#I'm just in my feelings today ok

[guardian-angle22]

911 lone star -> carlos + gripping TK's neck

#911 lone star #tarlos #911lsedit #tarlosedit #tk strand #carlos reyes #i am unwell today #I'm in my soft dom carlos feels rn ngl #the possessiveness in this gesture that he does. constantly #he has claimed tk and that spot as his #but also the way some of these are passionate and others are just soft and reassuring and full of love #ok imma stop now

[hajihiko]

Sonia and Komaeda getting along well enough to room together is so good honestly. Even if its mostly bc she takes no shit, Komaeda was still like the only person to stand up for her when Teruteru was trying to get frisky about her naiveté in the prologue/ch1.

I kind of suspect she was acting more unknowing than she really was then, to suit her role as a princess, but he had no way of knowing that then. Plus, if she was aware then, it might be easier for her to recognize the side of him that isn't all hope n murder? Since outside of the killing game he's pretty polite (if self effacing) and generally not down for creepy behavior.

If you've got any more thoughts on these two's interactions postgame, I'd love to hear.

I dont think it's perfect by any means (nothing on the ship is!) but its proooobably the best quick-solution scenario?

#God I dont even wanna tag this as art ugh #An art #FOR ORGANIZATION #Its true Nagito wouldnt try shit with Sonia or be creepy (also he gay) its just the things that he says #And Sonia is firm on her boundaries there but also patient about the rest. She's the expert diplomat after all #They're both Perfectly Civil after only a little bit and even get friendlier #(and Nagito is probably somewhat glad at least one person outwarly calls him a friend) (more of that to come ofc everyone ends up friendly) #Sonia: you're my friend! #Nagito: I'm sorry you feel pressured to say that. As expected of a princ- #Sonia: PARDON BUT DID I STUTTER. #Nagito: are you sure about rooming with me? It's rotten work. #Sonia: yeah it really fucking is actually. I'll do it though. #Ok I'm done sorry the doodles are unusually shitty it's not cooperating today #'It' what? Yeah

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important

#I have to go get ready for work now but I will come back to this #and don't even get me started on the parts about God calling specific craftsmen *by name* #he called them!! by name!!! he said 'this man is good at his job. he creates beautiful work. he will build my temple and make it beautiful' #and even more--God inspired him!!!! it was a calling of GOD for him to create beautiful carvings and tapestries and candlesticks!!! #look even if you're not jewish or christian or religious at all you have GOT to see what it means that all these incredibly detailed plans #for building this tent-temple are extremely important #because even if you don't believe in God and don't think that this is all significant bc he personally gave the instructions #and then helped preserve this record of them so we could still read them today #you do have to see how important they were to the people of that time who first wrote them down #and the extreme care that was taken to record all of those detail #AND the fact that it's been preserved for so long and we can still read all the care that was put into creating this incredible piece #of artwork and worship they made #gurt says stuff #I just. gahhfhhfj. I'm feeling emotional about chapters of the Bible that I can't even fully force myself to pay attention to #bc there's so MUCH and I'm bad at visualizing this stuff and I tend to zone out while listening to it #but the fact that it IS that much!!! that there SO MUCH DETAIL and it goes on for SO LONG that I even struggle to pay attention!!! #that this was THAT IMPORTANT to the people who wrote it and to God!!! as an artist and someone who has always cared about art #this means so much to me ok #christianity #bible verse #bible thoughts #exodus #art #theology

[nonranghaes]

heads up! mentions of a past abusive relationship (for reader). this should really go on wooahaes but i'm too lazy to format it rn and i need sleep so take this ig??? i might repost over there some other time....

there's things that are unfair about having a boyfriend like vernon. you think one of them is how pretty he can look when he's sleeping.

of course, he's still human. he ends up with messy hair, and sometimes he drools, and there's about a thousand other things you can list off about him when he sleeps... but he's still your boyfriend. and thus, every little 'flaw' he has is something you consider pretty on him. he would (and will, when he's in a sappy enough mood) say the exact same about you, to be fair. he shifts a little in his sleep, stretching and reaching for you.

you still remember overhearing him talk to his mom the morning after you slept in the same bed as him for the first time. it'd literally only been sleeping, but you heard him quietly say 'they trust me a lot,' to her while on the phone. he'd been unpacking breakfast. when she asked about it, he merely said "they fell asleep next to me. they've never done that before. i think... i think they trust me," in that pensive way, like he's thinking more than he's actually saying.

(i do, you told him later. trust you. i think i love you, too. and it'd been what made him say that he loves you for the first time--something he didn't expect to hear back without that 'i think' to protect yourself. you said it to him a few weeks later, and he teared up--although he'll always deny it when you bring it up now.)

"you're staring again." he pulls you out of your thoughts with ease, and his eyes meet yours in the low light. "what's wrong?"

you saw today's date. some birthdays never leave you, and that's true of the person who hurt you. the person you only told vernon about a few months ago in full, although he knew of the person's existence before then. you remember what that person said to you, too. that you didn't need anyone else aside from them...

"nothing," you say, and it's a half-lie. it'll bother you a little more, but you don't want to have this talk now. not when you're already starting to drift off, safe in his presence. vernon's good at protecting you from ugly feelings that settle into your bones like an unwanted guest. "we'll talk later, honey."

he gives you a uncertain look. "you only call me honey when you're upset."

(it's a mutual thing: he calls you either by your name or a casual dude any other time, and baby and babe and love of my life whenever he's trying to avoid a topic temporarily. the two of you communicate: vernon's good at making you feel safe in that, too.)

"right," you say. "we'll talk in the morning... homie."

it earns a crackling snort from him, and he smiles that cute gummy smile as he hides his face for a moment. "ah, really... god, you're such a dork sometimes, i swear."

"a dork who landed you," you always remind him. yet when his eyes meet yours a moment later, you feel something warm in your chest that washes away that ugly feeling all too easily. you reach out, holding his face. "i think... i won."

"you won?"

"you love me," you say. "my friends love me... i'm loved," you say quietly, and the feeling still feels a little foreign. you are loved, you repeat mentally for a moment: because they see you as you, not the broken mess you feel you are. "so i won."

vernon gets it soon enough, and he nods. "you won," he says quietly. "i'm glad you're here... homie."

you crack up, too, and he quietly laughs at his own little moment with you. his laugh and his smile always make you giggle, too, and he pulls you in to kiss you happily.

"i love you," he mumbles against your lips, "i love you, i love you, i love you--" and he keeps planting kisses against against and around your lips to punctuate every repeat of the phrase, before he draws back, satisfied after being struck with the need to be overly sappy. "alright?"

gone is that bitter feeling that once flashed through your veins and settled into your bones. all you feel now is love, soft and sweet, as you're so openly reminded that you're not alone. that the two of you shoulder these problems together. you won, you think, because you are alive and being loved and learning to love wholeheartedly again.

"yeah," you settle in to sleep, planning to keep to your promise of talking come morning. "i love you, too, you big sap."

#nonranghaes.thoughts #seventeen x reader #nonranghaes.svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen x you #svt imagine #svt x you #chwe vernon fluff #chwe vernon x reader #vernon x reader #vernon fluff #vernon angst #today is my abusers birthday and i hope he is choking rn :) #and i remembered today. that i am loved. that i am so loved. #i hope anyone tht can relate to this also feels loved bc hi i love u i dont care if im just a stranger #we're gonna keep moving forward together its ok. i'm holding ur hand. we're gonna keep going.

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

#my media literacy suddenly skyrockets when it comes to izaya #anything else im like zzzzzzzzzz as soon as its time to talik abt izaya im like I'M UP !!!! 💯💯💯💯 #but ya this isnt meant to be like anything crazy or nothing i just felt like talking abt izaya and some stuff in particular i found amusing #sorry if i sound stupid in some spots im trying not to just add 20 skull emojis or crying emojis and make fun of him #it's either that or im trying not to sexualize him #it's a battle. it's prety hard. #theres a REALLY easy joke i could make there but im not going to . im gonna be mature . #ok sorry thats all i dont have enough energy to think anymroe #i started new meds today and my heartds feeling a little funny so imight die after posting this</3

[bisexualrapline]

100 days of kim seokjin (78/100)

#i could literally watch him be lovely and tipsy and giggly eveyrday for the rest of my life n die happy #hyunglinenetwork #btsgoldnet #networkbangtan #kgfxnet #trackofthesoul #jinie #bts #jin #shariposts #100jin #btsedit #btsgif #ksjedit #kim seokjin #i used identical coloring for these gifs the lighting was just weird in the first one i'm sorry #also i planned to gif more of this but i'm kinda feeling a nap and it's my bday so off i go #happy bday to me indeed he made me the happiest today #i miss him already #ok bye

[sleepinglionhearts]

Once again I am thinking about becoming an art teacher vs. thinking about how fast I'd get fired if I became an art teacher

#idk I work well with kids but I dunno if I'd survive a classroom overfull of 'em #and like ok sure I could try teaching in Austin or something but the thing is #I would WANT to teach in town or in some other middle of nowhere small town because I feel like #those are the students who like. NEED to have someone teaching them wild ideas about art and communication #and what art can do and what art does and what art has to say #i would get so fired so fucking fast lol some kid would be like 'guess what we did in class today' #and then parents would come down on me for teaching art history to their 12 year olds #and not in the conservative white friendly way hsgshsgshs #oh who am i kidding I'd get fired as soon as parents (or some other teachers!!) find out I'm queer #happened to my 10th grade english teacher #anyway. just having some thoughts tonight

[tuituipupu]

i cried sooooo much today like u know when u cry so much it's actually kind of impressive

#i'm ok dw #just a lot of shit hit me at once and it's an anniversary today as well on top of that #march 9 is just a shit day #i just feel very grateful for my friends on here idk what i'd do without the people i speak to here <33

[finncakes]

if i project on her hard enough i'll get a cane :]

#critical role #cr3 #laudna #laudna cr #cr laudna #i NEED to go to a doctor #cause if my pain can be helped with physical therapy that would be nice... #idk. i'm figuring out this chronic pain stuff -_- #never realized i had it cause i was raised to just not ever talk abt my pain ever so #and i still have that guilt of feeling like i'm faking it eugh #anyway in good news i used my knee brace today and it helped ! nothing fancy but my leg wasn't throbbing in pain by the end of the day ! #like it still hurt but WOW. who fuckin knew. #i really want to try and get a cane. it'd make my walk to work so much easier #and it'd mean i can go on walks with my friend TwT #but i don't think my mom would ever get me a cane if i ask or would get mad if i got one wah... #ok i shut up now :)

[torchickentacos]

Anyways here's to all the people who are technically adults but feel as if they are behind for whatever reason. Be it because the pandemic interrupted the usual milestones of late teens/early 20's (or any age), or because of chronic illness that, by nature, doesn't conform to society's standard ideas of what independence looks like, or because the housing market means they will be living with parents for the foreseeable future, or any wide variety of reasons.

#ok to rb #backstory. got annoyed concert planning bc i rely too heavily on other people to drive me places #but i also can't just do it myself bc nobody gives me the chance to get that independence #so i'm just in a bit of a rut today and annoyed about my perceived lack of independence and lack of ability to work towards gaining it. #but i'm doing better now and reminding myself that-one- this is by no means an unusual way to feel #and-two- i'm 21 which is still very young by most standards and i do have time to figure it all out #there is no set path or time requirement of milestones #and things will fall into place eventually #even if eventually isn't quite as soon as i'd like it to be

[mistress-light]

I wanna give a big hug to everyone not feeling their best. You'll get there, things will get better. Even if it's smol.

#i'm trying i had a horrible day today my eyes are freakng puffy #byt Shit #i am not giving in to freaking despair or feeling sorry for myself #i know things will get better #this freaking world sometimes #mistress blabbling #btw i'm ok don't worry #just a mental breakdown #I like how things can go so good for ya and then 180 other way

[meownotgood]

I need to lay in bed and be held by aki while he rubs my back and maybe I cry a little

#or a lot #I'm not feeling good today #probably because I'm going to start my period in a few days #so that's why I'm upset #I have a headacheee #and then earlier my coworker texted me and asked if I wanted his shift #and I said no because I'm tired and not feeling good #and I was gonna make christmas cookies with my mom tomorrow #and he's like oh ok #and then he just texts me at 11pm and is like #'yeah nobody else will take my shift so u do it pls' #UUUUUGGGHHhhhh I DON'T WANT TOOOOOOOO #aki... hold me #I need to have a good cry #I'll feel better afterward

[ultra-violetra]

so I wanted to say that since I'm really enjoying this event, I will likely continue to post about it, including analysis. I want to talk about the game mechanics and strategies but it's been so hard to do without people thinking you're talking about the discourse. I think as a community we all need to be a little less jumpy about this event, because I've seen posts of people being afraid to talk about the team their watching because they don't want to be dragged into discourse. I think a lot of genuinely lighthearted posts about a fun event are being misconstrued as something malicious

all of my posts are made with the spirit of friendly competition. a lot of other people are posting like this too! people should be able to do this without getting accused of hating ccs or being unfair

i've been posting a lot about red team, specifically because that's who i've been watching the most. i watch pretty much every english speaking qsmp member, it just so happens that right now i have a sub to foolish so i've been watching him so i don't have to deal with ads. because of this, i will probably continue to talk about red team the most. i'll talk about blue and green teams when i watch them! if i had the time to watch vods from every team and do a complete strategy analysis, i would. but I don't have that time. i genuinely don't care which team wins, but that doesn't mean I won't be rooting for certain teams on certain days. like on day 2, red team going from barely visible on the score bar to winning the day was an amazing underdog story! of course i'm going to root for them! and for day 3 I was rooting for green team because i want to see fitmc tryhard!

at the end of the day this is a fun event. it's fun for the ccs so it should be fun for the fandom. and if you're scrolling thru tags and getting upset/annoyed/angry at people posting about a friendly competition, you might need to reevaluate yourself

#really just posting this as a precaution bc I feel like people get mad at me for posting about strategies and it makes me sad #because i'm trying to have fun #and i would love to watch and support everyone but i cant there isnt enough time and i dont speak french #anyway let people support red team without getting jumped #they're just talking about their streamer like chill #like genuinely the way people are talking on here makes me feel bad for supporting red team #until i remember that i did nothing wrong they're just being mean #i get youre defensive but like YOU are the one creating discourse my guy #we're just over here talking #thought about switching it up for today and watching blue team but then i rememberd #i dont have to appease you i can do what i want #if i want to watch red team and talk about red team then i can do so #if you have a problem with that it's your own fault #sorry these tags are really sassy but like fr people need to chill #talking about the discourse all the time only makes it worse #and i want to keep talking strategy without having to defend myself constantly #because i hate when people intentionally misinterpet my words #ok rant over #qsmp

[synthaphone]

im shifting into painting mode

#i've been painting its just been slow going. today i'm going to finish painting #and then i can let myself draw again #ok i was kind of giving myself some flack for not feeling like i can draw again until once i'm done sculpting and painting #but like. i have one desk and its a pain in the ass to set up and clear off the paints and sculpting supplies #so honestly. there isn't NO understandable reason for why i partition my time like this #i need a text post tag

[chrisbangs]

some of my favourite chan pobs from this era 😞💗🫶🩶🐺🤍🫂🌙🖤

#☹️☹️☹️☹️ look at my angel... #he's so lovely.. #my heart feels so heavy... #my eyes hurt from crying today i'm so tired... 😞 #i love him so much... 😞�� i hope he knows just how loved he is... hope he knows just how appreciated he is 😞🫶🩶 my channie #my soulmate... 😞🩶🫂 #li.pc #li.pic #ok i'm done being annoying abt the pcs now (i'm not) #logging off again !

[heyitsmemel]

...... mehhhh personal complaining in the tags (tw illness)

#bro I'm on day 17 of a crazy severe mystery illness and I'm so fucking gagged #like my lungs have hurt for over two weeks I can barely walk more than five minutes before getting exerted #and can't have a conversation without wheezing #tumblr have you ever been so sick or incapacitated that it causes you to rethink everything #like i have been so severely sick that it's inspired me to drastically change my entire life #i feel like my body and a large part of me has died and i've metamorphosed jesus i'm a phoenix bitch rising from the ashes #yea is this normal? have other people experienced this? #like an illness so severe that it just makes you go ok ok #this isn't working #the old ways aren't working #the universe really knocks you so far on your ass sometimes to bring you where you need to go next #but god fucking damn #i just want to breathe and be able to walk down the god damn street #ok rant over #hang in there sick tumblr #maybe delete later im just sad girl today #i just want to go on my hot girl walk and do my hot girl dancing but my body won't let me :(