#I'm so freaking careful to not step on people in communities like this or make my problems out to be more than they are
Note
pssssst hey quick question on the dl - who is helena bartinelli??
i cannot answer anon questions on the dl, so answer on the up-high, which she deserves:
HUNTRESS
a.k.a. Helena Bertinelli, a.k.a. Gotham's coolest and most notable antihero, crossbow-wielder, and purple bat-associated vigilante.
Helena was born to an Italian mob family, but spent her childhood blissfully unaware of the family business--until her entire family was slaughtered in front of her when she was eight. She stayed with family overseas for the rest of her childhood, learning how to fight and protect herself.
She came back to Gotham for both vengeance and justice, and became one of Gotham's many vigilantes. Though her focus is on the mob, she'll step in to stop any crime.
She's also a schoolteacher! Good for her.
She is discerning in who she chooses to kill, but she does kill. As you can imagine, this put her at odds with Batman for a long time. Helena is pretty much the premiere example of Bruce trying to claim control over every vigilante in Gotham, no matter how little right he has. The argument on killing/ethics is valid, but his default was basically "do exactly what I say and fall in line under my command, or stop completely," which is why he's an asshole control freak and why I'm constantly mad about how she was treated 👍
She was an absolute mainstay of the Batfamily before Flashpoint (2011) and it is personally hurtful to me that people don't know her. (Like, to be frank? She had far more of a presence than Damian or (living) Jason in the post-crisis era.)
You could count on seeing her in any major Batfamily crossover, from Cataclysm to Battle for the Cowl.
She was central to the biggest Batfamily crossover ever, No Man's Land, where Gotham was locked off from the rest of the country and turned into a lawless wasteland. Bruce left to sulk for the first couple of months and in absence of any other vigilantes in the field (only Oracle having remained in the city), Helena donned the mantle of the Bat for herself to protect the city. And when Batman came back, in return for all she'd done, she got...yelled at, assigned impossible tasks and criticized for not achieving them, her costume stolen and given to someone else, lied to, abandoned in the face of impossible odds, and shot multiple times protecting kids. Absolute fucking hero, honestly.
She also was on the Justice League for a while, though admittedly I have barely touched that run. To my understanding, despite nominating her for the position, Bruce was also the one to revoke her membership there.
Fortunately! things improved!!
In the early/mid 2000s, Helena joined the Birds of Prey, Oracle's team, and found legit friendships and support there with teammates like Dinah Lance/Black Canary. She finally got more respect in the community, and had a much better time.
Additional relationships include:
A big sister/annoying little brother type thing with Tim, who may disapprove of her killing but simply likes making friends too much :)
A great relationship with Vic Sage/the Question
One single issue where she met Steph that presented SUCH interesting potential that I desperately wish had been followed up on
On and off romantic/sexual tension with Dick, depending on the writer, which culminated in a single hook up that apparently most people around here would rather pretend didn't happen, though I really don't think it's that bad
A complicated relationship with Barbara, partially due to clashing personalities and conflicting morals (with Babs being nearly as much of a control freak as Bruce), and partially due to a shared history with Dick because DC loves making women be catty
Surely others from her first solo or time on the JLA that I don't know well enough to list!
She's rad and determined and takes no shit but cares a lot, and I love her. We deserve more stories tying her teaching day job into her night work. We also deserve more stories with her in general.
If you would like additional Helena beyond just cruising my tag, I recommend:
Batman/Huntress: Cry for Blood - far more Huntress than Batman, this is a great 6-issue miniseries about Helena reckoning with her past, ft the Question.
Batman: No Man's Land - if you have the time for it, a big storyline but worth it.
Birds of Prey vol 1 (1999) - Helena starts to appear around issue #57 and becomes a central character from there.
328 notes
·
View notes
Text
Soul-Stitching: The Heir and the Guardian
Masterlist
Chapter 3: to remember and forget | AO3
CW: Panic attack, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of death
If Marinette can put it in simple words, the Justice League's prison doesn't look like a prison at all.
The neatly-done bed, a queen size perhaps, leans against a large headboard. There's a desk positioned at one corner with a rolling chair tucked into it; at the center sits a sofa set on top of a comfy rug. In the other corner, a narrow door leads to the bathroom. The room is well lit, the palette is quite friendly, and the golden accents speak of lavishness.
She barely caught onto what the Justice League discussed with the Parisian Government, but suddenly she found herself escorted into the Watchtower. Into space. If he had not already known where she was taken, Adrien would've freaked out.
Speaking of Adrien, her biggest inconvenience is her lack of direct communication with the others. She trusts that her second-in-command will take care of things while she's gone but if they do get into non-guardian-permitted trips, it's not her problem if they incur more expenses.
She looks down on the special handcuffs they put on her. Apparently, they are supposed to suppress powers, whether of the meta kind or the magical kind, but as soon as the metal hits her skin, she realizes that the cuffs don't do anything to her. Next, she stares up at the two heroes ordered to escort her. They stare back at her.
“Um . . .” The shorter one breaks silence, rubbing the back of his head, “You're not actually a bad person, are you?”
Marinette blinks. “What do you mean?”
“Are you actually Hawkmoth?”
“What difference does that make?” She asks. “If I say no, will you let me go?”
“I—um, no we can't but why didn't you insist that you're innocent?” The masked man asks, “With the right evidence you could've won, but you weren't saying anything. How do you not care about being imprisoned?”
“I'm not the only one falsely convicted because of the flawed justice system, you know,” says Marinette with practiced nonchalance. “The judge said I'm guilty, so I'm guilty. Nothing I can do about that.”
“But this is a serious crime. Terrorizing Paris? Causing widespread trauma?” This time, the taller leather jacket-clad one interjects.
“How is this any different from the situation of the ones wrongfully accused? Does that mean I deserve freedom and they don't?” She tips her head towards the room. “Ironic, how you're imprisoning me, a supposed ‘world threat’, in a luxurious room. If you ask the people in Paris, they'd probably tell you I deserve a death penalty, so this is actually a light punishment.”
The two seem to have difficulty replying to her words, until the shorter one sighs and tells her, “Still, keep in mind that you still have a chance. The members of the JL are still half-and-half about what to do with you. Some of them want to keep you here under close watch while you're serving your sentence. The others are pretty convinced you didn't do anything—they're having a pretty heated debate right now.”
“What do you guys think?”
“I dunno, really. You're weird,” says the tall one.
“Cool. I'll take that as a compliment.”
“As a detective, I'm taught to consider every clue first before I act,” says the other. “For now, I still can't say for sure.”
“Okay, that's reasonable.” She gives a flitting smile. “Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.”
She can tell they're feeling awkward based on their expressions and stances. She holds out a cuffed hand. “I'm Marinette, by the way. Nice meeting you both.”
Marinette nearly laughs at their astonishment. She's aware she's unexpectedly direct even though she's the criminal. The brightly-dressed man steps forward to shake her hand first. “I'm Superboy.”
And the other tentatively follows: “Nightwing.”
“Superboy. Nightwing.” She nods, finally stepping into the wide threshold of her room and activating the automatic barrier. “I like you both. Before you go, can I ask when I can eat?”
The two share a look before Nightwing replies. “Your meals will be delivered at set times. There's some kind of chute over there.”
“Thanks. See you around?”
---
Marinette easily falls into a rhythmic routine inside her ‘prison cell’. Though the bed is beyond comfortable, and the meals are filling, she finds that she has nothing to quell her boredom. So instead of walking around aimlessly, she decides to make use of the space to exercise. The other heroes don't seem bothered by this; in fact, in the first two days, rarely anyone stopped by her room. Later on, she wonders if she can request a sketchbook or two.
Finally, on the third day, she's taken out of her cell, bound into handcuffs again, and brought to what looks like an interrogation room. There is only one occupant—Superman—but the glass panel on one of the walls tells her otherwise.
She looks up and down at the hero, who gives a polite smile and motions for her to sit.
“I think you're already aware of the situation you're in?” Superman asks.
Marinette nods. If unfair treatment and injustice is her current situation then, yes, she is very well aware of that.
“I know there are things you cannot simply say in court.” His face is grim. “I was there the whole time. But you can tell me, and we'll see what we can do for you. It's safe here.”
Her eyes stray towards the glass panel, wordlessly saying, ‘Is this what you call safe?’
“Fine,” Superman sighs, “But can you at least elaborate on why you can't tell us. Is this a binding secret? Will you be harmed if you divulge anything or are there drastic consequences for it?”
“I'd say a little bit of all three.”
“Is there anything that will make you talk?”
She shakes her head. “By keeping silent on the matter, I'm not lying, but I'm not giving the full truth either. I can't tell you because this is what I think is the best course of action to protect you and many other people.”
“What do you mean?” he presses.
“You know about what happened to Paris, yes?”
“Hawkmoth and the akuma attacks . . .”
“Let's say Ladybug and Chat Noir decided to globally broadcast the existence of miraculi, magical jewels that can grant anyone immense power. What do you think will happen?”
“It will be chaos. Everyone would be fighting to get a miraculous for themselves.”
“A perfect example of why knowledge is dangerous.”
Superman looks like he's thinking it over; she can only predict that he's trying to guess what kind of knowledge she holds, and how far worse it is than the Paris situation.
“Fine,” he relents, “Can you at least tell us about Hawkmoth's reign?”
Marinette notes how he said Hawkmoth's reign, which leads her to inwardly ask if he's one of those who believes in her innocence.
“Why?”
“What?”
“Why do I owe you my trauma?” She makes her tone calm but her words impactful. “I've set my expectations for the Justice League, and now I can say that you've gone below it.”
“What are—”
“What gives you the right to persecute someone from Paris when you neglected our city when it mattered?” Her eyes narrow slightly. “Much less ask that someone for intel you can't be bothered to find yourself?”
It's already common knowledge for the Parisians: at one point, the young heroes had called on the JL for aid during Hawkmoth's time, but they were unanswered again and again. It’s just bemusing, how in the most urgent of times, they haven’t responded at all, but when a random girl is convicted of terrorism, suddenly they're all up in their feet.
The silence in the room is deafening, and Marinette can tell the onlookers outside are speechless as well.
Superman's voice is painted with deep regret. “I'm sorry. We’re trying to extend our help to the city, even if that doesn't make up for our mistake. We want to do that with you as well, but why do you want to be in prison?”
Partly, it's because she owes Paris that much. The city never found out who Hawkmoth was, so their anguish was directed at the heroes instead for keeping them in the dark. Then a year later, they find a girl fitting into the profile of their villain. If she's the convenient scapegoat they choose to blame, then so be it.
“I didn't go here on my own. You guys brought me here,” Marinette says pointedly.
“That's not what I meant.”
“You know I can't cooperate even if you try to convince me.” She looks at the window, even if she can only see her reflection. “I think it's best for you to spend your energy elsewhere.”
---
“That sign is flickering,” Adrien comments with a mouthful of burger in his mouth.
Eating double-decker burgers in a Batburger parking lot at nearly two in the morning certainly isn't their usual gig. But Adrien gathered from the reliable internet that the Batburgers are a must-try during a Gotham visit, so he decides to hunt for them. Kagami surreptitiously heard about his plans and wanted to tag along, as did Luka. Fei has to join to babysit them.
“Here, Gami, flip it upside down. The bun will absorb the sauce,” Luka suggests to the girl beside him, who has been attempting to bite down on her burger for a minute already.
“Seriously, we are being americanized,” quips Fei, who squeezes out some more ketchup on hers.
“Aw come on, it's a celebration for Adrien,” Luka says, “He did a good job in his defense attorney debut.”
The boy in question groans, pausing mid-bite to drop down his head on his free hand. “I did so badly! Even when I spent all night reading that textbook on French law and making my cute little badge. She was still proclaimed guilty!”
“We all know Marinette doesn't mind.” Fei picked up her soda from beside her to let Adrien have a sip. “You could've, you know, told her you'll be representing her. To get the trial running more smoothly.”
“I had it under control,” the blond insists, “It's just that they brought up the childhood issues card, which is a foul by the way, they basically breached her privacy. I'm still so mad about that!”
“If I could give my critique, I'd say you should've done a worse number on Rossi,” says Kagami.
“I couldn't. They would've kicked me out of that trial and disbarred me.”
“Adrien, you're not a real lawyer in the first place,” Luka reminds him.
“Whatever. That trial's done and we just have to think about what to do next.” Fei makes a face at the grease on her fingers and furiously rubs them into a napkin. “Marinette's aboard the Watchtower now, so we have to do our work down here—”
“Marinette's in the Watchtower?!”
“Yes, Adrien, the JL took her away, remember?”
“Do you think if I turn myself in for fraud, the JL will take me there too?”
“Adrien—”
“What if I say my father's the supervillain, do you think they'll take me? That earns me criminal points, right?”
Kagami delivers a light slap to his arm. “I thought we agreed that you would not joke about that.”
Adrien lets out a huff of defeat, focusing back on his burger. Just then a noise sounds out from above them—looking up, he sees that a vigilante has landed on top of the restaurant, partially cloaked by the night. The figure offers a friendly wave, which Fei snorts at.
“Did we do something?” Adrien whispers as he looks at his friends. “If this is about the camembert stash in our hotel room, I swear to kwamis, it's not me.”
“What does the infamous Red Robin want with us?” Fei yells up at the stranger.
“Oh good. You know me.” Red Robin drops down to a ledge, much closer so they can hear him.
“This is about Marinette, isn't it?” Luka guesses out loud.
The vigilante nods. “The Justice League is conducting its own investigation for her case. I was hoping to hear from you, since you four are her closest friends.”
“What's there to hear from us?” Adrien asks. “I already gave my statements to the court.”
“Before you ask us, we knew nothing about her involvement with the Butterfly miraculous before the whole thing blew up,” Fei supplies firmly.
Red Robin taps his fingers on his leg. Adrien wishes he can see him better, because he's pretty sure the Gothamite is buzzing with eagerness. Entertainment. “This isn't a formal interrogation so I call your bullshit. You're obviously lying.”
“Even if we are, you don't have the evidence for that claim.” Adrien licks the sauce that has gathered on his thumb. “The police already asked us. They got nothing from us.”
“But aren't you concerned that your friend just got thrown into jail?”
Ah. All the while, they've been munching on fast food in a deserted parking lot. Adrien can tell there's something wrong with that picture.
Kagami smiles wryly. “Marinette assured us she'll be fine before she was arrested. Unless the Justice League has turned inhumane and is currently torturing her?”
“No—no, of course not! A handful of the heroes want to prove her innocence, in fact. Don't you want to help out?”
“Even if we do want to fight for her freedom,” Fei replies, “Are you insinuating that we try to break her out of space prison?”
And Luka adds, “Marinette's very stubborn if you haven't seen yourself already. We can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped.”
“Any idea why she's like that?”
The four of them simultaneously shrug.
“So your lips are sealed like hers. Got it.” Red Robin sighs. “Why are you in Gotham?”
“Oh? Did tourists need clearance from the Bats before vacationing in Gotham?” Adrien quips, raising an eyebrow.
“No, I thought you'll be in Paris. Imagine my surprise tracking you down here.”
Fei crosses her arms. “Marinette's trial opened up fresh wounds in that city. Of course anyone would want to escape for a short while.”
“You're not from Paris.”
“I was close enough to Marinette to understand what it was like. I'm from Shanghai, which Hawkmoth also targeted once, in case you haven't done your research.”
“You're having a getaway in Gotham, though. Why in Gotham?”
“Why does that matter?” Adrien rakes a hand through his hair. “If you're concerned about our safety here, don't be. We have experience beating up akumas while half-awake.”
“Actually we wanted to see what's so great about Gotham that Batman chose to neglect Paris all this time,” says Kagami casually.
That seems to have struck a nerve. “We didn't know—!”
“You ignored a city crying for help,” Fei says, “Sorry birdy, but this is a touchy subject if you ask all Parisians. They may have given Marinette to the JL, but everyone still holds a grudge. It's not just us.”
Later on, they finally chase off the talkative bird, but Adrien has grown quiet. While the burger did lift his mood a little, Red Robin's appearance has soured it again. He angrily sips on the last of Fei's drink (which he promises to replace at another time), leaning against one hand on the pavement.
“The nerve of them,” he mutters. “Now I don't want to stay in Gotham anymore. Let's go back to base.”
---
Damian's heart is practically leaping out of his chest. The incidents in Paris and the convicted girl are all the talk in the Wayne manor. At first, he had no mind of looking into it himself until he saw a picture of her.
Before he knows it, he's suited up, headed towards the Zeta tubes and the Watchtower, breathless but persistent. He knows that face from his dreams. He has memorized that girl in his memories. If there is a chance she's alive after all, he doesn't care how; he just needs to confirm it with his own eyes.
Finally he's there and he sees her sitting on the foot of the bed. Her blue eyes widen when they meet his, and she presses herself against the wall when he subconsciously opens up the barrier himself. That's when it dawns on Damian that it is her, it's Marie in the flesh, the girl he killed when he was a child. Overwhelmed with the tightness in his chest, he drops on the ground, trembling.
“Hey, are you okay? What's going on?”
He feels her presence nearby but her voice seems warped, like he's hearing her underwater. He tries to blink his eyes back into focus, only to be met with a hazy double vision. Hot tears run down the sides of his face; he doesn't notice the hands holding onto his arms.
“You—you . . .I don't—” he chokes out.
The voice is closer now. “Stay with me, okay? You're going to be okay. Come on, deep breaths.”
Damian cannot even control himself, which is such a foreign feeling. His body is wracked with sobs as he holds onto her tightly in the fear she'll disappear before him again. He can't form coherent words, nor stop the shaky cries from his throat. It's as if all the grief he's bottled up in his childhood is coming out all at once.
She slowly shushes him. “It's okay. I'm going to touch your back now, is that okay?”
He nods against her shoulder, hearing his heartbeat become less erratic. A small hand presses against his suit and rubs circles on it. He starts to savor the warmth—
“What are you doing?!”
He's suddenly separated from that warmth, but he can't register what's happening. He can hear loud yelling and footsteps rushing, and from the corner of his eye, he catches the movement of his father's cape. Damian whimpers, clutching his head.
“I don't know! He suddenly came in and—”
I needed to see her!
“You used magic on him!”
No, she didn’t harm me. I need to talk to her!
“No, I did not, he's having a panic attack—”
Stop, please—the words seem to dissolve on his lips.
“Stay away from my son!” Damian doesn't know how or when, but he's being carried away from the warmth, from her. His body struggles to break free, but he's forcefully held down. The tears come again, unstoppable as his whole body shakes.
←Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →
Fun Fact! The idea of Adrien being Marinette's defense lawyer came from a joke between him and Kagami. If you ask Luka, he'll say he had no part in it. They carefully kept the secret from Fei and Marinette until the day of the trial . . . for obvious reasons
Taglist: @noisydreamlandkoala
#tw child abuse#tw suicide#maribat fanfic#dc x mlb#mlb x dc#maribat#maribat fic#daminette#marinette dupain cheng x damian wayne#tw blood#ggomoz#maribat damian wayne#maribat marinette dupain cheng#SS:H&G#tw panic attack
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
How would slashers react if someone called their s/o 'a freak' for dating them?(sorry if that's already been asked, I'm new here)
A patient at St Louis called you a freak and the slasher patients don't take kindly to their behavior. Enjoy. 😉
Pennywise : "You messed with the wrong girl/guy, buddy.."
He would firstly kick the living crap out of whoever dared insult you and even take a bite while he's at it.
He would also take them on a one-way trip to glowing orbs land.
He would then turn to you to make sure you're okay and reassure you.
Pennywise : "There's nothing wrong with you, doll face..That guy was a jerk, nothing more.."
He would then smile at you and take your hand, holding it if you need it.
"As long as you'll live, I'll be yours.."
Penny : "Freak ? That's not a nice thing to say now, is it ?"
Penny doesn’t tolerate rudeness.
He would make sure the guy who insulted you would keep having nightmares for weeks afterwards, until he would come apologise himself.
But, most likely, he would gobble down the human, call it "community service". 😌
Afterwards, he would hug you and nuzzle your neck and make sure that you’re alright.
Penny *brings you everything that makes you happy usually* : "TADA ! Do you want anything else ? Tell me. I’d do everything for you. Just, say it and it’s yours !"
Jade is not particularly strong physically, but she is a computer genius.
They just signed their social death.
Jade will make sure to destroy them on every single social media they own and pirate their most private pictures and texts.
She would expose how much of a terrible human being they are, digging into their worst secrets to use them against the person who offended you.
The person will be friendless and will have a set of people throwing cans and other things at his door.
Jade would destroy their social life. Literally.
Jade *smiles to you* : "Don't worry, hon'..They won't be bothering you again."
Here we go again.
Five would pretend not to care at first, but would very nonchalantly take the first sharp object he can find and hide it for future purposes.
Let's say, the man/woman wouldn't bother you ever again.
Five *smirks when he sees them and gets out his axe* : "You and I are going to have a little chat. And, when we're finished ? You are going to apologize to Y/N."
First off, the person who called you a freak must be very stupid for doing it in front of Michael.
Michael would glare at them at first, making sure to tell them to scram and comfort you afterwards.
But, if the incident happened again ?
Myers would take over.
Michael is the voice of reason, Myers is the voice of war.
Myers would break their arm or chop off their tongue.
Myers would kill them, or make sure they wish they were..
Michael Myers isn't merciful.
Hurt someone he cares about ? And there won't even be a body to bury.
Freak ?
Brahms looked at you and saw you were upset at the word and then glared at the person who had just insulted you.
He took a couple of steps forward and, unexpectedly, took the man's head and smashed it against the wall, making the man/woman scream in pain as blood dripped down their nose and chin.
He then let them sink to the floor and turned towards you, taking your hand and walking away from the wailing human being as if nothing happened.
Brahms is not usually so violent, but he will not allow anyone to make his S/O upset.
"Freak ? Now, that's not a very nice thing to say."
He would try to reason with them at first, hiding his true intents behind a smile.
But, once the lights are out and everyone is asleep ?
This is when Norman puts his plan into motion.
The garbage truck comes by at 6 am and he didn't want to wake you or any of the other residents with the screams.
He would have to kill them in their sleep and put a pillow over their head for any noises they may make.
He would have to be quick.
The next morning :
You *look around for the man who had offended you* : "Norman..Where is the man who was here yesterday ?"
Norman *smiles innocently at you while wiping his hands in a rag* : "Who, dear ?"
Freddy would smirk, not because he finds you being insulted amusing, but because he is already imagining all the things he will do to the bastard who dared call you a freak.
Freddy : "A freak, you say ? Well..You know what makes the 'freak' smarter than you ? No ? Tonight, they'll be lying safe and sound next to an immortal being who will make their dreams come true. And you ? You will spend the rest of yours being haunted by him. So, sweet dreams, bitch. Let's see if you'll wake up tomorrow morning, heh ?"
Let's say, the offensive man/woman would have months of bruises, cuts and night terrors.
Their screams filling the hospital at night for months and at the end, everyone would get the message.
Nobody messes with Freddy's special person.
Jason had to restrain himself from tearing the spine right out of the other patient's back when he heard him insult you.
He balled his knuckles into fists and, after a moment, decided it was too much and punched the person three times in the face before the hospital's guards ran in to stop him.
Jason *grunts and tries to throw another punch at the person*
Once he begins, it is impossible to stop Jason and even though his right knuckles were already covered in blood, his instincts were all agreeing that the person needed to die.
Fortunately, you were the only person who could soothe him.
You held his face and gently forced him to look at you in the eyes.
You : "It's okay, Jason. I'm not upset anymore. They got the message.."
And as if to emphasize your point, you turned towards the person who had insulted you and punched him too.
You : "JASON IS AMAZING AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF ! I'M LUCKY TO BE WITH HIM AND IF YOU THINK IT MAKES ME A FREAK ?! THEN, FINE ! I'M A FREAK AND PROUD TO BE !"
It succeeded in calming Jason a little and the guards led him away, you following close after them.
"Mind repeating that for me ? I think I didn't quite hear you the first time."
Arthur wouldn't hesitate before getting out his gun and shooting anyone dead for any disrespect towards his S/O.
This is why you tend to make sure things don't escalate.
You wrapped your arms around him and kissed the back of his neck.
"It's okay, Arthur..They didn't mean it, right ?"
You addressed the man a firm look, clearly telling him that he should be quick and apologize.
Things could then go either way:
1) He apologized and you all went on your merry way.
2) He is an idiot and you had to take your lover's gun and shoot him instead.
Even if you are more merciful than Joker, you still know how to kill and wouldn't hesitate if necessary.
Being Joker's S/O means sacrifices, one of them being the reconsideration of your moral standards.
#fandoms#imagine#fanfic#pennywise 1990#pennywise 2017#pennywise x reader#pennywise 1990 x y/n x pennywise 2017#michael myers x reader#brahms heelsire x reader#jason voorhees x reader#freddy krueger x reader#norman bates x reader#five hargreeves x reader#arthur fleck x reader#the horde x reader#jade split#slashers au#slashers
740 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi love if you don’t mind can you go in more detail about the time you entered the void and manifested your job? what was your mindset like before you entered? what do you think helped you enter? i’m in my 20s as well and really want to at least get my dream job first of all things and then i feel like i could finally relax you know? :( so your help would be greatly appreciated🥹
also i think your followers are really nice and mature so when i do tap in, i wouldn’t mind affirming (everyone who likes my success story and has good intentions will enter roe)
sure! let's see if I can remember as many details as possible— it was a couple days after I had my job interview, I had already been affirmin' my ass off that that job was mine and no one could take it from me— on this particular day, I think it was a Sunday. the lady who interviewed me said I would get my answer on the followin' Wednesday, and god that stressed me out, but I still kept affirmin'. on that day, I felt an extreme sense of drowsiness and so I had went to try and sleep in my bed. I already knew about SATs and whatever so I thought I could just affirm as I go to sleep, which I did. I was 'asleep' but I was still repeating my affirmations over and over, only focusin' on them while I was physically tossing and turning. Since I was tryna sleep, my eyes were already closed and it was silent in my room so ig I just didn't care about my surroundings. I do, however, remember that at some point I was affirmin' and was fully aware of my affirmations but then somethin' changed inside me and I was like 'Its done, nothing more for me to do, I don't wanna stress over this anymore. I can't sleep so, might as well just go back downstairs.' Then I opened my eyes and got up, feeling my stress about everything completely gone.
I went downstairs, right as my ma sat down after gettin' a package off the porch and that's when she gave me my new phone. (I still live with my family, yes, but only bc california is a dirt bag ofc) And I kid ya not, a couple minutes after I opened up the box with my new phone in it, I got a congratulations email from the lady who interviewed me, as well as the offer letter on my old phone. I freaked out afterwards bc I was like, ain't no way??? She said she'd send me somethin' on WEDNESDAY?? It's SUNDAY. I even told my ma and she was excited, then I was like-- I really manifested this??? After an entire year of being unemployed despite havin' my degree, and forcin' myself to work at Amazon and FedEx just to have a lil' change to call my own... I finally scored the job I WANT.
The best advice I could give you tbh is that ya should make robotic affirmin', the list method, and the ten minute method yer best friend. I did not have a good outlook on employment until I settled down and decided to change my thinkin' and god I was still stressed as fuck even when I affirmin'. I've never been good at talkin' to strangers, especially on the phone or on video call, but I affirmed right up until the interview started that the job would be mine no matter what and I was completely calm. Now, I am a step closer to my dream job. (I'm a substitute teacher currently workin' towards my credentials to be a full-time teacher in case ya were wonderin', the company I work for also provides grants to pay for the schooling needed to get credentialed which is such a big fuckin' bonus)
and yes, they definitely all are amazin' people, I never expected to have such a positive lil' community of followers but I am grateful to them, for sure.
bUt, okay, lemme stop ramblin' here's what I wantcha to do anonnie— I want ya to make yerself a list, title it whatever ya want to call the list, and fill that list with affirmations, askformations, statements, new beliefs, whatever ya want. could include anything ya want, details about the job ya want, how much money ya wanna make, how ya want the bosses to treat ya, what kinda work environment ya want, whatever, and then I want ya to include some self-concept affirmations, as well as some affirmations about the void (whatever feels natural for you), ah and some manifestation affirmations too. make it however long or short ya want, doesn't matter. once ya have that, read it over as many times as ya want and then throughout the day, whenever ya can, I want ya to robotically affirm that you've got everything on [name of yer list], say this whenever ya can, and especially when ya start thinkin' negative about whatever you desire or whenever ya feel like you're about spiral. affirm this through everything and anything, affirm if ya can't help but cry, affirm when yer angry, affirm when yer happy, just keep affirmin.'
as long as ya keep this up and correct yer thoughts, you'll have guaranteed movement in yer life, that's the law. even in false hope, whatever is repeated shall harden into fact.
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
I don't like it when the character's headcanon autism is made into an absolute.
I have a friend who is autistic and he has a very difficult time in this life. Being friends with an autistic person doesn't sound like a fun meme from the internet.
But character fans pretend that being autistic is the best thing that ever happened in a character's life. People are willing to make their loved ones autistic to justify them. Or they're willing to say that a quiet character with communication problems is actually autistic. It's annoying. I have big communication problems and don't like interacting with people because of bullying in the past. Does that make me autistic? For example, they call Ruby autistic. Ruby has some communication problems and don't want to make friends in v1 but it's not autism. It's normal human behavior in unfamiliar environments. Penny isn't autistic either. She is very energetic and active. She wants to make friends. She has no experience in life and is a freaking robot. How do robots have autism?
Hey I can say that Adam is autistic and that's why he killed people. He's autistic and according to fandom, anything can be forgiven for being autistic.
I'm going to conclude from the fact that you played the "I have an autistic friend" card and the contents of the third paragraph that you are not yourself autistic. So, from one non-autistic person to another:
Step back.
There are three main things your ask is doing that I want to make sure you recognize. If you recognize them and don't care, then this will never go anywhere. Otherwise, I hope this sparks some self-reflection.
You, a non-autistic person, are policing what autistic people can and cannot do in fandom.
You are conflating people critiquing or analyzing writing decisions with people defending a headcanon.
You're framing a personal frustration as a greater problem with the fandom.
The reason you gave for point 1 is this: "I have a friend who is autistic and he has a very difficult time in this life. Being friends with an autistic person doesn't sound like a fun meme from the internet." In other words, you looked at autistic people headcanoning a fictional character as autistic for fun and/or comfort, looked at a friend of yours, and then decided based on your experience as that person's friend that those autistic people on the internet are not allowed to have that headcanon because…I actually can’t figure out the exact reasoning you have here.
What does “being friends with an autistic person” have to do with headcanoning a character as autistic? What does not sounding “like a fun meme from the internet” mean in concrete terms? Are you trying to say that because an autistic person you know is facing struggles, all depictions and personal interpretations of autism in media must fit the mold of those struggles? Genuinely, I cannot understand the point you are trying to make by bringing up your autistic friend.
But if you want to bring him up, let’s engage with that action. You've used your autistic friend as a shield. You've said that he has "a very difficult time in this life." If that's the case, then I hope that things get easier for him. But before you plant his existence between yourself and criticism of your opinions, consider what you're actually doing. Have you ever asked him his opinions on autistic representation in media directly, or have you only ever used him as an excuse to invalidate the the myriad of autistic people expressing opinions you disagree with? Even if he dislikes or disagrees with what another autistic person thinks, that still doesn’t give you carte blanche to bring him up to invalidate other people’s opinions. People within a subgroup disagree all the time.
As for point 2, there is overlap between critiquing the writing decisions and defending a headcanon, yes, but the distinction is important when it comes to recognizing when someone is defending their headcanon and when they are pointing out a negligent-at-best flaw in the writers' material. A lot of what you've interpreted as defending a headcanon (I presume in the RWDE tag, since that's where it crops up the most because of hostile anons, and I have read nearly all of those posts) is actually the former.
Point 3. If you say "I don't headcanon that Ironwood is autistic," very very few people are going to argue with you on that. If you say, "I don't believe Ironwood is autistic-coded," then many people are going to push back on that with evidence. What's the difference? The former is personal preference. The latter is a debate position. If you have read the many essays put forth in the RWDE community explaining how the writers - intentionally or not - coded Ironwood as neurodivergent and still believe that both of those first two statements are identical in purpose and impact, then we cannot have a reasonable discussion.
I want to take a while to address the third paragraph because it is very revealing of your motivations. We’ll start from the beginning and work our way through to keep things comprehensive.
"But character fans pretend that being autistic is the best thing that ever happened in a character's life."
The phrasing here is already questionable - being autistic isn't something that "happens" in someone's life, it's an innate characteristic. To address the statement itself, though: who? Who is doing this? Who is genuinely headcanoning a character they love as autistic and then "pretending" that their headcanon is the best thing to happen to that character? You seem to be missing the fact that, a lot of the time, people headcanon their favorite characters as autistic because those real people are themselves autistic and can already see certain relatable behaviors displayed by the character. They often don't change aspects of the character - they add onto aspects already on display.
"People are willing to make their loved ones autistic to justify them. Or they're willing to say that a quiet character with communication problems is actually autistic. It's annoying."
"Loved ones" is typically used to refer to real-life people and particularly family, but judging by context I think you're still referring to fictional characters. What do you mean by "justify them"? Do you mean, "fans are willing to headcanon their favorite characters as autistic to explain those characters' behaviors"? Because yes, of course they are, that's part of how engaging with fictional characters works. And the next line? As an isolated statement it's just a statement of fact. Yes, people are willing to headcanon that a quiet character with communication problems is autistic because that is a common expression of autism. What's the harm in that?
I ask that rhetorical question knowing that your statement of "It's annoying" is a segue into the beating heart of your complaint: that you personally cannot see these characters as autistic. Because you are not autistic, all of these autistic headcanons are, on some level, attacks on you personally. These attacks are, somehow, erasing your non-autistic identity. Your example with yourself and your own communication problems, supplemented by bringing up Ruby, shows that you want to see yourself - a non-autistic individual - represented in the show. You want this, but when you see other people making autistic headcanons of characters you want to sympathize with (or otherwise cannot see as autistic), you seem to interpret those headcanons as impinging on your own. Erasing you.
You feel like you're on the defensive and so you treat the fandom as this all-encompassing hive-minded entity when that is not at all the case. The "they," the united fandom, that group hostile to you in your message does not exist in the way your cornered mind wants it to.
Headcanons are not a zero-sum game. Someone headcanoning a character as autistic doesn't mean you cannot headcanon them as something else. You are free to think that Penny is not autistic, that Ironwood is not autistic, and so on even if two hundred or ten thousand other people think that they are. That's your choice. If people having autistic headcanons for these characters is annoying to you, then block the blogs saying those things. Or, perhaps, acknowledge that you may have an opinion that differs from the majority of people around you and carry on. Fandom is a community but enjoyment is individual. If fandom is impinging on your enjoyment, disengage from fandom.
"...but it's not autism. It's normal human behavior in unfamiliar environments."
The idea of "normal human behavior" is spectacularly difficult to pin down. And just because something is common ("normal") doesn't mean that it cannot be a behavior shared by neurotypical and autistic individuals. One demonstrating some trait does not preclude the other doing the same.
Moving to Penny, you say the following: “Penny isn’t autistic either. She is very energetic and active. She wants to make friends.” Do you think that autistic people cannot share these traits? Do you think that all autistic people are lethargic loners? Do you hear yourself?
Your words again: “She…is a freaking robot. How do robots have autism?”
If I wanted to be snarky, my only response to this would be "There is this thing called implication" - but I'm making an effort, so I'll provide something marginally more involved.
Things in fiction do not have to have a 1:1 mapping to reality in order for people to find common ground with characters in that fiction. George Orwell’s Animal Farm is not derided as a meaningless story about farm animals being communists because people can see the reflections of actual society and real individuals superimposed onto those animals. If this figurative concept is still confusing to you, please research what fables and allegories are on your own time.
To even ask "How do robots have autism?" is to indicate a staggering lack of knowledge of how representation in media works. It's not my job to educate you, but less than two minutes of searching online brought up resources I can share: this paper exploring harmful autistic representation in media through music, this video discussing one of the most popular autistic robots (Data), and this video talking about representation more broadly (talk of autistic and autistic-coded characters starts at about 7:00). And for that last video, after you watch it, take what you said about Penny - "How do robots have autism?" - and apply it to the gems. Hopefully then you can see how absurd that question is. If you still need more material, do your own research.
Of course, there are multiple perspectives around autistic coding in fiction and I don't mean to say that any one perspective is "right." For some, autistic-coded characters often being depicted as nonhuman carries with it the dehumanizing implication that autistic people are "other" and/or that they are lacking something non-autistic people posses (which the aforementioned paper explores in depth). For others, seeing autistic-coded nonhuman characters existing, happy, comfortable with themselves, and/or still being treated with love by characters or the narrative can be a comfort. From my layman outsider perspective, it seems to come down to personal preference.
I want to circle back to point 1 to finish. I've been relatively polite in this response because I want to operate under the assumption that you're genuinely explaining your position and not trolling, but your message? Its implications? Incredibly impolite. Rude, overbearing, and overstepping, to say the least. It's not your responsibility - nor should it be - to decide what autistic character headcanons are and are not okay.
Depictions of autistic people as inherently violent, as dangerous, are too common. You, intentionally or negligently, reference these depictions with that last stray shot at Adam. What you’ve failed to heed is that these kinds of conversations require empathy, nuance, and the ability to listen and learn. The only ability you’ve demonstrated thus far is careless and callous disregard.
You looked at autistic people headcanoning characters as autistic based on overlapping experience and/or entertainment, said, “That’s annoying,” and then told them (even if only in the relative privacy of your own head and my inbox) to stop having fun. Moreover, you did it in an incredibly offensive way.
Stop, step back, learn, and do better.
#anon#unofficial adam answers#rwde#penny polendina#james ironwood#I paused god of war for this 🫠#autism in media#long post#unofficial adam analysis
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay hang on i am dissecting this in my head still and also a little bit with a friend on discord lol. but I think where i'm getting tripped up is that I'm not understanding the harm in any of this. who is it hurting exactly?
if it's hurting lesbians by muddying the definition of lesbian, WHY is that hurting lesbians?
(im going to put this under a cut because idk if anyone actually cares about all of this LMAO but i'm just trying to figure it out and if someone wants to chime in then they can read this and get back to me fdsjkl)
,,, okay we have to take a step back here to look at the big picture, stay with me fdsjkl. so. the queer community, as a whole, to my understanding (feel free to correct me if i'm wrong), exists so that anyone who is not strictly cishet+perisex+allosexual/alloromantic can have a community where they are safe and accepted and loved for who they are, even when the wider world does not accept us. we are all fags and freaks to the queerphobes who want to see us dead, etc etc.
so... why is there an issue with a label being muddied a bit? why is this hurting people? are we really that different that we need to keep our individual labels pristine like that? <- genuine questions (also this only applies to the queer community, do not try to draw comparisons to other communities because I am not talking about those and I do not think comparisons work here, but I suppose if you have something then let 'er rip and I'll let you know if I think its comparative at all)
the people identifying as mspec lesbians or lesboys or whatever else are obviously not cishet - I feel like if they were they'd just... not be labelling themselves this way - so why is it such an issue that they find community here? why are we trying to tell them they are wrong to make the labels fit their individual internal experience (that nobody other than themselves can fully see and understand)?
also i'm only speaking on this one label right now, I don't know what to think about other labels because those have other considerations to take into account (but maybe i'm missing some for this topic, lmk if i am lol)
again! all these questions i am asking are genuine questions, i'm not just putting question marks at the end to try to sound all hoity toity or anything LMAO I am genuinely puzzling this out right now and will gladly hear people out if they have insight or thoughts or anything !!! i am only one person (well. technically speaking anyways LMFAOOO) with this one brain with its one set of life experiences, so I could easily be missing something or not thinking of something!!
#should i tag these posts with something? if u want me to tag these lmk and i will but i doubt it'll come up again after this fdsjkl#i just want to figure this out finally bc its been confusing me for months fdsjkl#i am really really worried im sticking my foot in my mouth with this but i just... want to understand fdsjkl#and i dont think im ever going to understand unless i talk to other ppl so this is my one way to do that really#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'd be interested in your thoughts on the Hulk's greatest foe, Emil Blonsky/Abomination. He's always been a personal fave gamma character and it's a shame he tends to be seen as just an evil hulk, dude used to be more complex and tragic.
My favorite Blonsky comes from the Ultimate Destruction video game. His voice actor killed it in that game, terrifying as Blonsky but also managed to make you sympathize with him when you found out his reasons for doing what he did. His 616 origin of being a Russian agent feels terribly dated to me, and I'm disappointed no one seems interested in stepping up to revamp him.
Abomination works better for me as a character who starts out wanting to exploit the Hulk for his own benefit, whether that's to empower himself or to treat his dying wife. That way he becomes a classic case of "be careful what you wish for" where he gets the power, but is stuck as a monster. 616 Blonsky conceptually is lame to me, but the attempts at replacing him (Red Hulk, Immortal Abomination), haven't done anything for me either. He suffers from the "Zod" problem where people use him because he's the "evil Hulk", but they don't have anything deeper to say about him. Even killing Betty didn't do much to level him up as a character, and most people aren't even aware that he did that anymore.
Like the Superman Rogues, a lot of the Hulk Rogues need goals other than challenging Hulk to a fist fight. For Abomination that goal once was trying to find a way to switch between forms the way Bruce does. My direction for him would be to grant him that ability finally (I think we've wrung all the pathos we can out of him angsting over his inability to change back and forth). Next I'd return to an old bit of continuity. Once upon a time, Abomination actually protected a community of outcasts living in the New York City sewers called "the Abominations" in his honor. I would revive that concept, Blonsky builds a community for mutates like himself and Bruce, and he serves as their protector. The problem is that Abomination has no problem attacking others to take what his community needs, and doesn't care about hurting anyone outside his community, thus keeping him as an anti-villain rather than making him an anti-hero.
Finally I would bring his wife Nadia back. Now 616 Blonsky abused his wife, she hated him and wanted to kill him. Have Blonsky revive her using gamma so she becomes a gamma mutate too, and make them a dark reflection of Bruce and Betty. Bruce and Betty fight but ultimately love each other and that love unites them. Meanwhile Nadia hates Blonsky and keeps trying to kill him, while Blonsky is desperate to try and win her back. After reviving her as a mutate, she freaks out and escapes, periodically returning to target Abomination in revenge while he tries to track her down and force her to return with him. His community of outcasts and his wife, those are the two ongoing concerns for him that can help keep Abomination as an ongoing threat for the Hulk. You get some nice contrast with Hulk as the outcast drifter who never fits in anywhere, while Abomination has build himself a community. Meanwhile Hulk has a family that loves him, as weird and messed up as it is, while Abomiantion's family is fundamentally broken.
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
I don’t understand why people are upset. Curseforge isn’t paywalling is it, Its barely even TSR? You’re not going private on your patreon and you’re being upfront about why you’re still using the website, Not creating an alt and not a 500-subbed patreon sticking your hand in a second pot. Don’t let all these people virtue signaling get you down, everyone knows they’re full of shit hypocrites who probably couldn’t even manage “boycotting” mcdonalds or chick-fil-a LOL
Thanks for the support, nonny 💜
I'm gonna be real for a sec... once I see people boycotting & stop using the cc from littlemssam, turbodriver, lumpinou, srsly, twistedmexi, lot51, basemental, simrealist, pandasims, chingyu, lilbowbub, miiko, qicc, arethra, ah00b, greenllamas, dogsill, sentate, oakiyo, rusty, madlen, twistedcat, nws, and all the other huge & well-loved creators for still using cf... the ones actually making big bucks off the platform... then I'll take them seriously. But they're not, and we know why.
People on simblr can't even stop themselves from using, advertising, and paying cc creators that are doxxers and bigots. Because the virtual skirts are just too good to pass up. They talk a big talk and loooove to harass people (over anon only) but never once put their money where their mouth is. The creators that said nothing and ignored this subject will be rewarded when most people here forget about this within a week. And im gonna be honest, this is why I stopped caring about most issues here. Simblr is largely performative posturing to boost the ego and nothing else. A lot of people here cry and whine about issues in the community and then take no steps to solve them because they don't care about it really, they just want to join a good circlejerk to get their metaphorical rocks off. There's no real substance once you read between the lines.
I used to care about simblr, and... I still do, about my close mutuals and just having fun here. But the discourse and the "problems" people have just constantly turn me off and make me roll my eyes now. There's so much hypocrisy it's almost comical. Watching ppl tear one another apart over who is a "real activist" because they reblogged [x] amount of posts was like watching a Three Stooges skit. I can't be convinced that these people actually exist in the real world. I used to not understand people that called this shit "drama" and tried to avoid it, because it's not drama, it's important shit that deserves to be discussed- but now I realize it's because people here treat those subjects like drama. Like a reason to attack or one up someone, fuel for harassment for people they don't like, virtual points for their ego, etc. It's honestly disrespectful and embarrassing to those that truly care and deal with these issues.
I'm also gonna say, the only people that have come at me for this (on anon ofc) are obviously paywall simps because they keep mentioning paywallers/early access, which tells you enough about their motivations and what they really care about. It isn't the actual issues in the world bothering them, it's just an opportunity they can use to attack someone that didn't suck off their favorite scamming paywaller. And that's kinda sad to me honestly. Like how pathetic and trashy do you gotta be to compare these subjects in the first place? It honestly just makes me feel better about my choices here because none of it really feels like it matters to anyone with any sense. I felt uneasy about it, but now I feel more reassured that the only people acting like this are obvious freaks that never learned to integrate properly in society, you know? It's weirdly comforting lol.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Desert Planet - Leonard McCoy
My Masterlist
McCoy x gender-neutral reader, no usage of y/n
Hurt/comfort and angst :)
Word count: 3.8k
Warnings: Injury, heat exhaustion, mentions of death/reader brings up how they’re not going to make it
Summary: Reader goes on a mission on an alien planet and gets separated from the others during a terrible storm.
"Do you know how dangerous these freaks are?" Leonard hissed.
"I know exactly how dangerous they are. I know what I'm dealing with, I'm on the security team for a reason, for fuck's sake." I shot back.
"I don't care. You're not going."
"Oh, now you're trying to tell me what to do?" I suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway, whipping my head around and narrowing my eyes at him.
"It's dangerous and unnecessary." He said in defense.
"Fine, then. I'll just stay here like I always do! I may as well not even be on this fucking ship!" I growled, stalking off. I pressed the lift button with more force than necessary, glaring at him as the doors slid shut.
"It's a pretty desert-like planet." Kirk briefed me as we walked down the hall. "Not sure why they even want it."
"They're using it as some sort of foothold to get to somewhere else, I know that for sure."
"But where?" He sighed in frustration. Romulans were once again attempting to take control of the unforgiving planet we were about to beam down on. The Enterprise and its crew usually weren't the ones sent to deal with them, but we were the closest currently and, according to Starfleet, the situation was 'dire'. They were crawling all over the planet like ants.
“Is this many people really necessary?” I asked in concern. When we arrived at the transporter, several redshirts were already waiting for us.
The captain nodded grimly. “I have a feeling they’re not going to want to talk.”
“We’ll be beamin’ you down at a secluded place with not much traffic so you can get your bearings.” Scotty told us. I nodded unsurely, stepping onto the teleporter pad with the others.
I glanced around cautiously as we materialized on the planet’s surface.
“You weren’t kidding.” I snorted. “What could they even use in this place?”
“They detected strong signs of some kind of metal here, not one we’ve seen before, but they obviously have a use for it.”
“And probably not a good one.” I agreed. “What’s the plan, captain?”
“We talk with them.” He shrugged.
“And if that doesn’t work?”
“Then we blast our way out and call in for back up.” He grinned cheekily. I huffed, turning away and looking around.
“You’re going to need to be quick.” Sulu’s static voice crackled through the communications. “There’s a storm heading your way, you’ve got an hour, maybe two.”
“I thought you said it was clear?” Kirk asked into his pin, suddenly serious.
“It was. It appeared out of nowhere. Be careful.” The static turned back into silence.
“Damn. Alright, let’s get going.”
“Shit.” I muttered under my breath, looking to my mapping device. We had ended up ‘blasting our way out’, as Kirk had put it, and we had made it out fine. Not long after we left the area though, we ran into a patrolling group of Romulans. I had managed to get separated from the group during the fight, sustaining a nasty phaser shot to my side and losing any contact with the rest of the crew as the storm rapidly approached. My mapping device did nothing.
I now wandered through what appeared to be a sort of canyon, still glancing at the small screen from time to time in the small hope that it would begin to work again. Eyeing the dark, approaching clouds wearily, I wondered what kind of storms they had here. I had been told this planet had no form of water at all, so what exactly rained from these dark clouds? I didn’t want to stick around long enough to find out.
At least another hour had passed that I had wandered, and with the scorching heat, I grew thirstier and thirstier, sweat pouring down my neck. I stumbled on unsteady feet, most likely a sign of bloodloss. Blood trickled through my fingers as I pressed a hand to my side, leaning heavily against a large rock. I jumped as a crackle of lightning split the air.
“What the hell?” I muttered to myself. I stared at the sky a little longer, watching as another bright orange bolt of electricity lit the sky. My gut warned me to get out of this place, and get out now.
“Lieutenant to Enterprise.” I said into my comm. “Lieutenant to Enterprise.” I repeated. Nothing. Not even static.
I jumped when I heard an echoing crack and then the sound of something incredibly, dangerously large shifting. I looked up uncertainly before jumping back, an enormous boulder about three times my size falling right where I had been standing mere seconds ago. My eyes darted around as dozens more fell down into the giant trench I was in. The wind was howling, and it tore at my hair. I froze, my feet rooted to the ground in fear, before taking off at a sprint, running for the nearest cover I could see; even though that was several meters away.
I dodged several boulders, but I was still pelted by small, painful pebbles that were whipped up from the ground by the strong winds. I suddenly stumbled over a small boulder that must have been embedded in the ground for ages. My ankle wedged between the rock and the compacted ground, twisting it with a painful snap. I hit the ground hard, my head colliding violently with a mostly-buried rock and knocking me unconscious.
I awoke to a heavy feeling across my legs. I groaned, shifting my upper half slightly and slumping back into the ground. I struggled to keep from falling unconscious again, my head foggy and pounding. The weight across my legs only grew more and more uncomfortable as I laid there. It didn't take very long for it to become painful; then, agonizing. I shifted my upper half again, turning as much as I could to look at my legs. A strangled sound of horror and agony clawed its way up my throat at what I saw.
A small, but heavy, boulder rested across the backs of my legs, crushing them. One of my legs had been spared–at least partially-and was only pinned between the boulder and another. I could move it slightly, and it didn't hurt too bad–at least not compared to the other–so I could guess it wasn't quite broken. Fractured, maybe. The wind still howled around me, and small pebbles still rained down, but the crashes and cracks of the gigantic boulders had, fortunately, ceased.
I let out a quiet whine, struggling to free my leg. I sat up, a sharp pain making me gasp. I looked around bleary-eyed, realizing I was laying in a large pool of my own blood. It stained the sand around me a bright red. Somehow managing to keep upright, I placed my hands against the rock, pushing against it weakly. The pain intensified, and I fell back, panting. I tried again, sitting up and pushing against the boulder with even more force. It shifted ever so slightly, sending a lightning bolt of pain through my left, but giving me the tiniest bit of hope.
I braced my hands against it again, pushing it with everything I had in me. It rolled off of my leg, causing the bones to shift and a dizzying rush of pain to my head. I fell back, breathing and gasping unevenly and struggling to remain conscious. I groaned, tossing my head back and forth in an attempt to distract myself from the pain. My hands grasped the sand desperately.
A bolt of lightning followed by a distant crash made my head jerk up. I was suddenly reminded of my situation, the haze slowly clearing from my head. I struggled to scramble to my feet. I cried out as I tried to move my legs. I began to crawl towards a distant cave, my head hazy with agony. A bright crimson trail of my own blood stained the ground behind me, but it was quickly covered by the sand whipped up around my face and into my already dry mouth.
I gasped in relief when I made it into the shelter of the cave, flopping onto the ground. I was now painfully aware that every inch of my body that hadn't been sheltered by the boulder that crushed my legs, was badly bruised from being pelted by small rocks. I moaned in pain, rolling onto my back and staring up at the red tinted rock above me. My eyes threatened to close, and sweat poured from my burning, throbbing forehead. More of my blood poured down my side and onto the sand. I blearily wondered how much blood I had left in me. Probably not enough.
My eyes shot open when I heard talkimg coming from outside of the cave. I hastily braced myself on my elbows, listening. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it wasn't any human language. It was most likely Romulan, I figured.
A delayed rush of panic coursed through me at the realization, and my breathing quickened. I stayed as silent as I could, hoping they weren't coming in this direction. Luck wasn't on my side. I heard their voices slowly growing louder as they approached.
I shoved myself back into a further corner of the cave, slapping a hand over my mouth to muffle a whimper. I managed to wedge myself behind a large rock, curling into a defensive position. Fear coursed through my veins, but there was little I could do. It was all I could manage to stay conscious and fight back the growing feeling of nausea.
I heard their voices grow louder and louder. They were soon standing right in front of the cave, peering in. I squeezed my eyes shut and curled into myself more, trembling. My heart pounded in my ears until it almost drowned out the sound of the aliens' conversation. I listened intently as I heard their footsteps recede and the sound of their voices grow faint. My shallow, uneven breathing didn't even allow me a sigh of relief.
I wasn't sure how long I laid there, helplessly drifting in and out of consciousness. My entire body felt like it was burning up, but I had stopped sweating long ago. It confused my muddled brain. I was tugged back into consciousness by a faint, broken up voice. I struggled into a sitting position, as my eyes darted around in confusion. I could swear I just heard Jim's voice..
"Lieutenant? Are you there?" The light on my comm device blinked unsteadily.
"Yes. Yes I'm here." I gasped, fumbling with the button.
"Are you injured?" The captain asked.
"Yes."
"How bad? Anything serious?"
"I think..my leg is broke. Maybe both, I'm…I'm not sure." I wheezed. I fell back onto my side, the small device flying out of my hand and across the ground. I crawled towards it, small noises of pain escaping my throat. I clutched it in my hand, bringing it back to my face. The entire time, Jim had been speaking, though I hadn't heard a word of it.
"What?"
"I said it's going to be a while before we can get a lock on your location and beam you up." He repeated.
"How long?" I asked worriedly.
"The storm is still pretty bad," He began to explain.
"No it isn't. It's calm down here now." I argued.
"Maybe down there, but it isn't up here. The storm is too thick for our locators to go through."
"So how long?"
He hesitated. "It was pretty unpredictable before, you know how quick that storm rolled up on us; it's hard to give an estimate but..6, 7 hours at least. Think you can hold on that long?"
"I don't know." I said quietly. My heart dropped from my chest, and I laid limply on the ground, staring up at the rock above me. The comm fell from my hands, even as Kirk continued to speak. I didn't hear any of it.
All I knew was that I wouldn't be making it off of this planet alive.
And the last time I had spoken to McCoy was in the middle of an argument.
I released a shaky breath, my head light as I was suddenly aware of how hot I had become. My skin burned, and my insides felt like they were on broil. At the very least, the blood of the phaser wound had begun to clot, though my racing heart didn't help. I felt every bruise that littered my body. I spat out the sand in my mouth, even though there wasn't even any saliva in it. I moaned, rolling onto my side, my breathing shallow and uneven. It wasn't long before I slipped into the darkness again.
My eyes cracked open at the sound of footsteps, rock and gravel crunching beneath them. They were quiet but clumsy, unused to walking on such terrain. The footsteps came closer. I barely had the energy to curl even more into myself and the rock I hid behind, trembling. They stopped right outside of the cave, and I heard the faint noise of metallic equipment. The Romulans were back to finish me off. I took a shaky breath, as my panicked pants caused black dots to appear in my already blurred vision.
After the pause, the footsteps entered the cave. My breath hitched in my throat, on the verge of panic. I reached weakly for the phaser at my hip, sucking in a gasp of pain at the action. They stopped again, and I heard the metallic sound again before my own locator went off. I shrank back in surprise at the loud sound. Footsteps quickly walked over to the device that lied just on the other side of my rock. I held my breath.
They quickly rounded the rock I had behind, shoes coming into view. A choked cry escaped my throat and I scrambled back in a panic, unable to make out whether they were friend or foe. My body shook violently as I pressed my back against the cave wall. I blinked rapidly as they crouched beside me, a hand reaching for me. I flinched away, breath hitching in my throat.
I heard a familiar voice utter a string of swears before, "Calm down sweetheart."
I struggled to make out who it was–and where I had heard that voice before– but my body visibly sagged in relief that they were, at the very least, human. My eyes were still unable to focus, and they must have known that, because he gently cradled my face in his hands and brought his face down to mine.
"Len?" I croaked out. If I would have been able to, I would have tackled him in a hug, but I settled for bringing one of my hands up to weakly grip his.
"It's me darlin'. I'm here."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I repeated it over and over.
"Shhh, don't worry about it. Don't talk." He told me. When he began to pull away, I squeezed his hand as hard as I could, silently begging him to stay. He frowned, releasing my hand and turning to something I couldn't make out.
My eyes had shut involuntarily, but they fluttered open when I heard the familiar beeps and whirring of a tricorder. He glanced at me worriedly.
"I'm okay." I tiredly reassured him, beginning to drift off again. I was faintly aware of him pulling up the hem of my uniform to gain access to the phaser shot I had sustained. I gasped awake when I felt him put pressure on it.
"Stop." I gasped, clawing at his hands. His face was pained. "Please."
The next thing I felt was the cool barrel of a hypospray at my neck, before the pain lessened significantly. I felt his knuckles against my forehead, the frown on his face deepening. He turned away, bringing back another hypo out of his bag. I groaned in protest.
"I know darlin'. This should stop the bleeding and prevent any infection. Then I'll bandage you up." He explained calmly, though his voice was strained. I heard the soft sound of the hypo as he injected the second one. He began to clean the wound, then unwound a roll of bandages. He was gentle and precise as he wound them around my abdomen, keeping them in place with medical tape.
He pulled out a bottle of water, moving beside me and gently propping my head up in his lap. I drank the water down gratefully. He leaned down to brush his nose to mine, once again cradling my face in his hands. Even though my face burned with fever, I leaned into his warm hands contentedly.
He held me this way for a moment, before the faint sound of footsteps disturbed the howling of the wind.
"Shit." I felt him tense, automatically shifting over me protectively. I glanced up at him in confusion before I heard the footsteps, too. I immediately began to struggle in a panic. His arms held onto me tightly.
"Shhh." He shushed me. his voice barely above a whisper. I stilled, though I trembled against him. His hand gripped mine, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb in an attempt at comforting me. We listened in silence as the footsteps receded, breathing a sigh of relief once they were no longer audible.
"Breathe, sweetheart." He told me. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, my chest ached. He ducked down to speak into his comm.
"McCoy to Enterprise." Static. "McCoy to Enterprise." He repeated, sighing in frustration when there was no response.
"How are you doing?" He asked me, his voice worried.
"I don't know." I responded hoarsely. "It doesn't hurt anymore but I still feel horrible."
"I'm sorry sweetheart, I-" His apology was cut short as a voice crackled from his comm.
"Bones?" Jim's voice asked.
"How long before you can beam us up?" Leonard demanded.
"At least another five hours-"
"Five hours?" He hissed. "Jim-"
"Bones, I know. I'm sorry, I told you we wouldn't be able to get a lock on your location if you-" He turned the comm off with a frustrated huff, cutting the captain off.
"I can't." I mumbled quietly, dread, regret, and a million other things washing over me as my head drooped to the side.
"You can't what? Hey, hey don't do that. You can't what, darlin'?" His voice cracked at the end.
"I'm not going to make it." I mumbled.
"You will. We'll get you back and fix you right back up." He reassured me, his eyes not meeting mine.
"Len." I croaked, as his fingers went to my neck, checking my pulse. He had to readjust them several times before he felt something. It was faint.
"Leonard." I repeated. He stopped, his frantic gaze meeting mine.
"Stop. Please."
"No, you're going to make it." He argued.
"Just hold me. Please." I begged. I knew I wasn't going to make it long enough to be beamed aboard. This was it for me; but I could think of no better way to die than in his arms
"Don't talk like that." He demanded, but he obliged anyway, reclining back against the uncomfortable cave wall and pulling me against his chest. I was barely awake, but I pressed myself closer to him as his arms settled wrapped around me. I managed a shallow sigh as I relaxed into him, a comforting feeling of safety settling over me. My eyes fluttered shut, and I drifted off.
I moaned in protest at the insistent beeping, burrowing my head into the pillows to muffle it. Death wasn't supposed to be like this.
My eyes cracked open, the sterile, blinding lights of the medway causing my head to throb. I turned my head to the side when I heard a groan. Leonard was slumped over in a chair next to my bedside. He began to stir, his eyes tiredly flickering open for a second before they widened in surprise. They immediately darted over to the screen that displayed my vitals, before glancing over me.
"Hi." I mumbled, not sure what to say. He was silent, taking my hand in his and tracing my palm so carefully, as if I would break.
"I'm sorry." I began; now that I was awake and safely back on the Enterprise, he was probably furious with me.
"Don't." He said. "Don't start."
"Sorry." I apologized quietly, pulling my hand away to give him some space. I sucked in a shaky breath before bracing myself on my elbows. The pain was dulled, but still nearly unbearable. I choked back a sob.
He was immediately by my side, a hand on my chest to gently push me down. Sitting on the edge of the biobed, he sighed before starting. "We both have a lot to talk about, but for now, you need to recover. You don't need any more stress." He told me in his doctor voice. I shifted away from him uncomfortably.
"No, I want to talk about this now. I want you, I don't want this distance. I'm sorry, it was stupid. I told you I wouldn't go, but I did. The least I could have done was tell you."
"I know I'm too overbearing sometimes." I gave him a skeptical look and he raised his hands in defense. "Believe it or not, I do know."
"I know you worry, but it's my job, just like your job is to deal with deadly diseases sometimes."
"I know, but it's not the same thing." He sighed in frustration.
"Yeah, at least I can see my enemy." I tried to lighten the mood. He huffed a small laugh.
"I guess that's what I get for dating a redshirt." He said finally, a ghost of a smile on his face as he stood.
"Where are you going?"
"Nowhere darlin', nowhere."
#sorry this took so long oomfs#leonard mccoy#leonard mccoy x reader#leonard bones mccoy#bones mccoy#bones x reader#leonard mccoy hurt/comfort#x gender neutral reader#star trek x eader#star trek#star trek x gender neutral reader#star trek fanfiction#star trek original series#leonard mccoy angst#star trek angst#james kirk#scotty#beam me up scotty#lmao#feedback is appreciated :)#feedback feeds the writer#fanfic#hurt/comfort#ceo of hurt/comfort#angst
219 notes
·
View notes
Note
My ex is getting involved with a psycho. Let me just start off by saying I am not calling her that out of jealousy, I do not want to get back with him, ew. I will explain why I'm calling her that in a bit.
Due to some money issues I'm currently staying at a place that doesn't allow pets so my ex is caring for my cats for me and so I see him on the regular, which is how this effects me. Plus I'm the one he vents to when things go south which is how I know the things I do.
About a month ago he broke up with his girlfriend of four years because he snuck into her phone and found out that she had been sleeping with at least 3 other people for at least 9 months, and I say "at least" because in his words, he didn't take long to get to the point where he didn't want to investigate further. He went absolutely apeshit, got kicked out of two bars that night, assaulted people, broke the TV, etc. which, she'd been gaslighting him for months making him think he's crazy and paranoid when in reality things were actually worse than he believed. so I give him a pass on that I think he actually took it rather well considering everything.
He started getting into coke again once this "paranoia" started up and got really really close to the coke dealer. Who was a friend before but now… he's fucked her more than once and has spent consecutive nights at her house. He's not dating her, he keeps saying he can't date her, but he's getting involved. Maybe he's seeing this as a fuck buddy situation but I'm worried it's going to get to the point where she doesn't.
This is why I call her psycho. A few years back she turned on me and threatened me for fucking her over on a deal that I never made and didn't even know about until she called me demanding money. It turned out she was mixing me up with someone else but she never chilled about it. She stalks people and I know this because she bragged about it like it was nbd. And called me a shit friend when I refused to help her with it. When we were still married on more than one occasion she came banging on our door in the middle of the night freaking out over nonissues. A few years back when her boyfriend broke up with her she was talking to me and one of the other girls at the bar about making a pipe bomb and setting it off at his work to get him in trouble and I'm sorry there are some things you just don't joke about, and while my ex thinks it's nbd I know her well enough to know that's a joke until it's not.
My ex and I split for good reason but I do not want him to suffer. She is going to turn on him, there is no "if" about it, this is a "when" situation. I do have to give her credit she's a faithful girlfriend so in that regard he is taking a step up, but I'm worried what she will do when she inevitably turns on him. I don't want him to suffer and I absolutely do not want my cats to be endangered because his stupid decisions caused a volatile situation before I have a chance to get them back (and unfortunately the only other people that can take them in are 1000 miles away so not an option, and I'm not taking my babies to a shelter I do not trust them).
I don't know what to do…?
just as an fyi I have already brought all this up to him I literally called him stupid and crazy and his response was "yeah" so we already both know how I feel about this and both know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is a really bad idea.
I'm gonna throw this out to the community to see if they've got anything, and I'm not going to colour it with my thoughts so everyone can go in clean.
I'll do a thing with a response by itself I think
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
opinions?
What's really funny is that this person is attacking an early access creator for early access, for something they actually took time to make instead of going after paywall creators who are literally fucking stealing models and doing the bare minumum.
Make it make sense? The fucking double standards of this community man. Like...if early access creators get treated like this, it's no freaking wonder folks like leaf-motif and sixam went to paywalling. Why do the right thing and follow all the rules only to end up with your work stolen, redistributed, or mocked by people who don't understand the work you put in it? [This is by no means me excusing these people from making the choice to do the wrong thing, but I'm just saying...like if a community abuses people long enough it won't take much for them to consider abusing that community back...]
Like, the community can't be all "fuck paywallers" while treating the free and early access creators like machines who are just here to crank out cc for us to use and abuse. Like, that's not what these people are for. They are part of our community, and are important to support and uplift. Even if you cannot monetarily support these folks due to your situation, you can still send them a kind word, reblog their posts, share about them on social media, etc.
I just am kinda sick of the cycles of abuse I'm seeing in the community tbh. Like, EA convincing us that the game isn't playable without all this extra money and DLC and addons, which then makes it easier for paywalling creators to exploit that pavlovian-training and convince people that it's the same for CC. And those creators trying to justify it as well by saying "Well you're not giving your money to a money hungry corperation and instead giving it to a small creator!" as if they aren't using the same techniques the corperation is? And then other people seeing how easy it is to milk the CC money cow and deciding the fuck the community and just go straight to putting all of their content on patreon with paywalls.
Just from playing other games recently with healthier modding communities it just shows the absolute disconnect with reality.
So what can we do from here? I don't know but I think some simple steps would be:
1) Stop abusing and treating early access creators like trash. Don't share their shit before early access is over, don't complain about the wait times, and actually appreicate they're making things for you and doing the right thing.
2) Realize that your game is your game, and you don't have to compare yourself to or compete with fucking anyone. At the end of the day, in 10 years it's not going to matter that you had a piece of CC that almost nobody else had because it was ~*~exclusive~*~ or that you had a perfectly blender rendered story on your simstagram. But what is going to matter is your mental health, which is gonna take a toll if you start engaging in the toxic behavior of comparing yourself to others or competing with others because you think they "play the game" better than you, causing you to buy things you don't need from people set on abusing the community. Nobody plays the game better than you because we each play the game differently.
3) Surround yourself with people and creators who emphasize community over content. Be around creators who care about the community and give back to it and are decent humans vs people who are cranking out "content" and trying to be a "brand". Because again, in 10 years you might not even be playing the sims 4 anymore, but you might still have friends from the community that you made. I don't actively play the sims anymore but I still have sims 4 friends who check up on me and ask how I'm doing. And I suspect I'll have many of them as friends for years to come.
4) Don't be afraid to call a spade a spade and highlight people who aren't acting in the best interest of the community. Like, I get that people enjoy my blog because I do this and that people have loved following @littleblackbooksims for that reason too, but like, if we ALL took part a little bit in this, then perhaps I and others wouldn't have to shout so loud. Because IDK about you but I'd sure as heck love to not have to post so much about abusive paywallers and be able to post more turtle pictures.
Anyway, I hope that's enough "thoughts" for ya on this ask.
~Sunny
#ask#paywalling sucks#sims 4#sims4cc#sims4#sims4alpha#sims 4 cc#sims4mm#paywalls suck#sims4maxismatch#the sims 4#ts4
33 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi :)
I wanted to ask you what you'd do in my situation. Last year I started working while also studying engineering in college. It turns out that I was quickly burnt out and started doing a shitty job both at my uni classes and at my job, which I hated because I'm a perfectionist. I failed many classes and unfortunately the kind of career I want requires a degree, and this year I thought the wisest thing to do is leave my job. The decision has been made and my parents are open to support me, but I'm scared. I got so used to my financial freedom and now I'm not only scared about my finances but also other areas of my life, I'm freaking out 😭 my boyfriend and I are in a LDR and my parents will never give me money to visit him lol and like I know he could visit me but that is making me feel so guilty, like it's unfair and I wouldn't be bringing anything to the table. I'm seriously freaking out. This is the kind of situation in which most people in the community would say that "circumstances don't matter" but ugh, they matter so much to me right now. I'm feeling like I want to isolate :( but I also like... really need to quit the job and endure anything that happens until I graduate. This is making me hate uni so much :((( I'm even worrying about sunscreen, that sh** is so expensive
hello <3
so much of your frustration is coming from this need to control, this need to see how everything works out right now. but everything is going to work out, and this is the moment where you let go and relax into all of those uncomfortable feelings of the unknown and let it be as such, knowing that it all works it outself out. so i guess, in other words, i would focus my energy on relaxing into the unknown tbh. what else is there to do ? worrying so much isn't solving your problems. and you could be putting your energy into love. like, making comments such as you would feel bad if your own bf came to see you and you bring nothing to the table ?........... does he only love you because what you can produce in this world ? or does he love you for being yourself ? i think that, he would be understanding of your situation and that wouldn't be an excuse to stop you from being together. and that you could spend more time realizing existing is your right to be loved, and to be taken care of. not only by him, but by this entire world. by god. yourself.
and i get it, because i couldnt keep saying "circumstances dont matter" after a certain part, not the way its said anyway. circumstances dont matter in that way that, this moment, this phase in life is fleeting and it's not your forever. so i would honestly focus on what i want to, doing what i can to make it through this less desirable time. it matters, because you feel it inside yourself but, it's not your end. it's not your forever, so remember that. i understand your battle right now so much, but i promise you things always work out. even if it doesnt seem like they are, they always are. so this is your chance to take the opportunity life is presenting you, to take a step back, let go of control, and trust in what's happening next. you're choosing to put your education first, and there's a lot of good in that. embrace putting yourself first here, and allow all those ideas of problems to fall away, becoming what they may in the meantime. it's simply not your job to grasp on so hard here. that only makes it more painful. i truly believe that life presents these moments to us, to give us an opportunity to trust in true love (taking care of all areas of your life, the god within who carries you through it all) and stop being controlled by fears.
anyway, i hope this is helpful and makes sense <3 im rooting for u dear anon ! xo
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! so me and my partner are moving in together next week and i've been really excited since we made the plans but now i'm getting nervous. i guess since it's my first time living away from home except college and we were long distance for a while but ik everything will be okay once we get there and i definitely need out of my parents house but i guess i'm afraid to talk to anyone about this cuz idrk why i'm starting to freak out
hi hello anon dear!! ah, that makes a lot of sense - both the excitement and the nerves! change can be scary, no matter the form it comes in (good, bad, or something in between!) and it's absolutely understandable that it might start to get a little nerve-wracking as you get closer to the moving date
ofc i don't know everything about your situation, but it sounds like this is a positive step forward (getting out of your parents' house and moving in with your partner), but that comes along with unknowns, especially if it's your first time living away from home!
that said - you are not alone! you have your partner, you have friends (and i'll say it can't hurt to let them know that you're a little nervous! it's a reasonable feeling to have in the face of something new) - these people care about you and want to support you. and! you're moving in with your partner - you two are in a position to lean on each other in the face of new or uncertain times
your feelings are absolutely valid - it's entirely reasonable to feel nervous in a new situation, no matter how positive it ultimately is for you! our brains are hardwired to be cautious of new things, to want to understand them fully before taking a leap, but there's no way to anticipate everything and that can lead to those anxious feelings (which can swing both in positive and negative directions!)
at the end of the day, i'll say what i always say - communication is key. talk to your partner, to your friends, give them the chance to remind and reassure you that they're here for you, that you will not be alone in this next step in your life, and that you can face it together - both the good and the nerve-wracking!
i hope, of course, that it's mostly good things that await you on the other end of the move, dear! 💜
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Dude I fucking loved CH wth 🤭
I'm being so honest right now, you had me invested from the very beginning, there's something about the way you write your characters that make them feel like actual humans, and I loved every second of it
Starting with oc obviously, i was completely enamored by her, bc yeah she's an absolute baddie, she's good at her job, knows what she's doing, is loving, honest, smart, and so freaking pretty. But she also has some heavy ass baggage, is still learning how to navigate her way through life, puts her loved ones (found family) above anything else, which we know has its good and bad side, and is learning to love and honor herself in a more healthy way
The pain was real whenever the angst waves came around, seeing all the shit she had to put up with, and never prioritizing herself, but that only made me love even more those steps of growth, confidence, self respect, and accountability she kept on taking after every hardship. (I legit started tearing up at the part about owning her pleasure, and understanding that regardless of whoever her sexual partner was, the decisions, vulnerability and enjoyment are hers to own and live to the fullest).
Same thing with all the relationships in the story, from the Nishimuras bond, history, and fight to actually be left alone by that bitchass family, to each of the friendships, between the boys, with yn individually, and with tsuki 😭😭😭 I love them so much you have no idea, they're SO FUCKING ADORABLE, AND REAL, AND GOOD AND REASSURING TO EACH OTHER I CANNOTJDJDIW
Anyway yeah, those are the type of friends people need, their advice, company, humor, love, admiration, respect, protectiveness, and sincerity. I just thank for taking so much time into developing each of their dynamics, personalities and quirks
And how could I not, our main ship, my babies HoonYn and their entire fucking story, interactions, chemistry, and bond had me giggling, crying, punching the air, kicking my feet, and sobbing of frustration, pain, and pride all in the span of 5 hours (yes I read the entire series in one sitting, no I did not sleep at all, yes it was absolutely worth it)
Anyway, I feel like that's a whole lot of rambling and I'm barely making any sense -also I'm sleep deprived and English is not my first language, so I apologize for all the mistakes here-, but overall, I just wanted to congratulate and thank you for conveying so many struggles we have to get through in the daily, you didn't shy away from the mental health struggles, the flaws of the characters, the shittines of life itself, the absolute NEED for honest and understanding communication in ANY kind of relationship, and the inmense impact a friendship can have in our lives, as well as our own strength, determination.
I really don't know if this ended up making any sense, but yeah, thank you for your hard and amazing work, you're a great writer fr, please take care of yourself and have an awesome day <3 <3 <3 <3
🥺 asks like this with such detailed feedback is just..like an actual live letter you guys
thank you SO so so so much, i know i sound like a broke record at this point but there's just not enough words of gratitude could use to show you just how much i appreciate this and you. thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me this and for being so kind, sweet and enthusiastic about it.
asks like theye give me a glimpse of my work from your POV and it never fails to make me so excited and happy and just so so so excited, i hope you know this is everything to me. im so happy to know just how much you've enjoyed reading it and all the characters too so rhank yoj for all of this, i love you so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤍☁️💫
1 note
·
View note
Text
If left to my own devices, I tend to get up in the early afternoon. Today was no different. I stepped outside and I took a big breath and I got real high and I thought at the top of my brain,
"what's going on"
For the dog was barking and I detected a weird noise under that.
I followed the dog's barking and found my poor freaking mother lying on the floor.
She's not very heavy, but it's awkward trying to pick her up, and i have some old back injuries, so I ran to tell my father that I needed help.
"I need to do paperwork!" he said.
My friend. Can you even halfway understand the blinding all-consuming rage that blew over me then? I briefly lost all connection to my corporeal form and became a being of pure, unadulterated fury. If my dad hadn't been on the other side of the door, I would have slapped the fuck out of him. The only reason I didn't say the most brutal shit you ever heard was because at least four different possibilities came up at once and got stuck in my throat. What did come out was a strangled, half-screamed, "SHE FELL on the FLOOR," and in my words were threats of every very real abuse being spoken out loud where my father can't bear to hear them. (For it is better to appear good than to be so, and as long as they aren't said, he can pretend any number of things about himself.)
My god. I can abide almost every form of abuse with a smile, but lying and cowardice turn me into the fucking devil.
I could tell my scream rattled him, because he came straight out and cared very much. Mom cried only when he showed up. This disgusted me further. Wasting her tears on this piece of shit.
I have been ignoring the job hunt for some time, losing myself in writing and non-stop Best of the Worst episodes, but the idea of relying any more on my father's money fills me with a transcendental rage past reckoning. His kind of love is so careless, so smooth and undifferentiated--like a child's love. He wants to be filled and treated and petted, but he is unwilling to do the same for others. In short, he wants the objects of his love, and he wants the fruits of their love for him, but he doesn't want the work. He's an empty pit we keep throwing treasures into.
When he says he loves you, he really means it, but he doesn't want to do what's right for those he loves. To do what's right for other people, you have to be able to empathize with them--to understand what they really want and need, especially when those wants and needs are completely alien to your own. He can't do that, and what's more, he can't learn, and even more than that, he doesn't want to, and as icing, he has never been able to face his own shortcomings.
Anyway.
Yes. The dog got a treat.
Her treatment of my father makes me wonder how much she picks up on. She will fight him when he puts my mom to bed and if he's lying down she'll tromp over him as hard as she can. She never fights me and if I'm lying in his space, she will politely wait for me to move.
The dog has my back, at least.
In other news, I watched Nicholas Nickleby (2002) and Glass Onion. Exceptionally good films. I think I've watched more movies in the past two months than I have in the past three years combined. I kinda hate it, tbh. Either a film is awesome and worth it or it isn't and I'm impossibly bored. It can't just be good looking. It's got to have something smart or personal (to me) going on.
My father has a predilection for animated children's films, which nine times out of ten are like nails on a chalkboard to me, but I usually end up hanging in there for mi mamá.
That's how I ended up rewatching Kung Fu Panda. I started thinking about how Kung Fu Panda set off the creative community in China--don't quote me, and feel free to correct me, but I believe they were astonished something so good could be produced by Westerners--and of course, I had initially watched it and been like, ho hum whatever babby show be urself. So I watched it a little closer and dredged up what I knew of Chinese philosophy (it's been a hot minute). It ended up being kinda nice for me.
Also, characters being out of their elements and getting fired and shit has been good for me in a whole new way. I watched Candy Cane Lane with Eddie Murphy and I mean. Not completely vacuous, very cute other than the cheap-ass CGI, very serviceable, and least they tried something new and I appreciate that. But what got me was: his character got fired!!! And that's what I carried with me for the whole film for some reason. I just needed the Bob Cratchitts this holiday season. You can guess why. Just trying to make sense of myself, I guess. Where can I fit in? Can I ever work again? I can't even keep a sensible sleep schedule.
I've got to do something. Can't leave Mom unsupported.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
homeandkichentools
Home And Kitchen Tools
paceparkergirl
What's your proof of life?
onhismouthlikeliquor
Scorpio Living
lana-rhodes
shining brighter than the sun
outthefrontdoor-blog
out the front door