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#I'm an idiot sometimes

radiates-confusion · 10 months

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Oh my god..... The 'Watercolour Eyes' tiktok audio owns my brain atm (Dear Arkansas Daughter is the name of the full song and it's pretty decent)

So I though, hey, let's have a fun time and attempt to animate a cute little dnd part intro, cause why not.

It won't be that bad, I said. I'm sure I'll get the base sketch and and some of the animatic frames done in an evening, I said. It won't take up too much time, I said.

I AM A DUMBASS. NEVER SAY OTHERWISE.

I have spent the last like.... 4-5 hours trying to get my shitty little storyboard for the basic bitch shapes of the people and scenery (and when I say shitty, it is shitty but it tells me what I want to know) only to realise I have quite probably been trying to line it up with the wrong fucking layer of this section of the fucking song!

I am persevering, because I am an ambitious dumbass, and this audio owns my brain, but like...... 5 hours.... C'mon....

#I'm an idiot sometimes #And it sucks #But I'm also kinda in love with what I'm tryna do #artist #And I ador the idea of dabbling in animation anyway #I probably shouldn't have started with a roughly 35-40 second audio #But oh well #I apparently love to hate myself!#Plus #Who needs sleep!#Me #I need sleep #I just refuse to admit it #Anyway #I'm grabbing a snack and then imma get back to working on when the fuck I want these frames to shift.#buh bye #Unhinged tagging

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basicallyjustmuggleremuslupin · 10 months

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if you just saw me post something i meant to schedule.... no you didn't

#i'm an idiot sometimes

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infinity-crafter · 2 years

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I'm not smart, I just accidentally listened to Uptown Funk on loop for nearly half an hour. Like, I didn't even know time was passing. I'm just sitting here, becoming nostalgic for older music so I go searching it up, and then I get distracted by something else. And nearly half a god dammed hour goes by and I'm just "WoW, Uptown funk is a bit longer than I remember." And as I check amazon music it is revealed to me that I've just been listening to slightly different versions of the same song, and I didn't even question it. Real life "What's New Pussycat" situation for me, I swear to god.

#Text post #I'm an idiot sometimes #ok. maybe all the times #Uptown funk #music

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verypurplepenguins · 2 years

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I shouldn't have gone on a walk outside because it's kind of cold and windy but I'm already halfway around the block so might as well continue lmao

#personal #i'm an idiot sometimes

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lorei-writes · 3 months

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Clavis, while being forced to politely introduce Chevalier (probably): This is my brother, Chevalier, and it took him only 30 years, a 1000+ dead people, the death of our father, and one "you too are a person" broken record of a stubborn girl to stop considering murder the best solution to all his struggles! They got engaged after knowing each other for a month.

#ikepri #ikemen prince #listen ive logged in just to let this idiotic thought out i will be here tomorrow or sometime next week #chevalier michel #clavis lelouch #can't be arsed with adding more tags #YES I AM SOBER I'M JUST TIRED AND LAUGHING LIKE A MADMAN AT STUFF UNRELATED TO THIS

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waywardwendy · 5 months

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Go For a Picnic. Dine at the Ritz...

Okay, I've got an absolutely miserable take on the 1967 scene in the Bentley, after Aziraphale gives Crowley the tartan thermos of holy water.

‼️TRIGGER WARNING‼️, this is going to get a little dark with Aziraphale's assumptions about Crowley's suicidal ideations. Be careful, please.

We all know Crowley has been pining after holy water. (In my dismal opinion, whatever was done to him after he saved Elspeth's soul from damnation in 1827 must have been horrendous, and that's where this request came from.) He asked for it in 1862 when he met with Aziraphale in St. James Park, and was turned down.

And we all already know exactly what Aziraphale thought he wanted it for.

We also know he discovered in 1941 that it was available in churches. No guards surrounding it, and that anyone could just go in and take it.

"Look at that! A whole fontful of holy water. It doesn't even have guards." (His genuine surprise that it's just THERE for the taking.)

Anyway that's not what this is about - this is about Aziraphale's response in 1967.

Obviously, we're all hooked on:

Because, ouch these poor babies really know how to ruin our lives.

So many meanings here. The obvious - you drive like an absolute mad lad and I don't want to be discorporated in a car accident (good lord, the paperwork). The less obvious but definitely there - you jump into things so quickly, I can't keep up.

BUT I'm stuck on this bit:

In my first watch through, I didn't think much of it. "Don't look so disappointed." We can hang out later. I just don't want to drive with you when it's not necessary because you're absolutely terrifying behind the wheel. I'm not telling you to fuck off, call me for dinner some time.

BUT NOW, on my... 5th? 6th? I'm losing track (and my mind) watch, I see it as... begging? As Aziraphale not knowing how to articulate what he's feeling, but desperately trying to communicate it to Crowley anyway.

Because he still thinks Crowley wants the holy water as a way to destroy himself.

I see it as something along the lines of this miserable list;

Please don’t kill yourself.

I need you to not go through with this.

I don’t want to withhold my companionship from you, but I need you to look forward to our time together later so you don't do this now.

I’m not going to spend time with you now, I can’t let you use it as some final goodbye in your mind.

We can go for a picnic, please stay alive long enough for us to do that.

We can dine at the Ritz, please stay alive long enough for us to go there.

And, to be honest, watching it through again with this lens, I wonder if Aziraphale is more grateful for Crowley's company every time they see each other because he didn't go through with it.

I wish I could find a better way to articulate this, and the way it wrings out my heart like a wet rag, but here we are.

Enjoy my misery with me.

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dootznbootz · 6 months

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Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice. She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground.

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

#feel free to add thoughts! just be nice #Was a bit afraid to post this but now I don't care lol #I'm a tired bitch #Youtube and idiots on tumblr got me acting up.#This may be too thorough but idc.#idk why the colors get weird #I don't know how other people can see all these things lined up together and not see how he was not okay.#like I said you can still like circe the goddess but know this was wrong!#might make private sometime but fuck it #anti-madeline miller #Circe the goddess is “fine”. Circe the book is not #It sounds like it does her dirty anyways. Odyssey Circe would take book Circe out back and beat the absolute shit outta her.#As another Madeline I'm ashamed.#if you bring up the tele-GONE-y then BEGONE yourself #odysseus #the odyssey #odyssey #circe #tagamemnon #tw rape #tw sa #tw sex assault #crying shaking throwing up #greek mythology #circe rant #odyssey rant #anti madeline miller #anti circe #the BOOK #Mad rambles

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bimoonphases · 1 month

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@wolfstarmicrofic March 14 – prompt 14: Polyjuice Potion – word count 700

Polyjuice Potion - Temporarily transforms the drinker into another person

Remus looked up from his book as Sirius and James stumbled in from the portrait hole. It wasn’t unusual for those two to disappear somewhere together, but the fact that Sirius’s shirt and trousers were baggier than what he usually wore and, conversely, James’s were very tight was.

“Did you two finally shag and put each other’s clothes back on by mistake?” Lily piped up from the carpet where Peter was absolutely destroying her at chess.

“You wish, Evans,” Sirius said.

“Admit it, you can’t take your eyes off me like this,” James added, pirouetting to show the way his trousers were clinging to his skin.

Remus frowned. Something wasn’t right.

“There’s something weird about you two,” Mary voiced his thoughts from the armchair where she was braiding Marlene’s hair. “I mean, weirder than usual.”

James winked while Sirius passed a hand through his hair and suddenly it clicked.

“No!” Peter exclaimed, apparently having come to Remus’s same conclusion.

He got up and walked over to their friends, looking at them closely.

“You didn’t!” he stepped back, eyes wide.

“Did what, exactly?” Marlene asked.

“These two went and drank Polyjuice Potion!” Peter said. “How did you do it?”

“Slughorn’s personal stash,” James and Sirius chorused.

“Wait, so you,” Mary pointed at James, “are really Sirius?”

“Correct,” ‘James’ bowed.

“And you are actually James?” Lily pointed at Sirius.

“You know it, Evans,” ‘Sirius’ smiled.

Remus got up from the couch, eyes fixed on his friends. And then it clicked again.

“For how long will it last?” he asked.

“No clue,” ‘James’ smirked.

“We might be back to ourselves by tomorrow, or we might not,” ‘Sirius’ shrugged.

“But why did-“ Remus started before pinching the bridge of his nose. “No, you know what? Don’t tell me. I’m going to bed. Pete, you coming?”

It didn’t take long for the other two to follow them into the dorm, but it was enough. Peter closed his curtains with a yawn and Remus settled in bed as he peeked at ‘Sirius’ flop down on James’s bed while ‘James’ climbed into Sirius’s before turning the lights out with a flick of his wand. Remus waited a couple of minutes then he got up and tiptoed to Sirius’s bed, silently parting the curtains.

“Pads?” he called softly.

“Moony?” James’s voice hesitated.

“Why?”

Remus settled on the mattress, searching for Sirius’s hand and ending up taking one of James’s calloused hands in his.

“It was fun?”

“If you say so. But it’s weird for me, talking to you and hearing James’s voice instead…” Remus reached up and let his fingers wander on the other’s mouth, ignoring the strangled sound which came from it. He got closer. “Or feeling James’s lips…”

The kiss lasted a couple of seconds before three things happened all at once. ‘James’ jolted back from Remus with so much force he fell of the bed.

“PRONGS, DON’T YOU DARE KISS MY BOYFRIEND!” came from James’s bed.

“LUMOS MAXIMA!” Peter shouted from his.

Remus blinked against the light, taking in James sprawled on the floor, Sirius wide-eyed by James’s bed and Peter, wand in hand, smirking from his.

“You really thought you could play us?” Peter said. “Make your two best friends believe you had swapped bodies?”

“It was worth a try,” James grumbled.

“Not so sure,” Sirius said, eyes fixed on Remus.

“Boyfriend, eh?” Remus smiled.

“I mean…” Sirius blushed. “If you’d like?”

Remus shook his head, laughing.

“I’d love to, you idiot.”

Sirius crossed the room and jumped on the bed, kissing Remus fiercely.

“Fucking finally,” Remus heard Peter say.

“You knew?!” James exclaimed.

“Of course I knew, Prongs, I’ve got eyes.”

Remus laughed again in Sirius’s kiss and they let go of each other, both smiling.

“Well, I learned two new things today, then,” James said, getting up from the floor.

“One is Pads and Moony because you’re oblivious, but what’s the other one?” Peter asked.

James looked at Remus and immediately looked away, blushing.

“Apparently, I’m not straight,” he said.

“Prongs, what the hell?” Sirius groaned as Remus and Peter burst out laughing.

“And that’s what you get for playing your friends for fools,” Remus smirked, pecking his boyfriend on the cheek.

#sometimes James and Sirius are idiots #and sometimes Remus is a little shit #also Remus being James's queer awakening #wolfstar #wolfstar microfic #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #marauders #marauders era #james potter #peter pettigrew #the marauders #the marauders era #lily evans #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #just writing (like i'm supposed to live)

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total-drama-brainrot · 17 days

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for that ‘noah is brought back as an assistant after getting himself eliminated’ idea i think noah should just stop trying to tiptoe around anyone after one day. he puts in one (1) day of effort and then just gives up.

“??? noah???”

“who. im not noah. ive never even heard of a noah.” (has changed his shirts and is wearing sunglasses thats all) (no effort to hide his identity)

Noah puts in a genuine effort to remain undetected for a good while (let's say a week or two) after being whisked away back to Camp Wawanakwa, since he really doesn't want to deal with the idiots he worked so hard to escape from so soon, but it's surprisingly difficult to keep himself just indistinct enough to remain under their radar without making himself look suspicious- either to the contestants themselves or to his newfound co-workers.

Maybe acting like a skittish deer every time one of the campers was around was a bit shady, but could you blame him? Anyone else in his position would be wary of discovery too. No one wants to be put on blast on international TV for the consequences of their actions. Thankfully the other interns are polite enough not to comment when he absconds at the smallest signs of his past competitors.

It doesn't help that the eliminated contestants have started to notice that Noah isn't at the Playa with the rest of them. None of them have asked about him yet, but there's a distinct air of concern at the resort every time someone comments about him- or the lack of him.

So, needless to say, Noah's got quite the reputation as a bit of a cryptid among the cast. Which is fine, he can play into that if it means none of them figure out he's been forcibly employed under their sadistic host. Noah goes out of his way to disguise himself behind different outfits, altered hairstyles and a pair of mirrored shades, and straightens his posture into something less lazy and more 'professional' when he's on the clock; it's impressive how much a change in wardrobe and demeanour can disguise someone, just look at Clark Kent. He essentially becomes a ghost to the cast, to the point that a lot of them begin to doubt he was even real and not a mass hallucination.

(Noah encourages the rest of the interns to play into that misconception, mostly because he finds it funny but also because it would aid him in his effort to remain undetected.)

But the trickery soon becomes more hassle than it's worth; Noah's about 80% certain he could do his job in the same outfit he'd worn on the island and not a single person would bat an eye, let alone recognise him. That's the power of being a wallflower- he's fairly unassuming and able to blend into the background. It's his confidence in his lack of notability that leads to him to becoming complacent.

In fact he makes a game out of it, if only to curb the boredom of his job. He goes from spy-level subterfuge to the barest minimum of a disguise; at one point he just slaps on a fake moustache and his mirrored sunglasses and calls it a day. No one notices. This only serves to encourage his blasé attitude towards his discovery- the cast are way too oblivious to notice him, after all.

Which is why Noah's inevitably discovered when he delivers a coffee to Chris on-set dressed in his usual outfit, the only attempt at a disguise being a haphazardly thrown on blonde wig. (Namely, the same wig Courtney later uses in Action.)

"Is that Noah?"

Comes a disbelieving outburst from the cast. Noah isn't sure who said it, but the statement draws attention onto him which is the last thing he wants.

He has to divert suspicion quickly before it's too late.

"No, this is Patrick."

#sometimes i think i'm so funny. i'm not but it's nice to think i am.#assistant noah is yet another victim of my “noah becomes a local cryptid” agenda #alternatively i was gonna put him in a t-shirt that says “not noah” but that was a little on the nose #noah goes from “no one must know my shame” to “these people are idiots why am i even trying” in the span of a week. lazy king.#total drama #td noah #assistant noah au #others' ideas #silly ideas #shitposting #memes #replies

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mobydickering · 2 months

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merlin magic reveal where they're on some sort of jaunt through the forest™ and they come across land that's been sucked dry of everything, and albion itself screams for merlin to fix the wrongs he's committed by killing magical beings on this soil. and merlin stumbles off his horse and sinks his hands into the ground and the earth sucks his remorse and his magic from him, and somehow??? arthur knows that for him to have a kingdom to rule over there must be a kingdom left standing, and this--magic being pulled out of merlin while his eyes leak molten gold tears--is the only way he'll have merlin intact and by his side while he rules.

#look i know i'm hyperfixating to avoid the real world #but sometimes you need your emotional support two sides of the same idiot #merthur #bbc merlin #merlin #i just think that they're so fucking codependent #merlin makes all his mistakes because of his love for arthur #and i think arthur should have been allowed to do the same

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