#I'm literally crying in my house

[starrystevie]

it was all supposed to be a joke. they were supposed to be in steve’s backyard with all their friends and family in shitty lawn chairs, holding cans of budweiser and jamming to whatever song eddie was in the mood for that day blasting through the speakers. steve was supposed to be in front of them all in a tuxedo t-shirt and powder blue dress pants, flowers in his hair that had been teased to high heaven and dark black sunglasses to keep out the bright sun. that’s how they had planned it all those years ago when they’d been high and drunk and young and in love.

but somehow instead, the yard is full of flowers and benches that hopper and wayne put together with spare wood for everyone to sit on and there’s an archway at the end of the aisle and soft acoustic songs spilling gently out of the speakers. steve’s still at the front, that was always supposed to happen, but this time he’s wearing an actual tux, light cream with a boutonnière and everything, and his hair is pushed back just so. there’s no flowers in his hair and no sunglasses but it’s cloudy enough of a day where he doesn’t really need them anyway.

they weren't even supposed to do this. there wasn't supposed to be a grand entrance and a walk down the aisle, no flower girls or ring bearers or anything remotely traditional. but what started off as, "well, i wouldn't mind walking down the aisle," and "i think exchanging rings would be cool," and "who cares if it isn't legal, i'm going to marry you anyway damnit," turned into this beautiful day of friends and family and love.

robin’s standing beside him in a tux of her own, pinstripe grey donning a pocket boutonnière that matches nancy’s bouquet, with a few notecards in her hands. and speaking of nancy, she’s heading down the aisle in a flowing dress, and when her eyes catch robin’s, she crinkles her nose before blowing her a kiss. she stands opposite of steve as eddie's not-quite-bridesmaid and grips her bouquet tightly, her eyes never leaving robin's.

and then there's dustin. he's in a tux that matches steve's and he has his curls pushed back with probably too much gel and a tie that suzie got him for their 3rd anniversary. the best thing he's sporting, though, is the smile on his face and the ring box in his hand and the joy in his eyes as he looks out at the crowd. having him there as best man and smelling the cheap cologne he wears so he seems more grown up calms steve's ever beating heart enough to where he doesn't think he'll throw up from nerves anymore.

all of their loved ones are surrounding them in clothes steve’s never seen before but he couldn’t care at all what they’re wearing because they’re all smiling wide and bright at him. he catches himself rocking back and forth on his feet so he shakes out his hands and holds them behind his back to distract himself. his stomach is rolling with waves or butterflies and when he catches joyce's eye in the front row, she mimes taking in a deep breath which he instantly copies. the soft grin she sends in return tells him that he thinks it could actually work to settle him. mothers have that healing way about them.

he’s never been good with weddings, always fidgeting in a too tight suit his mom picked out, but he never thought he’d be this antsy at his own.

steve's just about to give up and sprint down the aisle to get eddie so they can run away together and leave nerves and or butterflies behind him, but then the music stops. he sees lucas changing out the tapes quickly, giving a thumbs up to mike who throws one to will who runs back behind the shed to where he knows eddie is waiting and when will pops his head back out to run back to his seat, it hits him.

he's getting married.

steve doesn't have time to think about it anymore than he already has been for the last 8 years because eddie's coming around the corner of the shed.

'here comes the sun' is playing out over the speakers, soft and perfect, and eddie's smiling, wide and beautiful, and steve can't help but mirror it back to him. the clouds overhead seem to hear them, hear the song and hear their hearts beating in time with each other, because as soon as eddie gets to the aisle, bright warm rays of sunlight peak out and make the rhinestones he demanded line the lapels of his own black tux shine like real diamonds.

steve stops breathing. he swears he does, and he knows his family are all feeling the same way. he can hear a few gasps, hears joyce muttering what she thinks is a silent, "oh my god," in hop's ear, and watches how wayne stands up just a bit straighter from his front row seat.

eddie glides down the aisle like the drama king he is, soaking in the looks from everyone they care about and soaking in the sun that seems to come out only for him. it's like the sun knows he's a star, too, and wants to come out to be with one of it's own. eddie's always been sunshine and starlight and a blinding thing to look at and take in. he's the light, steve's the moth, and a few clouds on their wedding day could never change it.

"well, that was insanely good timing," eddie whispers to steve once he reaches him. his grin softens and he brings up a hand to wipe gently at the tear tracks on steve's cheeks. "hi, baby."

and steve can do nothing but choke out a laugh, catching eddie's hand in his own so he press a kiss to his palm. he thinks he can feel eddie's heartbeat against his lips and, even if it's his brain playing tricks on him, he likes the sentiment that it brings. "i love you so fucking much."

it's eddie's turn to get teary-eyed and the sun glints off the tears that fall down his cheek before heading back behind the clouds, dotting quick-to-fade sparkles on his face like a wedding present.

steve kisses him. he can't help it. it's nothing but a fast press of lips, watery smile to watery smile, and everyone is cheering except for robin.

"hey! it's not time for that yet," she says with a pretend scowl, arms pressing to each of their chests to keep them apart. it's enough to leave nancy giggling where she stands behind eddie, her laugh like bells bouncing off of the trees surrounding them. "just give me like ten minutes and we'll have you married and you can kiss all you want then."

steve swears he can hear mike groan at that which cause him to grin which cause eddie to grin back and then they're holding hands like it's the only way to get through the next ten minutes. and it might just be the only way to get through it. knowing them, if they didn't hold on tight, one of them would make a move first and there'd be hands around waists and fingers tangled in hair and robin would hate them forever because she wouldn't get to do her speech.

it's after vows are shared, after rings are on fingers, after kisses are pressed to lips and cheeks and temples and hands and everything else they can quickly reach, that the two of them get some peace. everyone is inside eating snacks and drinking cheap champagne, and it goes unspoken that they're going to take some time for themselves. take some time to bask in their new maybe not-so-legally real but as real as could ever be in their hearts marriage.

they make their way, hand in hand like they've always been meant to do, to a table set up for them. eddie pops a bottle of champagne that they pass back and forth between themselves as they share cheesy smiles and champagne-laced kisses. and it's as they look into each other's eyes, fingers lacing so their rings clink softly against each other, that the sun peaks out to say hello once more.

#hi so this is the post from that poll i had going around for a bit #my friend got married last wekend and it was super cloudy but as soon she she came out to walk do the aisle to hear comes the sun #the sun came out and shone only on her i'm not even fucking joking #literally not a dry eye in the house when it happened #her now husband was like bent over crying it was so sweet #steddie #steddie headcanon #my writing #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #steddie fluff #oh ps happy pride month to steddie

[introspectivememories]

#AUUUGH WAILING SCREAMING CRYING SLIDING DOWN THE WALL SOBBING #BROCEDES PLEASE WHY COULDN'T YOU TWO HAVE BEEN NON-FAMOUS #WHY DID YOU DRAG ALL OF US INTO YOUR SITUATIONSHIP #my mom is sick of me wailing about them. nearly collapsed at work when i remembered 'yes... and team-mate' #sliver springs is going platinum in my house rn #how can you be childhood friends and just fall apart like that? i think about falling out with tas like that and i go nearly catatonic #yeah you're a 7x wdc winner and you got the one wdc that you wanted but was it worth it? was this loss worth it? would you do it again? #going by the interviews they probably would and that's why they fell out in the first place. i literally cannot imagine caring about some #trophy over my childhood best friend but like i guess that's why they're pro level athletes and i'm in my room posting about them #anyway what the fuck was up during f1 photographers during their fallout? why is every photo of them cinematic? did you know we'd be using #them? did you know we'd go crazy? or were you also like 'oh this is cinema in the making. i gotta capture this.'? #anyway for all of that want to know where the quote is from‚ it's jacob black from twilight when bella is getting turned into a vamp #stephanie meyer had one (1) banger line and it was this #brocedes #brocedes edit #f1 edit #f1 web weaving #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #nr6 #lh44 #formula 1 #web weaving #please ignore my absolutely atrocious photo editing skills. thank you imgflip!!

[qcoded]

The way I was giggling while drawing this... I like to draw them being soft.

#the owl house #toh #the collector #emperor belos #philip wittebane #collector toh #belos toh #belos #philip toh #collector #fanart #my art #NOT SHIP #UGH I'M GONNA CRY #I literally squealed when I took a good look at this

[daincrediblegg]

me when mike flanagan uses excellently selected songs from the 70's with the best fucking upbeat tune to underline the latent tension in a scene in his new gothic horror television series

#yes I have been listening to back in the new york groove and feeling myself the whole day. #gonna be my groove the same way holly holy was after midnight mass #I'm going to cry he can't keep getting away with it #mike seriously I love your music choices if you see this. if you have a mix of your faves I would literally love to hear it. such a vibe #fall of the house of usher #mike flanagan

[mattodore]

lovesick

#hi 👋 i have a hospital appointment in two hours that i'm nervous about so here i am in my screenshots folder staring at mattodore #i really shouldn't be typing rn but i'm. a ball of nerves. like actually keep me in your thoughts... like please. jsfdhnkj #also i think i'm gonna start reblogging things untagged here for a little while........... bc like. #i really shouldn't be typing it fucks with my arms so bad..... i say as i'm typing #but ykwim like that's why i've just been avoiding tumblr lmao #um so if you for some reason care abt ppl not tagging reblogs of other people's sims content uh idk what to say bc i'm gonna do it anyway #so expect that from me until i (hopefully) get meds again #also............ i have not started editing theo's bday edit and it's literally tomorrow. Scream . #i finished the poses tho <3 but yeah... we laugh and cry #i want to say i'll just start editing after i get back from the hospital but. well. #it's okay tho bc if i'm late for theo's bday edit that's understandable bc of the Illness but also #matthias's bday edit was like a week late anyway so lmao #also no caption bc idk i can't think #wait nvm listen to this song #river dipping #ts4 #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #a burning house to live in #echthroi

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz #ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and #then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc. #Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific #cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or #etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as #you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on #accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have #as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence #of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate #versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a #neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest #ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling #and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for #documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like #sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I #can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If #I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my #ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ?? #Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be #accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor #focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it #were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan #that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is #some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my #kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means #i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m #in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in #one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability #& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER

[ladythespera]

dmc5 finale

working on a trish painting << see a YT comment and spend too much time making a meme

Alternatively:

✨ that moment when the soulful violin solo gets unceremoniously suplexed into an electrip bop remix ✨

[IMAGE ID: A rendition of the "I am the captain now" meme, but with Vergil and Nero instead. In the first panel, Nero says "Look at me, father. Look at me." In the second panel, Vergil looks at him nervously. In the final panel, Nero (in full DT form) says "I am the final boss now." Alternatively, he says, "I am the storm that is approaching now."]

#devil may cry #dmc5 #dmc meme #vergil sparda #nero sparda #also if someone adds a child support joke to this...i won't come for you...but i might side-eye u judgementally like vergil.... #(not rlly i'm just...real tired of that joke...and it isn't even very accurate imo....as if vergil the most proud stuck up sparda in #existence...wouldn't make a point of flaunting his house/offspring/legacy/wealth even if he didn't like nero or had no $... #would rob a bank just to buy his kid the perfect school lunchbox vibes...'if you're broke just say so' vibes... #he would literally be so offended by the tax joke insinuation i think...'*my* legacy is well-endowed (unlike ~dante~)'... #bUT thAT'S just my opinion anyways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

[elliesbelle]

lol

#i'm literally like. #sooooo done with life #i've been on the verge of tears on and off today fr #work itself has been ugh #my kids are being so crazy and i love them but very draining #and my work friends are basically pulling away from me and it makes me wanna die #they essentially replaced me with someone else and i'm literally sitting here like oh ok lol #and my ex and i are in this weird fucking space and i can't fucking deal with it #siri play 'boyfriend' by ariana grande and social house #like... she's not mine and like... technically she can date other people lol #but lol you're really taking her out on a date that would be perfect for ME????? #you know what ur doing lol #but i mean ig #'you ain't my boyfriend!!!! and i ain't ur girlfriend!!!!!' #screaming and crying and throwing up #i hate my life y'all #i'm legit at my limit #i don't want to make my every-three-years trip to the ICU and psych ward but!!!!!! #sorry y'all i needed to put this somewhere lol #i'll prob delete later #belle speaks #v

[transxfiles]

Y'ALL WHAT THE FUCK.

MY ROOMMATE HAD SOMEONE OVER FOR THE NIGHT AND SHE LET THEM SLEEP IN MY BED WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST??? EVEN THOUGH WE EXPLICITLY AGREED THAT WE WOULD ASK EACH OTHER FIRST BEFORE EVER HAVING SOMEONE OVER??? AND IN MY BED???? HELLO?????

this is such a massive boundary for me and i'm so upset. she knew i was gone this weekend because i have to work (when i work i'm out in the city so i just stay there for the night instead of dealing with the commute to/from college) or else i can't afford to yknow exist as a human being under capitalism but like. that's so fucked. she literally knew that i wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING about it bc i'm out of town for the weekend and she took advantage of that.

and she pretended that we never discussed having someone over she tried to play the "oh i'm sorry we just never talked about it before" card and i'm like. we literally DID talk about it. it was in the roommate contract that the college MADE US FILL OUT TOGETHER and we both agreed we would have to ASK each other and COMMUNICATE before anything like that happened.

the thing is i'm just a very personal type of person and this is a massive boundary she just crossed for me. and she was already really upsetting me bc she's been belittling me all the time and she's not respectful of my work and i woke up a couple times to her watching me sleep and she's been staring at me while i change and she doesn't listen when i tell her no, ever, and i'm very, very upset about this all. this is the last straw.

#vent #i texted my RA about it because i'm so done but there's also a housing shortage on campus #and bc my roommate never fucking leaves me alone - like she literally follows me around places and tracks me down if i try to avoid her - #our friend groups are kinda overlapping now which makes things very very complicated #and i was putting up with all the other random shit but when i found out she let a stranger sleep in my bed ON MY SHEETS WITH MY PILLOWS i #just needed to cry. i NEED to cry. this is a massive thing for me and i just can't forgive her for this.

[running-in-the-dark]

.

#currently crying because I'm alone with my husband's 94 year old grandma and I'm the only one who ever lets her talk about certain topics #so she just talked about her childhood and youth for one and a half hours #which means. the war #I'm not gonna go into it but it makes me cry every time even though I've already heard it all before #how can you not cry about a child who lost two of her teenaged brothers and had to watch the third one very nearly die too #the stories about how careful they had to be because the police constantly went to every house and checked everything #how they had to hide some of the milk from their cows so they could make butter because they couldn't afford to buy it #and how dangerous that was. #idk I'm so tired of people dying over senseless and unnecessary shit forever and ever and nothing ever changes and no one ever seems #to learn from it #or at least the ones in power don't #as long as there's disposable people (men) to send to war it doesn't matter. and now that's not even necessary anymore you can just kill #people from far away and. I'm just tired #and I'll shut up now and not talk about these things again as usual. it's not because I don't care it's because it (literally) drives me #insane to think about it and I know it's weak and pathetic but I have to choose to stay just barely sane enough to stay alive #can't stop crying. 🙃 #anyway. shouldn't talk about it so. bye

[bewareofthenewphannie]

AmazingPhil video with "our" in the thumbnail, okay...

#ALSO WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU UPLOADING SO MUCH #I'm not truly complaining because this is the most exciting thing happening in my life right now as I can literally not leave the house #but- #also phil's german I'm crying

[sga-owns-my-soul]

haha ignore this i need to vent

i'm so fucking done i'm so fucking mad at everyone i'm pissed at my cousin for fucking me over i'm pissed at my clients for being fucking idiots i'm pissed at my city for NEVER HAVING WORKING FUCKING TRANSIT i'm not okay i'm so not fucking okay and i don't even have my fucking headphones bc they fell out of my jacket in my cousins STUPID FUCKING CAR THAT I BASICALLY PAY FOR BUT GOD FORBID SHE DRIVE ME HOME so now i get to spend over 2 hours (after i've spent 3 hours on transit/waiting for her this morning) on public transit to get home WITHOUT my music and my clothes are ruined with cat hair from my clients today so that's fucking great and OF COURSE everything in the fucking city is delayed bc WHY WOULD WE MAKE ANYTHING EASY FOR ME NO ITS FINE ILL JUST FUCKING SUFFER TO MAKE THINGA EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE GODFORBID I GET TO CATCH A FUCKING BREAK

#no i'm not okay #i'm fuckimg crying on a train #that's on the LITERAL OPPOSITE END OF THE CITY FROM MY HOUSE #i spent just under 3 hours working today #and i'm spending over 5 hours getting to and from work #i'm so fucking done i'm so sick of being alive #holy fucking christ can ANYTHING not be fucking shit!!!!!!! #i hate being alive!!!!!!! i don't want to do this anymore!!!!!!! #and i can't even fucking kill myself bc god forbid the people in my life be sad #they can't lose me but they can fuck me over constantly!!!!! #god fuck i'm so fucking sick of this #i need a fucking break #humans aren't meant to work this much and im going to start actually commiting violence about it #tw suicide mention #personal rambles #ignore this #i'm just being too sensitive 🙃🙃🙃🙃 #i'm just Letting My Emotions Control Me 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 #disclaimer i'm safe i'm not actually at risk of hurting myself at all i promise #i just wanna die but i'm not gonna do anything

[miodiodavinci]

good news: we have water again ! ! ! a pipe had burst somewhere up the street so the city came out and fixed it today (we still need to run the tap to get rid of the air and muddy water but. it's something.)

bad news: i had to go to my partner's to do laundry and shower so i missed out on work time today (bad) (anxiety inducing) (i don't need this right now)

worst news: i have a killer headache and my throat is suspiciously stiff 👁 👁

#please please please for the love of god ; ; ; #i am begging and pleading do Not let this be a repeat of last semester ; ; ; ; #this is exactly how i felt last time i got sick with covid and i Cannot afford another late start ; ; ; ; #i am. suddenly stuck by The Unwelcome Guest last week cryptically asking me when you're supposed to test for covid #and then saying 'hmm. okay. good to know.' and then refusing to elaborate #i swear. to god if she got me sick i'm #i. can't even say. i'm suddenly struck by such helpless grief thinking about how little i can do to keep her from being in my life ; ; ; ; #we literally Evicted her she all but threatened my older sibling into letting her visit weekly to take care of her potted plants #and then in october last year she was like 'my roommate has covid and i don't have money for a hotel i have nowhere to go :'(' #so the agreement was she could stay for One Week #and basically she has been. on and off our couch since then. #like. only going back to her apartment for 1 to 3 days at a time before spending another two weeks in our house. #with new excuses every time. #and literally Every Time I Say No And Put My Foot Down older sibling begs on her behalf because she's busy hounding and guilt-tripping them #so like. what can i even do if it turns out she infected me with covid because she didn't care to disclose that she was feeling sick #(and decided to come over anyway) #i'm just. overwhelmed ; ; ; #i feel like crying ; ; ; #i'm already busy pre-mourning the loss of my mental health and down time with my internship starting back next week #i don't need to worry about whether or not i'm going to be bed ridden for 2 weeks #and suffer Even More lasting lung and brain and blood and fatigue issues on top of that ; ; ; ; #a a a a a i just. feel like crying a lot ; ; ; ; #i'm already behind ; ; ; #i should ; ; ; try to work more tonight before the inevitability of it all hits me tomorrow ; ; ; ; ;

[sonego]

can i complain about my life again promise you all won't hate me

#(i know everyone already does most likely so i'll do it and just feel bad about it but) #it's not that i don't love my family and i'm not happy to go back home to have dinner w them and all but #god after like 3 hours i'm already exhausted #i feel bad about it but they're just SO exhausting and this house is SO suffocating #i did it i left i did it. why do i still feel trapped #quite literally can't even stomach watching football rn bc i just wanna sit in the dark under my blanket and fucking. idk. cry maybe #and it makes it all so much worse that it's so painfully obvious my mum is tired and probably sad and surely fed up w my father (and my #brother to a lesser extent) #every time i come home i just wanna say sorry. sorry i left you. sorry you're alone. you're not alone but you're alone against the world #and she dismisses my worrying bc ofc she does and i do the same with her worries we've played this dance all our lives #it's just. how do you let someone worry about you when you both know there's nothing you can do to make it better #when you both know the source of the misery and exhaustion is inescapable #god i wish it was. like. i wish this was a movie. where people actually help you in these situations. where there isn't that BIG big big #obstacle that feels wrong to even call an obstacle but it will always forever make it impossible to do anything about the problem #i wish the people who said they'd help gave even half a shit and actually did (it was their fucking job) #going from sad to angry to hopeless to exhausted every 4 seconds i'm so #the thing is i'm not gonna stop coming back home you know? i'm not i can't #i don't even want to #but i wish it wasn't so fucking soul crushing every time bc i don't wanna keep having tiring tiring weeks #and then go back home on weekends and feel the opposite of rested #ok. i should shut up. sorry. i really don't know why i'm even alive atm #delete later #i never remember to delete these (when i remember to tag them in the first place)

[dannydanoninoo]

LUMITY KISS IN HD LUMITY KISS IN HLUMITY KISS IN HD LUMITY KISS IN HD LUMITY KISS IN HD

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #I'm crying #suck it mouse #DANA TERRACE I WILL LITERALLY PRAY FOR YOU #TOH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #MY SHIPPER HEART IS CRYING AND SOARING #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #luz noceda #lumity #amity blight #LUMITY KISS #THEY KISSED #ON CAMERA #FUCK YOU DISNEY #THEY GOT CANCELLED BUT WE GOT OUR WLW KISS #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[moe-broey]

Jacket!!!! Ye olde varsity I got at the very beginning of my transition thinking "Oh fuck yes I am going to pass so hard in this" and. Well. It never worked I just have never passed a day in my life I don't think 😔 Eventually it just became a beloved test subject and has since gone through a bit of a transition itself LMFAOO

Some Notes:

> A lot of the decorations are taken from old backpacks I loved dearly that got absolutely fucking destroyed by the weight of all the shit I'd lug around in highschool LMFAO (sketchbook, diary, all kinds of notebooks...). Never had the heart to get rid of them. Specifically: The pink zippers, the holographic pockets, the glow in the dark stars, and the holo angel wings!

> The pink/blue checkers are from a small decorative quilt I thrifted years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if it was handmade (it's super soft material, btw! Important LMAO). I only took out one line of squares, I plan on stitching the rest of it back together (haven't done it yet though LMFAO). The reason for this was to upsize the jacket, so I can button it without it clinging. The pockets were added for funsies ESP cause it lined up very well and aren't really practical LMFAO (BUT YOU CAN PUT THINGS IN THEM! If you want!! 🎉🎉🎉)

> The patches (esp the name/pronouns one) were the first additions actually. Eventually more and more things were added, but I will say all the pins on the opposite side of the patches were haphazardly placed for a concert I VERY BADLY wanted to look good for LMFAOO (that's when the stars were added too! Fighting for my life on the car ride over speedrunning sewing and trying not to throw up about it AHAKHSKSHDK)

> Spike placement may be odd and I'd like to add more, but also I do frequently still carry around big heavy backpacks so I have to take that into consideration. Which is also why the wings have been bolted on. Those motherfuckers are NOT going anywhere LMFAO (has a really cool visual effect too!!)

> The material of the jacket itself (sort of a swishy windbreaker fabric) IS ABSOLUTE ASS TO WORK WITH. BY THE FUCKING WAY. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. I would NOT recommend it to anybody ESPECIALLY someone who is just starting to fuck around and find out. I literally am just sticking it out bc of the sentimental value this fucker has to me 😭😭😭

This jacket was my first plunge into customization and punk fashion, I didn't have a plan and still don't have one (and I think it kind of shows lmfao). I do worry that it's too soft and cutesy. Kind of the whole point for me, when it came to leaning heavy into punk, was to feel sharper, like I had some bite to me. I might be getting closer, but I think I'm still just kind of a silly guy LMAO. But, I do think in a way, esp as my first project, it represents me well -- where I started, what I loved before the beginning, what I tried desperately to be, what I still wish for, reuniting with the things I loved and embracing them in a brand new context. It's still an ongoing project too! So maybe as I keep growing, it'll grow alongside me, maybe finding that grit I've been striving for along the way.

#the big concert was mcr. btw. and cause it was a stadium no one got to see the glowy stars anyway LMFAOOOOO #for that concert i desperately wanted to have a big piece inspired by house of wolves on the back. #but i have never been able to get it right. #but like. it is actually my favorite mcr song. i REALLY wanted to do something transgender w it too. #like tell me i'm a bad man. i AM a bad man. bad man in the context of the song AND bad man as in. in the eyes of the observer. #i am just doing it poorly. on purpose. fuck with me about it!!!!! #also 'tell me i'm an angel' would compliment the wings as well #but as an artist i find i am way better at cartoons/characters than literally anything else. #ask me to do something cool w fonts/words beyond simply being legible and i'll throw up and cry. #also something i don't want to say outright but feel okay sharing in the tags is Why punk is so important to me #is cause i am just. so sensitive. i always have been. #but in a world that is actively becoming more hostile to exist in as a very visibly queer person #AND as a noticably autistic person too know like i think i have gotten to the point where people notice Something about me #(which. is good. bc autistic masking absolutely fucking ruined me so fucking bad.) #i need to get stronger. tougher. sharper. more dangerous. to exist as i am and to do so so boldy #i need to have the bite to back it up. i still feel like a prey animal but i have teeth i have claws. #going back to my church even for a moment has made me 10% eviler also. inspiring me to be the thing they fear. #so i think once i've rested i'm gonna go back to the drawing board for that transgender house of wolves backpiece. #diy punk #my projects