I wish I was better. Just... better...
If I was, I could do more and be more useful to people...
I could be better for others too and be able to give more. Instead I'm quite useless but there's nothing to gain from saying that, though I desperately need to because the thoughts are constantly stuck and I'm rarely, if ever much good for people who are important.
I often feel like I'm just not good for others on a fundamental level, I can't even take basic care or do basic things and it sucks... that's before I'm often too much or too little.
Anxiety peaking with a meeting I'll have take because of my own failure to do anything...
I'm just a rotting waste of life.
I hate being an ugly, useless, horrible monster...
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No one wants to put in effort for me or care about me and I'm tired of being so fucking worthless.
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I just push everyone away.. I should've died a long time ago.
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No one has ever checked on me when I disappeared. No one has ever given af if i disappeared or wasn't here or even noticed I was gone, no one thinks I'm beautiful inside or out, so why should my existence here matter at all why be surrounded by humans when humans just show me everyday how ugly we are anyway, why be here to make everything worse for everyone by being a burden when it never mattered anyway.
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I don't think I can be selfless anymore
I think I need to die
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I saw a couple things today talking about knowing your worth.... I definitely do agree with it but they never talk about how some of us just aren't worth much. Some of us don't bring any value. Some of us don't have anything good to offer. I realized this years ago. My worth is way low. Too low for anyone else to want. Not wanted anywhere.
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I don't feel like I should be alive, I constantly miss things and have no anticipation for the future, near or far...
I'm barely a person, I can't function like people, I don't have anything that defines me, I play games and I have a broad taste in music and then other stuff...
I'm a worthless mess.
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What I want in life is so far off from what I'll ever have and I want to fucking die
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we arent going to laugh, at least, everyone here that matters isnt. we care about you. im sorry that we couldn't overpower the soot-eaters, but once we lose hope, theres nothing left. dont give up, please :(? for me? -🥚
YEAH! we're not haters, we love you! we don't know what the story would be without you! you're important!
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I'm really not capable of being loved
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