Morning
You jolt awake. As always, it's already late morning, but at least you don't really have a strict schedule. I should start going to sleep earlier, you think to yourself while getting out of bed. You put on a pair of warm socks and head out of your room.
The dorm is quiet, with Jacq nowhere to be seen. "Probably went to work already, he's an actual teacher, unlike me," you talk to yourself while wondering what you'll grab for breakfast.
Lost in thought, you make your way to the bathroom. Not being able to hear the sound of the water running, you burst inside.
Surprised, Jacq turns to face you with a puzzled expression. Hair still damp from the shower, his stupidly endearing glasses on the sink and nothing but a towel around his hips, he smiles awkwardly with his mouth full of toothpaste. You can't help but stare at his unexpectedly attractive body and oh no he has a happy trail.
After an embarrassingly long delay your mind finally processes what happened:
"OH, MY, GOD, I'm so sorry!! I-I-I should've knocked or something!" you trip over your words, quickly turning around and walking back to your room, dying inside.
"IT'S FINE! I SHOULD'VE LOCKED THE DOOR!" Jacq shouts at you from the bathroom.
Oh fuck, oh fuck, OH FUCK! How could I be so dumb! Why didn't I knock, how did I not hear the sink running?! How embarrassing, why did I keep staring for so long?! He must think I'm a creep now. I'll never live this down I must move to another region... you crawl back into bed, your head swirling with endless thoughts.
A soft knock on the door pulls you out of the void: "Hey so uum good morning, haha, I'm making eggs for breakfast, would you like me to make some for you too?" Jacq asks with that stupid, adorable smile of his, and a hint of red on his cheeks. He's wearing an old, oversized shirt with some game logo on it and sweatpants. "Two will be fine, thanks," you answer quietly, hiding most of your face behind the blanket. How can I face him after this? It's probably for the best if we never bring it up again but Arceus, I want to sink into the ground.
"Okay, I'll call you when it's done," he says as he goes to the kitchen and you're left alone again. With your thoughts. Of your very attractive roommate.
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5-17-2023
Man fuck disordered eating.
All my homies hate disordered eating.
It's taken like 2-3 years to finally let go of ALL those awful habits and fucking eat and not feel bad about it and I'm loosing more weight now than I did back then.
If you're looking for a sign to think about recovery THIS IS IT!
You need food and drinks!
Food and drinks are good!!!
You need the energy to exercise and live and keep your body functioning!!!!!!!!!!
YOU NEED FOOD AND DRINKS TO LOSE WEIGHT IN A HEALTHY WAY AND KEEP IT OFF!
I HAVEN'T STUGGLED WITH THE 'GAIN AND LOSE THE SAME 5 LBS' THING IN MONTHS!
I'M DOWN 10 POUNDS ALREADY AND THEY'RE STAYING OFF!
AND DO NOT FUCKING FORGET loosing weight TAKES TIME! EAT AND DRINK AND EXCERCISE AND BE CONSISTANT!
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A CERTAIN WEIGHT TO LIVE AND HAVE FUN AND EXIST AND BE ATTRACTIVE!
LIVE AND HAVE FUN EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT AT YOUR GOAL YET!
LIVE AND HAVE FUN EVEN IF GAINING OR LOOSING WEIGHT ISN'T SOMETHING YOU WANNA DO! (unless it's for health reasons, then you know what you need to do AND YOU CAN DO IT!)
YOU'RE DESERVING OF KINDNESS NO MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE! EVERYONE IS! BE KIND!
ily
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I was seized with the need to draw Obake and acted on this impulse.
So originally I had a more ambitious pose in mind but I couldn’t get it to work and abandoned it, that left me a blank space to puzzle on until my brain went photobombing Globby. So here we go. :D
As always, please be kind and reblog, not repost, thank you! :D
Big Hero 6 © 2014 Disney
Done in Adobe Photoshop.
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I don't want to starve to death, what sort of suicidal maniac does anyone seriously take me for??? I have insanity, that doesn't mean I am always feeling suicidal too ... Anyway point being I only want to starve myself until I can turn my ribs into the most musical xylophones to ever have been played, I want t ok starve myself until my thigh gap is undoubtedly one of infamy and all the glory of the rest of the world hating me for my body being so light that I could float on a strong enough breeze... yeah maybe I'm starving myself to the death... but I'm cool as long as I look fantastic and insanely skinny-thin in my coffin or well whatever the hell they decided to bury me in, my own personal glad trash bag, it would be lighter than a real coffin and being a stupid and unrealistic weight, so light I can walk on the snow and not leave a single footprint..... yeah I'll totally take the glad trash bag.
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There's something about the whole ED discourse that won't stop bothering and is that people just don't understand hwo detached from reality you can be when you have an ED.
People with ED don't just see "fat=ugly", to them they look in the mirro and see THEMSELVES as ugly, while seeing everyone else just as they are, it's nit just about weight, they literally struggle with the entirety of their body, from their facial features, to their height, their body proportions and in the middle of it all is the number on the scale. I understand how easy it is to see it as "just weight" but their struggle is so much more than just a number, and I understand how a skinny blonde white woman stepping on a scale and seeing 'fat' can feel like a personal attack, but maybe if y'all took lore than 5 seconds to wonder what a metaphor is supposed to mean, you would understand that the dissonance between a skinny woman and a scale saying fat is meant to portray how ridiculous the standards that she's held up to (both by the media and herself) are.
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A scene I wanted to address, because I think we need to, because there is some understandable concern over this.
So, Aziraphale's first taste of human food... he goes pretty nuts. He eats it as fast as he can get it down. He can barely stop to breathe. And I can see why that evokes the Greedy Fat Person trope for some.
Given that Gaiman is no fan of fatphobia, I'm pretty sure that's not the intent. But I won't lean on that. I'll go further, and explain what that scene evoked for me, and see if it makes sense to anyone else.
(To preface, I'm a fat person with blood sugar problems who DOES eat like a starving animal and has 0 shame about it. So I'm not just Not Seeing It because of skinny privilege etc. To get that out of the way.)
So first off, of course, it's his first EVER attempt at eating human food. The absolute lack of moderation could be explained by that alone. But I think it's significant that it's specifically meat.
Those who are familiar with the Old Testament know what I mean when I say that God is carnivorous. It's the entire reason he was a bitch to Cain and not to Abel. The Abrahamic god was one of many at the time that accepted burnt animal offerings, before later revisions attempted to wave that away because oops, it sounds too pagan. Flesh of livestock was a common and expected offering, and burning it assured that the smell and smoke and 'essence' would rise to the heavens.
With that in mind, consider what the taste of meat would do to an angel. What it might awaken in them, the first of God's creations?
Maybe it's the monster-lover in me, but I didn't see a fat man gobbling food. I saw an inhuman ancient entity of immense power that only disguises itself as a man, briefly succumbing to a primal and Earthly urge. It wasn't comical to me. It was almost frightening, in a very intentional way. Rarely do we see through the human guise in this series, see just how eldritch these ethereal beings really are, especially Aziraphale. But here he is, ripping almost uncontrollably into the flesh of another life-form with ominous music and thunder overlying the whole scene, and a demon staring at him with intense satisfaction and fascination throughout.
That's what I took from it. If I had to guess, I'd say that's closer to the intent. Again, partly from knowing the author, but also from the way the scene is shot. We're watching an angel partake in literal pleasures of the flesh for the first time, taking formerly living matter into his body. I can totally vibe with Crowley's reaction, tbh.
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