#I've never done this before so please let all the links work

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty six : crucifixion

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 12.7k

summary : judgement day.

warnings: major character death, above canon typical violence, very brief references to suicide, torture, body horror (briefly), feelings of despair, blood, wounds, general kodo grossness, vomit (reader vomits several times, it is never described in detail), language, angst, brief smut, pregnancy, death, reader is not doing well in this like she's at a breaking point, i may have missed some so feel free to let me know.

a/n: please read the warnings on this chap! it's the most serious of the bks updates, definitely a bit more intense than the rest. gonna work on getting 27 out within the next few day. i've been terrified of releasing this chapter since i started writing it so once i post this i'm going to dig a hole and sit in it and hide for a while lmao.

i changed my editing style so if there's spelling errors lmk!! apologies in advance!!

“My room is too big.” 

He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.

“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” You’re giggling along with him now, it’s the hardest you’ve ever heard him laugh. You both just laugh for a few minutes, as if each other's company is the most amusing thing in the world. 

Once your giggles fizzle out you wait another moment before breaking the silence. 

“Where did you grow up?” You can’t see him but you can sense where he sits in the darkness, you crawl forward so you’re sitting between his legs, your own legs wrap around his waist. “I’m just curious.” 

“Aq Vetina.” You can’t recall anything about the planet. You aren’t even sure you’ve heard of it. 

“Do you remember your parents well? You don’t talk about them very much.” You put your hands on his shoulders, ever so slowly moving them up to his neck until you’re cupping his face. 

“I’ll never forget them.” He whispers. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We can’t change the past.” You rub your nose against his, bumping them together as you hum and nod. “My mother loved ships. We didn’t travel, we never had a reason to, but she would take me outside and we’d watch ships fly past. I could never comprehend how she knew the name for all of them, it blew my mind.” You wrap your arms around his neck, staying silent in hopes that he’ll continue, he so rarely speaks so much. “My father worked a lot but he always made time for us, he was always home in time to say goodnight to me. He was always around when I needed him, he always provided for us. On his day off he’d spend the whole day cooking, I’d sit on the kitchen counter and tell him what my mother and I had done that week. When she’d come home we’d all eat dinner together.” 

“You sound like you were a happy child.” You can’t help but smile. 

“I never had reason to be otherwise.” He says it so matter of factly that you don’t doubt it for a second. He was loved. It only makes you smile wider.         

“What were you like, as a child?”

“Well behaved.” You immediately begin laughing once more. 

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe it. My mother homeschooled me, she always made sure I had manners. I wasn’t particularly athletic or talkative so I didn’t play with other kids a lot. It was just me and mama.” He sounds far away, it makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“So what did you do all day?” Your tone has softened significantly. 

“I would sew.” 

“Be serious.” He’s the one who laughs now at the disbelief in your voice.

“I am! I would sit with my mother after my lessons and we’d sew.” His fingertips dance along the back of your neck as he reminisces. 

“What kinds of things?” You don’t tease. When you really think about it you suppose such a hobby is fitting for him. A task that requires precision and care. 

“I would help her make clothes and blankets that she would sell most days. On the weekends she’d let me do whatever I wanted so I would practice my embroidery.” 

“My heart is actually about to explode out of my chest, you’re so cute.” You put on a mocking tone but the thought of such a thing really does make your heart clench. “Little Din Djarin stitching his name into his clothes.”

“You’re a cruel woman.” He leans forward, knocking his forehead against yours, almost as if he were reprimanding you. 

“What sorts of things would you embroider?” Your tone goes back to genuine, you could listen to him talk about himself for days and you’d never get bored. 

“Whatever my mother wanted. I would ask her what I should do and then I’d stitch it onto her blanket or the hem of her skirt. Mostly flowers, she loved daisies.” You’re pretty sure one of your ovaries literally popped at the thought of a little boy with dark curls and big brown eyes sitting beside his mother and embroidering a daisy onto her skirt. Your heart flutters a bit as you think of the necklace he got you. The silver outline of a flower you now realize is a daisy. “If he was ever gone for more than one night for work my father would bring her daisies, one for each day he was away.”

“Do you still know how?”

“I used to fix Grogu’s clothes when he ripped them but I haven’t done much else since I was a boy. He says it with finality but you carry on, not wanting him to stop talking. 

“What were their names? Your parents?”

“Clara and Arin Djarin.”  

“Those are pretty names.”

“What was it like for you? You said you had seven siblings right?”

“Eight actually.” You think of them now. There were eight of you and your parents' love for all of you combined wasn’t even a tenth of how much Din’s parents loved him. 

“Do you like having a big family?” He lifts you off of his lap, laying you back down as he crawls on top of you, laying against your chest. 

“I love it. I miss my siblings everyday, do you think we’ll be able to visit them someday?”

“If it’s safe to, of course we will.” He tilts his head, if you weren’t in darkness he’d be looking at you. 

“I wish they had visited here. They would have loved you.”

“You think?”

“Are you kidding me? The younger ones would adore you.” You tangle your finger in his hair, scratching his scalp. “Kids just naturally like you.” 

“They just haven’t learned to fear me.” You frown when he says it like a fact.

“I think it’s more than that.”

“Yeah?” The hopeful tilt to his voice has you leaning down to press a kiss into his hair. 

“Kids are intuitive, they can sense that you’re a good person.” He tenses up as you tell him he’s a good person. You know exactly what he’s thinking about now, how he punched your husband and then refused to leave. 

Neither one of you wants to talk about that though, not today. 

“What kind of room would you want? Since your current room isn’t to your liking.” He’s quick to change the subject and you let him.

“In all honesty, I like the cabin, I wish we could just live there.” You run your fingers through his curls as you think about it, gently pulling through any tangles.

“My cabin?” His voice is full of uncertainty as he pulls back a bit.

“It’s nice.” You feel a bit defensive, you consider the cabin to be the closest thing you have to a home. “Can you imagine getting to stay on Naboo? We could spend our mornings walking the market.” You rest your hand on the back of his neck now. “We could get jobs in the city, and then at night we’d come home.” 

“To the cabin?” He still sounds rather skeptical of your hypothetical future. 

“I’d cook dinner, you’d do the chores.”

“The cabin’s a bit small for us.” 

“We’d make it a bit bigger, add a few bedrooms, we don’t need that much space.” 

“A few?” He turns his head, his lips brush against your collar briefly as he kisses you there, freezing up when you speak again. 

“At least two, one for us and then some for any little Djarin’s who might need space.” With that he sits up entirely, his legs straddle your stomach.

“Little Djarin’s?”

“And Grogu, he would come live with us as well.” 

“You’d want him to live with us?”

“Of course, he’s a little Djarin.” Your hands rest on his thighs now as he seemingly ponders above you. He hums to himself in silence for a moment and you can’t help but grin at how seriously he’s taking all of this. 

“How many?” He finally speaks again and you laugh at the bluntness of his question. 

“Kids?”

“How many would you want?”

“You go first.” You haven’t ever talked about this sort of thing so you want to gauge his answer first so you don’t scare him too much with all the kids talk. 

“Maybe five? Or six.”

“Six?” Your voice pitches up immediately and you feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs. 

“Or five.”

“How about two, counting Grogu.” Turns out you didn’t need to worry about scaring him off. 

“How about three?” Three is manageable. 

“Counting Grogu?” 

“Counting Grogu.” He seems satisfied with that. 

“I suppose we could have three, you’re the one who has to build all the extra bedrooms.” 

“I don’t mind.”

“I’d work at the library and you’d work in a shipyard, we’d take turns staying home with the kids.” You pull him back to you, taking his hands and dragging him to lay his head on your chest once more.

“I’ve got enough savings, neither one of us has to work if you’d like.” It sends a twinge of pain to your heart how real this conversation has become, knowing that this exact dream isn’t possible. 

You could always make parts of it real.

Someday. 

“I’d want to work, to get out of the house, but you could stay home if you’d like.”

“When they’re still ik’aad, at least for the first few years I’d want to be with them.” He’s going to be a wonderful father. 

“Then I’d work, not long hours, just enough to get me out of the house, when I come home I’d give you a break, you could do the shopping and I’d watch the little’s.” 

“We’d go as a family, I wouldn’t want ‘a break.’” 

“You’d want to wrangle three kids in the markets?” You scoff in disbelief but he continues to sound completely serious. 

“They’d be well behaved.” You seriously doubt that. 

“What about either one of us makes you think our children will be well behaved? Is Grogu well behaved?” 

“We’ll manage.”

“They’ll be wild.” They will, not they would. 

“And smart.” He sits up again, hovering above you to give you a quick kiss. 

“And happy.” There isn’t a doubt in your mind that your children would be happy with Din as their father. 

“You’d really want to live here? I could build us a house anywhere.”

“I like Naboo, at least everything outside of the castle. I don’t even mind the castle, I just don’t care for the people inside it.” It’s true, somewhere along the way this place grew on you immensely. You love the city and the people in it. “And they’d get to play in the garden.” 

“I would build you a cabin anywhere you wanted, and I’d plant you a new garden.” He kisses along your cheeks and forehead as he speaks. 

“You wouldn’t need to plant me a garden if we lived here.” You insist. 

“We can’t live here, mesh’la.” He rubs a small circle with his thumb against your cheek. “This is too serious now, we’re supposed to be relaxed today.”

“When did we agree on that?” You muster up a weak laugh. 

“It was a silent mutual agreement.”

“I’m plenty relaxed.” You mumble. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling you as you let out an airy giggle. 

“I’m actually very tense and I think we should take a break from all this talking and take care of that.” He mumbles against your shoulder.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm.” He emphasizes his point by pressing his erection against your hip, you hadn’t even realized that this is where he was going with that. 

“How long have you been waiting to jump me?”

“When we started talking about the five kids I was gonna put in you.” He continues to nip at your neck and shoulders as he speaks. 

“Skipping the agreed upon three and going straight to five already? You’re not even going to attempt to negotiate for four?” 

“So you’re open to four?” He pulls back and you can hear his smile. 

“Let’s start with one and go from there.”

“Right now?” His hips stutter down a bit against yours. 

“Maker, you’re insatiable.” You both burst into another fit of laughter. 

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“I could get pregnant, and considering the lack of sex I’ve had with my husband I’m sure that might raise a few eyebrows.” 

“It would never get to that point, when we’re in the clear with this whole Kodo mess I’m getting you out of here.”

“Like… actually leaving Naboo?” 

“Exactly like that. I’m gonna take you far away from here when this is over, gonna keep you all for myself.” His hands move down, giving your hips a squeeze. 

“I’m already yours.” You laughed, rolling over to be on top of him. He’s right, if you’re going to leave anyway then what’s the worst thing that could happen? 

You never talked about that night after that. 

When everything sorted itself out you realized how crazy your fear had made you. You couldn’t just leave. At least that’s what you’d told yourself, now you feel like an idiot for not holding him to his words. It wasn’t realistic, you both knew actually leaving would take so much more preparation than a few whispered ideas during a time where neither one of you was in any position to be making such promises. 

It was just talk.

Lysa came to get you from the dining room. 

After everyone left you had no motivation to move, you just stood there, frozen in time. After a few hours she found you, she had taken your hand and walked you back to your chambers. She held your hand, she kept you upright when you threatened to crumble. And when you felt a wave of nausea ripple through you she rushed you to the fresher, a hand on your back as you threw up all over again. 

You sat breathlessly on the tile, Lysa rubbing your back.

“Gods, I’ve been nauseous since the wedding. Even before everything fell apart.” It’s the first words you’ve spoken since they took Din, your stomach is still churning. “This has never happened before.” You groan, you’ve had many moments of upset throughout your life, but none that made you physically ill. Lysa looks almost painfully worried. 

“Ma’am… is there a chance you might be…” 

Kriff.

You never talked about that night after that. 

Maybe you should have. 

You both did a lot of things during those days. You had been so angry, and he had done everything in his power to ease that anger, to keep both of you as happy as someone could be in your situation. 

You shouldn’t have used that as an excuse to be reckless. 

“I’d like to go to bed.” 

“Of course.” She helps you to your feet, walking you back to your room, you turn to her one last time before you close the door. 

“I’m sorry. Elaine never should have gotten involved in all this.” You’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if you could. 

“It’s not your fault.” She truly seems to believe that. 

Except it is. Elaine never would have found herself in this situation if she hadn’t so often been helping the two of you keep your secret. 

“Goodnight, Lysa.” 

“Goodnight, princess.” 

You lay on the bed, unable to bring yourself to sleep in the closet. 

It’s cold. Colder than Hoth, as you stare at the ceiling in your far too big bed in your far too big room. Even bigger now that it’s just you. 

You let your hand roam down your torso to rest on your stomach.

Just you, hopefully. 

☆

You’re now having nightly dinners with Kodo. 

You don’t get any respite from him, you just want to stay in bed. You’re nauseous and tired and your head hasn’t stopped spinning since that night. A million thoughts a minute. 

Where is he?

Is he okay?

What the fuck can I do about it?

Mostly that. 

The worst part is your lack of a plan. If the roles were reversed Din would have already rescued you and you’d be living happily ever after. 

But that isn’t how your story is going. Instead you are alone, with no scheme on how to get to him. It’s only been three days but it’s driving you insane, you have never known such hopelessness, it’s maddening. To sit alone in your room all day, staring at the ceiling until Lysa comes to dress you for dinner. Neither one of you ever speaks, afterall, what would you say to each other?

“I’m sorry the love of your life had been sentenced to die?”

How morbid. 

Not that you’re above being morbid. 

You think about it often. How easy it would be to drive your dinner knife into Kodo’s throat. You’re seated beside him now at dinner, both of you at the head of the table, joined by the rest of his family. 

The thought of killing him is the only thing that brings you peace these days. You’ve never once in your life been violent until now. Din is good. He’s a good man. In every way he is the opposite of your husband yet Din is the one locked away, Maker knows where, while Kodo is being rewarded. 

It doesn’t make you mad, it makes you furious. 

It makes you want to poison his wine. 

But you don’t have poison. 

And you can’t put yourself in danger. Because you feel fundamentally different, and even if you refuse to think that such a thing is possible you know you wouldn’t just be putting yourself in danger. There’s more at stake now. 

That’s what you tell yourself to stay calm, a feat that is getting harder by the minute as you’re sat beside Kodo who is currently bragging about how he defeated a Mandalorian. 

“They aren’t as strong as you think they are. Under the armor they’re weak, pathetic.” 

It took six battle droids to keep him down. You didn’t even get near him. 

“Some people just need to be taught a lesson, don’t touch what isn’t yours.” He sneers and the rest of the table erupts into laughter. “I certainly taught that horned bitch a lesson as well, you all should have seen what they brought me last night.” 

You perk up, this is the only thing they’ve said in days that truly matters to you. You’ve heard nothing about the current state of either of them until now. 

“What did they do to Elaine?” Everyone’s head turns to you, all their expressions look as if you’ve announced something treasonous but Kodo smiles as if he were explaining something to a child. 

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” He puts his hand over yours when he says it. 

You don’t ask for any follow up. 

You don’t think you could stomach it, so you stay silent for the rest of your meal. When you’re finished you stand, the rest of the table is starting to pour more drinks but you simply lean down, mumbling something about being tired before giving Kodo a quick kiss on the cheek and dismissing yourself. 

You’re waiting for the night where he joins you in your chambers, after all his father is dead, but it has yet to happen. He had told you that once he was king he would be in need of heirs but he seems happy enough with his pleasure houses and you’re more than grateful for the women you entertain him so you don’t have to. 

So you return to your chambers alone, peeling off your gown before burying yourself under the covers. 

Sleep evades you as you toss and turn. You aren’t even tired, there’s too much going on in your mind, there’s no room for exhaustion. After about an hour you manage to drift in and out of unconsciousness, earning a brief reprieve from your anxieties until a sharp knocking has you jolting upright. 

You don your robe, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you rush to the door, you’re too tired to wonder who might even be bothering you at such an hour as you pull the door open. 

Lysa?

“We have to hurry, ma’am.” She grabs your arm, frantically tugging you into the hall. 

“Lysa? What are you doing? Are you okay?” 

“I am fine, but we don’t have much time.”

“Surely you have enough to tell me where we are going.” 

“Do you want to see him or not?” 

Din.

You nod, taking her hand as he rushes onward, stopping at each hall to peer around the corners until you make your way to a servants stairwell, skipping several steps in your descent until you run out of stairs. You’ve never been down here, you didn’t even know there were dungeons until recently. 

It makes your stomach twist in knots the moment you stare into the darkness. 

“Are there no guards?” You whisper, squeezing her hand.

“Not for the next hour, I’ve made sure of it.” She begins walking down the poorly lit corridor, pulling you along behind her. 

The stone floor is damp and it smells of mildew. Your bare feet are already freezing after just a few steps.

Every cell you pass is lit from the outside with a hanging lantern, they’re mostly empty, but you catch glimpses of movement out of the corner of your eye every now and then. In all honesty you’re doing your best to take in as little as possible, you don’t want to think about Din being down here in such a place, but there’s one element you can’t ignore. 

The wailing. 

Someone is weeping, a low, sorrowful song filling the vast maze of halls and you realize quickly you’re heading in its direction, Lysa tenses beside you as you continue on. You’re about to turn one more corner when she abruptly stops, turning to face you.

“He needs to eat.” She removes a fistful of rations from her apron pocket, shoving them into your hands. 

“He hasn’t?” He’s been down here for three days. 

“He won’t… let me.” You pause, cocking your head to the side and she gives you an apologetic look when she turns. “He won’t let me uncover his face.”

Oh. 

“I’ll feed him.” You nod slowly, tucking them into your own pockets before turning the corner. The contents of the cell immediately on your right have you stumbling backwards but Lysa is not swayed, pulling a key from her pocket, unlocking the door quickly before handing it to you. 

“He’s two cells down, on your right.” She doesn’t look at you as she rushes in, pulling a roll of bandages from her dress. “Shh… it’s okay, I’m here.” Her voice goes soft as she kneels beside Elaine. You can’t help it as you step into the entryway of the cell. 

Well, you’ve found the source of the wailing. 

She’s sat on a cot, curled in on herself as Lysa carefully peels back a series of soiled bandages from her face. 

“I’ve got you, it’s just me.” She continues to make an attempt to sooth a rather hysterical Elaine as she peels back the final layer of bandages and your stomach flips. “You’re okay, love, I need to change these.” You don’t know how Lysa is so calm, even in the darkness you can see the extent of her wounds. Now you know what they brought Kodo last night.  

Both eyes. 

“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” 

Oh gods. 

You’re worried you may collapse as you watch Lysa tend to her with no hesitation, cleaning them with a careful hand before she begins to redress them. You can’t bear to watch any longer as Elaine begins sobbing once more. You try desperately to force the sight of your mutilated friend from your mind as you count down two more cells before quickly fumbling for the lock, letting it hit the floor as you take the lantern outside the door off its hook, bringing it into the dark room. 

It isn’t like Elaine’s cell. 

There’s no bed or interior light, it’s terribly dark and fetid, his cell running deeper than her’s. It takes a few steps for you to finally illuminate the room enough to see him. 

Maker. 

What have they done to your Din? 

You don’t hear Elaine anymore, there isn't a single thing that could distract you from the scene in front of you. There is nothing but the sight of your kar’ta. There’s too much for you to worry about, you don’t even know where to start, you’re frozen in place, a small part of your brain refuses to recognize the man before you as Din at all. He shouldn’t look like this. 

Armorless. 

They’ve stripped him of any clothing you recognize, the thought alone makes you nearly lose your dinner. 

They took his helmet, replacing it with a linen sack.  

Did they see his face?

You briefly have to shut your eyes, taking a deep breath as you take in the rest of him. His clothes are too thin, he must be freezing, they’ve dressed him in a cotton tunic and trousers that end just below the knee. You can see just how beaten and bruised he is. Unlike Elaine he’s in chains, kneeling on the floor with his hands shackled, taut above his head. You swallow the lump in your throat and finally crouch down in front of him, setting the lantern down beside you as you reach out to place a hand on his chest.

“Din…” Your voice cracks and the moment you come in contact with him he flinches back. Suddenly you know how Lysa held it together so well with Elaine, she just had to. You can’t fall apart, who would care for him now if you did? “It’s me, just me. Just me.” You whisper and place a hand over his heart but withdraw it quickly when he trembles under your touch. You ache at the sight of it but more than anything you’re confused, it only takes a moment for you to realize the issue. 

He doesn’t have his helmet. They’ve not only left him here blind, but deaf, of course any touch would frighten him. 

He assumes you're here to harm him. 

You lean in, careful not to come in contact with him as you speak clearly and loudly. 

“Din?” His trembling stops instantly. You find it a bit troublesome how much worse his hearing seems to have gotten in such a short time, you’re half tempted to reach under the bag to make sure he still has his ears. 

“Sarad?” Oh, Din. His voice is terribly small and it sends you forward, wrapping your arms around him as you pull him into an unreciprocated embrace. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You make sure to speak loud enough for him before pulling back, placing your hands against the fabric covering his face. 

“Are you okay?” He coughs a bit as he asks and you almost laugh at how ridiculous the question is considering the state he’s in. Are you okay? 

Technically no. 

But far better than he’s doing. 

“I’m perfectly fine, what can I do for you? Are you hurting?” You feel his face through the bag as you look down across his body. It doesn’t look like there’s been any permanent damage outside of a pretty nasty cut on one of his legs. 

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Now’s not the time to play the hero, Din.” He flinches a little and you calm your tone immediately. What the hell did they do to him? “Just let me help.”

“How’d you get down here?” 

“Lysa, she says you aren’t eating.” 

“She’d have to lift my- the bag to do it.” He sounds apologetic, as if you could ever fault him for following his creed. 

“It’s okay… may I?” You bring your hands to the hem of the bag but his head turns sharply.

“I- I don’t want you to look.” 

You have no response. He’s always wanted you to look. 

“I just, I don’t think you wanna see the condition I’m in. I don’t want your only memories of my face to be this.” He whispers when you don’t respond.

You should have looked when he asked you to. You should have done a lot of things differently. 

You shouldn’t have waited so long to look. 

You shouldn't have waited so long to tell him you loved him. 

You should have just let yourself love him. Why did you fight it for so long? It seems silly now. If you could do it all again you would have just taken his helmet off the first night you met him and you would have married him right then and there. You would have left Naboo that night.

And you would never keep any of it from him. You would tell him how important he is and how loved he is, you wouldn’t make him wait. 

Even now you can’t help it though, censoring yourself out of fear. Do you tell him about how nauseous you get every morning? About the way Lysa stares at your belly when she does your makeup? 

No. 

It wouldn’t do either of you any good, not when he’s in this situation. 

You take hold of the edges of the bag once more, gentler this time. 

“I’ll close my eyes.” You lift the fabric completely off of him, setting it in your lap as you simultaneously shut your eyes. You keep one hand on his face, using your thumb to find the corner of his mouth as your other hand fumbles to open a ration bar. You feel him part his lips as you feed him. He’s barely chewing, eating quickly and swallowing most of it whole. “Have they fed you at all?” You whisper as he finishes the first bar in a matter of seconds, his teeth lightly scraping against your fingers before you withdraw them, tearing open another bar.

“No.” His voice is still soft as you go to feed him once more, opening each package until he’s eaten them all. 

“Are you still hungry? I could see if Lysa has more.” 

“I’m okay.” You let your head fall forward, resting your forehead on his. 

“What else can I do for you?” 

“Nothing. Being here is enough.” 

If you had felt helpless before it was nothing compared to this. This is more than helplessness, it’s despair. 

“I’m sorry.” You pull yourself further into his lap, wrapping your arms around him in the process. 

“Hey… none of this is your fault.” It certainly feels like it is. Why does he keep comforting you when he’s the one shivering and alone down here? 

“Please, there has to be something I can do to help you.” 

“There is one thing.” You almost open your eyes, you're so relieved, you just want to ease his pain. 

“Anything. I’ll do anything.” 

“I need you to promise me you won’t look.”

“Won’t look?” Your eyes are already closed, you couldn’t look any less if you tried. 

“When they do it. I don’t want you to see it- it won’t be pretty.”

When they separate his head from his body. 

“I won’t.” You can’t deny him this, you’ll give him anything he wants. “Do you know how much I love you?” You whisper before leaning forward another inch to kiss him. 

The question is genuine. It terrifies you to your core to think that he may not know just how much you love him. 

“Of course sarad.” He murmurs against your lips until you let your head rest on his shoulder, fighting back tears. 

What do you say now?

What do you say to a man condemned to death? 

“I love you.” You mumble into the thin fabric of his tunic. 

“I love you too.” After a moment more with him you hear metal jingling as Lysa locks Elaine's cell once more. You quickly pull back from him, pulling the bag back over his head, once you know he can’t see you anymore the tears flow freely. Lysa steps into the cell and you remove your robe, wrapping it around him, immediately he begins to protest. 

“Mesh’la, you can’t leave this here.” His voice is strained and it makes you sick to think he started crying once he was out of sight as well. 

“Please, y-you’re gonna freeze.”

“They’ll know you were here, sarad’ika.” 

“Din…” You’re practically babbling as Lysa removes your robe from his shoulders, an apologetic look on her face as she grabs your arm. 

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we need to go.” Tears sting your eyes as Lysa urges you to hurry but you don’t want to leave him, you want to stay, no matter the consequence. You pull away from her, wrapping your arms around his torso. 

“You need to go.” His voice is urgent through the fabric as you cling to him tighter. 

Would it be easier to just stay? Get caught and join him at the executioners? You’re genuinely considering it when you feel your stomach churn once more and you’re reminded of the exact reason why you can’t stay. Before you lose your nerve and shatter completely you lift the bag, just enough to give you an eyeful of his split lip and bruised jaw as you gently lean in and kiss him one more time. 

Doing everything in your power to remember exactly what it feels like.

The curve of his lips and the shape of his chin, the overgrown stubble brushing against your skin as you press your face harder against his, desperation taking over as you taste salt on his lips. You hold him as long as you can, until you hear Lysa urging you to make haste once more. 

“I love you.” You press your forehead to his through the fabric, feeling the familiar shape of his face against yours. 

“I’ll always be yours.” 

That was the last thing he was able to say before you let Lysa drag you out of the dungeons. 

☆

It’s like everythings suddenly back to the beginning. 

You wake up alone, you go to bed alone, and you wander the castle alone.

There is no plotting or scheming to free Din. 

Even if you were a trained killer or bounty hunter, it would be more than difficult to get him out of the dungeon and on a ship off Naboo. It would be even harder to do so when you’re one of the most recognizable people on the planet. 

He is buried deep beneath the ground and there is nothing you can do about it. 

After all, you're just a doll. 

You don’t know when it happened but all your clothes are blue again. Every dress Lysa fetches from the closet is a different shade of blue and all your nightgowns are the color of the sky. A personal brand put on you by Kodo. It’s clearly more than just a preference now, it’s a reminder to you and everyone else that you’re his. 

And time blends. 

You know a date was set right around the time you visited him. One week until Kodo’s coronation and two until the execution. His first public event after being crowned king will be a death sentence, how fitting. 

So you wake. 

And you sleep. 

And you walk. 

Kodo never replaces Din and you haven’t seen Leo since that night, so you’re completely alone. It’s like he’s rubbing in the fact that you’re powerless. There’s no need for you to have a guard, you can’t leave. If you tried you’d be escorted back in an instant. 

You tried to convince Lysa to let you see him again last night. 

“Please, just a few minutes-“

“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just not possible. The only reason I was able to get you down there the first time was because the guard that usually lets me in was working nights, he won’t be working nights again until next month.”

Din won’t live to see next month. 

“Is he eating?”

“He won’t let me-“

“You need to insist. Tell him I insist, and tell him you’ll close your eyes.” 

She pins back a bit of your hair, leaving half up and half down. You both bask in the silence for a moment.

“I’ll make sure he eats.”

“Thank you.”

That had been the last conversation you had with Lysa. 

She doesn’t come to dress you in the morning. You think nothing of it and dress yourself in the gown she’d laid out last night. It’s a bit difficult, putting your coronation gown on on your own but eventually you manage, when you’re fully dressed in the obscenely decadent blue fabric you begin to worry. 

You have no reason to assume that everything is fine. It would actually make sense for this to be a worst case scenario situation, everything else in your life is right now. 

You’re about to leave in search of her but you decide against it. Sitting at the vanity and doing your makeup as quickly as possible, the last thing you need to do right now is give Kodo a reason to be upset with you, you have to be presentable. You smear the shimmering blue eyeshadow across your lids before rushing out of your room. 

The halls are full. Servants move quickly from room to room, cleaning every inch as you carefully push through the crowds, making a beeline towards the dining room. 

Kodo is seething when you push open the large doors. 

He stands at the end of the table, shoving an armored guard as the veins in his neck jut out in his rage. 

“Where could she have possibly gone? She’s blind. You’re telling me some blind bitch outsmarted my entire guard?” 

Your heart flutters at the thought.

They escaped.

Your hope is shattered the moment Kodo begins speaking again.

“At least we still have the Mandalorian… I want security tripled, guards stationed outside his cell at all times.” He continues grumbling for a moment until he realizes you’re there. “Happy coronation day dear wife! I’m afraid we’ve had a rough morning here, somehow in the night the Togruta girl escaped, do not fret, we’ll find her.” 

God's you hope not.

Even if things are worse than ever regarding Din there is one flicker of light in that darkness. Lysa got Elaine out. Knowing that almost puts you at ease.

“Happy coronation day.” You actually manage a smile when you look at your husband, it’s weak but it’s genuine. You want to be mad that they didn’t help Din escape but you just can’t be. You know they most likely tried but if the roles had been reversed and you could only get one of them out you wouldn’t hesitate. 

So there is no animosity. Just a flicker of happiness for them.

They got out.

☆

You were under the impression that a coronation was a happy event. Yet when you step out onto the castle steps it seems to be quite the opposite. 

They look miserable. 

All of their faces are sullen and dejected. How shocking, no one is excited about Kodo being crowned king. He didn’t have any of the outside of the castle decorated or made presentable in any way. No one reacts when Kodo reads from an ancient looking book until a crown is placed on his head. 

A moment afterwards you’re instructed to kneel and a tiara is placed onto your head. 

The audience is silent and you feel shame when you stare out at them.

Even if you don’t have very much power you still feel as if you’ve failed them. The feeling follows you when you’re directed to the dining hall with Kodo.

“I have a couple gifts for you, wife.” His twisted smile makes your stomach turn as you enter the dining hall, now decorated with blue and gray banners.  

“A gift? You shouldn’t have, my king, I- I didn’t get you anything.” You feign remorse as you take a sip of the wine in front of you on instinct before spitting it back up into the cup. 

“That’s more than okay, you’re my gift, sweet wife, all mine.” The thought of such a thing makes you sick, you smile despite yourself. 

“That’s very kind.” You’ll only ever be Din’s. No amount of blue fabric and faux smiles can change that. He snaps his fingers and a large box is brought to you by a servant, they set it directly in front of you on the table. You look at Kodo who nods, sitting back in his chair as you stand, the box is wrapped in checkered blue paper, a large bow adorning the top. Your hands tremble a bit as you take hold of the edges of the ribbon, tugging on them until the bow slips free, much to your surprise the entire box falls open, the sides collapsing giving you an immediate view of the contents. 

The silver, shimmering contents. 

Din’s helmet. 

Polished like new, it sits before you, and the room suddenly empties. It’s as if you are completely alone, despite all the eyes that are most definitely pinned on you right now. Your hands continue to shake as your fingers wrap around the beskar steel, like you would when you held Din’s face, lifting it to glare into the visor. 

Empty. 

You can’t help but stare at your own emptiness reflected back at you. 

You want to hold it close, press it to your forehead but you’re snapped back to reality by the grating sound of Kodo’s voice breaking you from your focus on the helm between your hands. 

“That’s only one of your presents, open the next one.” He hisses gleefully. 

You set the helmet down, realizing there was another, much smaller box underneath it. Silently you scoop it up and cradle it in your hands. It’s a larger than a ring box, it just barely fits in your palm as you ever so gently open it, swinging the top open as if it were a tiny treasure chest.              

Huh.

It takes a moment.

You aren’t exactly sure what it is you’re looking at at first but when it registers your entire body tenses up, your grip tightening on the gift box. 

Bloody and pink, a tongue. 

Of course you know better than to assume Kodo would give you any old tongue. This is a special someone’s tongue. 

No, no, no, no, no. 

You had loved his tongue before anything else.

He can’t do this, he cannot do this to you.

You had fallen for his sharp wit first, it was what drew you into him. His sweet words had won you back, his declaration of devotion.

Now you hold all of that in the palm of your hand. 

“What do we say?” His nasally voice breaks through your mental anguish. 

No.

“Come on, where are your manners?”

Please. 

“Thank you.” Your whisper is nearly silent as you struggle to keep down the scream bubbling in your throat.

“What was that?” 

You clear your throat. 

“Thank you.” 

He makes you take it with you. You don’t bother telling him you won’t be attending the coronation ball in a few minutes, it’s not like you’ll be missed. 

In one arm you’re cradling his helmet, in the other the little blue box. 

You set each one down carefully onto the bed, even if it’s a bit demented these are the only parts of him you have left. You stare at the little box. 

You have never been hateful. 

Kodo made you into this. You are full of hate, for most things at this point. You hate your husband, you hate your room, and most of all you hate the little blue box on the bed. 

And the music starts. 

It must be deafening in the hall for you to hear it from your room but it’s there, loud and demanding of your attention. 

You’re moving before you even have a chance to think about it, in a few quick strides you’re standing beside the vanity, your hands gripping the top of the mirror as you pull it down in one swift motion, the contents spill everywhere and the glass shatters in an instant, shards splattering the floor but you take no time to process it. 

You move on to the next thing.

You yank each drawer from the dresser, throwing them to the floor, clothes strewn about until it’s light enough for you to push the entire dresser over. In your frenzy you go about the room toppling every stupid fucking table over. So many fucking end tables in  one room, and you throw everyone to the floor, trinkets and vases clattering to the ground as you destroy the room. You get a rush of adrenaline as you lift one of your nightstands and throw it against the wall leaving a small dent but more importantly the force of it makes anything hanging on the wall tumble to the floor, glass frames shatter. 

Your chest heaves as you stare at the carnage.  

And it isn’t enough.

Your face is wet with tears and your hands with blood from cuts you didn’t feel upon your skin as you tear open the closet door, the pile of blankets mock you from the floor, you grab them, your vision now blurry with tears as you pull them out of the closet, throwing them onto your bedroom floor. When you return to the closet you’re in a frenzy, you tear at the fabric before you, yanking each and every dress off their hangers, ripping what you can.

There is nothing else for you to do, so you destroy everything you can get your hands on until the only thing left untouched is your bed, left in pristine condition as you let out a small sob. 

Maybe you are a hateful person now. 

You feel as though you have every right to be at this point. 

You step over the shard of glass, giving your bloody hands a glance before wiping them on your gown.

Happy coronation day. 

You sit on the bed, your trembling fingers wrap around the helmet, now that you’re alone you waste no time to hold it against you face, until your body just gives up, too tired to stay awake anymore.

☆

A guard wakes you in the morning, knocking on your door, when you answer it they tell you Kodo requires your presence in his chambers.

You dress in a blue gown that you don’t look too closely at. Stopping at the fresher on the way, rinsing the dried gore from your palms, wincing as you clean your wounds. None of which seem too deep. 

You want to cut Kodo’s tongue out, to make him feel it. But you know that sort of thing would be an impossible task. So you daydream about it as you walk. You’re more than displeased when you open the door and are greeted by Leodall. You hadn’t seen him since that night and from the looks of it he wasn’t expecting you. He swallows loudly when you step inside Kodo’s room.

Normally you’d be curious, you’d probably take a look around but your eyes refuse to focus on anything but Leo as you scowl at him. 

“Why’d you do it?” You don’t hesitate to ask, you have no idea how quickly Kodo will be joining you. 

He simply stares at you, shame apparent on his face.

“You owe me an explanation at the very least.” You cross your arms in front of your chest as he clears his throat. 

“I thought he’d reward me.”

You laugh. A harsh dry sound 

“What could he have possibly given you that you couldn’t have just asked me for?” Your gaze never softens and you’re practically seeing red as you stare at him.

“I thought he’d give me a lordship.” 

You can’t help it as another crisp and pained laugh slips past your lips. 

“You thought Kodo would raise your status? I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Is he an idiot? “He doesn’t see servants as people, if you wanted such a thing you could have asked me, maybe I could have done something.” 

A glimmer of something similar to hope flashes through his eyes. 

“Would you- would you consider doing so now?”

“You cannot be serious-” Your expression goes from fury to disbelief as you stand. 

“It seemed worth asking.” He puts his hands up defensively as you storm up to him, poking a finger into his face. 

“You slimy little weasel, it should be you on the chopping block, not him. If it were up to me I’d have them put your head on a spike.” The words pour out of you like venom. 

“I would be nicer to me if I were you.” He sneers and your incredulity only grows. You can’t help it, you scoff in his face. 

“I would rather die.” A part of you really means it. 

“You might if you aren’t careful, I saved your life by letting Elaine and your Mandalorian take the fall, I could have told the king that you were a willing participant. I saw the two of you together, I read your little rules. He never forced himself on you. I wonder what Kodo might think about that.” You aren’t a fighter, you’ve never so much as thrown a punch in your life but you grab him by the collar of his shirt and slam him into the wall, the back of his head hits the stone and you don’t feel an ounce of remorse as you do so. 

“Do it.” You tilt your head to the side, almost as if you’re taunting him. “Tell him.” Any of the confidence he briefly had is gone in an instant. “The moment you do I’ll tell him that you’re covering your tracks, and that you made a pass at me. I wonder how Kodo would reward you for trying to touch what’s his?” Leo’s head turns as you both hear Kodo’s piercing voice in the hall. You release your grip on his shirt, brushing off your gown as you turn towards the door. Kodo and three others make their way into the room as Leo coughs behind you. 

“Dear wife, I have another gift for you.” He takes a step to the side, gesturing at a line of three people you don’t give so much as a glance. He doesn’t even seem to notice the obvious tension in the room. “A new staff!”

“I don’t need a new staff, I’m fine on my own.” You abandon the pleasantries. You’re in such a state of upset right now, what's the point? 

“You’re the queen now, staff is required. These three will replace the ones you've lost in a week, until then Leodall will be training them intensively to tend to your every need. Two guards will also be assigned to you but I promise they will be much less loathsome than your Mandalorian.”

All five of them will be trained to keep an eye on you. To report back to Kodo, after everything with Din you should have known he’d keep you on a shorter leash. 

You barely look at them. 

You hate them. 

You shouldn’t, they’ve done nothing wrong, but you hate them. 

You give each one a quick up and down, naming them in your mind. 

A BD-3000 droid commands the most authority just based on how she stands so you mentally note her as Elaine's replacement. You’ll call her new Elaine. 

New Lysa is a pasty young blonde woman with rosy cheeks. You truly wonder how well informed she has been on your circumstance. She’s smiling from ear to ear and seemingly couldn’t be happier to be here. 

And new Leo is somehow even more nervous looking than actual Leo, practically shaking like a leaf at the sight of you. The bags under his eyes are worse than your own. A lanky thing with messy brown hair. 

There’s no reason for you to fight this, Kodo always gets his way so why bother. So you nod. You don’t pretend to be grateful this time, instead you shove your way past all of them, content to return to your room and never leave. 

☆

The morning of the execution comes before you’re ready for it. 

Of course you didn’t sleep last night, how could you?

You dress yourself, apparently your new staff isn’t starting until tomorrow, not that you mind another day to yourself. You manage to find something that isn’t blue, a gray dress trimmed with gold, the closest thing you’ll find to funeral attire. No one else will dress with any respect for him but they can’t stop you. Your vanity is destroyed so you don’t bother with your hair or your makeup, you simply don’t care enough. 

For the most part you feel nothing when you open the door, only emptiness until you look down. 

Someone left you a small vase of flowers. 

You pick them up, taking a closer look but your heart skips a beat when you do so.

Daisies. 

After a few short breaths you throw the vase into the wall across from your door, tiny shards of porcelain fly everywhere as two servants at the end of the hall give you a look of horror. Your shoes crunch over the remains of it as you make your way down the hall and to the entryway of the castle. 

Kodo insists that the two of you get to see him first. 

You’re sweating wildly out on the steps as you wait.

Long before you’re ready for it they bring him out. 

A shivering skeleton of a man with a linen bag over his head, immediately bile rises in your throat. Kodo is grinning ear to ear when his legs are kicked out from under him and he’s forced to kneel.

Kodo himself reaches forward and tears the bag off, too excited for any decorum or finesse. 

You gasp as you stare down at the broken man before you.

In all honesty he isn’t at all what you envisioned. 

His eyes verge on being hazel; they're such a light brown. You’d always pictured them to be nearly black. It doesn’t matter what color they are though, when you see the tears forming in his lash line you flinch, clutching the ring on your necklace to silently let him know silently just how much he means to you. 

He’s a mess. 

You don’t like looking at what those weeks in the dungeons did to him and the last thing you need to do right now is empty your stomach on the palace steps. 

He’s too thin. Far, far, too thin, it’s like his entire being has shrunk down. He’s hollow.

Your breath hitches when Kodo grabs a fistful of his dark hair, forcing him to turn and stare at the crowd. They must have cut it while he was down there it’s a mess, jagged edges and shorter than you’re used to. 

“This man has committed an act of treason against the crown.” His voice is loud and booming as the city goes quiet. “For such a crime he shall face the proper punishment.” He yanks him downawards, you watch in horror as Din’s head hits the stone, an incoherent mess of sounds pour from his bloody mouth and you have to look away. 

He didn’t want you to look.

You remind yourself to try and calm your breathing. You can hear the scuffle as they drag him to the guillotine, placing his neck into the wooden divot, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you turn to look. His eyes are everywhere but on you as he looks at the people around him, desperately pleading for his life. Not a single person so much as glances at him, afterall, it’s just nonsense, no one can understand him without a tongue. 

You can’t stand it, you almost cover your ears but you manage to resist as Kodo puts an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. 

“You’re welcome, sweet wife.” He whispers, his breath hot and wet against your ear. 

Fuck it. 

You don’t suppress the shudder in your spine as you shoot him a look of disgust. In a matter of moments everything you care about will be gone, why pretend any longer.

A bellowing chime plays from a nearby clock tower and you know it’s time, you straighten up as you stare at the guillotine in abject horror. 

This is it. 

Your chest rises and falls in sharp short bursts as everyone prepares themselves, a hush forming among the crowd on the street. 

And it begins, a chain reaction that you cannot stop now that the executioner has his ax raised above his head.

You had expected more. More time.

A part of you thought that time would slow, that you’d have a chance to stop it. 

But no. 

There is no epic fairy tale moment where the sun glimmers off of the blade and the executioner raises his ax, giving you this perfect moment to run to him, to shield him from the inevitable, to beg them to take you with him. 

That moment never comes. 

You barely have enough time to close your eyes like you promised him. In one unbroken motion the rope is cut, the blade falls and boom. 

Just like that, he’s gone. 

When you hear the metal slicing through the air you squeeze your eyes shut, hearing only the wet crunch as it cuts through flesh and bone. A soft, squishy thud when his head hits the stone. 

In fashion with your decision to no longer hide your disgust from Kodo you vomit. Bending down you puke onto the stones, spraying your own, and Kodo’s feet. The triumphant smile on his face vanishes as he realizes what’s happened. You wipe your mouth on the back of your hand, refusing to look at Din’s limp body as you give Kodo one last look of detestation before turning around and running back into the castle, not caring what anyone thinks anymore.

The moment you’re inside the reality of it all settles in as you feel tears falling wildly as you run up the steps to your room.

☆

You have been good, and kind, and in return the maker rewarded you by killing the love of your life. 

So when you stand in the center of your demolished room you do the only thing your body can do at this point. 

You scream. 

From deep within your stomach, you scream, loud and raw. 

If anything was left unbroken in your room you’d be throwing it at the wall. But there’s nothing so you scream. 

You shriek.

You howl. 

And you wail.

You scream until there is no more noise. Your voice, like the rest of you, gives up. 

You aren’t sure how late it is when you finally stop. You’re tired and it’s dark outside and your throat is raw. 

And you lay on the floor. Because the bed is too big, and too cold, and the closet is so empty. So the only place left to sleep is there. You lay on the floor with no more tears to cry and no more sounds to scream as you stare at your bed, only from this angle can you see a rectangular shape under your bed frame. 

You wipe your nose with a stray piece of fabric before slowly crawling over to it, you sit on the floor and when you retrieve the item a brand new lump forms in your throat as you stare down at the box Din had bought all those days ago at the market. 

Your failsafe. 

With quivering hands you open it, staring into the small space containing a mess of items but what catches your eye is a piece of folded paper with your name on it. You take it between your fingers, opening it, careful to not let your tears fall onto it. 

Sarad’ika,

If you’re reading this then I’m afraid things aren’t going all that well for me. There are plenty of possible reasons as to why I’m no longer with you, but what’s important is that I plan on doing everything in my power to get back to you. There is only one thing in the galaxy that could keep me from your side, and if that is my fate then this box will ensure you’re taken care of. 

The most important thing is for you to get off this planet. I have included a few possible plans for you, do what you have to to survive. Elaine will help you escape. 

You can seek out Greef Karga on Nevarro. Tell him Din Djarin sent you, tell him what’s happened and he will see to it that you are cared for. Explain our circumstances and I am certain he will provide you with safe lodging. 

Tatooine is also an option. You’ll find a Mandalorian there by the name of Boba Fett, he will not turn you away. You will be protected there, if you need to relocate for some reason after that he will help you locate the Mandalorian convert. Show the Mandalorians your ring and you will be cared for the rest of your life, the convert will protect you. 

As an absolute last resort there is a planet located in the Outer Ring called Ossus. There is a school there, taught by a man named Luke Skywalker. I doubt he would be eager to take you in but you must insist. Bring the chainmail, they’ll know who sent you. Take care of each other. 

In this box you will find enough credits to get you off planet and take care of you for several months, a year if you’re frugal, I suggest you take a few jewelry pieces to pawn off for extra credits as well. You will find a small chainmail shirt, and a necklace of mine. 

And lastly you will find your vibroblade. 

Protect yourself. You’re strong, and more than capable of doing so.

I have one request for you, please, I will only ask this one thing of you. 

Be smart. 

You are the smartest and kindest person I have ever had the honor of knowing. Be smart, take care of yourself. If the roles were reversed I know that I would go to extremes to either get you back, or find justice for you. And all I can do is ask that you do not attempt any such thing, the only thing I would ever want for you is safety and happiness. 

So seek those things out. 

Be safe. Be happy.   

I was lucky to know you, and even luckier to be yours. 

an ner kar'taylir darasuum, 

Din

All my love. 

You flip the paper over, desperate for more, more Din, but all you find is scrawled coordinates to each location. Your fingers sift through the items, everything he promised is found inside but you latch onto the blade. Laying back down on the floor you clutch it between your fingers as you think of Din.

Din, who was yours.

Din, who they took from you.

Who Kodo, took from you. 

And your grip on the knife tightens. 

☆

Two guards stand outside your door round the clock now. 

They never follow you or come into your room but they’re there, silently watching as you direct all your anger at your new staff. As promised Leo trained them to be as persistent and infuriating as he was. 

When the two new girls come to fetch you in the morning you can’t help it when you scream at them to leave you alone and to stop trying to clean the ever growing mess of things. 

It doesn’t matter that it isn’t their fault, you can’t stand the sight of anyone. 

All three of them try. New Elaine and Lysa show up three times a day, trying to dress you and squeeze their way past you into the room but after enough shrieking they always leave you be. 

New Leo usually tries once or twice a day, you don’t even look at him. You always stare at the floor, when he tries to speak you give him the same treatment as the girls, screaming at him and slamming the door. 

Why should you let them in? You know what they are. They’re here to spy on you, to be Kodo’s eyes while he’s busy being king. They’re easy to evade. When you leave to fetch yourself food or a book from the library you easily outrun them. The two girls are worse at navigating the castle than you were when you first arrived and new Leo has a bad leg, sometimes he’ll make attempts to limp after you but they’re always unsuccessful. 

You think of nothing, day after day because there is nothing to think about. 

Except for the fact that Kodo took your future away from you. He took everything from you. 

If you thought time was blending before Din’s death nothing could have prepared you for now. You don’t track the days as well, you keep your curtains drawn and only leave when you get hungry or start to think of Din. The last thing you need to do is have another screaming fit so you keep him locked away in your heart, an ache that’s always there that you don’t address. 

One day, in a fit of tears you took your knife and decided on a whim to kill Kodo. You didn’t care about the repercussions at that point you just wanted him to suffer but the moment you opened the door you nearly tripped, stumbling backwards the guards didn’t so much as glance at you. 

Another vase of flowers.

You’re tempted to just kick them down the hall but you can’t help yourself when you lean down to pick them up. 

A bouquet of blue lilies. Your nose twitches at the sight of them, out of the corner of your eye you see new Lysa and new Elaine approaching so you take the opportunity to slam the little glass vase into the stone floor. Glaring at them when you do before returning to your room. 

☆

Maybe it’s been three days since Din died. 

Maybe it’s been three months. 

You aren’t sure.

You aren’t sure when you made plans to kill Kodo either but suddenly you have them. A fool proof way to get him alone. 

And suddenly you’re dressed for the first time in, well, however long it’s been. In a baby blue nightie with a robe you march out into the hall. The guards watch in silence as you walk away, your bare feet scampering down the stairs until you find yourself watching the main entrance. Waiting for your loving husband to make his nightly trip to a pleasure house, a trip that is typically accompanied by guards. 

You grip the handle of the knife in your pocket as you wait until you finally hear footsteps approaching. 

“Kodo, honey?” You step out from behind the stone column, holding your robe closed as you bat your eyelashes at him. He stumbles around drunkenly until his eyes focus on you. 

You’ve only used your voice for screaming for so long you sound meek, exactly as you want to right now. 

“Wife?”

“I thought maybe you’d like to join me tonight…” You hold a hand out towards him, putting on a sickly sweet tone of innocence. His mouth twists into a grin. 

“I knew you’d come around eventually.”

He doesn’t question where you’re taking him, he simply follows.

What a joke. 

You pull him up the stairs, you know from hide and seek where to find an empty room so you guide him there in calculated silence until he trips a bit, laughing to himself as he stutters.

“I knew if I got rid of the Mandalorian you’d realize how much better I am than him.” The statement doesn’t sit right with you and he can see it on your face, even in his drunken state he can sense your confusion. 

You both stop, you’re above him on the stairs as you turn and stare into his eyes.

“You- you knew?”

He simply nods, that sickening smile of his is plastered on his face. His icy blue eyes shimmer with delight. 

“How long?”

“When Leo told me I remembered everything. That little altercation in the hall when your boy knocked me out came right back to me, from there it wasn’t hard to figure out.” Your eye twitches as he speaks.

He knew you loved him and he took him from you anyway.

Any hesitations you had are gone as you nod, pulling him onward until you reach the large vacant tower room. He’s so drunk you decide to just drop the voice, pointing at a spot on the floor. 

“Lay down.” You mumble, reaching into your pocket once more.

He eagerly does as he’s told, laying down on the cold stone, you take a deep breath, in one swift motion you grab your knife, holding it behind your back as you toss your robe aside. He gives you a toothy grin as you ever so slowly walk to him, standing above him before sitting, straddling his waist. 

You look him up and down, one last time. 

Your loving husband. 

One of his hands plays with the blue lace of your nightie as you collect yourself. You look up at the ceiling briefly. 

I’m sorry. 

Not for Kodo, but for Din. This is exactly what he didn’t want you to do. 

You aren’t a killer. And you aren’t hateful, but a person can only be pushed so far before something breaks. 

Be smart. 

You think of Din’s note one last time before you bring the blade out in front of you and slam the blade into Kodo’s chest. 

He makes a sickly wet sound, coughing as he stares at you in shock.

You remove the knife, the hot steel cauterizes his wounds, there isn’t so much as a drop of blood as your face twists with fury and you bring it down again into his stomach now. 

How dare he look surprised by any of this. 

After what he took from you? He deserves galaxies worse. 

So you remove the knife. 

And you stab him again.

And again,

and again,

and again,

and again,

and again.

Until there is no more shocked look on his face. You don’t have a snarky remark or a statement to commemorate your revenge, you’re all used up at this point, all you have is this, this stabbing motion. 

He didn’t even have a chance to fight back.

You crawl off of his body, sitting on the stones as you toss the knife to the side, waiting for a rush of euphoria. 

But it never comes. 

It doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would. 

Staring down at Kodo’s lifeless body. You let yourself crumble. Collapsing down onto the floor, gasping for air as you sob. 

This was never going to bring him back. 

You lay there on your hands and knees for quite some time, just wailing, because what else are you supposed to do right now? You realize far too late that this was never an act of malice, some demented and shattered part of you thought that this would somehow bring him back, that it would give you peace. 

They won’t execute you. 

You planned this exactly so they wouldn’t.

Kodo didn’t tell anyone about your relationship with Din in much detail, not enough for them to assume that you could be with child. Everyone will assume that it’s Kodo’s. They won’t kill you, they can’t. 

Not if they think you’re carrying Kodo’s child. Now that Kodo’s dead, there’s no one to tell the royal family that you never consummated your marriage, your child is the most well protected person on the planet. The future monarch. It’s almost funny, you haven’t permitted yourself to think about the stirring within you as a child until just now, in this moment of weakness. A child, your child. 

Who will most likely grow up without a mother because of the decisions you've made today.

You bite your fist, swallowing a scream as you sit back on your heels. 

Your child will never know how loved they were. Your little one will never get to sit beside their mother while their father teaches them to sew. You put your head in your hands as you wail, no longer caring who hears. Your fate is sealed, what does it matter? 

You don’t turn when you hear someone coming up the stairs. When they pull you into their arms you try uselessly to shove them away. Your vision is blurry and filled with tears as you stare up at the unfamiliar figure now holding you. They rub your back, drawing swirls and stars against your spine as they pull you closer. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” They mumble into your hair. You dry your eyes hastily on your sleeve, confused by the voice you’re hearing, it’s painfully familiar, on instinct you wrap your arms around their torso, pulling yourself into their lap as you both sit on the floor beside Kodo’s body. “You’re okay, I’m here.”

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You whisper against the stranger's shirt. You knew you weren’t hateful. You’re certain of it now because even though he took quite literally everything from you, you still feel bad when you look at Kodo. 

A large hand cups your face, pulling you back to their chest so you can’t see the corpse anymore. 

“I didn’t mean it- I- I didn’t mean to kill him. Well I did but I just-” You begin to ramble as a fresh flood of tears begin sliding down your cheeks. 

“Hey- hey it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. We gotta get you cleaned up, okay? I’ll take care of this, I’ll fix it.” Their arms tighten around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You finally find the courage to look at your companion and it takes a moment for you to even realize who you’re looking at. 

New Leo. 

Why would he help you? You treat him like shit. When you look at him he looks like he’s about to cry and for the first time since Din was taken from you drop the walls you’ve put up and you let yourself feel bad for him. You show an ounce of kindness to him because in all honesty he’s the first person to make you feel safe since the night Din was taken from you. 

A lighthouse while you sail through a storm.

So you hug him. 

You pull yourself closer to him and you offer him a comfort you haven’t known for days.

“I’m sorry… for all of it, but especially the flowers, I should have told you, I just- you wouldn’t let me and the guards wouldn’t let me in without your permission and you just wouldn’t look at me.” He begins to mumble his own apologies, sending a surge of confusion through you. 

You furrow your brows, pulling back once more giving him a perplexed look as you search his nearly black eyes for some kind of answer. 

And it clicks. 

All at once it snaps into place and you want to say his name, so desperately, but you’re terribly afraid of being wrong. 

And then he smiles. A soft smile that makes you feel okay and you don’t even care if you’re wrong and you don’t care if it doesn’t make sense you just have to ask.

“Din?”

☆

a/n : yeah so uhhhhh yeah uhhhh this is the first chapter i've ever written where im actually very fond of the writing and nervous about the plot stuff so im gonna go hide?? and just vanish for a while lol

//

I don't have a tag list anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates!!

#lincolndjarin #the mandalorian #best kept secret #bks #din djarin #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #mandalorian smut #din djarin smut #pedro pascal #din djarin/reader #din djarin/you

[tervaneula]

u said leoichi drabble prompt request. consider. one injured and the other protecting them and then the injured one has to calm them down bc 'they're okay, really, promise, rest now'

OKAY SO this fused with a ghost of an idea I've had for a while and it ended up being a bit more serious than the prompt called for and a lot longer than just a drabble. (It's ~1120 words.) CW: blood and injury

Also I made a silly header thing I don't know what to do with, so I'm putting it here since this fic doesn't come with art of its own :'3

“Yui, I’m okay–” 

The rabbit turns his head to look at him, furious. 

“I heard your shell crack, Leonardo, and I'm not an idiot! Now stay down and let me handle this!” 

He falls quiet for a moment before redirecting his glare towards their adversary and then adds a muted, “Please.” 

There's no compromising with Yuichi in this state, apparently, and Leonardo stays right where he got crushed between metal claws and the concrete, splayed on the ground next to those very same claws which had gotten swiftly cut from the wrist for their transgressions.

He does roll onto his side to get his body weight off his shell, and yeah, alright, one or more of the old cracks that never healed properly must have split open again. It's tough to breathe and his back feels… His kimono is sticking to his shell and his back feels wet now that he's paying attention, and that. That is not good. 

Just his luck to run into a massive mecha wreaking havoc on an otherwise lovely day, huh. He wasn't even supposed to be on patrol and thus is embarrassingly swordless. 

Good thing that his date and their resident samurai always carries his. 

The slider watches as Yuichi does quick work of the metal hunk's wiring behind its knees, his frighteningly sharp katana slicing through the cables like butter. The mech falls with a ground-shaking rumble, unable to rise again, arm flailing as it tries to catch the rabbit. It's no use, Yuichi is much smaller and faster – and as soon as he reaches the mech's head, it's already rolling. The construct immediately loses power and Yuichi wrenches the windowed hatch in its chest open. Turns out there's no pilot, just a program-operated dashboard, and he makes sure that none of the controls are functional after he's done with them. 

Leonardo thinks he could watch Yuichi trash villains all day long, he's practically mesmerised by the strength hidden in that soft frame despite his shell throbbing unpleasantly in tandem with his heartbeat. He sighs, lovestruck. 

As his final move, Yuichi thrusts his katana into the heart of the mecha and Leonardo sees a spray of ink-black oil splash all over Yuichi's face and the front of his kimono. It makes him laugh and he realises his mistake too late, his lungs struggling to draw breath again as he finally gets hit with the pain, his body trying to stop him from moving; from causing any more damage. Shit, shit, shit. 

He had hoped he wouldn’t need to bother any of his brothers today since he was supposed to spend the whole day with Yuichi but he knows to pick his battles, now. He opens the comm link embedded in his prosthetic, contacting someone who he knows will pick up. 

“Che~ello!” comes the cheerful answer in just a few seconds, and Leonardo can't help but smile. 

“Mikeyyy, hermano, I'm in a bit of a pickle,” he wheezes, feeling the shift in his little brother's energy as soon as he hears the strain in his voice. 

“Leo? Are you okay?” 

“Not really, no,” Leonardo grunts. “Got into a scuffle with some big haywire robot– don’t worry, that’s taken care of. I suspect Donnie will want to scrap it for parts. Um. My shell’s– my shell’s cracked though.” 

Leonardo can vividly imagine the colour draining from Michelangelo's face and it would be funny if he wasn't acutely aware of a broken shell coming with the very real possibility of his innards turning into outnards. 

“I'm calling Draxy. Stay put, I'll get Lee to pick you up.” 

“Right,” Leonardo sighs, the line going out just when Yuichi is finally done with the mech and rushing to his side, face haphazardly wiped from oil. His gaze is sharp as he kneels next to him, sweaty and out of breath, and Leonardo thinks he looks like a knight. Or maybe like a samurai of the old, in this case. 

“There’s my hero,” he coos before Yuichi can get a word out and the rabbit’s brow furrows. 

“Don’t start,” he snaps but his tone softens almost immediately, “I saw you calling someone. It’s bad, isn’t it? It… it looks really bad.” 

“Yeeeah, this kimono is definitely ruined,” Leonardo laments, “unless you know how to, gh, get blood out of corduroy? No? Or the obi?” 

Yuichi stares. 

“A– a shame, really, I did like this one a lot–” 

“Leonardo!” Yuichi interrupts him and grabs his bicep, looking two seconds away from crying. Leonardo frowns. He knows he’s getting a little delirious but he was sincerely trying his best to lift his mate’s mood. 

“Leon, please, you’re rambling. Is someone coming? Can I do anything?” 

“‘m not rambling,” Leonardo grumbles, hissing when he fills his lungs again. “Leo’s coming to get us, Draxy– Draxum will treat the shell. And no, better keep the obi in place until we get to the medbay.” 

Yuichi’s shoulders slump and he sighs, most likely relieved that he’s not going to have to figure out how to deal with a cracked shell. Leonardo does not like the lingering worry in Yuichi’s gaze one bit, though, and he offers him a grin. It’s a little shaky but whatever. 

“Heeey, bunbun. Listen. This is nothing I haven’t been through before. I’ll be fine.” 

Yuichi gives him an honest-to-God kicked-puppy look and Leonardo thinks it’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen in his life. He almost tells him so but Yuichi cups his cheek and his forced grin melts away into surprised silence. 

“I hate seeing you hurt,” Yuichi murmurs, leaning down to press his forehead against Leonardo’s. The slider’s eyes flutter shut and he lifts his hand to hold onto Yuichi’s wrist. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I mean it. I should’ve been more careful.” 

Yuichi huffs and leans away to gently bump their foreheads together. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Maybe, but ’m still sorry. Didn’t want to worry you.” 

“You’re an idiot,” Yuichi says, exasperated. “You should know that at this point, I’ll always worry.” 

Leonardo grins and this time it’s genuine. Breathing in his partner’s scent is like a balm to him, even if it’s tinged with the bitterness of motor oil, even if his body currently thinks that breathing is overrated. Even if he just got called an idiot by none other than said partner. 

“Raincheck on the date?” he mumbles, and finally he gets a chuckle out of the rabbit. Yuichi straightens his back and flicks him on the nose. 

“Like you even needed to ask. Idiot.” 

Before Leonardo can express his displeasure of being called an idiot for a second time there’s the familiar electric hum of a portal opening behind him, and someone whistles. 

“Sheesh, old man. That kimono is definitely ruined.” 

#NOT PROOFREAD I had to stop myself because every time I tried to check this over I kept writing MORE and that's just not sustainable #sdfghhsfghjafsfd #anyway these peepaws gay #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt fanfiction #leoichi #peepaw leo #peepaw yuichi #other characters mentioned + a cameo from #rise leo #future leonardo #future leo #samurai rabbit #usagi chronicles #yuichi usagi #usagi yuichi #tervdraws #tervdrabbles

[sehodreams]

https://x.com/archivetic/status/1758340676193046872?s=46

Anton's milf neighbour asked him to coach her and this is what it lead up to

Link (nsfw)

This was so good, my mind can't deal with all the scenarios, I quickly did this one but I imagined so many things I couldn't do something shorter.

TW and tags: dubcon at the start, humping, cheating, married!reader x younger!neighbor!Anton. WC: 1.9k

Anton had seen you walking around the neighborhood before, you were a young wife that had just moved with his older husband not many months ago, a pretty little thing that stayed alone in her big house obediently waiting for her husband to come back home and that always made his mother laugh.

You had started to warm up with the other mothers not long after you settled in, and you didn't have a child, but you had said how much you expected one, reason why you moved to his neighborhood, a calm part of the city with good schools around that looked out of a movie, the perfect place to start a family, so all of them welcomed you with open arms to the group.

His mother was one of the many wives that decided to dedicate to her family, and now that he was a lot older, had enough free time to befriend the neighbors and go out to enjoy her afternoons with the company of women like her, a group that happily included you.

"She said she's trying to get in shape before her anniversary, maybe you could help her and earn some pocket money this summer" she told him while they were having dinner. Anton was there only for the summer break and he didn't need to work, he never did it, but some extra cash sounded good, and when his dad nodded to what his mother said, it was decided, he'd go and coach the new cute neighbor.

When he knocked on your door you instantly melted his heart with your voice saying Just a second please, and when he saw your pretty smile saying his name, he knew he was fucked, "Anton, I've heard so much about you from your mother, thank you for helping me, I have no idea how to start".

You really had no idea how to start, a pretty little thing like you had never stepped into a gym or done any physical activity that didn't involve lifting your plants in your garden or pushing your furniture to rearrange the aesthetic of your living room.

He can guess why your husband snatched you so fast, if he had been in his place, he'd have done it too, the only thing your traditional family had taught you was how to be a good girl, and he was sure a man like the one you were with had smelled how fresh you were before he trapped you into marrying him.

You were older than him, five years at most, and you were almost three years married already, which meant you were barely older than him before you said yes to the housewife lifestyle.

You dropped out of college, you lived far from your family, and you didn't have friends your age. He was the closest thing you had to the taste of youth, and you received him so easily and with such honest intentions that, little by little, he had started to feel bad for taking advantage of you while training.

"Uhm do you really have to massage that place?" You asked when he made you lie over your stomach one day and his hands pressed its way from your calf to your ass, groping it with the excuse of not risking an injury before your session.

"Yes, we can't let you get hurt, we need to make sure your muscles here are relaxed enough before we continue" he said, making you nod. You weren't the expert, he was, he had trained for so many years, how could you even question his methods?

He had convinced you that everything he did was for your benefit, and if his hand pressed spots like under your chest, the inside of your thighs, or even your ass, it was only to check on your health.

You were uncomfortable with his touch, but you couldn't deny it, it also made your insides tingle, and you felt an excitement you had missed for a long time.

When you were young you would have that exact feeling when your friends told you to sneak out for a party since your dad never let you go out late, or when you knew your curfew was getting closer but you had already lied saying how you were studying at your friend's house when all you were doing was watch movies or talk about boys.

It's not that you don't like the married lifestyle, you love it, you don't have to think about what to do for work or how to pay your bills, you don't have to worry about your dad yelling at you for getting low grades and you can simply enjoy your day if you cleaned and had your husband's dinner ready before he arrived.

However, you couldn't say you were completely satisfied either.

Your husband was handsome and nice, but sometimes he couldn't make you feel as good as when you started accepting him into your bed, it seemed that after the honeymoon phase he was more interested in his big cases than helping you cum at night, and you were getting a bit bored of the exact same routine every day, waking up, cooking, dusting your living room, checking that your plants were okay and then waiting for him to arrive and repeat.

If it wasn't for the older ladies, you would have started crocheting to see if that kept you busy enough.

Still, even if Anton's touch made you feel good, you knew it was wrong to feel like that with another man's hands. You were a good girl, a good wife, and having your panties dripping after your cute younger neighbor came to help you train one hour a day was something that made you feel ashamed of yourself.

The worst part was that you couldn't hide it. Your cheeks would get red every time his mother said hi to you in the supermarket or when all the neighborhood wives met to have a cup of tea.

"I hope my son is treating you well" she would say, and you would only nod with a smile, hiding your face with your cup or grabbing one of the numerous mini snacks to change the subject into how kind the host that day was.

You were sure no one would blame you if they were in your situation. The sensation of the touch from a man like Anton, so big ang strong, would make anyone weak. His hands on your hips and his cock on your ass when he made you do sit ups, or his fingers sinking into the side of your chest to make sure your position didn't break while you lifted those dumbbells would push any other woman like you into doing even more, so you tried to just brush off those thoughts, because, after all, you never crossed any line.

Or at least you never did it until that day.

Anton had made you lie over your back this time, and your eyes tried to not look at the pretty boy over you, focusing on your white ceiling instead.

"Tell me if it hurts, okay? We need to check your flexibility before we try the next exercise" he said while lifting one of your legs and, with his crotch against your clothed sex, putting it over his shoulder.

Your heart started to pound and a choked whimper left your throat when you felt the first push.

Anton was pushing your leg as much as he could with the help of his weight over you, and he wasn't hard, but you could still feel his member and its form opening your lips and resting between them as if it belonged there.

You tried to ignore the way his hand had a firm grip over the back of your thigh and the exhale he gave when he pushed his cock against you once again, getting slightly harder with each thrust.

That wasn't just warming up at all, you weren't that dumb to not notice the way his hips were clashing harder and harder against you, the sounds that left his mouth were too obscene to be a mere exercise, and if anyone could see you two like that, they would instantly notice that something else was starting to happen to the boy.

You moved your eyes from the ceiling to his face, and you could see how his eyes were fluttering and he tried to control his breathing without success. The saliva accumulating inside his mouth made him gulp with every push and his eyes started to get more shiny with every second that passed.

He had a full erection at some point, and you should've stopped him, you told yourself to push him out of your way and warn him to never come back if he didn't want to hear from your husband, but just that little action of his hips against yours made you dizzy, a similar sensation to when husband first touched you, and you needed an orgasm so much that your body, instead of listening to your mind and do what was correct, opened your legs to complete receive him.

He didn't waste any second and started to rut against you, and the two of you were dressed, so you tried to convince yourself that it wasn't incorrect if it wasn't sex.

If you didn't take anything off, if you didn't let him sink his cock inside you, it wasn't cheating. You were just helping a young boy to find some relief, and that was almost like an exercise too, you two were fully clothed and you were dripping over each other, but it was like sweat, so that should be considered more as stretching than anything else, right?

You couldn't hold your voice back, Anton was pounding so deliciously over you that your insides started to clench, and you started to wonder, if he felt that good without directly touching you, how would he would make you feel if he just fucked you.

He was a lot bigger than your husband, his tip was leaving a big wet spot over his joggers and your yoga pants were getting dirty with your own slick, showing him exactly where he should thrust with his cock.

"This is just exercise, you need to train your core too" he said, and you, even if you knew it was all pure bullshit, nodded.

"You're right, Anton, I need it" you cried when you felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm.

Clenching over nothing, with hips jolting to meet his, you felt yourself cumming hard inside your pants, and he, doing it at the same time, left a loud moan while his hands pressed hard at your thighs.

He tried to control how much he was panting, his forehead was wet and his cock was twitching inside his clothes, a mess he would have to hide until he ran to his house at the end of the street and that made him wish he could let everything out inside your warm walls the next time.

He could already imagine how pretty you would look opening your legs and showing him your naked cunt so he could give you what your husband couldn't, because if you were so needy, Anton was sure it was his fault that you accepted someone else's touch.

Before he gave you a last thrust, out of greed because he didn't have anything else to pour, he talked, "we should repeat it, stretching is really important, so, tomorrow same time?"

#riize smut #anton smut #anton x reader #riize x reader #riize hard thoughts #riize hard hours

[lino-nyangi]

100% fueled by this please read it first for more context. @fluffylino you will be the death of me. /j

wc: 1k

warnings: nsfw MDNI, inexperienced!reader, dirty talk, fingering. not proofread!

"you like my hands?" you blink, snapping out of your thoughts to realize you've been -quite shamelessly- boring holes into your boyfriend's occupied hands while he cooked.

"i— sorry!" you quickly blurt, looking down as your heart hammers in your chest and your cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"i'm not scolding you though?" minho tilts his head at you, "just saying, since you keep staring at them." he mumbles, cutting up some veggies.

"i'm just fascinated by your cutting is all. the knife, the way it's going smoothly is— sharp, it's nice and sharp, that's the word." you find yourself rambling in a pathetic attempt to come up with an excuse.

minho doesn't think it's pathetic at all though, he thinks it's so fucking cute. so he chuckles, "you don't have to justify anything baby, stare all you want." he glances up at you, "and maybe share the thoughts in your little head with me, i would love to hear them."

you gulp, watching him neatly working through all the ingredients, dicing them up perfectly. his arms flex every time he lowers the knife on the cutting board, the prominent veins on them only making them hotter. and his hands. god, his hands.

this is stupid, you think. why are veins attractive anyway? why do his fingers look so erotic while delicately handling a fucking vegetable? why is the force he's pushing down on the knife with to crush the garlic making you squeeze your thighs together?

you inhale.

"i've never fingered myself before."

minho's head shoots up to look at you for a second, his answer surprisingly ready. "want me to do it for you?"

you panic, instantly regretting letting that sentence escape your mouth. "n-no wait! i'm not saying that as– i didn't mean–"

"hey, hey, it's alright. you did nothing wrong." minho assures, "i said it because i wanted to, and i'm serious about my question." he puts the knife down and waits for your answer.

"i mean—" you look away, too nervous from having all of his attention on you. "minho, you still have to finish cutting the garlic–"

"once i'm done cutting the garlic, do you want me to do it for you?" he asks again.

"there's still a lot of cooking left to do aside from that. later– maybe we can..." you trail, too shy to say yes loud and clear.

"then i'm fingering you once i'm done cooking." minho bluntly concludes, resuming what he was doing and you feel your arousal pool between your legs at how dirty and straight forward he got.

his words only get filthier though, mumbling to himself as he stirs the pot.

"i'll make you cum on my fingers. can't believe i'll be the first to do that. guess i'm the lucky one huh."

"tight little cunt, hm?" he shoots you a quick glance, "i'll make sure to stretch it good."

minho insists you eat first, despite how horny and eager he was sounding just now, he wanted you to be well fed and taken care of first. and throughout the meal, you can't seem to stop fidgeting, soaked panties sticking to your core as minho's words keep replaying in your head like a broken record.

"no wonder you're always staring at my fingers. can't stop thinking about them in you all the time?"

once it's time, he lays you down on your shared bed inside the tent, kissing you drunk that you don't register how he got your bottoms off already.

"are you sure you want this?" he makes sure one more time, hand lingering close to the band of your underwear. when you give him the green light, he slips them off in one swift motion.

linking your lips again he lets one hand sink between your legs, fingers rubbing through your folds. "all wet just thinking about me?" he breathes through the kiss and you moan.

when he pulls away, sitting back up, minho places a firm palm on your stomach just as his middle finger teases your entrance, before slowly pushing in. he looks up to read your face for any signs of discomfort and sees you biting your lip in attempt to keep yourself from making any sounds, and he immediately reassures you.

"don't be shy, make those pretty sounds for me."

"they'll hear." you glance at the tent wall on your side, hinting about the people staying next door.

"they won't. there are crickets in the forest and the waves are loud tonight. you're good, be louder for me." minho sweetly encourages, making you feel more at ease to let out moans and hitched whimpers of his name as he pushes his finger in and out of you, going deeper with each thrust.

"doing so well pretty, just like that." he praises, slipping another finger in.

"does it feel nice? having my fingers inside your little pussy? is that what you wanted baby?"

"my sweet little thing. can't believe you've never had anything up your pretty cunt."

"so warm and tight. all for me."

"m-min, faster."

"faster?" he repeats, picking up the pace of his digits and you gasp. clearly you weren't ready for what you just asked for.

"this is faster, honey. want me to slow down?" minho softly asks, eyes studying your expression.

"no! please don't. close." you let out in huffs.

"go ahead, cum on my fingers." his thumb presses gently on your clit, rubbing tight circles to help you get there faster and soon your back is arching as your orgasm hits.

"that's right. there you go, good girl." he works you through your high, whispering sweet nothings until your body falls limp against his touch.

minho pulls his digits out of you before eagerly taking them in his mouth. "so fucking sweet." he mutters to himself and you feel your face heating up again as the fog in your brain starts to clear up. you pull on his arm to have him closer to you, mainly because you're too nervous and want to avoid his enchanting gaze. he obliges, hovering over you as you sling your arms around his waist.

"felt nice?" he whispers against your ear.

"yeah, thank you min." you sheepishly mutter.

"thank you for letting me, angel." minho kisses your forehead before pulling away to look at you.

"now tell me, can you handle something bigger or do i need to work you out some more?"

#absolute brainrot it's ridiculous #lee know smut #lee know hard hours #lee know hard thoughts #stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids smut

[catherinekal]

Giant Fucking List of Obscure Video Games I Recommend!

It's finally done!! Took me long enough, but here it is. Over 50 games I recommend. Just in time for the Steam Sale. Holy shit I spent way to much time on this.

Some of these are well known to anyone into the indie/AA gaming scene or just on the internet often, but I still felt the need to mention in case people haven't heard of them. All of these are obscure compared to any AAA game and I'm confident no one would have heard or played all of these.

They all have something I found interesting in someway. I was going to include a trailer for each game, but apparently Tumblr doesn't like that. So I have put a link to a Youtube playlist for all of them in the same order as this list. Some of these games are also on various consoles to, but I can confirm they're all on Steam beyond one.

I only picked games I've played personally. I know of many other good obscure games, but haven't tried or bought them yet so they don't get on the list. Also many games on this list remain unfished to me, but that's more due to time and other life shit then them getting bad.

There's a lot of fucking games In this list so hopefully you find something you've never tried before and give it a shot. All these games are on Steam with one exception, but that's a free game. I also organized them by genres that make perfect sense to me.

Trailers Link:

The Best Game Ever:

Outer Wilds

Fuck it let's just start with the only mandatory game on this list you need to play. You know how nearly every space game is a overpromised underdelivered fucking mess? Like all of them.

Outer Wilds is the actual good one. Don't want to say much more then that. This is very much an experience that you need to know as little as possible to get the best experience. Not even linking the trailer in the playlist.

Absolutely play this game if you had to pick only 1 thing on this list.

EarthBoundLikes:

OMORI

OMORI is a game about a group of kids who go on magical adventures and save the day. That's it. Nothing else sinister going on here.

It's a well known indie game and for good reason. It's fucking good. One of my favorite games of all time.

Art style is peak. A mix of pixel and pencil drawn art that works so damn well for me. The battle system is turn based and revolves around changing emotions and teamwork. It mixes a happy child like vibe with a darkness underneath it, which is right up my alley. A tale of trauma and grief. I'm still fucked up thinking about some story bits in there. 

All the characters are wonderful and the story is helped a lot by keeping it focused on a small group of friends.

Play it.

LISA: The Painful and LISA: The Joyful

LISA: The Painful/Joyful are a pair of games that fuck. They fuck hard.

They're morbid, tackle many taboos, and have a dark but also stupid sense of humor. The visuals are nothing groundbreaking, but this isn't a game that needs perfect pristine pixel art. The combat system is a lot of fun, but takes very clear inspiration from Earthbound. The story is just perfect though.

You play Brad whos on a journey to rescue his adoptive daughter who was kidnapped in a post apocalyptic world of only men. You meet the strangest allies and the game has a lot of odd characters in it. Want a lawyer fish in your party? This game has it.

It does not shy away from throwing punches and is not for anyone who can't handle a story that tackles themes of abuse, depression, suicide, and more. The game also has a sequel I don't want to say to much about, but it's absolutely worth it as well.

If you want a fun and fucked up 2D RPG adventure and somehow haven't played this then please do so.

Mandatory Metroidvania Soulslike Indie Game Darlings:

Ender Lilies: Quietus of the Knights

Ender Lilies is the first of many metroidvania's on this list. The indie scene is filled with them and for good reason. The formula works so damn well.

What I love about Ender Lilies is the concept of the player character. You play a white priestess who is also a child and helpless on her own. However, you can summon the spirits of allies and slain enemies to fight for you and those spirits are all your attacks. Gameplay is the same as any other Metroidvania, but knowing I'm this helpless child in this world infected by blight really sells me on the setting.

There's nothing revolutionary to this entry in the pantheon of Metroidvanias, but the visuals and setting are why I recommend it. This game is a slow descent into hell. Also you do get a big heavy hammer attack and any game with a big hammer weapon attack is a good game. Big bonks.

Craving a Metroidvania with a macabre setting? This will do it.

GRIME

GRIME is something else. I don't hear anyone talk about this game and it's a damn shame. I don't even know how to even describe GRIMEs setting. You play as essentially a sentient black hole on a rock body. You go through, with lore slowly revealed as is the Metroidvania stable, and absorb your enemies.

This games aesthetic is best described as fleshy stone. It's very unique visually and what made me want to try it out. As for gameplay you'll need to learn parrying as this games combat system heavily relies on it.

This game surprised me and has a entire level I never expected with one very unique boss to top that off. Also be warned. This game is very much a platformer as well. Similar to how the Ori games are, not just pure combat challenges. If you like your metroidvanias with little to no platforming then you won't enjoy parts of this game, but nothing as difficult as things in Hollow Knight.

If you enjoy metroidvanias then this is a must play. More people need to talk about it.

Salt and Sanctuary

This is where it all started. Certainly not the first Metroidvania by any means, but the first 2D Soulslike Metroidvania or at the least first advertised as such. The devs intended to make Dark Souls in 2D and they did it. Before Hollow Knight, the games listed above, or so many others that took inspirations from Souls in the 2D world, was this game. I know this game was popular with the souls community as it came out, but I don't really hear about it anymore. Hollow Knight just dominated all discussion.

The controls and combat are very much Dark Souls but in 2D. The lore is cryptic and hidden away. There's a fuckton of weapons and spells and multiple playthroughs worth of stuff. The game is hard though Hollow Knight would easily one up it in terms of difficulty.

This game also has covenants that are actually good and the mechanics around them are vastly improved over any souls game that has covenants. I won't go into detail, but I wish the souls games copied this games mechanics for that.

The setting is high fantasy with the lovely dark bloody horror underneath it all. The art style can turn people away, it's not as pretty as other 2D souslikes, but I enjoy it personally. It fits.

The game has a lot to explore and you can get lost in its world pretty easily. I remember walking into a boss room from the exit somehow and got behind the boss and it was all intended if you navigated around him.

If you can appreciate or just get past the visuals and want to see where the 2D soulslike genre began then you should play it.

Metroidvania's Before the Dark Age of Soulslikes

Dust: An Elysian Tail

Long ago there was a time where Metroidvanais didn't have soulslike mechanics defaulted in and set in these bleak post apocalyptic worlds. I have 3 of them to recommend. Starting With Dust: An Elysian Tail

This is a fun little game. A game that I'm not sure many people know about or would think to play today. Metroidvanias pre Hollow Knight tend to get forgotten when I see people about them now. It has a mix of platforming and hectic combat. I remember the game having a cool spin sword attack with a even cooler aerial attack. I liked it a lot when I played it many many years ago.

The art style is colorful and everyone is an anthropomorphic animal. More games need anthropomorphic animals beyond catgirl or rabbitgirl, seriously I grew up on shit like sly Cooper and Ratchet and Clank.

You play as Dust and are accompanied by Fidget. you got a magic sword and you kill a bunch of shit while saving the day. Just a fun little Metroidvania that doesn't overstay and go on forever.

It may be dated in some ways, but if you're a fan of these types of games and want to play a older one then here you go.

Guacamelee!

The combat in this game feel great. Another little forgotten gem of a Metroidvania. It has such a unique style to it and has a fun cartoony vibe. It's pretty fucking great.

You play as a farmer who dons a luchador mask to save his friend he loves and the world being taken over. The combat is a mix of punches, kicks, and throws which is unique from the usual swords and magic these types of games tend to default to. As the game goes along enemies will have shields that need certain moves to break and you'll be switching from the land of the dead and living in combat and platforming.

Both this and Dust before it don't reinvent the genre or anything, but have their own unique charms that I recommend them both if you're a fan of Metroidvanias.

Cave Story+

This is a old classic. The original Cave Story came out in 2004, and was released with a enhanced version in 2011. This is a must play Metroidvania and an old gem. It's the oldest game on this list technically.

This game has little to no melee combat, but instead goes all in on using guns. More Metroid then Vania in that sense. What's unique to the combat is enemies will drop experience that will level up your guns automatically. Each gun can be upgraded to 3 levels, but when you take damage you lose experiences and levels. This adds a extra layer or rewards and punishment to getting hit that I like. Your weapons are perfectly usable at level 1 so it's not like you're fucked, but it gives a greater incentive to avoid damage.

It has fun characters and and fun gameplay. It's a genuine indie gem that I think everyone should play.

Pixel Action Adventure Games With A Dash of RPG Elements to Taste:

ANNO: Mutationem

This game is a pixel art cyberpunk adventure. I adore the art style. It's a 2.5D action platformer set in a futuristic setting. You're on a quest to save your brother with the help of your hacker friend/girlfriend. A quest which leads to a far more complicated story.

The story in this game goes off the rails in ways I love, but I know it threw people off. People have compared the latter half to Evangelion and It can be confusing to follow at times. I still highly recommend it, even if you get lost near the end. A simpler story in terms of Lore would have worked better, but I say fuck it. Go all in.

To me the appeal of this game is the setting. A fascinating cyberpunk sci-fi setting shown through wonderful pixel art. Just walking around the various cities was a joy on its own. There's a lot of attention to detail and I think it's worth playing for that alone. Combat is your standard side-scrolling Metroidvaniaish kind of stuff with various weapons and upgrades and all that. I found it a little challenging at times, but this isn't a game meant for extreme difficulty from what I remember.

If you want to play as hot badass woman in a cyberpunk setting given life through detailed pixel art, then this is the game for you.

CrossCode

This is the most dense indie game on this whole list. CrossCode has so much to do. The game is expansive and slowly drip feeds you with more. You have 5 skill trees, 4 of which are tied to an element, multiple upgrade paths in them. You have a mix of melee combat with twin stick shooter mechanics thrown in. The game has multiple dungeons with puzzles that are both difficult to figure out and then execute the solution for. These aren't like a 2D Zelda dungeon where things never get to complicated, I really took a lot of time with every dungeon.

The setting takes place on another moon physically, but its actually all virtual and a MMO people are playing from all over the galaxy. Though the game itself isn't a MMO really. You play as a set character in a set linear story that's unrelated to that actual in lore story of the MMO. 

The characters are fun and the setting is a joy to explore. There's a lot of side content and I don't remember any of it being a drag. This games also challenging and I know It took me a bit to progress at various points. The pixel art is very detailed, especially with the outdoor environments.

This game will keep you engaged for a while and there's challenging DLC and even fun incentives to play new game plus. This is just all around a solid game experience.

Hyper Light Drifter

I played this game a long time ago so details are hazy, but I know I really enjoyed it. It's top down and filled with action. You got a sword. You got a gun. You go kill things and I do remember many challenging combat encounters.

I have forgotten all story elements, but even now I still remember some imagery that reminded me of Evangelion, which is always a plus. Though story was never the main draw to games for me so the setting and combat were all I needed to keep engaged.

Not the most descriptive review of the game, but I know this is one of the furthest game on this list from when I played it and I only went through it once. It's a cool game though and if the trailer enticed you then you owe it to yourself to get it. 

Phoenotopia: Awakening

I adore this little hidden gem of a game. If CrossCode is the most dense indie game on this list then this is a very close second. Possibly even more dense, I truly can't decide for sure. It's cute, funny, charming, and full of legitimate challenges.

You play as Gail who lives in a small town village. Some shit happens that I won't give away, but you end needing to travel the land and go on a fun adventure. The story is full of comedic and lively characters. It never takes itself to seriously or gets really dark which Is a nice change of pace.

This game really is an adventure. You will travel a lot and get very familiar with any hub area. There's secrets and puzzles packed all over and gives you good reason to revisit. A nice drip feed of progress is felt as you unlock more stuff.

In terms of combat it's bar far the most simplistic on this list and could even frustrate others, but like everything else in this game it has charm and I adore it. The simple mechanics don't mean no challenge though. I was stuck often, but felt so satisfying when I won.

Some of the late game areas can be bullshit and will frustrate you, but stick with it. This is a genuine top tier hidden indie gem that got no attention. Honestly just under Outer Wilds this would be the other must buy. Absolutely play this.

Vampire Survivorlikes:

20 Minutes Till Dawn

Everyone knows about Vampire Survivor and everyone knows many games came out that tried to capture that style of gameplay. This one is the only one of those I've played and it's wonderful.

You unlock multiple characters and multiple guns with various upgrade trees. Kill the horde, survive, upgrade, survive even longer. Each level only takes 20 minutes, hence the title. I appreciate that as the game would never end with how strong you end up being by the end after you learn the mechanics.

This isn't anything groundbreaking, but if you need to kill half a hour then it's a fun thing to play.

Hawklikes:

Umurangi Generation

Let's fucking go!! This game rules!

As someone who is going to pursue photography more seriously as a hobby this game is perfect. Unlike something like Pokemon Snap or games with photo modes, this game really captures the feeling of holding a physical camera and the moment to moment decisions you make with each shot.

You unlock different lenses and control each shot as you would a real camera. After each photo you can edit it on the spot purely for your own creative reasons. The visuals are low poly and very colorful.

The game has a tony hawk style of progression. A hawklike if you will. You get dropped in a level and are given a list of photos to try and take. You can of course take photos of anything. You have a limited amount of film and can find more throughout the level.

Also there's a story. There's a dark undercurrent to the whole thing and the game is very overtly political in all the right ways. Don't like politics in your games? Fuck you! This game dives right in while still maintaining the core gameplay loop. Need more games like this please.

Please buy this game and it's DLC.

Action Games:

Furi

Top tier action game. It's a boss rush game, that's it. 10 bosses with some vague story that briefly connects them. It's not bloated with bullshit and knows exactly what to focus on.

The combat is a mix of intense melee combat with parries and dodges and the like, with twin stick shooting. No upgrades. No farming. No choosing between this weapon or that. No additional moves or mechanics. You fight a tutorial boss which teaches you everything and then you go. You have the full toolkit from the start and that lets you master it slowly over the game.

It's so fucking satisfying finally winning and knowing you improved and earned that win. I like the story as well. It's not that complex, but the ending bits worked for me.

If you want a genuine good action game that has no bullshit attached then get this.

Amid Evil

There's not much to say about this one other then it's really fucking fun. It's a first person action game where you use magic and weapons to go through combat filled levels. You have health and mana that all weapons use outside of your axe. The levels are filled with secrets, you move fast, and it's just a fun action game.

Sometimes a game isn't more then that and it beats games that are stuffed with unnecessary mechanical bloat. If you want a fun first person action game that's not just a full shooter then this is the game for you.

Adventure Games:

The Cat Lady and Lorelai

I love these games. No one ever talks about them or knows about them and they will certainly linger in your mind. The devs have made 2 other games that I have yet to get to so for now I am recommending only these.

Play The Cat Lady first. It's the first one and tells the story of a very depressed middle aged woman who gets a second chance at life, at a cost.

Lorelai is about a young woman in a very abusive household trying to survive while seeing what lengths she will go to save those she loves.

Both these games revolve around deals with a devil and feature a lot of horrific violence. Fun!

The stories in both evoke a creepy disturbing feeling and you're always on edge. I won't say these are straight horror games, but they sure use horror imagery. The art style really helps sells it. The animations or character models may not be the most beautiful thing around, but it has that indie charm I love. The voice acting isn't perfect either, but these aren't negatives for me. These are passion projects and imperfections are what make any piece of art shine brighter. Real people put their soul into these games and it shows.

The gameplay is standard adventure game fair, but all keyboard controlled. So no endless mouse clicking everything on the screen. which works wonderfully. Though being pure adventure games you're here more for the story then the moment to moment gameplay.

Please play these.

Detention

Detention is probably well known due to the controversy with Red Candle Games other game, Devotion being wiped online for shitty reasons. It's available now on their own websites store, though I still have never played it. I should one day as Detention was pretty fucking good.

The gameplay is the usual 2D adventure game fair. A lot of clicking and puzzle solving with some horror thrown in. The story and setting are where it's at though.

The game is unique in that it's made from Taiwanese devs and the games setting is rooted in their cultures history. I don't want to give away any real details beyond that, but it certainly left an impact and seeing a game not set in Europe, America, Japan, or any fantasy equivalent to those was refreshing. The games also not super long and could easily be beaten in a day.

Go buy it. Play it on a long free night. Support these devs.

Rime

I love the aesthetic of this game. Cel shading indie colorful goodness. I got this for the visuals alone and was very happy the game that came with it was good to. Visuals are a major factor in me getting interested in a game and the reveal trailer was enough for me to play it.

It's very light and cryptic on story for most of it as to be expected from this kind of game. You're a kid, you wake up on a beach and go forth exploring. You solve puzzles and hide from danger and go through each of the unique levels trying to piece together whats going on.

Like the game before, this isn't a super long one. Shouldn't take more then a day or a few to get through it all. Though I do recommend you take your time and explore like I did. Let yourself be immersed in the setting.

This is another example of just a pure perfect indie game. Doesn't overstay it's welcome, tells a simple but cryptic story, and has lovely visuals.

Atominous

This is the one of the few games on this whole list that I would say is truly obscure. In fact I have no doubt this is the most obscure. If you're big into indie games then nothing on this list will honestly surprise you, but I'm confident this is the exception.

In this free game you place as a a little guy who's job is like pest control. Instead of bugs your job is to collect and protect the world from rare atoms called Atominous. Basically little atoms that can alter reality. You go into a big house and your job is to find them through the power of puzzle solving and clicking every little thing you see.

This game is all about clicking everything. Nearly every object has unique text that pops up, if not multiple. You find keys to open more of the house and slowly suck up the atominous atoms and clean up the place.

That's it. It's a fun quirky little free game that shouldn't take more then a couple hours. No excuse not to try it, it's free. It's also the only game not on steam, but instead here

Adventure Games Where You Hit Things:

TUNIC

TUNIC is a lovely indie game. You play as a little cute fox and go on a adventure to save your poor trapped mom. such a cute game :3

I adore the visuals, I love low poly stuff and the game is full of charm. Looking at this game makes me happy. The game is like a mix of a top down Zelda and Fez and it being reminiscent of FEZ was what really took me by surprise. I won't go further in how it's like FEZ, but it really elevated the game for me.

It's a fun top down game with simple fun combat. You kill enemies, find key items, unlock more of the world, and get fed cryptic lore. The perfect formula for a fun little indie game. The game is decently challenging to with it's boss fights, and overall a nice fun little experience with some neat surprises.

TUNIC is wonderful, go play it.

Kena: Bridge of Sprits

This is the most PS2 game I've played since the PS2. I mean that as a compliment. This game felt like going back in time to a simpler time.

Visually the game is not at all like the PS2. The visuals are beautiful and has been compared to Pixar. It's bright, colorful, and well polished. To me this is peak aesthetics. This game is worth playing just to see all the work that went into the game's visuals alone.

It reminded me of a PS2 game because it's a self contained fun third person action adventure. Just a fun game with no bullshit holding it down or any other purpose then being a fun adventure. The world is a joy to explore with a nice steady progression. I especially love how the Hub is mostly corrupted and you slowly restore it over the course of the game. Shit like that always feels so good.

There's a lot of unexpected challenge to. Some of the later fights and especially bosses took me a bit to beat. Just like a PS2 game you'll get random difficulty spikes that are so fucking satisfying to beat.

I highly recommend this game.

Adventure Games Where You're in the Desert:

Sable

Sable is a coming of age story presented in a very fun interactive package. This is a game about heading out into the world and exploring on your own whim to figure out what your character becomes as an adult.

You play as Sable, a young adult girl who has to leave her tribe and head into the wider world to discover herself. The goal is to find mask which representative a life path and pick one by the end. The actual game is about heading into a desert open world, solving puzzles, helping NPC's, and discovering what bits of hidden lore hide throughout. You do this all on a hoverbike you can customize as you unlock more parts.

As always the art style is important to me and this game has something really unique. The characters animation is low framerate and it can be off putting to some, but of course I loved it as I love any odd creative choice. I love the lighting and colors to. It's hard to describe just why I was so mesmerised by the art style, but I can safely say it's one of my all time favorites.

The only negative goes to technical issues. The game ran like shit on my PC and my PC isn't bad. Even people with far better PC's then me ran into frame rate issues and others didn't have any. Sometimes games aren't optimized well, but this game was so magical to me that I loved it, despite the tech issues.

It's a very chill game. You want to explore a cool world at a slow pace and get lost in it? Sable's the game for you.

It Comes In Waves

This is a short game where you have to start over if you die. A penalty I feared, but truthfully this isn't that difficult of an experience. You start on one end of a desert and have to carry something to the other end as it grows inside a tank on your back.

As you wait for whatever your transporting to grow you will explore minimalist environments with some unique imagery that speaks of a wider history you just have to wonder about. The whole time you have to watch out for raiders and watch your water level. It always depletes and you will need to explore and refill it as you journey on. I also love how you have a map, but the map is like an actual map. It doesn't show you on it, but just the overall area.

This game will take you a hour at best and is unlike anything else on this list. There's something about just slowly walking across the desert, not knowing what's ahead, and hoping you can make it to the next water tank. Just a little experimental game about a harsh journey.

Platformers With 2 Entire Dimensions:

MO: Astray

Ever wanted to play as a little blob? No? Well you should because this game was a hidden gem. I was thrown off by this game at first and then pleasantly surprised by the whole experience.

This game feels like it should be a metroidvania. It's 2D and you're on a broken down ship or facility or something. Nope. This game is fully linear and at first I didn't think I'd like that and was disappointed, but it works so damn well.

You play a slime essentially and you have the magical power to read the last thoughts and minds of corpses by settling on their rotten fleshy head. With this power and other little story tidbits you learn what's going on, your purpose, and so on.

There's no combat in this game really. You move by shooting yourself in any direction you can see and you can stick to surfaces. There's danger. There's enemies. There's boss fights. All without the usual fair of attack/dodge roll, that's standard for 2D metroidvanias now. This game is something different and that alone makes it worth it.

Also a note on the boss fights. All of them felt very unique from each other I prefer having a few well crafted unique bosses then having a bunch of the same type of fight over and over again.

Another genuine hidden gem you should try.

Platformers With 3 Entire Dimensions:

Frogun

Frogun is adorable. It's like a N64 game and I love it.

You have a frog grappling hook and go through little short levels that ramp up in difficulty. There's optional challenges in each one. The art style is absolutely going for that early 3D low poly vibe that is starting to become more popular.

This is a perfect example of just a fun video game for the sake of being a fun video game. No serious story or message or intense complicated gameplay mechanics. Just a cute 3D platformer reminiscent of a older time.

Also I played this back when I used to stream and a Frogun speedrunner showed up in chat and helped me pull off a couple speedrunning tricks so that was fun.

If you want something simple and fun then here it is.

Cyber Hook

The ultimate speedrunning game. You have a gun, a grappling hook, and the ability to slow down time. This is a pure platformer. You enter levels with the goal of getting through as fast as you can.

I never got great at it, but the few times I really got going fast and flew through a level felt awesome. It's so satisfying finally doing things right after many failures and you will fail a lot.

There's really not much more to it. Neat visuals with satisfying and simple mechanics. If that sounds fun to you then check it out.

Marble It Up! Ultra

Platformers really are just the perfect mechanic to make fun mindless games with. Marble It Up! Ultra is another simple 3D platformer that's just purely focused on being fun.

As always it's not that complicated either. You're a marble and you try to reach the end of each stage with a time limit. There's items to stop time, make you jump higher, and go faster. Just all about building up speed and there's tons of ways to skip past parts of levels. Like the two games before, this one is perfect for speedrunning.

It's fun, go buy it.

RPG's:

Roadwarden

I was going to make a big post about why I preferred this to BG3, but scrapped it. BG3 is fun, but the story just bores me from the get go. Where BG3 failed for me Roadwarden succeeded. All story and all fantastic.

This is a text based RPG. Very simplistic visuals which show just enough to let your imagination handle most of the work.

You play a roadwarden who has the lovely job to travel the dangerous roads and help the townsfolk all while working on your greater goals. You pick between 3 starting classes and those do change how you approach things quite a bit. You have a time limit and that will force you to prioritize things over others. You can't do everything in a single playthrough. Your decisions matter and you aren't going to figure everything out.

You have to manage your health, money, hunger, and cleanliness. You will never have enough money for everything and that helps create more interesting choices. You have to manage what you do in a day. You meet a lot of people and forge allies or enemies and it's all told with stellar writing.

If you want a well written fantasy interactive story then you must play this game.

RPG's With Intense High-Octane Turn Based Combat:

Epic Battle Fantasy 5

A long time ago in times forgotten there existed these ancient relics called Flash games. Maybe one day I'll talk about old flash games I was into, but for now I'm only talking about the latest instalment in one of them. Epic Battle Fantasy is a series of games made by Matt Roszak. They started as little flash games, but have since turned into bigger games that are on Steam. 5 is the latest one and also the best so I'm recommending this one.

I've gone through this game multiple times. This game fucking rules. The game is easy to control, satisfying, and has my favorite turn based combat system period. No seriously, this is my favorite turn based combat system. I could go on what I like about it so much, but I'll spare you all most of the details. I'll say it gets rid of mana entirely and put all your abilities on cooldowns which changes based on what you're using. This just fixes balancing and helps you from spamming heals and all that. I love this system. It's easy to control, intuitive to understand, full of options, and can have a chaotic randomness I enjoy.

In this game you explore the overworld, solve puzzles, and fight enemies. The story is not at all serious or anything like that. It may not be a Flash game anymore, but it still has the older internet spirit of not taking things to seriously and being a little juvenile. There's also a lot of post game challenges that still are impossible for me to really do well or at all.

You can change the difficulty anytime and another thing I love is the entire game can be controlled with just a mouse. You can use a keyboard to, but a mouse covers everything which I think is neat.

This is such a wonderful combat system and the game I've beaten most on this list. If you want legitimately challenging turn based RPG combat and don't care about story or characters to get that then this game is a must play.

Shadows Over Loathing

Want a lovecraftian mystery RPG injected with a dose of comedy where everybody is a stick figure? Yes? How very specific, but luckily there's a game just for you.

Shadows Over Loathing is a turn based RPG where you search for your missing uncle in a area full of strange locations and characters. I never did play their other game West of Loathing, and I was pleasantly surprised by this one. It was a lot of fun, creative, difficult at times, and had a world I really wanted to explore.

It has a lighthearted comedic tone throughout and the silly art and stick figure characters help with that. The actual turn based combat is fun to. Nothing to complicated but could be challenging to which is needed to help this style of combat really shine.

There's really not much more to it. If this sounds like something you'd enjoy then please check it out.

RPG's Fused With A Light Novel:

Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of DANA

AA games still exist! I finally get to talk about Ys. I've played 3 Ys games and I'm going to talk about my favorite one because of the fun gameplay. This is a very unknown franchise that has existed since the 80's and even now the 10th instalment is set to release later this year.

As for why I'm recommending Ys 8, it's because it has some of the most fun gameplay. The combat is fast paced, encourages good timing, and full of that anime over the top stylish action. You control up to 3 characters and can easily switch between them. Each character plays differently and has their own special moves and everything just feels so satisfying.

You play as generic light novel anime man, Adol. Tagging along is generic tsundere light novel anime girl and other light novel anime characters. Like edgy boy with a gun, loli raised in the wild, and blue haired girl. You crash land on a island and have to survive and find survivors. Much like LOST the story goes off the rails and of course in classic JRPG fashion you need to stop the end of the world somehow. Unlike LOST characters are generic and the usual anime fair.

Despite the lackluster story this game still fucking rules because it's so goddamn fun to play. It also solved crafting forever by making it so you can convert common items into rarer ones making anything you find useful potentially. Seriously it's such a nice feature and all crafting systems without it are lesser.

If you want some fun action combat and don't mind anime bullshit then really, check out the entire franchise. Any of them will do, but this is the one I'd recommend the most.

RPG's Fused With A Light Novel and A WW2 Textbook:

Valkyria Chronicles 1 and 4

Picture this. WW2, but with anime and magical girls. Japan just never stops with these incredible ideas.

I adore these 2 games. I haven't played 2 or 3 as those are PSP games and I don't hear great things. However I can confirm 1 and 4 are fucking fantastic.

These games are tactical RPG's where you command troops one by one in missions. Most are usually about capturing a enemy base, but there's a lot of variety beyond that in both of them. You lay out your troops at the start plus your commander who's in the tank. You get a set level of CP per turn and each CP is used to control a unit. The actual game is probably piss easy for experienced tactical game players, but I'm not that at all. I found it legitimately difficult, both games.

What sets it apart is the game turns into a sort of third person shooter when controlling the units. You can freely move up to your AP and get one action to do. If it was just top down the whole time I'd find that not that interesting, but actually moving around and taking cover unit by unit is very engaging. There's 5 classes in the first game and a 6th added in the fourth game. Each class can be upgraded as well along with weapons, equipment, and the tanks.

The stories in both are nothing special truthfully. It's anime WW2 with silly dumb anime characters. I don't mind that and had a lot of fun, but if you can't stand something like Persona then these games will infuriate you. To me stupid anime characters in games can be a lot of fun, like Raz in 4, the dumbest but somehow most entertaining character for me. Expect some silly anime cliches and tone changes and the usual fair for these kinds of games. Even if the story is a big nothing for you, I still think both games are worth it for the gameplay.

Another aspect that I really love is all your units have personality traits that can trigger as you control them. What caught me off guard was that they're both positive and negative ones. There's ones like a woman having man hater and fancies woman as traits, aka the lesbian. There's straight up a guy with misogynist as a trait. Some are lonely, frail, daredevils, have crushes or people they hate, even one with the masochist trait. All these good and bad traits translate into potential buffs or debuffs that can happen in the game.

Sadly these side characters don't get much story in the first game. Just a unique design with some personality traits and maybe a couple in battle lines of dialogue. However, the 4th one introduced squad stories. Essentially little side stories that revolve around the non important squad mates. They were always fun to do and the missions for them are more unique because they are designed around only using those 3 characters.

I recommend both of them, but if you had to play one I'm not sure. 1 has the better story, the overall lore itself establishes in 1, and the gameplay is still fun. 4 has the better gameplay, more unique missions, and the squad stories which were a highlight for me.

Just pick which one sounds more like your thing if you only want to spend the time with one of them. Both are fun.

RPG's About the Harsh Reality of Capitalism:

Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale

I adore this games concept. It takes the common NPC seen in these little RPG adventures, the shopkeeper, and puts you in their shoes. You're father has a big debt to pay off and you now have to sell items out of your house to help pay it off before the deadline.

You lay the items out and then have to haggle your way to a profit. Finding the line of when to haggle and how much is the key to success and I failed miserably. I never did beat this game, but I haven't beaten many games on this list and that won't stop me from telling you to play them. I think the concept alone is enough of a reason to check it out.

The game does have combat as well. You can hire an adventurer to go with you into a dungeon and fight enemies for treasure. I like how you hire someone from the Adventurers Guild, just another cool concept as a typical game would have you play as the character being hired instead all the time. I also like how dungeons are high risk high reward. If they die then you lose most of what you gather and essentially just wasted the day.

It's just a cool concept and a nice change of pace from how a game set in these typical fantasy settings would go. You aren't some savior of the world, but just a shopkeeper trying to pay off debt.

Spooky Games:

Yuppie Psycho

Do you want a game about a corporate building being haunted by dark forces and being a badass fighting your way through it all? That's Control. You just want Control.

Unlike Control which bored me to death after a while. Yuppie Psycho is about a haunted corporate building, but you play a new lowly worker who's been tasked with something far above his pay grade. Brian Pasternack is a new hire who's in way over his head. What should have been a normal corporate jobs turns into a witch hunt, literally.

You aren't a badass and will have to sneak your way to victory, uncovering the buildings hidden secrets along the way. For me that's part of why this works over Control as a effective story. You're kind of a fucking nobody who has to be extra careful and is reluctant to even do this. Far more relatable honestly.

The joy of this game comes from exploring this building and uncovering the secrets and horrors. Each floor is unique and this game gets creative with the corporate horror vibe. I love some of the designs of things and how it blends comedy and horror together. It also has branching paths and even limited save slots which seemed frustrating at first, but wasn't really a big deal. Not saving every chance you can really adds to the tension when sneaking around.

It's not a true horror intense experience, but as someone who is a baby with horror I found a lot of genuine tense moments. It's a real indie gem.

The Complex: Found Footage

Kane Pixels backrooms videos are honestly pretty fucking great. I'm not usually a fan of horror at all, but there's something about these videos that just work for me. Then pgWave decided to make a video game creating the experience of exploring these kinds of spaces.

This is a creepy game where you slowly move through liminal spaces and just sort of get lost in it. There's no jumpscares or anything intense happening, but as a baby with horror this game was tense to go through for me. Honestly I appreciate it's not a more traditional horror game with a monster or something. Just dropped in a space that's inherently unsettling and leaving it up to you to explore.

If you have a free night and want to get lost exploring spaces only games could deliver then play it. It's literally free.

Games Where You Gotta Go Fast:

Distance

This game fucks. I actually remember when playing the first version of this game back when it was a student project. Students at DigiPen made a game called Nitronic Rush and it was (maybe still is?) available to download for free from the schools website. That game fucks and they announced a proper full game called Distance and it was one of the rare instances I actually bought a early access game.

Distance is a car game about going fast as fuck. The levels don't put you against anyone and instead just getting to the end is the challenge in itself. You have a boost that can overheat, a jump, and even wings when needed. The levels will require you to weave in and out of oncoming danger. They have jumps where you'll need to turn the car 90 or 180 degrees to land on a new track. All while giving you a wonderful sense of speed and accomplishment when you pull things off right.

It's not a easy game either and levels will get challenging. There's a ton of levels and challenges and if you get sucked into the gameplay then there's a lot to keep you there. This game seeks to deliver the thrill of going fast in a dangerous track where everything is out to kill you, and making it to the end. There's really not much more to say. It has a specific vision and fully realizes it.

Games Where You Trust the Heart of the Cards:

Foretales:

This game is very unique and nothing quite like what I've played before. The entire game is card based. Each of the characters have their own decks that are all mixed together in your hand. You have 4 resources you can collect, gold, food, fame, and infamy. You can get item cards as well. The board has various location cards you need to move through to move the story along. What's unique about this is the cards can be used in battle or on locations.

It's hard to really go into details how this all works, but you don't have a separate hand or anything for when combat begins.

Some cards have uses in locations and battles and others don't, but there all mixed together which adds to you planning ahead and making the best choice. You can use a eavesdrop card near a guard post to get a juicy secret which can be used for blackmail later. You can forage for food and obviously a forest will give you more then a mine shaft. There's a lot of really cool little interactions and creativity put into this systems that's just to complicated to type out and explain.

One thing I can get into is the best feature of combat. The fact that you can get through it without fighting or with less fighting then needed. Those 4 resources can be used in locations for story or optional reasons, but they can also be used in combat pacify enemies. Bandits can be bribed with gold or food for example. Fame and infamy can be used as well in certain circumstances. They are a constantly growing resource that always have uses. I'm sure it's possible to do a full pacifist run, though I imagine it would be difficult.

The game also has multiple paths for the story to go and lots of optional stuff. Multiple characters to use down the line but only 3 party members so there's more choice as well. Also everyone's an anthropomorphic animal because why not.

I just like how it's a card based game that's not just a battle between opponents or a roguelike or how cards are typically used in video games. If nothing else this game should be played for it's game design alone. If you want a really unique interactive story experience entirely dictated by cards then this is about the only game I know of like it.

One Step From Eden

I'm very bad at this game. So bad I still have never beaten it once. It's really fun all the same though.

It's a deckbuilding roguelike set on a grid. As the formula goes you fight your way through, choosing your path, collecting cards, and seeing if you can win. In my case that's a no.

The game is set on a grid where you have to manage what spells you currently have, dodging enemies, and somehow making sense of the chaos. You can unlock other characters that have their own unique mechanics to help freshen things up. Also the game just throws you in the deep end and lets you learn through playing. No tutorial or anything, just have at it.

If you're itching for a roguelike that's very fucking challenging then enjoy. 

Inscryption

This is another game I expect many others to know about, but if not then honestly just play it.

It's a rougelike card game set in a wonderfully crafted creepy setting. You're alone in some mysterious persons shack forced to play a really well designed card game. Of course if it was just that I'd not be recommending it.

The mechanics are well thought out and slowly learning the mechanics feels nice. You will fail, a lot, as is the case for roguelikes, but keep at it. The game is filled with secrets and puzzles and mysteries that you'll just have to figure out for yourself.

Much like with Outer Wilds way back at the top, I don't want to say much more. If you have somehow not played this or don't know anything about it then you should.

Tainted Grail: Conquest

This is still the only proper deck-building roguelike in the same vein as Slay the Spire. While I haven't played much of that and honestly couldn't get into it, this game I did.

It was described to me as Slay the Spire meets Dark Souls by some poor soul who's brain is forever lost in soulslike hell. In reality it's just a cool deck building game where you fight creepy monsters and slowly build up the village to make each run easier. There's characters to find and NPC quest you can make little progressions on each run. It's just enough story and context to give this game a sense or purpose and progression outside collecting cards.

What added more replayability to me beyond the quest was having 9 classes to work with. In truth it's really 3 broad classes with 3 variations on those broader class types. You have the fighter, archer, and summoner as the broad classes. They use similar cards, but their strategies vary with each subclass. A summoner is more about making their summons powerful, bloodmages use their own life to summon minions that get stronger and die on their own, and necromancers sacrifice their minions to turn into a Lich. The fighter and archer subclasses are as varied and it's a good way to use similar cards across different playstyles.

I had a lot of fun with this one. It's a fun deck building game. 

Thinking Games:

Manifold Garden:

I love the space this game takes place in. This is the shit only games can truly deliver on. The world is basically always looping. Each level repeats in all directions when your in open space. If you fall anywhere, you'll be ok. You can just fall endlessly even, it's very mesmerising and freeing once you get used to the fact that you can just jump off anywhere, and even needed to solve the level sometimes.

The other fun mechanic the puzzles primarily revolve around is the ability to walk on any surface and change gravity as you do it. Essentially you turn the wall into the new floor and is the main mechanic for puzzles in enclosed spaces. This game uses blocks of various colors and the simple task of putting them in the right slot is made complicated by having to altar gravity and matching them up. There's other mechanics introduced of course, but you'll need to discover those yourself.

The game can be beaten in a day give or take your skill at puzzles. I appreciate that it doesn't overstay it's welcome and uses it's mechanics in interesting ways. Also this reminds me I still need to play Antichamber someday.

If you like exploring spaces only games can deliver on or puzzles then this is the game for you.

FEZ

FEZ! This is such a fun interesting little game. It's probably well known given who the creator is, but if you haven't checked this out before, then you should.

The trailer makes it appear to be more a platformer then a puzzle game and that's half right. Similar to another game on this list, FEZ goes much deeper then a mere platformer. It has some esoteric puzzles. As I understand (could be wrong) one puzzle still hasn't been solved legitimately, but had to be brute forced and even now the community has no concrete answers on how you were supposed to get the solution.

The good news is the harder puzzles aren't technically required to just finish the game. You could still enjoy this as a fun platformer. The way the world works is you see the game world on a 2D plane. Like any other 2D platformer. However, the world itself is in 3D and you can switch the perspective to change where platforms and other things are. It's really fun moving about this world and in a sense each level is it's own puzzle to figure out how to get through it with these mechanics.

I highly recommend this game.

Thinking Games for DJ's

FRACT OSC

This is another game I would be shocked if anyone knew about. No one talks about this game ever and I don't even remember how I found out about it wayyyy back in college. This is also the oldest game on here I've played. I haven't touched this is years, but know I enjoyed it a lot.

What i remember is it's filled with music based puzzles. I also remember being very fucking confused and having to look shit up, but the real joy is just the vibe. Everything makes sound and the whole game revolves around music. I slowly explored as much as I could and just took it all in. It's a fun space to be in and I'm a sucker for being dropped in a unusual place only games can delivery on.

If you don't know shit about music production like me you might have a hard time or maybe I was just a fucking idiot and needed help. Either way I still recommend this to everyone.

Vibing with the Beat Games:

Sayonara Wild Hearts

This is basically a interactive album. It's a rhythm game that's not to difficult, which is good as this is more about the flow and vibe. There's not much more to say about it. It will take an hour and every bit is lovely. It's a visual and auditory feast that has some clever ideas packed in. I think everyone should experience it.

Soundodger+

This game won't be on the Steam store for much longer sadly. Warner Bros being shitty and taking cool shit down. I haven't played any other of the Adult Swim games that are being taken down, but I encourage you to find the list and get anything interesting while you still can.

The game itself is a fun little bullet hell rhythm game. The song plays and you are a circle in the middle of larger circle. Obstacles are thrown out into the middle timed to the music and you simply have to dodged them. I don't remember it being to hard, but I know there are community levels and I just have to assume those are going to be tough.

It's a cool game to vibe to and it's going to be gone soon. Don't miss your chance to get it.

Artsy Games That I Don't Know Where Else To Put Them:

The Beginner's Guide

This a narrative experience about the relationship between the narrator and the game dev who's games are being played. That may not sound like the most interesting premise, but trust me it's very engaging. This game has a unsettling feeling underneath it all and it's really hard to go into more without just spoiling things.

The actual game is you going through a series of small little games made by a Dev named Coda as the narrator Davey speaks to you about various things relating to the game and Coda himself. It's explores a character who's frankly caught up in a unhealthy obsession with someone else and quite the journey.

It will only take a hour and half to get through and I think it's worth a playthrough if you like narratives only video games can deliver on.

The Static Speaks My Name   

This is the shortest game on this list. It's also the most depressing. If you struggle with dark thoughts and depression and really need something happy to distract you, then do not play this little free game.

It's a sad and unsettling little experience that has a lot of room for interpretation. I'm a fan of little strange pieces of art like this and if this sounds interesting to you then it's free. Check it out.

Minimalist City Builder Games:

ISLANDERS

This such a cute game. It's a simple city builder where the goal is to keep building things correctly and move on to another island. You start on a randomly generated island and are given a set of buildings and a number to reach. Buildings will get bonuses based on whats near them and as you unlock more buildings the number to reach gets higher.

That's really it. It's easy to understand and a nice little relaxing game about building a cool island town. Pretty cheap and pretty fun.

Multi Genre:

The Hex

This is multi genre because it quite literally has many different gameplay modes packed in it. A bunch of old video game characters stay at a Tavern where a murder may take place. It's a murder mystery! Also so much more.

In truth it's a narrative video game about exploring these characters past lives and revealing a larger narrative underneath it all. This was made by Daniel Mullens who's latest game I recommended earlier. Much like Inscryption, this game slowly draws you into it's setting and drop feeds you it's secrets slowly.

The Hex was pleasantly surprising as I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. It's worth playing.

That's it. That's the list. Over 50 more games to add to your Steam library which means over 50 more games you'll get to, eventually.

#video games #Steam #indie games #Steam Sale #Gaming

[rotten-games]

Rott Update

So! It's done and debugged.

It's been a long year, a hard one, but hopefully things will change and I'll be able to get back into gear and into the groove of things again (an explanation post coming soon to a theater near you).

I'm not going to lie... there's a lot here that is rough, there's a bit I'm not too proud of, but truth be told if I don't release it as is I'm never going to get anything done. FOR THE MOST PART, it is a complete experience; there should be nothing here that isn't completely playable or obviously a placeholder. If there is let me know and I'll fix that.

Keep in mind that old saves might not work with the current build. If you come across a bug and you have used an old save, you may need to restart the game to get it to work properly.

With that all well and said, if you just want to experience the game here's the link as always: https://rotten-games.itch.io/rott-book-one

If you want the full rundown here's the change log below the cut.

This version of the game includes the following:

The equivalent of the full first four chapters that were included in the original version of the game is now included. I've now caught up on the rewrites and will be moving onto the completely new chapters after a brief break.

You can now meet an additional three to six romancable characters with varying degrees of interaction; Lokeira, Korrin, Ettia, Ardwen, Nox, and Bex!

Train with Severa, Herron, or Spotter and potentially see a start to your own romances with them during the festival.

Get rejected!

Make a bargain.

Speak to a messenger of the Gods?

The original dreams in chapter one were edited. Typos were fixed and some passages were changed. In some cases, additional choices were added.

A light mode has been added. It's a little bit rough and I would like to do some further changes to it but for now it's here. If you need some changes made or additionally want further colour modes added just reach out and I can see what I can do.

The relationship screen now mentions milestones in your relationships with certain characters (both romantic and platonic!)

Known bugs:

As far as I can tell I've ironed out most of the bugs but there's always inevitably some that sneak through and I have no doubt that there will be others. There's two main things I haven't yet been able to fix.

There may be some visual issue that I haven't gotten around to but aren't a priority at the moment. If you see one please let me know so I can note it down for later.

This one is a bit illusive. You may find you are unable to progress the game near the end of the final chapter. I currently cannot replicate this bug (I've tried, trust me I've tried) and thus have no idea whether it's fixed or not so... watch out.

​That being said, I'm glad to finally get this finished. I'm gonna be having a brief break before getting back into it (mostly to find and compile my old notes for the next few chapters).

Hope you enjoy :)

#Rott game #update #I realised belatedly yesterday that it would be awfully awkward if I put out an update on april fools #the decision to post it today was only partially for that reason

[kyuushi]

I present (🎁) the character relationship chart from the first official fanbook! Big thanks to Pancake from the Kyuushi Discord server for the scans 🫶

The translation, cleaning, and typesetting were all done by me so please forgive any messiness & mistakes. But I'm always very open to feedback so feel free to reach out, especially if you notice tl issues!

Please don't repost the image around. You can just share the link to this post! (If I end up needing to make corrections, I will cry if an old incorrect version is floating around somewhere!!)

↓Some extra notes below the cut↓

****

I originally wanted to post this along with a more accessible version (aka text version) but unfortunately that would be a ton of extra work and I have other projects I'd like to spend my time on instead. I'm also not really knowledgeable about that stuff to begin with so I'm not sure what kind of format would be best for screen readers or other accessibility aids. If anyone else would like to take up the mantle and create a text version, please message me!

****

Translation Notes:

Mippiki: Written "３人と１匹" but read as "みっぴき," this word is very important to the Kyuushi fandom! It describes the main characters living in the office- Rona, Draluc, Hinaichi, and John. "Mi" comes from 3 and "ippiki" is how you would count 1 small animal, an armadillo in this case.

Sagyou's "hah? to respect ratio": The "hah?" here is like an exasperated sound he's making. In Japanese it was one of these babies: ぁ゙. So his frustration to respect ratio is 9 to 1.

Calling someone a typhoon/hurricane: I think this is probably self explanatory but since I don't think this is a common expression in English, I'll explain a bit. Basically it's likening someone to the chaos and power of a storm.

Shot's "filthy cool": In Japanese this is "ヨゴレかっこいい." I can't find instances of this phrase being used outside of Kyuushi so this seems to be a Bonnoki original? I've seen others tl this some different ways but I tried to make it sound kinda cool in English, though it also kinda makes no sense lol, sorry.

Tabiko being in the "vampires" section: Just in case anyone is confused, Tabiko is definitely a human. I think there just wasn't space to stick her anywhere else.

Manner calling Satetsu "big bro": "兄イ" in Japanese. I think most people recognize words like "onii-san" and "aniki" at this point but I'm not sure about just "anii" (also big brother) so I decided to tl it here. As you may have guessed, this is not him literally trying to adopt Satetsu as his brother, but rather a term of respect (albeit a teasing one). Satetsu is uncomfortable being called this, mostly because it reminds him of his embarrassing delinquent past.

Nagiri's nickname for John: I chose to keep this as "Maru" ("丸," literally "circle") just because I think it sounds like a cute nickname lol.

Fiasco calling Manner "spoiled rich boy": Originally "ボンボン" in Japanese. You might have heard a character called "bon" or even this kinda insulting version, "bonbon," before. It describes a young man from a rich family. I added "spoiled" because I thought it sounded too much like a complement just to call him "genius rich boy," even with "damn" in front 😂

Nuyan: John's "nu" combined with a dog's "wan" (bark). Remember that time Yomo hypnotized John into acting like a dog? That John never fully recovered from? Yeah.

****

As I said please do let me know if you spot any mistakes or have any questions or comments. You can even ask if you're just confused about who certain characters are or what the relationship arrow is indicating! Kyuushi has a ton of characters and they can be difficult to keep track of, especially for the English fandom which doesn't have access to all the materials.

Thanks if you actually read all of these walls of text 🫡

#kyuuketsuki sugu shinu #kyuushi #the vampire dies in no time #tvdint #my translation #i spent 329084092 hours on dis guys pls pray for me #cleaning is so not my forte #i never want to see a checkered or polka dotted bg again in my LIFE #*looks at second fanbook relationship chart which has huge polka dotted section* meep #meant to post this yesterday on xmas day but i got a migraine so umm better late than never amirite

[roarriita]

roommates - ellie williams (6)

au

femreader!xelliewilliams!

part five, here

content warning: explicit language, mention of drugs, sexual thoughts & acts, potential parental issues

// authors note: there is a small singing portion. yes, bbg ellie is singing and if you're the kind of person that likes to get completely immersed into the fanfic you're reading, i suggest listening to this cover while reading the singing portion of this chapter. i know i loved listening to it as i wrote it (you don't have to tho!) but anyway i hope you guys enjoy and are having an amazing day/night!! link to cover. //

// initial summary: the day after you officially moved into your new college dorm, you decide to take a look around the school, getting familiar to the clubs that they have to offer as well as the libraries, classes and cafeteria. you come back to your dorm in hopes of taking a shower and sitting in quiet solitude, but your plans are disrupted by your new roommate moving in… ellie williams. //

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━━═━═━═━

it's been four weeks. four whole weeks since you last felt ellie's lips on yours. the tension between you two felt like a heat wave. you could barely think, your skin burned, and the air became all too difficult to breathe. you weren't sure how exactly you made it this far without giving in.

your eyes followed along with your book as you sat under the big oak tree on campus. despite it almost being october, it was warm out today. you decided to take advantage of the nice weather and read outside. not being able to really process the words that you were reading, you set the book aside and sighed. you looked up at the clouds, trying to figure out what different shapes the masses created.

strawberry… pencil… heart… and a man holding a little girls hand. you shut your eyes and cursed at your brain to stop playing tricks with you. you opened your eyes and analyzed the clouds again.

lollipop… cat… trumpet and two faces screaming at each other. with a frustrated sigh, you looked back down at your book and left your post at the tree.

back in your dorm, ellie sat on her bed, sketching. whenever ellie had free time, that's what you'd see her doing, either that or playing the guitar. although, she never let you see more than the occasional quick sketch, she always let you hear her playing the guitar and even let you put in requests. finishing up on her drawing, she held it up to blow away the led residue.

just then, her phone began to ring.

after checking the caller id, the corners of her lips slightly raised. ellie immediately answered it. "dad, hey."

"hey, dino." joel spoke. "i was calling to to thank you for the birthday gift."

"when are you going to stop calling me that." ellie groaned.

"does never sound good to you?" joel sarcastically responded.

"ugh, whatever. just know, you’re one more birthday away from being put in diapers." ellie sassed.

joel laughed. "is that a threat, dino?"

"think of it as a promise, old man." ellie joked. the daughter and father duo laughed before returning to their conversation.

"but seriously, i love the power drill set." joel said. "i've been getting the jobs done ten times as faster with this thing."

ellie smiled but bit her lip when she was reminded of the fact that her dad was still working, day and night in order to send her to school. ever since joel took 8-year-old ellie in, she couldn't help but feel like a burden to the man. he was just too good to her. "well, i'm glad to hear that."

"if you don't mind me asking, where'd you get the money for it? this isn't one of those cheap 20 dollar sets you get from walmart, these are high quality, meaning it would've had to cost you at least a hundred or so bucks." joel questioned.

"don't worry about it." ellie replied.

"dino, don't tell me you got a part time job." joel sighed into the phone. "what did i tell you? i wanted you to focus on your schoolwork and if you needed money that i'd send you some."

"dad, please, i don't want a lecture right now." ellie said. "i like working, okay? it's a nice break from school, i swear to you, it's not getting in the way of school."

"but-"

ellie cut him off. "dad, please."

"alright..." the man sighed. "at least promise me that you'll leave as soon as it starts getting in the way of your education?"

"i promise, dad." ellie assured him. some muffled hollering paired with the sound of an excavator, interrupted their conversation.

"i'll be right there!" joel shouted away from his phone before turning back to his blackberry. "i gotta go. have a good day and don't stress yourself out too much."

"okay, dad."

"love you, dino."

"love you too, dad, bye."

"bye."

once the phone call ended, ellie got up from her bed and walked over to her desk. she took one more look at her latest sketch and smiled. once she heard the door open, she shut her sketchbook and placed it inside the bottom drawer of the desk. "hey, el." you almost muttered before dropping your bag on top of your dresser.

"hey, (y/n)." ellie responded, when she noticed how sad you looked, she crossed her arms. "is everything alright?"

you turned around, leaning your back into the dresser. you tried lying and saying you were fine but you just couldn't find the energy to do so. "no, i’m not."

"do you wanna tell me what's wrong?" ellie took a step closer to you. she rarely ever saw you like this. you were so good at masking your anger and sadness. last week, ellie literally saw you smile through the pain of receiving a horrible grade for a test that you studied your ass off for.

"no." you shook your head. if there was one thing that you and ellie had in common, was that of feeling like a burden.

"right..." ellie said. "is there anything i can do to make you feel better?"

you thought about it for a second. your eyes trailed around the room and a small smile formed on your lips when you saw her guitar. you walked over to her side of the room, grabbed the instrument and then held it out to her. "born to die by lana del rey." ellie took the guitar from you with a matching smile. "did you actually learn it?"

"maybe." ellie shrugged. "you'll have to be the judge of that." ellie didn't want to admit it but every time you requested a song that she didn't know, she'd spend hours trying to learn it. she just loved the way your face lit up at the sound of her fingers strumming the guitar to your favorite songs.

ellie took a seat on her desk chair as you did the same on your own. she propped up the instrument and readied her hands and fingers. after a quiet and barely audible countdown left ellie's lips, she began playing.

once she started, you felt the knot of anxiety that had formed at the pit of your stomach earlier, slowly come undone. you noticed she played the first few cords a couple of times, almost like she was preparing herself for something. without warning, ellie began singing. "feet don't fail me now, take me to the finish line. oh, my heart, it breaks every step that i take, but i'm hoping at the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine." by now, the knot had completely come undone. her voice sounded so pretty and blissful. you've never heard a voice as gentle and beautiful as hers.

"walking through the city streets, is it by mistake or design? i feel so alone on a friday night. can you make it feel like home, if i tell you you're mine? it's like I told you, honey,"

ellie stared down at her fingers strumming the guitar, she was too nervous to see your reaction. she continued to sing, feeling every strum, every melody and every lyric. "don't make me sad, don't make me cry, sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough, i don't know why. keep making me laugh, let's go get high. the road is long, we carry on, try to have fun in the meantime."

you were too captivated by her voice to filter yourself as your eyes watered up. "come and take a walk on the wild side. let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain. you like your girls insane. so, choose your last words, this is the last time, 'cause you and i, we were born to die."

ellie played a few more chords before coming to a stop. her cheeks were flushed as she placed her guitar down. she grabbed her thighs and looked up at you, ready to take whatever negative criticism you had to throw at her. "holy shit, ellie." a few tears escaped from your (y/c/e) eyes.

"please tell me you liked it." ellie almost begged.

"liked it?" you questioned. "ellie, i'm fucking crying. i loved it!" you then got out of your seat to pull her in for a hug. you wrapped your arms around her neck and pulled her head close, up against your stomach. with a smile of content and relief, ellie tightly wrapped her arms around your lower waist.

ellie slowly got out of her seat to hug you properly. she took in the milliseconds that passed as she held you in her arms. she missed this, she ached for this. she wants so desperately to never let you go. here, in this position, it was perfect. it was enough for her. it was more than enough and though she was the one who ended things, she wished that this was enough for you too. even if it was just for now.

she needed you to wait for her.

✩───────────✩──────────✩

"i don't get it, why am i blindfolded." you asked as ellie's car came to a stop.

"because it's a surprise." ellie answered. "you can take off your seatbelt now."

once you took it off, ellie got out of the car and jogged around to your side. she opened the door, helped you out and then led you to wherever it was she wanted to take you. you held on tightly to her hands, not wanting to trip or fall. as you inched closer, you could hear the sounds of laughter, games and loud swooshing noises. "okay, stop." ellie stood behind you and carefully removed the blindfold.

your face lit up when you realized where ellie had taken you and why she asked you to wear shorts or pants instead of your usual dress. "the carnival."

"surprise." ellie smiled.

"you didn't have to do this ellie." you looked over at her. this was probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for you.

"but i wanted to." ellie shrugged. she'd do anything to see you get your smile back.

"but my bag, you told me to leave my bag at home." your eyebrows furrowed.

"yeah, 'cause today is on me." ellie said.

"oh, c'mon." you protested. "i can't let you do that."

"too bad, we're already here." ellie shrugged as she grabbed one of your hands and began pulling you towards the entrance. "and i'm not leaving until we go on every single ride and try every deep-fried food this place has to offer."

"fine, but if i puke on you, don't blame me." the two of you laughed as you walked inside.

━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━═━━═━═━═━

part seven, here

#ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #tlou #college ellie! #fluff #ellie williams au #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem!reamder #elliexreader #tlou2 #ellie sings to you

[xsdjkl]

Songbird's interesting voice lines

Before I dive into the topic I just want to express my gratitude and respect for Minji Chang's work as Songbird in Phantom Liberty. She has done an incredible job and on a personal note - I consider it the best voice performance I've ever experienced in a video game.

I listened to the video linked below and wrote down everything that caught my attention. I haven't heard quite a lot of these in game. I divided everything by topics (?) and also added some lines that I personally find interesting in terms of my upcoming projects. Enjoy and feel free to start discussions! :)

Topics:

Songbird's lore

Songbird about Reed

SongV interactions

AI lines

Just her ✨voice✨

Others

Songbird lore:

"Being in your head's taxing, takes energy and focus." (6:09)

"Don't wanna mess in your head more than I have to. Construct really done a number on you."(11:46)

"Learned my lesson 9 years ago. Blind date with this suit from Asukaga & Finch. Regret that one till the day I croak." (13:40)

"Hanging out inside your head's problematic. For you and me." (14:35)

"V, about the construct… Is it… I mean, you feel you're making your own choices?" (15:04)

"But I believe in random shit and I'm infuriatingly stubborn."(19:35)

"Operating on instinct, intuition, huh? Same here."(20:19)

"Karma, huh? Used to believe in that too. Now, I wouldn't be so sure."(20:29)

"Just been on my mind since I patched in. Maybe cause I've had your biomon feed floating in front of my eyes all the time."(23:54)

"That thing… It almost fried my brain. I had to look for help. Beyond the Blackwall." (30:53)

"I'm gonna puke"(40:39) | she sounds so scared? afraid of doing that? also, internal organs discussion continues. |

"Oath, crednetials, coin? What have you gotten me into?" (1:00:43) | my question is - is the coin mentioned the same coin Myers gives V? |

"I gave myself one last chance and you stripped me of it."(1:10:17)

"I never wanted to join them (FIA)."(1:10:34)

"What you don't know is how sorry I am. How much it all hurts." (1:11:37)

"Pushing forth, never looking back used to piss me off. Now, wish the future was all I could think about." (1:36:50)

"I knew (about the cure) from the start." (1:46:04)

Songbird about Reed:

"But I've shown you my trust. I mean, you're free to sell me out to Reed, or trust me enough to save us both. No guarantee for either of us."(36:52)

"I warned you, Reed stole my life. Once away, I won't let him steal it again."(1:13:17)

"All's better without him."(1:13:29)

"It's more convenient. Yes, con-ven-ient. Reed would say so too."(1:15:55)

"Has a use for me maybe, but one use only. To feel good about himself, what he's doing."(1:34:32)

"I was afraid to trust him. Just couldn't… understand why now was lying to himself. Desperate to believe he wouldn't have to choose between me and Myers, but his and the NUS's national conscience - one and the same."(1:47:24)

SongV interaction lines:

"Sorry, you're ignoring me on purpose or you actually trying and you happen to just suck? I can't tell" (1:25)

"This is the easiest way in, I promise. And stop whining." (4:26)

"To me, you're a rainbow colour figure on a 3D building plan." (4:39) 🏳️‍🌈🧐

"Ooooh, watch your head then." (5:23)

"Not right now, V. I'm… just a little tied up."(8:16)

"Try and get up. I'm on your side, V. We'll get along, I'm certain." (11:38)

"You need this drama? You'll be fine, but if it helps, sure, I promise." (13:29)

"Hurry, V. Please, save her. Save her and I'll save you." (14:59)

"I dunno. Kinda reminds me of my own path I guess." (19:32)

"Mind if I ask why you poked your nose into that?" (20:10)

"Ookay too soon I guess. No pressure, we can come back to it." (20:50)

"Think you'd do anything for another chance?"(23:41)

"Sorry, not, uh, what I… I just want things to work out for you. You're fighting for yourself. Your life. Deserve another shot."(24:02)

"For what we're paying, I expect your complete attention."(50:21)

"Off in la la land?"(50:18)

"See? You don't have to be a douche, just try a little."(1:47:03)

"Plus, made yourself pretty fucking memorable give your antics."(1:50:06)

"Crap, V, really? Can't you just stick to my instructions?" (1:50:11)

"We're lookin' good!" (1:50:43)

(1:51:00) "V, what's going on?" "Hey there." "Hey, V." 😏

"V, you're bleeding!"(1:51:34)

"Looking a little rough, V!"(1:51:36)

"V, give me a hand!" (1:51:43)

"What? Need me to hold your hand?" (1:52:20) yes please

AI lines:

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."(26:41) | Songbird's loosing control over Chimera. I find it interesting how every word is said in a different tone. |

"No, no I have not lost control!" (56:43) | she's in so much pain🥺|

"Who will you betray next? Who have you not yet?"(57:26)

"Hidden harmonies. Hidden meanings. World entirely new. Equation unknown."(1:27:52)

"I see things I've never seen. I hear sounds I've never heard. I feel things never felt. A riddle wrapped in a mystery."(1:28:17)

"It's that how you ultimately lose all those you care about." (1:54:20)

"When you do not exist, there is nothing to fear." (1:54:34)

"Do not fear death." (1:54:37)

"You will not see the home as long as you remain a part of it." (1:54:42)

"Life consists of pieces, scattered, beyond repair." (1:54:48)

"You do not give up even when all have betrayed you." (1:55:33)

When her voice is just ✨:

"All true, Johhny, but don't you fret. You're both safe. (3:17)

"*laugh* I see" 4:34

"Sooo, how's my shortcut treating you?" (5:50)

"And spoil the surprise? No, no, no."(29:01)

"Please, V."(1:17:11) |her voice killed me.|

So Mi crying. (1:17:52)

Others I wanted to include for reasons™:

"Fucking motherfucking fuck!" (7:30)

"Big dreams don't fade. They sack and crumble." (14:10)

"I know what I've done, know the price I've paid. Everything I did, the people I hurt… it's meaningless. It matters not at all." (1:05:10)

"Dying is my only hope." (1:19:42)

"Have to behave like puppy bot set to easy obedience mode."(1:26:11)

"You're so tiny[…]"(1:34:41)

"Orbital's network traffic's looking itchy. Not liking this. They're watching you. Do nothing even remotely sus."(1:39:10)

"Prom-- Mmm…Hm."(1:45:52)

"All I got to say - easy as pie. Should do this more often."(1:51:28)

"Ha! Try again, gonk!"(1:51:58)

#long post #minji chang #song so mi #songbird #phantom liberty #cyberpunk 2077 #solomon reed #songv

[unseededtoast]

Turtle Doves | Joel Miller x F!oc

Part One

Chapter Directory

Series Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. (slow burn, timeline changes. After TLOU1, before TLOU2, assumed knowledge of infected, uses elements from both show and game)

Series Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, and sexual content.

Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted!

wc: 2.9k

a/n: Thank you for checking out this story! This is by far one of my favorites that I've ever written and I am beyond ecstatic to finally be able to share it with you all. I will be uploading a new part every week, and let me know if you'd like to be tagged! Once again thank you so much!

"What do you think of all this?" My voice is unusually hoarse as I take in the images before me. There have been reports of some sickness going around, mainly in the bigger cities, far enough from here to make us feel safe, for now.

(use this link for geographical reference points)

Upbeat music sounds through the house, bright sunshine beaming through the open windows. The crisp breeze whips in every few seconds, blowing the sheer curtains and cooling the house. It all makes it seem more real that summer is finally here. I lightly bob my head to the beat, enjoying the first day of warmth and excited for our first cookout of the year. I hear a few of the guests in the back yard already, laughing and clinking bottles together.

I turn around and open the freezer door, grabbing the ice tray off the top shelf and breaking up the frozen water inside, so that I can dump the cubes into the glass pitcher sitting on the kitchen counter. The ice clings as it falls to the bottom of the pitcher, and I go to fill it with water to finish the lemonade. With another gust of wind, the smell of grilled burgers floats in, making me all too excited to get back out there.

The doorbell rings out and I quickly turn the water off so that the lemonade doesn't overflow into the sink. I set the pitcher off to the side and dry my hands on the towel laying on the counter. Quickly, I make my way to the door and open it, greeting the next arrivals with a wide smile on my face.

"Thank you guys for coming, please make yourselves at home! I think the burgers are just about done out back." I say and close the door behind them, grabbing a dish from my friend's full hands and placing it on the counter. Her daughter toddles through the house, mumbling about something that's apparently very important to her. I smile softly at the little girl and turn my attention to my friend, who I haven't seen in forever. Her husband quickly finds his way to the back yard with the other guests.

"Sorry we're late, someone did not want to wear shoes today." She breathily laughs, setting down a diaper bag as she watches her daughter walk around the house.

"I understand, shoes are a pain." I joke with her and open the fridge to grab a chilled bottle. I hand the wine cooler to her and she pops the cap, taking a sip. I look at my friend, who I notice looks tired and stressed, more than usual. There are dark circles under her eyes and her hair is haphazardly thrown up into a bun. Her appearance is out of character for her, she's typically always primped and dressed for the occasion.

"Tell me about it. I was half tempted to just let her come barefoot. How's Lucas?" She asks about my son, taking another sip. I turn my head to look out the back door, seeing my son being held by my husband.

"He's loving all the attention out there, that's for sure. How are things going, Lisa? I feel like I haven't seen you since last year." I inquire, casually grabbing the lemonade pitcher and setting it beside the veggie tray I took from her. She sighs,

"Things have been better. John has been working more hours lately. Which is fine, it's just that I feel like I never sleep anymore." She tries to joke, but I can sense the exhaustion in her. Her husband works as a physician at a local hospital, and has been on call for the past two weeks. I offer her a small smile and put a hand on her shoulder,

"You and little miss Amelia are welcome here anytime. Lucas would enjoy the company and I know you'd enjoy the rest. I mean it, I don't mind watching her." I tell her, knowing that she will likely never take me up on the offer. Lisa doesn't like to impose on people, though she wouldn't be imposing at all.

"I appreciate it Noelle, thank you." She nods gratefully. Amelia finds her way to the back door and puts her slobber-covered hands on the glass, mumbling nonsense but making it clear she wants out there with everyone else. I laugh at her silliness and balance the veggie tray in one hand and grab the lemonade in the other.

"I think Amelia wants to get out there. Feel free to just relax, we can watch over her. Enjoy yourself, mama." I say and make my way to the backdoor and expertly open it with my elbow. Amelia squeals and runs out onto the grass with the other kids.

Lisa goes to sit on the couch, taking another drink, and I close the door behind me. I set the veggie tray down on a foldable table where the other side dishes are and place the cold lemonade beside the other beverages. The burgers smell amazing and I can't help but glance over to the grill to see if they're done yet. To my disappointment, they're not ready, so I walk over to my husband Ryan, who has Lucas in his arms.

"Do you want me to take him?" I ask, knowing that even though Lucas is a small kid, he gets quite heavy after a while. Ryan nods and hands him off to me, kissing me on the forehead before he goes to grab a beer out of the cooler. Lucas lays his head on my shoulder and I can tell he's ready for his afternoon nap.

I go back in the house to find Lisa chilling on the couch, her drink empty in hand and her head resting back on the cushion with her eyes closed. Quietly, I make my way to Lucas' room and lay him down in bed. Of course, as soon as he's on the mattress he's starts to throw a fit, because he's so obviously not tired.

"Shhh, it's okay." I soothe him, running a hand through his short hair and tucking a light sheet around him while he curls his tiny little hand around my fingers. He always likes to be holding someone's hand as he falls asleep, I think it must be some sort of security thing for him. And thankfully, he's out in just a few minutes. Skillfully, I wiggle my hand from his grasp and close his door softly, hoping he'll sleep for at least an hour or two.

Lisa is now sitting up on the couch, her elbows resting on her knees as she leans forward, listening intensely to whatever is on. Something on the TV must have caught her attention.

I go to the fridge and grab a drink, wanting to indulge a little since Lucas is down for a nap. The words on the TV pique my interest, and I go to sit beside Lisa, who only glances at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Los Angeles is the latest city to be placed under Martial Law. The number of confirmed deaths has now passed two hundred. And according to a leaked report from the World Health Organization, recent vaccination attempts have failed." The reporter seems uptight and rigid as she speaks. Absentmindedly, I take another sip of my drink, feeling uneasy about what I'm hearing. The upbeat music from the yard starkly contrasts the severity of what's on the television.

The news broadcast switches to a helicopter view of Los Angeles and shows a temporary military camp being set up. Large armored trucks line the streets and soldiers instruct people where they need to go. There's smoke in the air from fires that have been set, and it looks like some foreign, war-torn country.

"What do you think of all this?" My voice is unusually hoarse as I take in the images before me. There have been reports of some sickness going around, mainly in the bigger cities, far enough from here to make us feel safe, for now. But seeing the devastation and panic of those in New York, Detroit, and now Los Angeles is making me more uneasy about the whole thing.

"I don't like it. John says we shouldn't worry about it. Whatever it is, they'll find a cure for it soon. He says he hasn't seen anything come through the hospital yet and that we're okay. But I don't know, I can't help but worry, you understand." Lisa's voice is soft, but serious. She tears her eyes away from the screen and looks to me as she finishes her sentence, and I nod my head.

"I understand. Ryan says the same thing. But we aren't that far from Detroit, really. I mean what, a few hours by car? I told him we should at least stock up on some canned goods, just in case." I say, knowing that we share the same anxiety about this mysterious sickness. The back door slides open quickly,

"Burgers are done!" Ryan's voice calls out into the house, snapping Lisa and I out of our contemplation. I clear my throat and take another drink before standing and offering Lisa my hand. She takes it and I help her up as well, and we both go outside, trying to forget what we just saw on the screen.

We join the others in the back yard and Lisa makes quick work to fix Amelia a plate. I urge others to get a plate before I do, feeling unnerved from the news report. After everyone goes through the line, I grab a plate as well, but can only bring myself to put some fruit on it, and that's just for show.

I join Ryan at the patio table and he's tucking into his burger with all the fixings. I take another drink and try my absolute best to act perfectly normal and unperturbed. Ryan swallows and looks between my plate and my face, his eyebrows scrunching together.

"Only fruit?" I nod my head, knowing it's out of my usual to not load up with a burger, chips, and some type of sweet.

"Just not feeling too well." I passively offer as an explanation and take a strawberry into my mouth. He takes another bite of his burger, keeping his eyes on me. I know he can see through my lie, but I know he won't push it in front of people. He puts a hand on my thigh and gives it a squeeze, and I place my hand on top of his.

I take another strawberry and look out into our back yard, seeing Amelia happily nibbling on a bun Lisa gave her. Another little kid sits beside Amelia, Ethan is his name, and he is content with his bowl of chips his mother gave him. Ethan's mother, Rebecca, met Lisa and I at a birthing education group a few years back and we all clicked together instantly. Rebecca's husband, Tim, fit right in with our husbands as well.

Others mill about the yard, associates of Ryan who I don't know very well, but they're friendly enough and I don't mind them. I've never been able to connect with them too well, seeing as there's a sizable age gap between me and the majority of them. Plus, they're all lawyers and I'm a florist, there's not much common ground between the two. Sometimes I wish I had more in common with Ryan's friends, but over time I've accepted that it's okay for us to have differences.

My eyes drift from the people to my flower beds, which are all manicured to perfection. Luckily, all the flowers are vibrant and full, adding more life to the yard it sometimes lacks in the colder months.

After a while, I go about collecting plates and cleaning up the food as the sun begins to disappear behind the horizon. Ryan is entertaining a newly energized Lucas as Lisa and I pack away the leftovers and hunt out the s'mores supplies. No Allen family cookout is complete without s'mores.

I turned the television off as soon as we started bringing things in, not being able to bear the words and images that were sure to be there. If I can just push those thoughts from my mind for another couple hours and make sure people enjoy the cookout, then I can worry about it for the rest of the night after they leave.

Lisa hands me a platter of leftover burgers to put in the fridge and breaks the silence,

"Your flowers are beautiful this year, I really like the tulips you have here." She compliments my fresh pink tulips on the counter. I had picked them this morning before everyone got here so they looked their best. I smile, appreciating the compliment.

"Thank you, I tried to pick the best ones. You can take those with you if you want. I have plenty." I say, motioning to the backyard. It's true, I have an abundance of flowers to choose from, and I want Lisa to have something nice for herself, she deserves it.

"Oh no, I couldn't. You worked hard on those." She dismisses with a wave of her hand, but I give her a stern look.

"Lisa, please take the flowers or I will make sure John takes them." I say, pushing the vase across the counter to her. She knows she's not going to win this argument and concedes, taking the vase in her hands.

"Thank you, Noelle." Her voice is quiet, and I give her a nod.

"Don't mention it. Now let's get these kids full of sugar before bed!" I laugh and hand her some of the s'mores ingredients to take out.

A few of the men had started the fire and have it at a nice height, it should last us long enough to get the s'mores made and for people to say their goodbyes for the night. I hand out the skewers and place the ingredients on the foldable tables, allowing people to help themselves.

Lucas waddles over to me with a marshmallow in his tiny hand, and I smile, knowing he wants me to toast it for him. I grab him in my arms and take his marshmallow, placing it on a skewer before sitting us on a chair close to the fire. Lucas is on my lap as I watch the marshmallow to ensure I don't burn it, but toast it perfectly for him. Lucas is kind of a marshmallow snob, he won't eat one that's been burnt or under-toasted, he only wants the golden-brown ones.

After rotating the marshmallow with patience, I think it's finally good enough for his standards. I grab it off the skewer and blow on it so that he doesn't burn his mouth on the hot sugar. His hands reach towards it, but I lean away to cool it off as much as possible. I can tell he's getting frustrated, and so as soon as I'm sure it's an acceptable temperature, I give it to him. He wastes no time in shoving it in his mouth, a wide, gummy smile on his face with tiny little teeth barely visible.

I watch him lovingly, enjoying seeing him so happy with something so simple. As Lucas finishes his marshmallow, some people begin filtering out for the night. I wave goodbye to them and take Lucas inside to clean him up before bed. His hands and face are sticky with marshmallow fluff, and the last thing I want is for him to touch everything in his reach and get everything coated in stickiness.

I set him up on the counter beside the sink and grab a fresh rag, wetting it lightly so I can get the gross off of him. Rebecca, Tim, and Ethan are the next ones to leave, and I wish them a safe drive home, and thank them once more for coming. Lisa, John, and Amelia are the last ones to leave, and I make sure Lisa takes the tulips with her despite her protests.

After Lucas is cleaned up and Ryan has tidied the back yard, I'm ready for bed. My eyelids are heavy with sleep, and I can't wait to get underneath my warm covers. Lucas fights his bedtime as per usual, but finally lays down for me after minutes of whining.

I close his door and turn off the main lights in the house and ensure the night lights are on, just in case Lucas gets up in the night and needs to get to our room. I rub my eyes as I enter my bedroom and go to the bathroom to do my nightly routine. Ryan is already in bed, flipping through channels to find something.

I rush through my routine and get underneath the covers, sighing with relief as I feel my spine decompress from the day. Rolling over into Ryan's side, I rest my head on his shoulder and look at the television screen. Immediately, I'm displeased with what I see. A bold headline is front and center and it reads 'Death Toll Rises, When Will This End?'. Luckily the TV is on mute so I can't hear what the news reporter is saying.

"I think we need to stock up on things tomorrow. I don't like how this is looking." I say, standing my ground this time. Ryan can believe whatever he wants about this sickness, but I won't risk Lucas going without food or any necessity if things get bad.

"First thing in the morning we can go." Ryan's voice is raspy, and he turns the TV off, not bothering to watch anything else. He adjusts his position and pulls me into him, kissing me goodnight before he rolls over to turn off his bedside lamp.

I cuddle into his side, enjoying the safety I feel in his arms and close my eyes, ready to fall asleep. As I feel myself drifting off, I hear muffled sirens in the distance.

Part Two

#joel miller #joel miller series #joel miller x oc #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut #joel miller tlou #joel the last of us #joel tlou #the last of us #tlou #joel miller romance #slow burn #angst with a happy ending #angst #severe angst #pedro pascal

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Hiii

Can you do the bassists too (safe words)

Absolutely! Here are Jason and Cliff with using safe words, I was going to add Rob but I literally couldn't think of anything, nothing against him as a bassist or person in general I've just never been into him I guess so I apologise for that lol. Other than that I hope you enjoy who I did write for :3

If you'd like to see any other band/musicians you'd like to see with this prompt let me know and I might write for it :3

Link to part 1

Warnings: Smut, angst, use of a safe word, rough sex, car sex, high sex, mentions of weed, if you think you won't be comfortable reading that that's fine protect yourself before reading content, if there's something you think I missed please let me know :3

You came home after a long day at work, your body was sore and all you wanted to do was curl up on the couch with your boyfriend, Cliff.

As soon as you got through the front door you were hit with a very distinct smell. Having gone through this countless times before you made your way into the living room and found Cliff on the couch watching cartoons and giggling like a little kid. His eyes were red and he had a joint in his hand.

Cliff didn’t even seem to notice you had gotten home until you were standing directly in front of him. “Oh, hey.” He said, voice cheery as he smiled up at you. You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “You want to watch with me?” You didn’t want to watch with him when he was like this, not today, but you did want to just sit with him. You let out a heavy sigh and curled up next to him on the couch, trying to ignore the stench of weed.

As the cartoons progressed you relaxed a bit. You got used to the smell and were able to tune it out in a way. Cliff was shifting uncomfortably beside you and it was getting harder to ignore. “Is something wrong?” You asked, looking up at him. Cliff shook his head. You weren’t convinced so you kept an eye on him but continued watching the movie.

“Can I see your hand?” He asked, already reaching for your hand. You didn’t understand what he was planning but figured nothing was wrong with him just holding your hand, whether he was high or not he always enjoyed toying with your fingers. You turned your attention back to the movie, though watching a bit of what he was doing. Cliff took your hand, kissed your knuckles a few times before bringing your hand down to his crotch, palming himself through his jeans with your hand.

You pulled your hand away, even going as far as to scooch further down the couch. “What the hell, Cliff?”

Cliff just chuckled, giving a small shrug. “What? C’mon, been sitting here alone all day, ‘m bored.” He mumbled, reaching for your hand again. You sighed but let him continue. You unzipped his pants and tugged them down a bit along with his boxers, just enough to have his cock spring out. He was already fully hard, the tip was bright red and leaking so you started stroking him.

This was not how you wanted to spend your time at home, the situation as is was enough to make you cry. Your eyes were tearing up as you jerked him off but you managed to keep your emotions under control, thinking you could make him cum and he’d crash. This was not the case as his hand made its way to your head, tangling in your hair and trying to push your head down to meet his member. You stopped and got off the couch. “Cliff, I don’t want to do that.” You stated, your voice wavering.

“C’mon, ‘m almost done anyway.” He reached for you again but you pulled away. “C’mon, please?” He stood up, now towering over you as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing all over your face. His hand slid down your arm before reaching your own and brought it back to his dick.

“No, Cliff, stop! I-I don’t want to.” You protested, just barely holding back your tears. Cliff just kept going, your pleas just seemed to turn him on more and it didn’t take long before he came, white spurts getting all over your clothes and the floor.

“Hah, fuck, see? Wasn’t that-” He pulled away and finally saw your tear streaked cheeks. “What’s the matter?” He asked, bringing the hand that was just around his dick to your face. You took a step back and shook your head, wiping your tears.

“I said pumpkin, why didn’t you listen?” You asked through soft sobs. Cliff stood there dumbfounded, he hadn’t even registered you were speaking, let alone that you had said your safe word.

“I didn’t hear you.” He muttered, quickly trying to get himself situated so he could comfort you. You stormed off into the bedroom, locking the door behind you.

Cliff sighed and fell back onto the couch, falling asleep almost instantly.

A few hours later Cliff woke up again and noticed the bedroom door was still closed. He managed to sleep off his high and went over to check on you but the door was still locked, he tried knocking but there was no answer. He knew he messed up and wanted to do something to make you happy, so he got his keys and a jacket and went out to retrieve some of your favourite snacks.

Cliff returned with a bag of goodies and excitedly went to the bedroom and knocked. “Y/n? I, um, I got you some snacks.” He called through the door. When there was no response he knocked again. “Hello? Oh, are you sleeping? Fuck, sorry.” He backed away but quickly turned back. “You aren’t sleeping, you can’t be sleeping, I’m not sleeping with you.” He whispered to himself and knocked again. “Y/n, love, can you open up for me, please?” He huffed when there was yet again no reply. He just started knocking on the door, not aggressively just light tapping, enough to annoy the living shit out of you.

Cliff just kept on knocking and calling out your name, he didn’t notice you coming out of the bathroom and walking up behind him. “Y/n, please! I’m so sorry, please, just talk to me!” He called. You started digging through the bag he got for you which he finally noticed and glanced down and had to do a double take to make sure he was seeing things right. “Oh, y/n!”

“How long were you knocking?” You asked, pulling out your favourite drink from the bag.

“Doesn’t matter, I got you some snacks.” Cliff smiled as he held out the bag to you. “I wanted to apologise for today, I’m so sorry that I didn’t listen to you when you wanted to stop.” You nodded along and wrapped your arms around him, pushing your face into his chest.

“I just had a really bad day and wanted cuddles.” You mumbled, voice starting to shake again. Cliff wrapped his arms around you as well, kissing the top of your head.

“We can cuddle now if you want.” You looked up at him with a smile and nodded. The two of you got into bed, holding each other close as you snacked and talked about your days, mostly you venting to him about work. He was happy to listen and make your day just a little bit better.

Jason was never the possessive type. He had his moments, for sure, but he always trusted you and there was never a time where he ever told you not to hang out with certain people or something.

You went to visit him at the studio and decided to bring him and the other guys lunch. When you got there Jason was in the recording booth, getting his bass lines down. Of course, everyone was very happy to see you, or rather the food that came with you. Jason wanted to finish up his parts before coming out for lunch so you found a stool in the corner and sat down to wait for him.

While he was in there one of the tech guys came over to you and started talking to you. Nothing much, just a bit of small talk. You didn’t see anything wrong with it but when Jason got out of the booth he was pissed. He came right over to you and stood between you and the guy, not waiting a second before smashing his lips against your. “Didn’t know you were coming down here, doll.” He muttered against your lips.

“Yeah, well, I thought it would be nice to bring you and the guys food.” You said with a smile, you could tell something was wrong but you weren’t quite sure what it was. Jason nodded and pulled you into his arms, picking you up and carrying you out of the recording room. James and Lars protested, saying he wasn’t done. They stopped when Kirk reminded them that he had actually finished his parts.

“Jase, where are we going?” You asked, giggling at his behaviour.

“Home.” He replied bluntly. “Need to remind you who the fuck you belong to.” You couldn’t deny that you were a little interested to see this side of Jason. This new dominating, possessive angle of the man you love.

Jason got you in the passenger seat of his car before going over to the driver's side. He didn’t even make it out of the parking lot before he started pulling at your pants, tugging them down your thighs. “Jason, come on, just wait till we get home.” You were still smiling and your tone was still cheery while he started to play with you.

He slapped your thigh. “Shut up, you were horny enough to go after the fucking bellboy or whatever he was.” You looked at him with a hurt expression as he tugged on your panties so hard they broke.

“Jason! These were expensive.” You whined, he didn’t care and just slid a finger over your slick folds. He kept his eyes on the road, glaring at all the passing cars and buildings while sinking a finger in you.

It started out fine, you were enjoying this version of him and the way he was making you feel. “Fuck, Jason, feels so good.” You hummed and rolled your hips against his hand, looking for more of his touch. He pulled his finger out and slapped your thigh again, this time much harsher.

“Shut the fuck up, who said you could fucking talk?” You bit your lip, staring at him a little worried. He stuck two fingers back into you but didn’t wait for you to adjust before he started pumping them in and out of you. There was a small pain but you thought you could handle it. Then he stuck another in, again he didn’t wait.

You were getting closer to home but not nearly fast enough and Jason already had four fingers stretching you out in such a painful manner. You were whining and crying for him to let up, you knew if you absolutely needed to you could use your safe word but you didn’t want to. You had been enjoying where this was going and thought he would let up soon, as soon as you got home. He didn’t.

He pulled the car into a parking lot and turned it off. “Get in the back.” He ordered and got out of the car. He stood there for a moment while you sat in the car, unsure of what to do. Jason came over to your side of the car and opened your door. “I told you to get in the back.” You started crawling between the seats to get to the back but he pulled you back. “Not that way you fucking child, c’mere.” He tugged on your arm to get you out of the car.

“What? No! I’m not going out with my fucking pants down, what if someone sees?” Your voice was a whisper as you expressed your concerns.

“There’s no one fucking here, come on.” He pulled you out of the car and got you into the backseat in a rather aggressive manner. Jason didn’t hesitate and put his fingers right back inside you. The stretch was unpleasant, the way his fingers moved didn’t feel half as good as they usually did. He took it a step further and got his whole fist in you, that’s when you had enough.

“Jason.” You squeaked. “Jason stop, it hurts.”

“Stop being a bitch and just take it, you were all over that bastard back at the studio, just wanna throw yourself at anyone, huh?” His tone and accusation along with the stretch was just all too much and tears started streaming down your cheeks as you cried.

“Please, Jason, I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-didn’t mean to I just-”

“Didn’t mean to? Fuck you mean you ‘didn’t mean to’? Didn’t mean to fuck other guys on your way over?” You shook your head, squirming underneath Jason.

“Please, Jason.” You whined.

“Please, what? Please let me fuck around? Please let me take whatever cock I want?”

“Pump-pumpkin, please, pumpkin!” You cried out. Jason stopped, pulling his hand out of you.

“Baby, what did you say?” His voice was the complete opposite as to what it just was, no longer harsh and accusatory but soft and sweet just as you were used to. “Did you say pumpkin?” He brought his hand up to your face, caressing your cheek lovingly.

“‘M sorry, I just-just couldn’t take it anymore.” You said through sobs. Jason shook his head and carefully pulled you into his lap. “No, no, don’t apologise, you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m so sorry I made you have to say that.” He held you close to his chest, kissing your forehead and cheeks. “I’m sorry I was so rough, you didn’t do anything to deserve that.”

#Metallica #metallica smut #metallica x reader #metallica fanfiction #metallica angst #metallica imagines #Cliff burton #Cliff burton angst #Cliff burton smut #cliff burton fluff #cliff burton x reader #Jason Newsted #Jason newsted x reader #Jason newsted fluff #jason newsted angst #jason newsted smut

[ganonfan1995]

Okay talking about ToTK for a hot second, THEN I gotta do some work.

The woes of WFH means I'm compelled to post at all hours of the day, and sometimes I need to indulge!!!

Personally speaking, I really loved the little details and snippets you get throughout the game, detailing Rauru and Sonia's relationship. I particularly found it interesting that they founded Hyrule, in part, through the combined effort to protect its people from monsters, long before Ganondorf rose to his position as the demon king.

I was hoping the game would elaborate on this; there was so much subtext in the depths that would insinuate that the Zonai, in their pursuit of Zonaite, opened the original chasms to hell, allowing the spirits from below to manifest above. I love that, especially with the little tidbits from the Spirit Temple and the bargainer statues; I got a very dark image of who the Zonai were and what their goals were...But subtext remained subtext, and nothing was set in stone.

I have so many lingering questions, like...What is Zonaite? Why does it grow back, and why does it only form in the depths, the place where the dead seem to roam aimlessly? What was the design intention of making Zonaite visually connect to luminous stone? Was the original myth of souls being contained in luminous an originating myth from Zonaite....ARE THERE HUMAN SOULS IN THE ZONAITE?? ARE THERE MONSTER SOULS IN THE ZONAITE?? WHY DOES THE ZONAITE ENERGY VISUALLY LOOK THE EXACT SAME AS THE SPIRITS!!! NINTENDO....PLEASE I BEG YOU!!!

WHY DID THEY BLIND THE DEITY OF THE DEPTHS AND WHY IS IT ONE IN THE SAME WITH THE HYLIA STATUES......

I'm done yelling, but you get the point.

Even if their intentions for the establishment of the kingdom were good, which I have no doubt about — Rauru is a bit of an ignorant man, but he doesn't have a greedy heart, nor is his goal one of dominance over the land. The fact remains that I still feel, in part, guilt is what drives him to see himself suited to the position of king.

From the minute you meet him and he donates his arm to Link, to the last minute you see him, sacrificing himself to seal Ganondorf away until the present. There's a guilt that runs so deeply through him as a character, that is never elaborated on.

I guess you could argue that his guilt stems from his inability to protect Sonia, the land, etc...But I feel like that guilt is older.

I feel like that guilt stems from his personal guilt he gained from his people. His shame, his embarrassment. He and his sister remain as the last standing Zonai, and we never learn why...Only that he, and his wife, a former priestess, formed a union to establish a kingdom, under the insurance that a long standing protection would be in place to safe guard it's people from monsters.

Monsters that only appeared after the chasms were opened.

Chasms which were opened to mine Zonaite.

An energy source only used to power Zonai technology.

And there was no B plot. There was no explanation. There was only that, and a game mechanic...

I've gotten to the point that I've just sort of let this be just that: a game mechanic. They only needed some shallow lore to tie in the building mechanic in to the game so we could build cars, whatever...

But it felt so unsatisfying as someone who is genuinely interested in the lore.

On the surface the game probably hit really hard to people who were more invested in Zelda and Link's relationship to one another post botw, and to their friends and The Kingdom TM...But I'm left here blinking in disbelief that they literally laid down some insane ideas only to have it tossed by the wayside.

I want context, I want history! Nintendo.....please!!! I'm begging!

Also I think they should have let Josha cook.

#not also to mention the foreshadowing and connection between the sheikah and the zonai throughout this game and the last #but like didn't touch on it at all #josha should have been the sage of spirit btw #should have taken her down there to the spirit temple and like awoken her and all that #missed opportunity tbh #tell me whyyyyy #ganonfan posts

[themostefficientwaywithwater]

I've seen a lot of people are as excited as me for a Zelda game that focus on how Ganon's constant reincarnations affects negatively to Zelda, Link and even Ganondorf. We've already seen this theme subtly in BotW (Zelda chastised for not awakening her power, Link unable to speak and enjoy himself because of how the Hero's title burdens him). However, I normally wouldn't expect "the harm the vicious cycle of reincarnation makes on it's unwitting pawns" to be the theme of a Zelda game. After all, it's Nintendo, and we know they don't like to stray so far from the "evil is bad and we must defeat it" plotline and they wouldn't dare to criticize the goddesses' plans...

Oh, wait, they already did it.

The Wind Waker is about letting go of the past and how being unable to move on will harm you and future generations. Daphnes and Ganondorf can't let go of their kingdom, and they die with it because they can't imagine themselves living without it. It harms Medli and Makar, who are taken away from their home and family and are confined into the heart of a dungeon so the Master Sword can maintain it's full power. It harms Tetra, too, who sees her whole individuality taken away in favor of performing her role as "Princess Zelda". And it harms Link, who is treated as a pawn by Daphness to do the work of the Hero of Legend, despite literally being Just A Kid (TM) who just wanted to rescue his sister.

But, despite everything, they manage to break the cycle, as Ganondorf no longer appears in other titles situated in the Adult Timeline (neither do Hyrule, or the Triforce or the Master Sword, or most classical elements of TLOZ). By killing Ganondorf, Demise's hatred could no longer persist in the world, thus breaking the eternal cycle of death and reincarnation. But how could that happen? Sure stabbing a whole man in the head usually turns to be fatal, but that's been done before and they only managed to seal him away. Why did this time work?

I think he just gave up.

He realised he would never get Hyrule, that even when everything was at his favor (the Hero gone, the Princess at his power, the Master Sword was weakened, he even managed to get the Triforce of Courage from Link!) he still lost. He gave one last fight, but he didn't even transform to Ganon (it's only appearance is as a puppet, another symbol if he being treated as a pawn by a higher power) and after Link delivers the final blow, he accepts his fate and passes away.

Even though he's been treated as the major villain in the series, he's been as much as a pawn from the gods as the multiple Heroes and Princesses from the series. He may not have been the best man before OoT, but he was a victim of his circunstances and his initial motives where to grant his people a home where they could live in peace instead of fearing death day and night, turning into thieves just to survive. But he was corromped by anger, by revenge, by malice, and he turned the perfect vessel for Demise's curse. I think that BotW's Ganon was the same but it's been so many centuries that the man he once was can not be recognised, he's more of a beast now. But I still have hope, and now that his "mummy" has awakened, maybe we could get a more humanized version of Ganondorf instead of a simple "demon of malice". The old leader of a desert tribe who just wanted to give a better life to his people, and went too far.

I find this to be very unlikely, but not impossible. While WW's Ganondorf had it easier, as he was more collected and thoughtful, there's still the possibility that Ganondorf "awakes" from its Ganon-self and shows a bit more of characterization and his motives. Who knows, we could even break the cycle in BotW-TotK's timeline if Ganondorf refuses to continue this endless cicle of destruction and give up on Hyrule's conquest (a little more optimistic that being stabbed on the head, please and with sugar on top). But we may have to pay a big price to make it. After all, the cycle was broken in WW, but a great sacrifice was necessary...

Hyrule's destruction

#legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #wind waker #this is a mess and you're right for calling me out of this #i'm very tired ok but i can't stop rotating this like some rottiserie chicken #anyways nintendo please do something with ganondorf #acknowledge he's as much of a pawn as link and zelda #don't give us another mindless monster or evil overlord #lets put an end on this endless cycle #also i know the last bit of the post is batshit crazy #it's based on that ''tears'' could refer both as teardrops and rifts #like the whole kingdom is being teared apart #idk have this #play wind waker #let go on the past and look toward the future #drink some water #bye #also excuse my language my english is poor when i'm on no sleep #which is always

[stateswscarlet]

Good morning Scarlet, I hope that you're doing amazing!

First of all, I wanted to thank you for all the amount of time you put in explaining the law to all of us and seeing all those success stories, we all know how good of a blessing you are in our life.

So, I've been working on manifesting my ex back for a few months now, more than a year actually, and it's kinda embarrassing to me. I'm naturally a visualizer and have inner convos, but when envisioning scenarios like us hugging, holding hands, and being together again (what I've always done before knowing the law and being in love with him) it feels too good to be true, even if I have a deep understanding of the law conceptually. I know part of this process involves letting go of attachment to the 3D and recognizing that my outer feelings (anxiety, fear) and thoughts (how will he change his mind, he doesn't love u anymore) don't define my true self (the inner man that is being happy and in a rs with him). However, despite this understanding, I still encounter challenges when I attempt to engage my imagination regarding these scenarios. I often feel unfulfilled or disconnected from the vision of us being together.

Furthermore, I've been feeling doubtful about all that lately. Different sources offer conflicting advice - some suggest focusing on feelings, while others emphasize decision-making. I've even studied materials from authors like Edward and watched Tom Kearin (BSW), and while I understand the concepts intellectually and have applied them before with success, I haven't seen significant movement. The only time I experienced progress was when I wholeheartedly believed in my ex's return, even if I wasn't necessarily thinking from the end (focusing on the 3D aka he is going to come back). However, now, as I try to embody the version of myself with him already, I'm starting to lose faith in the possibility of him changing his mind and coming back. Have you ever experienced a similar struggle or doubt in your manifestation journey?

I feel maybe my issue is linked to the "feeling" that I do not understand, do you have maybe some recommandations in terms of source, or YouTube channel or else ? I feel like I'll never succeed in this specific manifestation while I succeeded in others for instance my job and travels... it was so hard for me too bc for more than a year I was jobless and so focused on that, that one day I decided I am going to get a job no matter what and not thinking from the end and it happened while I didn't focused on how I felt, I wasn't like "I need to feel I'm already employed", so I am lost in all of that ..

thank you so much for the kind words!

“working on manifesting my ex back” im really hoping you only worded it like this for simplicity sake to tell me, but please stop identifying with manifesting (at all) or seeing anything as a process bc there is NO PROCESS. there is no work to be, no point A or point B, and no one is coming “back”.

the reason you feel disconnected is because you’re still dominantly believing the 3D as a fact/seeing it as unchanging/dont understand youre SHIFTING TO A DIFFERENT REALITY/STATE and not changing the current one. figure out which one. in other words, youre being accidentally 3D oriented.

“i havent seen much movement” excuse me? wym movement? eradicate that word from your loa vocabulary please theres no such thing as movement. do you HAVE IT OR NOT?

stop looking for more material. no coach or video or book can change how you feel internally if youre just looking for results and refuse to completely drop the outer man and their reasoning.

your sp isnt changing his mind, you SHIFT TO A STATE where you and them are together. the one in the current 3D is NOT the one youre in a relationship with nor will ever be, you have to fully drop that version of him.

if just deciding you have something fulfills you, then so be it. do whatever you enjoy.

[happysadyoyo]

Part two to this ficlet here (I'm linking the version where @pillowspace left art because .A. Sunnydrop and Y/N). We're continuing on the path to whump, but this is still *mostly* setup.

I might've gotten a bit over my head with writing characters I've never even read much of before so :I Hopefully I did them justice, even though it's ultimately just a tiny side plot meant to flesh out the world and characters to Y/N.

You wait until naptime before you bring up last night with Sun. You'd meant to earlier, but he'd thrown himself into his work and this didn't really seem the conversation to have with little ones around.

He's cleaning the tables from errant spills and doodles, kneeling so you can easily touch his back, right above that hook for the wire poked out. "Sorry," you say when he jolts out of surprise. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." His whispering is a little overdramatic. He probably hasn't gotten all the reprogramming done to take over naptime and is overcompensating. It's heart-achingly cute and just a little bittersweet.

You duck out of the way of his rays as he turns just enough to see you from the corner of his eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"No? Maybe." You join him in cleaning, needing something to do with your hands. "I just wanted to apologize---"

"You just did!"

"Shush." You laugh and shove at him, and he beams at you, clearly pleased with himself. "You're awful," you tease, needing a moment to return to equilibrium. "No, I'm talking about last night. I was going to finish cleaning, but that security guard woman forced me to leave."

"Oh, Vanessa?" Sun sweeps a pile of crumbs into his hand. "She called me down after you left to explain. It's all right Sunshine. We---I--- didn't mean to put extra work on you."

"It wasn't a problem!" You have to work to moderate your volume. "You're going through a lot right now. It's only fair for me to help out a little more while you adjust."

"Adjust?" And there it is, Sun's voice flattening out, even as he stands to dump his trash in the nearest can. You trail after him like a shadow. "I'm not a person Starlight. I don't need time to get used to change like a human."

"Bullshit," you say, spitting the word out with such venom even you're surprised.

Sun spins around to look at you, legs following a moment after. "No naughty language in the daycare!"

"No, it's bullshit and you know it." The cursing distresses Sun, and it's distressing you, but out of all of the loops so far, you hadn't heard him refer to himself or Moon as not a person. You poke him hard in the chest. "You're not human sure, but you're still here. And you think and you feel and Moon is important to you. Just because you can be forced to shut him out doesn't mean it's right. And it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

Sun doesn't reply, his hands curling over where you'd poked him. You don't really know how he feels things physically, but your finger aches from the force you put into it. You can hear him whirring, rays folding back as he starts to reply, but he's cut off by a child waking up and starting to cry.

"Oh dear, oh dear, whatever's the matter?" Sun brushes by you, taking the out as quickly as he could manage.

You don't get another chance to speak with him today. He sticks to the kids like glue, and as things are slowing down, he starts cleaning up.

"Sunny," you try, but he starts to shoo you towards the door. "What're you doing? I need to help get ready for tomorrow."

"Don't want you getting in trouble with Vanessa," he says, faux brightly. "And you've already done so much. I'll take it over tonight."

"Sun, it's literally part of my job description to do things." Even digging your feet in doesn't slow things down, and you can't pry his fingers off. It's not like he's hurting you, but he is so much stronger. "Let me finish cleaning up."

"Nope! You have a good night Sunshine. We'll see you again tomorrow!" He gives the smallest push as he releases you, causing you to stumble forward as the doors shut behind you.

You turn and push, only for it to already be locked. "Sun! This isn't fair!" There's no reply, just a couple of stares from stragglers leaving the pizzaplex. The place isn't even closed. Did you fuck things up that much? You drop your head against the door with a sigh, grinding your forehead into the faux wood. At least you have your cell phone on you this time.

And... oh. You have time to do some exploring without that guard, Vanessa?, getting angry with you. Or...

You scurry over to the windows looking into the daycare, trying to avoid being seen. Sun is cleaning, kind of. He keeps trying to stack some of the chairs, but his aim is off. But sure, he's totally fine. You scowl, angry and upset at his pain. If you had done things right, you could be comforting him right now.

No, no, it's not time for a pity party. If Sun can push through for the kids, you can for him and Moon. And to do that, you just have to learn how to avoid Vanessa and find the (other) trespasser. They probably start the fire. So if you catch them, you stop the fire and the loop!

And maybe you're a little salty about Vanessa kicking you out (and blinding you with her flashlight). It's fine. You're fine. You'll start with exploring the other play areas, see if there's any signs of people camping out.

✴️✴️✴️

You don't really know how you ended up in Monty Golf, let alone above it, and yet, here you are. You're not afraid of heights, per say, but the railing feels rather flimsily put together in your hands, and you're tempted to turn around and leave. There's no way in hell anyone with half a mind would be skulking around up here.

"Monty! Hey."

Bonnie's voice from below makes you jump, the catwalk swinging from the sudden movement (oh fuck this shit why did you walk so far out). You crouch, making yourself as small as possible in case the animatronics look up.

For the first time, you actually see Monty, appearing from inside his own head. Bonnie crosses through the room, careful not to damage the decor. "Roxy said I'd find you in here."

"Of course she did. What's up?"

You don't actually know Monty at all. He takes over for Bonnie as bassist, but you didn't see him much during any loop. And what little you do know is at odds with what you're hearing. He sounds. Calm?

"I heard the good news. You're finally getting your bassist claws!" There's a metallic thunk as Bonnie claps Monty on the shoulder. "I knew you could do it."

"Yeah, about that." You can barely see the two of them, mostly Bonnie since he stands out against all the green. You definitely can't see their faces, and you're not really in a position to move. "Why am I getting my claws? You're the lead bassist in the band."

"Oh!" Bonnie sounds surprised at the question. "Upper management wants to shake things up a bit, you know? Like when Roxy came on board. It turned out well for her too."

"Not so much for Foxy," Monty replies dryly. "And what about you? Are you just going to hang out in the bowling alley?"

"It wouldn't be all that terrible. I like working with the kids." Bonnie sits with Monty, and now you can't see him either. You think about crawling to the other side, but the metal of the catwalk threatens to tear open your hands. You remain stuck, thinking.

"What does Freddy think about this?" You try getting your feet under you, heart pounding in your ears.

"Oh, well!" Bonnie sounds flustered. "I've not told the others just yet. Can you keep it to yourself a little longer?"

"I'm not going to lie." You pause, stuck in an awkward crouch. That sounded more like the Monty you were familiar with, and it sent a shudder down your spine. You squeeze the guardrails more tightly.

"I'm not asking you too! I'll tell them, tell Freddy. I just. It's better if he hears it from me." Bonnie sounded scared too. No, not scared. Anxious. Raw. For the first time it hits you that this isn't a conversation you're meant to be hearing. You take a step, then another when it proved feasible. You'll give the glamrocks their alone time, and you try not to listen to the rest of the conversation, focusing on the sound of your breathing instead. It helps that they are speaking more quietly now. It's as you finally reach the other side that you pick up another snippet of the conversation.

"Take care of him for me, okay?" You turn, confused, and Monty echoes that confusion. Bonnie doesn't give an answer, standing instead. "Come see me in a couple days. I want to give you something before the big announcement."

"All right, but Bon..." Monty trails off, Bonnie already leaving. You decided that's your cue, moving to the stairs and escaping the golf course at last. The back of your shirt feels drenched, so you pull off your sweater to hug tight, waiting for the sudden drop of energy to pass. You've wasted too much time eavesdropping on a conversation that has nothing to do with your current mission, and you do need some sleep eventually. You decide to check on the daycare before figuring out how to slip past Vanessa.

You exit the maze like employee halls at party row, and for a moment you're confused. It's dark, darker than last night, and it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. You think about keeping low but if memory serves, most of the cameras here are pointed towards the private rooms and daycare. You still move as quietly as possible, making it halfway across the room when you realize.

The Daycare is dark.

"Moon?" You shake off the surprise, running to one of the windows, hands slapping against the plexi. It's too dark to see into, but you try anyway, cupping your hands around your eyes to block out the light.

There's no movement that you can see, not until the massive doors on the other side open, two figures entering. One is small, human sized, unknown. The other is unmistakeably Moon. But why had he been outside the daycare?

There's little time to wonder as the beam of a flashlight flashes across the daycare and you have to drop down. That had to be Vanessa then! What was she doing with Moon? Why is he active? Your mind is racing, but there's a more pressing need. If she's here, then the path to outside is clear. You don't want to go; you want to make sure Moon is okay and see why he left. But if you get caught, you'll get fired. Maybe jailed, but definitely banned. You'll try and ask Sun about it tomorrow.

Which makes it all the worse when you finally get home and find an email letting you know you have the next three days off.

#dca #fnaf dca #fnaf daycare attendant #daycare attendant #time loop au

[zaeliaeve]

𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮 [𝓚.𝓜] 𝟏𝟖+ Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: NSFW 18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI!

WARNINGS:  Cum kink, unprotected sex, vaginal sex.

-

In life there are two reactions to most situations; fight or flight.

Bianca almost always responded with the latter. It was simply easier to pretend nothing was happening because the moment you do self-reflection you must change, and Bianca didn't want to change yet.

Life for the first time in a long time seemed colorful again. After the death of her father, she wasn't sure when she would feel like herself again but she doesn't even necessarily feel like her old self either. This was a whole new side of life.

Suddenly there was something to look forward to, somebody who always knew the right thing to say and knew how to please her in a way that would put her on a dopamine high that would last all day. Her feelings were only growing stronger with each interaction.

It was purely selfish, but she couldn't stop.

They had to be more careful now after Kylian slept over at her house. Camille has been all over Kylian lately, constantly showing up randomly and calling the office to speak with him. Luckily she hasn't found anything because Kylian made sure to scrub his phone clean.

Even somewhat hinting that Kylian leave Camille would feel too far, after all, he does have a daughter with her and Bianca wouldn't want to ruin the young girl's life; not to mention even hinting at a breakup it could send Kylian running for the hills.

Admittedly, it would be nice to know where Kylian stood on the situation but she could never tell. The Frenchman would never even give a clue on where he stood emotionally and despite her better judgment she was a little curious and wanted to poke around a bit to gauge where he stood, maybe just for the sake of knowing.

Bianca was trying to convince herself that she truly didn't care, that she was just curious; like a cat walking on the edge of a window seal.

What has curiosity ever done to a cat?

"Oi you're in my spot you know?" A deep accented voice says standing directly in front of Bianca's desk, arms crossed.

She snaps her head up from her notebook with pure confusion only to be more confused when she realizes it's someone she's never met before. The unknown man is tall, has smooth full lips, big friendly brown eyes, and a seemingly just-cut faded haircut. 

He is undoubtedly beautiful.

This man seemed young-  too young to work there given almost all staff are past thirty besides Kylian and herself. "I'm sorry are you at the wrong place? Would you like directions?" Bianca asked earnestly, shuffling to her computer and getting ready to pull up Google Maps.

"What you think I couldn't work here?" There's now a grin on his face and his teeth are just as nice as the rest of him.

Bianca scrambled with her words trying to explain herself, somewhat off guard from the fresh face. "Of course you could. I've just never seen you around and now you wanna sit in my seat."

He pointed over to the empty chair on the far right to her with the broken computer that hasn't been used the whole time she's been there. "Actually I wanna sit in that seat" He corrected her before making his way behind the desk.

She didn't stop him, only watching as he placed his leather bag next to the dusty keyboard. "But you said-"

"I was only messing with you."

Bianca blinked unsurely at what was happening.  "I'm sorry who are you?" She finally questioned, her body fully facing him.

The man stuck his hand out and now sat in the previously empty chair.  "I'm Jude. I filled your spot while you were away and Mr. Messi liked me so much that he wanted me to stay here."

Oh, this is the guy Kylian was talking about in the car the other day. He didn't seem boring at all. In fact, quite the opposite.

"I'm Bianca" Their hands linked together, shaking up and down a few times courteously before letting go.

Her eyebrows knitted together. "Wait, I thought you were his assistant?"

Jude rubbed his hands together before he shrugged confidently. "I am, but he said if I could fix up the computer I could have my own space" he explained now turning to face the dead computer in front of him.

This isn't your own space, this is my space.

A heads-up would have been nice for the new change but Bianca wasn't too bothered by it. Slightly irritated yes, but not actually angry about it. Maybe now she would be forced to do her job a bit better, less time to slack off with someone watching her.  Especially someone the CEO seemed to have grown fond of.

Bianca didn't say much else, just went back to her notebook trying to figure out one of the higher-up's appointment schedules so she could find an opening for another client.

There was a silence that lasted about an hour while Jude messed around with the computer trying to pick it apart while Bianca did her own work. They were simply coexisting in the same place.

Jude broke the silent streak first. "I can tell you aren't from around here either" he noted as his hands still tinkered at the machine.

She wasn't sure what he meant or how he meant it, but she decided to go the playful route. "What gave it away?" Her tone was light, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

"Everyone I've met so far looks like they've seen hell with their own eyes. You look too innocent to be from here."

Bianca laughed to herself. If only he knew.

Jude didn't miss her reaction. "What's funny? Am I wrong?" His head looked left to her.

There was no right way to answer that, so it was probably best to slightly change the subject. "Where are you from?"

His eyes stayed glued to her.  "Stourbridge, England."

Bianca pouted her lower lip out and put a hand on her chest. "My condolences."

"You've been?"

"No, but it doesn't sound pleasant."

Jude's wide smile returned, and his eyes twinkled underneath the fluorescent lights. "What do they even have in your country? Coconuts?" He teased back.

She laughed hardily at that, completely forgetting about the work she was supposed to be doing. "I'll take that over your guys' food options. Beans on toast should be banned, there is no way people actually enjoy that."

Both of their chairs turned to face each other. "You know people do enjoy? Electricity. Your people wouldn't know about that I guess" Jude shot back, trying to hide his own laughter.

Bianca also tried to conceal her giggles. "Oh really? We do know about the dentist though, can you Englishmen say the same?"

Jude flashed his white teeth, wiping them with his tongue. "Don't even try to violate us like that again."

A loud ringing broke up their interaction, causing them both to jump. Bianca swiveled her chair back around and lifted the landline phone to her ear, immediately causing the annoying buzzing to stop. "JPR-Finance, this is Bianca speaking how may I assist you today?"

"It always makes me laugh when you use your customer service voice."

Bianca's heart fluttered in her chest the second she heard Kylian's voice, a warm feeling spreading in her stomach. She could feel Jude's eyes on her so she kept her composure calm and professional. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, sir. Is there anything you would like help with this afternoon?"

Kylian's eyebrows raised at her continued act. "Actually yes there is, Ms. Salazar. I've got half a pineapple pizza that I need you to come finish. Food waste is one of the world's greatest failures and it would be such a shame to contribute to it."

Bianca snickered internally. So corny but so cute.

She felt at ease when Jude went back to the computer, now able to act more like herself around Kylian. "I'll be happy to help you.

The phone was placed back into the holder before she slid out from her desk and headed to the elevators.

Bianca swallowed her food before speaking, eyes on his suit. "I have a question for you"

Kylian tapped his mouth with a napkin to wipe away the shiny residue from the pizza. He hummed shortly for her to continue speaking. "Is Camille your wife or your girlfriend?" The question caught him off guard and he coughed to regain composure.

"She's my girlfriend." He responded simply, fidgeting the napkin inside his palm.

A small wave of relief washed over her. At least they aren't married.

She accepted his answer and took another bite of the greasy bread before pressing again. "How long have you guys been together?"

Kylian breathed in slowly as he winded his shoulders, visibly uncomfortable. "I just turned 20 when we met so a little more than four years." He surprisingly seemed level-headed when answering even though out of his comfort zone.

Bianca cocked her head to the side. "But Ariella is four so Camille must have gotten pregnant quickly."

"She got pregnant only a month into our relationship. I hadn't really gotten to know her well at that point, I was just a kid. Young and dumb. I got Ari though, so I'm happy." Kylian shrugged it off, shutting the pizza box as his appetite dwindled.

She kept the conversation going, relieved to finally get some answers. "Where did you meet?"

Kylian paused in his place and looked at the ceiling trying to wrack his brain to remember the answer. "At a club, if I remember correctly. I was more wild in those days so all the memories kind of blended together. I don't like to think about it much."

Her lips pulled downwards. The entire situation seemed unfair with each new fact she discovered.

Bianca was walking on a tightrope with this conversation and she knew it, so pushing too much on the subject wasn't a smart idea but yet the nagging feeling of wanting to know more wouldn't leave.

The pizza grew cold as it stayed on the paper plate, now long forgotten. Bianca lifted her head up to look at him, adrenaline too strong to be afraid.

Against her better judgment, she asked the question that's been on her mind for some time now. "Do you really love her?"

Kylian's eyes softened and his shoulders slumped down. "Bianca," he breathed out as he stood up from his seat.

Bianca instantly regretted asking the question, cheeks burning with embarrassment and wanting to crawl into a hole to hide forever. Kylian bent down to meet her eye level in the chair before holding her face in his palms and gently kissing her.

His lips were warm and relaxed, contrasting sharply with hers who was careful and shaky as her mind swirled. After a few seconds of his touch, she eased into him and accepted when his tongue swiped across her lower lip.

Their saliva exchanged as their mouths opened for each other, salty and sweet like the food they just consumed. Kylian broke the kiss to press a few other ones to her cheeks before he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Bianca was unsure of what answer she wanted to hear but as she sat smothered in his arms, this seemed like the perfect one.

Her hands pushed on his chest to get space only enough to find his mouth again this time with more heat. Kylian grabbed her thighs lifted her from the chair swiftly and placed her on his semi-empty desk.

"You're always on my mind," Kylian says breathlessly before sucking on her neck.

Bianca's mind is fuzzy, lost in the sensation of his tongue dragging across her flesh. Kylian is growing hard quickly, subconsciously grinding against her leg for friction. She rubs his bulge with one hand, the other cradling his head as he unbuttons her shirt and then unclasps her bra.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots the large clock ticking mockingly at them. "You have a meeting in forty minutes so let's make this quick, mon beau." she reminds him before wincing at the cold air now exposed to her chest.

Kylian let out a low laugh as he pulls her skirt down. "Oui m'dame" he pecks at her lips.

Bianca hops off the desk and turns around so that she's fully bent over the desk. From behind, she hears him gasp at her straightforward action. Kylian takes time to caress her body, admiring her as if she was a sculpture; tracing over her curves with the pads of his fingertips.

His veiny hands grasp her ass, squeezing the fatty flesh before pressing his thumb over her clothed pussy. Kylian circled around the nerves through the thin cloth, smiling when he felt her warm juices spread around with his finger.

She pushed back onto his long digit, desperate for more contact as she held onto the wooden desk completely vulnerably.

Kylian found it amusing watching her squirm and wanted to drag it out for longer despite the time crunch. He yanked his hand away from her body to unzip his pants and push them down his thick thighs, tugging his boxers down next.

He could see in her body language that she felt excited at the sound of his pants falling and he almost felt bad for not instantly giving her what she wanted so badly. Kylian took his fully hard dick and dragged his across her ass, his sticky warm precum leaving small wet stains against the cotton of her underwear.

Bianca let out a whine and murmured his name incoherently, only enticing him further.

He lifted up the fabric so that his throbbing cock could slide between the skin and the material, the silhouette of his dick outlined in the cotton. He groaned at the feeling of her soft flesh rubbing against his foreskin and he shallowly thrusts.

"More Kylian" she cries, grinding her ass against him.

Kylian placed one hand on her waist and guides her while he bucks into her repeatedly, enjoying the view of her ass bouncing against him. He let out small grunts as he got lost in the moment and became focused on the enchanting sight before him, focused on his own pleasure. "Please baby" she gets out needily.

That broke him out of his trance, and Kylian having enough of his own game pulled down her underwear and eased himself into her dripping heat. "Fuck yes yes thank you" Bianca jumbled together, lust clouding her senses.

He slid into her body perfectly like a puzzle piece, sucking at the side of her neck and shuddering at how good her slippery walls felt clenching around him. "Always so tight and perfect for me," Kylian says into her ear as he picks up his pace.

Kylian pulls away to grab at her ass again, sweat forming as he pumps himself into her completely before pulling out again and repeating the steps. Bianca was a mess under him, drooling onto the surface below as his tip nudged against her most sensitive spot.  

He angled himself so he could repeatedly fuck into that spot, this time harder. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as a string of curses left her mouth incoherently. Kylian used one of his hands to fondle her breast before pulling her hair so her neck would be exposed to his lips.

Bianca was already close and he could feel it by the globs of clear liquid smearing onto his cock and her walls enclosing around him tightly. Kylian can feel his cock start to twitch at the wet warm feeling. "Merde, princess you're fucking soaking. Not gonna last long." 

Kylian lowered his hand to rub against her clit, starting off slowly and then matching his fast pace. "Ahh f-fuckkkk" she borderline screamed out, eyes screwing shut, dangerously close to her orgasm. 

" 's good. Want you to cum all over" Bianca slurred drunkenly, eyelids low.

Kylian let out a low whine. "You need my cum mon bébé?" 

She nodded quickly without a second thought.  "Yes! Want you to make a mess on me."

He was determined to make her come first, so he pounded into her and rubbed against that spot again, pushing her over the edge. Kylian almost cried at how good it felt when her sopping velvety walls spasmed around his raw cock, wanting to milk him for everything he had. Bianca chanted his name as she came, hot dribbles of her own juice running down her legs.

"Gonna paint you so pretty" he groaned out deeply, balls tight and full of his semen.

Kylian couldn't hold back any longer so he pulled out and drenched her smooth thighs in his white creamy cum, moaning as his cock spurted out an endless load. "Fuck yes! Take it all, ma chérie" He grunted out.

Bianca rubbed her thighs together to make a bigger mess, smearing the thick liquid all over her skin combined with her own juices. Kylian panted as he slowly came down, mind cloudy from how intense his orgasm was. 

Kylian turned her around on the desk so their lips could meet again, his hand rubbing against her drenched thighs so he could feel their own creation. "Beautiful," he says as he looks down.

Kylian and Bianca stood sweatily and out of breath as they came down from their highs, skin flushed and damp as proof of their actions. He pulled Bianca into his arms one last time to kiss her sloppily, she reciprocated happily but somewhat tired.

"I hate when I have to leave," Bianca says once their lips part.

Kylian brings her hand up to his mouth, leaving long kisses on each knuckle. "Don't leave then. Stay here forever with me." He sounded serious even though what he was saying was outlandish.

Oh, If only.

Bianca couldn't resist another kiss even if the time was running out before his meeting. As Kylian's fingers laced in her hair a loud knocking caused them to pull away abruptly.

"Kylian?"

The high-pitched voice made both of their stomachs drop. They froze in their places as the knocking got louder. "I know you're in there Kylian." She shrieked.

He zipped his pants up as Bianca rushed to find her underwear thrown somewhere across the room. "Camille I'm in a meeting," Kylian yelled at the door as he tried to straighten up the mess they had made.

The door handle started jiggling as Camille yanked at the metal but it was stopped by the lock. "Just let me in Kylian you're driving me crazy" Camille huffed, voice strong.

Bianca's eyes scanned around the room for places to hide but there weren't many options. Behind a plant seemed too cliche and seeing the girl face to face was definitely out of the question. It was obvious to anyone with a brain what they were doing and if anyone found out, the consequences would be disastrous.

Luckily, Kylian's grand wooden desk completely touched the floor so it was impossible to see what was on the other side unless you completely came around. Bianca set aside her dignity as she crawled on the floor and nustled herself into the dark space.

Going from letting another person inside of her to minutes later degrading herself to being someone's dirty secret as his cum dried on her skin was humiliating, to say the least; but it was completely deserved.

"Just stay quiet and we'll be fine" Kylian assured her in a whisper.

The knocking hadn't stopped, if anything only growing louder. Kylian quickly opened up a window to let out some of the humidity and sprayed old cologne from years ago that he doesn't even like anymore.

He rushed to the door and cracked it open, his body blocking her from being able to see inside. "Are you crazy? I'm in the middle of a meeting! Are you trying to get me fired?" Kylian lied easily to the upset girl.

Camille let out a shaky breath. "You make me crazy. I can't shake this gut feeling, Kylian. A woman's intuition is never wrong."

Bianca felt like she was going to throw up her head spinning and ears ringing yet she couldn't move a muscle.

"I don't have time for this Camille. You've come up here more times within the past week than you have in my whole career and all you do is cause a scene every time. I can't take it anymore" Kylian kept stern.

Camille let out an offended gasp. "I don't have any other choice. You come home smelling like a woman's perfume and you won't even look at me anymore. Every single time I talk to you, you barely respond. It's like your head is always somewhere else."

Bianca felt like she was watching a horrible car crash. An absolute wreck, but you can't look away- or in this case, stop listening.

"We can talk about it when we get home but I'm not doing this here. Leave Camille." Kylian wasn't even arguing back, seemingly just tired.

His girlfriend clearly wasn't satisfied with that answer, only fueling the fire more. "You don't even care about me! I'm sitting here pouring out my heart and you don't even give a fuck! What kind of example are you setting for Ariella? I will never let my child grow up with such a pathetic excuse of a father" Camille sobbed.

Kylian let out a sigh and softened his tone as he scratched the back of his neck. "Of course I care, I really do. I just have a lot of work that needs to get done. I promise the second I get home, we can talk about this. Go home, run a bath, and relax."

Bianca hears their clothes shift as Camille clings to his body for a hug. "I love you" she hears faintly from Camille.

"I love you too."

Suddenly it's all too much and Bianca covers her ears with her hands, hands shaking around her head as she does so. The door shuts and Kylian bends down to find Bianca with her knees to her chest and shaking from the adrenaline. "Are you okay?" He asks softly.

She doesn't say anything, only staring blankly at the floor. "Bianca" he calls to her.

Bianca's face remains the same, staring off into space.

Kylian doesn't know what to say or do so he crawls on the floor next to her and waits in silence in the dark small space, eyes carefully watching her. "I want to go home," Bianca says after some time.

"Whatever you want to do, I'll make happen. But please-" He pauses, hesitant to scare her away.

Please don't give up on me.

"-call me when you get home. I want to make sure you're okay."

Bianca stands up quietly, not saying anything else as she fixes her clothes and bolts for the door, leaving a distressed Kylian behind.

She stopped at her desk to grab her things, a preoccupied Jude looking up when he sees she came back. "You're leaving already?" He asks with surprise.

Bianca was in no mood to talk but still kept a polite tone. "Yeah, I'm not feeling well."

It wasn't a complete lie, at least.

Jude pouts his lip. "Shit, sorry to hear."

He turns his body around and scribbles down something in pen before ripping the paper and presenting it to her. "Here's my number. It gets lonely here, let's hang out sometime.."

Bianca takes the paper and shoves it deep into her pocket. "Definitely."

Hours pass as Bianca stayed nuzzled on her couch, wrapped under thick wool blankets. Her eyes are swollen from all the time spent crying, replaying the day over and over again in her head from every possible angle.

Everything was just so messy and confusing, she hated it.

Today forced her to come to the realization that even the people you dislike the most have feelings too. Is it justified in any way? Can I handle the emotional burden that comes with Kylian? Is it all worth it?

They could both lose everything, but for some reason, none of that mattered the moment she was in his presence. Everything felt so right with him. Bianca internally cursed at herself forever applying to the job in the first place. In any scenario, they would always be drawn to each other.

No matter how much she tried to fight against her feelings for him, she would always lose. Bianca imagines stepping into a time machine and stopping herself from ever leaving her country at all.

At the reminder of the silly conversation from earlier with Jude, she crawls off of the couch to find her sweater from earlier and dig out the pockets. In it was his sloppy note and she carried it with her before sitting back on the cushions and typing the numbers into her phone.

B: Hey, It's Bianca. Sorry for messaging so late, I was distracted all day. Hope you're sleeping well.

About ten minutes later her phone buzzes with a notification.

J: why would I be asleep? Sleep is for the weak yanno xx

She smiles for the first time in hours.

B: right, that's why I assumed you'd be asleep.

J: ur an actual hater

J: ur lucky ur pretty or else I'd block u rn ;P

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𝔸/ℕ:  𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘!! 𝕀'𝕧𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕕 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕤𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕠 𝕀'𝕞 𝕘𝕝𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕖 𝕁𝕦𝕕𝕖. 𝔹𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕒 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕒 𝕞𝕒𝕕𝕖-𝕦𝕡 𝕚𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕟 𝕞𝕪 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕠 𝕀 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕚𝕥!  𝔹𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕒 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖! 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕒 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕒𝕥 ℂ𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖'𝕤 𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕚𝕥. ℕ𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕖𝕥 𝕦𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠 𝕀'𝕞 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕦𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕝𝕪 𝕤𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕨𝕒𝕤𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕥 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕦𝕘𝕙. 𝕊𝕠 𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕠 𝕋ℍ𝔸ℕ𝕂 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝔽𝕆ℝ 𝔸𝕃𝕃 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼 <𝟛𝟛𝟛𝟛!!!!! 𝕀 𝕤𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕡𝕖𝕠𝕡𝕝𝕖! 𝕀𝕃𝕐𝕊𝕄!!

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