#I'm kind of like...a cat facing off with a cucumber when I run into a random long hair | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pillage-and-lute · 3 years

Note

If you're still open to prompts or ideas what about Geralt with curly hair, not wavy I'm talking full curls that only get worse near the ends. (Badly) Straightening it so it's easier tie up and ignore feels like a Geralt thing to do but the one time he forgets Jaskier can't get over how it looks. Also fuck all those mean asks you've been getting I vibe with your schedule and fics, being patient with expectation is part of the fun and if anybody says different they're wrong

Hi Anon!

This is cute af.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Geralt hadn’t realized that moving in with Jaskier would mean so little privacy.

Sure, the apartment was tiny and Jaskier was so casually absentminded it meant him drifting between rooms like a musical ghost. But somehow Geralt hadn’t expected it.

Really most of the time it wasn’t even bad, and Jaskier knew when Geralt really needed space. But still...

“Geralt,” Jaskier said through the door. “Are you on the toilet or in the shower?”

“Uh, no?”

“Can you let me in? I tried this face mask but it feels like it’s burning.”

Geralt sighed and opened the bathroom door.

Jaskier’s experiments with skin care, specifically face masks were often amusing, sometimes tasty (the cocoa and oatmeal homemade one), and sometimes disastrous. Jaskier was apparently slightly allergic to a large number of perfumes and dyes. At least once a month some cheap, two dollar facemask turned his face shiny and pink. He never gave them up though, keeping instead a careful list of the bad ones.

He’d convinced Geralt to try a couple, thankfully picking less vibrant colors, and they were rather nice.

This time, however, Jaskier bustled in gratefully and began to desperately scrub something obnoxiously purple off his face.

“I could feel it start to sting,” Jaskier said around the frantic face splashing. “It sounded so nice, lavender and peony with ‘calming cooling cucumber’.” Jaskier used his advertisement voice for the last part. It was a good voice, and it made him a fair amount of money, the only reason they could afford their apartment. Two grad students in a big city would generally be sharing a bedroom the side of a matchbox by now, and Geralt’s various bartending and bouncer jobs didn’t pick up that much money.

“How do I look?”

Jaskier had surfaced, face only slightly chemical-pink, with a hint of purple goop by his ear. Geralt removed it absentmindedly.

“How do you look?! Geralt, your hair is curly!”

“Yes?”

Did Jaskier really not know? He always straightened it, sure, it was just easier that way, but had Jaskier never seen....? Apparently not, because he was hurriedly unplugging Geralt’s straightener.

“Why would you hide this? Geralt it’s beautiful!” Jaskier was running his hands through the curls, short nails scratching nicely along his scalp.

“Oh but it could use a little work too,” Jaskier said, lifting a frizzy strand. “Dear heart it’s damaged all to hell, do you even use heat protectant spray?”

Heat protectant spray?

Jaskier snorted, although Geralt had said nothing aloud, his face must have said it all. Jaskier placed both hands on Geralt’s shoulders and sat him firmly down on top of the toilet lid.

“Stay,” he said. Then he disappeared.

Geralt huffed. Roach, the grumpy tabby he’d found behind a dumpster one night when he was moonlighting as a bouncer leapt up onto the counter and stared down at him judgmentally. He rolled his eyes at her. She blinked back at him, slowly.

You like when he fusses over you. He imagined her saying. It was the way cats look at you, like they know all about you and are actually staring straight through you.

I do not. He thought for her benefit.

She blinked at him again, quite judgmentally, then stood and turned a tight circle on the corner of the sink. She sat down again facing directly away from him, very clearly giving him a cold shoulder. Lie to yourself all you like.

Jaskier bustled back in with an armful of...stuff. “I don’t have all the things I’d really need for your hair of course,” he was saying. “There’s a little bit of wave to my hair, sure, but I don’t have full curls like you.”

Jaskier climbed up onto the counter corner, moving Roach gently to the floor. “Hello pretty girl.” He set his knees around Geralt, and began to pour something into his hand.

Geralt sniffed. “Is that sandalwood?”

“Very good, it’s a hair cream, good for restoring, I texted Triss and it should be okay for your hair.” He massaged it into Geralt’s head with strange scrunching motions that caught all of Geralt’s curls.

He’d rarely really thought of them as curls. He knew that’s what his hair was, of course, but he always straightened it and he had a three-in-one shampoo conditioner and body wash, which had been the cause of a conniption fit when Jaskier had first moved in.

Whatever Jaskier was doing felt good, though. Like a scalp massage.

“Mrrrhp.” said Roach. It sounded smug.

“Okay,” Jaskier said. “I’m gonna scrunch your hair with this.” He waved a washcloth. “To remove a little of the product and,” he checked his phone. “Define the curl.”

Jaskier set about playing with Geralt’s hair. He knew that wasn’t what the man was doing, but it felt like it. When Jaskier finally put down the washcloth he gave Geralt a quick spritz of something.

“Okay, I think I did it, take a look.”

Geralt was reluctant to stand from where he’d been bracketed by Jaskier’s knees, but he went to the mirror.

“It looks kind of...”

Weird. It looked weird. Geralt never just wore his curls and these weren’t even the horrible mess of having just woke up. They were actual curls.

“Sissy,” he said.

“Oh,” Jaskier looked put out. “I think they look very nice.”

Sitting on the edge of the tub, Roach blinked at Geralt judgementally.

“I’m not used to it,” Geralt said, tugging at a curl, which bounced. “But I guess it does look...nice.”

“I have an idea,” Jaskier said. He took a little packet of bobby pins that Geralt thought he recognized from the last time Yen had been over. There was some twisting and in the mirror he couldn’t really see what was going on. A couple little digs into his scalp and then...

“Voila,” Jaskier said.

It was a bun.

A man bun.

Except, man bun implied tiny and sort of inconsequential. This was quite a lot of hair and the curls looked good, adding texture.

It looked manly, for sure, but it felt secure. Geralt bobbled his head a little to check.

“I like it,” he said.

Jaskier beamed.

From the tub’s edge, Roach “mmmphrp”-ed approvingly.

#Geralt #jaskier #modern au #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #could be platonic ig #i think they wanna kiss tho #Roach #who is a cat #the witcher

574 notes · View notes

kyoka-jirou · 4 years

Note

Hi, I'd really like a Bakugo x reader or Tamaki x reader(I'm not picky though there's a soft spot for.tamaki) soulmate au where there's a 'spark'/tingle the first time you touch?

YES! This sounds so cute!!! Since I already have a Tamaki request in my inbox, I'll do a Bakugo one for you ;) [I did change the AU a bit.. for plot reasons.. 😂😂]

Bakugo Katsuki X Reader | Sparks

a soulmate au in which you first touch your soulmate you feel weird tingles. then, both of your quirks (if you have one) will never work against your soulmate.

(Warning: Cursing, [it's Bakugo 😂])

You had been part of class 1-A for a while now. Transfering from Shiketsu High had been a bit weird, but they accepted you like you'd been there since day one.

It had been a bit rough, getting used to being attacked and targeted by villians twice a week, but eventually you just got used to it.

"Hey, Y/N!" you heard from besides you, "-you ok?"

Sighing, you replied, "Yeah I'm fine, Jirou."

The young girl bumped her shoulder against yours, pushing you to the side.

"No you aren't, Y/N." she deadpanned, "You've been holding that popsicle for so long it melted already."

Looking down, you realized that yes, you did have popsicle juice pooling on the table.

"Huh."

"Oh my god." Jirou sighed, laying her head against the table, "What are we going to do with you."

"You could throw me away in the garbage can?"

Jirou lifted her head and stared at you blankly.

"Alright, alright." You joked putting your hands in the air, "I was only kidding."

A few moments later, she asked, "So. When are you going to finally confess to Bak-"

"-Throw me away in the recycling bin instead."

Cue a large groan from your purple haired friend.

You laughed, "Sorry, Ji. It was too good to pass up."

She shook her head, a smile on her face.

You sighed, "I don't know, Ji. It's not like we could be soulmates. The chances of that happening are next to none."

She smiled, "Well, Y/N, you never know."

--------

"Today we'll be pairing up in one-on-one battles. Your partner has been randomly selected. So it could be anyone." Mr. Aizawa stated blankly.

"Sensei!" Iida called out, not waiting for a response, "-There is an odd number in our class, how does that work out?"

He sighed, "The one left out will fight against Shinsou from the General studies course."

You smiled, already pumped for what was to come.

----

"L/N and Bakugo."

You froze. Ok, maybe you weren't as excited as before. Walking over, you clung to Jirou's arm and she sighed.

"Ok, I get why F/N is clinging to me like a monkey, but Momo? I get that we're soulmates, but seriously? We aren't even fighting each other."

Momo stiffened before backing away. "Sorry."

Ji oh-so-secretly grabbed her arm again.

"I didn't say to stop you weirdo."

You, however, could hardly pay attention to the rest of the conversation, as you were shaking with fear.

Your quirk was almost useless against his. Sure, you could turn into any feline, but avoiding explosions? What was your quirk good for then?

Wallowing in your terrible plans to evade his blasts, you didn't notice that the person in question was looking at you softly, intrest being the only thing on his mind.

----

Soon enough, it was your turn to fight against the powerhouse known as Bakugo Katsuki.

So, there you were, standing right across from your crush, who looked at you like you were some kind of prey.

Oh great. Is he gonna try to kill you too? At least let you confess first!

Actually, no, that was a bad idea.

"I'm gonna blow your ass to pieces!" He snarled.

"Kinky." You responded flatly.

Oh god. What did you just say?!

You looked up just in time to see him charging at you. Squeaking, your only instinct then was to evade.

Poofing into oblivion like a Thanos snap, you appeared twenty times smaller in the form of a small tabby cat.

'Run, run, run, run' was your only thought process.

So, you ran, and as speedy as a cat skidding away from a cucumber, you were gone.

"Stop running away you damn extra!" He roared.

'Hmm, let me think about that for a second.. oh wait nevermind, ain't nobody got time for that when you're about to be murdered.'

Yeah, sorry, but no.

Soon, you were playing a game of cat and mouse. But, ironically, he was playing as the cat.

'Oh fuck me gently with a chainsaw.'

"I got you you shitty Neko."

Releasing a horrific guttural scream, you transformed back into a human.

"Hell no!" you shouted, but it was too late. You tried to roll out of the way, but he already had a hold on your arm.

You tensed, bracing for the pain.

-but the pain never came. Instead it was a weird tingling sensation across your body.

Slowly, you opened you eyes, looking at your arm, seeing a whole bunch of explosions, then looking back at your arm.

Then, you exploded into laughter.

"T-That's all y-your q-quirk does??" You choked. "Pftt!"

He looked at you with confusion and anger.

"What do you mean 'that's all it does'? You shitty extra, you broke my fucking quirk!"

That's all it took, and you were a laughing mess. The almighty Bakugo's quirk was useless against your Neko powers!

"You little-" suddenly he froze. "-Holy shit."

Meanwhile, you were still laughing.

"Oh my god." He sighed.

You looked back up at him, still wheezing a bit. Trying to calm your heartbeat.

Until you met his eyes. They were- soft? He had a warm look on his face. AND WAS THAT A SMILE?!

Ok, now you knew you were dead. This was some kind of joke, right?

"L/N." he started. "You have no clue what just happened, do you?"

You slowly raised a brow.

"Well, I know that this is most likely a hallucination caused by me passed out after you most probably burnt the flesh from my arms, yes."

He stared at you blankly.

"No, that's not-"

"Or maybe," you pondered, "I'm dead, and I'm trapped with you soul for the rest of eternity. Oh my god I'm dead aren't I?"

"No, L/N-san that's not-"

"Oh my god I am dead, you just called me something other than extra-"

"L/N!" He shouted. Your gaze shot up to him.

Holy shit you forgot how hot he was.

"Yes..?" You replied meekly.

"You know that weird tingling feeling you just felt?"

"-oh my god, my arm is just gone now isn't it-"

"No!" he groaned, "Jesus Christ F/N we're soulmates!"

Then, without warning he pulled you in for a kiss.

-----

Bonus:

He pulled away and you were both panting for breath.

"That was my first kiss you asshole." You gasped.

He stared at you. "Really? That's all you have to say right now?"

"No." You replied, "I wanted to tell you to get the fuck off of me, you smell awful."

#bakugo x reader #soulmate au #soulmate au x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo is literally soft #the reader is a walking meme #why did I spend two hours making this

92 notes · View notes

randomfandomz · 4 years

Text

GET READY FOR A LOT OF HUSK HEADCANNONS

Im not sorry–

Depressed as f*ck so he doesnt have the modivation to take care of himself

He drinks mainly to forget, and to releive stress

Not only that but he H A T E S water(not as much as Baxter does, but he still avoids it like the plauge)

He never showers until he absolutely has to

Like his fur is always matted and alchohol scented

And he thinks licking himself clean like non-demon cats do is absolutely out of the question, it is gross and undignified, he doesnt want to lick himself and water makes his fur feel heavy and cold and he w i l l argue with you about this

He hates having fur. He just hates it. Its hard to take care of and things get stuck in it, it gets caught in things and just hhhh h h h H H - NO

Will straight up refuse to shower until Charlie makes him

Everyone in the hotel knows about shower day

The day when they make Husk take a shower because e w g r o s s o l d m a n -

Baxter somewhat sympathizes with him about his hatred of water

Not like he actually shows it or does anything to help him though- because 1) Bax really doesnt give a flying f*ck, he just wants to do science and this doesnt concern science so he couldnt care less, and 2) He doesnt wanna speak up because s o c i a l a n x i e t y . S o c i a l i n t e r a c t i o n ? N o t h a n k y o u .

Hes literally a cat, so he hates water with a burning passion

Husk's self image is kinda... ehhhhhh- I mean, its not like he really is that bad looking, if anything he looks pretty damn cool, but he honestly finds himself pretty unattractive. "The fur and wings d o n t h e l p "

Doesnt care if you call him old unless youre trying to be offensive; Hes proud of his age and experience

Even though he acts like an old man(well, he kinda is, but-) hes actually younger than Baxter, Mimzy, Alastor, Angel, and Nifty

Only Vaggie and Crymini are younger than him

When Husk first arrived at the hotel he didnt really wanna interact with anyone; New places kind of stress him out, so it took a long time for him to adjust and not snap at every little thing

Dont get me wrong, hes still a pissy alchoholic^tm, but the anger is less serious/genuine and more just because thats how he is

Husk fought in the vietnam war, and he attempted(and failed) suicide multiple times after the war until he was eventually beaten to death outside of a bar

He turned to alchoholism and gambling as a coping mechanism

Husk suffers from PTSD(Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), along with the obvious alchoholism and gambling addiction

He is very salty/sad that he's a war vet but died in a bar fight, and wouldn't be remembered for his fighting but rather for being beaten to death in a bar while trying to drink away the feelings he had about not being welcomed home because of the way the media portrayed him and his fellow soldiers that fought in Vietnam

Upon learning that Husk is a vietnam war vet(he mentioned it while drunk off his ass- more than usual) one patron who attended the hotel for a short time told him "Welcome home doc!". Husk was surprised, as he had come to terms with the idea that he would never be thanked or welcomed for his services, but he did make sure to be maybe a bit less pissy to that particular guest. He will never forget them. It meant more to him than he would like to admit.

((I can't really think of a better reason as to why Husk would bring it up, but having seen one or two instances of someone saying "welcome home" to Vietnam war vets, I really wanted to add this. The "Welcome home doc" thing was me referencing a specific instance of this ive seen. Im so sorry if I'm wrongly portraying this in anyway, I tried to do enough research first before typing this part out, but I just wanted to point out that I tried my best to be respectful while talking about the subject.))

Moving on- L A S E R P O I N T E R S

One time Angel was just casually messing around with a laser pointer, out of boredom or something

HUSK'S RESPONSE WAS IMMEDIATE

HE WILL CHASE THAT RED DOT TO THE ENDS OF THE GODDAMN EARTH

"That DAMN RED DOT where the FUCK did iT gO!?"

He HATES that he does this, but he really cannot help it

Being a cat demon, and being Husk, his hunt and kill instinct is through the roof(hunt and kill instinct is why cats chase laser pointers btw)

Was VERY pissy for the next few weeks after this incident

Husk will purr involuntarily whenever someone pets him or strokes his fur

He WILL murder anyone who attempts to pet him or make him purr without consent(*COUGH COUGH* ANGEL *COUGH*)

Same goes for the wings DO NOT TOUCH THE WINGS, JUST DONT-

In his room, Husk's bed is literally a mound of blankets and pillows inside a box

Even he needs to get warm and comfortable after a long day

He never lets anyone in his room

Like n e v e r

Angel snuck in one night- Husk's half asleep drunken a*s shoved him out and yelled at him, waking up practically all the hotel staff and a few guests

In his defense, Angel, upon seeing the sleeping Husk, scratched behind his ears. Husk started to purr, but then snapped to somewhat conciousness, and realized what the f*ck was going on-

Yes, Husk is v e r y defensive

Give him a compliment? He wont accept it under any circumstances. He will probably be flustered and claim that the other is either lying or just kissing up to him

"You know you dont have to kiss my a*s to ask me something, right? The fuck do you want?"

Charlie honestly finds his reaction to compliments very sad

Has a kind of "well ya didnt need to point it out" attitude towards insults

Alastor insults him with the worst names in the book? He accepts it and couldnt give less f*cks

Even if its someone either than Alastor insulting him, usually even if he acts offended and p*ssed off, somewhere in his mind he just accepts it

Usually Alastor is the one insulting him, but in a "best friend rights" kind of way

He likes being creative when it comes to colorful language

"Look out to my sea of f*cks, and see how it is barren"

Doesnt have a "soft spot" for kids like Angel, but doesnt mind lessening the swearing a bit and doing a few magic tricks for the occasional child that somehow found their way to the hotel

He HISSES

If Husk is hissing at you you better f*ckin rUN-

He usually refrains from hissing- its part of him rebelling against his cat-like nature, but if he is openly hissing at you it means he is at his wits-end and is honestly P * S S E D .

sERIOUSLY, F*CKING R U N -

Crymini has a blog documenting all the cat-like things Husk does, and she sometimes does the classic "THIS IS A HUSK IN ITS NATURAL HABITAT" or "LETS SEE HOW THE KITTY REACTS TO THIS NEXT THING" bit, and Husk honestly finds it insulting as f*ck

Crymini pranked Husk with a cucumber(you know how cats on the internet are terrified of them) and Husk was actually scared of it, and he ran up a f*cking tree and wouldnt come down for a solid hour, partly put of legitimate fear, and partly out of spite from seeing the slightly guilty look on Crymini's face after the first 20 minutes of him hiding up there

Being a cat demon, alchohol is actually slightly toxic to him, and he is prone to alchohol poisoning. He usually drinks beer, which has low ammount of ethanol(5-7%)[ethanol is what makes alchohol so toxic to cats]

Baxter has a spray bottle to use on Husk if he is being particularly stubborn or bothersome. Charlie sometimes uses her own spray bottle for similar purposes, but she usually says something like "Bad kitty! No!" Along with it to tease him. Husk finds it humiliating and hates when his fur is wet, so surprisingly the spray bottle thing usually works.

He is demi-panromantic and asexual

H A T E S being touched, like under any circumstances

"The last time I voluntarily made physical contact with another being was in 1970 and it was while I was loosing a bar fight. It was also the day I was beaten to death and setenced to hell."

Bonus:

Angel: Hey kitty~! Wanna cuddle~?

Husk: The last time I voluntarily made physical contact with another being was in 1970 and it was while I was loosing a bar fight.

Angel: Oh really? *snickers* And how'd that work out for ya'?

Husk: Well, it was also the day I was beaten to death and put in hell. So I dunno. You tell me.

148 notes · View notes

nnq · 5 years

Text

modern!au k(lance)

they're all in their 20's except for Shiro who's 30 and coran who's 50

first of all. miss me with that 'pining roommate' shit. I love miscommunication and making characters that r sexy bffs with one another

Lance meets Nyma through a Craigslist ad he put up saying he needed a roommate. the moment they met was a tragedy for everyone but them because they're that powerful and beautiful

lance with tousled hair, wearing a half-unbuttoned silk shirt and designer jeans, Michael kors sunglasses pushed up atop his head, arm wrapped around nyma: hi guys this is my roommate, nyma!

nyma, with her blonde 3-ft long box braids down her back, perfectly manicured red nails, bodycon dress and loubitons, hand on lances waist: hey

allura, shaking and on the verge of tears: STOP MAKING US LOOK POOR AND UGLY

Lance is in school for marine biology and Nyma works as a hairdresser and the both of them are small beauty gurus on YouTube that collab with one another

lance: hey guys we're going to be trying out the new anastasia pallete we got today :)!

nyma: and by got we mean shoplifted from sephora

lance: NYMA YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT

they're also insta baddies and both gender non-conforming baddies. Nyma is a nonbinary lesbian icon and lance is a nonbinary bicon.... those are like the fucking BEST senses of style

anyone with eyes can see that nyma is into and ONLY into girls but of course... heteronormativity.

rolo: I still don't get why you're dating lance. he's super annoying.

nyma: he doesn't bitch nearly as much as you even when he's got my cock in his ass

they do this thing where when people assume they're a couple they pretend they're some kind of kink couple and freak everyone out

which is why when hunk and pidge meet nyma they're like :eyes: but when nyma flirts with pidge lance doesn't even bat an eye and then lance starts pining about Keith's greasy mullet and his bags under his eyes and nymas got this look on her face that perfectly resembles a man who's lost all sense of normalcy and righteousness in his life and now sits in a bar every night listening to this dumb romance novel type shit and then pidge and hunk are like. oh. no they're just gay.

speaking of keith. he's one of those gays. one of the quirky emo gays that never sleeps and listens to 'coffee and cigarettes' on repeat and has like 3 strings of lights in his room and not only is an art major but ALSO a photographer. and yet somehow he still has the will to wake up at 5 am every morning and go to the gym like some kind of HEATHEN.

Lance knew Keith in high school for 3 years until he got expelled for fighting at the end of his junior year. He was also universally crushed on and was the bad boy jock of the school with a heart of gold so naturally Lance pretended to despise him so he could pine for him in peace

that all goes down the drain when Lance recognizes Keith in one of his classes and goes through the five stages of grief because a) he's hot and b) Lance is openly bi now so he doesn't have an escuse to not tolerate him

(He wasn't gonna do anything about it until he was put in a group with Keith a few weeks into class and he off handedly mentioned he went to Keiths high school, and Keith claimed he didn't remember him, and Lance was just a tad bit upset but was gonna leave it at that except after like 5 days of working together Keith slams his fists into the table and is like 'HOLY FUCK LANCE MCCLAIN?' And Lance is like. w. What.)

turns out Keith does remember lance. very vividly, actually. because he was the guy that everyone kind of had a crush on because he was so nice and charming to everyone he met, and Keith was SO gone for him. he just didn't recognize him tbh, which makes sense, bcuz in high school lance wore blue contacts and had straight hair and now he just wears glasses occasionally and leaves his hair wavy. Keith is gay and stupid don't blame him

keith, bursting into Shiro and Adams apartment at 2 pm: SHIRO HOLY FUCK

adam, bags under his eyes, underneath the covers of him and shiros bed: good fucking god not again

I'm tired of talking about ppl other than Lance and nyma though so I'm gonna talk about them for a bit because im love

as I said Lance has wavy hair and his actual eye color is brown but as he was growing up he was hella insecure about it that's why he wore blue contacts.... nyma caught him once trying to put them on again and put an end to All That Real Quick

nyma has brown eyes too and they're super dark, almost black, and that shits breathtaking bro. she usually has her real hair dyed blonde all the time and permed but she also likes to wear wigs and get braids too because she knows she looks damn good in them. everyone is jealous.

lance has tons of super light freckles. Enough said. nyma has a birthmark on her hip that's kind of shaped like a horse if you look at it from the right way

lance: you were a horse girl as a kid weren't u

nyma: how fucking dare. how fucking dare you say that. I really do have to laugh.......

nyma: obviously I was a warrior cats stan

lance's sense of fashion ranges from 'i went to California for a week once and now I can't stop wearing sweatpants and slides' to 'It's surprising I haven't gotten robbed at this point'. Lance is a scholarship baby so all the money he saved up through countless jobs and the one he already has at a coffee shop almost exclusively goes to clothes and kombucha

Nymas sense of style is definitely more on the eccentric side but since she looks good in EVERYTHING she gets away with it. think dollskill but with more neon colors and designer. she's the kind of person that never wears the same shade of lipstick for a whole month and has a box full of makeup palletes that are almost untouched and everyone who has seen it is both jealous and in wonder FENTYWAYS...

Keith goes over to lance's apartment for a project of sorts and immediately assumes that Lance and Nyma are a thing (they're very platonically affectionate, Nyma will kiss lance's cheek and they cuddle sometimes) which is disappointing but it's not a surprise considering Lance is so Lance and everyone else acts like they are dating so that must be the case, right?

lmao you thought.

nyma: holy shit. holy Fuck. God, allura is so hot. I would probably die if she brushed past me. I would die happily knowing I've been blessed by the touch of an angel.

lance: yeah haha she's really pretty.

keith, struggling to not choke on his coffee hearing All This at 9:31 A.M. in starbucks:

Keith asks if he can take photos of the two of them for his photography insta and they both jump on it so they can flex being sexy and afterwards Lance thanks him with a kiss on the cheek and Keith is sent REELING into gay mayhem.

lance: do you think that was like..... too much.

nyma: i think men are dumb that's what.

I mean u can't really blame Keith because Lance and Nyma are constantly joke-flirting with one another on social media and are in almost every one of the others photos in some way, or at least tagged, so by the time Keith actually works up the nerve to ask about that, it's been WEEKS since Lance kissed him and he's been miserably failing to ignore it

keith: so.... how's nyma doing?

lance: she's good! She's spent all day dying one of her wigs so she went for a coffee run lol. probably will hang with allura and shay later too

keith: and.... that doesn't make you jealous?

lance: LOL no.... they could never compete with me (talking about being Nyma's best friend)

keith: oh.... well, it's good that you trust each other a lot in your relationship.... you seem like a really good boyfriend

lance: wat the fuck did you just say.

as soon as lance explains that nyma is not his gf and they're just bffs Keith is like ohthankgod.jpg and almost accidentally asks lance on a date before he stops himself and is like.... dumb gay bitch calm DOOOWWWNN

after that it becomes very obvious that nyma and lance r just friends at least for Keith mostly through dumb shit they say to one another

lance, sitting with hunk, pidge, and Keith at the library: hey guys wanna see something cool.

pidge: go for it

lance, clearing his throat: she think she bad but I'm better, these bitches tryna play catch up-

nyma, coming out of nowhere: SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN I'M TALKING LIL BITCH, PUT YO HEAD DOWN WHEN YOU TALK TO A PIMP-

Nyma and Lance have self-care nights every Friday, sometimes Allura or Shay will come, and very RARELY Keith if only to spend time with Lance. also? Allura and Shay are dating, die mad about it.

They do waxing, exfoliation, mud masks, moisturizing treatments, hair masks, painting nails.... need I go on. it's basically whatever they want to do that week and when Keith reluctantly agrees to participate one day Lance goes mental

lance: OK so here's what I'm thinking. it's obvious you haven't really had a self care day for a while, which is like, fine, you do you, but holy shit are your split ends bad. I was thinking maybe I could trim them and then we could do a hair mask? Oh! A face mask would be good as well, even though you've practically got perfect skin. I'd offer to wax but for first timers the pain is a bitch to handle on the face. I'm not sure if you'd be an acrylic kind of guy but I have some black nail polish that I could put on- wow, your hands are really big compared to mine, and they're so soft, haha, isn't that crazy? so what do you think?

keith, still reeling from the fact that lance is going to touch his hair, face, and hands in the next several hours: uh......yeah..... sounds great.

nyma, sitting on lance's bed in nothing but a bra and sweatpants, smoking a blunt and readjusting her sheet mask: *long exhale* christ

Shay got Lance into the whole healthy organic food thing and in turn he got Nyma into it so they're both the bitches who drink nothing but Fiji water and almond milk and will offer you a plate of sliced cucumbers and tomatoes as a snack. we Stan a vegan couple.

keith: these are actually really good.

nyma: we usually put them on our eyes, but go off I guess.

keith:

nyma: nah I'm just fucking with you, we have different cucumbers for that

by the end of the night Keith feels like he's been cleaned by a car wash and he's dizzy from all of lance's thoughtless affection and when lance says he can stay the night because it's already late, Keith mindlessly blurts out 'only if it's with you' and nymas like.... um. Wig.

keith, laying stiff as a board on one side of lance's bed: uh

lance: oh my God you gay bitch get over here and spoon me. also kiss me on the fucking lips bro.

Nyma owns a cat named Beezer that she stole from her old roommate (rolo) but calls her beebo because quote 'beezer is so fucking lame bro i hate men'. Lance owns a Russian blue mix called, you guessed it, Blue, that he found stuck in his apartments basement only a few days after moving in. Nyma and Lance are WEAK

lance: ohhhhh look at my pretty baby sitting on the table all cute and relaxed!!! look at that baby!!! fantastic stuff!

nyma, putting her head on beebos belly: You Are So Soft And So Chubby I Would Die For You

pidge would also die for the both of them

OK I'm tired and uninspired so I'll stop here but I MAY ADD MORE LATER

#klance #voltron #voltron tw #voltron au #lance #keith

14 notes · View notes