#I'm totally blocked

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

This is controversial, but I don't think Wilson is bisexual. I'm convinced he's completely gay.

"Well wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt, he sleeps with A LOT of women."

You are correct, and ironically, that is one of the reasons I think he's gay. The closet he's hiding in is deeper than the Mariana trench. The denial runs so deep that he doesn't even think he's gay. He sleeps with women constantly because he's trying to convince himself that he's straight because in his mind, he thinks that he couldn't possibly be gay if he sleeps with women. He's constantly stuck in the cycle of married to divorced, and he could not keep a stable relationship with a woman if his life depended on it (I'm not counting Amber because she wasn't around long enough). Obviously, not all, but a lot of queer people share the experience of overcompensating as a form of denial.

#If you respond to this point saying he's straight I will block you lmao #this is my headcanon #and I'm totally open to other peoples headcanons about him being queer in some way #but i will die on the hill that he is NOT straight so i dont want to hear about it 😭 #drafts #house md #house #james wilson #wilson #hilson #robert sean leonard #housemd #dr james wilson

[monstersandmaw]

Ok, I'm sorry, the fingers on his lips to tease him before giving in to his lil pout and giving him a kiss on the mouth? Patch 6 kisses are everything.

#the HEAT in Halsin's eyes when he's denied #I'm so sorry if you're totally sick of Tavrir the sassy lil tiefling #i'm losing followers every time I post screenshots but I don't care #tag to block is: #ghosti plays bg3 #tiefling monk #tiefling #tav x halsin #bg3 patch 6

[gegengestalt]

Tendencies I've observed

#some people also do block of text for Alyosha but sssssh #ssssssh I'm totally not the Mitya one nope #the brothers karamazov #tbk #fyodor dostoyevsky #classic literature memes

[ssaalexblake]

it’s also baffling to me that tumblr, home of the ‘why are white men Still being cast as the doctor’ for So many years now (For you know, like over a decade.) is somehow not appalled that they hired a white dude to be the next Doctor because look okay it’s okay if it’s This white man. 

I mean, I do not consent to acknowledge that they’ve shoved him in there under any circumstance, but my Only need for the casting of the next person was that it was Not a white man, otherwise i didn’t care who it was, so when they “announced” Gatwa I was satisfied (i am hesitant to say they announced it bc it was more like a tiny footnote than an announcement, oh the disrespect) and it took a whole seven days (it was literally seven days. Yes i counted. it was easy since it was only seven days) it was ‘actually sorry no it’s this white dude we’ve already had before did we forget to mention that???’ and it’s steadily gotten worse and worse. 

That This site of all places is not up in arms about both the situation and how it specifically played out is depressing, but also massively and darkly hilarious.  

Especially since i Also remember nobody on this site thought casting Whittaker was good enough but literally going backward to a previous white man is?? This is not even a metaphor about diversity getting worse, they literally looked backwards. 

But, yeah,  tenn/ant with the ‘what the future looks like’ headline is uh... Good???? Not super worrying and ominous? 

I feel like i’ve been dumped in some weird parallel universe by reactions to all of this on here like??? the whole way this was done was appalling, the situation is appalling, but i guess the bbc/disney should get a rousing round of applause for accurately judging that nobody would care about their poor actions if the specific white guy they cast was popular enough that next to nobody would care. 

( and to the ‘it’s an anniversary ep’ thing, they legit could have just set a couple of eps in the past. i don’t mean they travel to the past. i mean just say ‘hey this ep is set during s4!’ and nobody would care. this show does weirder stuff than this every second episode. and it would still be bad, but how they did it is so much Worse.)

#dw shit #literally feel like i live in some wild parallel universe where weird shit is happening #genuinely #i am baffled #while also not being baffled at all #i try to be a realist rather than be cynical or optimistic but you know what #in this case #i honestly expected better of people #guess the cynicism would have helped here #idk i love 13 but i like jodie too and it'd Suck Balls to see her stomp on somebody else down the line #i'd hate it #i'd lose respect for her #but i've never been one for stan culture i guess #any bs on this one gets blocked and totally ignored tbh the level to which i do not care is So High #all i'm saying is #when they do more bs with white guys you Don't like #remember they learnt they can get away with it when nobody cared when they did it the first time #their litmus test has sure given Results

[perenians]

interesting how gale & wyll fans are often the ones who dislike astarion most lmao. it feels a little bit like larian doesn't respect them or their hopeless romanticism, and certainly not their kind approach to the world. out of the male origin characters, it's glaringly obvious that there's a favorite, and it just...sucks for everyone else.

#never mind how little wyll in particular gets #like. it stinks. i'm sorry #also? them being the more good-aligned characters is not a coincidence #goodness and kindness are not boring y'all #it's an active choice #i hate how people think they're less interesting because they're good and want to help people #i was going to put disclaimers on this like #'i'm not saying astarion's totally evil/not worth the character work!11!1! i like astarion truly i do #i just wish wyll and gale (and the other companions) had been given the same amount of care!!1!!1!' #but then i realized that 1) i can just block annoying astarion fans and 2) i don't need to defend myself for criticizing astarion #bg3 critical #larian critical #per plays #bg3 #calm down per

[razzberrydazz]

Me, realizing one of the many reasons I like Shadowheart and Astarion so much is because they read as having BPD to me, because I am a person with BPD and I project myself the hardest on characters I see myself in. It's MY comfort characters and I'll project on them however much I want 🤡😈

So I broke down the base criteria of BPD symptoms (you only need to tick 5 of the 9 criteria to be able to be diagnosed with BPD) and how both Shadowheart and Astarion can be interpreted as having and expressing the various behavioral criteria.

The main criteria: Fear of Abandonment, Self-Harm and/or Suicidal Thoughts, Chronic feelings of Emptiness and Dissociation, Unstable Self-image and sense of identity, history of unstable relationships, impulsive and self-sabotaging behavior, mood swings, extreme anger, Paranoia and disconnect from reality. It's not explicitly a criteria, but it's incredibly common if not a prerequisite that people with BPD have prolonged past trauma that caused them to have these maladaptive behaviors.

Both Astarion and Shadowheart have the traumatized unstable past to explain their behaviors (Shadowheart DEFINITELY has SEVERE childhood trauma since she got kidnapped and forced into a horribly abusive and manipulative cult, while Astarion has the trauma from Cazador's centuries of abuse and manipulation)

Both of them have SEVERE trust issues (Shadowheart from being in a cult as well as her attempts to pit Tav against Lae'Zel because she's distrustful of her {she has good reason to be when she's carrying a Gith artifact, as well as the Githyanki's long history of brutality and oppressive regimes}, Astarion from being so severely abused by Cazador despite his attempts to please the vampire lord, both of them can latch onto Tav and trust Tav entirely too Much once they're shown a shred of decency)

Both have Extreme fear of abandonment that they deal with in different ways (Shadowheart avoids abandonment by generally pushing people away and keeping them at arm's length so she can't grow attached especially if she stays Sharran, then latches onto the player far more than she should if no longer Sharran because Tav is her last tether of trust and warmth; Astarion avoids abandonment by trying to seduce you and get in your good graces as quickly as possible)

Both have unstable self-image and identity (Astarion doesn't even remember his own face before turning into a vampire, Shadowheart has to double down and recite the Sharran dogma to herself near constantly because she is unsure of her faith and by act 2/3 has QUITE an existential crisis on her relationship with Shar and Selune and cuts her bangs and even dyes her hair if no longer Sharran)

Both have a history of unstable relationships (Shadowheart can't even remember most of her possible past relationships due to the memory wipes, the main relationship she does remember is that of her with her cruel capricious goddess Shar, and if you go Selune route in Shadowheart's personal quest she will latch onto Tav and ask them to be with her forever with the clear implication that she's afraid Tav will leave her; Astarion hadn't been able to maintain a single good relationship in his entire time under Cazador because he had to lure his lovers to his master)

Both have impulsive and self-sabotaging behaviors ESPECIALLY Astarion imo (Astarion's perceived initial hypersexuality and inability to say no to sexual intimacy for most of the game, his want to do the ritual which overall has a far worse outcome for himself and others, his attempt to feed from Tav without their consent and possibly kill them in the process, his approval and encouragement of evil actions that reinforce that Tav is not trustworthy; Shadowheart's attempt to kill Lae'Zel by holding a dagger to her throat while she slept was definitely an impulsive act, and if she throws away the spear of night in act 2 that was Definitely done by impulse and not of active thought, and her cutting and dying her hair was most definitely done on impulse imo)

Both appear to have chronic feelings of emptiness and dissociation (Astarion largely because of the chronic vampiric gnawing hunger as well as him appearing to dissociate during some sex scenes, Shadowheart feeling emptiness largely due to the loss of her memory and mind as well as her dissociating via prayer because Sharrans try to empty themselves of all emotion to feel the emptiness and loss that Shar upholds)

Both of them have appear to have varying anger issues (not as much as other characters at times, as both Karlach and Lae'Zel DEFINITELY have worse anger issues at first glance if you ask me) and different ways they deal with it (Astarion is quite murder happy about it, such as when he can kill the Gur bounty hunter without caring for Tav's input, and Shadowheart's anger and resentment towards Lae'Zel and Selunites causes her to verbally lash out at any mention of Selune while at one point physically threatening Lae'Zel with her dagger and possibly killing her if Tav doesn't intervene or eggs her on, though I think most of Shadowheart's anger is turned inward and turned into her mentally anguishing that she's not a good enough devotee to her goddess)

Both have Extreme paranoia and suspicion of others (Shadowheart is distrustful of others by default and is especially paranoid about Lae'Zel due to her being Gith, Astarion is paranoid of being taken back to Cazador and holds Tav at knifepoint at first accusing them of being the one that kidnapped him before Tav assuages his fears)

Of the BPD criteria, I'd say outright Self-Harm and Suicidal Ideation shows up in both Shart and Astarion the Least (Gale has EVERYONE beat in the suicidality department); they both most definitely want to live, though they both still do Self-Harm usually through their self-sabotaging actions. I wouldn't count Shadowheart's stigmata hand wound as Self-Harm since it was Shar that inflicted that on her and not Shadowheart inflicting it on herself. If anything, it could be argued that Shadowheart purposely doing things she knows Shar would dislike in order to activate the wound is some form of self harm possibly? Shar is her abuser so I still am firm that her wound is not Shadowheart harming herself even if she knowingly does things to activate it because it is the fault of her abuser for hurting her.

As for extreme mood swings, often times those can be pretty well concealed and be mostly internal instead of external if someone is good enough at masking their emotions. Of the party members, Shadowheart and Astarion and Gale mask their emotions the most. Karlach has pretty outward mood swings, she's very expressive, while both Shadowheart and Astarion (and Gale) are typically pretty withdrawn and wear a mask of false smiles. Shadowheart definitely seems to be chronically depressed or otherwise ruminating and not having a good time mentally. If she has mood swings they are likely turned inwards and not outwards. She does have outbursts of anger and panic indicative of rapid mood swings at times, however. Astarion's dramatic catty antics could be read as mood swings judging how he reacts to Tav's various actions. Both he and Shart are very catty.

Overall, both Shadowheart and Astarion can be read as having enough matching behaviors to the BPD criteria for me to confidently say they're coded to have BPD, even if it's not explicitly stated as such.

Sidenote, sometimes people with BPD can experience minor hallucinations especially auditory hallucinations, and Shadowheart most Definitely had auditory hallucinations of Shar judging and shaming her if you ask me. It could have actually been Shar in her head yes, but it could also just as easily have been Shadowheart's own mind tormenting her.

BPD can also possibly predispose people towards Psychosis, black and white thinking, and delusions, though it's not a definite. Astarion's obsession with completing the ritual insisting it will protect him for good could be seen as a possible delusion of grandeur. Shadowheart definitely has black-and-white dogmatic thinking while under Shar's thumb. They need so much healing.

All of this is my interpretation to support my headcanons of course, these also enable my shameless projecting on these two catty characters. I'm a borderline bitch and if I can't get a stable personality myself, store bought is fine!

A lot of stuff is speculative and that's fine with me.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #shadowheart #Astarion #mental health #headcanon #character analysis #bpd #borderline personality disorder #razz rambles #razz musings #musings #razz analysis #razz headcanons #this is not a place to shit on people with personality disorders #if anyone comes into my space and starts saying shit like 'all people with x disorders are abusive horrible people' I will block them #people with these disorders have them FROM TRAUMA!!!! THEY ARE THEMSELVES VICTIMS OF TRAUMA #NO ONE DEVELOPS THESE COPING MECHANISMS IN A VACUUM #anyways I'm totally normal about Shadowheart I swear (delusional) #razz rambles in the tags #just because I have a condition does not mean I'm a complete expert on it #i just saw what I know or have experience with

[chipthekeeper]

Ranking Velcinta moments by how insane they make me feel, a(n overly) comprehensive list

As promised, here's my way too detailed ranking of all 18-ish of their moments. This (predictably) got obnoxiously long toward the end, so venture under the cut if you actually care and/or don't mind a lot of scrolling.

18. Valley One (Ep. 6)

I'm relatively sane about this. Except when I think about how they probably slept in that little hut the night before. Also when I think about how this is one of the very few shots in which they're both visible and (relatively) in focus.

17. "No farewells tonight." (Ep. 5)

Mostly was insane about this when the episode first came out and I was SO. FUCKING. WORRIED. that they were gonna die in the next one.

16. "What are they doing?" (Ep. 5)

Girlfriends who scowl together stay together (please Tony Gilroy I'm begging you).

15. Feeding the dray (Ep. 5)

The fact that Cinta is smiling here is what makes me most crazy. Also I just adore this flash of simple domesticity with them. Ahh, what could have been....

14. "Have you heard from Cinta?" (Ep. 7)

Vel not being able to look Kleya in the eye when she asks about Cinta makes me crazy mostly for the whole "Vel/Kleya exes" plot but of course this whole part had me jumping out of my seat on first watch.

13. "The rebellion comes first. We take what's left." (Ep. 9)

VEL FINDING STRENGTH IN CINTA'S WORDS AND USING THEM TO HELP MON WITH HER DOUBTS TOO I'M !!!!!

(went all-caps way before I thought I would, maybe this one should be higher....)

12. Into the smoke (Ep. 12)

She looks so worried when Cinta isn't where she's supposed to be and then she sprints INTO the melee while everyone else is running AWAY. I'M NOT FINE!!!!

11. At the campfire (Ep. 4)

I swear to y'all that the first time I watched this episode and saw them sitting so close I was like "oh. hey" fully intending to ship them even if that was literally all we got. And then holy fucking shit we got everything I was too afraid to ask for. So this moment always has a special place in my heart.

10. "What's she doing?" (Ep. 4)

It. Makes. Me. CRAZY. That the first time they share a scene together, they're literally always in the same frame.

CRAZY.

Like....they've been connected from the VERY beginning, even if the show revealed them being together rather slowly. Also it's everything to me that the first time we see Cinta it's Taramyn asking her what Vel is up to bringing a new guy in. Because if anyone would know, it would be her.

9. "Stay focused, Clem." (Ep. 5)

All of the territorial Vel stuff is great to me but I especially love this moment. First of all Cinta's little smirk. And also it's just so....idk it's a quiet moment of contemplation and probably anxiety but we can't not take a second to tell Clem to back off.

I'm combining this with the "you can dress yourself" bit too because that moment just makes me laugh with how Vel's always in the background watching and then immediately jumps up to give Clem the business and use his scuffle with Skeen as an excuse to mark her territory.

8. "Closet?" "Empty." (Ep. 12)

That bit of dialogue made my gay little self so happy and then they went and did the whole "that's blood" "it's not mine" thing and I'll never recover. Vel being so concerned that she won't even let Cinta keep packing, but then at the very end she's a little impressed/turned on??? 10/10 no notes. (okay I have one note and that's "you're really just going to leave me hanging like that for two years?????" but that's a different post)

7. "Get down!" (Ep. 6)

Truly one of my favorite scenes in the whole show is when Vel almost loses her shit at the top of the dam. The tension is insane, her fear is PALPABLE, and I absolutely love that it's Cinta just calling her out for stalling and then yelling at her that breaks her out of it.

But the thing that makes me feel most crazy about this scene is this:

Someone please explain to me WHY Cinta makes the jump while looking directly at Vel. EXPLAIN IT TO ME. Or else I will just continue to believe it's because part of her is scared up there too and looking at Vel is what helps her take the leap. That is a crazy thought -- I'm pretty sure she's fine -- but if it's not that then I don't get why she's even facing that way??

6. This (Ep. 8)

THE MUSIC. THE FADE. THE SORROW. I like literally can't even talk about this one. But it does make me feel a lot how obvious it is that Vel's thoughts are soooooooooo far from the fight here:

While at the same time there's not a thought in Cinta's head about her:

Breaks my fucking heart.

5. "No. She didn't tell me." (Ep. 5)

Whew. This moment. For a while I was mostly happy about this moment because it was just one more piece of evidence that they were together before that was fully confirmed.

But then my headcanon brain took over while I was writing my multichapter fic and it has been fucking me up ever since. Because I'm always going to wonder if all their drama was always going to happen the way it did or if Vel betraying Cinta's trust as a partner was some kind of breaking point.

Is that probably just me? Yes. Does it matter? Not to this ranking.

4. "She's already sharin' a blanket if that's what you're wonderin'." (Ep. 5)

I was!!! I was wonderin'!!!!! And I will forever use this phrase as a euphemism for being a lesbian.

What I would not give........to experience this line and this shot for the first time again. Or at least know what I sounded like giving a joyous shout.

3. "Tell me you'll be alright." (Ep. 6)

This is the one that I would probably sound the most insane trying to talk about out loud. It would be a lot of me like verbally keysmashing and somehow going "!!!!!!" out loud.

The hand-hold that saved my life? The EMOTION in their eyes when they look at each other??? Vel starting to go in for the goodbye kiss right in front of the hostages' salad but then just not????????

Fuck.

FUCK!!!!!!!

2. "Come away from the window." (Ep. 12)

I have to start by talking about Vel's cute little sad grin in this scene when she's like "nice to see you too" and Cinta like glares back at her. That made me feel crazy enough but then this whole scene that I want to say I can't even put into words even though I have in fact already done it.

The desperation on Vel's part is what kills me. Not that she's desperate for attention or love or whatever people always try to pin on her here (and of course it is that to some degree) but that she's desperate to keep Cinta from losing herself. She's so desperate but all she can do is ask. All she can do is hope Cinta will turn around and take a break. And she does.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS AFTER THAT TONY GILROY?!

I have never screamed so loud about a scene just ending.

Whatever, it gave me something to write and I enjoyed doing that.

1. "You love me because I show you what you need to see." (Ep. 8)

And here we are. The scene that has taken up space in my brain more than any other single thing since I saw it. I've been over it so many times. Watching and taking notes, staring at the gifs, studying the screencaps, trying to wrap my head around every little line and gesture and movement and emotion. I've spent hours on it, and I still find myself coming back to think about it and wondering if I've truly understood it all.

Just getting them reunited after Aldhani was such a relief (even though it was jarring at first to just see Cinta and be like "how the fuck did you get here?"). But then the conversation just knocked me on my ass.

"Haven't we been apart long enough?" YES YOU HAVE!!

"We take what's left." NOOOO TAKE IT ALL

"That's cold...even for you." Stabbing me in the face would be less painful.

And then...hearing the words "you love me" from one woman to another woman in a Star Wars show....not a book, not a comic...a show. Truly meant everything to me. I was so fucking happy to hear those words that I couldn't even process how goddamn sad the rest of it was until later. Once I did I had a stomachache for an entire week. I have one again right now.

And then it ends with the most fucking beautiful hand-hold and yet another tiny look that makes me feel crazy in and of itself (which I've done a whole post on by itself), and despite my broken heart I have hope.

If I am ever able to watch this scene and not feel seventeen emotions at once, it's over for me.

Easy number one.

#yeah this is a truly ridiculous post #i'm sorry #and it will rightfully get a total of 3 notes #but honestly i'm satisfied with it even just as a collection of all their moments #ps fuck you tumblr for having a 30 image limit lmao #jk but really if you're responsible and use a read more you should be allowed more than that #anyway don't block me pls #velcinta #vel sartha #cinta kaz #andor #after this i may have to amend my favorite episode ranking #and put 5 above 6 #which i've been thinking about doing anyway so this is probably the sign i needed #my posts #bookmarks

[boyslit]

hi, do not make ai content from voice actors' work. that includes voice lines from games, shows, etc. you are not entitled to use their voice as you please. that is their tool, that is how they earn a living, and more importantly, it is a part of their person.

i'm blocking anyone i see using ai chatbots, ai image generation, or ai voice mixes. if you're not interested in treating the works of artists with respect and refuse to discontinue use of ai mechanisms, then save me some trouble and block me yourself. thanks

#honkai star rail #genshin impact #trying to think of other areas i see this running rampant in #rvb fandom is pretty good about this at least on tumblr #also i'm not arguing about this. if you argue about this with me you're getting blocked. end of. #because i'm right and you're contributing to a culture of art theft and devaluement #hate to do this for court of darkness because there's like seven people total.. might just unfollow and let yall reckon w urselves about it #im really tired. the ai discussion isn't new. it's BEEN wrong. #the chatbots are always shit anyways. you're better off finding an rp partner that knows the character #twst #as well

[asinasura]

the truth comes out

#the binding of isaac #tboi #tboi fanart #the binding of isaac fanart #tboi lilith #still art blocked but i played like 10 hours of lilith in one week #out of the total 20 hours spent on the game #i'm trying to get back into the groove of things though!!! #these rambling tags aren't for anyone tbh i just need to say shit

[agentark]

when the vibes have to be just right for your fernweh replay, so you spend hours on making collages instead of ...... actually reading

x / x

#idk why mothman is there it just felt right #fernweh saga spoilers #fernweh saga #if spoilers #at first I just wanted to make one that felt generally fernweh #but then I realized I need to get reacquainted w/ Rose #and now i'm tempted to make ANOTHER collage for her that's more fitting for her at the end of book 1 #(like despite everything - it's still you- and despite everything - the horrors persist!! but at least you have a cool dagger sword i guess #oc: rose beckham #anyway feels good to finally be shaking off my reader's (?) block #time to be Totally Normal about R Verner again #these were actually so fun to make I fear I may have discovered a new rabbit hole

[rosetta-stoned-bitch]

the fact that taylor not only announced an album called the tortured poets department on grammys which btw resembles the name of group chat in which joe alwyn was in but also dragged a known zionist lana del rey on stage after winning aoty and talked about how she impacted young artists during an ongoing genocide is just not sitting right to me. like, there's already so much hate against joe alwyn who has done nothing but stay silent after all the death threats, god only knows how much it will increase after her new album.

also, the fact that the term poets will be associated with her album rather than dead poets society is just not disappointing

Honestly, I've never cared about Grammys. And while I used to be a swiftie (ik, bleurghhh, everyone makes mistakes at 19, mine just happened to be a white billionaire instead of a boy 🤢), it is now difficult to care about her enough to even hate her.

But the fact that she chooses to stay silent I'm the face of genocide, with allllll this affluence that she's acquired over the years and with no threat to her actual career (let's be fr, who's gonna fire her? She works for herself ffs). And then she brings on stage an actual zionist supporter.... There really is no hope for this punk rock billionaire, at this point I feel bad for her exes.

#anti taylor swift #Swifties dni #Feel free to block the tag. Or even me. idc. #Also I don't entertain hate mail #Unless it's funny. In which case go ahead I'll have a laugh and totally consider posting it #Bonus if you have enough guts to go off of anon #I leave taylor swift supporters alone and expect the same decency from them okay #Also super sad about the dead poets society thing. That is a great piece of media. But I'm also sure swift won't be able to eclipse it out #Ever. Simply because it will always be more relevant than her. It's a classic. She's just trash no comparison fr. #anon ask #arushi rambles #asks

[obeymeow]

nightbringer lesson 14 FUCKED ME UP in several ways but primarily I've spent the last 48 hours making myself sad over the solomon backstory we got. specifically I have, for no reason, latched onto that one chapter in the Kids event where baby solomon cried because he felt so guilty over being responsible for that spell. and that just feels a touch more depressing in context

#nightbringer spoilers #obey me on side #went back and unlocked the event again because i could not get this out of my brain i know it's probably not that deep #but it is that deep TO ME. okay #baby solomon has been on my brain since thirteen told that story so that's probably why it's sticking in my brain so hard but whatever #in case anyone was wondering the other things to make me sad are: #he has such a deeply excessive amount of lights in his room in purgatory hall there are SEVERAL chandeliers and lamps #there's a good handful in his room in cocytus hall too (his horror dg showed it) if a more normal amount #but that with the 'dim and gloomy' detail. ☹️ #i've also always thought that solomon's loneliness wasn't all about the immortal angst but like. #having it confirmed that he's had reason to be lonely since he was a child- before he was old enough to know he was using magic- #totally crushed me girl why can't I be wrong #had emotions about lesson 14 in general but solomon backstory steals the show every time for me so i haven't gotten around to the rest #i'm enjoying the nightbringer story so much (not talking about the game design. that's a different thing entirely) but man #the pacing is WILD it feels like every lesson could be a whole lesson block at the least. it's giving me a lot of room to speculate #which I always love! but i do wish they would slow down a little and expand on some of these concepts they're bringing up #because the basic idea of the game alone is REALLY INTRIGUING and it'd be a shame if they raced back to the present imo #what was i even talking about. sorry my brain fast forwards as soon as i get into the tags there is not one sequitur to be seen #so curious about solomon's friend now too. like my guess is it's going to be lilith (and hopefully not in a popular fan theory kind of way) #because it's more than a little suspicious that they expanded on lilith's views on humans the way they did #in a way that SO PERFECTLY lines up with the expansion on solomon's views on humans #WHICH I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT YET BY THE WAY BUT LIKE. HE IS SO RIGHT AND REAL FOR THAT #it's beyond stressful to me that I think solomon is completely justified in his views and being completely reasonable about it #but that it would also mean war between the worlds presumably while the brothers are still recovering from THEIRS #you cannot give me that choice man. not even sure that the human world would be ABLE to win that fight if we're being real #solomon's 72 pacts are a lot yes but he's still only one guy who is NOT on good terms with the sorcerer's society #and mc is powerful but so so inexperienced. and that's IF they choose to side with the human world which #really i don't think the canon mc is likely to do. but anyway i guess solomon's friend could also be adam maybe? #that could be wishful thinking because i like adam though. even if his hair SUUUCKS #deeply offended by everyone thinking solomon got the fucked up hair when all signs point to adam be NICE TO HIM he's ugly already

[fras-redacted-shapes]

The other day I was doing some introspection while doing the dishes (as you do) and I thought it was very funny how as soon as my psychiatrist asked me to be honest with myself regarding distractions and do my best to get rid of them if I can't manage them (starting by removing all clutter from my desk) I immediately started removing everything about online games I was playing at the time.

I hid Warframe and Destiny 2 from my library on the same day, because yes, I simply cannot manage them, I'd end up with perpetual brain rot. You know, that type of fixation where I'd just open the game out of habit and draw, think and play only those. Schedule life around in game events.

Which I mostly overcame because Dragon Age brain rot hit. Which I couldn't overcome nor manage and only got over it because I played Control.

Now it's been two years since playing it for the first time, about a year and a half on medication and like a year of re-learning time management and organizational skills. And I have to admit I still cannot manage the brain rot, but at least I can schedule enough hours per week to work lol

Still, I'm glad it's brain rot for a game like Control because hey, I'm drawing things I've very much had no interest in before, the game's inspirations are so varied it expanded my interests, fandom is small enough I don't get to see the same complaints over and over - the best is I don't get people complaining about the game when I post my fanart :D

(actually the best thing is that it's a single player game, because those shitty F2P mechanic are extremely hostile and toxic to ADHD brains)

May all my unfinished and planned projects for Warframe and Dragon Age rest in peace. Maybe one day I'll pick them back up, just not today.

#the healthiest thing was blocking reddit because people seem to only discuss the same three things over and over #totally not looking forward to the F2P game Remedy is working on #I felt my stomach churn when I saw the announcement #there's a specific combination of elements I know will fuck me up so if it turns out the game combines them #I'm gonna have to block everything about it :(

[williamrikers]

everyone who writes vegaspete aus is wrong.

pete would not fall in love with hot, sexy vegas trying to seduce him. he wouldn't be into it at all. on the show, pete fell in love with vegas when he was wet, pathetic, at his literal lowest point, crying over his dead hedgehog, self-harming. pete is NOT into suave mafia heir bad boy vegas. he just isn't. get your facts straight

#vegaspete #kinnporsche the series #*mine #this is probably my last post in this fandom #i'm gonna take a break for a while #sorry @ everyone i've blocked no hard feelings but i cannot take this fandom any more #also y'all are wrong about their dynamic anyway #i can't read a single fic about them without feeling rage #there are like. five fics total that get their characters right #anyway. goodbye. onto greener pastures

[motherhenna]

wanted to share an almost full-body pic for the first time in probably almost a decade because for once I'm actually proud of how I'm progressing and think that the changes I'm making will end up being permanent bc I'm genuinely enjoying them. Plus, the few selfies I have shared over the last five years have been very photoshopped and at flattering angles, so I feel like most of y'all don't know what I actually look like. So this is me in my children's theater teacher fit last monday!

I'm 17 lbs down from my highest ever weight, but my trainer thinks I'm probably up at least ten to fifteen lbs in muscle. I'm cooking my own food, eating more reasonable portions, and going to the gym at least five times a week because I want to, not because I feel shame or guilt. And now that I'm working as hard as I am, I'm a lot less triggered by looking at new pictures of myself because I know I'm doing my best. I'm still obese, and probably will be for awhile more, but I'm starting to appreciate what I look like and feel like. And hopefully it'll just get better from here!

#weight loss cw #sorry if this sounds super corny lmao #I probably sound so neurotypical rn but I swear I'm being totally honest #I'm obviously not turning this into a weight loss blog or anything but expect a lot more documentation of my journey going forward! #and if you don't like seeing this stuff I recommend blocking my 'personal' tag because I'm going to be talking about this a lot #I've struggled with my weight since premature puberty hit me like a truck in 4th grade so this is a big deal for me #I just wish my pediatrician hadn't treated me like shit for it because maybe if she'd approached me with compassion #I wouldn't have spun off the rails as much as I did #but either way I'm a grown ass adult and I did this to myself #so I'm the only one who can get me out of it #if you're also fat or fatter than I am please dont take it personally #but for me fatness is a physical manifestation of my long term neglect for my health and struggle w mental illness #and I want to get better #personal

[stillbreathing-aer]

...is it because he never showed any sign or potential of being interested in aphmau... is that...

#i mean besides jason totally turning the tides for him #but like.. #trying to put any of these fucked up diy puzzle pieces together #is that viable #sigh #younger me is still dying but i'm just #uGH #woah aer talks? #aphmau #minecraft diaries #aphmau minecraft diaries #minecraft diaries aphmau #mcd #mcd aphmau #aphmau mcd #aaron mcd #mcd aaron #aer's revisiting block game roleplays