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immortalmint · 10 months

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15 Questions (Don't Have) 15 Mutuals

I got tagged by @childlikegoblinqueen to answer a 15 Questions thing, so prepare for TMI! Are you ready? Here we go!

Are you named after anyone? Nope. I'm named after a local-ish street. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways again? The English language is bonkers.

2. When was the last time you cried? Bill and Frank from HBO's The Last of Us. I ugly cried. Hard. Skip rest of question if you care about spoilers and somehow haven't watched it yet. The show introduces this conservative survivalist nutjob Bill--not my usual go-to character--and makes me sympathize with him instantly through the elegance of his hidden bunker design. It's obvious how much love and care this man has put into his work. And he just keeps going with the competency. So competent. I'm enamored now. Then they introduce Frank, and floor me with how delicately they handle the reveal of Bill's closeted gayness. Bill has never gotten to be himself with other people. The whole god damn world has to end before he can just exist. Then we get to the bedroom scene and I'm like "HBO, don't you dare put this sensitive, private man's first sexual experience on display to satisfy your voyeuristic audience. It would be violation of his character and the carefully earned intimacy that's meant only for Frank. Just Bill and Frank, not for the audience!" And then HBO, which has thrown T&A at us too many times to count, politely leaves the room. Bill gets to be Bill with the man he loves. We the viewers don't intrude on it. The writers did something so right and shockingly respectful. And then Bill and Frank grow old together. Frank is Bill's whole reason for existing. The man that gave him permission to be himself. And in the end they die together. Bill is satisfied with the life he had with Frank. And I'm a complete ugly mess of tears.

3. Do you have kids? I write a very ace-spectrum ('spectrumy in general) Hunter, so naturally, yes! I have kids. Us darn asexuals keep confusing the rest of humanity by existing. Equip 2x to procreation (or I have 2 children and am tired enough to make bad RPG jokes). Gotta keep the weird genes circulating in the human population. How else are we to survive these strange times?

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? For the right opportunities, oh yes. (Who, me? Never! was too bad of a joke to make. But I'll admit I was tempted.)

5. What sports do you play/have played? Only those I was forced to participate in during PE. I did karate and kung-fu for a bit (mostly to write better fight scenes) but I didn't like getting hit or approve of the general injury risk. I prefer hiking and gardening.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? Hair and eyes. And how they're treating other people / interacting with the world.

7. What's your eye color? Light Brown. Basically Flapjack's / Hunter's new eyes.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Not particular about it, provided the characters are good, the plot is interesting, and it manages to make me feel something. Greater fondness for characters that have been through shit and still make something good out of themselves in the end. Soft spot for sympathetic monsters and well-executed suspense.

9. Any special talents? Making relevant observations and troubleshooting issues. Nothing for a talent show, but useful for employment.

10. Where were you born? Despite rumors to the contrary, Earth. In the absurdly wealthy country the US of A, that still can't seem to provide medical care or food to all its people. Baffles me daily.

11. What are your hobbies? Gardening and writing. Drawing on occasion. Getting deeply invested in media that portrays atypical people or experiences (sci-fi and fantasy work quite well for this). The Owl House is my current media passion (particularly Hunter & Willow, Eda & Raine, but I love all the characters). Used to be Final Fantasy 7 until they did Vincent dirty in a spinoff game. I haven't touched the remake. Waiting to see if they screw up my favorite character again.

12. Do you have pets? 3 chickens named after Owl House characters. We had 4 and it was… a very cruel life lesson. They're sweet, social birds, and after they get old enough, are very aware of their flock. My oldest chicken took her sister's death really hard. As did I. Lots of ugly crying. I take writing Flapjack very seriously, as you might imagine.

13. How tall are you? Tall enough to reach the top shelf in my kitchen. I consider that good enough.

14. Favorite subject in school? Lots. Math, Science (Genetics, Physio-anatomy, General Bio, Engineering), Philosophy of Religion, Art, Behavioral Psychology. I very badly wanted to major in "Mad Science" in college. Sadly, it is not offered.

15. Dream job? I had it, but ended up with a shitty boss that wrecked it (verbally abusive to multiple people on the team, attempted to sabotage my assignments several times, removed my name from the credits when circulating my work… or "Why is this grown adult acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum?"). Found another job that was pretty close, then got reorged to a shitty boss that wrecked it. Very tiring. Found another job, and the team + boss is amazing. Hoping company leadership doesn't f-it-up too much, as I like where I am. I've hit the point (probably much earlier than normal) in my working life where I realize the reason most people are so eager for retirement isn't because they don't enjoy working. Many of them do! It's because they're sick and tired of the jerky politics. My next dream job is a sabbatical.

#15 questions

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elisemb123 · 4 years

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So I saw this asmr video thingy by this guy called Akira Dubs on youtube. I know asmr isn’t for everyone but hear me out! This guy’s impression of Mirio is pretty darn good and this specific video was called Mirio’s final kiss goodbye. Sounds super sad, right? Well yeah I bawled my eyes out. So good, I just had to do a little fanart of my reaction to the video XD

here’s the link to the video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LkafECt000

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grandparomeaskblog · 2 years

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The Roman exhibition

Venice and Romano took their dad to an ancient exhibition. At first Rome was exited but within half an hour he was already done with it. Venice watched his reactions with great interest, a little as a caring child looking up to his Pater, a little as a pest also, just pushing buttons to see where it hurt.

"Why do they show this crap?" dad asked. 'this crap' being Roman glasswork. "Because modern people try to picture how it was like. Your glass was very beautifull" Venice said "It was," he said bitterly "but THIS is crap. They are not showing the good stuff." "Well that's because this is all that is left" Romano schrugged. Rome tried to change the subject but Venice would not let him "Is it bothering you?" "Yes" "Why?" he asked with his angelic voice. Rome rolled his eyes. "Don't you kids ever grow out of that?" he countered. The silence that followed was deafening. Romano wanted to break it but was getting that special stare from his brother that told him to stay out of this and so he bit his tongue. It didn't take long anyway. "Ok FINE," Rome said. Venice smiled contently, with one small victory in his pocket before noon already the day started out well. ",people are gonna presume this is top notch Roman, right? The others are gonna just laugh at me. If China sees this I can never show my face again. This shit doesn't belong in a museum it belongs in the trash." Romano couldn't help not to chuckle "See, even he is laughing!" Rome cried out.

"Ah pater, but if we throw it all out what are we gonna show the tourists?" "I don't know... that's not my job to decide" That raised another question. "But what if it was. What would you show them?" Rome shook his head. Now Romano was curious too. Rome walked out on them angrily. The sound of his flipflops echooid throughout the hall as he dashed out to get some air.

His sons dropped the question back on the menu again later that day when sitting at a terrace. "Why don't you want to answer?" Venice inquired "Because, it's no use... It's hard work finding the words. I'm not a good speaker and... you don't want to hear it anyway. You only want to hear someone elses opinion in my voice" "You don't have to serve no political agenda or give a voice to your people you can speak freely" "I don't know how" "Just try. You can change your mind as much as you want too. We just like to hear what you think, right now"

"I think..." The grown up boys sat up straight and listened carefully. "I think art should be public, overall I think everything that brings joy should just be for the people and not some investment. Take the masterworks to your hospitals so a dying man has comfort. Use what you have instead of exhibit it. Glasses are meant to be filled. That's what I think." That was unexpected "Musea could be a place to show people the things that can't have room in the real world. like war. The true ugly face of war." Romano nodded "There are musea like that, pater" "GOOD! That should be their only purpose. All that is good should be out. And all that is evil can go in... including women" "Dad no, what?!" "It's stupid how can you be so advantaged in medicine and things and still not have found a way to work around them?! You asked me to speak, so there you have it"

#hetalia #aph hetalia #aph rome #aph romano #aph venice #aph italy #aph south italy #italy brothers #hetalia fanfiction

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highflyerwings · 2 years

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Ten Characters I Fell in Love With in 2021

Tagged by @maystea! Thanks, hun!

Oof this was harder than it should have been, and I didn't know if it was supposed to just be limited to kdramas, but that's what everyone else seemed to be doing, so that's what I focused on. With the exception of the #1 spot, these are not in order of favorites. (I played around with the list too much after 1. for it to be in any kind of order.)

1. Lee Dongsik (beyond evil)

The character who brought me back into the kdrama game. He hit all of my buttons: angsty, tortured, fucked up, emotionally messy, kind, loving, loyal, handsome, bratty. He has it all. He is everything to me. What else is there to even say. I've never wanted a character to be real so badly in my life.

2. Kang Yohan (the devil judge)

I did not anticipate loving this character as much as I did. But from the very first episode I was done for. He’s complex, and fucked up. He’s clever and smart and loving and generous and scary and also bratty and everything you never thought could fit perfectly into one person, it’s all there. He surprises me every time I rewatch the show. And I’m surprised I can somehow manage to fall more in love with him every time.

3. Jung Sunah (the devil judge)

My literal wife. The light of my life. One of my all time favorite villains. She’s twisted, and complex. She scares me and she also makes me want to wrap her up and keep her safe. I would die for her.

4. Seong Gihun (squid game)

The man I've gone to bat for more than any of the other characters on this list. The good, flawed, lovable, tragic man I love so so much. Maybe my love is a reaction to how much the majority of people seem to hate him, but I really am just terribly in love with him and how good he is. He's so human, and I think that's what people forget when they analyze (and condemn) his actions. He's a humanist and I love him for that.

5. Han Jaeho (the merciless)

The last of the Merciless Evil Devil From Hell dilfs that I met. And one that hit me as hard as I expected. I knew I was going to love him, but I didn't know how much. He's the perfect combination of Mujin and Dongsik, and I was helpless to fall for that. I love his snark and his attitude. I love how intimidating he is. I love how sexy he is. I love how twisted and tragic he is. He's my bisexual king.

6. Choi Mujin (my name)

What do I even have to say about Choi Mujin. He ruined me. He's made me useless. I have nothing else to say.

7. Kang Sol A (law school)

Ha! Y’all didn’t even know I watched this show did you. But I did. And I ugly cried through the last half of it. But the one character that hooked me immediately, the one that I will never forget as long as I live, is Sol A. She’s cute, and weird, and snarky, and messy, and smart, and clever, and she made me laugh. Like…she made me laugh and I fell in love.

8. Yang Jonghoon/Yangcrates (law school)

My dude. My motherfuckin GUY. Of course I was gonna fall for the professor. If I have ONE TYPE, it’s sexy hardass professor with a heart of gold. He spent every second teaching those kids. He spent every second making sure they had the tools they needed and understood how to use them. He’s so smart and so mysterious and so scary please I hate school so so much he stresses me out. And that’s why I want to marry him.

9. Lawyer Ko Inguk (the devil judge)

I'm literally not even explaining myself here. If you know, you know.

10. Jung Taeju (my name)

I struggled between Sangwoo and Taeju for a place on the list, and in the end I had to go with my boy Taeju. I simply have too much at stake in his well-being to not make him a priority on my list of favorite characters. He's mysterious, only because we know literally nothing about him. We're lucky we know his name, to be honest. We're lucky we got as much as we did. But we got just enough to get invested. And I have, and will continue to go to bat for him for as long as I live.

Honorable mentions:

The entire Manyang gang, you expect me to choose? (beyond evil)

Yoon Donghoon (my name)

Jeon Pildo (my name)

Yooyi (deliver us from evil)

Kim Innam (deliver us from evil)

Player 062/the math teacher (squid game) -- i almost put this bitch on the main list, I cannot lie

Cho Sangwoo (squid game)

Hwang Inho (squid game)

Hong Namil (dr. brain)

Lee Kangmu (dr. brain)

Gong Soohyuk (the silent sea)

Perry Park (kill me heal me)

I will tag @hakjoos, @bobafvcks, @godotismissingx, @noxdwn, @aellanyx, and @leonnamc

#the kdrama life #the devil judge #beyond evil #my name #squid game #law school kdrama #dr. brain #the silent sea #the merciless #and yes yes i know there is a decided lack of women on this list #that's my own problem and not yours #move on #i'm addressing the fact that neither moonjo or jongwoo made it to the list at all #i'm pointing that out myself #and i'm also adding that i have no logical reason why #they just...didn't make the cut

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leelysian · 3 years

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Hyunjin as your older brother AU 💖✨

genre: fluff

word count: 2.2k

warnings: swearing

Disclaimer: I do not personally know Hyunjin. This work is purely fiction and my own idea. I took inspiration from his on screen persona. Please do not translate or re-upload my work.

☆ Let's start with you as babies.

☆ Hyunjin wasn’t too bothered with the idea of having a sibling.

☆ When your parents first broke the news to him, he was pretty indifferent.

☆ Your parents honestly thought he’d throw a tantrum or something but indifference was something they didn’t have in mind.

☆ They slowly tried warming up to the idea of having a younger sibling to him, things like protecting them, taking care of them, sharing things with them etc.

☆ He wasn’t too keen on sharing.

☆ Your parents diverted his mind from that thinking they’d deal with it later when it came to that in the future.

☆ Initially Hyunjin would be nonchalant but once he saw how invested your parents were for your arrival- creating a nursery, making baby clothes, buying baby stuff etc. Hyunjin slowly got more curious.

☆ Y’all know how his unnerving stare is, he’d just stare wide eyed in blatant curiousity at his parents preparing things.

☆ He’d look at his mum eating weird things to satisfy her pregnancy cravings with disgust and sometimes mild curiousity.

☆ “Why are you eating *insert craving*?” he’d ask. “Baby likes them.” your mum would say. "Oh. Baby's weird."

☆ That would make her laugh.

☆ Days pass by and finally the third trimester arrives. The baby is healthy and kicking.

☆ The fam was watching tv one fine evening when your mum felt a kick and gasped. Both dad and son jump up "What's wrong?"

☆ "Thebabykicked!" she said quickly in a word vomit. "What?" "THE BABY JUST KICKED!"

☆ *cue the freaking out*

☆ She grabbed Hyunjin's tiny hand and pressed it against her big bump when Hyunjin gasped in shock. "WOAH! BABY REALLY KICKED MUM!"

☆ "You were like that too, son." your dad would tell him. "I was?" he'd ask and point to himself and both your parents hummed in agreement.

☆ "You should talk to baby more, I'm sure baby can hear you." your mum told him as she ruffled his hair. "Okay mum."

☆ Thus, in random times he'd say things like "Come quickly." "I can't wait to see you." "I'm eating *insert food*, I think you'll like it but you have to come quick."

☆ Occasionally, he'd cuddle with your mum and rub her belly with lotion or body oil and he'd feel another kick which resulted in the room filling up with giggles.

☆ "Stop kicking mum so much, you'll hurt her." he'd scold. "It's okay baby. I'll be fine." your mum would say.

☆ Finally, the time for your birth came. Hyunjin was somewhat calm but inside he was all sorts of jittery with nervous excitement.

☆ After your parents had a moment with newborn you, Hyunjin was lifted up on the bed by your dad.

☆ The entire time he was quiet but wide eyed in barely concealed curiousity.

☆ Your mum gently placed you in his arms and your dad supported his arms so you were held securely.

☆ Hyunjin stared at you. Your eyes were closed. He raised a small hand and stroked your soft cheek and you stirred so he quickly pulled away.

☆ You opened your eyes into uneven slits and yawned and he smiled. "Cute hehe."

☆ He stroked your cheek again and your even tinier hand grabbed his finger. He gently shook your hand and rocked you in his arms.

☆ Hyunjin vowed he'd protect his new sibling. "He’s/she’s so small." he couldn't help but wonder out loud. "They grow quickly." your dad said.

☆ Fast forward, you were growing, and soon you started to babble and crawl.

☆ Hyunjin would always be keeping an eye on you.

☆ As all babies do, you had a habit of putting everything in your mouth. Everything.

☆ "NO Y/N DON'T EAT THAT." he exclaimed as you were about to put some sort of scum you found on the floor from your crawling adventure in your mouth

☆ He'd scream suddenly graced with the scene of you playing with the toilet water.

☆ Since you have the tendency to put everything in your mouth. He took a sour candy and handed it to you.

☆ You stared at the small, weird, colourful thing. He waited for you to do something.

☆ You put it in your mouth, grimaced heavily, dropped it from your mouth and frowned.

☆ Hyunjin had the time of his life and his stomach hurt from laughing so much.

☆ He'd walk and do things, you'd always follow him.

☆ He tried teaching you how to walk. Standing with you at arm's length as he held your shoulders.

☆ You took quite a few tumbles but he was there to catch you and cushion your fall.

☆ Then he took a different approach and stood behind you as he held your shoulders while you walked.

☆ Slowly with help from Hyunjin and your parents you learned to walk. Now the following became easier.

☆ If he went left, you went left. If he went right, you went right, if he ran then you ran. Then you'd stumble, fall and cry but Hyunjin would laugh and help you stand up.

☆ Soon, you learned how to climb and it was chaos everyday which made your parents exasperated and Hyunjin want to pull his hair out.

☆ "Y/N GET DOWN FROM THERE. THAT'S DANGEROUS!" as if you understood what he was saying. You giggled gleefully.

☆ Once your mum cut your hair. It was so bad. Hyunjin cried because you looked ugly.

☆ Which made you cry.

☆ Both of you were crying. “MUM WHAT DID YOU DO TO Y/N’S HAIR?”

☆ You’d bother him when he was doing something wanting to be involved. He could be playing a game and you’d grab at him to get his attention. “Y/n stop!” he’d grumble.

☆ this is a true story. My mum cut my hair when I was like 1 and my older brother cried because it was so bad and I cried too

☆ Fast forward, you two are older but you’re still a smol child.

☆ You two played hide and seek. You picked the most obvious places to find.

☆ Hyunjin definitely knew where you were hiding because you always chose the same 3 spots but he'd pretend not to know.

☆ Just so he could jumpscare you. *cue the Hyunjin HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE laugh

☆ TICKLE FIGHTS!!!!

☆ Once Hyunjin was playing games. You went to him because your mum told you to go play for an hour. Hyunjin said no. “MUM HYUNJIN WON’T LET ME PLAY!” “Y/n you can play later. It’s okay.” Hyunjin has a smug look.

☆ Hyunjin reaches to grab the remote to watch tv, you snatch it before he could. “Please let me watch!” he’d ask. “You didn’t let me play before, I’m not giving up the remote.” you say and hug the remote to your chest.

☆ “You can go play now.” he put an innocent face. “No.” you refused. “What if I let you play tomorrow?” he asked but you didn’t budge. He did this way too many times. “How about I get you your favourite candy and you can play tomorrow?”

☆ “How do I know you’re not lying?” you interrogated. “I promise.” he said. You mulled it over for a while. “Fine.” you toss the remote and rush to play your game.

☆ Next time you were watching tv, Hyunjin didn’t let you play again. This time you were watching your favourite program.

☆ He snatched the remote and changed the channel. “HEY I WAS WATCHING THAT! GIVE IT BACK!” Of course he raised it out of your reach, “I’m watching now.”

☆ “If you won’t let me watch then you can’t either.” you’d move and block the tv’s receiver. He’d chastise you, “Y/n go away or else.”

☆ “I’m telling mum.” you marched. “OKAY FINE HERE” he’d exclaim and give you the remote.

☆ He loved teasing you. As a kid you were a picky eater. Hyunjin didn’t complain as much as you, of course because he’s more mature.

☆ “Y/n you should eat your vegetables. Carrots are good for your eyesight. You don’t want to start wearing glasses now do you?” your mum would lecture you.

☆ “Yeah y/n, be like me. I have good eyesight. You watch too much tv as well. That’s not good.” he’d snicker and you’d glare at him. “You play games all day which is worse.”

☆ “Hwang Hyunjin, is that true? You should be studying more.” your dad would start lecturing him and Hyunjin would glare at you for that while you smiled triumphantly.

☆ Lowkey bullied you by calling you nicknames.

☆ He’d ruffle your hair playfully but 9/10 times it was annoying for you.

☆ You two would wake up together early morning on the weekends to watch morning cartoons.

☆ Cuddle together under the same blanket until you fell asleep again because you woke up very early.

☆ He’d stand innocently somewhere, you would walk past him and he’d either pull your hair from behind or push you. “HEY!”

☆ He was probably the one who told you some childhood fantasy is a lie. Like the tooth fairy is not real. “Oops.”

☆ Fast forward you’re tweens/teens/young adults

☆ Hyunjin was tolerable but still annoying, as expected of a big brother.

☆ One of his tics were hogging the bathroom for long periods of time.

☆ It got worse because he hit puberty and now he’s OBSESSED with his hair.

☆ You’re going to the bathroom to freshen up, it’s the morning, you have school and he intercepts you quickly and locks the door. “5 minutes y/n!” You bang on the door, “HYUNJIN GET OUT! I’M GONNA BE LATE!”

☆ You need to pee, he’s already in the bathroom. “HYUNJIN GET OUT I NEED TO PEE REALLY BAD! PLEASE!”

☆ He steals your charger. “What’s your percentage at Hyunjin?” “I can’t find my charger, but mine’s at 76%.” “WHAT THE HELL GIMME MY CHARGER MY PHONE’S AT 23%”

☆ You’re chilling in your room. He barges in without knocking.

☆ “Can’t you knock?” you sigh.

☆ “Which shirt should I wear?” You choose one. “Okay thanks.” he says and leaves without closing the door.

☆ “HYUNJIN CLOSE THE DOOR!”

☆ He barges in without knocking to tell you something. He leaves but not before grabbing something closest to him and throwing it at your face.

☆ And once again, he leaves without closing the door. “HYUNJIN CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!” haven’t you ever heard of closing the damn door nOOO

☆ You’re sleeping. He sneaks into your room. Plays something really loud. You fall off the bed. He bursts out laughing, clutching his stomach. “HYUNJIN I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

☆ He shakes a soda can. You walk in. “Hey y/n you want this?” You shrug, “Yeah sure.” You take it from him and open the can.

☆ PSSSSSHHHHH

☆ And you’re sprayed in sticky liquid, it’s up your nose and your eyes.

☆ You get him back of course. Spray some shaving cream on his face and his outstretched hand. Phone recording in hand. “Y/N!”

☆ You undo some of the stitches in his pants while he was in the shower.

☆ He went out wearing them. He bent over.

☆ RRIIIIIIPPP

☆ The thing is he has no idea you’re the reason his pants are torn from his ass.

☆ Since fashion is subjective these days, you two share clothes but mostly you borrowing his.

☆ You sneakily use his perfume/deodorant stash.

☆ He’s having cereal. “Can you pass me the box?” you politely ask. “Hm oh yeah sure.” he hands it to you after he finishes pouring then walks off.

☆ You tip the box and only a handful of cereal bits fall out.

☆ “Think fast!” *throws bottle* and you fail to catch it.

☆ You two take a lot of photos. You take good photos of him and he takes good photos of you. Neither of you half ass this. Photography is serious business.

☆ What’s annoying is that he takes photos with your phone and then tells you to send them to him afterwards.

☆ “Take photos with your OWN PHONE!”

☆ You two dance together at home. Your parents bought just dance for your birthday. And you two have dance battles together.

☆ You two made tiktok videos together.

☆ It’s mostly goofing off though. Hyunjin is always laughing his ass off. *cue HEHEHEHEHEHEHE*

☆ He had a habit of teasing you with embarrassing childhood stories.

☆ “I remember when you were drinking out of the toilet.” he would burst out laughing.

☆ “Yeah well I remember when you nearly shit your pants because of getting your tooth pulled out.” you retorted.

☆ “Oh really?” he’d stand tall and menacing. You pulled a Naruto. “Y/N GET OVER HERE!”

☆ Despite the constant bickering and small *cough* pranks, he was still a reliable brother.

☆ You knew he’d have your back no matter what and he knew you would do the same for him.

☆ He was always looking out for you even if that may not seem like it.

☆ There was never a dull moment in your house because of you two acting like cat and mouse.

☆ He’d sometimes say comforting things when things got too hard for you, if he had nothing to say, his shoulder was free to cry on.

☆ But that’s something you’d never change. Yet.

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yeet-me-into-oblivion-please · 5 years

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Well, Supernatural is actually ending and I don't know what I'll do

[ Brevity is not a strong suit of mine since I've included personal details but there's stuff I feel everyone in the SPN family needs to read]

You might be expecting another post about how Supernatural saved someone's life and how devastated they will be when it ends because they've watched it for so long as well as how the actors have impacted their lives. This is probably one of those but please hear me out.

Supernatural premiered in 2005 and I was in preparatory class (aged 5 years and was before I began 1st grade). I heard of it because my aunt would watch it time to time so I'd also tried to get some peeks myself but I wasn't allowed to because it was "too scary".

Then our local cable began to show seasons 1-5 and that was when everyone in class started watching and quoting it. This was in 6th grade and I was frustrated because I knew about it before most of them yet they acted like it was a new show. I had a fair idea about the story but once I began watching it, I fell in love with it and loved it like a part of my soul.

Yes, Jensen Ackles was my first crush but I still thought (and do think) that both he and Jared are super hot. So I was sucked into this vortex, this Neverland which I never thought I would end.

I joined Tumblr for this show in 2013 because I saw the jokes about there being a Supernatural gif everywhere and wanted to be a part of the fandom/community. This was also the year I actually became interested what other fans felt though I never used this site properly until 2016 I would read the IMDb discussion boards because I hated scurrying through Destiel-infested posts.

(Fun fact:I wasn't using any social media of my own but on my mother's Facebook I liked a Supernatural fan page asking people's opinions on Destiel. This is was around the time season 8 was just finishing or had already finished so I read the comments--- people talked about Dean and Castiel being gay and didn't approve of it as there was this one girl who was conservative and didn't believe in homosexuality while others went on how Dean was always a ladies man which I agreed with. Not that I commented but I thought there was something I missed and I thought Castiel used Dean as a vessel, thus Destiel.)

But I digress. I was in deep by the time season 9 premiered and majority of the people I knew stopped watching the show except for this girl who bullied me throughout preschool who put up this update that Dean had become a demon. I doubt she watches the show now but it was hard seeing her put pictures of "I heart Dean Winchester" and pictures of Jensen when my mom asked me why I don't do the same.

Supernatural, I feel, has become that embarrassing thing you are into in middle school but suddenly drop when you're older, looking back and thinking, "Yeesh, I can't believe I used to watch this show."

I'll be a grown woman at 30 or 40 and probably eventually in my 70s and 80s but I will still look back fondly, the good, the bad and the ugly because I have like many teenagers have undergone many changes (friends, family, emotions, hobbies etc) but Supernatural has always been this constant in my life.

Because let me tell you, I'm seeing these posts saying stuff like how people are glad that it's finally over with its "bullshit" and that's it's dying. That is extremely disrespectful and insensitive to those people who literally live for it, who have invested time and money into it: gif makers, artists, meta writers (I may not agree with you guys but even you count). They don't know what to do once the show ends because it has helped them in ways others will never ever be able to fathom.

I saw the video put up by the guys. I saw and I could tell that Jared, Jensen and Misha had probably cried their guts out before the announcement because their eyes were red and puffy. Jared was controlling himself by talking less as Jensen was clearly on the verge as well but yes they said that they should save the angst for next year.

I love the guys; I love Jared being a goofball and Jensen being equally goofy as well and I'll say this too, I used to enjoy some of Misha's crass jokes (not the highlight ) as well which was why I looked forward to the gag reel every summer (because of J2) because it was cathartic after a traumatic season finale. I love the witty banter and the pranks the cast would do and I will miss it tremendously.

I have some issues with my aunt but everything would be okay when we would fawn over the guys and bingewatch the entire season the summer after it finished airing. We'd quote quotes back and forth and even spiritually killed ourselves watching short clips of "Sammy, close your eyes", "I'm proud of us" etc. Hell, she even promised me that when we go visit my uncle in the States we'd attend a con together.

If, and whenever we do go, it'll be different because the show won't be on air anymore and I know for a fact that I won't feel the anticipation of an episode.

So don't say disrespectful and callous things like "fucking finally". You can dislike the cast/plotline/show but don't ridicule and mock those who invested in the show,some of you are most probably speculating and have barely seen it.

I'm not some dumb, blind fan. I can see some stupid mistakes and don't always eat up what the writers show. For example, everyone must have figured that I dislike Destiel because it's based on groundless assumptions. I thought the Bloodlines was a crap idea that had nothing to do with the main plot and knew it was destined to fail.

As for Wayward Daughters/Sisters or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be called, I was not looking forward to it at all because it was one of those "forced diversity" shows, y'know gender bent stuff.

I felt that they were bastardising everything that Supernatural has and will (always) stand for because some people had a hair up their backsides. Yeah, I loathed Claire and that Kaia mourning thing was bullshit. Thank goodness I was sick that day and couldn't keep my eyes open for that episode.

If we were told that there would be a Men of Letters(with Henry Winchester) or even a Bobby-Rufus spinoff I would be okay with that but for now since the show will finish next year let's the wounds heal first, shall we?

I hope that Jared and Jensen get some offers once the show is done and I will pay good money to see movies, TV shows of them etc but for now I will keep quiet since I hope we get an ending we (and the boys) deserve.

Yes, the writer situation scares me and I think they should call Eric Kripke for a last hurrah. I mean, it is his baby and he should get to have a say in the series finale as well as J2.

Will one of the brothers die and the other will live (I'm worried we'll get a reverse Swan Song)? Will they both die leaving Cas behind and Jack as some sort legacy who trains future hunters? That would be a possibility since the sheriff in 14.16 asked the Winchesters why they don't tell people about monsters. What happens to Baby?

I seriously doubt the ending will be happy(maybe not 100%) but the best thing would be if they go driving with Baby into the sunset...

Dean at the steering wheel with Sam riding shotgun, where they should be ---- where they will always be, home. Dean plays his "mullet rock" as Sam would playfully mock his brother's musical choices. No chick flick moments. Just the Winchesters.

The boys need to lay their weary heads to rest, so they can cry no more. Because they are the legendary Winchesters, the hunters who saved the world countless times unbeknownst to many. I don't think their work will ever be done but there will be peace when they are done and how they will reach that point we'll never know till 2020.

Everyone will hear "Carry on wayward son" for the last time ever in Supernatural over a painful montage of "Dad's gone on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and "Saving people, hunting things, the family business". Now who in this fandom wouldn't be wracked with pain?

This is the show we all joked about that made a deal with the devil to never go off air but I did expect this a long time ago. Only thing was that I didn't know how I'd treat the news. I was that person who would go, "pfft, of course Supernatural would get renewed". Then again, this was the show that an ending was imminent and the whole season 4 debacle about Misha and the angel storyline saving the show blah blah blah.

So next year, everyone will flock to see the finale and epic conclusion to the Winchester saga whether they stopped at season 5,6,7 or 10,12. Diss it all you want for the shit show it may have become but wherever you left off, you may still want to know what happens to Sam and Dean Winchester in the end.

Once Supernatural ends, I'll turn 20 next summer and I would like to think of it being poetic that I end my adolescence with a show I have loved when I brave the cold, ruthless world of adulthood. I'm a picky person and can't say what's my favorite xyz is but you know what I'll say about my favorite TV show.

We will have completed 327 episodes which is the highest for a scifi TV show so I do hope the boys get some sort of recognition. It was us crazy bitches and jerks that gave the show the mileage and it was us that gave Jared and Jensen faith that they could carry on so for the remainder of season 14 and for 15,support these guys. Support these annoyingly sexy and ridiculously hilarious dudes for this show. I'm sure Jared and Jensen love the show like it's their kid practically but I wish everyone would just shut up, tinhatters, bronlies, stans, destihellers because we are all fans of the one show so let's ease the time we have left.

But seriously imagine Sam and Dean on a desert highway, the orange and yellow rays of the setting sun make Baby shine in all her splendor which makes Dean swell with pride. He starts the engine with a low rumble and they're off. They might to California to feel the sand beneath their feet or to Disneyland. They're living the "apple pie life" and this is their personal heaven : with each other.

I wouldn't mind this playing in the background if the ending is the inevitable and unspeakable you know what :

It's wishful thinking, since I wish they'd actually play some Zeppelin instead of song titles being used as episode titles but I wish they could use some Queen or Guns n Roses and stuff before 1979 because everything sucked ass afterwards according to Dean.

I want the classic rock resurgence in the show as well but I know they'll end up using the cash elsewhere. I wouldn't mind a body swap episode but if wishes were horses, right?

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ae-diaries · 5 years

Text

My Life Testimony

Warning: Long post ahead

The content of this blog has me holding a secret I've kept hidden for a long time. I'm a bit hesitant to share my personal story because others (who knew me already) may be shocked or turned off 😅, but hopefully, the thoughts would bless someone and help you face your weaknesses and rise above them. This is a celebration of the greatest miracle I received from God. I never thought that miracle was real, until circumstances proved that it is possible.

Foremost in my mind is when I was a high school kid. My life was symbolized by the microphone; I’d been exposed to sing in front of a crowd, be it in school or amateur singing contests. It's not to boast but it felt like I was a singing sensation back then, others dubbed me as 'songbird', 'sweet nightingale' to name a few 🤣. But when no one's looking, I felt, for lack of a better description, just off. This was caused by a certain physical condition that tear down my self-image.

It all began when my mother noticed that I had an uneven shoulders when I was 13 years old. Later on, I was diagnosed with scoliosis measuring a 20-degree curve, and so my doctor from PGH gave me various stretching exercises and required me to wear a brace to prevent the curve from worsening or else surgery awaits me.

I freaked out inside. At the back of my mind, I wondered, “Why me?”. From then on, a hidden scar symbolizes my 'private' life. People might not notice it, but really I was riddled with inferiority complex and lack of self-worth. Nakakaiyak isipin, imagine ako lang bukod tanging estudyante sa private skul na may ganitong klaseng kundisyon. How I pitied myself. Parang ayoko nang lumabas. Hiyang hiya ako.

I usually cried and pahirapan pa every time my mother would be putting the brace into my body, kabilinbilinan niya wag ko daw aalisin para daw mapabilis paggaling ko, but there was this one time, while I was on my way to school, naisipan kong dumaan muna sa haus ng classmate ko para lang ipatago yung brace ko. And it happened many times. Ang bigat nyang dalhin, di lang sa katawan kundi pati narin sa kalooban. Later on, they found out what I was doing, until wala na silang nagawa sa tigas ng ulo ko. Fortunately, my classmates did not bully me in school; however, I was still very conscious and afraid that my crush would see me like a bionic kid. To this day, I have never told my parents about this reason. You know as a teenager, I was overly sensitive by the opinion of others. And that's all that matters to me. I didn't think of the consequences of this action.

Fast forward to 2012, sabi nila end of the world na this year (according to Mayan calendar), feeling ko katapusan ko nadin when I went back to the doctor and learned that the deformity progressed to over 50 degrees. Reality finally hit me! A major surgery was needed to correct my S-curved spine. Why I didn't just wear that darn thing? I must admit nagpabaya ako as I was trying to live like a normal kid. At that time, I was already employed in my first job so I filed for a two-month leave. Luckily, my very understanding boss approved it. I also had an amazing orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Teodoro Castro, who explained to me the procedure (though it was as clear as mud to me). He was very reassuring, so I didn't get scared.

And when he asked, "Kelan mo gusto magpa-opera?," Without a second thought, I replied, "Kahit po bukas na doc!". My thoughts were, "If not now, when pa?"( I felt like I was running out of time.) His eyes bulged upon hearing my immediate response! And so he set the schedule to May 16, 1 p.m (which I spent at Sta. Teresita General Hospital in Quezon City).

It was exciting, really, though it had 'Final Destination' feels. Andaming 'what ifs', what if di ako maka-survive? Bigla kong naisip talagang 'life is short' at ang dami ko pa palang di nagagawa sa mundong ibabaw such as makapag-serve kay God through joining a spiritual ministry, to travel for a cause, makapag-abroad, makakanta sa tv, makita si Regine & Sarah, magamit license ko to teach students, maigala ang magulang ko, and to have my own family. Sana magawa ko pa ang mga ito after post-op.

More so, I felt my family's collective fear; I could actually hear the loud beating of my parents' chest when they signed the waiver 🤣. My father had worries that my voice might deteriorate after the operation. Laying in my bed and knowing that I may be that close to dying, I delivered my prayer of surrender to God and remained fearless. The comforting lyrics of 'You made me Stronger' by Kelly Clarkson became my fight song while in the hospital.

Waking up after the operation was the highlight. Being groggy from the anesthesia, I opened my eyes, feeling like it's just a continuation of my short sleep. I saw the nurses and my family - patiently waiting for me to wake up for almost 6 hours na daw. The first thing I asked was, "Tapos na?" (many times). I felt a huge sigh of relief when they uttered the words that struck me to the core, "Oo, tapos na." S*** I couldn't believe my ears; I was flying with joy! For years I have prayed for this miracle. I wanted to shout and do any dance challenge, 🤣 but how could I do that? They were preventing me from talking yet or make any movements because a mask was surrounding my nose and a lot of apparatuses were attached to my body. Later on, I learned that my younger brother cried after seeing me survived the operation. May kadramahan din pala si brother na lagi kong kabangayan 😂. While the success of my operation wouldn't be possible if it weren't for the assistance provided by my father's company, DMCI Corp. That's why I'll always be indebted to their big boss, VAC (May his soul rest in peace).

My healing lasted for almost nine months. I never suffered from complications, just pure torture and regrets na sana di nalang ako nagpa-opera (huhu). This is no exaggeration but dinaig ko pa talaga ang na-cesarean. On the first month after my operation, I became disabled and reached levels of pain I thought never existed in human experience: It was difficult to breath; I could not stand and walk on my own; I became excessively skinny because of drug intake - this was a legal drug prescribed by my doctor which can remove the pain only for 4-6 hrs. It felt so pathetic and frustrating to see myself in front of the mirror. No matter how much I tried to be positive, my insecurities gripped me down again and again to the point of questioning God: "Is there a hope for me?",

"How come others could breathe and walk so well? During these times, inggit na inggit ako sa mga taong nakakalakad at nakakahinga ng maluwag. Feeling ko life is so unfair. Somewhere deep inside, I believed I was ugly, that He really didn't like me and it was His punishment for all the sins I did in the past. As I poured out my grief before God, a question popped in my head: “Mira, give me reasons why you should remain grateful?.”

“Seriously, how can I be grateful in times like this?.”

But in those agonizing moments, a light of hope from my parents’ eyes illuminates my darkness.

In all the times that I cried and complained, I never saw them get too tired to feed me or serve me even if it would make them uncomfortable to make me comfortable. I couldn't imagine how they felt when I looked down on myself. Aside from my parents, my siblings, concerned relatives and genuine friends also never left my side. It's as if they became my extra pair of legs when mine refuse to walk. And my heart is full of gratitude today because they have loved me during the times that I didn't love myself.

I'm living a normal life now as if nothing happened but others observed that except for my angelic voice 🤣, I tend to become forgetful and a little bit of deaf (Yes to this level) - this was probably caused by my extra dose of antibiotics intake 🤣. They noticed that I walk with lightning speed, as if may hinahabol daw ako lagi - maybe subconsciously, this has something to do with my life goals. Yes, I do get tired easier that's why there are some things that I must not do such as lifting heavy objects, sport activities (except for swimming), washing a mountain of clothes 🤣, bawal ma-stress and ma-exposed sa extreme cold places 😅.

As they say, true wisdom is learning from your shortcomings. For everything that I'd been through, I realized that there's a lesson hidden underneath the pain and it was God's way for me to:

(1) strengthen my faith - It was through this difficult times that I also underwent a 'spiritual surgery/enlightenment'. It has helped me find my stride in God and pray like I have never prayed before (for I know nakalimot ako). I didn't know all His plans but surely He was turning my brokenness into greatness.

(2) love myself, invest in my relationships and create good memories - The whole discernment gave me the courage to keep progressing. I began to accept my imperfections, pick up my self-esteem, and do the things I haven't done before: Much is to be done but so far, I already saw Miss Regine and Sarah in person, traveled to different places, got to teach students in schools, treat my parents - brought them to concerts and resto; spent midnight snacks and watched movies with my siblings; hang-out with friends; reunited with a long lost friend; restored a broken relationship, and tried to forgive someone;

(3) appreciate the fine details of life - More and more, my wishes become simpler. I realized there is more to life than any material thing could give, and that is getting enough oxygen and optimal healing to every organ in my body. Sobra kong na-appreciate ang buhay ko, especially the air I breathe, and the legs that carry me everywhere.

Eto lang sapat na 'to be happy'. Why did I fail to notice this before? And that's also what I want to ask you, when was the last time you were thankful for the air around you? True to what they say, the best things in life are free, but the problem is we're not contented with what we have and complicate rules to experiencing happiness: “I will be happy only if I’ll be able to upgrade my phone, buy a latest collection of chanel bag, wear a new pair of sketchers shoes..” And I'm so guilty of it because I once was a shoppaholic before that I forgot to remember how 'enough' I truly have.

As I look back, hagulhol nako sa iyak - there were tears in my eyes, but they were no longer tears of pain but tears of gratitude - thinking how would I survive without the amazing people in my life.

I believe that God wants me to write this article so that I could speak for Him and claim that today, I can go out without any worries because I'm no longer ashamed of the scar life has left me with. It's a blessing in disguise; a sign that I conquered pain and fear. Wala na sigurong pagsubok na di ko kakayanin dahil kinaya ko na yung 'pinakamahirap' because truly, life is about not giving up and trying to fix yourself up after every fall.

I cannot make the scar disappear but by looking at it, I see a testimony of survival, inner strength and God's miracles. Jesus never said it wouldn't be easy, but He said it would be worth it! - Matt. 7:13

#secondlife #lifetestimony #embracingmyscar

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