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russellsppttemplates · 7 months

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One step at a time (Charles Leclerc)

A scare pushes your family even closer and, fortunately, it all turns well

Note: english is not my first language. I've had these requests in my inbox for a really long time, and I've debated on if and how I should write them, because it is a sensitive topic that I feel huge respect about and I hope I have written it in a respectful way. In a way, this is based in stories I've heard, so I hope it is a good depiction as I'm not a doctor nor someone who has experienced this.

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

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Tw: depicts a potential pregnancy loss for the reader (mentions pain, cramping, anxiety, blood, hospitals)

"Do you have his bag, Charles?", you asked your husband, looking around Hervé's room for his cardigan, "yes, I have it here!", he said back to you from the kitchen. Charles had a full afternoon with meetings and you happened to be needed presently at your office just the day that Hervé's pre-school had an unexpected problem with the electricity and that they wouldn't be able to keep the kids for today. Luckily, Pascale had the day off from her salon, so it was only a couple of minutes of you and Charles running around like headless chickens before you realised the small issue had a solution.

"Ready to go to grand-mère, my love?", you called for your son, helping him put the soft piece on before he grabbed his backpack, "have a good day, buddy! Give grand-mère a big kiss for me, okay?", Charles noted, kissing the top of his son's head and getting up to face you, "and you too, amour, have a good day", he kisser your lips.

Grabbing your bag and Hervé's hand, you saw Charles bend down to face your bump, "and you, little one, I hope you have a good day too, no messing around, okay?", he gently caressed your small baby bump. To anyone else, you probably looked bloated, but Charles couldn't help himself anytime he was near you. After all, you were once again making one of his dreams come true and he wanted to love on you as much as he could, especially when this time around, morning sickness was more of an all day thing.

"Have a good day too, handsome. I'll see you later!", you headed out of the door first, helping your son into his car seat before safely strapping him in and getting on the driver's seat.

Arriving at Pascale's, you knocked on her door and she quickly answered it, "hello, mon petit! Are we going to have a big adventure today?", she laughed at her grandson's excitement upon seeing her, "again, thank you so much, Pascale, you're our saviour", you thanked, kissing her cheek as you bid them goodbye, "be good for grand-mère, okay my love?", you ruffled Hervé's hair, kissing his forehead and helping him inside, "Can we bake a cake?", he asked his grandmother, "That's a lovely idea! To the kitchen we go! Have a good day, chérie!", she yelled, closing the door quickly with one hand as her other hand was being pulled to the kitchen.

The workload for the day wasn't a lot compared to most days, and the morning meetings had been quite okay, and for what felt like after a really long time, you had been able to keep your food down despite the cramps you felt. After all, food barely got that far on your system, so much so that your body was unsure of what to do.

The afternoon meeting was going at a slower pace because the matters in discussion required it, "but I think this would be better for all the patients that work until five. I won't the the one for all of those appointments, and maybe I can't assure the ones until eight or nine o'clock at night, but I know Emilia prefers the later hours", you turned to her, "yes, for me personally it's easier if I get here later and leave later, my daughter's school is flexible, and my wife can pick her up", she reasoned, "so, like this, we can get to more people", one of your other colleagues smiled, writing down the ideas so you could close another topic.

You adjusted your position on the chair, hoping to find one more comfortable when you felt something on your underwear, "did you just pee yourself, Y/N?", you mumbled to yourself, excusing yourself from the meeting so you could go to the bathroom.

Reaching the stall, you untucked your shirt from your pants and pulled them down, underwear included to see a red stain. That was not good, you thought, seeing that it wasn't some small skin knick from the elasticated fabric.

Trying to stay as calm as you could, you called for Emilia, "what's up? Do you need me to unfasten your bra again? I told you your boobs grew at least two cup size- oh", she stopped as soon as she saw your trembling lip, "what's wrong?", she wondered, "I'm bleeding, it's not a lot, but I don't think this is the spotting they say. Can you take me to the hospital, please?", you murmured, accepting her hand as she helped you out of the bathroom.

"You guys carry on with the meeting, okay? I need to take Y/N to the hospital to get checked out", Emilia announced to the room, receiving a million and one questions, "let us know if you need enything, okay?", Nora, one of your older colleagues said. Unlike the most of the team, Nora was already a grandmother and almost like a mother to everyone who worked with you, and she had been the one to tell you to take a pregnancy test, and now, to catch on what was happening, "Y/N", she called for you, seeing your scared face, "everything is going to be alright, yes? You're one of the strongest women I've ever met. I know its difficult, but try not to think the worst, okay. We love you and we are here for you", she smiled reassuringly, kissing your forehead.

Seeing Emilia leave the meeting room with your phone and wallet, "I have your documentation and your phone here, let's go", she calmly said, not wanting to add to the turmoil of emotions you were already feeling.

"I'll ruin your seats", you thought out loud once you got to her car, "here! Let me put this down", Emilia thought fast, grabbing what looked like her daughter's towell, "Laura said that she doesn't like it anyway", she tried to get your mind off and distract you as you sat down and she started driving, "claims it's not sparkly enough and it doesn't match her personality. Can you believe that? A towell doesn't match the personality of a five year old!", she smiled apologetically, "are you in pain?", she questioned, "just cramps, but very small ones, they're barely there if I don't pay attention honestly", you breathed out, "it's two minutes to the hospital", she checked.

Arriving at the hospital, the emergency room was packed and you looked around in a fret, knowing that it would be a while for someone to get to you. Emilia saw someone in scrubs and that was enough for her, "sorry, excuse us, doctor! My friend here is bleeding", she yelled through the room, hoping to catch his attention, "I feel it down my pants", you gulped as the effort you had been putting on not crying long gone as tears fell on your cheeks, "I'm a nurse, let me", he encouraged you as he bent down to carry you, placing one arm under your knees and one around your back as he walked as quickly as he could into the corridor, "pregnant woman, early thirties, bleeding in what could be a potential miscarriage!", he yelled, grabbing the attention of some of his colleagues as they took a good look at your situation, one of them grabbing a wheel chair and approaching you, "Hi, we are going to take care of you two, okay? I just need your ID", she soflty said as Emilia handed it to her, "now let's go and see what is happening here", the male nurse wheeled you to the room where they kept the emergency ultrasound, "there's a lot of blood", you mentioned, not enjoying the silence despite the rush around you, "Hi, Y/N, let's see, okay? Yu know this could be a-", the doctor who had just arrived began, "A miscarriage, I know, I- I can feel that I'm bleeding a lot", you whispered, "I'm going to examine you now", she informed, working up the machine and looking at the screen, "Oh, here they are", she pointed to the screen, urging one of the nurses to use the cardiac monitor so you could hear the baby's heartbeat, "this is your baby's heartbeat, Y/N. Your baby is here", she showed you. And it triggered you to cry a little bit more, looking at Emilia as she squeezed your hand.

"Still,", the doctor noted, cleaning up the device before she made room so the nurses would help with the rest, "this could mean two things: you could've had a placental abruption, and they tend to solve on their own with bed rest, but it could also be the start of a miscarriage. Medically, we can't tell them apart until it happens, there's no medication we can give you that can help, so I'd like to keep you for observation", she stated, earning your nod as you felt the nurses help you into a clean wheelchair, ready to take you up to a room.

After cleaning and freshening up as you could, you looked at the clock and gathered that it was time to call Charles, "I've texted the team to let them know how you were doing already", Emilia said as she handed you your phone, "thanks", you mumbled, taking a deep breath before hitting the call icon so you could speak to your husband, knowing his meeting was finished by now, "Hello, amour. I was just about to call you and ask if you wanted me to pick up Hervé", your husband said on the other end of the line, "Hi, actually, you might want to put that off. When I was at work, I noticed I was bleeding in my underwear, so Emilia took me to the hospital and they're keeping me for observation. But I heard the baby's heartbeat", you said all in one go, "are you feeling good?", you heard the strained tone of Charles' voice, "yes, but, I want you here", you gulped, "I'm on my way, mon amour. I love you, okay? I'll be there in a bit", Charles said before he dialed off the call.

"I'll be here until Charles gets here", Emilia pointed as she felt you were about to brush off the whole situation and tell her to go home, "besides, Laura would probably tell me that her backpack doesn't match her personality and, quite frankly, the day is not calling for it", she attempted to make you smile, smiling too when the corners of your lips lifted a little.

You must've have fallen asleep because you woke up with Charles' lips kissing your forehead, "hey", he called gently, "I'm already going, Y/N. I hope everything works out well", Emilia smiled as she blew you kiss, closing the door behind her.

Charles pulled the chair as close to your bed as possible, sitting down and holding your hand in his, "hi", you murmured, unsure of how to begin the conversation, "I'm glad you're here".

Your husband was quick however, "of course, my love. I texted my mum and she said she doesn't mind having Hervé spend a few days with her", he began, "and how are you feeling? What happened?", he asked gently.

You were explaining what happened, from the moment you left the meeting until the doctor examined when you heard a knock on the door, the nurse and doctor that had checked you in asking if they could check on you.

"This is Charles, my husband", you introduced, seeing him shake their hands, "thank you so much for what you've done while I wasn't here", he thanked them, waiting for them to continue and explain what had happened to you so he too could hear it.

"So now we just wait?", he questioned, "yes, unfortunately we don't have any other way to deal with this situation other than bed rest", she explained, "from the scans we did earlier, it seems like it's not a big situation, but I understand your worries and doubts. This is a worrisome situation, but we are doing everything we can to make sure your baby stays safe in your uterus", she smiled, looking at the CTG machine, "your baby looks comfortable, and their heartbeat is good, very strong", she allowed you to hear the sound, knowing it usually calms the parents a little bit to hear the noise, "the bleeding seems to have stopped to", the nurse conforted, too.

Your doctor was paged for an emergency, leaving you with the nurse that had initially helped you, "I wanted to thank you for what you did to my wife, I really appreciate it", Charles said, "my wife and I also had a scare like this, so I know how it is to be on the other side. Now we have a three year old boy that resembles a storm everywhere he goes. Just take this one step at a time. By the looks of it, you should be going home tomorrow", he said, "I'm sure it will be a little better to be at home rather than here", he excused himself.

After one last check-up, your doctor didn't see the need to keep you at the hospital since things were looking up, prescribing you bed rest for the foreseeable weeks.

"Here, amour, are you comfortable like this?", he asked, arranging the pillows on the sofa, "I am, thank you", you whispered, kissing his cheek when he sat next to you, "one step at a time, okay?", you reassured, "is your mother still bringing Hervé? Or do you need to go and pick him up?", you wondered.

"Mum texted me saying she would leave in a few minutes, so any minute now", he smiled, "I've sent an email to the team, and now that there's a break, they need me a little less so hopefully I'm home more often than I am not", Charles explained, hearing a knock on the door, "must be them".

Hervé was quick to run to greet you on the sofa, "Grand-mère said you were not feeling good, mama. Can I give you a kiss?", he asked, bring weary of approaching you, "it's okay, mon ange, I'm okay. You can sit here next to me", you smiled, opening your arms so he could cuddle your side, "I told him he needed to be careful now and that he should be even more well behaved now so he could help mama get better and help papa, too", Pascale added, approaching you and kissing your forehead lovingly, "all will be well, chérie", she whispered, leaving you three.

"Mama, I made you a drawing", Hervé announced, grabbing the sheet of paper from his backpack and showing it, "it's a sun, some clouds and a rainbow. Because even when it rains, sometimes you see a rainbow", he announced happily, "That's right, my love", you cheered, feeling Charles sit next to you on the sofa, "I have you boys with me, there is no rain that is going to bring any harm", you expressed your gratitude, feeling Charles embrace you both while Hervé picked out a movie for you to watch.

Hervé walked hand in hand with his gradmother after she picked him up from pre-school, "I'm going to see my mama and my sister," he announced to anyone that they crossed on the hospital corridor, his big brother badge earning many smiles and compliments on the labour ward, "mama and papa are in that room there, but do you remember what I told you, mon petit?", Pascalr asked softly, earning a nod, "mama needs to rest, and I have to be careful with her tummy because that is where Amélie came from", he said, "And your voice?", she smiled, "quiet voice", he nodded before she knocked on the door, Charles coming to open it and greet his eldest and his mother.

Hervé curiously looked around, taking everything in and seeing you on the bed with your daughter sleeping on your chest, "Mama", he whispered, approaching you.

Charles helped him up to sit on the bed next to you without hurting you before greeting his mother, thanking her for looking after the little boy, "Hey mon petit, how are you?", you brushed his soft hair with your fingers, not receiving an answer as he was mesmerised with the little baby on your chest, "can I touch her cheek?", he asked, his little hand stretching, "of course, mon ange", you urged, seeing Charles and Pascale sit on the sofa by the window.

"Her skin is so soft", he noted, earning chuckles from everyone, "it is, very soft", Charles agreed as he watched Hervé completely mesmerised with his sister, "is she going to join us when me and papa go see the karts?", "when she's older, yes. For now we'll stick to laying on us, letting her sleep and some tummy time later".

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

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nicoline1998enilocin · 10 months

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Special treatment

PAIRING | Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.1K

SUMMARY | After being retired for 5 years, Steve asks you to join the Avengers on a mission. You ask him not to give you any special treatment, but he feels very protective over you and can't help but keep an eye on you throughout the whole mission.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning, do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Mention of kidnapping, mention of miscarriages, mentions of rape resulting in an unwanted pregnancy.

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist

''I don't know, Steve, there's a reason I've been retired for 5 years. You do remember I retired, right?'' you ask him with a scowl. ''Yeah, of course, I remember, it's not the same without you in the Compound,'' he says with a slight blush on his face. He has never quite gotten over the crush he has on you, even after you moved on from your role as an Avenger. ''But I think it's really for the best if you return for this one mission, we could use your help, Sunshine.'' You shook your head because you weren't sure if you were ready to go back into it like this. You never fully recovered from the incident that pushed you to leave. Besides, you had someone else to think about now too.

While Steve talks on, you can't help but think about the events leading up to your retirement, and why you left everyone without so much as a goodbye. You were captured by HYDRA during a mission and held captive for nearly 6 months without being able to leave your room. Due to your super soldier genes - you were born as one, unlike Bucky and Steve - they tried to breed you until they figured out a way to get more super soldiers this way. The first few months were very unsuccessful, eventually leading to a miscarriage each time. This broke you physically, mentally, and emotionally, but you kept going, fighting until they could find you, and they did. After almost 6 months, the Avengers found you, and Steve was there to save you.

It turns out that during the last insemination they did, they were indeed successful in breeding you. At that point, you were 6 weeks pregnant with your daughter, who you decided to keep even though the pregnancy wasn't wanted. You couldn't get yourself to get an abortion and wanted to give your baby a fair chance at a beautiful life. Now, your daughter was almost 5 years old, and she was the absolute best thing that has ever happened to you. However, the Avengers never even knew you were pregnant, except for Tony. He is the only one besides you who knows about her existence. He was both happy and sad at the same time, but he promised to take care of both of you for as long as necessary, and he never wavered from that promise.

''Can I think about it before I give you an answer?'' you ask him, you need to discuss this before you say yes, even though you kind of want to. ''Of course Sunshine, but we need an answer soon so you can be briefed with the rest of the Avengers. They would love to see you again too, by the way, they all miss you,'' he said in a last effort to convince you to do it. ''I'll let you know tomorrow,'' you said with a little smirk on your face. You and Steve catch up a little more before you have to go, you have to pick up your daughter from school. ''It was really good to see you again, Steve. I'll let you know tomorrow about the mission,'' you say before giving him a big hug, he squeezes you a little before letting go. ''Alright, take care Sunshine,'' he says before you get into your car and drive off.

When you're waiting for your daughter to get out of school, you decide to text Tony. You need to talk it over with someone, and he seems to be the best option right now, none of your other friends would likely understand what you're going through.

Y/N: Hi Tony, dinner at my place tonight? Need to discuss something. Also, Willow misses you and wants to see her favorite uncle!

Tony: I miss my little Willow tree as well, so I'll be there. I'll bring take-out and wine at 7.

You smile at your phone, and before you can answer him, she comes running out of school. ''Hi Willow, how was your day today? Did you have lots of fun?'' you ask her and she runs into your arms for a hug. ''Yeah, we did some math today and it was VERY hard!'' she said with a scowl on her face, which made you laugh. ''I get it, I don't like it either. Shall we go home? Uncle Tony is coming over tonight so we have to make sure the house is ready!'' As soon as you mentioned, Tony, she ran off to your car, she couldn't wait to see him, the two of them honestly have the best bond together. ''Is Uncle Tony coming for dinner?'' she asks and you nod. ''I have to make him a surprise,'' she said when she sat down in the car seat, already talking about what drawing she will make for him.

~ That same evening ~

Like clockwork, Tony rang your doorbell at exactly 7 PM, making you jump a little because you didn't know it was already time. You were wearing a simple outfit that was nice enough to welcome guests in, but not too nice since you would be lounging around the house anyways. Willow ran to the door to greet him, she's been impatiently waiting on the couch for the last 15 minutes and sprinted to the door. ''UNCLE TONY!'' she said before jumping into his arms, he put the bags of take-out on the floor before he rang the doorbell, already suspecting this would happen. ''Hey little Willow tree, how was school today?'' he said, and he blushed a little when she planted a big kiss on his cheek. ''It was not good, had to learn very difficult math today and it was no fun,'' she explained, making him laugh.

She finally let him in the door and you were getting 2 wine glasses ready as well as a cup of apple juice for Willow. ''Hi Sunshine,'' Tony said when entered the dining room, which was connected to the open kitchen. ''Hey Tony, thanks for coming over at such short notice, I hope Pepper didn't mind,'' you said with a small smile on your face. ''She's out with her girlfriends tonight, so I had the house all to myself anyways. At least now I have something fun to do!'' he said and he put the bags down. You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a much-needed hug. ''I missed you,'' you tell him, ''I really need to discuss something,''. All three of you sit down and discuss what Steve asked this afternoon.

''I think you should do it, Sunshine, I do,'' he says when you're done talking. ''Not only might it be good for you to get out of the house to do something other than your usual routine, I think it would be good for you to see everyone again, we all miss you,'' he says, a little bit of sadness visible in his eyes. ''And we could use your help during this mission, Steve wouldn't shut up about him going to ask you for the past few days, it was getting unbearable at this point,'' he mentioned which made both of you laugh loud. ''Okay, I'll do it, thank you for the advice,'' you said before lifting your glass of wine to your mouth, thinking about what it would be like to get back into the field.

~ The next day ~

Y/N: Good morning Captain, I've thought about it and made some arrangements, so I'll be coming on the mission. When do you need me to be at the Compound?

Steve: Good morning Sunshine! The briefing is at 2 this afternoon. See you then!

Y/N: I'll be there, and I'll bring pastries to make sure they'll welcome me back with open arms 😉

Steve: We will always welcome you back Sunshine, no matter what ❤️

You smile at the last text Steve sent you, even though you left without saying goodbye, you knew there would always be a place for you at the Avengers when you needed it most. In all honesty, you did miss it, the missions, the fun moments, the whole gang together, but you needed to take care of yourself first. Tony told them that they were shocked and didn't understand it, but they all respected your decision to retire right then and there. ''Gonna miss my Sunshine now,'' Steve said when he heard, and he was heartbroken, but he did stay in touch with you over the years. Even though you didn't see each other often, you always felt happy and safe in his presence.

When it's time for you to get ready for the Compound, you're looking through your wardrobe for an outfit that isn't leggings and a sweater, which is basically what you live in now. You decide on a casual outfit with Chelsea boots, ripped jeans, a beige shirt, a green cardigan, and a brown hat that matches your shoes. You put it on and instantly feel like your old self again, you haven't felt like this in a long time. You grab your purse and phone and walk to the bakery near your house to get the promised pastries. You pick up quite a variety, ending up with 4 boxes of pastries that will be without a doubt devoured before the end of the meeting. You put them in your car and make your way to the Compound, Steve made sure you could enter without a problem.

You arrive 30 minutes early, so you immediately go to the conference room to put the pastries down for now. Since there's nobody there yet you decide to see if Tony is in his office. You knock on the door and he orders you to come in. ''Are you always that grumpy to your best Avenger?'' you say with a huge smile, and when he lifts his eyes to you, his whole posture and face immediately soften. ''Sunshine, what a nice surprise! You look stunning today, what's the occasion?'' he says with a wink. ''Oh, just wanted to look good for my pastry delivery is all,'' you said with a chuckle. ''I was here earlier than planned so I decided to come by your office and see if you wanted to come down to the conference room with me, have first dibs on the pastries,'' you said and he agreed.

You make your way back down to the conference room and no one's there yet to your surprise, so you just sit down and chat with Tony a little bit. Around 1:50 PM more Avengers are coming into the room, all of them very surprised at your attendance for this briefing. You give all of them a big hug and tell each of them how much you've missed them over the last few years. When Bucky walks in, your eyes light up immediately and you almost jump into his arms. ''Hi doll,'' he whispers in your ear, before giving a soft kiss behind it. ''Not here!'' you whisper back before giving him a big hug. You and Bucky have been in a friends-with-benefits relationship for around 7 years, and it still works out great for both of you, even though you don't see each other as often as you'd like.

The last one to enter the room is Steve, the person who asked you to join the mission. ''Hey Sunshine, you look gorgeous today,'' he says before pulling you in for a hug, which you happily give back to him. ''Thank you again for doing this,'' he said with your face in his hands. ''Of course, I'm glad I can help,''. you say before sitting down, and Steve starts the briefing. ''So, as you all have noticed, Y/N is here with a special reason. I've asked her to join us on this mission, because we could use her help, it's going to be a difficult one this time,'' he said before explaining the whole mission to everyone. When the briefing is over you quickly walk out of the conference room followed by Bucky, seeing how the briefing was shorter than intended. Steve wanted to tell you something, but you were gone before he had the chance.

~ During the mission ~

''Please, be careful Y/N!'' Steve said in your earpiece, making you roll your eyes. ''Steve, how many times do you need me to tell you I didn't want any special treatment? I can take care of myself! Now please be silent, otherwise, you don't have a sniper on this roof anymore,'' you sneer at him. You told him you didn't want any special treatment, you're the best sniper the Avengers ever had, and being a former assassin also worked heavily in your favor during this one. ''Sorry...'' he said with a soft voice, making Bucky chuckle next to you. ''It's unbelievable, even after all these years he's still overly protective over you,'' he said, never losing focus on the target. ''It's sweet, but it can be a bit much sometimes,'' you say with a sigh.

The mission was successful, and you were happy to be back on the quinjet so you could get out of your tactical gear. You were done sooner than expected so you let Pepper know that you would pick up Willow from school yourself. ''Why are you changing now, Sunshine, there's more than enough time to do it back at the Compound,'' Steve asked. You didn't quite hear who it was, so you just said ''I have to pick up Willow from school,'' and suddenly you heard multiple gasps behind you. ''Who's Willow?'' Steve asked curious. ''I-, uh... Well, it's a bit of a long story, but she's my daughter. She's almost 5 now, and the reason I retired without saying goodbye,'' you said with a deep crimson color on your face. ''When I was captured, HYDRA agents raped me and impregnated me to breed more super soldiers like me, and that is why I have a beautiful daughter named Willow now,'' you explained.

''HYDRA doesn't know about her existence, Tony made sure that all the evidence about her was wiped from their systems. He's also the only one who knew about her existence, as well as the fact that I retired to give her a beautiful life,'' you say with a combination of sadness, heartbreak, and proudness at the same time. ''I've practically raised her alone these last few years, but Tony helps out financially, after that mission it was hard for me to get out of the house and get a job, so thanks to him I am a stay-at-home-mom now,'' you say with a smile, thinking about Willow and everything that led to this point. ''I didn't know, I'm so sorry that happened to you,'' Steve said with tears in his eyes, pulling you in for a tight hug. ''It's okay Captain, I've been dealing with this for the last few years and have accepted that it happened, I can live without any regrets now. And honestly, it was kind of nice to get back into the field with all of you again,'' you say with a smile on your face.

~ 2 weeks later ~

Willow's school was closed for the day due to really bad weather, so you asked Steve if you could bring her by the Compound to meet all of the Avengers. Ever since you told them you have a daughter, they have all been dying to meet her. ''Are you ready to go meet some more of mine and Uncle Tony's friends?'' you ask her and she happily nods. She was wearing a brightly colored dress with her sparkling rain boots, which she wanted to show off to everyone. ''Alright, let's go then,'' you say and you walk her to your car and strap her in the car seat. It is about a 45-minute drive to the Compound and you're glad Willow fell asleep for a quick nap, so she would have more energy when meeting all of the Avengers. When you arrived she was still asleep, but you got her out anyways, she kept sleeping in your arms.

You entered the Compound with Willow in your arms, walking to the elevator. When the ding of the elevator sounded, she woke up and was a bit confused about where she was, but quickly remembered where you were going. ''Welcome back, baby, you fell asleep! Are you feeling better now?'' you ask before moving some curls out of her face, she happily nodded. When the elevator reached the floor where the living room was, you got out, excited to see everyone. You wore heels today so everyone heard you walking towards them. ''Hi everyone!'' you said and waved at them, not being able to give hugs with Willow in your arms. ''Hi...'' Willow said with a soft, shy voice, and it made you chuckle. ''Everyone, this is Willow, my beautiful daughter,'' you said with a proud look on your face.

Everyone came up to you and Willow and introduced themselves, and just like you, she took an immediate liking to two certain super soldiers. Bucky almost melted at how cute she is, making you wonder what happened to him. ''Are you okay, Buck?'' you say chuckling, and all he can do is nod and adore your daughter. When it is time to see Steve, she immediately stretches out her arms to be held by him, and you let her. ''Hi, I'm Steve! It's nice to meet you, Willow,'' he said. ''No, you're Captain America!'' she said and it made everyone laugh uncontrollably. ''You're completely right, I AM Captain America, but my real name is Steve,'' he explained to her, she listened intently to every word he said.

When she said hello to everyone and got settled a little, you sat down on the couch to talk with everyone, telling them all about Willow and how she was growing up. They couldn't get enough of her, and by the time it was dinner time, she was exhausted and fell asleep on your lap. ''Do you want to stay for dinner?'' Steve asked, and you happily agreed, you missed the family dinners with all of them, and now that Willow was there too, it was perfect. When it was finally time to go home, Steve walked you out. ''I'm glad to have met her, she's just like you,'' he said, softly brushing her cheek. You put her in your car seat and gave Steve a big hug. ''Thank you so much for inviting me to the mission, and showing me what I missed out on,'' you say and kiss him on his cheek, making him turn deep red. ''Still not over your crush, I see,'' you tease him, leaving him behind with a pair of wide eyes and confused about how you know about his crush. You stepped into your car and drove home, waving at him and thinking back to the amazing day you both had.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #captain america

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idontdowellunderpressure · 2 years

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Garou's "Crush"

I wanted to make this little meta as soon as I read Chapter 170. Long story short, I couldn't at the time, but I can now and apparently there's some discourse going on? IDK. There's a reason I generally avoid Twitter ￣へ￣

Anyways, here's my two cents about that time Murata tried to "no-homo" Garou and, in my opinion, ended up backfiring wonderfully. Keep in mind, this is coming from an asexual, so my understanding about sexuality and romantic attraction may be skewed.

So, let's digest this panel:

In it, Bang makes the valiant attempt to bond over what he thinks is a safe subject matter. Garou's a young man, right? And what do all teenage boys have in common? Their raging hormones and crushes, obviously. Only, Garou doesn't seem all to keen to discuss this particular topic. Blabbing about the rotten morality of so-called "heroes" to some random stranger? A-okay. Admitting he has a crush to his father figure? Atrocious.

In fact, look at the facial expressions Garou's making:

Dude is looking like he's gay straight up not having a good time. He looked shocked and anxious and uncomfortable (just look at that sweat). And, yeah, the phrase "if you twist my arm" can, and frequently is, taken to be more sarcastic than genuine, Garou isn't really someone known for masking his feelings all that well. His facial expressions are vast and he always shows his genuine feelings, whether they're shock or fury or fear. (good compilation of Garou's many expressions compiled by someone more talented than me: https://the-nysh.tumblr.com/post/185831833031/garous-so-cute-and-more-like-his-age-when-his)

But he does give in and provide a name. And, honestly, his answer made everything clear to me. Like how Saitama knew Garou wasn't "Absolute Evil" despite all his bluster, I knew Garou wasn't Straight™ with this one answer.

Garou names a character. Not a real person, but a character from a show he, most likely, watched as a kid. This is like back in school when any gay kid in the closet would go "I'm not gay, I totally love Britney Spears", or maybe "No, yeah, I totally love boys, I've got a Jack Sparrow poster up in my room". You know the drill. Celebrities are a safe "crush" because they are unattainable, and you will never have to actually act on such a declaration. Fictional characters, by virtue of being -you know- NOT REAL offer even more separation. (And the reason I bring up the fictional character angle, is because Garou remembers her character from the show before her name, suggesting that he has more of an attachment to the character than the actress).

So now he's done it. He's declared a crush. He's answered the question. He's safe. Now what?

Subject Change.

The very first chance he gets, Garou shifts the topic immediately to something else. And look at that. The cockiness is back. The sweat is gone. I daresay, he looks ecstatic to be talking about literally anything other than a girl he supposedly likes.

Just look at his smile (ಥ ◡ ಥ)

And if that weren't enough. We are told exactly why Garou picked this character, this actress, of all the others at his disposal.

Okay. So, first off, that's sad. Like, major oofs here for Garou and his Mommy issues. Secondly, you mean to tell me that Garou likes this woman because she seems kind? Really? That's the main reason? Because, not to get too shippy on what is supposed to be a semi-serious sexuality analysis.........BUT, do you know who else is really kind? Someone who gives off major "familial" vibes? (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Hmmmm, I wonder if there's someone Garou's met who he's seen to be very kind and protective over his ward.

Some who, thematically, represents the strong familial love Garou has never had and, apparently, craves. Someone who is closer to his age and he might be able to relate to. Someone who, canonically, he operates on a similar wavelength with?

I dunno, just a thought ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways, thanks for playing "no-homo" Murata, but I'm afraid I'm still sitting tight on this Batarou train. Maybe next time ;)

#batarou #metal bat #garou #garou the human monster #one punch man #opm #opm webcomic #opm manga #aretheygay #theanswerwon'tsurpriseyou #anime #gay boys #yusuke murata #chapter 170 #with a dash of other chapters I don't feel like looking up

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weaselandfriends · 4 months

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Don't suppose you've seen Gen Urobuchi's recent movie on Netflix, Bubble? It has a lot of Madoka Magica DNA, because of course it does—but it's surprisingly bloodless for one of his stories. For that reason, I can't imagine you'd like it, but it occurred to me that its premise, with boys surviving out in the world while playing a competitive sport, had very similar vibes to some of the themes you've discussed regarding your upcoming Pokémon fic!

I have not seen Bubble. I'm honestly awful at watching new stuff as it comes out, though like everyone else I am currently watching Frieren (and I saw Oshi no Ko last season).

As far as Urobuchi goes, I've honestly not been too impressed by the rest of his oeuvre. What I've seen includes:

Fate/Zero: Falls off hard in the second half, though the reason for this might have more to do with being a prequel than any particular decisions Urobuchi himself made

Phantom Requiem for the Phantom: Ignore the awesome name, this is so boring, also has a terrible Dice Guy villain (I'll explain what this means); however, the ending (like the last five minutes) is strong

Psycho-Pass: Another outrageous Dice Guy villain, slow start, though it picks up near the end

Saya no Uta: I actually like this, it's good

Now what is a Dice Guy? This is a term I coined when watching the extremely bad anime Akuma no Riddle. In this anime, there is a character who barely ever interacts with the plot, but rather stays in the background, sitting in a shadowy room, from which he ostensibly exerts some puppetmaster-style control over the events unfolding. The show frequently cuts to this character as he monologues to himself about deep-sounding philosophical topics such as the nature of fate and chance, topics he emphasizes by a fixation with a pair of dice he constantly rolls. For instance, at once point he might say something like "Fate is... a roll of the dice," and then roll his dice. (I parodied this specific guy in Cockatiel x Chameleon via the company boss Harper meets near the end of the story.)

Though it's not always dice specifically that the Dice Guy plays with as he rambles about intellectual-sounding topics in the most surface-level ways imaginable, the core conceit is similar, and Urobuchi loves this type of guy to no end. Psycho-Pass's villain, for instance, is constantly monologuing about and quoting literature; Phantom Requiem for the Phantom's villain has a similar fixation with theater, likening the events of the story to performances in a play.

I hate these guys. They're insufferable. And they plague Urobuchi's work. Kyubey would probably have wound up a dice guy if the necessities of Madoka's plot structure didn't leave him only ambiguously villainous for most of the story. He does, after all, fill the role of a shadowy puppetmaster. I'm imagining a world where Kyubey's speech likening magical girls to cattle isn't a one-off moment but the core defining motif of his character, and I shiver.

While a lot of fans in the space attribute Madoka entirely to Urobuchi, I like to point out that Madoka also had an auteur director at the helm with his own distinct creative vision: Akiyuki Shinbo, the mastermind behind everything produced by Studio Shaft. I think Shinbo and Urobuchi both limited some of the other's more indulgent practices, and it is specifically in their collaboration that something as uniquely special as Madoka Magica could come about.

Anyway, I apologize for going on this diatribe/rant, but I feel bad answering a question sent to me with a simple "No," so I gave you this instead. Enjoy?

#puella magi madoka magica #madoka magica #pmmm #gen urobuchi #akiyuki shinbo #dice guy #phantom requiem for the phantom #psycho-pass #anime #akuma no riddle

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nebulacritter · 15 days

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some manga i've read

I have a LOT of manga in my room, so I thought it would be cool to tell you about some of them!

Mr. Villain's Day Off

I first heard about this series when I saw its anime trailer on YouTube. Coincidentally, I found two books of the original manga in my local Barnes and Noble, so that's why I bought them! I like this series because it's a slice-of-life parody of the sentai genre, and I also appreciate the titular character's love of pandas! I even liked how each of the heroes had backstories.

Favorite Character: Mr. Villain

X-Gender

This book was a great pick because it discusses queer topics in a respectful and informative manner. It is an autobiography about the author's experiences with their gender and sexuality, and if you're wondering what "x-gender" means, it's a Japanese term for being nonbinary.

Favorite Character: N/A

Uramichi Oniisan

Oh my god. This series is HILARIOUS. All of the main characters have a dysfunctional, but harmonious dynamic when they work together on stage. Everything Uramichi does or says makes me cry and laugh at the same time.

Favorite Character: Uramichi Omota

Heaven's Design Team

This is another series that makes me laugh, and I've seen clips of the anime before getting my hands on the manga. It reminds me of those "God creating animals" memes that were popular on Twitter back in the 2010's. It's peak edutainment, and each character has a very eccentric personality!

Favorite Characters: Venus and Yokota

Kirby Manga Mania

I decided to give this one a try, because who doesn't love Kirby? The art style is bubbly and bright, and the humor goes off the walls! I find it weird how Kirby talks normally instead of going "poyo poyo" all the time.

Favorite Characters: Kirby and King Dedede

Precarious Woman Executive Miss Black General

Yeezus, that's a long title. I picked this one out because I thought the art style looked cool. It's a story about a villainess with a crush on Totally-Not-Batman. I enjoyed the slapstick and the amazing character design.

Favorite Character: N/A

Cells at Work!

Here's another edutainment anime. The depictions of each microorganism are really cool, and I liked the scenes where the cells had to fight off against nasty viruses! It even does a good job at explaining how the body works by providing bits and bobs of information throughout the panels.

Favorite Character: N/A

Little Miss P

I've never seen a manga that talks about periods before, and I'm glad it exists. This book is relatable because I hate it when my period arrives, but I understand getting your period is normal. I'm quite fond of the messy art style, too.

Favorite Characters: N/A

Merman in My Tub

I remember cheerily reblogging and liking posts about it last year, and I still love it to this day! All of the characters have vibrant personalities, and I really like the designs of each merman. This series is light-hearted and goofy, so that's why I think it's awesome.

Favorite Characters: Agari and Echizen

I'm gonna make two more parts later on. The second one will be about cats, and the third one will be about horror.

#this manga list is pretty long #manga #anime #mr villain's day off #x-gender #uramichi oniisan #heaven's design team #kirby manga mania #miss black general #cells at work #little miss p #merman in my tub

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voraciousvore · 5 months

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The Giant (9/16)

------Chapter 9------

Chester woke up the next morning before me, as his belly was grumbling for breakfast since neither of us had eaten the previous night. I awoke to find myself cupped in his hand as he lifted me off his chest.

"Good morning," he yawned, "How are you feeling?"

I winced and rubbed my bandages. "I'm hurting a little bit. What about your head?"

Chester gingerly touched his own bandage. "It's throbbing, but I'll be alright." He nuzzled me gently with his gigantic face. "I'm just glad you're alive."

"All thanks to you for saving me." I patted the bridge of his nose with my hand. "Let's get some breakfast." Chester carried me to the kitchen and set me down on the counter while he whipped up some French toast. "Chester?"

"Hm?" Chester responded to my inquiry as he cracked some eggs.

"What do humans taste like?"

Chester raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well... each individual human tastes a little different. Some better than others I suppose. Men tend to have more of a hearty flavor, like a very high-quality cut of meat. Women are more likely to be sweeter, like a fine dessert."

"What about me? What do I taste like?"

The giant got a bit flustered at this line of questioning but still answered. "You're a perfect mix of both. Sweet and savory. Probably the best human I've ever eaten." He flushed at this remark and eyed me cagily. The color drained from my face as I realized his mouth was watering, and the look he was giving me was not entirely innocent in intentions.

"We probably shouldn't discuss this topic while I'm hungry," Chester added hurriedly, averting his eyes and turning his attention back to his cooking. I silently agreed and continued watching him without speaking. Soon enough he completed the task and piled up a mountain of food on a huge platter. Almost without thinking, he placed me on top of the stack and carried the plate to the dining room table. I felt a twinge of alarm at this development. After the horrors of the day before I wasn't ready to be eaten again, not this soon. Was he expecting me to comply with his desires? I wasn't sure.

As soon as he set the plate down, I scrambled off the mound of food and onto the safer area of the table. The giant acknowledged my action with a curt nod and cut off a piece of French toast for me to munch on. He also gave me a monstrous blueberry that was the size of a beanbag chair. Sighing in relief that I was not about to be devoured, I ate my breakfast while he dug into his meal with his usual voracity. I appreciated that he was willing to respect my wishes in spite of his carnivorous urges. Not to mention, it was mostly my fault that I had warmed up his appetite in the first place with my naïve questions. I made a mental note never to broach the subject before the giant was about to eat.

Once Chester had thoroughly cleaned his plate, we went to his study so he could get some writing done. I picked one of my new magic books to read and Chester opened it to the first page for me, then got to typing. The book was written by giant scholars who could not themselves use magic, so it was mostly secondhand information gleaned from old documents, witness accounts, and interviews with human wizards in the distant past, who may or may not have been under duress when passing along the information, with some speculation thrown in. From what I read, there were lots of different types of magic and spells. Not every human was capable of using magic, and even those who could may not be able to cast all categories of spells. The individual had to have a particular aptitude, or consume a special concoction that would grant him magical power. Additionally, a new magic user required the use of a special object such as a staff or wand to channel energy.

Essentially, most magic could be broken down into traditional elemental classifications, such as fire, lightning, water, ice, earth, wind, light, and shadow. There were other oddball categories like blood and metal as well. Even if the spell itself did not explicitly express an element, the underlying type of magic involved had some sort of elemental basis. For example, a healing spell might have light or blood magic as a base, depending on the spellcaster's aptitude.

The book contained a list of ingredients and known methods by which a human could obtain magical abilities. As I scanned through them, I noticed that many were extremely specific and wildly impractical, or were things I had never heard of: for instance, metal magic required a mysterious substance called "milk of magnesia." Interestingly enough, the power of lightning could be unlocked by getting struck with magical lightning, which had happened to me when I was transported to the Land of Giants. So, lightning may be a good choice for me to start with. Blood magic looked like another promising option, since it necessitated the human in question to drink the blood of a giant or unicorn--obviously the former was readily available, not so much the latter.

According to the text, for a novice such as myself, a magical object would still be needed for me to access my potential powers. The book provided a catalogue of materials that would suffice to craft such an object, none of which I recognized. Perhaps Chester would know. Alternatively, magical powers could manifest in circumstances when the spellcaster was under extreme duress or in a life-threatening situation. The aspiring wizard would need to practice drawing out their powers with meditation or chants beforehand. A combination of all these methods may be required for some people, if they were not naturally inclined to using magic.

Since the book was written for giants, not humans, it had pertinent information for them as well. The book sternly cautioned against eating wizards alive, since their abilities were dangerous enough to destroy a giant from the inside. Apparently in the past some scholars had theorized that giants could gain magical powers from consuming human wizards, but this belief was proven false, as no giant had ever been able to use magic, even after filling their bellies with wizards. I took some comfort in the fact that if I ever did learn to use magic, I could save myself from being digested if a giant swallowed me again, a circumstance that seemed likely given I had already been eaten twice now. I was extremely lucky to still be alive at this point.

Engrossed in my book, I failed to notice that Chester had ceased typing and was watching me read, until he gave a small cough to get my attention. I turned around and craned my head back to look up at him.

"Learn anything interesting?" he asked me with a slight tilt of his head.

"Absolutely," I answered enthusiastically. "Actually, I wanted to ask you about something on one of the previous pages over here." Chester observed as I walked over to the opposite side of the book and struggled to turn back the oversized pages. With a small smile, he reached out his giant hand and flipped to the page I wanted with minimal effort.

"Here." I pointed to the materials for crafting a magical object. "Do you know what any of these are?" Chester perused the list with a furrowed brow.

"Most of these I'm not familiar with," he admitted as he skimmed the page. "However..." He planted his finger, thick as a tree trunk, on one of the entries. "This one here. Lapis lazuli. It's a type of stone, should be pretty easy for us to get."

"Great. If I obtain that stone, I could make a necklace or bracelet with it. Then I might be able to use magic," I explained to Chester.

"Ok." He paused for a moment. "Do you want me to go to the market now to buy some? You probably shouldn't come with me though..." His face fell.

"Y-yeah, that's fine. Definitely for the best," I replied quietly. As I recalled the horrible memories of that last encounter, I couldn't stop myself from quaking uncontrollably. In response, Chester reached down and cradled me in his hands.

"Shhhh, it's okay. You're safe now. I'll protect you," the giant cooed in a soothing voice. He pressed his plush lips against me in a soft kiss. "I won't let anything happen to you." I nodded, blinking back tears. He held me against his chest for a few minutes, rocking back and forth gently. Once I calmed down, he put me back on the desk and opened another book for me to read. Then, he left the house, which felt eerily quiet without his massive form moving around. I settled in and began reading while I waited for him to come back.

I'm not sure how much time passed, because I was immersed in my books again, but I did notice that the sky was becoming soft outside and Chester still hadn't returned. The other book I had been reading went into details about specific spells, the type of magic required for their use, and how to cast them. Apparently, spells were not truly based on fancy hand movements or incantations: These devices could aid a wizard in visualizing a spell in his mind, but were not actually a part of the spell. Mostly the process involved drawing up the correct form of magic and willing it to life through force of mind. Sounded mysterious.

I decided to try some of the tips given for magical meditation. All of the books so far confirmed that force of mind or will would strengthen with focused introspection. I laid down on my back, closed my eyes, and daydreamed for a while. I must have fallen asleep because next thing I knew I heard the front door open and close. Chester walked into the study carrying a bag of fast food. Immediately I noticed he seemed off. His face was pale, he had a new bruise on his forearm, and his clothes looked ruffled.

"What happened Chester? Are you okay?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." He sounded tired. I decided not to push the issue. The giant brought his hand down and lifted me up so I was still lying flat in his palm. I looked up at him with dreamy eyes. Even when he looked disheveled, I still found him strikingly handsome. He was deep in thought and distracted, not focused on me. Rather than eating in the dining room like we usually did, Chester went to the living room and plopped down on the couch, kicking up his feet on the coffee table. He dropped me on the couch next to him and turned on the TV. He dug into the bag of fast food and stuffed a handful of greasy fries into his mouth. After handing me a piece of fry and a chunk of his burger, he wolfed down more fries and demolished the rest of the burger. I ate my food in silence and watched him with concern. While it was normal for the giant to eat aggressively, he appeared to be distressed in some way. I debated internally whether to ask him about his mood, but he was the one who spoke first.

"Jackie, why do you want to learn magic so much?"

I was not expecting this question but realized there much be some weight to it, considering his mood. I chose my words carefully but answered honestly. "Learning magic is the only way for me to get back to the human world where I belong."

"I see." There was a long pause. I searched his face high above me and to my surprise he looked dreadfully sad. Almost as if he would cry. He tried to hide it by quickly standing up and mumbling something about needing to wash the grease off his hands. He went to the kitchen and left me alone on the couch. Since I was so small compared to the furniture, I couldn't see him at all over the arm of the couch. What was he so upset about? I didn't understand.

When he came back into the room, I expected him to sit back down on the couch, but instead he turned off the TV and remained on his feet. In the darkness I wasn't able to see his expression, just his gargantuan form standing over me. He leaned down and cupped me in his hands. He took me into the bedroom, where we undressed for bed. The pale moonlight coming in through the window gave everything a soft glow. Chester laid on his side and brought me to his chest. I snuggled up to his mountainous frame, enjoying the warm softness of his giant body. He hadn't said a word but I could still tell he was upset. I decided to try talking to him once more.

"Chester, what's wrong? Talk to me."

He didn't answer right away, instead opting to hold me tighter against his chest. I felt his heart rate quicken. Finally, he spoke up. "I don't... I don't want to lose you."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed heavily. "I don't want you to leave. I'm afraid that if you go to the human realm, you won't want to come back, and I'll never see you again."

I looked up at his face. "Chester... you know I can't stay here forever."

He gazed down at me sadly. "I know. I didn't want to tell you, but I ran into that other giant at the market again. That's why I came home so late. I had to fight him off, and take a roundabout way home so he wouldn't find out where I live."

I shivered at the thought of that horrible giant. Chester sighed again. "I know it's not safe for you in the Land of Giants. I know you have a life back at home, friends and family. I have no doubts that you would be better off living with your kind. But..." He swallowed hard. "You have to understand, I was so lonely, living up here by myself in the woods all this time. And then you came along, a blessing from the sky, a tiny little woman who could fit in the palm of my hand. So sweet and kind, even forgiving me when I had a lapse in judgement and swallowed you. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I think I'm in love with you."

I stared up at Chester in shock. I had secretly harbored feelings for him, but I didn't think he would seriously consider me, an insignificant little human, as a love interest. While he had given me obvious signs of his love, I had dismissed them as wishful thinking on my part and forced down my own feelings. The idea of a human and a giant in a romantic relationship was absurd, and I had felt ashamed of myself for even entertaining it. And yet... his big heart had mirrored mine the whole time.

I jumped out of his hand and clambered up his pillow to his face. When I reached his full lips, I gave him a passionate kiss, the best I could muster despite the vast size difference between us. Even in the moonlight I could see the bloom of pink on his cheeks in response.

"Oh Chester... I love you too! More than anything! I didn't know you felt the same way," I confessed breathlessly. "You need not fear, I won't abandon you." I climbed onto the side of his face and nuzzled his cheek. "Just because I want to see my family doesn't mean I won't come back. After all, if I'm able to manifest portals I should be able to go back and forth as I please."

Chester raised his hand to his face and caressed me with his fingers. "Thank you... I feel so much better now." His eyes were glassy with tears. I curled up on his cheek, under the warmth of his hand, and petted the side of his face. With our hearts full, we fell asleep together.

Chapter 10

Chapter 1

#g/t angst #gt angst #g/t fluff #gt fluff #g/t #giant #giant/tiny #tiny #g/t writing #giant tiny #size difference #gianttiny #gentle giant #the giant

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fallowhearth · 5 months

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David Graeber and David Wengrow, The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity, 2021

This is not a review. It will probably be a bit of a ramble about my approach to reading history and thinking through why I bounced off this so many times. This is also about letting myself off the hook - I'm going to let this one remain unfinished. I don't need to finish reading it.

After I dropped out of grad school (highly recommended), it took me a good few years to be able to stomach picking up a history book again. But, I do really enjoy the discipline. There's a reason I wanted to do it as a career. I eventually found a way back in - from YouTube video essays, to a few podcasts, to reading history from outside my field. I had the most success with ancient/pre-modern histories; obligatory Tides of History plug as I've loved all the deep dives into genetic history and archaeology (and gotten quite a few great book recommendations). I don't have any particular knowledge in these fields, I don't have the language skills or context to interpret sources myself, I've never even taken an ancient history course. So reading these I have no option but to basically rely on the expertise of the historian, to see what they say about various topics and about each other. It's the opportunity to read history like a layperson, and hey, it's pretty interesting!

On the one hand, Dawn is engagingly written - I'd call it kind of magazine style? - and tells a compelling story. But, the whole time I'm wondering, but is any of it true?

My impulse when reading something from within my area of academic expertise is to go and take a look at some of the sources myself. It's always a useful sense-check; it's due diligence. History is by its nature kind of subjective. Historians don't just deal in lonely facts (to paraphrase someone whose name escapes me), but in interpretation and argumentation. Everything has been passed through several human filters before a historian even looks at it. So, in a room full of historians you respect, you can have a lively, contentious discussion where no two people have quite the same reading of the source. There's a skill you pick up after a while - you get a sense for the range of defensible interpretations of a particular piece of evidence. You'll feel more affinity for part of that range, based on the things you believe about how the world works, your particular axe to grind, other things you've read, niche academic beef, etc.

I'm confident I've read at least a few of the sources Dawn uses, and I've definitely read within adjacent bodies of sources. So, I have an incredibly strong need to go and take a look at the specific things they're basing their argument on. I trust my own judgement; I want to establish that range of defensible interpretations, I want to see what readings I'd pull out first, I want to see what the distance is between Dawn's point on that range and mine. The problem is that I can't. Even if I wanted to dive back into the archive, I literally don't have any of the institutional accesses that would allow me to. Also I really don't want to. So I'm constantly feeling this itch I can't scratch at the back of my mind while reading Graeber and Wengrow's work.

The broad version of Dawn's thesis is something like: 'humans have experimented with diverse ways to live and organise their societies across space and time, in ways that are not accommodated by the teleological models developed within the colonial context'. I'd say, yeah, I pretty much agree with that! (In fact it's a thesis I'd love to nail to the doors of many popular history writers.) But I get the same sense reading Dawn as I did reading various provocative works of global history (many of which I really like): the broad thesis is generally defensible, but it falls apart on the page-to-page level. Of course I can't actually confirm this since, well, I haven't done my due diligence!

#entering the grad school trauma zone for the sake of posting #anyway I'm open to suggestions for my next attempt at reading #though I think Weavers Scribes and Kings has been on my list for a while

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a-colorless-fighter · 8 months

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IMPORTANT UPDATE (PLEASE READ)

Hello readers, I know you were hoping this update would be a third chapter, and are wondering why I last updated in a LOOONG time, so I'm here to explain that.

PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY, I KNOW IT'S LONG BUT IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!

TW: Discussion of real, life-threatening injuries and death

Over two months ago, I woke up to my dad frantically trying to call me and my mom with a text saying "CODE RED! EVERYONE PICK UP YOUR PHONES NOW! AND ANSWER MY PHONE CALL!"

My mom's phone was dead and my younger brother's phone wasn't working, so we called my dad back on my phone, put him on speaker, and braced ourselves for terrible news.

We were informed that my older brother, whom I will call James (Not his real name), had a 6-minute seizure and is currently in an ambulance being sent to the hospital.

6 minutes is classified as a severe seizure.

It happened out of nowhere, he was just playing soccer with his buddies when suddenly he got the worst headache ever to the point of crying. He walked over to my dad and then suddenly started seizing.

We found out he had a knot of veins in the center of his brain that bursted.

He had a brain bleed, they had a tube in the top of his head to drain some of the blood, and they had to take out part of his skull to allow the swelling to not cause any more brain damage from pressure.

I don't want to get into too much detail about the two months he was in the hospital, but it was the scariest thing I've gone through.

I was constantly worried he was going to die.

And even if he would be alive in the end, there is a high chance he wouldn't be the same.

The reason this connects to why I was unable to work on this fanfic is because my fanfic is about that topic, it's about a character (Leo) having a brain injury, and not being the same person anymore.

Even simply thinking about this project put me in a depressive state.

The good news is that James is alive, He is ok. And you guys do not need to worry about him at all.

We had a lot of miracles happen and I am more than happy to say that he is still the brother I knew before this happened. He has recovered remarkably fast and well since he is young and healthy.

He is EXTREMELY lucky to ONLY have a few vision problems and just be a little weaker on his left side, he is taking PT (Physical therapy) and luckily the doctors said he won't get any worse, whether or not he will fully heal, we don't know.

But I don't care I don't care that he has vision problems and is weaker on his left side,

HE IS FUCKING ALIVE!!!

and that's all I care about.

If this happened to him literally ANY other time, he would have been dead. if he was in his room alone, he would have been dead, if it was nighttime, he would have been dead. But luckily he was in an area where a lot of people were watching him, and there were people there to help carry him to a safe place to wait for an ambulance.

I've had a LOT of time to hang out with him and mentally recover from what happened.

And I've decided... I still want to continue this Fanfiction.

It doesn't pain me to work on this at all anymore because I know my brother is ok. If anything, this work can be used as a way to vent my emotions from the incident. I can't change the fact this happened, but I can try to look on the bright side of it. I mean- Having this experience will probably make my writing better, at least for Leo's brother's side of the story. I understand how they feel on such a deep level and want to keep writing this because it's a healthy way to vent emotions.

I do want to take a moment and thank you for all of your guys' support. I read EVERY SINGLE COMMENT and it makes me SO happy to read about what you think of my work. I cannot express how much it boosts my motivation and mood when I read a new comment. I have a LOT planned for this series and I want to continue it and make it better than before!

Also, IDK if anyone noticed, but NAME CHANGE! I'm going by "UnknownStripes" now on AO3, (which is actually a reference to future events in this series *wink *wink...)

ALSO! EXCITING NEWS! I have been re-writing the previous two chapters! I noticed a LOT of mistakes and parts that frustrated me, so I will be re-writing them. The same stuff will play out, it's just going to be written better with some dialogue changes, plot-hole fixes, AND CHANGE THE FUCKING WEAPONS THE EPF USE TO TRY TO CAPTURE THE TURTLES LIKE WTF WAS I THINKING?!!!!???? WHY THE HELL ARE THEY USING ACTUAL FUCKING BULLETS TO TRY TO CAPTURE DONNIE AND LEO WHEN THEY WANT THEM ALIVE?!! HOW THE FUCK DO DONNIE AND LEO JUST GET FUCKING SHOT AND THEN BRUSH IT OFF LIKE ITS NOTHING LIKE- BRO- AHHHHHVBSDBVOSNONCOIWBVONKSZNV!!!!! So yeah, I'll be fixing that. But having them use tranquilizer darts would affect how I wanted the scene to play out so I've been stuck on that, but I FINALLY FOUND A PLOT-HOLE FILLER!! WHOOOOOO!!! So you'll just have to wait and see!!! I'm actually almost done re-writing the first two chapters! I worked on it a LOT BEFORE the incident with James went down. I just have a few more things to edit and then they will be ready to post! As for the third chapter... I am about 1/3 done. Idk when I'll be able to post it but I will be working on it a lot in my free time! You guys deserve it for having to wait so long, but I also want it to be good, so I ain't gonna rush it.

ALSO! I am an artist, You may have noticed the cover art I made and added to the first chapter. I'm happy to announce that I will be adding MORE ARTWORK to the chapters to help with visualization, and to give my lovely readers something pleasant to look at. I will also be posting the artwork much earlier on the Official ACF Tumblr, along with extra sketches that aren't going to be used in the actual chapters. I also want to give more frequent updates there too, plus I am open to asking questions and doing polls! So if you want to see any of that, GO FOLLOW THE TUMBLR PAGE! (AKA THIS TUMPLE PAGE IF YOU ARE READING THE TUMBLR VERSION OF THIS UPDATE)

I'll make an announcement like this when I post the re-written first two chapters,

Love you all SM! <3

-UnknownStripes

A Colorless Fighter - Chapter 4 - UnknownStripes - Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018) [Archive of Our Own]

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emotionalillusions · 2 months

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All the pretty asks. Mwahahahahaha!!!

As you requested, here are all of them <3 ...even if you only asked for payback lol

angel; is there anyone you’d do anything for? Yes, a small few.

galaxy; what fascinates you? A great many things inspire my fascination, first I am intensely fascinated with you @mishaps-and-mixtapes , otherwise in general I'd say history, traveling, the universe, books, the human mind, relationships, Ayurveda, writing, parenting.

melody; favorite artists? I have a lot of favs, a list thats far too long to put here. I will answer who I've been listening to most in the last month or two - Ella Mai, Kehlani, H.E.R., Erick the Architect, Mahalia, 6Lack, Banks, DaniLeigh, J Cole, Sade

silk; what outfit makes you feel confident? A pretty dress usually ups the confidence level but I can also feel great in a pair of jeans that hug my curves and a tank top. Ooh, also lingerie! Nothing says confidence like a lace chemise or corset and garter belt.

rose; favorite flower? Lilies, sunflowers, and daisies. And cherry blossoms.

sun; favorite season Autumn, but Spring is a close second.

film; favorite movie/tv show? This topic/question requires a few blunts and an overnight discussion. I can't even narrow it down.

gorgeous; what do you like in a person? Everything that you are.

diamond; favorite color? Purple, teal, mauve

infatuation; first crush? Oh, can I even remember the first crush? I'm pretty sure it was in elementary school, I don't even remember the kids name, but I remember he was funny and made me laugh.

dream; how long do you sleep on average? hahahahahaha. Oh, is this a serious question??? I get a few hours whenever my eyes refuse to stay open any longer.

brilliant; what celebrity do people say you look like? Um, no one has ever really said I look like a celebrity.

perfume; favorite scent? You, yes you are definitely my favorite scent.

fleece; have any pets? A little scrapper kitten, who is as adorable as he is mean.

pigment; what color is your hair naturally? if you could dye it any color which one would you choose? Naturally dark brown. I've had my hair a ton of different colors. I really like a dark red or purple.

charcoal; do you have a good relationship with your parents? Its always been kind of complicated as both my parents have issues with substance abuse, but I was really close with my mom before she passed. I don't have a bad relationship with my dad currently but he's not a reliable person and not someone I turn to during times of need. He is great for helping with some bigger home related projects when he's around.

ocean; do you take a yearly vacation? I've been trying to make it a tradition to go somewhere once a year, and the last couple years I've made it happen.

murky; biggest fear? Something devastating happening to any of the kids. Death in general, even knowing it's an inevitable part of life.

devotion; are you taken? Answered but I'll answer again. I belong completely to @mishaps-and-mixtapes

lingerie; what do you wear to bed? Depends on the night, but typically very little, tank and panties.

daydream; best memory? In the delivery rooms when they put the baby in my arms and get to see their sweet faces for the first time.

joy; best feeling you’ve ever experienced? Love and understanding. I've only truly felt that in a relationship with you. It's beyond comparable.

masque; what’s your skincare routine? I wash my face lol. I've gotten better about using moisturizer and sunscreen since moving to a desert area. Holy dry skin batman.

valentine; best gift you’ve ever received? I appreciate a thoughtful gift, but they aren't my love language. I'd rather make memories than have something material I think.

parchment; favorite book? I can't pick one favorite. The best book I read in the last year was A Gentleman in Moscow.

garden; do you have a garden? plants? A lot of plants. I'd love a garden, to grow my own fruits and vegetables. Oooh, a greenhouse!

oasis; dream destination? Ah, many! Petra, Tibet, Japan, Rome, Bali...

sense; best subject? favorite subject? I was always good at Math and English, but I love Psychology & Philosophy

footprints; do you want kids? There's a few running around and want more with you, let's practice making them.

rainbow; what’s your sexuality? Straight, with a sprinkle of bicurious.

sweater; do you prefer loose or baggy clothes? Isn't loose and baggy the same thing?

nail laquer; punk or pastel? I swing both ways.

1975; if you could time travel to any time period, what would it be and why? Hm. Maybe the Renaissance period in Florence Italy for the appeal of the cultural and intellectual richness with figures like Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo and Galileo.

tattoos; do you have/want and tattoos and piercings? I have a lot of tattoos, I stopped counting after getting to double digits. I also used to have more piercings. I'd love to have them redone and intend to.

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bluebudgie · 1 year

Text

Snatching this character ask game to answer it in its entirety bc I'm currently sick in bed and this sounds like good distraction.

Here's your chance to read some lab rat character snippets.

Answering for Lahpp bc the brainworms got me bad the last 2 years.

A. What nicknames do they get called?

None, really. Unless employee numbers count as nicknames. I've made a joking comment about how Petthri would start calling him Gecko for absolutely no logical reason other than me being amused that the man's voice claim actor played a character with that name in a super niche musical. This isn't canon. But it makes listening to relevant songs funny.

B. Describe their family dynamic.

Non-existant. Didn't even have an official legal guardian until Rata Sum authorities required related paperwork for school stuff. There was the subkrewe that handled surveillance of his 'progress' and the head of the project was sort of 'in charge' of him but whatever relationship they had was nothing remotely comparable to a family. I think to this day he's got the hardest time wrapping his head around the concept of family relationships, other than of course the purely biological explanation.

C. What’s their weirdest habit or quirk?

Does consuming more coffee than anyone feasibly should count? I'm not even sure this man drinks anything else. Probably, but seriously unsure. Just don't question it, it hasn't killed him yet.

D. What was their high school college experience like?

This is one of those "20k essay; 1000 different amv scenarios" topics. In short: difficult, exhausting, but not as bad as it could have been.

On a social level he always felt like the odd one out and didn't have much contact to the other students, but he was never actively disliked or anything of the sort. Him being generally rather distant and observant probably intimidated a few people, as well as him being Inquest. Group projects went smoothly though, and interactions were superficially friendly. Just comparatively rare.

Work-wise he had to put in so much more effort than many others because of his disabilities, all while trying to be as stealthy as possible about it so noone would notice. He excelled in many challenges, didn't manage to hide all of it however; some things he simply couldn't do. Uncomfortable for him.

He was a really good student overall.

Also as a side anecdote, he got the typical "can you speak up please" a lot even though he was a front row regular. Soft-spoken guy.

E. What is their love language?

He's the "invite someone to go out for dinner" type. Spend some good quality time. He might get invested in the relevant person's interests too. Ask about them, enable some rambling, or ideally an interesting discussion.

F. How do they handle conflict?

That depends entirely on the kind of coflict and who or what is involved. Can range from "take the lead and try to find the most efficient solution" to "remove himself from the situation and just not deal with it at all".

G. What’s their greatest talent?

Developed mad acting & pokerface skills. He can smile through the most annoying social situations and you wouldn't guess he hates every single second of it. If he actively wants to give you that impression, that is. Sometimes he just doesn't bother.

H. Where is their favourite place to be?

Not sure if he has a consciously picked favourite place but he's comfortable enough in the small studio room connected to his lab. Made it a decently livable place. It's tiny (very tiny) but that's fine, he doesn't need much space. It's a place of peace and quiet, and that's what matters.

I. What makes them feel safe?

Good question! Next question.

J. What is their greatest weakness?

He's a coward who resigned himself to a life in a corrupt, hateful, criminal system. He was target of that very same system's bigotry for ages but he turns a blind eye on it out of fear and a lack of willingness to change anything. He's content being a simple cog in the machine, not caring about what its greater purpose is. is this what Camus calls philosophical suicide

Maybe one day he'll overcome the cowardice to face some difficult truths. Probably not.

K. What is their greatest strength?

If he says he'll get shit done, he gets it done. He's got an incredible amount of perseverance.

Especially in his teenage years this often meant choosing the path of more resistance simply to spite the people who would assume he wouldn't manage certain things. Even if those people would never actually know. He had to at least prove it to himself under the guise of acting out of spite. Is that even a strength anymore or actually a flaw? A strength born from flawed thinking?

L. What is their secrets to happiness?

Don't have anything change, find comfort in living the convenient lie. The illusion of happiness is good enough.

M. How do they handle competition?

If it's the kind of "who wins the monthly nonfatal pool by putting the most life subjects in a vegetative state" small-ego-competition then he simply doesn't care. Not because he has any moral issues with it but because he think it's a waste of time and just distracts from the actual tasks at hand.

If it's "the events in Cantha have put you in a physical and mental state that prevents you from working; and staying away on sick leave for a prolongued amount of time will eventually get you replaced despite decades of dedication" sort of competition then he doesn't handle it well at all. And he doesn't even believe anyone else could do his job better than him. Somehow that actually makes it worse.

N. What are their hidden talents?

Music. Got curious about the general topic in college. And in true spiteful (big fat disclaimer: asshole statement) "Oh you're severely HoH so this is clearly not for you" fashion, he decided this is exactly for him to get invested in. He got really into the theory part especially but also picked up an instrument (undecided which one. the decision has been haunting me for months.) to play.

Later when he met Luqqah they found out it's an interest they have in common so they spent a lot of time just either discussing or analyzing theoretical concepts or actually making some music. Luqqah taught him how to sing over the years! It's something he had wanted to learn well before he met her but very much lacked the confidence to start on his own.

He hasn't lost that passion over all these years, even if he didn't get to share it with anyone in a while. Post-EoD music trio incoming?

O. What motivates them?

In the past: Mostly fear with a good portion of spite.

Now: Mostly habit. Some underlying fears.

P. What advice would they give to their younger self?

If he could look past his own facade he'd likely tell his younger self to keep kindling at least a bit of that spiteful fire he had.

He does sometimes feel like he's lacking more "bite" the older he gets.

Q. Do they have a signature look or fashion?

Always got that eye piece on covering his left eye. You'll not encounter him without it. If you do, something's either wrong or you've somehow invaded into private space.

He spends the majority of his time working which means the majority of the time you'll find him in a labcoat. He also keeps his hair tied up for practical reasons.

His "casual" outfits are still surprisingly formal looking. He wants to leave a decent impression, you know. I'm awful at describing clothes so I'll skip this one until I one day inevitable draw it, but he's big on waistcoats and likes different shades of brown.

R. How tall are they?

Listen friends I'm really bad at understanding the gw2 race heights and putting them in perspective, but I assigned him a confident 98 cm (3'2") which in my world view is somewhere in the average middle. Not super short, not tall.

S. What’s their relationship like with their parents?

Somewhat answered in the family dynamics question. As for his biological parents, he never knew them. His -on paper- legal guardian wasn't much of a parental figure. Did it fuck him up growing up without any real guiding figure to look up to? Sure. Did it take time for him to understand that this is not the normal experience every child has? Unsure if he actually ever fully understood. Rationally he does, but emotionally this is a different matter.

T. What are their favourite foods?

He's really gotten into wasabi.

U. What do they like to do in their spare time?

See the music answer. Also reading an interesting book in a quiet environment is always a good pastime.

V. What’s their biggest pet peeve?

So he's generally really good at keeping his cool but he's got absolutely zero (0) patience for several people talking over each other in the same time. There's a reason he demanded his own lab space when everyone moved over to the CoE.

W. What’s their favourite sport?

If dancing is considered a sport (I believe it is?) Petthri might eventually get him to be interested enough as a spectactor. Let that be a future arc.

Otherwise literally no interest in any at all.

X. What’s their biggest fear?

Death. And I don't mean it in a 'most people find thinking about their own mortality uncomfortable' way, I mean it in a seriously phobic way. It keeps him up at night. He's had numerous seriously bad panic attacks over it. Based important decisions on it.

There was a time of his life it got somewhat better but it's catching up to him again recently.

Y. What physical object do they value most?

Whatever omious instrument I'll decide on that he owns will probably be valuable to him. I have no idea otherwise.

Z. What’s their relationship status?

Officially single (and it will stay that way). Unofficially complicated.

For the really curious: I suppose their current relationship is best described as "friends with benefits". No they have not kissed yet. I'm gonna first have to figure out when and how and why and if at all and

That said I have this shitpost scene-that'll-never-happen in my head of Luqqah meeting Lahpp and Petthri during the whole EoD disaster and in a moment of quiet she and Lahpp sit together. And she looks him in the eyes and goes "So are you two boyfriends?" And before he can even try to defend himself she continues "You break up with me because you figure out you're gay. And then you're gay for that?" Poor Petthri.

#hope u dont mind me stealing this from your blog oz #as far as i understood you wanted to answer it completely too rather than get any asks for it?#should probably link this in the rats about page #budgie plays gw2

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cor-ardens-archive · 2 years

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A Little Life is always going to be a contentious topic I think, because it revolves very subjectively on a topic people tend to feel has only a certain frame that it can be spoken about in. Like that previous anon I've dealt with suicidal thoughts for a good decade at least and, other criticism aside, the perspective of A Little Life was incredibly cathartic to me, personally. Suicide is upsetting, still a writer should have the freedom to express a bleak point of view and if a reader exists that finds solace in it, then that also deserves respect from others for whom the book has a personal negative net worth. It's not being forced upon people to read after all. And your thoughts on it have been nothing but respectful and nuanced, Mari. And interesting to engage with.

absolutely, and i understand where people are coming from when they find the book repulsive. at one point i threw it across my room, and took weeks to pick it up again. but like you said, writers should have the freedom to express a bleak point of view, and i really don't like the way yanagihara is treated by a large number of people on tumblr. and it's really exhausting how even mentioning her name leads to such long discussions.

thank you for the message, and for sharing that ❤

#❤#suicide cw

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oswaldsleftbicep · 2 years

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Hello and a wonderful day,

I don't know why I am so cruel today but could you do a scenario where Mc breaks up with the brothers but just as a prank. I am just- curious and a rather good mood today🤷🏻‍♀️

the brothers + a gn!so who brings up ending their relationship

this is so mean,,,, i kinda love it >:) fr tho please don't do this to your real partners, it's cruel. i did end up changing this just a little bit cuz i personally think breaking up with someone as a joke is too much, so this is more like the reader brings up the idea of ending their relationship with the boys. so it's not really a prank, more like a very serious conversation that wasn't made to be taken all that serious? idk you'll see

genre: angst, hurt/comfort

cw: break up talks, arguments and confrontations, written portions, spoilers for levy's route, very long

Lucia

❧ you've been in nightmare for well over a year at this point and you're very happy with your decision to stay

❧ lucia got a little insecure the first few months after the red moon, worrying about if you were really ok with living in a completely foreign world, ok with him, but after reassurance from you he was able to see how happy you are

❧ and life was great with the two of you, you got along great and supported each other through everything

❧ however, there was one dinner party you and lucia attended that was hosted by a very close family friend, and she knew about your situation and what you gave up to stay with lucia

❧ she had asked you the rude question, "do you ever wonder what your life could have been if you just returned home? or have you ever wondered if lucia truly was the one and if you made a grave mistake? surely a month was too soon to decide these important things..."

❧ this made the two of you freeze up a bit; this was hardly a topic you discussed anymore, except maybe after a really bad dream or if you were incredibly homesick

❧ you were quick to laugh it off, although it was an uncomfortable laugh, explaining to the woman how you were quite sure about your decision and have no regrets whatsoever, reaffirming how lucia was the one and only person for you, in this world or your previous one

❧ something about your tone made her change subjects quickly, but that whole interaction was stuck on repeat in lucia's head for the next few days

❧ it was stuck in your head, too, but for different reasons

❧ lucia was starting to get that insecure and doubtful feeling he had when this all started; you on the other hand were just caught up in the what ifs

❧ so one night a few days after the dinner, you and lucia are getting ready for bed when you start the dreaded conversation

"hey, babe, can i talk to you about something?" you ask him

he hesitates for a half second before responding, "of course, anything."

you fiddle with the end of your night shirt for a bit, thinking about how to bring this up delicately. "well, i've been thinking about what that friend of yours was saying at the dinner a few days ago," you swallow before continuing, "what if i really did make a mistake?"

lucia feels his heart drop at that statement; you've finally voiced what he's been fearing deep down for all these months. his mind is racing, yet he can't seem to think of something, anything to say in response. he cautiously takes a seat on the bed next to where you're leaning up against a pile of pillows, "well, uhm... do you feel like you made a mistake?"

he holds his breath waiting for your response. your fingers have moved to picking at a loose thread on the duvet cover as you think deeply about what you feel.

"i don't think so? i mean, i do wonder what my life could have been if i went back, and," you take a quick breath and finish your sentence quietly, "sometimes i wonder if you were the right choice for me."

the room itself feels like it's holding its breath. everything is dead quiet while lucia processes what he's just heard come from the mouth of the love of his life.

"do you," he begins, but hesitates to continue, "do you think you made a mistake being with me?"

you whip your head toward him, looking at him shocked at what he's just asked. you try to tell him you don't think that in the slightest, but he just cuts you off.

"would you have rather chosen someone else? or have you just gotten tired of me by now?" his accusations hurt you, but nothing hurts more than seeing his state right now. you've never seen him look so insecure, tears beginning to pour down his face, he's hunched over, hands running through his hair leaving it a wild mess, his breathing is picking up and you're worried he's going to have a complete breakdown if you don't stop this soon.

"lucia, wait, that's not what i-" you begin, but he's quick to cut you off again.

"don't tell me it's one of the angels. you know what they're like, how could you fall for one of them?"

"lucia, listen!" you yell over him, finally getting him to stop talking as he looks at you with wide eyes. "enough of this, please! it's not like that, not in the slightest. why would you think these things?"

"you said you weren't sure about me, about us! how else was i supposed to take that?" he responds, raising his voice slightly. he's quiet for a few seconds as he catches his breath, then he asks in a quiet voice, "do you want to break up with me?"

you look at him shocked for a moment; you've never seen him like this. sure you've been there at some of his lowest points, but right now he appears more like a little kid than a future king. he's looking at you with wide, cautious eyes, head down slightly and shoulders up as if he's ready to duck and cover, face stained with tears and eyes red and puffy from his sobbing.

he takes your silence as a yes and it feels like the floor just came out from under him, like he could collapse at any second. all of his doubts in regards to your relationship were always about him and if he was the right choice for you. you are his whole world, nothing would be right without you, and to hear you turn his doubts into reality makes him want to give up on everything, right then and there.

"you dummy," you say to him in a soft tone, moving from your spot to wrap your arms around his sunken shoulders, holding him tight against you. "you are the most important person to me, why would i ever give that up? i didn't back then, and i wouldn't now. not for anything."

he lets your words sink in, and after a few seconds he turns to face you and hugs you back twice as hard. he buries his face into the crook of your neck and sobs, begging you not to leave him, to never do that to him again. you hold him close to you, running your hand through his hair and comforting him.

❧ so yeah his mind jumps to the idea that you would be having second thoughts about staying with him in nightmare, or even that you'd regret being with him in general

❧ when he gets insecure like that he jumps to conclusions, and when he bottles things up he's prone to breaking down, especially if it's an important matter

❧ you spend the rest of the night consoling him until he falls asleep; you'll save the rest of the conversation for the morning

Levy

❧ you already know how i'm gonna start this lmao

❧ so the two of you were reading next to each other, all comfy in your chairs and lost in a good story

❧ and it just so happens that in your book, two characters go through a pretty nasty break up with one another and it got you thinking a little bit

❧ your mind went back to any break ups you've previously gone through, whether it was with a partner or a close friend, whether it happened to you or you had to help someone get through one

❧ as someone who's been dumped two and a half times, it's not fun lol

❧ and naturally your mind started to drift toward the unthinkable: what would happen if you and levy ever ended things?

❧ the thought alone made you shudder; you and levy were practically soulmates, especially after all you went through to be with one another. would either one of you ever want it to be over?

❧ you've stopped paying attention to your book by now, and your eyes drift over to your loving boyfriend, admiring how engrossed he is in the book he chose for today

❧ you recognized the book, it's one he's read a few times before, so surely he wouldn't mind if you spoke your mind to him

❧ and man did you not waste a second getting to the point lmao

"hey, babe, do you think we'll ever break up?"

he flinches a bit, whether it's from the sudden noise or the question you aren't sure, and he whips his head toward you, eyes wide and a shocked expression on his face.

"um not if i can help it," he declares, sounding much like a proper victorian lady who was just asked something scandalous, "why the hell would you ask me something like that?"

you bite back a laugh at his reaction before continuing, "this book just got me thinking about break ups and, naturally, my mind drifted to us."

this didn't make him feel much better. "what do you mean 'naturally'? is there something wrong with us?" he asks, beginning to panic a bit.

"i mean think about it," you start, really not helping him calm down, "we've had a lot of rough patches in our relationship; any other couple would've broken things off by now."

"but we made it through all that," levy rushes to point out and defend your relationship. "besides, it's not like any of it was that bad, right?"

"babe, you committed treason against your own brother," you point out bluntly, "some may view that as pretty bad."

he sputters a bit, shocked by your audacity to bring that up. "i thought you said you had my back on that one! that all was forgiven and we could move on!" he sighs in exasperation. "where are you even going with this?"

"look, all i'm saying is that it's a miracle we've made it this far in our relationship," you state simply, lazily throwing your hands up in defense.

he pauses for a bit, taking in what you just said and praying that you weren't actually taking these thoughts seriously.

"have you ever, like, seriously thought about," he swallows and takes a deep breath before continuing, "breaking up with me?"

the way his voice cracks at the end of his question makes your heart drop and change your tone immediately.

"what? no, baby, of course not. i mean maybe things were a bit rough at the beginning but look at where we are now! i've never been happier."

"see, you say those things but keep bringing up the past and all my dumb mistakes. clearly they're still affecting your image of me, and maybe of our relationship?" he argues, becoming insecure of himself toward the end of his statement.

"levy, those things don't bother me anymore," you say trying to comfort him, "i know you've changed your ways and learned from your mistakes. none of that is who you are."

"i was only able to do those things because of you; you gave me a second chance," he goes quiet for a few seconds, "and i don't know where i'd be if you hadn't done that."

"in exile, probably," you joke, wincing lightly at the glare he sends you.

"exactly," he says with a harsh edge, "us breaking up would be very bad, so please, let's agree to never let that happen and move on with our day."

he turns back to his book, but you can tell he isn't paying attention to it anymore, your words circling his mind instead. you do feel bad now, his mistakes are a sensitive topic neither of you talk about much, and for you to bring them up out of nowhere on top of the idea of ending your relationship was too much for him to handle.

you set aside your own book and make your way closer to where levy is sitting. it's only when you gently touch his arm that he looks over at you, eyes filled with insecurity and conflicted thoughts.

"i didn't mean anything by that conversation, levy. the topic came up in my book and my mind couldn't help but wander," you drift off a little bit as you gauge his reaction so far. Once you see he's still listening you continue, "i don't hold your past against you, and i shouldn't have brought it up like that. i'm so grateful to be yours."

you notice his eyes start to tear up, but don't say anything as he quickly wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.

"it's alright," he says, trying to hide his voice beginning to get choked up, "just please don't do that again, you scared me."

you allow yourself to let out a small laugh at this. "sorry, hon, it won't happen again."

❧ this whole interaction does open the door for more serious conversations, mainly about insecurities and where you see your relationship going in the future

❧ but all of this can be had on a later day, for now you just focus on reassuring and loving your partner <3

Mefy

❧ ok so your situation was actually a joke

❧ mefy decided that he wanted to try and scare you, pull one of his pranks and give you a spook, nothing to harmful

❧ he had it all set up to happen at night, the atmosphere was super creepy, and he made things shift a little and made it seem like there were shadows moving around you

❧ he got the idea for all this from a couple scary movies you told him about

❧ and sure enough, you got pretty scared

❧ you tried to calm yourself down, brush it off as just your imagination, you even called out to him a couple times either to see if it was him or if he was available to help you, the latter made him feel a lil guilty ngl

❧ but he kept it going until he sneaks up behind you without a sound, grabs onto your shoulders and yells out

❧ this made you let out a little shriek and you dropped to the ground to get away from whatever scared you

❧ you look back up and see that it was your loving partner who scared the hell out of you, and he's currently laughing at your reaction <3

❧ after you get your heart back in your chest, you start to laugh along with him; you're used to his antics enough to no longer take them seriously

❧ but there was one thing about your reaction that was different, and he didn't like it at all

"geez, mefy," you say through a sigh of relief, smiling up at him, "you're lucky i don't break up with you for pulling that stuff."

mefy stopped laughing as soon as those words finished coming out of your mouth. you've never complained about the stunts he pulls on you, not even in the beginning. he knows you trust him not to do anything that'll harm you or make you actually upset, and he won't ever break that trust. but to hear you insinuate that you would break up with him over something like this? where did this come from?

you stare at mefy, confused as to why his demeanor completely changed. you've gotten better at reading him, but right now it seems all that progress has vanished. his eyes are completely blank and his expression is stoic; there's no way you're gonna be able to figure out what's on his mind unless you ask him.

"mefy?" you say in a quiet tone, not wanting to startle him.

he turns and walks away, not saying a word to you. your first thought is that this must be part of the prank, that it's not over yet and he just wants to freak you out some more. but his expression is still clear in your mind; his eyes didn't hold that usual spark of mischief. what had gone wrong?

by the time you snap out of your thoughts and decide to go after him, mefy seems to have vanished. you run in the direction he walked away, but you couldn't find a trace of him anywhere. he wasn't in any of the rooms down that hall, and he didn't somehow end up in his bedroom in the opposite direction from which he walked. mefy used to disappear like this a lot but hadn't done so since the two of you got close and became a couple, so what caused him to revert back to this behavior?

the only other place left to look was outside. it was late at night by now, cold and you weren't dressed appropriately to go outside, especially if you had to go into the woods, but you didn't care in this moment. mefy was gone and troubled about something, and you wanted nothing more than to be by his side.

you found a lantern and immediately ran outside to look for him, not caring that you were still wearing your slippers and robe. you checked around the courtyard and even the garden, but there was no sign of him.

"dammit, mefy," you mutter to yourself, "of course you'd go out there."

you walk over to the gates, noting how one of the doors is slightly ajar, and you cross over into the woods. you've gotten good at avoiding the creatures that lie within the wooded area, but you've always had someone with you. you're on your own now, and all you can do is hope mefy is close enough to rescue you if something happens.

you follow the familiar path and in record time reach the clearing the two of you so often visit. lo and behold, mefy is standing dead center, looking up at the sky as if it'll tell him the meaning of life.

you take a few steps forward before calling out to him, wanting to close the distance a bit in case he takes off again.

"there you are, i was looking everywhere for you," you say to him as you get closer. you take note of his thin clothes and your concern grows even more. "aren't you cold? why did you come all the way out here this late at night?"

he turns to you and almost looks startled for a second before his expression returns to the dead one he gave you earlier. he still hasn't said anything, he just stares at you as if he's trying to look into your head.

"mefy, come on, i followed you all the way out here," you start, beginning to lose your patience, "the least you can do is tell me why you decided to run here in the dead of night."

he stares for a few more seconds before finally speaking, "you want to break up with me."

"huh?" you exclaim, completely shocked at his blunt statement, "no i don't, where the heck did you get that one from?"

"you said it yourself earlier," he states plainly, his tone increasing in bitterness as he continues, "you told me i'm lucky that you haven't ended things yet. why don't you just get it over with if you really feel that way."

everything finally clicks in your head as you recall what you said to him. "oh, mefy," you reach out timidly to grab onto his hand, freezing when he takes a step back instead, "i didn't mean that. i don't want to break up with you; i don't even know why that was my response. i shouldn't have even joked about it."

you gauge his reaction, waiting to see if he'll accept this before continuing. his judgemental gaze is piercing through you stronger than ever.

"i know how you can feel... not special at times. and i know how you hate it when i bring that up," you hurriedly say, noting his glare at your first statement, "but you are so, so special to me. you're important, my whole world! i wouldn't give you up for anything, and i wouldn't even dream about breaking up with you."

his body language softens at your proclamation, allowing you to get closer to him and to finally grab his hand.

"i'm sorry, my love. i won't let anything like this happen again," you rub your thumb on the back of his hand, "will you forgive me?"

he scans your face one last time, sighing at your hopeful expression, "fine, i forgive you. just don't let me hear you say something like that again. i have my ways of knowing if you do."

his usual mischievous look returns and a devilish smirk grows on his face as he says that last bit, but all you can think about is that everything is okay between you two again, and the relief is enough to make your body slouch over.

"great, now can we go home? it's so cold out here, and you made me go through that forest all by myself! do you know how dangerous that is?" you chastise mindlessly, happy to have things back to how they were.

mefy chuckles at your antics, "i didn't make you do anything. following me out here was all your decision, darling."

❧ mefy leads you back through the forest safely, although he did choose to spook you a couple times just to see your reaction and get a laugh

❧ the two of you return to the bedroom and get ready for bed as you usually do

❧ as you get ready to finally drift off, you hear mefy say one last thing, "do not tell lucia about what happened tonight"

#my. hcs #this took so long to write lmao #i don't really like how mefy's turned out but i was running out of ideas aksbfjb #nightmare harem #nightmare harem lucia #nightmare harem levy #nightmare harem mefy #otome games

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wildxlily · 1 year

Text

Honeymoon - Pasta & Wine

“You’re right.” Harry agreed. “I’m glad we’re in agreement on this. Finally discussed it after all these years of being together,” he smiled and reached for her hand as they walked.

Lily laughed sheepishly and momentarily hid her face against his arm as she laced her fingers with his. “That was just a legit discussion that we had, wasn’t it?” She peeked up at him over his shoulder.

Harry laughed before looking down at Lily who was tucked close against him. "I don't know how, but I believe it was, darling." He grinned as he walked with her.

Lily shook her head a little. “All because I called it your package,” she mused under her breath. As ridiculous as it was, she hoped they would always be like this.

"You know I just had to call you out, darling. I've never heard you say that before," he teased with a smile and quick kiss to her temple. "This is why we're so good together."

“Guess I won’t say it again,” Lily laughed. She gave his hand a squeeze when he kissed her and then grinned up at him. “The best together,” she agreed. It wasn’t much longer until they reached the shops and restaurants and Lily’s stomach began to growl again at all the delicious smells.

"You can say it alll you want," Harry laughed softly, taking a look around when they arrived to the shops. "Alright, darling. Your pick this morning. Everything looks delicious."

Lily pursed her lips as she looked before finally pointing to one with an outdoor patio. “It feels good outside, so what do you say to lunch out by the street?” she looked up to Harry for his opinion. Surely, they would have some sort of pasta there.

"I say that sounds wonderful." Harry smiled at Lily before leading her over to the restaurant, her hand in his still. They were quickly seated at a table outside and Harry sat across from Lily.

Lily only let go of Harry’s hand so she could eagerly grab the menu. They hadn’t eaten anything since their gelato last night and clearly they’d burned that off this morning. “Lasagna sounds amazing, but I’m worried that may be too heavy. Maybe that for dinner and alfredo for now,” she mused, mostly to herself.

Harry sat down and began to look at the menu, nodding as Lily spoke. He was absolutely starving by this point; he never typically went without breakfast. "I think that's a good plan. I may do the same for lunch actually. That sounds good."

The waiter brought their waters and Lily didn’t hesitate at all to grab it and take a large drink. They placed their order and then were left alone again. “Think we may need to bring some snacks up to the room to have on hand,” Lily suggested with a hint of an amused smile at the corner of her lips.

Harry took a sip from his water and was able to set it down before Lily had him laughing again. "I have to agree with you, lovey. There just seems to be very little time to sneak meals in during this trip...for some reason," he grinned.

Lily placed her elbow on the table and then cradled her chin in her hand, feigning a confused expression. “How odd. You’d think with us spending all day and morning at the villa, we could have managed to properly eat,” she played along before winking at him.

Harry smiled amusedly as he watched Lily and gave a slow shake of his head. "Right, darling? I really don't know what's gotten into us..." he sighed, sitting back in his chair.

Lily subconsciously looked Harry up and down as he sat back before shaking her head. “I need to not respond to that with what popped into my head. We’re out and about in public. Need to behave ourselves.” Which she was obviously finding hard given their previous conversation topic and Harry’s chest peeking out of his shirt. Telling him to undo the top buttons was unwise on her part.

"Oh, but lovey, I would really love to know what just popped into your head... we are on our honeymoon. I think it's deserved that we get a bit of a break from behaving ourselves," Harry smiled and rested his head against his hand, eyes lovingly on Lily as per usual.

Lily laughed a little. “Babes, when do we behave ourselves?” Except for when it was around their family, they could still be pretty coy and mischievous.

"Never. That was just me trying to get you to tell me what you were thinking," Harry told Lily with a laugh, sitting back up straight in his chair. "Guess I'll just have to find out later..."

“I don’t think it would be very hard to guess, love. Often enough we’re thinking the exact same thing,” Lily raised her brows with a smile before taking another sip of her water.

Harry smiled at Lily and gave a slight shrug. "We're good thinkers," he agreed. It was very helpful how often they were on the same page and made things much easier, too, to not really have to guess what the other person was thinking. "You're very pretty. I like your dress."

Lily set her glass back on the table and glanced down at her dress, a dusting of pink coming to her cheeks. “Thanks. Thought it’d be cute but keep me cool.” She looked up at Harry and smiled as her eyes went to his chest. “And you look very handsome and sun kissed today.”

"It's very cute," Harry agreed and smiled at her before quickly glancing down at himself, already a bit tanner than when they arrived. "Thank you, darling. Spent a long time in the sun doing stuff yesterday."

Lily snorted and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. “Harry,” she playfully scolded, but her giggles gave away that she wasn’t actually mad. “It’s going to be a miracle if we make it to the winery if you keep this up.”

Harry couldn't help but laugh when he saw Lily's reaction, especially at her snort which he always thought was adorable. "Is that a challenge?" he teased, grinning at her.

“Harry! We didn’t come to Italy to just stay in the villa. Could’ve just stayed at home and saved a bunch of money, then.” The smile was still on Lily’s face; she could never truly be upset with Harry.

Harry smiled at Lily and then looked down. "I know, I know..." He really did want to explore even if the idea of staying in all day was tempting. Then their food came and both were quickly distracted with that.

Lily thanked the waiter and then momentarily turned her attention back to Harry as she unwrapped her silverware. “After the winery,” she mumbled. And then her mouth was busy with consuming as much pasta as possible in of course the politest way possible.

Lily's few words had Harry grinning again. "I'll keep that in mind," he spoke and then began to eat. The pasta was absolutely delicious and Harry was starving, but he tried to make it last.

Lily, on the other hand, had her pasta downed in record timing for herself. Still hungry, though, she nibbled on the bread the waiter had also brought. “Don’t think I’ll have to worry too much about getting drunk at the winery after eating all these carbs,” she reasoned.

Harry finished not long after Lily and sipped his water while sat back in his seat. He laughed softly. "Don't think so either, love. As long as you pace yourself," he teased, stealing a small piece of bread.

Lily playfully rolled her eyes at him. “It’s just a tasting,” she shrugged. Surely, they’d be leaving with a bottle or two. Then they could enjoy it poolside or on the balcony.

"Just teasing, darling." Harry smiled softly. He was excited, though. Lily slowly but surely got him used to drinking wine over the course of their relationship, and this was something they both wanted to do ever since they were first planning this trip.

The waiter brought over the check soon and Lily got out her card to pay. “I’m curious to see what they have and what you like,” she mused. Typically, he just drank whatever Lily liked when it came to wine.

"Me, too. Should be interesting. We usually just stick to the same few kinds," Harry smiled and slid his card out of his wallet, holding it out to Lily.

Lily shook her head and gently nudged his card back to him. “I’ve already got mine out. Besides…what’s mine is yours now.” She pursed her lips and tilted her head. “I guess we’ll have to make a trip to the bank when we get home to open our joint account and figure all that stuff out, but…” she shook her head, “We’re enjoying our honeymoon now.”

"I've got our wine trip then." Harry promised with a smile and then slipped his card back into his wallet. "Ah, yes... all the fun married adult things. I suppose there's not too much that has to be done, though. There'll be more when we end up getting a house."

The waiter took her card and returned soon after with the receipt and pen. “I’ve got some stuff to do at work with my name change, but Mike said he’d have them get a head start on their end of it while I’m here.” It was honestly surprising what all had to be done legally. But of course, it was worth it.

Harry nodded and finished his glass of water while Lily signed the receipt. "I was gonna ask about that. Hopefully none of it is too annoying." It would be nice if Mike could have it figured out for Lily by the time they got back.

Lily pursed her lips and shrugged as she set down the pen. “Nothing too terrible. Just different paperwork.” She put her card back in her purse and then went to stand. “Lucky you get the good end of the deal. Just get a new wife and don’t have to worry about anything,” she teased with a playful grin.

Harry nodded and stood with Lily, reaching for her hand again before grinning. "Oh, I'm well aware. Got my beautiful wife and that's all I need," he said and began to walk, "Any idea of which direction we are heading in?"

Lily smiled up at him before hesitating a little. “I thought you knew where we were going because you started walking,” she laughed. “Hold on. Come here.” She guided him to the side against the wall of a shop so she could pull out her phone and look up the winery. “Okay. It says it’s just two blocks ahead and then take a left.”

Harry laughed before following Lily and leaning against the wall so he could look at the directions on her phone. "I was just walking!" he grinned and then nodded, "Easy enough."

Lily tucked her phone away and started walking again. They took their time, though. Lily was in no rush and was happy to glance at the windows of the shops as they passed.

They began to walk and Harry noticed as Lily would look in some of the store windows. "Let me know if you want to stop in any of these on the way," he offered, thumb rubbing against the back of her hand.

Lily turned to Harry and smiled. “I just like looking. It’s interesting to see what all they have.” Some of it was similar to back in England, but there were also unique trinkets.

"Okay. Was just wondering," Harry smiled. It seemed something always caught their attention whenever they traveled someplace new, and they had this whole trip to do whatever they wanted.

Lily gave his hand a small squeeze. It was adorable that he had been paying attention to her. “Love you,” she smiled as they continued to walk.

Harry smiled down at Lily before looking ahead as they walked. "I love you," he returned the gentle squeeze of her hand and soon enough they came upon the winery.

Lily stepped in and found an employee behind a desk that greeted them in Italian. She could only assume he asked how he could help. “Umm…hi. We were hoping to do a wine tasting?” she gave him in unsure smile, hoping he spoke English.

Luckily, the man spoke English. At least enough to understand their request. They were led outside where he motioned for them to sit at any of the several open tables, then handed over a list of the wines they could pick from.

Lily followed along with Harry and sat down at the table. “Gracie,” she smiled politely as she took the wine list. It wasn’t until the man left that she let out a breath. “I will say, I liked the fact that in Paris, I could somewhat communicate with people in French. I feel a little bad assuming people here know English.”

Harry sat with Lily and gave a few small nods. “I know… they must be used to it, but still. I wish I knew more to make it easier,” he agreed.

Lily hummed thoughtfully. “I do enjoy the way Italian sounds. Maybe you’ll pick up a couple phrases to use every now and then,” she smiled at him. Then her eyes were back on the wine list. “Okay…I’m going to try to branch out instead of my normal go-tos.”

“I’ll have to look some up and try them out later,” Harry smiled and leaned closer to Lily so they could look together. “Good plan, darling… I think my plan is to pick some random ones, since I have no idea.”

Lily laughed at Harry’s logic for his choices. “That works.” A waiter arrived and Lily listed off four wines she’d like to taste before letting Harry share his.

Harry smiled. They had more than enough time to each pick their four choices, letting the waiter know once he came over to them. “Italian pasta and wine. We are living the dream,” he grinned.

“Oh!” Lily’s eyes widened suddenly. “We need to remember to take a picture with our wine!” So far, they just had a few photos seeing as how certain activities didn’t necessarily make for photos they wanted to share on social media.

“Oh, right, darling. Thanks for remembering,” he spoke softly and tapped his phone that was in his pocket, “camera is all ready whenever our wine is.”

“I mean…yes we’ll have photos tomorrow, but…should probably have photos of other things we’ve done, too,” Lily laughed softly. It wasn’t long at all before the waiter returned with their first glasses, just filled a quarter of the way, and began to explain the wine. Lily waited until he had left to hold her glass up towards Harry. “Cheers.”

“That might look good for us… so when our families ask to see pictures, we actually have something to show them,” Harry laughed softly. He slid his phone out of his pocket before holding his glass up as well when it was time. “Cheers, my lovey.”

“Oh, I’m sure our sisters know what’s actually happening, but yes…we need appropriate pictures for our parents.” Lily lightly tapped her glass against Harry’s and then took a small sip, pondering the taste for a bit. “Hmm…it’s sweet, but not too much.”

Harry took a sip the same time as Lily and eyes were on her for her reaction. “You like it?” he smiled, setting his glass down and getting his camera out.

Lily nodded and offered it out for him to try. “What did you think of yours?” she wondered.

“I thought it was good. I like it. A little bit like that one we have at home? See what you think,” he said and set his glass down in front of Lily before taking hers and getting a sip. “Oh, that one is good, lovey. I like that it’s not too sweet.”

Lily traded glasses and took a sip as well before nodding. “You’re right. Just a smidge more bitter than the one at home,” she agreed. “I’ll make a note to remember mine in case it’s one of our favorites.”

Harry nodded. “Yours is really good.” They traded back and he took another sip of his own. “Picture now, darling?”

Lily was about to take a sip of her own when Harry reminded her of the picture. She leaned over the table to be as close as she could while sitting and made sure to hold up her wine.

Harry held his wine glass up as well as his phone and waited until they were both positioned and smiling to take the picture. “Perfect, loves.” He placed his phone near Lily so she could look at it if she wanted.

Lily smiled as she looked at it. “Perfectly normal photo to show our parents,” she giggled. With that she finished off her glass and as if he knew, the waiter appeared with the next.

“They’ll be so pleased.” Harry laughed softly and set their empty glasses aside once they were both finished. They thanked the waiter for their second glasses. “Good thing we ate before this.”

Lily raised her brows at him. “Tummy full of pasta and wine? I’m gonna be so lazy after this,” she laughed lightly. The next wine wasn’t as good in her opinion, but she still offered it out for Harry to try.

Harry smiled and tried his second wine before switching once again. “Hm… your first one is still my favorite yet,” he decided and returned Lily’s glass to her.

Lily nodded, “Mine, too.” She didn’t finish her second glass but the waiter came with their third glasses soon anyways. Lily’s eyes widened this time. “Wait, love. We may have a contender for the top spot.” She quickly held the glass out for him to try.

Harry hadn’t even tried his third wine yet before he was taking Lily’s glass from her. His brows raised and he gave a nod once he took a sip. “I spoke too soon. That one is my favorite.”

Lily laughed softly and looked back to the menu, making a mental note of the two. She took another savoring sip of it and then let Harry have another. “Definitely a bottle of this for the villa.”

Harry took a smaller sip that time, not wanting to drink it all on Lily, before passing it back to her. “We can get all the wine you’d like, darling. Honeymoon privileges.” He teased and grinned.

“As if you don’t already let me have all the wine I want,” Lily giggled. She was admittedly sad that the wine was gone, but the promise of a bottle (or two) made it so she wasn’t pouty. And of course, another glass of wine being placed down in front of her helped, even if it was a different flavor.

Harry laughed. “Okay… good point.” He took a sip of his third choice of wine, and then placed it in front of Lily so she could try, just like the last two. “Nothing’s gonna beat your last one, I’m afraid.”

Lily took his wine and sipped at it. It seemed the more she drank, the more time she had to spend thinking about the taste as they all started to blend together on her tongue. “Still good, though. But that one just blew them out of the water,” she agreed. “We’ll have to figure out how to take a bottle or two home or if we can buy it back home.”

Harry nodded and they exchanged glasses again. “I don’t think it would be a problem to put it in our checked bags for the flight home but I can check before we leave,” he suggested.

Lily grinned at that, “You’re the best.” It was time for their last wine and Lily took a moment to swirl it around and smell it before she took a taste. The flavor was a bit harder to decipher, but still good nonetheless. “I can’t decide. I think I’ve tried too many now,” she laughed softly.

Harry sipped at his last wine at the same time that Lily did hers. He laughed softly, understanding exactly what she meant. “They’re all just running together now,” he grinned and set his glass down on the table.

Lily nodded in agreement and sat back in her seat. “This has been lovely, but I feel quite full now.” Between the pasta and four wines, no matter how small, Lily wasn’t in the mood to move for a bit.

Harry nodded in agreement. He was more than okay with not moving for some time. “I saw some people taking a little tour around here. Could take a walk around when we feel like moving again?”

Lily’s eyes widened slightly at first before she settled back into the seat. “For a second I thought you were suggesting a walk right now,” she laughed a little.

Harry laughed. “Oh no. I don’t think I could tolerate a walk at the moment,” he smiled at Lily and sat back like she did, looking around a little. They’d been too distracted by the wine that he hadn’t yet taken in much about the place.

Lily looked around as well, fingers fiddling with the stem of her glass. "I feel like everything in Italy is so much warmer than back home," she mused before waving her hand. "All the buildings are yellow or tan and the sun is out far more than it is in England." Granted that wasn't too great of a feat.

Harry slowly nodded. “It was so nice to have the sun out all day yesterday, as opposed to back home… maybe we should just move here,” he smiled cheekily.

Lily shook her head as she smiled at him. “Don’t tempt me, lovey. You know I would move somewhere warm in a heartbeat and then both our mums would kill us.” Liz being in London was already hard enough on her parents.

Harry grinned and looked at Lily from across the table as he sat back. “Just say the word…and we’ll make it happen,” he smiled at her. They had yet to decide where exactly they wanted to settle down, but neither of them wanted to be far from their families.

Lily sighed and tilted her head to rest her cheek on her shoulder. “Harry.” With everything going on in the last year and all the changes, finding a place to settle and start their business hadn’t been a priority even if it hadn’t been far from their minds. “I don’t know if we’d be successful running a bed and breakfast in a country we can’t speak the language of,” she laughed softly.

Harry laughed and gave a little shrug. “Likely not…but anything is possible,” he grinned and gently nudged his foot against Lily’s under the table.

Lily just shook her head with a light smile still on her lips. “Well, this at least isn’t a conversation to be had over this much wine and when we’re so loved up and in dream world on our honeymoon,” she attempted being reasonable. In all honesty, Harry could convince her to do anything with that charm and smile.

Harry nodded, giving into Lily with a smile. He had to admit his idea wasn’t the brightest, but he did like to push her at times. “Okay, okay… good point, darling.”

Lily just gave his foot a nudge of her own in return as she reached for the wine glass in front of her and took a sip. “What do you say? Up for a walk now?”

“Hey…” Harry smiled at her nudge on his foot but then gave a nod and slowly sat up in his chair. “I am ready whenever you are.”

“Don’t hey me. You did it first,” Lily eyed him with a smirk before she scooted her chair back and stood. She took one last drink of the wine and set the empty glass down on the table. “Shall we?” she asked, holding out her hand to him.

“Hm… I don’t know about that,” Harry joked and grinned at her before standing as well. “We shall, lovey.” He took Lily’s hand and led her to start their walk, figuring they’d find their way around.

Lily followed Harry’s lead, happy to go anywhere with him. She had to admit, though, the vineyard was quite beautiful. “Just take a stroll through the rows of grapes,” she smiled up at Harry. “Quite romantic, I’d say.”

Harry laced their fingers as they started to walk. “Romantic grape walk…” he grinned ridiculously and gave her hand a squeeze, “this has been the most perfect day.”

Lily ignored his first comment and instead raised her brows at the second. “I thought yesterday was the most perfect.” Or they’d at least said something along those lines.

Harry rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand as they walked. “Can we not have two most perfect days?” he asked and looked down at her.

Lily smiled at him, clearly amused as she brought their hands up to place a kiss against the back of his. “Lovey…I feel like you’re a bit tipsy on wine. Or all of yesterday’s activities have gotten to you.” He was being quite ridiculous, which was nothing new for Harry, but typically it was short bursts and then he’d grow more serious again.

Harry brought his hand up with Lily’s and watched as she kissed it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. That was a serious question,” he smiled at her.

“In that case; yes, we can. I have a feeling this trip is going to be made up of a lot of most perfect days,” Lily allowed. She let their hands fall back between them and swung them ever so slightly as they continued to walk.

Harry leaned over once their hands were let back down just to kiss her temple before standing back up straight. “Me too, darling.”

Lily smiled at the kiss and then she was content to walk in the quiet for a bit. The sunshine was warm on her skin and it was quite peaceful in the garden with just a few other people wandering around or tasting the wine.

They were quiet for the most part as they walked and took everything in. They managed to cover the whole area and were heading back towards where they started. “Wanna buy the wine and head back? Unless you wanted to do something else?”

Lily shook her head, “Nothing really comes to mind. I think lounging by the pool sounds good.” They made their way back to the counter at the front so they could pay for their tasting and buy the new wine they’d liked so much.

Harry nodded. Not much sounded better than another relaxing day at the pool with Lily. They bought bottles of their top two favorite wines and paid for their tasting before taking the bag and starting the walk back to the villa.

Lily was very tempted to lay her head on Harry’s shoulder, but waited until they were out of the main area of town. “We haven’t done a whole lot today, so I don’t know why I’m tired,” she mumbled. Though, the large amount of pasta she consumed and the wine could definitely play a factor.

Harry wrapped his arm around Lily once she leaned against him, bag in his other hand. “I’d have to argue that. I feel like we got quite the workout this morning,” he smiled.

Lily smiled and hummed, “That’s true. But we did far more yesterday and then stayed up late into the night talking.” Not that she was complaining one bit. She loved last night.

“Maybe that has something to do with it, too, then. Since we don’t usually go to bed that late,” Harry smiled at her. “Could lay down before heading out to the pool if you wanted?”

“Maybe,” Lily agreed. “Or just lay by the pool. Wish we had floaties and I could just nap while floating around in the water.” She’d surely get a sunburn then and she did not need that before their photoshoot.

Harry smiled. “How about I’ll hold you up while you nap in the pool? It’ll be basically the same thing,” he teased, opening up the front door of the villa once they arrived and letting Lily step in first.

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kuttanjal123 · 2 years

Text

TARGET ON MY BACK

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Umm.... We don't have room," said one of them.

"I see enough space for me to sit," I pointed.

The girls stared at me.

"Tiffany, right?"

I nodded with a smile. Instead, they glanced at each other and smirked.

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?"

I stared at them perplexed.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"I guess you're at the wrong table. We really are conscious of what we put in our mouths. Looks like you don't really care about that."

"So you're judging me based on the food I eat?"

"No, we're just being honest on what it takes to be one of us."

I shook my head and walked away.

"You're sick!" I screamed.

It was hard to make friends in this school. I didn't know where I belonged. Indeed, there were the school jocks, nerds, the popular kids, the smartest and brightest, cheerleader gang ...my school had it all. It wasn't like people didn't talk to me, but they never wanted to get close enough to know me, even when I attempted. I sat by myself for lunch...it was pure hell and disgrace. But I was still hopeful that someday things would change, and people would actually see me for who I was.

There were indeed days I would cry because I felt lonely and like a misfit. I couldn't complain because my dad was sick, and Mom, who I thought didn't care for me, really did for both her child and husband.

The good part about this school was that the teachers were kind and approachable. I spent a lot of time studying because Mom and Dad had a dream for me. I still didn't have any idea what I wanted to become. The best part of living in Louisiana was going grocery shopping. There was Mr. Pike who taught Chemistry, Mr. Khan taught History, Ms. Ahuja taught Biology, Mr. King taught Math, and Ms. Canela taught Spanish. What helped me for a while was talking to Mary and Sam over the weekends. I could share all my woes with them, and they always made me feel better. It was like a therapy session ...

When Lebron Jordan walked into the school, it felt like an angel had descended from heaven and was in our presence. Everyone wanted to talk to him and get to know him personally. When he was introduced to our class, the girls had endless cheers.

The moment he sat at his desk, all the girls turned to look at him and didn't pay attention in class. Wow, I said inside my mind. That's one hunk of a man. He looked like both Kobe Bryant and Lebron James in terms of his physique; maybe that's why he was named after one of them. He had a killer smile. Yup, all the qualities you could imagine your dream boyfriend could have. I couldn't help but take a glance at him whenever I got the chance.

People like me wouldn't dare to approach him. As one of the ace players on the basketball team, Lebron, knew how to use popularity. He put out a flyer asking for help with history. All the girls went crazy...especially the plastics and the hotshots. The most discussed topic trending the whole afternoon was who would be the chosen one to teach him.

I remember him rejecting literally every girl walking up to him and the boys who were gay with crushes on him. I could never guess what would happen next. It was lunch, and I sat at the table alone as usual. Lebron sat right opposite me and began talking.

"Hey there," he said, pulling up his chair near the table. "How's it going?"

I would have really been crazy to think this dude would want to talk to ... me?! Of all people?! Shaking my head, I stood up to leave, until he held my hand.

"Whoa, hold up, girl," he said as he showcased his dimpled smile. "What's your problem?"

"I ain't got no time for people like you," I said, looking down at the table in an attempt to avoid eye contact.

"Come on, I was wondering if you could teach me history."

"And why did you pick me? Let me guess ... because I'm a misfit and probably the only one who ignores you. Right?" I asked.

"Well ... Nah ... I've seen you take a look at me, too." He grinned.

"Are you flirting with me?" I asked seriously.

"I saw you alone and wanted to give you company."

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms.

"OK, you got me," he said with his hands up.

"Sorry," I said as I stood up once again. "I'm not one to fall into your seductive, lustful traps."

"Who's talking about traps?" he asked, following me.

"Dude ... ... just leave me alone, OK?"

Before he could say anything further, I'd walked away. I probably appeared cold and unfriendly, but guys like him ... they're after something and only after what they want. Selfish, self-centered, and narcissistic.

But surprisingly, it seemed as if he wasn't ready to give up. I found a note on my desk with a single yellow rose as a token of extending friendship. I wanted to read what was in it entirely, but it was snatched from me and torn into pieces.

"You don't need that," said Brianna, the Regina George in our school.

But as I turned, I felt her fist punch right into my nose and was left bloody within a few moments.

"Stop!" I heard a voice call out. "Leave her alone!"

"Lebron," said Brianna softly. "You don't just give things like that to freaks—"

"What I do or not do is not your concern!"

Angry and miffed, she walked away. I knew what she would do next: wipe her tears and powder her face with makeup.

"I'm sorry," he said as he helped me to my feet.

He grabbed my hand and took me to get First Aid. He was there the whole time I was bleeding, and for the first time, I didn't see an attention seeker; I saw a person who cared and didn't judge me for my appearance.

"Brianna and I ... we—"

"I know," I said as I turned to leave.

"I was really trying to be friends with you," I heard him say in a pained voice. "I guess I like you."

Shocked by his confession, I turned towards him and admitted that I had a change of heart as well. I was open to giving him a chance ... and that meant helping him with history as the starting point.

He was not only the best player but also really smart. He could grasp things quickly, and I would quiz him extensively. He indeed was handsome, intelligent, and charming. He had beautiful blue eyes and a piercing stare. These girls had seen him from a distance, but I got to see him up close. At times, I would become conscious of myself and look away when I talked to him. He really was gorgeous and breathtaking. We would finish our sessions and head home on respective days.

"Hey, so ... you remember what I taught you about Christopher Columbus, right?"

"Yeah. It was Amerigo Vespucci who discovered America and not him."

The test was over, and the grades were out.

"Yo! I got an A! You did it, Tiff!" he cheered.

"Tiff?"

"Uh ... isn't that your name?"

"I'm called Tiff by only people who are close to me, and I'm close to."

"Aight ... I'ma call you Tiffany, I guess," he said with a sheepish smile.

"That's better."

Dad's chemo sessions relieved him, but the side effects were awful. He became weaker and couldn't deal with the heat exposure. He had to wrap a cloth around his head when we were out. After a point, I decided to do the shopping on my own without any help.

Lebron and I began having more intimate and personal conversations about life, culture, ambition, and faith in God. He wasn't so bad after all.

"What do you wanna pursue in life?" I asked as we walked down the sidewalk.

"I wanna be someone good, caring, and a person who fights for justice. A lawyer."

"Johnnie Cochran for O.J., huh?"

"Nah, now you're just being sarcastic," he smirked. "I want to represent people from our community and change the perception people have about us racially."

"So, you want to represent only people like us?"

"I want to represent people of all races and fight for my clients equally but attempt to erase people's preconceived notions about us. We're often labeled as people who steal or are gangsta, or violent or unsafe ... we're so much beyond that. We're good people who deserve chances at what we want. I want to show people that we're in no way superior or inferior to them, but we're equal. What about you?"

"I don't know."

"Really?"

"I love biology, but I'm not up for studying to become a doctor."

"You can be a nurse. That's interesting."

"Yeah, I'll think about that."

One of the most awaited basketball games was approaching, and Lebron asked me to attend it.

"We ain't a couple. You wanted to be my friend, and that's where it ends."

"Come on, girl, we can have fun."

"You're pushing it," I said, shaking my head.

Our team was the Willington Wizards. The jersey was maroon and white. He sure did look dashing in what he wore. Heck, he looked dashing in anything he wore. All eyes were on him, and as usual, we won the game.

"Hey girl, we won, and it was because of you! You're lucky!" he shouted.

"You know, I'm not a really big fan of this celebration and ... whatever," I said, shaking my head.

"I know ... but you made me feel special," he said.

"Cut it out, Lebron," I said as I pushed him away.

I learned that Lebron came from a broken family, his parents were divorced, and he was neglected as a child due to the bitter custody battle between them. I took him to church and tried to see if the Holy Presence would calm him, give him peace, and help him regroup himself emotionally and mentally. I was happy for him because I believed he exerted his rage, aggression and went all out in his passion for playing basketball.

"Where was your Jesus when I was going through so much pain?"

"Your parents loved you a lot, and that's why they fought over you. But don't you get that Jesus gave you a healthy body, a striking smile, intelligence, and basketball skills? Those are your gifts, and you refuse to cherish them."

"Whatever—"

"Nah, Lebron. My dad was diagnosed with cancer. I take him to chemo every week. My mom works hard for us back in Georgia, and so does he ... to fight back every day for me. I look like this because I had a terrible fall on my back, and I needed to take medicines to ease the pain. I gained weight, and I am ridiculed for it."

He stood stunned. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's Him who gets me through everything," I said, pointing at Jesus' statue. "I'm not forcing you to become religious and spiritual, but it sure does calm you. Why don't you try it for me?"

He nodded silently as I joined my hands to pray.

I was falling for him...not because he was charming but because I could sense him crying out for help. Despite his never being vocally expressive, his eyes beneath the knight in shining armor image; although very fierce and powerful, would also express pain and unhappiness. I don't think I was drawn to his personality but to his pain ... I felt I was the one who had to save him.

"Oops," I heard a strangely sweet voice say as the door slammed right in my face. "Didn't see you there, shamu."

This was probably the second or third time it'd happened, and nope ... this time, I wasn't having it.

"You know ... you may think that what you have with him is something special ... but it's nothing compared to what he and I have. We bond on a level that's so intimate, so personal ... something you could never dream of having—"

"Are you done with your bullshit?" I snapped.

"What's up with the new confidence, hoe?"

"I don't care what you and Lebron have ... what I have with him—it's special. And anything you say doesn't change that."

"Cut the crap, bitch," said Brianna.

"You wish," I said with arms folded as I turned around, only to find Lebron standing there with wide eyes.

"Is that true?!" He jumped as he held me by my shoulders.

Embarrassed, unprepared, shocked by his presence ... I rushed to that bathroom. What had I done? I wasn't prepared to face him ... but it sure wasn't easy to avoid him. He managed to sit in any position facing me and would fix his eyes on me ... his piercing glare made conscious no matter how hard I tried to play it off cool.

"What is this between us?" I heard him ask as I took my books out of the locker.

"Uh ... friendship?" I said as I pretended to quickly flip pages in my book.

"I don't think so," he said, snatching the book from me. "You can't deny that you don't like me."

I didn't answer and instead shut my locker door and began to walk away.

"You wouldn't have taken me to the church if you ain't gonna have love for me," he said, grabbing my hand. "And you don't just admit stuff like that, Tiff Simpson."

"I was just trying to be nice, but you—"

Lebron kissed me, and I became speechless. It took a few moments to grasp what had happened.

"You—what—how—why.... What did you just do?"

"I kissed you because I wanted to. You wouldn't shut up. And by the way, that's the longest sentence I've ever heard."

"NO!" I yelled, shaking my head.

"Was it bad?"

"You shouldn't have done that!"

"Why?"

"B-Because ... now ... I want to kiss you too," I said.

He stepped closer to me and cupped my face. "Then who's stopping you?"

I couldn't resist any longer. I leaned in to kiss him. It was our first kiss, at least mine, and it felt like a dream. This was the moment I truly felt my feelings had bloomed into a love for him. All it took was one kiss.

He took on dropping and picking me up from school, and yes, he had Dad's blessing. We walked into the school hand in hand. I felt so confident and happy. The school's most unpopular girl indeed got the most popular guy, but they perhaps saw it as a joke to outsiders.

I was excited about this adventure. What could possibly unfold next?

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