#IM DY ING LOL

[skrunksthatwunk]

thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.

#banana fish spoilers #I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT #mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol #yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY #whatever hope this makes sense. anyway #banana fish #okumura eiji #ash lynx #asheiji #hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh #anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god #and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character #that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1 #dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him..... #anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up #edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras #ing that i forgot >;/

[gunsatthaphan]

#okay then 🤷🏼‍♀️

#gmmtv #gmmtv2024 #gmmtv 2024 #gmmtv2024 part 1 #my golden blood #jossgawin #joss wayar #gawin caskey #Gawin lol-ing at this whole thing has me in tears lmao he knows how ridiculous it is 😭 #legit didnt pay attention to this interview as i was too busy being shook to death kjhgd but now im finally watching it and im dying 💀 #gawin is being so goofy its killing me #he seems genuinely excited though 🥺 #joss is like can we get this over with #i cant #why is this happening #not that im complaining

[gothamcityneedsme]

also for smt v replay i went with the version of newgame plus that carries over less because like. i just replayed p4g (ng+), p4a and p4au (i do not enjoy gameplay so i let the game autoplay), and pq2 (ng+). and while its fun to minmax and focus on completing like, more challenge-level content, for the love of god i need to do something more challenging

#shitpost #i love like 100%-ing and completing difficult stuff that you pretty much need to be new game plus to do #but like. #i DO also like these games for the difficulty. i LIKE to get good at the systems and party formatting etc #so like playing 4 games in a row where it was easy (and in terms of p4a and p4au i treated it as a visual novel) #i like feel like im dying a bit lol #the only game im playing for challenge is my usual swtor nightmare raiding #and like. i need a little more in my life #i dont ALWAYS need challenge in games but. i wasn't going to play a FIFTH game with no challenge #im also still doing like maybe 2 hours a week in arkham knight combat to get stars + keep my skills up #and like i spent months there perfecting all the arkham games so. recently especially ive been enjoying challenges moreso than usual #and like again thats not the only reason i play games but. it is A reason #and rn im like. i havent gotten a break in terms of Busy Life #so really focusing on games and such is... a good way for me to feel better

[harrysfolklore]

hey could u do masie peters as a face claim with singer yn

i was dying to do tom x singer!yn and i this came up ! i really really hope you like it as much as i do !

AND HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY TO THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND TOM BLYTH. ILY

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by rachelzegler, oliviarodrigo and 836,038 others

yourinstagram the good witch as been out for a week and i just want to say thank for all the love 🥹 here’s a pic of me right before recording the saddest song on the album lol

view all 18,037 comments

ynfan1 IM SO PROOOOUD

ynfan2 i love her so bad

troyesivan absolutely obsessed with every track

ynfan3 WE NEED THE DELUXE VERSION

rachelzegler I’m sooo obsessed with this album, I’ve played it on set like a hundred times this week I’m pretty sure all the cast is sick of me lol. LOVE YOU CONGRATS ❤️

↳ yourinstagram rachh 🥹🥹 thank you for your support ! means the world to me and i hope your cast mates don’t hate me lol. good luck on filming and i can’t wait to see the movie !!

↳ ynfan1 QUEENS SUPPORTING EACH OTHER

↳ ynfan3 i love them so much

liked by hunterschafer, yourinstagram and 486,529 others

tomblyth HG film dump. Just some of the many people I love who breathed life into this movie. @songbirdsandsnakes opens tomorrow 🤍

view all 11,160 comments

tomfan1 CRYING

tomfan2 this movie is about to change my life

mtv new crush unlocked

florencepugh ❤️

tomfan3 i love this cast so bad

rachelzegler LOVE YOU ALL 💘

tomfan4 my man my man my man

liked by shawnmendes, tomblyth and 840,726 others

yourinstagram MANCHESTER THAT WAS AWESOME !! and london you’re next 🥹

view all 18,937 comments

ynfan1 BEST SHOW IN THE WORLD

ynfan2 my turn when

madisonbeer superstar 🤍

rachelzegler I can’t wait to see you live !!

↳ tomblyth I’m tagging along

↳ tomfan1 WEEE TOM A YN FAN SO TRUE

↳ yourinstagram you guys are welcome anytime

ynfan3 she’s a celebrity to celebrities omg

mtv yn x tbosas cast? a yes from me

INTERVIEWS FROM TBOSAS PROMO

INSTAGRAM STORIES

//

liked by tomfan1, tomfan2 and 10,837 others

tomupdates TOM ARRIVING TO O2 ARENA IN LONDON TODAY?

view all 943 comments

tomfan1 OMGGG

ynfan1 YN HAS A SHOW THERE LAJSKA

tomfan2 he’s really seeing yn live😭 such a fanboy

ynfan2 that’s it. i ship them

↳ tomfan3 SAMEEEE

ynfan3 MY FAVES

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 13,378 others

ynupdates “Tonight’s show is special. Not only because we’re at the O2 arena which is absolutely freaking cool, but also because we have some friends coming to see us, and it’s always a pleasure to play for old and new friends.” - YN at tonight’s show !

view all 966 comments

ynfan1 OMGGG

ynfan2 I LOVE HER

tomfan1 omfg is this about tom ???

tomfan2 TOM WAS IN THE AUDIENCE

ynfan3 she’s not sneaky

liked by conangray, tomblyth and 845,380 others

yourinstagram LONDON THAT WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS EVER !! thank you to everyone who came 🤍

view all 18,038 comments

ynfan1 I CANT BELIEVE I WAS THERE

ynfan2 POP QUEEN

oliviarodrigo best show ever 💜

tomfan1 i bet tom was fangirling the entire time

hunterschafer I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

tomblyth Amazing show and amazing performer, I'm blown away

↳ tomfan2 AHHHH

↳ tomfan3 i literally ship them so hard

↳ ynfan3 thats a MAN

FANS VIA TWITTER

//

liked by yourinstagram, hunterschafer and 764,093 others

tomblyth Afterparty-ing 🥂

view all 17,394 comments

tomfan1 YEEEEEES

tomfan2 HE WENT TO YN'S AFTERPATY

rachelzegler 👯‍♂️

ynfan1 hes so hooot yn better give him a chance

↳ tomfan3 chill they're just friends

yourinstagram thank you for coming 💕

↳ ynfan2 THE EMOJIII

↳ tomfan2 i'm trying so hard to be normal and not ship them

TEXTS BETWEEN TOM AND YN

//

liked by gracieabrams, lauraharrier and 876,309 others

yourinstagram unfiltered friday dump

view all 18,275 comments

ynfan1 i live for this

ynfan2 her monopoly obsession is still going strong

rachelzegler You sneaky shits! Invite me next time

↳ ynfan3 WHAT DOES SHE MEAN ?

↳ yourinstagram i’ll make sure snow lets you know next time

↳ tomfan1 SNOW ?? TOM??

↳ tomfan2 AHHHHH

tomblyth It was such a pleasure to beat you at Monopoly

↳ tomfan1 AH SO SHE WAS WITH TOM

↳ ynfan3 IM THROWING UP

↳ yourinstagram shhh don’t let everyone know🥲

↳ ynfan3 😭😭😭

liked by yourinstagram, maya_hawke and 630,998 others

tomblyth I made a new friend 😊

view all 18,937 comments

tomfan1 MY HEART

ynfan1 THATS YN’S DOG STFU

rachelzegler I keep getting excluded from this relationship 🥲🥲

↳ tomfan2 RELATIONSHIP???

↳ ynfan2 NOT RACHEL OUTING THEIR BUSINESS

hunterschafer babies

yourinstagram i can’t believe i’ve been replaced

↳ tomblyth Sorry love, I’m just really charming

↳ ynfan1 STOOOOOP

↳ tomfan3 HE’S SHAMELESS

DEUXMOI VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES

//

liked by tomfan1, ynfan1 and 40,826 others

celebrityleaks TOM BLYTH AND YN OUT IN LOS ANGELES TODAY

view all 2,927 comments

tomfan1 LORD

ynfan1 I KNEW IT

tomfan2 THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

ynfan2 AHHHH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

tomfan3 the couple we never knew we needed

ynfan3 we literally saw this relationship come to life I LOVE IT

tomfan4 byeee yall already claiming they’re in a relationship when they could be just friends

↳ ynfan1 you’re delulu

↳ tomfan1 the denial stage i see

liked by tomblyth, teddysphotos and 837,937 others

yourinstagram we’re in the middle of a tour but i couldn’t help myself and i got into the studio to pour out my lovey dovey feelings and ‘glue song’ came to life ! it’s going to be available everywhere on feb 2 (💓), i hope you like it 🥹

view all 19,045 comments

ynfan1 OH MY GOD ??

ynfan2 AHHHHHH WE WON

sabrinacarpenter such a sweet song i love it 🥰

tomfan1 IS THIS ABOUT TOM ??? BECAUSE IF IT IS I MIGHT CRY

gracieeabrams in your lover era 🥺

ynfan3 SHES DOWN BADDDDDD

tomfan3 HOLD ON. SHES RELEASING IT ON TOM’S BDAY !!!?

↳ tomfan1 YOU’RE RIGHT

↳ ynfan2 and just like that im sobbing again

tomfan2 i want to be stuck to tom like glue too

tomblyth ❤️

↳ ynfan3 SOBBING

↳ tomfan3 THIS IS CONFIRMATION

liked by yourinstagram, hunterschafer and 702,825 others

tomblyth What the bracelets say ❤️ @yourinstagram

view all 17,937 comments

tomfan1 STOP IT

ynfan1 i’ve died dead

rachelzegler MY BABIES MY LOVES 😭💘

↳ tomfan2 if you think about it rachel was lowkey the matchmaker here

↳ tomfan1 hunter aswell !

hunterschafer 🥲🥲🥲🤍🤍🤍

ynfan2 SHE DESERVES A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IM SO HAPPY

tomfan3 couple of the century for real

ynfan3 THE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS 😩

yourinstagram love you be stuck 2 u you and your early morning karaoke 💘 happy birthday my love

↳ ynfan1 AHHHH

↳ tomfan3 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION

#tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth imagine #tom blyth blurb #tom blyth fake instagram #tom blyth social media au #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow fanfiction #tom blyth fic #harrysfolklore #tom blyth fluff #tom blyth smut #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow smut #social media au #tom blyth au #tom blyth story #tom blyth one shot #tom blyth fanfic #tom blyth writing #tom blyth request

[koolades-world]

Ok so I've randomly had this genius idea and was keeping it in my head for a month or so. And i for some reason had an urge to find someone to make this thing. And YOU got unlucky to be in my FYP with open requests! Poor you, now you are cursed with this request! (Also ur writing is cool, but im suck at giving compliments~)

Imagine being a one of the most powerful demons in entire devildom, falling from heaven, going through a war.. and you just meet a human, who is crying because of a paper scratch! That's the request!:

Brothers with Pain-sensitive MC/MC with Algophobia if you prefer.♡

Ahem🤓👆, Algophobia is a phobia of pain. No one likes getting hurt, but algophobic person is afraid of it more than normal ppl. Also Algophobia makes all pain feel even more painful because if the fear🤓👆

These two are pretty much the same, but Algophobia one has more angst potential than just "Pain-sensitive"

This thing sounds just so hilarious in my head, imagine after MC does something bad Lucifer wants to punish them, but then he remembers that this human uses cooking gloves to drink coffee because "its way to hot" and ends up with existential crisis because all of his punishments will turn Pain-sensitive MC into dust😭

I saw a lot of ppl headcanoning that demons are like "well, humans are fragile and easily will die!" and starting to think that human is dying when they broke a bone. Thats funny, but imagine what would happen if it ACTUALLY were like that. Mammon wants to get MC to the casino, but then sees how they slip and fall to their knees and the crying because "FFFFF MY KNEEEEES HURT😭😭😭" And he is just like..."Damn, bro, how u live like this" and ends up way to afraid to bring them to the casino bc of "eeevil demons that would eat them!".

Also i imagine that Levi would do something similar, but, lets agree that him asking MC to go somewhere is an impossible scenario. I think he will do a good job tho.

Satan and MC hanging out in the garden with cats and this dude, who can easily broke the entire house if he gets angry, casually watching this piece of human struggling to pet a cat bc of their shaking hands. "Come on, just pet it, u got it, MC." "but cats have claws and claws are paaaainful!!!!"

Asmo is probably the only one who will have no problem with that, lol. This dude loves saying about being gentle. Yeah, not surprising that i simp for him. But dynamic between Devildom's biggest slut and a Human, who never kissed with anyone because "well, if i am kissing someone, I can't tell if the person is not gonna get a knife a d won't stub me! and stubbing ppl is painful!" sounds hilarious.

Beel is a big cinnabun, we all can agree. But yhis cinnabun is so big, that it can easily hurt MC accidentally! Even average people often cause ain-sensitive MC pain, and someone as big and strong babyboy like Beel? Damn, poor big man and MC, who waits for hot food to cool down for 15 minutes before eating it because "hot food is painful!"

Belphegor probably will do okay.. i mean, if we ignore 16 lesson.. he is pretty gentle boy so i guess he won't do anything bad. But, i can still imagine how this dude might hurt MC in his sleep and when wakes up and sees them, ouch-ing and rubbing their cheek, because "you were asleep and accidentally hit my cheek.." while this dude was just changing his sleeping pose.

So you can make something fluffy with brothers trying to not-hurt Pain-sensitive MC accidentally, you can do it in memes, you can do some angst with Algophobia. You can do whatever you want, i give the idea, you use it if you want!~

Damn, this think came out like a whole ass post. But i hope you didn't got bored halfway, lol.

Have a nice day tho!~~~

hi! haha I didn’t get bored you understand me!! I absolutely love when someone is just as excited as me about an idea :) this is exactly what I do when I have an idea I love so much I want to squeeze it in a good way

glad you like my writing 🥺 <3 please enjoy!

Mc with Algophobia

Lucifer

he knows right off the bat because it was on your paperwork (creepy) but makes accommodations where he can (loving)

essentially baby proofs the house right after you arrive once he realizes you’re being serious including padding on every sharp corner

always has a first aid kit on hand because he’s worried about you and won’t hesitate to offer you all the time off you need

finds himself unconsciously making sure you're ok

Mammon

didn't take you seriously at first until you almost started crying upon reach into the freezer to help defrost Goldie yet again

wants to help you with your fear, and unveils all of his stupid fears to you, including his fear of public water fountains

when you're not together, he has his crows keep an eye on you for him to make sure you're ok

often opts to stay home with you if it makes you more comfortable

Levi

so so chill about it since he himself is afraid of many things, and while not paralyzing, goes out of his way to avoid all these things

lets you know the door to his room will always be open for you if you need a place to relax for the hour or day

protective of you in a way he never felt before

ready to listen to your woes and try to help resolve them for you

Satan

to some extent, he understands what it's like to be misunderstood and he goes out of his way to boost your confidence

knows some amazing professionals that might be able to help you out if you want

works on himself and his outbursts to keep you safe and unafraid <3

holds your hand as often as he gets the chance to reassure both you and himself that you won't get separated and avoid any potential problems

Asmo

100% finds many excuses to kiss your booboos

finds all sorts of fun cute ways to make sure you don't get hurt and stay happy

if you get hurt around him, he's on top of it and upset too since he hates to see you unhappy

whatever you need, he's got you covered. he carries some of you things in his handbag that he always has with him in case you need it

Beel

doesn't understand at first, but is more cautious around you

he knows humans are fragile but he severely underestimated your fear

however, he's willing to do anything that you need from him

he knows his strength and always finds himself moving slower and more protective around you

Belphie

at first, he couldn't have cared less but after he got to know you, he felt extremely guilty about what he had done

does everything to make it up to you and prevent you from getting hurt again

expect lots of gifts that include nice blankets and cute bandaids

finds his way to your room in the middle of the night often to make sure you're fine and then stays (he's totally not just sleepwalking)

#obey me #obey me! #obey me satan #obey me x reader #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me levi #obey me lucifer #obey me belphie #obey me mammon #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me mc

[misc-obeyme]

LISTEN. (cw torture, barb thirst, mc infofump, mentions of murder and devildm politics, a bunch'a spoilers for Barbatos live ★ & Tea time w you-, obey me whump, conditioning, rant about newer fandom this ask is a wild ride)

But I also like the idea of him discovering what you’ve been doing & then questioning you about your methods. Like he’s impressed you would take matters into your own hands, but he is also an expert and can teach you many things~

Cue you getting taken on as the torturer’s apprentice. When you tell Solomon, he just goes pale and stammers out a joke about how he doesn’t like sharing his apprentice lol.

I'm gonna interrupt you like the potato i am but like???yes????? you do not understand my obsession with torture. I always thought I'm a masochist but I've recently figured i was wrong and Boy it Was the best feeling in rhe world to figure out whats wrong with me-

also my mc is both Sol's apprentice in magic and Barb's student in torture and baking. mhmhmmm. I also Do Not Like the brothers so much my mc was never an exchabge student. I did some black butler shit back there and now he lives in the castle. like two years before the exchange program- (no my canon doesnt follow the game's canon caue thats so very badly written) and he also helps w murdering people who are against Diavolo. and people just ?? can't believe it- there has to be some sort of a war shit going on. Dia is too kind to do this- also, if anyone figures they don't. Barb has POWERS-

and BOY DO I LOVE BARB FOR THAT. Also dia but he isnt important rn sjsksk. in the new event's card he said smth like he would cross his own boundries for the sake of Diavolo and Devildom. althought he didnt say for mc so 😔 but thats hot af still. But buT BUT vvv

villain wannabe. wdym darkness?? you said itll be for the sake of devildom! idk im misinterpenting or no but this is so side ways I'm a bit ????ing rn

also in Tea time with you when you ask him what the fuck he did that even being a 24/7 slave butler to Diavoli won'y undo the mistake he had done?? he laughs?? HEEHEEE???? what are you Michael Jackson? and the other option he goes straight to anger so idk whats with the huge difference in replies-

anyway angry Barb is also best Barb i dont make the rules. also he's the butler of their PRINCE noone gets to harm mc. they'd dissapear. go missing. possibly either killed or very altered. Came Back Wrong™ ohoho, imagine if some of the castle workers/maids etc used to be high ranked nobles and demons and they've done smth so wrong that lowered them to this. and they don't remember it?? and noone else does remember too. just some lost names. okay not to get far-

BUT LISTEN Barb has definitly done some conditioning bs out there you can not prove it otherwise. also, Mammon keeps getting punished by Lu and hasn't changed so imagine the pain those demons have to go through for that-

JSKSKAJ!! BARB IS HOT OKAY- HES SADISTIC. I live sadistic demon butlers . also the fact that he has a torture dungeon- and who says there aren't demons in the hidden prisons waiting for their turn? i imagine Barb would randomly take one, do the things™ and leave for the next few months. the second the demons think they're forgotten/ theyre doomed. its also not in order so yep more stress. so wha i was goimg to say is imagine a very sadistic and mentally ill™ mc whos very angry tortuing some " innocent" souls in the dungeons. also, I tend to imagine Barb has taught Lucifer a few forms of torture when he fell (cough, Believer cough-) so-

Barb is such an interesting character (like Sol) and the older fandom used to really put those aspects in mind but the newer fandom is stripped completely from darkfic. like. can we have more darkfic i am begging I want obey me whump I dont want mc angst i want mc whump i want these bad boys dying of pain and being saved the last minute i want more stories on devildom politics i want more dark! demons/dark! mc aus- like can we bring that back??? can we stop w 24/7 fluff/comfort/angst thats just mc's death ?? no hate to those but can we bring back the dark shit i want to see demons getting their asses whooped in barb's dungeon or Dia being manupilative af--😭😭😭

ok ok ill shut up now😂

There is so much happening in this ask, but for some reason I keep coming back to "HEEHEEE???? what are you Michael Jackson?" because wow that made me actually LOL for real.

I'm always going to be for canon divergence. I say do whatever makes you happy! Your MC must truly have their hands full learning all that stuff with Barbatos and Solomon. But like if you're gonna learn those things, might as well learn from the best, right???

The thing I like about Barbatos is that he is very versatile. They've kept him very mellow in the game, but he has so much potential to go dark if you want to write him that way. I mean they don't even confirm that he actually has a torture dungeon in the game... I'm pretty sure it's just Mammon who says he's rumored to have one. But like by leaving it open ended like that, we can speculate all we like about it, you know?

And traditionally, wasn't that the point of demons? Aside from tempting humans, they're supposed to torture souls, right? I mean, I don't know how accurate that actually is, but it's interesting to think about.

I'm not especially obsessed with torture and I think it's pretty clear from my writing that I'm generally on the fluffier side of things lol. But it's interesting to think about, especially considering the types of characters we're dealing with here. And I really like the exploration of morality and inner evil and that sort of thing when it comes to heavy stuff like torture.

I thought it was very interesting in Barbatos Live how he calls MC his good conscience. 'Cause in Tea Time with You, he very much indicates that he used to do crazy stuff all the time, but then the Incident happened and now he doesn't. So wouldn't his guilt over whatever happened be his good conscience, like it has been all this time before MC showed up? Is he saying that MC just makes him want to stick to that even more?

Though he also says that it's like demon nature to have some darkness, so I don't know if he's talking about his specific experience necessarily. It's more like he's saying he wants to fight against his own nature? I dunno.

OH DANG but I love that idea about the maids and such in the castle! Demons that messed up so bad, now Barb keeps them at the castle to work??? What was that about not giving into the darkness???? lk;asdfkjlfd

I'm afraid I can't really comment on the amount of darkfic present in the fandom at any given time... due to being a Fluffster Extraordinaire, I'm faaaar more likely to read sweet lovey romance fics than Barb torture dungeon fics. Which isn't to say that I don't like the Barb torture dungeon situation because I do indeed find it very intriguing lol. I'm just usually like yo I want that guy to bake for me and make me tea, I don't care what he does in his spare time.

In fact, I really like the idea of a sweet and doting house husband Barbatos that pampers MC all day every day while being a ruthless and loyal demon butler the rest of the time. Like the dungeon isn't a rumor but as long as he washes off the blood when he comes back, MC is like whatever lol.

Oh but I also like the idea of MC being just as bad as him, now that I think about it. Like MC isn't ignorant, they don't turn a blind eye, they are right there with him, actively participating. The torture couple aadsflkjdfkjldf

I dunno, I think I'm considering it in more of a humorous way than a serious way, though.

Anyway, it's fun to consider all aspects of Barbatos because he has so many facets! And I think it's fun to explore the different sides of him.

#I've just been feeling like I prefer MC to be a badass lately #so I think it'd be cool if they were just unbothered by it all #um okay I do feel like I need to cw this so #cw torture #tw torture #obey me #obey me barbatos #expressionless-fr #cc mutuals #misc answers

[skeleton-wannabeee]

ive been away for too long i need this community back 🥺

my dad passed and it was really tough because part of the reason he was dying was because he couldn’t eat and couldn’t get strong enough for certain treatments. that was hard bc ⭐️v ing myself…

my husband knows now that i relapsed and he keeps getting angry saying he doesn’t want me to d i e. i wish he wouldn’t express his concerns with so much anger.

i told my lyme doctor yesterday because i needed her to know that i cant really judge how well my treatment is helping my fatigue bc im not e ating enough to be energized. that conversation was hard and had me emotional the rest of the day.

im stuck between the desire to lose weight and desire to be attractive to my husband. hes attracted to me now, but he did always love my assets and those are not the same anymore. i started doing strength training with him but like part of me just wants to look sick.

i hate my boobs but i love my waist 🤷🏻‍♀️

venting over lol

#4norexi4 #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #th1nsp1ration #tw disordered eating #ana trigger #ana rant #tw ed diet #ed vent

[definitelynotshouting]

Ahhh!!! Im so so happy you liked my analysis 😭😭. I love your writing sm <3.

I am not the same sun anon as before. If the first one is still here ill change it, and for now ill just hover uncertainly lol. Anyway! Here's some more!

-☀️

"The words slice right through the air between them, cleaving a massive chasm where the bedspread ripples and arcs. Scar freezes mid-speech, mouth hanging open in a way that could be comical in any other situation. There was a time when Grian would have been unbearably smug about that— it’s not every day you render silver-tongued Scar speechless. Now, all he can summon is a low, rolling trepidation; a gut-clenching thundercloud on the horizon, steel-grey and devouring the sky."

- There have been too many firsts lately. There was a time where this would have brought grian satisfaction, but all he feels is dread. Now every time scar reacts, or someone else reacts, it is WRONG. Another anon already beautifully talked about how none of the characters are acting like themselves, so i wont go into any detail there other than to paraphrase their point here. Before, if scar reacted like this it would mean grian did something RIGHT, now it's only another tally onto his list of wrongs.

-☀️

"It takes all of Grian's strength not to descend like a carrion bird on top of that spark of alarm, rile it up into a dread so great it would collapse Scar entirely beneath its gravity. For a moment, the idea rolls over his tongue, flits around the gilded, constricting cage of his mind; something to pick apart and chew. Something he can sink his teeth into."

- This thought is so tangible. I just adore how visceral this description is. It feels heavy and dangerous and predatory. Grian can imagine exactly what he couls do to his friends and he is so scared of himself for it.

-☀️

"It sinks into the marrow of Grian’s bones, lingering and dark, a gentle tug for truth. This isn’t some act— Scar emanates earnestness, the fathomless depths of his concern, in a wave that threatens to bowl Grian over beneath its crest. He's struck with the flashbang image of Scar kneeling in waist-high water, arms spread and voice slinking around Grian's ankles, curving over the hilt of a bloody diamond sword. He knows this siren song, in all its honeyed glory— and Scar knows it, too. The familiarity hovers just within reach, urging him to clutch at its iridescent hook."

- AH!!!! My mans can NOT understand that people care about him and are willing to put themselves on the line for him!!

- It feels like he's SO close to giving in here, to let scar KNOW him (and to admit that he cares instead of killing scar in that pond). The help is there, so long as he is willing to reach out and grab it... but then:

"Xisuma’s hesitant voice, however, buoys him back above deep water. “Grian, you aren’t… actually dying right now, are you?”

Grian grasps the distraction with both hands, letting it pull him away from danger. "

- ah yes, the age-old method: redirecting the conversation and avoiding your problems 😎. I love how the drowning metaphor kind of gets subverted here? As in, usually the surface is where you need to be, and the bottom of the ocean is what is dragging you down. This IS what's happening from Grian's pov- Xisuma is "buoy[ing]" him back to the surface so that he doesnt have to face scar- but it's not actually helping him. The surface isn't where he needs to be. The surface is devoid of substance, it is empty air, and grian has already depraved himself of enough. Does that make sense???? I am insane

-☀️

Enjoy!! :D

RATTLES AROUND IN MY CAGE. ANON YOU SPOIL ME HOLY SHIT, IM LOSING MY MIND!!!!! This is so amazing and just is really reassuring too because i was SO worried about the quality of this chapter djsbdkwndjejsj MAN,,,,,, going to stare off into the sunset for a while this is so sweet and kind tysm king i hope you are having an excellent day

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #its the stuff like this that truly motivates me like nothing else tbh dkdbdjndjddj #sinks my teeth into this ask. i love it here #going 2 screenshot this and put it in my validation folder >:] #long post #txt

[halforcdad]

how do we think kacy's apartment is gonna change now that lucy has officially moved in. i'm thinking lucy's a house plant person (she's got three on her desk) and likely the plants at her old place were suffering because she was rarely there so it'd be nice to see their place start to fill up with well cared for plants. (kate makes an excel spreadsheet with all the plants, lucy's name for them, and their watering schedule because she will Not be responsible for any plant deaths)

step stool for lucy in the kitchen! lolol jk (maybe)

things will probably be a bit more messy, but kate still knows where everything is bc she's kate whistler so technically it's still organized!

in my mind, kate had a plant or two back in law school or dc, but she'd get too busy and they'd die so she stopped trying (ik she has plants in her apartment but let's pretend that the set isn't a fully furnished hotel for the sake of this lol), but it's much harder to put them aside and let them die when your girlfriend gives them names and or personalities (kate has definitely seen a sad lucy lamenting over her plant dying) so she definitely would be excel-ing and trying her best to get the routines down

for the most part though, lucy did mention that she thinks kate's good at decorating so i think she's still gonna let kate handle a lot of design choices. there's definitely still lucy all over the apartment though (a dallas cowboys cup here, her collection of watches there, her boot behind the couch clearly lmaooo)

definitely more photos around the apartment, on the fridge, and sticky notes (imo lucy seems the type to leave sticky notes behind like "thinking of you :)" or she uses them in general to keep track of appointments and shit while kate uses a calendar)

and i gotta say, after reading better off to stay, better off to say by nightshifted, im very attached to lucy having a hula girl bobblehead in her bathroom and migrating that over to kate's/their place

#ncis hawaii #ncis hawai'i #kacy #kate whistler #lucy tara #sorry for how long this took thinking was hard for a bit #but also thanks for the ask! #thanks for giving me an excuse to rewatch the scenes where theyre at the apartment lol #im one of those people who have a hard time imagining scenes when reading no matter how good you describe them #so that probably plays into my lack of apartment headcanons somehow LOL #my inconsistent tagging strikes again #idky i said scenes i meant environments/locations smh

[inkedmyths]

S2: E1 "In My Time of Dying"

Brought to you by hi, I'm not dead, just very sleepy a lot because of school. Finally answered all those anons, now an episode. Just for you guys.

This episode featuring: Dean's on strike 2 with the near death nonsense, Sam's psychic-ing needs work, don't fear the reaper, and Certified Dad Moments

Woooo recap

[ Kayla: CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOON ]

WHSHSHSH THE RADIO GOING as they're like half dead in the car

Oop there goes the demon

Oh no the poor guy that was posessed

RIP Sam is the only one still conscious

Morning sleeping beauty

Hm. Maybe? Creepy empty hospital? Whats up here

[ Silas: color theory ]

Is Dean having one of them out of body experiences

HE SURE IS I CALLED IT

Cmon Sam aren't you psychic

[ Anniss snickers, having apparently forgotten what this guy gets up too. Yeah Sam's just sort of psychic and it's only relevant like half the time. ]

Dean's standing here like AAA IM RIGHT HERE GODDAMMIT

Sooo true Sam but like yeah it is important

Protection since they might be attacked at any time

Dean (out of body) judging their Dad

OH NO THE CAR

Whshshsgsgsv where's Dean is he going MY CARRR

Ohhh Sam are u projecting onto the car

Ohh Bobby knows someth too... what are they hidiiing

Dean is like I WANT TO BE ACTUALLY AWAKE THIS ISN'T FAIR

Oooough hes yelling at his dad... who can't hear him........

UH OH

Somethin zoomed by

Is Dean gonna have to outrun Death or someth... who dis

Hmmmmm thats not good

UH OHH

Oh they are fighting and now Dean can't intervene

OH Dean can knock stuff around!!

WJSHSH DEAN

Uh oh Dean

OH NO

Bitch slap it bitch slap it

Oh Sam is picking up on somthing now!

Okay so there is something haunting the hospital

Dean is going to literally be fighting for his life

Oh someone else is stuck like this!! Hi Tessa! Out of body funtime party! Trying not to die!

Oh whatcha grabbin Sam?

Whshshs now we are just vibing as out-of-body spirits

Oh the spooky! The evil spooky!

Hmmm

Whatcha got there Sam are u gonna put it on Dean to try and talk to him

WAIT DOES HE HAVE

HAHAHAHAHHAA

OUIJA BOARD THATS SO FUNNY

Dean is so offended and put off

"Hunt"

"Reaper"

Hough

:(

Uh oh John is Gone

Ur a terrible father sir

[ Crepe says this is his highest point in being a father, which is terribly ominous. ]

Just a little light Demon Summoning

U h O h

ohhhhh

John buddy what the hell. Literally! Lol. Since we're summoning shit

Hello Demon(s)

MAKE A DEAL?

I don't like this but I guess we have to start somewheeeere

"You can't leave me here alone with Dad, we'll kill each other, you know that" wjshsj love functional families

"We were just starting to be brothers again" AUGH :((

WHSHSHS SHES JUST GIVING HIM THE STAGES OF GRIEF

Damn this is heavy

A Warrior's Death

Ohh. OH THATS HOW ANGRY SPIRITS ARE BORN..... Wough.........

The Colt for Dean.......

Hm? Sam and the other children? Whats the deallll

[ Crepe and Melon are hyping up the upcoming Father Moment. ]

Oh no! Oh boy! Im a fear!

I kind of like this Reaper tbh she's just. Nice. Talking people through their deaths.

[ Crepe says they all do that. ]

Yeah I guess the last one was leashed and pissed about it

OH NO

what the fuck

The doctor: Hm well thats fucking bizarre

Dean doesn't remember????

"Except this pit in my stomache saying something's wrong..."

Hm

Hmm

John: (apologizes and asks not to fight)

Sam: Are you good?? You okay???

(The answer is no)

GOD. Being about to die is one helluva wakeup call. BASTARD

Dean: ??? Fear?? Worried??? Dad what?????

Oh hes telling him someth

???

Dramatically drops the coffee

Howd u drop it upright

Time of death 10:41 AM

Well damn!

Great start to season 2: Dads fuckin dead!

---

I guess that's one hell of a way to kick things off for the season, but damn. Like, after all that work they put into trying to find their dad, then trying to help him, save him... and he dies anyways. So Dean can live.

Crepe and Melon spent several more messages just roasting the hell out of John Winchester, which, while it's probably fair, rather took away from the emotion of the scene LMAO

So uh. Gonna be interesting to see how they go forward from here and what their goal will be.

So. Dad Winchester is dead, the Colt has been taken by That Specific Demon alongside its last bullet, and Dean and Sam are here and traumatized. Interesting.

#on the highway to superhell #spn #supernatural #what a fuckin ride #was kind of funny watching Dean wander around after Sam going 'hey. hey. look at me. use ur psychic powers.' #also need you guys to know Angel With A Shotgun came on while i was compiling all this stuff #thats a song u guys go nuts about right

[wench-and-jezebel]

The Musketeers Reaction: The Challenge

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Now with BONUS: meta analysis :) (But Wench might post that separately later too... she hasn't decided)

[Oh, no, a prisoner transfer!  That always goes badly; just ask CTU (from 24)]

Well shit 

Well…. SHIT THIS MAN A BEAST [Yup!]

“Stay out of this, damn you”  Let us get our asses kicked by one man.. on our own  [Red Guards be prideful dumbasses]

Wot?  WOT?!  WHAT!?!  [Tenth Doctor-coded, you are]  ☠️☠️☠️ [But also, agreed.  They explicitly warned the Red Guard.  And then tried to help.  Not their fault the RG didn't listen 💀]  Right!?!

No one asked you, man child

WHAT, ARE THEY ALL CHILDREN??? [Yes]

OOOP- awwwwww  [Dangerous for him and Constance to do that in broad daylight tho]  

Well their relationship has escalated

[OH, LOOK, HER HUSBAND; WHAT.  DID I SAY.]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Awkward, that is.]

Blech

Sweet lord  [Indeed]

Do they not get paid?  [Kinda but also... money got spent… It's not much, I don't think]

[They're Tinder-ing in church ☠️]  Im dying  [Porthos swiped right on the widow alkdsfj]  Trying to say something and these two are distracting me  [I adore them] Ok, so anyway… I’m guessing D’art does it, wins, and then becomes a Musketeer

Poor d’Art

Y’all two really trying to swindle money from grieving women… MEN  [Only one was grieving.  The other was having an affair, since those are highly common]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Imma.  Oooop… Second-hand embarrassment  [She's covering for him :)]  ☠️☠️☠️

☠️☠️☠️ Oooop she ain’t grieving too hard  [I'm sorry, but they're kinda cute]  They are

“You’re cute”

☠️☠️☠️ Aramis is gonna get the money and Porthos is gonna get a wife  [adslkfjlksadjf]

Candle sniffer?  Is that a person?  ☠️☠️☠️  [Candle snuffer, dear]  I know 😂

["Too often, you let your emotions get the better of you"  "Can we just get on with it"  Sir, that.  Proves the point]  ☠️☠️☠️

Oooop, I see what you’re doing, Athos

Blech

[I love Peter Capaldi]

Oooop.  That might not go well

[Love lines like "I can see you are a man of quick intelligence"... they’re always passive-aggressive digs]

How did he not see him?  Or hear that?  They are quite incompetent

[OH SHIT I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS]

Oooooop

“You killed my father”  [he’s making a habit of this]  “I mean, burned down my farm.  Prepare to die”

Well damn  [This has gone badly for young d'Artagnan]  d’Art, how do you really think this is gonna play out

[Of course Athos had to save him ☠️]  ☠️☠️

Awwww  [They turned it in a different direction, but I usually detest "I'm not like *you*" statements]

“Get some rest!”  How about dry off?

Bruh where did the rain go?

Bitch (Milady), why ain’t you ded?

[This is what I meant by “I remember what happens after this” btw]  Let me breathe on your mouth for a moment  [Shut up]

“Leave me alone, Athos”  Ma’am you came to him???  Womennnn

“I thought you had brains, but clearly not.”  Athos, what has he done for you to think that?  [alskdfjlsakdjf This is a valid question]

– – – 

Jezebel: Welp! First off the level of ack I feel about friends having to fight each other in a competition is like…. Skyrocketing.  Idk if it’s gonna be as awkward (they each think they will win, disappointment if they don’t) but I feel awkward about it lol!

Wench: You underestimate their loyalty, dear… I'm reasonably — like 90% — confident that they're only, like, half-competing.  Because this is the current main way they know to get d'Art his commission and he's running out of time.  And these three are, it's heavily implied, the best of the regiment so it’s kinda foolish to send a new recruit unless it’s more about getting him the commission.

Jezebel: Ohhhh they letting him win?

Wench: I suspect they've already gone to Treville and been like.  “Don't consider us for the tournament.”  I don't know for sure, but that's always been my interpretation.  Also, it's less "letting him win" and more "nudging him in the right direction and giving him sway with Treville."  Buddy's from Gascony and got that hot-headed pride thing going; he wouldn't accept their charity any more than he'd accept their money

Jezebel: Ohhhhhh! I see!!  I love them! 🙂

Wench: At least Athos, since he's heavily training d'Art to compete.  I'm less sure about Flort because they seem to kinda need the money 💀 

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️  Gonna be another: (Athos) “We weren't gonna try to win” -> (Porthos) “Weren't we?” -> (Aramis) “Next time let us know” things

Wench: aslkdjflkadsjf Exactly!!!

Jezebel: It feels like as of rn they have put Milady in the ep…. Just so she’s in the ep ☠️ Not that I’m complaining she’s aight but she just seems random

Wench: You ain't seen shit yet.  Also, in case you missed this, they're Heavily paralleling Athos and d'Artagnan in this ep.  Her being there is definitely intentional.  

Jezebel: Yes! I have 😂 Athos even said it ☠️

Wench: Ma'am.  He said one overt "you're more like me than you know"; that is not paralleling ☠️  And, if it were, it’s not the extent of the paralleling either 

Jezebel: Aight lay me out the parallels 😂😂

Wench: I'll tell you in endpoint; it's easier to avoid mincing my words

Jezebel: Speaking of tho!  I LOVE ATHOS TRAINING DART SM OMG!!!  And Flort are just fucking chaos. ☠️☠️ I love them! Porthos trying to talk to the widow tho was fucking adorable

Wench: I adore them all

Jezebel: Ready?

Wench: Yup!

– – – 

Ooooop

Ma’am!

She is so pretty tho 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Oooooop!  Oooooooooooooop!!

No, she didn’t

Oh nooooo  ["Who else is just going to walk up and hand me 30 livres"  Well, ya see-]  THIS IS WHY YOU ARE DUMB  [Constance was]  

PORTHOS!

OOOOP she’s giving him that look

[never trust "it doesn't matter"s]

HE BRUSHED HER HAIR BACK WITH HIS PINKY!?  THAT WAS ADORABLE

Ooooop!

[I kinda adore them; sorry to your Portamis plotting ☠️ ]  (Porthos) “What was I supposed to be getting again?”  (Aramis) “….. NOT THAT”

[Shocker, the marksman won the shooting competition alksdfj]  Aramis and that damn hat ☠️☠️☠️  [Oh, and the close-combat dude won the close-combat skirmish; who knew? :)]  OH THIS GIF SET!

Athos watching all proud  [*simultaneously* Also, in point of fact, I'm not actually sure Athos is competing at all]

Angry face

HE DIDNT FLINCH

“No control….”  Buddy. You knew this. Ahead of time. Why are you acting like it's new???

I see what you’re doing… Le gasp!  CARDINAL YOU ARE INSANE!  

PORTHOS!

Dawwwww

Ma’am!  SO ARE YOU 

Okay, not the last one.  But two out of three isn’t bad!

[Whoops]

Ma’am… It- Y’all- Sir.  THEY ARE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER  [Because they're so dumb? :)]  Yes

OOOP

He gone beat the hell out of herrrrr… Those things were allowed back then

Oooop

OOOOP

[Protective!Athos unlocked asldkfj]  Ooooop!

Treville knows he’s letting the guy fight huh?  [Not saying :)]

POOR DART!  [Poor Constance]  I KNOW

💔💔💔💔  The break in his voice when he said I want you

POOOR CONSTANCE

“Her name’s Alice”  Oooop-  [Callback to your earlier “Aramis is gonna get the money and Porthos is gonna get a wife” !!!]  Jealous Aramis

The Musketeers are like WOT

[Bruh.  Swordsman???  It's a.  Sword contest.  I know Athos didn't seem to be competing in the initial bracket.  But also. If the point is to win. ???]

They look like guard dogs ready to attack

[Once again, a very Doctor Who score… (Again, same dude, but it especially shows here)]  lol!

There goes the hat

[Also, gotta love Athos getting ready to throw hands the second Treville's arm got injured alksdjf]  Yes!!!  [Man was taking off his cloak in 0 time]

Welp ok.  King making up for all the childish behavior

[d'Artagnan needed to have his heart broken to not let it sway his actions ☠️]  💔💔💔💔

Ooooop!  He’s doing the thing! The thing Athos did!  [:))))]

Whoooop whooooop!  [I must say.  It's.  It's kinda biased.  To have the King.  Judging an assessment.  Involving the King's Musketeers]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oooooo!  Whoooop whoooop!

[Adore the fact that Athos gets to give it to him]

Ooooop!  She’s been had!  [Why is she surprised that the scheming, manipulating, control-freak Cardinal was being a scheming, manipulating, control-freak??]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Also, I'm sorry, but the Athos/Milady storyline is something that is so delectably twisted I can't even... I'll explain some in endpoint]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

“d’Art is the key”  ‘Cause he’s dumb

Sighhhh, womennnn

💔💔💔💔💔

Ack!  DON’T DO IT

HE DONE IT

HE DIDN’T DO IT

OOOOP!  She’s confused!

– – – 

Jezebel: Basic summary: Poor d’Art!  But also YAY D’ART!  But then poor Constance.  No really 💔💔💔💔 POOR CONSTANCE.  But Miladys face when he didn’t get in the carriage?  stunned 😀

Wench: Indeed

Jezebel: Also I didn’t absolutely hate the king this episode.  He seemed competent ☠️☠️ I retract my earlier statements about him 😂😂

Wench: Ma'am. He was still being the same childish king he's always been; he just happened to be childish in favor of the protagonists.

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️ ok fair

Wench: He just threw a competition as a way of proving that his men were better than the Cardinal's, and then he rigged that competition, and then he took the prize money on top of that laksdjf

Jezebel: This… is also true 😂😂  Anyway 😂 ummmmm… oh yeah! Porthossss 💔💔 he was so soft and non-tough-guy with Alice it was adorable.  And the “Who’ll look after you?” to Aramis???? 💕💕  (When she leaves)

Wench: Yeah  :) 

Jezebel: And Papa Treville! And how they all was like yeah fuck the competition soon as he got hurt! I love it!  And I did mention up there the look on Milady’s face when the lil dummy she was so sure she could seduce didn’t take the bait ☠️☠️ Now that may change I guess! But that was satisfying that he wasn’t like “well, bye, Constance; hello, Milady!”

Wench: This is true, and it's nice that he's not fickle... Fits in with his character, though, for the most part, so I'm not horribly shocked

Jezebel: Athos tho! I loved him this whole episode!  And his little "get down there before he changes his mind" (with a smirk)

Wench: Yesssss

Jezebel: Uhhhhh… the only thing I can say about Athos and Milady’s scene together was already said in the react, but how she was all “lemme stalk you” and then all “HMPH stop stalking me”... Like!?!?

Wench: You still don’t see the parallels?

Jezebel: Nope ☠️☠️ Just tell me

Wench: *sigh* Okay

Jezebel: 🙂

Wench: For reference, btw, we only have two more s1 episodes left.  Now, first, some contextual parallels: Have you noticed the running theme of scarring/binding/tying in Athos' and Milady's backstories?

Jezebel: Um. I- no? Maybe? You say that and all I think is her being hanged but I can’t remember where else it is happening or do you mean figuratively

Wench: Yes and no.  That’s the obvious example.  She was hanged.  She still "bears the token of [his] love" in the scar that remains.  She covers it up with a fine necklace --- a choker --- to obscure her past.  But less obviously... He still wears her locket.  She says that he gave her a necklace, and he still wears the chain that represents her around his neck.  Half the time he's drinking, his head is literally bowed by it.  Also, in his intro, the locket is the first real thing we see of his character.  He's hungover and drinking first, yes, but the second he gets his bearing/sits up, he pulls out the locket.  And that's before he even gets dressed/does his wake-up ritual.  Within that locket is a pressed forget-me-not (or an icon of the flower, but the point remains... a forget-me-not).  Additionally, the first time we see her, she's manipulating things so that he gets imprisoned --- weaponizing justice the same way she feels was done against her --- and quite literally manacled in the process.  Et cetera, et cetera.

Jezebel: Ok, so see! This is what I mean by I may see a parallel but would never see it that deep! I would see he wears her locket with a forget me not inside and be like ohhhhh he is like tormenting himself. And this I would not think about it again.  I would have never caught the choker being symbolic just that she needed something that fit to her neck… or she couldn’t hide the scar

Wench: And that's shown in their interactions too… In "Commodities," for example, when they both are back at Pinon: after she’s knocked him to the ground, she literally pulls him up to meet the dagger by the locket chain.

Still Wench: And yet it’s also why she can’t go through with killing him; she's so distracted by it that she takes too long and d'Artagnan shows up.

Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️ see now I caught that that threw her off ☠️☠️ I’m not fully unaware! 😂

Wench: Not surprised by this, but the scene still means more in context of the larger symbolism.  Then you've got the episode we just watched, where you have the alley scene, in which she literally tugs him closer via the chain.

Once again back to Wench: But even beyond the literal symbolism that's emphasized overtly on screen, it's their literal storyline… They're each orbiting the other, unable to let go completely but unable to forgive and forget and move on either.  Tied together by their mutual scarring --- whether literal or metaphorical --- and the literal ties that bind.

Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️ that is so sad and makes so much sense once pointed out omg

Wench: So.  Why have I spent so long yapping about this?  Because all of this context boils down to Milady deciding to sponsor d'Art.  And what does she do for him?  She gives him money, BUT.  Attached to that money.  Is nothing less than:

Still Wench: A necklace.  More than that, a forget-me-not pendant on a chain.

Jezebel: I meant to mention that more! I think I was like oooop or something but at first I thought it was THE locket! Like i thought she’d got it off Athos

Wench: It's not, but what it is is a cheaper-quality pendant.  It's not a locket; it's just an oval with a carving.  It's stark and cold, harsh and engraved.  Molded.  Like, one might say, a woman who's been through shit and decided to embrace the role of criminal she feels shoved into.  Athos', meanwhile, is a locket.  It's got the actual flower, soft and natural and encapsulated in time.  A happy memory encased in pendant form.  But it's also not intact.  It's old and withered and slightly tarnished: the necklace equivalent of that warm and happy glow they always use for the Athos/Milady flashbacks.

Jezebel: I am sitting here reading this like…. Bruh, these are blink and you’ll miss them moments and here she is just pulling full detailed parallels out of her ass…. But they make sense and make the characters so much deeper and sadder… ack

Wench: I'm boutta add a bit more, whoops :)  Because this shows up in the context of Milady offering to sponsor d'Artagnan, right?  She's offering him money.  But the chain comes with the money.  Her influence comes with the money.  They have to go together, or they don't go at all.  If he takes that money, he becomes even more indebted to her than he already was.  And he does take it.  And he takes the necklace (her "care," her influence, his debt to her) too.  AND… this is what gets him and Constance in trouble.  It's Bonacieux seeing d'Art and Milady together and discovering that necklace that prompts him to follow d'Art.  It's Milady's meddling influence that keeps screwing things up for them.  BUT it’s not all bad because, when the necklace goes missing and Constance asks about it, he dismisses it --- her influence, his debt to her --- as unimportant.  He lets it go.  She does it again --- not with a necklace, but still --- at the end: she offers him a ride in her carriage, and it’s just a simple offer, but with strings --- literally --- attached

Jezebel: (I was waiting cause it seemed you were gonna add more to that! Since he declines the offer)

Wench: Oh, no.  Nothing immediately attached.  But I will say... The more I (re)watch, the more I realize that she's got a lot of the archetypes of the devil figure.  (That's the character who offers a temptation but gets control of you in return)

Jezebel: Oooooo! 👀 I can see that

Wench: She consistently offers things to people --- love to Athos, power to the Cardinal, a hodgepodge of things for d'Art --- but it's not as easy as it seems.  With the sole exception of the Cardinal (because he's an unstable force that she can't fully manipulate), she gets nearly interminable power over the people who take her up on it 

Still Wench: Anyway, that's the main but extensive parallel between Athos and d'Artagnan in this episode.  Athos outright says, "you're more like me than you know" (paraphrased), and they show it, bit by bit, with this running symbolism.  They're alike, but not the same.  They have similar necklaces --- similar ties to Milady --- but not identical ones.  d'Art hasn't and never will have the same opportunity to be influenced by her as Athos did --- he first met her when she framed him for murder, so he's not quite as inclined to trust her as Athos (who met her when she was either not the same person or pretending to not be the same person, depending on your interpretation) --- but he's nonetheless swayed by her.  Similar, but not the same.  See?

Jezebel: Yes! I do! 😂 though I never would have before! So thank you 😂😂😂

Wench: :)  np!  Any overall responses though?  ☠️ I kinda took over

Jezebel: More of a question… Am I just seeing her look confused he didn’t get in the cart, or is that gonna play into this little “she can sway Dart to come to the Cardinal men” thing she had because she doesn’t have the hold over him she thinks?

Wench: Wot

Jezebel:

Wench: Hellooooo?

Jezebel:

Wench: Good night, dear

-- -- --

*the next morning*

Jezebel: I was falling asleep ☠️ but I can’t remember if you ever commented on if there was a point to be made about him not getting in the cart with her. Like he can resist her and she didn’t expect that, or something. And because it seemed like you hadn’t responded I was asking basically if I was looking too deep into it. Like sure maybe she was like: oh ok then. But to me she looked legitimately shocked, as this came right after her telling the Cardinal it would be easy to sway him in their favor. If that makes more sense ☠️😂

Wench: It does a bit, yeah, and, to answer…  I kinda adressed it, but only a bit, with the "She does it again --- not with a necklace, but still --- at the end: she offers him a ride in her carriage, and it’s just a simple offer, but with strings --- literally --- attached.”  It's another way of drawing him closer/getting him under her influence.  And she's feeling Really Confident --- as you said --- about her skill at influencing him.  But what he does is a) show loyalty and b) show love.  (Both for Constance, but still).  This is particularly important because, if you think back to the pilot when they *coughs discreetly behind my fan* laid together, he saw the scar around her neck, asked about it, and, upon hearing that her husband had her almost killed, offers to kill said husband for her.  So what we have here is a conflict between her influence and the other people in d'Artagnan's life, and she's been counting on her influence being strongest.  (Which is partly because that's how it worked with Athos... even now, buddy can't move on.)  But she just got proof that it's very clearly not.  He just prioritized Constance (someone who'd just broken up with him, too, and seemingly very cruelly, even if Milady didn't know that) over her, and that's a sign that maybe she's too used to her own allure working and she's misjudged d'Artagnan's character,  But it's just a minor thing, so it's not panic yet, just confusion.  Does that make sense?

Jezebel: Yes! 🙂

Wench: Good... I feel like half of this shit is not what it is in my head laksdfj

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ doubt it, because everything you say makes so much sense

Wench: ☠️😭

Jezebel: The emojissssss

Wench: Shut up  But I have had months to think about this.  And more since the book.

Jezebel: That was all I had for endpoint though! I just really wanted your two way more than two but I love it cents on that look

-- -- --

Wench edit, many days later: It's occurring to me that those "oop"s are very incomprehensible but idk what they referred to, so I can't put in signal phrasing... sorry :] (Blame Jezebel)

#jezebel (pr) #musketeers #the musketeers #bbc musketeers #bbc musketeers reactions #athos #porthos #aramis #d'artagnan #portamis #<very heavy this time #s01e08 #the challenge

[adelle-ein]

hi! i cant believe i saw ur post about my tags! (no worries about @ing or not @ing me.) and ur SO RIGHT about the quality being too high for 2013… (id also love an aesthetic writeup)

it really was just a surprise because the number of gif creators has been drastically reduced since this post type has been dying out on all other platforms. for me it gave me the similar vibe of recent dvd movies being redesigned for vhs covers (tho not quite that old). it was super charming!

and i hope i didnt imply that your gif work was bad or outdated! i think the colors are quite fitting and the quality speaks for itself.

im quite new to the fe3h and ferdibert scene, so im having a great time trawling tumblr for all the great posts ive missed since 2019. i was quite happy to see this particular gif post because it felt like such a classic tumblr staple, like all ships need (at least) one dedicated set of gifs/edits, and this was the one i needed 🥰

thanks again, for both your original post AND reply!

Hi! I'm glad there's no worries there, I went back and forth for a bit and I didn't want it to feel like a callout post because. it was very much not! I just wanted to talk about gif stuff a little bit

and I definitely don't feel bad about your comments or anything! At first I was surprised but when I went and looked at the gifset I definitely agreed with you (despite nitpicks about the time period heh.) It did make me think about how, in general, I don't think tumblr gif-making trends have continued changing as much since the mid-2010s, and if they have I stopped really keeping up with them. I think some of that is probably just me, esp due to my never buying Photoshop CC (i remember looking at others' methods in maybe 2016ish and seeing that I just didn't have the tools others did anymore. my old CS6 is still chugging along…) but also due to the site becoming less popular over time and there being less interest and fewer people getting into gif-making. Like you said it's a bit of a dying medium, and it's never really been a popular post type on other platforms, so if not for tumblr who would people be making gifsets for?

Lol I definitely feel you about that style of post being an older ship staple though! It used to be such a common thing that every fandom had (albiet less for video games bc that's often harder - I do not honestly remember really making that series of 3h ship gifs but that was definitely dedication to the cause at the time, there was so little media to work with). Now a bit of a dying art alas (including from me since I don't really make many gifs at all anymore….learning to draw instead for a number of reasons)

Anyway yes that was a fun rabbit hole to go down! Genuinely I would love to read a Tumblr gif/graphic aesthetic writeup - putting framerates aside I don't think people really use textures that much anymore for example unless they need a background, and sharpening has definitely been toned down. And fewer song quotes. And filters still lean more pastel than the really saturated stuff in the early 2010s. But I don't really have the time atm to do some kind of deep dive myself…it would be really neat though!

(Also just in general as someone who never left, seeing the site come back to life a little bit as the twitter BS kicked off has been fun…idk if it will last but i'm enjoying it while it does!)

#itsquip #ask #txt

[tiptapricot]

MK liveblog thoughts, The Tomb

I wanna know what the other gods on the wall were imprisoned for

Another banger logo theme

THE BEETLE CLIMBING AT THE START N ITS A LAYLA SCENE SCARLET SCARAB MOMENT AHHGGGH

This was the first ep I watched when it came out initially bc I joined a lil after ep 3 n it still slaps

Layla handles this opening so well n it’s so claustrophobic but so well shot n acted n staged

It’s dark but still ur able to see n the way the camera stays w her n peeks out n all that AFGHHHB

“Looks like he’s dead” nah he’s just snoozing

HER COLOR HEING RED THE FLARE THE FLARE ITS SO LRETTY SHES SO AMAZING THE WAY HER FACE LOOKS IN THIS SCENE IS SO CRISP N A LITTLE TANNED THIS IS HER EPPPPPPP

Layla my love my love ur so badass

—Steven, watching her right after

Layla has a skilled desperation to her combat it’s v interesting

This ep is one of the prettiest I think w the sun lighting n just the colors in diff scenes idk

Also it’s Laylas second prettiest ep

“Our deal didn’t have you getting Layla and us killed that’s not gonna fly w me” Marc haha just wait no it’ll be funny I promise

“Well… handt he distappered from ur life already” UR SO FUNNY

Steven ily

“Yeaowrite”

The desert sky clouDSS

MK like: chuck mr isaac back in that desert again

LAYLA LOOKS SO PRETTY THIS EPISODE OK LIKE SGE DOES ITS RIDICULOUS

Steven shining the light in his face lol

“Innit” “plonker” category five British event two dead in one body

“Oh whatevah 🙄 “

“You in love? Huh you in love with my wife?”

The blood spatter n the nose hook ohhhh this ep is so eerie creepy

The lighting in front of the tomb makes both of them glow

Layla having Steven smell like Marc is such a like…. Weird but also sad moment of like… having to separate the two n her having a hard time n then Steven makes it v obvious by telling her ab Khonshu

BEING HINESTY BEING HONESTY IM HONNA YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

KISSING SMOICHING KISSING N SMOOCHING YEAHHHH BABY YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAHHHHH YEAH YEAH KISS HER KISS KISS KISS SMOOCH KISS SMOOCH LAYLA UR SO PRETTY STEVEN ILY THE MUSIC IS SO NICE

“What’s belay?”

Laylas laugh is so cute

GET HIT EAT SHIT

“R u okay?? 😟” “yeah I’m aces”

THIS IS SUCH A STEVENLAYLA EP IT MAKES ME WANNA SHOOT MYSELF INTO SPACE

“Id be frilled, id shit maself but id be frilled”

The tongue clicking…

When u drop trauma n ur like haha no biggie “yeah dads dying happen haha nah it’s fine I’m good lol” n then Steven is so SWEET

Also the score

Again

“Not such a bad way to go, is it? Let’s fine out ;-)” “yeah… let’s find out” you sure do Steven

“It’s a maze” “it’s a maze ing”

Steven’s 3D layout skills r so much better than mine

Tho also I still dk how the maze scene works how is the eye of horus connected what part r they standing in

The only part that rlly bothers me ab this ep

The blue ish green lighting here is so good n Layla looks so like: that’s my guy :-)

“The tounggggggue”

“Oh my god. Oh god. Is that fresh blood? And those little meaty bits?” He sounds so cute but also so grossed out

Meaty trail w meaty bite hehOO

Laylas like “baby c’mon we gotta keep moving I get ur uncomfy but u gotta work w me”

Grossness Overwhelmed by Special Interest. Category 5 autism moment someone dead in a couple scenes but not yet

The heka priest is so fucking GROOOOOOOSSSS N CREEEPYYYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

If I had a nickel for shows I loved that involved on screen mummification id have two etc etc (shout out to miss fisher)

I hate the gloop sounds

Layla again is never not afraid I can see she’s scared but she always keeps moving n it keeps u on the edge of ur seat bc u feel like you’d b the same

“I squished it… I squished it” ILY STEVENNNNN

Ppl talk ab ppl looking good when they’re disheveled n sweaty n layla el faouly deserves to b in that this woman is perspiring n her hair is messy n she has never looked better

This ep is

So fucking

SCARY

The hand coming out of the dark the crumbling rock knowing there’s stuff in the crevices like spiders

Layla using the red flares as weapons, red being her color, scarlet

HER SCREAM AFTER FIGHTING THE HEKA PRIEST MAY CALAMAWY THE ACTRESS YOU AAAARE AGGHGGGHEIEJJRJDJDKKDJFNBFHDIDIDJHDJDJDJNDBDHDJKDJEIURJR

Fear of being chased by a zombie thing and for ur crush outdone by autism, one zombie dead, feelings injured.

Marc’s voice is so soft when he talks ab the like “so you kissed her” thing

Steven’s autistic joy in this scene I know I’ve talked ab it already but finding Alexander’s tomb is just

I LOVE HIM

Layla already being emotionally high strung from the fight n harrow just reeling her in

N the way Layla just looks tired n angry n pale n washed out n just… baby I wanna hug you

HAHA NVM STEVEN IS EXCITED AGAIN IM :-)

Steven lip bite moment that man likes to bite skin (in a stim way)

“Oh so sorry, sorry mr great” *throat grossed out sounds*

I love him

“Ah ew >:-(“

Laylas eye bags my beloved

The way she realized harrow is rlly getting to her as he describes the scarf n her face breaks n she tries to hide it GodDD

N then there’s the hint of tears n snot n just just just just JUST

N then she breaks when she turns the corner like going to ur room to cry

“Layla! Look! We won! HahAA!! And the ushabti goes to.. us :-)”

“Youarright luv :-(?”

The confrontation n Marc like like

He’s forced to b vulnerable in front of her n his breath shakess n it’s almost like he’s accepting that he was there all over again

He looks so broken dude FUCK

FUCK

Man y’all rmr the week everyone was like “Jake killed her dad” I hated that

Layla baby baby I’m so sorry

“But I didn’t die that night and… I should’ve”

“Oh my god… that’s the reason that we met” MAY CALAMAWY THE ACTRESS Y—

“I’ll hold them off,” famous last words lol

“COME ON” he pushes the anger out n then when he confronts harrow again there’s that bit of fear again n the axe lowers n he’s still feeling the trial

The lighting is lovely here too truly this ep is amazing w that

The GOLDEN VIBES

THE SPEED OF THE SHOT THE IMMEDIATE SILENCE THE CUT TO LAYLAS FACE IM EATING WOOD IM IM IM IM

AND THE SHOT OF THEM FALLING IM IM IM IM

THE SINKING INTO THE WATER INTO SINKING INTO THE VOID W THE MUSIC THIS SCENE MAKES ME FUCKINH UNHINGED OK IT IT LIKE IT OK UM IT LIKE AHHHGGGGHHHGGHHHGGHH N THN HE FALLS INOT LIGHT INTO THE MOON INTO THE FLASHLIGHT INTO TOMB BUSTER

The way the fucking BLACK GUTTERS CHANGE TO BOX TV SIZZE

AFGHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYFFGHH

N then it pulls back n the old gutters push back in n it’s it’s ahhhh

N then we’re Marc’s pov w the camera being pushed away from the TV n turned around n pushed past the patients n the guy pushing the cart w the cupcakes is Bec n n then we stop by the window n see we’re Marc as he turns to it

MaNNNN

The red scarab on Laylas bandage n we won to I won w how he views her moving away from him

THE WAY HE CALLS FOR STEVEN IMMEDIATELY IM NEVER GONNA B OK IM NOT IM NOT IM NOT AHHGGGGJJJHGGH

The musiCCCCX AFGHHHGHH THE BREATHING

The asmr is nice tho the soft talking n the closeness of the voices

Love the tomb buster cover

Dr harrow I hate you

But also I do like listening to u talk

Love all the details in the office n how it’s the place they were barricaded in w the jackal

Shout out to that fly

THE WAY MARCS WORLD CLEARS N HE CAN FOCUS WHEN HES REMINDED OF STEVEN WHEN PPL U CARE AB GROUND YOU N LET YOU KEEP HOLD OF YOURSELF AGGGHHHVHHHHHHHHJ

The score does an amazing job of building in the background

God this scene is hard to watch in a well done way but god watching Marc crawl to the door is

Yeah

Marc is still scared of harrow n he is what his brain latched into for being not believed and being gaslit bc that’s who he was irl

The way the lights swing bc they’re on a boat YESSS

I always think of Steven’s sarcophagus as blue but then it’s white

“Steven?” “Marc?” “Steven!” Marc!”

THE HUGGFFFFFFF TEAHHHH YEHA YEAH YEAHBEHSJSJKEN YEAH WAHOOOOOO TEAH WYEGHAHOK

Marc Spector I love you I love you

LET HIM OUT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS LET HIM OUT OF THE BOX LET HIM OUT HES THERE LET HIM OUT

Steven’s lil point YEAH HES THERE LET HIM OUT LET HIM TF OUT

hi ;-)

AHHGGGHJJJUYYIOUGFG

Man

MAN

I love them I love them I love them

I love that the ending credits always have a setting shot n it changes w each ep from London to Cairo to London and Cairo reflected ahhhh n it’s water at the start of this one

My dad pointed out the shot in the credits of dunes that resemble Khonshu’s head n I hadn’t noticed that before that fucks

#the fruit is talking again #MK liveblog

[metanoiahh]

Thoughts

Whenever i see romanticized girl behaviour in any kind of media, whether it be books, movies TV shows, memes even, a warm feeling spreads through my chest. Im on about the kind of thing like; dancing while trying on clothes, or simply dancing while you're alone in your room, Singing at the top of your lungs, reading a book while looking like the women written like a man do in movies- Hear me out, i love the female gaze because it is relatable, a personification of what we live through in girlhood (which surprise, i have a feeling it lasts forever) and most important, in most cases its not objectifying us as an item of seduction, constant slow moves and mannerisms that are hypnotizing even when nobody is watching. The male gaze however, is the complete opposite to that.

Now, i cant assure you im not talking from a place of being completely submerssed into what existing should look like thanks to the media. I can tell you i dont fit the standards and that half the things are spread as girl things, i have never done. And i think that is where this is all coming from, i am dying to be a woman like those in rom-coms that are gracefull while drinking a cup of wine in a button up white shirt and high socks, at the same time im dying to be the messy teenager karaoke-ing and giving the concert of my life to simply my pillows. I want to be all that and thrive doing it.

How i love being a woman.

Lol, this was a tiny rant that im not sure makes sense. I just wanted to leave some thoughts down. :))

#this is a girlblog #just girly posts #girlblogging #just girly things #2014 tumblr #bring back 2014

[fiendfremd]

Okay I'm going to post my thoughts on this last year, upcoming year and upcoming 10th year anniversary of making games behind the cut. I want to be as honest as possible so it might be kinda sad down there. You have been warned.

2022 was a weird year for me. I started off strong and things just slowly got worse over time.

I was invited to the Tiny Games Bundle and had a blast making Tomorrow for Mar for that. I'm ultimately sad about what happened to the bundle bc I still think it's a fantastic idea, it just wasn't in the cards.

Next was nano and starting work on Butterblue. At the time this felt like a mistake, I was coming straight off the back of finishing Tomorrow for Mar and I was exhausted and I knew I couldn't finish it in time and was aiming for a demo.

In hindsight, this was one of the best things I could have done. Honestly, I just really really want to make farming sims crossed with VNs and I knew if I pushed that off any longer I'd be dying. So even though I only finished a demo and the response was pretty lukewarm, I'm glad I finally started on the projects I've been wanting to make for so long.

After nano I had a month off which was good because I then jumped into Otomejam with a team!

Aaannddd this is why this is behind a read more on my secret personal blog lol.

The jam ended with me having a mental breakdown as I sat crying on my garage floor sobbing unable to move as my neighbors were drunk karaoke-ing Country Roads.

I did not have a good time with this jam. It started fine but then took a bad turn for the worse at the tail end of development. I was told "its okay to ask for help!" And then when I asked for help I was ripped into. The whole process was extremely mercenary-esque and that just... isn't really what I was looking for.

I'm in a lot of pain and whatever it is I'm looking for with my creative passions, I'm not getting it from working in groups in gamejams.

I like making games. I like making bad games. I like expressing myself.

I'm not able to make games on a professional level. I am not a professional gamedev, despite the fact that I work on them like 3 hours a day.

This has continuously clashed with a lot of the gamedev spheres I've been in. So many people have approached me and its later come out that they saw me as a "charity case". That if I "just marketed myself more, polished off all these edges and be normal for one day" I would be a Viral Hit.

Uh. I can't be "normal" for one day. The stuff that makes my work so unique is also what fucks it up from finding any sort of mainstream success. And sometimes I'm okay with that. But a lot of times I'm sad not bc im sad about not being "successful" but because so many people see me as that "Charity Case".

If I ever work with a group again for a gamejam I will be ultra clear that at the end of it we will have: 1 finished game, 3 comments, and maybe 20 notes across the social media landscape. That's it. That's what is going to be made. And expecting more than that will make you disappointed and I sure hope you don't end up blaming me!! 💦💦💦

After otomejam I just. Imploded. I worked on butterblue but at a much slower pace. It was good to work on something just to keep my mind off of everything.

It's been hard this year. Coming into 2022 I thought I had a great lineup for the year, and I was able to finish all my projects (with butterblue pending) but it was extremely painful getting there.

Not only was "online gamedev activities" painful this year but "offline gamedev activities" was the worst yet.

I tried to restart my local gamedev club and during one of the meetings there was this guy just GLARING at me the whole time. I had to physically bring the textbooks I was cited in to get any sort of foothold in the room. These meetups aren't for creatives finding like minded creatives. It's for entrepreneurial tech bros to have dick measuring contests.

I once read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. People show you who they are. My biggest flaw is that I don't believe people when they show me who they are. I think "they can't possibly be that bad...." or "well I did say something stupid, that's why they yelled at me". I keep choosing to go to these same gamedev groups and finding the same people who are the same type of dismissive toward me and I keep surprised pikachu meme-ing. At this point, I've been through 4 different state wide gamedev groups that share roughly the same handful of people.

There's no place for me in the community that exists.

It's hard and I've been fighting it, thinking "well certainly one of these has to work". But it's been 10 years since I first started making games, and 6 years since I started attending local gamedev clubs in my area. I have searched high and low. Through valley and mountain. There is no place for me.

Maybe that's a death sentence. I certainly felt that way the last few years and was so desperate to make anything work. But I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm still here making games.

Maybe it's a death sentence. But it's not a quick death. It's a slow death, carried out over the years by progressive isolation.

But maybe that's also just life.

So as of now, I've stopped trying. I dropped out of all the gamedev clubs I've ever been in. (Save for one I'm waiting until after magfest to leave) Next year... idk. I don't know what my plans are, outside of finishing butterblue and working on a friend's game.

I want to chase things that bring me joy. If everything else is fucked beyond recognition, I at least want to have fun doing it.

I love making art and creative works. I love farming sims and I love strategy games. And there isn't a place for me at any of the "gamedev" tables but I'll make do anyway.

[cosmokyrin]

I’m havING RWBY WITHDRAWALS AND RESORTED TO MMD / RWBY ANIMATIONS AND I CAN’T BREATHE HELP

#summer rose #rwby #strq #team strq #mmd #she's a brat quoth the branwen #she could'VE BEEN LIKE THIS #IM DY ING LOL