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#I'm just gonna 🙈

         I’m here, just so y’all know. I’ve just been slowly trying to write & queue things up. New things, old things, dash games, starters. Trying to get a variety of people answered.

        My day off is Tuesday and I haven’t decided yet if I’ll post to the dash or continue to queue things and attempt to lessen what I owe (over 100 things in total). I thank y’all for your patience in advance and for those of you that still send things in even though I’m slow.

       I’m trying to send things out since I’m slow, but I’ve cooled off on blogs that aren’t showing much/any reciprocity.

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Do you know what really strikes me as odd.. how I remember ah yes this was the CVS I bought self harm supplies when I relapsed during the Summer of 2018…

Earlier tonight I got Chipotle and went next door to CVS and as I’m walking in I’m reminded of that Summer. I was saving up to get my tattoo and then I ended up taking a leave from work, canceling my tattoo appointment and going into treatment. I don’t know why but I remember specifically it was that CVS that I went to and said fuck it and wasted money on self harm supplies and a bunch of other shit, probably binge food back then. 

When I walked into that CVS tonight this intrusive thought popped into my mind go to the stationary isle and buy a ____ just like last time. You’re stressed out today so it makes sense that today would be the day you relapse. 

Like ew, no, get the fuck out. I’m trying to prove to my psychiatrist that I’m “in a better place” so that I can start a new weight loss medication. Not trying to screw up this chance at losing weight. 

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okay so i know this is a long shot and i really wish i wasn’t the type of person to freak out about this but is there anyone on here diagnosed with autism as an older teen/adult that would be willing to talk to me about their experiences? i’ve thought it’s possible i was autistic for a few years now but after talking with my therapist this week, she’s recommending that i get evaluated - i would just really like to be able to talk with someone who has experience with the process, and maybe someone who would be willing to talk with me about how their autism presented before they were diagnosed 

i would just really like to know as much as possible before consulting with the person who’s planning on evaluating me because i’m feeling real lost and anxious right now and i don’t personally know any other autistic people

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