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#I'm also saving for a laptop first so it may be a month or two
jojo-oliver · 9 months
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How to tumblr for artists… my own version
A collection of things that have been working for me, but may not work for everyone
~~~ your posts ~~~
!!!reblog your own stuff!!! you need to reblog your own stuff, there is nothing morally wrong with reblogging your own stuff regularly. in fact, it is morally right to allow the chance for more people to see your artwork.
~~~ queue it!! ~~~ my queue is 500 posts strong. maybe don't try to make your queue hundreds of posts strong in the same day omg but like… once every month or two i'll go through my whole blog and just scroll and "add to drafts" to every one of my own posts i have. then i'll use the "mass post editor" to add content warning tags. and add to queue, and shuffle. and then I write down what the date was for when I last added my posts to be reblogged on queue. this is helped by turning on timestamps for posts in tumblr "dashboard preferences" settings.
queueing is necessary and life saving for me. It takes out so much work with decision fatigue and the anxiety around posting. It also guarantees that even if I suddenly need time off or away from my phone, I don't just disappear and lose all traction. It also breaks the instant-gratification cycle that you expect when you finish an artwork. It's hard to keep creating when you post something and, when you're expecting to get that gratification, you get none... If you queue your new artwork to come out at a later time, you've separated that expectation - with time. It hurts less and contributes to a more consistent gratification thing instead of peaks and troughs.
~~~ tag ya stuff ~~~ when you're making a new post, the first 20 tags are what gets put into the searchable tags. do not feel shame for using lots of tags. shame is the mind-killer. tags are hard. hard to know what to tag a post with. hard to remember the tags. so I found some ways to help myself. maybe they'll help you too. dedicate some time towards just figuring out what tags you want to use. i have a list in my phone notes that i add tags to and reference whenever i'm making a new post. i have the phone right beside the laptop while i'm tagging so that i can just look at it and scroll. tags are the only way for people to find your artwork, other than people manually coming to your blog because they saw you somewhere. there is no algorithm. posting without tags, until you have an established fanbase, is throwing something into the void.
When I'm doing tag research, I look at what people seem to use - when you put something in the search bar, tumblr recommends you some that have a higher following, typically. Looks like this on desktop:
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if you like one tag, look at what other people who use that tag also tag their posts with. Observe and learn how this tag is used. search through a bunch of them and write them down.
here's what i got in my notes, for the specific kind of art I post and look for:
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these tags are sort of specific to me and the kind of art I make. You'll want to research your own tags, but this is an example of how I keep them organized to make posting more effective. I generally only write down a tag when it's got more than 2k followers. You might be tempted to use the tags with millions of followers, but I've actually found those a lot less functional for small artists. If your stuff doesn't immediately get a bunch of notifications, you're drowned out and pushed to the bottom much faster. But the bigger tags are better than no tags, so I keep them if I can't think of anything else to tag something with.
~~~ post at the right times….? ~~~
fridays and saturdays is when I post fresh new things... usually. every website has it's own peak hours, and you can find those hours in many different online articles that try to sell you social media growth services. tumblr is unique in having later hours.
here's some random graph from google images:
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please don't over think this. please don't let this consume the idea of when to post, preventing you from posting at all. it doesn't mean too much - if you post during very active hours, maybe your art would just be pushed down the feed faster. if you post at the end of hours, maybe everyone's going to sleep… if you post at inactive hours, maybe there's less 'competition'… if you post at the beginning of active hours, maybe that's just more time for your post to circulate for the day, if you have enough people reblogging it once it drops....
this also is in EST. So fuck the other time zones, I guess. I'm over here in europe knowing that the "best" time to post would be like 2-3am or something. It's like this for most english-speaking majority sites - higher traffic in north american time zones.
it's also worth mentioning that this is scattered as heck, compared to other social media sites. and it's not like, the activity times of your followers. it's not the best time to post for your niche. this is just tumblr, broadly. all of tumblr.
~~~ Plan ahead for annual dates ~~~
Your artwork will get more circulation if it's posted on a celebratory day. You could just put them on your calendar and if you're wondering what to make, look on the calendar for what's coming soon. For example, asexual awareness day, trans day of visibility, location-specific holidays, etc. Here's my phone notes thing with my own recorded annuals:
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I got these dates from googling and reading different articles, but I find that I still miss dates, and then I add them for next year. If you know of some I missed, tell me and I'll add them please <3
~~~ reblog other people's stuff ~~~
tumblr is sorta about ecosystems. things get passed around within groups of people that are all following eachother. to enter this ecosystem, you must engage and reblog other people's stuff too.
if you reblog other artists' stuff, sometimes they'll come over and reblog your stuff too. sometimes they'll follow you back. this is called becoming a mutual. I'll search specific tags for the kinds of people I want to follow and the kind of art I like - those are listed in the screenshot of my tag note under "Tags for finding new people".
I see a lot of blogs out there that are very clean, posts are tagless, and are only for the artists' content. like scrolling through a portfolio. I imagine this is good for people who are migrating to tumblr but already have their own established fanbase from elsewhere.
you don't need to do reblog other people's stuff on your art blog, you can do this on a separate blog. but if the two don't look very closely correlated, it's hard to tell who you are when you're interacting. and hard to make sure people know that you are the same person as your art blog. and you gotta remember to promote yourself on your personal blog.
~~~ have an art tag ~~~
make your blog easy to search!
if i go to your blog, and you've written 'artist' or 'sometimes art' in your bio, i wanna see it… it make me so sad when i don't get to see it. i want to reblog it. please let me reblog it :(
to make a tag on your own blog searchable, you don't need to repost it to add a tag. you don't even need to reblog it. you can actually just go back to the original post and edit it to add your tag. I've seen post people just have their art tag be something like #(blogname)art . you can see my own in my tags image above. if it's very unique, then it'll work tumblr-wide. I think that's good, since the tumblr search function is really weird. Otherwise it should still work if it's not entirely unique, people just have to make sure they're searching specifically your blog to see only your stuff.
I like to have a link in my pinned post where people can click to have immediately searched for my art tag. Convenience is king. Keep in mind that most people are on mobile, and if something isn't immediately clickable, they often won't find it.
~~~ be consistent and be patient ~~~
!!!this time will pass anyway!!! how many notes you have is not correlated with how good you are as an artist. wanting to earn something from your art means you essentially have two jobs. two potentially full time jobs. this shit's difficult. most of the job is promoting yourself. don't undersell how hard it is to do… don't feel bad for not immediately succeeding. I would write about how hard it's been to promote myself, but it would just be long and sad I think.
This isn't a full guide, please feel free to add more!!
I'm sure in another year I'll disagree with a lot of this, it will become irrelevant with time, and I'll have a lot of different opinions. Chip in and share what you've been doing? Teach me? This is very overwhelming. Don't do it all at once, just like, try one thing at a time, and see how it works for you. Your niche might be different. One size does not fit all. If you're confused about some of the things I talk about in here, you might be on mobile. I do most of my queueing and posting from the desktop browser version.
I will update this with more as things change, but I think you'll have to click through to see the updated post
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to-thelakes · 1 month
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Reader and Luke not being together yet (even tho theyre both stupidly in love with the other (duh)) and reader falls asleep on Luke in the jet after a rough case!!
statistical anomaly
pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader
summary; after a case drags you to the jet late at night, you fall asleep on luke's shoulder but not before overhearing him talk about you
warnings; fluff, tired reader, team being absolute chaotic little gremlins, spencer reid (my beloved <3)
notes; i saw this and despite how ill i feel (nothing is new there, literally been dying for six months straight(not actually, just feels that way)), i was kicking my feet and giggling because STOP, i need this and want this in my life. so, i may have written a little drabble hehe, is it edited? no. is there mistakes? probably, i'm tired. but the thoughts of luke alvez never stop so enjoy
(also i made this before a case instead of after bc i just honestly, idk, i just did, so whoops but same vibes)
masterlist
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It was late when you were called in for a case. You had just got home, texting Luke that you were home safe (like you always did) when Garcia called. She profusely apologised for calling you in so late but then asked you to come back. You did, without question. It wasn’t Garcia’s fault and there were lives to save; even if you were exhausted. 
A soft sigh escaped your lips as you settled into the jet. You were sat around the table. Luke was next to you and Emily and Reid were sat across from you. You all had the case files out, the laptop with Garcia on it was on the table too. Emily began to run you all through the case, preliminary discussions passing quickly without much of a word from you.
You were exhausted and your brain was lagging behind so you knew it was better to stay quiet for now. Once you were done, everyone slipped away into their own little group. Reid and Emily were discussing the case while you simply closed the case file. Luke glanced down at you.
“Everything okay?” He asked softly. You ran your hand across your face before you nodded your head but you weren’t convincing him or anyone. He gently took a hold of your wrist, resting it against the table, “Do you want a coffee?” He added after a moment. You shook your head.
“I’m fine, really,” You attempted to convince him but he wasn’t. He glanced around before his gaze returned to you, “Talk me through the background,” You requested. Luke looked at you for a moment and he eventually gave in to you. You were giving him the eyes and he couldn’t ever resist that. So, he began to read through the background that Garcia had managed to compile.
You really tried to listen but listening to Luke’s voice was calming you down. You felt the exhaustion seeping back in and you let your head rest against Luke’s arm. He - obviously - didn’t have a problem with it. Any excuse to have you close was good enough for him. He loved holding you, touching you, keeping you close.
“Did you get any of that?” He teased softly, noticing how your eyes had fallen closed. You mumbled something but he didn’t catch any of it. You were clearly exhausted and so he shuffled so that you could rest more comfortably against his shoulder, “I’ll wake you when the flight lands,” He whispered softly into your ear. You hummed happily in response before you let sleep take you.
It was hard for Emily and Reid not to notice. Reid was the first to suspect that there was something going on between the two of you but whenever he brought it up, he was shut down. But the rest of the team were catching on now.
“You know, a friendship, on average, takes 21.9 months to turn romantic,” Reid stated and Luke lifted his gaze up, cocking an eyebrow, “But you’ve been friends for nearly three years, so you’re both a statistical anomaly,” He added. Luke tried his best not to shift but it was clear that he was baffled by Reid’s sudden statistics.
“Reid,” Emily warned. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Reid to talk because she did enjoy hearing him but she didn’t want to make a situation out of this right now. They had other things to worry about.
“Nothing is going on between us,” Luke responded. A scoff escaped Emily’s lips involuntarily and Luke’s head snapped towards her, “I’m letting her sleep,” He defended. Emily tried to distract herself from this conversation by looking at the case file but she was still gonna be nosy.
“You let her touch you more than anyone else on the team. You also regularly watch her while she’s working and you’re much more engaged when she speaks and you’re more likely to defend her when one of us fights against her theories. You might not have something going on but you clearly love her and she loves you,” Reid stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Luke’s eyes widened and he glanced down at you before he looked back at Reid.
“How do you know that?” Luke asked, the emotions warring in his chest as he tilted his head to the side slightly.
“Oh, she told me,” A smile appeared on his face and you bit your lip as you still rested against Luke’s shoulder. You had been asleep for a little bit but Reid and Luke speaking had roused you from the brink. You had been silently listening but Reid noticed you begin to smirk slightly.
“Stop talking about me, please,” You mumbled, your tone thick was exhaustion. Luke’s eyes widened and Reid chuckled softly, “I’m trying to get some sleep.” Luke looked down at you and then back at Reid and he seemed completely dumb-founded. He was at a loss for words. It was cute and that is why you just let yourself settle back down and go back to sleep. You needed it.
<3
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thursdaygxrls · 8 months
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Hello! Can I request for tasm!peter parker (maybe taking place at the school or something) where he meets the reader who has a band? Like they are always tapping their pencil and muttering songs and they become friends and he ends up going to their show?? THANK YOU!!!
ahhh i love this request!! i used to be in a band, so this is like a repressed fantasy. also, i sort of imagined this band as being rock/soft punk, i'm sorry if that wasn't the intended genre
At the Roboto
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summary — gen-ed classes really suck, but a pencil tapper provides peter with a great distraction.
pairing — college!peter parker x drummer!gn!reader
disclaimer — as always, i don’t own peter (wish i did)
warnings — unedited (literally always is)
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The Roboto Club was not a place Peter thought he'd ever find himself. It was small, stuffy, and definitely sticky. The walls were covered in stickers and signatures of bands who had played there (as well as patrons who'd come up with some very colorful insults). The thumping of music filled his ears as his body was jostled by those around him. As he tried to force himself to not freak out from the overstimulation, he made himself remember why he was here:
Gen-ed courses were the worst. Peter had already earned a semester’s worth of college credits in high school, but it wasn’t enough to save him from the agonizing hour and a half long lectures about the Industrial Revolution. His one saving grace had come in the form of a chewed-up number two pencil tapping against the desk next to him.
From the first day of class, he could hear it. Rhythmic pulses of the eraser followed by the staccato of the graphite. He'd glanced over, seeing the owner of the pencil lazily watching the lecture, busy clicking the utensil against the desk instead of writing. He had always assumed it was some sort of nervous tick of theirs until he paid more attention to the beat. There was a pattern to it--the thump of the eraser and the click of the graphite.
Thump. Thump-thump, click-click. Thump. Thump-thump, click-click.
It was a month into the course when he noticed that no matter how it may change, they always held a steady beat with the pencil. It was around this same time when he began hearing the humming. Peter thought he was hearing things at first from how quiet it was. It was too melodic to be an insect, so the bee-theory was ruled out quickly. When he listened in a little closer, he was able to find that the faint noise he was hearing had been coming from the Pencil-Tapper.
When deep in concentration, they had the tendency to hum under their breath. It was like they didn't even notice. They would be moving from typing out notes on their laptop to scribbling on a post-it when they'd start mumbling out a soft melody. Though it was rare, sometimes these murmured melodies would align with the beat of their pencil.
Peter had always been known to be a star student, no matter how boring a class may be, but this Pencil-Tapper was a welcome reprieve from the monotonous lecture he was subjected to twice a week. It was nothing more than innocent interest, of course. No creepy stalking or constant surveillance. Just a way to pass the time as the professor droned on.
Two months into the class, the first lecture of the week had just ended. As always, Peter and the Pencil-Tapper packed their stuff away in humdrum routine. What was different, though, was when the Tapper's pencil fell from their desk. It rolled slowly enough that it hit the ground without a sound, but, of course, Peter heard it. His breath hitched.
He had two options: grab the pencil or ignore it entirely. The kind thing to do would be to return it, but the difficult part of that would be that he would have to return it. Chewing his lip, he looked down at it. It was so small, sharpened down to half its original size. Surely, they wouldn't mind missing something like that. When he looked up, he saw them already walking away. Damn his savior complex.
"Hey," Peter called, his fingers wrapped around the end of the pencil that wasn't ridden with bite marks, "You dropped this."
"Oh, thanks," Tapper's voice came out slow as they looked down at the pencil, "Gross. Sorry about that."
"No big deal." He shook his head, handing over the utensil with a small smile. They returned the grin and turned to exit when Peter interrupted with a small cough.
"Um—" Peter, you dumb, dumb kid, you have nothing to say, why the hell are you speaking? "—So, you tap a lot."
That seemed to catch them off guard. They stopped, letting students filter out of the classroom beyond them. With a quirk of their head, they began speaking again, "I didn't realize I was that loud."
"You're not!" Peter rushed out, "No, no, I just meant that sometimes I get bored, and I sort of tune in to your tapping. Not, like, in a weird way."
"I see," they tutted, "Well, I mean, if you're interested in the pencil tapping, maybe you'd like to hear it on the drums?"
Silence fell between them. It was only for a few seconds, but it felt more like a few hours. The gears in Peter's head turned a little slower than he was used to.
"That was a stupid question, sorry," Tapper let out a sheepish chuckle.
"Not at all," Peter replied quickly, "I just realized that you must've been tapping actual songs."
"Oh, yeah," they nodded, "I'm in a band—Dial 616? We're not big or anything."
"Cool," Peter grinned, regaining a fraction of his calm.
"We have a gig this Saturday at the Roboto. It's just off campus," they explained, "You could totally come if you want. I mean, if you're interested in hearing actual music, not just tapping."
And so he came. The Robot Club was located in a skinny building wedged between a record store and a laundromat. Admission was ten dollars, and there were a few acts. The music was loud and sort of overwhelming, but he held on. Somewhere between the second and third act, he wondered why he was subjecting himself to this. He was reminded when Dial 616 was introduced.
Tapper looked a lot different from the normal sweatpants and t-shirt he'd usually seen them in. Dramatic makeup had been painted on their face that had the illusion of changing color with the flashing of the club's LEDs. Ripped jeans, chunky black boots, a tank top, and two battered drumsticks finished off their outfit. There were four other members of the band, all in equally striking clothes. The crowd around Peter whooped in recognition as they took to the stage, introducing their first song.
They played a few originals and a few covers, Peter's favorite of which being their rendition of California Über Alles. Tapper was a force on the drums. Their face was drawn in utter concentration as they slammed away. They moved from precise beats to messy patterns all without ever losing control of the tempo or their sticks.
When their set was over, they hopped from the makeshift stage, leaving the borrowed instruments there for the next band. Peter was sure it wasn't concert etiquette to immediately follow them, but his body was moving on its own accord. He threaded through the people and to the clump that formed around the band. Maybe they weren't huge yet, but there were still a lot of people bombarding them with screams and hollers of excitement. He noticed Tapper at the end of the of the band members, smiling as they signed someone's arm with a sharpie. When they were done, they looked up, and just like fate, their eyes met Peter's.
"Hey!" They greeted, their voice loud over the already booming music of the next band, "You came. I didn't think you would."
"Why wouldn't I?" He asked, unable to wipe the grin off his face.
"Well, because we only talked once. And you don't know my name, and I don't know yours," they said. Their tone held no malice or condescension, just the aftershocks of adrenaline from being on stage.
"I'm Peter." He had to yell to be heard.
"Y/n," they replied. There was another moment of standstill silence. This time, though, it wasn't awkward. It would actually be calm if not for the thunderous clash of drums behind them.
"I have to go, but, uh, we were gonna go out for pizza if you wanted to come?" Y/n suggested, their behavior suddenly coy in contrast with their appearance.
"Yeah—okay," Peter grinned. They offered him one last smile before disappearing with the rest of the band. Gen-ed actually wasn't that bad after all.
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a/n — me 🤝 making up nicknames for the reader
taglist
@reidslovely @iamliterallyspidergwen
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riaaanna · 1 month
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Eurovision 2023: ft. Roger Taylor
A little bit not-Queen, but the best part is: it kind of is!
I've given up on trying to make a detailed post about Eurovision 2023 (tried to do it before the next one rolls in this year) but this here is about Roger freakin' Taylor in Euro freakin' vision 2023.
And I haven't shared these here specifically, but here are Roger-cams from first audience rehearsal on 12th May 2023. These are not what (little) you saw on TV, which was live on 13th May 2023. I am also not telling you whether or not these videos are mine. lol.
Here's the rambling part. I've been a Eurofan since like 2012, growing from casual to following each countries' national selections in the past few years. I'm also from Indonesia, so never in a million years could I ever imagine attending Eurovision itself, at all.
So it was insanely lucky that I happened to be in the UK, during the year that Eurovision will be hosted in the UK. Not only that, the host city was LIVERPOOL of all places (God it was nearly going to be Glasgow at some point)! It's like not even an hour train or bus from Manchester! Hotel prices went to HUNDREDS of pounds per night when that was announced, but all I had to do was just take a train to and back every day! So convenient.
Needless to say Liverpool did an incredible job. Here are some images from when I first arrived, in awe.
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And the stages! On the left is Eurovillage, the free-entry stage for side performances and watch alongs. On the right is M&S Bank Arena Liverpool, which I went into several times for several shows!
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Eurovision is actually a long marathon of nine audience shows. There are Semi 1, Semi 2, and Grand Final. For each of those there are Jury show (first rehearsal + when Jury cast their votes), Family show (second rehearsal during daytime, hence "family"), and Live show (for TV + audience votes). Before each Jury show there is a press-only rehearsal too without audience.
Getting tickets was a drama! I was in class! Sat on front row cause your lecturer wouldn't suspect the front row unless he peeked down at your screen (he didn't). With two seatmates and their laptops and my phone I queued on four devices. Got some tickets, and follow-up with a long and suspenseful resell tickets scavenger hunt grind on Discord which went on for weeks. Long story short, I got tickets for SF1 Jury, SF1 Family, SF1 Live, SF2 Jury, and GF Jury.
I know. A lifetime worth of luck and savings. But literally... when and where else was this going to happen to me if not then and there??
Anyway it was already an insane week. My agenda was going back and forth between Manchester and Liverpool for ten days (4-13 May). Jump to the GF Jury show on 12th May, I was queueing outside the arena and scrolling on my phone. A news article popped up. Breaking news, spoilers from the press rehearsal.
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Y'all..... it took all of my life strength to not crumble to my knees and break into confused tears in the middle of a crowd outside the arena. I was shocked. I was thrilled. I was Hannah Montana twirling in a wig singing Best of Both Worlds mentally. There is no multiverse crossover event ever topping this. The stars aligned just for me. What do you mean I'm going to walk in with my Eurovision ticket and I'm going to see Roger Taylor and live my best life??
(I adore Sam Ryder too, for the record! A breath of fresh air to UK in Eurovision, rooted for him and his bright attitude waaay before the bookies rooted for him and way before he won second place. I saw him live at his own gig too and he was incredible!)
Mind you this was one day before the live show on TV, it took so much strength to not spoil this even further especially with a lot of Eurovision mutuals on Twitter.
To be fair, there were teasers of a "famous person appearance" for the Grand Final, and knowing Eurovision it could have been literally anyone. Truly I was talking shit when I tweeted this a month before the Grand Final, but I guess I sort of manifested it:
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So that happened. That was. an unforgettable experience that I'll never get in any other Eurovision, if I ever get the chance to go again. I had my eyes on him the entire time and it was so wonderful. And if you've read this far down, thank you for bearing with me!
A footnote re: Eurovision 2024 - all the real Eurofans aren’t supporting it unless they ban ******. We’ve been keeping up with national selections, we know which artists are pressuring their broadcasters to step up. I’ve said it here before that because of this my interest in this (and QAL… it’s been difficult) has been fading. So I want EBU to take action, I truly hope they do, but until then I probably won’t watch this year. Never supported ****** in my history of being a Eurofan and never will. Let’s do what we can and donate.
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thepixeldemon · 1 year
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Happy, together, forever.
Bakugou x Afab! reader
Summary: Reader thinks that Bakugou is going to propose, and is afraid of losing him because their life directed them into not wanting and deciding to never have kids. But they decide to talk about it with him, to not end up hurting him more. Also in ao3
Warnings: slight angst, fluff, comfort, hinted sickness/infertility for the reader, just comfort for childfree people because we deserve love and validation too.
Word count: 1k+ (I'm passionate about this)
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When you met Bakugou, you never thought that your relationship would reach the point where the two of you would want to spend the rest of your lives together. Throughout your life you were surrounded by the archaic idea of ​​the cycle of life, being born, growing, reproducing and dying, despite having fantasized a thousand times about the perfect romance, you never believed that you would get to live it, romance never happened in your life, you were a little scared of it, and when you reached the age in which your acquaintances started to ask about you having childrens, you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, although you always knew it, you were afraid to accept it, since that would be the definitive barrier between you and a long term love, that idea of getting married just to have children was unpleasant for you, can't you want to be with the love of your life without having to get tied together with children? You thought about it from a young age but now it was final, you don't want children, and you wouldn't change your opinion for anything in the world, you were decided to have a happy life even if you couldn't experience that romantic ideal, but he showed up.
At first you only considered that it would be something temporary, a relationship that you could remember as a beautiful memory, so you shouldn't worry about any parental wishes he might have, even though every once in a while he blurts out the casual "that's why I don't want kids" the fear still existed. But days, months, years passed, and you were currently living togheter, working as pro heros on the same angency, and ready to celebrate your fifth anniversary. Worries about the future had been left far behind in your mind, he made you forget all that, he made you feel that your lives were complete, that nothing needed to change to have a happy life, the two of you were more than enough for each other, but the fear returned a thousand times stronger when you accidentally found the search "engagement rings" on the laptop of his office. At first you though that it may be of some coworker, or maybe Kirishimas , but Katsuki was the only one that used that account, you felt happy, weddings were so romantic, you definitely would be up for one, specially with the love of your life, the joy you felt made you jump like a fangirl teen, until your eyes made contact with a framed picture of him after saving a toddler, the little kid was clinging to his chest with a relieved expression while Katsuki held a fist up flashing his usual victory smile. Your heart skipped a beat as all the fears you had forgotten hit you again with destructive force. The voices of family members, friends, coworkers, paparazzis, interviewers...
"When are you planning on getting pregnant?"
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After thinking a lot, and even coming up with the idea of ​​pretending and "changing" your opinion just for him, to make him happy, you decided that it was best to talk about it, if things had to end it's better to do it once and for all, you couldn't live avoiding that subject and lying to him, as you did with relatives who pressed the issue of "new blessings in the family". The thought of ending you relationship shattered your heart, but you couldn't live forever under the pressure of a husband demanding a child, you have heard of stories where people "trick" their partners into getting pregnant, and even knowing that Bakugou would never force you to do something you didn't want, you were still terrified , not only that, but he deserved someone who could made all of his dreams true, someone who could fulfill all of his desires, and you couldn't do that.
You hoped that he wouldn't care, that he didn't want children, that he only wanted you and your well-being, but deku had invited him to his son's baby shower, so that possibility became smaller and smaller to you. It was now or never, you needed to bring that issue to the table and end that problem once and for all.
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You were on the train on your way home, after patrolling all day together, both quieter than usual, specially you, and he noticed it, but he preferred not to mention it until arriving to your shared apartment, since he didn't want to bother you, even so he couldn't hide his worried look, you noticed it and that made your nerves go even more crazy.
The train arrived at its stop, Katsuki took your hand to guide you home, a habit that he never lost since the days studying together, when you felt his warm palm your heart began to beat even faster, you didn't want to lose him, you really wanted to be with him forever, but just imagining his disappointed face while trying over and over again to convince you to try and give him a child, his mother's disapproving look, the whispers of people judging you, all that just made you want to vomit.
You replayed the words you thought to say to start that conversation, over and over again, changing anything that may sound bad or self pitying, anxiety coursing trough you veins, suddenly you felt a light squeeze of his hand, you turned to see his face, and he flashed a warm reassuring smile to you, god, you really loved that man. That made you start second guessing yourself, why were you so worried? Despite the fact that at first it was hard for you to accept it, you were sure that he loved you, way too much, he had told you several times, that he was willing to do anything to see you happy, that he loved you and would be with you no matter what, that he wanted you to be by his side when he became the number one hero, he showed that not only with words, he always was supportive with your life choices, he was always so caring when your health was not the best, he took care of you like nobody did before.
You were lost in your thoughts when you heard his keys opening the door of the simple yet stunning apartment you both shared, your styles combined perfectly adorning the place that witnessed all those moments that you shared, the sad ones, the happy ones, the ones that you will treasure until you closed your eyes a final time, the ones that you were afraid of needing to forget.
Still quietly, you both got changed and started heating up the dinner, you were still so nervous, and he couldn't wait more to know why "— are you okay?" he asked in the softest voice he could make, you forgot the little speech you prepared, untill you felt his warm hands caress your arms, softly you responded "— I think is time to talk about something, something very important" nervously you looked up to meet his gaze, still concerned he gestured for you to continue "— I always joked about it, and you know about my health issues, time keeps going and we continue to become more and more serious about a future together, everyone is starting to raise their families, and people keep asking about ours, and... I really want to spend my life with you Katsuki, but, we can't have a family, at least not in the traditional way, I don't want to have kids, I can't, and if having mini Bakugous is something you want in your life, you should consider looking for someone that can give you that, i can't, i can't make you happy like that..."
Your eyes got watery, you adverted your gaze, afraid of his reaction, but a breathy laugh of him made you look up again, he had a disbelieved expression, "so that was it..." he gave you a sympathetic smile, he hugged you softly, and pressed a kiss on you forehead "you don't have to worry about that, just having you with me is more than enough"
"But..." You were a little bit shocked "no buts, we don't have to raise that kind of family to have a happy life, and frankly, i don't think that i would be a good dad" he laughed.
You smiled, yeah, not only him, you also would be a terrible parent, not only that but hero work was really dangerous, you could die any day, the possibility of bringing a human life only to end up as an orphan because their hero parents died was just selfish and sad, a tragedy.
You sighed, needing a final reassurance "you really don't care? What if you change your mind?" He looked at you seriously "— no, i wont, and don't question me about more 'what if's' you're sounding like my mom"
You laughed "—yeah, I'll stop, definitely not want to be like that" you both giggled, basking on each others warmth, you felt like a weight had been lifted of your shoulders, you were happy, happy that you found your perfect man, that you can make him happy, and that you could have that dreamy perfect life you only though that was possible on you fantasies.
"—besides, you are already a pain in the ass, and the pets are a lot of responsibility, i definitely don't need more stress getting on my way of becoming the number one" you pinched his side, making a pout jokingly, he kissed you cheek "—i also promised that i will never let anyone hurt you, you don't deserve that kind of pain"
"— But katsu, i think my tummy is going to hurt now"
"— huh? What are you talking about?"
"— something smells burned"
"— shit".
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Notes: My first writing in years, i was just tired of not finding any childfree Katsuki fics, and in a blog that i love i saw that someone made an ask about this topic, so i decided to write this to have a small comfort for feeling like i don't deserve love in a world where people are crazy over Dadsuki and I'm just like yuck, kids being raised by a traumatized man with an extremely dangerous job that could kill him any day.
I don't think I will write very often, I'm not a good writer, i just needed to express my feelings in a way that i can't with a drawing (and that's why I posted this in my side account), and maybe this will be a great comfort for other people too ✨
Anyways, remember, he would love you no matter what 💕
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murumokirby360 · 3 months
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My Yearend Techs & Misc. Items Summary - 2023
Hello! So ummm... 2023 was a semi-disaster, in my opinion. As if 2022 wasn't good enough my mood, though. 📅😟 At first glance, I was slightly smooth ride in the beginning of 2023, but with bad sightings and throwing toxics at me (not really, IRL), I went into downward spiral... 😞😭 But, I could always get up, dust myself, and once again moved on my life to see what my future install in 2024. 💪 #KeepMovingForward
Anyway, enough for that, let’s talk about my ‘My Yearend Techs and Misc. Items Summary 2023’! And here are my choices per month so far, both ongoing & done topics:
• JAN - Redragon Hylas H260 Gaming Headset (done): Unlike my Redragon Keyboard from 2022 review, I haven't used it since my initial test because I have my current wireless headphone (the ZNT SoundFit) and my go-to QKZ AK7 Pro w/ a replacement wire as my main source of listening music/watching videos on any media devices (namely, my mom's laptop and my smartphone). But, don't get me wrong, it is a cool headset, an affordable price of less than $20, and the sound quality was A-Okay for some gamers (like me). For now, my gaming headset was still inside the box, along with the tote bag. And if my current headset was finally decommissioned, then I'll bring it in as my new main PC headset, not carrying it outside.
• FEB - UGREEN Multifunctional Card Reader USB 3.0 (done): So far, my UGREEN Card Reader is the only source as my main both USB thumb drive and of course my main card reader under one item. Right now, I'm transferring my precious screenshots from my sibling's PS4 Pro console.
• MAR - R.I.P. My Old Anker Powerport 2: The first of three abandoned items is my good old Anker Powerport 2, who I ordered it from an expensive website (galleon.ph) in Jan 2017. Although, it worked sometimes, it didn't last long. But hey, after all the new features for the USB charger has changed. So, I guess I need a new one, someday. Whether a different brand or the same as my old one. Who knows?
• APR - Samsung SSD 970 EVO Plus NVMe M.2 Drive (done): Ah yes, my first ever owned NVMe memory stick, and its a 100% genuine brand, no less. While the alternative physical HDDs are still produced, so does the NVMe Solid State Drives, and also the SATA Solid Drives, too. But, since my Motherboard had a proprietary M.2 slot, it'll be an opportunity for me to switch from the bulky 3.5mm HDD to a miniature Solid State Drive, with a much faster speed rate than the regular alternative one's slower paced. And let me tell ya, it delivers to my custom PC!
• MAY - R.I.P. My HD (or HDD): Speaking of, here's the second of three abandoned items that we're sadly didn't make a 2nd life. And you know, this is my most heart-breaking moment of 2023. Why? Well, its hard to explain... All I can say is, that I messed up a year ago. So much so, I need to moved on and I'll be try as I can. Unless if I have a occupation with a decent payout, then I might chance to save it. For now, though, it is still buried inside the carton box, with a anti-static plastic to prevent interior damage. Please, go to my link for my entire reason.
• JUN - My PC Cooling Upgrades (done): So, as if my NVMe memory stick wasn't enough, I also purchased two PC item upgrades for my custom PC, and it was a success for... Less than a day. Why? Well, let's proceed our next one. Shall we?
• JUL - R.I.P. My GPU Card: Well this one... The third (and last) abandoned item. To this day, my custom PC remain semi-decommissioned because of this outdated (MSi) GPU card/Graphics card, who sadly didn't go the distance after 7 years... Looks like, my custom PC didn't make it in 2023. But fear not, my precious files on my NVMe drive still intact, so not all is lost. I'll be bringing my custom PC to a good quality computer repair store, this January 2024. I promise.
• AUG - My Family's Old Film Camera from the 90s: Time for a little throwback with this awesome looking 90s film camera. Man, I can't believe it is still pristine condition after few decades to unused, it deserves a quality custom case than putting back inside the box with assorted of random items. Pls, go to link for my explanation.
• SEPT - A Nokia Vintage Phone from the 90s: Another 90s item is this gorgeous ancient phone from Nokia (model 104 - circa 1992). It far too late to fix this despite its age, but it still memorable for my parents, nonetheless. Pls, go to link for more information.
• OCT - My Fake Samsung 870 EVO Solid State Drive (done): While my 970 EVO Plus was 100% genuine Samsung brand, the 870 EVO Solid State Drive was the exact opposite! And let me tell ya, there are a lot of 'Red Flags' on this 870 EVO wannabe here. Though, this isn't my first fake Samsung item that I've ordered. If you want more info then please click the link (from above).
• NOV - My first Samsung non-genuine item (done): And here's my first encountered a fake Samsung item from an online app store (namely, Lazada PH). And like before it, there are also 'Red Flags' beneath this silicon memory flash chip. Trust me, I compared it with my genuine one, so please go to link for my entire information.
• DEC - My Audio Wire Replacement (for QKZ AK6 Pro) (done): And lastly was this one. I could thank my adorable pet rabbit named 'Pepper' for chewing my original cable wire without notice, and to that was on me letting my pet rabbit chewing on while I was asleep. Thus, I've purchased an audio wire replacement, and its fa r better than the original one albeit the sound quality very identical as before.
IMPORTANT NOTE: No 'Honorable Mentions', this year.
Well, that’s the end of my “My Yearend Techs and Misc. Items 2023”. We’ll see you in 2024. 
🥳 Happy new years eve to all, and as always, stay safe (just in case)!😷
If you want to see my 2020 to 2022 version of that, then I’ll provide some links down below.↓
• My Yearend Techs and Misc. Items 2022
• My Yearend Techs and Misc. Items 2021
• My Yearend Techs and Misc. Items 2020
Tagged: @lordromulus90, @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @leapant, @alexander1301, @rafacaz4lisam2k4, @paektu
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zippityzap · 1 year
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Hi!! I'm one of the folks working in the editor, and I would love to hear more about this:
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Why is it slower for you to do so in the new editor? how are you doing to make such posts that makes the experience different? I'm asking because the image uploading experience should be pretty similar among both versions of the editor, so there may be something we missed up if that's not the case for you!
Hi!
Well, for context when I talk about this issue I am mostly talking about posts I make for @zippy-reacts if you want to look at a post on there for reference of the amount of text and images those posts usually have.
I make those posts first by copy/pasting the text from a word doc then inserting images saved on my laptop. The slowness mainly comes from the loading time to upload images: on legacy it take about a second or two, on beta between 5-10 seconds.
It doesn’t sound like much but when you’re typically adding at least ten images to a post, it adds up, especially considering I like to make posts in batches and queue them. For example, if making four liveblog posts in a row takes me about 20-25 mins with legacy, the same amount will take about an hour, if not more in beta depending on how many images I’m using.
I should also add that it’s been probably been about 2-3 months since I last tried using the beta editor, so idk: maybe this isn’t an issue anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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chaosintheavenue · 1 year
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On the origin of Trin
The first tentative concept Picrew of the character that would become Trin was saved to my laptop on April 16th 2022, and I made a note to myself at the time that the vague concept of the character had been around for about a month at that point. So, we'll consider today, March 16th, to be Trin's first anniversary of existing!
To mark the occasion, I've decided on a total whim to lay out the timeline of Trin's development from the first idea I had, to the character she is today.
Beginnings
Fittingly, Trin technically started her 'life' as three people- triplets, to be exact. I decided that I wanted two of my VB peeps (a Cipher and a BoS guy) to have a child to continue the Ciphers arc into the post-NV era in my convoluted Fallout headcanon universe. I wanted to make a trigonometry reference, and so for the sake of that, the one child quickly became three. I'm not the most mathematically-minded or original, so of course these triplets were intended to be named Sine, Cosine and Tangent.
The triplets got very limited character development, especially since in the one (1) scene I ever pictured them in, they were about two years old. I didn't decide genders or much personality-wise, but I did set out that Sine and Cosine were identical 'twins', Tangent was not identical to them, and that reflected in their personality as they felt conflicted identity-wise and tried to strike out on their own. The main thing I did determine was some details of their physical appearances, with Tangent having short black hair and the other two having longer blonde hair.
Three Become One
At some point after creating the trigonometry triplets, I realised that adding three new interlinked main characters and trying to follow their arcs in the meticulous detail I always do would be simply too much to keep up with. I'd secretly started to favour Tangent and they'd already received a bit more development than the others, so I decided to focus on them and have Sine and Cosine occasionally crop up as background characters.
Soon after this, for reasons I don't entirely remember, I decided to do away with the triplet idea altogether, just have one BoS/Cipher character, and renamed the concept of what had been Tangent to Trinity (bonus fact: it's now canon in-universe that Trin was almost named Tangent as a baby). Still no gender or characterisation yet, and I still only pictured the character as a young child.
First Sightings
And so now we come to April 16th 2022. The first ever image of Trin:
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(link to the Picrew)
This was also the very first time I envisioned Trin as an adult. I wasn't really getting any strong gender vibes, and had an inkling that the character would turn out to be some variation on the theme of nonbinary.
I continued adding small details and rotating Trin, as I now began to call them, in my brain for a while, and to my mild surprise she soon informed me that she's a cis woman (honestly, that still sometimes surprises me lol).
On May 29th came the first instance of Trinposting! I posted this mysterious drawing of a new character I'd been developing.
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To Appalachia
I've always struggled to create new characters on demand for a particular purpose (which is why a lot of my player character OCs start out with a 'placeholder' version, and some unknown length of time later suddenly get more development). The creation of Trin happened to come at a convenient time for me, as I'd been contemplating attempting a new playthrough of Fallout 76 for several months. One day in June, the inspiration suddenly struck me hard to get this playthrough on the road now, and my mind happeend to be thoroughly immersed in Trin at the time, so naturally I decided to play as her. I originally considered just using an AU version of her due to 76 being set so early in the timeline, but I'm no stranger to altering canon for my own needs, and so in-universe, Trin arrived in West Virginia in 2295.
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In-game, this was one of her first nights above ground. In-universe, I consider this the earliest canon screenshot of Trin, taken on her very first night in Appalachia (all the Vault stuff had to go considering her amended origin)
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When I first started the playthrough, Trin was very much still primarily a blank slate of a character. She had an established backstory, but not a lot in the way of personality, talents, opinoins, and the likes. After I'd been playing for a week or so, had got to grips with the game mechanics and was no longer solely focused on survival, she really began to show herself through the in-game choices I was making.
On Sexuality
I don't remember at what point I decided/was 'told' by Trin that she was aroace, but I do know that I never much thought about her orientation prior to that and would never have considered anything else to fit her. Getting personal for a second: Looking back, it feels very coincidental that this took place not long before I myself finally figured out I'm aro as well as ace, and I feel like my exploration of aromantic-ness (aromanticism?) through the lens of Trin played a bigger role in my discovery of that than I've ever previously really acknowledged.
Becoming Crunchy
By August, she was much more developed and had become thoroughly enmeshed in the 76 world, and I, being the same plague-obsessed Chaos as always, decided it was high time to Scorch her.
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From here, a lot happened plot-wise, but the basic characterisation of Trin has remained more or less constant. She left Appalachia for around a year in-universe to focus on trying to recover, eventually came back with a friend and some new scars across her face, built a mini settlement, entangled herself further in WV and its factions, made yet more friends and re-encountered some old ones, aaand most recently cut her hair.
Trin as she is now:
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I'm still thoroughly obsessed with Trin, and don't foresee that changing in the near future! She's very quickly overtaken all of my other OCs to have the highest populated tag on my blog, and that will probably continue for Some Time lol. I just wish I could kick myself into gear to write up more of her story hgfdfgf.
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sumeragi-hokuto · 2 years
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I fully understand if it’s impossible but do you plan on finishing this project?
Hi to you and everyone else still following this blog. It's probably been what, almost two years since I last posted anything?
Short answer: probably not, though I want to.
Long answer: So a lot happened. I got my laptop back after the water damage and everything was wiped. Everything. Not just TB. I DID have some backups of the raws for volume 5, but I lost the rest of the completed pages that I'd been working on which put me back several weeks. Combine that with the stress of starting a new semester of college with a broken laptop, in a new place, with COVID messing everything up... I basically lost all motivation to keep working on TB. Time passed and I got more and more guilty about not posting, so I told myself that I would just work in larger batches that meant when I did post, I could post a ton in order to make up for all the time when I did not. Of course, that started to stress me out too, and so all it meant was that I kept delaying everything even more because the idea of doing MORE than usual after being gone so long was so daunting I couldn't bring myself to make the first step. Time passed. I got a job and was doing both school and work, which took a lot of time, and ended up committed to a group that took 9 hours per week minimum. The semester went by, and the next, and then was my final semester and my thesis. Keep everything from before and add in *that* time commitment...
By the time I was ready to get back to TB, I'd graduated. And my school pulled my Photoshop license basically the second my diploma was in hand. Buying Photshop will take me $22-35 a month, and Adobe is so weird with their commitments and forcing you to keep it for a long time or putting a cancelation fee on you that I keep worrying I'll miss something in the fine print and end up having to pay way more than anticipated. So basically, trying to get Photoshop back would cost a lot of money that I don't exactly want to pay given how long I think it'll take me to do these scans. It's just me working on this. There is no one else. I have a lot of things I want to do in my life, and paying for another year or two of Photoshop will put me out a few hundred bucks that I would like to put in savings. I guess I could really buckle down and try to get huge chunks done at once, but I need some other life things to calm down a bit.
If this seems like excuses excuses...yeah. pretty much. I have a million excuses and none of them are great. I loved this project and it brought me a lot of joy, but now I've come to a financial decision that has kept me from coming back to this.
That and the other big thing, which was the idea of "Oh. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this." Because while I may not be earning any money by doing this, I'm also not paying anything to do this. The profits aren't going to CLAMP or anyone official. People are reading their material without them earning a single penny. And sure, I read every CLAMP manga I've ever read on unofficial online sites before buying them myself (so, I read without paying before I fell so in love that I did). But should I be doing this? What happens if CLAMP or whoever owns the licensing does a crackdown one day?
I'm already so far in it probably doesn't matter. I'm not going to go delete everything I've ever posted. So why not just finish what I started?
I think it comes down to shoving down the guilt of the absence and the worry of whether I should or shouldn't be doing this and figuring out financially (and time-wise) if it's truly worth it. Like I said, I loved this project. I love TB. I have a ton of fun making the pages. But it takes a lot. It will take more from me now than it ever has with the added financial burden and the fact that I have way more commitments than I did when I started (which was, I think, actually in high school. And here I am now with a college degree and a real world job).
So that's the long answer: Will I finish this? I don't know. I really want to. I just need to figure out a way to make it work. That'll require some shuffling on my part. Some figuring stuff out. Some weighing my options. I can't say yes because I don't want to promise something and not give it, which has historically been what I've done when promising more frequent updates that never increased in frequency.
So to both you and the few other people who've messaged me in this long gap, or to the ones who said such nice things when I first mentioned my broken laptop and losing everything and all the kind of sucky stuff that happened nearly 2 years ago now...Thank you for caring. It does mean a lot. It's really nice to know that people actually appreciated the effort I put in, and that they're still thinking about me (or at least, about what I can do for them). I've never stopped thinking about this blog. I used Photoshop for my thesis and every time I opened it I told myself, "maybe next time I open this will be for TB." It even was. I think I did one more set at some point, never posted because of that thing I mentioned about feeling guilty and wanting to make a mega post.
With that I'll finish off for now. Apologies for the giant blob of text. I don't feel like proofreading this right now. I still have stuff I need to get done today. Real life calls. I hope that one day I will be able to get back to this. I'm just not sure when, or if it's even feasible.
Thank you,
Mariyekos.
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inkofamethyst · 2 months
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February 12, 2024
God those cookies I made last week were so good.
My ipad is starting to show signs of planned obsolescence, I think. Kinda sucky considering I'm also already saving for a new laptop (I could be quicker about it if I wasn't so aggressive about finishing up my emergency fund and saving for my down payment*) and I would consider my iPad use relatively gentle. I'll see if I can stretch its use out for another year and a half minimum, I think. It's still got plenty of space to work with and is adept with the majority of tasks I use it for. A new machine could be another 1k,,,,,, oof. The earlier I start saving the lower that monthly "payment" though. There are certain things I use my tablet for that neither a laptop nor a phone are optimized to do, and I see myself potentially using those functions even after I'm done with classes.. but I'll give it more thought.
Might plan a little reading group with the discord crew since so many of us (5/7 so far!!) are interested in reading The Road, the book on which The Last of Us is based (my photo-friend suggested it to me and my dancer-friend during a chat we had, and I saw puzzle- and dnd- had previously marked it as something they were interested in (these are the kinds of things I'd miss without goodreads T.T (I'm gonna swap to (or, at least, add) Storygraph still, I promise))).
*I told my sister I am currently interested in potentially moving back to my home state after grad school to live near my family, and she, being the zillow fiend she is, took me on a tour of the current housing market in the city I'm interested in with the parameters I'd like and lowkey??? it's actually not as expensive as I thought it'd be. Granted, these feelings could drift as climate change alters the landscape (or if I really really like it here), but based on my down payment savings goal, the existence of first-time homebuyer assistance programs, what I'm currently making (and the expected raise at the conclusion of this program), and the assistance my elders have cryptically alluded to, it does not seem as far out of reach as I once thought (though my vision was skewed by the fact that a 1b/1b condo around my uni could cost something like a million bucks lol).
You know I think I'm not succumbing to lifestyle creep but like,,, I literally bought $118 pants (with coupons and discounts but still, I was looking). I.. don't think I've ever considered spending that much on a single item of clothing, ever. Even most of my formal dresses are secondhand. On the other hand, relative frugality when it comes to food and being stringent with savings gives me a bit more leeway when it comes to other things. All this said, I'm not sure whether having a loosey-goosey budget will work out long-term. Will reassess in May.
One thing about "her" is that the color scheme is relatively dark, and I'm not just talkin skin here. There's nothing inherently wrong with that; dark colors are a great base for things, but I do think I'd like to venture into adding a bit more color and experimenting with combinations. Very unlike me, I know.
Today I'm thankful that my skin was givingggg. I bought three shades of Colourpop's Lite Stix last month and wore the first two (molten hot (too yellow), glazey (too bright)) for a couple weeks each to give them a true run, but neither were perfect shades, but Sunlight is a softer, rosier gold that works so well as a subtle, beautiful inner-corner highlight. And after doing my Kiehl's mask over the weekend which is literally clearing my skin (plus 25/8 blush and rocky road lip gloss/crucifix liner),,,, it was a very pretty day for me despite the fact that I was fully exhausted the whole time. Anyway I'm going to have to find some other use for the other two (I tried molten hot once as an eyeliner and that was fun) so they don't go to waste.
Washed my hair yesterday, now experiencing the slog of nightly braiding with multiple major homework assignments on the horizon :)))))))
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servin-up-surveys · 1 year
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survey #126
Tell me about the first five photos you have on your phone or camera. First by date taken (or saved) and not like, my five most recent? There's a meerkat wallpaper, a Markiplier quote one, me holding my niece Emerson when she was born, and then two of Roman.
Have you got any half or step siblings? One half-brother, two half-sisters (that I count, there's one more but I don't know her), and technically a stepbrother through my dad's current wife, but I don't consider him my brother at all. Also barely know him.
Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? Yes, Sara. We "met" via the Meerkat Manor fanbase on YouTube at like, 8 and 10 years of age. DARK fuckin days lmfao
When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? Covid, many months ago.
Do you know anyone with a serious anger management problem? No, thank FUCKING god. I can't handle people who show anger on an aggressively physical level, never mind on a regular basis. I fucking can't, especially if it's a man. I'm breaking the FUCK down, no matter what man it is/his relation to me or what setting we're in.
What color is your wallet? Red, black, and creamy white. It's a Harley Quinn (comics-style) design.
Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? I haven't seen any, actually. Not interested.
Do you have an unhealthy obsession with colored furry throw pillows that are different shapes and sizes? Haha no, but I AM obsessed with those pillows that have been a "thing" lately that look like various types of succulents. I SO BADLY wanna get one of those totally ethereal bed comforters that looks like moss or just other grassy stuff along with some of those pillows, goddamn I would be so happy.
Have you ever had to call the cops on someone else before? *I* didn't, but my sister did on a VERY obviously intoxicated (or dealing with something similar) driver. This motherfucker nearly hit so, SO many people, like I KNOW we weren't the only people who called them in, given we were on a Raleigh (NC capitol) highway, where it's extremely busy. It was actually on my birthday on the way back home and I was in full panic attack mode freaking the TOTAL fuck out. I just hate cars, man.
Don’t you hate it when people suddenly love a celebrity when they die? I. HATE. This question. Somebody - and usually someone very loved by a massive number of people, if they're a celebrity - just fucking DIED, left the fucking world, and you wanna complain about people caring? Go fuck yourself, like jesus fucking christ.
What was the last cocktail you drank? I tried a Mai Tai yesterday that Mom made, but it was disgusting (aka too strong) so I certainly didn't truly drink it.
Are you good at keeping running counts and tallies in your head? NONONOONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, it is honestly absurd how bad I am at remembering numbers in any context. With counting, if you say a SINGLE word to me while I'm focusing way too fuckin hard on not messing up, I'm immediately losing where I was, even if it was single digits.
Are there any foods you hate the smell of but like the taste, or vice versa? Well, I absolutely adore the smell of coffee, but I think it tastes disgusting. I'm sure there's other stuff, too.
Do you have a dishwasher? Yes, thank god.
Do you make to-do lists? I actually recently downloaded a nice to-do list program on this laptop that I've been enjoying using. It's been helping me. It's called Todoist if you wanna check it out, it's nice, and free.
What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? "Hun(ny)," "dear," "darling," and "love" are most common for me with friends. I'm also one of those people who use "bitch" affectionately lmao, don't be offended by me saying that.
What pet names do you like to be called? Just about anything is fine with me, but I definitely favor cute ones, like I know I've mentioned in the past a doctor I used to see who called all her patients (including elderly men) "ladybug" and it was my favorite thing ever, please she was SO cute and I miss her. OH, one I CAN think of that I will absolutely hate from anyone is "princess," holy fucking shit don't.
Have you ever developed your own film? No.
What breed was the last dog you saw? She's a chihuahua.
What’s your favorite thing to do at the end of the day? Lately my unwinding routine in bed has been scroll through Tumblr, then Facebook before actually trying to sleep. Sometimes I'll add Insta or Pinterest.
Do you have a hard time letting things go? I have a miserably hard time letting people go, like it's absurd JUST how reluctant I am with basically anybody, no matter what they've done.
When did you last feel fear? Stepping on the scale for my weight to be logged at the psychiatrist today. THANKFULLY, it hadn't gone up.
What last made you smile? I saw this super fuckin cute picture I hadn't seen before on Tumblr of Richard and Paul being girlfriends, smiling was mandatory
Have you ever walked through a sunflower field? NO BUT I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s your favorite song from her? No, but there are a couple mega-old songs by her I enjoy; I sincerely and wholeheartedly love "Love Story," and I'm sorry but "Picture To Burn" is a CLASSIC that I think every teenager has belted at least once lmfao
What’s something great that has happened to you recently? Actually today at PT, I noticed in the mirror that the pants I regularly wear out looked a lot baggier on me than what I'd grown used to. I commented mostly to myself on it, and Mom pointed out, "Brittany, you have absolutely lost weight," and it was really really REALLY validating and exciting to know other people could see progress.
Would you ever paint your bedroom bright blue? No. Maybe a lighter blue, but not bright.
What’s your favorite way to eat rice? As pork fried rice.
What’s something that has really impacted your life? Dealing with a plethora of mental illnesses, as well as experiencing relationship trauma.
What did you last have as a snack? Some peach rings.
Do you like lima beans? NO, I despise all beans. As a kid I used to explain hating lima beans with "they have fluff in them" and girl real and true 😭
How many bottles do you see from where you’re sitting? Just the water bottle by me.
Do you ever do these surveys with your SO? Nah.
Do you have a waste basket in your car? Mom generally keeps a plastic bag hooked around the transmission thing.
What’s the last wild animal you have seen? Well realistically I'm sure a bird, but maybe close to a week ago, a rabbit was in our front yard around dusk! Lil guy was just grazing and I freaked bc bunny. I immediately tried getting a picture of it from my window, but because of the lighting but especially the window blinds, it wasn't gonna happen.
Something you were surprised to learn about your parent’s childhood? [TW: RAPE] Childhood, idk, but I never knew my mother was drugged by her "boyfriend" and date-raped until like, literally this year. That's how Katie got here. My mom is just too fucking good for this world and even any heaven, I learned because via DNA testing and stuff Katie recently got in touch with her father, and has apparently been building a relationship with him, and my mom is entirely refusing to tell her what really brought her here; like, I asked her, and she responded with so much fire and SO quickly that she was not taking this away from her. I cannot IMAGINE the pain it causes her, especially when Katie's told her he's been nice. I just can't even try to imagine, I fuckin can't.
Have you ever told a friend you thought their parent was hot? Uh no, that's weird.
Have you ever destroyed another person’s belongings out of anger? Absolutely not, find a better way to be angry, ffs.
Which painkiller do you use? Usually Ibuprofen 'cuz it's cheaper than Advil but still basically the same thing.
Would you like to be part of a wedding party? It's honestly not my favorite thing, primarily because of all the pictures, but of course I would be in them for my family and close friends.
Have you ever thrown anything up to hang on the power/phone lines? No, not a fan of that.
Something you taught yourself how to do? Edit videos in Sony Vegas programs at least semi-decently.
What is the last song you listened to in a car? Uhhhh I honestly can't remember what was the last thing on this morning.
Do you currently feel calm? Yeah, I'm fine. Probably going to sleep soon; surprised I'm not already honestly, last night was TERRIBLE sleep-wise and I've been a complete zombie today, so I really shouldn't be awake.
If applicable, what’s your favorite sports team? Not into sports.
When did you last sign your signature? Today at the psychiatrist actually, for a certain sort of info release.
What cover do you think is better than the original song? Two BLARINGLY obvious ones imo that I always instantly go to: Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt" (originally by Nine Inch Nails) and Disturbed's cover of "Sound of Silence" (originally by Simon & Garfunkel). Like, it's not even a competition.
Who is the last person that gave you butterflies? Girt.
Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? Girt is coming over tomorrow so I'm sure I will.
Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? No.
If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? In Meerkat Manor, it's Mozart. Growing up it was always Flower, but I mean, she was basically everybody's with her being like the "main" character that you were always rooting for, but I've considered it Mozart for many years now. Don't get me wrong, I adore Flower (I loved every single meerkat merely mentioned in that show), but Mozart was just a truly gentle meerkat, even without the MM script that made up or altered things. In That '70s Show, it's SO hard to pick because all the characters are so memorable and lovable in their own way, but I think I've always liked Hyde the most.
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awesomeblog-92 · 1 year
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Upgraded features include quick color printing, copying, faxing
HP Officejet Pro 6978 vs 9015 Wireless printing, two-sided duplex printing and scanning, a color touchscreen, an automated document feeder, Instant Ink readiness so you'll never run out of ink, and more are among the main features of this HP color inkjet photo printer. Wireless scanning and copying are also available. The HP OfficeJet Pro 6978 is a great option for home offices or small workgroups that need high-quality, competitively priced color that prints quickly and efficiently. You can quickly print from your laptop, tablet, or phone whenever you need to. Get mobile setup and straightforward mobile printing options. You can connect whichever you choose using Ethernet and wireless networking. monthly, print 700 pages or more. Ink is given to you automatically so you never run out. After the first six months, you may save up to 50% on ink until a monthly cost takes effect unless you cancel. Print color presentations, brochures, and flyers in high quality for home offices and small businesses. Upgraded features include quick color printing, copying, faxing, automatic 2-sided printing and scanning, mobile and wireless printing, auto document feeder, and USB printing. Dual-band WiFi with self-healing Problems are automatically detected and fixed using Wi-FiTM. Your first two months of HP Instant Ink (optional) subscription are free; beyond the trial period, choices with shipping and recycling included start at $2.99 per month. Business-oriented: reduce costs by 50% compared to lasers while saving paper, producing professional-quality color quickly, and doing more tasks without sacrificing speed. FAST PRINTING SPEEDSPrint at speeds of up to 22 pages per minute for black-and-white and up to 18 pages per minute for color. The ideal multifunction printer It was recognized as the best all-in-one printer by Wirecutter in March 2021. IMPORTANT ADVANCED FEATURES FOR MOBILE PRINTING, SECURITY, AUTOMATIC UPDATES, AND MORE HP+ SMART FEATURES AT NO COST Gain access to these features and more by activating HP+ for free. HP+ only works with an HP account, an internet connection, and Original HP Ink for the life of the printer.The HP Officejet Pro Premier model comes with two years of HP Instant Ink service, according to the 300-page plan. Two paper trays are available on the HP Officejet Pro 9025 printer, which can copy and scan double-sided documents in a single operation. You very definitely can. You cannot, however, print it on both sides at once. only when the blank side of the paper is facing the page and the inkjet nozzles are pointing in that direction when it is inserted into the printer's feeder. The fax menu can be accessed using the touch screen, and doing so will display a numberpad. The package comes with a complimentary phone cord. Although I haven't tried it yet, I believe it can fax double-sided documents that are in the feeder tray. It works for copying. I'm sorry, but I haven't given it a shot. I'm giving this printer three stars. It slightly disappointed me. Take care when using the Instant Ink program. The automated pricing and shipment were stopped. If you don't renew, all of the supplied ink cartridges, even the ones in the box that haven't been used, will become inactive.
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So little life update I keep forgetting to write about. I really hope I can save these Tumblr posts as a sort of journal cause that's what I've been using it as.
October 19th, 2022 I was sent to the hospital and was incoherent for 3 days
That previous night, Wednesday, I remember working and we also had a staff meeting. I remember they got us Panera bread and then I went home, talked with family, and after that everything is blank.
Apparently my mom woke up the next morning, Thursday, to hear me yelling "ow". She said I had spittle, not exactly throw up, all over my face and that I was combative and confused and kept trying to hit her. She and dad struggled to get me up the stairs and into the car to go to the hospital.
I remember absolutely nothing. Apparently when I first came in, the doctors thought I'd overdosed on something. But the only thing I remember doing was smoking weed, as is typical in my daily routine, maybe I had alcohol but I really don't remember.
I was in the hospital for 4 days, 3 of them barely coherent. It all felt like a dream to me. I specifically remember one, where there were people in masks and white protective gear surrounding me, telling me it's okay but I still struggled, but then I saw my mom. She was also wearing the gear and a mask, and her hair in my memory was super frazzled and frizzy, but I recognized her eyes, and it calmed me down.
My mom told me later they'd had to restrain me at some points, it was that bad. I truly have no memory of anything, except that "dream"
When I first woke up and was actually cognitive, my mom said the first thing I asked was "is today Thursday?" Cause I was worried about having to work.
But my workplace was super understanding and oh so nice, they gave me and amazon and Visa gift cards. They're so generous, especially since they'd already helped us out with gift cards when we went though the basement floods a few months ago. I honestly loved that place, one of the best Ive worked at.
Back to the hospital though, I woke up and found they'd put a diaper on me. It was very embarrassing and when I had to pee they brought me a portable toilet to pee in front of everyone. I thought I'd get pee shy like the last time I was at a hospital but I was still so out of it I didn't care.
Mom also brought her tablet for me to watch things. I remember putting on the new "Light-year" pixar movie but remember nothing from it except lesbeans. I remember the doctors coming in and asking questions but I still was just barely awake to answer them. I knew the date, but just from what my mom had told me, I didn't truly understand what day it was. I forgot the passwords to my phone and laptop; I remembered my phone after about a day but my laptop took forever to remember, even though it's the easiest password, 1234. I also forgot how to write for a bit, even my name. It took at least two more days after being released to remember my signature and laptop password, which was very scary. Forgetting things that almost seemed like second nature?? I can't even describe the feeling. Hopeless and helpless are the best I can get I suppose.
They did a lot of tests while I was ,"asleep," but when I woke up they did a Lumbar puncture, CT scan, and MRI. All showed normal results.
It was a terrifying experience. I lost four days of my life without even knowing it, and all a month before I'm leaving for Europe. Im so upset by it, I was exercising and practicing languages and so much before the hospital, then it happened and I just couldn't get into a good routine again
Just thought I'd write the experience down so I dont forget
Currently in Europe but I'm keeping a physical journal to document experiences, but I may make a few more vent posts here
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burnsbjsmunk · 2 years
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Youtube keeps showing ads on my kid watching baby shark and similar videos.
This is the question that I've been asking over the last two years since I began giving my daughter the tablet with all the Youtube channels designed specifically for infants. According to certain sources, they assist babies grow, improve cognitive, and other functions. They also encourage social and mental development. I can see that my daughter is enthralled by the videos. She keeps her eyes open and laughing, and she loves it. I'm not understanding the commercials. My child does not consume products so why are you insisting to show my baby advertisements on YouTube at times but not babies? First, babies don't understand commercials. They are both a waste of money and a waste resource. This commercial (video) is just one example of waste. They are babies, they don't understand! If you're saying that Why are you showing these ads to infants? If a mother, father, or other baby caregivers are watching, then the ads could be beneficial to them? It's becoming frustrating for me. This is also true with cat videos. Recently, I noticed that my cat loves watching these captivating videos for cats. It's usually birds or mice however, my cat watches them without moving for many hours. Hunting I suppose. They keep interrupting the videos with ads, trying to sell you something. My cat isn't an avid viewer of these videos. For her, ads are irrelevant. Maybe they think I'm watching these videos with my cat. They are in part correct, to be honest I have a tendency to watch the shammy cat videos and my cat more frequently than I do something useful. That's how I came across the perfect solution. It's basically downloading Youtube videos on my laptop to my tablet or my daughter's tablet to play later. This is as if I were offline and had to have the hard copy stored on my hard drive instead of streaming it via Youtube. See what I mean? This website lets you keep video on your computer rather than accessing it via Youtube when your cat needs to watch birds. This means that I can simply double-click the mp4 file to save it on my desktop. Then, it runs in VLC immediately, without ads , and then gets right into the fun of my cat. The same process is applicable to all baby videos and channels. I just search for all the videos my daughter likes to watch, download the videos from Youtube to my desktop , and then transfer them to her tabled from there. If it's only 1-2 songs, I sometimes use her tablet. It's easier to use this website from your desktop computer. You can then transfer the video files the location you'd like them to be. Perhaps it's just me, being a neo-classical. It was an amazing mobile data-saving device. Before the downloading of videos from Youtube became reality, I had to always keep my tablet connected to the internet, either through a hotspot connected to my phone or sometimes I'd even get a special data plan for my tablet, if we would go far for vacation.. Data is extremely expensive when you are roaming it... This is why my data usage went down 3-4 times, now we actually started rolling over a small amount of data for next months, which is an absolute surprise to us. Normally, we'd have to pay for exceeding our monthly allowance three or four times.. This is why I suggest to all parents of young children and cat owners who love their pets that you download your videos from Youtube or other sites onto your device, save them in mp4 file format and play them later without any additional data usage. https://mp3juices.cyou I truly hope that you liked my suggestions and tricks for the data and Internet wealth-rich household. This may sound somewhat absurd.
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snakefaerie · 3 years
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I'm thinking about commissioning a Dan body pillow but uhhh idk any artists that would be willing to do that or not 😔👌👌
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issaxcharlie · 3 years
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Ghost Of You 2/2
Pairing: Ghost! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader
Summary: Luke, Reggie and Alex have to assimilate their loss. For Luke of his girlfriend, and for the others of their best friend after suddenly learning that she didn’t have the future they imagined, and instead died 23 years ago.
Thank you to @cookiebuba for being the head of the entire idea and trusting me with it, and to Emy for almost holding my hand to force me to write🤣💜
PART 1 HERE
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“It can’t be.”
“Luke, I-”
"No, Julie. You are not telling me that the woman of my life, the purest person who has ever stepped on this world, not only lost her partner and her best friends, but was only able to live her life for two more years and then ended in a horrible accident. It's as if life wanted to torture her before taking her too.”
“Love of ?... Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. Of course.”
“I- It can’t be true, please tell me it’s not true, Julie.”
“Luke... she loved you so much.”
He falls on the floor. The impact is strong, as if his legs have stopped working.
"I know." He whispers slowly, his gaze empty as multiple tears fall from his eyes.
The rest of the gang threw themselves to the ground around him and hugged him with all their might, trying to unite his broken pieces without any success. Alex and Reggie each crying silently over the loss of their sweet friend.
“What day did she pass away? Alex whispers.
"Let me search, one moment." Julie gets up quickly and checks on her laptop to find a little note about the singer's death.
"The rising singer Y/N Y/L who had just released the biggest hit of her career passed away this afternoon in a terrible car accident after leaving the cemetery where her late boyfriend, Luke Patterson, was buried. Y/L was there in commemoration of the 2 years of the loss of the aspiring musician, who died from a sudden tragic intoxication along with the rest of his band. Something to rescue from this tragedy is that at least she's already reunited with her eternal love. May both rest in peace.”
“This can’t be. My Y/N can’t be gone. Not her, not like that.” Luke is still in denial, unable to believe that his little girl suffered such a terrible ending.
“Maybe she’s not. There's still a chance that she's also a ghost.”
“Yeah, Julie’s right. We need to look out for her, we can't write her off without trying to find her first.” Reggie's eyes sparkle with hope, rushing to cover Alex's mouth in case he says anything other than motivating.
Luke takes his flannel and disappears immediately. Both Reggie and Alex stare sadly at Julie who simply whispers a "go, he needs you." They nod and teleport to their friend.
As expected, Luke is in front of the window of an old music store. He met his girlfriend here so many years ago, the day his parents agreed to buy him his first guitar.
The store had a small section where customers could try out some instruments and she was playing the guitar they had there and singing for the small audience. It seemed like it was something she did often because both the workers and certain customers seemed familiar with the girl.
Luke was captivated by her from the first moment. The energy and passion that radiated from her in every move was unreal. He had never seen anyone happier, much less singing with a borrowed guitar from a small downtown store.
The store is completely abandoned, so without saying anything he comes in and walks towards the small stage.
The ghosts of two 12-year-old kids singing together into the microphone invades his memory. If they only knew.
"Do you remember what was the first thing she said to you?" Reggie and Alex sit next to him on the floor, looking straight at the very small stage. They both try to imagine what their friends must have looked like singing here together the first time. Luke totally invading little Y/N's presentation trying to captivate her with his 0% music experience and 100% of enthusiasm.
Luke laughs through tears. "You have the voice of a country singer."
Alex starts crying when he imagines her. He met her just a few weeks later so he knows exactly how she must have looked and sound.
Reggie smiles while shedding a tear, remembering all those afternoons Y/N convinced Luke to join them in their country sessions. He knows that's why Luke hasn't wanted to know anything about country or his songs since they got back. They remind him of his sweet girl.
“I was so offended. I still didn't know anything about music but I had already decided that I would be a rocker. If I hadn't already been so dazzled by her I would have left without looking back.”
“And what did you answer to defend your honor?”
"You think so?" The three of them start laughing while still crying. A heartbreaking mix of pain comes from their chests.
“C’mon guys, next stop.”
The three of them were teletransporting around the city during the day without any success. Luke's desperation increasing for every place the songwriter wasn't.
At night the three decide to go back to the studio. Luke is heartbroken, bloated after crying all day, eyes red and sore, and whatever it was that was driving him to continue, off.
His friends couldn't do much for him either because each was living the loss in their own way, concentrating on living their own pain until they could process it.
Julie wraps them in blankets on the couch and tries to fill them with love, making sure to hug Luke tightly, who seems about to fall apart.
“Does anyone want to talk about her? Maybe it could make you feel better.”
“She was my entire soul, the words and melody in each of my songs. I just, I love her more than anything in this world. I would give anything for her. My guitar, my voice, my songs, whatever it took for us to be together. I know it doesn't seem like it at this point, but we belong together.”
“We know you do, man.”
“I didn't tell you but I dream about her almost every night since we got back. It is always the same dream. She is in bed, leaving my side intact. She's wearing one of my shirts and hugging my favorite one while sobbing. She falls asleep listening to the ballad I wrote for her soaked in tears and no matter how hard I try to wake her up, I can't get her to see or hear me. I can’t get her. After a few minutes she gets up still asleep and begins to dance as we did so many times, but alone. Then she stops and starts crying again inconsolably. And that's when I wake up."
"I'm so sorry, Luke. She deserved so much more." Reggie walks over to hug him, his head resting on his arm while he sobs.
“We couldn't even say goodbye to her.” Alex cries, his eyes completely red.
“We already know that she visited your graves, perhaps we could do the same, dedicate a few words to her.” Julie offers in an attempt to help them find some peace.
Luke looks devastated, but he nods his head as tears continue to fall from his face, the ring that his girlfriend gave him going in and out of his finger. Alex hugs Julie while she strokes his hair in an effort to calm him down and Reggie runs up to get a notebook and pencil to start planning what to say to his best friend tomorrow.
The three of them hang around all night, crying, writing, hugging, remembering the spark of Sunset Curve. In the morning before going to visit her, they realize is exactly the 25th anniversary of that tragic night that changed the lives of the four forever. Luke nearly punches a hole in the wall upon hearing the sad coincidence.
Her grave is right next to Luke's, who has never been here before and can't help but feel a bit anxious.
“Don’t worry, I’ll start.” Reggie tells the guitarist as he takes a step forward, a small smile on his lips.
"Hello, princess. Long time, huh? I'm Reggie, by the way. In case you don't recognize me from the slight change in my hair. I am trying a little more gel, I want something more elegant and classic. What do you think? Yes, I also thought you would like it.” Julie and Alex smile at hearing him talk to her as natural as possible.
“I tried very hard to think of what to say, because if there is anyone who deserves my best words, it is you. And three things came to mind that I want to share with you.
First, the color yellow.
Yellow like the guitar you were saving for two years to buy. You did everything. You were a babysitter, you walked dogs, you worked in the school library, you sang with your old acoustic guitar in every cafe, basically everything that will let you win some money.
And the day before you could finally go buy it, my dad broke my bass in a moment of anger in one of his typical fights with mom that got really out of hand. At least he didn’t hurt her, huh? But when you're a kid you don't even think about the possibility that something like that could happen, you just focus on the broken instrument in your hand. I ran out and ended up on the stairs of your house with my face soaked and one of the broken pieces in my hand.
You hugged me and promised that everything would be fine. That I was always going to have you four and that we would always be family. You assured me that good things happen to good people. And I believed you, you know? You were always right. But now that I'm here, that I know you didn't have the happy ending you deserved, I'm honestly not so sure anymore.”
Luke and Alex start crying again, each hugging Reggie from one side. Reg tries with all his might to continue through the tears, while Julie looks at them with a broken heart.
“The next day when I came back from school a new bass was on my bed. You talked to Mom so she could take the credit for the gift, but coincidentally was exactly the bass that I fell in love with a year earlier when we went to check if your beloved yellow guitar hadn't dropped in price. Luke revealed to me a few months later that you had to borrow money from your mom in order to complete the exact money for that one.
How generous do you have to be in order to do something like that? how noble? How loving? How selfless? You were always more than I deserved. I was supposed to be like an older brother for you, but it was always you who took care of me. I have Julie and Carlos, and I'm trying to be with them as you were with me. I had the best step sister in the world to teach me, and I hope I can do you justice.” Julie starts crying too after hearing his words, and resists the urge to going to hug him because she knows that they need their space to let go all the suffering that they carry.
“Second, my leather jacket.
When we started the band we made a 100% commitment to being rockstars. And a very important part is the look. You accompanied me on a walk around the city looking for the right outfit to literally go sing to the people who were lining up in front of the clubs.
Anyone could have left me alone on that for multiple reasons, not even these two wanted to face the trouble. But you followed me without thinking twice.
The afternoon was over and we still haven't found anything. Our feet couldn't take it anymore and we had 10 minutes to run to the club. But we stopped by a little store that had a black leather jacket in the window and you said, Reg, this is it.
You excitedly took me by the hand and when I tried it on, the rest was history.
Then I tried to get the whole band to use them but these two boys without fashion sense didn’t want to. You, on the other hand, supported me and wore your leather jacket during all the Sunset Curve performances we had, convincing me that they were our good luck charms and that if we both used them everything would be amazing. Oh god, I miss you so much.
And third, a star.
I thought you were a star when I heard you sing for the first time.
I thought you were a star when you and Luke managed to write the whole Sunset Curve album in 2 months.
I thought you were a star when you bought me my bass, when you made Alex feel better after one of his strongest attacks, when you filled Luke with love and support when he needed it the most.
And I believe it now that I know you are gone.
If you are in heaven, you have to be a star. And not just a star, the brightest star of all. I promise to look for your light every night to wish you sweet dreams. I will also sing you some country since you were the only one who appreciated my incredible sound, I hope it makes you smile.”
“That was beautiful, Reggie. I’m sure she loved it.” Julie finally reaches out to hug him as Alex prepares to be next.
“Hey. I don’t even know where to start.
I- I guess I should start saying I could never pay you all the times you were there to pick me up when I needed someone the most. I went back to dancing a little again. It's not the same without you, but somehow it makes me feel you close. I also met someone, oh Y/N, he’s so special, I'm sure you would have loved him and I would have loved the opportunity to introduce him to you. You were always there.
You were there to support me when I decided to learn drums to cope with my anxiety. You sang the song I was practicing over and over to keep me company and reassure me that what I was doing sounded good.
You were there to support me when I told you I like to dance. We spent hours choreographing different iconic songs and just laughing and enjoying creating more memories together.
Not shocking at this point but you were also there for me when I confessed to my parents I’m gay and you gave me strength all those times that I wanted to fall because they no longer saw me the same way.
You were always my safe place. And I regret with all my heart that I couldn’t be yours.”
Alex breaks down. She kept them on their feet during her darkest days and they paid her off by causing her the most horrible pain imaginable. Julie and Reggie surround her in their arms while sobbing. The last one of the band standing moves closer to the grave and drops to his knees.
“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so fucking sorry.” Luke tries to be strong, but tears start falling like waterfalls from his eyes, his face red in a mixture of despair, sadness and anger.
“I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. Baby, I've been without you for only 1 month and I’m going crazy, even with the boys and Julie by my side. I don't even want to imagine what you must have been through those two years. My soul is shattered just thinking about it.
At first when we returned I imagined you were happy after having fulfilled all our plans with someone else. And I thought nothing could hurt me more than that, but obviously I was wrong. Because although it hurt me that I couldn’t be the one who was with you, thinking that you had been happy gave me the peace to be able to continue. Now that I know that life took away your opportunity, the only thing I feel is anger.
Anger towards me, anger towards destiny. Anger at not being able to be together even after death. Since we discovered where you are, I have only been able to think of cross over and finally be with you again.
Or at least go back to the night before everything turned into a nightmare. Fall asleep with you in my arms one more time.
I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss, as you would say, in a gesture of love.”
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“Hello again, my love.
I can't believe 25 years have passed. First of all, I want you to know that I'm okay. Or well, the equivalent for ghosts that are destined to haunt the earth alone for all eternity. I made a friend for several years, Rose. I told you about her, remember? I know you guys would have been good friends, she was a ridiculously talented musician. Since she died I no longer had the strength to go back to the studio, but for a long time I enjoyed her company in one of my favorite places. She promised to tell you that I'm waiting for you. I will wait whatever time is necessary, okay? I love you so much, baby.
You three are always on my mind, and I think I can finally accept that the pain is just never going to go away. But lately something super strange has happened to me, let me tell you.
Throughout these years, in the darkest days, I see you. But, they were always memories.
A month ago, I started to see you having other kinds of experiences and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Am I going that crazy? I selfishly hoped that you too were ghosts for so many years. I looked for you 5, 10, 15, 20 years. And just as I decide to give up, my head imagines you all over the city.
The first time I saw you singing Reggie's jam on the beach. You guys looked so happy, love. It filled my heart with peace for a few seconds, knowing that somewhere up there you are enjoying life singing together all day.
Then I saw my beloved Alex with a cute boy. My heart melted, I can’t even explain how much I wanted to run to hug him and gossip about it.
Baby, he looked so peaceful. I always wanted that for Alex. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry because that didn’t actually happen, so I did both.
The penultimate time was a few nights ago when I was walking in front of the Orpheum and I heard your voices. How wicked my mind is, right? A knife to the heart would hurt less.
And now, I can't even get close to your grave because I'm imagining you all again.”
Y/N doesn't know what to do, if she gets close enough will they disappear? What If they don’t? Will she bear to see them up close? She has been dancing with their ghosts in her dreams for so many years, but It’s not the same as doing it when she is fully awake.
She is about to run out of there in fear when the silhouette of a fourth person catches her attention. She doesn't know why, but it immediately reminds her of Rose. Could it be that she is imagining her friend too?
Curiosity is stronger than fear, like all those times when she got into trouble with her boys. She walks carefully towards her grave which is next to her beloved Luke.
“I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss as you would say, in a gesture of love.”
“I don't freaking snore, I told you a million times already... and now I'm talking with my imagination, great.”
The band turns in shock towards the fifth voice. That's when she can see the girl's face and realize who she is.
“Julie? But, how?”
“Y/N?” Alex whispers on the verge of passing out.
She starts to panic, just before the boys can do something about it, a new person appears behind her.
“Hey, you took a long time." She turns around and jumps into the arms of who has become her only friend in recent years.
“Phoenix, thank god.” Her body continues to shake but she clings tightly to her friend while crying uncontrollably.
To say the ghosts are confused would be an understatement. And apart from that, the guitarist is having many conflicts with the jealousy that he is feeling at the moment. They haven't seen each other in 25 years and when they finally do, she runs into someone else's arms and clings to him like her life depends on it.
What does that mean for them? Is it too late?
“Beautiful, what's wrong? Who are they? Oh, wait. You guys were at the club a few weeks ago, you're friends with Willie, right?”
Luke feels like dying all over again hearing him call her that. She continues to shake but finally lets go.
“What? You can see them?”
“Shouldn’t I?” He looks at her skeptical and shifts his eyes from her to the ghosts.
“I- Oh my god. I'm going to pass out.“
“Baby, look at me.” Luke’s voice is a mix between a plea and a demand. The terror of knowing that perhaps he has already lost her without having had the opportunity to fight for her clouds his judgment and tears begin to fall from his face again.
25 years. 25 years fighting not to forget his voice. 25 years having him only in dreams, in memories, in melodies. 25 years waiting for him. 25 years on her own.
She turns slowly to meet those honey-green eyes she craved for so long to see, a painful smile from Luke makes her smile through tears.
She carefully lifts her right hand and gently draws it to his cheek, almost exploding at the feel of it.
“You came back. Oh my, It’s really you.” She jumps to the guitarist, entwining her legs at his hips, her arms tangled with all her strength around him, her head buried in his neck inhaling his scent. Tears coming out as if to drown her, all the pain and suffering that she faced all these years finally leaving her body.
Luke wraps her tightly in his arms, still unable to process what’s happening.
Alex and Reggie begin to smile without fully assimilating what is happening, while Julie begins to jump of joy.
“Babygirl, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but I have to rush to the club. Will you be okay here?"
“She's always safe with me." The guitarist growls, and Y/N starts laughing when she hears it.
"The jealous, protective baby in the beanie is right, don't worry Nix. I’ll go and find you later."
Phoenix nods with a smile and disappears. Julie begins to scold Luke while Reggie and Alex approach to touch the cheek of their best friend, still in the arms of the guitarist who does not seem to have any intention of letting go.
“We should go home to catch up. Reggie and I will accompany Julie, it seems that you two should speak alone first." Luke doesn't think twice and disappears with her in his arms.
“Good things happen to good people.” Reggie whispers as he hugs his friends and they start walking home.
Luke and Y/N reappear in the studio and they are both shocked for a few seconds. The girl trembles again in fear of dreaming.
“Hey, come here baby. Shh, I’m here, I promise.”
“Don’t leave me ever again, please.” He can see that it is very difficult for her to understand that is really happening, and to think that she lived without him not 2 but 25 years makes him want to cry again.
“I won’t. I promise, beautiful. Never again.” Luke wraps her in his arms, but she lifts her head from his chest to push her lips against his. The kiss is urgent, but they both instantly recognize each other and fit in perfectly. Luke picks her up again and gently lays her down on the couch, both desperate to feel the other, to recognize every inch.
“I missed you so much baby, I love you more than anything.” Luke whispers between kisses, not willing to have her an inch away from him.
“I love you my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” She says while kissing the love of her life, happy for the first time in 25 years.
Before things get to escalate, the rest of the band shows up in the studio followed by Julie who clearly walks through the door.
"Let go of her man, it's our turn!" Y/N gets up quickly from the sofa while her boyfriend complains and she throws herself at both of them who pick her up as best they can and spin her in the air.
They put her down and Julie and her stare each other, both raise their arms and meet in a quick but sweet hug.
“You said my name back there, how?” The question that she has stuck since she met her finally coming to light.
“I met your mom many years ago when I came to visit the studio and realized that she could see me. We were friends for many years and I had the opportunity to see you grow up, but I always made sure to be upstairs when you came in in case you could see me too.”
“Well, now I understand how Carlos felt when he found out that we lived with ghosts. And It sounds like mom watches over us both from heaven.”
“Yeah, I’m sure she does.” Both girls smile and hug each other once more.
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“I can't believe I endured 25 years without having those beautiful arms around me.” She whispers as they both lie on the couch, Luke has her completely cornered in his arms.
“I’m so sorry, baby. It breaks my heart that you have suffered that much for so many years.”
“It was not your fault. You lost as much as I did that night. Besides, I always knew that you would find me sooner or later. We belong together.”
“We do. I, I k-know we have way more to talk about but, who was the dude from the cementery?”
The insecurity in his voice is evident and Y/N can't help but smile. His emotions are complex, real, and nothing can make her happier than that.
“I’ll tell you all about my friend later, okay? For now... dance with me? I want to dance with the real deal.” He smiles and they both stand up, hugging each other as they slowly move through the studio as they did many times before life separated them.
The Luke in her arms is her Luke, the same one she has been waiting for so many years, finally back in her arms. And just as she thought when she lived, she will dance with his ghost for all eternity.
Thank you for reading✨✨
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