#I'm scared! I hope to fuck she doesn't decide to get tumblr!

[wolves-etc]

thoughts on The Last Of Us episode one, largely in the order I had them:

[thoughts on: 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8 | 1.9]

(I have some spoilers from tumblr, a vague awareness of the older gays & younger gays situations, and a friend's recommendation that I'd really like this show. I didn't realise how evocative this would be in a mid-pandemic world. the show quickly set me right.)

— all kudos and respect to mr "I have an opportunity to infodump to a crowd about disturbing fungal diseases and I am going to make the most of it." loses points for warning people about hypothetical future dangers while actively smoking at them.

— the views we get of the crowd and the host during the second half of his speech are interesting - they're so still, all rapt attention, while he's talking about humans made puppets. it's unsettling.

— and the visuals during the theme music? gross. the guy who recommended this to me is squicked out by fungus. I may have used the words "wetly unfurling" while confronting him about this.

— I'm struck by the apparent ritual of joel setting his alarm, sleeping through it or ignoring it, and having to be alerted by his daughter anyway. he's a mess. (<3)

— there's something very real and unsanitised about their home environment. sarah's presumably not the worst cook in the house, but still they're eating eggshell. there's takeaway in the fridge that tommy sniffs before having any (though I wish he didn't decide against it then put it back.)

— and joel's shirt is on inside-out. bless him.

— sarah and joel passive-aggressively siccing the neighbours on each other is bitchy and great

— the first glimpse of the unrest of the pandemic being someone visibly panicking, closing the shop, herding sarah out, telling her to go straight home? I'm trying not to do too much real-life comparing. but that's ouch.

— we have a dog!! a border collie!! mercy I love you I am giving you up for dead given the genre we're in but I very much hope to be proven wrong <3

— "three nails plus one cross equals four-given." please, please tell me people don't speak like that. lie if you must

— the mental shift from "that blurry old lady in the background needs medical attention" to "oh. oh this is a horror show, the characters just don't know that yet, oh no" was a fun one

— "and you were never gonna [get the watch fixed] for yourself" OH BOY

— it's functional depression vibes in joel and it's intense. he won't get the watch fixed for himself, and he probably wouldn't celebrate his birthday for himself either - I'd buy that the pancakes could have been more for sarah than him, but then she insists on cake, and he doesn't suggest anything he'd enjoy better. still, he seems willing to make an effort because she wants to, and that's nice.

— that moment, sitting down to watch a movie together, sarah falling asleep against him? joel's a mess, but he has a good relationship with his daughter, and that's refreshing to see. there's real love there.

— mercy is a very good dog and sarah COULD DO WITH MORE ANXIETY SLASH SURVIVAL INSTINCT, FRANKLY,

— and we get the first glimpse of joel being brutal and unhesitating when it's called for. the sense that he's already made a shift in thinking that sarah's slower to - she's scared, crying, not yet really believing that it was necessary.

— sarah in the back of the car being smart enough to put together - given what she knows - that any one of them could be infected. it's awful.

— "[they've] got a kid, joel." "so have we. keep driving." fuck

— (how must that feel for sarah? if she's the thing to be protected, it must be her fault.)

— okay the infected's too-quick movements and bird-like head tilts? very "inhuman software on human hardware." it's cool.

— this scene here, though. there's a lot here. they're saved, in the nick of time, by a soldier. the soldier receives orders that he has to double-check. joel calls him sir, says please don't, has to know what's coming. it's unfair and it's horrible and there's nothing he can do.

— and I had a lot of thoughts about that. about how the US military - quite aside from the huge wrongs it does to other countries - promises people to chance to do some good, and to be a part of a family, and betrays them on both counts. leaves its soldiers with trauma and no way to manage it. leaves them, perhaps, with chronic depression, in a job I don't even want to speculate about because neither the military nor construction work are kind to the body. it's betrayal on top of betrayal as standard. and it's cruel, very cruel, that the military betrays joel again here. (edit for reasons and for at least one "article" possibly lying to me)

— and it's a fucking needless way for sarah to die. fuck.

— okay. okay.

— we get this little reminder that the birds, the trees, the sunlight, they all keep going. no matter what goes on with humans. and I, for one, find that comforting.

— and that comfort is VERY NEEDED because holy shit it's twenty years later and joel barely even hesitates to throw a bound child's body onto the fire. (practical and brutal, when it's needed. I don't even want to wonder whether he's done it before.)

— he's still wearing his broken watch and he is very much not okay.

— tess is all steel. I'm a little scared of her as a person and I love her as a character. what the fuck are they both up to that they can handle criminal dealings like this.

— "I promised him you wouldn't hurt him, but I would very much like for you to hurt him." CLEAR AND TO THE POINT.

— no but that's a lot of fun though. clear communication, what seems like no real lies when she's negotiating with her captor, just a forthright attitude that's so easy to believe and a comfortable willingness to mislead him.

— "you don't have a fucking ear on your fucking head" would be a fun way to accuse someone of not listening

— "y'all talk it through, but please remember that I'm bleeding out." I LIKE MARLENE

— and here we see joel's fight response to trauma, which will, I hope, serve him well. that flashback was evil though.

— what the FUCK is the expression on ellie's face. is that awe. is that delight. miss, you're very fucked up, do you know that

things I expected: ellie being a murder child; joel being a traumatised badass with a soft spot for her. did NOT expect ellie to be THAT much of a murder child, or joel's soft spot to be that well-armoured. this is gonna be interesting to see.

and I didn't expect tess, who's interesting, and scary in her own right, and rugged in a way women aren't generally allowed to be in the zombie genre. this was a really pleasant surprise.

#the last of us hbo #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #angst tag #orig #at the time of polishing I have actually seen and loved the next episode too #remains to be seen whether I'm gonna tidy up my thoughts for each one but I'll try #just don't look too deeply into the tangent about the military and we'll all be fine <3

[wambs]

Bfmfjfnfj for REAL like. I think part of it is bc Shiv took a really huge blow with Logan's death so everyone's like how can Tom be an asshole now of all times. But here's the thing. Her dad dying doesn't erase the shit she put Tom through, which is more than just cheating on him (already horrible), and it irks me so much that they downplay Shiv's abuse towards him. Like yes he's an asshole and selfish, but you don't need to pretend like Shiv has done nothing wrong to justify your anger. Like. Shiv's abuse is so layered and constant especially during the first season, practically every scene between the two she's dismissive and mocking with him. And it's not like we're saying Tom isn't equally fucked up in how he behaves with her especially in how he's so pushy about getting her pregnant. And that's the thing, they're both horrible towards each other and we don't need to water these characters down to Victim Woman and Evil Man to enjoy them. Please stop!!!! Also I feel like people jump to Shiv's defense over made up arguments from made up people??? At least here on tumblr I've never seen the "tomgregs who hate Shiv" everyone's always whining about. At most I see posts saying she's not perfect and then people complaining about sexism in fandom LOL. Also also, last ep with the ear flick scene made a lot of people uncomfortable and rightfully so imo, it was meant to, but the virtue signaling is getting a bit too much gjmdjdk and equating an ear flick with domestic violence is a BIT fucked up in my opinion.

In any case I hope the writers aren't planning on escalating this and that it was meant to read as Tom just reacting to Shiv not backing off, bc if they take the Tom-Logan parallels to the extreme I might have to check out lol. I'm scared bc they have shown us Tom's violent side with Greg, and with the dynamics shifting... Idk.

This is going to get me cancelled for sure but fuck it, right?

I like Shiv, but only when she is without Tom? They are just fucking terrible with each other. Shiv uses her sexuality as a weapon, or perhaps a tool to hurt Tom. Perpetually. With cheating, with the open marriage, and trying tom to participate in it, etc., in early season one and late season three by hurting him during sex the first physically, the other mentally. I don’t think it as refreshing and ground-breaking or even entertaining as some fans, but hey, to each their own, tomgreg also has mental and physical abuse in there, to some extent.

I don’t want to defend Tom in anyway, because you are right, he is no saint, but we talk used (before season 4) talk about the pyramid of abuse in succ, where Logan’s abuse of his children was getting passed on to other people via his children, and just how fucked up that was, and how this needs to change, why are we suddenly so against Tom calling Shiv out on her insecurities and pointing out he has been hurt by Shiv? It’s true? Yes, she has just lost her father, but you are right, their issues started way before that.

To me, the ear flick was did not equal to domestic abuse but stayed on the same level of childishness as Shiv relentlessly trying to step on his shoes because she was feeling bad for herself. Tom deciding to take direct action against the source instead of this usual move of weathering through abuse and then taking it out on Greg in most insane ways imaginable is, at least to me, quite interesting. We don’t talk about it and what it might mean enough.

The fandom seeing any critique directed at a female character and saying it borders on fans being sexist is nothing new, but it is worrying here, where, textually, the point of this character is to be flawed and fucked up? We joke about them all being our poor little meow meows but surely critical thinking has not been lost along the way? The whole point of this show is to question how much of the kid’s actions can be blamed on Logan, and how much of it is the kid’s fault. If we decided everything is Logan’s fault, then the kids are nothing but his reflections, his agency in the world, with no autonomy, all of their actions can be traced back to Logan.

I am not sure I enjoy this season at all, which is super odd, because we are now halfway done? The writers did say we will get to find out if tomshiv were ever anything real in the second art of the season, which is good because my POV on this changes daily. Yeah, Tom used his relationship with Shiv to breeze through the ranks, but he also seemed genuinely in love and therefore hurt by Shiv’s actions too? Yes, Shiv has been historically abusive, cold, and dismissive, but she seems to care about Tom from time to time. But is it enough? Idk.

#thank you #anonymous #answered #i am not tagging it as anything else #if you read it and dont like it just block me please

[jungwoniics]

okay since dumblr glitched and everything i wrote was gone, i'll make it more neater and clearer for you 🥺 also this will get long lia :) and no problem if you replied late as tumblr is not only your world 😍

yes, it's true and even i'm glad how close you two became because elly didn't have much friends in real life 😔 and i'm happy she mad few friends here and her therapist reccomended her to write to bring her joy 😊 and i'm happy she's living her life 🥺🤧

so far it's going better but i hope it would be a little more better and thank you for sating such nice words 😭🤧 i always needed someone to talk, who can understand me being of the same age as me. thank you so much lia 🥺 i hope your year is going well too

also my birthday is on 23 feb and i follow IST time zone 😊 yes yes yes!!! let's be friends and #4lyfers, yes we are in the same age and will be in the same class too, i wonder you are grade 10 too??

and yes we can become each other's #4lyfers like really?? cause i have fucking trust issues :( i trust anyone easily 😞 maybe we can make a unit name for each other since both of our name start with L sooooooo???? what do you say?

okay, see these are my favs (btw i'm not keeping up with their content because i currently have my final exams going and they'll end on 24 may. also i haven't caught up their content for the past 5 months 😭) —

enha : 02z (soft spot for rest of enha 🥺😭🤧 but i'm an ot 7 tbh 😭😭)

txt : taegyu and yeonbin (soft spot for ningning but basically i'm an ot 5 🥰)

trainee a : still can't decide 😞

and i don't stan many groups because time doesn't permit and i only listen to your semis sometimes 😔 lmao!! i'm sorry we don't share similar biases but maybe some may differ 🤣

also i see you are getting into treasure, they used to be my ultimates but now i lost interest because of their hiatus just like other yg groups and i'm sorry to say this, yg ain't my cup of tea but i support yg groups.

and i have some questions to ask you, so here they are — 1) do you hide your tumble account from your parents or do they know it too??

2) did you create another gmail exclusively for tumblr only because i used to do that…

3) i get scared off being caught if my mom sees me writing fanfiction because back in 2021 i opened enha fan fiction account on insta and she caught and never said me to do like that but i discovered tumblr in mid may and i badly wanted to start but deleted everytime because i was scared that my mom will find out 😭😭

yeah that's it lia and i'd sit my pants and would cry if that happened, lmfao.

also you can feel free to ask me any questions lia 🥰🥰 idk what questions i'd ask and i felt comfortable talking to you and please do tell me if you feel uncomfy with me.

thank you 💖 — loki

oh omg i didnt know that about elly 🥺🤧 im reallly glad to be one of her moots fr 🥰🥰

yes i think 2022 hasnt really been an easy year for any of us so far 😭😭 ofc i'm always here if you ever need to talk/rant about something <3

oh em gee yes we are #4lyfers 😍 ohmygosh yes unit name..... unit name...... i cant think of any right now 😭😭

omg good luck for your exams !! im sure you'll slay them 😁

ok to answer your qns:

i actually have no idea if they know about my tumblr acc or not lol i think my mum knows i use blr but she doesnt know i write here??? yeah lol

i mean yes at first i created a new email for tumblr but now i use that email for all my other priv stuffs too lol

NO OMG BFF MY MUM FOUND OUT ABOUT MY ENHA FF ACC TOO but she found out about it after i wasnt really active on it anymore so tbh i didnt mind deleting the acc lol but ya she doesnt exactly restrict me from it? she js tells me to be careful of who i speak to online since i was almost scammed once BUT THANKFULLY I WASNT istg the scammers really shld brush up on their grammar 🤭

oh well i dont rly have any qns in mind rn lol but i really do enjoy interacting with you loki <33

#[ ❀ ] — lia’s anons: loki ♡ #[ ☏ ] — letters: loki anon

[david-watts]

chest hurting hours 

#I'm scared! I hope to fuck she doesn't decide to get tumblr! #because then it REALLY seems like she's only getting social media to stalk me! #well... she did say she got insta to keep an eye on me... but she was joking. right?

[roxyfoxgamer150]

Scenario ask letss gooo:D

(This is gonna be two scenarios, but you can pick on what you wanna do first😅)

First(this is a short one) : observer going into an Au where at first it not so different, but the madrigal family doesn't pay attention to Mirabel, but it's worst. Not only does she get put to the side, she also gets blamed by mostly abuela and Isabella if something or anything goes wrong, and the family still cares about her, but they sometimes have to agree with abuela(pls don't think this is a AU where Mirabel is hated, she's not, just neglected that's all)

So after celebrating Antonio's ceremony, Camilo decided to invite some friends over to breakfast, and it's some kids that so happens to bully Mirabel. Mirabel wanted to speak up about something but gets cut off by a very annoyed Isabella and tells her to shut up, Camilo's "friends" Start to laugh and agrees with Isabella but with some insults as well. Observer had enough of this(she just really hated people who talk sh*t to someone who didn't even do anything wrong) and decided to walk over there and just maybe give them a little scare. She transformed into her Jaguar form and decided to stand right next to Mirabel, of course Mirabel and the other family members(except for Antonio) got terrified of that, Abuela quickly asked Antonio to know what it wants but before he could speak, observer already spoke, they were surprised that they heard the Jaguar talk even though they did not have Antonio's gift. Observer started to defend Mirabel, telling the bullies and Isabella to shut up and just let her talk, one of the bullies stood up and just started talking sh*t about Mirabel, and the last thing he said pushed observer to the limit, "please, she's giftless and not even special like the rest of her family, she's probably not even gonna get somewhere in life, she's weak and sensitive and I could beat her in a fight, I literally have never seen someone so pathetic and more useless before in my entire life" Observer was pissed, she looked at him dead in the eye and growled, of course this scared them, but for observer it wasn't enough, he wanted to show these bullies and the familia what a powerful gift looked like, transforming back into her normal self, she had her hood down, one of the bullies quickly asked them who they were, observer looked at all of them, took her hood down and said"I am the observer, I am a witness of life"her eyes were glowing red and just as she said that, she created multiple portals around them, all of them were shocked and terrified at the same time, Julieta finally was able to speak up "Mirabel? "

(Ok nevermind I'll just send the other one later, this is already took a ridiculous amount of time to write and I am tired, I'm sorry if this is bad, I'm really sleepy and my brain is not functioning correctly. But that's it for now, I really hope you make this into a fic, it will make my day a bit better than usual :D, but that's all, lexdrigo out (☞ ᐛ )☞ )

Unfortunately, Tumblr crashed three times while I wrote this, it hates the fact I was getting onto the FUCKING LAST PART.

Don't worry I'll keep editing this each day!

I just have to do the LAST PART first because I still have the idea.

—————

The witness of life itself

[Currently being edited because of crashing every. damn. time.] [If incomplete, I have given up because of the 4th or 5th crashing]

"Mirabel, can you leave? You're becoming annoying." Isabela said to her sister while walking away, making Mirabel wilt.

——

"Puh-lease-!" 'Dramatic please much?' "She's giftless and not even special like her own family, she's probably not even going to get somewhere in her life, she's weak and sensitive and I can beat her in one blow. I have literally never seen someone so pathetic and more useless in my whole entire life!" Ricard shouted, insulting Mirabel, who was crying silently in her chair now.

'I. Am that giftless family member, you bitch.' Observer thinks, she finally had enough.

She turns back into her human form, shocking everyone around her. She wore a royal blue cloak with its hood covering her face, she wore a plain white pintuck shirt that had blood splatters.

Everyone at the table gasped, "Who.. who are you?" Juan hesitantly asks her. Outside, only her lower jaw could be seen, but if she removed her hood, you could see her eyes gleaming with mischief.

She slowly brings her hands up to her hood. She thought of a sentence in her head.

'You want a powerful Madrigal? Fine.'

She fully removed her hood, everyone stood in shock and surprise, especially Mirabel, 'That's- that's me!'

'I'll give you one.'

"I am the observer, I am a witness of life itself." Herer eyes glowed red in anger, she created multiple portals around the Madrigals and the three bullies.

Each of them showed the other AUs, although each stand out.

One had the Madrigals fighting men in uniforms victoriously, one had Bruno attacking Mirabel, one had the villagers begging for mercy under the Madrigals.

And one showed Pedro surviving.

All of them were in shock but absoliteky terrified at the same time, the one who got out of it first was Julieta.

She stared at the cloaked person, her eyes widened.

"Mirabel?" She asks, Observer Mirabel stares at her once she said that.

"Hello." Observer says in a neutral tone, not showing any emotions.

"Will you love Mirabel as the rest of you? Or will you love her because I forced you too?"

#mirabel madrigal #encanto au #observer mirabel au #mirabel au #random thought i had lmao #julieta madrigal #isabela madrigal #mentioned Pedro Madrigal #mentioned Bruno Madrigal

[pigeonp0st]

hi! I'm new to tumblr so sorry if I request wrong or something but could you do a natasha x reader where the reader is natasha's secret girlfriend and the team finds out? You can take it in whatever direction you want but some ideas are them almost breaking up because one of them doesn't want to tell the team or the team being surprised that the reader is the opposite of Natasha in a lot of ways or the team finding out after one of them casually lets it slip in conversation. Thank you!

Natasha Romanoff x Reader #4

Words: 1,569

Warnings: I don’t think there’s any?

Notes:

Thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy! (Sorry for spelling mistakes! Looking for them is something I despise to do.)

———-

Natasha is captivating, you’ve come to realize.

You knew it before, when the two of you were just partners and friends, but now—now it shines in the brightest of ways.

Natasha is captivating. She’s captivating to you like watching your favorite character in a TV show, or like honey is to bees, or like the ocean is at first to baby turtles trying to make their way to safety.

Natasha is also safety...which in hindsight probably makes you the turtle, and since you’re the turtle—the Avengers are the birds trying to eat you.

(Yes, this is a messed up analogy.)

Instead of rushing through the birds and taking risk—the risk being coming forward about your relationship with Natasha—you’ve decided to hide in the sand, away from everything scary..and really, so be it if you starve because of it.

Natasha thinks the whole turtle and bird analogy is dramatic, but she says, looking concerned and slightly confused, the ocean and the turtle one is sort of, weirdly, sweet.

Then she says, hesitantly like she’s not sure if she’s understanding properly, “if the birds are keeping you from the ocean—me—then, I mean, you aren’t with me right? You aren’t safe.”

It takes you a couple of long moments to catch what she’s saying, but once you do you slump into bed besides her to curse into the pillow, and for the rest of that night Natasha distracts you with food and movies.

———

You think about the conversation two weeks later and realize that Natasha isn’t safe either. These people, these Avengers, they’re her family. They’re the people who have accepted her, and if this is the one thing they can’t accept—if you loving her, and her loving you in return is the one thing they can’t accept about her—well...it’ll ruin her.

You don’t want the relationship the two of you have to be the thing that ruins her. Even the thought of it, of being the reason she loses something so vital to her...it makes you feel nauseous.

Thus...stuck between a rock and a hard place (a really fucking suffocating rock), sitting in the empty kitchen at six am in the morning, is where you vow to do your best to hide your relationship; for her, but also for you.

It’ll be hard but you have to TRY, because the other option is…

It’s Plan B.

———

There’s a weight on your shoulders that wasn’t there before, and it keeps feeling like it’s getting heavier and heavier, and you just—

Fuck. You just want to love. Why does it feel like you’re hiding and scared more than not. Why does it feel like Natasha’s happiness rests upon your ability to be discreet?

And yeah, maybe you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself but also maybe you’re not, because all it takes is one wrong move. One wrong move.

...maybe Plan A is selfish. Plan B is safer...but sometimes she looks at you with this softness on her face that just...makes you feel selfish.

You can’t break up with her. Plan A will work for as long as it has to, because it has to.

———

Plan A fails.

It’s your fault.

You and Peter are sitting on the couch chatting, with half of the Avengers scattered around the room, and Peter says, distraughtly, “I know you haven’t dated someone for a long time but i’d like for you to help me ask out this girl I like.”

Without thinking you quirk an eyebrow at him and say, “who said I wasn’t dating anyone?” and then proceed to completely freeze when your brain catches up to what you’ve said.

Peter tilts his head at you, confused, “you’re dating someone?”

There’s too much anxiety in your forced out, “NO,” and is everyone looking at you? It feels like everyone is looking at you.

Wanda is instantly intrigued, along with the other Avengers, and though you are using every fiber in your being to not look at Natasha you know she’s looking at you too.

Wanda asks, smiling comfortingly, “who are you dating?” Like your no was a yes, and maybe that’s exactly what it sounded to them.

There’s multiple things you could say to respond to her question. Smarter things then what you actually end up saying, but your brain is full of anxiety, and your heart is much too loud, and the only thing you can think of is to protect Natasha anyway you can, so you force out, trying to keep your voice as even as possible;

“A girl I met online.”

There’s immediate quiet. Your eyes are shut tightly because you can’t bring yourself to see their faces, you can’t bring yourself to see Natasha’s face, because holy fuck. You’re scared. You’re so scared. You’re doing this for her, so she knows how they feel, but why does it have to ruin you instead.

“Y/N?” Wanda says, placing an arm on your hand. Your eyes immediately snap open. Hers are apologetic and concerned. “Breathe.”

That’s when you notice your hyperventilating.

You feel arms wrapping around you from behind and you just immediately know who it is. What is she doing? What is Natasha doing? You don’t look at her, you’re afraid your eyes will give away to much, but you hear Natasha whisper in your ear—her voice so even it’s obvious she’s forcing it not to tremble;

“It’s okay, okay? You’re okay. Look at their faces.”

You do. They all look concerned, and a bit confused.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, laughing bitterly. Natasha’s arms tighten around your torso.

(What is she doing? You’re trying to save her.)

They all look at each other, uncertain, and then finally Steve asks gently, “what’s her name?”

It’s the moment the weight falls off your shoulder. (It’s the moment where the turtle realizes that there’s not actually birds around, and that the turtle isn’t actually a turtle. It’s a human, with a family that loves unwaveringly.)

“Her name…” you pause, eyes growing watery, “uh…”

“Her name is Natalia Alianovna Romanova, otherwise known as Natasha Romanoff,” Natasha says, meeting Steve’s gaze directly, and then the rest of the Avengers. Even Peter. She looks defensive, but not of herself, of you. She’s behind you, but it feels like she’s shielding you like you were trying to shield her.

Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to be needed.

Most of the Avengers look shocked, others look unsurprised (Tony hands Wanda some cash). Some of them looked more shocked when you said it was a person you met online.

Well.

“So...are you going to tell me how to ask out the girl I like now?” Peter asks, his voice unsure.

Natasha looks to be about to say something snarky but you squeeze her hand to silence her and grin at him, “sure thing, kid. Sure thing.”

“I’m sixteen.”

———

Later, before you and Natasha head off to bed you make a loud comment in the hallway that causes a couple of loud antagonized groans. “I’m going to sleep with Nat now! Well—not sleep with her, sleep with her, we’re going to be sharing a bed. As couples do...like we’ve secretly been doing but now are doing openly—the sleeping next to each other. The other sleeping together won’t be open. Well, unless—“

Natasha quickly drags you into the room before you manage to finish that train thought.

“The other sleeping together won’t be open,” Natasha grumbles. “So whatever you were planning with that girl you met online...cut it out.”

You smile at her, completely and utterly in love. “Babe, are you jealous of a made up person?”

She rolls her eyes playfully, then, abruptly, her eyes turn soft and she pulls you into a tight hug you weren’t prepared for.

“Oh. This is nice.” You wrap your arms around her too, though you’re confused. “Are you alright?”

Natasha shakes her head. “What you did earlier...don’t ever do that again. Don’t put your heart on the line in effort to protect mine,” Nat says, and she sounds more vulnerable than you meant her to be. “Your heart is my heart. It hurt me to see you looking that alone and scared. You aren’t alone. We’ll face things together.” Then quietly, Natasha says, “you’re my ocean, too. I need you to be okay for me to be okay.”

“Alright.” You promise, pulling away from the hug to cup her cheek and meet her eyes. You don’t want to hurt Natasha. You won’t. She’s already been hurt too much. “But, by the way, it really doesn’t make sense for you to be the ocean to my ocean.”

Natasha lets out an amused breath in response, then relents with; “then your my sun. You make me brighter.”

She looks so adorably proud of her analogy that you can’t help your laughter. “That’s cheesy as fuck.”

It’s perfect. Especially when Natasha snorts and pushes you away with a mocking; “okay, turtle to my ocean. Whatever you say.”

“You wound me, ocean, you wound me.”

“So now i’m a bird attacking a turtle?” Natasha asks, and now she’s just being rude. “Wounding you like they would?”

“I don’t expect a mortal to understand the poetic words of a god.”

Natasha laughs so loudly you’re sure her room neighbors can hear. You don’t have to care about them hearing anymore. “What?” You mumble, flabbergasted, “it is kinda poetic!”

“You wish.”

#marvel x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow x y/n #black widow x you #fem reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #nat x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #marvel x female reader #marvel x you #marvel #imagine #marvel imagine #natasha imagine #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow imagine

[fandomscombine]

Heartbreak Woman [Cho/Cedric Ending]

Warning: Angst! Brokenhearted!Reader

WC:1454

I proposed 3 varying endings and the response was across the board so I decided why the heck not write ALL 3 choices!

a/n: I haven't been active on tumblr this past month. Motivation to read & write wasn't really there. Feelin pretty crap. I don't think it's my best work- I actually wrote this ending last month but delay posting it since I promised to post all 3 endings back to back- but with the recent burnout, my progress is slow. Proofread it and push the insecurities & anxieties away and here we are. Love was put into this, I hope you enjoy it! Don't worry, the other 2 endings are on the way.

I tried posting this 9 times now and it keeps saying error. this is me testing it with mobile so formatting is hard but I hope it posts

BG: You were hoping that your best friend, Cedric to ask you to the Yule Ball. Instead you were roped into helping him ask Cho out. It broke your heart, but at least this way while helping him out you could pretend that he was doing all the sweet things to you. On the other side of the picture, Harry was too heartbroken upon learning that Cho is going out with Cedric.

Read the main story before it diverges ending here!

>>>Heartbreak Woman [Main]

>>>MASTERLIST<<<

 

Did Harry Potter really just ask you out and you said yes?

Touching your forehead, it wasn’t bleeding anymore but there is still a slight sting to it from the collision with Harry’s broom. Yes. That definitely happened. You thought to yourself, this isn’t some delusion from the injury.

 This is good. This is good. Hyping yourself up. You enjoy his company and that should be enough to stop your thoughts from going about a certain Hufflepuff boy. The same boy you had abruptly left alone in the greens. It’s not his fault nor it is Cho’s for wanting to date each other. You have nothing against them, they are both such lovely and kind people and not to mention popular- it was only a matter of time that they got together, Hogwarts’ Power Couple.

No, it’s just you and your stupid feelings falling for your best friend and agreeing to help with the courtship.

‘Y/n? Hii.” The voice reels you back to reality.

You blinked. “Cho! Hi!” Greeting her loudly had been taken by surprise. You dial down your volume. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s actually what you did, really… I just wanted to say thank you.”

You were confused, why was she thanking you?

“For helping Cedric I mean” She clarified. “He mentioned that you helped him with the picnic idea. It was very sweet. It was what made me finally say yes.”

“That’s awesome.” You force yourself to smile. “I’m glad you guys are together, I can finally get that git to stop bothering me with date ideas. That’s 3 weeks of my life I’m not getting back!” There was some truth to that statement, now that she and Cedric are together you don’t have to go through the pain of practice dates with Cedric.

“You y/n are the absolute wingwoman! Legend material!” Cho praised. “You're like my fairy godmother!” She continues, wrapping you into an embrace.

“yayyyy….That’s me…” You mumble into her luscious hair. Grateful that Cho couldn’t see your face.  Pulling apart, you don’t let her go quite yet. With hands on her shoulder, you stare unwavering. “Just don’t break his heart yea? He’s really smitten by you, promise you won’t hurt him.”

Cho is taken aback a bit, your words clearly coming from a strong emotional bond with the boy.  Thoughts of love, Eros, passed through her mind but brushed it away - It can’t be y/n help them get together. Y/n’s words must come from Philia love, y/n and Cedric had been best friends since before they could talk! Everyone knows that. They have a soul connection that can’t be replicated.  “I promise.”

~

14th February.

Valentine’s Day.

This holiday sucks.

No, not for the reason that you’re single. Nah.

Today is a downer as you won’t be able to do your annual tradition.

See every since 3rd year you and Cedric would be in a pink ensemble outfit complete with red heart sunglasses. Spreading chants of self love and showering fellow single students and professors with compliments. This all started out when your roommates teased you for not having a date for Valentine’s day.  When Cedric had heard about it, he went all out. The boy basically made sure that every single person knew how wonderful, beautiful and intelligent you are.

It was this day onwards that 2 things happened.

Complementing and advocating for self love, Philautia, in a pink get up became an annual Valentine’s tradition. (Even a couple of students joined the cause, expanding from you just both into an association/group of sorts.)

 You started to see Cedric in a new light. In other words, you were falling in love with your best friend.

Scanning the Great Hall for pink cladded pupils, you were glad that the group had saved you a seat however a certain Hufflepuff was out of sight. Taking a deep breath, you cleared your head. Get it together y/n. Today is about sharing love and do NOT think about Cedric and Cho going on a romantic date in Hogsmeade.

You were about to take a step forward when-

“Argh!” Shutting your eyes as the hall spun around.

“Relaxx!! Relax! It’s just me.”

Feet back on solid ground, you turned towards the perpetrator, the one boy you did not want to see right now. “What the fuck Ced! Don’t scare me like that!”

“I’m sorry…” Cedric raises his arms in surrender. “Is everything alright?”

“Yea everything’s fine.”

Cedric raises a brow. You forget that this boy can see through your bullshit.

“Only had a couple hours of sleep, that’s all.” It wasn’t a lie, in fact you’d only gotten 3 hours of rest last night, it was just the case of omitting that his upcoming date with Cho was the reason for your restlessness. You don’t want to blame it on jealousy, but it is.

Grabbing hold of your hand, he pulls you towards the group. "Alright then, I've got some spare sleeping potion if you need."

You wave to your fellow singles as you sit down."uh..thanks Ced." You couldn't stop vocalizing your confusion as to why Cedric is still right next to you. Normally you wouldn't complain, but today was Valentine's Day.

"Ouch y/n!" Cedric sassed, eyes focused on piling food onto his plate." Just because I have a girlfriend now doesn't mean I would disappear on my best girl."

My best girl. It hurts to be called that in another context than you wanted.

"Don't you have a date with Cho today?"

"Yea but Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop  doesn't open until 11am. Which gives me time for our annual Valentine's tradition!"

"But you're taken."

"Yes….but I could still help spreading the love!" Cedric glanced around. "No one minds that I come to join you right?"

A murmur of Nos filled your eyes.

"Haha! See I told you!" Cedric brags, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Looks at you straight in the eyes, those gorgeous grey irises melting away your defenses."You can't get rid of me that easily." He whispers, loud enough only for you to hear. You could feel the heat filling up your face due to his closeness. Too busy lost in the rapid beats of your heart, you failed to notice his face getting even closer.

A softness like cotton grazes your cheek.

Cedric kissed you!

Your mind is close to being short circuited. The area of where Cedric's lips were a nanosecond ago is cold as ice. The cold contrasted with your now burning hot, blushing face.

You could live in this forever. All external environments quiet, blocked out of focus. Cedric's arms around you while the butterflies in your stomach bursts out, occupying your whole body with sheer giddiness from having his lips on you.

But the daydream breaks.

"Hey Love! You ready?"

"Morning!" He greets, kissing her. "Uh…" It's only 9:34am. You nod, silently telling him that it was okay to miss your annual tradition. You weren't expecting any quality time today, yet he managed even if it was just for breakfast. "Yea.. give me 10 minutes to go change and I'll pick you up at the courtyard?"

"Sounds great. Be quick cause I miss you already!"

"Sure will sweetheart." He pecks her lips again then waves goodbye to the table and he's off, running.

The tension changes once Cedric is gone.

"Can I talk to you outside y/n?"

"uh yeah" Once outside. "What's up?" Trying to sound casual. Cho inviting you to speak privately isn't usual-seeing that you were the couple's go to accomplice for surprises.

"I see the way you look at him."

"I'm sorry?"

"I know.you like him. y/n. I know you like Cedric."

"Cho.. you can't be serious, he's my best friend!"

"I wasn't sure then.but just now..the way you act around him. the way you look at him. y/n is undeniable. It’s  so obvious-I had assumptions then but everyone just brushes it off as your childhood friend with each other. heck even both of you say that."

"Cho…."

"I didn't bring this up before because I felt insecure, jealous even that I can't live up to the standard of relationship you and Cedric have.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. There were too many revelations bombarding you all at once, that you are having trouble processing what is going on.

“But I am tired of what ifs and worrying.” Voice quivering, she continues. “You've got to tell him, y/n."

The words snap you back into place.

"Cho… I can't. I can't ruin your relationship."

If you love someone and they love someone else, you let them go.

~

Everything Taglist :@gruffle1

HP Taglist:@onlyfreds

Heartbreak woman Tagist:

@joalinbenefits @the-natureofme @romanoffs-heart @justmesadgirl @plumso @gleefulleve @wolf-phoenix-lover @ceofcedric @savvy7392 @cedricsfluffyhair @thewayilookatbacon @LIONLIKEWOLFLIKE @mellifluous-cosmos

#cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory angst #cedric diggory fluff #cho chang #harry potter x reader #cedric diggory imagines #cedric x cho #cedric diggory x cho chang #fandomscombine writes

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

Blank Space

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 2

"There once was a girl known by everyone and no one"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 4,864

Warnings: medium level angst I guess, and language as always.

A/N: writing this was challenging and I complained about this for like half of my mutuals lol. However, I did find the perfect song to mix with the title track obv and it was perfect to show their past. You will learn more about their past in future chapters.

A/N: thanks to @chrissquares for making me beautiful dividers especially for this series and @nacho-bucky for beta reading it all! A reminder to check out the song before reading/during!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

song on Spotify and YouTube

 "You know him? Y/N, why didn't you tell us?" Steve scolded you as you sat in one of the rooms, in front of him, Natasha, Thor, and Tony. This felt more like an interrogation than a talk.

"Is this an interrogation?" you looked him dead in the eyes, you saw him falter.

"It doesn't have to be if you don't lie to us again."

"I never lied to you."

"You held back information." Natasha said then.

"Fine, yes I know him, I knew him." You sighed, remembering the night you met him, before everything went wrong.

You were walking through the park in the night, was it dangerous? Of course, but you needed to clear your head. That was when you saw him, sitting on a bench in the rain. He was different, you knew that the minute you noticed him- it wasn't even the weird attire he wore, but rather the feeling that came along with him, you didn't feel threatened and you have mace in your bag, so you approached him.

"You will get a cold if you keep sitting in the rain, don't you have an umbrella?" he looked at you and you got shivers from his blue eyes.

"No, I will be fine. Thank you my lady for your concern." God was his voice enchanting. Curiousity got the better of you then.

"You saw him on earth and you didn't say anything? He is not allowed to be here." Tony said, his fingers fidgeting with his cuffs.

"I knew him long before the invasion happened, it wasn't near the time when I became an avenger, or on shield's radar at all." You tried to explain yourself to them. You never lied to then, you never thought you'd see him again especially in the tower. "Look it is all in the past, there is no reason to talk about it."

"You were mad when you saw him, why was that?" Natasha glanced at you, you knew she would read you if you lied.

"Well, I knew him for a while. But he is the god of lies, I don't like being lied to. So that says it all." You shrugged it off.

"So you won't tell me where you're from?"

"I told you, I'm from England."

"No you're not, you're a pretty lousy liar you know?" you smirked at his taken aback look.

"I think you'd be surprised."

"Nope, I can already tell- you're a bad liar. Or you might be good, but I'm better." He gave you a curious look as the rain kept falling around you, the umbrella you were both sitting under protected you.

"He never mentioned you, or going to earth at all. When was this?" Thor asked you.

"Around 2009" it was so long ago, you now realized, but it still felt close to you.

"You should take my umbrella." You suggested to the man but he just laughed as you sat beside him. "What? You said that you need to go, and I live closer than you, I'll be just fine without it, the thunder doesn't scare me."

"I am not quite fond of it actually. But you should get home, it is getting late." He smiled at you and you got up.

"Let's make a trade then, you will take my umbrella" the two of you stood now. "And you will give me your name."

He eventually took the umbrella with a smile, his fingers were cold when they lightly brushed yours, and you went your separate ways.

"You have no reason not to trust me, I never saw him again after 2011!" you just wanted them to understand that it is all behind you.

"I never said I don't trust you, but kid why would you hide this from us?" Steve asked you, you were pretty close, he was kind of like a protective older brother to you- ironic since he is pretty reckless and Bucky is saner than him, but he cared about you.

"It isn't important Steve, he is a liar that isn't new to any of us. It's nothing personal or important anymore."

"Kid it seems pretty personal-" Tony started to say.

"Well it's not!"

"Okay fine, but just know that he will be here for a while until we figure out and deal with this hydra shit. Then after that Point Break over here will take him away." Tony was sincere now, you could see the worry in his eyes, you knew he was affected by the invasion the most. "So take my advice, and make sure that it really isn't personal."

You nodded to him.

"You are however more than welcome to throw him in a little nightmare, I'll pay you." He smiled and you chuckled.

"What are you saying Stark? My lady," oh you haven't heard that in a while. Fuck. "Do not give my brother nightmares, however you plan on doing that." He looked you up and down, and it was as if you could read him like an open book, you didn't have to use any of your powers because you already knew exactly what he thought in his head.

"I'll stay away from him. Just make sure he does the same."

You looked innocent, not harmful, the kind of girl you would offer help to with even the smallest stuff- a good girl. That's what they all saw before getting to know you, and maybe that was you before you got these dark powers, you knew you missed the old you but you could barely remember her.

•

 "Are you certain that's what they said?" Natasha asked you from the kitchen table as you made her pancakes.

"I know, it sounds weird but it's Asgardian, they have weird names. Plus I doubt they were lying, they were sleep deprived and I can assure you they have been through a lot of stuff before I started to actually talk to them. Ready?" you looked back at her and she nodded.

You threw the pancake back and by the small 'yay' Natasha let out, you didn't have to turn back to know she caught it with her plate.

"Well, I think I'll go and make them write it down because I am certain we are pronouncing it incorrectly."

"Well I tried! Their accent didn't help at all!" you defended yourself.

"You're still pronouncing it wrongly." You froze, turning around to look at Loki and Thor who walked towards the kitchen. "One would think it was made up by how horribly you ruined the word. How would you know they were truthful after all? What could you have possibly done?"

You held his gaze before deciding to not retort back, you ignored that curious familiar look. He has some nerve to talk. You sat in front of Natasha with your own batch of pancakes, the room was quiet before Thor chimed in to break the tension.

"Are those the cakes from the pan? Oh they are tasty! Would you mind making me and my brother some, Lady Y/N?" Thor was actually nice, how could you say no?

"Of course!" you got up with a smile. "Oh, but I'm afraid there isn't enough batter for the two of you I'm afraid."

You let a small frown take over your face, and you saw Natasha's small smile when you turned to make Thor some pancakes.

"You are a bad liar." Loki pointed out and you didn't have to think.

"I fooled you." Soon enough you turned around to give Thor his pancakes with a smile, pouring the rest of the batter in the sink before sitting down to eat. "Oh and Thor, this is the second warning about what we discussed yesterday, I won't hesitate."

"Very well, however you never did tell me what-"

"It's not important." Thor glared at his brother.

"Brother please be more civil, it's for your benefit." You felt Loki's gaze on you as you ate.

"Do tell me brother, how is it for my benefit?" Loki chuckled.

"Well, you have wronged a lot of people here, and so lady Y/N agreed to not harm you if you stay away. We are here to help my friends!" Thor's booming voice alongside his hopeful smile contrasted his brother's.

You should have known he would test it.

"Oh, and how can she harm me now?" the minute Loki uttered these words you glanced at him for a moment, and the next thing he knew, his heart beat loudly as he fell down from the portal in New York, terrified when he saw the Chitauri around him, one monster opened its mouth and Loki was a moment from dying in its clutches when he heard Thor's voice.

"Enough!" Thor said sternly and Loki was back in the kitchen, disoriented as he took in his surroundings. You only nodded at Thor before you kept eating. Loki disappeared a moment later with a green shimmer.

"I don't like using my powers Thor, but if you care for your brother keep him civil." You said, sorry that Thor had to get offended by it too.

"I understand, but he is here to help right now, mere comments are the least harmful things he could do, there is no need to take it to heart." He put a hand on your shoulder and it was warm enough to get you to agree with him. Stopping hydra should be your top priority.

•

 "I hate it when he does that." Tony groaned at the marking on the ground just outside of the compound.

Thor and Loki were now back at the palace gates, they heard a call, and Loki turned to see Iyllir walking up to him. She smiled at him and he smiled back, grateful for the lack of observant eyes to tell his fake smiles apart from the real ones.

"Prince Loki, what took you so long? You missed our picnic." The lady put her arm through his and he heard his brother snicker.

"How unfortunate. My brother and I still have very urgent business to tend to. I must go to a court meeting now." Loki gently tugged his hand out of hers.

"I thought you said this won't take long?" she frowned at him. She certainly was beautiful, with red hair and grey eyes, always majestic like a lady, and yet he couldn't follow both of their families' wishes.

"Well I am afraid things have changed, I won't stay here for long this visit." With that he went and followed his brother towards the big doors that opened for them and he saw Odin there alongside trusted advisers and of course- the warriors three. And then the meeting began.

Loki sat in his chair, bored as they talked about the mortals.

"Father, I can assure you that as of now there is no need in sending Asgardian forces there. My friends are handling it well now." Thor explained to his father and Loki couldn't help but get distracted.

"Let me help you, Y/N" he asked you, chuckling and biting his lip when you glared at him.

"I can handle it Loki!" you said as you tried to handle the pile of books in your hands so you could get the key for your apartment. He was thankful that you couldn't see his face now as he watched you struggle to balance the books on your thigh.

You let out a small shriek as the books fell out and were about to hit the floor when they just stopped midair, and you looked at Loki only to see him leaning on the wall, arms crossed with a smug smile on his face.

"I bet you liked my help now." You groaned.

"Yes thank you and your stupid magic Loki." You leaned down to pick up the books and stack them again after opening your door.

"If I remember correctly you were, oh what's the word- petrified when you first saw my magic"

"That is a big exaggeration! I was just a bit… startled maybe." You walked into the apartment and he closed the door behind you when you suddenly stopped, turning to him with an annoyed shocked expression, your mouth agape and your eyes wide and not amused. "You knocked my books down!"

You were met with a mischievous grin.

"You hurt my feelings darling, do you have any proof?" you huffed out a breath.

"You are insufferable!"

"You seem to manage so far."

"From what I gathered so far, the group called Hydra there seemed to have a hold of some old weapons of ours, nothing too big yet but we are looking into it to find out if there is more stuff we don't know about."

"And do you really think the mortals can handle this?" Odin asked the brothers.

"Yes father, they are very powerful." Loki couldn't help but agree with Thor, they really did manage to surprise him this time. He never expected her.

•

 "What is this A children's playground? Stop pulling your punches and fight me." You grunted as you tried hitting Bucky again, you've been too distracted lately, your training didn't go too well and you ended up on the mat more often than not. At this point you considered just using your powers to make it seem like you're winning but now you were fighting Bucky, and from the day you met him you swore to yourself that you will never use your powers on him. He doesn't need anyone messing with his mind again.

So long story short you were getting your ass handed to you.

"I'm not a supersoldier may I remind you, so I'm sorry if I am a little tired! Bucky come on let's take a break." You ducked another punch.

"Maybe your mind just isn't with us right now." Natasha helpfully provided as she sat on the side with a smoothie.

"Fuck off."

"No, really, what is your deal with Loki?" at his mention you delivered a kick to Bucky that made him fall on the mattress with a thud.

"Nothing. Is this good enough for you now Bucky?" you reached out a hand to help him up.

"Now that we got you riled up about him, yes- let's go again." He laughed at the glare you gave him. Your jaw clenched as the two of you got into position.

"Bring it on, Barnes." He went in with his left arm now.

"I will, how did you know him? It certainly looks pretty personal and in-" you turned him around and pinned him to the ground.

"Shut up, just fight me." You heard Natasha laugh beside you and in that moment Bucky took advantage and got you on the ground instead. And you went back.

"What the fuck!" you screamed when you saw the figure in your room, Loki stood there, his face scrunched up.

"Sorry, my love."

"We talked about this Loki, you can't just teleport here- especially when I am sleeping!" you sighed when you saw his regretful face. "Don't stand there like a creep, come here I missed you."

He smiled and you closed your eyes, you still saw the green light that lit up the room when he changed his clothes and got under the covers with you. His hand was cold, making your skin prickle but it was worth it when he pulled you to him and the warmth spread between the two of you.

You fell asleep content with a smile on your face at the kisses he laid on your neck.

"Y/N?"

"What?" you looked up at Bucky who sat back on his heels, his brow was raised.

"You kind of spaced out, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm- I'm fine. I probably should go though." you got up. "Bruce probably needs help in the lab."

•

 "You did not tell father about lady Y/N." Thor stated the obvious.

"Don't call her that. Why would I do that? She is of no import." Loki walked towards his chambers, but alas Thor decided to escort him there with preying questions.

"How did none of us know that you spent time in Midgard?" Thor stopped Loki with a hand on his shoulder.

"That was a long time ago brother."

"And yet it seems that you have quite a history, what happened between the two of you? Were the two of you…?" Thor trailed off and Loki groaned.

"Don't insinuate that, there wasn’t anything. We knew each other for a while and then we didn't. Now, if you will excuse me, I'll go to my room. Alone."

Loki shut the door behind him, in his mind he still saw you and your eyes and then the flashes of the battle of New York. The day was tiring; he decided to get some much needed rest, to get you out of his mind.

The day was exhausting; he had to stay back in Asgard. He couldn't put up illusions all the time, it was taking a toll on him, but it was worth it in his eyes.

The palace was now quiet as everybody went to sleep. Loki wanted to rest too, so he snuck out towards the bifrost. Heimdall had already seen him coming, and was ready to open the way.

"Are you going to keep going to her every night, my prince?" Heimdall asked him and Loki let out a smile.

"Yes. Thank you, truly for keeping this a secret for so long." Heimdall only nodded at him.

"If you are going to keep sneaking out to see her, someone will end up seeing you sometime." Heimdall stepped down and came to Loki. "I think I should show you another way to pass through the realms, I think you are mad enough in love for it to work for you."

When Heimdall showed him the way, he thanked him sincerely, it looked impossible at first but soon enough he was there in your room. You already fell asleep. He watched your figure as you rested, your state of calmness washed over him, and then you suddenly screamed at him, maybe he should have tried to wake you sooner, it didn't exactly matter to him much when just a few moments later he was curled up in the warmest bed he'd ever known.

•

 "So you see, this part here it seems to be controlled by the holder of the gun, that must be the Asgardian tech combined with our own." Bruce told you as you gently examined the weapon.

"Damn, how long do you think they had that then? Like, just the time that it took them to develop it…" you thought. There were probably much worse things out there at their hands.

"I'd say at least a couple of months. It's a shame about those scientists." He hesitated to say that and you knew why.

"I didn't know they had that, no one checked their teeth. I was doing my job. It's okay, you can talk about it." You shrugged it off. With a power like yours, you have to get used to using it, you must fit yourself to it… because it certainly won't happen the other way around. But you were fine. You were different now.

Right?

"Well, next time we will check their teeth, to make sure this won't repeat itself. But at least we got some information before that's good right?" you nodded to Bruce and took out the bullets from one of the guns. There was something red, or was it orange, inside it. You examined it closer, moving towards the microscope to try to see for yourself before you ask Bruce about it.

Curiousity killed the cat.

Before you could reach the table, there was a warm sensation in your hand where you held it and then all you knew was that your hand hurt and you hit the floor, the bullet exploding with whatever was in it. Maybe you should've worn gloves.

Oh well, satisfaction resurrected it.

"Bruce, did you see that?"

"Yes Y/N, are you okay?"

"My head hurts but I'm fine, did you know those bullets do that?" you got up a little too fast for Bruce and your head's liking, but you went to the table nevertheless.

"No, they were fine before, you shouldn't have touched them," he fussed around.

"But I saw something-"

"You need to ice your head, tell me or Cho if you feel anything weird. This isn't something we know about Y/N." he handed you an ice pack for your head and told you to sit down, to which you grumbled but obeyed.

"Ah, Y/N, F.R.I.D.A.Y has been telling me that you've been trying to blow up the lab." Tony laughed at you as he entered.

"No, I would never try to steal your job." You shot back and he winked.

"Okay Elsa, I thought you'd like to know that we managed to make sense of some of the files we found in the warehouse and it looks like they have been making trades and dividing what they found."

"What do you mean?" Bruce asked him.

"That place we found was only dedicated to create a couple of things, but they have more out there, dedicated to building who knows what." Tony groaned, "We will need to divide and conquer this, we can't waste time and there is no way I am letting those Asgardian warriors come here. Don't blow things up kiddo!" you nodded to him, things were getting worse by the minute. You pressed your hand holding the ice pack harder against the back of your head. You were not looking forward to tomorrow, so you kept Bruce company until you were too tired to push it any longer. You went to bed and magically managed to convince Bruce to go to sleep.

•

 You woke up groaning, you apparently forgot to close the blinds the night before. Going back to sleep will only cause you to oversleep, which will cause Steve to activate the stupid alarm protocol Tony built for him after you annoyed him.

You did not want to wake up to old Captain America songs blasting your ears off.

So you got up and after a short breakfast you reluctantly got on with your duties and important paperwork.

"Miss Y/L/N, you called me? I'm Mike, you asked for an analysis check on some data?" you turned to him then from looking at the board in the small conference room.

"Yes! Hi Mike, thank you. We have some encryptions that probably lead to very specific locations, check radars of isolated places or you know what- scratch that, they could be under our nose in the middle of a city." You looked at him apologetically. "Sorry, I can't narrow it down but we do need those answers as soon as possible. Okay?"

The poor guy looked horrified, his brown eyes were wide and you let out a small sorry when you handed him the big file.

"Yeah, of course Y/N, I will get right to it." With that you were alone in the room once again, going over the information you managed to get from the now dead scientists. This is going to be a long day. You saw it coming and that didn't help at all.

•

"Oh fuck." You cursed when the cold water from the sink touched your palm, it wasn't badly burned but it still hurt you.

You closed the door to your bathroom and turned around to see him standing in your room. Your eyes locked with blue ones, they certainly were familiar even after all this time, but while you could see the hesitation and the other swirling emotions in his eyes you couldn't tell anymore if you could trust what you thought you knew.

"When?" you felt your blood boil, but you knew you couldn't avoid him forever.

"Sometime after-" you hesitated with your words, walking towards your cabinet to put away the first aid kit you had. "After." You settled with that.

"What are you doing here Y/N?" Loki heard his own heartbeats, seeing you here… After all this time and he never forgot you. How could he?

"I'm an avenger now Loki," his name felt bitter on your tongue and you had to swallow to continue. "A lot has changed you know, you don't need to ask all these questions. There is no point to them."

"Oh but there is," at his angry tone you turned around. It was years of bottling the fight that you never had, he never let you have it. "You never wanted this life Y/N! What are you doing fighting out there with heroes or whatever they like to call themselves?"

"They are heroes, they help people. You however seemed to do the opposite from what I remember seeing on the TV." You laughed and shook your head. "I was still there you know, I was right in that same apartment where you left me. And there I saw you on the TV and I didn't even recognize it was you."

"Did you get hurt?" the question startled you.

"No, but it doesn't matter Loki! I am fighting alongside heroes now, I changed since the last time I saw you, this is my place now!"

"Oh darling you can pretend all you want in front of them, but I still know you." He matched your stare now. "This is not your life."

"Well yes it is!" you shook your head when he got closer now, every emotion you never got to express came back to the surface. "Why are you here? Huh? You're the one who left in the first place!"

"I've come here to help-" you stomped up to him.

"You know damn well that is not what I asked." You hated how your voice wavered.

"I did come here to help with the weapons," he continued before you could try to intervene. "And I didn't expect to see you again. But you're here now, and so am I."

"Damnit Loki, we have been through so much together, we weren't dating for only a month or two. A year. We were dating for more than a year and that is a lot." The tears were brimming now when you remembered your theory, that one little theory that ate your heart out, this one theory you found only a few days after. "Or at least here it is. Maybe in Asgard with all the almost-immortal gods a year is insignificant to you- that sure explains it all."

"No, it's not!" he dismissed it immediately and you felt your defenses shattering when he walked towards you. "I know there's pain inside of you, which was caused by me. But I am here now and I can't deny that I can still feel what I felt all those years ago. Just hear me out, we can call it even, just for a little while."

The last time you played this game it left you with a nasty scar. The more that he said, the less you knew what to think anymore.

So you didn't.

You hated the calmness that took over you the moment his lips touched yours, tongue sliding over the other, it left you breathless. You knew it was still love for you, but it was torture, you knew the high will not be worth the pain but he felt too good, too familiar that it made you question that. You didn't know how long has passed, all you knew was Loki, you still fit perfectly with his body which was pressed against you. Time flew by and you didn't know how you got here.

One moment his lips were on yours, the next you were pressed into the mattress, his figure pressing on yours. Maybe this could be good for the weekend… the next moment your legs somehow were wrapped around him and pulled him more into you. His lips trailed down to your throat, making breathy moans come out of your mouth. Your eyes opened and were focused on one spot on the ceiling, when you managed to break out of this delusional pleasure time flew by.

"No Loki, stop." You pushed him off of you. You sat up, curling your legs.

"What? Darling-" he tried reaching out for your thigh but you shook your head.

"You should go, Loki." You didn't look at him. Your hand covered your mouth as you sank into thought.

"Go? Why would I go? I know you feel exactly like I do." You couldn't deny it. You both knew that.

"You left me before Loki, what is the problem with leaving me now?" While you couldn't see him now, you had to get him out of here, so you could think clearly. This was too reckless. "It doesn't matter, this was just a relapse."

He left you there, and once the door shut you broke down, hating yourself for drowning into him again. You knew you were the one breaking your own heart when he took his warmth from the now cold bed. But it is better that you'll break it before he ever gets the chance to do it again.

Tags: @ayybtch  @buckys-other-punk  @chaoticpete   @madcrazy50   @mishkatelwarriorgoddess

#blank space #my writing #1989 #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki odinson x reader #angst #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki angst #loki fluff #loki odinson #loki

[slvtbible]

G O L D

chapter one

summary: [y/n is a young stripper who is adored by many men. harry styles is a man who loves to carry danger with him]

word count: 4222

pairing: stripper!y/n and gangleader!harry

warnings: violence, vulgar language, sexual acts, alcohol and drug

to be honest, i was a little hesitant to post it here and i don’t know if this story will blow up on tumblr or get many notes but that’s the last thing on my mind right now. i just want to share what i’ve been working on that kept you guys waiting for almost a year lol sorry about that. But yes, she’s finally here!! I posted first on wattpad before i put it here, I felt like the only way to reach out more people to read it it’s through that. And also, i decided to use a name on wattpad but I’d use the term ‘y/n’ on tumblr. Enjoy it all my loves! Give me feedbacks!💜

*

*

Harry fixes the collar of his sheer black shirt before tucking it neatly inside the black trousers he's currently wearing. He normally goes something more extravagant for going out. His closet is filled with colourful ruffles and Hawaiian shirts along with 'more than one colour' suits. However tonight, he needs to lay low for a bit. Especially when he's about to step into one of the most famous strip clubs in New York in an hour to meet up with the manager.

He's very much aware of the reputation he has put on himself out there. Though there's no use of camouflage and hiding, he still doesn't want a cause a scene,

Yet.

His hand lifts a bottle of Tom Ford from the dresser before spraying it twice on his neck. Stepping away from the full length mirror, he grabs his cross necklace from the bed before putting the accessory around his neck as he walks out of the room.

"Talk to me Reece" his heavy accent echoes the hallway as he walks downstairs, watching his few men pocketing their weapons,

Reece, the brown skinned man with tattoos nods. "He's there. Just got a word from Bianco. He appears isn't expecting you, Boss. However I do believe he knows you're coming soon. The club is far too crowded than usual but Bianco is taking care of that right now." He informs, showing him the message on the phone,

Harry can only scoff, nodding at him as a thank you. "That son of a bitch should've. Owes me more than fucking money." He mutters, inserting the .45 ACP inside his gun holster. "The car's ready?"

Nodding, Reece leads Harry down towards the basement. "As requested. Lamborghini Murcielago in blue hera. Pack with 640 PS and 471 kW, rules around 213 mph if you consider on hit and run. Still, I pack a standard Aeropack wing if you wanna go slow tonight. The windows? Bulletproof. In case anyone tries to kill you." Harry knows he's only joking about the last part. No one dares try to kill him before he does it. It's a pattern that everyone knows by now.

Harry lets out a low whistle, softly shaking his head as the machine beauty appears. Tracing lightly with his ring cladded fingers along the hood of the car. "Not planning to hit and run tonight, Reece. Not even thinking about racing down the street with my weapon outside the window. You don't have anything more. . . Less attractive?" He questions, still staring at the gorgeous car ahead of him,

"You know I don't do less, boss." Reece winks playfully, laughing to himself as he watches Harry roll his eyes. "Besides. Who knows you'll get yourself a bird tonight, eh? Take her out on a stroll before bringing her home to your place. Women love fast cars." He comments, pressing the button on the keys as the door opens,

Humming as a response, Harry walks towards the driver's seat, "I don't date anymore, thought my right hand man knew tha' " He speaks, words laced with seriousness while grabbing the keys from Reece's fingers,

He can only sigh and nod his head. "Understood. Yet, Kendra is like what? Two years ago? Gotta get yourself something better, boss. You deserve it. So do it tonight." He suggests, watching him going inside the car before shutting the door,

Harry smiles a bit, inserting the keys inside the ignition before starting the car. "Noted."

The dark haired man steps away from the car. Giving Harry a salute. "I'll be right behind you. See you there."

*

*

*

Y/N Y/L/N stands in front of the mirror as she applies another layer of red lipstick on her plump lips. Securing the tube back as she puckers her mouth to see if it fits the colour for tonight. She twirls, watching carefully how the gold lingerie clads perfectly around her breasts and down to her curvy hips and thick thighs.

She stops once her plump ass is facing the mirror, admiring how beautiful and big her bum is in the lingerie. It's a compliment really. She loves working out to give her bum a bit bigger. It's not that she hopes she'll gain attention from people, she just loves her body. She worships every piece of it despite what other people think of it. Insecurity was her biggest enemy but not anymore. After reading lots of books and poems about self love she learns that there's nothing she should be ashamed of.

Grabbing a bottle of lotion from her table, she squeezes the bottle into her hand before rubbing her bum with the cold cream, rubbing it neatly to make sure she doesn't miss a spot.

Another thing, she loves moisturizing her plump flesh before the show. It's sexy

"Joe is asking for you." She hears a voice coming from behind, craning her neck to see her closest co-worker Violet, already in her usual purple wig and attire as she stands beside Angelina. "I love working as a stripper but he really needs to learn to be patient and. . . shut up, i guess?"

Y/N releases a small laugh, moving her long dark wavy hair to rest on her chest. "I know, I know. Jesus, I've told him fifteen minutes prior that I'll take longer than usual." She slips on her gold heels and turns to face Violet, who's biting her lip as she stares at Angelina's body up and down. "Okay, how do i look?"

Violet raises her eyebrow, as if it's something her friend shouldn't be asking. "You kidding? You look like a sex goddess. Gonna get all the men on their knees for you, girl"

Scoffing, she shoots her a wink and a flirtatious smile. "Old men with beer bellies? No thanks. I'd rather make out with Gordon." She replies, seemingly disgusted about the thought of grinding on an old man's lap tonight.

"Is that a bet I hear?" Violet questions, leaning towards her a bit as she waits for her friend’s response. "Please tell me that it is so I can earn extra cash tonight."

Gordon is a perverted bartender that always keeps his eye on Y/N throughout her routine. He's 40 and is always asking Angelina on a 'date' and by date, he means her ass on his lap. Clearly something Y/N isn't too fond of. Him specifically. Violet and Y/N have always made a joke about him, something they could make a playful banter in every chance they get.

Plus, she heard he's married. Isn't he supposed to find another job rather than here? If his wife found out what kind of a sleaze bag she married, she would be crushed,

Rolling her eyes, Y/N shoves her playfully by the arm. "Ha ha, very funny" she answers, resuming to untangle her hair from knots.

Violet laughs, pinching her on the hip as she lets outa small squeal. "Just messing with you, baby. Good luck out there. Put the rest of us to shame tonight. . . Like any other night"

Y/N flips her off, yet knowing it's the truth. She's not trying to sound like a condescending bitch here but none of the girls here are actually capable to do what Y/N does. That's what makes men attracted to her. She knows what she's doing. She knows how to make a man hard.

"By the way, you heard what Joe's talking about earlier?" Violet asks, toeing off her heels as she exhales a relief sigh. "Damn those heels are killing me" She mumbles,

"No... What's about?" She turns her head to face Violet for her to explain, causing her to shrug her shoulders,

"Don't know much about it. . . But i hear Harry Styles is coming here to meet up with him. Something about transaction or shit" She waves it off, whispering it to Y/N, looking around to make sure no one is eavesdropping,

She almost chokes on her saliva after hearing Violet says the name. "Harry Styles?! The. . . mafia boss of New York..?" Her eyes widen at the possibility of the most dangerous man in the city paying a visit to the place she works at,

Nodding, Violet answers, "Yup. That Harry Styles. He's the devil. Let's hope this place doesn't turn into a war zone."

Y/N has heard about this Harry guy. The most feared man of New York. She does know a little bit of the relations between Joe and Mr. Styles. Almost every night she could hear Joe freaking out about this man. She may not know him that close, hell she had never even met him in person but people talk. One thing she learned about hearing his reputation, you don't ever want to mess with this guy.

Violet snaps her fingers to snap Y/N out of her thoughts. "Less worrying, girl. Come on, you got a show to put on yes?"

"Y-yeah. Fuck. . . now i'm scared" She breathes out, looking at her reflection in the mirror one last time. Calming down her mind.

After giving Violet a kiss on a cheek and receiving a tap on her ass, she takes a deep breath as she opens the beaded curtain and walk out to the club. Jhene Aiko is playing through the speakers, thanks to her who chose the music for tonight. She can already feel all eyes on her as she struts down confidently, putting on a smirk and winking at couple of men here and there. As much as it disgusts her, she grazes her hand along a man's arm who's biting his lip and looking at her up and down.

'What the fuck did i do to deserve this?' she thinks to herself, staring at the man in front of her who's probably the same age as her father. The thought of it makes her gag,

She gives the man a wink before getting up on the stage, hearing a few hollers from behind. reaching out to wrap her hand around the silver pole and her leg hooking up to support her body. Slowly twirling with her head thrown back and closes her eyes with money being toss at her direction before letting go and crutching down on her knees, moving close towards the same man earlier. He slips in a couple of hundred dollar bills inside her panties, causing the others to do the same.

This may be not how she pictures her success but damn, by the end of the week, her bank account can go from three to six digits.

She's definitely gonna hold on to that,

*

*

*

It takes Harry close to thirty minutes to get here. He blames it all on the traffic, cursing to himself every time he stops at red lights. He parks his car close to the entry before he exits from the vehicle. He looks over his shoulder to find a familiar black car driving towards her, noting to himself it's Reece's. Seeing him wave his hand to make sure he's coming in later.

He clears his throat, clenching his jaw as he walks into the club. Reece wasn't lying, the club is too packed for tonight. As if God knew what is about to get down tonight and isn't going to let him get away with witnesses. He really needs to play safe for a while tonight.

As he strides through the room to find a table he has reserved for, a few half naked girls walk right pass him, stroking his exposed chest and grabbing his shoulders. Most of them are gorgeous and he's tempted to touch their soft skin yet he has to hold it. Not that he isn't interested because he's definitely taking someone back to his place tonight--fucking Reece had to be right-- but he needs to get his head in the game for at least an hour before planning to do so.

Gently, he pulls back a chair for him to sit. He specifically asks for the furthest table so no one can figure out what he's about to do tonight. A glass of whiskey has been set on his table before he got here, waiting for Joe's arrival. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Reece and Bianco walking over to his table. One of them gives him a nod to acknowledge his presence.

Harry lifts the glass up to his lips and take a sip of it. Honestly, he hates doing all of this dirty work. Sure, he's the boss. But he despises complicated things. He should've known not to trust Joe about anything, yet when he begged on his knees with a gun knocked against his head as he spat out a bunch of threats to the weakened man, he thought why not? If Joe didn't get to fulfill his demands, he gets to kill him either way. It's always a pleasure for him to do so.

"Mr. Styles! Ay, i'm so happy to see you. You look a lot cleaner than i saw you the last time, eh?" Joe's voice causes Harry's green eyes averts from the scene on the crowd. His eyebrows are knitted, jaw tightened as he taps his fingers against the table, causing the rings he's wearing to knock.

He owes him money worth $50,000. And this man had the nerve to walk in and act like nothing happened.

He is definitely going to kill him.

"Stop with all that shit and sit the fuck down. You owe me something Joe." Harry warns, pointing at him as Harry's men forces the dark haired male to sit down making him gulp. "You owe me 50 grand for that package you piece of shit."

Joe couldn't feel more terrified as he catches a glimpse of Harry's gun on the table, facing towards him. "I know Harry, I know. I didn't forget, okay? It's just the money is tight right now. The girls aren't getting the amount of money they used to be getting." Joe tries to reason but Harry isn't having any of it,

"Stop being a fucking pussy and blame your girls for the money you've lost. I'm running out of patience here, Joe. If you don't give me the money by the end of the week, you're a dead man. I still have one body bag left in my car and I wouldn't mind writing your name on it." Harry grits his teeth, looking at him with a dark look in his eyes. Hand gripping tightly around the glass

"No man, I need more than that. Please, I'll do whatever you ask me to. You will have your money man I promised." Joe begs, looking at Harry with hopeful eyes.

Harry finds it quite disgusting to see someone like him beg for mercy-- for the second time--or anything at all to be honest. He find that gesture is weak and vulnerable which makes him very easy to manipulate over. "I don't give out second chances."

Joe hears a gun clicks behind, he doesn't need to know what's going on. He knows one of the two men behind him is ready to blow his brains out. "Harry man. . . One more. . . Give me one more"

Harry isn't a patient man. He doesn't want people beg. He doesn't want him to beg. But he finds it interesting to see how it goes, playing along this little game of his.

"Fine. you give me your best girl and i'll give you two months." Harry offers, cocking his eyebrow as he leans back to relax himself. "No more than that."

Joe's eyes widen at Harry's demand. It's impossible to collect a 50 grand in two months, especially when he's short on it. He needs more than that. Still, he thinks two months is better than nothing. "Okay. . . Agreed. Just tell me which girl you want or-or i could bring one or two here, man. Take your pick."

Harry can only hum in response, scanning his eyes over the scene. Dozens of girls dancing on stage, few of them even has their bras taken off. It seems to him, none of these girls on the room is his type.

Until his green eyes fall on a certain slightly curvy woman with her leg wrapped around the pole.

Her long dark hair brushing lightly against the floor as she bend her back a bit. He observes the way her body move so dirty yet gracefully around the pole,  the way she bites onto her pink glossed lips and how her brown eyes manage to flirt with the crowd and had them lure into her eyes including himself. He swears this girl just steps out of his daydreams. She looks perfect.

He admires how she circle her hips painfully slow, jealous how he isn't close enough to watch her plump flesh near his strong figure.

"Her. I want her" Harry points at the girl he can't take his eyes off. His voice sounds too possessive but he doesn't care if he does. He's too enhanced with the way she moves on that stage and he loves how she swats those dirty hands who seems desperate to cope a feel with a dirty look on her face.

'Seems like a fighter' he thinks to himself

"Y/N? You want her?" Joe asks after he realises who Harry's pointing at.

"Y/N? That's a gorgeous name. She's not taken is she? Not that i care anyway. She's a dime from what i can see here." He says, not tearing his eyes off of her while he sips on his drink. "You're gonna give me her to me aren't you?" Harry asks, his eyes are threatening enough for Joe so he nods his head as a response.

"Yes. Of course. If that's what you want."

"Fuck yes i do. Bring me to one of your rooms. I want a private from her" He demands before gulping down his drink, standing up to head over to the back. Not before glancing at the gorgeous woman one last time who stuffs a few dollar bills in her panties.

*

*

After what it feels like forever dancing on stage and have men whistling at her to go over and give them more, she finally sit herself down on a chair in her dressing room and take a deep breath. Moaning in relief as she pulls her heels off while setting her timer on because she only has thirty minutes to rest before going back out there again. She leans back against the chair, sighing in a pure bliss.

She can hear a few girls talking and laughing while preparing themselves for their performance tonight, wishing she could just join in because Violet informs her earlier there's some juicy gossip she needs to talk about but she cant take it. She's too tired.

She has only closes her eyes for 10 minutes until a familiar voice speaks out,

"Where's Y/N?"

She groans internally. Can never mistake that voice soon as she hears it. Her manager, who sounds like he's panting, voice firm as if is an emergency to call her out like that. Y/N still has her eyes shut as she raises her hand up, not having the energy to respond.

"Okay, good. Y/N. You don't need to go back out there again. There's a special guest I need you to entertain. He's already waiting in the red room."

She nods and hum, only to realize what he means as her eyes bugs out.

Wait, what?

She's quick to turn around, brows furrows and mouth hangs open, not believing what she has just heard. "Pardon?"

"There's a man. A guy who I work with, waiting in one of the rooms. He specifically asked for you. I need you to at least give him an hour." Joe notifies, running his hand over his face as if he's stressed about something,

"You want me to give a lap dance to your co-worker?" She raises her eyebrow, not believing what he just asked her

Joe sighs angrily, "it's technically not--Y/N... please. No more questions, just go over there."

"Who's the guy?" she ignores his orders as she stands, crossing her arms across her chest. "Jesus, fuck. I really need my hair to breath" she mutters, brushing down her long dark brown hair,

"Harry Styles."

Y/N freezes in an instant. Looking up to stare at Joe in the eye to see if he's joking, he can only nod his head to confirm her questioning look. " you're shitting me."

"I'm not," Joe replies, walking over to her, not wanting the other girls to hear. "Y/N, I owe him money. I haven't got them yet and--"

She scoffs, rolling her eyes and continue messing with her hair a bit more. "Not my problem."

He reaches out to grab her elbow, pulling her harshly causing her to stumble a bit. "Y/N, please... He wanted to kill me out there earlier. The guy brought a gun for God's sake. He gave me a month but until then... he wants you."

"You know i'm not a hooker" Y/N defeatedly sighs. She wants to help him, she does but it sounds like he's selling her off for a month to this notorious and dangerous guy who is named to be the deadliest man alive by the people of New York.

She loves money but no fucking way she's willing to die for it.

"I didn't say you were" He roughly says, hand gripping tightly on her arm. "Just... do it" He let her go, tired of the waiting because he doesn't want to make Harry pissed off now,

The girl sighs angrily, squeezing her eyes shut as she hesitates for a while. What the fuck did she get herself into?

"Fine. just give me a moment."

Giving her a smile, Joe thanks her by giving her a kiss on the cheek, telling her the door number Harry is in before walking out of the room. Soon after he walks out, she feels sick in her stomach. How could she ever go face to face with a man with blood in his hands? She's about to give this man a lap dance. Who knew he might've ask for more?

So now, as she finishes re-applying a layer of red lipstick, she heads out. Walking to the back of the room in a slow pace. Heart beating loud and fast as she's about to come face to face with this man. Still, she needs to play it cool. God really fucking hates her,

If he really does exists.

She takes a deep breath before opening the brown door carefully, pushing it open. Her knees almost buckle at the sight of Harry Styles, lounging on the leather couch. A cigarette squeeze between his fingers. legs spread open as if it's an invitation already made for her. His head turns towards the door, a smirk graces upon his face.

She's not going to lie. He is indeed dashingly handsome. With his arms resting on the back of the couch making his biceps look a bit bigger. He's got killer looks too. she studies. Sexy smile, and stubble which creates a sexier look on his face. She catches a glimpse of a silver cross necklace resting against his broad chest. His eyes are sharp. Looking at her up and down with his bottom lip bitten between his teeth.

"My, my" he lowly whistles, watching her every move as she enters the room. Locking the door behind her. "I wasn't wrong. You are a fucking dime."

Y/N giggles-- though feeling scared shitless-- and run her hands over her hair as she struts her way towards his figure. Purposely swaying her ass side to side a bit to tease him. "Mr.Harry Styles. . . I heard a lot about you. Word on the street is that you're a man that likes to carry a danger" she smirks seductively as she stands in between his open legs, dragging her finger slowly down her chest.

Her angelic voice is like music to his ears,

"Yeah?" he smirks, eyes falling to the curve of her breasts. "Hope that doesn't scare you, doll. All i want is a dance from you, that's all. I also heard that you are their favourite girl. After seeing you danced on that stage, I now know why."

Again, she giggles. A small blush creeping on her cheeks, hopefully he doesn't see it. "You're a flirt aren't you, Harry? You do this to every girl?"

He places his hands slowly on her plump ass, he doesn't know if he's allowed to touch but he doesn't give a shit. She seems isn't bothered by it. He wants this girl and he wants her now.

"Only to those who i find interesting, baby. Now, are you going to show me what you got?" He asks, looking up to meet her brown eyes as he squeezes her flesh.

With a devilish smirk, she slowly sets herself down on his lap which causes him to let out a soft groan. She runs her hands down to his tattooed chest and toys with his cross necklace for a bit before whispering in his ear, "sit tight and relax, Mr. Styles. I'll be your good girl for tonight"

next chapter

*

i really don’t want to write a super long chapter, because i’m afraid it’ll bore you guys so maybe--i hope-- this is enough. anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this first chapter, let me know if you guys hate it or love it! I’ll appreciate it. love you guys!

#harry styles x reader #harry styles blurbs #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfictions #dom!harry #dom!harry styles #mafia!harry #mafia!harry styles #gang!harry #gangleader!harry #daddy!harry #daddy!harry styles

[frickenfaded]

--SFW--

This is my first headcanon ever. It's kind of a headcanon anyway.. This is how I think the Feral Boys would react to (f!) Reader getting mad over something stupid while she's on her period.

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Dream

It was about midday and {Y/n} had to force herself to get out of bed to retrieve food. She decided she would get cereal and return straight to her blankets. Once in the quite kitchen, she reached up in a cabinet and grabbed a bowl, however she accidentally set it down way too hard and the brittle glass bowl shattered everywhere.

She was absolutely enraged. All she wanted was a bowl of cereal and *this* is what she gets? It didn't take long after to hear the thomping footsteps of her boyfriend coming down the stairs to see what the commotion was about. {Y/n} stood with her arms crossed, about to make a move for the broom. "Fucking damnit." She cursed, unbelievably mad at the smallest event.

Dream ended up beating {Y/n} to the broom, sweeping up the shards of glass that littered the tile. He was being extremely careful and thinking his words over before speaking. He knew she was in her period, and that meant she gets angered easily and doesn't like being clung onto by anyone during the week. However, he recognized that she still appreciates his presence.

He steps a little closer, giving a small forehead kiss to his girlfriend before resuming the cleaning. "Baby, if you want too, you can lay in my bed while I edit. I'll clean this up and bring you some cereal." He suggested. "How did you know I even wanted cereal?" She asked. "Because, that's normally what you crave." He answered. She thought for a moment before deciding to take him up on his offer. "Thank you, baby." She mutters before heading upstairs.

George

The relationship between {Y/n} and George was still fairly new, this being their third month together. Therefore, he still isn't exactly sure what his girlfriend needs during her special time of the month. However, he's sort of getting the idea. It's just a bit tricky for him to know for sure when she's going through it, because she doesn't tell a soul. She leaves them guessing, taking pride in it even.

But this time was a little different. She was laying down in bed, trying to read the book "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen, when the realization struck her that she was currently using her last (pad/tampon/other). She didn't want to leave her bed, much less her house. She angrily closed her book and slammed in down on the nightstand, thinking over her options in her mind.

George just happened to be passing by her door whenever she slammed her book. It startled him a little, but he entered her room nonetheless. Although she heard him come in, she refused to tear her focus away from her thoughts. George knew something was up a couple days ago. The possibility of her monthly happening was a thought, but he wasn't 100% sure.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, walking over to the edge of the bed before sitting down. "No." She immediately answers, crossing her arms over her chest. She still didn't really want to give in that easily, though. She still had her pride, despite her situation. "What happened?" He wondered. "Nothing." She replied, avoiding his careful gaze.

"C'mon, Love, we both know that isn't true." He says, softening his tone of voice. She almost instantly melts into his stare. She huffs out a breath, however desperate to keep her silence. He treads lightly, brushing a strand of messy hair from her face, whilst caressing her cheek in the meantime. She finally gives way, breaking through to him as if a dam just broke. "Fine." She states.

He smiles, knowing he won without asking the question that would set him up for failure. "I'm on my last (pad/tampon/other) and I don't want to leave the house." She explained. George breaks into a small fit of laughter. "Was it really something that simple? That's nothing compared to what I thought was wrong. But I can get you what you need, Love." He says, after narrowly avoiding a harsh glare. "Would you like anything else while I'm gone?" He wonders. "Hm.. Maybe some chocolate... Please." She answers. He nods before giving her a swift kiss.

Sapnap

Sapnap.. Is quite the special case, to say the least. He does n o t pick up on hints very well... Which leaves him very lost and confused when his girlfriend all of the sudden starts acting a lot different than normal and suddenly more distant with him. She didn't exactly mean too, it was just what happens during her period.

He was scared that he did something wrong because of this, but he couldn't come up with a reason why. Did he leave the toilet seat up? Maybe he accidentally ignored her? What if he forgot about something they were supposed to do? Dear God, did he forget their anniversary or her birthday or something? Despite what he thought he did, he wanted to try and "make things right."

He entered her bedroom as she watching a John Mulaney special on Netflix. He stood beside her bed. "Hey, could we play Pokémon together?" He asked. "No. I don't feel like it." She didn't mean to add the annoyed tone to her voice, but she did. She was just annoyed in general. "D-Did I do something wrong?" He asked, scared of her answer. It was then when she realized she was being short with him and distant.

She sighed, knowing she owed him an explanation now. "I'm sorry, Darling. I didn't mean to come across like that. I'm just... cramping really bad today, and I'm really really really craving some ice cream, but I don't want to get up either." She explains, rambling just a little bit. He blushes a little when he realizes what was going on, but he quickly retrieves some ice cream for the both of them, before joining her in bed and finishing the John Mulaney special together.

Karl

Manz is prepared. I'm talking, he's got a secret box in his closet filled with everything she may need, from pads, to tampons, to chocolates, to a heating pad, he has it all. He's so dedicated to making sure he does everything right that he has a period tracker app on his phone to know when she's about to start. Therefore, he knows when he needs to back up and give you some breathing room.

So one day, when his girlfriend got very upset just because her phone died, he knew exactly why. "Do you need absolutely anything? I brought you a chocolate bar." He says when he hears the ruckus from her room. She softens up almost immediately, always touched by the way he knows what to do and say.

"Thank you.. Could you plug my phone up, please?" She asks. He happily jumps on the simple task, despite her charger literally being right beside her. "And maybe... could we cuddle for a little while too?' She wonders. He smiles brightly. "Definitely." He agrees, before slipping in bed with her as they start to watch Hamilton for the third time.

Quackity

Quackity seems to think it's comedy gold whenever his girlfriend gets infuriated by the tiniest things. He was sitting on the couch, watching something on the T.V., while {Y/n} came out of her room for the first time since today. She came to get a snack herself, not wanting to bother her boyfriend much.

But what she failed to notice as she was walking through the Living Room, was the Thanos doll that Quackity completely forgot to pick up earlier. And of course, she stepped on the damned thing. She yelped, almost falling over thanks to the toy. In a fit of rage, she picked the doll up and stomped over to one of the open windows, throwing it as hard as she could into the outside world.

Quackity could not stop laughing from the moment she stepped on the plastic toy, now laughing harder than ever because of it. "Shut up! It's your stupid fucking fault the thing was left there anyway!" She cursed, clearly displeased. He didn't listen, of course. "I-I'm sorry." He said through his laughter. As much as she wanted to stay mad, his laughter was contagious.

She ended up bursting with laughter as well, their voices mixing like milk and honey in the atmosphere. {Y/n} joined Quackity on the couch, laying across his lap as he played with her hair, the two starting to talk about random topics. She always went through a few days on her period where she was just a little more clingy than the others, but Quackity just learned to accept that. He wouldn't say it exactly, but he did actually enjoy it.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

That's it for this one lovelies! As I mentioned, this is indeed my first headcanon ever and actual content post I've posted on Tumblr. Therefore, I hope it wasn't too shabby. I'll get the hang of things soon, but for now, if you'd like to read any other things I've posted, the list is short, because I am pretty new here, but this option is available to you though this link:

My Creations♡

I hope you enjoy your stay here! Requests are always open! ♡♡

#feral boys #feral bois #dream smp #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #karl jacobs #quackity #big q #dreamsmp fluff #dream smp headcannon

[xlittle-writerx]

Enemies

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader

summary: peter like's y/n but y/n doesn't like peter, they think

warnings: none, a bit sappy towards the end

wc: 2.5k

•••

y/n POV

School is the only thing I manage to do right, being top of the class means so much to me and I’ve worked my ass off every hour of every day to be where I am today. It's not only that though it’s also the fact that if I weren’t good enough my parents would be super disappointed in me and I can’t have that because disappointing my parents is the last thing, I’d wanna do.

But then Peter came along and fuck he's better than me in every way possible way it scares me, like good on him for being a fucking genius but please stop, it’s also not fair that he's really attractive.

It hurts a little bit, it's not his fault I know that but I can’t help but be angry at him for taking the top of the class spot that I’ve had for 3 fucking years in a row and now he comes in here and takes it from me.

I want that spot back, no matter what it takes because if my parents find out they won’t be happy, and I can’t have that.

•••

Walking into first period English and taking a seat I wait patiently for the teacher to arrive going on my phone and reading some story I'd found on Tumblr. I feel someone hovering over my shoulders, so I glare up at whoever is interrupting my story, glaring, even more, when I see it's Peter, damn you genius.

"What do you want" I spit having had a bad day and not wanting to talk to the reason for it, he goes to reply but the teacher, Mrs Harrington, walks in ushering all the people that are out of their seats to sit down. Annoyingly there is a spare seat next to mine, so Peter decides it's a good idea to sit in that seat even though I'm sure he can tell that I don’t want to be near him, I sigh annoyed that he's ignoring my obvious discomfort then avert my attention back to the teacher.

"Good morning class, I hope you all enjoyed your weekend, today we are starting a pair project" Mrs Harrington starts and I hear murmurs around the class of people deciding who they want to go with "but don't get too ahead of yourselves I'm picking the pairs" at that the class then quiets down.

I start to doze off into my imagination while Mrs Harrington is picking pairs until I hear my name, "and lucky last I guess that leaves Ms y/l/n with Mr Parker, enjoy class" oh hell no I will not, I turn my head and frown at him and I swear I see a slight flash of guilt, but he covers it up with a charming smile and winks at, oh that confidence.

"I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of each other y/n, don't worry though I'll make sure we get a good grade" Peter whispers with a cocky smile, screw him and his attractive face.

He pulls the desk he's sitting at over to mine making a loud screeching sound along the floor and gaining attention from the whole class, he smiles sheepishly and giggles and I'm not gonna deny it was kinda cute, but I roll my eyes at him we start discussing what topics we should do our project on.

Now don't get me wrong Peter is extremely attractive and totally dateable and him being smart only makes him 100 times hotter, but the fact that he's the one person making my parents feel a strong sense of disappointment towards me trumps any feeling that I might feel towards him, I think.

Peter's POV

Peter get yourself together god I can't be crushing on y/n not only does she hate me because I got a better grade than her in some classes, but she now thinks I don’t care about her and god what was that stupid comment Peter "I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of each other y/n, don't worry though I'll make sure we get a good grade" I'm so stupid like 'y/n I'm sorry I just can't control what comes out of my mouth when I'm around you'.

I mean she's beautiful and smart and compassionate and kind and down to earth, who wouldn't fall in love with her, she is everything a guy like me could want and more and I know that she is way too good for me like way too good.

As the bell for the end of lesson rings through my ears I start to pack up my stuff and go to walk out the door when I hear Mrs Harrington say "ok class see you tomorrow you have until this time next week for your project so I will suggest to catch up with your partner outside of school if you want a high grade" I smile at the thought of seeing y/n outside of school.

"What the hell are you smiling at Parker" I hear her say from beside me, I'm surprised she even made a comment seeing how she supposedly hates me "well, hello, Parker you still there" I snap out of my thoughts at her waving a hand in front of my face. "Uhm— um- huh uh— nothing nothing" god Peter get your words out you’re a big boy. She giggles, giggles? At me and keeps on walking to her next class. I wanted to talk to her about catching up after school to do the project, so I grab her by the wrist saying "wait, y/n, I wanted to see if— um if you wanted to um— you know what never mind bye” I smile a small smile at her letting go of her wrist as she says bye back and watch her walk out of the class like a creep.

y/n POV

What the hell was that y/n, giggling at him, really, y/n doesn't giggle at boys. And also, what the hell was that tingling feeling in my wrist when he grabbed me and why oh why am I still smiling like an idiot.

He was being all cute though I'm not sure what was up with that.

I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket a few times and pull it out seeing a couple of messages one from my best friend Nevaeh and an unknown number.

I open Nevaeh's message first and it reads

•Nevvy• 💛: I gave your number to that really cute smart kid that's in your class ;) •Nevvy• 💛: go get him, tiger

I roll my eyes at my best friend’s antics and decide not to reply because she's in my next class.

Opening the number that I'm assuming is Peters’s I see a few messages.

Unknown: hi y/n it's Peter Parker I got your number from your friend Nevaeh she said you wouldn't mind I hope you don't I thought it would be smart if I got your number so we can chat about our project ;) Unknown: :)* shit sorry

Laughing at the last message he sent and changing his contract name to Peter I put my phone away making it to my next class before the bell goes, I see Nevvy walking in and go up to her making conversation waiting for the teacher to start the class.

•••

Peter and I are almost finished with our project which I am super thankful for, but we still need to add a few more bits and pieces of information before we hand it in tomorrow.

Over the past week, Peter and I have gotten kinda close and I don’t know what to think about that because I haven’t liked spending time with him ever because seeing his face just reminds me of how much of a failure I am to my family, but lately I haven’t been thinking about that when I'm with him all I can think about now is how cute his face is, and I don’t know what to do.

Fishing my phone out of my pocket I shoot a quick text to Peter letting him know I'm on my way over to his place.

Putting my phone away I walk down the busy streets of Brooklyn feeling the need to get some food, so I stop in at a small place called Delmar's and who do I see standing at the register, Peter freaking Parker, what are the chances.

I walk up behind him scaring him and he lets out a very high-pitched squeal I thought that he might be a little girl. Laughing he turns around scared out of his pants and he looks like he wants to piss himself. He lets out a breath of relief seeing that it’s just me and not some weirdo wanting to murder him or something.

"oh um— hey y/n, what are you doing here?" He stutters out, picking at the skin around his fingernails, I smile at his cute little nervous habit I’ve noticed he has and reply, "I was um— on my way to yours and wanted some food so I decided to stop in here, can you wait for me then we can walk together."

Peter's POV

Crap, she wants me to wait for her, what the hell is happening I thought that she hated me although she has been acting differently towards me this past week so maybe, just maybe will I have a chance with her, of course, she's way out of my league, but a boy can dream, can't he?

"Sure, yep I— I can do that" I stutter out once again looking up from my hands to see her smiling, god I love her smile, "thanks Pete" she replies happily then goes to order something at the counter I smile at the little nickname she's given me.

Once she had finished ordering she came over to me and we started walking to my place. I felt our hands brush together a few times and I know it's cliché as shit, but I felt tingles. I glance over at her to see her smiling down at her hand, if she’s smiling for what I think she’s smiling for then I think I might cry out of happiness, I'm hoping.

•••

Walking into my apartment building and into my apartment, I go straight to my room knowing that Aunt May is away for the week expecting y/n to follow me in there.

Once there I put all my stuff down and jump onto my bed with my English books, I see y/n looking around awkwardly trying to find a place to sit "y/n, you can um— you can sit here with me" I say patting the bed next to me, she just nods and walks over to me and we start discussing the project.

I feel the need to ask her why all of a sudden, she's being so nice to me since she's disliked me for as long as I can remember.

"Hey, y/n, why don’t you like me?" I ask nervously looking down at my hands and playing with my fingers.

"Um I— I don't really know... well I do" I look up at her to see she's already looking directly at me "I don't think I ever truly didn’t like you, I— I guess I just hated that you were better than me at the only thing I was good at" I go to reply but she cuts me off saying something else “I know its not your fault that your like a super genius” she laughs without any humour lasing her tone “but my parents have always said I should be the best at everything I do and that includes this I guess so when you got here and just popped up in front I took my anger out on you and I know, I know it was shitty but it felt better than thinking that I couldn’t do anything well anymore” she continues with a shaky voice, and I see a glassy look cover her eyes like she's about to cry.

"You see Pete you're amazing at so many things, not just school and it just felt like I got stabbed in the heart when I heard there was a new top of the class for the first time in 3 years and then going home and seeing the disappointed looks on my parent's faces, I don’t know I just felt like I had nothing left” she finishes, and I see a single teardrop from her eye, she quickly brings her hand up to wipe the tear but they just kept coming.

I can't stand to hear her talk about herself like that, it breaks my heart to see that she actually thinks that's the only good thing about her when there are so many more things "y/n listen to me, yeah, you're an amazing, smart, generous, beautiful, compassionate, kind, down to earth, genuine person and don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you any differently." I smile at her and see a dumbstruck look cross her face.

"You really believe that Peter, you think I'm beautiful?" She questions still not believing the words coming out of my mouth, I nod bringing my hand up to wipe more of the tears slowly falling down her face “of course I do your amazing” I smile at her and she gives me a small smile back.

The tears were gone now but I couldn't bring myself to remove my hand from her cheek, I look up into her eyes and see a light in them that I haven't seen in a very long time, she's so pretty, it's also at this moment that I realise she has started to move in closer, as in CLOSER, as in does this mean we are going to kiss, what if I'm bad at this, what if— my thoughts are cut off as I feel her soft lips pressing gently against mine, I'm in shock at first but then as I'm about to kiss back she pulls away leaving her forehead resting against mine.

"I— I've wanted to do that for forever" I let out breathlessly, she just smiles that beautiful smile and leans back in kissing with much more pressure than the previous one.

I bring my hands down to her waist as she entwines her hands in my hair tugging on it slightly, I accidentally let out a light groan the feeling of her pulling my hair being ecstatic, I feel slightly embarrassed until she giggles and kisses me harder climbing onto my lap and into a straddling position kissing me with so much passion.

We break the kiss breathless and panting wanting it to continue but knowing if we kissed for much longer, we wouldn’t be able to stop.

I just stared at her for a while thinking why in the world does this amazing, beautiful woman want me but boy I'm not complaining.

“You’re beautiful y/n”.

“So are you Peter”.

#peter parker #spiderman x reader #spiderman #peter parker imagine #tom holland #enemies to lovers #peter being shy #peter parker x reader #the avengers #marvel #the mcu #mcu #tom holland x reader #some angst #fluff #reader being sad about not being smart enough #peter parker angst #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fluff #peter parker x fem!reader

[lily28s]

Okay I know I've talked about mental health before on my blog, but most of my posts have been about uplifting and supporting people who need my support, I've probably never done a full post about my experiences, and just one of raw emotion, venting and being vulnerable but I decided, this is tumblr, and if I'm going to publicly vent, might as well be here, so here it goes.

And disclaimer: if this sounds like "attention seeking" to you it's probably because it is. I'm not "faking" or "exaggerating" my situation get popular or to get people to like me, I'm doing it both so I can get support, and to let other people dealing something similar know they're not alone. So don't even fucking start.

My roommate drives me insane, and I don't mean this lightly, I mean she is literally making me question my sanity. I woke up tonight at 2:00 am to her coming into the room, and then was subjected to a long episode of her coughing about once every minute or so until I couldn't take it anymore, which is like mental torture to me who has noise sensitivity issues. For people like me who are scared of thunderstorms, it's like that, but all day and night, every day, without the relaxing rain. It's like sitting in terror anticipating when the next bang is going to come. Or like that chinese water torture where every drip burns deeper into your brain. (Dramatic yes I know, but this is what I have to go through people) And I feel bad because it's a tic and she can't control it, and it's 100% not her fault, I'm thinking, she's probably annoyed by it too, and I'm trying to be kind to her in realizing that, and I remind herself that it doesn't make her mean or a bad person, but I'm also trying to be kind to myself in validating the kind of affect it's had on me, and how much pain and anxiety and hardship it's caused me. And the fact that she can't control it, doesn't make it any less anxiety and stress inducing. But the thing is, it doesn't seem like it's annoying her, typically people with tics are aware of them, she's not, like with my last post she said that she's "pretty good at keeping the room quiet" when my anxiety and meltdowns are direct proof that she is very much not quiet.

Anyway, I couldn't take it anymore so I left the room, at fricken 2 AM to go sleep on a living chair in a lounge outside of our room, I couldn't fall asleep because I'm just not used to sleeping in something that's not a bed, so I ended up just watching tik tok, then a few hours later at like 5, I came back hoping that she had fallen asleep and stopped coughing, well she didn't. She was still awake, so I blasted my emo playlist through my earbuds as loud as could stand it without worrying about hearing damage(😆) but that still didn't block out her noise. So I preceded to have a mental breakdown and cry, until she left the room at like 6. I was able to get some sleep until like 7:30 when she woke me up again with her coughing, and at this point, instead of having a meltdown, I'm having a full on anxiety attack, heart pounding, heavy breathing, and everything, I honestly don't know which one was worse. So I storm out of the room again, and just decide to get breakfast at the dining hall, (keep it mind, this is still all before 8 am. I am not used to having a breakfast, beyond a small bowl of cereal, this early) this whole time, she doesn't notice or check in with me.

This morning during math class I spent the first half of it crying (anybody in school knows crying in class is absolutely not fun) and the other half staring at my phone, which is unusual for me because typically, given enough energy, I'm pretty attentive during class.

I still haven't completely pulled myself together, as of right now, I have a test in 2 hours and I'm afraid I'm going to completely fail it. I had no sleep, no time or energy to study, and I'm a complete mess. Yes, all over some coughing and sniffling.

I used to think the situation wasn't urgent enough to have to go through the pain of moving again, but today was a sign that it is now more than urgent enough. I want out of here.

Making a part 2 later because this post is long enough.

#tw: anxiety #tw meltdown #mention of loud noise #tw torture #trigger noises #tw sniffing #misophonia

[hail-tommy-shelby]

Night At The Garrison (A Tommy Shelby Imagine)

Wattpad - @BRINGMETHECHLOE

Tumblr - @hail-tommy-shelby

{This is the first smut imagine I have wrote so forgive me if it's not the best. I would love your feedback after you have read it, if there are things I need to improve on I'd love it if you would tell me. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

If you like this imagine I will be posting more on this Tumblr for you to read. I am also starting a full fanfiction for Tommy Shelby on my wattpad which will have many chapters.

I hope you enjoy my writing. Happy reading.}

For as long as I can remember it's always been me and Ada. Ever since we were children you couldn't find one of us without the other. We used to say it was me and her against the world and we continued that way forever. Being best friends with her for this long we are more like sisters now. Such a close bond that can never be broken. We have no secrets between us, never will. No secret could be too big that we couldn't tell. That's how I knew about her and Freddie Thorne long before anyone else. I keep her secrets and she keeps mine. I was also the first to find out when she got pregnant. Me and Polly were the only ones that knew.

Polly and I are very close too. She classes me as family and has done since I was little. With me and Ada so close I practically grew up with and around the Shelby's. Polly and Ada treated me like family and the brothers always treated me well, especially John. Arthur used to tease him saying he loved me.

As I got older the way the Shelby's treated me never changed. They always made sure I was okay and kept me close. Tommy however, Tommy changed towards me. We used to talk, joke and have a laugh, then it all seemed to stop. He started talking to me less and less until I only got the occasional word out of him. I never knew why. I guess as he took on more and more responsibility with Shelby Company Limited he had no time to waste talking to his little sisters friend.

As the company got bigger and I grew up Polly insisted they give me a job. Now years later here I am, still working for the company and still as close to Ada and Polly as ever.

Now I spend most days working with the girls while doing the books. I've always loved working with them, it's always a laugh with Polly and Esme. After she married John getting to know her, me and Esme became great friends. We get along well and I'm glad John has someone like her, she's good for him.

Lizzie is the only other girl to work with us doing the books sometimes. She doesn't say much especially to me. I always get the feeling she really dislikes me and sometimes at work I catch her staring at me. I really don't understand Lizzie. I know Esme really doesn't like her. As soon as she found out John slept with her and nearly married her that was it. The dislike was clear. I don't think Polly is particularly a fan of her either. Her and Esme have this joke that Lizzie's mood that day depends on if she's currently fucking Tommy or not. I try not to think of it as the thought makes me feel sick.

Only Ada knows this but when I was younger I always hoped I would end up with him. I mean who wouldn't? Tommy is absolutely gorgeous. As I grew older I knew me and him would never be together and I accept that now. I still think he's stunning but I know he won't be mine. I just hope he finds someone that truly loved him and doesn't just want to fuck him.

Now here I am. I've finished work for the day and I'm at Polly's house with her and Ada. Tonight is a big night. Arthur and Tommy have completely done up the garrison and tonight is it's grand opening. Everyone is going to be there. The whole Shelby family and everyone who works for them. I'm really looking forward to it. Ada has a babysitter for Karl so we decided tonight we are going all out.

Me, Ada and Polly are getting ready, knowing tonight is a big deal we all want to look out best. After a bit of consideration I decide I'm going to wear my best stuff and dress up. For a little confidence I put on my black lace bra and panties with a matching garter belt that holds up my stockings. Just knowing I'm wearing this boosts my confidence greatly.

Getting dressed I start to put on my black embroidered dress which I bought just for the occasion. I love the dress as it hugs my hips and falls to my knees. It shows off my body nicely and looks great with the black heels I've paired with it.

After finishing my hair I stare into the mirror and smile. I apply a final coat of red lipstick and give myself an all over glance. There ready. I look good. I feel good. Tonight is going to be great.

Polly and Ada are ready soon after me, both looking gorgeous. With all of us happy it's time, we step out the house onto the streets of Birmingham and get into the car. It's not a long ride to the garrison and we are there rather quickly. The closer we get there I notice the more noise I hear. As we pull up on the street I hear it clearly, jazz music playing, people laughing and singing. By just the sound alone you would know it's a party.

Getting out the car I look at Polly, she has a huge smile on her face. Slowly the three of us start to walk and we reach the doors of the garrison.

"Tonight's gonna be a good night girls" I hear Ada from next to me before she swings the doors open.

As soon as I enter and my feet hit the floor I have to take a moment to take in my surroundings. The new garrison looks phenomenal, so fancy and so gold. The entire place was gold and all the chairs red velvet. A jazz band are playing next to the dance floor where many couples are already dancing. I've never seen the garrison this busy before. Everyone I know is here. Looking to the bar I can see Arthur behind it giving out bottles of champagne, with a big smile on his face. He looks really happy tonight, I've not seen him this happy in a while.

Looking around the room I take in the sights and atmosphere of the place when I suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind. Gasping I turn around shocked to see a laughing face behind me.

"Fucking John" I shout hitting him on the shoulder which gets Ada and Polly laughing.

"Some things never change" Polly laughs then directs us all to the table where Esme is already sat.

John finds his seat next to Esme and pulls out a bottle of whiskey "I must say you all look lovely."

"Aren't you a charmer" I joke taking a seat next to Ada.

Cracking open the bottle of whiskey conversation and drink flowed equally. Before I knew it the bottle is empty, I'm a little tipsy and Ada is pulling me up to dance.

Finding a rhythm to the music we start to dance in the middle of the floor. We twirl eachother shaking our hips and laughing like a bunch of children. I keep turning and twirling until I feel it. I feel like someone is watching me. Turning around once more I spot it. I could only take a quick glance but I spot it, I know those eyes. Swaying my hips in a new direction I turn both me and Ada around so I can face him. There he is, looking as good as ever and looking at me. Thomas Shelby.

Tommy is sat at a table, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I notice Lizzie is sat with him. Both of them are not talking and they're both looking at me. Why are they looking at me? They have never payed any attention to me, so why now? Both of them staring like this is making me nervous.

I focus back on my dancing trying to distant myself from the thought of them both looking at me. I spin Ada around as she does the same to me, as I turn around I see Lizzie. She doesn't look very happy as she walks out the garrison. I take a look at Tommy to see if something had happened but his eyes haven't moved from me at all. He's looking at me so intently it almost scares me. Every nerve in my body is telling me to look away but I can't. I continue swinging my hips but my eyes lay on him as his are on me.

Oh those eyes, those amazing bright blue eyes. The way he's looking at me, it's like he can see inside me soul. I've never experienced something so intense. This one look from him and my body is on fire. One look from him and I'd do anything he asked. This man, the man who with one stare has me completely at his will.

I snap myself out of my thoughts, I need a drink.

"I'm going to the bar" I shout to Ada over the music then walk to get a drink. As I reach the bar I notice I'm breathing heavy and feel hot. I order two whiskeys and wonder if Tommy is still watching me. Chancing another look, I see he's still there staring at me. Why is he doing this? I down one of my whiskeys hoping it will calm my nerves, then I see it. He's smirking at me. Thomas Shelby smirking at me. Maybe he knows the effect he has on me. Oh god I hope not.

Avoiding his gaze I take my whiskey and go and sit with Polly.

"Are you alright Hun? You look hot" she asks.

My cheeks heat even more "I'm out of breath from dancing" I lie which makes Polly laugh.

After some conversation I start to zone out, John, Esme and Polly continue talking while I just think. My mind wonders back to Tommy. I don't understand what's going on. He never pays attention to me and then tonight, the way he's looking at me. What's changed? And that smirk, I've never seen that before. The way his lips looked so desirable. The man is so unbelievably sexy. Crossing my legs I snap myself out of my thoughts and drink another whiskey.

A few bottles of whiskey and a lot of dancing later the night has flown by. Everybody else has gone and the only people left are me, Ada, Polly, Arthur, and Tommy. The band left so the only music playing is coming from a gramophone.

Even though it's late me and Ada are still dancing. Ada seems to be very drunk and stumbling while twirling around. As I shake my hips I hear a loud bang which I turn to see is Ada, she's on the floor laughing hysterically.

"Bloody hell Ada, how much have you had to drink?" I hear Arthur moan as he helps her up. I can't help but giggle as I continue to twirl.

Arthur picks Ada up in his arms and Polly grabs her things "come on you, let's get you home."

I keep dancing with closed eyes just focusing on moving my body to the music. After the song finishes I open my eyes to see only Tommy. The rest of them have gone. Tommy is sat down with a drink watching me. As I realize it's only me and him left I stop dancing and sit down at the table. Me and Tommy haven't been alone together in years, this is new. Looking up at him, he has poured us both a glass of whiskey and I reach for a cigarette. Almost instantly Tommy holds a lot match up to me. I slowly lean towards him lighting my cigarette while looking into his eyes. Just looking at him nerves travel through my body.

"The place looks great" I say taking a drag and trying to make conversation.

"You looked like you had a good time" he stated "you're a good dancer."

I drink the whiskey trying not to blush "I love to dance."

"You know I've not danced all night."

I gulp as he stands up Infront of me putting out his hand.

"Dance with me."

I take a moment to watch him shocked before putting out my cigarette and taking his hand.

Tommy leads me to the dance floor before putting one hand on the small of my back and mine in his other.

After a second, he slowly starts to move, pulling me closer to him. The dance is simple and slow. Tommy leads and I follow his movements. Turning us around slowly he then lifts up my arm and gets me to twirl. I couldn't help but laugh as he takes my hand again, "I don't believe I've ever seen you dance Mr Shelby."

"I am a man of many talents" he spoke turning is around.

"I'm sure you are" I smile.

I can't believe this is happening. I'm dancing with Tommy. I've never seen this side of him before. He's being so sweet.

Pulling me closer I feel Tommy's head in the crack of my neck. Every breath he takes I can feel, each almost sending shivers down my spine. Taking a deep breath I take in his scent as I feel his hand on my waist. He smells amazing. I've never noticed that before. It's like a mix of cigarettes, whiskey, smoke and pure Tommy Shelby. Can this man be anymore perfect?

As the song finishes I slowly pull away "I guess I should be getting home."

Tommy insisted he would drive me and the entire ride home made conversation. This is the most I've spoken to him in a long time. He asked about me and how I was doing and I asked about him and the company. As we arrive at my place I've had such a good time with him I don't want him to leave. "Thank you for driving me home."

"It was my pleasure" Tommy turns off the car, gets out and opens the car door for me.

"Thank you." Walking to my front door Tommy is right behind me. I get out my keys unlocking the door before turning to face home. "Thanks again for driving me home."

Tommy steps forward his arms wrapping around my waist, mine instantly wrap around his neck.

"Tommy I " before I could finish talking his lips are on mine.

His lips, which I thought would be tough are soft and plump. The kiss starts out soft, both of us getting used to each other before it depends. His tongue invading my mouth as a moan escapes my lips. Not wanting the kiss to end I pull Tommy into my house shutting the door. My back hits the wall as his hands find my hips, sighing into his mouth I tug on his hair.

My mouth finds he jaw as our hands fumble to take each others coats off. Once achieved my hands start undoing shirt buttons revealing his chest. Tommy's lips move lower sucking on the sensitive skin on my neck making me moan, "Tommy."

"Jump" he whispers heavily in my ear, I do exactly as he says wrapping my legs around his waist, my hands clawing at his chest. In this position I feel him. I can feel him growing hard underneath me, our clothes an unwanted barrier. My hips involentry rock back and forth the sensation making me want a sweet release. I hear Tommy groan biting my neck at the feeling, "where's your room?"

"Upstairs to the right."

With no hesitation Tommy carries me upstairs placing me on my bed before pulling away. "No Tommy I want you."

"Patience love" he smirks looking down at me "you have me." Leaning over me he rejoins his lips to mine. "Your'e wearing too many clothes" he breathes pulling away.

I'm now sat on the edge of the bed with Tommy on the floor between my legs. I feel his hands slowly stroking my thighs then higher and higher as he lifts off my dress. I don't know what it is but him undressing me like this feels so intimate, like he's finally seeing me after all these years. Throwing my dress to the floor he removes my shoes then lays me flat.

I can't see him but I can feel him. A kiss on my upper thigh makes me squirm.

"Stay still."

I do as I'm told and relax my body. Another kiss on my thigh has my senses heighten but I stay still following his instructions. Slowly he kisses down my leg bring my stocking with him. As he makes his way all the way down he removes my stocking before starting again on the other, only this time slower.

The feeling of him slowly undressing me, his mouth on my legs is magical. I close my eyes focusing on the feeling. As he finishes removing the last stocking my body ignites with anticipation. My legs are now completely bare and his hands wonder over the newly unclothed skin.

Lowering his head between my thighs I feel his breath against my underwear. "Tommy please" I gasp.

"You are so beautiful."

His breath hits my sensitive area making my nipple's harden. Sitting me up, Tommy's mouth is on mine again, his tongue taking over mine as I pull on his hair earning me a growl that makes my body clench. The kiss becomes more urgent as he takes off my bra throwing it to the floor.

"Lay back" he instructs standing up.

Groaning at the loss I do as he says laying back down, Tommy standing over me.

"My my what a beautiful sight."

I bite my lip at his words watching him look at every inch of my body. As Tommy looks over me he removes the rest of his clothes.

"So so beautiful."

A shocked gasp escapes my mouth as he removes his boxers leaving him completely naked. His erect penis at full attention. He's so big! This man could not get any more perfect if he tried. He's a masterpiece.

Tommy urgently returns his lips to mine as he lays on top of me, my hands exploring his back and arms. I feel him nudge my legs apart with his knee as he settles in-between them. The tip of his penis touching my clothed core.

I moan into the kiss at the sensation, his hands finding their way to my breast. Kissing down my jaw to my neck his mouth then latches on to one of my nipples. Tommy's mouth is sucking on one nipple as his fingers play with the other. He leaves no part of my breast ignored as his mouth and hands explore every inch of my sensitive skin.

Continuing to give me pleasure he removes the last of my underwear so I am completely naked beneath him. I can't believe I am naked underneath Thomas Shelby. The man I've always wanted and here he is giving me such pleasure. His hands don't move from my breasts as he starts to kiss over my stomach. Many emotions are filling my head, lust, joy, impatience and I feel quite vulnerable. Being in this position is so overwhelming I'm vulnerable to his every touch and would do anything he asks of me.

Slowly as he kisses sloppily lower down my stomach I feel him open my legs wider. He can see me, all of me. Just knowing he can see every crevasse of my body makes my heart race and pussy wet.

"Tommy please" I moan a little breathless. My need for him growing to a unbearable height.

"You're so wet for me" I hear him groan.

Biting my lip I run my hands through my hair trying to control my urges.

"I want a taste."

As soon as the words leave his mouth I am hit with a wave of pleasure. His mouth has attached itself to my clit licking and sucking on every nerve, a familiar throbbing taking over.

"Fuck" I moan my hands grabbing into his hair. The feeling of his mouth on me is indescribable. My hips involentry bucking at the pleasure "Tommy I need you, fuck me."

Tommy sits up, his mouth grazing mine, I can feel my wetness on his lips. "You want me to fuck you?" As the words leave his mouth. I feel the force of his two fingers enter me making me moan.

"Fuck yes."

He circles his fingers inside me the pleasure intense "with these?"

"No" I whimper trying to distant myself from the pleasure for a second. "With these" I moan grabbing his hardened cock.

Tommy shudders at my touch as I stroke him, his penis rock hard in my hand "please Tommy."

Removing his fingers from inside me he stops my hand from stroking him. My knees open wider as he sets himself in-between grabbing himself, "you want this?"

My hips buckle at his voice my pussy dripping wet "yes."

Laying his body on mine he kisses my lips. I want him so much. The kiss is full of urgency and need.

Moaning I feel his cock rub against my clit in circles. I break the kiss and look up at him and he at me. Its only a moment but we just look at eachother, almost taking eachother in before locking lips again.

Slowly I feel him sink into me, his lips silenting my screams. He feels so good inside me, almost heavenly. His big cock fills my full leaving no empty space.

Rocking his hips I feel every inch of him as he feels me wrapped around him. "You feel so good."

Knowing I'm giving Tommy pleasure turns me on more. Starting slow at first I can see his eyes scrunch up at the feeling of being inside me.

"Please Tommy deeper" I whimper in his ear wanting more of him if it was even possible.

"Fuck" he groans at the sound of my voice before thrusting into me at a breathtaking pace.

I wrap my legs around him and pull his body flat against me. The feeling of him is almost too much, the familiar pressure building up inside me. Bucking my hips to meet his every thrust he pins my wrists above my head leaving me unable to move, then continuing to pound into me mercilessly. I have no control or choice but to take every ounce of pleasure he is giving to me.

"Fuck Tommy" as his pace fastens I know I will definitely be bruised tomorrow. Each thrust has me closer and closer to the edge bringing tears to my eyes the pleasure that intense. It's like nothing I've ever felt. I never want this to end, I want to stay like this with him forever.

I feel my insides start to tighten and clench as Tommy goes deeper and faster.

"Cum for me."

I can't speak no words will leave my mouth, nothing but my moans and whimpers. I wrap my legs tighter around him not wanting to lose any part of this blissful feeling. A few more deep thrusts and my body begins to shake. I close my eyes tight shut and hold onto Tommy for dear life. In just a few seconds my orgasm rips through my body as I scream Tommy's name over and over.

Feeling my muscles clench around Tommy his thrust start to get sloppy and his cock starts to twitch. Two thrusts later his orgasm hits it's high and I feel him cum inside me.

Trying to catch our breath we both lay there still connected, both letting the other calm down after our highs. Silence fills the room, nothing is heard now except our deep breaths.

As we both com round I whimper as Tommy removes himself from me and lays back down.

"That was ..." I pant.

"Great?"

"Better" I smile laying my head on his chest " we should do it again sometime."

"Oh we will be."

I giggle as we both lay there starting to fall asleep. Tonight was the best night of my life, I've never felt this happy and content. We wrap our arms around eachother and close our eyes letting sleep take over our bodies.

I hope you liked it. As I said it was my first ever smut written so if you have any advice or feedback I would be so grateful if you message me. Thanks for reading.

#peaky blinder #peakyblinders #peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders smut #tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby smut #tommy #tommyshelby #thomas shelby #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby fanfic #smut #fanfiction #fanfic #imagine #arthur shelby #john shelby #finn shelby #polly gray #michael gray #tatiana petrovna #ada shelby #ada thorne #grace shelby

[albatris]

Hey hello I sent in an anon about starting tarot a while ago (I do not know when I know it was post quarantine starting but...time is wild) and i was wondering if you answered it? This isn't at all me trying to pressure you please please don't read it that way, i totally get it if you didn't! I just know that tumblr's search function is very broke and I'm scared I missed your answer, which would be sad. (I hope this doesn't sound like a bother it's genuinely all good if not I'm just checking!)

YES oh my gosh holy shit hello hi yes hi anon my dear I did in fact completely fucking forget to actually answer your original ask I am so sorry lmao

thank you for reminding me ajhdfgjhsdfg and again I’m so sorry it took me forever anyway I’m gonna just uhhhh look up your original ask real quick

OKAY so resources and starting decks! there are lots and lots of people who know more than me so I feel a little unqualified to answer this but I can tell you my thoughts?? but I definitely recommend looking into what other folks have to say on starting out, I’m sure there are lots of different opinions and ideas! :D

also sorry, it’s me you’re asking, so you’re not gonna get nice neat dot points and I’m not great at being concise, I’m just going to ramble if that’s ok, very sorry, very sorry

under the cut rambles

so........................

for learning meanings........ it’s a lot of work, there’s a lot of detail and a lot of different things to think about during readings, I’ve been learning tarot for around seven years on and off and I still don’t remember everything! 

so IMO it’s best not to come at tarot with the intent to Learn Everything before you start! it’s the perfect thing to learn as you go! my advice would be to just kinda throw yourself in. when you first get a deck, go through the cards and vibe with them some and look at their meanings, but mostly just kinda contemplate them, don’t try to memorise everything at once. start doing readings, look stuff up as you go............. I would recommend keeping a journal where you document your readings............ which will help you with memory and picking up on patterns and connections....... uhhhh

I really like using apps as a companion as well!  they can be a super good resource even if you don’t want to use them FOR readings necessarily

I use Galaxy Tarot as a convenient way to look up meanings and summaries of the cards when I just need to kinda jog my memory (though the descriptions aren’t super detailed), and it has a function where you can either do a reading with the app or you can do a reading yourself and then plug the cards you’ve drawn into the app, and it can help you with pointing out recurring themes and symbols and connections between the cards, which can be handy when you’re first starting out and maybe feel a little overwhelmed by the Amount Of Information you’re trying to take in

uhhhh another one I’ve used in the past is Labyrinthos Tarot, which is an app to help you learn and memorise the cards and their meanings., from what I can remember there are sorta, games and exercises to help with it, I forget exactly how it works since it’s been a while since I used it! but maybe that’s a good one to check out too?

I feel like apps is something i should’ve mentioned at the end but anyway moving on to the rest of it

most decks will come with a guidebook of some sort! so you’ve got the traditional rider waite tarot deck (which is probably the default deck most people think of when they think of tarot), and there are plenty of resources online such as Biddy Tarot which can give you a fairly detailed rundown of the card meanings! these meanings can be applied to variations of the rider waite cards, but lots of decks are a little wild and a little funky and are off doing their own thing while still following the basic rider waite structure, and if you receive a guidebook with a deck, that’s definitely an invaluable resource!! ‘cause it’ll give you the artist’s kinda interpretation and their meanings, their own personal touch, even if you then look up the card in more detail online

ALSO tarot is just a whole fuckin tonne about intuition as well though! so as much as it can feel like something where you need to focus on all the details and try and keep them all rigid and by-the-book, you might do a reading and feel yourself drawn in a certain different direction or just get a “feeling”, so you should definitely be open and flexible and listen to what your gut tells you as far as meanings go! plus, you will develop your own relationship to the cards and maybe draw your own personal meanings and associations! that’s definitely not something to fight against and don’t worry about whether that means you’re doing it “wrong” - you should listen to those feelings, those r important!! :D

lastly I will say, it can be helpful to have someone who is more experienced with tarot around who you feel you can ask for advice from or get second opinions from if there’s something you’re confused about! or who can give you tips and tricks from firsthand experience. like, it doesn’t have to be something you learn alone, and having a teacher or companion can be really helpful in terms of bouncing ideas and getting new perspectives! I throw this out there because I always forget to say things like this, ‘cause I forget that other people Are Not Me and other people like being around people lmao rip

and as far as starting decks go........... it really depends so much on what you want and what’s important to you! some people will say start with the traditional rider waite tarot, and if you decide to do that, you will certainly have a lot of resources at your disposal! it’s a valid place to start for sure

but there’s also SO many different decks out there with all sorts of themes and art and personality, and IMO......... I’d kinda urge you in the direction of choosing something you’re personally interested in and engaged with! it can make connecting with a deck easier and can help you stay interested and engaged during learning! but that’s just me

when I got my first deck the lady in the store kinda just took me to the collection of decks and just asked me which ones I vibed with and which one kinda called out to me or one I was drawn to, then she let me take a look at some of them and she showed me how to handle them and use them!! this was my first experience, n I was told just to go with what Feels Good And Right

n there’s so much cool art out there! and many interesting themes! you might not know which one you’ll latch onto until you see it, so take some time to look around and see what speaks to you c:

for instance, certain themes like cats or flowers, certain art styles, maybe certain series you’re into (I have two welcome to night vale decks n the raven’s prophecy by maggie stiefvater), or queer friendly decks! I have the Numinous Tarot which I ADORE, which is a deck with gorgeous artwork and extremely queer, all gender neutral language and lots of diverse designs, etc

so it depends what you’re into! take some time to feel it out, my friend

I would also like to throw out a mention to oracle decks as well! I actually started with oracle decks long before I used any tarot decks c: 

I am................... very tired. and blanking on the best way to explain the difference between oracle and tarot decks, but you can look into this if you’re interested! lots of people use both or use them in conjunction with each other and there’s benefits to both n so on and so forth........

but in terms of Starting Out, and getting comfy with doing readings? they can also be really helpful in this regard! I found since oracle decks can have any number of cards and are less “structured” than tarot decks in a way, it can be really helpful as a way to get comfortable with things if you find, just, the Amount Of Detail that is involved in tarot decks overwhelming!!

it was something that helped me get the ~feel~ of doing readings and sensing with the cards and vibin and such, n get some practice drawing connections between cards and deriving meanings from the stories the cards present! but in a way that’s not quite as...... overwhelming?? as traditional tarot decks?? I was SUPER intimidated by just how extensive tarot decks were when I first started and I thought I’d never figure out what I was doing HAHAHA

but again, it’s just practice, I think!

where tarot will follow the same 78 cards and structure and is very traditional and I guess “rigid” is not exactly the right word?? but yeah?? oracle decks are a lot more flexible in what they represent and a lot more loose in the structures they can take

I do love oracle decks because of how varied they are!! each one is its own little system and its own unique universe and it’s really quite lovely, even if you aren’t into Actually Doing Readings with them, y’know?

but then, I find tarot decks the same way, what will all the different art styles and different people’s interpretations and renditions of the same story, like, it’s really fascinating!! 

this has just turned into me rambling about how cool they are now

point is, do a little research into what sorts of decks and themes you might like to buy, when you get a chance I thoroughly recommend visiting a store so you can speak to someone who has some experience with tarot decks, they can help guide you when it comes to picking one and giving you some tips!! remember that it’s about intuition and following your gut as much as it is about memory and precision, so you should pick a deck that Feels Right

and uhhhhhhhhhhh

just kinda throw yourself in!! that’s literally my best advice!! you’re never gonna memorise everything beforehand (I’ve been learning on and off for seven years and I still often have to consult guidebooks and webpages) but you WILL absolutely learn as you go

it might feel very clumsy starting out, but as with any craft, you will improve with practice and begin to feel more comfy and confident with it as you go!

I hope this helped out some!! maybe!! possibly!!!!! ok goodnight!!!

#Anonymous #important caveat is that ive kinda just #been vibin on my own for most of my learning so i feel like #maybe there will be things i do that are not necessarily the ''right'' way or the common way or i might be #a little inexperienced and all #but i think it's also very personal and you'll find a way of doing things that works for u #in other words I Have No Idea If I Sound Like A Complete Dumbass when i talk about tarot #HAHAHAHA #anyway ok i hope this maybe gave you........ something...........? to work with #again i am so sorry i dont know how to be concise honestly i could have probably explained this in like #3 paragraphs #i can only hope u were aware of my rambling tendencies before u sent this and knew what u were in for lmaoo

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

ZP Fanfiction Review

Hellooo internet! Welcome to GAAAAAAYYY THEORY-

I am so sorry.

Anyway, welcome to what I can only call a test run for a series I've decided to start. For more info, I'd recommend reading my previous post. To give a brief explanation, I criticize written works done by others in order to help myself and others improve, and recently I've turned my attention to ZP fanfiction (as you do). This series is in no way meant to shame anyone or anything like that. I am simply stating my opinion, and anyone reading this can take whatever they want from it.

Now, while I do take requests, for the first few of these posts, I put the titles of random fics that I have read, and pulled one out at random. Since I admittedly haven't asked these writers for permission, if one of them contact me and wish for me to take a review down, I will. Do not send any negative bullshit to anyone whose fics I review.

With that said, I hope you enjoy, because today we're going to look at a fanfiction posted on Wattpad by a Tumblr user known as @thiccdemonlover69-blog. Now, something I want to make clear is that this was written back in 2017. This isn't representative of this user (who I will refer to as TDL) 's current writing abilities. The fic in question is this one here,

So, originally, I was going to do a full synopsis of the story, but I ultimately decided against it. Not only did it make the post longer than it needed to be, but knowing myself, I would undoubtedly leave something out by mistake. Therefore, I encourage you to read the story before continuing this review. I will be going through it chapter by chapter, and I will give my thoughts on each one.

*****************

Chapter 1 "A Normal Day... or so Damian thought "

Not too much to say here since this is an introductory chapter and not much really happens in it. Because of this, however, I thought that I would take the opportunity to address what I already predict will be an elephant in the room.

Like most of us fans, TDL has their Headcanons and theories about the ZP characters. You'll notice in the story that Satan and Damian have a slightly different relationship than in the comic, as Satan is more present in his son's life here. This is just an example of what I'm talking about. Now, I actually don't have a problem with this by itself. I'm all for writers including their own unique ideas in fanfiction, however, I have a problem with some of the changes made by TDL to the characters and setting. There's nothing egregious here, but as we go on, I think you'll be able to understand what I mean.

One positive for this chapter is that it serves its' purpose as an intro very well. We get an idea of the upcoming conflict without it being spelt out.

Chapter 2 "At Hell No. 2 (School)"

Ok, so overall this chapter in itself isn't terrible considering how it introduces the relationships between various characters here and further sets up the upcoming conflict. However, I have to ask some questions about the characters. First, I've noticed that throughout the story, certain characters that you'd expect to make an appearance I guess just don't exist here. Sahara and Narissa (Dame's mum), for instance, have apparently been snapped by Thanos. Meanwhile, some characters have noticeably different personalities. Jack, for instance, is much less shy and passive and has more or less taken on Zill's personality. Also, I guess he and Dame are buds now. Kayla... is a whole topic that I will touch on later. Eli wasn't introduced in the comic, and the best we have is his character sheet, so I guess he's ok here? Addi is in character, Autumn barely exists, Zill... just kind of exists? Finally, Dame has had a few weird changes to him that I'll touch on in a bit.

Ch. 3 "A Not-So-Normal School day"

Ok, so let's talk about Kayla real quick, shall we?

A common sin committed by inexperienced writers is the tendency to villanize characters in order to push the narrative forward. In this story, Kayla is practically cartoonish in how awful she is. She's physically harmful, a bitch, a homophobe, and is overpossesive of Zill. I get the idea that TDL doesn't like Kayla, because to me it seems like she was turned into a bitchy Leeson. Now, Kayla in cannon can get frustrated and angry at times, but for the most part, she's a nice person. She's the type to defend others against bullying, and would never bully someone else. Not only that, but I don't buy this version of Kayla because canonically she's scared of Dame. His appearance alone is enough to make her yeet herself across the room. If she did something such as knocking something of his off his desk, she'd probably panic.

I can only imagine two reasons why she was changed in such a way. One, to have Damian not crush on her. Now, if this is the case, I don't think villainizing Kayla is necessary. You can just say that Damian outgrew his crush on her and be done with it. Two, is to create drama. If this is the case, is Kayla really the best candidate for the drama causer here? I wouldn't think so, and you could probably replace Kayla with someone who'd be more likely to bully someone, like Rusty or Baltimore or something.

Aside from Kayla, another problem I want to mention is that art class scene. Addi's mum getting a minor to pose nude in front of his class is actually kind of creepy, and I don't believe that it would be aloud.

Chapter 4. "The Second, more worst bully"

First of all, that title could use a rewrite.

This chapter mainly exists so the story can show how much of a bitch Kayla is now, and I've already spoken about that. I will mention some positives, however. Something I like in this story is whenever TDL adds in little details like characters having secret handshakes or characters eating dinosaur nuggets. I know this seems small, but this random little specifics give the story a cute, quirky charm that I am here for.

Chapter 5. "The Moment Damian has Been Waiting for "

Not too much goes on in this chapter. We get some funny bit of dialogue ("Ooh, is that drama I see" made me crack up) and a wierd scene where Dame is suddenly One Punch Man, and he cracks Jack's skull open by simply bonking him on the back of the head.

Since there's not much to say, I want to take the opportunity to talk about Damian in this story. First, again, I don't have an issue with writers adding in their ideas to their fics. The whole thing with him being a cross dresser? Cool. That's it. That is my entire thought on that.

There are some other changes that confuse me, however. For instance, the ADHD is integrated really weirdly. It gets brought up at really random times, nothing is really done with it, and overall it just seems to serve as a reason for Dame acting hyper. The story could have just had one line that said "Damian has ADHD " and nothing would have changed.

Another thing, and this isn't something exclusive to TDL, but apparently Damian is homosexual. Not bi, just gay. This is a change I actually see a lot of the time with Dame, and I don't know why. Like... is it so difficult to imagine him liking more than one gender? Do you think that he needs to be gay in order to be in a homosexual relationship? Because he doesn't. Bisexuals can do the same thing as gays. It's just such a random change that it just bugs me.

There's also the fact that Damian is apparently amazing at everything. He's an A plus student, a great actor, a great artist, etc. I'm not sure what TDL is going for with this angle. It's something else that just seems random, because the only thing that this does is make teachers confused about why Dame is sad and it makes other characters freak out about how brilliant Damian is.

Chapter 6. "The Date"

Ok, let's all just admit it. Damian going "RIBS RIBS RIBS RIBS..." is in one way or another a fucking mood for everyone. Don't you fucking lie to me.

The interactions between Eli and Dame are mostly cute, and we get some funny dialogue here too. The one issue I have is something not exclusive to this chapter, and it's how Damian is kind of treated like a child. Characters talk about him like his a little kid, and even the way Eli talks to him to calm him down in this chapter is (to me) reminiscent of a babysitter dealing with a hyperactive kid. I bring this up now because I want you all to remember this. It will get creepy later on...

Chapter 7. "The crazy household of Damian "

Easily my favorite chapter.

We still get bits where Dame is kind of treated like a child, but it's barely noticeable here. TDL is actually pretty good at writing wholesome scenes and scenes where a couple characters are just hanging out. This chapter actually reminded me of events that happened in my own life, so believe it or not, I actually got a nostalgia hit reading this. This chapter just put a smile on my face. Shame that it came right before the worst chapter. Buckle in kids.

Chapter "It's Time... and Absolutely Everything goes to shit"

What a fitting title!

First, let's talk about how not a lot in this chapter makes sense. Ok, so everyone knows that Kayla doesn't like Dame and shit could go down if they ever cross paths. And yet, they bring Damian to a party at Kayla's house, and act surprised when shit hits the fan. This happens again when Damian tries to talk to Kayla, and she spits in his drink. I don't know what any of these characters were expecting. There's a weird focus on food in this chapter. Kayla ironically becomes a badass because she decks someone and immediately follows that up by heading off to pop lock and drop it on the dance floor. Zill exists, and he's drunk. He makes out with Damian because.... Kayla's a homophobe? I think that's the reason? Jack literally gets into a fucking wrestling match with Kayla. Rusty is just here. Eli disappears for a while, and I guess Addi just teleported out of the party because the only contribution that he makes is that he messes up the time.

Ok, my favorite scene here is when Dame is like "oh I don't wanna dance bc I sad" and Rusty just shows up for some reason and remarks very loudly that Damian is good at ballet. This info is so shocking, the DJ, who somehow heard this over the music, turns off the tunes, there's awkward silence, and then everyone laughs at Damian. No. I don't get it either. Like... how did anyone hear Rusty, how fucking loud was Rusty talking, how did people know who Rusty was referring to, why is the concept that a dude does ballet so shocking, especially when you'd think that the fact that he's the antichrist is more shocking? Like... am I just having a fucking stroke right now?

Oh, and remember how I mentioned how Damian is treated like a child in this story? Remember how Damian is a teenager, and in other words, a minor? So, apparently, not only do we learn that Damian once got a boner but his father spanking him, but apparently Styx, an adult, has had sex with Damian on multiple occasions. And yes, this info is revealed in throwaway lines. If you listen closely, you can faintly make out the sound of someone screaming "FBI, OPEN UP!"

Granted, TDL was a teen at the time of writing this, so no big whoop on their part. Still doesn't make this any less creepy.

Oh yeah, and Damian fucking dies at the end except he doesn't because plot twist, bitch! We were reading a Steven Universe fanfiction the entire time! Ok, no, this is actually another Headcanon by TDL, but st this rate, between the Headcanons which anyone who doesn't know TDL would be confused by and the characters acting weirdly, I am honestly having trouble saying for sure if this fic takes place in the comic's setting, or in some type of AU.

For brevity's sake, I'll just go over the last two chapters. Tldr, Damian is fine, Lucifer gets Kayla expelled, Kayla get tortured, Lucifer is super happy with himself, and everyone lives happily ever after.

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If I had to sum up my feelings on this story, the first half for me is a mixed bag. It has its' glaring problems, but the humor and writing style make the fic endearing and enjoyable. If the story ended at "the Date ", I would have thoroughly enjoyed it. But then everything just kind of falls off the rails. Stuff happens because... well I guess just because. We get an unintentionally creepy ending to an otherwise wholesome trip, and the Headcanons included here are put in so randomly with no explanation that I can only imagine what someone who didn't have any context to them would say.

The thing is, I think that this fic actually gives a good example of a lot of problems beginners have. I'm certain that TDL nowadays could write a better story, and they certainly have potential. Hell, if one were to fix a few things in here, this fic would be a lot better.

Still, I hope that this review gives you at least a couple ideas of what to look for in some of your own stories. Also, feel free to tell me what you think.

I apologize for wasting your time.

- ATOUN

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 1D Fanworks Appreciation Day!

I want to thank all the amazing authors and artists who make this fandom as special as it is.

Here are all the fics I read and loved this month: (this is going to be looong)

I don't want a taste (I want it all) || thedaggerrose (blessedfetish) || "Fuck me yourself you coward" AU - college - crack - humour - 3k

The AU where Harry tells Louis to go fuck himself, Louis tells Harry to fuck him himself, and Harry follows through.

Always || JamieJam93 || amnesia - references of past depression - 85k

Thousands, if not millions, of fans had been right. Harry and Louis had been in love and together for four whole years. They were 'the dream team'; the couple that made others sick while simultaneously envious.

But thousands of fans had been right about something else too. The pressure had been too much. The fame had been too much. The closet had been too much, and, four years after the pair swore to each other that nothing could break them on the night of their first kiss in 2010, they broke up.

Fast forward to 2018, on the night of One Direction's last ever concert, and Harry has yet to move on. It's not as sad as it seems-he still lives his life and, for the most part, he's happy-but he knows that Louis was his one true love and is trying to prepare himself for a life completely without the other when an accident erases Louis's mind of all of his memories. In reliving the moments with him, trying to make him remember, Harry comes to find that maybe he never really forgot them at all and maybe, like him, he hadn't moved on either.

Enjoy The Ride || 2tiedships2 || a/b/o - strangers to lovers - road trips - fluff - 11k

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

Whisper The Wind || jacaranda_bloom || strangers to lovers - surfing - fluff - 36k

The one where Louis rides an elevator that may change his life forever, Harry loves the ocean but is a terrible surfer, Liam proves not all heroes wear capes, and Niall might actually have all the answers.

A kiss to build a dream on || noellehenry || Christmas - social media - pining - 17k

Harry has a brief encounter with a handsome stranger at the local Christmas Fair, the romantic kiss they share changes everything.

Harry is determined to find his Prince Charming and sets up a tumblr blog with help from his best friend Niall, owner of the locally famous Steamin' mugs.

Let the challenge begin!

Enter the Rose Garden || angelichl || a/b/o - friends to lovers - 10k

Soft heats make omega Louis clingy. Enter alpha Harry.

I been feeling high when I touch your body || Anonymous || gym - boxing- 17k

Harry is a boxer, Louis is an architect and Liam is the worst cupid that could ever exist.

The Pink Ghost of Princess Park || objectlesson || PWP - humour - sex toys - established relationship - light dom/sub - 7k

The thought of the vibrator does not go away. It’s sitting there collecting dust all through January, and every time Harry and Louis have to leave town for a press event or a show or to record or what have you, they come back home, and it’s still there, the Pink Ghost of Princess Park, the fucking glittery haunting that Harry cannot stop thinking of Louis stuffing up his arse.

Leave Your Mark On Me || FullOnLarrie || a/b/o - restaurant - mating bond - friends with benefits - enemies to friends to lovers - 32k

When Chef Harry Styles’ unbonded Omega designation threatens to derail his career, he does the only thing he can, and goes in search of a black market bond.

You Can't Change The Rolling Tide || LiveLaughLoveLarry || sailing - enemies to friends to lovers - childhood friends - friends to lovers - 25k

Louis lives on a tiny island off the coast of England and runs a sailboat touring company. When Niall is sidelined for the summer after his knee surgery, Louis needs a temporary new partner. Who better to fill that role than Harry, recently returned to the island after five years away? Louis is pretty sure there are plenty of better options. They don't get along until they do.

Take Care Down By The Water || shyserious || fantasy - magical realism - celtic mythology - fluff - angst - 37k

Louis has spent his summers at his Granny's in the Isle of Barra for almost as long as he could remember.

This summer wasn't supposed to be any different, but the little Scottish island turned out to be harbouring more than just the gorgeous white beaches, the clear waters, and the town drunk scaremongering the foreign tourists.

Pray Till I Go Blind || el_em_en_oh_pee || religion - religion kink - demon - homophobia - blasphemy - 19k

Louis is (kind of) a preacher. Harry is (probably) a demon. Of course, nothing's as simple as that.

This is not a love story.

Nocturne || rosegoldhl || fairy tale - fantasy - action/adventure - pining - 36k

Harry is a goblin living in the woods, entirely enthralled with a human named Louis.

I'm still learning to love || literato || minor character death - kid fic - pining - fluff - light angst - 74k

An au where Harry has almost everything in the world except for the will to move on.

Tell Me Your Secrets || dimpled_halo || For A Good Time Call AU - enemies to friends to lovers - dirty talk - phone sex - humour - fluff - angst - 17k

A For a Good Time Call au where Harry and Louis get off on the wrong foot when they first meet. When dire circumstances forces them to become roommates, Harry finds out some things about Louis that he doesn't expect will help him discover some things about himself.

We come in line || starsinoureyes || The Switch AU - mpreg - fertility clinic - 19k

Harry decides to have a baby on his own, Louis doesn't agree it's a good idea but lets him do it anyway. It took seven years and Harry getting artificially inseminated for them to find each other. Louis has a secret he didn't tell Harry and it might affect their family. Also featuring: a pre-pregnancy party, fertility clinics and pregnancy scares.

Sugar, butter, flour || EmmyLouWho || Nailed it! (TV) Fusion - reality tv - pining - 5k

Louis watches Harry start to pour icing onto his half-raw, still hot cookie, and tries to hold in his groan. He isn't sure if they’ve ever had a contestant on the show who tried so hard…and yet completely failed at every single step.

You can’t rig the show to help a contestant, he tells himself. Even if they’re adorable.

dopamine || Only_angel_28 || collge/university - meet-cute - social experiments - fluff - strangers to lovers - 7k

Louis honestly doesn’t know how he gets himself into these types of situations.

Well, actually, that’s a lie. He’s doing this because he needs the money, and because he’s curious. And, okay, maybe because he might be a little bit lonely too. He has always had what his mother affectionately calls an “adventurous spirit.” Couple that with being a (tragically single) broke grad student and voila! here he is scrawling his signature on a release form provided by the university’s sociology department. Essentially, he is agreeing to snog a stranger on camera for the sake of science.

Shouldn’t be a problem, right? All he has to do is lock lips with a (hopefully) fit bloke, collect his money, and be on his way. Easy peasy. Little does he know, fate has other plans for him in the form of one adorably quirky art student who goes by the name of Harry Styles.

Best kind of bad something || wildestdreams || established relationship - angst - fluff - ambiguous/ open ending 40- k

A NorCal AU where Louis is the town troublemaker and everyone hates him except for Harry.

What, like it's hard? || starkidpatronus || Legally Blond Fusion - girl direction - enemies to friends to lovers - enemies to lovers - humour - fluff - 25k

In which Harry goes to law school to win back her man, but gets a lot more than she bargained for.

Tell Me This Is Paradise || QuickedWeen || girl direction - smut - 5k

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

Your rainbow will come smiling through || hazkaban || Cinderella Story AU - minor character death - bullying - fairy tale retelling - 17k

When harry isn't working at his stepfather's cafe, he's trying to make swim captain and trying to finish all his coursework on time. when he's not doing any of those things, he's talking to the boy he met on the oxford hopefuls subreddit. when they decide to meet, he's elated. he finally gets the chance to meet the boy he's been crushing on! when the day comes to meet his prince, he learns that his online crush is none other than louis tomlinson, captain of the football team and friend of his terrible stepbrothers. now harry has to decide whether telling louis the truth is the right choice or if it's better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

From, your secret admirer || flicker_album || secret admirer - Valentine's Day - tumblr - mentions of anxiety - 13k

The one where Louis is Harry's Tumblr crush so he sends him secret admirer messages for Valentine's Day

Every Story Has Its Scars, Ours Is a Brand New Start || Rearviewdreamer || strangers to lovers - hurt/comfort - domestic violence - angst - dubious consent - implied mpreg - kid fic - 62k

Life as a devoted husband and an amazing father turned out to be a little different than Louis had expected. Everyone tells him it doesn't have to be that way; that he's worth more and that he's so much stronger than any one person trying to keep him down. It's all just words though until he meets the one person who makes him truly believe it.

The Pain Is For Pleasure || lovelarry10 || BDSM - established relationship - 67k

Louis and Harry have been together for a few months. Everything is great, but there’s one question burning in the back of Louis' mind - why won’t Harry have sex with him?

I Just Wanna Get Back to Us || louiesunshine || soulmate-identifying marks - angst - post-divorce - exes to friends to lovers - mutual pining - getting back together - slow burn - 62k

Or, where Harry and Louis are divorced soulmates who are seeing each other for the first time in two years.

Soup Of The Day || jacaranda_bloom || strangers to lovers - minor injury - hurt/comfort - 20k

The Restaurant AU where Louis and Niall are chefs, Chicago is windy, and cracking the big time is harder than they ever imagined. But when a mysterious man starts grading Louis' soups by leaving little piles of rocks, could it be just the thing they need to get them on the road to success?

Bleeding Love || momentofclarity || girl direction - enemies to lovers - famous/non-famous - 27k

Louis is an animal rights activist who throws red paint at fur coat wearing it-girl Harry Styles. Then there's a crack in the surface and something new starts bleeding through.

Oh, Darling My Heart's On Fire (For You) || aiienharry || girl direction - fluff - angst - 33k

Two girls fall in love on a road trip that was supposed to last a week and a half, but it ends up feeling like a lifetime.

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This || MrsStylinson || fake/pretend relationship - escort - angst - heartbreak - fluff - friends to lovers - 30k

Loosely based on The Wedding Date. Inspired by 27 Dresses. Basically, Fake Boyfriend AU with a twist. Louis' sister is unknowingly getting married to the ex who broke his heart. When faced with the prospect of turning up alone, Louis panics and hires a corporate escort named Harry. General chaos and epic jealousy ensues.

#28th appreciation #1d fanworks appreciation day #fic rec #my reads #my fic rec #monthly reads #1d fanfiction #larry fics