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thatdeaffeel · 1 year

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I have heard that some people in the Deaf community are opposed to research and efforts to restore or provide hearing to deaf people. Is this true? And if so, can you share some of the reasonings?

Sure.

I want to get a few things out of the way first.

First off let's acknowledge that being deaf and being a part of the deaf community are two different things. You do not need to be deaf to be part of the community, such as people who are raised in it like coda (child of deaf adult), or people who refuse classification as deaf because of their own severity or other personal reasons (hoh, single side deafness, partial deafness, apd, etc. the list is long and you are valid in however you choose to self-identity when experiencing hearing differences).

Second, it's always a good idea to remind everyone that we are not a monolith, there are as many deaf opinions as there are deaf people, and the same goes for the Big D. We don't agree on everything, there are deaf right-wing and deaf left-wing and everything in between. What you're going to read is the opinion of a singular deaf person. Please do not be fooled into believing that I am a source of authority nor that I speak for anyone other than myself. I am not an elected representative. I am often wrong, open and happy to be corrected in reblogs and replies. I'm going to be focussing on the UK, specifically because I am British and it's the experience and knowledge that I have, for people in other countries things will differ, and I respect and would welcome additions in the reblogs and replies! I could give a wider overview of global deaf society BUT it will be fractured and through the lens of my personal understanding as a mainstreamed British person and I really do not want to be yet another coloniser speaking for everyone, it's just not who I am.

Third, while the deaf community often restructure conversation around hearing differences as deaf gain it's a little difficult to talk using terminology outsiders and others don't understand so I will be saying hearing loss and other such things, but know that if you are in the deaf community I don't at all think you have lost anything, please don't take offence to this. As such, I'm not going to play word games, when I say deaf community I refer to big D and when I say deaf I refer to little d as the condition, that is going to continue going forward. It minimizes mistakes and prevents me from having to have lowercase characters at sentence starts, and I hope I can be forgiven. I understand the importance of the difference between the two and I know why it's done in context but re-adding that context into every conversation is at best tiring, and at worst gets in the way of the argument.

Okay so with that out of the way we have to do even more preparation (i am so sorry) by breaking down the question because the phrase, "people in the Deaf community are opposed to research and efforts to restore or provide hearing to deaf people" is NEBLOUS in the extreme.

The simple part of it, the essence of the question, about whether the deaf community is against the concept of a "cure" is very true, for the most part, the deaf community are against the concept of a cure because there is no cure for deafness. To ask for one is eugenics, to stop deafness you must stop deaf people from being born or created, neither of which is reasonably practicable without the usage of eugenics. Some people are born deaf and for them, a faculty of hearing can never be created by any means, these people cannot be left out of the conversation nor society as a whole. We WILL NOT be tolerating or condoning eugenics in this, if I see it, you will be forever blocked. Being deaf is a natural state for a lot of people, some born to it, others through accident or as the after-effect of illness. Whether or not deafness is a medical condition is a totally different question and whether there is anything to "restore" in the first place is an even bigger question that is not at all about the semantics of language and culture but of morality itself.

We have to start with a little history because in broad strokes deaf people have been the target of deeply ableist segregation for as long as we have existed. For the history of the first deaf school in my country please visit history-of-place for much more detail than I will add here. To keep it short and essential, through segregation came culture; deaf people found each other. Through shared language and experience a community blossomed and eventually, its own sets of values and beliefs.

A culture was formed as a response to ableism and segregation. Instead of being separated and abandoned, deaf people came together to support one another and find ways to exist fully as ourselves. We created a community so that when people were outcast or cast off from "normal" (hearing) society they had a place to call home, a place they can live and thrive.

Some of the values and beliefs that are inherent to deaf culture are that hearing loss is not a loss at all, it is the entryway to an entirely new way of life, one that is as rich, fulfilling, interesting and valuable, as any other. They believe, rightly so, that their culture is vital to the way of life for deaf people and that it should be protected, but also that the definition of being hearing as normal is a dangerous and false one. Many people are born without the required hardware to be able to hear and to create a society that is completely intolerant of deaf people is to create a society where someone is permanently forced to perform to fit in, they are at a permanent disadvantage when forced to be oral. Without the deaf community, that person will always feel left out, stuck, different and othered.

To a lot of people in the deaf community, the concept of "curing" deafness is deeply offensive. To them, it is not an affliction that should be pitied or altered, it is a simple fact of their body that they embrace, because it is a cultural signifier. They are deaf, they belong to the deaf community, and the deaf community is not something that should be "cured" out of society.

At the root of it all is the belief that people who are deaf should have the choice not to be abandoned by society, and that they should have a place to live, a place to exist. That they should not have to modify their body in order to belong. It is a belief centred on self-autonomy, which is where the moral quandary comes in.

You can see that this sits in pretty stark contrast to mainstream society, where people view deafness as a limiting disability, that to be deaf is to lose your capacity to function in society. This belief is an ableist one. It's similar to the autism community, mainstream society forces us, autistic people, to play pretend and to defer to their culture in order to fit in, they see as us less, as other. Inside autistic society and culture, we don't see ourselves as other, or as less than. We are just ourselves. We think differently to the mainstream and that is in no way a bad thing, it is JUST different.

To get you to see the deaf side of your question for a second, imagine we restructure it to being about an autistic person.

"I have heard that some people in the Autistic community are opposed to research and efforts to restore or provide neurotypical responses to autistic people."

You're starting from the assumption that there is anything to be restored.

Your position with this question is the assumption that hearing is a default when we know that there are a great many types of deafness, some of which that we are born into and that there is no meaningful medical way to create hearing for that person where it would otherwise have never existed in the first place. There is an oft-touted "cure" called the cochlear implant, but if you haven't done research on it yet, you should. The implant is very often MORE disabling than learning sign and joining deaf society, in part because it is an imperfect version of hearing but also because it represents a choice made FOR someone. Adult and young adult adopters of the implant more often than not reject it for the burdensome unintelligible noise generator that it is, due to far too few frequencies and other limitations of the device that we won't get into here. The best time to get an implant is as a child, long and far before the child will have the social awareness of the deaf community or the fulfilling life they can lead inside it, so the best time to get the best use out of the implant is when the child is at their least capable of deciding for themselves.

For a lot of the deaf community this position, that there is something to "cure" is deeply offensive.

As a trans person, I understand to the bottom of my being that people are not necessarily born who they will be when they grow up and that our starting configuration has nothing to do with who or what we are. The deaf community believes this too, by and large.

So it comes down to a moral question. Do you mainstream and force yourself away from a culture you can engage in, forever isolating yourself in a speaking society where you will have limited and othered status, or do you embrace and embed yourself into a subculture where you will be treated as an equal but where you are segregated, externally subjected to ableism and have to learn to interface with the speaking world.

It's a hard decision, right? It's WORSE when you're deciding on behalf of someone else, especially a child. See, most medical interventions in deafness are done on behalf of children, often babies, and they are the start of a pathway, toward the acceptance of the deaf community as a valid, genuine culture, or away and acceptance of a medical condition that can be treated so you can maintain your position in mainstream society no matter how tenuous that position may be.

Some inside the deaf community look at outcomes, some think any procedure at all is bad, some think what can be cured should be cured, and others still HATE the concept of a "cure" at all. I said before there are as many positions on this as there are deaf people and I stand by it.

Personally? I take the view that children who are deaf should be put in deaf schools, should learn the sign of their country, in my case bsl, should be taught to interface with hearing society and should get all the healthcare to ensure their continued existence without pain, suffering or undue harm. I believe that all deferrable interventions SHOULD BE DEFERRED, that they, the deaf person, as an individual, with all the rights and knowledge available of the communities they are choosing to belong to, should be the person to decide on how they are treated and what impact it will have. I have no stance on emergent care, we do what we can to stop people from dying.

I would not choose a cochlear implant for my child, I would educate them and let them choose for themselves. Constructing an ear out of cartilage? I let the child choose. Where possible, I let someone choose for themselves. Bodily autonomy is the most important thing to me.

I hope this helped. Your question is complex because it treats a cultural, ethical and moral question as a purely medical one, which in itself, makes it hard to answer.

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deaf-bakugou · 3 months

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Fully understanding that it is not your job to educate every single hearing person that wants to ask you questions about being deaf/hoh, I totally accept if you don't have the time or energy to respond to my question. If that's the case, I hope you have a great day! I found your blog via you being credited on the fic A Soul's Challenge because I also love the deaf Bakugo trope!

That being said, I'm currently writing an original story where I've decided to include a deaf/hoh character and I'm wondering if you would be able to point me in the direction of any educational materials I can use to write him correctly and respectfully? Or, if nothing else, any of your favorite Bakugo fanfictions that treat his deafness particularly well that I can learn from?

(Okay, I may also just be fishing for fic recs because, well, I do love me the blastie boi)

If you're up to it, I'd be happy to have a proper conversation via DMs! Thanks for your attention either way!

Hey! I'm sorry for the probably late reply. My messages... never tell me when I have them. (I'm told it is a common problem) I am more than happy to chat with you via dm's to help provide information. But let me say now, there is no one solid way to write your character correctly. It will vastly depend on a number of factors. If you are looking for a fun resource book I can recommend a book titled "for hearing people only"

But even this is just a general guide. (I have this book and I am Deaf myself. But not all Deaf experiences are the same. So it was still useful for me)

Factors to consider for you character include,

Us this a fantasy world or a real world. Do their parents know sign language. Do they know sign language? Do hearing aids or cochlear exist in your world? Did they attend a Deaf institute, were the mainstreamed, or fully homeschooled? This plus more factors into your portrayal just to begin. But I can tell you right now, if your Deaf person cannot hear well enough to communicate verbally, do not give them some magical aid that allows them to suddenly communicate perfectly. That just erases the fact that hearing loss IS a disability. (Though we prefer not to call it that. It is a culture.) But in the context here as a hearing person you must be aware of the things that it affects and that you can't magic them away or you will be written off as bad rep. Read through my blog there is a variety of writing advice there. Also, if you can get a copy, I enjoyed this fantasy story of a Deaf medieval character,

It was given to me by my ASL teacher when I despaired over reading material that understood what I was going through. (Bless her) a fascinating look into what it might be like in a fantasy setting. Look for art and stories by Deaf people and read it, look at it. Try to understand the grief and the pain and the struggle and the joy and the delay. Then when you write a scene, ask someone in the community, preferably who is similar to the circumstances you are writing, read over it and give feedback. I've studied Deafness from a medical, psychological, governmental and cultural angle. I know a lot. But not everything.

I have a Deaf Bakugou fic rec list somewhere on my page. If I find it I will reblog it again. But I haven't read any of the current stuff. I'm a year behind! Check out my fic on Ao3 though if you want an insight for disasters! (In America lol)

If anyone wants to send me current deaf bakugou fics please do! I will read and promo some! I would like to see how it has changed in the past year and what's going on!

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yellow-lemon-lime · 5 months

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Hi I hope this isn't rude to ask, but I saw on a post that you deal with self blame delusions? And well I wanted advice on how to help someone cope with that. Because my sister has this idea (tbh I'm hesitant to call it a delusion since she has her own logic for believing it which I can understand even tho it's great logic) that she is the sole cause of everything wrong in my life, including that I'm chronically ill*. Which is just not the case at all?

*I have me/cfs, one of the theories is that it's essentially long mono, since my sister had mono once she thinks she gave it to me which caused me to get cfs and cause my chronic illness. But since I was asymptomatic and only know I had mono at all is because of biomarkers we don't even know when I had it so she might not even given it to me in the first place.

(sorry if this is over stepping a boundary or something, but she doesn't want to do therapy and I don't know what else to do...)

Hi @skydemonizark Sorry for the late reply, I was out with my husband, and we just recently got home. Don't worry, your question is neither rude, nor stupid to ask. I am more than happy to answer any question, one might have about a lived experience with delusions, psychosis or schizophrenia in general.

I will preface this by saying, that this is only my experience with delusions and schizophrenia. Others may have totally different experiences, and that's okay, because even though, delusions (and schizophrenia) follow general rules. How we experience the symptoms are different for each person.

I will also say, that I am not a licensed therapist, psychologist or psyciatrist. Again this is solely based on my lived experience. I strongly advice anyone who is dealing with a medical problem - whether it is somatic or psychological, that they contact a professional or in emergency cases dial 911/112.

Now in order to answer your question. It's important to know what a delusion is and isn't. A delusion is a belief in the patient, that is neither naturally and/or culturally possible. F.x. Believing that Jesus is the son of God, is not a delusion, because many people believe that, so that is culturally acceptable. Believing that your neighbor is Jesus himself, would be a delusion, because only you believe that, nobody else does, and especially not your neighbor.

I cannot say whether your sister's belief IS a delusion, but I know from my own experience that logic is a huge part of delusions, but it's a twisted kind of logic.

Let me give you an example with one of my own delusions: I got a job at the hearing aid center, at my local hospital. When I started working there. The waiting time for new users was approximately 6 months to 1 year. When I had been there for a while, the waiting time had skyrocketed to over 2 years. Now my delusional logic, told me, it must be because of me, right? It happens just as I start working there. How could it not be my fault? So I felt constant guilt about making things hard for deaf/hoh people in my town. And please be noted, that I had no idea that it was a delusion. I wasn't diagnosed at the time, I wasn't even being evaluated. So I had to rely on my own twisted logic, with this delusion as well as the other delusions I had. Sometimes I doubted my logic, but for me it was like having two logics. One wasn't more right than the other.

When I did get the diagnosis, and started on medication and therapy, I noticed a change in my way of thinking about my blame about the waiting time. I am fully aware that medication and/or therapy isn't for everyone. We are all different. But for me, both things were essential to getting better. Antipsychotics, didn't remove my delusions, but they sort of prevented the anxiety I got from those delusions. But I still needed to fix my twisted logic. At the time I got my diagnosis, I hadn't been working at the hearing aid center for a good month (I was literally forced to quit just before I got my diagnosis) Time went by and I didn't have the delusion-induced anxiety anymore, but I still had the belief that the increased waiting time was my fault. One day I was sitting with my therapist, and we were talking about big and small, and I mentioned the delusion, like I had done a few times before. For some reason, I also mentioned, that, oh there was this one audiologist who had mentioned, that the hearing aid center had let off a huge portion of the workers there, and my therapist asked me: "Don't you think, that could be why the waiting times increased?" And I gave it a thought, and thought, maybe my therapist is right.

You're telling me, that your sister doesn't want to do therapy, and I 100 % respect that. Therapy should be done willingly, and only in the event that a person is in danger to themselves or others, should forced therapy be even considered.

I would try mainly 2 things. One thing would be what my therapist did to me, and try to find counter-logic to the delusional logic. Do be adviced that it may not necessary work, if the person is so in deep with their delusion, that no amount of outside counter-logic can get through. The one thing I strongly advice against with any delusions, is either agreeing with the person, or saying to the person that they must be crazy or something. Both things can be very detrimental to the persons mental wellbeing.

The second thing I would try to do, is to switch the whole agenda. Yeah it sucks that you both got ME/CFS, even if you personally are asymptomatic. Instead of focusing on the "why?" or "who?" try focusing on the "how?" Don't ask yourselves, why did you both get this? Who is to blame? Instead ask yourselves, "How can we manage the symptoms we may have, and how can we support each other in living with this illness?" and I believe that could go for anything, that she, you, or a third person may struggle with. Someone may have asked. "Why did this happen to me?" They may never get an answer. So they should instead ask "How do I get going from here?"

I also advice you to take care of yourself, eat a varied diet, get plenty of hydration, exercise to the point that you are able to. Get plenty of sleep. If you take medication for anything, keep taking that. Also be a little selfish, and buy yourself chocolate or something once in a while. And in any case you start feeling, that something is wrong, mentally or somatic. Don't hesitate to contact a medical professional.

I hope my answer gave some insight, although it's just one experience. I invite any person with schizo-spec illness/psychosis or delusion, or possible mental health professional (if there are any on tumblr) who might be reading this to give their insight and opinion. I wish you and your sister and the rest of everyone around you, a pleasant and carefree day

#Schizophrenia #Delusions #Ask

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marmorafarms · 10 months

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Words from a hard of hearing person! (aka ME)

I'm hoh, and I know some ASL to help me get by when I'm with d/Deaf or other hoh people!!!

Because people tend to draw Link signing, I need to tell anyone NOT FLUENT IN ASL (or other sign languages) something VERY IMPORTANT.

The grammar is in the face!!! Grammar and tone are IN THE FACE. Eyebrow movements actually tell you a lot about what is being said. So, when you draw Link signing, look into the facial expression that goes with the sign! I might try and draw something to highlight this and just give an example.

Also, just a fun fact, grammatical structure is different too! An example:

English: Hi! My name is Emma, what's your name?

ASL: Hi! My name Emma. Your name what?

I see people using ASL a lot for his signs, so DON'T GIVE LINK A FLAT EXPRESSION WHEN SIGNING. He needs to be expressive!

Also, d/Deaf and hoh people are very descriptive! This is more cultural and not necessarily needed, but we tend to be very blunt and ask lots of questions or give comments that the hearing community finds rude. So if you want to throw that in as well, that would be cool!

Also, a lot of people have sign names. These can ONLY BE GIVEN BY A d/DEAF PERSON. Hearing people CANNOT GIVE THESE. Or at least in my community this is true, I can't speak for every single community out there. It might be fun to give Link, Sidon, Yona, Zelda, etc. sign names! They're often based on attributes. Some people have a name that's "cat" or "curly hair" and things like that. It's faster than fingerspelling, and it's unique to the individual so it's often easier to know exactly who you're talking about!

Anyway, thought I'd share.

Happy drawing!!!

#loz #totk #totk link #deaf link #Deaf link #tears of the kingdom

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margoteve · 1 year

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Started with a Kiss - Chapter 1

Rating of the chapter: Teen and Up

Rating of the story: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationship: Donnie x OC (Kara), mentions of others.

Summary:

4 years after Krang's attempt at invading Earth the turtles got a pretty good hang on this whole hero thing. Then a cheeky hacker appears to flip their lives upside down, especially Donatello's.

A/N: Finally the first chapter of the madness I have been writing since November. Kara and Cheryl are HoH/Deaf characters. The dialogue in sharp brackets <> is a conversation done in sign. I am looking for a sensitivity reader btw if anyone wants to help out. I added lines to help with POV switching within the chapter. Also English is my 2nd language and I'm kind of blind to my own mistakes, apologies there. I'm looking for Beta Reader to help me out when I mess up with my plot continuity btw. At the beginning, we also have a villain type who uses 'deaf' as a slur. If anyone wants to be on a tag list for future chapters hmu.

AO3 LINK or read below

The deep bass of the faraway music resonated within her bones with each step. The platform pumps clicked over the floor as she confidently headed to her destination. Two brawny bodyguards stopped her and scanned her at the door. She noted their leering glances at her outfit but all she did was narrow her eyes. Better to look at her boobs than her face. She squeezed the suitcase she had in her hand tighter waiting to be given all clear. These assholes were taking their time. She turned around for them and they finally gave her all clear. The door was pushed open and she walked inside.

“Ah, mademoiselle!” An elderly man, surrounded by even more bodyguards, called to her from the couch. “We were expecting you! Please, sit!” He shouted. He spoke with a thick French accent.

When she didn’t move, he gestured to one of his men to guide her through the spacious office. A large window served as one of the walls, separating them from the noise and vibrations of the nightclub. The decor was modern, minimalistic, all black, silver and some white.

“Pity, so pretty but as deaf as a jar,” the French men muttered.

She didn’t react to his voice. She simply set the suitcase on the table and pulled out a slick black phone next to it. Then she clicked the dial and sat down on the sofa across from the client. She crossed her legs and pulled out her own phone, absorbed in whatever was on it.

“ Monsieur Archambault! A pleasure to be doing business with you,” a robotic voice spoke in monotone French from the device. “As soon as the agreed amount will make its way to the account I am forwarding you now the contents of the suitcase shall be yours.”

“Ah, Hoax, but I haven’t- ” Archambault started saying but his own device vibrated and he carefully looked at his screen. His bank app was open on the money transfer page with a number ready to go.

“ I’d hurry Monsieur, the message is on autodestruct and then you won’t get another chance,” Hoax instructed further.

The French man quickly inputted the amount and clicked send.

You’re a difficult person to negotiate with,” he said.

“ Part of the job, I believe,” the disembodied voice from the phone replied.

There was a tense moment where no one spoke a word and only the sound in the room was that of texting coming from the girl.

Suddenly the suitcase clicked and the lock opened. The lid lifted on its own revealing a velvet gray inside with a single microchip encased in a protective, see-through casing.

“This concludes our-”

Suddenly the room burst from the ceiling. The bodyguards grabbed their boss, hauling him to the door.

“The suitcase!!” Archambault yelled. “Get the suitcase, you idiots!”

Before they could get too far, four large shadows started taking down all the armed bodyguards. Bullets started flying. Men were screaming, the Frenchman being the loudest. The girl made the wise decision and slipped under the table and curled into a ball hoping to get through the mayhem. She didn’t know how long she was under there but the vibrations ceased after a while. And then the table has been ripped from over her.

______________________________

The tip was clear. Tonight at Mon Petite, a nightclub owned by a businessman, Mylan Archambault, a transaction was going to take place between the owner and an elusive computer genius H0AX. The informant was certain that whatever was being traded would be very dangerous. Too dangerous.

Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo were notified by the police and asked for assistance in arresting Archambault and if possible - the hacker. The latter was an elusive figure but one that could stir troubles. And also provide an immense amount of evidence.

Donnie was familiar with H0AX, there were stories on the Dark Web even there he seemed to be almost a myth. He was really good. So good, that even Donnie was jealous of some of his achievements. H0AX had no alliance, worked for the highest bidder dancing to his own moral drum and rarely surfaced. One was known, whatever H0AX was selling would cause real mayhem. That usually was the case.

Archambault would be a cherry on top of that - he has been getting more active in the criminal underworld and the brothers were eager to get rid of him.

Speed was the key. They hit the joint fast and hard before the police got in. They would have their birds tied up neatly to pick up later.

“Look for the microchip!” Donnie called scanning the room.

He noticed something, a movement under the coffee table. Slowly, he approached. He aimed the tip of his bō and with a quick, snap of a movement overturned the table sending it flying. Then he froze.

Under the table, curled up and shivering was a young woman. Long, red hair, thick, flashy makeup and a yellow, skimpy combo of a skirt and a spaghetti strap front tied top that revealed more of her deep dark brown skin than covered. She looked up and her brown eyes widened. Surprisingly, she didn’t scream. Yet.

He quickly crouched down. She was so tiny. His goggles estimated her height to be about 4’10”. 2 feet difference. She must have been terrified of him towering over her like that.

“Um, hi?” He waved. “I won’t hurt you.” He raised his hands up.

Then she signed in response. <Who are you?>

Oh. Donnie quickly went over his memory of ASL and responded. <That’s a bit complicated.>

Despite him not exactly answering her, she relaxed a little. It was always better to be able to understand the giant monster that attacked from the shadow. She watched him curiously.

<I’m Donatello, Donnie.> He fingerspelled his name carefully, going by his memory of the language as he didn't have many opportunities to practice. He was also hoping that despite the difference in fingers number she got it as he introduced himself. <These are my brothers - Raph, Leo and> he paused looking around for Mikey.

The elder brothers were intently watching the whole exchange. It’s been a while since a civilian saw them. There was tension among them.

Suddenly the youngest turtle popped up from behind the overturned desk. “Found it! Oh.” Mikey noted the standstill in the room and the girl. “Hey~” He waved with a flirty smile.

<That’s Mikey.> Donnie finished the introductions.

She looked a bit confused as he fingerspelled his brothers' names. Yup, definitely a bit of a barrier.

Still, she waved shyly at them. <I’m Clara.> She returned the favor.

“Ask her what’s she been doing here?” Leo prompted his brother.

Donnie nodded and repeated the question. Clara sniffled and hugged herself, rubbing her arms. Then she slowly told them her tale.

She was a student, trying to get by and got the job of delivering a suitcase to the club. The employer was anonymous but the pay was so good she couldn’t just pass it up. She had bills and debt to pay off.

<I- I didn’t know> Her hands were shaking, making the sentences jumbled as she continued. <This- this all happened so- so fast>

<It’s okay,> Donnie tried to comfort her while Raph was scowling in the shadows. He wasn’t exactly buying that story.

“Let’s just tie her up with the others. There’s no way she could be that dumb,” he scoffed.

“Raph-” Donnie tried to protest.

“Whoa, bro, come on, look at the chick,” Mikey came to the rescue. “She doesn’t look like a criminal, does she?”

Raph glared in response. He didn’t buy that.

“We don’t have time for this. The police will be here soon. Just let her go,” Leo finally decided. “Make sure she doesn’t talk about us, though.”

Donnie relayed that information with an apologetic smile. <I’ll be monitoring social media,> he added to that. <So, you know, we’ll know if it was you. But you’re free to go.>

She smiled brightly. Then she gestured for Donnie to lean down, which he did, and then, much to the shock of everyone, she kissed his cheek, getting a tiny bit onto the corner of his mouth.

<Thank you,> she signed and then, using the opportunity of everyone’s shock, ran.

Mikey was the first to break the shock. “Dude! If that’s how you get girls I need to learn that hand language!”

The eldest brothers groaned, shaking their heads while Donnie touched his cheek, still deeply confused.

The girl ran, in the hallways, she kicked off the pumps and as she got outside, barely missed the cops. In a trash can, she threw her phone. She dove into the metro station and into the public toilet. It was gross but all she had to do was a quick wardrobe change. From a backpack she hid there she pulled out a hoodie and a pair of jeans and trainers. Next off went the fake boobs and then the red wig revealing green cornrows. Then makeup, a thin layer or clear, foil-like mask lined with golden circuits and the contact lenses revealing her green eyes. She reapplied a fresh gel mask, covering it up with some foundation and powder. She then put on glasses and threw on the hood. Exiting the bathroom was a very different person.

She hunched and headed to catch her train.

______________________________________

"The power and beauty of physical laws is that they apply everywhere, whether or not you choose to believe in them. In other words, after the laws of physics, everything else is an opinion," the professor said loudly. "Great words by a great man! Who can tell me his name?"

While the lecture was going around her, Kara was sketching in her notebook. She turned off her hearing aids as soon as she heard the quote from Neil deGrasse Tyson. In her opinion, he was a condescending jerk who thought he was the smartest man in the world because he got famous. Therefore not worth her time. Her focus could be directed elsewhere. She was planning on dropping that class as soon as she could if the professor thought he was so great.

Suddenly a pencil came into her view, tapping the paper. Kara looked up at the owner of the said pencil.

<What is that?> Cheryl, her best friend since childhood and ASL translator asked.

The entire page consisted of sketches of Donnie. The other page was shared by Raph and Leo.

Cheryl tilted her head.

Kara looked at her and her shoulders moved in a sigh. It was a couple of days after the events at Mon Petite. And the only one who knew about it was the young woman next to her because they happened to have been childhood friends.

she replied.

<Like actors?> Cheryl frowned. Was someone filming a live-action with practical effects?

<No,> Kara replied, rolling her eyes. <I’ll tell you later.> She tried going back to shading her a Donnie-sketch though keeping half attention at Cheryl.

<Sure, hope you don’t plan on dating any of them, they kinda ugh,> her friend joked.

<Your face is ‘ugh’,> Kara retorted.

<So, who is your new boyfrieeeend?> Cheryl teased as she leaned in closer, grinning.

<I’m not entertaining you with this.> Kara turned her head away, finishing the conversation. Or at least she thought so but her friend wrote a question on top of her notebook ‘What will you do about the microchip? ’

Kara looked at the other girl and rolled her eyes.

<So…. no monster boyfriend?> Cheryl grinned, back to teasing. <You know if they have a sister maybe~?>

Kara glared and with a quiet huff, went back to her notes.

_______________________________

Ever since they busted that trade Donnie was working on that microchip they have intercepted. It was fascinating. Also unfinished. He was certain to a layman this would be the most perfect chip in the world. It was a technological marvel. The metals used in it were nothing he has ever seen and no info on it on the net. Nothing.

It was chilling. If it was released commercially it would have revolutionized the market. His fingers were itching to test it on some of his own devices. Hell, he was already building something to do just that.

"Hey, Donnie?" Leo popped his head into his nook. "You're gonna join us for dinner before Mikey obliterates it?"

"Mhm, sure, later," Donnie replied in reflex.

"We haven't seen you out in a bit, have you eaten?" Leo was concerned. When Donnie was getting like this he would just forget about the whole world and his needs. Like food and sleep.

"Yeah."

"When?"

"Uh…" He really couldn't remember.

"Okay, that's it."Raph joined in and grabbed Donnie by his arm. "You're eating now."

"Hey!" Donnie protested but then his legs gave out a little. It was clear he needed to take a break.

After Leo made him do a couple of stretches, they sat him at the table but even then he couldn't get his mind off of the chip. He just started rambling about the project to them. He was so animated, while his brothers were trying to make any sense of whatever he was saying.

"It would usher in a complete technological revolution!" Donnie took a bite of pizza in between words barely chewing it. "It processes data so fast not even the human brain could keep up! And it's not even finished!" He stuffed his mouth with cheesy garlic bread and for the moment focused on chewing. It didn't last long. "Hoafs if a comfete fenouf! Efen Bafter Fofman ufed Fang fefnofofy," he spoke with his mouth full. Finally, he swallowed and continued. "If that chip is completely made on Earth that is. I would kill to meet H0AX."

His brothers and father exchanged bewildered looks.

"That's greeeeaaat Donnie…" Leo said slowly.

"Hey," Mikey snickered. "I think you got a crush on this Hoax dude."

"You are being ridiculous, Micheal," Donnie scoffed. "This is a purely scientific interest! But I would love to pick his brain!"

"When he is behind bars, hopefully?" Leo raised his brow.

"Oh, sure, yeah, absolutely, pfft when else!" Donnie waved his arm but it was clear he was most likely lying.

Everyone sighed resigned. It was often better not to inquire too far into Donnie's science. For one's quality of sleep.

Suddenly one of the many of Donnie’s devices made a noise. "Oh! I gotta go! Glitch is streaming!"

He grabbed two more pieces of pizza and rolled them into one then ran off.

"Don't forget to sleep!!" Leo yelled after him. "We have training tomorrow morning!"

"Sure!"

Donnie quickly popped onto his chair and turned on the Twitch. The streams often were more of white noise for him as he worked on his projects. Except for this one, Glitch was a VR streamer. Her avatar was a cute robot with a screen for a face that displayed emoticons and short words. She used a soundboard but was also able to sign in ASL during downtimes and there was always a mod in the chat who would translate it to the audience.

He quickly popped a quick hello and Glitch excitedly waved then used a Sombra voice line to respond:

" What are you up to Moira?"

Donnie smiled. Ages ago, when she wasn't as popular as now there was one super late stream at a weird hour. He got the notification and since he couldn't sleep but also couldn't think he hopped to it. There was literally no one else but him and her. She was just playing Hearthstone with AI. She seemed surprised when he popped in but welcoming. They at first chatted about the game itself. She asked him what her next move should be when she was stuck. Then about why he was awake. He didn't expect her to get what he was working on but… she did. Then they talked about the project she was stuck on. It was thrilling. He didn't expect the ideas and the engineering project. They threw around theories and discussed so many things. They spent hours just talking. He was so excited to be able to actually make a connection with someone who knew what he was talking about. Ever since then, he was one of the most loyal viewers. Always first to join and exchange some words.

It didn't matter who she was. He just hoped one day to meet the real person behind the avatar.

_______________________________

Kara left her streaming room and looked at Cheryl. The taller woman was rummaging through Kara's wardrobe, while the owner of the said wardrobe had been working.

<Adam's been trying to contact me about you again,> Cheryl signed, one hand holding the dress she wanted to try on. <He's obsessed with you.>

<He'll be fine,> Kara replied back.

<The guy is so hung up on you, it's sad.> Cheryl examined the sequin dress closer. <Are you going to wear this?> She looked up at Kara, wiggling the garment.

Kara rolled her eyes. <It will be like a top on you, you know that.> She tilted her head sceptically. Cheryl was 5’7” while she was below the 5 feet mark. All her ‘mini’ stuff would look ridiculous on her tall friend.

Cheryl put the dress back into the wardrobe, scavenging for something else briefly.

Kara waited patiently for her friend to look at her again so she could respond. First off, she flipped off Cheryl. Her face pulled into a frown and her tongue stuck out. <Fine. Remember about 4 years ago there was this portal event and a giant spaceship started assembling in the sky?>

<Who doesn't?> Cheryl frowned and sat down on a bean bag for the story. <You got your drone out to scout it.>

<Yes, and!> She spun in her chair and quickly clicked over some folders then entered passwords. Then she glanced over to Cheryl and gestured to her to come over.

Her friend, curious got up and leaned over.

Kara brought up a video. It was four turtles, surfing on pieces of the spaceship. They jump around, racing toward the assembly point.

Cheryl's jaw hit the floor.

Kara grinned at her. <This is the best quality footage of them you can get. They are the cryptids of New York. People on the Dark Web have been speculating about them for years! But all you can get is Bigfoot-quality photos and even then they tend to disappear within 12 to 24 hours.> She was basically wiggling in her chair. Her fingers flew over the keyboard and a couple more photos popped up.

They were more blurry but had four of the turtles over a storm sewer hole. The one with the orange bandana was already jumping in, behind him red, and purple ones running. Blue one holding the manhole.

Cheryl was speechless.

Kara cackled a little then cleared her throat, wincing and massaged her neck.

<You bastard.> Cheryl finally reacted. She slapped the shoulder of her friend. <So have you met them in person since then?>

Karaa shook her head. <Only at Mon Petite.> She sighed. <Also Adam actually sucks in bed.>

<He does?> Cheryl tilted her head. She was calculating something in her brain.

<Yep.> Kara nodded solemnly.

Cheryl frowned, pursing her lips.

Kara rolled her eyes but with a knowing smirk. Her friend was probably trying to undo whatever matchmaking she had done.

Kara turned around in her chair and stood up. Then stretched. She has been sitting at her desk, streaming, for the last couple of hours, her joints hurt and she was itching for some exercise. While her friend was ransacking her more fancy clothing she grabbed a training outfit. She hasn’t visited the dojo in a while. She wondered how people there were.

Checking the time, she confirmed it should still be open. Putting her trainers on she jogged there.

___________________________

“Guys, we uh, we might have a problem…” Donnie entered the main area.

“Talk to me,” Leo was as usual the first to respond.

“Remember the girl, Clara?” Donnie swallowed, avoiding looking at Raph, knowing full well what might come after his next sentence.

“The hot chick?” Mikey pipped up from his drum set. “What about her?”

“She and this is uh, this fun detail… See, I wanted to go through my footage of the mission to get her face cause you know, easier to search for her socials and um.” Donnie hunched down a little. “It was scrambled.”

“Scrambled?” Leo frowned.

Raph’s punching bag hit the wall, thrown off the hook. “I knew it!” Raph yelled. “I knew she was shifty! And none of you believed me!” He was half pissed off, half smug as he was right.

Everyone went quiet while Raph was ranting.

“What about the footage from around the club, and metro station?” Leo kept his cool.

“That’s- she goes into the station but she never leaves it. I tried cross-referencing her height and I thought I had something but- a dead end,” Donnie explained quietly, keep working out the scenarios in his head. “She knew what she was doing. The footage was altered somehow.”

“So what? We lost her?” Leo leaned over a chair, his hand squeezing the backrest.

“Not necessarily, there is one more thing I can try,” Donnie procured the microchip. It was still in its see-through case. “I can use this to try and make one more crack at finding her.”

“Alright, I trust you,” Leo let out a breath.

Donnie nodded and went back to his work. Clara must have been H0AX. This would explain so much. He had her within his reach and just let her go… That brought a bitter taste in his mouth but also excitement. He has been outsmarted by her. That never happened before.

He had to outsmart her back.

He looked at the microchip. Why did she just allow them to take it? Was she so sure they couldn’t trace it back to her? He went over the mechanics of it so many times. Did he miss something? He had to have….

With renewed he dropped down onto his chair getting back to his research.

It was a last-ditch effort, he knew. Carefully he removed the chip from its casing and placed it on his test station. Once more he marvelled over the engineering of it. The see-through elements, the delicate grid of gold.

He double-checked his equipment. Everything was on, ready to go. He flipped the switch. This time he wasn't checking what the capabilities of the chip were, this time he was trying to find anything that H0AX left behind that would lead him to her.

He was so focused on his screens that when his eyes fell on the chip again and it started dissolving he jumped up.

" What the fuck!?" Was it something he did?

"Language!" He heard Mikey's giggle from the main area.

"Fuck you, Mike!" He yelled back and gritted his teeth. He was racing with time now.

Adrenaline kicked in. He scanned the codes, typing furiously. He had to get as much as he could from it.

" Shitsshitshit." He couldn't lose this chance now!

Suddenly, a ping. He looked up at the screen. A signal. That came from their lair. In a split second, he looked at the dissolved microchip and nose-dived for the keyboard to track the signal. It didn't travel far. New York. With one sweep over the keyboard, he had an address. But no name…

Another quick dance of his fingers and he had IP addresses in that building. He was so close. His breathing was heavy and his tongue stuck out, wetting his lips here and there as the tensions grew.

One address looked suspicious. Donnie was leaning closer and closer to the screens typing line after line of code.

Finally, he had it. Not a name but an identity. He sagged a little in his seat. A weird mix of pride but also disappointment swirled inside of him.

Donnie looked at the ceiling thinking. He could give his brothers the address. Two possible outcomes would appear - she would bail again. Go into hiding, possibly forever play hide and seek with him considering just how much dumb luck this discovery was. Or a second option - they would capture her. Hand her over to the police. There she probably would work a deal, go to prison for a bit or be rolled into witness protection and he'd never talk to her again.

Either way sat a big ill with him. He didn't see it as fair on his side as a vigilante Donnie often toed or even broke laws here and there in order to help people. Or even exist in this world. They existed in a very grey area.

He wanted to talk with her without his brothers present. Pick at her brains. There had to be a third option. A neutral ground where he could approach her.

With renewed determination, he got to his computer again.

__________________________

There were many things April got used to after meeting the turtle brothers. One of them was odd working hours. So, when her comm started ringing she just sighed and picked up.

“Yeah?”

“ Hey, April, sorry for waking you up,” Donnie spoke softly through the speaker.

“Hey, Donnie, you’re fine,” she sighed and rubbed her face. “What’s up?”

“ I- well, I need to go to a VidCon… .”

“What?” She asked again, not sure if she heard it right.

“ I’ll explain everything tomorrow at the lair okay? ” He said. “ I’ll let you sleep now.”

“No, Donnie-” she tried to protest but he disconnected. “Great.”

tag list:

@madammuffins

@followmetoyourdoom

Bonus: Kara's VStreamer Avatar I drew in 2021

#eve writes stuff #bayverse donatello #donatello x oc #tmnt 2016 #bayverse tmnt #tmnt 2014 #tmnt fanfiction #teenage mutant ninja turtles bayverse #tmnt x oc

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threadsun · 9 months

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Ian doubts Ian? More likely than you think 😌 How much do you want to bet though that firehouse puppy has a few lockers specifically DEDICATED to the amount clothes that were given to them (including the ripped ones)? I’m sure one of guys made it all pretty too just for them. Now the question is if Jean would pull you into his lap WHILE wearing one of his handpicked outfits when someone visits the firehouse just to show how powerful he is. Oh absolutely to the insane amount of aftercare needed after Jean gets his hands on you. I’m sure that some of the guys made a watch group to makes sure Jean doesn’t go near you after one particularly rough session, switching who keeps an eye on you every so often. But definitely he knows not to push too far or he’d feel the wrath of all the other guys. Sometimes when firehouse puppy goes nonverbal from all the pleasure, they use the asl sign for no so that Joesph or Nick can jump in and stop the scene. OMG Ian would secretly LOVE being a firehouse bunny at that moment 😩 Maybe he’d sneak off every so often just to slip it on for JUST a moment~

You can work with anything? That’s makes sense with summoning spirits though, is there something that happens if someone doesn’t follow the rules like not knocking before entering the temple in the morning or summoning spirits in general? Exactly!!! No need to put yourself in danger just cause you’re a little curious about something!! Thank you 🩵 Yeah!! With how much things can change and shift, there’s always something new to learn so that’s why it’s amazing that we get the opportunity to learn about it! Oh that’s a shame that you had to deal with someone who is misinformed about Kabbalah :/ Hopefully they’ve brought in someone who’s Jewish to teach that class and knows what they’re talking since you’ve taken it! Learning about witchcraft in other countries must’ve been cool though!!! I can understand why you chose to do disability studies as a minor instead of witchcraft though! What did that minor consist of?

-🎃

Ian will believe literally anyone over himself, poor lad has NO self esteem 😔 They definitely have at least one locker full of clothes for their dog! Jean will do absolutely anything for a powerplay, so yeah he'd definitely dress them up and pull them into his lap and casually grope them while visitors are around. Anything to show his claim over them. He keeps everything on just the right side of okay so that the others don't try to take them away from him, while still being able to take all his sadistic urges and whatnot out on them. Everyone else can only really help by giving solid aftercare and keeping him occupied when they need a rest. Oh I love that so much, they all learned ASL so they could help hoh/deaf people during rescues, but it's very convenient for a nonverbal partner too! Ian would be so into it. He'd try to pretend he wasn't because he wants to seem as dommy as the rest of them, but he loves when the others bully him into putting his lil costume on and subbing with their puppy!

Not really, it's just considered rude. Which I guess runs the risk of a supernatural being not liking you, which would suck, but usually there's no consequences. It's just about being polite. I'm hoping they brought in someone Jewish to teach it, cause she was really awful and kept spouting lots of antisemitic bullshit too. But generally the other witchcraft courses I took were really cool and interesting!! For the disability studies minor, technically it's only an honorary thing. I was meant to be in the first class of students graduating with it, because the disability studies programme as an official department was new in my senior year. But then covid hit towards the end of my last semester, so they had to push off the creation of the minor. But I took all the required classes for it, so while it's technically not on my diploma I hit all the requirements for it. It mostly involved various classes about the social and medical models of disability, the history of disability, and the way it's portrayed in media and literature.

#sunshine #asks #🎃 anon

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ninthfeather · 1 year

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i don't have tumblr but i'm mocha, the author of one of the series you added to the "Fics that I feel portray disability and chronic illness well! (a collection for disabled fans)" collection, and i just wanted to thank you. i'm really happy that you feel like i portrayed the disability well! and i hope that if you or anyone sees anything that could be improved in my fics to please let me know so i can improve :)

Thank you! The collection is still a WIP; I've only been adding fics as bookmarks so far but I wanna send out collection invites soon! I really enjoyed your fics (for anyone following along, they're these deaf!Al-Haitham fics for Genshin Impact), and while I'm not Deaf/HOH, they were definitely the kind of stuff I enjoy seeing in fics where a character is portrayed as disabled.

Anyone who's following me and has an interest in Genshin/fics with Deaf/HOH characters, please go check out mocha's fics and give them some feedback!

#ask #reply #about fanfic #ninth's disability fic collection

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themoominmoon · 2 years

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(I mean this in no heroic/savior way, I hope it doesn't come off like that)

I say about how I'm learning ASL to people (not all the time, but occasionally) to kind of network and see if anyone knows about the Deaf Community at my college (I'm an incoming freshman). I am so sick of people acting like its the greatest thing ever and saying the "I've always wanted to learn" or "can you teach me some?" like 1. no I can't, I am a STUDENT who has not even signed for 1 year. I only started in February, and am a HEARING PERSON 2. if you've always wanted to learn then why aren't you doing anything? I give people resources, instagram accounts, Deaf/HoH teachers to look up, and dictionaries with grammar lessons and people keep being shocked that there's so much out there. I can't even imagine what it's like to be asked this as a Deaf/HoH person who only communicates through ASL

Here is some resources to learn btw:

Gallaudet's ASL Connect (interpreter program run by the US's Deaf university)

SigningSavvy (ASL dictionary)

Handspeak (ASL grammar + dictionary - has tons of AMAZING lessons and contextual signs)

SpreadtheSign (ASL dictionary app)

Instagram Accs:

- Loni Friedmann/loni.friedmann (DeafBlind ASL teacher)

- Venesse Guy/astro_woke (Deaf astrologist)

- Sarah Miller/adventuresindeafed + languagepriority (Deaf ASL teacher, sometimes does signing music videos)

- Jacelyn Fincher/jacelyn_fincher (Deaf comedian, really funny)

- Stacy Abrams/whyisign (fun account with entries from many people about their ASL/Deaf/HoH experiences)

- Sabrina Hottle-Valencia/simplenfit (Deaf fitness trainer)

- Jason Coleman/jasonscoleman (Deaf fitness trainer, workout instructor, and volleyball coach)

Most of your local Deaf Communities have instagram/facebook pages too, usually "[Your area/town/county] Association of the Deaf"

There are many resources out there. They are not hidden from you. They are not kept away from you. They are yours to decide to pick up or ignore like you always do. Stop lamenting already and just learn it, it's not that deep

#hope this wasn't too spotlight-y #i don't want tag anything unless I'm told lmao #just a rant #just a reminder

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delusion-of-negation · 2 years

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1) Ok so, I need some input on my situation. I'm a mildly disabled person, bad eyesights, and some motoric stuff. Nothing too impactful. I have an able-bodied (AB) acquaintance. Recently a mutual friend also able-bodied made a comment how they had problem with a small YT'ber who's got a heavy accent, they wanted to ask if there was a possibility for the YT'ber to add captions, but also mentioned how they were super insecure about sounding rude. AB told them to "Just say you're HoH, and that you

2) need it follow along with the video." I hadn't really said anything about the accent thing, but I kinda just responded with "Imo, I think you should just be polite and ask, claiming a disability and using it as an excuse when you don't have it is a bit off" AB just loos at me, and asks if I was calling them ableist. After a bit back and forth AB said "You aren't even HOH, why do you care?" Maybe they got a point? I just kinda feel it's unpleasant when able-bodied people use disabilities as a

3) to avoid "confrontation". Especially when the're not even doing it to actually help the disabled, but do it to benefit themselves, without caring about actual disabled people. Maybe the YT'ber becomes more accessible,which would be cool. But why does this have to be done on the backs of disabled people, for the comfort of Able-bodied people? It feels kinda backhanded, just because disabled people get a benefit from it, doesn't mean it was right to use us, in this case HoH though, as a tool

amongst my (many many) physical and mental disabilities, I have auditory processing issues, and my bio brother is deaf (and also has many many disabilities). I don't think ab was ableist, although I do think them snapping back and saying that stuff (you can care about stuff that doesn't affect you, that's not why you're wrong) when you got uncomfortable was pretty rude. sometimes people tell white lies when avoiding confrontation, dealing with anxiety (put a pin here), protecting people's feelings, etc, and provided it's not spreading misinformation or harming someone, it's maybe a touch insensitive, but not straight up ableist, and literally no people with hearing issues would have been involved in this specific incident or affected negatively in any way if you hadn't sent it to me.

they absolutely could feel like the youtuber may feel uncomfortable or upset with "you're hard to understand" and not add any, and if you're like "hey, could you add captions for the hearing impaired?" well that's still not a sure fire either because I've seen first-hand "no actual [disability] have ever asked for this, so fuck off", but "hey, I'm a hard of hearing fan, do you think it'd be possible to add subtitles?" isn't as likely to upset the youtuber. there's obviously levels to this, different situations might be far more ableist, but I don't think this specific incident would be a white lie that'd ultimately hurt anyone.

I think painting it as the person "using" disabled people is hella extreme for just one sentence of a white lie to avoid upsetting someone. that said, I'd like to reiterate, I'm not saying it's not backhanded or unpleasant, just that... to be honest, you really don't want me to get a second opinion on this one, because my bio bro hates people like you (that's people without the disabilities, and especially without any at all or with only mild ones, who take offense on behalf of people and groups that they don't belong to, and stand in the way of a net good because it comes across as problematic to you in some tiny way), and your messages here would earn you a slurry of insults if he saw them. especially if ab didn't ask for the subtitles in the end because of you.

of the two of us, I'm the one most sympathetic to the idea of an incredibly minor thing still being insensitive, and of speaking up when it doesn't affect you, and even I'm really finding it hard to give a shit. if I get captions then that's good, it won't bother me if the person who got captions exaggerated their need for them somewhat, so that the person wouldn't indignantly respond with annoyance at an insult to their voice or refuse because no disabled people have ever asked. what's really the benefit of this "yeah but are you disabled?" behaviour, means testing people for the right to advocate for a need? that mindset is what gets me shitty looks when I use the disabled loos, despite the fact that I physically need to use them, or the popularity of clips of people vandalising cars in disabled parking spaces because they thought (rightly or wrongly) that the owner wasn't disabled.

asking for help is hard, and in this situation it's simply not "on the backs of disabled people for the comfort of abled people". first of all, anxiety is a disability (remember that pin from earlier? I did notice how you referred to them both as able-bodied, not abled, and if you're another anon trying to sow discord between the mentally and physically disabled, I will go to the year 3,000 and do awful awful awful things with your great great great grandaughter). second of all, it literally is the able-bodied person doing the work to get the aids? they need them, even if only for comfort (which is literally something we disabled people should be advocating for, given how often our needs that ease pain are written off as "just for comfort"), and they're doing the work to get it. I don't think you've considered that, thirdly, he might not add any without "valid reason". and fourthly, it's also for disabled people, it's not gonna be captions only abled people can see, the captions will appear for everyone.

me and my bio brother grew up unable to learn sign language, despite his deafness and my selective mutism/non-verbal issues and auditory processing issues, because nowhere taught it and we didn't have money. we grew up unable to watch tv with subtitles turned on because it was either unavailable or "distracting" for the adults. that's not even getting into aids for other disabilities, how both of us have had to fight the benefits system to be able to survive, etc. I don't think you understand how it feels when your whole life has been "aids for disabled people are too uncomfortable for us, so no aids" and "even if you are in as much pain as you claim, you can still walk without this", and then someone comes to you like "can you believe this person wants aids!? for their comfort!? that'd help more people than just them! and they wanted to lie to make sure it was actually granted without a confrontation! what an ableist asshole!"

maybe things are different where you're from, but politely asking for an aid, especially if you're not literally paralysed from the neck down, or if it's more for being comfortable than literally surviving, really isn't as easy as you make it sound. "just ask politely for someone to go out of their way to make you comfy!" ma'am I can't even politely ask for the thing I need to be able to drink without getting eyerolls or "we don't have any, you'll have to use paper, it's because of the environment or something".

it feels backhanded, insensitive, unpleasant even, I'm happy to grant all that, but "using" us as a "tool", "off our backs", putting the word "confrontation" in quotes as if it's not a real possibility, there was just so much that went too far for me in your asks. and that is why you're wrong. not because you were offended on behalf of a group you don't belong to, but because you told this story in a very dishonest sounding way, you exaggerated the impact of this, and you potentially disuaded someone from the act of getting aids for disabled people because it upset you.

edit: to clarify, I'm not mad and I don't think you're awful, wrong there was to mean "incorrect", not "simply awful" or whatever. it honestly just feels like ab was doing the thing that'd help people and you were uncomfortable because it's not perfect, and your discomfort is totally valid and understandable, just ultimately the less helpful to the world, of the two options presented here.

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