouth yet no sound came out. I don't know if she's joking or not.

Marinette spoke again after his lack of reply. "If you're looking to pursue a real relationship, I suggest considering those who are already close to you. But if it's just a fling, I'll be happy to find potential dates according to your preferences."

He frowned. He already invested too much effort and time befriending his match. But his subconscious betrayed him by letting him think of someone when she uttered her first statement. A red-haired someone. Damn it.

He snorted and started to walk away. "Whatever. I can get my own dates, thank you."

Unlocking his phone once again, he started to make a background check on 'Gail' while looking up what 'ghost' meant.

***

Bruce walked up to his assistant's desk. "I just passed Jason and he seemed out of it. Do you know what happened?"

Marinette only glanced at him for a second. "You don't need to know the specifics of it, sir. Let's just say your second son might not be a bachelor for life after all."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

***

The night was chilly and serene for some odd reason. The dry cloudless sky was a blessing for the city, granting it a peaceful ambience despite, still, the crimes occurring into the late hours. A few vehicles hummed on the road, streetlights buzzed while flickering on and off, and shadows of stray animals crept up window ledges.

Although Gotham was quiet, Bruce's heart wasn't. He fucked up. His grappling gun was cracked from a scuffle earlier that night, and the nearest most convenient place to get a spare was his office in WE. He managed to grapple through the window before the tool finally fell apart.

Now, I just need to find it . . . Batman started rummaging through the drawers, opening all the secret compartments he knew. He was certain he'd left it in some hidden nook, separate from where he kept his backup suit and tools.

He found the grappling gun at last, nestled amongst dusty office supplies inside a box. But the second he lifted it, the door creaked open.

"Who's there?!"

He felt the coldest shiver right under his skin.

He completely forgot Marinette was staying in the building for overtime. There she was, brandishing a kitchen knife at him (where did she even get it? The break room?) and if she wasn't menacing before, she certainly looked menacing at that moment.

"Batman?" She narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing here? Are you stealing from this office?"

Bruce's eyes slightly widened beneath his cowl. Fuck secret identities. Situations like these were always frustrating. He quickly hid the grappling gun away from her view before saying, "I had something to retrieve from here."

He needed to chant to himself: don't you dare use your soft voice. She doesn't know who you are.

Marinette scoffed. "With Mr. Wayne's agreement?"

"Yes. We had a previous deal. He knows I'm here."

"Oh really?" She reached into her pocket and brought out her phone. "So if I call Mr. Wayne right now to confirm, he's going to agree with you, yes?"

His grip tightened on his only escape plan. If I can just get to the window . . .

"Don't move!" Marinette held the knife out as she called his number. "Or else I'm throwing this knife at you."

Bruce wanted to believe that she wouldn't have the skills to actually hit him with that knife, but a part of him wouldn't take the risk. His assistant's steely eyes were piercing him through the dark, almost reminding him of the times when he missed important appointments she consistently reminded him of.

And of course, the phone continued ringing because his business phone was all the way back in the Manor. After no response, she stepped forward with the weapon still out.

"Since he can't confirm at the moment, I'm keeping you here until the police arrive," she told him.

"You can let me go," he replied. "Bruce Wayne is an associate of mine, I've no other reason for being here."

"You're investigating him, aren't you? You have no right to break into his office!" She scowled. "You're so nosy because of your damned paranoia."

"He helps fund the Justice League. There's no reason for me to investigate him."

"He has no interest in things like that; he already funds most of Gotham."

"Hn. What if I told you this was actually my office?"

Marinette scoffed. "I believe Mr. Wayne has more dignity than dressing up as a bat furry every night to beat people up."

That did it for Bruce. Firstly, his mind went blank at that comment as he wondered how he got an assistant so competent that it was backfiring on his alter ego.

Secondly, he was hearing laughter.

He forgot to turn off his comms.

His hand flew up to his earpiece at lightning speed to turn it off. As a split-second decision, he flicked a Batarang to pin her sleeve to the wall and make her drop the knife, before he shot the grapple and swung out. He was afraid that the longer he stayed there, the higher the chance he'd actually reveal his identity to her.

But when he landed on another building, guilt immediately took over. He turned on his comms again. "Oracle, do you have eyes inside the office?"

A long sigh sounded out from Barbara. "Yes, B, she's a big girl—she freed herself from the Batarang."

He let out an inaudible sigh of relief.

". . . And I saved the video recording of the whole thing." To this, laughter echoed into his ear again.

"Tt. You shouldn't have thrown the Batarang, Father, she wasn't at fault." Damian's voice cracked through. "She heard and intercepted an intruder, albeit in a dangerous manner, and she called to check if what you were saying was true."

"I'm sorry, I panicked," Bruce grumbled. He had to make sure to give her a bonus that month. 

#maribat fanfic #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #maribat #maribat fic #maribat marinette dupain cheng #NMWYCAM #PA!Marinette

[himexyandere]

Obedience Is Hard to Come By

Pairing: Yandere Butler x Female!Reader 

Word count: 577

Content Warning(s): Possessive behavior, age gap, brat taming, spanking

A/N: This is a short drabble I had rattling around in my head because I absolutely love the idea of butlers disciplining a bratty princess 😍 Next, I'll prolly upload some misc. yandere HC's!

Your duties as a princess were not too abstruse, nor were they necessarily hard to fulfill. That didn’t make them easy, however. Oh no, they were far from simple, you soon came to realize. Or rather, your loyal and extremely uptight butler did his very best to remind you just how demanding being a good little princess was each night you returned to your chambers. 

“Your posture during dinner was utterly abhorrent, my lady.” The sneer was evident in Alistair’s tone, even if you couldn’t see his middle-aged face, graced with sharp features, a strong, clean jawline, and wrinkles decorating the undersides of his steely green eyes. 

For a man who currently had you laid out over his knee, nightgown bunched around your midsection, and wrists tied at the small of your back, he definitely didn’t act like it. That was the kind of man Alistair was, after all — someone who could maintain his composure in most cases. Well, unless that case involved you openly grinding against him like you did after breakfast earlier in the day.

You had a feeling that your posture wasn’t the only thing compelling him to punish you now...

“And in the presence of a potential suitor... Tsk, you know better, I’ve taught you better than that.” 

Ah. 

Now that you took the time to recall the dinner with the supposed suitor, you should have guessed that it would’ve upset Alistair. After all, your butler wasn’t exactly the sharing type, nor did he ever intend to give you up to anyone. As far as every suitor was concerned, he would find some excuse, some reason to urge your father, the king, to reconsider.

He trusted Alistair’s judgment, as did you, but you did have to admit that it was only a little astounding that all of your suitors so far have had dirt dug up on them, effectively ruining their potential to be your husband. 

You wouldn’t go as far as to say that Alistair was planting evidence, of course — but that didn’t stop you from wondering if your butler was actually a lot more influential than he initially let on... 

“Are you spacing out on me, princess?” The velvety baritone of his voice brought you back to reality as you turned your head to glance at him over your shoulder with a wry smile gracing your features. 

“Not at all, Alistair~ I’m taking this punishment very seriously, can’t you tell?” The brattiness in you was beginning to rise to the placid surface once more, creating ripples and prompting Alistair’s patience to wear thin. 

His reply to your smarmy remark came in the form of his gloved hand swatting at your exposed rear, hard, the impact creating a loud and resounding “smack”. You squealed indignantly, startled but not surprised that he’d spanked you.

Alistair did it often, after all, since your brattiness knew no bounds more often than not. Still, part of you couldn’t deny that you did enjoy the punishment just a tiny bit. 

“I know what you’re thinking, princess—and no, I do not intend to leave this room until you have learned your lesson,” Alistair’s hand was still resting on your ass, which was already beginning to thrum with pain, even after one hit. “Count them.” 

Even though you were certain you would be ending up in the same position again sometime in the near future, it was nice to pretend to be good and obedient… For the time being.

#male yandere #yandere #yandere male #male yandere x reader #yandere fanfiction #yandere drabble #butler x reader #yandere butler #original character #original male character

[5and3nevermind]

It's quite complicated to explain why I don't see them getting together in 2016 and clearly me saying it's unrealistic isn't a favorable thing to say here either so I'll refrain from speaking on this further.

Oh, I’m sorry you feel that way! I was curious. As I’ve said in response to previous asks, I had also considered the possibility that my timeline was off and wondered about 2018 or even later. (Although I did end up coming back around to 2016.) I was just wondering if you’d noticed something I’d missed.

Here’s a cute ot7 pic for you:

Previous ask

Another timeline ask

(Looking through old asks and comments, I’ve said numerous times that I’ve reconsidered my timeline and am open to other opinions on this matter. I wonder why you feel this “isn’t a favorable thing to say here.” I’m a little confused! I also feel like I’m constantly modifying my opinions: “Personally, I tend to see…” “if other people see it differently, that’s ok!”, etc. I guess it’s hard to express an opinion and not sound judgmental.)

#ask

[pascaloverx]

FELLINGS — EXO K.J

PREVIEW

Summary: You and Jongin live wanting what you two can't have. For example, he wants to win over your best friend and you want him.

Warnings: This fanfic will describe some hot romantic moments and use of inappropriate language. In the future there may be both smut and moderate use of violence. Readers are warned. This fanfic will feature some members of EXO as characters but they are not part of a Kpop group in this scenario.

CHAPTER ONE

The imperfect day definitely exists. Not that your routine days are good, but today is proving to be a challenge. Your best friend was late to tell you that there will be an engagement dinner tonight. She is engaged to her newest boyfriend, who, by the way, despite being handsome, is also controlling. While I was responsible for confirming who will appear. You then went to the office where you work as a secretary for one of the most renowned businessmen.

"You're late, you know?" Kai says as soon as you enter the office. He is wearing a suit that is somewhat clinging to his body. Not that you should notice your boss's body.

"It won't happen again, sir. But I must point out that you almost lying under my desk is unprofessional." You say almost laughing, very subtly. He looks at you with a knowing look as if he liked what you said.

"Blessed is the day I accepted you into the company. That way I wouldn't have met one of the best people in my life and fortunately because of you, I met Luna." Luna is your best friend. Kai is kind in thanking me for having met Luna, as they actually knew each other before I became his secretary. Luna is a friend I made at school where I was a scholarship student during my adolescence. Kai and she were neighbors before Kai's parents sent him on an exchange program to a foreign country, and they lost touch. Years later, at a company gathering, Kai and Luna reunited because of me.

"I don't know if you can thank me for that. I was just the reason for your reunion. Which brings me to remind you that Luna invited you to her engagement dinner. Yes, I've already checked your schedule, and you have the evening free. In fact, you have a meeting with the majority stakeholders in an hour and lunch with that international model who was being considered as our next spokesperson. And your tie… it's a bit crooked." You speak while looking closely at Kai, reaching for the iced Americano he drinks every morning in Kai's hands, fixing his tie and collar. You can never quite explain it, but your fingers always tremble a bit when you touch your boss.

"What would I do without you?" He asks, genuinely smiling, of course, trying to pretend that Luna's wedding isn't affecting him.

"Probably get your own coffee and check your own email. Should I have someone bring your fancy black suit, in case you decide to attend the dinner?" You say as you finish tying Kai's tie. He looks surprised that you already know he's going to decline the invitation but will likely reconsider later.

"Am I going to be judged if I don't go?" He asks, and you laugh. How could your opinion matter in a matter that doesn't concern you?

"Kim Jongin. You're a grown man, and Luna is a grown woman. You have a past that I can't even specify. How could I judge you for not wanting to see the woman you have feelings for getting engaged to someone else?" You speak in an authoritative tone while staring at Kai with the most judgmental facial expression you can muster. After all, shouldn't he be the one to swallow his feelings and witness the person he desires loving someone else, just as he can't see an old flame getting engaged to another?

"I love it when I stress you out enough for you to call me by my name instead of the nickname. Go ahead and have them bring the gray suit I wore to that dinner where I reunited with Luna. I'll be at the damn engagement dinner. I hope you'll be there too," Kai says seriously as he sips his coffee, and you step back a bit. Knowing him for so many years has given you a certain confidence in predicting his actions.

"I'm the maid of honor, of course, I'll be there. But I'm not sure about the time I'll arrive; my boss tends to be very relentless and bossy. You might get there before me." You say in a playful tone. He looks at his phone, replies to two messages, and then turns to you as he prepares to enter the meeting room.

"Send me the address of the dinner, and you can take the rest of the day off. I'll be looking forward to seeing how you handle being a maid of honor." He says seriously, watching your reaction. You shake your head in disbelief.

"I don't need the day off; I'm perfectly capable of handling both business matters and personal affairs. Thought you knew that already." You say, not wanting to spend the day overthinking the upcoming dinner. Kai smiles slyly, as if to say he knows you quite well.

"Y/N, you're my employee and friend. If I give you a day off, just say thank you. And if you want, I'll let you buy a new outfit with the corporate card as a bonus for the hard work you've been putting in. Now, I'm off to my meeting, and if you're not heading home, consider yourself fired. See you later." He says authoritatively, staring at you. You're left speechless, and he walks away while you accept the offer. Sensing that tonight promises several complications, you grab your things and head home.

Continues...

#exo series #exo fanfic #kim jongin #kai x reader #kim jongin x reader #kai masterlist #kim jongin fanfic #reader insert #female reader #exo members #Spotify

[17redeye]

Tabasco - Part 2

Tabasco Pt. 2 (part one here)

A S2 Ep10 #Hannibal drabble

Hannibal was ecstatic. The meat Will presented to him was easily identifiable as a portion of tenderloin most likely taken from Ms. Lounds. Relatively lean, it was a lovely cut of meat, even if it was a little ragged around the edges.

Will was learning quickly and Hannibal couldn't be more delighted at the presentation of another gift. This one is all the more significant in its tacit acceptance of his proclivities.

"I'll make you a pork Lomo Saltado. We'll make it together."

Now, the hardest test: "You slice the ginger."

Will looks momentarily pained at the joke but gives Hannibal a wry smile nonetheless.

Good enough.

The meal came together quickly, especially with Will assisting in its preparation. Sentimentality pressed in on Hannibal's emotions as he mused on how it would be to have Will with him like this all the time. Not just a weekly dinner after therapy but enjoying each other's company every night.

Hannibal was starting to hope that Will had finally moved past thoughts of judgment and reckoning. That he was beginning to see the beautiful partnership that they could have together.

As they set the table and settled into their places across from one another as equals, Hannibal again wrestled with the emotional turmoil besieging him. Not once in his long life has he shared this aspect of himself with another who knowingly consumed alongside him.

He picks up his fork and knife while waiting for Will to do the same before beginning their meal, but Will is leaning back in his chair, reaching into his pocket. Hannibal notices his heart rate rocket and feels it pounding in his jugular. He had hoped that this meal was symbolic of Will’s acceptance, but he could never have dreamed that Will was this far along in his evolution. That he might be ready for them to truly be together as one.

Will spares a glance at him after retrieving what Hannibal believes to be a token of betrothal, but he quickly averts his gaze to his plate as he twists the cap off of another miniature bottle of that abhorrent sauce.

“Will, please," Hannibal tries before Will can betray him like this, but it’s too late.

Will has already upended the entire bottle of pungent, acrid sauce all over his painstakingly presented dinner. The fumes are once again burning Hannibal’s nostrils, and this time his eyes are burning too. Attempting to blink the stinging sensation away, he stares at Will once again, astonished at his casual impertinence.

“Everyone has different tastes, Hannibal.”

He seems positively mirthful at his own joke now, and Hannibal is realizing that this is, in its own way, a punishment of Will’s. Apparently, they’re not as far from retribution as he had hoped. He decides to reconsider killing Will tomorrow; after all, there is no need to spoil their dinner any further tonight.

***

Thank you for reading ❤️I might have a part 3 in me.

Part 3 here

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #murder husbands #ficlet #fic

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #80

I rested for most of the day today. In so doing, I had a realization.

Truth be told, on a near-constant basis, I'm plagued with a wide variety of doubts and insecurities, like most anyone with a trauma history. Thanks to the power of "pathological projective identification" (I'm so glad that this is a phrase that I now know!), I had been forced to internalize, as a small child, the notion that I am fundamentally defective, wrong, strange, and inferior to all other humans. While I am at a point now where I understand rationally that all of this is false, these messages have been ground into my bones, and I am still trying to root them out and replace them with better things. Just because something gets ground into our bones doesn't mean that that's who we truly are or who we have to remain forever.

I thought about my biological family, with whom I've severed all ties. I've thought about my own growth and learning over the years. I imagine if they saw me now, they would look at me and see a very stupid, naive, and weak person who has all the wrong ideas about how the world works and about people in general.

And you know? Old me would have deferred to their judgment of who I am and what I stand for instead of trusting my own. Old me would have tried to adjust myself in order to better suit their definition of what is the "correct" way to be a human, to change my worldview to something harsher in order to better suit their definition of what "strength" is. It's not quite that bad for me anymore, but still, when I think about the notion that they would most likely vehemently disapprove of who I'm becoming, I feel more than a little sad, and still a part of me wonders if maybe they were right about me all along - that I'm nothing more than an oblivious weakling with poor judgment, who is far too open, and does not have enough perspective for my perceptive abilities or my general manner of thinking, feeling, and being to be worth a damn.

But then I realized. Given that I've grown past them in a variety of ways, why should I continue to see myself as beneath them, and continue to view my judgment and manner of being as inferior to theirs? Given that they still make choices that are destructive to themselves and to other people, I think it might be wise to reconsider how much weight I place on what they might think of me.

The people in my immediate circle know, understand, accept, and love me as I am. And shouldn't that be enough, even if the rest of the world was my enemy?

And… I suppose more importantly, given that I am a person who does my best to stand for compassion and mercy, shouldn't my own approval of myself and my own faith in my judgment and perception be enough as well?

…I'm going to work on it. I can't protect the people around me if I'm questioning my own integrity every time someone who doesn't understand me acts like they know more about who I am than I do. I can't try to protect you or other fallen folks if I am constantly questioning the validity of the kindness and mercy I've been trying to learn to embody. I don't know exactly what I'm gonna do yet, but I am surrounded by a wide variety of very amazing people, and I like to think that I'm reasonably intelligent; I'm sure I'll figure out something if I pay careful attention to the things going on around me.

Hey, Sephiroth? Are you resting properly? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you hydrating and nourishing well? I know you're supposedly superhuman or some shit, but you're still a man, still a squishy mammal, and as such, basic needs and comforts are essential. Please treat yourself as though you deserve nice things, won't you? Please treat yourself as though you deserve to feel healthy and good. And maybe then you can think about your childhood and your upbrigning and all the horrific circumstances you suffered under, and realize that none of it was your fault. Maybe you can realize that it happened because the people around you were so traumatized that they made bad choices while interacting with you, and not because you're a "monster" or an "aberration" or an "abomination" (because you are NONE of these things!).

I think I'll end today's letter here. Though I am slowly recovering from the trip and from the other adjustments that have been made to the structure of my immediate circle, I'm still pretty tired.

Remember you're loved. Not for what you look like. Not for the power you wield. Not for your status or your fame. But because you're you. Remember that even if you lost all of those things, there are still people in this world who would do their best to know, understand, accept, and love you as-is. Use that knowledge to muster up the courage you need to make good, wholesome, and loving choices. Use that knowledge to muster up the courage to be gentle, compassionate, and kind with your words and deeds; this is what it means to be strong in the real way. Do no harm, but take no shit, okay?

I'll keep writing to you every day until you come home to the people who care for you. We miss you.

Your friend, Lumine

#sephiroth #ThankYouFFVIIDevs #ThankYouFF7Devs #ThankYouSephiroth #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy vii crisis core #final fantasy 7 crisis core #final fantasy crisis core #ffvii crisis core #ff7 crisis core #crisis core #ff7r #final fantasy vii remake #final fantasy 7 remake #ffvii remake #ff7 remake #final fantasy vii rebirth #final fantasy 7 rebirth #ffvii rebirth #ff7 rebirth #final fantasy 7 ever crisis #ffvii ever crisis #ff7 ever crisis #ffvii first soldier #realizations #healing and growth #wholesome

[dangerously-human]

The biggest question I've been asking myself in writing these next two sections of Living With the Ghost of You has been, why did Lockwood think Lucy left? What would he have been thinking in those four months, and how did he get from there to the decision to use Lucy's Listening skills to convince her to reconsider? Obviously everyone kind of blamed Lucy's departure on her tension with Holly, but at the same time, Lockwood at least knew there was more to it. And being Lockwood, he surely blamed himself in some capacity - not entirely inaccurately, as it turns out - but I've still been struggling to wrap my head around where things really left off between Lockwood and Lucy, because we only ever get her perspective, and his only secondhand, through Lucy's notoriously unreliable interpretation.

Anyway, for fic writing purposes, I've been bouncing around The Creeping Shadow, and I skipped ahead in my THB reread a bit, and oh. OH! I can't believe I didn't put this together until now, but: Lockwood tells Lucy, shortly after the "you know I'd die for you" declaration, that he avoided her after the Wintergarden case because he was afraid of what would happen in an operative situation, if her Talent put her in danger. He was afraid of how she was using it, to connect with ghosts on a personal level (rather than as mere objects to be destroyed), but also afraid of what that could do to her, and of making the wrong call re: defending her. Later, pulling her back in via a specialty Listener job tells her that he trusts her to use her Talent well, which she desperately needs to hear (after all, that's why she left, she's doubting herself and her judgement again, that's her trauma, she could hurt someone if her judgment lapses). It also says that he's no longer afraid of how he might react (though that part I don't think Lucy really gets). I'll have to see if I still think this after I finish this reread of The Hollow Boy, but I think Lockwood knows at this point (as in, early on in THB, if not before) that he loves Lucy. (I originally thought her leaving was the tipping point for him, but he's the more self-aware of the two by far, I really need to give him more credit.) He knows that he's going to try to defend her in ways she doesn't want him to, and maybe part of his fear is what he'll reveal through his reaction to Lucy being vulnerable that way. It's going to reopen old wounds about Jessica, yes, but it's also going to open up some pretty big feelings about Lucy herself. And Lockwood's trying to say, underneath Aickmere's, that he's willing to try anyway, but now Lucy has had that confrontation with the hollow boy, and she's aware of being Lockwood's weakness without realizing that she's his strength, too. And in fairness, Lockwood hasn't really put in the work yet to figure out how to live for his love of Lucy, he's only just coming to realize that's something beyond his willingness to die for love of her - so they both do have a lot to work out in themselves first. Which is why the "I'm leaving to protect you from yourself" trope actually works here.

Ooh, I'm yelling!! This is the best part of writing fanfiction, when it prompts you to really dig deep in your understanding of canon. Doesn't always make the words flow any easier, but at least now I know what I'm aiming for, because I know the endpoints I'm trying to connect. Big aha moment for me tonight.

Oh, no, and now my heart is breaking all over again about Lockwood's efforts to convince Lucy not to leave. No wonder he got angry by the end. He's just displayed an incredible level of vulnerability with her - about his past, and also getting as close as he can (yet) to admitting that he loves her - and she turns around and leaves him, without really explaining why. Well, dang, that stings. I mean, I had all of that already pieced together, but the extra factor of her seemingly running away from his feelings for her - ah. Ouch.

#personal #writer probs: fanfic edition #lockwood & co

[bioethicists]

Love that post but can you maybe not use the term "post covid"? People still die from covid, and there's millions of people like me who are now disabled from long covid. Things are getting worse bc society went through a full denial around summer 2022 and decided the pandemic was over. Seeing people use "post covid" really guts me bc I have to isolate at an insane rate bc its likely that a second round with covid would made my condition worse, and im already in a really rough shape. It feels like the solution to the pandemic rn is to sacrifice a chunk of the population to achieve a "post covid" return to comfort. Absolutely no judgment btw, its the main narrative rn and nowadays its really just high risk people like me who talk about it, just asking to reconsider using it in the future.

hm, this is a really fair point! it also occurs to me that there can't really ever be a time in which we are "post covid" as covid will probably not die out. maybe post lockdowns would be a better term? ty for letting me know + i'll be more thoughtful of phrasing in the future!

[lilithbaeastro]

Helloo

So I wanted to ask what are your opinions on a Aquarius Woman and a Virgo Man?🤔

Thank You!🤍

Virgo men & Aquarius Women

These are my personal opinion only

[ I'll tell this considering as dominate signs ]

Aquarius women intelligence and calmness may easily attract Virgo men. Aquarius generally come off as detached even when they are the most kindest one once talk too, which will eventually give the impression of mysterious person, which again Virgo's find really intriguing.

If Aquarius women innovative/intelligent ideas come along with Virgo men practical approach and analytical ability, they can get huge success in business collaborations.

But at the same time you can't trust wholly on leaving them together. One minor disappointment, and it's all done babe.

Aquarius are generally non judgmental, going with the flow, doing things from heart(though they too are really intelligent and intellectual to go with their mind but they do things that make them happy), not forcing their thoughts on other, serious yet know how to enjoy their work, even daily activities are not boring regular type they always try to add a pinch of fun in their regular life.When she talks its to much hype, bubbly kinda interactions.

Where as Virgo's are judgemental, needs things to be perfect from them and also from pep around them, needs control over their life or generally everything happening around them, the schedule day to day activity, full analyse of how things will or should I say must be going. They are straightforward, but that might come of as rude sometimes as they don't like to talk much or with alot of energy. Point to point:)

Both have total opposite approach towards everything, but once combined for AGREED purpose《♡》 it's the best combination, but otherwise i-

I would rather say they will definitely have conflicts.

But ofc nothing is perfect again.

Virgo's are stubborn, even at some point Aquarius are too but if they get some time to get away with disagreed topic, and get some time to think or reconsider things. They might later agree if they see their is potential of benefits for them or even society.

Theirs alot of things that Aquarius women serves on table that Virgo men totally love. Virgo's always are sincere to their partners once that harsh part pass away and Aquarius women loves their sincerity towards them. Virgo men are principled one while aqua women loves to go wild and break barriers. Opposite attraction kinda case. Their strong competitive urge could be major turn on too.

Together if they work on their own flaws they will make a powerful match overall. But sex life would se still pretty low. Aquarius are kinky always wanna try something weird, un conventional so does in sex while Virgo's are rigid type, prefer same stuffs with low risk.

Overall ♡ 69%

Compatibility: 75%

Sex: 47%

#astrology #writing #spirituality #art #education #ask blog #love compatibility with zodiac signs #virgo #aquarius

[chouchinobake]

Ten characters, ten fandoms, ten tags

i've been tagged by @b-lizi, thank you dear x) sooo *cracks knuckles*

Nico di Angelo, 『Percy Jackson series』 : this character is one of the most interesting in the whole riordanverse, and my fav obviously. he's been through so much, and alone, he faced death, horror, time, his own feelings, the way he's been educated, loneliness, literal hell, and still he's fighting and stays a sarcastic badass bitch with an enormous heart. love my emo boy <3

Grell Sutcliff, 『Kuroshitsuji』 : my supreme goddess *^* no seriously this woman is my big crush of the series (with Gregory Violet, sweet baby), and i wish we get to know her backstory soon because yana you can't drop an information like that and not developing it, you c a n ' t. i really like the way she just lives her life the way she wants and doesn't give a shit about what others can say about her. she's so strong, and completely insane, and funny, and a sweet dumbass, and passionate, and i love her sm dnfkfksfn

Shougo Makishima, 『Psycho Pass』 : as an antagonist, he's to me the best. one. ever. i mean, his motivations to do what he did were just so valid?? he did use the wrong methods, but he was so right, he even realized what was wrong in this society before the main characters did, and he's the one that enabled them to open their eyes and really think about how dystopic their system is. many would compare him to light yagami but i do not agree. he sticked to his convictions from the beginning to the end, know : "i want people to be able to think by themselves and make their own choices, may them be bad or good". what a king

Double Trouble, 『She-Ra』 : my absolute crush of the series. they're so chaotic, so sassy, so dramatic, that's everything i want, that's everything i need. AND ofc they're the first enby rep i saw in a piece of media x) if they were to order me to join the dark side i totally would lmao i'm a chaotic evil for them

Irene Adler/James Bond, 『Yuukoku no Moriarty』 : she's THE love at first sight of these last years. i didn't have any crush in ynm, and i thought it was strange because they're all so good(-looking lol). and then i understood my heart was only ready for her, call me a silly romantic person but arghkgkfl she's incredible. her convictions are beautiful and she uses her status to break the law in order to piss the nobility off and destroy a society she thinks is rotten to the core. thinks outside the box, doesn't give a darn about people's judgment, assumes her choices, doesn't let people walk all over her. she's perfect

Jung Myeong-Seok, 『Extraordinary Attorney Woo』 : okay i haven't even finished the series yet, i have two episodes left tbh, but i couldn't not mention him. he's kinda different from the type of characters i like, but i recently realized i liked characters like him : strict, serious and professional, but who actually are big softies with a golden heart and who care for others. he completely got me the sec he smiled, i'm so weak omg. (andhessogoodlookingimlosingit)

Haruka Hashida, 『Blue Period』 : my tastes in side characters being so high in this list i just realized. anyway. this man is so weird and yet so down-to-earth and logical it's almost weirder. his thoughts about art, painting and likes and dislikes are just so true, he manages to bring the readers to really think and reconsider their perspective. he's also the one that helps the most the mc re-think about his own art and kinda frees him from his prejudices and the limits he imposes to himself. supportive character/20

Pina, 『Beastars』 : mamma mia is anyone surprised by this ? he's the kind of sassy bad bitch i love and manages to hide his big heart and actual care for his friends behind a sarcastic and self-absorbed attitude. he's so goddamn funny, pretty (in an animal beauty scale) and just brings the peps and light atmosphere the series needs since it gets darker and darker

Esmeralda, 『The Hunchback of Notre-Dame』 : i'll only be talking about the disney movie here because i haven't read the novel yet (gonna do it soon, victor hugo is a god). she's my favorite disney character tbh, for a lot of reasons. she's to me the most altruistic, just, kind-hearted and lovable character of all. she has every right to hate religion since the whole world hates her for "religion said so". she has every right to ask for something for herself since she's always had to fight in order to just survive. instead, she asks to a god (that she's been told hates her) love and justice for those who live without, reminding that everybody is a child of god and has the right to be loved, and doesn't ask for anything for herself. she plays with laws, she helps others and she fights for justice with joy, passion and insolence

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, 『Bungou Stray Dogs』 : i really hesitated between him and chuuya, but i think i have more things to say about aku. i didn't like him at first, but i progressively understood him and had affection for him, he's my son now. his psychology is very interesting, especially when linked to his past and the original author's life. he's a really sad character, but also kinda funny, touching and such a stubborn brat omg. his evolution his the best and i look forward to see what he'll become (and i prey so he can actually have a chance to become something fjfkxks guys i'm so scared rn)

i talked sm lmao, never ask me about my fav characters i'll give you 500-page essays. i don't think i can tag many people, so it won't be "10 tags" sorry sorry. soooo i tag @gradually-watermel0n @shimy-deko @mariaoz @orphabirds @the-bloody-sadist + anyone who wants, have fun x)

#anime #black butler #kuroshitsuji #grell sutcliff #bungou stray dogs #bsd akutagawa #she ra #double trouble #blue period #haruka hashida #yuukoku no moriarty #irene adler #ynm james bond #extraordinary attorney woo #jung myeong seok #disney movies #the hunchback of notre dame #esmeralda #psycho pass #shougo makishima #pjo series #nico di angelo #beastars #pina beastars

[cactus-chowder]

.

#I'm taking a break from Divergent & reading a book without a big following (How Rory Thorne Destroyed the Multiverse) and #I'm being asked... to join the main characters in harshly judging a baby #for crying a lot & being needy #the baby is currently a small child & the narrative is assuring me that he legitimately has bad character #I'm told he's very bossy & it makes an adult character sad & his sister resents him for it bc it stresses out the adult character #overall the story is entertaining & worth reading! the book isn't like. Bad #it's just interesting to me to see the author so certain that this... this baby... is at the top of a power dynamic that hurts other people #the author seems to be laying the foundation for a feminist point about gender discrimination in childhood #boys getting away with stuff & girls being expected to be dutiful #but adults create that... #I promise that there is no baby in the world who has bad character & hurts adults & siblings out of malicious baby-entitlement #pretty sure the needing things situation is standard with babies #no thank you to this invitation! I do not resent the baby! please write some more about the baby growing up #I'll reconsider judgment then!

[lordeasriel]

ATTWN: A Look at Miss Brent

I keep circling around the idea of writing And Then There Were None meta, like a full, proper analysis of the novel, but I just can't settle down on how to do it, cause I do have many thoughts, but I can't seem to organise them in a way it will make sense. But-

I was thinking about Miss Brent today, and she's not exactly a character I have that many thoughts compared to Vera or Armstrong, but she certainly has my interest. What strikes me stronger about her is her complacency, in a way.

Let's look at the novel first: here's this sixty-something woman, a spinster who takes on girls from local charities/orphanages to train them into proper maids or whatever. It's not an unusual thing for that time based on the rest of Christie's novels, it seemed like a common occurrence for the period. At any rate, she's very righteous, uptight, her belief is almost borderline fanatical, she never hesitates over her "innocence" in front of the accusations, and the thing is: she doesn't deny shunning the girl away.

Unlike the others, who remain resilient on their innocence (Lombard the exception cause he literally confessed right away), Miss Brent never denies that she did refuse to help Beatrice. In her own mind, she didn't do anything wrong - and if we're going there, in its fucked up way, she technically didn't do anything wrong. She had no familial attachment to the girl, she didn't have to do anything for her legally speaking; morally, of course, she should have but we don't arrest people for being morally corrupt lmao Let alone death sentence them. *coughs*

But what gets me it's her complacency. You know, I'm blaming this on the windy day, but thinking about her, sitting by herself almost all the time (including when she died), she never does anything. Unlike the others, Vera included considering how Christie often writes the women isolated, Miss Brent never gets involved in either investigating or helping them to find a way out; she just sits and knits and eventually bosses Vera around or say some mean stuff to someone. She doesn't act, which is odd for us as a reader; I mean, if I was in her spot I would have already made a signal for help, even with the bad weather lmao This book heavily traumatised me anyway--

Miss Brent doesn't act, that's my main point. In her head, I suppose she expects some sort of divine intervention, in its way; not a miracle, but you know, she expected her righteousness guaranteed her safety. She sees the other deaths as punishment, she thinks them all guilty, perhaps not the General or Wargrave, but I've no doubt she considers the rest of them wicked and deserving of the punishment, but never herself. She didn't do anything wrong, she has got nothing to feel sorry for. There is a whole section, where Vera asks Miss Brent if she is not afraid or if she simply doesn't mind dying. To which she reacts exactly like I said before, like she was above them all, like death wouldn't come for her.

Now, I will just vaguely go over the show because I think their choice of handling her was an interesting one. I like most of the choices made by show, except the ending which I'll save for another day of ranting, but Miss Brent in the show behaves similarly, but her background gets deeper. For one there was two key things - I say two because I've seen two different interpretations of this - and they were 1) repressed lesbian and 2) predator. Now, these two could coexist with each other, she could have been taking in girls to take advantage of them, but I don't know, I think it would be hard for her to do that always, so I like to think if repressed lesbian was it, then it makes more sense for her crime and her reaction. It would be related to a feeling of betrayal - "I've given you a home, a job, affection and you still went behind my back to be a whore" - and it's something Miss Brent would probably not acknowledge. She was always too religious, too righteous, so Beatrice probably haunted her more in death than she did in life: no one would believe this ragged girl over any accusations - even if there was consent on her part. But that's just beside the point.

What I mean for the show is, they go in a different direction. Miss Brent's reactions over the murders are a little more in line with her religious dynamic for the show: when Tony dies, she makes a little prayer, she worries about Mrs. Rogers state when she sees her passed out (despite the fact she humiliated her earlier over being meek and weak and so on), she has a judgemental attitude towards Vera, but even that comes from a place of almost understanding? She still judges them harshly, but she is a lot less harsh to the ones she consider less harmful (aka she is absolutely distasteful about Lombard, whose crime is easily the worst crime in the show and she thinks so).

Of course, all of her views and beliefs and behaviours are based on her own lifestyle, so she is a bit blind and biased - when Lombard points out about the missionaries crimes in Africa, after she calls him out; or when she states she couldn't imagine crossing paths with a man like him, despite the fact she knows well enough they're all there because they're guilty - so she is bound to hypocrisy every now and again. But her fanaticism from the book is turned into a proper, religious attitude; she does abide by the Bible, she condemns very little her other companions (I mean, she still judges Vera over her youth and her inertia, she judges Armstrong's lack of calm, she judges Lombard because well, because of his Existence™ lmao) She is, of course, judgmental and vain and arrogant, but this is less cartoony and more realistic. More importantly, because her beliefs are much more ingrained in her life, she is afraid. She is genuinely afraid and that is an important, key change that I genuinely like.

Miss Brent has faith, at first, that they will leave the Island, so she stills acts very coldly at first and of course, she still denies her guilt, she still claims she did the right thing and Beatrice caused her own undoing. But, the show pursues the idea that Miss Brent, upon being reminded of the event, starts to feel guilt: when she is praying she hallucinates Beatrice (hallucionation was a choice they did to convey these feelings, but you could just claim that's a memory in her head); and more importantly, before her death - which happens the day after she hallucinates - her demeanor changes entirely. She goes from trying to stay calm and resolute before the tide, to feeling weary. That's important because unlike Book! Emily, she is fully aware she has committed a sin, and now whether that is her neglect of Beatrice's pleas or her own feelings for her, that's beside the point. The point is this woman realises she is very close to meet her maker and the burden of having sinned wears her down.

Miss Brent also adds "It's only wool" when Vera is pouring her coffee (which I had to crop cause Gif size), which is her redirecting her distress to something mundane (in another scene later, Vera mentions how doing the dishes is a mundane task, which she finds soothing. In fact, seeking a sense of normalcy is a recurring theme for the show, but also for the book) and ordinary. Vera, of course, notices her distress over being hunted; she shares the feeling, and I don't want to focus too much on Vera because I'll talk about her eventually later, but this shows how Miss Brent changes drastically.

On their first conversation after the dinner, Vera's impression of Miss Brent is of an uptight, self-righteous, straight-up cruel woman and she avoids her if she can help it, and truth be told, Miss Brent does act very badly and says bad things, Vera is not being touchy about it. So when Vera lays the coffee tray, she is ready to walk away before Miss Brent addresses her (she even makes a dry remark on "There is no milk, I'm afraid", which is meant to spite Miss Brent's earlier attitude over asking for perfect eggs after Mrs Rogers died and so on), and Miss Brent talks so unlike herself, a weariness that makes Vera reconsider and come back, to pour her coffee. She feels sorry for Miss Brent, because she finally cracked like the others; Miss Brent knows now that no amount of faith might defend her from this killer, because this killer has got nothing to do with a justice kill.

She stays seated, knitting again, but when she reaches for the coffee she hesitates. She realises Vera could have poisoned it (before entering the room, since she watches Vera pouring the coffee), and then she puts it down. There is a sense of danger in her, and she has no desire to die, unlike in the book where she so casually just stays behind, unafraid in her own attitude of superiority. I like this change a lot; I think showing her fear before her God enhances her religious mania a lot more, because she truly fears Divine Judgement, because she understands, deep down, that she did a bad thing; maybe not murder - I mean, it wasn't murder after all - but she still did a morally bad thing. If there is a Heaven, it won't be for her.

#and then there were none #emily brent #attwn meta #this is my tag for it from now on i'll keep it separate from hdm

[anothertinystory]

Do you think I'll get house points if I act like I care? 〚Part I〛

» Because whatever regards Hermione Granger may have had for him only seconds before - they quickly diminish at the Professor’s statement. She glares at him again and Draco can’t help but show her a teasing smile. “You’re very welcome, Granger.” «

*note: I’m not an english native speaker, so please excuse any grammar mistakes. I’ll gladly fix them if you point them out to me.

Read Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV & Part V

Draco Malfoy glances around the room, evidently bored. He just finished brewing a potion Professor Slughorn assigned for class. His eyes promptly land on one despairingly looking witch. Her hair is disheveled even more than usual, a slight blush is covering her cheeks and her eyebrows are furrowed. She's frustrated, with the cause for it visibly before her, fume rising from the cauldron. Potions - despite her best efforts, doesn't seem to be Hermione's strongest suit and Draco stops himself from smiling at her defiance.

Behind him, Blaise Zabini starts to observe him and his eyes quickly follow to where Hermione is now silently cursing under her breath. "Maybe you should help her out" he suggests with a slight shrug of his shoulders. It's a preposterous idea, really and Draco is about to spat at his classmate for even suggesting it when from the corner of his eyes he sees Hermione grabbing one of the mushrooms. Her poor attempt at a potion is going to be an actual health risk any minute now.

With an annoyed sigh he stalks over to her desk and in one swift move snatches her wrist away from the cauldron, the mushroom still in her grasp. Her skin is soft and warm. He notices that involuntarily - and despite his better judgment it feels nice. Not that he would ever admit that. Hermione abruptly turns to face him, surprised at the sudden interference. Draco only gives her a dry look.

"You might want to reconsider doing that. Unless of course you want all of us to end up in the hospital wing." Her eyes squint and she gives him her best death glare while freeing her wrist from his grip. "How kind of you, Malfoy" she retorts, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "But I think I can handle myself just fine. I've read the instructions." He scoffs at that and almost contemplates letting her ruin not just her grade but the entire classroom. When she moves once more to add the mushroom however, he reacts quickly by taking it out of her hand entirely. Ignoring her complaints the Slytherin softly shoves her to the side and starts to quarter the ingredient with the knife that lays on the table. He takes one piece and adds it to the cauldron before picking up another ingredient, squeezing its juice into her potion. With a slight 'poof' it changes colour to a scarlett tone and simmers down a little.

Draco barely has time to register the annoyance on Hermione's face turn into surprise and then acknowledgement before Professor Slughorn appears at their side. "Perfect, Mr. Malfoy. I'm glad to see you help out a fellow student. Ten points to Slytherin." With that Slughorn moves back towards the front of the class. The other Slytherins look pleased if not a little surprised at such unexpected praise for the Blonde but Draco barely registers that.

Because whatever regards Hermione Granger may have had for him only seconds before - they quickly diminish at the Professor's statement. She glares at him again and Draco can't help but show her a teasing smile. "You're very welcome, Granger." At that her mood only sours. "I certainly don't need your help, Draco Malfoy." She looks positively furious with him. He can't deny that he likes to be able to stir up intense emotions in her - to tease her but not so much as to degrade her. He's grown out of that and yet he's still on the borderline between good natured teasing and misled insults. Sometimes he's not sure he knows the difference.

Draco takes a step back. "Of course not." He just can't help himself but refrains from saying any more than that. He knows there's no need. She's already riled up enough as is. Instead he fakes an innocent smile and walks back to his desk, feeling Hermione glare deep holes in his back.

Unlike the Gryffindor witch, he’s in a good mood for the remainder of the class. 

#dramione #draco x hermione #harry potter #short story #fiction #draco annoying the shit out of hermione #a little less hateful than the original characters #hermione hates being told what to do #i have no idea what i'm doing #or where i'm going with this #might end up in three parts #also this has no actual title because i'm lazy #i've written the second part already

[torchholder247-blog]

Eric L Andrist-the man behind the curtain of baddoctordatabase, bad medicine database on fb, 4Patientsafety and The Patient Safety League

What follows is an exchange with Eric L Andrist (photo bust attached to this site), the man who runs the [email protected] blog where he re-posts articles about doctors accused of wrongdoing, often adding his own spin to the posts. In the exchange below we removed the doctors name and identifying information as the focus is Who is Eric Andrist? and the defamatory false exposure of Innocent doctors are posted on his sites.

Us: Charges were dismissed against Dr X and his medical license is active and unlimited. Dr X was and remains innocent of the charge.

Andrist: I already posted the newer articles. However, dismissal of charges does NOT necessarily equate to rendering someone "innocent." The article clearly says:

"In an unusual move, Circuit Judge X sealed the probable cause affidavit and case information at the request of Judicial District Prosecuting Attorney X the day before Dr X was taken into custody.

The Order to Seal Affidavit and Information document indicates the record was sealed on the grounds that if released to the public, it could compromise an ongoing investigation. In addition, the release of said information is sensitive, and it is necessary to withhold this information for a short time to ensure the investigations are not impaired."

So clearly there is an ongoing investigation.

Us: Your integrity is appreciated. The citation you post above are from reporters of Online & Bulletin articles of X date. Clearly from that date further 'ongoing' investigations transpired that the State dropped charges and reinstated Dr X's medical license 'in full without restriction'. Those two current legal actions verify 'Innocence' in that surely you are not suggesting that the State would permit the doctor to resume practice otherwise. You posted Dr X to your various social media Bad Doctor related sites solely on the basis of 'the Charge against him' yet 'the Charge against him' has been dismissed..and you now refuse to take down your negative posts. That decision defeats the otherwise good intention of your site. Since the ruling no further investigation of Dr X exists. IF you are suggesting that other persons are part of a current ongoing investigation, that has no relevancy to Dr X. Please reconsider and remove.

Thank you for posting the Online Dismissal article provided to you.

Andrist: Actually, they don't. That's not how the law works. Dropping charges does not equate to innocence. It just means there was not enough evidence to proceed with the charges. The state constantly lets doctors practice when they've done something wrong! We monitor the California Medical Board heavily. We have 3 doctors currently on the Sex Offenders Registry who are practicing with clear records!

My decision to keep up the information does NOT defeat the purpose of my site because he has not been proven innocent...they just gave up proving him guilty.

If you have documentation PROVING innocence, by all means send them to me and I'll post them. But again, dismissing charges does not mean he's innocent. There's a big difference.

In court, even a "not guilty" verdict by a jury does not equate to "innocent" As we saw in the OJ Simpson case, he was found not guilty by a jury, when he was clearly guilty, and later found guilty in a civil trial.

Us: I am trying hard to understand. I get what you are saying about other cases, but am only informed about the case of Dr X. Your website states "'Innocent' until proven guilty", the 'one' charge against Dr X was dismissed, not by the Judge, not by Statute of Limitations, but by the State Prosecutor..resulting in Dr X having no charges against him. He cannot be proven 'guilty' when there is no charge against him..nor any further investigation of him. Therefore based upon your site claims, Dr X is innocent...supporting removing your posts on social media. To take any action otherwise contradicts your website virtue of Innocent Until Proven Guilty...and becomes Guilty Until Proven Innocent. Our legal system is not perfect, but it is based solely upon that same legal system that your website exists.

Andrist: You don't seem to understand what "dismissed" means. Why do you think it relates to innocence? If someone murders their spouse and they get arrested just because they were there at the time, but later the charges are dropped because they simply couldn't find more evidence linking them to the murder, does that mean to you that the person is innocent and didn't kill someone?

Innocent until proven guilty is a phrase that only has meaning in a court of law. In the real world, not so much. People judge people guilty all the time. It's on my website as a disclaimer, not as my own personal belief. I don't put information in my blog personally, I only link to stories that other reporters have already written. The stories about Dr X are other people's words, not mine. It's there for informational purposes.

In the eyes of the "law," he is considered innocent until proven guilty. But in real life, that's not the case. We as people are not bound by the laws of the court to read the facts and make a judgment based on them.

IF he is guilty, don't you think his patients have a right to know the details of this story?

What is your relationship to him?

Us: I understand both 'dismissed' and 'innocence' in both lay terms and legal terms. I also understand human nature as it relates to judging/harming others on an emotional platform. Additionally I saw that your sites were merely re-posting articles written by others. The dialogue between you and I could go on exchanging philosophical views but cutting to the chase..what evidence do you accept to prove 'innocence' of anyone posted to your baddoctor related websites?

Andrist: First, who are you and why are you asking for this? Why isn't the doctor asking me?

Us: No story here, just trying to understand how, as the site manager, to work with you to remove the post and would appreciate your guidance on what is required. Please advise.

Andrist: Well, I won't continue the conversation until I know who you are and your motives. I've been contacted by companies before who did this same thing who were paid by the doctor to clean the internet. They gave me all kinds of lies trying to get me to take a post down including bribe money. They told me the doctor was proven innocent. Then I checked with the DA's office and it was all lies. So if you want to continue the conversation, come clean.

Us: I can't be held accountable for what others do. As you can attest, I have done nothing but provide you with updated Source data (articles, legal docs) to support a reasonable request. You claim you have 'no relationship' with the folks that submit to your sites, accordingly it is illogical to require otherwise of me. My request of what constitutes 'Proof of Innocence' to you is straight forward. Without knowing your requirements, the tasks is unreachable...as from a legal platform I have already provided you adequate documentation to satisfy my request.

Andrist: Sure it is. It's my blog, I can do what I want with it. I need to know where information comes from and if it's from a person, the motives for it. You could be lying for all I know. And no, you have not provided me anything to satisfy your request. You seem to think that a dismissal equates to innocence.

If he did the things he's accused of, why should his patients not have access to the information so they can decide for themselves? Why would you want to take that away from them?

Us: With all due respect, I ask again, what would satisfy you to establish Proof of Innocence? or is your site unamenable to ever removing a post?

Andrist: Sorry, I'm done talking if you're not going to tell me who you are.

Have the doctor contact me himself.

Us: I am sorry also. You could have simply told me that you never remove anyone once you make a post.

Andrist: Why would I say that if it's not true. I've taken a doctor down when he was able to convince me of his innocence. You've convinced me of nothing except being a busy body.

Us: Name calling, really? If what you now say was true, you would easily provide your site requirements to prove innocence. There would be no motivation not to produce the requirements, yet you refuse.

Andrist: What's wrong with name calling if it fits? I don't have to provide anything. I'm a patient safety advocate, my allegiance is to the public not the bad doctors. You're asking me for a favor, I gave you the requirements for me to proceed, and you've chosen not to. You'r choice. I've refused nothing...you just don't want to play.

Us: You are partially right, this is not a game. Your site while it does serve a great public good when the doctor is 'guilty', it is negligent to have no clear protocol for the wrongly accused to clear their name, given the harm your site causes the innocent..who are 'also' part of the public you say you serve. For that portion of the posts, the innocent, however small it may be, your website does a great injustice. But that does not matter to you, it's all about the game and power. Sad.

#bluefoggyday #andrist #4patientsafety #baddoctordatabase #baddoctordatabase-errors #patient safety league #eric andrist #notary #cali #valley villagers choir #bad medicine watchdog #calisplea #micra

[dangerouslylost]

Fine I'll rant a little

I need to be more vulnerable with myself and others so why not make a little post about how I'm feeling? I mean what's the worst that can happen besides being made my feelings are invalid or that I'm overreacting. anyways I'm just so upset with the constant comparisons that people make about me that knock them down and boost me up. I'm nothing. literally. I just get so worked up when everyone says "i wish i was smarter than you", "we get it youre the star of the team", "you can do anything/go anywhere you want and I'm not moving anywhere", "you do so much", and so much more. I don't know how to handle it just like how I don't know how to handle stress or manage my everyday life. it gives me so much pain because if I don't accept it then something's wrong with me for not and if I do I'm full of myself and rude. and I hate to be that way. I hate to be the one people "want to be like". because I don't deserve it. just like I don't deserve the friendships that I have or the people I've met. I deserve to be left like many have done. I don't want people to look at me and hate me for being this person they aspire to be when there's nothing inspiring about me. I should be flattered about it, truly. but how could I take such a compliment that puts me on a fucking pedestal? and the way some look at me sometimes is heartbreaking and gut wrenching and makes me want to just be able to shrink and crawl into my backpack and be forgotten. and I know I'm probably over analyzing. I do it a heck of a lot. but my conscience and my psychological demons tell me otherwise. they tell me you're fucking everyone up you're destroying each of them. and it's something that I kind of just can't take. I just want to be but not BE. just be. and also with people I'm not associated with, the assumptions and actions they do and feelings they have for me and all hurt and make me reconsider what's right. this is kind of a thing I've been battling with for years, my personal identity. like why can't i be a little more forgiving or a little more nice or a little more less judgmental or a little more hood or a little less feminine. things always come full circle and smack me in the face. I kind of just want to mold myself into something better with more light, but I'm stuck with all this unnecessary darkness. but I have it, I carry these issues. and I just don't know how to cope or handle everything that life throws at me because I'm not strong enough. 🔆