#I'm bringing this blog back peoples!!

[puppy-steve]

nancy wheeler deserves to be fucked by a milf

#cj talks #this was a post on the old blog before it got nuked so i'm bringing it back bc many people agreed #wheeler #nancy wheeler #stranger things #lesbian nancy wheeler

[tvuniverse]

Listen i just want to preface this by saying I don't even personally hate Tommy, but that's not really the point i want to make so here goes nothing.

The way a lot of people act as if it's impossible to dislike him because the characters have moved on so so should we, right? and that's the thing right here, as poc we're always being told to move on. We can't express our feelings, we can't hold grudges, we can't complain about issues without making it something more than it is, we always have to just... move on.

I know people are going to say it's just a show, it's not that serious, but the issues it touches on and the way fandom speaks on those issues are.

I've seen a lot of comparisons between Tommy and other mains, how each of them are flawed and have screwed up one way or another, and you're right, but it's still unfair to compare him to them. We've seen each of the main characters experience guilt, or be ashamed of their action, we've seen them apologise, put in the work to actually grow, and they have. There's not enough time in an episode for us to see that for side characters. In this case, Tommy didn't do any of the above and that's normal, he was a plot device to show some very real societal issues, and especially what people of colour/women might go through in the workplace, and once he served his purpose he didn't get much more beyond a few scenes where it seemed like everything was fine between him and chim/hen. It would be more appropriate to compare him to the buckley parents, (who appeared in more or less the same amount of episodes) like if people suddendly started saying no one is allowed to hate them because they got their redemption, their kids more or less forgave them, they more or less tried to be better parents. And yet it's still not enough for a lot of people, because how they treated their children, the shit they've said to them, hits a little too close to home for a lot of people and so no matter what the show says or does, they'll still be mostly hated by the audience, and that's more than okay. But if margaret buckley is your favourite character than by all means be my guest. And listen, i love this show, it's all about hope, and it means everyone gets a redemption arc, as short as it is (sometimes even just a sentence lol), but we won't always be satisfied with these arcs, especially if they don't feel proportional to the hurt the characters may have caused to our mains, so we'll all have different reactions to them.

I swear liking a morally ambiguous/grey character says absolutely nothing about you, but making excuses for them, antagonising people who might dislike them (for good reasons) or acting like suddenly triggers don't exist for people, does say something about you. One of my favourite characters is literally the worst person ever, an actual bigot, but i won't ever write essays about why people are not allowed to dislike him actually because he's my babygirl.. i very much understand why people would.

All of this to say, everyone will have different opinions about Tommy. Some might love him, some will be completely neutral or at worst slightly uncomfortable/bothered by him, and some will straight up hate him, and all of these are fine. Live and let live, love whoever you want to love, and hate whoever you want to hate, but please stop trying to dictate how others should feel, i'm begging. And this really does go both ways.

#i never ever get involved in fandom discourse. ever #my blog is my safe space and so i just want to reblog some silly gifs of my silly little characters and move on about my day #but nothing gets to me more than being told to 'move on' #anyway i know the casual (and not so casual) racism is rampant in this fandom but boy has this week been hell #but just another week in this fandom i guess #(also i know some people hate him just because of buck/eddie and this is a whole other discourse i won't get into) #anti tommy kinard #not really but just in case #fandom discourse #also i said dehumanisation because that's what he did to chimney #acting like people don't exist until they do something that's beneficial to you and that's when you'll finally treat them as human beings #that shit hurts like crazy but it doesn't get talked about enough tbh #and that's also kind of why i think it's hard to know if he's really Grown or if it's just a case of 'these people are the exception' #and we can't really know until we actually see him interact with other minorities #but that's just my opinion #also i know we're all tired of this discourse and i'm sorry to bring it back but every day i've opened this app and saw something about it #and closed it right up lmao #i just needed to get this off my chest once and for all #i'll go back to never getting involved in fandom discourse again #anyhoo #i'll probably delete this at some point knowing myself

[strebcr]

I do not care for rp confession blogs

#Most of them just feel like vauge posting with extra steps #They do post some points I agree but those points get lost in sooo much bullshit 😔 #Venting is fine just don't Anonymously guilt trip people #It brings me back to the shitty days of the rp burn book blogs #This isn't a vauge post or directed at anyone btw #One was in my recommendations and I'm cranky this morning so old pineapple yells at cloud #Peter Griffin vc: they insist upon themselves Lois #Just a dandy pineapple in space #Buuut this is my lukewarm take of the day

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Taking a moment from the strike to say I'm changing the pinned post back to the Francine comic in light of recent issues with an apparent increase in transphobia. This is your reminder that this blog loves and supports transfolk of all kinds and any transphobes here can get fucking lost.

#fuck you guys making it unsafe for my sisters to live their lives. #and yeah I don't normally refer to groups of people as sisters or brothers or whatever but this is personal. #I will put francine back to her rightful place at the top of my blog #she doesn't really fit what I post about at all but I don't care. she can weed out the assholes for me #I may redesign her and put her in some more recent things for fun it's a real shame I lost interest in her #this has all reminded me I need to get back in touch with my oldest sister it's been too long #pop rox talks #sorry this blog has gotten pretty serious over the strike days but I have some more positives coming for whan it's over #I just can't stay silent on these things ya know? #anyway. I'm going back on strike I'll be back when it's over #just wanted to remind people of my stance on this stuff #I won't be talking on the whole situation because I don't really know the full details and don't want to bring that discussion here #just in case you were wondering #my stance is clear. that's all there is to it. I'll see you guys after the strike! #bubye!!! c'ya!!! stay safe!!!

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

I just realised today that it’s been over 8 years since I published my first piece of reader insert fanfiction (not for DL but it laid the groundwork for what was to come) and it’s absolutely crazy to me. I don’t know that I’ve talked about it on this blog much (for it was not good by anyone’s standards) but I used to publish on Quotev and I made a couple of friends on there who really helped me when I was going through a hard time in real life (not that I think any of them necessarily realised how much :’) ). Sadly we all sort of drifted away from the site and lost contact but I still think about them sometimes and hope that wherever they are they’re doing well. 

I miss our little community on there too and the silly conversations we used to have, as while I don’t think Tumblr ever quite had the same vibe, I do think it’s grown a lot more impersonal over the years (or at least that’s certainly been my experience). 

Anyway I don’t know that there’s much of a point to this other than me reminiscing but if we’ve interacted at some point while I’ve been running this blog, or even if you just silently like a lot of my posts (because believe me, there are usernames I recognise even if we’ve never properly talked), then I’m grateful and I hope that you’re happy and doing well.

#personal #delete later #I just needed to get this off my chest I think #and... I think this might be a goodbye #I've had this blog for over 6 years and it's gotten me through some tough times #and I am so very grateful for all the good times #I've been saying I plan to move on for a while but I think I'm actually ready this time #I'd been debating whether to make a song and dance over it or quietly disappear into the night #but I look back on abandoned blogs and always wonder what happened to the people who ran them #so if you're looking back on this and wondering then at the time of writing I'm doing well #busy but well #and I though that saying goodbye in a rambling set of tags was very true to form #so if you're still reading thank you so much for joining me for this chapter of my life #and if you're someone who's stumbled onto this blog years after I made this post #(providing Tumblr is even still going by then) #then I hope these characters and stories can bring you as much joy as they once brought me

[sylvies-kablooie]

on my post about the culture shock of seeing posts from 2012 as a loki blog in the year of our lord 2024, someone added in the tags "i didn't even know there still WERE loki blogs running around"

buddy i can't believe it either but i must remind you that i only invoke his name for ease of reference; this whole operation here at sylvies-kablooie is dedicated to his girlfriend

#i love reading tags people add on my posts it brings me such joy #no i would not be running a loki blog if it weren't for sylvie #he is just the title. you know why i'm really tuned in. #sorry she captured my heart back in 2021 and i haven't moved on. loki himself is a nice bonus. i enjoy him! but he's not the star here #loki series #sylvie laufeydottir

[neon-glowing-rainbow-stims]

Posts here will likely be on hiatus for a couple weeks as I finish up the semester <3 I'll be back soon enough!

#not aesthetic #not stim #txt #txt post #I wanna build up a big ol queue for next semester because. Well. #Next semester is fixing to be... uh... course-heavy... and I probably won't have time to make new stuff for... well. a while... #But I still want a steady queue to come out even if I don't have time to make new gifs #because I wanna be able to check on the new comments and responses every couple days or so! #They brings me insurmountable amounts of joy #And... it's really nice to have the responses to read when schoolwork is overwhelming me and getting me down #Not to be a downer on here #Just... in a sea of things I'm doing wrong or doing late... it's nice to know that there's something I can do right #And do well. And that brings joy to people #Er-- well I didn't mean to spew all that into these tags. #I just wanted to say I love this blog and its niche community. And gif-making brings me so much joy #Thank you everyone who likes my silly little images <3 #I'll be back soon

[troublcmakcrs]

//i respect literally no one on tumblr except my mutuals on this blog specifically i'm so serious

#misc :: ( ooc ) #//I LOVE YOU ALL YOU MAKE THIS DASH SO COZY #//I NEVER GET SICK OF HANGING OUT HERE #//you know those people who are like. ''you can't write with my male canons if you don't write with my female ocs'' #//never understood them until now. so tempted to do that with this blog LMAO #//sorry you don't follow the south park blog so you get NO onceler and NO arcane! #//whenever i follow someone from all my blogs and they follow back every one but this one it immediately deletes my trust in them #//LIKE I HATE YOU I HAAAAATE YOU #//jk hate is maybe a strong word BUT I REALLY DON'T LIKE YOU A LOT #//i'm having a moment dw abt it #//half tempted to go on another blocking spree on the rest of my blogs DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT #//me @ my mutuals on other blogs: you can come back / get unblocked when you follow craig & tweek like you're supposed to #//jk (mostly) LMAO #//I JUST LOVE THESE LITTLE GUYS SM... ;; #//sometimes i doubt whether or not i'm actually autistic and then somebody refuses to engage with one of my special interests #//and i have such big intense violent emotions about it like okayyyy bitch calm down 😭 #//if you ghost me when i bring up my special interest or don't follow my special interest blog #//or tell me to my face (DMs) that you ~don't fuck with it~ then i don't like youuuu!! I DON'T LIKE YOU!! #//which is why everybody on this blog is safe and i am giving you the biggest gesture of affection you are personally comfortable with #//on the scale of respectful fist bump to tongue full in mouth you get to decide 🥰

[svtskneecaps]

thank you for bearing with my purgatory posting and i'm also glad to see i'm not the only one who still has this fungus eating away at my brain matter. seeing other purgatory posting in the tag makes me feel better lmfao.

i'm not done btw, posting will (probably) continue as i revisit vods. wanted to extend a thanks in the interim, since i know how contentious the event was in the moment. i kinda thought the general consensus was most people hated thinking about it, but there's been a weird amount of engagement and yknow other people talking. makes me happy to know i'm not alone here!

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #shut up vic #block game brainrot #it also provides me the opportunity to get a new perspective on some moments as well #like watching the jaiden spawnkilling thing the first time i missed some nuance in bbh's tone when he offered to walk her to her body #rewatching i heard them :D #i'll probably rewatch his conversation with slime from the same day at some point to refresh my perspective on that #but i think i'll wait on that; that convo makes me super biased lmfao #i'm aware of my biases at least :D and dw i won't bring old discourse back #tbh i never rly posted discourse much to begin with? just that one list and analysis of time stamps LMFAO #but yea i won't be bringing that back to the tag even if it's back in my brain #i PINKY SWEAR; i'm not one to start fights on posts or blogs that aren't mine #i block and then if i REALLY have something to say i shittalk them into my bathroom mirror #bc i know neither of us are gonna snitch >:D #long tags #it's also nice to look at with the benefit of hindsight and reflection #bc i know everything that happened; i was there watching it live #bolas are unreliable narrators #i'll probably see about going through some of the other team's povs as well just to see #it's interesting is all! and i finally have the time to sink my teeth into it properly #since we aren't having to keep up with like six streams a day #it's been so long sinve this server took a proper breather i'm appreciating it for all it's worth #((yes i wish the circumstances were better but they aren't; we take what we can get lmao)) #ok anyway love u byeeeeeeee purgatory posting will probably continue #i'll tag as appropriately as i can; lmk if there are further tags i should add #i prefer people don't block Me if they hate these; i'll make u a tag to block if u ask i promise <3

[demonstars]

like whats actually edating

#mind obviously went back to dnf like my mind always finds it here i'm in the dnf blog if i wanted to make another post i'd probably not be #doing it here Um anyway LIKE what is an internet relationship. the existance of a diferent medium means that what we understand by dating #is completely lost theres just not whatever courting or predating medium that kind of exist for people when they date? it obviously cant #develop naturally because the situation isnt natural but nature is dictated by what we're living #and dream more than george is peak new generation of chrnonically online tens #who have a difficult time adapting to social etiquete and well he also is unluckiest man alive but we're not talking about that. When we ar #forced to reinterpret what it means to be dating someone like the weird shift to not-friends we Theorize dnf Maybe coudl've had #makes total sense because its just not a common situation in the slightless. having a mayor key point of your life (figuring out youre #actually queer) be the talk of the month by a thousan people that Know making a joke at your expense will bring them attention is fucking #traumatizing #and that shit is just normalized by the context in which it is enacted????? AND WE JUST LET IT?????????AND NOBODY PAUSES AND THINKS WOW THI #IS KINDA FUCKED UP???????' #Dating is both a normative concept and a experience: we know what dating entailsbut we never actually #know how someoene else experiences it because theyre simply not us and thus we just dont know lol . anyway i lost the thread #dnf weirdest edaters ever i'll defend you forever

[zevrans]

😳

#it's the second time i am seeing my old gifsets from my old blog on my dash in the last 24 hours and #i'm torn between looking at the reblog vs like ratio which feels unreal now 👁👄👁 but also seeing those old grainy not my current taste color #ed stretched gifs and it make me go like 💀🔫 #i wanted to do a deleting of some of sets on this blog too just don't have the energy now my old sets are haunting me vdkfkgk #maybe i should remake some of my older sets that might bring the giffing spark back idk #i'm not against people rbing my old sets ofc don't get me wrong it just also makes me nostalgic #because i actually keep all my gifs and all of those i'm seeing on my dash are somewhere in my veeery old folders on pc 🥺 #and a lot of them are associated with specific moments and feelings and i'm just weird about gifs sorrybckfkg 😭😭😭 #tbd

[rox-of-iu]

@ the people saying kind words and offering me english alternatives for the czech in my last post

first of all, I know you mean well and I love you to bits and I'm giving you a little kissy, ok? But... guys I do know English phrases... hahhah

Listen,,,, I am chronically online and I do actually have a certificate from C2 exams that is just 5 points shy of being 100%. I Know it absolutely doesn't look that way but that's just because I'm the laziest guy around and I don't feel like fixing it after myself when I have the excuse of being a foreigner- sahdjsd

so when i use czech words it is not out of the necessity of not knowing any substitutes but just me goofing around and going haha funny word go brr

#man this is probably coming of as mean and super defensive but its not supposed to be 😭😭 (tones still hard in any language) #it is genuinly super nice of you to try to help out!! and you couldn't have known so 💞 #but just throwing that out there....jasdhksdj #o(-( man #ykno like i said throwing in cz words is just me having fun with it #since its my scribble side blog and all that #because due to spending almost all my free time connected to english-centric internet my own language/culture took a bit of a backseat #like even in my day to day life which is very prevalent among lot of foreign people today #but i wont get into it now it doesn't rly matter #so me throwing in some funky words is me just having fun around and trying to bring some of it back while i doodle #but looking back at it it is prolly weird to do since ykno its Chinese so what is cz doing there and no one will understand it anyway #so ppl are probably left feeling confused or cheated out of something #so i should probably just stick with eng alternatives #oh well #idk why im even making this post this has completely derailed ashdk and again I'm not mad at beloveds who commented and left tags #it just made me think #and overthinking hahh bcuz im in the middle of stressful projects #plus tHE STUPIDASS UNI DOENST WANNA ACCEPT MY MONEY OK PLEASE TAKE IT I BEG OF U I WILL PAY EARLIER NEXT TIME (lying) #anyway thats all jhds uhh bye #wait im already having regrets about making this post in the first place man but i did spend valuable time typing it out so ughhh

[perfectlyvalid49]

I just want to say that your words about feeling like you yourself are becoming radicalized resonated with me. I was already growing fed up with the current state of leftism and this just seems the last straw. The black and white thinking, the purity culture, the blood thirst – I’m just done.

I’m not even Jewish in any meaningful way (my mom hid/disavowed that part of her ancestry growing up in the soviets). I’m just a very mixed queer person whose ethnicity is best described as ‘uhhh.’ But my social circle has always been largely Jewish, and recently many of said social circle have had to up and leave their home country. In many cases, Israel was their only option. So seeing thousands of people who are supposedly on my side thoughtlessly chant ‘from the river to the sea’ just broke me. Seeing people try to prove that it’s not antisemitic has been mind-boggling. “It doesn’t explicitly call for violence against Jewish people.” Well, nor does ‘Jews will not replace us,’ and yet…

I deleted my social media at a really low point, and now that I’m back I find myself mostly following Jewish blogs. And I feel my worldview shifting because where before I had hopes that things that frustrate me on the left could maybe be fixed, now I no longer think it’s fixable.

Sorry for rambling from this Schrödinger’s gentile

Hi Anon,

I’m glad I could write something that spoke to you.

Before this blog became so focused on the conflict in Israel, I talked a lot about US politics, a topic I’ve been interested in since I was in middle school (I’m weird and nerdy – get over it). And to be clear, I’m “old” for the internet, so middle school means the 1996 presidential election, which I remember discussing with my friends at lunch (they were also weird and nerdy, there’s a reason we were friends).

So when I say that I’ve been watching other people get radicalized for a long time, I mean it. I’ve watched friends fall into information silos and have felt helpless to stop it. I mean, the best man at my (very Jewish!) wedding is now a trad-Cath who thinks I’m going to hell because I refuse to accept Jesus into my life.

There has always been an antisemitism problem on the left. You can scroll through just about any blog on jumblr and look at posts prior to October and you can see that we were all bitching about it before the 7th. I’m not sure if it has actually gotten worse or if it’s just more obvious now, but we can say they seem radicalized now. Honestly, there’s nothing I can do about it, because they certainly aren’t going to listen to me – I’m a filthy (((Zionist))) after all.

But there’s at least a handful of Jewish people who are listening to me. I’ve picked up a score of followers in the last few months, so clearly you all think what I have to say is worth reading, so read this: I worry that at least parts of the Jewish community are headed down a bad path and I don’t know what to do about it. I know why we are blocking and unfollowing so many – the things they say are hurtful at best and terrifying at worst. But it leaves us in a situation where it’s the same few voices being repeated over and over. It doesn’t mean that we are radicalized, but I worry that we’re headed toward an echo chamber at least, and that’s not good. I’ve left a lot of leftist spaces behind. I’d prefer to not have to do that with Jewish ones as well.

I don’t have a solution other than that we need to be really careful and think about how we’re thinking about things if that makes any sense. The example I gave last time was moving from “you can be anti-Zionist without being antisemitic” to “anti-Zionism is antisemitism.” How did we make that move? Was it motivated by logic or emotion? It’s ok to change your stance, but with the way things are I think we really need to think about why we’re doing that, or it could lead to a bad place.

Back to the anon who is losing hope – that’s tough, and I can see why you feel that way. There are two thoughts that I repeat to myself to keep me hopeful. The first is that on a long enough timescale, things tend to improve. There’s lots of small steps forward and stumbling backwards, but overall we tend to move in the right direction. The other is that trying and failing and not trying at all have the same result. Maybe we won’t have a big effect. But if I can tell 30 people and even three of them can tell 30 people and so on, then maybe my words can reach at least one person and help them pull their heads out of their ass. And that’s better than nothing.

#thanks for letting me ramble #also I counted #and 23/35 of my followers (yes I'm a tiny ass blog) have shown up since the beginning of October #and I assume it's because of the stuff I've been posting about the conflict #I don't know why y'all are listening to me - I'm an idiot #but I'll keep posting and you guys can keep reading #also like 6 of you have shown up in the last 24 hours and I have no idea what I posted to bring you all in #I logged in this morning and tumblr was like '5 new people are following you' #and I was like 'oh shit the pornbots are back' #but you all look like real blogs

[mercyisms]

If you don't find harrow as interesting to discuss as the other characters I totally understand, but I have been dying to find meta from people much smarter than me about the paragraph from Crux in NtN: "Lady,..you've gone away again, my lady; where have you run?...Who are you this time, if not my Lady Harrowhark?" (pg 459, hardcover) Have you seen any? I'm surprised I haven't seen it mentioned more, but the NtN has a ton to talk about so

oh! well, i certainly do find harrow, gideon, ianthe, and so on very interesting. i just happen to have a specific illness that makes me very sure i remember almost everything mercymorn and augustine & co have said, and much easier to discuss. that is a fascinating little moment! it strikes me as something that is hard to write meta about, per se, because it refers to something concrete that the author clearly knows but hasn't quite surfaced in the realm of the novel. it's harder to analyze, though potent for speculation! depending on how much you trust crux and his read of harrow's childhood, it certainly suggests a pattern of dissociation or hiding. (again, not enough there for me to call it evidence, but it feels in line with, say, discussions of harrow as a person with schizophrenia? i've seen some thoughtful pieces on that before, though i'm not able to link to any off the top of my head.) it's a brief window into harrow's childhood that harrow herself may not be able to recognize and gideon, in gtn, certainly would not have been privy to. crux's rhetoric, though superficially soothing, is also, perhaps, a way of seeing the different ways harrow came to understand her profound duty to the ninth. i think what i feel certain about re: that moment is it very clearly sets up context for crux's interactions with gideon/kiriona, which strike me as the primary dramatic purpose for crux's return. the comparison between moment of (as best as he can manage anyway/undeniably twisted) tenderness and reaffirmation and the way crux treats paul (crotchety/resentful to outsiders) and gideon (undeterred, spiteful hatred) remind us a) the initial dynamics gideon/harrow were steeped in (and possibly how far they have or haven't come?) and b) how lmao deeply vile and personal crux's hatred for gideon is. it's that "why doesn't it feel good" that is, within nona, still the showstopper for me. (crux being a mutation of a father figure is important there, for sure.) if there was something more you had on your mind, i'd love to hear it! but considering those paragraphs without any further context... to me, they're wonderful bits of colour, but not necessarily enough on their own to suggest much. possibly there will be more to them in alecto -- also possibly it refers to something that will never make the narrative!? however, if people have cool thoughts please link them in he replies.

#thank you for the ask anon i'm v touched but very sorry i'm not more useful #asks #i'll be very honest i check a very limited number of blogs for cool thoughts so i'm not always up to date #though i love see what the people think #really very possible this could link up to something in htn that i erased from my memory while looping augustine spitting teeth into #his little sink again and again and again #i think what is definite is mostly kiriona pushing deeper and deeper into the ninth and reconnecting with how deeply hostile it is #& that being fuel for her to believe more fully in the narrative john has spun for her #it's also a moment for the narrative to try and give us not an objective but an outsider's perspective #we see aiglemene's fondness for gideon and loyalty to gideon (and notably Not towards harrow) much more clearly through nona's eyes #sorry if this is just fully renarrating the text for you #something something also mb about how per tamsyn there are two 'found family' (critical) narratives in nona (john + disciples / #nona / pyrrha / campal) but something possibly dramatically there to bringing them back to the initial 'found family' (awful) of the ninth #there is a parallel #uhh okay that is all i've got here #it's a fascinating line! but as i said i'm not sure it's anything we can crack here but perhaps someone else has more robust thoughts!! #ntn spoilers

[yayroos]

i might be poking a bear best left to the archives of my other blog. but. it still hurts me so much that the thing i caught the most hate for across my various adventures of this fucking website was the time i, an aromantic asexual just coming to terms with what that meant for my life and future, dared to be hurt by John Watson in BBC Sherlock (which everyone still loved at the time) stating that a romantic relationship would improve Sherlock as a human being.

I got people sending me all the vile things the discourse could generate. I wasn't even primarily upset that they'd implied that Sherlock might not be aro/ace, that stung but i didn't really expect it to stick. I was upset that a character I liked and looked up to at the time was saying outright and with no wiggle room that being uninterested in romance was a fundamental flaw of someone's personhood.

I never watched another second of Sherlock after that. Never finished that show that up to then had meant so much to me. Because John said the things he said. And i went a ran to my room and made a sad and angry post on my blog all about asexuality and aromanticism and then for daring to be hurt by this i was subjected to all the violent rage tumblr could produce.

I wonder why i stayed on this god damn hellhole of a website. I really do.

#tw discourse #i was considering tagging this with other things too but I'm not going to #it'll show up in searches if people really want to come fight with me about it #something floated across my feed elsewhere that reminded me of the whole situation #and ive decided thay I'm not gonna keep ignoring the scars this kind of stuff left on me and my life #that blog which i was so proud to have kept running through all the worst of the discourse is dormant now #because i unfollowed most of the old ace and aro blogs i was following #because i realised i was spending so much time and energy being hyper vigilant for things that could bring that hellfire back down on us #to the point where looking at my own blog started to set me off #so now i see almost nothing of the aspec community on here anymore because it hurts so much to open myself up to that again #it scares me to this day and it probably always will

[feynavaley]

Wow, it has been quite a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry if my unannounced radio silence has worried anybody, I hope it wasn't the case. 😅

I think I have already mentioned that my new job and living arrangement leave me quite busy, but it isn't only that. Truth be told, I'm in a better mental place than I've been in a long, long while.

First of all, I love my new job. I like what I'm doing, there are constant updates and challenges so I don't feel like I'm stagnating, a machine always repeating the same actions over and over without ever being able to give my own input. Moreover, my superiors often praise me for my work and they're trusting me with more important matters, which, I'm not going to lie, is pretty nice as well and does contribute to my general well-being.

Of course, my new job has some downsides as well (first of all, the salary, lmao) but perfection doesn't exist. Not to mention, I fit in pretty well with my coworkers, which is another important factor in my opinion as we cooperate a lot, which ultimately makes everybody's work easier and creates a pleasant environment. The coworker I share my office with, who also happens to be my direct superior, can only be described as an angel.

In a more unexpected twist, I've also met a group of people whom I would actually call "friends" and I've started having a social life as well, which, well... I'll always be tendentially introverted and I don't mind my alone time, but spending time with some people I can truly connect with also does wonders for mental health.

But why am I writing this down? What I'm trying to get to is that, with my real life being more satisfying, I've felt the need to turn to online platforms a lot less than I used to, which is probably the main reason I haven't been very active here.

Even so, I do miss it a bit. In particular, I really miss writing – and everything else (posting short headcanons to flesh out the characters, analysis, reblogging stuff I found interesting or even just funny, art) was, in a way, connected to that. (Not to mention, I feel like my English is deteriorating, while keeping a bit active on tumblr allowed me to exercise as well.) I want to get back to this.

Let's be real, over the last three years, I've done many attempts to go back to writing and they all failed. Still, I feel like trying again. Who knows what will happen this time?

Cheers!

~Feyna

#about feyna #feyna speaks #lmao it has been so long I've just had to look up which tag I used to use for this because for a split second I couldn't recall 😅 #okay I guess there's also another reason I have been posting less and less #as some of you may already know I started a blog in the first place because I was interested in the fandom side of hetalia #however #I've been feeling a lot less connected to this lately #when I first came in there were some people who stuck closer to canon #of course I didn't always agree with everyone but it was a matter of interpretation and people can have different ideas of that #recently however most people don't post about hetalia at all #it's only about their OCs borrowing the names of hetalia characters #and of course that's their own prerogative #(even though -- the way some people brag and feel superior about this is quite annoying ngl) #but not what I'm interested in #so I've started losing interest in the entire thing as a whole #but oh well we'll just have to see about that I guess #I may start with editing my older fics #I hope this will bring back the interest