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weirdmarioenemies · 9 months

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I am going to rank all of the Super Mario Galaxies and none of you can stop me

That's right! I'm ranking all of them! All ninety-one of these things! Hi, I'm Mod Hooligon, and you may recognize me as "the mod that posted about Super Paper Mario a lot", but did you know? The Super Mario Galaxy games are maybe my actual favorite Mario games! In fact, I've never even beaten Super Paper Mario! I'm a fraud! But I'm a cute fraud, right?

But I'm not a fraud when it comes to Super Mario Galaxy, because I've 100%'d both games, and have replayed them multiple times over! And when you play some games that much, you start to have opinions. And then you want to subject everyone else to your opinions! So that's what I'm gonna do.

This is gonna be a little Weirdmarioenemies mini-series I run outside of our usual posting schedule, so expect a new part of this list every Sunday, until there's no Galaxies left to cover. Today we'll be tackling all the low-tier Galaxies, because there's not enough of them to warrant making three separate posts for F-tier, D-tier, and C-tier.

Got that? Good. Rankings start under the cut!

91. Sling Pod Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Well, something had to be the worst. If you are an ardent Sling Pod Galaxy fan, I am so, so sorry. Let it be known that you are entitled to your own opinion, and that I understand.

But I'm also entitled to my own opinion and my opinion is that Sling Pod Galaxy is Not Very Good! Really, not a lot of the Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game are, we're gonna be covering most of them in this post...

The Sling Pods aren't an awful gimmick in and of themselves, it can be fun to slingshot Mario around, and they're used to great effect in the Tarantox boss fight! But I feel like they can be a bit imprecise, and nowhere does that show more than in Sling Pod Galaxy, where you're required to fling Mario from Sling Pod to Sling Pod with precise timing, and not a lot of wiggle room.

If your aim or timing is just slightly off (and let's face it, it uses motion controls, so it's probably going to be) then you're gonna sling Mario right into the void. There's a cool concept here, but at the end of the day, I'll always find Sling Pod Galaxy more frustrating than fun.

And besides that, it's just not very thematically interesting! It's kinda just cobbled together out of miscellaneous assets, but doesn't manage to make it feel like a Theme the way Space Junk Galaxy does.

90. Snow Cap Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Oh look, another Hungry Luma Galaxy! That didn't take long at all.

I feel like most people wouldn't consider the bunny chases the highlights of the Super Mario Galaxy games, and Snow Cap Galaxy is a galaxy that makes you chase three bunnies, all of which start the mission hidden, under a pretty strict time limit. There's a small chamber you can open that you can chase the bunnies into, but in order to open it, you need to activate a number of Flipswitches, most of which are hidden in the snow, which you need to use your cursor to clear out...

I feel like this mission asks too much of you in too little time, and ends up being another one that ends up more frustrating than fun, especially with how inconsistent chasing down the bunnies can actually be! That being said, I'll give it the edge over Sling Pod, since I think it's at least a little more aesthetically interesting. Bunnies hiding in the snow! It's cute.

89. Stone Cyclone Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: F

If the Hungry Lumas have the worst galaxies in the first game, then World S has some of the worst in the second. I wouldn't say the track record is nearly as bad, I think Super Mario Galaxy 2's quality is much more consistent all around, but that didn't manage to save Stone Cyclone from escaping the bottom tier...

I like a good challenge, but I like a good challenge, and I don't know if I'd consider Stone Cyclone Galaxy good. It's a repeat of the Stone Cyclone planet from the first game (which I do like!), but with all the Tox Boxes, Thwomps, and moving platforms moving 4 times faster. You're given switches that can temporarily slow everything down, and make everything much more manageable, but since it's all temporary, you better be able to manage the faster version once the timer's up!

I don't know, there's a cool concept here, but I feel everything moves so fast when time isn't slowed down, that making jumps between the moving platforms in particular can be really difficult. And when the Tox Boxes are moving faster than you do, sometimes it feels like there's not much room to move without getting squished soon after!

88. Flipswitch Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Yep! Stone Cyclone was the last of the bottom-tiers. Again, there's not really a lot of galaxies in these games I don't like. Now we're at the "I don't necessarily hate them, but also find them kind of pointless" tier!

And no Galaxy feels more pointless to me than Flipswitch Galaxy, which is honestly kind of a joke. Flipswitch Galaxy is One planet. That's right, you get one! This is an entire Galaxy that could easily be a mission in another Galaxy, and even that's being generous. This is a stopgap between two planets in a cooler, more elaborate Galaxy.

Flipswitch Galaxy isn't really frustrating at all, it's probably one of the easiest missions in the entire game, but it's so short and so pointless, that I just wish they did a little more with it, you know? Add a couple more planets, let things escalate a little more, I know you want to keep it easy because of how early in the game it is, but if Flip-Swap Galaxy is any indication, you can do a breezy early-game gimmick galaxy much better than this!

87. Bigmouth Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Okay, quick question, how many of you have beaten Bigmouth Galaxy the intended way? I genuinely didn't know until a pretty recent playthrough that there even were Star Chips in this Galaxy. I always just used gravity shenanigans to jump from the top of pool to the other! I thought that's what you were supposed to do, and that the jump was just a little annoying to get right! I'm not sure if I've even ever done this mission the intended way. The jump is just way quicker.

Bigmouth Galaxy is pretty whatever. It sure does exist! I think it's funny that this is a Hungry Luma Galaxy, but Penguru says he likes to come here frequently just to think. He's been a frequent here ever since the galaxy was born five minutes ago!

What do you want me to say about Bigmouth Galaxy. It's a shorter, easier, more mediocre version of Slimy Spring Galaxy, I guess.

86. Drip Drop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

I'm just not giving these Hungry Luma galaxies a break, am I? Don't worry Hungry Lumas, you'll do better in Super Mario Galaxy 2.

Anyway, Drip Drop Galaxy is a single planet where you kill a few Gringills with shells, and that's really it. The underwater controls in this game can feel a little janky, so aiming the shells can be a little frustrating, but it's not especially hard, especially if you can find the Red Shells, which retain their homing ability from Mario Kart.

Pretty unremarkable, not especially fun, but I don't dread it the way I do some others, so that's a plus. Apparently this is where Penguru lives.

85. Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Wrapping up the D-tiers, we have Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor, the most forgettable of the Bowser and Bowser Jr. stages. King Kaliente is a cool boss and all, and I think the sinking lava platforms are a cool shakeup to his fight, but for the final boss of the fifth dome, you kinda think they'd do a bit more, right?

There's not really a lot of buildup to the boss, and the boss itself isn't all that difficult, which makes this mission feel pretty underwhelming. I'm curious if I'd put this higher if it weren't one of the Bowser Jr. stages. My stance is "probably, but not by too much". There's not a lot going on in this galaxy.

84. Boo's Boneyard Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I don't know what it says that this is one of the better Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game.

Let's talk positives first! I think it's cool that they give you a rematch against the Spooky Speedster, and I like that it shakes things up so much. The idea of you getting the Boo Mushroom to become more "equal" with the Spooky Speedster is cool, and I like that they further differentiate things by making it a 2D level. That's all pretty cool!

It's just that... I think this mission is really easy. The Spooky Speedster isn't really all that speedy here, and unlike the shortcut during the first race which you kinda have to go out of your way for, this time it's in plain sight, and not hard to reach at all. Besides that, I just don't think the Boo Mushroom is an especially fun powerup to use in a Race. It's a good powerup, make no mistake, but in the context of a race, it feels pretty sluggish...

83. Loopdeeloop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Super Mario Galaxy has a handful of motion-control based minigames, and of the bunch, I think the ray surfing is my least favorite. I don't hate it, I kinda like how wild riding the waves can feel, but at the same time, that wildness combined with the motion controls can make it feel at times like you don't have a lot of control over where you're going, you know?

Loopdeeloop Galaxy is the galaxy that introduces this minigame, and it's fine. I generally prefer its more challenging variant (which we'll see later, but not too much later), but this works well enough as an introduction. It's just kind of a basic version of a minigame I'm not that big a fan of, there's not a lot to say about Loopdeeloop Galaxy.

82. Honeyclimb Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

As far as single-mission gimmick galaxies go, this one is alright. I like the use of Mandibugs and Meteors to spice things up. Unlike something like the Flipswitch Galaxy, this has a pretty solid sense of escalation, which I like!

That being said, it's still pretty basic, climbing honey walls isn't exactly the most exciting gimmick in the world, so I'm not gonna be that huge on a galaxy built completely around it. I guess the focus on the honey climbing lets it feel a bit more distinct from the other Bee Mushroom galaxies, but it's also easily the weakest of the Bee Mushroom galaxies, so I'm not sure if that's a good thing...

I feel like I don't have much to say about any of these mid-tier Galaxies. Sorry.

81. Grand Finale Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Of all the galaxy rankings, I feel like this is one of the ones I feel the least certain about. Part of me feels it should be lower, part of me thinks putting it lower would be unfair, so instead it ends up here!

From a gameplay perspective, Grand Finale Galaxy is not really that interesting at all. There's no challenge, you just grab the Purple Coins, which are all just out there in the open, and that's really it! That's the star! I don't even know if you can die in this galaxy at all.

But like, that feels like the wrong way to assess this galaxy, because it's not meant to be a challenge in the slightest, it's meant to be this nice little reward you get for getting 100% in this game. You beat the game twice over already, so get to enjoy the Star Festival without Bowser rudely interrupting! Get to spend a little more time with all the characters you've met on your journey before being done with the game for good, it's here as a nice little bonus.

That being said, as a Grand Finale, I feel it sort of lacks... grandeur? I dunno. It's cute as a nice little goodbye, but part of me feels they could've done a little more with it.

Don't ask me what! I'm not a game designer, I'm just some autistic girl on the internet talking about a 16 year old video game! Leave me alone!

80. Mario Squared Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

I'll give Mario Squared Galaxy this: it has one of the best names of any galaxy across these games, and that gotta count for something.

Mario Squared is pretty much just a reused planet from Toy Time Galaxy in the first game, just with the rotating squares swapped out for Flipswitches. And I mean hey, if you're gonna reuse content from any galaxy, Toy Time is a pretty good pick. but also the very nature of being reused content means I'm bumping it down a bit, because eh! We've already seen this before! I don't need a galaxy to be a small part of a better galaxy!

I'm pretty sure this galaxy solely exists so they could bring back the infamous Luigi's Purple Coins mission in Super Mario Galaxy 2, which I guess is fair. That mission is difficult, but it is fun, and I like the twists they add in this game (like the Cosmic Clones, and the fact you have to grab all of them this time)! Fun way to create a new take on one of the first game's most challenging missions.

...But can I really rate a galaxy that highly for redoing something another Galaxy already did? I don't know if I can give Mario Squared Galaxy a super high grade for copying Toy Time Galaxy's homework and changing it a little.

I think it's funny that the objective of this mission is to turn all the blue Flipswitches yellow, so it looks like Mario's SMB1 sprite, but once all the Flipswitches are activated, they all turn green, making the whole thing feel kinda pointless. This is fine because green is a better color than yellow anyway.

79. Hurry-Scurry Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Another one of those short gimmick galaxies with only one mission. I think building a galaxy around these disappearing panels is a pretty fun idea. Once you stand on one of them, it's gone forever, so you have to plan your route carefully, but don't spend too much time planning, because all the ground is disappearing panels. It creates a fun dynamic, that's true to the galaxy's name! There's a solid chance your route will be a little off, so you might have to make some big leaps to grab notes you may have missed. It's cool, I like it!

But not like, that much. It's still a pretty small galaxy all things considered. This one gets a little buildup before the end, which is nice, but it's not much buildup, so the whole experience ends up feeling a little short.

Not helping is the fact they repeat this mission later in the game, but more challenging, and in a galaxy that has other things going on. That does subtract from Hurry-Scurry Galaxy a bit, I feel.

78. Sand Spiral Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I know I've mentioned multiple times in this post how mediocre the Hungry Luma galaxies in the first game are, but for emphasis: this is the second best one, and it's in C-Tier. Don't feel too bad, Sand Spiral Galaxy. You'll still outshine most of your siblings at the family reunion. At least if you're ignoring those pesky Super Mario Galaxy 2 Hungry Luma galaxies.

This Galaxy gives you a choice between the Bee Mushroom and the Boo Mushroom, and I pretty much always pick the Boo Mushroom I'm pretty sure. There's obstacles for both on the way, so it's not like one's strictly "better" than the other, but I always appreciate the extra control the Boo Mushroom gives me here. After a short tunnel, you lose your powerup, are sent to a spiral planet spinning around a moon, where you grab a Rainbow Star and run through some mines to grab the Star at the end.

It's a pretty short mission that doesn't really feel like it knows what it wants to do, but at the very least, I appreciate that it gives you multiple options, the visual at the end is pretty striking, and making big jumps during the spiral as a Speedrun Strat can be pretty satisfying.

77. Boss Blitz Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

If you couldn't tell already, a lot of World S in Super Mario Galaxy 2 is reused content, and that's a lot of why these galaxies are scoring so low. Boss Blitz Galaxy is a string of five boss fights from the first game in a row, which I guess makes it a bit interesting in the context of the sequel, given none of these bosses show up in the main quest, so if this is your only Super Mario Galaxy game, you kinda gotta figure them all out on the fly.

Thankfully, most of these boss fights are still pretty fun, though again, they're all reused so you're not really getting much new here. The timer challenge is sort of teetering on the edge between being "challenging in a frustrating way" and "challenging in a fun way" for me. Speedrunning all the boss fights can be really fun, but none of them really have shortcuts the way the bosses in say, Super Mario Odyssey do, and some of the RNG in the Bouldergeist fight can make the challenge feel a bit inconsistent (even if that IS the best of the bosses), so sometimes your pace feels a bit out of your control.

It also feels weird to have both Dino Piranha and Fiery Dino Piranha, it's kinda redundant, though I do like having them as the bookends, I guess.

76. Twisty Trials Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

Woah, reusing content from Super Mario Sunshine now? Slow down, World S!

For what it's worth, reusing Sunshine content is a bit more interesting than reusing Galaxy content, because it's a different game with different controls and different physics and whatnot. Still, it's not like Twisty Trials Galaxy is that interesting. It's a series of progressively more difficult rotating platforms that you have to keep your balance on, and that's really it, though I do like the comet challenge where they move twice as fast, and you have to use the Cloud Flower to keep on pace. That's pretty neat.

I wish they kept the music from Sunshine. I like the weird a capella version of the Super Mario Bros. Overworld theme way more than Super Mario 2007.

75. Loopdeeswoop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

"The Galaxy's Greatest Wave". I mean, there's only two ray surfing galaxies across both games, this one and Loopdeeloop, so is there really that much competition?

That being said, yeah, I like this more challenging version. I know that the ray surfing minigame still isn't really my favorite (it's in C-tier for a reason!) but having a more difficult course I think brings out some of the best aspects, like how wild it feels to control! And also some of the worst aspects, like how wild it feels to control! It's still as much of a double-edged sword as ever, just a bit more extreme due to the more extreme course.

That being said, since it's more challenging, that makes finishing it feel a lot more satisfying, and I'd never say it really feels unfair. Sure, falling off can be frustrating given how difficult it can be to control, but when it's all done, I end up feeling more "yeah, I did it :D" than "oh thank god that's over with", which I think is the important distinction between an F-tier and a C-tier.

Don't take that as meaning I'm in love with this galaxy, though. It's still here for a reason.

74. Bonefin Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

The cooler Drip Drop Galaxy.

That's really pretty much all this one is, it's Drip Drop Galaxy again but this time it's a boss fight, and it's a bit more exciting because of it. Heck, you need to beat Drip Drop Galaxy to unlock this one, so the resemblance isn't unintentional!

Since it's pretty much Drip Drop Galaxy again, it suffers a lot of the same issues that Galaxy has, but I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't get boosted a lot from the Style Points, though I also think having a single large target to hit ends up feeling a lot better than several smaller targets. Aiming your shells feels a lot easier, but since it's a boss fight, there's also a better sense of escalation here.

Still, it's pretty much just the boss fight, and I mean, being a slightly better version of a D-tier Galaxy isn't exactly something I'll sing my highest praises about. If nothing else, at least it has a killer atmosphere.

73. Sea Slide Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Wrapping up the C-tier is Sea Slide Galaxy, the worst of the "big" Galaxies from the first game. To quote myself from earlier in the same post, "Well, something had to be the worst." But also not quite like that since it's nowhere near as bad.

The biggest issue with Sea Slide Galaxy is there's really not an awful lot of diversity in its missions. Of the six missions here, three of them are basically "swim in a loop around the galaxy," just with slightly different distances. The Silver Star mission, thankfully, fares a lot better, as does the Improved Version of Hurry-Scurry Galaxy (here it is!) but the last of the missions is one of the boring Purple Coin missions. Mod Hooligon's Tip: If you start a Purple Coin mission and it doesn't have this banger, I'm Sorry.

The galaxy definitely has a unique layout, but there's not really much to do in the water besides swim in a circle, since every mission that doesn't involve swimming in a circle usually has you ignoring the water outright. Would this galaxy be better if it had more swimming? I dunno. As stated, the underwater controls in this game can be a bit finnicky, so maybe I should be glad it's either swim in a circle or don't swim at all.

And that's it for today's post! Do you agree with my opinions? Do you disagree? If you're a Sling Pod Galaxy fan, make some noise!

And if you're looking for the B-Tier galaxies, you're in luck, because you can find those here!

#super mario galaxy #super mario galaxy 2 #mod hooligon

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bowtiepastabitch · 6 months

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Let's talk costuming: Angelic Robes and The Unreliable Narrator

It's two am, I have to be up at six, but this has been fermenting in the back of my head for the past five hours I've spent doing homework and if I don't get it out I shan't sleep.

The costumes we see representing angelic character in Season Two are VASTLY different from those we see in Season One. (See my post on Aziraphale's Job Robe for an in-depth art history analysis of this individual costume piece.) In season one, the angelic flashback clothing we see is rather humble and uncomplicated. As all things in this show, this serves a very important narrative purpose.

Let's first compare these gorgeous gorgeous girls to their S1 counterparts, shall we?

Just look at the collar on that robe! In S1, we're introduced to Aziraphale in a very plain tunic-style robe with an unfinished neckline. Aside from a slight gold decoration and draping on the shoulders, this could easily be mistaken for rather primitive human garb. S2, by comparison, introduces angelic costume as non-ostentatious but still refined with a gold-trimmed gathered neckline and wide sleeves. The fabric itself, on a textile level, is much finer and softer. Overall, the robes give an air of innocence and angelic purity that is lacking from Aziraphale's S1 'fit. Let's look at another example:

Their Rome costumes are strewn with so many incredible details (check out this incredible post from 2019) but they still retain a bit of that historical ruggedness. Same for these:

The argument could be made for pure historical compliance, sure, but to claim a lack of anachronisms in this show would be a flat-out lie. No, S1 Crowley and Aziraphale are very distinctively human in their dress. The cloth has a wider weave, the ornamentation is minimal, all around it serves to highlight their fitting-in with humans and the humanization of their characters. They're 'going native,' as it were, no doubt about it.

So why, in S2, is Aziraphale suddenly showing up looking like he just popped out of a renaissance painter's wet dream?

Simple. Suddenly, Aziraphale isn't an angel among humans acting human, he's an angel being an angel doing angel things. We get to see the rest of the heaven gang in full angelic decadence as well, a bold departure from the starkness of 'modern' heaven. If this is, as many of you lovely folk have speculated, a series of flashbacks from Aziraphale's memory, the design choices designate very clearly Aziraphale's perception of himself as an angel. A perception which, mind you, would likely be influenced by later human ideas of angelic and heavenly aesthetics. As an unreliable narrator, Aziraphale is showing us not his actual wardrobe as an angelic being but his perception of his past self.

Crowley, too, is affected by this shift in dress. Bildad the Shuhite is everything S1 flashback Crowley is not: fashion-forward, smooth-talking, and impeccably well-dressed. We've got three different fabric textures (that's three times as many as any of his biblical S1 robing) and a definable silhouette. He's practically a fashionista.

If this were all taken as an objective narrative, the shift back to billowing-void peasant Crowley at Golgotha, where we next see her chronologically, would be strange to say the least.

So why is the costuming of the S2 pre-modern flashbacks so much more elaborate? There's three possibilities I can imagine for a change in costume design for any show:

Budget: this is highly unlikely an instant rule-out for me. I've seen what costumers can do on a shoestring budget, and besides the later period costumes make this demonstrably false.

Change in production design team: Technically possible, yes, but if there's one thing Good Omens does well between seasons it's continuity. I mean, they burned the fucking bookshop and then hand-painted tiles to recreate it exactly for the second season. This is not Harry Potter. This isn't it.

An intentional design: Everything, and I mean everything, in this show is intentional. While not everything the wardrobe team does is easily decodable (see Crowley's shapeshifting sunglasses) we've got a pretty comfortable bit of time to figure such things out. This is the only option that makes a lick of sense.

Wonderful, so we've established that this is a narrative choice.

So if it's a narrative choice, and it's distinct from the stylistic choices of Season One, then someone is lying to us. Or rather, we have an unreliable narrator somewhere along the way.

Most of the buzz on ye olde tumblr focuses on the idea of Aziraphale as narrator and memory-holder for S2, and that would certainly make sense from both a story and design. Of course he would see Angel Crowley as adorable and innocent and angelic (the hair is not helping his case either omg I love her), and of course he would see himself as grandly, exaggeratedly, almost dissonantly angelic at the major turning point in his faith.

If Crowley is narrating, then it calls into question why he would choose to remember himself this way. It holds a sort of nostalgic sadness, a memory of a joyful innocence permanently lost to God's cruelty. When we see Aziraphale in angelic splendor later, we're reminded again of what Crowley has lost. It echoes the aesthetic of his former angel self, the gathering and gold trim and bright white fabric, but also introduces a much more elaborate silhouette that reflects the shift toward heaven's new high-and-mighty attitude.

Finally, I'd like to point out that by contrast Season One focuses heavily on themes of humanity rather than ethereality. Narrated by God, no less, who probably has thoughts on their assimilation. While I think we can assume God to be a more reliable narrator than Crowley or Aziraphale, it's not out of the question that She would have her own story to spin about our Ineffable Idiots' shared history.

Ultimately, I think it's safe to say that whatever's going on in costume design is a Clue to the story we're being told in S2 and the one we will be told in S3.

#I would commit unspeakable crimes to work wardrobe for this show #just let me sew on some buttons and I'll be happy as a clam #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens costumes #costume design #ineffable husbands #unreliable narrators #angel crowley #go2 #neil gaiman

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starberry-cupcake · 10 days

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Alrighty, here we are again

previously, in harrowcita the ninth:

this happened

currently, after ch. 2 (once again, I wanted to read more but realized these notes were too long):

first off, I need to point out something very important

reading the first part of gideon, this was how the dynamic of her and harrow felt like, from gideon's pv in the first chapter or two

this is what it actually was like, now that I have harrow's pv

so, now that we've cleared that up, let me tell you about the emperor

I don't know about this guy

something's not adding up for me

I feel like he's either lying, telling half-truths that benefit him or he doesn't know what he's doing

and none of those options are very god-tier

he's also constantly going like "harrow, I'm gonna let you choose" and five minutes later he's "oh, actually, you never had a choice to begin with, I'm so sorry about that"

I don't think you're sorry if you've done it like 3 times since we've met you

maybe say what you actually mean, unless you're full of lies

he takes harrow on a walk through the clown death star ship he's got going on

and takes her to his coffin hangar

shows her coffins of the people he made to send to the ninth

the new ninth people

aiglamene is gonna have to work overtime

(I can't believe I've never forgotten her name)

and then there's coffins for all the little friends we made in canaan house

:) ♥

except there are a bunch missing people

let me just note the info we got

the second says "no human remains inside"

last we saw them, martita was KO and judith was bleeding to death

nobody from the third as well, and we already have suspicions about wtf is happening with these parsley and cilantro twins

from the sixth, one is empty because CAMILLA ISN'T DEAD GODDAMMIT

the other one has little pieces of palmolive in it

me picking up the pieces of palmolive from the decor of canaan house

there is one coffin for not!dulcinea

the emperor guy says he's taking her with the other lyctors

as long as he flushes afterwards, it's fine

we are, by the way, trying very hard to not mention gideon ever, apparently

just wanna point out real quick that THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE UNACCOUNTED FOR and this guy is GOD so he's doing a terrible job

or he's not saying all he knows

or both

all this time, ice cube barbie is tagging along

ice cube barbie is harrow's babadook, which I stan tbh

since she's here to stay, let me show you another pic of that doll because it's my favorite from the haunted beauty collection

so, the emperor starts telling harrow what they're fighting against (or escaping from) and where they came from

this man explains what he wants and leaves out what he wants

at one point, when harrow asks something like "how will you explain all the dead people?" he goes like

he asks harrow about death and the process of it and she says, at one point:

"In cases of apopneumatic shock, where death is sudden and violent, the energy burst can be sufficient to countermand osmotic pressure and leave the soul temporarily isolated. Whence we gain the ghost, and the revenant."

this is important for the later conversation about revenant beasts, which are the things that the emperor is having trouble with

but I highlighted it because I am adding it to my notes of "reasons why gideon could be not dead forever"

I am holding on to all the hope I can get

because if sudden violent death can leave the soul temporarily isolated and not do the due process of transitioning to the river or whatnot

and gideon isn't within harrow or whatever

maybe

maybe she's somewhere else

I don't know, let me have this, don't tell me anything, just

LET ME HAVE THIS

so yeah, basically the story is that the emperor is running away from nine revenant beasts, which were created during the resurrection, when a planet was blasted off

nine beasts like nine houses

there's three left now

I don't know about all of this, you guys

I don't have enough context and I don't trust this guy here

how do I know where we stand in all this?

what if he's not the good guy and what he did was some planetary bullshit to begin with?

what if the other side is the good guys?

what if he's killed by one of our heroes? like harrow or gideon or camilla?

because he's actually a false god jerk?

what if I kill him????

and then we have two last important things

first, barbie ice cube speaks now

love that for her

then, very crucial

the non-gideon mentioning seems to be a Thing

I don't know if I'm understanding correctly but

the emperor mentions ortus

ortus, the one we knew, our old pal from the ninth

and I got the feeling, idk if I got it, that he just assumed ortus was the cavalier she had with her

because 1) he didn't go down there and 2) no body was recovered

and then harrow also mentions ortus, but she says he "died thinking it was the only gift he was capable of giving" and that she "wasted it" and idk if she did that because she's blocking sad memories, she's confused because she's Not Doing Great Mentally Right Now, she doesn't wanna tell the emperor what actually happened, or all three

there's stuff about ortus I don't know, but that sounds to me more like what gideon said than what ortus "Got Blown To Bits With Mom In Ship" did

and then the emperor says his name again with suspicion and I'm like

I think this clown doesn't know

I think he doesn't know about gideon

I think he doesn't know about gideon or who gideon actually is

which we don't know yet either but it's probably important

because she's hercules, as previously established

I think maybe gideon is an outlier

an important planetary outlier

I have hopes

also, another day without camilla

god (not this one) I hope I can make shorter recaps but there's so much happening, I'm so sorry

#luly reacts to tlt #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #tlt spoilers #long post #the locked tomb

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thosewildcharms · 9 days

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Any personal headcanons on Rick and Michonne as a couple? Like their favorite things about the other, what they argue about, love languages ect. lol they’ve set up camp in my brain and I just want more of them 🙇🏻‍♀️

this is so funny because i've been thinking about their love languages ever since danai did that interview with YNB after 1x04! yvette said rick's is words of affirmation and michonne's is acts of services, and I definitely agree but I also think they display pretty much all of them, and quite a bit? rick is obviously into giving gifts and loves quality time (family fun day, begging her to spend just a few more days on the road in 7x12) and to say they both love physical touch is an understatement. this gorgeous gifset highlights it all beautifully.

anyway, some headcanons~

I really don't think they argue about much? they are very in sync most of the time. historically their big arguments are about how to handle major threats (negan, the crm, rick's PTSD) and since nothing bad is ever happening to them ever again because I said so there's no need to fight about those things anymore

michonne's favorite things about rick are how affectionate he is with his family, his strength, his accent, and his hair

rick's favorite thing about michonne is everything

i actually think they talk about books a lot. they're both nerdy as hell in different ways and love that about each other

michonne likes to cook and is very experimental while rick likes to bake (mostly secret family pie recipes) and they love feeding each other and their kids

michonne absentmindedly sings and does little dances when she's doing things around the house and rick stops whatever he's doing to lean against the wall and watch her and smile

that scene we saw in 9x01 where they cuddle up in bed and unpack their day was a ritual they started way back at the prison, even though back then it was obviously platonic (we do actually see them talking when everyone else is asleep several times throughout twd). they would linger and chat before heading to their respective cells at night. in the six years michonne spent without rick, she continued the tradition herself, talking to him out loud alone in their bedroom

rick DEFINITELY teases michonne about being oblivious to his feelings for her before The Couch

michonne hits back by teasing him about Whatever the Fuck He Was Doing With Jessie 💀

you didn't ask for grimes family headcanons but:

after they got home, michonne has a moment like that scene at the end of kill bill vol 2 and has a near silent hysterical laugh-cry of relief by herself in the bathroom before calmly walking back out to join her family. only rick notices

rick on the other hand is afraid to let any of them out of his sight. he spends the first six months he's back home being a total insomniac watching the three of them sleep because he's afraid if he closes his eyes he'll wake up alone back at the CRM

antony azor who plays rj is apparently very shy and reserved but opened up unexpectedly with andrew lincoln and so obviously this is also exactly what happened with rick and rj. father and son bonded INSTANTLY

his first night back, judith asks rick to finish reading the wizard of oz to her because he never got a chance to. it takes a good five minutes for him to compose himself but she does finally get the full story from her dad

rick and michonne do have an actual wedding ceremony, but it's just for them, judith and rj.

#richonne #the ones who live #people should definitely reblog this and add their own headcanons btw!#oh i also have this very specific scene in my head but idk how plausible it is because i didn't watch enough of late seasons twd #so i didn't include it but it goes like this:#rick and michonne are just kinda wandering around alexandria and michonne has just stepped away for a quick second #and some random alexandrian (or whoever) who has never met him but knew michonne had a significant other who was presumed dead #and who also thought michonne was nuts for believing otherwise #sidles up to rick like oh HI are you new here??#only for michonne to suddenly appear and. with MUCH delight. be like oh HELLO KAREN have you met my dead husband?#rick is tickled. he has no idea what's going on but gets snarky in solidarity #i just REALLY want michonne to have many opportunities to be smug about being right that rick was alive AND for bringing him home lol

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cononeillbreastingboobily · 6 months

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Stede and Ed really suck this season. Looking back, lots of their scenes were extremely cinematic and/or quotable: the dream sequence at the start, the mermaid scene, the thing about breathing the same air, the kiss under the moonlight, them banging with fireworks going off outside, Ed reading Stede's letter, the kiss and love confession during the fight with the English, and finally them standing together in the dilapidated house that is supposedly going to become their inn.

It felt heavily like style over substance. Meanwhile they spent the entire season flip flopping between being together, breaking up, taking things slow, taking things fast. It led to a severe case of arrested development for both of them, because at the end of the season neither of them really changed, they never talked through their issues which could help progress their relationship in a meaningful way.

I mean hell, Stede is worse this season than he was before. In the past he was self-centred and a bit of a dick, sure, but at the end of the day he did seem to care about his crew. And there he is, being the one to suggest that Ed go back to the ship and the crew, one half of which he marooned, and the other he spent weeks or months traumatizing. And on the same day that the very crew unanimously decided to kick Ed off the ship. Like??

Ed, similarly, seemed so... Confused is probably the best word to describe him this season. And I don't even mean the character himself, but the way he was written. We have established looong ago that he doesn't want to be a pirate anymore, yet after he abandons his leathers, he immediately retrieves them within like one day. And sure, he did it to protect Stede. But then he kinda... Did a complete 180° and suddenly wants to actually go back to piracy? Then he's supposed to rejoin the crew of the Revenge only to then stay on land with Stede with the intention to run an inn?

He seems all over the place, and not in a way that feels interesting or entertaining anymore. I mean hell, the first three episodes of the season were amazing, and he was definitely one of the highlights of them. He was incredibly intense in everything he did, hurting, heartbreaking, wanting to go down and willing to take the entire world with him. Those three episodes were probably my favourite bit of television that I've ever seen.

But then... Stede showed up.

And in the end Ed got reduced to this hollow character that doesn't seem to know what he wants at all, and it feels like it's going to bite him in the ass very soon, and hard. He didn't do any of the heavy lifting of development he could've or should've gone through. Izzy did. And then he bled out in Ed's arms.

What worries me is that DJenkins said in interviews before that ideally the show is supposed to end after three seasons, and (if we get season 3 at all, that is) if that is the case, if Ed and Stede are supposed to get a happy ending together that is meant to feel earned and gratifying, they won't have nearly enough time for it. I mean, they hardly talk about the things that matter, that are important to talk about if you want to have a serious relationship with another person. And sure, they might both feel this intense pull towards one another, but that isn't nearly enough to make it work between them. For one, love sometimes simply isn't enough. And I hope that they realize it in time.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #ofmd critical #sorrryyyy but i realized i still have a lot more to sayyyyyyyy #it sucks because i used to really like these characters #sigh

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portlandwithyou · 15 days

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A Digital Fangirl's Journey into the Analog World

It started with a search, three words typed into the eBay search bar. Due South zine.

I began my fandom journey online when high-speed internet was slowly rolling out in the United States. I've never known a time in fandom when a million search results weren't at the tips of my fingers, and yet I've been nostalgic for a more physical relationship with fandom. Thankfully, the @ds30below fest announcement had a week devoted to history. The perfect excuse to dive into zines for the first time.

Due Frisky #2 is a digest-sized, soft-cover zine held together with staples. This baby fits perfectly in your hand for reading anywhere. The photo doesn't do it justice, but the cover is a pretty pinky-red color.

Inside, there is a table of contents, an editor's note, the stories, and, at the back, a short advertisement for more zines from the same press. Included at the end of each full-length story is a black-and-white photograph from the show that is connected to the story's content. This is an F/V zine from January of 1997, although nowhere do they address or even mention Ray K. Perhaps issue one dealt with that?

As for the content itself, there are four stories and one poetry cycle. I'd especially like to highlight the first story, "Perfection" by Khylara, which deals with Ray V's Catholicism in such a beautiful way that I was practically jumping with joy as I read. Unfortunately, my searches have not turned up this fic anywhere online to share! It's such a shame, too; it's so thoughtful.

Speaking of which, although I can find some of the authors online, I haven't found any of the particular fics from the zine available. Mireille, who people may know from their other F/V works, has the first part of a multiple-part series in this zine. Now, the editors warn you of this in the editor's notes, but I had forgotten by the time I got to this story, and frankly, I am climbing the walls wondering what happens next!

I found reading this zine extremely satisfying. It was wonderful to have some fanfic to curl up with during a spring storm while being beholden to a supercomputer in my hand.

I also loved reading stories that were contemporary to the show's actual airing. I found the language to be just ever slightly more formal than fanfic nowadays, but in a way that was not distracting or detracting.

Another thing, as the title might imply, all of the stories feature sex and sexuality as a topic. Obviously, given my track record, that doesn't bother me. But I could see where that would turn some off from reading. There's drama, fluff, and plenty of other emotions throughout the pieces, but at the end of the day, they will be having sex.

Overall, this was a fantastic zine for a beginner. Every piece was wonderful, and I anticipate reading it again many times.

#I actually bought two others and might review those too #ALSO #if you own the third issue of due frisky and are looking to sell it please DM me immediately #ds30below #due south

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milaisreading · 8 months

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HIIII i love ur posts!!

Can i request a tired or mentally drained and at one point she breaks down on front of the bllk boys and all of them start panicking or trying to comfort her? 😭😅

I've been tired cuz exam season ( >:p ) "and i wanna cry but i physically can't ( idk why? ) and i want some comfort sooooo.... yeah!

if u dont wanna its cool :)

byeeee❤️❤️

Author: I FEEL U! I have been feeling soo drained and useless ever since my exams finished. Literally can't even relax during this small break I got:// Anyways, I hope u like this! Thanks for the request🩷

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

On any normal day (Y/n) didn't mind the chaos the boys caused her, after all they were under a lot of pressure, so she let them unwind while cleaning up after them. But today was not one of those days. Ever since the preparations for the next Blue Lock phase started she felt like they were more and more chaotic, while she was losing herself more and more in all of her work. The whole week was just a whole mess for her, from running errands for Anri and Ego, to breaking up fights between the teammates, she just felt like giving up. Right now, she was enjoying some quiet time in the lunch hall, just drinking some tea while fighting back sleep.

"This morning was so tiring...." She winced while grabbing her stomach. This morning, Rin accidentally kicked the football past the goal, which ended up hitting (Y/n) in the stomach. This caused a loud argument between the captain, Isagi and Barou. (Y/n) tried to stop them, but the fussing coming from Aryu and Hiori stopped her. She was annoyed that they didn't let her handle the issue, instead Kurona and Yukimiya ended up dragging her toward the infirmary.

Next thing that happened was an hour after the first incident. Karasu and Otoya were practicing with Bachira and Aryu, (Y/n) was as usually sitting and taking down the stats of the 4. Nothing unusual. Until Bachira decided to goof around with the football and yell at (Y/n) to watch him do some tricks. She admitted, they were impressive, and she commented on how great they are. Her comments along with the impressed look on her face caused the other three to start doing the same. The problem was that there were 4 of them and (Y/n) would have to look every 2 seconds at a different player, which did make her dizzy. Ego had noticed the commotion and yelled at all 5 of them to get back to training.

The 3rd incident happened barely an hour ago at lunch time. (Y/n) was sitting with Gagamaru, Isagi and Chigiri during the time, and while talking with the 3, she didn't notice an argument between Kunigami and Nagi unfolding. Everyone knew that (Y/n) barely ever ate her dessert, it had too much protein, so she would always left it to one of the players to eat. The dessert was pretty much the highlight of their day and the team agreed on whoever got the most points for the day, will get the sweet treat. This arrangement worked for 2 months, but today was the first time that two players were tied in points.

Kunigami and Nagi were both known to be level headed and somewhat apathetic towards everything, except when it comes to their manager and her attention, that's when both are pretty much irrational.

"I think you seem to misunderstood me, Nagi. I am getting it today." Kunigami said, sending a tight smile towards the albino.

"And you seemed to have misunderstood me, Kunigami. But that pudding is mine."

"Calm down, you two." Niko rolled his eyes, still mad that he lost this time.

(Y/n), blissfully unaware of that whole agreement, noticed Gagamaru staring at her dessert. Knowing she won't eat it anyways, she decided to give it to him.

"Here. I won't eat. Hope you like strawberry flavor." She said, handing the surprised Gagamaru her food.

Chigiri and Isagi gasped silently. They shortly sent the flustered goalie jealous glares before looking at Kunigami and Nagi, who were staring degers at Gagamaru.

"A-are you sure?" The boy asked as (Y/n) nodded her head, smiling warmly at the boy.

"Of course-"

"Gagamaru, you traitor!" The two flinched and looked in surprise at Nagi.

"Ha?" (Y/n) panicked a little as she saw Kunigami and Nagi glaring at the duo.

"Keep it down, you two." Reo rolled his eyes, earning a nod from Tokimitsu.

"M-maybe we should let Gagamaru have-"

"Shut it, Tokimitsu!" Kunigami and Nagi yelled and then started arguing with Gagamaru. It eventually spread across the whole lunch room, and (Y/n) started twitching a little. Nobody was listening to her as she tried to calm it down. Was it the exhaustion or pure desperation to shut everyone up, but (Y/n) eventually started crying silently. Lost in her own thoughts while crying, she wasn't paying attention to what the rest were saying.

"I am the fastest. The dessert is mine!" Chigiri earned a show from Aryu at that.

"You forget I was in the top3 and I am the one with the better hair."

"Oh, shut up you peasants! You all are beneath me and (Y/n), therefore the pudding is mine."

"Says who? You, Barou? You do not have the charm to be anywhere near (Y/n)."

"Otoya, you cheated on your girlfriends. What makes you think you are worthy?" Yukimiya sighed.

"And what about you, Yukimiya? You are so plain, there is no way she will fall for you. Now me on the other hand-"

"Oh, shut up Karasu. Your charms are below Antarctica's temperatures." Niko groaned.

"I think the cutest one of us should get the pudding. So me-"

"Bachira, that would be me. I am also the ace, so that's just a bonus." Isagi smiled, earning a glare from Rin

"Pipe it down, you two can barely pick up a 2nd language." The captain added in.

"English is hard." The two protested.

"I think the richest one should have a say in the dessert." Reo smirked, earning louder protests.

Tokimitsu shivered a little in fright and looked over at (Y/n), freezing for a moment as he saw her crying.

"What's up, Tokimitsu?" Hiori wondered, one of the few who decided not to argue. Kurona looked over to where Tokimitsu was looking, and his eyes widened in surprise as he saw her crying too. He nudged Hiori.

"Look." Kurona said and the cyan-haired boy looked at (Y/n). He wasted no time and ran to her side, followed by Tokimitsu and Kurona.

"He-hey, don't take it to heart. They are stupid like that." Tokimitsu said as he patted the sobbing girl's back. Kurona and Hiori moved closer, both trying to calm her down, all three felt their hearts breaking as they watched her cry. The room grew slowly quiet too, as the rest looked at (Y/n) in concern and guilt.

"(Y/n)...." Chigiri gulped.

"It's just hard to keep up with you all. You keep arguing and destroying things at times... and it's just hard to keep up... I can usually take it, but I guess today isn't my day." A wave of guilt hit the team as they quickly scrambled for the right words. The last thing they wanted was for their (Y/n) to cry, or worse, contemplate on leaving them.

"Tokimitsu, go and take (Y/n) somewhere quiet to calm down. The rest of you stay here." Rin said, quickly getting unto his captain mode. The rest said nothing, deciding not to make things worse, and they watched with guilt and sadness as (Y/n) got dragged out by Tokimitsu.

"Alright, listen up." Rin spoke up, causing the rest to look at him.

"We need to pull our shit together, unless we want (Y/n) to leave and for some other manager to replace her. The team pretty much shuddered at the idea, there was no way someone will replace her!

"So, what's your idea, captain?" Barou wondered.

"I will tell you, but first... Reo, I need you to do some calls." The billionaire heir raised his eyebrow and slowly nodded his head.

And soo, that was what had happened. (Y/n) ended up crying for about 30 minutes as Tokimitsu stayed around, just in case. The boy was collected and calm, no sign of his previous fidgety demeanor. After she calmed down, she apologized to Tokimitsu for inconveniencing him, but the boy didn't mind.

"If you feel down again, don't be afraid to tell us. We will listen." The boy said with a smile, which calmed her down a lot.

After lunch, she went back to her normal duties, helping the other staff members and the team out. To her surprise, they didn't cause any ruckus, they were calm and friendly. Even Rin, Isagi and Barou stayed away from arguing with each other. Unbeknownst to her, whenever a staff member tried to scold her, Karasu, Aryu and Nagi would send them warning glares. They alone caused them to back off quickly. All in all, the day went pretty well, and (Y/n) felt a lot lighter now. She slowly walked into her bedroom, and stopped at the entrance as she noticed a box on her bed. Slowly walking towards it, she looked at the note on the box and slowly started reading it. (Y/n)'s eyes widened a little as she read it through, realizing that the team sent her this, and her heart melted at the apology they wrote out.

'They are chaotic... but I love them like that.' She smiled and slowly opened the box, only to find various treats that she could only buy outside of Blue Lock's facility, she even got a small (f/c) bear.

'They probably made Reo get this...' She chuckled and plopped on the bed, hugging the bear close to herself.

'I will make it up to them... maybe Teieri-san can help me get them some small gift next week.' She thought, slowly falling asleep.

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supernovafics · 9 months

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series masterlist | last part — next part

pairing: modern!actor!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 4.1k words

warnings: asshole!steve, explicit language, alcohol use, drunk!steve, angst

summary: you still don’t like him and he doesn’t like you, but things are a bit more bearable. and when steve is drunk and needs your help, you actually decide to help him

CHAPTER THREE | ❝𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅❞

As minor as it was, that night at Steve’s apartment changed something over the next few weeks.

Of course, you still didn’t like him and he didn’t like you— that was something that you knew would take a lot to change— but it felt a bit different now. That hint of animosity you felt for each other was channeled into you matching his asshole nature with a quippy attitude of your own, and him not seeming to mind you doing so.

It made things feel a little more bearable, and you actually found yourself not hating every single moment of being his assistant. But you still ended each day feeling exhausted because of the fact that you were juggling doing two jobs and working yourself to death to make sure everything was right; there were barely any moments where you could actually get a breather.

You found yourself cherishing sleep more than you probably ever had before. The barely six hours you’d get pretty much became the highlight of your nights, as depressing as that probably sounded. Therefore, when you were abruptly woken up in the middle of the night by the loud sound of your phone ringing, you groaned.

You rolled on your side to grab it and saw that the call was coming from a random number.

Somehow your mind immediately went to your parents. You didn’t talk to them a lot, for reasons that you tried not to dwell on too often, but you couldn’t help but think that a call from a random number in the middle of the night usually never meant anything good and most of the time it was a family related not-good thing.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” It was Steve’s voice on the other side.

You let out a small sigh in relief and then quickly became a little annoyed. “It’s one in the morning on a Saturday. This better be good, Harrington.”

“So, I, uh, need a little help,” He said, and there was something about the sound of his voice right then that fully woke you up.

You sat up in your bed and a small laugh almost fell from your lips. “Oh, my God. Are you drunk right now?”

Steve being drunk was something you never thought you’d see, or in this case, hear. In fact, the possibility of that happening never once crossed your mind because he seemed way too serious for that. You could see him having the occasional drink here and there, but full-on drunk seemed like a stretch.

“I hate how happy you sound about this,” He said with a scoff. “But, anyway, I can’t drive right now and my phone is dead so the bartender is letting me use his to call someone to pick me up.”

Hearing that confused you, making your eyebrows furrow. “I’m the only number you know by heart?”

“I don’t have you saved in my phone so anytime I text or call you I see your number and I've accidentally remembered it at this point,” He explained.

“Of course that’s the reason,” You responded with a roll of your eyes that you wish he could’ve seen. “Do you even know my name?”

He sighed at that. “Of course I do, I swear I hear someone say it at least five times a day when they drone on and on about how helpful you were at solving some issue or whatever the fuck else on set.”

You smirked at how annoyed he sounded. “Aw, are you jealous that you’re not the star of the show?”

“Well, I am the lead of the movie, so maybe I am a little jealous.”

“I’m quite flattered.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever,” He said and somehow you could practically hear him rolling his eyes. It was both hilarious and satisfying to know just how much you got under his skin even when he was drunk. “Are you gonna come or what?”

You mock gasped. “Wow, that’s really not the way to talk to someone that you need help from. Especially when that someone is really only supposed to be available to you during filming hours. And last time I checked, a night shoot isn’t scheduled until this Wednesday.”

“Can you please help and come pick me up?” He asked in the most deadpan voice you probably ever heard.

“For an award winning actor, the delivery on that line was pretty shitty,” You said as you laughed a bit. “But, I’ll still come get you. What’s the name of the bar?”

“Uh, I actually don’t remember. Hold on a second.” You could hear the phone being placed down as Steve began talking to who you assumed was the bartender; you could barely hear whatever they were saying. “Okay, it’s called Ace of Spades.”

You put him on speaker and then went to look up the bar. “What the hell? It says it’s an hour away.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Jesus Christ,” You said and shook your head as you shut your eyes because you desperately wanted to go back to sleep. “Why did you go there?”

“Wanted to lessen my chances of potentially getting recognized. The paparazzi would have a field day with this shit.”

That actually made a lot of sense, but you refused to tell him that.

You got out of bed and began rummaging around in your closet for a pair of sweatpants to slip on over your pajama shorts along with a jacket. “I’m coming now.”

“Thanks,” He said before you hung up.

That was the only completely serious “thank you” you’d ever gotten from him, and of course, you knew it was only because he was drunk.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The bar was in what felt like the absolute middle of nowhere and it also felt like the sort of place a horror movie would start in.

The parking lot was practically empty aside from a few cars, one of which you knew was Steve’s, so when you walked in, it was unsurprising to see that the place was also empty. However, you were surprised, or more so creeped out, by the amount of “country” vibes the place emulated; cowboy hats littering the walls along with American flags. There was even a massive deer head hanging up that you inwardly cringed at before turning your attention to the bartender standing behind the counter.

“Hey, I’m looking for–” Before you could even finish your statement he nodded his head in the direction of the series of booths that were a few feet away, one of which Steve was sitting at with his head down in his folded arms. You gave the bartender a small, grateful smile. “Thanks.”

You sat down across from Steve and leaned back in the booth. You simply looked at him for a brief moment before nudging his leg with your foot underneath the table. “Steve.”

He only mumbled something that you couldn’t make out and burrowed his head further in his arms.

With a small sigh, you reached out and began poking his head until he finally sat up and looked at you. “Oh, hey.”

The way he said the two simple words made it sound as if he was surprised to see you sitting in front of him.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him. “Hi? Do you not remember calling me?”

“Vaguely, yeah,” He said and when you scoffed with a shake of your head, he only smiled at you. “I’m kidding, I remember it very clearly. Me needing your help, and you being pissed at me calling. I feel like that’s how most of our phone calls go, actually.”

You rolled your eyes at how he easily simplified all of your conversations. “The only reason I’m ever pissed when I talk to you is because you’re being a dick.”

He completely disregarded your statement. “Nice shirt, by the way.”

Confused at his words, you looked down at the shirt you had on. It was a white t-shirt that had the Pepsi logo on it, but it said “Sexsi” in the middle of it instead of “Pepsi.” You’d completely forgotten you were wearing it.

You crossed your arms over your shirt. “I still can just leave you here, y’know.”

“That would suck.”

You almost laughed at that response because he somehow seemed even more drunk than when you talked to him on the phone. And it had been an hour, so he should’ve been at least a little less drunk at this point.

“Did you drink more after we talked?”

“Ben wanted to cut me off, but I tipped him really big so I could get two final shots,” Steve answered with a smile. “I’m just realizing that his name is Ben the Bartender. That’s honestly pretty fucking cool.”

“Oh, my God. I can’t believe this is happening right now,” You mumbled. A part of you wanted to laugh while the other part of you just wanted to stare at him in disbelief. “If you puke in my car, I will leave you on the side of the highway.”

“Very, very harsh,” He responded as he leaned back and closed his eyes, but only for a moment because you gave him another nudge under the table.

“Come on, let’s go,” You said before slipping out of the booth. “You can walk okay, right?”

Steve rolled his eyes at you as if he was offended by your question and then stepped out of the booth, but he only made it a few steps before he stumbled a bit. You sighed as you moved closer to his side, draping one of his arms around your shoulders and wrapping one of yours around him. You started leading him toward the door.

“Wait, you paid your tab, right?” You asked, but before giving Steve a chance to answer you, you turned your attention toward Ben who was still standing behind the bar and was now cleaning up. “He paid his tab, right?”

“Yeah, he’s all good,” Ben responded and you nodded, glad that you didn’t have to worry about that. You kept heading toward the door and then he spoke again before you pushed it open. “You’re a good girlfriend.”

You knew that you’d never see this guy again so you didn’t care enough to correct the mistake. Instead, you gave him a weak smile and just continued leading Steve out of the bar and toward your car.

Steve laughed a bit as he settled in the passenger seat. “He thought you were my girlfriend?”

“Shut up,” You said and then handed him a water bottle that you had grabbed from your fridge because you knew that he’d probably need it. “Drink this.”

He nodded before taking a few sips and then placing the bottle in his lap. “Can I charge my phone?”

“Yeah, the cord’s right there.” You pointed to the center console.

You had been driving for no more than fifteen minutes before you got stuck in traffic that was nothing like what you experienced driving to the bar. There was a bunch of construction happening that, according to a sign, was going to go on for the next twenty miles.

“I truly deserve a fucking raise for doing this,” You said as you slumped back in your seat. Your car was barely moving above ten miles per hour.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Steve said in a tone that sounded completely unserious and sarcastic, and then he reached over to pat your head.

You glared harshly at him. “Don’t ever do that again.”

He only laughed a bit at your annoyance and then nodded his head. “Got it.”

From there, you both allowed silence, aside from the music softly playing on the radio, to take over the car, which you were fine with. In fact, you’d take complete silence over hearing whatever dumb drunk comments Steve would make.

But after only a few minutes of that, you were reminded of a question that had been on your mind probably since he called you. “What were you doing at a bar, anyway?”

Your question was met with nothing but more silence, and for a moment you actually felt bad asking that question because maybe it was a touchy subject for him. But when you looked over at Steve, you saw that he was fast asleep; eyes shut and leaning back against the headrest.

You let out a small sigh and continued driving, still barely moving anywhere over the next ten minutes. Conveniently, that was when Steve’s phone started vibrating in the cup holder where he placed it. You glanced down and saw that he was getting a call from someone named “Robin,” and you simply watched as it continued to ring and then went to voicemail.

You expected that to be it, but then his phone started ringing again from the same person. You hesitated for a brief moment before letting it go to voicemail that time as well. But, it was on the third call that you decided you needed to answer it because apparently Robin really wanted to talk to Steve and maybe them calling multiple times meant that it was important.

You placed the phone at your ear. “Hello?”

“Hi,” It was a girl’s voice on the other end. “Uh, who is this?”

You could understand her confusion so you quickly said, “I’m Steve’s assistant.”

“You don’t sound like Sheila.”

You were startled by the sudden sharpness of her words, and you quickly came to the conclusion that maybe you shouldn’t have answered the call. You took a breath before speaking again. “Sheila is pregnant and on bed rest, so I’m his assistant for the time being.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, I forgot she was pregnant.” Robin said and then sighed. “Sorry for being kinda hostile. Steve’s my best friend, and it’s still so weird having a friend that’s famous. I’m never sure if I’m talking to a normal person or his stalker who’s kidnapping him. Glad to know you’re not a kidnapper.”

“I’m glad too? Sorry, I don’t really know how to respond to that, but I think I get what you mean,” You let out a small laugh and took a quick glance over at Steve and saw that he was, unsurprisingly, still sleeping. “But, Steve’s unavailable right now, so I can tell him to call you back, or I can give him a message if you want, I guess?”

“Yeah, um, just tell him that we missed him at Nancy and Jonanthan’s wedding, and we all wish he could’ve been here.”

Hearing that managed to both confuse and surprise you, but you still nodded your head even though she couldn’t see you. “Okay, got it. I’ll tell him.”

Somehow it was easy to hear the smile in her voice as she said, “Thanks.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” You responded and the call ended from there.

You took another glance at Steve as you put his phone down back in the cup holder, and it was then that you realized how little you actually knew about him. Yes, the news articles that were centered around him told you things and even the short conversations you’d had with him over the past few weeks of being his assistant told you some stuff too, but none of it really told you anything.

It didn't tell you about his life outside of the film industry and Hollywood, and it definitely didn’t tell you that he was missing out on important moments with friends and family because of filming and everything that came along with it.

Maybe that was what led him to the bar; feeling something that resembled homesickness because he was missing out on an important moment for people that were his friends— or maybe even family; you were unsure of who exactly Nancy and Jonathan were.

You knew how lonely of a job this whole acting thing could be, you’d been working in the film industry for so long that it was way too easy to see that; and sometimes it was even easier to feel it so harshly in your own way. You couldn’t even remember the last time you actually hung out with friends or accepted an invitation to do something fun with them. Instead, your mind was always on your job, focused fully on production and making sure everything was running smoothly.

There were little moments where you hated how much you let the job consume your life— surely there was a better way to balance it all— but seeing everything come together in the end made it all worth it in your mind. You wondered if Steve felt the same way too.

But, if that was the case, then he probably wouldn’t be drunk in your passenger seat on the same night that he was missing out on a wedding that his friends and family all wished he could’ve been at.

Or maybe that was exactly why he was drunk in your passenger seat. He’d rather drink to avoid the sadness, and maybe even that all too familiar feeling of loneliness, rather than face it or even dwell on it because he believed that all of this would be worth it in the end.

You were unsure of how right that assumption was— perhaps it was your sleep deprived brain making him seem more human than he actually was— but that potentially delusional thought still managed to change something for you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It was the sound of your front door opening that slightly woke you up. And then it was you realizing that you shouldn’t even hear your front door opening from your bedroom that fully woke you up and made you immediately remember that you had decided to sleep on the couch.

Many hours earlier, after enduring a near ninety minute drive back to LA, you decided to bring Steve back to your place; mainly because it seemed like it would’ve been too much work to lug him up to his own apartment, and also because, for some reason, it didn’t feel right to simply leave him and go. You let him take your bed and prayed to God that he wouldn't throw up in it before you settled yourself on your couch and immediately fell asleep.

Now, hours later, you were awake but still a bit bleary-eyed as your attention turned toward the door and you saw Steve shut it behind him.

He offered you a small smile as you took in the sight of him. Two drinks balancing in one of those cardboard cup holder things in one hand, and a bag with the words “Tommy’s Coffee” branded on the side of it in his other— it was the same place where you would get his coffee and breakfast sandwich from practically every morning.

Steve set everything on the dining room table. “I had it delivered.”

You nodded at that and walked over to him, the blanket that you pulled from your linen closet to sleep with last night still wrapped around you.

The exchange was silent. Steve handed you the slightly smaller drink and then a wrapped up breakfast sandwich, and you watched as he took a sip of his own coffee and sat down.

You took a long sip of yours and almost sighed in contentment at how perfect it was, and then you unwrapped the breakfast sandwich and saw that it was exactly what you would always get.

Things stayed quiet as you both started eating, and it was a silence that felt weird and awkward. Mainly because what was happening right then was completely unchartered territory. A part of you thought that you’d wake up and he’d just be gone; like the drunk incident never happened and neither of you would bring it up come Monday or any day after that. You definitely didn’t expect to be eating breakfast with him, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that meant you were supposed to discuss last night.

Finally, you decided to speak, but not about what would’ve probably made sense to talk about. “How did you know what to get me?”

“Whenever you give me my coffee and food, the receipt is on the bag, and it shows what you ordered for yourself,” He answered and that response actually surprised you, but you wouldn’t ever tell him that.

“Very observant,” You said and then took another sip from your coffee. You fully expected him to follow up with saying something about how he only remembered your order because it “sucked,” the opening was right there for him to make that sort of annoying comment, but he didn’t. “Um, thank you for this, though.”

Steve shook his head at you as if you shouldn’t have been thanking him. “Thanks for last night. I don’t remember a lot of it, but still,” His shoulders upturned in a small shrug. “You also really didn’t have to let me take your bed.”

“The couch sucks for tall people, and I didn’t want to subject you to that,” Your answer was only partially true, you mainly gave him your bed because, despite everything, you felt bad for him. If he was sad or lonely or whatever else, it would’ve sucked waking up on your old couch which you’ve had for years and probably should’ve gotten rid of at this point.

“Oh, also,” You started and then immediately stopped talking because you were unsure how to continue. You looked away from him for a brief moment; you were nervous and you hated that you were. “Uh, when you were asleep in my car last night your phone was ringing a lot, so I answered it because I thought maybe it was important. It was Robin, she said she was your friend. She also told me to tell you that you were missed at Nancy and Jonathan’s wedding and everyone wishes you could’ve gone. You should probably call her back when you get the chance.”

He only nodded before simply saying, “Okay,” and then took another bite of his sandwich.

You became even more nervous, and equally confused, at the fact that things were so normal right then. And it was far from the normal that you’d become so used to with him; he wasn’t mad or annoyed at you, and he was actually being somewhat nice to you and not at all an asshole.

That made you further think that what you assumed last night was the truth. And there was something about his demeanor right then that told you that maybe he was still a little sad about it all.

“You know if you had wanted to go to the wedding, I'm sure Jessie would’ve been okay with pushing filming back; she's really understanding of personal stuff. And plus, we’re actually a bit ahead on filming so it probably would’ve been okay having a break for a day or two.”

“It’s not…” He trailed off and shook his head. “It’s not that.”

It was easy to tell that he didn’t want to talk about it— the wedding, his friends, that part of his life that didn’t involve acting— so you didn’t push him further on any of it, although you were so fucking curious.

“Okay,” You said softly and then cleared your throat. “So, your car is still stranded at the bar. We should probably go get that.”

“You don’t have to come. I can figure out another way to get it.”

You shook your head. “No, it’s okay. But I refuse to make that drive three times in a row, so you can drive there and I’ll sleep in the passenger seat.”

He laughed a bit, it was a sound that was so foreign to your ears but you didn’t mind it. “Honestly, that’s a very fair deal.”

It felt weird to genuinely smile at him but you did so anyway.

You were unsure what was happening right then, and what things would be like Monday felt like a mystery to you. A part of you wanted it all to go back to how it had been— him being rude and you dealing with it— because this Steve in front of you wasn’t the one that you’d grown to know over the past few weeks.

But then you once again remembered that you actually didn’t really know him. And maybe now you were finally getting a glimpse into that.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

next chapter!

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington series #steve harrington fic #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things fic #stranger things imagine #stranger things series #stranger things smut #stranger things fluff #steve harrington x y/n

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anna-hawk · 4 months

Text

Getting down to business

Julian Kaye x F!Reader

Summary: You run across Julian Kaye on several occasions at the hotel your friend works at. Each time you see him, you are more and more fascinated by his easy charm. After one specific evening, you finally decide to make a business transaction with him in the hopes that Julian will be able to satisfy you in a way that no other man ever has.

Warning/Tags: oral sex (f!receiving), sex work, shy reader, body worship, fluff and smut

WC: 9.5k // Explicit 🔞

This is written for the Naughty or Nice Bernthirst Prompt Fest. The prompt was on the Naughty list and was “Keep your eyes open, look at me.” with Julian Kaye. Idk whose prompt it is, but I hope that I was able to work it into my initial idea well enough. I definitely had an incredible time writing for Julian, and it's some of the softest, yet still intense smut I've written. And we have a shy reader this time, which is also kind of a first for me.

Happy holidays everyone 🎉

Looking around yourself to take the whole restaurant in again, your eyes fell to the crystal chandelier hanging above the table you were sitting at with your three friends. It sparkled under the soft lights of the venue, giving the place an even more luxurious appearance than the rest of the decor already did. Your eyes travelled away from the chandelier and moved to the bar lying in your line of sight, where a man was sitting at, deep in conversation with the woman next to him. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint what about him had attracted your eyes enough that you’d kept looking back towards him every few minutes since he’d sat down, but you’d found him intriguing right off the bat. He’d joined the woman he was still talking to a good twenty minutes ago, and she’d welcomed him with a seductive smile, which he’d returned with a sultry twist to his lips. They were nursing a glass of wine each, taking a sip here or there, as they kept their heads together while they spoke. You had no idea what they were talking about since, even if there hadn’t been some soft music playing, they were too far away for you to hear anything. From the body language, however, it was still pretty clear that they’d be leaving the hotel together. Or maybe get a room.

You finally returned your attention to your friends, laughing when, Chloe, the birthday girl, got all excited as the waiter arrived with a small cake, three sparklers crackling on top of it. Clarissa, one of your two other friends, worked at the hotel and had managed to secure a table for tonight, the restaurant being fully booked on most evenings. The food was as delicious as expected, and the dessert proved just as good. While you were savoring the rich cream of the chocolate dessert, you glanced back to the man, only to find him standing and holding out his hand for the woman. You watched how she shot him a falsely coy smile before taking his hand and joining his side.

“Looks like Julian has found a new client,” Clarissa chuckled next to you, and you noticed that she was looking in the same direction as you.

“Julian?” You frowned curiously at her use of the word client. “Do you know him?”

“Sure. He’s an escort. He’s good friends with the head concierge, and the costumers he brings in are always super rich and leave huge tips. Well… I think they’re this generous because something else is huge,” Clarissa cackled at her joke, while Chloe and Zara snorted.

Your eyes widened at the information. An escort? Looking him over with a new eye, you thought that he did fit the part. He was dressed to the nines, not a piece of clothing out of place, as was his impeccable hair, while the fitted suit he was wearing perfectly highlighted his body. He definitely looked like his clientele was from the upper crust.

“Wonder how much a night with him is,” Chloe mused with an appreciative glance over her shoulder to look at the man while the two others laughed.

“I don’t know, but I don’t think you could hire Julian Kaye with your teacher’s salary,” Clarissa winked at her, and Chloe flipped her off good-naturedly.

“So he’s that good, huh?” you asked without meaning to as you watched Julian vanish towards the elevators with the woman. So they would be staying at the hotel.

“From what I heard.” Clarissa shrugged. “I mean, he’s really nice and all, and he’s always super discreet with his clients. I’ve never been able to really overhear them talk whenever I was serving drinks while he was there. I think that’s what the ladies like about him… But rumor is that none of his clients ever left unsatisfied. You only need to see the looks on their faces when they leave,” she chuckled.

The conversation steered into another direction after that, but your eyes kept returning to where the couple had left, like you were expecting to see them again and witness the proof of Clarissa’s words. Giving yourself a mental head shake as it happened for the fourth time, you forced yourself to stop and spent the rest of the evening steadfastly ignoring that corner of the hotel.

A few days later, you made your way through the main hall of the hotel and towards the bar of the restaurant, intending to find Clarissa. You’d left a jacket at her place a few weeks earlier and had asked her to bring it today since the hotel was on your way home from work.

Since it was late afternoon, there was only a low number of people at the bar. Julian Kaye was one of them, however. The man was sitting at the opposite end of the bar from where you were standing. This time, you were much closer to him than the first time you’d seen him, giving you the chance to take him in some more. He was sitting with his profile to you, giving you a perfect view of his chiseled jaw and the straight slope of his broad nose. Your eyes traveled to his lips as he smiled at something he was seeing on his phone, the relaxed expression looking at odds with the flirty smiles you’d seen a few nights earlier. Appearance wise, he looked just as fetching as the other day. This time, he was wearing a dark green suit that flattered his skin tone, and a pair of shiny black loafers. His hair fell slightly into his face from how he was leaning over the phone, but he brushed it back up by sliding his fingers through it. Watching him like this, you had no doubt that this man could have any woman he wanted.

“Oh, hey, you’re already here.”

You blinked back to reality and turned your head away from Julian to face Clarissa, now standing across from you behind the bar.

“Uh, yeah, hi, I was done earlier than expected, so I figured I could just grab a drink while I’m here before heading home.”

Clarissa beamed at your decision to stay for a while longer before she returned to the staff room to grab the jacket for you. You thanked her with a smile and plopped down on the stool in front of her.

“The usual?” Clarissa asked, already reaching for a glass on the shelf behind her.

You shrugged with a thoughtful look. “Why don’t you surprise me and mix something for me?”

She grinned brightly and nodded excitedly; Clarissa was always sure to come up with some delicious cocktail.

After you’d been chatting for some time while she busied herself with cleaning this or that item or serving customers, you suddenly noticed a tall form moving closer to you and a pleasant scent reaching your nose. Turning your head in the direction of the person, your eyes widened when you saw Julian standing barely a foot away from you as he leaned over the bar and towards Clarissa.

“Hey, Clarissa, could you send us two whiskeys down there, please? Top shelf.” He extended a hand with a crisp dollar bill clamped between his index and middle finger.

His voice was smooth and low as he spoke. It wasn’t particularly deep, but the soft, almost private sounding tone he used along with his friendly smile had a warm tingle running down your spine.

“Coming right up,” Clarissa grinned, snagging the bill from his fingers and going to work instantly.

Julian smiled back, before his face turned a bit and his eyes landed on you. You could feel your face heating under his attention, and were only able to stare at him wordlessly. His head titled faintly to the side as his lips pulled up more to one side. He was smirking at you, but there was only curious amusement in it.

“You’re Clarissa’s friend?” he inquired, turning his whole body towards you this time. “Think I’ve seen you here a couple times before.”

Your eyes widened slightly at finding out that Julian had noticed you, even if it was only in relation to Clarissa.

“Oh — um, yes.”

You didn’t get the chance to say anything more, since Clarissa came back with two tumblers of whiskey and pushed them over the dark wood of the bar and towards Julian.

“Here you go.”

Julian grinned at her and picked the glasses up with a soft “Thank you”, then shot you a light wink before returning to the end of the bar where a woman was sitting.

“He seems nice,” you mentioned to Clarissa in a completely fake nonchalant tone as you took a sip from your drink, not wanting to give away how curious you were about this Julian Kaye.

“Julian? Yeah. Like I said the other day, he’s a really nice guy.” She held up the money he’d given her. “And a big tipper too. I’ve stopped trying to give him back any change, and he’s stopped telling me to keep it,” she said with a small laugh, moving to the side to finish the transaction with the till.

“And the owner doesn’t mind him … working here?” you kept asking, glancing back towards Julian to see his lips pull into a playful smile at what the woman was telling him. He really had a beautiful mouth.

Clarissa shrugged. “It’s LA, right? I guess everyone wins in this situation and as long as there are no issues, no one really cares.”

You nodded, seeing her point.

“Besides, it’s not like he’s here every night, either. He probably has his regulars here and there, and I know that he’s taken one or two of the women here to some fancy events.”

Humming at her explanation, you chose to change the subject, no matter how much you wanted to ask more questions.

As you finally made your goodbyes twenty minutes later, you noticed that Julian was standing too and offering his arm to the woman. She seemed to be in her late 50s or early 60s, the plastic surgery she had gotten done making it harder to determine. As you slowly followed behind them to get to the exit of the restaurant, Julian noticed you as they stepped outside. He sent you a small smile and a nod of farewell, which you echoed shyly. You consciously refrained yourself from looking back at where he’d walked off to this time, and headed down in the opposite direction.

In the following days, your mind regularly returned to Julian. And his job. You had no doubt that the man actually had several clients over the whole city. He was beautiful and charming, and the way he looked at the person he was talking to made it seem like they had his full attention. You’d seen it during the two times he’d been talking to either of these women, but also when he’d talked to you. As short as the encounter had been, he’d really looked at you.

Clarissa’s words also kept repeating in your head: Rumor is that none of his clients ever left unsatisfied. You bit the inside of your cheek each time you remembered that part and thought of his lips, wondering if… but then you shook your head, feeling ridiculous for entertaining that thought for even a second.

That Saturday evening, you once again made your way through the hotel lobby and into the restaurant, looking for Clarissa. You and the girls were going out tonight, but Clarissa had to work a longer shift than anticipated due to one of her coworkers calling in sick. You’d offered to run by her place and pick up a few things for her so she could change at the hotel, and you’d go straight from there.

Clarissa watched you approach with a bright smile, making grabby hands at the little bag you’d brought her with her stuff inside.

“You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I thought the day would never end,” she sighed as you handed her the bag over the bar. “Thanks, I’ll be out front in a sec. Wanna drink something while you wait?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll just sit down over there.” You motioned to one of the small bar tables with your chin.

Clarissa nodded and ran through the ‘employees only’ door at the back of the bar.

While you waited, you let your eyes move around the bar, absently looking at the patrons coming in and out of the restaurant.

“You’re by yourself tonight?” asked a low voice close by, making your head jerk in its direction.

Julian was standing to the side of your table, smiling down at you with this soft expression that you realized was his natural smile. Today, he’d gone for dark gray slacks and a burgundy button down shirt, the top two buttons undone and the jacket thrown over one arm. Your heart started beating faster at the sight of him and the attention that was directed solely on you. You took in a deep breath to calm yourself, doing it slowly and hoping that Julian didn’t notice it.

“Uh, no. I’m waiting for Clarissa to get ready to leave.”

Julian gave you a once over, making more heat run over your face and neck.

“Going somewhere?”

“Uh huh… I mean, yes. We’re trying out this new, uh, restaurant down town and… yeah.”

You wanted to sink through the floor with how awkward you felt. Smooth? You didn’t know them.

“Yeah? What’s the place called?”

If he noticed your distress, he didn’t show it. Instead, he seemed so honestly interested that it rendered you to an even bigger stuttering mess.

“Oh, um…” you blinked a few times, unable to remember the name of the restaurant. “It was, uh… something Italian?”

Julian’s mouth quirked to the side in amusement, but it wasn’t mocking. If anything, it looked actually sort of fond, which had your heart doing double time. You also had to force yourself to not let your eyes stare at his expressive mouth.

You jerked in your seat at the call of your name a moment later, breaking the spell Julian had put on you with his eyes alone, and swiveled your head to see Clarissa walking up to the table.

“I’m ready when you are,” she announced with a grin, before she looked at Julian. “Hey, Julian.”

“Hey,” Julian smiled, right before someone called out his name from down the bar, and he turned towards the voice.

You and Clarissa followed his gaze and found a woman dressed in an elegant jumpsuit waiting for Julian at the entrance of the restaurant.

“Ladies, if you’ll excuse me… Have a nice evening at that Italian place,” Julian smiled charmingly at the two of you. “It was nice seeing you again,” he added just for you, and the way he said your name at the end had warmth curling in your belly.

Somehow, the simple use of your name also helped you make a choice about something that you hadn’t consciously been thinking about; or rather, not allowed yourself to really think about.

“You too,” you managed, as you got up and joined Clarissa, a rush of nervousness and exhilaration washing over you at your decision.

Julian smiled again and gave you a nod while you and Clarissa said goodbye. You watched him walk towards the woman with long and smooth strides, making you instantly picture a panther.

“Okay, let’s go,” Clarissa said, checking her phone. “Zara just texted that they’re already there.”

You nodded and followed her as you hurried out of the hotel.

“What’s the name of the restaurant again, by the way? Josh asked me earlier, but I couldn’t remember,” she asked a minute later, as you walked towards the nearest subway station.

“Leoncini’s,” you replied automatically, still lost in thought.

You mentally facepalmed a second later because, of course, now you remembered the name. If you decided to go through with your plan, then you would have to make sure that you would be able to string along more than one coherent sentence.

Several hours later and after a fun evening with the girls, you laid in bed but were unable to go to sleep despite your tiredness. You felt both absolutely ridiculous, but also incredibly excited about your decision, which had you going back and forth on going through with it or not.

But you were so curious, and the thought of Julian doing this to you had you squeezing your legs together. The fact that you were paying for his services was the part that made you the most self-conscious. But then, at least you could be sure that he’d take care of you, right?

Grabbing one of your pillows, you pressed it over your face and groaned into it with exasperation and frustration, leaving it there for a good minute. As you finally removed it, your face now hot from embarrassment and the pillow itself, you stared at the ceiling and breathed in deeply. Once. You were going to do this once. For yourself.

Deciding on how to approach Julian about the whole thing took you several days of psyching yourself into actually doing it. It was one thing to decide that you wanted to do it, and another one to actually go through with it. One thing was certain, the only place you knew Julian to regularly be at was the hotel, which meant that Clarissa couldn’t be working on the day you went there. Thankfully, you talked about your respective jobs often enough that you knew when she was off the following week. You could only hope that Julian would be there as well, since Clarissa had told you that he wasn’t there every night.

That Friday evening, you made sure to put extra care in what you were wearing. Julian would probably not be available the same night, which was fine by you, but you still wanted to look your best while making your request.

Your heart was beating like crazy during the whole time it took you to get to the hotel, and you had to shake out your hands before going in to stop your nervous twitching. With one final deep breath, you walked through the lobby, nodding at the person behind the reception desk since you knew them — hopefully he wouldn’t tell Clarissa about seeing you today — and entered the restaurant. You scanned the bar and the tables lined up in front of it. Not seeing him, you looked towards the restaurant tables, but you were just as unsuccessful in finding Julian. Heaving a sigh, you bit over your lower lip, wondering about what to do. You couldn’t be sure that he would come at all, but maybe he’d be in a little later. With a look at the bar, you chose to take a seat there and have a drink. Thankfully, you didn’t remember meeting the bartender who took your order.

Nearly a whole hour passed before you started to think that tonight would be one of those nights where Julian wouldn’t show up. You checked your phone for the time again, and sighed, about to get up, when you heard laughter and lifted your head towards the doors. Julian, dressed in a deep blue suit, walked through them with another man, the latter laughing loudly, while Julian chuckled and shook his head. Your heart, which had had the time to calm down in the past hour, found the same nervous rhythm as when you’d first arrived. You closed your hands into fists over your thighs before rubbing your palms over them. Julian was walking in your direction, and you tried to angle your body so he would see that it was you, but also not make it obvious that you were hoping that he’d see you. Picking up your second drink and surreptitiously glancing up from under your lashes as you watched them come closer, you saw Julian listening to something the other man was saying while letting his eyes drift over the room. Recognition sparked in his eyes as his gaze landed on you. You met his eyes when his lips pulled into a smile, and sent him a small one in return.

“Hey, how’re you doing?” Julian asked, stopping at your level.

“Good, thank you,” you smiled, turning your glass in your hands before stopping the nervous motion.

Julian looked around the bar and tilted his head.

“Clarissa here?”

Your eyes widened briefly at his question. Of course, he supposed you were here for Clarissa again.

“Uh, no, she’s off today.”

Julian’s eyes went back to you, but you were unable to meet them. You stared into your glass instead.

“Julian?” asked the other man after a beat of silence.

You lifted your eyes again to see Julian looking at the man and nodding.

“Have a good evening,” Julian said with a small smile directed at you and began walking again.

Shit. You’d had the perfect opportunity, but you totally blew it by not engaging more with him, and now he was walking away.

Feeling like a fool, you stared at his slowly retreating back and sighed loudly.

“Julian!”

Julian looked back at you with the same surprise that you were feeling, since you hadn’t consciously decided to call out his name. Tightening your jaw with new resolve, you put your drink back on the bar and slid from the stool to take a step in Julian’s direction.

“Do you maybe have a minute?”

Frowning slightly for a second, Julian shot a look towards the other man.

“I’ll join you later,” he told him.

The man gave you a quizzical look, but agreed and continued on alone.

With his hands in the pockets of his pants, Julian slowly walked back to you, stopping a few feet away.

“What’s-”

“Could we do this somewhere more private?” you cut in, nervously glancing around you and wringing your hands.

Frowning again and squinting at you curiously, Julian motioned for you to follow him out of the restaurant and towards a somewhat secluded alcove.

“What can I do for you, Sweetheart?”

Your heart missed a beat at the endearment. By the way he was looking at you and his soft tone, Julian was clearly concerned about your need to talk to him. It took you another second to find your voice again and get your thoughts in order.

“Okay, so, um… First off, I need this to stay between us. Clarissa can’t know, okay?”

Julian nodded slowly, one eyebrow lifting questioningly.

“Of course.”

Nodding as well, you blew out a loud breath and uttered a small, nervous laugh. Now or never.

“Right, so…” you stalled for a second before powering on. “I’d like to… um… hire your services?”

Now both of Julian’s eyebrows shot up towards his hairline, as he’d clearly not expected anything of the sort. His head tilted to one side as he considered you, his back straightening and his hands going back into his pants.

“And what kind of services would you like?” he wondered, taking a step closer to you as his voice lowered, turning more private.

Willing the heat of embarrassment suffusing your face away, you bit over your bottom lip and glanced into his eyes before looking away again.

“I would like you to make me come with only your mouth,” you replied quietly, forcing the blunt words out so there wouldn’t be any doubts about what you wanted or expected from him.

Julian was quiet for a moment before he spoke again.

“That’s it? Nothing else?”

Looking at his questioning eyes, you nodded with a one-sided shrug.

“I’ve never been able to get there with my previous partners, so,” you trailed off with another self-conscious shrug.

“Then you haven’t been with any decent men,” Julian said with an unimpressed look on his face at the knowledge that seemingly no one had made enough of an effort for you.

A small, surprised laugh escaped you at the vehemence in his tone.

“Maybe, I don’t know, but…” you sighed. “I tend to, you know, always be too much in my head. Like, I can’t fully let go, I guess.”

Julian observed you quietly for a few seconds.

“What makes you think it’ll be different with me?”

You’d asked yourself the same question, so the answer came quickly this time.

“I suppose, well, hope really, that since there’s no pressure whatsoever for anything else beyond that, I’ll be able to, well, get out of my head.” You laughed under your breath. “And I have more confidence that you know what you’re doing.”

Julian chuckled at the last part, and he hummed thoughtfully.

“And when would you like this to happen?”

“So you agree?” you asked, eyes wide at his easy acceptance.

He huffed out a small laugh of equal surprise and let his eyes travel over you. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Heat blooming on your face, you looked away with a small smile.

“Well… I’m usually free on any nights, so… Whenever you’re free, I guess… And,” you hesitated for a second? “What do you charge for that?”

Julian pulled out his phone from the inside of his jacket and scanned it for a minute.

“How about tomorrow?” he suggested, throwing you a brief look over the top of his phone as he typed.

“Oh… um, okay.”

“Here okay, or you wanna go somewhere else?”

You’d thought about that and even considered asking him back to your place if he agreed, but you’d quickly decided that you’d rather it happen somewhere neutral. You laughed nervously.

“Here would be fine by me, but I can barely afford more than two drinks here once in a while without having to eat cup noodles for the following week. So paying you and a room…” you laughed with a grimace and let the end of the sentence unspoken, the meaning clear without you voicing it. You were in a luxury hotel, and the drinks definitely followed the general rates of the establishment. Only Clarissa working here got you a small discount. “I’ll have to think about-”

“Tell you what… I can usually get a room here without problem,” Julian told you with a smile.

“Oh… Really? I guess… If you’re sure, then that would be… great.”

Nodding decisively, Julian shook his phone and motioned it at you.

“Can I have your phone number?”

“Oh… Yes, sure.”

You recited the number while Julian typed it into his phone, then your own vibrated in your purse.

“I sent you the rates,” Julian explained as you pulled your phone out of your purse.

You stared at the price popping up in the texts. It was expensive, but far less than you had expected, which was a good thing. Looking back at Julian, you gave him a succession of quick nods of agreement.

“Um… how… do you prefer your payments? Do I wire them or, um… ugh, I’m sorry for being so awkward about all this… I keep feeling like I’m going to say something really offensive and ask the wrong question at some point.”

You huffed out an exasperated laugh and rubbed your palms over your arms.

“Don’t be,” Julian smiled gently, leaning forward to catch your gaze, which you had averted during your muttering. “Never anything wrong with asking for what you want. Any woman should be taken care of the way she deserves to. That’s what I’m here for.”

You bit your lip at the heartfelt words, and gave him a small, grateful smile for putting you at ease.

“As for your question. Wired, cash, however’s fine by me,” he added.

“‘kay… Is there something… I should… be aware of? Like dos and don’ts?”

Julian considered you for a little moment and shook his head minutely.

“Think about what you’ll be comfortable doing. Or me doing to you. I’ll follow your lead. But we can always go with the flow, see how I can get you out of that pretty head of yours.” He pointed at your forehead with a small chuckle.

“Oh… yeah, okay.”

Your breathing ticked up a notch at his words.

“Right… Wanna meet in this spot tomorrow around 9?”

“Yeah,” you stopped yourself from saying okay again. You couldn’t remember how often you must have said it tonight, or any variation of it.

“Good,” Julian smiled, pocketing his phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Tomorrow,” you smiled back, nodding.

With a last nod of goodbye, Julian turned around and walked back into the restaurant, leaving you to stare after him with a still baffled expression. This was actually going to happen. You were going to have that gorgeous man’s mouth on you. A shiver of anticipation ran down your spine.

When you woke up the next morning after barely getting any sleep the previous night from all the excitement and nervousness of what was to come, you started wondering if going to the hotel was the best idea. What if someone recognized you and saw you with Julian, only to tell Clarissa about it? Sure, it was none of her business, but you still didn’t feel like sharing what you were going to do with her or any of your two other friends. You couldn’t be sure that they’d understand; it was quite an unconventional request coming from you.

After lying around in bed for an hour and going back and forth with your emotions on the matter, you finally put a lid on all of it and decided to just go for it. It was only tonight, you’d be discreet and even if someone saw you, what did they actually know that wouldn’t be anything more than wild assumptions? With a decisive nod, you got up and went about your day, trying to push any thoughts of that evening to the back of your mind so they wouldn’t distract you too much. Which you weren’t that successful at since you weren’t working and hadn’t planned anything in particular except for doing some chores.

By the end of the day, you were a nervous wreck and only managed to go through the process of getting ready on autopilot. Before you knew it, it was ten minutes to nine, and you were, once again, standing in front of the hotel. Quickly going through the lobby and avoiding the reception desk just in case, you arrived at the alcove and found Julian already standing there. He was leaning against the wall, his stance relaxed with one ankle crossed over the other, while he looked at his phone. He’d gone for a charcoal suit with a dark red button down shirt. You swallowed at the outfit, as well as at his sharp jaw that looked freshly shaved and at his nose that scrunched up in thought. That gorgeous man would be yours for the night.

Julian’s head lifted as you came closer, his hair falling slightly into his eyes from the motion. Your breath caught as he smiled, one side of his mouth pulling up more than the other.

“Hey,” he said and turned to you, taking a few steps in your direction to meet you halfway while his eyes swept over you. “You look beautiful.”

“Hey,” you replied in kind, except that it came out breathless and almost inaudible. “Thank you,” you managed after another breath, your face feeling hot.

“Is there something you’d like to do before we go up or…?” Julian inquired, putting his hands in his pockets, but still leaning closer to you.

“Um, no, I think I’m good,” you muttered, trying to get your heart beat under control.

Julian nodded with a small smile and extended an arm in the direction you were going into before leading the way. As you silently followed him to the elevators, you glanced down at his hands that were still sitting in his pants. He hadn’t touched you at all. He’d come closer, as he’d done yesterday evening, talked in a seductive voice, but he hadn’t touched you, keeping his hands to himself at all times. As excited for that to change as you were, you realized that he was doing it on purpose and clearly for your sake, considering how he hadn't refrained from touching his other clients. You felt immeasurably glad about him picking up on you being apprehensive of being touched in public. Thus far, Julian had been incredibly professional about everything. He had been surprised by your initial approach, but as soon as he’d understood what you were looking for, he’d never acted in any way or said anything to make you feel uncomfortable or ashamed about what you were asking for. You rode the elevator in silence, but you noticed that Julian was giving you furtive glances every few seconds. It wasn’t until you’d walked up to the suite’s door — yes, he’d gotten you a goddamn suite — that Julian finally spoke.

“Just so we’re clear. Anything that is going to happen in this room, or not happen for that matter, is fully up to you. You choose that we stop here, that’s totally fine. Got it?”

You stared into his brown eyes, gentle and honest. Was your nervousness that obvious? You scoffed internally. Of course it was. You must have been fidgeting non-stop since the moment you’d seen him.

“Got it,” you replied, infusing as much determination into your voice as possible. You did want this, after all.

Julian nodded with a small smile and pulled a key card out of the inside of his jacket. He pressed it against the door handle, a click sounding instantly as the door unlocked. Taking a step to the side, Julian motioned for you to do the honors and open. With one last deep breath, you pulled down the handle and stepped into the room, only for that breath to whoosh out of you a second later as you took in the room. It was a small apartment rather than a room; it had a small living room dividing the room into two areas, a large bathroom showing through a door to the left, a balcony to the right, and the bedroom across from the entrance. The bed was bigger than any bed you’d ever slept in, and everything in the room showed off what a luxurious place the hotel was.

“Please tell me you didn’t pay for this just for me. Julian, that’s-”

“I didn’t,” Julian assured you with a faint smile.

You stared at him dubiously before looking around you again.

“You got this for free?”

Julian shrugged noncommittally and walked to the mini fridge sitting next to the small couch to peer inside.

You opened your mouth to insist on the matter, since you didn’t want Julian to pay any extravagant amounts of money for you, but Julian beat you to it.

“Let’s just say that I have an agreement with the head concierge. This suite was available tonight, so he gave it to me.”

You suddenly remembered Clarissa saying something along those lines during Chloe’s birthday dinner, and nodded, accepting the explanation. Julian smiled again as you slowly walked up to him while scanning the room and looking out at the city lights twinkling through the balcony doors and the bedroom windows.

“Do you wanna drink something?” Julian asked after he’d shrugged out of his jacket and let you take everything in.

You looked back at him and then the mini fridge, which wasn’t that small for a mini fridge.

“No, I’m fine, thanks,” you said softly, glancing at the couch and putting your purse on it. Biting your lip, you removed the envelope with the money from the purse and placed it on top of the fridge.

Slowly returning your eyes to Julian, you saw him observing you quietly and not even glancing towards the envelope. You tried not to fidget as much as you wanted to under his attention, although your hands twitched at your sides as you forced yourself not to cross your arms.

“Can I touch you?” he asked quietly, tilting his head minutely as he locked his gaze with yours.

“Well, considering what's supposed to happen, I think that you will have to touch me, yes,” you laughed awkwardly and bit over your bottom lip.

Julian came closer, standing toe to toe, and lifted a hand to stroke his fingers along your neck and to your nape.

“I meant like this.”

His voice was low and intimate and sent shivers down your spine, as did his fingers on your already hot skin.

“Oh… um… yes, sure,” you breathed, unable to speak more loudly than a rough whisper.

He smiled, something soft but hiding more. You definitely wanted to find out about what this more entailed.

“Can I kiss you?” His eyes were on your mouth, which parted in surprise at his question.

“Isn't there like — I thought — Shit, I must sound so stupid but… is it, like, a misconception of mine or… I always kinda thought that kissing wasn't… part of this?” you babbled, as your brain tried to deal with his request and the idea of him kissing you.

Julian chuckled, amused, and stroked his thumb along your chin.

“I'm not pretty woman.”

You laughed under your breath and sucked in your lower lip, some of your anxiousness leaving you at his easy joking.

“No… but you're definitely a pretty man.”

Julian's mouth moved into a sweet and genuine grin before he leaned in closer until his lips were only an inch away from yours.

“Some people don't like kissing. And I don't kiss all my clients… But I'd like to kiss you very much, if that's okay.”

His voice was husky and soft, and you were unable to do anything more than stare into his brown eyes and nod. He smiled, soft and pleased, and moved in.

His lips grazed over yours and your eyes fell shut at the feeling. You slowly moved your lips against his, following his lead, as he alternated between pressing them more firmly against yours or retreating until the touch was barely there. Just as slowly, his other hand curled around your waist, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back. It was only then that you finally lifted your hands as well. You slid them up his back and held on to the fabric of his shirt at his shoulder blades. Your grip tightened as Julian tentatively stroked his tongue along your top lip, requesting access to your mouth. Access which you willingly granted. You made a small sound at the first touch of his tongue against yours. How could he make you already so weak in the knees with only a kiss? What would happen when he got to what you were initially paying him for? When his mouth slid towards your jaw, you instantly tilted your head to the side and moaned at the feeling of his teeth teasing along your skin. He ultimately stopped at where your neck met your shoulder and gently sucked at the spot.

“That okay?” he asked, his rougher voice making you shiver.

“Uh huh,” you panted.

After a minute of this, Julian’s mouth climbed up your neck again to reach your lips.

“Can I undress you?”

Your eyes opened a fraction as your fuzzy brain tried to process his question. As you bit your lip, Julian’s eyes slid to your mouth, before they returned to yours with… Could it be desire? Instead of contemplating what his look could possibly mean, you finally nodded in silent agreement before whispering a tiny, “Yes.”

Smiling, Julian kissed you again and rendered you just as breathless as earlier before he even began going for your clothes. He slowly pulled you forward as he walked you towards the bedroom, his lips and tongue still drawing moans and sighs from you. As you reached the bed, Julian pressed one last kiss against your lips, then stepped around you until he was standing at your back. He started removing every piece of clothing with slow and deliberate care, while his mouth teased at your nape and shoulders or behind your ears. Your entire body was wracked by shivers the further he went, until you were a trembling mess once he had you fully naked. His large hands slid over your sides and to your stomach, the heat and touch of them making goosebumps rise in their wake.

“Julian,” you gasped softly, not exactly knowing what you wanted to say. His name just fell from your lips at the gentle care he was handling you with.

“You’re so responsive,” Julian said with a note of wonder, as his fingers trailed up your chest and tickled between your breasts. He let out a soft chuckle as you arched your back and pressed your head against him when he circled his index fingers around your areolas. “So responsive.”

You exhaled sharply and moaned when he took both nipples between thumb and pointer finger and pinched them just the tiniest bit. By now, you could feel the dampness between your legs, and pressed your thighs together as Julian continued his sweet exploration. When you had asked him to make you come with his mouth, you had expected him to do just that; get you on a bed or couch and literally go down to business. Nothing more and nothing less. You certainly hadn’t thought that he’d treat you basically like a lover, touch you in ways that had never gotten this kind of reaction out of you. He’d commented on how responsive you were, but you had never reacted this way with anyone before, which either really said a lot about your previous partners or about Julian’s talent. Maybe a bit of both. One thing was certain, if this was the service he was giving to all his clients, then his reputation was no surprise. At all.

As one of his hands moved down your belly and towards your hips, he paused as he reached just above your mound.

“Can I use my hands too, or just my mouth?” he asked against the shell of your ear, getting yet another shiver out of you.

A wave of heat ran through you, and you felt yourself getting wetter still at the idea of having his fingers right there.

“Yes,” you breathed, before realizing that this didn’t answer his question, and you swallowed before you elaborated as best as you could. “Your fingers.”

Julian smiled against your skin, then licked his way down your neck and back up.

“Spread your legs a bit for me?”

Despite your shaky legs, you did as asked and widened your stance, feeling the soft fabric of his shirt against your bare back. Julian hummed pleasantly and wrapped his arm around you just under your breasts before he let his other hand continue down its original path. Your mouth parted for your gasped out breaths as Julian slid two fingers between your legs to stroke them along your outer lips, as if testing your response. Both of your hands went to the arm around your chest and gripped it, as Julian moved one of the fingers to your center to gently slide it through your folds.

“I think I’ll have a lot of fun making you come,” Julian said in a low tone, as he repeated the motion and lightly circled over your already pulsing clit.

You keened at the touch, your head falling forward as Julian kept teasing and teasing over the same spot, the touch featherlight but still managing to light your nerve endings on fire. All through the haze of need, you still realized that Julian hadn’t said “try to make you come”, instead, he was clearly confident that he would. By how this was going, you were less and less uncertain as well.

“Why don’t you go ahead and get comfortable on the bed?” he suggested after a minute.

Thankfully, and Julian probably knew to do it from experience, he didn’t pull back from you immediately after his request and let you gather your bearings enough to no topple over once he wouldn’t be behind you anymore. He slowly let go of you and let you walk out of his space in your own time. If you were honest with yourself, you could have stayed right where you had been all night, as long as Julian kept talking and touching you the way he’d done so far. Now that he wasn’t touching you anymore, a bit of self-consciousness returned, which stopped you from looking at him as you moved towards the bed and reclined on top of it, feeling suddenly exposed. Especially since he was still fully dressed.

“Look at me,” Julian said softly. It was a request, not an order.

It was this small difference that made you do as asked. You slowly met his gaze, and saw him smiling at you tenderly as he knelt on the foot end of the bed.

“You’re beautiful, Sweetheart.”

You uttered a surprised and shaky laugh and closed your eyes for a moment. When you looked back at him, you gave him a small smile and managed to relax against the pillows. Clearly pleased by your reaction, Julian pressed his other knee to the bed as well and moved up until his was kneeling in front of you. You’d bend your legs at the knees but had squeezed your thighs together. With his eyes on your face, Julian leaned down and placed a small kiss on each of your kneecaps, a tiny smile on his lips. The act had you giggling lightly and exhaling a deep breath. Your lips parted as Julian’s hands drifted down the outside of your thighs, only to move back up again, the touch soothing but also turning you on some more. You observed him as he kept pressing kisses along your knees, silently waiting for you to part your legs. As soon as you did, Julian shot you a pleased smile and proceeded to do the same thing he’d been doing to the outside of your thighs, but on the inside this time, and with his mouth. Air rushed past your lips at the ticklish yet arousing touch. You were unable to tear your eyes away from Julian’s head as he went further down until his mouth stopped at the juncture between hips and thighs. You were panting in anticipation at the idea of Julian finally moving to your center, except that he had other plans. He quickly turned his head to the other side and did the same as with the other leg but in the reverse, kissing his way up, until he was back at your knee. The small smirk he sent you had you groaning and squeezing your eyes shut. He was teasing you deliberately, and you had to admit that you liked it a lot. Your stomach quivered with need. Julian knew how to drive you high without even touching you where you needed him the most.

“Julian,” you breathed, as your fingers gripped the comforter at your hips. “Please?”

Julian ducked his head and shook it with a small, affectionate laugh.

“So responsive,” he mumbled, as if to himself. “Keep your eyes open,” he added with one last glance at you, before he knelt down all the way and pressed a long kiss against your mound.

Your mouth fell open as his tongue slowly flicked out and made its way down your outer lips. He traced patterns over them in such a way that you had no idea what he would be doing next; up, down, left, right, but never in the same order. At the first pass of his tongue through your folds, your eyes opened wide and the air came whooshing out of your throat sharply, accompanied by a surprised moan. Julian went slowly, taking his time as he drew his tongue over every part of you, leaving nothing untouched. When he began suckling at your lips teasingly, one of your hands automatically went to his head, your fingers gripping his soft hair.

“So — sorry,” you gasped at Julian’s grunt, and instantly let go of his hair.

Before you could retreat your hand all the way, Julian’s own hand shot out to snatch your wrist and pull your hand back to his head.

“Go ahead,” he said, looking up at you with intense eyes.

He spoke against your flesh, and the rush of air and small vibrations caused by his words had you uttering a small gasp. Licking your lips, you slid your fingers through his hair again. He had you tightening your grip again a second later when, with his eyes still on you, Julian sucked your clit right into his mouth. You cried out at the unexpected move and the pleasure coming from it. Your hips bucked into his face, and you had the need to apologize for that too, but Julian only groaned and held you tighter to him with his arms around your thighs. He took it easy after the first initial suck, clearly wanting to take his time there as well and not overwhelm you. You were grateful for that, since you were still unsure if hard and fast could do it for you, no matter how aroused you were after the foreplay. He still kept your hips from moving too much, making you take his ministrations with just the right intensity. As he nibbled around your lips before tonguing your clit with light strokes, you felt one of his arms let go of your legs and the hand moving to under your thigh.

“Only my mouth, or can I use my fingers too?” Julian asked again, except that this time, he meant if he could use them at the same time. Just the thought had you moaning without meaning to. How could you say no to having his talented mouth and gorgeous hands on you?

“Both… I want… both,” you got out, panting rapidly.

With his eyes on yours, Julian used his thumb to slowly rub through your drenched flesh, moving it up until he could press it against your clit and circle it a few times. You whimpered, unable to look away from him, and moaned long and high as he slid the thumb back to slip one of his large fingers inside you. As the second one followed, this time, you couldn’t keep your head from falling back and closing your eyes. Julian kept his fingers barely moving for a few seconds, before he had your eyes flying open again when his mouth descended on your clit to flick at it with the tip of his tongue. He sucked and lapped at his continuously, while his fingers started moving for real, curling against your walls with each plunge in and out.

You were… a mess.

Julian had transformed you into a moaning and begging ball of need, your fingers flexing in his hair or the comforter as your hips moved against his mouth and fingers on their own accord. It was with both surprise and no surprise that you felt the tendrils of your orgasm assembling in the spots where Julian was touching you. You could feel them coiling together, gathering and getting bigger and warmer as your belly contracted, and your legs began to shake without your control.

“Julian,” you gasped, sounding nearly panicked at the idea that he could stop and rip this feeling away from you.

But Julian never relented. He worked his mouth and lips like a magician with his best trick, his fingers adding the last element that had you suddenly flying over the edge with a shocked gasp as your hips bucked. Everything went white and silent as the peak of your orgasm hit you, pleasure of the most intense kind you’d ever felt with someone else being the only thing that registered with you. After the more intense part began to fade, you felt Julian kissing the inside of your thigh as he spoke to you in a low and soothing tone. Words of praise hit your ears and made your body glow with another form of pleasure. You slowly opened your eyes as you felt Julian coming to lie next to you on the bed, and turned your head to gaze at his smiling face. Since you were still drifting on the pleasure, you couldn’t even feel any form of embarrassment at the sight of his glistening nose, lips and chin. Julian reached across your body and pulled at the comforter to tug it around you. You smiled drowsily at the gesture and the softness of the fabric against your cooling skin. Julian held himself up on an elbow and put his head on his palm as he watched you. Despite the messy hair, which you were responsible for, the flushed and shiny face, and the wrinkled dress shirt, Julian still looked as gorgeous as always. Maybe even more so because he looked utterly relaxed and at ease. That thought had you wondering about Julian’s needs. Did he get aroused while doing this? Should he do something about it? Or maybe he didn’t get turned on at all and-

No.

You forbid yourself from letting your mind go down that road. This wasn’t a relationship. Julian didn’t have to get turned on by any of it. This had been about you, and Julian had gone above and beyond what you could have ever expected from this.

“Do you ever get actually turned on when you do something like that?” you asked anyway, your mouth not listening to your brain, apparently. “Wait, no, don’t answer that. I didn’t mean to ask this,” you groaned as you closed your eyes, and cursed under your breath.

Julian didn’t seem fazed and chuckled softly. “You’re sure?”

You glanced back at him and huffed in thought.

“I… I wasn’t asking if this…” you made a vague gesture at yourself as a whole. “Turned you on… I mean… I'm not expecting you to be… and I'm aware that escorts down always have sex with their clients but… um… I guess, I’m just… curious,” you sighed at the end of your word vomiting.

“About the mechanics?” Julian smiled, clearly not bothered by your curiosity or babbling.

You thought about that term and nodded. It was a job, after all. Julian shrugged and for a second, he got a far away look that held such a strong note of sadness in it that you nearly stopped him from going on before the look vanished completely and Julian smiled again.

“It’s a question of working with the moment, I guess. Creating a special connection with that person. Setting the mood… and, well, habit is a factor, I suppose. Let's say that being able to get it up is different from being turned on.”

You hummed thoughtfully as you took in the information. You were glad that you didn't ruin the moment and that he was willing to share as much.

“Well, you sure know how to create that connection,” you laughed softly and turned on your side.

Julian snorted softly through his nose and grinned at you, rubbing a hand over your covered arm once you faced him.

“Some connections are much easier to create than others.”

His soft look had you smiling and looking down, feeling suddenly shy again.

“Thank you for doing this, Julian,” you muttered, glancing up at him once more.

His hand moved to your face and his thumb stroked over your cheekbone in a gentle caress.

“It was my absolute pleasure, Sweetheart.”

And you actually believed him. Believed that he’d enjoyed giving you this pleasure, no matter if you’d paid for it.

You stared at him for a while, just looking, and Julian didn’t seem to mind.

“Do you have to get back?” you asked at length, looking around yourself for a clock, but not finding any.

Julian didn’t reply immediately, but he shrugged when you looked back at him.

“I can stay a little while longer.”

That statement had you smiling and closing your eyes. Julian’s fingers played with your hair as you drifted for a while, his presence and the comfortable bed pulling you under.

The next time you opened your eyes, he was gone. You hadn’t even realized that you’d fallen asleep. It couldn’t have been that long, however, since it was still dark outside. Turning around with a long sigh, you glimpsed a folded piece of paper on the bedside table. You sat up to reach for it, the comforter falling around your waist as you moved.

Please stay for as long as you want. The room’s all yours for the night. Take anything you need from the fridge, it’s on me.

Julian

You smiled fondly at the neat script and put the note back on the table.

A nice bath in a fancy hotel room sounded like the perfect way to end this incredible night.

#julian kaye x reader #bernthirst prompt fest #julian kaye #american gigolo #julian kaye x f!reader #reader insert #jon bernthal #mes fics #julian kaye smut

110 notes · View notes

killersfool · 5 months

Note

hiiii i’ve a wee fluff imagine idea for bobby!! : )

bobby and the reader live together in a flat in dublin and the reader goes to trinity uni to study english literature (or smt else that has like a lot of reading and essay writing anol that craic) and she’s falling behind in a lot of her assignments and it’s all piling up and she’s just all overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to cope.

she ends up breaking down into sobs or shutting down at random points in the day due to stress and rob hasn’t got a clue what’s wrong and keeps noticing these random break downs throughout the week.

basically he comforts reader and helps to organise herself and just all fluffy cute comfort fic <333

If I could flip back time, bend the seconds and go back three years ago, I would do it right now.

Pile after pile of flashcards, annotated books with pastel post-it notes shooting out of the sides, folders of Irish poetry I can hardly understand, tattered photocopies of Hozier lyrics, every work of Shakespeare staring at me from my overcrowded booksheld — dusty, messy, probably even dank. Miss Carter has decided to set three more assignments onto my workload for the week. An essay on crime fiction (I haven't even read the first book on the reading list), my creative writing portfolio and then another essay analysing a piece poetry of my choice. Reading and highlighting Hozier's lyrics of 'I, Carrion (Icarian)' is the only thing keeping me going. Phoebe Bridgers blasts through my ears. It's quarter to 11. I need a break. An early night would be nice. Or TV. But do I really want to sit next to Robert whilst he watches his weird YouTube videos?

I kick my table. Not out of anger. Not out of irritation. I just want to see all of my notes topple ontp the floor. They do. Then I'm kicking the table three more times. Or maybe eight. All my flashcards are on the carpeted floor, next to my discarded, empty packet of pinballs. I'd stolen them from Robert's stash. He'll never find out.

Climbing over my pile of unread books by my doorway, I push open the door. It squeaks. Some oiling would be nice. Trinity college really provides the best for their students!

I still wish my roommate was also doing English, someone to bond with over shared trauma, to gossip about our nightmarish teachers and fellow students. But no, this guy is doing a degree in bloody mathematics. The complete dichotomy of English. No similarities. No way of comparing the courses to eachother. Him and his terrifying videos that he watches with his shoes up on the armrest, cheek in his open palm, drinking a cup of tea. Like it's that simple. Numbers and sin, cos, tan and circle theorems and whatever tragic nonsense is being spouted in his lectures.

He hardly speaks to me. Three years together and I barely know him. Sometimes I tag along with him when he goes out for breakfast. Once every two weeks. Sunday morning. We talk about school, about friends, about anything that pops in our heads. Yesterday we spoke about music. He originally wanted to pursue a career in music. A band. But they didn't work out. He took a gap year to pursue this group. So he's a year older than all of the other third years. He doesn't let that faze him. When he told me stories about his band, 'Inhaler', I had to lose eye contact, look down at the pink marshmellos floating about in my cup. He looked lost. This wasn't the place for him. He missed the confidence upon stage, the ability of making something out of nothing. Life is unfair. That is when I realised it. Hearing about shattered dreams and names of songs that were never produced.

I also realise life is unfair right now, as I accidentally bang my hip onto the kicthen island, the knife-like corner lodging itself into my skin. It's like the world is against me.

Sometimes I wonder if Robert thinks I'm an idiot. I feel like I'm an idiot when I walk past his bedroom, hunched over his laptop, headphones on as he works through the most difficult maths questions I've ever encountered in my life. He makes university seem easy. Has his allocated times for study, going out with friends, the gym, practicing bass, going though record shops, meals, watching TV. Everytime he gets home, he drops his things down in the kitchen. I sneak a glance at the big green 'A*' on all of his test papers. I look up to him. His intelligence, his masterful management of time. I'm always too frightened to ask him how he does it. He'll think I'm stalking him.

Me, on the other hand, I waste time. I don't have balance. I never have time to be with my friends. Always locked up in my room. A prisoner. Essay after essay. Poem after poem. Book after book. A constant cycle I've been in for three whole years. The stress is weighing down on me like a hundred bags of bricks. I need to stop for a second. To breathe in. To calm down.

So I do the last thing I would normally do. I go into the living room and sit beside Robert on the sofa. He's half asleep, jeans cuffed, hair all over his face. He sees me walk in, glances up, eyes big and speculting. He instantly moves his spindly, spider-like legs from the armrest to give me some space. I can hear some sort of maths video playing on the TV. I'm scared. At least it's not English. I'm immune to maths. It doesn't affect me anymore. Whatever logorhythmic scale this American YouTube man is yapping about isn't making my face contort at all — it's like sorcery.

This could be a way of winding down. Maths. I'm calmer now. No changes of focus or narrowing of perspective. No pathetic fallacy or magical realism. Just messes of words that don't really make sense at all.

"'D'you want to watch TV? I can turn this off if you want." Robert has his thumb on the home button.

"Leave it on. I just need a moment."

He dubiously puts the remote back down. He yawns, stretching out his arms and leaning back. I hate it when boys do that. With his parted, manspreaded legs, adams apple bobbing, head rolled back. It's idiotic. Completely idiotic. He doesn't seem too intrigued by Mr American man. The video is a guy next to a whiteboard writing millions of brain-numbing equtions. Robert is nodding along. I think I'm going to cry. I don't know why I want to right now. My hip is actually starting to throb and ache. I look down at my jeans. There's a hole in them. There's blood. It's wet. I hadn't noticed before. It's properly pouring out blood.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I exclaim, hand pressing down onto the cut through my jeans.

Robert swiftly nears me. He's looking at me up and down, hands trying to find a place to move to. It's dark in the room. He reaches for the lamp switch. "What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm bleeding. Jesus christ. That kills. Fuck me."

He passes me his jacket and says, "Apply some pressure."

Then he runs out of the room. Fast as a plane. A man on a mission. Long curls dancing to the rhythm of his steps. Mr American man won't shut up about algebraic expressions. He's got a really bald head. Glimmering.

Robert is back. He has bandages. I don't know where he got those from. Antiseptic wipes, plasters, sweets, even a cup of tea. He was only gone for about five seconds. How did he manage to get all of that? He hands me the cup of tea and sweets whilst asking, "What happened?"

"I walked into the island like an eejit. I'm so feckin' stupid."

"Just breathe, okay. You're not an eejit. I do that every day."

I have to unzip my jeans to let him check the cut. Which is awkward, to say the least. He's looking at me like a doctor — not really caring about seeing my skin — but I'm still so shy around him. He sees me struggle with the button. He undoes it, fingers coming in contact with mine. They're slender. So very perfect for the bass guitar. Then he's unzipping my jeans. Only the tiniest bit. A mere centimetre of my knickers appear out of the top. Any more than that and I'd be flush as a tomato. I've always had a little crush on Robert. Being stuck with a really smart bass guitarist with the dreamiest eyes for three years is enough to make a person fall. The reason I've been avoiding him lately has been due to that fact. I don't want to make it obvious.

He finds the cut. It's bled through my knickers, making a big blot of dark red. He pulls down the waistband of my pants, prepared to wipe the wound. I have to grind my teeth together to prevent a sob from escaping me. I'm crying. Stressed and hurt and just wanting to dissolve into nothing. The cold draft of wind isn't improving the situation. If only there was no such thing as coursework and I couldn't glide my way through university like Robert.

More and more blood. I think I might pass out. The blue-eyed boy is knelt down on the floor, knees biting into the carpet so that he can properly see where to put the bandage.

"So how's English going?" He's not looking at me. Only at the wound. I don't think he's noticed that I'm crying. I don't want him to. I cover my face with bloody hands, accidentally smearing the metallic substance onto my nose.

I don't know what to say. Do I tell him how much I regret picking it? Do I make this already awkward situation about ten times worse? I hate when people pity me. I hate when I feel like eyes are lingering for far too long when I cry. But when Robert looks at me, it's different. The pools of serenity circling his iris aren't looking down at me with a sort of aristocracy. That's how my English peers stare me down. No, instead, he's looking at me like there's a billion questions rushing across his forehead. He just needs to decide which one to ask. Or to simply say nothing. Like I am. We've both learnt how to cohabit in silence. To walk past eachother and ignore the feathers of conversation falling between us. We're busy. Always busy. Except for those perfect Monday mornings that I always look forward to. Especially the one time when he showed me around his favourite record store. He had asked me to choose him a record to buy. I walked through the entire shop, fingers shifting records, reading unfamiliar artist names. Then, I saw it, the — now bane of my existence — Hozier's 'unreal unearth'. He bought it. He'd told me he only really knew 'Take Me To Church'. I'd leant against the till as he paid and said, 'it'll change your life.' Then he'd locked himself in his room. Through the ever so thin walls — paper thin — I could hear each track hum into my room. I never got the chance to talk to him about the album. I think the thought of bringing it up made me feel sick — due to the English essay upstairs still waiting patiently to be finished.

Now there is an excuse. To talk. I'm injured. I don't want to move. He's still attempting to wrap a bandage over my stomach, then across my back until it's around my torso. I feel his fingers graze my skin with every subtle movement, along my spine, the small of my back, my abdomen, my hip bone. He's still looking at me. Searching. Like I'm a new island and he's an explorer trying to name me.

"What's up, sweetheart?" He finally talks again. His words are throaty, emananting from the pits of his throat. He's still wrapping, waiting for an answer.

"Just college. You know. It's killing me."

He shakes his head. "You're so smart."

"Says you."

He shakes his head. "Look, this might be a bit weird but sometimes when you leave random essays lying around or even creative writing. I read them. They're incredible. Your mind just works in such an interesting way."

I'm at a loss for words. He reads those? Those are usually just failed attempts that I toss aside. Scrap paper. Strange drawings. I don't even want to look at them.

"You get top grades in every test," I sigh. "I'm barely passing. I'm the worst in the class. My professors hate me, I've got so much work, I'm falling behind in every assignment—"

Then I'm properly crying. Sobbing. Breathing so heavily I think I might collapse. Heaving. Sniffling. Covering my face so he can't see me. I'm like a child. Pathetic. Stupid. Worthless. I was never good enough for Trinity. Why did they let me in?

Warm arms, press of skin. Just above the wound, over my chest, arms dig into my body, hugging me from behind. Head burrowing onto my shoulders, knees into the sofa. His lips ghost the back of my neck. Tears are falling down. He turns me around to face him. I hate how he's seeing me like this. My cries are usually saved for when he's out with friends or blasting music on his record player. He's never seen me this vulnerable, just utterly ripped into shreds by the hands of life. His scent is making me feel better, the tissue now on my cheek makes me feel better, the quiet words of 'breathe, let it all out, it's okay' make me feel better. He's calming me down. I start to forget what I was even crying about when I look into his eyes. This intense eye contact. Remembering his height. Even sat down, his torso is far longer than mine.

"I've got an idea," he murmurs, peeling his body away. I miss the warmth. I miss the touch.

"What is it?"

"We should go somewhere. Get out for a bit. Say it's a 'mental health field trip'." He curls his fingers to accentuate the apostrophes."Maybe down to the Cliffs of Moher. When you're all healed up of course."

"Give me a week."

"A week? I'll be the judge of that." He raises an eyebrow, now tying up the bandage.

"Where did you learn all this?"

"I'm actually first aid trained. Did it in my first week of uni." He takes a deep breath, settles back onto the sofa.

I take a sip of my tea. My eyes are surely blotchy and red. I bet there's mascara all over my face. "Thank you so much."

"No problem at all. Do you want to tell me what's going on? Is there any way I can help?" He's referring to my school work. "I was alright at English in high school. No where near as good as you are. But maybe another opinion might help you."

"I'm really stuck on a Hozier analysis."

"I never told you how much I love that album. It's perfect." His eyes glow like they do when he's talking about something he loves. Usually it's caused by talking about playing bass, but right now it's due to the beauty of Hozier's music. "I learned the bass line of De Selby part two."

"Show me. Now." I don't even ask. It's simply a demand. Anything to take my mind away from that cut still bleeding profusely. A little concert would be nice. Especially if said concert involves watching Robert play bass. I sometimes peek through the crack in the doorway to see him sat down on his bed, pick between his index and thumb, bass guitar on his lap, headphones over his ears. The pure concentration on his face is unparalleled. Notes thrum quietly through the room. He falls into any piece of music.

"Alright." He laughs at my enthusiasm. "Then I'll help with your English."

"Thanks." This is probably the most I've ever spoken to him. I'm mumbling each word, not wanting to look into his eyes.

He disappears once again. This time I hear the thudding footsteps over creaky floorboards. I hear a door squeak open, the faint patter of rain upon the ceiling, the quiet murmur of distant sirens as night blooms. It's tranquil. For a moment, I'm at peace. Until I remember the stack of unread books in my bedroom. I groan into my hands. Everything just keeps getting worse and worse and—

He's back. Not empty handed. Bass in one hand, Hozier lyrics and my pencil case in the other.

"I emailed your professor about the trip. I'm sure she'll be okay with it." He's off again. He comes through the door with his amp and lead. He plugs both in.

"You're a life saver, Rob," I say.

He starts twisting around the knobs on the bass. Volume up. Then he's tuning. He smiles up at me. I think I'm staring. I think he can tell. His long fingers, tattoos, rings. It's all too much. My fingers are restlessly tapping the armrest. My legs are up on the coffee table. He pulls out his phone and plays the song. Then I'm lost in the music. His eyes are closed as he slides his fingers up and down the neck of the bass, as he stomps his feet down on the carpet to every drum beat. If only I could go back to the days I'd go to concerts every day. If only I could go back and see 'Inhaler' on a world tour, watch Robert from the crowd, completely in his element. Exhilarated, chanting, knowing every lyric like it's my mother tongue. Sometimes I wonder what life could've been like if the band had worked out. If the world did realise just how incredible they are. But, here, appreciating each pluck of every string, the grin as he watches me. I can't take that for granted.

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neo-trinity · 4 months

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gif tutorial

@bakedbakermom requested a tutorial on how i made the gifs in this set, so i've put together a little walkthrough of the process for this gif under the cut!

(disclaimer: this tutorial assumes that you already have basic photoshop/giffing knowledge - i.e. how to make and colour gifs using correction layers, how to use things like layer masks, etc. if you don't, i recommend these tutorials, they're very comprehensive)

alright! so as stated before, i'm not going to go in-depth here on the basics of gifmaking. for this one in particular, i blended three gifs, but we'll get into the third one later.

(i should also mention that blending gifs as i did here is usually easier if you have scenes with shadowed/dark areas like the ones above, so to keep that in mind when picking your scenes! i also find it easier to use scenes where there isn't a whole ton of movement going on- again, not a requirement but it's easier to plan and position gifs if the characters aren't moving across the whole canvas)

first, i started by making the base gifs of mulder and scully in "paper hearts". both are cropped to 540x540 px, and the same length (around 50 frames). i did some standard sharpening, brightening, and adding contrast (my usual process is curves, a b/w gradient map set to "soft light" at around 20% opacity, and messing with the levels a bit) before using selective colour and hue/saturation layers to highlight the teal and peach colours in the gif. sometimes this is enough colouring on its own, depending on the gif and the look you're going for, but in my case i wanted to add more.

so, on top of my colouring, i used a combination of layers set to "colour" and "hard light" to paint over the background of my gifs in teal and peach. on mulder's gif i also used a gradient fill layer in the two colours set to "colour" and used a layer mask to erase anywhere i didn't want the colour to be. the opacity levels for all of these layers again just depends on how vibrant you want your colours, i just mess with that on a gif-to-gif basis.

so we have our two gifs, cropped and coloured to fit the palette we want. next, i converted each coloured gif into a smart object, by selecting all my layers, right clicking, and hitting "convert to smart object."

once that's done, you should be able to click and drag one of the gifs onto the other gif's canvas, so that it's sitting on top. then change the blending mode of the top gif- most people use lighten or screen, this again depends on the look you want and the gifs you're using. for this one, i used screen. it'll probably look something like this:

at this point you can move your gifs around and position them as you like. for mine, i just moved scully a little off to the right, as you can see. in order to get rid of the part that's covering mulder's face, i added a layer mask to the scully gif and used a large, soft brush set to black to erase it.

(another note: i didn't need to do it here, but if you want to move/erase parts of your bottom gif, add a layer of solid black underneath both gifs.)

usually i would stop blending here, but for this set i decided to add a third gif, so i made and coloured the gif of mulder and scully holding hands, using the same methods as the first two. this one was cropped to 540x405 px to make it fit better on the canvas, since i knew i only wanted it to cover the bottom part.

i converted it to a smart object and dragged it onto the same canvas as the other two gifs. this time i used "lighten" as my blending mode, positioned it in the bottom right corner, and again used a layer mask to brush away the parts i didn't want.

on top of all three gifs, i then used layers set to "normal" and "hard light" to brush some extra colour onto the gif. this part i also just play around with on a gif-to-gif basis, but for this set i mostly used a combo of colour, hard light, and normal layers at varying opacities until i got the look i was going for. i generally just like to use big soft brushes to add colour around the edges, as i did here.

now, i have a bunch of texture/grain pngs saved on my laptop that i like to add to gifs for some extra flair, so i opened one of those and cropped it down to 540x540px. i then added a gradient map to give it that peach colour. (any textured png/jpg should work fine for this, as long as you have your gradient map set to black and white/your accent colour)

like i did with my gifs, i converted the texture + gradient map to a smart object and dragged it onto the shared canvas. i set the blending mode to "screen", with the opacity at 70%. i like to put these textures underneath the extra colouring i've done on the gif, as seen here. i don't always do this, but i feel like it sometimes helps the texture blend into the finished gif. you can also use a layer mask if needed to erase any unwanted parts of the texture.

now for the text!

for these gifs i used the font "IM FELL DW Pica" in both regular and italic, in black, at 16px. i didn't do anything fancy with the text itself besides adding a drop shadow in the blending options (right click on the text layer and hit "blending options).

then, underneath the text layer (i was working one word at a time) i used the rectangle tool to draw a small rectangle around the text- i wasn't too picky about the size or evenness since i was going for a collaged look. i set the colour of the rectangle to a light cream colour, and added a drop shadow in the blending options.

then i just selected both the text and rectangle and duplicated them using ctrl+j, changing the text for each word and adjusting the size of the rectangles as needed. once i had all of the words on my canvas, i just moved them around until i found a positioning i liked. again, since i was going for a purposefully scrapbooked look, i didn't overthink this part.

i exported my gif the way i usually do, with these settings:

and that's it! i used pretty much the same process for all the gifs in this set, give or take. hopefully this little walkthrough made sense, but i know i'm not always the best at explaining my process, so if anything needs clarifying feel free to shoot me an ask or dm!

#lily talks #gif tutorial

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ms-demeanor · 3 months

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hello! i vaguely recall you doing a new year's resolution bingo thing - first, was that actually you lol? and if so, how'd it go, any adjustments you'd make from the original idea? (i did a resolution bingo this past year, which mostly ended up being a 24 item quest buffet, which did work for me! but i'm curious for more data). happy new year to you and your various sizes of bastard!

Hello! Yes, that was me. It didn't go great!

I did a resolution bingo in 2022 but it ended up feeling like homework and at a certain point in the year I looked at the spaces that I hadn't filled and it just made me feel bad.

In 2023 I did kind of a chore chart; I used a sheet of college-ruled notebook paper and divided it up into columns with things like "guitar" and "draw" and and "quilt square" and "go for a walk by myself" and numbered out 52 lines and I went through and highlighted each thing as I did it each week. That went very well for some things and not very well for others. I had at least a few columns where I did something every other week, and I totally finished the quilt square column, and I drew something for like 40 weeks, but I also had several categories that I did absolutely nothing for and several categories that had very few highlights.

That chart *also* was kind of a problem and there was a week in, like, august where my brain was being weird and was like "you can't do more of X until you've caught up on Y and Z" because I had to flip the paper over and wanted to finish three columns before I flipped it - that was clearly a very silly hangup but I don't make the rules for what my brain will freak out about and it caused a disproportionate amount of stress.

This year I kind of combined the two and I've made three sheets of paper with different tasks on different lines, and in different amounts. (And none of the papers need to be flipped over so I won't get a weird hangup week)

So instead of having 52 blanks each for "pushups" "squats" and "go for a walk by myself" I've got 156 blanks for "workout: lifting, calisthenics, stretching, walking, cardio." I didn't do a single walk by myself last year, and it turns out I'm pretty unlikely do do random squats or pushups, so rather than try to do one exercise fifty two times I'm just going to try to do *some* kind of exercise three times a week and I'm not going to feel bad about it if that's more bench press instead of more cardio.

I did pretty well with quilt squares so i've set a goal to do twice as many this year. I set a goal for 52 drawings and writing seriously 52 times. My yard is a disaster so my goal is to fill my yardwaste bin 52 times this year.

But what I *haven't* done is divide that up by week. Maybe some weeks I'll get four workouts in and other weeks I'll do two. Maybe I won't draw for a month but I'll get into it a lot over the summer.

One of my two other sheets is things that I'd like to do daily. My four daily tasks that I'm aiming for are: clean something at the house, floss, moisturize, and journal. (Journaling was successful in the bingo year but not at all last year)

The other sheet is the one that's more like the bingo, or what I think the spirit of the bingo is supposed to be. I've got it labeled "Bonus" and each thing on it has about twenty circles that I can check off if I do something but that I don't see as a goal. That includes stuff like "friend hangs" and "go someplace" - stuff that I want to do more of but that I can either plan or do spontaneously and that doesn't have a big project end goal (so it's "do something with music like program a music box or play guitar for a while" rather than "write a song" like it was the bingo year, when no song got written).

I may have also just kneecapped myself by making the bingo squares too hard. Maybe I should do a monthly bingo with smaller goals.

The bingo also got harder when I failed at bullet journaling; turns out that's not a great way for me to manage my time and attention and the bingo was in the bullet journal. Having stuff on a wall next to the light switch in my office helped a lot last year, I think, so that's where my sheets are this year too.

IDK, this is all fun to experiment with and I enjoy it but also I'm never sure if any of it "works" in terms of getting me to do more of the things that I'd like myself to do. It did work for quilt squares last year, though, and that's the best progress I've made on my quilt since I started it in 2021. And the daily chart is helping a lot so far.

But maybe I just like making charts (I do).

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maximotts · 1 year

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𝙻𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝙾𝚗𝚎; 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 :: 𝙲.𝚘.𝚆.𝙼.

a/n: alright, here we go! I think I've mentioned it already, but most of these chapters are written and in my drafts so knocks on wood the schedule should stay as planned. I hope you all enjoy this series as much as I do and big special thanks to @furys-eyepatch for sending me the idea for Kinktober uh... obviously it got Quite Long

✎— priest's daughter!Wanda x college student!reader

✎— confessions AU; it's only been a few weeks, but Wanda won't get out of your head. With how small your campus was, you thought sure you were bound to run into her; until you realize she's the one person never on the invite list

✎— warnings: this is an 18+ series, minors DNI; this first chapter is pretty tame tbh, but we've got name calling, mentions of Wanda being an innocent little bean, allusions to bullying, and Brock Rumlow being a jerk

✎— words: 2.5k

series masterlist. || main masterlist.

That semester, you shared three classes, but your Folklore and Terror class was where you’d first seen her and just for that, it was your favorite. Three times a week you’d walk into the small lecture hall, barely on time, and Wanda Maximoff would already be settled at her chosen spot with her notebook open, books stacked neatly, pen and highlighters ready to be picked up as soon as your professors opened their mouths. She was like that for every class no matter what; from day one it was clear Wanda enrolled in college to learn, not socialize.

Upon first glance, she’d single handedly convinced you she was the standard: focused, task-oriented, and studious. And just as quickly, you’d found Wanda was the exception instead of the rule. The rest of your classmates were exponentially more relaxed, talking to one another about anything from their massive workload to the current flatmate drama between dormitories. It was a tight-knit campus, most of the students having gone to school together since kindergarten and grown up in the tiny isolated town of Westview about an hour away.

You’d expected to turn into a loner for a while, especially with transferring here in your third year, but new people were exciting front page news to young adults who’d seen the same faces for two decades and soon enough, invitations for study sessions over coffee, bonfires, and late night parties with weed brownies came pouring in. Everyone was surprisingly welcoming and you were grateful for the introductions, the companionship, all of it.. but wherever you went, Wanda was absent.

Eternally polite and quiet Wanda was nowhere to be found outside of class, and it only piqued your curiosity further.

After some casual prodding, you found out Wanda also grew up in Westview, but she was only a topic as an excuse for a few particularly annoyed girls to roll their eyes and sneer. Smart as she was, Wanda wasn’t ever invited to study groups, not that she asked either, no, she didn’t speak a word to anyone besides instructors and a few select people you recognized from your transfer orientation— the only kids that didn’t know her from town.

A handful of times you’d caught her staring your way, but as soon as she noticed you looking back, she whipped around or turned her eyes back to her notes. For the first few weeks, you tried to pretend her avoidance didn’t bother you, but seeing her chat with other students made you wonder why she wouldn’t do the same with you. Sure you hadn’t approached her yourself, but honestly, you hadn’t worked up a good enough excuse to past “hey you’re pretty cute, please talk to me” and it just sounded too weird in your head to say aloud.

Unfortunately, before you’d gotten a chance to think of a better conversation starter, Wanda started walking to your desk after class and your brain went into panic mode not only wondering what to say, but also what she could possibly want after seemingly avoiding you since the semester started. It was fine, everything was fine, she didn’t look mad at all, maybe… nervous?

You were moments away from speaking up as she made her way over… only to stop dead in her tracks when Brock Rumlow slung his arm over your shoulder. Just as soon as he began running his mouth about the next soccer game, Wanda spun around and made a beeline for her chair as if she hadn’t acknowledged you at all. While he ranted on and on, you tried to quell the disappointment, but it tugged the corners of your mouth down into a frown anyways. Not that the loud athlete noticed. “Shut up for a second… What do you know about Wanda?”

He only scoffed, both of you turning your attention to where the shy brunette now hurriedly packed her stuff into her red messenger bag. With all of her notebooks and pretty stationary, you wondered if her bag ever felt heavy… and if she’d let you carry it to class for her some time. “That religious little daddy’s girl? Stay away from her.”

The strong reaction shouldn’t have caught you off guard, not when anyone who talked about her did so with the same distasteful tone, but it never failed to feel kind of… harsh. You didn’t need to grow up with a group of people to know how easy it can be to target one person and exaggerate every aspect of them until they grew to be a much bigger monster than they ever were in the first place.

“She seems sweet though… Is she really that bad?” It was hard to believe anyone could dislike her that much when she was all oversized knit sweaters and gentle enough smiles to make you melt from across an entire lecture hall.

“Hey! Put those heart eyes away!” Brock poked your hip until you looked at him instead, ignoring your annoyed huff, “What’d I just say? She’s a total narc who goes running to her father as soon as she hears anything. I’m assuming you’ve never been to Westview?” You shook your head; the drive to your new school didn’t take you past the town and you’d been too busy with classes to explore yet. “Right, well Wanda’s dad runs the church, the one all our parents go to; whenever he got wind of something going down, all of us got a speech at home. Bit of a shame, she’s kinda cute, but can’t tell that bitch anything unless you want it blown to shit-”

You might not have been friends with Wanda yet, but that didn’t mean you’d let someone, especially anyone as sleazy as Brock, demean her so boldly. It was in that sentence you discovered Wanda most likely kept her distance because of your new friend group. If so many people treated her how he did, you couldn’t blame her for staying away.

A hard elbow to the stomach left him choking on his own words, killing two birds with one stone to both shut him up and force him to let you go; you never liked how touchy he was anyways. “We’re all years into college now. She can’t still be like that.”

“I’m not gonna chance it,” he shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder as if you hadn’t just knocked the wind out of him, “She goes home a lot more than anyone else, heard Mr. Maximoff picks her up too even though he pays for her apartment here. Something about her needing her own space to stay focused without ‘distractions’... weirdos, don’t know how her brother turned out normal. Trust me, the most you’ll get with her is maybe a walk through the courtyard.”

A walk didn’t sound too bad right about now, particularly far away from this eye-opening, but awful little chat. “Well her dad doesn’t know me or my parents…” Maybe one day, hopefully, if you played your cards right, he would.

Clumsily grabbing your stuff, you rushed out the door Wanda crossed through just a few seconds prior, looking around and finding her rushing down the stone path. “Wanda!” She had to have heard you, stopping briefly before continuing on, walking purposefully away even as you yelled out her name again. “Wait up a sec!”

It was a quick sprint to catch up with her, speeding a little ahead to jump ahead, forcing her to stop so as not to collide with you. “Wanda.. Hey!”

“Hi,” Even after weeks of lectures, you’d never seen her this close and already Brock was wrong; Wanda wasn’t just kinda cute, she was beautiful. Green eyes regarded you cautiously, narrowed ever so slightly. Her stiff posture showed she was already on guard, so different from the easy way you’d seen her open up to anyone else and you couldn’t lie, it stung a bit. You didn’t want her to be so worried; maybe the people you sat with didn’t like her, but you’d never said a mean word and even if you tried, you couldn’t think of one to say.

You could barely think of a coherent sentence to offer her.

“Hi… sorry for yelling,” You were a little out of breath, weighed down by your bag and still groggy from your professor’s boring lecture. For a second, you were scared Wanda would simply side step you and keep walking, taking advantage of your fatigue to avoid you entirely, but her expression softened, turning almost apologetic for her hostility. She even had a cute pout. “Didn’t you hear me calling you?”

Faint laughter sounded out behind you and the classroom was a ways away now, but Wanda’s eyes darted over her shoulder, catching Brock and a few of his various pals now on the grass, waving your way. You would’ve shouted at them to quit it, but you heard Wanda’s sigh and chose to ignore the ruckus for now, not wanting to accidentally egg them on further. “I hear a lot of things. Doesn’t mean I should pay attention to them.”

“Right…” Shit. She must’ve caught bits of your conversation, Brock wasn’t exactly a subtle guy. Wanda was gone by the time you cut him off; given how openly disliked she was, it couldn’t have been the first time she’d overheard herself being talked about. No wonder she practically ran out of the room. “Sorry about that.”

You felt for her in a sense, could empathize with being ostracized from your peers. Typically, going away to college fixed that, but Wanda was still stuck with the same group of people. Not that you wanted to talk to her out of guilt, not even close; the first thoughts you’d had about Wanda were far more lustful than pitying. All you wanted was one chance to get to know her for yourself. “Can I walk you to your next class?”

Wanda didn’t even try to hide her shock and you tried to pretend her reaction didn’t scare you that your other classmate was right about the courtyard walk. “That was my only class today.”

“Mine too,” In truth, you had two long classes filling your afternoon; missing them just once wouldn’t hurt. Besides, you’d still be learning, replacing Wanda Maximoff for Governmental Statistics and World Literature. “Have lunch with me then?”

You could see her working through the proposition in her head, gauging your persistence against your seemingly genuine smile. She’d wanted to talk to you just as long as you had her, but there were…obstacles. Not only the crowd that drew you in, but also the beginnings of what she was just recently coming to terms with as a crush. Initially Wanda brushed it off as you being brand new, but when she caught herself making excuses to look your way and thinking about you while she grocery shopped, she knew her feelings wouldn’t pass by so easily.

As much as she knew her inexperience combined with her bottom tier social status meant she had about zero chance with someone like you who she’d seen flirting with more than one girl already in your short time here, Wanda couldn’t get herself over it— over you.

And Wanda wanted to have faith in you, to trust this wasn’t some awful prank you got roped into after you and her constant tormentors somehow sussed out her growing feelings and decided to poke at her new weakness for a laugh, it wouldn’t be the first time she’d fallen into that trap.

The first experience was traumatizing enough, Wanda would rather not have to relive it as an adult. If the words religious little daddy’s girl weren’t still ringing in her head, she wouldn’t have thought twice. “You want to have lunch with me?”

“Well I’d ask you out to dinner, but it’s only 1pm.” Not to mention, you’d been helpless thinking of some introduction that wasn’t clearly leading her on. Your usual smooth pickups felt too forward for a girl like Wanda, given what you knew about her; she’d take a lot of work to get to where you got with some people in just a few minutes and you really, really didn’t want to mess this up.

Wanda’s cheeks blossomed pink at your cheeky comment and you were glad to have caught even a glimpse of it before she could hide her face behind her notebook. At least you could bank on her not being too extremely prudish, that gave you some wiggle room. “To make up for that asshole back there, please? We can get whatever you want, I’ll even pay.”

The terms sounded like a date, a lunch date, but it was all the same to Wanda who’d never successfully been on a date as well as to her fluttering heart. You learned right then Wanda was beautiful when annoyed, but positively gorgeous when she smiled at you. There were a million and one ways she could’ve responded, from disgust to polite rejection to even an overly gushy yes, but Wanda had to at least try to reply with a fraction of your ease. “I didn’t say no the first time.”

“Well then, take us to your lunch spot of choice, sweetheart.” You stepped aside to let her go ahead, just missing Wanda’s cheeks darken to a tomato red from the sudden nickname, following close behind as your date led the way to her mystery destination.

“There’s not much around here, you probably know where you’re going…” She was right, all walkable campus things were familiar to you now, but you could care less.

“Shh, let me have this surprise-” Your phone buzzed in your pocket and unlocking it revealed an obnoxious text from Brock filled with kissy faces and laughing emojis. By the end of the day, it’d surely get around that you decided to hang out with their Public Enemy No.1, but you’d choose watching Wanda’s pretty pleated skirt bouncing ever so slightly as she walked with her adorable cautious glances, making sure you were actually still behind her, over the smell of sports sweat and hefty doses of Axe body spray any time. “I think you’re taking me the prettier route there anyways.”

Wanda’s mouth fell open when she realized your gaze wasn’t on the sidewalk or the leaves, but her, bashful yet again as she whipped back around. With less self-restraint you would’ve pulled her in for a hug, maybe nuzzled into her hair if you thought she’d accept that out here in the open. But girls like Wanda were a special kind, requiring time and coaxing and just the right words.

You were willing to give her all of that and more. If no one else wanted her, you’d sure as hell take her before some other idiot could.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff series #marvel imagine #confessions au.#maximotts #motts writes.

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