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#I've got it. I've gotten as many romantic tropes as were sincerely possible. i have no complaints
diomedrian · 3 years
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I complain a lot on here but I was reading with my cat curled up next to me and it's thundering outside and I think maybe life is good
#personal#i am gonna post little moments cos i realized i didn't do it for my entire time in uk bc i was terrified i might never let any of it go#but thats okay sometimes like tonight. it came back to me as if it'd happened a week ago. as if i was joking in the grocery store about#English food and cat food with my friend who later walked me home and told me to watch for the stars and how when he was inside my room i#had a brief moment of maybe but then i didn't act on it i think thats the only time i didn't act on it#and there arw so many flashbacks to me and him (b) lying in bed and me waking up to his arms around me and me kissing him#goodbye at eleven pm so he can catch the last train because i insisted he stay a couple of hours more and the one time i was like sure I'll#walk with you to the station i don't mind and the look on his face so delighted and so pure as if he'd won the world#sometimes i think I'll take no one else just wait around until i run into him again because i dont think I'd want anyone else ever again#and its true there have been romances after but none like him nothing like us and i am very young but maybe i romance is not for me#not with humans and if it is and if its not with him then i want no part of it. maybe I'll find someone better whrn i am 60 someone who#shares the same interest in Euripides and Aristotle but that doesn't matter for now. i wanted a tragic once in a life time kind of thing.#I've got it. I've gotten as many romantic tropes as were sincerely possible. i have no complaints#fiskkfksdk i am so hopeful now that i have made peace with this that i will come around with classics as well#i am planning on just not being online for a while not on tumblr ofc that doesn't count but just. read and develop.#think internet is exhausting because its not moderated. when i am ready I'll schedule time slots of 10 minutes and maybe that'll make for#consistent and thoughtful posting and hopefully I'll have a classics thing ready to go as well yknow#it's okay that I have to take a couple of more months to be ready for classics. it won't matter in the long run#or it might and it will still be okay because I'd be pursuing classics#yes it has actually made me question whether i like greek or not even though its a modern translation and i have studied ancient greek. and#thAts the only reason i haven't lost my mind because sure it's derived from the ancient one but that doesn't mean anything. its still a ver#Different language and its okay that i can't do it because i actually haven't studied it lmao#anyway sorry these tags are so long and i love you and i am you exist#*glad
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