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#I'm ready to get hurt again in terms of notes
arachine · 7 months
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yes, i'm ready (to fall in love)
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── ˚₊✩‧₊ genre: smut, fluff, mild angst
── ˚₊✩‧₊ synopsis: after reader is persuaded into putting herself back out there by long time friend, shoko, she successfully ends up scoring a date. unbeknownst to her, though, the gods have different plans—and one of them seems especially interested in her relationship with ex-husband, gojo satoru.
or in other words: a failed date results in a night of passion amongst former lovers.
── ˚₊✩‧₊ contents: 13.5k words, ex-husband!gojo + co-parent!gojo, slight dub-con (alcohol use), dumbification, overstimulation, vaginal penetration, unconventional form of contraception (pull-out method - don’t do this), pussy eating + one oc for the sake of plot
── ˚₊✩‧₊ note: i know this is really long and most people don’t have the attention span for it but PLEASE give it a chance! this is literally the longest piece of fiction i’ve ever written and i’m really proud of it :(
songs to listen to for best reading experience: donny hathaway - i love you more than you’ll ever know barbara mason - i’m ready partynextdoor - showing you bryson tiller - been that way
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After you divorced your ex-husband, and decided to devote all of your time to being a mother, you never really considered getting back into the dating world. Not that you didn’t eventually want to settle down with someone new, but the dating world now was just so–different.
Different in the sense that meeting people organically was becoming increasingly difficult. It wasn’t like how it used to be in high school or college, and it really didn’t take that much effort then to get a man’s number by the end of your outing. 
When you were in your early twenties, a brush of your hand on a man’s arm would’ve worked. An ‘accidental’ bump into someone at a grocery store or cafe might’ve ended in a quick lay. Using these tactics today, though, might earn you some weird looks–have–earned you some weird looks. 
You’re on call with a friend from college when you begin recounting something embarrassing that happened to you recently. At first, the conversation started out about all of the professors you would’ve slept with (if given the chance), but then, one thing led to another, and she asked you something that made you wince: 
“‘How’s your dating life been since, you know, Satoru?’” 
There’s a heavy silence from your end, and she almost thinks you hung up. 
“I mean, if you want to share,” she splurts, attempting to approach this gently, “I know that after the divorce, I wasn’t there for you like you needed, but I’d like to make up for that–if you’d let me.”
Shoko’s always been like that. Blunt and charismatic, but gentle and zephyr-light in the way she cares for those closest to her. It’s a trait of hers that you admire, because not so many people would care to treat your heart with such fragility.
“No, it’s okay. You can ask, you know, it’s not this secret thing,” you start, sighing before continuing, “it happened, and it was a mutual decision.”
Shoko hums on the other side, “Well, I’m still sorry. I let us go without talking for far too long…”
“Well, I accept your apology, even if it’s unwarranted. Like I said, it was mutual and…there wasn’t really an intense grieving period for me? The only thing that hurt me is that you distanced yourself. I mean, the girls did miss their aunt Shoko…” you say, trying to make her feel bad but not too bad. 
“I know, I know, I’m a bad aunt,” she jests, then the tone shifts to something serious. “I think I was just scared because both of you were my best-friends. I didn’t want to ‘pick sides’, but I see now that it was a mutual decision, so I’m assuming you two are on good-terms?” 
Again, you pause, “I mean, yeah. Satoru will always be my best friend. We may not be together romantically but he’s such an integral part of my life, I couldn’t do this–all of this–alone.” After you say it, you feel a weight being lifted off of your chest that you didn’t know was even there. 
You think nobody would understand if you told them this. You think they’d question how a person could divorce someone who’s supposed to be their best-friend. And with the way you describe it, they’d probably think you were still in love with him. But Shoko’s different, she gets it. Which is why saying it to her came so easily. 
“He is a great father,” she chimes in, “but you two rushed into it so quickly, I don’t think either of you had time to discover yourselves after college.”
Although she can’t see it, you smile. Because she gets it. Even if time did place itself in between the two of you, she was there for most of it, when things were still touch-and-go. When things were fresh, and clumsy. 
“Exactly, that was our biggest gripe,” you admit, “We didn’t afford ourselves that time to grow, and I think that hindered our relationship. We weren’t husband and wife first, we were parents–and we were young, way too young.”
“You made it, though,” Shoko tries to brighten the mood, “you’re both amazing parents, and I know those beautiful girls that you created are lucky to have you.” 
The intimacy of the conversation sends your emotions into overdrive. You quickly realize how much you missed her, how much you yearned to talk to her. To reconnect on this level. 
A single tear cascades down your cheek, and you try not to sound like you’re crying when you say, “Ok, enough about that. You wanted to know about my shitty dating life, right?”
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It happened last week, the grocery store incident. You were out picking up a few things for dinner when you spotted a cute guy standing outside of the aisle a few rows from you. He was fit beyond measure, in looks and strength, and was wandering around aimlessly in pursuit of red pepper flakes. 
Coincidentally, you just happened to be in the seasoning aisle, and like the good samaritan you were, decided to personally hand-deliver it to him. 
You wince as you vividly recall the embarrassing ordeal that ensued immediately after. 
“Hey,” you peer from behind the aisle, with a bottle of red pepper flakes in tow. “I heard you mumbling about finding this, and you looked pretty lost, so I thought I’d pick ‘em out for you.” 
The man’s brows furrow briefly before his lips up-turn into a grateful smile, “Oh, cool, thank you so much!” As quickly as the conversation started, it ends even quicker. He gives you a final nod of endearment before he’s turning around on his heels to resume his shopping. 
“God, could he be any more dense? The men today really make you work for it, huh?” you mumble to yourself, pulling the bosom of your blouse down until a good amount of cleavage is on display. “Okay, alright. You got this, you got this. This always used to work, right? Yeah, men love boobs.”
Walking up to the man again, you try a different approach–a bolder approach. “Not to be a bother but I was wondering if I could-”
“Babe? Oh, there you are,” a new voice interjects. The owner of the voice emerges from around the corner and walks up to the man with a cart and a baby in tow. You’re stunned, to say the least. All you can do is stand there and blink in complete and utter dumbfoundment. As you remain in their presence, you take a moment to analyze the woman. She’s gorgeous, and toned. A real model-type broad, with feline-ish features that make so much sense paired with the man who appears to be her partner. 
Oh, you think, and apparently say aloud, too. That’s when the woman turns to you, finally acknowledging your much smaller, and much quieter presence. 
“Hi, can we help you?” she smiles, and it’s actually genuine. Toothy and perfect, and totally not jealous. You blink once, twice, before gathering your wits to answer her question. 
“Yeah, uh, no. I actually, uhm, was helping your h-husband. He was looking for red pepper flakes,” you mutter embarrassedly, and point to the bottle in his hand. Upon further observation, you notice that she isn’t exactly wearing a ring. You find this odd, especially because his not wearing a ring is what encouraged you to pursue him. Carefully, you prod. 
“If I may ask, how come neither of you are wearing rings?” The couple gives each other a look, one that makes you feel like the odd man out. A look that is universally known, and without a doubt, could easily be translated to: ‘did this chick really just ask that?’
Still, you smile as you wait for an answer. The woman takes the initiative. “Yeah, we don’t really believe in rings, isn’t that right, babe?” she says so matter-of-factly. You blink again for what seems like the thousandth time, because of all things, you did not expect that to come out of her mouth. Her husband is quick to validate her statement. 
“Yeah, we think rings are unnecessary, you know? You don’t need a piece of metal to confirm your feelings,” he says walking to his partner’s side and wrapping an arm around her. 
Disgustingly, the two give each other googly eyes before locking lips briefly. You can tell they’re the type to probably share this information with just about any soul who asks. Today, you just happened to be that unfortunate soul. 
“Are you married?” she queries, tilting her head against her husband’s chest.
“I was, now we just…co-parent,” you purse your lips, ready for this entire interaction to be over. The woman frowns at your answer, and this time it’s not as genuine.
“Awe, well, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It was actually a mutual decision,” you quip.
“Okay,” she smiles, widening her eyes at her husband to signal a departure, “well, it was nice meeting you, and thank you for the red pepper flakes.”
The family turns away and heads to the front where check-out is. You don’t even buy the items you intended to purchase, just leave your cart in the middle of whatever aisle you abandoned it and leave the store.
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“Oh, baby, you didn’t?” Shoko asks in horror. You nod your head, still forgetting she can’t see you and the way you’re sliding down against the wall. 
“I did, and I shan't ever again,” a laugh erupts from your throat. 
“I mean, fuck, are we getting old? ‘Don’t believe in rings,’” she mumbles, “Don’t believe in rings, my ass! Is this what the youth are doing these days? Not proposing with rings?”
Now that you think about it, you wonder how that would even work. “Yeah, right? I mean, how does that even work? ‘Will you marry me? But, actually, you should know I don’t have a ring for you, so people will have to guess that we’re together purely based on vibes and energy,’” you mock, in a not-so-great man voice. 
Shoko’s laughing so hard by the end of your bit that she breaks the sound barrier, and the sound that makes on the phone sends you into your own fit of laughter. You laugh so hard it seems like a stream of pee comes out. Curse your developed incontinence after motherhood.
“God, you’re so stupid, I can’t breathe,” she says exasperatedly, and you know that on the other side she’s probably keeling over in her bed. 
“Oh, please. I bet you haven’t laughed this hard in a long time, bitch.”
“I haven’t,” she cackles. This back-and-forth continues until the two of you settle down enough to continue discussing your (pee-inducing) love life. 
“You tried any dating apps?” 
It’s a simple and valid question, but it only makes you laugh even harder. You only stop when the other side of the line goes quiet. “Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. It’s what everyone’s doing these days! You’re not that old, you know.”
“Shut up,” you kid, “ it’s just that I never considered it. I mean, dating apps feel so impersonal. How serious do people even take it?” 
“Sure, there’s people who use it for casual hook-ups and stuff, but a lot of people do come out of it with a relationship. Just don’t knock it ‘till you try it.”
“Oh?” you muse, curious. You wish Shoko could see your face, and the weird little dance your brows were doing. “Shoko, have you used a dating app before?” 
The brunette kisses her teeth. “Can’t get anything past you.”
“Never.”
There’s a sense of hesitance but you encourage her to elaborate because ‘she became estranged from you for almost a decade and needed to pay her dues’. Sighing defeatedly, she eventually acquiesces. 
“Fine, fine, maybe I’ve…been on a few dates,” she starts, “–and had a few one night stands, maybe more than a few, and maybe even dated a guy that turned into my stalker–”
“Ieiri Shoko! You naughty, naughty girl! Wait, stalker?”
“To make a long story short, I got a restraining order on that creep. Anyway,” she segues, attempting to change the subject, “We should make you a profile!”
For the rest of your phone call, Shoko guides you through all of the dating app basics. She offers her expert advice as you scroll through your camera roll for potential photos to use. You go through about a hundred before you finally settle on five that she really likes. 
The one that she tells you to put first is a photo of you in a bikini. It’s a few years old but she says you look ‘radiant’ and that your ‘tits were practically spilling out of the cups’. Plus, for further consolation, she says most people on dating apps are liars. 
“Everyone’s got at least one old photo on their profile, doesn’t make you a catfish,” she quips, “just means you’re a nostalgic person!” 
“Right…” 
The next one is a selfie. You’re smiling big in it, showing your gums, and it’s genuine. Shoko says guys like those types of photos because it shows them that you’re approachable. It also won her over because it’s fairly recent, too. 
Out of all your photos, there’s only a select few that were taken within the year. You had to admit to her that you never really took photos of yourself anymore. Satoru took most of your candids. Still, she had a mission. And she wasn’t going to be satisfied until she stuck around to see your first match. 
“After the selfie you should put the one of you with the girls.”
The picture she’s referring to is one Satoru also took. You remember that day fondly, and even now, the memories feel like a warm embrace. 
about 8 years ago . . .
“Dad, mom, look! Hurry!” Hana, your oldest, shouts. Satoru and you are sitting on a blanket up on the sand dunes with Haruki, who’s trying her best to make a sand castle–to no avail. 
“What is it, hon?” Satoru and you rush over to her, snatching toddler Haruki in the same breath. When you get to the scene, a flood of warmth washes over you upon discovering the ‘threat’. 
“See, it’s baby turtles!” Hana’s squatting in the sand, watching with pure and unfettered fascination as the hatchlings crawl north to the ocean. When she looks up at you, with eyes so bright, and a smile so big that’s missing two of her front teeth, you want to cry. 
“Oh, hon, that’s beautiful,” you gasp, lowering to your haunches so that you can join her. Satoru is about to follow suit before deciding at the last minute to go back to the blanket. When he returns, he snaps a picture unbeknownst to you. Eventually, though, you turn your gaze to him and he captures–what he used to think then–the ‘prettiest’ photo of you.
“You sneaking photos of me?” you squint, pointing at him. He trods closer until he’s standing above you. Then he snaps another. Your head’s tilted up, and you’ve got one eye open, and the other closed because of the sun. He always liked when you squinted like that because it made your nose do this cute little scrunch. 
“Yup, ‘cause you’re my muse.”
You’re pulled out of your daydream when Shoko says your name on the other line.
“You still there?” 
“Yeah, it’s just…”
“Just what?” she queries, waiting for a response. 
“I wanna use it, but my ex-husband took it. It feels weird, you know? And do I want to use a photo of me with the girls?”
“Hon, who cares if Satoru took the photo? It’s still a good photo, and to answer your second question, why wouldn’t you include a picture with your girls?”
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just afraid no one will be interested. Nothing about a picture of a mom with her two daughters exactly screams ‘fuck me’.”
Shoko lets out a small chuckle but you’re being serious. “Oh, sweetie. You’re so cute. Milfs are in these days, I don’t think I’m the one getting old, I think it’s just you!”
“Ha-ha, laugh at the mom,” you feign annoyance, but give her a laugh in return.
“But seriously, please use that photo. Nobody’s going to skip you just because you’re a mom. A lot of men on there have kids of their own, just gotta tweak your settings,” Shoko reassures you.
By the end of your call, the profile is set. You thank your old friend for the previous heart-to-heart conversation, and the time she spent helping you set up your profile.
“Keep me updated, and don’t talk about mom stuff, okay? Now, I’m not saying you can’t talk about them,” she begins, “but show these guys your personality! I know she’s in the closet somewhere hiding next to our old slutty clubbing clothes.”  
Then, the both of you say your goodbyes and she wishes you a good-luck on your newly established dating journey. As you lay in your bed, you give your profile a final onceover. Not too bad, you think to yourself. 
You ended up using all of the photos she had originally picked out for you. Even the beach photo. To compensate for your old photos, though, Shoko made sure that your prompts were witty and full of personality. 
“I’d match me, I think. No, yeah, these are funny. She did a good job.”
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The following day, you open your phone to fifty notifications from the dating app. A tingle of excitement shoots through your body from the tip of your toes, to the top of your head. It takes all of your might not to squeal in the office. 
“Holy fuck,” you whisper at your desk. The amount of notifications that you initially saw on your homescreen read ‘50’ but when you opened the app, it showed you an overwhelming ‘100’ with a fat plus sign next to it. “Wait, are these all the people who liked me? Shoko’s gonna flip.” 
Getting up from your chair, you make a beeline to the nearest bathroom. Not that you have to use it, but so you can scroll through all the potential prospects without your boss seeing you on your phone. 
Pulling open the door to the bathroom, you close it shut behind you and lock it. A few minutes pass in the time you’re able to get through about half of the people who liked you. You end up skipping a lot of them. They’re either too young, too self-absorbed, creepy, or just downright not your type. 
Some stick out, though. Even trick you into thinking they’re potential matches, but then the other shoe drops–because there’s always another shoe. You’ll scroll through their profiles, and they’ll seemingly have all the perfect traits: intelligent, witty, handsome, tall–and then, boom. You see their ‘don’t want kids’ preference. Every failed match only discourages you more and more. 
It’s weird, because your profile preferences are set to ‘have kids’ and you even have a photo pictured with your girls. So why are men liking your profile despite that? After a few more scrolls, you’re just about ready to head back to your desk but then–you have a hit. 
Your finger hovers over the ‘x’ at the bottom of the screen, then retracts. The guy’s profile at first impression is miles better than the rest, it’s almost too good to be true. His first photo is what piqued your interest. It’s of him posing for a silly photo with his sons, and he’s got his arms draped around their shoulders. 
As you scroll down his profile, you see that there’s even more of him with his children. You take this as a green flag. He wants people to know he has kids, and that he isn’t embarrassed to show them off. You admire him for it. 
The last few remaining photos are an amalgamation of selfies and full-body photos. To the average, well-adjusted adult, looks wouldn’t be a deal breaker. But he definitely wasn’t too bad on the eyes, and you were not complaining about that–especially, after the odd men you had to scroll through to get here. In other words, he was gorgeous and still fit despite being older than you (him, respectively being in his early forties). 
Checking the time on your phone, you realize that you’re pushing your little ‘bathroom break’. Before heading back to your desk, you decide to respond to his first photo.
You: Cute! Could never get my girls to stand so still for a photo like this now haha :)
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Work goes by slower than you’d like, but finishes up just in time when you get a notification from the dating app. You’re a little more excited than you’d care to admit. Tidying up your workspace, you say your goodbyes to your colleagues and head to the elevator. Absent-mindedly, you rush to answer his message but realize it won’t go through because of the elevator’s poor service.
Kazuki: Oh, they’re moody and grown now, don’t be fooled. I can't remember the last time I saw my youngest smile. 
You don’t answer his reply until you get home. Actually, you do just about everything but answer his reply: check on the girls, shower, prepare dinner, pour a glass of wine–you’re nervous, and you don’t know why. But you know you should probably answer soon before he becomes disinterested. So you get comfortable in bed with your glass of wine and pull open his chat.
You: Lol, know that all too well. Kids are little assholes, aren’t they?
The speed in which he reads your text is startling, you don’t even have enough time to close out of the chat. Then, he responds. 
Kazuki: Hell yeah they are! 
Kazuki: Sometimes I want to strangle my youngest. He’s at that age where he’s starting to rebel and question everything. I told him he was supposed to be the ‘easy’ one, but his knucklehead brothers are bad influences on him…Tell me, does it ever get easier?
You: Sounds a lot like my oldest. She used to cling to me like a koala but now she’s the ring leader, and I’m the enemy. My youngest still loves her mama, though (for now lol). 
You: And to answer your question, I’d like to think so? 
You take a second before continuing your response. Shoko told you to keep the mom talk limited, but this seems to be working for you so far, and he’s genuinely interested in what you have to say. So for once, you’re going to ignore her advice. 
You: Kids go through phases. It's our job to reassure them that we’re not going anywhere. No matter how much they push us away or try to, that is :)
Kazuki’s chat bubbles pop up, then disappear. You think he’s deciding on what to say. 
Kazuki: I can tell we’re gonna get along great. It’s nice opening up like this, you know? Talking to another parent. If I'm being honest, dating apps have always intimidated me…
Kazuki: People see kids as ‘baggage’, and it really bothers me. My kids aren’t baggage. They’re the best parts of me. And if someone doesn’t see that, then we have no business getting to know each other. 
Kazuki: Sorry for getting all sappy. Just felt like I needed to say it. 
His apology makes you frown. It feels like a breath of fresh air to hear someone talk about their kids so lovingly, because you feel the exact same way. You’re glad you downloaded the app, and you make a mental note to thank Shoko again later (after you debrief her about this). 
You: Never apologize for speaking about your kids! And if we’re being absolutely transparent, that was my biggest gripe with downloading this app, too. 
You: I’m so glad we matched each other. I’d like to get to know you more. And I’m hoping the feeling’s mutual?
Kazuki: It’s more than mutual. 
Kazuki: Don’t want to get ahead of myself but how do you feel about dinner? There’s a cool high-scale restaurant in the city that I haven’t been to yet. Heard it’s got two Michelin stars despite opening up not too long ago. 
The prospect of going on a sit-down dinner date has your stomach in knots. It’s been a hot minute since the last time you’ve done so, but you’re eager to know the man behind the screen on a more personal level. Plus, being treated to a high-scale restaurant with two Michelin stars doesn’t seem too bad either. You’re never one to turn down free dinner.
You: I’d love to, but how soon we talkin’? Gotta see if it’ll align with my schedule.
Kazuki: How’s this Friday at 8 sound? :)
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The days leading up to Friday breeze by in a blur. For the majority of the week, it feels like you’re walking on cloud nine. Eventually, the conversation transitions from the dating app to exchanging phone numbers, and since then, the two of you have been texting back-and-forth everyday.
You talk about mundane things. Work, shows, movies, books you’ve recently read, what your kids are up to–but the other things? The other messages are flirty, and sexy, and filled with so much tension that it could cut a rope in half. 
In between messages, the two of you have also exchanged a few photos. Nothing risqué or anything of that nature, just random photos of you throughout the day. The last one he sent was a few hours ago of him at work, captioned with: ‘Could this meeting be any longer?’. 
You reply to the message with the ‘ha ha’ reaction, in consideration of not wanting to get him in trouble at work (even if he was the one who initiated the conversation). As the days go by, though, you make it a habit to update Shoko every step of the way. 
Her first reaction to hearing about him was enthusiastic. That is, until you showed her screenshots from his profile. You vaguely remember her saying something that was meant as a compliment, but came out more like an insult. 
“‘Oh, he’s a dad!” was her initial response, “oh, he’s a dad…and he really loves his kids. You’re meant for each other.’” 
When you tried to ask her what she meant by that, she changed the subject. Every update since then has earned slightly more positive reactions, though.
Today, you ask her for more advice. Only this time, you’re on video call. 
“Shokoooo,” you drawl, “our date is tomorrow! You have to help me find something to wear.” The panic in your voice is so palpable, she can almost feel your shaky hands through the screen. Flipping the camera, you hurriedly pan your phone around the closet. 
“Breathe, girl, breathe,” she demonstrates first, before telling you to repeat the same motions. “Take me to that section over there–no, not that one–wait, yep, there.” You amble over to the area she’s directing you to through the phone.
“What’s that black little number right there?” She points. You prop the phone up on a shelf and scour through the section, tugging out a dress you haven’t seen in ages (which has you questioning how she even spotted it because it was pretty far back into the closet). Walking back into frame, you hold the fabric up to your body. 
Shoko nods in approval, “That’s the one, babe. Try it on!” 
It’d been about a decade since the last time you wore this dress. It’d also been about a decade since you were ever this small. Looking in the mirror, you run your hands over every surface inch, every crevice of the dress, in a newfound sense of appreciation for the adult weight you’ve gained since becoming a mother. 
The dress was always stunning but it hugged everything perfectly even more so now. When you walk back into frame, your friend gives you a look of pure adoration. She’s so enthralled that she snaps a few screenshots for keepsaking. 
“Thank god it’s Satoru’s turn to get the kids tonight,” she says, “‘cause you’re definitely getting some tonight.” 
You roll your eyes, reminding her she’s on speaker phone. “Oh, please. It’s just dinner!”
“Not in that dress,” she retorts, wagging her finger in the camera. While the two of you continue to chat about the details of tonight, a knock on your bedroom door draws your attention. 
“Mom, can I come in?” the voice sounds. It’s Haruki. 
“Come in, hon!” 
After you give the ok, you turn to Shoko and mouth to her to behave. Haruki turns the knob and enters, closing the door behind her. She sees you standing in front of the mirror before you see her, and silently utters a ‘wow’. You’re just about done putting your earrings in when you join her in the other room. 
“What do you think, bun? Does your mom look hot?” you spin around, smoothing your hands down the length of the dress. You wait in anticipation for her approval, because if anyone could tell it like it is, it was always going to be a kid. Your Haruki was no exception. 
“You look really pretty, Mom. I’m glad you’re going out tonight, I mean, you don’t really have friends so I think this will be good for you,” she elaborates, though you wish she would’ve stopped at the compliment. 
Still, it puts a smile on your face to hear her verbalize that she’s okay with you doing something for yourself. You never quite discussed the prospect of getting back out there with your kids–and not even intentionally. It just never felt like the right time. 
“You could’ve stopped at the compliment, punk!” you grab her, then wrap her in your arms, “but thank you. Love you, bun.”
“Love you more, mama.” Neither of you make the effort to pull away. Instead, you both stand there. Hugging, breathing, embracing each other’s warmth. You don’t always get hugs this good, so when you do, you savor it. Drag it out until your arms and legs get all tingly. 
Or until someone interrupts. Another knock on the door. This time it’s Hana. 
“Ew, what’s going on?” Hana feigns a look of disgust. You know she’s just jealous; she’ll never admit it, though. Which is why sometimes you have to force her to participate. 
“Get over here,” you scrunch your nose, forcefully pulling her into your tight embrace. She tries to protest but eventually accepts defeat. You squeeze them both until they whine that they can’t breathe anymore. Then you squeeze them some more because this one’s for you. 
“My special girls,” you breathe in, taking in all of their love. Soaking it all up so that tonight you have the courage to try again. To allow yourself a love of your own. When you let go, there’s a sniffle from the closet. It totally dawned on you that Shoko was still on the phone. 
“They’re so big now, they don’t even know their auntie,” she fakes a sob, blowing her nose into a tissue. 
“Mom, who’s on the phone?” Haruki queries with a confused expression etched onto her face. It suddenly dawns on you again that although you’ve been communicating with Shoko again, you haven’t exactly told them. 
“Hey, you came in here to tell me something right, Han?” Your attempt to change the subject is poorly done, which doesn’t come as a surprise to you considering deflection has never quite been an ability you excelled at. Nonetheless, the look of suspicion they give you after is fleeting before they explain to you in unison that their father is here. 
“Your father’s been waiting down there this whole time and nobody cared to tell me?” you whisper-yell, left eye twitching to emphasize your ill-preparedness. The girls only shrug their shoulders in response, like this was something you were just supposed to know. 
“Well, you did force us into a hug and make us do all that Kumbaya stuff,” Hana mumbles under her breath.
“Okay, enough about all that. Are you guys all packed? Where are your bags? I don’t want your dad seeing–” 
“You don’t want dad to see your date, right?” Hana raises a brow, all knowing. Sometimes she was a little too smart for her own good. You want to blame that on the private schools Satoru had them enrolled in, but really you just know she’s just a menace in her own right. She learned that from him. 
“I agree with the kid,” a voice chimes in. You rush to the closet and grab your phone from the shelf. There’s a huge, shit-eating grin on Shoko’s face. Somehow she’s responsible for this. You don’t know how yet, nor do you have proof, but you know it. 
“Okay, thank you, love you, bye!” Before you can hang up, Shoko blurts something. 
“Tell him I said hi,” she begins, “–andnottogetahardonwhenheseesyou!”
You hang up the call and roll your eyes, chuckling to yourself because of her idiocy. When you enter the corridor, you hear a faint sound of hushed voices from downstairs. It’s only when you round the bannister at the top, when those voices become discernible and louder. 
You stop at the top, and when your eyes meet his, it feels like all the air in your lungs have expelled. Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of what you’re wearing, and the fabric, and the way it clings to your body. Neither he, nor you, look away–you should, you want to, but you don’t. 
And in the time the two of you gaze upon the other, time stops for a modicum of a second. In this second, you and him are the last two souls in the world. At least, that’s how it feels anyway before he breaks eye contact. 
You shift your gaze shortly after, and put on a trained smile. Those eyes of his were always so intense. You guess you forgot over the years how easy it was to lose yourself in the crystalline pools of them. Gathering your wits, you resume your movements and saunter down the imperial staircase. 
“Hey, didn’t mean to keep you waiting. Sort of lost track of time, but I think the girls are all packed,” you say, your voice coming to a decrescendo upon noticing the way his eyes trail over your frame. They’re unreadable, though. Indifferent, and honestly, you’re not sure how to feel. So, you begin fidgeting uncomfortably with the rings around your finger. 
Then, he smiles. It’s eerie and fake. “Not a problem, I haven’t been here too long. But, uh,” he begins ambling around the place, touching random objects around the living room, “Didn’t know you had plans. What’s the occasion? Going out for drinks with your colleagues?” 
You furrow your brows, confused with his sudden interests in your plans. It wasn’t really like him to prod. “No, actually,” you rock back-and-forth on the balls of your heels, “i’m…i’m going on a date,” you finish with a pursed smile. He only nods his head in response, still walking around the place touching stuff, messing with the picture frames on the mantle. They’re all crooked now. 
“How come this is the only picture you have up of me,” he asks suddenly. You know, that he knows, the answer to that. And he knows, that you know, you’ll indulge in his games anyway. 
“The girls wanted them in their rooms. Why do you ask? You want me to go grab them and put ‘em all up around the house?” Again, he doesn’t say anything. Just gives you a final once over before heading back to the foyer to ask if the girls are all set to go. 
“Yeah, but I can’t find my tablet, dad. Can I go look for it?” Haruki speaks up. “I thought I packed it.”
Satoru looks at the time on his watch, pinches the crease in between his brows. “Sure, kiddo. Can we make it quick, please?” He throws his hand in the air for emphasis, then points to his watch. Haruki nods, then runs up the stairs. 
“Actually, you go on up too and help your sister. You guys are holding up dad,” you turn to Hana and gesture for her to head up with your head. She rolls her eyes, yelling up the stairs for her younger sister to ‘freaking hurry up’. 
You and Satoru both turn to each other with wide eyes, laughing at the nerve of those children. 
“They get that attitude from you, you know,” you point to him, driving your index finger into his bicep. 
“You sure? Their mom’s got a pretty bad mouth on her, too. Or, have you forgotten?” He teases, bending his knees slightly to level his eyes with yours, intruding into your space. The smirk he dons is cheeky, too friendly–too inviting. You want to smack it off of him. 
“Oh, shut u–” the sound of your phone chiming interrupts your banter. It’s a message from Kazuki, and you open it while Satoru stands over you. Probably close enough to read the message on his own if he wanted. 
Kazuki: Hey, I hate to do this but I don’t think I can go through with tonight. 
When you read the message, your heart drops into your stomach. There goes the other shoe, you think, fully embracing your pessimism. Who were you kidding, really? To think that tonight you’d go out and have a good time. Do something for yourself. It was stupidity. 
Chat bubbles pop up on the screen. He has more to say. 
He has more to say, and you’re fighting the urge to cry–to not shake out of sheer frustration while you’re still standing in front of Satoru. Because nothing would be worse than him seeing you can’t even land a date. 
Kazuki: I recently just went through a divorce, and I know that I should have informed you about this before continuing our conversations…Especially since you’ve been so transparent with me about your own divorce and strife.
Kazuki: But if I’m being completely honest, I was scared. I genuinely wanted to see this through, at first. I wanted to forget about my ex-wife for just one night. But I realized I’ve been asking the impossible of myself…I’m still in love with her, and it’s because I’m in love with her that I won’t allow myself to lead you on any further. 
Kazuki: I think we would’ve had a good time tonight. It's unfortunate we had to meet under such circumstances because you’re a really lovely woman, and I’m sorry an asshole is standing you up right now. 
Kazuki: Take care. I know there’s a guy out there just waiting for his shot. 
Satoru takes notice of the way your face drops as you read over the messages. Part of him wants to overstep his boundaries and take a peek at the screen. But he doesn’t. He gives you your space and takes a seat on the couch, waits for you to say something first. 
In the meantime, he studies your face. Watches intently as your eyes become glossy the more you scan the messages, watches as your bottom lip catches between your teeth to hold back from crying. He thinks he knows what just happened. 
Taking a deep breath, you lock your phone and put on another trained smile, “Well, looks like I’m staying in tonight.” Satoru dislikes when you do that. When you put on a fake smile and overcompensate to make others around you feel better, even when it’s so very obvious you aren’t. He wishes that sometimes you would just be selfish–act out. 
And then you continue the façade. It makes his skin itch. 
“I was too tired anyway, guess I can just catch up o–”
“Will you stop,” he spits, rising from his seat on the couch to stand. It comes out harsher than he intended, but he doesn’t regret it. You look at him like he’s got two heads as he walks over to the mantle and leans against it. His back is turned towards you, and the palms of his hands hold the crest of it. He uses it as leverage to rock on the heels of his feet. You can tell there’s something he wants to say because of the way his jaw ticks. 
Satoru is never one to bite his tongue, so you’re not exactly sure why he’s choosing to be so restrained. If he wasn’t going to spit it out, you were going to poke. “What’s your problem?” 
He chuckles at this, rubs his chin then pushes off the mantle to stand in front of you, gets all in your space again. The movement almost sends you back but you hold your ground, tilt your chin up at him and repeat the question. Slowly, this time with more venom. 
“My problem? What’s your problem?” He breathes through his nose, his eyes flickering back-and-forth between your own. “Why do you always pretend like you’re not lonely? It’s okay if you were looking forward to having fun tonight. It’s okay to be upset and be mad at the asshole who stood you up!”
With every verbal prod at you, the gap between you decreases. His feet inch closer and closer to your own and force you to retreat farther until your back hits the wall. The coldness of it causes your breath to hitch, and you try to stay calm as Satoru encroaches more into your personal space. Being on the receiving end of his passion was always suffocating, you feel exposed under the intensity of his gaze–even more so as he continues to tear into you. 
“Why do you even care?!” you cut him off, eyes wide and veins pumping full of adrenaline. “It’s not your place to be so invested in my life anymore! We’re not together, you don’t have to get so hot and bothered about things going shitty for me. I’m a big girl, and I’m perfectly capable of fighting my own battles.” 
By the time you finish, you’re a heaving, shaking mess. He takes this as a sign to withdraw from your space, and goes to sit back down on the couch. When you finally settle your nerves, you join him, leaving a foot of space in between you. There’s an awkward silence, one that wouldn’t have even happened if he just respected your boundaries in the first place. Now he feels like the asshole instead of the actual asshole who dumped you. Taking a hesitant breath, he decides to speak up. 
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t…It wasn’t my intention to come off so strong like that,” he begins, “I just wanted to let you know that you don’t always have to pretend to be fine. It’s not fair, you shouldn’t do that to yourself.” His eyes wander over to you reluctantly, like he’s scared that if he looks too long you’ll disengage from the conversation. 
“It’s okay,” your voice is small, just above a whisper. You want to face him, but you know that if you do, you'll break into a million pieces. So you keep your gaze downward, busy yourself with the stray pieces of thread on the bottom of your dress. “You’re right, you know. I think I just…I think I just tell myself to expect disappointment so that when something bad happens, I’ll know it’s not because I got my hopes up.” 
Satoru turns to you, and you can see him frown through your peripheral. Still, you don’t face him because you’re not done talking. But you thank him silently for listening without interrupting. 
“Even though you’re right, I don’t appreciate the way you came on so strongly. We’re not married anymore, we’re not a couple–we’re co-parents. So if there’s something I want you to know about that’s outside of the scope of our kids, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, leave it alone.”
Satoru’s face softens. For once you’re being selfish, putting your foot down. This is the side of you he likes. “Okay. I respect that,” he says, “But can I ask you something?” The smile on his face is mirthful, like he’s got something else up his sleeves this evening. Skeptical, you finally face him with a raised brow. 
“What?”
“Let me take you to dinner.” 
You laugh in his face, even go as far as smacking his arm because you want him to know you found the joke really funny. He doesn’t budge, and that’s when you realize he’s being serious. 
“Wait, what?” 
“Let’s go to dinner,” he stands up, crossing his arms across his chest. You tilt your head in disbelief. You’re just waiting for someone to tell you you’re on that old reality show punk’d. 
“Funny, I just poured my heart out to you and now you’re making fun of me,” you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance. 
“I’m being serious,” he reassures, “you’re already dressed up. It’d be a shame for it to go to waste.” His eyes are twinkling with hope, and once again, you find yourself falling victim to their persuasiveness. 
Being under Gojo Satoru’s gaze was suffocating. 
Giving in, you ask, “So what are you gonna do? Drive all the way home to get dressed?” 
The question is genuine, but the bastard just grins. “I’m a little hurt,” he throws a hand over his heart, “don’t you know me by now? I’m a businessman. I keep pressed blazers and slacks on me at all times.”
He swings his keys around his index finger, hoping that the promise of a spare change of clothes being in his car is enough to convince you to say yes. 
“I don’t know…” you trail. 
“C’mon, let me take you out. I promise you won’t regret it.”
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Somehow he was able to persuade you into going out. After he changed into his spare clothes, you ended up telling your girls that there was gonna be a change of plans, and that they’d go home with their dad tomorrow. 
Of course, before leaving, you made sure to leave some money on the table for pizza, and you also made sure to drill into their heads not to open the door for anyone except the delivery guy. You knew they knew the drill already, but it didn’t feel right to leave without saying it anyway. 
“Be good, listen to your sister, she’s in charge,” you pinch Haruki’s cheek. Hana smirks, nodding her head in agreement with you. 
“I will mom, I know,” she huffs, crossing her arms.
“And you,” your finger wags at Hana, her smirk drops. “Don’t provoke your sister, be nice. Act like you love each other, please.” 
“Fine, whatever. I guess,” she grabs the knob to the door, ready to kick the both of you out already. “So does this mean the two of you are back together, or?” 
Satoru and you turn to each other before answering in unison, “No.” 
“Okay, cool. Well, have fun,” she practically closes the door on the two of you, locking it after. Satoru is just as dumbfounded as you are, but then you break into a fit of laughter. 
“Those kids, man.”
“Your kids!” you correct, pushing him playfully as the both of you walk down the pebbled pathway. He finds his equilibrium in time to unlock the car and open your side of the door. You pause before ducking inside.
“Oh, how gentlemanly of you,” you jest, “And they say chivalry is dead.”
“How could it be when I’m alive?” He says matter-of-factly, closing your side of the door. He taps the top of the car before sliding across the hood to the other side. Nice to see some things never changed. 
When he gets inside and turns on the car, he puts his hand on the back of your seat to back out. The proximity sends a shiver down your spine, and you have to physically refrain from letting your eyes linger on his jaw, and his arms, and the face he makes when he’s trying to concentrate. 
You try to dispel these less-than-friendly thoughts by looking somewhere, anywhere else but him. But you can’t, and it’s irritating. 
This is the second time tonight you’ve been this close, and it’s only this time that you realize something about him is…different. Earlier, he didn’t really smell like anything, but you quickly notice his smell has changed. 
There’s a sort of piney scent coming from him. It’s not strong or obnoxious enough to blind your nostrils, but it’s enough for you to just barely pick up on it. You almost think it was premeditated, that he took the liberty of spritzing some on before walking you to the car. Before you separated, he’d made it a habit to wear variations of woody scents for you. If you can recall correctly, a passing comment you made about the cologne he was wearing that day is what sparked the habit. 
Surely, this couldn’t be coincidental? 
“You smell nice,” you blurt, filling in the silence. 
Satoru glances at you, “Thank you.” You hate that from the corner of your eye, you can see his stupid little smirk growing bigger by the minute. He already had a big ego, it didn’t need to be stroked any more. 
“Don’t let it go to your head, though. You usually smell pretty rank.”
“Ohhh, is that so? Guess I gotta start wearing this more often then, huh?”
“Sure, do what you want,” you say, trying to remain indifferent even though you’re failing terribly to hide your smile. When the car approaches a red light, you finally decide to ask the big question. “So where are you taking me?” 
“You’ll see,” he glances over, “Just know I’m good friends with the owner, so last minute reservations weren't a problem.” 
The rest of the car ride is silent, save for the low hum of the music playing on the radio. When you arrive at the location, Satoru makes sure to walk all the way around to your side of the door again and open it. Immediately after, the two of you are greeted by a young male. He’s wearing a white button down, black slacks, and a black vest with a red tie. Judging by his appearance, you assume he’s a valet driver. 
Satoru drops his keys in the driver’s hands, and escorts you towards the entrance. The boy bows and goes to park the car. Looking around, you start to wonder where exactly this place is supposed to be. The area is dark and secluded, and from where you stand outside, it doesn’t sound like there’s supposed to be a restaurant here. You don’t hear any voices, you don’t even see any security or other passerbyers. 
Still, you follow behind him like a duckling, only coming to a halt when he leads you to a door taller than the both of you. He gestures for you to back up, then raises his knuckles to blow a strong, single knock. You’re taken by surprise when a set of angry eyes appear behind a slot in the door. 
The pair of eyes first scan over you, then Satoru. A gruff voice is second to accompany them, “Where can I get a good drink?” 
“I heard the bar down the street is nice,” Satoru answers. The hatch to the door closes, then swings open the door, and the man behind it moves aside to welcome you in.
“Follow me, please.” Once he closes the door, he begins guiding you down the dimly lit hallway. After making what seems like your hundredth turn, you eventually reach a staircase. The man gestures for you to go on ahead, and you think this is him implying where the three of you will depart.
“Thank you,” you say softly, disappearing down the stairs. Satoru isn’t too far behind, keeping a pace between you. As you near the end of the long, narrow hallway, a stream of white light brightens up your whole path. It leads you down to another door like a beacon of light, and when you reach it, you can hear voices, live music, and dishes clanking on the other side. It’s bustling with life. A huge, joyous smile plasters across your face. It’s almost child-like in appearance, like you haven’t seen something this cool in a long time. 
Satoru stands beside you and winks. “What d’ya think? Any idea yet where we are?” 
“I think this is fucking cool, and hm,” you take a second to mull it over, “are we at a speakeasy?” 
“Smart girl. Now come on.” Stepping back, you allow him to pull open the door, and when he does, there isn’t a word to describe the atmosphere of the place you step into. All you can do is stand there in astonishment. Before long, a man walks up to you. 
“Welcome, what is the name you reserved under?” 
“Gojo.”
Nodding, the host instructs you to follow after him. He leads you to a private seating area, somewhere far in the back that’s secluded from the other patrons. The space is much bigger, and much more extravagant. You know you’re only sitting way back here because Satoru is who he is. And in all the years you’ve known him, his connections were just another party trick in his arsenal. 
The hostess seats you, then Satoru, and tells you that a waiter will be with you shortly. 
“This is nice, really nice, but is it–”
“Legal?” he finishes your sentence, “don’t worry. It’s a modern speakeasy-style restaurant. There’s nothing illegal going on here, promise.” 
While you wait for your designated waiter, your focus shifts from the man in front of you to the man singing on the stage. Up until now, his voice was white noise in the background, but then he started singing a tune scarily reminiscent of your past–and your breath catches in your throat. 
If I ever leave you, baby
You can say I told you so
And if I ever hurt you
You know, I hurt myself…
Turning your gaze back to Satoru, you squint your eyes mirthfully in disbelief. You wonder if this is just a funny coincidence, if this is the universe playing her tricks, but you know deep down, that coincidences and Gojo Satoru don’t belong in the same sentence. 
You open your mouth to speak, but quickly close it when you see the waiter approaching from the corner of your eye. He greets the both of you with a polite smile, then sets down two glasses of water. 
“Good evening, I’ll be your waiter for the night,” he says, placing a menu in front of you, “Can I get you fine folks started off with a bottle of wine?” 
Satoru nods, tells him to bring the best bottle of red they have and then gestures for him to come closer so that he can whisper something in his ear. All the while, you sit back in your seat observing, clicking your nails on the table until the server pulls back and bows. 
When he departs, you immediately lean in over the table, and ask, “Just how much time did you have to plan all of this?” 
Satoru feigns aloofness, taking a sip of his water, “What do you mean?” 
You roll your eyes, gesturing at the stage with your eyes. Then, as if suddenly coming to a realization, he goes, “Oh, that? Yeah, I had nothing to do with that. But isn’t it funny they’re playing our old song?” 
Now he’s smirking, with his elbow leaning back on the chair, and a gaze so piercing, you’re certain you’ll crumble into nothing unless you look away. So you do, avert your gaze back to the stage and sway calmly. 
Is that any way for a man to carry on
Do you think I want my loved one gone
Said I love you
More than you’ll ever know
More than you’ll ever know
“So funny,” you counter. 
Eventually, the server comes back with a bottle. “1982 Chateau Latife Rothschild,” he holds it out to present, “Is this alright?” 
Despite the years spent with Satoru, and the many elitist events you often attended with him, your knowledge on wine had never surpassed anything but surface level. You knew the difference between good wine and cheap wine was the taste, but your taste buds had grown accustomed to store-bought, so if anything, store-bought tasted like heaven to you. Anyway, though, you nod your head and urge him to pour a glass. 
“Thank you,” you smile, before gently swirling the glass and bringing it up to your nose to smell (something you only know to do after being the odd man out at so many company banquets). Satoru waits for you to sip your glass before he sips his. The way you melt into your seat is a silent assurance that you’re pleased. 
“This is great, you’re amazing,” you tell the server, who seems pleased by your compliment. 
“Glad to be of service, miss. Are you ready to order?” 
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Dinner goes by smoothly. In fact, it goes by so smoothly, you and Satoru finish the entire bottle of wine. Now you sit at the table, bellies full, faces flushed and sore from laughing, and now you find yourself telling him about the grocery store incident. If you had half a mind (a sober one), you’d shut up right this second to save yourself from the embarrassment. But you don’t. And Satoru’s very persuasive when you’re tipsy. 
“Keep going,” he leans in, hand nestled under his chin. He’s completely invested in the story. Actually, as soon as he heard the words ‘store’ and ‘cute guy’, he just had to know more. And you begging him to change the subject didn’t help, not when the sadist in him loved to see you so embarrassed. 
“Fine,” you hiccup, “It was so - so bad, Toru.” He doesn’t miss the way you slip and call him by the nickname you’d always reserved for him. It makes his heart race, and god, does he miss the way it sounds spilling from your lips. But he ignores the feeling, and refocuses on your story instead. Which, by the way, was proving to be a task in itself because his eyes couldn’t stop drifting back down to your lips. So soft, so–
“And then she said ‘we don’t believe in rings,’” you whisper, fist coming down on the table. The sound it makes nearly sobers you up, and you realize just how loud you’re being despite your table being secluded from others. Giggling like a kid, you continue, “I mean, how fucking insane is that?!” 
“Something as bizarre as that could only ever happen to you,” he replies, laughing along with you, “those people were crazy.” 
“The craziest,” you agree, throwing your head back in another fit of laughter. Gradually, the two of you begin to settle down, and once again, you find your attention being drawn back to the man on the stage. Only this time, he’s making an announcement.
“Good evening ladies and gentleman. Tonight I’ve got a special request,” he says, looking out into the audience. Looking at you. “This one’s for a very special lady who, from what I’ve been told, is a great mother that needs to start doing things for herself.” 
The singer steps out of the spotlight and hands the note to a server. Your server. Then he begins to sing, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. It was your wedding song. 
[...] I don’t even know how to love you
Just the way you want me to
But I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)
Yes, I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)
“Now this one? This one was me,” Satoru leans forward, and you swiftly turn your head to face him. He smiles as he watches your face go through ten different emotions before ultimately softening. It warms your heart to see how incredibly planned this evening was, despite the amount of time he was given to work with. Even so, it kind of scares you–because then that meant this was a grand gesture–that this was his way of saying something. And you weren’t too sure if you wanted to hear it. Your gaze drops to your lap, and Satoru frowns. 
To fall in love 
To fall in love
To fall in love with you…
“Look at me,” he says softly, but you don’t. “Hey, look at me.” He reaches over the table to take your chin in between his fingers. The touch alone feels electric. Sends liquid hot lightning down the column of your spine. Reluctantly, you meet his gaze, and like always, it’s suffocating. They’re so wide with hope, and so, so gentle in the way they hold you. The longer you gaze upon them, the more you convince yourself it’ll be okay if you surrender to them. 
“It’s been years since we’ve divorced,” his voice is shaky, almost strained, like he’s actively thinking how to choose his words carefully, “and when we sat down that night, I thought it was what I wanted, too, you know? And for a while, it was,” he reaches a hand across the table to rest atop your own, “but you gotta know…you gotta know–you’re it for me. There’s no one else on this Earth that I want to start over with. You’ve always been the beginning and end of my story, and I’ll be damned if I let another man start one with you.”
Your heart is beating faster than you can even process what he’s saying. The only thing you’re focused on is not passing out in the middle of this damn restaurant. But then he’s squeezing your hand, and your focus is drawn back to those piercing, pale blues that even put crystals to shame. 
“So what do you say?” he says, so softly, so tender. “Can we try again?”
Waiting for your reply, he squeezes your hand again. It’s like your soul is wandering the line between death and the living, and his touch is the tether that brings you back. In the background, the tune of the song sung at your wedding gives you a push of courage. 
I don’t even know how to kiss your lips (kiss your lips)
At a moment like this
But I’m going to learn how to do 
All the things you want me to
Yes, I’m ready
(Are you ready?) Yes, I’m ready
To fall in love
To fall in love
To fall in love right now
“Yes.”
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The walk back to the car is hurried. Aided by both, years and years of built up tension, and the liquid courage currently bubbling in your systems. 
The race back to his apartment is even faster. You thank the gods silently that it’s within close proximity to where you just were. 
Once you get there, make your way past the doorman and concierge (who both give the two of you a knowing look), go up the elevator, and finally get into his loft–it’s over. Years of restraint, years of pretending, wanting–yearning, come crashing down. 
There’s barely any time to close the door before he’s pushing you against it. His lips trail down the column of your neck, then come up to kiss your jaw, until eventually, they find your lips. And when they do, it’s instantaneous–that familiar feeling, the feeling that feels almost like falling. 
Once again, for what felt like centuries, you feel again the rush of helplessness. The push and pull of the tide. It brings you down, down, down to the bottom of the ocean floor, and it’s unmerciful. 
Kissing Satoru is like being shocked with ten thousand volts of energy. Like all this time you’ve spent not kissing him, has been costing you your life, and he’s the only one who can deliver you salvation. It’s all teeth and tongue for a minute. Messy, and sticky, and nasty. A true testament to the desperation brewing in the pits of both your stomachs. 
The sensation of it all has your knees going slack, and that’s when he says–
“Jump.” 
Obeying, you do just that. Jump right into his arms, and wrap your legs around his torso like you’ve done so many times before. The way you feel now is the way you used to feel before then, too. Like you were made to fit like this. To be held in his arms like you were molded from the same clay. 
Carefully, he adjusts his grip on your body. Keeps his palms planted on the bottoms of your ass, and begins the trek to his room. He struggles a bit getting there because you haven’t stopped kissing since entering the apartment, but he figures it out after a stumble or two (which resulted in a bitten lip and you apologizing profusely through giggles). 
“The turbulence up here is crazy, don’t blame me, blame the pilot,” you jest, kissing down his neck to make up for it. 
“I’ll make sure to let him know,” he jokes back. As soon as he gets to the bed, he sets you down at the edge of the bed. You try to bring him down to your height but he stops you, wags his finger in your face playfully before using it to push you back into the bed. His fingers start to play with the fabric of your dress, and then his face takes on an indifferent expression. The same one from earlier that night when he first saw you walking down the stairs. 
“Can’t believe you were gonna wear this for him…” he trails, lifting the fabric up slowly, eyeing you while doing so, “as if this dress doesn’t mean something.” 
Of course, when Shoko chose it, its significance did make you falter–but in your defense, not once did you ever anticipate for him to see you in it. And you especially didn’t expect for him to remember it, the last time you wore it was almost a decade ago. 
“I didn’t…” you start, a smile creeping on your lips, “think you remembered?”
“‘Course I did, how could I not?” He says more sharply than intended, taking offense. He takes offense because he spent the better half of the night showing you he remembered. The little things and everything else in between. Couldn’t you see that?
“It was our 4th anniversary. Bought you this dress and fucked you in it that same night. Funny how the second time I’m seeing you in this dress, the circumstances are the same except only this time we’re divorced,” he says, crawling over your body. “Guess I gotta show you just how much I remember.” 
With that, he slips a hand under your dress, pulls your panties to the side and runs a finger down your slit. Oh-so-willingly, do you spread your legs for him. It’s almost subconscious, the way your body responds to him. And he revels in it. Lets his fingers work you, feel you, bring you to ecstasy. Then he heightens your pleasure tenfold when he kisses his way down your body, and takes a seat before you on his knees. 
Unceremoniously, he pulls your body to the edge of the bed. Takes his time slipping your panties down the length of your legs, then kisses the insides of your thighs, before finally stopping at your mound. 
Slowly, he lowers himself to your cunt, kisses your clit softly. Once, twice, three times. The pace in which he’s moving is killing you, to say the least. But you know he’s savoring the moment, making up for all the years he spent not kneeling like this between your legs. So you let him; let him caress you all over before he comes seeking the honey-sweet salvation dripping from your core. 
The second his tongue makes contact with your heat, you find yourself clamping a heavy hand over your mouth. “Fuck, Toruuuu,” you drawl, back arching off the bed. Pleased with his abilities, he smiles smugly, using this as an opportunity to push himself even deeper. Up and down, he licks at your slit, uses his fingers in tandem with his tongue to prod at that spongy spot he knows you love. 
“Tastes,” a harsh suck, “so good,” another, “better than I remember.” 
You know he’s talking, but his words fall on deaf ears. You’re so caught up in your own high, you don’t even take notice of the obscene sloshing sounds coming from your pussy, or the moans you’re making. All you can do is lay there and take it as he takes, and takes, and takes from you. 
Soon, you find your orgasm cutting through you like a knife, and you come with a strangled cry that has you biting back tears. Satoru talks you through the whole thing. He lays his head down on your thigh and continues working you with his fingers until you start to shake from the overstimulation. 
For a few, you lay and stare at the ceiling. You think you can see the Milky Way–and all the constellations that make it up. It feels like your soul is floating beyond your physical body, and you don’t come back down to Earth until a sharp, stinging sensation brings you back. Did he just?
“Did you just bite me?” you lift your head, peering down to see the evidence. In all its glory, there it was; a red ring smack-dab in the inside of your thigh with teeth imprints. Looking at Satoru, he grins. 
“Had to get you back from earlier,” he says, sitting back on his knees. You attempt to kick him with your foot, but he grabs hold of it. Pretending to be wounded, he gasps, “Is this how you treat the man who just gave you a soul-shattering orgasm?” 
You roll your eyes, but to your dismay, it only encourages him to continue. 
“Fuck, Toru,” he mimics, “oh my god, Toru. You fuck me so goo–”
“Alright, enough!” you manage to kick him this time, laughing as you bring up your hands to cover your face. “Keep carrying on like that and I won’t let you fuck me…” You’re serious in your bite, but he’s smirking. Like he knows you’re full of bullshit. 
“Yeah right. You and I both know I make you feel too good.” 
Feeling bested, you scoff, though, there’s no real weight behind it. While he begins to remove his shirt, you sit up and replace his hands. He relinquishes control and allows you to unbutton it until the item falls haphazardly to the floor. 
He’s so beautiful, you think. Still so chiseled, so perfect after all these years since you’ve last seen him like this. At his most vulnerable. The only difference now is that there are more freckles littered across his skin. Back then, he’d say they were signs of aging, and he’d hate them. 
But he’s older now. More mature. So much so that he even winks at you when you trace your fingertips over them.
“They suit you,” you whisper. 
“Yeah?”
You nod your head, “mhm.” 
Continuing your ministrations, you begin removing his belt. He holds your gaze the entire time it takes for you to unzip his pants and pull them down–and he doesn’t once shy away when you discover the wet spot on the front of his briefs. Slowly, delicately, you remove the soiled item and let it fall down to the floor with the rest of his clothes. 
Still looking at him, you take hold of his length and fist him once, twice, experimentally. A dribble of pre oozes from his slit and you bring it to your mouth. All the air in his lungs expel into the air when you lick it off with your tongue, and god, he thinks he could come from that alone. 
God, he’s missed you. Missed your touch, your lips–the way you hold him with your eyes like he’s something worth being gentle with. Nothing could ever compare to you, not even his own hand. 
As soon as you’re about to take him in your mouth, he stops you. Pushes you back down onto the bed and slots himself between your legs. “No more playing, I’m tired of playing,” he breathes, lowering himself down until half of his weight is on top of you. 
Guiding his cock to your entrance, he pushes past your folds with little resistance. The feeling of your cunt squeezing him in has his arms wobbling like jelly, but he musters enough strength somehow to stay up. You, on the other hand, are close to tears. 
The more he eases himself in, the more you feel like you’re being stretched open (despite him previously prepping you). If you were being truthful, this wasn’t a complete shock to you. You’ve known that he’s always been big, but something about tonight feels different. Or maybe it’s just been too long since you’ve had something more than just your own fingers. 
Even so, you try your best to ignore the burn of the stretch. You throw your arms around his neck and invite him deeper into you, hooking your legs around him so tightly that it renders his limbs useless. For a minute, all you can feel is the weight of him inside of you, and his chest against yours as they rise and fall asynchronously. 
“Toru,” your voice is just barely above a whisper, but enough to make the hairs on the nape of his neck stand. “Make love to me.” 
Heeding your request, he begins moving. Painfully slow, he unsheathes himself from you until only the head of his cock is inside, then pushes himself all the way back in with force. Again, and again, he repeats this motion. Pulls out, pushes in. Pulls out, pushes in, until he decides to increase his pace and set a steady rhythm. 
Every thrust into you is meticulously calculated. Sharp, and forceful, and not once does he disrupt the rhythm. He listens carefully to the sounds you make. Even listens to the way your breath hitches when he hits a spot right. Everything he’s doing is perfect–and it’s to no surprise. Deep down, you know that Satoru knows your body like the back of his hand. He’d know it if you were all old and wrinkly. He’d know it if his soul reincarnated. Hell, he’d know it blind. 
“Missed this,” he grunts, burying his head into the interstice of your neck, “missed you,” a kiss to your neck, “missed us.” 
The veracity of his words render you speechless. He’s already professed his feelings for you tonight, but it feels even more real now that you’re beneath him. To be loved by Gojo Satoru was a feeling many couldn’t say they had the consolation of knowing. Only a few in his circle could hold that position–but only one person in this world could truly ever know his love to its fullest extent. You. 
Satoru continues his mindless rambling, “I love you,” a thrust, “it’s always been you,” another, “was always going to be you.” Leaning back on his heels, he pushes your dress all the way up to reveal your breasts. Now it’s him who sits back and admires this time. As if he were reacquainting himself, he traces the planes and pastures of your chest with an eager hand. He runs it up and over each mound, squeezing and kneading the flesh experimentally. 
Then, he dips down and kisses the space between them. Sucks and licks until the skin bruises, and he has evidence to prove tonight actually happened. Eventually, he withdraws from your chest and returns his focus on easing his cock in and out of your cunt. 
“So beautiful,” he says, but it’s more to himself than anything. You’re so lost in your own pleasure, he doesn’t even think you can hear him. “Want you to cum on my cock, know you can do it, baby. Know you can,” he grunts, taking your hand and intertwining it with his own. Letting his head fall into your neck, he begins to quicken his pace. Fucks into you with everything he’s got and willing to give. 
“Toru,” you finally manage to say, “‘m so close, keep going. Do it - do it inside.” 
Do it inside. Do it inside. Do it inside. The thought is tempting, too tempting. It makes his dick twitch inside of you, and he swears if you say it again, he’ll actually do it. But he knows better than to listen to anything you say out of delirium. 
“Trust me, sweet girl,” he cradles your face, to which you lean into, “I want to - I want to so fucking badly. But we both know you’d regret it later.” 
Whining, your lips form into a pout, and the sight is so cute, he can’t help but to kiss it off of you. Compared to your kiss earlier, this one is much sweeter. Slower. More relaxed. He kisses you with the intent of making you dizzier than you already are, and it’s scary. Even so, you don’t pull away. You allow him to drink you up. Like your lips are the only source of water around, and he’s been quenched for days. 
Finally, with a few more thrusts, you reach your climax. The pressure building in the pit of your belly pops like a balloon, and everything goes white. “Toru!” you shriek, arching off the bed and trembling in his grasp. 
Using your arch as leverage, he keeps his hands underneath your back and continues to ram into you without abandon. You’re a babbling, wet mess at this point, and your cunt squeezing around him only encourages him more. 
“Fuckfuckfuck, ‘m gonna - ‘m gonna,” he curses, balls beginning to tighten. Quickly, he unsheathes himself and fists himself the rest of the way. With an impassioned moan, he climaxes–spurting thick, white, ropes of seed all over your abdomen. Then, falls onto your limp body with a grunt, chest heaving rapidly, and slick with perspiration. 
By this time, you’ve settled down enough to form a proper sentence. “That was…”
Satoru huffs, catching his breath. “Yeah.” 
Still spent, he continues to lay atop you. And you, having nowhere else to go, let him. The two of you lay comfortably in silence like this for a long time. Just you tracing shapes into his back, and him purring into your neck. Both of you know you should be getting up, but neither of you make an effort to do so. In this moment, time is transcendent. There is no rush to move when time stands still for you. 
Soon, that silence is broken. 
“I love you,” you say, and there’s no elaboration. Not even a recant. In fact, you say it so nonchalantly, he’s not even sure it was real. You say it like you’ve never been more certain in your life, like it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever had to do. 
“Really?” he queries, almost pathetically like the mere idea of you loving him is something unattainable. You look at him like he’s got two heads. 
“Yeah, you’re my best friend. I’ve always loved you,” you admit, pausing your ministrations on his back, “I just had to relearn how to love you.” He smiles at this, hums into your neck to keep from crying. 
“I’m glad we found our way back to each other,” he mumbles into your neck, “so where do we go from here?”
“From here we take it slow. We’ll learn together what it means to be individuals, and then from there we’ll see where it goes,” you say matter-of-factly, “no more repeating past mistakes.”
“Agreed,” he nods, “what will we tell the girls?”
That’s when your eyes widen and you sit up, forcefully pushing Satoru off of you. 
“What did I say, what’s wrong?” he queries, sitting up on the bed. He watches you rummage around the room maniacally, head on a swivel as you run out of the room and return with a purse. You pull your phone out to see a slew of missed calls and messages. 
“We forgot to call the girls!” You yell, showing him your phone screen of missed calls. Gojo jumps up to join you, one leg already sliding into his pants. 
“Shit!” 
Noticing the state of your appearance, you pinch the skin between your brows. “Satoru, I can’t wear this! You got cum all over it,” you groan, pointing to all the splotches of white. He tells you to wait a second before disappearing into his closet, then he comes back with a fist of clothes and throws it at you. 
“I can’t wear this either, they’ll wonder why I’m wearing your clothes!” 
Satoru runs to you and pull the dress off of your body, “We’ll wash it!” he screams, disappearing again out of the room, and to where you imagine, the laundry room. When he returns, he’s out of breath and panting. It’s only then do you realize how insane he looks with half his shirt buttoned, and his pants twisted around his hips. A giggle escapes your lips.
“What are you laughing at? Chop chop,” he claps, ushering you into his bathroom. 
Yeah, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss this idiot.
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© arachine 2023
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tripleyeeet · 8 months
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BLEED YOU DRY (1)
SUMMARY: When you awake to find Astarion attempting to drink your blood, you find yourself making a interesting decision.
PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader (reads as Gender Neutral but future chapters will be femme focused, just a heads up!)
WORD COUNT: 3,273
WARNINGS: Bloodsucking, that's about it?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, so I'm aware I'm way ahead of schedule for this Haunted Hoedown thing but I'm going to be gone for a few days in the middle of it so I figured I'd get a headstart now to make sure I get every day done but also to build the hype? Maybe?
Basically this is going to be a little twelve part miniseries based on prompts from this writing challenge. I'll make a masterpost either tonight or tomorrow with all the ones I chose, plus some other stuff, so you guys know what's going on!
The prompt for this particular day was "I want to watch you bleed."
CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER
-
The squirming tadpole behind your eye is what wakes you up. Its constant movement, wriggling from edge to edge quickly prompts you to groan and palm your eye, attempting to suppress the feeling as you blink through the darkness. It takes a moment to adjust —to feel that twitch of the creature die down— and when it does there’s a sigh of satisfaction that leaves your lips.
Despite how long it’s been, you’re not sure you’ll ever get used to the fact that you have a parasite living inside your mind. Even after experiencing the insertion firsthand, you often forget it’s there, looming behind your retinas, awaiting use every time you run into another. Normally it’s so still, barely inching out of place; sitting there, incubating within your thoughts. Tonight though, something’s urging its presence. Keeping it awake as you close your eyes again, scrunching up your face once it moves a second time.
Angrily, you sit up and turn your head, suddenly catching Astarion’s gaze, noticing the open-mouthed grin he offers in response. 
“Shit.”
You narrow your eyes, focusing on his teeth. How bared they are; ready to strike at a moment's notice despite the only food lying around being you. “Were you just about to bite me?” you ask and almost immediately he attempts to play it off as if it were nothing, scoffing and rolling his eyes. 
“I wasn’t going to hurt you if that’s what you’re insinuating. I was only going for a nibble.” 
You can feel your tadpole squirm. He’s telling the truth, albeit for reasons that are more selfish than he lets on. Despite seeming otherwise, he only wants to drink from you for strength —for energy. His desire to kill you is minuscule, lingering in the shadows of his mind for a potentially later day but surprisingly such notions don’t scare you. Astarion may be a bloodthirsty creature but for now, he’s an ally.
“And you didn’t think to just ask first?” You raise a brow at him, watching his expression twist into something bordering between confusion and interest. 
“I’m sorry, just ask?” he parrots, exploring your features and how they remain calm despite the context.  
He was expecting you to be angry. To throw some kind of fit and deny. It’s what any normal person would do, but considering the circumstances, offering up a little blood to build up the strength of someone on the same side is worth more than the annoyance that forms across your face. 
“Yes, like a normal person,” you chastise, taking in the scowl he offers in response. 
His brows furrow at the sound of your words, angling upwards to appear as sinister as possible, and you can’t help but snort. Something about his constant disapproval is almost humorous at this point.
“Normal? Darling, I’m a creature of the night. A blood sucking fiend. A—“
“Vampire, yes, we’re all well aware given the teeth.” You poke at your own canine, tapping the enamel with open lips just as he swallows hard and narrows his eyes. 
“Yes, well, obviously considering such details I thought it inappropriate to ask. People don’t typically agree to such perilous sounding terms,” he says, voice light and airy. Casual, you might say, despite the context. 
“So instead you were just going to go for it?” You raise your brow, a smirk playing across your lips as he rolls his eyes. 
“Seemed like the best possible option… at the time.” 
You offer him a quiet ah, nodding your head as the two of you remain still, watching each other. Trying to gauge how the other is feeling without the use of your tadpoles. 
Based on what you know about Astarion you assume he’s too stubborn to ask. Now that he’s caught, regardless of whether or not he needs the blood, he’ll never find himself in a position to be desperate enough to say those simple little words. Being a man of persuasion, he’ll most likely just talk his way into it —make it seem like the whole thing was your idea in the first place before diving right in. 
It’d be respectable if you weren’t the victim. If it were Wyll or Gale and you were to bear witness to his deceptions, you’d fully support it. Encourage it even if he were to ask your opinion.
Since it’s you though, you can’t help but feel a bit frustrated. Astarion and you have never been particularly friendly. Having only been around each other for a few weeks, all you’ve talked about is the Illithid and how you plan to get rid of it —what you’ll do after it’s gone. But even the latter conversations hardly spark specific details. Mostly they’re just brief mentions of wanting to run away. To become hidden after the war is over. 
You assume someone’s looking for him based on the way he speaks and carries himself. When you’re on the move he hides within the pack, using you all as a shield while he looks around. Always on high alert, his ears twitch at any foreign sound, his eyes dart to meet the faces of anyone you may come across. At night, he’s always the one to keep watch and over time you’ve come to realize it isn’t just because he doesn’t sleep. It’s because he’s looking for someone. 
Even now, as he stands above you, you can see his eyes looking past you to focus on the underbrush. The way they narrow with focus, pushing past your face. He can sense something that you can’t —feel the eyes of some foreign presence staring at the two of you. 
You’re tempted to use the tadpole to find out what exactly it is but quickly refrain once you hear the shuffling of branches behind you followed by Astarion’s breath of relief. 
“You alright?”
His eyes shut for a split second. His chest heaves a single breath and in that moment you’re struck with an odd sense of sympathy. The feeling of pity laces throughout your thoughts as you imagine Astarion’s life before all of this. You imagine it isn’t great. Considering he’s a vampire, there’s probably at least an inkling of trauma there after living, dying and coming back as something other than yourself. No sane person would be the same after that, especially when taking into account all the symptoms. Before his transition, he could do mundane things. Enjoy the pleasantries of life like the sun and sleeping and food. 
Nowadays, all it seems he craves is blood and power. Flesh of whatever he can get his greedy little hands on. The upper hand in any possible argument. Both make what Astarion is on the surface, but looking at him now, wondering what else lies behind that thick, defensive coat of first impressions, you know there are other things. Nicer ones he refuses to showcase. 
They’re the details of his life before everything. Traits reserved only for himself, and for some uncharacteristic reason, you’re tempted to find out what they are. 
“If you need to…” Trailing off, you feel your stomach twist at the realization of what you’re about to offer. The consequences are high, maybe even too high, but perhaps the benefits could be deemed higher. At this point, you’re certain no one else will give him what he needs. They’re all too noble or guarded to allow Astarion, regardless of his current allegiance, to drink. 
They don’t trust him. And even though you find yourself in the same boat, feeling the skepticism of your words start to echo in the back of your mind, you know it’s the most logical thing to do. Sure, it may not be the right one. By a long shot, it’s probably one of the worst ideas you’ve ever had, but you know deep down that it’s necessary for your survival. To ensure that, when all this blows over and the potential of you going your separate ways occurs, Astarion doesn’t view you as an enemy.
“If you need to drink, you can.” 
His eyes widen only a bit. Just enough for you to notice the slight shock that spreads across his features. “I can?” 
There’s a reluctance you feel begin to bubble up but instead of acting on it you merely shut it down, nodding your head. “Yes, but only a little. Don’t want you bleeding me dry before this whole thing is all over.” 
Somehow that makes him laugh. “Oh, darling, I wouldn’t dream of such a thing.” 
You force yourself not to smirk as he lies through his teeth. Knowing him, he’d suck you dry if it weren’t for the fact that there’s safety in numbers. “Unfortunately for me this isn’t a dream.” 
“Fair point,” he replies, taking a short step forward. After that he slowly begins to crouch towards the ground, watching you closely —focusing on the rise and fall of your chest as his face falls mere inches from yours. “For now though, I promise to do no such thing.”
“And you’re certain you’ll keep it?”  
He hums, a grin pulling at his cheeks. “For now,” he muses. “In the future though…”
He’s so close you can feel his breath. Hot and heavy puffs pushed through a low, far too sultry tone of voice that has you pressing your lips together in a thin line. 
Out of everyone, Astarion’s always been the most intriguing. The one you’ve had this constant back and forth with, debating whether or not to approach or run. Aside from the obvious vampirism, it’s quite obvious that he isn’t like the others. From what you’ve been able to piece together, he doesn’t have a cause. A God or some sort of leader he’s willing to lay down the law for. He’s not noble like Wyll or faithful like Shadowheart. He’s just Astarion. A bloodied wolf all by his lonesome, following the rest of the pack. 
You’re sure he has desires like the rest of them. Wants and needs that’ll inevitably be gifted to him at the end of this —so long as you all survive. Like everyone else, he has a purpose in mind, but what that purpose is is unbeknownst to you thanks to the charm he offers in replacement of the truth. Because of this, he feels almost like a treasure chest. A trove of untold riches kneeling before you, tempting you to open. 
“I’m sure the future will have us far enough away from each other where that doesn’t happen, so I won’t worry.” 
Almost immediately, he can tell you’re fishing for information. The way his brow slightly upturns and the flirtatious grin across his face transitions into more of a smirk. It makes you internally curse, knowing that no matter how hard you try you’ll never beat him at his own game. His way with words is too precise. Too calculated, even for someone like you who grew up convincing people of your lies. 
“You never know. Perhaps after this is all over I’ll follow you. Linger amongst the shadows until the time is right.” 
You can’t tell if he’s kidding. His voice is too convincing to be completely certain, so you merely roll your eyes. “Yes, well, if you do decide to drink me to death, be sure to make it quick.” 
He clicks his tongue, leaning slightly further in. “What would be the fun in that though?”
There’s an unfamiliar ache inside your chest. A rupture of pain that wreaks havoc against your ribcage, pounding. Now that he’s close to you, you can assume it’s always been there but because he’s so good at posing a distraction you weren’t fully aware of it until now. 
“Fair point,” you repeat his words back to him, deeply inhaling just as the tadpole suddenly shifts in tandem with your chest. Ebbing and flowing across your inner eye in time with your shaky breath, you notice Astarion pick up on it, humming knowingly. 
“You fear me, don’t you?” 
Despite the answer being blatantly obvious, your lips remained sealed. Closed off, regardless of the truths the rest of your body spills. 
“It’s quite alright, darling. It’s normal. Creatures of the night are hardly meant to be trifled with.” 
He’s in your face now, a mere hair’s length away, once again baring his teeth. Against your lips, you can feel the movement of his words pushing through the air, coating you in further reluctance as the withheld breath inside you finally releases. As it hits his face, he blinks and pulls away. Ever so slightly giving you the space you need to recollect your thoughts and swallow back the fear. 
He’s terrifying. Even you have to admit that. Unlike Lae’zel he’s more calculated in his intimidation, opting to pull you in —to make you feel comfortable— before he ultimately strikes. Because of this, his threats feel more authentic. Less like simple tactics used to get you to back off. They aren’t words of warning —they’re promises. Declarations of a moment he’s more than willing to make a reality if given the chance.
“Do you want my blood or not, Astarion?”
Your patience is thin. Your chest is in pain and while the tadpole inside unwittingly reaches out to his, driving you both closer as he instructs you to lie back down and get comfortable, all you can feel is temptation. Desire. 
Upon resting your head, you feel the connection between you grow stronger. Inside, your head flashes with icy sensations that trickle down towards your neck. Small tremors of what’s to come as Astarion positions himself around you. 
When he leans down, there’s a moment where you think of retracting. This is all too sudden, you think. A mistake made in hopes of gaining the upper hand. Just moments ago you were made unaware of the full potential of Astarion’s charms, but now that you’re lying beneath him, awaiting the moment he sinks his teeth into your flesh, you can feel the regret begin to build.
“It won’t last.”
Pulling yourself from your thoughts, you look to see him staring over top of you. Both of his arms are planted on either side of your head, bending at the elbow so that he’s low and close. “I’m sorry?”
“The pain. It won’t last long, I promise.”
Strangely enough, he sounds sincere. Not that that means much when a good portion of the words that exit his lips are lies. Still though, instead of returning to that previous headspace you merely breathe and nod, waiting for the moment the tadpole’s connection vibrates with confirmation and Astarion begins to lean in. 
It’s a slow process. Above you, his shoulders shift, pushing his arm to cup the back of your head and expose your neck. Against your skull, Astarion tightens his grip to steady the endless thoughts that race through your mind as you share a glance. It’s small but important. A moment of recognition that tonight is not the night you die at his hand, but merely a preview of what might come if your paths wrongfully cross. 
At the last second, you give him a curt nod and feel him dip, running the tip of his tongue along your jugular before the presence of teeth poke holes through your flesh. At first, it's painful. The blood that’s sucked through your veins pulsates through the open wound in stinging waves as you feign a soft groan. Then Astarion’s grip around your head tightens at the sound, pushing you further into his mouth. Further into the euphoria he takes as the feeling transcends into something numbingly cold. 
Your eyes flutter shut at his continued feed. The feeling in your hands begins to fade even as you somehow find them moving to Astarion’s back, one of them pressing against his shoulder, the other finding purchase in his locks. At that point, you can feel Astarion moan against you, desperation filling his every cell as his teeth shift further into your neck, prompting your eyes to shoot open. 
He’s going to kill you at this rate. To drink you drier than an insect's husk, so, through half-conscious pushes, you tell him to stop. To let go and to keep his promise as you grip the roots of his hair and pull. 
As it happens you see his eyes shift to yours. They’re blown out completely, the whites of his eyes stained red to match his ruby pupils. For a moment, they remain locked to your half-lidded ones, honing in on the way they start to flutter again before you see them tightly close. Then he finds himself ripping away and gasping for air. Coughing through the thick blood that coats his tongue as he stares down at your neck.
The wound is only slightly gaping. Two well-defined puncture wounds sit side by side, but at the moment you can’t feel them. Instead, there’s still only numbness. A space of nothing that lingers between your head and chest, making you shift to sit up and place your hand there, finding more blood. 
“See? Over before you know it, right?” He laughs but all you do is glare. 
“You almost killed me.”
“Ah, yes, but notice the key word being almost.” 
If you weren’t so heavy-headed you’d punch him in the throat. Maybe strangle him if you could get the right angle. “Yes, fine, you’ve had your fun. Now, do you need anything else or am I fine to pass out now?” 
You expect him to say something else. To make some quip about the safety measures of post-bloodsucking, but he doesn’t. Instead, he merely inches closer, staring at you as he reaches for your bloodied hand and pulls it close. 
Once again, your tadpole wriggles against your will. Throughout your skull, it practically dances as Astarion glances down, taking two of your fingers into his mouth with careful precision. If anyone were to see they’d most likely faint at the mere lewdness of it. Frozen in time, your body refuses to move as he laps the blood off your skin, staring at you through hooded eyes that make you want to scream.
You’ve never been in this kind of position before. Sure, you’ve experienced many kinds of intimacy, both sexual and not, but somehow this feels different. Forbidden, in a sense. As if sharing this moment is not only wrong but also against some sort of ethical code. 
At first, you wonder if it’s because blood isn’t necessarily something that’s given. Always taken. In battle, it’s ripped from your skin through the means of injury. Punctured or sliced out of you at the hands of a sword. No bond goes along with it. No mutual agreement that any life will remain once the deed is over. 
But then you begin to think of Astarion. The elven vampire now infected with the Illithid. Like you, he’s been changed. Subtly shifted into something new. Overall, your transformation isn’t nearly as different as his. Before the infection, you could still enjoy the pleasantries of being human, but still, there’s this connection that draws you towards him. It makes its presence known within the tadpole. Throughout the movements that echo in your minds as Astarion cleans the last of the blood away, looking at you with soft eyes.
“I consider this a gift, you know,” he says, dropping your hand, and moving away to stand without so much as a thought. 
You blink back your confusion, trying your best to focus on the genuine-looking smile that appears as he takes a few steps backwards, never breaking eye contact until he telepathically adds I won’t forget it then stalks away. 
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luna0713hunter · 4 months
Note
Please more writing for shanks! It's so good
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Author's note : I've come back from the death!!!i just had one of my final terms today and saying im exhausted to bone is a misunderstanding. Anyways!!!i hope u enjoy this!!
A safe place to rest
Shanks x reader
Summary : being a pirate,may seem like an easy job. But after fighting marines and looking after your crewmates,you cant help but to feel exhausted.
Warnings : none,hurt/comfort,overworked reader,pet names such as "princess,darling and etc", gender neutral ,metion of blood
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘
Peeling the bloody shirt off of your body and throwing it on the wooden floor of the ship,you sit heavily on your bed and heave a heavy sigh; today was exhausting.
It started out like any other day;with you waking up to your crewmates loud banter and getting dressed as you made your way over to the kitchen to have a simple breakfast. Soon,a small land was found,and it was time for reloading the stuff you needed to sail off again.
Helping everyone was as always,a challenge. As you tried to stop your crewmates from making any mess,and at the same time remembering every single item on the list. And simply putting them in the storage had took all your afternoon rest. And if that wasnt enough,everyone on the ship had agreed to go out and drink because it's been a while since you had hit the land.
And if your day wasnt exhausting enough,all hell broke loose as you stepped inside the bar.
Everything was good for the first thirty minutes. That is,until a group of young marines had barged in; seemingly have heard from the locals about the pirates luring around.
The fight was ugly.
You take your head in your hands as the images of the fight flashes across your eyes;the sickly smell of blood still lingering in your nose.
Gods above,you were beyond tired. You were ready to crawl under your blanket and never get out,when a gentle knock broke you out of your trace.
You hastily throw a clean shirt on,and slowly open the door only to be greeted by a flash of red.
Shanks,your captain, gives you a small smirk as he takes in your appearance and leans against the door frame.
"comfortable there, princess?"
You give him a confused look before taking a good look at what you're wearing and then your cheeks are burning bright red. You swallow down your embarrassment and fold your arms against your chest with a slight pout.
"your fault for leaving it in my room,Cap."
Shanks lets out a free laugh and raises his single arm up in mock surrounder.
"dont get me wrong. I love to see you in my clothes more than anything."
You hum,a slight comfort taking place in your weary bones as you lean against the door as well.
"more than wine?"
Shanks leans slightly closer,and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear,and you try to look away when he gives you the softest smile.
"more than air itself,my dear."
You lean in his touch shyly and look up at him from under your lashes.
"would you like to come in then, captain?"
Shanks nods and closes the door behind himself.
Its not his first time in your room;after all,its been a while since the two of you started dating. But it still made you slightly awkward having him in your messy room.
A slight tug at your hand and warm fingers interwining with yours,makes you look at the red haired man standing in front of you.
"what're you thinking about,doll?"
And just seeing him there;in the comfort of your own room and under the soft glow of the candles;in his cloths,has you letting out a soft sigh and leaning your forehead against his shoulder.
"I'm just... exhausted,Shanks. Today was alot. Everything is alot."
A strong arm wraps itself around your shoulders and pulls you flush against his chest. You feel Shanks' lips press firmly against the crown of your hair and you close your eyes upon the feeling.
"Take the day off tomorrow. No,take a week off;a month if you need,my dear. It kills me to see you wear yourself thin,and I've been meaning to ask you to take a break. Lets just,rest until you feel better yeah?" You raise you head up and look at him,only to see him smiling softly;his hand caressing your hair, "no need to push yourself. My princess deserves the best."
You blink rapidly;only to get rid of the stray tears stinging your eyes. A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips before you're pulling yourself up on your tiptoes,and pressing your lips to his stubbled cheek.
"i appreciate it,Cap."
A horse chuckle escapes his lips,and before you know it, you're being lead to your bed.
"then how about we start from sleeping this awful night off. What do you say?"
And when you pull him down along with you and let out a relaxed sigh as you lay your head on his chest,a genuine smile finally blooms on your lips.
"sounds just wonderful,my love."
And you let the sound of Shanks' soft breathing and waves,lull you to sleep.
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irisintheafterglow · 5 months
Text
living in winter, I am your summer
summary: you try teaching satoru how to figure skate and for once, he's not good at something. (hockey player!gojo)
wc: 0.8k
cw/tags: swearing, established relationship with pet names, probably inaccurate terms of ice skating, short and sweet little drabble
note: okay i won't even lie, i do not like ice skating. i much prefer rollerskating because at least when you're rollerskating, you fall on something dry. when you fall on the ice, it's cold and wet and your ass still hurts. however i love watching the ice dancers in the olympics because they're so graceful and i could literally never. also small fic of this because i'm feeling a little unmotivated but hockey player!gojo makes me happy. hope you enjoy! this one's for you midi
likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated :)
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“Okay, now put your hand down here…not there, doofus,” you instruct with a smile, guiding his hands to your waist. If he caught the shiver that shot up your spine, you’d just write it off as the chill of the rink. Not that he’d care, anyway. He always knew what he did to you, and he loved it.
“In my defense, you said to put my hands lower,” he mutters in your ear and you snort, lightly knocking your elbow backward into his chest. He’s wearing the black crewneck that you liked to steal from his closet whenever you stayed over, the one with the blue heart you embroidered on the inside of the left sleeve. “I’m following directions, am I not?”
“You know, maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” you say quickly and he takes the bait without fail. Before you can even shift weight to push away from him, his hands are back on your body and holding you as close as humanly possible. He hums mindlessly, taking the opportunity to kiss the spot behind your ear that always made you melt. “You’re a terrible student.”
“You’re a terrible teacher,” he fires back. “Alright, what do I do now? Just chuck you across the ice?”
“I’m going to kill you if you do that,” you warn, turning to look at him over your shoulder and finding nothing but a grin as blindingly white as the ice beneath your skates. “So, all you need to do is just grab my waist and very carefully lift me off the ice. Can you handle that?”
“Pfft, I can lift you in my sleep. Are you ready to go flying?”
“I can’t believe you convinced me to do this,” you say to no one in particular before strong hands secure around your waist and lift you a few feet off the ice. They’re shaky, nothing as steady as the actual partners you’ve danced with, but the giddy dancing that follows after you’ve touched the ground again is enough to make you happy. Before you can turn around and congratulate him on not ending your skating career, Satoru’s taken off across the ice in absolute joy. Distant sounds of his blades slamming into the ice as he sprints across the rink echo through the empty space. “Okay, get back over here! No more lifts until you can jump!” 
“I can jump right now, just watch me!” There’s a loud curse and a thud as he falls to the side, unable to keep his balance after throwing himself into a jump. “That was a practice run,” he says with no less enthusiasm. “However, maybe I need an example first.” Over the course of a few hours, you manage to teach him to do a simple jump and how to spin around more than two times in one go. To your surprise, he isn’t good at any of it. His limbs are too lanky for him to control properly, he’s used to having both blades on the ground and can barely balance on one foot, and he likes to skip any technique and try a skill right after you show him how to do it. 
“Fake it ‘til you make it just isn’t working right now, hmm?” 
“This is much harder than you make it out to be,” he huffs, hands on his knees after you asked him to do two consecutive jumps in a row. “Are your calves cramping? My calves are cramping. Why are my calves cramping?”
“It’s just part of the sport, sweetheart,” you say gently, holding his face with your gloved hands. “I couldn’t do half the things that you do out here.”
“Can we just dance for a little bit? No technique, no fancy jumps or whatever. Just us and the ice?”
“Sure, baby. Anything for my big, muscled hockey player that gets taken out after two jumps,” you tease and the competitive glint that catches in his eye activates your fight or flight. You throw your leg backward and skate as quickly as your legs can take you, trying to outrun the guy just bounding across the ice after you. “Okay, okay! I'll take it back!” You concede out of fear and adrenaline, slowing to a halt while he catches up and snakes his arms around your waist from behind you. 
“Caught you,” he murmurs, his breath warm next to your ear. “What was that about being taken out after two jumps?”
“I said I'll take it back, Satoru,” you laugh, but his arms are solid iron locked around your torso. “C’mon, dance with me. Just take my hand and follow my lead.” 
“I’m not going to be very good at it,” he points out.
“I don’t care if you’re good at it, as long as I get to spend more time with you.”
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if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)
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writingoddess1125 · 5 months
Text
The Canary
Me and stupid shit again
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Support on Ko-Fi, I'm poor
"Ah, 50k in debt for a linguistic degree you didnt get while working at a grocery store- Can't get any better then that!"
You had said that morning- Your sarcasm rolling off your tongue like a goddammit curse as you headed off to work.
And yet here you are now...
Your ass tied up on the floor of the grocery store while men armed to the teeth walked around talking- you felt oddly fortunate however, these guys were clearly grunts at the bottom of the food chain in terms of 'bad guys' hell they were speaking a language you had studied so you could pick up what they were saying as well.
You had been in the meat section when the explosion went off- The cow statue having saved your ass from being turned into a tube of ground beef, but now you were a hostage..
Greaattt.
"Hamil told us we needed the hostages, 6 of them exactly for this while they set up the explosives down the block.. we just gotta wait for the signal" The man said in the different language. You taking mental note of this-
You spot a little girl and her mother among your fellow hostages, your heart breaking at rhe sight as you saw the man approach her. Her mother clearly trying to undo her child's rope and get her to slip away down the aisle. However pausing when one of the men approached her and the girl.
"Hamil said Makarov gave us the clear so we could do as we pleased as we wait right?" The man said, one of his peers rolling his eyes in disgust and calling him dirty.
"Whatever we got some time to kill" He grumbled, beginning to undo his belt as he grabbed the screaming mother who was trying to shield her daughter away from the possible assault. You sitting up fully at this point and your brain going on autopilot.
"Woah Woah Woah Man! Got that weak of game you have to rape some Mom now?!" You yelled, the man pausing his actions. Tossing the sobbing women away from him and marching to you angrily fixing his belt-
"What did you say?" He hissed angrily flashing his gun at you. "I'll fuck your mother how about that-"
He said angrily, You took note of all the men now staring at you and not at the other hostages- Keeping them distracted... maybe enough for the little girl to slip away?
"I've already fucked your mom asshole- I have her saved as slip and slide on my phone" You say with a crooked grin- A few of the men snickering at your joke, Oh Fuck Yeah!
"What did you say!? Do you not see the situation you're in now?" He growled.
"Aww can't take a joke big guy? Come one gotta lighten it up somehow-" You see in your peripherals the girl slipping away as you chattered.
"Got a big mouth huh? Why don't we put it to use?" He chimed, you really wanting to turn this guy away from molesting you or anyone else.
"Listen it would be a waste of space- like if you throw a hotdog in a cave" You chimed, smiling as he looked ready to rip you apart but instead punched you across the face. OWWW!!
"Is it BDSM tuesday?.. Eh not doing it for me though big guy maybe rub your nipples and give me a wink?" You say, His friend who had called his dirty giving a hearty laugh at this.
The man glared down at you and spit in your face, clearly wanting to kill you in some way but needed you and the others for their plan. You pretended to taste it like a fine wine, Looking him in the eye.
"Oh?~ Cock flavored spit?- New Age?" You chimed making the man face red as a tomato in rage as his mate to the left laughed.
"Was this a little self yoga or did Unicorn overthrew give a hand?"
He smacked you with his pistol making you cry out-
Fuck that hurt!!
You defiently had a cracked bone somewhere in your face and the fresh taste of blood in your mouth didn't exactly help those feelings.
"Say something smart now!" He yelled angrily.
"A pistol whip!? What is this 1995? Give your balls a tug you tit fucker! Or are they so shriveled up you can't grab them?" You say with a smile, the man grabbing your collar and pressing the gun to your temple.
"I no longer care what Hamil wants! I'm killing this little bastard!" He screamed, you wincing at his breath.
"You can't! I don't want Makarov on my ass!" His peer yelled ready to pry him off you.
"Just put a sock in their mouth or something if they are bitching that much!"
"Well if you're gonna kill me so close a breath mint would be nice? You do realize Tiktacs aren't just a penis size right?" You chuckle nervously, you eyes catching a shadow moving behind the men now all staring at you. Their backs turned to the shadows.
"You know what- I'll shut up after one last joke? Eh?" You say nervously, The man yous been tormenting cocking his gun- you see a man silently stalk out, a skull mask covering his face as 4 others moved in perfect formation behind him.
"No more fucking jokes!" He yells, rage in his eyes.
"Okay- But I tried" You say cheerfully before closing your eyes. In seconds gunfire went off around you and quick screams surrounded you.
"Clear!" You hear sounded as you crack open your eye to take a peak.
"Holy fuck-" You sigh out and give a nervous laugh. Looking at the dead men now littering the ground as the soilders file into the area quickly-
The guy in the skullmask- The one who you spotted getting into position behind the guys comes to you and undoes the rope around your wrist in record time as the other men do the same to your fellow hostages.
"A medic will be here soon to check over your injuries" He said in a surprisingly deep voice- accident not lost on your either. He reached a hand down to either help you up or pick you up to extract you from the area.
You grab the man's vest quickly to stop him before he could, He stares at you hard in confusion.
"Listen, Those guys said that there were bombs down the block and were waiting for a signal. They have others- I can understand them and thwy said they followed someone name Hamil who talks to Makarov... I-Im a linguists and um.. can understand them" You say quickly, The masked man narrows his eyes at this and speaks into a radio on his side.
"We have info that more bombs are down the block- Scout the area and evacuate further" he said as he went back to helping you up. A quick thanks leaving your lips as you pulled off your work hoodie and passed it to the mother to cover her up.
The men escorting you out of the grocery store.
"Got to say, never seen a Canary get the best of those guys-" The Mohawk guy said with a smirk on his face, supporting a old man who clearly had a broken foot.
"Gotta use my gifts somehow- and Canary?" You shot back,
"Always fuckin' churpin" He said with a smile. A laugh now coming from you as you nod. Once outside the medics quickly swarmed all of you and prepared to take you all to the hospital.
You spot the masked guy again- Giving him a head nod. "Thank you Mr. Spooky!" You call out rather loudly- earning a amused glare from the man who rolled his eyes.
"....Your quips- Were... quite amusing.." He said calmly, You looking at the hardened man with a smile on your busted face- The others in his little boy band also cracking some smirks as they walked off finishing their jobs- which you assumed was down the block.
You give a bow of your head in a mildly dramatic flare. Wanting a shot and a nap at this point as the
"Glad my show went well"
Bonus!
- The little girl got out and went to the police that were waiting outside- explaining what you were doing and immediately getting checked over by medica
- TK141 had actually gotten to your location a little earlier then when you saw. However Soap had to stop everyone since he almost fell out at the cock flavored spit take.
- The whole team had been laughing on the inside or holding back laughter the whole time they heard you chirping at the men holding you hostage.
- The Nickname 'Mr. Spooky' will follow poor Ghost for the next few months-
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lalachat · 6 months
Text
"And there you were..."
Author's note: LET ME TELL YOU I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO FIGHT SOMEONE AS MUCH AS I DID WRITING THIS! Literally had this vision in my head and I got so heated I knew this was going to be a good chapter. MUAHAHA all the spooky vibes from Halloween are getting to me. I hope you guys enjoy this one because the plot is thickening. Also, I might be making a far stretch on one of the jokes i put in here... I am pretty sure these don't exist in ACOTAR but for the sake of the joke, just pretend they do 😭
Summary: After everyone in the Town House finding out about your night with Lucien and bond with Azriel, you have a nice relaxing night in with your girls... or so you thought it would be relaxing.
This is for all my Lucien girlies❤️
Warnings: lots of cursing, talk of wingspan and sex, verbal violence, and potential grammar errors
Word Count: ≈ 3,154
Chapter 5: "GYNO?"
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While you were getting ready, Feyre and Rhysand were back in their room discussing what they had just learned about you-
“What should we do Rhys? Az has been wishing for his mate for so long, but little does he know that he has been so infatuated with Elain it’s caused a blockage of his bond with y/n!” as she too is getting ready for girl’s night.
“The only thing we can do is be there for y/n and for Az when the time comes. This is a very peculiar situation y/n and Az have gotten themselves into,” he chuckles as he places his hands on the sides of her waist looking at her getting ready.
“I know, and this just has gotten messier with time. It already was messy enough with Lucien being Elain's mate and her liking Az. But now, y/n being Azriel’s mate and liking Lucien just seems way too coincidental. I can tell she likes him; she is just in denial because she's still holding onto some glimmer of hope with Azriel,” she pauses. “Something just feels off Rhys,” as she starts to think through what could be going on.
“I also feel like there is something is off, and I think it’s deeply rooted. Only time will tell Feyre darling,” he says as he kisses the top of her head as she finishes up getting ready.
“I would just hate for any of them to get hurt…” she frowns up at Rhys.
“And no one will, because we will be there for them every step of the way no matter what happens,” he reassures her with a soft kiss on her lips. “Now, go have some fun with the girls tonight! But not too much fun,” he looks at her with a playful smile.
“We cannot promise anything,” she giggles. “GNI here I come!”
“GNI?” Rhys questions at the unfamiliar term.
“GNI stands for “Girls Night In,” usually it is GNO, but staying in sounds better since we were out a Rita's not too long ago.” She explains.
“GNO? Isn't that a lady doctor?” Feyre burst out into full on laughter. Tears were spilling from her eyes from laughing so hard. Rhys just looked at her questioningly because he didn’t understand what was so funny.
“Rhys… oh bless your soul… GNO is the same thing as GNI, but you go out instead of staying inside. A lady doctor is called a gyno! Oh, I am so telling the girls this!” As she wipes the tears from her eyes and catches her breath.
“Ahh shit… I'm never living that down now…”
“Nope,” as she pops the end of the word as she walks down to the living room for girl's night.
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You walk down the stairs into the main living room to find all the girls already there giggling over wine all cozy in their pajamas.
“Wow, already started without me huh?” you say with a fake frown. They all look at you and smile, clearly already seeing some effect of the wine Mor brought.
“No! Just decided to pre-game a little bit!” Mor smiles at you and walks to you to link arms and lead you over to the group. You giggle.
“Well then, the party has arrived! Looks like I need a couple of glasses to catch up to you all!” you laugh. You look over and spot Amren and give her a polite smile. “It's nice to see you again Amren!”
“You too girl,” she says. “We have a lot of catching up to do!” She eyes you a bit eager to know what has been going on, but Feyre steps in.
“Nonono! I am putting a veto on discussing all things that have happened recently! We are here to forget about that and have fun! Now ladies raise your glasses,” Amren rolls her eyes, but everyone raises their wine, “and cheers to us girls and the wonderful night ahead of us!” Everyone whoops and laughs as they take a swig of their wine. You decide to down your glass to try and catch up as everyone cheers you on!
“Thats how you do it baby!” Mor pats you on the back and goes to pour you another glass.
“Oh, this night in is going to be quite interesting,” Amren says with a grin.
“Speaking of, I have something to tell you guys about what Rhys asked me earlier,” Feyre burst into laughter.
“What is it? Tell us girl!” Amren says inpatient with her laughing.
“Rhysand asked me what GNI meant, and I explained that it is basically GNO but instead of going out we stay in the comfort of our own home,” Feyre explained trying to hold in her laughter.
“Ok so like basic information, I don’t understand what is so funny?” Nesta asked confused.
“It gets funny I promise! Rhysand didn’t know what the abbreviation of GNO meant either. He said, and I quote, “GNO? Isn't that a lady doctor?”” As Feyre erupted into a fit of laughter. “He thought GNO was a gyno!”
You were the first to laugh, “You’re joking?”
“I wish I was!” Feyre was on the ground crying, and everyone soon joined her. Even Amren choked on her wine a bit from laughing at the situation Feyre just informed you guys of. Oh, poor Rhys is never going to hear the end of this one from any of you guys.
A couple of glasses later everyone is most definitely feeling the effects of the wine a lot stronger than when you first started. All of you are cuddled up together in blankets giggling over anything and everything. You decided to bring something up that you have been curious about ever since you saw it.
“Hey, Nesta! When I came home earlier today, I saw Cassian reading one of your little books.” You wink at her. “What is the book about, and why was Cassian studying it so intently?” Nesta blushes.
“I made him read a specific chapter on something that I wanted to try…” she admits quietly as she drinks more of her wine. Everyone started screaming asking to know what it was.
“Oh, Nesta come on!! You have to tell us what it is now! We are all girls here, we can handle book smut, I'm sure!” Mor says as she sits up eagerly.
“Yeah, please Nesta!” everyone says simultaneously.
“You guys want a smutty bedtime story?” She giggles as she leaves to go to get her book, and everyone cheers. Nesta comes back with the book, and everyone is already in giggles excited about hearing something they might be able to apply into their lives. “Get comfortable girls because this chapter is going to be wild!”
Everyone’s faces were bright pink along with their jaws being on the floor hearing Nesta read the chapter from the sheer number of descriptions given. Amren was the only one who remained stone faced throughout the whole thing, but you could tell every word that fell from Nesta's lips were remembered by Amren.
“Well, I can surely see why you had Cassian read that chapter now,” Amren smirked as she finished off her glass.
“Especially with his wingspan,” you said quietly, but it did not go unheard as everyone looked your way. “What?! You guys act like you don’t see his wings every day! A girl can appreciate big wingspans and think nothing of it!” Except you do think about it a lot. Curious to know which one of the bat boys has the biggest one. Everyone giggles at your comment.
“Don’t let Cassian hear that y/n, it’ll go straight to his head and then he will tell Rhysand and Az that he has the biggest one,” Nesta said with a knowing smile.
“I don’t mean to be inappropriate, but I think everyone forgets about Rhyland's wings since he only has them for special occasions.” Feyre said smirking.
“Oh little sister, are you challenging my mate’s wingspan?” Nesta eyed playfully, but before Feyre could respond you chirped in with one more fact.
“Ladies we are forgetting about one more male,” you started to blush at the thought of your mate’s wingspan.
“Oh, my gods, Azriel!” Mor finished it for you with a shout, totally feeling dumb not even thinking about the male. “If I am being brutally honest, I think he blows the other two out the water with his wingspan,” Mor said with a smirk as she twirled her wine glass and gave you a wink. This made you really blush now.
“You really think Azriel has the biggest wingspan?” Feyre asked.
“Yes.” Amren spoke and this all made you laugh hearing her agree on something like this.
“Has anyone seen Azriel’s-” Nesta tried to question.
“No,” was heard throughout the room before Mor looked at you knowingly.
“The only person in this room who could even get that close would-be y/n,” Mor said matter of factly. You blushed so hard you hid your face behind your hands.
“Mor! Stop I don’t want that image in my head!” You said giggling.
“I wouldn’t mind it…” Nesta said with a smirk remembering her thought of both Cassian and Azriel. Once again everyone laughed. This night was full of so much comfort and laughter you truly felt so at peace. However, with wine come consequences.
“Oh I forgot y/n only favors a certain red head in bed,” Mor said without thinking.
“MOR!!” You glared at her, and she slapped her hands over her mouth and said sorry. But it was too late, they all heard it.
“YOU HAD SEX WITH LUCIEN?! I thought yall just cuddled all night?!” Feyre asked with a squeal scooting closer to you.
“Ah shit- I guess yall get to know everything now… Before I met you guys, I lived in the spring court for a while,” Mor sat back and nursed her wine waiting for the reaction of the others on what you were about to tell. You tell them the story just as you had with Mor in the bathroom at Rita's. Everyone was in shock to find out about your hidden casual sex relationship with the autumn court male. Feyre was once again the one to speak up first.
“Is what they say true?”
“Is what true Feyre?” you asked back.
‘About them you know… fucking you with the fire in their veins?” Feyre asked eagerly. Everyone then scooted closer to you just like Feyre did earlier. You giggled at their anticipation.
“Yes, and it is so much more than you could even imagine.” Everyone squealed at your response!
“Screw my book y/n, tell us about a time you and Lucien had sex together! I want to hear all about the fire thing!!” Nesta said as everyone else agreed, even Amren is eager. However, before you could respond you heard a sweet voice you wished you hadn’t.
“Y/n, you had sex with my mate?!” Elain said as she had just walked through the door with Azriel, both had bags in their hands from their shopping spree.
“Oh shi-” Mor said before Elain moved closer to you, Azriel following close behind her eyeing you with anger.
“Answer me y/n! Did you or did you not have sex with my mate?!” Elain raised her voice this time.
“Elain I- I don’t know what you heard but I can explain,” you tried to reason with her for gods know what. You owed this female nothing but here you were trying to diffuse the situation. She threw her bag to the floor and pointed a finger at your face.
“NO! You expect me to hear you out after I come home to see everyone having a girl’s night without me, let alone talking about you and Lucien having sex? You are such a backstabbing sl-” before Elain could finish that sentence off Nesta was at her side.
“Elain, seriously drop it. Y/n has a valid explanation, just hear her out,” Nesta pleaded but Elain didn’t care. Maybe it was the protectiveness of the bond coming out of her, but she was not backing down.
“No! I am done being the polite one! You had sex with my mate behind my back! Is that why you both left Rita's? I cannot believe you y/n! No wonder you haven’t found your mate! It’s because you are too busy being a slut and fucking someone else’s mate!” She was fully in your face now; you looked behind her to see Azriel looking like he was about to kill you for hurting Elain. Feyre tried to step in this time.
“Elain, you do not know what you are talking about, you need to stop now before you say something you will regret!”
“Feyre, I do know what I am talking about! I heard it clear as night! She fucked my mate!” You just about had enough of being talked about this way. You kindly pushed Feyre and Nesta away from Elain and gave them small smiles to say sorry for what you were about to do.
“You know Elain, that’s a lot of talk coming from you. A female who has a mate that gladly agreed to her wishes on space. He sleeps alone every night waiting for the day that you will accept him! Oh, but poor Elain has no one to love and accept her! Wake the fuck up! Your mate has done everything for you since the day he found out, and yet you are sleazing yourself away to someone else!” You point at Azriel. “You want to talk about a slut, look in the fucking mirror!” Nesta and Feyre are looking at each other not knowing what to do, while Amren and Mor decide to stay out of it and observe the situation, ready to jump in when needed.
“Be careful how you speak about-” Azriel’s voice said dangerously low, but before he could finish that sentence you cut him off.
“Oh, don’t give me that shit Az! It might have worked in that meeting but it sure as hell isn’t going to work here!” You glared at him. “You are just as much a part of this as I am! Letting her fawn over you knowing she has found her mate is ludicrous! Especially when you’re the one who has dreamt of having a mate to call his own for years! What if your mate was standing right in front of you all along?” Everyone in the room goes silent at your words as you step into his personal space. Azriel's shadows are dancing furiously around him as he glares at you. You try pulling on the bond but are met with nothing in return except emptiness. He still doesn't know.
“You bitch!” Elain cautiously pushes you away from Az. “How dare you talk to us this way when you’re the one who threw themself at my mate knowingly! At least we have self-control!” she pushes her finger against your chest. You swat it away.
“GODS ELAIN! Why do you always have to play the victim! You can never admit to anything you have done wrong! You and him both,” you point at her and Az, “are hurting more people than you realize with whatever you want to call yourselves!”
“Well at least we are happy, unlike your mate less self-” Elain tried to say as you yelled-
“THAT’S IT!” in an instant everyone was in between you. Nesta, Feyre, and Amren blocked you from Elain as Azriel and Mor held you back. “Let me go Azriel!” you thrash in their grip. You watch as Feyre and Nesta try and calm their sister. Amren serving as a middle ground between both groups. You keep thrashing around but it's no use. The shadow singer has you in a tight hold as Mor holds one of your arms. You look at Mor with pleading eyes, but she just shakes her head at you as if to say, “fighting her isn’t right.” And you knew that… You were just so taken back by both her and Azriel being against you without hearing your explanation. Sure, Elain was somewhat valid, but nowhere near as valid as the points you were making.
You soon calmed down and looked at Mor again, “Can you please let me go now? I won’t do anything… anymore.” Mor looked at Az and he put his lips against you ear and said-
“If you so much as think about insulting her or hurting her, I will not hesitate to fire back violence, so be a good girl and walk away.” You cannot lie, having your mate that close to you and hearing him call you a good girl had your heart betraying you for a moment. You shoved yourself out of their grip and stormed towards the door before you would do anything regrettable.
“Where do you think you’re going?! I am not done with you y/n!” Elain screamed as you walked past, the jealousy of the bond obviously still influencing her. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to see Azriel now trying to calm her down. Tears collected in your eyes at the sight. He was supposed to be doing that with you, not her! You begged, screamed, yelled, pushed, and thrashed against that bond inside of you fighting for any kind of response. You don’t know how long you stood there mindlessly watching him comfort Elain as you used every fiber of your being against the bond and got nothing in return. That was your last straw. The wicked voice in your head took full control. Quite literally letting all intrusive thoughts win. You started laughing.
“Gods Elain you have everyone in this damn world wrapped around your pretty little finger, don’t you? Well guess what, I see right through your fucking act of desperation for the male gaze and male attention.” Azriel looked at you as a warning to watch your next words, but Elain ran out of his arms and ran straight to you. You and she were now face to face. A test to see who was daring enough to hit first.
“Fuck you y/n!!” Elain said with a pause between each word, and you smirked.
“I may not be able to fuck myself Elain, but you know what I can fuck?” you slightly paused as the realization hit her. “I can go fuck with fire!” you say with a wink as you walk out the Town House’s front door straight to Lucien’s apartment.
Lucien’s POV:
Lucien was relaxing on his couch reading one of his favorite books before he felt it. An overwhelming flood of emotions hitting him. It was as if they were screaming at him from two different ends of the bond. He learned how to process Elain’s end of the bond throughout the years, but whatever was going on was too much to deal with. This was all unknown feeling. Lucien ran to grab his coat and he quickly put it on. Just as he was reaching for his door to run to Elain, he heard a hard knock. He opened the door to find you in a fit of rage as you stormed inside. “Okay, just come on in why don’t you.” he said sarcastically as he shut the door behind you. "Nice pajamas by the way," he says jokingly before looking at you to see you glaring at him. "Shit, who pissed in your wine tonight?"
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albertasunrise · 1 year
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Look for the Light - 3
Masterlist
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Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.
Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie
Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So excited to share this with you. So much to come folks! 🙊😍)
Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2
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You glanced in the back seat and smiled when you noted that Ellie had drifted off. You'd been on the road most of the day and you supposed that once the initial wonder of being in a car had worn off, the teenager had succumbed to sleep. None of you had slept much since setting off on this journey. The teenager had rattled on about things she'd heard at FEDRA school and asked questions whenever something unusual popped into view. The teenager had been quiet for the last hour however and you had relished the quiet at first.
Now it was choking.
Joel hadn't spoken a word to you since leaving Bill and Frank's. You knew he was struggling to come to terms with losing the two men. He had considered them friends in a messed up sort of way and to find out they'd killed themselves had been a huge blow. Especially so soon after losing Tess... And the journey continued that way until you came across an old service station, littered with cars.
"We need gas." He announced, pulling in and parking up.
Ellie was quick to jump out of the car and you chuckled at the teenager's enthusiasm.
"Where you goin'?" Joel called out when the teenager sprinted towards the building.
"I need a piss man." She grumbled and Joel nodded.
"I'll make sure the building's clear." You stated and Joel nodded at you, watching as you and Ellie disappeared inside.
You were quick to ascertain that the building was free of infected and people and left the girl to relieve herself in privacy. You pulled out your pack and rested it on the counter of the derelict cafe, pulling out the box you'd managed to find at the store a few days prior. Your hands were shaking as you pulled out its contents and stared at it, almost willing for what you were looking at to be different. scraping a hand over your face, you let out a shaky breath, willing yourself not to cry but finding yourself losing that battle.
"What are those?" Ellie asked as she sprinted up behind you, grabbing one off of the counter before you could stop her.
"Two dashes -Pregnant... One dash - Not pregnant..." She spoke as she studied it.
"Ellie please give that back." You pleaded but the teenager didn't listen.
"Well this one has two dashes so..." She trailed off as the realisation dawned on her and then her eyes drifted up to you "Wait are you pregnant?"
"Ellie-"
"Is it Joel's?" She interrupted as she glanced out the window before looking at the test again "It is isn't it!"
"Ellie please-"
"Man, he is gonna freaaaaak."
"I know okay!" You snapped, finally managing to snatch the test away from her.
"Where did you even find those?" She asked as she watched you stuff the tests back into your pack.
"The shop we had shit stashed in." You stated as you leaned against the counter and took a deep breath.
"You going to tell him?" She asked and you let out a long sigh before answering.
"Well, I'm going to have to." You grumbled, "Not something I can exactly hide from him."
"What you gonna do though?" She asked "You going to keep it?... Only I can't see Joel playing happy family."
"I don't know Ellie okay!" You choked "I don't know what I am going to do but I would appreciate it if you could keep this to yourself until I tell him."
"Sure... Course." She nodded and you released the breath you hadn't even realised you'd been holding.
"Thank you." You replied with a small nod "Come on. Should get out there before Joel comes looking."
Outside, Joel was leaning against one of the many abandoned cars that littered the area, fuel pumping from inside the tank into the can he had sat on the floor beside him.
"Good?" He asked and you nodded.
"Fine." You replied plainly, unable to miss the slight wince that appeared on his face when you spoke.
"We have to do this every hour?" Ellie asked as she watched Joel feed the pipe into another car's gas tank.
"Gas breaks down over time." He replied, eyes still focused on what he was doing "This stuff's almost water."
"Back in the day, we'd drive 10, 12 hours on one tank." You piped up and Ellie looked at you in awe.
"You could go anywhere." She stated and you nodded "So where'd you go?"
"Pretty much nowhere." Joel grumbled and you smirked at the man's reply.
He wasn't wrong.
Joel blew air through one of the pipes in his hand and you watched as the gas started to travel through the other one, the liquid pattering against the gas already in the can.
"Nice! How does that work?" Ellie asked, her interest piqued.
"It's a siphon." Stated Joel as he looked up at the teenager "It's when liquid... travels against gravity... because pressure..."
"You don't know." Ellie needled and you choked back a laugh at the girl's statement.
"I know it works." He replied, eyes wandering to you and your smirk soon disappeared.
Something Ellie keenly picked up on.
"You two gonna be fucking miserable around each other the whole way?... Cus I'm not sure I can handle much more of this sexual tension."
"There's no sexual tension." Joel grumbled and the teenager rolled her eyes at the man's reply.
"Sure there isn't." She mumbled as she turned around.
"No wandering." Joel called out and glanced at Ellie.
"Okay." The teen replied before pulling something from her pack "This is your fault then."
Joel look almost worried.
"It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery."
You barked out a laugh that took not just Joel but yourself by surprise. You can't remember the last time you heard a joke. It had been a long time, that was for sure. Not much to joke about anymore.
"No Pun Intended, Volume Too, by Will Livingston." Ellie announced as she showed you both the cover of the book in her hands "Volume Too."
You rolled your eyes at the girl's enthusiasm before looking over at Joel who was shaking his head.
"Look. You get it? 'Too'? Like, T-o-o."
"Jesus." He grumbled.
"What did the mermaid wear to her math class?" Ellie continued and Joel's expression was one that almost looked like terror.
"An algae bra." She chuckled "Like, algae bra."
"Ellie-"
"I stayed up all night...
"No." Joel almost pleaded and you couldn’t not chuckle at the man's obvious discomfort.
"wondering where the sun went... and then it dawned on me."
"Feel free to wait in the truck." Joel growled, shutting the teenager up for the time being.
"Ugh, okay." She groaned " But just know, you can't escape Will Livingston." She warned, looking at you both as she stuffed the book back in her pack "He'll be back... There's nothing you can do to stop him."
Joel managed to get a decent amount of gas from the cars to last you a little while longer. You took the back seat so you could sleep a while, whilst Ellie took the front. She silently studied the landscape as it flew passed the window, careful when she spoke not to wake you. You made one more stop, swapping places with Ellie again so that she could sleep a while if she wanted to. Instead, the teen decided to rummage around in the back.
The girl found a tape that had filled the car with music and for a while, it felt like it was any normal road trip. Like the ones, you'd had with your parents as a kid.
"Oh, man." Called out Ellie "Got somethin' else."
Ellie was silent a while as she analysed what she had found, her eyes growing to the size of saucers at the images she saw.
"It's, uh... light on the reading, but it has some interesting pictures." She stated and that grabbed both your's and Joel's attention.
"Oh. No, no, no. Put that back." Joel ordered but the teenager didn't listen, snatching the mag bag when you tried to grab it from her "That's not for kids. Ellie." He warned but still, she didn't listen.
"How would he even walk around with that thing?"
"Please get rid of it." Joel pleaded and you once again found yourself smirking.
"Hold your horses." Ellie grumbled as she continued to flick through the pages "I wanna see what all the fuss is about."
Joel gave you a pleading look and you shrugged. You'd get the item from the teenager without endangering them all.
"Why are all these pages stuck together?" Ellie asked and suddenly Joel looked like a fish out of water "Uhh... the..."
"I'm just fuckin' with ya." She chuckled, swatting him with the magazine before sitting back and rolling down the window "Bye-bye, dude!" She chuckled as she threw the magazine from the car.
The music continued to play as Joel drove. The conversation between you and the child flowed easily as you talked to her about what she was seeing. She was a curious little thing and it warmed your heart. Your hand unconsciously rested on your stomach as you imagined what the child inside might look like. You imagined a little boy with dark eyes and wild curls. The perfect balance of you and Joel. The image took away the fear you'd been feeling since you learned about them. You still didn't know what you were going to do. This was no world for a baby but there was no safe way of getting rid of it either... and truth be told.
You didn't want to.
When the sky started to darken, Joel glanced at back Ellie before looking over at you and decided that it was probably time to call it a night. He could tell that you both were exhausted and he was too.
"All right. That's enough for today." He piped up and you looked over at him a moment before nodding at him.
He abruptly turned the truck and drove it across a field towards some woods. Driving a fair way in before parking the truck and pulling out some tins of food. After getting the gas stove going, Joel opened up some tins and started to heat them up in a metal tin pot, the smell making your mouth water.
A short while later you were eating the meal Joel had prepared, savouring the flavours. It was the meal you'd eaten in a long while. You knew the diet of jerky you'd been on couldn't have been giving the baby the nutrition it needed so you hoped a few days of decent meals would help it grow. The more your mind dwelt on the baby, the more attached to the idea of being a mum you became. So you decided you were going to keep it... Whether Joel wanted it or now.
"Slow down." Joel grumbled, pulling you from your thoughts.
"This is slow." Ellie mumbled around a mouthful of food.
"What am I even eating?" She asked as she forked another mouthful in.
"That is 20-year-old Chef Boyardee ravioli." Joel replied.
"That guy was good."
"I actually agree."
The three of you ate in silence a while before Ellie asked what you too were wondering.
"How long we staying out here?"
"I figure I sleep tonight... and drive tomorrow, all day, all night, get us to Wyoming by next mornin'."
"So can we start a fire? I'm freezing."
"Now, why am I gonna tell you no?" Joel snapped and Ellie rolled her eyes at the man's tone.
"Because Infected will see the smoke."
"No. Fungus isn't that smart." You piped up, grabbing the other's attention.
"She's right." Joel conceded "This is too remote
for Infected, anyway."
"People?" Ellie asked and you both nodded in unison "So what are they
gonna do? Rob us?"
"Oh, they'll have way more in mind than that." Joel grumbled and Ellie nodded. No more need be said on the matter.
You set up your sleeping bags for the night, one single light illuminating the camp. You said nothing whilst Ellie and Joel muttered things between the two of them. Your mind was going a million miles an hour whilst you stared at the box just visible inside your pack.
Your mind drifted back to the conversation you'd shared a little earlier with Ellie. The girl needled for clarity on what you were going to do about your situation.
"You need to tell him." She said as she glanced at the man who'd been unpacking the truck "Sooner rather than later."
You'd not said anything. Just nodded at him before graciously accepting the sleeping bag Joel had handed you. You'd set yours up a little away from theirs. Wanting space to think about how you were going to approach the subject. As you lay there staring at the sky you heard Ellie speak, the tone grabbing your attention.
"Can I ask you a serious question?" Her tone sounded almost frightened and your heart ached to reach out and comfort her.
"Yeah."
"Why did the scarecrow get an award?"
Your eyes instantly rolled but you stayed silent. Waiting for Joel to tell her off again.
"Because he was outstanding in his field." He replied and you guffawed at his reply.
Joel Miller had a sense of humour. You be damned!
"You dick!" Ellie laughed as Joel rolled back onto his side. "Did you read this?"
"No." Joel grumbled, pulling his sleeping back higher "Now go to sleep."
Silence settled in the camp for a while and you closed your eyes, willing sleep to come but Ellie's voice pulled you back, just as you felt rest tug just a little.
"Those people you said..." She trailed off, tone again a little frightened "There's no way anyone knows we're here, right?"
Your stomach dropped at her question. You'd be lying if you said you weren't frightened of being found. Especially now.
"No one's gonna find us."
"No one's gonna find us." Joel repeated.
"Okay."
With that, the girl allowed herself to close her eyes and you envied how quickly she fell into a deep slumber. You too allowed sleep to take you and you fell into a dreamless slumber. When you woke, the stars were still twinkling above you and you sighed, looking up to see what it was that must've woken you.
Joel was standing guard, gun in hand and you scraped a hand over your tired face before getting up from your bed.
"Can't sleep?" You asked quietly as you came to a stop at his side.
"Something like that." He replied, eyes scanning the darkness.
"What me to take over?"
"I'm fine." His tone was short and it snapped whatever patience you had left in half.
"God, you're an asshole." You grumbled and this grabbed his attention.
"What?"
"I'm sorry it was me instead of Tess." You grumbled as you turned your back to him "I know you'd rather have her here at your side but I can't change what happened."
"I don-"
"I shouldn't have come." You sobbed, wiping your tears with your sleeve "I keep following you around but you clearly don't want me around. I keep inflicting this hurt on myself and I can't do it anymore."
Joel grabbed your arm and turned you to face him. His expression was impossible to read in the dim light of the camp.
"I don't wish it had been you instead of Tess." He uttered, his face not inches away from yours "I have always wanted you around... Since the day I met you."
"What are you saying, Joel?"
He didn't answer with words. He kissed you hard and your hands instantly tangled in his hair as he walked you back. His lips travelled to your neck and you glanced at Ellie a moment before allowing yourself to succumb to the pleasure he was bringing you.
"Got to be quiet ." He whispered as he opened your jeans and pulled them down over your hips.
You nodded eagerly as you helped rid him of his own jeans before opening his shirt and running your hands over his warm flesh. He dropped to his knees, pulling you with him and you straddled his lap, whining at the feel of his erection rubbing against your folds. Your hand snaked between you and grabbed it, positioning it at your entrance before sinking down. Gasping at how well he filled you. Then you kissed him, the two of you swallowing each other's moans as you stayed there a moment, adjusting to his length.
"We haven't got long." Joel uttered against your lips and you nodded, glancing again at Ellie's back before you both started to move.
"Fuck." You choked as he hit that perfect spot over and over again.
The two of you moved in perfect sync. You met each one of his thrusts, noting how he was wincing. This couldn’t be good on his knees.
"Lay down." You uttered but he shook his head, increasing his pace when he felt you start to squeeze him.
"You close?" He asked and you nodded "Cum for me."
And you did. Your heat squeezed him so tight that he came without warning, suddenly racing to pull out but it was too late.
"Shit." He grumbled as he scrambled to get dressed again "Shit, shit shit!"
"Joel-"
"I shouldn't have cum in you." He growled, berating himself under his breath "Fuck."
"Joel, calm down."
"Calm down??" He growled "Do you get what this means?"
"Yes." You spat, keeping your voice low.
"You could end up pregnant." He growled and you threw your head back, letting out a long sigh as you glanced over at your pack.
He watched as you got up, carefully pulling something from your bag before heading back over to him. Your hands were shaking as you knelt down opposite him, clutching the truth in your hands tightly.
"We can't let that happen." Joel uttered, his brows drawn together "We can't bring a baby into our situation."
You let out a sigh before holding the tests out so he could see them. His eyes drifted from you to what you were holding out to him, his eyes widening as he studied the items carefully.
"It's a bit late for that Joel." You replied plainly, pulling his gaze back to you "I'm already pregnant."
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ilyasorokinn · 1 year
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second times the charm , juraj slafkovsky
note, thank you to @antoineroussel for yet another amazing fic exchange! you rock! this fic is for bestie maleeha (@lam-ila). i decided to do grumpy-sunshine (inspired by keeley and roy from ted lasso) and second chance romance. grumpy-sunshine is also one of my fav tropes so i really hope you enjoy this! :) another note, breaking my own rule of not writing for players under 20, but i couldn't pass up the opportunity to write for my favorite slovak. last note, this fic is part of "the lover series", my series about 25 different kinds of relationships. this relationship falls under "second time around". check out this masterlist for more. pair, juraj slafkovsky x reader summary, juraj and y/n were... something some years ago. but that was done and over with. so when y/n comes back as a medical team member, juraj knows there's only so much time to avoid all his problems. warnings, juraj gets injured and i'm not trying to romanticize it. this is my best attempt at grumpy-sunshine, and idk how much of this it really is, but i tried. i tried to leave out as much angst as i could, but with a second-chance romance, there is bound to be some angst, but i promise it'll all lead to a happy ending, i promise! word count, 6869 words (literally the longest thing i’ve ever written on here)
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(gif not mine)
You and Juraj had something. You weren't officially dating but you were more than friends. It didn't last too long but lasted long enough to leave an imprint on you. After a while, you started to think about him and it didn't hurt and you moved on with your life.
Juraj had done the same, but his moving on wasn't as progressive as yours. He was almost a shell of who he was before. He was once smiley but that all changed after your breakup.
You knew Juraj played hockey and knew he wanted to play in pro in the big leagues, you just didn't expect the big leagues to be in the same city as you.
You had been hired by the Canadiens a little before the season ended, so you had heard the rumors about Wright being drafted first, but when you watched the draft and watched Juraj, instead, walk across that stage first, you were just as shocked as everyone else was that arena.
On the first day of work, you had given yourself pep talk after pep talk in the mirror, while you were getting ready, in case you would run into Juraj.
For the majority of the day, you were in the clear. You had yet to run into him, but towards the afternoon was when more players started coming in for help.
Juraj was one of those players.
When he saw you, he froze. He stopped walking and just stared at you, like a creep. You turned around and stopped the conversation you were having when you locked eyes with him.
"Y/N?" Your coworker, Lorelei called your name, "You okay?" She followed your line of sight and saw you and Juraj having a staring contest.
"Uh, yeah." You blinked, turning back to Lorelei, "Can you excuse me?" She nodded, watching you walk away, over to Juraj, "...Hi." You let out a breath.
"Hi." He nodded, his voice curt and short, but then again, he was only saying one word.
"Can we talk?"
"Don't think there's anything to talk about." He shrugged.
"Come on, don't be like that."
"Be like what?"
"Can we just talk, Juraj?"
"We really don't have anything to talk about, Y/N." He told you, his tone so sharp it felt like it was stabbing you in the chest.
You picked up how much he really really did not want to talk to you, so you took it as your cue to not push him, "Right." You nodded, "Yeah, right." You walked past him, trying to hide the embarrassment you felt.
Right as you walk out, Arber walked up to him, "Who's she?"
"Ex," Juraj responded gruffly.
"Huh," Arber nodded, "Guessing you didn't end on the best terms?"
"You would be right."
"I gotta say, she looked pretty upset when she was leaving." Juraj simply ignored him.
-
"... and I gotta tell you, I was this close to just punching him in the face." Your date, Milo, laughed as he explained yet another story.
This date, so far, was not going very well.
Milo wasn't a bad guy, it was all you. You subconsciously kept comparing Milo to Juraj, and in that sense, they were both very different guys.
You listened to Milo talk for almost the entire night, and for that entire time, you spent it comparing two guys to each other.
"You okay? You've hardly touched your pasta." Milo pointed out.
"Yeah, I'm great." You plastered on a smile, pushing down the internal battle you were having, "Just really tired. Work." You shrugged.
"Work, right." He nodded, looking like he was ready to ask more questions, "You work where again?"
"I work for a hockey team." You answered, not wanting to start by saying you worked for one of the biggest hockey teams in Canada.
"The Canadiens?" He asked.
"Yeah, medical staff." You nodded.
"Wow." His eyes went wide as h sat back. in his seat. You could practically feel the questions he was gonna ask next, "Do you get free tickets?"
You deflated. It was always 'Do you get free tickets?' and 'Do you know so and so?'.
"I don't get free tickets." You shook your head, leaving out the discounted part.
"Have you met Caufield and Suzuki? Ooh, and the new draft? The Slovak?" He asked excitedly.
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, "Yeah, I know them all."
"Wow, that is so cool!" He exclaimed, "I have like a million different questions to ask those guys."
The rest of your date was spent with you answering all of Milo's questions about your work, and usually, you would happy to answer questions about work but in this case, Milo didn't care about what you did for the team, he only cared about the team.
-
Walking on the treadmill was something you found relaxing. Exercise wasn't relaxing to you, but something about walking on the treadmill and just listening to music gave you peace.
You were so in your head, you didn't even realize that someone had started walking on the treadmill beside you and started talking to you. You only realized Arber was talking to you when he tapped you on the shoulder.
You nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt him tap you, "Whoa!"
"Sorry, didn't realize you couldn't hear me."
"Yeah, I listen to my music really loud." You took out your earbuds, "So, can I help you with something? Any injuries?"
"No, I just had some questions." He looked almost shy.
"Can't promise I'll have all the answers." You turned to him.
"You and Juraj..." You sighed, "Didn't expect that reaction." He chuckled.
"I don't know what Juraj told you,"
"Said you were exes and that was it."
"And that's all there is." You shrugged.
"No, come on, I saw your face when you walked out of the locker room the other day, and it was not a happy one."
"The end of our relationship wasn't the best." You furrowed your brows together, trying to find the words, "He wasn't there for me when I needed him. I was putting more effort into the relationship than he was."
"That doesn't sound like Juraj."
"And how long have you known him exactly?" You raised a brow. When he didn't respond, you nodded, "Exactly." Arber watched you and waited for you to continue, "He was a good guy at the beginning, really. He was great. But something changed." You explained.
"I'm sorry." He offered a sympathetic smile.
"Well, if that's all the questions you have..."
Arber got the message and took his leave. He stopped the treadmill, "Thanks."
"Glad I could help." You slipped your earbuds back in and continued your walk.
-
You were watching the game from the medical room. You were lying on the bed in the medbay with Lorelei, eating snacks and enjoying the game.
Everything happened so quickly. One minute Juraj was on the ice and the next he was slammed into the boards by one of the other guys.
The play kept going but Juraj wasn't getting up. You were on your feet, trying to get a better look at what was going on, but when everyone noticed he wasn't getting up, the while was blown and the main medic, your boss Matt, rushed onto the ice.
Matt bent down next to Juraj and was talking to him and you so wished you could've been out there, talking to him. After a lot of waiting, Juraj was helped to his feet, his arms slung over Matt's and a couple other players.
He was shuffled down the tunnel and you could hear the commotion as they got closer and closer to the med room.
They carried him into the room and set him on the bed. You tried to figure out what was going on, "What's wrong?" You asked Matt, fiddling with your necklace nervously.
"I don't know yet. He says his entire left leg hurts, so we're trying. to narrow down where it hurts first." Matt snapped on a pair of gloves as he pushed through the crowd of people surrounding the bed.
Matt started pushing down his leg to find the spot that hurt. He eventually got to Juraj's knee, and when he did, Juraj let out the most pained noise you'd ever heard him make.
They pulled all the padding away and saw that his knee was very dislocated, "Okay, there's our culprit." Matt sighed, running a gloved wrist across his sweaty forehead.
"All right, we're gonna pop it back into place, but it's gonna hurt, I'm not gonna lie." The paramedic in the room told him.
His eyes frantically searched the room and when he found yours, it was almost like he was begging you to hold his hand. And you couldn't deny him of that, so you made your way over and hand his hand.
"Okay, are you ready?" Juraj looked anything but ready, "All right, on the count of three." The paramedic nodded.
You looked over at Juraj and saw the nervous look written all over his face, "You're gonna be okay." You reassured, "Just... think of something else. Think of what you're gonna eat after this or your favorite candy."
"I can't." He shook his head, eyes watering at the pain.
"It's gonna be okay. I promise." You squeezed his hand, "My favorite is Milkyway." He was barely paying attention to as he gritted his teeth in pain. You were tempted to kiss his forehead or something, but that wasn't your job anymore. The most you could offer was your hand.
"One, two, three." Once she hit 3, she snapped his knee back into place. He cried out in pain, "All right, you're all done, Juraj." She announced, "Now we're going to take you to the hospital so you can get further accessed and we'll put a splint on there."
"When will I get to play?" Even with tears on his face, all he was worried about was playing hockey.
"Let's just worry about your getting your knee accessed then we'll worry about playing." The paramedic smiled, pulling up the rails on the gurney.
Your hand slipped from his and you watched them wheel him away, "He's gonna be okay." Lorelei told you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and let Lorelei hug you.
-
After dislocating his knee, Juraj was out for almost 7 weeks, you didn't see much of him, but after he was cleared, it almost seemed like you were seeing him everywhere.
And it was intentional, on Juraj's part. After the accident, it was almost like a wake-up call.
Even though you weren't together, you showed up and were there for him in the medbay, holding his hand and reassuring him that everything was going to be okay.
During practice, you just so happen to be hanging by the bench with Lorelei, talking about your plans, "You sure you don't want to come out with us?" Juraj heard Lorelei ask as he made his way over to the bench to get some water.
"I'm fine, really." You insisted.
"All right, but next time, you're coming out with us."
"All right." You smiled. She walked back down the tunnel, but you sat down on the bench, watching practice.
"You should go out with them." Juraj voiced. As the words escape him, he wanted to hit himself. You turned to him, brows furrowed together, "Sorry, that was wrong."
"It was." You nodded, "But I want to know why you think that?"
"Because I know you, Y/N. You probably don't have many friends right now,"
"Okay, rude." You crossed your arms.
"But am I wrong?"
You hesitated, "No."
"See? So, go. Hang out with them. You'll have fun." He insisted.
"Why are you pushing this so hard? We don't like each other."
"Who said I didn't like you?" Juraj asked in a tone that made him sound offended.
"You did when you brushed me off the other day." You reminded him. You raised a brow when he stayed quiet, "I'll see you around, Juraj." You followed in Lorelei's footsteps and made your way back down the tunnel.
-
With Matt's secondhand medic being out with a cold, you were taking his place behind the bench. So, during the game, you were standing towards the entrance of the tunnel where the second medic usually would be.
"This your first time on the bench?" Cole Caufield asked.
"That obvious?"
"If your good at your job, you've got nothing to be worried about." He offered you a smile.
"Thanks." You nodded.
Juraj, who was sitting further down the bench, saw Cole talk to you. He saw you laugh at a joke Cole made, a total cliche. He looked away, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.
"Not your girl." He muttered to himself in Slovakian so the guys sitting next to him assumed he was just giving himself a pep talk.
-
A couple of days later at practice, you were carrying some supplies to the medbay. Your headphones were in and you were in work mode. You happened to walk past the hallway where the locker room was and happened to make eye contact with Juraj.
He was entering the locker room post-practice. You were prepared to just ignore him and walk past him but he offered you a smile, and when you returned it, confused, he stopped in his tracks and made his way over to you instead.
You furrowed your brows together and set the boxes in your hands on the ground, taking out your earbuds, "Juraj." You greeted, "Hope you aren't injured."
"Nope, all good." He shook his head.
"Good." You nodded.
You stood in silence, bouncing on the balls of your feet as you waited for him to say something, "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"I just... I wanted to say I had no right for talking to you like I did the other day." You were surprised and your face probably showed it, "So, I'm sorry."
You smiled softly, "Thanks. I appreciate it." He smiled in response before turning and heading back over to the locker room. You watched him, a smile on your face and for the first time in a while, Juraj was the cause of it.
-
Somehow you ended up working the medical staff booth at the Habs event. You were standing behind the table, watching as everyone passed by, seemingly having no interest in the medical staff.
You sighed for the umpteenth time, "Excuse me?" You heard a familiar voice and looked up, "Have you ever stitched up Suzuki?" Juraj joked.
You playfully rolled your eyes, "Not yet, but I have stitched up a few of the other guys, ya know, the nobodies." You joked. He nodded along, "Some rookie, Slav-Slafkovsky I think his name was." You laughed when his jaw dropped.
"A nobody? Really?"
"I'm just kidding. You aren't a nobody. You're somebody." You punched him softly in the shoulder from across the table.
"So, where are all the people? Why is your booth so empty?"
"Since you asked so kindly," You joked, "Captain Suzuki and Cole are doing a signing so everyone's probably over there. I'm surprised you aren't over there."
"Why would I be over there?"
"'Cause all your friends are over there and you'd get to take pictures and sign autographs." You shrugged.
"Well, I'm hanging out with a friend right now and I can sign autographs and take pictures from here."
"That's not really what this booth is for, but it's the thought that counts." He shrugged, "Also, we're friends?"
"Are we not?"
"I don't know it's just we don't really talk and on the off chance that we did talk, you were either brushing me off or apologizing."
"I thought we were friends."
"I don't know, I guess we can try to be."
You smiled. He smiled back.
-
Juraj had been replaying your conversation over and over in his head for almost 2 weeks before he finally gathered up the courage to talk to you again.
You and Lorelei were talking in the little dining hall in the arena. He approached your table and when Lorelei saw him approaching, she smirked before pushing her chair out and walking to the fridge, pretending to be busy.
You smiled at Juraj when he sat down next to you, "Hi."
"Hi." He looked nervous.
"Can I help you with something this fine afternoon, friend?" You asked, taking a bite of your sandwich.
"I've been thinking about our conversations for the past 2 weeks." He took a breath, "And I don't want our first conversation as real friends to be an apology, but I need to apologize to you for how our relationship ended." You nodded along cautiously.
"I was a horrible partner to you, and I can't go back in time and change things or stop what happened, but I can offer an apology."
You smiled softly, "I appreciate that. It means a lot." You reached over and grabbed his hand, "But now I think it's time for us to stop apologizing. Well, unless you do something crappy again."
He laughed, "All right, no more apologizing, unless I'm a jerk again."
"Starting now." You held out your hand.
"Now." He nodded, shaking your hand with a laugh.
-
"So, Juraj is doing his first post-practice media since his injury." Lorelei brought it up to you as you were cleaning the medbay.
"Is he?"
"Yeah, he is." She smirked, "Just wanted to let you know, ya know, just in case you want to skip out on me."
"I'm not gonna ditch you." You laughed, but paused, "Hypothetically..."
"Go." She didn't even let you finish.
You smiled before running out of the room and rushing to find the media room where Juraj would be. You stopped in the doorway, surprised that you found the space practically empty save for one reporter sitting in the back row.
Juraj had yet to come in, so you took a seat in the front row. When he did walk into the room, he froze briefly before making his way up to the table.
He locked eyes with you as you flashed him a smile, "Don't all raise your hands at once." He joked.
The man in the back raised his hand, and Juraj called on him, seeing as he was the only guy in the room. He asked his question, and Juraj gave a very "hockey player" response.
Then an awkward silence fell over the room, and Juraj waited for the reporter to ask a question. When he didn't, you quickly raised your hand. He looked surprised when he saw your hand shoot up.
Your arms were moving faster than your brain as you quickly tried to come up with a question, "Yes, in the front." He pointed to you, attempting to hide his shock.
"Yes, Juraj." You nodded, "Y/N Y/L/N with Canadiens Today." He smiled, "My question is what's your pregame meal?"
Juraj laughed, "I'm pretty basic. Pasta guy, maybe throw in some veggies if I'm feeling fun."
You got up from your seat and ran around to the row behind you and took a seat again, raising your hand again. He broke into a smile when he caught onto what you were doing, "Yes, you." He pointed to you.
This went on for a couple more questions. You switching sets and asking him a question. You knew this probably wouldn't get published out into the world, but the room was empty you were there, so you might as well ask the questions.
After media was over, the reporter walked out of the room, but you stayed. Juraj smiled at you, "Thank you for that. It was embarrassing as it was to walk into an empty room."
"We're friends. It's what friends are for." You shrugged, sending him a smile.
-
The Canadiens charity dinner/gala was an event you were looking forward to. Kirby had asked you to go, purely as a friend. He didn't have a date and you were friends.
"Do you want a drink?"
"Sure, thanks." You smiled.
Kirby headed over to the bar while you took in the decorations around the room, "You look nice." Juraj complimented as he approached you.
"Thanks." You smiled, looking back at the large lighting fixture hanging from the ceiling.
"So, you came with Dach?"
"He asked, I accepted." You shrugged.
"We could've gone together."
"You didn't ask." You raised a brow at him, "If you had asked, I would have said yes."
Juraj didn't respond, instead, he took in your words as Kirby made his way back over with your drinks in hand, "Hey, good to see you." Kirby greeted, handing you your drink.
"Yeah, you too." Juraj nodded his head, "I'm gonna go find my seat." Juraj turned and walked towards the tables, trying to find his name card.
You and Kirby followed in his footsteps and made your way over to the tables to find your own name tags. To your luck, you were seated at the same table as Juraj and a few of the other guys.
"What a fun coincidence." You laughed, taking your seat, Juraj on your left and Kirby on your right.
"Yeah." Juraj managed a laugh, one that didn't quite reach his eyes but you and everyone else at the table failed to realize.
Once everyone else got situated and seated at their tables, the event organizers gave a speech and a few other higher-up team members.
Eventually, the appetizer came out, and when you got a chance to look at what was on your plate, you stared at it, "Everything okay?" Kirby asked, noticing your intense staring competition with the olives and cherry tomatoes mixed in with the salad on the plate.
"Oh, yeah, all good." You nodded, "Not the biggest fan of olives and tomatoes." Juraj knew it was the understatement of the year. You absolutely hated both of them.
You pushed the olives and tomatoes to the side of your plate, trying not to make a scene. Juraj, without even thinking, reached over and scooped the two things off your plate and onto his.
You stared at him, watching him eat the olives and tomatoes from his own salad, "What're you doing?"
"You hate them." He shrugged as if it was nothing.
"Juraj..." You sighed.
"What? Were you gonna eat them?" He asked.
"No."
"Then why waste food?" He shrugged again. You laughed, shaking your head and reaching for your drink, rejoining the conversation.
Juraj felt almost like he had won. He made you smile and that was a win in his book.
-
You were slipping a shirt over your head when you heard a knock on your hotel room door. This was one of the first roadies you and Lorelei were given the "okay" from Matt to come.
You assumed it was Lorelei but when you opened it, you were surprised to find Juraj instead, "Oh." You halted in your steps.
"Hi." He stood in the doorway nervously.
"Hi." You smiled, "Gosh, you're shaking like a leaf. Are you okay? Are you cold?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He nodded, "I was just-I came to ask you-I was wondering-"
"Juraj, geez, it's just me. Calm down, take a breath." You chuckled, watching him stutter over his words.
"Do you want to hang out with me today?" He finally spat out.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I already have plans." Everyone was given the day off so you and Lorelei were planning on checking out the city and being tourists.
"I talk to Lorelei already. She's spending the day with a few of the other guys."
"Wow, you really thought this through." You laughed, "What did you have planned?"
"Well, I've never been to Seattle before, so maybe we can start there?"
"Well, you're in luck, I've been before and I know all the best places."
"Great." You grabbed your bag, a jacket and your room key then stepped out into the hallway together.
You did all the touristy things with Juraj. You visited the Space Needle, visited Pike Place Market, and even got coffee from the first Starbucks.
You tried to convince him it was just overpriced Starbucks that you would have to wait in an hour-long line for, but he wanted the experience and who were you to deny him of that?
After spending the entire day exploring the city, you and Juraj sat down for dinner at a little lowkey restaurant, nothing fancy, "So, did you enjoy the Y/N Tour today?"
"I did. I'd give you 5 stars."
"Ah, thanks." You laughed, "What was your favorite part of today?"
"The Needle was fun."
"I figured it would be."
"Why is that?"
"'Cause it was my favorite too, and we like a lot of the same things." You answered, taking a bite of your sandwich.
He watched you while you watched the people outside the window. He smiled, taking a bite of his own sandwich as he followed your eyes and people-watched along with you.
Later that night, you and Juraj were walking back down the hallway toward your hotel room, "I'm glad you asked me to be your tour guide today."
"Yeah, well it was either you or Wifi, and don't tell him I told you this, but I think you're prettier than him." You laughed as you slid your room key into the lock.
"Well, goodnight, Juraj. I'll see you tomorrow." You smiled.
"See you tomorrow." He repeated, sending you a smile.
You closed the door and shucked off your jacket and bag. Right as you kicked off your shoes, there was a knock on your door. Your brows furrowed together as you made your way back over to the door.
"Did you forget something?"
"Yeah, I did." He nodded, "Can I kiss you?" You blinked like a fish, trying to comprehend what he said, "I would've just gone for it without asking, but you always tell me consent is important."
Your brain started working again, and you smiled, "Yeah, you can kiss me." You nodded. He leaned forward, cupping your cheek and kissing you. You smiled as you wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him closer to you.
As you pulled away, you could see something in his eyes. It wasn't regret nor was it joy, he looked conflicted, "Are you okay?" You asked.
Instead of responding, he pushed your arms away and turned in the opposite direction, walking towards his hotel room. He left you standing there, confused.
-
The morning after the kiss, you tried to confront him during breakfast, but by the time you made it down for breakfast, he had already left for practice.
"So he kissed you and bailed?" Lorelei asked.
"Just walked away." You nodded.
"That's strange." She commented, "I'm not a betting woman, Y/N, but if I were, I would bet a whole paycheck that Juraj is still in love with you."
You shook your head with a roll of your eyes, "That's not true."
"Oh, it absolutely is. and your denying it is silly. I know you still like him, maybe even love him."
"I don't love him." You denied once again.
"All right, you don't." She shrugged.
-
Juraj had been avoiding you. He didn't know how to confront you. He kissed you. It had been a good kiss, great even. But for some reason, he ran off.
He knew he had to confront you and admit how he really felt, but the one thing he was scared of more than anything was being rejected. He could handle you hating him and not talking to him and being upset with him, but he could not physically handle you rejecting him.
He had tried on numerous occasions to approach you. He approached you but when opened his mouth, nothing came out. Another time, he, once again, opened his mouth to say something, but someone else called your name and before you noticed him, you were being pulled in another direction.
When he saw you walking down the hall, he knew he had to say something, "Y/N." He called out.
You looked up from your phone and when you saw it was him, you were ready to turn around and walk in the opposite direction, "No, wait, please." He begged.
You slowly turned around to face him, and slid your hands into your pockets, "Can I talk to you?"
"Isn't that what we're doing right now?" He winced at the way the sentence had come out, but he knew he deserved it. After all, he kissed you and then ran off.
"Right, I just wanted to clarify something." You nodded, "I'm sorry for what I did. I didn't mean to run off like that, I swear. I just, I think my legs moved faster than my brain." You were confused and your face must've shown it.
"What I'm trying to say is I wanted to kiss you, and I had it all planned out in my head. I was gonna kiss you, and I was gonna confess my feelings for you, but then I ran because I was scared you wouldn't feel the same way. Still am, by the way. Scared you won't feel the same."
"Juraj..."
"I like you, Y/N, and boy does it feel good to say that. Because I've been holding that in for so long. Longer than I'd like to admit." You simply stared at him, eyes wide.
"Say something." He begged. But you couldn't. You were shocked. He actually liked you. He frowned when you didn't respond, only stare at him. He took your silence as his answer and once again, turned and left you alone again.
-
You sat by yourself in the arena, trying to understand what just happened. You were an artist, but you could draw the look on Juraj's face when you didn't say anything, and it hurt that your brain didn't move fast enough to say anything.
No one was in the arena except for the Zamboni which was going over the ice, but you were sitting in the nosebleeds section so you would be left alone by anyone on the ice.
"What're you doing up here by yourself?" You turned around to see Arber standing a few seats away.
"Thinking."
"Hmm." He hummed, "You and Juraj look the same. You're both moping, which means something happened, so spill."
"I messed up." You told him in a tone that let Arber know that it was more than a little mistake. He sat down in the chair next to you. You filled him in on what happened and he sat there and listened, he didn't interrupt you.
"You know what you have to do?" You looked over at him, "You gotta tell him how you feel. You're both hurting. It's so clear you both still have feelings for each other, and the only way to stop the hurting is to admit the truth. Tell him how you feel, Y/N. What's stopping you?"
"You didn't see his face. He was heartbroken."
"Then go." He told you.
-
You stared at his door, hesitating. After a few mental pep talks, you finally raised your hand to knock on his door. You heard someone making their way to the door, and when it opened, instead of Juraj, you were met with his roommate.
"Are you here for Juraj?"
"Yeah." You nodded. His roommate moved out of the way just enough for you to enter. When you walked in, you looked around.
"He's in his room." He pointed down the hall to Juraj's room. You knocked on his door and waited for a response.
"Come in." You opened the door and saw him laying in his bed, looking just as miserable as you, "What're you doing here?"
"You didn't let me say anything."
"I did. I waited."
"Then that's my fault. I was trying to figure out what to say, but I couldn't get it out."
He stared at you, trying to decipher what was happening, "Are you here to reject me again?"
"No, I wanted to talk to you about something else." You stepped into his room, shutting the door behind you, "I talked with Arber, who gave me some good advice."
"Did he now?"
"Juraj," You took a breath, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier. But I'm here now, and I want to say I feel the same way about you." He raised a brow, "I like you, too. Maybe even love you, but I'm not sure about that yet."
He stared at you the same way you had stared at him when he proclaimed his feelings for you, "I probably always have and always will. Somewhere along the way, I forgot about that because I was blinded by the hurt and pain you caused, but seeing you again and spending time with you, it was like all those feelings came rushing back like a waterfall."
He smiled as he listened to you. He could tell you meant it as he watched you, "You don't have to love me right now 'cause I'll love enough for the both of us."
He jumped out of bed and wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly, "I do love you." He spoke into your hair before kissing your head. You smiled, letting out a happy and relieved sigh as you hugged him back, relishing the feeling of having his arms back around you.
-
"Special delivery!" Lorelei announced walking into the medbay with a package in her hands, "Special delivery for one Mrs. Y/N Slafkovsky." She joked.
"Okay, you can stop with the wedding jokes. We aren't married, we're just dating. We're taking things slow."
"I know, but it's still funny." She set the box down on the table. You looked over at her, "What? Are you gonna open it?"
You laughed, grabbing a pair of scissors and opening the box. You smiled happily when you pulled out all the bubble wrap, revealing heaps and heaps of Milkyway bars.
"What is it?" Lorelei asked.
"Milkyway." You pulled out a bar and unwrapped it, taking a bite.
-
"Come on, as my girlfriend you have to wear my jersey."
"I already have a jersey."
"Yeah, with some other guy's name on it."
"I'll be sure to tell your captain he's just another guy." You joked.
"Please?" He begged.
"I'm kidding. Of course, I'll wear it." You grabbed it from him and set it aside. You wrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at him, "Be great."
"Always am." He wrapped his arms around your shoulders.
"Score a goal for me."
"Who do you think I am? That would make me the worst boyfriend in the world. With you in the crowd? Now I've gotta do it."
"I'm in the crowd more often than you'd think." You reminded him, "Behind the bench and all."
"But this is different." He pointed out.
"All right, whatever you say." You smiled, pushing yourself up. He got the picture and leaned down, kissing you.
During warm-ups, he skated past multiple times, slammed into the glass a few times, and right before he skated off the ice, he tossed a puck over the glass to you and winked.
You smiled, slipping into your pocket, "You're making me feel really lonely." Lorelei joked.
"Sorry." You laughed.
"Don't you dare apologize." She nudged you softly.
-
Halfway through the 3rd period, the Habs were up by 2 and things looked like they were only going up from there. You watched as Jake Evans passed it to Anderson who passed it back to Jake. He skated down the ice, looking for someone to pass to.
Juraj hopped off the bench after switching with another player. Jake passed it over to Juraj, who skated around the Yotes player and tricked the goalie.
He looked like he was going left, but instead shot from the right. You jumped out of your seat and hugged Lorelei as the goal horn sounded.
Juraj was pulled into hugs by his teammates as he celebrate. Before he skated over to the bench, he pointed over to you. When you locked eyes, he blew you a kiss, dedicating his goal to you.
You laughed as you felt eyes from everywhere on you. The celly replayed as he skated past you and pointed to you and blew you a kiss.
"I'm calling that the Y/N goal." Lorelei joked, nudging you with her arm softly.
-
When you woke up that morning, you felt like everything was wrong. That could have partly been because you woke up late and accidentally pressed stop instead of snooze. And when you got to work, it felt like things were only going worse.
So, during your lunch break, you found yourself on the treadmill, trying to not cry as the stress of your day got to you. You walked at the slowest speed as you closed your eyes and tried to breathe.
"Hey, I've been looking for you all day." Juraj joined you on the treadmill next to you. He was walking at a faster pace as he talked about his day.
He was telling you a funny story about how practice was going when he looked over and noticed you weren't paying attention, "Hey, you okay?"
You opened your eyes, "No, everything is bad."
"What do you mean?"
"Today has not been good, and I've been trying to turn it around, but it's not working."
"Do you want to keep talking about it?" You shook your head, "Are you gonna cry?" You nodded, "All right." He stopped his treadmill and turned yours off.
You stood at the end of the treadmill as he wrapped you in a hug, letting you cry out all the emotions from the day. He didn't say anything, he only rubbed your back and let you cry, and placed a few kisses on your head.
-
About a month after your first game, you were sitting in a different spot in the arena, but it was still out of your price range if you were to buy your own ticket.
You watched Juraj get into a fight then watched him get ejected. The fight wasn't anything bad and it wasn't any different than any other fight, but something was wrong with him, you could see it.
You gathered your stuff up and made your way down to the locker room. You peeked into the locker room and saw him sitting in his stall, looking as dejected as ever.
He heard your footsteps walking into the room, then looked down, "You aren't supposed to be in here during the game." You ignored him and approached him, "Did you hear me? You aren't supposed to be here."
You sat down next to him and reached for his hand. You didn't say anything, but when you slipped your hand into his, his body deflated. and he melted into you.
You didn't say anything as you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He leaned down and leaned his head on your shoulder as his body molded into yours.
And that was that. Neither of you said anything. You only sat in the locker room, Juraj clinging to you in silence.
-
You and Juraj were sitting in different rooms in your apartment. He came over after practice and the two of you kind of just stayed in separate rooms doing your own thing.
You made your way out of your bedroom and into the kitchen but as you passed the living room, you saw Juraj sprawled out on your couch. His eyes were closed but you could tell he wasn't asleep.
You set your mug down on the table next to the couch and sat down next to him. You ran your hands up his arm, then leaned down and kissed his cheek.
"You finally done?"
"Almost. One more paragraph then I'm all yours for the rest of the night." He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you down to lay on his chest, "One more paragraph, come on." You laughed.
"That's too much." He whined, closing his eyes as if he were going to fall asleep.
"No, come on. I'm almost done!" You begged. He only pretended to snore. You sighed, laying your head on his chest as you gave in to your fate.
You both eventually fell asleep and when you. woke up, it was much late. You woke up before him and looked up at him tiredly, smiling.
"Creep." He muttered as he opened his eyes and saw you staring at him. You rolled your eyes.
He yawned as he began waking up, "Don't you think it's crazy that almost a year ago you couldn't even be in the same room as me."
"Crazy." He hummed.
"Sometimes good things really do take time." You smiled.
"Well, then I'm glad I waited." He leaned down, kissing you softly.
-
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theydonthavenames · 1 year
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Wille's arc appreciation post
I find it truly amazing how much Wille has grown and changed in season 2. At the beginning he was the same dramatic, hurt, chaotic, selfish, whingy (very affectionately) teenager prince we knew from season 1. He wanted Simon back badly, but he didn't have a clue how to win him back. But reality hit him in the face- Simon is still mad and he's actually trying to move on dating someone else- and with a *little* help of the biggest star of S2, Boris the Birkenstock Sossen ™️ he's gone so far and almost became a brand new person. There are a few scenes in the second half of the season where his decisions made me really proud of him. It's gonna be long, bare with!
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I think the bravest thing Wille did this season was letting Simon go in ep 4. We of course knew he was so wrong, but Wille truly believed Simon doesn't love him anymore. He didn't see all of Simon's yearning, he didn't know Simon wrote him a love song. In Wille's eyes Simon trying to move on with Marcus and as much as it hurt, he finally accepted it. I think this was the most mature decision he's made this season, and I don't know what sort of strength one must have to let the love of his life go- I was lucky enough I never had to do that- I can't even imagine how much it hurt Wille. But he did it out of love and respect to Simon. He felt broken and hopeless too, but I believe Wille's primal reasoning here was that he loves Simon so much he just wants him to be happy, with or without him. Luckily the story didn't continue that way and it literally took Simon minutes to pull Wille back.
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This one surprised me. When Simon decides to report August to the police, despite the potential damage it might have on his own and Wille's life, Wille just respects it. He told Simon he was scared, but he didn't try to change his mind. Season 1 Wille would loose his marbles in the same situation. He would probably end up shouting at Simon and calling him selfish (like he did in S1 piano room fight- which I expected). But S2 Wille trusts Simon's judgement and lets him decide for himself. Deep down he knows it's the right thing to do. And another beautiful thing that happened during this scene is Wille taking initiative to comfort Simon and hugging him. He showed Simon he supports his decision and will be there for him, no matter the consequences.
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In this beautiful little scene Wille casually turns up at Simon's house to let him know he can give up the throne for him. First of all, he is so calm and collected, and he doesn't even ask for privacy, he lets Ayub and Rosh listen to their conversation- he knows they would find out anyway, but also he's not embarrassed to show his true feelings for Simon in front of his friends (and also I'm glad they were there because they needed to hear it too). But the best thing that Wille does here, after dropping the bombshell on Simon, he just walks away. He allows Simon space and time for the news to sink in and doesn't demand any answers, not even a comment. He really shows how much he starts to empathize with Simon- he must have realised it will hit Simon like a train, but he lets Simon deal with it on his own terms. S1 Wille would be dying to know what Simon thinks and he would not hesitate to ask. S2 Wille just walks away. So mature for a 16 year old.
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And the final scene, my beloved. That 'I love you' whispered in his ear in dark Hillerska corridor worked wonders. The courage he's shown to admit it was him was unreal. But also it proves the amount of love he's got for Simon, that he doesn't want him having to compromise and keeping them as secret. He's grown to understand lies and secrets were not getting them anywhere. He was ready to break that circle and finally be true to his own feelings. Such a brave, beautiful moment, I'm so happy and proud he did that. They both deserved this ending, Wille and Simon.
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Side note finally, we now know there is this deleted scene when Wille texts Simon at the end of ep 6, when everything is in pieces again and it almost feels like Wilmon is back to square one. As sweet as the scene is, I'm really glad that they didn't include it in the final cut, because it shows that after Sara's betrayal when Simon is ultimately sad, mad, hurt to the point of rejecting Wille, he just gives him much needed space. He doesn't try to run after him, text him, reach out, I think Wille understood that Simon needed the space and time to think things through. And that paid back beautifully. In my head, this scene doesn't exist.
Wille's gone a long way in season 2. His arc is beautifully written and makes me a proud mum 🥲 I can't wait to see him grow even more in next season- I have no doubt he will.
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Mine (Swiss Ghoul x Fem!OC)
Summary: After escaping her toxic ex-boyfriend Y/n runs to the only place that had ever made her feel safe. As a long-term friend of Copia and his ghouls she swears that she is destined to be alone forever because of her poor taste in men; what happens though wen one of her best friends disagrees and confesses something very important that may alter the relationship between them?
Fandom: Ghost (Swedish Band)
Pairing: Swiss x Fem!Reader
Triggers: Cussing, innuendos, mention of mental and physical abuse
Auth. Note: The portrayal of Ghouls and Papa is from a fandom base and imagination alone; the personas of the band do not have anything to do with the real people behind the masks. I am a fan of their music and respect their privacy so their stage persona is separate from the real-life individuals in my works.
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She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and her teeth sank into the plush of her bottom lip as her skin sparked with fire that made it tingle. She could image the torn skin bubbling around the edges as the antiseptic killed any germs or debris that may have managed to get into her wound. She did not whimper though - she could at least take pride in that. She did not utter a sound to express the pain. It's not like the worst has come yet. A rough padded thumb pressed against her mouth gently but insistent as it pulled her lip from between her teeth as a hum broke the silence in the dimly lit room.
The lamp on the desk was their only source of light; the darkness that did not reach its border seemed foreboding and cold in the dead of night. A quick glance at the old circular clock on the wall by the door read it as nearly 2:00 a.m. in the morning causing a new sensation of guilt to tug at her heart; distracting her from the pain on her face.
"Mi cara, you should have told me sooner." his voice was soft and tinged with the readiness for sleep.
Y/n's eyes shifted from the clock to the man in front of her. Her vision was aided only by the yellowed light of the lamp beside them casting wary shadows along the man's unpainted face and the dark circles beneath his eyes causing him to take on the appearance of a human panda. His hair with brushed back but only by natural force instead of the hair gel she was used to and in this light, it looked a little greyer than usual - the black hair dye must have faded since the last time she saw him.
But instead of answering him, she reached out to playful swipe at the hair above his lips. "This is new. I don't know if I like it yet or not." she teased but the man's lips only curved downwards further causing her to sigh and drop her head a little - dislodging the attempts of cleaning the cuts along her face.
"What would you have done Copia? Whisked me away to hide me in the Abbey like a long lost remnant of the past? I'm not a little girl anymore, I can't always be relying on you to protect me like before." Y/n's voice sounded pessimistically fed up and tired.
Copia huffed out a breath and waved his hands. "Of course, I would have taken you away! You are no lost remnant of the past, principessa. You are a treasure and one of my closest friends. No... you are famiglia! Why do you insist on returning to him when you know he will only hurt you again? Won't you say yes and stay here?" the man's words ended almost pleading as his mismatched eyes stared at the younger woman in front of him with sadness in his eyes and anger in his blood.
Y/n had been such a great friend for the last several years. Before he had ever been chosen to be the next Papa, Copia was nothing but a Cardinal and in most eyes not as important as a papa but Y/n had always treated him with kindness and with humanity - treated him like a lost long friend from the get-go. He met her through his brother Terzo who was papa before him. She had been a good friend to Terzo and often visited the Abbey; making friends with the Clergy and Ghouls alike with her sunshine spirit, unique humor, and infectious smiles. Despite never joining the Clergy officially everyone who had known her during that time thought her part of the family. She just...stopped coming around after Terzo's death except on the rare occasion like tonight when she'd slink back in for safety with her tail between her legs covered in cuts and bruises because of her new boyfriend of a few months. He did not deserve her and Copia could never find it in himself to force her to stay in the safety of those she knew would never lift a finger unlike the stupid boy she dated - a boy not worthy enough to be called a man.
"I'll just...I just needed to clear my head Copia and-"
the door to papa's office burst open and a figure bent over with hands on their knees panting. Nostrils flared and hair askew from sleep stumbled in the pack with eyes filled with a frenzy. Y/n hadn't seen the ghouls often without their masks and the sight was always a wonder more than a fright to see them unglamoured with their ashen skin, claws, fangs, and extra appendages.
"Oh for satanas-" Copia threw the blooded cotton ball he had been using to clean Y/n's cuts with on the table and began to stand up but a deep growl that sounded near feral vibrated within the office and the man halted mid-motion.
Ghouls were not always as dangerous as most people would like to think. Well, not to Y/n who knew how to handle them. They were rather domesticated as they lived lives as mostly humans despite being creatures of Hell. So the woman did not startle when a lithe frame bolted forward and she was jerked forward by her shoulders. An unmasked face buried itself into her neck and she felt the puffs of exhaled warm breath along the skin of her neck as she craned it to the side submissively allowing the ghoul to take in her scent.
There was another growl of disapproval and anger as the creature pulled back and Y/n was faced with the fierce glare of the Multi Ghoul Swiss as he assessed the damage to her face.
"Tell me." his voice was pitched much lower and deeper than the usual light-hearted bantering tone she was used to. "Tell me who did this to you." he demanded
Y/n swallowed unable to look away from his piercing stare and somewhere behind the ghoul Aether's familiar tone pitched in with an apologetic look on his face.
"We smelled the blood as soon as you came into the abbey. We were worried..."
Y/n's lips curled slightly into a reassuring smile as she raised her hands to grab at the strong forearms bare and warm beneath her touch in hopes to soothe the agitated ghoul.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you guys...I forgot you guys could smell that far...I-I thought if I just came to Copia and get patched up I'd be gone by the morning and you wouldn't have to see me like this..." she trailed off.
The ghouls were always so protective and sweet with her but she and Swiss had a special bond - he was like her best friend and easy banter and flirtiness were their love language. Never had she seen him look so..so upset and feral before. Casting her gaze away from Swiss she looked over his shoulder to find Aether standing by the door watching a very irritated fire ghoul pace in front of them while Rain leaned against Mountain who was guarding the door watching with worried green and blue eyes alike. Dew was pacing back and forth; clawed hands flexing while every once in a while he'd look her way only to growl every so often under the watchful gaze of Aether. the scent of blood must be getting to him; Dewdrop was always the most sensitive when it came to blood and she wouldn't have been surprised if he had been the one to smell her first and alert the others. Ghouls were just like that but if one of their own was injured the entire pack was on high alert.
"W-well now that you've been found out I suppose there is no use running away now hmm?" Copia sighed rising to his feet and rubbing a hand through his hair. "All of you off to bed now. Mi care you can stay-"
Swiss didn't allow Copia to finish and instead, his arms wrapped around the girl and hoisted her up so quickly she squeaked and wrapped around him like a koala. Thighs and arms holding on tightly as he braced her against his lean body and pushed past his pack mates to walk down the halls towards the Ghouls den.
"Swiss." Y/n grumbled feeling her cheeks flush in the darkness but due to the amazing night vision of these creatures, she knew he probably saw it anyway.
"Mountain can fix you up and then you're coming to bed with me." the multi-ghoul snapped back causing Y/n to wince at his tone.
He did not let go or say anything until they were safely back in the Ghoul's common rooms. She was directed into Swiss' familiar room filled to the brim with music posters, music sheets, instruments, and more shapes within the darkness Y/n was not able to make out as she was plopped on the large bed big enough for more than just two. Her back was pulled flush to Swiss' chest as he yanked her by her waist to him; curling around her from behind like some kind of inhumane ghoul cape causing warmth to spread through her as she heard the subtle sniffing and the almost inaudible growl the multi ghoul let out; it was almost so silent that she felt it against her back more than hearing it.
Mountain kneeled in front of the pair with a jar in his hand filled with some kind of creamy gel inside tinted a sickly green and when he opened it the scent of earth, pine, and something almost spicy invaded her nose making her cough when it got inhaled too deeply into her lungs. The tall ghoul gave a slight rumble of amusement before his attention was drawn toward the ghoul draped over her back.
"May I?" he asked quietly and Y/n's mouth turned into a confused frown as she glanced between the pair.
Why was Mountain asking Swiss' permission? She was the one that was injured but the way her best friend tensed against her back for a moment had her ignoring the silent question in her mind and reaching up to grab at the toned forearm wrapped around her chest and gave it a few soothing strokes with her fingers. That seemed to do the trick as she felt his body slacken against her again and Mountain made a soothing noise as if in thanks to the other before dipping his fingers into the sticky mess in the jar.
He reached out towards her face and the cold substance felt almost tingly against her skin as he carefully smeared it along the bruise on her cheekbone and then returned with a new dap of whatever cream it was to the cut on her other cheek causing her to hiss out in pain as the minty tingly feeling invaded the open cut with more potency than the antiseptic crap Copia had dabbed it with earlier. The sound of pain slipping from her caused Swiss to snarl startling her and lurch forward toward Mountain nearly tumbling her along with him but Mountain seemed to have already predicted it and jerked backward just as Rain who had by this point gone unnoticed grabbed Swiss by his shoulders from where he had been perched in the bed beside them silent as a mouse to tug him back against his smaller frame; a chittering noise coming from him as he tried to soothe the other.
Y/n half turned to look at the pair with wide eyes and a hand instinctively placing it on the heaving chest behind her. "Hey there big boy, it's okay! Calm down Swiss. Mountain didn't hurt me...it's okay." she tried to soothe with a fake smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
Swiss bared his fangs again and struggled but despite the smaller frame of Rain at his back, the little ghoul was rather strong; strong enough to keep the other at bay.
"Mine!"
Y/n blinked and she inhaled sharply at the proclamation. Something in side of her seemed to click into place as she stared at how feral Swiss seemed to be and she reached out to test the theory as she rested her hand on Mountain's large shoulder only to have Swiss struggling anew and causing Rain to grunt when an elbow jabbed him in the stomach.
"Okay! Okay! Swiss hey! Look at me!" Y/n's hand yanked back and she flapped it at the other two quickly. "GO! I can handle this. You're just making him more agitated-"
"But Y/n-" Rain piped up and she shook her head once sharply.
"I think you know what's going on....and Swiss and I have to talk. But we can't talk if he's riled up right now...please just..." she sighed rubbing her forehead. "It's been a long night."
A long night that was not yet over as Mountain gave a brief nod and recapped the jar. Helping Rain off of Swiss so that the pair could slip from the room. As soon as Y/n and Swiss were alone the lanky male pulled the girl to him. Sprawling her unceremoniously on top of him as he held her almost too tightly while burying his face into her neck.
"Oof!" Y/n pushed at his stomach to get leverage but it only caused the other to tighten his hold.
So Y/n waited while Swiss calmed down enough for her to shift into a more comfortable position. Her face lifted to meet his in the dimly lit room.
"I'm going to kill him."
"You can't kill Mountain, Swiss."
The other snorted and pressed his nose against her hair; inhaling her scent like it was the last thing on earth. "I'm talking about the bastard that hurt you."
Y/n went silent. She didn't need to ask how he knew who it was; the ghoul's scent was inhuman - that was already proven when the pack barged into Copia's office earlier.
"He is my boyfriend...well I mean, ex-boyfriend now I guess." Y/n found herself relaxing with her head resting against her best friend's shoulder while she tucked herself into his body.
"He usually doesn't go this far...But, he said that I was cheating on him with my co-worker because he saw me eating lunch with him. It was a meeting to discuss a project we were working on together as a team...Ironically, my co-worker is actually gay so. Jokes on him."
"Is this the same guy....you said you met on that dating app a few months ago? Is that why you haven't been coming by as often?" Swiss' voice finally spoke into the darkness
She shrugged slightly and played with the fabric of his sleep shirt. "Yeah...I guess. I'd like to say it was because of work but...I think we both knew it wasn't. I'm sorry...for not telling you sooner. I usually called Copia to meet me outside so my scent wouldn't get to you guys..." She felt her eyes sting with tears.
"I've been so fucking stupid. I'm sorry Swiss...I'm so fucking sorry." her body trembled with her tears and the ghoul felt his heart tighten as did his arms around her to hold her still against him.
"Aw sweets, you didn't have to hold it from me...you're my best friend...me and the pack...for satanas sake Y/n we'd have pulled you out of there sooner, baby." he closed his eyes tightly and hugged her for his own comfort as much as hers.
They held each other; taking comfort for the turmoil that resided in both of their hearts due to tonight's endeavor. But it was Y/n that finally calmed down enough to speak; her voice suddenly shy as she sniffed back the rest of her tears.
"Hey Swiss..." she asked tentatively. When she received a lulling hum that vibrated into her chest from his she continued. "W-what did you mean earlier?...."
"Hmm?"
"You told Mountain..." she swallowed. "You called me yours."
Swiss' body still unnaturally so beneath her and she feared she'd said something wrong. They were best friends...it wasn't as if they hadn't talked about such things before. Well, perhaps more sexual innuendos before but that was teasing jokes and jabs. The question seemed too personal and yet a delicate matter.
"What do you know about ghouls, Y/n?" Swiss finally asked and she blinked at the soft question.
"Well, I mean you're demons...you got abilities... you're packing animals in a way and a little animalistic at times since you're not human...And you were summoned here for a reason. Why?" she tilted her head up to find that surprisingly Swiss' ashen skin was tinged with blush and he wouldn't meet her gaze.
"What comes with being a pack animal?" he insisted licking his lips
Y/n frowned thoughtfully but when she didn't reply Swiss continued. "Every creature has a partner...some animals have homosexual partnerships and others normal; some when are in close pack dynamics there is more than one partner they spend the rest of their lives with...but to continue the species every animal must have a significant other...have you ever noticed how Rain and Mountain seem close? Closer than the usual familial pack dynamics? O-Or how Dew and I are close in the same way..."
He watched slowly as the information dawned on her and Y/n pushed herself up with a pinched brow. "Are you telling me Mountain and Rain are life partners and you and Dew too?" she blinked at him. "I mean no judgment from me obviously but damn. That's news." she laughed a bit and sat up to sit crisis cross on his bed.
Swiss looked a bit frustrated as he too sat up. "Sweetheart you aren't understanding...Mates are overly protective of each other and have a stronger bond that goes deeper than a pack dynamic bond. The way Dew was acting when we barged in tonight at Copia's office...h-how I acted earlier...and nearly tore Mountain's throat out?" his eyes were insistent as he leaned closer scanning her face.
Realization dawned slowly like the sun rising over the horizon during sunrise and Swiss felt his heart constrict with nerves. "Swiss are you...."
His breath came out like a balloon popping and his head dropped to his head. "Shit baby. Dew doesn't even realize it yet...I had figured it out during your last visit before Tero's death but I didn't want to say anything because I was scared to scare you off..I didn't realize that I had almost lost you and when I saw you tonight I just- the blood...the knowledge..the fact that I hadn't seen you in such a long time I just-"
Y/n's hands gripped the front of his shirt and she was yanking him in before he could finish his ramblings. His mouth tasted too damn good as she pressed her lips to his. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she took in the sensation of kissing her best friend - it was so natural and made her feel whole...loved in a way she hadn't in such a long time. It was nothing like kissing her ex-boyfriend and a small part of her brain stupidly smacked her for being so blind to have seen the signs earlier.
When the air became too thin within the confinements of their lungs they parted with panting breaths but Swiss kept her close with a firm hold on her face; pressing his forehead to hers and crowding her against the mattress where she lay flat on her back staring up at him with wide eyes as she searched his face.
"You didn't lose me." her words came shaky as her hands loosened in his shirt only to slide up his back to hold him closer to her. "I'm sorry I was so blind...I didn't realize," she whispered feeling her throat constrict thinking that she'd isolated herself for so long because of her ex-boyfriend she missed out on finding the man she really wanted all along was right in front of her.
"Shh..." Swiss' lips pecked hers again before drawing her into another deep kiss - this time it was sweet and lingering. "I would have waited...shit, I would have been happy just to be near you even if you never knew..."
"I wouldn't have...I would have missed you and the others...the abbey and the papas too much to stay arm's length away from you guys. You guys are my home." her eyes sparkled looking up at him and Swiss shot her a toothy grin.
"So...you gonna stay?"
"Do I have a choice?" she teased rubbing her nose against his and was rewarded with a chittering sound as the multi-ghoul lowered himself fully on her and rested his head against her chest; listening to her heartbeat.
"Not anymore." his hands gripped her sides to hold her as he nuzzled at her collarbone.
Y/n laughed and sank her fingers into his curls and scraped at his scalp like she knew he liked it. "I'm all yours Swiss." she promised.
"Uh...well actually.." Swiss tilted his head up with a tentative smile.
She linked at him. "Dew doesn't know does he?"
"Well...no."
"Oh, I'm so telling him!"
"You are not!" fingers pressed to her sides causing her to shriek in laughter and wiggle beneath his hold.
When she couldn't breathe anymore Swiss stole whatever breath she did have left in her lungs with a kiss before pulling away to stare down at her. His hand came up to stroke along the side of her face and he gave her a softened smile as he rested their foreheads together again.
"Well, I suppose I can get used to my boyfriend having a boyfriend..." Y/n finally conceded with an airy but playful tone. "However will I handle two boyfriends to love me?"
Swiss grinned "Oh...I have a few ideas...." his grin turned a little more seductive and Y/n felt her heat flush.
"No...Swiss hey...no! Bad ghoul!" she scrambled from beneath him - a feat she knew he allowed while she scampered across the room and flung open the door with a wail of excited panic.
"Dew!!!"
Swiss gave a toothy grin that nearly split his face before he was launching himself down the hall full force into a chase.
Auth. Note: This is my first Ghost Band one shot so I hope it's not too bad and is entertaining at best for you guys! I love this band so much that it's unhealthy. More to come if people are interested! I have a full list of one-shots for this fandom <3
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mrswolffs-blog · 5 months
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Karma (Part 2 of It’s Over Now): Lewis Hamilton x Black!Caribbean!Reader
Please Note: No hate to Nicole, I just wanted to use her for my imagine since they were together.
taglist: @omgsuperstarg @cranberryjulce @lizvhkfbjg @1stevenlacyfan @catswag22 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @anubisnoir
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It has been a few years now since Lewis and Y/n have separated, and to be honest, he isn't enjoying himself the way he expected. After Y/n departure, he started spiralling downwards as he started having sleepless nights, he found himself always upset or anxious for no reason, he kept forgetting things, in the long run found himself going bald on the head and the cherry on top being his toxic yet loving relationship with his partner Nicole.
Lewis and Nicole were portrayed to be the loving and supportive couple in public, but no one knew what was actually happening behind closed doors. They argued on a daily basis as for the simplest of things and disagreed on everything the other person would suggest. One of the most common arguments that happens every time the house is being cleaned, is that Lewis should remove the picture on the walls that portrayed him and widely smiling Y/n in each one.
Surprisingly going a couple of months later, Nicole though that it was time for them to conceive yet Lewis objected due to his job, then a couple of years later when Lewis finally was ready, she declined because of her schedule but then decided she was ready again a couple years later. Lewis this time, had thought it through naturally and decided to decline and wait until after his retirement and that broke the dam. Nicole became so pissed that she was unaware of what she was saying and ended up revealing that she had been cheating for years, the quote "And yet you wonder why I'm cheating?! At least he sees me and my needs unlike you who acts like a fucking child and runs from maturity!" she screamed at him before stopping in her tracks at the realisation of what she said. From that day forward in 2015, Lewis cut ties with the older woman completely and only interacted by social media.
Now, it is the year 2021 and Lewis had just lost his seventh world championship after an unfair ruling by the FIA as the win went to Max Verstappen. He hung his head in defeat and shame that he was unable to do the one thing he craved, and that was to win the eight-world championship in honour of his dear Y/n. Now he sulks around his parents' house during the winter break, spiralling down into a somewhat depressive state.
Lewis' father seeing this, decided to call someone he knew would cheer him up. Anthony took his wife and ex-wife out to sea with him for some fresh air while Lewis was left home alone sulking on the sofa, until he was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Getting up and slowly making his way towards the door, he opened it to find the last person he expected to ever make an appearance in his life again.
Y/n shuffled nervously from one foot to the other as she waited for Lewis to say something. "Hi Y/n! what are you doing here?!" he tried to sound cheery but failed as his voice cracked and the tears started flowing again; he dropped his head in shame for crying in front of her again. Y/n said nothing as she stepped into the house, hugging him to her chest and closing the door before leading him to back to his seat when he was somewhat calmed. "Someone called me. I had watched the race that evening, cheering you on and I know that what they did was very unfair, however I didn't know it would have brought you this low. I know it's hard to come to terms with what happened and that it hurts really bad, but you shouldn't let it eat you up, you did all you could, and they purposefully took your reward away from you; this way you should always remember that you didn't lose it by faith, it was out of spite." Y/n encouraged him as he had finally finished crying his heart out and was now slowly falling asleep to her voice yet woke up when she stopped speaking.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the wrongs I've done to you and for making you feel pain you didn't deserve. I honestly didn't know what was going on in my head when I cheated, I guess I let the attention get to me and I used it to my advantage in the wrong way. I'm honestly thinking of retiring, I can't face anything right now, don't even know how I manage to speak to you without shame." Lewis vented as Y/n listened quietly while detangling his hair that she had been pulling out as she noticed it hasn't been washed.
"You're perfectly fine Lew" Y/n called him by the nickname she gave him. "You are a man confessing to his crimes and speaking of his fears, and I respect you for that." she calmed his racing heart. Lewis turned in her lap to look into her eyes, finding the love she always wore on her sleeves for him also shining though her eyes as she rubbed his bearded cheeks. "Do you think you could ever forgive me for what I've done to you? Do you think that I should retire? Aren't I too old for it anyways?" He sulked, feeling disappointed in himself.
"No, you will not retire, and I will make sure of it. You are just as strong if not stronger than every single one of your coworkers. You work really hard for what you've achieved and so I will not allow you to quit just because of one malfunction. As for the previous question, I've forgiven you years ago. I understand that at the time you were just getting into the crowd and wanted to see what it was like, yet I know that you've learnt your lesson and no longer fancy that type of stuff. If you are thinking about asking for another chance, the only reason that you are getting it is because your parents pleaded with. Now let's go get you in the shower and I'll clean up your mess of a room." Y/n said as she led their way up the stairs.
Lewis had showered and y/n washed his hair, she then made wait in the bathroom while she cleaned his room, she then went to make him a meal. After eating, they cuddled together, Lewis falling asleep to the rhythm of Y/n heart while she fell asleep knowing that he was already healing. Lewis' parents and stepparents came home to find the two sleeping in perfect harmony, and smiled as their boy was finally well once again.
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randoimago · 3 months
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howdy there is it okay if could ask for ace attorney headcanons on how barok susato kazuma and naruhodo would react to finding out their s/o is biracial being mixed race of japanese and British/European parents/descent I feel like the reader kept it a secret from them at first because people can get quite discriminatory towards people of mixed races I just think the readers parents had a case of forbidden love
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Fandom: Ace Attorney
Character(s): Barok van Zieks, Susato, Asogi Kazuma, Naruhodo
Note(s): I have had friends of mixed races that talked about quite a bit of discrimination they've met and it's really honestly really gross. I'm sorry that you went through that stuff and I hope these headcanons can offer some comfort.
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Barok
Well, he's made some racial comments towards Naruhodo so I feel like when first meeting you, he did the same thing. But then he grew close to you and developed feelings and realized how his words might've impacted you in the beginning. You get apologies for that before he calls you "exotic", thinking it's a compliment to describe your attractiveness.
You'll have to tell him that no, it's also kind of offensive too. Honestly, there's probably a lot of terms that you'll have to have a talk with him about just because of the time period and also how he is. It's very much a learning process as he realizes how his words must have really hurt you and he didn't even know.
He ends up giving you loads of apologies. It's very much a learning process especially since you become his partner and he really doesn't want to do anything to upset or offend you.
If you let him, then he'd like to give you a long hug with many kisses to the top of your head as he murmurs apologies again and again. You can bet that he definitely becomes a huge protector of you after that too with glaring or bringing up ways he could get someone jailed for being rude to you.
Kazuma
He scoffs when he hears you're facing discrimination. The fact that people can be so awful to other people makes him sick.
If you allow him, then he'd pull you into his arms and let you know that he still cherishes you more than anything.
Naruhodo
He already has no issues with pointing out injustices and wouldn't hesitate to point out the racism that you're going through just because you're mixed.
Might argue with you a bit if you don't want him to make a big deal about it, but he'll eventually respect your wishes.
While he doesn't completely understand how difficult things must be for you, he does understand some of the racism.
He was met with quite a bit of it when he did go to Britian originally (honestly, he probably still comes across people that aren't so quiet and asks insensitive questions).
But if he does learn you've had a particularly bad experience one day then he'll gladly take you home and make you some tea.
He's very sweet with comforting you, giving you a small kiss to your temple and even offering you a massage if you want. He doesn't think he's the best at massages though so be ready to tell him if he's being a bit too hard.
Susato
At hearing your story and why you hide your race, she's very upset. Not at you, but at how awful you're treated just because you're not what society wants you to be.
Susato understands the racism as she got a bit of it when she traveled to England, but the fact that you've had it on both sides really annoys her. She'll gladly speak out about it to those that discriminate if you want her to.
And the fact that your parents had to most likely fight to be together to have you, well Susato wants to just toss someone because it's really annoying to know you're going through so much crap because of who you are.
Gladly reminds you that she loves and cares for you. Absolutely would love to hear about your experiences (the good ones) too because she wants to hear how things might've been different in your household compared to what she knows.
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fandoms-in-law · 4 months
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Mikes Brother-in-law
Summary: Steve's in a dinner with a couple the kids don't know and Mike takes offence when he seems upset. Thankfully as odd as the conversation might be, nobody fails to tease Mike for what he says.
Authors Note: These characters are doing what they like. This was not what I expected to write for my prompt.
/\/\
Steve hadn't told them anything about the couple sat in the dinner with him. Actually he hadn't told them anything about his plans for the afternoon at all beyond that he wouldn't be available to give them lifts anywhere.
Then Mike spotted him in the dinner with this unknown couple as they headed to the arcade and everyone agreed that ensuring their Steve was safe was more important than arcade games.
Of course Steve had noticed they were there. He'd looked over and rolled his eyes as they entered. He'd also come over and dropped some money on the table hissing at them to order something at least, after the third time of one of them walking past their table to fetch cutlery and napkins in the hopes they'd hear the reason for Steve meeting these people here. Max had been the one to do it that time.
They still didn't know.
When Steve started looking, for want of a better term, heartbroken, Mike decided he didn't need to know.
“Get away from my brother-in-law! You're upsetting him!” The words were yelled before Mike entirely registered what he was saying. He was also stood at the end of Steve's table, hands clenched and five steps ahead of the rest of his friends before he was halfway through yelling.
The man Steve had been talking to bursting out laughing while Steve blinked at him in confusion and the woman smiled at him as if delighted by his actions.
“Are you here to fight for Steve's happiness, young sir? I've got a few blades we could use in our car.” The man offered just as El, Dustin and Max stood beside him, Lucas and Will staying a little behind them for the moment.
Steve's confusion melted into the protectiveness all his kids were used to seeing. “No! Gomez, you are not fighting Mike, or any of these kids.”
“Steve, perhaps you might introduce us to your brother-in-law and his friends. You know we wouldn't injure your children on purpose but they really are far better at surviving than you'd expect.” The woman spoke up, getting Steve to lean back, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Mike has never called me that before and it's really not the time to question it. Let's just say these are the kids I often look after and I know already how good they are at surviving. It still doesn't mean I'll let Gomez fight them.” Steve grumbled, before straightening again with a nod. “Okay, Morticia and Gomez, these are Mike, El, Dustin, Max, Lucas and Will. Kids, this is Morticia and Gomez Addams, apparently an aunt and uncle I never knew I had.”
“And I'm Erica, the last of Steve's kids. Why does Mike look ready to attack someone?” The call came from the door, getting identical sighs from Steve and Lucas as Erica walked over to the table.
Steve glanced back to where Mike still hadn't relaxed since coming over. “Because I didn't tell any of you kids what I was doing today and got upset when we were talking about how my parents are, I think. These guys came in shortly after we'd started talking.”
“If they do hurt you I still have a few tubes of that corrosive acid from the Russian base. I'm sure it wouldn't be pleasant if some spilled onto them.” Erica replied immediately.
That got a groan from both Steve and Dustin now, “Dustin, why does Erica have any of that stuff? You were meant to get her out not stop to steal things.”
“We were trying to save you! How could we know if it would or wouldn't be useful? And it's not like you haven't kept things like that from our adventures. That bat wasn't yours originally so you can't be annoyed.” Dustin protested not realising how interested the Addams's were or the rest of his friends besides Erica motioning for him to shut up.
Steve was pinching the bridge of his nose again. “Anything else you aren't meant to share that you want to talk about? Your pet not-a-dog? El's family? Eddie's scars? Or are you shutting up now?”
“I want to know when on earth Steve was married to Nancy actually.” Lucas piped up, teasing grin shot towards Mike. “That seems like something Will should know about to share with Jonathan.”
Mortica let out a small laugh then, reminding the group that it wasn't just them to make quips between. “It does sound like you've had a frightfully interesting time of it. We'd love to hear more, Steven. Perhaps your friends would all like to bring seats over to join us.”
“Indeed, my love. Come, come, join us. We'll get meals for all of you, of course. Is there anyone else you'd like to join us, Dear boy?” Gomez immediately grinned.
“You really don't need to.” Steve hesitated, even as the kids were brining their chairs over, Lucas and Dustin pulling a couple of tables closer to give them more space to sit.
Gomez was already waving his hand to dispel any arguments. “Not at all. You go and call anyone else you want here and we'll get something order while we wait for them to arrive.” Saying such he handed Steve a small bag of change and nodded to the door.
“Eddie tends to help keep these brats in line more than the few others my age.” Steve reasoned, accepting the instruction now. “But I'm keeping an eye on you guys. Behave for Morticia and Gomez while I'm out there and no sword-fighting.”
With Steve gone, Mike's glare returned, joined by Max, El and Dustin all scowling at the Addams's too. “You were upsetting him. We're the ones that get to do that, not you. If you're just here to abandon him later we'll have you gone immediately and without a trace.” Mike stated lowly.
“And you aren't taking him from us.” Dustin added. “Steve is ours.”
The couple laughed, just as delighted as they had been with Mike's first yell. Before they could respond to that however the waitress came and between Dustin, Max and Mike orders were decided for Steve and Eddie along with everyone else.
Once she was gone Gomez clapped a couple of times, “Completely understandable. Now come, Michael, tell us more about Steve and how he's your brother-in-law. It seems that view isn't one your friends agree with.” He invited, gesturing to the seat beside him though Mike had already sat in the seat next to Steve's.
“Well he did date my sister for basically a year, and taught me tons of stuff older brothers are meant to do and refuses to stop trying to be everyone's parents but I was the first.” Mike grumbled, looking at the table to avoid the all too welcoming smiles of the Addams' or the shit-eating grins of his friends.
“I knew you liked him! Always act like he's such a pest but you like having Steve around! You've admitted it!” Dustin crowed. “Besides that, Steve is my brother. I should be the one doing the threatening, or El as the one who'll actually win.”
Morticia leant closer, “Tell us more. Have any more of you adopted Steve as your family?”
Steve re-enters the dinner to every kid talking over each other to claim why or how he's family, only Max claiming him as a sibling while the rest just stick to family and just beams, tugging Dustin and Mike into hugs as the pair either side of his seat. “I love you brats too. Eddie will be here in ten.”
“You have a lovely family, Steve. I'm glad they were there for you when my sister should have been, when I should have been.” Morticia praised.
“Then why weren't you?” Max demanded, sounding as if she'd wanted to ask the question for a while. “He's gone through a lot alone. Why are you only turning up now?”
That got both Addams's to become serious, sharing a glance. Gomez nodded and Morticia smiled, a tighter expression than any she'd shown to the kids yet. “You've come across the subject that had young Michael so ready to fight us. It's taken so long for us to reach out to my nephew because we simply could not. His father made legal moves to prevent our presence in Steven's life until he was of age and while we could have fought back such legal motions, our home would not easily entice a court to agree that we should be allowed contact.”
All the kids tensed up at that, El's eyes narrowing and Steve reaching around Mike to rest a hand on her shoulder. “Do you mean like my Papa made the place I lived?” El asked after all of them tried to decide who would speak.
“We mean that we find no sense in limiting our children to activities and items society dictate as safe. If Wednesday wants to make electric chairs and fire crossbows inside then those are interests I refuse to keep her from. If Pugsley wants to make explosives and traps that throw knives as those who set them off then it's importance practice for the rest of us in dodging.” Gomez explained wildly, seemingly doing his best to seem harmless though his enthusiasm for his children didn't appear fake at all.
“And Grandmama has so many wonderful recipes that most Americans just don't have the constitution to stomach we've found. Unfortunately in a society like this far too many tragedies are allowed to continue unquestioned and far too few things good for us are forbidden unless hidden away behind large homes and money.” Morticia continued, shaking her head at the idea.
Steve laughed a little at that. “Well I can see why my parents didn't want you to influence me. I might've befriended Eddie far sooner if I knew my relatives were half as bizarre as you are. We got there in the end.”
“That we did, Sweetheart, that we did. Are these your aunt and uncle?” Eddie agreed, making the ones looking away from the door startle at his appearance.
Steve nodded, leaning back and twisting to grin at him, “Yes, Gomez and Morticia Addams.”
“I've heard of a few Addams's before, and I think the one time I managed to snoop around Murray's he has a file on them just for curiosities sake. Is that the family you're from?” Eddie asked, shoving Dustin along the table and pulling a chair over so he could take a place beside Steve.
Gomez jumped up to start shaking Eddie's hand enthusiastically. “It is, dear boy, oh it very much is. We're rather the centralising point of the family currently. Tell me how Murray is doing? A cousin mentioned encountering his attempts to research us.”
“Paranoid as ever and relatively fed up of his self-imposed role as matchmaker to anyone he meets. He actually thanks anyone who interrupts his meddling to say they're already dating.” Eddie laughed, “But the reason I know the name was someone suggested an Addams run record company as potentially taking on my band, unfortunately a lot happened to prevent me from making any enquiries about it.”
Morticia smiled, almost sighing, “Cousin It does have a record label. We'll be sure to pass on a mention of your band to him. What's it called?”
“Corroded Coffin. And thank you so much if you do but don't feel obligated or something.” Eddie said but it was clear he would have begged for such an offer.
Steve however frowned slightly, a small confused expression, “You've mentioned Wednesday and Pugsley, so are they my cousins? And are there a lot of other cousins of yourselves?”
“The Addams family has many branches, so many that it's far easier to just call us all cousins after the direct relations are addressed. You also have a cousin Pubert, our youngest.” Gomez explained, still standing and holding Eddie's hand so he gestured with both of them.
Dustin however grinned, “Hey Eddie, apparently Steve's married to Nancy now. Mike's claimed him as brother-in-law.” He teased, distracting the conversation again.
“I don't know, Dusty'buns. Steve could have had Karen arrange a marriage to Holly years in advance. Or perhaps you've decided you're my brother now, Mikey.” Eddie mused, freeing his hand to lean back in his chair, tapping his chin before freezing as he realised just what he'd implied.
Steve glanced once around them, nodding to see no waitresses about nor any other customers near their table mostly because the kids had stolen all the chairs from nearby tables. He looked back to Gomez and Morticia and shrugged, taking the hand Eddie had closest to him. “I think you need to accept Mike is your brother. It's the best way for this to work unless you're going to return to pushing me back to Nance.”
“Let's swap seats. I need to hug baby Wheeler in joy for this new siblinghood.” Eddie agreed, using the grip to pull Steve out of his seat and spin them both into the other seat.
Morticia reached over to pat their hands once they were sat again, “You must all come to the family gathering this winter. The two of you and all the rest of your family. For this visit we didn't want to overwhelm you but everyone wants to meet our lost nephew and all the family he's bringing into the Addams family.”
“And young Michael deserves his chance to fight for your honour. Tell us what everyone's favourite weapons are.” Gomez leant forwards curiously. “Dustin and Erica mentioned corrosive acid and a bat earlier.”
With that the conversation spiralled into, if not more comfortable subjects, happier and more interesting ones mostly unconnected to unpleasant things, barely pausing when the waitresses delivered their meals.
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innwaitress · 2 years
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a/n: it's here, the moment you've been waiting for...
genshin characters inncorrect quotes pt. 2!!!!
y/n: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on childe.  y/n: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.  y/n: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.  childe: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.  y/n: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.  childe: Well, whatever I did, I  probably deserved it.  y/n: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.
aether: Isn’t a bit dangerous?  y/n: aether, please. We’ve in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.  aether: … 
aether: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt.  aether: ...  y/n: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves in the way home. 
y/n: Who the fuck-  zhongli: Language!  y/n: Whom the fuck-  Zhongli: No.
y/n: Are you having another depressive episode?  xiao: A depressive episode?  xiao: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.
y/n: Hopefully yelan has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.  yelan: Oh, shut up and die y/n.
y/n: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!  beidou:*Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!
y/n: I think I'm falling for you.  Kujou Sara: Then get up.
itto: *running towards y/n with open arms*  y/n: *moves out of the way*  itto: Hey, why'd you move?!  y/n: I thought you were going to attack me.  itto: I was going to hug you!  y/n: Why would you hug me?  itto: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
y/n: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?  thoma: No, I said "y/n, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.
yae miko: I have an idea!  y/n: Does it involve breaking the law?  yae miko: By now don’t you think that’s a given?  y/n: I was just trying to be optimistic.  yae miko: Don’t bother.
barbara: y/n is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.  y/n: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.
keqing: Remain CALM! *slaps y/n multiple times*
kaeya: Can I have your number?  y/n, visibly texting: I don't have a phone.
ninnguang: Are you ready to commit?  y/n: Like, a crime or a relationship?
ei: *plays shreksophone*  ei: Woo.  ei: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity.  y/n: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend
 y/n: Why are you drinking? rosaria: I drink when I'm depressed.  y/n: But you're always drinking?  Rosaria: *smug grin*
y/n: Can you keep a secret? 
yoiymia: Well, I'm good until I meet the next person. 
Computer: Please enter a password.  chongyun: *types in y/n*  Computer: Your password is too weak.  chongyun: How fucking DARE YOU-
y/n: Love makes people do stupid things.  xingqiu I love everything!  y/n: That explains a lot. 
y/n: Can I bother you for a second?  diluc: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
y/n: Bro-  kazuha: No, no, hold up, rewind.  kazuha: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro?? 
hu tao: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!  y/n: That doesn't exist.  hu tao: Not with that attitude.
lisa: y/n, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!  y/n: Rebuke? Is that a word?  lisa: You have all invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!  y/n: What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something? 
y/n: So what do you have planned for the future?  xiangling: Lunch.  y/n: No, like long term.  xiangling: Oh...um, dinner?
Lumine: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.  y/n: Those are wanted posters! scaramouche: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.  y/n: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?
y/n, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!  shenhe: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
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firstyok · 1 year
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- Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse End Notes -
So, I had to do this because I've never been happier in my life, until I witnessed my babyboys akkaye returning back with a passionate love sequel this month. You have no idea how much I adored, loved and enjoyed these 2 episodes bit by bit, it filled my entire heart with ecstasy, love and joy. So, here I am again, ready to appreciate the hell out of these outstanding episodes for my AkkAye babies. Stay with me, and hear me out on this.
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Below, I've addressed the core main things of these episodes which I loved, enjoyed and adored the most. Honestly, every single second of these episodes were a chef's kiss for me, but of course I can't write single thing out there. I would run out of images, and I hate making part two's. So, here I am, with the best and main things about this show, for which I'd basically keep watching these episodes over and over again until I witness SanRay.
BEST THINGS ABOUT THE EPISODES
1. Message on Perspective and Communication in a Relationship
Let's rule out the complex part first. The Eclipse original show ended with Akk and Aye getting together, and it was the most thrilling moment to experience that time. But now, since they're already past that, AkkAye are in a relationship for quite a while now, and these two episodes were truly valuable in terms of how "romantic relationships are not always about rainbows and butterflies". It takes a freaking lot more to maintain and cherish the relationship you have with your partner, than to simply end it or start a new one. I think maintaining a relationship is the hardest thing of any kind of love, and this show portrayed it in such a simple yet beautiful way. Yes, sure - the birthday thing could be quite a common silly problem, but it is a very realistic one.
For someone like Akk, who underestimates himself and cares so much for others, and what others think of him - it was very likely of Akk to react that way. Deep down, he is excited about his birthday like anyone would, but meanwhile he doesn't want to bother anyone for him, especially Aye. He is not an expressive person, due to all the events that impacted him in Suppalo, but he has softened down and feels comfortable alot more than before. He doesn't say anything about his birthday, instead he expects Aye to remember it by himself, and not by Akk, which is normal. But on the other hand, Aye has other plans.
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Aye is secretly planning a surprise for Akk's birthday, and everyone in his friend group is aware of that, except Akk. He was truly invested into carving that special song for him for the last few days, that Akk notices him paying less attention, while his birthday is approaching. So, Akk feels extra worse. On top of that, Aye acts completely oblivious to the birthday, he acts as if he completely forgot and has no idea of it's arrival. I understand Aye's perspective for keeping the surprise and gifting it to Akk like dropping a bomb, but he is so engrossed in that future part, the he is unseeing how much hurt Akk is going through right now. Aye, who believes Akk should stop caring about others too much, and think about himself - Aye wants Akk to talk about it, but also interrupts him simultaneously. Because he doesn't want the surprise to go all out beforehand.
There you have it. You cannot completely put the blame on either of them, and also you cannot give any credit as well. Because both of them are at fault. People aren't perfect, and that's what makes life so beautiful and flawed. While Aye is preparing beautiful things for Akk - Akk sulks, believing that Aye actually forgot his birthday. It's extremely common in real life, don't you think? Even if it sounds stupid, if that thing happened to me, I'd too question whether he forgot my birthday or not, or I'd similarly be too excited for the gift that I forgot how much pain I'm giving to the other. They assumed things, and created a gap of communication, which is understandable but also something to be repaired - every couple, every being needs time to rewind and reset. I think it was a dramatic and lovely presentation of how Akk and Aye are definitely the two sides of the same coin. They are different, they have different perspectives, different communication and love styles, but despite their differences, they balance each other out. That is why - Akk needs Aye, and Aye needs Akk.
2. Wasuwat's Short Film
Another important theme of these two episodes was definitely around Wat's short film and the new shooting scenes for them. I loved how the show portrayed Wat's new beginning in his career due to his love for Indie films. I believe dreams should be chased and followed, no matter what the consequences bring us. The entire process of Wat bringing his group of friends to the Theatre place, and those quirky fantasies in the minds of the Akk, Aye, Kan and Thua, were quite dramatic and also enjoyable. After that, the preparation of the script along with the research from both the duos, was meaningful. It's like the central messages of the show were combined beautifully - the message on perspectives along with Wat's dream. They merged both the things cleverly.
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Another dialogue from Akk, which struck me hard - while Kan and Akk were assuring Wat for his big day of Short Film Competition, Akk said that it was enriching and fortunate enough that Wat has got to follow his dream. That dialogue struck me super hard. I was like, damn that's right. It doesn't matter whether the dream of us succeeds at the end, what matters is the satisfaction and peace that we've done, we've tried to go after that dream atleast once in our life. I believe so too. We must follow or atleast try to chase the dreams we have, no matter how impossible it seems. Trying something never hurt anybody. Apart from that, I loved that constant support Wat got from Teacher Sani and his friends - they played a massive role in Wat's life, and if it taught us something - it is how we should never discourage anyone for their dreams, no matter what it is. Later on, when Wat won the award, I was genuinely so emotional, like that boy deserved it. He also got exposure to his favourite director P'Nut, which is far more ecstatic. In short, Wat's film played a huge role when it came down to the message of following your dream, because you love it.
3. Genuine Friendships
Real Friendships are dead rare to find in life. Let's be honest, how many friends do you have who truly have the best interest for you? Having a real friend in life is like winning half tha battle. Friends and family are always responsible for carving out your beliefs, morals, values and who you'd be becoming in the future. The beautiful friendship of Akk, Kan and Wat is outstanding, and when Aye, Thua and Namo joins the squad, it just becomes more fun, exciting and stronger. When it comes to our oldest trio; Akk, Kan and Wat - I absolutely adore their friendship.
Have you seen how different Akk is from Kan, and Kan is from Wat? Everyone in the friend squad is different, possessing different interests and goals in life. Technically from an objective perspective, you'd see they are incompatible. But then, what makes their friendship so strong and deep? The answer is respect, love and understanding. Yes, Wat loves indie films, which Akk and Kan aren't interested in. But what they do is encourage, motivate and assure his friend of his talent, and worth, and pushes him forward to follow that dream. They cheer for him, write scripts for him, eventhough they can do other things.
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Now, that's what I call a true friend. No two people are completely similar - even the most compatible friends have severe differences, but what makes friendships beautiful is acceptance. You accept and love the person the way they are, and strive to make them their best, by constantly supporting them and wishing good-intent. Having a group of these friends is like a biggest blessing they could ever find. Aye helped Thua with his family issues, even though he didn't even know him well that time. But he still chose to help him.
That's why I call a good intent. Aye and Thua writing the script together and subtly hinting Akk, but not talking behind his back - it is another strong point how these friends are genuine and real. All of them wish the best for another, and it is just so fulfilling to see. When Namo, who is not an actual member of the group, was upset about his dating life - did you see how Akk and Aye were concerned and went to check on him? I truly adored that scene. It portrayed how they care for Namo too, who is not that close to them like others, but seeing Akk care for him, really melted my heart. If true friendship isn't this, then I don't know what is.
4. AkkAye Night Pool Scene
You've no idea how much I adored and enjoyed every second of Akkaye's night pool scene. The moment was private, intimate and romantic, all at the same time. Eventhough they were still having a their silent fight, but the moment was just wonderful - maybe because it felt so realistic, sweet and vulnerable altogether. Firstly, the setting is outstanding - the quiet night, along with the faint tint of dim lights from the rooms far away, and the soothing water sounds from the pool. Every aspect created a sensual and lovely ambiance for our couple. It began with Aye asking Akk to play the guitar, which created another air of romance. But Akk was still upset with Aye, so I was glad that he atleast subtly confronted him. Eventhough Aye didn't give a satisfactory answer, since he wanted to hide the surprise but the way he handled Akk was extremely heartwarming.
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He knows how Akk is warm for his kisses and love, and simply uses it to calm him down. The moment was ethereal and natural - when Akk was reaching his edge and was about to cry while venting out, Aye held him and kissed him. That was the moment, I became freaking soft. In no time, Akk melted again, and the kiss was beautiful to witness. The remaining moment when Akk slept on Aye's lap, and kept playing around by calling him friend - it was such a fun and playful moment, packed with three passionate kisses. I kept repeating that part, it was so charming, romantic and also sensual with twist of fun - I lived for that thing. I absolutely love how Aye handles Akk, it's just so perfect. The last part when they both hugged and slept right near the pool till the morning, was adorable. They were all jittery and nervous once they woke up, being so obvious to their friends. The entire pool scene was one of the best moments in thr entire show, for me.
5. Aye's Surprise Song for Akk
Before I say anything else, let me begin by how mesmerising and heartwarming the song is. One of the best Osts I've ever heard in Thai BL shows, for sure. It is soothing, enchanting and most importantly full of heartfelt lyrics and soothing melody. This song will make your day easily. Now, coming back to the scene - it was so painful to see Akk feeling devasted on how Aye forgot his birthday while being in the club with his friends. To add more salt to the wound, Nami mentioned that Aye maybe meeting someone else - which obviously Akk wouldn't believe, but the way his insecurities are increasing, this man felt the worse that ever. He was completely hopeless at this point. Exactly then, the stage lights turned up and we could hear the guitar strings. Believe me, the joy and hope on Akk's face was everything I was looking for. The way he was relieved and cried emotionally while listening to Aye's song for him; I truly wanted to give that boy my entire heart and hug him so tight.
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That part made me an emotional mess. I loved how Akk got to sing his part as well, I love his voice so much - that beautiful duo song was everything that i wanted after so much doubt, pain and insecurity on Akk's side. Finally, my babyboys have made peace among themselves and my Akk baby is now all assured. What could make me happier than this? But something did. The tiny, sweet kisses that Akk kept pestering on Aye made me the weakest. Such a pure love with so much endearment. I don't even know what to say, after this scene - everything just kept getting better and better. How Akk and Aye shared their old rule of one punch and one kiss, along with accepting each other as one another's space - every single thing freaking made me crazy, happy and giddy. I love them so damn much, it hurts.
6. The Love-Making Scene
The way the story of AkkAye ended - I think it was the most perfect way that this show could've ended. I'm sure nobody else can manufacture a better ending for these two than this one. From their sensual shower scene to their hot passionate making out one - my eyes had a total delicious feast of meal, and I'm all up for it. It's true that the scene will typically be remembered for their intimate moment, but I'd like to point out the amount of vulnerability it presented, which made the love-making more meaningful and deep. The shower scene was domestic and had the aura of a warm, cozy and home-like vibe where a couple is simply having a blast just being around one another.
I adored when they were drying one another's hair, playing guitar and just having a wonderful time together before going to bed. It was so satisfying to witness. Later on, another best moment was when my baby Akk asked Aye to tell he loved him; I was incredibly soft that time. Akk is someone who has a hard time asking something, or wondering if he's a burden to other people, he put other's needs first.
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For someone like him to open up and ask something for himself was an achievement, indeed. Aye teased him and tried to delay his answer to that, which made Akk insecure once again. But I'm glad that Aye responded him with his actions - I absolutely loved that slow deep kiss from Aye with a soft 'I love you'. It truly spoke millions - the kiss seemed like a strong promise with lots of emotions packed with it. That's why I felt goosebumps in that moment. I won't lie but my heart was skipping the entire time. Akk was being extra playful when he denied to say it back and the expression on both of their faces was just iconic.
I cannot stress enough how much died at their kisses and making-of scene at the end - my heart was weak, and wasn't coping up well with those passionate lip kisses, thigh grabs and the sizzling chemistry. I could feel the tension right through the screen and I'm not complaining at all. It was such a rollercoaster journey to watch AkkAye evolve from their Suppalo days into this - I feel so freaking proud of them.
7. The Kisses and the Locations
The Locations of the episodes were stunning and gorgeous? The kisses from Akkaye were steamy, sexy and delicious? I don't know what else should I add on. Like, have you noticed how seductively they both kept kissing and making out at every gorgeous location of the episode? From the first shot in the Brokeback Mountain, to the to another one in that Bicycling Location where they wore caps. Like, please get a grip you two - they kept doing passionate kisses for long moments at every beautiful scene, which constantly made my heart flutter. The scene where they were running and chasing one another at the flower field - I was so freaking soft the entire time, there was a lovely cheek kiss from Aye, but the rest of it was adorable, packed with pastel aesthetic and fluff moments.
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Their smiling faces with so much happiness and love was all I needed for making my day. Even if we rule out the locations, the cinematography was on point. It was soothing, soft and absolutely ethereal witness. The club where Aye sang with Akk, or the Movie Theatre location where Wat won his award - all of the places and locations were worth watching the episodes. Especially, how can I not mention the trip place where they stayed in their rooms. The magnetic night time under the moonlight near the pool, I love everything about this show. I don't know what to say anymore, I'd probably peace out now.
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I'd truly miss AkkAye with the bottom of my heart, until I witness SanRay again. The characters, the show, the deep raw emotions - everything that this series has brought to the table is a masterpiece and has set high standards for future bl shows. All I want to say is this show has given me enormous happiness and joy. I want to FirstKhao to keep getting versatile roles in many more series in the future; whether as a couple or individually. I just want my babies to shine brighter and keep getting ahead in life.
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I saved up to go to a curly hair specialist to make my hair more manageable and shorter since I've experienced bad hair loss due to stress. The consultation consisted of her explaining what curly hair is, that I'm using the wrong products (which I've been using for years back when my hair looked good), saying my hair loss isn't due to stress, that it's products, etc... I'm non confrontational and just wanted to get it done with. I showed her reference pictures of when I had more hair, I noted that I wanted that length again (shoulder length), when I showed her more for angles she said "I don't want to see other curly haircuts." At this point I was getting ready to cry because this is such a sensitive topic to me. We go on to the cut and she isn't cutting much of if, no way would it reach my shoulders when dry. I needed it to be there though because my length is not manageable. She said she'd get to it. Then she dried it, did face framing (which looks awful considering I don't have much hair). I just paid and left. I can't call her again to "fix it" because she cut the face framing pieces way too short. I don't want to sit in that chair again and hear how I'm just not doing it right. The other specialist hairdresser in my city doesn't take new clients. Everyone I know keeps saying how excited they are to see my hair and it hurts because this isn't what I asked for, nor will it look as good as they're expecting because I lack the volume. It hurts to hear that and them dismissing that I have hair loss. I've just been crying all day because the cut is awful on me and because there's just so many gaps. I feel like I wasted so much money. I just wanted to feel pretty.
Wow. I'm so sorry! It really sucks when people who are supposed to provide a service on YOUR terms can get away with acting like this.
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