#I've been waiting 100 years for this

[marshmallowgoop]

no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)

#detective conan #case closed #amv #my amvs #eye strain #heiji hattori #harley hartwell #conan edogawa #shinichi kudo #funimation english dub script #video #happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'! #while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?) #it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real #it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺 #and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up' #but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project #it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster! #which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results! #to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio #video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds #but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now #but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!) #i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten #and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it! #thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333 #like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3 #but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522 #and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol #i'm sorry i've been so absent lately! i hope to be more active now... and there are 2 completely done amvs that i'm just waiting to post...

[todayisafridaynight]

did some dumb shit today and immediately thought of my favorite quote to cope

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 2 #yakuza 2 #ryuji goda #snap sketches #ever since he said that i've been able to cope with so many things better and i'm 100% serious #it's just such a funny quote but it also speaks to me on a spiritual level #anyways i thought i had to go to the court house today so i drove out like half an hour #and then i waited another half hour cause i was too early and then i go there #and the lady's like 'we sent you an email :o you didnt have to come in today- youre actually fine for the next three years :o' #AND I JUST SAT IN MY CAR AFTER THAT SO DEFEATED #I COULDNT EVEN GET ANY FOOD OR GO SHOPPING CAUSE ALL THE SHOPS WERE CLOSED #AND THEY ONLY OPENED THREE HOURS LATER OR LIKE. /TOMORROW/ #ryuji goda my beloved thank you for letting me be able to live with my dumbass #my stupidity is an illness and i'm glad i can coexist with it now #tbh i coulda made this funnier cause i just remembered ryuji's shirtless in the og cutcene but whatever #i just wanted to get my truth out there #plus i like his coat :)

[ratanslily]

they're gorgeous.....

#romance club #rc malbonte #heaven's secret 2 #rc hs 2 #I've been waiting for 100 years......... #I'm gonna post the full scene soon🙏🏽

[thedarklyblue]

what if i just started t

#.txt #it is 9:30 pm time to think about Gender #i've been not Considering it bc i'm not 100% sure and top surgery is my biggest priority but i think that's going 2 have to wait #for a few years at least #but like low dose t gel....... #build a little muscle drop my voice so i'm not immediately clockable get a little hairier ... #obviously i cannot control the effects and theres more to it but god damn #-> they were talking about emulating their dad's style today and unearthing wants. #someday when i am not in a small dorm i will sew myself buttonups and vests and pants and be a silly old-fashioned little gamer butch #anyway. it's bedtime and i am in a mood <3 #spring formal is saturday and i have a blazer and cologne and a chain (and platform boots to be a tad taller) and am taking my roommate #because her boyfriend can't make it #and i am going to be SO butch i keep thinking about it <3

[aro-aizawa]

me, whenever i figure a plot twist in a 20 year old anime: oh wow i am SO big brained rn i am such a genius

me, two minutes later, conpletely blindsided by a major plot twist:

#shut up danni's talking #danni liveblogs #danni liveblogs detco #gif #detco spoilers #look i was 100% sold on the idea that jodie = vermouth/belmont i did NOT peg dr araichi as her instead #episode 345 took me out w the whiplash i got enduring all those plot twists i did not see coming #but looking back i can DEFFO see where they came from and the foreshadowing ohhhhhh i can tell. #i can tell this isn't gonna be a blast through the content and forget abt it kind of thing my mind has been racing w fanfic aus #i wanna delve into the fanfic/fandom too but hnk i wanna avoid spoilers!!!!!! #also i don't know how the fandom categorises things that happen at different plot events etc #there's straight up like a thousand episodes and im only a third of the way through #anyways thats gotta be a good stop for today i can't remember how long i've been awake for but it feels like forever #i am exhausted #urgh this always happens when im home alone for more than a few days #fun fact: kogoro is legit my least favourite character and yet i relate to him immensely #me daydreaming of when i catch up/know every case; i cannot wait to write an au where shinichi gets credited for the cases he solved via him #either shinichi or conan idk which would be better bc shinichi being nowhere near the crimes solved them or a literal 6 year old #im leaning more to the six year old bc its fkn hilarious #that one episode where he defused a bomb in a major landmark and was credited for it as a 6 year old is so fkn funny #this guy had the whole city hostage and yet he was completely stopped by a 6 year old #yeah he has the mind of a 17 y old but c'mon he's physically 6 #this is my allure to this series which will win; hundreds of criminals or one determined 6 year old #if you bet against the 6 y old he's coming for your kneecaps

[captain-crowfish]

They say to never trust how you feel about your life after 9PM but it's always before 9PM somewhere. Anyway I think I might be a therian

#don't take this post 100% seriously I've been sick and #crying my eyes out to “no more birthdays” associating the song with trying to relive a childhood that isn't mine (childhood trauuuumaaaaaa) #that's a big problem I have #deep down I always think someday I'm gonna wake up and I will have been born a few years earlier- #so I can be an “appropriate” age to experience all my favorite media as it releases and interact accordingly #i always think- if that were the case I could have avoided my traumatic years and grown up much happier #don't get me wrong- I'm happy right now- you'd be hard pressed to find me on a day I'm not #but there's some existentialism that comes with wanting to magically wake up a different age- in the past- in a different life #I want to have lived any life but mine #and I just keep waiting for it to feel better again #it never does #crowfish crap #that therian part is definitely coinciding with autism and gender non conformity #when I picture myself I immediately picture my fursona- not a human who (at the moment) appears feminine #i hardly know anything about the subculture itself however #blathering #its true btw don't trust how you feel about your life at night time

[hannibals-cheekbones]

Django with Matthias Schoenaerts and Noomi Rapace is on Netflix!! It's finally here!

#I've been waiting for 100 years I had NO idea when it would be available in the US #Django #matthias schoenaerts #noomi rapace #How long has it been up? Netflix doesn't even know me Can't believe it wasn't recommended or something

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years #not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion #so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all #but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all. #it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid) #and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable. #but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him #i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted #and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried......... #the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms #i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still #and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :))))) #insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case #i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!) #but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man. #it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/ #why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly??? #while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING??? #if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now #but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃 #shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience #and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over #he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday #and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now. #i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again.. #i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh #(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh) #at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*

[queerplatonic-msr]

I FINALLY FINISHED FAIRY TAIL

I'M CRYING (IN A GOOD WAY)

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER

#I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SINCE I WAS A KID #I FINALLY FINISHED IT #ive been waiting and waiting to look at fairy tail stuff on tumblr too without getting spoiled #im so excited #ok now what tags do i block to avoid 100 year quest spoilers #fairy tail

[dont-offend-the-bees]

We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛

#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by #i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time #i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime #i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone #dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that #but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this #an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill #he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week #maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him #but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out #I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die #i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature. #i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them #mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started. #i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here #and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us. #and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't. #anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly. #with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one #idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out #but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for #the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids #anyway. enough oversharing. #thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you #mr. bees speaks

[somelazyassartist]

.

#WHY do things i want have to cost money #i know I've still got like $100 set aside from stuff like birthday/graduation card stuff that i haven't been counting towards my wheelchair #cuz like. that's birthday/graduation gift money y'know?? i can wait a bit longer and work for my wheelchair‚ i can save that $100 to enjoy #but I've been specific with how much i spend on any given thing so i don't waste it #but i REALLY REALLY want this game #it's SUPER hard to find in general since it's been sold out for years and it's even harder to find an unused copy (without writing in it) #but i found a copy that is not only like new but ALSO has the original bonus trinkets with it you can't find anywhere else #the only problem is it'd take the last of that money :( #so like.... i COULD do it. but also i probably shouldn't spend it all on a hundred dollar board game #and i know it's silly and kinda dumb to actually consider spending that much money on a game but I've been wanting it for ages lmao #idk just kinda talking to the void here about it lmao

[monarchisms]

AH’s minecraft series is ten years old today

#i was studying for my calc exam when the realization hit me #happy birthday but also #what the fuck man #i've been watching for about eight of those years #most definitely before episode 100 aired #and even back then i was like #''aw man i have so much to catch up with'' #it was worth it though #i hope they do something special to celebrate #but i also would understand if they don't want to #since they've forced themselves to play the game every single week until recently #for now i'll just cherish the memories and get excited for newer stuff and all that #feeling sentimental on this tuesday morning lads #i'm not gonna queue this lol #wait it's wednesday #time isn't real

[saixpuppy]

HEIAN-KYO COMPLETE, DOUMAN FULLY UNLOCKED

#.eros #can't remember my fgo tag sorry #ANYWAY HEY #I'M SO EMO ABOUT HIM #I LOVE MY WIFE. I LOVE..MY WIFE.... #two years! i waited TWO YEARS and THEN SOME! #ououghghghhhh #jfc. this is the first time i've EVER been Caught Up 100% with the story #my dumb fucking evil catboy wife i love him so fucking much

[sluttyten]

🥶

#i can't tell if my bedroom is actually so cold #or if my hands and feet are absolutely freezing due to my anxiety #but i'm going with anxiety bc like im wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants in my bed with flannel sheets #and a thick comforter and another blanket on top of it #the thermostat says my house is 72 degrees but my feet have felt like icicles all day #but im also pretty sure they're sweating which is a little tmi #but im currently stressing over jury duty so 😗✌️ #googling what kinds of things i might be asked so i can try to figure out answers that won't get me selected #which is difficult not knowing what kind of trial it's going to be #just hoping i give off enough anxious and biased vibes that i don't get selected #like my social anxiety has been hitting for the last few hours #i can call in a few hours and find out if i even have to show up and that alone is driving me insane #i can't do anything right now other than research this stuff #like i want to write or finish watching this show i've been watching but i can't enjoy anything right now i can only think about this #it's like the other night when i got the summons in the mail and literally didn't do anything with the rest of my day #was reading something earlier about waiting to be selected for jury duty and my heart was pounding and i was imagining it #and like thinking about how i'm definitely gonna feel like i'm going to puke tomorrow im gonna be so shaky #i haven't felt like this in like 5 years since i was last in school and had to worry about public speaking or big projects #like they gave me such bad anxiety i get so hot and red and like get a little buzzy in my ears... yknow casual things #so earlier i was freaking out thinking about how they select the jury foreman which i absolutely 100 percent cannot do #i can't speak up in public even when it was in front of a classroom of people i've known for years #i couldn't bring myself to speak up and ask questions or say thoughts for a discussion (to the point where i failed a project once bc of it) #but i've never been diagnosed with any form of anxiety by a doctor or anything like that so I don't know if i even have an anxiety disorder #but just like based off of a lot of things i've noticed over the years and the way that i'll like focus on a thing that's causing me stress #to the point where it's debilitating and i can't do anything except freak out about it #i'd say i've got something going on.... like back when i had that promotion offered to me at work and i literally cried in my room stressed #about the pressure of the position which i then only held for a few months bc i can't handle the social aspect of it #anyway i've ranted enough now i'm going to go and try to do like anything.... finish writing maybe

[medicinemane]

Does a recurring infection count as a chronic illness?

Cause I was just thinking about people with chronic illnesses talking about how they'll kind of hope for bad days and just hope for something to show up so they can get answers, cause I was just feeling the site where the infection is (which my doctor couldn't) and thinking I kind of hope it hurries up and gets infected again since it itches like crazy and makes the area feel tender

Obviously in my case there's theoretically a cure. It's just a site with an infection that flared back up in the past, and that either will flare up again or... I don't know... left behind scar tissue I guess is the only other thing I can think that hard bit might be

Also obviously this is a lot less debilitating for me than most chronic illnesses (though when it's a full on infection I really do have trouble walking)

I don't know... just a thought that hit me and made me wonder

#I've known a lot of people on here over the years who have chronic illnesses #talked a lot with people about navigating the medical system and how hard things like pain management can be #so I'm strongly on the side of advocacy for chronic illness and have been for years #but it just kind of hit me thinking about this and made me wonder if even though it has a cure in theory #if the fact I 100% have not been able to get said cure means it's kind of like a curable chronic illness #where I'm basically having to wait for it to reinfect and... I don't know... maybe instead of taking antibiotics #I just insist my doc send me to a surgeon cause it vanishes to the eye of a doctor once it's in remission #took almost a year to come back last time but... it came back; went to the urgent care and got it ultrasounded #but they didn't want to do anything to it cause it's in a spot with a lot of muscles and nerves #...I don't know... hate dealing with this #it's a minor thing but being able to get rid of it for good is a small thing to add to the suicide pile

[aphelea]

day of birth is coming up! and follower milestone. might do something :)

#september 27 babyyy! #oh wait. it's also almost my 2 year tumblr anniversary #maybe i'll just open up my ask box to writing prompts later? and just write a bunch for y'all #whatever y'all want me to write. i will write it #also the follower milestone is 100. i mean we're not there yet but we're close enough that ill just do it now #august rambles #i've been like barely online this week lmao i had a lot of work