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#IF YOU MADE IT ID LIKE TO TALK.......OBSESSED W YOUR WORK
hi ik ur mainly talking abt hotd (/not the rest of asoiaf) so feel free to ignore this - but do u think grrm is like. aware enough of the story he’s written to divert the fandoms expectation of making dany & jon rulers/saviours of the realm? when i was reading the books i felt like it was pretty obvious that the targs were supposed to be yt supremacists that were so obsessed w the idea of their own grandness that it became their ruin. but online it seems like ppl are so obsessed w how the targ bloodline has to continue & how they’re meant to rule Westeros & now w the targ premonition actually being connected to Actual World Ending Events it sort of feels like he might (unintentionally?) validate the yt supremacists. i only read the books after watching hotd so idk a lot abt grrm, but i was under the impression that he was pretty aware of the implications of the targs + dragons but now Im unsure. sorry if this is worried weirdly, english isnt my first language, but i really enjoy yr takes on fictions so i thought id ask.
yeah i honestly don't know but i've definitely talked before about how i'm really concerned about just how self-aware grrm is when it comes to the messaging in and implications of his own writing, like a lot of the time it does seem so unambiguously direct that i'm like okay he knows the core tenet of the entire targ mythology is literally just aryanism ft divine right of kings, he knows the dragons are weapons of mass destruction, he knows dany's white savior storyline on her way to reconquer westeros because that is her divine birthright is just an imperial civilizing mission, this was all intentional, this is actually a poignant allegory about the massive power and importance of mythmaking in the rise of fascist regimes… but then he'll go on talk shows and interviews and Say Things and draw connections between his work and the real world where he's like god i just wish i had a real dragon so i could Fix Problems and i just. don't know. i never read fire & blood (and honestly don't really care to) and haven't read the main books in a long time so i don't really have any actual insight into where he's going with them.
i'm guessing a lot of people who were disappointed with the ending of the tv series specifically because they thought dany “deserved” to Win The Game Of Thrones are probably hoping for grrm to "fix it" in the books. and i've definitely already made my stance on this abundantly clear, but while i do still think a lot of the show was done extremely poorly and i have well documented hatred toward david benioff & db weiss, the overall direction of dany's arc was, well, Correct (though poorly executed) and the ultimate outcome was both established and heavily foreshadowed from the start if you were watching with, like, any awareness of the implications of the Whiteness of it all. so idk the one (1) good thing i have to say about the original series is that the targ haters in the audience won in the end so here's hoping that's one thing that grrm won't decide to rework because he saw how unpopular it was with the audience. "my world is gritty and grimdark i kill beloved characters all the time!" ok george i'm gonna hold you to that. kill your sympathetic blonde heroine and put an end to that aryan dynasty for good.
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2lekk · 2 years
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The Elvis Ask Game
thanks for the tag babe @missmaywemeetagain
When and what was your first exposure to Elvis Presley?
im not sure if this was actually my very first exposure or not but this the earliest memory i have lol idek if it really counts but when i first watched ‘forest gump’ & they were saying he got his moves from forest. & then after that i remember hearing about him through ‘full house’.
And what was your first impression?
i didn’t really think too much about him & it’s crazy bc i’m beyond obsessed now lol i never really dived into him or music until recently. i mean i always thought the way he danced was interesting LOL but yea all i knew about really was the basics, the dance moves, jumpsuits, the ‘King’ title, his connection to black culture & and his death. it’s insane bc i very recently found out that my mother was a HUGE elvis fan & i was so in shock bc she never played any of his music or mentioned him to me or around me. i was offended lmaoooo bc i could’ve been had him in my life😭
Lace shirts or jumpsuits?
this is a very hard question bc baby the lace shirts?!?! especially when he tied up the bottom & showed a lil stomach?!?! pls. he was eating the gworls up. but also the jumpsuits. the fucking jumpsuits. he really did his big one w those. the taste🤌🏾😘
You can steal one of Elvis/Austin’s outfits, what’s it going to be?
sheesh. idk. it may just HAVE to be the leather suit… or maybe the outfit with the hat & the pink jacket from the merchandise scene. knowing me, i’ll probably wish i chose a different one when i’m scrolling on my feed later😂
C’mon, we know you’ve been watching/reading old interviews and random footage of the man, so what’s your favorite random Elvis quote?
PLS it’s soooo many. i’ll list a few
-‘if you don’t come back (take 3)’ hes messing around singing then he goes “i go crazy at 4 o’clock, you people never seen me. they have to put me in a straitjacket”
-during the 68 comeback special singing ‘love me tender’ he changed the words & says “you have made my life a wreck- uh complete”
-during the 68 comeback special again, he’s telling the audience that the 2nd audience is coming in next and they get a little upset & he goes “i just work here”
-one i ALWAYS catch myself saying now “my boy my boy” my dad asked me other day where i got that from & when i started saying it😂😂
it’s a lot more but that’s just off the top of my head
Did you find Austin Butler’s lips distracting despite them being in a movie about the King of plush upper lips? (Be honest now)
of COURSE i did. him as a whole was a little distracting🤣🤣
What’s an aspect of Elvis’ character you wish more people appreciated?
how loving he was. that man gave & gave & gave until he died. i wish the ppl that were in his life appreciated that instead of taking advantage of it. i 100% believe if those ppl really appreciated him like they say now then he would still be alive. i’ll leave it at that before i start crying
You meet Col. Tom Parker for the first time, forewarned with the knowledge of what a scumbag he is, what do you do?: A. nothing, you’re a coward who doesn’t care about abused golden-hearted men B. you give the Colonel a stern telling off C. you encourage Elvis to leave him and break the contract E. you slap a legal document against that fat suit and declare “Mrs. Claus is bringing you a lawsuit” F. you waste no time with formalities, it’s a letter opener to the juggler for that piece of trash
this depends on what point in elvis career we’re talking about here. id say i’d let him be until 58ish. i say this bc i’m not gon lie, he gave elvis the start he needed but 58 is when king creole came out & that was the last movie role of his i took serious🥴 i of course enjoyed the ones after that but it’s not the serious drama he wanted. he was given all bs roles & he wasn’t performing & making music he really enjoyed. i feel like from then on is when colonel started blatantly playing in his face. anyways, to actually answer the question, B C & E
What was your favorite aspect/scene from the Elvis 2022 movie?
fave scenes hands down, the vegas rehearsal & the trouble performance. i love love love the music that baz had created for this, that man is genius & everything fell into place perfectly.
it’s so many mixes that were such a small part of the movie that it wasnt released that i love SO much.
-i want jimmy’s elvis impersonation of ‘how do you think i feel’.
-i want that slowed down version of ‘that’s all right’ that “big boy crudup” sang
-the slowed down version of ‘that’s all right’ from when colonel first heard elvis
-the slowed down CRAWFISH?!?! pls i need that
that’s just a few, i need EVERYthing
but i literally wouldn’t change a thing. the transitionsssss!!! so amazing. idk the movie was just so fucking perfect. i watched it over 20 times (over 10 in theatres)
You can choose only one song or piece of media to convince someone to become an Elvis fan, what is it going to be?
there is literally no way i can answer this & i refuse to stress myself out trying🤣🤣 the way my fave elvis song changes every week?! pls, i wouldn’t know WHAT to put on. i would have that person there alllll damn day trying to convince them
How many children would you give Elvis Presley from your own -or theoretical- womb? (listen to the beast in ya, your feminism won’t serve you here)
pls. i will never have the desire to raise a child🤣 even if i did, im too selfish & would want him all to myself anyways lmaoo
Where are you hanging out with EP, his bedroom with the teddy bears, Club Handy, his private jet or Graceland?
graceland for sure, real personal. i would say the bedroom but the teddy bears would’ve been too much🤣 & i wouldn’t be the center of his attention at club handy LOL
What is the peak Elvis era? warning, this says an awful lot about you…
oh late 68- early 70 EASY. top TIER. i’ll stand on that forever.
How long have you been an Austin Butler fan (be honest now, God is watching)
i’ve known of him for a good minute but i wasn’t actually a fan or even paid him any actual attention until Elvis movie.
What kind of Elvis chick are you? -a 1950’s prospective wife material that he’s already sampled, a 1960’s filmset fling or a Vegas torrid backstage affair?
ummmm can i make up my own & say 60s wife?😂 idkkkk filmset fling maybe? LOL
Is Austin Butler an honorary southerner now? Answer options: A. hell no, California can keep his sweet cheeks. B. hell yes, he’s practically been possessed by the soul of the King of the South
oh possessed for sure😂 that’s stuck w him for life now
Pick your poison in the fan-fiction realm: angst, fluff, smut, fluffy smut, angsty fluff, angsty smut?…or is reading about Elvis Presley an acknowledged health hazard?
angsty smut & smutty fluff. easy picks LOL
Spit or swallow for this man? (And if you don’t understand this question move right along)
PLS im SWALLOWING. is that even a question???
Would Gladys approve of you? Take your above answer into consideration
i’m cracking up, gladys wouldve NEVER known that side of me. now me as an actual person? idk LOL but based off my love for her son? she would approve & love me 100%
Which of Elvis’ cars is your favorite?
i’m not a car perso bc n at all so the pink cady just bc it’s my fave color.
What are your odds for besting this man at karate?
oh pls. none. at all. it would’ve been over for me REAL quick
If you could meet Elvis and have enough composure to tell him something, what would it be?
oh wow. ummmm. to sum it up(not going in detail bc i’ll start crying LOL) i would just let him know exactly how loved he is & how he’s still changing lives of millions
What’s the Elvis 2022 quote you’ve been mumbling to yourself ever since you heard it?
“let it all hang out EP, let it all hang out”
“been a long time baby”
i repeat a lot of them very randomly but those are just two
What are your top 3 go-to Elvis songs?
as i was saying earlier, the answer to this changes pretty often lol but rn these are the ones i’ve been throwing on first (don’t confuse this list w my all time fave songs lol)
‘after loving you (take 2)’
‘if you don’t come back’
‘just pretend (midnight show)’
If you could spare him one tragedy what would it be?
the death of his mother. no questions. i 100% believe SO much would’ve been avoided if she lived longer. elvis for SURE would’ve lived longer, can’t convince me any different.
Is there a modern artist that sorta scratches for you the itch that Elvis’ absence leaves?
no. LOL sorry not sorry. it’s one elvis & nobody gives me the feeling he does. literally.
How did you react at the end of the movie when In the Ghetto started to play A. I got up and fixed a snack because I have no soul, B. I left feeling alarmingly horny, C. I was impressed but didn’t realize how affected I was until days later when it was still with me D. I cried buckets they had to bring in a mop E. I may have appeared emotionless but in fact my soul was leaving my body and I don’t think it’s returned quite yet
D but at the same E? by the time in the ghetto comes on i’m still stuck & also upset that it’s over & instantly want to rewatch. i will quite literally never be the same after that movie. i can’t express enough how much it has affected my entire being. i never been so impacted in my life
This was much fun!! thanks again for tagging me to be apart of this @missmaywemeetagain
now idk who to tagggg. i’ll tag you friend @ooshhella hope you have as much fun as i did😁
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arlecchno · 1 year
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5 hours of sleep squad …. i honestly dont know how well i sleep but today i had a dream and alhaitham and kaveh were in it (i only got to chat w haitham tho) i was in this gigantic ass library type thing and it looked so cool , the entire thing was made out of dark brown wood and it was so pretty (i actually had another dream where i was in the same building before where i was running errands around the “school” HAHAH) but yeah since it was a library / school type place i was obviously there to learn shiz and — this is the weird part — the lesson was on dreams !!!!!!! and like bro ?? are my dreams becoming self aware ? 😨 i thought the lesson was interesting but alhaitham tried to gaslight me into not liking it (an exaggeration , he just thought i was lying when i said it was interesting) i think he was supposed to be like ,,, a helper to me in the dream idfk it was funky as hell - sorry for going off on a tangent about my dream LMFAO
WHSJSJ fischl is my baby shes one of the first 4*s i got and i kinda relate to her on some level , i too love playing pretend , but mostly when i was younger id pretty much spend all my recess roleplaying with my friends . trying to imitate my favorite characters is a pastime ive always enjoyed , and it honestly makes me insanely happy when people say i kinda act like my faves (ig its smth i do subconsciously LOL) because its like “WAIT . THEY THINK IM LIKE THIS INSANELY COOL CHARACTER I LOVE WITH A BURNING PASSION ???? [inaudible screaming]” recently ive found myself a new genshin rp friend and . dude . id never have thought that playing as alhaitham would be so goddamn fun . screenies for funnies:
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(making cynos joke was so much fun too so i included it)
bro i lost my mf 50/50 to jeAN on haithams banner - not even a diluc , tall men hate me ig LMAO and it really doesnt help that ive been drained as hell from school lately so ive been slacking w my fricking primo farming ;_;
YESS the fungi event was lovely but tbh … the entire event i was just yelling about how i wanted to see cyno HAHAHAH - i suffer with chronic writers block (/hj) so . like . [dead alex sound]
GREAT NEWS my injury has healed hooray !!
absolutely , escaping school is great , id probably go on more field trips if it didnt mean id have to do makeup work tbh , i hate doing makeup work .
DINGDINGDING ! YOU ARE CORRECT ! the region i was going for was indeed mondstadt ! aster (my oc) lives in mond and is originally from khaenriah , im glad i didnt draw in their face yet because their eyes wouldve totally given away the fact they were khaenriahn LOL
my week was honestly pretty busy (atleast to my tiny brains standards , i feel like you could also tell by how long it took me to send another ask 😭😭) i had two tests today (that i frickin ACED HAHA im so proud of myself) one of my friends and some guy i share a bunch of classes with also gave me pieces of their cotton candy and the guy told me good job for actually doing my work LMFAO (i usually fall asleep in that class … haha ,,) and one of my other friends complained about also wanting food so i called him friendless (even though i thought the guy who gave me a piece of cotton candy didnt like me so i dont think he counts as a friend ??) my friend also recently introduced me to a series they liked and now im practically obsessed because DELICIOUS . i also recently did heizous hangout quest and GODDAMN he - he is so . im so gay for this detective motherfucker i was practically screaming at my ipad … haha …… heizou is honestly so my type he has such a way with words and i DO NOT know why a lot of npcs / characters in game talk about him negatively how do people not like him - yeah but i also almost went on a full genshin lore tangent to my ipad because of my uncontrollable urge to explain things SMH . oh my god the part where heizou said that he wanted us to be his partner all the time and i just straight up actually screamed , yes heizou ill be your partner forever if yk what i mean - HAHAHAH i also made a collection of goofy genshin triangles on one of my friends old schoolwork in math class hehe
aaaanyways id like to return your question ! how have your recent days been ? and if you dont deem anything of note or dont want to share , if you could choose anyone in genshin to share a house / be roommates with who would you choose ? (since these are again two questions , if you want , fire back two as well !) also , dude i have a terrible habit of rambling like crazy , so i totally dont mind if you ramble and stuff in replies (because i do that wayy too much as well LOL)
— jellyfish
HELLOO TO YOU!!!! your dream sounds so funny LOL in the 2 years i've played genshin i've never had any genshin characters appear in my dreams,,, it's always boring ones that revolve around my life. but nevertheless your dream made me imagine how alhaitham would act around you 😭 and the way he tried to gaslight you LMAO he's so cute and goofy
haha i love how enthusiastic you are about fischl!!! we all have that one character that we have an undying love for to the point that everyone you know in life knows them (for me that'd be kazuha,, every time someone sees him it'd just remind them of me hehe)
THE RPS LMAO “i just find you rather annoying.” THAT'S SUCH AN ALHAITHAM THING TO SAY!!! also i'm pretty oblivious so this just made me realize that the denial is a river in egypt tiktok meme is also pointing out the fact that the nile. is a river. in egypt???? i just found out it's a wordplay thing???? denial (the nile)???? damn i really thought it's like a random word being thrown to make it seem exaggerated or something 😭😭😭 i'm really dumb LMAO how did i not figure that out sooner 🙁🙁🙁 the fact that i know the nile is a river in egypt is embarrassing too like it never occurred to me to piece the puzzles together...
man that sucks 😭😭 i remember when you messaged me on genshin talking about it LOL please humbly accept my offer of my c2 diluc to you,,, he's been in my hands far too long and i cannot fathom the fact that he keeps appearing in my 50/50's (tighnari pls come home i beg). i was on a 50/50 for haitham too and the very loud sigh of relief i let out when he finally came home is insane. i've basically farmed everything in the new area (i have 99% exploration progress now due to it) and have milked my welkin for him so i'm glad he actually came home... the things i'd do if diluc appeared in screen instead should be left unsaid 🤗
YAYY GLAD TO HEAR YOU'RE WELL NOW!!!
aster is such a badass name and the fact that they're originally from khaenriah???? awesome as hell. hope they're besties with kaeya because that would be totally legen... wait for it, dary!!!! (cue my love for barney in himym i just had to quote him)
also very glad to see that your week has been going okay!!! would love some cotton candy rn tbh they're so good </3
and heizou's hangout quest.... honestly same. i haven't exactly finished all of the endings but i've done some and it made me squeal and giggle every time he flirted with us 😭 made me feel like a total loser with his charming words bro i can't believe the npcs in game have such negative views on him because me personally if i was in the game, i'd immediately fold for him the second he breathes in front of me HAHA i'm . not weird at all.
my week has been slow actually, i finished my finals a while ago so we have nothing to do now so i've been doing absolutely nothing at school LOL! senior year is coming up soon so i might be more busy and focusing more on my studies... it's sure gonna be hell for me.
and recently i've been packing up my stuff because i'm moving out!! (hence why i haven't posted a new asphodelus chapter lol i've been so busy). it's been rather slow for me tho since i have a lot of stuff and it's kinda hard to choose the ones i'd have to throw or give away because like,, i love all of my stuff 😭 my mom has helped me with some but i still got a shit ton of stuff to declutter. basically everything is a mess rn
other than that, i think everything's been a-okay! i'm just reaally busy with irl stuff now but i think i can survive through them :D (i hope i do because i am one inch away from going insane). also my mom's been trying to convince me to drive lately since i'm supposed to start now but i have been avoiding it,,, it's scary being on the road and i am far from ready to risk my life 😔
as for your question, i think out of everyone, i'd choose kazuha. before you say anything, i'm trying to not be as biased as i can since like kazuha is my favourite character ever— but yeah, i think i can accept the terms of living with the kaedehara kazuha. he's such a nice guy and although he's a very very lightweight and behind all that charming looks he's a pretty scary guy himself (cue that scene where he threatened that treasure hoarder in the archon quest that he'd brand his forehead with hot iron) i think i could actually survive living with him. he'd do his set of chores, i'd do mine, everyone gets their happy ending. if i were to live with my other favs like kuni and alhaitham i think i would just die. kuni would be rude as fuck and alhaitham would just bully his way out from doing our shared chores. i cannot deal with them. (i'm sorry my sweethearts i'll do you two justice one day)
time to give a question to you!!! how's your progress in genshin going? (it can be exploration wise, storyline, anything) and what's your current main genshin team rn :0
hope you're having a great day!!! it was fun talking with you hehe i've been dying to get an ask since the blog has been real quiet lately, and i'm glad it's you! have a wonderful day ahead :P
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problematicfanfics · 1 year
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alright i only just noticed you had a tumblr and felt obligated to say something so
i just want to say that i’m a huge fan of your writing and works, and have been for years. i first found out about your stuff back in november or december 2020 (??) a little bit after I Threw Glass At My Friend's Eyes and Now I'm On Probation was first published, since i had been absolutely in love with tombur at the time and scavenging the ao3 tag 24/7 to see if anything new came out, and i was instantly hooked. i have so much to say about it and no way to put it into words, but the whole general concept surrounding it is so interesting and alluring, everytime a new chapter was posted and i’d read right until the end and then it’d be stuck lingering in my mind for literal days on end. every cliffhanger that was left had me so excited for what was next, excited to see whether wilbur would finally be confronted or not. the fic meant and still means so much to me, it’s taken up so long of my life to the point that its probably something i’ll still remember even when i stop consuming poppy or mcyt content. i’ve been so obsessed with the fic that the song it’s based off of was quite literally my #1 song of 2021 all because of it, and was within my top 100 this year too. i’m legitemately grateful for you writing it, because it both got me into Destroy Boys and gave me so much joy for so long.
this is more an amalgamation of me rambling about how much it means to me, so i apologize about how cluttered and disorganized it is, but thank you for writing. your stuff has helped me with a lot of my life ♥️
i’m gonna cry. i hope u understand that i just finished the chapter today because of this. i literally wrote through a wake at church because of the motivation this gave me. is that bad? probably. but the entire family hated the guy anyways
thank you, you specifically as well as everyone who has stuck around, for, well… sticking around i guess. for leaving me comments, asks, messages, friend requests, texts (to those of u ik well), for motivating me.
it’s been over a YEAR since i updated. and even then, by april 2021, updates were very few and far between. so truly no NEW chapters have really come out and when they do it’s ~1,200 words every three months. but y’all still check in, and not only that, LEAVE COMMENTS. even though it’s been silence since october 23rd, 2021 (i missed oct 22 like an idiot last year AND this year), you guys come back. thank you. it’s been TWO YEARS since the release and i’m no where near done and i’m so sorry to any of you who care enough.
but thank you everyone for checking in, offering help, reading, helping me brainstorm. thank you rad, even though we don’t talk much anymore i have u on snap and i still message u time to time. thank u fello, for being amazing and always supporting me, constantly my #1 supporter and lover. Tater, my love who i message at least once a week, idk where id be without u. and all those “anti”s from 2020 i still talk to to this day, i passed my psych test w a 67% 🦅‼️🙏
i’m blasted. this is long. i had a shit day today, with church and my family being a shit show, and this really made me pick up my head and do what i always do: say “fuck it, we ball” and keep moving on.
so fuck it, we ball, thank you anon.
ANYWAYS here’s some church shit from today i found funny
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literaphobe · 2 years
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You streaming would be such a wonderful thing! Also I think that the concept of fans gathering their community and becoming a "cc" in a more traditional view (because for me you're already a cc, your content is sadf and your blogs and it's great and I love it) is an extremely underrated one. And I wish more people would hype that up. Like, it's much more enjoyable to watch a person you know you would be comfortable with, because of "they're just like me fr" factor and because we already know we are safe in that community, our interests won't be laughed at and we already know and appreciate your opinions and values. With other new non-fan ccs sometimes it feels like we're constantly in trenches and any second could be called a crazy obsessed dream stans who are 10 year olds doxxers, you know, or just hear the worst takes and misinformation. Especially since a lot of them are only showing us their tactical "cc" side of them, so we don't really know their stance on anything. But we know you and we already love you! I don't know if you know them, but FairlyGab is a nice example of a dteam stan becoming a full-time cc and bringing a great community with them. I thinl it's going to be really great with you even occasionally streaming, because we already have trust in you, we know you are smart and talented, we love your work, and we know your anons (even sadf!jack ones) are hilarious, so I already know it's going to be so much great vibes! Really hope I can show up as much as possible and show you my support, you're amazing!
this made my day :( and yeah! i was streaming even before i became a dream stan and well i will admit some parts of the larger tumblr community prob thought i was cooler before i joined this fandom but YEAH streaming is a good way to hang out :) id love to stream myself struggling w games and just talking etc like i played party games today and even tho i still suck at pvp and parkour (because ive never . done it) i got second place!! and was p close to first!! like stuff like that would be fun to do
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am0r · 9 months
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right I have made a resolution lol im not gonna date anybody until 2024 lol 2023 is my year to just chill also im not desperate and I don't think getting w somebody rn is gonna be great for my self development lol. I have a tendency to get obsessive ab them and then start feeling insecure and yk who actually needs that lol? im going to simp over famous ppl and that is enough to make me happy lol I don't want to have anything happen w anybody ik irl bc it messes everything up. also come on we're 16 are we rlly gonna find true love lol. if I can't find love exactly like how my fantasies are, fine then I just won't love anybody at all Iol. ppl can love me for once lol fall at my feet and beg me to return their affections. also like if it's obvious im not looking there's a lot more freedom in what I can say bc if I flirt w somebody they know that it's not real and they won't take it to heart or become uncomfortable lol. I told somebody the other day that if I liked straight girls, I would literally propose to them on the spot if I saw them looking that beautiful, and they said that they would say yes lol. you think I could do that if I had a partner? or even if I was looking for a partner lol? being single is fun and even tho I have my day dreams lol, I won't fall in love w somebody unless they're like exactly who im looking for lol. im not saying im restricting myself I just don't want it to have this much of an importance in my life lol. who cares ab romance? I have my friends to talk to and it's not like id be able to actually act romantically w a partner anyway lol im not coming out to ppl in college and I can't be gay in the streets either lol. they'd just be another friend except I think they're hot. nothing would be different tho lol. also im sick of mushy stuff that doesn't mean anything lol like text messages saying "ilysm you mean the world to me" but like you don't mean the world to them bc they treat you like shit and are only pretending to be hopelessly in love w you bc that's what society expects of ppl. id rather have somebody I can joke around w on a daily basis and have the words "I love you" actually have some meaning left in them lol. im so sick of our generations weird play on what love is supposed to be like lol there's just no passion left in it ppl just get in relationships bc yk that's what you're supposed to do. WHERES THE EMOTION MAN WHATS WRONG W EVERYBODY??? anyways yh im not dating until 2024 lol I don't even want ppl to ask me out bc I will say no. but I do want ppl to try make me fall in love w them bc I can always tell and it's either gonna work lol or it's rlly rlly funny. and also that way the rejection isn't so harsh like you can ease your way into it lol. I had a friend start telling me rlly cheesy pick up lines after I told him I would die if somebody I liked said rlly cheesy stuff to me and it was rlly hilarious to pretend I didn't know what was going on lol. ahh I just think confessions are so overrated lol I wanna look at someone and just know were on the same page lol we don't even have to be straightforward ab it lol there's just moments where we can feel the tension lol. alas I have never had that w anybody and nobody that does hit on me is willing to do that lol. I wish I could magic up the person who's fully perfect for me lol. I need that slow build up lol.
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jurisffiction · 3 years
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is the maker of the casifer confident vid on tumblr we found it months ago on youtube i haven't thought about it since but it sent me into the STRATOSPHERE and spotify just recommended i listen to the song again (no comment) and i've just remembered it and need to rewatch it so so so so badly i'm walking to the doctors now to get a flu vax because there won't be covid vaccines here for years probably so might as well get some sort of jab anyway literally WHATS wrong with being confident!
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shroomi1e · 2 years
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realistic reasons why genshin men are undateable‼️
ft: aether, albedo, razor, diluc, itto, gorou, childe, zhongli, kaeya, xiao (pt 2)
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aether
my man is too busy looking for his sister 💀
as nice as he his, he probs doesn't have room in his heart for a relationship
he travels so much, you'd probably get tired if you don't die in teyvat first
if we're talking ab abyss aether however...
he'd be way too obsessed and focused on overthrowing celestia and the gods
and even if he does have room in his heart for you, don't expect to be the first priority
albedo
let's be honest, he doesn't have time for a relationship
he'd probably get bored once he's done learning everything there is to know ab you
a workaholic, working 24/7
also unless you're a science nerd like him, don't be surprised if he just decided to drop you bc you can't catch up with his science ramblings
id imagine he'd use you for weird experiments like in his story quest
razor
a furry
can't communicate
would probably start barking at you idk
would 100% try to lick you
very overprotective bc of his past
would try to give you dead rabbits and squirrels as gifts/signs of affection like how cats or dogs do
diluc
emotionally unavailable but he's hot so it's fine
if you're more emotional/sensitive then he's gonna make you cry at one point or another bc of how cold he is
has his walls built so high, it's gonna take persistence to take them down
too busy running a whole wine industry + protecting monstadt at night
would be SUPER overprotective, borderline suffocating. he's gonna try to hold on to you until it hurts
he doesn't mean it ofc, he's just scared of losing you (fatherless behavior smh)
he needs to get a lot of his shit together before he can start a proper relationship *cough cough* KAEYA *cough cough*
itto
he's a complete dumbass, just like any other typical himbo
is the type to plan out a whole party and buy a bunch of gifts only to get your birthday date wrong
it's endearing but it might get annoying at one point
definitely gets into a lot of trouble with city authorities, you'd always have to clean up his mess or bail him out
again, he never has bad intentions, but it's gonna get annoying at some point
gorou
another furry
better get used to him talking ab how amazing kokomi is
also gives off overprotective vibes
doesn't have much time or room for you, at least not until the resistance is over
childe
too busy killing people 😘
depending on who you are, dating a fatui harbinger might cause some problems
unless you're cool w trying to drown a whole nation and commiting genocide idk
even though he comes off as friendly, he probably has also built walls like diluc, they're just not as obvious
somewhere deep down he's scared he might end up harming you or losing you, since he's well aware of his position and what he does
(bro did you see that line in his story quest where he says smth like "if i were to quit being a harbinger I'd love to travel the world w you😭)
ok that's enough childe for today, and yes i will be writing a fanfic later
zhongli
this peepaw is hella old fashioned
being the god of contracts, he's gonna expect 100% loyalty, and might get a wee bit possessive, even if it's not obvious
he's just incredibly good at hiding it
being immortal, he might not even try to date you in the first place bc he knows you can't have a "normal" relationship
he'd rather not have you at all than to watch you grow old while he stays the same, eventually having to sit by your deathbed
oh geez that got dark quickly didn't it
but if he does have you, he's not letting you go, even if you don't want him anymore
will probably try to keep you forever bc of the "contract" y'all made😨
someone write a yandere zhongli fic and send me the link pls 😘😘
kaeya
we've all seen him weasel his way out of doing his work
would try to manipulate you with his smooth talk
although his heart is set in the right direction, much like diluc, he needs to get his shit together before he can carry a healthy relationship
also would probably come home drunk a lot
having a "flirty personality" can often be mistaken for flirting with others
so unless you're a holy nun or smth you're gonna argue ab it with him at some point
xiao
bold of you to assume he's gonna even pay attention to you
as we all know, he comes off as cold and standoffish, even if he might not mean it
he's just carrying way too much on his shoulders to also have a relationship as well
his karmic debt as well as the duty of the sole protector of liyue is going to put a burden on him, and he wouldn't want others to share that burden with him
despite how he feels about you, he's only ever going to see himself as a protector, never your partner
because his sole priority is to keep you safe, and keeping you safe means not getting too close to you
might even go out of his way to be mean to you just to make sure you won't get close to him☹️
but even so, he'll be there when you call, since he is your protector after all
a/n: damn the amount of ff inspo i got just from writing a stupid hc...
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dollslayer · 3 years
Text
By Its Cover
Dark!Librarian!Steve Rogers x Shy!Reader, College AU
Summary: Your late nights at the university library spark a chain of events. Will they lead to your undoing? To anyone else's?
W/C: 8,890 (oops, sorry)
Warnings: DARK themes, NO MINORS, stalking, murder, minor character death, smut, angst, unprotected sex, oral sex, alcohol consumption, swearing
A/N: FINALLY, I wrote this for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor's 2 Years of Darkness challenge! This fic kicked my ass but after some months I'm so excited about it! This is my first truly dark fic so please don't read if any of these topics upset you but I do want to make a note that the sex is consensual. If I missed any warnings please DM me immediately and I will add them. Reblog/comment if you liked it! Maybe even check out some of my other fics 👀 Cheers!
Main Masterlist
You stumbled slightly on the uneven pavement as you made the final steps towards the graduate school library. It was always so much quieter than the undergrad library and at this hour there’d be a good chance it was just you and the poor person stuck working the overnight help desk. You didn’t mind that though, you were never an overly sociable person and you preferred to work alone anyways.
You swiped your student ID through the sensor and the little green light granted you entry as you opened the door. Looking around there wasn’t even someone at the desk, just the sound of the always-on A/C rattling the leaves of the fake plants in the lobby.
You moved to put your ID away when it slipped from your fingers and plapped onto the floor, your own face staring back up to you from the plastic. You sighed and swung your bag further back over your shoulder as you bent to pick it up when a pair of legs edged their way into your vision. Caught off guard by the man attached to them, you watched him bend to pick up the piece of plastic.
You both straightened back up to your full heights and you found yourself looking up at him. He had clear blue eyes and sandy blond hair that was swept back. He looked like he could be a model, he was so handsome and you felt like a deer in headlights.
You realized that he had your ID in his hand and was waiting patiently for you to take it. You smiled awkwardly and took it from him. He looked back to your card and read your name out loud and snapped you out of your thoughts.
“Thank you” you said more in surprise than gratitude “Sorry, I just, I could’ve sworn no one was here you came out of nowhere” You laughed nervously, hoping to hide your embarrassment. You were never good with talking to people and once a situation got awkward you just got yourself deeper in it.
“I was just coming around the corner when I noticed you dropped your ID. I actually work the late shift at the desk. Serves me right for applying last minute for work through the university, right?” He asked with a small laugh.
“Late night cram session? You look like your back’s about to snap from holding all those books” He pointed to your bag, the stitches of it’s straps were frayed and had been sewn over a couple of times.
“Yeah, I like coming here late, hardly anyone’s here, I don’t have to deal with people and I can just focus” You explained
“Right, well, sorry to keep you. If you need anything I’m Steve, and I’ll be bored out of my mind at the desk” he smirked and walked back towards reception.
You turned down the hall and thought how strange it was that you’d never seen him here before. It was the middle of the semester so he couldn’t have just started but you were in here all the time and you’d never run into him once. You brushed the thought off and continued on your way.
____
Over the next few weeks you and Steve developed a routine. You’d come in around 10 or 11, you’d stop at the desk and chat a bit and then you’d head up to your spot on the second floor to study. Occasionally Steve would see you when he returned books and you’d joke around a bit before he’d leave you to your work. You were building a good rapport with each other and he was pleased.
Sometimes he’d been too shy to approach you. It made him feel like the scrawny, helpless kid he was before the growth spurt. Beautiful girls like you never looked twice at him but he knows that you’re different, he knows that if you had met him then that you’d never treat him like those girls did. He knows that in time you two could really have something special.
Steve understood that building a relationship with you would take time and balance. He didn’t want to seem too eager but ever since he saw you he knew he’d do anything to just talk to you.
It started some months ago when he was visiting Bucky on campus. They had been hanging out in the quad right by a group of buildings when you tripped on the pavement and your books fell at his feet. He helped you up and even collected your books for you but you were too flustered and embarrassed to meet his eye. You eked out a thank you and scurried into the graduate library.
That moment sparked a blooming obsession within him. The following night he was still in town but he went out without Bucky and staked out where he’d been the previous night and watched you go to the library at the same time you had. The next two nights he did this and quickly pieced together your nightly routine.
Within a month's time he was set to transfer for the next semester and when he did he got a job working night shifts at the library. Bucky had asked him why on Earth he’d want that and Steve had shrugged him off, claiming that he wanted to be paid and didn’t want to deal with anyone. Seemed like a good enough reason to anyone else.
And so that’s how Steve found himself invading your personal space to hand you your ID. He enjoyed the way you trembled slightly in surprise. You looked so small next to him, looking up at him. He nearly forgot what he was going to say, feeling suddenly shy himself. You were so close to him and you were just as beautiful as he remembered.
Take it slow, he reminded himself.
____
Your apartment door slammed behind you as you stormed out of the building. You left in only what you were wearing which was a light hoodie and some leggings. You had thought to grab your book bag before you left and it kept knocking into your side with each angry step you took. Tears streaked your face but you tried your best to brush them off and continued on your brisk walk to the library.
You and your boyfriend had gotten into a fight and things got heated pretty fast, they always did with Sean. You had confronted Sean about being gone so often and so late, you’d missed him and wanted to spend time with you. That’s when he started getting defensive and turning your late nights at the library right around on you.
Things escalated to shouting and Sean had gotten so angry that he’d knocked over a pile of your books from the table. It had scared you and that’s when you left. You knew that you’d be getting nowhere with him when he was so angry. You wanted to be alone and needed a distraction so you grabbed your bag and headed for the library.
You secretly hoped Steve was working, it’d be nice to see a friendly face. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have the tiniest crush on him. He’s handsome and funny and kind and he always knows when to give you space. You wish you’d met him at a different point in your life, you could really see yourself with him in another timeline. Maybe it was just easier to think that having just had a fight with Sean.
You swiped your card and waited patiently for the door to open. You could tell Steve had already spotted you and was looking at you as you passed through the glass doors. He was smiling his same boyish charm smile that made you feel even shier than you already were. You must’ve looked a mess but it was comforting to see him there waiting for you.
“There she is,” Steve said with a smile as he got up from his chair to greet you. His face immediately fell though as he took in the tracks of your tears and your puffy eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Steve looked upset and angry for you. You were touched, but you’d rather leave it.
“I’d rather not talk about it, if it’s okay. It’s nice to see you though, Steve. How’s your night?”
Steve’s jaw ticked but he swallowed and nodded and you were grateful he didn’t push it further.
“Uneventful as usual, it’s good to see you too, doll.”
You felt your cheeks heat at the nickname. If you were on better terms with Sean you’d feel bad but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do anything but giggle.
You said your goodbye to Steve and made your way to the second floor to study.
Hours passed and you had your nose buried in a book when you felt a sudden presence. You looked up slowly behind you and shrieked when you found Steve just inches from you. He held his hands out defensively and tried to catch your breathing.
“Steve, oh my God, I didn’t see you there, you scared me!” You laughed as you caught your breath.
“Yeah, sorry, I uh, have a habit of doing that.” He said as he ducked his head sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. Was he blushing? Why did he look nervous?
“I, um. I was uh, I was hoping to maybe ah, ask you something, actually.” Steve swallowed thickly. He is nervous. You smiled at him and motioned for him to go on.
“I was thinking… maybe, when you’re free if um, would you maybe want to go to dinner? With me?” He stammered out.
You smiled and felt heat flood your cheeks all over again, Steve was gorgeous and you were flattered that someone like him would want to go out with you. Just as quickly as that flattery came dread had instantly replaced it. You had a boyfriend, you couldn’t do that to Sean. Oh God, now I have to turn him down. What if he hates me?
“Wow… I uh, Steve,” you started, “I’m. You’re so sweet, I don’t know what to say. But, I have a boyfriend, I’m really sorry”
“But- but don’t think I wouldn’t say yes, if I could. You’re such a nice guy and I’m really happy for our friendship. I hope this doesn’t make things weird between us, I’m. I’m sorry,” You quickly led up with. You felt so awkward and bad that you had to turn him down.
Steve’s jaw ticked and he looked away. A blush of embarrassment had made its way up his neck and into his cheeks. His fists clenched at his sides and he took a deep breath.
“It’s… It’s fine, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I don’t want things to be weird between us either. You know what? Why don’t we just forget the whole thing? Sorry again.” He finished with a tight lipped smile
You sent an uneasy smile back and nodded.
“Of course, no damage done, Steve.”
With that he left you and you went back to your book. You tried not to overthink the entire situation but couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable.
____
“Boyfriend” the word echoed in his head on a never ending loop with deafening reverb. He nodded curtly at you and smiled. You had your awkward exchange of apologies and excuses. Wordlessly, he made his way back to the information desk. He felt angry but also humiliated, he had spent at least a week building himself up to say something to you and you just turned him down so wholly?
He saw the way you looked at him, the way you laughed at his jokes. Steve knew that he meant more to you than you were letting on. There was attraction there, you were just in denial because you had a boyfriend.
Who even was this schmuck? You couldn’t have liked him that much because if you did then you would’ve mentioned him before but you hadn’t. If you really loved your boyfriend then you wouldn’t have smiled at Steve the way you did or stopped to say hello every night. He needed to see for himself whom exactly it was that was so undeserving of your attention.
Steve checked the cameras and saw that you were packing up your things. He had maybe a few minutes to gather his own things and wait for you. There was someone else coming to cover the library in 20 minutes, it would be fine if he left it alone until then. He decided to make himself scarce from the desk so you wouldn’t have to see him again before you left and you wouldn’t notice he’d be following you.
Waiting for the sound of the double doors to click shut he turned the corner and waited for just a minute. He slunk down the mainways of campus towards the student apartments and stopped just 20 yards away from you up against a wall. You looked so cold all alone in the dark as you buzzed in one of the numbers.
“1B, what the fuck could you possibly want at this hour?” a gruff voice answered over the comm.
“Baby, it’s me, sorry I forgot my keys but you weren’t responding to my texts so” You trailed off as you shivered in the night. No reply came, just the buzzer sounding off. You hurried inside and Steve tried his best to scope out external windows.
Finally the light came on in one of them and to his luck the blinds were mostly open. Through the vertical slats he could make out your entrance and an impeding figure from the hall. It was him, the boyfriend. The guy that was apparently so much better than Steve.
He saw your body language was tense and you opened your mouth to speak but before you could get a word in, your boyfriend was grabbing your face in his hands and kissing you. You looked surprised maybe, but you just let him grab you like that. You just fucking let him.
He watched from his spot against a pillar from the building across the walkway. He clenched his jaw and tried to control his breathing watching this guy, this boy manhandle you like you weren’t something special, something precious. He was disgusted but he couldn’t look away as your clothes were shirked off and you two fucked right there on the couch.
He couldn’t bring himself to watch anymore and stormed off. As he walked back to his place a plan began to form in the back of his mind.
____
Things with Sean were smoothed over. You didn’t really talk, so much as he just fucked you before you could even talk about it. He had kissed you on the cheek after and said he was sorry. So you figured that he was. You didn’t really feel like pushing it anyways.
You made for the library once again, anticipating a long night ahead of you with midterms around the corner.
You let out a shriek as you realized someone was standing over you. Steve was hovering right above you, looking even taller than he already was. You pushed your chair back to get some distance between yourself and him while you caught your breath from the momentary scare.
“Steve, I uh, sorry I didn’t hear you coming, again.”
He leaned himself against the edge of the table and crossed his arms. How had you not realized he was so muscular before? You flushed and scolded yourself for thinking about him like that. You had a boyfriend and Steve was just the nice guy at the library.
He ducked his head shyly and waved your apology off.
“Sorry, guess I’m just sneaky.” He chuckled in amusement but the feeling wasn’t mutual, “I was just up here returning some books when I realized I missed you coming in, thought I’d come say hi.”
“Right,” you replied, “Guess we just missed each other. How’s the desk tonight?”
“Bored to tears as usual, just glad you’re here tonight”
Steve winked at you and you felt your cheeks get hot again and you looked away with a small laugh.
“You always know just what to say, don’t you?”
“Ah that’s not true.” He paused, “I get nervous all the time around pretty girls like you”
You were really in it now. Your cheeks heated instantly and you had to look away from him again. For someone that just got rejected he doesn’t stay down for long. How the hell were you going to talk your way out of this one? He knows you have a boyfriend, why would he say that?
“Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.” Oh, thank God.
He begins to walk back to his cart before spinning on his heel one last time.
“Hey, I forgot to ask. You’re pretty good with art history, right?”
You nod cautiously, afraid that you know where this is going.
“Well, as of right now I’ve got a C. I was wondering if you’d be willing to meet on one of my nights off here and help me out?”
“O-oh. Yeah, of course. No problem. I’m sure Sean wouldn’t mind.”
You were too nice for your own good, saying yes before really thinking it all through. You only realized you had after the words left your mouth so you mentioned Sean to save yourself a bit.
Steve’s eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at you.
“Awesome, you’re the best. Maybe we can get together at that cafe on 3rd next Tuesday around noon?”
“Of course, I’ll be there” You confirm.
____
Tuesday couldn’t come soon enough for Steve. He didn’t need any help in art history, he was averaging about an 87, actually. But when you turned him down he knew he had to find another way to get closer to you and he knew that you’d say yes out of pressure.
All in all things were going pretty well for Steve. Despite your shy nature he’d managed to get closer to you much quicker than he expected. He loved watching you get flustered whenever he was close, finding it hard not to get flustered himself. He was impatient for things to move forward but he knew it would all pan out. There was only one wrench in the plan; your boyfriend Sean.
The other night when Steve had followed you home and witnessed Sean manhandle you in your apartment he began thinking of how to remove him from the picture. Steve did his research on Sean and found it suspicious he couldn’t find anything on him. Usually after a little digging you can find something off about anyone, but not him. Steve knew it would take a little more effort, but for you he’d make it.
So that’s how Steve wound up spending his night off in the corner of the dive bar that was just off campus. Off campus enough that you’d need to drive there. He had tailed Sean’s Jeep there after his club soccer game in hopes of finding something he could actually use to justify getting rid of him for you. He groused as he pulled into the parking garage across the street and pocketed his parking stub. He waited a few beats and watched Sean leave his car.
He slinked in the door and grabbed a dimly lit corner booth. The residue of whatever cleaner this place used was causing his forearms to stick to the table at his booth and the air stunk of vape smoke. He was surrounded by other 20-somethings, awkward Tinder hookups and frat bros meeting up to blow off steam.
On the opposite side of the room he spotted Sean, watched him as he approached the bar for another pint. He’d followed him here in hopes of getting some sort of information on him that he could use. After an hour of nursing one beer and absolutely nothing happening with Sean Steve had been ready to give up.
Just as he was getting ready to down the rest of his drink the door had opened and in walked a girl around his age. She looked nervous but excited as she looked around the place. She nearly squealed as she rushed over when she found who she was looking for. A smile slowly crawled across Steve’s face as the girl rushed into Sean’s arms and embraced him with a kiss. This is exactly what Steve needed to get him out of the picture.
Steve discreetly took out his phone and snapped a few photos, even got a video of them kissing again. He figured this would be enough to blackmail Sean into leaving you. Getting what he needed, he grabbed his jacket and left the bar. He felt light as a feather walking home, his plan was finally setting into motion and it wouldn’t be long until you were together.
Tuesday had finally come and Steve’s good mood only carried over. He practically skipped to the coffee shop you two had agreed to meet at. He grabbed a table and waited for you. When he saw you open the door he was grinning ear to ear but his expression quickly changed taking in your appearance. You looked exhausted, like you’d been crying again. This wouldn’t do.
“What’s wrong? Is it your boyfriend again?” Steve asked.
You nodded silently and set down your bag with a huff.
“He’s just been out really late lately, I feel like he’s never home. Then again I’m always out late.”
“Well I’m glad you’re a night owl, otherwise we wouldn’t have met” Steve tried to turn the conversation back to them and to keep it positive.
“I guess you’re right. You didn’t order anything?” You frowned, noticing his empty hands.
“I was waiting for you, it’s my treat.” You opened your mouth to protest but Steve was quick to add, “Don’t even try to argue with me on this one.”
You sighed but ultimately relented, following him to the counter. He let you order first.
“Um, just a small hot chocolate please, thank you so much”
Steve thought it was cute that you didn’t drink caffeine, he knew hot chocolate was your drink of choice. He knew this of course from hours of pouring over every profile of yours he could find on the internet. He even found your tumblr you were just sure nobody knew about. Turns out you’ve got quite the dirty mind. But that was a thought for another day. Steve turned back to the counter and ordered black coffee and paid the bill.
With drinks in hand you made your way back to your table and settled in for an afternoon of art history. It went smoothly overall and Steve even got you to laugh a few times. He’d perfectly played his balance of pretending not to know about the subject while seeming to be learning what you were teaching. He could tell you felt proud of yourself for accomplishing something and he was happy he could make you feel that way. He was sure he was the only one that could.
You called it a day and said your goodbyes, you went in for an awkward hug which Steve accepted wholeheartedly. He’d even managed to finally snag your number so you two could work out more study times. Maybe you were coming around much easier than he anticipated. He smiled to himself and on the walk home began to devise a plan to get rid of Sean. It’d only be a matter of days if everything went accordingly.
____
You were basking in the rare day off, taking every moment to enjoy doing absolutely nothing. You’d felt drained lately from your class workload, late nights at the library, and your elevating fights with Sean. He was at work today followed by an evening class so you had uninterrupted alone time. Around 10pm it took every ounce of your free will to get off the couch and get the mail.
You milled over to your box and jammed the key in. Pulling the mail out your head titled in curiosity at the large unmarked manila folder. No return address written, only yours but there was nothing indicating whether it was for you or Sean. You’d open it when you got back upstairs.
Finally back to your spot on the couch your fingers slowly undid the folder’s metal clasp and you reached inside for its contents. Out came several photos and a hastily written note. You held the grainy photos closer to your face to make out what they were. When you did your heart plummeted and you went into emotional shock.
Though the photos were grainy it was very clear what they were of. Shots of Sean and some mystery brunette making out in a bar. Sean with his arm around her waist, Sean with his hand on her ass. All the photos were timestamped for only a few days ago when he claimed his soccer game was running late. You dropped them instantly and they scattered to the floor.
Your heart was hammering in your ears, you didn’t know what to think. Sean was the only boyfriend you’d ever really had, Sean loved you, you loved him. Somewhere in the back of your mind you remembered there was a note. You searched for it and tried to read it through the tears that were beginning to blur your vision.
‘I know what you did. You tell her or I will. You have three days’
You didn’t recognize the handwriting. Who would send this? Why would they send it? You and Sean didn’t have many friends and you couldn’t picture them doing this. Maybe this is some prank? Maybe the timestamp is wrong and this is before you were together.
Sean was all you’d ever known and you shared an apartment, it’s not like you’d have anywhere to go or anyone to turn to. Should you confront him with these? It’s not like you two were exactly good at solving your problems. Would he leave you if you showed him these? What then?
Your mind was spinning, unsure of what to do with this new information. Maybe you could keep quiet about this, try to spend some more time with Sean, make him see what the two of you have. Maybe you can ask him to be home more, maybe you could be home more too.
You took a deep breath and wiped your tears before you gathered the photos and put them back into the envelope. You decided you’d hold onto them for now, tucking them away in your drawer of the dresser. Deciding you’d just work yourself up if you stayed up you shot Sean a text goodnight and went to bed.
Morning came and he was snuggled into your side, the comfort you felt had you feeling like everything might be okay for a moment. You stayed in bed just a little longer and turned so he could hold you in his arms. Your heart felt so unsure and scared, but you didn’t know what else you could do.
The week passed by and you decided to shift more of your energy towards your relationship with Sean, pushing your nights at the library to the backburner. You still hadn’t told him about the envelope but you did tell him you missed him and wished he was home more. He relented and was home four nights this week instead of his usual two.
The time together was uncomfortable but you kept telling yourself that things were getting a little better over time, even if your studies were suffering for it. As the week went on you were able to suppress your doubts about your relationship a bit more. Sean loved you and you loved him.
You couldn’t ignore the oncoming threat of midterms forever, though. The last thing you wanted was to be alone because you knew that your thoughts would just spiral but you needed to do well this semester so you grabbed your bag and headed out.
You swipe through the doors, almost looking forward to seeing Steve. You’d blown off your study session with a profuse apology so you could be with Sean. You were eager to apologize in person but found the reference desk to be completely abandoned. You frowned, maybe Steve was putting away books or something. You’d see him eventually though, for now you had an essay to write.
Hours could have gone by and you wouldn’t have known. You were getting so much done though, it felt good to be focused on something other than your own thoughts.
“Where’ve you been?”
You jump in your seat. You turn around to find Steve emerging from the shelves that were just out of your view. He wore a neutral expression but you could cut the tension with a knife. He stepped forward and you debated on what to say.
“Sorry, I had to cancel with you this week. How are you getting along?”
“Nothing another tutoring session couldn’t fix, I’m sure. Were you sick? I feel like you haven’t been here in forever. The nights get awful lonely without ya here”
Why did Steve keep making statements like that when he knew you had a boyfriend? It was driving you insane and getting harder to ignore them.
“Um, no, I was with Sean, actually. But y’know, can’t avoid midterms forever” You gave a half-hearted laugh hoping to lighten things up.
Steve’s neutral expression is slipping, but you can’t tell if he’s angry or not. But his face broke out into a small smile, putting you at ease instantly. He clapped you on the shoulder and took a step back.
“Yeah, guess you’re right. We still on for Tuesday?”
You gave him an easy smile and nodded.
“I’ll be counting the days” With that Steve disappeared back between the shelves.
____
The moment Steve placed the envelope in the mail he felt a confidence he hadn’t felt before. All he had to do was wait for you to open the envelope and everything would take its course. He knew Sean was at work and you’d be the one to get the mail that day. From his spot he’d peered in your windows all those weeks ago he watched you open the photos. You dropped them to the ground and held a hand to your mouth to cover what looked like a sob. Steve smiled to himself, now all you had to do was leave him.
The week went on and Steve figured you might need a little time to break it off and he’d be there at the library, waiting to comfort you. It’s not like you had any other friends in your life to turn to. But then you cancelled your study session with no explanation. Steve figured maybe you were still in shock, needed to cry it out alone. Then two days turned to four turned to seven.
Steve was confused, he was infuriated even. Why hadn’t you come to the library yet? Why hadn’t you texted him? There’s no way that you were actually going to stay with him after you saw him with another woman. Except that’s exactly what he did.
Looking back on it Steve recognized his mistakes. He knew you were shy and meek, sweet, it’s what he loved about you. But he should’ve accounted for this to happen. You were too sweet for your own good, wanting to make it work with Sean. It was an obstacle he hadn’t seen but this is just a slight bump in the plan. He can work around it.
When he saw you coming up the steps on the security camera he made himself scarce, not ready to face you just yet. He gave you some hours to study before he made himself known to you. He could tell just by the way you talked that you were in complete denial about what was happening. You weren’t strong enough to leave him but that’s okay, Steve is strong enough for the both of you right now, he’ll help you get there.
____
Just when you thought things were getting better Sean was back to becoming distant, going out with his teammates and coming home still a little drunk. The more you thought about those photos and thought about how he slipped back into old habits so easily the more you were working up the courage to confront him. You weren’t sure if you’d leave him, but maybe it would make him change.
Then the second envelope came. More photos of them kissing and leaving the bar together. They were time stamped just two nights ago. Your heart fell through the floor as you tried to make sense of things. How much of this could you put up with? When was enough? You needed to confront him when he got home.
You texted him to try to come home early tonight, saying it was important. You spent the rest of the evening planning out your words and trying to quell the oncoming panic attacks. Time passed by in a blur and before you knew it it was midnight and you still had no word from Sean. You couldn’t spend one more minute alone, you needed to get out. You needed a friend.
Your body was on autopilot as your feet carried you up the steps of the library. Steve wasn’t at the desk and you felt almost distressed. You knew he’d be a good third party to talk all this out to and you didn’t know what to think when he wasn’t there. You decided to shoot him a text.
‘Hey, I know you usually work Thursdays, I’ll be at my usual spot, I could really use a friend if you’re not too busy’ Did that sound too desperate? At this point you didn’t care.
You sunk down into your chair on the second floor with a huff. You hadn’t brought your bag so it’s not like you could study to distract yourself. As it turned out you didn’t need to.
“I’m never too busy for you, doll. ‘Specially not at this job” Steve’s voice carried as he rounded a corner into your sight.
You felt instantly better before you realized you were crying. It was hard to be vulnerable but if you could trust anyone with this it was Steve. You gave him a weak smile as he pulled up a chair beside you.
“What’s wrong? Do you need tissues?”
“No, sorry, I just.” You were struggling to find the words. “Sean is cheating on me”
Steve’s hands clenched into fists, he looked absolutely furious for you.
“Are you serious? That bastard! Doll, I’m so sorry. Have you confronted him?” His hand reached for yours and his thumb rubbed light circles.
“I-I, I haven’t said...anything. I just. He loves me y’know? Why would he do that? He’s all I have? What happens if he leaves me where will I stay I’ll be completely alone, I’ll-”
You had worked yourself into a panic attack as you desperately tried to take gulps of air while tears streamed down your face. You were losing touch with your surroundings and spiraling into a place you couldn’t get yourself out of. Steve moved his chair closer to you and brought you into his lap. He held your back to his chest and wrapped his arms around you. You could just make out what he was saying.
“Doll, it’s okay, I need you to breathe with me, can you do that? Take a deep breath in with me. Hold it and count to five with me,” You do but you’re still struggling. “Now exhale, count again for me. You’re doing so well, you can do this.”
Eventually Steve is able to bring you back down to Earth and you slumped back into his arms. You don’t care that Steve is holding you, it feels safe. You shifted so you could lean your head against his chest and let out a heavy sigh. He holds you to himself and lets you sit there for a while.
You don’t know how much time passes but you sit up slowly and he’s reluctant to let you go. You wipe your eyes as you go back to your own chair.
“Sorry, I’m keeping you from your job. Sorry I just totally came here and freaked out” You were starting to feel embarrassed, oversharing your life and emotions with him. You really liked him, you didn’t want to think you’d ruined the friendship.
“Don’t even apologize. You can always come to me.” He gave you a warm smile and you felt reassured. “So what are you going to do about Sean?”
Another hour had gone by with Steve and you could see the sun starting to come through the windows. You had decided you would confront him and go from there. You weren’t ready to fully commit to leaving him but this needed to end one way or another. For the first time in two weeks you felt like things were maybe going to be okay. The next time you saw Sean you were going to confront him.
____
Clearly seeing that you weren’t going to do anything after he sent the photos, he had to go to plan B. Steve waited outside the practice field and followed him to the parking structure once again. He jammed the parking stub in his jacket pocket along with the others and repeated his previous trips here. It was astounding how unaware Sean was of his surroundings, Steve had followed him and that girl from the bar back to her place at least twice now.
Getting what he needed he put another envelope in the mail the next day, this time with no note but the photos were more upsetting. It hurt Steve to hurt you but it’s what needed to be done. You were never going to confront him with things as they were so he had to push the envelope, literally and metaphorically. The hurt would be worth it though, because you came crying to him just like he’d hoped you would. Seeing your text warmed his heart, you needed him and he’d be there. Every time.
He knew he’d be comforting you but he didn’t think that he’d get to hold you. He was hiding his smile as he wrapped his arms around you and brought you down from your panic attack. You did so well listening to him and calming down. He was convinced he was the only one that could help you, you just needed to see that.
Steve abandoned his cart of books that needed to be shelved but he couldn’t care less. He’d stay up all night with you every night if that’s what it took. As dawn broke the two of you devised a plan and he built you up to say something. You weren’t committed to leaving him, which Steve wasn’t happy about, but you were committed to confronting him, if only you’d get the chance.
Based on what Steve knew of both yours and Sean's schedules you’d just miss each other between classes during the day and Sean had a game tonight, which would inevitably lead to a night at the bar. All Steve had to do was wait. He had to contain his excitement, things were finally finally falling right into place, they just needed a final push.
Nightfall came and this time Steve beat Sean to the structure. Steve parked on the top level and stuck the parking stub in his pocket. He didn’t feel like he was taking a risk by counting on Sean to follow routine, he was a good boy, he’d park in his same spot he always did and proceed to get wasted across the street.
A slow smile creeped across Steve’s face as Sean and his teammates stumbled into the bar, probably already drunk from pre-gaming. Sean’s sidepiece wouldn’t come to the bar tonight, her sorority having some dumb mixer or another. Steve reminded himself of his mantra to wait. His phone buzzed and he saw it was a text from you. You two had been texting after you came to him in the library.
‘He’s not responding to my texts. I know he had a game tonight but I really thought he’d be here’
He’d have to text you back another time, Steve needed to be on his toes tonight. He sat at what was becoming his usual booth for nearly two hours, barely touching his pint. Finally Sean paid his tab and said goodnight to his friends. Steve pulled down the brim of his hat and pursued him towards the parking structure. Drunken and fumbling up through the stairwell, Steve entered behind him quietly while taking out a knife he’d stolen from Bucky. He always knew his friend’s strange obsession with them would come in handy someday.
Just as Sean was about to take the final step Steve grabbed him from behind. Sean’s reactions may have been slowed but it hadn’t stopped him trying to thrash out of the grip. His efforts stopped immediately as Steve held the blade to his throat. He spoke clearly and in a low voice.
“Keep walking up the stairs or I will slit your fucking throat, do you hear me?” He brought the knife closer to his neck to drive home the threat.
“E-easy man, please, please don’t do this”
“Keep moving. Up.”
Steve pushed him all the way towards his car at the edge of the top level. He flipped Sean around so his back was to the ledge, the knife still trained closely on him. Pleads for mercy fell on deaf ears.
“What do you wan’!? You wan’ money!? Take, take my wallet man I don’t need it, jus’ please don’t kill me please!”
Steve pushed him slightly, though his grip on him remained tight. Sean struggled against him as his body weight wavered over the ledge. He must have realised how far up they were because he started crying at this point, begging even harder as he teetered and trying desperately to get his bearings against the wall.
“Why are you doing this!?” He wailed, “I’ll do anything, please! Please, I have a girlfriend, I have a family”
That was all that it took. Steve was feeling a high like he’d never felt. He knew at this moment he was doing the right thing for both of you. With a rush of adrenaline and in a flash of certainty he pushed Sean’s body over the edge. He didn’t watch him fall the seven stories down to the ground, but he did wait to hear the sickening crack and thud of his body hitting the ground. There was no way he’d survived.
Blood rushing through his ears, he felt euphoric, so powerful, so in love with you. He climbed back into his car and headed for his apartment. His plan wasn’t quite complete yet though, but everything he needed to do was done. He could watch the rest unfold from the sidelines. He knows you’ll be heartbroken all over again when you find out, but he’ll be there to pick up the pieces.
____
You’d been in mourning for nearly two months. The shock you’d felt wasn’t comparable to any other feeling you’d felt. The police ultimately ruled his death an accident, they performed an autopsy and found dangerous amounts of alcohol in his system. They weren’t able to pinpoint an exact time of death but estimated 2-3 AM, as he’d been found in the morning. They figured he’d just gotten piss drunk and came too close to the edge. And he was gone just like that.
His death weighed heavy on you, you blamed yourself for a long time. He wouldn’t have stayed out if you hadn’t pushed him so far away from you. The last thing you ever said to him was nagging and whiny, no wonder he didn’t want to come home. To think that you were possibly going to leave him. You felt so much self-contempt but slowly you were learning to forgive yourself.
You don’t know what you’d have done without Steve by your side. He was there for you every step of the way. He held you at the funeral, he helped you pack up Sean’s things in the apartment, he took your late night phone calls and came over at the drop of a hat to help you through your grief. You were eternally grateful for his selflessness and his willingness to help you heal.
Guilt loomed over you once again as the old feelings you’d had for Steve in the early days of your friendship started to flare up again. It felt natural to feel them, with him being closer to you than he ever was, but it didn’t stop you from feeling shame over it. You had to remind yourself that you weren’t culpable for anything that happened, that Sean himself was interested in someone else when he’d died. You had to forgive yourself for these feelings for Steve. Maybe even pursue them.
‘Can you come over tonight? I think we should talk’ Your nerves were on fire from the rush you got sending him that text.
‘How about you come to my place? 7? We can go for something to eat if you want.’ Your heart was fluttering, was this a date?
‘Sounds good :)’
Checking the time you saw it was 4, you spent the next few hours obsessing over what to say. No matter what you were determined to tell him your feelings for him. You were debating whether or not you should kiss him. Would he even want you back? What if he only sees you as a friend now? The hours whiled away and you took a deep breath before setting out.
You’d been to Steve’s apartment only once before, you knew he lived alone but he’d managed to make the place feel homey. You were buzzed in and before you had the chance to knock on the door Steve had it open and was waiting for you. His smile was all teeth and it was contagious, you smiled back looking up at him and he let you in.
You sat down on the couch and waited for Steve. No turning back now. Deep breath. He sat down and turned to face you.
“What did you want to talk about?”
No words were coming to you. Your mouth opened but you could only sputter. Oh God, where were the words? Do something!
So you did. Before you could think about it you put a shaky hand up to Steve’s jaw and pulled him in for a kiss. You didn’t know what you were feeling, you were just waiting for Steve to respond. You began to pull back but before you could he took your face in his hands and kissed you back tenderly but with purpose. Your arms were around him and he pulled you closer into his lap to kiss you more passionately.
You finally pulled apart to catch your breath. You snuck a look up to his face and you were nervous but you felt like you were floating.
“You have… no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” He said between breaths.
You two smiled like idiots and he brought his lips to yours again. The kiss deepened and a moan slipped from your mouth. This seemed to spark something in Steve and his hands shakily moved over your body. He was feeling every curve of you and you ground down into his lap and his hips bucked up in response. You have no idea where this confidence came from but you’d never felt more sure of yourself. You broke apart again and Steve was breathing heavily.
“Is this what you want?” He asked. You could only nod before he was on you again. He pulled you up from the couch and led you to his bed. This time he laid you back and was hovering over you, slowly undoing the buttons of your jeans. You helped him get yourself out of them and pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you in just your bra and panties. How was this happening? Who cares?
He sat back and took the sight of you in, he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing. He slowly removed his clothes and moved back over you, kissing his way up your thighs before pulling your panties down your legs. He continued laving away at your skin, making you nervous but excited. His fingers brushed your core and he brought them up to his face.
“Sweetheart, you are dripping.” Your cheeks heated instantly as he chuckled. Not giving you the chance to respond he dove right in. Two fingers entered you and you arched your back, his tongue lapped up your wetness and then at your clit. You’d really never known pleasure like this, no one had ever done this for you before. His fingers pumped in and out of you and your hands flew to his hair and pulled. He continued on and curved his fingers just slightly and you clenched down around him, you were so close.
“Please, I’m so close” you whimpered.
Steve doubled his efforts and before you knew it the tension he had been building up was released in a white hot flash of ecstasy. You writhed against his fingers as he kept pumping them into you. Finally he relented, pulling them out and licking them clean. You’d never seen something that made you feel so filthy but so so good.
He took off his boxers and encased you in his arms. He kissed your neck and you moaned again at the feeling. You spread yourself for him and he lined himself up and groaned. The stretch was something you weren’t ready for. It burned almost, you cried out as he put his whole length in you. He waited all of two seconds before he began thrusting into you. You weren’t ready but you were adjusting quickly with the way his cock hit that spot inside of you over and over.
You were holding onto his shoulders, nails digging in deep as he started to go harder and faster.
“I’m close” He panted into your ear.
Reaching down his fingers found your clit and started moving back and forth quickly, trying to match his thrusts. The tension was building again to a breaking point and you were getting close again. He worked you even harder until you broke, cumming for a second time. Your eyes were screwed shut in ecstasy as you cried again.
“Steve!”
That was all it took before he slammed into you a final time, you could feel his release and you’d never felt closer to him. His movements stopped and your noses touched. He kissed you hard before rolling off of you.
“That was… oh my god” you breathed.
“I know, me too” Steve chuckled. “So can I take you to dinner?”
“Nothing would make me happier,” You grinned wide and nodded.
You cleaned yourself up and redressed. You were taking in Steve’s room and found yourself smiling at the photos of him and Bucky, little knick-knacks on his dresser. You found a sticky note on the calendar at his desk. You squinted. Had you seen his handwriting before?
You shrugged and flopped yourself back on the bed. You checked the weather on your phone and frowned at the temperature, you let out a small groan.
“What is it?” Steve called from the bathroom as he cleaned up.
“It’s so coooold and I forgot my jacket” You pouted.
“Just take mine, it’s the brown leather one hanging in the living room” He was so sweet.
Gingerly, you made your way into the living room and found the jacket, slipping it on. You don’t know what was taking Steve so long but you shoved your hands in the pockets and waited for him. You felt something in the right pocket. Is this trash? You pulled out little wadded up pieces of paper and unfolded them.
They were parking stubs. They were from the same structure that Sean had fallen from. Your heart was pounding, upset just thinking of him. Looking closer one of them was stamped for 2:15 AM, 2/1, the night that he died. Okay...
1 AM 1/15, 11:57PM 1/28, They matched the timestamp on the photos that had been sent to you. Two others were from nights when Sean had games and had stayed out late. Your heart was in your throat and tears were forming in your eyes, trying to find some explanation. You thought again of the first time you’d received an envelope, those photos, that note. It had dawned on you why the note looked so familiar… The handwriting! Oh, God... Your whole world slowed down as you heard footsteps bound into the room. Slowly you turned, the stubs still in your shaking hands.
“Oh, Sweetheart,” Steve took a step further, “You weren’t supposed to see those.”
979 notes · View notes
soobasaur · 3 years
Text
are you mine?
— a lee minho au
genre: enemies to lovers minho x gender neutral!reader
a/n: this is for my bestie who has been in a minho obsession lately and needs more content, you know who you are :]
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« masterlist
you and minho didnt exactly,,,get along very well for a while
the only reason you both even knew each other was two of your best friends were dating and merged ur friend groups
(thanks a lot binsung 〴⋋_⋌〵)
you wouldnt go as far as to say you hated him
but you liked to pretend you did
you just barely saw him around so why not just mke him your mortal enemy??
it was easier to hate him then admit he was decent company!!
you had a reputation to uphold!!!!
and apparently he did too because he never really disagreed,,,,
you guys just ever had a chance to get off on the right foot and really talk
mutual disagreement <33
the thing is, the both of you were never left alone together
like ever
until that one time yall were abandoned (-д-;)
you and ur friend groups planned a hang out but everyone ended up cancelling last minute with no excuse
it was just you two who didnt get the memo and ended up alone
now that you think about it,,,that sounds like smth ur friends would do on purpose
(again, fuck u binsung!! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ )
so just picture this,,,you and minho both showing up to an arcade and sitting in silence for an hour before getting a text that everyone cancelled
your immediate thought was to go home bc why would minho want to hang out with you???
but after the both of you read the text in the groupchat he got up and made his way inside, holding the door open and quirking his eyebrow up at you
“well, are you coming or not? I wanna try the new vr game.”
and you were just like \\(⊙︿⊙)// ???
he? wants?? to hang out??? with just you????
but u ended up following him in and he paid for your guy’s tickets ≧◡≦
“just buy me lunch after and we’re even”
lunch??? now this mf wants to get lunch together?!$%
you learned one thing about minho that day
he was,,,competitive,,VERY competitive
like what demon possessed him kind of competitive
whenever he won he would flash you a smirk and skip to the next game as he dragged his row of tickets along
it INFURIATED U!!!
ur pride was in shambles
so you unleashed everything after that and won a good amount of games ;)
u had been eyeing a cute cat plush the entire time but u didnt have enough tickets at the end :((
o(╥﹏╥)o damn it capitalism u just wanted a plushie
you didnt rlly want anything else so you gave your tickets to minho and waited to the side for him to get his prize
he came out with tHE SAME PLUSHIE YOU HAD BEEN EYEING \\( ಠ_ಠ)//
but before you could sulk about it he handed it to you and started to make his way to the exit O(≧▽≦)O
and during lunch this bitch ended up paying even after saying you should (`ε´)
\(▰˘◡˘▰)//\\ (▰˘◡˘▰)//\\ (▰˘◡˘▰)// \\(▰˘◡˘▰)//
After that...hang out if you will,,u started to notice minho everywhere
LIKE E V E R Y W H E R E
why was this bitch all over your college campus?
you never noticed minho was in ur class for the longest time jsskkfk
like all of a sudden u just spotted him out of the corner of ur eye and were like o h
once he noticed you too there was no going back
say good bye to paying attention in class
(as if you ever did anyways)
he started to inch closer to you during class
he even started sending you notes
ಠ▃ಠ and u were so paranoid the professor would catch you
but this bitch was slick so u were fine
ヽ(๏∀๏ )ノ
he was the type of guy to throw little crumpled sticky notes at you whenever he wanted to say something during class
they’d be covered with doodles of cats and his scribbly messy handwriting + little hearts
it was usually just some dumb thought he had or a crude drawing of the professor (. ゚ー゚)
other than those few notes you guys never really talked outside ur friend group
there was one incident late at night tho
you had a big project coming up and it was 2am and you were...2 sentences in T_T
you deserved a coffee break <3
so that was how you found under the awning of an all night coffee shop
except it wasn't all night and closed right after you got ur coffee!!
and now u were stuck under the awning!!
all you had was your measly hoodie that you stole from changbin and your now soggy cup of coffee as you waited for the rain to pass
you might as well of just stayed home since ur wasting all this time you could’ve been working on your project standing outside
were you gonna work on the project once you got home? no
but did the thought of wasted time still make you mad? yes
you slumped against the shop as you bitterly drank your coffee, crushing the cup between your hands
after a couple minutes you felt the rain above you stop
you look to your side to see,,,minho?!
this mf was holding an umbrella above your head
“here, take my umbrella.”
thats when you noticed the cafe uniform he had on
“you work here?” you asked, before taking the umbrella from his hand
“yeah, your observant ass didnt see me literally make your coffee,”
“oh whoops,,,i thought you hated me, why are you giving me our umbrella?”
“i do, but id rather you uh...not die in the cold looking like a dead rat.”
was it just you or were his cheeks dusted pink?
probably the cold
(y/n you dumb bitch-)
you both walk back to your dorms after that
and he insists you carry the umbrella
cus his poor arms are tired from making coffee all day :((
and maybe it's an excuse to be closer to you
since hes a bit taller he has to crouch and scoot closer to you in order to not get wet >_<
⊙﹏⊙ ⊙﹏⊙ ⊙﹏⊙
over the next few weeks your find urself at the cafe he works at more often
one time you got the hours wrong and he wasnt on shift :(
but when you got up to leave he walked in and spent the day helping you study instead of working
you went for the coffee!! not for him!! definitely not,,,
(¬‿¬)
“look, im only hanging out with you cus you get the employee discount.”
“sure, and not cus you enjoy my company-”
“i 100% despise your company.”
ok but u didnt
u actually /REALLY/ liked his company
like WTF
where has he been all ur life
ew that sounded too romantic
but like fr where was he hiding
(・ε・`)
soon you both were joining binsung on their dates
but it wasn't a double date!!
it was just four friends hanging out and two happened to be a couple
and they liked to hang out at fancy restaurants and do couple like activities
totally normal!!
there was one incident where you were about to pay for your meal but minho placed his hand on top of yours and slid his card instead
“you can pay on the next date.”
NEXT? DATE??
excuse me sir what do u mean-
you ignored changbin and jisung’s snickers behind you the entire night
when minho walked you home you couldnt help but let urself blurt out
“was this a date?”
minho gave you an incredulous look
“...was it not??”
oh my god this is embarrassing
“OH MY GOD WAS IT NOT?!!”
you ignored how minho was now turning crimson red and panicking and tugged on his collar, pulling him down for a kiss
“it was...a date” you mumble, now shy at the close proximity between the two of you
“...im gonna kill jisung.” he muttered, pulling you in for a hug, “he told me this was a double date”
“that can be our next date, the murder of our best friends.”
“wow i am in love with you.”
\(^○^)人(^○^)/
minho and y/n murder besties!!
for legal reasons that is a joke
( ˶˘ ³˘(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)♡
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thank you for reading !!
479 notes · View notes
hariosborn · 3 years
Text
 sirius black fic rec list!!
okay but imagine having sirius black fall in love with you...a concept 😌
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the feeling that we’re meeting again by @writesowhatnext
cross house relationships!!!!! literally yall are missing out if you project yourself into the same house as your lover!! you’re missing out on the tension, the passion, the romance!!! and once you get out of hogwarts and that tension is still there!!! post hogwarts sirius!!! hes so hot!!! and grumpy >:) you can never go wrong with slowburn fics!! 
the risk of love by @with1love1anu
ive been following anu for foreeeeeever and she never fails!! her writing is always so good and shes one of my favorite marauders era writers <33 you’ll see as you go down this list - but i love pining fics like im obsesssssed!! ooo and this one has a hint of best friend james and it just makes the story 10x better! 
breakfast in bed by @wondernimbus
when authors are 14 years old but can write flawlessly even though i struggle doing simple short stories in english class 😘not but fr ysa is such a good writer xx. breakfast in bed! what would yall eat 🤔if we’re talking abt english food (like food from england) idk what they eat over there tbh but i would pick roasted potatoes and waffles for breakfast :) wait actually no i wouldn’t, id probably do french toast with powdered sugar, strawberries, and french fries. ik it sounds weird but i had that the other day and i teared up, it tasted so good. but in this fic they have something even better!! have you ever wondered what it would be like to have toast, strawberry flavored muffins, and fruit for breakfast, all from the comfort of your bed, with the one and only sirius black? well look no further bc this fic has that and everything more!! 
godmother by @blisfvll
jen does it again!! coming through with the godmother!reader x godfather!sirius fics <33 (shes on this list three times bc she just writes so much good sirius content 😫) not to be morbid but when im gone i want someone to talk abt me the way sirius talks about the reader 😔i just love the way the sirius talked about her so lovingly and treated her like this ethereal being and painted her like this angel bc that must be so comforting for harry knowing that not only are his parents looking after him but his angel of a godmother is too ♥︎
oh shit + pt2 by @im-a-writer-right 
big brother remus am i right! as the oldest child, i love reading fics where im the younger sibling bc i just want someone to be able to look after me and care for me and be protective abt who i date bc they’re like “ i just don’t want you to get hurt” 😔 but anyways - this was a rlly cute and funny fic! i love snarky sirius and butthead james and overprotective remus and scared of falling for her brothers best friend reader :) if you like those all too you should read this one 😌
warnings by @blisfvll  
i felt like i was watching a short film! i loved this one! its so well written that you can like watch the play by play of everything happening in your head, like its sooo good! im sorry i keep putting so many angsty fics on this list 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 they’re just all so beautifully written and jen is such an amazing writer <33 
just a natural fact by @iliveiloveiwrite 
MILLIE!! YOU DID IT AGAIN!! guys if you are not following millie pls do i freaking love her sh*t and shes so far been on every fic rec list ive made :)) back to the review tho! im a very big fan of those timeskip fics like where theres a scenario for every year at hogwarts - and this one is one of those and i just - AGHHHGH!!! idk if this counts as a slowburn but like as someone who injects themself into the hogwarts timeline and pretends to be studying for her NEWTS when shes really doing AP work - i love reading about study sessions w remus where sirius tries to interject himself so he can be close to you 😊i dont want to spoil anything but like the tagline “Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break.” RUINED ME!! and you know what! i’ll do it again! i will read this fic and let it ruin me three more times and ten more times and however many i feel like! so yes, if you couldn’t tell, i love this one, and you guys should totally read it
die for you by @blisfvll 
i like to torture myself with sad fics so now im passing them along to you so we can all cry together ;( domestic life with sirius is something so very personal to me 😌so ofc i jumped at the idea of being harry’s godparent along w hubby sirius! but do not be fooled by my review - this one is sad - but its totally worth it!!! the things we do for baby harry am i right?? i am right 😌
wrapped around my finger by @remusishotterthansirius
jealous sirius jealous sirius jealous sirius!! oooo and when he growls >:)) i love the idea of being like this unattainable magical being in sirius’s eyes and you’re just like completely unaware of his feelings and it just adds to the mystery about you like imagine him sitting with the marauders by the black lake and him picking at a flower being like “she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not” and then him being all sad and pouty once the petals are all gone and he was left with ‘she loves me not’ :(( but  n e  ways - this was so cute and so masterfully written and i just love everything this author puts out so do not be surprised if you see at least one of their works on every single one of my hp fic rec lists >:))
misunderstandings by @imagineitup
oof this one really played with my heart! you know those fics where someones feelings are painfully obvious and you just want the other person to finally realize so they can both be put out of their misery and then go on to have this cute relationship BUT NONE OF THAT CAN HAPPEN UNTIL THEY COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF BEING LOVED!!! i love those fics and this is one of them :)))
thats all for my recs! sorry this ones so short - ive been drifting in and out of life, and school has been hard for me. there was a lot more to this list but a lot of my favorite writers have left tumblr so i dont have as much to share w yall 😔and theres obviously so many more amazing writers out there, im just sharing what i know! i’m thinking of just finishing up the other fic rec lists i have and then im going to move over to anime recs! ive been obsessed w haikyuu lately and theres a lot of fics i want to share with others - so if you guys don’t stick around for that i totally understand - but don’t worry im not making that switch till much later ✌🏼love you all so much! hope you’re all taking care of yourself, but dont worry if you’re not, its always a process so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get stuff done and make sure to celebrate what you do get done! congratulate yourself when no one else will, and remember i’ll always be in your corner cheering you on! 
happy reading!
- love, hari !!
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bakubabes-tatakae · 3 years
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Request by @usuratonkachiuchiha​:  Hi bb, can I request some renji smut ? 👀 in honor of our mans birthday id like to request something nasty w jealous renji x fem reader 😏 maybe reader is ichigo’s bff or ex crush/gf or something but they’re still close and it drives renji crazy? Ughh i love renji so muchh he’s definitely in my top three of bleach men id sell my soul for lmao
Hello bby. Of course I’ll write some Renji smut for you. I’m OBSESSED with my mans Renji so I’m always happy to do that. I love writing smut for him as much as I love writing smut for Dabi. So here it is, I hope you like it. 🥺❤
Claimed || {NSFW} Renji x Reader
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Warnings: smut, jealousy, 18+ content, claiming, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, dirty talk, daddy kink
Word Count: 900
As you took a bite of your ramen you couldn’t help but laugh at the orange-haired man sitting across from you. Ichigo Kurosaki had been your best friend since he had been introduced into your life by Rukia. And there was one person that wasn’t too happy about it. But he wasn’t happy about any man that was in your life that even remotely made you happy. Renji Abarai was one of the most jealous men you had ever met. 
You could feel his brown orbs piercing into you as he watched you. The intensity in his gaze almost made you want to stand up and say something. It had been years and he still acted this way. 
If you hadn’t been sitting in the common area of Squad 6’s barracks you probably would have. That was the only thing keeping you back. You knew that Renji was stronger than you and you didn’t want the hassle. Ichigo had just come for a visit and it had twisted Renji’s entire mood. 
Ichigo placed his soup spoon on the table and glared back at Renji. The two of them had never gotten along, that was nothing new. They fought like brothers, but if you asked if they liked each other it was an instant no. He cleared his throat and wiped his face with his napkin. “You know he’s staring again right?”
You sighed loudly, hoping that Renji would hear you. “Yea, I know. He’s a baby. Just ignore him.”
“It’s hard to ignore him when he’s glaring at me like I’m trying to bring you home with me.” Ichigo raised an eyebrow at you. 
You turned and looked at the crimson-haired man, narrowing your eyes in hopes that it would make him leave. “Maybe he’ll just go away if we don’t pay attention to him.”
Ichigo huffed. “You know as well as I do that Renji Abarai doesn’t work that way.”
As you approached him you could feel the anger radiating off of him. You placed a hand on his chest and smiled, playing with his robes. “Renji… why are you staring at Ichigo and me?” 
He cleared his throat and glared over at the orange-haired man. “You know I don’t trust him alone with you. Not one bit.” He placed his hand on your chin. “And I’m gonna show him that he doesn’t stand a chance when it comes to my girl.” He tilted your head up and placed his lips to yours. 
Your lips danced with his and you could feel Ichigo’s piercing eyes on you. Renji broke the kiss and grabbed your hand, dragging you down the hall behind him. He looked for the nearest closet and when he found it he opened the door and pulled you quickly through it. His hands were on you before you could even find your bearings. 
You giggled as his lips met your neck. “Renji… what’s gotten into you?” 
His lips trailed up your neck and stopped at the base of your ear. “Daddy needs to show you who you belong to. Clearly, you’ve forgotten.” 
You were confused by his words, but as his hands wandered more you forgot all about it. He grabbed the waist of your pants and pulled them down before wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you from the ground. Renji pinned your back to the wall of the closet and fumbled around with his pants to get his erection free. 
As you felt his hand underneath you, lining himself up with your entrance his words rang through you. “I hope you’re prepared for this.” With a rough thrust pleasure coursed through you. The shelf on the wall beside you shook as Renji pounded himself in and out of you.
“God, you’re so tight.” Renji’s deep voice filled the small space around you. “Fuck.” His nails dug into you as he gripped onto you. 
“Shit…” His name left your lips as you let your head hit the wall. Euphoria coursed through your body as you tried your hardest to hold out a little longer. 
“Don’t worry doll,” He bit your lip and slowly pulled. “Daddy will take good care of you.” His hand wrapped into your hair and tugged. “Come for me, baby.”
At just the sound of his words, your walls clenched around him. A strangled sound from his throat followed as he emptied himself out inside your cunt. He slowly let your feet hit the ground again and pulled up his pants. When you reached for your pants he stopped you, pushing you against the wall again. His hand slowly rubbed over the fabric of your panties and he lifted them back up. “You better pull those up quickly and keep that in there darling, because if any of it escapes we’ll be doing this again.”
Your knees grew weak at his words and he finally let you pull your pants up. You attempted to walk around him and when you went to grab the door handle when he grabbed your arm. “What’s the matter Renji?”
His lips pulled up as he thought about how he had just claimed you. “Make sure you sit in what we just did the entire time you’re with Ichigo. No wiping it away.” He winked as you rolled your eyes and opened the door, leaving the man in the closet to gloat to himself. 
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hey dils!! was listening to sunshine riptide and thought of u so i wanted to say i hope ur taking care and also ask if u have any favorite fob videos/interviews?? lately i have been obsessed w the promo video patrick did for the honda civic tour where he drove around LA and said the only reason they got the tour was because he already drove a civic ahsjdbd
first of all it is SO flattering that listening to sunshine riptide made you think of me 🥺
secondly i was molded out of clay to answer this question, 100% i have a lot that i think about like way too often
the one where petes giving a tour of his parents house where he lived at the time and was showing off his stuff and was particularly very excited about the fact that his band was turned into action figures and then half way through andy shows up and is like "were best friends forever!" and petes like "yeah andy comes over for sleepovers a lot, we hang out in my basement and make zines and stuff" and then at the end he gets all excited cuz he hears his moms car pull up and he goes out and shes coming out of the car and then patrick gets out of the car carrying groceries and petes like "here mom me and patrick can put the groceries away you finish the interview" and shes like "no- pete i just got home from work im a mess" and hes like "what? no! no mom you look great, you can finish the interview well take in the groceries" and then she did and the camera crew came back to the two of them messing around and putting groceries away.
"pete wentz is honestly the only way to describe pete wentz. hes the most complicated guy i know." [cut to] "if anyone can make a strike without touching the lane i will pay you $300" *throws bowling balls straight into the air* *runs down the lane*
ok but in all seriousness i love that interview not only for that iconic moment but because later the footage is like blaring i dont care and pete goes and grabs a stuffed giraffe out of the prize thingie and hes like "what do you mean :)? we bought this with our tickets!!" and the editors are very much trying to make it a bad boy rebel without a cause moment except if you looked the woman behind the counter had a smile on her face and was laughing and then afterwards he gave it back and said "we werent really gonna steal it" but it really seemed like she knew that already
and then at a different point a couple fans showed up and they were all shy and excited to meet him and he was just like "hey are you guys coming to the show later" and they were like "yeah" and he was like "cool! thanks for coming out :) do you want a picture?" and they took a picture and it seemed like he was still kinda excited that people were excited to meet him. marcus (their bodyguard) was like trailing behind him and smiling and laughing throughout most of these antics and i just think thats sweet.
later in this same interview once again as they were on the ride back to their hotel or whatever theyd brought back a fake moustache and patrick put it on and did a bunch of dumb impressions.
patrick: if i wasnt doing music i think id be like a music critic or music journalist or something
andy:...i thought you said youd work at walmart
theres this one srar era interview thats just joe and patrick riffing for like 15 minutes. like it looks like they just straight up forgot the interviewer was there its so funny theyre such good friends.
this one joe and pete interview where i dont even really remember what they were talking about but theres a moment where joes talking about music with this intense passion and pete just kinda looks at him with this level of brotherly pride that keeps me going
this one andy and pete interview where 1) there were waterfowl chillin behind them which was deeply fascinating to andy and 2) they took a moment to swivel their chairs and hug each other bc theyre besties
band superlatives, specifically the moment where theyre all separately like "technically marcus isnt in the band but like. its marcus." bc that was sweet, unofficial 5th member of fob. and also "whos the most talented" "patrick. patrick. its patrick, hands down." "hm. petes like a really good soccer player" like thats a moment out of a fucking sitcom
halloween asmr with pete wentz. the man cant act but god can he commit to a bit.
there was this like live text chat that they all were in with fans on some radio station website. there were a lot of very fun moments, including joe saying "this is very current technology." as a comment on how very dated the live chat was and andy being like "can we set an icon i wanna change mine to an XVX" and pete and joe being like "oh are you vegan straight edge? we had no idea." and then pete was like "actually i wanna change my icon to andy hurley" and andy was like "no pete im not gonna send you a picture of me" and he was like :( and then a minute later he changed it to andy and he was like, and i swear this is almost a direct quote "BOOM! i love my life haha" and andy was like "goddammit" like i have no idea where to find this but it was so good.
theres this one "this or that" interview with joe and andy wherein the interviewer was a woman and like she seemed pretty at ease around them and got to the last question and imo seemed kinda uncomfortable and kind of established (in a way that seemed like she didnt usually do that) that it was a gross question, which was "would you have sex with a super hot celebrity but shes just died" and both of them were like "hey. what the fuck. absolutely not." and shes like "oh thats a first" and they are both like "do people say yes to that????????" and shes like "youre literally the first people to say no haha" in a way that made it seem that she did not find it funny and i just find that to be an interesting moment and i hope shes doing well and has a better producer now.
theres this one interview w andy on a hardcore podcast where the interviewer asks andy "do you every wish fall out boy were more political?" and he said (paraphrasing) "fall out boy is political, in its own way. we may not be as explicit with our politics as my other stuff, but kids find fall out boy, and through me, with all my other bands, or through joe, since he does a lot of metal, find heavier stuff, and are introduced to this stuff and to being vegan straight edge or anarchist or just more radical politics, and i dont think that just because we arent being super political in our music we arent a political band" which was really something to me bc i had just been thinking about that as a concept i call "gateway punk"
theres this one interview i recently found of a very small chicago music news outlet where a young lady interviewed pete and asked far more interesting questions than any other interviewer id ever seen and one such question was how he felt about the legalization of marijuana in illinois and he said that it was cool that it was legal but everyone locked up for it right now should be released and i like that he got to be political
theres a moment on the badass jew podcast episode joe was on where the interviewer whomst i do not recall was espousing some veiled antiblack sentiments wrt some antisemitic comments some famous black people had made and joe just completely rebutted it immediately and pointed out that black people not only are not a monolith bht are at a greater disadvantage
and also he made a joke that i could never make and cant fully get bc im not jewish but it was very funny and i love hearing people make jokes that arent for me.
this one interview before patrick had kids where he was saying how everyone kept asking him and elisa when theyd have kids and he was like "you cant just make that happen yknow? how do you just do that?" and pete immediately grinned and leaned over and mock whispered "you have sex" and patrick punched the air and was like "i hate you so much"
that one interview about abap where pete was like "we actually got the guy who did the whistles on patience by guns n roses to do it on this" and then he looks over at patrick and patrick shakes his head and petes like "you couldnt let me have this?" and he was like "i was gonna but then you looked at me and i just couldnt."
"whats the most important thing to you right now?"
patrick: star wars
joe: my daughter.
patrick: ...my son?
the puppy interview. everyone involved including the puppies was having the time of their goddamn life.
i have to stop this is too much its been like an hour
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synthlet · 3 years
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tell me one of your niche interests id like 2 hear
UOOMM i haveso many... what to talk about.. ive talked about it before but as a kid i was obsessed w the game petz 5 by pf magic. thats why i made all those half life mods for it last year and i still rly love them. the games have not lost their charm at all and the programming and development of them is rly interesting to me. did you know that pf magic’s designer and programmer, andrew stern, was one of the people who made façade ? and the co-founder of pf magic, rob fulop, worked on night trap. the controversy surrounding which inspired him to try and make a game that was the complete opposite, as nonoffensive as possible (cute pupy kity game)
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windstormwielding · 3 years
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「 ...Hatchling. 」
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“...haven’t heard your gruff old voice in some time.” Kōtarō’s posture straightened when he heard his blade address him. For an instant, it felt like the old shack that made for his childhood home and present surroundings blinked out, and he found himself pulled back into the sea of clouds that made for his inner world.
It was only for an instant, but the sight stuck with the Lieutenant all the same: the sky above him there wasn’t a clear, sunny blue. Clouds, ones at his feet and ones on high, were a charged black, threatening to burst with lightning and roar thunder at any given moment, and moving overhead and below with speed.
「 11 years will have passed soon. 」
“...yeah.” Now that was a comment from his projected instinct Kōta felt he could have done without, leaning back against the old wall and letting out a huff that came out more tired than he intended. It was one thing that he already trained himself ragged, with newer, deeper scars torn into the earth and cliffside alike outside proving as such, but while he would’ve appreciated hearing the often silent Hai’iro Ranmaru speak, it was another to be casually reminded of the looming anniversary of the Great Soul King Protection War.
Reiō, he always hated that name for it. They were more fighting for their own lives, their survival as a collective, than that of a faceless, nameless lynchpin. While Kōtarō found it easier to process those events in the decade-plus since, remembrance still stung. Fear and helplessness unlike anything he felt. Losing too many relationships in one fell swoop than can ever be counted. The death of the one man he respected and looked up to most, whom he only wanted to make proud one more time before his untimely demise. Oh how distraught he had been, in repressing the resulting despair as much as he could and sinking himself into his work, into bettering himself in case-
「 Why? 」
“W-why what?”
「 Why do you remain grounded? 」
“Ranmaru, we’ve been at it here since morning,” the windstorm wielder pointed out, even going so far as to jab a thumb toward the sunset-hued sky outside for his mentally aboding partner. It was rare that he had an entire day to himself, and of course he spent it dedicating in refining his skills and abilities with nigh bullheaded obsession, but he intended on returning to the Seireitei once he recovered enough of his strength. “We can get back into it later in the week, can’t we?”
「 That is not what I meant. 」
Oh here we go with the cryptic gotchas. Returning his thumb so that he may drag his hand, palm and digits, down his face, Kōta paused before he opted to take the bait: “So if it’s not me taking a break, then what?”
「 Why are you not honest? 」
“Wh- Excuse me?!” Maybe it was the exhaustion talking when his own voice rose, but those words still touched on a nerve. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
「 You first chose to carry this burden in the name of a man who has not walked among you, not for the last 11 years. 」
“Okay, don’t you dare bring Captain Ukitake into this.” His tone turned as sharp as steel at the comment, and his reiatsu threatened to flare in turn. It was not long after Aizen’s arrest that Kōta made such a pledge to his late commander, to be of better use to him and the 13th in the future, but it was the absolute last thing he wished to recall.
Still, as bitter as he felt, he knew Hai’iro Ranmaru was correct.
“Shit.” How cruelly that memory aged, from an ignorant and hopeful 4th Seat who saw not the storm on the horizon. Hell, none of them saw it coming. The shinigami in question felt his back ease against the wall he sat against, all while mulling over bygone times.
「 So what reason do you have to still seek such power now? 」
The answer to that is obvious, no?
“Rukia... She’s going to need me to back her up. I have a whole Division to look after now as Captain Kuchiki’s right hand. The newest Captain and Lieutenant pair. All eyes of the Gotei 13 will be on us. I can’t afford to slack off just yet.
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“...I’ll need to be at my best.”
And for his answer, all he received was a dismissive scoff from the elder voice in his mind.
「 You lie to yourself. 」
“Lying to myself?” Here Kōtarō thought he was being forthright, yet his blade’s accusation came with a gale creaking the wood of the hut from the outside, as though wind itself was objecting to his questioning.
「 You pursue power because you are afraid. 」 
The claim spurned the Lieutenant into trying to deny it, but however he tried to raise his voice, any attempt at a sentence died almost as soon as it left his throat. What could he say to convince his own id otherwise? Not five minutes ago, his thoughts still lingered on a conflict over a decade past; Hai’iro Ranmaru naturally would have thought it too.
“Well don’t you have me all figured out, jī-chan,” he finally answered, letting a defeated smile sit on his countenance.
「 There is no shame in such an act. 」
“In what, pursuing power out of fear?”
「 In figuring you out. 」
A snort broke from the swordsman at the bluntly delivered remark, and with it, so did the tension between himself and the spirit of his weapon.
“Pfeh. That too, then.” 
With that, the pair allowed silence to reign between themselves. The clouds hanging high over Kusajishi seemed to rumble, ready to dispense with rainwater it had built up for several days of aridity with the coming summer season.
It only took moments for the first droplets to fall, pelting the roof little by little until a full shower began in earnest. A satisfied sigh left the soul reaper as he closed his eyes and focused on his other senses, taking in the soothing sound of rainfall and the building smell of petrichor from the outdoors.
Ranmaru’s presence, meanwhile, still lingered in his mindscape, seeming to enjoy the outside weather along with his wielder.
“...it’s been fun, though.”
「 Fun? 」
“Hm.” Kōta nodded to themselves as he sought to piece his thoughts together, while reflecting on more recent history for a change. “Over the last several years. All those techniques and manoeuvres? I wasn’t capable of half of that before we started training so seriously.”
「 Getting stronger... brings you pleasure? 」
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“If you want to put it so starkly, then sure, I guess.” A low chuckle broke from Ryōhei younger before he continued. “It also means I understand you—and us—better in the long run, doesn’t it? I’d call it fun.”
「 Hm... I suppose it does, hatchling. 」
“I don’t know, I just... I want to keep flying. Higher, and higher still, until I can’t see the earth at my feet anymore.” He didn’t realize he started waxing poetic, but he remembered that wish well from when he was a little young soul: a great yearning to stand above any and every trouble on the earth, and equally untethered to the forces of gravity – freedom unlike anything he’s ever known. “That’s... just how it always felt like to me, I guess.”
「 Yet you ground yourself. Fear has locked you within a gilded cage, all while the clouds above call for you to ascend to their heights. 」
“Is that right?”
「 Of course. I am the wind at your back, the air in your lungs, and the sword by your side. I know when fear takes hold of you, even should you attempt to deny it. 」
“...it’s not like I’m afraid of death or anything. Kinda grown numb to that sort of thing after this many years on the job and all,” Kōtarō opined, feeling that a shinigami in his position would not last long in their duties if they weren’t used to putting their life on the line. Ranmaru hummed in affirmation in turn, wishing to hear his wielder speak his mind more. Anxiously, the man rested his hand on the back of his weary neck as he went on. “It’s just... back then, with the Quincy...?”
For a moment, he fell quiet.
“...they fucking steamrolled us. Slain us by the thousands. Hardly took them any effort, at that.”
As for the words he did not say aloud, though his zanpakutō understood as though they were spoken? None of us should have survived the war, least of all me. We got off lucky.
However, it was more than just fear. More than just helplessness. Hopelessness. Despair. Desperation.
「 ...so what do you intend to do, the next time your world threatens to fall around you? 」
There was one more feeling that took root in his soul, though buried within the chaos of the last day.
Memories of his own last stand proved... hazy, given he would only remember waking up in the 4th Division barracks after the dust settled at last. But, Kōta did remember the Seireitei, though ruined, returning in front of his eyes after days spent skulking, fleeing, hiding, and fighting within the city of shadows.
Then lights fell from the heavens, by the dozens, and from their descent rose those... things.
「 The next time providence itself chooses to become your enemy? 」
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Squawking, shrieking, swearing vengeance in the name of their perfect, almighty god-king. Threatening to raze the one relief he found in his home materializing before him to ashes, after he thought it truly lost forever. After he finally had a moment to breathe—let alone recollect himself—when he reunited with those who still remained from the 13th. After they already took Captain Ukitake from them.
It was coming back to him, albeit in pieces, that those bird-beasts were so. Fucking. LOUD. Like a sickening cacophony of dissonant trumpets gleefully tearing into whatever peace of mind he still held on to, blaring into his ears lest he turned deaf.
The spark of hope he felt that that some of the normalcy he loved could return at all, only for someone to dare rip it away from him again, ignited something else.
「 The next time someone dares to stand in the way of your peace? 」
WRATH.
He stopped caring about power gaps.
He stopped compromising on what best approach there was to take.
He stopped worrying about whether he and his own would live to see tomorrow.
All he wanted was to see those Quincy bird things dead. Rally whoever among his men could still fight, and order the remaining ones to safety.
So, he brandished Hai’iro Ranmaru.
He saw Kira Izuru, a man who inexplicably stood while half his own torso was missing, going in as the vanguard against those lording, sanctimonious monstrosities.
Thus, Kōta summoned his cavalry.
Charged like a roaring typhoon, with a great fury he had not shown again since.
Fought until he could stand no longer, having slain one beast after the next with only red in his eyes.
The wrath he felt in those memories of the past simmered under his own skin in the present.
「 The Ryōhei Kōtarō I saw that last day, who did not let such fears hold him down... 」
Kōtarō was not alone in the cabin anymore. Not there one moment, there the next he blinked. It was enough to jolt life back into the shinigami, but he showed no fear before the intruder, for there stood the one same hermit he saw countless times within his inner world, now far and away—or a mere five steps away?—from the cloud sea it inhabited.
The same priestly kimono, with the same yuigesa. The same hauchiwa fan at his hip, with black feathers from the same black wings folded at its back.
Although, it was not the familiar face of a wise old bird Kōtarō would see. No, that mask fell away when Hai’iro Ranmaru made himself corporeal.
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“...would break free from his cage, by tempering that same rage worthy of my power.”
Even his voice had changed with his younger, more human-like appearance, sounding smoother than Kōtarō had ever recalled hearing, almost melodious in his chiding. Next to one another, one could swear they looked like twins. The swordsman himself would have realized it as well, had he not sat there on the floor of his childhood home, looking shellshocked.
It did not immediately sink in that, at long last, his zanpakutō spirit materialized before him.
“If you can confirm to me you are worthy?”
It did not yet click that, indeed, he proved to possess the aptitude for Bankai after all.
“If you can show me you can rise above that fear?”
It did not come to mind that his years of training have finally, against all the odds, paid off.
“If you can prove that by besting the hells of yesteryear once again?”
No, above all else...
“Then I will gladly bend the knee to you...”
...what really stood out to the soul reaper was...
“...so that, as my master, you may soar to-”
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“What the fu—YOU WERE YOUNG THIS WHOLE TIME?!”
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“THAT IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON?!”
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dyketubbo · 3 years
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i want to start this post by saying this is all /rp and that if i sound condescending, its probably intentional because im a lil fed up. still tried to be polite but if it fell through, uh, eh. its minecraft roleplay, im not truly heated, and if i thought of myself as being better than anyone for my opinions on blocks attacking each other i think id really have to reconsider my life and how i got here. anyways,
could you imagine if ppl just like actually started blaming things that are unable to control how others feel abt them for like. the way others feel abt them. like thats messily worded but w how people talk about lmanburg its like.. have yall never had something you would fight for? i would absolutely fight for my friends, fight for my family, hell id fight for my fuckin cat, my sketchbook, whatever, because thats mine and others arent allowed to just threaten what i care about for fun
but.. if i start to fight for something, because i care about it and someone else puts it in danger, its not the thing in dangers fault that im fighting for it? the person causing the danger shouldnt be doing that in the first place!! maybe i shouldnt ""have"" to sacrifice my time or wellbeing or whatever for things i care about but i *want* to, because i want to fight for what i care about
so why is it that once l'manburg is something to fight about that its?? somehow a piece of land/an abstract concepts fault that people were willing to fight for it?? it was their thing! l'manburgians had a right to secede, you can argue that it was based in xenophobia and manipulation and that wilbur was never good all along (gross reading, but you can take that up with the avid wilbur enthusiasts, this post isnt abt him) all you want but in the end it started out as a joke. the drug bits were jokes, the people who joined did so willingly, wilbur was barely fuckin present for a lot of his own countrys development, tommy and dreams relationship was friendly (with creepy vibes as dream got more and more stalkerish towards tommy), despite all the claims of No Americans they didnt Do Shit when americans were on their land and it was clear that the americans vs british debate was cc jokes that the characters didnt truly take seriously, the walls were iirc just. to make a good thumbnail or some shit (aka aesthetic), it really was just. a friend group with rules with the friends being little shits sometimes and dream really fucking hated that ig but in the end the l'manburgians really did not have any Special Attitude that made them any different than the average person on that server, they just happened to take a house-wide piece of land and said "hey we want this and its kinda weird for you to say the whole world is yours anyways so we want this to be like. ours. please? please"
but. l'manburg is.. not something you can just Blame. its not a real country with a real system set in place, it was some shit fuckin buildins in some walls and if the characters wanted to fight for it more power to them!! people get so mad (debate wise, not in terms of actually being upset) at the idea that the characters sacrificed things and themselves for their country but theyre. making a choice to fight for what they believe is right. and hell, for a good ass portion they just try to talk through it, thinking war is something you can fight with words when the other side just wants to secretly rig it all with tnt.
blame the people who continued to put l'manburgians in danger, blame dream for being obsessed with some teenager and placing way more symbolic power in the damn discs than tommy ever did, blame the dream team for rigging l'manburg with tnt and blowing it all up, blame dteam and eret for the fcr (which is the real start of wilburs downwards spiral. he was not always unstable, because thats not how human beings work. theres a difference between dream always having a similar motif of "this is fun" and wilbur actively showing clear differences in how he acts with each time he logs on), blame the people who constantly tried (and succeeded) to rip l'manburg from its citizens over and over until eventually all there was of the country is a big fuck off crater with a glass covering
but theres no damn point in blaming the country itself. its a bunch of fuckin land. even if you take what it symbolizes (which, for every character that was apart of it, it symbolized family and love and safety and care and trust and it was other people that tarnished that, because symbols dont chunk error themselves) its just. a symbol. its something the characters are attached to, and man, its almost as if the series has been fucking screaming at the viewers that viewing attachments as the problem is the wrong thing to do. should characters "have" to sacrifice themselves for l'manburg? no! and they *don't* have to! its shown repeatedly that they can just fuckin leave if they want to, no one will stop them!
they *choose* to fight and sacrifice and *care* and blaming what they care about for being something thats cared about is just wrong. especially in a situation where the discussion is literal death???? in which most cases were very clearly "person a kills person b" (or in wilburs case, assisted suicide for his last life), aka meaning that.. the murderer is at fault for murder. thats basic cause and effect, it should not be a debate topic to say "if you murder someone intentionally because you want them to stop caring about something you are at fault for murdering them".
like damn, next you mfs are gonna tell me that tommys a bad person because tubbo was willing to let dream kill him for tommy to be free (at least, tubbo saw it that way), and that dream isnt at fault for threatening tubbos life because tommy shouldnt have been so attached to those discs (of which are only important because dream had been using them as a way to have power over tommy and over the narrative), and that tommys bad for daring to care about things, for daring to care about *people* too, because if youre willing to sacrifice for something then its automatically bad.
....
oh.
wait.
thats exactly how people think. no fucking wonder then. you know, with a villain as obvious as dream, youd think maybe the audience would have learned that "attachments bad and fighting for what/who you care about bad because if you didnt care so much you wouldnt get hurt by the people who have been actively trying to hurt you and what/who you care about" is *not* the moral you should be going with when debating whether or not someone is at fault for killing someone when they had every option to Not Do So. watch the mars conflict again and maybe youll understand that the problem isnt attachments, its the people who want to use them against you.
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