#I'm literally doing nothing all day--or doing deliberate things to get out and get exercise--and it is still AWFUL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thunderheadfred · 11 months

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Life stuff update!

Haven't posted about this first bit anywhere because... wow personal, but it's been a majority chunk of life lately.

Husband put in his notice at his current teaching job a while back. He's been working there for 8 years and is supposedly one of their most valued teachers, yet he barely takes home $100 more per paycheck than when he started. Plus our insurance is insane, taking most of his check every month whilst covering literally fucking nothing (we are still paying off my doctor-ordered biopsy!). PLUS his commute is fucking ludicrous - in the winter he regularly drives over 3 hours a day to a shit job that doesn't pay anything. I barely see him for a hour or two each day during the school year.

Bio clock is ticking, just saying. Never really had that baby-wanting impulse until very recently, and there was absolutely zero possibility of us starting a family while he's at this job. No money, no time, no medical support.

So. Bye. After talking to a therapist to help us through the plunge, we finally decided enough was enough.

He doesn't have another job lined up after summer school, so in August we have zero certain income. Neither off us is particularly panicked about this; the hiring wave for fall teaching positions has yet to happen, and there are several things he can do even if he can't find a full-time job at a local district.

What's looking most likely is actually that he'll juggle part-time jobs for a while. Subbing or other work at a district he's interested in will help him get a foot in the door, meanwhile an afternoon or weekend cashier job at the co-op down the street (where I used to work) has some distinct benefits. First off, he could WALK to work, and the co-op offers higher hourly rates and better promotional opportunities than his current "salaried" teaching job. Add on a big discount at the place where we buy most of our groceries anyway...

Anyway. That's been a lot.

Meanwhile I've been doing the housewife thing. Which actually entails more than just "chores" - I've been doing a huuuuge amount of work on my mental and physical health. I've lost 40 pounds (with 60+ to go) and have completely changed my eating, which has helped immeasurably with CFS, Depression, and life in general. I've started socializing again after years of serious, life-altering anxiety. Basically, I'm getting my life back. Or maybe getting my life for the first time? I was so mentally ill for so long that this really feels like the first time I've been genuinely balanced... maybe ever?

Whether that new peace of mind encourages me back into fandom I have no idea. Fandom social mores seem to have shifted over the years. Maybe it's just the glimpses I see now and then, but the Internet as a whole doesn't seem too anonymous or even like... baseline compassionate for anyone anymore. That's probably a matter of what you make of it, but even so, I'd be lying if I said spending my time in fandom spaces hasn't lost most of its personal appeal. I've been much happier offline, so that's where I've been. I do miss my friends, and I wish they lived down the street and not inside the scary computron. It'd be great to write again, but my interest in fandom work might be over. I'll never say never, but right now I just don't see it. Maybe someday I finally get back into the habit; but it's gonna happen in its own time if it does.

Lately I've been working on my YouTube thing, though where that'll end up nobody knows. It's certainly not a serious money-making prospect, nor am I aiming to make it one. YouTube actually scares the ever-loving shit out of me, so it's pretty much a deliberate mental health exercise. My whole attitude toward it has been "stress less, make more." So I treat it kind of like a journal of the nail shit that has taken over my life (lolllll), and a chance to pay forward all the relaxation I've gotten over the years watching Nail YouTube. It'd be nice if I could eventually have enough subs to maybe pay for some nail supplies or get some free PR or something, but that's about as ambitious as I get.

Okay my fingers are tired

love you byyyyyeeeeeeeeee

#personal #life update

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msclaritea · 3 years

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A very important history lesson and why we have to fight back this time.

A lot of people saw the White Tears Death March at Michigan's capitol & said: "If black people did that..."

"Some mentioned Reagan's gun control law after '67 Panthers protest But there are many historical examples of white people freaking out when blacks protested.

(A thread)

After the Not-So-Civil War, this happened ALL THE TIME.

Remember, the states that got their asses kicked were not automatically allowed back into the Union. Southern white supremacists were so scared when blacks exercised their new right to vote that they started a race war.

In 1866, La. reconvened its Constitutional Convention because Democrats were trying to stop blacks from voting. (This was before conservative Southern "states rights" advocates switched became Republican. We'll get to that)

Of course, black people marched (but not like that).

When the black people showed up, a group of white supremacists (Y'all call them "Confederates now — same thing) was waiting on them and opened fire.

To be fair, the black ppl weren't actually protesting, per se when the racists opened fire. They were doing something much worse:

They were dancing and playing music.

Y'all, those racist bastards opened fire on a MARCHING BAND.

Then this happened:

Partly because of the New Orleans Massacre, Congress passed the First Reconstruction Act. Black Louisianans were guaranteed the right to vote but the act did something else that would make the racists even madder.

It took away the right to vote for any ex-Confederate.

If you think this was bad, Georgia was even worse.

Ga. holds the distinction of being the only state that was so racist that we had to kick the ENTIRE STATE out of America.

Seriously, that happened. And it was partly because of the Camilla Massacre.

First, you gotta remember that blacks damn near outnumbered whites in Georgia. So, after they got the right to vote, 33 black ppl were elected to the state legislature.

Wypipo wasn't having that shit.

So the white legislators called their homeboys up (Y'all call them the KKK)

The KKK ran the DULY ELECTED "Original 33" out of office.

Then the Ga. Supreme Court ruled that black people were technically citizens, but the Ga. laws were only meant for white people, so... Black ppl, y'all need to go somewhere with that "equality" shit.*

*I'm paraphrasing

A week after they ousted the Original 33, one of the (did I mentioned DULY ELECTED) legislators organized 200-300 blacks & marched from Albany to Camilla to hold a rally in the town square

When they got to Mitchell County, whites waiting in storefronts and on roofs, opened fire

The Camilla Massacre got Georgia kicked BACK OUT of the Union and the state had to be readmitted for a second time in 1870 after it seated SOME of the Original 33.

Why not all?

Well, 1/4 of the Original 33 were murdered or attacked.

On October 25, 1870, 2,000 black people gathered at a rally in Eutaw, Ala. right before the Nov. election. The crowd wanted to prove they weren't of white racists.

Why would they be scared?

Well, in March, 30 masked white men had lynched James Martin, a black Republican.

It happened again in July, but they didn't just kill Gillford Coleman, they cut his body up into pieces. The racists were afraid Eutaw Co. blacks would help elect a Republican Gov. liked they helped Grant win the county by 2000 votes the 1868 election,

Klansman rode into town and opened fire on adults and children and promised to do it again if Black people voted.

The tactic worked.

Instead of Republicans winning, the county by 2000 votes, the Democrat Governor won by 43 votes.

That was lame compared to the Battle of Liberty Place.

Remember when this whole "Confederate Statue" thing first started a couple of years ago? It was partly about a monument to the Battle of Liberty Place, when a whole white supremacist army overthrew the Louisiana gvt.

In 18 months a white supremacist ARMY called the "white league" (racists are notoriously bad for coming up with nicknames) killed hundreds of Black voters in Colfax, New Orleans, Coushatta & Opelousas

This is what led to the passage of the 2nd Ku Klux Klan Act

(Side note: The Colfax Massacre also resulted in a Supreme Court Case, which was the first time the Supreme Court said the Second Amendment guaranteed individual citizens the right to own guns)

A lot of Black folks weren't having this shit. So they formed their own armies.

In SC, the KKK and other Dollar Tree brand racist groups were killing Blacks in the lead up to the 1876 election. In Ellenton, over 100 black voters were murdered.

But it wasn't just about politics. White people HATED when blacks told them what to do.

You gotta remember, most southern whites were Confederates, so during Reconstruction military occupation, a lot of the soldiers were black.

On July 4, 1876, in Hamburg, the town next to Ellenton, SC, a group of black national guardsmen were drilling while black people watched

A group of these Dollar Tree white soldiers called the "Red Shirts" came through trying to flex and the Black Guardsmen told them to wait to pass until they finished.

Yall know those former whip crackers weren't having that.

A white judge told the Red Shirts that they could take the black NATIONAL GUARDSMEN's guns, they found the black militia and began opening fire.

94 white men were indicted.

0 were convicted

The leader of the Hamburg Massacre?

He went on to serve 24 years in the US Senate

Again, it wasn't just about stopping black people from voting.

In 1887, 10,000 black workers went on strike and started forming a union on La sugar plantations.

So the plantation owners hired the KKK to come in and kill the organizers. Then, it became any black person.

No one knows how many were killed but the official number is "enough"

Louisiana sugar plantations wouldn't organize again for another 50 years.

On July 3, 1919, a group of black Buffalo Soldiers went to Bisbee, Ari. Now, this may have been before cookouts were invented, because the soldiers had planned to march in the parade the next day.

Bisbee's white sheriff told the black soldiers that they couldn't walk around with their guns. When the police officers tried to disarm the Buffalo Soldiers, the refused. So they deputized all the white men in town to disarm the negroes

The soldiers were like: "Fuck y'all lil' parade, then," and were preparing to leave when one of the deputies was like: "You can't talk to a white man like that."

He opened fire.

The other deputies did, too.

An investigation would later reveal that it was planned.

The Sherriff and others "had planned deliberately to aggravate the negro troopers so that they would furnish an excuse for police and deputy sheriffs to shoot them down."

No word on the cookout.

Later that same year, black cotton sharecroppers met at a church in Elaine, Ark. They were trying to organize to get better prices but white farmers showed up. After an exchange of gunfire, a white man ended up dead.

The rumor spread that there was a black coup in Elaine

Whites from all across the South came to Elaine to literally hunt Black ppl. No one still knows how many were killed. Estimates range up to 250. You know how they finally ended it?

Federal troops arrived...

And arrested all the black people who were left alive.

In 1945, 19 black Air Force fighter pilots were arrested for trying to integrate an all-white officers club at an Indiana Airbase. 17 more showed up. They were arrested. 25 more showed up the next night, and were arrested.

Segregation was technically against military rule

So the Air Force gathered all 101 black airmen in a room & offered a deal: All they had to do is sign a paper saying they agree to the segregation or,

Face arrest for violating a direct order, which was technically punishable by death.

All 101 refused.

They were all arrested

Historically, the white "patriots" who love the flag and the troops treated black soldiers like they all took a knee before an NFL game.

In August 1947, Chicago residents grew angry when they realized the gov't was giving homes to Black veterans in the white Fernwood Park area

The day after the families moved in, on August13, the whites attacked

For 3 days, as many as 5,000 white rioters pulled Black people out of cars and beat them. They threw rocks at the homes and smashed windows. Then they started setting fires.

The police did nothing.

In 1949, black Chicago union stewards assembled went to a meeting. There were white people at the meeting, too. The meeting was even in the home of a white couple, but a rumor had already been circulating that black people were planning to buy a house in the white neighborhood.

By the end of the meeting, hundreds of whites were outside.

This one lasted 5 days.

An estimated 10,000 white rioters took part in the Englewood riot.

Police did nothing to stop it.

Remember when MLK wrote about "white moderates" in the Letter from a Birmingham Jail?" Well, those protests were partially successful.

On May 11, 1963 black protesters were celebrating. The city had decided to desegregate water fountains, lunch counters, retail stores...

On May 11, 1963, the KKK was also planning a march in Bham because...you know.

Just before 11 am, a uniformed Bham police officer got out of his car and put a package on the porch of a small house.

It was dynamite.

It exploded.

A few minutes later, another bigger bomb at the AG Gaston motel.

Everyone knows about the 16th St. church bombing in Birmingham, but few people know that there were more than FIFTY bombings in "Bombingham" during the Civil rights era

One section of town was bombed so often it's still called "Dynamite Hill."

Of course, the KKK marched anyway.

Oh, and that bombed house belonged to A.D. King, Martin Luther King's brother.

King had left town a few hours earlier...

After checking out of the AG Gaston Hotel

(Fun fact: Angela Davis and Condoleeza Rice grew up around the corner from each other in Dynamite Hill)

On February 5, 1968, black students from SC State tried to integrate a bowling alley. They were kicked out, but this time, the police were waiting to beat protesters.

But students kept showing up. So the governor called the state troopers and the National Guard.

On Feb. 8, while attempting to put out a bonfire, the Troopers opened fire on 200 protesters, shooting dozens of black students and protesters.

1 high school student was killed and 2 SCSU students. Police said they thought the students were shooting,

They weren't

One person was arrested, convicted and served time, Cleveland Sellers...

A student.

You might know his son @Bakari_Sellers

In March, 1970, in Lamar SC, a mob of angry white people attacked black protesters. Well... these protesters were kinda young and they were protesting in a weird way:

They were going to school.

A judge had ordered the school district to integrate

There are so many more examples

Check out "Ax Handle Saturday" in Jacksonville, Fla.

Read about when Fannie Lou Hamer and the Mississippi Freedom Democrats showed up at the '64 convention

The Freedom Riders

Bloody Sunday in Selma

Art Bacon in Talladega

So when white people show up to protests angry and outspoken, and nothing happens, you don't have to wonder what would happen if black people did that,

Just remember what happened when black people just SHOWED UP

Not if...

WHEN."

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