Tumgik
#IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY ITS SO SAD
bl00doodle · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
DOODELS
794 notes · View notes
dr3comebackera · 4 months
Text
Daniel Ricciardo on his Zandvoort crash, surgery on his broken hand, recovery process, and return in Austin
Tom Clarkson: "Now you mentioned the elephant in the room, Zandvoort. FP2, Turn 3, what happened?"
Daniel Ricciardo: "I *awkward laugh*, I mean I obviously can remember it very clearly, since I didn't hit my head. Erm, but, so you come through, turn, I guess it's Turn 2, and it's over kind of a crest, but then you stay quite tight, because, then the line for 3, you ride the top of the banking. So you know, you're not taking a conventional racing line, so you're not like looking at the apex, you're looking at the top of the corner, pretty much. Like, as a driver, we're always looking ahead and normally like at the apex, but the way you exit 2, you then kind of look straight ahead and pick your braking point."
DR: "So at that point, I'd exited 2, I hadn't seen any yellows, nothing like that. And then by the time I've looked and braked, I then looked where I need to turn, and I see Oscar. This all happened so quickly, but I remember, I can, obviously I'm picturing it in my head now. So I remember, okay, the line we take is high and by this point I'd braked, so I'd already committed, so I knew the speed I was going. My only choice was to take the high line, but I could see his car was at the top of the track. So there wasn't enough room for me to pass through the high line. I'm going too fast to take a low line, so it was either, probably look like a real idiot and crash into him, or try and just slow the car as much as I can, and likely just crash into the barriers, which is what happened."
DR: "But yeah, because it was all, I guess I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do, by the time then I'd committed to just going straight, I hadn't then realized, 'okay, take your hands off the wheel.' And a lot of us still don't do it, because crashing is not natural. And it happens so quickly, because you don't plan to crash, so a lot of the time you don't kind of have, yeah, the time to be like, 'okay, I'm crashing, what do I need to do? Brace myself, okay, take my hands off the wheel.' Sometimes you just don't have the luxury of time."
DR: "So, that was it, I hit the wall. I've only watched one replay, but I just don't, I don't want to. Basically, when I've gone in, I'm pretty sure like the right front, it's just the angle, right, the right front would've grabbed the Tecpro [barrier] first, and then that's, like, pulled it in, so it's, it's like I've turned really hard right, the way obviously it's grabbed the wheel. So because the wheels then turned so quickly, I've basically lost grip, so it spun out of my hands, and the bottom of the [steering] wheel, which is pure, hard carbon, has then come up and basically karate chopped my hand."
DR: "So then, you've got the shock of the crash and then adrenaline, so I've come on the radio, and I'd, I think I'd been like, oh sorry, like I've crashed or something. And then, is he like 'oh, you alright?' or 'can you continue?' and I was like, 'no, the car is damaged.' And then, I could feel my hand, and I was like, 'ow, my hand, my hand.' And then I just, it started to, like the pain just went, obviously ramped up really, really quickly, and I feared that something was bad. So, as I'm, I wanted, I was like, 'I need to get my glove off, I need to get my glove off.' And as I'm pulling my glove off, I remember, I was thinking, *awkward huffy laugh*, I was like 'if there's a bone through the skin, I'm gonna pass out.' So that's all, I was just like 'please, please don't let me see anything gruesome.' I'm not good with this stuff, I'm sweating telling it, like I'm serious. I suck at this.
TC: "Have you broken a bone before?"
DR: "I broke my arm as a kid at school, throwing a tennis ball. Anyway, yeah, another very random accident, and I didn't need surgery, that was like a long, long healing process."
DR: "But yeah, so, alright, so I've pulled my glove off, and I, I could see it was already quite swollen, but no bone through the skin. I was like, 'okay.' But then the pain just got so bad, so as soon as I jumped into the medical car, I was *long pause* making a lot of noises, because I was in a lot of discomfort. So I knew that it was not good. I knew immediately, obviously, I wasn't going to race on the weekend. Like I didn't need a doctor to tell me. I feared it was a broken bone. I think the first thing that really kind of just made me sad, was I just had a very, very productive summer break. I felt really, really good physically, and I was just, yeah I was just ready to go. And this just felt like an unfortunate setback. But I was just more worried about surgery and all that, because I'm, again, I'm a bit of a wuss.
TC: "What happened next, I mean, you went down to Barcelona, to Dr. Xavier Mir, who is renowned in the MotoGP world, for mending those sort of breaks. I also think he was, didn't he help Lance Stroll earlier in the year as well?" "Yeah" "So who put you in touch with him, or did you know him already?"
DR: "So from the medical center, we went to the hospital there in Amsterdam. Got scans, and they're like, 'yeah, it's broken.' And by this point, it's the size, like, looked like an elephant stepped on my hand. The doctor there said, 'look, I would recommend surgery.' He's like, 'you can have it here, but you probably want to wait anyway a few days for the swelling to go down. Speak to whoever you need to speak to and obviously you can have your surgery wherever you want, I'm just going to give you my advice.' So then we reached out to Lance, we reached out to, well Jose, a friend of ours who works with Alpinestars, so he knows all the MotoGP guys, and he, he's Spanish as well, so he knows. So he, I think, put us into touch with Xavier Mir, and then, yeah, Lance was like 'go to him' as well. All signs were just pointing to, this guy's done this too many times, just go see him. Like, like don't even bother, just go there.
DR: "So it was, it was a blessing and a curse because, *laughs* he does a lot of MotoGP guys, who, are not human. They are not. It's fact, they are not. So, I think there's an expectation of me going in there, he's like 'oh, F1, MotoGP, same! Not human, don't feel pain.' 'No, doctor, I feel pain. I'm going to cry for the next 48 hours whilst I'm in this hospital.' So it was just funny, they, I think, you know, all the doctors and nurses and that who were helping me, and they were great, but I think they were, they were just quite, they would laugh a lot, because I would wince and pull away and ask questions every needle that went into my arm. Erm, so I think they just thought I would be tough like a MotoGP rider, but I am not."
TC: "I'm sure you were."
DR: "No, no, trust me, I'm not. The break itself was quite significant. It was a shatter, like it wasn't like, oh you just break it clean down the middle. I think it was in eight pieces or something. So it was also, for a bone that can be quite a simple one, it wasn't too pretty."
TC: "So it's your pinky that was being affected by it?" "Erm, well..." "On your left hand?"
DR: "It's like the outside of the hand. So that's the bone I broke, in between like the wrist and the pinky, like that knuckle. So like along the outside there. But even me just rubbing my finger over the top of my hand, hurt like crazy. Maybe I just feel pain more than others, I don't know. *laughs* But er, sorry, I just want to, just let's also say one thing. There was also the reality where, yes, I would moan and complain because I don't like the pain. But it was a broken hand, so there was also a part of me which was like, 'look, dude, yes you're in pain and it's going to be a bit of a process, but people have worse injuries, people have bigger accidents.' So don't get me wrong, I also tried to reality check myself through it all, and I think that's what made me quite, like remain quite positive."
TC: "You missed five races, you came back for Austin. Was there any talk of you getting back earlier, maybe for Qatar?"
DR: "So I knew, I was doing physio every day, and I was, I was doing what I could to come back as soon as possible. But I also wanted to make sure, and I think, you know, Red Bull/Alpha Tauri were really good with this, I wasn't fighting for a world championship, like it's not like, dude you need to just drive through immense pain and just get a point, you know because this is your titles on the line. Like it was, let's make sure you do this and heal properly, and get the right treatment, because also you've got, hopefully a second part of your career which is going to be long and glorious. So it was just, don't compromise anything that you then have a bum hand for the next two years of your career, three years, whatever. So it was good, I could just do it properly."
DR: "Qatar was talked about, I went on the sim the week of Qatar, on the Monday, but I couldn't, er, yet, drive with the full force of the steering, like so we would like bring the feedback down. Er, I just couldn't grip it and do more than like two laps at full strength. So it was very clear that Qatar was out of the question, and also for me to come back and like, yeah, I don't know, not drive at my best and then, no, that no one benefits. I don't benefit, the team doesn't. So er, it was that, at that point we're like, let's just go all in for Austin and make sure I'm good for that."
TC: "And Liam was doing a decent job as well"
DR: "Exactly, he was doing well and there was also, I think Red Bull were great to give me a contract whilst I was injured, to give me a contract for next year. So I, I had that-"
TC: "That was very significant, wasn't it?" "Yeah" "They actually signed you long-term when you were on the sidelines?"
DR: "Yeah, there's so much about being back in the Red Bull family this year that's felt good and right, and I think that was such a, yeah just such like a big thing for them to do that. I think obviously it showed they have a lot of faith in me. It also put to bed if anyone was like, 'oh you know, is there still any issues from their previous relationship years ago? Like is there any carryover tension or whatever?' Like, for them to do that, I think it was very much like, he's our kid and we're going to support him because we believe in him and- So that was really nice."
TC: "So you come back for Austin, and were there any ill effects there? Because I mean, that's a quick track, sector one in particular."
DR: "Er, no, like in, in short no. Erm, I think the race, I got into it quickly and, and, and I was actually honestly expecting more pain in Austin. I was expecting like every kind of bump or kerb I'd hit would be like 'ow, ow, ow.' But it was okay, and erm, I think it was just an endurance I needed to build so like, towards the end of the race, I could feel like my grip strength was maybe not as good as at the start of the race. But honestly, I was, I was fine. And I think that was another thing, I didn't want to get back into a race and then be like, 'yeah I could have done better, but you know, my hand was not up to full strength.' Or like, I was like, this can't be an excuse, and it wasn't, so it was all good."
TC: "And Daniel, you were never going to miss Austin, right?"
DR: "No, I couldn't. I would've loved the result to be better, but no, I couldn't miss Austin.
TC: "The track, the place"
DR: "Yeah, yeah. I love it."
78 notes · View notes
yellowocaballero · 22 days
Note
Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?
Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!
I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.
I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.
I am going to talk about the prologue.
The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.
Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.
But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.
They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.
I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?
Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.
Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.
At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.
What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.
It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.
But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.
ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?
When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.
#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences#i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason#its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience#that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told#it's. incredible.#in stars and time#start again start again start again#start again: a prologue#isat#god and there is so so so so much more to say here#what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby#i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all.#i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did#but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim#and i write about it a lot#and video games about being video games are wonderful#as are stories about being stories#and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us.#never played a video game that used its medium so well#i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think#stories about stories have to be about why we love stories#and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art#i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while.#some people need to be anywhere but here#and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever#baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot
51 notes · View notes
Text
im devastated. i got a microwaveable curry from costco and. its not good. Why
33 notes · View notes
karineverse · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
53 notes · View notes
kohakhearts · 23 days
Text
theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh
13 notes · View notes
skitskatdacat63 · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
2005 Chinese Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(ft. Flavio Briatore)
#not pictured but: CRYING LAUGHING AT THE FACT THAT NANDO SET HIS OWN CAR ON FIRE BY REVVING FOR FUN TOO MUCH 😭😭#and the commentators saying 'well kids will be kids' abt it ^ im having a moment 🥺🥺🥺#not pictured: NANDO SINGING WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS ON THE RADIO 🥺🥺 I DIDNT REALIZE IT WAS FROM THIS RACE IM CRYINGNGGGG#all of the nando/flavio moments....if i speak-#theres just so many things i am staring intently at#SCREAMING CRYING THATS HIS BOY!!!! HIS BOYYYYY!!!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!#im glad no one is around me when i watch race podiums bcs i make so many embarrassing squealing noises AHJDKFLFLLF#hate this podium(/s) bcs its peer-pressuring me into watching 2006 next...ahhhhh i might..#renault nando is just so....hes just sooooooo...he is my blorbo and i want more of him but ahhhh....#its really really so cute to imagine that zhou is somewhere at the racetrack watching nando win the wcc#apologies to ralf and kimi who are also on this podium but not pictured here but this is fernando's podiums theres too much good content#i hate to cut down these gif posts to 10 but then again i cant just post all 20 gifs i did make#speaking of gifs that didnt make it into this post theres one of him holding up '7' which will be included in a dif post!!#anyways im v sad that this journey is over but proud of myself for finishing it and posting all of these#tysm to everyone whos been here since round 1!! its been a lot of fun and i appreciate your support sm heheh#but worry not! the grind never stops! 2005 may be done but theres so many seasons i wanna watch#fernando alonso#fa14#2005 chinese gp#2005 chinese grand prix#renault nando#renault#flavio briatore#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#(2005: 19/19 races watched)#<- well that was satisfying to type out! :D
71 notes · View notes
velolceraptor · 22 days
Text
Me thinking about Ben: teehee he looks like such a silly goofy guy °v° He's kinda dumb but that's okay :) and hee hoo hee hoo silly silly little redheaded fellow tee hee!
Also me: Ben looks like he gets verbally beaten by his family for his low intellect and probably has a lot of pent up rage while dealing with it in unhealthy ways. He also seems like the type to fear falling behind and whenever he's showed up (embarrassed; put to shame) he takes it in the worst way possible since he's dealt with it so many times, quickly growing tired of it. But he's also probably insecure about himself and was probably shamed for it so for most of the time like school, family, and after school clubs, he probably puts on a face and lies about everything, trying to suppress his emotions and not make a scene. He probably and maybe constantly tries to prove his worth but ends up mucking things up and making things even worse than before. And another thing is-
*GETS SNIPED*
Me, now a ghost: hee hoo silly sad ginger boy
(sorry I listened to 'I bet on losing dogs by mistake while thinking about him')
10 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 26 days
Text
...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
13 notes · View notes
prick-love-for-arting · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
... Mhm
38 notes · View notes
darcyolsson · 1 year
Text
sometimes i will listen to a song and know in my heart and soul that if the lyrics were in english it would have tumblr in a complete, utter, nochildren.mp3-esque chokehold
73 notes · View notes
lucyvaleheart · 1 month
Text
.
8 notes · View notes
h-doodles · 9 months
Text
boy the sudden outpour of angst ideas for larissa weems x reader in my brain got me weeping so bad i feel a fever coming on
#ALL YALL POSTING ABT FALLING OUT OF LOVE BUT MY BRAIN GOING 700 MILES FASTER AND 3000 YEARS FURTHER WITH A#the love was still there. it didnt change anything.#ABT READER LEARNING SHE'S DYIG SOON. BUT KNOWS LARISSA IS SWAMPED WITH NEVERMORE & DEALING WITH THE KIDS. AND SHE ALSO LOVES#HER NEVERMORE FAMILY SO MUCH. SHE CANNOT BEAR TO MAKE THEM SAD#AND BC LARISSA IS SO BUSY. SHE HASNT REALLY LOOKED @ HER WIFE. AND TO READER ITS JUST OKAY. AND CREATES A MINI VIDEO JOURNEY#AND LIKE. ITS JUST ALL THE LITTLE THINGS SHE LOVED TO DO WITH LARISSA. AND THE KIDS. AND OF LIFE U KNOW.#and its wonderful and sad and beautiful#but she's dying and she doesn't want anyone else to know; her family had gone the same way too and thats how she wants it to end#and its just. augh. not my brain adding more angst rn#where her one & only friend notices#and is the one bringing her to all her doctor's appointments (outside jericho ofc. she knows her wife would know the instant had she been#diagnosed there) and like. Larissa getting more and more suspicious of their outings and accuses r of infidelity#.......and at this point r is just. done. and lies.#and gets out of Larissa's life. and everyone's just. shocked & devastated#R leaves but also begs her friend to go away. because she's just counting her days at this point. and you know what#the kicker here is that they agree knowing this was the last act of kindness they could give her.#AND LARISSA STILL DOESNT KNOW.#and wouldnt have known until Wednesday had a vision of a phonecall that'll shatter her#........shit. im crying again haha#anyways i love cinematic orchestra's i built a home <3 it really gives me such the best angst storylines#personal.txt#clown.txt#mod lee speaks stuff#idea.txt#larissa weems#larissa x reader#larissa weems x reader#lee writes#lee writes stuff#my fic
19 notes · View notes
nxctern · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
There’s been something building up in my chest and mind for a while now
It’s an odd feeling
27 notes · View notes
flamboyant-king · 1 year
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pink Camellias symbolize longing...
40 notes · View notes
candyskiez · 1 month
Text
Love hearing my mom muttering about how stressful being my parent is and about how exhausting it is after I. Asked her if I should be worried about not being able to breathe. Jesus fucking Christ I just want to be able to rely on my parents for five minutes is that too much to fucking ask for
5 notes · View notes