#I'm bi so I can say it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sarasade · 5 months

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One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".

Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.

That's the TL;DR version of this post.

ANYWAY here is the long version

Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".

One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.

Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.

It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.

This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.

People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.

I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.

Anyway if you want to read more:

- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info

-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos

-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.

-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa

- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.

-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge

#Also I don't mean that you can always tell if someone is a transphobe or a TERF based on a couple of things they have said.#My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too.#This is not a call out post about how we should go around accusing anti-fujoshi people #todd in the shadows #hbomberguy #sarasade text #even I've got those “Fandom is mostly straight women fetishizing gay men” comments once and it begins to sound kind of passive-aggressive #when you're a bi woman. Lot of fandom stats at AO3 show that fandoms are montly bi women. who are these people calling straight exactly hmm #also straight women are completely ok leave them alone. I know I know Yes I'm so brave for saying this #cw: transphobia

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mice-ducks-and-blots · 5 months

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Fellas is it gay to plant a whole like REALLY HUGE road of flowers exclusively for your enemy. Flowers that, canonically, will wither and die if you don't tend to them for a SINGLE DAY. mAY I ADD that earlier in the story Blot states something like "the falls are ROMANTIC in a way, especially with a full moon in the sky >AND MY WORST ENEMY APPROACHING<"

Like I'm sorry I held it for too long and I need to say it. I am a firm believer that Mickey and Blot have the same as whatever it is that Basil and Ratigan got going on

#to me they're just two bi guys (bi ace for Mickey) who are like. You scare me. You're the only one who can face me at my level.-#-I admire your tenacity so much. I will chase you to hell and back in any challenge you lay out for me. Anyway I hate you. Jerk #I don't ship them in the sense of wanting them to be a couple but there IS tension there and I will DIE on that hill #I also don't think they're exes like Basil and Ratigan probably are but the vibe is the same #Bro will go to such extremes to mess with Mickey in particular it's insane #I really hope I'm not starting any sort of shipping drama in the topolino fandom (certainly a sentence to say)#should i even tag this #eh whatever #mickey mouse #the phantom blot #topolino comics

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tracle0 · 9 months

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Feast your eyes! My pride stars :)!

#pride stars #origami #paper craft #paper stars #handmade #arts and crafts #so it was my cities pride yesterday and I spent the ENTIRE month of July making these lil stars to give out to people!#it went really well actually #I was saying donations appreciated but not mandatory and some people looked so happy just to have some stars!!!#some people were SO generous too like oh my god????#I think there was only one experience I disliked during the event where I was vaguely swarmed and people were helping themselves but #yknow we all get excited haha #got a really cute mushroom bracelet as a trade as well!!!#I have a fair few leftover - lots of aro and ace ones #couple of bi and a couple of pan #ZERO non-binary I should've made more!!#nd obvs some rainbow and trans cause I made the most of them #I'd say lmk if you're near me and you can have some but I am pretty sure none of you know me irl so you can't have any I'm afraid #oh also worth saying - I made the stars I could with the papers I had! Bought purple and pink but I did not try more complex flags cause #I mean. I couldn't really afford to haha?#maybe next year I'll try the lesbian flag too!#ok bye xx #trade-marked

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chirpsythismorning · 3 months

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As a gay Mike truther, this is my favorite bi-Mike evidence

#byler #don't like piling on the discourse #but again #as much as i am a gay mike truther #bi mike is something very special to me #one way ->#'it doesn't have to be one-way.'#oh... so what you're saying is mike's probably been trying to convince himself he can't be gay bc he's attracted to women too...?#but mike..#did you know you can like both?#that it doesn't have to be one way...?#mike in the shot alone right in front of jonathan as he says this #then panning over to reveal will and el paralleling each other #it's whatever #technically me saying i'm a gay mike truther bc the evidence supports it could be seen as invalidating to bi-mike truthers and vise-versa #but healthy discourse needs to be encouraged #just because you don't like someone's interpretation/it goes against yours that doesn't make it inherently homophobic/biphobic #it means you're feeling challenged and that's okay!#bask in it and move on #and if ppl are harassing you #just know they probably have a humiliation kink and you're just feeding it by giving them attention #it's likely they don't care that they've hurt your feelings and nothing is going to change that #not worth the energy

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cienie-isengardu · 6 months

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Tomas & Liu Kang

I’m trying to put things into right perspective about Smoke, Liu Kang’s approach to Tomas and how pushed into background he was during story mode so bear with me while I’m connecting dots.

Also, to be clear, I’m not here to morally judge the characters, just to talk about the dissonance between Smoke vs Liu Kang intro dialogues and the story mode.

For one, the pre-fight dialogues imply that Tomas lost his family due to Liu Kang (Keeper of Time)’s choice:

Smoke: "Did you intend for me to be orphaned?" Liu Kang: "Some threads must be cut to weave time’s fabric."

and

Smoke: "I'm not sure I can forgive you." Liu Kang: "Being Keeper of Time meant making many hard choices."

When Tomas was orphaned, Kuai Liang & Bi-Han’s father adopted him and made one of Lin Kuei. If the accusation is true, then we can assume Liu Kang wanted Tomas to join Lin Kuei, as he did in the past timeline(s). So, in theory, Smoke for whatever reason was important enough for the Keeper of Time to get involved and steer events to get the wanted result.

Which raises a question, why did Liu Kang not bother to recruit Tomas into Lin Kuei the same way he recruited Kung Lao, Raiden, Johnny Cage or Kenshi, by like, actually talking to him and taking for training? Or even why not just ask the befriended Grandmaster to take the boy (and Tomas' family) under his wings, which I think the man would do without further question.

Instead, Smoke was orphaned, taken in by Lin Kuei, adopted as son of Grandmaster and trained in magic to equalize his chances in the fight (in contrast, Bi-Han’s ice powers seems to be a natural part of him, related to specific bloodline).

Now, if Tomas was so important, if not in the greater scheme of things, then just for Liu Kang (and Kuai Liang), isn’t it weird, he is so sidelined and omitted by Fire Lord in the story mode?

Again, not judging characters, solely pointing out this choice of storyline, as this is especially visible during collecting the champions for the tournament arc.

In Chapter One, when the test was over and Liu Kang came to Kung Lao and Raiden to explain things, he specifically called only Bi-Han (the current Grandmaster) and Kuai Liang (Bi-Han’s blood-brother)

while Tomas was totally omitted and stayed behind with the rest unnamed Lin Kuei warriors.

Which, visually speaking, is weird, as just before that scene we could see Smoke walking alongside his adoptive brothers (with Bi-Han leading the group, Tomas and Kuai Liang walking a bit behind their leader, but before the unnamed warriors);

In the next chapter, again, only Bi-Han and Kuai Liang assisted Fire Lord in his quest to recruit Johnny Cage and Kenshi. Again, both Lin Kuei were addressed by their birth names, instead of codenames

while there is no information why Tomas was left behind. He likely was entrusted with escorting Kung Lao and Raiden to Shaolin Monks, yet the lack of proper mention emphasizes the pushing into the background.

We didn't learn officially Smoke's status as adopted brother of Kuai Liang and Bi-Han until Sub-Zero's chapter (#8). Unless I miss something, the first person on screen to actually address Smoke by his birth name was surprisingly Bi-Han.

Which makes even weirder the lack of including of Tomas from Liu Kang, as the Fire Lord and Smoke stayed allies through the story mode and intro dialogues (with some resentment on Tomas' side for death of his family) while the relationship between Bi-Han and Tomas was much more complicated to begin with.

We could make an argument that Liu Kang didn't want to antagonize Bi-Han by including adopted Tomas too much, however:

A) Bi-Han has never denied Tomas right to consider himself one of Grandmaster's sons - seen especially in Sub-Zero's speech pattern, as Sub-Zero always says just "Father", the same as Tomas and Kuai Liang, never putting emphasis on "my" as a reminder Smoke is adopted. The real conflict is not about whether Tomas is his and Kuai Liang's brother or not, but about him being a true Lin Kuei. What is also worth to keep in mind, any tension between brothers happened only in privacy (here and during the mission), never around Liu Kang.

(A similar thing can be noticed in intro dialogues. In Smoke vs Sub-Zero, Bi-Han specifically says "Because your blood is not Lin Kuei" however in Liu Kang vs Sub-Zero, when Fire Lord claims brothers (plural version!) miss him, Bi-Han doesn't correct his opponent about Tomas not being one. He instead says "Then they shouldn't have disobeyed my commands.")

B) Liu Kang did not show Bi-Han any special respect, especially not the kind of respect and friendship offered to Sindel and her husband, Jerrod. And yes, Fire Lord mentioned Bi-Han before Kuai Liang, and addressed him during the meeting before the mission (while the Sub-Zero's younger brothers - subordinates - stood together in silence)

but that basically it? Bi-Han didn't seem to be favored in any special way, I don't think he even was addressed as Grandmaster by Fire Lord at any moment in story mode.

Which is why I personally don't see why Liu Kang would omit Tomas solely to not hurt Bi-Han's ego or to not antagonize the man further - especially since Bi-Han himself didn't push the matter in any specific - openly - way nor didn't deny Tomas the right to consider himself one of Grandmaster's sons in the first place.

Frankly, as we don't see how Lin Kuei were informed about the upcoming meeting, we should ask, did Liu Kang call Bi-Han and specifically Smoke and Scorpion for the mission, or was that choice made solely by Sub-Zero? Because Lin Kuei for sure must have much more experienced warriors that Tomas (and Kuai Liang for that matter) but also sending on dangerous mission the Grandmaster AND the second* in line of succession seems impractical from the perspective of clan' inner safety.

*second and third, if Tomas was allowed at all to be the heir. Considering how neither Smoke nor Scorpion even for a moment considered that option and how Sektor & Cyrax would choose Bi-Han's corruption of the clan before accepting Kuai Liang as a new leader, the inner clan politics may not be so simple.

During the Lin Kuei mission (Sub-Zero's Band of Brothers Chapter) and during Bi-Han's betrayal (Scorpion's Civil War Chapter), the three brothers didn't address each other by codenames and as much as the situation allowed, freely interacted with each other.

However once Bi-Han is removed from the story mode, Smoke is even more pushed into the background. When asked, he will answer and make some (one?) observation however he barely interacted with other characters, mainly sticking to his brother. The most important exception is the scene when the heroes were wondering what to do after the big revelation and Tomas on his own talked about Lin Kuei and Bi-Han.

The story mode at that time was focused on other characters (like Mileena & Shang Tsung) so understandably, Lin Kuei brothers were put aside however even then Scorpion played a vital part, as it was Kuai Liang making the plan of attack, when Liu Kang wasn't around, while Tomas for most part was just there.

Again, no moral judging of characters just a mere observation how Tomas interacted the most freely with his brothers while was omitted by Liu Kang - and like, never(?) addressed by him in story mode, either by name or codename, even if the intro dialogues strongly imply Liu Kang was the one pushing Tomas into Lin Kuei in the first place.

Which makes an interesting contrast to Bi-Han & Smoke’s relationship but also shows how without intro dialogues, the relationship between Tomas and Liu Kang seems… non existing? I mean, even at the end of story mode, Liu Kang mentions Bi-Han

and his brother Kuai Liang building a new clan,

yet there is literally no mention of Tomas and his participation in the creation of Shirai Ryu and training its members (something confirmed in Scorpion and Smoke's endings).

Which only add to the weird feeling of alienating Tomas in story mode, not by Bi-Han but Liu Kang of all possible people?

#mortal kombat #tomas vrbada #smoke #bi han #sub zero #liu kang #tomas vrbada & bi han #i'm still trying to figure out how i feel about liu kang and tomas relationship and how smoke was always omitted by fire lord #and like not addressed at all?#tomas aided him during fight against titan shang tsung then helped kuai liang to make a new clan and train new members #but at the end of story mode liu kang still talked only about bi han and his (blood) brother kuai liang?#c'mon man #tomas deserves some praise here too #and this is all even more ironic #as majority of fandom seems to think bi han hates tomas' guts for being adopted kid?? when he included him in his task for liu kang #and actually address his brother in the same fashion he talks to kuai liang (granted he is frustrated by both and the never ending talk #about father and traditions so he is short tempered toward both brothers)#but like story mode wise we can say tomas and bi han has some serious relationship going on #when liu kang alone doesn't include tomas in any specific way even though intro dialogues imply he wanted tomas to be lin kuei?#what i'm supposed to think? that liu kang did not know that tomas was adopted by lin kuei grandmaster that worked specifically for him #like everyone in lin kuei did for generations??#i'm pretty confused by this story's choices sometimes

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kiraman · 16 days

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are people aware of the fact that Mizu is not canonically in any way shape or form.............. queer....bi.....

(quick note here because reading comprehension stays dead and people may not read the tag novel: I want bi Mizu! I hc her as bi! I love sapphic Mizu)

#Yall are not ready for this take but.......boy.......#can we like praise the show for all its wonderfulness without Proclaiming it a REVOLUTION for the LGBT com. before it actually earns it #It's a thought.......#No one wants bi Mizu more than me trust me but it's just not canon yet. Gender exploration has not gone There #we can meta and we can HC and we can analyse. But it's SUBTEXT #But actually full on praising it for .... something that it's just not there yet is wild to me #A sapphic AF woman #I GET IT. All I write is bi Mizu &Mizu/ladies but it's not canon yet! And if we get it great if we don't oh well!#I'm just saying that...you can't praise a show for what Might happen. That's all 🧘🏻‍♀️💙#Blue eye samurai is wonderful for so MANY other reasons #Stop giving it credit it has not earned #this is totally open to discussion and non confrontational btw❣️#if anything the only thing you can kinda give them rep for is Taigen getting a hard on for someone he thinks is a man and STILL...#blue eye samurai #bes mizu #and before anyone comes at me swinging I don't ship ta*zu. that's not at all my point.

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zerodaryls · 5 months

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Pete Burns of Dead Or Alive in the music video for Your Sweetness (Is Your Weakness) [1990]

#pete burns #dead or alive #i made this for myself just so i can look at him O_O #the amount of PRETTY. the amount of GENDERFUCKERY. stop i'm already queer 😭❤️#i'd heard You Spin Me Round and seen the video which is iconic of course.. but i didn't realize how fucking GORGEOUS he was #like holy fuck i'm so. O_O #also he's quoted as saying: '[people] always want to know... am i gay bi trans or what? i say forget all that.'#'there's got to be a completely different terminology and i'm not aware if it's been invented yet. i'm just Pete.'#unlabeled queerness makes my heart soar #he's just Pete <3 #ANYWAY.. WHY THE FUCK DON'T MORE QUEER PPL TALK ABOUT HIM????#he was doing this shit in the 80s and 90s???#HELLO???? j'adore <3 #my posts #my gifs

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peachypaddys · 11 days

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okay i'll be honest i packed my bags up two days ago in regards to buddie bc i had read the leaked scripts and saw the "brother" on there and then while watching previous episodes i noticed all the big buddie hints were all more focused on buck than eddie (but then again 90% of the show is more focused on buck than eddie. not particularly mad about it but i'd like more of eddie) and i thought that it's over, because i thought the writers never thought of eddie as queer in any form ever and he's a straight man to them...

then the episode didn't have "brother" and THEN I FIND OUT THAT RIGHT UNTIL FILMING EPISODES 2 AND 3, EDDIE was supposed to kiss tommy?? and have the sexuality discovery arc?!?

now i'm back more than ever. just the fact that in the writers' minds, there is a possibility of queer eddie is enough for me. now eddie is literally gay to me, and nothing will change it, and all i need is for him to realize it (aka for the writers to actually put the words down)... tim also talked about how he actually intended to write stuff with natalia but then the actress left and he had to come up with something for marisol... oh we were so so close.

i think it can still happen btw. the words used were "fell through" and idk what the reasons are obviously (many ppl think it's bc ryan doesn't want to do it and i don't like him either but the switch up being so last minute makes me think not) and i hope it's just that they realized they need more time to dedicate to this for eddie bc his character would struggle a lot more with any kind of queerness than buck (he's not as experimental, repression king, catholic guilt, mexican macho man culture) and that would need way more than like 7 episodes to address and delve into.

i am happy for bi buck and glad he's gonna get a good, romcom-esque arc exploring himself along with tommy (i like bucktommy too) but god, i just caught up on seasons 5 and 6 and it made me love and connect so much more with eddie and even if not for buddie - although that would be a bonus (and logical next step) - i need eddie to figure out himself and come out and finally be free and happy and follow his heart.

#eddie diaz #911 on abc #911 abc #evan buckley #buddie #bucktommy #i like bucktommy btw but i don't want the lurkers who are gauging the reactions to think that we don't want queer eddie anymore #and i'm kinda annoyed that ppl think it's not necessary anymore like?????#so many ppl actually don't care that much about eddie lmao #i'm SO happy about bi buck you don't get it but eddie needs to be freed from that closet too #and i'm tired of 'buddies' who only really care about buck saying it's ok we don't need it anymore and jumping ship #you can ofc like both buddie and bucktommy but saying queer eddie no longer matters or is important.......#eddie diaz get behind me i'll pry you out of the closet with my own two hands

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varadasethus · 5 days

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If you want to tear my world apart

Just say you've always wondered

#buddie #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 abc #9-1-1 abc #rhia makes gifs #idek if those are the right tags?#anyway taylor continues to inspire my drive to gif new fandoms #this was originally meant to be more of a bi bi bi buckley edit but this happened #i heard the hint of bisexuality in a song and thought of buck what can i say #this song is so new i'm worried i'm interpreting it in a way that makes no sense kjhfdkghfdgkhdk

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deoidesign · 21 days

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I'm sorry if what I say is wrong in any way, I don't mean to offend you, it's just something I'm not completely sure about. Does Adam use he/they or they/them pronouns? I think I saw a post of yours where you said that Adam uses he/they, but it was a while ago and now I'm not completely sure (and I don't want to use the wrong pronouns)

I know you don't mean anything by it, but I am sad that so many of the asks I get start with people saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you" or some variation thereof, followed by completely normal questions. I think I may have been responding too harshly to too many things and given the impression that I'll jump at people for being wrong...

But asking clarifying questions is always okay. I mean, it's also okay to be wrong and even offensive. What matters is if you learn from it when someone points out that it was wrong or offensive. I won't stop telling people they're saying something hurtful if they are, but I don't want that to lead people to be scared of me or something.

Correcting people is always just about correcting them, not hurting them. It's okay to need to be corrected, were all learning new things every day.

Anyways Adam uses he/they, you remembered correctly

#i dont like when people pry about personal things #especially not when it's accusatory. I'm admittedly sensitive to a lifetime of people denying my identity #people saying i dont count as bi. or nonbinary. or disabled.#and so i tend to take questions around these as people trying to 'sus me out' as a fake or something...#and I'm always going to try to explain. generally gently... how these things are hurtful to me personally #or in the case of my characters how certain things can (in my opinion) be harmful mindsets to have #but i dont carry them with me and im not mad #im just 26 and kinda tired of making myself small to make other people more comfortable.#so. if im uncomfortable ill just say jt!#and ill do my best to explain why so people can maybe learn from it #but as someone who. i talked about this recently elsewhere. as someone who has anger management issues #and unfortunately has had to deal with people i care deeply about being scared of me...#it just makes me sad to see anons being scared of me.#that's all #im not upset or anything. just trying to be a better person.#I'm learning everyday too #asks #anon

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lesbianamalvada · 9 months

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how you feel about bisexual people saying they’re gay

I don't like it when people use gay as an umbrella term because it's literally not. I know one bi girl who always went "i'm sooo gayy" and I'm like "I thought u were bi??" and she was like "it's just simpler to say gay". I really don't get how though? Bi and queer are the same amount of syllables as gay. To me it's more confusing if ur talking about how gay you are and then people see you with a boyfriend/girlfriend. I guess it's not that big of a deal but it's def a pet peeve of mine and rubs me the wrong way.

#also one time my friends had a powerpoint night and my one friend's was like “Top 5 most homophobic and Top 5 gayest disney princesses”#really stupid I know #and the top 3 were like "I see her as bi #I see her as pan #I see her as aro/ace and I'm like “none of that is gay” and she's like #“it's an umbrella term” and she's not even lgbt herself (well she identified as ace back then and then bi and now says she's straight) so i #just rubbed me the wrong way that she called it an umbrella term because it's not idk why this bothers me so much though #if any bisexuals follow me can you explain this? or say why you like/don't like it. I want to hear the bi perspective on this #also anon I meant to ask this first thing in the tags but what do you think?#thanks for the ask!#anon ask #lgbtq discourse

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apatheticlexicographer · 11 months

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i'm about to get mauled ALIVE for saying this but here goes:

i think m'leven's relationship should be based on a mutually requited crush. both the implications it would have on their personal development as characters and the message it would send to the audience would be substantially more impactful, healthy, and progressive than if they only dated out of obligation. in fact, the thematic message of their relationship SIMPLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE without a foundation of genuine romantic attraction.

still with me??? okay, good.

when shows deal with romance they tend to fall into the categories of either having pretty much every character shipped with every other character at some point, or of having the endgame ships be the most obviously pushed from the start. byler has definitely been built up from the start, but the majority of the show's audience didn't consider it as an option for canon until s4, when they started making it blatant. hell, a lot of people didn't even realize WILL was queer until s3 (again, when the show started to place heavy emphasis on it), and even then a lot of people thought he might be ace rather than gay.

mike and el, on the other hand, were practically the show's flagship couple for the first 2 seasons at least. it wasn't until s3 that their popularity started to dip and their relationship began to receive a lot more criticism. which makes sense, considering they hadn't actually been IN said relationship in the previous seasons. they had a couple of romantic interactions, sure, but we didn't see how they would interact *as a couple*. people obviously couldn't predict how their dynamic would actually pan out!!! that isn't to say that the negative aspects of their relationship were a bait-and switch, though: red flags were visible since at least s2, but they were far from being the focal point and a lot of shippers interpreted them as being cute (like el's jealousy over max).

having a show acknowledge the fact that the first person you get a crush on (because correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm pretty sure they're canonically each other's first crush???) isn't necessarily your ~soulmate~ is a great thing. even better when they go a step further, and play with the concept!!! the text of stranger things doesn't actually push m'leven as a paragon of romantic love. if you listen to what the other characters say about their (romantic) relationship, their opinions are entirely neutral/negative???

lucas teases mike about his crush in s1, but calls him hopeless in s3. hopper is out of line with how agressively he acts about their relationship, but the resolution of that character arc for him is about him acknowledging that he's been overbearing and accepting that he needs to let el grow up, and NOT some hammy realization that "what they have is true love, i was wrong to interfere!!!" max thinks their clinginess is sweet at first in s3, but she isn't very close with either of them. once she and el start to bond AND SHE LEARNS THAT EL HAS NO EXPERIENCE WITH ROMANTIC ATTRACTION OUTSIDE OF MIKE she encourages el to assert her own self-worth and dump him. [which... actually mirrors the progression of opinions in a lot of audience members??? 🤔🤔]

and those are just a few examples!!! i won't go on an exhaustive list, because honestly we'd be here all day.

furthermore, m'leven's steady downward trajectory is not the only instance of the show basically dunking on the trite expectation that a character's first love interest is automatically their happily-ever-after, AND the recurring motif that any relationships a character explores before their endgame ship are wrong because the alternate love interest is Bad.

dustin has his first crush (onscreen, anyway) on max in s2, but ends the season happy despite his sadness over rejection and later gets together with a girl who's basically his perfect match. in s3, robin confides to steve about how she was so far gone for tammy that she would cry into her pillow. in s4 she's able to laugh over just how bad her singing is without denying it, and is tentatively flirting with vickie. joyce was genuinely really happy with bob, but after having time to heal from the tragedy of what happened to him she's ready to move on with hopper.

again, not an exhaustive list. why??? because outside of m'leven, the only relationships where the characters ARE each other's first love interest are: lumax, whose entire arc together is about growing up as a couple (you know, the exact arc m'leven shippers pin on mike and el, as if it would make sense for 2 couples to have the same format and message...); stancy, which is only one prong of Love Triangle Hell and the controversy around it speaks for itself; and TED AND KAREN. WHO ARE POINTED OUT EXPLICITLY BY THE TEXT OF THE SHOW IN S1 NO LESS, TO BE AN EXAMPLE OF A WORST TIMELINE FUTURE THAT CHARACTERS DO NOT WANT TO REPEAT.

but if you're reading this, you already know all of that.

the point i'm trying to make is that stranger things shows a consistent palette of themes across all the relationships it portrays. i've obviously been going over the romantic ones, but this applies at least as much to the plationic bonds as well. those themes are of GROWING AND MATURING, of SHIFTING DYNAMICS, and of BECOMING SECURE IN YOUR PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE.

i'm sorry but to present a pair of characters with apparent mutual feelings; to elaborate on how dysfunctional their relationship is; and to ultimately reveal to the audience that actually they were both just confused, they never had feelings for one another in the first place and that's why their relationship didn't work out; sends an extremely mediocre message, to put it nicely. all the characters learn from that lived experience is "don't date people you don't have feelings for, and if you were unsure about how real those feelings were... get good???" meanwhile, all the audience learns from that VIEWED experience is "if the relationship doesn't work, it's because the people involved don't like each other enough." if byler goes on to be canon and is immediately much healthier, that only enforces that shitty message. in that situation the only reason THEIR relationship works while mike and el's didn't is that they actually have feelings for one another!!!

from a show which has explored complex arcs and messages with *LITERALLY EVERY OTHER RELATIONSHIP* they touch on, this would be beyond disappointing. particularly as the central message for the arc of 2 of the mainest main characters in the whole show!!!

on the other hand, to present a pair of young characters at the start of the show and flag them as having an obvious mutual crush; to allow them to explore that crush as a serious prospect; to have them realize that their relationship is dysfunctional; and to have them move on as friends; sends???

a great???

fucking???

message???

they both get to progress and move on as more enriched people than they would have been without their time in a relationship, and that is fucking wonderful.

el has a deeper understanding of romantic interactions based on actual lived experience and not just TV shows. she's able to develop into her fledgeling sense of identity more securely with the knowledge that relationships can change, and that's okay. not everything has to be forever.

mike understands how to process and manage his own feelings much better, and is equipped with a firsthand understanding of how a relationship can become emotionally dysfunctional without proper communication, making him ready to enter a new, healthier relationship. he has displayed the same overprotective behaviours towards will as he has to el, but he's begun to learn how to manage them so that he doesn't stifle his partner. after previously failing to communicate his feelings to both el and will in s3 when he fought with them, he's been making a deliberate point of doing so in s4. this didn't work with el when he tried to open up about his own experience with bullying, but it DID work with will when he admitted to his failings in balancing relationships.

are either of them finished in their personal arcs??? no, of course not!!! they're not even fifteen!!! but they have both grown as people, not in spite of their romantic relationship, but BECAUSE of it. you don't change as you grow up, so much as you start to understand yourself better. but self-discovery and subsequent self-acceptance CANNOT come without self-explaration.

it's okay to try things out, and it's okay if they don't end up being right for you.

meanwhile, the broader message about relationships that this imparts on the audience is an extremely important one. one which gets overlooked continually by storytellers in every industry. one which the show itself has brushed on, but not explored in depth.

one which fandom, in particular, likes to ignore.

ATTRACTION ≠ COMPATIBILITY

(...and that's okay!!!)

#hahaha i'm gonna get so much hate over this #preparing to lose a few followers tbh ToT i know a few of my moots and followers are Adamant gay mike truthers #jsyk i don't even dislike or necessarily disagree with gay mike???#taps the *sexuality is a spectrum* sign #he can ID as gay AND he can have a crush on a girl. get kinsey scale'd #i mean i'm an unlabelled mike truther bht i'm favourable to either bi or gay interpretations #also!!! as an aro person who had crushes on guys and girls as a kid #i get legitimately very pissed off by just how adamantly ppl base their opinion on whether mike is gay or bi #in whether or not he had a 'real' crush on a girl at age twelve #i just don't say it bc i'm not usually in a controversial mood #anyways labels are social constructs. not in a sarcastic way that is LITERALLY WHAT THEY ARE. TEXTBOOK DEFINITION #have a nice day <333 #(all this is ofc assuming that anybody still reads long meta posts which is doubtful tbh 💀💀)#byler #mike wheeler #el hopper #anti mileven #mike wheeler analysis #el hopper analysis #byler analysis #byler theory #byler meta #stranger things #stranger things thoughts #stranger things theory #stranger things analysis #stranger things meta

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